The Silhouette - March 13, 2014

The

Silhouette McMASTER UNIVERSITY’S STUDENT NEWSPAPER

Thursday, March 13, 2014 VOL. 84 NO. 25 TECHNOLOGY

DeGroote survey hacked

GROUND TO A HALT Snow Day At McMaster

School of business satisfaction survey plagued by auto-vote script – offender removed from position

Campus was closed for a second time this term on Wednesday, March 12 due to inclement weather conditions.

Even the Five Days for the Homeless fundraisers opted to pack in their megaphones and put their donation drive on hold.

Rachel Faber Assistant News Editor McMaster students are no stranger to surveys, with feedback requests and class evaluations constantly filling our email inboxes. The DeGroote Experience Survey was launched on the MSU website on Jan. 30 of this year for the purpose of observing student satisfaction with the DeGroote School of Business, and it has garnered some unwanted attention.

A few days after the survey’s release, it became clear to administrators of the MSU website that the survey had been hacked and a script set up to answer questions automatically.

The survey received 18,000 answers within the first three days, indicating malicious activity.

Answers concerning the studentrun DeGroote Commerce Society all appeared to have unusually high scores. The survey questions all showed an even distribution of answers from one to five. However, answers regarding the DCS all had scores of four or five.

The Commerce Caucus of the SRA originally launched the survey anonymously, though due to this issue it was decided that students should be required to sign in with their McMaster ID. Despite these efforts, on February 12 the survey again found 1,400 unusual responses in favour of the DCS that were the result of another malicious script.

The survey hack was traced back to McMaster and to an email and a specific person within the DCS. “I felt that it was disappointing to see student leaders trying to thwart the issues of other students,” said Jeffrey Doucet, MSU Vice President of Finance.

On Feb. 17 the DCS issued a public apology on their website stating that a member of their organization was in fact responsible and was acting alone without their knowledge.

“This individual has agreed to cease all malicious activities against the MSU website and will abstain from any negative action towards the survey or the MSU website,” stated the post.

The President and CEO of the DCS, Conrad Thompson commented last week that “the matter is under investigation and the individual has been removed from their position.”

Scott Mallon, leader of the Commerce Caucus noted on the SRA website that one of the reasons the survey was created in the first place was because the caucus felt that the DCS was not governing themselves in “an open and transparent democratic fashion.”

Mallon also expressed his disappointment and hope for better communication between the DCS and DeGroote School of Business in the future.

Mallon stated that the SRA thought it was best not to point out or shame the person responsible, as they took the opportunity to resign from their position after being found accountable for disrupting the survey. @rachfaber

DeGroote School of Business.

C M Y K

rt o shtory s test n ers o c nn wi

ELIZA POPE / ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR

Mac students start exercise group Exercise is Medicine McMaster group aims to highlight the health benefits of a regular – but not rough – workout routine Tomi Milos Features Editor When Donna D’Souza and Mark von Allmen attended a conference conducted by the Canadian Society for Exercise Physiology last October, they didn’t even know each others’ names.

But the two McMaster students quickly connected through email after they both expressed interest in starting a chapter of Exercise is Medicine on Campus at the university. Von Allmen, a Master’s student in Kinesiology, and D’Souza, a third-year PhD candidate in Medical Sciences, soon welcomed Lindsay Griffith, a second-year medical student at Queens, into the fray.

Exercise is Medicine on Campus is a post-secondary offshoot of a global initiative that believes in the virtues of using physical activity and exercise to reduce the risk of chronic disease.

The group at McMaster grew out of the conversations that the three students had at the end of October, with their first executive council meeting taking place in February where they welcomed eleven other graduate students.

Recent interest from other students has seen them add around 50 members to their general council.

Their most immediate goals are to begin promoting a healthy lifestyle amongst the McMaster community, as well as collaborating with McMaster physicians to get exercise as treatment off the ground.

D’Souza emphasized how their experience in different backgrounds has been beneficial to their progress, with it helping to convert the theoretical knowledge they have at their disposal to render it fit for practical application.

As the end of the school year

Why is Canadian law being sold to Chinese interests? PAGE A9

TOMI MILOS / FEATURES EDITOR

Donna D’Souza, Mark von Allmen and Lindsay Griffith started the McMaster chapter of Exercise is Medicine, a health advocacy group.

Mac star leads the pack on the track and in her class PAGE B7

draws near, von Allmen said they had hopes of completing a prescription pad that they’d like to see used by all health services on campus.

“It’d be something that we’d have to help teach medical professionals how to use exercise in a practical manner in their daily clinical activities. We’re designing our own that’s based off the national template that [Exercise is Medicine Canada] gave us. We’d like to see it in as many places as possible, including the hospital and our Student Wellness Centre,” he said.

Speaking to the common sentiment among students that they somehow don’t have enough time to exercise, but D’Souza said they might be deterred by a lack of knowledge of where to start.

“If they go to the doctor and he says, ‘You have high blood pressure and you’re overweight…you should exercise more’, they’re at a

Food and Restaurant reviews that will get you craving more PAGE B8

loss because that’s very general,” said D’Souza.

Von Allmen was also quick to emphasize that Exercise is Medicine does not promote the idea that one should be doing strenuous exercise everyday, something which could intimidate some.

“It can sometimes be as simple as getting involved in intramurals.

They are a fun, team-building social activity that has an underlying factor of keeping their participants active for a certain amount of time,” he said.

The group is currently trying to organize an inter-professional education event through the Program for Inter-professional Practice, Education and Research at McMaster. They hope to draw professionals and students from a wide range of disciplines. @tomimilos

the S ’ T N E D I S E PR E G PA Student Leaders Doing Great Things on Campus About a month ago, I sat with a group from the MSU Clubs Executive Council and sorted through some applications. We were selecting a charitable club to be the headliner for our annual “Dodge! For a Good Cause” event, a dodge ball tournament in Burridge Gym. The club selected would receive whatever funds were collected from the tournament, in order to put these funds towards their dedicated charity.

What I saw in that meeting absolutely blew me away. We had received 19 applications, and 13 of those clubs were able to attend to present their case. Volunteers came to the meeting presenting on the charitable work they do with groups like Right to Play, the Canadian National Institute for the Blind, and Pencils for Kids. Ultimately, the tournament was awarded to Humanity First, funding infrastructure development in impoverished areas.

David Campbell President president@msu.mcmaster.ca

ext. 23885

Hearing from these clubs was just another reminder of how I am consistently in awe of the quality of student leadership we have here at McMaster. Many, many students and student groups on campus do fantastic work both and on- and off-campus, often without much recognition. This includes the many charitable groups on campus.

New or old, a chapter of a larger charity or an independent initiative, these groups are able to do amazing things.

Here are just a few of the other recent or upcoming student fundraising efforts on campus: R5Horizons Fashion Show: “Style at Mac”, is a website and student-run group that offers fashion lovers recognition on campus. In their first year they successfully planned and sold out a Fashion Show, Horizons, that showcased the fashion industry of Hamilton, Ontario. All the sponsoring retailers were independent boutiques and designers in Hamilton. All proceeds are donated to Living Rock, an organization that provides support for at-risk youth in downtown Hamilton.

R5 McMaster Walk for Memories: This was a brand new event started by the McMaster Alzheimer’s Society in collaboration with the Health, Aging and Society Student Association. This event was held in DBAC on January 25th, 2014. The event included a DJ, pizza, the walk and other fun-filled activities. During this event they were able to raise over $8000 for the Alzheimer’s Society.

R5Shave for a Cure and Locks for Love - These events were held by McMaster Smiling Over Sickness. Although Shave for a Cure is an annual event in first term, the club decided to create a second event this year for term 2 called Locks for Love. With the help of West Side Hair co, SOS’s volunteer and the brave shavees, McMaster Smiling Over Sickness was able to raise $5707.40 for Camp Trillium. At Locks for Love, the club had another 19 shavees and raised $5085.00 for Angel Hair for Kids! This club has been able to increase their fundraising total by over 50% from last year.

R5McMaster Relay for Life: This campaign, aiming to reach $85,000 in funds this year, culminates in the overnight “relay” this Friday night.

R55 Days for the Homeless: This annual fundraiser run by the DeGroote Commerce Society has student volunteers sleeping outside and living off of donations in order to raise money and awareness for youth homelessness in Hamilton.

These events only scratch the surface of the charitable events on campus, which are themselves only one example of the leadership that students show at McMaster every day.

Whyishnave Suthagar (C/O McMaster Daily News)

The President’s Page is sponsored by the McMaster Students Union. It is a space used to communicate with the student body about the projects, goals and agenda of the MSU Board of Directors.

www.msumcmaster.ca Spencer Graham VP (Education)

David Campbell President

Anna D’Angela VP (Administration)

Jeff Doucet VP (Finance)

fb.com/MSUMcMaster @MSU_McMaster

Thursday, March 13, 2014

theSil.ca

A3

LIVE STREAM: You can now catch every SRA meeting live on our website. The next one is on March 23rd at 6:30 p.m.

THESIL.CA

Editors Tyler Welch & Rachel Faber & Tomi Milos Email news@thesil.ca @theSilhouette Phone 905.525.9140 x27117

S

Polls now open for SRA election Tyler Welch News Editor

The Student Representative Assembly elections opened their online polls on 8:00 a.m. Thursday, March, 12 and will stay open until Thursday, March 13 at 5:00 p.m.

During this election time, full-time students will vote to fill 31 seats of the MSU’s legislative body.

Those 31 seat-holders will then vote in the three vice-presidents that will join Teddy Saull in filling the Executive Board that makes up the remaining four seats of the SRA. Emails will be sent to students via their McMaster email account with a secure link to the online voting system.

A plurality system is used in SRA elections, rather than the preferential system used for the MSU Presidential election. This means that humanities students will receive four votes each (one for each seat) and the four candidates, of the seven in the contention, with the highest number of votes will be elected.

While most faculties contain many candidates, leading to competitive races, the Faculties of Nursing, Kinesiology and Arts and Science received only enough nominated candidates to fill their seats, so all candidates will be acclaimed as members of the SRA. The Faculty of Engineering only received nominations for five candidates despite being allotted six seats. All five nominees will also be acclaimed without a vote being cast in their name.

16 45 running, are women.

BEN BARRETT-FORREST / MULTIMEDIA EDITOR

Candidates running in competitive elections Business (3 seats) David Cheng Ari Laniado Sarah Mohamed Harrison Nolan John Tambakis Health Science (2 seats) Inna Berditchevskaia Pardh Chivukula Alexa Mordhorst

Humanities (4 seats) Simon Filice Sarah King Katie Lehwald Kara McGowen Daymon Oliveros Jessica Soubas Matthew Towers Science (7 seats) Anser Abbas Gilbert Baiden

Jacob Brodka Mike Cheung Miranda Clayton Mike Gill Giuliana Guarna Marty Hutchinson Patricia Kousoulas Paul Le Mirella Mazza Victoria Tweedie

Social Science (5 seats) Lindsay Craig Daniel D’Angela Cam Galindo Eric Gillis Gerald Ibe Sarah Jama Esmonde JamiesonEckel Tristan Paul Nilen Thamphirasan

All nominated candidates in the Faculties of Engineering, Kinesiology, Nursing, and Arts & Science will be acclaimed to positions in the SRA.

Around town: the good, the bad and the ugly

Rachel Faber Assistant News Editor

ELIZA POPE / ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR

The Good From the same people who brought us the Supercrawl, a new festival is in town this summer.

“Because Beer” will be happening on July 11 from 4 p.m. to 11 p.m. and July 12 from 12 p.m. to 8 p.m.

The festival aims to showcase local craft brewers. Attendees will have the opportunity to sample different beers as well as food

from local food trucks. There will also be experts present to demonstrate how to perfectly pour your brew and appropriate beer to food pairings. Admission is $25 per day or $40 for a two-day pass, which includes a free beer mug and samples.

The Bad The Hamilton Fire Department reponded to a fire that occured at

Rotana Resto-Bar at 1124 Main Street West (See photo above).

The building has four store fronts on the ground-floor level and seven apartments on the second floor. Damage is estimated at $300,000. The Office of the Fire Marshal will assist in determining the cause of the blaze that is believed to have begun in the kitchen. No civilians or firefighters were injured due to the fire.

The Ugly A door-to-door hot water tank salesman has been arrested for assaulting an 11-year-old girl in a Burlington home. The man had visited the house earlier that day and returned later when the girl’s mother and another child left the house to run errands. The girl was home alone when the man knocked on her door, and came

inside without permission. The man approached her inside the home, asking her name and age and if her parents were at home.

He then put his hand over her mouth. The girl broke free and the salesperson left the home. He was later arrested a short distance away.

CANADIAN CAMPUS NEWS Krista Schwab The Silhouette Carleton University safety workers strike

University of Alberta assists in revival of Somali University

Waterloo study calls for limiting energy drinks for teens

Citizenship act may affect international students

Two YorkU students injured in shooting

Campus safety workers at Carleton are on strike as of Sunday, March 9. This includes special constables, dispatchers, campus safety officers and student safety patrollers. The safety workers went on strike after an agreement to amend salary and staffing issues could not be reached with the University.

Carleton safety workers, which allegedly make $10,000 less than those employed at other universities, are hoping to end the strike with a pay raise and an increase in staff to compensate for the rising population of students at Carleton.

The University of Alberta is taking on a new project to help rebuild Somali National University (SNU), which has been closed for over 20 years. Dr. George Richardson, Associate Dean of International Initiatives and other faculty have assessed SNU to determine how they can help the University become established once again.

To date, The U of A has donated over 400 books to the SNU and is planning to hold workshops to train teachers for the SNU. The workshops will likely take place in Nairobi, Kenya.

A recent paper published in Preventive Medicine by researchers at the University of Waterloo and Dalhousie University found that high school students at risk for depression are more likely to consume energy drinks in comparison to other students.

Energy drinks have numerous recorded negative health effects on the heart, as well as sleep cycles and anxiety. The researchers suggest that public awareness must be raised around the harms of energy drinks and action should be taken to reduce their availability to teens.

Recent changes to the Canadian Citizenship Act could reduce the number of international students able to come to the country to study PSE. The federal government is rescinding a provision that previously meant every day spent in Canada as a non-permanent resident counted as half a day of residence needed for a citizenship application, with a maximum of 2 years.

On top of that, students will need to be living in Canada for 4-6 years instead of the usual 3-4 to qualify for citizenship. The move appears to counteract the government’s pledge to double the number of international students by 2022.

Two female students suffered non-life threatening wounds in a shooting that took place at York University on March 6. Police are reporting that a male who appeared to be in his mid-20’s discharged a gun in the cafeteria.One of the students was wounded by a bullet, while the other was hurt by the shrapnel.

While they are investigating the issue, police don’t believe that the women were targeted. Constable Victor Kwong added that they are speaking to witnesses. Both victims are currently being treated in the hospital.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

theSil.ca

A4 Executive Editor Jemma Wolfe Email thesil@thesil.ca @theSilhouette Phone 905.525.9140 x22052

S CANADIAN WINTER

Mid-day snow days no good for commuters to three more weeks.

Jemma Wolfe Executive Editor Snow days are the most exciting thing I remember from winters as a child.

There’s nothing sweeter than being seven years old and getting ready in the dark hours of the morning only to have the radio proclaim a snowy day off from school. While much of that charm has faded with adulthood, a hint of the excitement that a free day brings remains. Except when it’s announced half-way through the day.

For the second time this term, McMaster University has delayed announcing a school closure due to

weather until mid-way into the day.

On Wednesday, Feb. 5, campus shut down at 5:30 p.m. after a morning and early afternoon of relentless snowfall.

On Wednesday, March 12, the University bumped up the announcement by a few hours and closed the school at 11:30 a.m. Neither times were very useful for many students, faculty and staff who had already made the journey through snow squalls and accident-ridden roads to get to campus.

For the large population of commuters, announcing the closure after classes have already begun does little to ensure their safety. For the students

with children who have to arrange daycare, it’s a wasted day.

McMaster should follow the lead of other local schools and public services that always close on heavy weather days, and that always announce their closures in the early hours of the morning.

Maybe then will snow days feel less stressful and worrisome, and regain the excitement and potential for adventure that they possessed when I was a kid. @jemma_wolfe

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

In reply to “Petition urges McMaster University to end sanctions against engineering students”

by Anqi Shen, published March 6, 2014 on A1 freedom of choice is being infringed upon and again, the University has chosen punishment for all rather than holding accountable the ones who are responsible. Contrary to Dr. Wilkinson’s interpretation, the issue is not with alcohol consumption being a necessary part of having a good time, but with university students being treated as adults and not children.

These students have worked hard to be a part of this graduation. I have always believed that in this society someone is innocent until proven guilty. Here is a whole faculty of students (4,000) who are paying a penalty before judgment.

From the report I gather that the investigation is ongoing and will not be

resolved before the school year ends.

I for one do not support the actions of the University. I don’t think the issues involved in the song book are being addressed as they could or should be. I’m sure those in favour of these sanctions are not engineering students and who wrongly believe that this could not happen to them. Do the Redsuits do nothing good at all? Are they all involved? Even if there were 400 Redsuits, that is only a tenth of the faculty’s student body. These punishments seem to add a further black mark against these students and all are paying the price.

•

Jean Moscardini

Female-only gym hours would be positive for women on campus In reply to “A women-only gym would be counterproductive”

by Kacper Niburski, published Feb. 28 on A7 An opinions article from Feb. 28 claimed that women’s-only gym hours would not be a productive way to end objectification. By describing objectification as a “discomfort”, this article dismissed women’s justified claims about feeling uncomfortable in co-ed spaces, and ignored the larger issue; it is not simply unpleasant to be ogled, it is dehumanizing. It is also something that we can help change.

One of the main points the author made was that by dividing up gym hours, we would not be fostering a community at McMaster University.

However, some of the most nourishing and productive groups that I have taken part of have been female-only ones. This is partially because they give

About Us MUSC, Room B110 McMaster University 1280 Main Street West, Hamilton, ON L8S 4S4 E–Mail: thesil@thesil.ca Facebook.com/ TheMcMasterSilhouette Twitter.com/theSilhouette Production Office (905) 525-9140, extension 27117 Advertising (905) 525-9140, extension 27557 10,000 circulation Published by the McMaster Students Union

women the chance to freely express themselves in an environment where people often have similar lived experiences, and often much better understandings of objectification and gender oppression. Just because men are not part of a community does not make it unproductive or unwelcoming.

The author also entirely ignores yet another huge benefit to women’sonly spaces and workout times: modesty and religion. Some women are unable to comfortably work out in the presence of men. For some it isn’t the difference of feeling squeamish or not, it is the difference of her being able to work out at all.

As for concerns over who can attend this women’s-only gym time,

Write To Us Letters to the Editor should be 100-300 words and be submitted via email by Tuesday at 12:00 p.m. to be included in that week’s publication.

Legal

The Silhouette welcomes letters to the editor in person at MUSC B110, or by email at thesil@thesil.ca. Please include name, address and telephone number for verification only. We reserve the right to edit, condense or reject letters and opinion articles. Opinions and editorials expressed in The Silhouette are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editorial board, the publishers, the McMaster Students Union or the University. The Silhouette is an editorially autonomous newspaper published by the McMaster Students Union. The Silhouette Board of Publications acts as an intermediary between the editorial board, the McMaster community and the McMaster Students Union. Grievances regarding The Silhouette may be forwarded in writing to: McMaster Students Union, McMaster University Student Centre, Room 201, L8S 4S4, Attn: The Silhouette Board of Publications. The Board will consider all submissions and make recommendations accordingly.

the concept is simple; do you identify as a woman? If so, this is your time to work out comfortably with others.

If women’s only workout time was as complex, it wouldn’t exist at other gyms. And yet it does.

Yes, gym culture is part of a larger issue, but that does not mean it should be ignored. Wishing that the gym is “a place where gender equality comes to thrive” will not make it so. As a woman, I can’t control if I am harassed on the street, or in my career, but we at McMaster can certainly make small changes like adjusting gym hours to make at least some spaces more comfortable for women.

•

to brackets - of all kinds.

to being 0 for 5 with roll up the rim.

to gabrielle.

to running out of ideas.

to shopping with my sister.

Talia Kollek

Section Meeting Times News Thursdays @ 3:30 p.m.

Opinions Tuesdays @ 1:30 p.m.

Sports Thursdays @ 12:30 p.m.

LifeStyle Thursdays @ 2:30 p.m.

ANDY Wednesdays @ 11:30 a.m.

Video & Multimedia Mondays @ 1:30 p.m.

Photo Fridays @ 1:30 p.m.

to uv rays.

to blueberry yogurt.

to wisdom teeth.

to threadworks clothing swap.

to the price of flights.

to sra elections.

to malaysia airlines flight 370.

to short stories.

to more snow.

to my mom’s chili.

to the wait for admissions.

to my threadcount debut.

Eng grads being treated like children with alcohol bans

I would like to respond to the news report on the front page regarding the Redsuits. I don’t believe all engineering students are like the Redsuits. The punishing of all is a little like detaining everyone living on a street until the murder that occurred there is solved.

I am not an engineering student but I am appalled at the wide brush that has been used to paint all of the students as bad. This song book was handed down to these students, not something that they wrote. Where was the guidance to help these students understand the inappropriateness of its content?

As the Silhouette has reported, there is to be no alcohol at the Kipling formal for the class this year. Their

to car shopping.

to the impending death of broadsheet. but, it’s time.

to gino’s invoices three years later.

to forgetting to use coupons. to hgtv reruns.

The Silhouette

McMaster University’s Student Newspaper

EDITORIAL BOARD Jemma Wolfe | Executive Editor thesil@thesil.ca Sam Godfrey | Managing Editor managing@thesil.ca Andrew Terefenko | Production Editor production@thesil.ca Anqi Shen | Online Editor news@thesil.ca Tyler Welch | News Editor news@thesil.ca Rachel Faber | Assistant News Editor news@thesil.ca Tomi Milos | Features Editor news@thesil.ca Kacper Niburski | Opinions Editor opinions@thesil.ca Laura Sinclair | Sports Editor sports@thesil.ca Alexandra Reilly | Assistant Sports Editor sports@thesil.ca Amanda Watkins | LifeStyle Editor lifestyle@thesil.ca Miranda Babbitt | Assistant LifeStyle Editor lifestyle@thesil.ca Bahar Orang | ANDY Editor andy@thesil.ca Cooper Long | Assistant ANDY Editor andy@thesil.ca Yoseif Haddad | Photo Editor photo@thesil.ca Eliza Pope | Assistant Photo Editor photo@thesil.ca Ben Barrett-Forrest | Multimedia Editor photo@thesil.ca Karen Wang | Graphics Editor production@thesil.ca Colin Haskin | Video Editor photo@thesil.ca Olivia Dorio | Distribution Coordinator thesil@thesil.ca Sandro Giordano | Ad Manager sgiordan@msu.mcmaster.ca Staff Reporters Tobi Abdul Sarah O’Connor Ana Qarri Sophia Topper thesil@thesil.ca

Patrick Kim The Silhouette McMaster students are now able to receive real-time updates on local weather and upcoming bus arrival times, thanks to a new service called MacSMS. Designed and developed by three McMaster students, the service has the potential to become ubiquitous throughout the greater McMaster community.

By simply texting (289) 7241622 a variety of commands that include weather, temperature, and bus stop numbers, users can instantly receive free updates on local weather and HSR bus arrivals.

“We just wanted a faster way to find out what the weather is like, and keep in touch with any alerts that are going on in the McMaster area,” said Shubham Gupta, one of the co-founders of MacSMS, along with Gurbir Dhulla and Taranveer Virk.

Gurbir also added that, “If [students] don’t have access to Internet, or Wi-Fi, or data, for any reason, they should still be able to get those updates whenever they want to request it.”

The free service utilizes information from the McMaster University Weather Station in order to provide the most recent data from within 15 minutes, specific to the area. The service also cuts out the hassle of calling the HSR phone line for updated bus arrivals, Taranveer explained.

“Essentially, students don’t have to use their minutes or anything when they’re trying to get bus information… it’s all about making student life easier,” said Taranveer.

The three co-founders are currently in their third year at McMaster and are all pursuing a

degree in software engineering.

However, they emphasized that they’ve learned a lot of development on their own and in their spare time over the years, and that the project itself required additional research.

“The biggest thing we learned in school is teamwork, just working with people,” said Shubham.

The three have been programming for the better part of seven years.

In addition to the service, all three had a hand in developing their website, macsms.me, which boasts a professional quality and where users can register to receive automated updates each day.

When speaking about each of their roles, Gurbir discussed how his job was focused on managing the back-end of the service, developing the infrastructure and setting up servers, which he acknowledged was fairly difficult.

As of March 10, the project is officially one month old. Despite the lack of any formal advertising or marketing, they’ve already received a lot of positive feedback on the service.

Said Shubham, “That’s something we did not expect… we’ve had a huge amount of interest, and people are constantly e-mailing us and thanking us.”

When discussing their future plans, they emphasized that one of the key features of MacSMS is that students only need text messaging to utilize the service.

In a future update, Taranveer described how users will be able to customize different alert times for weather each day. “[The update] should be rolled out soon, and a lot of other great features are still to come,” he said.

A5

CHECK OUT WWW.MSUMcMASTER.CA/TWELVEIGHTY FOR MORE!

McMaster students storm campus with new SMS weather service

NEWS

CHEAPDRINKS, AMAZINGFOOD, PRICELESSMEMORIES.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

THURS BAR NIGHTS! HOTTEST DJ’S! LOWESTDRINKPRICESINHAMILTON! STUDENTPRICES!

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Thursday, March 13, 2014

theSil.ca

A6 Leadership has become a commodity A7

Editor Kacper Niburski Email opinions@thesil.ca @theSilhouette Phone 905.525.9140 x27117

S MEDICAL MISHAPS

How to be a doctor

Editorial Cartoon

KarenWang/GraphicsEditor

When the medical system let us down, we had to hold each other up Kacper Niburski Opinions Editor “Be a doctor, Kacper.”

I’m six and he’s 63 and with hands carved by dirt and eyes worn and tired, he outlines a world of undeniable possibility, of hope, and ultimately, of love.

“I was sick. Very sick. Right here.” He leads my tiny paw to his heart.

“Hear that?”

A single bump pulses under my fingertips. It sounds like little metallic gears turning together yet there is no clicking or grinding. The single note is smooth, as though there is a solitary string being strum in one direction, then strum again before it can rebound.

“It is different than yours. Different than others, too.” It continues to pound gently. Neither up or down, the rhythm is consistent.

“I came to Canada for this. And from this, you came too.” I look up and notice that he’s smiling.

“You can do this, Kacper. For others. For anyone. For me again if I need it.”

I open my mouth, trying to find the words to tell him that his heart is healthy. But he instead says, “Let’s get some dinner.”

My hand moves away and we eat and I grow, I do, I feel and 15 years pass, and I’m standing in an emergency room. I’m holding the hand of a beloved. People are crying around me. A beep-beep is heard when the tears stop.

I am stoic against it all. It is my grandfather’s words that comfort me: there’s hope here. This is Canada after all. Doctors can make things better. They will respect you. They will care for you. And sickness will be cured, injuries will be mended, and life will return to normalcy again.

The single pulse will become immutable in time.

A phone rings. It is my grandfather. His voice is pregnant with worry. Is everything is okay? Is everything okay?

I don’t answer, and time passes, and we find ourselves in a long line. No longer is there the careful weighing of words. Instead in a busy hospital packed with people, we have become meat-wagons preparing for a nameless butcher. A number is given to us, we’re sandwiched among others, we’re yelled at, and shuffled around.

Once it is our turn, a doctor comes in and says this is what we’re doing. Surgery, he says. It is the first thing he utters. We never learn his name.

We try to ask questions. He says he’s busy. We say we understand but… We’re cut off. He says he will be back later to answer our queries.

We don’t see him again.

We bounce around from unit to unit. A procedure is done. A mistake is made. It happens, we’re told. The procedure is done again.

We’re furious. Our worries are passed off with rudeness. We’re burdening others with our concerns. We have become a burden, my father says.

Another doctor enters. He introduces himself. We ask how our beloved is doing. He mumbles something, dismisses our questions. “How are the X-rays?” “You wouldn’t understand them.” “How is the catheter?”

“It’s a complicated situation.”

He then tells us that surgery is imperative. There is no alternative.

We ask about the method, he tries to explain it. We don’t understand. He tells us he has explained the procedure enough and he was the doctor and twice was enough for him.

He left the room, and the power dynamic became relevant. We weren’t just nobodies; we were physical bodies too, and that’s all he could see. Flesh, muscle, and skeleton coming together in the wrong way. We were a problem, an aberration, a sickness and no more.

Perhaps it was just a bad few experiences because the next hospital met us with kindness and a handful of information. We could challenge findings. We could seek second opinions. We weren’t powerless under authority; we were guided by it, and thereby made all the more powerful.

This, I believe, is what is what it means to be a doctor. Having not only technical competence, but also competence in social perception, emotional receptivity, and cultural sensitivity.

This two-pronged approach is necessary for sickness does not simply injure a person’s physicality and rejuvenation is not just a bodily concern.

Illness and healing alike involve the whole being of an individual. Both are the unwinding of that patient’s story; there is an assault on the entirety of a person. From a free individual to an anxious, dependent, often bed-ridden patient, they become an iota of what they were and what they saw themselves to be.

Doctors can help lead back to the consistency. Doing so means assessing the whole patient, not just treating them as some means to an end. This means introducing oneself when meeting a new patient, asking how the patient is feeling, ensuring that they understand the procedures, gauging one’s comfort, discussing particular findings, not talking down to an individual, consent is continually stressed, and ensuring that the complications are listed, and not simply discovered haphazardly.

That way a patient can be empowered, instead of feeling like a burden, or worse yet, a cow waiting for slaughter. This is necessary as patients are not just the sum of their sicknesses. In between the coughs and blood and diagnoses are those same stories - stories of peeing in Lake Ontario or eating ice-cream cakes at Dairy Queen or first kisses or last ones all the same - the pages are just curling in a moment of bad weather. @ kacpnibs

McMaster already has a student centered budget David Wilkinson Provost and VP Academic I was pleased to read the President’s Page in last week’s Silhouette, dealing with the university’s budget-setting priorities.

The column by MSU vice-presidents Jeff Doucet (Finance) and Spencer Graham (Education) reminded me of what a genuine pleasure it is to work with students who are so actively engaged in their educational experience.

The column and various conversations we’ve had over the year show that they appreciate the complexities and dynamics of setting a budget in a large multi-dimensional institution like McMaster. It has been my good fortune as McMaster’s provost to work with MSU leaders who share a passion for improving the quality of the student experience, and approach this with both a short and long term perspective.

Collaboration between student leaders and university administration is a fine McMaster tradition, and one that I believe makes a significant contribution to producing the best outcomes for all.

I was pleased to see the headline “McMaster’s Budget Should Be Student-Centred”, because I agree wholeheartedly and because I also believe our budget demonstrably is student-centred. As I read the column, I was reminded of how much agreement there is between those of us charged with setting the university’s budget and the recommendations of the two student vice-presidents.

Certainly McMaster faces a range of challenges and must balance all aspects of what it means to be a “research-focused student-centred” institution.

Budgets are naturally constrained by the resources we have from tuition, government grants and other funding sources. However, we have continued to invest in and make major commitments in many areas that are directly aligned with students’ priorities and which address emerging opportunities to improve the quality of education at McMaster.

Here are some of them: - McMaster will be increasing its contribution to the Student Affairs budget this year.

- The university is quadrupling its funding for deferred maintenance over the next few years.

- We are undertaking a study to determine the kinds of classroom upgrades will best meet the changing demands of modern pedagogy.

- We have increased the library budget, by well over $1 million annually, providing students with greater access to resources and guidance on how to use them.

- We created the McMaster Institute for Innovation and Excellence in Teaching and Learning (MIIETL) with a budget that is over $1.5-million greater than its predecessor (Centre for Leadership in Learning). Amongst other initiatives MIIETL is committed to enhanced pedagogical training for faculty and TAs. - We have introduced the Learning Portfolio to help students capture and reflect on their own learning experiences.

- In partnership with the province, we are investing in the development of blended learning and online courses, providing student with more flexible pathways.

- Within our capital budget planning, a top priority is a new

Living, Learning, Leading building that will add to our undergraduate residence and classroom capacity and add collaboration spaces.

There is not an exhaustive list. Nor am I fully satisfied with what we are able to do. I expect our students to hold us to account, and I am pleased they are actively engaged in advocating for their education. I want to assure them that wherever we have flexibility in our budget processes, improving the quality of teaching and learning is a high priority.

Setting budgets is challenging work – work that is made lighter by the inspiring and thoughtful contributions of our partners. I encourage all our students to take an active interest in our efforts to assure that we are providing the best possible education for McMaster students.

“

“We have continued to invest in and make major commitments in many areas that are directly aligned with students’ priorities.”

FEEDBACK Compiled by Kacper Niburski & Eliza Pope

Why are you still on campus on the snow day?

“Because I feel comfortable at Mac.”

Mike Gill, Integrated Science II

“I’m a commuter. I’m waiting for my ride.”

Stephaine Park, Kinesiology II

“I live on campus. I have no other choice.”

Nafis Hossain, Life Sciences I

“I have two midterms on Friday.”

Elena Popadic, Life Sciences II

“It’s better to study here than at home.”

Julieth Navarro, Commerce I

theSil.ca

Thursday, March 13, 2014

OPINIONS

A7

Leadership conferences are exclusionary and elitist

PHOTO C/O CCSL

Sam Godfrey Managing Editor I first heard about the Canadian Conference on Student Leadership through a friend who, on March 3, was being asked to sit as a panellist on March 7. Though my friend was and is an excellent candidate for the position, the fact remains that four days prior to the panel of an event that has more than a year to prepare, the CCSL was soliciting the unpaid help of an undergraduate student to fill presenter seats.

My impression of the CCSL did not improve from there.

Looking through the titles and descriptions of sessions taking place at this conference, many of them stood out to me as patronizing, self-indulgent, offensive and frankly useless. Take for example an Idea Exchange (read: presentation with an interactive component) named, I quote, “Gay, Straight, Bi or ?”. This session was apparently intended to provide attendees with “the tools and advice that you may need to interact and understand that individual or anyone else in that individual’s situation.”

Improper syntax aside, this description is problematic for a number of reasons, first and foremost being – in my opinion – the extremely othering tone. It immediately places the queer community as a completely separate breed, able to be lumped into one mass of “anyone else in that individual’s situation”.

To clump the entire community into a tidy bunch separate from the attendees is by definition othering and in this case marginalizing. Though I suppose I should not have expected more from a session that reduces much of the queer community to a piece of punctuation.

But what stood to me most

about the CCSL, time and again in various ways, was the prohibitive cost of attending. Keeping in mind this is a conference aimed primarily at students from across Canada, the fee for student delegates and presenters was $365.

Right then, right there, the CCSL

is excluding an enormous demographic. Equivalent to many

students’ rent for a month, groceries for two months, or utilities for a year, this fee is exorbitant.

It restricts this event for ‘student leaders’ to ‘high-income student leaders’. It is elitist and classist, and I’m embarrassed by my University for hosting a conference as exclusionary as this.

Unfortunately, this is not a phenomenon restricted to one university or one organization.

The CCSL is a mere example of how we’ve come to commodify ‘leadership’. This ‘leadership industry’, like many others, fabricates the need that it fills.

In the CCSL’s description of a session entitled “Leveraging & Showcasing your Leadership”,

we find the following sentence: “Overcome the “I’m just a volunteer” syndrome, and find leadership in every position you’ve held.”

I found this to be incredibly ironic, as they lack the self-awareness to realize that the only reason this session needs to exist is because of the culture the CCSL perpetuates. We should already be putting stock into a variety of experiences, not just those with jargon-laden titles and nametag lanyards.

There is value in what you and those around you do for reasons other than what profiting parties tell you is leadership.

“

“The CCSL is a mere example of how we’ve come to commodify ‘leadership’. This ‘leadership industry’, like many others, fabricates the need that it fills.”

Credit student leaders for McMaster’s success Jeffrey Doucet MSU Vice-President (Finance) As my year as Vice-President Finance of the McMaster Students Union draws to a close, I have been doing a lot of reflecting, thinking about what I have been exposed to in this role. What stands out the most to me are the interactions I have had with so many impressive student leaders from all different parts of the student body.

Unfortunately, I find myself spending too much time in my role defending the value of student leadership to some members of the University administration, even to those who work closely with student leaders, delivering important programming throughout the year.

Many important initiatives on this campus have been launched by student leaders.

These initiatives are inspired and guided by students’ holistic understanding of the needs and wants of their peers. Virtually every service that the MSU offers

came from ideas created and developed by students, for students.

We talked about sexual health when the University did not want to (SHEC). We started a medical response team from McKay Hall when a student realized that there was a gap in medical services for students on campus (EFRT). We negotiated a bus pass because we know students need an affordable way to commute to campus.

Similar ideas have been developed by student leaders at the faculty level. Recently, the McMaster Engineering Society launched a Peer Tutoring initiative, the first of its kind at McMaster. Students have been so receptive to the idea, that two of our MSU Presidential candidates championed a similar concept hoping to implement it across the campus.

Students are likely to think outside the box, try new things.

And sometimes, they fail. Placing students in positions of leadership has its risks, but I am confident that the rewards outweigh them significantly.

As with any organization, we need to minimize our risk and ensure that groups are behaving and operating in a responsible manner. The MSU has long supported University efforts to develop consistent expectations of student societies and student groups.

These include examples such as the development of responsible event planning guidelines, as well as the implementation of rigorous financial accountability mechanisms.

That said, as my term winds to its conclusion I worry that University administration is beginning to devalue the work that student groups do, focusing solely on potential risk. What happened with the Engineering Redsuits’ songbook is tragic, and the group(s) involved need to be held accountable.

Yet this culture does not reflect a campus-wide problem with student leadership, and it will be inappropriate if the University reacts by curtailing student responsibilities both during Welcome Week and at large during

the school year.

When harassment at the faculty level was reported in the Degroote Faculty of Business, the University appropriately suspended and disciplined those who were responsible. The tenure system was not broken, suspended or destroyed in response. Rather, specific individuals who had acted inappropriately were identified and the situation was dealt with professionally. Why should issues at the student level operate any differently?

McMaster is a community of 22,000 students and sometimes things go awry. When they do, it’s important that we consider those accidents in the greater context; that we remember all the amazing work done by students on campus. The University must balance their desire to keep students safe, with the reality that students can and should falter occasionally – this is just part of the learning process. When left to their own devices, students’ successes will far, far outshine the negatives.

The student experience will

only truly be enhanced when student leaders are in the positions of decision making and authority over student life. Student leaders have the best understanding of the needs, wants and issues that face undergrads at McMaster University.

“

“Placing students in positions of leadership has its risks, but I am confident that the rewards outweigh them significantly.”

theSil.ca

Thursday, March 13, 2014

OPINIONS

A8

The illness of going to university Competitive environments and feelings of isolation cause stress and other mental health issues for a significant portion of the student body

SILHOUETTE FILE PHOTO

Matthew Chau The Silhouette You really don’t know what it’s like to feel alone when you are attending a university who enrolls 30,000 students, living in a building that holds 1,000 of those, residing 20 minutes from three siblings, two parents, a dog and a girlfriend (the last two give all the kisses a guy could need) – yet each night you feel surrounded by nothing but concrete and white paint. This is not only a personal rendition; this is one story out of the thousands attending our Canadian universities.

I felt alone in my six bedroom advertised “suite,” adorned with a fully-furnished bedroom, spacious living room and squeaky marble kitchen. At $630 a month most would call me spoiled, and if they knew I was a humanities student some might have far more selective words for this “total waste of money” at my parent’s hard-worked expense of course. This attack of negative stigma towards the faculty of humanities is a relentless one in this recessive economy. Take online forums who have recently revealed to me the surprising factoid that I am “literally burning my parent’s money” but then maybe I should also stop googling “Is humanities a good major?”

However, this piece is not going to be a heroic defense to the faculty of humanities, but as the sarcastic undertone reveals: I feel like I am working towards a worthless degree – better yet, a worthless life.

What my rented room did not advertise was the impending deep depression awaiting me right behind the pretty door. I was a first year who was not living on-campus. Admittedly, that

was my fault as I had missed the residence application deadline, in what was a grand display of my university level intelligence. I lived in a dark pit, in which it was in every way. It may have looked like the Ritz of residences but I hated everything inside its walls.

I lived with four other upper-year strangers, two of whom spoke little English and one of whom I saw only twice over four months of living together. They locked themselves in their own separate rooms, scurried to the washroom when needed, generally just kept to themselves and I followed suit.

I was miserable. I fell into a routine that started as eat-classsleep but evolved into sleep-sleepsleep and sleep some more. I had gone to class with all intentions of getting amazing grades, but that spark faded - fast. All-nighters for essays turned into no essay at all and missing a couple classes turned into no class at all. The long and the short of it is: I got lonely and gave up on everything else because of it. I felt the pressure of academic success and faltered on it when I didn’t have anybody around me for support.

I saw my university career as useless in four years so I thought I might as well admit defeat now.

I lost the one thing I took for granted: human interaction. This depressive state exists in student houses, apartments, commuters and even packed residences on-campus. Students become hermits when they have to budget their time around emotionally strenuous pressure to perform well in school. They just do not have time to properly recuperate from stress through relaxation and socialization, in what I would say, essentials to not kill yourself.

All through secondary and post-secondary education

we students are bombarded with fear - you could call them threats. We are told three basic premises: “you need to go to university”, “you need good grades in university to get a good job”, “don’t do any of those two and you will be a garbage man for the rest of your life.” These are the statements that the modern student mind revolves around.

These authoritative intimidations are assertions of attitude coming from the teachers, parents and students - these people being the most influential to the education system. It’s not like these are completely false statements at all; the economy is still recovering from 2008, fewer jobs are to be had, existing workers are retiring later and especially a growing number of high school graduates, out of societal imposition, choose to go to university creating an insanely competitive environment in comparison to previous decades. The university degree and ever-more so the quality of that degree is as well rising in importance as much as it is falling in value, as larger percentages of first-world populations are acquiring undergraduate degrees. The contemporary educational environment is one that cultivates mental illness

through the increased importance of its unfortunate necessity in capitalistic society.

It is easy to be just a number in university, as it is much too easy to fall into a routine of a never-ending lonely loop. Waking up, going to class, coming home, (maybe) doing homework, eating a couple times a day, watching a movie, going to sleep becomes a rudimentary and rigidly lonesome life. You repeat this process daily, all with insurmountable expectations, creating a mountain of stress.

This increasing importance on educational performance is reaching breaking point for many students. With the pressure coming from all aspects of their lives, a student can become helpless in a sea of papers due the next morning. Any human-being can fall to overwhelming pressure, students are no different.

Supported by shocking national statistics, this illustrates a university experience that entails a life of limited fun in fall to the need to devote as much time to educational performance at the expense of human saneness.

This is an epidemic with no clear cut solution in this capitalistic society. We can obviously start by building a

stronger economy but all that is known is that mental health should always precede a mark given out by a Scantron machine.

People are plenty aware of mental illness in society, but without a physical image for the disease, mental illness thrives on its covertness.

It seems university students are falling to mental illness faster than they are graduating.

“

“I was miserable. I fell into a routine that started as eat-classsleep but evolved into sleep-sleep-sleep and sleep some more.”

Thursday, March 13, 2014

theSil.ca

OPINIONS

For sale: Canadian law

A9

FIPA facts FIPA is a bilateral agreement signed as a way to promote foreign investment through legal obligations. Currently, Canada has 24 FIPAs with countries like Russia and Czech Republic.

No debate Kept secret until its revealing, the signed agreement does not require debate in Parliament.

Impunity FIPA sells Canadian legal structure to Chinese partners and Canadians are the ones who will suffer Bianca Caramento The Silhouette On September 26th, 2013, the Conservative Party of Canada tabled the Canada-China Foreign Investment Protection Promotion Agreement (FIPA) in the House of Commons. This agreement would allow China to sue Canada for loss of profits in the case of legal interference. For instance, if a Canadian legislature passes environmental or labour regulations that get in the way of Chinese foreign investors, they can sue the government for legislating in such a manner.

It gets better. Not only would these lawsuits be settled in unaccountable tribunals outside of Canada, we would be locked into this agreement for 31 years. Article 35 of the agreement stipulates that parties can not even begin the process of termination for 15 years. Once a request to terminate has been filed, FIPA requires an additional 15 years notice before cancellation, which will officially occur the following year.

To put things into perspec-

tive, the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) requires six months notice to cancel. Simply put, FIPA forfeits Canadian sovereignty and abandons the interests of Canadians. It cheapens democracy by overriding the will of the people, who have elected representatives to legislate in a particular fashion.

It prohibits future governments from exiting an agreement that stands to cost taxpayers billions of dollars in lawsuits. It denies our country the opportunity to pursue our goals in environmental sustainability, protect workers’ rights, and adapt to shifting global markets.

In what world does this sound like a good idea? Stephen Harper’s world. According to the official government website, FIPA is meant to provide “a stable legal framework to promote and protect foreign investment”. This goal is accompanied by a slew of stats and figures, which are meant to demonstrate just how much money stands to flow our way, thanks to foreign investment. It conveniently leaves out how much

money we stand to lose.

Moreover, the Conservatives point out that “according to the UNCTAD 2005 World Investment Report, an unusually high number of new policies introduced by host governments in 2004 made conditions less favourable for foreign companies to enter the market and affects the domestic investment conditions”.

Well, colour me surprised.

Who knew that policies, geared towards sustainability and worker’s rights, would steer away investors who are looking to pillage land and disregard its inhabitants to make a profit. What confuses me is why our federal government wishes to cater to those sorts of investors, when their wish to challenge Canadian law directly subverts the will of the Canadian people.

However, Armageddon is not yet upon us. There remains a ray of hope. Although the agreement has been signed, it has yet to be ratified. This is largely thanks to outcry from groups, like the Hupacasath First Nation, who submitted an application to

challenge FIPA and prevent its ratification. The Hupacasath First Nation is arguing that the federal government had the duty to consult with their band, but failed to do so.

Seeing as how the treaty would greatly affect First Nations peoples and their right to self-government, they have sought action through the courts. Their first attempt to challenge FIPA in court proved unsuccessful; however, the Hupacasath First Nation is currently seeking to appeal the decision. Potentially, their actions stand in the way of ratifying FIPA. With any luck, we can put this all behind us.

Perhaps, in a few years, we will all look back on how dangerously far the Harper government was willing to risk our nation’s sovereignty, values, tax dollars and democracy in the name of foreign investment.

China’s companies are the focus of the agreement, and they can sue for decisions made by any level of government in Canada if they thought unequal treatment was occurring.

Opposition All political opposition to the conservatives are calling for debate and oversight, instead of ratification which would result in a deal that was locked in place for 31 years.

One sided People have argued that there is no reciprocity in the agreement. Canadian investors are put at a disadvantage to Chinese ones.

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Thursday, March 13, 2014

theSil.ca

B1 Track star shows that hitting the books won’t slow her down

Editors Laura Sinclair & Alexandra Reilly Email sports@thesil.ca @SilSports

B3

Phone 905.525.9140 x27117

S BASKETBALL

Marauders hang up hoops season Scott Hastie The Silhouette McMaster went home empty-handed, but they should be proud of their accomplishments.

After dropping the first CIS Final 8 appearance since 2006 to Carleton, the Marauders men’s basketball team ran the Atlantic University Sport champions out of the arena. The team dropped 98 points – a tournament high – and conceded 71 to blowout the Saint Mary’s Huskies. The game had no real meaning, since the fifth-place game was booted in favour of television scheduling.

“Do I think it’s a good idea to have a consolation game without a consolation final? No, I don’t.

But when you’re in it, you have to create meaning,” said McMaster head coach Amos Connolly.

There was no shortage for motivation, though. McMaster was seeded No. 7 of eight teams in the tournament, and Saint Mary’s was just ahead of them at No. 6.

The Huskies spent the majority of the season either unranked, or below McMaster. “[The game] meant something from the standpoint of where we were seeded, it being Nathan Pelech’s last game, because even if you’re graduating one guy, there’s always more turnover than that,” said Connolly.

Saint Mary’s was ranked higher because of a stipulation that says a conference winner cannot be seeded lower than sixth.

McGill, the Quebec conference winner, was seeded fifth. Both of those teams lost their consolation round games, speaking to a larger issue with how the seeding process happens.

“Right, wrong or otherwise, the conversation about seeding came up. But when you’re dealing with the 20-year old mind … you use whatever you can to motivate it,” said Connolly.

And now, the off-season begins. The players get two weeks

off, before the strength and conditioning program begins. It’s an “11-and-a-half month season” according to Connolly. For some of the players though, the break could not be at a worse time.

Leon Alexander has rounded into form over the past two weekends, and been able to fully exert himself on both ends of the court.

He put together a single-handed 13-0 over the Huskies that essentially blew the game open.

Adam Presutti has been playing the most effective basketball of the past two seasons and shown serious growth as a leader with the team. On the bus ride home from Ottawa, he was discussing training with strength and conditioning coach Josh Ford. (Also, Ford confirmed via Twitter that he accepted a position with the University of Guelph as their head coach of strength and conditioning.)

The OUA is ripe for a changing of the winner of the Wilson Cup. According to Wayne Kondro of The Ottawa Citizen, Terry Thomas will flee to greener pastures for a pro contract in Europe.

Thomas spent one season with the Ottawa Gee-Gees.

Carleton will graduate two starters in Tyson Hinz and Kevin Churchill. The Ravens will still have the Scrubb brothers, but the loss of Hinz and Churchill will leave a large hole in the frontcourt.

While the 2013-14 campaign did not end with the finish that McMaster wanted, the conversation does not involve the word “disappointment.” Coaches talk about the “process,” and a win at the national tournament only accelerates the process to hoisting the W.P. McGee trophy. With the majority of the rotation returning, McMaster is poised to make the next season an historic one. @Scott1Hastie

TOP: #13 Nathan McCarthy at the tip off for the second to last Marauders game of their playoff run.

LEFT: Guard #25 Adam Prescutti shows that Mac won’t go down without a fight, even to a team most deem invincible in the scope of the CIS. BOTTOM LEFT: Forward #6 Leon Alexander formed the cornerstone of the Marauders’ offensive against the St. Mary’s Huskies, the opponent for the consolation game.

BOTTOM: 6’7” Ravens’ Kevin Churchill proved to be too vicious for the Marauders’ defense, ultimately leading to the 64-82 disappointment that ended the rise of this McMaster Men’s Basketball season.

PHOTOS C/O VALERIE WUTTI

SPORTS

Thursday, March 13, 2014

theSil.ca

B2

The Olympics of sportswriting National Post sports columnist Bruce Arthur writes about his experience at the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi Bruce Author The Ubyssey

CO/BRUCE ARTHUR

CO/JOHN LEVAC

VANCOUVER - The first time you cover the Olympics, it feels like someone dropped you in the ocean and told you to swim for it, have a great time, good luck.

There’s just so much. Every Olympics feels this way, as it turns out, no matter how many you’ve done.

There is always so much.

Someone told me early in my career that the Olympics are also the Olympics of sports writing, and it’s true. Sochi was my fourth Games; Beijing was the first. My job in Sochi was simple: cover Canada, but not just Canada. The Olympics is the one time you really get to cover the world, and when I go I want to cover the whole of it; the sports, the politics, the experience, everything.

So you work. In Sochi I worked about 16 hours a day, if I had to guess; that’s about average.

I was so tired. We were all so tired. By the end, journalists are a hobo tribe. The Olympics are a barrel of exhaustion for the soul.

But it’s worth it. On one Wednesday in Sochi I got up at 6:15 on three hours’ sleep, was on a bus to the mountains by 7:30, covered slopestyle for seven hours, wrote it, ate a meal cobbled together out of apples and water and a cake-like yellowish thing with raisins in it, covered the half-pipe where Shaun White lost, ran out of the mixed zone and under the bleachers as White’s last run ended to get a Canadian cross-country coach on the phone after he’d given a ski to a Russian competitor, scrambled back, slipping on the snow, covered the half-pipe until White finally spoke around midnight, wrote one of the columns on the bus ride back down the mountain, wrote the other one in the Main Press Centre (MPC), missed the 3 a.m. bus, had a beer with a colleague in the media bar, caught the 4 a.m. bus, decided to have two more beers with the same colleague in the media village bar because at the

Olympics you start to get punchy after a while, and went to bed 24 hours after I started.

Great day.

And then there was another.

And another. Every Olympics is a tidal wave of sensory information, of challenges, a lifetime. You need to figure out the bus schedule, the competition schedule, the venue locations, the places to eat (I carry chocolate bars in my bag, because they’re like food steroids), the places to nap (I napped on my keyboard during a mixed doubles match at Wimbledon in 2012 while waiting for a later match) and some local customs.

English is the lingua franca of the world, but learning some words of Russian helped — “hello,” “thank you,” “Russia and Canada are friends.” Talking to volunteers taught me so much about Russia.

You always try to talk to people, because when you’re covering everything, anything can come in handy.

You have to figure out your hotel. My Sochi hotel wasn’t a huge problem — I lost hot water for 24 hours — but I’d talked to so many people with issues early on that I could write a hotel problems column on day two, as the jet lag subsided. Everything can be material.

And once you have those fundamentals down, you try to choose the right story, and then the right story again, and again, and again. And you will be wrong, often. When Denny Morrison won his unexpected silver medal in men’s long-track speed skating after teammate Gilmore Junio stepped aside, I sprinted most of the kilometre from the MPC to the speed skating, and I stood in the mixed zone wheezing, sweat running down my back. Then I chased down Junio’s brother and sister at Canada House. They said they cheered for Denny like he was family.

Sometimes you will stumble on stories. In Sochi I walked into a press conference for the Dufour-Lapointe family the

day after two of the sisters won medals and felt my eyes well up as their parents poured out their love and pride and regrets. It was beautiful. There’s a lot of crying at the Olympics.

And that’s why the Olympics are the best, too. It’s the widest possible canvas, the richest possible material, and it matters so much to so many people. People might cry because they win or because they lose or because their child just competed on the world’s biggest stage. But it matters, so much. You might even cry. It’s OK. Because the more you experience the Olympics, the more you work and grind and care, the better you swim in the ocean, and the more it feels like home.

Republished with permission from The Ubyssey, the University of British Columbia’s student newspaper.

“

“By the end, journalists are a hobo tribe. The Olympics are a barrel of exhaustion for the soul.

But it’s worth it.”

Bruce Arthur, Ubyssey Alumni, National Post columnist

theSil.ca

SPORTS

Thursday, March 13, 2014

B3

McMaster’s Superwoman

Maddy McDonald is at the top of her class in both track and in the classroom - and there’s no sign of the OUA community service award recipient stopping anytime soon

yoseif haddad/photo editor

Laura Sinclair Sports Editor If McMaster held a contest for one of the most accomplished students to represent the Maroon and Grey’s athletics, then Maddy McDonald would definitely be in the running - if not take the whole prize.

McDonald, a second-year kinesiology student, has just finished a season that saw her qualify for the CIS track championships where she was ranked fifth overall in the 3000 m after an incredible races at McGill and Boston University. At the race in Boston, she ran to a ridiculously fast time of 9:34 - two seconds off of her personal best time of 9:32 that she ran this summer at the Junior National Track Championships.

She finished second over-

all at the Junior National Track Championships, which solidified her spot on the Junior National Canadian team, and to the Junior Pan Am Games. She finished with a silver in this race - and after winding down her summer track season, she immediately had to begin training for cross country.

“I took a little break after Pan Ams, but I think I raced on august 25th, and the first cross country race was in October so it was pretty quick,” said McDonald.

After a successful summer of extremely intense training and competition, McDonald had little time to rest before transitioning her training from shorter track intervals, to longer cross country intervals.

The incredibly intense training throughout the summer was hard for McDonald to bounce back from this season after min-

imal rest and recovery - but she still managed to perform incredibly well despite this, and she ran to some exceptionally fast times.

On top of her back-to-back seasons both in cross country and track, McDonald is extremely involved in the community. She was recently awarded the OUA community service award in cross country for her contributions as an executive for McMaster Athletes Care.

“I’m the coordinator for the Boys and Girls Club, so that includes weekly visits on Tuesday nights, and we bring volunteer student-athletes to hang out with the kids,” said McDonald.

One of the events McDonald organized included the Boys and Girls cheerleading club performing their cheer routine during half-time at the Marauders women’s basketball game.

McDonald became interested in becoming more involved with the Boys and Girls club after volunteering there in first-year for McMaster Athletes Care.

“Some of the coordinators suggested that I apply for an exec position, and I wasn’t sure that I was going to get it, but I did get on, so that was pretty exciting. So now I’m in charge of that, and I really enjoy it,” said McDonald.

Along with her accomplishments on the track and within the community, McDonald is also an exceptional student, maintaining a stunning 11.3 average with a full course load.

Coach Schnurr describes McDonald as a “type A personality” and as a student athlete that excels from being really busy.

“She’s extremely committed and very, very, driven, and that translates in everything she does,” said Schnurr.

The hard-working, determined and self-driven qualities of individual sport athletes also tends to show in their performance in the class room, and McDonald is the perfect example of that.

“In individual sport, it takes a certain individual to excel and commit to doing what it takes, and I think you need to be a certain type of person that’s willing to take that on, and as a result, those people take on the same approach with everything they tend to do, and that’s why they’re so successful,” said Coach Schnurr.

Although McDonald is extremely successful in a range of different areas, she is still working on finding that perfect balance of athletics, academics and community service work.

This year has been a huge adjustment for the young athlete, especially after having a very long and extremely competitive first year, that saw her compete at the World Junior Cross country Championships in Poland just five months before she sported the Canadian singlet once again at Junior Pan Ams on the track.

“Coach Schnurr always nags me about over-committing myself in too many things, so I’m just working on finding the right balance so I could maximize each,” said McDonald.

“I think that’s just who Maddy Mcdonald is. When she takes

something on, she does it 100 percent, she’s very committed, so when someone is like that, doing a lot of things, and trying to do them well, sometimes one of them might suffer a bit,” said Coach Schnurr.

In the latter part of the track season, McDonald’s time in the 3000 m got slower. But Schnurr believes that she still did well, especially given her other commitments outside of track.

“She was trying to do a lot and fit everything in, and sometimes things don’t go the way you want in all of them, she’s definitely worked through it, and I’m really impressed with how she did run despite all the other things she is involved in,” said Schnurr.

As of right now, the plan for McDonald is to go into the cross country season differently this year, with taking a bit of a rest so that she can be at her best shape in the fall.

“I think she’ll take a long break from competition, and I think once she takes her downtime and re-charges her battery, we’ll talk about what the best plan will be,” said Coach Schnurr.

McDonald has learned a lot this year in terms of managing all that she has going on, and after a summer season of consistent training, recovery, and rest from competition, there is no telling what kind of performances she can pull off both in cross country and track.

“I think there’s more in her, and I think she feels that there is too,” said Schnurr.

“This is a year that she has learned a little bit, and I think she can apply what she’s learned in the next few years while she’s here, and help her in reaching her goals, and that may very well be a podium position.”

After a season of highs and lows, for Maddy McDonald, one thing is for sure: she is an incredibly gifted athlete, and an incredibly gifted student. For this kind of high-performance individual, the sky is the limit. @Lsinkky

The CIS Final 8 experience Scott Hastie The Silhouette After my first trip to the CIS Final 8, I’m left with mixed feelings.

Full credit is due to the event staff, who did a great job of supplying food and drinks all weekend. But they are stuck in a tough spot, trying to put lipstick on a pig.

The Final 8 tournament is supposed to be the best basketball of the season, featuring the most talented teams squaring off for three days. Media comes out in droves, with major print outlets such as the Globe and Mail, Sun News Network, and the Ottawa Citizen sending reporters to the event. Sportsnet broadcasts the bronze and gold medal games, with long-time CIS follower and broadcaster Tim Micallef doing play-by-play and former Brock coach Ken Murray providing colour commentary.

But for all the attention it gets, the conversation on press row and in the media room swings to the issues that have faced the tournament for years and there are a lot of them.

To be clear, one of the issues is not that Carleton has won 10 of the past 12 championships. No doubt, the dominance of Carleton has probably turned some people off from tuning in, because there is a belief that the same team always wins. But they do not win because of sheer luck or the CIS gifting them an easy road to the trophy.

This takedown starts well before the first game begins. The CIS lets the host team get an automatic berth in the tournament. I get that this is a way to encourage teams to host the tournament, but it is a detriment to the quality of the tournament. The Final 8 tour-

nament, in theory, is supposed to be the best eight teams of the 45 team field. Giving a team a berth for hosting the event undermines competition.

This year, Carleton was host so they got an automatic bid.

Since the Ravens started the year as the No. 1 team, there is no seemingly real damage in letting them host. But what if disaster strikes, and the Ravens suffer some injuries to key players and make them a complete dud in the tournament? You’ve now watered down the field and given the team they face in quarterfinals an inherently easier game.

And then there is the bizarre stipulation that says all conference champions can’t be seeded lower than sixth. Why would someone sign off on this? That’s a serious question. By ensuring that someone cannot get a low seed, the idea of seeding is ruined. Just look at this year’s tournament: No. 7 McMaster and No. 8 Saskatchewan (more on them in a second) defeated No. 6 Saint Mary’s and No. 5 McGill, respectively. Both of the lower seeds walloped the teams that were seeded higher.

Also, McMaster gave Carleton a more difficult run than No. 3 Alberta did.

Did the seeding create the best possible match-ups? Absolutely not. The No. 4 Victoria-No. 5 McGill game should have been the closest contest, but it was clear that McGill had no business in that game. The whole tournament suffered as a result, with all games in the quarterfinals being blowouts. Alberta and Saint Mary’s, the No. 3 vs. No. 6, was the closest game with a ten-point margin, but it never felt competitive.

Back to USask, who was awarded the at-large berth this year. The at-large berth is deter-

mined by a number of categories, such as wins over top-ten teams, time spent in the top-ten rankings and a handful of other factors.

CIShoops.ca parsed through the criteria and found that Ryerson was the best shot at the at-large berth, but tied with USask and Acadia. Thing is, Ryerson lost to Ottawa by a point to miss Final Four and gave Carleton their best scare of the season. They would have been a real threat to No. 1 Ottawa. Instead, Sask got blown out in the quarterfinal.

This scratches the surface of the issues with the tournament.

There was no fifth-place game this year, but there were consolation games. Ottawa was the No. 1 seed and got saddled with the 8 p.m. game on Saturday night and had to play at 2 p.m. the next day when they won. Factor in the clocks being wound forwards, and the Gee-Gees had a 15-hour turnaround.

The CIS has to address the issues of the tournament.

They probably won’t, because progressive isn’t exactly a word that gets thrown around in the same sentence as CIS. With the tournament hitting Ryerson next year, they have an opportunity to create a buzz in the largest host city that nationals has ever hit. At this point, nearly any alterations would be an improvement. But the CIS had 54,000 people attend the tournament this weekend, so maybe they think everything is okay. It’s not, but the leadership of the CIS seem content to play it safe.

C/O VALERIE WUTTI

@Scott1Hastie

C/O MIKE BEASLEY

Thursday, March 13, 2014

theSil.ca

B4

Could Carleton compete?

CIS proponents are whispering about the Ravens’ capability of combatting NCAA teams, but where do they stand up against the NBA bottom-liners? advantage in coaching, either.

Dave Smart has one of the most recognizable voices of all-time.

The high-pitched yelling is sure The Carleton Ravens have to throw off Milwaukee’s Giannis claimed 10 of the past 12 CIS Antetokoumpo, who only recently Final 8 championships. discovered smoothies. The Bucks No university in Canada can coach is Larry Drew, whose last fly with them. In the past four name is definitely not as good as years, they have won 132 games Smart. Drew is half of a name, so and lost three. Carleton has he’s at best, half the coach as his outgrown Canadian InteruniverCIS counterpart. sity Sport, and it is time for them More importantly, the to move on to more challenging Bucks are a smoldering mess of opponents. polyester, synthetic leather and It has been often debated extremely long limbs attempting that the Ravens could compete to play the sport in the NCAA, that a Canadian but I think that created. Two is selling them of their players short. I say that “Forget the NCAA, got in fights in Carleton could the past month, compete with Carleton could be an and it’s actualthe Milwaukee NBA franchise.” ly impressive Bucks. Yep, that they didn’t that’s right. fight each other.

Phil Scrubb Carleton could push their buttons is apparently on the radar for an and cause some ejections.

NBA contract, so obviously he You cannot forget that the could handle the Bucks. And, Ravens have already beat a team he plays basketball while only from the state of Wisconsin this having his mouthguard halfway year. The University of Wisconsin in. Splashing threes while using Badgers lost in exhibition action, a chew toy takes some pretty and really, the Milwaukee Bucks serious talent. are probably worse than WisconLook down the roster for the sin.

Ravens and you’ll find even more Milwaukee has won 13 games talent. In the CIS championship and lost 50, as of March 13. That’s game, Tyson Hinz hit a fade-away a lot of games, you guys. Carleton jumper from the block that was won 33 games and lost one, by reminiscent of Dirk Nowitzki’s one point. shot. What else do Hinz and Forget the NCAA, Carleton Nowitzki have in common? Neicould be an NBA franchise. The ther is from the United States and stats don’t lie. both have blonde hair. I like my odds for Hinz taking on a front@Scott1Hastie court of Ersan Ilyasova, Miroslav Radulijca and John Henson.

You can’t forget the distinct Scott Hastie The Silhouette

“

Stop right there!

Contact our sports editors immediately to get involved with writing and photographing for the sports section. sports@thesil.ca or Fridays @ 3 p.m. in MUSC B110

MILWAUKEE BUCKS

CARLETON RAVENS REGULAR SEASON RECORD

Division Titles since 1971

LAURELS

Of the last 12 CIS Championships

Championship win in 1971

2013/14 POINTS PER GAME

2013/14 FIELD GOAL %

POINTS ALLOWED PER GAME

LEADING SCORER CONCLUSION

Look at this. How can you possibly say that Milwaukee would beat Carleton? The Ravens beat them in nearly every category. Adam Silver should trade the Bucks for the Ravens, for basketball reasons.

theSil.ca

SPORTS

Thursday, March 13, 2014

B5

A rookie makes his mark Marauder rookie Danny Vandervoort took no time at all to adapt to his new surroundings and make his mark on the McMaster football club by earning a starting position this season “My goal was to get to start but not get the resentment, but that never happened which was great.”

Marauder football rookie Danny Despite stellar freshman Vandervoort had a season that statistics which would lead Danny many veterans work all their to both an OUA Rookie of the careers to achieve, and it’s only his year and CIS Rookie of the year first year playing at the university win, it all came down to achieving level. time on the field.

It didn’t take long at all for “As a rookie I just basically the Barrie, Ont. native to find his wanted a spot on that field, that place in the Marauder football was my main goal and everything club and prove to many that he else that happened for me was just was going to be a starter this sort of above and beyond.” season.

“I ended up starting my first The Bear Creek Secondary week here, which was amazing School graduate topped off and going off from there. I never his rookie season with 31 total planned on it.” catches for 594 yards and eight Being a part of the Marauders touchdowns in eight season means being apart of something games. bigger than a football team. To Although the game of Danny Vandervoort, it’s about football has always been his being a part of a family unit. primary focus, Danny also “Being a Marauder means dabbled with some success being a family. in both You go to other basketball universities and and track, you don’t really though his “I really just wanted to have that feel. passion for There is a lot of the football fit in with the team but individualism is what kept making sure I wasn’t at other school’s him involved stepping on anybody’s but when you despite other come here, options. toes. My goal was to get you have great “Football to start but not get the players on the was always team but there my passion. resentment, but that is still always I played never happened which that great basketball was great.” camaraderie and ran with the team track in high Danny Vandervoort, Marauder and it just feels school but really great to be for me it football rookie a part of that.” really wasn’t With as fun,” said another season Vandervoort. come and gone for Marauder “It was just kind of something football and a series of challenges to do during the off-season to stay which lead to an early season in shape.” end for the Maroon and Grey, it Since he started playing seems that a player such as Danny the game at eight, Danny knew Vandervoort might be exactly that it was always going to be an what the Marauders need to help important part of his life, even bring home another Vanier Cup though he originally stumbled for the football club. upon the sport accidentally.

With everything he has “It was grade two when I achieved in his first season as a started playing football, my dad Marauder, Danny Vandervoort signed me up for a football camp knows that his work is nowhere but it ended up being a football close to being done. Five years league, so it sort of started out for can fly by and there is one thing me accidentally actually.” in particular that the number 83 With scouts all over the CIS in Maroon and Grey wants to trying to lure Danny to their accomplish for his University.

University, it was McMaster in “My goal here is to reach for the end that had the coaching another Vanier Cup, that is what staff, academics and facilities I really want to accomplish in to convince the rookie that my five years here. I want to get a McMaster was the most suitable national title for my school.” decision for him.

“McMaster was overall the @Miss_AReilly best fit for me, the academics were very high and with football being really good it was an easy decision for me,” said Vandervoort.

However, it wasn’t always smooth sailing, as being a rookie in general can prove to have it’s challenges when trying to find a rhythm at a new school and with a new team.

“I really just wanted to fit in with the team but making sure I wasn’t stepping on anybody’s toes,” said Danny.

Alexandra Reilly Assistant Sports Editor

C/O RICHARD ZAZULAK

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B6 Editors Amanda Watkins & Miranda Babbitt Email lifestyle@thesil.ca silhappens.tumblr.com

B2

Phone 905.525.9140 x27117

S

WHAT EXACTLY IS ST. PATRICK’S DAY? Since McMaster and every English-speaking country alike will be celebrating in the name of “Paddy,” here’s a brief history on the person and myths behind the name

390 C.E. “St. Patrick” himself wasn’t even Irish. He was born in Britain in 390 C.E. to an Aristocratic family.

When St. Patrick was 16, he was kidnapped and sent overseas to Ireland, where he was forced to tend sheep in a chilly, mountainous village.

According to folklore, a voice came to Patrick in a dream telling him to escape.

So he boarded a pirate ship soon after and managed to make his way back to Britain.

Then the voice returned.

And he was told to go back to Ireland. It was a strange and confused voice.

So he gets ordained as a priest by a bishop, moves to Ireland, and spends the rest of his life attempting to convert people to Christianity.

He died on March 17, 461 C.E., and he was forgotten for several hundred years. But as people learned of his history of disembodied voices, folklore began to grow around him, and centuries later, he was honoured as the patron saint of Ireland.

The tradition of the shamrock, or Trifolium Dubium, came about because Patrick allegedly used the clover’s three leaves to represent the Christian Holy Trinity.

A popular myth is that St. Patrick was able to banish every snake from Ireland (this was one of the “miracles” that had him canonized). But actually, there never were any snakes in Ireland, as the cold ocean waters surrounding the country would prevent snakes from migrating.

St. Patrick’s Day traditions first became popular in the US, when Irish-American citizens began hosting parades as a symbol of pride towards their heritage.

2014

The Chicago River is dyed green every year, just for kicks. It first started when a dye was used to identify pollution, and it stained the water a vivid neon colour.

After that, it just seemed fitting to dye it every year.

YOSEIF HADDAD / PHOTO EDITOR

(Although now it’s difficult to find the common symbol of St. Patrick’s Day, as several harsh winters both in Ireland, and here in Canada - have changed its course of growth.)

theSil.ca

Thursday, March 13, 2014

B7

LIFESTYLE

5 NOVELTY HOLIDAYS

you need to start celebrating NOW Is St. Patrick’s Day not your thing? Then try out some of these weird holidays!

Sarah O’Connor The Silhouette

TINKU “PUNCH YOUR NEIGHBOUR” FESTIVAL WHERE: Bolivia (Potosi and Macha) WHEN: May WHAT: If you have a neighbor you really hate then this festival is for

you! Every May in the Bolivian Andes Mountains thousands of people go to the city of Macha to participate in the annual Tinku Festival (Tinku being a Quechua word meaning an encounter or meeting) where people literally get into fights with their neighbours. The Tinku Festival is based on an old religious festival as a blood offering for the Goddess Pachamama to ensure a good harvest. The festival, while violent, isn’t nearly as deadly or bloody as ancient times. Now police patrol the event, keeping fights one on one and ending the fights once blood is shed.

Yes, you can buy these.

(Gap, $16.99)

BERMUDA DAY WHERE: The islands of Bermuda (temple of Pra Prang Sam Yot)

WHEN: May 24

WHAT: Do you have a passionate love for Bermuda shorts? If so than

this holiday is for you! Bermuda Day is the first day residents of the island go into the sea, recognizing it as the official end of winter. Another holiday tradition is that Bermuda shorts are recognized as clothes of business attire on this day. Aside from wearing Bermuda shorts all day long, residents also have boat races that entire families participate in.

LA TOMATINA WHERE: Buñol, Valencia, Spain WHEN: The last Wednesday of August (August 27 this year!)

WHAT: For those who love food fights, La Tomatina takes place

during a weeklong festival in Buñol in which participants throw overripe tomatoes at each other for fun! It’s a pretty self-explanatory event, and while it is a fun and messy time there are certain rules participants must follow:

1. Tomatoes must be squashed to avoid injuries.

2. Only tomatoes are allowed to be thrown.

3. Participants must allow trucks, buses, and cars room on the road.

4. Participants are not allowed to rip off their t-shirts.

5. No tomatoes should be thrown after the second shot indicating the end of La Tomatina.

MONKEY BUFFET FESTIVAL WHERE: Thailand

WHEN: Last Sunday of November WHAT: What’s cuter than monkeys? Monkeys eating at a buffet of

course! This Thai festival I thought to have origins from the Asain religious story of Rama who gave the province Lopburi to Hanuman, a monkey king. Keeping with traditions the Thai people hold the annual Monkey Buffet as tribute to Hanuman and as a tourist attractions. After all, who doesn’t want to see monkeys at a buffet?

Check online for the weirdest holiday of all... @notsarahconnor

Thursday, March 13, 2014

theSil.ca

B8

LIFESTYLE

RESTAURANT REVIEW

Burrito Bandidos 1028 King Street West Amanda Watkins LifeStyle Editor Finally, a local burrito that is easier to stomach than anything from Taco Del Mar. Two weeks ago, Burrito Bandidos, a small locally-owned Mexican cuisine chain with four locations in Toronto, opened its first Hamilton location in the heart of Westdale. Sandwiched between hair removal and pho noodles, its red banner and warm-weather cuisine is a bright and cheery reminder of our sheepish springtime.

Joined by two friends, I headed to the new location on a Wednesday around noon. The restaurant is open daily from 11 a.m. to 11 p.m., creating a window of time perfect for lunch, dinner, or pre-bar shenanigans (or post-bar for those of you with reasonable bedtimes). The restaurant was not busy, but they had an ample amount of staff working in the open concept kitchen where customers can watch their tightrolled taco heaven come to life.

We ordered Steak Quesadillas ($7.50), a small Spicy Pulled Pork

Burrito ($7), and as a vegetarian option, a small Bean and Cheese Burrito ($5.75) − they also offer an alternate “soy mix” as a vegan substitute for cheese. The prices are slightly more expensive than their King Street competitors, Burrito Boyz, but the extra few dollars may be worth it given its proximity to campus.

Overall the service was quite quick, and we didn’t have to wait more than 10 minutes for any of our meals. The quesadillas were generously sized and came with salsa and sour cream. They lost some points for a lack of guacamole. They also lost some points when their “steak” turned out to be ground beef, and the grease from the melted cheese and grilling oil created a small, transparent window at the bottom of the take-out container. The flavour was tasty, but the oozing liquid being secreted from the excessive amount of cheese took away from the experience.

The burritos on the other hand were a crowd-pleasing experience. The choose-yourown-topping station provided a variety of choices (thumbs up for

free guacamole) that made for a unique flavour combination.

Their burritos also came nicely packaged in a foil casing, as well as a narrow brown bag, that picked up spillage and messes in between bites.

They were generously sized, especially for a “small”, and extremely filling. The addition of rice in the bean and cheese option made it the favourite choice of the afternoon.

The restaurant itself is quite spacious with plenty of available seating for customers and a charming chili-shaped “Open” sign and silk-screened art. But the backless stools and a lack of coat hangers made it a bit difficult to comfortably enjoy our meal.

Enjoying a burrito does not mean you need to stay wrapped up like one.

All in all, the burritos were tasty and would be ideal for pre-Westdale Theatre munchies, or post-hair removal self pity.

Burrito Bandidos is keeping it wrapped up tight. @whatthekins AMANDA WATKINS / LIFESTYLE EDITOR

RESTAURANT REVIEW

Boo’s Bistro

164 James Street South

Miranda Babbitt Assistant LifeStyle Editor Boo’s Bistro might be the bestkept secret in the foodie world of Hamilton. Tucked away on one of the most charming streets in Hamilton, James St. South, Boo’s serves up an unforgettable dining experience. At first glance, this inconspicuous restaurant resembles something of a cozy hideaway, meant for the lucky few who’ve stumbled upon its doors. Open the door, and you’re greeted with an intimate set of dining tables and the aroma of a dish most likely in the process of redefining someone’s taste buds. Boo’s Bistro had me at, “Name please?”

It’s easy to see why most students aren’t aware of the secret spot, as this truly is a nod to a luxurious dining experience. The menu features entrées generally between $20 to $30, but, lemme tell you, it’s worth every dime – even if you’re digging for those dimes from a velcro McMaster wallet you got in first year. So even if you feel a vivid throwback to playing “big kid” when we draped pearls around our necks and toppling in oversized heels, embrace the fact that this restaurant is the real so-over-our-budget-but-there’s-really-good-wine deal. So before going further, I

C/O BOOSBISTRO.COM

thought I’d make it clear that for most this is very much a celebratory spot – not so much a “Wanna grab a quick bite?” spot that we’re generally used to here at LifeStyle.

On that note, definitely make a reservation, as they’re generally booked up by the time the weekend comes.

The intimacy at Boo’s Bistro sets the perfect scene for a date, because whisking a gal off her feet in the most old fashioned way possible with good food has hardly ever failed, especially if you ask me, myself, and I. The menu has some common favourites done to perfection – like steak and fries, er, pardon me, frites – and dishes that will elevate your taste buds to a very spoiled place – like duck breast. I even found that I wanted to eat off my date’s plate just as much as my own. Although I’d recommend refraining from sneaking a few unsolicited bites if you’re on a first date. (If you still go for it, you are my foodie hero.)

Now technically Boo’s Bistro is a wine bar. I am by no means a wine connoisseur, and am still very much lost when people refer to a wine as full-bodied or oaky.

(In fact, I walked away from this experience still having no idea as to how a wine can taste like a tree.) Regardless, I delved into the full experience, like the full-bod-

ied diner I am, and ordered the waitress’s suggestion. Here’s to the first wine I’ve ever enjoyed from start to finish! So alas, there is hope for any fellow wine “noobs”/ novice folks out there. And if you do happen to be a wine connoisseur, here’s a tip of a hat to you and a note that they do offer an impressive range of wines – even exclusive choices to Boo’s Bistro.

As with most restaurants, my least favourite thing in the world is waiting for what seems like a decade before the appetizer alone manages its way to my table. The service here, however, was both quick and surprisingly well timed.

They really do seem to take into account the dining experience as a whole, rather than just depending on the quality of their food to impress.

Lastly, the name “Boo” isn’t just made for the convenience of alliteration in the restaurant’s name. There really is a “Chef Boo”.

Marinade on that, my friends, as I count up the dimes in my wallet for my next dining experience at Boo’s Bistro. @mirandababbitt

RECIPE

Guinness “box cake” cupcakes Amanda Watkins LifeStyle Editor

INGREDIENTS

DIRECTIONS

While holiday-themed baking can result in a sugary feast of festive sweeties, it can definitely be a hassle while juggling party planning, outfit coordinating, and getting shit-faced on a Saturday morning.

These cupcakes are a halfway-homemade alternative to conventional baked goods and can easily be prepared between decorating and drunk texting.

•

1) Measure your ingredients 2) Follow the box cake instructions 3) That is all you have to do.

The only difference with this box cake is that instead of water, you’re cooking with beer 4) Garnish cupcakes with icing, and you’re done

• • • •

1 cup Guinness, or another stout of your choice Betty Crocker chocolate cake mix 3 eggs 1/3 cup vegetable oil Canned vanilla frosting to sweeten the deal

+

=

Thursday, March 13, 2014

theSil.ca

LIFESTYLE

SEXandthe STEELCITY

Texting under the influence

Jason Woo The Silhouette

list goes on.

Later that morning, you wake up with a headache and the nagging feeling that you did something you shouldn’t have.

When you check your phone you see the text you sent in all its elementary-school-level-English glory. After swearing off alcohol, now it’s time to figure out what to do next.

Since high school, I have heard the same lies constructed to recover from a drunk text: my friend did it as a sick prank, I didn’t mean to text you but I was really drunk or I meant to send that to someone else. No one is by any means convinced, and science has proven the situation just became 10 times more awkward.

Not acknowledging the truth only makes it worse, because you are convincing the other person that the issue has implications

It’s four in the morning and you’re at a random house party. Your friends are any number of things: passed out, belligerent, making out, the list goes on. As the party slowly clears out, you feel truly alone with your thoughts the first time that night. They are stronger than ever now, leaping over logical gaps that appeared seemingly insurmountable just a few hours ago. In a moment of weakness, you pull out your phone and start writing a text the length of a PhD dissertation. It could be because you had a fight with a significant other, you are wondering that you have been friend-zoned, or maybe that one person that one time looked at you funny and you want to make sure you’re cool with each other, you know? Again, the

SNAPS FOR

B9

How to recover from a dreaded drunk text that you don’t want to admit.

They read the text. There’s no going back. So how do you recover from a drunk text? Well… you don’t. Even if you pass off your lie, the nagging problem in your mind is unresolved and will come back stronger eventually.

Often when we have feelings that we feel we shouldn’t have, we bury them deep inside. Not only are you giving them undue power, you are also invalidating your own emotions. This is fundamentally wrong because your emotions are always valid, no matter what you or others say. Maybe you understand that you should not have these feelings, but it is important to accept that you are having them and to understand why you are having them rather than letting it fester in the back of your mind.

Instead, you should make

REVIEW

Have you ever wondered what exactly the products sitting in your makeup bag are made of? Neither have I really. But we need to – especially as some of the most popular cosmetics and personal care products are reeking of carcinogenic and toxic ingredients.

Think Dirty can change the way we think about what we’re putting on or in our bodies, even if the truth is “pretty damn gross”.

Partnered with the Breast Cancer Fund and their Campaign for Safe Cosmetics, this mobile app is a small but mighty way to revolutionize the way we buy makeup. There’s a scanning feature that works to recognize over 55,200 products. Once scanned or searched, the “dirty meter” tells you the usually painful truth in three categories: carcinogenicity, development and reproductive toxicity, and allergies & immunotoxicities. Once one of those three bars reaches the red end, you’re

D RU NKXTING ret TE pot of reg

Lulu

dealing with some pretty nasty stuff.

Most of all, Think Dirty educates us to become less intimidated by the chemicals we can barely say in one breath by telling us exactly what we need to know: the primary usage and health impacts.

Staying healthy comes hand in hand with awareness, and Think Dirty helps promote exactly that. @mirandababbitt

E E R F

anymore, so have an honest conversation to hash things out.

It may not always end well, but it’s the best shot you have, and at least you always get closure.

P S t.

REVIEW

Think Dirty Miranda Babbitt Assistant LifeStyle Editor

use of this opportunity. You’ve opened the can of worms, now you might as well just talk it through with the other person.

The hardest part of bringing the issue up is not a problem atrick’s

FREE

Amanda Watkins LifeStyle Editor Labelled as the “first ever app for girls” (I honestly don’t know what that means, does my gender prevent me from enjoying Instagram and Plants vs. Zombies?), Lulu is a virtual ranking system that allows a female-only audience to rank their male friends, lovers, exlovers, and crushes on a scale of one to ten based on appearance, personality and habitual behaviour.

While its main intention is to help girls “make smarter decisions” (as explained on their website), it comes across as more of a degrading and insulting forum that encourages people to make quick and rash decisions based on gossip from complete strangers.

The app requires its users to log in via Facebook, where they will then be linked to profiles for their male friends. The interface is compiled of a large collage of faces and profiles which users can

tap on, read, and contribute too.

Users have the option to provide men with a number ranking, define what their relationship to them is (i.e. friend, ex, crush), and then describe them using brief sentences and hastags (i.e. #boysgotgame, #disappears, or #cheapasabigmac). In the collage setting, men are given an averaged ranking with a list of their most popular hashtags, while users can click on their profiles and read the full descriptions.

While it is a laugh at times, it can also be sad to see your friends getting low rankings or insulting descriptions, and makes you feel like a massive stalker (especially the “Last Seen At” option).

And while it is user friendly for straight female clients, it isn’t very inclusive for other sexualities.

Overall, Lulu has good intentions, but is the creepy neighbour equivalent of apps. @whatthekins

OPIRG McMaster Board of Directors Nomination Period and Annual General Meeting March 11 – April 1, 2014 Tuesday, April 8, 2014 @ 6 PM The Ontario Public Interest Research Group (OPIRG) McMaster aims to link research with action on a broad range of social justice and environmental issues, both locally and globally. Through research, proactive education, community networking and action, OPIRG empowers individuals to become active participants in the decisions which affect their lives. If you are interested in having the “OPIRG Experience”, consider joining our Board of Directors.

Please contact OPIRG for further information on: *the role and responsibilities of a Board of Director *the nomination form and the election process

Election Date and Annual General Meeting Tuesday, April 8, 2014 @ 6 PM MUSC Room 318 All Welcome!

Contact Us: opirg@mcmaster.ca 905-525-9140 ext. 27289 MUSC 229

theSil.ca

Thursday, March 13, 2014

LIFESTYLE

B10

x Jemma Wolfe

Executive Editor, The Silhouette English and Theatre & Film Studies, ‘13

Wearing:

The entirety of this week’s Threadcount features clothing and jewellery from Threadwork’s Clothing Swap. Make sure to bring in your used clothes for the next event and swap them for clothes that will refresh your spring wardrobe!

What are your fave thrifted items?

“A Lanvin seagull dress for twenty bucks, a silk Gauguin print shirt, and of course, this crazy Moschino blazer.”

Where’s your fave thrift shop?

“Deja Vu Used & New Clothing Accessories on King Street West.”

YOSEIF HADDAD / PHOTO EDITOR

ST. PATRICK’S DAY-FRIENDLY FASHION Jennifer Bacher The Silhouette

LADS

LASSES Target, $10 Show your St. Patrick’s Day sprit by wearing green. Every outfit isn’t complete without a cotton St. Paddy’s themed shirt. There are hundreds of them out there and come in multiple styles and colours. Pair it with a chic black skirt.

Target, $10 Guys can’t go wrong with a St. Patrick’s Day themed shirt with jeans. Stores like Target, Hot Topic, Joe Fresh, and Boat House all have great deals on themed shirts right now.

TOMS, $55 Green Toms are perfect for spring weather and to show some green pride.

Forever 21, $23.80 This black skirt from Forever 21 is a reminder that spring is near and to add to the St. Patrick’s day cheer (and also to keep warm) pair the skirt with some thick tights.

American Apparel, $48

Light sweaters, like the ones seen at American Apparel, are perfect for all day festivities!

Joe Fresh, $20 These glittery pairs of shoes are even more darling than Dorothy’s ruby shoes. She should have dressed the part for the emerald palace with these beauts!

Urban Outfitters, $14 These faux thigh-high tights are the perfect transition piece into spring.

And showing a bit more skin in the sneakiest of ways is just such a leprechaun move.

Party City, $8 Add in a pair of fun sunglasses and you are ready for St. Patrick’s Day.

Claire’s for $8.50 It’s not St. Paddy’s day without some over the top acccessories.

Claire’s is always a good place to find over the top hair and jewelry ideas if you want to find something different then your typical dollar store finds. Harmony by Earthwinds is another place to find shirts and scarfs perfect for St. Patrick’s day and they even have a store in Westdale.

find the winners of our short story contest inside

PIECE OF CAKE (WHATEVER THAT MEANS)

ANDY: THE SHORT STORY ISSUE “Among other things, you’ll find that you’re not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You’re by no means alone on that score, you’ll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally

theSil.ca

Thursday, Feb. 27, 2014

ANDY E-mail: andy@thesil.ca

Senior Editor: Bahar Orang

Meeting Time: Tuesdays @ 5:30 p.m.

Assistant Editor: Cooper Long

Phone: (905)•525•9140 ext 27117

Contributors: Shane Madill, Yara Farran, Yagana Samim

Cover: Salinger

coming up in the hammer the casbah •mar. 13 | the durians •mar. 14 | the hammer anticts •mar. 15 | undercurrent •mar. 17 | live rock fundraiser

homegrown hamiltonmusic

•mar. 13 | the plain steel •mar. 15 | holy roller

this ain't hollywood •mar. 14 | tv freaks •mar. 17 | this aint patrick's day •mar. 18 | hello cat piano •mar. 19 | johnny winter

club absinthe

cinema

•mar. 13 | arsonists get all the girls •mar. 14 | jersey •motown wednesdays!!

•mar. 17 | st. patrick's party

westdale theatre • until mar. 20 | particle fever • until mar. 14 | the past

art

mcmaster museum •until may 3 | margaret watkins: domestic symphonies •until mar 29 | jon w. ford:

house not a home •until mar 29 | françois dallegret:

beyond the bubble •ongoing | antiquities •apr. 8 - 26 | chiasmata:

summa 2014,

graduating art student

exhibition

Within the layers of these pages you'll find the winners of our short story contest, all based on the following prompt: "piece of cake." Each slice is lightly frosted with heartbreak and mayhem and sprinkled with colourful characters. Thank you to all who entered.

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theSil.ca

ANDY

Thursday, March 13, 2014

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EDITORIAL

Our take on cake Should I bake a cake? I have all the ingredients eggs and flour and baking power and vanilla extract and cocoa but maybe I should make it healthy then I’ll need some avocado but who puts avocado inside a cake that makes no sense but then I can eat some except it won’t taste as good so maybe I’ll make it pretty and take a photo and share the picture somewhere then I won’t eat any except for just one lick off

my finger oh who am I kidding I’ll eat the whole damn thing and even lick the crumbs off the platter then feel sick and stupid and silly except you know maybe cake isn’t the way to go maybe I should cook something like salmon or asparagus and oysters ew oysters that’s more impressive like all the yelling manly cooks I could be tough like them instead of this frilly apron thing but baking is harder than it looks you have to measure things there’s more math involved and some chemistry you can’t just

toss a bunch of randoms in a pan and call it a day except I’m still not sure maybe I should just leave the kitchen and parade a sign outside that says something cool and smart but all I want right now is something sweet and lovely like a cake and how nice that I want to make it and not buy it I’ll spend more time but spend less money or would it make a difference if there was something clever written on the cake or what if I made cupcakes that looked like little cu- also who makes just one cake only

ding cake with fondant butterflies had come in, and so whiteaproned figures were scrambling all around. Amid this commotion, they two had accidentally collided. They had both worked in the kitchen for a while, but for some reason they had never come into contact until then.

It wasn’t just a superficial bond that they shared in that moment. She could feel that they had a powerful, almost elemental compatibility. They had both bubbled with the giddy excitement of meeting someone you truly connect with.

They eventually returned to their respective stations, and since then they had not interacted once. Somehow they tended to stay on their own sides of the room. During the day, she rarely left her post next to the Hobart industrial dough mixer.

Sometimes she suspected that people in the kitchen were deliberately trying to keep the two separated. She sensed that others thought they were wrong for each other. But no one who had seen them together could deny that they had chemistry.

Suddenly, the little box of

baking soda’s reverie was interrupted. A pastry chef removed her from the high shelf next to the Hobart industrial dough mixer, raised her above a bowl of dry ingredients, and shook twice.

As soon as she was returned to her proper place, her gaze immediately returned to the jug of vinegar across the kitchen. Yes, the little box thought, the next time they got together it was going to be explosive. And messy.

Bahar Orang ANDY Editor

Cooper Long ANDY Editor She looked at him across the crowded bakery kitchen.

Through a tangle of pots hanging from the ceiling and several racks of cooling cakes, she could see him standing next to the refrigerator. He was illuminated by the reflections from its stainless steel doors, and seemingly oblivious to her persistent stare.

She thought back to the first time they had met. It had been a frantic day one month ago. A rush order for a six-tiered wed-

for themselves that can’t be good should I make it for my mom or dad or boyfriend but there’s no birthdays coming up so can’t I make one just for fun is that so wrong it’s pleasurable and personal and yes I’ll be the one to decide just for one evening I want to wear this thing with the pink polka dot print and bake a cake and make it baby blue with a few drops of food colouring the batter gosh who knew this question was so hard. @baharoh

@coop_long

the

big

tickle favourite type of cake?

LIZ POPE /ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR KACPER NIBURSKI /OPINIONS EDITOR

Ashly C.

Monica L.

Salonee T.

Nicole B.

Hongren Z.

“Cheesecake”

“Ice Cream”

“Rainbow”

“Angel Food”

“Cheesecake”

theSil.ca

Thursday, March 13, 2014

ANDY

1

FIRST PLACE shane madill

who takes the cake...

S

he burst through the door and threw her scarf and coat to the floor, but meticulously draped her blazer over the chair.

Her heels hit the wooden panels as she kicked them off. The sharp sound cut through the music and noises that screamed from behind the closed bedroom door. He appeared from the room. A smile cracked his face at the sight of her as she, in all her beauty and confidence, continued to drop clothes. Sweat dripped down from his brow as the efforts of his work took their toll and mixed with the fresh paint on his previously white t-shirt. The violent expression of abstract art on the paper that covered his bedroom floor had more work to do, but both knew that a break was in order. A devilish snicker escaped her lips. Without a word, she grabbed his hand and tugged him into the bedroom as he pulled the door shut.

She never smiled in her day to day life except for thrills like these. They met, by coincidence, in his corner-shop bakery late one night. She ordered a children’s cake, but he did not care. He enjoyed her fiery attitude, and she loved his passion.

One evening while they interrupted another painting session, the two performed another ‘once-around-the-apartment’, which was not too difficult considered its tiny size. He always had a cake from his bakery for the small talk afterwards; her sweet-tooth

always satisfied after her libido. The craft and care he put into his baking work shown each and every time in his unique style and recognizable tendencies as his hands formed more than just art on a canvas.

She went home. Splashed paint from the dirty acts before exposed itself in odd places. Her husband called her out on it.

Everything snapped into place and the husband connected the dots mid-sentence. The man’s confusion shifted to complete and utter hatred. She attempted to defend herself with a strong front of screams and shouts as both brought up events from the past with hyperbole and bottled up frustrations. They moved through the house as separate entities but always chased one another to exclaim more anger. She never stated any personal information about her lover to protect him, despite the man’s persistence and threats. She slammed the door behind her as she left.

Three knocks on the apartment door. He immediately knew something was wrong as the only knocks that happened between them were the headboard that rhythmically beat against the wall.

He appeared from his apartment. The woman who normally ran through his door with raw sexual energy had been broken down to a tearful girl. Her soft side exposed to him for the first time, he had no idea what do to besides hug her tightly and give a shoulder

to cry on. She collapsed in an emotional wreck onto him as he pulled the door shut. He paced back and forth as she took to the couch. Worry struck his face as sadness shaped hers.

How could she forgive herself after doing something like this for so long? She did not expect him to forgive her, but she knew that she was no longer the person her husband courted on their first date. Was this really for the worst? She considered that they may just have different priorities now and had just grown incompatible.

The man took the night to think about what had just happened. Head in hands, he played out the events in his mind over and over again. Not just of the fight itself, but of their entire marriage up to this point. Questions raced through his mind without answers. The only real conclusion that provided any sense of purpose or relief was to try and make his marriage work despite this catastrophe. The man became committed to show her that they can work through this together.

The man rehearsed what he was to say to her over and over again. Calm, cool, and relatively collected were the delivery of the lines, accompanied by some cute gifts to ease the tension a bit.

Flowers, while stereotypical, might help. The man also knew of his wife’s sweet-tooth, of course, and took to a bakery she recom-

mended in the final stop of a desperate move to try and save what once was.

Bells jingled as the man walked through his door. Fake smiles from the both of them hid the events from last night. The baker behind the counter attempted to forget the turmoil from last night as the man in front wanted to move on from it. He asked the baker for the finest, richest slice of cake he had. Flowers and cake in hand, he went back to his house before an attempt to try and track her down.

She was already there. As he came up the steps, she opened the door. She considered for a split-second that maybe they could make this work until she saw the piece of cake. Her smile turned into a look of complete and utter sadness after sight of that unique style and recognizable tendencies that went into each and every slice. His smile turned into a frown after sight of hers. They had both changed too much and grown too far apart, she concluded.

The man knew this in the back of his mind, but wanted to believe it was not the case. She looked at him once more as she closed the door slowly.

He walked with shoulders slumped and head down to the end of the walkway. He placed the flowers and piece of cake into the trash in defeat.

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RABBIT AND DRAGON theSil.ca

You have two options, Arni.

You are level-headed, yes, but there is this fervour that runs through your veins and kick starts your heart every morning. I’ve seen you hold back, strategically maintaining the balanced rhythm to your voice, but then, there are these raw glimpses of something more. I’ve seen it when you ask for the potatoes on the dinner table—the rough exchange from my hands to yours. I’ve seen it when the green light abruptly shifts to yellow and you speed up a little too much to avoid the red.

But the red is a part of you, Arni.

When we were younger—so young that our hair twisted into perfect pig tails and our realities existed within the confines of a sandbox—we would share stories with each other. These stories were fantastical. They were roaring with imagination and life and daring prose. I would tell you about the “Adventure of Rabbit and her Friend” and you would tell me about the rainbow dragon that would escape its cage every night to fly in the cloud-speckled sky.

And we would laugh at these stories and cry at these stories and ponder the futures of our beloved friends, Rabbit and Dragon. When the sun would go down, we’d run inside and greet your mother who awaited us with chocolate cake. And when she’d ask if you wanted an extra slice, you would reply, “More. I want more.”

BUT THE RED IS PART OF YOU, ARNI

Young Arni was never one to mince her words.

But as you grew up, you began to hold back and grit your teeth into white, fine powder. Your soft hums would melt in the white noise, but I could still hear the salt in your music and the ridges in your harmonies. I soon realized that your level-headedness was much less leveled and much more varied: there were peaks and mountains and valleys and fjords. But it’s beautiful. In this landscape, life grows: fields, flowers, and trees; your voice is loud and your words are cosmic, overshadowing the sun and the moon and the stars that all share the same sky.

ANDY

Thursday, March 13, 2014 But in this life they would tell you, “your voice is too loud, Arni.”

“Another piece of cake? That’s a bit much.”

“Can you wait here for a second?

Oh, and can you hold my coat?”

Arni is a storyteller, not a coat hanger.

Arni is friends with dragons.

Arni is Red. Remember that time you and I went to that party behind the carpet factory? It was the weekend before you went away to university in Vancouver, so we decided to celebrate your last days with a bit of adventure.

We caught the last train out of the city and then flagged down a strange car and hopped into the backseat. You were nervous at first, but I reassured you that “hitchhikers are the last people to die in movies, anyway.”

The man who drove us was actually heading to a party and extended a rather warm invitation. “It’s going to be wild,” he insisted. Before I could reject his offer, you screamed, “YES.” I turned to scold you, but then quieted down when I saw that look in your eyes, and recognized that you, Arni, are fire.

“Remember, hitchhikers never die,” you said to me before we entered a dimly lit row house.

That night, we ended up dancing and laughing and becoming temporary friends with a lot of people we would never see again. There was a woman who sang opera for a living. There was a guy who saw spirits when he ate too much ice cream. And then there was the man who drove us there, who really liked the way you danced and wanted to get to know you more upstairs and was a “good guy, I promise.”

You disappeared with him and I waited for you on the dance floor. You reappeared soon after and grabbed my hand and ushered me to the kitchen. You confessed that you were scared of leaving home, but even more scared to stay.

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ARNI IS A STORYTELLER, NOT A COAT HANGER We fell asleep on the kitchen floor, and then caught the first train back into the city.

You called your mother and she picked us up from the train station.

The car ride was long and silent—apparently, your mother wasn’t expecting you to smell like smoke and beer and strange men. “Arni, you need to quiet down and be smart,” your mother whispered to you when we were at a red light. She thought that I wouldn’t hear, but I was accustomed to deciphering whispers—the language that we soon learned to adopt as our own.

The next Monday you went to Vancouver. I didn’t see you for a year.

But you came back in the summer, and the summer after that. At one point though, and I’m not too sure when, you stopped visiting all together.

Sometimes, when I think about you, I feel a kind of sadness. At times, I forget the way you look and start drawing conclusions about whether you’re a redhead now or a daring blonde. I pretend that you’re still sitting in the back of cars with me and spend my day crafting the stories of adventures we’ll never have together.

Arni, you have two options.

I don’t necessarily know what these options are, or if they even exist— perhaps they are a culmination of my twisted imagination, the same imagination that paints you in all of my pictures and saves a seat for you at the dinner table. But, regardless, you have a choice. You have a choice to be who you want to be. You have a choice to scream or whisper or say nothing at all. You have a choice to be red—not pink, or purple or grey or blue. Red. I just hope that wherever you are, and whatever you decide, you never stop asking for another slice of cake.

ARNI, YOU HAVE TWO 2 OPTIONS

SECOND PLACE yara farran

PIECE OF theSil.ca

“Jack, are you ready?”

“I think so,” replied the thirty-something year old, eyes focused on the road ahead.

“Be cool. You’ve got this. Everything’s gonna go as planned.”

“Mhmm.”

“Jack? Are you listening? Are you nervous, buddy?”

“No, no, I’m fine.”

“You’re not doubting yourself, right? You remember why you’re doing this?”

“Yes, of course, I’ll get it done, don’t worry.”

The truth was, Jack had forgotten why he did any of what he did anymore, but he trusted that his orders came from a good place.

He heard the crunch of gravel beneath his car tires and slowed to a halt. He grabbed the cake from the backseat, took his key out of the ignition, and stepped out

onto the unfinished driveway. “I’ll be back soon.” He shut the car door behind him.

With every step he took towards the door, he grew nervous, agitated; his neck twitched, and his forehead sweat, but his hands, his hands were very steady, gripping the cake firmly.

Knock. Knock.

The door flung open haphazardly. Before him stood a woman roughly his age, with defined crow’s feet, stains covering her top, and a dishcloth slung over her shoulder. She smelled of feces and cheap perfume but had the audacity to smile at him. He welcomed himself in, ignoring the gibberish she spoke at him.

Jack spotted a slender woman seated at the dining table, glaring at him while licking her

ANDY

Thursday, March 13, 2014

AKE

teeth in his direction. She was a canopy of black clothing, with a thick matching coat of eye shadow covering her lids.

Her arms were crossed; signalling that was unapproachable, perhaps dangerous.

He had been warned against paying too much attention to anyone, as it might throw him off. He was to simply walk in and serve the cake. He focused his attention elsewhere, as he sluggishly dragged himself over to the dining table. The home was hardly one at all; vile, filthy, a mountain of unwashed dishes, with mismatched decorations hanging from the walls. Jack reached the dining table, with little notice toward the woman charging at him from the hallway to his left. She was screaming loudly, high-pitched and uncontrolled. He looked forward again but saw from his side eye that she had stopped, and was now engaged in a conversation with the woman who opened the door. They both looked concernedly at Jack.

All the plates were laid out with forks to the right of each.

He placed the cake down and uncovered it. All three women sat down, joined by a younger man than Jack. He was small, incredibly small for a man, and sat in a thinner, higher chair than the rest. The small man sat at the head of the table. Jack assumed he was important, and looked ahead again at the cake, refusing to initiate eye contact.

The woman with the crow’s

feet penetrated the icing of the cake with a large steel knife and served the small man first, whose eyes Jack felt piercing into his side. Jack sat across from the woman in black who took small bites of the slice she was served, and next to the shorter woman who stuffed large chunks into her mouth.

He turned his attention away from her when he heard a slab of cake land on the plate before him. He picked up his fork and began to play with the icing, piercing in and out of it.

He watched the women and the small man devour their cake.

And he waited.

“Alright Walken what do we have here?” Stanford asked.

“Well, homicide, from the looks of it. Four victims,” his partner responded.

Both officers walked toward three of the victims, each slouched over a dining table.

There was a flurry of activity from the forensics team around them, gathering evidence and sweeping the crime scene for any clues. Their assistant director was busy interviewing the neighbour who found them.

“Isn’t there someone missing from this picture?”

“Hell yeah, our main suspect, this, er, what’s his name again…?” Walken flipped through the file he held. “Ahh, Jack Diemer, thirty-eight, father of three, married to none other than Laura Diemer,” he said, pointing to the woman whose

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3

THIRD PLACE yagana samim

face was side planted in some cake.

“No, no, I mean, you said four victims, I see three,” “Oh yeah, uh there was a small infant boy too, they already covered his body. It was gruesome, let me tell ya that much.”

“Jesus Christ, what kind of sick fuck kills his family like this? His children? His wife?”

Stanford replied, in awe.

“I couldn’t tell ya.”

The assistant director walked toward the two officers and wiped his brow.

“This sure is something, boys.”

“What did you get from the neighbour?” asked Walken.

“Well, she said her and Mrs. Diemer were close, and that she’d been worried about her husband these past few months.

Said he’d been hearing voices.”

“Voices, huh?” Stanford repeated.

“Yeah, voices.”

The three men stared at the gruesome scene before them.

In all their years of facing blood and gore, the aftermath of rage and fear, and the multiple downfalls of seemingly normal individuals, there was something far more chilling about this scene than any of their previous cases.

“Well,” Stanford spoke, breaking the silence, “I suppose when you’re that far gone, something like this has got to be a piece of cake.”

“An artist’s only concern is to shoot for some kind of perfection, and on his own terms, not anyone else’s.”

J.D. SALINGER