The Class 2020 by TheSpectrum-USLS

THESPECTRUM VOLUME 65 . NUMBER 2 | AUGUST 2020

about the cover Who are you, if not the creator of your own compositions? With but a downcast wave of your baton, you assert command over the wayward direction of the current. A single stroke of bow against string permits you to tinker with teary smiles, wide eyes, and furrowed brows. Familiar chords are often accompanied by an untasteful dissonance when aloud, yet your hands cannot waverâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;not until that drawn-out, sensational final note. Who are you, if not a hostage of your own melodies?

editor’s note

As much as I pride myself in near-megalomaniac existential autonomy—such control is unpredictably fragile. We quietly succumb to the delusion of self-governance without fully comprehending how easily it all collapses at the hands of a greater entity. Such fragility is the price we pay for our symphony. In light of this, we remember that the precursor of control is responsibility. In our aimless trek through the Grand Staff, we confront our own mortality as it slowly bleeds from the bar lines of our subconscious periphery to the forefront of our consciousness to conduct an intervention: what crescendos are we approaching? If I were to pick the greatest beast that has gnawed its way through the fixed rhythms of my escapism, it would be the uncertainty of the future. The measures of time have never been so muddled with subtle tones of personal and global apocalypse while we all struggle to regain familiar harmony within our lives. But, by the same beat, we are also reminded of valor and resistance. This year’s unending torrent of crises is not without stories of hope that resonate even louder amid tragedy—essential workers, activists, and frontliners have inspired survival in solidarity without taking the attention away from the unfortunate. Reverberating in the halls of our own university, humble tales of struggle and triumph will always punctuate those same old classrooms. Likewise, the handful of anecdotes from Batch 2020 accentuates our current bout with fate and reflects parts of us we hold dear. Ultimately, despite being under the dichotomy of order and chaos, we will always have the liberty to act upon the betterment of our own narrative and of those around us.

photo by Karl Brian T. Marqueza

Remember choice when you browse these pages. Remember that everyone’s compositions are never perfect—they’re gauging the tune of their strings and the timing of their melodies just as much as you are.

Lance Christian M. Juarez

65th EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

What is something in your life that seemingly started out as a failure but ended up being a success? Compiled by: Adrianne H. Saplagio Photographed by: Inocencio John Keith B. Ferrer V, Martini M. Falco, Karl Brian T. Marqueza, and Kyle Jyrax D. Sevilla

LANCE

As a 16-year-old equipped with a small knack for English essays and absolutely zero experience in cocurricular organizations, I did not expect to get the Feature Editor position after applying for a then non-existent school publication in my first year of Senior High School. For an entire month full of history-altering meetings and executive Editorial Board decisions, my soul was gagged by anxiety—I didn’t even know what a feature actually was since the definition was so vague. Needless to say, after nearly half a decade of campus journalism filled with deadly deadlines, overnights with the best people, and historical legacies, life-changing feels like an understatement.

IVEE It all started with a fire. One evening at an old classroom in the IS building way back in 9th grade, my classmate and I were working on the costume for our play and were using the “kandila-glue stick” method to attach pieces of cotton to the chipboard. One thing led to another and before we knew it, the costume we were supposed to finish had set ablaze and there I was, thoughtlessly fanning my skirt to put out the fire, which of course, only grew bigger. As I was panicking, teachers and nearby cheerdancers helped us put out the fire, and by the next day, I got an earful from my homeroom adviser. Coincidentally, our teacher endorsed us to learn basic emergency skills as CAT officers when they campaigned earlier that day, and the girl who couldn’t put out a measly fire in the past ended up graduating as a CAT officer.

KYNAH

KRISTINE

I’ve always been taught that every little mistake I made was a failure when I was only a budding adolescent. From the inability to pronounce words correctly, to having words misspelled, to not getting the right sequence of movements, to not being able to reason out rationally, to not being able to hit a home run—all these, I thought, were just another set of failures. However, as time went by, I realized that they weren’t failures after all; rather, they were part of my progress. Those little mistakes contributed to who I have become in the past two decades—a declaimer, dancer, athlete, writer, student journalist, and leader.

PAULA

I’m usually the type to second-guess myself the moment I know I made even the slightest mistake, but at the end of the day, I actually did better than expected. But maybe the most memorable time would be last year’s College Press Conference (COPRE). I had a very rough start with COPRE a year ago—I tried out new areas during the pre-competition workshops and I failed to get any recognition. It was alright at first, but after I was chosen to compete for COPRE, I started doubting myself again, and when the emcee was announcing the placers and my name wasn’t called yet, I thought my publication would be wasting money on me if I couldn’t at least place. I was just about ready to give up when my name was called for first place—I keep this memory close to my heart as a reminder that I will succeed if I just believe that I can do so (after shedding a few tears every now and again).

Getting oneself to act in a theatre play is fascinating when everything’s scheduled (from practices and rehearsals to the final performance), but sometimes, you’ve got to act earlier than the set deadline—no costumes, no makeup, no backdrops, and no props, plus dealing with an unfinished script. This happened all because of the recent pandemic. That day was supposed to be just one of our normal rehearsals; however, it was the same day when rumors about the probable campus shutdown spread, and we were worried about how we were going to have our performance task (which was the substitute for our final exam). That was when we all decided to do a snap play—we weren’t confident prior to the performance considering we were still halfway to finishing the script, but hearing our professor’s applause right after our play and receiving the perfect score for the exam was more than fulfilling! What’s more auspicious was that I got to share this success with other people—my BEEN2 fam!

round table HANA

Hands down, my attempts at breaking into the campus journalist life were a near failure. I was presented the opportunity during Junior High but ultimately missed my chance (now I like to take it as a sign that I wasn’t ready yet). Then in Senior High, during the student publication’s exam day, I was a mess—I was running late, missing a few requirements, and was seriously considering not going at all. But joining a publication had been a fantasy of mine for a while now; this was something I told myself I would try. In the end, it was an encouraging phone call with the very person who invited me paired with some much-needed spiritual guidance that gave me enough courage to finally take the risk, and I haven’t looked back since.

HASON

I’ve had my fair share of days I can barely recall that started out with me on the wrong side of the bed and becoming the poster child of Murphy’s Law right after. But during one of the exceptions, I remember sitting stiffly in a room with neither a decent amount of sleep nor fuel for faux confidence across two interviewers—a prerequisite that will determine my stay in the program I am enrolled in. I’m pretty sure almost everything—if not everything—that came out of my mouth that time lacked the tact that only good rest and preparation could have fixed, and the memory of bawling my eyes out the moment I stepped inside our office after the interview will forever be ingrained in my mind. A few weeks after, I found myself holding a letter saying that I made it through the process. I guess my takeaway from that memory is that I may have done a lot less than expected, but I still have more days to outdo expectations.

PATRICK It all started back in 10th grade when our school publication, The Gleam, was finding new members—I thought to myself that it’s already my last year in Junior High, why not give it a shot? I applied as a Feature Writer, but sadly, all slots were already taken and the only section empty was sports, so my publication adviser urged me to try sports writing. I was afraid at that time because I didn’t have a single idea about sports writing, but something happened along the way. In that same year, I joined DSPC as a Sports Writer for the very first time, and who would have thought that I would reach NSPC? I was redirected to something I did not expect, something that opened many doors of opportunity for me, and I am and will forever be grateful for it.

KARL

BS Education was the last of my options for my college life. My first option was to take up Architecture, but my parents wouldn’t allow me, so I told them that I wanted to take up MassCom, and still, they didn’t allow it—my last choice was Political Science, but again, they didn’t want it for me. So I decided to take Education, and I told myself that they wanted it for me, because I know that my parents know what is best for me. Right now I am really enjoying my college life, and my grades are pretty good so far. I tell myself that I’ll be a great teacher someday.

KIARA ALEXANDRA

Growing up, I was always passionate about art—always interested in creating and the freedom it brings. However, I’ve always thought my knack for art was just temporary or somehow a shortlived passion. Upon joining a college publication, I have discovered the depths of it and it has honed my skills to a whole new level. It’s like falling in love all over again. The following content is not intended for meme clout, but indeed—graphic design is my passion.

My last year in high school was pretty much my definition of a failure—I had to go through a heartwrenching breakup from a twoyear relationship, and I also wasn’t able to enter my dream university. To top it all off, immediately right after our graduation, almost half of my group of friends decided to leave the province for college. My life seemed to be spiraling downwards until the first day of college dawned upon me. I realized that this place still had a lot to offer, and I wouldn’t want to miss out on those. I found new friends and developed a closer bond with those who have been with me since Day 1, went to places I’ve never heard before, done things that I would never even dare to try when I was younger, discovered new passions, and fell in love again at the most unexpected time.

CONTENTS

CAS Rinna Marie Ramos // A Moment in Stills

CED Jester Abad // Leaps of Faith

Riding the Rollercoaster Decade Once More

Tactical Retreat: Moving Forward Through Gap Years

YAL-CBA Hanazl Lynne MascuĂąana // The Woman Beyond Words

CET King Miguel Gordo // Take a bet or risk regret

The Path We Must Take (And Painless Ways to Survive)

Cause of Death: Unpreparedness

ABOUT THE THEME

USG Angelica Moreño // Legacy Undeterred

ARTISTS’ HUB Sweet Shaila Lopez // To Bloom Where You Are Planted

BALAYAN Vera Lamis // All Set for Catalysis

VSO Elimona Usman // Onto the next goal

PERSONALS Hezron Pios // Warfare Workshop

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PERSONALS Starlene Joy Portillo // From One Writer to Another PERSONALS Martini Falco // Just Another Journal Entry

PERSONALS Katherine Co // A Katherine’s Only Memoir

PH Press Freedom: A cycle of threats

The Jeopardy of Being Academically ‘Free’

blitz

art by Andrea Danielle A. Gamboa

For goodness’ sake! What do you mean you’re not ready? You know the orchestra is a mess without you, and the audience is practically tumbling out of their seats in excitement! You’ve rehearsed this too many times to fall short now. Yes, you look just fine—try a smile, would you? Come, collect yourself—that’s right, deep breaths—and when all is well, head to your podium. Now then, let them see what you’re made of. As the first note precedes the crescendo, The Overture is but the indicator of a grand night ahead. Be wary of the harsh glare of the spotlight as you settle into position. Raise your trembling hands, relish in the sudden hush of the crowd, and hear your heart thump in your ears. Dearest conductor, where will you guide the music tonight? … The Spectrum would like to express its gratitude first and foremost to our Heavenly Father, without whom this issue would not be as well-composed. Furthermore, we invite to the curtain call Ms. Jean Patindol for her bountiful wisdom and guiding melodies, Martini Falco for wielding both the baton and violin in style, and all ensemble members involved in the creation of any one of these 66 sheets of paper.

Thank you for helping us craft this masterpiece.

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ARTS AND SCieNCES

A i

e n m o i t M n St l l s

words by Ivee E. Manguilimotan photos by Karl Brian T. Marqueza

Photography stems from the desire to preserve the beauty of fleeting life. A photo lets us reminisce about the moments that words could never suffice. The vivid memory of the scent of freshly baked pasta you’ve captured right before devouring it or even the faint pang of pain you felt seeing a remnant of what you thought was long forgotten. All unsolicited emotions come rushing right back just from seeing a mere photograph. Rinna Marie “Inna” Ramos, a Liberal Arts and Commerce student of both AB Communication and BS in Business Administration Major in Marketing Management, realized this at a young age. A daughter of a respectable media man in the province, Inna’s first experience with a camera portrayed penitents walking through the street with a cloth covering their face and a scourge striking their backs until it bled. She held the camera in her hand and took shots of the reenactment of the suffering of Christ at Bicol during the Holy Week. “I even had to step closer to take photos of people making cuts on their backs, [the] penitents, with sharp blades because I had a prime lens on,” Inna shared. Despite feeling bothered by the tradition, her curiosity got the best of her and she took a step closer to capture the shot, as well as a step closer to her passion. As a Communication student, Inna was active in adhering to the course’s demands, such as theater plays and short films, and even participating in extracurricular activities. With her lucid enthusiasm for the field, she quickly gained skills from photography to production and set design. But her eyes, the glistening windows to her soul, were set on capturing life’s fleeting complexities. She was anchored to focus her passion on her craft. Inna has won several distinctive recognitions such as Best in Photojournalism during the 2016 and 2018 Bilib Awards as well as Best Lifestyle Photo in the Ugyon Media Camp. Moreover, she became the Communication Department’s The Lead Chief Photographer in 2017, and in the succeeding year, Communication Society USLS’ Documentation Head. Even before entering college, she enrolled in Bacollywood’s film production class. And for her last year, she was accepted at the Lasalle Yearbook. Indeed, a restless soul in pursuit of the arts. However, as flexible and active as she was, what was etched in her heart the most was the theater play “Piero’s” during her third year, wherein she took part as the class’ set designer and shot videos for the promotional team. With a tight budget, she and another classmate gathered the materials and resources needed without compromising the quality.

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She found it important that she engaged the youth in accepting one’s body. Some of her activities involved talks on body size stigma and weight discrimination to students of Luis Hervias National High School, a group dynamics workshop on body acceptance to young girls from Bacolod Girls’ Home Foundation, and a free yoga session at Lotus Space. For her major event, she held a week-long photo exhibit in collaboration with local photographers showcasing their inspiration on the concept of body positivity at Onse Coffee+Art. “This has marked a beginning of seeing through body standards to acknowledge that all bodies are worth celebrating,” Inna confided. More than that, taking photographs changes the way we experience the world and how we remember that experience. The world celebrates the art of photography but seldom do people understand what it means to be the one behind the lens.

“It was tough because we had to finish [everything] in the short time allotted to us. It took much of our energy and time to perfect our vision,” Inna expressed. The pressure of creating a set enthralled her and allowed her to tap into art forms beyond photography. Inna has also been called names and mistakenly labeled as anorexic because of her naturally slim body size. Later on, in fulfillment of her Senior’s Project as a fourth year Communication student, Inna organized “Body Bloom” which tackled body positivity. In this seemingly cruel world, one’s body size and shape has always been a controversial topic for society. People are usually wired to take comments on one’s body size as a joke, but for some, it takes a toll on their emotions and confidence. “I chose this advocacy because it sits close to my heart and I felt like it was something to be talked about,” she admitted.

Knowing what it felt like being on the short end of the stick, Inna wanted to extend a helping hand to those who had similar experiences with her. “I pursued this advocacy because I know there are people who have similar experiences and issues when it comes to their bodies,” Inna affirmed. Society has construed our perception on the ideal body size but it didn’t stop Inna from paving a way and breaking the stigma that we are limited to our appearances and looks.

As such, it wasn’t always smooth for Inna. She learned the risks of her beloved craft when her father met with an accident while rafting on a river along Mabinay for his TV segment. “The news even reached national television. Now, thinking about it, I could have lost my dad,” she confessed. Being behind the camera entailed danger not appropriately portrayed in television. Even so, it did not stop her from pursuing her passion. For now, Inna has no concrete plans on her career yet she hopes to find a decent job in line with her interests. The photographer’s work—their life’s work—has always been eye-catching and jaw-dropping to the audience but seldom do people grasp the process of it all. The essence of the photo is not limited to the physical product, but the journey it took reigns on top. Capturing a moment itself is a moment that the artist could only store in their memory, yet the experience and thrill will no doubt live in one’s veins. For Inna, to snap one of life’s moments is one grand adventure. S

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EDUCATION

L e of

s p a a ith F

words by Paula Mae E. Villarosa photos by Keilah N. Baldomar

You’re walking out to the tracks, at the final stretch of what stands between you and taking that grand trophy home. Your heart is beating out of your chest, body drenched with sweat, and skin tingling with nerves. You look to the crowd—thousands of them springing to their feet, shouting your name, booing as you take your stance. Not the best of circumstances, is it? It’s never an easy hurdle competing in sports (or anything in general) with the goal of wanting to excel, and it’s even harder to do so away from your home turf. Yet, a young man was able to jump to greater heights despite being at a disadvantage. Jester Abad, a varsity scholar for the university’s long jump team and a graduating student of Elementary Education Major in General Education, has spent five years dodging and swerving through life’s obstacles in uncharted territory. He has long endured the tiresome hurdles, the heat, and the mockery from naysayers that continuously shoved him down the dust. “In the first place, I never imagined that I could attend this university,” Jester mused. The young athlete had his trajectory set for the University of St. La Salle even if it seemed like a long shot from where he was in a small barangay in La Castellana. But even before he bounded towards that dream, his heart cut him short after being diagnosed with arrhythmia, a heart condition that causes irregular heartbeats and could lead to cardiac arrest or heart failures if not addressed properly. He was told not to engage in rigorous activities while he took his medication—he had to put being an athlete on hold for a whole month. Nevertheless, he still jogged 6-14 km every day at 2 AM from his house to the town proper. He still trained for his sport. Not once taking the doctor’s prescription, he instead changed his lifestyle and gobbled up all the food that was to do his heart some good. Most of all, he held on to faith. “I went to church that Sunday, and then I told God if He wanted to take me, that it was up to him—kung may plan ka pa, ga-i man ko sign,” he shared with a slight glint of wonder in his eyes. True enough, after a month, his condition improved and the complication was deemed manageable enough for him to continue being an athlete. After graduating high school at a public school in his hometown, he stopped for one year to tirelessly train and try out for the university’s long jump team. With a recommendation from his high school coach, he tried out six times in the span of his gap year. After being denied for five consecutive times, he was eventually accepted on his sixth try and was granted a scholarship. Jester was born and raised in their humble kubo in Crossing Alipion, Brgy. Lalagsan. He lived a modest life as a kid, helping his

mornings, he’d go home and look for part-time jobs—from digging the drainage in bathrooms and delivering rabbits, to hauling huge stones and sacks of sand for construction. Jester would then save up what little he earned as his allowance that following week. No matter which turf he’d leap to, he’d always be faced with a tough crowd. He relayed how at first, he was victim to the stereotype that people had on athletes and country folks: “Kay ang pagpati nila kung athlete, hina. So siling ko, try ta bi kung hina man gid ang athlete.” No one wanted to be grouped with him and his two fellow jocks for their report— which almost cost him greatly seeing that except for an outdated keypad cellphone, the three of them had no other resources to make their report. Yet, he swerved through this one yet again, scoring the highest in class.

parents farm out in the field or plant vegetables. Going to the city to study was foreign territory for him—life in the city was more demanding and costly than living on the farm. Although he lived off the scholarship grant that the university provided— inclusive of housing, meals, tuition, and allowance—he was still significantly straining to make ends meet. Jester’s parents and older brother weren’t able to finish school and farming was their only source of income, but it couldn’t cover the rest of his expenses. Every weekend he’d come home to his father pushing him to stop schooling because they could no longer sustain his education in the university. He also recalled the mockery of the crowd back at his home tracks, “Ginahambalan na ko to s’amon nga ano ka ga‘pangarap ng gising’? Nagsulod ka sa amo na nga university? Daw buang ko kuno nga nagsulod ko di. [Daw] ambisyoso, nga amo gid ni nga eskwelahan nga pwede man lang didto.” But he believed that his feet had brought him to USLS for a greater purpose—a greater plan. So every weekend, after his National Service Training Program class on Saturday

At times when he wavered and his knees buckled at the take-off board of his life, Jester listened to but one booming voice out in the stands—the Lord often came to his dreams, bathed in light so much that His face couldn’t be seen. He took his hand, sat him down amidst the clouds, and reminded him that he had to continue what he was doing, because greater things were ahead of him. This divine encouragement, coupled with the support from his dean and teachers, enabled him to persevere, improve in his sport (bagging silver and bronze medals in competitions), and excel in his studies (receiving high distinctions in the Dean’s List and Br. Francis Cody Honors Circle for four consecutive years). Now, he’s graduating as Magna Cum Laude and will be delivering the graduation speech. “There’s a technique in long jump that I use,” the Magna Cum Laude started. “If you want to leap further and ace it, you must keep your head up. If you look down, you’d stumble forward.” He slightly tilted his head upwards with a hint of a smile as he continued, “If mag tanga ka, may maabot gid na—God is looking at you. Malab-ot mo gid na ang goal mo.” Despite everything, Jester took his stance, looked up, and did what he does best—jump. S

Riding the Rollercoaster Decade Once More words by Drexel John N. Amit art by Gerico T. Guanco The ferris wheel lets us view the vastness of the world while the merry-go-round lets us see the world in a blur. The rollercoaster, however, lets us experience the ups and downs of it. The 2010s is just like a rollercoaster ride. It takes us through a series of steep inclines, thrilling descents, and even sharp curves. One may feel dizzy, shocked, and even nauseated. However, once the ride arrives at a pit stop, a feeling of accomplishment takes over the consciousness. Just like any other decade, the 2010s is jam-packed with events and occurrences that had truly shaken the Philippines and even the world. So, we look back to these events that had put the country in both cloud nine and the pits of hell. Ready to take this rollercoaster ride once more? Buckle up! Breathtaking Declines The Philippines truly went through a series of loops in 2013 with the consecutive occurrences of the deadliest earthquake and the most destructive typhoon of the decade. With winds whipping harshly and downpours splashing heavily, Super Typhoon Yolanda soaked the Philippines in devastation in November 2013. The typhoon’s strong gusts uprooted trees, detached roofs from houses, and destroyed properties with damages summing up to about 95.48 billion Php. Likewise, the ‘unexpected’ storm surge flooded areas near the coast and left 6,352 people dead and 1,071 missing. Yolanda’s wrath proved to be one of the deadliest and most powerful in the history of tropical cyclones. Several weeks before that, another tragedy seemed to prove the adage “calm before the storm” wrong with a magnitude 7.2 earthquake annihilating the Visayas area. Deemed as the deadliest Philippine quake in 23 years, the Cebu-Bohol earthquake of October 2013 left 222 people dead and eight missing. The quake’s harsh trembling, together with its 4,465 aftershocks, knocked buildings down and deteriorated roads, bringing about 2.25 billion Php worth of damage. As if the loops were not nauseating enough, the 2010s then brought upon the Philippines a succession of synclines. The

country had to face peace conflicts with the Mamasapano clash and Marawi Siege happening in Mindanao. The Mamasapano clash started as a Special Action Force mission to capture or kill high-ranking terrorists. Although the mission itself was considered successful, the lives of 44 elite cops were taken in the bloody fight against the rebels. Meanwhile, the Marawi Siege was an armed conflict between the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant and the security forces of the government that lasted for about five months. The conflict lasted from May to October 2017, only ending after the Armed Forces of the Philippines recaptured the city. The crisis left 168 cops and soldiers, 978 militants, and 87 civilians dead with nearly 1.1 million civilians displaced. Precipitous Slopes Looking back, the Philippines did not only face hardships in the 2010s. Gravity seemed to have made the country remain in its seat despite the shaky ride with triumphs that did not only raise

outbreaks

typhoon yolanda

CEBu-BOHOL EARTHQUAKE

outbreaks

MAMASAPANO

Triumphs:

triumph in sports

philippines aS BEAUTY QUEEN POWERHOUSE

the Filipino flag but boosted Filipino pride as well. In terms of pageantry, the Philippines garnered a total of eight crowns in four of the biggest pageants in the world, leading Philippines to a winning streak from 2013 to 2018. The country had the most successful decade in terms of pageantry standing and is considered one of the most successful pageant powerhouse countries in the world. Philippine sports have also been in the anticline of the coaster. A starter to this triumph was Hidilyn Diaz ending the 20-year Olympic medal drought by bagging silver in the 53-kg women’s weightlifting category at the 2016 Summer Olympics. Additionally, consecutive gold medals were brought home by Carlos Yulo and Nesthy Petecio after competing in the 41st FIG Artistic Gymnastics World Championships and the 2019 Aiba Women’s World Boxing Championships respectively in October 2019. Furthermore, the cream of the crop of the decade’s sports triumphs is the championship claimed by the Philippines in the 2019 Southeast Asian Games, our first since 2005.

philippines' booming economy

Moreover, the Philippines also faced prosperity in the decade with the economy propelling up the slopes. According to economist Arsenio Balisacan, the average growth in Global Domestic Product of the country averaged 6.3% in the 2010s which is the fastest since the 1960s. Also, the Philippine Stock Exchange Index, which indicates the state of business climate, grew by 2.5 times to above 7,800 compared to just above 3,000 in the 2000s. Hopeful Pit Stops The 2010s has truly been a rollercoaster kind of a decade. It took the Philippines through a series of ups, downs, and even loops. Looking back at the enumerated events, different emotions would emerge. We may feel thrilled, scared, or even indifferent but what’s important is knowing that these occurrences brought us to where we stand today. Despite having overwhelming emotions about the past, one feeling should rule over—hope. Hope for the days, years, and decades to come. Just like riding a rollercoaster, we look forward and enjoy what’s ahead. S

Tactical Retreat: Moving Forward Through Gap Years words by Alan S. Villanueva Jr. art by Anna Theresa T. Parayno Wrapped in heaps of steel weighing you down, you stood frozen and breathless with only red shrouding your sight as countless allies bled on the ground. Even the glistening swords you once worshipped as goddesses of beauty have all rusted away. “Charge,” your commander still repeatedly screams, desperate for glory. And with just that word, you watched the brothers and sisters you admired unhesitatingly leap towards your enemies’ blades, merely delaying your inevitable defeat. But while bravery to unceasingly fight is indeed honorable, you ask yourself: “Can’t we just fight another day?” Every single day of our lives has always been a battle. This is reflected in Charles Darwin’s theory of natural selection, which implies that only the fittest can survive, an uncontested truth since primitive times. Even today in the modern era, wherein conditions have become better suited for living, Darwin’s theory is still truthful in some aspects. With the hopes of gearing ourselves for future jobs, we devote time and money into studying. However, these preparations are hardly ever sufficient since life has several uncertainties and challenges. Some students opt to temporarily stop schooling in order to pursue travel, work experience, and/or personal exploration. These intervals may sometimes be taken before, during, or even after college to prepare for the academic transition and for future careers. This period refers to a gap year which was popularized in the 1960s. Taking a gap year may be perceived as impractical primarily because it consumes a lot of time meant for studying. It would also entail expenses for activities such as travelling, which is costly. Separation from parents and relatives may prove to be unsettling and risky as well. Despite the disadvantages, this time could also facilitate opportunities to discover and fulfill other interests. Knowing our purpose is important for us to realize our potentials in our intended careers.

In relation to this, Monster Philippines, an online global careers network, conducted the ‘I Made The Switch’ survey wherein 88% of the Filipino respondents expressed thoughts about transferring to another field of expertise to find the “best job” for them. This clearly illustrates the consequences of not knowing what you want. Identifying activities that you love doing could greatly aid in comprehending your purpose. Aside from the clarification of life goals, gap years could potentially assist in conditioning us for future work life. Developing essential characteristics such as independence can be facilitated by gap years wherein we may choose to subject ourselves to unfamiliar environments. In line with independence, we may explore different professions and acquire experience. Within this time frame, students will no longer be hindered by scholastic duties like maintaining grades and balancing extracurricular activities and will thus become more available for livelihood engagements. Students would then be able to earn and improve their credentials at the same time. In consideration of the grimmer realities of professional life, workers would usually have so much work that recreational activities would rarely be possible. These instances would ordinarily make us feel like we are missing out on life, consequently leading us into losing the motivation to comply with our responsibilities. Every second we breathe, every day we wake—we do not fight to become legacies to be remembered or legends to be sung. We fight to relish every moment of our lives. Warriors are not born, and in the same way, we are not born courageous and strong. Some may learn to be by bravely rushing ahead while some by cautiously moving forward. What really matters is not catching up with others but matching the pace of each of our feet. We may need to retreat but we do not necessarily have to surrender. S

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YAL-CBA

o m W an The B eyo n d Wo r

words by Hana Patricia Raj E. Hautea photos by Keilah N. Baldomar

What do you get when you put together a business lover, a life coach, and a whole lot of personality? A strong, independent woman by the name of Hanazl “H” Lynne T. Mascuñana. My first impression of her: she exuded confidence. Even just introducing herself, she was dynamic—her gestures adding to the vibrancy of her words while her eyes twinkled with life. When I voiced my concerns about the noise around us, she offered to use her phone for the audio recording instead, and I noted how thoughtful she was. And as our coffee grew cold, she enlightened me with riveting tales of her past, and there, she struck me as passionate. Graduating from Business Administration Major in Business Economics was never part of her plan. When she was younger, H had set her sights on a completely different field: medicine. She’d aspired to be a medical doctor, so armed with a resilient spirit and a one-track mind, she endured her way through a BS Nursing degree from Colegio San Agustin in 2008. From there, her next goal was to take the Philippine Nursing Licensure Exam, so she decided to save up money and applied to a BPO company called TeleTech.

But another major game changer came from a different aspect of her life: the church. While the company developed her skill, the church developed her character. The more H discovered about God, the more in love she was with Him, and the less she thought about herself. “If I was not grounded in the Word, if I was not grounded in my character, I would have left that company early on,” she revealed. “But the church taught me about submission to authority, the church taught me about humility, [and] the church reminded me that only God is good and I’m evil.” As if having backgrounds in medicine and management weren’t enough, H possesses a hidden gift that runs in her family’s blood: teaching. As someone who came from a family of teachers and public servants, it was futile for her to fight fate as until now, it’s a key component of her personality and everyday life. She does her best to impart wisdom not just to her classmates in school or to her team in TeleTech, but also to her brothers and sisters in the church. We’d joked about how even if she ended up taking medicine, she’d still find a way to go back to teaching. In fact, she’s so passionate about this that one of her goals in life is to travel to remote

Her ensuing change of mindset can best be summarized in this quote of hers: “Now, why become a doctor if you can own a hospital?” It was here that her roots were planted, and since then, she never stopped growing. A loyal employee for almost 12 years, she found herself gaining invaluable skills while simultaneously climbing the corporate ladder. Currently a Project Manager, H attributes her long stay to two important things: the culture and the leadership. These shaped her perspective and turned her into the business mogul she is today, all the while molding both her people and communication skills. In fact, she proudly told me that half of who she is today is a product of TeleTech. And yet, despite the success, she didn’t stop there. “I came to this crazy idea that if I can see and do things without the theory and this is my result [then] imagine my potential if I studied the theory,” H mused. This exact train of thought led her to enroll in USLS for her second bachelor’s degree in 2016. “College is sweeter the second time around,” she laughed when asked how going back to school was like. “It is! The things that I’m doing in the office are the very same things that I’m learning in school. So, I married the theory and the practice. And I have a lot of Aha! moments.” Those revelations were pivotal as they continuously tweaked her perception on how she sees her work and business in general.

COLLEGE OF

ENGINEERING AND TECHNOLOGY

One of the people she treasures the most: her mother. Being raised by a single mom, H is happiest when she’s able to give back to her very supportive mother. Perhaps another reason why she’s so independent is because as the eldest child, she faced most challenges of her childhood alone. She even taught herself how to ride a bike behind her mother’s back, and despite the struggle of cycling through sand and bumping into a couple of trees, she fondly considers that her favorite childhood memory. Today, let H leave you with two valuable nuggets of wisdom. For one, to all college students out there: study, save up, invest, and run your own business in the future. Two, the reason she’s opening her story to the Lasallian community isn’t to brag about having two degrees but rather to inspire people. She said it best: “It’s never too late to start again. It will only be too late if you have already given up.”

places and teach people—help pastors who don’t have any background in management. Yet despite the seemingly upward curve of her life, there was a time where she allowed herself to be eaten by the system. Looking back, she described herself as a monster who saw people as production, and she started to see relationships drift away. H thought she was the one holding onto these bridges, but it turned out it was her behavior that was burning them. But it was through that painful experience that her eyes were opened to the importance of the people around her. That was her growing up. “As iron sharpens iron, so does one man sharpen another up. […] Those people who stayed—we’re like destined through fire,” she declared.

In just one conversation, I was introduced to several economic concepts, I received sincere advice regarding my worries about the future, and we tackled a plethora of unrelated topics—church history, body mass index, and even conditioning yourself to cure a phobia. Through all that, I was just there, enthralled by the extent of her passion, her wisdom, and her resilience. In all honesty, these flimsy words on paper cannot do justice to the personality that is Hanazl Lynne T. Mascuñana. She’s one of those people you have to experience in order to understand. S

college of

ENGINEERING & TECHNOLOGY

Ta ri s

t or e b a r g e e e t r k k

words by Ma. Kristine Joy R. Bayadog photos by Inocencio John Keith B. Ferrer V

At 3:58 in the afternoon of October 20, 1997, a king was born— but little did his parents know that he was born to be a queen. Persona Growing up, King Miguel Gordo, who goes by the nickname Kim, was a high-spirited, lighthearted second kid among six siblings. He recalls playing with the games and toys that ‘normal’ young boys would play with, but at most times, he enjoyed fitting his mom and grandma’s dresses, careless of judging eyes or intriguing queries as to why he acted or felt the way he did. Bubbly and carefree as a kid, it did not even occur to him that being queer—someone who’s at the phase of exploration of one’s own sexuality—was an issue.

“Bata pa lang ko, kabalo na ko kung ano ko kag sure na gid ko[…] I did not tell my parents na I feel girly inside. As I was growing up, that’s when it sank in to them that I am this,” he shared. Although he was born in Samar, he grew up to be a Manileño when his dad brought him and his siblings to Manila at age 2 to be taken care of by their aunt. Life seemed pretty interesting for Kim, and it became even more interesting and fun when he started to come out in full colors. Out of the Closet Come age 14, Kim’s third year in high school became one of his first milestones—for that was the time when he started to fully embrace his queerness. In preparation for their class Christmas Party, his friends insisted that he crossdress. “I did not know what to do that time… I had to ask my parents to buy me a wig, a pair of boots, tube, and shorts for a ‘dance presentation’ and I thought they were going to get mad, but they did not say anything and just bought me what I needed,” he shared. Although there was a part of him that worried about his parents being hesitant and uncomfortable, they still supported him. His family and classmates even loved how he came to be. They embraced him for being genuine to himself.

“Sugod sang nagka-buot ko, I knew nga amo na ko ni,” Kim confidently stated. He knew in his mind and soul that he was naturally born in rainbow pride. Being born with the name King did not fully sit well with his rainbow identity, but being a queen did, so she decided to step into the spotlight. Into the Rainbow After coming out, Kim fell prey to the judgment and criticisms of other people like most members of the rainbow community. She recalled being timid because she felt at that time, people like her were not accepted by society. It was pure horror for her that another person

Her love of Mathematics led her to enroll in the Electronics and Communications Engineering course in the university, but as a shiftee, she had to go back to the basics and get enrolled as a first year. Despite being a new face in La Salle, her energetic and fab aura involved her in a lot of extracurricular activities of the school such as broadway musicals, dance battles, cheerdance competitions, and pageantry—garnering both awards and popularity. She acquired a supportive environment from her family, friends, and partner. College taught Kim that she cannot please everyone, so she focused on being her true and happy self. Alter Ego

made fun of and was disgusted by her identity. “There are times when I walk through the street, [and] people say something about who I am. [They] even chanted ‘bakla, bakla, bakla!’ and called me ‘salot sa lipunan’. I was afraid and I somehow lost confidence in myself, but through that, I have learned to be deaf of other people’s negative judgment,” Kim confessed. Determined to survive the path she decided to take, she learned to swim with the waves of judging eyes instead of swimming against them. At college, she studied Accountancy in Adamson University in Manila for her first and second years. However, things went downhill when she flunked her subjects due to partying. Her parents gave her two options: to continue schooling in Manila or study in Bacolod with her aunt’s supervision. Despite having created tight relationships with people in her current home, she chose to try her luck in the City of Smiles—she chose to live in Bacolod for a new and colorful quest.

To her, no achievement is as fulfilling as becoming the person she has always desired, especially when she knows she has her family and closest peers as her sources of strength and belongingness. Kim’s parents were confused about who she really was when she was young, yet they accepted her preference and supported her choices. She is grateful to receive her loved ones’ acts of encouragement through her current transition in achieving her goal of having a woman’s features. “Whoever I choose myself to be, the special people in my life will always be proud of me,” she concluded. Kim may be a typical member of the rainbow community—experiencing first-hand the struggles to come to terms with her own identity and be accepted by the society, but the love and reinforcement her family gave her is far greater than her doubts. To proudly show her true color despite prejudice and champion the seemingly-easy-but-actually-not college scene at the same time are her life’s colorful mementos. S

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The Path We Must Take (And Painless Ways to Survive) words by Ezra Chrislaine L. Ortega art by Earl John D. Pabular

Aside from trying to cook without burning anything, juggling hectic schedules, and struggling to live away from the privilege of comfort and ease of your parents, what do you think adulthood feels like? Is it about transitioning from a carefree student to a well-versed individual? Is it about getting a job with a good salary and being able to pay back your family? Most of us haven’t experienced being an adult yet but we certainly have an idea of what it looks like. Adulthood has always been one of the toughest phases of life, but it is unfortunately not taught in school. Although guide maps don’t exist, we can start through understanding the processes we’ll need to thrive as we face adult life.

to let that gorgeous mind decide what your life is going to be in the next days, months, and years. 4. Take accountability. What you think and act is what you become. As you grow up and reach the phase of independence, you become solely responsible for your actions. Instead of pointing fingers and coming up with excuses, you should learn to accept that humans as we are— we are bound to make mistakes that need to be corrected and learned from.

Here are seven practical approaches to ace the adult life:

5. Ask for help. Adulthood doesn’t always mean doing everything alone, especially with things you are not familiar with. It may be difficult for independent adults to seek help but you have to understand that one way of surviving this tough battle is to encounter different perspectives in life.

1. Take care of your body and health. Above all, taking care of our wellness should be our utmost priority. This doesn’t just mean working out and having a healthy diet. You don’t have to be sick to seek medical assistance—part of adulting is going to the doctor for a regular check up even though you are completely fine so you keep yourself away from possible health risks. Other than having regular check ups, tracking your overall wellness through taking a rest when your body is tired is also a good way to start being right to your body.

6. Learn how to be a good friend. One of the wisest ways to become a nontoxic adult is to connect with other people. Learn to listen to their stories and empathize with them. You do not need to constantly give them advice on what they should do which leads you to reject their feelings and their perspectives—sometimes all they need is an ear to listen to them. Having great interpersonal skills is an edge that every adult must learn because, practically speaking, nobody can survive alone.

2. Get your finances in order. In this generation where you cannot run things without money, being an adult without cash would be very difficult. So, learning to categorize your expenses or simply making a list of payments is a great start to managing your finances. But of course, the main key to getting your finances in order is to spend less than you earn so you don’t get bothered by your pile of debt.

7. Make time to have fun. The trap of being an adult is the thought that you are not worthy of having fun due to a busy schedule, but it’s okay to have fun once in a while. This doesn’t mean going out and getting wasted; having fun could also mean bonding with your family and friends and doing things you’re passionate about. Because life isn’t only about being an adult, it is about being a well-rounded human being who’s responsible enough to balance work and leisure.

3. Organize your life. This is really crucial. Although it helps you reduce your stress, planning to fix things all in your mind would cause confusion. Fortunately, there are a lot of methods to help you prepare your life (i.e. Google Calendars to remind you of the vital dates of your life or Notepads to list your matters from the most to the least urgent). But these productivity applications are only instruments; the only application that can really do the work is your outstanding mind. Organization takes a lot of determination to come up with a clearer vision of what you want to become, so you have

Adulthood doesn’t have to be abrupt. It’s all about trial and error. Once you have taken full responsibility for your own life and actions, you will have a better grasp on adulthood. Through the little changes you make in your life, you are doing yourself a favor by becoming the best version of yourself you never thought you’d be. So, get a move on with your life and have faith in yourself. Who knows, someday you’ll suddenly find that you’re actually enjoying the greatest mixture of worry and pleasure, adulthood. S

Cause of Death: Unpreparedness words by Adrianne H. Saplagio art by Angela A. Coronel & Christian Dominic L. Ledesma

Another issue is that the country is limited to a small number of test kits, and a number of which was used to test VIPs. We don’t have enough facilities to address the disease, and neither do we have enough medical professionals to handle all the cases. To make things worse, people have been lying to their doctors about travel histories, thus exposing our frontliners to possible disease carriers. All these problems are the reason that for 25% of the Filipinos living below the poverty line, the ECQ is the best example of why our country is not made to stand against pandemics. Imagine a world overcome by fear—where people are consumed with panic. Imagine a world devoid of order—where actions are fueled by anxiety and paranoia. Imagine a world riddled with disease—where health personnel have no choice but to cram sick people into every nook and cranny they can find. Imagine. Wait, no—what am I saying? You’ve all seen it. You would have realized that the word ‘imagine’ doesn’t apply to our context—not when we’ve actually lived the horrors of those same exact situations. On March 11, 2020, the World Health Organization officially declared the novel coronavirus outbreak a pandemic. Here in the Philippines, we went from two confirmed cases in February to over 100,000 cases in a span of six months—and the numbers only went up from there. A surefire vaccine is still out of sight, let alone a cure, as they may take months or even years to develop, so our only ways of preventing the spread are through social distancing and proper hygiene. From the start of this pandemic, governments from countries all over the world have enforced multiple executive orders in the hopes of flattening the curve or halting the spread of the disease altogether. We’ve closed up borders, put up curfews, placed everyone on quarantine. I’m probably not the first to say this, but I’ll say it anyway—the Philippines is not ready for a pandemic. This country is not built to combat disease. Let me elaborate. When the numbers for COVID-19 started racking up, we were not prepared to close down borders. We were not willing to lose our connections—to sacrifice international relations. When the masses were in a panic, all we did was buy out the supplies for alcohol and face masks—and then our frontliners had to make do with whatever they could protect themselves with. Because our citizens did not understand that there were people who needed it more and because our government could not provide enough funds to meet the demands of available suppliers, the people who needed it most were left vulnerable to the diseases they were trying to cure the sick of. When curfews were implemented, those in authority were not prepared to handle the situation—neither were they willing to follow their own rules. This was made apparent when Manila’s police chief was thrown a birthday party that was attended by around 50 people, a clear violation of the law as their region was still under the Enhanced Community Quarantine (ECQ) at that time.

“Stay home, stay safe,” they said. Now that may ring true for some of us—there’s a lot of Netflix shows we have yet to binge-watch after all—but for those who can barely afford three meals a day, this is not the case. The ECQ is effectively a lockdown, restricting movement and operations except to those catering for the population’s necessities. This means that those who work abiding the “no work, no pay” policy are left to sit in their houses and wonder how they are to support their family with virtually no means of doing so. Sure, we have the Local Government Units for that, and in an ideal world this would work out perfectly—people who need it would receive the funds promised in the Social Amelioration Program which ideally would be given out as soon as possible. But we live in reality, where situations like this are used to pretty up a politician’s name for the next elections, where distributing goods takes forever because they have to stamp names on it or because they have to arrange the bags in a certain way for a picture of it. We live in reality, where those who need help are not legally entitled to it and where the homeless are arrested for not having homes, but the transgression of the rich is waved away in favor of ‘compassion’. It’s at times like this that the distance between social statuses become apparent. The Philippines is not ready for a pandemic. We are barely ready for justice and genuine compassion. However it’s not all darkness—throughout this ordeal, we have witnessed people who rise above adversity, people who are truly passionate about serving the Filipino people. We see the Earth healing—the clear skies and blue waters are a stark contrast to the dark clouds and muddy pools. We see nameless heroes doing everything in their power to help the sick, to feed the hungry, and even give shelter to the homeless. We see the youth fighting for what they believe is right, we see them vowing to vote right so that we do not go through the same circumstances again. We see real leaders— those who are in position because they deserve it and not just because they’re famous enough to have it. Amid all the bad, we see humanity. We bear witness to the good and bad alike, and we can only pray to bear witness to a better tomorrow. We can only pray, that for today and for the days to come, may unpreparedness not be the cause of our deaths. S

t u

the t

Yours is the baton. Yours is the bow. This is your show.

model: Martini M. Falco

stylists: Rolyn Java & Caleb Ampadu

photographers: Karl Brian T. Marqueza & Keilah N. Baldomar production team: Hana Patricia Raj E. Hautea,

Ivee E. Manguilimotan, Kiara Nicole D. Villa

& Inocencio John Keith B. Ferrer V

USG

a c g y e L

U nde

d e te r r

words by Lance Christian M. Juarez photos by Karl Brian T. Marqueza

The gruelling demands of the college grind often make us focus only on the things that immediately concern us. It’s easy to submit to our dawn-to-dusk schedules and keep to ourselves, often disregarding just how much goes on in the hallways we brisk walk through. With this in mind, former University Student Government (USG) Executive President Angelica D. Moreño knew exactly what it was like to worry about the bigger picture. Her days revolved around matters that not only involved her, but also affected the hustle of the whole university. In her junior high years, young Gel had this bright eagerness that let her see opportunities outside of academic excellence. Little did she know, she was building a rigid foundation for her future self, one that would be challenged by circumstances she hardly considered possible at the time. “[In hindsight,] high school was a time of self-discovery,” Angelica reminisced.

Angelica explained. And after a slew of campaign speeches, she was welcomed into the esteemed ranks of the USG. The years that followed Gel’s life were patterned similarly, as her working calendar was filled with challenging academic work sprinkled around bustling USG events. As a sophomore, Angelica became the Council Secretary for her college and immersed herself in more org work while she powered through differential equations. In her third year, Gel handled funds as Council Treasurer and examined the nuances of molecular structure. Despite the juggling of responsibility, Angelica nurtured the lessons she learned from the two dimensions of her college life during her hour-long commutes to and from home. Another notable trait of Angelica’s character is how she takes hardship differently than most people. In her words, she is a “pessimistic optimist,” meaning that she views

Not long after the competitions and org work, Gel asserted herself as an outstanding high school graduate. She emerged onstage as valedictorian for her class all the way from her elementary years and to top it all off, she held the positions of Supreme Student Government President, Editorin-Chief, and Citizenship Advancement Training Executive Officer. When asked about what course she wanted to take at the time, Angelica wasn’t entirely locked on a specific field, but fate would answer the question of college for her. The Department of Science and Technology granted only Angelica a scholarship out of her 22 other classmates who also applied. Faced with only two options—Chemical Engineering and Computer Engineering—the scholar had to choose one that would carve a path for herself over the next five years. And so, in June of 2015, a Chemical Engineering freshman entered the university unbeknownst to the person she’d grow to be. Angelica took her time getting used to the bustling hallways and towering buildings like most freshmen. She mostly kept to herself and focused on her studies as she and her mom agreed to Gel dropping extracurricular commitments in her college years. This would soon change as she met with an old friend who turned out to be the first year batch representative of the College of Arts and Sciences and invited her to join the USG. Despite her plans of not joining an organization, Gel accepted the invitation without much thought. After giving a rough list of her impressive high school credentials, she was given the opportunity to run as a first year representative. “I was so speechless, overloaded with information, and all I did was smile and nod not knowing what I should do next,”

Gel believes that leadership is more than delegating work and making decisions; it includes people management as well as communal and individual relationships. She knew this principle well as she served the Lasallian community and taught her peers as much as she could, maximizing the opportunities that came to her in the same way her earnest junior high school self did. Along her term, Gel aspired for a more progressive student community and did her best in upholding the traditions set by those before her. With a tightly bonded team behind her, Angelica made the most out of her term with work seeming more like memories than responsibility. She got used to her title, and weeks of events and activities swiftly passed by—but circumstance had cut her term short. Despite her ability to juggle the load of academics and leadership, Angelica was pushed to her limit in the first half of her term. The shift in her course’s curriculum had made the subjects more demanding and much harder to pass. Due to the higher standards put in place and not being able to weave it with student leadership, it seemed that Angelica knew that she needed to step down from her post. It was at this point that Angelica came face to face with hopelessness and defeat. She carried a great deal of heavy emotions when she stayed at the USG office. Other members at the time didn’t know about her decision and she couldn’t bear the thought of letting them down. “Wala ko na kaya for them,” she remembered thinking. “Wala ko nakaya for myself.”

negative circumstances as more reason to do better. “Hala dapat namian ko pa gid,” she would think to herself. As this mantra solidified into a driving principle during her years in the university, it would be put to the test come her final years in college. Because by then, she entered the Executive Branch. Senior year marked itself as a huge turning point for Angelica. She was bestowed the position of Executive Treasurer and a nagging thought made itself apparent: there weren’t many seniors left around in the USG. “Na-anad kami nga kami ga-manang kag manong,” she expressed. She often put a lot of trust in her higher ups for advice and guidance, but Gel was the senior this time. And as her younger associates looked to her as the manang, Gel valued the sense of community and unity while pressure slowly crept up on her. With her studies ramping up in difficulty, Gel wasn’t entirely sure what to make out of the thought of presidency. ”I never thought about becoming Executive President,” she admitted. But armed with the immense trust in her training and undying support from her peers, she decided to take the mantle despite the looming uncertainty and gruelling challenges that laid waiting in her fifth year of college.

After days of grim silence, Gel eventually revealed her conundrum to herfellow orgmates. The bitter reality bled through the USG office but through the enduring support of those she taught and looked after, she gradually accepted what fate had subjected her to. Angelica pushed forward through the pain and did everything she could for her peers with the little time she had left. In her 2nd State of the Organization Address, Angelica D. Moreño officially stepped down from her post of USG Executive President. The days that followed were filled with more solitude and reflection. She spent the latter half of the year focusing on her studies, but more importantly, putting herself first this time. She would often catch herself worrying about how the org was doing, but as the messages asking for advice or help started dwindling down, she knew that it was truly time to let them go. No matter who anyone is, be it prolific student leader or struggling academic, every student has their own mountains to climb. Overcoming hardship always begins with accepting to face it head on and knowing that one setback does not define nor invalidate how far a person has come. In Gel’s case, it was an opportunity to put herself first after a near decade of student leadership. S

ARTISTSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; HUB

o l B o m o T e r e Yo u h W P l a nt e e r d A

words by Adrianne H. Saplagio photos by Inocencio John Keith D. Ferrer V

Tension. Being the writer and the interviewer, I’ve been taught that I must find a way to relieve tension between myself and the person I am interviewing to allow for a more comfortable and open conversation. But sitting across Sweet, who was already smiling even before she sat down in front of me, I realized that there was no tension to relieve in the first place. So there we were, two strangers in Handumanan Park, one of us smiling due to her innate personality, and the other smiling because her interviewee’s smile seemed so genuine that it was hard not to. Sweet Shaila Lopez, a fourth-year BS Psychology student, has led a vibrant 20 years of life. She describes herself as typical—normal—but after the 46-minute interview I had with her, I would describe her as anything but. Sweet compares herself to a lotus flower as “it rises up from the muddy waters just to see the sun”. During our interview, she notes that lotus flowers bloom in the most unlikely of places. It refuses to accept defeat and it is often associated with unwavering faith. This is an apt comparison as she tends to plant herself wherever she can. She has expressed that she doesn’t want her life to be boring, so she tries a lot of different things. For instance, psychology was not the course she saw herself taking. Yet when asked about it, there she was, talking non-stop about her craft. “Feeling ko bi I can achieve a lot gid in this field and I think the world needs more Psych majors,” Sweet shared. Another brilliant example would be her journey in De La Salle Vivace Strings. Sweet joined the organization as a violin player in her second year of college. Now, that would have been completely normal, except for the part that she didn’t know much about playing the violin when she entered. Yep—you read that right. She impulsively bought a violin, learned the basics, and went straight to the auditions. “Feeling ko to bi ‘may something ko di’,” Sweet recounted. “Feeling ko to ma forte ko ni dason.” And she was right. Fast forward to her fourth year in college. Sweet has parted with her old violin and now plays a new one that she named ’Chickenjoy’ because of her undying love for the said food. She has learned about music theory and how to read notes, which help her greatly with her passion for music. Sweet now thrives in a loving relationship with her boyfriend who ‘brings out the best in her’ and she still remains a

people—they made me blossom,” she shared. “Indi ko man tani gusto mag-president galing sige na lang kay nakita ko nga damo may ga-support sa akon,” she added. As I move to “will-you-miss-this-and-that-when-yougraduate” questions, Sweet flashed me a smile. “Indi man ko sad kay next year ako na ang ma artistic director,” she shares nonchalantly. “Gahambal pa ko sang last nga ‘tani indi ko pa ni last concert. Bisan ma host lang ko basta ara lang ko sa concert,’ dason ma artistic director man ko gali. Indi ko gid gusto nga bayaan ko ni ang Vivace.” It was refreshing to talk to someone who was so open. Someone who smiled so genuinely. Someone who was so content. Sweet is living proof that we can achieve what we put our minds to—living proof that you can take a new path, one where you can find the best of adventures and the most pleasant of companions. And so there you go, Sweet Shaila Lopez, the girl who lives her life by blooming wherever she plants herself. S member of Vivace Strings. Only this time, she went from not knowing how to play, to being a member, to being looked up to by the rest of the members as their very own club president. According to her, it was quite a leap. She still remembers the old her during her first days as a member in Vivace—days where she would only play in the back because she was too scared to be anywhere else. It’s a stark contrast to the present version of her that would take the lead and play in front of a crowd in a heartbeat. “Ka overwhelming kay sang una sa Santuario lang kami dason subong sa MM Audi na and then ga full house na kami subong kag may tickets na,” she said. Sweet adds that life hasn’t been all butterflies and rainbows though: “Kis-a budlay man kay wala kami ka prepare or kis-a kulang music sheets or galibag kami, but we just have to learn from it. Indi nami nga mag count failures because ga open na negativity.” When asked about how she achieved these, all her answers revolved on one thing: support. “Ang naghatag sakon confidence is because I surround myself with blessed

BALAYAN

Al l Ca

r o f t e s y l S ta i s

words by Kynah Rhea B. Fuentes photos by Keilah N. Baldomar

Name every golden thing and notice how people pine after it for precious possession. Aside from gold’s exceptional properties, its old Latin name “aurum” which means “shining dawn” speaks about how pleasing it is to the human eye. Other than this, gold is known to be a catalyst. In chemistry, a catalyst is a substance which increases the rate of a chemical reaction without getting consumed during the process. With the presence of a catalyst, the activation energy is lowered, thereby speeding up the reaction during catalysis. Twisting this into reality, Vera Lamis finds herself searching for her own gold catalyst to hasten success in her life’s arduous journey. Left in despair by someone who has never doubted her dexterity—someone who could be her catalyst—it was difficult for Vera to keep believing that life had something precious in store for her. Her father’s death during her fourth year in high school made her take the risk of being away from home for college.

thought of being left out whenever her friend had a meeting. “Academics should come first before anything else. That’s the policy that [the] volunteers should follow,” she noted. Surprisingly, she shared the same goal with Balayan. Little did she know that Balayan would take not just half of her journey but almost the whole of it. “Balayan is where I found a family,” she would even say. The office’s Volunteers Formation Program helped her develop self-confidence and unfolded the talent within her. Balayan exposed her to a much more engaging outside world, granting her experiences in being a host, facilitator, and speaker during seminars and events. “I learned a lot of things that could not be realized within the four walls of a classroom,” she added. Maybe her aunt was not the catalyst she was trying to look for. She knew deep within that she still had to do more searching. But, could it be the people she was with in Balayan? For the first three years in college, everything went very smoothly—no sweat. But for someone relentless, one is expected to go through tough times. She was in fourth year

“I’m the eldest and probably the one who best understands the situation among my siblings [...] I knew exactly that my mother could not afford to send me to college,” she shared her worries. Fortuitously, she still had someone to rely on who was generous enough to support her dream of becoming an engineer. Could this be her real catalyst this time? To live with her aunt in Bacolod, she was not only forced to depart from Davao de Oro but also to leave the people she dearly held on to—her mother, siblings, and other aunts who emboldened her combative spirit in pursuing the career she has always dreamt of. “They trusted me and I must not fail them,” she asserted. Heading off to college, Lamis never favored indulging herself in any extracurricular activity in the university as she had promised before setting foot on campus: academics is the only thing that should matter. She would always remind herself of this, considering that the tertiary level is a lot more arduous than the secondary. Looking back, she comforted herself with her achievements in high school to reduce the eagerness to squeeze in activities. True enough, she declined every activity that crossed her path. Not until her classmate, who was also a dear friend, decided to apply for a membership in Balayan— the university’s Social Development Office responsible for raising social consciousness and community involvement. What actually motivated her to join was not the yearning to participate in school activities once more, but the

what I am going through,” she admitted, addressing her gratefulness for Manong Randy. However, her sacrifices for Balayan would also justify how she never took the office for granted. She recalled cancelling several galas with her friends just to prioritize some Balayan events. “My supposed to be rest day [on] Sundays is spent for apostolate works and my free activity hours are spent usually for meetings regarding activities to be organized,” she emphasized, not regretting them all. Although she did not make it to the top, she was always grateful that she graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Chemical Engineering degree. She equated the delight of getting an academic distinction to her most memorable experience in Balayan: her participation in the Asia Pacific Lasallian Youth Congress, a Lasallian gathering for Pacific Asia Regional Conference. Vera’s college life has come to an end, but she still has not discovered her golden catalyst. Could it be one of the people she was with or the experiences she has gone through? Taking everything into account, her journey would be stagnant if it weren’t for her own efforts to be better. She needed to do something to keep her world going. And while she tried finding the catalyst to speed up the process, she came to realize that she doesn’t need to continue searching, not even a little. Only she has that power to speed up her own success in life—because the catalyst that she’s been looking for is none other than herself.

college when everything started to be demanding: review classes, thesis, major and professional subjects, and the heavy threats of Perry’s Handbook (literally and metaphorically). “The real horror butted in—expectedly but unannounced,” she said. From ranking first in the Engineering Department Dean’s List to ‘basta pasar lang ah’—all of a sudden, the scenario became novel to her. Maybe it was because she had always been excelling academically since grade school. “I have this high expectation of myself to excel in college too,” she confessed. There, she finally admitted how Chemical Engineering could be so hard but she never thought that she would reach the point of giving up. Had she found her catalyst yet? It seemed like everything was falling, but not where she expected them to land. Despite her academic downfall, she never did blame Balayan for it. “Balayan never forced us to participate, eh,” she stressed. In fact, she was nowhere to be found for several weekly meetings due to paperwork which consumed most of her time. “Fortunately, our formator, though he’s disappointed, he’s not surprised. He kind of knows exactly

“We are all encouraged to be catalysts for better and faster progress that each of us aims to achieve,” she concluded. She is the gold catalyst in her own world of reality. And now she’s all set for catalysis. S

VSO

O nto ne xt

e l h a t go

words by Patrick N. Billojan photos by Angelo F. Despi

Five. That’s not his height, his jersey number, nor his grade equivalent—it’s the number of goals he scored in a single match. Travelling 7.6 miles away from home, Elimona Usman, a Nigerian native, took his first flight all the way to the Philippines with two things in mind—to study and to continue his love for football. Eli may have been trembling with nerves on his way, but by the time he stepped on the pitch, he felt like he belonged. The kickoff Before establishing a solid name for himself, Eli, just like many other athletes, had started from the bottom and scraped his way to the top. You may not believe it, but he was inspired to play football just by watching Youtube videos of his idol, Cristiano Ronaldo. At the age of six, he started to get into the sport little by little through playing with his friends on the street. And before he knew it, the fun turned into a burning passion that made him the formidable player that he is today. Before coming to the Philippines, Eli had already tested the waters. He joined a local football academy, Young Planners Academy, from 2008-2012 and joined a club team, Teap Football Club, from 2012-2013. His decision to move to the Philippines emerged out of wanting free education to lessen his family’s expenses. He also shared that USLS was the only school he was eyeing when he came here to the country. “I was referred to the varsity team [Ceres Football Club] which was one of the well-supported teams in the country,” Eli explained. Eli did not even have a hard time adapting to the country’s settings—other than the food. “I’m not used to eating rice everyday and most of the food here is all new to me,” he affirmed. He also added that the people are good and he doesn’t have a problem dealing with them. Despite being new to the country, Eli wholeheartedly embraced the land’s culture along with its people. The green-and-white journey Being able to play in green and white is what many players really aspire. After all, the Ceres-La Salle Football team has always been considered a top-tier team under the program of Coach Norman Fegidero. Additionally, winning and being a part of a championship run before their final year is the dream of every student-athlete. But in Eli’s case, something else was in store for him. On his last year of qualification, when he was the captain of the team, Eli was not able to participate in the men’s football tourney of

Eli also obtained numerous individual awards such as Most Valuable Player on Smart Cup 2015, Top Scorer on Smart Cup 2016 (where he scored a total of five goals in one game), and Best Defender on Sagay Cup 2019. “I dedicate [the championship cups] to the team as well as the school because it’s the only way I can show my appreciation for the scholarship they gave me. It’s my own way of saying thank you,” Eli expressed. Off to a new pitch These accomplishments would not have unfolded without the due diligence and skills that gave him an initial hint at a lifetime dedication to football. After all the awards he reaped while donning green and white, it may seem that reaching this peak is the endgame. For Eli, however, it is not about the awards, but simply about playing the game that he loves.

Negros Occidental Private Schools Sports Cultural Education. It’s not that he did not want to, but because of the new rule that the organization had passed—foreign players were not allowed anymore to participate in any game. “To me, that should not be a problem because as a player [...] all you need to do is to prepare yourself physically and mentally [...] no matter how good your counterparts are. I still feel bad [for not being able to play during my last year] but then that’s life, just let it be,” he shared. The 22-year-old footer was not able to live that dream; however, he concluded his collegiate sphere on a high note as he played his role in the 5-peat run of USLS in Seasons 35-39.

In his pursuit of football, he has been given an even greater opportunity to keep playing, but this time, on a bigger stage. Usman shared that after his graduation, he plans to continue his football career. “I will have a tryout with the professional teams right after graduation,” Eli stressed. He continued by adding that he has no other plans but to join a pro team like Ceres Negros, Kaya, or Stallion. His endless dedication to the sport really translates through his actions. Usman will surely never forget the accolades hanging on his jersey uniform and the diploma in his hand after finishing Business Administration Major in Operations Management—signs of hardwork and determination from the pitch that he once belonged to. Now off to a bigger stage, these awards will serve as a power plug to electrify his cleats while he works his way through a new pitch that he’ll call his new home. S

Not only that, he also bagged numerous awards with the squad: Ceres Cup 3-peat Champions (2015-2018), Escalante Cup 2-peat Champion (2018-2019), DFL Cup Champion (2017), Smart Cup Champion (2016); Sagay Cup Champion (2017 and 2019), Unigames Champion (2017), and Unigames Third Place (2015).

Personals

PERSONALS

W Wo

e r a f r a shop k r

words by Hezron G. Pios photos by Angelo F. Despi

There is no actual departure from this entanglement— only futility in this continued state. The log of my rivalries keeps on expanding. I am at war. Once, I asked myself: Is it possible to disengage? War is tedious work, and the succeeding episodes are not familyfriendly. Anyone can brush their shoulders against anyone. Then, war ensues. With firm resolve, I suppose it exempts no poor soul from participation. To take or not to take a stand means to waive your leanings. If they impeded your leanings, you had already chosen which side you’re on. So now pick up your weapons. So now breach towering walls. War engulfs everything in its path and the protocol tells you to bypass it, settle it. But I’m getting ahead of myself here. When there is war, there is revolution. Revolutions are not spontaneous; they grow like a child. Revolutions, then, are also born in cradles, some of which are inutile. Revolutions transfigure as much as war could. And for those reasons, we have seen what a revolution does. It’s when the People Power toppled a dictator. It’s when Katniss Everdeen releases her arrow not towards President Snow, but against President Coin. It’s when Nico Robin, a devil fruit user, flees while the scholars of Ohara are obliterated. It’s when the Professor declares the heist as an act of war against the system. What intersects them? Nothing else but war.

There were tough wars and there were wars where you should be the tougher one. That is why you must adhere to your allies: peers, relatives, the beloved ones. They are your first line of defense. It is unwise to set out on your own.

War, and its iterations, is inevitable. At 8, you get to decide whether to bully or befriend the classmate everyone has turned their backs on. His skin color is teased, and he barely survives the day with meager allowance. What do you do? At 14, you get to decide whether to transfer or stay in a private school laden with administrative conflicts. The higher years reference Angry Birds in their amateur paintings for MAPEH class to raise awareness. What do you do? At 20, you get to decide whether to join protests in support of press freedom (or, in fact, any important advocacy aside from this) or stay complicit. What do you do? Ease is nowhere near a war zone. War compels us to do something. Is war risky? Absolutely. Is war a solution? It depends. Is war too foreign for us? Not at all. I am not a veteran soldier but I have fought in innumerable wars. We all have. Knowing about moves and countermoves is more than necessary. There are questions posed and there are answers given. How do you discern the weak spots? Why must the enemy be vanquished? Where is the arena? When should I strike? What is the point in all of this? Deciding about war is war in itself.

the first war I was naive to properly wield my sword. The enemy was cunning. It told me that I was enough. It told me how there was brilliance in me. Soon, the enemy sliced my back open and buried its sword deep. The enemy had stayed victorious for a long period of time until I gathered enough wisdom on how to remove the blade. another war It was a subliminal one. The enemy pitted us warriors against one another. But fortunately, we trusted our worth more than an attempt to shake us. The enemy had to stir something else. The enemy ruined us with a false narrative. A plot that drove us to believe that greatness can be sought when we are divided. That war was devastating and was invisible to everyone else. I felt how alliances shifted. Recovery is gradual. this recent war And ultimately, there was a war against an enemy that was so much bigger than any of us. Its contempt was lethal enough to make us master the art of pretense. Not all wars have been won by brute force. Other wars were claimed by wit. Although the enemy kept its pursuit, we needed not to lay out our offenses. We only had to deflect and deflect well. This war was a game none of us wished we were a part of. My propositions on war are not mere lectures. Almost in the whole stretch of my lifespan, war was there, and it almost became something good due to its repetition. But no, nothing entirely good comes out of warâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;perhaps just a streak of hope. For war annihilates. War bespeaks unforgiveness. War does not bother to acknowledge any of your appeals. Must I imagine myself without a war to confront? That if I could raise the white flag, I should raise the white flag? That I am not the revolution I have been waiting for, after all? I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t intend to classify my style off-brand and disappointing. I intend to be a victor sparing no fighting chance. S

PERSONALS

Fro to

W e r n O th ite m no e r A

words by Starlene Joy B. Portillo photos by Angelo F. Despi

51 51

This is a story about my stories. Just fragments, if I were to be honest. Tonight, it starts with how I find it hard to write. Much like most nights, I cannot seem to follow through, let alone finish. Perhaps because it is easier to just recall beginnings than to wrest with the uncertainty of how things end. In any case, I will carry on hoping that if I tell, someone out there might listen and pass it on. After all, isn’t that what stories are for? What I Talk About When I Talk About Writing As I piece this together, I am surrounded by columns of packed boxes. Paler impressions on walls now trace the spaces where furniture had grown comfortable. Tomorrow, I will be moving away from the first home I’ve known. I consider our move symbolic, seemingly patterned after my college journey’s anticlimactic curtain call: rushed and almost indifferent. The things I have decided to carry with me for these major shifts were mainly brought out by necessity rather than sentiment—a desk, a lamp, and what remained of the pens I picked up in the school hallways. This was a far cry from my attachment towards trinkets that trigger memories. Yet as I sift through stacks of collected magazines, newspapers, and other forms of paper where my words have been previously published, I am reminded of a notion I learned not too long ago. The Six Degree of Separation theory posits that everyone located anywhere in the world can be connected through six or fewer links of association. While I continue to be skeptical of this, it also implies a connectivity to greater narratives. If this proves anything, it’s that the yearning for identity and human interaction never stops. I do not know yet if this was what propelled me to write. Meanwhile, I have spent the last five years trading tales with strangers. If memory serves me right, some of these stories turn out happy. From others, we learn. We hear of loss and sadness, struggles and fright—all these are just small chunks that make up a whole of one’s life. While I know that I have so much yet to experience, sometimes, I cannot help but marvel that despite how miniscule our lives seem against the grand scheme of things, the fragments we choose to preserve end up being powerful enough to endure and even change tides. It has been nearly six months since I have written something I consider remotely significant. Between then and now, believe me, I’ve tried. Ironically, writing is not something that comes natural to me; it is summoned. When it arrives, it is in unexpected surges of energy barreled by an urgency to preserve what others had to say lest I forget—lest we forget. I found that easy. Their stories remain clear and linear because that was how it was told to me. But now, I am left with my own stories. I find it harder to piece together when I have been so used to writing in voices other than my own. Admittedly, I may just fear my own thoughts—or the lack thereof. Was anyone ever this uncertain? I am writing to tell you that someone was and still is.

Perhaps in the process of writing this farewell of sorts, I want to remind myself that the hesitation to pause is something that will always linger. It is normal to question our slowness, but it needs no resistance. Somehow, it might be our subconscious’ way of saying that we have done enough and that we merit rest. The decision to step back and take time should not be antagonized—it should instead be celebrated because of its rarity. I begin to recall a time when my parents told me that at roughly three years old, I would routinely grab whatever piece of paper I could find and happily scribble squiggly lines for hours on end, under the pretense of writing. This was long before I learned how to write, and even moreso, before I learned to love to write. If you were to ask me why I do this and how I knew I wanted it, I would summon this image of a younger, wide-eyed me: filled with an eagerness that needed no justification. Whenever my doubts swell, I look back and hold on to this delivered story. I’d like to think that all roads led her to me now, regardless of how long it took. While I know that this story is far from over, I feel at peace with the knowing that I am where I’m supposed to be. Vienna Waits For You “You write slowly but surely,” a Feature Writing coach declared. I was in sixth grade then. According to memory, I took it as a compliment. But more than that, her words became an unconscious habit that has plagued me since. Whenever I pen something, it has to be done in one sitting: start to finish. First drafts were final because I make it a point to sift through my words as I go along, afraid to commit errors, go back, and start over. Sometimes I wonder if this inconvenient self-correcting method has been a foreboding of how I go about my life. Not sure, just slow.

As I grapple to wrap up this piece, I am once again surrounded by columns of boxes. This time, waiting to be unpacked. My favorite song comes up and it reassures me that I’m doing fine. “You can’t be everything you want to be before your time,” it sings. This story might not be the best of stories. It’s not even far from over, but I’m learning to take it one day at a time. Eventually, I hope that you do too. Because the rest of your life is out there—but don’t worry because it’s not going anywhere. S

In an era where urgency has become a requirement, not picking up the pace feels like a sin. We all scurry to do more in the hopes of being more. Frantic, that we’ll run out of time to prove ourselves. By the book, we are led to believe that personal worth is quantifiable, just like how we spend our lives. People are compelled to race against themselves: speed in mind, but no destination. And every so often, we lose sight of what is essential—maybe that’s why they say to be young is to be reckless.

PERSONALS

J ust J ou r

r e h t o t n r n y E A al n

words by Martini M. Falco photos by Angelo F. Despi

It’s 1 in the morning—I find myself with a mug of instant coffee, my flask filled with water, and a bunch of unopened tabs on my browser. Reveling in the atmosphere of a fresh graduate, I am on the verge of finding myself a suitable job. I told myself before graduating that I might take a gap year or at least rest for a couple of months after college, but a month later, I’m looking for jobs. I just feel like I need to get one to live independently and save hard-earned money—probably get myself a really nice designer. There’s just a lot of materials that I want for myself and to get it, I need to use force and my bare hands. With the life I have, I should be content, yet I’m as starving as a bear. There’s not a thing that could restrain this boy from a middle class family from dreaming big and achieving it, professionally and independently. I just want to live my life the way I wanted it: stable and civilized still. I cannot depend any further on my parents; they have given so much and I have wasted so many of the chances that I’ve gotten. Being an Aries and a middle child, I often get remarks from other people that I am like this, I am like that—that I should be like this and that. Well, this Aries gets what he wants in an instant, and I am really ashamed of it. I must admit that I boss around a lot, I get very competitive in any situation, I bag every argument, and a lot of other things that make situations worse. I try my best to be the best most of the time. I get pressured by my parents to be my best self as well, and growing up as a middle child really stressed me out. I always stay in the middle, keeping my feet on the ground and my head up in the clouds. I have never been asked what I truly wanted to do in life. I have spent most of my college life surrounded by extremely passionate and hardworking people. And I am very thankful that I have met and been with the people that inspired me and molded me to be the person that I am today. I could not, in any way, cross any finish lines in my life without these people who pushed me to work hard and put my 101% in all the work that I had started. I could literally not see myself succeed in any aspect of my life without them as my backbone in every little thing I do, may it be in art, writing, studies, or socializing. These amazing humans helped me a lot. The clock runs so fast these days; I just feel like I need to hit pause and be in my element for a while. My coffee turned stale as I type and tell you my story. My cat purrs as I yawn in

frustration. I named him Barbara, by the way. He runs back and forth in the living room while I try to finish this entry. I got lost in my thoughts. There is one thing that I could never forget and would always be in my mind and in my heart, and that is to never stop learning. Learning in general. It is so important to feed your brain with new information, new skills, and so on. You need to learn a thing or two almost everyday. Having to learn is a gift. I learn and always seek new things because I want to let other people be informed and encourage them to learn something new for themselves. I would have never acquired such skills if it were not because of the passion, drive, and determination to actually acquire skills. I have never imagined myself to be good at taking photos until I actually held my first camera and from then on, I never stopped taking photos of people and places. It just gives me power to produce a portrait that is authentic and faerie-like. Growing up, I have always loved art. There is no me without art. Art is so important to me and has given me a lot of opportunities to grow and to develop that skill. There are a lot of mediums that art has provided for me to explore: illustrating, graphic design, animating, photography, music, and a lot more. I feel like living in this world without art is just pointless. I just can’t wait to visit the university and look back on whatever precious moments I have had. It’s time for me to grow up and be the adult that I should be. Living sucks, but I’m not complaining about it. You get what you ask for, it comes back doubled or tripled. I would miss having to spend most of my time hanging out with my friends and skipping whatever I have planned on that day—some class that I need to attend to or some stuff that I need to finish—all of that for hanging out. I have had a fun and disastrous roller coaster ride in college, and I will never ever forget it. Now, now. It’s 4:29 in the morning. I should probably turn my laptop off and rest my strained eyes. Until the next journal entry, maybe? S

PERSONALS

AK On

e n i â&#x20AC;&#x2122; r s e h t a y* Memo l

words by Katherine E. Co photos by Angelo F. Despi

57 57

Before anything else, I hope none of you reading this will hold on to any preconceived ideas you might have of Katherines solely based on a John Green book. This particular Katherine—who is silently writing this during the lonely hours of the night, munching on banana fritters and cookies in the middle of the apocalypse, sweating at the thought of telling people how she actually thinks of herself—would like to say she thinks she’s kind of unique. This might have been bolstered by the fact that I’ve personally never met a single other Katherine in my 22 years on Earth (yes, Catherines not included; they are of a different kind) and that almost all other similar offshoots of the name like Kathyrn, Kate, Katelyn, Kathleen, and yes—even Catriona—are simply variants of my name (executes hair flip). Ever had your family members’ names each framed on top of some random digital portraits, complete with their respective etymology, description, and character traits? I remember looking up to mine almost every morning whenever my eyes would hover right above our dresser. My name had Greek origins, and was most commonly associated with katharos, meaning ‘pure’. It also described me as ‘casual and fun-loving’, one who ‘loves peace at almost any price’, one who has ‘intuitive sense’, and a ‘healer of spirits’, among a few more attributes. I grew up looking back to that same description of me (which I have fairly understood to be an unrealistic, subjective association to my name, and not necessarily of myself). But being the stubborn girl that I am (and arguably the Taurus in me), I kept that image of me dear to my heart with the wonder and tenacity of a child. But to hold on to that belief as the years pass by and as more and more troubles greet me has proven to be the most difficult thing I ever had to do to save myself from my own darkness. I was an idealist as a kid. I don’t know why—it’s certainly not the TV or our family set-up at home (or could it be the children’s fantasy books that always ended well?). Nevertheless, I always dreamed of a world filled with perfect peace, goodness, security, happy relationships, and things of the sort. And although I knew perfection outside of God may not really exist, I did hold such high standards for many things. But growing up day after day, year after year, to believe in all these beautiful things I always dreamed of just became harder and harder—it felt like the more life opened to me, the more I got hurt and disappointed. And that kind of spiraled into making me more of a doubter than a believer. I am usually a very trusting person, but being thrown in the real world with only my mind and my intuition to fend for myself really gave me serious lessons on trust that I had to learn the hard way. The world is far from perfect, I remember saying to myself. But perhaps the world wasn’t my biggest enemy yet—I doubted and wrestled innumerable times with two of the most important entities in my life: God and myself. After having the roughest year transferring to a high school with a culture I found extremely difficult to adjust to, my dad—who I considered my most important and trusted mentor—succumbed to the rupture of a mass growing on one of his lungs. Thirteen-year-old Katherine was not ready for everything that came after—to see a loved one having his last breaths, to hear prayers so desperately pronounced out loud for a last miracle, to come to a realization that despite a privileged life, she was

*The only one to be made public (published), that is.

own health-before-acads rule and endlessly disappointing myself, questioning God why I always seem to find a way to hate myself despite any kind of achievement I manage to earn, and just a thousand more frustrations I’m too exasperated to recall. In simpler terms, I run into storms every chance I get. But at the same time, I also met the people I’m certain I will keep in my life forever. I met mentors who genuinely believed in me and who have thereafter permanently changed my life. It was in college where I realized I could do things I never thought I could ever do—like being a good leader, making graphic designs that pleased me (and other people too), being able to write again and be praised for it, and most surprisingly, being a good decision-maker (a skill I naturally sucked at). Though, among all the decisions I’ve ever made in college, joining The Spectrum indisputably had to be the best one—a choice that the naïve, 17-year-old Katherine would never have expected to single-handedly change the course of her life.

not exempted from the worst things this world had to offer. Suffice it to say, since then, she felt a huge, invisible black hole inside of her. She never felt like the same Katherine at all. I remember making the most absurd promises during that time of grieving. Admittedly, some were very tough towards my own self. But that didn’t matter to me anymore. You can never properly fathom the weight a grieving person carries. Never. I did not really have high expectations for life anymore. My once lively vision just got dimmer and dimmer. But if there was one thing that didn’t change—it was my expectations of myself. In fact, they just became inexplicably bigger than I could have handled. They manifested mostly in my academics, a field I consistently excelled in all my life. And despite a part of me learning to let loose, seeing firsthand how my physical and mental health was depleting before me, my stubborn persistence to excel somehow led to me to be the valedictorian of my batch. I could not admit it to anyone before, but it was no reward to me—it was my own version of a punishment, a way of coping through the sadness. I was wrestling with an enemy in the darkness—whom I learned was myself all along. I faintly remember praying—with the little faith that I had left—for college to be a new start for me, a turning point. And if anyone were to ask me now, I’d say it is both the best and the worst thing that ever happened to me. How bad was it that I can confidently say it was the worst? I don’t want to even start with the numerous tearful breakdowns—the distressed non-stop working till the wee hours of the morning, thinking about how I always break my

A broken and struggling adolescent in my own right, I would not have foreseen discovering so much light in a gathering of diverse, equally unique people brimming with talent and creativity, all who were in dark places of their own. To share in a collision of souls, cultures, ideas, and eccentricities gradually gave me courage to explore my own darkness. And it benefited me in ways I could never live long enough to be fully thankful for. Now that I am where I am right now, where only crumbs now nonchalantly lay in place of my quarantine snacks, over and done with five years of going back and forth between Communication and Marketing (despite having no literal diploma in hand, screw Miss Corona) with Spectre duties in between, I realize maybe the darkness isn’t really a place you escape from. I myself thought running away from all my dark places would do the job. It didn’t. Because maybe it was about bringing the light in and letting that light consume you instead. To me, the light was all these beautiful, imperfect people who connected with me in one way or another, whether it was a brief shared moment of laughter or a collection of years of friendship. It’s those bittersweet reconciliations with God whose voice I’d usually shut out subconsciously in the midst of my loudest cries and tantrums. It’s those thoughts that flash inside your head right before you fall asleep, whenever you ask yourself, ‘What am I really living for?’ before you anxiously try to face another day in the next few hours. Looking back at my name printed in bold script, crystallized inside a dusty frame, which I have now retrieved from a storage box after a partial redecoration of our bedroom a year ago, I did doubt who I am, as well as the purity of my heart, countless times. But you know what, despite the doubter I still am, I’d like to keep believing in that image of me. I’d like to keep being stubborn for the rest of my life. And it just feels right. S

PH Press Freedom: A cycle of threats words by Patrick N. Billojan art by Earl John D. Pabular

Who would have thought that writing and delivering news to the people would become a job so dangerous? It is, when you serve people the truth. Media has come a long way. It continues to evolve as time and technology progress. From newspapers, radios, and television to social media, the platform adapts to what is accessible and easy for the masses.

The power that the media holds can shift and change the way we go about and view life. La Solidaridad, the very first newspaper in the country (1889), sprouted during the time when Filipinos were starting to free themselves from their colonial masters. It became the principal organ that moved many Filipinos for almost six years—a newspaper igniting the desires of many Juans to fight for the aspirations of people to life, happiness, and democracy. That’s why many are trying to keep the media’s hands tied, eyes blindfolded, mouths zipped, and ears covered—because the media tells stories that people don’t want to hear.

Press Freedom 101 Press freedom, or the freedom of the media, is a principle that gives different media outlets, whether printed and electronic, the right to communicate and express freely without the intervention of the state. The Constitutional provision on press freedom (Article III, Section 4) reads: “No law shall be passed abridging the freedom of speech, of expression, of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble and petition the government for redress and grievances.” This was enshrined in the 1987 Philippine Constitution, the same year former president Ferdinand Marcos was exiled from the country due to grave misconduct and abuse of power. However, press freedom does not entail unlimited use of print to narrate false information and to detract a person with malicious mischiefs. The Constitution also provides limitations

to the power inherent to the press and its people, for the state also wants to protect other people’s rights and wellbeing. These limitations include: Libel, Anti-Obscenity Law, Invasion of Privacy Law, Law on National Security, contempt of court, and Copyright Law. Press freedom is a basic right for a democratic country—one that caters to the common good. Every citizen has the right and freedom to express views and opinions on public affairs as long as it doesn’t oppress others and is free from malice or any corruptive motives. Letters to numbers The current government has instituted several ways to silence media men who are critical against the administration. After targeting the Philippine Daily Inquirer, the president and his staff waged a judicial intimidation campaign against the news website Rappler and its editor, Maria Ressa, who was convicted of cyber libel along with former researcher-writer Rey Santos Jr. last June 15. The leading TV network, ABS-CBN, was also shut down as the National Telecommunications Commission issued a Cease and Desist Order against the media giant. “Just because you are a journalist, you are not exempted from assassination, if you are a son of a b****,” Pres. Rodrigo Duterte said during a press briefing in Davao City days after he was declared President-elect. This was only one of the many occurences where Duterte threatened journalists when they were merely doing their job. Acts like these mainly target media outlets to silence and filter what they report, especially when it’s against the administration.

Media plays a very important role in our society—it is a cornerstone that binds every citizen. Beyond constructing and pitching news-worthy headlines and reports in a single flash, the endless drop of events and rush of anomalies from every corner makes media more crucial. To be a tool that sheds light and an avenue for voiceless people to be heard—that is the main goal of the media. Information is an empowering tool. An informed public leads to empowered citizenry which develops active and critical masses. The press provides a platform for people to air out their concerns and to hold those in authority accountable. Last May 5, two days after the World Press Freedom Day, the largest broadcast network in the country, ABS-CBN, was shut down amidst a pandemic where information is vital and needed. Don’t you find it odd? That whenever press freedom is on siege, it’s usually at a time when we need media the most? However, this situation also reminds us that it is not only the press that is responsible for truthful information. Yes, it is through them that we learn how to form our own opinions and decisions based on the news that they publish, but it is still upon the citizens to be deceived by absurdity and baloney. It is upon us to protect democracy through citizen journalism. Our own freedom of expression is an aid to the freedom of the press and it is everyone’s duty to withstand these threats. The fight for press freedom still rests on our movements—on the citizens themselves. We had withstood all these attacks and we will continue to do so. S

Furthermore, press freedom was not the only one receiving punches; journalists themselves received them, too. The number of journalists murdered since 1986, after ousting Marcos, now stands at 185, according to the National Union of Journalists of the Philippines. One of these plights lives on the land of Ampatuan, Maguindanao. It has already been 10 years since 58 people, including 32 journalists, were killed and buried during the “Maguindanao Massacre”. What’s aggravating about the act was that this was done in broad daylight on November 23, 2009. All these lead to the decline of the Philippines in the 2019 World Press Freedom Index conducted by media watchdog Reporters Without Borders. The Philippines is now ranked 134th out of 180 countries, one spot lower from its last year’s ranking which indicates that the Philippines is one of the more not-so-press-friendly countries in the world. But during these trying times, these attacks being evidently thrown to our journalists became more as an inspiration for them to deliver truthful information to the public. Importance of media in PH Article II, Section 14 of the Constitution states: “The State recognizes the vital role of communication and information in nation building.”

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The Jeopardy of Being Academically ‘Free’ words by Shan Marc O. Jabagat art by Trizia C. Hassim

“Welcome to a student-friendly school.” Every student should know that this quote is a neverending commitment. A promise that, within the presence of an institution, students and teachers alike are being given liberty to discuss knowledge about certain matters without fear. This core value is embedded among the students, ensuring them to be the next generation of leaders capable of molding the society without oppression. At first, all of these were alright, but now we are in a time where knowledge brings fear, and violence is being presented to incapacitate the value that slowly becomes a privilege to those with power—being academically free.

With that, it is fundamental to know what are the repercussions of being liberated and knowledgeable in the nation where violence slowly fosters are. Courage REDefined In the first few years of President Rodrigo Duterte’s administration, the revival of Reserve Officers’ Training Corps (ROTC) sparked when he himself supported the idea of making it a prerequisite program in the senior high school curriculum as early as 2015. Stressing that the revival of ROTC will “instill patriotism, love of country among our youth”, Duterte urged the House of

Congress to enact the law or he would make an executive order requiring the students to take the program. Three years after he was seated as the president, the House of Representatives in 17th Congress approved its measure reviving the mandatory ROTC for senior high school students, but the senate failed to pass its version of the bill However, numerous lawmakers, organizations, and student activists voiced their disagreement. The College Editors Guild of the Philippines expressed that the abuses and anomalies in ROTC still continue. Even President Duterte himself did not want to take part in it, as he admitted to have pulled a trick to make him look “too sickly” to take up the ROTC program. The ROTC program was eliminated due to the death of Mark Welson Chua back in 2001 after he exposed the abuses presented among cadets in the University of Sto. Tomas. Chua, as a catalyst for reform, shows how ‘patriotism’ should not be instilled in the presence of corruption within the academe. Students are being taught to freely voice out their dissent, not to seclude it within themselves as a result of fear within the institution. If the ROTC program will emerge, the anomalies will still continue considering how the last known incident happened very recently. It was in 2019 when an ROTC Cadet named Willie Amihoy of Iloilo State University was allegedly attacked and killed by his own ROTC Corps. Commander, Elmer Decilao. The Downpour of Threats and Accusations As the administration progresses, so does the visible abuse of power of police and military forces against outspoken citizens. During 2017, Duterte threatened to bomb indigenous schools, directly accusing them of teaching students to become rebels against the country—sparking alarm among human rights groups as the attack would constitute a ‘war crime’. Two years later, Rappler reported that the Department of Education in Davao Region formally closed 55 Lumad schools operated by the SSalugpongan Ta’Tanu Igkanogon Community Learning Center, Inc., ensuring the public that it would not affect its learners as there are least 33 DepEd-run schools adjacent to Salugpongan schools in various parts of the region.

Learning in the ‘new normal’ When the Philippines was nearing its 100th day of community quarantine, raising the banner to become the world’s longest quarantine lockdown period, President Rodrigo Duterte backed up the Department of Education’s move to open classes this August despite the country hitting more than 30,000 COVID-19 positive cases at that time. According to an Inquirer article, DepEd Secretary Leonor Briones stated that regional directors were negotiating with then different radio and television stations to air educational shows. Supporting this strategy of “blended” and “distance” learning, President Duterte eyed purchasing of radios to aid students who lack the technology and circumstances necessary for the ‘new’ learning system proposed by DepEd. However, this approach has been met with criticism from the public, calling out the lack of inclusivity since not all students have the privilege to resume their classes in the pandemic since the country is also facing an economic recession due to misplaced priorities of the government. This push by the Department of Education to continue to conduct classes, since ‘education cannot wait’, has resulted in two accounts of death—one from an accident and one from suicide. Despite the callout from the general public, the government is still firm on its decision to push through with the opening of classes this year. We are currently in a generation where being academically knowledgeable leads to being threatened. The general public has realized that incapacitating what should have been a liberty is the result of those who hold power being threatened by those who know better. As violence becomes a norm in culture, everyone has the right to express one’s belief with freedom and with accountability—but not in the form of abuse that takes one’s humanity. All should realize what the bottomline is: those who hold power should be afraid of those who gave it to them—the people. S

Furthermore, the closure was defended by National Security Adviser Hermogenes Esperon, who assured that the government took necessary measures in protecting the right to education of the children when DepEd closed down the Lumad schools. He also stressed that this will prevent them from their participation in armed conflict as directed by Republic Act 11188, or the Special Protection of Children in Situations of Armed Conflict Act. The order by the Department of Education, made from the threat of the president himself, shows how academic institutions, especially their students, are tremendously affected in areas where rebel groups are present. Lumad children have the least access to education due to their remote location—struggling to cross a river or stream or traveling kilometers barefoot only to reach a DepEd-run school. The importance of having a school for the indigenous community is that the children are given access to their ‘right’ while preserving their culture. It is questionable why the government even took ‘necessary’ measures when there are multiple accounts of threats and military presence connected to them. All of these steps taken by the government are not protecting the rights of the children—but are the result of redtagging.

Congratulations, Class of 2020!

Through all the frustrations and obstacles, YOU MADE IT.

TRUTH REACHABLE ONLINE

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