Victoria University’s Student Newspaper Since 1953 Volume 58, Issue 6 November 24, 2015 thestrand.ca
Youth and labour How employers got rid of the responsibility of caring
by Lyra Parks
“Why not six hundred?” Over 600 proxied Victorian votes helped ratify the UTSU’s new Board of Directors structure at the second Annual General Meeting, ending a contentious saga that divided the union down campus lines. page 2
Santa, Billy The Strand’s list of essential “so-bad-it’s-good” (or maybe just good) holiday viewing. page 14
The Eva Holtby lecture series on contemporary culture
Annual lecture series at the ROM hosted Emirati museum curator Sheikha Hoor Al Qasimi, who discussed artistic education, civic engagement, and the Sharjah Biennial, a festival she heads in her home state. page 10
The holidays are just around the corner, and this means different things to different people. For the retail and service sector, it means a hiring spree unmatched in any other season. The industry is preparing to sell furiously and build up profit the way a bear stores up fat, ready to make it through the hibernation period of January and February (that is, until Valentine’s Day hits). What makes this corporate feeding frenzy possible is the in-store workforce that companies amass, which for some organizations, like my employer, means literally doubling their number of frontline employees for the months of November and December. Casually discarding seasonal employees when the retail-death period hits in January is standard
practice, accepted without batting an eye, but nevertheless awaited with bated breath by new hires who are hoping to be among the few chosen to stay on the payroll. This labour status, increasingly uncertain the closer Christmas and Boxing Day loom, is one of the ways in which employers have shrugged off the obligation to provide dependable, sustainable, and dignified jobs. The fact of the matter is that retail jobs suck. Not on principle and not in every case, but on average and across the board, they do. And it’s not the actual labour that is the key offender, but the conditions in which labour is performed. The plight of seasonal workers and their uncertain employment status is just one obvious example. On-
call scheduling systems, which require employees to be available to come in to work should they be needed, but do not actually guarantee pay for that period of time, are another. The common practice of distributing shifts across widely varying times and days often makes it difficult to plan one’s life outside of work. There is the fact that many shifts are intentionally just short enough to avoid being legally obligated to give the employee anything more than a 15-minute break. There is the much-debated minimum wage, which, paired with the scarcity of full-time retail work, often necessitates having more than one job to fully support oneself. cont’d on page 4 Stranded Report on Business
The Strand buys the Toike Oike
Toronto the cool
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Film & Music
The Strand’s Editorial Assistants discuss Beasts of No Nation in the first edition of Strand Sessions
Our city used to be a punchline. So why, all of a sudden, does everyone want to rep the #6ix? We have an idea. page 5
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News
VicVentures wants to take you on a bike ride across the city Photo | Tagwa Moyo for The Eyeopener
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News • the STRAND
Folks, Folks, Folks:
We have a new board structure Erik Preston | Staff Reporter Whether through social media, casual conversations about student politics over lunch, or even this paper, we have all heard in one way or another about the board structure problem that has plagued our student union for the past year. On November 18, this issue was resolved. An overwhelming majority ratified the proposal put forward by Khrystyna Zhuk and Daman Singh this past Wednesday. But highlighting the events of the AGM, despite how entertaining it was, is not the purpose of this article. Vic’s efforts in finding a board structure that complies with the Canadian Not-for-profit Corporations Act has been sustained, concerned, and successful because of the hard work of so many dedicated Victorians. To the vast majority of the student body at the University of Toronto, the inner workings and day-to-day responsibilities of our student union are a total mystery. The controversies that have surrounded the UTSU have left many asking what they actually do for us outside of providing health and dental insurance. But for some people, these issues have been taking up a good portion of the last year of their life. Bringing the UTSU back into compliance with the CNPCA has been a long and tumultuous process, and now that it’s finished, our student government can get back to doing the things that we students need and want them to do: represent our interests, plan fun events, and create a more equitable and sustainable environment for every student at this university. What deserves attention is the vast amount of work that has gone into this campaign: creating a better, more inclusive experience for all students at UofT. The newly ratified board structure is, with a few amendments, what was selected by students at the AGM in October over a competing UTM-favourable proposal by Grayce Slobodian. The structure allows for general equity directors (as opposed to the issue-specific portfolios of Slobodian’s proposal), who confront issues related to their expertise on a case-by-case basis. To bring the UTSU into compliance with CNPCA regulations, college and professional faculty directors will be elected within their respective communities and then be subject to ratification by an annual ratification meeting of all members. A further amendment that was proposed by VCU member Jonathan Webb and Victoria College Director Auni Ahsan at Wednesday’s second meeting moved to do away with two Arts & Science At-Large director positions, instead creating six academic directors (humanities, social sciences, computer science, life sciences, physical and
VUSAC Members William Cuddy, Claire Wilkins, and Stuart Norton hold up sheets that represent their 11 proxy votes during the second UTSU Annual General Meeting, held on Wednesday, November 18. Photo by Erik Preston mathematical sciences, and Rotman commerce). This amendment was adopted, and is now a part of the new board structure. The proposal put forward by Zhuk and Singh was originally a collaboration between directors and student government leaders from the St. George and Mississauga campuses. However, several days before the last AGM, these bilateral supports broke down and lead to a very short and intense campaign for the election of the Zhuk-Singh proposal. At the year’s first AGM, the proposal was passed by a simple majority, but the split vote between campuses prevented it from reaching the two-thirds majority required for ratification. Given time to prepare, several student representatives sought to prevent the outcome of this previous AGM by working to ensure the ratification of the Zhuk-Singh proposal. A key barrier in the proposal’s ratification in the first AGM was the proxy vote system. In a change from years past, those who wanted their votes proxied (giving their voting power to another person who would be attending) had to register at the UTSU office. After accessibility issues were raised, the second AGM moved to adopt an online proxy system. Victoria College UTSU Directors Auni Ahsan and Steve Warner pro-
posed a goal of 400 to 500 total votes from Victoria College. This lofty number seemed outrageous in comparison to the previous total of nearly 200 at the AGM in October. But instead of causing a sense of discouragement, the failure to ratify the proposal at the last AGM provided cause for a rallying cry: in the words of VUSAC Vice-President of External Affairs Alex Martinborough, “Why not 600?” With this goal in mind, these student leaders sought to do things differently. As Warner pointed out, “Getting people to proxy their vote is different than simply convincing them to vote for you—you have to get them to coordinate their interests with one another to ensure that their vote is used in a manner that they see fit.” As they began to mobilize their group of proxy holders, they pushed each of them to bring at least one more person to the table. Each of these proxy holders was then tasked with spreading the information, attracting more proxy holders, and fulfilling their own maximum quota of 11 proxied votes. For example, VUSAC councillor Carl Abrahamsen proceeded to organise his own floor meetings throughout his residence in Margaret Addison Hall, gaining over 60 proxies and several additional proxy holders single-
Club Spotlight: Vic Ventures
New Vic club hopes to help students explore the city in a safe and active way Yu Xin Shi | Contributor Whether you are a Toronto local or are new to our CNTower-centred skyline, there is always something to discover in this dynamic metropolis. For those seeking an adventure by bike, foot, or TTC, VicVentures is your ideal club. Recently recognized as a VUSAC club and funded by Student Projects, VicVentures is a student-led initiative that hosts events throughout Toronto with hopes of enabling students to explore the city’s hidden mysteries and recognize
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its beauty both inside and outside the downtown core. Past events have included the Yonge-Dundas Square vigil, watching Toronto FC play at BMO Field, a visit to Evergreen Brickworks, and a shoreline cleanup at Woodbine Beach. If you’re interested in attending future events or want more information, the VicVentures Facebook page is frequently updated with events and will supply you with additional information about us.
handedly. If a proxy holder had already maximized their quota, they would add additional students who wished to proxy their vote to a spreadsheet database organized by Warner. These students would then be matched up with a proxy holder who had not yet maximized their quota. This collective effort, coupled with the videos, infographics, and websites, created an extremely well informed and involved student body at Victoria College. The result of these efforts was an astounding 625 votes from Victoria College alone, a turnout of over 20% of the Vic student body—nearly triple the percentage achieved by any other college at UofT. The effort on behalf of Ahsan, Warner, Martinborough, the VUSAC team, and the many proxy holders played, without a doubt, a huge role in the success of ratifying the Zhuk-Singh proposal. This result, above all, allows our student union to turn the page and finally direct their attention back to issues that matter. Many regard this success as the beginning of a new era in student politics at UofT, an era which aspires to greater transparency, equality, and inclusivity for all students at the University of Toronto.
News • the STRAND
All in a week’s work:
Referendum calling for long-overdue fall reading week passes Erin Calhoun | Staff Reporter If thinking you’re being handed a implement weeklong reading breaks $100 bill but only receiving $10 is a in both semesters, including Ryerson, familiar feeling, you are probably a York, and even UofT’s Scarborough UofT student. That $100 bill is a le- and Mississauga campuses. gitimate fall reading week, and what A reading week allows time for you end up getting is a two-day read- students to de-stress and absorb the ing break instead. UofT provides a material taught in lectures. From two-day break in the fall semester, the student’s perspective, two days is landing on November 9 and 10 this not enough time to get caught up on year, and a week-long break in the classes, de-stress, and complete assignwinter semester. ments. Many stuStudents often feel From the student’s per- dents will use their that they are being spective, two days is time exclusively on treated unfairly and not enough time to get getting caught up on cheated of valuable caught up on classes, de- their classes. time that could be stress, and complete asSecond-year Rydevoted to their signments. erson student Brad studies. Recently, Gold related his exthe University of Toronto Students’ perience with fall reading week, statUnion and the Arts & Science Stu- ing, “As a student in creative indusdents’ Union collected student votes tries, I really benefitted from having a via referendum asking that the ad- full week off from classes. I took the ministration consider extending the time to explore the city with my camfall break to a full week. era and build my photography portIf administration approves a five- folio. And the extra time I had, I used day reading week, students can expect to get caught up and ask questions to see the extension in the fall semes- on concepts that I didn’t get at first, ter of 2016. For the break to become so when I returned from the break, I a possibility, Orientation Week will fully understood all the material behave to be moved up before Labour ing taught.” Day to preserve the full number of Reading weeks provide students teaching and exam days. with extra time that allows for acaUofT is highly ranked among demic and personal growth, benefituniversities both nationally and in- ting their studies. Without this full ternationally, which creates a very week for catching up, students are high-stress environment and a heavy working under much more pressure workload for most students. Never- and possibly not to their full potentheless, many Canadian universities tial.
Divesting to invest in our future
Illustration | Yasmine Shelton
Erin Calhoun | Staff Reporter The University of Toronto currently owns stock in 200 fossil fuel companies. On October 29, UofT students and fellow environmentalists took action on the streets of UofT’s St. George campus to urge the administration to divest from these fossil fuel companies. The pressing demand for the university to divest from fossil fuels is clearly articulated by the group known as Toronto350, who focus on preserving our environment and fossil fuels. Here are Toronto350’s reasons for the university to consider divesting from fossil fuels:
Illustration | Jocelyn Mui
1. Fossil fuel stocks are one of the least successful stocks to invest in. 2. Studies have shown that screening out fossil fuel stock is financially safe. Reports are showing, in fact, that divestment from fossil fuel stocks should have started ten years ago. Investing in fossil-fuel-free portfolios would have been more rewarding, as these portfolios perform better than the market average. 3. Coal as a resource is in decline. All of the cheap coal has been mined, and many countries are starting to enforce clean air policies by limiting emissions on power plants. These factors cause the investment prospects for coal to decline. 4. The future of natural gas is unpredictable. Fracking, the injection of pressurised liquid into rocks to extract oil and gas, has put nearby water sup-
plies at risk of contamination. 5. Renewable energy will soon be cheaper than fossil fuels. By 2020, it will be cheaper and faster to build plants producing renewable energy than those using coal, oil, or gas. 6. When the carbon bubble bursts, fossil fuel stocks will plummet. Over 200 members of UofT’s faculty have stated that they promote the divestment of the $2.1 billion that UofT has invested in fossil fuels. The use of fossil fuels contributes to climate change. Organizations like Toronto350 have stated that if the temperature rises by two degrees Celsius, the effects of climate change will become critical. To stay below that limit, we can emit no more than 565 billion more tonnes of carbon dioxide, period. Unfortunately, large fossil fuel industries have the ability to emit more than enough to push the world into a severely dangerous environmental state. UofT students held another protest on November 12, which ran down St. George St and finished outside of the President’s office on Simcoe St. Students are hoping that by getting the administration’s attention, they will be able to make the administration understand the benefits of divesting from fossil fuels. If the university is responsive to the demands made by students, hopefully other large institutions will follow in the divestment chain.
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Opinions • the STRAND
It can’t rain all the time On the ebbs and flows of seasonal affective disorder Lauren Van Klaveren | Staff Writer
Deck the halls (with faux “diversity”) Ahmed Hasan | Contributor
Photography | Genevieve Wakutz
I pulled the curtains from my window and looked at the sky—grey and splotched with dark clouds that loomed heavily. “Well, it’s going to rain…again.” I could hear my partner behind me, moving closer. He wrapped his arms around me gently, because he knew I wasn’t just commenting on the weather. He could hear the anxiety in my voice. Recently, I’ve struggled to leave the warmth of my bed. The mornings are getting colder, the skies are growing darker. My body wants to hibernate. Waking up next to someone I care about certainly helps to soothe my anxiety and make me feel more willing to greet the day. However, whether I’m in a relationship or not doesn’t ultimately make much of a difference when weathering this storm. I know that being at peace with myself is the most important thing, but loving myself is not always easy. Being motivated and driven to “live life to the fullest” can sometimes feel daunting. Every day I must manage, and every day I’m managing. The cold and damp outside sinks into my bones, and I feel conflicted. I have always loved autumn—the bright hues of the leaves, the pumpkins on the stoops, the celebration of all things macabre. But once October passes, my excitement subsides. T. S. Eliot wrote that April was the cruelest month, but for me, November promises stagnation and a harsh winter to follow. It is April that begins to break the spell I enter, common to many others who experience depression at this time each year. Lana Del Rey and I both know, however, that summertime sadness is totally a thing for people too. The first year I really noticed the seasons affecting me so significantly was
halfway through high school. I remember feeling down, but knowing there wasn’t a particular reason for it. There was no big crisis. I didn’t have an easy answer for why I was depressed, but I knew this wasn’t going away overnight. In the winter months of my senior year I found solace reading the late author Ned Vizzini’s novel It’s Kind of a Funny Story. The narrator of the story, a teen named Craig, also felt depressed and couldn’t explain why. I was feeling as though I couldn’t justify my struggle because I couldn’t point to a specific reason or event in my life that caused this kind of reaction. It was refreshing and comforting to have a voice on the page speaking so candidly and with such vulnerability. I felt like I knew him. Each word resonated with me, and I felt as though he was transcribing all the feelings I couldn’t articulate. It was during the ice storm in Toronto on December 20, 2013 that I learned that Ned Vizzini had killed himself. He had jumped off a rooftop the day before and I remember thinking: If this man couldn’t make it, how the hell will I? His depression was different from mine, though. His was clinical. Mine seems to worsen and subdue with the seasons. I’m lucky; I can manage it well enough that it doesn’t consume me. But these days, the fleetingness of life does not escape my attention. A favourite quote of mine comes from 1994’s classic cult film The Crow: “It can’t rain all the time.” The sun, though it sets early right now, will return. Hold your heads up, Victorians, and keep your loved ones close. There is no shame in taking life at your own pace, just as long as you keep going.
Halloween often ends with party decorations strewn every which way, a slight headache, and the sudden build-up of an overbearing, overbearing, overbearing sense of Christmas. Pumpkins are quickly switched out for fairy lights and wreaths, and a short stroll through any shopping mall sufficiently hammers the point home: it is now the Christmas season. Pardon me—the Holiday Season. Where all people come together and experience the joyous joy of Holiday, all the Holiday, nothing but the pure and honest Holiday. I acknowledge that this is a step. Whether completely refusing to actually call it “Christmas” in the midst of all the overbearing joy of Holiday is a step in a direction that genuinely celebrates diversity—rather than a corporate ploy to sell Christmas to non-Christmas-celebrating folk—remains to be said, but it is very much a noticeable step from what came before. Except for the massive tree in the middle of the shopping mall. The endless colour-coded ornamentation every way one looks. Carols, and candy canes, and a veritable deluge of seasonally appropriate television.
Pretending that just taking the name out of the season will fix that feeling of alienation—and then patting yourselves on the back for it, no less—is absurd. They’ll speak of “diversity” with a twinkle in their eye that sparkles like the first real snowfall that refuses to show up until mid-January. Truly, everyone can find something to love in Holiday; the sense of exclusion is dead because we deem it dead, and we have consulted amongst ourselves and decided that we have done an excellent job of making sure every facet of Holiday is properly celebrated by all peoples—particularly those that are Diverse. When we tell all these Diverse people in the street that we hope for their Holiday to be an enjoyable one, we know in our hearts that they know in their hearts that we care about them, and we care about their take on Holiday, and
we care about what it means to them, just as they walk past the enormous Santa mural on the wall. Of course, this is a fairly long-winded way of saying that the Christmas season itself is alienating to me. In my childhood, it seemed to be the regularly scheduled time of year where something arose that was much bigger than my supposedly odd-smelling lunches that already and very distinctly made me an Other. This became the norm over time, and I grew to live with it; it didn’t hurt to offer an awkward chuckle and mumble small talk when someone asked Christmasshopping-related questions. It wasn’t a big deal. But pretending that just taking the name out of the season will fix that feeling of alienation—and then patting yourselves on the back for it, no less—is absurd. Starbucks-cup-related idiocy aside, advertising and television programming and all sorts of traditions ensure that the theme of Holiday remains rooted in Christmas and Christmas alone, and if your concept of catering to someone like me as well stops at the exclusion of a single word, don’t pretend that what you’re doing is anything significant in terms of celebrating diversity. I must admit, though, I do find the supposed erasure that makes conservatives cry crocodile tears to be very amusing.
Illustration | Emily Pollock
“I won’t hold my breath for a revolution under the Christmas tree” Lyra Parks | Contributor cont’d from page 1 However, I would argue that one of the worst aspects of retail work is the expectation of emotional labour: the requirement that employees display certain emotions as part of their job. Companies are well aware of how false “Hello, how can I help you today?” sounds by now, and acting genuine is a genuine part of my job description. It is, of course, intuitive and logical that employees should help make customers’ shopping experiences enjoyable, but when the minute actions of employees are controlled to create the perfect customer experience, that infringes on our bodily autonomy, and things can become invasive, distressing, and dehumanizing. Retail employers have given me in-
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structions like “Say ‘assist’ instead of ‘help’ because it sounds more sincere,” have told me to try and avoid sounding like a robot, or have barked the word “smile” at me over our headset comm system when my expression wasn’t radiant enough during an evening rush. I have never worked harder to avoid publicly bursting into tears than the day I spent two soul-sucking hours at the front of the store, repeating a one-sentence promotion over and over again (that’s the same sentence, without a break, repeated easily over 400 times), and handing out flyers, only to be approached by a manager who suggested I must be having a bad day, because I’m clearly not doing my best to be cheerful. A robot could easily have done my job that day, but a robot could not perform the emotional labour I was doing, and so
the task fell to me. And here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to be this way. Shitty, dehumanising, inadequate retail jobs were not created because 20-somethings needed poorly-paying, parttime work. Shitty retail jobs were created because companies realized that 20-somethings were willing to do this work for less pay, less stability, and less dignity than their predecessors. Being a shop-person was once a valid career choice; now the position is specifically marketed toward employees like me, because it is not only assumed that I am transient and that I do not need benefits or a stable schedule, but it is also an actively cultivated idea. Fill your employee ranks with enough young people who are forced to smile, and you can mask the fact that these are young
people swimming in student debt, young people living with their parents for the longest periods of time in decades, young people who are often not so young, not single, and not childless. Young people who deserve better. But we won’t see any reversal of this trend of taking advantage of young people’s desperation to work, unless workers take almost unimaginably broad coordinated collective action to demand better, or our late-capitalist system is replaced by something that does not make a desperate rush for profit the raison d’être of most employers. Both those things are on my wishlist this year, but I won’t hold my breath for a revolution under the Christmas tree.
Opinions • the STRAND
Toronto the cool: Drake, cultural capital, and Internet importance Alexandra Scandolo | Staff Writer The energy in Toronto has become palpable in 2015. Even with the Pan Am Games’ summer of disruption, the city has had a buzz that it can’t seem to shake, even as the weather dips into single-digit temperatures. You can’t walk around the downtown core without spotting a twenty-something in a “Toronto vs. Everybody” logo emblazoned on their crewneck sweater, and no photo on a Torontonian’s Instagram is complete without a “#6ix” in the caption. So, what’s changed in the formerly jaded atmosphere to give Torontonians this kind of pride? You could risk saying that the cultural stars have finally aligned, and the city has become…cool. Seeing Toronto mentioned in the mainstream media always causes a sense of excitement, like you’re a front-row concert attendee and your favourite artist may have pointed in your direction. You’ve made it! While Toronto has had its minor moments in the public eye in the past politically and pop culturally, it’s finally becoming the Instagram-famous person your favourite pop star once pulled up on stage. Toronto is on track to becoming the influential heavyweight that everyone has been hoping for, but how did we suddenly pull it all together? Toronto’s always been an easy punch line. Its defining monument is a very tall communications tower; a piece of architecture that, while very tall, is not the sort of icon you’d want to see on a kitschy pillow or poster at Bed Bath & Beyond. You can bet that a teen somewhere in Small Town, America has a London, England-themed room—but a Toronto one is probably hard to find. There’s never been the sensational magnetism in Toronto that other huge cities have; its been lying in a strange purgatory between eclectic and corny. The Leafs have an intense cult-like following despite having not won a Stanley Cup since 1967. Toronto has produced talented and alternative bands like Broken Social Scene, who ruled the city in the mid-2000s, while churning out “the most celebrated Canadian alt-rock band of the nineties,” the Barenaked Ladies. Torontonian television programming rarely survives Canadian ratings, but the Home & Garden Network has been its greatest televised export to the United States. Toronto is always somewhere in the middle of cool, rarely finding solid ground to proclaim itself king. That is, until a former Degrassi High graduate took his stand on the world stage and brought the city with him.
Having someone as influential and visible as Drake call Toronto home has indeed helped our street cred, but he’s also blazed the trail for others who are stepping up to represent the city. Drake has taken the reins and altered Toronto’s presence on the world stage while changing the world’s perspective on him. Toronto has received a fresh rebranding as “The Six”—after the six boroughs that make up the city—when Drake released the title of his albumViews from the Six. Drake later reinforced this title with If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late’s iconic line in the song “Know Yourself”: “I was running through the six with my woes.” His videos often include night shots of Toronto’s skylines
and streets; he has managed to name drop subway stations, restaurants, and clubs into his rhymes, and recently reintroduced the Torontonian patois from his days spent as a youth in Scarborough. Drake has suddenly made many comfortable to shout that they do, in fact, love Toronto, and almost everyone is clamouring to declare their allegiances to the city. Having someone as influential and visible as Drake call Toronto home has indeed helped our street cred, but he’s also blazed the trail for others who are stepping up to represent the city. A former Drake associate and current Billboard-Number-One artist, The Weeknd, has become not just a celebrity of Toronto, but a worldwide artist who is a unique representation of this enigmatic Toronto cool. Up-and-coming music artists are emerging and pulling Toronto from its lukewarm mainstream music landscape. The current Toronto music scene has developed enough and allowed for certain players to step up to the major pop cultural leagues; this has played a huge role in producing and influencing a great shift in public opinion. Toronto has unique components to its culture as a city that many people are now realizing exist. Opportunities to attend yearly and noteworthy events like the Toronto International Film Festival or the Hot Docs Festival are unique to Toronto. Toronto’s art scene has massive galleries and museums, as well as small galleries with specialities in textiles or pottery. Any world-renowned musician is sure to stop by Toronto when announcing their tour dates; with a wide variety of venues from the intimate Massey Hall to the booming Rogers Centre, Toronto has the capability to host important musical talent. Many New York restaurants
have Toronto installations, yet the city is also host to multicultural dining spots unique to Toronto’s population. Even Drake has branched into the city’s dynamic food culture by opening a restaurant with the notable Susur Lee in Toronto called Fring’s. While these places and events with massive cultural capital have existed for a while, many of the city’s citizens are finally engaging during this time of noteworthy cool.
A large city like Toronto is always going to be busy visually, whether it’s traffic jams or back-to-back events, but the most important factor in the past year has been the cacophony of voices online speaking about the city in a prideful way. Toronto’s public figures are becoming signifncant, and not just for their uncomfortable antics, like Rob Ford’s headline-blazing mishaps. Norm Kelly, commonly known as @norm, or less comfortably as #6ixDad, has made huge waves in news headlines and in online discussions. People outside of Canada are intrigued by the Drake-loving granddad at City Hall, whether for his love of Hip Hop or for his ambitions to call out Meek Mill on Twitter. Toronto has had Internet culture create a boom in attention, and it
Illustration | Lynn Hong
has brought credibility to Toronto as a viable cultural hub. Blue Jays Fever was undeniably strong as they fought their way through a slow season to an intense close before the World Series. Being courtside at the Raptors has become a symbol of the Toronto elite, and it does help that the basketball team has a good playoff run under its belt. All of this excitement over Toronto sports is due in part to the community Toronto has fostered online in support. Finally, Toronto’s youth (and, in the case of Norm, even elderly Toronto City Councillors) have found artists, politicians, and sports to be proud of—and share with the world. Toronto is becoming a regional voice with worldwide influence, and many are embracing it. Though it’s slightly comical the way Torontonians and GTA-affiliates have flocked to support the beloved Six, the sense of community that has been fostered in the city has created an atmosphere with unheard-of vibrancy. People are genuinely invested in the debate about what to nickname the city and what artist represents it best on an international stage. While these (mainly) online arguments seem trivial, it’s this unique sense of pride that’s getting residents to genuinely care about how the city is represented. A large city like Toronto is always going to be busy visually, whether it’s traffic jams or back-to-back events, but the most important factor in the past year has been the cacophony of voices online speaking about the city in a prideful way. Who knew that all Toronto needed was a couple of hype men to finally make it the cool cultural centre it’s always wanted to be?
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OUR MASTHEAD Editors-in-Chief editor@thestrand.ca
Anthony Burton Rhianna Jackson-Kelso Holly McKenzie-Sutter
News
Nicole Paroyan
news@thestrand.ca
Opinions
“That could have been me”
Olivia Dziwak
opinions@thestrand.ca
Features features@thestrand.ca
Geoff Baillie Claire Wilkins
Arts & Culture
Clarrie Feinstein
In response to global tragedy
artsandculture@thestrand.ca
Film & Music
Bronwyn Nisbet-Gray
filmandmusic@thestrand.ca
Stranded
Neil MacIsaac
stranded@thestrand.ca
Copy Editing
Jake McNair
copy@thestrand.ca
Design design@thestrand.ca
Emily Pollock Grace Quinsey
Photo
Genevieve Wakutz
photo@thestrand.ca
Art
Lynn Seolim Hong
art@thestrand.ca
Web
Kasra Koushan
web@thestrand.ca
Editorial Assistants
Joshua Kim Tanuj Kumar Ainsley MacDougall Tristan McGrath-Waugh Tamilore Oshodi Alison Zhou
Contributors Lola Borissenko, Erin Calhoun, Ariana Douglas, Ahmed Hasan, Andrea Ingles, Molly Kay, Lauren Van Klaveren, Ainsley MacDougall, Neil McKenzie-Sutter, Lyra Parks, Erik Preston, Alexandra Scandolo, Elena Senechal-Becker, Yu Xin Shi, Sara Truuvert Illustrations Lynn Seolim Hong, Jocelyn Mui, Emily Pollock, Yasmine Shelton Photos Rosa Kumar, Vincent Luk, Genevieve Wakutz, Judy Zhou Cover Illustration Lynn Seolim Hong
The Strand has been the newspaper of record for Victoria University since 1953. It is published 12 times a year with a circulation of 2000 and is distributed in Victoria University buildings and across the University of Toronto’s St. George campus. The Strand flagrantly enjoys its editorial autonomy and is committed to acting as an agent of constructive social change. As such, we will not publish material deemed to exhibit racism, sexism, homo/transphobia, ableism, or other oppressive language. The Strand is a proud member of the Canadian University Press (CUP). Our offices are located at 150 Charles St. W., Toronto, ON, M5S 1K9. Please direct enquiries by email to editor@thestrand.ca. Submissions are welcome and may be edited for taste, brevity, and legality.
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Photography | Wikimedia Commons
Holly McKenzie-Sutter | Editor-in-Chief Last Friday, the news of the massacre in Paris came to my attention while I was at a bar with my coworkers after a late closing shift. The information that one site of violence was a concert for the group Eagles of Death Metal was brought up in conjunction with mention of a mutual friend. “Hey, that could have been Gaby. She loves Eagles of Death Metal.” “Oh yeah, if it had been in Toronto, Gaby would have been there.” The self-absorbed nature of the conversation dawned on everyone, and the discussion turned to the idea that whenever a world tragedy occurs, people naturally tend to relate it to themselves. This in itself is not necessarily a bad thing. The idea that “that could have been me” is more often than not applied only to your friends and family—I and others were concerned at the thought of loved ones abroad in Paris being caught in the crossfire of such a tragedy. Obviously a person’s own experiences are the lens through which they view the world, and as such, many of us in Canada feel a natural inclination toward solidarity with a Western European city such as Paris. We may or may not have visited Paris, but at the very least we have been exposed to the city through modern and historical images throughout our lives. Paris presents a landscape that, even if we have never set foot on its streets, is easy to place ourselves in. The number of victims and unexpected nature of the attacks in Paris brought a visceral and highly sympathetic response from many across Canada and the rest of the world. When you feel a relationship to a city, and the media around you is expressing an outpouring of grief (be it social or news media), it is all too easy to relate yourself to that tragedy. The idea that your humanity is closely con-
nected to the humanity of those lost in Paris is a noble and positive one. The ease with which you relate to those victims is also noble and positive, and ultimately inspires the energy that the world needs to overcome the kind of evil that perpetrates such acts of terror. But the real work of healing the world begins when relating your humanity to the victims of tragedy stops being easy. It may be that the victims come from a city such as Beirut or Baghdad and a romanticized version of their city or people does not exist in your personal memory. It may be that the victims are from the same conflict zone as the perpetrators themselves. While displays of solidarity with Paris are well intentioned, there is an undoubtedly ugly side to the world’s reaction to the Paris attacks. Radicalised violence against Muslim women in Toronto, the arson of a Peterborough mosque, and petitions to close off our borders to Syrian refugees are some of the uglier ways that Canadians have reacted to the Paris attacks. Empathy and solidarity in response to global tragedy can only have positive results. Expressing your humanity by way of outreach and inclusion is conducive to global healing. A response to tragedy that is divisive or exclusionary is very much the opposite. The easy work is expressing solidarity to things, places, and people we know—or at least think we know. The harder but equally essential work is expressing solidarity with those people and places we may not know. “That could be me” does not stop at that which we recognize. To heal a humanity that is suffering across the globe, it’s time to take the step to acknowledge that it could have been one of our friends at any site of unprovoked attack.
Editorial • the STRAND
Responsibility in the public sphere With the ear of the world at the tips of our fingers, it’s more important than ever to recognize the responsibility we have to those who are most affected by misinformation Rhianna Jackson-Kelso and Anthony Burton | Editors-in-Chief When many people first heard of the terror attacks on Paris on November 13, the first reaction was to check the Internet. Whether finding out in person or over text message, it took most people but a few seconds to switch over to Google to check what major news outlets were saying about the events that were unfolding. Even as the attacks were ongoing, the ability to switch between Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, and major news websites provided the illusion of a real-time connection to the events as they were unfolding. One of the most amazing aspects of the age we live in is our ability to disseminate information at lightning speed to people and places all over the world, but there’s something both unnerving dangerous about being able to follow a constantly-evolving web snapshot of such a horrific and violent event as it happens. Twitter was flooded with updates from people in the area of the attacks informing their loved ones of their situation and providing safety tips for others. The hashtag #PorteOuverte (“open door”) spread quickly on Twitter as a means for Parisians to offer refuge to victims of the attacks. Videos of people fleeing the scenes of the attacks, statements from those affected, and images of dead and injured people were available even before police were able to neutralize the situation. One of the hostages taken inside the Bataclan, Benjamin Cazenoves, made Facebook updates describing the events in graphic detail as they unfolded in the concert hall, attracting international coverage of his posts. Unsurprisingly, amidst this rush of information, misinformation abounded, including wild guesswork on how the Paris police intended to respond to the
hostage situation, erroneous claims about the nature or out-dated it can be incendiary. In the thick of such and scope of the attacks, and misestimates of the num- a shocking series of events, with the media clamouring ber of casualties. Likewise, the hours and days directly to be the first to piece the story together and individual following the attacks gave everyone newsfeeds and people anxious to determine the extent of the damage, timelines filled with posts about the attacks that didn’t journalistic standards tend to fall by the wayside. Even quite hit the mark. Images of a darkened Eiffel Tower in the aftermath, it’s all too easy to jump to conclusions circulated widely, the claim being and fall victim to emotional apthat the tower had been dimmed peals designed to sensationalize in mourning, despite the fact the (justifiable) feelings of horror that the dimming of the tower In the thick of such a shocking and outrage people experience lights at 1 AM has been a daily series of events, with the me- after such a tragic event, rather occurrence since 2013. A tweet than to seek out factual accounts. made by Donald Trump almost dia clamouring to be the first Institutions of journalism are a year ago, regarding the Charlie to piece the story together and not just structures filled by writHebdo shooting, gained similar individual people anxious to de- ers and editors—they’re also intraction and garnered outrage responsible for upholdtermine the extent of the dam- stitutions when French ambassador Gerard ing ethical and moral standards Araud mistook it for commen- age, journalistic standards tend that prevent the power of infortary on the Paris attacks. Several to fall by the wayside. mation from being used to incite major European news outlets hatred, advance political agencirculated a photoshopped imdas, and mislead the public into age of Veerender Jubbal, an innocent Canadian Sikh harmful ways of thinking. And now that it’s so easy for man, naming him as a perpetrator of the attacks and anyone with a social media account to participate in consequently subjecting him to tremendous fallout the same discourse as these institutions, it’s more imand backlash from people who saw and believed the portant than ever to be conscious of the reputability of doctored image. your sources. With a situation as politically charged as While social media is undoubtedly a useful tool for this one, the aftermath of which has included horrific, the dissemination of information and ideas, its role in unjustified, and senseless acts of violence against peoevents of this nature can be just as harmful as helpful. ple of colour and Muslims across the Western world, While social media, especially Twitter, has revolution- we can’t afford to share information irresponsibly. ized the way we can access information and shaped how we live in the world, when this information is incorrect
Working at The Strand is bar none the most rewarding experience available to UofT students since 1953. Student journalism is an incredible way to engage with your community, whether it be by finding your voice through writing or by designing something that will be in the hands of students all across the St. George campus. To get started, email the editor of the section that you’re interested in contributing to through the email addresses provided on our masthead list on the opposite page. We’re always looking for writers, illustrators, designers, photographers, copy editors, programmers, and business-savvy folk, so stop by Room 153 of the Goldring Student Centre, 150 Charles St. West. Don’t worry, you won’t be pumping iron here—that’s the other Goldring Centre.
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Features • the STRAND
Humans of Victoria College
“My mom wouldn't let us have pets, so my sister and I took care of rogue pigeons on our balcony. We named them Snappy and Bitey, because that's what they did. After three months of maternal care, our mother flung them over the balcony. RIP Snappy and Bitey.”
“It’s very liberating to be able to do things on your own and not care what anyone else thinks. Honestly, I feel like a lot of the things we do with other people, we’re actually just experiencing by ourselves. Like if you go to a concert with a friend who isn’t as interested or excited as you are, you end up dancing by yourself and connecting with the music by yourself. It doesn’t feel too different. Being alone is underrated; I think more people should embrace it.”
“In class we were talking about pickles and fermented foods, and by the end of the lecture the prof asked if we wanted to bring the food home. And I like beets, so yeah, I already ate some.”
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“I think all of my values, worldview, and most of my opinions can be boiled down to one word: balance. But I don’t behave as if that’s the word my brain is always circling. I like to play up my reactions, or state my opinions more forcefully than I feel them. I have no idea why.”
“The vest was given to me for my fifteenth birthday. My mom’s friend from uni bedazzled it for me. She’s like my honorary aunt. She bedazzled it with silver and gold studs and used them to write ‘JETT’ on the breast because I was going through a serious Joan Jett phase at the time. The skull shirt is my brother’s. I like to steal his clothes ‘cause they’re big and comfy. The coat is from Old Navy. I have, like, five colourful peacoats from there. Old Navy is my store, man. My whole outfit is badass.”
“When I was younger, I definitely thought that by age 20 I would have my life sorted out. When you’re younger and you imagine the age “20,” you think you’re such an adult, that you should have a job and your life together. I’m not like that at all. I thought I’d have a direction of what career I’d want to do, or at least what I would want to do with schooling, but now I’m not entirely sure. After university it’ll be the first time I don’t know what I’m doing next.”
Features • the STRAND
“When I was younger, I wanted to be an author; I devoured books. I remember the first book that made me love reading was historical fiction. It was about Anastasia Romanov in the World Diaries series...a diary written from her point of view. I remember I got it for Christmas, and after I read it I could never put down any other book after that. I’m still taking history and English, which are subjects I’m really passionate about. I never tried to box myself in with things that would make me unhappy; I always knew that would never work. “I have had midterms for the past six weeks, and there’s still more to do.”
“I was riding in a convertible with a friend in Vancouver when I saw Chris Pine walking down the street. Awestruck, I leapt from the vehicle, which was going about 40 kph. With no regard for my safety, I stumbled onto the sidewalk and promptly introduced myself. He was a bit surprised by the whole ordeal, but was gracious enough for a handshake and a quick hug before he ran off. Worth it.”
But I still believe [being an author is] definitely possible. I think I’m very self-conscious about my writing now, so I think it’s more my ability to let myself pursue that path and give myself the opportunity to try out writing and build my confidence. I just second-guess myself too much.”
“Since I live in Toronto and on res as well, I didn't bring a coat in September, thinking I would go home and pick one up. But I haven't been able to go home. And it’s cold now. And I am cold.”
Photography | Rosa Kumar, Genevieve Wakutz, and Judy Zhou
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ROM lecture offers insight into Arabian Gulf Molly Kay | Arts & Culture Associate Editor On November 10, I attended the tenth annual Eva Holtby Lecture on Contemporary Culture at the Royal Ontario Museum. Each year this event strives to encourage and promote civility, empathy, understanding, and awareness of contemporary issues. This year, I had the pleasure of listening to Sheikha Hoor Al Qasimi, President of the Sharjah Art Foundation. She spoke about arts, culture, and community in the Emirate of Sharjah. Born in the Emirate of Sharjah, a state in the United Arab Emirates (UAE), Al Qasimi is the daughter of the emir. Despite her traditional and conservative upbringing, she has always been passionate about art and contemporary culture. It comes as no surprise that Al Qasimi is now recognized internationally as one of the greatest advocates for arts and culture in the UAE. In fact, she has spent the last 13 years working; as a curator, an artist, and an artistic director on several international boards to promote worldwide recognition of the Sharjah Art Foundation within the art community. Furthermore, she is now the head of the Sharjah Biennial, a contemporary art festival which her father created when she was 13 years old, because of his deep interest in the preservation and education of his culture. In more recent years, Al Qasimi’s contemporary infusion has given the Sharjah Biennial the worldwide appeal it so rightfully deserves.
Once an industrial centre of trade and clearly disregarded. Currently, Al Qasimi is often overshadowed by its metropolitan writing a book on this same issue because, neighbour Dubai, Sharjah is now an accom- as she states, “It is necessary.” She longs for a plished cultural institution. Al Qasimi is not fair representation of how incredible the art only a product of this artistic hub, but she of the Emirates is, and criticises its practical also actively plays a large role in its redefini- non-existence in the art world. tion and its great success. One of the biggest misconceptions Al Qasimi conabout Arabian art, she stantly challenges the notes, is that people asboundaries between sume it will always be what is traditional Her biggest goal, she says, is flashy and over-the-top. or conventional and to encourage the average ci- She claims that viewers what is exciting and are always shocked by the experimental. She vilian to take the time to look use of recycled materistrongly believes in at local art exhibitions and to als in a lot of the art she making free artistic take advantage of what Shar- curates. education accessible Al Qasimi works to the entire com- jah has to offer. very closely with the artmunity by promoting ists, as she highly values better educational resources. She also strives the preservation of her culture’s art history. to preserve historical landmarks by eco-pres- However, when not on business, she often ervation and installation. The Sharjah Art visits artists just to sit and talk, demonstratFoundation seeks out old homes, buildings, ing her dedication to inclusion and authenand warehouses that are scheduled for de- tic representation. molition then funds the use of these sites to She calls Sharjah a “home for many host gallery openings and showcase local art- cultures,” much like Toronto. Al Qasimi ists. “Art in the city is important,” she states, states that the key to connecting works of “because when people are well informed, it art across several different nations is, in fact, brings them together.” through politics. She remarks that artists The lecture especially emphasised the from all over the world engage with similar troubling lack of common knowledge about topics and that these political issues are what Arabic art history. Al Qasimi strives to form bring them together, instead of diversity bea better international understanding of a ing the primary focus. culture that is so poorly represented and so That being said, Al Qasimi constantly
Photography |Vincent Luk
reminds us that she does not desire international attention. Her biggest goal, she says, is to encourage the average civilian to take the time to look at local art exhibitions and to take advantage of what Sharjah has to offer. She tells us, “[Her] greatest joy is seeing young children coming off the streets to attend biennials, film screenings and gallery openings. When they express interest and they continue to come back year after year,” she says, “[she feels] very proud of the work she is doing in Sharjah.” During the Q&A at the end of her lecture, she told a warming anecdote about an art show she curated. Al Qasimi was answering questions about the gallery when a TV reporter approached her about an interview. Before answering any questions, she noticed a group of children in the corner looking at one of the pieces. Uninterested in accepting the interview herself, she passed it off to one of her associates. She then went up to the kids and began explaining the exhibition to them instead. Now, several years later, she is pleased to see these same children, all grown up, still attending the events hosted by the Sharjah Art Foundation. Sheikha Hoor Al Qasimi delivered a moving and thoroughly informative lecture that, for me, really put in perspective how Eurocentric our educational system is. I left this event with a whole new understanding of arts and culture that I’m sure inspired others as much as it did me.
Adorable: Student-produced show brings comedy to Vic
On November 20, the Cat’s Eye hosted the first installment of Adorable, a comedy show put on by UofT students Kelly DeHoop, Lucas Loizou, and Celeste Yim. The free show featured comedians Celeste Yim, Lauren Mitchell, Jess Beaulieu, Jhanelle Dennis, and James Elias Island. Read The Strand’s full coverage of the event online at http://thestrand.ca/category/arts-culture. Photography | Genevieve Wakutz
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Arts & Culture • the STRAND
Michael Brooke helps keep print journalism alive
Founder of Toronto-based Concrete Wave Magazine is creating a community for skateboarders one magazine at a time Lola Borissenko | Contributor The abundance and availability of online information often challenges contemporary print publications, such as newspapers and magazines. Indeed, the Internet allows any smartphone-holder to easily access news, celebrity gossip, sports updates, local arts and culture events, and newly-released scientific discoveries, complete with colourful and visually stunning images: easily as good as any magazine, and far more versatile. Yet there are people who continue to prize print media over electronic, or simply devote their time to both in relatively equal amounts. An estimated 81% of Canadians prefer print books over electronic ones; however, only about 34% buy a magazine at least once a month. While some people support the growing dominance of internet journalism, claiming that print publications are becoming outdated, others believe that engagement with a physical magazine is a much more rewarding experience than online reading. Michael Brooke, founder and Editorin-Chief of Toronto-based Concrete Wave Magazine, is a firm believer in print publications: he has been publishing these carefully assembled journals since 1999. Concrete Wave is devoted to the art of skateboarding, featuring innovative longboard equipment,
Illustration | Emily Pollock
skateboard-themed artworks, and compelling stories from international skateboard enthusiasts. There are six issues released throughout the year, with annual subscrip-
tions available. This shows how strongly Brooke advocates for print publications and believes that there is still a demand for this journalistic medium. For Brooke, skateboarding is a truly inspiring and highly artistic experience. The beauty of skateboarding derives from a boarder’s journey without a precise destination. The magazine introduces a multitude of perspectives. For example, in this year’s fall issue skateboarder Mike “Smooth Chicken” McGown treats this activity as a dance form, claiming that, “In essence, we’re dancing with our board, or with the road, depending on how you look at it.” McGown points out that while skateboarders ride on different equipment and come from different places, they all share a common passion for this journey, “a spark that makes each of us smile.” Brooke has also dedicated his time to the development of the Longboarding for Peace Movement, “A global movement of peace, balance, and justice powered by longboarders.” The fall 2015 issue featured an account by Edward David Hernandez, who noted the program’s beneficial effects on children after the Monterreal Longboard Fest event in Mexico. “The kids were excited about
the visits,” he states, “mostly because they have never known people from outside the country.” The program is now effective in over a dozen countries including Malaysia, Australia, Indonesia, Jamaica, Canada, and the United States. The Longboarding for Peace Movement further shows the power journalism can have in advocacy, which is a major ethical tenet of journalism—bringing important current issues to light in order to make the public socially aware of them. While Brooke is quite pleased with the progress that Concrete Wave has made in the past 16 years, he is interested in the journal’s constant development. One of his current goals is to increase the recognition of female skateboarders, since this activity is often perceived as male-dominated. The cover of the summer issue this year featured a female boarder, something quite revolutionary for the skateboarders’ community. Brooke’s journey as a publisher calls our attention towards other independent magazines, and manifests the potential of the published medium even in an age of rapid electronic developments.
“A creator of mystery”
The AGO’s J.M.W. Turner Exhibit focuses on the artist’s groundbreaking atmospheric skills Elena Senechal-Becker | Arts & Culture Associate Editor
As consumers of art, it can sometimes be easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of contemporary art we see all around us. However, it can sometimes be useful (or even enjoyable) to take a step back and witness what has brought us to the present day: the indelible contributions and legacies artists have forged that have been the catalyst for so much change and innovation. The exhibit on J.M.W. Turner, at the AGO from October 31 to January 31, allowed me to do just that. J.M.W. Turner (1775-1851) was one such catalyst of artistic revolution. Turner, a watercolour and oil painter, is now regarded as one of the most original artists Britain has ever known. The AGO exhibit, organized by the Tate Britain Gallery of London, displays an array of Turner’s paintings from the early beginnings of his career to his very last works. Described in the exhibit’s preface as “emotionally charged scenes set in nature,” Turner’s works are mainly landscapes accentuated by his brilliant use of lighting and colour. Here at UofT, we were fortunate enough to have curator Sarah Robayo Sheridan talk about the Turner exhibit at the University of Toronto Art Centre (UTAC), located in Hart House Circle. One Turner piece has been part of the UofT collection since 1932. It is considered one of Turner’s greatest works (it is not displayed at the AGO exhibit itself) and was showcased for only one hour. The piece is entitled Pembroke Castle: Clearing Up of a Thunderstorm, a beautiful rendering of a castle by the sea focusing on a fisherman by the shore. Sheridan stated that this piece took watercolour “to a new level,” highlighting Turner’s artistic innovation. The exhibit at the AGO begins with a look at some of Turner’s early paintings, which he called “samples.” These are smallscale works: all watercolour on paper depicting mostly bodies of water. While they may seem repetitive, these works were obviously made with a certain effect in mind. The blending of green, blue, and yellow in Turner’s watercolours creates a dreamy, foggy atmosphere that is hard to look away from.
Image courtesy of the Art Gallery of Ontario Photography | Art Gallery of Ontario
Next, the exhibit focuses on Turner’s “Venice” era. The artist greatly admired Venice and its aesthetic, and many of his works depict the Italian city in different styles: some realistic, others experimental. These works feel very different from the previous shadowy “sample” era—as they are all oil paintings—but Turner’s colour scheme seems to remain the same, with a special accent on yellows and greens. Amongst the paintings, small TV screens showed excerpts of Mr. Turner, the 2014 biopic directed by Mike Leigh which retraces the last 25 years of Turner’s career. He was mostly shown painting vigorously, splattering paint onto a canvas using different brushes, which seemed to be an accurate portrayal of his process.
The final part of the exhibit focused especially on the last 15 years of Turner’s career. By then, he had gained notoriety as a groundbreaking visual artist. One of his contemporaries, composer Claude Debussy, called him “the finest creator of mystery in the whole of art.” Illustrious artists like Claude Monet studied under him, admiring his brush strokes and use of atmosphere in oil painting. Turner’s use of bright and dark colours created a stark contrast to his compositions, which made his works immediately striking. The blurry edges of the figures he painted made it hard to identify the subject matter, and I marvelled at the pieces, wondering what they could be representing—yet ultimately feeling that they were
familiar. My 12-year-old brother, who accompanied me to the exhibit, articulated my thoughts when he stopped in front of Snow Storm: Steam-Boat off a Harbour’s Mouth and said, “It looks like a universe.” Turner was seen as an innovator by his peers, and it’s no surprise: he was almost a century ahead of his contemporaries. Many of them sought to find Turner’s “secret”: where did his genius come from? The answer to this question is the concluding note to the exhibit, a direct quote from Turner: “The only secret I have is damned hard work.”
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Film & Music • the STRAND
Beasts of No Nation: A roundtable discussion The Strand’s Editorial Assistants discuss Cary Joji Fukunaga’s Netflix film in the first edition of Strand Sessions Joshua Kim, Tanuj Kumar, Ainsley MacDougall, Tristan McGrath-Waugh, and Tamilore Oshodi | Editorial Assistants Cary Fukunaga’s newest film, Beasts of No Nation, was released through Netflix this past October. The film follows Agu, a child soldier from an unnamed West African country, through the trials of civil war. Based on Uzodinma Iweala’s 2005 novel of the same name (which itself was based on an Afrobeat album by Fela Kuti) the film is violent and visually arresting. Recently, a number of our Editorial Assistants came together to watch and discuss the film in The Strand’s first roundtable panel of the year. Joshua Kim Beasts of No Nation is undoubtedly an unflinching portrait of a crisis that concerns a global audience, a crisis that is universal because it threatens children. Not happy children with chocolate stains over their mouths and tantrum issues, but children who trade toys for AK-47s, chocolate stains for the splatter of rusty-smelling crimson, and radiating wonderment for shrivelling emotionlessness. Beasts deals with child soldiers. Now, before this universal audience immediately fans out into either tear-jerkers dialling UNICEF lines with credit cards in hand or apathetics who simply do not care, Beasts of No Nation commands pause. This is where the film’s greatest strength comes from. This pause, the lull that makes the audience question what is so unique about Beasts, is precisely the film’s masterful cinematography. The bold yet honest visuals elevate the film from a meagre political commentary to auteur-like craft. With a distinct mise-en-scene of oversaturated colour, artful compositions of shallow depths of field, and kinetic photojournalist camerawork, Fukunaga commands captivating visual acuities that augment the movement of each scene in the film. A notable example of this is in the film’s opening scenes of Agu’s peaceful life in his village, where we see Fukunaga’s aptitude for vibrant colours at play. The greens of the foliage and the yellows and reds of the village are noticeably vibrant, reflecting the wonder and cheerfulness of childhood that Agu rightfully possesses. As the film progresses and delves deep into Agu’s transformation into a mindless slaughterer, the colours dissipate and the camera often unchains itself from stable stationary shots into frenetic, steadicam sequences so as to mimic the chaos of bush warfare and create a voyeuristic perspective on Agu. It is easy to become enthralled by Fukunaga’s visuals; his command of the camera holds a tight grip around the plot, squeezing in intensity during the kinetic and chaotic scenes and loosening comfortably in moments of serenity. Yet, considering the lengthy runtime (200 minutes), it is a fair point to make that Fukunaga’s visuals, although enthralling, are self-indulgent, dragging the story on far longer than it should have gone. Moreover, this disregard for concise pacing to present a constant stream of cinematic images permeates the film, and should be looked out for. Tanuj Kumar By focusing on conflict through the eyes of child soldiers, Beasts of No Nation attempts to portray the psychologically damning effects of war through a heavy emphasis on its visual aspects. Fukunaga’s film adaptation of Iweala’s novel paints both colourful life and death onto the West African jungle, where
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Image | Netflix
the mahogany soils and verdant vegetation are stained by unflinching scenes of slaughter. It’s no mystery why Fukunaga focuses on a decidedly visual approach in portraying our protagonist, Agu, and his horrific experiences as a child soldier under the Commandant in the midst of a civil war. Throughout the film, we see multiple changes in the colour palette, which reflect Agu’s constantly shifting psychological state, juxtaposed with a seemingly continuous stream of violence. The film forgoes consistent personal monologues and dynamic characterisations in favour of a feast for the eyes that attempts to bombard the viewer with scene after scene of visual interest. While these scenes often successfully portray aspects of Agu’s psychology, Beasts’s tendency to overplay them detracts from its other aspects—sound, characterization, consistent narrative—that would otherwise clean up and vastly improve the film. Beyond Idris Elba’s stunning performance as the Commandant in his final scenes and Agu’s powerful words concluding the film, Fukunaga’s emphasis on visuals leaves no room for subtlety in sound or speech. But perhaps this was as intended: even though the film’s visual cornucopia leaves viewers thirsting for something beyond what their eyes may see, Beasts of No Nation does show that the brutality of war is anything but subtle. Ainsley MacDougall Beasts of No Nation is not a film for the light-hearted. Filled with violence, it follows child soldiers through a purposeless and testosterone-fuelled mayhem of death and blood. But as necessary as all this violence is in showcasing the truth of Third World warfare, the movie is difficult to connect to and empathize with. As an art form, film must allow time for the viewer to digest scenes and connect them to a greater context or purpose. Beasts does not allow for this; its shots of discomfiting violence and its barrage of visuals and colours make it distracting and confusing. This is not helped by the lack of narration from the main character, Agu, as the movie continues. At the beginning, Agu’s voice-overs provided important exposition, but became less frequent as the movie went on while the violence increased. Leaving only a few pre-
dictable statements by Agu in the few voiceovers that remained, viewers were forced to imagine what he must have been thinking, a difficult exercise since his true personality is seldom shown before conflict hits and he begins to fight and kill. Such disunity makes for a difficult film to watch, not only because of the violence itself, but because of its relentless and non-stop horror, that leaves no chance for reflection. Tristan McGrath-Waugh The film’s main character, Agu, is set adrift after the violent civil conflict, which his community hoped they had escaped, tears through their town. It is here, after the deaths of his father and brother, that Agu’s own odyssey begins. He is discovered by the film’s unnamed antigovernment militia and transformed beyond recognition. Fukunaga illustrates an unstable world in which to place his protagonist, a world unlike the one he had known with his parents, brother, and infant siblings. This stark contrast resonates not just with Agu, but also with the viewer who has just watched almost 20 minutes of the film completely dedicated to portraying the boy’s early life. The starkness of this contrast is a notable factor throughout the entire film and should not be overlooked. Fukunaga repeatedly illustrates the complete abandonment of one group of qualities for another. The final scenes of the film show Agu, after surrendering along with his fellow soldiers to the government’s army, in the care of an unnamed organisation which appears to be intended to care for those swept up by the war. He is sitting in a room, in front of a woman asking him to talk about the things he experienced and the emotions he feels. Agu narrates this scene: he tells the audience how, although he’s still very young, he is far older in experience than the woman sitting across from him. He explains that although he has committed so many horrible atrocities, he was once someone’s son, someone’s brother, and that he was loved. The film concludes with the boy approaching the beach on which his friends, other former child soldiers, are playing in the water. He hesitates for a bit before running forward and joining the others. It’s as if his hesitation is a period of reflection on all that has happened to him just before returning to being a child. It’s this final sequence
of scenes that truly completes Fukunaga’s recurring theme of transformation. It is a depiction of an individual’s ability to adopt qualities far beyond the ones they already possess—good or bad. It’s this ending that explains the film’s quality of anonymity: an anonymous war in an anonymous country with no explanation of when it takes place. These factors hint towards the statement Fukunaga is making, and Beasts’s conclusion only emphasises that. Tamilore Oshodi Beasts of No Nation serves as the first of possibly many original feature films from the growing streaming service Netflix. From start to finish, the imagery and scenery of the film grabbed my fullest attention. The director, Fukunaga, shot each scene enclosed in the heavy and breathing life that is the African jungle and truly rugged streets and areas of African villages, positively staying faithful to his subject. I was also thoroughly pleased with the versatile craft of Idris Elba in his role of “the Commandant” as he took different personas of a troubled individual. As the film delved into the hurried life of young Agu (Abraham Attah), I sadly came to realize that I was following a story that I was not fully enveloped in emotionally. The onslaught of frantic violence with vague impetus and background behind it gave a large helping hand to this lack of immersion, as it all just portrayed a surface image without examining it in depth. The film failed to leave a lasting impact and gave off the perception of just wanting to create violence for the sake of showing brutality rather than leave even tidbits of educational information. The incessant profanity, moreover, only perpetuated the trope of “African” films made in a visibly American style. In all, I left the film feeling that the idea of the civil conflict-riddled African nation is all that Westerners wish to see, and that they would gladly be at ease not knowing any real historical background. So, while Beasts of No Nation is truly an entertaining and compelling piece of filmmaking, it fails to leave a real emotional impact, instead leaving only feelings of horror and blind sympathy for a Western construction of “Africa.”
The new Star Wars might not be shit
Film & Music • the STRAND
Neil McKenzie-Sutter | Contributor The dawn of a new Star Wars era is upon us, but some fans are worried the new movie is going to be shit, just like the prequel trilogy. Well, live long and prosper, because I’m here to tell you that the new movie won’t be shit, and the reason is that the prequel franchise isn’t quite as bad as people think. In an example of weird double standards, some fans are excited that the actors from the original trilogy are returning for the Abrams movie, perhaps indicating Star Wars’s return to cinematic glory, but there’s a problem with this assumption. What have Mark Hamill or Carrie Fisher done since Return of the Jedi? That’s a rhetorical question, and even Harrison Ford isn’t an incredible actor. Aside from Alec Guinness, James Earl Jones’s voice, and a surprisingly awesome performance by Ian McDiarmid (Palpatine), the acting was pretty weak in the originals. By comparison, the prequels have Liam Neeson in Phantom Menace, Christopher Lee in Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith, and Ewan McGregor in all three, and they’re pretty good. McDiarmid makes a strong return, Joel Edgerton and Jimmy Smits appear in Revenge, and even Jake Lloyd, who plays young Anakin in Phantom, objectively wasn’t bad for a child actor.
People point to bland performances by Natalie Portman, Hayden Christiansen, and Samuel L. Jackson as characteristic of the acting in the prequels, but really these roles are an exception, not the rule. This criticism seems more out of touch when you compare the generally lame acting in the originals. People also claim that too much tech and CGI ruined the prequels, but particularly regarding Phantom, this criticism doesn’t hold up. There’s something to say for not overwhelming your audience with visual stimuli, but CGI is simply a part of filmmaking now, and in this context Phantom represents a creative mix of CGI and the older techniques that characterized the original movies. For example, Yoda was still a puppet in Phantom, while Jar Jar Binks and Watto were a mix of puppets and CGI. The pod race is also a good example of ‘90s CGI that has aged quite well (compared to most other ‘90s movies that used CGI), and it combined CGI with camera tricks and real-world props. Another neat idea that George Lucas accomplished in Phantom was to film the Naboo and Coruscant scenes mostly with CGI, and the Tatooine scenes with grittier camera techniques and props,
Illustration | Emily Pollock
highlighting the character of each particular world. In the final analysis, people should realize that the prequel movies weren’t that bad, particularly in the case of Phantom, which did a good job of integrating some of the old characteristics that people liked about the old movies, but bringing some new cool
stuff as well. And, come on guys, Clones definitely sucked, but Revenge was essentially an average action movie. So, what’re you going to do this month? Re-watch all six movies, and take deep breaths. The new movie will be fine.
Why Suffragette matters The film’s take on second-wave feminism pokes through a disastrously tone-deaf marketing campaign
Image | Focus Features
Clarrie Feinstein | Arts & Culture Editor Recently, I saw the film Suffragette, and I went in with fairly low expectations. So far, critical reviews have been mediocre, and the social media backlash has been alarming. Prior to the premiere of the film, concern was raised over the exclusion of an important figure of the British “suffragette” movement: Sophie Duleep Singh, Indian-British suffragette and confidante of the Pankhurst sisters. In addition, the cast promoted a shirt which quoted from Emmeline Pankhurst’s speech, “I’d rather be a rebel than a slave”—a highly questionable oversight by the marketing team, which hardened my somewhatnegative preconceptions about this film. However, I admit I was pleasantly surprised by this movie, which showed the British women’s suffrage movement with nuance and modern sensibility. It seems strange to say, but the overall picture had a very second-wave feminist stance. The film dealt with issues of sexual assault, workplace
harassment, custody issues, marital inequality, pay inequality, and, of course, voting rights. The film’s main criticism has been its intentional and heavy-handed didactic approach to teach the audience a “history lesson.” But is it not a history lesson the public sorely needs? The film is called Suffragette, and from the very beginning the audience knows that this subject will be the primary focus. No one criticized the dense, “history-lesson” material in Lincoln, which was—spoiler alert—solely about Abraham Lincoln. Directed by Sarah Gavron and written by Abi Morgan, Suffragette stars Carey Mulligan, Helena Bonham-Carter, and Meryl Streep. Mulligan plays a fictional character, Maud Watts, and is representative of the “everywoman” at the time: a working class mother who has been doing factory-work her entire life. She later joins the Women’s Social and Political Union (WSPU), headed by Emmeline Pankhurst (Streep) and her
second-in-command, Edith Ellyn (Bonham-Carter), who is fictional but based on the real-life suffragette Edith Garrud. From here the film focuses on the WSPU, which was a militant faction of the suffrage movement. This group would often partake in hunger strikes, breaking windows of trademark buildings, and the burning or bombing of empty stately homes. In one scene, we see the infamous death of Emily Davison, who was trampled during the Epsom Derby by the king’s racehorse while she attempted to expose the suffragette banner to the public. Her death brought worldwide recognition to the feminist cause. In another unsettling scene, we see Mulligan’s character, imprisoned and on a hunger strike, being force-fed through a tube that was inserted through her nose, recreating the inhumane treatment of sociopolitical prisoners. Another particularly disturbing moment is created when a factory owner is seen sexually harassing a 12-year-old girl.
These scenes and others depict the severe injustice and prejudice that women in the early twentieth century had to endure on a daily basis. The film depicts this injustice in a visceral way that is all the more poignant because many of the film’s issues are experiences women still face today. While some critics believe this modern-angle approach to be blatantly obvious, it may only appear so from a modern perspective, as these are very real concerns for women now and then. Mulligan’s acting alone is a compelling reason to see this film, even if one is not particularly interested in this pivotal historical movement. Her performance is a heartrending and fully believable portrayal of a woman struggling to forge a path for herself in an environment that did not support or cultivate the intellectual development of women. We see Mulligan’s character in awe as she witnesses Ellyn’s medical education and achievements—she has never seen female accomplishment that is equivalent to a man’s. It is always important for feminism to be inclusive, and intersectional feminism is often never addressed, especially in mainstream entertainment. However, suffragette history has rarely been presented in popular cinema and is still a valid period to represent. Of course, it would be ideal to see a feminist perspective that included a non-white feminist angle, but in an industry that hardly represents woman-centric films period, I cannot dismiss this story. It exposes a vital movement in the history of feminism. I learned more from this two-hour feature than from any of my history textbooks growing up, which always included the women’s rights lesson from the “Women’s History” chapter of the textbook—often written by men. Women’s history should not be marginalized, but centralized in our education system, so young women cease to feel like lesser, but rather equal participants in our history.
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Film & Music • the STRAND
Andy Warhol: representation, portraits, and legacy Andrea Ingles | Contributor The world of popular culture and the icons that decorate its platform fascinated Andy Warhol from childhood. It was a form of escapism from a life in poverty in Pittsburgh, in the throes of the Great Depression. His adoration continued well into his adult life, which has made him one of the most influential artists to date. Warhol’s visual art and films, currently exhibited at the TIFF Bell Lightbox until the end of January, present an interesting study in how Warhol looked at people, often in novel and somewhat unnerving ways. Warhol’s love for popular culture resonates in his work and is particularly evident throughout the TIFF exhibition space. With the collage-like arrangement of Warhol’s art, personal objects, and memorabilia, the exhibit itself reflects on his artistic influences and personal tastes. In particular, his silkscreen prints of icons from the past century such as Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, and Mick Jagger present an interesting case study of people, portraiture, and culture. Warhol preferred working with photographic silkscreening, making his prints very easy to reproduce and giving a level of immortality to these icons in a way that contrasts with his films, particularly
his silent film series Screen Tests. ing of how Warhol both considered and Warhol handpicked hundreds of crafted stardom. people off the street who he thought The screen tests provide a more inpossessed a certain “star quality” for this timate look at their subjects, something series, created between 1964 and 1966. that the wider media at the time of their Some of these subjects, including Bob creation could not completely access. Dylan and Dennis Hopper, were famous Lou Reed and Bob Dylan’s screen tests in their own right. They all waltzed into completely obliterate their bad boy imhis famous silver studio (known as “The ages. You see two vulnerable boys, barely Factory”), sat in able to look you in the front of a 16mm eye. Dylan is silently Bolex camera, and The demeanour, rest- hostile and poignantly had their portrait lessness, and expression sad, as if on the verge of captured on film saying something that over the space of a captured on film are a he simply can’t. It’s few minutes. Some beautiful look at the hu- as if the camera forces of these people, such him to stop. Nico, who as Mario Montez man condition, which sang on tracks for The and Mary Woronow, obliterate the idea of Velvet Underground, is eventually became poised and calm with a stars of numerous stars as gods. constant look of thinkWarhol films. Screen ing about something. Tests provided a different meaning to the Edie Sedgwick, Warhol’s most famous idea of portraiture and its representa- muse, looks lost in the tangles of the tion. Warhol’s silkscreen prints, mean- Warhol Factory and fame. The Screen while, present a single dimension of his Tests are raw, unapologetic, and chalsubjects that is less intimate and taken lenge you to hold your gaze on the subfrom famous photographs, newspaper ject. They’re unsettling because you are clips, and other forms of media found staring back at another human from half in popular culture. Looking at the prints a century ago; it doesn’t feel like I’m starand films side-by-side, you get a feel- ing at Lou Reed-the-rock-‘n’-roll-god,
but Lou Reed-the-human-being, the boy who was exposed to electric shock treatment, in his first screening. The demeanour, restlessness, and expression captured on film are a beautiful look at the human condition, which obliterate the idea of stars as gods. As each screen test ends, the film fades from its subject, erasing the idea of immortality. Warhol’s early films were made with no script at all. Most of the time he would have his film running for hours, such as with Empire, an eight-hour-fiveminute silent film of the Empire State Building changing slowly through the day. His later work began to take on elements of traditional cinema with scripts and music, but always starred members of the Warhol Factory. “Our movies may have been home movies, but then our home wasn’t like anybody else’s,” Warhol once wrote in response to critics. Warhol’s films are unlike those of other filmmakers and truly can be seen as home movies, giving the public a very coveted taste of the inside of the famous Factory. Andy Warhol: Stars of the Silver Screen at the TIFF Bell Lightbox is on until January 24, 2016, with the Screen Tests showing on January 23, 2016.
The Questionable Quality Christmas Collection Bronwyn Nisbet-Gray | Film & Music Editor 1. “The Chrismukkah Bar Mitz-vahkkah” episode of The O.C. Perhaps the only real piece of art in this list, it’s been a holiday classic for a decade now. If your memory fails you, or if you’re just not a dedicated O.C. fan, it’s the episode where Seth and Summer throw Ryan a bar mitzvah in order to help pay for Johnny the surfer’s surgery. It’s probably the highlight of the unfortunate third season, and, of course, abounds with yamaclauses. 2. Michael Bublé’s Christmas Albums Familiar to everyone who’s ever shopped in a Shoppers Drug Mart sometime during the holiday season, the iconic holiday albums Let it Snow, It’s Christmas Time, and Christmas are great tools to suck all the holiday cheer out of your soul with poppy, upbeat, jazzy sounds. Best listened to with copious amounts of alcohol on hand, or, like, never. 3. A Very Murray Christmas While this new release will not hit Netflix until December 4, this Christmas special promises to be a great time with George Clooney, Amy Poehler, Jason Schwartzman, Miley Cyrus, and, of course, Bill Murray. IMDB describes the plot as: “Bill Murray worries no one will show up to his T.V. show due to a terrible snow-storm in New York City.” I’m not holding my breath for high art here, but I’m also always down for scripted gatherings of celebrities. 4. Love Actually Although in recent years Love Actually has come under extreme criticism for
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its ridiculous, kind-of-gross treatment of relationships and people generally, it’s pretty much the best Christmas film to come out of the UK in the past few years. Although problematic, it’s still a lot better than The Holiday, and Bill Nighy is charmingly rude as a washedout pop singer; look out for his choice insults throughout. 5. The John Lewis 2014 Christmas Advertisement These ads are pretty much only famous in the UK, but don’t dismiss the absolute charm of the 2014 ad. It’s guaranteed to make you feel like a shitty person who definitely needs to buy some expensive gifts from a department store. Also, there are penguins, so that’s a plus.
8. Sufjan Stevens’ Songs for Christmas and Silver and Gold: Songs for Christmas You’ve got to be pretty dedicated to Sufjan Stevens to ever want to deal with the ten-volume Christmas collection that also includes original short stories, essays, and original art. The volumes feature a mix of original and traditional songs and (true to Stevens’s
style) features some pretty weird stuff, including lots of “traditional” songs literally no one has ever heard of. A compendium of Volumes 1-5 costs $21.48 on Amazon, making it a perfect gift for those $25-or-less Secret Santa gift exchanges. It also got a 7.5 from Pitchfork, if you’re into that.
6. Joy David O. Russell’s new biopic about the woman who designed the Miracle Mop stars a surprising cast that includes Robert De Niro, Bradley Cooper, and J-Law. Joy promises to be subtly misogynistic despite starring a woman, and will most definitely be award-season fodder. It comes out on Christmas Day and will probably put a damper on any of your joyous Christmas-related plans, unless you’re into David O. Russell’s personal brand of shittiness. 7. Frozen Tangled is a better movie, but “Let it Go” is a pretty great winter-themed banger.
Graphic | Bronwyn Nisbet-Gray, sourced from Lost in Translation (2003)
Stranded • the STRAND
Cross words Ariana Douglas | Staff Contributer
Across 1. ___-___- ___, where are you? 13. Superior form of dance 14. Witch-king slayer of Rohan 15. Ireland, in Irish 16. ___ Tales of Spider-Man 18. Vic student gov. 20. Dies ___ (Latin) 21. Biblical gal 22. Wedding vow snippet 24. “Now ___ ___ me down to sleep” 25. ___ nom nom 27. Contributors 29. Cephalopod to be released 32. ___ Drescer 33. In txtspk, letters that often follow ‘w’ 35. It will ___ ___ tears 36. Rock ‘n’ Roll icon 38. Number of Dalmatians, to Caesar 39. Rehab group 40. English abbrev. of fromage supplémentaire 41. Initials for international relations 42. Featuring, for short 44. Star Trek actress initials 45. Fire-type adolescent 49. Princess ___, aka Peach 51. Sphere 52. ___ be or not 53. Neighbour of Ghana 56. ___ alla turca 58. ___ bear 61. ___-urns 62. ___ milk 63. Frozen treats restaurant chain 64. Not solids
Down 1. Homeric complaint 2. ___ u not? 3. Not mandatory 4. “You’re movin’ w/ your auntie and uncle in ___ ___” 5. Alpine sounds 6. World’s coolest five-year-old 7. Yiddish expression of exasperation 8. Blame 9. Chill agreement 10. Gambling cubes 11. ___ not 12. King Oedipus, informally 17. Paper ___ plastic 19. Kept 23. The Picture of ___ Grey 26. UofT college 28. Highest ___ ___
30. University staple 31. Newspaper boss 33. A constant emotion 34. A tractor, for example 37. Sleepy Hollow resident 42. Crafty fabric 43. “They’re taking the hobbits ___ Isengard!” 46. Post-BC 47. _-i-e-i-_ 48. ___ and behold 49. ___ Awards/Hawk 50. Cow language 54. ___ wan 55. Oh my ___ 57. C__l 59. ___ Joe 60. ___ test
The Strand buys the Toike Oike Horatio Butts | Business Reporter Strand Publications Inc. closed its deal today with the University of Toronto Engineering Society to purchase its monthly newsletter, the Toike Oike (pronounced Toee-kee Oh-ay-ki). The acquisition follows a trial issue of the Toike, wherein The Strand’s April 2015 Joke issue was reprinted under the Toike’s masthead with less original content and—most noticeably—worse jokes. The experiment was conducted in an attempt to increase Strand readership among those who delight at dick jokes and tired stereotypes about liberal arts students. The Strand now has access to a team of over nine people capable of making graphs to accompany news and opinion pieces by doing cool tricks in Microsoft Excel. Strand Co-Editor-in-Chief Anthony Burton highlighted the Toike’s managerial structure as a key asset in the acquisition. “Sometimes, we get an overload of people with creative and original ideas, so much so that they sometimes clash,” he said in a phone interview. “The genius of the Toike is in using people with no original ideas whatsoever. It’s unorthodox, for sure, sticking exclusively to
people not used to, or necessarily good at, this sort of thing. But the total lack of debate or idea exchange makes for a really cooperative and efficient newsroom, like an ant colony but less significant.” The purchase is part of Strand Publications Inc.’s overall plan to move towards new forms of digital media. The newspaper recently launched a website and has been working to find ways to create web-exclusive content while maintaining the integrity of the printed edition. “[The engineering students] will be unquestioningly doing grunt work in huge corporate structures for the rest of their lives,” Burton noted when asked about his plans for the newly-hired staffers. “It’ll be a huge boon to our paper to have people who are used to just fleshing out whatever half-baked idea you throw at them.” Copies of the Toike’s issue can be found on their newsstands. Copies of the original Strand issue can be found at issuu.com/thestrandpaper, but you have to go way back to find it.
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Stranded • the STRAND
New Emojis? Slew of Opinions! Ainsley MacDougall | Ediorial Assistant “I’m really glad Apple finally responded to my many complaints about the lack of a left-leaning pen. There is so much discrimination against lefties these days, and it helps to have that sort of representation in emojis.”
“I am very excited about the new update! Now I can finally show my respect to the deceased using a tasteful funeral urn! Yay!”
“Well, the eye one makes it so much easier for me to point out the Illuminati over text message and Instagram, which I do very often. Real eyes, realize, real lies.”
“Just the other day I’s was talking to my buddy Joe and said, ‘Hey Joey, don’t you wish there was a taco emoji?’ Because like, how great would that be? Oh yeah, we was having tacos and texting my wife, that’s important. I don’t just think about emojis all the time, me beings a man after all. Anyways he was like, ‘No way are they going to make a taco one, dude! The emoji system is so corrupt they’ll probably only be’s adding an avocado for the hippies.’ But I hads faith, and whaddya know, a taco emoji! Take that, Joe. He owes me money from poker anyway. That’s when we had the tacos.”
“I love the wastebasket. It’s a great way to tell my friends they’re trash.”
Alternate dialogue to Spectre scene leaked to Stranded! Sara Truuvert | Staff Writer INT. MANSION IN ROME—NIGHT JAMES BOND (poised, icy) steps softly towards the WIDOW (beautiful, haughty), who stands against the opposite wall. As he approaches, she whips open a black lace fan and holds it over her face. BOND is, as usual, completely unfazed. BOND All I need is a simple answer, signora. I assure you, it would be in your best interest to speak now. The WIDOW fans herself vigorously, avoiding BOND’s piercing gaze. He continues forward steadily, Britishly. BOND I’ll ask again. He is now directly in front of the WIDOW, mere inches from her face. He speaks softly. BOND How did your husband… BOND slides his fingers around the WIDOW’s wrists. BOND …ever manage to… BOND raises the WIDOW’s arms over her head. The fan falls to the ground. She stares into his eyes (they are still piercing). He leans closer. BOND …fulfill all of the University of Toronto’s degree requirements, including the transfer of credits from abroad, all in four years? The WIDOW gasps and wrenches her arms from BOND’s grasp. She clutches her heart. WIDOW My husband left that struggle behind many moons ago! Do not trouble me with it now. It is worthless to ask, Mr. Bond. Kill me, if you like. I will carry his secret to my— BOND lays a rugged yet gentlemanly hand on her cheek. Slowly, suavely, he puts his lips beside her ear and
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exhales. Immediately, the WIDOW trembles and flings her hand up to her forehead. BOND catches her as she slides down the wall. WIDOW Oh! All right! I will tell you everything! You must get your courses approved by multiple departments using specific documentation and paperwork. Even then your courses may not count towards your major until after many negotiations with administration, and only a limited number will count towards the number of advanced-level credits required to graduate!
holds her at arms length. She gazes up at him through dark lashes, impassive as ROSI on course selection day. BOND runs his hand over his forehead and sighs. He turns from the WIDOW and walks towards the door. WIDOW And don’t forget your breadth requirements, Mr. Bond. BOND flinches. Then he shakes himself, opens the door, and steps into the inky veil of night, black as the prospect of an unnecessary fifth year.
Beat. BOND blinks twice. Then he runs his finger over the WIDOW’s collarbone. BOND And what of the requirements for my major, SPYMAJ007? WIDOW You must select 1.5 credits from Group 1, 0.5 credits from Group 4, 1.0 credits from Group 6— BOND shakes his head and covers her mouth with his hand, which he quickly turns into a caress down to her jaw. BOND (forcing his voice into a seductive whisper) But what if Degree Explorer does me no good because my foreign credits have not transferred? WIDOW (gazing into his eyes) Then you’re on your own, Mr. Bond. BOND stares at the wall above the WIDOW’s head, calculating, compulsively stroking her shoulders. BOND There must be an easier way. WIDOW If there was, my husband would have found it! BOND fixes her with his most piercing of gazes and leans towards her until their lips are nearly touching. Suavely, he exhales again. Nothing. BOND frowns and
Photography | Bago Games, flickr