The Strand - Issue 1 by The Strand

the STRAND VICTORIA UNIVERSITY`S STUDENT NEWSPAPER vOL. 54 iSSUE 1 • sEPT. 3 2012 • WWW.THESTRAND.CA

back to school What does the new semester mean for

student movements across the globe? p. 4

NEWS A glimpse into the year to come The Strand interviews our VUSAC president, Shoaib Alli The Strand: What has being president been like so far? What have you been up to since you were elected? Shoaib Alli: Being President is a really interesting experience. I’m glad to have been elected, to represent the students’ opinion and voice, and that’s what I’ve primarily been up to since April. The summer consisted of meeting admin, going to UTSU meetings, and planning out events with the rest of VUSAC’s commissioners. The biggest thing, since I am one of two Orientation Student CoChairs, is basically planning Orientation Week, along with Carrie Proctor. The two of us are responsible for Orientation, and it’s quite the adventure! (No pun intended, since this year’s theme is ‘Adventure: Victoria Bound’)

for this year? SA: In terms of the year, I think I’m most excited for the Goldring Student Centre to open! We want to do a lot of programming with the Cat’s Eye, and the rest of the levies as well, in order to make the student centre the most welcoming and inclusive place on campus. VUSAC is going to be working with the Dean’s Office and the Bursar to make sure that student groups such as the levies and clubs are all placed accordingly, and all have their fair share of space.

that provide programming intended to make your university experience a better one, and sometimes people simply don’t know about them. We’re going to try to ramp up resources available directly from the VUSAC office, so, providing subsidized first aid training, tickets to Jays games, Raptors games, an income tax workshop later in the year, Victoria Collegebranded merchandise, printing services that are cheaper than going to the library, the list goes on and on. I want to make these services known, TS: What might be some of and getting the word out VUSAC’s greatest challenges there is really important. this year? SA: I think a challenge that TS: How do you plan to bring VUSAC faces every year is your past experiences in clubs making sure that the resourc- and committee into your work es that we provide are actually as president? being taken advantage of. We SA: Of all my experience that have all these awesome clubs I drew on for the VUSAC TS: What are you most excited and other student groups Presidency, I think I learned

the most from when I was the Vice President External. In that role, I was attending meetings with the Dean, the Bursar, the Registrar, the residence building council presidents, UTSU, the Vice Provost of UofT and a host of other people. In addition, the two years I spent as a member of the Orientation Executive also helped me with learning how to read people’s working styles, and managing a team of individuals who all have very different opinions on how things work. In that regard, bringing those two things together—meeting with admin and other students to bring forward Victoria College students’ ideas, and managing a team of diverse people—is what I want to bring to VUSAC this year. It sounds kind of trite, I know, but the work VUSAC does is done by the wonderful Com-

TS: This is the Frosh issue: What advice can you give to Frosh? SA: If there was any advice I could give to first years, it would be advice that I wish I had in first year. Essentially, I would say to not worry. Everyone worries, coming to university out of high school, whether its about grades, or getting involved, or making new friends, or romantic relationships. Most, if not all, of that stuff, will work itself out, and getting involved is one of the easiest things to do! It really complements your academics, and makes your overall experience better. As a soon-to-be four year veteran of VUSAC, I can definitely vouch for this.

FLICKR / NASA’S MARSHALL SPACE FLIGHT CENTRE

CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER

missioners (and soon to be Members-At-Large!), and my job is to simply aid them as much as possible.

What NASA’s accomplishment means to us ASHKAN SALEHI STAFF WRITER

On Aug. 6 2012, the landing of a small unmanned craft on the surface of Mars captured the world’s attention. As the National Aeronautics and Space Administration’s (NASA) rover, named Curiosity, began its long descent into Mars’ atmosphere, the media began its expected scrutiny of the rover’s progress. Yet after its successful landing, many have already started

to forget about Curiosity’s progress and significance. Having landed a manmade machine on another planet is the spearhead of scientific technology and advancement in our modern era. But what makes Curiosity distinct from the four previous rovers placed on Mars is that it will actually be able to determine whether life has existed on Mars, as well as make preparations for future human exploration. Moreover, technological advance-

ments have allowed Curiosity to be equipped with a laser tool that can analyze the composition of minerals; the primary guide for finding whether the planet has ever been habitable. The purpose of Curiosity’s mission is to analyze levels of biological elements such as Carbon, Hydrogen and Nitrogen that may have allowed for microbial life; interpret the processes that have formed its atmosphere and surface in the past; and

the radiation levels present on its surface. Curiosity is a one-ton machine, only slightly smaller than a Mini Cooper in size. As reported by the BBC, along with its laser, it features a camera and even a robotic arm to facilitate carrying and scooping samples. Curiosity’s operation cost has been 2.5 billion dollars and it will be functional for the next two years in Mars’ Gale Crater where it has landed. What does this rover ex-

pedition ultimately mean to us? It may be easy to disregard Curiosity as another space craft that may soon malfunction on its mission. But what is important to note is that Curiosity may very well be paving the way for human footsteps on Mars in the near future. The mineral and atmosphere analysis data that Curiosity will collect can provide us with more knowledge about our dear red neighbor than we have ever had before.

OPINIONS Frosh week instills a culture of competition Academia is about collaboration and cooperative engagement, not bad rhymes and lots of shouting ISAAC THORNLEY So, it’s frosh week again. And what does that mean? Our most immediate concern is that we have only one week before the slow and painful grind of academic life resumes. It also means that once again frat beer will be flowing freely in the campus streets, all with the hopes of attracting young, impressionable fresh frosh meat joiners. It is a week of festivities, exploration, introductions (and heavy drinking), but for many students it is also their first real glimpse of the world in which they will be spending their next four years. They will see the most obvious things first: the excitement and anticipation in the air, the noise on the streets, and of course the massive hordes of college aged kids that roam the streets of downtown Toronto. As the week proceeds the frosh will begin to realize the more subtle aspects of UofT. By now they will have a basic understanding of the geographic limits and divisions of campus. The engineers (a.k.a the loud purple people) hang out

at this lab, the life-sci kids study at this library, the English majors read poetry at this café, and the history majors buy pot in this park. Perhaps though, particularly early on, no division is clearer to a freshman student than the divisions and rivalries between the colleges. For example, at the huge parade during frosh week UofT first years are instructed to blindly point and shout at the people whose t-shirts are a different colour. This whole daylong ordeal unfolds before anyone has even explained to these kids what the colleges are and why they exist. I suppose the point of this whole activity is to strengthen the bonds of early friendships, attempt to provide students with a sense of community from their respective colleges, and to give them something to do other than get wasted and fall off of buildings. Kids get taught little cheers and chants, kind of like at camp, but at the end of the day all they really take away from the experience is the idea that people from other colleges suck. Harmless as this little parade may seem, I be-

lieve it is very significant that the whole culture of competition, that of “us versus them,” is bred into the minds of so many first year students so early into their university experiences. That culture of competition, which no doubt exists in most if not all post-secondary institutions, I would argue, is of heightened intensity here at UofT. The sheer bulk of the campus, the scale of the buildings, the mass of the student body, and the fact that all of it is juxtaposed onto Canada’s largest urban landscape are all reasons why one would expect UofT to be exceptional. However, it is also exceptional in its sometimes off putting level of competition. There is immense value in an individual’s ability to put in effort and hard work; university is tough and of course one wants to do his or her best. But ideally academia is also a collaborative environment, a place of idea sharing, collective and cooperative engagement, and perhaps most importantly a place where a student can expand his or her knowledge base by being ex-

posed to people and places that reflect fundamentally different viewpoints and lifestyles. I should mention that I don’t think the parade should be eliminated from the annual frosh schedule. It is what it is. I just hate thinking that for thousands of first year students their ideas about the colleges of UofT will be in a single afternoon reduced to a few bad rhymes and poop jokes. Although I think one could argue that UofT’s college system serves more of an administrative function than anything else, it is still important to know about. I take issue with the idea that any student should feel bound to any one college and to denounce all the rest. School is costly and we all deserve to get the most out of our experience. If that means “playing the field” and figuring which scenes you like best, then so be it. Get the most out of your school, find what you like best, and don’t be afraid to dabble.

RACHEL JOHNSTON Living at home throughout my university experience was not my first choice. My parents, although open and easy to talk to, can be controlling when they feel the urge to be, and I have a little sister who I love very much but who drives me insane at times. So when it came to choosing which university I wanted to attend, I applied everywhere outside of Toronto. The only problem was that my mother was convinced that the costs of living anywhere other than at home would be outrageous and would only rack up unnecessary student debt — so I also applied to UofT. When I received my acceptance letter the deal was sealed. I was to be a student at the University of Toronto come September. As I have mentioned, this was not what I had pictured. I spent my high school days dreaming of an independent life, living in residence and having the freedom to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, but I accepted my fate and decided to make the best of it. My first

moment of excitement came during frosh week. Victoria College offers students living at home the option to stay in residence and sleep on the floor of an assigned room throughout frosh week, so I took advantage of this offer. It was an amazing week filled with chances to explore campus and to meet tons of great people. The best part about frosh week was that it allowed me a chance to get my foot in the door and start making friends and connections. When the week was over, I returned home slightly disappointed but ready to start classes. This presented a new challenge; it can be very intimidating to sit in a lecture hall with a thousand other students and attempt to make small talk with the person sitting beside you. But intimidating doesn’t mean impossible. As the weeks went on I started recognising faces and running into classmates on different parts of campus, slowly becoming more comfortable and building relationships. By the end of my first year I realised I had some solid friends that I could count on. It wasn’t until the summer after first year that I

started to actually appreciate living at home. I kept in touch with a number of friends from high school who all had to scramble to find jobs when they returned for the summer. This was never an issue for me because I was able to maintain my job throughout the year, working some evenings and weekends. I also discovered that some of my friends had a difficult time moving away, as the ymissed their friends and family. It is a lot of responsibility to live on your own. Looking back, I am actually grateful for my parents’ insistence that I stay at home. I can have free, home-cooked meals whenever I want and if I am too busy to do my own laundry somebody else will get to it. Although I still live with my parents I have been able to gain independence in ways I didn’t think possible, making my own decisions and taking on projects that I may never have done had I moved away. Three years ago I would never have envisioned myself saying this but I owe thanks to my mother for keeping me at home.

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Opinions • 3 Sept. 2012 • opinions@thestrand.ca

The costs and benefits of living at home

EDITORIAL OUR MASTHEAD Editors-in-Chief Pauline Holdsworth Muna Mire Patrick Mujunen News Associate

Sabina Freiman Vacant

Opinions Associate

Sara Deris Vacant

Features Associate

Vacant Vacant

Arts & Culture Associate

Paula Razuri Vacant

Film & Music Associate

Bahar Banaei Alex Griffith Vacant

Stranded Associate

Will Pettigrew Vacant

Copy Associate

Blaire Townshend Vacant

Photo Associate

Thomas Lu Vacant

Art Associate

Sarah Crawley Vacant

Web Associate

Jamie Shilton Vacant

Distribution

Jen Roberton

Editorial Assistants Vacant Contributors John Debono, Molly Farquhar, Warren Goodwin, Rachel Johnston, Jen Roberton, Askhan Salehi, Isaac Thornley, Fan Wu Cover Illustration Sarah Crawley Copy Fiona Buchanan, Ariel Leutheusser, Johanna Lewis, Emma Tennier-Stuart Design Johanna Lewis Special Thanks Fiona Buchanan, Mama’s Pizza

The Strand is published 14 times a year and has a circulation of 2500. It is distributed in Victoria University residences and across the University of Toronto’s St. George campus. The Strand enjoys its editorial autonomy with great relish. Please direct inquiries by email to editor@thestrand.ca. Our office is located at 63 Charles St.W.,Toronto,ON,M5S 1K9. Follow us on Twitter for news and updates: @strandpaper If you follow us, we’ll follow you too.

In Montreal, the movement is more than a moment MUNA MIRE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Quebec. Mexico. Chile. All across the Americas, students are standing up and speaking out. As the student power movement in Quebec continues, CLASSE has shown that young people have a vested stake in what is shaping up to be an unsustainable future. It began with tuition prices, but the strike is about so much more. It’s about joblessness, deep cuts to the public sector, and austerity measures. It’s about privatizing collective responsiblity during hard times —the

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While it is true that people are tired, the primary reason most people have gone off strike is strategic.

outcome of which disproportionately impacts the most vulnerable in society (young folks included). Despite a mainstream media blackout and the extremely oppres-

sive “Bill 78”, the student movement —particularly as it stands in relation to neoliberalism and austerity measures—has staked its claim and has no intention of backing down. At its most impressive, the strike was 300,000-400,000 strong in its demonstrations. Imagine. Students just like you and I decided that they weren’t going to acquiesce to more powerful interests. Those students shut down the city of Montreal during that May demonstration. At the moment, most schools have gone off strike. However, the most recent demonstration this past Wednesday put to rest all doubts about whether or not the movement was here to stay. While estimates of how many people are in large crowds are notoriously tricky to make, people have numbers placed Wednesday’s demonstration at 80,000 people or more. So why have so many schools gone off strike if the movement is continuing? I spoke with Ethan Cox, an organizer and journalist on the ground in Montreal about the situation. He says that while it is true that people are

SEX200 LEC0201 WITH Dear Dr. SexLove, I’ve spent the entire summer waiting anxiously for school to begin! I’m going into my second year, and moving back into residence not a moment too soonyou know how exhausting the ‘rents can get. Well, I’m not just writing to you to express how thrilled I am to moving into Gate House...because I’m not. I’m kind of terrified. Last year I had a room to myself, which affords me plenty of, ahem, “alone time”. Now, Dr. SexLove, I am an individual who needs some time to take care of myself, and the shower just ain’t gonna cut it. But it seems like this may be my only option this year. I’ve been put in a room... with a roommate. I’m sure they’ll be a great friend and excellent Burwash buddy, but what about MY NEEDS?! What do I do? Please help! -Fairly Apprehensive Personnage Dear FAP, It sounds like you were a little spoiled last year! Unfortunately, residence life often involves having to share a very small space with another person. Not only might the room feel a bit cramped, but it can make taking care of your needs challenging. It can also be tough

tired, the primary reason most people have gone off strike is strategic. They are waiting to see what the outcome

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It’s about privatizing collective responsiblity during hard times— the outcome of which disproportionately impacts the most vulnerable in society (young folks included).

of the upcoming election is in Quebec. A new strike vote is set for the 5th of September. Meanwhile, candidates from Québec Solidaire such as Amir Khadir are bringing in an element of electoral engagement to the movement. For Ethan Cox (and I tend to agree), “the important point is the suspension of active striking does not at all mean the end of the movement.” He says that “what’s been built in Quebec is a broad based social movement, and the movement continues.” Keep your ear to the ground.

Dr. SexLove

to begin living with a new roommate after having had a room all to yourself for a full school year, with a door you can close at any time to satisfy your urges. But don’t fret: there are always ways to adjust to new living situations, and to find ample time to work it out like my girl Beyoncé. While the benefits of masturbation are numerous, it is often a taboo subject in our daily social interactions—particularly if you are just getting to know someone. As much as it might make sense to say to your roommate “I’ve got a huge exam coming up and I really need to de-stress right now. Can you give me a few minutes to rub one out?” that might not go over too well. Even if you are comfortable talking about it, it might take some time before you can be that open with a roommate. Also, it might not always be reasonable to ask your roommate just to leave for the sake of your own personal time because, depending on how often you get in the habit of making requests, it might come off as a bit selfish. I would recommend taking an opportunistic approach to this predicament. When you first meet your roommate, find out when their classes are: there are sure to be times when your roommate is in a class and you will have the room to yourself. If your roommate leaves and you are feeling in the mood,

you might have the option to bar the door (in addition to the lock) to prevent them from walking in on you and ensuring you avoid the embarrassment of being “caught in the act”. Actually, you might want to do that even when you are positive that your roommate is in class, cause you never know when they might get out early. Whew, this is stressing me out - I’m so lucky to have my own place! Let’s say you are the type of person who needs to get their rocks off everyday or they can’t sleep. That’s the time that you need to excuse yourself to the bathroom. Sorry, FAP, it’s just gotta be this way. It just might not be all that respectful to your roommate to wake them up to the mellifluous sounds of your heavy petting. Just keep in mind that you don’t have the space all to yourself, and that you need to consider your roommate so that they don’t feel uncomfortable. For example, even when they are out, keep to your side of the room. Before you know it, you’ll be biting your lips and closing your eyes, and taken away to paradise, just like my pals from Green Day. And hey, maybe you can take some time to step out once in a while so that your roommate has, shall we say, equal opportunities?

- Dr. SexLove

FLICKR/ELYCEFELIZ

White like me PAULINE HOLDSWORTH & PATRICK MUJUNEN EDITORS-IN-CHIEF Commentators called it the summer of the gun— again. In media outlets in Toronto and across North America, the almost-daily analysis of the mass shootings of the last several months revealed something deeply problematic about our cultural reaction to violence: when the shooter is a person of color, their actions are automatically assigned to their race at large. Blackness itself is pathologized and held responsible, and after each mass shooting, the media spins its wheels on the same irresponsible questions: what’s wrong with black people? Why are they so violent? In the wake of the Eaton Centre shooting, a prominent Toronto journalist wrote, “Frankly, I don’t much care if hoods want to bump each other off . . . Saves the rest of us a lot of trouble. Hell, I’d even jail the targeted ‘victims’ of gang hits, should they survive the attempted rub-out. Usually, they asked for it.” When the shooter is white, it is always an exception – always a surprise, and always confirmed by quotes from neighbors who never saw it coming. And yet somehow, when the shooter is black, that’s always enough for the media to have seen it coming. Race is seen as a precursor to violence and terrorism—even though Mother Jones reported that only one out of the 60 mass shootings they analyzed was linked to Muslim extremism. Seven were linked to white supremacy. There’s an argument to be made for trying to understand what motivates mass shooters. But it’s an action that is not universally applied—to the point that when a newspaper article attempts to restore some degree of humanity to a shooter in an effort to understand what factors contributed to their crime, it only highlights the depth of the disparity between media coverage of mass shootings perpetrated by shooters of color and those perpetrated by white shooters. After James Holmes shot 71 people during a midnight screening of The Dark Knight Rises in Aurora,

Colorado, it became clear that we’re not comfortable posing questions about what factors give white shooters the ability to go undetected until they pull out the gun. As members of the North American media and society, we don’t often ask why we’re not used to associating acts of mass violence with white bodies. We don’t question whether our cultural insistence that those we label “domestic terrorists” be people of color is contributing to the fact that we never see mass shootings by white people coming, even though they happen all the time. And even when, as was the case in Wisconsin, the shooter is a white supremacist, a member of a neo-Nazi band, and adorned with white supremacist tattoos, we’re still “looking for a motive” to explain why he walked into a Sikh temple and started shooting. We’re so invested in our cultural beliefs about who does and doesn’t shoot up large crowds that we can’t even ask “what’s wrong with white supremacy?”, let alone question how institutionalized racism plays into our understanding of violent act in public spaces. Locating violence and the potential for violence within racialized subjects also provides an easy way out for racist anxieties: rather than having to address systemic social concerns contributing to violence, the Western city/state/nation can fix its problem simply by ejecting the offending “troublemakers” from its territory. As ridiculous as it may sound when our mayor suggests “deporting” those convicted of gun crimes as a solution to gang violence, his statement suggests the existence of a problematic agenda. First, by rhetorically dividing ‘real’ Torontonians from their opposites, the ‘inauthentic’ city dwellers, Ford separates those with the right to the city and citizenship from those who do not. Second, the narrative that gun violence is mainly caused by ‘outsiders’, or more brazenly, ‘immigrants’, stokes the sentiment (helped along by a willing media) that such communities should not only be excluded from civic life, but also subject to more intense, renewed violence at the hands of the authorities in order to root out the source of this pathology.

Meanwhile, journalists and commentators regularly twist themselves into all kinds of pretzels in order to maintain the illusion of Western—and white—moral superiority. In a society steeped in patriarchy, heteronormativity, and white supremacy, we find it unthinkable that a member of our own cultural group could be capable of extreme violence; otherwise, we would have to confront a lot of nagging questions about structural causes of violence that are deeply rooted in our own lives. As a result, media narratives about white mass killers inevitably focus on individual factors in the killer’s life (and particularly the unexpectedness of the event), while racialized killers are examined almost exclusively in terms of their ethnic or cultural groups. What’s more, there’s an unsettling tendency to romanticize the figure of the white male mass shooter by labeling him a “lone wolf”—a phrase which situates this kind of figure into national narratives about cowboys and loners. It makes these forms of violence seem more excusable by formulating the shooters as (disturbingly) ‘All-American’—something which both romanticizes their crimes and reinforces the fact that they ‘belong,’ and therefore shouldn’t be seen as a particular threat. While these forms of romanticization are fairly covert, they give the impression that the shooter was someone who went overboard—but was still ‘one of us.’ When a Muslim commits an act of mass violence, other members of the Muslim community are often asked to distance themselves from not only the act of violence, but their faith itself. Instead of these misled demands, we should call upon white Americans and Canadians to denounce white supremacy, and to think critically about the role of whiteness and institutional racism in legitimizing unspeakable acts of violence. Until our understanding of violence is stripped down and rebuilt from a critical, anti-racist perspective, communities of color will continue to be criminalized, and we’re going to continue to be blindsided by acts of violence that ‘come out of nowhere’. •

Editorial • 3 Sept. 2012 • editor@thestrand.ca

Unpacking media narratives about mass acts of violence

FEATURES Ontario Place overgrown • Jen Roberton •

And that’s surprising, coming from a fair founded on showcasing futuristic inventions. Early experimental demonstrations of the telephone took place at the CNE. Canadians were also introduced to both radio and television for the first time at the Exhibition—television was showcased in 1938, 14 years before it reached the homes of Canadian families. This stands in sharp contrast to the current state of innovation at the Ex. The biggest innovation seen this year was the use of the swan pedal boat from Ontario Place as a flower pot in front of the press building. This doesn’t go without mentioning the most recent bout of experimenting with ‘what can’t we deep fry?’ Battered butter and flower pots aside, Transit City enthusiasts do get a chance to check out the new light rail vehicles that will transport future Torontonians with the much anticipated LRT infrastructure. Criticizing the CNE for its repetitive attractions is perhaps a bit harsh. The Exhibition did manage to recover from the crippling deficit it acquired during the 1990s. It does mix its old carnival tricks and returning vendors with exciting new features. Though they’re maybe not as significant as radio and television, there are still glimmers of ingenuity displayed at the Ex. The CNE’s renewed success is almost a slap in the face to its now desolate neighbour, Ontario Place, which underwent an embarrassingly ineffective revitalization project before closing its doors until 2017. Granted, many of the

ALL PHOTOS COURTESY OF FLICKR/\CREATIVE COMMONS

he overwhelming apocalyptic cry of airplanes flying over the city during the air show dropkicks the out-of-town frosher into the Canadian National Exhibition. Those who have childhood memories of dangerous carnival rides and halls full of shopping options know its secret – the CNE is overpriced and recycles the same attractions every year.

renovations done at Ontario Place weren’t actually completed until midway through the season, if they were done at all, meaning that it is hard to measure the effectiveness of their implementation. The new water slide built in the waterpark, the busiest section of the park on a hot summer’s day, never actually opened. Free grounds admission offered during its last year of full operation in 2011 only created customer service issues. The words ‘free admission’ confused many who did not understand why they had to pay five dollars to go on a rickety ride. The most striking difference between the CNE and Ontario Place was not in the quality of attractions. Guests would often come to Ontario Place over the bridge from the CNE and complain that they had to pay again to go on essentially the same rides. This was particularly true during Ontario Place’s final year of operation, as many of the existing rides were torn down and replaced with supposedly temporary carnival rides in the name of ‘revitalization.’ Ontario Place also lacked the flashing lights and many amenities that the CNE has to offer on top of their Midway. Ontario Place was also once a place where forward thinking was combined with preserving a particular moment in Ontarian technological innovation. The Cinesphere, the world’s first permanent IMAX theatre, was the shining dome of cinematic advancement. Its screen is nearly six stories tall. It is made

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It is in its nature to be inexpensive and easily taken down. It caters to a myriad of guests, ranging from the nostalgic elderly grandparents to their ride-warrior grandchildren. After dark the children dissipate and the CNE becomes crowded with teenagers.

as a means to emphasize the size of the screen and the high definition became a conventional filmic style used by IMAX after the success of North of Superior. The film is from a time when Ontario Place could afford to commission a $270,000 film from IMAX. The low attendance recorded during the 2011 summer season at the Cinesphere as due not only to the poor quality of current films shown, but connected to a larger issue affecting non-digitized cinemas. U2 3D is without a doubt guaranteed to draw in a very small niche audience, which is perhaps why it shouldn’t have been the only feature film shown at the Cinesphere in July 2011. But the cost of transporting film reels and the greater shift towards digital film formats is a factor in the demise of the Cinesphere. Unlike the small downtown theatres that have survived the shift so far, including the Revue and the Toronto Underground, the Cinesphere does not draw in the type of audience looking to watch something on film. The Cinesphere, up until the mid-2000s, used to draw in a lot of film buffs for the 70mm film festival. Instead of banking on this niche, or finding another cinematic speciality to exploit, the 2011 renovations simply introduced the gimmicky ploy of 3D. Having worked in the theatre for two years before the switch, as well as working the revitalization year as the supervisor of the Cinesphere, I can assure you that the amount of additional labour that went into washing 3D glasses (yes, that is what theatres do with the IMAX 3D glasses that you put in bins at the end of the movie) was ludicrous—especially when there were only two people in the theatre watching Bono’s 3D body frolic in front of them to a rendition of the song ‘Vertigo.’ The 3D gimmick has made a comeback in light of home theatres and torrents creating a fiscal crisis at all levels of the film industry. But a money-grabbing gimmick is all it ends up being in most cases. While Ontario Place has gone from a landmark of regional history to a novelty, the CNE has managed to remain novel while providing a little touch of creativity every year. The main distinction between the CNE and Ontario Place is as follows: one is a pop shop that dazzles for two weeks, while the other is in full operation displaying the same attractions for the whole summer. Time and evolution are central pillars separating the CNE from its derelict neighbour. This isn’t to say that the CNE isn’t a yearlong affair. The grounds have events intermittently year round. The Ex occurs at the end of August at the summer’s climactic end. Weeks before, people go down to the grounds for Caribana and the Indy. All these events happen yearly for a short time only, attracting a swarm of guests who want to make it down before they miss it. Ontario Place lacked that sort of urgency. It had to sustain a full season of operation, most often offering the same rides and shows. The films at the Cinesphere would often even be reused for multiple seasons. On top of this, the park had to be open with enough staff to run the place on days when the admissions department tallied less than twenty people entering the park. In recent memory it only closed early due to power outages and the G20. The CNE is still a veritable institution with its own expenses and resources. The buildings that house its administration are permanent, unlike

the tents and rides it organizes. A passerby can watch the construction of the 192 acres of fair, taking place over a couple of days. It is in its nature to be inexpensive and easily taken down. It caters to a myriad of guests, ranging from the nostalgic elderly grandparents to their ride-warrior grandchildren. After dark, the children dissipate and the CNE becomes crowded with teenagers. Ontario Place was once the site of late night shenanigans. It wasn’t always a children’s amusement park, as the space used to draw in crowds of older adults at its music venue called the Forum. The decline of Ontario Place took decades, as the Forum was sold to Molson while Legoland and the maze were torn down. The children’s village is now only a distant memory of non-motorized playground fun. The pods, attached to the same structure as the Cinesphere and similarly praised as an architectural wonder, have been empty for years. The Pods in the past have featured such technological wonders as a full sized replica of the Canada Arm. While the CNE has undergone a steady transition from a world’s fairstyle expo to mixed-use carnival space, Ontario Place in its much shorter history has attempted many more drastic changes and renovations. While the CNE went through its most recent restoration of the Princes’ Gates in 1987, having left most of the grounds alone since that time, Ontario Place has tried too much change in less than a year. The plan was to install a new water slide, a wave pool, point-of-sale machines, a completely renovated 3D cinema, a beach-style concert venue, and an ecolearning centre during the 2011 season. They planned to finish all these projects early on in the summer. They failed to do so. Perhaps the provincial government has learned from its band aid solutions and overzealous goals when it comes to Ontario Place. The park is closed until 2017 while a committee lead by John Tory, the former leader of the Progressive Conservative Party of Ontario, decides what to do with it. In their first report, the commission has adopted a mixed-use model where Ontarians can “live, work, play, and discover along the water’s edge.” Recommendations include hotels, research centres, and other privatepublic partnerships, although the latter part many seem disquieting, as privatization goes against the very model of maintaining an accessible Ontarian history at Ontario Place. Yet the report also says the site should be

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The main distinctions between the CNE and Ontario Place are as follows: one is a pop shop that dazzles for two weeks, while the other is in full operation displaying the same attractions for the whole summer. Time and evolution are central pillars separating the CNE from its derelict neighbour.

barrier-free, open year-round to all, and should feasibly include the iconic Cinesphere and pod structures. It also recommends a joint partnership between Ontario Place and the Exhibition, noting the potential to share access to transportation to the mutually remote sites. Time will only tell what will become of the two venues. For now, Ontario Place sits deserted on its artificial peninsula off of Lakeshore Blvd. The traffic outside its gates is the only sound permeating the entrance. Deep into the park, nature is reclaiming the land. Birds have nested in empty water slides. Trees have fallen, blocking the path along the pond behind the Molson Amphitheatre. The Cinesphere, once the home of innovative film technology, now houses empty seats and dusty 3D glasses. I went by there at night when the Ex was in full swing. The lights and chatter coming from the rides and games made Ontario Place look even darker.

Features • 3 Sept. 2012 • features@thestrand.ca

of a single sheet of vinyl. The theatre is equipped with a 30,000 watt surround sound system. Its most memorable film, North of Superior, is an iconic archive of northern Ontarian life in the early 1970s, which also marks an important moment in Canadian film. The use of aerial filming

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FLICKR/TCMRUBBERNECK

ARTS & CULTURE

FLICKR/CARO11NE

Hot child in the city A guide to places to go and things to see while you’re running wild and looking pretty MOLLY FARQUHAR I’m not ashamed to admit that, frustrated by trying to navigate Toronto, I got lost during my first week at UofT. Moving into unknown territory can be exciting, but most of all, it’s often overwhelming. Fortunately for (conveniently located) students, UofT happens to be in the centre of a city that offers a fantastic variety of things to do, even on a student budget. With so many places to discover, hopefully the following recommendations will jump out at you as suitable destinations to explore. If you’ve managed to take a peek at the immediate surroundings of the Victoria College campus, you’ve no doubt noticed its close proximity to the Royal Ontario Museum

(100 Queen’s Park). Although the thought of spending a day here may seem tedious and academic, it has become a welcome distraction from textbooks for many students. The ROM is home to a copious amount of exhibits, showcasing everything from Ancient Greece to biodiversity. Here’s a tip: the ROM provides a generous student discount. Presenting your TCard will get you free admission on Tuesdays, which is a great way to kill a few hours in between classes, especially for commuter students. If you’re not much of a history person and you’re more interested in the artistic side of things, then the Frank Gehry-designed Art Gallery of Ontario (317 Dundas St. W.) may seem more appealing to you. Students get a substantial discount, but the real

deal is to be had Wednesday evenings, when admission is free 6pm to 8:30pm — perfect for a stroll through the permanent collection. While attending UofT, you’ll no doubt hear about the popular Kensington Market. The area is a common location for many students to spend their Saturdays, although that’s not to say that it isn’t as full of culture and activity during the rest of the week. Located west of Spadina between College and Dundas, Kensington is swarming with vintage stores, coffee shops, and some genuinely interesting characters. Finally, no stay in Toronto, however long, is complete without setting foot in the Annex. This area around Bloor and Bathurst has an abundance of options when looking for a meal. If you’re a fan of interna-

tional cuisine, Thai Basil (467 Bloor St. W.) offers students a refreshing change from their regular meal plan. For those with a sweet tooth, Menchie’s (511 Bloor St. W.) is always a good bet. Much like Kensington, students will always have a new place to discover in the Annex, especially when looking for dinner. It’s no secret that there will be endless places for you to explore while studying in Toronto. Everyone has their favourite destinations, and it’s close to impossible to give the rave reviews they all deserve in one article. Fittingly, “Adventure: Victoria Bound” is the theme for Vic’s frosh week this year. Your time in university is one big adventure — it’s just important to remember that the adventure extends beyond the boundaries of campus.

Dealing with deluge Being out of the loop in this age of streaming, torrents, and on-demand has in many ways . become a disease reserved for the elderly or exceptionally rural. If forced to count the number of times small talk converts to recommendations and vague promises of link-sharing, you might find yourself at something of a loss. Considering the never-ending outpouring of consumable media, you likely always will. This time of year is especially rife with such widespread cultural mania as we meet new colleagues or reunite with old ones. As we are thrust headlong into the vast apparatus of course kits, required reading and three hour lectures, we must ask why we are so prone to this strain of worry over new bands, must-read books, movies of the week, and the ‘best show on TV’. Are these things really worth the hours that they will inevitably devour? Is it worth staying up until two AM to witness adventures in moral ambiguity in the new season of Breaking Bad? Do we really need to read A Song of Ice and Fire before April? These recommendations are simply unsolicited advice. At that, it is advice from outlets which we

wouldn’t consult about anything more serious than what to have for lunch. What’s worse is that now we are letting them dictate our taste – and that is precisely what they’re doing whenever they drop the all too familiar “you’d love [insert any title here].” Didn’t Baz Lurhmann warn me about this? Maybe that was just sunscreen. This deluge is something that comes in from all directions: the media, friends, parents, professors, and co-workers alike. It is omnipresent, and relies on the pressure instigated by being out of the loop, by missing out on some culturally unifying piece of pop culture. How stupid could we be not to know the names of all the characters from The Book of Negroes? You haven’t seen all of The Wire? How do you sleep at night? (Presumably you don’t, because you are also trying to blast your way through Trainspotting, The Hunger Games, the new album from Yeasayer and Woody Allen’s latest flick.) My point is not that these things aren’t worthwhile, or that zeitgeist is a useless phenomenon, but simply that personal taste should prevail in all things. The classics are just as important to catch up on as the new. It can be incredibly liberating

to cast away the anxiety of having missed out, and instead recognize that being a pleasant human being has little relation to being mediasavvy. It is, afterall, only the most unrelenting, obnoxious people that will get on your case for missing out on whatever it is that they believe is essential. There is much to be said for the moderate intake of a few select things rather than the rapid infu-

sion that technology promotes. We shouldn’t allow self-inflicted pressure to be a hindrance to our studies or social life. We should not allow ourselves to be judged solely on our mastery of the cultural scene. Seeking out and discovering new things can help us to avoid this problem. It is always better to be the one offering a suggestion, than to be the one feeling obliged to take it. •

Arts & Culture • 3 Sept. 2012 • artsandculture@thestrand.ca

WARREN GOODWIN

New books, movies, and music: the rapidly approaching school year means catching up in more ways than one

FILM & MUSIC PHOTO: CHINESEPROPAGANDA.COM

ALEX GRIFFITH FILM EDITOR

t’s more or less taken for granted, or rarely challenged, that American cinema is largely represented by six studios in a basinturned-metropolis by the shore of the Pacific on the 34th parallel North. Hollywood has as much to do with Los Angeles specifically as it does with America generally. But you don’t hear much about blockbusters serving the interests of the coastal elites who make them, unless you listen to rightwing talk radio – and, really, why should you? LA shares a common political and economic framework with Austin, Texas, and Brainerd, North Dakota, so it’s hard to claim the MPAA (which merchandises itself across all fifty states and beyond) is misrepresenting the “real” America. I think Westerners make the same assumption about Chinese movie making. Any film buff knows those top-tier directors: John Woo, Wong Kar-wai (see Fan Wu’s excellent essay on the following page), Jackie Chan – or we know them through Tarantino and Scorsese. But we shouldn’t forget that the kung fu epics and Triad shooting sprees are from Hong Kong and Taiwan. The islands’ films are consumed, but not created and governed, by mainland China. The mainland really means 98% of Greater China (including Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Spadina/Dundas), where an Orwellian gatekeeper called the Chinese Film Group approves or rejects foreign bids for distribution. The mainland is also where a young cohort of filmmakers I’ll refer to as the “Seventh Generation” – may surpass Hong Kong for style and

When exporters become importers How a new generation of filmmakers are taking the reigns in the People’s Republic and why a “mainland Chinese cinema” is an elusive beast box office revenue. I ventured to the Chinese Consulate of Toronto to learn more. OK, so I learned nothing. The Strand is not exactly a household name in the diplomatic community and I probably looked like a Wikileaks agent or someone loafing for press passes (the latter is not entirely untrue). There’s nothing quite like communist bureaucracy: the beige windowless waiting room and the thick glass screen between you and the receptionist; the voicemail greeting telling you to leave a message after the tone and then, after said tone, telling you there will be no taking of messages after all. I was stonewalled, and had to look for other sources. While the Consulate was reluctant to tout its national filmmakers, observers frequently describe China as a market to be “penetrated” or “tapped into.” China-as-a-sexual-conquest is a problematic way of talking about the country, but it’s one of the dominant narratives used by members of the Western film industry, who view Chinese audiences as being receptive to foreign entertainment. Aram Collier, a programmer at the Reel Asian Film Festival, told me the mainland is seen as “one of the last frontiers with a rising middle class.” Of course, India also has, or had, a rapidly growing economy, but the difference is that a majority of Indians are perceived as being happy with their native language film industries, which tend to out-Hollywood Hollywood anyway. “[In China] it’s not just film,” said Aram, “it’s car companies, NBA basketball, MLB baseball, etc. Hong Kong and Taiwan movies are making much more money in the mainland than they do domestically. Even the transition linguistically of many Hong Kong films away from Cantonese is a signal of this.” Hong Kong, though, is not China, in a qualitatively different way than LA ≠ America. Economically, culturally, and even politically, the mainland and the island do not see eye to eye. But the fascinating question What makes Chinese cinema Chinese? might, at first glance,

have a less fascinating answer. Filmmakers, it seems, are taking note of their citizens’ Westernizing appetites. On her Facebook page (yeah, my reporting cuts deep), Chinese-American director Jin Yimeng (Eva Jin) proudly claims she makes films “in the Hollywood way.” Really, this means she makes genre films, including a rom-com called Sophie’s Revenge about a woman trying to get back at her ex, which sounds pretty familiar to us but maybe not to a generation brought up on sanctimonious historical epics and fringe arthouse. Last month, Chinese microbloggers called out the popular show iPartment for ripping off the premise and characters of Friends. In the 80s, Hong Kong set an interesting example by mashing up styles to create a distinctive voice - an approach to incorporating pre-exisiting content which could make a comeback. As far as film production goes, capitalism hasn’t entirely arrived. Han Sanping, head of the Chinese Film Group, is known to his peers as “Master Han” and the “godfather of Chinese cinema,” according to the New York Times. He’s a major director in his own right, helming state-funded biopics on Mao Zedong. His friends probably shower “godfather” on him as term of admiration, but I think it’s doubly appropriate because of the coziness between artists and the Party. The Film Group is a governing agency and production company that calculates its ventures with the West. Maybe as a test-run for future collaborations, Han is now co-producing Keanu Reeves’ Man of Tai-Chi, filmed in Hong Kong and the mainland with both American and Chinese money. The good news is that American studios can take advantage of Chinese locations and grab a piece of the audience. Mission Impossible III and the upcoming Looper, starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Bruce Willis, were filmed in Shanghai (Looper will be recut with more Shanghai scenes for its China release). These opportunities don’t exactly come out of the fairness of the market, however. Chinese

Vice Preisdent Xi Jinping and US Senator Chris Dodd signed a deal in February boosting the annual quota of American films released in China from 20 to 34. The Party’s overall economic philosophy applies to cultural development too: incremental growth and reform at a manageable and fiscally sound pace. There’s also the unshakeable feeling that the special relationship allows China to learn bucketloads from the MPAA. This year, director Han Yan is picking up Yimeng’s mantle in his debut First Time, a crowd-pleasing love story about a young couple. Twitchfilm.com notes it’s “not too serious, not too sentimental,” and quite Taiwanese in style. Again, this makes me wonder: are Chinese filmmakers assimilating other genres into their projects or coming up with a distinctive voice? Dragon Nest: Rise of the Black Dragon (an adaptation of a popular video game) sounds like a Dreamworks franchise in its press notes: it’s animated, adventure- and family-oriented (though the trailer looks too sinister for our G rating), and, though not yet released, has two sequels in tow. Yan Han, Yimeng, and others are part of the Seventh Generation movement, if a tightly regulated system can be really be said to harbour a movement. The last generation, the Sixth, grew up in the 70s and made its mark amongst the capitalist experiments of the 90s. What’s striking to me even from this cursory look at PRC cinema is that the gloom of post-Tiananmen China has faded to the point where “poverty porn” (to use the words of Twitch writer Niels Matthijs) and arthouse are no longer attractive for ambitious artists. The Party’s brand of state-capitalism is a surprisingly good fit for dependable genres like rom-coms and animated sequels. Master Han wants to rake in cash on a Hollywood scale (and why shouldn’t he?), and the MPAA wants that “frontier” middle class market. The bottom line is money, efficiency and, to an extent, giving people what they want. Communism doesn’t come cheap.

ESSAY

That Which Wounds Me: Wong Kar-Wai’s Happy Together PHOTO: KINO FILMS

Hong Kong director Wong Kar-Wai made his name with gangster flics and melancholy romance (sometimes in the same movie). Fan Wu explores loneliness in 1997’s Happy Together. FAN WU STAFF WRITER Iguazu waterfall coming to life from lantern designs, the gorgeous extended scenes of nightlife in Argentina and Hong Kong, and Kar-Wai’s fragmented, almost impressionistic portrait of the romantic arc between two lovers— Ho Po-Wing and Lai Yiu-Fai— played by Leslie Cheung and Tony Leung Chiu-Wai, respectively. The studium, expressed in these disparate ways, is a backdrop for the punctum of the film; it harmonizes with and contrasts against the larger themes that pulsate across the story. The aesthetics and the narrative of the plot, each taken alone, cannot wound or bruise the viewer; they need to be imbued with an idea that would breathe emotional life into them. To that effect, the punctum of Happy Together for this particular viewer is Wong Kar-Wai’s exploration of the many manifestations of loneliness: in the company of a lover, in the aftermath of the loss of that lover, in the uncertainty of

infatuation that dominates a new love affair. In a voiceover in one of the movie’s first scenes, Lai remarks that “Ho Po-Wing always says ‘Let’s start over’ and it gets to me every time. We’ve been together for a while and break up often, but whenever he says ‘Let’s start over,’ I find myself back with him.” The scene prepares us for the entrapment of lonelinesswith-another that both Ho and Lai experience, but experience differently. Lai, who desires a certain romantic stability, despairs at Ho’s frequent infidelities; while Ho, unable to be monogamous for long periods of time, suffocates under Lai’s need. Neither lover realizes that the point from which they would “start over,” after a period of great difficulty, would be the beginning of a well-worn circle in which the end result is always the loneliness of two incompatible people deeply in love with each other. Near the end of the film,

Lai—alone and now determined to break the cycle of unhappiness and abuse—finds work at a slaughterhouse and takes overtime hours “since [he] doesn’t want to stay in the room” where he and Ho lived in Argentina. Lai carries with him a lonelinesswithout-another, bluer in hue and more internal than loneliness in another’s company. As he washes the blood of the slaughterhouse away, the punctum pierces the studium of the scene to infuse the act with a symbolic value that resonates with me. The viewer could see the punctum, then, as a film’s relatability, but that would be a simplification. The punctum— demonstrated elegantly by Wong Kar-Wai’s anti-didactic, richly detailed portrayal of loneliness within love—might better be described as the spark for a relationship in which the viewer is able to analyze the film, but not without the film reciprocating that act of analysis back into the viewer.

Holy Cronenberg, Batman! Canadian filmmaker David Cronenberg thinks The Dark Knight Rises is boring PHOTO: NELSONMANIA/FLICKR

“I think people who are saying The Dark Knight Rises is, you know, supreme cinema art, I don’t think they know what the fuck they’re talking about.” - Cronenberg

JOHN DEBONO STAFF WRITER David Cronenberg is a director I have great admiration for, and I mostly agree when he says that the superhero trend is “adolescent in its core”. However, that does not mean that a film can’t go beyond those roots. Cronenberg’s prime target, Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy, does exactly that. The thing about Nolan’s films is that they have always been more about Bruce Wayne, a character who wears a costume as an outlet for combatting his personal de-

mons. When considering Cronenberg’s filmography, it’s clear that there are a lot of similarities in the protagonists’ character arcs they are most often men who try to fight their impulses or hide from reality. The biggest difference is the extra $235-245 million invested in Nolan. Batman is the type of character that Nolan has been compelled to explore throughout his career, and gives him a platform to tell his stories in a unique way. In an era of digital and 3D films, Nolan has used IMAX cameras to protect

the relevance of film stock in Hollywood. Batman appeals to mainstream sensibilities. What we need is for filmmakers like Nolan and Cronenberg to prevent movies like this from being a source of Michael Bay mediocrity. It is disappointing that Cronenberg would be unable to see the potential to be found in the superhero film. There is truth to his comments, but Nolan wisely uses the superhero to fulfill his own creative ambitions.

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Film & Music • 3 Sept. 2012 • filmandmusic@thestrand.ca

In his book Camera Lucida, Roland Barthes makes this distinction between the studium and the punctum of the photograph: the studium is “a kind of general, enthusiastic commitment ... for it is culturally ... that I participate in the figures, the faces, the gestures, the settings, the actions.” The punctum is the “prick, the mark… the wound which… bruises me, is poignant to me,” or, the element which is capable of “disturbing the studium” of the artwork. In film, the studium is everywhere, and not difficult to notice: every scene contains elements of plot, setting and character that the audience invests in at least minimally. The punctum, however, is highly subjective in nature and rarely found in art. It is more powerful in part due to its rarity. Wong Kar-Wai’s Happy Together (1997) is filled with studia which occupy the viewer’s attention: cinematographer Christopher Doyle’s long shots of the

STRANDED So your father/mother/legal guardian sent you to Victoria WILL PETTIGREW HIM?

Today is a new day for you. You’re somewhere new, doing something different, meeting new people and/or you’re reading The Strand, probably because you don’t know what it is but you’re definitely reading Stranded for the wicked banner my ex-girlfriend made for my inaugural issue as supreme writer and eternal editor of this section. I’m gonna tell you ‘bout the way shit goes around here during frosh week. You may pick up campus papers here and there, shove them in your bag, and get pissed when several editions have accumulated unread and you just shrug off reading that article your friend wrote. They’re all like “Moving to Toronto” and “Frosh Survival” and in all actuality there is probably some real valuable content in them which you should read. Nothing like that follows. The Strand: Victoria College in Victoria University at the University of Toronto’s (otherwise known as Vic or I-shoulda-went-to-UC for short) official newspaper (or hardcopy blog) that is funded by money that in theory comes from the vast wealth of treasure buried under that old tree they make you touch during orientation (do not attempt to dig up the treasure, it’s gaurded by a three headed campus security gaurd). I can’t tell you what it’s like unfortunately, as I gave up literacy when I found out Kanye was an avid non-reader (I just look at the pictures and dictate my articles to Siri) but I’m sure there are some quality words in it. Stranded used to be the humour section, but now it’s just a place where I get to write about bullshit, paste in pictures and reference prominent hip-hop stars, amongst other things. If you read the shit I write, gods help you. A-a-a-a-a-alcohol: Frosh week at Vic is as dry as a can of ginger-ale in the sense that it it says dry but is a liquid. What I mean is, drinking is wrong and evil and makes you fail school and die and don’t do it ever especially during the week where you have no homework. Do not make friends with anyone who is nineteen because they’re probably a deadbeat for going to university a year later than you and they’re definitely not looking for people to drink with having lost all their drinking buddies by moving away. Other colleges: There’s approximately seventy-three colleges in the University of Toronto but only four of them you’ll ever talk about and three of them you will occasionally ackowledge the existence of. St. Mike’s will be your closest neighbour and prepare for hearing a lot of dumb shit being shouted at you for no reason. It sucks, everyone knows, they do it every year, whatever, relax. It stops after like four days and when you realize you all go to class in Sid Smith anyways. Someone will probably tell you Trin people are rich and stuck up and creepy and eat in robes and stuff but then I challenge that person to actually point out a Trin student because I still have never seen one and can’t

be sure of their existence. People will probably go to pretty weird lengths to stereotype the other colleges but the truth is they’re alright. The Vic Bubble: This is the most popular buzzword ever on campus. Hint: the Vic bubble is campus. The Vic bubble is the small area between Queen’s Park, Bay Street, Bloor Street and the lawn between Lower Burwash and St. Mike’s. This is the only place you ever need to be, ever. Never leave, never meet anyone from outside. It’s actually in the constitution that “if the bubble ever shall be burst, chaos shall regin for millenia to come.” If you have to leave, remember to bring a respirator, stay off the public transit and remember that north of Bloor is York Region, west of Bathurst is Etobicoke and east of Bay is shitty. Note: I’ve never had any issues going to the liquor store and back, there must be some kind of divine providence protecting the route. Making Friends: see alcohol. Knockin’ boots: see alcohol. Class: This is the kicker. There is absolutely nothing I can do to prepare you for the onslaught of absolute misery you are about to endure. I bet you didn’t know that Marx and Freud have something to do with absolutely fucking everything. I also bet you’ve never met someone who has read The Communist Manifesto or anything by Nietzsche. Also, everything is post now if you haven’t heard. Everything is over and everything is what happens after it’s already over; it’s great. You should name drop German philosophers at every possible instance to get in the good books with your teacher/peer and/or just circlejerk your already flacid ego until you finish Proust (ie never). I’ve found Kierkegaard to be particularly effective at piquing the interest of potential female partners. If you’re not in the humanities unfortunately I can’t help you but I look forward to doing your dishes. Burwash: DO NOT FUCK AROUND WITH THE BURWASH PEOPLE THEY ARE SAINTS AND YOUR TRUE MASTERS. I MEAN IT. NONE OF THIS “I FORGOT MY T-CARD” BULLSHIT. YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU NO LONGER HAVE A MEAL PLAN. The food is actually pretty solid too. Residence: Trust me, you will probably never live in another place as nice as any of the ones here. I’m actually being serious about this one. Just remember these facts: fun is generally frowned upon after four pm, your dons are probably doing way more fucked up shit than you are when you’re not looking, and always attempt to repair the holes in the wall yourself first (it’s actually not that hard, I hear). Take from it what you will, but if you leave this page with anything leave with this last reminder: you should never judge a book by it’s cover, but it’s totally cool to judge people by the books on their shelves. Don’t believe me? Just wait until you catch yourself doing it.

The official Vic frosh intangible scavenger hunt

See if you can spot them all by the end of the first week of classes! Bonus points for same-instance occurences

Socialist

Post-Capitalist

Nick Mount praise

Social Smoker

Post-Industrial

David Gilmour rage

Social Studies Major

“You need to go to the post office for that”

Someone has probably already asked you if you’re in Kingwell’s class •

Stranded • 3 Sept. 2012 • stranded@thestrand.ca

Welcome to the best eight months to seven years of your life!