The Silhouette

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THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

EST. 1930

FROM CAMPUS TO YOU AND BACK AGAIN

VOLUME 81, NO. 16

CAMPUS FOOD GOES

Food service workers accept deal, end strike FARZEEN FODA ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR “What kind of jobs will there be in Canada if unions don’t stand up?” asked Ted Mansell, Executive VicePresident of SEIU Local 2, in light of the union’s new deal with McMaster University. The agreement put an end to the strike that began on Jan. 7.

The Hospitality workers’ strike came to an end on Jan. 16, after a meeting on the fifteenth at which officials of SEIU Local 2 (Hospitality) encouraged its members to accept the tentative agreement which had been on the table since the day before that.

The union represents over 170 hospitality workers at McMaster, of which 115 were present at the time of the vote. An overwhleming 90 per cent of voters choose to accept the tentative agreement.

“We are very pleased that we were able to win this battle on behalf of the middle class and on the behalf of workers in Hamilton,” said Mansell.

As the strike continued and the picketing began, the University made sure to keep business running as smoothly as possible around campus. “With any contract, we’re always looking at stability of costs and sustainability of the operations and our ability to continue to provide the type of services that students want and that the campus community needs,” said Andrea Farquhar, Public Relations Director for McMaster University.

Security was of utmost importance and numerous accommodations were made for students with meal plans during the strike. Available food venues were running at full capacity to serve students, and traffic moving in and out of campus was regulated. A picket line protocol was established early during the strike to ensure that security vehicles and essential services were able to enter and exit the McMaster campus without delay.

Hospitality service workers at McMaster are now back to work, and business has resumed as normal. In the wake of the strike lie feelings of disappointment and anger on the part of McMaster Hospitality employees. “Our hospitality workers love the students but have very little respect for McMaster as an employer after this fiasco,” said Mansell adding that, “In Canada we pride ourselves on being more humane and more progressive and I think that is why this is such a shock … in an institution of higher education what would you expect: more progressive thinking and a more progressive approach.”

Mansell further stressed that the betrayal workers felt from the University and the outcome of the strike has left McMaster’s Hospitality workers much more committed to the union. “They are more unified and loyal to the union than they ever have been in the 30 years of being unionized workers. It’s unfortunate that it took a strike to

With food service workers back on the job, efforts to promote eco-friendly practices at Mac’s eateries have been restored, but there’s work still to be done.

A student-driven push for green alternatives may be needed to reshape the Hospitality Services business model.

• PLEASE SEE UNION, A3

SAM COLBERT

SENIOR NEWS EDITOR

“Food on campus is one of my favourite topics of conversation,” smiled Mary Koziol, president of the McMaster Students Union (MSU).

The early months of her presidency were defined in part by her work to bring a farm stand to campus last summer. Efforts to integrate the stand into the food system already in place at the University had been tried previously and met with some frustration, but Koziol was able to make use of her elevated position to get it done.

“I think there definitely were some barriers,” she said in an interview with the Silhouette. “But I found in general that, since I started working on the project, [Hospitality representatives] were very receptive. I think they really liked the idea of having it institutionalized within the MSU.”

Koziol was motivated by her desire to give students fresh, locally grown, organic foods and, in doing so, promote a healthier and more environmentally friendly student body. She made the case that students and food service workers alike would get behind the initiative.

For the most part, they did, but her reasons for the stand were not immediately clear to all students. “Some of the barriers that I’ve found with the farm stand have actually more so come from students; students not understanding the concept and saying... ‘Why is it any more expensive than the grocery store?’

“Students aren’t necessarily willing to pay more,” she added.

“There’s a margin who are, and then there’s a margin who might be if they understood it a little bit more.”

One of Koziol’s key supporters through the process was

Leigh Laidlaw, Chef Manager at Bridges Café, and Sustainability Ambassador for Hospitality Services. He too was aware of the compromises that come with environmental measures. He has taken charge of bringing biodegradable containers, corn-based cutlery, composting, energy efficient kitchen appliances and local food to campus, but has had to recognize the financial costs.

“Unfortunately, a lot of these initiatives, they’re a little bit more expensive,” he explained.

“Nine times out of 10, you’re going to find that when something has come to you in a recycled format or when there’s a low carbon footprint, or it’s organic, or it’s local, there’s usually a price tag attached to it.”

Other practices at McMaster include offering discounts on beverages when the customer has a reusable mug, and encouraging students to transfer food from plates to Tupperware rather than using take-out containers and use of more recyclable material. Additionally, Laidlaw is considering campus-wide composting and reduction of supply trucks on campus.

“I’m always open to suggestions,” he offered.

Despite the willingness of people like Laidlaw, Hospitality Services tries to stay realistic. McMaster was hesitant when Koziol, along with Kate Whalen of the Office of Sustainability, approached the school with Local Food Plus, which provides a free service to help organizations integrate locally grown food into their menus, but requires that the organizations commit to certain targets. The University of Toronto has taken advantage of the service, so Koziol was optimistic about bringing it to McMaster.

“There wasn’t really any bite,” she said. “[Hospitality] didn’t • PLEASE SEE STUDENTS, A3

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This is a paid advertisement from the MSU.

the

PRESIDENT’S PAGE Nick Shorten VP (Finance)

Mary Koziol President

Joe Finkle VP (Education)

John McIntyre VP (Administration)

YOU FOR HIRE The MSU opens up jobs for the 2011-2012 academic year John McIntyre VP (Administration) vpadmin@msu.mcmaster.ca ext. 23250

It will be emphasized in the State of the Union, taking place on January 21st in the MUSC Atrium between 12pm and 2pm that the MSU provides McMaster students with a wide array of services and representation on student issues.

An important component of this fact is that the MSU offers students and new graduates the chance to develop personally and professionally, through employment and volunteer opportunities.

As a first step in offering these positions, the MSU has already posted many of our part-time manager positions, available to fulltime undergraduate students (18 units or more), looking for experience in managing one of our many part-time services (i.e. SWHAT, SHEC, MacGREEN). These positions are currently posted on the MSU website at msu.mcmaster. ca and have various deadlines over the next month.

The next round of hiring includes Student Opportunity Positions, which are one-year, full-time employment positions within our businesses and services, aimed at graduating students looking to gain valuable work experience.

These positions include the Silhouette Executive Editor, the Union Market Manager,

the AVtek Office Manager, the Underground Media & Design Service Manager and the Clubs Administrator. These positions are a great idea for graduating students. They offer competitive salary and benefits, while allowing you to develop skills in a student-centric environment.

Postings for these jobs will be up very soon on the MSU website, with interviews to be conducted in February.

Finally, beginning in February, the hourly staff positions (including Union Market customer service representatives) and volunteer positions (including the Executive members of our part-time services and general volunteers) will be posted on the MSU website. These are a great way to gain experience, as well as to help you round out your education with nonacademic initiatives.

As someone who has taken advantage of these opportunities during my time at McMaster, I urge you to check out these jobs and volunteer postings.

Not only do they provide great experience, but they also connect you with people who share similar interests and offer a chance to learn more about what the MSU offers!

Keep checking the MSU website for new postings, as they become available over the next eight weeks. If you have any questions about our services or employment/volunteer opportunities, please do not hesitate to contact me.

MSU Features: MacTV PHOTO C/O TOMASZ WIERCIOCH

In the age of shows like Jersey Shore and I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant, it is high time for the return of quality programming and it seems that McMaster’s first-ever television network, MacTV, is rising to the challenge.

A student-run initiative, MacTV gained momentum this year thanks to a passionate team and support from

numerous McMaster departments.

After a successful launch week on January 10th, 2011, the MacTV cast and crew are hard at work to provide innovative programming that showcases McMaster, Hamilton, and the student life experience.

“All our shows are fun and interesting to watch, especially considering you

may know the people who are in it (or behind the camera!),” explains MacTV president, Alvand Mohtashami.

Programming falls under five categories: Arts and Entertainment, Hamilton and the Community, Student Life, Student Politics and Varsity Sports, each of which features multiple shows.

In an effort to cater to the YouTubegeneration on campus, Mohtashami explains that the “videos are short, engaging, and directly reflective of the student experience that we’re all a part of.” Content is primarily available through MacTV’s official website (http:// mcmastertv.com), however, Mohtashami and his team are working with the University to have their programming broadcast around campus.

Mohtashami explains that MacTV not only provides entertaining content but is also a creative outlet for students looking to get involved in television broadcasting. He comments, “there are lots of students talented in multimedia production with no avenue to create

The President’s Page is sponsored by the McMaster Students Union.

It is a space used to communicate with the student body about the projects, goals and agenda of the MSU Board of Directors.

www.msu.mcmaster.ca

and showcase their work. MacTV is a medium to display what Mac students are capable of.”

The growing and diverse MacTV team is evidence of Mohtashami’s enthusiasm, including students from a wide range of faculties. From Engineering to English, and from Commerce to Mutimedia, MacTV has brought together highly talented and motivated individuals who are passionate about television production.

In the future, Mohtashami hopes that this network will eventually become an established “third pillar of campus media” along with the Silhouette newspaper and the CFMU 93.3FM. The online videos generated by MacTV aim to connect audiences to McMaster student life. Whether it is prospective students, current students, alumni, or the wider Hamilton community, MacTV hopes to cast a light onto the realities of student life, as showcased by students themselves.

Ishani Nath

THE SILHOUETTE • A3

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

Campus Food

Hospitality Strike

Students urged to be mindful of nutrition

Union celebrates victory

• CONT’D FROM A1 really seem that interested in the concept at this particular point. I think cost is a huge factor for a lot of people in considering more fresh, local, healthy ingredients.”

She noted that the reason might have been ideology. “From my conversations with Hospitality Services, it’s a business, and there’s very much a business mindset. You need someone who thinks almost in a different way to care about issues like that, because there’s not necessarily much financial gain.”

Now that the financial situation of TwelvEighty, the student-owned bar, has improved to a degree, Koziol is looking into signing the MSU and its food outlets up with Local Food Plus. Union Market is also operated by the MSU, and would be included. She feels that establishments owned by the University-proper, and not the student union, such as Centro, La Piazza, East Meets West Bistro and Bridges among others, might follow suit.

The efforts that the school has made to accommodate student health and environmental concerns, though, have been recognized. McMaster was named Canada’s most vegan-friendly campus last year by U.S.-based and youth-led animal rights group PETA2.

It was largely the Bridges Café that was credited for the honour. The vegetarian restaurant tends to be the hub for alternative eating and sustainability projects, which have enjoyed more success there than at other campus eateries.

“There still needs to be more healthy options,” Koziol said of the campus dining experience.

“I think that’s one of my constant biggest concerns. And part of that’s choice, that’s the issue around supply and demand. If students show a demand for healthy food, as opposed to burgers and fries, then you’ll see that kind of pressure shape it organically.”

Koziol stressed the importance of a conscious improvement in eating habits amongst students.

“I would love to see students learn more about the concept of sustainable eating and why it’s important.

It touches on almost all the different aspects of the environment, so it’s not just that it’s good in terms of saving fossil fuels. It’s also good in terms of saving water.

It’s also good in reducing waste.

There’s so much that you can do when you decide to address the way you eat.”

Laidlaw, like Koziol, expressed the idea that significant change could not take place without popular student initiative. “Essentially, it’s going to come down to the consumer.”

By his February meeting with the other sustainability representatives of McMaster organizations, Laidlaw hopes to have a better idea of the direction Hospitality will take in key areas. Until then, he encourages students to be mindful in their campus eating habits.

Strike supports decent paying jobs in Hamilton

On Friday Jan. 21, the MSU will be hosting a State of the Union presentation. From 12-2 p.m. in the MUSC Atrium, MSU President, Mary Koziol will deliver the State of the Union address. The presentation will cover key topics that have had a significant impact on McMaster throughout the 2010/2011 school year. Such topics include initiatives currently underway, MSU finances and services, as well as future goals for McMaster University.

Student Senate and Board of Governors

CHRISTOPHER CHANG / SENIOR PHOTO EDITOR

Strikers display union flags at picket lines on the McMaster campus during the Hospitality strike • CONT’D FROM A1 bring this about but so be it,” said Mansell, reflecting on the effect of the strike on the relationship between McMaster and its food service workers.

At the picket lines, several workers expressed their concerns about the strike, stressing that the issue does not lie in wages, but in job security. The previous contract included a provision relating to job-security. Mansell outlined the nature of the strike, calling it a “suicidal offer”, explaining that the University sought to remove the job security provision from the agreement, allowing for hours to be filled by non-unionized, minimum wage, casual workers.

This change to the agreement would give full-time unionized workers little job security, leaving them worried that they would be gradually replaced with part-time casual workers, decreasing compensation expenses for the University. Thoroughly disappointed with the situation that fuelled the strike, Mansell said, “Whatever employer loyalty McMaster had they flushed it down the toilet. So much for progressive labour relations.”

Joan Jones, Branch Local President for the union and Pizza Pizza employee expressed her view on the strike: “We were trying to keep decent paying jobs in the City of Hamilton.” This view was held by several strikers on the picket lines and by Mansell. “We are trying to reverse a very disturbing trend not only in McMaster but across society and that is the erosion of the middle class in this country,” he said, re-

ferring specifically to the working poor.

Mansell further noted that “folks don’t appreciate that most of these people are long term employees. There’re not people working in the food service industry on a temporary basis in between jobs. Most of them are parents or grandparents with homes and families that they are trying to support with these settlements and that is why it is important that all unions do everything they can to preserve decent jobs in our community.”

Jones outlined that out of the 173 workers that went on strike, at least three quarters of the workers had more than 15 years of service with McMaster. Jones herself has worked with McMaster for 24 years, and is extremely relieved at the outcome of the strike. “The support that we had from everyone was fabulous and that was what kept us going,” said Jones.

The new agreement entitles workers to several benefits not seen in the previous contract for living wage employees. Employees will now be entitled to paid time off if called for jury duty, as well as paid bereavement leave and tuition assistance of 100 per cent for fulltime employees and 60 per cent for part-time, should employees wish to take courses with McMaster University.

Dependents of McMaster Hospitality employees will now be entitled to bursaries, 100 per cent for full-time employees and 60 per cent for part-time employees, while the University will pay 75 per cent of Health and Dental Plan premiums.

Students also see benefits of studying abroad BURNABY, B.C. (CUP) — Young Canadians are not only more willing to study abroad, but many are noticing the advantages of interacting with international students in the classroom, according to a new study.

The Jan. 6 Higher Education Strategy Associates study surveyed 3,000 students. Approximately nine per cent of students claimed they had already participated in a study abroad program, while an additional 26 per cent admitted they would like to study abroad in the future.

The study indicates a dramatic increase in students willing to study abroad, which has increased seven per cent since 2006.

Despite the cost of studying in another country for a semester, the price tag hasn’t turned students off from the once-in-a-lifetime educational experience.

Many participants saw the

MSU Hosts State of the Union

Learn how to keep your bike running smoothly with MACycle’s Maintenance Workshops starting on Jan. 25 from 5:30 to 6 p.m. in Wentworth House B115. Deadline to register is 6 p.m. on Jan. 21. The workshops will run every Tuesday at the same time, starting with basic bicycle upkeep and will build on skills learned each week, teaching Mac students about the intricate inner workings of these simple vehicles many students rely on for transportation.

With the new agreement, while paid vacation time will continue to increase with years of service, it will take more years of service for employees to gain additional paid leave.

Meanwhile the sick leave provision states that the first three days of sick leave shall be without pay. Most employees cannot afford to forego the pay they would lose taking a day off. “They really don’t have a choice. They have to go to work if they are sick. They simply cannot afford to lose the money that they so desperately need to support their families,” explained Mansell.

Mansell further maintained that the union did what it could to bargain this provision, stressing that such a mandate would be a food safety concern, but “despite out best efforts to convince the University, McMaster was insistent that they were more concerned with saving money than having sick students.”

The strike appeared effective in keeping reasonably salaried jobs in Hamilton. Though the University tried to use a common strategy in trimming costs by turning to casual employment, there was a feeling among the union that they supported the plight of the working poor in Hamilton.

“Without the tremendous and overwhelming support from the community and McMaster including the other unions and the faculty, student groups and other community supporters outside McMaster and across Hamilton, we don’t think we would have had this strike settled so quickly,” said Mansell.

experience as gaining an “ability to work in diverse cultural settings,” which would later prove important when applying for jobs. Seventytwo per cent of students rated “knowledge of international affairs” as a valuable skill learned abroad.

Ada Nadison, a criminology major at Simon Fraser University, recently returned from a semester-long field school in Greece. For Nadison, the opportunity allowed her to gain the experience necessary to further her career.

“I just wanted to say I experienced something great at university. For my career as a police officer, I needed life experience. It [allowed me] to feed my need and my career’s need.”

The study also indicated rates for studying abroad are particularly high in the arts, such as education at 13 per cent, and 11 per cent in humanities and social sciences. However, 40 per cent of students in science and math departments stated they never considered or have rejected the idea of studying

abroad mainly due to the cost and the idea that it would disrupt their path to graduation.

Nadison echoed students’ concerns about the cost. She planned for two years in advance before travelling to Greece and had to apply for both a student loan and bursary to cover the costs of the trip.

Not only are Canadian students seeking academic opportunities in other English-speaking countries such as the United Kingdom and Australia, they are also realizing the benefits of the internationalization of Canadian campuses.

By a margin of roughly 2.5 to one, students agreed that international students enhance the in-class experience. Seven to one believe that foreign students are welcomed and well integrated in campus life.

Lucas Socio, a fourth-year communication major and international student from Brazil, explained that the current Canadian class system doesn’t allow for a lot

The nomination period for undergraduate and graduate positions on the Board of Governors and Senate opened on Jan. 14 and will remain open until Feb. 4 at 4:30 p.m. There is one position open on the Board of Governors for an undergraduate student. Four positions are open on the senate for undergraduate students in Business, Health Sciences, Humanities, and Social Sciences faculties.

Four graduate positions are also available in Engineering, Health Sciences, Science, and Social Sciences faculties.

The elections will take place in March 2011. All positions will be on a two year term, commencing July 1, 2011, and ending June 30, 2013.

Light Rail Transit Open House On Jan. 28, the MSU and the HSR will join in the MUSC Atrium to take a look into the future of transit in Hamilton. From 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., the HSR will be accepting student feedback and ideas pertaining to their vision to improve transit in Hamilton for residents and McMaster Students.

The HSR will be presenting their preliminary ideas and designs for the implementation of Light Rail Transport that is expected to be in line with the current B-Line route. Come out and see where public transit could be heading for Hamilton in the near future.

$15 increase in student fees for Science students

In conjunction with the Faculty of Science, The McMaster Science Society is proposing a $15 increase in student fees to fund curricular and co-curricualar activities for fulltime students enrolled in the Faculty of Science.

Of the $15 increase, $10 is expected to go toward an Academic Science Fund (ASF), which would support essentials for study in science such as lab space and thesis opportunities and $5 will be allocated to the McMaster Science Society of student interaction. However, he for funding of socials, sub-societies, agrees that international students possible lounge space for science students, and networking events for are welcomed at SFU.

Only 23 per cent of stu- students to meet faculty.

Voting for the additional dents consider international stu- dents to be taking opportunities fee will take place on Jan. 20 and Jan. 21 from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. in the away from Canadian students.

Overall, the study con- BSB lobby. cludes that while some students choose to study abroad, the costs force students to think twice about Cold weather alert for the experience. Furthermore, stu- Hamilton dents are only willing to travel to countries such as the U.K. and Aus- Get your mittens, boots, snowpants, tralia where the English-speaking tuque, legwarmers, and hot chocolate ready. Effective Jan. 20, a cold cultures are similar to Canada’s.

Nadison, on the other hand, enjoyed weather alert issued by the Medical the cultural shock from her three- Officer of Health will be in place for the City of Hamilton. month stay in Greece.

A cold weather alert is

“It was a big jump from what we’re used to here … [we] had issued when temperatures are exto learn to live on our own in a coun- pected to drop below -15 degrees try where you haven’t experienced Celsius or -20 degrees Celsius with the culture. I know I can depend on the wind chill. The City of Hamilton myself now,” she concluded. “It’s will do what is necessary to get the nice to see how simple life is and appropriate organizations involved how spoiled we are here. It was to help the homeless in Hamilton good getting back to your roots and during such extreme weather conditions. surviving off the minimum.”

Internationalization of Canadian campuses rising: study THE PEAK

Compiled by Farzeen Foda

Fix your own bike!

Studying Abroad

KENDRA WONG

Newsbites

A4 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

Engineers Without Borders

s r s e ’ d r r e o t B s t a u o h M t i c W M s r e e n i e g g a t s En l a n o i t a n e h t n o e n i sh

McMaster chapter and current EWB executive member, traveled to Malawi in the summer of 2008. “I worked with a water and CHRIS ERL sanitation NGO called Fresh Water Project, ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR an organization started by a number of local Malawians,” Barnes noted, also mentioning Thanks to an increasing membership and a that her experiences transcended conventionrenewed focus on ambitious new projects in al engineering responsibilities. “A lot of the support of both international and local social work that we do overseas is not necessarily justice efforts, the McMaster chapter of En- technical, which is why we encourage people gineers Without Borders (EWB) has been from different faculties to get involved and awarded the title “chapter of the year” by work with us.” their national conference.

Barnes expressed hope that general

Though the chapter is no stranger awareness about the organization will grow to accolades, having been named ‘most im- thanks to the new distinction bestowed upon proved’ at last year’s conferMcMaster’s chapter. “We’re ence, this year is the first time definitely an active chapter on the McMaster branch rose campus and we’re an active above seven other nominees I think being named club on campus, but I don’t to receive the prestigious chapter of the year know if students really undertitle. The national organizastand how that compares to will really show tion, during its conference in the rest of the organization.

Toronto on the weekend of McMaster University I think being named chapter Jan. 15, decided McMaster’s that our chapter is a of the year will really show chapter was worthy of the successful, effective McMaster University that our title thanks to its impreschapter is a successful, effectteam that is doing ive team and is doing a lot of sive repertoire of initiatives, including a number of high a lot of really cool really cool things in Hamilton school outreach programs to and in the McMaster comthings...” inform youth about water, munity.” food and energy issues

Increased awareglobally, overseas volunteering programs ness would be timely for the group, as it is and a new drive to introduce more Fair Trade attempting, for the second time in as many products to campus food establishments. years, to win a referendum that will levy a

The membership of the McMaster new 35 cent fee to assist with EWB’s overchapter has increased substantially over the seas volunteer work. past years, drawing engineering students and “I think it will be interesting, with non-engineers alike. A large number of the the referendum coming up, for people to hear chapter’s members this year are civil engin- more about what Engineers Without Borders eers, but McMaster’s EWB draws engineers does,” Barnes said optimistically, while also from a wide variety of specialties and non- mentioning, “hopefully it captures a few more engineers from nearly every faculty. people’s attention, enabling them to dive in

In terms of EWB’s overseas work, a deeper and really see what kind of opportunsmall number of volunteers travel to Africa, ities we offer.” assisting non-governmental organizations Regardless of the success or failure and local governments in projects meant to of the referendum, EWB will remain active improve the lives of residents. in the local, national and international com Erica Barnes, past president of the munities, working for social justice.

Decision 2011

MSU Presidentials begin CHRIS ERL

ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR

The 2011 election season has begun in traditional style, with a flurry of bright colours and campaign posters demarcating the launch of the race for the MSU Presidency. Officially beginning at 8 a.m. on Jan. 19, the campaign period will stretch two weeks, culminating in two days of voting on Feb. 2 and Feb. 3.

A significantly smaller field of candidates has appeared for this year’s race, with five contenders filing to replace outgoing President Mary Koziol, whose term ends on April 30. This is fewer than last year’s pool of seven and much lower than the nine candidates that stood in 2009.

Registered candidates include current SRA members Matt Dillon-Leitch and Matt Wright, from the Humanities and Engineering caucuses, respectively, as well as former SRA Social Sciences Alicia Ali, twotime presidential candidate James Lim, and

new candidate Steve Running.

In addition to selecting a new president, voters this year will have to pass judgment on five referendum questions. On the ballot this year is a second attempt by the McMaster chapter of Engineers Without Borders (EWB) to secure an ancillary fee that would assist them in their overseas volunteer operations. Accompanying EWB’s proposal are questions concerning the future of the MSU’s controversial Health and Dental Plans, approving another three years of the subsidized undergraduate universal HSR bus pass and accepting a host of constitutional amendments.

This year’s balloting will be exclusively online, a process that has been slowly implemented all year through the MSU Elections Department and facilitated by MacVote.

Physical polling stations will be set up in the Burke Science Buildings and the Student Centre to allow students to vote through MacVote at a registered location.

Check out next week’s Sil for full presidential coverage.

THE SILHOUETTE • A5

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

ALEX BOUDREAU SILHOUETTE INTERN

Opportunities for students to further strengthen their post secondary education more easily and affordably are now quite achievable thanks to the new credit transfer system. On Tuesday, the McGuinty government announced the details of the new credit transfer system that will come into effect next September.

This will assist students in transferring credits between Ontario colleges and universities, saving them time and money as well. The new credit transfer system will cast aside the need for students to repeat similar or equivalent courses at different institutions, which will allow them to complete their program sooner and ultimately graduate faster.

Under this arrangement, colleges and universities will work together to develop new ways to assist students in transferring these credits by providing on-campus advisors and orientation programs.

Also, the government announced that, in addition to this credit program, they will introduce a new Credit Transfer Innovation Fund to help with developing new transfer options for students. This will help students recognize their interests and dislikes, and determine what program will be appropriate for their specific interests.

With the amount of students recognizing the need for a

post secondary education, this program will provide students with a more simple application process. In Ontario alone, more than 4,000 college graduates wish to further their education, and transfer to university.

While Canada’s 63 per cent post-secondary education rate proves to be one of the highest in the world, the Ontario government anticipates and hopes that this number will rise an extra seven percent.

However, many could anticipate that, with a rising number of Canadian youth receiving a college, university or apprenticeship degree, the competitiveness of Canada’s already retracting job market will most likely rise. When asked if this increase is realistic for the Canadian job market, Ontario’s Minister of Training, Colleges and Universities, John Milloy explained that he believed it would be attainable.

Milloy, in an interview with the Silhouette, noted that, “Over the past several years we’ve seen 140,000 more students come to colleges and universities and there seems to be no sign of that interest letting up.”

Milloy made note of the need for a smooth and efficient transfer system, mentioning that, “College is, of course, more on the applied learning front; university is on the academic front.”

He continued to emphasize the usefulness of the program by saying, “I think this will provide more opportunities for students to get both experiences and certainly bring closer relationships between the institutions and the perspective that students bring.”

A highly accredited program in Hamilton is the Mohawk College and McMaster University collaboration, also known as MoMac, which provides students with the highest level of both college and university education.

Mohawk and McMaster have created a unique ability of working together that has benefited many students, through the creation of a Bachelor of Technology program and collaborative degree programs in nursing and Medical Radiation Sciences.

When asked if a goal of the government is to raise the number of programs that offer this collaborative style of learning, Milloy noted that the inevitable goal was indeed that. “We look to the good work between Mohawk and McMaster. For example, we want to see them build on that work, expand the number of programs, and also if appropriate expand the number of partners in the program.”

While the Minister hopes the plan will be constructive and quite positive, the effectiveness of the credit transfer program will be tested when implemented in September 2011.

4,000

63%

140,000

Number of college graduates who want to move up to university

Percentage of Canadians who have some postsecondary education

Number of students in Ontario post-secondary institutions

A6 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

EDITORIAL The Silhouette McMaster University’s Student Newspaper

TheSil.ca

Editorial Board

Peter Goffin Executive Editor

David Koots Managing Editor Katherine Marsden Copy Editor Sam Colbert Senior News Editor Chris Erl Asst. News Editor Farzeen Foda Asst. News Editor Cassandra Jeffery Opinions Editor

editor’s extension: 22052 letters: thesil@thesil.ca

Definitely

NOT the news

to not getting pink eye. to room 202 at the montreal hyatt. to the toilet in room 202. god rest your soul. to the cleaning staff at the montreal hyatt. i’m sorry. to a 40 in each hand.

Brian Decker Sports Editor Fraser Caldwell Asst. Sports Editor

to the pink donut. to bleaching the ummentionables.

Natalie Timperio InsideOut Editor Kaitlin Peters Asst. InsideOut Editor

to heavy-sleeping roommates.

Roxanne Hathway-Baxter Senior ANDY Editor

to c-cups of soup. to complimentary bread.

Dan Hawie ANDY Music Editor

to the party.

Myles Herod ANDY Ent. Editor

to birdie num-nums.

Christopher Chang Senior Photo Editor

to army surplus.

Joy Santiago Multimedia Editor

to ricky gervais’s unique brand of snark.

Jonathon Fairclough Asst. Photo Editor

to finland.

Simon Granat Business Editor Santino Marinucci Asst. Business Editor Jason Lamb Web Editor

Silhouette Staff Kevin Elliott ANDY

Trevor Roach ANDY Victor Pek Sports Ben Orr Sports Julia Empey Sports Maggie Cogger-Orr Sports Sandro Giordano Ad Manager

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to via rail.

As major city papers clamber to publish photos of a recent police funeral, we’ve decided to give you an image less exploitative and possessed of about the same level of newsworthiness. Ladies and gentlemen, a bunny.

Sgt. Ryan Russell of the Toronto Police was killed when a stolen snow plow crashed into his cruiser. That was on Jan. 12. In the intervening time, Rusell has been laid to rest.

The story is, by the standards of the daily newspaper, Old News. And yet, there it still is, on the front page of the Globe and Mail all these days later.

To their credits, the members of the media have recognized that the death itself, as an event, is no longer news. They have shifted gears accordingly. The spotlight is now on the funeral. And so we get the Globe’s photo of Christine Russell and her infant son, weeping in glorious Technicolor across five generous columns of lead story territory.

And that rankles me. Gets me wincey.

See, I’m tender. I’m faint of heart. I’ll read the story of Sgt. Russell. I’ll feel the appropriate anger, sadness and grief. But I don’t want to know the name of his widow. I don’t want to know the name of his child. I don’t want to know how distraught his family was as they laid his body to rest. I don’t want to see their faces, tears coming down.

I don’t want to see it because I can’t stomach it. I cannot tolerate ogling the pain of others. So it’s a selfish wish to strike the Sgt. Russell story from today’s front pages. But there’s more to it than that, too.

As much as it hurts my gentle eyes to see these pictures, it is far worse, I’m sure, for Russell’s family. They do not need to see their names in thick black ink. They do not need to have their emotional reactions reported to the world. And 20 years from now, when Russell’s child looks back in sorrow, he will not want or need to know what his face and his mother’s looked like on the worst day of their lives. They and their grief are private, and are not the story. And contrary to what anyone may think, the Russells’ interests come first in this matter.

People seem to feel some kind of ownership over the police, maybe because they serve the public. And so, when one of them dies, we treat it like it has personally affected us all. But the truth is, it hasn’t. This death, no more or less important than any other in the grand scheme of the world, is none of our business.

We needed to know that Sgt. Russell was killed. His story needed to be told. But that story, or the publicly relevant part of it anyway, is over now. It’s time to let it go. It’s time to let the Russells go.

Just about everybody stands to gain from the publication of the funeral photos except for the family. We, the ghoulishly blood-lusting public, get to indulge whatever primal glowing feelings we get from suffering and grief. The newspapers get to see their readership spike as the skulking members of the general public claw for more coverage of doom and loss.

But none of it is newsworthy, none of it is valuable or necessary information. It has crossed over from bulletin to devastating puff piece, bleeding and leading for no reason other than schadenfreude.

It is exploitation in the extreme. And you’d better believe we’re exploiting the Russells. Whether it’s to express our personal feelings of grief, or to feel closer to the police, or to sell newspapers, we are most certainly using them for our own personal gain.

I hesitate to call myself a journalist only because it would give me the feeling of a child playing dress-up. I work at a campus publication. I report and write and edit on the topic of campus events. I only know a bit about newspapers. But one thing that I think I’ve gleaned from a few years of informing some kind of readership is that sometimes full disclosure is not the epitome of good journalism. Sometimes morality supersedes selling copy. Maybe I’m violating the cardinal rules of newspapering here, but I think there are some things you don’t print. A grieving widow is one of them. I don’t believe in exploitation. I don’t believe it is journalism. It certainly isn’t good, responsible journalism, anyway.

• PETER GOFFIN EXECUTIVE EDITOR

YOU THERE! GET TYPING! Write for the Silhouette e-mail thesil@thesil.ca MUSC B110

to the union station croissantwich. to otown getting back together.

to pink eye. to fecal matter in the eye being the cause of pink eye. to the clerk at the anarchist bookstore. you don’t need a mask. it’s a bookstore. to walrus snoring. to the closure of 3 amigos mexican restaurant. to the shrimp salad. to not winning the major award. to being followed home. to the shag carpeted bathtub. to the continued effort of kevin james. to the cascade, making the silhouette look really fucking good since 2011. to shitty rob. you know who you are. to the the bathroom of car 4. to having to pretend to care about obscure bands to please a girl

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For people who don’t read so good.

THE SILHOUETTE • A7

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

OPINIONS

production office extension: 27117 opinions@thesil.ca

Reasonable cultural accommodations CASSANDRA JEFFERY OPINIONS EDITOR

Canada is a country described through multiple facets: democratic, diverse, independent, politically and economically stable, and culturally accepting. As Canadians, we are encouraged to form our own opinions, practice our own religions, and be independent individuals with distinct and diverse values. The Canadian population consists of an array of ethnicities and religious affiliates, who all deserve to practice and maintain their cultural and religious traditions in a free, democratic Canada. We are an interesting country because of our diverse values; however, I cannot help but question certain circumstances that allow accommodations for a particular group of Canadians but not the same accommodations for others.

The example I am particularly discussing is the issue of Bill 94 as well as the issue of Sikh Canadians carrying around the Kirpan in government controlled establishments. An article in the Toronto Star, written by Andrew Chung covered the Bill 94 issue, reporting on Quebec Premier Jean Charest, who “explained that the legislation, Bill 94, demands a face in plain view, for reasons of identification, security and communication.” I do not agree with every aspect of the legislation created because I do believe that religious sectors should be able to practice openly, which includes wearing niqabs, however I do not agree that such exceptions should be made while engaging in government regulations such as taking a driver’s license photo, health card photo, or passport photo.

As a Canadian citizen, who does not necessarily follow

a particular religion, I would not be allowed to wear anything on or around my face while taking a government issued health card. If the exception is not made for me, someone who wears glasses daily, why should it be made for any other Canadian? Obviously there should be accommodations made for those who do not wish to engage in such circumstances. For example, Chung from the Toronto Star, interviews Harinder Takhar, senior advisor to Government Services Minister, who states: “women can go into an interview room and have an identification photo taken by a female staff member. Or, a picture can be taken in a private location by a female agent. If there is not a private interview room or a private location, a screen can be erected in order to obscure the photo subject from public view.” Canadians do have the right to their own cultural and religious beliefs; however, following government-issued identity regulations is a Canadian standard for every individual.

Closely related to the topic of equality through identification is the issue of cultural objects that are considered a threat to civilians. An article in the Globe and Mail, by Rheal Seguin, discusses the issue of Sikh men who wish to carry on their persons a Kirpan, a ceremonial dagger. According to Seguin, “four Sikhs had been invited to appear before a legislative committee debating a bill that deals with the reasonable accommodation of religious minorities. But the group never got through the metal detectors at the entrance of the National Assembly building as security agents ruled the Kirpans they carried were a potential weapon.” The issue is controversial, as the Sikh group’s legal counsel representative, Balpreet Singh, believes they •PLEASE SEE CEREMON., A9

SILHOUETTE FILE PHOTO

All Canadian citizens should be treated the same when dealing with government laws.

Sleepologists suggest against hitting snooze

Why take away the guns?

ANDREW TEREFENKO

EXECUTIVE EDITOR

to respond to stimuli about as much SILHOUETTTE STAFF as someone with four beers into a Thursday night. They recommended “Just ten more minutes…” You may that people try to get no more or less be one of countless people who than the normal hours of sleep to mutter this mantra in the morning get into the habit of it more easily. without realizing just how bad it is You wouldn’t want to disappoint for your health. dignified sleepologists would you?

A year ago In addition to not today sleepologists being able to count crammed nine Sleeping more or how many fingers students into an Dave is holding less than the unusual sleep up, that slow brain schedule to try to state will hamper biologicallyget it to crack, and ability to necessary seven to your later repair it with retain memory and nine hours will hitting the snooze severely kill your button on off-days. actually kick you in response time.

This accomplished On the bright the teeth as the day side, two major goals: it seems like drags on.” absolutely ruining this is a perfect state any chance those for watching the nine had of getting second two of the to class or work on Matrix trilogy, as I time ever again, and discovering will not be able to complain until it that catch-up sleep is overall is over or remember the intense rage harmful to your health. even happening.

Sleeping more or less than You know that thing the biologically-necessary seven to in your body you might call a nine hours will actually kick you “biological clock?” That thing that in the teeth as the day drags on, you always brag about having when slowing down your brain’s ability • PLEASE SEE SLEEP, A11

PETER GOFFIN

his coat pocket. More than a little strange.

And I’d think to myself, Stephen Harper’s assertion this “What is this wealthy suburban kid week that he would scrap the long- doing carrying a blade, when he’s gun registry should he be re-elected living in a house costs $2 million is only the latest in a long and dollars and he walks to school tiresome back-and-forth perennially past even more expensive houses? waged between Canadians.

Firearms as a controversial topic isn’t exactly a novel concept.

As I was flipping

I, myself, have always been anti-gun, regardless of the size through an old high of the weapon. Above all else, I school yearbook, I could never understand why anyone had an epiphany. I would want a gun, or why it would ruin their lives to lose it. But then, now realize why it as I was flipping through an old high is people want to school yearbook, I had an epiphany. own these totems of I now realize why it is people want to own these totems of metal death. metal death.”

Listen: I went to high school in an upscale neighbourhood. A very upscale neighbourhood, part old Protection? Schmuck, the only money Jewish, part new money danger you face is getting hit by South East Asian. It wasn’t a tough a car when you cross the street.” school. Actually it was a downright Sure enough, there was never any soft school. Three years, no fights. reason to pull a blade out. And Not a single black eye. No punches. still, we knew who had them. They And yet, I did know a few kids who just stored these things, in case of carried around blades. Knives. And emergency. It was a little pathetic one who kept brass knuckles in actually. Poor little rich boy with a

blade in his pocket and nowhere to take it.

But I figured out pretty quickly, it has nothing to do with protection. It wasn’t even about impressing people. It was about feeling big, it was about feeling tough, it was about feeling worth something.

These kids, they wore expensive clothes, there were Mercedes waiting for them in the driveway on their sixteenth birthday, they didn’t have to get part-time jobs. They had nannies.

They got dropped off at school by those nannies.

There was nothing tough about these kids. But then they started to think, “Well, if I carry a blade, even if I never use the blade, I’ll know that I have it and could use it.” And they feel tougher. And they feel bigger. It’s a security blanket. It isn’t to keep away monsters under the bed. It’s to give the illusion of safety and control.

The pro-gun people are those rich kids. People who carry guns need a security blanket. The inflated sense of importance and power and control that those few • PLEASE SEE LETHAL, A8

[This Week in Opinions] Digital Detox Take the challenge and treat yourself to a digital detox.

No cell phones, no Twitter, and no Facebook. Can you do it?

Pg. A9

Benefits of being sick

The pussy scandal

No one wants to get sick but sometimes our bodies need a break from all the late nights and school stressors.

Is neutering our animals a cruel societal norm that Canadians have been ingrained to believe is acceptable?

Pg. A11

Pg. A9

A8 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

Ricky Gervais at the Golden Globes JENNA SHAMOON SILHOUETTE STAFF

When award season comes around, everything becomes really exciting, particularly in my house. It’s become a sort of tradition in my house to follow the awards shows.

The Oscars and the Golden Globes are our personal favourites. We’re not only interested in who’s being nominated that night, but also in who hosts the show. This year’s Golden Globes were hosted by British actor and comedian Ricky Gervais.

Of course, when it comes to hosting a show such as the Golden Globes, the hosts are usually responsible for writing their own material. Knowing that Gervais was hosting, I definitely expected an amazing award show.

This show met my expectations, bringing me to tears from uproarious laughter. Although his comments were a bit harsh and biting, I didn’t take the jokes seriously, and apparently, neither did the very stars he was mocking.

Or at least, that’s what it looked like when the camera had panned towards them.

The next day, I had heard on the radio that there were massive amounts of criticism of Gervais’ hosting of the show. People were referring to his comments as “snarky”, saying that he had gone too far with his jokes. Even those

who organize the Golden Globes have slammed Gervais for his performance. I found that everyone had been criticizing Gervais for his jokes, taking his performance far too seriously and referring to his “unacceptable” comments.

Since when has it become a big deal when comedians mock celebrities and Hollywood?

Plenty of comedians make similar comments in their comedy acts when they tour. The only difference between that and what Gervais did was that it was said in front of a larger audience. I do agree that the sarcastic remarks outweighed the light-hearted jokes, but that was just the cynicism of Gervais’ act.

Some of the stars in the show also made comments about Gervais’ job on hosting the show, such as Tom Hanks, who made a comment suggesting that Gervais was no longer the kind-hearted comedian that he claims Gervais was. Seriously, learn to take a joke.

Gervais is a comedian; he’s not always going to make comments that are warm and fuzzy. He’s not going to stand up on the stage, complimenting every famous celebrity in the room. Also, not everyone is going to think his comments are funny. I’ve spoken to many people about his performance; some liked it, some didn’t. You can’t possibly please everyone who watched the show. For people to be so offended by it is outrageous; they

take everything way too seriously.

You would think that actors would have thicker skins, receiving various forms of criticisms for their films. However, some people were still offended by his comments.

One of the funniest comments that Gervais made was regarding Hugh Hefner and his engagement to 24-year-old Crystal Harris. The comment, to some, was thoroughly inappropriate and offensive. However, I thought the joke was absolutely hilarious, and so did Hefner in his comment on Twitter: “the Golden Globes was a blast. They made fun of everyone, including Crystal and me. A great night.” At least he understood the spirit of the show.

Why is Hollywood taking this all so seriously? It was just an award show! And when you allow the hosts to say whatever they want, that’s exactly what the audience is going to hear.

The Golden Globes coordinators should not be complaining about his comments because they gave him the freedom to do what he wanted. However snarky or inappropriate the comments are, they have to deal with what the host is going to say, who they are going to mock, and the responses they create. Everyone should just suck it up and recognize that the jokes are made to make people laugh and to entertain. That’s show business!

Gervais gets flack for comedic skit at the Golden Globes.

Lethal accidents don’t need to happen • CONT’D FROM A7 classmates of mine craved classmates of mine craved so much is the same as gun owners want and think they need.

Now, if it makes people feel better, why take the guns away from people? Why hassle them? I mean, sure there’s no real reason to have a gun, but if there’s no reason

to have or use a gun, what’s the problem? Just like those high school kids who never pulled their blades, gun owners won’t ever pull their guns, right? Ah, but I only said the kids at my high school never had a reason to pull their blades. And they didn’t.

They did, however, pull them for no good reason. When I

was in grade 11, a guy I knew, one of the rich kids, had a party that got crashed by another rich kid from our school and some of his rich friends from the even wealthier school in the even wealthier neighbourhood down the street.

When they were kicked out by the host’s older brother, one of them pulled their knife, their

useless, pointless, never-used knife, and stabbed him to death.

Accidents happen. And events that aren’t exactly accidental happen when they aren’t supposed to. That’s a fact of the universe.

The difference is, when you throw knives or guns and people who feel they need to assert themselves to feel powerful into the equation,

the accidents or unplanned unaccidents, get a lot more devastating.

There is no controlling human error. But there are ways to limit its impact. Disarmament is one such way. It will mean a lot of rich kids will feel weak and a lot of weak people will feel unfulfilled, but it’s worth their angst just to ensure our accidents are never lethal.

THE SILHOUETTE • A9

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

Try the digital detox today Can you give up Facebook, social networking, and cell phones?

?

Can you digital detox?

“I’ve lived before without it, so I could live without it now.”

Feedback

Nashwa Khan

“I hate technology, so yes.”

TYLER HAYWARD / SILHOUETTE STAFF

Technology has been ingrained in our society to the point where we no longer engage in conversation.

Kieran Alkerton

“Yes, video games take up too much of my time anyways.”

Justin Korolyk

“I could probably go without everything but my phone.”

Clarissa Huffman

Compiled by: Cassandra Jeffery and Tyler Hayward

ISABELLA KUN SILHOUETTE INTERN My name is Isabella, and I am an addict. Fortunately, my addiction is one of the most socially accepted addictions so I have yet to be ostracized for it from my friends and family. On the contrary, going cold turkey would be more likely to isolate me from my friends and family, who are all equally addicted to technology.

The most notorious cases of users tend to be the particular poison of social networking and cell phones. Phrases like “crackberry” are used to describe the addictive effect that technology has. Addiction to technology is so integrated in society that most are unaware that the addiction is as psychologically real as any other.

A few indicators are feelings of anxiety arising in situations where you are not in touch. Everyone has experienced the “phantom limb” sensation when accidentally leaving your cell phone at home.

You constantly go to check the screen for new text messages, realizing that your phone must be in your bedroom flashing messages that you will have to wait hours to read. This separation from your social network causes feelings of withdrawal and anxiety.

Ironically, when in the physical company of your friends you are not mentally present because you are texting other people who aren’t there. How absurd is the

image of two friends sitting across from each other in a coffee shop or bar not speaking or looking at each other because both are preoccupied with texting.

Nobody seems to think this is an unusual or funny situation, since the social norm is to leave your cell phone on the table, so critical to your attention that it cannot be left neglected in your purse.

The technology of social networking has sucked dry the point of the key word in the phrase: social. Socializing has lost its spontaneity and relationships have become superficial; when parties are only as good as the pictures taken on Facebook and nothing that happens to you is real until other people know about it, or when you suddenly have 500 friends that you never talk to, but seem to know all the details of their personal life.

It’s true that we live in the most voyeuristic and exhibitionist society; just as eager to show our personal lives as we are to see others’.

We construct virtual profiles that are a controlled way to manipulate how others see us.

We are able to carefully structure a persona that we know others are sure to “lurk.” The “About Me” section is always daunting to social networking users: how do I show myself without sounding pretentious or like I care too much what others think?

That being said it is extremely difficult to withhold from social networking and technology

all together. I have deleted my Facebook account several times and found that it is isolating and difficult to keep in touch with even close friends without it. I missed out on a lot of events simply because the only invite was on Facebook.

While I have often experienced negative sensations after hours of technology use such as haziness, a decreased ability to focus, a hyperactive nervous system and lethargy, I do not think a complete “digital detox” is a realistic or productive goal.

The problem is lack of discipline. When starting a project, before I can focus I must look for the right music to work to on my iPod and check in on Facebook, which always leads to more time wasted than was intended. Instead of sitting down and starting right away, I allow myself to procrastinate, never telling myself to stop.

Changing habits is as easy as making technology less accessible and harder to waste excessive amounts of time on.

Mentally stop yourself from “checking in” as soon as you get home, and limit the amount of time you spend online by setting times you will allow yourself to be online.

I encourage everyone to “digital detox”, promising from personal experience that the results are as beneficial as increased productivity, having more restful and regulated sleep, increased focus, increased creativity, more initiative in starting projects and an all around increased quality of life.

Ceremonial Kirpan in question • CONT’D FROM A7 should have been accommodated in such circumstances.

However, from an opposing viewpoint head of security, Pierre Duchesne, said, “he doesn’t believe the rules should be changed. In my opinion it is a knife…It isn’t because it’s worn by a Sikh and that it’s a religious symbol that at some point it won’t be used by a crackpot. Sikhs can also have mental symbols.” Once again, we’re questioning Canadian values and our country’s ability to accommodate all aspects of religious and cultural practices.

How do we distinguish what is or

what isn’t acceptable?

Duchesne does make a valid point. To the Sikh, the Kirpan is a ceremonial dagger, but what it comes down to is the fact that it is still an object that can cause harm.

Through the eyes of the Canadian government, the Kirpan is still a knife.

I am not suggesting that the Kirpan be banned all together.

I am simply advocating for equality between all Canadians; I would not be able to bring a weapon into the National Assembly. To have the Kirpan on your person while engaging inside government organizations, such as the National

Assembly, an airport, or hospital, does not seem fair.

There are a number of accommodations that can be made for those who are in affiliation with Canadian laws and their cultural or religious beliefs, however the key word here is reasonable accommodations.

As a Canadian citizen travelling or immigrating to another country, I would expect to abide by the country’s laws despite my religious or cultural inclinations.

We should remember Canada also values equality between all citizens and to compromise is a two-way street.

A10 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

The benefits of being sick

JEMMA WOLFE SILHOUETTE STAFF

At this time of year, it seems like every other person I talk to has recently been sick, is sick, or is coming down with something. Of course no one likes being sick.

There is nothing fun about throwing up, feeling feverish, and laying curled up in bed in pain for days on end. Yet perhaps there are benefits to the experience of being sick that are often overlooked.

I am not saying that we should go out and purposely try to get sick, nor am I attempting to trivialize the traumatic experience that living with serious medical conditions is. What I am asserting, however, is that every now and then having to get over the odd cold or brief flu is maybe, just maybe, for the better.

I spent this past weekend at home congested, headachy, and sore-throated, sleeping for fourteen hours a night, and popping penicillin six times a day. The whole experience got me thinking; when we are sick, our bodies force us to pay attention to them. We have to halt our busy schedules, hibernate away from the public, and focus on what is happening within our physical selves. It is inconvenient to say the least, but it is necessary.

I take my health for granted. I wake up every morning expecting to feel good, and to spend my day feeling fairly energetic and focused. Being sick is a reminder that we are not entitled to our bodies’ health and not physically invincible

just because we are young. Illness makes us aware of the fact that if we overextend ourselves, then there will be physical consequences.

Whether it be all-nighters to finish assignments, or drinking every night of Frost Week, if we abuse our bodies it will eventually come back to haunt us.

The experience of sickness is also a reminder of how well we are loved. It is when people take care of us through the good times and the bad, when they risk their own health to improve ours, that they demonstrate just how much they love us. It is nice to be reassured every now and then, that when things get rough there are people in your life who care enough to be there for you through thick and thin.

There is a stigma attached to being sick: it is an annoying, temporary time of weakness that needs to be overcome as quickly as possible to get back to the business of regular life.

I think instead it should be seen as a wakeup call to take better care of ourselves when we are in good health. It is a strong reminder that we should not constantly overextend ourselves, and that frequent relaxation is a vital component of a healthy lifestyle, not just to be reserved for when we are not well.

Sometimes it is okay to say that all you accomplished last weekend was powering through two old seasons of The Office. I would not want to be sick all the time, but once in a blue moon, it is really OK. Once in a while we’re forced to take a break from our busy schedules and recuperate.

JOY SANTIAGO / MULTIMEDIA EDITOR

Talking religion with the faithful EDWARD LOVO OPINIONS

Learning about different religions and their histories can be exciting, depending on your tastes. Such an education might change your religious affiliation or attitude, and, for sure, it teaches quite a bit about the history of humanity and the human condition, so its importance must not be neglected.

There is an element to religious education that dissuades one from learning about it and failing to give the respect that it deserves. I am talking about the very people that practice religion, particularly their attitudes when discussing religion. Even more precisely, when discussing religion with a person not of the same faith, in an attempt to convert them.

Here’s the problem: the atheist, in her willingness to

understand, is nonplussed by the reasonable practitioner’s poor reasoning.

The atheist urges the practitioner that their reasoning is faulty, but to no avail. In my experience, what usually happens is that I first give my reasons why I don’t believe in God (theist or deist), and now being diagnosed by the practitioner I am a subject to be healed. Desensitized by the poverty of the answers offered for my given reasons, I am more in anticipation of what they will say to convince me of their faith, for every time I am struck by the reasonable person’s unreasonableness.

It’s a two-step program: offer answers in response to the reasons that motivate my atheism, and then give reasons why their faith is the true or truest religion. I’d like to focus on the second step.

The love of truth, then, is

to be a motive in my conversion.

So what reasons are given in support of the religion’s truth? A philosophically-minded person may think they would appeal to the classical arguments for the existence of God (ontological, cosmological, argument from design), but this is wrong. For good reason, I think, too, since those arguments have been adequately answered, in my opinion. Even if those arguments were to be fine, our choice of religion would be underdetermined: having established the existence of God, which religion’s God have we proven to exist? In place of the classical arguments, the popular reason given by practitioners is religious experience.

The argument from religious experience, if successful, can prove both the existence of God and the truthfulness of that religion – two birds killed with one

stone – so we can avoid the problem of under-determination. Ah, but here’s the rub: to have a religious experience you must either pray to God in search of some answer or become a practitioner yourself.

Trouble is that I am yet to be given the motive to pray or to practice religion.

Now the practitioner may or may not recognize my point here, but for those that do their next move is to point out several cases in which converted people and other members of their religion have had these religious experience – finally, an empirical observation that pierces through the circle of reasons they have been providing.

Now we’re getting somewhere. We have reached the end of progress with the practitioner, however, because this is when things become absurd.

Taking note of the various religious

experiences people go through, I ask the practitioner about the religious experiences of other religions. Of course, not every religion can be the only true or truest religion, so what does the practitioner have to say at this point? Honestly, nothing but the mindless and, to all appearances, irrational insistence that religious experience proves the truth of their religion. Rational cooperation has ceased, and in its place is blind faith.

Some people are slowly converted into a faith different from their own, but what seems to motivate them is not reason but the practitioner’s rhetoric. I hope to have shown here that practitioners, when stripped of their rhetoric, face, unclothed, the shame of their misconduct of rationality. I still anticipate the day that I can be met halfway on rational grounds with the believer.

THE SILHOUETTE • A11

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

Mac’s priorities need Keep your paws off my pussy to be changed UMAIR MUNAM OPINIONS

Lessons learned from strikes BLAKE McCALL OPINIONS There is something rotten at McMaster University. For those of you who are not counting I think it is important to take note of what has been happing for the last 18 months on this campus.

September 2009: CAW local 555 representing administrators all across campus nearly go on strike as the University tries to claw back hard fought for pensions and job security.

November 2009: CUPE local 3906 goes on strike as the university refuses to address benefit shortfalls, job security, and quality of education such as classroom maximums.

March 2010: McMaster Sunshine list is released showing that despite the university’s cries of poverty they still managed to give wage increase and bonuses to the top level administrators.

May 2010: the board of governors again increase tuition to the legal maximum four per cent.

July 2010: President Peter George finally retires to the lovely Pension of $99,999 per year for the next 15 years.

October 2010: SEIU Facility Services very nearly went out on strike after the administration tries to take wage, benefit, and job security provisions from some of the most marginalized employees on campus.

Board of Governors approves $40,000 bonus for the negotiating team of SEIU.

November 2010: CUPE 3906 representing sessional faculty goes down to the deadline nearly ending in strike before the university again gives into demands to protect job security.

January 2011: SEIU Local 2 representing Hospitality workers goes on strike as the university tries to take full- and part-time positions and make them into casual minimum wage jobs.

At the same time as SEIU goes out, the Hamilton Spectator reports the university was able to spend $13,000 on airfare alone for Peter George’s wife to accompany him on a trip to Australia.

These near misses and hits when it comes to bargaining are not the problem of the unions demanding too much.

In every case it has been the university who has tried to claw back hard fought gains that they have made over the many years of collective action. The university administration continues to claim austerity all while finding money for themselves.

Anyone who has paid attention to what is going on can see that there is a repeated pattern of occurrences happening.

The university is constantly showing a blatant disregard for the well-being of their workforce and is constantly trying to undermine unions on campus every chance they can get. The administration tries to extract every possible cent out of workers and students on campus and what have we gained in return?

Decreased quality in service from every possible angle; classrooms sizes are larger than they were four years ago. Teaching assistants, sessionals and professors at large are overworked and unable to give students one-on-one support that they want and students deserve.

Administrative assistants are so backlogged and inundated with e-mails that they again cannot provide the best service they want to give, and this makes it more difficult for students who are paying top dollar in tuition to get the information that they need.

Janitors and trades—the people who literally keep this university from falling apart—are so underpaid and over-managed that they can barely keep this university looking like the institution of higher learning it deserves to be.

After last week we can all see how important hospitality workers are: they keep us fed, keep us hydrated, but are understaffed.

This, on the most basic level, is why students should care every time the university tries to undermine workers through eliminating job security provisions, instituting wage cuts, and ensuring over work.

This attack on workers on its own is morally reprehensible but we as students are the ones who suffer not only from the immediate effects but also the long term consequences.

This is the workforce that we are entering; if things keep going on this path there will only be contract, casual jobs when we join the workforce, which means searching for a new jobs every three, six, or 12 months.

It also means getting rock bottom pay, and no pensions all while being saddled with huge amounts of debt that we had to take out to pay for our education.

University degrees are a dime a dozen and will not somehow isolate us from the realities that the workers on this campus have been fighting tooth and nail for during the past 18 months.

We need to wake up to what is happening and start helping the workers fight back. We need to start fighting back ourselves.

There is something rotten on this campus. We can all smell it after last week: it is the toxic environment the administration of this university is creating for students and workers alike.

Having immigrated to Canada a few years back, I can tell you that the earliest experiences of having to adjust to a completely different society are very memorable parts of my life. The broader cultural shock, the prevalence of the rule of law, and on the lighter side, the body language and social norms are just a few amongst all the various aspects of life that I had to adjust to.

There were also a few times when my lack of command over the English language landed me into extremely embarrassing situations.

Trying to argue in a language that I could barely speak, and then getting frustrated at the other individual, I once told a classmate to “shut up the hell” (mind you in a confident brown accent), which in my understanding was going to project me as cool in front of my peers. Only to my surprise, all of a sudden I was being laughed at, without even knowing why.

Why am I the only exception to the rule that swearing makes you cool?

Nevertheless, I have come to live with the minor “oddities” I have encountered, but some of the more serious i s s u e s continue to tax my cranium and now I avail of this opportunity to lighten some of m y load.

In grade 11, I found out what the term “fixing” your pet meant. My neighbour who owned three cats at the time (no, she was not a crazy cat-lady) mentioned to me in passing that one of the cats was getting neutered that day. At first I assumed it to be a type of vaccination or something along those lines. But upon inquiring I learned how mistaken I was.

Neutering or spaying your pet (a cat or a dog) means that you take your beloved pet to a veterinarian and he/she would surgically remove either your pet’s testes or ovaries and uterus, depending on the gender of the animal.

The underlying cruelty of this procedure was evident to me from day one and I refused to accept it as normal and dissented passionately but without any arguments to support my stance.

Most people who own pets put their pet through this procedure, so they can have a sterilized pet immune to behaviour swings. Regardless, over time, my disapproval for the practice has only grown stronger and now

I can present some arguments to solidify my standpoint.

In our society, there is a great emphasis on the freedom of the individual. A major part of this freedom includes the individual’s right to decide on his/her sexual orientation.

Moreover, the frequency that one wishes to engage in sexual activity is also left to the individual.

Now, what on earth does that have to do with fixing one’s pet? Quite evidently, whereas the individual freedom of humans is given such high importance, all of a sudden, these principles are completely suspended for our “beloved” pets. By neutering or spaying the animal, we are squarely deciding not only the animal’s sexual orientation, or lack of it, but also completely taking away its right to reproduce ever again! The poor animal already has to adjust to living in a house

and being fed food of our choice.

And most often it operates around our schedules and then we take away its most fundamental right of reproduction and companionship with its own species! Just because these innocent animals can’t talk, does not give us the right to fully control their lives.

As humans, we are (potentially) the smarter species and we have an obligation to be sensitive to the fact that these animals are living beings and should have (at least some) freedoms. I am not against keeping pets; certainly they can be excellent companions to some people and be of immense help to handicapped individuals,

but that does not mean we must control every single aspect of their lives. And we do all this for what greater good? So we don’t have to worry about the aggressive and messy behaviours of these animals when they hit puberty? Or is it so we don’t have to see dogs and cats roaming our streets? I say, why stop there? What about the raccoons and the squirrels and damned those rabbits in the summer! What would be so terrible if there were a couple of feral dogs and cats in our neighbourhoods? Would our lives really be turned upside down because of this? Ewww but these animals will poo everywhere and that’s just disgusting! How unsanitary! Yeah, come smell my neighbourhood in the summer when people voluntarily put a ton of various animals’ poo on their lawn.

Of course that’s not disgusting at all, because heck, we paid for that shit.

I will now draw a hypothetical analogy to further assert my point. Let us imagine for a minute that somewhere in this vast universe, a species exists that is smarter than humans. Somehow these aliens come across our earth and they find humans oh so cute and adorable. Imagine also, that they communicate with each other in a manner that humans cannot.

Now, they decide to take control of the Earth and make us their pets.

As unfortunate as that would be for humans, imagine what kind of a life you would prefer for yourself in this hypothetical world. Would you really choose to live as the only human in an alien household and be fed five flavours of a special goo the aliens engineered that contained all the essential nutrients that the human body needs? Oh and then comes the time of your puberty and because the aliens don’t want to deal with your “mess” and moodswings, and since there’s too many humans anyway, they have you “fixed”. Now would you rather live this “protected” life or be left alone to form your own society of humans and hunt for your food and take the risks that life throws at you?

My guess is that most of us would prefer the latter option, yet we are behaving toward our “beloved” pets exactly like the evil aliens in the imaginary world.

I may have simplified some facts for convenience but that does not take away from the crux of the argument. Certainly, our world is plagued with much more serious problems but what I find most peculiar and perplexingly sad is that this is not even perceived as a problem. It has been so naturalized and normalized in our society that nobody finds it odd. According to Statistics Canada & Canadian Federation of Humane Societies, we euthanize about 80,000 cats and dogs in shelters every year! Granted, you may not agree with the solution I have indirectly suggested above, but I am not asking you to. All I am asking is for us to be a little more human and give these animals back some of the freedoms that they were born with.

Sleep is not always the answer • CONT’D FROM A7 you can tell your friends the time without looking at a clock, one out of ten tries? There is actual science behind that too.

They call it a “circadian rhythm,” a beat to which your body follows and decides what time it should do things, like start deep sleep, wake you up, engage a furious yawn or even what time of day to give you the best reaction time or highest blood pressure (and I feel obligated to inform you that it also decides when it is time for a bowel movement). I was really proud when I woke up at exactly 8 a.m. that one time. It was really cool. I am still taking credit for it, science you crafty bastard.

Knowing that there is now science to back up my parents’

accusations that sleeping in makes me a disappointment in their eyes, I cannot help but grind my teeth.

As a fervent sleep-enthusiast and all-around opponent to all things waking up, I really liked sleeping in.

Those extra ten minutes I did not mind making up in a brisk jog through 8:10 a.m. frost.

Science never fails to find faults in my life and force me to become a “healthier person” and embrace a more “biologically-conscientious” lifestyle.

That is the final straw then. Starting now, I am going on a waking up strike, vowing not to get less than 14 hours of sleep until scientists tell me they are cool with it. And so help me Sandman, they will be.

According to sleepologist, getting too much sleep can result in looking like this dweeb.

CHRISTOPHER CHANG / SENIOR PHOTO EDITOR

A12 • THE SILHOUETTE

SpeculatoR The Hamilton

Thursday, January 20, 2011 F

Corrections Not that we’re admitting we did anything wrong Because we never do anything wrong. But sometimes, in the pursuit of good honest journalism, we here in the Speculator office (the men’s room in the basement of CNH) do, occasionally make the odd mistake from time to time. Some slander too. And so, in the name of setting the record straight, our legal counsel has informed us we will be running a list of corrections.

The following mistakes were committed for your reading pleasure: -The McMaster University mascot is not being changed to Beefy the Wonder Wiener Dog. -If you cross your eyes and stare at Michaelle Jean’s face long enough, you still will not see a windmill.

-The Speculator is not offering a bounty for the head of the McMaster registrar.

-The Speculator is not offering a bounty for the phone number of that girl in my stats class with the low-necked sweater.

-The Speculator is not offering a bounty for a lock of hair from that girl in my IR class with the tight black turtleneck sweater.

-The cover of the 2011-2012 course calendar will not feature nude photos of Rita McNeil.

-The Speculator’s Copy Editor is not capable of turning water into vodka.

-The Speculator’s Copy Editor is did not shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

-There is no gold in them-thar hills of the East Mountain. There are indeed, however, cayotes.

-Solomon Ostero of Cline Ave. South is not the reincarnation of the Dalai Lama.

-Former President Peter George is not spending his retirement in Purgatory.

-We do not encourage you to discuss your Speculator-related grievances with your lawyers.

-There is no such thing as the Health Sci three-legged cadaver race.

-None of the MSU presidential candidates are hungry for human flesh.

-None of the MSU presidential candidates ever bit a dog.

-None of the MSU presidential candidates ever ever dangled an infant out the second-story window of a Holiday Inn.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

INSIDE THE SPECULATOR F10: Smells of the basment: a memoir G3: The Ass That Broke My Heart: another memoir E43: Chafing towards Armageddon: the final memoir

Ooey, gooey, rich, and chewy.

In the

PINK (and it stinks)

BUCK HOROWITZ SPECULATOR

A winter rages on, and pleasure becomes as scarce as decent toilet paper on campus, McMaster is facing an epidemic unseen since the rabies outbreak of ’08. Pink Eye is sweeping across campus, reddening eyes and dampening spirits just as quickly as you can say “Excessive pus secretion”.

“My eye looks like a fucking Prairie Fire. How do you think I feel?” said Tino Marinoocc, a fourth-year Political Science student afflicted by the ocular illness.

Although the source of the outbreak is not known for certain, there has been much speculation as to where it could have spawned. Doctors from the McMaster Centre for Medicine and Taxidermy suspect a contagious viral infection is responsible.

On the other hand, some guy outside the Student Centre told the Speculator he has a different theory.

“It’s shit in the eye, man,” said the student who, for spelling reasons, cannot be named. “You get it from having shit in your eye. Feces. Crap. Poop.

Ca-ca. Do you hear me? It ain’t Pink Eye, it’s Turd Eye. Turd, I tells ya!”

As the debate over the contagion unfolds, only one thing is for certain: Pink Eye is here to stay, at least until a more accessible cure can be found. To date, the traditional cure of medicated eye drops has proved ineffective. The University, to its credit, dedicated to finding out why.

“Our office conducted a

study,” explained Prof. H.R. “Stretch” Armstrong of the McMaster Department of Statistics, Research and Smegma Collection. “Our findings indicate that people between the ages of four and 37 do not enjoy inserting foreign substances into their eye cavities.”

In the wake of the $12 study’s publication, which cost an additional $3.25 in dimes at the library, alternatives have been researched.

Chief among them is holding patients down and prying their eyelids open in order to administer drops, although eye amputation is also a popular method amongst medical professionals.

As the pages of the calendar keep turning and an end to the Pink Eye scourge seems as far off as ever, students are turning to traditional comforts such as physical companionship to quell the stress of living with disease.

A new club has formed on campus to respond to this growing niche. The Clear Sclera Fetishists Union has existed for three days and already has literally some members.

“It’s a pretty good deal,” explained club pledge Clifford Nifton. “I paid my 14 bucks and I got a t-shirt, a pamphlet, and an eyepatch with a hole in it.”

When confronted with the rumour that eye fetishes were perhaps the cause, or at least the catalyst, of infections like Pink Eye, Nifton refused to comment, but the glimmer in his cornea suggested an optimistic coquettishness not soon to be deterred.

-If you record yourself reading Justin Bieber’s book and then play that recording backwards, you will not receive Satanic messages instructing you to make blood sacrifices. That was Barbara Streisand’s book.

-There is no History course at McMaster called “Douching During the French Revolution”.

-The Speculator is not infallible.

-The Speculator is not reliable.

-The Speculator is not objective.

-The Speculator is not trustworthy.

-The Speculator has never been printed on stone tablets retrieved from the -Red Sea. -Reading The Speculator will not make you taller, smarter, faster, stronger, thinner, or handsomer.

-Reading The Speculator will most certainly not make you parents love -you.

-Reading The Speculator may, however, get that girl in the low-neck sweater to pay attention to you. It will most likely be out of pity, though.

-Whatever we did, we did it out of spite.

Constructive treatments for Pink Eye are few and far between. Campus Health’s patented “Eye Cleaving“ technique (pictured above) was quickly abandoned due to distasteful minor side effects.

“What Did You Learn This Week, Timmy?”

“I learned that there must be an easier way to get it off than bleach.”

Disclaimer: Stories printed in The Hamilton Speculator are fact. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is likely intentional and done out of spite. Opinions expressed are those of The Speculator and if you disagree with them you are wrong. And stupid. Possibly ugly as well.

THE SILHOUETTE • B1

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

Stepping Up: with injuries abound, Jackie

Nimec is coming into her own as

McMaster’s leading scorer.

See B6.

SPORTS Men’s Volleyball

Defending their

Presented with their toughest task of the year in the form of a home date with the CIS no. 5 Western Mustangs, the Marauders put in their finest performance of the season, dismissing Western in four sets.

turf

See B3 for more.

JEFF TAM / SILHOUETTE STAFF

Women’s Volleyball

McRobert leads Mac to two wins FRASER CALDWELL

ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR

It wasn’t necessarily pretty, but the McMaster women’s volleyball team came away with two more wins this past weekend, and avenged their only loss of the conference season in the process.

On Friday night, the Marauders fell two sets behind to the visiting Windsor Lancers, before raising their form to overcome their foes in five grueling frames (20-25, 19-25, 25-13, 25-9, 15-5).

The maroon and grey followed that victory with another one of arguably more importance the next night, as they leveled the season series with the Western Mustangs with another five set victory on home soil (18-25, 27-25, 25-23, 22-25, 15-11).

The consecutive victories extend the Marauders’ winning streak to 10 games, and improve their overall conference record to 11-1, keeping them two points clear of the second-placed Guelph Gryphons, with a game in hand. McMaster has yet to lose this season in the welcoming confines of the Burridge Gym.

Despite the ultimately positive outcome of the weekend, the Marauders’ two-game home series could hardly have started on a worse note.

Windsor, the squad currently occupying the foot of the OUA West standings with only a solitary win to its name up to this point, came out the more organized

1:22:81 TAT TAKES CAN/AM GOLD

In the team’s first meet of 2011, McMaster’s Jimmy Tat won the 600m event at last week’s CAN/AM invitational in Windsor, finishing in a blistering time of 1:22:81.

Tat and the Marauders will resume action next weekend at the McGill Challenge.

JEFF TAM / SILHOUETTE STAFF

Shannon McRobert (8) led McMaster in a two-win weekend. of the two sides to begin Friday’s match.

That reality reaped immediate benefits for the visitors, as they took advantage of a stuttering McMaster team to grab a commanding two-set lead. However,

with their backs against the wall, the Marauders would finally kick into gear in the third.

Buoyed by a potent offensive outburst from veteran left • PLEASE SEE ATTACKING, B3 JOY SANTIAGO / MULTIMEDIA EDITOR

[This Week in Sports] All-Star letdown Fraser Caldwell looks at what’s wrong with the NHL All-Star game and why there’s so much missing in hockey’s lame spectacle.

Pg. B2

Wild West battle awaits

All “Groen” up

On the heels of a four-game winning streak, the men’s basketball team will host the 9-3 Lakehead Thunderwolves this weekend.

Pg. B5

Two star recruits, including a third Groenveld brother, commit to the men’s volleyball team for the 201112 season.

Pg. B5

B2 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

THE SKINNY

What You Need To Know This Week In Sports Sports Editorial

Male Performance of the Week

NHL All-Snore Game FRASER CALDWELL

ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR

For whatever reason, the time-honoured sports tradition of the All-Star game has captivated me. Even now, as I write this piece and the concept floats to the surface of my muddled excuse for an imagination (thanks alcohol, I needed those brain cells), I can’t help but get a little excited. I suspect that this may be because I’ve never properly grown up.

As a stereotypical white kid growing up in the ’burbs, I did exactly what any other pale-faced youngster was doing: I played street hockey. A lot of it in fact.

Except I didn’t play with other kids. To be entirely honest, I disliked most of them, and I always felt that the presence of other people was somehow sullying my experience.

Instead, I would drag out the familiar bright red double posts and the orange plastic ball, and I would play by myself. No, I wasn’t doing things the way more rurally inclined Canadians do, hammering a puck into a barn door for the millionth time so I could grow up to be the next Al McInnis. I was playing an imaginary game, and I was providing play-by-play.

Ask my poor neighbour even now, and she can tell you about the days I would spend outside, living out my own multiple interpretations of the NHL playoffs. The great Colorado Avalanche squads of the Sakic and Forsberg days, or the seemingly invincible Detroit Red Wings teams of Steve Yzerman and Niklas Lidstrom were the groups of titans that I envisioned to be inhabiting my driveway on a daily basis.

Funny that, as much of a die hard Maple Leafs fan as I was and still am, I had too much sense to play out a scenario in which Toronto won the Stanley Cup. Imagination only takes you so far, after all.

But above and beyond the quest for the giant silver mug, the one scenario that I loved to play out on the broken pavement of my car park was the All-Star game. It seemed so logical to me then that the one-off event would be the pinnacle of the hockey season.

Surely, all of the best puck jockeys that the NHL had to offer would be there. I could see Mario Lemieux bob and weave his way through defenders as if they were simply sloth-like pedestrians. Scott Stevens would deliver a truly sadistic hit to the first unsuspecting centreman that happened to cross mid ice with his head down.

Martin Brodeur would flash the leather routinely, without so much as a bead of sweat rolling from his brow.

Except none of that happened in real life.

Indeed, as I was quickly to learn – much to my horror – no one seemed to care about the All-Star game.

Hockey’s greatest snipers became uncharacteristically careless and sluggish. The first time I saw Paul Kariya coasting, I knew that something was terribly amiss.

As for that notorious psychopath Stevens, he was reduced to delivering half-hearted shoves along the boards, as if reminding the opposition that he did in fact exist. And my favourite stars of them all, the goaltenders, were even more disappointing.

Men who made a living staring down the most ill-intentioned, glass-shattering slapshots could hardly be bothered to brush away a pithy wrister. Mike Richter watched a limp effort from Brett Hull flutter over his shoulder with the sort of disinterested disdain that most people reserve for door-knocking Jehovah’s Witnesses.

I remember how shattered I was at this realization. That the All-Star game should be anything short of Space Jam on ice had never occurred to me. But the reality was that the event was a joke.

And despite what the NHL may tell you, it remains that way today. In fact, this year’s decision to remodel the selection process for the National Hockey League’s annual back-slapping convention only serves as a recognition of this reality on the organization’s part.

After all, what’s the harm in making the All-Star event appear, for all intents and purposes, to be a game of shinny when that’s exactly what it is?

I’d like to think that a few changes could make the All-Star game meaningful – something at least somewhat akin to what I imagined as a boy. And there is certainly the argument that an MLB-style event with playoff implications could induce players to take the occasion more seriously.

But to be entirely honest, it is the culture of today’s professional sports scene that has ensured and will continue to ensure that All-Star contests are farcical affairs. In an age when the world’s premier athletes are paid enough to rival the annual revenue of Third World countries, safety and financial pragmatism will always trump the desire to entertain.

Just imagine, for a second, that a player of the calibre of a Sidney Crosby, Alex Ovechkin, or Sedin brother went down with a serious injury in this year’s All-Star event. There is not an EMS crew in the world that could save that player’s career-minded agent from the force of the ensuing aneurysm.

And so it is that I will not be watching this year’s version of the NHL All-Star Game. If I were interested in basking in the narcissism of a group of self-congratulatory prima donnas, I’m sure I could find a re-run of Jersey Shore somewhere.

Instead, I’ll pull out that little red net and the orange plastic ball. The 1997 Western Conference Finals are beckoning, and Yzerman has won far too many games for my liking.

Michael Sjonnesen - Men’s Volleyball Third-year middle Michael Sjonnesen has recently made his presence known. After a strong 15 point performance against Waterloo last week, Sjonnesen put in an even better effort this time around. He mustered 20 points on 16 of 20 hitting Friday against the Windsor Lancers, good for an incredible .750 hitting percentage.

CHRISTOPHER CHANG / SENIOR PHOTO EDITOR

Female Performance of the Week

Shannon McRobert - Women’s Volleyball After a 14-point performance in the Marauders’ five set victory over Windsor on Friday, McRobert took the reins the following night. The thirdyear middle played her most impressive match of the year Saturday against Western. She led the way for the victorious Marauders with 22 points on 16 of 33 hitting.

Photo of the Week JEFF TAM / SILHOUETTE STAFF

Top 5

Top 5 Snore-Inducing Television Sports 5. Baseball 4. Poker 3. Darts 2. Pool PHOTO C/O RICHARD ZAZULAK

Taylor Black throws down a nasty dunk in an 87-65 win over the Brock Badgers on Saturday.

Black scored 14 points, but suffered a separated shoulder later in the game. Black will be out at least a month, but is optimistic of returning this season.

Come Write For Us! - Sports meeting every Thursday at 11:30 A.M. Follow us on Twitter - @Decker_Brian @fraser_caldwell @theSilhouette

1. Golf

THE SILHOUETTE • B3

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

Women’s Volleyball

Men’s Volleyball

Attacking balance helps Mac continue winning • CONT’D FROM B1 side Larissa Puhach, and continued production down the centre from the middle duo of Sarah Kiernan and Shannon McRobert, the hosts stormed back into the match by securing the third frame 25-13.

From here, the Marauders would engage the cruise control, dominating the fourth set to the tune of 25-9, before putting the match out of reach in the fifth by a 10 point margin.

The aforementioned Puhach led the hosts with 16 total points on the night, while Kiernan and McRobert each added 14 of their own. McRobert’s performance was particularly impressive, as she converted 11 of 16 hitting attempts while committing only two errors.

While Friday’s comeback victory was no doubt an admirable accomplishment, Saturday offered the Marauders an even greater opportunity: the possibility of exacting revenge on the Western Mustangs.

Western had dealt McMaster their only defeat in the first weekend of the season, and the Mustangs’ inevitable journey to the Burridge Gym was certainly underlined on the Marauders’ collective calendar.

Much as they had the night before, the host Marauders struggled in the opening set of Saturday’s pivotal matchup, ceding the frame and the early advantage by a score of 25-18. Once again however, McMaster would respond well to early disappointment.

The Marauders raised their game markedly to begin the second set, and they would ride that form effectively to take the next two games and push the Mustangs to the brink of defeat.

Western threw another wrinkle in the plot in the fourth, eking out a 25-22 victory to force a fifth and deciding frame.

However, McMaster was not to be deterred, and would clinch the final game 15-11 to seal a vital

win and a measure of retribution.

Shannon McRobert stood as the undisputed player of the game for the Marauders, exploding for a season-high 22 points on the night to lead her team in a winning effort.

While pleased with the outcome of his team’s weekend series, Coach Tim Louks expressed his concern with the slow starts that plagued the Marauders in both games.

“We’ve been a little bit erratic in the front end of every match it seems,” said Louks. “Part of that has been individual play. A little bit of nerves.”

“What I’ve been really excited about is that as we’ve proceeded, our passing has really buoyed our effort.”

We’ve passed really well in the four matches to date [in the new year], and finished against Western in a very good place. We came out in set five and delivered the ball to Amanda [Weldon] and let her run from there.”

A large part of the Marauders’ success thus far this season has come from their offensive balance, and Louks indicated that such a trait gives McMaster crucial tactical flexibility.

“Rather than isolate one player or a section, we’ve got three to four people in that situation.

“It gets reflected on the score sheet as a balanced scoring attack simply because they’re all capable of taking part in that,” said Louks.

“For us, if we can distribute the ball equally, when teams are game-planning against us they have to have some thoughts.

They have to figure out who is hot. And right now, it’s getting a little tricky to do that.”

McMaster will look to continue this versatility this weekend, as the squad travels to Brock for a Friday night tilt against the Badgers.

Marauders avenge early losses

JEFF TAM / SILHOUETTE STAFF

Tyler Santoni soundly outplayed his Western rival Matt Waite.

FRASER CALDWELL standings. Despite losing at the ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR Burridge, Western stays atop the division by a four-point margin.

Nothing is quite as satisfying in In recognition of the Masport as a bit of vengeance. rauders’ success, the team was voted

The Marauders opened back into the CIS Top Ten rankings their two-game weekend series this week. McMaster enters at No. at the Burridge Gym against the 10 at the expense of the Dalhousie Windsor Lancers, who had worry- Tigers. ingly beaten the Hamiltonians in Friday’s five set thrill ride their season-opener. eventually fell in the host Maraud However, it was McMaster ers’ favour, but it certainly didn’t that would prevail on Friday night, look promising early.

Relying heavily on the recovering from a blown lead in the fourth set to clinch the match in the strength of their veteran left side fifth and deciding frame (17-25, Harrison Oake, the Lancers performed well early, and rode their 25-15, 25-23, 24-26, 15-8).

They followed that en- momentum to a 25-17 score line in couraging result with one of even the first set.

However, it was the Magreater importance. Despite West- ern’s season-long dominance of the rauders who would emerge from OUA, McMaster responded strong- the changeover as the more driven ly to a first set defeat to nab the next squad.

The result was a fairly three in relative ease and secure a famous victory (20-25, 25-18, dominant second set from the Marauders, who would level the match 25-18, 25-18).

With the vital weekend by a comfortable 10-point margin. sweep, McMaster ensured that it re- Play would level off conmains one step ahead of the Queen’s siderably in the third and fourth Gaels for second spot in the OUA sets, and the two teams split the

two games by the minimum of two points.

This left the Marauders and Lancers facing a sudden-death fifth set, in which the hosts proved to be the more steady of the two sides.

Jori Mantha and Michael Sjonnesen each posted impressive 20-point performances in the Friday win, while Tyler Santoni chipped in 19.

Saturday’s match presented an altogether more difficult challenge for the Marauders, but they would deal with the threat of the Mustangs with surprising ease.

Once again, McMaster would begin the match on less than their best form, and Western took advantage of the Marauders’ slow start to seal a first set victory by a score of 25-20.

However, from here the hosts would firmly take control of the match. Unlike their confrontation with the Lancers of the night previous, the Marauders would not relinquish their momentum.

Santoni’s blocking prowess set him apart on the night, and he thoroughly outplayed his muchcelebrated opposite number Matt Waite.

With Santoni, Mantha, and the newly healthy Kevin Stevens firing on all cylinders, McMaster took the second set by a seven-point margin, and would repeat the feat twice more to clinch a four-set win against the OUA pace-setters.

The aforementioned Santoni led the scoring for the Marauders with 14 points on the night, while Mantha and Stevens each contributed 13 of their own.

Sophomore middle Tyson Alexander impressed in a cameo appearance, notching 11 points on eight of 12 hitting over the span of three sets.

With the giant weekend behind them, the Marauders now look to enjoy a week of rest and training, as they have a rare byeweekend ahead of them.

McMaster returns to action next weekend, when they host the York Lions and Ryerson Rams on home soil at the Burridge Gym.

B4 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, JANUARY 13, 2011

THE SILHOUETTE • B5

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

Men’s Basketball

Connolly trying to keep Mac focused BRIAN DECKER SPORTS EDITOR

Having won four games in a row and vaulted themselves from the bottom of the OUA West to being a legitimate contender and one of the best teams in the division, the McMaster Marauders could easily be riding high on a wave of confidence.

After all, to kick off 2011, they’ve beaten Laurier, Western, division-leading Windsor and Brock – all good teams that were ahead of or tied with the Marauders before they played. It would seem confidence is easy to come by for the maroon and grey thus far in 2011.

But not if Amos Connolly has anything to say about it.

Connolly, the McMaster head coach, is preaching humbleness and respect to his team as they prepare for one of the biggest matchups they’ll see all season long: a weekend doubleheader with the 9-3 Lakehead Thunderwolves.

“[How good we are] is for other people to decide. We need to realize no matter how talented we are, we’re going to be better off if we act like we’re not that good,” said Connolly after practice on Wednesday, shortly after giving his team a pep demanding they play with the same patience that got them on their winning streak in the first place.

For Connolly, even though his team has looked mightily impressive lately, the

PHOTO C/O RICHARD ZAZULAK

On a four-game winning streak, Cam Michaud’s Marauders will play host to the Lakehead Thunderwolves this weekend.

Marauders have a long way to go before they easy three-point shots. We just need to be fell awkwardly on a dunk attempt after being able to contest,” said Connolly of limiting the fouled by Brock’s Jonathan Silver, hurting his are ready to contend in the postseason.

“Our team’s pretty good … but we Thunderwolves’ vicious three-point attack knee and shoulder in the process. can’t get to a point where we think we’re and stifling defence. Lakehead allows the It was thought earlier this week that good; we need to keep improving.” second fewest points in the OUA, and boasts the 6’7” rookie only suffered damage to his

That improvement will be tested a wealth of deadeye long range shooters. shoulder, but at practice on Wednesday, he heavily this weekend when the Thunder- “We can’t afford to lose a sense of was sporting a large brace on his left leg and wolves make a stop at the Burridge Gym. urgency,” said Connolly. could miss significant time with both injuries.

After a surprising season in 2009-10, includ- That sense of urgency will be even Connolly says Black’s absence will ing a berth into the CIS Final 8, Lakehead is more important in the coming games with the be felt especially on the defensive glass, and one of many strong contenders in the wild loss of rookie Taylor Black, who was injured forward Matt Wilusz will be asked to step in.

OUA West this year.

Both games this weekend will take in last Saturday’s win over Brock. Black, who

“We can’t let them get a bunch of has been a frequent contributor in Mac’s wins, place at 8 p.m. in the Burridge Gym.

Men’s Volleyball

McMaster adds Elliott, younger Groenveld to 2011 recruits FRASER CALDWELL

ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR

While McMaster achieved much on the court this past weekend, coach Dave Preston had equally encouraging news to announce off of it. Namely, the Marauders’ bench boss made public the commitments of two new recruits to the McMaster men’s volleyball program.

The prospective rookies in question are Dan Groenveld and Alex Elliott, the former of which should sound very familiar to anyone at all schooled in the recent history

of the Marauders.

Following in the footsteps of brothers Nathan and Jeremy, Dan Groenveld will be the third member of his family to occupy a position on the McMaster volleyball team.

Not only have the Groenvelds been perpetually present for the better part of a decade, both Nathan and Jeremy have garnered national accolades as Marauders.

The brothers have each been named as OUA and All-Canadian First Team All Stars, and Nathan was awarded the OUA’s Player of the Year honours in 2008. Jeremy’s

own trophy case would likely have gotten a further boost this season, if not for a slew of injuries that have effectively shut him out of the lineup.

The youngest of the Groenvelds indicated that his familiarity with McMaster through his brothers was a leading reason to choose the Marauders as his future team.

“The fact that Nate and Jeremy played at McMaster in the past certainly gave me a familiarity with the program and most of the team,” said Dan. “I have been coming to Mac games for seven years now and have experienced the entire atmosphere McMaster home games have to offer.”

Pedigree itself doesn’t earn a place on a varsity team, and the third generation of Groenveld recruit has much to recommend him on the volleyball court. The left side has led his Hamilton-based Mountain Athletic Club side to medals at both the provincial and national levels.

When asked to explain his playing style and approach to the game of volleyball, Groenveld emphasized his commitment to maintaining an exemplary work ethic.

“I am a very competitive player with a drive to improve in the game. Giving 100 per cent all the time is something I have been taught from the beginning and I would not play any other way.”

With regards to his goals within the sport, Groenveld expressed a wish to make a contribution to the Marauders as soon as possible, and propel the squad to the highest stage.

“I am looking to immediately make an impact on the team however possible.

My immediate goals are to win not only an OUA championship but compete on the national level at the CIS championships,” said Groenveld.

“I believe the program has great potential to achieve these goals and has a very

bright future as a national contender.”

Joining Groenveld with the Marauders will be another standout member of the Ontario Provincial setup, Coburg’s Alex Elliot. The 18-year-old hitter currently plays club volleyball for the Durham Attack, who recently won a bronze medal at the provincial Under-18 tournament.

Although he lacks the experience with McMaster of his fellow recruit Groenveld, Elliot is equally optimistic about his future in maroon and grey.

“I chose McMaster because it has an amazing athletic facility and a really great group of guys and coaches,” said Elliot.

“Also it has a really outstanding reputation for a university, particularly in Kinesiology and Health Sciences.”

Where Elliot comes very close to Groenveld is in his approach to the game, as he cited a similar level of commitment to his performance, week in and week out.

“I play the game with a lot passion and commitment. I approach each game with the confidence that my team is able to win that game, no matter the circumstances. It will be a more difficult task at the university level because the game speeds up so much.

Everyone is bigger, faster and stronger.”

In terms of his immediate future, Elliott is hopeful that he will be given a chance to shine on both the varsity and national levels.

“I am really looking forward to being a part of the McMaster volleyball team.

This summer, I hope to again make the Ontario Provincial team and am hoping to play on the Canadian Junior men’s team the following summer.”

Both players will be given the chance to experience varsity volleyball soon enough.

In the meantime, the high school standouts’ focus remains squarely on the possibilities of club, provincial, and national success.

Women’s Basketball

Marauders add two to injury-depleted roster BRIAN DECKER SPORTS EDITOR

After forfeiting a game last week against the Windsor Lancers, the McMaster women’s basketball team has added two players to bolster their injury-depleted roster.

Shannon Wylie, the 5’6” guard, and 5’10” forward Leeann Schildroth have joined the team this week after McMaster played its first three games of 2011 with just seven players.

Schildroth, a third-year Kinesiology student, was a member of the 2008-2009 team, appearing in 11 games and scoring two points and grabbing nine rebounds. Wylie is a first-year Business student from Bayridge Secondary School in Kingston.

Controversy surfaced last Wednesday when the OUA postponed a scheduled match between the Marauders and the CIS number 2-ranked Windsor Lancers in Hamilton. Alyska Lukan and Katie Knight were both hurt in the previous game against West-

ern, leaving Mac with just five available players.

As McMaster coach Theresa Burns told the Sil, canceling the game was “the only responsible situation that could be made in this situation. The health and safety of our players is the first priority in this situation.”

The Lancers, who have also played with just seven players on multiple occasions this season were upset with the decision at the time. Lancers coach Chantal Vallée told the Windsor Star, “I can’t believe the OUA would set such a dangerous [precedent]. At this point, I’m more frustrated with the situation than empathetic.”

Burns was not amused with Vallée’s comments, saying to the Hamilton Spectator, “I found those comments despicable… They wanted us to play with five. That would be grossly irresponsible on our part.”

The two teams rescheduled the game for Feb. 6 and will play an originally planned match Feb. 16. Both games will take place in Windsor.

B6 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

Women’s Basketball

Marauders look for silver lining Nimec, Burns making the most of injuries to key players BRIAN DECKER SPORTS EDITOR

Bright spots have been hard to come by for the McMaster Marauders this season. Injuries have plagued them, losses are piling up, and a season that began with plenty of promise is quickly slipping away.

But if there is a silver lining in the adversity this season, it’s that some of Mac’s younger players have had a chance to get some playing time and develop their skills in real game situations.

And of all the young Marauders, none has taken a hold of the spotlight quite like Jackie Nimec.

The second-year wing has been forced to play the role of Mac’s lead scorer, and is showing signs that it’s right where she belongs.

“We’re really pleased with how [Nimec] has come along this year. She’s been showing so much confidence on the court and scoring the ball the way we thought she’s been capable of,” said coach Theresa Burns at practice on Wednesday.

A graduate of Saltfleet District High School in Stoney Creek, Nimec came to the Marauders in 2009 as a talented but raw spot-up shooter. But with five Marauders permanently on the sidelines this season, she’s had to develop her game at an accelerated pace and become a scoring threat.

So far, she’s adapted well, leading the team in scoring with 12.8 points per game, good for fourteenth-best in the OUA.

“I think everybody has really had to step into unfamiliar roles because of our situation, and I know that [Burns] needs us all to shoot more and to be scorers. My shot and my outside game are some things that I’ve been working hard on in practice,” said Nimec.

Of course Nimec, who is

PHOTO C/O RICHARD ZAZULAK

Second-year wing Jackie Nimec is adjusting to becoming a focal point of McMaster’s offence, averaging 12.8 points per game. shooting 40 per cent from the field and averaging 3.6 turnovers, still has a long way to go to become a more consistent player. Burns says now that she is comfortable being the focal point of the offence, the six-foot Nimec needs to diversify her skill set.

“The next part of her development is going to be to develop some one-on-one skills so when people close out hard she can take it to the rim,” said Burns. “She’s not scared to take it to the rim and she

doesn’t hesitate, she just needs to be a little more polished.”

Despite her rise, 201011 has been a rough campaign for Nimec and her teammates. Beginning the year with a young but talented roster optimistic of contending in the tough OUA West division, McMaster have slowly seen their hopes fade with injuries and now sit at 3-8 in conference play.

A 73-54 loss to the Brock Badgers last Saturday was the latest in a series of tough losses. Despite

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a brilliant game of 22 points and 11 rebounds from Taylor Chiarot, the Marauders made 35 turnovers and fell away quickly from the 9-4 Badgers.

Nimec, who scored 15 points but went just 5-for-18 from the field, says the challenges of playing with a short bench is something her team is still adjusting to.

“We’re struggling with a lot of turnovers. We get mentally tired out there with so few players, and we need to get tougher men-

tally, especially in the fourth quarter, and getting used to playing with seven players.”

The schedule doesn’t get any easier for Mac this weekend when the 8-4 Lakehead Thunderwolves come to Hamilton for a pair of games.

And while the adversity continues to mount for the Marauders, Nimec and her teammates will keep looking for the bright spots in a season that’s had few for them to find.

THE SILHOUETTE • C1

INSIDEOUT THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

production office extension: 27117 insideout@thesil.ca

My first Rome

I

JONATHON FAIRCLOUGH ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR

t wasn’t until the bags were loaded into the car — three months worth of clothes and equipment — that I began to think about the journey ahead of me. June, July, August – all to be spent in unfamiliar places: hostels, campsites, beaches, and hotels … if I got lucky.

It was at the end of my first year of university and the world, with all its elusive wonderment, was within my sights. I would not be the same, that I knew. The car ride, a mere half-hour long, was my bridge between the Canada of my youth and the Europe of my adulthood. Where I went and what I did was all but a vague prediction at that point. And I couldn’t be more scared.

My brother and I landed in Rome on a humid Monday morning. A 24-kilo bag on my back, with another pack on my front to counter-balance it, I walked through the doors of Leonardo Da Vinci airport — through the wall of chain-smoking airport staff and flight attendants — up an escalator, onto the train that would deliver us into the centre of Rome.

Fuck, it was hot. Nine in the morning and it was already 27 degrees Celsius. The train ride was a roller coaster of fear and wonderment. Aqueducts and ruins dotted the moving landscape, many of which had been brutalized by poorly administered graffiti.

“Why?” I thought. So much history and so much beautiful architecture, placed in the protection of the historically indifferent.

Termini Station, Rome’s central hub of transportation, was bustling with wide-eyed tourists, commuters, and ogling street cons. With a wad of cash in a body pouch and a grand-worth of photo equipment in my pack, I ignored the suggestions of “concerned locals” who wanted to help me find my way.

We found our way. A 15-minute walk past urban decay and old ruins, we found ourselves at the Alessandro Downtown Hostel, half way between the old Forum and the new, sprawling cityscape of suburban Rome.

My goodness, was it a relief to set my bags down, stretch those tired legs and shoulders on a bunk.

My first hostel experience wasn’t supposed to be this nice. I imagined a military-style barracks, a residence not unlike the ones that can be found on a university campus, but no, it was an old apartment turned superhostel: kitchen, social room, big bathrooms, the works, a mosaic of cultures and accents and languages. Everyone was my age.

Everyone was keen to meet you, ask your story. Two hours into my Euro-experience, and my anxieties were gone. I had arrived. Hello, Rome.

My brother and I walked the streets, receptive to every single cultural shift and variation. Beer was cheaper than water, cigarettes cheaper than chocolate … what is this place? Living in a place like Canada, it’s so difficult to think of life any other way. But you run away like I did, you throw yourself into a city or a culture, and you wonder why this can’t be the way everywhere.

You could drink outside, in public! You could cross the street and cars would actually stop for you.

Men and women dressed in suits and dresses every day of the week. No sweatpants, sneakers, baseball caps anywhere to be found.

That first day shocked me. We create worlds for ourselves; we force ourselves to believe that life is the same everywhere. No, it isn’t, life is upside down, back and forth, in every corner of the world. Had I not left on a whim, had I stayed in Canada for the summer and worked in a warehouse, or a golf course, I wouldn’t be the wiser. But there I was, in the middle of a bizarro universe, wondering what the second, the third and the fourth day would bring to me and my simple, decided, eyes.

And so we walked, that first day, through the alleys and the ruins of 2000 years of civilization. And I swear I saw the ghost of Augustus on a Vespa, beeping and speeding off past the Coliseum, in a black suit, no less. I saw my first gypsy, hustling outside of the Coliseum; baby in one arm, outstretched hand in the other, • PLEASE SEE CIAO, C4

JONATHON FAIRCLOUGH / ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR

[This Week in InsideOut] Masturbation sensation

Schoolhouse style

Snowpeople

Masturbation may be taboo, but it hasn’t stopped many of us from doing it.

Does the battle across academic faculties extend to one’s personal style as well?

Ho-ho-ho may be long gone, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with winter snow.

Pg. C2

Pg. C3

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C2 • THE SILHOUETTE

SEX and the STEEL CITY NATALIE TIMPERIO

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

Don’t hesitate to masturbate

SENIOR INSIDEOUT EDITOR

Masturbation; it insinuates so much more than the manual stimulation of one’s genitals. Whether masturbation makes you gasp in sheer satisfaction or in outright disgust, we all know what it is, and, unless you abide by some moral doctrine, you’ve at least once participated in this act of self-indulgence.

Masturbation is perfectly natural for everyone, so what then makes it a taboo topic?

There’s something about giving yourself sexual pleasure that may create feelings of shame and cause you to feel disgraced.

We’re often taught from a very young and easily impressionable age that masturbation is wrong in some way—it’s icky, sinful, and even messy. No matter how you put it, we become engulfed in the mindset that masturbation is a big no-no.

And, let’s face it, for the majority of people masturbation is probably the last thing parents want to talk to their children about, if at all.

But who can blame them?

Most of us are probably just as unwilling to discuss the “M” word with our parents.

Of course sex education classes in high school also steer clear from this topic altogether, so it is no surprise that many of us may look to masturbation with disdain as it’s quite easy to get the idea that what is not spoken about must be morally wrong.

Even more so, masturbation takes on an entirely different meaning for women and men, as it frequently denotes very different social meanings for each gender.

Whereas men may generally be more comfortable to admitting to masturbating, conversely women often remain “hush hush” about masturbating altogether.

In fact, masturbation for men is often glorified while for women it seems almost scandalous.

Of course, this does not necessar-

CHRISTOPHER CHANG / SENIOR PHOTO EDITOR

From monkeys to humankind, masturbation is an innate instinct for men as well as women. ily hold true in all cases, and we can probably think of many times in which these roles have been reversed.

But, even in light of many of these social realities, masturbation need not be so taboo.

Admittedly, even with these negativities that encircle masturbation, they more than likely have not stopped any of us from at least gently gyrating our genitals, for both men and women alike.

In fact, although we cannot fully recall our pre-puberty years, masturbation is actually something that takes place long before we are even able to speak.

Albeit we may not reach climax, curiosity about one’s body is common in our younger years.

So, masturbating is not only natural, it is also a great way to get in tune with one’s self and body, not to mention release some pent up tensions. And what’s great about masturbation is that you don’t need a partner to give you pleasure.

In fact, single or attached, masturbating is, needless to say, an independent act that works well throughout all phases in the relationship world.

For those weary of sexual intercourse, what with the influx of sexually transmitted infections and

oopsy-daisy pregnancies, masturbation also proves a great way to avoid any of these unwanted risks while still providing sexual stimulation and pleasure.

Masturbation can also be fun. With the variety of sex toys for both men and women that exist - and, yes, it’s normal to feel like you’re lost in a labyrinth with some of them – masturbating is increasingly consented to in society.

Fantasies also take precedence when masturbating, which is something you may not always be able to do with a partner for fear of judgment.

While you’re at it, why

What do you look for in a significant other: sense of humour, likes the outdoors, pretty eyes

not try different masturbatory positions?

And if coming into physical contact with your own genitals still gives you the willies then there are a myriad of ways to pleasure yourself without even touching your nether regions: get adventurous.

Masturbating should be a time not in which to feel abnormal, but a time in which to feel, well, awesome.

Not only does it signify that you’re a well-functioning individual, it also indicates that you’re able to find an appropriate past time between study breaks.

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Fourth Year Biochemistry Desribe your style: ferociously casual Favourite Artist: AC/DC Favourite Quote: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” - Wayne Gretzky

Jacket: 686 Smarty Jacket - $180 Shirt: Element - $25 Button down shirt: Cotton-On Australia - $10 Pants: Premium-Taint Denim - $40 Shoes: Nike Air Max 90 - $125 Backpack: Ogio Backpack - $80 Photos by Farang Ghajar

THE SILHOUETTE • C3

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

FashionWatch CHANÈLE JORDAN CHRISTOPHR MCFARLANE THE SILHOUETTE

Upon walking through Mills Memorial Library on a Thursday afternoon, we look to our left only to see an individual dressed in what seems to be preppy attire. We then look to our right and see an individual who looks photo-shoot ready. And right ahead of us, we see someone that appears to have just rolled out of bed, still clothed in pajama bottoms and slippers. Why is it that there is such a difference in these individuals’ styles?

“Bed attire” may not yet be considered a style; perhaps it is more a result of lack of effort than anything else. It could simply be a difference in attitude toward dress sense or personality. If so, what then affects one’s attitude towards “style”?

From Health Sciences to Humanities, McMaster is comprised of a number of different faculties and between them the personalities of the students do indeed vary.

From more introverted and conservative to extraverted and liberal, is there a link between one’s personality and faculty? How would one’s personality affect attitudes and dress sense? Of the three individuals we saw, is it possible to determine the faculty of these people simply by their appearance?

So the challenge begins.

Curious to test out our theory, we decided to make another trip to Mills. Our goal was to find ten people – five girls and five guys – each from different faculties.

We asked each person a number of questions regarding their personal fashion habits, as well as their opinion on their faculty’s overall sense of style.

“Fashion is very important to me. I want to feel confident on campus, so no matter how I’m feel-

Fashion among the faculties ing, I make sure that I look decent so people don’t look at me funny,” said first-year Social Sciences student Amberlynn Palmer.

Conversely, Trishwatie Chatterpaul, a second-year Life Sciences student, said, “I don’t feel pressured to dress a certain way on campus. I dress to feel comfortable.”

Is this a view shared by others in their faculty or not? A similar difference in attitudes is found amongst males. The response of the other students seemed to correlate.

Kinshuk Kumar, first-year Engineering student said that “It’s not very important at all. When I shop, I shop for the best bargain.”

Second-year Psychology student Collins Oghor said, “I think it’s very important to look your best at all times. You only get one chance at first impressions.”

Out of the ten interviewed, the majority shared the view that the most fashionable faculties are Humanities and Social Science, compared to those in Engineering and Sciences who generally don’t hold fashion in as high regard.

So why is it that Humanities and Social Sciences hold the title of being the most fashionable faculties?

Many explained that the students in those faculties tend to be more laid-back, and generally have a lighter workload in comparison to those in the sciences and engineering. This leaves students in those faculties with a lot more time to put effort into their daily appearance.

A clear difference was also noted between genders when comparing attitudes towards fashion.

The majority of males seemed less concerned with how others view them. Girls, on the other hand, invest a lot more time in outward appearance. So do these findings have any truth to them, or are they more fiction than fact? Although our mini-experiment has provided us

CHANELE JORDAN / SILHOUETTE STAFF

From sloppy Science students to those fashionable in Finance, fashion ranges widely at Mac. with a lot of interesting results, we still cannot assume that these findings are applicable to every single student on campus.

It is very possible that a number of Social Science and Humanities students do not find fashion to be very important, and thus sweatpants and baggy shirts fre-

quently comprise their outfits. Campus fashion may not be important for many. Although a person may not be very fashionable at school, it does not necessarily mean that outside of the lecture hall, they have no sense of style.

With all of this in mind, the saying “don’t judge a book by

its cover” proves itself to be a valid statement, especially in such a diverse community like McMaster University.

So now it’s your turn. Try the experiment for yourself and see if you can accurately identify the individual’s faculty (don’t forget to ask them after!)

Would you like fries with that, ma’am?

Fighting the social stigma attached to low prestige jobs.

KAITLIN PETERS

ASSISTANT INSIDEOUT EDITOR

Unless you currently live under a rock, you probably were aware that McMaster played host to a strike by hospitality workers last week.

Though classes ran as usual, students experienced smaller changes such as waiting an extra 15 minutes to an hour to get onto campus grounds to park or being unable to purchase regular meals at campus food places.

Though interesting to see how the school adapted to the shortage of food-related services (i.e. the cups of chilli being doled out at the Union Market or the Jamaican patty stand having an extremely good week), students had mixed opin-

ions.

Many students were sympathetic to the workers and supported their cause. But others voiced comments that held what could only be scorn; “it’s not like they’re hard to replace”, or “I don’t know . . . if this means my tuition has to increase” related some students’ misgivings about the strike.

Their doubts about the legitimacy of the strike were related to their perception of the worth of hospitality workers’ jobs.

In Canada, a job considered of low worth is usually viewed to be one of low prestige as well.

It seems occupational prestige is a complex mixture of level of education needed, income, skill required and a myriad of other factors. And

in the rat race that has become Ontario, where people are easily working 70 plus hours every week, it can become hard to think of yourself apart from your job.

In 2010 the jobs topping the desirability list were firefighter, teacher, and scientist. But a large salary does not always equate to high prestige as can be reflected with banker, real estate and careers in entertainment filling out the bottom of the list.

Those that are also occupying the bottom rung of the prestige ladder are people who hold ‘McJobs’, which require few skills, pay a meagre income, and offer little opportunity for career advancement.

The McJob emphasizes

inter-changeability among workers, and efficacy and service are prioritized over ingenuity and invention.

Often held by young people either working their way through school or in the transition to their careers, McJobs hold a certain amount of social stigma for those past their early twenties.

Not only do McJobs tend to pay wages that are not sufficient to sustain employees above poverty levels, but holding a job that is considered of little worth by society at large can negatively affect one’s self esteem. Possessing a job that is devalued by most of society can be disheartening and depressing.

Service workers routinely experience discrimination and plain rudeness on the job when interact-

ing with customers. Their position of providing a service has put the customer into a position of power that they can easily abuse, especially if they themselves are already having a bad day.

In addition to the social stigma surrounding such jobs, it’s possible that holding a job of low prestige can manifest as reduced public support when fighting for a raise in income or benefits, which can mean the difference between a successful strike and walking away empty-handed.

So think about the social stigma such workers face next time you’re considering venting your pent up rage at the innocent cashier or leaving a sole penny as means of a tip.

Jan. 22 McMaster’s Walk for Memories 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. @ David Braley Athletic Centre Participants need to register and raise money Visit https://www.msumcmaster.ca/ for more info

Jan. 26 Hamilton Bulldogs Hockey Game 11 a.m. @ Copps Coliseum Visit http://hamilton.wearenetwork.com/community/events for more info

Jan. 22 and 23 Disney Live and Mickey’s Rockin Road Show 2 p.m. @ Copps Coliseum Visit http://eventful.com/hamilton/events for more info

Jan. 28 Brad Paisley with Darius Rucker, Jerrod Niemann.

7: 30 p.m. @ Copps Coliseum Visit http://eventful.com/hamilton/events for more info

Jan. 24 Finger Eleven concert 7:30 p.m. @ Hamilton Place Theatre Visit http://www.49st.com/event/finger-eleven-8 for more info

Jan. 28 to 29 Women Fully Clothed (show) 8 p.m. @ Hamilton Place Theatre Visit http://www.hecfi.ca for more info

C4 • THE SILHOUETTE

How-to -do-it

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

Build the ultimate snowperson KAITLIN PETERS

ASSISTANT INSIDEOUT EDITOR

After the holidays in December, most people have had just about enough of winter. The snow and accompanying bone-chilling cold are no longer welcome. Rather than opening your curtains with delight to see the soft stuff accumulating on your windowsill, students silently curse underneath their breath as they dread the long trek to campus.

What better way to embrace January and ward off seasonal affective disorder than to build a snowperson.

JOY SANTIAGO / MULTIMEDIA EDITOR

Relive childhood memories and embrace the season by building the ultimate snowman.

up for disappointment. Any snowperson worth its salt will be at least the size of a regular person. Trying to get the bottom ball to the proper size requires some serious snowrolling strength. In a team and with the proper combination of ropes and a pulley system you should be able to roll a ball that would flatten any Smartcar if rolled down a steep enough incline.

Don’t let your snowperson suffer from a personality disorder; give it an identity!

Facial features and carefully arranged limbs are essential for letting your snowperson express itself. Is your snowperson a recluse who despises the company of others? Let it convey these feelings with an artistically arranged scowl and the universal hand signal for ‘eff off.’

Ensure you’re working with the proper quality snow.

Freshly fallen powder is typically better for sledding and snow angels than for making a snowman. If you pick up a handful and it won’t conform to your molding attempts, then you’ll have to wait till the weather warms a bit.

Don’t be conventional and place your snowman on the front lawn; Equip yourself with the proper push the boundaries of snowpersupplies. son etiquette and spread winter

You don’t want your snow- cheer. man feeling like that kid with the Have you always wished scabbing sores nobody wanted to that the arts quad would benefit talk to in middle school. Your snow- from a small legion of snow people? person has got to be decked out with Or that a silently-watching snow the latest cold weather fashions. sentry would keep bus travelers The runways in Paris indicate that company on a cold winter’s night? a woolen scarf, silk top hat, and ex- Then ‘Buildith where the snow fallactly four large buttons are essential eth’ is a good motto to live by. unless you want to be considered a social leper.

Now that this sacred snowperson-making knowledge has been Create your ‘snowperson-mak- imparted to you, it becomes your ing’ A-team. obligation to go out into the freez If you try to take on the ing sub-zero world and create the task yourself, you’ll set yourself ultimate snowperson!

Ciao, childhood • CONT’D FROM C1 she targeted women and young girls rest, so I did. It was the end of day who, I suppose, could sympathize more with her situation.

Begging in large tourist Some people cities such as Rome is a cash-cow industry. I had never seen a gypsy, gauge their develnever understood their story. opment in terms

They are as old as the Roman Empire itself — no home, no of essential steps permanent residence — they thrive ... I gauge my off of begging, and to my knowledge they do very well at it … esdevelopment on a pecially when you dangle a baby in single day, June front of tourists.

I was beat tired, I’d been 8, 2009.” up for 30 hours.

The beer and the cigarettes made me soft and lucid. I needed to one. That first day, that dizzying and

Phrase of the Week “When the economy picks up...”

Common beginning or ending to a sentence. It can serve to: 1. Provide an excuse for why one has not yet done something.

2. Suggest a vague intention of doing something later (similar to how Spanish speakers use the word “mañana.”)

3. Add minimal credibility to an idea that is a pipe dream.

4. There’s no point in looking for a job until the economy picks up.

5. I’ll start my business when the economy picks up.

Used in a sentence:

“I’ll be able to get a job with my BA in Classics when the economy picks up.”

electrifying first day, was day one of my adult life.

Some people gauge their development in terms of essential steps: going to university, getting your first house, meeting your first love, losing a friend or a loved one.

I gauge my development on a single day, June 8, 2009.

I was far away from home, with my essentials tightly stuffed into a backpack, in a city that was raw and bustling and exploding at the seams.

I had thrust myself into what was my adult life on a giant whim.

And hell, I was loving it.

A couple of mimes at Siesta in Rome.

JONATHON FAIRCLOUGH / ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR

THE SILHOUETTE • C5

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

Turnover a new leaf Don’t let sleep

be your defeat

Learn how to deal with your insomnia woes getting a good night’s sleep and taking naps is clearly more conducive to learning than those late night Do you spend countless nights toss- cram sessions.

So what can we do to ing and turning, trying to find a comfortable position? Do you have battle that incessant insomnia? Well difficulty falling asleep despite to tackle that, one often has to look being exhausted? You’re not alone. at the causes of insomnia. Insomnia The Canadian Community Health has been linked to many mental and Survey of 2002 shows that a large physical disorders but it can be both portion of Canadians suffer from a symptom and the disorder itself. insomnia, the most common sleep which makes it difficult to point to a disorder. Up to one in seven Can- specific cause for insomnia.

There are many common adians have difficulty falling asleep causes for insomnia including but and staying asleep.

Just because it’s common, not limited to stress, anxiety, depression, hormonal changes, jet lag, doesn’t mean it’s decreased melatonormal. In fact, nin, alcohol or cafsleep is one of Just because it’s feine overuse, and the most important functions that common, doesn’t pain. Often though, is a sympour bodies conmean it’s normal. insomnia tom of a greater duct, especially for students who are In fact, sleep is one medical condition trying to learn as of the most impor- and if it persists for period of time much as they can, tant functions that ait long is a good idea to as fast as they can.

For years we’ve our bodies conduct, visit your doctor.

If you’re been told that the especially for stu- sure that your insecret to doing well dents.” somnia is not a sign is a good night’s of a greater medsleep. Now we ical condition, then there are many know why.

A recent study by Matthew steps you can take towards getting a Walker at the University of Califor- better night’s sleep. One of the simnia, Berkeley shows that sleep and plest ways is to establish a regular even napping improves our ability sleep schedule with regular waketo store and consolidate our mem- up times and bedtimes. Try to stick to it even on weekends. ories.

Another measure you can

While sleeping, informa- tion locked in the short-term stor- try is to get some light exercise age of the part of the brain called before going to bed as light exercise the hippocampus is moved over to aids sleep. Other tips include using the long-term storage of the cortex. the bed only for sleep so as to as This means that it’s not sociate your bed only with sleep, only important to sleep after learn- drinking a warm glass of milk 15 ing, but also before learning. The minutes before bed, and avoiding study also took a look at REM caffeine, especially later on in the sleep, the dreaming stage of sleep. day.

If none of these methods It found that this part of our sleep is important when it comes to finding seem to work, it may be best to visit a health professional. You can visit creative solutions to problems.

“When you have a prob- the Campus Health Centre in the lem, no one says you should stay basement of MUSC or you can call awake on it,” Walker noted during ahead to book an appointment at a press conference. So, as a student, ext. 27700.

NEEPA PARIKH SHEC MEDIA

JOY SANTIAGO / MULTIMEDIA EDITOR

Trying to ‘revamp’ yourself all at once may leave you running on steam.

MEAGAN MCEWEN

of stresses.

If you have feelings of anxiety and depression, think about As we reach the halfway point in making an appointment to chat with the school year and are faced with a counsellor at the Centre for Stuanother daunting January, it seems dent Development (CSD) in the appropriate to take stock of our Student Centre. They have a wealth lives. of resources and many ears willing

Student life, and particu- to listen. larly first year, can wreak havoc on one’s entire body.

Mouth

Poor diet, lack of exercise Breath worse than usual? and sleep, and admittedly sub-par Halitosis, the medical term for bad personal hygiene are habits that can, breath, can be worsened by certain and perhaps should be benched for foods such as meat, cheese, and this season. It’s time to look critic- onions, as well as by smoking. ally at ourselves from head to toe: Teeth

Coffee, caffeinated soft Hair

Looking a little dull and drinks, and poor diet can take quite lifeless? Hair growth and appear- a toll on the thin layer of enamel. ance is greatly affected by diet. Try Sodas contain carbonic adding proteins and vegetables rich acid, which can dissolve the minin omega fatty acids to your diet, erals in enamel, weakening the such as salmon, flax, and soybeans. structure and lead to tooth decay.

Coffee is staining, not to Head mention highly acidic, also leading

If you are already feeling to enamel weakening. overwhelmed with your new sched- Getting two to three servule, it may be time for a mental ings of dairy or alternative prodhealth checkup. ucts rich in calcium, and brushing

This is often a neglected and flossing daily helps build back area of overall well-being, but it’s weakened enamel and remove critically important, especially sugars that allow bacteria to grow.

Good oral health is importamongst students with a unique set SHEC MEDIA

ant for overall health!

Skin

Lack of sleep, diet, and general laziness with washing up can all lead to breakouts.

Winter weather can also dry and chap exposed skin, so be sure to moisturize hands and apply lip salve.

Belly

If you have acquired a little bit of a paunch from holiday treats combined with a less than stellar vegetable-eating record last semester, now is the time to think about making better choices in diet and including more exercise into your week.

An excess of abdominal fat has been associated with cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and other dangerous health conditions.

I hope some of you had a chance to check out SHEC’s New Year’s State of Mind fair this week in the Student Centre.

Regardless, this is the perfect time to do a health checkup and make some simple goals that will go a long way toward preparing your mind and body to tackle this next semester and the following months to come.

Lifestyle Tidbits There could be changes to British Act of Settlement — which would give female Royals equal rights of succession. Under the new Act, whoever is born first has rights to the crown (regardless of gender).

Just another sign that Facebook is consuming people’s lives. Shannon Johnson was playing Cafe World and checking status updates while her 13-month-old son was in the bath. The baby died of anoxic brain injury, cardiac arrest and drowning.

Warning: Excessive use of sunscreen can potentially lead to rickets. A 12-year-old girl has been diagnosed with the early stages of rickets - after her mother used too much high-factor sun cream to protect her skin.

A cat has been summoned to do jury service in the US - even after his owners pointed out he was “unable to speak and understand English”.

Flex those phalanges and get typing!

Write for Insideout!

E-mail us at insideout@thesil.ca Volunteer meetings every Monday at 2 p.m.

C6 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

THE SILHOUETTE • C7

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

BUSINESS 4¢ Too Much?

production office extension: 27117 business@thesil.ca

CHRSTOPHER CHANG / SENIOR PHOTO EDITOR

La Piazza may be taxing more than they should for produce.

SIMON GRANAT

washed, pre-packaged salads are also exempt The act governing taxing of food from tax regardless of the washing and pack- does not say what “catering” means exactly. aging process.

Although, the Canadian Revenue Agency behy would anyone pay tax if they The law does lieves a caterer to be “a person don’t have to? Sounds silly doesn’t change depending on if the who, at the direction of the cusit, but students around McMaster product is a catered good. tomer, supplies prepared meals needlessly pay tax each and every day. La The question is whether or Currently, La Piazza (including buffet style) or other Piazza charges students tax on fresh, unpre- not La Piazza is a catered charges $0.79 per food or beverages and delivers pared produce such as apples, oranges, ba- agency. fruit, plus five per the order to the premises designanas and the like.

Representatives nated by the customer where

Currently, La Piazza charges $0.79 from La Piazza’s account- cent HST. This means the food may be arranged, per fruit, plus five per cent HST. This means ing department could not be that students pay heated or served by the supthat students pay $0.83, four cents more reached for comment. When $0.83, four cents plier.” than they might have to. Under the HST tax walking into La Piazza,

However, the more than they exemptions, prepared food and beverages that employees preparing food question as to whether or not a are $4.00 or less are only subject to five per in Creation X wear chef’s company is a caterer gets mudmight have to.” cent tax. whites clearly labeled “Mcdied when they do not advertise

The trouble is that a whole apple, Master Hospitality,” while themselves as a caterer, espeunpeeled orange or banana is not considered others wear red shirts with cially in the case of produce, a prepared food by Revenue Canada. Raw no logo and the words “McMaster Hospital- where the food can be eaten without any prior fruits such as produce and other basic grocer- ity” sitting above their name on their name preparation. The CRA provides four criteria ies are exempted from taxation. Further, pre- tag. for how to judge whether or not a company is

a caterer.

The food in question must be in a form that can easily be consumed, it must be applied to the customer on a per person or per serving charge, the food must be delivered to the customer, and all amenities to consume the product must be provided.

Produce is a grey area given these four criteria. Apples, oranges and bananas require little to no preparation, can be sold to a customer on a per serving charge at the discretion of the proprietor. In addition, there is no delivery to the customer that happens at La Piazza that distinguishes it from a grocery store, and finally there are no amenities needed to eat produce.

Does La Piazza do enough to advertise themselves as a caterer to justify taxing produce? Or is La Piazza similar enough to some grocery stores and megamarts who sell both raw and prepared foods, that they should drop the tax on produce?

Raging Bull

Economic Eight Ball

W

BUSINESS EDITOR

A torrid, two-day love affair SIMON GRANAT BUSINESS EDITOR

I think I’m in love. Not with a woman, but with a machine. This past weekend I went to Montreal and the train trip up was six hours long. For thousands of years humans have travelled the globe and often their travel time exceeded mine. They survived, without technology, and sometimes without books, light or electricity. I don’t know how they did it and I’m not sure that I want to know.

And then two days before the trip I fell in love. It was sleek, sexy, thin and caught my eye as I walked through Titles Bookstore.

It was the iPad.

What a device! I was immediately stricken. I could spend the trip surfing the Internet, or reading a book, or even doing homework, if I wanted. But despite my infatuation, I paused. With a starting price of about $549, I decided that it would be best to think about whether or not it was worth the price.

During the next two days I asked my friends what they thought of the iPad and whether or not they thought I should buy one.

I can’t say that their responses surprised me.

“They’re too expensive,” one friend said.

“They’re uncomfortable to type on and not very useful if you have a laptop,” reported another.

I knew they were right, but I was still in love. “Not as expensive as a laptop, plus they’re lighter and you can get a keyboard,” I would rebut out of a torrid combination somewhere in between denial and lust. I wanted it. And it wanted me. In the days leading up to my trip its siren song called me to look at it over, and over and over again.

I’m not sure exactly what it was that drew me to it. Normally, I’m not so easily swayed. Whatever it was could be the reason for Apple’s growth in the past couple years.

The once tiny computer company’s revenue is now larger than Microsoft. In 2010 their stock doubled and it now hovers around US$340 per share.

The trouble is that economists disagree on whether or not Apple will keep growing. Some believe that their upcoming releases will drive the nail deeper into the coffin of other techno-device manufacturers.

Others believe that Apple has gotten too big and they are bound to shrink as competition mounts from all sides. The latter critics point to the yet unreleased BlackBerry PlayBook and other similar devices.

The trouble is that no one knows what Apple’s future fate is because these same economists still don’t know why Apple has been so successful. Has it been the marketing, and their ability to produce a sleek, sexy product that yells “You’re artistic”? Or is it the rumour that Mac Computers don’t crash? Or is it just the brand of the iPod that has people hooked? In any event, economists aren’t sure what Apple is doing right.

I never bought that iPad. Although I wanted to, I just couldn’t justify the cost of it combined with what I would spend on the trip. My need to buy it has decreased some but I still feel it. I think like anything else I’ll still feel it for years.

I can’t explain the week that I fell in love with the iPad and even though I’m over it, I can’t help wondering what my life would have been like with an iPad. Would it have been worth it?

US Markets

It looks like US markets will be rocky for investors in the next week. This will come with the release of federal balance sheets on liquidity levels, rising jobless claims, and the consumer confidence report next week. I predict it will be below estimates but not completely in the red.

Canadian Markets

Canada usually rides on the coattails of global economic success, and with global recovery prominent right now the weekly forecast looks good for Canadian markets. Businesses are growing and our dollar is spurring more import demand. Our economic forecast looks like it is in good shape for the week ahead.

[This Week in Business] Westdale Cafe

MARS Apprentice

Zellers buyout

Take a look inside Westdale’s newest coffee shop and learn why you shoud check them out.

One of the Business school’s top events is starting soon.

Check out the details inside.

Take a look at the Gould Trading Floor’s analysis on the developments surrounding the Zellers Buyout.

Pg. C8

Pg. C10

Pg. C11

C8 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

Small Business

In Brewing success in the ‘hood Brief Taking an in depth look at the Westdale Cafe JP Morgan Refunds Mortgages

JP Morgan Chase & Co, the second largest US bank by assets, has announced that they will be reimbursing over two million dollars to families who were overcharged on their mortgages and lost their homes due to foreclosure. This comes after lawsuits were filed by serving military personnel who are protected under the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act, which protects activeduty personnel from foreclosure and prohibits banks from charging more than six per cent for a mortgage.

Apple crushes estimates

Not that it comes as a surprise to anyone, but Apple had a fantastic holiday quarter seeing their profit rise 78 per cent due to the immense demand for Apple related products.

This also comes after Steve Jobs announced that he will be taking a medical leave of absence for his cancer related illness. Analysts also predict that this momentum will sustain Apple’s growth and share price throughout the next 12 months.

Sobering sports statistic

While we all may think that we drink responsibly while cheering on our favourite sporting teams, this may not be true according to a new study published in the medical journal Alcoholism. The research, which used breath tests from 362 attendees of 13 baseball and 3 football games, found that 40 percent had been drinking. Another interesting statistic showed that one in 10 stadium attendees leave the event above the legal limit. Not that us sports fans did not already know that.

Las Vegas loses its crown

What was once thought of as the go-to place in the world for gambling has been overtaken by a new sin city. However this one just happens to be located in Macau, China and it has overtaken Las Vegas in capital for bond performance.

Basically, more people are heading to Communist China to gamble, and before you laugh at how contradictory that is consider this: Macau’s casino revenue for one month was the equivalent of half the earnings in Las Vegas for 2010.

Good news for Hamilton

Just when you thought that all hope was lost for Hamilton’s steel industry it has garnered enough breath for one more kick at the bucket.

ArcelorMittal has pledged to invest 253 million over the next two years to increase production and energy efficiency at its Stelco location.

This move will continue production of a special galvanized steel and retain jobs for years to come.

PC on the decline?

A report released by Deloitte on annual sales has forecasted that in 2011 smartphones and tablets will outsell the PC. The numbers predict that 425 million smartphones and tablets will be sold versus 400 million personal computers. While this may not mean the complete death of the PC, it will definitely start to see a decline with the introduction and usage of these newer personal devices.

The Westdale Cafe has taken a student-centric approach in catering to the needs of the community.

SANTINO MARINUCCI

ASSISTANT BUSINESS EDITOR

If you have not already heard of the Westdale Café, then you probably spend no time in the downtown of Westdale or just plain don’t like coffee. For those who have not heard of this coffee shop, it is the ultra-modern storefront that opened last year right on King Street.

In this segment of our exploration through Westdale’s plethora of small businesses we will see how this business came to fruition and why they are worth your business.

I had the pleasure of talking to Britney Guerin, who is the Manager of the Westdale Café to see what their business was all about, and their rocky start to their positive revival as one of the places to go in the town.

When asked about why they chose Westdale to start up their business Britney Guerin explained that “the logistics behind expanding into the Westdale area was that it is the place to be and they want to help turn it into the next Yorkville.

“We were told that this is a great

area to help break into the student demographic because it is a heavily populated student area and has increased foot traffic and coffee is up and trendy at this moment.”

When asked if their sales are comparable to the other coffee shops in the area like Second Cup and My Dog Joe, she explained that Westdale Café does have aspects of their business that separate them from the competition, like Second Cup and Starbucks.

“We are a different form of competitor when comparing to someone like Starbucks and Second Cup, this is because they are button pushers and not Baristas. Not to put down their business or their way of business, but we use different techniques and more manpower than button pushing.”

She also explained that when one places more mental capacity into coffee making, there is a greater love for the work done, and therefore a better product is made.

Britney said that it was this that set them apart from Baristas who are simply “button pushers.”

In addition to this she mentioned that due to restructuring

and a more student-centric agenda, the coffee shop is becoming more a part of the neighbourhood.

“Our sales numbers are increasing; we have only been here about a year and since I have been here sales have been going up day-byday and week-by-week.”

Along with the increasing sales numbers, Britney said that they will be targeting students on a more personal level by making their brand more known to first and upper year students.

This will be done by competing more closely with local coffee shops and aligning their business plan with the needs of the students.

However, one thing that many people from Westdale don’t know is that the Westdale Café is part of a larger conglomerate called the Integra Corporation which is an investment firm and the store is run by Coffee Investments Inc. who funds the Café.

This does not mean that they are a chain; it means that they are funded corporately but all business and management is done on the storefront level. This means that it is different from a Starbucks or

CHRISTOPHER CHANG / SENIOR PHOTO EDITOR

a Tim Hortons because it does not have the feel of a corporately run business.

When I asked whether this hinders the decisions or management styles on the storefront, which would ultimately affect the customers, Britney explained “because we are not part of a corporate chain we have more flexibility with the public instead of following a corporate standard and doing what every store wants.”

At the end of the day Westdale Café is here to stay and here to serve the thousands of students who grace the sidewalks of Westdale every single day.

Sometimes people only go with what they know, in terms of restaurants, bars, and coffee shops that they like.

But you never would have found those places without that sense of adventure you get from finding your own little gem.

Do yourself a favour and try out the Westdale Café. Take it from a student, you will not be disappointed.

THE SILHOUETTE • C9

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

School Funds

The higher cost of education SANTINO MARINUCCI

ASSISTANT BUSINESS EDITOR

Textbooks are the vital tool for all university and college students who are seeking higher education and want to expand their minds.

However, as many students already know, these costs are constantly rising every year for every faculty and are showing no signs of going down.

So why are they so expensive? Why would our university do this to their valued customers? Well, with the ever-increasing publishing costs, our university bookstores have to constantly increase the prices on textbooks, which in turn makes them look like the bad guys.

As a student who is constantly burned by the ludicrous prices of textbooks, I felt that it would be fitting to do a little investigative work into which faculties are paying the most for their courseware and texts and which faculties are getting off the hook.

My journey began at the Tank, a true labyrinth of books lining the walls almost mocking you with how much this dark pit will siphon from your coffers.

Before I knew it I was staring down the Engineering section and its gloriously long and complicated textbooks. This faculty most definitely takes the title of most expensive by sheer volume and price.

What is the most expensive textbook you can buy in the faculty of Engineering you say? Well in the Tank, the priciest book that I found was ENGIN-2MM3, Electrical Power and Controls by Rizzoni.

This text, which may sound fascinating, will run you $210.95 for one textbook.

As expensive as these may sound, Engineering as a collective is the most expensive as well. From the books that I saw there were few that fell under the $130 price range, and when you multiply this by five or six courses a semester, then this will cost you a fortune.

With the most expensive faculty out of the way, I feel that it is only fitting to explore the cheapest faculty in terms of textbooks on campus. Which faculty is this you say? Well after some looking around and talking to my fellow academics I found that the Multimedia faculty seems to have the cheapest textbooks.

The prices on these text-

books were enough to make a grown Engineering student cry. Why is this you say? Well, the most expensive textbook that you can grab starts at $51.95, which is Audio Postproduction for Film and Video.

If you can believe it or not, the average price you pay for each course hovers around $30. Not to be jealous or anything, but this is a pretty sweet deal.

This list may not be as comprehensive as other faculties may think, so here are a few honourable mentions that make the list which also plunder our booty.

These would be the faculty of Business and the faculty of Health Sciences which by no means are given an easy time when buying books.

In Business I found a wonderful deal on an International Business textbook for $192.75 and in Health Sciences a first-year chemistry textbook will cost you 188.95 clams.

Needless to say, you are going to get hosed no matter what faculty you are in for you’re textbooks, but it is always encouraged to find the better deal because chances are you’re not going to find it in your local bookstore.

TYLER HAYWARD / SILHOUETTE STAFF

Prizes to be won!

Do you dream of dividends?

Enter the Silhouette Stock Challenge!

It is pretty easy to sign up, just follow these simple steps and you’re on your way to making cold, hard, fictional cash.

Go to the website:

www.wallstreetsurvivor.com/Public/Members/Register.aspx?partnerTournamentid=4835

Fill out your personal information in the boxes provided; chose Canada as your country and Hamilton as your city.

You must register with a valid McMaster email address and handle.

You must enter ‘mcmaster11’ as the promote code. Otherwise you will not be able to compete.

You will then be sent an email confirmation. Follow the instructions to confirm your registration.

From here you can start trading and be one step closer to smelling some prize money.

Bear:

Goldman Sachs

(NYSE:GS)

There are many theories on how best to motivate your employees. Some believe that you should make them feel like they are important members of a well-oiled team.

Others, like Goldman Sachs, believe that when the going gets tough, the employees pay must go. GS reported US$2.23 billion, a 53 per cent pull back from last year’s Q4.

As a result, the company announced that they would pay their employees less this upcoming year. Look for sad faces dotting the Wall Street landscape in 2011.

Questions? Email business@thesil.ca

Bull:

EBay Inc.

(NASDAQ:EBAY) Pop Quiz: If your spouse is an investor, you probably got your Christmas gifts from: a) A dumpster b) A store that specializes in Native African Art, or c) eBay. Answer: c) eBay reported a very lucrative fourth quarter as revenue rose five per cent to $2.5 billion. Excluding last year’s sale of Skype, this is better than last season. With this success in mind, look out for second hand gifts from the online auction giant this Valentine’s Day.

C10 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

Charity drive kicks off MARS apprentice SIMON GRANAT BUSINESS EDITOR

Second semester is now in full swing and MARS Apprentice, the DeGroote School of Business’ most prestigious student-advertising competition, is back for its seventh year. Another year means that 12 students get a fresh kick at the can.

The MARS Apprentice competition is a six-week long competition that pits two teams of six students against one another.

The teams compete on a week-byweek basis in various real life ad-

vertising competitions sponsored by big name corporations. This year’s sponsors are Johnson and Johnson, Jan Kelly Marketing, Pepsi Co., Canadian Tire, Rosewood Estates and Sears.

The first competition has asked the two student teams to raise $750,000 each for a combined total of $1.5 million in a week between Jan. 21 and Jan 28. The money will be donated to the expansion of the Ronald McDonald House across the street from McMaster University on the corner of Cootes Drive and Main Street West. The two teams compet-

ing this year are Infinity Corp. and Industria. Infinity Corp’s strategy is to place drop boxes around various campus locations. These drop boxes will be placed at the Union Market, Compass, the Underground, 1280 and the House of Games. Here students can donate any money they may have to help the construction.

“We’re hoping to get the workers involved at Compass and the Union Market to round up to that extra dollar. It’s been effective at Titles; we’re hoping that because [the charity is] so close to home, because it’s local, that people may

possibly have experience with the brand, and hoping that it will hit close to home,” said Emily Dunphy a member of team Infinity Corp.

In addition to the drop boxes, Infinity Corp plans to use private donations from the community to try to reach the $750,000 total.

“We’re not expecting the full $750,000 from the box campaign but we’re hoping that the students will contribute a sizable donation. We’ve had a lot of different estimates from other groups, to see what we can expect and they have

The ABC’s of investing SIMON GRANAT BUSINESS EDITOR

Mutual Funds

Mutual funds are another kind of long-term investment, but they do offer some measure of flexibility. Imagine that you and every-

World Markets Macedonia

It is difficult to be a want-to-be young investor. If you’re not a student in commerce or economics, then there’s a good chance that numbers give you nightmares, and let’s not even talk about words like bonds, shares, or options. Have no fear; in actuality it isn’t hard to invest. It just takes some money, a little risk, some easily explained know how, and time.

Generally speaking there are three types of investment categories that anyone can invest in, bonds, mutual funds and equities.

Each has its pros and cons, but if managed correctly, all can contribute to a healthy and happy portfolio.

The following is an easy guide to those three types of investments.

Bonds

For the purposes of this article, bonds are fixed income investments, free from the ebb and flow of the market. Fixed term and fixed income bonds may be the best option for novice investors. Simply put, bonds are issued debt by the government. When you purchase a bond you buy two things, a time and a set interest rate. The time is often measured in years, but if you invest more money it can be months or even days.

Genuine Investment Certificates, or GICs, are the same type of investment with the only difference being that they are offered by a bank instead of by a government.

Bonds and GICs are good for the novice investor, who may not have much money to invest and wants to minimize risk. A three year Canadian Savings Bond gave 1.1 per cent the first year, 1.4 per cent the second and 1.7 per cent the third.

Often, GICs offer a slightly higher yield. Since investors are guaranteed a rate of return, these are very stable investments, but as the Bank of Canada depresses the interest rate, bonds and GICs will continue to offer dismally small yields.

While some bonds and GICs offer liquidity, the return is usually so low that it is not worth the effort. For some, fixed Bonds and GICs — where your money is locked in — are sometimes not preferable to young investors. GICs and bonds are both sold by your bank, so check out their rates and shop around for the best one you can find.

them all over the place. Having the boxes across campus will provide us [with] an extra edge,” Dunphy said

Although the MARS Apprentice first event has begun, an opening ceremony will be held on Jan. 24 at 5:00 pm in CIBC Hall.

General admission will cost $15, students will be charged $10 and tickets for members of the DeGroote Marketing Association are $8. Tickets can be purchased in the lobby of the DeGroote School of Business.

Since many follow the economics of The Republic of Macedonia with a fine toothed comb it may spark one’s interest to know about their recent financial troubles. The financially unstable country has recently received a two-year $476 million contingent loan from the International Monetary Fund. This is the first time this type of contingency credit line has been used by the IMF to help with staggering economies.

I’m sure what won’t be different is the ability to pay the loan back.

Japan

Apparently women in Japan have reduced the number of “secret savings” which are hidden from their husbands. This number fell 18 per cent due to slumping average incomes within the island nation.

Higher energy bills and an 18 per cent spike in vegetable prices have spurred this emptying of the pockets. Despite the fact that Japanese women pack away large enough sums of money to pay for large expenses, this seems like a natural reaction to a national economic problem.

Do Your Part CHRISTOPHER CHANG / SENIOR PHOTO EDITOR

Finding the right investment strategy can leave you richer, happier and more sane. one at your work decided to pool your money and buy some stocks.

The people at your work decide it’s best if one person manages what stocks to buy.

A mutual fund works like this. You buy units of the particular fund from a financial institution and they manage it for you.

There are quite a few upsides to mutual funds. First of all, there are plenty to choose from.

Also, they are somewhat flexible and one can invest a fairly minimal amount to start off. Also, if you choose wisely, some can be fairly profitable, especially over the long term.

On the other hand, even though they are more flexible than bonds, your institution will expect you to keep your money in as a medium to long-term investment. If you have an issue, chances are your bank will let you change the fund,

but they won’t want you to change funds too frequently.

With mutual funds it is very important to buy them from a reputable financial institution. As a rule of thumb, stick with the big five banks.

Equities

This is what puts the stock in stock market. By equities I mean shares bought and sold in a public company on a major market like the Toronto Stock Exchange, the New York Stock Exchange or the NASDAQ. There are a multitude of companies available from a wide range of sectors.

The upside to this approach is that if you get it right, you can really make some money.

For instance, companies like Yellow Pages Inc. offers a 12.24 per cent dividend.

For novice investors there

can be quite a few downsides to buying into the market directly. It can be quite expensive before you see any sizable return, and it is high risk since there is no one managing the investment for you.

Often, buying into the market comes with a myriad of fees. For instance, RBC offers a Direct Investment program. In this, you are able to buy and sell stocks online. You will still be charged for the transaction.

Stock brokers are available to help you buy and sell shares, manage your money and plan your portfolio. Most stock brokers can be found through brokerage firms, or through any of the big five banks.

And finally, if you want to keep clear of the next Ponzi scheme, make sure that your stock broker is registered with the Investment Industry Regulatory Organization of Canada.

For the economic recovery Write for business, meetings Tuesdays at noon in MUSC B110

THE SILHOUETTE • C11

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2011

Mid-Week Market Summary

Target hits bullseye with Zellers

World Equities

The world’s major equity indices ended last week on a positive note, with Japan’s Nikkei 225 Index and the Mexican Bolsa Index the only losers, having fallen 0.11 and 1 per cent, respectively. The week’s leaders were Germany’s DAX Index and Hong Kong’s Hang Seng Index, which rose an impressive 3.19 and 3.21 per cent, respectively.

North American Markets

North American markets were given a boost late in the week on earnings from US financial powerhouse JPMorgan Chase, whose earnings exceeded analysts’ expectations by an impressive 12.1 per cent on reduced loan loss provisions-signs of an improving American and world economy.

China

In China, the central government raised the country’s bank reserve requirement ratio in another attempt to cool domestic asset bubbles. This had the effect of giving markets a minor boost, as most traders had priced in a more significant interest rate hike that failed to materialize.

Sweet Crude

Crude oil futures hit a 52-week high of US$91.86 per barrel on Wednesday, Jan 12, while gold failed to regain the year’s previous highs, slipping down to US$1359 per troy ounce as of close on Friday, Jan 14.

Canadian Growth

Economists expect a slower growth in the Canadian economy, as suggested by declines in International Securities Transactions, and smaller increases in measures of both manufacturing and retail activity.

SILHOUETTE STOCK PHOTO/ THE SILHOUETTE

Target’s purchase of the majority of Zellers franchises could mean the HBC has the best spreadsheet in decades.

KATHRYN DEVEAU THE SILHOUETTE

On Jan 13, it was announced that the Target Corporation (NYSE:TGT) will buy the leases to 220 Zellers locations from the Hudson’s Bay Company subsidiary for US$1.8 billion. This will increase Target’s 1,752 stores by 8 per cent and will mark the first international venture for the company.

Zellers has been a part of HBC since 1978 when it originally made a bid to acquire the iconic company. HBC management saw the potential in Zellers, and bought the discount retailer instead.

In 2008, HBC was bought by the American private equity firm NRDC Equity Partners, which is run by Richard Baker. NRDC paid roughly US$1.1 billion for HBC at

the time. The majority of Zellers locations bring in positive cash flow, yet the sale of Zellers puts HBC in its best financial position since its founding in 1670.

This new financial position will allow for HBC to focus more on its other brands, including The Bay and Home Outfitters. HBC will continue to retain ownership of the remaining 59 Zellers locations that will not be sold to the Zellers Corporation and will likely continue to operate them in certain communities in Canada.

NRDC also has speculative plans to turn HBC into a public company with an initial public offering.

Target has been looking into expanding into the Canadian market for years. Talks between

the two companies reportedly began months ago, and this acquisition represents a race won by Target in gaining access to international markets outside of the United States.

The firm’s primary international strategy included the purchase of Zellers in order to open Canadian stores more quickly versus building from scratch.

Canada marks the first international landscape the company has ventured into.

Target will own 220 Zellers locations, of which the company plans to convert up to 150 of them into Target stores.

The remaining stores that will not be turned into Targets and will likely be changed into other retail locations operated by the company, or else sold.

Potential renovations will

cost the American company up to $1 billion. This is in addition to the two cash payments of US$912.5 million the company will hand over to HBC in May and September of 2011 for the leasehold interests.

The coming months will see which Zellers locations will be targeting to change, although they will likely only begin to appear in 2013.

By the end of the week of Jan. 9, the company is trading at roughly US$55 per common share.

This represents a US$0.35 drop in share prices from the previous day’s close when the acquisition was first made public.

This further represents a drop of almost US$6 from the beginning of the new year when the company was trading at a 52-week high.

C12 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 21, 2010

best of 2010 vo.2 blue valentine • nash the slash • the sadies

andex

thursday, january 20, 2011

Senior Editor: Roxanne Hathway-Baxter Entertainment Editor: Myles Herod Music Editor: Dan Hawie Contributors: Josh Parsons, Colin Leggett, Alex Boudreau, Chris Hoy, Trevor Roach, Catherine Brasch, Michael Hewak, Derek Hung, Chris Erl, Peter Goffin, Jonathon Fairclough

Cover: Christopher Chang

in the hammer jan.20

Michou Absinthe 9:00 p.m.

jan.22

The Sadies The Casbah 9:00 p.m.

jan.22

Nash The Slash This Ain’t Hollywood 8:00 p.m.

jan.24

Finger Eleven Hamilton Place Studio 7:30 p.m.

jan.27

The Golden Dogs The Casbah 8:00 p.m.

jan.28

The Orphans This Ain’t Hollywood 9:00 p.m.

jan.29

Das Racist This Ain’t Hollywood 9:00 p.m.

feb.3

music

Run With The Kittens Corktown Pub 8:00 p.m.

feb.7

cup 2010 mtl, the so many good old days, huron repeat, randy newman, pall malls, hyatt bathrooms, schwartz’s, avenue du parc, pink eye, sheyener, cabaret du mille end, brothers and sisters, molson 4T, nebuchonodonzar, the “fireman” lift, scenic train rides, HAF ‘zeen, dweebs, jerkz, andy “yarp” dufresne, hot fuzz, “actually”

this week

Jim Bryson & The Weakerthans The Casbah 8:00 p.m.

film opening

now

andy’s ticks

No Strings Attached The Way Back The Company Men

the right thing is to write things

preferably in this publication

meetings are held on mondays at 2:00pm in musc b110 e-mail your submissions to andy@thesil.ca

Inflatophilia: Depending on the inflatee, this sexual phobia caters to one’s personal attraction to inflatable animals, toys, or simply being aroused from people inflating like balloons. Yes. musc b110.

column

thursday, january 20, 2011

f.u.b.a.r.

I spend several hours a week picking over the most minute details and symbolism of century old books. I guess I’m editorial column an adult, but maybe I’m roxanne hathway-baxter not meant for it because whenever life gets too It seems to be a recurring realization stressful all I want to do in my life that time is moving far too is climb back up onto the couch quickly. The class that would never that was too high for my feet to end ended two years ago, and now touch the floor, open up a juicebox I find myself in my final (finger’s and watch a cartoon. crossed) semester of my undergrad Not to be an utter curand, somehow, very close to the real mudgeon, rooted in a childhood world and that much closer to be- that I’ve barely left, but the shows ing a full-blown adult. I remember when people my age were kids seem how impossibly old the grade fives so much better than a lot of the looked to me when I was in grade shows on the air today. They were one, and my idea of a university better because they weren’t always student didn’t differ much from polished, or have the flashy animathe way I viewed my parents. Adults tion that many shows today have. If were adults, walking around in anyone remembers Today’s Special, cable knit sweaters and glasses talk- you’ll have an idea what I’m talking ing about books. Meanwhile, I sat about. around watching my juvenile shows This Canadian show, on TVO and YTV desperately long- filmed in Toronto, ran from 1982 ing to be mature. to 1987 on TVO with reruns air The years rolled on and ing for many years after. The show now I’m on my way to the adult was centered on a department store that the six-year-old me imagined mannequin that came to life after I would be. I have the oversized the store closed. The digital effects sweaters that have come back into were exactly what you would expect style, a pair of nuisance glasses, and from the 1980s and I’m not going

the silhouette’s art & culture magazine • D3

to say it wasn’t the least creepy show on the air, but it was awesome. Jeff the mannequin learned some damn useful lessons, they weren’t incredibly deep or anything, but they were useful. It didn’t try too hard, the things Jeff learned could be summed up in one word, like “fun” or “police.”

Hm, I can’t remember nor imagine why a mannequin would need to learn about police, but I assume the department store got broken into and the premise of that episode wasn’t about Jeff’s crippling drug addiction. It was the 1980s, maybe he took a sojourn to Studio 54 and went wild for an evening with Jodie and the security puppet, Sam. You know what, no, let’s go with the department store burglary idea.

Now I look at shows like Hannah Montana or Jonas Brothers: Living the Dream and I get upset. I’d weep for the future if I wanted to be so dramatic. But seriously, they’re too professional, they’re too flashy and they seem so terribly uncreative. The kids in the shows don’t look like goofy kids, they look like little adults, abjectly sexualized and pushing kids to grow up faster than they’re going to already.

the big tickle

They don’t need to be eased into the world of sitcoms and reality television. Look at the YTV show Ghost Trackers; the description itself states that it, “Pits kids against each other to become the ultimate Ghost Tracker.” Pits kids against each other? Yeah, that seems pretty reasonable.

Give me back Are You Afraid of the Dark? That show scared my pants off week after week and brought me closer to my peers who would protect me from the Ghastly Grinner and Quiet Librarian rather than turning me against fellow eight-year-olds to become the best ghost tracker in the under a-decadeold category. If kids are going to be pitted against each other they should at least get to do ridiculous challenges and get soaked in goo when they lose. I’m still bitter I never got to be on Uh-Oh!

These kids today watching their shows with grown-up looking characters and playing with their recently acquired iTouchs are going to be executives while I’m still laughing at fart jokes. Kids! Go drink a juicebox and watch an episode of Magic School Bus. Don’t bother playing outside, though. That’s just too retro.

andy’s picks

1. Big City Slang Ben Somer 2. Stoned Soul Picnic Laura Nyro 3. Station to Station David Bowie 4. Cut Corners The Sadies 5. All Die Young Smith Westerns 6. And This Is What We Call Progress The Besnard Lakes 7. My Old Man Joni Mitchell 8. Soma The Strokes 9. You’ve Got A Friend In Me Randy Newman

what was your favourite kids’ show?

compiled by christopher chang & roxanne hathway-baxter

“kratts’ creatures”

lauren morley

“arthur”

“hey arnold!” jeff mclay

“pinky and the brain” niraj patel

eric ojero

“arthur” christine greenaway

D4 • the silhouette’s art + culture magazine

film

thursday, january 20, 2011

everybody hurts gosling and williams command the screen in this captivating break-up tale

Blue Valentine Directed by: Derek Cianfrance Starring: Ryan Gosling, Michelle Williams

HHHHH The depiction of romantic partnership has always been a popular theme in motion pictures. One only has to recall When Harry Met Sally, 500 Days of Summer, or Woody Allen’s Annie Hall to get the idea.

True, lighthearted comedies tend to dominate the realm of cinematic courtships, but that’s because they’re commercially viable investments.

It takes confidence for a studio to back a project that veers the other way, realistically depicting the beauty and plight of a marital union, both in its affectionate beginnings and bitter ends.

If there ever was a film to take that approach and push it to the brink, Blue Valentine is it. Director Derek Cianfrance not only constructs a complex portrait of his film’s two main characters, but also examines intimacy from every angle.

The story of Dean (Ryan Gosling) and Cindy (Michelle Williams) jumps back and forth in a non-linear fashion, matching shots that reveal the first flourish of romance and the final attempts at salvation.

It opens in the present as Gosling’s

Dean, disheveled and aged, tends to his daughter with unconditional love. To his working wife, he remains coarse and juvenile.

The film periodically cuts back to him as a twenty-something furniture mover, depicting his more compassionate side as he redecorates a sickly old man’s room and charms his way into Cindy’s heart.

The juxtaposition of these earlier scenes with the present helps establish his persona, making it impossible to have an entirely negative perception of Dean.

In comparing these moments, there is a tragic sense that he was once a talented young man who never grew to confront life’s demanding responsibilities.

As an older adult, Dean simply seems content as a house painter while his wife supports the family as a medical assistant. In his depiction of a dysfunctional individual, Gosling is real, flawed, and unforgettable.

Impressively, Williams’ Cindy is given equal exposure within the narrative. It is hinted that as a result of her ill-tempered father and restrictive adolescence, she clings to men, eventually finding Dean and using him as an escape.

She, too, holds troubling secrets that imbue her character with depth and believability.

Both of the main characters’ vulnerabilities, hopes, and frustrations

are played out with courageous strength, translating into work that is simply mesmerizing.

Williams and Gosling are so natural, so astounding, you’d be hard pressed to find better acting from 2010.

When watching Blue Valentine, I was reminded of the work of John Cassavetes, whose most accomplished films of the ’60s and ’70s were noted for their groundbreaking use of improvisation and realist tendencies.

Cianfrance’s direction is on the same wavelength, employing minimalism to match his real-world story.

Using predominately hand-held cameras, he accentuates the unremarkable nature of his characters and their basic lives into a riveting experience of spontaneity, allowing his cast to explore their souls on screen.

Although it may perplex some, the way the film shifts from one timeline to another is effective in its own jarring way.

Flashbacks are not accompanied by abrasive cuts, but by uncomplicated edits and the skillful contrast of scenes, which, especially towards the end, results in some incredibly moving moments of both marriage and break-up.

If there’s one aspect of Blue Valentine that didn’t work though, it’s that it gets too caught up in its emotion in instances, obscuring the realities of what should really

be taking top priority. Instead of resorting to spurts of violence, it should have toned down its anger and thought things out a little clearly.

Even though the director provides no answers as to who is right or wrong, most people will probably decide for themselves based on their prejudices.

The film, which was first issued an NC-17 rating due to a scene involving oral sex, is mature about its subject matter and not pornographic by any means.

It faces love with honesty and guilt, making it harder, perhaps, for some to stomach than even today’s most explicit horror films. For instance, when Cindy repeats, “I’m done,” after one last attempt to reignite their empty marriage, one can’t help but feel winded.

Blue Valentine is an exceptional film that everyone should see, but many will avoid. Few pictures depict the unraveling of a marriage with equal parts sorrow and insight as this one does.

As life goes on, one is left with a parting thought that remains quietly disheartening and true to the film’s tragic design: a heartbroken daughter who may or may not be Dean’s child.

•

Myles Herod

music

thursday, january 20, 2011

national treasure andy chats with canadian experimental veteran nash the slash about current plans Remember that dusty bin of vinyl that’s been collecting mold in the crawlspace of your parents’ place? Do yourself a favour and flip through it sometime. Just behind the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack you may be lucky enough to find a piece of independent Canadian music history: music by the enigmatic cult hero Nash the Slash.

Nash the Slash is a bandagemasked performer who became legendary across Canada in the early 1980s for his novel blend of performance art and live music. His inimitable sound is created using a sophisticated arsenal of electronic sound devices that he accompanies with an electric mandolin or violin.

When I heard that he was bringing his one-man-sideshow to Hamilton this past weekend, I leapt at the opportunity to conduct an interview with the mysterious masked man. Nash the Slash has an eclectic collection of interests that inspire his music, evident in the fact that his name is taken from a Laurel and Hardy silent film.

“My background is in classical music but I soon started to rock-out on the violin in my teens,” he explained in an interview with ANDY. “I certainly enjoy every type of music and many silent films as well.

The things I enjoy musically and creatively I try to bring together into my own performance.”

He continued to list several direct influences. “The bands from the ’70s that inspired me were a lot of German bands, music referred to as Kraut-rock. Bands like Neu!, Michael Rother and Kraftwerk, of course. Most of the early electronic music came from Germany and Europe at the time. They certainly inspired me to make electronic noise.”

Although these days Nash is content relaxing in Southern Ontario for the most part, relentless touring throughout the ’70s and ’80s has left him with pockets of fandom all across the globe. “There are fans right across Canada. Also, judging by my website, a lot of interest is still coming from the States. Five or six years ago I even played an avant-garde music festival in Russia,” he explained.

Nash himself admits that a considerable amount of his fame is owed to

his long-term musical relationship with Gary Numan, an ’80s synth-pop virtuoso. “[Gary’s] influence is significant, especially in England. Thirty years ago I opened for him on the North American and UK tours.

I played at what he called, at the time, his farewell show in Wembley arena,” he laughed.

“His audience at the time were in their mid-teens and are still die-hard Nash fans.” Nash recently reunited with Numan for a one-off gig this past October.

Besides his work with Gary Numan, the most striking aspect of Nash’s worldwide fame is his adherence to doit-yourself ideals. The vast majority of his music is written, recorded and produced by Nash and released through his own label, Cut-Throat Records. With this in mind, I had to ask Nash’s opinion on the options available today for musicians taking the independent route.

“I think more and more people are doing it A) because they can and B) because if you’re doing interesting and original music, why sell yourself out to a record company who will expect you to write pop songs?”

He continued, “I think with technology today individuality can be utilized.

When I was doing it 30 years ago I figured that no body wanted to put out my music so I went ahead and put out my own vinyl.

Today anybody can do their own music and post it on iTunes or YouTube and proceed that way.”

But Nash refuses to let his legacy fade in the vast ocean of contemporary music and still avidly gigs across Southern Ontario. He continues to be active in writing and recording as well.

“I’ve got new music in the can,” he explained. “I’ll be putting out a new CD of material this summer. What I will be doing in Hamilton will be my rock set and there will be some new and exciting visuals to go along with it. I think people are gonna rock out.”

Nash the Slash will be performing in Hamilton on Jan. 22 at This Ain’t Hollywood •

Josh Parsons

the silhouette’s art & culture magazine • D5

feature

D6 • the silhouette’s art & culture magazine

the films

thursday, january 20, 2011 • D7

the music

Welcome to the second and final week of ANDY’s top 10 of 2010, where our list of music and films finalize the best of the past year.

We hope you’ve enjoyed the ride and agree with our top choices. If not, we have very little sympathy and dare you to do something about it. Until then, relish in our wide-ranging fifth to first place picks of 2010.

We thank you for your time and dedication as an ANDY reader.

Friendos, we love you a little bit too much.

The Tallest Man on Earth

Joanna Newsom

The Black Keys

Deerhunter

Arcade Fire

5. Toy Story 3

4. Blue Valentine

3. The Social Network

2. Inception

1. Exit Through the Gift Shop

5. The Wild Hunt

4. Have One On Me

3. Brothers

2. Halcyon Digest

1. The Suburbs

With its recent Golden Globe win among many other accolades, the Pixar train of animated brilliance continues with its third instalment to the Toy Story series. Where earlier predecessors whisked audiences of all ages into the slapstick adventures of plastic pals Woody (Tom Hanks) and Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen) amongst an array of colourful companions, Toy Story 3 distinguishes itself as an emotionally reflective piece on the sincerity of companionship, and the poignant realities that can sometimes erode it with age. This time around, owner Andy (John Morris) is en route to college, and faces the existential reality of parting with his beloved playthings while coming to terms with adulthood.

And the toys face the same plight too.

Beautifully constructed sequences capturing their perils and escapades in the companioned pursuit of avoiding near-extinction reveal a film that’s just as hearttugging as it is visually dazzling (and amplified in 3D). Never has the genuineness behind the film’s classic jingle, “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” resonated more as a truthteller to the bond of camaraderie.

• Dan Hawie

Emotionally raw and surprisingly sweet, Derek Cianfrance’s Blue Valentine is an honest examination of a relationship from beginning to end. Dean (Ryan Gosling) and Cindy (Michelle Williams) portray the film’s central characters as a married couple whose love for one another has corroded beyond repair. Structured in non-linear way that shifts through the years, we account with unflinching realism the progression and detours of life’s messy truths. With muted colours and tight close-ups, it distinguishes itself through juxtaposition, showing both leads as young and old. It is a powerful technique of contrast that enriches the depths of these flawed individuals into aching honesty. While numerous films have been made on this subject, Blue Valentine achieves a quiet brilliance, creating scenes of humour and love just as effortlessly as its confrontational demonstrations of language, sex, and martial disintegration. You may be turned away by the subject matter, but you can’t deny its candid potency once you’ve seen it. Ryan Gosling and Michelle William’s performances will break your heart.

• Myles Herod

In the opening scene of The Social Network, Mark Zuckerberg’s girlfriend tells him “I think we should just be friends,” to which he irately deadpans “I don’t want friends.” Whether intentionally or not, Zuckerberg gets his wish. With meticulous direction by psychological thriller auteur David Fincher (Fight Club), The Social Network tells the likely sensationalized but highly engrossing story of Facebook’s evolution from college prank to social media titan. The script, penned by the brilliant Aaron Sorkin (The West Wing), moves at a dizzying pace — perhaps deliberately so, to cater to a generation whose breadth of emotions are routinely summed up in 140 characters or less. Starting off as something of an underdog story, the film descends into a game of antagonist versus antagonist. While tension escalates to the breaking point between the idealistic Zuckerberg and his profitconcious business partner Eduardo Saverin, their creation brings out the vindictive side in them both.

By the end, you’re not sure who you’re cheering for, but hell if it wasn’t a rollercoaster of a ride.

• Michael Hewak

It’s not often that a film explores an aspect of everyday life in a way that is completely unique. Sure, dreams have been at the centre of many popular and successful films in the past, but nothing quite compares to the depth and the quality of Christopher Nolan’s Inception. Based on the writerdirector’s own personal dream experiences, Inception explores the concept of the subconscious in an ethereal yet believable joyride for the senses. With a star-studded cast including Leo DiCaprio, Ellen Paige, Joseph Gorden-Levitt, and Michael Caine, Nolan’s brainchild combination of special effects, subconscious navigation, and mind-bending plot turns deliver an immersive experience that must be watched and rewatched. Written over the span of a decade, Inception is arguably a more consistent effort than his previous achievement, The Dark Knight. Here is a cinematic adventure so audacious, so tense, and in the end, so gratifying, it becomes hypnotic. Expanding the realm of mainstream expectations, this film will remain a benchmark in action filmmaking for years to come.

• Jonathon Fairclough

What we have here is something truly special. A film so unpredictable, so fascinating, it transcends any preconception about documentaries, and turns it on its head. Exit Through the Gift Shop, directed by the mysterious artist Banksy, explores the subterranean world of graffiti by giving us unprecedented access to it. Centering on a Frenchman named Theirry Geutta, our protagonist videotapes every moment of life, earning the trust and respect of assorted street artists by documenting their work and nocturnal existence. Theirry himself is a larger-than-life figure, and when he (now calling himself Mr. Brainwash) becomes an overnight sensation through his own work, eclipsing that of even Banksy’s, we are left bewildered in his supposed real-life ascension to prominence. It’s truly an original experience that combines great art and nail biting moments into a delightful tale of commercialism and fame. Theirry allegedly exists and the film documents his arrival.

Then again, Banksy is credited as director, which suggests that it all may be a slyly constructed hoax.

Either way it’s brilliant.

• Myles Herod

While countless musicians these days can be found experimenting with an eclectic selection of technological innovations in feeble attempts to bring their music to a higher level of cultural status and appreciation, there is one man who stands tall above the overproduced posers in his unprecedented brilliance. Kristian Matsson, better known as The Tallest Man on Earth can be found doing what he does best on his second full length album, The Wild Hunt, as he reminds us of the beauty and perfection that can be attained within the simple seduction of a man and his guitar.

With a voice and lyrical persuasion reminiscent of Bob Dylan and a deliberate attention to the subtle nuances his instruments have to offer, Matsson entices the listener with a seemingly effortless flair.

The Wild Hunt is a terrifically transparent journey that gives the intimate illusion of individual interaction with heartfelt emotion.

Matsson expertly fills this album with his appropriated open chord progressions and distinguished vocal belts that only work within his limitless world of simple serenity.

What’s hotter than a girl with a guitar? A girl with a harp. After the release of 2006’s epic fairy tale, Ys, it was difficult to imagine Joanna Newsom ever outdoing herself — and yet retrospectively, it only appeared to be a stepping stone to the woodland saga that is Have One On Me. Whereas Ys was enigmatic in its layered complexity, Have One On Me is a stripped down record, giving extra weight to the elegant twisted squawk Newsom has become renowned for. She does away with the help of sweeping orchestral arrangements, instead weaving a tapestry of intimate baroque pop gems while relying almost entirely on the fluttering melodies generated by her own two hands and immaculately detailed lyrics.

Newsom’s elaborate fables conjure a mood so dense with ambience, it draws you in with a tightness that makes it impossible to listen to anything else. But when the music is this good, why would you want to?

Heavy-blues duo The Black Keys went wandering into the land of experimentation in 2010, and the result is the weird, wild mix of tracks on the genre-bending album Brothers. Though still showcasing the pulsing grit of the band’s earlier work, this collection introduces brand new sounds with surprising precision. From the undeniable funk grooves of “Sinister Kid” to the morose drone of “Too Afraid to Love You” to the sultry Latinish instrumentals of “Ten Cent Pistol”, it’s all very mixed up, but all expertly crafted, each track totally unique though completely fitting.

With songs like “Tighten Up” popping up on the soundtracks of videogames, TV shows, and car commercials, the smorgasbord that is Brothers is quickly carving out a place in the cultural consciousness.

That ubiquity is very unlike a bluesrock album, but so is Brothers.

There hasn’t been an album more deserving of its acclaim in a long time.

Essential track: “Have One On Me” • Michael Hewak

Essential track: “Next Girl” • Peter Goffin

Eerie and disjointed, full of shimmering guitars, fuzzy vocals and lots of echoing, Deerhunter’s Halcyon Digest feels like a long drive into the deep dark woods. The entire album almost resembles a soundscape to a mysterious, otherworldly environment. The opener “Earthquake” immediately drenches the listener in slow, washy guitars and hypnotic drum-machine beats that sets up the strangely nostalgic tone for the rest of the album.

Halycon Digest’s lyrics are cryptic.

Bradford Cox’s cries of “Freedom, silence, always, yeah / All these darkened hallways” seem to invite us into personal snippets of his brain. They verge on completely disorienting to the listener, but somehow enhance the extremely intimate feel of the album. By the time we arrive at the retrospective and spooky “Desire Lines” – arguably the album’s centerpiece, its haunting, driving guitar and drums aid the beautifully seductive vocals – we no longer care whether or not we get lost in its alluring haze.

There is something astonishingly unique about the Canadian people.

Above all our petty distinctions, we are storytellers, obsessed with the trivialities of our situation.

Trust the Arcade Fire, already an embodiment of that Canadian spirit, to take the concept to a new level. The Suburbs presents a stunningly vivid portrait of the monotony that envelops us as we go about our daily lives. Based on lead singer Win Butler’s experience growing up in Houston, the album is a familiar glimpse into the epic highs and stunning lows of youth and life in suburbia. Lines only mentioned in one song become the core of another, allusions to those endless fall days spent scaling dirt mounts and exploring shells of homes-to-be pepper every track and a subtle, but damning critique of the “culture of fear” that encapsulates the middle class exemplify The Suburbs, giving it an amazingly distinctive feel. With three Grammy nominations and accolades the world over, there is no doubt that The Suburbs will characterize our time.

Essential Track: “Love is All” • Trevor Roach

Essential track: “Desire Lines” • Derek Hung

Essential Track: “Wasted Hours” • Chris Erl

D8 • the silhouette’s art & culture magazine

feature

thursday, january 20, 2011

is rick a dick? gervais’s edgy golden globe speech has stirred up both controversy and praise Last Sunday, Ricky Gervais hosted the Golden Globe awards, and no star was spared from his vicious sense of humour. So of course now is the time when the members of the press ask, “Was mean old Ricky too hard on those poor celebrities?”

The short answer is no. The long answer is no, because even if a celebrity has their feelings hurt they can always dry their tears on their reusable cashmere facial tissues infused with aloe (that is if such a product exists, which in Hollywood, is almost a certainty).

So, what’s the problem? Ricky Gervais is a comedian; he goes for laughs. He doesn’t care about hurting people’s feelings or pushing the envelope, and guess what?

That’s why he has gotten this far, because he’s funny without compromising. Apparently the Golden Globe organizers didn’t learn from last year’s show, which was also hosted by Gervais.

He pulled many of the same verbal stunts that seem to have him in such hot water this year. At one point last year he used this introduction: “I enjoy a drink as much as the next man. Unless that next man is Mel Gibson,” at which point Mel Gibson walked on stage to present the next award. Now, that should have thrown up some red flags in terms of the kind of material Gervais likes to perform, but it seems that the organizers wanted to take a chance anyway.

Sunday’s show was much worse than last year’s, or much better, depending on how you look at it. No one was spared from Gervais’ acerbic wit and biting commentary.

One of his best gems was “It was a big year for 3-D movies. Toy Story, Despicable Me, Tron.

It seems like everything this year was threedimensional — except the characters in The Tourist.”

Now there is a well written perfectly delivered stab at a mediocre film that somehow managed to snag three Golden Globe nominations, but some people thought it might have been too harsh. Yeah, I’m sure Johnny Depp is going to cry himself to sleep over that one.

If reactions to awards show hosting can teach us anything about the world at large it is this: no one will ever be able to please 100 per cent of the people 100 per cent of the time. If a host is too raunchy or takes too many jabs, then they went too far and they should not present anymore.

Then again, if a presenter is very straightforward and keeps the humour respectful then … zzzzzzz … Sorry, dozed off there. The point is that no one ever seems to be happy with the performance of these comedians, actors, and sometimes musicians.

It’s always either too tame or too much.

Here’s the problem, though: celebrities, more than anyone, should be almost impervious to criticism. These are people whose DNA sells for thousands of dollars on eBay. People worship the ground they walk on. So why is it that when Ricky Gervais turns their pedestal into a chopping block, he’s suddenly an enemy of the entertainment industry? All he did was the same thing that critics do on a daily basis. He just had the balls to say it right to people’s faces. This man should not be vilified for being honest, nor should celebrities take Ricky Gervais too seriously.

Not everyone was put off by the British comedian’s humour. Fellow Brit Christian Bale commented, “That’s what comedy is supposed to be about. This guy’s a genius.” Likewise, legendary actor Al Pacino said “He’s a comic, so he’s going to go for it.

He’s letting it go. The only thing he can really get to is his own wit. You don’t know what they’re going to say! I think it’s worth it.”

There has been a rumour floating around that Ricky Gervais didn’t want to get invited back to host again. If that’s true, he certainly did his best to ensure that he won’t be allowed within 500 feet of any celebrity.

Then again, a little controversy never hurt the ratings.

Plus if they book someone more appropriately low key and respectful, we all know that every headline is just going to read “Was [insert name] too tame?”

• Colin Leggett

under the radar

thursday, january 20, 2011

off the web

damn you, auto correct! www.damnyouautocorrect.com A cell phone’s auto correct is designed to be helpful when texting but, as many people in our generation know, it often succeeds in being quite the opposite. This website compiles many examples of hilarious t9 errors that are all too familiar to the average texter.

the beat get your scene points!

third time’s the charm After a three-year break from project City and Colour, Alexisonfire guitarist/folk savant Dallas Green will be heading back to Hamilton’s own Catherine North Studios in the coming weeks to begin recording his third solo album. Though few details are known in terms of a tracklist or album title, Green promises to keep tween-fans up-to-speed by chronicling the recording process on a specially designed website which goes up Jan. 21.

Here’s hoping for some cameos by his wife Leah Miller...hanging in the studio.

the silhouette’s art & culture magazine • D9

awful fan art www.awfulfanart.com

jesus gets around www.jesusgetsaround.com

the worst thing i ever ate www.worstthingieverate.com

Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, right? Well, maybe if you’re good at it. There are some hideous and laugh-out-loud attempts at a variety of fan’s artistic renderings of their favourite celebrities on this website. If you remember Napoleon Dynamite’s portrait of his would-be girlfriend, Trisha, you’ll have an idea of what this fan art looks like. Don’t worry, Kim Kardashian, your five o’clock shadow isn’t nearly that bad.

He died for your sins, but now the Messiah is dying to be as many places as possible. Jesus is popping up everywhere: on shop windows, Pez dispensers, the backs of trucks. not in a Shroud-like way, mind you, but in a corporate way. Check this site out, you’ll be surprised at how Jesus really is everywhere.

There’s nothing worse than a food disappointment. You get all amped up to eat some delicious meal, you take the first bite, and it’s absolutely disgusting. Now the first thing you can do after you vomit from the terrible taste is take a picture of the abomination and post it on this website. Is it bad that some of the food actually looks kind of appealing to me?

regis retirin’ philbin

the end has no end

reunion from above!

After 28 years on his morning talk show, Regis Philbin announced this week that he will be retiring from the grind of interviewing celebrities and getting up for early morning makeup applications. Mr. Philbin, audiences are gonna miss your bizarrely perfect smile and witty repartee with Kelly Ripa. Now, here’s the million-dollar question. Retirement: is that your final answer?

More Strokes news, folks! The iconic garagerock quintet has provided more details on their forthcoming album, which is tentatively called Angles, and will round out to 10 songs with each member contributing to writing duties. Guitarist Albert Hammond Jr. also revealed that although the band plans to tour, they are only likely play a handful of dates in hopes of making a slow, albeit legendary, comeback. We’ll continue stroking ourselves for now until some music gets released.

Alright, so Coachella has just put out their list of acts performing at the legendary California-based festival this year, and though headlines have wanked the ultimate multistack of bands involved (as we have too), few have mentioned the reunion of Toronto’s own Death From Above 1979.

Yes, after years of parting towards separate artistic directions, the electro-noise duo of Sebastien Grainger and Jesse Keeler have made amends, perhaps for financial reasons, and will perform alongside the likes of Kanye West, The Strokes, Jimmy Eat World, and others. Stay tuned for news on a potential Wheatus comeback too.

the golden globes didn’t want you anyways After Ricky Gervais’s inflammatory monologue at the Golden Globes this past week, he has announced that he wouldn’t host the show again even if they asked him, which they probably weren’t going to. I can’t imagine that the celebrities he offended are ever going to recover from the biting comments that he hurled from behind the podium. Actually, they probably will. Did you know that $100 bills are the best at soaking up tears?

• Roxanne “No Life” Hathway-Baxter

a trip down mammary lane The wish that every desperate pre-teen boy has is going to be realized by the iPad. Yes, the iPad is soon going to get to see its first set of boobs. Hugh Hefner has announced that archived issues of Playboy will make their debut on the Apple technology. Be cautious now when you lurk over people’s shoulders in Starbucks. You might see more than a fashion blog or Pitchfork.

• Dan Hawie & Roxanne Hathway-Baxter

D10 • the silhouette’s art & culture magazine

music

thursday, january 20, 2011

long lost legacies is our generation lacking in musical powerhouses?

Since the demise of the now blurred vision of what once was considered the legacy group, music today has taken a rather dull take on what rock ’n’ roll once was. The ‘60s and ‘70s had a plethora of dynamic groups, revolutionizing and elevating the entire musical experience. Yet what is to be said about music today?

What once was an era of authentic, genuine inspiration has now transformed into an industry rather than an art. Who are the true and legitimate artists of today?

Justin Bieber? Miley Cyrus? Unfortunately, there is nothing positive to be said about the “popular” music that inspires the youth of today. Say goodbye to the days when music was a lifestyle and musicianship outweighed appearance. Hello to a profusion of dizzily draining tunes and overdone and unnecessary sex appeal in today’s artists.

Thankfully there are still a handful

of classic rock groups left. None, however, can compete to what they once were. Bands like Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Jimi Hendrix Experience and many more created some of the most iconic and remembered albums of all time. We were brilliantly brought into the world of their music, one that was just as fine-tuned and fresh as it was perfected.

Alternatively, many “legacy groups” of today, which once were at the forefront of success, have dimmed into obscurity with nothing to show for it. Bands like The Foo Fighters, and Green Day who once were lusty in success and completely relevant, have failed the test of time and hold little lasting longevity.

Yet, in the back shadow of musical success lay a few bands that, while not on the same level as past successors, have withstood the test of time and can proudly be labeled as the legacy bands of today. Legends like Pearl

Jam and U2 have been showcasing their innovative and reinventive styles while keeping it equally as relevant for decades. Their music is very much a wholesome depiction of easygoing, popular music today. Given the amount of time Pearl Jam and U2 have been playing together, they have done a phenomenal job at maintaining this near impossible status.

Fittingly so, there are some truly authentic groups in today’s music that haven’t fallen victim to the dreaded sellout. Ohio natives, The Black Keys have earned a heavy amount of admiration in the past year, including two Grammys and an MTV award for their fifth studio album, Brothers.

The gritty backdrop of their latest album is what makes The Black Keys so damn interesting. They manage to capture the finesse of old rock ’n’ roll while making relevant and original sounding tunes. Their coarse, bluesy rock and soulful grooves are

eminent in everything they do, placing The Black Keys at the forefront of new, elevating music.

Polished pros Vampire Weekend have recently skyrocketed to success while keeping their indie-pop roots alive and well.

With the success of their sophomore album, Contra, Vampire Weekend’s fresh and new sound shows promise for success. Although there are many bands worthy of admiration, mainstream and popular music today is as shallow and slathering as it has ever been.

Today we often forget the true genesis of the music that influences artists today, and what once was a feeling, a notion and often clichéd yet true, a movement, rock music has fizzled out to near non-existence. Sad to say, but there’s little to no legacy bands left to show for what was the decade of rock ’n’ roll.

•

Alex Boudreau

in stereo

thursday, january 20, 2011

the silhouette’s art & culture magazine • D11

featured review Cake Showroom of Compassion

HHHHH Cake as a food often varies in consistency. Cake as a band however has always counted on its consistency. Some might call it an inability to grow up. Others might call it an inability to compromise. Either way, it makes for a great sounding album.

Showroom of Compassion has all the elements of Cake’s classic alt rock sound, with a few tweaks here and there to update the sound. “Federal Funding” opens the album with an uncharacteristically dense and sludgy sound, but it all comes together with the same ingredients as any Cake song: John McCrea’s idiosyncratic talk-singing, heavy bass, and of course the ubiquitous trumpets. “Mustache Man (Wasted)” and “Sick of You” are classic Cake rockers, while “Bound Away” is reminiscent of songs like “Mexico” and “Stickshifts and Safetybelts.” It’s been seven long years since their last studio album, but unlike the food, this Cake hasn’t gone stale.

•

Colin Leggett

Autumn Portrait The Design is Over

Glassjaw Our Color Green EP

Thriving Ivory Through Yourself & Back Again

HH

HHHHH

HH

Autumn Portrait seems to be doing all of the things they think they should be doing on The Design is Over, instead of thinking of or searching for new inspiration. While the instrumentals are catchy, vocalist Freddie Mojalla sounds like a prepubescent Sam Roberts. By holding onto a few too many repetitive guitar licks and singing in a whiny angst, The Design is Over is reminiscent of a dude who can play guitar hero on expert in his sleep, but doesn’t ever use star power to pack that extra punch.

Thankfully, backup female vocals on “The Light” indicate fluidity and drive, but only briefly. Just as this pleasantly different final track falls into a likable groove, it fades off into obscurity. Overall, The Autumn Portrait has some potential but they just need to take a step back and maybe try painting a picture that doesn’t change before you can enjoy it.

Glassjaw is that girl who broke your heart, but you never stopped loving. After two exhilarating and passionate albums, she suddenly stopped talking to you, stopped returning your calls and seemingly disappeared. You’d randomly hear from her and she’d tease you with cryptic messages and promises of new material. But she only ever got your hopes up, just to let you down later. You eventually got over her, but never forgot about Glassjaw. How could you? She was the one who got away.

Now here, eight years later, she shows up on your doorstep with a promise and an EP, Our Color Green. But you could never take her back, not just so she could break your heart again. But as the first notes caress your ears, you remember why you loved her in the first place and forgive her for everything. By the end of the record you realize even if she disappears again, it was worth it, just to be with her this one last time.

My initial expectations for Thriving Ivory's latest album, Through Yourself & Back Again were very low, but surprisingly it was not as terrible as I thought it was going to be. The music is of the typical pop/rock genre and is very radio-friendly, but also predictable. Singer Clayton Stroope’s voice is distinct and is probably the only thing that makes this band sound recognizable as Thriving Ivory, but they're also a little too comparable to bands like Hedley and One Republic. Each song seems to flow into one another, and not one song is really distinct aside from “Love Alone” and “Come November.” In a way it gives the record a succinct sound, but there are some variations that could be added to make the songs more dynamic and less mainstream sounding.

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Trevor Roach

•

Chris Hoy

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Catherine Brasch

D12 • the silhouette’s art & culture magazine As a band which has churned out nine albums, slugged out the past 12 years touring every inch of the country, and collaborated with the likes of Neko Case, Garth Hudson, Neil Young and Margaret Atwood, the musical bravado of roots rockers The Sadies continues to trump most Canadian acts making press these days.

Music credentials aside, the Toronto quartet’s ongoing acclaim has also largely contributed to their longevity. Having released their latest full-length, Darker Circles last May, the band has found itself in a number of critics’ year-end good books – a Polaris shortlist nod being one of many accolades.

Guitarist and bluegrass aficionado Travis Good, who fronts the band alongside brother and multi-instrumental crooner Dallas, is reluctant, though, to place superlative terms on the band despite their well-worn tenure.

Having just returned from rockabilly icon Ronnie Hawkins’s birthday bash (fittingly) on a Monday afternoon, Good is modest when responding to the recent applause for the band’s latest album.

“We’re too young for recognition.

Getting respect and recognition is usually

music

a sign of retirement,” he laughed. “It’s certainly nice to get so much press all at once because we work hard, but I’d say that our constant time on the road is what’s earned it in lieu of selling records,” he continued.

There’s no denying the transient work ethic of the band when it comes to pinpointing their success. While in the midst of recording an album on the side with Tragically Hip frontman Gord Downie, the band is also currently touring Westward through the country for the next couple of months.

With this tour, however, freshening things up by catering to a more youthful of pub and lounge-goers is on the band’s to-do list. As Good explained, “We all agreed it would be nice to play different rooms at some point. Even after a dozen years of [touring], it still hasn’t gotten exhausting for any of us.

“We’re still just as excited to get up and do an eight-hour drive to play a show for people,” he added. “And even if it’s young, old, or just about anyone coming out, as long as they spell our name right, then we’re good to go.”

Musically, the band’s progression continues to blossom into what Good

dubs as their own distinct “blessing of a Sadies’ sound” through continually pulling from a number of influences; alt-country, garage fuzz, surf rock, and ’60s psych-pop being a handful of pigeon-hole descriptors of the group.

“We never really had any idea of what music we were going to play when we started out. Having jumped from backing Neko Case, to being heavily fixed on Hamilton’s own Teenage Heads over the years, we’ve found ourselves playing whatever influenced us at the time,” explained Good on the band’s sound.

“It could have been what we ate that day, what records we had on, or simply touring so much together, but over the years we’ve simply progressed to organically crafting something of our own. I think [Darker Circles] is a good example of it,” he continued.

With applauded Jayhawks’ member Gary Louris having taken the reigns of production on Darker Circles, it’s easy to recognize an improved uniqueness to that haunting Sadies’ sound that only quietly loomed in their previous output.

Tracks like “Another Year Again” and “Postcards” cyclically pick up from the

thursday, january 20, 2011 same barn-burner twang they left off with in earlier works New Seasons, but the album also meanders through uncharted waters with somber ballads and echo-drenched psych bits. See “Tell Her What I Said.”

Lyrical references to the advents of age, isolation and abandonment, coupled with some well-established virtuosic instrumentals, provides for an album which, according Good, is definitive of a slow but constant rise in the band’s exposure.

“Things have been super gradual, but there’s been a trend of improving on every record, gathering a little more praise, seeing a few new faces in every town, and finally recognizing ‘Hey, we’re onto something’ as the years go on.

“For now, we’re keeping up with the usual plans,” he continued. “Another tour across Canada after the current one, and then we’ll finish off that Gord [Downie] record for the summertime and, well, we’ll begin to start recording again. The cycle continues.”

The Sadies will be performing in Hamilton on Jan. 22 at the Casbah  Dan Hawie

andy chats with the sadies about their ongoing exposure