Single Parenting - Support Needed

“There is a high and increasing proportion of single-parent families in Jamaica. This has raised concerns about the potential impact of single-parent families on the social, cognitive and behavioral development of children, including their sexual relationships.” These words from the opening of the publication of research conducted by Cambridge University Press in 2016. The study found that 41% of Jamaican families are single-parent families.[1] Regionally

(Caribbean), one source describes the phenomenon as being at a higher level. Forty-eight percent of black Caribbean families have one parent, as do 36 percent of black African households.[2] The situation in the United States is relatively similar, with one researcher reporting it at 33%.[3] Across Atlantic Britain’s stats are closer to 50%, according to the same source for the Caribbean’s numbers. With all of the above said, in my view, the more significant statistic for the purposes of this article is this: Nine out of ten single-parent families are headed by mothers.

That aspect of the data is being singled out because of what the research is consistently pointing towards in terms of the ways in which the effects of single parenting on children become exacerbated by the absence of fathers. This article seeks to raise the challenges of single parenting with a special focus on that factor in the hope of reconnecting the hearts of our men to the children and igniting a burden in the heart of the men of the church towards spiritual fathering, mentoring, and discipleship.

Single parents face myriad obstacles, not the least of which are:

Shelter: Lone-parent families are three times more likely to live in rented accommodation than couples with children and are also more likely to live in homes that fall below minimum standards.

Poverty: Single-parent families are far more vulnerable to economic hardships than couple-led families. ‘Having just one income is likely to affect the child. ‘It is also likely the parent is going to have to work longer hours so it minimizes important contact between parent and child.[4]

A full list of the challenges of single parenting would read like a list of side effects for one of the TV medication advertisements:

• Coping with loss (of a partner, lover, friend, and fellow parent) • Battling societal prejudice and stigma of single-parent homes and care-giving • Maintaining self-confidence in the eyes and judging of others (stereotyping) • Feelings of doubt, low self-esteem, and inadequacy • Balancing effective parenting with career (work/home) life • Assuming additional roles and responsibilities (being everything to everyone) • Enabling and Adjusting to the new role and circumstances • Dealing and coping with own emotions and changed condition • Dealing with the rest of the family, stepfamily, new romantic interests, dating and support networks[5] • Visitation and custody problems. • The effects of the continuing conflict between the parents. • Less opportunity for parents and children to spend time together. • Effects of the breakup on children’s school performance and peer relations. • Disruptions of extended family relationships. • Problems caused by the parents’ dating and entering new relationships.

A careful examination of the above reveals a common thread, the ripple effect of the absence of fathers from the family structure. Apart from these matters arising there is much more to be said about that deficit in and of itself. Stephan Baskerville of Howard University has expressed; that “Virtually every major pathology has been linked to fatherlessness. Violent crime, drug and alcohol abuse, teen pregnancy, suicide – all correlate more strongly to fatherlessness than any other single factor.” The authors of, The World Needs A Father, a manual for addressing fatherlessness indicate that recent research concludes that dysfunctional family life is the biggest problem in the world and fatherlessness is at the center of the problem.

Understanding the complex situation faced by single-parent families is an important first step. If we are convinced that the family is an institution established by God and that in God’s scheme of things the family is designed to be the first building block of every society it should mean that we are prepared to follow God’s guidelines as we make every effort to support those in such situations.

I submit to us that we need a corporate and individual commitment to reaching out to such families. Start with just one of the challenges highlighted here and find practical solutions. I suspect we each know of at least one such family. What will you do to help? Reach out to one such family and forge a partnership of support.

By Teddy A. Jones Public Theologian, Author and Life Coach

1. https://globalvoices.org/2020/05/27/has-covid19-worsened-or-improved-jamaican-familydynamics/ 2. https://metro.co.uk/2007/04/10/race-divideon-single-parents-251523/ 3. https://childdevelopmentinfo.com/familyliving/single-parenting-challenges-rewards/#gs. bh2ihr 4. Michael Scanlan. https://metro. co.uk/2007/04/10/race-divide-on-single-parents-251523/ 5. https://childdevelopmentinfo.com/familyliving/single-parenting-challenges-rewards/#gs. bh2ihr | Child Development Institute