The Silhouette - SATSC - February 10, 2022

Thursday, December 9, 2021 | Volume 92 Thursday, February 10, 2022 | Volume 92

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The TheSilhouette Silhouette

Our annual sex, love and health issue

Our special holiday issue // PAGE 3

INSIDE:: INSIDE

FEATURES: A look at Transforming Mac week // PAGES 8-9 HUMANS: Holiday Letters with McMaster Crafters and Seniors with Skills // PAGE 18 A&C: Bake some cookies with In the Kitchen: Holiday edition // PAGE 20 SPORTS: Sit down with Alex Anthopoulos // PAGES 26-27

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The Silhouette

Volume 92, Sex and the Steel City Issue

Thursday, February 10, 2022 The Silhouette | McMaster University’s Student Newspaper

Looking back . . . 2018

Impermanence Although we don’t know how long SATSC has existed, we do know it was rebooted for Valentine’s Day 2018 and has continued strong to this day. Each A&C Editor has put their own twist on what is now a staple Sil issue.

Andrew Mrozowski editor-in-chief | eic@thesil.ca Derrick Chappell digital media specialist | dms@msu.mcmaster.ca Adrian Salopek managing editor | managing@thesil.ca Graham Wyndham-West online editor | online@thesil.ca Christina Osadchuk production editor | production@thesil.ca News

Elisa Do Amarah Hasham-Steele news staff writer Abonti Nur Ahmed news staff writer Kate O’Melia news@thesil.ca news editor

news reporter

Features features reporter

Novera Shenin

features@thesil.ca

Opinions

Diya Ahmad Ana Mamula opinion staff writer Kimia Tahei opinion staff writer Hadeeqa Aziz opinions@thesil.ca opinion editor

opinion staff writer

Arts & Culture arts & culture editor Nisha Gill arts & culture reporter Subin Park arts & culture staff writer Sarah Lopes Sadafi humans of mcmaster staff writer Esther Liu artsandculture@thesil.ca Sports

Jovan Popovic sports reporter Sava Jankovic sports staff writer Acacia Lio sports@thesil.ca sports editor

Multimedia

Yoohyun Park Jessica Yang Daisy Thang

production coordinator production assistant production assistant

production@thesil.ca

social media coordinator online@thesil.ca

Jane Lee

Travis Nguyen Ainsley Thurgood photo@thesil.ca

Legal Acknowledgement

Contact Editor-in-Chief (905) 525-9140, ext 22052 Main Office (905) 525-9140, ext 27117 Advertising eic@thesil.ca MUSC B110 McMaster University 1280 Main Street West, Hamilton, ON L8S 4S4

The Silhouette welcomes letters to the editor in person at MUSC B110, or by email at eic@thesil.ca. Please include name, address and telephone number for verification only. Letters should be 300 words or less. We reserve the right to edit, condense or reject letters and opinion articles. Opinions and editorials expressed in The Silhouette are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editorial board, the publishers, the McMaster Students Union or the University. The Silhouette is an editorially autonomous newspaper published by the McMaster Students Union. The Silhouette Board of Publications acts as an intermediary between the editorial board, the McMaster community and the McMaster Students Union. Grievances regarding The Silhouette may be forwarded in writing to: McMaster Students Union, McMaster University Student Centre, Room 201, L8S 4S4, Attn: The Silhouette Board of Publications. The Board will consider all submissions and make recommendations accordingly.

Land Acknowledgement McMaster University is located on the traditional territories shared between the Haudenosaunee confederacy and the Anishinabe nations, which was protected by the Dish with One Spoon Wampum agreement. The “Dish” represents the shared land, while “One Spoon” reinforces the idea of sharing and peace.

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We are guests on this land and are privledged to be able to work, study and live here. The Silhouette recognizes that this acknowledgement is only a single step towards reconciliation and that a lot of progess still needs to be made. We commit to ensuring Indigenous voices are heard and that their stories be told.

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News

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Simranjeet Singh has been named 2022 MSU President-Elect 11.4% voter turnout brings an all-time low to recent MSU Elections history

PHOTO C/O Simranjeet Singh

Andrew Mrozowski Editor-in-Chief

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fter a rigorous campaigning period, Simranjeet Singh has been named the McMaster Students Union the unofficial President-Elect for the 2022-2023 academic term.

“The results of the election were ratified by the MSU Elections Committee, in a meeting following the closing of polls on January 27, 2022. The Elections Committee, charged with overseeing all elections of and within the MSU, completed the campaign evaluation process by assessing fines and addressing complaints levied against candidates. In addition, the Committee witnessed and ratified the results of the tabulation of votes via Simply Voting, the MSU’s online voting portal,” stated a post on the MSU website announcing results of the election on Thursday night.

The results of the election are strikingly low with a total of 3,107 out of 27,149 students casting their vote. That equates to 11.44% of the student population.

Singh obtained 1,657 votes while Denver Della-Vedova, the current MSU President running for re-election, obtained 864 votes.

Singh obtained 1,657 votes while Denver Della-Vedova, the current MSU President running for re-election, obtained 864 votes.

586 students chose to abstain their votes.

This is the lowest voter turnout in recent MSU history. In 2020, the Silhouette reported that voter turnout reached a low of 19.6%.

Although students did not vote in last year’s acclaimed presidential race, current data suggests this downward trend will continue.

At time of publication, MSU Elections has not stated why they believe the voter turnout to be so low.

While Singh has been named the unofficial President-Elect, him and Della-Vedova have five days to contest the results and appeal to MSU Elections.

The results of the election are strikingly low with a total of 3,108 out of 27,149 students casting their vote.

That equates to 11.44% of the student population.

The Silhouette | 3

What body image looks like during a pandemic Students reflect on their relationship with their body throughout the pandemic Amarah Hasham-Steele News Reporter ince the COVID-19 pandemic began in Screasingly March 2020, many people have reported innegative body image. The Silhouette

discussed body image over the past two years with some students at McMaster University.

Serena Habib, a student at McMaster, discussed the many negative conversations surrounding body image that took place online over lockdown periods.

“There was just a lot of public discourse around, like, how we’re always sitting at our desks and getting snacks and I thought that was a lot of unnecessary pressure on people,” said Habib.

Despite this, Habib said that her body image improved over the course of the pandemic due to the communities that she found on social media. Habib recognized that this was not the case for everyone, noting that other people may have found less supportive communities online. “[The pandemic] gave me the time to be able to explore body positivity on Instagram and podcasts that really helped with body image and with taking care of [my] physical and mental health, which I don’t know if I would have gotten to do if it wasn’t for having that time to myself over the pandemic,” said Habib.

“[The pandemic] gave me the time to be able to explore body positivity on Instagram and podcasts that really helped with body image and with taking care of [my] physical and mental health, which I don’t know if I would have gotten to do if it wasn’t for having that time to myself over the pandemic.”

Serena Habib

McMaster Student Sarah Coker, another student at McMaster, also reported experiencing more positive body image after the pandemic. The pandemic helped Coker’s body image because when gyms closed, she began to explore other forms of exercise that felt better for her. Coker, who was diagnosed with anorexia in 2016, stated that, prior to the pandemic, she found herself overusing the gym.

“Now I just like to go on a lot of walks and listen to podcasts and go out more in nature and [I] do it just because I want to and it feels good for my body, rather than having to be like ‘Okay, I need to get like this [and] do all these 4 | NEWS

reps and sets,’” explained Coker.

As well, Coker explained that she has lost some muscle since the start of the pandemic and that her time away from the gym made her appreciate the strength that she had built up. “[Being] female and being powerful and strong . . . [The pandemic] made me miss that and I hope I can get back to that eventually,” said Coker.

“[Being] female and being powerful and strong . . . [The pandemic] made me miss that and I hope I can get back to that eventually.”

Sarah Coker

McMaster Student McMaster student Ekta Mishra also reflected on how the pandemic made her place more value on her physical strength. Mishra noted that, prior to the pandemic, she was far more concerned about how others would view her appearance. However, being in isolation allowed Mishra to redefine beauty standards for herself. “[Body image] had to do a lot with exercise and how I wanted my muscles to look and what I felt was acceptable and feminine. [T]hat became something that I got to decide for myself, rather than something that other people [and their] reactions would decide . . . Not facing the scrutiny of the people around you every single day makes a difference in how you begin to perceive yourself,” said Mishra.

“Not facing the scrutiny of the people around you every single day makes a difference in how you begin to perceive yourself.”

Ekta Mishra

McMaster Student On the other hand, McMaster student Sadie Macdonald stated that when the pandemic first began, it impacted her body image very negatively.

“There was a lot of time and I was like what else am I going to do? I might as well focus on what I look like. . . So that wasn’t good. I found myself slipping into [not] a disorder of any sort but definitely disordered thinking patterns and behaviors,” said Macdonald.

Macdonald said that she found herself exercising excessively and failing to eat breakfast. However, Macdonald said that she caught herself slipping into unhealthy thinking patterns and made an effort to view her body more positively. She added that during the second lockdown, she was quarantining with a

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, February 10, 2022

S friend and she had developed a much healthier relationship with exercise.

Although she was still exercising a lot, she was doing activities that she enjoyed, such as going on long bike rides. She stated that

“There was a lot of time and I was like what else am I going to do? I might as well focus on what I look like. . . So that wasn’t good. I found myself slipping into [not] a disorder of any sort but definitely disordered thinking patterns and behaviors.”

Sadie Macdonald McMaster Student

because she was exercising for fun, she was not focusing on her appearance.

“I shouldn’t see moving my body as a means to an end in that way. [Exercise] should have value in itself because it makes me feel good and if it’s not making me feel good then I don’t think I’m doing it right,” said Macdonald.

“I shouldn’t see moving my body as a means to an end in that way. [Exercise] should have value in itself because it makes me feel good and if it’s not making me feel good then I don’t think I’m doing it right.”

“For a lot of students, quarantining at home has made things difficult for them; being able to express themselves in the way that feels right to them is maybe not safe for them at home or just not as comfortable.”

Neha Shah

Women and Gender Equity Network Coordinator with gift cards to access these items.

“Last year, my predecessor and the former director of [the Student Health Education Centre] collaborated to create a program called collective care, which is our peer-run resource distribution program that is able to run virtually. How it works is students will request a gift card — we have a range of stores that we’re able to provide gift cards to — of a certain amount and indicate why they need it and then we’re able to send out these e-gift cards anonymously to them,” said Shah.

Body image can be tricky to navigate and is ultimately a unique experience for every individual. With all the challenges that the pandemic has posed, the relationship that each person has with their own body can change in both positive and negative ways. However, when we support one another in our communities, we can help alleviate some of the stressors around feeling comfortable in our own skin.

Sadie Macdonald McMaster Student

TRAVIS NGUYEN/PHOTO EDITOR

For her, focusing on body neutrality through the pandemic was more valuable than focusing on body positivity.

“Looking in the mirror and being like ‘wow, you’re beautiful today’ doesn’t help me as much as being like ‘you’re so much more interesting than that; you don’t even need to look in the mirror today’,” said Macdonald.

Neha Shah, the director of the McMaster Students Union Women and Gender Equity Network, discussed the strengths of the body neutrality movement, explaining that it does more to address systemic issues than body positivity.

Shah also explained that another aspect of COVID-19 body image is the impact that the pandemic has had on the ability of transgender and gender nonconforming individuals to present in a way that is comfortable for them.

“For a lot of students, quarantining at home has made things difficult for them; being able to express themselves in the way that feels right to them is maybe not safe for them at home or just not as comfortable,” explained Shah.

In order to combat this by providing students with gender affirming items and to provide students with sexual health items, WGEN began an initiative last year to provide students

The Silhouette | 5

Would you like a professional certificate with that undergraduate degree?

Get career ready with the hands-on skills and experience employers are seeking

McMaster Continuing Education Community Partner This article was not produced by The Silhouette. ow more than ever, employers are looking N for professionals with specific experience, skills and credentials. The job market is

growing, but “69% of employers report having trouble filling vacancies due to a lack of skills among candidates”.

What if you could gain the hands-on skills and experience you need for today’s job market while fulfilling your undergraduate degree requirements at McMaster University? With McMaster Continuing Education’s ElevateYourSkills option, you can optimize your time at McMaster by taking a certificate or diploma that can be used towards your undergraduate electives.

What if you could gain the hands-on skills and experience you need for today’s job market while fulfilling your undergraduate degree requirements at McMaster University?

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When you pursue a certificate through McMaster Continuing Education while earning your undergraduate degree, you can: -Start as early as your first year of undergrad -Ensure you will be career ready by the time you graduate -Learn from industry experts -Showcase your in-demand skills to employers -Communicate the commitment and value you will bring to a job -Stand out among other candidates when applying for the jobs you want Careers for the future by the numbers: why upgrading your skills with a certificate makes sense The #1 trend affecting the global labour market is automation and the skills upgrade needed to work with new technologies.

According to the World Economic Council, by 2025: -85 million more jobs will be displaced by machines, while 97 million new roles may emerge in new technologies, such as cloud computing, big data, e-commerce, encryption, robots and artificial intelligence.

-84% of employers are set to rapidly digitize working processes, including a significant expansion of remote work for 44% of workers.

-Even for those who remain at the same job, 40% of core occupational skills will change by 2025.

In Canada, 3, 6.56 million job openings are predicted by 2028: -75% of new jobs are expected to be in high-skill occupations, such as general practitioners, nurses, information systems analysts and consultants, software engineers and

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designers.

-4.8 million existing positions are being vacated due to replacements/retirements, thus creating a demand for skilled management personnel.

-In both Canada and the U.S., the aging population and workforce will increase the demand for healthcare professionals.

Equip yourself with in-demand skills to successfully compete in the job market. Choose from a variety of flexible online certificate and diploma programs offered by McMaster Continuing Education, including: - Accounting -Business Administration -Human Resources Management -Risk Management -Canadian Housing - Business of Golf and Resort Management - Intercultural Competency -Applied Clinical Research -Health Informatics -Health and Social Service Skill Development -Health Ventures -The Science of Cannabis -Canadian Health Care -Marketing -Digital Marketing -Creative, Critical & Design Thinking -Data Analytics -Data Science -Big Data Programming & Architecture To learn more about the ElevateYourSkills option, please visit the McMaster University Continuing Education website at mcmastercce. ca/ElevateYourSkills

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How the Queer and Trans Colour Club Creates Community Online The QTCC provides an online space for racialized 2SLGBTQ+ students to gather and build community Kate O’Melia News Staff Writer cMaster University’s Queer and Trans M Colour Club is a place for racialized 2SLGBTQIA+ students to connect and thrive

both academically and socially at McMaster.

Even while clubs remained online for the fall semester of 2021, the QTTC found avenues for students to connect. Their online workshops and their educational Instagram posts shared tips for mindfulness and how to deal with living at home during online school and the holidays.

In the fall, the QTTC held a variety of online events to encourage students to connect with one another, including a midterm destress session and their most recent workshop, A Very Queer Study Session, in which students studied together over Zoom using the Pomodoro method. The workshop also provided space to discuss mindfulness techniques and how to manage stress at home during the holidays as a 2SLGBTQIA+ student.

The workshop also provided space to discuss mindfulness techniques and how to manage stress at home during the holidays as a 2SLGBTQIA+ student.

The President of QTTC, Emma Zhang, who helped run the workshop, shared her experience at the study session and some of the tips they gave for the holiday season.

“We leave a reminder: it’s important for us to support each other in finding ways to cope with this. [T]hen we open the floor to everyone to see what tips they could have in terms of what worked for them and then we will go with what tips we have. For example, if you can, connect to the people who could affirm your identity and community. It can be online through game nights or meeting up in person,” said Zhang.

“For example, if you can, connect to the people who could affirm your identity and community. It can be online through game nights or meeting up in person,” Emma Zhang

President of QTTC

PHOTO C/O Esra Rakab

The QTTC is continuing their events in the new year with educational information for aromantic spectrum awareness week, a coffee house they host annually at the end of February. Last year, the event was hosted online.

“Last year, we had, of course, spoken word.

Also, we had people who shared their screen to show their paintings and I think some were more abstract and some were personal. Also, some people performed songs and dances that were important to them,” said Zhang.

In the month of February, the QTTC is also busy promoting educational information on their social media about Black History Month in collaboration with the Black Students’ Association.

Zhang spoke about how the QTTC hopes to provide tips on how to connect with others platonically on Valentine’s Day. “Specifically for our Valentine’s Day post, we’re hoping to also provide some resources where people can connect platonically and we

hope to address the topic of what it means to have a clear platonic relationship because as you know, queer relationships and timelines don’t really look identical to a cishet timeline,” explained Zhang.

Through every online workshop and post, QTTC is fostering a community for racialized 2LGBTQIA+ students, allowing them to still feel connected to their peers even if most students are stuck at home.

“We leave the floor and the freedom to our attendees to choose what they want to do to build the community that they want to see and I think that that is pretty powerful. And generally having a sense of solidarity of seeing people like them on the screen with them doing similar things, that’s pretty helpful. I think personally, I’ve benefited from that,” said Zhang.

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Do we really know love?

A philosophy course offers a space for exploration of some of our most intimate topics Elisa Do News Editor hat is love, really? What makes a meaningW ful relationship? How can our understanding of love and sex shift with the complexities of societal, political and ethical expectations?

The study of philosophy involves seeking out truths about the world, our relationships with one another and our relationship with ourselves. Allauren Forbes is an assistant professor at McMaster University within the department of philosophy. Forbes teaches a course called Philosophy of Love and Sex, which focuses on exploring truths about topics of love and sex.

that the importance of love and sex extends beyond just romantic relationships alone. “[T]hey’re really personal things that shape enormous amounts of the way that we live our lives, the kinds of relationships that we pursue, the kinds of choices we make about careers or where we live [and] a host of other things,” said Forbes.

Although not always obvious, love and sex are often complicated by societal values and expectations. “[Societal expectations] tell us what kinds of relationships are good or valuable [and] what kinds of structures are good or valuable,” explained Forbes.

“[Societal expectations] tell us what kinds of relationships are good or valuable [and] what kinds of structures are good or valuable.”

Allauren Forbes Assistant Professor

PHOTO C/O Allauren Forbes

The course offers students an opportunity to have discussions about philosophical topics, engage in self-reflection and analyze philosophical literature, some of which may challenge their personal views on intimate relationships.

The course offers students an opportunity to have discussions about philosophical topics, engage in self-reflection and analyze philosophical literature, some of which may challenge their personal views on intimate relationships.

Though unique to every individual, such topics are universal and monumental to how one navigates the world and Forbes believes 8 | NEWS

One example of how relationships can challenge societal norms is found in polyamorous relationships. Forbes explained that polyamory is not as widely accepted in Western societies given that monogamy is the default understanding people have about what a relationship is supposed to look like.

However, exploring philosophical questions can help investigate the value behind these assumptions in society. “[I]n the context of romance, you should have a relationship structure that suits your needs and if you are in a society that says, ‘Well, [here] is a very specific narrative: you should find the one and live happily ever after and have two kids,’ maybe that’s not what suits you.

[Philosophy] helps us question some of these structures. Maybe monogamy isn’t right for somebody. Maybe there are other ways to do things that are still in love and still meaningful and valuable [in] all the ways that traditional relationships are,” said Forbes.

In addition to societal norms, intersectional identities such as race and gender can also play a crucial role to how one experiences love and sex.

Often, Forbes explained, this can present itself in the form of racist expectations of what is appropriate or not for a particular race. False stereotypes about people can be damaging and pose extra barriers preventing people from building meaningful lives for themselves.

The community that an individual surrounds themselves with, whether it be their family or friends, can have also significant impact on their experience with relationships.

“I mean, it could be so psychologically burdensome to try and live a life that is authentic and affirming to you if the people around you think that you are living or being in the wrong kind of way or the wrong kind of relationship

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. . . [Community] has the power to lift you up but also has the power to sort of pull you back, mak[ing] it harder to live the life of your choosing but also harder to feel good about living the life you’re choosing,” said Forbes.

“I mean, it could be so psychologically burdensome to try and live a life that is authentic and affirming to you if the people around you think that you are living or being in the wrong kind of way or the wrong kind of relationship.”

Allauren Forbes Assistant Professor After teaching the course for the last two years, Forbes said that she enjoys teaching the course, though it can require an important balance between open discussion amongst the students and staying mindful of the sensitive nature of these topics.

Forbes aims to be respectful of students’ experiences, recognizing that discussions can be personal, while creating an atmosphere in which students feel comfortable engaging in stimulating conversations. As a way of promoting this environment, an anonymous form is available for students to fill out if they have any concerns they want to bring to her attention.

Stressing the importance of how philosophy can transform our understanding of love, Forbes hopes students can apply their learning to their own lives.

“I want students to come away from the class with the sort of formal school skills of philosophy to question some of these things [and] make sure that they understand the kinds of things that they want to do for themselves. I mean, I think philosophy can help us live better lives and I think that part of it is understanding what it is that we’re doing,” said Forbes.

In 2020 and 2021, Philosophy of Love and Sex (PHILOS 2ZZ3) has been offered in the fall semester. Although not certain as of date, students can keep an eye out for future offering of this course on the department of philosophy website.

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Facing sexual taboos in the classroom Students can learn more about how sexuality is defined by social constructs in a sociology course Amarah Hasham-Steele News Reporter exuality is often considered an uncomSHowever, fortable topic, especially in the classroom. there are many courses at McMaster

University that cover topics related to sexuality.

Sociology of Sexualities (SOCIOL 3UO3) is a course that explores issues related to sex and sexuality from a sociological standpoint. Tina Fetner, the chair of the sociology department at McMaster, has been teaching this course even before she began teaching at McMaster. “[The course] covers things like sexual identity and how social processes and historical [and] cultural processes have come together to socially construct the identity categories that we use every day. It also covers sexual behaviors and the way that social forces influence sexual behaviors,” said Fetner.

Fetner explained that, although many people consider their sexual behaviors to be entirely a result of their own free choice, there is evidence suggesting that social forces, such as age patterns or level of education, influence how people experience sexuality.

Fetner shared that teaching about sexuality often leads to students feeling discomfort even when they do not expect to. “[Students are] super confident that they have found their way out of any kind of sexual taboos, that unlike previous generations, they are super confident about talking about sexuality. They feel very comfortable about it,” said Fetner.

Although Fetner acknowledged that members of the younger generation are likely more comfortable talking about sexuality than their grandparents, she said that they are often still less comfortable than they consider themselves to be.

Although Fetner acknowledged that members of the younger generation are likely more comfortable talking about sexuality than their grandparents, she said that they are often still less comfortable than they consider themselves to be.

“As we actually start talking about it, we all start to giggle. We all start to express our discomfort in socially appropriate ways,” explained Fetner.

Fetner explained the importance of teaching about sexuality in an academic context, despite social taboos.

PHOTO C/O Kevin Patrick Robbins

“In order for us to understand ourselves and our social world, sexuality has to be one of the things that we’re willing to talk about and treat not as some kind of special weird taboo subject, but as a regular topic of sociological analysis where we can collect evidence, analyze it and understand the social patterns, because otherwise we’re missing an important part of the social world,” explained Fetner.

“In order for us to understand ourselves and our social world, sexuality has to be one of the things that we’re willing to talk about and treat not as some kind of special weird taboo subject, but as a regular topic of sociological analysis where we can collect evidence, analyze it and understand the social patterns, because otherwise we’re missing an important part of the social world,”

According to Fetner, it is important that we understand and discuss sexuality because it plays a major role in influencing our interactions with one another and with the world.

“It is possible to see sexuality itself as a social force and [to see] the way that sexuality has been harnessed by even larger social historical forces, like colonialism and like racism and obviously sexism and gender inequality and how either surveillance of or restrictions upon — or even criminal penalties for — certain kinds of sexuality have been used to create social divisions between groups,” explained Fetner.

Other courses offered at McMaster that discuss sexuality include a psychology course, Human Sexuality (PSYCH 3AC3), that discusses sexuality from an evolutionary and social psychology perspective and a life science course (LIFESCI 4XO3), that discusses sexuality from a biopsychological perspective.

Regardless of the faculty, these courses are all great opportunities for students to learn more about sexuality. Academic settings are now ripe with opportunities to unpack and analyze human sexuality.

Tina Fetner Associate Professor

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The return of the Aphrodite Project A year after its initial launch at McMaster, the Aphrodite Project returns with updated changes Abonti Nur Ahmed News Staff Writer 2021, an initiative known as the Aphrodite IasnProject was introduced to McMaster University a way of fostering community by helping students match with a potential romantic partner or platonic friend. Students would answer a number of questions and an algorithm would match them based on their responses.

The project has returned to McMaster on Jan. 24, 2022.

Maya Bozzo-Rey, the lead project manager at McMaster who is also a second-year honours biology student, explained that the project has become rather well known within the McMaster community. Many students have inquired about its return on Reddit and other similar platforms and Bozzo-Rey believes that the project adds a layer of community.

“It just adds a sense of community, especially now, because we’re all at home and online and it’s hard to meet new people, so it’s just nice to even find a friend,” said Bozzo-Rey.

“It just adds a sense of community, especially now, because we’re all at home and online and it’s hard to meet new people, so it’s just nice to even find a friend,” Maya Bozzo-Rey

Aphrodite Project Manager at McMaster University Last year, the algorithm that is claimed to be used has been critiqued heavily by many as the type to heavily favour one sex as opposed to the other.

However, Bozzo-Rey said that the project has come quite far since last year. Even if last year had not turned out how one would’ve wanted, this year could go better.

Angelina Zhang, a second-year honours sensory-motors student, shared her own experiences with the Aphrodite Project. She participated last year and was paired with someone who she is now friends with. She had gone in hoping to have a romantic match, but explained that the friendship she gained was just as nice.

Zhang shared that the project’s questionnaire section about what personal beliefs mattered to her the most made her need to step back and evaluate. She shared how these kinds of questions aren’t as common on more popular dating apps that have traditionally prioritized physical attributes.

“There are a lot of questions that ask you about your values, like what aspects of life you value the most. I think that’s a pretty interesting choice of questions because I feel like when we 10 |N E W S

PHOTO C/O Aphrodite Project

actually assess our relationships in real life, we don’t always think about that a lot,” said Zhang.

“There are a lot of questions that ask you about your values, like what aspects of life you value the most.

I think that’s a pretty interesting choice of questions because I feel like when we actually assess our relationships in real life, we don’t always think about that a lot,” Angelina Zhang

Aphrodite Project Participant Between the previous and current year there have been updates to the Aphrodite project interface. One key change is the profile section on the page. Students can now add a profile photo and information that would be emailed to matches can now all be seen on their profile page.

Jessica Cui, a member of the marketing and communications team for the project and second-year student at Waterloo University, explained that this was meant to make the site a little more interactive.

“I think overall, we want to make it more interactive and so you can know a little bit more about your match before you speak with them. So, like adding a picture, I think it shows more personality and then maybe even a conversation starter,” said Cui. As someone who opted to participate once again in the Aphrodite project, Zhang talked about her thoughts regarding the new

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additions to the interface.

She isn’t sure if the addition of a profile picture is absolutely necessary, considering that to her the main strength of this project was the questions themselves. She wonders if biases may present themselves because of this, stopping a potentially great match from occurring.

Finally, she discussed that, to her, it’s hard to really say if the McMaster community is brought together for the best when looking at this project. She says that, at the end of the day, it is simply more dependent on who one is matched with.

“I would say it depends on who you are matched up with, I guess . . . I think it’s pretty cool if you get matched up with someone that you kind of vibe with . . . It’s like even if you don’t end up dating them, you feel like you gained a new friend. However, I know that some people did not have a super great experience with their match for different reasons,” said Zhang.

Overall, students at McMaster, like Zhang, find themselves with the option to try and see if this project is what they need to form connections. As the years continue, it will be interesting to see how projects like the Aphrodite Project pan out and if they will continue to garner the same level of student interest annually.

As the years continue, it will be interesting to see how projects like the Aphrodite Project pan out and if they will continue to garner the same level of student interest annually.

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In-person lectures are back & here’s what they look like

As of Jan. 31 most level one classes have returned to in-person Andrew Mrozowski Editor-in-Chief Jan. 31, McMaster restarted in-person Onlectures, focusing on the level one cohort.

“All level-one undergraduate courses will

be in person giving students who have had limited opportunity to interact and spend time on campus the opportunity to adjust,” wrote McMaster President David Farrar and Provost Susan Tighe on McMaster’s COVID-19 website.

“All level-one undergraduate courses will be in person giving students who have had limited opportunity to interact and spend time on campus the opportunity to adjust.”

David Farrar & Susan Tighe President & Provost

It’s no secret that students have been on the fence whether or not they want to return to in-person classes.

The r/McMaster sub-Reddit has been a place of contention for many, sharing their criticisms of the University, their stresses of going back to in-person activities, or sharing why they are excited to go back.

The Silhouette has obtained photos of what students can expect to see when they get back into the classroom.

PHOTOS C/O Ollie Take, Contributor

T h e S i l h o u e t t e | 11

Albert Lager Prize for Student Initiative The Albert Lager Prize for Student Initiative Awards is an award designed by the Alumni Association to recognize current students who provide outstanding support, leadership and community involvement/service to their Faculty, Program or to McMaster University.

DEADLINE EXTENDED! Submit your nominations by February 28, 2022 https://mcmasteralumni.awardsplatform.com

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T h e S i l h o u e t t e | 13

It’s complicated: the perils of intimacy across cultures Students share how their existence within certain identities have rewired their approaches to romance Novera Shenin Features Reporter ith the release of season two of popular W HBO teen-romance show Euphoria this January alongside the creeping approach of

Valentine’s Day, it appears as though romance is on the back of most Marauder’s minds.

While many eager student romantics have been cruising the depths of Hinge and Tinder, or perhaps even decided to try their luck with the relaunched 2022 Aphrodite Project, there remain many cultural barriers in place for queer and racialized students to jump in on the dating apps craze.

For many such students, romance, sex and intimacy are not solely categorized by a binary of being in a relationship, but is instead a radical journey of self-discovery and constantly questioning whether their vision and presentation of romantic love are valid.

If the heteronormative expectations of romance were not enough, marginalized students often feel at a loss for how to navigate the intersections of their identities, which comes with countless cultural complexities surrounding romance which leads to vastly different experiences compared to mainstream portrayals.

If the heteronormative expectations of romance were not enough, marginalized students often feel at a loss for how to navigate the intersections of their identities, which comes with countless cultural complexities surrounding romance which leads to vastly different experiences compared to mainstream portrayals.

Mymoon Bhuiyan, a third-year material sciences student, is an active member of Engiqueers, the largest queer student-led group within the faculty of engineering. Bhuiyan identifies as a queer activist and draws attention to how queer romance is complicated as they bring forth with them institutional challenges to relationships.

“As a result of added complexity to queer, gay and trans relationships, we see a lot of

mental health crises. However, we also see positive attributes such as reduced rates of violence within queer and trans relationships,” said Bhuiyan.

Besides having to navigate adulthood, queer students can often feel uncertain about which individuals and spaces are welcoming of their identities in the first place given the presence of less than five 2SLGBTQIA+ spaces on a campus of more than 25,000 students.

Trans students particularly are disproportionately at risk of facing partner violence for their identities. Being queer while desiring romantic intimacy in the same ways that are accessible for heterosexual couples can therefore quickly become a questioning game of whether a romantic interest is safe to pursue in the first place.

It is increasingly difficult for queer students to identify other queer students to date and have relationships with, especially as many of the ways queer individuals have traditionally used to identify each other with have been assimilated as part of popular trends.

“Queer aesthetics and culture are being co-opted, the same way much of Black culture has been normalized and co-opted by other non-Black audiences. They are using our words, they are talking like us, but they forget about us,” explained Bhuiyan.

The queer community at Mac is far from being heterogeneous, with organizations such as the Queer and Trans Club of Colour acting as an avenue for racialized queer students to form community with one another. However, due to complicated cultural understandings of queerness across different demographics, Bhuiyan expressed much of dating for racialized queer students remains hidden underground on hook up apps.

“There are little to no outlets for queer folks to experience sex in a manner that does not jeopardize their safety. There is a very big difference between celebrating kink positivity and partaking in dangerous acts with strangers. Queer people don’t feel safe being open to dating in the public eye because in the end there is only a notion of acceptability in our culture. If you are a queer brown couple holding hands, you will still likely get ‘the look’,” said Bhuiyan.

“There are little to no outlets for queer folks to experience sex in a manner that does not jeopardize their safety.

There is a very big difference between celebrating kink positivity and partaking in dangerous acts with strangers. Queer people

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don’t feel safe being open to dating in the public eye because in the end there is only a notion of acceptability in our culture. If you are a queer brown couple holding hands, you will still likely get ‘the look’,” Mymoon Bhuiyan

Third Year Student and Member of Engiqueers As a Bengali woman, Anisah Ali, a second-year health and society student and the equity, inclusion and diversity officer for the McMaster Bengali Student Association, uses her lived experiences to characterize the perceptions of love within the Bengali community.

“There are certainly fewer open conversations about romance, intimacy and sex within Bengali households relative to Western cultures. Such discussions are considered very private and are not necessarily talked about openly unless it is being talked about in the context of marriage,” explained Ali. The persisting relevance of marriage within Bengali culture comes as no surprise given the countless multi-day intricate celebrations weaved within traditional Bengali weddings.

However due to this strong emphasis on settling down clashing with more casual approaches adopted by North American dating, Bengalis in the diaspora are usually unable to hold conversations about dating, boyfriends, and girlfriends with parents and other family members. While romantic relationships are slowly becoming a normalized rite of passage among newer generations of Bengalis, such relationships are typically held in secret, and are commonly frowned upon by more conservative older Bengalis.

It is not uncommon for diasporic children of immigrants to learn about sex, romance, and intimacy from other communities, sources, and the internet as it can be uncomfortable to approach parents or older members of a cultural community. Consequently, young adults from communities such as the Bengali community outsource education about intimacy from outside sources to gain knowledge of it.

“I simply wish that more Bengalis, especially our parents’ age, would talk amongst each other about romance. Maybe it will manifest into something beautiful for each and every single one of us to be fulfilled by this understanding of love to a greater degree,” hopes Ali.

“I simply wish that more Bengalis, especially our

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JESSICA YANG/PRODUCTION ASSISTANT

parents’ age, would talk amongst each other about romance. Maybe it will manifest into something beautiful for each and every single one of us to be fulfilled by this understanding of love to a greater degree,”

Whether it is because of our sexual orientation or culture, our identities shape the communities that we are involved in, and in turn, affect our experiences with intimacy. Though love and romance may seem straightforward, the reality of it is much more complicated than what meets the eye.

Anisah Ali

EDI Officer for the McMaster Bengali Student Association

T h e S i l h o u e t t e | 15

The McMaster Students Union

PRESIDENT’S PAGE

SIOBHAN TEEL Vice-President (Education)

vped@msu.mcmaster.ca 905.525.9140 x24017

With students returning to class for the winter semester, it’s an appropriate time to reflect on the academic year thus far.

Students have grappled with a lot over the past nine months, during which time the MSU’s Education and Advocacy Department has been listening to students’ concerns. The Department has amplified student voices and opinions to leaders within McMaster University, and across the city, province, and country.

At the municipal level, AVP Municipal Affairs, Mymoon Bhuiyan and I, along with members of the Municipal Affairs Committee, have been working on the MSU’s annual municipal

msu_mcmaster msumcmaster.ca text “MSU” to 71441

pre-budget submission. This document outlines the requests that students have to City leaders, in hopes of improving the experience of living in Hamilton. The MSU will delegate before City Council’s General Issues Committee to speak to student priorities, such as landlord licensing, transit, cycling infrastructure, lighting, snow clearing, racial equity, and policing. Additionally, we recently released the 2022 Your City Survey for student feedback.

This bi-annual project helps track the experiences of students living in Hamilton. This longitudinal research tool is a great way for the MSU to gather data to provide guidance to City Councilors. An example of past priorities garnered from this research includes the discovery of poor visibility in Ainslie Wood area that led to safety concerns in the community. The City subsequently worked with the MSU to increase street lighting infrastructure.

On the provincial front, both I and Muhammadhasan Nasser, a Research and Advocacy Assistant within the MSU, have been bringing the McMaster student perspective to our consultations for the Ontario Undergradu-

The President’s Page is a space sponsored and used by the Board of Directors of the McMaster Students Union (MSU) to communicate with the student body. It functions to highlight the Board’s projects, goals, and agenda for the year, as well as the general happenings of the MSU.

ate Student Alliance’s (OUSA) upcoming policy papers on Student Financial Aid, Mature Students, and Tech Enabled Learning. In the last policy cycle, the AVP Provincial and Federal Affairs, Sneha Wadhwani and I were thrilled to have our policy paper on Accountability and System Vision ratified and released by OUSA. Currently, the team is working to draft recommendations for the Tech Enabled Learning paper, which we plan to present during OUSA’s Spring 2022 General Assembly.

OUSA policy papers become the foundation of the organization’s lobbying efforts, wherein OUSA representatives meet directly with MPPs from all parties, as well as government officials, as they advocacy for students’ priorities and improved policies.

Through our federal lobbying efforts, I have been able to represent McMaster students through our federal lobby partner, the Undergraduates of Canadian Research-Intensive Universities (UCRU). At UCRU’s 2022 Lobby Week, McMaster reps highlighted student employment, improving mental health resources, supporting students with disabilities, and student financial aid, as key areas of

DENVER DELLA-VEDOVA President

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CHRISTINA DEVARAPALLI Vice-President (Adminstration)

focus for advocacy efforts to MPs and members of the federal government. The MSU has been a member of UCRU since 2015.

To date, UCRU has functioned as a volunteer effort amongst member schools. In the next few years, UCRU will likely seek to introduce a fee (similar in nature to how OUSA operates), allowing the organization to hire staff and allocated resources to support research, policy papers, and lobbying agendas.

For McMaster students, this is something to welcome, as the expansion of UCRU will open the doors to improving Francophone, Indigenous, and international students’ experiences on campus across Canada.

There’s always a ton of hard work going on at the MSU, driven by the passion and effort of students. If you would like to learn more about MSU advocacy work, please don’t hesitate to reach out. As well, many job opportunities for next year will come available on the MSU website soon. I would encourage anyone interested in gaining advocacy, lobbying, or policy writing experience to stay tuned and keep an eye out for opportunities to get involved!

SIOBHAN TEEL Vice-President (Education)

JEGANIYAH (JJ) JAYACHANDRAN

Vice-President (Finance)

Editorial

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Truck convoy crosses Canada to prove a point?

Seriously what the f**k is going on?

Andrew Mrozowski Editor-in-Chief cw: racism, coarse language s I’m sure you are all aware, on Thursday, A Jan. 27, the so called “Freedom Convoy” made its way through the Greater Toronto Area

honking their horns down the 401 as many people crowded at highway overpasses and on-ramps to watch the truckers go by.

On Friday, they arrived at Ottawa to protest COVID-19 regulations and vaccination mandates. I understand frustrations about vaccination mandates as this has been a notable issue surrounding the entire pandemic — is it just to institute a measure to force individuals to do something. I believe that I have gone into detail before in a past Editorial about how, yes, the government can do this through section one of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, the Reasonable Limits clause.

Yes, undoubtedly people should have the freedom to protest. In recent memory, we’ve seen peaceful protests with Indigenous folks protesting the pipeline, we’ve seen it last summer after the murder of George Floyd. These are just the two off the top of my head, I know there were many many more, each with their own cause for social change.

I cannot begin to emphasize the importance of these protests, they matter because

PHOTO C/O Amneet Bali, Twitter

society has irreprably harmed these groups of people.

What I cannot wrap my head around is why the f**k people are in Ottawa — physically and verbally assaulting folks who work at soup kitchens. Why people are desicrating sacred memorials. Why people are flying fucking Nazi flags — yet if you look at these individuals’ rehtorics, they simply say “we are peacefully protesting”.

Allow me to set the record straight. By absolutely no means nor stretch of the imagination does flying a Nazi flag or confederate flag or even a Trump 2024 flag mean “peaceful” in this country.

Folks who protested for actual social change have been harrassed and assaulted by law enforcement. Yet the “freedom convoy” shows up to Ottawa and they are met with some officers walking the streets with these

so-called protestors. Why is there such a disconnect?

This major disconnect has been felt by folks across the country. Many are scratching their heads asking “seriously, what the f**k is going on in Ottawa”?

Again, I am a large proponent of having the right to protest as not only is it important, but it gets change done. But protesting in front of Parliament to an empty House of Commons?

Threatning the safety of others when you don’t get what you want? Assaulting people who stand up to you? That’s not protesting. That’s domestic terrorism.

All I’m saying is that you don’t see social activists doing this. We as Canadians need to reflect on the events of the last few weeks. Are you okay with this? I know I’m not and anybody who I know that supports this hooliganism, ask yourself — why the fuck are you doing this?

Alumni and Partners Network MCMASTER.FIRSTHAND.CO Over 3,000 McMaster alumni are available at your fingertips and ready to make a connection. Join our online mentorship and networking platform, Firsthand, for career conversations, mock interviews, resumes critiques, grad school conversations, and more.

Tap into the expertise and experience of friendly alumni who are more than happy to help you with your career questions. Join today!

T h e S i l h o u e t t e | 17

Opinion Why body positivity is so important today How social media has been fuelling eating disorders and body image issues Ana Mamula Opinions Staff Writer cw: eating disorders, body dysmorphia, body image, self-harm ith today’s society being submerged in W a world of social media that advertises bodies that are considered “norms,” it can be

quite easy for one to feel down about their appearance. Today, it is not a shock when young teens decide to undergo procedures such as lip injections that are supposedly meant to look “natural.”

It begs the question: how can one be confident in their own body? We are constantly surrounded by images of individuals with body types that may be unachievable.

It begs the question: how can one be confident in their own body? We are constantly surrounded by images of individuals with body types that may be unachievable.

For example, the current ideal for a woman’s appearance is deemed as someone with big lips, a tiny nose, long hair, thin waist and an hourglass figure. And don’t forget — men need to be jacked, tall and strong.

In my own experience, it’s been interest-

ing seeing the norms change in the media throughout the years. First, we had the Tumblr phase, in which eating disorders, self-harm and anorexia were considered the norm.

It was a competition of who had it worse and whoever did was the most “beautiful.”

These were the standards around the same time I was in middle school.

Then Instagram came in. At first, it was lighthearted but as the years went on, it became more toxic.

With the rising popularity of editing apps such as FaceTune, it can become immensely difficult to discern what is real and what is fake.

Popular Instagram models and the Kardashian family have set a “norm” for what beautiful women should look like, even though their beauty may have been attained through personal training and cosmetic surgery.

Due to these overbearing images and social norms, the terms body positivity and body neutrality have become more and more prominent.

In a broad sense, body positivity is loving all bodies, no matter their size, race or anything in-between. Body neutrality is accepting your body — recognizing its remarkable abilities and non-physical characteristics instead of focusing on your physical appearance alone.

For example, let’s say I’m talking about my thighs. From a body positivity perspective, I love my thighs, cellulite and all. From a body neutrality lens, I would simply love my thighs because they help me walk.

While these terms have become more common and helped many, they’ve also negatively affected some people. The body positivity trend has also led to negative consequences such as skinny shaming, which need to be

avoided if we truly desire to treat all bodies equally.

Our society also needs to understand that a certain body isn’t the picture of health and having another body type doesn’t mean you’re inherently unhealthy.

Being healthy is allowing yourself to eat what you’d like while balancing a lifestyle that allows you to receive all the nutrients you need.

It’s learning how to take care of your mind and body. It’s creating healthy habits.

Being healthy is allowing yourself to eat what you’d like while balancing a lifestyle that allows you to receive all the nutrients you need. It’s learning how to take care of your mind and body. It’s creating healthy habits.

And it is okay to not love certain things.

It takes time — a lifetime, really. But be patient with yourself and the world and notice all the things that you were given, notice what they do and appreciate them. Practice gratitude towards yourself and others and everything else will slowly follow.

YOOHYUN PARK/PRODUCTION COORDINATOR

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Breaking away from relationship molds By accepting our individual connections, we can ensure we’re building our relationships on an honest foundation Ardena Bašić Opinions Contributor xpectations regarding our relationships are Eduring extremely prevalent in society — especially our post-secondary years. It is natural to

see young couples posting about each other on social media, attending parties together and willingly sharing their partnership status with others.

However, sometimes our personal relationships fail to follow this pattern.

We need to learn to accept our unique and individual connections and not be pressured to fit into “relationship molds.” Doing so will ensure we are bringing our most authentic selves into our relationships and building their foundations on the basis of honesty and integrity.

We need to learn to accept our unique and individual connections and not be pressured to fit into “relationship molds.”

Doing so will ensure we are bringing our most authentic selves into our relationships and building their foundations on the basis of honesty and integrity.

Anyone with an Instagram or Snapchat account will tell you they often see couples put each other’s initials in their bios, share posts about their happy times and be carefree in sharing such details.

These behaviors are so widespread that they feel like the ‘norm’ and what we have to do to for our relationship to be considered ‘normal’ in society. Placing such general expectations on our intimate relationships can do more harm than good.

We are each distinct and unique individuals and that is what we should be bringing into our relationships.

We are each distinct and unique individuals and that is what we should be bringing into our relationships.

If a person was not fond of social media before entering a relationship, but now feels as though they have to in order to meet society’s standards, the truth within such a union is

JESSICA YANG/PRODUCTION ASSISTANT

belittled.

Changing or sacrificing one’s own values because of one’s perception of society’s expectations is almost always detrimental, especially when another person, especially one close to you, is involved. If we are not being honest with ourselves about who we are and then share that version with others, we only get farther away from our invaluable individuality.

If we are not being honest with ourselves about who we are and then share that version with others, we only get farther away from our invaluable individuality.

So, while it can be fun and completely acceptable to follow through with trends, one shouldn’t be judged if they choose not to do so. Especially while dating as young students: it’s okay to want to have a ‘date night in’ rather than going out to a student house party.

It’s also okay to not want to share who you’re with and keep that private aspect of your life to yourself. At the end of the day, your relationships are all your own and you are not obligated to share that with anybody but yourself.

Keeping true to these values can also help to maintain the authenticity of a relationship by not compromising its honesty and integrity — honesty and integrity that is essential to the relationship’s foundation. Instead of sharing the version of yourself that society expects of you, you are sharing the real you.

It can be hard to understand what we really value when we’re surrounded by a multitude

of tools that distort perception, especially in the media: filters, photoshop and being selective of what one posts paints an inaccurate portrait of reality.

However, finding our true self — or even aspects of it — is invaluable and we should protect it from inconsistent external expectations as much as possible. This way, we stay honest to ourselves alongside maintaining sincere connections in our life.

In sum, trying to fit into a mold our aesthetic-driven society has created is only detrimental to ourselves and our most personal, intimate relationships. We should celebrate who we are as individuals and refrain from changing ourselves simply because we live in new or different circumstances.

Be who you want to be, date how you want, share how you want (or if you want) and cherish your own relationships in a way that aligns with what you and your partner individually desire.

Be who you want to be, date how you want, share how you want (or if you want) and cherish your own relationships in a way that aligns with what you and your partner individually desire.

T h e S i l h o u e t t e | 19

Why it’s so hard to love yourself Have you ever thought of treating yourself the way you treat others?

Hadeeqa Aziz Opinions Staff Writer s individuals, even at a young age, we’re A taught to have compassion for others.

Every quote, motto and story that we learned

revolved around the idea of showing kindness, respect and appreciation for our family, friends and superiors.

It may suffice to say that such emphasis was laid on these foundations because it was assumed that we knew how to extend these values to ourselves.

Even the infamous “golden rule” of treating others the way you’d like to be treated taught us to use ourselves as a benchmark for our behaviour to others. They never mentioned how exactly we establish this benchmark, let alone the fact that the rule implies that it can only be accomplished through the means of others.

Even the infamous “golden rule” of treating others the way you’d like to be treated taught us to use ourselves as a benchmark for our behaviour to others.

They never mentioned how exactly we establish this benchmark, let alone the fact that the rule implies that it can only be accomplished through the means of others.

It’s not a bad rule. In fact, the rule itself is beautiful. But it is only effective if you’re aware of your self-worth.

As we grew older, most of us became experts at the art of showing others compassion.

When a friend feels upset about failing a test, we’re there to tell them how smart they are and when they’re feeling insecure about their outfit, we tell them how good they look.

I’m sure it’s obvious where I’m going with this, in that when similar situations arise for ourselves, how we respond is very different.

Suddenly, we’re not smart enough to be sitting in a lecture hall and we wonder why the ogres haven’t requested to have their faces back.

You’re free to call others talented, smart and beautiful, but if you dare say those things about yourself, it’s suddenly egotistical and morally repugnant.

There’s a kind of hypocrisy where social media expects you to constantly critique yourself and deflect compliments while simultaneously telling you that you’re “worthy and special in your own way.”

Why is it so hard to think positively and 20 | OPINION

AINSLEY THURGOOD/PHOTO ASSISTANT

focus on the good things about ourselves?

For example, if we get 70 per cent on a midterm, we’re naturally more inclined to dwell on the 30 per cent of questions we got wrong rather than acknowledging the 70 percent we got correct.

Scientists tell us it’s due to a phenomenon known as the negativity bias, which implies an intrinsic asymmetry between using positive and negative information to navigate our lives.

This can easily extend to our perceptions of ourselves, opting to hang on to the negative aspects instead of appreciating the positive.

Originally, this came from an ancestral survival instinct. In terms of survival, it was far more useful for our ancestors to take heed of negative stimuli rather than focusing on positive ones.

It’s important to remind ourselves that what we’re doing here on Earth is no longer just surviving but that we have the luxury and right to live.

It’s important to remind ourselves that what we’re doing here on Earth is no longer just surviving but that we have the luxury and right to live.

With that said, it ultimately comes down to the fact that we don’t trust ourselves. Even if there’s a moment where you believe yourself to be worthy, societal suggestions or even childhood experiences swiftly replace the feeling with doubt.

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, February 10, 2022

What’s more, society has thoroughly convinced us that we must look for external outlets to fulfill this void of love.

What’s more, society has thoroughly convinced us that we must look for external outlets to fulfill this void of love.

Whether this includes finding someone else to build you up, competing with others or becoming a perfectionist, these tactics will often fail since they are rooted in self-doubt.

Instead, we need to re-teach ourselves to look for fulfillment within. It’s not remotely realistic to attempt to block out all the negativity, but I can practically see the eye-roll if I tell you to embrace it.

Finding a middle ground where you simply acknowledge your mistakes and alleged shortcomings is a start. It’s difficult to accept the good, bad and ugly parts of yourself, but unless we make an effort to do so, it will prove equally challenging to do the same for others.

If we daringly flip the saying and start to treat ourselves the way we treat others then perhaps we can finally learn to love ourselves the way we were always meant to.

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Why doesn’t young love work out?

Choosing partners through a sole focus on emotion often leaves young folks confused and hurt

PHOTO C/O Caleb Shong, Unsplash

Kimia Tahaei Opinions Staff Writer s teenagers and young adults, we often A fall in love spontaneously and that’s what makes it so exciting in the beginning. At this

age, we often don’t have strict standards and boundaries and simply go after what feels right.

Expectedly, our strong sense of passion and emotions seems to take over our barely developed sense of reason and rationality.

We choose to overlook certain red flags in our partner and relationship supposedly in the name of love.

Expectedly, our strong sense of passion and emotions seems to take over our barely developed sense of reason and rationality. We choose to overlook certain red flags in our partner and relationship supposedly in the name of love.

But, what is the aftermath of carelessly choosing a partner at a young age?

As I mentioned, in our younger years, we evidently don’t choose relationships on the basis of logic — we choose it purely based on raw fervor. Frankly, most of us didn’t know any better and it made sense to choose someone that made us initially feel loved and cared for.

However, choosing a partner purely based on emotions often heavily costs us.

I believe there are three main reasons why young love often doesn’t last and leaves both parties feeling damaged and broken.

Firstly, most teenagers and even young adults are at a malleable stage in life. We are constantly shifting and discovering new aspects of ourselves. The bitter-sweet truth is that we simply don’t remain the same person.

We are constantly shifting and discovering new aspects of ourselves. The bittersweet truth is that we simply don’t remain the same person.

Unfortunately, this has a direct effect on our relationships.

As we and our partners our constantly evolving, we often drift apart in terms of values.

Although this is not necessarily a bad thing and both progressions could be positive for both parties, they can still diverge as incompatibilities arise.

The second reason I believe young love doesn’t work out is our poor communication skills. For the majority of us, we have never been taught proper communications skills.

We lack fundamental skills such as managing our anger, communicating clearly, mindfulness and trust-building. Unfortunately, due to the absence of these principal building blocks, we frequently find ourselves confused, angry and anxious after relationship struggles.

Lastly, we often fail to recognize the importance of actively putting effort in our relationship.

Most times, when we enter a relationship at a young age, we feel as if the relationship should work out effortlessly with no bumps on the road. Evidently, this is false as there is significant importance tied to actively aiming to make your relationship a safe space for both.

For all these reasons, when young love ends, we hurt deeply — perhaps because of the feeling of confusion that is attached to it.

Often, we cannot pinpoint what exactly went wrong and all we feel is significant pain. Mixed emotions of anxiety, sadness and anger slowly into resentment towards our partners.

Our feelings puzzle us as there is always so much to unwrap and unpack. And because of these extremely perplexing emotions, young love pains us.

T h e S i l h o u e t t e | 21

GRADUATION IS JUST

THE BEGINNING

Apply today to enhance your education through a specialized Graduate Certificate program.

centennialcollege.ca/graduate-certificates 22 | OPINION

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, February 10, 2022

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Life After Mac

Real stories of Alumni for finding their way — Adetutu

McMaster Alumni Association Community Partner This article was not created by the Silhouette.

Adetutu, her future seemed to be moving Fwasorfurther and further out of her reach. She only a year away from finishing her final

semester in the Chemical Engineering Management program when she began contemplating a 16-month internship. Immediately she felt worried; worried that all her friends would graduate and move on in their lives while she would still be in university. It wasn’t until her mentor asked her: “What’s the hurry?” It seemed so simple, but in that moment Adetutu realized that there was no rush, and that she should take the opportunities presented to her if she was passionate about them. After graduating in 2012, Adetutu started out her career in engineering, and later moved into the business side of things. While she has experienced many changes, she continues to carry with her everything she learned along the way.

“I graduated from the 5-year Chemical Engineering and Management program in 2012. A year before my final semester, I recall contemplating whether to start a 16-month internship program. Part of my worries were that I was already spending 1 year longer in university than most of the friends I started with and an extra year to complete a work term would set me “behind”. Sounds funny now thinking of it but those were the types of things I worried about. When I explained this dilemma to someone who was a mentor figure to me at that time, I remember one question

he asked was “what exactly are you in a hurry to do that an extra year would keep you from?”.

I stared blankly and answered “nothing”. That was all I needed to hear then, I completed the internship and graduated 6 years after starting my undergraduate degree. Those same words frequently echo in my mind and have guided me through my career.

I was offered a job a few months after graduation and decided to pursue my career as an engineer. Starting out, I remember always saying “yes” to any task that came my way even when I was not sure of what I was doing, but learned along the way. Though I was initially excited to start my role and enjoyed all the opportunities to gain relevant work experience, my journey was not at all I had imagined it would be. After working a few years and gaining technical competence, I realized the passion I started with had dwindled. I was not sure if I still wanted to be an engineer, at the same time I was frustrated with the pace at which my career seemed to be progressing (the impatience thing again).

Having the business education from the Engineering Management program, I decided that it was time to explore another area of interest and further develop my business education and skills. I started and completed my MBA with Queen’s University while still working full time. I remember seeking advice from my mentor at the time and some senior level managers within my company. This helped me reset my focus on the development I had achieved so far, explore what may have been missing and chart out potential career paths.

After completing my MBA, I was eager to start exercising the skills and new knowledge I had gained within a new role. This transition did not happen as quickly as I hoped it would, but it

did eventually at an unexpected time through the influence of a sponsor. I enjoy the work I currently do, most especially because of the opportunity to develop and exercise new skills.

Some advice I’d like to leave for anyone starting their career: 1- Do not be in a hurry. You get to realize at some point that your career journey is unique to you and going at a steady pace is not the worst thing especially when you see its benefits 2- Always seek out advice and mentorship.

I cannot emphasize how much networking, mentorship and sponsorship has helped me in so many ways that I am grateful for 3- Focus on building skills. With any role you are working in, one of the most important things you can do for yourself is develop new skills and keep building on old ones 4- Be open to opportunities. Be the “yes” person with the right attitude and willingness to grow. This will take you a long way!”

Adetutu B.Eng Mgt ‘12 The Life After Mac series is run by the McMaster Alumni Association and provides career and life hacks from the McMaster alumni community

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PHOTO C/O Travis Nguyen

Give a listen to our latest playlist, CFMU’s Top 30 Chart for January 2022!

With music by Shad, SATE, Charlotte Day Wilson and more! https://spot.fi/3u0Rois

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19. Had COVID or got your vaccine? Congratulations, you’ve got these!

21. Going to a restaurant? Might need to complete a _____ form 23. Piece of equipment used for severe COVID cases 26. Imagine a video platform for school...but worse. What do you get?

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Humans Of McMaster: LOVE PACKS

PHOTO C/O HILARY MENEZES

Esther Liu HOM Staff Writer The Silhouette: Please introduce yourselves.

Hilary Menezes (HM): My name is Hilary Menezes. I’m a third-year student at McMaster and I’m currently pursuing an English and cultural studies degree with a minor in political science and a certificate in leadership.

Madison Menezesm (MM): I’m Madison and I’m in my second year of mechanical and biomedical engineering.

Please elaborate on the Love Packs project.

HM: Love Packs was started in the pandemic around Valentine’s Day last year . . . We realized that there are a lot of people who are super generous and donate around Christmas time and holiday season. But, moving into the new year, we realized that there weren’t really many supports for those facing homelessness or abuse [and] in shelters . . . So, when my work hosted a goal funder, we came up with Love Packs. When we were stuck at home during the pandemic, we wanted to pick up something actionable. That was the main driving force.

Just hearing about the reactions of all of the women and children and homeless folks that we provided for inspired us to continue it to be more than a one-time initiative. We ended up getting to do another one in the summer and now we’re taking it into 2022.

MM: Just thinking about the degree of how much more difficult the pandemic is for some-

one living in a shelter was also part of my reason for wanting to really help. We just wanted to make sure that we could provide them with things that they could use day to day and then also other gifts that would make them happier.

HM: To add on, something kind of unique about Love Packs is we tried to go beyond things like toilet paper, deodorant, toothbrushes and toothpaste. We provide that but we also try to include little gifts. We wanted to give people things that they might consider to be luxuries and might not have access to. These are actual people who deserve to be celebrated. So, we had the opportunity last year to give some fun gifts like makeup, snack packs and different kinds of fancy coffees and teas. We had Starbucks donate some fancy coffee. We really try to incorporate that into our philosophy of not only just giving the essentials but trying to go a little bit above and beyond that.

Could you guys talk a little bit more about the Love Packs team?

HM: Last year we did it with just the two of us in our basement. Especially with COVID, it was one of the things where we thought that we can’t get more hands because at that point, vaccines weren’t so much a thing and cases were through the roof. Still, it was great to see so many people text me. We even had some friends from middle school who we hadn’t talked to in five years offer donations. It was cool to see people helping in that capacity.

Even then, two or three of my close friends and our parents helped us transport different things when we had super large donations or for the final trip when we brought everything

2 6 | H U M A N S O F M C M A S T E R www.thesil.ca | Thursday, February 10, 2022

PHOTO C/O MADISON MENEZES

to the shelters. Our communities helped out a lot and we were so grateful. That inspired us to make it bigger this year and grow the team.

We’re gaining some traction and are actively recruiting volunteers right now. In fact, we just hired our [executive] team because we want to grow this to reach out to more people this year and give Love Packs to more people.

How have you guys been feeling about just the General McMaster community then? And I guess the communities that you’ve been interacting with as a whole?

MM: I started at McMaster without really having been on campus. But I found it fascinating even with online learning. It’s just a really welcoming environment and I definitely found a lot of people who are happy to connect. We’ve even had one of the local doughnut shops, Donut Monster, donate to our project. It was just really nice to see people in Hamilton contributing as well.

HM: It’s been amazing to see how many people from McMaster have either donated to us or businesses have supported us. Actually, the guy who drove the doughnuts from Donut Monster to our home in Mississauga, I met him through mock trial at McMaster. So, I had only known him for maybe not even a year through meetings once a week. But he still said that he’d do it. It was great to see how people are so willing to help out.

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Holding space for the stories closest to our hearts Nisha Gill A&C Editor

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ne of the first articles I wrote for the Silhouette was for the 2020 Sex and the Steel City issue. As I struggled to come up with an idea, I remember feeling daunted and underqualified to tackle the topics at the heart of the issue.

I agonized over that article, rewriting it half a dozen times before I got a draft I was even remotely happy with. But after, I also appreciated the space writing that article offered me to think about the questions of love, intimacy and relationships—and then the space the issue offered to read the stories and thoughts of others as well.

Just like that early article, I’ve agonized over this issue, too. When I started planning it, I felt just as daunted and underqualified as I did before. Sex and the Steel City is a unique special issue, close to the hearts of so many people and I wanted to do justice to that. But, I didn’t know what I had to bring to the issue.

Sex and the Steel City is a unique special issue, close to the hearts of so many people and I wanted to do justice to that.

And I kept thinking about the space that first article gave me, the spaces I’ve strived to offer interviewees as a reporter and my writers as an editor, and I thought about the unique, wonderful safety inherent in community — in a space where you are free to not only be yourself but also able to even just figure out who you are to begin with, without having to worry about protecting yourself or the expectations of others and knowing you have people in your corner who see you and will support you.

This same sense of safety, of community, is a key part of Sex and the Steel City. It’s what allows this issue to offer the space it does to not only its contributors to share the stories closest to their hearts, but also to its readers to feel seen and heard, to know they are not alone. In this year’s issue, we’ve tried to honour the importance of community, highlight the ones that have built us up as well as those we’ve built through love, intimacy and relationships.

In this year’s issue, we’ve tried to honour the importance of community, highlight the ones that have built us up as well as those we’ve built through love, intimacy and relationships.

Sex and the Steel City is a community project, a true labour of love. Thank you to everyone who contributed to this issue, who

I hope you can see yourself somewhere in these pages, even if it’s just in one image or one story and know you are not alone. shared their stories and their artwork; it has been a privilege to hear your stories over these past few weeks. Thank you to everyone on staff who wrote for and created and organized this issue. This will be the largest issue of the Silhouette to date and it wouldn’t have been possible without you.

For everyone who reads this issue, though, I hope you feel some of that same sense of community, too. I hope you can see yourself somewhere in these pages, even if it’s just in one image or one story and know you are not alone.

But if you don’t, because I also know there are stories missing from the pages of this issue, stories still to be told, I hope you know there is still space for you here, just as you are. I like to think that’s why we do this issue every year, so everyone has a chance to tell their story.

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Table Of Contents 4-5 What body image looks like during a pandemic 7 How the Queer and Trans Colour Club creates community online 10 The return of the Aphrodie Project 14-15 It’s complicated: the perils of intimacy across cultures 18 Why body positivity is so important today 19 Breaking away from relationship molds 20 Why it’s so hard to love yourself

21 Why doesn’t young love work out?

42 Sex education is a community effort

26 Humans of McMaster: Love Packs

43 Why the gender-neutral identity requires no apology

27 SATSC Opening Letter 29 Your guide to sweet treats around Hamilton

44-45 Embracing my non-binary identity 46 To love openly or to love safely . . .

30-31 Nightlife and bright lights … kind of

47 Safe queer, musical spaces in Hamilton

32-33 Let’s talk about women, pleasure and the culture of sex

48-49 Four queer books you need to read for Valentine’s Day

34-39 Artwork by Various Artists

50-51 Sil sit-down with Zeinab Khawaja

40-41 Sex after assault

56 Body neutrality within dance

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Your guide to sweet treats around Hamilton These local Hamilton bakeries have Valentine’s Day Menus sure to make your day

PHOTO C/O Cee, Unsplash

Serena Habib SATSC Contributor hether you are craving some comfort, W looking for the perfect gift or just want to spread some love to friends and family, you can never go wrong with delicious desserts. Here are some bakeries with Valentine’s Day treats meant to bring love and care with their beauty and scrumptiousness.

Cake + Loaf Bakery Instagram: @cakeandloafbakery Located in the Kirkendall North neighbourhood of Hamilton, this is your one-stop sugar cookie shop with a number of sweet options on their Valentine’s menu, including “We Belong Together Like” sugar cookies. Iced in pink or teal with white cursive on top, these heart-shaped sugar cookies are showcase your choice from the 15 most popular food duos over the years such as avocado and toast or peanut butter and jelly. Alternatively, you can create custom cookies with any two names to create your own iconic duo!

If you are looking for an activity to do on your own or with a partner, you can paint your own Valentine’s Day cookies with two blank sugar cookies, two cookie paint-palettes and two paintbrushes.

Cake + Loaf Bakery has vegan options as well, including chocolate heart peek-a-boo sandwich cookies filled with pink icing shown through a heart-shaped window and covered in a dark chocolate drizzle and sprinkles.

Li’s Sweets & Treats Instagram: @lissweetsntreats Li’s Sweets & Treats delivers to Hamilton and surrounding areas and has a Valentine’s Day Special with options that look absolutely

delicious! If you are searching for a small budget-friendly gift or want lots of variety already pre-packaged for you, this shop is ideal.

You can order a small box with chocolate covered strawberries, or a medium box with chocolate covered strawberries and red velvet truffles. Lianna’s large boxes have iced sugar cookies, soft sugar cookies, red velvet cookies, chocolate covered strawberries and red velvet truffles. However, if you only want cookies, you can get a dozen cookies for $20, choosing from red velvet, iced sugar cookies, soft sugar cookies, chocolate chip cookies with hearts and shaped chocolate chips.

Perrella Cakes Instagram: @perrellacakes Cookies, cookies and more cookies! Perella Cakes is a custom cake maker and decorate in Hamilton and has the cutest Valentine’s Day cookies.

If you want hearts, you can have single hearts, pairs of hearts together, or a heart struck by an arrow. Perella also has lettered cookies that spell out love, accompanied by hearts and sets of heart-shaped cookies with little messages for your Valentine including “Be Mine”, “I Love You” and “Hugs.”

For more detail, Perella can draw different images on her cookies, for example a lobster saying, “You’re My Lobster,” or a cookie with a sandwich and the phrase, “I love you more than Joey loves food” for the Friends fans out there.

For family and friends, there are also Valentine’s Day Decorate Your Own Cookie Kits with 12 heart-shaped sugar cookies, four colours of royal icing and six varieties of decorations.

Dolled Up Desserts Instagram: @dolledupdessertsbaking My housemate’s personal favourite, Dolled Up Desserts is a gluten free and vegan bakery in downtown Hamilton. Their Valentine’s

day menu is open for pre-orders, including choices that are classic and unique and some surprises still to come. They have Valentine’s Sprinkle Sugar Cookies, Black Forest Cake Brownies, Red Velvet Oreo Cheesecake Blondies and Buttermilk Scones. With weekly rotating flavours, their Vegan Heart Macarons have seasonal flavours including candy cane two tone, gingerbread and vanilla snowmen. They also freeze well. After all, why should Valentine’s Day occur only once a year?

Furthermore, the Valentine’s cake flavours at this bakery are truly one-of-a-kind, from coconut passionfruit, earl grey blackberry and chocolate raspberry to a customizable macaron cake.

This is a great option to suit many dietary needs but make sure to check the ingredients if you or your Valentine has a nut allergy.

Kelly’s Bake Shoppe Instagram: @kellysbake Kelly’s Bake Shoppe is 100% plant-based, gluten free and peanut free shop in downtown Burlington. Their Valentine’s Day menu includes pink shortbread cookies dipped in chocolate, coloured with pitaya powder and sprinkled with sea salt.

If you have been looking for cupcakes, this is for you, because Kelly’s Bake Shoppe has a variety of individual cupcakes and mini cupcake packs. For single Valentine’s cupcakes, you can choose from Vanilla Bean Rose, White Chocolate Raspberry and an “XO” cupcake, which is made from dark chocolate, filled with pink vanilla frosting and dipped in chocolate ganache, reading “XO” with icing on top. For the mini packs of cupcakes, there are three options: A Box of Chocolates Mini Pack, A Dozen Roses Mini Pack and the Date Night Mini Pack.

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Nightlife and bright lights…kind of Stringent restrictions on clubs and gathering spaces have changed student nightlife Sarah Lopes Sadafi A&C Staff Writer ights on the town replaced by Netflix N parties, social gatherings constrained to a Zoom screen — those have been the reali-

ties of the university social scene for the last year. The spaces once meant for dancing and screaming at the top of your lungs just to find your voice gone the next day have disappeared over the course of the COVID-19 pandemic.

The hole left by where these social spaces once stood is felt not only by students, but also by business owners and the greater Hamilton community.

Restrictions and guidelines for nightclubs, music venues and entertainment establishments have been especially stringent over the course of the pandemic, largely due to concerns over the ability to enforce mask-wearing and social distancing. As a result, a number of local nightlife hotspots have had to creatively rethink the way they operate and do business within the Hamilton community.

Restrictions and guidelines for nightclubs, music venues and entertainment establishments have been especially stringent over the course of the pandemic, largely due to concerns over the ability to enforce mask-wearing and social distancing. As a result, a number of local nightlife hotspots have had to creatively rethink the way they operate and do business within the Hamilton community.

“Nightclubs weren’t even able to open up — we’re lucky because we had seating and an in-house food menu. If you didn’t have seats, you weren’t able to open until July 2021, so we removed all our couches from the VIP area and moved bottle service onto the dance floor. It turned into a seated party,” said Dash Majithia, manager of Zen Lounge.

Brodie Schwendiman, owner and operator of The Casbah, a live music venue on King Street West, echoed similar sentiments in regards to the ways they’ve adapted their business to meet demands of ever-changing restrictions.

“From an operational standpoint, the

main way we have changed how we interact with the community would be that we have a patio now . . . People know Casbah as a place to go to see music bands or listen to a DJ. Most people wouldn’t go to The Casbah for dinner so it required a lot of extra promotional energy,” explained Schwendiman.

Though the transformation of these spaces into mainly food establishments has allowed them to continue operating given the less stringent restrictions on restaurants, there’s been a disappearance of the floors once meant for dance, crowding and heat islands of energy.

The limited operations of these gathering spaces has negative ramifications on the student social scene and larger Hamilton nightlife.

“Why do people want to go to the nightclub? To talk to other people, to dance — all of the things that were not allowed. [At Zen Lounge] you had to sit in your group that you came with. There was a max of six or eight people per table. You weren’t allowed to dance. You weren’t allowed to walk around and mingle,” said Majithia.

“Why do people want to go to the nightclub? To talk to other people, to dance — all of the things that were not allowed. [At Zen Lounge] you had to sit in your group that you came with.

There was a max of six or eight people per table. You weren’t allowed to dance.

You weren’t allowed to walk around and mingle.”

Dash Majithia

Manager of Zen Lounge There finally seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel in terms of McMaster students’ return to campus. However, having been away from campus for so long, there is now an entire generation of undergrads who have never had a ‘normal’ undergraduate social experience.

And, those social experiences aren’t always easy to find — especially right now.

Schwendiman went on to describe that, even before the pandemic, there were difficulties for small music venues like his in reaching a student audience. Non-campus-affiliated groups had a more difficult time advertising events geared towards students in the areas around campus and the variable commute to off-campus venues added a barrier to access for many.

However, nightlife establishments have now almost completely lost their student client base. In a niche market where business owners

often came to know their regular student visitors on a first-name basis, the undergrad and student crowds have been especially sparse as of late.

“I feel like we’ve lost touch with all these groups in the last few years because the people that were coming to us to do their parties and stuff moved on. The kids never came back,” said Majithia.

On the brink of a full return to campus for the Winter 2022 semester, students back in the Hamilton area can slowly find their way into the hustle and bustle of student life and with it, the nightlife of the surrounding areas.

“Finding the time is sometimes challenging, but what I would say to students is that I encourage them to carve out time to do their own research about Hamilton’s cultural scene.

Online, there’s all kinds of places to learn about what’s going on. Social media is such an important thing now, so it’s very easy to access what’s going on just by surfing around,” said Schwendiman.

“Finding the time is sometimes challenging, but what I would say to students is that I encourage them to carve out time to do their own research about Hamilton’s cultural scene.

Online, there’s all kinds of places to learn about what’s going on. Social media is such an important thing now, so it’s very easy to access what’s going on just by surfing around.”

Brodie Schwendiman

Owner and operator of The Casbah Despite the difficulties posed by restrictions that nightlife establishments have dealt with in the face of the pandemic, business owners and the Hamilton community are excited to welcome students back to the area. Take a night off and see what it means to experience the vibrant social spheres of the Hamilton community.

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Let’s talk about women, pleasure and the culture of sex

Reclaiming female pleasure through conversation and community Amelia King SATSC Contributor “sex” has seen the peak of its use Tyears.hein theword English language within the past few Yet, for many, our relationship with this

word is one that often evokes feelings of guilt, shame and embarrassment among other negative or confusing emotions as we dance around many important topics still considered to be somewhat taboo, including female sexuality and pleasure.

There is a double standard that exists between men and women with regards to sexual intimacy, influenced by several factors. More recently, many women have begun to push back against these standards, finding community in breaking the stigma against female pleasure.

There is a double standard that exists between men and women with regards to sexual intimacy, influenced by several factors. More recently, many women have begun to push back against these standards, finding community in breaking the stigma against female pleasure.

Some studies have shown women’s attitudes towards sex tend to be more susceptible to social, cultural and educational influences, adding a layer of complexity to understanding female sexuality. Namely, the widely pronounced double standard that encourages men to seek out sexual partners more often and discourages women from seeking sexual pleasure exists cross-culturally. This pervasive double standard instills more fear, shame and hesitancy into many women about sexual intimacy compared to men.

From an evolutionary perspective, it was beneficial for males to copulate with multiple partners for the sake of contributing more of their genes to the human population, whereas it was more beneficial for a woman to seek one long-term partner who would stay to help raise their offspring. Today, sex is commonly thought of more as an intimate act than merely a reproductive function.

Along with our evolutionary history, social challenges may explain why women may be more susceptible to scrutiny and feelings of shame on the basis of their sexual choices, partners and desires, although further research is needed. Both women and men tend to value emotional connection when it comes to sex.

However, the role of sex in a relationship can 32 | SEX AND THE STEEL CITY

be perceived differently between women and men. In addition, popular media including film and television tends to project an oversimplified and unrealistic portrayal of female pleasure and orgasm rates.

There is a key knowledge gap that exists as well. Studies have found both men and women struggle to accurately label the female reproductive anatomy, with this knowledge gap being more prominent in men. Moreover, while a complex interplay of physiological and psychological stimuli is responsible for both female and male arousal, various studies and female opinions attribute more weight to psychological factors in determining women’s chances and levels of arousal.

In addition to this, with a greater average length of time needed for women to reach orgasm relative to men, it is evident women have a different pathway to satisfaction compared to men.

On a positive note, in recent years, many women have found community in breaking the stigma against female pleasure, namely female self-pleasure. For many years, religion, double standards and social and cultural influences have led women to associate more feelings of guilt and shame with sex and their own pleasure than are observed in men.

In recent years, many women have found community in breaking the stigma against female pleasure, namely female self-pleasure.

Since the gap in knowledge surrounding female anatomy exists in both men and women, acts of self-pleasure allow women to explore their own bodies with less risks as well as many physical and mental health benefits relative to sex with a partner. While pleasurable intimacy in a relationship is important, learning about our own bodies both intellectually and physically is highly beneficial in determining our own pleasure stimuli and our comfort levels and boundaries surrounding intimacy.

Since the gap in knowledge surrounding female anatomy exists in both men and women, acts of self-pleasure allow women to explore their own bodies with less risks.

By encouraging dialogue on sex positivity, a shift towards reclaiming femininity in sexual intimacy has emerged. It has started

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with breaking the stigma surrounding women discussing their pleasure in the same way men often do. Another key element here has been the increase in support of female-focused pleasure both with a partner and solo, as women increasingly value the importance of receiving equal pleasure.

While there is a long way to go, this shift has created more space for women to explore and develop a healthy understanding of their own bodies. Female pleasure is not something to be hidden, ashamed of or ignored, but rather something that should be celebrated and prioritized. It’s about time women become enabled to uncover a wealth of health benefits in taking care of their sexual health as they take a radical step towards reclaiming femininity and their own pleasure.

Female pleasure is not something to be hidden, ashamed of or ignored, but rather something that should be celebrated and prioritized. It’s about time women become enabled to uncover a wealth of health benefits in taking care of their sexual health as they take a radical step towards reclaiming femininity and their own pleasure.

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“Lessons” | Sarah Lopes Sadafi & Larissa Shular

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“Home is Where the Heart Is” | Pippa MacDonald

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“Fluidity” | Kat Fraggoulis

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“Finding Myself (Again)” | Robyn LightWalker

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“Urban Love” | Travis Nguyen

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“Only You” | Larissa Shuler

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PHOTO C/O Lift Right Concrete

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Sex after assault

Things to remember on the journey of (re)discovering sex Matthew Aksamit SATSC Contributor cw: sexual assault, rape culture This is written from the personal perspective of the writer. Everyone’s experience looks and feels different and can by no means be blanketed by a single perspective. This article has been edited

by The Silhouette and Student Health Education Centre for clarity.

ight off the bat, I feel the need to clarify what Rcapitalist I mean by sexual assault. After all, we are in a institution in which the normalization

of rape culture is not only perpetuated, but also thrives — the university. I have heard countless “justifications” of assault: they were drinking or otherwise intoxicated; they were wearing provocative clothing; they were alone in a bad neighbourhood; or it does not count because it was their partner. The list goes on. There are also complexities when it comes to legal definitions of assault.

So, when I say this article is primarily for survivors of sexual assault, who am I talking about? Ultimately, I am talking about anyone who believes I am talking about them. If you are vocal about your experience or hesitant to share it, if you have pursued legal measures or if you have not, if you feel that twinge in your stomach every time you hear the word assault, or if you do not even know what to call your experience, if you are someone who has had a non-consensual encounter of a sexual nature, this is for you. These are the things I wish I knew and while I know it will not fix everything, I hope it helps.

If you are vocal about your experience or hesitant to share it, if you have pursued legal measures or if you have not, if you feel that twinge in your stomach every time you hear the word assault, or if you do not even know what to call your experience, if you are someone who has had a non-consensual encounter of a sexual nature, this is for you.

Sexual desire after assault manifests differently for every survivor!

While some individuals may experience a reduced sexual drive (hyposexuality) as a result of sexual assault, some may experience the opposite (hypersexuality). It is important to note that both, in addition to falling anywhere on the spectrum of sexual desire, are equally

valid reactions to trauma. The way you feel after assault should never be used to diminish or invalidate your experience. My personal experience manifested in hypersexuality and represented an effort to reclaim control over a narrative in which I previously didn’t have it.

Boundaries are your new best friend!

No, really! They are there to help make sure you are doing what makes you feel safe, comfortable and sexy. Boundaries are interlocked with consent and both are necessary to ensure a) this is sex, which requires consent to differentiate it from trauma and/or assault and b) you get to do the things that actively excite and please you!

Boundaries also extend far beyond the realm of sex and practicing establishing boundaries in other areas of your life, such as saying “no” to an event you really do not want to attend, can help make it feel more natural.

Give yourself time and space to mourn and heal!

One of the things I struggled with most after being assaulted was what to do after. I am very much the kind of person to try and shrug things off, get back to work and bury myself in things. Unfortunately, this meant I never really processed the trauma until it started affecting me months later. I had nightmares, panic attacks and, above all, I was confused as to what I should do.

This is where giving myself a space to mourn and heal came in. Creating a safe(r) space for myself meant surrounding myself with close friends who gave me their support and presence when it came to seeking medical care and contacting a mental health professional and a doctor. I was lucky enough to be able to see a therapist for free for a few months. Through these sessions I was able to talk through my experiences while being heard, supported and validated, all of which were necessary in my journey.

Health Education Centre offers anonymous and confidential pregnancy testing, peer support and referrals to local services, peer support and referrals to local services, the Women and Gender Equity Network offers support to all victims of sexual and gender-based violence and the Pride Community Centre offers support to 2SLGBTQIA+ and questioning individuals. The Student Wellness Centre also offers valuable resources to students.

You deserve peace and goodness!

When I was assaulted, in some twisted way, I thought I somehow deserved it. I thought it was my fault and I was ultimately responsible for my own unhappiness. I struggled and, to this day, struggle with the notion that I am a bad person. While this has not completely faded from my life, one of the things that has helped has been trying to take note of the inherent dignity I have and deserve because I am a human being. I am not perfect but in no way does this make me at fault for the situations in which I was taken advantage of.

So, what does sex after assault look like?

Well, it looks different for everybody. What is important to remember is healing happens at a different pace for everyone and your path is not abnormal because it does not line up with someone else’s. And remember, as long as there is consent, there is no such thing as doing sex wrong! Explore, have fun and know you deserve all the light the sun has to offer.

This is where giving myself a space to mourn and heal came in. Creating a safe(r) space for myself meant surrounding myself with close friends who gave me their support and presence when it came to seeking medical care and contacting a mental health professional and a doctor.

I also realize, however, that therapy is not available for everyone due to financial and other barriers, so I would also like to mention some free local and campus-based resources: the Sexual Assault Centre (Hamilton and Area) offers a 24/7 survivor support line, the Student

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Sex education is a community effort The key role of community-based education in sexual health They have also served to reinforce the importance of having these conversations at home, at school and between classmates. I had not realized it then, but I had been actively engaging in discourse with various people from different communities and these discussions helped frame the ways I approach conversations with people holding opposing beliefs.

I had been deeply embarrassed by my mother’s disproval and immediately sided with those who called parents too conservative. However, I, along with those who took on this view, had been actively ignoring the role social and cultural determinants played in the introduction of sexual education in many households. The importance of diversifying education and considering these perspectives has become immensely clear to me. By considering these perspectives, we can reframe the conversation and the ways we view the various actors in these conversations, particularly those we might consider “too conservative.” In many cases, the term “too conservative” itself ironically appears too conservative and narrow to encompass the perspectives and thoughts of the individuals in question.

I had once believed sex education was a responsibility of the curriculum while my mother believed it was a parental responsibility. Now, I am not sure it is either.

YOOHYUN PARK/PRODUCTION COORDINATOR

Ahlam Yassien SATSC Contributor ducation and promotion of sexual health Epromotion are just as important as the education and of nutritional and physical health.

However, conversations about sex education often occupy little space in homes or classrooms as this topic is still seen as taboo.

Despite this, many believe it is the responsibility of schools to teach kids about sexual health. In 1979, an overwhelming percentage of sex educators argued parents were not providing their children with the right sex education, with just under half believing this education was properly supplemented in schools.

While the data obtained in this survey is reflective of the opinions on an outdated curriculum, it is also indicative of a larger pattern — the constant battle between parents and schools about the responsibility for sex education.

Flash forward nearly 40 years and parents have protested and threatened to pull their children from classes due to the introduction of a newer, more focused curriculum. While studies indicate that family-centred education programs reduce poor health outcomes and shame, conversations on sexual health are still too often ignored, usually treated as something you should already know and never ask about.

Additionally, when considering the implications of different cultural and religious values, these conversations can be uncomfortable and daunting for both parents and children.

Like many other second-generation immigrants, I did not have these conversations at home. However, in 2015, when Ontario 42 | SEX AND THE STEEL CITY

announced it would be updating its sexual education curriculum for the first time since 1998 to include conversations about explicit content online and gender identity, my mom was among many who insisted these conversations could be taught at home.

Despite this, I still went to class and learnt about consent and internet safety. I engaged in discourse with my classmates and teachers and then came home, assuring my mom that we were not watching explicit content in class.

While I learned about sexual health at school, this education was supplemented by that enforced by cultural perspectives taught at home, both of which have grown to hold an important place in the ways I choose to go about my personal health.

I learned about sexual health at school, this education was supplemented by that enforced by cultural perspectives taught at home, both of which have grown to hold an important place in the ways I choose to go about my personal health.

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I had once believed sex education was a responsibility of the curriculum while my mother believed it was a parental responsibility. Now, I am not sure it is either.

In thinking about the continuous disagreements between educators and parents, I noticed the importance and responsibility of healthy eating and exercise are not something commonly debated between parents and teachers. I knew the dangers of smoking and doing drugs before I learnt about the importance of consent. I learned about the value of consistent oral hygiene before I had learned about vaginal hygiene.

But if I were asked to pinpoint where I had learned all these things I would not be able to give a definitive answer, mainly because these principles had been swiftly introduced and reinforced by various actors in my life. From family members to teachers, I had been taught about these things by the communities around me. As a result, I can make decisions regarding my health with these lessons in mind. Similarly, I think the goal for sex education should be to implement a curriculum not only taught at school or at home but also consistently enforced and endorsed by the community at large.

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Why the gender-neutral identity requires no apology As understanding of gender increases, nonbinary folks must learn to navigate more than just being misgendered Roya Motazedian SATSC Contributor lthough gender-neutral pronouns have A been recognized historically, awareness of pronouns and the many different gender

identities has only started to grow substantially recently. Authors from centuries ago, including Jane Austen, 18th century author of Pride and Prejudice, were using they/them pronouns in their work. With that said, if the gender-neutral phenomenon is not a recent one, why is it still so hard to exist as a gender-neutral person? I have realized it is because, while the general population is more aware, it is still not completely educated nor has it properly listened to the voices of 2SLGBTQIA+ folks to fully understand their stories.

I use they/them pronouns and in all honesty, do not expect anyone to remember.

If anyone misgenders me, I just brush it off and move on. However, the way I think and feel is not representative of everyone who uses gender-neutral pronouns. Some people prefer to correct the person who has misgendered them.

However, I have a feeling that we — those who use gender-neutral pronouns — all share a unifying discomfort when faced with the long, apologetic rambles we are met with when we are misgendered.

At my friend’s birthday party this past December in which most people were drunk and everyone was trying to catch up with one another, my friends were quick to apologize each time they used the wrong pronouns as they spoke with me. However, their apologies dragged on and I felt increasingly uncomfortable. They were clearly drunk and I blamed the way they apologized on that, but one of my friends actually said something that greatly comforted me.

“Being drunk is not an excuse for me to forget the pronouns you use,” she said.

her it was fine. I told her it did not matter, even though it did.

Then, if apologizing is the wrong thing to do, how should one act when they misgender someone?

Actually, apologizing is most definitely correct. However, it doesn’t have to be so long-winded. If you pick up on it while you are still talking, then an immediate and quick “I’m sorry” is more than enough. Apologize, correct yourself by repeating the sentence with the correct pronouns and then move on. In this way, you are avoiding making a spectacle of both misgendering someone and the misgendered person. Folks who use gender-neutral pronouns do not wish to draw attention to their gender as it is just a natural part of them.

Whenever you apologize to the misgendered person, always avoid telling them about how hard you are trying to remember or how difficult their pronouns are to use. This makes us feel as though our gender is a burden and, personally, it has often made me wonder if I even have the right to be nonbinary. If my gender is such a burden to others, is it even worth it? Should I just hide back behind my gender assigned at birth?

If you realize later that you have misgendered a person, personally, I would say to forget about the apology but remember to use the correct pronouns next time. I have received many long texts, days after I was misgendered, asking for my forgiveness. I feel burdened by this but I know other people would appreciate

the apology. It is different for every person and in this case, you should act based on your knowledge of that person.

If you take the time to talk to your gender-neutral friends, you can find out what their apology preferences are. Of course, the most preferred thing is for misgendering to never occur but it is something that can happen. Nonetheless, I am sure your friends would be happy to share their thoughts with you. It means the world when someone wants to understand you and your story.

Of course, the most preferred thing is for misgendering to never occur but it is something that can happen. Nonetheless, I am sure your friends would be happy to share their thoughts with you. It means the world when someone wants to understand you and your story.

“Being drunk is not an excuse for me to forget the pronouns you use,” she said.

She was right, I knew she was, but making a scene out of the way she had misgendered me was worsening things. To apologize excessively to the misgendered person is to relieve yourself of the guilt you have. What else do we, the misgendered persons, have to say in response to your apology then but, “It’s okay.

You’re forgiven.”?

The reality is these rambling apologies don’t just happen in drunk environments. After being misgendered in my tutorial once, which I can assure you is not a drunken environment, my classmate chased after me once the tutorial ended just to apologize. I was touched, truly, but I was also incredibly uncomfortable. Her apology just wouldn’t stop and to end it, I told

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Embracing my non-binary identity Learning to love myself through research and reflection Anna Samson SATSC Contributor uring my first year at McMaster University, I D came out as non-binary to my close friends and sister. As I grew more comfortable, I began

to tell more people. Now, aside from some conservative family members, most people in my life know I’m non-binary. However, it took a long time to embrace myself as non-binary in a world that thinks in binaries and cisnormativity.

I was assigned female at birth, always used “she/her” pronouns and stuck to that side of the gender binary. But something always felt off. I would later learn this feeling is called gender dysphoria, a term that refers to the distress one feels if their gender identity differs from their assigned sex.

I was assigned female at birth, always used “she/her” pronouns and stuck to that side of the gender binary.

But something always felt off. I would later learn this feeling is called gender dysphoria, a term that refers to the distress one feels if their gender identity differs from their assigned sex.

I remember talking to my older sister about how I did not feel like a girl or boy and worried there was something wrong with me. I asked her if she ever felt this way.

I thought it was a normal part of growing up and something everyone experiences at some point. She asked me if I was transgender. Not knowing much about the gender spectrum and growing up in a conservative Christian household, I believed the negative things I had heard about transgender people and the 2SLGBTQIA+ community and immediately replied I was not, quickly changing the topic.

But that moment stuck with me. It was one of the first times I acknowledged I do not fit into the gender binary and it was jarring. For many years after, I tried to ignore these feelings.

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In first year, I took an introductory gender studies course in which I learned about inequality, intersectionality, 2SLGBTQIA+ identities and more. This course finally gave me names for many of the things I had been experiencing and thinking about my whole life. I learnt about the gender spectrum, which especially piqued my interest because learning about a gender spectrum as a concept told me that others questioned their gender identity like I did. I did some more research and learnt about transgender identities, under which non-binary falls.

I learned there are many gender identities outside the male-female binary. Non-binary is a broad spectrum covering all gender identities that are neither solely male nor female and exist outside the gender binary. While I felt this applied to me, I also felt it was not specific enough. When I first “came out” I identified as agender, meaning I have no gender and used any pronouns. But that did not feel right either.

So, I started identifying as genderflux, meaning my gender identity fluctuates, with the base being agender, and used “she/they” pronouns.

This identity felt right for me, but I noticed no one ever used “they” pronouns for me, which was frustrating because it felt like the erasure of my gender identity. So, finally, for brevity’s sake, I have now been identifying as non-binary for years, using “they/she” pronouns. And it feels right.

Non-binary is a broad spectrum covering all gender identities that are neither solely male nor female and exist outside the gender binary. While I felt this applied to me, I also felt it was not specific enough.

But my journey to self-acceptance in terms of my gender identity did not stop there.

I also had to figure out what sort of gender expression felt most comfortable to me. Being AFAB, my gender expression has been mostly feminine but it felt wrong. Within feminine clothing, I preferred baggy clothing, though my family often scolded me, telling me to wear more form-fitting clothes. I liked wearing sports bras and bralettes that were like chest binders and wearing boy short panties or boxers made

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me feel more comfortable.

I also never got much into makeup other than wearing lipstick, because it felt very gendered and I felt using it meant I accepted being AFAB. While I know clothes and makeup are not inherently gendered, they do hold gendered connotations in society which make it difficult to embrace one’s unique identity. Ultimately, I have opted for unisex or less form-fitting clothing, as they make me feel more like myself.

While I have come a long way in learning to love myself by embracing my non-binary identity, there is still a lot of work for me to do.

I still need to find a hairstyle I feel comfortable with. I also need to accept menstruating is a bodily function outside of the gender binary.

There are several other things as well. Most importantly, any positive steps I have taken towards accepting and loving myself require practice. I still accidentally say the wrong pronouns for myself sometimes or wear gendered clothing that makes me feel uncomfortable before realizing it. Along with accepting and embracing myself, I also must forgive myself and others for getting it wrong sometimes. This is my lifelong journey of embracing myself and my non-binary identity.

Most importantly, any positive steps I have taken towards accepting and loving myself require practice. I still accidentally say the wrong pronouns for myself sometimes or wear gendered clothing that makes me feel uncomfortable before realizing it.

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To love openly or to love safely…

What does it mean to love when you feel lost?

PHOTO C/O Paulius Dragunas, Unsplash

Anonymous SATSC Contributor n Western movies, the story flows perfectly.

Iloves The cushioned Caucasian teenager realizes he his best friend and they come out happily

with outrageous shows of acceptance.

For me, there are three key moments that explain my coming out story. A film critic would give me a 1/5 star for allowing the problem to be drawn out for so long.

The first was at age nine, when my parents took me to New York City. Two men had walked by my family. They were almost exactly like my fathers — age, style of clothing and height.

Theoretically, they should’ve been insignificant, two in a crowd of so many. The only difference was their hands were linked, bodies huddled together. What had stood out to me at age nine though was the unmistakable look my parents gave them. The weight of the stare had felt personal — as if I was being scolded.

What had stood out to me at age nine though was the unmistakable look my parents gave them. The weight of the stare had felt personal — as if I was being scolded. me.

That was the first time I’d seen people like

The second was at age eleven, in a girl’s change room. There were thirty girls scattered around the unusually small room with a constant stream of noise — that is until the 46 | SEX AND THE STEEL CITY

words “I’m bisexual” echo through the room.

It’s the first time I hear of such a thing. It was also the first time my mom heard of it. My mom had fixed me with a look, one I had seen at age nine, and told me to avoid hanging out with her. Her justification was that the girl may “give it” to me if I did.

That was the first time I had hoped it was only my parent who would look at me like that.

The third was at age thirteen, in science class. My friend told me she’d finally found a boy she liked. But she wouldn’t tell me his name, not until I’d tell her the name of the boy I liked. In a strange moment of bravery, I’d told my friend her name. She pretended as if it was totally normal until she told my classmates. She said it was because “people deserved to know before they like you.”

That was the first time I’d realized that I would always be looked at like that.

Quite honestly, the stare my mom (and classmates) had given me had worked. Back then, I had believed that I was truly a flawed person and that this was all a test. If I could ignore it then I would be loved wholly by those around me. I had fit the rigid mold I told myself I loved.

This need to suppress held me hostage through my teenage years. I kissed boys I felt indifferent towards and cut out the girl who had kissed me softly. I’d watched her move cities and then schools and thought it was a blessing from God. Once again I had gently applied another bandage on the cracks that had become a gaping hole.

This need to suppress held me hostage through my teenage years.

It was a month after my eighteenth birthday when I told my newly made university friends I thought a girl in our cohort was undeniably cute. I’m not entirely sure why I told

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them, I suspect because at that point they were all pixelated profiles in a group chat. I reasoned that they wouldn’t tell my community about the thoughts I had. What threw me was that they all told me to message her, that I wouldn’t know how it would turn out unless I let myself reach out.

Despite all the comfort, I had been conditioned to think it was all a big test, that if I indulged then I would once again lose the little friends I had. So, with all the shame I held within myself for voicing my true thoughts, I had begun talking to a boy who likely regarded me poorly. I told all my friends back home and in Hamilton, desperate to prove that I was in fact keeping to my mold. I didn’t want to break.

It was when my friends began to show subtle waves of support, trying their best to show their love without overwhelming me, that I let myself hope that maybe I could be myself. Until the age of nineteen, I had truly believed the entire world hated people that loved beyond the binary.

It was when my friends began to show subtle waves of support, trying their best to show their love without overwhelming me, that I let myself hope that maybe I could be myself.

The way in which I was raised has, and will always, define a part of me. It’s the way I choose to wield it that defines what I can become.

I’m still trying to understand the power of it all, taking it one day at a time. Sometimes not every story starts with understanding identity.

Sometimes stories are started by letting yourself truly feel openly.

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Safe, queer, musical spaces in Hamilton

Nim Agalawatte introduces Sounds Gay!, a new queer-dedicated musical space Subin Park A&C Reporter t is no secret the city of Hamilton lacks dediIHamilton’s cated queer spaces. The 2018 assessment of 2SLGBTQIA+ community, Mapping

the Void, found many did not feel a strong sense of queer belongingness in the city and wanted to see more initiatives.

In the early 2000s and mid-2010s, the Hamilton core was home to several gay bars: The Embassy, The Werx, Rainbow Lounge, M Bar, The Windsor and The Steel Lounge. However, all of them have since closed their doors.

To help fill the void, new queer-focused spaces have been slowly appearing in the past few years, including Queer Outta Hamilton, House of Adam and Steve and Fruit Salad.

One of the latest queer-friendly spaces in the city is Sounds Gay!, a live music performance event hosted by Nim Agalawatte, which had its first event in November 2021 and second in December 2021.

Sounds Gay! aims to fill a gap in the current queer space landscape. There is no denying gay bars and nightclubs play an integral role in the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. Historically, these places served as safe havens for queer individuals. However, it is also important to recognize the need for more low-pressure inclusive spaces.

“The main reason I started [Sounds Gay!] was I was noticing a lot of queer events were focused on dancing or drag shows and it wasn’t very much like music performance stuff,” said Agalawatte.

“The main reason I started [Sounds Gay!] was I was noticing a lot of queer events were focused on dancing or drag shows and it wasn’t very much like music performance stuff,” Nim Agalawatte

Host of Sounds Gay! Agalawatte is a Hamilton-based musician, bassist and synth player for the Basement Revolver, 2SLGBTQIA+ advocate and member of the Hamilton Music Advisory Team. They became more aware of the gap after performing as part of Hamilton Pride last year and being one of two non-drag performances.

The positive response to both events of Sounds Gay! reaffirmed the need for diverse queer spaces. Attendees appreciated the friendliness and how welcoming the space was.

Tickets were made more accessible as well by using a sliding scale ticket system. Upcoming Sounds Gay! dates have not been planned yet due to the rise in COVID-19 cases, however, Agalawatte is looking forward to continuing

C/O MIKE HIGHFIELD & STEPHANIE MONTANI

them this year.

For Agalawatte, not only was their opportunity to perform affected by the pandemic, but they also lost an important part of their support system.

“A lot of months, I’ve been out of work which kind of does two things: one, not having my regular schedule and things I’m often working on and two, not being able to be around people who often gives you drive and support.

I’ve definitely felt down periods and found it hard to motivate myself to work on music,” said Agalawatte.

However, they noted interesting opportunities and new forms of community also arose out of the lockdowns and the pandemic. Agalawatte was able to work on new music remotely with Shanika Maria, queer Black singer-songwriter, for her new recording project Shn Shn. Digital spaces have also become a new place of community gathering.

Agalawatte was able to work on new music remotely with Shanika Maria, queer Black singer-songwriter, for her new recording project Shn Shn. Digital spaces have also become a new place of community gathering.

“I find there has been a light within the pandemic where people, because they’ve been extra lonely or maybe feel more isolated, have found newer forms of community. There [are] a lot of people reaching out on social media or finding each other through the internet and musicians from different parts of the country are also quite connected,” said Agalawatte.

“I find there has been a light within the pandemic where people...have found newer forms of community. There [are] a lot of people reaching out on social media or finding each other through the internet,” Nim Agalawatte

Host of Sounds Gay! While continuing to create more safe queer events in Hamilton through Sounds Gay!, Agalawatte hopes to support new musicians in Hamilton and open opportunities for those who have not had access to a comfortable and safe stage. Currently, they are promoting their band’s latest album, Embody, and continuing to work on their solo music as well.

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Four queer books you need to read for Valentine’s Day True love is at the heart of each and every one Couper Smith Editorial Assistant is something that only true love can Teyehere bring out in someone. That sparkle in the and a hope that one day, we will meet the

one. The one that will sweep us off our feet and bring us our happily ever after.

It may sound cliché but reading these stories reminds me of everything love means to me. It reminds me of that first love feeling, the one you can’t stop thinking about. It reminds me of the perfect love and endings one finds in fairy tales, stories where the world seems to fall into place. It reminds me of the imperfections that make love real. And it reminds me that no matter what, love is always worth fighting for.

These stories I’m sharing with you are some of my favourite stories of love. I’ve read these books so many times and each time I do they are even more beautiful than the last time I read them. I hope you’ll find a story below that will pique your interest and remind you of everything love can be.

What If It’s Us by Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera Set in the heart of the city that never sleeps, this book tells the story of Arthur, a believer in fate, the universe and love at first sight and Ben, a universe skeptic with only heartache and a box of his ex-boyfriend’s things. They cross paths at a post office, of all places. When a missing connections poster turns into a not-so-perfect first date with two do-overs, things don’t go as planned for the two. But somehow, they make it through. And in the end, no one really knows what the universe has in store. Maybe nothing, but maybe everything. Outing the most closeted romantics, this story will have you falling in love for what feels like the first time all over again.

“I guess that’s any relationship. You start with nothing and maybe end with everything.”

Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera What If It’s Us

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz Ari lives with a family that shows little affection and spends most of his time in his self-created world of doubt. Dante lives with two loving parents and is talented at almost everything he does. Two seemingly opposite individuals who somehow manage to transform one another’s life. Sometimes it takes someone special to uncover those parts of you that you never even knew were there. Sometimes it takes 48 | SEX AND THE STEEL CITY

someone special to show you the world in an entirely new way. And sometimes you just need someone special to make everything feel right.

In this beautifully and intricately woven story, you will find yourself at a loss for words as you rediscover yourself all over again.

“I wondered what that was like, to hold someone’s hand.

I bet you could sometimes find all of the mysteries of the universe in someone’s hand.”

Benjamin Alire Sáenz

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli 16-year-old closeted Simon Spiers can’t believe his rotten luck when his secret emails with Blue, the only person Simon feels he can confide in, fall into the hands of the class clown, Martin.

Now on the wrong end of blackmail, Simon’s whole world and identity are turned upside down. Being forced to choose between keeping his own sexual identity and his happiness with Blue a secret or betraying his closest friends, Simon will have to figure out who he is and what he stands for before the rest of the world chooses for him. Known to many as the award-winning film Love, Simon, you will be roped into this emotional roller coaster of a novel, being left in awe of everything true love can accomplish.

“He talked about the ocean between people. And how the whole point of everything is to find a shore worth swimming to.”

“He talked about the ocean between people. And how the whole point of everything is to find a shore worth swimming to.”

Becky Albertalli

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston From the moment Alex, son of the first female president of the United States, met Prince Henry, heir to the throne of England, their relationship has been far from diplomatic, to

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say the least. After all, overly perfect princes can be such snobs. But when one argument gets out of hand, the very relationship of their two nations is put at stake and Alex and Prince Henry are forced to damage control. After all, how hard could forcing a few friendly smiles be? But sometimes there is a charming side to people the camera doesn’t always show and maybe Alex was too quick to judge someone he might have more in common with than he first thought. In reading this story that will have you grinning and laughing, there’s no doubt you’ll be left dreaming about your own happily ever after.

“That’s the choice. I love him, with all that, because of all that. On purpose. I love him on purpose.”

Casey McQuiston

Red, White & Royal Blue

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BACKGROUND PHOTO C/O Jiroe, Unsplash BOOK COVER PHOTOS C/O Amazon

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Sil sit-down with Zeinab Khawaja

Health Promoter Zeinab Khawaja on peer support and healing through community Subin Park A&C Reporter Silhouette sat down with McMaster TtheheUniversity alumna and Health Promoter at Student Wellness Centre Zeinab Khawaja

to discuss her work in mental health, student support and the power of sharing stories with a community.

Born in Pakistan and raised mostly in Kuwait, Khawaja moved to Canada for university in 2013 to pursue a bachelor of health sciences at McMaster University. At the time, her goal was to follow her father’s footsteps and pursue medical school. However, she soon realized the pressure and competition involved in getting into one did not align with her values and interests.

Instead, with guidance and mentorship from her facilitator and instructor in the program, Khawaja discovered her passion for mental health. Her experiences volunteering with the McMaster Students Union Peer Support Line also reaffirmed her desire to work in the field of mental health and mental well-being.

The MSU Peer Support Line is no longer in operation. However, it used to serve as a help call and chat line for students to speak with trained student volunteers. The experience taught Khawaja about how to respond to disclosures and the immense difference validation and sharing stories can make, especially in a safe space with people with shared experiences.

“It was actually really powerful for me to be on the other end, whether I was answering those calls or debriefing with other volunteers, just to realize how many students are feeling lonely, overwhelmed and not good enough and recognizing how common that is. But we all think it’s just us and realizing this was life changing for me,” said Khawaja.

“It was actually really powerful for me to be on the other end...just to realize how many students are feeling lonely, overwhelmed and not good enough and recognizing how common that is. But we all think it’s just us and realizing this was life changing for me,” Zeinab Khawaja

Health Promoter at the Student Wellness Centre In her current position as a Health Promoter, Khawaja facilitates drop-in groups for students with various experiences. They include Stress Less, which explores stress and anxiety and Meet Your Neighbours which helps 50 | SEX AND THE STEEL CITY

connect international McMaster students.

Embracing Gender Diversity is one the latest groups she is co-facilitating with Simone Gomez, a counselor specializing in gender-affirming care. It is running from Jan. 24 to Apr. 4 in a biweekly Zoom format and aims to explore gender identity and connect gender-diverse and gender-questioning individuals.

Khawaja herself identifies as queer and has been exploring and questioning her own gender identity for some time so she was excited to facilitate conversation on gender and sexuality through the SWC. “Something that came up from conversations with counselors who work with gender diverse folks as well as friends, my own lived experiences and talking to students in different capacities was this need for a space where you can explore certain concepts and experiences and just make connections with other gender diverse folks,” said Khawaja.

Embracing Gender Diversity came about in response to the fact many folks find it difficult to meet others, especially during the pandemic. However, even prior to the pandemic, Khawaja recognized many people felt intimidated to walk into a space or reach out.

Many also struggled to make connections with other queer and gender diverse folks.

In the first Embracing Gender Diversity session on Jan. 24, the group discussed navigating labels and pronouns and the pressure many feel to have their labels and pronouns all figured out before sharing them with others.

“That’s a common feeling a lot of folks, as well as myself, have experienced and so we unpacked that a little bit and realized maybe that’s not necessary. It’s okay to give people draft versions of our progress and have people join us on that journey rather than feeling like I need to have it polished before I can bring my friends and community in,” said Khawaja.

“That’s a common feeling a lot of folks, as well as myself, have experienced and so we unpacked that a little bit and realized maybe that’s not necessary. It’s okay to give people draft versions of our progress and have people join us on that journey rather than feeling like I need to have it polished before I can bring my friends and community in,” Zeinab Khawaja

Health Promoter at the Student Wellness Centre In the upcoming weeks, conversation will

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, February 10, 2022

focus on body image and gender expression, romantic relationships, family and society, self-compassion and vulnerability and resilience, among others. All humans need connection and the sessions aim to promote healing and empowerment through these confidential, safe space discussions.

“We are social creatures . . . We heal through community. We heal through feeling

S not alone in our problems and struggles. When you feel like it’s me versus the world and it’s the weight of the world on my shoulders and I’m solely responsible for making sure everything is okay, that’s immensely distressing and sometimes even just having people we can confide our stressors in can be hugely healing,” explained Khawaja.

Connection is extremely powerful. The impact of knowing you are not alone and being able to relate feelings and similar experiences with others is profound.

“Recognizing that other people have the same struggles, that I’m not alone, I’m not

weird for feeling this, there is nothing wrong with me or bad about me or broken about me for struggling with this or not being sure about this and realizing there’s other people who have similar experiences you can connect to is so powerful for folks, especially young people and students,” said Khawaja.

Registration and additional information about the virtual sessions facilitated by Khawaja can be found on the SWC website. Additionally, you can learn more about Khawaja and her story of finding courage to reach out for support in her Bounce at McMaster episode.

PHOTO C/O Zeinab Khawaja

T h e S i l h o u e t t e | 51

Coffee is always a good idea.

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Sports Let’s talk about athlete’s mental health

There needs to be more awareness surrounding athlete mental health Sava Jankovic Sports Reporter s we near the date on which the latest A COVID-19 measures will be lifted, Ontario University Athletics has officially announced

a resumption of their sport competitions and there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel for many student athletes. However, there are many other ways in which the sports dynamic at universities may affect their mental health and their general wellbeing.

The recent spike in Omicron cases around Ontario prompted a lockdown that negatively affected many student athletes around the university. Not only did individuals have their pre-season heavily affected by the lockdowns but the amateur label placed on OUA also meant that teams that were supposed to have their season continue after the new year were required to wait for an additional few weeks.

The Marauders basketball teams are prime examples of students who suffered due to the measures implemented. Thomas Matsell, a player on the men’s basketball team, mentioned in a previous article that the forced pause was both frustrating and stressful. This sentiment is shared by many athletes who had to pause their activities. With that said, how much of an impact has all this had on their mental health?

In a recent study published by Sport Aide, the most common psychological problems that student athletes will suffer include depression, anxiety, eating disorders, attention deficit disorders, problems related to the use of illicit substances and psychological changes following a concussion. Many of the mental health concerns already faced by student athletes were only exacerbated by the recent obstacles they faced in playing their sport.

Marauders on the women’s tennis team, including Jovana Paramentic, explained the various ways in which the recent measures exacerbated or caused negative mental health among players. Beyond the recent COVID-19 measures, athletes who play seasonal sports have the additional burden of ensuring they take care of their health during both on and off season.

“There are many things that can affect our mental health. They can be lockdowns, rejection or something else like missing out on the sporting action that you got used to. For seasonal players [like us on the tennis team], it is essential that we take care of our mental health throughout. When our season ends, we do lack that play time and I personally would miss being with the team and playing together,” said Paramentic.

Given the various ways in which student athletes have faced unique mental health challenges due to the recent COVID-19 measures, it is important that awareness surrounding

PHOTO C/O Pixabay

athlete mental health increases. Only through greater awareness can solutions be developed.

“There are many things that can affect our mental health...For seasonal players...it is essential that we take care of our mental health...When our season ends, we do lack that play time and I personally would miss being with the team and playing together,” Jovana Paramentic

Marauders Women’s Tennis Team “I feel as if there needs to be more awareness raised with regards to the current mental health issues athletes at universities feel on a daily basis. Although there have been some prompts made before at McMaster, I think that it’s more important now than ever. When there’s so much uncertainty regarding whether we will get to play at all or not, it creates a sort

of anxiety among us that you just can’t let go of easily,” said Paramentic.

The pandemic had a significant effect on athletes’ mental health, from the cancelled 2020 season to all the delays that occurred in 2021.

“There are many reasons why an athlete’s mental health may be affected, however I feel that lately, the pandemic definitely had the highest toll on athletes, especially those which are in university. Although I can’t speak objectively, I feel that generally, the weird schedule and the ever-changing outcomes of lockdowns can confuse us and this is something that can lead us to struggle mentally,” said Paramentic.

Paramentic hopes, that in the future, McMaster can offer broader services to student athletes who are struggling with their mental stability.

“I would certainly like to see more action being done by the university in minimizing the struggles that athletes experience. Maybe setting up a more accessible counseling initiative for athletes would be useful, or anything similar,” said Paramentic.

Although OUA will resume their activities in early February, about a month after they were halted, there is still so much uncertainty regarding whether such pauses will occur again in the future. The mental health of student athletes will, without a doubt, always be vulnerable to such decisions as nobody knows exactly when the pandemic will come to a close.

T h e S i l h o u e t t e | 55

Body neutrality within dance Feeling comfortable in our own skin is hard, but dance is one way we can express ourselves freely Acacia Lio Sports Staff Writer n 2015, the concept of body neutrality began Ipositivity. to emerge in contrast to the concept of body Body positivity advocates for a world

where all people should have a positive body image despite what anyone else says. However, body neutrality proposes that people should focus on what their bodies can do for them rather than what they look like. It requires a state of mindfulness and listening to the reactions of your body, whether it is saying to eat more, less or to take a walk.

Shiny Huang is a dancer with the Mac Dance team and has danced for nearly her whole life.

“There’s definitely been instances where I don’t feel comfortable dancing in my own body, especially with the perfect body type and shape that has been discussed within the dance community . . . It was definitely more challenging during my time in high school when I was beginning to be conscious of how I looked physically and when I was dancing competitively, I would often compare my own body to other dancers which would emphasize the flaws I saw in myself,” said Huang.

“There’s definitely been instances where I don’t feel comfortable dancing in my own body . . . It was definitely more challenging during my time in high school when I was beginning to be conscious of how I looked physically and when I was dancing competitively, I would often compare my own body to other dancers which would emphasize the flaws I saw in myself,” Shiny Huang

Dancer with Mac Dance This “perfect body shape” differs among each dance style. In ballet, the ideal shape is slim, long-necked, short torso and long limbs.

This is where the divide between body positivity and neutrality exists. Body positivity would advise one to do whatever it takes to feel positive about how they look. However, this can be interpreted as forcing your body to fit that specific ballet mold. In body neutrality, one 56 | SPORTS

accepts that their body can move and express itself without idealizing that body type.

In a dance studio, there is a huge mirror in the front where you can stare at everyone and everyone can stare back at you. You might end up comparing yourself to the person next to you — their form is a little better, the costume fits them just a little tighter or their arms are just a little longer. Similarly, in life and in our university career, we can find ourselves constantly comparing our grades, extracurriculars and even the way we dress to our peers. What we don’t see is the constant swirling of similar thoughts and comparisons going through their heads.

“I think maturing in my faith has also really helped me to love my body as it is. Being a Christian, I learned to really put my identity in God and to focus on what’s in my heart rather than letting myself worry about what’s on the outside,” explained Huang.

This concept of body neutrality focuses on a personal mindset. One can’t change the way others think and it takes a lot to conform our personal mentality that has been shaped by constant external pressure implemented over our entire lives. However, people shouldn’t let this stop them from expressing themselves.

“Dance has always been an outlet of mine, when I’m stressed and needing a break from studying or feeling sad or feeling down from a bad day . . . a way to, I guess, tell a story or to just let my body move however it wants to or needs to. And since I’m not the best with my words a lot of the time, I think my body does it for me whether it’s for someone else to hear or to feel or just a reminder for myself,” Huang explained.

“Dance has always been an outlet of mine. . . a way to, I guess, tell a story or to just let my body move however it wants to or needs to. And since I’m not the best with my words a lot of the time, I think my body does it for me whether it’s for someone else to hear or to feel or just a reminder for myself,” Shiny Huang

Dancer with Mac Dance Dance isn’t for everyone but finding a way to release that internal stress and express oneself is important for anyone’s personal journey. What works for someone else may not work for you, just as what worked for you in the past may not work anymore. It’s all about listening to your body and keeping an open and ever-evolving mindset.

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, February 10, 2022

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McMaster Museum of Art museum.mcmaster.ca @macmuseum

(

(Scapegoat) Sydné, 2017. © nichola feldman-kiss

nichola feldman-kiss \ Scapegoat Curated by Pamela Edmonds and Mona Filip February 9 – March 18, 2022 an Ontario government agency un organisme du gouvernement de l’Ontario

Tim Whiten Elemental: Ethereal Curated by Pamela Edmonds February 10 - May 14, 2022

an Ontario government agency un organisme du gouvernement de l’Ontario

)

Kobe Bryant’s Legacy lives on at McMaster Kobe Bryant’s impact on Marauders basketball athletes is still strong two years after his passing Jovan Popovic Sports Editor cw: death 26, 2020, it seemed like a normal day.

Jan. Until it wasn’t.

At 9:47 a.m. in Calabasas, California, the

police department received an emergency call about a helicopter crash into the mountainside. It was shortly after 10:00 a.m. that phones would start buzzing around the world.

The world would soon learn that the helicopter belonged to National Basketball Association legend Kobe Bryant. On the helicopter were nine people, including Bryant, his 13-year-old daughter and youth basketball sensation Gianna Bryant, famed college baseball coach John Altobelli and six others, all of whom would pass away on impact from the crash.

Fans worldwide mourned the lost NBA legend. Hours turned into days. Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months.

Bryant, NBA hall of famer was an 18-time all-star, 15-time all-NBA recipient, five-time NBA champion and was the 2007-2008 NBA MVP. He even went on to hold the position of third alltime in points scored, although he now holds the position of fourth. Despite all of his success on the court, it was his mentality that drew the respect of millions — the Mamba Mentality.

Bryant’s unmatched work ethic was well documented and countless athletes looked up to him for that very reason, including several McMaster athletes. As the two-year anniversary of his death passes, many students, including Mia Spadafora of the women’s basketball team, still look back on the day.

“I’ll never forget going to morning practice [on] Monday morning . . . No one wanted to talk about it, no one wanted to believe that it was true. It was one of those things that if you don’t say it [then] it isn’t true and if we don’t talk about it [then] it didn’t happen,” said Spadafora.

“No one wanted to believe that it was true. It was one of those things that if you don’t say it [then] it isn’t true and if we don’t talk about it [then] it didn’t happen,” Mia Spadafora

Women’s Basketball Team It wasn’t an easy time for any basketball fan. His passing wasn’t something that would pass over quickly as he was such an idol and role model for many.

“It was heartbreaking because it felt like one of those things that never ended. This horrible day happened and you’re taking it with you. You’re trying to embody and encompass 58 | SPORTS

PHOTO C/O Celebs Journey, Flickr

Kobe Bryant every time you’re stepping on the court,” explained Spadafora.

Point guard Arianne Soriano also felt that this news was a big shock for the team. It’s something she is still unable to let go of years later.

“You can tell even though it was just through messages that everyone was pretty upset by the news. It definitely was a game changer and it opened our eyes as a team. I still carry that news with me especially with the anniversary [having recently passed],” said Soriano.

The impact that Bryant had on the individuals and on their team were significant. He touched the lives of many people and inspired both women to continue pushing the limits.

“Maybe I’m not the best player on the team, but the work ethic is there. I’m a team player and that leadership style is there. That’s something he’s taught me . . . When I looked at Kobe Bryant I saw his leadership and his commitment to people on and off the court. As I noticed his attachment to women’s basketball, that was the extra inspiration I needed,” explained Spadafora.

Several members of the team were able to embrace the legacy that Kobe left behind, using it as a method of motive rather than simply mourning his loss.

“The death of Kobe was really inspirational because it reminded us of the kind of player Kobe was. He’s the one that influenced Mamba Mentality. He’d have a three hour practice, for example, and would stay afterwards putting up extra shots, so that was the type of mentality that made us go harder that year . . . He made me want to put more work in,” Said Soriano Bryant was an especially large figure for women in basketball. With five daughters of his own, he would quickly become an ambassador for women’s basketball, spurring interest through his own daughter, Gianna Bryant. This was just another reason why he meant such a great deal to the members of McMaster’s women’s basketball team.

“He was a huge ambassador for women’s sports, especially women’s basketball. With his

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, February 10, 2022

daughter Gianna, he put in so much work after his career just to put more attention towards women’s basketball,” explained Soriano.

“He was a huge ambassador for...women’s basketball.

With...Gianna, he put in so much work...to put more attention towards women’s basketball,” Arienne Soriano Pointguard

Spadafora not only felt a significant impact from Kobe on women’s basketball, but also from Gianna Bryant, despite just being 13 years old at the time of her passing.

“It breaks my heart to think about Gigi, his daughter, and how he was paving the way to put women at that standard that we never thought we’d be at in sport. I always think about where she would be now,” said Spadafora.

Despite being two years removed, it’s still a difficult pill for many to swallow. Bryant was always viewed as much more than just an athlete and to have such a tragic ending is why so many people have such a hard time moving on from his passing.

“It feels like a lot longer. It’s still hard to believe he’s gone . . . It really makes you realize how [you have to] play every game like it’s [going to] be your last because you never know. Playing basketball really is a privilege,” said Soriano.

Bryant might not be with us any longer, but the mentality that he lived for and passed on to so many will live on forever. Go chase that lifelong goal. Go put in the work and do what it takes. Never stop. Be like Kobe. Be legendary.

Heroes get remembered, but legends never die.

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Think Pink initiative by Marauders Marauders work together to raise awareness and funding for Think Pink Breast Cancer Fundraiser Sava Jankovic Sports Reporter year, around the end of January, the MaEforvery rauders have gathered to spread awareness Think Pink Breast Cancer initiatives. Not only

do they spread awareness through social media accounts, but they also prompt the wider public to donate to the initiative.

In a small description on the donations website, the Marauders explained their cause and described it as a yearly ritual.

“Every year, Marauder student-athletes come together for Think Pink, raising funds for breast cancer research, education and advocacy,” stated the iFundMac donations page.

From Jan. 24 to Jan. 28, the Athletics and Recreation will change their colors from maroon to pink to raise awareness for the cause. “Throughout the week, Marauder’s will Think Pink and bring together students, staff, and community members in support of an important cause and inspire hope for the future,” stated the iFundMac website.

The McMaster Alumni Community has pledged that all funds raised through the campaign will be donated to support local breast cancer research at the Juravinski Cancer Center.

Throughout the past week, Marauders did not only take to social media to spread awareness and gather the donations for Think Pink, but they have also conducted some in-person activities on campus that were broadcasted live. On Jan. 26 four student athletes — Victoria DiDomenico, Arianne Soriano, Deanna Mataseje and Jasmine Lewis — volunteered at the Think Pink event and have donated their hair for the cause.

To broaden this initiative, the Marauders also had the Director of Athletics and Recreation, Shawn Burt, speak about his experiences with cancer and why Think Pink is so important.

“I, like so many in this community, unfortunately have a close connection to this cause. Nothing happens without great people stepping up and getting behind the cause,” said Burt.

PHOTO C/O Pixabay

While we don’t have a cure for cancer, it is important to raise awareness for the Think Pink cause, as millions go through the struggles of Breast Cancer on a yearly basis. The McMaster Marauders initiative may only be on a yearly basis, but the support from the community is a great way way to help.

McMaster Athletes Care Think Pink is a yearly fundraiser. More information and how to donate can be found at iFundMac.

More information and how to donate can be found at iFundMac.

“I, like so many in this community, unfortunately have a close connection to this cause. Nothing happens without great people stepping up and getting behind the cause,” Shawn Burt

Director of Athletics and Recreation As of Jan. 28, the Athletes Care donation website for Think Pink has raised $810. Their goal is to reach $2000.

T h e S i l h o u e t t e | 59

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T h e S i l h o u e t t e | 61

DEEZ NUTS: A LOVE STORY D69

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