The Sheaf - October 3, 2013

Do strips clubs belong in Saskatchewan?

OPINIONS 12

THE sheaf

10 October, 2013 • The University of Saskatchewan student newspaper since 1912

Students beware: internet scam targets university community NEWS 2

Huskies football team couldn’t knock the Dinos from Canada West throne.

SPORTS 5

The No-No’s improv troupe begin new season.

CULTURE 7

U of S med school put on probation ANNA-LILJA DAWSON Prairies and Northern Bureau Chief

SASKATOON (CUP) — The University of Saskatchewan’s College of Medicine has been put on probation for a second time, as anticipated by the university’s president.

U of S President Ilene Busch-Vishniac said the implementation plan the university has come up with to remedy its accreditation issues fully took into account what the accrediting committees have been discussing.

“The reality is that we were well aware that there were issues that were problematic for accreditation. We are not surprised by the decision that has come down,” Busch-Vishniac said.

On Oct. 4, the Committee on Accreditation of Canadian Medical Schools/Liaison Committee on Medical Education (CACMS/LCME) informed the college that the Undergraduate Medical Education program will be placed on “Accreditation with Probation.”

The College of Medicine is Saskatchewan’s only medical school and is the first in Canada to be put on probation twice.

Busch-Vishniac assured the campus community in an Oct. 4 press release that despite the status of probation, the college is still accredited.

“Our College of Medicine remains fully accredited,” Busch-Vishniac wrote.

“Restructuring the medical college has been my top priority since arriving, and this latest development makes it even clearer that the restructuring of the College of Medicine remains a most critical priority.”

A medical school or program that has its accreditation withdrawn or is put on probation by the LCME must inform all students that are seeking enrolment, have accepted enrolment and that are currently enrolled.

While on probation, programs are subject to withdrawal of their accreditation if the issues of noncompliance are not addressed within a period of 24 months.

Dan Hunt, co-secretary and senior director of accreditation services for the Association of American Medical Colleges, said that probation

JORDAN DUMBA/PHOTO EDITOR

Students need not worry, the doors to the College of Medicine will remain open despite the handing down of probationary status from accreditors. will not have any direct negative effects on students or graduates.

Students “will be graduating from a fully accredited medical school that happens to be on probation. They have every other right that every other Canadian and U.S. student has that has LCME accreditation. They’ll be recognized as coming from an LCME-accredited school, albeit one on probation, but a fully accredited status so they have all the rights and privileges.”

However, Hunt said withdrawal of a school’s accreditation is an extremely negative and rare event.

“It is probably reasonable to note that in the 75-year existence of the LCME there has never

been a withdrawal of accreditation from an existing school,” Hunt said.

The College of Medicine has been dealing with issues of accreditation since 2002, when it was put on probation until 2006 for reasons such as outdated curriculum and lack of student diversity.

Since March of 2011, the college has been working on correcting 10 shortcomings that the CACMS said would need to be rectified if the college wished to maintain its accreditation.

Of the 10 issues, the arrangement of teaching duties, clinical rotations, inadequate study space at the satellite campus in Regina and the timeframe in which students received their final

grades were all major concerns.

At that time, the college was given until early 2013 to rectify all of the outstanding issues or it would have been put on probation.

In March of this year, accreditors returned to the U of S to re-evaluate the College of Medicine’s progress.

The college has been dealing with a great imbalance between clinical work and research.

This March, the Sheaf reported that BuschVishniac said that nearly 100 of the college’s nearly 250 faculty members are working solely on their clinical practice.

Med school • Continued on page 4

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NEWS

THE sheaf Editor-in-Chief: HenryTye Glazebrook, editor@thesheaf.com Production Manager: Samantha Braun, layout@thesheaf.com Senior News Editor: Anna-Lilja Dawson, news@thesheaf.com Associate News Editor: Scott Davidson, associatenews@thesheaf.com Photography Editor: Jordan Dumba, photo@thesheaf.com Graphics Editor: Cody Schumacher, graphics@thesheaf.com Culture Editor: Nicholas Kindrachuk, arts@thesheaf.com Sports Editor: Kim Hartwig, sports@thesheaf.com

Opinions Editor: Travis Homenuk, opinions@thesheaf.com Copy Editor: Christine Warner, copy@thesheaf.com Web Editor: Carter Bryden, web@thesheaf.com Ad & Business Manager: Shantelle Hrytsak, ads@thesheaf.com Board of Directors: Pete Yee, Matt Chilliak, Jenna Mann, Dan LeBlanc Index Photo: Jordan Dumba/Photo Editor

Online scam targets U of S SCOTT DAVIDSON Associate News Editor

University of Saskatchewan Protective Services notified the Sheaf on Sept. 30 of a website scam using U of S information.

The website is currently the subject of a cooperative investigation between Protective Services and Information and Communications Technology Security. The investigation is not considered to be criminal at this point.

The persons behind the website falsely

10 October, 2013 • thesheaf.com

impersonated someone from the U of S in an effort to attempt to fraudulently gain services and information from the university community and its business partners.

It is not currently known who is behind the website.

According to ICT Security Director Lawrence Dobranski, the website was “a modern version of an old scam.” In the past, crooks would impersonate others using business cards or official letterheads. But as the internet has grown in prevalence, these scams have become more complex.

Office Numbers: Advertising 966-8688 Editorial 966-8689

The Sheaf is non-profit, incorporated and studentbody funded by way of a direct levy paid by all partand full-time undergraduate students at the University of Saskatchewan (U of S). Membership in the Society is open to undergraduate students at the U of S, but all members of the U of S community are encouraged to contribute to the newspaper. Opinions expressed in the Sheaf do not necessarily reflect those of the Sheaf Publishing Society Inc. The Sheaf reserves the right to refuse to accept or print any material deemed unfit for publication, as determined by the Editor-in-Chief. The Sheaf is published weekly during the academic year and monthly from May through August. The Editor-inChief has the right to veto any submission deemed unfit for the Society newspaper. In determining this, he/she will decide if the article or artwork would be of interest to a significant portion of the Society and benefit the welfare of Sheaf readers. The Sheaf will not publish any racist, sexist, homophobic, or libelous material.

ICT Security cautions students that online identity theft can affect anyone.

Corrections • In the corrections box of our last issue, we incorrectly referred to photo editor Jordan Dumba as Jodran Dumba.

We apologize for the error.

• In our Mendel Art Gallery brings in the new season article in the last issue, we wrongly identified Amy Fung as Amy Chung and misspelled Tammi Campbell’s name as Tammy. We apologize for the errors.

• In our Women refuse to lose soccer article, we wrongly identified the women’s soccer games as having taken place on Oct. 28 and 29 when they in fact occurred on Sept. 28 and 29. We apologize for the error.

• In the Men’s soccer team top Prairie Division article from last week, we mistakenly claimed that the Huskies games took place on Oct. 27 and 29 when they in fact occurred on Sept. 27 and 29. We apologize for the error.

• In the Upcoming Huskies Games box in last week’s issue, we mistakenly identified the Oct. 6 Huskies women’s soccer match as being against the University of Alberta Golden Bears instead of the University of Alberta Pandas. We apologize for the error.

• If you find any errors in this week’s copy of the Sheaf, please report them to editor@thesheaf.com

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Dobranski has never seen anything like this in his year and half with ICT Security.

“These guys are very good,” Dobranski said. “People want to be trusting. So when they get a phone call from someone they want to do business with, they go out of their way to try to win their business. Unfortunately, in this case we had someone impersonating someone.”

Dobranski could not say who from the U of S the website was impersonating or if any of their attempts at defrauding the university’s partners were successful.

The website was reported to ICT by a member of the university community.

Explicit details of the scam are not available because the investigation is still ongoing.

Though there are still a lot of unknowns surrounding the scamming incident, Dobranski said there are lessons the campus community can take away from it.

“It all comes down to risk management,” Dobranski said. “It’s deciding what you want to have online and what you don’t and understanding that there could be ramifications.”

Dobranski encouraged the campus community to remain vigilant of similar circumstances. Students or faculty who notice anything out of the ordinary can contact ICT Security at ict.sec@usask.ca or Protective Services at 306-966-5555.

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University projects deficit for 2014-15 ANNA-LILJA DAWSON Senior News Editor

More than a year and a half before the expected budgeting period, the University of Saskatchewan has published its operations forecast for the 2014-15 fiscal year.

Despite the early planning, the operating budget already rings in at $14.5 million over budget. Revenues are expected to come in at $439.9 million while expenses outweigh these figures at $508.5 million.

However, Provost and Vice-President Academic Brett Fairbairn said the university’s current efforts to battle the looming 2015-16 deficit of $44.5 million might pay off for the 2014-15 operating budget.

“In a year in a half we’ll have done quite a few things to reduce” the 2014-15 deficit, Fairbairn said. “All else being equal, I would fully expect it to be smaller if all goes well.

We might even not have a deficit by that point in a year and a half from now.”

The university’s operating budget funds salaries, pays for some maintenance and upkeep of facilities as well as for utilities and provides about $10 million for scholarships and bursaries. Some targeted funding is allocated for the accreditation of the College of Medicine, expansion of the nursing and medicine programs and library acquisitions.

The operating grant does not fund large capital projects.

For the second year in a row, the U of S has requested a two per cent increase to the provincial operating grant. The grant would ring in at $326.5 million — accounting for 68 per cent of total operating revenues — and would be the largest source of funding.

In the past, the university has asked for larger increases of about five per cent for the provincial operating grant, but following an unexpected increase of only two per cent for the 2012-13 grant and a look at what other provinces were receiving, the U of S dialed back to more modest requests.

“In the past we often projected what our costs would be going up at and requested that amount from the province. But a couple years ago we changed that because it became apparent when we looked across the country that that was unrealistic,” Fairbairn said,

citing provinces like Alberta that recently cut back post-secondary funding by nearly $150 million.

Fairbairn said the university’s multi-year budgeting makes planning with the province’s year-to-year budgets difficult. However, the U of S does not create contingency plans in case funding requests are not met.

“I’ve stressed in the media and in talking with the government how important it is for us to have multi-year signals,” he said. “If we have multiple years to plan we can start changing our budget, but with one year it’s tough ... it becomes a multi-year effort to bring our budget in balance.”

The currently over-budget forecast has revenue from tuition estimated to be $115.1 million. This revenue is based on an average undergraduate tuition increase of 4.7 per cent with steady enrolment. Tuition is the second-

largest revenue source for the operating budget, accounting for 23 per cent.

Despite the cash saved through workforce planning — a reorganization of the university’s services to find efficiencies — salaries and benefits are the largest expenditures in the operating budget totalling 65 per cent of the $508.5 million budget.

Workforce planning was implemented from January to the end of July and eliminated 245 positions campus-wide, but also created some jobs in the process. This reorganization resulted in $8.5 million in savings from salaries and benefits for the 2014-15 budget, coming to a total of $10 million by the end of 2016.

Fairbairn said a large part of the savings from workforce planning came from the elimination of positions that had large salary increases in their near future.

CODY SCHUMACHER/GRAPHICS EDITOR

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NEWS

10 October, 2013 • thesheaf.com

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U of S Students come together for Global Peace Rally ANNA-LILJA DAWSON Senior News Editor

David Ogunkanmi, representative for international students on University Student Council, promoted peace alongside many other students through education and understanding on Oct. 3.

Ogunkanmi developed his interest in nonviolent conflict resolution through peace efforts with his family in Nigeria. He said he was heavily influenced by the work his father did as a community leader who was highly involved in negotiations and conflict resolutions.

Last year Ogunkanmi noticed that international students had low levels of participation with activities held on campus and decided to try to get them more involved.

“I said, ‘Let me see how we can bring everyone together with international students, domestic students and even the city as a whole,’ get [everyone] together in a mutual coexistence,” Ogunkanmi said.

In lieu of the International Day of Peace, celebrated Sept. 21, Ogunkanmi came together with students who were interested in having a celebration on campus and planned the Global Peace Rally.

The University of Saskatchewan Students’ Union Pride Centre, the St. Thomas More Just Youth Group and the Indigenous Students’ Council took part in the peace rally by sharing aspects of their culture at tables set up in the North Concourse of Upper Place Riel.

The Just Youth Group had a booth in Upper Place Riel supporting their fall campaign for Development for Peace — a group that provides ombudspersons for Canadian mining companies that are present in the global south.

The Just Youth Group organizer Joshua Smith said the rally was an ideal event to share their support for peace and related causes.

“It served as the perfect place to show or demonstrate our kind of work on social justice … and as a part of global peace that is also something we are trying to promote,” Smith said.

“It was a great experience both getting to interact with the other people who had

JORDAN DUMBA/PHOTO EDITOR

David Ogunkanmi (front left) and members of the Global Peace Alliance pose with the rally’s banner that garnered over 400 signatures. similar booths set up and to be able to talk to the various people coming by.”

Smith said the Just Youth Group will definitely take part in the rally should it come back for a second year.

Celebrated annually by the United Nations since 1981, the International Day of Peace is declared as a day devoted to strengthening the ideals of peaceful assembly. In 2001, the UN General Assembly unanimously voted to make Sept. 21 an annual day of nonviolence and ceasefire.

During the 100-day countdown to the International Day of Peace, UN SecretaryGeneral Ban Ki-Moon stated that education and understanding are crucial to achieving world peace.

“It is not enough to teach children how

to read, write and count. Education has to cultivate mutual respect for others and the world in which we live, and help people forge more just, inclusive and peaceful societies,” Ki-Moon stated.

As a result of the rally, the Global Peace Alliance was formed and is now a ratified campus club dedicated to the promotion of peace and nonviolent means of conflict resolution.

The Global Peace Alliance themed their rally on peace through understanding. The aim was to build peace through learning and sharing about the numerous countries, cultures and values that are present on campus as well as to foster a community of mutual respect and understanding.

A white banner was set out in Upper Place

Riel for anyone to sign with their declarations of peace. The banner collected 437 signatures in languages ranging from various African languages and Hungarian to Mandarin and Arabic.

Ogunkanmi said the banner will be sent to the UN once the Global Peace Alliance has preserved it.

Later in the day, there was a march for peace starting out of the Bowl alongside a charity soccer kickoff and juggling competition as a tribute to the UN’s initiative of “peace through sport”. The Olympics are an example of an event that is supportive of peace through sport.

On Aug. 23, the UN announced that April 6, 2014 would be the inaugural International Day of Sport for Development and Peace.

rate for those under 25 sits at 15 per cent — double the national average.

Louis Theriault, the director of health economics for the Conference Board of Canada, an independent applied research not-for-profit organization, said the country’s young adults are struggling.

“It’s more difficult for young Canadians to find permanent full-time jobs that suit their skills and areas of study. Recent job creation has been dominated by part time work — which is becoming a trend in Canada,” Theriault said in the press release. “This impacts younger workers in particular and contributes to their higher stress levels.”

Finding suitable employment after graduation is the main goal of nearly every university student. However, it is easier said than done in the current economic climate.

Adding to the employment uncertainty facing youth is the tremendous weight of student debt that is persistently haunting the majority of graduates.

“We’re concerned to see the impact of economic instability on young Canadians with nine in 10 feeling excessively stressed,” said Kevin Dougherty, president of Sun Life Financial Canada, in the release.

“This finding is consistent with what we are seeing in our disability claims business.

For Canadians age 30 and under, 40 per cent of their long term disability claims relate to mental health.”

The Sun Life Canadian Health Index survey was compiled by research company Ipsos

Reid and looked at attitudes toward healthy lifestyles. It intended to show the impact the global financial crisis has had on the mental

health of Canadians and received 3,113 responses from Canadians across the country.

Young Canadians are more likely to stress about money HANNA PETERSEN — Over the Edge (University of Northern British Columbia)

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Having more than change in their pockets is a concern for younger generations.

PRINCE GEORGE (CUP) — An online poll conducted by Sun Life Financial has found that young adults are more prone to stressing about money than anyone else as they struggle to find decent employment.

In a press release from Sun Life, it was announced that the survey found nine out of 10 respondents aged 18 to 24 experience “uncomfortable” levels of stress, with money and work being two of the largest factors.

Those in the next age brackets aren’t much better off, with 80 per cent of respondents aged between 25 and 44 indicating they are also stressed from jobs and financial concerns.

The poll showed that younger Canadians are feeling greater financial stress than those of the baby boomer generation.

The survey notes that the unemployment

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NEWS

10 October, 2013 • thesheaf.com

McMaster business profs suspended for toxic behaviour ANQI SHEN — The Silhouette (McMaster University)

HAMILTON (CUP) — Five professors in McMaster University’s DeGroote School of Business have been handed “lengthy suspensions without pay” after a tribunal of their peers found their misconduct resulted in a “poisonous and hostile work environment.”

In 2011, two complaints of harassment were filed by and against faculty in McMaster’s business school.

Five faculty members filed a harassment complaint against a senior administrator and McMaster University. Seven faculty members and one staff member then alleged that six other faculty members, including the four who filed the first complaint, harassed them. A single counter-complaint was filed against one of the initiators of the second complaint.

The complaints were filed a year after former business dean Paul Bates resigned amid faculty disputes and claims of bullying. Some believed he was not a qualified academic, as he had industry experience but no university degree, while others defended him. The issue created a rift amongst McMaster’s business school faculty.

An anti-discrimination tribunal set up to address the complaints recently released its 26-page public report. The report summarizes the tribunal’s findings after two years of

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The DeGroote School of Business will need to replace the five faculty members that were given “lengthy suspensions without pay” following years of misconduct. proceedings, 2,694 documents and testimonies from 65 witnesses.

The tribunal, made up of three tenured McMaster professors, found that several professors committed “serious and multiple”

acts of misconduct.

“The most egregious misconduct involved the unlawful and self-serving interference with tenure and promotion,” according to the public report.

Saskatoon students collect winter clothes for immigrants and refugees

Queeristorical walking tour brings Queerapalooza to a close

Campus news briefs ANNA-LILJA DAWSON Senior News Editor

U of S professor praised for literary achievements Beverley Brenna has struck gold with her novel The White Bicycle — the story of a teenager with Asperger’s Syndrome.

The associate professor from the College of Education was the third Canadian author in the last 14 years to receive the Michael L. Printz Honor Book and now she is a finalist for the Governor General’s Literary Award.

Both awards are for The White Bicycle.

The Printz Honor Book recognizes “the best writing in young adult literature” while the Governor General’s Literary Award is given to the best English-language book from several categories.

Brenna specializes in children's’ literature and literacy but credits her experience with the arts as her main inspiration and for the source of several themes in The White Bicycle.

“I am very grateful for the strong liberal arts education that has been an inspiration to me throughout my writing endeavours,” Brenna said.

The winners of the Governor General’s Literary Award will be announced Nov. 13.

Each winner will receive $25,000.

Nine students from the College of Nursing and their clinical instructor Kim Thiessen are collecting winter clothing to give back to the community.

"Anything that is clean, in good condition that you would wear to keep yourself warm in a Canadian winter, we would happily accept,” Thiessen told News Talk 650 CKOM. The group will distribute the clothes Oct. 10 at the Ebenezer Baptist Church in the Meadowgreen area.

"Meadowgreen is a community where we have many, many people from different cultures, different backgrounds who are new to Canadian winter,” Thiessen said. “Most have never experienced a winter before.”

The winter clothing drive is a collaboration between the College of Nursing, Ebenezer Baptist Church, Meadow Green House for All Nations, the Global Gathering Place and the Open Door Society.

The University of Saskatchewan has held clothing drives for international students in the past to help prepare them — especially those who are from warmer climates — for Saskatoon’s winter months.

The University of Saskatchewan Students’ Union Pride Centre’s 16th birthday celebrations finished with a series of historical walking tours highlighting sexual diversity on campus.

As a part of Queerapalooza, the Greystone Secrets: A Queerstorical Campus Walking Tour visited areas of campus that hold significance to the history — good and bad — of sexual diversity at the U of S. The tour took place once a day from Oct. 5 – 7.

The first stop on the tour was the QueerUS exhibition in the Murray Library and continued on to feature up to six guest speakers. One speaker, Saskatoon artist and transwoman Miki Mappin gave an account of her “lover at the time being very scared of [their] public displays of affection.”

A highlight of the tour was the opportunity to recreate a historical photo. Dubbed the 99-year-old kiss, the photo features two women, Annie McKay and one known only as “Hope”, kissing behind Saskatchewan Hall.

"It's a really nice opportunity to welcome people to campus and make campus a space where queer people feel welcome, to know they are not alone and that it's a safe place for them to come out," tour organizer Joe Wickenhauser said.

While the tribunal saw grounds for dismissal, it found that McMaster allowed some delays in the process. Certain decisions by a “non-party senior administrator” also contributed to the workplace hostility.

The tribunal recommended that three professors should have “lengthy suspensions without pay, benefits, privileges or access to the university’s premises.” It was recommended that two other professors also be suspended, but for a shorter period of time. One other individual will receive a written reprimand.

The identities of the professors are being kept confidential.

The tribunal did not find any “direct harassment or malicious behaviour” by McMaster University. However, it was recommended that the university review its antidiscrimination policy.

McMaster president Patrick Deane issued a statement calling the complexity and number of the complaints “unprecedented” at the university.

Deane stated that he “fully accepts the tribunal’s findings” and has “already begun the process of implementing the recommended sanctions and other remedies.”

According to McMaster spokesperson Andrea Farquhar, the business school has hired “a number of well-qualified instructors” to take over from the suspended professors.

Campus crime report

Incidents at the University of Saskatchewan involving Protective Services in the week of Sept. 30 – Oct. 7, 2013 Officers issued: • 2 Theft under $5,000 • 2 Mischief • 2 Warrants executed • 1 Common Assault

Tickets issued:

• 10 Traffic offences • 4 Alcohol-related • 1 Trespassing

Other reports:

Protective Services responded to two medical calls.

Med school • continued from 1 These faculty members are not teaching or doing research.

As a result, the College of Medicine is averaging only eight per cent of the university’s total research — other Canadian medical colleges average 50 per cent of their institution’s total research.

“Over the last year it has become abundantly clear to us that the problems we face in the college are structural, not a result of insufficient funding,” Busch-Vishniac wrote in the press release. “The College of Medicine was founded 60 years ago on a model that simply does not work for our medical school today.”

As for the near future, Busch-Vishniac said that additional efforts will be put into maintaining the College of Medicine’s accreditation.

“What we can do is do everything in our power to act upon what we know have been raised as issues in the recent past, and that is what we’re doing with the implementation plan,” Busch-Vishniac said.

“It is important for the students to hear that we are absolutely committed to turning this situation around and that we remain accredited.

We will not be losing our accreditation. We can not let that happen.”

The status of “Accreditation with Probation” will not affect the day-to-day operations of the college, nor will students graduating this year need to worry about graduating from an unaccredited institution.

A finalized implementation plan for the College of Medicine will be presented to University Council on Oct. 24, where Busch-

Vishniac said there will be full discussion about the college’s current probationary status.

The Student Medical Society of Saskatchewan — the representative body for students in the College of Medicine — issued a press release on Oct. 7 in which it stated that it will continue its heavy involvement in addressing the issues that led to the college’s probationary status. However, the SMSS will not take the status of probation lightly.

“As the representative body for medical students, the SMSS is taking the status of probation very seriously,” the SMSS stated.

“We recognize the impact that this has on the community, the university and the province as a whole. However, we hope the probation will not be viewed solely as a negative outcome but rather as a catalyst for positive change.”

A third-year nursing student at the U of S who has applied for the College of Medicine said that the status of probation with accreditation is a definite deterrent to re-applying.

“I’ve always wanted to go to the U of S [College of Medicine] and it has actually turned me off of it quite a bit,” said the student, who wished to remain anonymous as to not affect the application process. “I have a few friends who are in first, second and third year and they are telling me to apply elsewhere around Canada or even in Europe.”

The student cites complaints of lack of direction given from professors and a shortage of faculty members as two reasons why their friends “haven’t had a great med school experience.”

SPORTS

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Dinos blackout Huskies 10 October, 2013 • thesheaf.com

AUSTIN ARVAY

The Huskies took on the undefeated Univeristy of Calgary Dinos on Oct. 4 but were unable to hand the visiting team their first loss of the year. The Canada West number one team topped the rival number two ranked Dogs 24-12 during the Huskies annual blackout game.

The Dinos rode a strong second half to victory and ran their record to a perfect 6-0.

The win guarantees Calgary the number one seed in Canada West playoffs and home field advantage throughout the first round. The Dogs fell to 4-2 on the season and need a win over the Manitoba Bisons to clinch a home playoff game.

It was a relatively sloppy game on a brisk October night as the teams combined for nine turnovers. The Huskies had four lost fumbles as well as an interception tossed by quarterback Drew Burko, but the defence picked up the slack with two picks of their own and two recovered fumbles.

The Huskies played a strong first half and held the lead over the Dinos at halftime.

However, the Dinos came out flying in the second half and outscored the Dogs 18-1.

The Huskies gained just 164 yards on offence in the second half, with 71 of those coming on the final drive which ended in a turnover on downs at the Dinos’ 18-yard line.

The Dinos on the other hand were unstoppable in the second half, using a balanced attack to gain a hefty 418 yards.

Despite the rather cool finish, the Huskies offence was on fire to start the game. They scored on their opening drive, a 15-yard pass from Burko to receiver Charlie Power, but were unable to find the endzone again. In the second quarter, Dinos kicker Johnny Mark connected on field goals from 19 and 23 yards out and Huskies kicker Denton Kolodzinski hit from 42 yards and missed from 38, giving the Dogs an 11-6 advantage at the half.

Kolodzinski opened the scoring in the second half with a single point off a punt

JORDAN DUMBA/PHOTO EDITOR

The Huskies had a win over the Canada West top ranked Dinos in their sights, but a strong second-half push by the visiting team took on the challenge. into the endzone, making it a 12-6 game.

The Dinos answered with a short sixplay, two minute drive that ended in Chris Dobko catching a 19-yard pass from Dinos quarterback Andrew Buckley. Mark would add three more points for Calgary with a 34yard field goal, and then another single with a 61-yard punt. The Dinos led 17-12 after the third quarter.

The lone points in the fourth quarter came off an 80-yard touchdown run by Dinos running back Mercer Timmins which extended the visiting team’s lead

to 12. Timmins finished the night with an impressive 178 rushing yards.

The Dinos offence used a balanced attack all night to keep the Huskies defence guessing. Calgary ran for 274 yards and threw for another 355. Rashaun Simonise was Buckley’s favourite target as he hauled in six catches for 145 yards. The Dogs defence performed well, recording three sacks and four takeaways — something they can build off in the coming weeks.

Burko completed 17 out of 38 passes for 169 yards and one touchdown on the night.

Garrett Burgess led the Huskies receivers with six receptions for 91 yards.

Running back Dexter Janke had a quiet night on the ground with just 10 carries for 57 yards. He did however have a 31-yard run on the Huskies’ first drive, which helped set up the lone touchdown for the Dogs.

Andrew Abbs led the defence with a total of 10 tackles.

The Huskies host the University of Manitoba Bisons on Oct. 18 in a make-orbreak game at Griffiths Stadium.

Dog Watch: Kabree Howard KIMBERLEY HARTWIG Sports Editor

Huskies women’s basketball point guard Kabree Howard is gearing up for the upcoming season.

This is Howard’s fourth year with the team and she plans to continue playing for the Huskies until her eligibility runs out.

Despite a busy school schedule — she plans on applying to the College of Education after completing a native studies degree — Howard always makes time for basketball. More than Howard’s love of basketball, it’s the team atmosphere that keeps her coming back year after year.

Howard’s favourite thing about playing with the team is “the friendships that you make with the girls. [In the end it’s] what always keeps people around,” she said.

It’s difficult to say goodbye to players as they move on from the Huskies, but Howard remains friends with the alumni and welcomes the chance to meet new players.

“From year to year you think it’s going to be a big change with new girls and then you just make great new relationships with new people,” she said. “You meet so many great people.”

The inclusive atmosphere is also a big part of the reason why Howard chose to play ball for the Huskies. Before even meeting the women’s team coaches, she knew that

JORDAN DUMBA/PHOTO EDITOR

they would be a positive influence.

“I really like how Jackie [Lavallee] interacted with her assistant coaches. They looked like such a team within themselves.

I really liked that,” she said.

One of Howard’s main objectives for the season is to support her team in whatever way she can.

“Whatever my role is, if it needs to be scoring, making sure that we’re getting the ball into our post player ... whatever the team needs is my goal.”

As for team goals, the squad is always looking to move up in the Canadian Interuniversity Sport national rankings.

“Every year [our goal] is to get to nationals and be one of the top eight teams in the country,” Howard said.

The team has played non conference games against Lakeland College and women’s basketball alumni to prepare for the upcoming season. So far the team has looked strong and Howard is hoping the pre-season success helps the squad hit the ground running.

“The expectations are always to win [and] to play well. Hopefully we can do that right away and start building on that,” she said.

Howard doesn’t stray far from sports in her freetime. She works at the Physical Activity Complex, is a member of the Huskie Athletics Council and enjoys cheering on the other Huskie teams.

“I would rather go watch a Huskie game than go watch an NHL hockey game. I would much rather watch the guys that we know,” she said.

With such a demanding schedule it’s easy to understand why Howard likes to have a moment to herself before the action begins.

“Before games [I’m the] first person out on the court shooting,” she said. “I like having the gym all to myself even if it’s just for a few minutes to shoot.”

Turn Books Into Scholarships Dates: October 15, 16, 17 Time: 9am - 8pm Place: German Cultural Centre Cartwright Street and Lorne Ave Sponsored By: Canadian Federation of University Women Saskatoon Inc.

B.Y.O.B. (Bags, that is!)

6

SPORTS

10 October, 2013 • thesheaf.com

Women suffer first loss of the season KIMBERLEY HARTWIG Sports Editor

After a strong performance against the Mount Royal Cougars, the University of Saskatchewan Huskies women’s soccer team endured their first loss of the season courtesy of the University of Alberta Pandas.

The Dogs shutout the Cougars on Oct. 5 2-0 and extended their undefeated streak to eight games before falling 0-1 to the Pandas on Oct 6. The team is now 6-1-2 on the season.

In their first match against the Cougars, the Huskies pulled away in the second half with two late game goals. Both teams were finding their footing early in the match, as neither squad was able to create strong scoring opportunities.

The Cougars nearly took the lead when Kelsey Kinzer got through the Huskies’ defenders and took a shot on net but she was called offside and the score remained at 0-0.

KEVIN SCHENK/THEGATEWAY

The Huskies lost, but clinched a playoff berth.

The Huskies scored the first goal with just under a minute left in the first half. Erica Parenteau’s corner kick was cleared off the line but Janelle Zapski was there to put the ball into the bottom corner of the net. The goal was Zapski’s sixth of the season.

The Dogs extended their lead in the 63rd minute when Parenteau lobbed the ball over Cougars keeper Kelsey Marklund to make it 2-0 for the Huskies. The Cougars swapped Marklund for Janelle Chicilo midway

through the second half and, although the Huskies wouldn’t score another goal, the Cougars’ offence had no answer to the strong Dog defence and the match ended at 2-0 for the visiting team.

Keeper Kyleigh Vause got her first start of the season in net for the Huskies and recorded the shutout. Vause made one save while Marklund made three and Chicilo stopped two. The Huskies kept the opposing keepers busy, putting seven shots on net while the Cougars had a mere one.

The Huskies continually held the offensive edge in their second game against the Pandas but it was their inability to make good on their chances that led to the team’s first loss. The Dogs outshot the home team 12-3 overall and had seven shots on target compared to only two for the Pandas, but the one shot that made it into the net made all the difference.

The Dogs had their first chance to snag the lead in the 22nd minute when Ali Goodman

broke away to race towards the goal but Pandas keeper Kelti Biggs came out of net to challenge Goodman and forced her to shoot wide.

Zapski had back-to-back looks at a goal in the 62nd and 63rd minutes but both times Biggs was there to make the save.

Not long after the Pandas netted their first and only goal of the day. Julia Ignacio found an opening and rocketed a shot past Huskies keeper Lisa Evans into the far corner of the net to give the home team a 1-0 advantage.

The Huskies had a final chance to tie the game when Leanne Mylymok headed a corner kick towards the net but once again Biggs was there to deny the shot.

The team may have suffered their first loss but they are assured a playoff spot thanks to Mount Royal’s loss earlier that day.

The Huskies stay on the road to face the University of the Fraser Valley Cascades on Oct. 11 and the University of Victoria Vikes on Oct. 12.

Men’s soccer team sweeps Alberta Golden Bears

KIMBERLEY HARTWIG Sports Editor

The Huskies men’s soccer team treated their fans to two wins this past weekend as they swept the University of Alberta Golden Bears at home.

The Dogs downed the Bears 2-0 on Oct. 5 and 2-1 on Oct. 6, improving to a 7-3-0 record on the season. The wins also keep the Huskies atop the Prairie Division rankings with the closest team, the Calgary Dinos, trailing five points behind.

The Huskies opened the series by shutting out the Golden Bears for a 2-0 triumph.

Both of the Dogs’ goals came in the second half of the match.

The Dogs had a big chance to score in the first half when David Brown was awarded a free kick from 20 yards out but Golden Bears keeper Jay Vetsch was able to get his hands on the ball and keep the score tied at 0-0.

The Bears had to work hard to fend off the Huskies offence in the first half. Twice the home team was within five yards of the net but couldn’t get a shot off either time.

The Huskies outshot the visiting team 5-1 in the frame but weren’t able to find the net to break the stalemate.

Rookie defender Kyle Moore scored

his first Canadian Interuniversity Sport goal to put the Huskies on the board in the 51st minute of second half. Moore headed Jordian Farahani’s free kick into the top left corner of the net just out of Vetsch’s reach.

In the 80th minute Garrett Peters added another goal when he blasted a ball past Vetsch. Peters was assisted by Eoin McFadden. The two goals were enough to secure the Huskies victory.

Huskies keeper Michal Bandula recorded two saves in the shutout while Vetsch made six. The Dogs controlled the ball throughout the match, outshooting the Bears 13-5.

Sunday’s game began with missed chances for both squads. Luigi Bekwayo missed a penalty shot in the 35th minute after Brett Levis was brought down in front of the net and the Bears couldn’t capitalize off two free kicks of their own. The first half ended in a 0-0 deadlock.

The Bears finally broke through in the 52nd minute when Niko Saler knocked a penalty kick into the net past Bandula.

Levis tied the game with his sixth goal of the season. His free kick from 19 yards out slid into the bottom left corner of the net and leveled the score at one apiece. Seven minutes later a Huskie player was tripped in the box and David Brown netted the game winner off the ensuing penalty kick.

Men’s Soccer Oct. 12 vs. University of Victoria Vikes at 2:15 p.m.

Oct. 13 vs. University of the Fraser Valley Cascades at 2:15 p.m.

• Oct. 19 and 20 in Calgary vs. Mount Royal University Cougars at 2:30 p.m.

Women’s Soccer • Oct. 11 in Abbotsford vs. University of the Fraser Valley Cascades at 5 p.m.

• Oct. 12 in Victoria vs. University of Victoria Vikes at 5 p.m.

Oct. 20 vs. University of Northern British Columbia Timberwolves at 12 p.m.

BAILEY JOHNSON

The Huskies sit atop the Prairie Division rankings with the closest team trailing five points behind.

Men’s Hockey • Oct. 11 in Winnipeg vs. University of Manitoba Bisons at 7 p.m.

• Oct. 12 in Winnipeg vs. University of Manitoba Bisons at 6 p.m.

Oct. 18 and 19 vs. University of Alberta Golden Bears at 7 p.m.

Men’s Football

Women’s Hockey Oct. 11 and 12 vs. University of Manitoba Bisons at 7 p.m.

• Oct. 18 in Calgary vs. University of Alberta Pandas at 7 p.m.

• Oct. 19 in Calgary vs. University of Alberta Pandas at 6 p.m.

*Top four teams qualify for playoffs

Men’s Volleyball • Oct. 11-13 in Regina at the University of Regina Invitational • Oct. 18 and 19 in Vancouver at University of British Columbia Invitational

The Huskies will play their final home matches against the University of Victoria Vikes on Oct. 12 and the University of the Fraser Valley Cascades on Oct. 13.

Canada West Standings

Upcoming Huskies Games Men’s Football Oct. 18 vs. University of Manitoba Bisons at 7 p.m.

The Huskies had not won back to back games against the Bears since 2000.

Bandula made four saves on the day while Vetsch stopped seven on the other end of the field. The Huskies outshot the Bears 22-15.

Home Game

1. Calgary 2. Saskatchewan 3. Manitoba 4. UBC 5. Regina 6. Alberta

Men’s Soccer

Women’s Soccer GP-W-L 6-6-0 6-4-2 6-3-3 6-3-3 6-2-4 6-0-6

Prairie Division 1. Saskatchewan 2. Calgary 3. Alberta 4. Winnipeg 5. Mount Royal 6. Lethbridge

GP-W-L-T 10-7-3-0 10-5-4-1 9-4-3-2 10-3-4-3 9-3-5-1 10-2-7-1

Pacific Division 1. UBC 2. Victoria 3. UFV 4. UNBC 5. Trinity Western

GP-W-L-T 10-9-1-0 8-6-2-0 10-4-5-1 8-1-5-6 8-1-6-1

*Top three teams from each division qualify for playoffs

1. Alberta 2. Saskatchewan 3. UBC 4. Victoria 5. Calgary 6. Trinity Western 7. Regina 8. UFV 9. Mount Royal 10. Manitoba 11. Winnipeg 12. Lethbridge 13. UNBC

Women’s Hockey GP-W-L-T 10-8-0-2 9-6-1-2 8-5-0-3 8-6-2-0 9-5-2-2 8-4-1-3 9-4-4-1 8-3-3-2 10-3-6-1 9-1-5-3 9-1-8-0 9-0-7-2 8-0-7-1

*Top three teams from each division qualify for playoffs

1. Regina 2. Lethbridge 3. Saskatchewan 4. Manitoba 5. Mount Royal 6. Alberta 7. UBC 8. Calgary

GP-W-L-OTL 2-2-0-0 2-1-0-1 2-1-1-0 2-1-1-0 2-1-1-0 2-1-1-0 2-1-1-0 2-0-1-1

*Top three teams from each division qualify for playoffs

Men’s Hockey 1. Alberta 2. Calgary 3. Saskatchewan 4. Mount Royal 5. Lethbridge 6. UBC 7. Manitoba 8. Regina

GP-W-L-OTL 2-2-0-0 2-2-0-0 2-1-1-0 2-1-1-0 0-0-0-0 0-0-0-0 2-0-2-0 2-0-2-0

*Top three teams from each division qualify for playoffs

CULTURE

10 October, 2013 • thesheaf.com

7

Byzantium tells a human vampire story KATLYNN BALDERSTONE

Directed by Neil Jordan and written by Moira Buffini, Byzantium is a dark tale that offers a unique spin on vampire lore and will certainly keep your interest.

Eleanor (Saoirse Ronan) and Clara (Gemma Arterton) are on the run, drifting from town to town in an effort to survive and keep hidden. Needing a place to regroup, Clara manages to seduce their way into the guesthouse Byzantium, run by the nervous and lonely Noel (Daniel Mays).

Hoever, these two women are not just travelers — but vampires. And while Clara is content with their current life, Eleanor is lonely and desperate to have her story told.

The latter believes she has found a confidant in a teenage boy, Frank (Caleb Jones), but the truth begins to spread and soon Eleanor finds out exactly why Clara doesn’t want anyone to know what they are.

Byzantium is not the modern horror film North America is familiar with. The pacing can be slow and more focused on setting the scene and tone than any truly frightening moments. The horror does not come from the vampire attacks or townsfolk trying to fight against them. Instead, many of the unsettling and disturbing moments come from the leads and their story.

As the film goes on, Eleanor gives accounts of her life 200 years prior, before she became a vampire, and of Clara’s and details what they have done to survive. The conflict between Clara’s lusty nature and preoccupation with the present moment and Eleanor’s attempts at morality and openness drive the film. While it can take a while to get anywhere, the slow buildup pays off well and makes for an excellent character study.

MOVIE STILL

Eleanor (Saoirse Ronan) finds herself in a bloody situation.

The portrayal of vampires in Byzantium is a feature of note. While the typical weakness of sunlight is never shown to be a factor, the real vulnerability Eleanor and Clara must face is the isolation from the mortal world and others of their kind. To highlight this, Eleanor’s relationship with Frank, although understated, comes off as a need for companionship than romantic attraction.

The show must go on for the No-No’s improv troupe

The transformation process to become a vampire itself is one of the genuinely terrifying parts of the film, especially with the overlying themes of both character’s need to face and accept death.

While Byzantium will not create any great shakes, it is a thoughtful work that discusses death, the need to accept its inevitability and how far humans will go to live on anyway.

More importantly, it is about the struggles and isolation two women face while cut off from any semblance of home, and their need to rely on each other despite their differences.

Even as a sometimes disturbingly dark tale of monsters, Byzantium makes for a very human tale.

Regenerative Medicine:

New Approaches to Healthcare…from the lab bench to functioning human tissues

Last season’s zany Non-No’s cast, featuring Matthew Bembridge at the centre.

MADISON TAYLOR The curtain opens this fall on a much emptier stage for the No-No’s comedy troupe.

The Saskatoon-born group will be short more than just a member this season as they say an untimely goodbye to friend and fellow performer Matthew “Max” Bembridge.

Bembridge passed away on Sept. 30 at the age of 36. The No-No’s held their debut show this past Oct. 4 in memory of Bembridge, reassuring friends and fans alike that the laughter will live on.

With every end comes a new beginning as the No-No’s said hello to a new venue and a promising new season. The troupe have settled in to their latest home in the Le Relais community centre downtown on 4th Avenue north.

Though the scenery may have changed, the No-No’s have not forgotten their roots.

Beginning in 1995 as a fresh-faced comedy group on the frontier of Saskatoon’s improv scene, they enjoyed local fame on a weekly television program as the Flying Fish Fun Factory.

SUPPLIED BY THE NONOS

With a snappy name and a healthy dose of optimism, it seemed the group had nowhere to go but up. Unfortunately, Shaw cancelled the show a few years after its conception and the group went their separate ways.

Thankfully this was not to be the end for the the troupe. The year 2001 brought a joyous reunion and a brand new cast, including the late Bembridge. The years following delivered many exciting opportunities, attracted more and more new members and in 2006 the group reintroduced themselves into the hearts and theaters of Saskatoon as the No-No’s.

With bi-weekly shows and charitable work — such as their “Improv-a-thon” Telemiracle broadcast — the No-No’s will continue to bring wit and comedic genius to the theater seats and television sets of their viewers.

They are a vital facet of Saskatoon’s cultural scene, giving a unique prairie-born flair to the world of improv.

Join the No-No’s on Oct. 18 to help keep the memory and merriment of Max Bembridge alive. Tickets are $5 at the door.

Anthony Atala, M.D. International Award-Winning Medical Pioneer

Tuesday, October 22, 2013 7:00 pm Delta Bessborough, Adam Ballroom

WHELEN visiting LECTURE FREE ADMISSION

NO TICKETS REQUIRED

PUBLIC RECEPTION AND BOOK SIGNING TO FOLLOW

ccde.usask.ca/whelen

8

FEATURE

SASKATOON ROLLER DER

Saskatoon roller derby teams the Killa’ Bees and the Midfox battled the Nightshades and the Belladonnas from Red Deer on Oct. 5 at Prairieland Park.

KIMBERLEY HARTWIG Sports Editor Roller derby faded from the public view after the height of its popularity in the 1970’s but, since its grassroots all-female revival in

2001, roller derby leagues have sprung up all across the globe — including Saskatoon.

The Saskatoon Roller Derby League began in 2007 and has since expanded to six teams.

Two SRDL teams, the Killa’ Bees and the Mindfox — the Roller Derby Association

of Canada’s 2012 national championship winning team — took to the track on Oct. 5 at Prairieland Park to battle teams from Red Deer, Alta. Although both teams lost, roller derby continues to win over new fans and players.

When roller derby made its comeback, it also shed it’s former image. Pre-revival roller derby was something like a World Wrestling Entertainment match — all style and no substance. But now the action is all real.

“The biggest misconception is that it’s not a real sport, that it’s just a bunch of girls dressing up and being drama queens on the track,” said Kristen “Mirage” Loberg, a skater for the Mindfox. “It’s not all theatrics; it’s a real hard-hitting sport. It’s high impact, it’s fast, it’s very entertaining.”

The only thing fake about roller derby is the names players go by. Players choose their names to show their roller derby personality and can also act as a quasi alter ego.

Loberg, who intends to study education at the University of Saskatchewan, has been with the league since its inception and has been crucial to the success of the Mindfox despite not intending to join the team in the beginning.

“I didn’t really plan on sticking around.

I was just going with a friend to check out what it was all about,” she said. “I was pretty much the only person that had any kind of skating experience so I stuck around to help teach everyone how to skate and just fell in love with the game.”

Morgan “Shifty McShovin” Bzowy, a linguistics major at the U of S, also became involved with the sport by accident. After her coworkers started playing she came along to see what it was. Not long after, she began skating for the Killa’ Bees.

“I watched a few bouts and I thought, ‘wow this is pretty cool and I totally want to be involved,’” she said.

One of the reasons derby keeps generating interest and attracting new athletes is because it’s so unique.

“Roller derby is so different from any other sport,” said Bzowy.

At first roller derby may seem confusing,

ANDREW MARESCHAL

Skaters showed no mercy during Saturday’s bout, d but the rules don’t take long to pick up and are quite simple.

Roller derby athletes participate in a bout, which is divided into two 30-minute periods and each period is broken up into jams. Jams can last up to two minutes and there is a 30 second break in between each one. A jam starts when the whistle blows and all players take off at once and ends when the referee blows his whistle four times.

There are three positions in roller derby: jammers, blockers and pivots which are put out in lines similar to those in hockey. A line consists of four blockers, which makes up the pack, and one jammer. Fans can tell who is playing what position by looking at their helmets. Jammers wear a helmet cover with stars, blockers don’t wear a helmet cover and pivots wear a helmet cover with stripes.

Jammers score points for the team by passing opposing blockers. No points are awarded on the initial pass but from the second pass on. During the first lap jammers fight to work their way through the pack of blockers and become the lead jammer. Being lead jammer is incredibly

9

10 October, 2013 • thesheaf.com

RBY KEEPS ON JAMMIN’

ANDREW MARESCHAL

A jammer for the Killa’ Bees breaks free from the pack.

ANDREW MARESCHAL

displaying all-out agression on the track.

important because they can call off the jam at any time by repeatedly putting their hands on their hips.

“Jammers get all the glory because they score the points but the blockers are vital to a jammer being successful,” said Loberg.

Blockers try to stop the opposing jammer from getting through the pack while clearing the way for their own jammer.

A pivot is a blocker who can take over the roll of jammer during a jam.

To stop opposing jammers from passing or to get other blockers out of the way, players get physical using a variety of different blocks. There is a booty block, which is when a player uses their “booty” to stop an opposing jammer from passing; a J-block, where a player uses their full body to slam shoulder first into the opposing player; a hip check, where a player thrusts their hip into their opponent to knock them off balance and a can opener, where a player springs upward from a crouching position to ram their shoulders into their foe’s sternum.

The bout is monitored by referees who keep track of the score and watch for penalties. During a bout there are seven

referees — two score the jammer, two watch for penalties from the inside of the track and three watch for penalties from the outside.

Players are given penalties for any illegal contact. Penalties last for one minute and if a player accrues seven penalties they are kicked out of the game.

Cody “Kurz So Good” Kurz, a U of S graduate, is the head referee and vice president of the SRDL. Kurz compares what kind of hits are and aren’t acceptable in roller derby to those in hockey.

“Pretty much any hit that is legal in hockey is legal in roller derby,” he said.

“Shoulder checks, hip checks are all good but hitting from behind is not. Hitting with your elbows is not. Using your forearms to push someone down is not.”

Kurz first learned there was roller derby in Saskatoon two years ago and was immediately intrigued by the sport. After watching a bout, he knew he wanted to get involved.

“I just thought it was something crazy and cool,” he said. “It looked like it was a lot of fun because it’s got all the action of hockey but it’s indoors, it’s not as cold [and] there’s lots of drinking. The culture around it is a lot of fun; it’s very inclusive and a good time.”

He didn’t plan on refereeing but his previous skating experience made him a perfect fit for the job.

“They found out I used to play hockey so they got me to try skating. I ended up starting to ref and the rest is pretty much history,” he said.

Due to the physical nature of the sport, athletes take many hits during a bout.

“One of the best ways to slow someone down is to put them on their butt. That’s often what a lot of people attempt to do,” Kurz said.

To prevent as many injuries as possible every player is required to wear protective equipment during the bout. Players wear a helmet, elbow pads, wrist guards, knee pads and a mouth guard.

Kurz is one of the few males in the female-dominated world of Saskatoon roller derby.

“I think technically we have five guys — maybe six — out of probably 60 or so active members,” he said. “It’s a very female dominated sport all across the world right now.”

The strong female presence is something that sets roller derby apart from the largely male-dominated realm of mainstream sports.

“I think one of the main reasons it stays so female dominated is because men still have other options for an aggressive sport,” Kurz said. “This was kind of something that was unique and their own. They could say ‘look we’re not just trying to be like the guys we’re doing our own thing, playing our own game.’ Now the guys are copying them.”

The sport gives women an arena to show their physical prowess, which the athletes relish.

“I think initially why it was a female based sport was to empower women, to prove that we can [play] a contact sport just as well as any man can,” Loberg said.

A roller derby athlete is also not required to fill a certain female athlete archetype.

“Women of all shapes and sizes can play.

You can be any kind of woman ... it’s less based on body type than other sports. It’s more inclusive,” Bzowy said.

The inclusive, community-oriented aspect of roller derby is something Bzowy, Kurz and Loberg all love. Whereas some sports seek to exclude, roller derby tries to do the opposite.

“Everybody is welcome,” Bzowy said.

Kurz invites everyone who hasn’t seen roller derby first-hand to come and watch a bout to truly appreciate the sport.

“I think [you] just have to come see,” he said. “It’s pretty hard to actually get a feel for what it’s like until you actually see it in action and see the big hits, see the people really putting all their effort in and leaving everything on the track.”

Interested in trying roller derby? The league is holding “Freshmeat” tryouts in February. Visit saskatoonrollerderby.ca to find out more.

ANDREW MARESCHAL

Members of the Killa’ Bees cheer on their teammates during a bout against the Nightshades.

10

CULTURE

Pusha-T’s debut will make you want to forget his name NICHOLAS KINDRACHUK Culture Editor

Rapper Pusha-T tries to show the world that he is one of the most talented and showstopping personalities with his official label debut album My Name Is My Name, but he trips on the starting line.

Pusha made a name for himself with the aggressive rap duo Clipse and with Kanye West’s label G.O.O.D Music.

Clipse was known in the underground hip hop scene for their hard hitting flows that came out hot and never let the flame go out.

But when the group broke up, Pusha and other member Malice were left to forge their own solo careers.

While Malice hasn’t made any kind of impact, Pusha has been steadily working on solo projects including a few mixtapes that never really impressed outside of a few quality songs. However, he has hopped on some tracks featuring big names and stolen the show with his raw delivery and wordplay.

My Name Is My Name has been longdelayed and hyped up by hip-hop aficionados all around. When the album starts it sounds like Pusha’s ready to live up to his potential and regain the reputation he acquired with Clipse.

On “King Push,” co-produced by Sebastian Nielsen and Kanye West, Pusha tells of his mindset on music as well as recognizing that this is his moment. “I don’t sing hooks,” he boldy proclaims. It’s an exciting statement; Pusha is boasting that he is here to deliver rap music in it’s purest form and nothing else.

Only he’s lying. It’s clear in the next two tracks that Pusha has this mentality of dishing out authentic rap and wants to impress with great production and heavy, in-your-face wordplay, but these first three tracks are all that he seems to have had in store for his revival. Instead, he quickly falls into the mainstream rut of rapping about his rough upbringing, his time selling drugs and basically nothing at all.

All that a listener could grasp from My Name Is My Name is that Pusha-T was a drug dealer and has worked very hard to get where he is now. That’s great, but he’s said it all before and in more convincing ways.

He even goes so far as to imitate Jay Z and make a song with his own former Destiny’s

10 October, 2013 • thesheaf.com

Upcoming Events Thursday Oct. 10 • Little Miss Higgins and the Winnipeg 5 at Broadway Theatre Friday Oct. 11 • Joanna Borremeo at The Bassment • Conduit at Underground Cafe • Zero Cool at The Fez • Mahogany Frog at Amigos

Pusha-T tries to make his presence felt.

Child member girlfriend, Kelly Rowland.

“Let Me Love You” might be one of the most forced collaborations heard in recent history.

Pusha sounds so lazy here that he might as well be half asleep. For a guy who’s known for invigorated whoops, screams and fits of pure energy, this is a pitiful track that should not have made the cut for any album.

Apparently when Pusha said he doesn’t sing hooks, he really meant that he would get other people to create cheesy autotuned choruses for him. Much better.

Even without those hooks making a desperate grasp at depth, Pusha’s verses hit the same note repeatedly. At this point he has been grasping on to the same drug dealer image for his entire career and, however true to life it may be, with this album it feels worn out.

THOMAS HAWK/FLICKR

After slogging through much of the album, the listener is brought in by a smooth, laid back beat featuring hand-played percussion over which Pusha delivers a solid verse.

Only he finds himself completely outclassed by a guest verse from Kendrick Lamar, who easily lives up to his own taunts that he will outshine anyone on their own song.

Comparable to Pusha in many ways, including subject matter, Lamar has developed a variety of ways to innovate in his stories and delivery that Pusha sorely lacks.

This deep into an already disappointing album, Lamar makes Pusha look like an amateur at his own game.

Saturday Oct. 12 • The Benny Green Trio at The Bassment • BA Johnston at Amigos • We Were Lovers at Le Relais Sunday Oct. 13 • Jake Owen at Credit Union Centre • Viet Cong at Amigos Monday Oct. 14 • University of Saskatchewan Amati Quartet at Third Avenue United Church Tuesday Oct. 15 • Joe Satriani at TCU Place Wednesday Oct. 16 • The Sadies at Broadway Theatre • Great Lake Swimmer at The Bassment • Imagine No Bullying at Mayfair United Church

11 Local musicians take a firm stance on bullying CULTURE

10 October, 2013 • thesheaf.com

NICHOLAS KINDRACHUK Culture Editor

Saskatchewan artists are taking to the schools to perform and spread the word of a largely ignored issue with the Imagine No Bullying tour.

Folk artist Stephen Maguire has witnessed some of the worst that bullying has the potential to become. Growing up in Belfast, Ireland during the civil war, Maguire experienced extreme conditions of social exclusion.

“I faced a life where students were forced to wear patches on their clothes with their religion and if they went to the wrong part of the city they would be attacked for it.”

It is because of these scarring and emotional experiences that Maguire felt he had to do something to make a change. As a celebrated

SUPPLIED

Award-winning country artist Codie Prevost.

folk singer, he felt that he could help through music. Maguire joined with Saskatchewanbased country artist Codie Prevost, who experienced bullying in the small-town he was raised in, to front an effort to end bullying.

Together they are setting off on a provincewide tour to end ignorance toward bullying, especially for the youth.

Maguire said there is a large discrepancy in the way that authority figures punish these violent behaviors.

“When a 14-year-old physically abuses someone, they say that it’s just a phase and they get a slap on the wrist or a time out and that’s it. But if someone as an 18-year-old did the same they would be arrested,” Maguire said.

This sort of emotional abuse is worse at a young age due to the impressionable stage that children are in. Performing at schools is a way for the duo to get right to the core of their audience as well as the teachers who watch over them during the week. They hope their performance will present ideas in a way that is more appealing to youth than a stern lecture.

As Maguire believes the core of bullying starts at home with the parents, the two will remain at the various schools until nightfall to perform another concert that parents are invited to attend so that they may share the experience with their children. Parents are the primary influence in the lives of their children and have a profound effect on how they behave, Maguire said.

The tour works directly with the Canadian Red Cross, which will provide footage and statistics that will play an integral part in the performance.

Maguire and Prevost have also worked together on a special song about the topic of bullying, the song is currently untitled.

Maguire said he firmly believes that bullying is preventable.

“There was this dangerous turn by my

house,” Maguire said. “A kid was killed on that corner and then they put up a crosswalk, but everyone knew that corner was dangerous and that death could have been prevented. The same thing goes for bullying.”

Imagine No Bullying begins on Oct. 16 with a special opening show at Mayfair United Church for the public. Tickets can be purchased at McNally Robinson Booksellers and picatic.com.

Born in Belfast, Ireland, Stephen Maguire has toured all of over Canada.

SUPPLIED

12

OPINIONS

10 October, 2013 • thesheaf.com

Controversially stripping down in Saskatchewan

NAOMI ZUREVINSKI

Strip clubs are set to be the next big business venture in Saskatchewan — but this industry seems a little out of place, doesn’t it?

While strips clubs have never been illegal in Saskatchewan, selling alcohol at them was.

Without the profits of alcohol sales, maintaining a flourishing strip club industry in our province wasn’t realistic.

But new provincial legislation will allow alcohol to be sold and bought in more public places, including strip clubs. So now you will be able to access exotic dancing, lap dances and people taking their clothes off for money — all the while with a drink in hand.

Cities in Saskatchewan are busy planning zones for where businesses can and cannot operate. There will be restrictions — sexually oriented businesses must be 160 meters from schools, parks and recreational facilities.

However, there have also been requests that officials look at an even farther boundary.

Reportedly, city council has received many telephone calls posing concerns about increased crime and vulgar behavior in areas where the clubs will be located. This is largely hinged on the fact that a direct correlation is presumed to exist between sexual orientated businesses and crime rates.

In 2012, criminal justice professors Eric McCord and Richard Tewksbury published Does the Presence of Sexually Oriented Businesses Relate to Increased Levels of Crime? Their study was conducted in Jefferson County, Ky. to see if a direct relationship exists.

Their results showed that crime is 12.3 times more likely to occur within 150 meters of a sexually oriented business and 8.3 times more likely to occur within a 300 meter radius. These types of crimes are defined by McCord and Tewksbury as violent, disorderly conduct or property crimes.

Crime rates decrease as one moves farther away from a sexual orientated business, yet it is still unclear as to whether the businesses

themselves are placed in higher crime rate areas in the first place or if higher crime rates follow the placement of such an establishment.

Along with the types of crimes listed above, there are other secondary effects of sexual orienated businesses that are strikingly common. These types of businesses often leave a trail of drug usage, prostitution, alcoholism as well as verbal, sexual and physical abuse.

Strip clubs are trashy and amoral. Allowing a strip club to be built means allowing those who work there to be objectified, lusted over and degraded. The person working is paid to show off their body and is sometimes encouraged to do more than just a lap dance behind VIP walls. It’s the farthest thing from a business that upholds dignity or the value of human beings.

I would never step foot in a strip club and I do not support their existence. I never want my body to be objectified in that way and it concerns me that some people are okay with that behavior.

Of course, the reaction to these reasons for hating on the stripping business is simple: if you do not support strip clubs, then don’t go to them and don’t work in them. Trust me, I won’t.

But other people will, and there will be people working in these clubs in our city. While some may choose this occupation, others enter such lines of work due to lack of education, skills or as means of obtaining financial security. Objectifying your body in this way pays the bills.

And it’s no small business; the annual global strip club revenue is $75 billion according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics in 2012.

Compared to other parts of the world, Canada is generally much more conservative when it comes to strip clubs.

Calgary, Alta. has rules requiring a minimum of three feet between customers and strippers while onstage.

Saskatchewan has survived without strip clubs thus far, and we certainly don’t need them now. But with the new legislation in place, these types of businesses will begin popping

STEPHANIE MAH

up. Because of the potential for alcohol sales, the strip club industry may be a booming one, offering something that Saskatchewan cities have not seen in the past.

Strip clubs will create a different dynamic to the adult entertainment offered in Saskatchewan. The essential thing here will be to make sure they are regulated and have restrictions and limitations that are enforced.

It is crucial that neighborhoods and communities’ wishes for boundaries are both heard and taken into consideration. Violent crime and other consequences may or may not

result from the addition of these businesses, but being aware that it can happen is important.

The placement and limitations of strip clubs will continue to be debated by Saskatoon’s city council in the upcoming months. I hope regulations are strict for the sake of the neighborhoods and the strippers.

Regardless, you won’t find me at these businesses. I’d rather spend my loonies on something else.

subsequently sat on a hefty sum of gold — a concrete currency backed by thousands of years of trade.

De Gaulle stated during the following press conference that “the gold standard is the ultimate economic system because gold is a neutral judge of the exchange of wealth.” Of course, this irked the American government immensely and they reacted by placing a moratorium on the other country’s ability to do as France had done.

It would seem that Nixon himself realised the U.S. dollar was not as all powerful as he wanted it to be. Nixon paired up with globalist Henry Kissinger and introduced the petrodollar.

This series of economic measures taken by the president has since been known as the Nixon Shock. In 1975, every member of the Organization of Petrol Export in Countries agreed to sell their oil only in U.S. dollars.

King Faisal of Saudi Arabia was on board with the plan as he had been promised protection of his oil store by the American military.

The birth of the petrodollar essentially marks the start of a death-backed dollar, meaning that the dollar currently in use is being held in place by sheer force and American military presence in over 150 nations. It is intrinsically worthless and if the U.S. dollar was not the world reserve currency it would literally be impossible for America’s debt to be as high as it is.

This lack of foresight filters down to every American with an overdrawn bank account and maxed-out Visa.

The machine fuelling the intrinsically worthless dollar in America — and globally, when used for trade — is the Federal Reserve

Bank. When the American government and banks need money, they don’t issue American notes backed by their own credit, they issue treasury bonds.

So the Federal Reserve creates money from thin air, lends the money to the U.S. and then charges interest on the money. With this system, there will never be enough U.S. currency in existence to pay back the debt it creates.

Since the introduction of the Federal Reserve in 1913, the dollar has lost 95 per cent of its value. The world is becoming disenchanted with this nonsensical method of business and gold and silver are making a comeback. That’s why Russia and China are hoarding gold: they currently have to deal with American inflation whenever they use the petrodollar and obviously that is a negative for them.

This could create a crisis in America in a few years similar to the one Japan has recently been enduring. The loss of Japan as America’s second largest creditor will be detrimental, though Japan is not in as bad of a situation as the U.S. In 2009 they had a trade surplus of $56.2 billion compared to America’s trade deficit of $374.9 billion.

Both countries import most of their oil, but the U.S. can’t afford to pay for their own while Japan can through the export of automobiles and televisions. America has the blessing of agriculture, however, and could be selfsufficient as long as they have oil to run the machinery.

If the U.S. can’t afford to import oil then they won’t be producing any agricultural goods.

This massive problem is much less well known by the general public than it ought to be.

The end of the petrodollar NATALIE DAVIS

The American petrodollar is nearing the end of its existence and its imminent collapse will usher in a tidal wave of reform for the global economy. We need to be aware of the worldwide monetary situation with respect to the end of the petrodollar, especially if we expect to improve it.

The petrodollar can be defined as a notional monetary unit earned by a country from the export of petroleum. Petro-currency has been the main method of world trade for the last 40 years.

In 1971, the petrodollar system was introduced by President Richard Nixon. It removed the United States from the remnants of the Bretton Woods System which had been in effect since 1944. The former system was a global finance plan that emerged from the Bretton Woods conference — a gathering of all 44 Allied Nations in Bretton Woods, N. H. that lasted from July 1 – 22, 1944.

The main goal of the conference was to restabilize a global economy that had suffered ruin during the Great Depression and the Second World War. Two major institutions still in use that emerged from the Bretton Woods Conference are the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund.

The major outcome of the conference was the emergence of a gold-backed currency and the agreement that the U.S. dollar would be the world reserve currency.

The Bretton Woods system worked smoothly for some time but encountered difficulty during the Vietnam War. The American government

CODY SCHUMACHER/GRAPHICS EDITOR

was funnelling their money into a war with a country that had no natural resources to speak of and was thus looked at by most world leaders as a useless conquest.

Leaders of countries like France and Spain began to doubt the stability of the U.S. dollar, which apparently could be printed out of thin air and used as real cash. The French President at the time, Charles de Gaulle, made the astute observation that the U.S. was bankrupting itself with this action due to the fact that they did not have enough gold to back their dollar.

De Gaulle saw this development start to unfold and famously asked the U.S. government to kindly exchange all the U.S. dollars that France had on reserve for gold bars of equal value. He’s quoted in a 1965 speech as saying that “a monetary system based on a single nation’s currency is a danger to the world.”

Nixon, under the terms of Bretton Woods, had no choice but to oblige and France

13 Alleged child soldier deserves lesser sentence OPINIONS

10 October, 2013 • thesheaf.com

MATTHEW CHILLIAK Because of the treatment Omar Khadr has been put through, Canada has shamefully become a country that defies international standards concerning child soldiers.

Khadr recently passed his first year in the Canadian prison system with a court hearing on whether or not he would be allowed to transfer to a provincial jail from the maximum security federal penitentiary where he is now imprisoned. This is after Khadr spent nearly a decade in the United States Guantanamo Bay detention facility and was transferred to the Canadian prison system under a plea deal made with U.S. authorities — all for war crimes he allegedly committed while he was a child soldier of just 15 years of age.

For those who are unaware of who Khadr is, here is a quick rundown: born in 1986 in Toronto to parents of Egyptian origin, Omar’s family moved around frequently from Canada, Pakistan and Afghanistan.

In 2002, Khadr was captured by U.S. troops during their invasion of Afghanistan following the 9/11 attacks. While there are varying reports of the firefight that Khadr was afterwards found in, it is alleged that he threw a grenade that killed a U.S. soldier during the end of the battle.

Being the lone survivor among the U.S. targets in the battle, Khadr was captured, interrogated harshly and eventually transferred to the notoriously cruel Guantanamo Bay detention facility. Omar had at one point confessed to the killing, though it was under the dubious circumstances of U.S. interrogation methods that have been described by many as torturous.

Khadr was the first person since the Second World War to be tried by a military commission for alleged war crimes committed while a minor. The firefight that Khadr was caught up in was fierce and photos of him following the fight resemble that of a dead child with a pale face, a gash that extends from one shoulder all the way to his abdomen and an eye that required taping to stay in place.

The torture — or interrogation as the U.S. calls it — that Khadr was placed under after

his capture and throughout most his time in U.S. custody included numerous shameful acts.

Khadr was threatened with rape as well as being attacked by military dogs. He was often sleep deprived and placed in solitary confinement or had his hands tied above a door frame for hours. As a prisoner he had cold water thrown on him or had a bag placed over his head. This poor teenager was made to carry 5-gallon pails of water to aggravate his shoulder wound and was repeatedly forced to urinate on himself.

For an adult to go through these cruel acts would be hard, but for a young child it would be a nightmare.

Any admissions of guilt under such conditions are recognized by many experts in criminal psychology as unreliable and invalid because of the nature under which they were obtained. With the right amount of pain inflicted, a person will admit to almost anything to stop the suffering.

Many prominent international groups such as Amnesty International, UNICEF and the Canadian Bar Association classify Khadr as a child soldier and recommend his release. Even Radhika Coomaraswamy, the UN secretarygeneral's special representative for children and armed conflict, noted in a press release that Khadr represents the "classic child soldier narrative: recruited by unscrupulous groups to undertake actions at the bidding of adults to fight battles they barely understand."

Yet the Canadian government continues to push the Conservative tough-on-everything agenda (which includes child soldiers apparently) by remaining steadfast that Khadr deserves all that has come to him and will come to him in the future.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper claimed at a news conference in Ottawa that Khadr "is an individual who, as you know, pled guilty to very serious crimes including murder,” and that ”it is very important that we continue to vigorously defend against any attempts, in court, to lessen his punishment for these heinous acts."

It is hard to imagine after having nearly been killed by U.S. firepower — which included

substantial aerial bombings and attacks by approximately 100 soldiers — that Khadr was so intent on continuing the battle that he decided to pick up and throw a grenade.

Regardless of whether he threw that one fatal grenade, though, Khadr was a child when the alleged offense took place and should therefore be treated as such.

Instead, he has been treated as a hardened terrorist who deserves nothing but the worst

treatment a kid could imagine. This is an affront to human decency and compassion that should shock anyone.

Canada has never been a place that comes to mind when thinking of countries that defy international standards and principles concerning child soldiers, but that has now changed.

THE PRIME MINISTER’S OFFICE/FLICKR

Prime Minister Harper refuses to lessen Omar Khadr’s sentence.

Winston’s English Pub & Grill Located in the historic Hotel Senator in the heart of downtown Saskatoon

Pints of Fun always at Winston’s!

Letter to the Editor Dear Editor, There are so many erroneous claims and dubious arguments made in Natalie Davis’ opinion piece, High Costs for Higher Education, that it is hard to know where to begin refuting it.

Universities receive funding from a number of key sources — students, governments, individuals and private corporations. For Davis, however, there are only two options: students pay or governments pay. This dichotomy obscures the reality of funding, which is much more complex than she makes it out to be.

I’d also like to point out the obvious: Saskatchewan did not run a deficit this year.

Saying that “the government is already running deficits and has no money available to increase funding” is completely false.

It is an especially bizarre argument given that Saskatchewan has seen unprecedented wealth creation and windfall corporate profits in the last few years. Why not raise taxes to help pay for education or have the private sector pay its fair share?

Davis uses the Quebec case to justify raising tuition fees on Saskatchewan students. The Quebec situation has nothing to do with us except that students there have shown great courage in denying tuition increases and standing up to the corporate university culture that Davis is defending.

Profs in Quebec are paid much lower than the national average.

Also, unlike Quebec, Saskatchewan can afford increases in government grants. By the way, many of the Quebec protests were in Montreal — a city with an anglophone university (McGill) and where the population is roughly 50 per cent anglophone. Making this into a EnglishFrench issue is simply wrong and antiFrench.

Journalists need to look at the facts. For decades Canadian students — including those in Quebec — have been required to disproportionately shoulder ever higher tuition while buildings crumble, classes are crammed, services are cut and upper administrators line their pockets with exorbitant salaries.

Dustin James McNichol PhD Student, History

Winston’s Goin’ to 72 Taps!

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Party in Churchill’s Underground Cellar Pub!!!

Open on Weekends below Winston’s Another great spot full of craft beer and tasty pints, come on down and party in the Underground!

United Kingdom Thursdays!

Famous mous Import Fridays!

Perfect Pint Saturday’s

British Pints Irish Pints All Scotches Shepard’s Pie’s Fish N’ Chips

All Winston’s Legendary Craft and Import beer line-up on Special starting at 4pm

Rotating Draft Pint Specials Weekly to keep it interesting!

14

OPINIONS

Let’s talk about our feelings TRAVIS HOMENUK Opinions Editor

Having emotional support in life can make or break who you become, what you do and who you choose to be with.

However, not everyone gets this unconditional love and support from their parents, friends or partners. In some cases, it’s the apathetic attitudes of those in our lives that hurts us more than having someone downright disagree with our decisions.

On the surface, apathy seems like a less confrontational alternative to an argument or a pronounced disapproval — but does the silent treatment really work? If we choose to be apathetic, we’re showing a complete disregard for feelings or emotions. Hello, Mr. Roboto.

Unlike our friends in the animal kingdom, humans are fully capable of showing and verbally expressing emotions, so we should probably ignore our apathetic tendencies and get all emotional up in here. Cry, scream, yell or just talk.

While I know certain subjects are hard to breach when you know the person you’re talking to may very well disapprove — sexuality, dating or educational decisions all come to mind — talking about them is healthier than not.

At least if someone disagrees with what you’re doing, they are still invested in your life and show that they care about your existence through and through. If, for example, your parent disapproves of your new relationship after demanding to meet the new boy or girl you’ve been out with all night, at least you know they care.

Some parents refuse to acknowledge their

10 October, 2013 • thesheaf.com

son or daughter’s sexuality while others can’t be bothered to attend their kid’s convocation because they don’t approve of the path down which their child is going. Ignoring things you do not like about someone isn’t going to make them go away. It’s only going to piss everybody off and create tension.

On the flip side, when something really good happens — when you fall head-overheels in love, graduate from university, get a great job or finally figure out what the hell you want to do with your life — you need to hear the roaring applause from those in your life who matter most. We may think we don’t need the positive reinforcement from our supporters, but deep down we do.

Sometimes these interactions are annoying as hell, but the general propelling factor behind questioning or supporting the activities in someone else’s life is an overall concern for the other person. This is a good thing.

While I’m no shrink, I’m pretty sure on a fundamental level we all need to feel that someone cares about what’s going on in our lives. At least, that’s what I’ve learned throughout my 22 years of life.

Perhaps there are some of us who live like cats; such people don’t need to feel overly loved and subsequently hate most people — but maybe those of us who function like this have never known the alternative.

And yes, having cat-like independence can be a good thing but, as the Beatles said, “we get by with a little help from our friends.”

Be independent, but also know when you need support or assistance — regardless of whether it’s on an emotional, physical or financial level.

Everyone functions and deals with

situations differently. If you’re invested in someone else’s life, knowing how they deal with life’s problems is the best thing you can learn to do.

For some, being apathetic might be exactly how they initially need to deal with an issue.

Someone important to me calls himself a “deliberator,” which essentially means he has to mull something over in his head first before he talks about it with anyone. Then, it usually helps if someone else draws the information out of him.

It’s funny; lots of people want to talk about serious things but they more often than not don’t know how to get the conversation going themselves.

But the good friends, parents and partners in our lives will note when something is off and requires an engaging discussion to seek resolution. That’s what makes relationships in all walks of life so dynamic: they require two people to make them work.

If you’re lucky, you’ve probably got someone in your life that is your venting station and subsequent support on which you can lean. Maybe it’s your mom, dad, partner or even cat because “he just gets you.” The bottom line is we all need someone to support us along the way.

And because I’m hell-bent on getting people to toss aside their apathetic ways, I encourage those of you who have supportive friends, parents and partners to acknowledge them.

Let’s be emotional, talkative and cause fights. The only chance we all have of becoming healthy, stable and emotionally aware adults is by dealing with the shit from our past and our present.

Internet hugs: the new brand of lonely MEGAN FEDORCHUK

Lost? There’s an app for that. Need a place to eat? There’s an app for that. Can’t grow a moustache? There is even an app for that.

Long story short, name any want or need and there is probably an app for it — along with 37 seemingly identical alternatives. Are we quickly becoming over-reliant on technology?

I’ve only recently come to terms with technology’s takeover of simple day-to-day operations. Take conversation, for example: some individuals would rather chat with their friends through their iPhones as opposed to the friends across the table. And that’s fine.

Am I annoyed with my reliance on technology? Yes. Maybe even a little bitter?

You caught me. But never before have I been more averse to technological advancement than when watching a video clip of Adrian David Cheok, the first person to ever hug a chicken via the Internet.

In my lifetime, I’ve witnessed multiple variations of mobile phones replacing landlines, text messaging replacing voice calls and even images replacing text messages. We all have.

Despite feeling a very innate resistance towards most alternative forms of communication, I always took comfort in the belief that technology lacks something ­— a certain je ne sais quoi.

The “hey, what’s up” received over text isn’t quite as exhilarating as the call to your cell. A ten-second image from your bestie just doesn’t

add up to stories shared over a cup of coffee.

And quite frankly, three-minute face-to-face conversations can replace drawn out three-day text compilations any day of the week.

This belief stood firm, unshaken by any app on the market, until Cheok showed up.

So what does hugging a chicken via the

CODY SCHUMACHER/GRAPHICS EDITOR

Internet have to do with society’s potential plummet into technological turmoil? Well for the sake of the decreasing attention span, I shall provide the Reader’s Digest version.

Cheok engineered a jacket to be worn by chickens. Embedded in each jacket are vibrating elements that were designed to replicate a hug

or pet. To deliver this chicken love, the jacket was wirelessly connected to the Internet so that when Cheok patted sensors on a chicken doll the live foul would feel it too.

At first there was no relevance. Then slowly but surely the wheels start turning and I thought, “I wonder if this could be applied to humans?”

Enter the theoretical Huggy Pajama, a pair of jammies that can be used by parents away from home to deliver a ‘hug’ to their child at the touch of a button.

Maybe it’s just me, but the thought of technology replacing virtually all forms of human contact is simply terrifying.

Continue to contemplate the applications of Cheok’s technology and its public acceptance becomes all too possible: pets are no longer a reason to rush home at lunch, children are kept at their affection quota regardless of parents’ whereabouts and long-distance relationships are stronger than ever. What’s not to love?

What could possibly go wrong?

Call me old-fashioned, but I think real-life experiences are the bees’ knees. And perhaps if I remain strong in my fight against technology, I can live my life chicken-jacket free.

My only fear is that while others are troubled by the isolating effects of their smartphones, laptops and virtual realities, I myself might fabricate a whole new brand of lonely and with no one left to have an actual conversation with.

Coffee, anyone?

CODY SCHUMACHER/GRAPHICS EDITOR

Letter to the Editor Dear Editor, The University of Saskatchewan is suffering from a fiscal crisis and cutting many jobs. One way that the university could save a lot of money is by eliminating its department

of drama. This is an almost worthless department which does inconsequential research and offers an unimportant nonacademic program.

Many of the best actors never took any acting training. Practical non-academic

training like acting, dancing and singing belongs in community colleges — not universities. Students shouldn't be able to act, dance or sing their way to degrees.

When the department of drama offers degrees, it devalues the reputation of a degree

from the U of S. When this department does research, it devalues the research reputation of the U of S. Ashu M. G. Solo

15

HUMOUR

10 October, 2013 • thesheaf.com

Campus Chat What’s your favourite part of Thanksgiving?

The turkey, because I like feeling bloated.

Matt Baker & Zach Yuzdepski

Fake News

Visiting with family.

The food coma.

Jackie Kiel

Pumpkin everything.

Meghan Clancy & Angela Toma

Evan Parker

Crossword

Laid-off university employees become criminals With more and more jobs being lost at the University of Saskatchewan, laid-off employees are finding themselves broke and desperate.

However, a group of terminated workers have found a way to continue working on campus — that is, if you considering stealing as work.

Former manager of electrical systems, operating under the name Randy Rubber, is the leader of the Library Liberty Group.

Consisting of former U of S employees, the LLG poses as students in campus libraries and pounces on unattended textbooks and computers. The thieves then sell the stolen merchandise on the black market.

“I’ve been making at least $500 a day,” said Rubber. “I can’t believe how easy it is to steal shit.”

Rubber, along with five to seven disguised cohorts, walk the aisles of the libraries for hours waiting to strike on unattended belongings. They work with earbud radios, though they never use weapons.

Valaria Muskaviva, a foreign exchange student from Ukraine, had her MacBook and geology textbook stolen from the North Wing of the Murray Library.

“I must drink lots of coffee to stay awake at school, and so my bladder must be emptied many times a day,” said Muskaviva. “When I got back from the water closet, my things were gone. Now I must go back to Ukraine with much shame to my family.”

Protective Services have received at least five reports of library thefts per day since Sept. 1 and hasn’t been able to nab the criminals yet.

Rumour has it that a rival gang of former office assistants known as the Bathroom Bandits are stealing toiletry products from bathrooms and selling them to hotels and restaurants at a reduced cost.

“Good luck wiping your asses,” said the unidentifiable leader of the Bathroom Bandits.

Across

1- Warm season; 7- Foxy; 10- 3:00; 14- Chant; 15- Actress Farrow; 16- 365 days; 17- Legally responsible; 18- East ender?; 19- Author ___ Stanley Gardner; 20- Capital of Utah; 23- Port-au-Prince is its capital; 26- UFO pilots; 27- Surmise; 28- Hungary's Nagy; 29- Loser to DDE; 30- Cut (off); 31- Deluge; 33- "Rope-a-dope" boxer; 34- Prizm maker; 37- Mine find; 38- ___ degree; 39- Ballet step; 40- Ages; 41- Bit of film, to a photog; 42- Neckwear; 43- Ardent; 45- Curve; 46- Stutz contemporary; 47- San Francisco's ___ Tower; 48- Deadly virus; 51- Tampa Bay player, for short; 52- Hersey's bell town; 53- Cone of a juniper; 56- Gen. Robert ___; 57- Front part of an apron; 58- Even chance; 62- Extended family; 63- Actor Vigoda; 64- Isolate; 65- Makes lace; 66- ___ darn tootin'!; 67- Female sibling;

Down

1- Part of RSVP; 2- Verse starter?; 3- 1959 Kingston Trio hit; 4- Member of a criminal mob; 5- China's Zhou ___; 6- Film spool; 7- Separates metal from ore; 8- Turkish money; 9- Pull abruptly; 10- Device for applying ocular rinse; 11- Lofty nest; 12- Old sailors; 13- Low cards; 21- Prepare to eat, in a way; 22- Self-centered person; 23- Try to pick up; 24- Love, Italian-style; 25- Like some vbs.; 29- Caper; 30- Grassy plain; 32- Snare; 33- Each; 34- Columbus's birthplace; 35- Red fluorescent dye; 36- ___ a customer; 44- Molting; 45- Foreigners; 46- Eraser; 48- Bounce; 49- Papal seal; 50- ___ a time; 51- Influential offering; 52- Rice-___; 54- Auction site; 55- Numbered rds.; 59- Fast flier; 60- Suffix with glob; 61- For each; Crossword puzzles provided by Bestcrosswords.com (http://www.bestcrosswords.com).

Used with permission. Visit thesheaf.com/crossword for weekly answers.

THE sheaf

Have an opinion you would like to share? opinions@thesheaf.com

16

BACKPAGE

10 October, 2013 • thesheaf.com

It’s Your Campus.

It’s Your USSU.

Participate in the USSU Annual General Meeting.

6:00 p.m. Thursday November 21, 2013 Neatby Timlin Theatre, Room 241 Arts Bring your student card.

All bylaw amendments can be emailed to agm@ussu.ca, by 4:30 p.m. Friday November 8, 2013.

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Come check out the modern new space.

Campus Club Events, Banquets, Fundraisers, Receptions, and Weddings.

Call 306-966-7002 for bookings Upper Memorial Union Building 306.966.6901• www.ussu.ca/louisloft

Recognize professors who demonstrate teaching excellence at the U of S.

Nominations open October 21, 2013 For more information and amendment form visit: www.ussu.ca

Nomination forms are available at

www.ussu.ca