Best virtual world games, according to The Strand's most chronically online writer

The consequences of unlimited screen time

As a consequence of being chronically online since the ripe age of six and, hence, not playing outside as a kid, I have developed quite a re ned taste for virtual world games from the early- to mid-2010s. Considering how ugly the Metaverse graphics are, Mark Zuckerberg could learn a thing or two from this list.

Poptropica

★★★ e main draw of Poptropica is its seemingly in nite number of worlds to explore (which I love), but my sheer lack of skill in platform games has dropped Poptropica to fth place in this list. I have ragequit many times in my attempt to beat “Game Show Island” (I still have not yet succeeded). Also, in relation to other games, the character customisation options are lacklustre. e children yearn for the shops…

Club Penguin

★★★

A certi ed classic. “Card-Jitsu” was insanely fun and so were the Secret Agent quests. e quality of minigames in Club Penguin was toptier, and meeting the Teen Beach Movie characters in penguin-form during the summer of 2013 was the highlight of my life. However, I will say that it is genuinely impossible to communicate in any constructive way in this game without being sniped by the moderators. is violation of my penguin-given First Amendment rights knocks an entire star from my rating.

Animal Jam

★★★★

A valiant e ort from National Geographic to teach children about zoology turned into a capitalist hellscape in which the worth of each player is calculated by the number of spikes and den betas in their possession—nothing else could so perfectly encapsulate our present reality. Minigames and adventures are fun, but the most thrilling part of this game is participating in the trading economy (hit me up if you’ve got a purple worn blanket). I will admit, I have roleplayed Warrior Cats on Animal Jam during a dark time in my past. Look, we’ve all been there.

Build-a-Bearville

is was an underrated game, which has constantly been excluded from the conversation, despite the game truly having everything you could want: expansive worlds, entertaining minigames, great character and home customisation, and enjoyable seasonal events. However, you may want to take my opinion with a grain of salt because I had a grand total of EIGHT Build-a-Bears, so I was swimming in Bear Bills— lthy rich (or, in bear terms, part of the bear-geoisie).

Now, before I reveal my pick for best virtual world game, I’ll be giving a shout-out to some honourable mentions that haven’t quite made it onto this list, yet remain in our hearts.

Webkinz: To this day, I still yearn for the Crown of Wonder from the Curio Shop. Side note: I think all my Webkinz are probably dead at this point. RIP!

Innerstar University: e minigames were fun, but one question remains in my mind: Why are American Girl dolls in university? Are they not canonically pre-teens? Are a couple of 18-inch DOLLS outsmarting me?

Roblox: Sadly, I decided not to include Roblox in this list because it’s technically not a game, but rather a gaming platform. Like I said, ol’ Zuck could learn a lot from this list. To be frank, I still play Roblox to this day and continue to beat all the 10-year-olds at Epic Minigames (I am a very cool, well-adjusted adult).

MovieStarPlanet

Unlike other games, MovieStarPlanet did not hide its true money-grabbing character under the guise of family-friendly, educational values; its tagline was quite literally “fame and fortune.” One unique feature of this game was that you could make your own movies, which I enjoyed; however, I was more interested in MSP’s extremely large clothing catalogue and lax censorship rules. When I wasn’t duking it out in the forums after someone called my avatar’s out t ugly, I was keeping up with ghts between high-level players, which probably foreshadowed my interest in celebrity drama. In retrospect, MovieStarPlanet being my favourite virtual world was probably not a great indicator of my childhood morals.