Nov. 2012

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PARTY Mastering the walk of shame

An ode to Kams (and u of i campus bars in general)

The perks of being single in college

Mortified illini:

embarrasing stories too good not to share


T EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Emily Waldron

DESIGN Caroline Broler Jessica Morrow Austin Baird Minjoo Lee Emma Weissman

ASSISTANT EDITOR Sarah Soenke

STAFF WRITERS Taylor Odisho, Scott Jackson, Scott Gantner, Sarah Soenke, Sam Edwards, Dan Broderick, Christen Grumstrup, Elise King, John Edwards, Lauren Rohr, Taylor Lucero, Melissa Espa単a, Philip Johnson, Imani Brooks, Bailey Bryant EDITORS Amanda Tugade, Elise King, John Edwards, Lauren Rohr, Philip Johnson, Sarah Soenke PHOTOGRAPHER Scott Jackson ADVERTISING For further details, contact us at spreadjournalism@gmail.com

THE SPREAD IS A DIGITAL PUBLICATION OF THE REGISTERED STUDENT ORGANIZATION JAMS (JOURNALISM, ADVERTISING & MEDIA STUDENTS) OF THE COLLEGE OF MEDIA AT THE UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS


RELATIONSHIPS 4 SINGLE AS A FRESHMAN

LIFESTYLE & EVENTS 5 WHY KAMS IS MORE

THAN A DIRTY FRAT BAR

10 WALKING

SHAMELESSLY Walks of shame and how to avoid them

FOOD & RESTAURANTS 24 CAMPUS CHINESE

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Mortified illini Embarrasing stories from students

Grading and reviewing local Chinese restaurants

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THANKSGIVING

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A VEGAN

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THE ILLINOIS BAR SCENE

Recipes

THANKGIVING

SPORTS

MUSIC 20 ELIE GOULDING REVIEW 22 OBSESSED:

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INTRAMURAL FLAG FOOTBALL

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CABINET OF CHAMPIONS

CHILDISH GAMBINO

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BAND BREAKUPS

and indefinite hiatuses

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PRESIDENTIAL

00’s playlist

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RELATIONSHIPS

“College boys are a lot cuter,” my best friend would tell me. Months before we were about to start college, this argument constantly came up when we had our girl-talks. The idea of a Katy Perry ‘summer after high school’ romance sounded appealing, and I wanted to make my final summer memorable. I considered this and I crushed, but in the end decided to do nothing about it. I didn’t want to deal with the repercussions of summer dating by leaving it only as that. So, after remembering this piece of “advice” and hoping for the best, I came to the U of I unattached. It was lovely how accurate my friend’s words were. Eye candy was everywhere, and I made a point of telling this to every friend and family member who badgered me about it. But this isn’t why I wanted to start college single. It’s nice to have that steady amount of affection that comes from being with someone who cares about you as equally as you do, and romance is a necessity to life, but not a constant necessity. Being single in college is neutral - something that goes along with that clean slate of being in a new town, surrounded by new people, and testing your new self. These developing relationships are like buildings. You need to start with a solid foundation. That’s where friends come in. Build your connections up and meet new people with the intention of friendship over a love life. They’re more rewarding in the long run and are there for you to fall back on when future lovers’ quarrels arise. Starting single leaves you so many more opportunities than coming tied down, but I’m not knocking going long-distance either. I have a few friends who are extremely happy under these circumstances. In my opinion, crushes are more interesting when you don’t go looking for them, but when they find you. It is a little lonely to walk through the quad on some evenings to find cute couples sitting under trees and sharing frozen yogurt, but those cliché moments will come soon enough.

By Taylor Lucero 4


LIFESTYLE & EVENTS

WHY IS MORE THAN A DIRTY FRAT BAR BY TAYLOR ODISHO We all know what it is, and everyone has a different opinion about it. Some love it, some hate it. For a few, it’s their home away from home. For others, they can’t stand to be anywhere near it. It’s good ole KAMS.

of KAMS, there is no denying that it is a staple for the bar scene on campus. All of this got me wondering what sets KAMS apart from other college bars.

I recently read a blog on the Brew House Blog by a thirtyStudents on campus have a lot something year old guy named of mixed feelings about KAMS. Mark Dent. Dent was on a road I’ve met frat guys who think trip with a friend of his who KAMS is God’s gift to the world, hadn’t been to KAMS in years, and I’ve talked to other frat guys so they decided to stop in for a who may not be KAMS bignight. The experience was nothgest fans, but only go because ing Dent had ever experienced. everyone else is always there. The first observation Dent I’ve met people who aren’t in makes is “the aroma of puke houses who frequently stop in at and High Life.” Anybody else KAMS, and I’ve met others who who has been within twenty feet have never even been there. of KAMS would probably say No matter what anyone thinks the same thing.

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When I asked KAMS owner Eric Meier why this is, he had a few reasons. He talked about how most people treat KAMS a lot differently than they do any other bar. “Rather than throwing a beer bottle out like people normally do, they tend to throw it on the ground,” said Meier. When there are hundreds of people coming in and out each night, all of that spilled beer, blue guys, and vodka adds up. It not only adds up to an overwhelming smell, but it makes for some awfully sticky floors. However, Meier believes if the floors weren’t as sticky as they are, people would be falling everywhere, which is probably true considering nobody goes


to KAMS sober. So, I guess you just have to take the good with the bad.

you can come here looking for a date and it’s really unique along those lines,” said Meier.

But for the couple of things that are bad about KAMS, there really are some good things too. I’m going to be honest, I came into this article expecting to write about how terrible of a bar KAMS is and how much of a mystery it is to me as to how and why Dent called KAMS a “true college bar.” However, after sitting down with Meier and talking to different people about the bar, I began to realize that there is more to KAMS than what meets the eye — or the nose.

To start, there is no denying that people always seem to have a great time when they’re at KAMS, and that’s a selling point Meier prides himself on.

“KAMS is a little bit of everything in that you can come here and dance; you can come here and drink; you can come here and watch your favorite game;

“It’s not necessarily a matter of selling alcohol, because alcohol is usually a part of having fun, but ultimately we sell a fun environment for everyone to come and enjoy themselves,” said Meier. Aside from the alcohol, the diversity of KAMS makes it fun. You can walk into the bar any night and it’s up in the air for who will be there. Of course you can expect the frat guys, the sorority girls, and most likely a few athletes. But there’s also

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the crowd that aren’t in frats, those in clubs on campus, or those who are simply out on a barcrawl. Meier embraces the diversity not only in customers, but in his staff as well. The variety brings people of all groups, ages and houses together to create a common group of Illinois students just trying to have some fun on a Friday night. These different groups create unity and pride for Illinois. The pride KAMS has for the campus it resides on is visible from the outside and is no different inside. Orange and blue are the only colors on the bar’s outside and inside walls. Illinois jerseys, posters, and team photos hang on almost every inch of the walls surrounding the bar. It’s a hot spot among current Illinois athletes, as well as past athletes. There’s a nice camara-


derie between the bar and Illini pride in that sense. Along with being fun and proud, I never thought I would add romantic to the list of adjectives about KAMS. However, after hearing a few of the stories I’ve heard, I don’t think I can call it anything but that. Just before the interview, a friend of mine told me how she knew a girl whose parents had met at KAMS and were now happily married since then. If you ask around, I’m sure a lot of students can share with you the same stories. Meier listed off several employees whose parents share the same story. He also told me about a couple who had recently celebrated their twenty-fifth anniversary by riding in a limo from their hometown of Peoria to KAMS, the place where they first met. The staff draped the basement tables and chairs and set out a candlelit dinner for the couple, the same place their love was sparked twenty-five years ear-

lier. “She was a Theta, he was a Beta and it’s always interesting when they come back,” Meier said. Although a college bar seems like the least of appealing places to meet your future husband, I’m sure a lot of girls secretly hope that the guy they’re sharing glimpses with from across the bar will come up to them and generate the conversation that will possibly, hopefully, maybe turn into a love story. And as cliché as it is, you can’t help but call it cute when it happens, even if it’s at KAMS. It’s moments like those that make KAMS unforgettable and make people want to come back, even twenty-five years after they’ve graduated and moved on with their lives. Even when so many things change, it’s comforting to think KAMS will always be there to come back to. Meier hopes that alumni can continue coming back to KAMS for years to come.

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“With or without me, I want to see KAMS succeed, just because it has had such a long history of success and a tie in into the U of I,” said Meier. The future of KAMS seems to be a long one. The design, the environment, the mission of KAMS hasn’t changed since it opened in 1975. Meier likes that alumni can come back and comment on how little KAMS has changed throughout the years. And I like knowing that I can come back in ten years and KAMS will still be there, next to the Illini Union Bookstore, with that same orange and blue painted bar front, and that all-too-common KAMS signature scent. Like Meier said, “Anyone who has ever been to KAMS remembers the place.” And maybe that’s just what makes KAMS memorable — there’s nothing quite as proud, dirty, fun, diverse, familiar, loud, messy, fratty, or just plain “college-y” as KAMS.


MORTIFIED ILLINI Walk of Shame

Morning Glory I live in PAR and one morning I woke up at 8:54 for my 9:00 class in the Natural History Building. The professor deducts points if you’re more than five minutes late, so I grabbed my backpack and ran to the bus. I got off at the Library and sprinted the rest of the way to class with my backpack half open and all my papers flying out. I’m pretty sure everyone was staring at me, but at least I got my attendance points for the day.”

- Sravya Gourishetti, Freshman in DGS

“I had slept over at my friend’s place and had to leave early, so I was still dressed in my ‘going out’ clothes. This guy came up to me and was like ‘I don’t mean to interrupt your walk of shame, but could you please tell me which way it is to Delta Chi?’”

- Katie Magnuson, Junior in LAS Welcoming Committee “So last year, it was a twoday move in for me. So the first night, I was alone in the dorms and decided to go out with friends and get really drunk. The next day, my mom calls me at 9 am and tells me she’s there. And as I proceeded to walk to her car, I felt the nausea hit and I just launched vomit onto the grass in front of four or five freshmen kids and their parents. I wiped my mouth and told them, ‘Welcome to College’.”

- Eliza Gawenda, Junior in Engineering

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Nap Time

Toga Party

“It was my freshman year during midterms and all my friends were studying hard and pulling all-nighters. I decided that I wanted to be ‘so college’ like everyone else and I stayed up all night studying for my NRES 100 midterm. After my first class, I decided to do a little more studying in the library and sat on one of their giant comfy couches. I blinked and suddenly a woman materialized in front of me. She asked if I was okay, while everyone in the library stared directly at me. I realized that I had fallen asleep, and I thought I had missed my first college midterm. Panicking, I pushed the lady aside, grabbed my backpack and ran for the door, but for some reason my left leg had gone completely numb and I toppled onto the floor. Still panicking, I scrambled to my feet and, limping, ran out of the library. It turns out I had only slept for 15 minutes and was screaming in my sleep.”

“It was toga night of my freshman year. The night began in our all-girls dorm, everyone doing their hair and makeup, planning to go out and come home together. We mixed and mingled at the fraternity party, but all the girls ended up their separate ways. I ended up at the rival fraternity of the guy I had a huge crush on in high school. One thing lead to another and I found myself devising a plan on how to get home. . . in a toga. I called my best friend to pick me up and made a mad dash for the fire escape and hoped for the best. On my way out, my toga got caught in the door. Since fire doors only open from the inside, and I could not pull the toga loose, I was forced to walk down the stairs of the fraternity in my bra and boyshorts. Not only did my friend record this entire affair, but the gentlemen of the fraternity applauded my run down to her car”

THE PICTURES WILL FADE BUT THE INTENSE DISCOMFORT WE EXPERIENCE WILL STAY WITH US FOR THE LONG HAUL.

- ‘Ms. Missing Toga’, Junior in AHS

- Marcin Michniowski, Senior in LAS

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wALKING SHAMELESSLY By Bailey Bryant

Averted eyes, smeared makeup and a body con skirt — all before noon. Everyone’s witnessed, if not experienced, the phenomenon that is “the walk of shame.” Even if you didn’t do anything shameful the night before, these tips will save you from falling victim to a morning of accusing looks and suggestive giggles. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

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v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v

1. Don't wear heels.

4. Avoid dresses.

You might think they’re a good idea at 8 p.m., but twelve hours later when you’re walking home, you’ll be regretting your stylish decision. And no one casually wears heels at 8 a.m. on a Saturday. To look less conspicuous and feel more comfortable, choose flats or sandals.

Jeans and shorts are common at any hour of the day, but cocktail dresses are not. If you’re able to store some alternative bottoms in your bag, skirts can be easily swapped out. Dresses are trickier.

2. Wear an elastic.

5. WEAR A JACKET

No matter how nice your hair looked the night before, by morning you’re going to have bed head. Throw your slept-on-curls into a messy bun, and voilà, you now look acceptable enough to be seen in public.

Regardless of temperature. Mornings are chilly, no matter what the season. Not only will a jacket keep you warm, but it will hide the sequence covered and/or low cut top you wore the night before. v v v v v v v v v v v v v

3. Carry a purse. Make sure your bag of choice is big enough to carry a few morningafter essentials: mascara, a hairbrush and preferably even a pair of soffe shorts or yoga pants. You’ll also need a place to store any gaudy jewelry from the night before.

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When doing “the walk of shame,” it’s important to remember that every person, in some way, can relate to your situation. The frat stars pointing at you have almost definitely sent females home in a similar state, and any woman whose glares seem judgmental — her time will come soon enough. Hold your head high and endure this right of passage with dignity.


Why U of I (in my obviou the Best Nightlife a Coll

By Christen Grumstrup

F

irst and foremost, our bars are just all around awesome. In the real world, bars are fun places people like to hangout, socialize and drink, but you have to actually be like 21 (inconvenient). Here, in our small little world that is Champaign, the bars are all readily available to us at the ripe age of 19, making it easy for even the youngest freshmen on campus to get a not-so-great fake I.D. and still get into their bar of choice for the night. Some of our high school friends that don’t go here, along with noisy adults/relatives that we see on occasion at family parties and such, might not understand wwhy or how the bars in Champaign can let you

inside if you’re only 19. While this can be an annoyingly repetitive topic to discuss with the outsiders that aren’t Illinois students or Alumni, there are really only two ways to handle answering this kind of question. If I weren’t such a wellmannered person, my response to anyone questioning the bars at U of I would probably go something like this: “You don’t go here, so you obviously just don’t get it.” But, because I do enjoy people not thinking of me as a stuck up brat, my actual response on almost all occasions is, “You’re allowed to go to the bars, but you’re not allowed to drink.” This response probably confuses whoever you’re talking to even more

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because WHY would anyone go to a bar if they weren’t allowed to drink? The answer is, they wouldn’t. And so, even though underage students are not technically allowed to drink while out at, say, Red Lion, Kams or Firehaus, doesn’t mean anyone actually follows that rule. It simply means they have their older friend or the random hot guy buy their next round of shots. Duh. Another reason why our bar scene is so awesome, has to do with how unfortunately depressing other schools’ bar scenes tend to be. Take Indiana University for example (Side note: I’m not saying Indiana sucks or anything like that, I’m just saying the bars here are


usly biased opinion) has lege Town could ask for

way better). For starters, to get into bars at IU, you have to be 21 and have like 5,000 other forms of identification. Real talk, they will not let you in if you don’t have a second form of I.D., and that form cannot be a credit card. It must be another picture form of identification. Once you get past the security, the bars aren’t bad; they are just filled with grad students and an older crowd that probably doesn’t enjoy blacking out on the reg (I guess that could be good or bad, interpret as you wish). Even something that is usually as easy and effortless as buying alcohol, they make into a huge freaking deal. I was at IU visiting a friend a few weeks ago, when we wandered into a

liquor store to buy some alcohol — something I’m used to doing in Champaign, and something that usually takes about a whole 2 minutes and not a lot of brain activity. Of course, that wasn’t the case at Indiana. We walk in and the first thing I notice is this doorman checking I.D.’s. Naturally, thinking this I.D. check was going to happen at the counter during the actual process of buying alcohol, I was confused and flustered as to what was going on. Finally, when it was my turn to give the bouncer/doorman/whateverhis-title-is my identification, he checked both forms, stared at my face for an uncomfortably long time and then asked me how to spell my last name, what my astrological sign was and

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who was president when I was born. Needless to say, it was a weird situation and I found myself wishing I were back in Champaign buying alcohol at the Den from the guy who is always wearing sunglasses even though he’s inside. I could go on and on about other schools and their lame bars and their weird age restrictions when is comes to getting inside, but the fact of the matter is this: The bar scene at U of I is one of a kind. And it is the perfect pre-post college preparation for going out in places like Chicago or New York, where you can still get wild, but where it’s probably slightly less socially acceptable to black out every Thursday, Friday and Saturday.


MUSIC


D

espite what emo boys say, breakups can be a beautiful thing. Sohmetimes, you just need a little time off, or maybe just a complete break, where that former significant other will ignore you and give you the ole bird. The Foo Fighters have gone on a break, a hiatus or hopefully have broken up for good. Their music has completely gone into the toilet after 2005, to be completely honest. Now, I’m not the biggest Foo Fighters’ fan out there. I only like maybe a few of their songs that they did in the late 1990’s, so you people can go ahead and call me a jaded blasphemer, but… They turned hipster. It is the truth. They got old. There is nothing worse than seeing a bunch of old men pander to a young audience. As a musician, I’m definitely getting myself a real job after I hit 38 or at least go down a more musical path that will be suited for my old age. That said, The Foo Fighters should not reunite. They should just bask in the glory that they have somehow attained and be grateful for their wealth. Also, look at Blink-182 and their last album,

“Neighborhoods”. It sucked balls. And when it comes to sucking balls, you get what you pay for. I was never a huge Blink-182 fan either, but even I could tell that there was a decline in ability. Green Day should break up too. Just listen to their last two or three albums. Compare those to “Dookie,” “Insomniac” or even “Warning.” Exactly: The new albums are not that good. Old age, money, and major record label influences are clear-cut problems. Now a band should certainly be allowed to evolve and do whatever the hell they want artistically, but sometimes they just do not have the golden touch and the connection to the audience they once had. A great case study would be the band Against Me! These guys were the hottest thing coming up

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out of the punk scene in the early 2000’s. They signed to a major label and put out “New Wave,” which was one fantastic album that certainly strayed from their previous sound. Same thing with The Gaslight Anthem, but with their subsequent albums, I can tell that they still possess a penchant for writing great songs despite not liking the band. Some bands and artists need to break up in order to grow, while others possess that knack to keep creating. Bands like Nirvana and Guns n’ Roses were better as burning stars that went out with a bang rather than simply fading away. Blink-182, Foo Fighters, Ke$ha, Green Day, Weezer and Underoath need to just be satisfied with their accomplishments and go away for a little while — or hopefully forever! People are literally crying over Underoath and the Foo Fighters breaking up. Underoath sucks, and Foo Fighters haven’t been listenable – for true music connoisseurs – since 2003, if even. But screw it; music is for chumps anyway.


By Imani Brooks

why, but I really loved that song.”

While ‘90s music provided the kickstart to our childhood, the ‘00s songs were the real soundtrack to our lives. These songs were with us during our awkward pre-teen years, high school drama and graduation nostalgia. This list was compiled of personal favorites of UIUC students, but I had to add a couple of classics, too.

C “Lady Marmalade” — Christina Aguilera, Lil’ Kim, Mya, and P!nk (2001) Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? Thanks to Lady Marmalade, thousands of underage girls were belting out these inappropriate lyrics nation-wide. Performed by the female divas of the decade, this song about one-night stands turned into the ultimate karaoke hit, which will always lead to that one person who attempts (and fails miserably) at hitting X-tina’s crazy, high vocals.

B “Oops I Did It Again” — Britney Spears (2000) Britney definitely did ‘it’ again with this chart-topping hit, once again securing her title as the pop princess of another decade. Rachael Weed, junior in LAS, who couldn’t mention the song without singing a couple of lyrics, said Spears was one of her first real encounters with millennium music. “Britney Spears was one of the first artists I really listened to,” Weed said. “I don’t know

D “Gasolina” — Daddy Yankee (2004) This deep, thoughtful song not only describes the sex-appealed fembots, but it’s also set to a catchy reggaeton beat that’s meant to get stuck in

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your head. Yesenia Marquez, junior in MCB, used this song to overcome the hardships of middle school safety patrol. “We’d sing and dance to it in the middle of the street,” Marquez said. “It was a stupid song, but that’s why I liked it. It was fun.” E “Mockingbird” — Eminem (2004) Exposing the masses to his angsty 8-mile life, Eminem’s tell-all hit let everyone know about his baby mama drama with ex-wife Kim and his love for daughter Hailie, now 16-years-old. Feeling old yet? F “Irreplaceable” — Beyonce (2006) This is the ultimate break-up song, with its endless recurrences on TV shows, chick-flick movies and your Beyonce Pandora playlist (because you know

you have one). This song either reminds you of the ex you kicked to the curb or fills you up with girl power. Danielle Brown, junior in Media, agrees with the latter. “That song was literally my favorite for the past two years straight,” Brown said. “I love Beyonce, and this song was so good!” G “Far From Home” — Five Finger Death Punch (2009) A dark ballad of lost souls and lost lives, this rock song sets the tone of remembrance and sorrow with its heavy guitars and somber vocals. Despite its gloominess, Rachael Hendricks, senior in LAS, said this was her favorite song because of its meaningful lyrics. “I have it set as my alarm, and I hate alarms, a lot,” Hendricks said.

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‘HALCYON’ ALBUM REVIEW

By: Taylor Odisho

T

he variation Ellie Goulding brings to her sophomore album, “Halcyon,” cannot be denied. She mixes the pop sound we heard on her first album, “Lights,” with an electronic tang on the 13-track album. This electronic inspiration most likely stems from her current boyfriend and electronic musician, Skrillex. The fact that Goulding is able to incorporate these different sounds into a decent album overall is applaudable. However, most of my favorite tracks on the album are the songs that remind me of the simple and beautiful work that Goulding produced on “Lights” - I long for that simplicity. Halcyon opens up with “Don’t Say a Word.” It starts off soft and slow, but suddenly crashes into a sometimes overbearing tracking when paired with Goulding’s soft-spoken voice. This is a problem I have with a number of the tracks. The next song, “My Blood,” immediately starts with a fastpaced beat. It’s more poppy than it is elec-

tronic, which is what makes it work. This is shown by its catchy chorus: “And God knows I’m not dying but I breathe now/ And God knows it’s the only way to heal now/With all the blood I lost with you/ It drowns the love I thought I knew”. I’m excited for what the next track will bring, which is the lead single “Anything Could Happen.” If you are subconsciously singing along to that song title right now, it’s probably because you’ve heard the song in the Dr. Dre commercial for “Beats by Dre” headphones. “Anything Could Happen” is a solid release from Goulding that represents her new sound throughout the album. In the next song, “Only You,” Goulding tries a little too hard to incorporate the different sounds we hear throughout the album. There is a lot of overlapping, from the subtle chorus with claps in the background to an auto-tuned ending that makes me wonder if I’m listening to Ellie Goulding or a new song from Alvin and the Chipmunks. “Only You” is one of my least favorite tracks, but Goulding redeems herself in “Halcyon.” It is one of

Ellie Goulding’s sophomore album, Halcyon, was released on October 5, 2012 by Polydor Records. It debuted at #2 on the UK Albums Chart, selling over 30,000 copies in it’s first week. The album is available worldwide.

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the slower songs on the album, and it sounds like “Your Biggest Mistake” from “Lights.” It is also one of the better tracks on the album. In case you were wondering exactly what a Halcyon refers to, it is defined as a happy and peaceful period of time. And happy I am when “Figure 8” starts playing. When this song was released a few weeks ago, I had it on repeat for at least a week. The enchanting lyrics, “I chase your love around a figure eight/I need you more than I can take/ You promised forever and a day/And then you take it away,” synchronized with a perfect drop in the beat at all the right moments, makes for one of the most solid electronic-inspired tracks on the album. The next song, “JOY,” takes a complete 180 from “Figure 8.” “JOY” starts as a slow ballad with piano accompaniment. Just as it builds progression, and you expect it to turn into another attempt at an electronic track, it returns back to the piano sound it began with, save for the last minute. However, it’s not too much- unlike the next track, “Hanging On”, which again, similar to “Only You”, tries a little too hard in mixing a number of sounds to create one track. Goulding goes from trying to evoke the vibrato of Florence Welch one second to singing mezzo-soprano the next, all leading to an outof-place drop in the beat. The only thing I took out of “Hanging On” is that Goudling has an impressive vocal range, which I wish we heard more of in an indie-sounding setting. Goulding tries again to pair an electronic sound with her soft voice in “Explosions,” but the results are better than that in “Only You.” This song has a simpler sound and simpler lyrics – even mixed with a piano. Although there is variation in the sound, it’s not overwhelming. The next song, “I Know You Care,” is another favorite of mine

– probably because it reminds me of “The Writer,” which is the first song I had ever heard from Goulding. “I Know You Care” evoked as much emotion for me the first time I heard it as “The Writer” did with the same heart-wrenching lyrics, “clinging to me/like the last breath you would breathe/you were like home to me/I don’t recognize the street.” If this song sounds familiar to you, you may have heard it in the trailer for Dakota Fanning’s new film “Now Is Good.” I had so much hope for the last few tracks on the album after “I Know You Care,” but “Atlantis” left no lasting effect on me. I, again, was unimpressed by the overwhelming sounds. “Dead in the Water” is one of the simplest songs on the album. It’s Goudling’s raw voice singing the lyrics I have grown to love paired with a soft melody. As beautiful as this song is, it is a bit morbid, as you can probably tell from the title. This may be why Ellie included a bonus track to follow. “I Need Your Love” combines Goulding’s voice with an electronic track from Calvin Harris. This is one of the best examples of mixing the two sounds on the album, next to “Figure 8.” Overall, I could listen to key tracks from “Halycon” over and over. As a whole though, the 13 tracks did not mesh as well as I would have expected from Ellie Goulding. I like when an album tells a story, like Arcade Fire’s, “The Suburbs.” “Halycon” could have told a beautiful story, but instead I was left with a few moments of confusion, intermingled with content.

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There’s a first time for everything. The Spread’s music staff recalls their first show:

OBSESSED

“Oh shit. It was 2008, I think? Right around spring break. My two friends and I saw this emo band June at the Metro, and the band announced that it was their last show ever. The lead singer of Powerspace, the band that performed right before June, spit in my eye. It was a cherished moment.” -F. Amanda Tugade “[It] was in a dingy old basement with a bunch of sweaty dudes, maybe a few ladies, at the age of 15 or 16 listening to my friend’s band, which I believe was called Rabbit’s Foot. Another band actually impersonated the Wyld Stallyns for their entire set.” -Daniel James Broderick “My first concert was so awesome that I use it as a comparison for all future concerts I attend. In a 15-year-old’s mind, this concert was unreal – free front-row tickets to the B96 Pepsi Summerbash, featuring Natasha Bedingfield, Jesse McCartney and Pitbull, and I was in pop-music heaven.” -Imani Brooks “My first show was when I was 7-years-old to see Kenny Chesney at the DuPage County Fair in the summer of 2000. I remember singing and dancing along to every song. Afterwards, we got to meet Kenny Chesney’s band, and my aunt even got his guitarist’s number. It was awesome.” -Taylor Odisho

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Name: Danielle Brown Major: News-Ed Journalism Year: Junior Artist obsession: CHILDISH GAMBINO aka Donald Glover Favorite lyric: This is from Verse 2 of “Freaks and Geeks” “N**** can’t you tell that my sample of Adele Was so hot, I got these hood n**** blowin’ up my cell? Swag out the ass, I’m the man, fuck Chico Took the G out your waffle, all you got left is your ego Think about it for a second, man we eatin’, where’s your breakfast? Man, you hungry have this sandwich, got my wallet, Cheese and Lettuce” Favorite album: Well, he only has one actual album, six mix tapes, and an EP; I would have to say my favorite is his EP called “EP.” I love his album “Camp,” though that’s in a close second place. Favorite song: My absolute favorite song of his is a three way tie between: “Kids,” “Freaks and Geeks” and “Fire Fly.” However, if I was forced to choose one I would choose “Freaks and Geeks” because it was the song that made me fall in love with his music, and nothing beats that. Favorite body part: I would say his hair because it’s just so cute. Like, he has a really bad hairline, not like LeBron’s, but it’s just adds something to him. It’s like even though he’s “made it,” he still has bad hair days and is imperfect like the rest of us. Main reason for obsession: His music! That’s why I love him. However, he is on a show called “Community;” it’s hilarious! I love him on that, too. But, his music is first and foremost. The first time saw this artist: The first time I saw him was on YouTube when my friend Ryan made me watch his video “Freaks and Geeks.” It was dope; I loved him and his music instantly! The first album you bought was: “Camp” Fill in the blanks: Every time I think about [Childish Gambino], I want to [know him so bad and be his best friend, so we can talk all day and night to each other.] If I met [Childish Gambino] right now, I would say [that I love him, I love his music and can he have a concert here at U of I!]


FOOD & RESTAURANTS

THANKSGIVING RECIPES

By Sam Edwards

Ambrosia salad: No cooking required, plus it has marshmallows (Adapted from a Hahn family recipe and allrecipes.com)

With Thanksgiving around the corner, it’s always nice to be able to add something to the family meal so you’re family stops calling you “that lazy college kid.” So hone your cooking skills, and impress friends and family with these recipes for your feast. Cranberry bar dessert: Because who said there’s such a thing as too many cranberries. (Adapted from Mother Edwards and allrecipes. com) Ingredients: 12 ounce package whole cranberries 1 cup white sugar 3/4 cup water 18 ounce package yellow cake mix 3/4 cup butter, melted 2 eggs 1 cup rolled oats 3/4 cup packed light brown sugar 1 teaspoon ground sugar 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Ingredients (makes 12 servings): 8 ounces frozen whipped toppings 1 cup shredded coconut 1/2 chopped walnuts 8 ounce can fruit cocktail, drained 8 ounce can pineapple chunks, drained 11 ounce can mandarin oranges, drained 3 cups miniature marshmallows 1 teaspoon ground nutmeg 1 teaspoon ground nutmeg *Optional addition: 10 ounce jar maraschino cherries Directions: Combine all ingredients in a large bowl, mix together and refrigerate for 30-45 minutes.

Directions: 1. Heat stove to medium heat, and preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. 2. Combine cranberries, white sugar and water in pan. 3. Cook on stove until all cranberries have popped, stirring occasionally (approximately 15 minutes). 4. When finished, take off heat and let cool. 5. Mix together the cake mix, melted butter, eggs, oats, brown sugar, and cinnamon in a large bowl. Set aside 1 1/2 cups of the mixture; spread the rest evenly onto a 9x13 inch baking sheet, packing it down to create a solid crust. 6. Spread the cooled cranberry mix over the crust. Spread the set-aside mixture evenly over the cranberry mix. 7. Bake until top is lightly browned, which should take about 30-45 minutes. Let cool for 40 minutes until cutting into bars.

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Doesn’t get much easier than that.

Cranberry sauce: You can’t have Thanksgiving without this traditional staple. (Adapted from www.cookingchanneltv. com) Ingredients: 12 ounce bag fresh cranberries 7 ounces caster sugar 3 teaspoons cherry brandy 4 fluid ounces water Directions: Mix ingredients, pour into a pan and cook for approximately 10 minutes (when the berries burst). Let sit for 10 minutes, taste test to see if more sugar is needed. If more is needed, mix it in thoroughly.


Bobo China 404 E. Green St. Quality: B+ Serving Size: B+ Price: A I was first drawn to Bobo because of their buffet. Dining in at Bobo can be extremely cheap and extremely filling with this offer, but if you want better quality, then order your meal so they cook it up fresh. My typical meal at any Chinese restaurant is General Tso's chicken, white rice and an egg roll. That trio runs me $6.90 (before tax) at Bobo China, and that's a great price for the amount of food you get. The serving size definitely fills you up. I can usually knock out the entire meal, but I'm uncomfortably full afterward. Other than the buffet being usually of lower quality, the only negative experience I've had with Bobo is a delivery man yelling at me for only giving him a dollar tip, which I thought was completely reasonable considering there's already a delivery charge added when ordering from EatCU.com. Ordering from EatCU is often a bit annoying for me, but Bobo does offer a $6.95 combo meal on the website that includes your entree, rice, a pork egg roll and two crab rangoon. Now, that's some bang for your buck.

W

hile studying abroad in Rome, some friends and I decided to take a break from the delicious Italian meals and try a Chinese restaurant. While most of my friends loved the food, I thought that it was just mediocre. Now, it's important for me to note that all of the people I went with do not go to the University of Illinois. I told them all that our Italian Chinese meal couldn't even compare to Champaign Chinese. Needless to say, when they returned to that restaurant throughout the semester, I decided to go elsewhere. Now that I'm back in Champaign, let's explore some of the great Chinese restaurants that our campus has to offer.

Image Sources: http://www.flickr.com/photos/benchilada/4114354668/ http://newstudents.dailyillini.com/2011/07/19/budget-friendly-menus-surround-c-u%E2%80%99s-campustown/

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Cravings

Empire Chinese Restaurant

603 S. Wright

410 E. Green St.

Quality: D Serving Size: C Price: A

Quality: AServing Size: A Price: A-

"What's your go-to Chinese restaurant on campus?" is a pretty common question in my life. Several people told me that I needed to try Cravings. I did, and unfortunately, I can't share their enthusiasm. The price is again very reasonable ($6.50 pre-tax for my General Tso's combination plate), but the serving size is smaller than Bobo's. Also, the quality just isn't there. The egg roll was pretty good, but the chicken had very little sauce, and the sauce itself was pretty bland. There just wasn't the spice or flavor that I've come to expect for General Tso's chicken. Even the rice was just mediocre, probably because I didn't have any excess sauce to mop up the rice. Overall, I can't recommend Cravings. It's not a terrible restaurant, but with so many delicious Chinese restaurants on this campus, there are plenty of better options.

Empire has been my Chinese pick on campus for the last two years. I will, however, admit that I've had a bad meal from there on occasion. My best advice is this: Dine in. I've always had a good meal when dining in at Empire; the only bad meals I had were delivered. Ordering online always adds a few dollars to your bill, and any delivery requires a tip for the driver. So get some exercise, keep a couple extra bills in your wallet and take in the atmosphere at Empire. My General Tso's chicken combination plate runs at $6.95 (pre-tax), making it the most expensive of the three restaurants by a nickel. Though the price is barely steeper, the amount of food you get is insane. I always go to Empire knowing that I'm about to get two filling meals--dinner now, lunch tomorrow. The best thing about Empire is that when it's good, it's really good. As I said, I had a couple of sub-par meals there, but most of my meals, including every one I've had this semester, are superb. Even the next-day lunch tastes better than a freshly cooked meal at most restaurants. The sauce on my General Tso's chicken is always the perfect combination of spicy and sweet, and there's always plenty of excess sauce for my rice. (Pro-level Chinese tip: Put all your rice in the excess sauce before you store away your leftovers so that your rice stays moist when you microwave it the next day.) Empire's my top pick. What's yours?

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Thanksgiving doesn’t have turkey: Vegan tips and tric

While one of the first thoughts By that comes to mind when someone utters the word “Thanksgiving” might be a giant turkey in the middle of the dining room table, November is also known as World Vegan Month. With Thanksgiving being a holiday focused on sharing a meal including the biggest turkey found at the store, it can be hard imagining celebrating the holiday when one follows a vegan diet. “The important part of the tradition for me is being with family and eating a lot of food, which I always do,” said Mallory Nasatir, president of the Campus Vegetarian Society. Nasatir has been a vegan for eight years. A vegan diet means there is no consumption of meat or animal byproducts (e.g., dairy, eggs or honey). Many choose the diet for health, environmental and ethical reasons. Veganism is becoming more prominent every day, and grocery stores across the country now offer more meat substitutes than ever before. Because of grocery stores’ advancements, it is now easier for vegans and vegetarians to turn their favorite dishes into something animal-friendly. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), although criticized by the media for their extreme forms of activism, offers many recipes and tips for those beginning a vegan diet, as well as links to websites with recipes and lists of well-known brands that sell vegan products.

Melissa España

It may sound daunting, but, with some patience and research, turning traditional family favorites into vegan dishes can be easy and turn into new traditions to share with the family. Cut out the turkey The most obvious thing to do to turn your meal animal friendly would be to either replace

26

the traditional roasted fowl with something such as Tofurkey, or just cut it out altogether. Nasatir said that the turkey alternatives may or may not taste like the turkey that is traditionally served, but one way to make the taste seem more familiar is to prepare and cook it in a similar way. Margaret Escobar, a U of I alum who now sends her children to the University, has a vegan


to be all about the cks

with a touch of soy sauce, sesame oil or something like that if you want the tofu to bake to a golden brown,” Escobar said. “Bake the whole thing in the oven, basting it a bit.” Other options for main dishes can include pasta dishes or casseroles, and plenty of other options can be found in cookbooks and online. Focus on the small things Often one simple substitution can make a favorite meal into a vegan meal. For example, remove salad dressings that contain dairy; chicken broth can be replaced with vegetable broth in soups; and margarine can replace butter on your mashed potatoes. Desserts are usually the easiest thing to turn vegan by the simple replacement of eggs and milk with soy milk and an egg substitute. Vegan ice cream is also readily available at many super markets.

Thanksgiving tradition that consists of preparing the main dish with crumbled tofu, veggies and different seasonings. Escobar mixes the ingredients together and then drains out the tofu the night before the Thanksgiving meal in a colander with a bowl that is one to two inches less in diameter than the colander. “This sounds not simple since you have to do it the night before, but it doesn’t take long at

all,” she said. “Then on Thanksgiving, you make whatever recipe of vegan stuffing you love ... and remove the lesser diameter bowl from your pressed tofu and fill it in completely with stuffing.” The finished product creates a stuffed semi-circle of pressed tofu, which resembles a lot of the vegan turkeys that are sold in the markets. “You can marinade the tofu

27

Try new things Trying a vegan diet will mean trying a lot of new things, and because Thanksgiving meals usually consist of a lot of family traditions, introducing a new dish to the table might be a little strange. But if the traditional dishes are kept but just certain ingredients get switched around, it can be easy to keep the whole family happy. “If being vegan is something that you really want to do, you can change your traditions to fit what is important to you,” Nasatir said. “As with all new food, it’s important to try different brands and recipes to find ones that you like.”


SPORTS

28

K W F F Te


KEYS to a WinNing Flag Football Team 29


BY DANIEL BRODERICK O

h, intramural flag football, what a wonderful sport for the college wannabes who want the same glory as the real athletes. Long as it may to earn that glory, a team needs a few things.

football. The sport has little to nothing to do with power. Size certainly helps, but speed is the defining factor to winning teams. Speedy players at all positions can allow for more explosive plays downfield, as well as Sean Harkness of the undefeated making those flag belts harder to pull. One missed tackle can lead and perennial playoff-bound powerhouse, TC Williams Titans, to even more chunks of yardage. says that their keys to success on the field are “definitely their Jeremy Ward, captain of the defense and their speed on always contending Soup Nazis, offense.” Speed is absolutely noted that their game plan is essential when competing in flag based upon “tough defense and

“...ype

be then use the short passing game to move the ball on offense.” The short passing game can be extremely deadly. Teams need to use the offensive lineman as a safety valve, especially against a heavy pass-rushing team. A two-yard completion to the right tackle can become a 40 yard touchdown if the player can make a defender miss. If a team is offensively challenged, the short passing game provides more opportunities to run in space, optimize offensive possessions, minimize turnovers, and control the time of possession battle.

30


you would think that half of these eople had never caught a football efore in their lives. Mr. Harkness also adds that “creating a decent set of plays and learning how to catch the ball” will help offenses improve immensely and become playoff caliber. He noted that “some teams that we (TC Williams Titans) have come across have no offensive organization and they’re so easy to beat like that. It’s like chickens with their heads cut off, or simply freshman.” In regard to catching the ball, Sean “the Shark” Harkness said, “You would think that catching the ball wouldn’t be that big of a problem for people in college, but my God you would think that half of these people had never caught a football before in their lives.”

On defense, teams need to be great flag pullers and great pass rushers. Pass rushers should be your quickest and most agile players. Do not waste the position on a slower, larger sized player. Pressure equals turnovers. If a more mobile quarterback is racking up big yards on scrambles and designed runs, use a containment philosophy with your rushers. Turnovers are more likely if the quarterback is forced to use his or her arm instead of feet. Fumbles are pretty much outlawed in the U of I intramural league, so force the throw. Mr. Ward adds “on both sides of the ball that you have to play

31

smart. Avoid the stupid penalties and mental mistakes and you will increase your chances of winning.” Penalties can be drive killers and cost teams games. Great teams will commit a low amount of penalties each game. To be successful, teams need be organized, smart, disciplined, and united in their quest for the championship. Look out for the TC Williams Titans in the playoffs as they are expected to go deep this year, while the Soup Nazis, because of injuries and some new additions to the team, are my pick for 2013 to be the next big powerhouse.


ATHLETIC PRESID

Frustrated with politics? Good. Here’s if i

PRESIDENT: BOB COSTAS You might not consider Bob Costas an athlete, but with the number of sporting events that he’s covered, he has as much claim to the title as the U.S. curling team. Bob already acts like a president. He only wears suits, he has impeccable hair, and he can read tongue twisters off a teleprompter like it’s his job (it is).

VICE PRESIDENT: LARRY FITZGERALD He’s got everything a successful VP needs: Ability to charm sideline reporters, a set of teeth that rival Joe Biden’s in sparkle, and a home state that’s geographically beneficial for his president.

BY SCOTT GARTNER 32


DENTIAL CABINET

s how the Presidential cabinet would look it were made up of athletes. SECRETARY OF ENERGY: RICHARD SIMMONS We won’t need to make any investments in clean energy. Just put Richard’s workout videos on national TV every morning, and Americans will dance their way to work.

SECRETARY OF STATE: ROGER FEDERER Roger always carries himself with grace whether he just lost a tough match or beat the hell out of his opponent. Like America, he’s used to winning. He might not actually be an American citizen, but who could be better at keeping the peace than a soft spoken Switzerlander. I don’t know if “Switzerlander” is the correct term, but Roger definitely supports the excessive usage of “ers”. Potential Disaster: He might bump heads with Ron Paul for trying to “End The Fed”. 33


SECRETARY OF EDUCATION: LEBRON JAMES Haters might protest this appointment on the basis that James never even went to college, but not many superstar athletes appear in commercials telling kids to stay in school. At the very least, imagine a world where every child had the opportunity to learn to throw down 360 tomahawk dunks.

SECRETARY OF DEFENSE: RAY L SECRETARY OF AGRICULTURE: DONOVAN MCNABB’S MOM

She’s the number 1 advocate of making sure growing boys eat their vegetables (but only in the form of Campbell’s Chunky Soup).

As the Intimidator-In-Chief of the NFL’s best defense for the last 16 years, he has a long history of shutting down enemy attacks before they cross the line of scrimmage. How effective are his threats? When the NFL faced a potential lockout, he said, “If we 34

don’t have a seaso how much evil, w crime, watch how picks up.” Just th losing the chance running backs and line slot receivers him very angry. T conveniently deci have a lockout.


LEWIS

on -- watch which we call w much crime he idea of to pummel d closes makes The league ided not to

POSTMASTER GENERAL: KARL MALONE

I know what you’re gonna say, “Are you crazy?! Everyone knows that the position of Postmaster General hasn’t been a part of the cabinet since the Nixon administration changed the United States Postal Service from an executive department to a special agency outside of the executive branch!!!” Well, we’re bringing this one back! Who has more reliable performance than the #2 NBA All Time scoring leader? Obviously, the #1 scoring leader, but only Karl was known as The Postman.

He’ll raise the standard of gas stations to that of NASCAR. Soon all Americans can get a full tank of gas, new tires, an oil change, and a Big Gulp in 22 seconds flat. Side note: From time to time, you might accidentally run over a member of the pit crew, but don’t worry, they’re used to 35

SECRETARY OF TRANSPORTATION: DALE EARNHARDT JR. it. Sub-Side Note: Maybe he’ll bring along Brett Favre to shoot more Wrangler commercials. Sub-Side Note Sidebar: Favre would make a good politician. He loves football (not soccer), America, and jeans that don’t restrict your junk — and sending dick pics to younger women.


Copyright Š JAMS, University of Illinois


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