The Sheaf 10/20/11 - Volume 103 Issue 11

October 20, 2011

volume 103 • issue 11 • thesheaf.com

Sheaf the

Local

Students launch local MTV-style video site.

Campus

Is the U-Pass worth it if you live five blocks away?

Page 4

International Engineering students want aid transparency.

Page 2

Theatre

Interactive performance art at The Refinery.

Page 6

Politics

Voting isn’t enough if you are uninformed.

Page 14

TV

The Walking Dead returns strong.

Page 8

Page 17

The University of Saskatchewan student newspaper since 1912

The 99% march in Occupy Saskatoon A forum for local and international concerns

really discourages people from asking these questions.”

Asked how the Senate meeting relates to the Occupy movement, Hande responded, “One of our local actions is to restore democracy to these types of institutions.”

Each of the occupiers expressed concern over having the movement misrepresented by the media. No individual purported to speak for the entire group.

Group statements, arrived at by consensus, can be found on Occupy Saskatoon’s Facebook page, where they also post daily events.

Occupiers hope the movement will continue to grow and that Saskatonians will visit Friendship Park and add to the ongoing conversation. The general assembly occurs daily at 5:30 p.m.

LAURA ALFORD More than 400 protesters in Saskatoon marched from the University Bridge to Friendship Park in a show of solidarity with the Occupy Wall Street movement on Oct. 15.

This “Day of Global Action” saw groups in 1,445 cities around the world join the movement that began in New York City on Sept. 17.

Protesters in Saskatoon chanted, “We are the 99 per cent,” and “Whose streets? Our streets!”

Their signs were evidence of the diversity and tone of the protest.

While “We are the 99 per cent” is a feature of Occupy protests around the world, other signs addressed more local issues.

One said “Saskatchewan is not for sale!” while others read “Stop the Tar Sands” and “I care about you! No Nuclear Waste.”

The evening’s open mic gave a platform to a singer-songwriter, the Committee for Future Generations, stopgormley.ca, the Saskatoon Anti-Poverty Coalition, the Postal Workers’ Union and farmers expressing concern about the dissolution of the Canadian Wheat Board.

With a kitchen, porta-potties and tents, about 60 protesters came equipped to spend the night in Friendship Park. As of press time, the plan was to occupy the park indefinitely.

The Occupy movement has been criticized for having no focused message, but it is this same feature that allows the conversation to continue.

“A lot of protests are antisomething or trying to shut something down,” said occupier Barb Fornssler. “This is trying to grow something. But what we’re growing, I think, will be emergent to each local context.”

The most recurrent message across the movement — now its slogan — is “We are the 99 per cent.” This refers to the growing economic gap between the richest one per cent and the rest.

It also points to the populist nature of the movement. It suggests the movement’s desire to represent the concerns of the majority of the population.

Organizer Jeh Custerra called the movement an example of “direct

OWS

Glossary:

99 Per cent:

A reference to growing income inequality between 99 per cent of the population and the top 1 per cent of earners, who have amassed approximately one-third of national wealth in the United States. It has become the slogan of the Occupy movement, and originates in a Tumblr blog of the same name.

In Canada, the top one per cent earn about 14 per cent of national income.

Mic Check: What speakers at general assemblies say to announce that they want to start speaking and have their words repeated throughout a crowd.

Protesters demonstrate their solidarity with a global movement as they walk.

democracy.”

While the 99 per cent slogan connects Occupy Saskatoon to the global phenomenon, there are specific local issues being discussed in Friendship Park.

Mary Jean Hande is an occupier concerned with the corporate influence at the University of Saskatchewan.

The Day of Global Action

coincided with a meeting of the University Senate. Some of the Occupy protesters attended the meeting before the march.

Hande is an elected senator and member of the group USSWORD. She presented three motions at Saturday’s Senate meeting. One alleged a conflict of interest for Nancy Hopkins, chair of the university’s board of governors

Pete Yee

and board member of Cameco Corporation.

Hande said she was disappointed with the defeat of her motions.

“The Senate is supposed to be the opportunity for the university to reach out into the community and for the community to provide input,” she said. “But the amount of intimidation that we’ve received even for discussing these things

Twinkling: Wiggling one’s fingers to signal agreement with what’s being said. It moves along conversation without drowning out the speaker with applause.

2• News

thesheaf.com/news • the sheaf •October 20, 2011

Breaking down the black box Engineers Without Borders advocates for transparent aid practices

TANNARA YELLAND Senior News Editor Students walking through the Bowl on Oct. 17 may have seen a large black box with the letters “CIDA” scrawled on it. This mysterious display was part of an attempt

by Engineers Without Borders to raise awareness about the need for international aid transparency.

The Canadian International Development Agency spends $5 billion annually on development and poverty reduction around the world.

After it is allocated, it becomes extremely difficult to follow up on how effective that aid has been.

This is where the black box comes into play. As EWB’s website says, “Each event will feature a big black box, as a metaphor for Canada’s aid — money goes in, but no one’s quite sure what happens after that.”

“CIDA spends $5 billion of taxpayer dollars every year on poverty alleviation,” said James Wattam, “so we’d really like to know what they’re spending that money on and be able to judge whether they’re spending it in the best way possible.”

Wattam is EWB-University of Saskatchewan Vice-President Advocacy.

The U of S event was part of a nationwide effort to shed light on the need for aid transparency. There were

Editor-in-Chief: Ishmael N. Daro, editor@thesheaf.com Production Manager: Matthew Stefanson, layout@thesheaf.com Senior News Editor: Tannara Yelland, news@thesheaf.com Associate News Editor: Daryl Hofmann, news@thesheaf.com Photography Editor: Raisa Pezderic, photo@thesheaf.com Graphics Editor: Brianna Whitmore, graphics@thesheaf. com

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EWB’s display asks where $5 billion in taxpayer money goes after entering the “black box” that is CIDA. Raisa Pezderic/Photo Editor

EWB members standing near the box talking to passers-by about their goals and encouraging them to sign supplied postcards to be mailed to the federal minister for international cooperation, Bev Oda. The postcards ask Oda to have Canada sign on to the International Aid Transparency Initiative, which aims to have nations and large organizations make their aid donations and their outcomes public. The IATI was developed after the Third High Level Forum on Aid Effectiveness, held in Ghana’s capital city of Accra in September 2008.

Australia, Finland and Germany are among the countries that are already signatories to the IATI, along with organizations such as the World Bank, the Asian Development Bank and the United Nations Development Programme.

Canada is not listed as either a signatory or as endorsing the IATI on its website.

“

We’d really like to know what they’re spending that money on and be able to judge whether they’re spending it in the best way possible.

JAMES WATTAM

Engineers Without Borders

One of the largest benefits of the IATI, according to Wattam, is that it will allow for comparisons between aid projects, and make them more efficient.

“We’ll be able to compare CIDA’s information with the World Bank’s information,” he said, “and if they’re doing a project in the same area, the same sector, you’ll be able to judge which project is working better.

“We can’t really call on CIDA to change a whole lot if we don’t know what they’re actually doing right now,” Wattam said.

EWB has only been advocating for aid transparency for several months. Its advocacy efforts are “pretty young,” according to Watttam. Nevertheless, EWB members decided they wanted to narrow in on a specific area in which to fight for change, and they have pursued it persistently since.

“What we have realized is

that it’s important to focus on something if we want to get it done,” Wattam said.

Some of the boxes created in other cities for the Oct. 17 campaign were lifted into the air by helium balloons or hit with a barrage of pumpkins, but Wattam said the main function of the U of S box was to be large enough to attract attention.

“I think it would probably be illegal to float this thing with helium balloons, because it would probably break something on its way down,” Wattam said with a chuckle.

Report calls for education reform Drastic changes to Canadian education system needed: CCL LEE RICHARDSON CUP Ontario Bureau Chief TORONTO (CUP) – Canada’s entire education system is in need of restructuring, according to a new report.

Released Oct. 11 by the Canadian Council on Learning, the report says that without a national regulatory committee, Canada’s education system will decline, leading to a loss of economic productivity and innovation.

“They talk about the dysfunctionality of post-secondary education,” said Glen Jones, a professor at the Ontario Institute for Studies in Education. “There are some criticisms and some of them

are valid, but I think it’s going too far to say that it’s dysfunctional.”

The report is likely to be the final paper released by the CCL, which is set to close in spring 2012 since federal funding for the national learning organization was withdrawn by the Harper government last year.

“Some of the comments are made with greater vitriol than have been made in the past,” said Jones. “But that doesn’t mean that they don’t say some important things.”

While acknowledging high participation rates in post-secondary education and praising Canada’s teaching staff and generally welleducated population, the report, “What is the Future of Learning

in Canada?” criticizes the lack of a federal body that sets national education goals. Currently, education issues are handled by the provincial and territorial governments.

“The principal cause of the unacceptable and deeply troubling state of affairs is that our governments have failed to work together to develop the necessary policies and failed to exhibit the required collective political leadership,” the report stated.

Another criticism revolves around research and development becoming a priority of universities, which then often move away from delivering a comprehensive education in favour of aiming to gain research funding from the federal government.

“We have a higher education system where there are very strong incentives for faculty to attempt

to become great researchers, but there are not as many incentives for individual faculty, or the university as a whole, to focus on the quality of undergraduate teaching,” said Ryerson politics professor David Trick, who has co-authored the book Academic Reform.

“It’s almost as though highquality teaching has become sort of a token aspect of our universities, a token area that we need to reward rather than something that is as celebrated as research,” said Meaghan Coker, a University of Toronto public policy and governance master’s student. “That small example is one of many that indicates the imbalance between research and teaching.”

Report

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October 20, 2011 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/news

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Bottled water gets the boot Calgary college joins ranks of schools no longer selling water for profit TANNARA YELLAND Senior News Editor On Oct. 6, Calgary’s St. Mary’s University College joined schools like the University of Winnipeg, Queen’s and the University of Ottawa when it banned the sale of bottled water on its campus. The Council of Canadians Acting for Social Justice only lists six schools in Canada that have made this move, though they did not have St. Mary’s on their list.

The school, which emphasizes social justice as part of its educational experience, chose water as its theme for the year. According to its vision statement, St. Mary’s aims to help “students to lead with integrity, to meet the future with confidence, intellectual acuity, moral conviction and a passion for social justice and the common good.”

Communications Coordinator Mackenzie Cann said the school’s social justice committee began working on the bottled water ban 18 months ago.

“In 2010 the UN made a declaration that clean drinking water is a basic human right,” Cann said.

“They used [that] to back their idea.”

At St. Mary’s, the focus of the ban is geared toward the commodification of water rather than toward the environmental impact, though the campus has installed water bottlerefilling stations that count how many single-use bottles are being saved.

Still, “the idea was more that everyone should have access to clean drinking water.”

Report

cont. from

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While some universities in provinces like British Columbia and Alberta operate under different models, some of which put an emphasis on teaching, provinces such as Ontario have switched entirely to a university model that concentrates on advancing research.

“We’ve often talked about finding balance between the two,” said Ontario Undergraduate Student Alliance President Sean Madden.

“Several of our policies are on quality of education, specifically advocating for quality of teaching, transparent teaching and teaching development to become a larger part in a professor’s professional

Professors at St. Mary’s have taken it upon themselves to incorporate the ethics surrounding water into their classes, according to Cann.

Ethics and English professors will be discussing ethical issues and literature pertaining to the issue.

St. Mary’s is the first school in Alberta to ban the sale of bottled water. But federally the University of Winnipeg beat it to the punch, becoming the first school in Canada to ban the sale of bottled water in March 2009.

Since then, things have gone swimmingly, says U of W’s Campus Sustainability Office Director Alana Lajoie-O’Malley.

When asked if there has been any pressure to return to selling water, she responded, “If anything, the pressure we’re getting is more along the lines of, ‘Well, if we’re not selling bottled water, why are we selling any bottled beverages at all?’ ” U of W Students’ Association President Lauren Bosc agreed, saying that there has been “a very positive reaction” to the ban on campus and even in the surrounding community.

High schools in Winnipeg have approached the UWSA about going bottled water-free themselves, as have other post-secondary schools across Canada. St. Mary’s Academy, a high school in Manitoba, has been in contact with Bosc about discontinuing the sale of bottled water.

“All government buildings in Manitoba are going to go bottled water-free soon, too,” Bosc added. career progression.”

According to Jones, however, the major problem with Canada’s education system is a lack of available relevant data, which is needed before changes in policy can be achieved.

“We are behind many of our peers, and by that I mean many other Western developed countries that have much better data about how their educational system is going,” said Jones. He added that the amount of data the government has regarding its education system is not enough to develop effective policy analysis at the provincial and territorial level.

“We need to know more about post-secondary education,” said Jones. “But it’s difficult to deal with because there [are] very few political advantages in investing in data.”

When the campus stopped selling bottled water it was also able to upgrade all of its water fountains, making them more convenient for use in refilling water bottles.

Sustainability clearly comes into play when bottled water sale bans and similar actions are discussed, but Lajoie-O’Malley insisted, like Cann, that the more salient issue is the commodification of what should be treated as a human right: access to drinkable water.

“People tend to associate the ban with less bottles on campus,” Lajoie-O’Malley said. But as far as she knows, “empirical data tends to suggest there isn’t a clear correlation between banning the sale of bottled water and waste reduction.”

This is at least partially due to the fact that rather than plan ahead and bring a bottle to school, students may simply buy a different type of drink when they find themselves sitting in the library thirsting for something cool and refreshing.

Nevertheless, the environmental side of the issue is a more concrete, easily identifiable aspect of the ban that allows students to take up the cause enthusiastically.

“Bottled water is easier to identify than other environmental issues,” Lajoie-O’Malley said. “It’s easier to see and hold on to, and in that sense I think students are very proud of our campus for this.”

The UWSA has been in contact with students’ unions at schools across Canada offering advice on banning the sale of bottled water; they have also worked closely with the Canadian Federation of Students, which advocates on bottled water issues.

While the report calls for the formation of a national body to reform the country’s system, Jones says that apart from a need for the federals to collect more information about the national educational infrastructure, such a reform might not be necessary.

“Many of the problems involve issues that can be done at the provincial level or territorial level, so I agree with the problems — I guess I disagree with their solutions,” Jones said. “But I think people have to take a step back and realize that in order to get policies that work, you really do need to make that investment in data and the public infrastructure that collects this information and allows for that analysis, and then you can have an informed public policy debate.”

Eager to get into the exciting, fast-paced, glamorous world of university news, but not sure how to start?

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Just come to the Sheaf office (room 108 MUB) any

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Man hates water bottles, wastes more water

File Photo Pete Yee

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Take CMPT 120.3 as a science credit or elective. http://www.cs.usask.ca/courses/course_descriptions/CMPT_120.php

4• News

thesheaf.com/news • the Sheaf • October 20, 2011

Classifieds ANNOUNCEMENTS

Bread, wine, and a good meal: You are invited to the Lutheran Campus Centre - at the southeast corner of College and Wiggins – every Tuesday at 5:00 for a service followed by supper. We sing, we pray, we speak and listen, we share communion, and when worship is over we gather for a good warm meal. It’s free, everyone’s welcome, and we’d be glad to see you there!

In celebration of Saskatchewan Library Week we invite you to enjoy and participate in a discussion with Saskatchewan’s most prolific published nonfiction author, Candace Savage, as she shares the delights and challenges of her writing life. Up Close and Personal with Candace Savage is Thursday, October 20 at 7:30 p.m. in The Gallery at Frances Morrison Library.

No registration is required.

This program is presented in partnership with the Saskatoon Writers’ Coop.

In celebration on the year of India in Canada 2011 The High Commission of India and the Indian Council for Cultural Relations brings you....

The India Film Festival 2011 Sunday afternoons in ARTS 241 Neatby-Timlin Theatre Doors open: 1:30 pm; show time 2:00 pm. Free Admission.

Everyone is welcome October 23: VIHIR (Marathi) Directed

by Umesh Kulkarni, October 30: MONER MANUSH (Bengali) Directed by Goutam Ghose, November 6: BLACK (Hindi) Directed by Sanjay Leela Bhansali November 13: SWYAMSIDDHA (Oriya ) Directed by Sudhanshu Mohan Sahoo, November 20: KAAL CHILAMBU (Malayalam) Directed by M. T. Anoor

For Adults Only. Come to Pooh Corner at the Frances Morrison Library on Thursday, October 27 at 7 p.m. for An Evening of Storytelling for Adults. In this annual event, storytellers from the Library share tales in the oral tradition.

It’s a relaxing evening with refreshments served. You may wish to bring a cushion to support your back.

VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES Canadian Blood Services With every blood donation you make, you save lives. By donating, you share your health and vitality with someone who needs it. To make an appointment for any blood donor clinic, or for more information, donors can contact Canadian Blood Services, tollfree at 1-888-2-DONATE (1888-236-6283) Do you love to talk about anything or everything? Then we have an opportunity for you! The Saskatoon Open Door Society is currently recruiting English speaking volunteers to help new immigrants and refugees practice speaking English. Please contact Julie at juliefj@sods.sk.ca for a detailed list of volunteer opportunities, or visit www.sods.sk.ca The Kenderdine Art Gallery, University Art Collection & College Building Art Galleries are seeking volunteers interested in the visual arts. Gain valuable experience and expand your knowledge of contemporary and historical art! Contact: 9664571 for more info.

Store Hours: Mon to Wed 10-6, Thurs 10-9, Fri & Sat 10-6, Sun 12-5

manhattan casuals Fashion for Men and Women

124 - 21st Street E - Saskatoon

664-6686

Students start local media site New venture caters to Saskatoon’s college students DARYL HOFMANN Associate News Editor Saskatoon has a new place to go for video coverage of events and parties after the recent launch of Thread Media.

The outlet went live online in late August with video of local events Wakeride, Folk Fest, Jazz Fest and now LB5Q. “We’re trying to be a local MTV or College Humor,” said creative director Devon Hennig, who manages the site with executive editor Jackie Cook.

Hennig and Cook came together last year while studying marketing at the Edwards School of Business. It was there, with the help of the Wilson Centre for Entrepreneurial Excellence, that they began shooting video of university events and selling the edited product under the label TVZ Media.

Cook said they immediately realized the opportunity to not just sell the video, but to showcase the events to the public through the Internet.

She feels with the “lack of eyes” on traditional news, there is a real market for a media platform like Thread.

“In Saskatoon, the Sheaf, Planet S and the Verb are really the only things that young people are tuning in to these days,” Cook said.

“We’re just trying to be the video version of that,” Hennig added.

They say Thread is primarily about attending events and creating video

Thoen and Thomson chatting up a local male babe.

while authentically interacting with people they see around the streets of Saskatoon. But since the launch, they have also branched into three episodebased series.

The most popular series thus far has been Babewatch. Essentially, the show follows hosts Manny Thomson and Nathan Thoen as they comb the city flirting with babes. Another series, again hosted by Thomson, is Local Music Map, which focuses on Saskatoon’s independent music scene. And their newest series, Press Play, saw host James Aaron tour the Saskatoon Forestry Farm and Zoo for the first episode.

“We really want to be an open, approachable company where people with cool, creative ideas can come to us and pitch us their ideas,” Hennig said.

They said they are open to photographers, bloggers, comedians

supplied

and musicians who have a concept and would like to gain some exposure.

Although Thread’s videos have already garnered roughly 17,000 total views, the site is clear of advertisements.

“As soon as you put advertisements up, it’s like inviting parents to the party,” Hennig said, referencing Mark Zuckerberg’s early Facebook business model eschewing advertising.

“We may move to banners and splash ads in the future, but for now we just want to win the hearts of the people,” Cook explained.

With a staff almost entirely consisting of university students or recent graduates, they say Thread is strongly “focused on the college demographic.”

“We’re made by young people, for young people,” Hennig said.

Food options limited downtown Poverty Awareness Week kicks off with a Food Desert Walk KENDRA SCHREINER More than half of Saskatoon’s residents live in a food desert, meaning they are not within walking distance of a supermarket and must travel out-of-neighbourhood for healthy groceries.

On Oct. 15, a crowd of about 30 gathered in one of Saskatoon’s largest food deserts — the Pleasant Hill neighbourhood — to raise awareness of the issue. Many carried signs saying, “Access to healthy food is a human right.”

With bags of donated groceries in hand, the group walked five kilometres to gain an understanding of the challenge the community faces.

To kick off the walk, University of Saskatchewan professor Rachel Engler-Stringer provided some startling facts about Saskatoon’s food availability. Although large portions of the city are considered a food desert, 75 per cent of residents are within walking distance of fast food.

Adults in these communities are significantly more likely to be overweight or obese, and children without access to healthy food have been found to experience serious weight problems, especially between kindergarten and grade three.

Not having access to healthy food in your community is not only physically challenging, says EnglerStringer, but also takes an emotional and mental toll. If no one believes that a neighbourhood will supply healthy food, it can affect how

residents view themselves.

Good Food Junction, a co-op grocery store associated with Station 20 West, hopes to soon replace this view with a message of hope and worthiness in the Pleasant Hill neighbourhood. The store, set to open in July 2012, plans to provide healthy and affordable food choices to a neighbourhood that saw all the big supermarkets pull out over a decade ago.

Since the provincial government pulled funding to Station 20 West in 2008, the project is far behind schedule. But with support from local churches and fundraisers, they hope they will be able to open debt free.

Although there are a lot of issues facing the core neighbourhoods, Engler-Stringer said Good Food Junction is a great start.

“It’s an important piece because it says to people, ‘It doesn’t matter where you live, it doesn’t matter what your income level is, your health is important.’ ” As the group walked down 22nd Street West, many conversations turned to the issues causing poverty in Saskatoon. A resonating concern was the rising cost of housing. Many families, particularly those living in the core neighbourhoods, are spending up to 75 per cent of their incomes on living expenses, leaving very little for food.

One university student who asked not to be identified at the walk said the disparity between the rich and the poor in Saskatoon is

escalating. Although Saskatchewan is growing, she said, the impoverished communities aren’t seeing the benefits of the provincial wealth.

She would like to see the university support more research in the area of poverty, more student engagement and awareness and the prioritization of partnerships with local groups.

After the hour-long walk, which many families have to make on a regular basis while carrying heavy bags, the groceries were donated to Child Hunger and Education Program, or CHEP, an organization dedicated to ensuring good nutrition and food security in the city.

Many discussions were then focused on awareness and research about nutrition in the core areas. It was agreed that concrete solutions must be found and acted upon by both the government and the community if a lasting impact is to be made.

Awareness is only the first step in bringing change to our city.

Those who are privileged need to understand what living in poverty is like so they can get involved in a practical way, which is what Poverty Awareness Week is about.

The Saskatoon Anti-Poverty Coalition hosts two more events this week where people can come show their support and learn about poverty in the city. On Oct. 20 from 7 to 9 p.m. is Empowering Voices, “An artistic gathering in the core” at St. Mary’s Parish Hall. On Oct. 21, starting at 5 p.m., there is a march across the Broadway Bridge called Hands Across the Bridge to acknowledge that poverty spans the whole city.

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October 20, 2011 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/news

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World-renowned activist to give Whelen lecture Annual lecture has drawn international experts for over 20 years Daryl Hofmann Associate News Editor Often referred to as “the rock star of social justice writing,” Raj Patel will be in Saskatoon Oct. 25 for the University of Saskatchewan’s 2011 Whelen Lecture.

Patel, a best-selling author, economist and activist, will speak on “How to Feed the World.”

According to the university, “Patel will argue that while humanity produces enough food to feed everyone on the planet, the world is disfigured by inequality.”

With a booming world population expected to reach 10 billion by the end of the century, Patel feels the solution to the hunger crisis will come from the sustainability of the Global South.

Patel has earned degrees from the University of Oxford, the

London School of Economics and Cornell University, and has worked for the World Bank and the World Trade Organization. He currently lives in San Francisco and works as a visiting scholar at UC Berkley’s Centre for African Studies.

His most recent book, The Value of Nothing, made it on to the New York Times’ bestsellers list in February 2010. The book revolves around Oscar Wilde’s observation that “nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

Patel joins the likes of Nobel prize-winning medical physicist Rosalyn Yalow, author and essayist John Ralston Saul and historian and politician Michael Ignatieff, who have all been honoured with giving the Whelen Lecture since its inception in 1986.

The lecture is co-ordinated

through the Centre for Continuing and Distance Education as a service for the office of the provost and vice-president academic.

“We require that the lecturer be an expert in a field that is offered by our university.... Also we ask that they be someone who has international recognition, strong academic credentials as well as a large public following,” said Bobbi Mumm, conference and program coordinator for CCDE. According to Mumm, the Whelen talk is known as the university’s crown lecture series, due mostly to the large cash endowment left by U of S alum Myron Whelen. Whelen was raised in rural Saskatchewan, and thus was aware of the limited opportunities people in remote parts of the country have to attend lectures and events featuring individuals of international renown.

large. The final choice is made by the Whelen steering committee.

Since the inaugural speech in 1987, Whelen lectures have regularly been recorded by CBC’s Ideas radio program, and this year it will be streamed live through the university’s website.

Raj Patel

Mumm says the lecturer is selected by an open nominations process, submitted primarily by the campus community but occasionally from the community at

Tickets to the Oct. 25 event are free, held at 7 p.m. in the Adam Ballroom at the Delta Bessborough Hotel. Seating, however, is limited, as Patel is expected to draw a large crowd. Public reception and book signing to follow.

U of S goes after rogue senators Admin cites trademark infringement against USSWORD

University of TM Saskatchewan

ISHMAEL N. DARO Editor-in-Chief The University of Saskatchewan is fighting back against a group of its own elected senators.

Established this year, University of Saskatchewan Senators Working to Revive Democracy, or USSWORD, has made a series of controversial statements about how the university is run.

Specifically, the group takes issue with corporate influence allegedly exercised at the U of S and with Nancy Hopkins, chair of the university’s board of governors.

Hopkins has been a director at uranium giant Cameco since 1992.

On Oct. 6, the university’s lawyers at McKercher LLP sent USSWORD a cease and desist letter. However, the university is not claiming any wrongdoing other than trademark infringement.

The phrase “University of Saskatchewan” is a trademark of the U of S and its use in

university is using the threat of the justice system as a way to silence people who are trying to get some remedy for serious problems at the university,” Finley said when reached by telephone.

According to her, the administration has a track record of using litigation or the threat of litigation as a way to intimidate troublesome members of the university community.

“They’re not dealing with the problems. The approach that they’re using is contributing to an escalation of the problems,” she said.

Brianna Whitmore/Graphics Editor

USSWORD’s name has drawn the ire of the administration.

“No one is authorized to use the [trademarks] in Canada except under written license from the University. This includes the use for any purpose, including without limitation political or social commentary purposes, especially if the use suggests an association or approval from the University,” the letter reads in part.

The letter concludes with a demand that USSWORD “immediately cease and desist from any and all unauthorized use” of the university’s trademarks and a warning that if “you do not comply, we have instructions to pursue all available legal remedies.”

Sandra Finley, the member of USSWORD to whom the letter was addressed, said the group has changed its name as a precaution.

The full name is now University Senators in Saskatchewan Working to Revive Democracy.

“What’s happening is the

“

Certainly as president, I have no sympathy for the motivations of this organization,” Peter MacKinnon U of S President

Finley was reluctant to alter the name of her group but ultimately took her lawyer’s advice and made the change.

“You have to choose where you will spend your time... and there’s no need to allow ourselves to be potentially drawn [into litigation] like that. It’s simply not worth testing it,” she said.

University president Peter MacKinnon insisted there is nothing out of the ordinary about the university’s actions.

“The University of Saskatchewan is a registered trademark,” he said via telephone from La Ronge, Sask.

Although numerous groups identify themselves in a manner

similar to USSWORD — the University of Saskatchewan Faculty Association, for example — MacKinnon said the senators were not an organization the university wanted to be associated with.

“The cease and desist letter is directed at an organization, a self-organized group of members of the senate, whose agenda is anything but a senate agenda and [which] has been prone to making ad hominem attacks on the chair of the board,” said MacKinnon.

MacKinnon insisted the university would also protect its trademark from other groups it disagreed with, like a group of senators that advocated for violence in hockey, for example, if they used “University of Saskatchewan” in their name.

USSWORD, however, seems to have particularly offended MacKinnon.

“Certainly as president, I have no sympathy for the motivations of this organization,” he said.

MacKinnon added that the threat of legal action was not an attempt to silence the group.

“What I wanted to do was protect the name of the University of Saskatchewan and did not want this body to cover themselves with the cloak of a University of Saskatchewan organization,” he said. “It’s not intimidation at all.

It’s the university seeking to do what it’s legally entitled to do.”

Mary Lou Ogle Study of Communications Scholarship The College of Arts and Science, with the Department of English, invite applications for a new scholarship in Communications.

The award, established in memory of Mary Lou Ogle, is meant to recognize and provide assistance to continuing students pursuing a Bachelor of Arts degree in English. The value is likely to be between $3,500.00 and $5,000.00 Applicants must:

·

be students entering the third or fourth year of the B.A. with a major in English

·

be residents of Saskatchewan

·

be graduates of a Saskatchewan high school

·

submit an essay of approximately 500 words outlining career intentions within the field of communications

A letter of application, with the accompanying essay, should be sent directly to: Dr. L. Vargo, Head, Department of English, University of Saskatchewan 9 Campus Drive Saskatoon, SK. S7N 5A5 APPLICATION DEADLINE: Thursday, 10 November, 2011

6• Opinions The Great U-Pass Debate

thesheaf.com/opinions • the sheaf •October 20, 2011

U-Pass: a pain in my ass Michael Cuthbertson Opinions Editor Taking the bus is the best commuting option for many students. It’s cheaper than driving and warmer than biking. Every day I pass the bus mall and see swarms of smiling passengers, proud to be seated on their graceful chariots.

Wait, what the hell am I saying?

People who take the bus, or loser cruiser, do so by necessity. If you live near campus or have your own vehicle, you avoid public transit at all costs. I personally live close enough to walk. But even when I lived in the suburbs, I preferred biking through ice and snow. Yes, I despise the bus system that much.* So tell me USSU, why are students like me paying $18 a month for a service we simply don’t need? Their short answer is that students voted for a “permanent” universal bus pass.

But this was back in 2008 and only 35 per cent of the student body actually voted in favour of that referendum.

Troubled by this, I asked Reid Nystuen, the students’ union’s VP of operations and finance, whether there is any way the USSU would hold another vote. He said it was possible — if five per cent of the student body signs a petition to hold one. He also told me the universal bus pass failed to pass a vote held in the early 2000s.

Basically, we’re “permanently” stuck with the U-Pass because of a poorly attended vote held years ago. And a lot of those voters have probably since graduated

from university and the loser cruiser.

There are a few students who can apply for exemption from this bus tax, students living on campus or outside city limits, for example.

But this double standard makes our “universal” system decidedly un-universal. By waving the fees for some, the USSU admits that students should not be charged if they won’t use the service.

So why can’t students living near campus, who have no use for the bus, apply for exemptions?

Nystuen said that Saskatoon Transit doesn’t go outside the city, while communities near campus, like Varsity View, do get service. The logic is that students living near campus pay for the pass because they can still use it around the city.

OK, but students living in residence can bus around town.

Why are they still exempted? Are you telling me rez-kids never leave campus? Nystuen speculated the reason nearby students don’t get exemption is that “it would be hard to pick where you draw the line.”

But that is precisely what the U-Pass does: draws a line, rather arbitrarily, on who pays and who doesn’t.

It’s unspeakable but, we’d be better off doing things like the University of Regina. They offer students discounted monthly bus passes, but it’s completely optional. This way, you don’t have people like me paying some rando’s bus fare every day.

If you read the “benefits” of the U-Pass on the USSU’s website, you’ll learn that it saves money for “cash-strapped students,” reduces our carbon footprint and “makes campus friendlier to pedestrians and cyclists” by reducing traffic.

How heartwarming.

Except that when I bike, I save more money, leave an even smaller carbon footprint and cause less traffic than the bus system does. For students like me, there are no benefits.

Now you’re probably saying, “Greedy bastard! Where’s your socialist spirit?” But a universal bus pass is very different from something like universal health care. Health care is a human right.

Bus passes are a consumer good.

Some consumers choose to ride the bus, others choose to bike.

Would you pay for a universal bike subsidy so I, and fellow cyclists, could save money?

More suitably, we should offer students cheap, optional bus passes. Then I could stop throwing $18 a month down the shitter. Given the rigid nature of the U-Pass, I don’t expect such change anytime soon.

But as long as I’m paying for this “universal” bus pass, I’d like it to live up to the name. Being a petty, but logical man, I demand rez-kids and out-of-towners start paying for the pass.

Until this happens, I’ll count my blessings. Next time I’m biking to school, I’ll remember: The U-Pass has made me slightly poorer, but I’m richer in spirit, for I am still not a bus patron. *I offer my heartfelt apology to any bus patrons that were harmed during the reading of this article.

Let’s talk about something else MATTHEW STEFANSON Production Manager Some of the younger members of our student community may not remember the turmoil that surrounded the birth of our U-Pass.

Back in 2008, the debate over this useful, affordable little hunk of plastic raged through campus. There were arguments on both sides, but it was eventually passed in a referendum that had the University of Saskatchewan’s typical lack of voter turnout.

Years later, some people are still questioning the value of the U-Pass, but there are many great reasons not to.

Understandably, the people who don’t take advantage of the U-Pass also don’t want to be paying for it, which is a reasonable viewpoint.

However, the only way that the system works is if everyone chips in.

As a student at the U of S, you pay a certain amount of your tuition to whatever the university decides to spend it on. The same goes for USSU fees. The money that goes into the U-Pass from every undergrad on campus ensures that students who are already on a shoestring budget can get to class safely and comfortably.

It gives students living on a diet of ramen noodles an easy and inexpensive way to reach campus.

Clearly, there are good philanthropic reasons to support the U-Pass. It gets members of the student body to school.

You could even make the argument that it’s good for Saskatoon, since that extra revenue could potentially

go into our city’s criminally bad transit system, improving the service that we are paying for.

Looking at it strictly in terms of price, the U-Pass is an excellent deal. We pay as much in a term for our unlimited access to the transit system as a post-secondary student would pay in a month without it. It allows students — a group typically strapped for cash — access to Saskatoon’s public transit system for a much more reasonable price.

The only reason the U-Pass works is that almost everyone at the U of S is paying for it. This means that everyone pays less, even if some of them don’t use it.

It’s the same idea as the fees we pay to infrastructure that go towards things like Griffiths Stadium or the PAC. Just because you don’t exercise or attend football games doesn’t mean that you’re going to get out of paying fees that allow the rest of the student body to do so.

More to the point, if we begin choosing which of our campus amenities we reward with a portion of our student fees, what will happen to all of the facilities that we so enjoy? If we worked on a pay-byuse basis, the university wouldn’t be able to improve the facilities and institutions that improve the reputation of our school.

But all of this is overshadowed by one thing. If we’re still mad about the $18 a month we spend on the U-Pass, we have entirely missed the mark.

As a fine arts student, my college is facing much greater financial injustices than this minor budget line.

Of the millions of the dollars funnelled into the university, a vast majority goes towards research institutions. So why would fine arts and humanities students waste any breath on the U-Pass, when the English department is facing such drastic cuts that many students can no longer fulfill their credit requirements? Why would I sit in my woefully under-equipped studio arts program and wonder why I’m spending $70 per term on bus fare?

Opinions

October 20, 2011 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/opinions

One-sided love

•7

A boy, his cell phone and too much whiskey NICHOLAS KINDRACHUK Oh cell phone, what do I even think of you? In many ways you make my life so much easier. I’m connected to everything everywhere I go and I love you for that. But my love for you is my issue, for when I have had a long talk with Mr. Jack Daniels, I love you too much. It may start innocently enough with a simple tweet like “Piñatas Rule Everything Around Me! #PinataClan.”

As dumb and innocent as that sounds, the frequency at which I tweet about piñatas is scarily approaching fetish levels. Sober, I love piñatas a completely appropriate amount. However, drunk me is starting to put that into question.

As the night develops, so does my love affair with my phone. Facebook is never touched though; one does not fuck with Facebook. But one certainly fucks with Twitter and texting.

Tweets range from my ongoing piñata obsession to when I suddenly remember I have emotions and feel as though I must, absolutely must, quote the likes of Sunset Rubdown or The National. Then I will text, oh, how I will text. All kinds of nonsensical awkward things are said — granted, usually not very well.

Of course when I say all these glorious things and make all these deep proclamations, I always include a smiley face. If the TV show Boondocks has taught me anything, it’s that “bitches love smiley faces” and indeed many girls do enjoy the occasional smiley face.

But I feel as though I misunderstand the idea of context or appropriateness when I’m in the middle of making sweet love to my phone. When I send messages like “This Washroom Has A Gloryhole!!!:)” it might give the wrong impression, as I had no intention of using said hole in the

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became a wink.

In some strange ways we live in a world run by emoticons, which is a terrifying thought.

I can safely say that not every late-night affair with my phone has been as ridiculous as these examples.

We all know that once enough liquid courage has been ingested, well, over-confidence doesn’t really cover it. My phone takes advantage of my drunkenness any chance it can get. It makes me say things to people that just really don’t need to be said. I think my phone sometimes sees me happy and brimming with confidence and feels the need to take me down a couple notches. I’m sure it always enjoys me having to clean up the mess I made the next day by using my phone again.

Even though my phone abuses me, I can’t hate it — I’m just too used to being connected. In some ways I suppose I have a Stockholm Syndrome affinity for my phone, for when night falls, it causes me nothing but grief, yet I still love it.

Once in a while, when there is a real emergency, my phone becomes nothing short of a hero and saves my ass when I really need it to — redeeming itself enough to hold our abusive relationship together.

I often wake up after a night of irresponsible texting and tweeting feeling awful. It’s not a hangover, just feeling like I’ve been used, like I just had a one night stand with my phone — which is fine because I love my phone. I just hope it used protection.

8• Opinions

thesheaf.com/opinions • the Sheaf • October 20, 2011

Voters need to get informed

#sk2011

Before we vote we must understand the parties NICOLE BARRINGTON With the constant stream of advertisements and articles being published, it’s hard to ignore the upcoming provincial election.

One of these election-related pieces, a recent article in the StarPhoenix’s weekly feature paper Bridges, caught my eye. I was pleased at first to see an article that spoke to younger generations, emphasizing our important role in society as future leaders.

The article featured Zoey Roy, who started the non-partisan movement Rock the Vote in Saskatchewan. I was both pleased and thankful to hear this young woman’s story of overcoming adversity, her passion for politics and effectively relating to youth through music. However, I would disagree with the notion that a non-partisan movement is the most effective tool for getting young people to vote.

Although I agree that politicians don’t hear the youth perspective, I disagree that it’s a vicious cycle. There is a serious lack of education about the function of government in society, especially in our generation. There is also a lack of appreciation for those who fought for democracy, that I feel non-partisan movements only perpetuate.

The attitude of a non-partisan movement is that voting is of most importance (this aspect receives a lot of hype), while education about individual parties is not emphasized.

This said, I have to give credit to the Rock the Vote movement, which at least provides workshops that, according to their website, educate about the various platforms.

However, non-partisan movements ask the

Do you really know who and what you’re voting for?

wrong question — if asking anything at all.

The question of “Why are you voting for X party?” is just as important as the statement of “get out and vote!” We all have the right to vote, but we need to educate ourselves on these platforms. A person must be able to relate to the issues, platforms and parties before feeling that voting is imperative. In short, we will only educate ourselves (or simply care) if we are interested. This is mere speculation, but I believe that we will only become interested if we feel that we need to

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change this country.

It’s unfortunate that as youth, only 37 per cent of us exercised this privilege in the 2008 federal election. Although the youth numbers are not in from the most recent election, overall, the percentage of voters increased only two per cent, from 59 to 61. So not even two out of three people voted. I can barely fathom this amount of apathy; there has to be a steel veil between the citizens and government of this country.

Do we have that much trust in our

governments that we believe whoever runs our country from their pedestal is going to be good enough? Do we believe that if we all congregate together and celebrate our similarities in good ol’ kumbayah-fashion we can change this world? Who cares who you are voting for, just get out and vote? I realize this isn’t the intent of these groups, but unfortunately it comes off as being this simple.

Of course, if we could all sit down and effectively come to a conclusion about the sort of government we want, and get the majority of citizens in this country to vote, perhaps then we could change things.

As citizens of this country, we are seriously disconnected from our government. Perhaps this is because of everyday distractions; Facebook (admittedly guilty), television and excessively mind-numbing music turning us into good little consumers. As citizens, we need to realize that the future can be in our hands if we get off our asses and reach for it.

We just need to educate ourselves.

Of course, we can’t talk politics all of the time, but why can’t two people sit down with a beer and explain their beliefs? Why does this have to be a social taboo? Do we need to keep the peace so we can have lots of “friends”?

All I’m asking is that as citizens, we share a brief moment of lucidity and ask ourselves: why do we act this way? Let’s be responsible for the future of our country by actually understanding who and what we are voting for.

Brad Wall A great spokesperson and leader for Saskatchewan?

or

A stentorian robot with little to no personality?

Have an opinion?

Send your article submissions to The Sheaf ’s opinions editor. opinions@thesheaf.com Or stop in during the opinions contributors meeting on Wednesdays 2 to 3 p.m.

October 20, 2011 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/opinions

Opinions

Stop being so awkward

•9

No topic of conversation, no matter how bizarre, is inherently awkward CHRISTOPHER CARMICHAEL The Campus (Bishop's University) SHERBROOKE (CUP) — “Awkward” is the word that people use to proclaim their embarrassment when the content of a conversation makes them feel uncomfortable. In truth, “awkward” has nothing to do with content, and everything to do with context. Awkwardness isn’t a product of what's being said, but a measure of how uncomfortable you are saying or hearing it.

For example, if I were to start talking to some random girl about this one time in the second grade when I accidentally pooped on the lid of the toilet seat, she might say, “Awkward!” However, if I were to tell my mother the exact same story, she would laugh and praise me for my selfdeprecating sense of humour.

Given that the story is the same in both conversations, the non-awkward outcome with my mother indicates that she and I understand that everybody poops, and there’s nothing awkward about it. Granted, my mother wiped my ass for years, but even so, why should the same kind of understanding be missing in my conversation with the random girl? Why should it be awkward to discuss something as common as defecation?

The point I’m trying to make is that no topic of conversation, no matter how bizarre, is inherently awkward. If a random girl feels embarrassed when discussing my ancient bowel movements, it’s because she can’t live with the fact that, below the surface, people are far more disgusting than the image they present. For some reason, it’s quite common for people to deny the implications of their own biology.

What advantage do we gain from this repressive type of thinking? Maybe you only feel comfortable discussing “polite” subjects, but the undeniable truth is that you came flying into this world out of a woman’s vagina, and now that you’re here, you’re pooping on a regular basis. Wouldn’t you rather live with the truth than maintain antiquated Victorian sensibilities?

Indeed, to go around affecting awkwardness about the facts of life indicates the extent to which you — not the facts — are awkward. If you happen to feel awkward discussing masturbation, it doesn’t mean that masturbating is awkward; it means that you are awkward for failing to come to terms with a universal human behavior. The same logic applies to all those gross-yet-universal things we all do, but refuse to publicly acknowledge. Things like picking your nose, or wanting to have kinky sex or looking at your poop after you wipe.

What good does it do us to deny the reality of our own actions and desires? So many wonderful activities and ideas are shunned as taboo because we’re afraid to accept them as part of ourselves. Within this denial of self we find what is truly awkward: those who are afraid to express their unusual sexual desires, those who are afraid to voice their controversial political opinions and those who cannot accept themselves for who they are because they’re “different.”

Our fear of being awkward prevents us from enjoying all the really fun parts of being human. As children, we ran around naked without even the slightest hint of embarrassment. Now that we’re adults, we can’t act in accord with our desires. Let us embrace the spirit of our childhood by recognizing how wonderful it is to be strange. If nothing else, at least our conversations will be more interesting!

How much more fascinating would life be if we all started talking about our secrets? Imagine the glory that could be ours if only we shunned the typical and sought the extraordinary!

Instead of drinking beer and watching hockey, we could eat exotic fruit and perform sock puppet theatre! Instead of going out for coffee, we could snog in pillow forts until the sun comes up. Almost anything would be better than what passes for normal these days.

There’s a world of infinite possibility out there, and your fear of being awkward is the only thing preventing you from investigating its subtle delicacy.

Why so awkward? Everybody poops.

Diamond Farah/ Flickr

10•Sports

thesheaf.com/sports • the sheaf • October 20, 2011

Offensive woes continue for football team Second loss to Calgary this season means tight playoff race for Dogs COLE GUENTER The fireworks in Griffiths Stadium provided more of a spark than the University of Saskatchewan Huskies offence Oct. 14 in the Dogs’ 20-8 loss to the University of Calgary Dinos.

“I think we dropped five or six passes. We didn’t run hard, we didn’t block anybody and it was pretty much a total offensive collapse,” said Huskies coach Brian Towriss.

He acknowledged that it’s not a matter of completely fixing the problem that has plagued the team’s ability to put points on the board, but just trying to eliminate some mistakes and to get a little better each week.

Trent Peterson started the game as quarterback for the Dogs, but was replaced by Jahlani Gilbert-Knorren midway through the second quarter — this is a routine that the Huskies have practiced all year in order to give both young quarterbacks valuable playing experience.

Peterson totalled four completions for 46 yards through the air, was sacked once and threw one interception.

Gilbert-Knorren finished with an awful completion percentage of just 28 percent on 25 attempts and collected a lousy 58 passing yards on those completions.

On the last play of the third quarter, from under the shadow of his own goal post, he was picked off by Calgary’s defensive halfback Mike Edem, who ran it back 15 yards for Calgary’s only touchdown of the game.

“It was a long day for us. We didn’t come very prepared.

We didn’t have that bounce we had last week at home, [but] we have to find it,” said a frustrated Gilbert-Knorren, adding that the team would “need to watch film, focus on Regina and focus on closing out the season with two wins.”

Dinos kicker Johnny Mark was responsible for scoring the other 13 points in the team’s winning effort. He was good on 4 of 5 field goal attempts, scoring one in each quarter. He also counted a single point off a punt that went through the end zone early in the game.

It took Saskatchewan more than 29 minutes to get on the scoreboard. With less than a minute remaining in the second quarter, on one of his 15 punts of the night, Stephen McDonald booted it through the end zone to put a single point on the board for the Dogs going into half time.

The Huskies’ only touchdown came on a special teams play with five minutes remaining in the game. Nico Higgs snuck through to block a Calgary punt and the ball bounced all the way back into the Dinos end zone before being scooped up by Shane Dueck for a major score.

The only other bright spot in the game for the Dogs Sheaf Ad3 Symptoms 2011:The Sheaf

8/30/11

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Slotback Braeden George and the Huskies were held to just 74 total offensive yards Oct. 14.

will get into a rhythm, but it’s a question of time now. With only two games remaining in the season, the Huskies are in a three-team race for the final two playoff spots.

They currently sit in third in the Canada West conference with a 3-3 record alongside the Manitoba Bisons, who are also 3-3. Regina, 2-4, could potentially steal a playoff spot if they win their next two games.

Calgary is the only undefeated team in the conference while UBC, 4-2, has secured the second playoff spot.

was the always consistent play of the defence. They spent almost 38 minutes of the game on the field defending and didn’t allow a single offensive touchdown. They forced five fumbles and recovered two of them. They also held Calgary, a team that averages 39 points per game, to only 20 points — seven of which they weren’t even on the field for.

For all the time spent on the field, Saskatchewan linebacker Tom Lynch still struck an optimistic note.

“As a defensive player you just love to be out there to jump at every opportunity,” said Lynch, who finished with 11 tackles on the night.

He also warned that the Huskies are a young team.

“You get a good young team like this and it takes a little longer to fit all the pieces in, but once we hit our stride, watch out.”

Amid all the frustrations, the team still has confidence it

The Huskies travel to Regina this week for their second game against the Rams this season — Saskatchewan won the first meeting between the teams 33-10 at home on Sept. 9.

Page 1

Symptoms ◆ ◆ ◆

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breast lumps (most common) breast thickening dimpling/puckering of the breast breast changes (size, shape, skin) breast swelling, redness, warmth or pain

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Sports

October 20, 2011 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/sports

•11

Huskies hockey perfect on the weekend

Shelby Davey of the Huskies fends off Regina’s Courtney Mish.

The Huskies Matthew Spafford looking to bury the rebound.

Raisa Pezderic/Photo Editor

KEVIN MENZ Sports Editor

Huskies men top Regina twice in home-and-home series The Huskies men’s hockey team scored 10 goals in two games to down the Regina Cougars twice this past weekend.

The home-and-home series saw the Dogs win 5-2 in Regina on Oct. 14 and 5-4 the next night in Saskatoon.

In the first game, the Huskies scored three goals within the opening five minutes. Garrett Thiessen scored at the 1:35 mark while Dogs captain and former Cougar Kyle Ross buried the team’s second goal only two minutes later. Shaun Vey added the third less than a minute later.

Vey’s goal prompted Regina to replace starting goaltender A.J. Whiffen with backup Lucas Gore.

The switch proved beneficial — Gore stopped 39 shots — but was not enough to mount a Cougars comeback as Kyle Bortis and Chad Suer of the Dogs both scored in the second period on the power play.

Regina would bury two in the third period but it would be too little too late for the Cougars.

Regina, who were outshot by the Huskies

41-15 in the first two periods, recorded 10 shots to the Dogs’ five in the third period.

They were able to carry this third period momentum into the second game.

While the Huskies were still able to pull out the win, the second game — which was also the Dogs’ home opener — saw Regina outshoot Saskatchewan 28-21 and saw both sides exchange leads several times throughout the game.

After a slow first period, the Dogs got off to a 2-0 lead early in the second with goals from Brennan Bosch and Suer. Regina would take the lead shortly thereafter, however, by scoring three goals in three minutes midway through the frame.

Unfortunately for his former team, Ross wouldn’t let the Cougars keep that lead. He buried a goal only 33 seconds after Regina’s third goal to tie the game up going into the third period.

Regina would regain its lead early in the third, but two quick goals only 29 seconds apart by Bortis would steal the game for the Huskies.

The win moved the Huskies to 3-0 on the season and into second place in the Canada West. They sit two points behind the 4-0 Manitoba Bisons but have a game in hand.

Regina fell to last place in the conference with a 0-4 record.

Bortis recorded three goals and two assists on the weekend and now sits atop the Canada West with nine points this season.

Huskies women win opener 7-1 The Huskies women’s hockey team burst into the 2011-12 season Oct. 14 with a 7-1 victory at home over the Regina Cougars.

The Huskies, whose scorers were out in full force, saw several players’ names penned onto the score sheet.

Third-year Danny Stone led with two power play goals and one assist.

Kelsey Tulloch had one goal and one assist, Julie Paetsch had two assists and Sara White, Cara Wooster, Kandace Cook and Kelsey Fenton each had one goal.

It was only in the last two minutes that Regina was able to get on the board and spoil goaltender Mackenzie Rizos’s shutout efforts.

With 1:59 left in the third period, Paige Wheeler slid the puck past Rizos during a scramble in front of the net.

Rizos stopped 23 of the Cougar’s 24 shots and was named second star for her effort.

Wooster was given the first star and Dogs’ captain Kristen Bews was named third.

Regina goaltender Jennifer Schmidt stopped 23 of 31 shots.

The win was the first game of a home-and-

Honest Advice and Professional Service

Pete Yee

home series between the teams, which saw Saskatchewan take the second game 2-0 in Regina the following night.

In that game, the Huskies outshot the Cougars 34-16 but were still unable to beat goaltender Lisa Urban until the third period.

White scored a short-handed marker past Urban early in the third after burying a rebound off a Julie Paetsch shot.

Six minutes later, Stone added the insurance for the Dogs.

Urban made 32 saves in the game and was named second star. Huskies goaltender Vanessa Frederick, the game’s first star, was perfect on the 16 shots she faced.

Stone, who was named the game’s first star, totalled four points on the weekend and is currently tied for first amongst the Canada West’s top scorers.

The Huskies men’s hockey team will host the Lethbridge Pronghorns at home Oct. 21 and 22 while the women’s team will travel to Lethbridge to face the Pronghorns.

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12• Sports

thesheaf.com/sports • the Sheaf • October 20, 2011

Dogs’ playoff hopes challenged by Dinos KEVIN MENZ Sports Editor

Huskies women’s soccer one point behind top four spot

While the Huskies women’s soccer team fared slightly better than their male counterparts on Oct. 16, Calgary still challenged Saskatchewan’s playoff hopes.

The Huskies women tied Calgary 1-1 but nearly lost due to a handball in the game’s closing minutes.

Late in the game, Saskatchewan was called for a handball in the box, providing Calgary’s Tessa Miller with a chance to end the game. Fortunately for the Huskies, however, she rung the penalty shot off the post.

The game’s only scoring came in the 11th minute off a Sarah Benson goal for Calgary and a 48th minute goal by Gillian Pinder of the Huskies.

Calgary outshot Saskatchewan 20-11.

While the tie prevented the Dinos — who were two points behind the Dogs for fifth spot in the conference going into the game — from passing Saskatchewan in the standings, it prevented the Huskies from moving ahead of Victoria.

Victoria currently holds fourth place in the Canada West but is only one point ahead of the Huskies.

Saskatchewan, Victoria and Calgary are all within three points of each other for the conference’s fourth and final playoff spot but Victoria has played two more games than both Saskatchewan and Calgary.

Playoffs begin on Nov. 4.

Huskies men’s soccer playoff hopes slipping

The Huskies men’s soccer team lost a crucial game this past weekend in Calgary.

The Dogs, who are in a tight race to qualify for the Canada West final four playoff, fell 1-0 to the University of Calgary Dinos Oct. 16.

Yoann Promonet’s goal in the 30th minute for the Dinos was the game’s only goal despite strong scoring attempts and end-to-end rushes from both sides.

Huskies keeper Mark Diakiw recorded 10 saves on the Dinos’ 20 shots while Dinos keeper Jordan Unreiner had six on Saskatchewan’s 13 shots.

With the loss, the Huskies — who were one point ahead of Calgary going into the game — fell two points behind the Dinos and into sixth place in the Canada West with a 4-4-2 record. Calgary now sits fifth amongst the eight teams with a 5-4-1 record.

British Columbia, Victoria, Alberta, Trinity Western, Calgary and Saskatchewan are all within seven points of each other and could all qualify for the conference’s four playoff spots. With Saskatchewan on the bottom of that points list in sixth place, however, the Huskies will have to win a majority of their remaining games to play in the final four, which begin Nov. 5.

Canada West Standings Standings 1. Calgary x 2. UBC x 3. Manitoba 4. Saskatchewan 5. Regina 6. Alberta

Standings

6-0 4-2 3-3 3-3 2-4 0-6

Scoring (TDs)

GP 5 2. Steven Lumbala - CGY 6 Chris Dobko - CGY 6

TD 7 6 6

Rush 6 6 0

Pass 1 0 6

Tackles 1. J. Hetherington - AB 2. T. Michalchuk - SASK 3. Sam Hurl - CGY

GP 6 6 6

Solo 44 29 26

Ast. 18 18 22

Total 53.0 38.0 37.0

GP 6 2. Duncan Morris - AB 6 3. Linden Gaydosh - CGY 6

Solo 5 4 4

Ast. 0 1 0

Total 5.0 4.5 4.0

Interceptions 1. Levar Hayden - UBC Michael Lau - CGY Jamir Walker - REG

No. 3 3 3

Yards 94 39 0

1. A. Coombs - MAN

x - clinched playoff spot

League Leaders Rushing 1. Adrian Charles - REG 2. Steven Lumbala - CGY 3. A. Coombs - MAN

GP 6 6 5

Att. 133 93 63

Passing 1. Billy Greene - UBC 2. K. Williams - MAN 3. Eric Dzwilewski - CGY

GP 6 6 6

Com-Att-Int 131-215-3 97-167-6 93-158-3

Receiving 1. Jordan Grieve - UBC 2. Chris Dobko - CGY 3. Jared Janotta - REG

GP 6 6 6

Rec. 33 39 30

Yards 756 729 472

Long 33 45 69

TD 2 6 6

Yards 1828 1378 1265

Long 72 90 61

Yards 646 459 427

Long 72 40 69

TD 4 6 3

TD 14 7 10

Sacks

1. Serge Kaminsky - UBC

GP 6 6 6

Long 63 33 0

Pts. 42 36 36

1. Alberta 2. Saskatchewan 3. Lethbridge 4. UBC 5. Calgary 6. Manitoba 7. Regina

MEN’S HOCKEY Standings 1. Manitoba 2. Saskatchewan* 3. UBC 4. Alberta 5. Calgary 6. Lethbridge* 7. Regina

*The Saskatchewan at Lethbridge game on Oct. 1 — each team’s second of the season — was stopped after the second period due to ice resurfacing problems. It will be rescheduled at a later date.

4-0-0 3-0-0 2-0-2 2-1-1 1-3-0 1-2-0 0-4-0

League Leaders Points 1. Kyle Bortis - SASK 2. Max Grassi - UBC Derek Hulak - SASK

GP 4 4 4

Goals 3 2 2

Goals 1. Taylor Stefishen - CGY Brennan Bosch - SASK Taylor Gal - LETH

GP 2 4 4

No. 4 4 4

Ast. 6 5 5

Totals 9 7 7

P/G 2.25 1.75 1.75

Assists 1. Kyle Bortis - SASK Teigan Zahn - CGY T3. Max Grassi - UBC

GP 4 4 4

Plus/Minus 1. Derek Hulak - SASK 2. Kyle Bortis - SASK T3. Thomas Carr - AB

GP 4 4 3

Total +7 +5 +4

Penalty Minutes 1. Chad Erb - MAN 2. Jared Walker - MAN 3. Russ Nielsen - REG

GP 4 4 4

Total 40 21 19

No. 6 6 5

Yards 30 48 28 TD 0 0 0

Points 1. Monika Moskalski - AB Danny Stone - SASK T3. Sarah Hilworth - AB

GP 2 2 2

Goals 3 3 2

Goals

GP 2 2 2

No. 3 3 2

GP 2 2 2

No. 3 2 2

Plus/Minus 1. Kelsey Fenton - SASK 2. Brooke Mutch - SASK Brandi Buss - AB

GP 2 1 2

Total +3 +2 +2

Penalty Minutes 1. N. Brown-John - UBC Nicole Pratt - AB 3. Julia Flinton - SASK

GP 2 2 2

Total 8 8 6

1. Monika Moskalski - AB

Danny Stone - SASK T3. Sarah Hilworth - AB

Assists 1. Julie Paetsch - SASK 2. S. Ballendine - LETH

1. TWU 2. Alberta 3. UBC 4. Victoria 5. Saskatchewan 6. Calgary 7. UFV 8. Manitoba 9. Regina 10. Lethbridge

8-1-1 8-2 7-1-2 5-4-3 5-3-2 4-3-3 3-6-3 2-6-2 1-8-1 0-9-1

Points 1. Heather Lund - AB 2. Janine Frazao - UBC Elizabeth Hudon - SASK

GP 10 10 10

Goals 8 8 6

Ast. 2 1 3

Total 10 9 9

Ast. 1 1 1

Totals 4 4 3

P/G 2.0 2.0 1.5

Men’s Soccer Standings 6-1-3 6-2-2 5-2-3 5-3-2 5-4-1 4-4-2 1-8-1 1-9

1. UBC 2. Victoria 3. Alberta 4. TWU 5. Calgary 6. Saskatchewan 7. UFV 8. Lethbridge

WOMen’s Soccer Standings

2-0-0 2-0-0 1-1-0 1-1-0 0-0-0 0-2-0 0-2-0

League Leaders

Karla Bourke - AB

League Leaders

The Huskies men’s and women’s soccer teams are on the road Oct. 21 and 22 to face the Trinity Western Spartans and the University of British Columbia Thunderbirds.

WOMEN’S HOCKEY

FOOTBALL

League Leaders

Goals 1. Janine Frazao - UBC Heather Lund - AB T3. E. Hudon - SASK

GP 10 10 10

No. 8 8 6

Avg. 0.80 0.80 0.60

Assists 1. Kayla Michaels - AB Jenna Di Nunzio - TWU T3. D. Fuenzalida - SASK

GP 10 10 8

No. 5 5 4

Avg. 0.50 0.50 0.50

Saves 1. T. Willoughby - LETH 2. M. Wilford - SASK Chloe Werle - MAN

GP 9 10 9

No. 64 61 61

Avg. 7.11 6.10 6.78

Points 1. J. B-Hamilton - SASK 2. Brett Colvin - AB Navid Mashinchi - UBC

GP 10 8 9

Goals 6 3 3

Ast. 4 4 4

Goals

GP 10 10 10

No. 6 5 5

Avg. 0.60 0.50 0.50

Assists 1. Brett Colvin - AB Cameron Schmidt - AB Navid Mashinchi - UBC

GP 8 8 9

No. 4 4 4

Avg. 0.50 0.50 0.44

Saves

GP 10 10 7

No. 68 58 38

Avg. 6.80 5.80 5.43

1. J. B-Hamilton - SASK 2. Craig Gorman - UVIC

S. Schmidt - TWU

1. Colin Pattison - LETH 2. Mark Diakiw - SASK T3. Elliot Mitrou - UVIC

Total 10 7 7

Interested in sports journalism? Send sports editor Kevin Menz an email or see him in the Sheaf office Mondays from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.

He will teach you everything he knows, like a modern-day Mr. Miyagi. sports@thesheaf.com

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October 20 , 2011 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/arts

Contagion across the globe

Arts •13

Steven Soderbergh’s viral thriller is clinical and chilling AREN BERGSTROM Arts Editor

It all starts with one touch, one sneeze, one cough — and one fatality can become 30 million.

Directed by Steven Soderbergh (Traffic, Ocean’s Eleven), Contagion is a thriller charting the growth of a deadly virus called MEV-1 that spreads through indirect contact and kills within days.

It’s a terrifying film, but not because of visceral thrills. The disturbing quality of this film is mostly psychological as it makes you look at every surface you touch as a potential spreader of death.

Contagion is an ensemble film. Each character interacts with the virus and is pertinent to the plot, but this is not solely their story.

Contagion is ultimately the story of a virus and those who get in its way.

Beth Emhoff (Gwyneth Paltrow) is the first person to come into contact with MEV-1, bringing it back with her from a business trip in Hong Kong. After Beth and her son die from the disease, her husband Mitch (Matt Damon) is quarantined and becomes the film’s exploration of the everyman in the inevitable societal meltdown. The disease quickly spreads to all those whom Beth came into contact with, turning from a rare outbreak to a global catastrophe.

Amidst the ensemble, Laurence Fishburne plays a director of the Center for Disease Control working to find a cure for the disease and Kate Winslet is his CDC field agent setting up a quarantine base in Beth’s hometown of Minneapolis, Minn. Marion Cotillard is an agent for the World Heath Organization dispatched to China to track down the source of the disease and Jude Law plays an iconoclastic anti-pharmaceutical blogger spreading panic through his popular website.

In addition to the above mentioned, Contagion boasts a series of great actors in

Jude Law’s blogger spreads distrust of the CDC through flyers in the streets of San Francisco.

cameos, including John Hawkes as a janitor for the CDC, Elliot Gould as a viral researcher and Bryan Cranston as an admiral. With this much talent on display, it’s easy to think this is an actor’s film but it really is not. It is a film about atmosphere and information.

Contagion is a clinical film and not just in its depiction of the disease. Avoiding the preposterous sensationalism and melodrama of a film like Outbreak, the film tries to give an extremely accurate portrait of how a pandemic would spread in the modern world and the results are very convincing. The film gives you plenty of good information on how a disease spreads, how vaccines are made and the stages of collapse that a society would undergo during such a crisis. It convinces you that 70 million people could die from a random disease spread arbitrarily at any moment.

The only problem with this clinical depiction is that the result is emotionally cold. The viewer’s reaction to the film is paranoia, not empathy. The cast bring their A-game, but there isn’t enough time with any of the characters to really connect to them. Thus, the mostly excellent performances are only pieces of a whole and not standouts in their own right.

Jude Law’s blogger is the only character that does not seem to fit in the film. He seems to be channeling the qualities of a real person but there’s no specific individual in real life who matches his views or has his kind of sway over society. As well, the character’s motivations and concerns just make little sense all around. Law is good but his character is the film’s one break from realism.

However, from a strictly filmmaking point of view, Contagion is terrifically made.

supplied

Soderbergh is as technically proficient a director as they come and he deftly creates an overwhelming atmosphere of paranoia and inescapable infection. The cinematography is crisp and capable, and the multifaceted story jumps from one character to another in an easyto-follow manner.

Contagion is a terrifying depiction of how one tiny, arbitrary event could devastate the planet. It may be a little passionless for a depiction of a world catastrophe but its fidelity to fact and its atmosphere make for a potent film that also acts as a sermon for washing your hands.

Contagion is currently playing at Galaxy Cinemas.

Editor’s Pick of the Week The Lion King (In 3D)

Of all the great films made during the Silver Age of Disney (Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast and The Little Mermaid), The Lion King is the best of the bunch.

From the gorgeous animation of the African landscape to Elton John and Tim Rice’s wonderful and catchy songs to Hans Zimmer’s Oscar-winning score to the plotline that riffs on Hamlet — The Lion King is unlike any other Disney film. It’s impossibly entertaining, suitable for children, but also superb drama. There are few animated films, nay, few films as good as The Lion King.

Thus, the opportunity to see this film on the big screen should not be something you pass up. And the 3D isn’t bad either. It works surprisingly well for a traditionally-animated film.

YOUR ADVENTURE BEGINS HERE!

supplied

FLEECE JACKETS HIKING BOOTS SPORTSWEAR

BACKPACKS SLEEPING BAGS TENTS TRAVEL PACKS

It has been out for a while already, so go see it before it disappears from the theatres and back into the realm of children’s home entertainment.

STUDENT DISCOUNT

The Lion King (In 3D) is currently playing at Galaxy Cinemas.

630 BROADWAY AVENUE

374-1663

14• Arts

thesheaf.com/arts • the Sheaf • October 20, 2011

The Great Mystery unveiled

arts in brief

Exhibition provides glimpse of Burning Man in Saskatoon LAURA ALFORD I just went to write a review.

Some time later I was lying on the floor in a dark room. Only black light. Above, dancers whirled neonlaced hula hoops and fiberoptic rainbow wands. They wore tight black suits with fringy neon epaulettes.

A woman behind me wailed operatically. The video projection on the wall had us sailing through space.

I stood up and joined a circle of strangers (really nice strangers).

There were hundreds of balls on the floor. We each held two in our hands. We all made the same motions, a spontaneous routine. It reminded me of morning exercises at church camp. Sort of like that.

I don't want to give too much away. But I was experiencing The Great Mystery.

The Great Mystery is a collaborative art project conceived

by Jackie Latendresse, director of Free Flow Dance, and performance artist Adrian Stimson.

It brings together local dancers, a live DJ, spoken word, video, musicians and a contact juggler.

"It's part performance, part participation, part party!" said Latendresse.

Latendresse and Stimson are longtime participants (you don't attend, you participate) of the Burning Man Festival. Since 1986, for one week of each summer, people from all walks of life create a temporary community in Nevada's Black Rock Desert.

The week ends with the ritual burning of a giant effigy and participants must agree to leave behind no trace of their activity.

There are no garbage bins, no grocery stores. The festival is known for its principles of participation, immediacy and communal effort.

Stimson has participated in Burning Man for 11 years. He says what he continues to take away from the experience is “the idea of ephemera.”

"Life is brief. The encounters we have are brief," he said.

“For me, the festival is about artistic renewal. And it's a lot of fun," said Latendresse.

Together, they are bringing the spirit of Burning Man to Saskatoon.

They describe The Great Mystery as a fusion of Burning Man and Blackfoot creation mythology.

Stimson is a Saskatoon-based artist from Siksika Nation and a sessional instructor at the University of Saskatchewan. He explained what “the great mystery" means in Blackfoot culture: "It's part of our cosmology and creation mythology. It's about the idea that we come from somewhere, but we don't know. That's a huge space to play in."

With play and mystery in mind, Latendresse and Stimson gathered ideas from a diverse group of Saskatoon artists. The result is a three-hour interactive experience.

The event takes place at the Refinery at 609 Dufferin Ave. where the normal theatre setting is transformed. With traditional

Free movies at Galaxy Cinemas

Twirling neon hula hoops in the dark.

seating removed, the distance between performers and audience collapses.

Stimson greets you in a buckskin tunic beaded by his grandmother.

You are given a survival kit containing fractal glasses and an introduction to the event. From there, it's pretty much up to you.

"We want people to come with an open mind, prepared to get involved," said Latendresse.

Under black light, dancers flit around in spectacular costumes.

They act as guides in an artificial universe.

Participants, too, are encouraged to dress in costume. If it glows, great. And you can contribute to the project in any way you like.

“Far too often we want to be entertained,” said Stimson. “Here you are within the environment itself.”

The project unfolds as a string of different interactive performances.

Although it's scripted and thematically cohesive, it feels spontaneous, almost improvised.

“Everyone — their voice, their

supplied

body — is involved and I don't want to control that too much,” Stimson explained. “This is about being in the present. It's what I love about performance art: inclusion, spontaneity, the unknown."

Obviously, The Great Mystery is a new sort of event for the city.

“People around Saskatoon can be a little nervous about trying something new,” said Latendresse.

"We're hoping they will take a chance on it."

"It forces people out of their comfort zones," added Stimson.

I can attest to that: not even a journalist would sit in the corner.

The Great Mystery takes place Oct. 21 and 22 at the Refinery, 8 to 11 p.m.

Tickets can be purchased by calling 653-5191 or at ontheboards.ca

In support of Starlight Children’s Foundation, Cineplex Entertainment is showing free movies at Galaxy Cinemas during the morning of Saturday Oct. 22. The fundraising aspect is that regular popcorn, regular drinks and certain candies are on sale for $2 with all proceeds being donated to the Starlight Children’s Foundation. As the charity is aimed at children, the films are too — but that doesn’t mean there aren’t some films for everyone to enjoy. So, head out to the movie theatre this Saturday, buy some popcorn and a drink, support a charity and enjoy a movie with your family or friends.

Free movies schedule: 9:00 a.m. • Yogi Bear (3D) 9:10 a.m. • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 9:20 a.m. • Green Lantern 9:30 a.m. • Happy Feet 9:40 a.m. • Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole (3D) 9:50 a.m. • Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore Doors open at 8:30 a.m.

Late to the game with the Nintendo 3DS Examining Nintendo’s latest handheld gaming system AREN BERGSTROM Arts Editor It took me over half a year to finally succumb to Nintendo’s spell and buy a Nintendo 3DS. It was a wise decision.

The Nintendo 3DS was released on March 27 of this year and is the latest in Nintendo’s long line of handheld gaming devices. This honoured tradition started back in 1989 with the Game Boy and has gone through various iterations over the years such as the Game Boy Color in 1998, the Game Boy Advance in 2001 and the DS in 2004.

The Nintendo 3DS is an impressive little gaming system. Its most obvious and gimmicky feature is its 3D screen, which allows the player to see 3D images without the need for 3D glasses. While there are plenty of grumblers out there constantly bemoaning the use of 3D in movies who likely dread the idea of this current trend invading video games, the presence of 3D in video gaming is actually logical and extremely impressive, especially for handheld gaming.

The largest problem that handheld gaming currently has, and likely will always have, is that the game screen

is too small. There’s no way a fourinch screen will ever match up to a 40-inch High Definition television.

Luckily, 3D solves some of this problem. The most useful aspect of 3D is that it gives the game depth.

While composition can provide a lot of depth in an image on its own, 3D expands this depth in ways mere composition cannot. It makes the screen seem so much larger because you’re looking into it, not at it. Thus, with the 3DS, it feels like you are looking into a window instead of just staring at a screen.

3D does have a few drawbacks to it. You have to hold it straight-on, about a foot from your face for it to work properly. It drains your battery life, which is already short, and dims the image. But the benefits of depth of field and visual complexity easily outweigh the limitations. It really does make the screen seem larger and make the images far more interesting than they are without it.

However, even if you do not like 3D or cannot appreciate it because of some vision issues, 3D is not the only aspect that recommends the 3DS. You can turn off or reduce the 3D using the slider on the right side of the system and by doing so you don’t reduce any of the system’s graphical

capabilities, which are quite an improvement over the original DS. The original DS graphics were comparable to the Nintendo 64.

While the 3DS graphics are not quite at Wii levels, they are a vast improvement on the 64-like graphics of the DS, and they’ll only get better as designers refine them and push the system to its full potential.

There is more texture to the image and the objects are more rounded, shying away from the 64’s blockiness. The colour palette is wider and more vibrant. Everything is sharp. When comparing The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time on 3DS and N64, the 3DS version is without the blurriness that made for major headaches on the N64.

The system also has an abundance of special features, which are quite neat and an added incentive to purchase the system. There are augmented reality games that take advantage of objects physically in the room with you. By placing a small card on an object and reading the card with your system’s camera, holographic creations appear onscreen that you can interact with.

As well, the camera used for the augmented reality games is also capable of taking 3D pictures.

The 3DS also comes with an Internet browser, access to a Virtual Console similar to the Wii’s where you can buy older systems’ games to play on the 3DS and access to the digital store where you can access a variety of applications.

But really, the big incentives when deciding to buy a system are the games. It’s fortunate then that the 3DS has some of the best games ever, remade for handheld use.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time is the Citizen Kane of video games. It is considered by many to be the greatest game ever made. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D has better graphics and uses the system’s touch screen and gyroscopic controls. It’s also exactly the same adventure it has always been, except with slight gameplay adjustments to compensate for being handheld. Thus, it’s ultimately the more polished, portable version of the best game ever made.

Starfox 64 3D is another remake of an N64 classic. Even more than Ocarina of Time, Starfox 64 lends itself to handheld gaming. It operates like an arcade game with its fastpaced flying missions and is perfect for the short bursts of hyperactive gameplay so typical of handheld

gaming. The graphics are better, the voice work has been redone and online multiplayer has been added into the mix.

Both of these games were classics on the N64 and it’s likely that many prospective owners of the 3DS already own them. However, the benefits of the 3DS and graphical improvements make these games worth owning even if you already have the original versions. The price alone is worth it to see these games in a new dimension, playable anywhere you carry your 3DS. People turned off by the whole concept of handheld gaming will not be won over by the 3DS, but for gamers who are curious about gaming in 3D or who have always wanted to see fancier versions of their favourite N64 games, the Nintendo 3DS is well worth owning. And things will only improve from here.

The 3DS is only half a year old.

November promises the release of Super Mario 3D Land and December has Mario Kart 7. Seeing what games Nintendo has in store for the system only proves that the best years of the 3DS are still to come.

•15

October 20, 2011 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/advertise

sHoW UP & votE ElEction Day is MonDay, novEMbEr 7, 2011

If you do not have ID, you can take an oath and have another eligible voter who has acceptable ID vouch for your identity and place of ordinary residence. This person can only vouch for one person.

from 9:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. c.s.t.

If you are a qualified voter but your name is not on the Voters’ List, on Election Day you will be able to vote by:

To voTe on elecTion Day you musT:

• making a declaration; and • showing satisfactory proof of your identity and place of ordinary residence.

• be a Canadian citizen; • be at least 18 years old; and • have lived in Saskatchewan for at least six months immediately preceding the day the election was called.

Or if • you are a British subject who was qualified as a voter on June 23, 1971; and • you meet the residency requirements listed above.

You may view the Voters’ List at your constituency Returning Officer’s office.

Revision of the Voters’ List will take place between October 13th and October 26th, 2011.

To make a revision to the Voters’ List, please call your constituency Returning Officer. Revision of the Voters’ List for a constituency will be conducted in the office of the Returning Officer between the hours of 9:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. C.S.T. Monday to Friday and 12 noon to 6:00 p.m. c.s.t. on Saturday.

This election all voters must show satisfactory proof of their identity and their place of ordinary residence.

Acceptable ID can be photo ID issued by a government agency with your name and address (eg. driver’s licence) or two original pieces of valid authorized identification (eg. health card and utility bill). For a full list of ID, please call or visit our website at elections.sk.ca.

You can also call 1-877-958-8683 – or visit us online at elections.sk.ca to find out: • identification requirements; • your voting location; • what to do if you’re a first-time voter, and • other important information about the election.

Or you may have another eligible voter vouch for your identity and place of ordinary residence. aDvance Polls Eligible electors may vote at an advance poll if they are unable to vote at a regular pole on Election Day. Every person who seeks to vote at an advance poll must make a declaration. Please visit our website for the locations of advance polls.

The dates and hours of voting at the advance polls are as follows: • Tuesday, November 1, 2011 - 3:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. c.s.t.

• Wednesday, November 2, 2011 - 3:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. c.s.t.

• Thursday, November 3, 2011 - 3:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. c.s.t.

• Friday, November 4, 2011 - 3:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. c.s.t.

• Saturday, November 5, 2011 - 12:00 noon to 7:00 p.m. c.s.t.

Further information on the revision of the Voters’ List can be obtained from your constituency Returning Officer: COnsTiTuenCy

ReTuRninG OffiCeR name TOLL-fRee #

emaiL

COnsTiTuenCy

Arm River-Watrous

Noreen Johns

1-855-249-7303

ro2@elections.sk.ca

Regina Rosemont

Dawn McDougall

1-855-780-3882

ro35@elections.sk.ca

Athabasca

Martin Corrigal

1-855-281-0654

ro3@elections.sk.ca

Regina South

Sandra Benson

1-855-827-5799

ro36@elections.sk.ca

Batoche

Carmelle Courmoyer

1-855-879-8008

ro4@elections.sk.ca

Regina Walsh Acres

Paul J. Wilson

1-855-879-8013

ro37@elections.sk.ca

Biggar

Violet Kyliuk

1-855-281-0655

ro5@elections.sk.ca

Regina Wascana Plains

Jeannette Martin

1-855-842-5351

ro38@elections.sk.ca

Cannington

Norm Riddell

1-855-281-0653

ro6@elections.sk.ca

Rosetown-Elrose

June Hintze

1-855-249-7298

ro39@elections.sk.ca

Canora-Pelly

Vivian Krakowski

1-855-281-0656

ro7@elections.sk.ca

Rosthern-Shellbrook

Ellen Wood

1-855-249-7299

ro40@elections.sk.ca

Carrot River Valley

Maureen Kurtz

1-855-249-7304

ro8@elections.sk.ca

Saskatchewan Rivers

Anne King

1-855-842-5333

ro41@elections.sk.ca

Cumberland

Marlene Wolkosky

1-855-780-3879

ro9@elections.sk.ca

Saskatoon Centre

Evelyn Sharman

1-855-780-3875

ro42@elections.sk.ca

Cut Knife-Turtleford

Gayla Morgan

1-855-780-3880

ro10@elections.sk.ca

Saskatoon Eastview

Danny Boyer

1-855-249-7306

ro43@elections.sk.ca

Cypress Hills

Melinda Roast

1-855-281-0652

ro11@elections.sk.ca

Saskatoon Fairview

Rosemarie Hackl

1-855-842-5352

ro44@elections.sk.ca

Estevan

Bing Forbes

1-855-879-8009

ro12@elections.sk.ca

Saskatoon Greystone

Judy Widdup

1-855-842-5353

ro45@elections.sk.ca

Humboldt

Jewel Thiessen

1-855-827-5791

ro13@elections.sk.ca

Saskatoon Massey Place

Annette Yarmovich

1-855-249-7307

ro46@elections.sk.ca

Indian Head-Milestone

Elaine Weimer

1-855-281-0657

ro14@elections.sk.ca

Saskatoon Meewasin

Ivy Hubble

1-855-249-7300

ro47@elections.sk.ca

Kelvington-Wadena

Annette Dube

1-855-842-5355

ro15@elections.sk.ca

Saskatoon Northwest

Darlene Britton

1-855-879-8004

ro48@elections.sk.ca

Kindersley

Dorothy Arthurs

1-855-281-0658

ro16@elections.sk.ca

Saskatoon Nutana

Michael Fisher

1-855-842-5354

ro49@elections.sk.ca

Last Mountain-Touchwood

Bentley Hilderman

1-855-879-8010

ro17@elections.sk.ca

Saskatoon Riversdale

Angela Yaganiski

1-855-879-8006

ro50@elections.sk.ca

Lloydminster

Josephine Taylor

1-855-827-5792

ro18@elections.sk.ca

Saskatoon Silver Springs

Jane Garry

1-855-249-7301

ro51@elections.sk.ca

Martensville

Joan Steckler

1-855-281-0659

ro19@elections.sk.ca

Saskatoon Southeast

Loretta Metzger

1-855-780-3876

ro52@elections.sk.ca

Meadow Lake

Margaret Alger

1-855-281-0660

ro20@elections.sk.ca

Saskatoon Sutherland

Cecilia Jean Boensch

1-855-780-3877

ro53@elections.sk.ca

Melfort

Larry Zemlak

1-855-827-5793

ro21@elections.sk.ca

Swift Current

Beryl Robinson

1-855-249-7302

ro54@elections.sk.ca

Melville-Saltcoats

Kathy Adams

1-855-879-8011

ro22@elections.sk.ca

The Battlefords

Gail Morgan

1-855-780-3878

ro55@elections.sk.ca

Moose Jaw North

Marylynn Smith

1-855-827-5790

ro23@elections.sk.ca

Thunder Creek

Lynne Saas

1-855-842-5346

ro56@elections.sk.ca

Moose Jaw Wakamow

Gilles Doiron

1-855-827-5794

ro24@elections.sk.ca

Weyburn-Big Muddy

Michael Harder

1-855-281-0651

ro57@elections.sk.ca

Moosomin

Jeannette Hunter

1-855-249-7305

ro25@elections.sk.ca

Wood River

Barb Ermel

1-855-879-8007

ro58@elections.sk.ca

Prince Albert Carlton

Barry Swanson

1-855-827-5795

ro26@elections.sk.ca

Yorkton

Carol Krochak

1-855-879-8005

ro59@elections.sk.ca

Prince Albert Northcote

Jeff Fisher

1-855-827-5796

ro27@elections.sk.ca

Regina Coronation Park

Roger Sydorko

1-855-879-8012

ro28@elections.sk.ca

ReTuRning office HouRs of oPeRaTion:

Regina Dewdney

Ruth Taylor

1-855-842-5347

ro29@elections.sk.ca

Regina Douglas Park

Gerry Hodges

1-855-842-5348

ro30@elections.sk.ca

MONDAY TO FRIDAY 9:00 a.m. TO 7:00 p.m. C.S.T. AND SATuRDAY 12 noon TO 6:00 p.m. c.s.t.

Regina Elphinstone-Centre

Lisa Workman

1-855-780-3881

ro31@elections.sk.ca

Regina Lakeview

Margo Soriano

1-855-827-5797

ro32@elections.sk.ca

Regina Northeast

Deborah Ann Stevens

1-855-827-5798

ro33@elections.sk.ca

Regina Qu’Appelle Valley

Tanya Lunnin

1-855-842-5350

ro34@elections.sk.ca

name

TOLL-fRee #

emaiL

On November 7, show up and vote. Encourage your friends to vote too. If you know of anyone who is unable to read or is visually impaired, please make them aware of the content of this message.

a MEssaGE FroM ElEctions sasKatcHEWan 1-877-958-8683 tty 1-855-281-4491 ElEctions.sK.ca ELECT-0018B_newsprint_9.875x210.indd 1

11-10-06 10:40 AM

16• Arts

thesheaf.com/arts • the Sheaf • October 20, 2011

DC’s New 52: heroic success or crashing failure?

Only time (and cash flow) will tell KATLYNN BALDERSTONE In case you have missed it these past few months, DC Comics has rebooted their comic franchises, introducing the “New 52.” This means new and retold stories of characters, new continuities, new readers and — perhaps the biggest motivation — new income.

I’m on the fence about this whole issue, especially since I haven’t read all the new comics. But as a casual DC fan, I would say they are doing a lot of things well. I loved the first issue of Animal Man, thinking it to be a creepier but still excellent take on superhero stories. Static Shock wasn’t my cup of tea, but I know other people enjoyed it.

I really liked Justice League International and Demon Knights — the latter because it was a fun medieval fantasy with several references to immortal or magical characters in the DC main universe, the former for being a fun team comic that just so happened to have Rocket Red, one of my favorite characters from the original JLI series.

I have heard great things about Aquaman that make me want to pick up the book, and while there has been controversy over Batgirl and the idea of taking the formerly disabled Barbara Gordon out of her wheelchair and back into her Batgirl role, the writing was good enough to keep me interested. No matter the complaints, know that DC has done at least a few things right.

But there have been complaints, and justified ones at that. Batman has four different titles when those spots could have been used to bring back more characters. The Superman books get a pass, in my opinion, since the Man of Steel himself only gets two, and the other books go to his supporting characters.

I mourn the loss of Secret Six and Power Girl,

DOUGLAS SCHMEISER

Signing A Settling of Accounts

UPCOMING EVENTS

Saturday, October 22, 1:00 PM

DR. LOUIS HORLICK, DR. STEVEN GOLUBOFF AND PATRICIA PAVEY

Saskatoon Launch Kol Kore Ba Midbar, A Voice Calling in the Wilderness

run October 20, 11.indd 1

Monday, October 24, 7:30 PM

10/12/11 8:55:33 AM

Jim Lee’s exceptional artwork for the New 52 relaunch of the Justice League.

although I know writer Gail Simone is pushing to bring the Six back, and Power Girl’s alter ego is still around in Mister Terrific.

Unfortunately, there is also a problem with the continuity of this new DC universe.

DC claims that some events from previous incarnations still happened, causing some comics to ignore that this is a relaunch and reference previous story developments before the 52 launch that new readers would be confused about.

I was interested in Hawk and Dove, only to give it a pass as soon as I heard that Rob Liefeld was drawing it. They have removed Ted Kord from continuity by making Jamie Reyes the

only Blue Beetle. Keeping his powers secret from his family this time may affect the quality of his supporting cast. And I have to sigh and shake my head at how female characters get turned into fan-service material in books like Red Hood and the Outlaws and Catwoman.

But in the grand scheme of things, the DC relaunch is just that — a relaunch. A marketing attempt that we have yet to see whether or not will really impact things, although it has managed to revive a few important issues regarding the industry.

What’s important now is that no matter how you feel about the comics available, or how characters are portrayed, or how many female

supplied

versus male creators there are at the moment, you support the stories that you want to see more of. My recommendations are right there in the second and third paragraphs of this article, but if there are others you want to see succeed or improved, you need to vote with your wallets.

After all, this “New 52” is more than a marketing scheme. It’s a chance for comic fans to have the kinds of stories that they want to read — but only if the message gets across loud and clear.

Melding graphic novel and soundtrack Canadian DJ’s Space Cadet is thoughtful and moving KATLYNN BALDERSTONE

You might not know about Kid Koala, but you probably know some of the things he has worked on. The Canadian DJ has contributed to the scores of Shaun of the Dead and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, composed for the Cartoon Network and released three albums of his own, the last of which was Your Mom’s Favorite DJ back in 2006.

Koala’s latest project, coming out Oct. 25, is the graphic novel Space Cadet. The book tells the story of a young space cadet and her robotic

guardian, and what each of them go through when the cadet takes on a solo mission to the far reaches of space.

What makes this simple tale stand out is the soundtrack that Kid Koala has accompanying the book: all-new songs meant to be listened to as you read through the story. Each song title has the page number that begins the associated section of the comic, and there’s a table of contents at the beginning as well — although, confusingly, it gave different page numbers than the song titles did. Go by the table of contents in order to avoid confusion, and this problem is easily avoided.

Regarding the graphic novel itself, Space Cadet is simple but effective. The scratchboards used for each image provide a great visual style, and there’s enough visual creativity to keep your attention and get across the quiet mood of the story. Throughout the comic we see the past both characters have shared, contrasted with their solitude and loneliness when the cadet travels off to space. The story and relationship these two have is conveyed strongly even without dialogue, and will keep you engrossed for the length of the novel.

The soundtrack does its part as well, with 15 tracks that carry you through the length of the book, and it supports the story very well. The opening tracks “Goodbye” and “Remembrance” set the tone with almost haunting piano refrains, instrumental accompaniment such as strings and marimba and electronic effects that complement

the sci-fi of the comic.

It’s the type of music you can listen to either on its own or with the story, but together the two aspects create a moving experience that will leave you contemplating your own travels and what you may have left behind on them.

If there had to be one flaw in this project, though, it would have to be the pacing. For the most part, the soundtrack and graphic novel work well together, allowing you to read at a comfortable pace as you take in each image and how it adds to the story, but on reaching the segment accompanied by the song “Expedition” it supplied becomes more of a rush to read through a large number of pages in a short amount of time before the next song begins.

It may not be a big problem for fast readers, but for others it can be enough to pull you out of the story. It’s understandable that songs cannot always be perfectly timed to book pages, especially taking different reading speeds into account, but the change of pace is more jarring than one may like.

Despite this pacing issue, Space Cadet in both graphic novel and soundtrack form is recommended to anyone who enjoys science fiction, comics and music, or simply wants a half hour to rest from life’s hassles and reflect on what’s really important. It’s not a happy story, but in the end it gives a sense of hope and reminds you how important it is to not forget about the people who helped you reach that important state of independence.

Arts

October 20, 2011 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/arts

•17

The Walking Dead returns in solid form Season Two of AMC’s zombie epic is still tense, visceral entertainment AREN BERGSTROM Arts Editor

The Center for Disease Control is gone, hope is elusive and zombies are still everywhere.

AMC’s zombie hit The Walking Dead returned on Oct. 16 to an ecstatic 7.3 million viewers and Season Two starts just where Season One left off. The band of survivors headed by Sheriff’s Deputy Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln) is still there, although their numbers are thinned out from the final episodes of last season, hoping against hope that things can get better and they find some vestige of safety. Their plan is to leave Atlanta and head for Fort Benning, about 120 miles away.

In their ragtag caravan of vehicles they make it onto a highway jammed with broken down cars. Their path is blocked and just as they begin to weave their way through the junk heap, Dale’s (Jeffrey DeMunn) RV blows its carburetor. And because nothing is ever easy for the characters in this show, a herd of zombies appears on the road just as the band stops to fix the RV. The Walking Dead is a show that thrives off the minute-tominute tension of the situation its characters exist within. Zombies are everywhere, society no longer exists and there is literally no hope for these characters.

It’s a one-of-a-kind television horror series and its setup works spectacularly. The gore is effective.

One scene in which Rick and Daryl (Norman Reedus) dig through a zombie’s stomach to see what it recently ate is disgusting and horrible in all the right ways. The thrills are genuine. The band of survivors hiding underneath cars, muffling their breath in order not to attract attention plays better than anything most horror movies can muster.

The band of survivors reel after an attack by a zombie herd on a blocked highway.

It also delves into the reality of this overwhelming situation.

Surviving a zombie apocalypse would probably look similar to how The Walking Dead depicts it. This is a hopeless situation and the show really gets across its grim message.

Every time the characters try to take control of things, their plans go awry, leaving them in a worse situation than before. Unfortunately, this realism makes the show’s plot develop too slowly and does not carry over into the character drama.

Some of the characters seem to be toeing the line between archetype and cliché. This is partially due to the writing and partially due to the acting. The dialogue can be a little too on-the-nose, which does reflect

Robert Kirkman’s writing in the comic books, but in order to sell this kind of dialogue, actors need to be intense and dedicated. Andrew Lincoln as Rick and Jon Bernthal as Shane are the best at this. Their lines may not be subtle, but their performances sell them.

The horror and the atmosphere of The Walking Dead will always be its main selling point, but the characters need to evolve into individuals. They need to stop being defined purely on how they react to situations. Simply put, they need to be compelling apart from the situation they exist within.

Rick, Shane and perhaps Andrea are the only ones who can boast this so far.

However, all of these nitpicks are

things the show has to develop over time and not just in one episode. And this was a thrilling episode. There are plenty of tense scenes aside from the herd scene. A confrontation in a church with a zombie bride (it had to happen) and Rick dispatching two zombies in the forest were standouts.

As well, the end of the episode was shocking and for those familiar with the comic books, it spells out a good direction the show will take in the near future.

What needs to happen in this second season aside from storytelling consistency is an expansion of the characters. They need to be given a sliver of hope and see the situation as more than just their present circumstances. If

supplied

this happens, their actions will be more than just reactions. As well, if the writers set up hope, they can promptly knock it down again, causing the characters to morally disintegrate.

Because once our heroes start inching toward becoming villains, that’s when things will get really interesting.

The Walking Dead plays at 7:00 p.m. on Sundays on AMC.

Into the sun a step down David Myles’s latest does not represent his potential MATTHEW STEFANSON Production Manager

As a fan of Canadian music, and of independent artists, I always make a point of revisiting old favourites.

With David Myles, I was a steadfast fan from the start. Over his career, he has released a series of steadilyimproving albums that all represented his talents and style well. This is why I found his most recent album so disappointing.

Into the Sun is a prolonged repetition of horn, guitar and vocals that blend the tracks together. The album is a progression of his previous works. As a songwriter, he is dealing with growing old and this is reflected in songs like “Time To Be A Man,” in which he opines on his past mistakes as a young man and his future. The album is well thought out, but it lacks energy.

This may seem like an unfair

critique, considering Myles’s toneddown style. However, while his previous albums were certainly not up-tempo, they did feel more complex. There was a humour to his work that seems to have fallen by the wayside on Into the Sun. While songs like “Simple Pleasures (Classified Mix)” and “Leaving” revive the album with some much needed verve, the record as a whole feels lacklustre. The time between the high quality tracks feels like a waiting game, the musical equivalent of twiddling one’s thumbs.

Considering all of this, the album is still an enjoyable experience. Even in his less-than-stellar moments, Myles

manages to bring the listener in with smooth vocals complimented by his well-constructed instrumentation. It’s important to stress that the quality of his music as a whole remains well above the median, but he has created great expectations with his former work and at first listen this album doesn’t meet this standard.

Into the Sun, while not his best effort, is a solid album that doesn’t fully showcase supplied Myles’s notable talents.

The album is still worth the money spent, but new listeners should explore his back catalogue before shelling out the cash for this one.

LEGISLATIVE PAGES The Legislative Assembly of Saskatchewan requires energetic individuals to work part-time as Pages in the Assembly. This is a unique opportunity to observe the daily workings of our Legislature.

Pages will be employed in the Legislative Chamber to assist the Speaker, Members of the Legislative Assembly and the Clerks-at-the-Table in carrying out their respective duties. Pages deliver documents and messages both in the Chamber and elsewhere in the Legislative Building. Pages will also be employed in the Office of the Clerk to assist in the preparation of the Assembly for its daily sitting. This will include performing a variety of general office duties, such as distributing documents, running errands, mailing, filing, receiving telephone messages and photocopying.

The term of the employment will extend over both the 2011 fall and 2012 spring sittings of the Assembly. The hours of employment will be Monday to Wednesday, 1:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. and Thursdays from 8:00 a.m. until 1:30 p.m. Additional hours of employment between 9:00 a.m. and 12:00 p.m. Monday to Wednesday will be assigned on a rotational basis. Some overtime may be required each week, particularly when the Assembly is sitting on Monday and Tuesday evenings from 6:45 p.m. – 10:30 p.m. Pages will be paid at a rate of $16.50/ hour.

Applicants must have graduated from high school or be enrolled in a post-secondary program. An interest in the parliamentary system of government would be an asset. Pages must exhibit initiative, sound judgment and reliability as well as possess excellent interpersonal skills, be comfortable dealing with a variety of individuals and be at ease performing in a team setting. The employees of the Legislative Assembly provide non-partisan service to all Members of the Legislative Assembly.

Tentative start date will be December, 2011. Original, fax or electronic resumes with references must be received no later than 5:00 p.m. on Thursday, November 10, 2011. If possible, electronic resumes should be submitted in a word format.

Sandra Gardner Administrative and Chamber Services Coordinator Office of the Clerk Legislative Assembly of Saskatchewan 239 Legislative Building, Regina, Saskatchewan S4S 0B3 E-Mail: sgardner@legassembly.sk.ca Phone: (306) 787-0603 Fax: (306) 787-0408

18• Comics

thesheaf.com• the Sheaf • October 20, 2011 Across

1- Pillar 5- Wimp 9- Actress Anouk 14- “The Time Machine” race 15- Actor Estrada 16- Stylish 17- Denomination 18- New Orleans is The Big _ 19- Feudal estate 20- Capital of Estonia 22- Divert 23- Facial expression used by Elvis Presley 24- Surmise 28- Crimson 34- Deficient in pigmentation 38- Coal scuttle 39- Consumer 40- Post 41- Christian festival 43- Don of talk radio

44- Russian fighter 47- Thespians 48- Magical incantation 51- Olds model 52- Extent 57- Israeli desert 61- Lee side 63- _ there yet?

64- Monogram ltr.

66- Work like _ 67- Type of sanctum 68- The sacred scriptures of Hinduism 69- Travel on 70- Get to know 71- Farm females 72- 24 hour periods

Down

1- Nuisances 2- New York city 3- Plinth 4- Name

5- “Pure Guava” band 6- Pertaining to a rare element 7- Bro’s counterpart 8- What’s up 9- Capital of Eritrea 10- Muslim elder and prayer-leader 11- Hindu lawgiver 12- Archer of myth 13- French 101 verb 21- One of Chekhov’s “Three Sisters” 25- Slangy denial 26- To and _ 27- Make beloved 29- Usual 30- Finely powdered earth 31- Analogy words 32- Not e’en once 33- Blows it 34- Capital city of Western Samoa

35- Leg or arm 36- Make indistinct 37- Ingrid’s “Casablanca” role 42- Without _ in the world 45- Chemical ending 46- Needlefish 49- Bat abode 50- Fireball 53- Give merit 54- Gymnast Comaneci 55- Sleazy 56- Borders 57- Arrest 58- Fish-eating eagle 59- Actress Rowlands 60- Large jug or pitcher 62- Greek letters 64- “_ had it!”

65- Fresh

(CUP) — Puzzles provided by BestCrosswords.com. Used with permission

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Misc

October 20, 2011 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com

CAMPUS CHAT

•19

What is the weirdest halloween costume you have ever seen?

“Juice box.”

“Angler fish.”

“Pikachu.”

“Mammogram booth.”

Kat Matlock

Landon Squires

Melissa Bishop

Regan Brownbridge

Fake News of the Week “Waiting for things” more harmful than cigarettes

A landmark study by Camel cigarettes finds that waiting in lines “basically takes more time off your life than smoking.”

Jimmy Smooth, a lobbyist for Camel said, “A cigarette takes about seven minutes off your life.

If you smoke half a pack a day, that’s 84 minutes. But that’s nothing compared to the hours we waste at stoplights, in line-ups or watching progress bars.”

The study also found smoking to be more pleasurable than waiting.

Smooth hopes the study will “remove the stigma of smoking, while exposing deadly wait times.”

Unfortunately, Smooth was unable to be reached for a follow-up interview, having been hospitalized for lung cancer. According to Camel’s medical expert, Dr. Jeremy

Spin, “We can treat cancer. But surgery wait-times: that’s a real epidemic.”

Boy loses virginity

Little Tommy Franklin underwent a significant change this week.

The 8-year-old baseball player from Ridgemont Middle School misplaced his virginity on his way to school.

“I didn’t even notice until I got home,” said Tommy. “Gee, sure seems like something a guy would notice.”

Tommy has been hanging up flyers and knocking on doors for the past two days, looking for anything that may lead him to his wayward virtue. Tommy says that it was most likely lost “between the intersection where he meets his friend Mark on the way to school and old man Connors’ confectionary, where he purchased a haypenny’s worth of string sugar.

“Mark’s my best friend, and he would have told me if I had dropped it around him,” said Tommy.

Tommy says that he’s hoping to find his errant virginity before his mother returns from her business trip on Tuesday. “She’s gonna be awful mad. Last time this happened we found it hiding under the Jensons’ porch,” said Tommy. “Poor thing was all wet and looked real scared.”

Not everyone was surprised about the disappearance, however.

“I’d check Busdriver Phil’s basement,” said Tommy’s principal.

“He fucks little kids.”

World’s richest man wins lottery

Buck Shaftington, the world’s richest man, won the PowerBall jackpot of $124 million last Tuesday.

Shaftington says he heard the news whilst sipping champagne on his yacht.

“It made me chuckle. Lord knows

if there’s someone who doesn’t need the money, it’s me,” he recalled with a shit-eating grin on his face.

When asked where his winnings would go, Shaftington exclaimed, “Anywhere but charity. I’d rather wipe my ass with the money.

Actually, I’m might just start doing that.”

NYU Philosophy professor Dick Wiener says the event supports existentialist claims that “it’s a cruel, meaningless world. An evil rich guy hits the jackpot, while a good guy like me gets the name Dick Wiener.”

Last night, however, eyewitnesses reported a drunken Shaftington weeping, “I’m the richest man in the world. And yet I remain lonely, impotent and deathly allergic to peanuts.”

Pope gives up

Pope Benedict XVI announced Tuesday that he is withdrawing from the business of salvation and forgiveness.

In a statement released by the

Vatican, His Holiness explained that he was tired of trying to save a planet that was so dedicated to its own damnation.

“If all you God damned people want to do is fuck and kill each other, fine! Have fun. I’m going to be over here working on getting into heaven,” exclaimed the Pope to a crowd gathered in Saint Peter’s Square. “Where the hell did you people even learn this shit? Some of the stuff I’ve seen just makes me sick!”

His Holiness’s top aides attribute the sudden change of heart to the recent aquisition of a Vatican computer. “His Holiness may have stumbled upon some... less than sacred parts of the Internet,” said Cardinal James Griffith. “He really liked the hungover owls, and started getting really into The Sartorialist, but after Urban Dictionary it kind of spiralled out of control.”

He added, “I probably shouldn’t have forwarded him a link to meatspin.com.”

20•

thesheaf.com/advertise• the Sheaf • October 20, 2011