The Silhouette - March 29

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McMASTER UNIVERSITY'S STUDENT NEWSPAPER / THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

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VOLUME 82, NO. 27

QUORUM REACHED MAC STUDENTS TURN OUT TO GENERAL ASSEMBLY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 17 YEARS, LEAVE AFTER PASSING ONE MOTION

RENEE VIERA / ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR

Over 650 students attended the annual MSU General Assembly, the largest turnout since 1995. The goal was to reach 601 students, 3 per cent of Mac students.

Dina Fanara

Assistant News Editor

It was brief, but it happened.

Reports from the back of the room gave a count of the flow of students into and out of Burridge Gym – 40 more to go, it said. Then 30. Then four, and then three. Finally, attendance at the McMaster Students Union’s General Assembly broke well over 600. The event had reached quorum for the first time in 17 years.

“I feel like, apart from winning the presidency, this was probably one of the best feelings I’ve ever had,” said the MSU’s president Matthew Dillon-Leitch following the event.

‘601’ had been plastered around the McMaster campus on walls, bulletins and t-shirts for weeks in advance. The number represented a mere three per cent of the McMaster undergraduate population, which was re-

While the vote was a slim but evident “yes,” at its conclusion, many opted to exit the gym rather than return to their seats, and quorum was lost after the vote was conducted.

“That’s just the unfortunate nature of General Assembly, is that you can lose and regain quorum at different times. I think you have to pick issues that students actually - MSU president Matthew Dillon-Leitch know about. If you don’t know what students want, that’s a problem,” said Dillon-Leitch.

The original motion suggested a fee of $120, but Dillon-Leitch amended it at the Asquired for votes at GA to matter. Attendance Welcome Week participation while having sembly to read $110 due to extra cost cutting.

Prior to the Welcome Week fee vote was hadn’t reached that level since 1995. the funds to support a bigger week.

A total of eight motions were brought for- It was for this vote that quorum was sus- a motion from the McMaster Marching Band, ward at the March 28 Assembly, though num- tained. The outcome was not obvious from a which was asking for a one-dollar-per-stubers only stayed up long enough for one vote count of pink pieces of card, held up by each dent levy. The motion had been moved to the to be binding. student voting either for or against the motion. top of the agenda at the outset of the meet The proposal, which was moved by Dil- MSU speaker Jeff Wyngaarden asked voters ing. Though the vote was in favour, quorum lon-Leitch, was to enforce a compulsory $110 to get up and stand at either side of the gym wasn’t reached until after the vote. fee to incoming first-year student in place of so that he and the elections committee could MacPass sales. The goal was to attract greater eyeball the crowds and determine a winner.

• PLEASE SEE SHORT-LIVED, A3

“For the first time in 17 years, we actually got people to make a decision, which I think is pretty cool”

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A2 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 29­, 2012

Teaching and Learning

Education at McMaster: A review

SILHOUETTE FILE PHOTO

History Kacper Niburski

Assistant News Editor

While McMaster has devoted copious funds to maintaining its education model, it has remained relatively unchanged for a hundred years. McMaster was founded in 1881 as Toronto Baptist College by William McMaster, the first president of the Canadian Bank of Commerce, who bequeathed a substantial amount of capital to finance the university.

Limiting the first programs to specializations in arts and theology, the first degrees were founded in 1894. In the dream of McMaster, the University was endowed as “a Christian school of learning.”

For the most part, this remained the character of McMaster. The early 19th century saw an expanding Baptist culture, and McMaster became a Christian mecca in the heart of Toronto. With its notoriety increasing, classes doubled, in-class education became more centralized upon a lecturing style developed at Harvard, and McMaster outgrew its physical boundaries.

As McMaster blossomed as an institute of higher learning, it began to lose its faith in more ways than one.

That is to say, much of the early theology and Baptist dogma that characterized McMaster’s nascent beginning was subjected to the scrutiny of a changing world, one that focused largely on the growth and progress of science. While by no means an existential crisis of grand proportion, McMaster saw the construction of the first Science Building in 1906, which spearheaded both a newfound appreciation of the field of science as well as

Current Status a list of degrees not previously offered in the academic year.

Yet despite the influx of novel studies, McMaster’s education model remained stagnant. As it does now, professors taught, students learned and the cycle of so-called higher education continued without end or sign of mitigating, even after McMaster relocated to Hamilton in 1930.

Much of this can be attributed to the Province’s mandate on higher education.

Considering that under the British North American Act responsibilities for universities rest in the government of the province it is located in, McMaster was incorporated under the Legislative Assembly of Ontario. To that end, McMaster has always been subjected to the wishes and machinations of the Province.

This, of course, is not a bad thing. Funding for research primarily comes from the University. Yet as a result, McMaster has continued along the same education current even after 1957, when McMaster became a publicly funded nondenominational society.

Some efforts have been made, though.

Flagship interdisciplinary programs like Arts and Science, Integrated Science and Health Sciences function contrary to the general university experience: there are small classes, close relationships with professors and a focus on independent learning.

With the much of the education renewal discussions looking at these pioneering programs, only time will tell whether or not education will move forward with integrity, as Deane wishes to, or instead just move forward, only to realize it has been walking backwards the whole time.

Farzeen Foda

Senior News Editor

The theme of 2012 in the post-secondary sphere has been the transformation of education. Much of this stems from the fact that the traditional model of post-secondary education, it seems, too often produces textbook thinkers that can read, memorize and regurgitate, which is hardly suitable to real-world settings.

McMaster’s Forward with Integrity initiative, inspired by president Patrick Deane, has attempted to rectify this by installing of various task forces charged with the mission of revitalizing education at McMaster University.

Students are pivotal to the project, and currently hold positions on the various task forces. Forums held throughout the year have sought to consolidate student suggestions about improving education at McMaster.

Nearing the end of the academic year, the task forces are still in the planning and brainstorming phase, but feedback from the student body thus far generally asks for more flexibility in education, noted Susan Denburg, chair of the Forward with Integrity initiative.

Some complaints have arisen, though.

Exposure to other faculties and departments may bring a better sense of cohesion, and while experiential learning and out-of-theclassroom experiences are central to education, each student has their own time constraints which are already strained with current levels of instructional hours. Therefore, ways to “build into rather than build on top” of current course structures is necessary, ex-

plained Denburg.

Much of the efforts to enhance the quality of post-secondary education centres around what students expect out of their education.

Many students attend university in order to secure employment upon graduation, and building on the undergraduate university experience through a hands-on approach that encourages cross-disciplinary thinking undoubtedly increases employability.

“I’m hoping to get a job after I finish school, and it’s frustrating to feel like even after four years of school, I don’t have any of the skills employers look for,” said Ankita Dubey, a fourth-year Psychology student.

This is common across universities. A study conducted by the Higher Education Quality Council of Ontario found that a mere 45 per cent of university students are prepared to graduate after their fourth year, and students surveyed cited that the only motivation to pursue a three-year degree would be to enter the workforce sooner.

That being said, the traditional model of education is in the process of transformation.

The finer details, however, remain to be determined. Meanwhile, students are aware that drilling content is not always the most effective learning strategy. “Some content is always very interesting and useful, however, content overload results in forgetting almost immediately after the exam, and that’s just money down the drain,” said Mark Vennare a fourthyear Biology student.

On April 4, The Forward With Integrity team will be holding a forum to share their insight and pose questions to the McMaster community to better inform their next steps.

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THE SILHOUETTE • A3

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

General Assembly

Short-lived, but GA surpasses 601 Quorum lost following Welcome Week motion to replace Travel Cuts in the Student Other motions were for a $0.35 Centre. There was some debate over fee in support of McMaster Musical After attendance dipped back who would own the store and how it Theatre, one for the MSU to officialbelow 601 – having peaked close to would be run, and the motion was ly recognize a Greek Life Council and one for 670 – the Assembly pressed on with ultimately re-written the MSU the agenda. to avoid Next up was a $5 campus to call for We marketed like crazy investing events fee that would fund a concert a cooperafor this, and for the in organto be held at McMaster’s Ron Joyce tive store, most part I think izations Stadium and would accommodate though not that that are inmore than 5,000 students. There one people were volved in would be no charge for the con- was run by passionate about this...” illegal milcert, and students would be able to the MSU. The itary occuvote on which genres of music they vote was pations. would like to see.

The third motion proposed a in support, but was not binding due Another motion suggested that the MSU president write a letter to push for an on-campus grocery store to the decreased attendence.

Premier Dalton McGuinty and the Minister of Training, Colleges and Universities Glen Murray to lower tuition fees and gift some money from each student loan as a grant.

The motions were generally successful, but the energy had left the room along with quorum.

Student leaders, though, were A Green Community for Students satisfied with breaking a trend of poorly attended General Assem• CONT’D FROM A1

blies.

“It was amazing. I didn’t think we were going to hit quorum, to be honest,” said Dillon-Leitch. “When we did make it, I don’t have much to say other than it was amazing.

“We marketed like crazy for

this, and for the most part I think people were passionate about this.

For the first time in 17 years, other than voting for a president, we actually got people to make a decision, which I think is pretty cool,” he said following the GA.

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JOY SANTIAGO / MULTIMEDIA EDITOR

The Liberal government proposed their budget on Tuesday, which aims to reduce deficits.

MPPs will be meeting with constituents and having a “serious talk” this week over whether to support Ontarians may be headed back to the budget.

“We’re not ready to make that the polls this spring.

The Liberal provincial minor- decision yet,” said Taylor. “We ity government tabled its proposed won’t know that until after our next budget Tuesday, but Opposition caucus meeting.” and Progressive Conservative party Some of the features of the budLeader Tim Hudak says his party get include austerity toward penwill not support the budget, putting sions for current public sector emAndrea Horwath’s New Democratic ployees, including greater required Party in a position to decide wheth- contributions and a reduction in future benefits, as well as a freeze er the budget is voted down.

The budget aims to slash the on scheduled drops in corporate inprovince’s $15.3 billion deficit by come taxes and the Business Educafreezing wages at hospitals, univer- tion tax. sities, colleges and on other public The budget comes on the heels of February’s sector employees.

Drummond Report, If it is defeated, an election could be With students having which called for nucalled as early as huge debt and not a merous measures to take place in order May. lot of job to quickly tackle the “We are making the right choicprospects coming deficit.

However, the es to ensure that out of school, it’s Liberals left a numOntario families concerning that ber of the report’s are receiving the best possible serthere’s nothing in recommendations of the budget, vices and the best this budget for job out including a plan to value for tax dolcreation.” cancel the recent lars,” said Minister 30 per cent tuition of Finance Dwight grant for university Duncan. “All of us have a role to play in balancing the students.

“The government’s commitbudget.”

The budget aims to save $17.7 ment to continue funding enrolment billion over the next three years growth and the tuition grant are critwhile increasing revenues by $4.4 ical to creating a more accessible billion without tax increases. But and affordable post-secondary eduopponents of the legislation say it’s cation system,” said Sean Madden, leaving too many groups out of the President of the Ontario Undergraduate Student Alliance (OUSA), a equation.

“With students having huge provincial student lobbying group. debt and not a lot of job prospects Madden said, however, that coming out of school, it’s concern- postsecondary education still needs ing that there’s nothing in this bud- to be a bigger priority for the Mcget for job creation,” said Hamilton Guinty Liberals.

“With this Budget, our univerMountain MPP Monique Taylor.

“The budget’s falling short on sities will continue to operate with job creation and health care. There’s the least per-student funding and nothing in to help everyday families highest tuition fees of any province, and make life easier for them,” said while teaching quality and student Taylor. “That’s a serious problem.” success remain pressing issues,” he Horwath said that her party’s said.

Brian Decker Executive Editor

This is a paid advertisement by the MSU

the

PRESIDENT’S PAGE Katie Ferguson VP (Administration)

Duncan Thompson VP (Finance)

Matthew Dillon-Leitch President

Alicia Ali VP (Education)

2011/2012 - A YEAR IN REVIEW A YEAR OF PROGRESS FOR STUDENT ISSUES IN POST-SECONDARY EDUCATION

Alicia Ali VP (Education) vped@msu.mcmaster.ca ext. 24017

The past year has been an interesting one. The advancements in post-secondary education have been modest at times, and groundbreaking at others.

The year began with a provincial election that held the potential for great change within the climate of post-secondary

education. Students and staff led a strong McMaster campaign around our slogan of “Voting Gets Results” which focused heavily on priorities of up-front grants and investments in teaching quality. Our All-Candidates debate, Party Party and the student debate turned out hundreds of engaged students who translated their interest into a strong student vote.

The year progressed with the launch of the Ontario Tuition Grant, an investment of $800 per term for approximately 600,000 qualified students. The recent budget has led to a reaffirmation of this financial investment which is a welcome announcement for students. I am confident that representation through our provincial lobbying group, the

Ontario Undergraduate Student Alliance (OUSA) and our federal lobbying group, the Canadian Alliance of Student Associations (CASA) has seen great strides this year.

McMaster was home to conferences for both these organizations, where policy directives were set and lobbying priorities decided.

However, these priorities and directives would not have been possible without the strong student leaders here at McMaster.

The new Academic Affairs Council created a hub for student leaders passionate about contributing to the quality of education and student life at McMaster. The campus wide participation in the Quality of Education Assessment led us to truly understand how students feel about their education and what

next year’s leadership can focus on to ensure greater accountability, affordability and high quality education.

It has been both an honour and a privilege to serve the students of McMaster over the past year, and I look forward to the great things that have already been set in motion for next year.

The MSU is at a pivotal place in terms of enhancing the quality of education at McMaster through the recent strides in experiential education and interdisciplinary studies. And while there is still an incredible amount of work to be done, the possibilities are truly endless. To next year’s advocacy team, good luck and may the passion to enhance our education be with you.

A YEAR OF IMPROVED SERVICES THROUGHOUT THE MSU

Katie Ferguson VP (Administration) vpadmin@msu.mcmaster.ca ext. 23250

This year we saw services of the MSU deliver on their mandates, always striving to enhance the lives of students, through a variety of capacities. To highlight a few, the MSU’s partnership with Canadian Blood Services (CBS) was enhanced, MAC Bread Bin’s operations have expanded and composting was implemented in the McMaster University Student Centre MUSC. On January 24 an astounding 171 units of blood were donated in CIBC Hall at a clinic supported by the MSU through our partnership with Canadian Blood Services.

This set a new record for the most number of units donated at a McMaster clinic in one day. There is a demonstrated commitment from the students, staff and faculty of McMaster University with respect to blood donation. For the second year now, the Student Health Education Centre (SHEC) has been instrumental to the success of this partnership, by providing resources and information to students about CBS and booking appointments for students at McMas-

ter clinics. We continue to surpass other universities in terms of units donated and importantly, we continue to see increasing numbers of first-time donors.

This summer MAC Bread Bin will operate throughout the summer months for the first time, ensuring students have access to emergency food assistance all year round. A hunger survey was conducted by the MSU, which revealed the importance of this expansion in service delivery. Members of the SRA, full-time staff and the members of MAC Bread Bin have worked to ensure the MSU can and will fill the need for additional support.

Inspired by the requests from students for composting facilities at McMaster, several campus partners came together to make composting a reality. MACgreen, the McMaster Office of Sustainability and the MUSC partnered to provide a composting station, located across from Union Market.

This is an example of how the MSU translates the student voice into action.

I couldn’t be more proud of the individuals whose passion and dedication led the MSU to so many accomplishments this year. With a newly hired team of part-time managers, I am confident that the successes of the MSU will continue. I wish all the new staff and the incoming Vice President (Administration) all the best for the coming year. It has been an absolute pleasure to be a part of so much inspiration.

A YEAR OF FINANCIAL GROWTH AND POSITIVE TRENDS

Duncan Thompson VP (Finance) vpfinance@msu.mcmaster.ca ext. 24109

Every year the incoming MSU Executive is told by the outgoing exec that the year will go by way too fast, so you need to savour

every moment of it to ensure you get the best out of the experience. Honestly, that couldn’t be truer. This year has passed very quickly. It feels like we started just yesterday.

The only way to be sure that a whole year really passed is to look back over what’s happened and what changes were made to the MSU. This year, with the help of everyone on staff, we achieved a great many things. A new website was launched after a year of development, our business units continued to see very strong growth and we implemented a new banking system for MSU Clubs.

We have had some hard-earned finan-

cial success this year. After several years of struggling to get back into a strong financial position, the MSU has ascended to a place where growth is possible and the expansion of our service delivery is something we can discuss. This is exactly the kind of conversation we should have to make sure we can constantly keep up with the ever changing needs of the student body.

After years of discussing the possibility of other options for MSU Clubs’ bank accounts, we have finally achieved the balance we need and we have made the switch to McMaster Credit Union. Now we’ve got

a system that benefits both Clubs and the MSU. The new accounts offer Clubs a way to access cheaper banking and they offer the MSU an easy way to make club funding transfers.

The year has been one that we can all be proud of, and it’s truly thanks to everyone working together to make it possible.

I wish I could use this space to thank each and every member of the staff individually for everything that they’ve done. Nothing that happened this year would have been accomplished without the help and support they have given me. Thank you.

MSU COURSE EVALUATIONS CAN NOW BE ACCESSED “QUESTIONS YOU WANT, RESULTS YOU SEE”

resultsyousee.msumcmaster.ca The President’s Page is sponsored by the McMaster Students Union.

It is a space used to communicate with the student body about the projects, goals and agenda of the MSU Board of Directors.

www.msu.mcmaster.ca

THE SILHOUETTE • A5

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

University History

Celebrating...

125 ...years

125 years ago, McMaster celebrated its modest but nascent beginnings Dina Fanara and Kacper Niburski Assistant News Editors

There was a time when McMaster University was located in the heart of downtown Toronto. Back then, McMaster ushered its first school cheer that bubbled with off the wall one liners like “Boom on Star!” and “Boom!

Fitz! Boom!”

Then in 1894, McMaster began offering degrees, and in 1930, the University experienced a dramatic shift and relocated to Hamilton. Since then, the University has established itself as a hub of intellect, creativity and ingenuity, reaching the heights of international rankings.

But it wasn’t always so promising.

Behind the gothic architecture and cutting edge research, there are a variety of unspoken struggles and triumphs.

To forget the numerous accomplishments in education and research, the times of uncertainty and hardship, and the harrowing accounts of students being drafted into the Great Wars proud but never returning would be to forget where McMaster has come from.

2012 marks the 125th anniversary of this historical and enduring culture in McMaster University.

Events held throughout the year will com-

memorate the milestone in University history.

A new website in honour of the anniversary was launched, and features event listings, old photographs and anecdotes of McMaster history.

This website will also soon feature a list of McMaster’s 125 most influential people, once the results from the “People of Impact” contest which was designed for this purpose is completed. The intention is to recognize those who have been most influential in the advancement of the University.

To add to the excitement, McMaster’s class of 2012 will be burying a time capsule between Edwards Hall and Alumni Memorial Hall filled with memorabilia of their time in university. The capsule will be opened in 50 years, in 2062.

Additionally, on April 23, Founder’s Day will be celebrated on campus to commemorate the momentous day when McMaster was deemed a university and received royal assent in 1887.

All of these are united by the fact that in 125 years, a lot can happen. McMaster owes its budding reputation to these previous years.

To put it simply: incipient beginnings were the origin of all of things McMaster and they will be the impetus underlying another successful 125 years.

Higher Education

“People will look at universities as muesums” merit. No longer would the Humanities house lectures of four hundred or more students.

Chemistry students wouldn’t have to squeeze Take an intense focus on science, a small into their classes uncomfortably like a bunch class size and a genius of new-age pedagogy, of anionic electrons. and what comes out is the brainchild program Under this progressive model – which is Integrated Science – often referred to as iSci. still ages away from being implemented – stu In its third year of existence, the program dents would not feel like yet another number. recently held its first ever symposium Synthe- Yet this raises the obvious question of sis, a nine-day event intended to celebrate the feasibility, especially considering the fundculmination of the academic school year, as ing model of McMaster, where much of the well as an attempt to host an open invitation tuition pays for University services. to people across the University to experience Adamant as always, Deane stressed that, iSci. “under the current model, Among the many things yes of course it is imposplanned was an open forum sible. Yet we act like the discussion with president of It was a model that model was decreed. It was McMaster University, Patrick a model that has lasted 120 has lasted Deane, centralized on his letter years and worked relatively 120 years and Forward with Integrity, and well. But is it the model for worked relatively the next 120 years? I firmly how it applies to the iSci program. believe it is not.” well. But is it The forum focused on For this reason, Deane the model for the looked three aspects: how to generalto the pioneering next 120 years? I work of the iSci program for ize the iSci experience to all disciplines, how to integrate firmly believe it is motivation. Students offered iSci into the broader Hamilton their opinions on the pronot.” community and how to ensure gram as a whole, as well as that a research-based model is their concerns for its future. maintained during undergrad.

Some lauded the skills gleaned in the pro The first, of course, is naturally conten- gram such as scientific literacy, while others tious. As delineated in Deane’s letter, the cur- were more hesitant to praise, noting that the rent of education is to move away from the program is still too juvenile to adequately antiquated model, and slowly evolve into a analyze its successes. hybrid of interdisciplinary and experiential Regardless, the forum – and the iSci prolearning. If implemented, class sizes would gram itself – is an attempt to make University shrink, students would have a more condu- relevant. “If we don’t change now, people cive relationship with professors and the ma- will look at universities as museums,” said terial taught would be proportionally more Deane. difficult.

To that end, the symposium itself is a pal While the last bit may make some stu- liative for educational paralysis. In its fullest dents cringe, the hypothetical proposal has form, it is a moment of massive change.

Kacper Niburski

Assistant News Editor

Dear Readers, Typos are a part of life. Sorry if we ever added an extra “s” in “as” ....

“SAS” was not the word we were going for...

All the Best,

The Sil News Team

A6 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

EDITORIAL

editor’s extension: 22052 letters: thesil@thesil.ca

Letters:

Thanks from a weary Sil veteran

The Silhouette McMaster University’s Student Newspaper

Holy hell, first year seems like a long time ago.

Like pretty much anyone, I came to university fresh faced and looking to re-invent myself. University, I thought, was supposed to be wild and crazy world where you drank your face off, hooked up with girls left and right and somehow found time to study.

I never really did much of any of those things.

I found Mac as a place to mature and grow. I met my new best friends, joined the golf team (yes, there is a golf team) and found myself right at home. Even though it was nothing like I expected, I became engaged and enlightened to the world.

At least I thought so.

In third year, I joined the Sil. I’ve been there ever since. It’s allowed me to meet amazing people, learn skills for the real world and make the most of my time at school. But perhaps more than anything, it’s taught me that you always keep learning.

You learn a lot at a student newspaper. You have to take a lot of responsibility, and when you mess up, there isn’t much of a safety net. And while the people around me here definitely helped me catch up in the “wild and crazy” department, being as talented as they were, they taught me a more important lesson: You can always get better at what you do.

When I first think of McMaster, I think of Arkells and the Vanier Cup. I think of friends I met and the good times I had here. But at a second glance, it’s the place that taught me not to settle for what you think you know.

Wherever I end up, I hope I get half as much out of it as I’ve gotten from this place.

TheSil.ca

Editorial Board Brian Decker Executive Editor Sam Colbert Managing Editor Jonathon Fairclough Production Editor Farzeen Foda Senior News Editor Kacper Niburski Assistant News Editor Dina Fanara Assistant News Editor Andrew Terefenko Opinions Editor

Thanks for everything,

Fraser Caldwell Sports Editor

Brian Decker Writer and occasional cookie baker at the Silhouette 2009 - 2012

Brandon Meawasige Assistant Sports Editor Natalie Timperio Senior InsideOut Editor

The Snooty Fox, Sil history and a little thanks I had my first rye and ginger in 2009. I was young and a little stupid, just over a little broken heart, and the Silhouette somehow found it acceptable that my overly edited, highly contrived photos were allowable as content in the paper.

“Great,” I thought. “Great.”

So I ventured into the office, listened to a few conversations of unreservedness, and I was truly, utterly, hooked. These people were crazy, they were entirely open to the world around them, they were completely free, and I wanted that … I wanted that.

So I was invited to a Thursday night at the Snooty Fox, and a rye and ginger finds its way in my hand, and I’m told about the history of the Sil and how it always continues, how every person makes their mark, and I wonder what kind of lunatics are running this thing and I go home.

But now I’m buying rye and gingers for the staff, and I’m telling them about tradition, and they go home nonchalantly. Fancy that.

It’s not about the content, really – we have an entire student population who are uninvolved and apathetic with student life. It’s not even about these stupid rye and gingers that I’ve been drinking for three and a half years – they leave a nasty hangover and a terrible case of morning rituals that I’d rather not talk about. It’s about the minds, the blooming personalities, the unrelenting genius that haunts this office.

Eugene Levy used to write for us. That’s right, Eugene Levy. Dave Thomas (of SCTV and Strangbrew fame) used to be our editor. Gary Lautens, the Canadian writer and humourist who wrote for the Hamilton Spectator and the Toronto Star for 50 years, used to be on the payroll. We’ve been the medium for talent and genius, for smoldering minds and unchangeable hearts, for people who have dedicated their lives to changing the thought and opinions of the people around them.

Maybe that time is done, maybe print is dying, maybe students should find another way to publish the news; and maybe, maybe not.

Maybe the medium still exists. Maybe students, regardless of their background and upbringing, can assemble at a place that doesn’t judge on background, skin colour, creed, beliefs or biases. Maybe the student voice needs to find a new place; maybe it belongs on the web, maybe it belongs in tighter terms, or maybe it belongs right where it is.

Regardless of what the next few years bring, regardless of what happens to this dying art, maybe this paper will continue doing its thing: continue bringing lost, dissuaded souls to assemble, discuss and digress.

Maybe, just maybe, this tradition of unbiased, impartial reporting will continue. Maybe.

Another rye and ginger please, just for the hell of it.

Cassandra Jeffery Assistant InsideOut Editor Sonya Khanna Business Editor Jemma Wolfe Senior andy Editor Myles Herod andy Entertainment Editor Josh Parsons andy Music Editor Tyler Hayward Senior Photo Editor Renée Vieira Assistant Photo Editor Joy Santiago Multimedia Editor

Silhouette Staff Bushra Habib, Christine Pugliese, Julia Redmond, Chanéle Jordan, Amanda Teseo, Katherine George, Aaren Fitzgerald, Ben Orr, Maggie Cogger-Orr, Ryan Mallough, Rob Hardy, Erin Chesney, Paul Fowler, Nolan Matthews, Jason Scherer, Jenna Shamoon, Sandro Giordano, Jeremy Voisin, Baldwell, Deodorant

Yours truly, Jonathon Fairclough Photographer, Writer, and Editor of the Silhouette 2009 - 2012

CORRECTION: In the March 15 edition of the Silhouette, we mistakenly left the SRA Commerce members off the list of newly elected SRA members. Those winners were Jeremy Bober-Inoue, Gabriel Cicchi and Jimmy Long. We regret the error.

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Contact Us McMaster University Student Centre, Room B110 McMaster University 1280 Main Street West Hamilton, ON L8S 4S4 E–Mail: thesil@thesil.ca Production Office (905) 525-9140, extension 27117 Advertising (905) 525-9140, extension 27557 10,000 circulation Published by the McMaster Students Union

to fraser’s johnny.

to karaoke.

to the vanier cup. holy shit, that happened.

to terefenko’s layout skills.

to the yates & uteck, too. thanks for weeks of stories, football team.

to ski horror. oh, monsieur!

to jemma’s takedown of epic meal time.

to grooveshark, for getting me through the year.

to sex & the steel city. & the music issue.

to ac for recruiting #boney2012. yes.

to every duster in nhl ‘02.

to tebowing, bradying and manningace all in one incredible photo.

to the 4-page spec. yes. to every thursday night since 2009. to surviving the year in the basement. to ‘80s at 8. to joy for bailing out every section, every week. to jf & mh, 3-year pals. to next year. sc’s gonna blow this rag right out of the water.

to everyone for putting up with me this year. to dundas. charming place to live, really. to jackson square: my copy eding soundtrack. to jessie & chris. yeah, one last time, i guess. to three years in this place. i owe the people i’ve met everything. high highs, low lows, but an affection for this place that i’ll never forget.

THE SILHOUETTE • A7

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

OPINIONS

production office extension: 27117 opinions@thesil.ca

Ten more steps to Sodom ous Netherlands legalized prostitution in all forms, including brothel ownership, subject to Is freedom really free when free- licensing requirements and legal wheeling femmes are famously pimping, as long as coercion of fearful of flawed laws? The On- prostitutes or clients was not tario Appeal Court sure thinks a factor. Where are they now? so, judging by their Monday de- The country’s sex workers aren’t cision to cease the ban on broth- exactly self-made fortunes, but els, our little piece of bedroom they are well protected. Only bedlam. three years ago the Dutch justice This is some surprisingly ministry assigned a special prosprogressive behaviour from a ecutor, who had the express purlegal body that has left sex trade pose of shutting down prostitulitigations almost purposely tion rings associated with organvague for decades in a disturbed ized crime, specifically avoiding attempt to delay discussion on the interference of the everyday the issue. Perhaps this will be business of their legal counterthe catalyst for enlightened dis- parts. This displayed a clear course on the topic of fully legal understanding of the difference prostitution, unbetween “clean” hampered by the sex trade and the strict anti-solicitkind that keeps ation enforce- We’ve come a long the subject ment in play. One way from genocide, under wraps in can hope so, but slavery and holy schools. what is the true This could wars (well, not so be Canada in underlying victory behind this years, far from the last nine decision, even more progresone) but there if the Supreme sive and rational Court shoots it than ever, and is vast room for down later this it doesn’t even improvement. year? rely on the Su This is a vicpreme Court detory for intellicision, because gent thought on taboo subjects as a sovereign nation-state we that has been perpetuate in our have made our intent clear when society for as long as we have it comes to archaic archetypes. been able to call it one. It’s diffi- We will not stand for the subcult to face, but for an unaccept- jugation of “conservative-unable amount of time, our species friendly” lifestyles, and whether has been bigoted, intolerant and it be prostitution, marijuana or just plain stupid. We’ve come a gay marriage, there is a fine line long way from genocide, slav- between discouraging a naughty ery and holy wars (well, not so act and downright bigotry. far from the last one) but there We may be mere humans in is vast room for improvement. our capacity to change in such a Humans are morally asleep, but short time, but above that, we are this is a half step towards waking Canadians, who are not only the up. world’s renowned peacekeepers, How might this experiment but have built a reputation that end for us? In 2000, the nefari- put the “eh” in “tolerate.”

Andrew Terefenko Opinions Editor

JOY SANTIAGO / MULTIMEDIA EDITOR

The brothel industry has legality within arm’s reach. If all goes accordingly, sex will be subsidized.

The penalty they pay for us Ryan Mallough Silhouette Staff

On March 16, 1968, American Soldiers from the 1st Battalion, 20th Infantry Regiment, 11th Brigade of the Americal Division opened fire on the civilians of the South Vietnamese village of Mai Lai. Between 300-500 Vietnamese, mostly women and children, were killed in the massacre, which would be covered up for a year before reaching the American public.

Twenty-six American soldiers were charged, twenty-five of them acquitted. Only Second Lieutenant William Calley was convicted, given a life sentence on being found guilty of 22 murders. While Calley’s name will forever be associated with the massacre, his sentence was reduced to three years’ house arrest by President Nixon, and he was ultimately released in 1974, serving a total of just over three years for twentytwo murders.

There was no justice for the victims of Mai Lai. On March 11 of this year, Army Staff Sergeant Robert Bales allegedly left his base in Afghanistan an entered two nearby villages, opening fire on sleeping families and killing seventeen. This time, there was no cover-up. Staff Sgt. Bales was quietly withdrawn from Afghanistan back to the United States via Kuwait and held at Fort Leavenworth military prison in Kansas, where he has been charged with seventeen counts of premeditated murder.

Bales’ lawyer has cited post-traumatic stress as the trigger behind his actions. It was Bales’ seventh tour, he had lost a part of his foot in previous duty and he had a close friend lose his leg days before the attack. While the Afghan shoot-

ings were shocking, what is perhaps most surprising is that something like this has not happened before.

According to a 2011 study by Catherine Lutz of the Watson Institute at Brown University, 88,719 veterans of the Afghan and Iraqi wars were diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder as of 2010. Lutz also noted that 39 per cent of soldiers deployed in Afghanistan or Iraq were on their second or higher tour of duty.

The American army does not have the man power to afford their soldiers single tours of duty. The longevity of the conflict and the relative strength and staying power of the insurgency have forced the Americans to stay far more engaged than expected at the outset of the war. In response, President Bush, and President Obama after him, oversaw a surge in troop levels, hoping to overwhelm insurgent forces, bringing more soldiers into the area, many of them veterans of multiple tours of duty.

However, as a result of the insurgency, the enemy no longer looks like the enemy, but instead looks like the people they are there to protect. The result was soldiers patrolling the streets and seeing a threat in every passing face. It inevitably takes a psychological toll.

The rationale behind Bales’ actions will be analyzed both in the courts of law and public opinion, and PTSD discourse will inevitably dominate the Western airwaves.

While PTSD is an issue that needs to be brought to the forefront, another issue will be lost in the coverage: the issue of justice, not for Bales’ actions, but for the Afghan people.

Whether it was ever their intention or not, the American forces entered Afghanistan under the pretence of removing the Taliban and brining

democratic values to the region. Central to those democratic values are the ideas of accountability and justice. That one has to be held responsible for his actions.

Despite the fact the soldier was American, he committed crimes against the Afghani people.

In light of the American’s role in Afghanistan, it would go a long way towards future relations to hold the trial in Afghanistan under Afghani law, even if the Americans reserve the right to punish Bales on their own terms. The Afghani people deserve to have their right to trial upheld.

At the very least the Obama administration should extend an invitation to the Karzai government to send a delegation to bear witness to the proceedings should they be held in the United States; even better would be to extend an invitation to an Afghani lawyer to participate in the prosecution. Such a gesture would do infinitely more to repair the damage caused than the current American strategy of throwing money at the problem ($50,000 per victim) and bringing the trial behind closed doors.

President Lyndon B. Johnson said that “ultimate victory will depend upon the hearts and minds [of the Vietnamese]” in the Vietnam War. Allowing events like the Mai Lai massacre to happen and the handling of its aftermath ensured that America would fail. Once again administrations have emphasised the importance of winning over “hearts and minds” This may be their last chance to fix the past, and to show they ever really cared.

His trial is pending, but if it continues on the track it is on, there will be no justice – conviction or no, death penalty or no – for the Afghan people. America has a chance to makes things right.

INSIDE HEADTOHEAD Are course drop dates too punshing?

The final debate of the academic year hits students close to home.

Page A11

Feedback We celebrate the opinions that matter the least: those of the Sil staff.

Page A8

This Week in Opinions Summer Job Woes

Major Pain

QUESTIONNAIRE

Students are less likely to get a summer job than most are expecting. Why is there a big disparity in the supply of jobs and the demand for it?

Choosing your major should be a decision made earlier in life. Why do we leave it until the final hours?

Help the Silhouette become a better paper for you by filling out a short form and you might win a $50 gift card to Titles!

Pg. A9

Pg. A10

Pg. A12

A8 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

Feedback presents

The Silhouette Secondary School

Class of 2012 Brian Decker

Sam Colbert

Jonathon Fairclough

“I did it: a whole year at the Sil without a cup of coffee. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go sleep forever.”

“I’ll always remember this year as one of three-piece suits, fat cigars and fine bottles of brandy furnishing the news room. Real journalism, J. Jonah Jameson style.”

“I credit my success to my energy; energy from the 80 packets of PeekFreans that I annexed from Union Market.”

Farzeen Foda

Kacper Niburski

Dina Fanara

“When you hate it and love it at the same time, you know you’re at home.”

“Whatever I said this year, whatever I wrote, and whatever you may have read, I am sorry for it all. Especially this. And mostly that.”

“You will have many friends when you need them, a wise cookie once said to me. One thing that never ceases to amaze me is how we met then. Sil love forever.”

Andrew Terefenko

Fraser Caldwell

Brandon Meawasige

“In five years we’ll all either be working for him ... or be dead by his hand.”

-Jack Donaghy

“I never won one for the Gipper, but I also never threw out the baby with the bathwater. Never forget that it’s the size of your word count that matters, not how you use it.”

Natalie Timperio

Cassandra Jeffery

Sonya Khanna

“I’m a writer and I can’t think of 50 lousy words of wisdom. Thanks, Silhouette, for two solid years and good friends, and a constant case of writer’s block.”

“To sum up my experience here: far too short!”

Myles Herod

Josh Parsons

“Don’t be dismayed by goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before we meet again.

And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends. Remember, it’s all about Rock n’ Roll.

“This year was great. I grew a beard and provided a home for a family of birds in need. I also got paid to write about what I love and work with some cool cats. I guess that was great too.”

Tyler Hayward

Renée Vieira

Joy Santiago

“I’m switching to Nikon.”

“Click, click :) x”

“My hands have never pleasured so many people at once.”

“Who we are in bed is who we are in life.”

-Samantha Jones

Jemma Wolfe “It’s all happening.”

“Some of you may not think I’m a prophet ... but they won the Vanier Cup, doe.”

Not Pictured: Baldwell The Ball, Leather Shoes, Chocolate Milk, Blood Sweat & Tears, Deodorant and Red Leaf

THE SILHOUETTE • A9

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

Reflective curtain YOU ARE ENTITLED Rob Hardy

Silhouette Staff

During my first undergrad at McMaster in 1999, I did a series of philosophical interviews with professors and TAs for a personal research project called The Dialectical Exposition of This Life. There’s a time in youth when university students seek out answers to the big angst-ridden questions, which occupy most people’s minds, as we try to orient ourselves in this world. Regardless of your opinion of God, love, happiness, death and the like, we function and make choices based on some construct of the world we’ve built, aside from external factors which previously helped shape us.

The incredibly profound answers given during those interviews thirteen years ago lead me to revisit some of those questions during general interviewing I was already doing. I wanted to glean some more insight and see how things have changed. As well, 2012 is as equally mystical a year to examine our lives as was 1999: Back then we were anticipating Y2K, a man-made disaster in waiting, while 2012 is much more mysterious in the possible prophecies it may soon reveal. What I discovered though is that how life has changed since then was already partially evident prior to speaking to anyone.

In today’s world, having an hour of someone’s time as they indulge you in favour of even academic concerns is a lofty ambition. Before I had even approached anyone, I realized that life today goes faster than ever, as we multi-task from early morning well into the night. Though the ‘90s were by no means quaint, and in some ways things aren’t so different, our current decade is still quite different and, I feel, exceptionally over-demanding.

Perhaps this is another thing heralding the way we’ve changed in our interactions with each other. People may not be having the kind of deep, intense conversations we used to have, at least as often, and when they do occur our quiet times are interrupted by a beep, tweet or vibrating phone.

Undivided attention has never been a rarer commodity. That being said, people seem more likely to help and give you at least some of their time, though their sched-

ules are filled with more meetings and appointments; a day of rushing around and sampling a bit of everything.

In brief, people grew quite thoughtful as they were asked what a good life is, their thoughts on the value of truth, and became expressive in trying to articulate their philosophies on attaining happiness and other moral issues. Though it can take some time to extract conclusions as you later ponder your interviewees’ responses, I could go back to a similar theme mentioned earlier; that people really enjoy thinking deeply and discussing their personal viewpoints seriously, perhaps all the more in an era where we have learned to summarize and ask “how are you” without literally inviting something that isn’t cursory and innocuous.

Having read a portion of my peers’ work in this paper every week throughout the year, there is some strong evidence that people are engaged and willing to confront provocative issues on their own terms. However, more need to take the initiative to get involved in both the big issues and the mundane. One example of this in the larger society is the labour pool, to whom we will eventually belong, standing up and taking action. And to briefly weigh in from last week’s article about teacher unions, my viewpoint is that society should be supporting these workers who are unwilling to take a hit as the economy slides, because if the standard drops for them it will also consequently decline further for the rest of us.

In closing, and as is fitting for the final issue of this term, I’d like to thank the numerous individuals who offered their time and perspectives as I queried them about, what seems to be, everything under the sun. Without your help my perspectives would not have been nearly as articulate and informed.

I’d like to end with a quote from one of the philosophy professors who had participated in my questioning years ago... “I think most of us live our lives in better or worse ways and then we cease to exist.” Though it may strike one as somewhat bleak, therein also lies a hope that by navigating the moral dilemmas we confront in our lives we can decidedly inject some meaning, and hopefully true joy, before the proverbial curtain eventually falls.

Broke summer is back

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TYLER HAYWARD / SENIOR PHOTO EDITOR

Students are veering ever closer to an era of jobless post-study summers.

Amy Thackeray The Silhouette

Employment is an essential part of student’s life in either high school or in post-secondary education. In high school, students try to obtain part-time jobs in order to save money for their future university fees. Post-secondary students mostly seek full-time summer employment because they need to support themselves and be able to keep up with the upcoming demanding fees for their education.

The student employment rate has been decreasing, which poses a threat to the future of students planning to attend a post-secondly institution. Obtaining some form of employment can be an ultimatum for some students, because without that income they cannot afford to go to school.

Students every year search to find summer employments that will help them survive the payments associated with university. However, the unemployment rates have been rising for students attending post-secondary schools and high school. According to statistics Canada, the unemployment rate over the summer months for students aged 15 to 24 was 17.2 per cent, up from 16.9 per cent the year before.

The 0.3 per cent increase may not seem as substantial increase of unemployment, but that little increase indicates there are fewer students able to get jobs, and therefore fewer students able to afford post-secondary schools.

If unemployment rate continues to increase each year, then more and more students will not be able to attend post-secondary education each year. As a result, students may have to resort to borrowing money from banks or the government. The increase in tuition fees associated with high loans imposes a financial burden on students after graduation to repay their loans, and thus leads to lower saving rates. Therefore, the increase in unemployment has a long-lasting consequence for students.

As a student, I understand the hardship students go through in order to obtain summer jobs. Before attending post-secondary education, I went through a lot in order to obtain a summer job. I had a lot of pressure from my parents to obtain summer employment and I put a lot of energy into the job hunt, but I failed several times. Finally, I gained a job that was two hours away from my home.

I worked as a house and grounds keeper at a cottage, and came home every weekend in order to see my family and friends. The only reason I received the job was because I had connections where I worked, or otherwise I would have been unemployed and forced to attend post-secondary school with no saved money. Thankfully, I am of the select few that have parents who are able to support my education fees, but most students do not have that luxury.

As students become more desperate for employment, many seem to point the blame at companies for not having student employment opportunities available, but these companies are trying to make money in this hard economy as well. A solution is needed that will make an impact on student employment.

The government has made some efforts to address student unemployment, but clearly they are not enough, because there seems to be an increase in student unemployment.

Instead of placing blame, a cohesive plan is needed that will assist student employment, and thus make attending school more feasible. Employing students is only going to help the government in the long run, so I do not see why finding a solution would be such an issue. I think that post-secondary schools should do their part to help students receive jobs and give them more opportunities to learn skills that would help their job search.

Many students do not receive jobs because they do not know how to skillfully handle interviews. All in all, there are many things that can be done in order to help students that want to get an education and have better lives for themselves, and I suggest we take action now.

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A10 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

Picking your path Making the decision of academic major should be done earlier in life Nour Afara

Silhouette Staff

Alright first years, it’s time to decide what you’re going to do for the next four years. Ready? Set? SOLAR. From March 6 through April 4, students registered in a first year program must declare their majors.

Now, what is comforting in this ordeal is that you are not forced to pick any specific field of study— you get many options. In the end you do have to narrow it down to one and that is where the hard work comes in.

What do you want to do with your life? What are you interests?

Do you do well in your classes of interest? Hopefully you have a solid answer to a few of those questions because at the very least, you should know your academic strengths. My time as a first year has nearly come to an end and here is my pet peeve: I have met one too many students who have no idea what they want to do with their academic careers.

If we were to look back to each first year’s high school experience, it can be assumed that almost everyone took a careers course in grade ten. For those who have not taken it, this course is mandatory to graduate; it consists of long surveys and personality quizzes that are meant to tell you what your academic strengths are and list possible career paths. Ideally, teachers want their students to come to a broad conclusion regarding their career paths since they have a long ways to post secondary.

Unfortunately, most students could care less about their postsecondary careers when they are fifteen years old. The school board has its heart in the right place but

is completely oblivious to the fact that students really need career courses in their senior years of high school. It should also be made mandatory to graduate to ensure that students keep their futures as a priority. Of course, the perfect world would consist of a school board that worked for the welfare of all students, and not just the ones who are academically focused from the beginning of high school.

So where does this leave first years? Absolutely lost. The same first years who are unsure about which program they want to select just might be the same students who did not receive sufficient guidance in high school. This is a fault on the school board’s part. However, it does not deter from the fact that students are responsible for their own education. True, the high school curriculum could be improved but its current state is not an excuse for students to be this unsure about what to major in.

Their uncertainty can be clearly defined as irresponsibility. Some students simply did not spend enough time evaluating themselves in high school and thus they are in this conundrum. To end off my rant, I’d like to leave you with this: exploring yourself during first year is an absolute gift. We are given the chance to take a wide variety of courses that cover every interest we could possibly have. Yes, it is difficult and frustrating but no one knows what you want except for yourself—complaining to others will not help your situation.

In some cases, it is a simple as choosing to study what you love most. You may not be very good at it, but your passion for studying it will encourage you keep working towards that degree.

This yearly cycle of the Silhouette has come to an end, but don’t fret! You’ll have more chances to contribute in our three summer issues! Just send an e-mail to opinions@thesil.ca and be included in one of our three in-between issues, or save up some ideas for the coming semester this Fall. As always, we are always looking for questions for the many opinions recurring segments, so take your time (now that you have it) and make your mark in freshly pressed ink!

YOUR VOICE ON CAMPUS

THE SILHOUETTE • A11

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

SUMEET

DEBATE:

KHANNA

Should

S: Add/drop dates. Although I’ve personally never added or dropped a course after the “financial penalty” deadline, I’ve spoken to peers who tell me that one could have dropped a second term course without academic penalty up until March 9 of this year. What comes to my mind, at least, is how close this date is to exams. In fact, it’s so close to exams, that it might as well be pushed right-before exams (roughly April 3).

As a caveat, I don’t want to be talking about courses that have no written examination during the formal exam period. I’m talking about the Chem 1A03s of the McMaster world. And the first point I’ll offer Violetta to begin this debate, is that I think hope is something that lasts longer than the Mac admin want to admit.

A student can pass March 9, be failing a course, and still cross his/her fingers for the exam to “save them”. And then, right before the exam, while embroiled in exam-prep, I think some students finally realize that their efforts will be to no avail. They’ve neglected the course material, and that neglect cannot be resolved in the span of a few days cramming for an exam. So if this is the case, let them drop the course without penalty. The alternative is to have the student write the exam and fail the course; not only is this demoralizing for many, but it also looms over academic transcripts FOREVER (or at least for a while).

V: Hold on, Sumeet. March 9 is how close to the exam period? Oh yeah – a month. A

are the current deadlines

I have tried to compose a reflection on the past year for some time now.

Draft after draft died quickly as attempts to put down in words my experiences failed to live up to the high standard of literary eloquence I have set for myself. Whereas writing about the issue had been simple in the past, now I find it strikingly difficult to recount the trials and tribulations of a year in politics. It is simple to write about unknown ideals, but difficult to reflect when you have lived experiences to consider.

When I left the Silhouette to stand for a seat on the Student Representative Assembly, I did so with an idealized version of the world I was entering. I saw a legislature that was not living up to its full potential, and all it needed was the introduction of a political spirit like myself to realize what it could be.

Great reforms were inevitable, in my mind.

A different kind of politics than the one I expected hit me when I walked into Council Chambers for the first time as a member of the Assembly. The no man’s land of VicePresidential elections showed me a different side of the people I ran along side in the general election and of the people in whom I had placed so much trust and so much faith.

More than ever, I wanted to make a reality those reforms I had so often dreamed about. Finding like-minded people, we worked toward a program of change and, though there were disagreements and a great schism along the way, it culminated in the penultimate event of my time in the MSU. I sought the presidency of the union on a platform of advocating for students by tackling the everyday issues we all face. My team and I were ultimately unsuccessful, though to be part of the increase in engagement we saw on campus was a rewarding enough experience. I

sufficient?

solid month of midterms, assignments and content that has been prepared by the professor.This period in the academic semester offers two very important opportunities; the first is an improvement in one’s standing in that course. The second is the possibility of developing an interest in the course.

I think we do not give enough credit to the merit behind University and academic commitment.

When we make a decision to take a class, there are many possible motives: “bird course” to improve CA or SA, required course, interesting elective, passionate course of exploration, the list goes on.

However, in regards to the decision to take the class purely to get an easy mark is the one on the list that should be critically analyzed. When did we decide that in University it should be glorified to take the waters in an ‘easy course’ and then drop it once we realize we can’t cheat the system into easy grades.This is University. Buckle up and commit to what you took.

S: Okay, let’s buckle up. Vio, recognize that a lot of courses throw a lot of their heavy assignment material in the last month. So let’s run a thought experiment. We have student X. Student X wants to continue in this course, even though he knows he’s not doing so well. It’s March 9th. He drops the course, because he knows that the heavy assignments are after March 9th, and he doesn’t want to take the risk. On my side of this debate, student X doesn’t feel the

From writing to righting wrongs The Silhouette

NIKOLSKAYA

moved later in the term or

CO-PRESIDENT MCMASTER DEBATING SOCIETY

Chris Erl

course drop dates be

HEAD TO HEAD VIOLETTA

am not bitter I lost, but rather disappointed that I personally could not better connect with the people on this campus I ran to represent.

What was learned, these past few months? This has been a year of great maturation, to cast the situation in a mild light. I moved along the currents of possibilities in this union, taking on the role of student journalist, then student representative and finally on to student of ambition.

I took a gamble, leaving a job I loved with people I respected to seek the highest office in our collectivity and the odds were hardly in my favour. There are a plethora of missed opportunities and recreations in my head that I could have, should have, would have taken if I only had the benefit of hindsight.

But there were victories. I rewrote the union’s policy on transit, throwing Light Rail Transit into our public discourse. I fought for a change to the way our government works and created a committee to do so. I met passionate advocates for the people who have become my close colleagues and closer friends.

And, most importantly, I learned that democracy is a delicate and misunderstood concept, easily disregarded in the interest of speed, efficiency and personal gain. But there are few other systems that exist on earth that would allow myself – the godless, gay, socialist grandson of Bavarian dirt farmers and Scottish fishermen – the possibility to stand as a representative of the people and advocate for those who need the most help in our world.

In retrospect, I learned that we need our losses to discover how to win, we need our struggles to understand what we are fighting for, and we need great disputes to find love.

For our politics, for the idea of democracy, for my friends and for the one incredibly amazing person that I love, I would not give up my experience for the world.

CO-PRESIDENT MCMASTER DEBATING SOCIETY

pressure to drop. He can take the course, develop “interest” in the course, as you put it Vio, and then drop the course if he’s finding it difficult.We maximize learning with my resolution Go in there, learn, and have the option to drop if you don’t want to doom your transcript with a fail.

V: Sounds like your student X is auditing the course. As this student is not supposed to be just there, that develops two problems; the very first is that student C is filling a seat that someone else who either needs the course or would want to be in the course should be filling, and secondly, this student will be delaying what you imply is an inevitable process.

There are a lot of students who find themselves in the awful position of not finding a seat in a required course and then having to either take an expensive summer course or to wait an additional year. For some this could mean delaying their graduation by a semester, or even an entire year.

All so that one person can get an expensive ride through a course that will yield no credits? How is this at all beneficial for student X or those affected? Furthermore, this student clearly needs to talk to an academic counsellor and make plans for their own graduation and degree audit fulfillment rather than staying in a class that is draining precious time. Maximize learning? Your side only creates more problems and does not even begin to address the ones that I outlined.

S: Wait, this makes no sense. If student X is enrolled in the course, he is not auditing the course. That seems pretty clear to me. So if students can’t find a seat, it isn’t student X’s fault; the admin has overbooked the course, or students are informally switching core class times to suit their needs. Listen, I get one last shot to prove my point for the paper, until September. Here I go. March 9th adds stress to students, and hurts their ability to succeed. Moving it to right before exams allows students to try, then fail, and learn from their failure, rather than worry about a big omen on their transcript. To sum things up in debate terms: I’m right, and you’re wrong.

V: This all amounts to a mere strawman argument. I did not say student X auditing the course; I said that his behaviour is like that of auditing a course but it does not have the benefits that auditing the course has. Again, now you go on to absolve their guilt in causing the course to be full for others students.

We have a responsibility to ensure that students who should be in the course access that opportunity, and this is made more challenging with suggestions like yours. Give more credit to University students. We are not children. We are adults and we should be treating our commitments like adults.

Things are tough, but we cannot always afford to leave everything to the last minute.

To sum things up in debate terms: Yield to the master debater.

A12 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

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S1 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

The Silhouette

SPORTS

Sil Sports calls an end to the season by tipping its cap to the best the Marauders had to offer in 2011-2012. See our awards on S4, S5 and S8.

YOUR SOURCE FOR MCMASTER MARAUDERS SCORES, STORIES, UPDATES AND ANALYSIS

A YEAR OF MARAUDING

MEN’S BASKETBALL

The Marauders welcome highlight reel forward Rohan Boney to the Maroon and Grey. Details on S3.

FEATURE

McMaster officially concludes its sporting calendar in 2011-2012 with the announcement of the University’s athletic award winners.

Kyle Quinlan and the Vanier Cup-winning football team takes centre stage. Details on S2.

Marauder squash player Mikaila Nederveen continues a family tradition with her charitable involvement. See S3.

S2 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

Athletic Awards

Mac Athletes Care

sees Football headlines ceremony Program early success

JEFF TAM / SILHOUETTE STAFF

Kyle Quinlan (left) and Anthony Costa both grabbed major awards on Mar. 26 Fraser Caldwell Sports Editor

McMaster brought a symbolic end to a banner season for the Maroon and Grey with the presentation of the Marauders’ year-end awards on Mar. 26.

Unsurprisingly, the landmark achievements of the Vanier Cup winning Marauder football team featured prominently in the Monday night festivities.

The team as a whole was honoured with the Joyce Wignall Award for their combined community service and teamwork, while quarterback and Vanier Cup Most Valuable Player Kyle Quinlan was recognized with the Ivor Wynne Award as McMaster’s premier male athlete of the year.

Following his recognition, Quinlan indicated that the year-end award provided a fitting conclusion to a remarkable year for he and his teammates.

“It’s a nice way to cap off the entire season,” said the Marauder quarterback. “A lot has happened this year, so to get this award is just another thing that I can share with the boys and remember a great year by. It was great to be recognized alongside them. The

amount of work that these guys put into community service has been unbelievable, so to see that awarded is great as well.”

Track standout Katie Anderson garnered the yearly accolade as the most outstanding female athlete, winning the Thérèse A. Quigley Award on the strength of a gold medal at the OUA Championship and dual silvers at the CIS national event.

Anderson believes that her success underscores the importance of hard work, as she overcame an extended battle with mononucleosis to roar into the upper echelons of the CIS track hierarchy.

“It provides inspiration in proving the fact that hard work does actually pay off,” said the veteran runner of her award. “Even though initially you’re discouraged, if you do work hard and put a lot in, I think it does eventually pay off. And the reward is definitely worth the wait. I think that pretty much sums up this year and my career in general.”

Marauder men’s soccer captain and CIS All-Canadian Anthony Costa was recognized on Mar. 26 as the graduating male athlete who best represented the spirit of McMaster, taking home the Dr. Ray Johnson Award as a result.

Beyond his exemplary work while donning the captain’s armband, Costa is famous (or indeed, infamous) as the most vocal of supporters of his Marauder colleagues at the Burridge Gym. A fixture at volleyball matches, the fifth-year senior brought his own unique brand of energy to the court week-in and week-out.

Reached in the wake of his recognition, Costa played down his personal role and took time to laud the efforts of his fellow Marauders.

“It sounds cliché but we’re all athletes here and we’re all doing our part to influence this school and create a positive atmosphere,” said the senior. “I’m the loudmouth but other guys are doing other things. I just heard from [football receiver] Matt Peressini for example who’s helping needy kids. So all of the athletes deserve it.

“I do it for a good cause. I love the guys from the volleyball team and they’re definitely my favourite team to cheer for. If it wasn’t for them having a good squad, I wouldn’t be able to do what I did this year and have my name put forth. So all credit to them.”

The Dr. Edna Guest Award – presented to the female graduating athlete with a similar level of athletic accomplishment and dedication to the McMaster community – was bestowed upon volleyball co-captain Meagan Nederveen.

In addition to being recognized as the OUA Libero of the Year for her on-court endeavours, Nederveen has assumed a leading role in several charitable efforts including the Weekend to End Women’s Cancers, Dreams@Mac and the Volleytotz youth initiative.

Nederveen believes that her involvement in volunteer work stems largely from the impact older volunteers had on her own journey as an athlete.

“I think I’ve had a really positive experience in sport, and because of the volunteers that were so involved in that development, I’ve really been inspired to give back to a community that has blessed me with so many opportunities,” said the veteran libero.

Also honoured on Mar. 26 were first-year Marauders Cindy Nelles, Adam Presutti and Jason Buckle, who were named as recipients of the Mel and Marilyn Hawkrigg Outstanding Rookie Award. Cheerleader Lauren Hurst took home the Les Prince Award recognizing her outstanding leadership and community service as a leading member of the Mac Athletes Care program.

in first year

Patrick Thornley The Silhouette

In the fall of 2011, the McMaster Department of Athletics and Recreation launched the McMaster Athletes Care program.

The organization was founded with the vision of engaging McMaster student athletes in meaningful volunteer experiences, with a focus on fostering positive relationships with at-risk youth in the Hamilton community.

The brainchild of Senior Development Officer, Leah Henderson, and Director of Athletics and Recreation, Jeff Giles, the McMaster Athletes Care program has expanded beyond all initial expectations.

In order to establish a consistent commitment to the Hamilton community, McMaster Athletes Care arranged to have weekly student athlete visits to both the Hamilton East Kiwanis Boys and Girls Club and the Eva Rothwell Resource Centre at Robert Land.

Thanks to local community partners such as RBC and Kiwanis, cabs to and from the centers were fully paid for, so that any student athlete volunteering with McMaster Athletes Care would be able to attend a weekly visit.

From 6-8 p.m. every Tuesday at the Boys and Girls Club and every Thursday at the Eva Rothwell Centre until the last visit of the 2011-2012 school year, on Mar. 29, upwards of 10 student athletes visited each centre weekly.

Hailey Milligan, McMaster Athletes Care’s Director for the Boys and Girls Club, remarked on the value of the charitable contributions, stating, “It is pretty powerful to see how excited the youth are to have us at the Boys and Girls Club each Tuesday.

“When the student athletes arrive for the weekly visit, it is amazing to see the youth swarm them, asking them questions about McMaster, their respective sports and telling them how happy they are to have them at the centre.”

At the Boys and Girls Club, student athletes play pool, video games and sports in the gym, participate in cooking programs and talk about athletics, school and how they arrived at McMaster with the kids. At the Eva Rothwell center, a reclaimed elementary school, • PLEASE SEE ORGANIZATION, S6

THE SILHOUETTE • S3

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

Feature

#BONEY2012

Mac squash player keeps tradition alive

High flying recruit joins Mac

Fraser Caldwell Sports Editor

Mikaila Nederveen makes a habit of battling opponents on court as a member of McMaster’s squash team, but on Apr. 1 she plans to put her talent with a racquet to a more charitable use.

Nederveen is the organizational mind behind the upcoming Squash Cancer Tournament, the latest in a series of initiatives brought about by the McMaster athletic community to benefit research aimed toward curing women’s cancers.

In December and January, the Marauder basketball and volleyball teams conducted the Shoot For The Cure and Dig For The Cure events and raised over $3000 earmarked for breast cancer research. This latest initiative is organized in support of the Weekend to End Women’s Cancers, which will benefit the Princess Margaret Hospital.

That will be followed by a two-day, 60km walk in September.

The youngest of three proud Marauder siblings, Nederveen continues a longstanding tradition of charitable contribution by she and her family.

Older brother Josh was consistently active in volunteer activities during his time with the Marauder volleyball squad, and sister Meagan has been similarly involved as she completes her fourth year in Maroon and Grey.

The youngest of the Nederveens believes that the commitment of she and her siblings to charitable work stems from the continued example set by their parents.

“My parents have always been involved in some way, whether it be through coaching or through charity,” said the young Marauder. “We feel obligated – because we’ve been so fortunate to be able to participate in sport and come to a good school – to give something back. Any opportunity that we have to do that, we feel that we have to take it, and it’s always really fun.

“People have the misconception that volunteering is just work, but it’s really not.

You can do anything and it’s very rewarding, especially being able to work with kids. It’s • PLEASE SEE NEDERVEEN, S6

SILHOUETTE FILE PHOTO

Rohan Boney (left) will rejoin former Loyola teammate and 2012 CIS Rookie of the Year Adam Presutti at McMaster.

Brandon Meawasige Assistant Sports Editor

One need not look any further than YouTube to notice that McMaster’s newest basketball recruit will be bringing an extremely athletic presence to the floor.

Johan Boney, a top-tier wing from Oakville, has made a name for himself attacking the rim with highlight reel dunks and rejecting any seemingly would-be scorer in sight with a defensive awareness far beyond his years.

“Rohan immediately changes the look of our team. With his athleticism, we now have a player who can score and create in a variety of ways that compliments the shooting of our current guards,” said current head coach and former Marauder himself, Amos Connolly.

The 6’5” high school senior who played his ball at Loyola will definitely add to the list of young, athletic players who will wear the Maroon and Grey next season.

“The Marauder program is headed in the right direction and I feel like I can be a big part of what Coach Connolly is putting to-

gether,” said Boney after the announcement of his signing.

After an extremely successful season that ended with a respectable loss in the OUA semi-finals to the defending national champion Carleton Ravens, Amos Connolly and his band of prospects look to steal some of the power in the OUA west, sporting brand new Jordan sponsored uniforms in the process.

The addition of a player with offensive skills like Boney’s would help any team at the CIS level. However, what makes this prospect so intriguing is his ability to play both sides of the ball with tenacity and athleticism.

“Rohan can also defend a number of positions and he’ll be immediately be called upon to become a defensive stopper,” commented coach Connolly on the soon-to-befreshman’s defensive prowess.

“His combination of size and quickness will allow us to extend our pressure when needed,” added the coach, who concluded his comments with an optimistic outlook.

“This is very exciting because our team just got better.”

The hope is that Boney will add a natural athleticism to the lineup that will allow McMaster to compete with the conference’s powerhouse teams from Carleton and Lakehead.

Boney is no stranger to success either.

His numerous individual accomplishments, include taking home the hardware as tournament MVP at the Silver Fox Basketball tournament this year.

Also, Boney led his Loyola Hawks to a pair of OFSAA provincial silver medals and three Halton region championships.

Choosing Mac, despite numerous offers from schools all over North America, not only gives Boney the chance to play for a contending team, but it will also reunite him with high school teammate Adam Presutti, who won CIS rookie of the year for his breakout effort at point for the Marauders.

The young duo will certainly be expected to generate an offensive spark, and if all goes according to plan, McMaster may be next in line to change the balance of power in the OUA. In the meantime, Marauder fans will have to make do with highlight film.

S4 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

Women’s Rugby

The Silhouette

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR IN A TEAM SPORT

ADAM PRESUTTI The point guard, led McMaster to a deep playoff run. Watch for this breakout performer to be an athlete of the year contender during his time at Mac.

CINDY NELLES In addition to being part of a team that earned a berth into the CIS national championship tournament, Nelles also earned CIS rookie of the year.

SPORTS

ATHLETE OF THE YEAR IN A TEAM SPORT

The year in awards 2011/2012 INDIVIDUAL ATHLETE OF TH EYEAR

INDIVIDUAL ROOKIE OF THE YEAR

ROBYN MURPHJY In her first year of competition, Murphy was named to the OUA All-Star team.

KATIE ANDERSON

KYLE QUINLAN

The quarterback led his team to a national title through a season of adversity and challenges every step of the way.

Missing the majority of the season with an illness, Anderson came back in great form, winning a handful of medals at both provincial and naional competitions.

NATASHA TURNER The graduating Turner CAMERON BAILEY leaves behind the impression of an ideal student Became the first Marauder to medal in CIS competition in overe a decade. athlete, representing her school not only on the rugby pitch but in the classroom as well.

JASON BUCKLE Winner of a gold medal at OUA competition, Buckle was named CIS rookie of the year as well.

PERFORMANCE OF THE YEAR

KYLE QUINLAN Throwing for touchdowns and running for first downs, Quinlan even hopped a defender en route to a stunning double OT Vanier Cup win., the first in school history.

S6 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

Feature

Mac Athletes Care

Nederveen plays for charity

Organization looks to the future

PHOTO C/O MIKAILA NEDERVEEN

One of Nederveen’s charitable efforts took her to the Dominican Republic. the product of both her friendship with fellow volunteer Rebecca Babcock and the ima give and take thing, and I actually feel like pact of cancer on her own family.

I get a lot more out of it than I give some- “I was very fortunate to essentially fall into it,” said Nederveen of her association times.”

Nederveen and many other Marauder with the Weekend to End Women’s Canathletes have such an opportunity to interact cers. “Rebecca has done the walk a couple with children on a regular basis as part of the of times. All of the money that is raised from Mac Athletes Care program’s relationship these walks goes directly to cancer research with the inner-city youth organization at the at the Princess Margaret Hospital. I’m representing Mac and got a chance to go to ToronEva Rothwell Centre.

However, the cause of breast cancer – to and meet a bunch of other representatives and women’s cancers more broadly – is one from other universities. that Nederveen has devoted particular atten- “While going through the hospital we tion to. She explains that her involvement is were given a tour and it was really impact• CONT’D FROM S3

ful. We got to see the different clinics and experience the unique ‘survivorship’ program, where a survivor and their family can come in for counseling. With my family being directly affected by cancer, it’s really something that sticks with you. Having someone to talk to you about what’s next is really special I’d say.”

Nederveen is hardly alone among Marauder athletes in her commitment to charitable work, as an increasing number of those sporting the Maroon and Grey have come to be involved through such outlets as the Mac Athletes Care program.

For her part, Nederveen believes that involvement comes naturally to varsity players who become accustomed to a full and hectic schedule.

“I think the Mac Athletes Care program was a really good chance for people to get involved if they didn’t really know how to go about doing it,” said the sophomore Marauder of the new initiative. “It’s not so much that people gravitate toward it, but more that athletes are used to having things to do. They’re used to doing some kind of activity.

“When something comes up, it doesn’t seem like it’s such a big, time-consuming thing because they’re so used to being on the go all the time. I think once they get a little dose of it, they’re really into it, which is something I found with people visiting the Eva Rothwell Centre. Going one time isn’t enough for them, they need to keep coming, and that’s really good to see.”

Beyond the coming weekend’s tournament and the September walk, Nederveen and her fellow volunteers are planning several more events to benefit the cause of the Princess Margaret Hospital. She indicates that volunteering is part of a constant process of self-improvement, and argues for others to become involved on the same grounds.

“If you have a little bit of time between classes, or you’re around in the summer and you want to do something, volunteering is one of the most rewarding things you can do and it really changes you as a person.

“Being involved in things like The Weekend to End Women’s Cancer has really made me the person that I am. It puts a lot of things into perspective and shows you that not everyone has the same opportunities as you. If you have the time to do it, absolutely do it. It’s hard to describe the feeling you get from helping other people.”

• CONT’D FROM S2

student athletes take part in gym activities, lego and arts and crafts, all while mentoring and fostering positive relationships with the youth.

In total, there were over four hundred student athlete visits throughout the first year of the program.

When asked about what has led to the great success of the program in its first year, McMaster Athletics Student Event Coordinator, Rebecca Babcock, stated, “What is unique about our program is that we have one-off events that allow volunteers to participate at their best convenience. This flexibility allows our student athletes to volunteer for a Tuesday weekly visit let’s say but they do not have to feel the pressure of coming back next week if they have a midterm or another commitment.

“It is this flexibility as well as the infectious energy the youth provide that has really made McMaster Athletes Care a success this year.”

Through the McMaster Athletes Care program, over three hundred youth came to McMaster to watch Marauder sports games.

Youth watched the Vanier Cup winning football team and got to meet the players and have autographs signed after a home game in October. Youth also witnessed the men’s and women’s basketball home openers and the Dig For The Cure event to watch men’s and women’s volleyball.

After the games, all of the athletes welcomed the youth to McMaster, signing shirts for the youth, while posing for pictures and encouraging kids to strive for success themselves.

Looking to the future, the McMaster Athletes Care program hopes to double the number of student athlete visits as well as the number of youth visits to McMaster next year.

The 2012-2013 year will be kicked off with the Aug. 11 event, the Steel City Amazing Race.

The occasion will see 125 youth – in honor of the 125th anniversary of McMaster – travel around the city of Hamilton, participating in various activities aimed at promoting multiculturalism and a sense of empowerment with regards to their own education.

THE SILHOUETTE • S7

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

Editorial

Why Marauding is the way to go Fraser Caldwell Sports Editor

I spent my first two years at McMaster in blissful ignorance of a group of individuals – indeed an entire thriving campus sub-culture – that would come to redefine me forever.

I was the most stereotypically insular of academics as I entered school in the fall of 2009. The path for the future was laid out years in advance in my mind, clear as if it were merely waiting to be travelled. Graduate school was a given, and a life buried in an archive of dusty, forgotten tomes was to be my lot in life.

I enjoyed professional sports as much as the next professed ‘bro’ did. I diligently did my nightly highlight homework in order to arm myself for conversations in dimly lit bars and flagging tutorials. But the campus sports scene was an unknown to me.

That changed forever in October of my third year, and I’ve never been more grateful for such an alteration to my life. I took a rare chance on the slightest of whims, answering a desperate call from a Silhouette editor for the nearest sucker willing to attend a volleyball match and scribble about it.

I had never seen the Maroon and Grey on court, and hadn’t played the sport in any real capacity since my voice was a few crucial octaves higher. But I remembered those early days fondly, and I was desperately looking for a distraction from the grim reality of corporate learning.

So there I was, parked uncertainly at an entirely meaningless exhibition between the Marauder men’s team and the Montreal Carabins. The match wasn’t particularly close, and neither team seemed overly concerned when a ball hit the floor. But I was hooked.

There’s a certain romance about the university game that’s incredibly difficult to describe, but undeniably powerful in its appeal.

Maybe it’s the amateur earnestness of it all, the knowledge that donning the Maroon and Grey will mark the highest point of many of these athletes’ careers. Or maybe it’s the campus-level closeness that comes from the basic reality that you could be seated beside any of these athletes at a lab or tutorial the next day.

Being the newest varsity scribe on the block, some part of the appeal probably arose from the self-serving notion that I had

PHOTO C/O ANDREW HO

Tyler Santoni’s OUA Championship-winning point stands as one of the most memorable Marauder moments. a stake in all of this. I felt like Tyler Durdan at the projector. I could run the film the way nature intended it, or I could throw some spice in there for the sake of amusement alone.

Whatever the reason, that first taste of Marauder sport created an appetite that has only continued to grow as time has passed.

Even now as I write this final editorial, I find myself pining for a game to watch or a bus to jump to a decrepit country gym. The summer will be my Marauder methadone clinic.

What followed that first, epoch-making experience is history now. You can read it in the bland, matter-of-fact lines of my resume.

You can see it in the articles of years past.

But most vividly it lives in my memory as a collection of Marauder moments, snapshots brief but overpowering in their emotional intensity.

It can be found in Tyler Santoni’s mer-

ciless swing and Matt Poulin’s decimated, streaming nose.

You can spot it amid the chaos that greeted Paterson Farrell’s coolly slotted finish and Anthony Costa’s discarded jersey.

That history resides in so many such moments that have earmarked the many Marauder programs and come to most readily encompass my own McMaster experience.

Because at some point, telling the stories of the Maroon and Grey became a more important part of my academic journey than the readings and the essays.

That message is not one that University administrators would be eager to read or disseminate amongst the student population of our fair school. And I won’t go as far as to advocate sport at the expense of learning.

We are after all invested – at least financially – in an academic venture.

But I will advise those five of you read-

ing at this stage that if you should choose to allow it to do so, the Marauder spirit will consume you in the best possible way. You need not be athletically gifted in your own right, or given to scribbling as I am.

You need only to open your eyes and most importantly, your mind, to the spectacle that the Marauders offer you for so little material cost. Athletic feats themselves are only part of the appeal, only the surface layer.

Beneath it you find the desperately emotional struggle of your fellow travelers on the academic journey that is McMaster. You find individuals who dedicate themselves to a sport for no material gain and in direct opposition to their scholarly commitments.

You find survivors and competitors, the charitable and the fiercely driven.

And somewhere along the way, you might even find yourself.

S8 • THE SILHOUETTE

Year End Wra -Up

THURSDAY MARCH 29, 2012

Teams of the Year 2011/2012 Football Through injuries, numerous other set backs and a tough schedule, the 2011 McMaster Marauders will go down as the first Vanier Cup winning team in program history. In addition to the stellar play of star Kyle Quinlan, the entire team made an impact this season, finishing the entire campaign with only one loss. Winning both the provincial and national title will ensure this team’s place in school legend, and the best part remains the majority of the team will return to defend their title.

Women’s Rugby This year’s women’s rugby team had an ideal mix of youth and veteran leadership, dominating most of their opponents all the way until the CIS tournament in Peterborough, where the women brought home a proud fourth place finish. CIS rookie of the year Cindy Nelles will look to bring back similar results for her time remaining at Mac. Graduating player Natasha Turner will be missed, but Captain Maggie Cogger-Orr and numerous other veterans will return to keep this team in tact for the most part.

THE SILHOUETTE • C1

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

INSIDEOUT Make the most

production office extension: 27117 insideout@thesil.ca

of your summer vacation Cassandra Jeffery

Assistant InsideOut Editor

The term March Madness (besides the popular basketball tournament) defines only the very surface of the psychological state students find themselves suffering through during the final weeks of the school year.

The assignments are piling up, the exam preparation has begun, students are distraught over un-opened grad school letters, and social lives have become a stale, distant feature of the past. But, in all of the stress induced malnourishment and sleepless nights, we push forward on our trek because the faintest glimmer of light remains stagnant at the end of the dark, dreary tunnel.

By the end of April we can burn our note books and rejoice with a celebratory beer (or five) because we have made it through yet another year at McMaster.

For some of us, graduation ensures that we never have to suffer through March Madness again. For others, well I’m sorry, you still have years before the ringing in your ear finally subsides.

Either

way we all have the summer to look forward to and these four glorious months of hot weather and BBQ’s is exactly the incentive we need to keep our heads above water.

After eight months of hard work and dedication, the much needed summer vacation is a time for students to relax and recuperate. Although some of us will be fortunate enough to have a fantastic summer travelling around Europe, others may find themselves working two part-time jobs catering to know-itall teenagers and the elderly.

Whatever your summer excursion entails, make the most out of the four month vacation because before you know it, you’ll be clicking the solar button for five consecutive hours, trying to choose your classes for September.

If you’re graduating this year, take the time and spend the money to indulge in a well deserved grad trip. You’ve worked your ass for years, writing midterms and stressing about grades, and it’s about time you do something for yourself.

With a bit of research, you’ll f i n d that travelling can be affordable for virtually any budget.

Gallivanting around in Europe or Asia

Illustration by Joy Santiago

for a month will be pricy, but if you plan a last minute rendezvous in Cuba, you’re trip can cost you less than $1, 000 (a year’s worth of books). There are ways to get around paying full price: try purchasing a ticket on stand-by, stay in hostels, avoid touristy destinations with overpriced novelty gifts, and thoroughly search the internet for cheap deals. Plan for a trip that works within your budget and personal desires but also try to be spontaneous.

If you’re going back to McMaster for another school year and you’re not quite sure if blowing thousands of dollars on travel expenses is the best financial decision for you, then try looking into other travel options that offer bursaries.

McMaster offers several scholarships for students who wish to travel during the summer.

Countless programs for international exchange and volunteering abroad during the summer are also available. A quick google search and you’ll find literally hundreds of summer programs that are offered throughout the world and for many of these programs, students can apply for government grants or scholarships. Sure, you’ll have to actually do some volunteering abroad, but it sure beats

working at a grocery store for the summer.

For those of us following the path down two part-time jobs avenue, the summer may seem rather bleak in comparison to sightseeing in Brazil our volunteering in South Africa. Although travelling for the summer may not be a viable option, that doesn’t mean you’re summer will be any less fun or relaxing—you’ll just be a little less culturally experienced, unless you count encounter accents as a cultural experience. Sometimes, you just have to suck it up and work for the summer, whether this means going home to live with the parents or finding a job here in Hamilton, the adjustment can take work; although, on the bright side, I’m sure you’d rather be serving food then studying for exams.

If this is your unfortunate case, as is mine, then try to make the most of your summer by planning easy and affordable vacations.

Living in Sudbury, Ontario there is never any shortage of the great outdoors. Plan a camping trip with your friends and get back

to nature; there’s nothing like a night of marshmellows, cold beer, and star gazing to put you in a good mood. Renting a spot to pitch tent at one of Ontario’s many provincial parks is under $100 for the weekend. If you’re really feeling adventurous, pack up your gear, grab your friends, and set up camp somewhere secluded—the best part, it’s free!

If camping isn’t your thing, then why not plan a cross-country excursion. Borrow your parents old, beat up station wagon and drive out east to experience Canada’s seaside.

Take a two week holiday and see the west coast; Canada has a lot to offer and you can gain a lot of experience from seeing your own country before travelling to others. Whether you’re travelling across China or just taking a day trip to China Town in Toronto, your summer vacation is what you make of it. We all deserve this much needed break and there are plenty of opportunities that you can take advantage of in order to ensure you’re summer vacation is a worthwhile experience.

Sex education

Exam prep

Natalie Timperio talks about the usefulness of sex columns.

Maintaining personal health during exam season

Pg. C4

Pg. C6

C2 • THE SILHOUETTE

NerdCount

Farzeen Foda Distressed Student Favourite quote: “Ah gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.” Dr. Sheldon Cooper Describe your style: Nerd-esque What do you look for in a significant other?

Nerdy talk Glasses: Dollarama.. tight budget Calculator: Titles Bookstore Pen: Career Fair Photos by Tyler Hayward

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

THE SILHOUETTE • C3

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

FashionWatch

Community Events Donation drive: McMaster’s first annual donation drive aims to collect gently used items for the Canadian Diabetes Association. Donations boxes will be available from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. on April 9-12 Tech Free Zone: Un-plug and relax in MUSC 215 (Clubspace) on Thursday, Mar. 29 at 12 p.m.

Celebrate earth hour at Red Door with 100-mile dinner: Mar 31. at 6 p.m. St. Paul’s Hall 1140 King St. W. (Between Cline and Haddon)

Wearing your religion Forever 21 founders make Christianity fashionable Katherine George Silhouette

The concept of fashion is all about mixing and matching to create an artistic appearance that effectively reflects an individual’s personality. This concept often emits a superficial perspective which revolves solely around an individual’s external appearance However, is it possible for fashion to fulfill a meaning beyond exterior appearances?

Do-Won Chang and his wife Jin-Sook Chang, co-founders of the highly successful Forever 21, attempt to match their interest in fashion with their spiritual Christian beliefs.

The inspiration for creating Forever 21 was to provide consumers with attainable fashion pieces that are convenient, trendy and most importantly inexpensive. Forever 21 has made impressive progress since it was first founded in the United States in 1984.

Today, Forever 21 has more than 480 stores worldwide and is planning on furthering their expansion into Europe within the upcoming years.

Surprisingly, Do-Won Chang has built this incredible empire on two completely separate or seemingly separate ideals: fashion and religion.

Do-Won Chang successfully accomplishes the impossible task of harnessing his internal beliefs and values and promoting them in a highly fashionable way.

The founder and co-founder expose their Christian beliefs by inscribing the biblical verse John 3:16 on the bottom of every merchandise bag.

Each customer walks away with not only their most recent wardrobe addition, but also a piece of Christian religion, whether they realize it or not.

This particular biblical reference is taken from the Christian Bible is one of the most frequently quoted verses from the Christian Bible.

More importantly, the message behind this popular biblical verse states, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).

Do-Won Chang and Jin-Sook Chang state their intentions for emblazing this inscription on each and every merchandise bag is to show how their Christian belief has been highly influential while building their trendy fashion empire.

An interpretation into how this specific biblical reference pertains to the concept of fashion may perhaps imply that the clothing supplied by Forever 21 carries the strong spiritual belief of both Do-Won Chang and Jin-Sook Chang, and therefore is everlasting and sustains eternal life.

For some individuals Do-Won Chang’s proud and showy approach to expressing his religious beliefs is admirable. The fashion world is an incredibly cut-throat business world and it can be hard to sustain and maintain what is important.

However, there has been plenty of expected controversy over the use of a religious biblical reference for such a materialistic concept. It is incredible how something so small carries such enormous weight.

It may simply be a small accessory for Do-Won Chang and Jin-Sook Chang in comparison to their overall fashion outlook, but fashion is all about defining personality through appearance which Do-Won Chang and Jin-Sook Chang seem to accomplish quite fashionably.

TYLER HAYWARD / SENIOR PHOTO EDITOR

Major fashion industry has a background in the religious community.

C4 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

SEXandthe STEELCITY

What a sex column can teach you Natalie Timperio

Senior InsideOut Editor

Two years ago, Lindsay Jolivet, the former Senior InsideOut Editor ended her term at the Silhouette with a similar Sex and the Steel City column to this one here. She wrote – perhaps improbably – on ten things a sex column can’t teach you.

Naturally, her contentions were not without merit: as amateur journalists we are probably unqualified to provide anyone with sex advice. She proposed that instead of searching for answers, we should perhaps strive discussion about sex and all that fun stuff. I can’t say that I completely disagree with her on this point. But, of course, attempting to discuss anything sex related with other people can be difficult - sometimes impossible. We just can’t seem to get comfortable talking about sex. In closed quarters perhaps we’d venture to discuss an interesting tidbit about a recent happening with a partner, but we’re more often than not shady about the details, fearing it may freak out said friend.

There’s the fear of judgment too, of course: man-whore, hoochie mama, nympho, skeeze—these are just some of the labels we’d rather not be associated with. So how,

then, can we discuss something that we’re At first it was awkward—I won’t sugarjust too darn scared to talk about? coat it. “I can’t believe I’m writing about When I was hired at the Silhouette for this—people are going to think I do this.” the 2010-2011 year, I conversed with my “What if my parents read this? Oh my god.” coworkers about my history at the Sil. As a These are just a few of the thoughts that ran Hamilton native, in grade 11 through my head in the beI spent my first term co-op ginning stages of my time as here as an intern. When I told Senior IO Editor for the SilAs I’ve probably houette. And for the record, my coworkers this, someone said: “I heard that the Senior said before, let your the very first Sex and the Steel IO Editor in 2006 was a godfreak flag, or per- City column my parents read dess [of Sex and the Steel of mine was titled ‘Don’t haps more tamed hesitate to masturbate.’ NeedCity].” “Why?” I asked.

“Because she talked about flag, fly. Either way, less to say, they didn’t read everything.” Our conversathe first sentence—and start talking about past tion went something like that, thank goodness for that. it somewhere, with But as time moved on, I anyways. The point is, the 2006 Senior IO Editor had no got more comfortable writing someone. Or try fear when it came to writing sex. Instead, I thought writing about it.” about about sex. And this isn’t to “People may think I do this— say that the Senior IO Editor maybe I do, maybe I don’t. before wasn’t the same; she did her job, and But why should I care so much about what she did it well. other people think?” Talking about it became I guess I never really thought through easier too. If you can publically write about what being a “sex columnist” would be like it, then you sure as hell better be comfortable before I was hired on. However, I knew I def- talking about it too. And I wrote about it, and initely had shoes to fill when it came to think- wrote about it some more. So I talked about it, ing of ideas, writing and managing Sex and and talked about it some more. And I realized; the Steel City on a weekly basis. a sex column can teach you something—in

IO Tidbits Mysterious sweat A hard working adult sweats up to four gallons per day. Most of the sweat evaporates before a person realizes it’s there.

Hungry, hungry hippo A hippo can open its mouth wide enough to fit a four-foot foot tall child inside.

An ironic solution Under a British law passed in 1845, attempting to commit suicide was a capital offense. Offenders could be hanged for trying.

A Tarantino trick All of the clocks in the movie “Pulp Fiction” are stuck on 4:20.

fact, it can teach you a lot of things.

Like my predecessor, I won’t “list” them, but I will say this: have no fear. This may be easier said than done, though. But start somewhere. Don’t run your mouth with sex slurs and the like, or announce to the world that you have sex, because the sad truth is that some people will judge you. But do openly talk about it amongst friends and try your best not to fear their judgment, because the truth is, if they’re your friends they shouldn’t be judging you in the first place. And, also, they’re more than likely eager to talk about sex themselves.

Think of it this way; sex is one of the most basic, not to mention essential, functions of being human. As I’ve probably said before, let your freak flag, or perhaps more tamed flag, fly. Either way, start talking about it somewhere, with someone. Or try writing about it in an issue of the Silhouette next year. Someday Sex and the Steel City may be a forum for discussion instead of simply answering questions.

But then again, I think it may already be a likely discussion, if not a source of discussion, in which case I’m more than honoured to have provided you with two years of heated conversation.

THE SILHOUETTE • C5

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

... and a new journey begins Jonathon Fairclough Production Editor

One journey ends, another begins. And so it goes, amigos.

I started writing travel stories in response to one summer spent abroad: I was young and wide-eyed, I hadn’t the faintest clue of what I was doing, where I was going, but I came back somehow. Somehow. I was hooked, as it were, but suddenly I was living in a silly little house in Westdale, I was paying rent, I was going to potlucks.

A fundamental shift had occurred in my head, in my heart too, and it was hard to come down from that. I wrote my first article in 2010 as both a reminder of the things that happened and as a lesson for the few who read it: if it could happen to me it can happen to you.

It’s 2012 now (I’m told) and after a dozen or so travel stories I’ll be hanging up my cruddy boots to dry. That was my journey, those were my stories, and I trust that they were skimmed with a mild sense of enjoyment, perused with a hint of pleasure, and I hope, just hope, that they gradually inspired one or two people into packing their bags and hitting that long, open void that we call the road.

I once wrote about a man I met on a subway in Athens, shortly after the austerity measure riots of July this year. Athens was a mess, the cabs were on strike, graffiti everywhere, people were fighting and looting and doing whatever they could to stick it to the government, and there’s this man on the subway who can’t stop smiling, can’t stop

JONATHON FAIRCLOUGH / PRODUCTION EDITOR

Park Guell, in Barcelona, was a place that had black and white columns with sunlight peeking through. Funny, right? telling me how much he loves bees.

He was a professor who specialized in the behaviour of bees, and he’d been learning and teaching about them ever since he was a child.

He was in his late 50s, early 60s, delivering a small little bee lesson on a subway ride before he went his way. I’ll always remember him for telling me that life was pointless unless you do what you love, unless you drop everything you have to chase a goal, however unattainable, for the sake of yourself and those around you.

I’ll never forget that silly old man. I’ll never forget about his simple lesson, and after following this advice, I must be going.

It’s time to embark on a new trip, a new start you could say, pursuing what I enjoy. I love travel, I love to take shitty little photographs, I love to write about it; that’s what I’ll be doing. I don’t see any other option now that the flame’s been lit.

So to all of you, boy and girl, big and small: never give up on those plans to fly away and see the world. It seems like a daunting

concept, doesn’t it? We’re all scared, all worried about what’s out there, but the ones who accept this and fly anyway are the ones who are bound to get the most out of life. Don’t wait, don’t excuse yourself, plan now. Money might be out of line, schedules might not link up, but that shouldn’t stop you from planning, dreaming, and eventually doing. When that opportunity arises, when that chance to escape presents itself, you’ll be ready, and you’ll be on the road.

Farewell folks. It’s been a trip.

Talking with Occupy’s resident Russell scholar Sam Colbert & Jonathon Fairclough Managing Editor & Production Editor

In the corner of the student centre, among the books, blankets and the protest signs, the students of Occupy McMaster have an understanding.

The seat under the lamp belongs to Dr. Karl.

“I don’t care what you write about me in the newspaper, as long as you spell my name correctly,” joked the sage of Occupy when we sat down with him by the fireplace.

Karl Stefan Theodor Andersson was born in a post-Second World War Sweden, where he completed an undergraduate degree in philosophy at Lund University in 1976. He found his way to McMaster for graduate studies later that year, drawn by the Bertrand Russell archives in Mills library.

“I was interested in Bertrand Russell for having so much energy, a zest for life. He said he was an agnostic atheist, and I was in the psychology of religion at the time. My professor was very much into studying diaries, letters, instead of public works,” he said.

On the lapel of his jacket was a pin that read “W.W.B.R.D?” – What would Bertrand Russell do?

After a few months in Hamilton, Karl took a bus down to Harvard, spending a week at the divinity school there. He returned there that fall, staying for a year to complete a Masters in Theology. During 1978-79, completed a year of study at Berkeley. He returned to Hamilton in 1984, and again in 1987. Since then, he’s come back from Sweden almost every year to comb through the Russell archives.

He received his Doctorate degree in the philosophy of religion from Lund in 1994.

“Mac had only 7,000 students then in the ‘70s, and they were all WASPs. That’s the greatest thing here now, with all these nationalities and groups, and they are pretty peaceful,” he said.

When asked about his experiences during the anti-war movement of the 1970s and the “Occupy” movement of today, he noted: “There is one big difference. Then you had the Vietnam War, and then the civil rights movement, feminism, and, finally, the antiwar movement. It has gone from “protest” to “occupy” ... Now, you get everything little by little, and then every individual counts. If you can make more people aware of what they can do, anything is possible.”

Dr. Karl first encountered the Occupy movement on campus in late 2011 as an out-

JONATHON FAIRCLOUGH / PRODUCTION EDITOR

Dr. Karl stands by the MUSC fireplace. sider. Now, he is considered a mentor among the group: a solemn voice of maturity and responsiveness from an educated, open and adventurous mind.

Though he rents an apartment above the West End pub on Emerson Street, he spends most of his evenings at Occupy.

“What I see here is a sign that there are some students saying that we can’t be silent parts of a system that is built on a war machine, destroys the environment – the profit thinking is very short-sighted,” he said.

“You’ve got to look up and ask how we’re going to change this, not by revolution or revolt, but by evolution.”

He had planned to leave McMaster and return to Sweden in late June, but rescheduled his departure date to March 30. When we spoke with him on March 26, he said that, earlier that day, he had extended his stay again into June.

Particularly here on campus, Dr. Karl Andersson is a necessary man at a necessary time. Running into its fifth month of operation in the atrium of the student centre, Occupy McMaster is certainly in need of a connection to the social movements of decades past.

C6 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

Conquer your exam period Maintain your physical and psychological health while studying Amanda Teseo Silhouette Staff

A few weeks ago, I was stuck in traffic in front of the McMaster hospital about to turn onto Main Street West, wondering what the hold up was, when I noticed a girl walking slowly in the middle of the left turning lane.

People were honking and yelling for her to get off the street, but she remained unphased, walking forward with her head down. When I finally pulled up beside her, I rolled down my window to ask her if she was okay. Her response: “Did bad on midterm.” The blank expression on her face seemed melancholic, like all the life was sucked out of her.

As this year comes to a close, exams pile in and stress rapidly spirals upward. Being a university student is difficult; we have relationships, money, academics and family life to deal with on a regular basis. How do we navigate the remainder of this year with balance and charisma? Unfortunately, I cannot provide you with a standard method for getting by. You are going to get overwhelmed; that’s just part of life. The one thing you can take comfort in is that you are not alone.

That girl walking in the middle of the street was experiencing an extreme version of what most of us feel when we “bomb” an evaluation. It’s never worth it to put yourself in danger. Everything can be dealt with, in due time.

HubPages, a blog-type website, lays out some common problems college students face and potential ways of dealing with them.

Studying: The power of a “to-do” list is great. Listing everything you have to get done with its corresponding due date can allow you to put everything in perspective. Then, take a deep breath, and get started. Begin with an easy task to get yourself on a roll and to break the procrastination temptation. Once you finish this task, move onto a harder one.

If you find yourself stuck for a while, move on. The difficult problem will linger in your mind as you hustle through other work.

Money: “The root of all evil” is great when you have enough, but can be a source of significant stress if you are running low.

University is expensive, especially if you live

away from home. Sit down and plan out all your spending for the month. If your current funds don’t balance out with your expenses, start cutting back. This can mean simple things, like choosing brands that are on sale, packing a lunch or lessening utility usage.

In preparation for exams, I usually head to Costco in search of some great deals on cheap and healthy foods. Now that March is wrapping up, get everything in line for April.

Make sure the essentials are available for exams.

Job: Many of us are searching for summer employment. If you can, put all the stress that follows job searching on hold for the duration of exams. The worst thing is scheduling an interview immediately before or after an exam.

Sickness/Health Conditions: As mentally and often physically draining as exam period can be, it becomes especially important to maintain optimal health. Take your vitamins, avoid the temptation to live off of dry cereal, and try to remain active. First, a healthy diet means eating substantial meals that leave you satisfied and alert. For ideas, check out the Wellness@Mac newsletter circulated by the Student Success Centre (MUSC B106). Next, engaging in some form of exercise during exam period improves blood circulation and heightens concentration. Even if this means dancing around your room for ten minutes, anything that brings your heart rate up will suffice.

Relationships/Friends/Roommates: Crunch time is a “personal journey.” For some, rounding up friends for a study session may be an effective way to tackle exam preparation. For others, studying is an independent activity. Whatever your study style is, make exam period solely about academic issues. Any issues surrounding your relationships with roommates, boyfriends/girlfriends and friends shouldn’t be dealt with the night before an exam, as this may negatively affect your academic performance.

Ultimately, the exam period is your opportunity to regurgitate all the concepts you have learned throughout the year. Prepare yourself physically and mentally for a healthy and successful set of exams.

TYLER HAYWARD / SENIOR PHOTO EDITOR

If you don’t take care of yourself during exam time, you’ll burn yourself out.

THE SILHOUETTE • C7

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

It’s a war worth fighting Jason Erlich The Silhouette

What is an A.K. 47? What’s the muzzle velocity of an A.K. 47?

How many bullets fit into an A.K. 47? How does the gun work?

How do you stab someone so they don’t make a noise? How do you kill another human?

I’m not speaking philosophically; I am referring to the mechanics of these actions.

Thankfully, I don’t know the answer to any of these questions.

However, there are many 11-yearolds in the world who do. Many of these same children couldn’t tell you what they want to be when they grow up, though they have dreams.

I doubt they could tell you who plays for Manchester United or Barcelona, though they may play football.

They will never know how to take these simple pleasures for granted. And it’s doubtful that having these things would solve all of their problems. But the fact is these children learn about weapons for the purpose of hurting others –

and to keep themselves from being hurt.

These actions are not something 11-years-olds ought to know.

It’s a long way from a world where a child knows no war. But though we may be generations away from that happening, now is the time to seize the day and make that happen.

The issue of child soldiers is certainly in the public eye following the now-infamous KONY 2012 campaign, with its 100 million views, numerous critiques and unfortunate after effects for the film’s creator and narrator.

But with the issue at least gaining some momentum and attention, people – especially students – can at least try to understand how to make their time and skills useful for the issue.

It’s not just KONY 2012 and its parent organization, Invisible Children, that’s trying to help. (Full disclosure – I’m a Community Catalyst volunteer with War Child, which hires 90 per cent of its employees from the communities in which it operates).

But more important than any one organization is the raising of awareness and involvement in these issues.

It’s important to know what will actually help these issues, and it

that will help bring local peace and change.

For us at McMaster, it’s even more important for us to recognize the local connection that ties our community to the issue: Two of our most successful alumni are Dr. Eric Hoskins and Dr. Samantha Nutt, who have helped bring attention There are many to the issue through War Child and questions to ask. other avenues.

Both graduated from the MediWhat can you do cine Program at McMaster Univerfor a problem so far sity, and Dr. Nutt is a famous Arts & way? Why should I Science grad.

Dr. Nutt’s book, Damned Nacare when there are tions, is a number-one Canadian problems of povbest selling non-fiction book. She’s erty and injustice so virtually a real-life superhero and her voice has been one of the most close to home? ” critical pieces in creating positive change in war zone countries. might be surprising that sending in With over a decade of experimilitary troops to capture a bad guy ence in war-torn countries, she’s isn’t necessarily the solution. Char- gone from our community to the itable giving is a crowded market- world’s – a path I’m begging you to place, but other things like teaching follow. skill sets and providing education In the modern age of instanopportunities can be self-sustaining taneous global contact, it’s perand help bring understanding of the haps even more important to get political and economic situations involved. How can we be so at-

Stress management 101

TYLER HAYWARD / SENIOR PHOTO EDITOR

Exam season is fast approaching, and if you don’t want to end up like this guy, follow these tips.

Jeff Wyngaarden SHEC Media

Most times of the year, a casual conversation on campus will touch on work, sports, vacations planned and gone on, maybe a relationship, and perhaps the odd foray into politics or religion. But around the middle of March thoughts turn to one thing: exams.

It’s at times like this that tensions run high and stress is at a maximum. You may be concerned about that term paper or worried about making plans for the next year; perhaps you’re calculating how well you need to do on the final to get the mark you want. With work piling up and exam stress on the rise, many people find that they have less time for jobs, relationships, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle, adding to the list of anxiety-inducing factors.

Whatever your situation is, chances are you are feeling stressed, and while a certain amount of stress can help you accomplish tasks a large amount of stress can be detrimental to your health.

When times get stressful it’s important to strike a balance. Feeling stress is a normal physiological response to certain situations. It makes you more alert, gives you greater strength and sharper eyesight, and can provide you the boost of energy you need to make that final push on your work or overcome a particularly difficult obstacle to achieving your goals.

However, too much stress is undeniably a bad thing; if you are overstressed you may exhibit symptoms like insomnia, headaches,

fatigue, cold sweats, having poor concentration, or a rapid heartbeat.

When these symptoms persist over a long period of time they may have lasting negative effects on your health.

The first key to managing stress is knowing how to avoid it. A large part of this is planning for big events well in advance – maybe instead of cramming the night before you can schedule study times throughout April so that you’re prepared and well rested for that final exam.

You can also try to avoid common, daily annoyances that cause stress. Perhaps you get stressed from being late, or getting into arguments with roommates; try leaving home a few minutes earlier and resolving some of those minor disputes so that you can focus on your work.

The second key is knowing how to manage stress. Avoidance doesn’t always work – there will always be assignments and dishes piling up, and at some point you’ll feel like there just isn’t enough time in the day to get everything done. When the going gets tough, try breaking your work down into small, manageable goals that can be accomplished easily and quickly. This will make it seem like your work goes faster and will help you organize your tasks so that you know how much you need to do and how much time you need to do it. If you find that you simply can’t manage, try talking to a friend, stopping by Campus Health for some consultation or counselling, or access a campus resource that can respond to your particular need. Whether it’s

school, relationships, finances, or living arrangements, there is someone on campus who can help you and provide information on how to deal with your stressors.

Avoidance aside, it’s important to know how to make stress work for you. Knowing what stresses you out can empower you to make educated decisions about the situations you put yourself in and the tasks you take on. Maybe there are particular people that stress you out when you study with them, or there’s an assignment that is taking longer than you thought it would. Ask yourself whether each thing you’re stressed about is important and whether it’s worth worrying about, and then be active in addressing your stress.

Channel the extra energy and concentration that stress provides into finishing your work, and then take some time to relax. It may be just a two-hour movie break or a short bike ride, but a brief reprieve from the daily grind can refresh and rejuvenate you, enabling you to take on your work more efficiently.

In addition, spending time with friends can be a huge stress reliever, as long as you don’t spend the entire time talking about what stresses you out.

In the end, the most important thing to ask yourself is whether it’s worth worrying over. If the answer is no, it’s a lot easier to deal with the stress, but if the answer is yes the question becomes more complicated.

Before April begins and the exam season kicks off, make sure you have a plan for managing your stress so that you’re prepared if – and when – it comes.

tached to each other globally, yet so detached from unacceptable issues like child soldiers?

There are many questions to ask. What can you do for a problem so far away? Why should I care when there are problems of poverty and injustice so close to home?

But it’s more important to remember that when it comes to child soldiers, the options for where to turn for help are few and far between. It’s an underrepresented issue that needs our help.

My involvement as a supporter of War Child and the fight to stop the recruitment of child soldiers has helped me find passion to create a better world, especially when I think about an innocent young child being indoctrinated at a young age.

I think if we were able to substitute bad with good for these children, we could give them all kinds of positive uses for their lives.

We could create alternative positive outcomes for the children, and this could be the beginning of the end of their destructive nightmare.

C8 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 2011

THE SILHOUETTE • C9

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

BUSINESS

production office extension: 27117 business@thesil.ca

Prostitute or entrepreneur?

Analyzing prostitution from an economic standpoint

Kacper Niburski

Assistant News Editor

By coupling what appears to be the outright absurd with powerful economic insight, one can decant much of the natural world, leaving a variety of shocking conclusions.

One of these is that prostitutes demonstrate economic acumen.

While history stands as a chronicle of women’s strife in a patriarch-

al world, one profession has remained predominantly female: prostitution. This is due to the simple economic principle that high demand leads to high supply; the former of which is attributed to males’ libido as much as it is to their biological tendencies.

Apparently a man’s sexual lust goes unsatisfied and prostitution - any service at every price - serves as a release for this carnal urgency.

Hard to believe?

Economist Steven Levitt and columnist Stephen Dubner, authors of Superfreakonomics, purport that in the early 19th century, prostitution proliferated in America. Empirical evidence collected in 1912 by the Department of Justice discovered that prostitution employed 200,000 women in 310 American cities.

Restricting this number to the age of 20, approximately one and every fifty women was a prostitute. It seems that rather being forced into prostitution, women were choosing it for themselves.

Not only was there a high in-

either v o l untary through cash incentives or involuntary by economic pressures, to transfer themselves from the marital cidence of young market to the prostitution market. women in prostitution, The second reason is that prosbut Levitt and Dubner state that it was these same women who titutes practice price discrimination; were making the upper salaries of that is, the sale of an identical service transacted at a different price $76 per week.

When comparing this to women from the same provider. who only made $6 per week in non- For this to occur, two condicommercial sex labour, the question tions must be met: some customwas not why prostitution, but rather ers must be inclined to pay more than others and the seller must why not?

Forgetting the arguments of prevent resale of the product to deabuse, gender mistreatment, and a stroy any arbitrage opportunities. cycle of coercion that is otherwise The second condition is met forgotten, prostitution is an eco- automatically: sex cannot be resold.

By the same token, nomic sector like the first condition is any other.

To see this, Thus, while it is also met. If transient consumers exist it must be separagreed that in the market, that ated from other is to say those who unskilled labours. prostitution is purchase prostitutes This is because neither desired without knowing the compared to other unskilled labour, nor necessarily local prices, then the providers may maxiprostitutes are moral, it function mize the surplus they paid excessively higher wages. The like that of any extract by exploiting the customer. reason for this and is twofold. First, economic sector.” Levitt Dubner noted that prostitution has prices hiked temthe opportunity cost of marriage associated with it. porarily on the market, however, Like all things, exceptions do a variety of regular customers exist; but evidence concludes that still maintained the same going a wife cannot be a “whore”, and rate as before. For the most part, vice versa. If this is true, then pros- these hikes occurred during the titution must pay significantly more Fourth of July - making the prosthan other jobs to compensate for titutes nothing less than patriotic. the opportunity cost of foregone Yet, why aren’t wages hiked up indefinitely? This is bemarriage.

Women must be compelled, cause of the competitive market

scheme in modern prostitution.

At the uttermost extremes of the profession, there exists streetwalkers, those who are paid the least, and the escorts, those who are paid substantially higher.

Such stark wage differences within the profession are due to the fact that a streetwalker, unlike an escort, is a perfectly substitutable commodity. While both sell sex, the escort doesn’t sell sex alone. Escorts also offer social contact, scintillating conversations, and brief companionship. In a way, they are temporary trophy wives.

All prostitutes cannot be escorts, though. This stems from the fact that as one climbs the supply of prostitutes and demand of consumers, a screening process takes place.

On the supply-side, only prostitutes of the highest caliber both physically and intellectually - are possible of demanding an exorbitant price.

On the demand side, the escort’s high price signal attracts wealthy clients that perceive such rates as a sign of quality. If the rate is not justified, then the prostitute will not be paid, and will have to bid her price down until equilibrium is reached.

It should be noted then that any attempt at criminalization would fail to stifle prostitution. Instead, it will enhance it.

Rather than exacting punitive measures onto consumers, criminalization mainly targets the prostitutes - the meat on the street. This leads to a scarcity in the number of prostitutes, and according to basic supply and demand analysis, shifts the supply curve to the left.

As a response, prostitutes would now command a higher price than before, which is captured by the higher equilibrium point.

And soon, more women would be enticed into the profession.

Granted, even sex is a competitive market scheme. So while males still have the unsatiated desire for sex, there exists an opposing market, a cheaper, less stigmatized substitute: free sex.

Whether it be through extramarital affairs, one night stands, or swingers clubs, males satisfy their sexual desire by other means. For this reason, prostitution has decreased its wage earnings from the data Levitt and Dubner noted.

And because of the profit-driven nature of the prostitution industry, a decrease in wages will also result in a decrease in prostitutes because no longer is the foregone cost of marriage, nor are the risks of violence, contracting an STD, and inevitable stigma, compensated for.

Thus, while it is agreed that prostitution is neither desired nor necessarily moral, it functions like that of any economic sector: pimps are counted as firms, buyers as customers, and prostitutes as workers.

Even though few costs are associated - save for a few microskirts and high heels - the prostitute follows the demand and supply analysis as all shrewd economists would.

That is to say, literally screwing the system to derive the highest profit.

JOY SANTIAGO / MULTIMEDIA EDITOR

This Week in Business Throwing interviewees for a loop

What’s next for the Eurozone?

Companies are increasingly requesting Facebook login information during interviews.

The eurozone has shown signs of improvement, but is the upward trend temporary?

Pg. C10

Pg. C11

C10 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

Have employers gone too far?

New hiring practices implemented by some firms have many feeling that companies have crossed the line, invading applicant privacy.

New hiring practices pose ethical concerns Sonya Khanna Business Editor

Several cases have surfaced recently reporting the increasing popularity of invasive hiring practices adopted by companies.

Recent outrage surrounding these unorthodox hiring practices raises the issue as to whether employers have pushed the boundaries, engaging in a seemingly unethical means of acquiring information.

Facebook has become a crucial component to the hiring process, with many companies freely looking into open applicant profiles to gain a broader understanding of applicants.

Much to the concern of job candidates, these request have gained popularity with many large firms. In the quest to gain a broader spectrum of information on applicants, many employers have sought to use forms of social media to look into personality characteristics of applicants.

Social media, including Facebook, provide insight into your overall character, delving into personal interests, social life and analyzing how you engage in social interaction. The problem arises when firms take advantage of the vulnerability of job candidates.

According to a report by the Boston Globe, when statistician Justin Bassett interviewed for a job in New York, he was prompted to answer basic interview questions; however, was taken aback when the interviewer requested for his Facebook login information.

Bassett refused and withdrew his application. By opting out of this unorthodox request applicants will make it apparent that this is a blatant breach of privacy, an aspect to one’s personal life that need not be dissected by strangers.

It’s unnerving to think about how this may impact future job seekers. A dry job market coupled with these shrewd business practices, seem to back applicants into a corner.

Picture this ill-fated scenario: after endless job hunting, the light at the end of the tunnel is in sight and you’ve secured your first big job interview. You eagerly put your best game face on, ready to tackle any questions that may come your way.

Then the walls around you come crashing down, as you are bombarded with one question that throws you off – ‘can you please hand over your Facebook password’.

“I don’t think that this will succeed because the majority of individuals will not be keen to give their Facebook password,” says McMaster University student, Sheena Khaper. “I wouldn’t give my FB password, but then again if I really wanted to get the job, it would be difficult to turn down the request, especially if I didn’t have any other job prospects.”

This method of applicant screening raises questions surrounding the ethical nature of the practices. Recent outrange has spawned discussion for a legislation to be implemented in Illinois and Maryland, prohibiting companies from requesting such personal information.

As social media becomes an increasingly influential component of society, iffy hiring practices may continue to dissolve previous Human Resources regulations, with firms establishing new norms deemed acceptable, though potentially invasive.

With a lack of job opportunities, applicants may bite the bullet and comply with said requests. However, rather than catering to corporate ‘Nazis’, individuals can follow other methods to comply with these practices.

There’s always the option of creating a decoy Facebook profile chock-full of PG photographs, appropriate for watchful employers.

This will allow you to demonstrate what makes you a compelling candidate without shining the spotlight on irrelevant photos of youthful tomfoolery from years past - employers need not be enlightened on your keg stand abilities, as impressive as they may be.

Although, this isn’t to say that your original profile should contain a slew of scantily clad photos of yourself. If this method seems to cumbersome of a task, you always have the right to refuse.

If individuals become increasingly aware of their rights, situations such as these can be avoided While these requests may be gaining popularity, many employers still haven’t adopted this method and continued backlash may erupt if these highly unethical practices continue in the years to come.

RENEE VIEIRA / ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR

C11 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

It’s not over until the fat lady sings Only time will tell how the economy of the Eurozone will fare

The debt crisis in the Eurozone has had a negative ripple effect on economies of other countries, including the Canadian economy.

Eurozone policymakers was eased somewhat, and the matching of this with the approval of a second bailA summer of love may remain out out of €130 billion gave markets of the Eurozone’s reach these next and speculators much to be optimisfew months. tic about.

After completing the first phase However, as global headlines of a bond swap that will reduce praise the past several weeks of Greece’s debt payments by more achievements in the Eurozone than €95 billion, the tightrope walk and announce a newfound light at of Greece, private investors, the the end of the tunnel, cautious exEuropean Central Bank and other citement will still fare better than Felipe Senisterra The Silhouette

outright joy. While the threat of a full-fledged default by Greece once posed a major threat to the global economy, the region still faces threats from more than one corner which can still have worldwide implications.

While Portugal and Ireland have taken steps to move into better financial standing by way of austerity measures, such strategies have constrained consumer activity and

business development in many sectors of their economies, as well as create turmoil with labour strikes.

Both countries are expected to once again be able to raise money in capital markets by the end of the year, but the wringer Greek creditors have been put through will make it incredibly difficult for these two countries to issue debt at favourable rates. The next few months will surely tell if these two challenges be met appropriately.

Positive signs in Greece, as well as Portugal and Ireland, of late, are also still balanced by activity in Italy.

There, a recently elected Mario Monti struggles to convince unions and other politicians to accept his proposed economic reform. Elsewhere in Spain, the economy is now in its second recession since 2009.

Both countries will have their work cut out for them in the coming months, as they seek to prove to voters, neighboring countries and global markets that they are on the gradual road to recovery - or, at the very least, have a map.

Looking forward, what remains to be seen is whether fiscal accounts in such countries can be improved despite economic contraction and increases in unemployment, as well as whether the financial volatility can be cushioned enough to boost consumer and business confidence.

Policymakers will continue to be on thin ice in the coming months, as the benefits of recent achievements remain fragile, and economies still have much work to do. In Greece, major portions of support funds that have been granted will need to be committed to the support of growth and the re-capitalization of banks who suffered major losses in the debt swap, especially before government dissolves to prepare for an election in mid-spring.

However, the time leading up to such an election, as is usually the case, can easily be wasted with pol-

itical gridlock and make reform and austerity measures very difficult.

Productive political action in this matter, as well as with regards to the preparations for the second bailout, will be crucial.

Elsewhere, the rest of the PIIGS nations must continue working to regain both stability and the confidence of the Eurozone and global economies. Portugal, with €23 billion of its debt maturing this summer, is likely geared towards expensive refinancing, meaning ensuing additional austerity measures will demand even more precision from its policymakers.

And Ireland, Italy and Spain must continue striving to meet GDP deficit targets set by Eurozone finance ministers, as daunting (and, sometimes, unrealistic) as those targets may be, in order to promote stability in the region and in global markets.

The Eurozone – and those elsewhere who are heavily exposed to its financial struggles – are not completely out of the woods yet.

Analysts at TD Economics still project Portugal, Italy, Ireland, Greece and Spain to experience economic contraction this year, and it is reasonable to expect policy reforms and fiscal changes to be a recurrent theme in the entire Eurozone over the next few years.

While the risk of a widespread crisis amid the possibility of an outright default in Greece has been contained for the time being, the Eurozone still has much to prove in terms of how it will contribute to global growth in the coming years.

Some positive momentum has been established recently, but it can just as easily swing upwards as downwards this summer.

The narrative in the Eurozone has become somewhat more upbeat lately, but hopefully the future there will be an even more optimistic story to tell.

Did you know?

The average office workstation has 400 times more bacteria than the average office toilet? ...I’m going to miss this office!

C12 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2011

HAMILTON & DISTRICT EXTEND-A-FAMILY VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES “SHAR E A S P E C I A L F R I E N D S H I P ! ”

B U D DY P ROGRAM

MARKET ST. ARENA TUESDAY, APRIL 3RD 6PM TO 8PM

BUSES FROM IWC STARTING AT 4:45PM BBQ STARTS AT 5PM AFTER PARTY AT TWELVEIGHTY AT 9PM TICKETS ALLOW LINE BYPASS $5 TICKETS AVAILABLE FROM GRADUATE STUDENTS OR KIN SOCIETY OFFICE

We have over one hundred children and teens with special needs waiting to spend time with a volunteer buddy. Matched buddies spend eight hours a month pursuing a hobby, playing sports, or enjoying other activities in the community.

Gain volunteer experience, have fun, and share a special friendship with a young person with special needs!

RECREATION PROGRAM We offer a minimum of six recreation events each month, providing respite and opportunities for fun and friendship in the community.

We bowl, play laser-tag, go rock-climbing, and challenge each other in all sorts of fun ways.

We have a great bunch of volunteers who assist at these events and are always happy to welcome more!

INTERESTED? V I S I T O U R W EB-SITE, FIND US ON FACEBOOK OR CONTACT US! w w w. e x tendafamilyhamilton.synthasite .com 905.383.2885 e a f @execulink.com (Buddy Program) e a f . c o n n e ct@gmail.com (Recreation Program)

Every Canadian citizen had the right to vote through the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

1:3 Canadian women and 1:6 Canadian men will experience sexual assault in their lifetime.

45% percent of female college and university students say they’ve been sexually assaulted since leaving high school.

The victim and the accused are known to each other in 82% of cases – as friends, acquaintances or family

But… I am not alone!

SACHA (Sexual Assault Centre, Hamilton& Area) is there with 24-hour confidential support, information or accompaniment @

905-525-4162

www.sacha.ca

Voting is frequently inaccessible to those with physical and sensory disabilities.

DOES PUBLIC ATTITUDE LIMIT FREEDOM OF CITIZENSHIP? Student Accessibility Services 905-525-9140 ext 28652 | TTY 905-528-4307 sas@mcmaster.ca | sas.mcmaster.ca McMaster University Student Centre (MUSC) B107

cheech & chong • hunger games twelfth night • taiko drums

andex

thursday, march 29, 2012

Senior Editor: Jemma Wolfe Entertainment Editor: Myles Herod Music Editor: Josh Parsons

Contributors: Cooper Long, Paul Fowler, Chelsea Rothwell

Cover: Jonathon Fairclough

coming up

mar.31

Miramichi This Ain’t Hollywood 9:00 p.m.

apr.1

Wax Mannequin This Ain’t Hollywood 9:00 p.m.

apr.3

Sandro Perri The Molson Canadian Studio 8:00 p.m.

Buckman Coe Homegrown Hamilton 8:00 p.m.

The Sunshine Boys Player’s Guild of Hamilton 8:00 p.m. 80 Queen St S. Hamilton, ON. (905) 529-0284 The Full Monty Theatre Aquarius 8:00 p.m. 190 King William Street Hamilton, ON (905) 522-7529

film

now

mar.30

The Reason The Casbah 9:00 p.m.

may 4-19

mar.29

The Dirty Nil The Casbah Lounge 9:00 p.m.

theatre

may 9- jun.10

mar.29

New Hands This Ain’t Hollywood 9:00 p.m.

apr.4

music

andy’s ticks

opening

in the hammer

madonna’s saggy ass, snoop dogg’s doggystyle, sam colbert, male face, 2 years of j & m, chocolate spice tea, the end of the worst semester ever, the end of an era, potluck, b+, sexy gardening shirt, the effects of gamma rays on the man-in-the-moon marigolds, does this rag smell like chloroform?, goodbye fuckas

“Step forward and enter”

Intruders Mirror Mirror Bully

this week in music history...

March 29, 1980 1980, Pink Floyd’s ‘Dark Side Of The Moon’, spent its 303rd week on the US album chart, beating the record set by Carole King’s Tapestry.

• The void

next year, write for andy meetings are held on tuesdays at 2:30pm in musc b110 e-mail your submissions to andy@thesil.ca

editorial

thursday, march 29, 2012

When ending an interview for television or print, the great film critic Gene Siskel always liked to conclude with the same final question: what do you know for sure? Well, given my three years spent with the Silhouette, I’ve come to learn that writing entertainment criticism is an art in and of itself. To work in a team like ANDY was a tremendous opportunity to share my beliefs about ‘good’ art with the rest of McMaster. I know I have my parents to thank, specifically my dad and his hippy past, affording me eclectic tastes in all things culture. I know the coolest movies are the ones that broke the rules (ex. America’s ‘New Hollywood’ era). For music, it’s simple: BSB (Beatles, Stones, Bowie). In all seriousness, though, outside of a person’s love, the most sacred thing they can give is their labour. Any time that you can combine the two you’ve made a merger that defines a moment in your life.

Certainly the Silhouette is an invaluable example, and I send my love and gratitude to all those I shared it with. It’s been a trip I’ll never forget.

• Myles Herod, Entertainment Editor

the silhouette’s art & culture magazine • D3

It is strange to think that a mere eight months ago we assumed our new roles at the Silhouette, embarking on the rollercoaster that became Volume 82. With the rosecoloured glasses of retrospect, I forget the late nights, the stress of (failed) attempts to balance work and school and the one disastrous trip to Victoria (#barfipelago). I’ll remember instead the good things – the things that really matter, like ANDY’s incredibly dedicated volunteer base and “Rock the Casbah”-themed meetings, production night heart-to-hearts with the Sil’s fantastic staff and the readers, who make it all worthwhile at the end of the day (hey, family – yeah, I’m talking to you). The Silhouette certainly represents an office, a second home and a group of friends I’ll be glad to return to this fall. Until September, cheers to Myles and Josh, who got me through the year, to Brian, who steered the ship, and to the whole team, who made every Wednesday one to remember.

• Jemma Wolfe, Senior ANDY Editor

If you’re reading this, it means I’m unemployed - my final stain soaking into the annals of the Silhouette with each line you read. I’m not sure how many curious future editors will uncover my articles, but it’s neat to know that my name will be etched into the back-room tomes for decades to come. I had this realization a few weeks ago, flipping through volumes from the early ‘90s. I was flabbergasted by the interviews they landed, heroes of mine like Sonic Youth, Bad Brains and Pavement. I started thinking that a decade down the road, maybe some bored Sil employee will stumble across my interviews and have the same feeling; that provided some closure. Our vision this year was to push ANDY to a new level of content and design, and I think that Jemma, Myles and I followed through with our goal. To any readers who noticed, the three of us send our greatest thanks.

• Josh Parsons, Music Editor TYLER HAYWARD / SENIOR PHOTO EDITOR

tickling the staff

what is your favourite memory of this year at the Silhouette?

compiled by jemma wolfe & tyler hayward

“potlucks”

“brian’s late night profanity” sonya khanna

fraser caldwell

“decade music” cassandra jeffery

“‘i’ll make it last forever; it’ll never be over’” dina fanara

“covering the vanier cup” angus mcleod

D4 • the silhouette’s art & culture magazine

thursday, march 29, 2012

this

legendary

duo

talkin’ politics and bongs with chong When you think of Tommy Chong, the first thing that strikes your mind is an image of the paradigmatic stoner, halo of smoke and all. While there are obvious reasons for that, few know Tommy Chong as himself, an intensely political and wildly intelligent person.

His career spans six decades, beginning in the music industry as a member of a chart-topping pop group and culminating in worldwide fame as one half of the infamous comedy duo, Cheech & Chong. However, Chong is perhaps most recognized in the 21st century for his high profile jail term and following public activism.

In 2003, Chong’s son was targeted by the federal program Operation Pipe Dreams and busted for selling drug paraphernalia. Tommy owned the company and took the responsibility for the charge. “It wasn’t at all a drug bust.

It was a bong bust. I had the drug thing totally taken care of; I had my medical card, my license.

When they told me it was for bongs I was fucked.

Guilty,” he laughed.

Still, the feds insisted on searching his house from top to bottom. “They gave me that old routine though, you know: ‘tell us where it is and we’ll be outta here faster. I was like, ‘every room in the house.’” Chong was arrested and subsequently sentenced to 9 months in prison and a given a fine of $20,000.

“They had a chance to take a stoner like me down—I’m a right-wing wet dream. While I’m walking around touting the joys of pot-smoking, these guys are looking to put black and brown people in jail for life for just having possession of a joint.” Ironically, Chong seems to have enjoyed doing time.

“Jail was pretty good,” he laughed candidly. “I treated jail like a religious retreat, you know. There were the Catholics and the Protestants and a Jewish synagogue too. I eventually

ended up with the First Nations folks at the sweat lodge ceremonies.” The experience was so positive that Chong was inspired to document it in a book, The I Chong: Meditations from the Joint.

“I used to pretend that the guards were my waiters when I was sunbathing,” he continued to recount. “I’d say ‘hey man, can you get me a sandwich and a glass of water,’ and they would. When you’re sixty five years old you’re age-exempt from everything in jail. I would just sit around and read a book all day.”

Following his release from jail, Chong found himself in the public spotlight once again.

Soon enough, he was tossing around the idea of a reunion with his comedic other-half, Cheech Marin. It was quickly made official and the infamous duo took their seasoned act on tour.

“It was weird getting back on stage with Cheech again after all these years. I told him we both looked like fifth-place finishers in a Cheech and Chong lookalike contest,” Chong admitted.

Cheech & Chong will be hitting the road again this spring, passing through Hamilton on April 19 – one day short of 420. “We have a little bit of new stuff and a lot of old stuff.

Cheech and I, we have over 100 characters, so when we do the live show, anything can happen,” he promises.

He seemed particularly enthused to stop in our wonderful city, which apparently has accumulated quite the reputation over the years.

“Hamilton is a crazy place. We love Hamilton.

I’m not sure if they still do this, but they had this great thing where they would throw cans up on the stage while we performed.”

Be sure to catch the legendary Cheech & Chong before these aging comics go up in smoke themselves.

• Josh Parsons, Music Editor

is

’ n i l k l i o st m s cheech speaks celebrity jeopardy, martin scorsese and immigration Comprising one half of the famed ‘70s duo Cheech & Chong, Richard ‘Cheech’ Marin comes equally accomplished. From pot toking stoner to Don Johnson’s cop sidekick to playing Chicano priests in Robert Rodriquez movies, he’s done it all.

Having re-teamed with his old compadre, Tommy Chong, the two are performing once again, wafting their signature off-brand comedy throughout their aptly titled ‘Get It Legal’ tour across North America.

I recently had a chance to chat with Cheech, who cheerfully reflected on his storied career in film, television, and a two-time stint on Celebrity Jeopardy. “It’s as nervous as you’ll ever be in show business. At least for me, because you can really look like a dummy,” he said.

Modesty aside, the presumed pothead infamously outscored CNN anchor Anderson Cooper in an episode that attained viral popularity.

In what he called a ‘shellacking,’ Cheech abridged the incident, and his bemused opponent, with playful brevity.

“It was nice. He’s a very nice guy,” he said.

“He’s just a little slow, ya know?”

Talk inevitably shifted to his blunt-burning rise as a counter-culture comedian, forever paired with Tommy Chong. With them back on the road, I questioned their decision to reunite in 2012.

“You know, we still enjoy touring and playing in front of the folks and going to places we haven’t been for a little while, or maybe ever. It’s fun to get out there and be among the people because what I missed is being able to go from city to city and feel the pulse of the nation, or you know, the country, or North America, or wherever we are,” he said.

After a successful slew of records and films in the 1970s, Cheech parted ways with Chong in 1985, reflecting “we got sick of each other.” When referring to his kindred counterpart today, he proclaimed their reconciliation as “one of the easiest things I’ve ever done,” comparing it to riding a bicycle – “you don’t forget.”

In terms of comedy duos, he had some interesting, albeit experienced insight as well.

He said, “You really have to actually get along, compromise and harmonize in a certain way, which we do automatically no matter whether we love each other, hate each other, never seen each other. As soon as we get together are two voices go together.

I mean, it’s just one of those things, like the Everly Brothers or something.”

After their initial spilt, Cheech “concentrated on doing everything that didn’t have a big joint in it,” utilizing his put-on Chicano accent for more family friendly entertainment. “Ironically, the thing that really started busting me out in different areas was doing voices for Disney cartoons.”

After 1988’s Oliver & Company, Cheech found his way to television, spending six years on what he described as “one of the best times of my life” playing Inspector Joe Dominguez on Nash Bridges with former Miami Vice heartthrob, Don Johnson.

With Cheech currently starring in Rob Schneider’s new CBS sitcom Rob, I was curious to know if he still dabbled in the ‘herbal grass’ of his past. “Every once in a while. When you get older, ya know, the recovery period is a little bit longer.” He added, “It’s this past two, three generations choice of intoxicant. Aside from saying nothing is good for you, I think pot is much better than alcohol.” As he hails from Los Angeles, my final questions pertained to directing – something Cheech attempted with his underrated 1987 film, and subsequent music video, Born In East LA – comedically commenting on the plight of immigrants in America.

However, two years prior, auteur Martin Scorsese placed both Cheech & Chong in his nocturnal mind trip, After Hours, affording them an experience that was “very enlightening.” He concluded, “e went there and did our bit and he worked exactly like we did – very improvisationally.

It was great in that we realized, here’s one of the biggest, world-class directors that there is, working exactly as we do. It was an inclination for us to think that ‘hey, we belong here in the big time.’”

• Myles Herod, Entertainment Editor

D6 • the silhouette’s art & culture magazine

Nagata Shachu The School of the Arts Celebrity Concert Series hosted Japanese taiko drum group Nagata Shachu in Convocation Hall on Friday March 23.

I think it’s safe to assume that before Nagata Shachu began rocking McMaster during their repeat campus visits, the walls of Convocation Hall had never shook so hard.

No, really – the display cases of antique memorabilia that line the walls were actually humming they were vibrating so violently.

“Taiko,” which literally translates to “drum” in Japanese, has evolved to mean the percussion-heavy style of music that Nagata Shachu loves to perform. Under the direction of experienced musician Kiyoshi Nagata, Nagata Shachu’s appearance was a thundering performance of impressive discipline and physicality.

Five musicians played 13 songs that took listeners on a journey: each song had a deeper meaning, a metaphorical level or a deep concept. “Araumi” was about a stormy sea; “Hon Choshi” was a shadowy, mysterious story; “Harukoma” was about the first steps young colts take in springtime.

Contrary to my expectations, the instruments Nagata Shachu used were more diverse than just drums.

There was the shinobue bamboo flute, the hyotan gourd shakers, the shamisen silk-string guitar-like instrument

campus performance

thursday, march 29, 2012

and a Buddhist bell complimented the taiko drums. Some songs even included melodic voice segments; most songs had some shouting and call-and-response choruses.

The most memorable element of the show was its sheer volume (no mics necessary), which admittedly gave me a headache part way through. I certainly sympathized with the elderly man in front of me who discreetly attempted to plug his ears.

Nagata Shachu was definitely a show worth seeing, although I doubt I’d make a return visit. The majority of obviously repeat audience members who excitedly waited for the show to begin and screamingly cheered each song, however, would disagree with me.

• Jemma Wolfe, Sr. ANDY Editor

JOY SANTIAGO / MULTIMEDIA EDITOR

Twelfth Night The McMaster Thespian Company’s Twelfth Night ran from March 21 to 24 at Robinson Memorial Theatre.

JOY SANTIAGO / MULTIMEDIA EDITOR

Cliff Murphy is a teacher – you can see it in everything he puts his hands to. His latest contribution to community theatre, as the director of McMaster Thespian Company’s production of Twelfth Night, is a perfect example.

Selecting new and emerging actors, creating a playful environment for them to grow in and composing original background music to execute his vision are just a few of the ways in which Murphy made this Shakespeare classic his very own.

Murphy’s vision was to have the plot come alive through the chemistry of the characters. Although the delivery of Shakespeare’s cumbersome poetry was not without its difficulties, a deliberate and natural playfulness extended into the nonverbal interaction between characters.

The leading ladies of this production, Viola/ Cesario (Kelly McLaughlin) and Olivia (Samantha Curtin), create a believable and tense dynamic. McLaughlin’s gender-bending role within a role is a particularly tough one, and she nails it.

The comedic trio — the Clown (Matt Andalaro), Sir Toby (Abdul Shehata) and Sir Andrew (Ben Wimmers) — provided an original slapstick spin on their characters that felt organic and kept the audience belly laughing from start to finish.

Mindfully using the stage and all of its props, his body language, facial expressions and a mastery of iambic pentameter, the Duke Orsino (Michael Patricelli) commanded every part of the audience’s attention.

His character was complex, believable and both subtly and emphatically satiric as necessary.

As was to be expected, MTC veteran AJ Haygarth stole the show in his tortured rendition of Lady Olivia’s head servant, Malvolio. His unmatched depth of character did not go unnoticed.

Murphy’s production of Twelfth Night’s demented love triangle was a laugh-inducing romp that proved yet again the timelessness of Shakespeare’s humour and brilliance.

• Chelsea Rothwell

album reviews

thursday, march 29, 2012

the silhouette’s art & culture magazine • D7

featured throwback review

’s

y and

‘90s s

Can Tago Mago (1971)

k

pic

HHHHH Album covers can often be misleading, giving the listener an odd frame of reference for the music they are about to hear. To boil it down and get proverbial, you can rarely judge a book (or album) by its cover.

However, sometimes bands just get it right, and the visual reference they provide so accurately accentuates the music that the record becomes an experience capable of dissolving our sensory boundaries. Can’s monolithic double-LP Tago Mago is a prime example of such a record

It’s the first in a trilogy of legendary albums that cemented Can as the ideological forerunners of Germany’s blossoming Krautrock movement, and it was also the first to feature the bands primal frontman Damo Suzuki, who the band found busking in the street.

Whirr Pipe Dreams

HHH

Suzuki’s idiosyncratic stream-of-consciousness vocal style defines the first half of Tago Mago as he howls over-propulsive and nuanced jams. The second half of the album delves deeper in to the unconscious, featuring experimental musical pastiches sutured together using fragment of jams that the sound engineer secretly recorded.

The album leaves the listener with a feeling only rivaled by religious revelation. It’s been said by the band members themselves that this album has magical qualities, that rituals are coded into the mix of the record. Forty years later, the magic is still as lush as the day it was released.

• Josh Parsons, Music Editor

Joel Plaskett Scrappy Happiness

1. “Pennyroyal Tea” Nirvana 1993 2. “Juicy” Notorius B.I.G. 1994 3. “I’m Wondering” The Skydiggers 1993 4. “Then Comed Dudley” The Jesus Lizard 1991 5. “D’You Know What I Mean?”

HHHH

Oasis

1997

6. “I Like” Kut Klose 1995 7. “Shut the Door” Fugazi 1990 8. “Good Vibrations” Marky Mark 1991 Pipe Dreams captures both the opportunities and pitfalls of reproducing a well-established style. With its effects-soaked guitars, the album is prototypical shoegaze. In particular, the band fully exploits the blissful counterpoint between ethereal vocals and overwhelming distortion. It doesn’t matter that the lyrics are mostly indecipherable.

The haunting voices of Alexandra Morte and Loren Rivera convey unquenchable longing, with the chorus of “Flashback” being especially hard-hitting. Pipe Dreams skillfully balances such melancholy moments with more up-tempo material. Lively drumming carries “Junebouvier” and “Bogus,” while “Home Is Where My Head Is” is the song most likely to coax shoegazers off their effects-pedals and onto the dancefloor. Unfortunately, in following such a specific formula Whirr sacrifice developing their own identity. As a result, there is a persistent temptation to skip Whirr’s imitation and simply return to the genre’s classics. Whirr clearly worships these albums, but the band could have done more for the vitality of shoegaze by pointing the style in new directions.

• Cooper Long

Joel Plaskett has been the poster boy for east coast Canadian rock for nearly twenty years, and although his expansive discography rarely challenges standard pop conventions, Plaskett has established himself as one of Canada’s most dependable musicians. Scrappy Happiness is everything fans have come to expect from Plaskett – a satisfying and extremely catchy mixture of gritty guitar riffs and breezy acoustic rockers that’s a perfect match for cold beers on a sunny summer afternoon.

“You’re Mine”, which sounds like a reincarnation of Joel Plaskett circa 1995, doesn’t hide its influences as the triumphant chorus proclaims, “The needles drop on Husker Du ... it’s 1995!” On the wistful “Harbour Boys”, one of the strongest acoustic tracks in Plaskett’s entire discography, Joel declares, “I’ll lose myself in everything I love.”

Plaskett fans will be losing themselves in Scrappy Happiness, a record that proves there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a predictable sound.

• Paul Fowler

9. “Dry the Rain” The Beta Band 1998 10. “Gz & Hustlas” Snoop Dogg

1994

11. “Nightswimming” R.E.M 1993

D8 • the silhouette’s art & culture magazine

thursday, march 29, 2012

THE HUNGER GAMES A STREAMLINED DOSE OF SCI-FI DOOM The Hunger Games Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Stanley Tucci Directed by: Gary Ross

HHH Sourced from a series of popular teen-lit novels by Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games could have easily succumbed to the wretched excess and brain-dead nothingness of the Twilight franchise.

Fortunately, at about 20 minutes in, director Gary Ross’ adaptation makes it clear that consideration was procured for its cinematic crossover, affording depth rather than the expense of a cashed-in afterthought.

Stretched across a two and a half hour span, the film’s alternative universe begins in District 12, a rural, working-poor slum that Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) calls home.

Consciously or not, the texture and dankness of the backwater setting echoes Lawrence’s Oscar nominated role in Winter’s

Bone, complete with shaky cam, bedraggled locales and the image of Katniss mothering her younger sister Prim (Willow Shields) in the surrounding decay.

Despite some significant ho-hum clichés of Hollywood’s ubiquitous grasp, the sense that director Ross has a lean vision for his fantastical setting (fastened in real-world plight) makes for a credible thrust of highconcept duality between entertainment and creativity.

With most of North America obliterated, the land of Panem still remains, governed by an opulent totalitarian regime situated in the “Capitol.”

Every year, the “powers that be” (headed by a sinister, and always superb, Donald Sutherland) summon one boy and girl from each of the 12 districts to compete as “tributes” in a gladiatorial clash of death.

When young Prim’s name is called to lead, Katniss nobly takes her place, partnered with the male tribute, Peeta (Josh Hutcherson), a physically fit but weak-willed bread-boy, seemingly naive for survival.

Relying on her archer instincts and

the mentorship of a drunken former Hunger Games victor, Haymitch Abernathy (Woody Harrelson sporting a blonde, Kurt Cobain wig), Katniss is literally throw into a war-torn hell where fate and fatality tango.

When stripped from its phenomenal popularity, The Hunger Games basically boils down to familiar storytelling. Apart from the obvious comparison to Kinji Fukasaku’s bloodsoaked cult piece Battle Royale, one can point out borrowings from the lovable ‘80s cheese of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s The Running Man, Peter Weir’s prophetic The Truman Show, and even scrapings of Goosebumps, a televised teenage horror program of the 1990s.

It helps that both Ross and author Suzanne Collins penned the screenplay together. The content is thematically dark, and its allegorical elements are finely executed, highlighting the way in which the televised ‘games’ critique today’s obsession with reality entertainment.

The depicted on-air bloodbath represents the Capitol’s twisted idea of cultural normality, disturbingly serving as a timely

and effective parable of today’s perverse couch potato comfort.

Oddly, my favourite parts of the film have nothing to do with its carnage or combat, but rather Philip Messina’s production design. Impressive in creating bold setpieces and corrupt decadence, The Hunger Games’ off kilter look comes personified in Stanley Tucci’s role as Panem’s televised host, Cesar Flickerman.

Channeling the Joker and a pill popping Jay Leno, he interviews each challenger before battle, embodying the film’s eccentric style in an arena akin to American Idol.

Like any movie of this magnitude, there are portions to nit-pick. The climax is forced, and the life-saving plot devices are contrived, but it’s tolerable because Ross commendably pushes the film as far as it can go.

While it’s not art, there’s something encouraging about a well-executed adaptation of pop fiction that plays to the fans as well as the uninitiated.

• Myles Herod, Entertainment Editor

THE SPECULATOR • DD1

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

STUDENT FINDS WI-FI HOTSPOT!

You Won’t believe where it was!

THE HAMILTON

SPECULATOR

©

SUMMER IS HERE

and people are fired up!

LEAKEd PHOTOGRAPHS! his last moments!

We break down a century-long secret: Why fire can’t be trusted

Bum Reporter BRUTAL DEATH

KINGSLEY MORRIS FOUND Joe DEMANDS IN a STUDIO DNA test for APARTMENT Floor-janitor with another love Child

DEAD

ALL IN THE

Family

- claims that there were many stains on bathroom floor, not only his own

PLUS

HIS UNBELIevABLY DISGUSTING SEXUAL FETISH!

WOMAN! THREAT COUNT

Coy Duo reel in

the everyday attire of tomorrow’s

the ultimate

sexual predator

FISH PUNs PLUS

Kris me’s so d n t a H hcoa

c Tren olution rev

Shocking eel photos that will tip the scales

Find out exactly what perverts will have in their

barely legal wardrobes.

afford to miss!

Gil: “If you find a better one, let minnow.”

Crooked Classifieds

AND MORE!

HEAR IT HERE FIRST

Who has learned the most?

Disclaimer: Stories printed in The Hamilton Speculator are fact. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is likely intentional and done out of spite. Opinions expressed are those of The Speculator and if you disagree with them you are wrong. And stupid. Possibly ugly as well.

www.thespeculator.com

forecast you can’t

March 29, 2012 $3.99 US / $7.49 Canada

the one weather

DD2 • THE SPECULATOR

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

OR AT e UL iv EC us SP excl

HE was alive hours before he died - Kingsley morris shock

Despised by many and liked by few, he put the “gas” in “orgasm.”

BEAUTIFUL COURTSHIP

In 2006 Kingsley was sued for won her suit when the court libel by a six-year-old child found that she did, in fact, not beauty pageant winner, who have working male genitalia.

Bahbra Morris Speculator

K

ingsley Morris is dead, and I have no bad feelings one way or the other. As his former wife and bridge partner, you’d think that I couldn’t write an objective article about the “man” that was Kingsley… you would be wrong. I am also a reporter, a damn good reporter if you ask me, and I’m well versed in the ethics of the industry, even if Kingsley wasn’t.

I have been told by the doorman of Kinglsey’s apartment that the smell alone was foul, let alone the sight of the jacuzzi.

Though fragments of what happened the other night have filtered in, I have done my best to relay this information as candidly as possible and in a straightforward manner.

I will do my best to avoid the parts that make Kingsley seem sensible and have embellished some details that make him look like the flaming bag of shit that he really was.

I will dispense these details in point form, as I am aware that readers of Kingsley’s work aren’t necessarily the brightest people in the world. I’ll also include footnotes for long and intricate words, to better understand the boy that became a reporter.

Kingsley was discovered by an animal handler at his studio apartment on March 27. The animal handler, who was delivering 2 alpacas and a family of North African deep-burrowing gerbils, let himself into the apartment and quickly notified police of an overly pale, surprisingly underweight man who was dead on the toilet.

Police discovered a 30’ long humancentipede consisting of blow-up dolls, superglue and chocolate pudding. They’re still unsure how it was constructed with such detail and how (if any) there is any link between the centipede and the death in question.

Morris had a number of opened prophylactic wrappers around the toilet, with an unmentionable amount of organic specimens caked on them. Forensics is still trying to discover how he managed to acquire plutonium ore and industrialgrade solvents with little to no money or common sense.

There was one Buddhist monk present when police arrived. He seemed

unphased by the police’s entrance and continued to hum for several hours before his mother picked him up in a golf cart.

A woman claiming to be his “anonymous source” for an imminent story was brought into custody for soliciting sex from an on-scene police officer, who arrested her shortly after completing the transaction.

Kingsley did have his merits, of course, as any man who donated a third of his yearly earnings to charity would. I believe he would have earned more respect if said charity was not one dedicated to advancing the stripping careers of innercity female youths. His donations alone were responsible for 134 new professional strippers in 2011, which were a blessing in hindsight of the November clothing factory fires.

Morris can summarily be described as a kind of fungus that grows between your big and adjacent toes, but much like that fungus, he scared off potential suitors and went great with linguini.

I would wish him luck in hell, but he has already been to Caledon once.

It’s not mine and I can prove it!

Mac janitor insists that he has never seen that floor before TIBERIUS SLICK Speculator

F

amily-value advocates around the country were in an uproar last night as a dispute arose over the legitimacy of paternity surrounding a McMaster University floor baby.

Sarah McTile, the mother who brought the case forward, and veteran bathroom floor, claims that the janitor, Joe Serif, is the biological father to her new baby, Sam.

“There is absolutely no way that I am the father. It’s an absurd thought! I’ve seen countless guys leave their baby-making matter on that bathroom floor. It could be any one of hundreds of virile men,” said Joe when confronted by the press.

Mr. Serif declined the opportunity to test his DNA against the young Sam’s, citing his constitutional right to bring any grievous concerns to the House of Commons floor, a floor he claims is “much more trustworthy and far less of a dirty slut.”

Serif claims to know the true identity of the floored father, from matching key genetic markers between the baby and regular bathroom

patrons. “Any son of Serif would have a prominent unibrow and bum leg. It may be a bathroom baby but it ain’t no baby o’ mine,” said Serif.

The Speculator team went to the sperm-painted scene in an attempt to gather clues towards the true father’s identity. Found among the various condom wrappers and empty pen casings were seventeen meticulously-shaven Ken doll leg pairs, a patterned rag that forensics confirmed was used for both forehead decoration and fecal wiping, in reverse order, and one urine-drenched pregnancy test, which seemingly had an earphone jack forced into its side.

The Speculator later confirmed that the pregnancy test did not, in fact, play any music.

The dispute is set to go to court later this month, as a grounded legal team begins to build a case against Mr. Serif and the establishment that employs him, Mcmaster University, on the grounds of gross negligence, child support payments, and abhorrent bathroom cleanliness.

Sam Serif declined comment.

64% See more floor baby facts online at www.thespeculator.ca

of bathroom babies in the world are fatherless

THE SILHOUETTE • DD3

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

220 Yonge Street Toronto, Ontario (416) 598-8560

Come quickly to the quintessential pillar of Toronto history, and get your chance to experience our worldwide assortment in a mouthful.

THREAT Fire loses its shit

COUNT S Intent-concealing trenchcoat: 5 years in prison Secret bag of candy: $2.99 Zipperless Pants: Eternity in Hell

Bring out the raw predator inside: With this thrifty but nifty guide, you can know exactly how long you’ll pay for your crimes.

damage occurred to him, however, his wife didn’t have the same luck.

After fifteen minutes with the inferno, all that was left of her was a torched body. To this day, Jones claims that the fire raped her too, because there were no clothes on her left on her charred body – although evidence has yet to prove such an assertion.

Of course, some may consider these just hiccups in an otherwise symbiotic relationship.

They point to the fact that we let fires culture spread, and our culture spreads because of it.

The Bible is rife with allusions to fire. God showed himself as fire to Moses. Jesus instilled “fire in the lungs” of his apostles to broaden his message.

The end of days described in Revelations is coupled with “fire and brimstone.” Let’s not forget that Hell is depicted as a crucible of fire.

What is fire planning? It outnumbers us 500 to 1, not to mention it controls the fire in our firepower. If fire wanted to, it could end us all. It could turn Earth into

Hell. Who knows? Maybe it already has, and the idea hasn’t sparked in our minds yet.

Speaker for the Fire Legion’s Assembly of Red and Ember (FLARE), Red Hot, stressed not to worry. He told reporters that the burning of Rome or San Francisco wouldn’t happen again. “It was a mistake,” he said while flickering on and off. “We are a peaceful and warm form of combustion.”

When asked what were the plans for fire’s future, Hot said, “To burn, and burn brightly.”

Despite this, time will only tell how fire plans to burn. That, and how much oxygen is supplied.

Governments across the world have been sucking oxygen from the atmosphere in attempts to limit fire’s potential for insurrection.

Many humans have died across the world, but President Barack Obama said, “In desperate times, sacrifices are necessary.

It’s not what you can do for your country, but how fast you can die for it when it does something to you.”

Ä

ï

ï brings dotted lines to center to see hidden messages on this page

Ä

Gaze-hiding visor: 2 months Community service

be trusted

Fire is always at the ready to flip humanity the bird: We delve into the treasonous nature behind flames

Oskar Olsen Speculator

ince the beginning of time, fire has lived side by side with humanity. It has allowed for the progression of culture. To control it was a testament of evolution. Without its ability for both warmth and destruction, humanity would have remained as nothing more than proverbial Neanderthals.

Yet, can it be trusted?

For ten thousand years, we have invited it into our homes.

We have shared some of our most intimate moments with it.

But fire, being so unquestionably integral, is in the ideal place for insurrection. Simply said, fire is the perfect incendiary.

Many across the globe are skeptical. This can certainly be understood. Humanity has fostered numerous beneficial relationships with fire. Our kids have played with it. We have relied on it in the darkest of times.

But history proves times weren’t always so amicable. In the very beginning, humanity was both afraid and untrusting of conflagration’s orange glow.

Then there was the Salem Witch Hunts. 100,000 of our best witches were killed by fire. To this day, fire has yet to apologize to the community of witches.

Consider also the famous case of Fire vs. Jones. On a rainy night, the power went out.

Jones, being ever-so-trusting, took a candle and lit it, thinking nothing more of the act. Then he fell asleep. When he woke up, he found his entire house lit aflame.

Luckily, he ran out before any

Why it can’t

WHich one learned more?

“Send your dirigibles to East Russia, they putin a good tip.”

“I never thought of myself as a bigger man, I’m too modest.”

“I get by with a little help from Depends©.”

“Life is harder if you choke on hardships without a friend.”

DD4 • THE SILHOUETTE

Crooked classifieds

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

Sell your trash for some cash, for that rash on your ‘stache.

PERSONALS

SWM seeking SWM - must believe in God - working knowledge of the sacraments - must be willing to re-enact that scene in the Old Testament when the people of Gammorah have sex with the angels (I’ll be the angel) Call Desmond: 647-001-7778 Mature older woman, seeking a needlepoint group.

- Have tried several times to learn needlepoint, have only been receiving phone calls late at night from men wishing to show me their needle point.

Laureen: 905-647-2221 SWM seeking older woman, preferably named Lucille.

Must take care of me since my brothers tease me. I’ve studied cartography and Native American tribal ceremonies. I also have a hook hand.

Call Buster: 902-108-9774

JOBS

FOR SALE/RENT

Obit/messages

SBF seeking Mr. Right - You called in May, telling me to switch “polling” stations.

Your voice was so concise, clear, and misleading.

- You made sure I didn’t vote, and for this I thank you.

- Where are you, mystery caller? I want to hear your Hawking voice once more.

Wanda: 519-661-1420

“Canadian Gladiators” now casting for 2013 season. Bring your own spandex, combat batons and air cannons.

- April 6th @ The Pulse

Used child, skilled at slight of hand. Always wants second servings, can’t afford him.

Call Fagan: 1221 (Rotary)

Passed on. Jeremy Iver Kerboski, 117. You will be remembered for never blindly accepting medical attention.

Man seeking child - Must like guns - Must love dogs Call Kony: 879-442-9977

Western Mustangs looking for a new quarterback.

- Old one was dragged behind barn and shot.

Call Greg: 519-663-9755

SEXY OSWALD - Upset that nobody responded to my previous ad in the SATSC. - Still offering Turkish, frontal torso, foot massages.

- Interested in male gymnasts - Enjoy getting “baited” - Arm-up zoopage Call me: 416-616-9920

Anti-leaflet worker - $10/hour - Only you can prevent florist flyers.

Master of illusions looking for work. Aztek tomb, monopoly tricks, Alliance certified. Call Job Bluth: 902-109-6632 Former actor looking to make a comeback. Will do anything to get my kids back, I shrunk them in the 80’s.

Call R. Moranis: 998-1178

Rent my wife for the night.

Loud, obnoxious, self-serving, but very good in non-matrimonial environments. Willing to trade for Reddit Gold account or Skype Credit Call Neal: 905-997-5776 George Foreman grill grease collector for sale. Slightly used, eggshell white. Permanently borrowed from a mortal enemy to settle a long-standing score.

Will not deliver unless you will make me a grilled cheese slamwich. $7 or B.O. Call George (no relation): 741-662-1564 I will rent you my macbook so you can go to a Starbucks.

Call Steve: 1-800-MY-APPLE

Too soon. You will be missed KM. Thanks for providing me with a never-ending stream of “your in-side scoop” news segments. Your wife was an undeserving shrew.

To the kindly gentlewoman who held the door open for me at the Costco Brampton.

I hope you go to hell for your assumptive practices. Little did you know that my father died in a freak terrorist door-holding incident. Get your story straight before you give me nightmares.

New bundle of joy, Sam Sarif.

Born to a pair of hygiene-conscious parents, Sam will have a full life of hypochondriac behaviour ahead of him.

License to gill: fishts of fury Student finds wi-fi in student centre! officials are incredulous!

WAlter “Wireless” wumpus speculator

Gil Kobayashi

Finn Abdul-Jumal

TWO FISHERMEN THROW A TARPON ON THE FISH PUN DEBATE GK: It’s time for us to find out which fish pun is of-fish-ially the best.

FA-J: They’re all the salmon to me.

GK: Come on, you can’t just say that’s the best just for the halibut.

FA-J: There’s a shark contrast between good and bad fish puns, remember.

a good walleye for this stuff.

FA-J: I codn’t tell you otherwise.

There’s no trout I keep an eye on these things. I’m steadier than a sturgeon’s hand.

GK: I think you mackarel-ly good case.

But let’s not rush the oppor-tuna-ty.

FA-J: We should really coral the troops , our albacore readership.

GK: I don’t f-eel the same way. I sea things differently.

GK: Now you’re just kissing bass.

We’re not perched atop a pedestal or FA-J: It may take a whale, but you anything. have to wait for the best one. Carp-e diem, am I right?

FA-J: Ok, we’re almost done. Let’s seal the deal.

GK: I don’t know, I think it’s too soonshi to maki a decision.

GK: Alright, we know what the best fish pun is. There’s no need to be koi.

FA-J: The tempura-ture of this con- We don’t need to mullet over. We’re versation has raised too high. Let’s fin-ished. It’s char-dly a debate. stop clowning around.

FA-J: We’re so craw-zy, let’s go for a GK: You know, I pike to think you have snapper iced tea.

In the heart of a wireless wasteland, a McMaster student claimed to have found the answer to the digital drought, which has plagued students for tens of years. Jed Avery has purportedly found a wi-fi signal in the student centre, a building renowned for its Amish-like tendency to neutralize useful technology in its vicinity.

“I was just sitting there, minding my own business while making the next big hit on my Macbook, which you can buy on my blog, when suddenly I got a single bar on the school network. I tried to open my browser but by the time it loaded the signal was gone,” bragged Avery.

The school Information Technology department is investigating this claim, which is in contrast to their longstanding policy of only allowing wireless access at inconvenient points on campus. “There’s little to no chance to this claim is valid, as I was personally in the student centre yesterday, running magnets across the local routers,” said an IT representative.

Since the news has spread, students across various faculties and years

have been seen in the student centre, holding their laptops to the sky in fruitless attempts towards even somewhat reliable service that they pay for in their tuition.

“I know it’s probably just a hoax to draw attention to Jed’s terrible blog, but whenever a story like this breaks out it’s hard not to believe just a little bit. I believe,” said Kim Krisper, a despondent student on campus.

This incident mirrors another recent event at University of Guelph, where an unidentified student managed to get temporary internet access in the school library by routing his internet protocols through the wired school computers, an act the school has since banned in protest of students having access to the world wide web.

More information on this story is expected to break soon, as students find new and less-obvious methods of attempting internet access in the student centre.

We will be on scene, divulging details as the day progresses, from our reliable third-party internetcapable phones, which do not hate us as a precedent.

five-day Forecast - in a future that won’t last

MONDAY

tuesday

WEDNESDAY

thursday

friday

Slightly cloudy, high chance of unpleasant behaviour.

Light showers, frequent bursts of street riots and rampant looting.

Lightning storms all day, survivors will roam the Earth for sustenance.

Strong easterly winds, the final humans will gasp their last breaths.

Heat death of the universe, we descend into eternal oblivion.