Oct. 1, 2009

t he scribe

The official student newspaper of the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs.

October 1 to October 7, 2009 [Volume 34; Issue 6]

Catalysts of Destruction take over the Pub

Budget cuts cause temperature fluctuation in Columbine & Science Building Chris Sheppard csheppar@uccs.edu

UCCS students Michael Wisemen, Matthias Born, Travis Yeary, Anthony Siska, Andrew Parker, Daniel Aki, and Alec Serrneo chill out at the pub and play some video games.

Kevin Kassem

Catherine Jensen cjensen2@uccs.edu For Daniel Aki, a game design and development major, bringing people together through a love of gaming is nothing new. Aki began bringing a small TV and Game Cube to lunch in high school. Here he encouraged peers to participate and was able to ignite an interest in video games. At UCCS, his gaming mission continues with the student gaming

group Catalysts of Destruction.

What began as a few friends having fun has developed into a club of noteworthy potential. Last September, Aki and friends regularly set up equipment in the University Center to play video games. After a membership increase, the group became a registered club in the spring and moved to The Pub where they have a section and table of their own. The set up in the pub consists of two monitors,

multiple controllers, speakers and various other pieces of gaming equipment.

The club’s mission statement, “to create an environment where gamers can relieve stress and socialize,” is visibly upheld by club members. When not on the controls members play pool or sit and watch. Commentary regarding strategy and the progression (or regression) of a game is frequent and ceaseless.

There is also a social aspect to gaming, Vice-Chair

Anthony Siska said, “It makes it really easy to talk to people. There is a universal language between everyone who plays.”

The club meets every Monday, Wednesday and Friday from noon to when the pub closes, making them one of the more consistently active groups on campus.

The group is said to have eight regulars and three or four who always stop by in between class.

Continued on page 4

“A skateboarder behind the resident halls nails a kickflip on an uncharacteristically warm September afternoon.”

Ariel Lattimore

In the Middle the FEATURE

Public Safety

CAMPUS NEWS Anthropology department moving into Science building

page 4

University spends $162K for marketing operation

page 5 pages 6 and 7

CULTURE Exotic Drinks

page 8 Doodle for your noodle

page 9

As the warm summer comes to an end, the heat has not yet abated for students with class in Columbine Hall or the Science Building. Students and professors alike have expressed distress at the reportedly stifling heat in these buildings.

The heightened temperatures and lack of air conditioning was the result of this year’s budget cuts and faulty system disruptions.

These temperature irregularities may be part of an effort to save costs, but they do not make study time or lengthy lectures easy to endure. A recent email published by history professor Christopher Hill sent out across the campuswide faculty e-mail list was one effort made to uncover answers regarding this ambiguous topic.

The e-mail, which was directed towards “Colleagues and Powers-That-Be,” requested not only that the air conditioning be turned up in Columbine Hall, but expressed that the “suffocating heat” has now become a health problem for students and faculty with hypertension, or high-blood pressure Some students had even stated to the professor that they were “near-fainting” due to the intense heat in these rooms, according to the e-mail.

“Considerable research has been done to provide guidance on summer and winter temperature settings,” said Brian Burnett, Vice Chancellor for Ad-

OPINION Not all taxes need be opposed

page 10 Lolita as a call to action

SPORTS UCCS Men’s Golf: RMAC Fall Champions

page 5

ministration and Finance in regards to the temperatures.

“Cooling outside air from 90 degrees fahrenheit to 77 degrees fahrenheit instead of 75 degrees will save an estimated ten percent of cooling energy.” The exact dollar amount corresponding to the ten percent savings is still unknown.

Burnett did say that significant savings had been made in this year’s budget that affected the temperatures. “In response to state budget cuts, the campus did make cost reductions totaling $1.8 million from the FY 09-10 budget,” said Burnett.

“One of the cuts affected our annual utility expenses directly, but we have a goal to lower our energy bills on a per-square-foot basis.”

Published last April, the fourth issue of the 56thvolume of Communique, UCCS’s online newsletter for faculty and staff, discussed what would have to change for the 2009 to 2010 CU budget. The article stated that $150 million could be cut from state wide higher education, including from UCCS, before running into issues with federal stimulus. The temperature changes are part of a series of actions preparing for a potential budget shortfall.

While the article did not specifically list all these cost-saving measures, it did state that the “[CU] Task Force on Efficiency has already identified savings and we will continue to look for more,” and their efforts are “the right thing to do to ensure the overall health and long-term well-being of the university.” ◆

THE PARADOX Enrollment boost leads to ridiculous overcrowding

page 11

page 10

CONTACT | phone: (719) 255 - 3658 | fax: (719) 255 - 3600 | email: scribe@uccs.edu | website: www.uccsscribe.com

2

editorial

October 1 to October 7, 2009

scribe staff

Bigger and better? Taking the good with the bad

striving to present the truth to the students by creating an open forum for opinions and ideas

Executive Editor

Tim Canon Managing Editor I used to call this campus apathetic, because it seemed for the longest time like nothing ever happened here.

This year is different. The campus is growing, and with it, student activity has increased. Though I welcome the changes, I nevertheless would urge that the university administration, in order to better accommodate for this growth, take a closer look at some of its policies, services and resources.

Student life, of course, which generally grows with student population, is being handled fairly decently, to say the least. This year, enrollment jumped by a substantial amount, and campus events have grown accordingly: Club Fair was successful, Fight Club “March” to Four Diamonds attracted over 300 people, intramural sport registrations are way up and OSA reported higher-than-projected attendance at its Disorientation Week events, according to OSA Council President Michelle Kissler (though not “record” numbers, as your student body president might have you believe – “record” implies that OSA kept attendance records in the past, and Kissler assures me there are no such past records).

OSA, F.I.G.H.T. Club and other campus organizations can no doubt take some of the credit for the success of their campus events so far.

Planning events take time and effort, and without

someone to do it, nothing would ever happen. So credit where credit is due: Good job to OSA and other campus organizations so far on the whole campus life thing.

Growth in campus life, though, really boils down to growth in campus population. Providing activities is one thing, but campus growth in other areas must be managed properly in order to accommodate this activity without compromising the university’s quality. With this goal in mind, the university could use some serious reworking and change in at least a few areas.

Starting with these degree-cheapening radio ads I keep hearing. These ads put UCCS on a level with DeVry, Pikes Peak and Everest. There’s nothing wrong these schools, but if UCCS is trying to become a more traditional campus, then advertising like a community college is not going to get us there. It makes us look bad, and most students I know consider the ads laughable.

Let the marketing department do its job, and cut off the cheap ads. UCCS is better than that.

And no, those coffee carts in Columbine and Dwire are simply not worth the campus monopoly given to Sodexo. I love those breakfast sandwiches at Jazzman’s, but most of Sodexo’s food is of average quality and overpriced. A bigger and more diverse student body means we need more variety, and since we’re all poor, a couple less expensive options would, I foresee, improve campus morale and health to a considerable degree.

Speaking of morale, I have no idea how the tobacco surveys went, but the fact that they were conducted at all is moderately disturbing.

Every single UCCS student chose, in some way or another, to come here, tobacco

or not. That decision means they implicitly accepted the existence of tobacco at UCCS. Besides, unilaterally attacking a sizable fraction of your customers is bad business. This push to ban tobacco is ridiculously unnecessary, and administrators should know better.

None of this is to say everything here is managed poorly. Students may complain about book prices, but the bookstore is a remarkably efficient operation. Its snacks and beverages are excellently priced, and I myself have never had problems with classroom texts being in stock.

The Rec Center is another bright spot. Managed well, there is almost always open space in the fitness center, the weight room, the gym and the pool. The hours, furthermore, are excellent. The same goes for the library: There’s usually an open computer, there’s more books than you’d expect from a campus this size and the staff is generally friendly and helpful.

Still, the university is a profit-seeking business.

Education is a product, and students at UCCS are paying a good deal of money for it. Long term success of that product depends upon the provision of consistent, across-the-board quality: A lack or erosion of quality in some areas now could lead to mistrust and lower expectations for all areas in the future, and though UCCS is not shooting for Ivy League status; surely it cannot afford at this point to lower expectations.

If the university administration is serious about expanding UCCS, the least its members could do is sit down and take a long, hard look at some of its less successful endeavors, while praising and continuing its course in those that are more successful. ◆

Jackie Parkinson

Managing Editor Tim Canon

Copy Editor Randy Robinson

Culture Editor Avalon Manly

Opinion Editor Byron Graham

Campus News Editor Catherine Jensen

Sports Editor

Columnists Tim Canon, Erica Doudna, Byron Graham, Greg Reilly, Veronica Graves

Reporters Ricky Dalldorf, Carrie Horner, Lauren Mueller, David Owens

Photographers Kiley Card, Ariel Lattimore, Carrie Woodruff

Layout Designers Alec Bishop, Chris Sheppard

Illustrator Arno

Web Designer Dorian Rogers

Interning Reporters

Matthew Crandall

Layout Editor

Patricia Cameron, Justin Case, Phillip Jones Brock Kilgore, Chris Sheppard, Jessica Vaughan

Interning Photographer

Rosa Byun

Kevin Kassem

Advertising Manager Sarah Tindell

Distributor Donald Trujillo

Advisor Laura Eurich

INFORMATION Corrections In Volume 34, issue 5 of The Scribe, in the “Saigon Grill” article by Brock Kilgore it was the Mongols who attempted to invade Vietnam.

Archives Additional copies of the current publication volume will be available in The Scribe office. The Scribe keeps issues from the past five volumes for internal use only. The Office of University Records will handle any request for additional issues from the past five years and beyond.

Letters to the Editor

Visit us online at: <www.uccsscribe.com>

The Scribe strongly encourages Letters to the Editor. Letters intended for publication must not exceed 300 words, must be legible and must include the writer’s name and telephone number. Letters must be turned into The Scribe office, emailed or delivered to The Scribe mailbox in the ROAR office by 5 p.m. the Friday before publication. The Scribe reserves the right to reject Letters to the Editor that are libelous or obscene or anonymous, and has the right to edit as necessary due to space limitations, grammatical or spelling errors and AP style guideline errors.

student life

10/4/2009 - 10/10/2009

4

Paramore @ The Fillmore Auditorium, Denver, CO 7:30 p.m.

mon. tues.

5

Bike Tuning Workshop @ Campus Rec Center – contact dbowan@ uccs.edu Catalysts of Destruction Meetup @ The Pub 12 p.m. – close

6

Student commuter donuts @ University Center 7 a.m.

The Rice is Right @ UCCS Radio 7 p.m.

wed.

7

Catalysts of Destruction Meetup @ The Pub 12 p.m. – close Club Orientation @ UC 124 5 p.m.

thurs.

8

fri.

9

Fall Fire @ Parking Lot 4 8 p.m.

SGA House Meeting @ UC 303 9 a.m. – 12 p.m.

Women’s Volleyball vs.

CSU-Pueblo @ Lion’s Den 7 p.m.

Catalysts of Destruction Meetup @ The Pub 12 p.m. – close

The Rice is Right @ UCCS Radio 7 p.m.

Men’s Soccer vs.

Colorado Christian @ Mountain Lion Stadium 4:30 p.m.

Parent/Student Recognition Dinner @ Rec Center 5 p.m.

sat.

10

Back to the Bluffs Family Hike – Contact dbowan@uccs. edu Parent-Only Dinner @ Phantom Canyon Brewery 4 p.m.

Homecoming Formal/Casino Night @ UC Upper Plaza 8:30 p.m.

Comedian – Marcus @ Rec Center 9 p.m.

campus crime in brief

want to see your picture? email your photo of the week to scribelayout@gmail.com

sun.

what’s going on today?

sudoku! (very hard)

Lot 9 woes You know it’s going to be a good month when not three hours into the first day (Sept. 1), we’ve already got a domestic violence and assault charge on the books. Down in Lot 9 in the wee hours of the morning, campus police picked up one Tiarra Rodriguez, age 24, for an assault in progress. In shocking news, Rodriguez had an outstanding warrant at the time of the incident.

Bad month for Christophers September was a poor month for kids in the dorm named Christopher who like to get their drink on. More than half the students busted for underage possession of alcohol were named Christopher—of 9 busts, 5 were named Chris. So all of you Christophers out there with a handle of McCormick lying around might want to find a better hiding spot until October rolls around.

the first person to bring this completed sudoku will receive a schweeeet $10 gift card to La’au’s Tacos

bottom floor UCenter rm. 106

Marijuana in the dorms? Really?

Apparently some of you haven’t gotten the memo yet – smoking pot in your dorm room might not be the best thing to do. A good portion of the police blotter this month dealt with “odors of marijuana” coming from rooms. Furthermore, it’s unlikely that anyone’s going to believe that yours is medical marijuana. Better to keep that prescription on you or find a better excuse.

Handcuffs and tears Aspen House got a double-whammy on Sept. 22, with a bust for possession of marijuana and an underage drinking citation. Honestly, people, there are places all around campus and outside of campus to get your party on – haven’t we figured out that that sort of shindig in the dorms is probably going to end in handcuffs and tears? Well, probably handcuffs and inane laughter in terms of the guys with pot, but still.

More info on crime can be found at: <www.uccs.edu/~pusafety/police/blotter>

4

campus news

October 1 to October 7, 2009

Catalysts of Destruction (cont.) Anthropology department Continued from page 1 There are steadily four people playing at any given time and the group prefers fast games so they can rotate quickly and ensure everyone has the opportunity to play.

Aki said one of the goals of Catalysts of Destruction is to extend the education of gaming and increase competitive gaming opportunities. There is a lot more to gaming than simply knowing how to play, Aki asserted. “It teaches how to read

people and heightens your prediction skills.”

In addition to being supported by students at UCCS, Catalysts of Destruction is sponsored by Colorado Cutthroats, a chapter of the National Video Game Association, according to Aki. This group is a state wide gaming group that provides tournaments, social events and job training for gamers of all levels and stages across Colorado. Aki, who

has worked for the Colorado Cutthroats for eight months, is paid to competitively play video games. In regards to his passion for gaming, Aki said, “I love the competitiveness of gaming.

Single player games bring you into a fantasy world you have control over.”

The group caters to both casual and hard core players and encourages anyone to come by and watch or play. ◆

University spends $162K for marketing operation Jessica Vaughnn jvaugha2@uccs.edu

As part of its broader push for expansion and growth, the university is now allotting $162 thousand annually to a new marketing operation housed under University Advancement.

The operation is funded through the university’s “general fund,” according to Vice Chancellor for Administration and Finance Brian Burnett. Headed by University Advancement Chief Operating Officer Martin Wood and staffed by Multimedia Marketing Coordinator Jeff Foster and Assistant Director of University Relations Allison Swickard, it aims to reach out into the community and appeal to possible future students. The goal is to create and portray a uniform and interesting advertisement that catches prospective students’ eyes.

Before the university decided to undertake the operation, each college at UCCS had a different information pamphlet for prospective students. The plan that the marketing department had when coming into UCCS a year ago was to unify all of the different colleges and have one identical logo.

They also want to eventually have a single account that is spent on marketing for the school.

Swickard stated, “there are a lot of pockets of money all over campus, from the School of LAS to the School of Engineering, that we are trying to unify and put toward one cause.” That cause,

the advancement of the university, is the department’s main focus. In order to focus on this cause, the department in its first year has tried to get the name of the university out into the city of Colorado Springs and to aid in the advancement of the university, including improving campus population from 8.5 thousand to 10 to 12 thousand students.

One of the biggest tasks that the marketing department undertakes is surveying student opinion on marketing materials and techniques. The department has surveyed the community at UCCS to see what the students find appealing, and has changed its approach accordingly. For example, in the past, the “Welcome to UCCS” information packet has been bright blue with neon-colored blocks, which surveys revealed was not visually appealing. The packets that will be going out for the prospective class of 2014 is more school-oriented, with plentiful gold and black instead of blue.

Since much of the research of current and prospective students informed the content of the new packets, the department expects positive response when the packets go out next spring. In general, the department’s research found that, “students want to be spoken to directly, with no fluff in the middle. They want real stories of students,” said Swickard.

The new packet’s approach intends to incorporate these findings.

Another method of tracking the operation’s success is the placement of URLs on all university materials.

When Foster and Swickard send out an advertisement – for example, one big push lately has been to take out ads in local high school papers – they track the number of URL hits that coincide with the timeframe of the advertisement.

Foster is excited about the university’s advancement, as well as the unification of campus advertising materials and logos. “A few years ago, students didn’t even know what our colors were.

We want to make sure that our buildings bleed gold and black. We aren’t the little college on the hill, we are a University that is expanding, and expanding quickly and we want our school pride represented in that expansion.” After a year of work, they do feel and hope that they have made a small dent in the expansion of the university. Numbers are up from last year’s enrollment, and as of Aug. 26 applications after the operation’s first year were up 6.8 percent.

These new packets also have a new slogan, “Reach Higher.” Swickard said, “When thinking of the slogan for the University we wanted to embody the students and what our University is about at its core, and the reoccurring statement of ‘Reach Higher’ was always at the front of everything that our students do.” Foster added, “We care about what the students care about, we want to know what the students like and what is interesting to them."◆ Tim Canon and Cat Jensen contributed to this article.

moving into Science building

The Ulrich House where Anthropology classes are currently held.

Avalon Manly amanly@uccs.edu

The UCCS anthropology department is relocating next summer to the first floor of the Science building.

Dr. Minette Church, chair and associate professor of anthropology said, “Since the early years of UCCS, [the] anthropology [department] has never had designated departmental space.

For years and years, we’ve been housed in a succession of ‘temporary’ spaces, including the Forster House, Dwire Hall and now in Ulrich House where our ‘lab’ for biological and archaeological anthropology is a not-so-spacious two-car garage,” said Church. “Needless to say, we are very happy that after several decades we are finally getting designated space.”

The Science Building, currently under extensive renovation and reconstruction, is expected to be reopened for full usage in early summer 2010. Labs for the geography and environmental science departments will be located on the first floor alongside the anthropology labs and offices, according to Church, and the chemistry department will be up-

stairs.

“We are looking forward to having nice departmental neighbors,” said Church.

“We will have two archaeological labs, one biological teaching lab and a cultural/ linguistic anthropology lab,” she remarked, also detailing new spaces for the department’s current number of research labs and “plenty of space for ongoing and new student-faculty projects,” added Church.

Church stated that many graduated high school students reach their freshman year of college without any understanding of what anthropology – the study of people, their cultures, languages, artifacts and origins – actually is.

“Our current building is inadequate for teaching [and] research purposes, and it has hurt our ability to partner with students in [the] applied research, which is integral to how we all like to teach anthropology – handson. It has also hurt our visibility on campus. It will be nice to be more centrally located and have some space for our students to socialize and exchange ideas.”

When the anthropology department moved from Dwire Hall into the Ulrich House, they lacked the help of professional movers. “Important archaeological soil samples and possibly even

Kiley Card

some artifacts from one archaeological site were lost,” Church said, noting that the instance of missing artifacts is being investigated.

“That should not happen this time,” she explained firmly, “We are hoping for more packing and moving support, and a more organized time-frame.”

The anthropology department of UCCS has been integrated into various parts of Colorado Springs for years.

Apart from periodically offering both historical and prehistoric field schools, faculty are currently surveying the hillside along Austin Bluffs Blvd. between the main section of campus and the N. Nevada Ave. corridor for the future construction of the Bloch Cancer Survivor Park, one of only 18 nationwide.

The anthropology department is “in the process of becoming the repository for all archaeological collections” being recovered from sites on Air Force Academy grounds, it is important they have a climate-controlled curatorial space.

“This is very important to keep our archaeological research collections from deteriorating,” Church explained. The collection will ultimately be available to certain students for use in individual research projects. ◆

sports

October 1 to October 7, 2009

5

Sports Buzz: The World Series of. . . Beer Pong?

Matt Crandall mcrandal@uccs.edu

The month of January in the sports world is usually reserved for high excitement and anticipation for the typical sports fanatic. College football’s fate reaches its climax as the BCS games conclude to crown a winner.

The NFL staggers through round after round to see

who will have the chance to hoist the Lombardi Trophy after winning the Super Bowl. The NBA reaches its half mark and prequel to possible playoff contenders. With so much great action to be watched in the freezing month of January, is it possible there could be a new contender to rise to the occasion and deliver as much excitement and entertainment for the sports fan?

Some people in Las Vegas think so.

What is this sport, I hear you asking? Beer pong. I’m sorry, I mean the World Series of Beer Pong. The underground world of beer pong has made its way from producing excess vomiting and blackouts among college students to big time compe-

tition. Note: The Scribe does not advocate drinking.

This highly athletic and stamina driven event is scheduled to take place Jan. 1-5, 2010, at The Flamingo Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, NV. Games are played on regulation eight-foot long beer pong tables, and there actually exists a strict set of rules and guidelines that players must follow.

The official rulebook on inappropriate conduct states, “Unacceptable conduct includes, but is not limited to, fighting, abuse of referees, abuse of other players, abuse of beer (excessive spilling), etc.” Based on that rule alone, I can’t believe this is an actual sponsored, organized and serious event labeled a sport.

With that aside, I find this idea of beer pong being played on a competitive level a joke, nothing more or nothing less. When I stumbled upon information and direct sources to the event, the only thing that came to mind was the movie “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story,” starring Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn. I pictured teams showing up wearing the latest Adidas or Nike athletic gear: Sweatbands, track suits, athletic shoes and maybe taped-up ankles.

But, not surprisingly, the photos I found from previous World Series of Beer Pong events (this year marks the fifth entry of play) consisted of players who didn’t exactly hit the

mark of appearing to be fine tuned athletes. Some even carried packs of Marlboro Reds around just in case competition got so extreme they needed to run outside and grab a pull. This just uniformly represents what a “sport” really is: Combining competitive play with the use of alcohol and nicotine.

Give me a break.

In an article at Laist. com, beer pong player Brian Newell explains, “Being competitive, having played a sport is definitely to your advantage in the game.” He adds, “I played doubles tennis, so I think that that has helped us because the game definitely has similarities to doubles tennis.” Are you kidding me? So according to Newell, having an extensive

background in tennis allows for increased skill in beer pong. That makes about as much sense as me saying I could be a great soldier in the army or marines because I’m a level 50 in Halo 3.

Don’t expect to see the much anticipated World Series of Beer Pong on ESPN or any similar affiliate. For those who are die-hard beer pong fans, getting online and doing a Google search would be the best way to get latest news and information on the event. The turnout this year is expected to be even larger than it has been in previous years, which may account for some interesting moments as players attempt to follow the road to glory and be crowned champions of beer pong. ◆

UCCS Men’s Golf: RMAC Fall Champions

Sports Scoreboard Men’s Soccer

(3-4-1, 1-2-1 RMAC) The golf team (top left), Coach Phil Trujillo on the right advising freshman Spencer Biersdorff (top right).

Tim Canon tcanon@uccs.edu

Junior Brian Morfeld.

The Golf team brought home a victory Sept. 22 at the RMAC Fall Championship, closely edging out School of Mines by seven strokes and Western New Mexico University by nine.

The tournament, cut down to one round due to weather, is the Golf team’s second win this year and the latest in a series of what Coach Phil Trujillo calls showings of “good leadership and a strong mix of experience.”

“Our team chemistry is great,” said Junior Riley Andrews, who finished fourth for the men’s team with a score of 76. “All of the boys are starting to play well, which is great for everyone’s confidence.”

RMAC, which stands for the Rocky Mountain Athletic Conference, is a subdivision of NCAA Division II athletics. Competition with-

in the conference is a primary determinant in qualifying for postseason play.

The team, which won the Peaks Classic Sept. 15 in a come-from-behind, one stroke victory, is confident of its chances in RMAC competition. Trujillo emphasized that this victory over the competition in tough course conditions boded well for the team. “It’s momentum going into the second half of our schedule,” he said.

Several upcoming tournaments, including the Grand Canyon Invitational and RMAC Conference, will further test the team. “We have to play in two RMAC events that count towards the Conference Championship and an automatic bid to Regionals,” said Trujillo of the importance of the RMAC competitions.

“Grand Canyon’s event always has a good field and we’ll test ourselves against some of the higher ranking teams in the nation,” he finished. ◆

All photos courtesy of Doug Fitzgerald

Sept. 27 at Golden, CO Co. Mines 3, UCCS 0 Sept. 25 at UCCS UCCS 4, CSU-Pueblo 3

Women’s Soccer

(3-4-0, 2-3-0 RMAC) Sept. 27 at Kearney, CO UCCS 1, Neb. Kearney 0 Sept. 25 at UCCS Metro State 5, UCCS 1 Sept. 23 at Lakewood, CO Co. Chr. 3, UCCS 2

Women’s Volleyball (8-6, 3-3 RMAC)

Sept. 26 at UCCS UCCS 3, Chad. State 0 Sept. 25 at UCCS UCCS 3, Co. Mines 1

Senior David Cosel.

More information at: www.gomountainlions.com

All About Public Safety a

b BY: The Scribe

UCCS campus law enforcement patrols the local streets and parking lots, settling disputes, guarding late-night students on the way to their cars and arresting thieves and other law breakers. However, many students know little about this department. Presented is some information to help clear up a lot of the uncertainty.

What, exactly, do campus police and the Public Safety Department do, one might ask?

Aside from students who have lived in the dorms, this question may prove difficult for many at UCCS to answer. The campus police do indeed have a list of responsibilities, though, some similar to and some different from other police.

The first question many may wonder about is whether campus police are, in fact, actual police, or just paid security. UCCS Police Chief Jim Spice revealed in an interview with The Scribe that all 17 UCCS officers are indeed POST (police academy) certified policemen with all the powers and responsibilities of non-campus policemen.

As designated police, this group’s primary responsibility is the safety of those within its jurisdiction,which mostly means students and employees of the campus. Accordingly, one of the projects taken on by Public Safety is its crime prevention program. This includes putting on informational events, offering classes in self defense and holding First Aid and CPR training.

Rape Aggression Defense Systems (R.A.D.) is one of these programs. R.A.D is a handson, women-only self defense and risk reduction education program designed to “teach women realistic ways to defend and protect oneself from sexual and abductive assaults,” according to the Public Safety website.

Meral Sarper, a current student who has participated in R.A.D, says she decided to participate in the class to learn how to defend herself in case of dangerous situations.

[scribe@uccs.edu]

“The class has been very fulfilling and so much fun,” she said. “The UCCS police force is really great, and they are really passionate about us being knowledgeable on how to protect ourselves. The classes are important not only to learn essential defense techniques, but also to gain self-esteem.”

Though the duties of campus police as far as protection is concerned may be the same as other police, the jurisdiction of campus police is different. The jurisdiction of the campus police is limited to all UCCS owned or leased property and a buffer zone around the campus that spreads out about a mile in all directions.

The university has its own police squad, because the UCCS campus is state-owned property. The campus police are specifically allowed to work on the campus; state police have no authority here. Also, at times, Colorado Springs does not have the resources to completely protect campus property, and must obtain assistance from the state.

The way officers receive their pay is also different. Campus officers pay doesn’t come from the city like all other Colorado Springs’ officers. Instead, they get receive their pay from the state and from transportation fees paid by the students, according to Spice.

More information about campus police and programs in which students can participate can be found on the campus Public Safety website at www.uccs.edu~pusafety.

Catherine Jensen and Justin Case contributed to this article.

c Police Blotter Highlights (or Lowlights) DISPATCH - DISTURBANCE - GENERAL Sept. 01, 2009-Tuesday at 02:44 09-09-01-032829 090273 Location: PARKING LOT #9 SUMMARY: UCCS POLICE OFFICERS WERE DISPATCHED TO PARKING LOT 9 IN REGARDS TO A DISTURBANCE. DISPOSITION: RODRIGUEZ, TIARRA , AGE 24, WAS ARRESTED FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, ASSAULT, HARASSMENT, AND CRIMINAL MISCHIEF. DISPATCH - WARRANT - MISDEMEANOR Sept. 01, 2009-Tuesday at 06:29 09-09-01-032838 090274 Location: DPS HEADQUARTERS SUMMARY: UCCS POLICE DISPATCHED TO PARKING LOT 9 TO A POSSIBLE ASSAULT IN PROGRESS. DISPOSITION: UCCS OFFICERS ARRESTED TIAR RODRIGUEZ, AGE 24, ON A WARRANT. DISPATCH - WELFARE CHECK Sep 02, 2009-Wednesday at 20:41 09-09-02-033204 090279 Location: SUMMIT HOUSING VILLAGE SUMMARY: UCCS POLICE RESPONDED TO MONARCH HOUSE ON A WELFARE CHECK ,ON FEMALE STUDENT VOMITING. DISPOSITION: ARRESTED: BUCHANAN, CHRIS, AGE 18, AND, JUVENILE, AGE 17.

Chosen Excerpts From the 2009 Campus Safety and Security Report FULL TEXT:

DISPATCH - DRUG VIOLATION Sep 07, 2009-Monday at 13:11 09-09-07-033865 090281 Location: MONARCH HALL - HV #21 UCCS OFFICER FOUND DRUGS DURING AN ESCORT TO MONARCH HOUSE, ROOM 1210.

DISPOSITION: ARRESTED: RODENBERG, MATTHEW, AGE 18.

http://www.uccs.edu/~pusafety/2009Safety/

Crime Prevention Programs Parking Enforcement Officers - Students conduct core campus and parking facility safety

patrols on foot.

Safety Escorts - Police officers and security guards are available to provide safety escorts.

Tip: To enhance personal safety, and especially after an evening class, walk with friends

or someone from class that you know well.

Crime Prevention Tips - Available on the Public Safety web site at http://www.uccs.

edu/~pusafety/police/prevention/tips/ then click on the “Crime Prevention” link. Links

to other crime prevention pages are also provided.

Refuse to Be A Victim - A three-hour class that presents crime prevention, theft reduction,

personal awareness, and home and office security tips and concepts. These classes are

free and open to the campus and local community.

Bicycle Safety - Police Officers assigned to the Police Mountain Bike Patrol offer classes on

bicycle safety and skills to a variety of age groups to include pre-school and elementary

age.

National Bike Registry - NBR is a program that offers an informational link between

people whose bikes are stolen and the police who recover them. For more information

visit: http://www.uccs.edu/~pusafety/police/prevention/bike_registry.shtml Operation ID - Engraving service available upon request. http://www.uccs.edu/~pusafety/

police/prevention/operation_id.shtml Office Watch - Office complexes are given a Security survey and enrolled in Operation ID.

Office personnel are trained to recognize and confront suspicious persons and to

notify the police.

WeTip - Anonymous reporting system for crime, drugs, gangs, graffiti. (800) 78-CRIME

http://www.uccs.edu/~pusafety/police/prevention/wetip.htm Each Semester: Rape Aggression Defense -- (R.A.D. - is a hands-on, self defense, and risk

reduction education program. It is designed to teach the student realistic ways to

defend and protect oneself from sexual and abductive assaults. University Police offer

the following R.A.D. self-defense courses which are taught by nationally-certified

instructors: http://www.uccs.edu/~pusafety/police/prevention/rad.shtml

When Bad Weather is Really Bad: Campus Closure Info.

The primary premise for weather-related closing of the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs is that the institution will remain open unless there is unreasonable risk or danger to a substantial number of students and employees due to unreasonably hazardous driving conditions to campus. While utmost consideration is given to conditions for travel, UCCS continues to function during inclement weather.

In the event of heavy snowfall, extreme weather condition, a mechanical system failure or some other condition that prevents the safe operation of the campus, classes may be canceled or delayed. The authority to cancel or delay regularly scheduled classes rests with the Chancellor or the Chancellor’s designee. Every attempt will be made to announce this decision by no later than 6:00 a.m. for morning and afternoon classes, or 3:00 p.m. for evening classes and activities.

Information concerning campus delays or closure is posted by the campus police dispatch center. Information is available in several ways: on the Internet at http://www.flashalert. net/news.html?id=502 or by calling the campus Emergency Information Line at 255-3346, listening to local radio and TV stations, and via e-mail sent out to staff, faculty, and students concerning campus closures and delays.

the camera

on his bicycle

d : Officer Steve Dewey rides away

Photographers a : Ariel Lattimore b : Ariel Lattimore c : Kevin Kassem d : Ariel Lattimore

DISPATCH - LIQUOR VIOLATION Sep 12, 2009-Saturday at 23:20 09-09-12-034632 090289 Location: BRECKENRIDGE HALL - HV #25 SUMMARY: UCCS POLICE RESPONDED TO BRECKENRIDGE HOUSE IN RESPONSE TO A POSSIBLE LIQUOR VIOLATION DISPOSITION: CHOICES PROGRAM: CUSTER,TAYLOR, AGE 18, AND PUTHOFF, ALLYSON, AGE 18.

DISPATCH - LIQUOR VIOLATION Sep 13, 2009-Sunday at 00:14 09-09-13-034634 090290 Location: KEYSTONE HOUSE - HV #23 SUMMARY: UCCS POLICE RESPONDED TO KEYSTONE HOUSE ON A REPORT OF A POSSIBLE LIQUOR VIOLATION. DISPOSITION: CHOICES PROGRAM: PICKERING,TAYLOR, AGE 18: FRASER,JOEL, AGE 18.

ARRESTED: BUCHANAN,CHRISTOPHER, AGE 18.

DISPATCH - LIQUOR VIOLATION Sep 15, 2009-Tuesday at 22:25 09-09-15-035094 090296 Location: ANTERO HOUSE SUMMARY - UCCS POLICE WERE DISPATCHED TO ANTERO HOUSE IN REGARDS TO A POSSIBLE LIQUOR VIOLATION. DISPOSITION: REFERRAL TO HOUSING: RIZZO, GREGORY, AGE 19.

DISPATCH - SUSPICIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES Sep 15, 2009-Tuesday at 23:46 09-09-15-035106 090297 Location: MONARCH HALL - HV #21 SUMMARY: UCCS POLICE WERE DISPATCHED TO HOUSING VILLAGE ON A REPORT OF SUSPICIOUS PERSONS. DISPOSITION: EXCLUSIONARY LETTER ISSUED. DISPATCH - DRUG VIOLATION Sep 18, 2009-Friday at 17:32 09-09-18-035526 090302 Location: VAIL HOUSE -HV #22 SUMMARY: UCCS POLICE RESPONDED TO VAIL HOUSE ON A REPORTED ODOR OF MARIJUANA. DISPOSITION: HOSKINS, SEAN, AGE 19, ARRESTED. DISPATCH - INFORMATION REPORT Sep 21, 2009-Monday at 16:24 09-09-21-035912 090303 Location: KEYSTONE HOUSE - HV #23 SUMMARY: UCCS POLICE RESPONDED TO KEYSTONE, RM 303B TO TAKE AN INFORMATION REPORT ON A POSSIBLE SUICIDAL PARTY. DISPOSITION: REPORT TAKEN. DISPATCH - DRUGS - UNLAWFUL POSS Sep 21, 2009-Monday at 18:01 09-09-21-035921 090304 Location: KEYSTONE HOUSE - HV #23 SUMMARY: UCCS POLICE RESPONDED TO KEYSTONE, RM 307 TO TAKE A REPORT OF DRUGS. DISPOSITION: ARRESTED: BUCHANAN, CHRISTOPHER, AGE 18.

DISPATCH - DISTURBANCE - NOISE COMPLAINT Sep 22, 2009-Tuesday at 22:29 09-09-22-036112 090307 Location: ASPEN HOUSE - HV #27 SUMMARY: UCCS POLICE WERE DISPATCHED TO ASPEN HOUSE UPON REQUEST OF THE RESIDENT ASSISTANT FOR A NOISE COMPLAINT. DISPOSITION: ARRESTED: FRIES, CHRISTOPHER, AGE 19, FOR UNDERAGE POSSESSION/CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL AND POSSESSION OF LESS THAN AN OUNCE OF MARIJUANA AND POSSESSION OF DRUG PARAPHERNALIA. ALSO, ARRESTED LOWDER, TIMOTHY, AGE 18, FOR UNDERAGE POSSESSION/CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL. LOWDER WAS ISSUED AN EXCLUSION LETTER.

Captions a : Officer writing a ticket (1) b : Officer writing a ticket (2) c : Officer Betty Tatum smiling for

DISPATCH - CRIMINAL MISCHIEF - IN PROGRESS Sep 10, 2009-Thursday at 00:50 09-09-10-034226 090282 Location: ASPEN HOUSE - HV #27 SUMMARY: UCCS POLICE RESPONDED TO ASPEN HOUSE IN REGARDS TO A CRIMINAL MISCHIEF IN PROGRESS. DISPOSITION: ARRESTED: MONTGOMERY, PAUL, AGE 19, AND GOLDMAN, ALEXANDER, AGE 19.

d

DISPATCH - MEDICAL CALL Sep 25, 2009-Friday at 00:32 09-09-25-036411 090309 Location: BRECKENRIDGE HALL - HV #25 SUMMARY: UCCS POLICE WERE DISPATCHED TO A MEDICAL CALL IN BRECKENRIDGE HOUSE. DISPOSITION: REFERRED HIGHBERGER, CHRISTOPHER, AGE 19, FORUNDERAGE POSSESSION/CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL.

8

culture

October 1 to October 7, 2009

wn

Ag o

i a l t dow k c o c nto d o

Byron Graham bgraham2@uccs.edu

Photo by Carrie Woodruff

Brock Kilgore bkilgore@uccs.edu I have been around the cocktail block, so to speak.

I have sat and drunk with George Clinton, Ralph Nader and Dennis Rodman.

I have served drinks to Atmosphere, The Reverend Horton Heat and Merle Haggard. I once threw Dave Attel and his mouthy bodyguard out of my club. Josh Homme of the Queens of the Stone Age told me once where I could go and what I could do there, and I once threw popcorn at the comic Lewis Black as he’d passed out on my buddy’s couch.

My point, you ask? I am not easily impressed. These days I spend more time in the library than I do fetching low-fat chocolate milk for Ani Difranco, but I have mixed many a cosmo and I know a good drink when I taste one. So when asked to find the best outlandish mixed drink in the area, I stepped out into the socalled Colorado Springs nightlife with all the gusto I could muster.

First things first. Getting a drink at 15C is like trying to go through a Gestapo checkpoint without papers, so don’t even bother. They are pretentious and rude. The staff at the V Bar seem to be

enchanted with whatever is radiating from the register instead of serving drinks, so I’ll leave them to that.

Negativity now dispensed with, the Underground has always been a fun place to go. I remember being so glad when I turned 21 and became eligible to attend the Underground on Alternative Monday nights (yes, I‘m old). Today the Underground is a “gay” bar, and it’s fun. The Underground features user-friendly cocktails unleashed in a cavernous, schwanky-basement like feel. Their signature drink is The Pixie Stick, which with watermelon liqueur, citrus vodka and 7-Up will leave you feeling happy and somehow much lighter, like I imagine a pixie should.

The Dirty White Boy came highly recommended and did not disappoint. This attractive martini blends Van Gogh pineapple vodka, sweetened lime juice and a pineapple sugar rim.

Nosh is cleverly hidden in the south end of The Plaza of the Rockies. It is worth finding because it stands alone with intelligent and professional service, as well as the best and most inventive drinks. The interior feels feng shui, like a Japanese garden pond. The drink menu is impressive beyond the mixed cocktails with white sangria, exotic

Location

beers and half-bottles of wine. Everything, including the fine food, is infinitely shareable and the impetus is to taste.

The Martini Flight at $15 offers samples of the pomegranate lemonade, Nosh cosmo, French pear, cucumber rose, Patron Sour and Frank’s Mistake specialty cocktails. All are clever spins on the classics and all are delicious.

I am not a bloody mary guy, but my favorite drink of the weekend proved to be Nosh’s Bloody Mary Garden Flight. For $10 it features samples of their Chipotle Mary, Bloody Molly and Bloody Maria made with vodka, scotch and tequila respectively. The salt on the rims plays an important flavor role, and this excellent drink is served on an attractive plate with tasty pickled veggies.

The dynamic bar-keeping duo Cody and Frank wanted and were able to answer all questions posed, and kept coming back for more. All you young servers and budding bartenders take note: Be nice, get knowledgeable and listen. This advice could pay for your college.

It was pleasantly surprising to find in my hometown that it is possible to get a good drink mixed by someone who cares both about making it, and my day. ◆

Thoughts

15C Club 15 E. Bijou Street #C, 80903

Rude, pretentious. Enchanted with whatever in the register.

Underground Pub 110 N. Nevada Avenue, 80903

User-friendly, “gay bar.” Fun, highly recommended.

Nosh 121 S. Tejon Street #100, 80903

Feels feng shui, menu impressive.

Dynamic bar-keeping.

Failing to unseat “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs” this weekend was the new Bruce Willis vehicle “Surrogates,” a science fiction thriller from Disney’s Buena Vista production company. I had the misfortune of sitting through it last Friday night at Cinemark Tinseltown.

This movie’s sole redeeming quality was its mercifully brief 88-minute running time.

The plot, echoing late ‘80s Schwarzenegger camp sci-fi films (think “Total Recall”) surrounds the use of robot surrogates, a technology that allows customers to control android versions of themselves as they proceed through their daily business and apparently having lots of freaky sex with other people’s surrogates or “surreys” (because people in the future love to abbreviate words). What seems like an intriguing premise in the trailer wears thin during the film’s opening montage, which grounds us in the history of robot surrogacy.

In the aforementioned opening, viewers are intended to believe that in a mere 14 years, surrogates have

entirely replaced humans in day-to-day life, and, by extension, eliminated murder and racism, while facilitating bloodless war-making and making everyone hotter (because really, who would design a fat robot surrogate?). The film contains several jolting revelations of the always uglier (and sometimes opposite-gendered) people operating their robo-puppets from fancy recliners with brain helmets.

However, a growing backlash develops among a cabal of anti-surrogate activists called “Dreads,” who occupy robot-free zones in major cities and heed the daily sermons of their dreadlocked revolutionary leader known only as The Prophet, played to unintentional chuckles

by Ving Rhames. Early on, one of the Dreads discovers a weapon that can kill surrogates and their erstwhile operators simultaneously, which leads to the first murder since surrogates hit the market for mass consumption. Willis co-stars with Rhada Mitchell as an FBI agent assigned to solving the murder.

With a performance this

Tech News: Rosa Byun gbyun@uccs.edu

The Internet has been rocked by The Pirate Bay caught in freefall, Google fighting against Apple for a place in the App Store, the upcoming Windows 7 and a slew of new Apple products to enhance your tech life.

The Pirate Bay, host to thousands of torrent files, was poised for purchase by Global Gaming Factory, a Swedish company. However, due to a strange twist of fate, the company revealed that it would be filing for bankruptcy just before the payment was due. The state of The Bay is currently in limbo.

This news is probably a mixed blessing for Pirate

wooden, a viewer wonders if old Bruce wasn’t himself strapped into one of “Surrogates’” brain recliners, letting a doppelganger robot deliver the uninspired dialogue and collect a paycheck while he kicked back and rewatched “Die Hard.” I mean, “Die Hard” was pretty awesome. Where’s the love now, Bruce?

“Surrogates” has no pulse, and not just because most of the characters aren’t human.

No one involved on any level of the production seemed to try. The dialogue sounds as though it were written by studio executives at a pitch meeting who’ve hit upon an interesting concept but haven’t the talent to coalesce their undoubtedly cocainefueled efforts into a movie worth watching. I admit, I don’t know if Michael Ferris and John D. Brancato actually wrote this screenplay (adapted from little-known graphic novel by Robert Venditti and Brent Wedele) while high on cocaine, but I certainly hope they did, so I can confirm that somewhere down the line, at least one person had fun at this movie. ◆

Pirates, apples and windows

Bay founders Peter Sunde, Fredrik Neij and Gottfrid Svartholm, while they face a year in prison and $3.5 million in fines. They are in the process of appealing their sentences.

Apple’s heavy-handed treatment of Google’s Google Voice Application (app) in the iTunes store smells like a lawsuit. For those uninformed of the debacle, Apple has complete control over the content in the iTunes store, be it movies or applications.

Recently, it denied hosting the new Google Voice application, which would allow iPhone and iPod Touch users to call other people’s phones without using AT&T (the exclusive phone provider for the iPhone).

Google claims that Apple refused outright to host the

application (which meets all of the requirements to be in the App Store) and Apple claims that it didn’t deny the app at all, but is in fact still considering it.

Windows stands poised to release Windows 7 on Oct. 22, hopefully as an effective mouthwash to clean away the bad taste of Vista.

The aging company hopes to revitalize the brand with trippy designer wallpapers, slick taskbars and menus.

Apple’s new operating system Snow Leopard received an uncharacteristically early software update to correct some minor problems.

These were minor additions compared to the large alteration made to their tiny iPod. The new iPod Nano now has a video camera built in to take YouTube-ready video, but not still shots. ◆

culture

October 1 to October 7, 2009

9

Doodles are good for your noodle Lauren Mueller lmueller@uccs.edu

Michele Pico is not often in class without her sketchbook.

Kiley Card

Teachers may get frustrated when their students doodle in class, but doodling may actually be helping students use their brains.

“I doodle all the time,” said Brian Voigt, a former UCCS student. “They are all over my old notes.”

Voigt may have retained the content of those notes better due to the doodling, according to recent research.

Recent studies by Jackie Andrade, a Professor of Psychology at the University of Plymouth, revealed connections between retention and doodling in class.

Andrade’s experiments, recently published in “Applied

Cognitive Psychology,” consisted of 40 people listening to phone conversations and trying to recall names and places. Certain people were asked to shade in shapes or doodle, while the rest were left to their own devices to occupy the time. The people who were asked to doodle while they listened recalled names and places 29 percent better than those who did not doodle.

“People who doodled while listening had better recall than those who didn’t,” says Andrade, in an interview with Wired.com.

Wired suggests that a slightly distracting secondary task may improve concentration based on these types of studies.

“I mostly doodled in my boring classes,” said Voigt.

“Doodling helped the time

pass in those long classes.”

The brain is designed to process a constant influx of information. Andrade told National Public Radio (NPR) that when the brain is bored, it tends to wander.

This leads to intense daydreams that take up brain power and can distract students in class. Doodling, on the other hand, tends to keep the brain focused on current circumstances.

According to an NPR report, many bright people in history have been known to doodle, including: Bill Gates, Lyndon Johnson, Ronald Reagan and Ralph Waldo Emerson.

“The exciting thing is that people actually got better while doing two things at once,” said Andrade. “Doodling is not as bad a thing as we might think.” ◆

Erica Doudna edoudna@uccs.edu Darwin, Hitler and Kirk Cameron are now co-authors. (and you thought Israel, Lady Gaga, and penises couldn’t be topped as an odd list). In a video viewable on YouTube, made by a group called Living Waters, Cameron (with an apparent Evangelical agenda) and others explain why they are attempting to republish and redistribute Charles Darwin’s “Origin of Species.” Cameron goes on to explain a new 50-page introduction to the book, detailing, “Adolf Hitler’s undeniable connection with the theories, Darwin’s racism, and disdain for women.” In the hopes of “commemorating” the 150th anniversary of Charles Darwin’s “Origin of Species,” copies of Darwin’s book (which will also include this “introduction” about Darwin and explain how Creationism is a scientific possibility) are to be urged upon college students across the country. Because after all, what right-minded student really wants to go buy the book?

One-hit wonder Macy Gray, a contestant on the new season of “Dancing with the Stars,” wasn’t necessarily keeping her language by the book in the show’s season premiere when she spoke of her first dance and exclaimed, “finally busted that cherry.” While some ballroom dances are considered “erotic” or “risqué,” one can only wonder how the show’s main demographic is going to respond to more base metaphors from this season’s “stars.” Gray might want to chat with Kanye West about how the majority of the American public responds to celebrities who constantly say exactly what they are thinking.

While most of the world was still busy clamoring about Kanye West and the VMAs, “30 Rock” star Tracy Morgan celebrated “30 Rock’s” five Emmy wins with a fabulous dinner. Moments after the award show, Morgan was snapped by a photographer exiting his limo to shout his order out at a Wendy’s drive-thru menu board.

Maybe nothing makes the recognition of your colleagues’ success more savory than a delicious 99 cent junior bacon cheeseburger and an order of value fries? ◆

VISIT US ONLINE! see our new website

<www.uccsscribe.com>

10 opinion

October 1 to October 7, 2009

Not all taxes need be opposed

Tim Canon tcanon2@uccs.edu The anti-tax prejudice of the United States is understandable given the nation’s history, reasonable given the relative inefficiency of its government and quite effective as a practical method of preventing the imposition of progress-inhibiting taxes on Americans.

Sometimes, though, this unfailing prejudice leads to policies and outcomes far worse than taxes. It encourages our politicians to pass policies that effectively do the same thing as taxes, but in a more corrupt and less efficient way. Sometimes, it even inhibits government

from accomplishing its basic purposes.

Consider the carbon emission debate, namely, carbon taxes versus a cap-and-trade system. Economists are divided on the issue, but a significant number of them agree that a tax on carbonemitting production is a more efficient and fairer way of curbing carbon emissions than a cap-and-trade system. A tax wouldn’t allow a few Senators to dole out permits to favorite corporations – though, granted, big carbon emitters would probably lobby for significant loopholes in a tax – and it wouldn’t require a new bureau, as would a cap-andtrade system.

The issue is of course not settled, but even if we assume that a tax were the better option, it still is unlikely to defeat cap-and-trade anytime soon, because it is nearly politically impossible for politicians to tax Americans – even when a tax is better than alternative proposals – without paying for

it in the next elections.

Local governments see this prejudice too, especially in conservative communities like Colorado Springs.

Because of Colorado’s Taxpayers’ Bill of Rights (wellintentioned), any new taxes in Colorado Springs have to pass a citizens’ vote, which means taxes will almost never be approved. Even tiny increases for programs as essential as public safety are resisted. .

In November 2008, for instance, a paltry county sales tax increase of 1% was proposed to collect revenue for the currently-struggling El Paso County Sheriff ’s Office, the police department, the fire department and other public safety divisions.

Violent crime rates in Colorado Springs rose 16 percent from 2004-2007, and most citizens agreed that something needed to be done to improve the local government’s safety abilities.

Despite widespread cognizance of rising crime, the tax still failed, because anti-

tax citizens had been told by various anti-tax individuals and interest groups that it was far larger than what was truly needed – which they claimed was only a half percent. Even if that were true, 1 percent versus 1/2 percent means the difference of 50 cents on a purchase of $100, which is, honestly, a tiny marginal increase that is probably well worth the extra prison space and improved patrolling abilities that would have resulted from the revenue.

Of course, taxes are no wonderful thing: they are, in effect, legalized thievery, and taxation is often implemented abusively. Consider Colorado Springs’ distorting 1A mill-levy last April that would serve to continue discriminatory tax breaks for select corporations, or the dubious “sin tax” on soda currently being considered in Washington.

But relatively few people are thrilled that a powerful institution called government has a monopoly on

the ability to coercively collect such taxes. Few would deny that the existence of government force is necessary, though, if for nothing else than the protection of rights.

Similarly, some taxes, while reprehensible and in many ways unfortunate, are quite necessary to the operation of basic government functions like police and military protection. They might even help reduce the public debt, since Americans in practice don’t really support spending cuts (if you don’t believe me, just ask your rich, “fiscally conservative” uncle or grandfather if he’s planning on refusing his social security check anytime soon).

None of this goes to say we should fall in love with taxes. But neither should we fall so easily for the “taxaphobic” mentality, where we plug any and every taxincreasing measure into a “no taxes” black box and indiscriminately dispose of such policies as wrong. Such formulaic opposition to

taxes is weak thinking, and leads us away from the deliberate and careful consideration of important issues necessary for the success, relatively speaking, of self government. Not only that, it may lead politicians to implement policies far more detrimental to long term growth than a simple tax.

When anti-tax rhetoric means citizens would rather purchase a few packs of tictacs than support a public safety improving sales tax, or when they literally cannot even fathom making a difficult choice between two undesirable policy alternatives, much less cleaning up government’s currently grossly imbalanced coffers, something is wrong. Such undying opposition cannot bode well, and it cannot lead to effective governance.

I stand by the maxim that all things government deserve critical scrutiny, but it must have a real purpose. So when it comes to taxes, how about a little prudent discretion, America? ◆

Banning Books: Lolita as a call to action relationship. Many Americans were outraged when it was published in 1955 and the novel continues to be banned in school libraries nationwide.

Greg Reilly greilly@uccs.edu As many of you know, Banned Books Week is nearly over. For the past week, book lovers worldwide have come together to fight censorship and “remind Americans not to take this precious democratic freedom for granted,” according to the American Library Association. I’d like to take some time now to talk about one of my favorite banned books ever: Lolita, by Vladimir Nabokov.

Nabokov is one of the finest writers of the 20th century, both in Russian and English.

His seminal work, Lolita, has been repeatedly banned for its content—in the book, an older man befriends and seduces a 12-year-old girl and travels around the country with her while maintaining a bizarre and pedophiliac

“we’re not going to allow censorship... to dilute what makes this country great—the ability to completely misconstrue the meaning of a piece of work” I tend to think this book banning business is rather silly. We live in the 21st century. Our world is a bigger, smarter, bolder place. The idea that this book has been banned repeatedly sends me into a tizzy. Anyone in their right mind could see from the flowery prose and everincreasing paranoia of the book’s narrator what exactly Nabokov is trying to convey in his book, an idea decades before his time. I am speaking, of course, about lowering the legal age of consent

to 12.

How, in this big, bright world we live in, do we still hang on to puritanical ideas of when a woman is a woman? Historically, many cultures allowed girls to marry as early as they can—our forefathers lived in a time when 14- to 16-year-olds were considered to be in the prime of their lives. Nabokov knew this and wrote his classic novel to show how centuries of unfair and arbitrary age of consent laws can (and do) drive otherwise sane, rational, healthy men into paranoid dementia and murderous rages.

Even more unfair (and demonstrated by Nabokov) is that young people below the age of consent are free to copulate willy-nilly with their equally illegal counterparts. These neophytes have no concept of the ways of love—awkward, sloppy, and cumbersome, they engage in lovemaking like a bulldozer plowing through a display of beautiful, pristine glass sculptures rather than lovingly handling each one with the deftness and grace of a jewel cutter. It’s absolutely absurd that the young women of our country are subjected to such obtuse treatment when there are so

many grown, mature men out there willing to give them a proper introduction to the world of love.

So in the upcoming days, I urge you to go out and buy a copy of Lolita for yourself and for all of your friends.

Stage volunteer readings at your local high school (or middle school, if more convenient). Hold book club meetings to discuss it. Invite

your friends’ younger siblings to come along. They’ll be happy to engage in such intelligent discourse with older, wiser mentors. This will demonstrate to the world that we’re not going to allow censorship and archaic concepts like “sexual maturity” and “exploitation of minors” to dilute what makes this country great— the ability to completely

misconstrue the meaning of a piece of work and then get into an enormous hissy-fit over it despite our obvious inability to understand even simple concepts like satire and irony.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a speaking engagement at your sister’s middle school that I’m a bit late for.

Don’t wait up. ◆

“a busy season for firefighters”

Ricky Dalldorf

the

paradox

10 9 8

World of Warcraft – Its getting to the point that people find it acceptable that their friends stay in on Friday nights to do a raid instead of coming out with them.

the news is full of contradictions

Student Addictions

satire : irony : hilarity

Top Ten

paradox the

the news is full of contradictions

satire : irony : hilarity

Enrollment boost leads to ridiculous overcrowding

Facebook – This is a problem that’s becoming quite serious. Take a walk through the Kraemer Family Library some day and count how many people are facebooking rather than doing their homework.

7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Procrastinating – Facebook being the main enabler for this behavior, it seems that more and more often students can be found in the Columbine computer lab doing their homework that is due in less than an hour.

Bad Reality Television – Sounds a bit redundant, eh? It seems almost every day I hear somebody talking about the latest episode of Tool Academy or America Has Talent. I hope you know you’re dying inside because of those shows.

Video Games – Whether its Rock Band, Halo or Smash, college students can’t get enough. Video Games was given a separate category from WoW because most people consider WoW to be a drug.

Energy Drinks – You might be pounding a Red Bull or sipping on a Monster, but the people around UCCS love that stuff. Maybe this is the reason for the recent increase in paranoia around campus.

Complaining – Whether people are complaining about tuition prices, the absurdly loud clock tower or an obviously satirical article, I feel like I can’t leave my room without hearing someone bitching about our school.

Fighting the Man – Government, Big Brother, call him(or her) whatever you want, but it seems that college students are scrambling for a chance in the ring with The Man. Beer Pong – Not just drinking alcohol, but the actual idea of throwing the balls into the cups, you guys love this. Here’s a happy note, oral herpes has increased by more than 200% in the past 5 years…because of beer pong!

Smoking – Whether it’s delicious tobacco or a little bit of the ganja (and by that I mean a rolled up map of the city in Azerbaijan, of course), smoking is making a comeback.

rdalldor@uccs.edu

Base picture by Ariel Lattimore, squatter courtesy of the broken enrollment records and obvious Photoshopping by Rosa Byun

By Randy Robinson [rrobinso@uccs.edu] UCCS has broken enrollment records this year, but not without consequences.

The recent increase in campus size has not been an entirely peaceful development for the university. Stephanie Burkenhashton, a junior English student, staged a solo protest Sept. 20 outside of her English composition class at Columbine Hall. The reason for the protest: there was a queue stretching from the classroom, all the way down the hall and to the Daz Bog coffee shop to get inside. “This is insane,” exclaimed Burkenhashton. “Over two hundred students signed up for this one class, and they’re making us wait now to get in.”

According to Burkenhashton, students were kept outside based on seniority. Those students of the lowest seniority were to remain outside until students of higher seniority inevitably decided to skip out of the class.

“It takes at least thirty minutes for a senior to realize that they would rather be somewhere else, which means most of us have to wait until the class is almost over to get in. I have more important things to do than stand around waiting, like displaying the top five celebs who look like me on my Facebook.”

Although the protest proceeded peacefully, more violent eruptions have occurred elsewhere on the campus. Just a day after Burkenhashton’s protest, a stream of foul sludge shot out behind the dorms near The Lodge. “Yep,

that ol’ septic tank done finally blew,” said Jarvis Juffers, one of the grounds crew at Summit Village. “Too many new students clogged up the pipes. The tank was already on edge as it was,” he added. School officials have not yet responded to rumors that the pressurized, vertical septic flow will be converted into a permanent marble fountain.

Dorm-bound students weren’t only plagued by noxious odors and sights, however. The number of dorms available to students was also severely limited, meaning that school housing had to provide tents for those students awaiting their room assignments. “What crud,” said Billy Williamson, a sophomore who’s lived at the dorms for the past year. “I had this uberposh crib with my own bathroom, and now I’m out here.” The tent area has been nicknamed “Slum Village” by the residents.

With the sudden influx of new students also came fewer spaces for parking on campus.

In fact, even Cragmor Christian Reformed Church, also known as “the free parking lot,” has been running out of parking spots. To accommodate for the loss of easy parking near UCCS, the neighborhood has implemented a valet service for those students who wish to avoid wasting half their day whipping circles through Lots 1-4. The cost of parking is $1 per hour, or $3 per day, and valet insurance offered by the neighborhood runs at $20 a month. ✪

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