The Sheaf 19/01/12 - Volume 103 Issue 20

January 19, 2012

volume 103 • issue 20 • thesheaf.com

Sheaf the

National

Ottawa changes student loan regulations.

Page 3

Scams

Environment Hockey Biofilm could help clean oil sands waste water.

Page 4

Film

ATM fees prey on low-income populations.

Documentary explores death penalty.

Page 7

Men’s team tops Canada West standings.

Gaming

Page 15

Independent game Limbo reinvigorates platform genre.

Page 9

Page 16

The University of Saskatchewan student newspaper since 1912

360

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Student journalists

Nights in Victoria

W

hat happens when a highly contagious virus sweeps through a conference of student journalists?

TANNARA YELLAND Senior News Editor “Did you eat the slaw? How about you, how much coleslaw did you eat?”

This is how the 74th annual Canadian University Press national conference’s bizarre outbreak of norovirus began.

Norovirus, previously named Norwalk, is a highly contagious illness that usually causes violent illness for one or two days, including vomiting, diarrhea and stomach pain.

CUP, a national organization that offers a newswire for campus newspapers as well as a number of other services, hosts a conference each year that brings together about 350 student writers from across Canada. The four ensuing days are filled with workshops

about the craft of journalism, engaging keynote speakers who tell stories about bleeding on George Clooney’s couch and, most importantly, evenings full of copious amounts of liquor and attempted promiscuity.

It was the drinking and sex the night promised that were most jeopardized by the whispers of disease. As we stood in the lobby of the Victoria, B.C. hotel hosting the conference waiting to be bussed to the conference gala, the formal event on the last night of the conference, CUP National Bureau Chief Emma Godmere called for our attention and said there were reports of delegates falling ill and vomiting both at the gala and, more immediately disturbing to us, on the buses we were about to board.

At the time, no one knew

exactly what was happening.

Godmere’s only information was that as far as she knew, there was no cause to think it was food-related. This was heartening, as almost all of the delegates had been eating the same food for the last four days.

This was also why conference co-ordinator Jason Schreurs’ quiet questions about the coleslaw were so unnerving. What if it was food poisoning? Were any of us immune? Was this conference about to become a re-enactment of the pie-eating contest scene in Stand By Me?

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Outbreak

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Norovirus cont. on

Third Integrated Plan Town Hall The integrated plan describes the university-wide strategies we will follow over the next four years to advance our academic priorities.

Join Brett Fairbairn, Provost and Vice-President Academic, for a presentation on the draft of the Third Integrated Plan followed by a Q&A session.

January 24, noon–1pm Convocation Hall This event will also be streamed live at www.usask.ca/plan

The draft of the Third Integrated Plan is now available at www.usask.ca/plan

Prestigious Curious Adventurous Ingenious Ambitious Studious

2• News ARNOLD JAMES ISBISTER Signing Stirbugs & Screws

UPCOMING EVENTS

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Saturday, January 21, 2:00 PM

TRAVEL CUTS AND G ADVENTURES Travel Presentation Costa Rica

Wednesday, January 25, 7:30 PM

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thesheaf.com/news • the sheaf •January 19, 2012

Space team working on satellite In competition with 10 other schools, USST looking for cash ERIK LABINE The year was 2010 at the second annual Japan Space Elevator Technology and Engineering Competition. The University of Saskatchewan Space Design Team had sent a team of people there to compete. Their goal? To build and operate a robotic “climber” that can climb up and then back down 300 metres of cable faster than any other team.

It was no small task, to say the least, and the first attempt ended with the climber crashing back to Earth. But thanks to the ingenuity of the team, they got it repaired and won the competition; their final speed was four times faster than the next team, at a cool 57 kilometres an hour.

The Space Design Team, or USST, is now hard at work on their next project, a satellite, which work began on in September 2010.

This build is more advanced than the last one, as it will be orbiting more than 700 kilometres from the Earth’s surface if they succeed. The contest is the Canadian Satellite Design Challenge, sponsored

by Vancouver's Geocentrix Technologies.

Eleven universities from across Canada are competing, including the U of S. The team that comes up with the best satellite design will have it launched into orbit by Geocentrix in autumn 2012. What exactly the satellite will do varies from team to team, but the U of S entry will measure variations in

in brief Voyeurism strikes York bathrooms

Toronto Police have begun an investigation into a case of voyeurism at York University after three women saw a man hiding in women’s washrooms in the Curtis Lecture Halls late last week.

All three sightings occurred on the same day, and the man was seen either looking into a woman’s stall or flashing a cell phone into it.

York had previously bought 600 closed-circuit cameras and set them up across the campus. Officials were able to use these to capture an image of the man. That image has been publicized in the hope of capturing him.

CERC choice disappoints teachers’ group The Canadian Association of University Teachers reacted angrily to the newly-appointed co-chair of the Canada Excellence Research Chair program selection board. Stephen Harper’s federal government named Shirley Tilghman, president of Princeton University, to the post, drawing criticism from CAUT. “While the President of Princeton University is undoubtedly a distinguished

A satellite designed by U of S students could be in orbit later this year a layer of the atmosphere called the ionosphere, which is used in radio communication. This is currently done through the use of GPS satellites, but the USST is confident their satellite will actually outperform the current multimillion dollar, military-grade GPS satellites.

For the USST, the design process is basically complete. All that is left to do is pass a “critical design review” coming up in February, when four USST members travel to Ottawa to give a presentation before a panel of experts in the field to make sure the design is spaceworthy. Once that is done, there is just one obstacle remaining before it can be built and possibly launched.

As you might expect, the problem is money. As it turns out, it costs a

academic... there is no shortage of Canadian university presidents and other distinguished academics at Canadian universities who could more appropriately have filled the role” as co-chair for the Canadian program, said a letter signed by CAUT President Wayne Peters and Executive Director James Turk.

CAUT made it clear that they had no concerns about Tilghman’s ability, but were only concerned with having the Canadian program co-chair serving as the head of an American university.

Tilghman was raised in Winnipeg and attained her B.Sc. in chemistry from Queens University.

She remains a Canadian citizen.

Quebec students to hold another rally against planned tuition fee increase

After a 13-year tuition freeze, Quebec is set to allow postsecondary fees to rise, prompting ongoing protests across the province.

The provincial government has approved a $325-per-year hike for the next five years, which will take average tuition from $2,168 to $3,793 in 2017. This is set to go into effect in fall of 2012.

fair bit to build a fully functioning satellite, to the tune of $200,000.

For the USST, that means a lot of fundraising.

Mason Scott, the USST's Financial Director, says recruiting will be important now. The “commerce” wing of the USST is looking for another five to 10 members (not just commerce students either) willing to spend a few hours a week raising the cash.

According to Scott, they are looking for spirited people who can spend at least five to seven hours a week contacting companies who may wish to make donations.

Meetings are nightly, but volunteers are not obliged to attend each one.

He described it as a unique chance to take part in a first for the U of S,

About 30,000 students congregated and marched through downtown Montreal during a day of action in November. There is another protest day planned for March 22. The Fédération étudiante universitaire du Québec — which represents roughly 125,000 students — will meet later this month to discuss the possibility of organizing a strike.

Official re-opening of Marquis Hall food centre

After two summers of renovations, Marquis Hall Culinary Centre officially opened Dec. 21.

According to the President’s report set to be tabled at University Council Jan. 26, “This renovation allows the opportunity to attract the best” chefs working in the culinary field.

Currently, there are eight red seal chefs on staff and with the improved facilities the opportunity to invite high-profile guest chefs to campus is more readily available.

Culinary Services, formerly Food Services, serves on average 2,000 meals per weekday.

“The enhancements to Marquis Hall allows Culinary Services to provide first-rate service to our resident students, our non-resident students and the entire university community,” the report read.

NASA

going on to say that what the USST is doing now on a small budget is what NASA was doing with millions back in the 1960s.

“Success is difficult, but definitely achievable,” Scott said.

To Scott and the rest of the USST team, the future is looking bright.

A for-credit course is in the works at the university that would allow students to learn about satellite design, which could help grow the team.

Currently, there are only seven astronomy courses offered by the College of Arts and Science, despite the fact that the U of S campus plays host to industry heavyweight SED Systems.

In Scott’s words, “This could be the start of aerospace at the U of S.”

Panel on women in politics

The student group Women in the Legislature, or WiL, will hold a panel discussion at Louis’ Pub next week to discuss the role of women in politics.

Panelists will be Loleen Berdahl, professor with the political studies department; Jennifer Campeau, Saskatchewan Party MLA for Saskatoon Fairview; and Judy Junor, former NDP MLA for Saskatoon Eastview.

WiL is a non-partisan, studentrun initiative to educate students on women’s underrepresentation in legislatures across the country and inspire more women to become politically active.

Shira Fenyes, one of the executive coordinators of the group, says it’s important to bring attention to women’s underrepresentation in politics because, “in doing so, we can emphasize the value of women engaged and connected to the political process.”

The panel discussion is open to all students on campus and takes place from 5 to 7 p.m. on Jan. 25.

In March, up to 20 female undergraduates will travel to the provincial legislature in Regina to speak with female politicians and learn more about the opportunities available to aspiring politicians.

News

January 19, 2012 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/news

•3

Part-time students get a break on interest payments Student loans still nearing $15-billion debt ceiling ARSHY MANN CUP Western Bureau Chief VANCOUVER (CUP) — Part-time students will now be treated like their full-time counterparts when it comes to student loans.

In December, the federal government announced that people with part-time student loans will no longer accrue interest on their loans until after their studies have been completed, bringing the program in line with the full-time loan program.

“Economic recovery continues to be our top priority,” said Diane Finley, Minister of Human Resources and Skills Development, in a press release. “We’re helping Canadians gain the skills and education required to participate in today’s workforce and contribute to Canada’s overall economic prosperity.”

Active students with parttime loans will still have to pay any interest accumulated before Jan. 1, 2012, but won’t accrue any further interest until they’ve either completed their studies or stopped attending a post-secondary institution.

A spokesperson for Human Resources and Skills Development Canada (HRSDC) stated in an

1

Norovirus cont. from

The Vancouver Island Health Authority, which began an investigation almost immediately, has since concluded that the outbreak was not related to food. Norovirus is highly contagious, such that being in the presence of a sick person (or the vomit thereof, as on the buses) is enough to infect someone. Aside from some hotel staff, none of the other guests at the hotel have been reported ill, which corroborates that assessment.

Knowing nothing but expecting that the rumours of puke had been greatly exaggerated, we rushed onto the bus. Even the unmistakable smell of vomit could not dissuade us in our conviction that there was nothing especially amiss.

After all, if one person throws up — perhaps from drinking too much, a not-uncommon occurrence when student journalists gather — would it not make sense that others on the same bus would do the same upon seeing and smelling the spectacle?

It would make perfect sense. The evening was going to be fine! What’s one puke-y bus, in the greater scheme of things?

The ride to the gala is where my own confidence in the evening began to falter. I felt ill, but I couldn’t tell if it was because I was genuinely unwell or if I was experiencing sympathetic symptoms. Mustering my courage, I tried to drink the beer I had smuggled onto the bus.

By the time we got to the venue, the driver had been instructed to turn around, as the gala was cancelled.

email to Canadian University Press that the change was prompted by a desire to achieve parity between the part-time and full-time student loan programs, as well as to help boost the economy.

“The Government of Canada recognizes the vital role that post-secondary graduates play on the road to this country’s economic recovery. That’s why the Government of Canada continues to focus on helping more students reach their education goals.”

The spokesperson went on to write that this change is in line with previous changes to student loans made by the government earlier this year, including increasing earnings exemptions for people with full-time student loans, allowing part-time students with higher family incomes to qualify for loans and forgiving portions of loans for new physicians and nurses who choose to work in rural or remote communities.

The NDP’s critic for postsecondary education, Rathika Sitsabaiesan, isn’t impressed by the announcement.

“There aren’t a lot of actual parttime students, so it’s not actually affecting a lot of students,” said the Scarborough–Rouge River MP. She said that instead of

broadening access to student loans, the government needs to shift towards easing the debt burden on students.

“Instead of burdening students and their families, which are usually working families using all of their life savings towards educating their children, [the government should] provide grants rather than loans,” she said.

Sitsabaiesan pointed to the fact that total Canadian student debt is close to surpassing the $15-billion ceiling set by the Canadian Student Financial Assistance Act. “In the act, it was set that $15 billion dollars was the ceiling that could ever be reached for amount of [student] debt that ... could be outstanding at any given time.”

According to a government commissioned actuarial report on the Canada Student Loans Program released in July 2010, the $15-billion ceiling will likely be breached in early 2013.

If that occurs, the government would either have to find ways to reduce student debt or else amend the legislation in order to increase the ceiling. Back in 2000, the Liberal government pushed up the ceiling from $5 billion to $10 billion.

Sitsabaiesan said that the best

We stopped and saw delegates come out of the building, hoping to board the bus. Clever and plucky even in the face of a possible catastrophe, people on the bus began hollering at them: “You’re infected! We have to leave you behind!” “We’ll tell your stories!”

By the time I realized I would not be disembarking the bus for the foreseeable future, my condition had deteriorated. I spent the last 15 minutes of the ride back to the hotel clutching one of the vomit bags that had been passed out at the start of the ride, breathing heavily and wishing the bus could somehow get to the hotel without actually, you know, moving.

At the hotel, I lasted about five minutes before I was violently emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet (luckily, I suppose) and beginning an eight-hour cycle of vomiting violently every half hour.

In the interim I felt well enough that each new bout of nausea was an unpleasant shock.

As fellow sufferer and Sheaf sports editor Kevin Menz described it: “Wash, rinse, repeat.”

I have since learned that while throwing up food is unpleasant, it is entirely preferable to throwing up the nothing that is left after three or four trips to the toilet.

Both journalists and students are, as a rule, quite connected to the Internet. Because of this, the sick and bed-ridden, including myself, were able to follow what was happening and learn the latest news as it became available. People fell like so many flies as the night wore on, letting Twitter know their condition for posterity. They came up with clever hashtags like #apukealypse

and #barfipelago — a take on the conference’s theme, “Archipelago” — to pass the time.

By Sunday morning, newspapers and radio stations around Canada began calling and emailing students at the conference to ask what was happening. The alarming uptick in tweets about barfing and shitting must have tipped some media bigwigs off.

The news spread across the country and became one of the bigger stories of the day. One can only surmise that it was a slow day elsewhere in the world, or that journalists were desperate not to cover the Golden Globes that night.

Tallies of the sick fluctuated and information changed hour to hour; for a while it sounded like we were under a semi-official quarantine, while eventually we heard that the few healthy delegates were being urged to leave as soon as possible.

As conference attendees make their way back to whatever part of the country they came from and regain their health, this is unlikely to be a news item with any permanence.

But hopefully the next time all the students who have decided to spend their lives covering the news are sent to track down a scoop, they will remember what it was like to have been on the other end of the story, however briefly.

From the stress of being interviewed between bouts of throwing up to the way even those in the thick of an event might be unaware of the truth, the experiences of this outbreak can serve as important reminders in how to approach the people involved in breaking news. It is certainly a lesson I won’t soon forget.

“

There’s no stability. So post-secondary institutions are turning to create their own sense of stability by continuing to increase tuition fees by the max amount each year.

Rathika Sitsabaiesan NDP MP

way for the federal government to ease the debt burden on students would be to create a dedicated post-secondary transfer fund similar to the Canada Health Transfer. Presently, funding for post-secondary education is included in the broader Canada Social Transfer.

Because provincial governments have discretion over how the money from the Canada Social Transfer is spent, the amount that goes to post-secondary education can vary from year to year.

“There’s no stability. So [postsecondary institutions] are turning to create their own sense of stability by continuing to increase tuition fees by the max amount each year.”

In June, Sitsabaiesan presented a private member’s bill proposing the creation of a dedicated postsecondary transfer, but it has not passed first reading.

Without structural changes at the federal level for how postsecondary education is financed, Sitsabaiesan believes student debt will continue to grow unabated.

“Having more loans available is not really going to make education more accessible,” she said.

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4• News

thesheaf.com/news • the Sheaf • January 19, 2012

University of Calgary professors develop method to help clean tailings pond water

The weekly news meeting takes place every Wednesday 2:30-3:30 p.m.

Lab-grown biofilm offers improved water reclamation TANNARA YELLAND Senior News Editor

Come by if you want help with reporting, interviewing, editing or anything else related to news writing.

Or just come by to chat. We are a lonely duo. news@thesheaf.com Susanne Golby

Biofilm on these glass balls helps clean heavy metals from tailings water. organisms that were part of the community he was studying.

It was important to the group that they work with biofilm as opposed to the individual organisms that comprise it because many other groups are already working with isolated organisms, Turner explained. Studying a single organism, or even a family of organisms, prevents the resulting research from taking full advantage of biofilm’s ability to degrade dangerous elements in tailings water. The organisms work together in nature for a reason.

Since the project proved successful at creating whole biofilm in a lab, they have worked on making it more metalresistant and metal-absorbent, testing it by growing it in various conditions — with and without oxygen, and with different amounts of fertilizer.

The different conditions are important because tailings ponds are not uniform.

From company to company and even pond to pond, the water can have markedly different levels of alkalinity and acidity, as well as different organic compounds.

“The biofilms we have are incredible

hardy,” Turner said. “They are able to accumulate lots of metal.”

Turner likened the biofilm’s function to the ballrooms many fast-food restaurants have for children: the biofilm is grown on small ball-bearings, and dirty water flows through them. As it passes, metals that are in the water stick to the biofilm-laden balls.

Once the biofilm is removed from the balls, it can be run through a smelter to extract the metals, many of which are precious. This makes Turner’s work beneficial not only environmentally, but also economically.

Turner and Ceri have almost concluded their work on this project, but that is simply the first step. They have struck up a partnership with two engineers at the University of Alberta who will soon begin testing the biofilm in a water treatment facility to see how it works in practice.

Gravity is a social construct!

What started in 2009 as a side project with low expectations has quickly yielded impressive results and garnered funding from the National Sciences and Engineering Research Council of Canada.

University of Calgary biochemistry professor Raymond Turner began working with Howard Ceri, a U of C biology professor, on creating a biofilm that would assist in the detoxification and reclamation of some tailings pond water left over after oil sands excavation.

Tailings ponds are large reserves of water runoff that contain toxins and heavy metals. The water in the “ponds,” which are sometimes as large as small lakes, is unsafe for plants and animals to come into contact with.

Turner is not working on providing an instant “solution to the tailings ponds,” as he worries some coverage has painted it. He and his team have grown a biofilm that will assist in the reclamation process of tailings water. The water is taken out of the ponds and treated before being reintroduced into the water cycle.

The problem with this water is that while it has settled into different layers of sediment, there are still many metals and compounds present that make it unsafe.

“We gave the project six months to see if it would work,” Turner said, laughing.

“I never thought it would work in a lab....

Where we are now is where we thought we would be in five years.”

Turner and Ceri teamed up to use their respective specializations — Turner has been studying metal-resistant bacteria for 14 years, while Ceri has focused on biofilms — to create a biofilm that would absorb the heavy metals in tailings water without being degraded by them.

Biofilm is a group of microbes working in concert. They occur frequently in nature; tooth plaque is an example.

Turner was initially skeptical of the entire project because it was unknown when they began if they would even be able to create biofilm in a lab setting, but Turner said he was “actually able to grow a fairly good percentage of the community” he was dealing with, growing between 400 and 500 of the 900-odd

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Opinions •5

January 19, 2012 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/opinions

Mood disorders and the creative mind Complaining Does mental illness lead to creative insights?

MICHAEL CUTHBERTSON Opinions Editor Aristotle once said that “no great genius ever existed without some touch of madness.” People are rarely surprised when they hear an artist took copious amounts of drugs or committed suicide. And when it happens, the media loves to mythologize that artist as “a misunderstood genius.” As a result, we end up thinking that creativity and mental illness are inevitably linked.

Perusing my bookshelf and music collection, I do see overwhelming evidence that artists are more susceptible to mood disorders. But are their illnesses making them creative, or are mood and creativity not causally linked; or could mood disorders actually stifle creativity?

According to psychiatrist Arnold Ludwig, “There is no question that people in the creative arts have higher incidences of depression, mania, alcoholism, drug use, schizophrenic breaks and so forth.” In his book The Price of Greatness, Ludwig argues that creative professions focused on rational thinking and social interaction — like architecture — see very low incidence of mental illness. Meanwhile the creative fields focused on more abstract expression — like visual art — see very high incidence of illness.

Ludwig breaks his continuum down even further, saying that among writers the highest prevalence of mental illness is found in poets, then fiction writers, while non-fiction writers — such as editors and columnists — show the lowest rates of mental illness.

Psychologist James C. Kaufman, director of the Research Learning Center at San Bernardino, echoes Ludwig’s view in what Kaufman calls the “Sylvia Plath Effect,” which claims that female poets are more likely to suffer from mental illness than any other group of distinguished women, such as politicians, actresses or other kinds of artists.

But while psychologists can circlejerk and align their sketchy findings all day, a better way to figure out the role of mood is to consider what the creative world would be like without mental illness.

I question if an artist like John Lennon could have written such beautiful songs had he not struggled with depression. I think he might have been more prolific, and certainly led a happier social life. But I don’t see how his writing could possibly carry the same emotional weight if he hadn’t been burdened by heavy emotions.

Dr. Nancy Andreasen of the University of Iowa also acknowledges the creative insights of mental illness. She says, “Psychotic individuals often display a capacity to see the world in a novel and original way, literally, to see things that others cannot. Might not the cognitive traits possessed by people with psychosis have something in common with those possessed by creative people, who also can sometimes see things that others cannot?”

For example, when a person with bipolar disorder is in a hypomanic state, they can experience accelerated thought processes, a flight of ideas and increased self-esteem, all of which seem capable of opening the mind to new creative possibilities.

It’s tempting then to cite this disorder as fueling creativity, but many artists with bipolar disorder — and there are many — often say otherwise.

On an episode of CBC Radio’s The Current, children’s author Robert Munsch

about the weather: our provincial pastime Keir Matthews-Hunter

Raisa Pezderic/Photo Editor

Creative genius or bridge-screaming lunatic? said he thinks there is a link between him being bipolar and highly creative but clarified, “When [mental illness] is really active you don’t do anything. It kills you.”

Perhaps mood swings can only be utilized creatively when they come in small doses. Research shows that people are most creative when they are in a positive mood, and therefore, the negative states of mental illness only lower creative productivity.

Strange as it sounds, I believe both views are correct: that mood disorders lead to creative insights, but that they also drain the energy needed for creativity.

I believe it’s precisely this ability to turn negative emotions into something positive that draws me to emotionally troubled musicians like Townes Van Zandt, because in addition to his fine musicianship, I’m touched by the genuine hardship his art is borne out of. I believe depressed artists express truths that happy-go-lucky artists never can; their minds simply cannot tune into these heavier realities.

Perhaps it’s this need to express hardship that leads so many mentally ill people to become highly creative. And as far as I can tell, the art world is the only place that can make use of their problems. Art, unlike anything else, takes eccentric, often antisocial behavior and turns it into something beautiful and inspiring.

Furthermore, mood disorders can prepare someone for the artistic process. Art is largely about confronting uncomfortable emotions — which people with mood disorders are constantly doing. And if art is about removing oneself from the fixedness

of reality, then a person who experiences two polar realities might also be more acclimatized to this process.

But if mental illness does encourage creative insight, then afflicted artists may face a dilemma: should they take mood stabilizing medication if it lowers their creativity?

In a recent British Journal of Psychiatry study, Dr. Simon Kyaga admitted, “We often encounter the suggestion that lithium [treatment] reduces creativity in patients with bipolar disorder and that adherence therefore is difficult.” He adds that his research is looking for treatments that “minimize the adverse effects that medication can have on positive aspects of psychiatric disorders.”

So far psychologists can’t prove mental illness has a causal effect on creativity. And I’m not convinced either. In researching this topic, I came across a comment on a blog post about mental illness and creativity that perfectly encapsulates my own views: “I’ve seen very few songwriters in my life who composed a great song because they were perfectly balanced. Mediocre songs yes, great songs no. It’s problem solving most of the time. I don’t think it is possible to be creative if one has no problem to solve.”

When it comes down to Saskatchewan winters, there really is no pleasing us prairie folk.

According to the annual Weather Outlook released in November by The Weather Network, we were expected to experience “below normal” temperatures in Saskatoon this winter — although up until the heavy snowfall we received last weekend, we have felt nothing but wondrously warm temperatures.

Typically, you’ll hear complaints about the brutality of our winters — particularly in the months of January and February — and the inability to move our fingers and toes. Rarely will you hear something positive aside from the gorgeous snowfall that might take place once every three to four weeks.

However, with the record high temperatures that we’ve seen this winter, our complaints have shifted drastically.

For those who genuinely love winter, many complained about the lack of snow we received. Others often raised the frightening topic of global warming, and how this winter has been a result of it.

Although this may be the case, not everyone saw reason to complain.

Some people, like myself, embraced the warm weather we experienced.

Being a skateboarder, this is the very first January I’ve seen where it was dry enough to skate a parking lot — and warm enough to forego the coat and just wear a sweater.

On the downside, the warm weather made things we might enjoy, such as ice fishing or snowboarding, essentially impossible to do. At the same time, it has been a bit too cold on the hands and feet to do much more than go for walks or runs without outfitting in heavy winter gear.

And while I had improbable hopes of cruising through winter without getting stuck in snow, I think most of us knew from the beginning that it was too good to be true; and it was. Now that Old Man Winter has brought the snow and cold temperatures, those who were complaining finally got the numb feet and rosy cheeks they were wishing for.

The question to ask now is how long will it last?

The immediate forecast shows a strong increase in temperatures which would result in some serious snow melting, and I like to keep my pride in believing that it’s true, but we all know that the long range forecast has a tendency to be as unpredictable as our Friday nights.

Either way, it has been a beautiful winter, so I have no need to complain.

Those who wanted the snow for whatever reasons, now have it. As much as we love, hate, compliment or complain about Old Man Winter, his qualities will remain uncertain.

Although it’s apparent that I’m not exactly a fan of him, I don’t dislike everything about the guy — I just won’t accept his friend request.

6• Opinions

thesheaf.com/opinions • the Sheaf • January 19, 2012

Feeding your libido Aphrodisiacs may be a myth, but food can still help your sex life The Sheaf will hire for next year’s staff in March.

Until then, you should build up your portfolio by contributing lots and lots.

Or, you know, you could just contribute for fun.

You greedy fucks! thesheaf.com/contribute

Nothing gets a man to propose like a chicken with a lemon up its butt.

Sarah Beauchamp/Flickr

Sarah Vannier The Brunswickan (University of New Brunswick) FREDERICTON (CUP) — Remember the episode of Seinfeld in which George tries to mix two of his great loves, food and sex? It all starts innocently enough with a vanilla-scented candle, but by the end of the show his partner catches him chowing down on a pastrami sandwich mid-foreplay.

George probably took things a step too far, but he’s not the first person to combine food and sex.

Open up an issue of Cosmo or Men’s Health and you will be sure to find a list of foods that will feed your libido. But do these so-called aphrodisiacs actually work?

Some of these foods, like bananas and figs, are considered aphrodisiacs because they kind of look like sexual organs. This is supposed to get us turned on, although I’m skeptical about how well this really works. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never heard anyone say, “That banana was delicious, but you know what I could really go for now? A penis.”

Other aphrodisiacs supposedly work by changing our body chemistry. Chocolate, for example, is thought to increase the levels of certain chemicals in our brains that make us feel happy and excited.

Unfortunately, chocolate may not hold the key to getting your sexual motor going.

Andrea Salonia, an Italian researcher, compared the sexual satisfaction and sexual arousal of women who ate chocolate daily and women who did not. Salonia found the difference between the two groups was negligible once you factored in age and other variables within his sample of 163 women; thus, the aphrodisiac effects of chocolate may be more myth than reality.

So if feeding your partner piles of bananas and chocolate won’t get

In Praise of Sardines/Flickr

Figs are supposed to be sexy, I guess. you any action, what will?

Have you tried cooking? Cooking is sexy. Being able to cook implies that you can take care of yourself and can, at least on occasion, take care of your partner.

There is a recipe floating around online for something called “Engagement Chicken.” Apparently women should make this roast chicken for a partner when they want them to propose. The idea is that the recipe is delicious comfort food — something that a good wife would make.

Although a world in which I need to roast a chicken in hopes of someone marrying me sounds like my personal hell (holy gender roles, Batman!) food does play an important role in sex and

relationships. Taking the time to cook suggests that you enjoy the little things in life and you are willing to put time and effort into something pleasurable. Those are definitely the qualities I appreciate in the bedroom.

Want to brush up on your cooking skills? Maybe you could try taking cooking classes in your spare time. And bring your partner along.

So enjoy cooking your way to a better love life! Just remember to go easy on the pastrami.

Opinions

January 19, 2012 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/opinions

•7

ATM fees are discriminatory Service fees disproportionately affect low-income population Shaimaa El-Ghazaly The Concordian (Concordia University) MONTREAL (CUP) — If you’re as careful with your money as I am, you will choose to walk some distance to find your own bank’s ATM in order to avoid being charged fees just to access your own funds.

However, there are days when the weather is horrible, or you don’t have time, or there are just no ATMs from your bank within walking distance. That’s when you’ll find yourself staring at the ATM, annoyed with the fees. These fees are unfair because they disproportionately hurt low-income individuals like students.

ATM fees come in different forms.

When you use an ATM of a bank that is not yours, you are charged convenience fees. The amount can go up to $2 per transaction. When you use an ATM that belongs to a private operator, the convenience fees can go up to $5 per transaction.

Then, your bank charges you service fees that can go up to $1.50.

Some people say it is not much, and that might be true for transactions of $100 or more. But for the average student, charges up to $6.50 on a $20 withdrawal just to get some food are a pain.

The fact that banks make as much profit off of small transactions as large transactions hardly seems reasonable. Service fees, including those charged at ATMs, made up six per cent of Canadian banks’ profits in 2010. It is a large sum considering that the net income of the six largest Canadian banks was $14.3 billion in

2009. Sure, eliminating ATM fees might reduce their profits, but it is a tiny amount compared to how much money big banks make. Bank profits increased at all of Canada's major banks by an average of 29 per cent in 2010 (compared to 2009); surely they can afford to give people a break at the ATM. “If people want to avoid paying those fees, they should use their own bank’s ATM machines,” said Adrian Rotaru, a CIBC customer service representative.

The issue with that type of thinking is that it doesn’t take the elderly and the disabled into consideration. That type of reasoning puts them at a disadvantage due to possible limitations of how far they could travel in order to get money.

It does not take into account the fact that sometimes your bank's ATMs are not available.

Most banks have student and senior plans without monthly banking charges. Therefore, banks should do the same concerning ATM fees.

As for private operators, whose main goal is to make profit, there should be some government intervention to limit the amount of money they can charge. It is understandable that private operators install these machines in order to make money, but to make a 25 per cent profit on a $20 transaction is exploitation.

If more people were to voice their discontent, perhaps something could be done. It might not make a huge difference for banks to eliminate those fees, but every dollar would definitely matter to students.

Sean Kershaw/The Concordian

Everything at university is overpriced Balancing higher learning and low earnings Ashley Hyshka I went into my first term of university in September of 2011 with over $5,000 in my savings account. This was a pretty healthy sum, I thought. Well, try telling that to my currently draining bank accounts.

Am I taking a student loan? Oh, hell no! Was I smart enough to win a scholarship for my tuition?

Not as long as I’m an arts and science student.

So my only option is to pay tuition in cash. Currently I have enough money for the 2012 winter term, and a bit for the start of my second year, but either way, I am royally fucked right about now.

And tuition isn’t the only way the university sneaks its greedy little hands into my — and your — personal chequing and savings accounts. Besides almost having a heart attack when I handed over a $2,600 cheque to the school last September, I think I speak

for all 18,000 or more University of Saskatchewan students when I say that not only is our tuition ridiculously expensive. I feel as if I’m learning the exact same crap I did last year in high school, except add on another $400 to the bill per class. The price of our textbooks also seem to kick us in the ass.

When I hear of people taking education or engineering, I know that their annual tuition is much more than that of an arts and science student. Really, we’re all being gouged left, right and centre by ridiculous university costs, and by certain courses that we only take because we need them to graduate. We don't even want to take them; we're forced to!

Now, I’m a first year. What the hell do I know? I ask myself that all the time, but I know that three first-year anthropology and classical mythology books should not run $220 on my Visa.

Later, when I sell them back to

the university, I will only get a fraction of what I originally paid for the book. If a prof decides not to use those books next term, you once again get kicked in the ass.

That's why I am in drama — a $5 fee for photocopying and no textbooks.

And then there’s food. A $2.36 Tim Horton’s iced cap here, a $2.25 bottle of ginger ale there, a burger and fries from A&W, and the cash quickly gets yanked out of our wallets. I certainly don’t want to pay five dollars for a small tray of sushi but I have little choice. The university just expects that if I am hungry on campus and want a quick bite I must succumb to their overpriced crap.

When thousands of students are doing this day after day, for years on end, the profits for “campus confectionery” eventually add up, but not for the students.

Sure, paying for things like university infrastructure, public transit and even the Sheaf are

“

U of S, we’re not asking you to give us everything for free; we’re just asking you to lower the dayto-day costs of campus life.

understandable. After all, I don’t want my psychology lecture hall collapsing on me at 8:30 a.m. when I’m barely awake yet. But the rest of it sucks.

U of S, we’re not asking you to give us everything for free — although that would be unbelievably amazing — we’re just asking you to lower the dayto-day costs of campus life.

I'm going for a third job just so I can afford next year’s tuition.

The last thing I want to do is go into the world with a degree in my hand and tens of thousands of dollars in debt.

8• Opinions

thesheaf.com/opinions • the Sheaf • January 19, 2012

Rest easy: don't self-diagnose insomnia We love to claim we have disorders, but chances are, we're fine Séamus Smyth The Weal (Southern Alberta Institute of Technology) CALGARY (CUP) — Generation Y — the Facebook generation, the deeply indebted generation and the spoiled-rotten generation — loves to assume the worst. Students who can’t remain focused on a task for 10 minutes immediately jump to the conclusion that they suffer from attention deficit disorder. Those who prefer keeping their room tidy instead of roaming around in a boar’s nest of clothing and dishes say it’s due to an undiagnosed case of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Students’ latest self-diagnosis regards their inability to fall asleep.

No, no, it couldn’t be an easy-toremedy issue — it must be the most extreme case of sleep deprivation: insomnia. No matter how many herds of sheep these poor zombies count, they just can’t manage to fall victim to the Sandman.

But is this really an unsolvable conundrum that most students can’t fix on their own? According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine website, the following can lead to major sleeping issues: a lack of exercise, too much caffeine, heavy smoking and using the television or computer before going to bed.

In other words, pounding back six venti cinnamon dolce lattes during your regular school schedule and then firing off 15 text messages just before you attempt to doze off might not be the most soporific course to take. Same goes for smoking enough tar to repair an

“I could fall asleep right now, if it weren’t for this Teen Mom marathon.” entire highway or beginning a Lost marathon at 11 p.m. on a school night. And when was the last time you broke a sweat that wasn’t stress related? Giving the body a brisk workout can help the great sleep predicament.

Although I am no sleep expert, I personally sleep every night like a three-year-old boy after a big day at the beach. So my advice would be to turn off all technological devices. Submit your attention to a good old-fashioned book. Allow

Arne Coomans/Flickr

your imagination to put in some last-minute work. Without channelflipping, dialling, texting or sexting, your body can prepare for a few hours of doing absolutely nothing.

If you can’t refrain from your coffee or cigarette fix, at least try to

schedule the gorging a few hours before bed time.

Hopefully this helps you finally get up on the right side of the bed and allows you to be thankful for being relatively disorder-free.

you by giving the search monster what it craves.

Buy your name as a domain.

Aside from being a great selfpromotion tactic, URLs are high up on Google’s search algorithm, meaning your personal website is going to show up at the top of the results.

Load that domain up with professional information — the more pages, the better.

Google also loves links, so help it out. Fill your website with links to your LinkedIn, your Twitter, your program’s homepage, your

projects and clippings, your sanitized, work-version Facebook profile. Anything.

Then link those back to your website. Google will pick up your linkcest and push those pages higher up on your results, putting you back in control.

My search results still aren’t perfect, despite these tactics. A little digging finds the high school newspaper that I ran. Not exactly my finest journalistic work.

Which brings me to my final tip: keep your passwords. My eleventh-grade musings will live forever because I’ve forgotten my login info.

Although I suppose it could be worse. No one’s found my teenage MySpace pictures, right?

When you know it will find you Escaping the ever-watchful gaze of Google Lauren Strapagiel The Eyeopener (Ryerson University) TORONTO (CUP) — Sometimes I envy all the Lisa Smiths and Mark Williamses of the world.

Your dull and generic names protect you from the all-seeing eye of Google.

To an employer, a search of your name may just prove an exercise in tedium as millions of your generically-named brethren are displayed. Your cookie cutter names shelter your awkward drunk Twitter updates and DeviantArt page of “artistic” macro photography.

I’m not that lucky.

I am the only Lauren Strapagiel in the world. There aren’t many Strapagiels out there, and most of them have Polish first names with more consonants than I’m capable of pronouncing. Having a unique name and associated history is great and all, but it also leaves me with the burden of keeping my online presence squeaky clean.

Google my name and you only get me. And speaking as someone who learned to build websites at

an early age and possibly once had a thing for fan fiction — don’t judge me — that’s a damn dangerous thing.

I've learned some tricks for keeping my online entity clean; for my fellow uniquely-named users, these may prove invaluable.

First, if you are going to engage in unprofessional internet activities, do not attach your name to anything.

Ever. As a tween, I once built a website that included a collection of pixel dolls (remember those?) and a special section professing my love for my favourite band, AFI. That mess of angst and sparkling gifs still exists, but you’ll never find it. My real name isn’t on it anywhere.

This applies to your email too. Don’t use your fancy,

“professional” Gmail account to sign up for those Harry Potter/Twilight crossover forums. You will be found.

Second, make Google work for

Sports •9

January 19, 2012 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/sports

Huskies take bite out of Bears sports in brief Dogs secure first place in Canada West

file photo by Pete Yee

Barrett came within two points of his own record Saturday.

Huskies created trouble for U of A netminder Kurtis Mucha, who was eventually pulled.

MAX CRANSTON The University of Saskatchewan Huskies men’s hockey team won a pair of pivotal games Jan. 13 and 14 against the visiting Alberta Golden Bears.

The games were both played at Credit Union Centre with an estimated attendance of 1,800 fans each game — one of the highest Canada West conference totals this year. Both teams were locked at the top of the Canada West standings with duplicate 13-3 records.

By the end of the weekend, the Dogs walked away in sole possession of top spot in the Canada West.

On Jan. 13, the Dogs prevailed 5-2 after jumping off to an early two-goal lead in the first period.

Strong play throughout the second period that led to a power play goal by the Huskies Shaun Vey would put Saskatchewan up 3-0.

The Golden Bears made it close, however, after scoring two goals to finish the second frame including one with only 5.8 seconds left.

Huskies Brennan Bosch and Derek Hulak’s markers in the third sent the Huskies to the locker room with the win.

Dogs goaltender David Reekie

sealed the victory by stopping 35 of the Bears’ 37 shots. Alberta netminder Real Cyr stopped 18 of 22.

The matchup on Jan. 14 saw the Huskies down 3-1 going into the second period. A hat-trick from captain Kyle Ross and a total of four unanswered goals in the second period, however, secured the win for Saskatchewan.

Ryan Holfeld stopped 33 of the 37 shots for the Huskies while Alberta goaltender Kurtis Mucha was pulled after letting in five goals on 24 shots.

Cyr stopped all three shots he faced in relief of Mucha.

This was their first sweep of the Golden Bears since 2007 and it propelled them two games ahead of their Alberta rivals.

Saskatchewan now sits atop the conference with a 15-3-2 record while Alberta is 13-5-2.

The Huskies also have the top three scorers in the Canada West: Derek Hulak has seven goals and 28 assists for 35 points, Kyle Bortis has 14 goals and 19 assists for 33 points and Kyle Ross has 14 goals and 12 assists for 26 points.

Hulak, who has more assists than most players in the conference have points, scored in both games on the weekend. He is used to playing at

Pete Yee

CUC because he played with the Blades from 2006 to 2010.

“It was nice playing in front of a big crowd. It’s a great barn, a great facility to play in,” said Hulak.

He believes that “hard work and depth” has led to the Huskies success so far this year.

Captain Kyle Ross attributes the success to “patience and consistency.”

Ross is in his fifth year with the Huskies but said he’s not worried about the lack of leadership for the coming seasons.

There’s “a whole lot of great guys and a whole ton of leadership. There won’t be any problems down the road,” said Ross.

When asked about the Dogs’ upcoming matchups, Ross explained, “There’s a lot of parity in the league, and they’ll all be pretty tough — especially the next couple weekends which will determine the playoff picture.”

The next Huskies games are on the road Jan. 20 and 21 against the Manitoba Bisons. The Bisons are third in the conference.

Women’s hockey splits with Pandas

A third period goal from Danny Stone was all the Huskies needed to take the first game of the weekend series against the Alberta Pandas Jan. 14 in Edmonton.

Stone’s goal propelled the Dogs to a 1-0 win, as Saskatchewan goaltender Vanessa Frederick was perfect, stopping 33 shots for the shutout.

The next night, unfortunately for the Dogs, would be the first time Alberta would get the best of them this season.

Forced into overtime after a 2-2 deadlock, the Pandas’ Sarah Hilworth buried the winner and gave Alberta the 3-2 win.

Saskatchewan moved to a 134-1 record but still sits alone at the top of the Canada West standings.

Barrett scores 40 in Dogs win

After being upset 83-79 Jan. 13, the Huskies men’s basketball squad came out strong the following night to down the Calgary Dinos 90-83 at Jack Simpson Gym in Calgary.

Specifically, Jamelle Barrett came out strong. Barrett put up 40 points, 30 of which came in the

second half, to lead the Dogs to victory.

The performance was only two points short of his career-high 42 scored last year against the Trinity Western Spartans.

The win pushed the Huskies to a 7-4 record on the season and into third spot in the Canada West.

Women’s basketball sweeps Dinos

A big weekend from Kabree Howard and Katie Miyazaki allowed the visiting Huskies to sweep the Calgary Dinos 78-72 and 80-72 in two games last weekend.

Howard, a second-year point guard, averaged over 30 minutes in each game and put up 24 points on the weekend including five three-pointers. Her eight points in the second quarter of Jan. 14’s game switched momentum into the Huskies’ favour and allowed them to never look back.

Miyazaki, meanwhile, tore up the stat sheet for Saskatchewan.

She had 40 points, 21 rebounds, 12 assists and six steals on the weekend.

After the wins, the Dogs moved to third in the conference with a 7-4 record.

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10• sports

thesheaf.com/sports• the Sheaf • January 19, 2012

Would we miss hockey fights?

As the nation ponders the point of fights, university sport has already cut them out

rgmcfadden/Flickr

by KAAN ERASLAN The Ubyssey (University of British Columbia) VANCOUVER (CUP) — “I almost died from depression, suicide, drugs and alcohol from the depression of violence. I’m living proof that living a violent lifestyle can kill you.”

When asked about the effects that fighting has in hockey, that is what former NHL enforcer Jim Thomson said. You might remember Thomson as the recent victim of the boisterous Don Cherry, who on Hockey Night in Canada called Thomson a “puke” and “ingrate” for advocating his desire to ban fighting from hockey.

So far this year Derek Boogaard, Wade Belak and Rick Rypien — three former NHL players known for their penchant for dropping the gloves — died from suicide or substance abuse. It is believed all three suffered from depression.

While the last 12 months have provided more than enough tragedy, the narrative on fighting in professional hockey is still ongoing, with no foreseeable end in sight. Yet one place where the narrative has found a conclusion is at the Canadian Interuniversity Sport level. To the chagrin of purists, but to the delight of advocates such as Thomson, fighting is not permitted in CIS hockey.

The question is, should it be? As a fundamental component of both the junior and professional ranks, should players who have created a niche for themselves protecting their teammates, and one could argue, symbolically protecting the game, be allowed to bring their skill set to the university ranks? Are the rules in the CIS helping or hindering these players from joining the CIS, let alone allowing to them to excel in the CIS game?

Discrepancies in league regulations If ethics and morality are cast aside, the appeal of seeing a hockey fight is understandable. On its own, a fight may not be for everyone to watch. In a fast-paced game like hockey, there is already plenty of excitement to see with highly conditioned athletes competing in non-stop action.

However, there is something to be said about seeing two men put aside the game and the rules, squaring up and locking eyes, succumbing to the suppressed violence and chaos innate in human nature, and while the moment may be fleeting and ephemeral, the audience becomes viscerally enthralled, captivated by the image of competition at a primal level.

Irrespective of entertainment or excitement, there is a purpose to having enforcers in hockey. This mainly involves keeping the opposition from making dirty plays and retaliation. In CIS hockey, the current regulations on fighting prevents enforcers from doing what they do best.

Every year, there are only a few fights that break out in the CIS. Participants get an automatic game suspension. The player who instigated the fight gets suspended for two games.

This eliminates retaliation for dirty hits and leaves the punishment up to the game officials.

Michel Belanger, the CIS media and communications manager, explained that the reasons for the regulations are simple.

“To us, it’s pretty obvious — I mean, it is a university sport, it is a student sport. We think it’s a good rule

because you just don’t want fighting in university hockey,” he said. “I don’t think it would go really well with our institutions and the kind of message that you’re trying to send.”

Although Belanger was not quite clear on exactly what message university athletics want to send, he explained it was not simply a matter of sportsmanship. “It’s all about the value that you want to give and you want to represent when you have a student sport and university sport,” he said. “I don’t know if it’s about better sportsmanship — it’s more about the overall values of institutions like a university.”

These values are clearly not part of junior league hockey where teenagers as young as 16 are free to engage in fights. Some Western Hockey League players build up their reputations as enforcers at an early age. These players are put in an awkward position if they want to make a successful transition to university-level hockey. Although they can still be physical, they are stripped of one of their most distinguishing tools.

“I think it’s kind of sad when you see [fighting] with junior players at 16, 17 or 18 years old. They know that there are scouts in the stands and that people are watching and they want a little extra edge that will put them ahead of another player,” said Belanger.

UBC hockey player Matt Wray is an example of a junior league enforcer who had to make the transition to CIS hockey. As an Alberta Junior Hockey League player for Camrose, Wray

racked up over 250 penalty minutes.

“Early on in my career, I wasn’t expected [to fight] as much,” he said.

“Because I didn’t have an objection to [fighting], I started doing it more and more. When I was in Kamloops, I think I got into 21 fights in 40 games.”

Wray’s easygoing and jovial nature might be surprising for those who have seen his physical style of hockey, but there is no mistaking his belief that there is a place for fighting and enforcement in hockey.

“It eliminates a lot of stuff. There are instances where, on the ice, guys are being cheap or they injure a player or something, and there’s no real means to get back at them other than making them pay on the scoreboard,” he said.

Other than strictly enforcing good behaviour on the ice, Wray also noted a motivational factor that a violent scrap can bring. “A lot of the times in the juniors or pros, fighting is a good way to get the guys fired up. A lot of players respond really well to seeing a guy go out there and put it on the line for their team.”

Wray’s transition to CIS hockey was not without its difficulties. He explained there is a need to “pull back the reigns” and hold back from retaliating. As a winger, Wray has more than just his physicality to rely on, which is also an important factor in the transition. Before establishing himself as a fighter, he was a highenergy player, able to put points on the scoreboard.

Sports

January 19, 2012 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/sports

•11

The challenges of being an enforcer Jim Thomson believes CIS hockey is ahead of the NHL and junior level hockey when it comes to game regulations.

Thomson’s passion for getting rid of violence in hockey comes from a lifetime of negative experience as an enforcer for many teams including the L.A. Kings and Ottawa Senators. During the 1986-87 season, playing for the American Hockey League (AHL)’s Binghamton Whalers, Thomas racked up an astounding 360 penalty minutes in 57 games.

At first it may seem odd that a former enforcer would be calling out against the very aspects of the game that got him recognized, but it’s clear that the lifestyle took away more than it gave to him.

“Let’s face it: the night before a game, I would do drugs and drink just to kill the anxiety and the fear — so I became a drug addict and an

alcoholic in a major way, dealing with the depression and the fear of fighting,” he said.

Thomson has a unique perspective about the life of an enforcer. He recognizes that there are people in the sport who depend on their fighting abilities to make a living, but he also sees a necessity for that role to be removed in order for the sport to grow.

“I don’t want anybody to lose their job... but if you take the enforcer out of the NHL you remove 30 jobs. You’re going to replace it with better skill, which is a better product for the consumer,” said Thomson.

As for the enforcer’s role of keeping opposing players and dirty plays in check, Thomson believes that unnecessary. “There’s no easy way of saying it, but let the league be the sheriff, not guys’ fists.”

Skill vs. Brawn According to UBC’s head hockey coach Milan Dragicevic, there is a growing trend in CIS hockey that shows a decreasing need for enforcers in a league without fighting.

“The hits from behind are down and the stick penalties are down and that’s a credit to all the players who are coming up focusing more so on just playing hockey instead of stuff after hits or dirty hits.”

The reason behind the decreased penalties is hard to pinpoint. Though the absence of fighting may create a sense of self-policing amongst players, Wray believes it has more to do with the university culture manifesting itself into the game. “I think in the CIS there’s more respect between players,” he said.

“They respect [each other] — not only as hockey players, but what they’re aiming to do in their careers.

If they don’t go into hockey, then they’re pursuing education, so a guy isn’t going to go and run a player from behind as much.”

There’s no doubt that fighting can be a nerve-wracking situation.

Thomson’s struggles with anxiety and depression as an enforcer are well-documented. This type of pressure on a student athlete

could only seem unreasonable.

However, there are those who are psychologically undamaged by such physical confrontation.

Wray disagrees that anxiety and depression affect all enforcers. By his own experience, he doesn’t feel that he was forced into a fighting role and said he rarely experienced anxiety before games. “You hear about certain instances in [substance abuse], but they’re not really playing up the guys that didn’t do that,” said Wray. “There are a lot of guys who feel pressure to score goals and they’re not resorting to drugs and I think it’s kind of a scapegoat.”

While upfront about his own feelings on the matter, Wray acknowledged that in university there would be players who would not want to risk blows to the head.

He also agreed that unhealthy stress levels are a reality in the sport.

However, the correlation between these factors and drug use is not concrete.

The substance abuse struggles of NHL enforcers have been a highlight in sports news recently, but these cases have been few and there are many enforcers who do not suffer from these problems. Yes there have

Mike Hoff/ Flickr

Many pro hockey players face problems with addiction and depression. been incidents, and Thomson’s experiences are eye-opening, but they do not establish a rule to the matter of substance abuse.

Still, in a university setting where alcohol and drugs can easily be found, why even risk adding the pressure of fighting to student hockey players?

One reason could be for fan attendance. This factor could be the biggest reason why fighting in the NHL and junior hockey will not be banned any time soon. There is undoubtedly a fear of losing viewers if fighting gets cut from the game.

On its own, hockey is a beautiful game to watch. Fans are thrilled by the fast-paced action, exciting hits and highlight-reel goals. Many supporters of fighting in hockey have expressed that hockey viewers will drop with the absence of brawls. According to Thomson, the real outcome could be drastically different.

As a coach, Thomson has seen many parents shy away from allowing their kids to play hockey due to the violence involved.

“Hockey in the [United States] is out-viewed by darts, dog shows, bowling, poker, and the list goes on and on,” he said. “How do we know that the game won’t grow if we take the violence out? You’ve got the

biggest market in the States and it can’t get any momentum, and I say you take the damn violence out and you might get a whole bunch of new kids registering.”

If Thomson is looking for a place to test his theory, CIS hockey isn’t the best choice. Holding back from fights was not the only change that Wray had to get used to when he started playing hockey at UBC. “In the WHL, most places you go you get fans coming. In the CIS, it’s quite a drop off from what you’re used to in the juniors. Look at the stands and the majority of seats are empty. It’s a different experience,” he said.

However, Wray doesn’t attribute this drop in attendance to fighting.

Correlation does not equal causation.

There are plenty of reasons other than the absence of fighting for why the attendance rates at university games are low. University students are busy and a quick look at attendance for other sporting events around campus will reflect a general lack of interest as well. University teams don’t receive as much hype and marketing as junior hockey teams do in their respective cities.

If Olympic hockey games are any indication, the sport can survive just fine without fighting.

Whether or not enforcers can

survive is another story.

Fighting is still present in the junior and professional ranks, but it is increasingly becoming less of a priority to have a player excel at this skill. Like Thomson said, skill makes a better product. CIS hockey needs players with more skill than brawn.

There’s no doubt that it’s still a physical game, but a player’s fighting abilities are not appreciated.

If a university athlete is aspiring to reach the pro ranks, he will not be able to make it with the power of his fists. He cannot showcase this ability.

Good skills have to come first if an NHL career is going to be reached through CIS hockey. As it stands, the regulations in CIS hockey work fine. The game is still exciting to watch and there isn’t any feeling that something is missing.

Fighters may have to change their game for university, but considering that one dimensional fighters are less of a commodity in professional hockey, this change should benefit them. It forces them to practice their hockey skills more than their pugilistic abilities, which will perhaps give them a longer a career in the sport, and more importantly, a longer life to remember that career.

From the Prairies to Picasso

A public lecture and gift announcement by Dr. Frederick Mulder, BA’64 When. Monday, January 30, 2012 at 7:30 pm Where. Convocation Hall, College Building, 107 Administration Place Reception to follow Dr. Mulder, one of the world’s leading dealers in Picasso’s printmaking and U of S graduate, will be talking about his journey from the prairies to the world of Picasso and announcing a donation to the University of Saskatchewan.

Image: Pablo Picasso, Tête de Bouffon. Carnaval 1965; linocut on paper, 62 x 75 cm. (detail)

www.usask.ca

12• Sports

thesheaf.com/sports • the Sheaf • January 19, 2012

Katie Miyazaki guiding young team to playoffs Veteran guard says team improving with each game SHARAI SIEMENS As a two-time national champion with her former team, Katie Miyazaki is confident that the University of Saskatchewan Huskies, too, are capable of a national title.

Miyazaki joined the Dogs last year after playing three seasons with the Simon Fraser University Clan.

The Clan left Canadian Interuniversity Sport in 2010 to join the NCAA ranks. Miyazaki chose to stay in the CIS and play with Saskatchewan.

It is a decision that she does not look back on with regret.

“I am really happy with my decision to transfer here because of the great year I had last year and again this year,” said Miyazaki.

Over her years with SFU, Miyazaki played across every gym in the Canada West conference.

In that time she saw the different atmospheres and support each team received. It was here in Saskatoon where the community support and the coaching staff impressed her the most. And when it came time to choose a new team, the idea of playing with the Huskies trumped the prospect of playing at any other

school.

“This program takes pride in its work ethic and being tough and winning games because we are ‘grinders’ rather than [winning] purely on skill alone,” said Miyazaki.

“It’s a great thing to see when hard work and toughness can win you games.”

Last year with the Huskies, Miyazaki was not only honoured with her second CIS defensive player of the year award, she was also given a tournament all-star award for her performance in the CIS playoffs. In that tournament she helped lead the Huskies to their best-ever finish — a CIS silver medal.

That team, however, was very different from this year’s team — four starters, three of whom were also league or tournament all-stars, graduated from the team.

This year, the team is younger and Miyazaki takes on an even more prominent leadership role.

With Miyazaki playing on a team mainly made up of rookies, added pressure and expectations weigh more heavily on her.

“It provides me with the challenge of not just improving myself, but also helping the rest of the team get better

and improving their understanding of the game,” she said.

Miyazaki added that she sees improvement each day with the young team and that constant growth is what is needed late in the season.

She knows that continuous hard work and learning from their mistakes will help them leading into the playoffs.

“Our goal is to be at our peak at playoff time, so we need to remind ourselves that we need to keep improving and not be satisfied with our success so far,” said Miyazaki.

Miyazaki, who spent the summer representing Team Canada at the World University Games in Shenzhen, China, has played against the best players in the world.

While this experience will help the Huskies on the court, it is Miyazaki’s confidence in her teammates that is the key ingredient for the young Dogs team.

“I always think my team has a chance in playing and winning nationals.”

Katie Miyazaki against the Regina Rams

Pete Yee

Arts •13

January 19, 2012 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/arts

We the Artists

A collaborative student showcase of visual art, music and drama LAURA ALFORD Do you ever wonder, as you walk by, what’s going on in the practice rooms of the Education Building, the studios in the Murray Building or the classes in the John Mitchell Building? What are the fine arts majors doing in there?

The Gordon Snelgrove Gallery, Quance Theatre and Greystone Theatre performances exist to remedy some of that mystery. This year, a new initiative adds itself to the roster of events bringing student art to the community.

We the Artists, taking place Jan. 21, is a one-night celebration of the best student work in visual art, drama and music.

Organized by the student associations from each department, and featuring student submissions, it’s a new kind of event.

It’s a chance to sample work from different disciplines: think buffet.

Two stages for drama and music will be interspersed with visual art submissions.

Drama students are set to perform scenes and monologues, some of which have been adapted specifically for Saturday’s event.

Students in the department’s design program will also have their projects on display.

Musical highlights include vocalist Whitney Mather, Gerard Weber on saxophone

and Jaclyn Goetz’s solo piano. A jazz finale by the Jared Tehse Trio is slated to close the evening.

Between performances, the audience can take in submissions from visual art students.

In this way, the event is a survey of the best artwork being made at the University of Saskatchewan right now.

“We’re trying to bring some light to what we do,” said Adam Naismith, president of the Drama Students’ Association. “Many of the people in our departments are the future of the arts in Canada.”

Emma Anderson, president of the Visual Arts Students’ Union, agrees. “The only people that get to see our work are our classmates and our friends and our parents.

This is a great mass opportunity to show our work.”

Once the event places different art forms side by side, there is also the possibility of collaboration — of artists stepping into each other’s territory.

This time, think fusion cuisine: A liveaction painting by Tyson Atkins and Shaun De Rooy accompanied by improv jazz.

The event offers something to people both inside and outside the campus art community.

“Actors will probably be walking around in their costumes after their performances,” said Anderson. “You’re going to have an

opportunity to talk to people performing in this event or having art in this event.”

Also, performers can interact amongst themselves.

“On campus, arts, drama and music are kind of spread out as far as they can be from each other,” Anderson said. “Say, for example, I’m in visual arts. I’m very familiar with the visual arts people who come to our shows and receptions. The same thing happens with music and drama. They have their own crowds. This event brings all those crowds together, so I’m looking forward to some talk amongst the creative communities.”

Imagining a student initiative that brings different disciplines under the same roof, it’s hard to ignore the context in which We the Artists appears.

Naismith hatched the idea for this event as a response to last year’s town hall meetings over the state of the university’s Fine Arts and Humanities programs. Mitch Bonokoski (president of the Association of Student Musicians), Anderson from VASU and Toryn Adams quickly embraced the idea.

“One message that came out of the town hall meetings was the administration’s desire to see more interdisciplinary cooperation,” explained Bonokoski. “Together, we laid out a plan that features the creative work of our three departments’ finest artists.”

“Hopefully this will encourage people to see the Fine Arts as an essential part of our university community,” he said.

And if the yet-unbuilt Clarion Project is the elephant in the room, Anderson clarifies what kind of message this event can send.

“This is doing something now and putting energy in the right kind of streams,” she said.

“Students have more power than they realize and they’re capable of doing a lot.”

“It’s been really nice to see the amount of support we’ve been getting from the university and from our respective communities,” said Anderson, acknowledging the USSU, Art Placement and the Persephone Theatre.

It seems the event will be a largely unpredictable mix of its different components. For one night, a room in TCU Place will transform into an experimental artistic laboratory. Now I borrow metaphors from science class. Ah, interdisciplinary harmony!

We the Artists takes place Jan. 21 at TCU Place.

Graduate students Inhabit U of S gallery

Inhabit offers the public a chance to see artists at work.

Interactive exhibition at the Snelgrove Gallery EMMA ANDERSON “The concept of the show is that there is no show,” said Eileen Murray, one of the graduate students practicing painting and photography at the University of Saskatchewan. With words such as “Occupy” buzzing more than an old refrigerator, the exhibition’s title, Inhabit, brings a refreshing spin to the MFA group show.

In Inhabit, the Gordon Snelgrove Gallery’s space is transformed into the site of construction, with myriad mental and creative processes unfolding. From the static to the dynamic, from the gallery as graveyard to the gallery as growing, the graduate students will be treating the big white space as a come-andgo workplace viewers can visit multiple times, see the site evolve and have the opportunity to interact with artists at work.

In viewing works in progress, one gets a

Raisa Pezderic/Photo Editor

bit of insight into the many ways creativity is expressed.

“Work makes work. I've just got to do it and get it all out,” Donna Bilyk said with an energy that was matched only by the visual effect of her chipboard paintings.

Bilyk’s work uses a simplified aesthetic to speak about people, and more specifically, their stories. It’s an aesthetic that in a way mimics the way we receive others’ narratives, never able to actually relive them, only to attempt to fit the bits and pieces into the fabrics of our own lives.

Meanwhile, David Dyck takes the concept to a literal level, constructing an exercise in exploration and visualizing the gallery from both outside and inside that brings the concept of “inhabit” to the level of experience. The tools of the construction trade whirr and buzz as Dyck moves the place of the viewer within, inside a movable gallery wall. The intention behind all this displacement is to build a periscope capable of seeing above the ceiling of the gallery, into the spaces we rarely think on, into the in-betweens.

“Everyone has a story,” Bilyk said.

Raisa Pezderic/Photo Editor

Inhabit is at the Gordon Snelgrove Gallery until Feb. 3.

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14• Arts

thesheaf.com/arts• the Sheaf • January 19, 2012

Misterfire set their aim on Louis’ Local genre-blending band to release first album AREN BERGSTROM Not every upstart band in Saskatoon has an indie music bent and eyes CBC Radio 3 as its goal.

Sometimes bands are purely driven by their interest in the music, in the effect it has on an audience and in having a good time doing what they love.

This is the case with Misterfire, a genre-defying band with ska and funk elements who are releasing their debut album at Louis’ on Jan. 21. Refusing to pin themselves down musically and aim only for a niche audience, Misterfire’s hope for their album is just to spread the music and get their product to a larger audience.

“Our goal as a group when we started was just ‘I wanna make an album,’ ” said frontman Ben Fortosky, sitting down with the Sheaf last week. “And we’ve gotten there.

And I just want to see where it takes us.”

Misterfire was born in November of 2008 during Fortosky’s first term at the University of Saskatchewan.

“I came up with the idea to start a group that wasn’t strictly jazz just as I was going into university,” he said.

“I randomly ran into [keyboardist Cameron Baribeau] the first couple days of engineering and I was like, ‘Hey, I know you. You play trombone. I play trumpet. We should start a ska band.’ ” The band started out as a ska

Misterfire: not your average Saskatoon band. group inspired by local talent North of Shorty. However, due to the members’ diverse musical talents built up through past years in jazz bands and the Saskatoon Youth Orchestra, Misterfire branched out into different musical territory.

“Our first show was a house party.

We were just playing covers that we had all listened to. I liked how the show turned out,” Fortosky said.

“There was no really clear stage where we decided we wanted to keep doing stuff. We just kept getting more gigs and having fun with it.”

The band has gone through a few lineup changes over the years before settling in July 2011 on the current lineup of Fortosky, Baribeau, Jordan Welbourne on lead guitar, Emmett Fortosky on bass and Ethan McKibben on drums. Fortosky, Baribeau, Welbourne and McKibben are all U of S students, while Emmett Fortosky is still in high school.

“Because we all have a common background in jazz, I think we especially appeal to people who play music and are music students because we do do a lot of stuff that is kind of

Anne Baycroft

out there,” Fortosky said.

Their debut album, All Lit Up, being released Jan. 21 is a collection of the best original music they have produced over the past few years.

“There’s not really a complete central theme, per se, but we feel the title describes the music pretty well because the music is all relatively upbeat and guaranteed to get people dancing,” Fortosky said. “It’s what we like to do.”

Misterfire strive to have a high energy stage presence and transfer their energy to the audience. Thus,

like all their music and shows, All Lit Up is aimed at people who like dancing to upbeat music. It is also completely self-financed.

“Basically everything we’ve raised over our time together as a group has gone into that and we’re pretty proud of what we’ve been able to accomplish with all independent planning,” Fortosky said.

Fortosky hopes his band offers a different musical option to people who aren’t into the local indie or alternative music scenes.

“Our songs, they appeal to a wide audience because we don’t really have a fixed genre,” he said. “So putting the CD out there is definitely going to expand our fanbase quite a bit.”

But beyond expanding their fanbase, Fortosky says Misterfire’s biggest priority with All Lit Up is to deliver an enjoyable time to audiences.

“We like to party. We like to have a good time. And we like to make sure you have a good time when listening to us.”

Misterfire’s CD release show takes place at 8 p.m. on Jan. 21 at Louis’. The show also features the Young Benjamins and Between the Lines.

Two ’90s music giants reunite Feel-good stories of Coachella 2012 THILINA BANDARA

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At The Drive-In and Refused are reuniting this year, both restarting their glory at Coachella 2012.

Both bands broke up at the height of their success, shortly after releasing their respective masterpieces: At The Drive-In’s Relationship of Command (2000) and Refused’s The Shape of Punk to Come (1998). These are two incredible albums, among my favourites, and they set the bar very high for a reunion. Though neither band has confirmed any new material, the return of such quality musicians warrants those unfamiliar with the music to seek out these two albums from the late ’90s.

At The Drive-In disbanded in 2001, a year after releasing Relationship of Command. Named one of Spin magazine’s greatest albums from 1985 to 2005, it was the crescendo of everything punk and hardcore rock had been building to. It only takes a swift clobbering to the face by the opening track “Arcarsenal” to understand the pace at which the crunchy guitars and lyrical trips will tear through your senses.

Their most popular track, “One Armed Scissor,” is also their most accessible and was the one that drew me into this

band, introducing me to an album that encapsulates everything I love about rock. Considered post-hardcore — whatever that means — At The Drive-In sounds not unlike Rage Against the Machine, while adding a kind of psychedelic aggression that has yet to be replicated.

Relationship of Command has a deft balance of melody and pure cacophony within and between the tracks. It is a loud and relentlessly efficient album, lyrically obtuse yet deeply satisfying. Watch any video from their last festival performance at Sydney’s Big Day Out 2001 on YouTube, and you will see exactly what I mean. If you like loud, acidic punk rock, At The Drive-In is not to be missed.

On paper, Refused set themselves up to fail with their last album. Calling your album The Shape of Punk to Come and containing self-referential songs like “Refused Are Fucking Dead” and “The Refused Party Program” while adding electronic elements into punk-rock all take a special type of confidence. Luckily for them, the album is flawless.

It is a politically-charged work of anthemic screams and effectladen melodies that demand to be head-banged to. Their most recognized track, “New Noise,” is what I would describe as the

ultimate hype song. In the same vein as Blur’s venerable “Song 2,” it builds, drops and builds again, and even contains ambient crowd-noise to steep you in its tension. It’s the perfect song to set to a movie trailer or extreme sport segment, while having that endless replay value few songs can deliver.

Other standout tracks are “Liberation Frequency” and the aforementioned “Refused Are Fucking Dead.” This album is often recognized as a seminal piece of modern punk rock, and elements of their then-progressive sound can be found in the genre today. Go buy this album, then imagine a world without it, and cry.

Hopefully these bands’ reunions will inspire a new generation of musicians to capture the essence of the late ’90s post-hardcore scene and make it new. Though there have been a great number of bands since, nobody has seemed to really capture the pure energy these two bands — and specifically these albums — possess.

January 19, 2012 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/arts

arts

•15

Werner Herzog’s Into the Abyss A sombre, intricate look at capital punishment HELENA ROSALES

Fred Allen, the former captain of the Death House in Huntington, Texas, sat across from acclaimed filmmaker Werner Herzog during an interview, telling him that he had overseen over 125 executions in his time.

“We were doing about two per week,” Allen said heavily, “and that was getting tiresome.”

It’s hard enough to imagine a crime fit for capital punishment, or the state having a legal right to end a human life for such a crime, but to consider everyone else involved — not just the family, but the people that seem to fade into the background of the situation — is something unexpected.

In Into the Abyss, Herzog fearlessly explores these intricate and deeply personal experiences with the people closest to capital punishment.

He focuses the documentary on the 2001 triple-homicide of Sandra Stotler, Adam Stotler and Jeremy Richardson in Conroe, Texas. Taking his camera behind the yellow tape and into the video footage of the police investigation, he compels his viewers to experience both disgust and emotional trauma from watching the sombre details of the case.

Only moments later, Herzog asks his viewers to sit across the partition with the men who committed the crimes.

It’s a hard transition, but a powerful one.

Herzog interviews Michael James Perry, who was sentenced to death, and Jason Burkett, who was sentenced to life in prison for the triple homicides, 10 years before Herzog interviewed them.

Herzog tells Perry during the first few minutes of their conversation that he “didn’t have to like [Perry], but he respected [him] and [he] was a human being,” which seems to set the tone for the documentary, as many of his interviews seem also to indicate his aversion to capital punishment, most notably when he says that it seems somewhat “Old Testament.”

Herzog interviews everyone involved in the case, from the reverend moments before he is scheduled to be present at Perry’s execution to the families of the victim and the convicted to the former captain of the death house. But the strangest interview had to be with Burkett’s

Herzog’s film captures the complexity of a system that claims the right to put people to death. wife.

Her only contact with the convicted killer was through mail correspondence, until Burkett told her he was in love with her, eventually leading to marriage and finally to in-vitro fertilization.

Keep in mind that they were married with a partition dividing them and the most intimate thing they had ever done was touch hands.

Only Herzog could coax such peculiar facts out of his subjects and tell so strange and dark a story in such a personal way.

Into the Abyss is currently playing at the Broadway Theatre.

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16• Arts

thesheaf.com/arts• the Sheaf • January 19, 2012

Gaming under the radar: Limbo The platformer from your nightmares

Raisa Pezderic/Photo Editor

Scary-eyed boy tries to save sister, dies by giant spider attack instead.

TORIEN CAFFERATA

Do you remember the Nintendo sidescrolling games? Do you remember Mario, Mega-Man or Castlevania? Of course you do. At least one of these timeless classics has probably earned its rightful place in your childhood.

Now imagine you are playing one of those treasured titles, except you are completely stripped of your weapons, you can only jump about three feet high and you can only see in black and white. Mostly black. Did I mention there are glow-worms that burrow into your head and make you run off cliffs?

Wait, let me start over. The indie game we are looking at here is Limbo, a simple yet gripping 2D puzzle-platformer created

by Danish developer Playdead and released in July 2010. Just glancing at its spooky, voiceless trailer (and considering it has won more game awards than I knew existed) offers more than enough reason to give it a look.

The game opens in a dark forest, entirely black and white, and seen through a pulsating, flickering grain like a film noir or German Expressionist dream sequence. You wake up here as a small boy who appears only as a silhouette, apart from your beady glowing eyes. Almost everything else in your environment is, like you, a mere shadow, and the background is painted an eerie grey blur.

Aside from the creepy minimalist soundtrack, all you can hear is the unnerving ambiance of a forest: crickets, creaking trees and the pitter-patter of your feet. Already you are submerged in a surreal, disturbing atmosphere swathed in darkness, leaving much to the imagination.

The game is rather scant on details, but your goal is to find your lost sister. It is not clear why she is missing or why, in order

to find her, you must tread through a vast landscape littered with bear traps, pits-ofspikes, giant spiders and other children trying to kill you, but if we never asked these questions about Mario surely we can go with the flow here as well.

Your only defences against the above threats are your wits and dexterity as you move boxes, pull levers, activate water pipes and essentially turn traps against your enemies to overcome your brutally hostile surroundings.

The puzzles are fairly simple once you know where to look — and listen. The game gives a few hints early on about how to make use of its impeccable sound effects to compensate for what little you can see, adding an interesting dynamic to a genre largely dominated by bright lights and neon signs telling where the player to go.

Despite this, one notable way in which Limbo is very similar to retro games is this: you will die. You will die a lot. Playdead even took pride in what they called its “trial and death” play style, hearkening back to an age of more difficult yet more rewarding platformers.

Unlike older platformers, however, Limbo does not punish you through points or lives, as it even offers checkpoints generously close to your place of death.

The real penalty for death in Limbo is a punch to your sense of empathy. Despite Limbo's fairly plain graphics, the variety of gruesome and horrific deaths your character can (and will) suffer invoke not only shock value but deep sympathy for the helpless, faceless, speechless little protagonist, urging you to do better next time or witness yet another mangling.

Does it work? After watching the poor boy drown in a pathetic, flailing mess for the ninth time, I can safely say yes. Yes, it does. If by the end of this game you are not a better gamer, you will at the very least be a braver one. If you are too traumatized to reach the end of this game, you probably

have a soul and should go buy a puppy.

On a more sobering note, though I have likely been spoiled by newer, easier, more mainstream games, I did find that in a few of Limbo's puzzles it was only after about ten minutes of “trial and death” when I found, by total accident even, what the next step was.

The whole game being in black and white does result in some puzzle objects being blurred in with the rest of the foreground, making the exercise occasionally feel more like a terrifying stumble in the dark than a puzzle. Whether this adds to the game experience or subtracts from it may depend entirely on the kind of games you play.

Nonetheless I suspect even the most casual gamer will feel compelled to solve each puzzle and feel handsomely rewarded for it.

By rewarded, I of course mean that you live to see the next puzzle.

On the whole, Limbo feels like a nightmarish traipse through your childhood backyard or playground, with innocent familiarities such as tree-houses and tire swings contrasted with deranged, expressionist depictions of child-like fears, from spiders to drowning to clubs of rival neighbour kids.

Though later on you do move into an urban environment, your surroundings are always dark, silent and unforgiving, and like a child you feel frightened, alone and vulnerable. If you persevere against all odds, however, this four-hour game will leave you with a sense of triumph most games take twice as long to achieve. Just watch out for the brain-burrowing glowworms.

Limbo is currently available on Xbox LIVE, PlayStation Network, the Mac App Store and Steam.

“

If by the end of this game you are not a better gamer, you will at the very least be a braver one.

If you are too traumatized to reach the end of this game, you probably have a soul and should go buy a puppy.

Comics

January 19, 2012 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com

Across

1- Filth 5- Artful 8- Soprano Gluck 12- Cop _ 14- Cancun coin 15- London jail 16- Hackneyed 17- Language of Pakistan 18- Cornerstone abbr 19- Consist of 21- Prepare to eat, in a way 23- Classified items 24- Bingo!

25- Leb. neighbor 26- French form of kick boxing 30- Actress Woodard 32- Beethoven dedicatee 33- Act of impelling 37- Cover 38- _ and the Night Visitors

39- Emaciated 40- Disease of rabbits 42- Gravy, for one 43- Prehistoric chisellike tool 44- Beginning 45- Attorney’s org.

48- Spar 49- Dada pioneer 50- Bog 52- Astonishment 57- Against 58- Civil disturbance 60- Tall and thin 61- Parody 62- Buck follower 63- First name in cosmetics 64- Achy 65- Mohawksporting actor 66- Makes a row?

Down

1- Not fem.

2- As far as 3- A type of bake 4- Seaweed 5- Shrivelled, without moisture 6- Acid 7- Young 8- “A Death in the Family” author 9- Wears well 10- Like an unprotected sweater?

11- Tree of the birch family 13- Add fizz 14- Cat 20- Chemical ending 22- British nobleman 24- A, as in Athens 26- Denomination 27- Baseball family name 28- Antidote holder, maybe

•17

29- Take _ at (try) 30- At full speed 31- Convocation of witches 33- Mingle 34- Markers 35- A single time 36- Russian no 38- Airmail letter 41- Bumpkin 42- Flexible 44- Bruins great Bobby 45- Accumulate 46- Swindle 47- Moving 49- Car 51- Bird of prey 52- Smoke deposit 53- Impetuous 54- A big fan of 55- _ -Ball 56- Baby blues 59- Discount rack abbr.

(CUP) — Puzzles provided by BestCrosswords.com. Used with permission

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Ever think to yourself, “Eugh! Who picks these comics?!”

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18• Misc CAMPUS CHAT

thesheaf.com• the Sheaf • January 19, 2012

What is your favourite kind of pornography?

“New York cab driver on D.C. suburbanite.”

Roberta Penland

“Dick-trampling.”

“Whatever this is.”

Justin McDuffie

Wayne & Martha Keller

The Seductive Scoundrel with Jack Penworthy A native of Cambridge, England and dean of Arts and Sciences at Harvard University, Jack is delighted to be serving a residency as the Sheaf’s “Cultural Correspondent.”

T

his will be the last two-penny’s worth you hear from me.

Your university has become little more than an overpriced nursery that dispenses diplomas as if they were cheap prophylactics in the Louis’ lavatory. But to our nobler pedigree, declaring “I am a Huskie” carried a great dignity to it.

When I cruise College Drive in my ’71 Boss 351 Mustang, I always jeer at your banners that preach: inspireus and enlightenus. Keep dreaming! The gaggle of trust fund babies at your university wouldn’t know enlightenment if it struck their bollocks.

Now back when I was an undergrad, back during the Cambrian explosion, I felt much like you do now: preferring to spend my eves at gay dormitory parties, paddling the derrierès of young inductees. It was ballyhoo, but good clean ballyhoo. And I like to think my fellow Cambrians made a man out of me — many times over.

But I see you have no such fraternities on campus. And save for your crackpot engineers and rustic Ag students, you demonstrate no inter-college rivalry. Why, when I took linguistics at Cambridge we would harlequinade with the English students to no end.

One day, in the tumultuous year of 1968, we devised a delightful jest to spike the English lounge coffee with LSD. Before long, the usual yammering about Milton left this lounge, and the students stripped to their skivvies — for to run free through the once dignified halls of Cambridge. Now when the Dean got an eyeful of all their naughty bits he went, as you commoners say, apeshit. As for those English students, they ceased feeling so groovy when the dean hauled them into his office, stoned and naked as they were, and roared “You’re banned from Cambridge forever!”

Ah 1968, simpler times for all of us.

Now see, If this university wishes to revive school spirit it simply must bring back the pranks. Mark my words, future president Ilene Busch-Vishmiac: Academics are like the trunk of this mighty tree we call university; they provide strength and

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grounding to the life that unfurls upon it.

But pranks are like the fruit of this tree, making university taste sweet, and holding within seeds that will give way to new trees, ensuring the learning/ pranking cycle will breathe on in the lungs of eternity.

But I grow weary telling you all this.

Every week I expose the faux-pas in you prairie people and you never rectify your character.

So it is with the faintest regret that I am leaving this town to pursue a boyhood dream of mine — marketing Scotch to an under-16 demographic.

The truth is, I’m also being extradited on sexual harassment charges.

But I look at this like I would a speeding ticket: it’s more of a service charge than anything.

Now I know you’re all crying, “But

“AHH!!! There’s so much semen in my eyes!”

Hazel Shope

Jack! Wherever will we seek counsel on the finer things in life?” I suppose I ought to say the church or this university, but honestly, I never much cared for institutions. If you want to succeed, be like me and lean only on your own understanding.

For I am an island, only reaching the fertile lands of womankind through the long, shaft-like peninsula that is my hypnotic charm.

Now I bid thee adieu, and say take comfort my friends, for wherever you perform acts of furtive womanizing or stoic alcoholism, there I will be with you in spirit.

illustration by Brianna Whitmore

January 19, 2012 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/advertise

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thesheaf.com/advertise • the Sheaf • January 19, 2012