The Silhouette - SATSC - February 9, 2023

Management

executive editor Andrew Mrozowski executive@thesil.ca

editor-in-chief Nisha Gill editorinchief@thesil.ca

digital media specialist Derrick Chappell dms@msu.mcmaster.ca

multimedia editor Christina Osadchuk multimedia@thesil.ca

News news editor Amarah Hasham-Steele news@thesil.ca

news reporter Kate O’Melia newsrep@thesil.ca

news staff writer Bela Davidson

news staff writer Edwin Thomas

Opinions

opinion editor Ana Mamula opinions@thesil.ca

opinion staff writer Hadeeqa Aziz

opinion staff writer Breanna Khameraj

opinion staff writer Fatima Sarfraz

opinion staff writer Ayushka Tiwary

Arts & Culture

arts & culture editor Subin Park artsandculture@thesil.ca

arts & culture reporter Abonti Nur Ahmed artsandculturerep@thesil.ca

arts & culture staff writer Michelle Li

arts & culture staff writer Joleen Awad

humans of mcmaster staff writer Esther Liu

Sports

sports editor Jovan Popovic sports@thesil.ca

sports reporter Sava Jankovic sportsrep@thesil.ca

sports staff writer Miguel Sibal

sports staff writer Alyssa Wheeler

sports staff writer Jenny Zhao

Multimedia

multimedia coordinator Yoohyun Park

multimedia assistant Jessica Yang

multimedia assistant Daisy Thang

multimedia assistant Julio Diaz

multimedia assistant Vicky Lin

social media coordinator Noor Al Omran multimedia@thesil.ca

cover by Julio diaz, andrew mrozowski, christina osadchuk, subin park

Volume 93, Sex and the Steel City Issue

Thursday, February 9, 2023

The Silhouette | McMaster University’s Student Newspaper

Looking back . . .

February 14, 2019

Our 2019 Sex and the Steel City issue actually came out on Valentine’s day! This annual issue is a special one for all our staff and we are proud to be able to continue encouraging the conversation on sexuality, love and health while bringing to light important issues in our community with this special issue.

Get Involved Contact

Executive Editor

(905) 525-9140, ext 22052

Editor-in-Chief

(905) 525-9140, ext 27117

Advertising executive@thesil.ca

MUSC B110

McMaster University

1280 Main Street West, Hamilton, ON L8S 4S4

Land Acknowledgement

McMaster University is located on the traditional territories shared between the Haudenosaunee confederacy and the Anishinabe nations, which was protected by the Dish with One Spoon Wampum agreement. The “Dish” represents the shared land, while “One Spoon” reinforces the idea of sharing and peace.

We are guests on this land and are privledged to be able to work, study and live here. The Silhouette recognizes that this acknowledgement is only a single step towards reconciliation and that a lot of progess still needs to be made. We commit to ensuring Indigenous voices are heard and that their stories be told.

Interested in contributing? Scan the QR code, fll out the form on the website and let us know what you want to cover!

Legal Acknowledgement

The Silhouette welcomes letters to the editor in person at MUSC B110, or by email at thesil@thesil.ca. Please include name, address and telephone number for verifcation only. Letters should be 300 words or less. We reserve the right to edit, condense or reject letters and opinion articles. Opinions and editorials expressed in The Silhouette are those of the author and do not necessarily refect those of the editorial board, the publishers, the McMaster Students Union or McMaster University. The Silhouette is an editorially autonomous newspaper published by the McMaster Students Union. The Silhouette Board of Publications acts as an intermediary between the editorial board, the McMaster community and the McMaster Students Union. Grievances regarding The Silhouette may be forwarded in writing to: McMaster Students Union, McMaster University Student Centre, Room 201, L8S 4S4, Attn: The Silhouette Board of Publications. The Board will consider all submissions and make recommendations accordingly.

WGEN works to address rape culture on campus

WGEN’s Culture of Consent event educated students about consent and sexual violence misconceptions

Edwin Thomas News Staff Writer

cw: discussion of sexual assault

According to a 2018 survey conducted by the Council of Ontario Universities, 22 per cent of respondents from McMaster University indicated that they had experienced sexual assault since the start of the 2017-2018 academic year. Additionally, overall survey respondents indicated that the perpetrator was an acquaintance in 26 per cent of cases and a friend in 25 per cent of cases.

In response to the high rates of sexual violence on campuses, student leaders from universities across Canada released a sexual violence prevention report in August 2022 addressed to universities and the provincial and federal governments. Their calls to action includes creating education plans and implementing trauma-informed practices, focusing on survivors’ voices in institutional policy making and prioritizing a national standard for addressing campus sexual violence in the National Action Plan to End Gender-Based Violence.

Events like the Women and Gender Equity Network’s “Building a Culture of Consent” are part of addressing the rape culture and prevalence of sexual violence on campuses. The event ran on Jan. 18 as part of the McMaster Students Union’s Wellbeing Week. The event aimed to educate students on the topic of consent, dispel common myths surrounding it and provide sexual assault resources.

Rijaa Khan, a fourth-year student in applied psychology and human behaviour and an events executive at WGEN, believes there is a strong need for students to be educated about consent due to the misconceptions that perpetuate rape culture on campus.

“A common myth that people believe in is that sexual assault only happens in alleyways or dark places by strangers. That was one of the main myths that [WGEN] had to tackle because a lot of the time, according to statistics, sexual assault happens by someone that someone knows,” explained Khan.

During the event, students also created a Clothesline for Resistance, with designs on paper t-shirt cut-outs that refected their main takeaways from the event. Some examples of the designs included messages such as, “Rape is 100 per cent the rapist’s fault”, emphasizing

the importance of holding perpetrators accountable for their actions and rejecting victim blaming.

Khan also discussed the importance of bridging the disconnect between sexual violence resources and students’ knowledge about them.

“A lot of people don’t even know how to fle a complaint or report that something has happened to them because they don’t know the [sexual violence] resources that McMaster offers . . . If we talk more about consent and rape culture, the resources can reach more people who need it,” said Khan.

Khan highlighted that WGEN has a Safe(r) Space program that provides students with peer support. The initiative aims to create a safe space for individuals that are seeking help, including survivors of sexual assault. WGEN also focuses on being a resource for survivors and connecting them to other sexual assault

support resources in the Hamilton community.

Additionally, WGEN will be hosting a weekly survivors community group, open to students who are survivors of sexual, gender-based, and/or intimate partner violence.

Khan advocated for students to actively learn about consent and statistics on how sexual assaults can occur, in order to change their perception of sexual violence in university settings.

“I think constantly challenging your understanding of rape culture is really important. A lot of [students] formulate these ideas of rape culture and how sexual assault can happen based on the media,” said Khan.

Khan encourages students to follow WGEN’s Instagram to learn about resources surrounding sexual violence support and education.

PHOTO C/O Rigaa Khan

The PCC is making history with Mac’s frst Queer Prom

The MSU Pride Community Centre’s first Queer Prom promises music, donuts and a surprise celeb performance

Bela Davidson News Staff Writer

Thisyear, the McMaster Students Union Pride Community Centre is hosting their frst Queer Prom at the Art Gallery of Hamilton on Mar. 3. The event is in collaboration with EngiQueers and Queer and Trans Colour Club.

Although this is the PCC’s frst time hosting this event, 2SLGBTQIA+ social advocacy group Fruit Salad: Hamilton Edition held Hamilton’s frst Queer Prom in June 2022. The event was also held at the Art Gallery of Hamilton and brought in attendees from all over the province.

The tradition of 2SLGBTQIA+ safe dances have been important in queer spaces all over the world for several years. In 1995, one of the very frst recorded queer proms in America was organized in Hayward, California.

In a 2014 documentary covering the Hayward Gay Prom, participants detail how this tradition allows 2SLGBTQIA+ youth to safely experience one of the most romanticized milestones of American youth.

Avery Kemble, assistant director of the PCC, shared that these ideas rang true to McMaster’s 2023 Queer Prom. Kemble explained that this event aims to provide the queer community an opportunity to experience an inclusive, safe and fun prom. Kemble explained that some students may not have had this opportunity previously, due to pandemic restrictions or homophobic school requirements.

“So many high school proms are so cis [normative and] heteronormative and it’s so hard for queer people to be able to go and feel welcome at an event like that. There are stories of people not even being allowed to bring same-sex partners or having dress codes that say girls must wear dresses and guys must wear suits. It’s all very limiting for queer people,” said Kemble.

PCC Training and Development Coordinator Ava Shah-Beigi discussed with The Silhouette that the PCC’s Queer Prom is a meaningful opportunity to celebrate queer culture in a unique and accessible way.

“It’s so nice that there is so many aspects of queer culture that are celebrated within the confnes of nightlife, such as bars or drag shows. But we also think that it’s important to have events that don’t necessarily center around nightlife, but rather something more like a formal, which offers options for queer students,” said Shah-Beigi.

Kemble shared that the PCC has been hard at work planning Queer Prom since September 2022.

“So many high school proms are so cis [normative and] heteronormative and it’s so hard for queer people to be able to go and feel welcome at an event like that. There are stories of people not even being allowed to bring same-sex partners or having dress codes that say girls must wear dresses and guys must wear suits. It’s all very limiting for queer people.”

Avery Kemble Assistant Director, Pride Community Centre

She explained that it was important to them to ensure that the event is as accessible as possible. This includes cheaper ticket options to reduce fnancial barriers for some students. Kemble shared that, because queer people are already more likely to be of lower income or require fnancial aid, it was important for the PCC to make tickets as affordable as possible, which they were able to achieve through external funding.

Shah-Beigi shared with The Silhouette that in an effort to make Queer Prom as accessible as possible, the PCC has organized a rafe to provide free tickets and outfts for the event.

“We will be providing a free ticket to three to fve students with fnancial needs and there’s like a person we’re collaborating with that will provide them a free outft as well. We don’t want people to face any barriers when it comes to fnances. We want to be able to have everyone celebrated whether or not they come from a wealthy background,” said Shah-Beigi.

The Queer Prom will be chock-full of music, games and entertainment. There will be a professional DJ, a donut bar, a caricature artist, drag queen performances and a surprise celebrity performer.

Shah-Beigi also shared that the event is Renaissance themed and attendees are encouraged to come dressed in their most extravagant themed attire.

Whether it be for the entertainment, the dessert bar or just to celebrate queerness in a safe and uplifting space,

“We will be providing a free ticket to 3-5 students with fnancial needs, and there’s like a person we’re collaborating with that will provide them a free o as well. We don’t want people to face any barriers when it comes to fnances. We want to be able to have everyone celebrated whether or not they come from a wealthy background.”

Ava Shah-Beiji Training and Development Coordinator, Pride Community Centre

McMaster’s frst Queer Prom is an event to not be missed.

“Growing up, prom is such a milestone event that you look forward to and we want the queer community at McMaster to have that opportunity to be brought together and foster a sense of belonging and inclusion, to show queer people that they matter,” said Kemble.

“Growing up, prom is such a milestone event that you look forward to and we want the queer community at McMaster to have that opportunity to be brought together and foster a sense of belonging and inclusion, to show queer people that they mater.”

Avery Kemble Assistant Director, Pride Community Centre

For more information about Queer Prom, visit the McMaster PCC Instagram.

DISCOUNTS STUDENT

SCAN FOR MORE INFO ON HOW YOU CAN SAVE MONEY AROUND HAMILTON AS A MCMASTER STUDENT! MSUMCMASTER.CA/SAVINGS

e McMaster Students Union

PRESIDENT’S PAGE

With the winter term underway, students should keep eye out for the hiring of paid part-time roles for the 20232024 academic year. Many opportunities are available, including positions titled PartTime Managers or PTMs, who lead the MSU’s student-led services. Part-Time Managers include the Coordinators, Directors, and Assistant Directors who oversee the operations of the MSU’s peer support and student life enhancement services. rough these roles, PTMs have the ability to shape student life via msu_mcmaster

msumcmaster.ca

the support structures, event planning, community development, and (central to some services) fostering safe(r) spaces. PTMs are necessary to enhance the experiences of McMaster students. Some examples of PTM-led operations you have may have already witnessed include the Emergency First Response Team (EFRT) attending to a call on campus, the Maroons cheering on the McMaster Marauders at varsity games, or the Student Health Education Centre’s (SHEC’s) wide array of peer support resources – to name only a few of the more than dozen student-led services. Playing a large role in the hiring process as the Vice-President (Administration), I have the privilege of reviewing hundreds of applications and interviewing dozens of students who demonstrate passion and a deep commitment to helping the MSU support the McMaster community. Interviewing with current students and learning about their ded-

The President’s Page is a space sponsored and used by the McMaster Students Union (MSU) Board of Directors (BoD) to communicate with the student body. It functions to highlight the Board’s projects, goals, and agenda for the year, as well as the general happenings of the MSU.

ication to campus life leaves me with a sense of promise and optimism for the future. With the strong leadership capabilities of applicants thus far, I am con dent that the organization will continue to adapt and grow, continuously evolving to meet the needs of students. Talking with candidates is equally as exciting for the current PTMs themselves, as they hear how prospective leaders plan to carry on the work and legacy of a service into the new academic year. is year, I have worked closely with PTMs to promote MSU services within the McMaster community to re-establish the recognition we had prior to the COVID-19 pandemic. rough these efforts, we have certainly seen an increase in service usage throughout the year, which has translated to an increased interest in PTM positions from the student body. ough hiring has begun, the process will function over a series of closing dates, with many op-

portunities still available. Students from a variety of backgrounds are encouraged to apply and all applications are considered equally. No experience with the MSU is required. As a PTM, you would have the opportunity to hone your leadership skills, work closely with elected student leaders and professional sta , while enhancing student life. Finally, the act of leading a service is not tied to one or two people, all services are led by an executive team. If you are passionate about the mission and/or programming of a particular MSU service, consider applying to be an executive member or as a general service volunteer. ese positions will open later in second semester. All available roles can be found on the MSU’s employment page at msumcmaster.ca/jobs. Be sure to visit the webpage o en. New positions are posted regularly throughout the year. I hope you nd what interests you!

MITCHELL GERMAN Vice-President (Administration)

SARPHINA CHIU Vice-President (Finance)

ELIZABETH WONG Vice-President (Education)

MITCHELL GERMAN Vice-President (Administration)

SIMRANJEET (SIM) SINGH President

The importance of safe spaces in unsafe times

While having spaces to share your story and be heard won’t necessarily fix a world that can seem immensely uncertain and unsafe, they still matter

Nisha Gill Editor-in-Chief

Our annual love and positivity issue, Sex and the Steel City is one of my favourite issues that we do at the Silhouette. Especially as a former Arts and Culture writer and editor this issues holds a very special place in my heart.

The history of this issue can be traced back at least a dozen years and while the content of the issue has evolved over these years with each new A&C Editor, I think the core of this issue has remained the same and it continues to highlight some of the best things about our publication. Not only does our entire team pour their heart into this issue, it is also one of our issues where we consistently have the most contributors and involvement from

the larger community and it is a chance for us to share particular stories that don’t always get the attention they deserve.

Every year though, I struggle to write my piece for this issue, wanting to be sure I can do justice to this amazing issues and the stories I have the privilege to share. This year is no different and this year in particular, as I sat down to write this editorial, I was struck by how much there is going on in our community and around the world — protests around increasing police budgets, ongoing housing crises, struggling health care systems, a continuing pandemic, police brutality, ongoing war, famine, earthquakes and natural disasters on top of everything else — and it feels wrong to let it pass without at least acknowledging it.

For me, this issue — and the Silhouette itself to some extent — has always been connected to the idea of safety, the kind of safety inherent in community

where you are able to share your stories without fear and are open and willing to listen without judgement to the stories of others. And it’s hard to be putting together this issue as I look around at a world that feels increasingly uncertain and unsafe. But I think in times where the world seems dangerous and uncertain, it’s all the more important to have safe spaces.

And I’m not so naïve as to think a newspaper or any safe space is going to solve any of these crises, but, maybe a bit foolishly, I like to believe that they can offer some repreive from the chaos and intensity of the rest of the world, that they can remind us of the good things in our world, that they can hold space for hope and for love, that they can share stories and can encourage unity and understanding.I don’t think we should ever underestimate the power of having a space like that — especially in unsafe and uncertain times.

“An immense pleasure to read ... The love of invertebrates and the complexity of human behaviour are beautifully married in this imaginative thriller ... The invertebrates are truly fantastic. The murders are clever and gruesome ... A riveting novel that is diffcult to put down ... I thoroughly enjoyed it”

Marvin Gunderman - Entomology Instructor at McMaster University’s Department of Biology (retd)

Murder Bugs: A Love Story is a mystery novel set in West Hamilton, about a McMaster University entomology student helping Hamilton police hunt a serial killer who uses insects as weapons.

Published by Fire Ant Press. Mark Coakley also wrote the true-crime classics Hidden Harvest & Tip and Trade (ECW Press).

Buy paperbacks, audiobooks and Kindle at amazon.com/author/markcoakleybooks Ebooks and free samples: markcoakleybooks.com

Reflecting back on their memories of 2022, our Music Committee have put together a playlist featuring their favourite songs of the year that just passed.

https://tinyurl.com/24k89k8r

The call for a new relationship status

Life isn’t black and white, so our relationship status shouldn’t be either

Ardena Bašić Opinions Contributor

We often defne our relationship status in terms of a binary: we are either with another person or not. In other words, we can only ever be “taken” or “single.”

Like most things in our lives, it cannot be that simple. An intuitive and modern example would be “situationships,” where there is no clear line between being single or taken. Yet, I argue that we need to expand beyond this simplifed approach. Instead of determining our status based on our ties to others, we should look at it as a focus on our internal or external environment.

In any relationship, there needs to be time to learn about the other person, their different signals and gestures, those little nuances that help you really understand a person. Consequently, when in a relationship, our minds become so focused on analyzing our external environment that we forget to look at our internal relationship with ourselves. As such, many psychologists argue that — while we are busy dating others — we often forget to date ourselves.

generation when it is the “norm” to defne oneself with these labels. However, this new perspective of clear markers puts a more positive spin on working on your relationship with yourself in lieu of seeing oneself as lesser or incomplete without a signifcant other. After all, if relationships are to add to our overall spirit and not just fll a missing piece, we need to know ourselves enough to fnd the best energy

we must care for ourselves and equally, when considering our own self-refection, we must consider our most important relationships. Similarly, we also have to consider our most important relationships when considering our own self-refection. Life isn’t black and white, so our relation-

to complement our own.

So, in conversation, one can say their focus leans more towards external or internal relationships to replace the terms “taken” or “single”. This idea takes away the daunting label that is associated with being alone and instead posits it in a way that focuses on growth and development: the epitome of supporting oneself.

It should be noted that this is not another binary, but instead a continuum with no real “zero” value. Even in strong relationships,

As a result, many individuals perceive being single as a time to work on themselves as our focus shifts to something different from the labels of “taken” or “single”. This is a time to look at things like further education, going to the gym more and pursuing hobbies with or without others around. When there isn’t a major distraction — in this case a major relationship to work on — there is more time for these pursuits and the associated self-discovery.

In days of agile relationships based on instant gratifcation, not defning oneself as single or taken stands out as an outlier — especially in the younger

ship status should not be either. Overall, we should refuse to position ourselves in binaries simply for the sake of societal expectations. This idea applies in every area of life, but especially when it is connected to our own self-worth and development. As we move forward and our priorities change, we can name our relationship status a movement along a continuum instead of a jump between left and right.

Consequently, when in a relationship, our minds become so focused on analyzing our external environment that we forget to look at our internal relationship with ourselves.

After all, if relationships are to add to our overall spirit and not just fll a missing piece, we need to know ourselves enough to fnd the best energy to complement our own.

Life isn’t black and white, so our relationship status should not be either.

We need more accessible and inclusive sex-ed

Comprehensive sexual education provided by universities can help students navigate their developing identities, relationships and choices

Ayushka Tiwary Opinions Staff

Iknow how to fnd the hypotenuse of a triangle. I can name each of the planets in our solar system. I can even list several literary devices. But if you ask me what I learned about sexual health over the span of the fve years it’s taught in the public school curriculum, I could tell you nothing. Absolutely nothing. Unfortunately, the awkward giggles, bewildered expressions and uncomfortable atmosphere are all that’s cemented in my brain years later.

As young adults transitioning from high school to university, life on campus introduces opportunities to explore new relationships, new experiences and new choices.

However, as students begin to pursue sexual experiences, they’re forced to rely on sub-par sex-ed from high-school, conversations with friends or searches on the web — which aren’t always reliable.

Given the diversity of students at university, it’s important to recognize the various experiences and levels of exposure individuals have received to sexual education.

Depending on where students come from, sex and sexual health may be severely stigmatized. As a result, the formal sexual education curriculum may be minimal to non-existent, leaving many international students with a poor understanding of sexuality, reproductive health and rights.

Even for domestic students who receive curriculum-based sex-ed in Canada, the content is not culturally inclusive and fails to take a holistic approach.

All students, and especially Black Indigenous and People of Colour students, would beneft from an anti-racist approach to sexual education that decolonizes, Indigenizes and dismantles systems of oppression. Such an approach to sex-ed offered in post-secondary settings would open opportunities for important dialogues that include BIPOC experiences.

These communities have also been disproportionately affected by poor health outcomes, such as higher rates of sexual violence and sexually transmitted infections, due to various determinants including low socioeconomic status, inequitable access to healthcare and a lack of trust in the healthcare systems that have a history of racism, discrimination and structural violence. An anti-racist sex-ed framework could offer better support for these communities.

It is also critical to support the disconnect young adults with diverse identities experience when navigating their sexuality and health. For instance, the colonization and historical trauma experienced by the Indigenous community still deeply affect their ability to relate to

the content taught in school curriculums. Likewise, 2SLGBTQ2IA+ students need access to better support and a sex-ed curriculum that remains inclusive of their experiences and provides evidence-based information to promote positive sexual health outcomes.

It is also critical that students with disabilities receive proper access to comprehensive sex-ed. Too often, individuals with disabilities are stripped of their dignity and autonomy — that needs to change. Applying health equity and justice frameworks to centre the experiences and voices of oppressed groups is key to ensuring all individuals are able to express their sexuality on their own terms. Sex-ed matters. It gives students power over their identity, sexuality, health, relationships and more importantly, their future.

Everyone has the right to comprehensive sexual education and I believe that a comprehensive sexual education curriculum is an intersectional and equitable one. Comprehensive sexual education incorporates the narratives of BIPOC communities, rather than outdated and oppressive frameworks from the past. It also provides students with the opportunity to learn about topics beyond reproductive health such as healthy relationships, sexual violence prevention, body image, gender identity and sexual orientation.

With the need for more comprehensive sex-ed, universities can help bridge the knowledge gap left by schools. They can create safe and accessible spaces that encourage learning about sexuahealth and well-being in unbiased, non-judgemental ways.

And while the McMaster Students Union services like the Student Health Education Centre, Women & Gender Equity Network and the Pride Community Centre are already working towards disseminating this knowledge and providing resourc-

es for students, McMaster has a unique opportunity to do more.

By implementing comprehensive sexed during Welcome Week and orientation for incoming students, and offering regular support through the Student Wellness Centre, McMaster can promote positive sexual health outcomes and leave their students feeling sexually-empowered with a greater recognition for their dignity and bodily autonomy.

Sex-ed is an ongoing process and shouldn’t stop in high school. As we continue to grow and discover ourselves, the relevancy of sex-ed increases and so does the need for universities to equip their students with accessible support and evidence-based resources.

With the need for more comprehensive sex-ed, universities can help bridge the knowledge gap left by schools. They can create safe and accessible spaces that encourage learning about sexual health and well-being in unbiased and non-judgemental ways.

Writer

JESSICA YANG/MULTIMEDIA ASSISTANT

Reproductions of Tate’s chokehold

How outright and subliminal misogyny in mainstream “self-help” media is taking the fun out of casual dating

Cassie Wong-Wylie Opinions Contributor

cw: mentions of sexual violence

Navigating sexual shame as a girl, a teen and, now, a young woman is something that is a very much shared and lived experience for the gross majority of women. Personally, I remember feeling a lot of shame about my sexuality from other women. It was easy to feel less judgment from men who were drawn to sexual prowess.

Fast forward to today, when I now feel relatively secure in my embodied sexuality and work hard to omit shame from my sex life, I fnd fellowship and power when talking about sexuality with other women. However, this shift has also come with newfound obstacles. I began to encounter men who view sex as a physical actualization of sexist societal values and through their sexual pursuits sought to secure their place as the apex, “alpha”, sex.

I cannot tell if it was my aging that revealed these sorts of men or the landscape around me that caused them to emerge. A landscape that is directly regressive to gender equality and emphatically contributes to homophobia, transphobia, female subjugation and, by extension, sexual subjugation. This is namely, the chokehold that right-winged, misogynistic, “personal-growth gurus” like Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson seem to have on boys and young men via social media platforms.

Dating, sex, relationships and general social interactions have changed since the fanaticism, or even just subliminal infuence, of the macho-hustle mentality and with it, a new wave of outright misogyny. I can say confdently I have met the men I once thought only existed as hyperbolized wisecracks and parodies of pathetically insecure men my friends and I would joke about. After having met these caricatures, I believe the sensationalized Tate brothers, Jordan Peterson and other men who nonchalantly front self-help through avenues of female subjugation

have ruined dating.

This isn’t to say all men have been corrupted by this infuence. However, with how infuential this mentality has become, I see myself on a night out or a frst date dreading that a guy might secretly revere a “boom in her face, grab her neck, shut her up” pseudo-mantra, just to quote one instance where Tate quite literally encourages sexual violence.

It’s crazy to be talking to a man and suddenly, with just the slightest reference or name drop to the Tates, you realize he probably thinks you shouldn’t even be speaking when not spoken to. Additionally, having to psychoanalyze everything in a conversation and constantly trying to read between the lines has impeded playful banter. I also admit to the very embarrassing example of when a man says, “I love Jordan Peterson” and I agree, thinking we are being firtatiously sarcastic, only to realize he is being totally serious when he asks me what the word “misogyny” means.

Even beyond the sphere of conversation in dating, sex and sexual shame has also been impacted by masculinist gurus. The age-old conversation of how the porn industry normalizes and fetishizes aspects of sexual violence and female subjugation for the male gaze has now been superseded by Tate’s direct normalization and advocation for female sexual degradation and abuse.

during foreplay and I bet you would be shocked by the number of people who say it’s so normal that it’s almost obligatory. Now, while that might not be directly oppressive, it still contributes to a culture focusing on male domination in the bedroom.

Although male domination during sex may simply be just a social symptom of millennia of patriarchy, celebrities who are deifed based on upholding repressive values will have further impacts. Who’s to say what the next version of the playful choke is? With pop culture becoming radicalized, I wouldn’t doubt overt, sexual and non-consensual male domination to follow suit, particularly as the young generations of TikTok kids become sexually active.

This isn’t to say that dating, men or sex need to be sworn off. Although the dating feld has changed and new litmus tests for partners are required, I try not to allow advances from men who gain security in their lives by denigrating women’s autonomy as the oppressive force it aims to be. Instead, I hope to fnd renewed communion with women and establish strongholds of support as we are forced to fortify our status as equally alpha. Ultimately, I hope we all fnd refuge from sexual shame in each other, and not in a hollow, Tate-esque cult of personality.

Even men who do not ascribe to these channels and condemn the fgureheads are not immune to the subliminal domination sex “commands”. Though it may not swing to the extremes, just ask the people in your life their thoughts about choking or a hand on her throat

Dating, sex, relationships and general social interactions have changed since the fanaticism, or even just subliminal infuence, of the machohustle mentality and with it, a new wave of outright misogyny.

The age-old conversation of how the porn industry normalizes and fetishizes aspects of sexual violence and female subjugation for the male gaze has now been superseded by Tate’s direct normalization and advocation for female sexual degradation and abuse.

Humans of McMaster: Julio Diaz

can reduce stigma, specifcally in young men who have sex with men when it comes to HIV and in pursuing preventative measures like pre-exposure prophylaxis, a medication taken to prevent the spread of HIV. Right now, the other focus is on creating awesome events that people want to come to where we help spread accurate, up-to-date information about the virus. We’re also going to continue hosting fundraisers and we have an upcoming research symposium which is a great opportunity to learn about where the research is now.

What are the goals that CANFAR has for the future?

Esther Liu HoM Staff Writer

Julio Diaz is a Multimedia Assistant at the Silhouette

The Silhouette: Please introduce yourself.

Julio Diaz: I’m Julio Diaz. I’m a second-year health sciences student.

You’re a member of CANFAR. Can you tell us what that is?

CANFAR at McMaster [University] is a chapter of a larger organization called CANFAR. It stands for the Canadian Foundation for AIDS Research. We raise money for HIV/AIDS research through fundraisers. They also provide bursaries for [graduate students] who are doing research. With that comes a lot of advocacy. At the university level, we fnd different ways to educate people about what HIV is as a virus but also as a social phenomenon. Generally, to do that, we look more at how HIV presents itself in 2023 rather than where it began.

What do you do?

I am public relations for CANFAR. Art is very important to me; it’s a way that I teach people about HIV through a lens that I enjoy. That means making graphics for CANFAR like designing their logo and the website. I do that with another person, Izma. Our goal is to make sure that we present information about HIV to the public in a way that is accurate, well thought out and considerate of student identities.

Could you elaborate on the focus on the presence of HIV/AIDS in 2023 rather than its past?

The way I see it is what is happening now with HIV is different from what it was before. In the 1980s, it was a lot more stigmatized. It was more of an issue that people see with homosexual men, which

really meant men who have sex with men. However, there were other demographics in the 1980s that were heavily affected by it like intravenous drug users and sex workers. As we get to 2023, we see that the people affected are very diverse . . . It’s recognizing that other demographics have always existed and beginning to focus attention on them. It’s about making sure that everyone gets the information that they need, knows the best ways to prevent the chance of transmission and steps to take if they are at risk.

We want to get self-testing kits out to the hands of the people at the university. It’s a part of a research study that CANFAR is involved with and it would make testing a lot more accessible. Literature that I’ve read shows that self-testing can reduce stigma, specifcally in young men who have sex with men when it comes to HIV and in pursuing preventative measures like pre-exposure prophylaxis, a medication taken to prevent the spread of HIV. Right now, the other focus is on creating awesome events that people want to come to where we help spread accurate, up-to-date information about the virus. We’re also going to continue hosting fundraisers and we have an upcoming research symposium which is a great opportunity to learn about where the research is now.

What inspired you to join CANFAR?

I was reading memoirs and educational literature about HIV and how it had impacted the queer community. It’s a very large issue as queer people have been targeted violently and that still resonates today with homophobia, transphobia and other forms of discrimination against the LGBTQ community. In reading about that, I knew that I wanted to get involved in some way at McMaster with HIV — that’s when I found CANFAR. It’s been a perfect ft for me in terms of fulflling a lot of those desires I had when I was reading those memoirs and being emotionally impacted by the stories of gay men in their short time here.

What would you like to see in the future of CANFAR?

It’s a part of a research study that CANFAR is involved with and it would make testing a lot more accessible. Literature that I’ve read shows that self-testing

A change that I would love to see is to talk more about sex. It’s still a huge mode of transmission, specifcally sex between men. That is still a huge demographic impacted here . . . People are quick to think that this is an issue of the past. Because men who have sex with men, intravenous drug users and others are in the McMaster community, it’s important to me that they know that this is still an issue that we need to be thinking about and take steps to protect ourselves. I just want to share what’s out there so that people can take those steps. It’s important to not dismiss the fact that, though we have made strides forward, it still impacts people here.

“As we get to 2023, we see that the people afected are very diverse . . . It’s recognizing that other demographics have always existed and beginning to focus atention on them. It’s about making sure that everyone gets the information that they need, knows the best ways to prevent the chance of transmission and steps to take if they are at risk.”

Julio Diaz Public Relations, CANFAR McMaster

Julio Diaz/Multimedia Assistant

The intersections between love, sex, health and the facets of our identities

relationships, sexuality and well-being.

Intersectionality

is an inevitable result of the fact that people’s identities are multidimensional. A term coined by law professor and advocate Kimberlé Crenshaw, intersectionality refects how different aspects of who we are — from race to gender, sexual orientation to religion and disability to socioeconomic status — infuence our lived experiences. In recognition of this fact and to honour these stories, we have asked our communities to share how identities intersect and shape our unique encounters with love, sex and health in this year’s Sex and the Steel City

Growing up in a rather conservative South Korean household, I rarely engaged in conversations around love, sex and health, particularly mental health, with my family. I recall talking my mom about what I learned during health class in elementary school. The look of alarm and shock on her face when I said the word, masturbation, in front of her for the frst time forbid me from saying it again so openly.

In another instance when I was visiting family in South Korea, my dad shot me a sharp, disapproving frown at my spaghetti strap tank top. I remember a wave shame took over as he told me to go change into something more appropriate for a young girl.

Developing a healthy relationship and mindset around love, sex and health took a long time, especially as I learned to accept our differences and overcome my family’s cultural views and biases around these conversations. It probably wasn’t until my senior years of high school when I began to speak more vulnerably about my experiences with these topics. It was all due to the friends, teachers and communities that taught me not be afraid to speak up and made me feel validated.

This is why spaces like Sex and the Steel City where people can freely and openly share stories and deliberate on these so-called taboo topics are important. This year’s theme, intersectionality, was inspired in part by my upbringing and experiences but also in recognition of the fact many others also understand how different systems of oppression and aspects of identity affect how we view

Table Of Contents

This issue is home to intimate, perhaps what many may consider controversial, special stories. I want to thank everyone, including the Silhouette staff, who contributed their perspective, artwork and narratives to create this wonderful issue. I’m honoured and grateful for the folks who entrusted me and gave me permission to share their thoughts and experiences with the rest of the McMaster community.

To you, dear reader, I hope this issue can serve as a space to explore, (un)learn and reimagine what love, sex and health can look and feel like. There aren’t enough pages in this issue to capture all the different stories of intersectionality and love and I acknowledge there are missing voices in this issue. However, I hope you fnd and resonate with at least one memorable artwork, image, article, sentence or word while reading this issue — I hope we made an impact on you. Additionally, if you see a gap in the missing pages that you can fll;, it’s also not too late to contribute to us.

Jelena Vermilion is working to put an end to stigmatization of sex workers in Canada

The urgent need to address the ongoing discrimination, hate and violence against sex workers

about combating stigma, providing a space of solace for people who are in the sex industry to come to arrest us and particularly for street by sex workers who maybe don’t have access to shelter,” said Vermilion.

to such an extent, that she had to relearn how to walk after the attack. SWAP had come together to raise $9,000 for her and held a vigil to draw attention to the injustice.

“The idea that their work is less valuable and therefore their lives are less viable, it’s refected in the violence against sex workers,” said Vermilion.

Abonti Nur Ahmed A&C Reporter

cw: sexual assualt

As one of 25 groups in Canadian Alliance for Sex Work Law Reform, they are challenging the current laws surrounding sex work in Canada. It’s on the basis that current laws violate a sex worker’s rights to life, liberty and security. This violation can be observed in laws that criminalize communication pertaining to the sale of sex, which directly affects sex workers. Ultimately, the goal is to give sex workers the same liberties as other workers.

Some of the violence against sex workers can be attributed to the fact people don’t fully understand the scope of sex work. Blinded by “whorephobia”, the pervasive fear and hate towards sex workers, they don’t see the gifts sex work can provide — everything from company and comfort to a sense of belonging. Thhese can be invaluable to folks who don’t feel fulflled in these aspects of their lives. Vermilion shared how easily some people simply just crave the company of another person, whether that be in a sexual or non-sexual manner.

Jelena

Vermilion, executive director of Sex Workers’ Action Program Hamilton, works to take an active stance against the negative treatment that sex workers face. As a sex worker of 10 years, she understands the complexity of sex work and how easily people are stigmatized for partaking in it. This year her work is being recognized as a 2023 Young Women’s Christian Association of Canada Women of Distinction nominee.

SWAP was created as a place where people could come together as a community in a safe space. The space on Barton Street educates people on topics such as pre-exposure prophylaxis, an HIV prevention medication. The organization advocates for the better treatment of people working within the sex industry by speaking at conferences and leading workshops for businesses and organizations in Hamilton. SWAP at its core aims to support sex workers and every challenge they may entail — whether that be through education or direct action.

“I think having a space is mostly

“There’s not really an opportunity of equal advantage or an equal foundation that people who are in the sex trade can have as business people. When we’re talking about accessing legal services [or] higher education . . . there’s so much stigma that permeates society,” said Vermilion.

The response from the Hamilton community to SWAP’s physical space has been both positive and negative. Those who have supported SWAP feel like neighbours who look after one another. On the other hand there have been multiple people who haven’t been very approving of SWAP either intentionally or from a degree of misunderstanding. Vermilion noted there was even an instance when people who did not support the organization shooed away those trying to use SWAP resources.

However, the violence didn’t surprise Vermilion as the sex industry is heavily stigmatized. She shared the story of a 46-year-old sex worker who had been violently assaulted in an alleyway in Hamilton. The woman had been beaten up

“In essence, sex work is love . . . At the end of the day, the clients who are coming to see sex workers, often I say, they’re lonely, you know, they’re not getting what they need at home or they’re not getting what they need in their own lives — day to day in their private lives. And so they seek the services of a sex worker to cuddle, to have conversations with, to be listened to, to be witnessed, to be heard,” said Vermilion.

PHOTO C/O YWCA Hamilton

“I think having a space is mostly about combating stigma, providing a space of solace for people who are in the sex industry to come to arrest us and particularly for street by sex workers who maybe don’t have access to shelter.”

Jelena Vermilion Executive Director, SWAP Hamilton

“The idea that their work is less valuable and therefore their lives are less viable, it’s refected in the violence against sex workers.”

Jelena Vermilion Executive Director, SWAP Hamilton

“They seek the services of a sex worker to cuddle, to have conversations with, to be listened to, to be witnessed, to be heard.”

Jelena Vermilion Executive Director, SWAP Hamilton

Mela Swayze’s new book encourages selfdiscovery and refection on gender

Gender Remix approaches the topic of gender in an inquisitive and supportive manner

to process. . . Having a bit of structure to guide you in bite sized pieces helps people to digest and process a little more easily,” said Swayze.

the difference, but feeling as though they have the option if they feel comfortable doing so.

Gender is a complex aspect of one’s identity, leading people to great lengths of self-discovery. The complexity of such an identity can be daunting and often hard to navigate. The work of Mela Swayze, a consultant, educator and writer of Gender Remix, aims to help people better understand and connect with their gender identity.

The goal of the workbook is to help guide those who are looking into their own identity, whether that be with a coach, a therapist or alone. In December 2022 all of the proceeds from the book went to Speqtrum Hamilton, an organization that supports queer youth in Hamilton.

“Gender Remix is a workbook that [is] designed for people who are trans, non-binary, gender diverse or otherwise exploring their gender. . . It has resources exercises [and] writing prompts, so it’s defnitely designed for those who like self-refection [and] those who like a good journal prompt,” said Swayze.

The workbook has a journal-like design to encourage self-refection. It goes chapter by chapter to communicate the

The process of creating the workbook was based heavily on the work Swayze has done with their own clients and through workshops. To them, it was important to have the workbook be from lived experiences of many people rather than having their own set of rules dictate the journey.

They found that over the course of their work, folks exploring their gender had similar overarching topics. These topics became focuses in the workbook, with an emphasis on self-refecting rather simply being told how one should feel.

“The work with trans and gender diverse clients defnitely informed the creation of the workbook rather than vice versa,” said Swayze.

The response from the community has been very encouraging. They’ve had coaches, therapists and organizations all commend the workbook and actively use it in their own practice. Swayze also noted someone in Colorado Springs purchased the workbook, following the shooting that occurred in a 2SLGBTQIA+ club in the area. They found it to be very meaningful that the workbook could support people in moments of crisis.

Every person is entitled to their own story. Swayze believes understandings one’s gender identity is an important aspect to receiving and being open to experiencing love. Ultimately, by having one’s own support system through self-exploration, it can encourage self-acceptance and love. It isn’t telling others that makes

“It’s a lot easier to receive love when we are being our true selves in the world, whatever that is and whatever that means to you. It doesn’t mean necessarily that you’re the type of person who wants to shout your identity from a rooftop, but even small disclosures to a partner or a close friend or a queer chosen family can be really meaningful,” said Swayze.

Gender identity is something that varies for every single person, sometimes without support the journey to fnd one-

idea of gender as something that isn’t so binary. The book is also accessible and compatible with assistive devices.

Swayze believes initiatives like Gender Remix are a way to give structure at a time when someone may be overwhelmed. Though it may not be for everyone, they found that many of their own clients discovered solace in quite a few of the included information within the workbook. Additionally, they hope that with workbooks like this, more people will see that they aren’t alone in this realm of self-discovery.

“For some people who might be at the beginning of exploring their gender identity, it can be a lot to digest and a lot

self can become daunting. Though everyone occupies gender differently, Swayze introduces a stepping stone that can support someone who is learning more about themselves. The hope is that by understanding and accepting the nuances of gender identity, people can feel safer in their own bodies.

“Gender Remix . . . has resources exercises [and] writing prompts, so it’s defnitely designed for those who like selfrefection [and] those who like a good journal prompt.”

Mela Swayze Author, Gender Remix

“It’s a lot easier to receive love when we are being our true selves in the world, whatever that is and whatever that means to you. It doesn’t mean necessarily that you’re the type of person who wants to shout your identity from a rooftop, but even small disclosures to a partner or a close friend or a queer chosen family can be really meaningful.”

Mela Swayze Author, Gender Remix

PHOTO C/O Carly McLeod

Abonti Nur Ahmed

A&C Reporter

Why my dating experiences end poorly & what I’ve learned from them

Dating is all about perspective and a journey of self-discovery

Andrew Mrozowski Executive Editor

Valentine’s Day is often portrayed as the most romantic day of the year. It’s supposed to be a day to celebrate love and show appreciation for your signifcant other, but what about for those who don’t have a partner or who have just gone through a breakup?

My dating life has been a . . . turbulent experience to say the least.

that night, I knew a breakup was imminent (maybe I’m a psychic?). Now that it’s been almost a year, I like to joke and say that it was the spirits playing tricks on me.

The relationship was largely long distance, with spurts of in-person periods throughout the school year. While that took a bit of a toll on me, I think I became comfortable not always seeing someone. I recognized that space is important. Now, that doesn’t mean that I didn’t always want to see him, but I was okay knowing that there would be many times I couldn’t. That’s what happens when two people live two busy lives. I have remained very close friends with this person and I wouldn’t have changed a single thing about the time we spent together. Yes, we both made some mistakes, but we’re both human. I’ve forgiven myself for those mistakes and I’m grateful I got to keep the benefts of having this person in my life.

felt a tad led on, but I didn’t blame him — he was trying to start his life in Toronto, why would he want to be tied down so early on? He was the frst guy I really had spoken to since my last long-term relationship and I learned what it was like to start dating again.

Next was someone who I had spoken to at the beginning of COVID who I matched with online. We reconnected and went on a couple dates. Things didn’t necessarily end, but more or less fzzled out. I’m not really sure if there was a lesson associated with this, but it was nice to reconnect with someone who I genuinely admire.

Since May 2022, I’ve dated, or at least been on dates with, fve men. Some of them were real heart breakers, some of them ended mutually, some of them I still feel like they were “the one that got away” (cue Katy Perry on Apple Music).

I will not discredit the pain that I have endured with some of them, nor will I discredit how happy others made me. Neither outweigh the other, nor were some more meaningful than others. As cliché as it sounds, each dating encounter was a learning experience and it made me stronger, even if it didn’t feel like it at the time. It pushed me onto a new path and has helped me on the path to self-discovery.

You might be sitting there thinking, “okay, so this guy is trauma dumping for his beneft,” but I will politely disagree. I am trauma dumping hopefully for YOUR beneft. The through line of my dating experiences is that I learned so much about myself. I’ve learned what I like and what I dislike in relationships and the infamous “situationship”. I’ve learned about the types of people I thrive with and I’ve learned about the types of people who I don’t necessarily jive with. I’ve been able to form strong bonds, but they didn’t always necessarily last. Every experience — and every man — was unique, different from the last.

Over the summer of 2022, I took some time for myself and went back home, since that’s the one place where I feel I can have my guard down and focus. I took the time to focus on my health, shedding 30 pounds of what I had deemed my “relationship weight”, focused on my passions, hobbies and relearned what it meant to support myself. I had a lot of support from the established people in my life, but also others who were new. Many of my new work colleagues were quick to offer advice, support or their ear to what I was going through — and to those individuals, I will always be grateful for that.

Around October 2022, I got a message on a dating app from another person, who I thought was interesting. He somehow felt different than the men I dated in the past, so I was intrigued. We went on a few dates, but he told me that he wasn’t really looking for anything at the moment. By that point, that phrase kind of took a toll on my mental health. Why was nobody wanting to pursue something with me? It took a lot of refection to realize that it wasn’t me, rather just the situations I kept fnding myself in.

In May 2022, I got out of my second long-term relationship with someone who I adored. I remember the exact date because it happened on the only “Friday the 13th” in 2022 (go fgure something bad would happen on that day). We just went on a ghost walk at the Hermitage Ruins (which by the way, if you haven’t been, defnitely check it out because it’s SO creepy). The entire night I could tell something was off and when we got home later

I eventually re-downloaded the typical dating apps and started to explore who was out there. The frst person who I instantly connected moved from England literally a few weeks before we started talking. I was smitten even though he wasn’t a monarchist. Things were going well, until he told me that he didn’t want a relationship. I was a little hurt because I

One day in November, I was scrolling through Instagram and I came across someone who I had a crush on since my second-year. I decided to shoot my shot and message him. To my surprise, he messaged back and we ended up dating for a month and a half. I don’t think I felt as infatuated with someone since my longterm relationship. I would also confdently say that I had some of the best dates I’ve ever been on were with him. Unfortunately, this one also didn’t work out. Although it wasn’t a break up because we weren’t ofcially in a relationship, it sure as hell felt like one. Let me tell you, it was HARD at some points. In hindsight, I realized that I wasn’t really ready for a relationship either.

Around the same time we started dating, I started therapy for the second time in my life. I was feeling incredibly anxious in all aspects of my life and I know constantly hearing the line “I don’t want a relationship right now but you’re a really great guy” was triggering for me. As ironic as it was, his reason for ending things was also how I was feeling for a while. After talking things over with my mother and my therapist, I came to the realization that I felt my chapter in Hamilton was also nearing its end.

I have some regrets about this one. I let some of the interactions with the pre-

“My dating life has been a . . . turbulent experience to say the least.”

“Every experience — and every man — was unique, diferent from the last.”

“I’ve forgiven myself for those mistakes and I’m grateful I got to keep the benefts of having this person in my life.”

“It took a lot of refection to realize that it wasn’t me, rather just the situtations I kept fnding myself in.”

“Many of my new work colleagues were quick to ofer advice, support or their ear to what I was going through — and to those individuals, I will always be grateful for that.

vious men I dated shape how I perceived the actions of this boy. My past with men not wanting a relationship bled into my present, which caused me to doubt both of our actions and created a self-fulflling prophecy. With that said, I’m so happy I pushed myself outside of my comfort zone and slid into his DMs. It was an absolute pleasure getting to know this in-

dividual for the month and a half we dated and for the little bit we talked after. While I’m sad that we couldn’t be friends in the end, it taught me a valuable lesson. Just because things started off great, doesn’t mean they are always going to work out in the end. That’s okay and doesn’t have to be a bad thing. I learned a lot with this one and I will always be thankful for those shared experiences.

And here we are now, February 2023. I’ve once again reconnected with someone who I talked to at the start of the pandemic and we’ve hung out a few times. I’ve also applied to some Master’s programs outside of Hamilton so I can gain new experiences and start my next chapter. I’ve continued therapy and have questioned what is in my control and outside of my control. Rethinking many of the stresses

and anxieties in my life through this lens have immensely reshaped my mental and emotional state for the better. I’m once again relearning who I am and what I want both out of life and in a relationship context. I don’t think I’m ready for a longterm relationship, nor do I want one at the moment. I want to focus on myself, maybe go on some dates and meet new people along the way. I would not have come to these realizations if it wasn’t for every single person I dated over the last year. There were a couple in particular who especially shaped my trajectory and they know who they are.

I wouldn’t say that things ended overtly well with anybody, but it is all a matter of perspective. Of course, hindsight is 2020 but I’m not the kind of guy to be bitter about things ending. I strive to end things amicably to seek closure. Reshaping my perspectives on what I initially perceived as “bad dating experiences” and shifting them to learning experiences helped me fnd that closure.

My hope after reading this article is that if you are in a slump about your dating life — whether you’re queer, straight or anything in between or outside — that you take the time you need to self-refect and question why you are feeling the way you are. What I want you to take away is that you are still you and you have just learned so much about the person you are supposed to be in the end. Each person we encounter in our lives helps us self-actualize our own potential. It took me a long time to get myself to that perspective and I don’t think you’ll get there overnight. But hopefully with time, you will be able to refect on your past experiences with people be able to fnd some sort of inner peace that for better or for worse, that person has changed your life and made you the incredibly resilient person you are today.

“I came to the realization that I felt my chapter in Hamilton was also nearing its end.”

“I would not have come to these realizations if it wasn’t for every single person I dated over the last year. There were a couple in particular who especially shaped my trajector and they know who they are.”

Turns Out We’re Alright After All

Miguel Sibal

As the red wine takes over my father’s tales, I am once again grateful of this family

I see every youthful spirit run through his veins, steers his lips towards a distant memory of invigoration and whim

I see his heart fnd the foor of his past, running along the same sun-cracked tiles of the compound, face bright and feet blackened with grime

I do not know the names of the same old faces he describes, but the light of his smile brings them to this table

Together, our necks sunburnt from the Manila eye, slick with sweat from the July heat, surrounded by Christmas lights and Chardonnay

My father is beautiful

There are so many words but none more true than beautiful

As my sister and I are brought closer to ourselves, back to every little thing on this side of Heaven

At the best of our years and only getting better, soaking in this afterglow of love and timeless tradition

In this past reality of stories, etched into an outline of nostalgia on his face that resembles my refection

We are family and my father is beautiful

There are so many words but my father is beautiful

ARTWORK BY YOOHYUN PARK

ARTWORK BY VICKY LIN

The clash of the sexual liberation movement and the Madonna-Whore complex

How the Madonna-Whore complex never left society after all despite the sexual revolution

female sexuality and social norms. What failed to be mentioned was whether the pill complicated racist degradation of Black fertility, evoking several campaigns to promote sexist norms within Black communities and degrade Black childbearing.

Black women were given the opportunity to gain control over their reproductive rights more than ever before, so why the criticism towards the pill? From the early 1900s to 1970s, many states supported the false idea of eugenics, stating that Black people are biwologically less intelligent than white people, often denoted as “scientifc racism”.

cw: hypersexualization of women, mistreatment of women, racism

The sexual liberation movement began with the implementation of oral birth control pills in the United States, allowing for a drastic increase in female post-secondary graduates and careers. The benefts of easily accessible contraception were huge, but criticism can be given for the uprising in hypersexualizing of women seen in the media, notably Playboy magazines.

The infamous rise of Hugh Hefner and his Playboy Mansion dominated the 60s sexual revolution of discarding the feminized norm of the “housewife” and embracing sex. The rise of Playboy was arguably one of the most infuential marketing moves of the century. The company created an outlet for women to embrace sexual liberation after a puritan and sexually repressed America which was dominated by the Madonna-Whore complex proposed by psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud.

The psychological dichotomy in Freud’s male patients essentially states women must be seen as either chaste and virginal or promiscuous and forthcoming; but never both. The great America prior to Playboy ostracized alleged sexual deviants and Hefner broke this ideology and challenged social restrictions. Playboy encouraged women to eradicate the norms of purity and to strive to become, for lack of better terms, sexual objects.

Yes, Hefner encouraged women to express their sexual nature and reach

beyond the prudish nature of social norms, but here is the main critique to the evolution of the sexual revolution: the movement “revolutionized” women as sexual objects but it grotesquely presented women as exactly that. Women were now reduced to objects separate to that of their own sexual desires, creating an even more restricted role to be confned to. After the publication of this reformed ideology, the market turned women’s bodies into a proftable business.

Despite a lack of scientifc evidence to support Black inferiority, Black women were often sterilized regardless. So given the time period of the rise of eugenics and birth control, oral contraception was seen as a weapon against Black fertility as opposed to mere liberation and sexual endorsement towards predominantly white women.

The question is whether Hefner’s infuence was for the greater good or greater evil. Playboy reconstructed social norms to create a sexual revolution for women and he was an open supporter of the civil rights and queer rights movements. However, the company was inherently misogynist and normalized the objectifcation of women and at large, it was established for the beneft of men. In fact, former playmate Sondra Theodore had described the abuse of the sedative Quaaludes used for sex under the codename “thigh openers”.

Aside from pure pornographic material, female sexual imagery leaked through to clothing, cosmetic and most famously, fragrance industries because ultimately, sex sells. But how this sexual imagery plays a role in what sexuality entails?

Take Eva Mendes in the Calvin Klein Secret Obsession Ad or Victoria’s Secret in how embracing sexuality has its limitations based upon physical appearances. These advertisements show a woman who is not fully nude, yet still exposes herself entirely, containing the innocence centered around male dominated femininity — the epitome of the Madonna-Whore complex.

The Madonna-Whore complex and the idea surrounding sexual liberation targets white women at its core. Birth control pills in the early 1960s allowed for women to gain bodily autonomy with the freedom of choice and sparked the discussion of

Women are surrounded by sexuality in modern times. Much about sexual liberation is empowering and allows for reproductive control, but in another lens, the media perpetuates a sexually appealing standard for women to fulfll. Hugh Hefner advocated for supposed liberal feminism when mainstream society emphasized bachelorhood and promiscuity in opposition to the 1950s suburban dream. Nearly 70 years later, the Madonna-Whore complex continues to dictate internal misogyny: a spectrum of debauchery and chastity with no in-between.

JULIO DIAZ/MULTIMEDIA ASSISTANT

The movement “revolutionized” women as sexual objects but it grotesquely presented women as exactly that.

Venus Osmani SATSC Contributor

Disabled people lead rich, sexual lives too

Breaking down the myths about disability and sexuality through an intersectional lens

Anna Samson SATSC Contributor

Recently in mainstream discourse, there has been more discussion surrounding intersectionality and understanding that racialized folks can also be queer. While this is a critical discussion, it should not end there.

Many disabled people are also queer but due to ableist notions of disability and pervasive inaccessibility in society, many people may not notice or interact with disabled people in their daily lives. This means perceived understandings of disabled people are limited to viewing them through just their disabilities and not accounting for their additional identities. Viewing disabled folks through an intersectional lens reveals there are many racialized and queer disabled people out there.

When thinking of love and sexuality, disabled people don’t usually come up. Robert McRuer, one of the founding scholars of queer disability studies, stated: “Although stereotypes of the oversexed disabled person engaged in unspeakable acts do exist, disabled people are more commonly positioned as asexual — incapable of or uninterested in sex.”

Many people think disabled folks don’t have sex or don’t care about sex and this belief is purported further through the exclusion of disabled folks in sexual spaces, including sex-positive spaces. In reality, many people from disabled Queer, Trans, Black, Indigenous, People of Colour communities are sexually active and lead rich, sexual lives. They can have all sorts of sex ranging from vanilla to kinky, including bondage, discipline/dominance, sadism and masochism.

their desires and connections with other people.

However, it is also important to note disabled people can be asexual, but their sexual orientation is not impacted by their disability. One’s sexual orientation is determined by the sexual attraction one feels towards one or more genders which includes asexuality. Asexuality is a spectrum, meaning those who identify as asexual may experience no sexual attraction, minimal sexual attraction and sexual attraction that fuctuates between little to none.

Like other 2SLGBTQIA+ identities, every person who identifes with any given identity may experience it uniquely, meaning there is no one way to be queer and gender and sexuality are not binary concepts. Disabled people can be queer in a multitude of ways, even having multiple queer identities as per their individual relationships to gender, sexuality, romance, culture and more.

PARK/MULTIMEDIA COORDINATOR

Similar to asexuality, disability is also a spectrum. There are many kinds of disability: physical disabilities, intellectual or learning disabilities, psychiatric disabilities, visual impairments, hearing impairments and neurological disabilities. Many disabled people also have comorbidities, meaning they have more than one disability or condition. This can happen for several reasons including, overlapping risk factors, one condition causing or affecting another, or they can occur randomly. Some may experience one condition worse than another.

Additionally, many symptoms of conditions can fuctuate from day to day, meaning a disabled person’s abilities can vary depending on the severity of their symptoms at the time. All these aspects together prove each disabled person’s experience is unique and disability is not a monolith.

Deeming disabled people inherently asexual, the sexual orientation associated with experiencing a lack of sexual attraction, due to their disability is ableist and could not be further from the truth. Sexuality is an important aspect of personhood and plays a role in most people’s lives, regardless of ability. Many disabled people have fulflling romantic and sexual lives.

Some may also assume disabled people are only sexually active with other disabled people; but this is not the case. Disabled people can be in consensual sexual relationships with anyone. Just like non-disabled people, the main contributing factors in forming relationships are

Disabled people can be queer in a multitude of ways, even having multiple queer identities as per their individual relationships to gender, sexuality, romance, culture and more.

Asexuality is an identity often misunderstood and excluded within the 2SLGBTQIA+ communities because unlike sexual attraction that differs from heteronormativity (lesbian, gay, bisexual, etc.), it explores experiencing little to no sexual attraction which may be difcult for other queer groups to understand. Despite being documented throughout history, asexuality was not spoken of in mainstream discourse until more recently.

While disability does not determine one’s sexual orientation, it can impact their sexuality. A disabled person’s varying symptoms can determine whether they want to have sex. For instance, someone with chronic pain may be able to have sex on a low-pain day but not on a high-pain day or only in certain positions. Additionally, an autistic person may not be able to have sex if they are experiencing sensory overstimulation. Furthermore, a paraplegic person may need specifc props or adjustments to have sex. There is also the risk for sexual trauma due to ableism which can affect sex as disabled people are more likely to experience sexual violence.

An intersectional perspective of love and sexuality includes disabled people (including QTBIPOC disabled folks). Disabled people participate in and enjoy sex just as much as non-disabled folks. It’s important to actively make intersectional spaces accessible for disabled people. Remember, in addition to queer and racialized folks, intersectionality also means considering disability.

YOOHYUN

In reality, many people from disabled Queer, Trans, Black, Indigenous, People of Colour communities are sexually active and lead rich, sexual lives.

The importance of being confdent in your body

explained McCrindle.

Michelle Li A&C Staff Writer

Everyone says love is beyond your looks. But this is often easier said than done for many of us who struggle with our body image, particularly in a world of social media.

Body image tends to be connected to self-worth. Being in relationships often causes us to feel vulnerable and self-conscious about our bodies. In some cases, it prevents people from seeking out relationships as they tend to magnify the difculties and insecurities they may have.

“You can’t love someone else until you love yourself frst,” is a common saying we have heard many times — but is this true? This study from 2016 concluded people who were happier with their body tend to have better romantic relationships compared to those who were dissatisfed. Individuals who struggled with their body image reported having more anxious and fearful attachment styles. Overall, though, of the 12,176 participants in the study, only 24 per cent of men and 20 per cent of women reported being satisfed with their appearance.

Katie McCrindle is a registered social worker, body liberation counsellor and activist who works with women and non-binary folks to improve their relationship with themselves. She aspires to create a world where people of all sizes are confdent and are in a place of self-acceptance.

“If they’re not feeling worthy, or good, then they start to doubt the relationship,”

Once they start to become unconfdent, their thoughts can spiral down a rabbit hole as it causes them to feel displeased about their bodies and themselves in general. This is especially prominent during intimate moments when people are especially vulnerable and exposed.

“Especially when people are contemplating having sex, I think that is a huge part that impacts body image and how you feel about yourself [by] being in that vulnerable position. It’s vulnerable to being naked in front of somebody,” said McCrindle.

Having low self-confdence in their

appearance can make people more anxious in their relationship and fear that their partner will leave them. The main reason for this may be due to societal pressures and social media.

On social media, the “ideal” woman is curvy with full lips, perfect skin, white teeth and tanned skin. For men, the “ideal” is to have abs, broad shoulders, be over 6 feet and have defned muscles. Realistically, only very few individuals can check off all of these — and that is okay.

Body positivity is important because not only will it improve everyone’s self-confdence, but it will also strengthen everyone’s relationships, whether they are romantic or not. In short, body positivity is accepting all bodies, no matter their race, size, gender or anything else.

“I usually start with body image. [I help] people to learn more self-compassion for those kinds of thoughts and feelings about [their] body because it’s pretty normal to have difcult emotions about one’s body,” said McCrindle.

It is okay if you can’t love everything about yourself. It takes time and patience, but it is important to remember that you will always be there for yourself.

“I usually start with body image. [I help] people to learn more selfcompassion for those kinds of thoughts and feelings about [their] body because it’s prety normal to have dificult emotions about one’s body,”

Katie McCrindle

Social Worker, Body Liberation Counsellor, Activist

Loving yourself and your body is one of the first step to a steady relationship with your

during relationships partner

“Especially when people are contemplating having sex, I think that is a huge part that impacts body image and how you feel about yourself [by] being in that vulnerable position. It’s vulnerable to being naked in front of somebody,”

Katie McCrindle Social Worker, Body Liberation Counsellor, Activist

Health promoter Madison Behr is helping students with sexual health

The Student Wellness Center strives to make sure students can be their healthiest selves possible.

Joleen Awad A&C Staff

The Student Wellness Centre is a great place to go on campus for anything regarding health and wellness, with their variety of services ranging from mental health counselling to medical care.

An integral part of the SWC are the health promoters who work hard to ensure that students have access to the resources they need to be their healthiest selves.

One of these health promoters is Madison Behr. Working with students has been a rewarding experience for Behr. Her primary role consists of focusing on sexual health and substance abuse programming. This role has allowed a lot of creativity and cooperation with other departments, giving her the opportunity to interact with others. She explained some of her favourite people to work with are the work-study students and the volunteer with the Wellness Outreach Teams.

Working with students has been a rewarding experience for Behr. Her primary role consists of focusing on sexual health and substance abuse programming. This role has allowed a lot of creativity and cooperation with other departments, giving her the opportunity to interact with others.

Behr described the various tasks with her role, including meeting with students and departments to organize and host events, interacting with students on campus and creating health promotion

Recently, the SWC has launched the #SexTalkTuesday campaign on social media to answer questions from students about sexual health and their Free Flow program, which gives out free menstrual products to students. Along with these programs, the SWC also has drop-in programs which hand out free condoms and lubes for students to practice safe

Behr aspires for students to fnd the SWC to be a safe and accommodating space to go when they need any type of health support.

“I hope students will walk away knowing that they

are cared for and that there are people on campus who are here to help if they are ever in need . . .[and] that there is a safe space for them at the SWC where they can feel comfortable and welcomed,” she said.

Behr also wanted to ensure students know to come to the SWC to access any services they need, especially for sexual health. The Wellness Lounge are also available as a free space for students to use. This space is also the base where health promoters operate if students wish to contact them.

The SWC is a great place to visit for any student’s health needs. Behr and her team at SWC want students to take advantage of the free resources and services they offer. If any students fnd themselves in need of health advice and assistance, the SWC health promoters hope that their organization is the frst thing to come to mind, while doing their best to help make university life easier with their programs and initiatives.

“I hope students will walk away knowing that they are cared for and that there are people on campus who are here to help if they are ever in need . . .[and] that there is a safe space for them at the SWC where they can feel comfortable and welcomed.”

Madison Behr SWC Health Promoter

PHOTO C/O Madison Behr

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McMaster athletes are all hands-on deck this Think Pink Week

McMaster sports teams and the Mac Athletes Care organization come together to raise money and awareness for breast cancer

Think Pink Week also featured two volleyball games on Jan. 18 and concluded with two basketball games on Jan. 21. A fundraising booth was available at every event, selling baked goods, t-shirts, pink ribbons and rafe tickets in support of the Canadian Cancer Society.

During the fnal men’s basketball game, fve student athletes cut and donated their hair during half time. The half-time show also featured an exciting performance from the Mac Dance Competitive Team.

Jenny Zhao Sports Staff Writer

Raising money for breast cancer is an annual tradition for McMaster University sports teams. After fundraising online for the past two years, McMaster’s Think Pink Week returned in-person this year from Jan. 16 to Jan. 21., making it even more remarkable with the diversity of teams involved.

At McMaster, sports teams can be organized at the U-Sports, Ontario University Athletics or club level. Competing within different governing bodies can mean different amounts of social media exposure and inclusion.

This Think Pink Week kicked off with several vibrant Instagram posts from McMaster sports teams at every level — from women’s basketball, track and feld, men’s soccer, women’s soccer, women’s rugby, to sailing, rowing, cheerleading, feld hockey, fgure skating and nordic ski.

The photoshoots were spearheaded by student leaders from the Mac Athletes Care organization. Think Pink Coordinator and women’s volleyball player, Christina Stratford, highlighted the importance of including so many Marauder teams.

“A lot of people have brought up how OUA and club teams don’t necessarily get as much representation [as U Sports teams], so [when organizing] the photoshoot, we sent it out to all the Instagrams and as many teams as possible,” explained Stratford.

The united social media presence from these teams resulted in over 1,000

Instagram likes. More importantly, this gesture opened the door for these players to get involved in fundraising booths throughout the week. The president of Mac Athletes Care and a women’s basketball player, Mia Spadafora, spoke with the Silhouette about creating opportunities for every athlete to get involved.

“People forget that men can also have breast cancer and get breast cancer. . . It’s important to have the men’s teams involved to show support but also to give them an opportunity to share their story if someone in their life or a loved one is suffering from this as well,” said Spadafora.

“We fgured it would be cool to have something going along with the haircutting, so having the dance team come out was a really unique experience and something that we’ll defnitely continue – whether it’s dance, or cheerleading or some other club – to include in those events because again, I think it brought out more engagement,” explained Stratford.

Although Think Pink Week has come to an end, the student athlete community continues to seek out leadership opportunities relating to health and advocacy.

PHOTO C/O ARIANNE SORIANO

“People forget that men can also have breast cancer and get breast cancer. . . It’s important to have the men’s teams involved to show support but also to give them an opportunity to share their story if someone in their life or a loved one is sufering from this as well.”

Mia Spadafora President, Mac Athletes Care

“We fgured it would be cool to have something going along with the haircuting, so having the dance team come out was a really unique experience and something that we’ll defnitely continue – whether it’s dance, or cheerleading or some other club – to include in those events because again, I think it brought out more engagement. ”

Christina Stratford Coordinator, Think Pink

Body positivity at the Pulse

Gym culture often emphasizes weight loss as its ultimate goal, but with the revitalization the Pulse, is body positivity possible?

Work out trends, diet fads and gym advertisements usually all portray the same message. The message being that ftness and health look a certain way. In many cases, the message is that one’s body needs to change.

To many people, public ftness areas reinforce this idea. Gyms can oftentimes become a place that causes people to compare themselves to others. Those who don’t ft society’s version of a healthy body may be left to feel uncomfortable in these situations.

McMaster’s newest iteration of the Pulse, a gym on campus, has brought in a wide array of new students. The new gym offers new spaces, new workout classes, and new equipment.

Many students have been enjoying the newly improved gym, including thirdyear student Amanda Round. She uses the Pulse on a regular basis.

“The physical benefts go without saying, but I like going with friends, it really helps with my mental health,” said Round.

The physical benefts and the social benefts of a university gym can be great motivators to pursue ftness. But this can be overshadowed due to lack of body

positivity amongst the ftness community, as well as uncomfortable feelings by students.

This problem can be identifed by many gym goers, including fourth year biochemistry student Justin Alvarado. Justin is also a part of the Pulse’s staff, but he identifes that the marketing for gyms can be very non-inclusive.

“As a whole, I don’t think the ftness industry is inclusive enough to all body sizes. While many gyms have improved the environment they create to become more inclusive, I believe more marketing is needed to cater to all body types and sizes,” said Alvarado.

The idea that the gym is a place to move your body and not just a place to lose weight or train to look a certain way may be more helpful in making the gym more inclusive. Though it seems that through time the ftness industry may be changing this idea.

“I have noticed a shift in ftness and gym media that doesn’t really touch upon body size and weight loss but instead highlights general benefts of the gym such as general physical and mental benefts as well as community,” said Alvarado.

With this in mind, it seems as though McMaster has also taken steps in the direction of working to make the gym more inclusive. There are now numerous workout classes, which may help students

to become more comfortable in the gym and with working out.

There is also an improved women’s only section, which can help female identifying students in feeling more comfortable using the gym. As gyms tend to be male dominated, these spaces can help these students in having a better attitude when attending the gym.

“I really like that they have a women’s section as well. I think that really helps get more women to the gym, especially those that don’t feel comfortable working out in a co-ed environment due to personal or cultural reasons,” said Round.

The Pulse has also dropped its old dress code. This can also be helpful in ideas of body positivity, as wearing what is most comfortable can help people in feeling confdent in the gym.

“I think it’s really important that people work out in what they’re comfortable with and what makes them feel empowered whether that’s a sports bra or being covered head to toe,” said Round.

Overall, it seems as though McMaster has taken strides in making the Pulse inclusive of all students. Though in order to make change in raising ideas of positivity, it seems it is up to students and the ftness industry to shift the mindset that ftness is a one size fts all mold.

Alyssa Wheeler Sports Staff Writer

PHOTO C/O NAVYA SHETH

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