t he scribe
The official student newspaper of the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs. October 15 to October 21, 2009 [Volume 34; Issue 8]
Hiroshima atomic bomb survivor speaks at UCCS
Student parking off campus
Keijiro Matsushima.
Tim Canon tcanon@uccs.edu Cars parked along the curb on Acacia Drive.
Erica Doudna edoudna@uccs.edu
UCCS’s enrollment grew over six percent this semester, but apart from the recent Lot 1 expansion, new construction projects have not included increased availability of parking spaces. Because of the high prices of parking permits, many students on campus opt to not purchase a parking permit, and students not willing to pay the high price resort to other options to make the commute to campus. In January of this year William Whitfield, the parking and transportation
Kiley Card
manager on campus, created a Facebook group titled “Parking at UCCS” to serve as a forum for fair discussion about parking on campus. The group has 194 members interested in discussing the hot-button campus issue. A similar group, “I Hate UCCS Parking,” has over 700 members. Student members use both Facebook groups as forums for general complaints about the parking situation on campus, a problem that continues to grow with UCCS’s population. Engineering students Corey Macintosh and Micah Bracken, for example, both choose to park across Austin Bluffs at Cragmor Chris-
tian Reformed Church. “I’d rather walk for five minutes than pay to park on campus,” Bracken said. “I don’t even know how much they cost, but it’s not worth it. I’d rather not wait for the shuttle and be crammed in with a lot of people. I’ll just walk,” added Macintosh. SGA President Daniel Garcia is among those who choose to park across Austin Bluffs and walk to campus. Garcia told The Scribe in an interview that after school necessities like textbooks and tuition have been paid for, he simply can’t afford a parking permit. “I didn’t have enough money to buy a parking permit. I spent all
my money on textbooks.” The general consensus of students who park and walk has been that HUB permits are too costly at $165. “I think the price for parking needs to be lowered,” said Garcia. “I wouldn’t be willing to spend more than $100 per semester.” Lower prices, however, would likely lead to more permit purchases and exacerbate the parking shortage problem. This past year Monday, Wednesday and Tuesday, Thursday, Friday passes were offered for $92.50 each. These are usable from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m.. Continued on page 4
Anthony Siska roasted a marshmallow over the Back to the Bluffs bonfire on Oct. 8.
Carrie Woodruff
In the Middle the FEATURE
Clubs in the Community pages 6 and 7
CAMPUS NEWS Free speech on campus
page 4
UCCS Sports scholarships
CULTURE Halo ODST: No game of the year
page 8
Spooked in the Springs: Local haunts
page 4
page 9
Hiroshima survivor Keijiro Matsushima visited campus last Tuesday, Oct. 13 to speak about his experiences following the US’s atomic bomb attack on Japan during the closing days of World War II. The sociology department’s honors society Alpha Kappa Delta hosted the speech, which Matsushima also gave on Oct. 14. Matsushima, who was born in 1929, feels that “we survivors are decreasing day by day,” so traveling around speaking while he still can is necessary and, he feels, his “duty as a survivor.” Matsushima was a 16year old student at a technical college when the US dropped its first atomic bomb – dubbed “Little Boy” because of its comparatively small size – on the city of Hiroshima, Matsushima’s home at the time. He still remembers the experience vividly, and his story gave those in attendance a sobering, first-hand look at the realities of America’s and Japan’s atomic bomb experience and its aftermath. Sixty-four years ago, Matsushima was sitting in a classroom gazing out the window, when several American bomber planes
OPINION Truth Bombs: Obama’s Gay Rights Record
page 10
Your very own free, slightly annoying personal shopper
SPORTS Sports Buzz: Jumping on board the Broncos bandwagon
Ariel Lattimore suddenly flew overhead. He remembers thinking the planes were part of another routine flyover at a time when Japan’s ability to repel enemy aircraft had been effectively neutralized. “I remember thinking how beautiful the planes were,” Matsushima told the audience. “I turned away from the window, and the next moment I saw a flash,” followed by a shock wave and a heat wave. Temperatures during the heat wave reached up to 4000 degrees Celsius, inflicting instant death upon multitudes of people and severely burning thousands of others. Able to escape his caved in classroom, Matsushima walked into the city, witnessing people fleeing in every direction, most of them singed, burned and almost naked. “It was a procession of ghosts all day long,” he said. “Such hell.” Matsushima, who remains in good health, closed his speech with an appeal to young people. “The future is in your hands,” he said. “It is important that we learn from these experiences.” “This thing must never be used on any other people or any other nation ever again in this world,” he pleaded. “Now is not the time to argue about what happened in the past, but to cooperate for the future.” ◆
THE PARADOX The Smile Offensive: Positivity gone wrong
page 11
page 5
page 10
CONTACT | phone: (719) 255 - 3658 | fax: (719) 255 - 3600 | email: scribe@uccs.edu | website: www.uccsscribe.com
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editorial
October 15 to October 21, 2009
scribe staff
Complaining
Jackie Parkinson Executive Editor When I have a bad day, all I want to do is complain about it, and complain is what I do, to everyone and anyone who will listen. I mean, my life is so difficult because I’m going to school, running a newspaper, and attempting to juggle friends and family. You should all feel sorry for me and my horrible life. If you did not catch the sarcasm in my writing, please know that I do not actually think my life is so horrible and I do not actually take that conceited tone, except when I’m complaining. Lately, walking around campus or talking to friends, I’ve noticed that no one really has anything good to say about UCCS, or really anything going on in their lives. Instead, they are constantly freaking out about the multiple midterms they have known about all semester, or whining about parking, or consistently upset about the littlest of things. Now, midterms are horrible, finals are horrible, group projects are horrible, and just actually having to
do work is horrible. I’ve never heard anyone say that they absolutely loved sitting down to take a mind-grueling test, and I really don’t expect anyone to. But when we all complain about the same thing over and over again, are we really helping ourselves? After all, complaining just runs us down into a negative attitude and negative attitudes never succeed. Whether it is my own mindset or luck, I have found the secret to parking at UCCS, and I will share my secret with all of you so you can all stop your whining. It may take some adjustments though, so this solution may not be suited for everyone. What I suggest is come early to school. My designated parking space is the third from the end in front of the University Center and since I am forced to sit through two 8 a.m. classes this year, I almost always have that spot. If I could mark it with my name I would, but that wouldn’t be fair to the rest of you. For those of you who wake up at noon, as I usually do every Wednesday, there is also a solution. Come right after the gap between classes and you will find a spot. For instance, for a 1:40 class people are always scouring the lots from 1:30 to 1:40 p.m., but after 1:40 p.m. when all the people who just left class at 1:30 p.m. and choose to leisurely walk to their cars will be leaving, giving you the perfect op-
tion for a space. It’s not brain surgery that almost all the classes run on the same schedules i.e. 8 to 9:15 a.m., 9:25 to 10:40 a.m., 10:50 to 11:55 a.m., 12:05 to 1:30 p.m., 1:40 to 2:55 p.m., 3:05 to 4:20 p.m., 4:30 to 7:05 p.m. and 7:15 to 9:05 p.m. Then there is the majority of our population who complain about every little thing. While I am constantly a person who really enjoys pointing out stupid little things that are wrong, I will include myself in this majority. I dare all of you to look at your Facebook News Feed. Today I have two people with headaches, a few complaining about the weather, one person has hurt their hand, another is annoyed with Referendum 2C among other political issues, and one is even complaining about how we do not watch the Magic School Bus in class anymore. Really, is this what is composing our college-educated minds? Also, what good comes out of complaining? Is anything solved or is it just fodder to occupy our thoughts and distract ourselves from the good in our lives? So the next time you complain think of what you are accomplishing, and look at your situation and how bad it really is, and more importantly think of how worse it could be. If you do not believe me that things can get worse, check out fmylife. com and you’ll instantly feel better. ◆
Letter to the Editor Dear Scribe, I am a senior here at UCCS and I am a biology major. I know for a fact that there are several students and faculty members undergoing research that either has not been published or is still in its early stages. I know a couple of students that participate and I have assisted in the molecular biology lab myself. My idea is that The Scribe should make an attempt to report on some of this research and possibly interview the people involved. I think it would be a great way to get students interested in all the areas of research available at our school. And it may also bring attention to some of the research from outside sources. I am not sure whether discussing research that is not published is unethical or dangerous (someone might steal ideas) but there must be some way for the research in physics, chemistry, biology, and psychology to get a little exposure.
Eric Madsen
striving to present the truth to the students by creating an open forum for opinions and ideas
Executive Editor Jackie Parkinson
Managing Editor Tim Canon
Copy Editor Randy Robinson
Culture Editor Avalon Manly
Opinion Editor Byron Graham
Campus News Editor Catherine Jensen
Sports Editor Matthew Crandall
Layout Editor Rosa Byun
Columnists Tim Canon, Erica Doudna, Byron Graham, Greg Reilly, Veronica Graves
Reporters Ricky Dalldorf, Carrie Horner, Brock Kilgore Lauren Mueller, David Owens
Photographers Kiley Card, Ariel Lattimore, Carrie Woodruff
Layout Designers Alec Bishop, Chris Sheppard
Illustrator Arno
Web Designer Dorian Rogers
Interning Reporters Patricia Cameron, Justin Case, Phillip Jones, Chris Sheppard, Jessica Vaughan
Interning Photographer
Advertising Manager Sarah Tindell
Kevin Kassem
Distributor Donald Trujillo
Advisor Laura Eurich
INFORMATION Archives Additional copies of the current publication volume will be available in The Scribe office. The Scribe keeps issues from the past five volumes for internal use only. The Office of University Records will handle any request for additional issues from the past five years and beyond.
Letters to the Editor The Scribe strongly encourages Letters to the Editor. Letters intended for publication must not exceed 300 words, must be legible and must include the writer’s name and telephone number. Letters must be turned into The Scribe office, emailed or delivered to The Scribe mailbox in the ROAR office by 5 p.m. the Friday before publication. The Scribe reserves the right to reject Letters to the Editor that are libelous or obscene or anonymous, and has the right to edit as necessary due to space limitations, grammatical or spelling errors and AP style guideline errors.
student life
sun.
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Intersections Film Festival: Rana’s Wedding @ 4:30 p.m. CSprings Fine Arts Center
what’s going on today?
mon. tues. 19
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In the Zone @ UCCS Radio 10 a.m.
Commuter Student Donuts @ SENG 7 a.m.
Rusted Root @ Ogden Theatre, Denver, CO 8 p.m.
Healthy Choices Fair @ Upper and Lower Plazas 11 a.m.
Intersections Film Festival: Caramel @ 7:30 p.m. CSprings Fine Arts Center
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wed.
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thurs. 22
Sean Kingston @ Ogden Theater, Denver, CO 8 p.m.
Graduate School Information @ UC 303 5:30 p.m.
Framing Hanley @ The Blacksheep 7 p.m.
Library Workshop: Research Skills @ Library 304C 7:15 p.m.
fri. 23
sat.
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Women’s Soccer vs. Fort Lewis @ Mountain Lions Stadium 5 p.m.
Intramural Volleyball season starts @ contact dbowan@ uccs.edu
The Pogues @ Ogden Theater, Denver, CO 8 p.m.
Steve Martin Banjo Music @ Paramount Theater, Denver, CO 8 p.m.
c Back to the Bluffs: a photo recap
want to see your picture? email your photo of the week to scribelayout@gmail.com
10/18/2009 - 10/24/2009
f
g a - Travis Samate, the fire dancer from APISU. b - Dancing during the formal. c - A game of Texas Hold ‘em. d - Lucky seven! Eric Keeling, John Steward throwing
the dice and Jordan Hendrickson. e - Comedian Marcus’ impression of a unicorn in hell. f - Jacob Rice, winner of UCCS’ Last Comic Standing. g - The “Fall Fire” Bonfire in Parking Lot 4. h - Comedian Jake Sharan shows off his tattoo. i - Detail from the bonfire!
b sudoku! (medium)
Carrie Woodruff: a, d, e, h, i Ariel Lattimore: b, c, f, g
d
the first person to bring this completed sudoku will receive 4 tickets to the Haunted Mines!
bottom floor UCenter rm. 106
e
h
i
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campus news
October 15 to October 21, 2009
Student parking (cont.)
Free speech on campus
Continued from page 1 Free parking begins at 4 p.m. on Fridays until 8 a.m. on Mondays. Currently, HUB permits are discounted to $99 and limited passes are at $56 each. After census date, Whitfield reports that 40 HUB permits and 15 to 25 limited passes were still available, after fulfilling over 200 orders from the waitlist. Garcia, who seemed concerned that students parking across the street might be wearing out their welcome, expressed plans from SGA to repay the church for allowing student parking through “some non-religious volunteering.” Despite many residents’ attempts to keep neighbor-
hood streets clear with personally placed “No Parking” signs, students utilize the area wherever it is legal. David Baxter, a UCCS MBA student who also owns two properties across the street from UCCS, expressed concern about the parking situation. “I have had problems in the past. A couple of guys parked halfway through the entrance one time.” Baxter’s biggest concern, however, is not the parking itself, but pedestrian safety. “It’s not the parking, because that’s okay,” said Baxter. “My biggest concern is actually the pedestrians, because they come walking from wherever they park, and there are no walkways
over here. So they have to walk through the street, and other cars speed down the hill like crazy.” Garcia also expressed safety concerns, particularly in regards to the upcoming winter months. “The city is responsible for plowing those roads, and they don’t often do the best job. I can see it being a safety concern, with both accidents and people just falling while walking up or down the hill.” Garcia also expressed a concern for those walking back to their cars at night. “It’s not exactly well lit, and I’ve never seen any police, either campus or city, patrolling the area,” Garcia explained. ◆
UCCS Athletic Scholarships Jessica Vaughan jvaugha2@uccs.edu
UCCS athletics is growing more and more popular as the years progress. The student athletes here at the university are a growing population, partly because they are able to receive financial aid. In the school year of 2008 to 2009, a total of $683,800 was given out in athletic related aid. The money that the student athletes receive comes from various sources. One source is a small endowment of money that the university sets aside for such students. Merit-based scholarships go to athletes who meet certain academic requirements. There is also grant money funds raised from a silent auction and the golf tournament, money that is fundraised by coaches and funds from generous donors
as well. According to Nathan Gibson, the scholarship coordinator, “most of the student athletes at UCCS would not attend this institution without athletics and athletic related financial aid.” These students that are receiving aid have been, “for the most, part highly recruited by other institutions and offered scholarships, but chose UCCS,” according to Gibson. Once here, athletes seem to spend equal amounts of time on the field and in the classroom. The Athletic Department on campus is extremely proud of its student athletes. According to Gibson, student athletes have “maintained a higher overall GPA than that of the rest of the student body over the last ten semesters.” UCCS has 186 student athletes, 148 of which are receiving aid for athletics. According to Gibson, this aid
is important for the maintenance of a quality program. “Athletic aid definitely attracts a much higher level of competitive athlete than without,” Gibson said. None of the athletes, however, receive full ride scholarships. “The only student athletes who received full scholarships were the ones who received other aid,” stated Gibson. While some athletes do receive “full rides,” it is only because they receive other aid unrelated to athletics in addition to athletic scholarships. UCCS holds the athletic program in very high regard. According to Gibson, “There are intrinsic values from participation in athletics that are unique and valuable.” Gibson says the presence of athletics improves the university as a whole, giving more opportunity to participate in campus life, especially since UCCS is a large commuter school. ◆
Annette Cabral signs a petition while Jon Mobeck watches on.
Avalon Manly amanly@uccs.edu
The existence of a free speech zone at UCCS is a widely misunderstood concept that has created somewhat of a stir in light of humanitarian and religious organizations accosting students as they travel across campus. Free speech zones, or space set aside in public places wherein protesters can exercise their constitutional right of free speech, as promised by the First Amendment, were born of anti-war protests in the Vietnam era of the 1960s and ‘70s. Such zones were created initially for the safety of the protesters, whose views were sometimes hotly contested, and later adopted by many universities nationwide in the hopes of preventing political protests from interrupting class time or other campus activities. As war protests began to subside, most universities repealed or revised their zones in the face of lawsuits and student protests against the restricted spaces. Free speech areas experienced somewhat of a revival during the early presidency of George W. Bush – notably at events such as the 2004 Democratic National Con-
vention, where police enforced the barriers of free speech zones, according to CNN – but have dwindled to marginalization over the years. Rumors have abounded about the free speech zone of UCCS, supposedly located within a 15-foot radius of the marble cougar statue in the Lower Plaza of the University Center. On Sept. 7 of last year, just 11 days before Constitution Day, Chancellor Pam Shockley-Zalabak and a selection of college administrators sought to clarify the confusion surrounding who can use the space and when they can use it. “There are no ‘free speech zones’ at [UCCS.] Freedom of speech is a protected constitutional right and it is the university’s obligation to uphold it and other rights that we enjoy as Americans. We unequivocally support the First Amendment,” read an issue of Communique, UCCS’ online newsletter, which was released that day, authored by Shockley-Zalabak and other university administrators. The authors went on to note that most areas on campus require a reservation; the difference about the area around the mountain lion statue is that it is the only space where no scheduling is necessary prior to its use. There is a committee in
Ariel Lattimore
place to review requests for campus space reservations to ensure fairness and viewpoint neutrality in regards to the applicant organization, group or club. A similar committee comprised of staff, faculty and students is in place to to decide which materials will be permitted for free distribution across campus, from fliers to newspapers to charity drives. All persons or groups distributing or requesting student information outside of the statue’s protective radius should first seek the permission of this committee. Furthermore, federal law mandates that such activists openly display their organization’s name. In 2006, AWARE, a feminist campus group advocating gender equality, applied to reserve the Upper Plaza for a club event. Their application was denied and the club was directed to the area around the cougar statue. Communique blamed the incident on “an incorrect interpretation of the facilities use policy,” while Jeff Davis, director of the UC, claimed the denial “lay in the conclusion that the group’s message reflected a political agenda,” according to The Colorado Springs Independent, despite the fact that other politically-oriented groups like the College Republicans had previously held events in the Upper Plaza. ◆
SLC’s 2010 move aims to help accommodate 270 percent increase in visits Phillip Jones pjones2@uccs.edu
The Science Learning Center (SLC) is scheduled to move to the second floor of the Science Building in June of 2010. Dr. Jerry Phillips, director of the SLC, said he was more
than happy with the moving process and emphasized that the IT Department had been”terrific” about sharing their space. He is excited about the move, as it allow the center to better accommodate its users. “We’ll have the space, we’ll have the room,” he stated, where its shares space with the IT Department. The new location will be in the southwest cor-
ner of the Science Building, near the elevator. It will be one and a half times the size of the old SLC, and three times the size of its current location in the library. Three years ago, the SLC saw about 15 to 16 thousand student visits. Last year, it saw about 42 thousand student visits, 300 to 400 every day. The new space should help accom-
modate the SLC’s steadily increasing student visits. “It was always pretty crowded,” said Daniel Torres, a current Biochemistry Master’s student, of the old space before the move. “I think the move will be beneficial to students. There are people surrounding you going through the same stuff with different insights who can share those with you.”
The design for the new location was worked on for about three months. Apart from the increased size, the layout also allows the space used to be much more efficiently, despite the increase in size. Most interestingly to natural science major’s is that the new location will have a dedicated “extra instruction” room, where most EI sessions will be
conducted. The new SLC will also have external windows for the first time in its history, among other improvements and new features. There will be 32 computers in the lab, five more from the previous center. The general tutor room will also hold double the amount of people as did the previous center, totaling about 70 to 75 people. ◆
sports
October 15 to October 21, 2009
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Sports Buzz : Jumping on board the Broncos bandwagon
Matt Crandall mcrandal@uccs.edu
As narrow minded as I have been in the past about our beloved Denver Broncos, I am here to say I am officially on board this season and it’s not just because of their impressive 5-0 start. The Broncos are beginning
to lay down a new foundation that shows promise of Denver making a name and a new identity for themselves. The rash decision that led to the departure of former coach Mike Shanahan left me in a confused and irritated state of mind after last season. Was Shanahan not the man that brought Denver back-to-back Super Bowl titles over a decade ago? How could they let this guy go after all he did to completely overhaul the franchise and eradicate failures Denver had seen in previous decades? The conclusion I came to is that the NFL is like a fast-evolving organism. It changes. It adapts. It evolves. What worked well
then may not work forever and the release of Shanahan, although hard to swallow, was the right move. His departure brought 33-year old Josh McDaniels, a former assistant at New England for eight years practicing under “Jedi-master” Bill Belichick. McDaniels’ Broncos don’t possess anywhere near the amount of firepower he had at New England, but you don’t need to be holding a full-house every hand to win the game. He has been making team adjustments to ensure efficiency at protecting the ball, and maybe Denver’s best asset thus far from an offensive standpoint is the diverse use of personnel. Denver changes up their looks with two tight-ends
on one series and wide-outs spread out all over the place on the next. I like this because it takes redundancy out of the equation and promotes creative extensions towards the playbook. McDaniels is integrating a philosophy that if something isn’t working for a series, a quarter, or even a half, try something different. He isn’t trying to constantly reinvent the wheel, so if one set of tires isn’t moving the offense, he’ll put on another and roll with it. This style is a much needed update to Shanahan’s old school playbook, which reminded me of Denzel Washington’s character, Coach Boone, whose motto in ‘Remember the Titans’ was, “I run six plays, split
1
veer, like Novocaine. Just give it time, always works.” Not anymore, Mike, but we still love you. Denver has their work cut out for them as they head into a possible reality check over their next six games but I remain hopeful for them. They will face powerhouse teams such as the San Diego Chargers, Pittsburg Steelers, Baltimore Ravens, Indianapolis Colts and in a potential game of the season match-up, the New York Giants. Denver will need to bring their early season success and momentum into each game to achieve any victories over some of the NFL’s best. Overall, I like the Broncos this season and what they
1
Sports Shorts
1 Mike English
have to offer. Whether they finish at 12-4 or 9-7, I will be glued to the tube every Sunday to watch these guys. Sure, it’s a rebuilding year with a new coach and new players, but I think Denver is going to stun some people throughout the league. I have faith in newly acquired quarterback Kyle Orton and hope to see him stay with the Broncos for a while. Getting past the disturbing years of quarterbacks Jake Plummer and cry-baby Jay Cutler shouldn’t be hard as long as Orton is given the chance to prove he is the man for the job (hopefully permanently). I am back on the wagon, and don’t plan on getting off anytime soon. ◆
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Goalkeeper Adam Liszewski
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Nicole Pederson
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2 Tavia Hammond
Cindy Bathelt
Cross Country Tom Strandt Memorial Run Oct. 10 at Durango, CO Men: 1st Women: 2nd The UCCS Cross Country team saw success this weekend as it headed out to Durango, CO for the Tom Strandt Memorial Run. The men’s team led the team competition for the first time this year, while the women finished second. Mike English led the men with a time of 27:23 for second place, followed by fourth place Chris Reynolds (27:26), fifth place Sam Feldetto (27:37), sixth place Oliver Williams (27:39) and eighth place Michael Johnson (27:46). The women were led by sixth place Tavia Hammond (25:12), seventh place Kait Frier (25:36), eighth place Alicia Del Pardo (25:43), ninth place Christy Severy (26:13) and fifteenth place Kelsey Barry (26:46). The cross country team runs next at the RMAC Championships Oct. 24 in Denver, CO.
Junior Mike Frieson
Men’s Soccer
(5-6-1, 3-4-1 RMAC) Oct. 11 at Pueblo, CO UCCS 1, CSU-Pueblo 0 Oct. 9 at Mountain Lion Stadium UCCS 3, Colo. Christian 0 The men’s soccer team won two straight last week, improving its RMAC record to 3-4-1 and ending the weekend at fifth place in the RMAC standings. Goalkeeper Adam Liszewski managed to shut out both opponents, taking the pressure off the Mountain Lion offense and allowing UCCS to put away both victories. Sophomore Matt Frieson scored on two assists from Junior Mike Mason against Colorado Christian Friday, while Mason scored the lone goal Sunday against CSUPueblo. The Mountain Lions play this Friday at Regis.
1: Photo courtesy of Doug Fitzgerald 1: Photo courtesy of Doug Fitzgerald 2: Photo courtesy of Doug Fitzgerald 2: Photo courtesy of Doug Fitzgerald
Freshman Kayla Millar
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Women’s Volleyball (12-7, 7-4 RMAC)
Oct. 10 at Lion’s Den UCCS 3, Western State 0 (30-28, 25-22, 25-20) Oct. 9 at Lion’s Den UCCS 3, Adams State 1 (21-25, 25-15, 25-19, 25-19) Oct. 8 at Lion’s Den UCCS 3, CSU-Pueblo 0 (25-14, 25-14, 29-27)
Sophomore Meghan Royer
Women’s Soccer (4-5, 3-5 RMAC)
The volleyball team won three straight last week as the Mountain Lions defeated RMAC rivals CSU-Pueblo, Adams State and Western State in three straight days. Nicole Pederson and Laura Brodie combined for 66 kills throughout the three games. Cindy Bathelt also put together an impressive performance, logging 122 assists and helping the Mountain Lions shut out two opponents in the three game winnings streak.
Oct. 9 at Las Vegas, NM UCCS 1, New Mexico Highlands 0
1: Photo courtesy of Rick Gorham
1: Photo courtesy of Ian Talbot
2: Photo courtesy of Rick Gorham
2: Photo courtesy of Rick Gorham
Goalkeeper Kayla Millar shut out New Mexico Highlands Friday as the women’s soccer team improved its record to 4-5. Sophomore Meghan Royer scored her first goal of the season to help UCCS win its second of the past three matches. Sunday’s game against Regis was postponed tentatively until Oct. 21.
clubs in the community As members of the Colorado Springs community, clubs here at UCCS have the opportunity to do more than just provide entertainment for fellow students. Whether it’s attending and participating in off campus events or reaching out to students on campus, here’s what some of the clubs are doing.
Catherine Jensen (cjensen2@uccs.edu)
participate FREEX hosts monthly Poetry nights, which include live music, open mic poetry and a slam competition. These take place on the first Wednesday of the month, except December, in which it’ll be the second Wednesday at the Warehouse Restaurant and Gallery. Email FREEX at Poetry@uccs.edu to get on their email list and stay posted on future events. Come out to Sigma Tau Delta’s fundraising book sale October 26th through November 6th in the Columbine Atrium! Used books will be sold at prices ranging from $0.25 to $5.00. Further inquiries can be e-mailed to: enghonor@uccs.edu. Anyone interested in participating in Swing Dance events or just coming out to give it a try may contact Andrew Rizzo at arizzo@uccs.edu. Want to get involved in Students for Sensible Drug Policy? Contact Stephanie Morphet at smorphet@uccs.edu.
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student perspectives
“People keep coming back; people keep asking what we’re doing next. It’s been beyond what we could’ve ever imagined. We are by no means doing this by ourselves nor [are we able to]. There’s a lot of work to be done in this town and I’m so thankful for the amazing people that have guided us through this…[we hope] to bring poetry and self expression into the arena of relevance in today’s rational world.”–Miguel Huerta, FREEX “As English majors and individuals with interests in the English language, we are inspired by the satisfaction of promoting the beauty of the English language outside of our group, especially to underprivileged recipients. Not only does community involvement directly address our purpose, but it also offers us the opportunity to share our love for the English language with individuals outside the college environment, with potentially underprivileged individuals, and with equal-minded students. It is extremely rewarding to promote your organization and UCCS with it, outside campus.”-Carmen McCue, Sigma Tau Delta “The only way to truly get better is to dance with all kinds of people who are better than you. The only way to meet better dancers is to travel around. A lot of people are familiar with UCCS and are glad to hear we have our own club.”-Andy Rizza, Lindy Lions Swing Dance “Don’t be afraid to step out of your bubble. If it feels uncomfortable it’s probably worthwhile. It takes a lot of independence and courage to get out there and do things, but the results are always positive.”-Jessica McCosby, Lindy Lions Swing Dance “Community involvement is how you get the word out. We can complain all we want, but for the current state of affairs to change, we must get out there and make our opinions heard.Getting involved is both a fun and fulfilling experience” -Stephanie Morphet, SSDP “We want to be open-minded business professionals who are not just interested in running our business, but making a positive impact with civic welfare. Community involvement is so much more than giving up a couple hours to help an organization. It impacts lives. Service has a huge impact on my life personally. When an individual goes out into the community, it builds their character and personality.”-Sam Henry, Delta Sigma Pi
(TOP) Antonio Guerrero reads poetry Sigma Tau Delta met for their monthl Jesse McCosby and Amos Rose dan (BOTTOM) Sigma Dilta Pi volunteered
y in a FREEx hosted event. Kevin Kassem ly meeting to discuss their upcoming book drive. Kiley Card nce in the Lindy Lions Swing Dance Club. Kiley Card d at the Special Olympics, Saturday October 10. Kiley Card
what events have some clubs held? Free Expression Poetry Club On Oct. 2 The Free Expression Poetry Club (FREEX) read at the Smokebrush Art Gallery for the opening night of the Desde Mi Altura exhibit for the Cuban Five prisoner turned artist/poet Antonio Guerrero. Well known poet Jimmy Santiago Baca was there reading Guerrero’s work. Several student poets read at this event. “Despite the fact that we were outside in a tent and it was fairly cold, we had a good sized die-hard audience and a great opportunity to introduce ourselves to a strong arts community that we look forward to working with again soon,” Club Chair Miguel Huerta said. FREEX is currently working with art galleries, other poetry groups, musical acts, schools and UCCS faculty to bring people together, according to Huerta. In the future, Huerta said, the group will work with the Justice and Peace Commission in Colorado Springs, as well as faculty poets and poets in the Colorado Springs community.
Sigma Tau Delta The Alpha Iota Iota Chapter of Sigma Tau Delta is an English International Honors Society. Currently, the group is organizing a fundraising book sale that will be held Oct. 26 through Nov. 6 in the Columbine Atrium. The group has held similar sales in the past, the proceeds of which went to providing scholarships for the cost of books to local middle schools’ “Battle of the Books” event. The group also made donations to the Pikes Peak Children’s Literacy Program to buy new books, and to teaching programs for local grade school teachers. This year, the English club plans on becoming involved in tutoring programs for high school students, and supporting adult literacy programs in the community, according to President Carmen McCue. She said, “The purpose of Sigma Tau Delta is to foster all aspects of the discipline of English, including literature, language, and writing; to promote exemplary character and good fellowship among its members and to serve society by fostering literacy within our community.”
Lindy Lions Swing Dance Club Every Sunday night the Lindy Lions Swing Dance club on campus invites students and club members to go downtown to attend “Swing in the Springs,” Colorado Springs’ premier swing venue. Here participants can take classes and become more active in the swing community, said vice president Jessica McCosby. The club also carpools to dance events in various locales from the Air Force Academy to Denver, and has even attended events as far away as Fort Collins. The group recently attended the ten year anniversary of “Swing in the Springs,” and, according to club president Andy Rizzo, plans to attend the Halloween Ball at the Turnverin Cultural Center in Denver this October. Last year the club sent a dance team to the Intercollegiate Swing Battle, and plans to do so again this year. Rizzo said, “The Swing Battle is an event that brings together dancers from all over the Rocky Mountain Region. Last year teams included UCCS, CU, UNC, CSU, Mines, USAFA, UNM and UW. The UCCS team included students from UCCS, PPCC, and CC.”
Delta Sigma Pi - Mu Chi Chapter This semester Delta Sigma Pi-Mu Chi Chapter, a Business Fraternity on campus, has participated in Race for the Cure and assisted with the Lutheran Family Services Annual Innkeeper Dinner held at the Air Force Academy. On Oct. 10 the group assisted Special Olympics of Colorado with a volleyball tournament held in Colorado Springs. The group plans to participate in a couple events this year in Denver, including the Diabetes Walk and visiting Little Sisters of the Poor. In addition, the group is planning on holding a workshop for a local youth services organization on simple business practices, according to vice president Sam Henry. Later in the semester, Henry said, Delta Sigma Pi will be hosting a book drive benefiting the Books For Third World organization, a not-for-profit organization dedicated to collecting, shipping and distributing books to benefit the educational development of those in developing countries. “We want to continue to grow our presence in the community and continue to truly make a difference in the community of Colorado Springs,” he expressed.
Students for a Sensible Drug Policy Students for a Sensible Drug Policy (SSDP): “mobilizes and empowers young people to participate in the political process, pushing for sensible policies to achieve a safer and more just future, while fighting back against counterproductive Drug War policies, particularly those that directly harm students and youth,” stated club president Stephanie Morphet. Thus far, SSDP has looked at the Higher Education Act (HEA), according to Morphet. The federal law establishes that if it discovered that a student has any amount of any drug (including cannabis), on their person, the student will permanently lose their financial aid. “Many of our members, along with thousands of other SSDP-ers across the country, called our representative to tell them why the HEA is doing. [We believe this is] more harm than good… we won the battle and the harm done by the HEA is thus far minimized, though not yet abolished,” stated Morphet on the groups recent activism. The group also has been working closely with Trichome Health Consultants. Recently SSDP participated in a grow class hosted by Trichome Health Consultants and plans to tour their facilities (hopefully with media coverage) in the near future.
8
culture
October 15 to October 21, 2009
UCCS bands jammin’ locally
Grant Sabin and the Revelators play at Jack Quinn’s.
Halo ODST: No game of the year
Brock Kilgore
Brock Kilgore bkilgore@uccs.edu
My bass player-friend Jeremy, whose band I formerly managed and lived with in a school bus on the road for a while, wrote a senior thesis for the philosophy department at UCCS called, “If God exists, then he is a bass player.” I believe in bass, and if God really is slapping a stand-up, then even better. Current UCCS student Grant Sabin and his band The Revelators have one of the best bassists I’ve ever seen. Sabin is a young guitar and harmonica master who began playing at 13 and has since emerged from the Manitou scene. Feeling as I do about bass guitar, I was overly enthusiastic when I saw Andrew Koken carrying his stand-up bass into Jack Quinn’s last Friday night. Rounding out the trio is Hans Schopen on drums. All three are seriously talented musicians, but when jamming together, the whole becomes more than just the sum of the parts. Sabin describes their music as “rootsy rock/ folk / blues,” and I would add only that you might expect a cartoon dog blowing into a liquor jug to accompany them on the back porch. Their music is polished while appearing unrehearsed, danceable and fun while drinking a pint or two. Sabin traces musical influences “from Public Enemy to Robert Johnson,” with heavy doses of “Son House,
Ben Harper, Morphine, Howlin Wolf and Nirvana.” Bassist Koken is a third generation Coloradan, while Sabin moved here at three years old. Drummer Schopen hails from Hawaii. Sabin says, “I don’t care if they’re young, old, black, white or purple. If they got ears, they’re my intended audience.” They play every Wednesday night at Nosh and have upcoming shows at Kinfolks in Manitou on October 31st, and at Thunder and Buttons II in Old Colorado City on Nov. 28 and Dec. 17. Speaking of God and music, Michael Thigpen and his band Doubtful Sound are UCCS and PPCC students who are interested in spreading the word. Thigpen describes their music as “alternative rock with a touch of indie-folk.” Doubtful Sound’s list of influences is extensive and includes Death Cab for Cutie, Coldplay, the Verve and Radiohead. Thee band plays soulful acoustic ballads from the heart. Doubtful Sound recently played a show at local Colorado Springs venue The Black Sheep (where these and other local bands can be found) and plans to gig more soon. All three hail from Monument and all three are intellectually involved in Christianity. Thigpen plays guitar and has written most of the music, Alex plays bass and Gil is drumming right now, but may have to move to Boulder soon for school. Quality music is being written and played by UCCS students; let’s get out there and support them. ◆
Halo 3: ODST PC version game cover art.
Phillip Jones pjones@uccs.edu
“Halo 3: ODST” is an interesting affair. Just so you know, ODST stands for “Orbital Drop Shock Trooper.” It should be known that in this latest installment of the Halo franchise, you do not play as Master Chief. You are an elite marine, the best of the best, but no Spartan. Therefore, there is no dual wielding and no shields. The game play is nothing new. In fact, it feels a lot like the first Halo game. However, some alterations change the style of play needed. In the old games, you could run into a firefight screaming and blasting away, but because of the lack of shields and dual wielding, the new game forces you to become more tactical. You need to think about your movements and where health packs are located so you don’t die right away. The weaponry also feels like the first Halo. For example, the pistol is once again one of the most powerful weapons in the game.
One aspect I really enjoyed about the game was that it took place on Earth. I remember when Halo 2 came out, everyone was raving because, you know, the Covenant is on Earth! Whoa! But then you only spent one level on Earth, and then, hello space. For ODST, you spend the entire time fighting Covenant. On Earth. The concept of defending your home turf in a more literal and concrete way seems much more exciting. However, the campaign is very short, about six hours’ worth of game play. As many gamers have put it, this is just another map pack for Halo 3, for which it can be used. And I agree. This should not have been a standalone game. It would have done just fine as an expansion for Halo 3. Overall, this is a good game, fun and interesting for what it is, but it won’t be game of the year. Oh, and for all you nerds and geeks out there (myself included), does the name Nathan Fillion ring any bells? He voices the main character in ODST. Yeah. You get to play as Captain Mal. ◆
culture
October 15 to October 21, 2009
Spooked in the Springs: Local haunts
9
Jackie Parkinson
Avalon Manly
jparkins@uccs.edu
amanly@uccs.edu We’ve all heard the story about the 13-floor haunted house in Denver that’s so utterly terrifying that the Bronco’s couldn’t make it to the top floor. The house that swears if you make it all the way through, you will be refunded the outrageous price of your ticket. You know, the house where you have to sign waivers before you enter, because the journey involves things like live spiders and potentially harmful projectiles or pitfalls. Maybe such a place actually exists. If it does, though, this reporter couldn’t find it. But all hope is not lost. If you’re seeking a place to experience fear this Halloween, the Springs is riddled with seasonally haunted locales to get the adrenaline pumping.
Main Hall and Cragmor Hall are reportedly hauntedbuildings. A perfect visit for a dorm-bound student.
Haunted Mines
225 North Gate Road, 80921 (719) 488-0880 Tickets: $15 Fri-Sat, $13 Sun-Thurs; FastPasses and military discounts available Open Fri, Sat and Sun through Oct. 25, then Oct. 25-31 at 7 p.m. Opened on the site of the haunted McDygut Mine, where, circa 1840, owner Jeremiah McDygut, paranoid that his miners were stealing his gold, allegedly buried all his workers alive. The story goes that he later plummeted to his death when the lift elevator malfunctioned. This Halloween expedition doesn’t actually go underground; rather, it wanders a haunted labyrinth constructed on the grounds for the seasonal purpose. Not recommended for children less than 12 years of age.
Mind Seizure
5225 E. Platte Ave., 80915 (719) 302-5605 Tickets: $15; FastPasses available Open selected days in September and October and Oct. 22 to 31 at 7 p.m. The oldest haunt in the Springs, this house is a self-described “intense interactive theatrical production,” complete with props, effects, actors, costume and soundscape, according to mindseizure.com. The house is accompanied by an “immersive optical illusion” called the Nightmare Machine. Professing origins in a complicated story of twisted medical origin and located in the Flea Market, this house is not advised for children younger than 12. Group rates are offered.
Town of Terror
County Line Road 3A, Manitou Springs (719) 275-5485
Tickets: $17 Open 7 p.m. selected nights throughout October
They say nothing’s scarier than the real thing. Take a nocturnal tour of Buckskin Joe, an abandoned town in the Colorado foothills, its houses, theaters, hotels and barns, some of which carry a grisly history of being sites for public execution or corpse storage while waiting for burial. Hauntedratings.com claims the haunt is “isolated from city noise and lights… where no one will hear you scream.” The warning is labeled, simply, “Not for the faint of heart.” If you’re up for a drive, Denver and the surrounding towns offer considerably more options for frightful festivities. There’s The 13th Door, The Butcher, Curse of Slaughterhouse Gulch, The 25th Hour, Asylum, Bloodshed, Spider Mansion, Field of Corpses and The Haunted Forest, just to name a few. Even Elitch’s has Frightfest, their nocturnal rendition of Denver’s famous theme park. Visit hauntedratings.com for more information. ◆
We get it, Miley. You have deleted your Twitter and we can no longer follow your every thought. It’s OK though; you’ll just blog and YouTube your every thought and wish in more detail for us to hear. Your final tweet reads, “You all are the closest thing to my heart & it breaks my spirit to hear that some of you feel neglected since I deleted my twitter.” Kanye West chose to pull a no-show at the BET awards; he said that...oh wait, he didn’t say anything. He was nominated for nine awards and forfeited to his main contender, T.I., who was also unable to accept the awards since he was being held on a federal weapons charge in an Arkansas prison. Among others in jail this week is Soulja Boy, on a charge of obstruction. He reportedly left an abandoned house where 40 of his close friends were practicing the “Crank That” dance after Atlanta cops showed up to bust the underager’s rager. While Soulja Boy had successfully escaped, he realized he had left his white pimped out Range Rover behind. When cops stopped him, he used his fleeting charm to convince them that he was just shooting his next music video. Not amused, the cops a rested him for turning his swag on. At least they both have better judgment than to punch their doctors, like the Hoff. David Hasselhoff, the “America’s Got Talent” judge and former “Baywatch” cast member (if you can remember that far back), left Simon Cowell’s birthday party in an obviously drunken rage that he will never amount to Simon’s wit or charm, and went after his assistant for calling a doctor to save him from alcohol poisoning, but missed and instead hit the doctor caring for him. Despite the doctor’s subsequent reluctance to treat the out-of-control star, the Hoff managed to survive. ◆
Facebook users have lower grades Randy Robinson rrobinso@uccs.edu
A recent study concluded that Facebook users receive lower grades than non-users. According to ResearchNews.com, Facebook users averaged 3.0 to 3.5 for their GPAs; non-users averaged 3.5 to 4.0. Aryn Karpinski, a doctoral candidate at the University of Ohio who conducted the study, stated that she wasn’t sure what the relation was, but in a Time. com interview she suggested, “Maybe [Facebook users] are prone to distraction. Maybe they are just procrastinators.” Some worry about the validity of the study’s findings, concerned that instead of drawing real connections, the results are rather lessthan stable correlations. There are several worrying aspects in the study that might damage widespread acceptance of its results. First, there’s the study’s sample size. The total number of students studied was a little over 200: 148 were Facebook users, 71 were non-users. The US Census Bureau tallies 15.9 million
Americans currently enrolled in college. A sample of 200 students means that approximately one thousandth of a percent of America’s college students was considered for this study. Second, within the overall spread of possible GPA’s, either average cited by the study is acceptable at most colleges. A GPA of 4.0 is a perfect score, and most college students cannot maintain this grade. A GPA of 2.0 is the lowest acceptable GPA at most colleges and universities, meaning that the median GPA would lay around 3.0. In other words, the nationwide median GPA is 3.0, so one could say that this study has only verified what’s already known: most people maintain an average GPA. Third, considering the amount of time and energy most students dedicate to social networking sites like Facebook, it would stand to reason that those who do not use such sites have time and energy to spare for other pursuits – perhaps namely, schoolwork. If this is the case, of course such people receive better grades; they spend much time studying that other students spend facebooking. . Senior Lee Overmann
does not have a Facebook account. “It’s not that I feel it would distract me from my studies; I manage my time pretty well,” she says. “It’s not that I’m not technologically savvy. I find [Facebook] intellectually lightweight and just don’t see the attraction in it.” Overmann explains that if she were to sign up for an account, she’d be worried that she would be hooked: “And I don’t need to spend more time on the computer,” she says, laughing. But she adds, “My son, who’s 22 -- things like that distract him.” Students with Facebook open on their browsers in the library reacted most often with offense at the question of whether their GPAs might be higher if they didn’t have accounts, or if Facebook provided a substantial distraction to their studies. Many refused to give their names. Because the circumstances of the study are confronted with obstacles of such varying degrees, the results should not yet be considered fully conclusive; though there is little question of whether at least a correlation exists between GPAs and the amount of time students spend on social networking. ◆
10 opinion
October 15 to October 21, 2009
Facebook’s free, slightly annoying personal shopper
Erica Doudna edoudna@uccs.edu
The internet, like television, is an entertaining advertisement mill. Nowadays, I’m sure even grade school students understand the concept that the more popular a website or television show is, the more companies are going to want to advertise around it. Unfortunately, the internet didn’t go the way of Super Bowl Sunday. Since the Super Bowl is
one of the most watched televised events in our country, the advertisements are better and funnier, and we hold them to a higher standard. One girl I know got semiexcited about watching the Super Bowl with her boyfriend last year, and she told me, “I’m there for the commercials, and hopefully a scandalous halftime show. I’ve got my laptop, so I’ll be editing my MySpace during the actual game.” But unlike the Super Bowl, which has nowhere near as many viewers as social networks have users, sites like MySpace and Facebook fail to have amusing and engaging advertisements. The other day I was actually at a computer and logged into my MySpace profile, an amusing distraction that I haven’t had time for in a while. The first
things I noticed were the advertisements. With the hectic beginnings of midterms approaching, I’ve just been keeping up with my BlackBerry applications, and those are advertisement-free. But after being logged in for the first time in a long while, I took notice of the advertisements, but probably only because there were three advertisements for weight loss products. Brazilian acai, hoodia, and “Are you fat!?” were bombarding my personal billboard space. My only reaction was, “Hey Tom, why do you think I’m fat!?” I was talking about it all day and to any unfortunate soul who would listen. I’d say, “MySpace thinks I need to lose a few; does your page constantly try and sell you miracle diet pills!?” The answer I usually got was no. I absolutely had to figure
out why MySpace thinks I’m fat. After about 10 minutes of lying awake in bed that night, it came to me in a vision. I envisioned this grouchy computer nerd sitting there in the sad glow of his monitor screen thinking, “Well…if she were thin, she’d proudly proclaim it in her stats. Let’s try and sell this insecure girl some hoodia.” Most of my friends fill out the details section, but the only people I know who display “More to love!” as their body type have an abundance of personality to love. I’ve never actually had a big-boned friend select the “More to love!” option as his or her body type. Personally, I leave my details section without many answers (no stranger needs to know how tall I am, how I would define my body type, and whether or not I drink
and smoke), and because of this, what I’m now calling the “advertising engine,” assumes that I am overweight. The advertising engine works in mysterious ways, but on Facebook it is much simpler and less insulting. Facebook has been trying to get me to buy a “Big Lebowski” t-shirt for years. A while back it was urging me to buy the new Death Cab for Cutie album, and yesterday it was enticing me to check out some new singles matchmaking site. From what my simple mind can gather, someone decided to design a program that scans all the words and information on your profile, and after creating a list of key words for advertisements, the program then matches the ads to the words on your profile; the end result being advertisements targeted to your very own personal
tastes that display just for you. The social network advertising engine is effectively your very own free personal shopper, but it’s quite unfortunate that we can’t have reciprocal conversations with this personal shopper. If the advertising engine came to life, and manifested itself consumer-savvy self as a really chic lady trying to get me to buy everything I’ve never had the foresight to want to buy on my own, I would tell her, “Well lady, if I wanted to lose weight I’d buy a gym membership. I won’t be caught dead in a t-shirt I didn’t find at Urban Outfitters. Thanks for letting me know there is a new Death Cab album — I’ll steal the popular tracks off Limewire later, and about that matchmaking service …I don’t think so.” ◆
Truth Bombs : Obama’s Gay Rights Record
Byron Graham bgraham2@uccs.edu Last weekend, President Barack Obama addressed the Human Rights Council (HRC), the nation’s largest lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and trans-gendered (LGBT) advocacy group, at the council’s Annual National Dinner. During his speech, Obama renewed the commitments to equal rights he made during the 2008 presidential campaign. Calling for an end to the Clinton administration’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, the president described his participation with military leaders and alluded future congressional legislation to overturn the obsolete and discriminatory law banning homosexual men and women from serving openly. Another Clintonera debacle currently under revision is the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which expressly defines marriage as an institution that exists solely between
one man and one woman. These revisions are long overdue, but seem like legal battles whose time before lawmakers has yet to arrive. Closer to fruition are new provisions in Employee Non-Discrimination Acts (EDNA) and Hate Crimes legislation to include federal protection for LGBT victims. If the C-SPAN coverage of the speech is any indication, the audience appreciated Obama’s words, and, indeed, the mere fact that the commander-in-chief personally solicited support from a gay rights organization is progress in and of itself. Oh, and Lady Gaga performed. However, many prominent voices from the gay community have sharpened their criticism of the man who courted their votes so broadly during the campaign. In fact, tens of thousands of gay rights activists gathered at a protest outside the HRC on Saturday and a rally around the capitol on Sunday, imploring the president to deliver on his campaign promises. Sunday’s National Equality march saw celebrities like Charlize Theron and James Franco, as well as civil rights leaders such as Cleve Jones, air their grievances with the president’s relative inaction
surrounding LGBT issues, emphasizing their continued support of the Obama administration with the expressed caveat that said support won’t be sustained by rhetoric alone. Where does the discord spring from? Barack Obama is without question the most progressive advocate for gay rights to ever occupy the Oval Office. All signs indicate that the dawning of a new era in American inclusiveness is rapidly approaching, and compared to Bill Clinton and George W. Bush, Barack Obama seems like a big gay beacon of hope for freedom. While it’s certainly unfair to ask good people fighting for equal protection under the law to wait patiently for the rights straight Americans take for granted, why have these protestors focused so intently on the shortcomings of the one president to take their causes seriously? The rumblings arise out of the Obama administration’s facilitation of discriminatory laws and failure to generate sufficient momentum among lawmakers to overturn them. During the first year of Obama’s presidency, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policies have ousted talented, dedicated soldiers, leaders in their respective fields, from the active service in the mil-
itary merely because they refuse to lie about who they are and how they love. “While Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is a federal law enacted by Congress and neither the president nor the military can force representatives into its reversal, Obama is not entirely ineffectual in this regard. The president can issue a stop-loss order to prevent the military from discharging these soldiers, but thus far hasn’t. He sup-
ports the extension of some marriage rights to homosexual couples, but won’t make the full commitment to endorse legalizing gay marriage. Barack Obama is undoubtedly the most pro-gay president in American history, but the bar he reached was set tragically low. By campaigning directly to the gay and lesbian community, President Obama engaged a demographic heretofore
ignored by the mainstream political process. He also extended benefits to the partners of federal workers and appointed openly gay leaders in some prestigious positions in his cabinet. While these efforts are appreciated, the breadth of injustice endured by gay Americans reflects unfavorably on the inherent inequities of our system, and change cannot come fast enough.◆
Top Ten Scribe Staff
Overused words and phrases
10 9
Wtf? You confusion is already splattered across your stupid face. No need to verbally express it.
paradox paradox satire : irony : hilarity
the news is full of contradictions
the
the
the news is full of contradictions
satire : irony : hilarity
The Smile Offensive: Positivity gone wrong By Rosa Byun [gbyun@uccs.edu]
Really, really now? Typically used in keyboard conversations, this phrase turns its intended incredulity not at its target, but instead at its author for his or her lack of grammatical skills.
8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Fml. A favorite of Pi Phis and Phi Sigs, this term cues everyone that it is time to stop listening and find something better to do. Elipsis. More of a phrase substitution, really … because you’re never really sure what it’s supposed to mean … or if it in fact signifies an inability to think … Socialist. Barack Obama is a socialist. Nobody knows why, but if Joe the Plumber said it ... (see number 7) Free-rider. We get it, professor. We need to “work with our groups” to get credit for our project and we can screw over the non-contributors on those awesome peer evaluations. Because those count for so much of our grade. Father’s crotch. Inside joke, don’t ask. But never use these two words together. Ever. Moist. Invocative of private matters, this word is unnecessary, and easily replaced by damp, dank, clammy – pick up a dictionary and try your luck. Epic. Beowulf and King Arthur were epic. Crashing a skateboard or a dirtbike into a wall is not. It’s stupid. I know, right? No, you don’t. I said it, therefore I know: You are an acquiescent sheep.
An anonymous student recovers after the Smile Offensive. Last Wednesday, a group of thirty students, including optimistic SGA President Daniel Garcia and the president of OSA Michelle Kissler, launched a positive reinforcement campaign they cheerily named “The Smile Offensive.” Bright yellow t-shirts designating the “Happy Crew” bobbed through the massed crowds of students, urging goodwill. The Smile Offensive, which lasted from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m., used the combined forces of SGA and OSA to “spread the good news.” Garcia, skipping joyously while chanting the slogan “Good job UCCS, keep up the good work,” stated that he wished to “bring some positivity into this gloomy space!” Armed with megaphones and large stacks of positive handouts, the grouped SGA/OSA members roamed campus to “bring a smile to all of your faces!” The Happy Crew gave themselves free reign to roam the campus while shouting “Great job,” “Excellent” and “Have a wonderful, fantastic day” into the open doors of classrooms. However, students found that the relentless compliments had a paradoxically negative effect. The Scribe Executive Editor Jackie Parkinson stated, “I can’t stand all of this happy-golucky stuff.” She then turned to storm out of the room while mumbling “gloomy, gloomy, sad, sad” under her breath. Other students shared the same opinion of
Carrie Woodruff
the Offensive. Senior Mike Jaded found the praise overly excessive: “My God! The Smile Offensive was well named, I feel like I’m under attack everywhere! Give me some negativity!” Grades fell sharply on tests taken during the Smile Offensive, as did the scores at local sports games. The Economics Department stated that the statistics were inconclusive, as low grades and losing sports scores were the norm this time of year. Professors echoed student complaints. Psychology professor Ned Humdrum was found Thursday after “The Smile Offensive” in fetal position in his office. Workers from the Counseling Center continue to urge Humdrum to “come out of the closet” to face his new fear of the color yellow. “It was too much happy,” Humdrum stated from his closet, “Just too much. There’s too much hope in the world. I cannot face it.” Professor Jill Hill complained of increased noise levels due to the influx of laughter and overall feeling of well being of the Happy Crew in her classes. “I had to cancel class due to the noise. This was an unacceptable level of positivity. I am pursuing motions to ban future Smile Offensives to protect us all.” The school administration had no comment on the issue, but did acknowledge the coming legal action against the Happy Crew by Professor Hill. J
“Still, if a statement cannot reasonably be interpreted to be one of express or implied fact, it cannot be libelous. This means that humor columns, spoofs, cartoons and satire are protected as long as readers understand that the material is not intended to be taken seriously.” - Student Press Law Center
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