March 24, 2016 by The Sheaf

OPINIONS

USSU QUIZ

NATIONAL CHAMPS

FLUFFY THERAPY 11 CULTURE

CHEAP LIVING

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SPORTS

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NEWS

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March 24, 2016

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NEWS

Jack Saddleback wins CBC Future 40 contest JESSICA KLAASSEN-WRIGHT On Mar. 14, University of Saskatchewan Students’ Union president Jack Saddleback gained national recognition for his numerous efforts and accomplishments in the university and provincial community, a win

that marks him among a new generation of leaders and change-makers in Saskatchewan. Since 2013, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation has annually honoured exceptional Saskatchewan residents in the CBC Saskatchewan Future 40 Under 40 contest. Choosing from hun-

Supplied / Olivia Swerhone-Wick

dreds of names put forward by community members, an internal judging panel selects 40 winners under the age of 40 based on four criteria: professional contributions, outstanding service contributions to the community, effort and initiatives taken for better health and success in Saskatchewan and making a difference in the community. Saddleback, among the winners announced on the first day of the contest, felt humbled to have his name included with so many incredible people. He believes that this contest not only recognizes talented and driven individuals, but also supports community growth. “I think it is a good initiative that we recognize within our province for the hard work that [winners] do for the community and I honestly think that it brings us closer together … This is who we are as a province. We are very much a volunteer driven based group of people,” Saddleback said. This year, contest winners were organized into categories, including arts, culture and entertainment, business and entrepreneurship and teaching and healthcare, among others. Saddleback is a winner in the category of community, social activism and volunteerism. In his five years at the U of S, Saddleback, who is now completing his one-

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year term as USSU president, has also served two years as the Pride Centre co-ordinator and one year as the USSU vice-president student affairs. The contributions he has provided to the university over the years include advocacy for Aboriginal students and gender and sexually diverse students. Saddleback is particularly proud of the work he accomplished at the Pride Centre, including the success of an initiative to promote and organize gender neutral sweat lodges and pipe ceremonies on campus, hosted in conjunction with the Aboriginal Students’ Centre. “I am super proud of that aspect because that not only opened up a door for me to come back into my community and into my ceremony and my culture, that opened up a door for a number of individuals to come out and enjoy and partake in their own culture or learn a new culture in a safe, inclusive environment. And I remember the very first sweat that we had, the emotions that were there, the people that came. It resonated.” As the Pride Centre coordinator, Saddleback lobbied for change on campus surrounding issues of harassment and discrimination. As a result of this effort, the U of S was the first of a group of 15 research institutions in Canada to include two-spirit identities

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The Sheaf is a non-profit, incorporated and student-body funded partially by way of a direct levy paid by all part and full-time undergraduate students at the University of Saskatchewan (U of S). The remainder of the revenue is generated through advertising. The financial affairs are governed by a Board of Directors, most of whom are students. Membership in the Society is open to undergraduate students at the U of S who are encouraged to contribute to the newspaper. Opinions expressed in the Sheaf do not necessarily reflect those of the Sheaf Publishing Society Inc. The Sheaf reserves the right to refuse to accept or print any material deemed unfit for publication, as determined by the Editor-in-Chief. The Editor-in-Chief has the right to veto any submission deemed unfit for the Society newspaper. In determining this, the Editor-in-Chief will decide if the article or artwork would be of interest to a significant portion of the Society and benefit the welfare of Sheaf readers. The Sheaf will not publish any racist, sexist, homophobic or libelous material. The Sheaf is published weekly during the academic year and monthly from May through August.

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in its discrimination and harassment policy. “We now have it in policy, and we can confidently say that you are going to be respected and celebrated as who you are in all of your aspects here at the U of S,” he said. Saddleback’s work in the last year as part of the USSU executive has focused on mental health, something he struggles with himself, and he remains adamant that open discussions of mental health are critical. “I thought it was very important for me to speak up about not only my experiences, but also the need to create safe and nonstigmatized areas when it comes to mental health talk … There needs to be a lot of consultation that takes place with the mental health strategy. Not only should it be for students, it also needs to be for staff and faculty because our success also relies on their success, so we need support for the support.” Saddleback is gratified to have his work recognized in the Future 40 contest, and though his term as USSU president will soon come to an end, he is determined to continue working for issues he believes in, both at the university and in Saskatchewan. “I don’t really do this work for the pat on the back. What I do it for is seeing individuals being able to have a better life for themselves.”

The mission of the Sheaf is to inform and entertain students by addressing those issues that are relevant to life on campus, in the city, or in the province. The newspaper serves as a forum for discussion on a wide range of issues that concern students. Written for students by students, the staff of editors, photographers, and artists collaborate with volunteers as studentjournalists to produce a product with relevance to the university community. With each composition, the Sheaf stays in touch with students on the U of S campus. It provides unique insight to university issues through a student perspective.

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corrections There were no errors brought to our attention in our last issue. If you spot any errors in this issue, please email them to: copy@thesheaf.com

march 24, 2016

NEWS

Women’s Centre addresses stigma in pro-choice awareness campaign PATTY HAILS In preparation for this year’s Pro-Choice Awareness Week, volunteers from the University of Saskatchewan Students’ Union Women’s Centre met on Mar. 17 to review talking points on the contentious issue of reproductive choice. This year’s awareness campaign points to the stigma that women face when they choose to have an abortion. The event’s website counters common anti-abortion narratives, citing a study that suggests only five per cent of women regret the decision to have an abortion. It says that of that five per cent, most live in communities that heavily stigmatize abortion and lack support. The Women’s Centre has a table in the Arts Tunnel Mar. 21–24 to offer information and resources. Monica Gordon, a recent U of S psychology graduate, volunteers at the Women’s Centre and speaks to the objectives of the initiative. “The goals are mostly to provide a pro-choice presence on campus, to make women who have had abortions know that there are people out there who support them and, with this campaign specifically, to ask people to think critically about how they might be stigmatizing women who have had abortions,” Gordon said. While a third of middleaged Canadian women are reported to have terminated a pregnancy at some point, a

2014 study published in the Journal of Sociological Science by New York University professor Sarah Cowan found that only half of those polled say they know someone who has had an abortion, suggesting something of a disconnect according to Gordon. She and other volunteers at the Women’s Centre say they want students faced with unplanned pregnancies to be secure in the knowledge that their autonomy and decisions are supported. “While we don’t think this is an issue that affects us or affects people that we know, it is. There are plenty of students on this campus who have had abortions but who just don’t feel like it’s safe to talk about them or make them known. So we want to create a culture where it’s safe for them to be open about their reproductive choices,” Gordon said. Gordon attributes the stigma and misinformation surrounding abortion to an emotionally unsafe culture for students. “There’s research to show that the idea that abortion is an inherently traumatizing experience for women isn’t true. You don’t have to be a psychology major to know that bullying and ostracizing and judging women who have had abortions can be very psychologically damaging. That’s why we’re saying that abortion stigma hurts women, and we’re asking people to be aware of how they might be

perpetuating stigma,” Gordon said. Ashley Clouthier, a fourthyear English and history student and volunteer for the Women’s Centre, stresses the significance of visibility in dismantling pro-choice stereotypes. Along with other volunteers, she seeks to make students aware of the resources available to them, including their own agency. “Our goal with Pro-Choice Awareness Week is to just make sure everybody knows that we are here too, and that we are supporting whatever choice a pregnant person needs to make,” Clouthier said. Gordon mentions that it is not simply a matter of preaching to the converted. The services offered by the Women’s Centre are available to all U of S students including those with different opinions and experiences. “Everyone of course is entitled to an opinion, but we specifically want to make it clear that we support women no matter what their experiences are. We’re not just going to support women if their ex-

Tuition. Budgets. Building projects. Policies.

perience furthers our political agenda,” Gordon said. In terms of access to abortion care in Saskatchewan, there are clinics in Saskatoon and in Regina, and Gordon reasons that residents of the province might be more mobilized with increased awareness. “I think a lot of it is because people are afraid to push for improved access because of abortion stigma. And even if they’re someone who hasn’t had an abortion, they don’t want to

bring that stigma down on themselves.” According to Clouthier, the campaign’s take-home message is one of inclusivity. “All abortion experiences are valid. Nobody should be made to feel bad because they didn’t regret their abortion and also nobody should feel like they can’t come to us because they do regret their abortion. Because we will be supportive, no matter what,” Clouthier said. “Our door is always open.”

Jeremy Britz / Graphics Editor

Meet the people who make the financial decisions—your Board of Governors. Join the U of S Board of Governors for an informal reception at Louis’ Loft. This is your opportunity to chat with your board members one-on-one.

LOUIS’ LOFT MONDAY, MARCH 28 4 – 6 PM INTRODUCTIONS 4:30 PM ALL STUDENTS WELCOME A COMPLIMENTARY REFRESHMENT AND LIGHT SNACKS WILL BE SERVED

march 24, 2016

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NEWS

Introducing your 2016-17 USSU executive candidates VP OPERATIONS & FINANCE

KEIGHLAGH DONOVAN News Editor

With campaign posters plastered across campus, University of Saskatchewan students are anticipating the 2016-17 U of S Students’ Union executive election. Choosing from a diverse group of nine candidates, students can make their decision through the vote channel on their PAWS account

with polls opening at 9 a.m. on Mar. 23 and closing at 4 p.m. on Mar. 24. In accordance with the annual election comes the Sheaf’s USSU executive election quiz, based on a series of short answer questions testing the candidate’s knowledge of U of S history and current events.

*FOR MORE ON THE USSU CANDIDATES AND TO VIEW THE SHEAF QUIZ, VISIT THESHEAF.COM.

PRESIDENT

Kehan Fu

Jamie Labrecque

“To sum up why you should vote for me, I think it’s because in our campaign we have demonstrated a lot of passion, both for what I enjoy but also for why I think students need to be at the forefront of every agenda. Our campaign has been very positive and, for us, student engagement comes first and foremost, with including as many people in the campaign as possible and making sure that as many voices are heard as possible.”

“I’m really passionate about students and making a difference, and making sure that they know when they ask people to do something, especially when it comes to an elected position, that they actually do it. So accountability is a really big factor for me. It’s the best way to let students know what the USSU is doing and how they can get involved and that there are actually services available to them that they could be using.”

Fourth-year political science Quiz score: 68%

Fourth-year chemical engineering Quiz score: 88%

VP STUDENT AFFAIRS

Renata Huyghebaert Fourth-year marketing Quiz score: 52%

“I will be very dedicated and I am very passionate about students. I would like to have students know that the main point is representation and inclusion and support for everyone, which I think is really important. The second part, I will work hard toward maximizing the student experience, which means having the best possible university experience for everyone. My third platform point, I will be very dedicated to getting a nap room on campus … I believe my job is to support students to the best of my capabilities and I am really serious about that.”

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Emmanauel Barker

Mahad Jama

Jordan Robertson

“I think that students should vote for me because I have a clear idea of the changes I would like to help make on campus. I want to try and make the campus a more fun place and a more accessible place by increasing funding to the student groups. I want to make it a more convenient place by introducing the TV screens in Place Riel. I want to make it a little safer place by introducing an app that connects people to the SafeWalk services. I want to make it easier for people to transition from school to work by introducing the student activities transcripts.”

“I really want to offer a much better experience and campus culture. Coming from another university, transferring over here, I have seen what other universities were capable of doing. I know what our school has to offer and our potential and I really want to capitalize on that potential for our students, to maximize our budget, making sure that our budget is going toward students who are paying union dues and not as much towards administration costs.”

“I’m a fourth-year finance student in the Edwards School of Business, I’ve been on the USSU for three years as a member of student council, I’ve been on the budget and finance committee for two of those years, as well as a bunch of other committees ... For our platform, I want to work on campus culture and working toward a more collaborative event with a cup throughout the year for all the colleges to partake, including rivalries, pranks and extend a lot of the old traditions and bring back kind of different things and work towards a better environment.”

Fifth-year international development studies Quiz score: 72%

Fourth-year business economics Quiz score: 35%

Fourth-year finance Quiz score: 83%

VP ACADEMIC AFFAIRS

Geneva Houlden Ahmed Abueidda

Second-year political studies Quiz score: 70%

Brooke Malinoski

“Being an international student myself makes me unique since I am the only international student among all the other candidates. I believe students do not struggle in university because of their lack of intelligence; why they may not succeed is because of the lack of a positive environment. One point of my platform is that I want to create a studentexchange program: sometimes, students have to skip classes for work, for medical reasons, for many things and if they had this program they can exchange notes as needed and I think that would be very helpful.”

“I wanted to keep my platform realistic and specific, I have three main pillars: The first one is quality and affordable education. I want tuition forecasting; I don’t think we should be having three midterms in 24 hours ... I want to make sure professors are being held accountable to university teaching standards. The second main pillar is to increase awareness for students about programs and opportunities for now and after university ... The third pillar, is to be your voice ... I think the USSU can be more active and engaging with students and I want to engage all of the colleges.”

“Students should vote for me because I am in my fourth year of studies and throughout these four years I have been really involved with a variety of different things on campus. I believe I have a really wellrounded experience and can speak for a lot of students that go to school here. I promise to be an outspoken advocate for students … Young people do not often stand up for themselves and I think I would be a very good person to do so, and I hope that the rest of the university sees that as well.”

Third-year business economics Quiz score: 75%

Fourth-year Indigenous studies and political studies Quiz score: 60%

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SPORTS

D g Watch: Robert Graham BRENDEN PALMER Towering at six foot six and occupying the middle blocker position on the Huskies men’s volleyball team, Robert Graham is a formidable force on the court, crushing the ball against his opponents with a quick attack from the centre and shutting them down with a strong block when they try to hit back. Graham has ended his fifth and final year with the Huskies and although he is no longer eligible to play, he looks back at his experience with the team warmly and is glad to have ended his final year on a high note. “It was as good of a final year as I could ask for. We extended our season as far as we could, we went to nationals and making the playoffs this year was very rewarding. The last time the Huskies were in the Canada West final was in 2005, and making it there this year was huge. It was my first experience being in a playoff game, and actually playing a crucial part. I’m really proud of our team for not giving up and being resilient on the

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road,” Graham said. That resilience has served Graham well over the years, on and off the court. At the age of five, he was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, something that hindered his ability to learn, but he wasn’t going to let it hold him back. “I found reading and writing very difficult and I was a very slow learner. I had some pretty bad social skills too, and I would often spend a lot of time alone,” Graham said. “My teachers weren’t the greatest supports either and they didn’t think that I’d make it past high school, but my parents thought otherwise and so did I.” With the help of his parents and some supportive educational assistants, Graham was able to overcome these obstacles and become a strong student. In the process, he discovered that he wanted to become a teacher in order to help those in need. “I know there are students out there that are going through the same thing that I did, and I know that some of them have it even worse. Teaching would allow me

Scott David Although his career is over, Graham will look back with nothing but fond memories.

to be a positive role model for those students, and give them a sense of hope and someone [who] believes in them,” he said. As the son of accomplished volleyball player and former Huskies volleyball head coach, Graham was encouraged to hit the court at a young age, playing his first volleyball game at eight years old. “To be honest, I hated volleyball when I first started playing it. If you’ve ever seen beginners playing, you’ll know that it can be hard to watch because the ball flies all over the court. It’s very difficult to learn how to bump and set the ball, and your wrists and forearms can get very sore from the impact. Eventually, I told my mom that I wanted to quit,” Graham said. Despite expressing his disdain for the sport, Graham’s mother saw his potential to be a formidable volleyball player and encouraged him to stick with it. When he was in grade nine, Graham made the Saskatchewan Under-16 Provincial Volleyball Team, a turning point in his career. “It was a great communi-

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ty of players. All of the guys were funny and great to hang out with and I didn’t want it to end. After that, I was really motivated to excel at the game and the rest took off from there,” he said. Off the court, Graham enjoys the visual arts, voice acting and writing. He is currently writing a fantasyadventure novel and one day hopes to be a published author. Although Graham will no longer be on the court as a player, he plans to use the skills he has learned over the years to coach students on the court when he becomes a teacher. Graham believes that the lessons learned on the court are not only useful to athletes, but can be applied to life in general as well. “Things aren’t always going to be pretty. In the end, it really only takes one person to make your goals a reality, which is yourself,” Graham said. “Sometimes things aren’t going to start out great but it’s a test to see how strong you are as an individual, and if you work hard and don’t give up, you can overcome those obstacles.”

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SPORTS

Huskies hockey season ends in heartbreak

Huskies win first national championship

AUSTIN ARVAY Sports Editor

Earning the second seed for the University Cup tournament, the Huskies men’s hockey team were pushed to their limits. However, playing in the two longest games in tournament history in back-to-back outings turned out to be a blessing and a curse for the green and white. In the quarterfinals, they were matched up against the seventh seeded Carleton University Ravens, who earned their spot with a bronze medal in their conference. The teams were evenly matched and were both fighting to continue their season, as the loser was eliminated from championship contention. The Huskies led 1–0 and 2–1, with Levi Cable and Kohl Bauml both scoring on the powerplay. However, on both occasions, the Ravens battled back to tie the game. Still deadlocked after 60 minutes of action, overtime — and plenty of it — was needed to find a winner. The Huskies outshot the Ravens 69–60 in the seven periods and finally, in quadruple overtime, after 116:11 of play, Parker Thomas was the hero as he banged in a rebound to send the Dogs into the semi-finals. Saskatchewan faced St. Francis Xavier in the second round and with a berth in the championship game on the line, it was another dramatic contest as the teams were again tied after regulation time. Cable scored the lone goal for the Huskies and his line had plenty of chances in the extra sessions. As the end of the third overtime neared with the game still tied at 1–1, Cable was called for a questionable penalty and sent the X-men to the powerplay. With many still in dismay at the weak penalty call, Michael Clarke snapped the winner past Jordon Cooke, ending both the game and the Dogs’ bid for a national title. Cooke was the player of the tournament for Saskatchewan, as he stopped 119 of 123 shots in the two marathon games. He also set the tournament record for most minutes played, never leaving the ice in either contest. In the third-place game, the Huskies were simply out of gas, having to play nearly four full games in the first three days of competition. They were defeated 5–2 by the Saint Mary’s University Huskies, who claimed the bronze on home ice as the eighth seed. Jesse Ross and Josh Roach had the goals for the Huskies as they finished the year with a 27–7–1 record, a Canada West championship and a fourth place finish at nationals.

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Supplied / James West Supplied / James West A convincing 85–71 win in the final over Ryerson gave them the championship. Rookie Sabine Dukate (#5) capped off her incredible season with 22 points in the final.

AUSTIN ARVAY Sports Editor

It was the magical conclusion to their Huskie careers that the senior members of the women’s basketball team dreamed of. After an 18–2 regular season, followed by a Canada West championship on home court, the only thing left to win was the Bronze Baby trophy. Using their size, skill, teamwork and sheer desire, the Huskies claimed their first Canadian Interuniversity Sport Championship in program history, with an 85–71 victory over the Ryerson University Rams in the final. They used the same recipe they had used all year, with fifth-years Laura Dally and Dalyce Emmerson coming up huge when it mattered most. They got contributions from their role players and rookie Sabine Dukate — a star in the making — powered the Huskies to a convincing victory. In her final game in green and white, Dally was superb, knocking down shot after shot and finishing with 25 points in the biggest game of her career. “I just tried to keep doing the same kind of thing, I focused on defence and took what their defence gave us and tried not to force anything,” Dally said. “I don’t know if it’s hit any of us yet, but it feels amazing. I’m so lucky to be a part of this group.” Coming out of the gates a little slow and trailing after the first quarter, the Huskies found their stride in the second frame and took a 42–40 lead into the locker room. Head coach Lisa Thomaidis made some fantastic adjustments and the Dogs dominated in the second half, especially down the stretch when it mattered most. With just over seven minutes to play, the Huskies were clinging to

a two-point lead. But from there, it was all Saskatchewan, as they closed out the game on a 16–4 run and proved they’re the number one team in the country. Emmerson was named Tournament Most Valuable Player as she recorded a double-double in all three games — including a 25 point, 17 rebound effort in the semi-final. Emmerson also donned the uniform for the final time on Mar. 20, but she does so with nothing else to prove. She is a two-time CanWest champion, a two-time All-Canadian, the CanWest MVP in 2013 and now finally, a national champion. “It’s so exhilarating and so exciting for us. It’s so surreal — it’s bittersweet because my career is done but it couldn’t have ended in a better way. Right now, I couldn’t be more happy about it,” Emmerson said. “Nothing was different. I knew it was the last kick at the can for us but I just wanted to bring composure and calmness to our team. For me, it was just a matter of let's get this business done that we came here for. We weren’t there to joke around — we knew what we wanted and that’s what we went after.” While it is sad that Dally, Emmerson and Kelsey Trulsrud have exhausted their CIS eligibility, they have most definitely left their mark on the program. Ending their careers on a high note and in the way they did it, made their coach proud. “Our team was so dialed in this weekend, it was really special to watch. We knew Ryerson was going to be a tremendous challenge, but we felt we were deeper and we’d been here before, we had a little more experience,” Thomaidis said. “We have Dalyce, we have Laura, we have Sabine — all of them played their hearts out and I’m so proud of them to finish off their careers this way.”

Supplied / James West Dalyce Emmerson (#13) was named Tournament MVP for her performance.

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Although the two senior captains were instrumental in the championship run, it’s the entire team that made this win possible. Trulsrud and Desarae Hogberg were defensive catalysts all year for the Huskies and the freshman Dukate stepped up on numerous occasions when the team needed her most. That’s what it takes to be a championship team — not the solo efforts by two or three players, but an entire team coming together and supporting each other, assuming whatever role is required of them and playing for the logo on the front of the jersey. It’s not about the individual accolades or stats, but putting the team first and doing whatever it takes to win. Emmerson says this is a special group that employs the “team-first” mentality and without the efforts of all 13 members, this wouldn’t have been possible. “This is my second family. We spend two-plus hours every day together — watching film, practicing, shooting, lifting weights. You get to know each other pretty well and these girls know me better than anyone else,” Emmerson said. “That cohesion was huge and we all had so much trust on the floor all weekend and we knew if we all stuck together we could do it — that was the main factor in us winning yesterday.” Having all been through their share of losses and heartbreak in their career, it’ll be nice to revel in this victory. Regardless of what happens for the rest of their lives, they’ll always be national champions and share that bond between them. With all their hard work this season culminating in one final game, it was an ending they had only dreamed of at the beginning of the season. But now, six months later, it’s a reality — and it’s one nobody will forget anytime soon.

Supplied / James West It was an emotional win, as it was the first title for the women’s basketball program.

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SPORTS

Huskie How-to: A beginner’s guide to being a sports fan CHELSEA POWRIE

Culture Editor Students at the University of Saskatchewan know that this campus has a ton of Huskie pride. If you’re the type of person who starts sweating when the conversation turns into “Hey, did you catch the game last night?” don’t worry — it’s easy to pick up the basics. While there are many Huskies teams, the big three are football, basketball and hockey, so that’s a good place to start.

Follow this easy guide to the main ideas of each sport and what’s enjoyable about being a fan, and you’ll be decked out in green and white face paint in no time. FOOTBALL Game setup: 12 players per side, and at any given moment one team is playing offence, which means they are in possession of the football. Their quarterback is on the field and they are attempting to score, while the other team is on defence. There are four 15-minute quarters of active playing time. Basic idea: the quarterback of the team on offence throws or runs the ball, while the de-

Courtney Ritchie With the help of this beginner’s guide, you’ll be a Huskie superfan in no time.

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fence attempts to tackle, block or intercept the forward motion. The offence has three attempts, or “downs,” to gain 10 yards, otherwise the ball is kicked back to the other team and the offence and defence switch. When the ball is carried into or caught in the end zone, a six-point “touchdown” is awarded to the offence, followed by a potential further point if their kicker can then kick the football between the upright goal posts to score a conversion. Field goals are kicking attempts during a third down and are worth three points. Reasons to cheer: Huskies interception of the opposing quarterback’s throw, successful Huskies field goals or the Huskies defence shutting down the opposing offence. Reasons to boo: sacks by the other team — meaning they tackle the Huskies quarterback before he throws the ball. Why you care: Huskies home games are a big deal — they shoot off fireworks to celebrate every scoring play. Plus, the league that the Huskies play in is small enough that any team has a shot at an ex-

citing playoff run. BASKETBALL Game setup: five players per side, each guarding their team’s basket. There are four 10-minute quarters of active playing time. Basic idea: move the ball down the court by dribbling or passing it between team members in order to accumulate “baskets” — sinking the ball into the other team’s hoop. Two points for a regular basket, three for a basket shot from behind the three-point line, which is an arc painted on the court marking approximately 20 feet from the net. Reasons to cheer: successful Huskie free throws, three-point baskets or successful blocks of the opponent’s basket attempts. Reasons to boo: personal fouls against the Huskies, which often involve pushing or shoving another player instead of using their body to block or defend. Why you care: the Huskies women’s basketball team was a dominant force throughout the 2015–16 season, claiming the first ever national championship in the history of the program. Coming off a high like that, the team will be full of energy and determined to keep

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up the momentum — plus their rivals will be out for blood. Everyone loves a good dramatic conflict. HOCKEY Game setup: six players per side, one of which is a goaltender, on opposing ends of the rink. There are three 20-minute periods of regulation time. Basic idea: put the puck in the net as many times as possible without breaking any rules — players are penalized for infractions by sitting in the penalty box for a few minutes while their team plays one person short. Reasons to cheer: any Huskies goal! Hockey games rarely have final scores above single digits, so each one is exciting and important. Reasons to boo: offside calls or cheap shots from the other team that the referee misses — like a slash from a stick when there’s no puck nearby. Why you care: the Huskies men’s hockey team was on fire this season, skating their way to the Canada West banner. There’s also nothing more Canadian than heading to the rink with a fresh cup of Tim Horton’s coffee to cheer on the local boys.

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FEATURE

Les Belles-Soeurs: Your backstage pass to a Greystone production CAITLIN TAYLOR

Photo Editor

Carla Orosz, production manager and professor of Drama 110, helps her students install wallpaper.

After countless hours of painting sets, hanging lights, rehearsing lines and fitting costumes, the University of Saskatchewan’s Greystone Theatre is ready to unveil its latest production, Les Belles-Sœurs. This English adaptation of Michel Tremblay’s witty French tale takes you back in time to 1960s

Montrèal, where the image of the perfect housewife is not all that it seems. With the co-operation of many staff and students from seven different drama classes, this production is no small feat. Third and fourth-year drama students were cast for their roles one year in advance, and set designs were drafted early in the second semester. Production began following the 2016 February break, and since then, the small but mighty Greystone Theatre has witnessed a whirlwind of activity. Carla Orosz, the production

manager and resident designer believes that time management and teamwork are only a few of the skills that these students learn — skills that can’t be acquired in a lecture hall. She also believes that her students have a passion for theatre, and that is what drives them to spend long hours doing what they love. All of their hard work is finally paying off. Les Belles-Sœurs runs from Mar. 23-Apr. 2 in the John Mitchell Building on campus. For more information and tickets, visit informationstation. ca.

Students in the Drama 110 paint tiles for the kitchen floor.

This scale model of the set was drafted by Sydney Schultz, a fourth-year BFA design student.

A research board behind the stage has information on each character’s costume.

The final set took weeks of hard work to come to fruition.

Drama student Jesse Aitken and other crew members spent all of Mar. 12 and 13 hanging lights for the show.

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Students in Drama 213 follow along with the script during rehearsal.

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Drama students Jensine Trondson (left) and Sydney Schultz (right) review sound cues between acts.

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FEATURE

Sarah Grummett, stage manager and fourth-year BFA drama student, calls for sound and light cues during rehearsal. Yvonne Addai, who plays Térèse Dubuc, prepares for the first full dress rehearsal.

Caitlin Zacharias, who plays Germaine Lauzon, gets a hand with her hair from Erin Carson, who plays Pierrette Guérin.

Everybody loves bingo!

Actor Rebecca Chelack, who plays Lisette De Courval, brought her puppy to rehearsal to boost morale. It worked.

Meleody Mountain, who plays Des-Neiges Verrette, pushes Rachelle Block who plays Linda Lauzon, in a heated scene.

Costume designer Beverley Kobelsky helps Megan Zong, who plays Olivine Dubuc, secure her wig.

Despite the play’s upbeat feel, some heavy topics are discussed.

march 24, 2016

Post-rehearsal notes are relayed to a tired cast at 10 p.m. on Mar. 20, 2016.

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CULTURE

24 25 26 27 28 29 30 Thursday

friday

saturday

upcoming events

JACK THOMPSON • Beer School at Louis’ Pub • Physiology and Pharmacology Student Society’s Disney Themed Trivia Night at Louis’ Loft • Trivioke (Trivia + Karaoke) for Girls Rock Saskatoon at Amigos • Zachary Lucky at Village Guitar & Amp Co.

• Boots & the Hoots with Rugged Little Thing at the Underground Cafe • Last day of the USSU’s Pro-Choice Awareness Week • Mat The Alien with guests at the Capitol Music Club • Transcontinental Blues Band at Somewhere Else Pub and Grill

• BOOMlag with Tallest to Shortest and Pat Maloney at the Capitol Music Club • Mass Grave with guests at Vangelis • Spirit of the West Farewell Tour at O’Brians • We Were Lovers with Acronyms at Amigos

• Electric Six with Sam Cash and The Romantic Dogs at Amigos

sunday

monday

• Counterparts with Expire, Gideon, Knocked Loose and Stepping Stone at Louis’ Pub • Dead Soft with Shirley & The Pyramids at Vangelis • STM Students’ Union Study Event in room 102 at St. Thomas More College • The Sheaf’s Annual General Meeting in Arts 101

• Romi Mayes at The Bassment

tuesday

wednesday

U of S musician reaches new heights as a solo rocker

• Between the Buried and Me with August Burns Red at O’Brians • Nap Eyes with Cian Nugent at Amigos • Ron Hawkins with Jen Lane at the Capitol Music Club • Wintersleep with guests at the Broadway Theatre

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Saskatoon is home to a variety of local musical talent, and one such artist is not only in the process of completing his University of Saskatchewan degree, but also releasing his first solo album. Jordan Welbourne, who will graduate in June 2016 with a music degree from the U of S, has been a part of the Saskatoon music scene since the early 2010s with the band Misterfire. Welbourne is now releasing a solo album, entitled Reach Out, which will feature six tracks. Three of these are now available for listening on SoundCloud, and the full album will be released on Apr. 29, accompanied by a release party at Village Guitar and Amp Co. The three tracks currently on SoundCloud are “Rattlesnake Jake,” “Marathon” and the titular “Reach Out.” The album as a whole will appeal to fans of rock and blues, with each track soaked in aggressive electric guitar riffs that harken back to the golden age of rock, accompanied by vocals that complete the gritty sound. I sat down with Welbourne to discuss Reach Out and his plans for the future. Welbourne went into detail as to what listeners can expect from the other three unreleased songs on the album. The tracks will have something for everyone, including a lighter rock and roll option for his fans of poppier tunes, entitled “Set Me Free.” The album also includes an entirely instrumental song that he co-penned with his producer, Brad Taylor, that Welbourne is thrilled about. “It’s awesome, it’s kinda like a little homage to [Guns N’ Roses guitarist] Slash and [heavy metal rocker] Lemmy as well too,” Welbourne said. “It’s like a really fast, really hard hitting rock song. Lots of guitar solos.” Last but not least is “Terrain,” the album’s ballad and, in Welbourne’s opinion, it’s stand-out track. “[It’s] the departure, it’s definitely the more solemn of the songs, it’s got a lot more emotional impact and with the recording style, it really captures the essence of the song,” Welbourne said. “It’s really raw.” Following the release of

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his solo album, Welbourne will be kicking off his first solo tour. He will spend May touring Alberta and Saskatchewan, and then hit British Columbia and Alberta again in June and July. Welbourne also hopes to tour more of the country towards the end of the summer. When the subject of inspiration came up, Welbourne had trouble attaching a singular genre as a definition for his music. “Influences, I mean, it’s hard to draw a comparison but I would say that we're going along the lines of a modern electric blues thing,” Welbourne said. Newcomers to Welbourne can check out his musical influences to find out more about what to expect from his songs. Welbourne likened his music to that of several other artists’ styles. “People would like this album if they like Gary Clark Jr., if they like Slash’s music, if they kinda like John Mayer’s stuff too. It’s a little bit grittier than Gary Clark or John Mayer, almost to the lines of a band called Rival Sons; they’re an awesome new rock band as well too,” Welbourne said.

Welbourne also spoke about how the U of S and the music department have both made an impact on him and his work. “Going to [the U of S] certainly shaped me as a musician and left its mark on me in a really good way. It really challenged me to think outside of what I normally would. My comfort zone is always me playing some sort of guitar and that’s just where I’m at. When that instrument’s with me, I feel it’s easiest to express any sort of musical idea,” he said. Welbourne believes that his time at the U of S was both challenging and inspirational, helping him to hone the musical style he displays in Reach Out. “Studying voice — ‘cause I actually studied voice at the university — it just made me think of things in a totally different way. I had to think more about the impact of lyrics, the importance of connecting with the audience and the actual theatrics of doing a stage performance.” For more information on Welbourne’s album and upcoming tour dates, visit jordanwelbourne.com.

Supplied / Karen Pidskalny U of S music student Jordan Welbourne is looking forward to touring his solo sound.

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CULTURE

Stressed out? Find free fluffy therapy at a library near you LIAM DELPARTE With paper-writing season in full swing and finals unfortunately right around the corner, taking some time to relax can slip very low on a student’s list of priorities. The University of Saskatchewan’s PAWS Your Stress therapy dog program brings relaxation to you, providing the ultimate puppy-filled study break. PAWS Your Stress provides students with an opportunity to interact with trained therapy dogs every other Wednesday in libraries across campus, and more frequently during finals. Students can watch for bulletins on the PAWS homepage in the days leading up to the dogs’ visits to find out where and when they will specifically be. To learn more about the background and inner workings of this program, I spoke to Alicia Husband, assistant to Colleen Dell, the provincial research chair in Substance Abuse, professor of sociology

at the U of S and founder of PAWS Your Stress. Husband is responsible for much of the co-ordination of the puppy rooms and, as a lucky bonus, gets to spend plenty of time with the dogs. The core ideas behind PAWS Your Stress came about while Dell was conducting research during her sabbatical in 201314. At that time, there was not a lot of research at the U of S surrounding the positive effects that animal interaction has on students and others suffering from increased stress. “The program started a research project on campus to measure love and support and what that does for students,” said Husband. Dell is now finishing a research paper about her findings from the program, but it is not available for the public’s eyes just yet. The therapy dogs and handlers are provided on a

volunteer basis from St. John Ambulance Saskatoon, and are there to help students have a moment of stress-free relaxation, where they can receive some of the unconditional love and support that only a dog can give. Husband notes that many U of S students are away from their childhood pets, and a chance to spend time with any dog can be the bright spot in their day. “We hear a lot of com-

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ments of ‘This is the greatest thing’ or ‘This is the best part of my day.’ I really think that students perceive this as the university giving back to them, that, ‘They really care about my well-being and my health,’” Husband said. The program has been incredibly well received across campus, with large turnouts at each of the libraries that the puppies visit. PAWS Your Stress visits the Engineering, Education and Music, Health Sciences and Murray libraries, so puppy time is not exclusive to one college. Finals, of course, are the program’s busiest time. “Close to 500 students coming in [over] a two to three hour period [came] out last year,” Husband said. Despite this incredible demand, the PAWS Your Stress program is not currently aiming to expand, as the dogs and their handlers come as volunteers, but rather to solidify

themselves within the U of S community. When asked what it looks like when students begin to arrive for a puppy session, Husband noted an immediate change in the overall mood of the room. “You can tell that [the students] are carrying weight, stress and tension into the room, but as soon as they walk in there is an instant smile on their faces. They say things like ‘Oh I’m so excited to see you!’ to the dogs,” Husband said. “You can tell as soon as they walk into the room it brightens their day and even if it’s just for five minutes they leave saying ‘My day is so much better now.’” There is nothing like the unconditional love of a dog to comfort you as you prepare to confront exams that are about as far from a bundle of cuddly joy as you can get. This finals season, make sure to keep an eye out for furry friends in your nearest library to spend some time relaxing in a room full of therapy dogs.

Film tips 101: Useful sites for the movie buff BRIDGET MORRISON Sitting down and watching a movie, whether at home or in the theatre, is a popular experience for many people. Did you know that there are websites and apps to make it even better? Here is a list of quirky and informative options to enhance your film experience. The first website that’s worth checking out is moviemistakes.com. This site lists all the mistakes in television series and movies that you may or may not have noticed while watching. It tracks things such as continuity mistakes, factual errors, audio mistakes and if a crewmember or filming equipment is visible to the audience in the shot. You can find almost any film or TV series on this site, so it’s likely you’ll be able to find your favourite show and where they went wrong. The site even provides tallies of various productions’ mistakes. With 562 mistakes in total, Francis Ford Coppola’s 1979 Apocalypse Now has the most mistakes out of all films on this site. The hit TV show Friends is ranked march 24, 2016

third for the most mistakes found in a television series, with 1404 mistakes noticed to date. The second site, which is more informative than quirky, is agoodmovietowatch.com. If you’re the type of person who spends more time trying to decide what movie to watch than the actual amount of time it takes to watch a movie, this site is perfect for you. The site will provide you with recommendations based on your mood, genre and what’s on Netflix. How-

ever, if you’re feeling too indecisive to even answer their questions, the site can randomly select a movie for you to watch. It’s a great way to shed decision time and get right to the viewing! The third recommendation I have is great for both movie and animal lovers. Have you ever chosen a movie based on the cute dogs on the poster, assuming the film would be fun and uplifting? Then, halfway through the film you realize that the movie is not going to have the hap-

py ending you were wishing for. It turns out the dog has a terminal illness and for the rest of the movie, you sit there watching this dog slowly die a painful death. If this has happened to you, or you wish to avoid this terrible situation, check out the website doesthedogdie.com. This site will let you know whether any animals — not only dogs — in the film live, die or look like they are going to die but don’t. This website will save you a lot of unwanted tears and pain.

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It’s never fun sitting in a movie theatre trying to decide whether or not you have time to run to the washroom, so this is where my last recommendation comes in handy. The free app, RunPee, has carefully selected pee times, which are updated every week to include the newest movies released. They select scenes that don’t have crucial plot twists or exciting and laughable moments that you really don’t want to miss. It also plans for a window of about three to five minutes, so that realistically you have enough time to go and get back. RunPee will also actually alert you when it’s the selected time to go. You start the timer when the movie begins and at its selected pee times, your phone will vibrate to let you know it’s time to go. Never again will you have to worry about missing a crucial moment. You can just sit back, relax and enjoy the film. Armed with these sites and apps, you’ll find new ways to make your moviegoing experience a little better every time. Happy viewing!

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U of S students exercise their creativity in a documentary-producing class SAMUEL RAFUSE Two students have each produced unique documentaries as part of an interdisciplinary studies class at on campus. Although vastly different, their works both centre around different topics involving the University of Saskatchewan. The class is called Creating for the 21st Century, taught by Sandhya Padmanabh and Larry Bauman, instructors in the department of drama. For Kari Duerksen, one of the documentary makers, it has been an interesting experience. “I remember presenting the documentary to our professors and thinking ‘There’s no way they’re going to let me do this,’” Duerksen, a fourth-year psychology major, said in an email to the Sheaf. Her final project is titled Not About Us, a documentary on sexual assault. Not About Us is a gripping, intimate look into the stories of four students at the U of S who survived sexual violence and have now come forward with their stories, some for the first time. “I had never done anything

like this before. I had no idea how to use a camera, edit, anything like that,” Duerksen said. She explained how the class taught her everything from the ground up about producing a documentary, before giving her and three classmates the freedom to create a project they were passionate about. The inspiration for Duerksen’s topic came from articles about Emma Sulkowicz, a Columbia University student who carried a mattress around campus for a year to protest the school’s decision to not punish the man who had sexually assaulted her. “I read the comments on these articles and I would see so much hostility directed towards Emma … I was horrified,” Duerksen said. Not About Us uses a striking stylistic choice to capture the distance sexual violence creates and the intimacy that is needed to talk about it. Subjects are framed in a typical interview fashion, sitting to one side of the frame, but instead of talking to an offscreen interviewer, they address the camera directly. The effect is one of isolation for the subjects but simultaneously forces viewers

to engage with the speaker. “To me, sexual assault seems like a very clear-cut issue on which people shouldn’t be divided, and yet there still seems to be this debate going on about it,” Duerksen said. This divide is exemplified in the documentary as the subjects speak out about how scared they were to come forward about something that wasn’t their fault, but that they felt they had somehow brought upon themselves. “My hope is that people who have experienced assault who feel alone or are questioning whether it was their fault will feel a little bit of relief in seeing that others have these same struggles and that they can be overcome,” Duerksen said. Kaley Evans, Duerksen’s classmate and a fourth year English major, produced his own film in this class. Being There is a documentary about Wayne Turner, a janitor on campus. “I actually wasn’t planning on directing until I met [Turner] and immediately knew he was the perfect subject in the perfect setting,” Evans said, in an email to the Sheaf. Evans’ documentary follows Turner through his daily ac-

tivities cleaning the campus, but the focal point is Turner’s search to find meaning in his job. Being There is a character study about a man who lives his life out of the spotlight. The film is a fascinating dialogue between Turner and the audience, with Turner ruminating on how we always think we have more time to take advantage of opportunities, until one day we wake up and realize those times are gone and all we can do is move forward. What seems like a mundane topic becomes, in Evans’ hands and with Turner as a subject, an intellectual engagement with our own humanity. Evans is able to uncover the gems Turner has to offer without resorting to critical commentary, and he’s happy with the result.

“I’ve never spent so much time working on something and I’m incredibly proud of the end result. It has certainly reaffirmed my commitment to harnessing my disparate skills and abilities and working on creative things,” Evans said. Duerksen agrees, and praises the class for allowing this work. “[The class] is not for the faint of heart, and it will likely be the hardest you work on anything in your undergraduate career, but it’s the most rewarding as well,” Duerksen said. “Every day was a mix of fear and excitement and doubt and stress and joy and a whole lot of learning and adapting. It was the best.” See these films and others from the class on Apr. 6 at the Broadway Theatre.

Supplied / Kari Duerksen Sexual assault survivors share their stories in U of S student Kari Duerksen’s documentary.

OPINIONS

Indecision and indigestion: The 2016-17 USSU election ZACH TENNENT

Opinions Editor Student politics are likely no more broken than politics of any other level. Still, the University of Saskatchewan Students’ Union election remains a confusing and occasionally infuriating spectacle. It’s that time of year again —

temperatures are rising and the snow is melting, and yet — for U of S students — interest in student politics remains pretty fucking lukewarm. I should preface this by saying I have voted and will continue to vote in every USSU election during my time in university. Likewise, I certainly recognize the importance of studentpoliticians and student unions, even if I don’t always have my finger on the pulse of what exactly it is they do. However,

Photo / Graphic Illustration: Jeremy Britz / Graphics Editor & frankieleon / Flickr

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most people don’t even have that base level of interest — and can you blame them? Election season — does 10 days qualify as a season? — on campus is a bit of a feverish nightmare. Each year, it seems that candidates just materialize out of thin air and start soliciting me for my support. School elections basically have the market cornered on this phenomena. In a federal election, people might come knocking on your door canvassing for a party or specific constituent. In local politics, you might even talk to your city councillor from time to time. In student politics though, you just need to live your day-to-day life — walking the halls or sitting in the library — and candidates will approach you and launch right into their campaign spiel. It’s only made worse if you and one or more candidate share mutual friends and your friends then try to push you to support them because of it. Again, this seems to be something limited specifically to student elections — “they’re my friend” is not a

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particularly persuasive argument in higher levels of politics. Don’t get me started on the advertising campaigns, either. Holy Toledo can those be soul-sucking. Over the years, I’ve seen everything from classic films to artery-clogging foods to meme culture appropriated by campaign posters, all for the sake of convincing the public that you’d be a good person to trust with our student fees. I understand the old adage that any publicity is good publicity, but sometimes I look at people’s advertising campaigns and have to wonder if this rule of thumb stills rings true when your publicity comes off as self-sabotaging. Puns have become so central to these campaigns that if I ever began to seriously consider entering university politics — hey, pigs might fly someday — I’d feel I was at a serious disadvantage if I couldn’t figure out how to make some kind of play on words out of my name. “Put the U of S back on the right Zach?” Everyone knows that class president in high-school is a

popularity contest, plain and simple. I would never claim that university politics are this insincere and worthless, even if this time of year can make us feel that way. However, what really separates USSU elections from popularity contests is the lack of popularity. People in this country can barely be bothered to vote on a national level, but that still doesn’t excuse the dismal showing that’s come to be routine at the U of S. In 2015, voter turnout for the USSU election accounted for a whopping 23 per cent of the student body. If it makes you feel better, though, 2014 only brought out 19 per cent, so at least we’re making progress! Like I said, I recognize the importance of student-politicians, and I’m grateful for the service they provide us, but USSU election season always seems to put me in a blue mood about the whole process. Let’s just look forward to once we’ve elected these people so we can all forget about what they do for another year. march 24, 2016

OPINIONS

Changing the conversation around abortion KAILEE GABOURY Discussions surrounding abortion debate tend to be heated and emotionally charged, with people on all sides feeling hurt while trying to share their convictions. However, there are situations in which all of us need to change the way we talk about abortion. Some organizations and people seem to believe the issue of abortion ended in 1988, when the Supreme Court of Canada struck down all our existing abortion laws, rendering it legal during all nine months of pregnancy. This case, known as R versus Morgentaler, was seen as a victory for pro-choice activists. Although it widened the parameters of legal abortions, the Supreme Court’s decision requires more discussion in

regards to the rights attributed to the unborn child. On campus, the University of Saskatchewan Students for Life club finds that students want to talk about abortion. Even if students fundamentally disagree with one another, they often find the club useful and agree that this is an important discussion that needs to happen. The problem is that both sides of the debate seem to be talking about a completely different issue. The pro-life side argues that killing an innocent human being is wrong and seeks to provide options for both mom and baby, while the pro-choice side often does not see the fetus as a human being and thus fights for a woman’s right to control her own body. Both sides truly believe that their position is correct and the opposition is clear-

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ly mistaken. Sometimes it feels as if pro-lifers say “A,” but pro-choicers hear “B,” while pro-choicers say “Y” but pro-lifers hear “Z.” The only way we are going to be able to come to an understanding is if we can accurately and justly comprehend the opposition's stance while still being able to provide reasons for it being deficient. We must fully understand the opposition's argument in order to have a strong argument ourselves. Too often, people dismiss their opponent in the abortion debate as ignorant or worse, as having a hateful agenda. From my experience, both the pro-life and pro-choice sides truly want to help women, and we need not forget that when discussing the issue of abortion. Listening is imperative if we are to talk about abortion effectively. Every woman's abortion experience is different, and we should let her speak for herself instead of assuming she should feel a certain way to better vindicate our preconceived beliefs

about morality. A woman should not be told that her experience and feelings are invalid or be told how to feel about her decision. Listen to the pro-choicer — they may know someone who has had an abortion or had one themselves. They want every woman to be able to succeed in life and to make her own decisions regarding her body. Listen to the pro-lifer — they also want every woman to be able to succeed in life, recognizing that having a child does not have to impede her ability to do so. They believe every human being is valuable and deserving of human rights, including the unborn child. Both sides of the debate can engage in more productive dialogue when we are filled with compassion and understanding for women in crisis pregnancies. We should also strive to provide adequate information and resources for all three options: adoption, parenting and abortion. Many people tend to primarily focus on the latter,

unfortunately, often at the expense of the other two options. The abortion debate has ultimately become a war of ideas, sometimes forgetting about the real women who need support or ignoring the science behind fetal development. Much of the conflict in the world would be resolved if we just took the time to listen to one another before making judgments about those with whom we disagree. With about 300 abortions occurring per day in our country, funded by our tax dollars and technically legal through all nine months of pregnancy, we can do better than letting disagreement get in the way of dialogue on this significant issue that touches many of us personally. Abortion can be a touchy subject for some people. It needs to be discussed with the utmost respect and understanding for pregnant women and women in general. There is still much to discuss, much to learn and many stories we have yet to hear. Let's talk abortion, for this discussion is far from over.

Keep it cheap: Alternative tips on student budgeting CHELSEA POWRIE

Culture Editor Being broke doesn't mean you have to stop living, it just means you need to get smart. Memorize these cheapskate tips and never feel the pain of being penniless again. So, you're broke. Don't cry, we've all been there — you haven't truly been a student until you've had only $0.78 in your chequing account. What's the number one thing we all need, but hate buying? You guessed it — toilet paper. Next time you notice your supply dwindling, bring a large backpack to campus and stock up on the nearest bathroom's offerings. Often, the University of Saskatchewan toilet paper dispensers come with locks, but don't despair. Bring a cardboard tube from the centre of one of your used up rolls at home, and wrap as much t.p. as you want around it. For a special treat, visit your nearest Original Joe's or Boston Pizza and stock up on the march 24, 2016

higher-end stuff — impress your guests with that classy ply-count. Spring is here, and while many people are busy celebrating, you're probably thinking “Ugh, now I need new clothes again.” Does the weather think our money grows on trees or something? Rude. Luckily, you can life-hack spring by visiting the nearest Lost and Found on campus. Simply mention a generic item of clothing — “I lost a dark coloured t-shirt somewhere in this two-mile radius” — and then enthusiastically claim any item that fits its billing. Voila, free clothes! Spring also means finals season is approaching, and many classes have specific requests for items you'll need to bring with you — pencils or pens, erasers, calculators, rulers, etc. Skip the Staples bill by casually borrowing items from classmates over the next few weeks, and “forgetting” to return them. The key is to space out the requests, so be sure to make a list of what you need and plan ahead. By the time finals arrive, you'll be all set. Bonus: your classmates might do worse

than expected because they don't have their materials — the lower the class average, the better for you! I know I'm not alone in feeling like dying every time my fridge is empty. If grocery bills are burning holes in your pockets and you are searching under the pillows of your couch for spare change for beer on the weekend, consider consolidating your troubles. Grapes are food, right? Buy a bulk box of discount bagged wine on payday, and never separate your food and liquor bills again! Light bulbs these days just aren't what they used to be. It seems like every other week, I'm replacing a bulb just to keep my apartment semi-lit. Practice checking the fixtures in every public bathroom you enter for compatible bulbs — mostly they’re those long, useless fluorescents, but every now and then you'll strike gold. Yet another reason to always carry around a big backpack. Is it just me, or is washing dishes the worst? Never wash a dish again by existing solely on disposable paper plates and utensils — who needs the environment, anyway? Attend every free student group meet-

ing event you can, and snag the stash of dining materials when no one's looking. If someone sees you, just look confident and keep walking. We've all been in a situation where a cute guy or girl sits down next to us in class, and suddenly the sweat starts pouring and your breath goes stale. Stay cool and confident with a piece of gum! Obviously you can't afford to buy some — what are we, kings? — but a fun tip is that underneath almost every desk is a wad of gum that's totally free. Scientists have shown that

only 75 per cent of the flavour is used up during the initial chew phase. Just casually feel around until you find one, and keep it in your palm until you're ready to pop it in. Finally, if the Saskatchewan weather is making your apartment into an icebox but you can't afford to crank the heat, start a small fire on the floor of your kitchen — perfect because there’s no flammable carpet — and sit near it. You've already got the kindling here in your hands, because this is the best article in this rag and now you’ve finished it.

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DISTRACTIONS campus chat

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On Mar. 20, the spring equinox arrived, although here in Saskatoon we may have a hard time believing winter is truly finished. The northern hemisphere can count on increased daylight hours until late June, so whether the air is cold or the ground is covered in snow, we can still enjoy the fact that the sunrise wakes us up before we need to leave for our morning class, instead of when class is already over. We’re going to be seeing a lot more of the sun these days, so why not get to know it?

alert

Stephen Harper. Cris Laidlaw

The sun is actually a class G yellow dwarf star, meaning it has a lifespan of approximately 10 billion years — don’t worry, Earth is only 4.5 billion years old, so we still have some time. The sun is 150 million kilometres away from Earth, which is roughly 580,000 times the distance from Saskatoon to Regina. In the core of the sun, the hydrogen fusion fueled core operates at 15 million degrees Celsius. On the surface, the temperature cools to about 5,500 degrees Celsius — but the surface is constantly boiling and erupting, emitting solar wind particles that reach Earth in around 40 hours and interact with our atmosphere to cause the northern lights. Current research in the field of potentially inhabited planets in other solar systems focuses on sun-like stars, since their long lifetimes paired with significant heating power for planets in their inner solar system could theoretically allow life to evolve on a planet similar to Earth. Kepler-186f, a NASA discovery announced in 2014, is an Earth sized planet orbiting a smaller star than our sun around 500 million light-years away in the constellation Cygnus, visible just above the north eastern horizon in Saskatoon every evening after dark.

Donald Trump. Sarah Ratnani

INANE DEBATES Q: Who would make a better University of Saskatchewan Students’ Union president, actor Mark Ruffalo or a bag of old barber’s hair? Side A: How is this an issue of debate? A person versus barber’s hair? Barber’s hair can’t stand up to student council. How would it function in a leadership role? Mark Ruffalo may not even go here, but he is a sentient creature with autonomy and mobility. I fail to see a debate here. Side B: The only difference between Mark Ruffalo and a bag of old hair is the bag. Barber hair is a comforting presence in all of our lives — a part of us. Arguing that a lack of sentience should be grounds to disqualify barber’s hair is a woefully intelligencist argument and is indicative of the exclusionary practices that have marred the USSU for years.

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”

If you could punch anyone in the face - living or dead - who would you pick?

Stay because if you don’t get back to the research station with the cure in your next turn the pandemic will destroy the world. Mon-Wed 5pm-11pm Thurs-Fri 3pm-1am Saturday (reserve!) noon-1am Sunday noon-10pm 527 20th St. W 306-652-KING (5464)

The two members of Florida Georgia Line. Fuck those guys. Brenden Palmer

Shady restaurant managers. Serena Swick

Donald Trump. Patrick Chitanda & Saliu Bah

SaSkatoon Symphony orcheStra muSic talk

Eric Paetkau and Mark Turner discuss Beethoven's Ninth Symphony

UPCOMING EVENTS

ASTRO

Your Saskatoon sky news for Mar. 24 — Apr. 6

Tuesday, March 29, 7 pm

••• SaSkatchewan Book awardS ShortliSt reading

sheaf mar 24, 2016.indd 1

featuring Lloyd Ratzlaff and Elisabeth Philips Friday, April 1, 7 pm hoSted By Vijay kachru

march 24, 2016 3/14/2016 3:11:40 PM

DISTRACTIONS

r g a SU

e p C S i and

THEGENTLEMANSARMCHAIR.COM

Q: My cakes always come out really dense. I feel like I’ve tried everything to make them fluffier but it doesn’t work. Thoughts? Also, I think I’m pregnant but I haven’t had sex in weeks. What do I do? — Karen Sugar: You need to use enriched flour and probably go see a doctor. Spice: I’m not sure what a doctor would know about baking, but if you can’t bake a cake, I think a pregnancy should be the least of your concerns. Kids love cake. Want advice from Sugar and Spice? Submit your questions online at thesheaf.com.

BUTTERSAFE.COM

HARKAVAGRANT.COM

BUSINESSCAT.HAPPYJAR.COM

PBFCOMICS.COM

march 24, 2016

www.thesheaf.com ∙ the sheaf publishing society

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ELECTIONS

For USSU Executive, Senate and Members of Students’ Council

FOR CANDIDATE INFORMATION VISIT USSU.CA/ELECTIONS

VOTE!

Polls Close MARCH 24 - 4:00 p.m.

GENDERED

SPACES: A PANEL DISCUSSION GENDER DIVERSITY AWARNESS WEEK

March 30, 2016

4:00pm • Room 202, ARTS

Panel Discussion:

Experiences of gender minority people

Short Film: Toilet Training

Law and Order in the Bathroom (Silvia Rivera Law Project) Brought to you by Provost Advisory Committee on Gender and Sexual Diversity and University of Saskatchewan Residence

University of Saskatchewan Students’ Union

PrideCentre

the sheaf publishing society

∙ www.thesheaf.com

march 24, 2016