Tower to Aether

Mass Hysteria

thoughts on a carousel ride in reverse. JOSHUA MARTIN GUANCO

The linearity of life can sometimes be treated with nonchalance—you progress, you evolve, you age, you move forward. In fact, venturing into tomorrow without the promise of certainty has been a trait embedded in your natural clockwork: you sleep in order to wake up to a new dawn that might not come. It is daunting—knowing that time, for you, may stop its gears just before daylight even lays its lips on your skin. But if only you could see what is past the midnight hour, then you could look forward to a tomorrow devoid of uncertainty. A tomorrow where memories flow backward as you inch yourself forward.

It is only then that you would get to see the entire map of your life: the careers that you have taken, the countries that you have crossed, the bus tickets that you have crumpled and kept inside the pockets of your pants, the long sips of coffee you have taken while you were filling some pages of your journal, the clothes that you have outsized, the hangovers you have triumphantly endured, the friends that you have treasured, the bridges that you have burned, the paws that have greeted you every time you went home, the smiles that you have painted, the tears that you have shed, the pain that you have persevered through, the love that you have grown old with—everything.

And as these memories ebb against this panorama of your life—on this carousel ride in reverse—you get to witness yourself moving back to your family. You remember home: waking up early for school, playing in the rain, waiting for the breakfast your mother has prepared, having your first toy, your first wound after falling off your bike, your first walk, your first step, your first word, and eventually, your first breath.

But all of this is but a yearning of a soul that is traversing to a pending tomorrow. However, always remember this: what you bring with you while treading into the uncertain future is the certainty of the past— the journey that you have taken since your first act of respiration.

Look how far you’ve come.