The Student 21/02/2012

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Tuesday February 21 2012 | Week 5

Of Mice and Men at the Edinburgh Lyceum

Exclusive interview with Dillon Francis

S I N C E 1887

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THesCOTsMAn

MUSIC »

CULTURE »

T H E U K ' S O LD E S T S T U D EN T N EW S PA P ER

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S cott ish S t udent Ne wspaper of the Year 2010

Thousands march for marriage equality

Cameron met with protests in Edinburgh

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE: Protestors rallied outside the Scottish Parliament Demonstrators travel from across Scotland to make the case for same-sex marriage at parliament Roisin McKelvey and Katherine Stewart AN EXUBERANT crowd attempted to woo First Minister Alex Salmond with a Valentine’s Day card reading, “Roses are white, thistles are blue, we believe in equal marriage and we hope the Scottish Government will too,” carried by campaigners at the Love Equally March in Edinburgh on Tuesday 14 February. More than 1,000 equal marriage supporters from across the country gathered in Bristo Square before marching down George IV Bridge and the Royal Mile to finish with a rally outside the Scottish Parliament. The march was organised in support of the Equal Marriage campaign, following the Scottish Government’s public consultation on equal marriage rights that ran between September and December 2011. Initial analysis suggests that over 50 thousand responses were received,

of which at least 24 thousand respondents supported same-sex marriage. Full analysis of the results is as yet incomplete, but publication is expected in March this year. The Scottish Government will also decide whether or not to legalise same-sex marriage during the spring. The high turnout included student groups from universities in Edinburgh, Glasgow, Stirling and Aberdeen, as well as representatives from Amnesty International Edinburgh, the Equality Network, Stonewall Scotland, LGBT Youth Scotland, NUS Scotland and the Scottish Youth Parliament. Several high-profile supporters of equal marriage spoke at the Holyrood rally, including the Scottish Youth Parliament chairman Grant Costello, the Scottish National Party (SNP) MSP Marco Biagi, the co-leader of the Scottish Green Party Patrick Harvie and Marilyn Jackson of the Humanist Society of Scotland. Many present wore fancy dress and carried homemade banners, balloons and placards, chanting and singing “All you need is love.” The official Scottish Youth Parliament event page on Facebook called for attendees to “show the love and positive vision for marriage by wearing wedding attire, bringing banners

and balloons,” and numerous participants gladly obliged. Katie Cunningham, a member of the University of Edinburgh Amnesty International group, explained that 12 group members had joined the march to show support for equal marriage because “it’s a human rights issue.” She praised the “diverse selection of support” for the introduction of same-sex marriage in Scotland, as demonstrated by the diversity of supporters present at the event.

[We'd] much rather have a marriage, a proper marriage, instead of any sort of civil partnership” Gemma Riddell, demonstrator from Aberdeen For many attendees of course, this was a matter of huge personal import. Among the official banners and placards of organisations such as Amnesty International and representatives of the Unitarian Church, were hand-made calls for equality and declarations of love. Gemma Riddell and Josefine

AlvA TrÄBerT

Sam Bradley

Björkqvist had travelled from Aberdeen to take part in the march. They carried banners announcing their engagement, stating that they would “much rather have a marriage, a proper marriage, instead of any sort of civil partnership, that seems to be the only option we have at the moment.” There was a sense of triumph at the turn-out and positive atmosphere. At the rally, the crowd clapped and cheered each speaker as they spoke of the successful event and hope for the future. Marco Biagi of the SNP commented that the march had been a “fantastic success, we’ve seen a thousand people marching through the city centre in support of equal marriage. “It’s more than anyone could have hoped for. It’s an amazing turnout, a show of support.” Biagi also spoke optimistically about the likelihood of the Scottish Government legalising same-sex marriage. “I’m entirely confident...We will see by the end of this term, marriage equality will have been passed…I have no doubt about that, I make this prediction now. “In a few years down the line from now, people will look back and wonder that it had to be fought over quite so hard.”

INDEPENDENCE TALKS between First Minister Alex Salmond and Prime Minister David Cameron held last week in Edinburgh drew a blank after the leaders disagreed on the date and practical issues of a potential referendum. Cameron started the day by giving a speech in the Apex International Hotel in the Grassmarket, before a view of Edinburgh Castle, during which he made his case for Scotland continuing to be part of the United Kingdom. He said, “whether in Edinburgh or London, the United Kingdom is a warm and stable home that millions envy. In an increasingly competitive world the future belongs to those who can cooperate or collaborate best. “I come here today with one simple message: I hope and wish that Scotland votes to remain part of the United Kingdom. “I believe that England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland are stronger together then they ever would be apart. It is time to speak out, whatever the consequences, because something very special is in danger.” Whilst the SNP have said in the past they aim to hold a referendum in 2014, Cameron has indicated that he would favour an earlier vote. If the referendum was held in 2014, it would coincide with the 700th anniversary of the Battle of Bannockburn. The two ministers later held talks inside St Andrew’s House on Calton Hill. Despite indicating that the talks had been congenial, Salmond was unimpressed and he told the BBC, “the Prime Minister should trust the Scottish Parliament and the Scottish people to organise their own referendum, it is after all, about Scotland’s future. “We are perfectly capable of organising a proper and democratic referendum and I think the Prime Minister should allow us to do that. “What we’re used to hearing from the London parties is a stream of negativity, so I welcome the fact that the Prime Minister has considered the viability of an independent Scotland.” Cameron’s visit was not unimpeded, however. Around 30 anti-cuts activists gathered outside the Apex Hotel and later at Calton Hill in an impromptu protest against the coalition government’s austerity programme. Two students from the University of Edinburgh were arrested and were due to appear at Edinburgh Sheriff Court last Friday.


Tuesday February 21 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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@EdStudentNews

MIT launches innovative online course

The Student Newspaper | 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJ Email: editors@studentnewspaper.org

What’s in this issue

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NEWS »p1-4

"TAKE ME TO EDINBURGH ZOO" p4

Birmingham students do charity hitchhike. The animal costumes were just for fun.

COMMENT »p7-9

STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU p 7

Michael Weinberger and Amabel Crowe dispute whether tar fuel is ethical.

FEATURES »p10-11

HANGING ON THE TELEPHONE p10 Melissa Geere learns the place of Nightline in students' lives.

VIDEO DIDN'T KILL THE RADIO STAR p11

Renowned university offers free web-based electronics course Thurston Smalley

THE MASSACHUSETTS Institute of Technology (MIT) has begun enrolling students in its new prototype online learning initiative, MITx, the university announced this week. Enrollment in the initiative’s first course, a class on electricity and circuits called 6.002x, is free and open to the public. The course will run between March 9 and June 8. 6.002x is a ‘fully automated’ version of MIT’s on-campus offering, 6.002, which is a required course for all of the university’s first-year students of electrical engineering. It is designed to facilitate and streamline a student’s transition from the study of physics to electrical engineering. Ben Shaya, MIT student , who took 6.002 last year, told The Student that it was an ‘invaluable’ course. He said, “it teaches the absolute fundamentals of electrical analysis, which is used in all subsequent courses. It can be slow or tedious at times, but is well worth the effort. “I think MITx is a wonderful idea. The vast majority of people can’t take classes at MIT, including more than a

few people who would be able to handle the workload.” MIT, which routinely ranks among the world’s top five universities, had less than one place for every ten applications during its last admission cycle. By piloting a campaign to open its educational resources to the Internet community, MIT hopes to increase access and “break down barriers to education.”

it teaches the absolute fundamentals of electrical analysis, which is used in all subsequent courses. it can be slow or tedious at times, but is well worth the effort.” Ben Shaya, MIT Student

Though 6.002x will be open to the public, MIT maintains that the course will replicate the intensity of its oncampus sibling. Students will use an online version of the same textbook as their on-campus counterparts and will be required to adhere to a code of honour that forbids giving or receiving unauthorised help. In addition, the online course’s prerequisites, which include a background in linear algebra, differential equations and advanced physics, will disqualify

all but the most accomplished students. Those who succeed in the course will be awarded an MITx certificate of completion. In a course introduction video posted to the MITx website, Anant Agarwal, one of 6.002x’s main professors, acknowledged that the course would be “hard,” but urged students to “stick with us.” Prof Agarwal, who lists a Guinness World Record and 2011 Scientific American top ten world-changing idea among his accomplishments, teaches 6.002 on MIT’s campus. He is also the director of the MIT Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence Laboratory (CSAIL). Faculty and student reception of MITx has been overwhelmingly positive, but the initiative is not without its critics. Among them is MIT Mechanical Engineering Professor Emeritus Woodie Flowers PhD ‘73. Prof. Flowers published a piece in this month’s edition of the MIT Faculty Newsletter that sought to distinguish between “education” and “training,” arguing that education is achieved through mentorship and person-toperson interaction, two things that completion of MITx is accomplished without. He wrote, “in many cases, learning the parts is training while understanding and being creative about the whole requires education. “I hope ... we will compete based on the quality of the students’ residential experience.”

Geraint Ellis proves that despite the existence of Chris Moyles, radio is still popular.

SCIENCE &ENVIRONMENT » p12­13

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ICE, ICE BABY p12

Kieran Tierney discovers that there's more than giant squids in underground lakes.

LIFESTYLE »p15

"I CAN GO THE DISTANCE" p15

Lewis Dunne and Victoria Madden debate whether going the distance is a Herculean effort or worth it.

CULTURE »p18-19 WE ARE FAMILY p19

Zoe Blah visits Edinburgh Printmakers to learn about the meaning of family.

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HARE & HOUNDS LEAVE TORTOISE BEHIND p26 Daniel Ashworth reports on the Hare & Hounds success.

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PHALLIC SYMBOL p20

SPORT »p26-27

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FILM »p20­21

Robert Dickie has a lie down on Freud's couch to discuss psychoanalysis's role in films.

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Tuesday February 21 2012 studentnewspaper.org

News 3

Nina Seale

TO PROTEST against rising fees, lack of bursaries and hidden course costs, the National Union of Students (NUS) is organising a mass student walkout to take place on Wednesday March 14. This will be the culmination of a week of campaigning regarding the higher fees, with students nationwide walking out of lectures, seminars and tutorials. NUS Scotland supports the walkout, but a spokesperson explained, “we will be taking part in a series of activities all that week on this issue, it’s more about how we, up in Scotland, can do our bit to help. “We’ll be supporting associations up here however they’d like us to. However, calling for a walkout in Scotland isn’t necessarily the best way to influence David Willets or Vince Cable in London.” It is uncertain whether students of the University of Edinburgh will be taking part in the walkout. On Tuesday February 21, the motion of supporting NUS’ s Week of Action will be proposed to the Edinburgh University Students’ Association (EUSA) Student Council and they will decide their policy. EUSA President Matt McPherson told The Student, “if Student Council pass the motion being put to it by Academic Services Convener, Hugh Murdoch, EUSA will be supporting

the walkout. “I don’t think anyone believes that a week of action will force the Government into a u-turn, but it will bring its policies into the light for the British public to see, and they will remember it at the next general election. “We need opposition parties on-side as much as the government, because we’re in this campaign for the long haul.” The University of Edinburgh went some way to reassure students that they should not worry about their grades being affected by taking part. A spokesperson for the University said, “the University respects the right of its students to air their concerns as long as it is done in a peaceful and constructive manner. “On a background note, it is understood that students will not be penalised if they walk out on lectures. If it’s a lab course, however, this may affect things. But that is something that students will have to take up with their individual schools.” EUSA is concerned to make sure there is no academic penalty for the walkout, McPherson explained, “Whatever its political aims, EUSA is committed to ensuring no student’s degree suffers from action we take. “I’ll be talking closely with University officials, particularly the University Secretary, to mitigate the impact of any walkout on students’ grades. “We must get assurances from the University, within reason, that students won’t be punished for taking part.”

ninA seAle

NUS plan student strikes as part of spring offensive

FOrEVEr ALONE: Lecture theatres could be emptied, should the NUS be successful

Anger at university top brass’s pay increase David Blair

IT WAS revealed last week that five university heads received pay increases of 20 per cent or over compared to their earnings for the 2009/10 period. 56 university heads enjoyed wage increases and 13 were over five per cent of their previous year’s earnings, all of which were above inflation. This news comes in spite of the fact that the Business Secretary, Vince Cable, advised university heads to show restraint when it came to pay increases. Speaking to The Telegraph, a spokesperson for the Department of Business, Innovation and Skills said, “universities should bear in mind that everyone is having to hold down their

costs at the moment. They must ensure they offer good value for money for the benefit of their students. “Ministers have called on universities to demonstrate pay restraint and expect that the lead on this should come from the very top.” They did, however, call attention to the fact that the final decision lay with the universities and not with the Government. The largest pay increase went to the incoming chief of City University in London, Professor Paul Curran, who received a 35 per cent increase on his predecessor’s pay. The highest paid university head is Professor Andrew Hamilton of Oxford University, whose university income came in at £424,000, more than 14

times that of the average Scottish secondary school teacher. The average vice-chancellor’s pay was £239,000. Many students have seen this development as worrying, given that the pay increases were made very soon after the UK Government increased the cap on university tuition fees. Robin Parker, president of the National Union of Students Scotland said, “it’s disgraceful to see principals receiving such high pay awards, particularly after so many pleaded poverty to the Scottish Government and introduced high tuition fees for students from the rest of the UK. “At a time when all areas of Scottish society are facing an economic squeeze, it’s unacceptable for university principals to be receiving such pay

searchers looked at, named ‘Aurora B’ and ‘Polo,’ are key to this process of separating the chromosomes into new nuclei. Dr Mar Carmena of the Wellcome Trust Centre and one of the authors of the study said that, “there is a lot of interest in the development of new drugs that inhibit Polo and Aurora; so far they are still on clinical trials.” It is hoped that new anti-mitotic drugs will be developed that will target these proteins in cancer cells, helping to kill off dividing cancerous cells. Anti-mitotic drugs are currently used in the treatment of some forms of cancer, but Dr Carmena said that, “there is a need to find better drugs with less undesirable secondary effects

and toxicity.” While some drugs currently used in chemotherapy treatments have been shown to be effective in the treatment of some cancers, they also have serious side effects such as bone marrow suppression (which consequently decreases the production of blood cells which help fight off infection.) For other drugs, the parts of the cell that they target in order to prevent division can become resistant to treatment, lessening their effectiveness. The team used powerful microscopes to view the cells in 3D to map the position of proteins within cells. They could then identify how different proteins and enzymes work to activate mitosis.

increases.” Nicola Dandridge, chief executive of Universities UK, the representative body for vice-chancellors defended the wage increases. Speaking to The Telegraph, she said, “the remuneration packages for vice-chancellors reflect what it takes to recruit and retain individuals able to run complex, multimillion pound organisations, which are operating in an increasingly competitive global market.” These increases call attention to the findings of a recent Scottish Government review into the governance of universities in Scotland. The report, headed by Ferdinand von Prondzynski, the principal of Robert Gordon University, recommends

that well paid university principals should no longer receive bonuses and that pay rises should be linked to the average increases afforded to other members of staff. It also proposes that wages be set by remuneration committees composed of both staff and students. Speaking to The Student, Robin Parker said, “we fully support the Review’s finding that students, like staff, should be involved in addressing principal’s pay. “By including the voice of students at every stage, and addressing the issue of spiralling pay levels for senior management, we can make certain that public money is put to better use, such as improving access for students from disadvantaged backgrounds.”

Lewis Macdonald

RESEARCHERS AT the University of Edinburgh have made new discoveries about the way in which cells divide that could offer better ways of treating cancers. Scientists working at the University’s Wellcome Trust Centre for Cell Biology have been studying two proteins that are crucial for the division of cells or mitosis. Their findings were published in the journal PLoS Biology in January. When a eukaryotic cell divides, its chromosomes are separated into two identical nuclei which form the basis of two new cells. The proteins the re-

DIVIDE AND CONQUEr: A cell undergoing mitosis Dr Carmena said that, “cell division is a complex and tightly regulated process, and when it goes out of control this can lead to cancer. The greater our

FliCKr: UneD

University makes cancer breakthrough

understanding of the proteins that control cell division, the better equipped scientists will be to design more effective treatments against cancer.”


Tuesday February 21 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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4 News

@EdStudentNews

Vintage Village Fete held in Bristo Square

Lectures rescheduled after ceiling collapse

Sarah Mitchell

A PIECE of the ceiling in a lecture theatre in King's Buildings collapsed in last week. A ceiling panel with about the length and width of a door fell down the evening Friday February 10. The panel fell in the evening when no students were present in Ashworth Lecture Theatre 1. Lectures were relocated as the ceiling was being repaired and re-assessed for health and safety last week. The Ashworth Building is 82 years old and the lecture theatre is mostly used for Natural History lectures. Renovations should be complete this week. NS

EDINBURGH MOVIE Production Society (EMPS) held its annual 24 hour movie competition last weekend. Competitors had 24 hours to write, film and produce a short film of between two and six minutes long. At the launch of the competition at the Filmhouse, it was announced that films had to be on the theme of ‘betrothal’ and must include a boot and the line “hold your breath, I promise this will be fun.” 20 people took part in the competition. Charlotte Lelong, president of EMPS said, “this is the most accessible competition we put on every year. Everyone’s welcome, we provide equipment and opportunity to meet new people. It’s also completely free.” The winning video was announced at the EMPS wrap party ceilidh in Teviot on Monday night. AD

Innovative learning week postpones classes

INNOVATIVE LEARNING Week is taking place this week with highlights including meditation sessions and building time machines. The School of Social and Political Sciences is organising a bus tour of suburban Edinburgh being called “The Real Edinburgh.” There are also workshops taking place to teach students to create mobile phone apps. Students studying for a maths or science degree will also have the opportunity to get involved in developing new maths resources at the National Museum of Scotland. AD

MUSIC BUS: Local musical talent was showcased on a bus

AlAsDAir DrennAn

Movie production society holds 24 hour film comp

LAST THURSDAY, “The Vintage Village Fete” transformed Bristo Square into a vintage spectacular, creating an explosive, colourful display in the heart of the University campus. From 10am onwards, Bristo Square was home to many different attractions, not failing to please the most ardent vintage enthusiast with bespoke vintage markets in tents, which offered an array of produce, such as clothes and jewellery. The food and drink for the event included catering by the popular cafe Urban Angel, the coffee shop Artisan Roast, the Eteaket Tea Boutique & Cafe and The Chocolate Tree. Penhaligon’s of London also supported the fete, hosting a fundraiser, and offering a range of luxury perfumes and fragrances at their stall on the day. Other attractions included a secret 'Factory Cinema,' which was created from 200 metres of foil, showcasing the work of artist Andy Warhol. The fete also offered an eclectic lineup of Gramphone DJs, glow-inthe-dark jelly sculptures and vintage barbers to entertain the curious bystander- ensuring that the event lived up to its tag-line, “you won’t believe your bloomin’ eyes!” One of the most popular attractions of the day proved to be the fantastic

display of live music that was performed on a vintage double-decker bus, showcasing a wide selection of local musical talent. The event saw performances from Matt Norris and the Moon, Three for a Girl, MJ Vincent and the 'Live and Not Signed' winners Henry Bird and Sam Grant to name a few. All proceeds from the event will be going to arts charities such as The Forest, Craigmillar Community Arts and Cardboard Citizens. Last week, the fete organisers set up a vintage picnic in the library and a vintage pop-up teashop in George Square, giving students a taster of what the fete would have to offer. Third year Mathematics student Caitlin Stronach told The Student, “I think on the whole the vintage village fete is a really innovative idea – it’s a great way of showcasing new musicians while helping local charities in the process. “There was such a good atmosphere and all the students seemed to be really enjoying the delicious food and drink that was on offer.” However, some students have criticised the fete’s entrance fee. A fourth year English Literature student said, “I feel like there are enough charity and vintage shops in Edinburgh anyway and I don’t see why we should need to pay to just go in and spend more money.”

Birmingham students hitchhike to Edinburgh Nina Seale

50 STUDENTS from the University of Birmingham hitchhiked from Birmingham to Edinburgh for charity last weekend. The aim of the journey was to raise money for Carnival RAG, the University of Birmingham’s charity society that supports a range of local charities including St Mary’s Hospice and Kids Adventure. All participants wore animalthemed fancy dress and carried signs pleading motorists to carry them closer to Edinburgh. The sponsorship pledges so far have reached over £2,000. The group was split into teams of two or three and the winning team made the journey in seven hours with only six lifts. Member of the winning team Nilam Ark told the The Student, “at first it was difficult to get lifts, but once we got to the service stations it was really easy because you got to talk to people instead of running up to their cars at traffic lights. “We were expecting a lot of horrible people, strange people, dodgy people, but everyone who took us was really lovely. There was a manageress at a service station who was like ‘you can’t pitch here because we only support our own charities’ so we had to leave but then we got a lift straight after that when we walked out so it was really good.” Carnival RAG organises three hitchhikes a year to places like Newquay and Amsterdam, as well

ninA seAle

IN

Brief

DRESSED UP: All participants dressed as animals for charity as other events like ‘Escape and Evade,’ when people have 72 hours to get as far away from Birmingham as possible without spending any money. Co-ordinator Kit Neill discussed the safety issues with The Student, “this is an event that’s been going on for years and years and we’ve never really had any issues with safety. “We make sure no one hitches on their own, because that’s simply not

safe. We say groups of two or three and discourage all girl groups, but we don’t rule them out.” The last team to get in took 17 hours, after starting their journey at 6.30am. But as they managed the whole trip without spending a penny or getting in the safety car, they were still successful. Participant Hemalvi Patani said, “we were in Liverpool for longer

than we expected because we got in a coach that was going via Liverpool to Livingstone, which is near Edinburgh. We didn’t take the safety car at all, we were better than that. “We wanted to get through the whole day ourselves without help, much as we wanted to several times through the day, but the safety car is known as the most embarrassing thing you can do on these hitchhiking trips.”


Chaplaincy Potterrow Tue 28 February 12.00am - 4.00pm

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Tuesday February 21 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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6 Editorial

Editorial

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The Student discusses the cultural dis-crepe-ancies of pancakes PANCAKE

noun

a thin, flat cake of batter, fried on both sides in a pan and typically

SHROVE TUESDAY is a quintessential part of the British calendar, with countless people using it as a valid excuse to gorge on the tasty treat that is pancakes. Known to come in a variety of shapes and sizes, with fillings that run the full spectrum from sweet to savoury, they remain a staple diet on this day each year. Whilst most enjoy the fun involved in the frying process, behind the frivolity there is a cultural significance for this most bizarre of culinary traditions.

The word shrove is derived from the past tense of the verb 'to shrive,' meaning the absolution of one’s sins through confession and acts of penance. Traditionally, Christians were expected to spend a week of confession in the lead up to the penitential season, with Shrove Tuesday marking the day before the beginning of Lent. The importance of eating pancakes on this day arose out of a need to use up store items in preparation for the Lent fast. Given that ingredients such as sugar, butter, milk and eggs were often in surplus, it is not surprising that the resulting food that emerged was the one we know and love today. Clearly, the religious connotation associated with the food has dwindled in modern society. It is unlikely that the average pancake consumer today approaches their feasting as a preparation for subsequent fasting. So why has Shrove Tuesday, or as it has since been renamed ‘Pancake Day,’ become such a cultural phenomenon? It is evident that outside of the UK the significance of eating pancakes on this day is non-existent. Whilst

America is well known for its own style of pancakes- being considerably thicker and fluffier than the British version, there is no love shared between the cereal and the Christian holiday. Perhaps this is due in part to the fact that on every other day of the year, Britons seem uninterested in the cake, whilst in America it is no stranger to the breakfast table. However, it is arguable that America has a far more exciting variation on the ‘Shrove’ theme. Mardi Gras, which comes from the French for 'fat Tuesday,' refers to a carnival of celebrations involving the eating of fattier and richer foods before the feasting of Lenten season. Involving masks, costumes, parades and competitions, it is a far more extravagant affair than what Britain has to offer. Clearly then, the obsession that has arisen out of this unconventional holiday remains a mystery. It might not be as ostentatious as the festivities from our friends across the pond, but its peculiar importance and the childish pleasure it creates would be sorely missed if it were to disappear.

AS THE resident American on staff, I’m frequently made fun of for carelessly leaving ‘z’s in my articles, but nothing compares to the haranguing I got for not knowing what Pancake Day was. The US is no stranger to stupid holidays. Earlier this month, Americans celebrated Groundhog Day- when, as Bill Murray puts it in the eponymous film, we watch “a large squirrel predicting the weather.” If the groundhog sees its shadow, we’ll have a long winter and somehow he always does (metaphor alert!). Like most American traditions, Groundhog Day is a bastardised German pagan holiday and the same could be argued about our pancakes; except, they are actually better or at least have cooler names. Although made out of the same ingredients as Scottish pancakes, you can’t get American pancakes pre-packaged. Rather, they’re freshly fried up on the griddle, hence one of their many nicknames- griddlecakes. Once off the griddle, they’re drowned in syrup (although maple syrup tastes better, it’s

actually Canadian, so a hearty squeeze of Aunt Jemima- the mammy figure of breakfast foods- will do.) These are pancakes at their best and most addictive; as the expression affectionately goes, “they’re selling like hotcakes!” Some variation on ‘cake’ is often used as a nickname because pancakes can be decadent if loaded with chocolate chips, blueberries or bananas (like the annoying Jack Johnson song). This doesn’t apply to jonnycakes though- a cornmeal-based pancake, a favourite of the original colonists and one of Rhode Island’s few legacies. In fact, pancake varieties often represent important moments in American history. Sourdough pancakes became a staple of the Oregon Trail because sourdough lasts forever, unlike the Gold Rush. Meanwhile, silver-dollar pancakes were invented after the introduction of the same coin in 1979, but are thankfully a little larger than the currency. Some pancakes just represent cultural assimilation, such as the Dutch baby- a bowl-shaped pancake

similar to German apfelpfannkuchen and named after the Pennsylvania Dutch population. The biggest culture shock relates to flapjacks. Contrary to British oats, American flapjacks are synonymous with pancake and have been used that th way ever since the 17 century. Shakespeare even referred to them in Pericles, “Come, thou shant go home, and we’ll have flesh for holidays, fish for fasting-days, and moreo’er puddings and flap-jacks, and thou shalt be welcome.” Sorry, UK- joke’s on you. Regardless of what we call them, American pancakes are delicious and should be experienced by all. You can find your fixings at Lupe Pintos. Jules Hilbert puts it best in Stranger than Fiction, when he advises Harold Crick on the best way to live his last days out, “Hell Harold, you could just eat nothing but pancakes if you wanted.” Indeed.

otic abuse’ is the first line of defence. However the opening paragraph anecdotally claims that, “anyone who has been to the doctor with a flu has had an antibiotic prescribed on at least one occasion.” It is exactly this presumption that lies behind so many unnecessary and desultory antibiotic descriptions. All colds and flu, and most sore throats, coughs or infections are caused by viruses and are completely unaffected by antibiotics. The expectation that antibiotics are a cure-all solution has led

to increased GP time being dedicated to seeing patients who are untreatable (such as though with flu) and, unfortunately, the rise of antibiotics being prescribed in an effort to pacify the patient. Whilst the article was clearly thoughtfully written, it would perhaps be more useful to educate your readers towards avoiding antibiotic abuse, rather than paraphrasing the mechanisms of antibiotic resistance.

No experience necessary! Track us down: » In person: Meetings every Tuesday in Teviot Dining Hall at 1.15pm. Socials: Tuesdays in The Counting House at 8.30pm. Email: editors@studentnewspaper.org Facebook: tinyurl.com/StudentFacebook Twitter: twitter.com/TheStudentPaper Tumblr: thestudentpaper.tumblr.com A quick history lesson...

The Student was launched by Scottish novelist and poet Robert Louis Stevenson in 1887 as an independent voice for Edinburgh's literati. It is Britain's oldest student newspaper and is an independent publication, reaching more than 10,000 University of Edinburgh students every week. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Lord Kitchener, David Lloyd George and Winston Churchill are a few of the famous people who have been associated with the paper. In the early 1970s, Gordon Brown worked as a news editor and diary columnist, working alongside Robin Cook who at the time was in charge of film and concert reviews.

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student newspaper, 60 Pleasance, edinburgh eH8 9TJ. Tel: 0131 650 9189. The Student lists links to third party websites, but does not endorse them or guarantee their authenticity or accuracy. © student newspaper society. All rights reserved. no section in whole or part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmited in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission of the publisher. The Student is published by the student newspaper society, 60 Pleasance, edinburgh eH8 9TJ. Distributed by lothian Couriers, 3 John Muir Place, Dunbar eH42 1GD. Tel: 01368 860115. Printed by Cumbrian newsprint (part of the Cn Group), Carlisle Print Centre, newspaper House, Dalston road, Cumbria CA2 5UA, on Monday February 20 2012. Tel: 01228 612600. registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

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Tess

Letter to the Editors [Regarding the Science & Environment article Bacteria biting back [The Student, February 7] Dear Editors, It was hard not to be struck by the irony of your article Bacteria biting back [published February 7th 2012]. The article raises the very valid point that undiscerning and perfunctory prescription of general antibiotics is a central problem in the rise of ‘superbugs’, and that ‘restricting antibi-

Lindsey Robinson


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Tuesday February 21 2012 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Comment 7

Debate: ethical oil or tarmageddon?

AMABEL: Aggressively framing the debate as a choice between ‘ethical oil’ and ‘conflict oil’ is not only deceptive, but utterly illogical. The tar sands are not ethical; they have destroyed the livelihoods of First Nations peoples, polluting the Athabasca River and turning boreal forest into toxic lakes. Cancer rates in local communities have shot up and constitutional rights are being completely ignored. However, it is not only local devastation that is concerning. Tar sands development prevents any hope of achieving sufficient global greenhouse gas emissions cuts to prevent catastrophic climate change. Wellto-tank emissions are approximately 82 per cent higher than conventional oil. The adverse effects of climate change are proving, and will continue to prove, most severe for developing countries. It is unethical for the poorest of the poor, who are most dependent on climate-related activities, to suffer because we are willing to support such emissions-intensive energy resources. Aside from the issues with tar sands, the ‘ethical vs. conflict oil’ argument is fundamentally flawed. The same companies that extract Canada’s ‘ethical oil’ also operate in repressive regimes, giving us ‘conflict oil.’ Shell is responsible for around 20 per cent of tar sands extraction, and has been central to environmental and human rights atrocities in Nigeria for the last 50 years.

ATHABASCA RIVER: Tar sands extraction has caused water pollution in Alberta The repression cited is worthy of condemnation, but irrelevant to the debate on tar sands. I’d encourage campaigning in support of victims of human rights abuses; concerns about women in Saudi Arabia should focus on support for their liberation, and not be warped in order to advance the most destructive project on earth. MICHAEL: Firstly, setting ethical oil next to conflict oil is not fundamentally flawed because even though Shell does work in other nations, every drop of Canadian oil means one less drop needed from those other nations to satisfy global demand. Next, when one actually does a bit of research, one finds a far different picture than the “tar sands porn” spewed by Greenpeace. Indeed, the tar sands industry is the largest employer of Aboriginals in Canada, further enabling them to be self-sufficient peoples. As for “turning the boreal forest into toxic lakes,” most oil sands operations don’t even have tailing ponds and only 0.01 per cent of Canada’s boreal forest is set for surface mining. But let us be fair and note that tailing ponds kill 1,000 birds yearly. Greenpeace always forgets to mention that “green turbines” in the US wantonly slaughter an estimated 75,000 to 275,000 birds blender-style every year. You mentioned pollution of the Athabasca River, but less than 1 per cent is used by the oil sands and several monitoring agencies recently assessed the river and found that the water was cleaner downstream than upstream relative to the tar sands. As for the cancer hysteria, Martin Tobias, public health physician for New Zealand’s Ministry of Health, noted that he has never heard of “any other indigenous population… who

show lower cancer incidence rates overall and for most cancer types” than their non-indigenous peers. Regarding carbon emissions, environmentalists are the ones blowing hot air, as the tar sands only account for a miniscule, less-than-significant 0.1 per cent of human carbon emissions. Despite this, the Alberta Government recently invested £1.3 billion in carbon capture technology. Do really you think they have investments like that in Nigeria or Iraq, where they emit even more carbon dioxide than the tar sands?

AMABEL: Even the oil friendly Petroleum Economist understands that ‘ethical oil’ is founded on “strange arguments that show little grasp of the global economy, or the way its most important commodity is traded.” Saudi Arabia and the other ‘conflict nations’ will never want for customers in the current market. In fact, the only way those regimes might be penalised is if total demand declined. The most ethical thing we can do is consume a lot less oil- a fanciful notion perhaps, but the Transition Network has inspired thousands of communities across the globe to do just that. We need to develop this approach, rather than grasp at implausible excuses to further advance the fundamentally destructive tar sands. The idea that the tar sands industry is enabling First Nation communities to become self-sufficient peoples is frankly insulting. These are people who have lived off the land for hundreds of years, but now their livelihoods have been ravaged and the game animals and fish they eat have tumours and mutations. Peer-reviewed science consistently documents pollution of the Athabasca River. Labelling high incidents

of cancer rates as hysteria is also obnoxious: in one 1,200 resident-town downstream from the tar sands, there have been six cases of a rare and lethal bile duct cancer, which normally occurs no more than once per 100,000 people. The attempt to undermine the scale of the tar sands similarly needs some factual correction. It is already the largest industrial project on earth, including toxic lakes spanning 60 km. Projected expansion involves mining an area of forest the size of England, with a tripling of associated greenhouse gas emissions between 2008 and 2020. The tar sands illustrate a shocking lack of empathy for those suffering on the front line of climate change, as well as for the indigenous populations of Alberta. To then call it ‘ethical oil’ is audacious. MICHAEL: To claim that only a total decline in demand can penalise regimes simply is not true. To name one example, an international embargo would be most effective. Regarding the 1,200 residenttown, Fort Chipewyan, a meticulous investigation was immediately put in place. Do you think this would happen in Iraq? The Cancer Board concluded that, “of the six suspected cases [of cholangiocarcinoma] reported by Dr O’Connor, two were confirmed… which was within the expected range.” And then, when Dr John O’Connor was questioned, he attempted to stonewall Alberta’s Chief Medical Officer of Health!. Finally, in 2009 Alberta’s College of Physicians and Surgeons later found that O’Connor had committed “serious ethical breaches.” Indeed, cancer hysteria, thanks to a disgraced pseudo-physician. And even if the cancer scare were true, six deaths pale in comparison to the oil-fuelled tribal

WiKiMeDiA : nAsA eArTH OBservATOrY

MICHAEL: The world must make a clear and simple choice when considering what kind of oil to purchase. Ethical oil or conflict oil. We can choose to purchase Saudi Arabian oil to bankroll a theocratic dictatorship that denies women equality. Perhaps we can purchase oil from Iran, whose leader wants Israel to be “wiped off the map.” What about Sudanese oil, which is laced with as much blood as it is fuel? Perhaps Nigeria would be better, considering all the money goes to environmentally negligent kleptocrats. Yes, the world can continue to purchase from these countries, further destabilising global peace, and reinforcing human rights violations. Or the world can turn to ethical oil, as found in the Alberta tar sands. Purchasing oil from the tar sands supports a liberal democracy where women enjoy full rights. In fact, Mayor Melissa Blake, of Fort MacMurray (the centre city of the tar sands), would be sentenced to death in Saudi Arabia just for being a female politician. Purchasing from the tar sands puts millions of dollars in taxes into global peacekeeping. Furthermore, purchasing oil from the tar sands aids an industry with union rights, which puts worker safety first. Not to mention that the tar sands uphold a transparent environmentally conscious government where freedom of speech is exercisable. The choice is clear: dictatorships, theocracies, genocidal regimes or a peaceful democratic society that works to further human rights and global stability.

leO reYnOlDs

As the EU votes on whether to import Canadian tar sands, Michael Weinberger and Amabel Crowe debate the controversial fuel source genocide in Sudan that has killed over 300,000 people. The fact of the matter remains that when the world sources oil from violent dictatorships, intolerable theocracies, bloodthirsty warlords and terror crazed fundamentalists, the world suppresses global stability, enforces female suppression and aids genocides. Nobody wins. Indeed, Albertan Oil is where the world should source its oil. Every last square centimetre of land of the mere 2 per cent that is to be mined will go through reforestation. Every last drop of bitumen helps support a safe, humane democracy that values women’s rights. Every last worker has the fortune to be protected by safety regulations and the liberty to join unions. Every last penny of tax goes through a transparent financial system so that more hospitals and doctors, more schools and teachers brighten not only Alberta’s future, but also the world’s. AMABEL: Tar sands demonstrate that oil extraction in a liberal democracy can be equally as destructive to communities, ecosystems and climate as anywhere else in the world. Last year monitoring systems, which are backed by tar sands producers, were found to be incapable of assessing the effects of production on the environment, especially on water. Furthermore, the “meticulous” investigation into cancer rates is a little less commendable, when the reality is that the government’s press release did not align at all with the findings. A peer review into the Alberta Health Services cancer investigation showed a 30 per cent increase in cancers in Fort Chipewyan compared with what would be expected over the previous twelve years. Almost all of the cancer types that were elevated have been linked scientifically to chemicals in oil or tar. The false dichotomy of tar sands and women’s rights is even more disgraceful considering that in Alberta’s tar sands region rates of sexual violence towards women have increased and women working in the industry have reported sexual harassment and gender discrimination. The ‘ethical oil’ message, by intentionally deceiving, confusing, and subverting public awareness undermines, rather than strengthens, democracy. Tar sands are in a league of their own when it comes to resource depletion, greenhouse gas emissions and environmental destruction. Just this week, we saw a group of Nobel Peace Laureates including Archbishop Desmond Tutu urging the government to steer clear of tar sands because they fundamentally “threaten the health of the planet.” If supporting them would actually improve the situation in Saudi Arabia, Sudan or Nigeria, there may be an argument to be had. But it won’t. No, the only outcome is increased suffering: continued destruction of communities and ecosystems and global environmental catastrophe. No outrageous propaganda attempts will disguise these facts, or make tar sands acceptable.


Tuesday February 21 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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8 Comment

Secularism under fire Figgy Pudding THE HUMBLE fig-leaf, so often the foliage of choice for those seeking to mask their shame, was itself the source of embarrassment for MPs this week when it was revealed that £400,000 of pubicsector money has been spent on twelve fig trees for the atrium of Portcullis House. A Tory spokesperson denied suggestions that the trees were brought in to replenish the supply of fig-leaves that David Cameron has been using to cover his blatantly Thatcherite policies. The spokesperson told Newsjack that the trouble began in December 2010; when a particularly persistent group of carol singers refused to be fobbed off with a soggy mince pie in return for the good tidings they brought and instead demanded they be fed figgy pudding. “They quite literally wouldn’t go until they’d got some,” we were told. “The fig fanatics were camped outside for days. You could call them the infignados.” The ‘pudding protests’ rapidly swept the country, with a street vendor in Derbyshire dousing himself in brandy and setting himself alight. “I always knew he was a bit of a fruitcake,” quipped a friend of the young man. “But I’ve never seen him raisin’ hell like that. It must’ve been a candid appeal for help.” Eventually the government caved to popular pressure, bringing in the twelve trees in an attempt to calm the simmering tensions and an emergency baking committee was formed to satisfy the protestors’ demands. David Cameron captured the mood of the nation perfectly, announcing a new plan for the ‘Fig Society.’ A Tory spokesperson denied suggestions that this was simply a fig-leaf for the unpopular ‘Big Society.’ Inspired by the success of the pudding protests, demonstrators in Wall Street began to sing “now bring us some structural reform of the economic system and an end to neoliberal fundamentalism… and bring some out here.” Yet after a series of drawn-out General Assemblies agreed that a delivery of figgy pudding was a more achievable demand and had better scansion. Now the government faces a dilemma: does it scrap the costly trees and risk civil disobedience on a mass scale or maintain them and face the ire of the right-wing press? Joel Sharples

'MILITANT SECULARISM' is taking hold of British society, according to a speech made by Lady Warsi last Tuesday. The Tory party chairman led an official visit to the Pope to celebrate 30 years of full diplomatic relations between the UK and the papacy – during which she called for a more explicit role for Christianity in public life. “My fear is that, today, militant secularisation is taking hold of our societies,” she said. “We see it in a number of things: when signs of religion cannot be displayed or worn in government buildings, and where religion is side-lined and downgraded in the public sphere.” We should not for one minute entertain the idea of Christian victimhood in this country, especially when it is based on myths of busy-body secularists banning Christmas or the wearing of crucifixes. There are huge privileges accorded to Christianity in the UK. Broadcasters are legally required to reserve slots for religious programming. The only other state that places clerics in parliament as-of-right, as the UK does in the House of Lords (which, incidentally, is already overrepresented by white, heterosexual men) is the Islamic Republic of Iran – and most would agree that that is not a model Britain should follow. Religious institutions are uniquely afforded the right to discriminate against people on the grounds of sexual orientation in a way that gay people - for example B&B owners - are not allowed to turn away people on the basis of faith. Only religious schools, with staff paid 100 per cent by the state, are allowed to discriminate against non-religious or ‘other-religious’ pupils and staff. As far secularists are concerned, it is entirely the right of religions to decide who they do or do not wish to welcome into their faith. But the state should not

CATHOLIC CHUrCH (ENGLAND AND

Davie Heaton warns against portraying religion as a victim to a secular state

INTOLERANT: Warsi is trying to brand Britain's tolerance as exactly the opposite grant charitable dispensation to or overamplify the voices of organisations with principles that run counter to the image of meritocracy and equal opportunity that Britain aspires to.

A secular society is not based on atheism, but on guaranteeing the freedom to express religious - and nonreligious - beliefs." Lady Warsi continued, “For me one of the most worrying aspects about this militant secularisation is that at its core and in its instincts it is deeply intolerant. “It demonstrates similar traits to totalitarian regimes – denying people the right to a religious identity because they were frightened of the concept of mul-

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tiple identities.” As a British Muslim of Pakistani origin, Lady Warsi should know better than most that a liberal secular democracy is actually the best protector of religious freedom. A secular society is not based on atheism, but on guaranteeing the freedom to express religious – and nonreligious – beliefs in a way that does not interfere with the rights or opinions of others. Key to this is ending the institutionalised religious privilege of one religion over another and to separate the church from the state. There is no theocracy that has ever tolerated “multiple identities," competing religious views or the emancipation of women or gay people. In fact, history shows us that where organised religion has a central role in public policy, it reigns tyrannically – take the Taliban in Afghanistan or the current administration in Iran – and that it is only when religion is forced to take a back seat that it becomes friendly and concessive. It is welcome that in this

country many believers cherish the positive ethical guidance provided by their scriptures but choose to discard the less savoury ‘burn-‘em-at-the-stake’ bits. But it is only the liberal secular democracy in which we now live that allows people to express individual, nuanced interpretations of their faith – those born 400 years ago were not afforded that luxury. So on what grounds does Lady Warsi label secularism as "militant?" No war has ever been waged; no violence ever incited in the name of secularism. Such rhetoric is designed to paint those who wish to restrict or eliminate the role of the church in public policy as extreme, when all they ask for is that faiths are recognised for what they really are: self-constituted interest groups who have every right to put forward their point of view, but are no more deserving of four-hours of BBC broadcasting, faith-based schools or seats in parliament than trade unions or political parties. And nobody would tolerate that.

Joe Pilkington urges the British Government to let Scotland lower the voting age LONDON, PARIS, Rome, Athens, Washington DC. When asked to identify the iconic capitals of democracy, these appear to be rational choices. There is a problem, however. If electoral policy is examined, there is a faction - a Traveling Wilburys supergroup of democratic safe houses - that go beyond the democratic ideals that these great cities advocate. They put London, Paris et al to shame. Inclusiveness, anti-hypocrisy and equality run deeper in their electoral systems. These cities evoke many problems with their wider political system, yet they can stand proudly as capitals of the most electorally-inclusive nations in the world. Who are these electoral beacons? Try Managua, Brasilia and Douglas. Visit Quito or Vienna. Bask in the democratic might of Saint Peter Port and Saint Helier. It’s a small club, with just over 3 per cent of the world’s population. A guild for titans of electoral liberty. And Edinburgh could be on the verge of joining this exclusive society. What are the conditions for entry? What price must a nation pay to elevate itself out of the hypocrisy of modern electoral politics? It’s rather modest really. It is to extend suffrage to those who

are free to join a nation’s army. To allow those who can marry to vote. To provide true representation in alignment with taxation. The United Kingdom, the United States and France, the democratic pillars of the United Nations permanent Security Council members, cannot even guarantee this. Only in the likes of the Isle of Man and Guernsey; in the favelas of Sau Paulo and Rio de Janeiro; and amidst the architectural splendour of the former Habsburg Empire, can a 16 or 17 year old citizen project their voice in electoral politics. The American historian Joan Scott argued that, “democracy requires the freedom to critique and it needs critical impulses.” If a nation’s 16 and 17 year-old populace are deemed fit for military service in the defence of the nation and fit to marry in the hope of prolonging a social structure for the benefit of the nation’s longevity and prosperity, then surely these citizens are as able to provide critical impulses as their older peers. If we are to starve our young citizens of the democratic equality we enjoy, how can we ask them to wade into the world of violence and slaughter that is modern warfare? Or make them pay taxes on the income they derive from such duties and not be

considered democratic hypocrites or elitists by withholding the right for them to choose the government that wages such wars?

Find me ten young citizens whose attitude to voting is irresponsible and i will find you as many adults, if not more." The Scottish government is keen to allow 16 and 17 year olds to vote in the forthcoming independence referendum and Westminster is resisting virulently. This writer is a firm believer in the net benefits in economic prosperity, international clout, higher education prowess and natural resources that both Scotland and England enjoy as a product of our Union. However, I am also a resident of the Isle of Man and have experienced the reduction of the voting age to 16 there in 2006. As such, I am firmly of the view that by resisting such a move, the Unionist cause is only serving to weaken itself. Such a move smacks of contempt for

the intellectual capacity of young adults, who are eligible to pay as much tax as the Treasury deems fit for the entire populace. To be given the vote at 17 was something that dealt me a great sense of responsibility. To argue that young people are unable to make the rational choices at the voting booth that adults apparently do is ignorant of our modern society. Find me ten young citizens whose attitude to voting is irresponsible and I will find you as many adults, if not more. Find me 10 young people who are ill-informed of the issues and personalities of an election and I will find many more rolling out of the pub at 11pm, having over-indulged in drinks unavailable to prospective young voters, yet who are free to vote come election day. Unlike alcohol, voting is not a narcotic. It is not something that will be abused for a kick, as Downing Street appears to believe it will be. In my own experience, the idea of going to the polling station was of no interest to many and therefore harmed no one. It merely allowed those young citizens interested in making a difference to voice their opinions. In 2012, why does the government of the United Kingdom seek to undermine its own reputation as a bastion of political liberty? For Unionists such a myself, it is frankly embarrassing.


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Tuesday February 21 2012 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Comment 9

Bigoted banter

HARMLESS?: Britain's 'Lad culture' promotes misogyny and belittles serious issues Die hard ‘UniLads’ everywhere were probably mourning the temporary shutdown of the self-proclaimed, “Number one student lad’s magazine and guide to getting laid” after the lads behind the site decided the ‘banter’ had crossed the line. The site was forced to close amidst controversy over an article that seemed to condone rape. The article in question, titled "Sexual Mathematics" stated,

“If the girl you’ve taken for a drink... won’t ‘spread for your head,’ think about this mathematical statistic: 85% of rape cases go unreported… That seems to be fairly good odds.” The writer then added this little gem at the bottom of the piece, “UniLad does not condone rape without saying ‘surprise.’” Needless to say, there were a multitude of angry responses to

these ridiculous statements from the Twitter community, most of which highlighted the deeply ingrained misogyny in this type of humour and in ‘lad culture’ as a whole. It seems to be the trend amongst a certain subset of men, proudly self-titled ‘lads,’ to make what are undoubtedly, to almost everyone except themselves, offensive jokes- usually at the expense of women. A common defence of

FliCKr: UPsU

Daniel Scott Lintott discusses the implications the banned Unilad has on our society such humour is to assert eloquently, “Chill out mate, its only banter," which is the cry of many ‘lad apologists.’ Much of this banter is supposedly just a joke and not intended to be taken seriously at all. For some, making obviously offensive jokes is a joke in itself, as the use of such vile humour can be seen to lampoon the people who genuinely say such degrading things. However, it is unclear how much of a justification this convoluted ‘post-lad irony’ really is. In the case of UniLad, the publication of jokes that clearly demean and belittle the genuinely horrifying experiences some women have had, particularly in a public sphere like the internet, is very short sighted. To not even consider that someone who has actually been raped might read this article is at the least self-centred and inconsiderate. Even if you leave out the overall effect the article has on attitudes towards gender, it still probably should never have been published. It is one thing to say it is banter from a white male perspective, but it is pure ignorance to not consider any other point of view. A key issue here is the nature of censorship and freedom of speech. Free speech is often used to excess as a trump-all card that means people can essentially say whatever they want. But no one would condone pure freedom of speech. When you think about what total freedom means, it would allow any number of things that we consider to be plainly wrong, such as racial hatred or allowing someone to tell

everyone it is okay to murder people. Surely no one wants that. The issue then is where to draw the line, which the lovely gents at UniLad may be struggling with. Aside from what was actually said, the reason the site has been temporarily shut down was due to poor editorial policy. It’s not about limiting people’s right to say what they like, but to consider others when thinking about where the line should be drawn. There is a serious argument to be made that such banter and attitudes towards women and rape show an underlying intense misogyny. However, the fact that there was such an uproar over the article shows that everyone knows what a sensitive subject rape is. In a sense, the joke was made purely to offend and to probe the boundaries of taboo, which one might say it did quite effectively. It is hard to say if jokes and male banter do have serious ramifications. According to a study by the National Union of Students, one in seven survey respondents had experienced serious physical or sexual assault during their time as a student. This subject is definitely one to be taken seriously, but it seems hard to believe that a few bad taste jokes made by some immature university students represents a whole culture of misogyny or could actually encourage people to think that rape is okay. If so we have to be dealing with a subset of ignorant, unfeeling, lower order primates. A possibility I’m not necessarily ruling out.


Tuesday February 21 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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Volunteering an ear IT IS hard enough being a human being, let alone being a student, let alone a student in Edinburgh. Some enjoy the student lifestyle and some can’t wait to leave it all behind them. For most, though, it is probably a mixture of the two. Although all students face their share of problems, Edinburgh has its own unique batch of them. Students here may suffer from anxiety about issues from the small to the large, ranging from 9 o’clock lectures at King’s Buildings to sexual assault in the Meadows and anything in between. For this reason, the Edinburgh Nightline service is available every night of term-time. Between 8pm and 8am, students can call the number on the back of their matriculation card and talk to a trained volunteer, who is also a student in Edinburgh, for as long as they need to. Alternatively, they can log in and chat via the e-listening service available on the website. Callers may have a clearly defined “problem” such as unplanned pregnancy, a mental health disorder or bereavement. On the other hand, they may just need some information, such as a taxi number or an exam time. But plenty of callers fall into that large hazy category of in-between people with normal lives who feel down sometimes, who don’t need to seek professional help, but want someone to talk to who is there exclusively for them.

Nightline can be invaluable, offering a chance to talk things over with someone not in a position of authority, yet who won't shy away or change the subject, who won't judge or belittle the problem." The service is offered on the basis of five fundamental principles. It is confidential: nothing will be passed on to a third party. It is anonymous: neither party will be able to identify the other. It is non-judgemental: it has no religious or political affiliation and labels; concepts like right and wrong are avoided, in recognition of the fact that one person cannot fully understand what it is like to be another. It is non-directive: the caller decides the direction of the conversation and talks about whatever they want. It is non-advisory: solutions and advice are not offered, just information and an empathetic ear. The service is offered throughout the night, a time when people often feel at their most vulnerable and lonely, when problems seem most overwhelm-

GIVE THEM A CALL: No matter what the problem is, Nightline believes that anyone can benefit from getting in touch ing and insurmountable. Some callers may have no one else to talk to; others may not wish to worry or importune their friends and family. Nightline can give these callers the support they need to get through the night. Even those on a year abroad or work placement can use the service. Despite what certain cultural stereotypes would have us believe, there is as much variety among students as in the general population. The person who sits next to you in lectures may well live in an untidy flat, enjoy dancing more than studying and eat pasta quite often. However, they may alternatively live with octogenarians, love rolling cheese down hillsides and eat only orange smarties. The point is, you just can’t assume. Not only is it unfair, it can be dangerous because it ultimately makes all of us feel isolated. Feeling that everyone around them is living the high life, it is common for students not to talk about their worries. Joking, bitching and moaning are everywhere, but confronting the realities of the world can be easy to avoid. We will hear the opinion that we are free of financial, family, health or time burdens, so what do we have to moan about? The flipside is that, when hardships do arise, we tend to have less life experience, more unpredictable circumstances and more fragile, temporary support networks. The trend of recent years has seen universities massively increasing their intake and accepting students from a wider range of backgrounds than ever before. However, there has not been a corresponding expansion of support and welfare services. At the same time,

rising debt and uncertain job prospects have been added to the list of things students have to worry about. A quick look at the statistics highlights the scale of the problem. Students have poorer mental health than people of the same age who are not in full-time education. 20 per cent of UK undergraduates reported anxiety symptoms and 35 per cent feelings of sadness and depression. 7 per cent believed these adversely affected their studies. First-years can find things particularly difficult, with 60 per cent reporting homesickness. First-years are at the highest risk of developing anxiety, depression (including suicidal feelings) and alcohol and drug abuse problems. A first-year who reports a sense of loneliness, or a lack of anyone to confide in, is more likely to develop these problems. A study at Oxford University reported 10 per cent of female students suffer from an eating disorder. Meanwhile, suicide is the second largest cause of death, after accidents, in 1524-year-old males. The UK also has a particularly serious problem with self-harm in young people – 1 in 10 have self-harmed, which is one of the highest rates in Europe. Alongside these worrying figures, there is evidence that students dislike the stigma surrounding mental illness and for this reason are reluctant to seek help from a GP or an on-campus counselling service. Research has shown that students prefer anonymous advice from a less formal source. For this reason Nightline can be invaluable, offering a chance to talk things over with someone not in a position of au-

thority, who won’t shy away or change the subject, who won’t judge or belittle the problem, who won’t make jokes or tell anyone else. Based on the same principles as the Samaritans, the service was founded in 1973 at the University of Essex in an attempt to reduce the number of student suicides. Research has shown that students tend to confide in their peers and this has been found to be effective in preventing mental health problems. Yet students perform poorly at recognising the presence and severity of psychological symptoms in others, according to the Royal College of Psychiatrists. Nightline volunteers are students and local ones at that, with much in common with their callers. Yet, they are also fully trained to deal with whatever kind of problem a caller may raise. After forty years in existence, Nightline is prepared for any kind of call.

no issue is too small to discuss there is no rule about what qualifies as a worthy problem - after all, there are as many problems as there are students." The service operates on a method called ‘active listening’, also employed by the Samaritans. It involves encouraging openness and helping the speaker to clarify and explore

ClOCKWise: WEEDJ, niGHTline , CleMsOn UniversiTY liBrAr-

Nightline's open policy helps to alleviate the stigma underlying mental health, writes Melissa Geere

their feelings, without guiding them in a particular direction. One Samaritan user spoke about the experience, saying, “after a short time of talking, I felt guilty for using the helpline, but the voice always reassured me that it was OK. Some time passed and after talking, being listened to and reassured, I felt calmer...I never called for all the answers, I called because I was alone, nothing and no one. But by the end of the call, I was someone.” It is not a big deal to phone or chat to Nightline and even the most welladjusted student can benefit from it. Getting in contact is not an admission of failure. Being unsure of what to say or how to articulate problems is natural. Nightline won’t run out of patience, jump to conclusions or interrupt: it’s a space for people to work out the nature of their own feelings. No issue is too small to discuss – there is no rule about what qualifies as a worthy problem – after all, there are as many problems as there are students. What’s more, problems aren’t just isolated incidents, they are usually a tangled web of interrelated factors which can be difficult to pick apart alone. As well as listening, Nightline can provide useful information. Anyone unsure of how the service works can try phoning up or logging in just for information the first time – they can tell you anything, from the nearest GUM clinic to the nutritional content of gummy bears. Nightline is someone who will lend an ear for as long as necessary. And it is not just there for extreme cases, it is a service that is there for and which can be of use to every Edinburgh student.


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Tuesday February 21 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Features 11

GaGa for radio

Geraint Ellis discusses the ever developing nature of Britain's 'old' media THERE'S LITTLE doubt that we British have a distinct fascination with our radios. Quite understandably too, radio is as ubiquitous a presence in British history as drinking tea is to the national diet. The image of the humble, home-spun family gathered round the wireless, darkly listening to the declaration of war and then celebrating around the same wireless with party hats offkilter at the end of it all. The shared memories of a nation of young rebels who, clutching their portable radios, carefully span the dials to tune into the Pirate broadcasts of the sixties. It would seem that there are many open threats to radio's importance; we live in a multi-media ruled society in which it would sometimes seem extremely 'patient' to take the time and listen to the daily broadcast when we can so easily google what we need to know. Today still, however, each Briton is part of a country which listens to over one billion hours of radio broadcasting. Ninety percent of us are listening.

inspire, inform, persuade and improve. Radio’s great asset is its diversity. For music, there is no greater platform. Music can be personally thrilling, but when shared it becomes something far more monumental. The act of devoting time to discovering an unforgettable new sound and rediscovering forgotten records is only further enhanced by communicating and sharing your feelings about music. More importantly, it doesn’t demand attention or crave focus.

in short, radio possesses the qualities to make it universally appreciated. it can entertain, educate, inspire, inform, persuade and improve. radio's great asset is its diversity."

So, the radio remains an important presence in British life and, with the release of the Quarterly Report on the listening practices of the United Kingdom by the Radio Joint Audience Research (RAJAR), its continual presence is statistically confirmed. Read any one of the thousands of articles attempting to analyse this success and we arrive at the same conclusion: Radio is quite simply growing. The February RAJAR figures indicate that on average we individually listened to just over twenty-two hours of radio in the final quarter of 2011. More dramatically, 29.1 percent of us now listen on other platforms, either internet, digital or DAB. Therefore the question of why radio continues to thrive against the challenge of modernity, where information, music and entertainment are instantaneously accessible on any number of devices, is demonstrably clear; radio, too, is modernising and in doing so is connecting to the vast new audience of the technologically aware.

THE BOAT THAT ROCKED: Love of radio permeates all aspects of Britain's popular culture

Take for instance the 15.1 percent of persons over the age of fifteen listening to the radio via mobile phone. In itself, this suggests significant proportions are embracing the new approaches of radio. Yet crucially this statistic, as with all others in the RAJAR report, only considers the listening practices of those over a certain age. What was your first experience with the radio? Perhaps you too were dancing around the kitchen as a toddler to the sounds of John Peel, or forced to enjoy the foreign tongues of Radio Cymru on childhood visits to Welsh grandparents. It is evident RAJAR is evolving its own research to meet the demands of a changing radio network, but there is a real need to consider the practices of an ever-increasing young audience who go unobserved. More than ever, station programming is going against the archaic myth that the radio is a platform for Queen’s English news broadcasting, parliamentary debates and classical music. The youth is the new focus, with BBC Radio 1 controller Ben Cooper making the very public warning that his station must begin to formulate radio for the iPad and the smartphone, or risk the death of young radio in the time of “about a generation”. Industry rhetoric is backed by statistical evidence; for the first time the drum and bass and black music pioneers of BBC 1Xtra recorded audiences of over one million. Youth-

oriented Capital FM saw its glossy and superstar-studded advertising rewarded with its biggest audience in eight years. The plethora of thriving student radio stations exemplifies a thirst for radio that meets the needs of the young British audience. For every one of Terry Wogan’s beloved T.O.G’s (Terry’s Old Geezers and Gals), there is a young person demanding innovation and excitement, with stations that answer their demands on the formats they use. If the RAJAR statistics confirm anything, they show radio must continue to evolve to engage a whole new species of listener.

Yet for all the talk of youth which has erupted from the February statistics, it would be incredulous to ignore the quite spectacular success of virtually all radio stations. radio is ageless." Yet, for all the talk of youth which has erupted from the February statistics, it would be incredulous to ignore the quite spectacular success

of virtually all radio stations. Radio is ageless. Perhaps promoted by the anxieties of austerity, BBC Radio 4’s Today programme with John Humphries has seen listening figures swell to 7.15 million, a fraction behind Chris Moyles, breakfast host of the chartconscious BBC Radio 1 entertainment factory. Radio 2 continues to be the most popular British station by some distance, explicitly intended for the mature and middle-aged. The participation in every student radio station pales in comparison to the fervour for defending local BBC stations from abandonment proposals. Furthermore, this trend extends far beyond the BBC. Commercial stations are preferred by 42.4 percent of total listeners, and primarily target the adult audience; as a rule, the likes of the dulcet and divine Classic FM, the soulful Smooth FM and specialist Jazz FM attract the older listener. TalkSport even threatens to break the BBC monopoly of sports commentary with record audience figures who actively participate in debates and discussions focusing on far more than the realms of sport: politics, religion, culture and media are all frequently on the agenda. RAJAR statistics therefore clearly reveal radio is accessed by all, irrespective of age, identity or musical preference. To what can we contribute this success? In short, Radio possesses the qualities to make it universally appreciated. It can entertain, educate,

SINEMABED

radio is as ubiquitous a presence in British history as drinking tea is to the national diet. The image of the humble, home-spun family, gathered around the wireless, darkly listening to the declaration of war and then celebrating around the same wireless, party hats off-kilter, at the end of it all."

If anything, the records on the radio sound better as they envelop your bedroom, bathroom, or kitchen: the wallpaper backdrop to any conversation or any creative environment. Indeed, many of us feel comforted by the continuous, familiar noise of the radio. Every genre is generously covered, always without condescending insult or unnecessary interruption, but with genuine appreciation and love. Yet radio consists of so much more than music. Challenging political debates, concise and clear news reports, harrowing and heartbreaking documentaries and dramas, farcical comedies alongside razor-sharp satire, passionate sports discussion, science queries, theatre reviews, historical narratives, gaming, rambling, gardening, lunar exploration and foreign language, radio encapsulates virtually every enthusiasm, whim and fancy of every person. It is a universal broadcaster. The RAJAR Quarterly Report presents us with an unrivalled insight into the listening preferences of Britain and goes some way towards explaining the persistent popularity of radio. Yet we should perhaps also consider the more poignant findings of the UNESCO World Radio Day, celebrated on February 13th. Despite the captivation of the industry and the media with new forms of listening, 65 percent of the world’s seven billion people have no access to the internet. For them, radio is a platform by which to achieve a voice, to avoid marginalisation and to avoid being forgotten. Nowhere more recently has this been more explicitly proven than during the BBC World Service’s ‘The Bombardment of Homs’, a report on the conflict in Syria. It highlights exactly why the British have a fascination with radio that has transcended time; it continues to inform, to educate, to appal, and to inspire us to unite.


Tuesday February 21 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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Is there life underneath the ice?

LISA LANGE

12 Science & Environment

Professor Brian Cox and his television programs will have heard the names Europa and Enceladus, frozen moons which orbit Jupiter and Saturn respectively. Conditions under their surfaces may not be that different from these Antarctic lakes.

in the deep waters of lake vostok, which have been in isolation for millions of years, scientists are hoping to find microbial life-forms that are new to science" “There is no other place on Earth that has been in isolation for more than 20 million years,” said Lev Savatugin, a researcher with the AARI. “We need to see what we have here before we send missions to ice-crusted moons.” This breakthrough has the potential to advance our understanding of the extremes life can survive in, but it did not come easily. The project has taken years of planning and the work is being carried out in one of the most inhospitable places on earth. On July 21 1983, a temperature of -89C was recorded here, the lowest temperature ever recorded on the planet. Aside from the Antarctic weather, there have been concerns about contaminating the lake. The drilling process used by the Vostok team requires tons of kerosene and CFCs as lubricants and anti-freeze. It was

feared that upon reaching the water surface these could enter the pristine lake. However, Lukin has said that the liquids surged up the borehole shaft when the drill reached the lakeevidence that lake water streamed up the hole, due to the change in pressure, froze and blocked the opening. Despite this, there are still worries that the Vostok team could contaminate the lake. Professor Martin Siegert, professor of Geosciences at the University of Edinburgh and a leading scientist for the British Antarctic Survey, commented that ice-coring “doesn’t really work as a viable technique to do long-term, clean access and exploration of sub-glacial lake environments because of the issues with cleanliness and sterility.” Siegert is part of a team trying to reach another sub-glacial Antarctic lake, Lake Ellsworth. They will use a different drilling technique – pressurised water at 90C. There is one downside of this method; as soon as drilling stops the hole will freeze over. However this should mean the potential for contamination is minimal at most. As Siegert pointed out, “Once you’re finished it’s like you were never there; your footprint on the environment is low.” He has also noted the “milestone” and the “achievement” this is for the Russian scientists. The team will extract the lake water which froze in the borehole and analyse it for evidence of life. They are also planning on using a submersible robot, which will be equipped with video cameras, to further study the potential for alien life, amongst other research, under the Antarctic ice.

A LONG WAY DOWN: One of Antarctica's crumbling glaciers

rITA WILLAErT

AFTER MORE than 20 years of drilling, Vostok has been breached. Its existence was first speculated during Soviet Antarctic expeditions in the late 50s and early 60s and confirmed in 1993 by a team of British and Russian scientists. A little over a week ago Valery Lukin, head of Russia’s Arctic and Antarctic Research Institute (AARI), said his team had hit water. Vostok is a lake lying 4,000m below the surface of the central East Antarctic Ice Sheet. At 250km long, 50km wide and 800m deep, it is the largest of around 400 known subglacial lakes in Antarctica. To try and put it into perspective, Lake Vostok roughly covers the same area as Lake Ontario, but contains three times its volume. The sub-glacial lakes are kept liquid by the enormous pressure applied by the collective weight of thousands of metres of ice, which allows liquid water to exist below its normal freezing point. It is believed that some of these lakes are partially connected by sub-glacial rivers. In the deep waters of Lake Vostok, which have been in isolation for millions of years, scientists are hoping to find microbial life-forms that are new to science. “This will give us the possibility to biologically evaluate the evolution of living organisms... because those organisms spent a long time without contact with the atmosphere, without sunlight,” Valery Lukin said. Success in this will help in the search for life far from planet earth. Liquid water is thought to exist under the surfaces of the ice-covered moons in our solar systems. Fans of

ANATOMICAL MUSEUM

Kieran Tierney discusses the discovery of the legendary lake Vostok under the Antarctic ice

Finding the Fragile X

Maithili Mehta explains Fragile X Syndrome and its current research at the University of Edinburgh

THE FRAGILE X Syndrome (FXS), known as the Martin-Bell Syndrome, is the most common form of inherited learning disability. It is so called because persons afflicted have a faulty X chromosome. The human brain is composed of nerve cells or “neurones;” a hundred billion of them pulsing and firing, while we watch television, listen to music or even while we sleep. These neurones communicate with each other at specialised junctions called “synapses,” forming an extensive network through which information can be relayed – almost like our brain’s very own Facebook. The impulses carried by neurones themselves are electrical in nature. However, when crossing from one neurone to another across a synapsemolecules of neurotransmitter are

released, cross the gap and fire up an electrical impulse in the next neurone. Such chemicals that ‘excite’ the next neurone in the circuit, i.e. cause it to fire and impulse, are called “excitatory” neurotransmitters. Although the type of transmitter used at a synapse remains the same, the strength of synaptic connections is constantly being modified throughout our lives. In fact, altering synaptic strength has been hypothesised to be our mechanism for creating and storing memories, which in turn influence learning and behaviour. The establishment of synaptic connectivity and varying of synaptic strength is a precise process and errors in this process often lead to mental disabilities. Glutamate is the main “excitatory” neurotransmitter in the brain and one of the protagonists in our account of

the Fragile X syndrome. FMRP, the protein that scientists have linked with Fragile X, is one of the many proteins assembled at the second neurone that regulates protein production. However, people with Fragile X Syndrome lack FMRP. Without FMRP, the effects of glutamate signalling are essentially imbalanced. This alters the strength of synaptic connectivity in the long run, resulting in learning disability and the physical and behavioural characteristics we term as Fragile X. These include, but are not limited to: developmental delay and childhood epileptic fits and seizures. The main symptom appears to be intellectual impairment-this can range from a minor effect, wherein the person continues to have a perfectly normal IQ, to severe learning difficulties. It

is also associated with emotional and behavioural problems like attention deficit disorder, hyperactivity and mood swings. Fragile X syndrome is now a documented cause of autism. FXS affects about one in 3,600 males and one in 6,000 females in the UK. It is more common in males because males have only one X chromosome, which allows the defect to become apparent; females, on the other hand, have two X chromosomes, and so a faulty X chromosome can be masked by a normal one. The condition, even when present, can be notoriously evasive. The principal culprit is a mutation on a gene on the X chromosome that encodes FMRP. In the case of severe mutation, no FMRP is produced, which leads to the defects discussed above. Mild mutations yield minimal effect, thus

it is hard to tell whether a child with such a mutation suffers from Fragile X without a DNA test. In 2010, The University of Edinburgh established the Patrick Wilde Centre, an institution dedicated to investigating the neurological basis of, and testing therapies for Fragile X, autism and intellectual disabilities. Several research papers published since suggest that the effects of Fragile X can be alleviated by using chemicals that dampen glutamate signalling, such as MPEP. MPEP has been successful in studies with mice and drosophila flies. However, its effects are short lasting because it has a lifespan of only about 15 minutes in vivo. This is enough to counter some, but not all of the phenotypes of FXS. Studies to find a more effective drug are underway.


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Tuesday February 21 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Science & Environment 13

New kids (back) on the block Huw Richards asks whether we should welcome captive-bred animals back into the wild

ATTENBOROUGH'S REALITY TV

SCOTTISH BIG CAT: These beauties could be prowling the Scottish Highlands some time soon Here the wolves were a tool for conservation, as they were much more capable of enacting this change than any organisation ever could. This has led some to suggest that we should introduce some species to remove other unwanted, invasive species. For instance, it has been suggested that African elephants should be released into Australia to rid it of elephant grass, which none of its native herbivores can tackle. This suggestion is a provocative one, as elephants are not native to Australia, yet could provide a solution. It may be advantageous to harbour ‘reserve’ populations of these endangered animals and removing them from Africa could reduce the conflict elephants have with farmers. This does not seem to be a fully workable solution, but it is an interesting thought to use these animals as tools for conservation. Yet the problem with reintroductions is that there are always unforeseen events and consequences. The reintroduction

of wolves to Yellowstone caused a severe drop in the coyote population, which in the absence of the wolf had become the park’s ‘top dog’. This was due to the coyote’s natural behaviour of scavenging from other kills, but as they hadn’t encountered wolves before, they had to learn to not approach their kills too closely. Thus the introduction of elephants to a novel habitat could have severe consequences as there is no guarantee that the elephants would eat the plants the conservationists want, as well as other unforeseeable outcomes. The problem too is that for some reintroductions, these animals became extinct in the wild thousands of years ago and so the ecosystem may have changed away from them, or they may have changed away from the ecosystem. This is the problem found in the grasslands of Montana where wild horses are eroding the soil, reducing the grass cover. A solution has been suggested, noting that in Africa relatives of these wild horses and the

predators that ate them still exist: zebras and lions. But could this possibly be seen as a solution since this American ancestor of the lion died out over 10,000 years ago? There are many ecosystems being degraded due to the loss of their top predators, resulting in the increase in herbivory (highlands of Scotland and Red Deer being an obvious example.) Much money is spent trying to conserve these areas by culling the herbivores; surely a much easier and cost effective way would be to bring back these predators so as to bring the herbivore population down to a ‘natural’ level. This would be ideal as this is a selfregulating system, so if the herbivore levels drop too low, predator numbers fall; when predator numbers fall, herbivore numbers increase and so on with both fluctuating around a stable population number. The reintroduction of lynx to Scotland could provide the same rejuvenation that wolves bought to Yellowstone, but are we willing to accept them back?

Sun, sand and radioactivity Sam Brear explains the plight of Dalgety Bay residents with radioactivity in their back gardens LOCATED ON the North shore of the Firth of Forth, just 8.5 miles from Edinburgh’s city centre, lays repeated winner of “Scotland’s Best Kept Small Town Award,” Dalgety Bay. Primarily known as a suburb of Edinburgh, Dalgety Bay’s scenery and small-town feel have seen it become increasingly popular with holiday makers. However, if you go down to the beach in the bay, you’re in for a big surprise. Since 1990, radioactive sources have been discovered on the beach increasingly frequently and in increasingly larger quantities, with the radiation believed to originate from the radium coated dials of military aircraft based at the Donibristle airbase. Following WWII, the aircraft were incinerated, but now it seems their carcasses are rising from the depths and being washed along the coast to haunt Dalgety bay’s residents, politicians and holiday makers alike. Leading the investigation within the bay has been the Scottish Environmental Protection Agency (SEPA). Up to 2006, over 600 radioactive particles had been found, with the most radioactive of these particles giving a reading of 1.2MegaBq (Mega Becquerels). Despite this sounding a bit scary, in reality SEPA’s own 2006 risk assessment

states that as long as you don’t eat vast quantities of the particles, you’ll basically have to spend the night naked and in close contact with them, before they’ll have any long lasting effects.

radioactive sources have been discovered on the beach increasingly frequently." Although the risk was not that great, the problem still required a solution and in this ever increasing culture of blame, liability had to be assigned. Up steps the Ministry of Defence (MoD). Having been responsible for the aircraft, the airbase, and the aircrafts’ incineration, the MoD found itself in somewhat of a tricky situation. Demands in 2009 from the residents for the MoD to clear and decontaminate the site within one year prompted the MoD to work alongside SEPA to resolve the issue. However, over two years on from this date, the issue is still not resolved and the contamination has worsened.

Following continued monitoring of the site by SEPA, in November last year it emerged that three more radioactive clusters had been found including one measuring 76 MegaBq, the highest reading ever found on the stretch of Fife coastline. Radiation of this strength is acknowledged to be harmful enough to cause serious skin burns or, if ingested, have long-term health consequences and this has proved to be a game changer with both residents and SEPA. Scotland’s environmental watchdog has given the MoD until the end of February to devise a plan to make the beach safe. SEPA said that if the deadline was not met, the beach at Dalgety Bay would be declared “Radioactive Contaminated Land.” It is understood this would be the first time this has happened in the UK, as an area of high radioactivity is only legally declared as contaminated if there is not a suitable action plan in place to deal with the problem. Environment Secretary Richard Lochhead said: “It is deeply disappointing that this situation has arisen as a result of inaction from the Ministry of Defence. “I have urged the MoD on a number of occasions to take immediate action and come forward with credible plans to inves-

FliCKr lUvi

ANIMAL REINTRODUCTIONS are happening across the world, reestablishing a species in an area where it has since become extinct. However, serious questions arise from this practice, asking whether this is a good idea or if we are simply playing around with nature – can these species still be looked at as ‘native’? Often these reintroductions involve top predators because many people feared them as they presented a threat to both their lives and their livelihood (often agriculture). As such many were hunted, poisoned or trapped to extinction. This was widely practiced and actively encouraged in some places, such as in America where congress provided funds for “destroying wolves, prairie dogs, and other animals injurious to agriculture and animal husbandry.” However, these animals play an integral part in the ecosystem by controlling the herbivore population levels, which in turn regulates the producer level (plants) of the trophic pyramid. This is termed top-down control as the control is regulated from the predators down the pyramid. Without this top down control the herbivore population grows above a sustainable level, which can cause the ecosystem to fall apart. This was seen in Yellowstone after the native wolves had been wiped out. The elk population began to climb uncontrollably and was causing the death of the park’s forests by stopping any new recruitment of individuals to the next generation. The reintroduction of wolves had a dramatic effect by cutting down this elk population, whilst also making it fitter as the wolves tended to take the sick and the old. This rejuvenated the park as willow and aspen saplings started taking hold and the forests began to recover. A knock on effect was seen as this rejuvenation allowed the recovery of the beaver, an animal once hunted for its fur, allowing the ecosystem as a whole to become more diverse.

tigate the source of the contamination at Dalgety Bay. “I would have expected the level of radioactivity to have impelled those responsible to do the right thing for the people of Dalgety Bay and clean up this mess.” A key problem lies in the MoD’s refusal to accept liability. Last week, UK Defence Minister Andrew Robathan visited Dalgety Bay and handed over a draft plan of action to SEPA. He declined, however, to accept liability for the pollution. “Who knows who’s liable?” he said. Local Constituency MP, a certain Mr G. Brown, has called for urgent action to be taken to tackle the problem, but has received criticism from residents nonetheless for failing to resolve the issue whilst in the position as prime minister. Wherever the responsibility lies, in the meantime it is the residents of Dalgety Bay that suffer. Residents questioned were found to be worried not only for their health, but equally for their wealth. Tourism and house values have already taken a hit due to the contamination, but should SEPA follow up on its threat and declare Dalgety Bay the UK’s first “Radioactive Contaminated Land,” the problem will surely be confounded with the residents once more taking the brunt of the damage.

How many episodes of Frozen Planet have you watched? Probably more than me. As a Zoology student most people find it difficult to believe that I’m not addicted to the sound of David Attenborough’s voice and did not spend last semester enchanted by his latest venture, the polar expedition. It is not that I can’t appreciate the beauty of the arctic wilderness, but I think documentaries detach nature from real life for their viewers. By seeing these breathtaking views through your television screen, nature becomes this unattainable world that you associate with the same reality that shows you Doctor Who, Vampire Diaries and Made in Chelsea. Most people will never see sights like those that Attenborough opens up to us, but most people don’t venture into the gems British wildlife has to show us either and these glossy programs set such a high ideal for the natural world they find the real thing cannot compete. This I think is a huge shame. In Edinburgh we are one train-stop away from the Scottish Highlands, but who is going to brave the icy winds and rain this time of year to witness rugged scenery first hand when Attenborough has a huge array of beautiful landscapes to show you without you needing to leave the flat? We are losing touch with the life in our backyard. The spectacular wildlife displays in these programs dims the magic of our own birds and insects. Our view of the natural world is changed and we adopt unrealistic opinions of what the ideal of nature’s beauty should be, similar to the way romcoms distort our expectations for relationships to the Hollywood stereotype. We must remember that when watching a documentary you are always seeing what the director wants you see. Polished footage with clips smoothly interlocking together and narration from Attenborough’s rich murmuring voice is only the tip of the iceberg. My opinion is that nature is best appreciated unvarnished, through your own eyes where you can appreciate everything and not be blinkered by the vision of the creators of the documentary. Documentaries are works of art, with Frozen Planet being the best example of the incredibly talented showcase they can become, but discovering the wild treasures yourself is much more rewarding and exciting watching television, trust me.

Nina Seale


Tuesday February 21 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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Oliver ninnis

A game fit for a king

Lewis Dunne gets courted by Crusader Kings 2 Oliver ninnis

CRUSADER KINGS 2

Thom Louis

 IT HAS been eight years since the release of the original Crusader Kings by Paradox. The original Crusader Kings might be described as a court intrigue game, focused on following a dynasty of your choice throughout the Middle Ages and attempting to build them up from a demure Duke to an efficacious Emperor using a combination of court plots and family intrigue, along with the usual violent coups and conquests. After having released a sequel last year to another classic Paradox title, the return to the Crusader Kings series makes sense. Those familiar with Paradox will know that exceedingly complicated games with a strong root in history are their forte and so it’s hardly surprising, that for the dedicated player, Crusader Kings 2 offers a kingly experience. Crusader Kings 2 is not a strategy

Crusader Kings 2 is not a strategy game, at least not in the conventional sense." game, at least not in the conventional sense; you’ll find few big battles or naval engagements. Much like in the original, the majority of your time will be spent dealing with the interstate intrigue and the internal politics of your realm. The focus of the game, however, is very much on your dynasty

GAMersGATe

RELIGION ISN’T something that is usually taken lightly; in fact, scouring this paper may be enough to convince you how seriously people take this stuff. The same facts do not apply in games. Most games have a religious system in place, with its own laws and customs that affect and permeate the worlds that are created without causing an inch of controversy. What is it about gaming religions and divinities that makes them so inoffensive compared to their real counterparts? Often in gaming, the religions offer active benefits to the player, rewarding them for their faith. This can be found in Final Fantasy X, where the entire game is based on a pilgrimage to receive the divine gifts of the game’s deity Yevon. Likewise, in the Elder Scrolls games, where the nine (or more recently eight) deities watch over you, give you blessings and even- at the end of Oblivionget involved. It seems that god worship in games really does work wonders. The old moral of not testing God seems to be thrown out of the window; guess the Devil won that day. The undertones of this are fascinating, if a little concerning. By programming religions that genuinely affect the lives of a game’s characters, actively and not simply through their messages, are gaming companies suggesting the positive effects of religion in general? Probably not, but it is fascinating to consider the connotations. Okay, enough about gods, what about God in games? Trying to avoid the mildly offensive incarnations, such as in the ridiculous adaptation of Dante’s Inferno or the evil performed by the church in the Assassin’s Creed games (whose view on gods and God could fill an article in itself ), there are plenty of examples where God, yes the JudeoChristian-Muslim God, plays the main role. The best so far is definitely Left Behind 3: the Rise of the Antichrist. The God depicted here is not your friendly moral guide, hell no (excuse the pun); this God has the same world changing powers that you find in any other game. It is pertinent to question whether this is just a form evangelical propaganda or simply the way that games work – that we need something divine to bring about the supernatural occurrences found in gaming and to create a world so different to our own.

ParaDOX INTEraCTIVE PC £29.95

EXCITING: This game really is for history buffs. (or family) and to this extent, the game is often more centred on role-playing than strategy. The real objective of the game, depending on which of the myriad dynasties on offer you choose to play as, is either to build up your dynasty or to try and maintain your dynasty's holdings. As with the original, to achieve these ends you have a plethora of options to choose from: varying from military conquest or marrying into more powerful dynasties to internal coups and attempts at secession. The computer enemies don’t go down without a fight and can often be quite merciless. However, the game itself is also ruthlessly complicated; I’ve been a devoted player of most Paradox titles for several years now, but even I felt the need to go through most of the

tutorials before I really had a clue what I was doing. Even then, I felt like I was missing out on half of what was going on. As with all other Paradox games, besides building up your dynasty, there are no real long term objectives for the game other than what you set for yourself. This is good for developing a dynamic experience within the game and getting the player more involved, but at times the scope can feel somewhat overwhelming and you can find yourself at a loss for what to do. Furthermore, Paradox now seems intent on putting greater emphasis on downloadable content. The fact that there exists DLC on release day suggests to my mind that certain things have been intentionally left out of the game. This may be well and good

for evil, uncaring (and rather rubbish) publishers like EA Games and co., but companies like Paradox trade on their name just as much as their games and so it’s strange to see such tactics from an indie developer. Crusader Kings 2 is definitely an extraordinarily fun and rewarding game. Like all Paradox titles, it’s incredibly addictive; what was originally planned as a short game before bed can easily turn into an all night session as you desperately try and put down that plot against your rule. However, the complexity and lack of focus at times will be enough to scare off most casual gamers, as is a problem with all Paradox titles. If you feel you can handle it, however, as far as games go, this one’s definitely not a one knight stand.

Groovy games with high scores Tom Hasler tips his hat to some of his favorite music in video games MUSIC IS one of the most essential elements of a great gaming experience. If you take a music free game like Counter-Strike, you feel practically nothing aside from the cold determination to win. Whereas the games listed below evoke emotional reactions and immerse players in their little worlds simply by playing the right music at the right time. Elder Scrolls Series The Elder Scrolls has some of the most memorable music in video games. Naturally, music for a game on the scope of Elder Scrolls has to cover a wide variety of scenarios and moods. You’ll hear everything from tranquil melody as you walk through a peaceful meadow to a mighty, percussion laden crescendo as you battle a dragon.

Rez HD/Child of Eden Rez and its spiritual successor Child of Eden are as much a sensory experience as a traditional game, bombarding players with an ever-changing cacophony of light and sounds. When players shoot down enemies, the game plays music with notes corresponding to the number of enemies killed in a single combo - in essence the music is reactive to the players actions. Not to mention that the game's visuals and even the vibration of the controller are synced up with the music, making the game the most awesome music visualiser ever. Grand Theft Auto The GTA series doesn’t have much in the way of original music, but what it

does assemble a collection of tunes that captures the cultural essence of the setting brilliantly. Whether it's 80s Miami or modern New York, turning on the radio in a GTA game instantly sucks players further into the game's seedy crime lands. Final Fantasy Final Fantasy has some of the most iconic music in video games. Covering a wide variety of themes and influences across the dozens of games that have been released, Final Fantasy has always set itself apart by striving for emotionally resonant, grand orchestral scores. As a result, it has created music that transcends its origins, with soundtracks and live concerts that are popular in their own right.

The Ledgend of Zelda It’s kind of obvious, but this list simply wouldn’t be complete without mentioning the Zelda series. One of the most memorable aspects of Ocarina of Time was a sheer plethora of melodies, tunes and jingles that inhabit the games plethora of environments. Many Zelda games also feature musical instruments which players can use to affect their environment; in fact, Ocarina of Time was the first non-dance game to feature music as an interactive element. The Zelda series is also one of the first games to feature incidental music that changed based on how active the player was, a feature that is now ubiquitous in modern games.


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Tuesday February 21 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Lifestyle 15 Club night reviews

JOAnnA lisiOveC

Shanghai: Acceptable in the 80s

Long distance love

Hanging on the telephone - Victoria Madden and Lewis Dunne share their distance dating experiences

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ictoria: Sunday afternoons have never my favourite time, but once every two weeks my Sundays come with the added stress of goodbyes, knowing that on Monday morning I will wake up alone. Before I started dating a lovely boy who lives in a different city, I had been well warned about the consequences of long-distance relationships. Friends who experienced them before me always had the same wisdom to impart: when things end, it’s not always because one of you has mistreated the other, it's often simply because things fizzle out. When you do finally see one another after months apart, it's often hard to pick up where you left off. After a year and a half in a longdistance relationship, I can see how that could happen; university is stressful enough without having to worry about someone who is miles away. Having to coordinate when both of you can spare some time to see each other becomes very tricky when essays are just around the corner. When you’re both stressed, everything becomes a bigger deal and before you know it, you’re crying down the phone to someone who can't physically come to your rescue. For me, long-distance is always the hardest when I’ve had a hellish day. Knowing that the distance has robbed me of the option of getting scooped into my boyfriend’s arms and crying on his shoulder is heartbreaking. Unfortunately, those are always the days when I pass by fifteen canoodling couples on the walk

home; seeing lovers holding hands while you trudge on alone makes things infinitely worse. I know I have it easier than a lot of commuter couples, considering Dundee is only an hour and a half from Edinburgh by train, but the distance is just long enough to make life difficult. Fights that usually centre on “I don’t feel like you’re putting in enough effort” or “is it really that difficult for you to pick up the phone and call me once in a while” really don’t make life any easier. I’ve learned that trust, while important in any relationship, becomes crucial for the commuter couple as every insecurity you have about your relationship becomes amplified by distance. So is it really worth all the heartache, the tearful phone calls at one in the morning and petty arguments? Of course it is if you’ve found someone who makes you feel better about yourself than you’ve ever felt before. He may not necessarily be 'the one,' but he is always the one you miss when surrounded by people who will never quite understand your relationship and he still makes you smile every time your thoughts fall on him. At the end of two weeks, or two months or however long it is before you see each other again, you realise all the fears, hassle and tears are worth it.

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ewis: Distance is something that all relationships have to deal with at some point, even if it’s just being separated by a holiday or business trip. Many students might eventually find themselves involved in a long distance relationship and, as one myself, I can comfortably say fret not - it’s often not as bad as it may first seem. One of the key things to remember about long distance relationships is that living apart means that you naturally won’t always be able to experience things together. When you’re used to spending a lot of time with someone, you will be far more aware if they change. This can in turn lead to resentment or fear that you’re not the same people you used to be. For the relationship to work you have to be accepting of this. Don’t try and force or restrain your partner from experiencing new things. If one of you is going out and living a full life, then the other shouldn’t be in a flat doing nothing; you should also be using your time to try and expand your horizons. What's important is that you just to try and stay as encouraging and understanding as possible. Just because you might not be living in the same place doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still try and make an effort to keep in contact and make time for each other. Whether it’s texting, a phone call, writing letters or skype, it's important that you stay in touch and know what’s going on in each other’s lives. Furthermore, in regards to actually seeing each other in person, it’s probably best that you try and do it as much as your schedule and finances

allow. Naturally this will be affected by how farthe distance is. For relationships operating over an ever greater distance (and possible oceans), I have to admit- I'm rather sceptical, but the principles are ultimately the same. The single most important thing when dealing with long distance relationships, however, is knowing that eventually there has to be an end to the distance. A long distance relationship cannot be an end in itself; they can at times be very hard and if there won’t be an end to the distance then one of you is eventually going to begin asking yourself whether the relationship is really worth it in the end. There must be a plan for the distance to eventually come to an end. Afterall, if it looks like you will be perpetually in an often difficult relationship, you might find either yourself or your partner tempted to end it. Neither of you will stay the same person you were when you first met, but you have to be accepting of this. Otherwise, all that it’ll lead to is arguments, doubts about the relationship and so, it ends. When handled in the right way, however, long distance relationships can be so rewarding. The fact that you haven’t seen each other in a while means that when you finally meet up, it's both a whole lot more enjoyable and you will likely have plenty to catch up on. As you both know that you only have a limited time together, you’ll also be more likely to make the most of it.

She's the man

Catriona Sharp wonders whether the unspoken rules of relationship etiquette still hold relevancy

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eing bisexual definitely has its downsides; discrimination, confusion among your friends and an uncertain future to name just a few, but what it does give you is a fascinating insight into the psyches of both sexes. When I entered my first relationship with another woman, I was interested to see the differences between a hetero and a homosexual relationship. But what I found to be most different was my own behaviour. I’ve always considered myself a staunch feminist- believing that men and women are equal, but if this was the case, why did I treat them so differently in relationships? With men, I needed reassurance; I always had a niggling mistrust in the back of my mind. But when I was in a relationship with a woman, I noticed my behaviour becoming something very different; it took me hours, even days, to reply to texts or calls and I thought it was okay to let men flirt with me and buy me drinks in clubs. The final straw came when I

realised I had actually just rolled over and fallen asleep without a word after sex. Why was I behaving like the worst possible stereotype of a man? It wasn’t a matter of whom I liked better. I behaved this way toward a woman I genuinely liked while treating men who, in hindsight, I should have ignored, much better. I had to get to the bottom of what was making me behave this way. From a very early age, we are taught about what roles men and women should play, not only in society, but in relationships too. I’m not just talking about who goes to work and who stays at home with the kids, but relationship rules like who makes the first move and who pays for dinner. While our society should be becoming more liberal and less concerned with these unspoken rules of etiquette, part of me feels like it is actually placing evermore importance on them. The rise of lad culture has been an incredibly poignant shift. Websites such as Truelad, which are

supposedly ironic, actually make misogyny seem acceptable.

From a very early age, we are taught about what roles men and women should play, not only in society, but in relationships too." On the other end of the spectrum, female-orientated popular culture is saturated with magazines such as Cosmopolitan. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t read an issue, but the covers tell us all we need to know about what society believes women should be thinking about. As I explored my own sexuality and sense of self, reading these magazines irritated me more than I could

have imagined possible. Articles entitled ‘How to please your man’ and ‘How to get in his head’ no longer bore much relevance to my daily life, and I felt a little excluded. Popular culture is meant to be what unites us- a common ground that we all take part in, but there seemed to be few things that related to my life as a bisexual woman. Furthermore, I was beginning to see how society’s depictions of men and women in relationships had ill-equipped me for life as a bisexual. My relationship eventually failed; not least because of my own inability to deal with the disregard of traditional gender roles, but being with another woman has given me a shocking insight into my own mind and behaviour. For me, that is the hardest thing about being bisexual- coming to terms with who you are all over again and learning to reflect that in your behaviour. Entering into new relationships, with either men or women, I am determined to be neither stereotype, to simply be myself.

A

long running gap in the Edinburgh club scene has been a night dedicated to the most divisive of all decades– the 1980s. Shanghai has taken it upon itself to respond to the Top Gun-theme sounding clarion call with its new Sunday night feature "Acceptable in the 80s." The club night hits the ground running with a cheap and appropriate guest-list price of 80 pence, rocketing up to only £2 otherwise. Upon entry, revellers were besieged by beings known colloquially as ‘the candy girls’ – scantily clad, attractive girls on roller-skates who were intent on giving you diabetes via their exceptionally large buckets of confectionary. Unlike the staff, who had embraced that decade’s fashion abominations whole-heartedly (particularly the DJ who was sporting a smashing wig) the plush atmosphere of Shanghai was quite unchanged; though the prevailing pinkish light did suit the 80s motif rather well. It felt a bit like being in Drive, only without the ultra-violence or Ryan Gosling’s beautiful face. Sadly, there were no men who could match that level of attractiveness. The only efforts to change the appearance of the club were various scattered 80s paraphernalia- including a multitude of Rubix cubes. The night’s greatest weakness was its drinks prices, which were nothing to travel back in time for. Though £1 and £1.80 drinks were advertised, any drink that wouldn’t cause projectile vomit would cost you upwards of £2.50. Given that it's a Sunday club night, it has generated significant clientele- a strength that other Sunday nights have failed to express. Even the mighty Hive faces numerical conundrums on what remains, much to the glee of the Christian-right, the day of rest. The club was packed for most of the night, attracting a mix of students and middle-aged people who genuinely miss the 1980s. The music, being the main draw of the night, didn't fail to deliver. All of the classics were there and some surprises even turned up. The most popular songs produced some fantastically sentimental moments, including a chorus of twelve middle-aged women screaming their hearts out to "Living on a Prayer" and two girls having what can only be described as a ‘vogue-off ’ to a stream of Madonna’s greatest hits. "Acceptable in 80s" is a good crack at an 80s club night. Though perhaps it’s dreaded Sunday night location and high drinks premiums show that there’s a reason the 1980s are a decade not visited on the Edinburgh club scene. Maybe there just isn’t demand, which is a shame, because the elements that made this night good would probably be easily replicated. Except for the candy girl- that was a devilishly clever innovation. Still, it's a more than formidable way of getting an eighties fix. Maximillian Rutherford


Tuesday February 21 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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16 Crossword

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H Cowboy Carlos is a builder who loves horsin’ around! In his spare time (which mostly coincides with those times he is meant to be building things) he predicts the future for a laugh, disregarding the responsibility that ought to come with his immense psychic talent as if it were a recommended reading list. Most of this week's predictions are probably not based in fact and that new conservatory won’t last a week.

Mystic Messages: Peter of Newington – the gristle on the bacon is paramount. Beware of the petunias! Marie of Marchmont – Scrabble alert.

Aries

Venus, the smoothest, least bestubbled of the planets, turns you into a wizard. You are surprised, but pleased. Single? That’s irrelevant. Venus has given Richard Branson your fax number. Ready yourself for the tele-conference of the decade.

Taurus

You realise that Paris Hilton has her own perfume called ‘Heiress.’ Your class consciousness tingles like a Marxist vibrator. Enraged, you launch a rival range of perfumeries to better represent the civilian population. Samples include ‘Trying to Become a Writer,’ which smells of stale cigarette smoke and mum-washed clothes.

Gemini

TV Licence police are banging on your door. And they want your meatloaf. You’d better give it to them (I would if I were you) before they break your door down and forcibly steal it from your fridge–freezer utility combination. Or leave a tetchy notice to say they came.

Cancer

Your life becomes a mix of Silent Witness and Hustle. Amid your forensic pathology and organised stealing, you find time to perfect your gaze into ‘middle distance,’ rename your flatmate Wasem and finish every day with a patronising talk to an imaginary audience about thinking for yourself.

Leo

Enceladas continues to blast its chilly Saturny iciness. That means one thing: your Uni smartcard is due for an urgent update. Soon you will begin to feel the benefits of the microseconds shaved off your entry to the library as you utilise the intergalactically speedy ‘fast lane.’ Hyperspeed!

Virgo

You’re no stranger to the methane plumes of Mars. Your bowel problems need sorting. Like a hibernating bear, you dig a hole, stuff your anus with a massive fibrous cork and sleep past your dissertation deadline.

Libya

This week, you are the superhero of Marchmont: The Warrender Walrus. You reign supreme over all the other flippered marine animals in Lothian. Watch out for Lesser Spotted Manatee Manfred. He's not to be underestimated or overestimated or estimated in any form of quantitative analysis.

Scorpio

This week Pluto impregnates you with a stunning new television drama concept: a series about a man called Kenneth, nicknamed Special K because of his stuttering inability to vocalize his entire first name.

Sagittarius

This week, the mouth breathers are everywhere: in lectures, in the library, in tercourse. Why don’t they just try inhaling through their nostrils? If you can’t be fecked to have that nasal septal defect surgically corrected then I’ll gladly do it myself.

Capricorn

You attend Innovative Learning Week, to learn how to learn. Something of a paradox. Between meditation classes and pilates you learn lots of useful revision tips. For example: the night before an exam try sleeping with a textbook under your pillow and passively absorb your way to a 2:1. Also, a handy cure for sleep apnoea, you massive mouth breather!

Aquarius

In preparation for Global Horizons, you decide to represent a growing nuclear power beginning with the letter ‘I.’ Your character, Garry Geyser, will be steaming hot. Iceland have never been so well represented.

Pisces

Your dad tells you that, while you thought his job of “cleaning up people’s messes” was janitorial in nature, he is in fact a paid assassin. He poisoned that ‘ill’ panda at the zoo. Not that this had anything to do with cleaning up other people’s messes: he just fucking hates pandas.

Dual Crossword No. 7 BY PICUS

CRYPTIC CLUES

Across 1 At a pound for a pound they’re actually evens (4) 5 His Excellency and the Hon Member supply a source of cannabis (4) 7 Apache infant makes a Pope so upset (7) 8 Chopin’s lady, Sibyl (loosely), has no time for a snack (8) 10 Pop a beard on Prince (4) 12 A bit of Bacon identifies old poet. Brad’s gob-smacked (4) 14 WW1 flying machine describes variable course in wobbly line (8) 16 Bishop’s cross with riotous Rector (and pal) spurning rule (8) 17 Dapper toady (4) 18 Extras provided by chubby escort (4) 19 Take legal action about fellows on sleazy paper for the right to vote (8) 22 Tempted more than once to ditch wife - finally? (7) 23 One socially inept Republican gets stuck into young hooligan (4) 24 Picus is included in a new way of ending prayers (4)

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Solutions to Dual Crossword No. 6 Across 1 SETTLED UP settled (agreed) + up (verb) 6 APPAL a pal round (ap) P (le) 9 BORACIC bor (e) + a CIC 10 EXTINCT ex (extra) + tin + c + t 11 RAYON Ron round ay 13 SHIPSHAPE ship* in shape (mould) 16 HORSESHOE “heroin” (horse) + “shoo” (shoe) 18 NYMPH NY + mph 21 FATIGUE 2 definitions 23 AIR RAID air (‘ reveal ‘) + raid 24 YODEL yo (hi there) + Del 25 APHRODITE a + p + hr + (ode round it) Down 1 SOBER So + be + r 2 TARRY Tar + ry 3 LICENSEE lice + seen* 4 DICE WITH DEATH [(Aid Ed), (the witch)]* 5 PART 2 definitions 7 PANDA PippA → p and a 8 LATHE la (Fr) + the (Eng) 12 AFRO contained Oklahoma frogmen 14 SCENARIO [arson, (m)ice]* 15 PEEP 2 definitions, palindrome 16 HEFTY they* round F 17 RATED rat supported by ed 19 MIAMI I am in M1 20 HEDGE h + edge 22 GALA gal + a

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Comments, questions, complaints etc can reach the compiler via the editors

* = anagram of the preceding material “ …. “ the word in the clue and the word used (as material) for the answer are homophones


rEVIEW

COMMISSION #18: fiona mcgurk

Fiona McGurk is a 4th Year BA Drawing and Painting student. She is interested in the idea that small pieces of information, knowledge, events and experiences in life can culminate into something more; that the sum is greater than its parts. In terms of her process, McGurk utilises repetitive dots as a symbol of these small parts. Mark-making is created free-hand or by using self-made stencils. The difference in method is important; the former is time consuming, laborious and meditative in nature versus the gestural, energetic sweep employed when using stencils. McGurk exploits this difference to create tension both within works and in comparison to others. Additionally, the placement of works and images, one against another, is significant, reflecting her interest in the importance of context and the impact of viewing a single or isolated image as opposed to interpretation within a wider context.


Follow us on twitter @ThestudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/Thestudentnewspaper Tuesday February 21 2012 studentnewspaper.org culture.thestudent@gmail.com

Of Mice and mediocrity

HOllY JAMesOn

18 Culture 18

Ali Quaile finds that the life of a western farmhand isn’t all it’s cracked up to be at The Lyceum’s Of Mice and Men

or anyone unfamiliar with John Steinbeck’s novella Of Mice and Men, it is a simple yet undoubtedly compelling tale of hardship and alienation. Set in California during the Great Depression, the story centres around two migrant ranch workers, George (William Ash) and Lennie (Steve Jackson), as they go in search of employment and security. George is the brains of the outfit, making all the decisions and ensuring both men have a roof over their heads, whilst Lennie is a big and loveable soul; he is not the brightest of sparks, but is undeniably an excellent worker. Set and costume designer Colin Richmond does well to capture the semblance of Steinbeck’s fable, creating a stark yet oppressive stage which outlines the worn walls of a barn littered with straw and coloured with a mix of warm yellows and light browns. The result is that the viewer gets caught up in the world of the rural West and immerses themselves in the story that ensues. While on the whole accents are solid, at moments they appear forced and unconvincing, leading to moments of wavering believability. The actors are generally well cast, with George

TWICE, AGAIN The Embassy gallery 'Til March 4

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o I guess we should start from the beginning,” the programme notes for Twice, Again at the Embassy Gallery stated plainly. From the very beginning, I felt unmoved by the entire collectioncomprising of a strange amalgamation of paint, motion picture, sound and written words. Six disjointed pieces filled the room or rather seemed to have been placed there merely to occupy space within the small, white gallery. Instead of telling a story or revealing a narrative, as the exhibition’s tagline suggested they might, each piece seemed detached from the others, unrelated despite the shared surroundings. Two collaborative paintings by Morag Keil and Lena Tutunjian comprised of dark tones and rough stick figures, one subtly portraying a cage and the crude outline of a female torso; the colours were so plain and the figures so understated that the pieces said nothing at all. Florrie James’ posters, “ghostly symbols and latent rhetoric,” were composed of sheets of paper stuck to the wall, some displaying linear, meaning-

BYZANTIUM

Scotland-russia Institute 'Til March 17

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y first impression of Byzantium at the Scotland-Russia Forum was that of a blown-up textbook. Enlarged high definition photographs have been placed alongside extracts of explanatory text, mounted on poster board and suspended from the ceiling by wires. The overall effect is very much like that of a particularly aesthetically

WHO'S A GOOD DOGGIE?: Candy and George lavish attention on a poor, doomed dog

DOUGlAs MCBriDe

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and Lennie being particularly notable. Their ability to portray the ethos of Steinbeck’s characters, through the suc-

cessful capturing of both men’s plight and victimisation, is commendable and allows a certain degree of empathy.

Despite only being one of the minor characters, John Macauley’s portrayal of the crippled skinner Crooks is power-

less symbols, others stating phrases like ‘egalitarian justice’ – words which failed to convey power or meaning without any real context. Hannah Ellul’s “Suddenly Everyone Began Reading Aloud” invites the viewer to wear headphones, sit on a chair and watch a short film; a girl speaks in simple sounds, repeating noises into your ears until finally it crescendos into a collection of layered voices. Although the girl was just making syllabic sounds rather than clear words, I felt the piece was trying to say something, yet I moved on, unsure and uncaring as to what precisely it was. In the centre of the space a television sat on the ground depicting colourful, static images of a non-descript singer while blaring unintelligible music, which soon fell silent after about a minute. The piece’s title, “Transmission (Pleasure, Ambivalence, Identification)” did not accurately represent the work and in fact summed up my dissatisfaction with the exhibition as a whole; rather than eliciting any pleasure in me or allowing for any form of identification with this exhibition, I was left feeling merely ambivalent-unclear as to exactly what kind of message these artists were trying to transmit.

SNOOKERED

that surrounds them. The juxtaposition of characters revealing their personal burdens with humorous one-liners ensures the play carries a serious message in a non too heavy way – a balance well achieved. The four friends interact using typical ‘ladish banter,’ dominated by strong language and insults whilst discussing topics such as religion, drinking, sex, drugs and gangs. This is initially well delivered and highly believable; however, the lexis, volume and pacing of the lines established in the opening dialogue rarely changes. This results in the scenes of anger sounding rather similar to the scenes of excitement and the loss of much of their potential impact. One actor stands out– Asif Khan, who plays Kamy, manages to show fluctuations in his character’s emotions, finding moments of sadness and quiet in his performance. This produces a more believable, three-dimensional character, who is simpler to sympathise and identify with. One notable tech feature was the projection of a sped up pool game on the ceiling above the pool table. This was used as an interesting and unusual device to indicate the passage of time. A clever idea, more entertaining than the traditional blackout scene change,

Polly Davidson pleasing noticeboard, rather than an art exhibition. Byzantium, curated by Vesna Petkovic with the aim of educating and promoting cultural diversity, successfully allows the viewer to step outside the expectations of a traditional exhibition to absorb instead the more interesting and informative elements of a culture which would for most people be unfamiliar. Rather than just blithely taking in the images, the accompanying passages of text encourage the viewer to engage intellectually with what they are looking at and understand how the

Traverse Theatre run Ended

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our young Pakistani men gather in a bar on the sixth anniversary of their friend T’s death to play pool and reminisce. As the evening progresses and the drinks flow, troubles are revealed, tensions build and sparks fly.

The four friends interact using typical 'ladish banter', dominated by strong language and insults, whilst discussing topics such as religion, drinking, sex, drugs and gangs." In an increasingly multicultural Britain, Ishy Din’s first full play, Snookered, is a timely portrayal of the struggles many young Pakistani Muslims face as they attempt to reconcile their faith and family heritage with British nationality and the Western culture art fits into the culture, politics and social practices of the time. Byzantium presents 1000 years of history, from the establishment of the empire in 395 AD to its fall in 1453. The exhibition is grouped into categories: town life, money, administration, religion and education and is split across two small rooms. The intimacy of the space means the (not insignificant) amount of textual information presented to the viewer is not overwhelming. Scattered amongst the boards are small examples of Byzantine artifacts, but what draws your

attention most is the photographs of the beautiful ceilings and wall frescoes of the Decani and Gracanica monasteries, their colours still vivid and in astoundingly good condition despite years of weathering. Interestingly, there doesn’t seem to be any sort of stylistic continuity in the photographs despite the exhibition being curated for such a specific purpose. Some are taken face on and completely dominated by the artwork; some, particularly of the coins and artifacts, are reminiscent of a museum catalogue; and some are more infor-

fully moving and therefore also worth noting. A character who exists in an openly-racist culture, Macauley manages to beautifully evoke the awkward isolation created as a result of a hostile social division. This combined with an impressive encapsulation of the character’s debilitating back injury makes for an endearing and ultimately compelling performance. Though the play takes a while to get going, this is arguably due to the slow moving dialogue that builds gradually to a closing crescendo. By the end of the first half, the audience find itself encompassed in the struggles of the lead characters and the sympathies that go with them. However, this sympathy is inconsistent. Certain scenes, such as the execution of Candy’s dog, are excellent in their ability to create tension, but unfortunately, this level of engagement is not maintained throughout. Considerable moments of the play feel drawn out and lack conviction; so while the performance is certainly amiable, it is ultimately capricious.

which allowed the narrative greater fluidity and continuity.

However, the play could benefit from a little editing; an hour and a half with no interval felt unneccessarily long and some of the scenes were somewhat drawn out." Overall, Snookered is a promising first play for Din. It effectively highlights issues faced by young, British Muslims. Its message, that there is huge variation in what individuals believe within the Muslim faith, is delivered in an honest and identifiable way. However, the play could benefit from a little editing; an hour and a half with no interval felt unnecessarily long and some of the scenes were somewhat drawn out. In addition, varying the pacing, volume and emotions would give a greater depth to the overall narrative and would lend impact to the final scenes. Madeleine ash mal landscapes of buildings, ruins and monuments. Art of the Byzantine period, with its intricate mosaics and vibrant frescoes, was used to overwhelm the viewer with their splendour, size and detail. Although this particular exhibition does none of these things due to its low-tech means of presentation, what it does offer is a comprehensive illustrated summary of what was one of the most important cultural, historical and artistic periods in history. keara Cornell


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Tuesday February 21 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Culture 19

STar raTINg Of spice and 10/10 Of precise and flamin' good Of nice and meh 

Of vice and dinnae ken Of yikes and when (will it end?)

Naked in the woods

rOYGBiv This week's cultural spectrum.

Zoe Blah reflects on motherhood, human instinct and nudity at Edinburgh Printmakers

T

his exhibition of Kirsty Whiten’s work features families interacting with each other, naked and animalistic. We see women protecting their children, families sleeping beside each other, mothers and pregnant women going through those rituals of bringing up children that are an instinctual element of our evolution.

L

THE GOOD PERSON OF SZECHUAN Bedlam Theatre run Ended

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s this world too harsh or should men be better? Should the gods set lower standards or should there be no gods at all? These are the questions Brecht poses to the audience at the end of The Good Person of Szechuan. In order to survive goodness has to be forgone. This is Shen The’s dilemma: her pity forbids her to turn her back to those in need, but this leads to her ruin. Her only solution is to invent Shui Ta, a pragmatic and cold hearted

IT'S MY TURN TO BE THE LITTLE SPOON: An exposed and intimate scene in Whiten's Feral Family (Unarmed).’ These pencil sketches isolate a number of the subjects seen in the larger paintings, enabling the viewer to focus on them apart from their often colourful and detailed backgrounds. The drawings are not clean-cut and polished. This makes the point that these basic instincts are not polished, but raw. A particularly interesting image

alter ego whom she uses to look after her own interests. Alas, this invented cousin gradually hollows out her initial goodness and in the end, no solution is found to her dilemma- not even by the Gods. Kinvara Hubbard’s performance as Shen The/Sui Ta is noteworthy. She renders both opposite personas, without straining them. As the play unfolds, the tension between the two increases; her acting subtly but evidently mirrors this. The theme of the double is central and some devices used to express it were both effective and pleasant. Most actors twisted on the spot to change personality; this could have been confusing at first, but some well chosen

is “Origins,” which shows a mother teaching her child to walk. The mother almost pushes the child away from her with a distressed and nervous expression on his face. The painting has no backdrop, but conveys that culture is irrelevant; learning to walk is instinctual and human. This exhibition is interesting and visual, although its layout seemed slightly confused, with a number of

props and impressive facial mimics were incredibly telling: hunchbacked, pipe-smoking grandpa turned on his heels to become bear-hugging boy, just like that.

should the gods set lower standards or should there be no gods at all?" The gods also swapped masks, which changed their attitude towards humanity: furious, benevolent, frustrated. Coupled with brilliant performances, the actors rendered The Illustrious Ones schizophrenic and

prints of Spartan boys hanging alongside the intimate portrayals of families. These seemed somewhat out of place, but happily don’t distract enough to take away from the wonderful impression of Whiten’s work. We see nothing too shocking, nothing too clean and aesthetic, but instead are presented with the private and natural aspects of family life which have not changed with our evolution.

very funny indeed. Not all the acting was praiseworthy; some lines were mechanically delivered (quite hesitantly too) rather than interpreted by actors, which sometimes broke the magic of pretence. Also, some lighting changes intended to isolate characters when speaking to the audience were awkwardly ill-timed. Two of Brecht’s own songs were barely intelligible to the audience in the back, covered by the piano and hand clapping, but on-key at least. However, these were minor flaws in the balance. Brecht is a serious test for a company and in this case, it was overwhelmingy passed.

THe ArT DOCTOr with Anna Feintuck This week: looming d*ssertations, a focused mind and nicely organised squares Dear Art Doctor, I have a dissertation to hand in next month and am yet to start writing. I have an inkling of what I want to do and the direction I want to take, but am unsure of how to focus my idea into a single coherent piece. Any advice as to how to manage the stress, the workload and ideally how to write the thing itself would be hugely appreciated. First of all: you will definitely not be the only person in this situation. Nonetheless, I think the most important non-arty advice I can give you is to ban yourself from talking to people about your dissertation, unless you absolutely need to – you just know that you’ll end up talking to the few people who are onto their second draft already and that’s not

going to make anyone (except them) feel good. Instead, think about everything that can be done in a month. Make sure you don’t waste time wishing you’d started earlier – there’s nothing you can do about that now – and just divide the time you actually have into neat chunks (reading, thinking, writing.) I would suggest trying to keep something like Mondrian in mind as you do this (perhaps his Composition with double line and yellow, 1932, which you can go to see in real life in the National Gallery of Modern Art): the neat lines and separated spaces are how you should aim to have your brain feeling. I’m sure your dissertation isn’t the only thing you have to do over the next month as well, so make sure you are hon-

Paola Tamma

Look oot for...

est with yourself about how much time you need to devote to other things, then pop them in a neat, Mondrian-esque square in your mind. If by nature, your mind is a little more jumbled, don’t try to force it into perfectly divided chunks, though – you’ll never stick to it and you’ll end up feeling bad. Try instead to emulate Lyubov Popova’s Painterly Architectonic, 1916. Here things overlap and there are vibrant colours and less than geometrically perfect shapes, but he still manages to keep it all separate. Got a problem? We can cure you! All problems will be treated confidentially. And ever so seriously. Email us at artdoctor.thestudent@gmail.com.

ast week it was announced, after a surprisingly successful and well reviewed run in Guilford, that a production of The King’s Speech will be transferring to London’s Wyndam’s Theate for a West-End run. That’s right, the same The King’s Speech that only one year ago premiered as a film starring Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush; in fact, the same The King’s Speech which less than a year ago swept the award season and won Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Director at the Oscars. This situation is downright baffling. It's understandable that it was the writer David Siedler’s dream to have the play run on the West-End when he wrote it – that is of course any playwright’s dream. Yet why, having won an Oscar for your writing, would you take your script back to the professional stage only one year after its cinematic debut? It’s time to calm down Dave; you’ve won, you’re a successful stage and screen writer. Give The King’s Speech (and yourself ) a rest, then sit down and write something else. You never know – maybe that will go straight to the West-End rather than becoming a top grossing Hollywood blockbuster and you’ll be happy. After a few years, perhaps you can let it be licensed out again for a successful stage revival of the onscreen classic. Even more daunting is the task of the actors portraying King George VI and Lionel Logue, his speech therapist. Either these guys have never seen the film or they have balls of steel to portray the same roles as an actor who won the Oscar and another who was nominated for one. It’s intimidating enough to play a role that has been immortalised on screen by a world-renowned actor, let alone a part that has gained this status in the last year. I will say right now that I don’t think that stage plays being made into movies is a bad thing; I’m still a bit in love with Sorkin’s A Few Good Men and War Horse officially just became more famous than Jesus. However, stage revivals of plays like Twelve Angry Men or Amadeus work because there are years between them and the film that made them universally famous. In the case of The King’s Speech we need some time to pause and forget. Funny, that's what my Ex told me when she left me. Thom Louis

There's still a chance to catch the F.C.B Cadell exhibition at Modern Two. Cadell was underappreciated in his day, but his work takes a really intreresting Scottish perspecitve on the French impressionist style that is still very popular. The exhibition runs ‘til March 18th. The award winning Paper Birds will be performing the play Thirsty at the George Square Lecture theatre this Tuesday. JUlie riTCHie

The paintings and prints aim to show a side to family life that is innate to who we are as humans. Whiten explains that she seeks, “to express an unspoken but profound experience at the core of family and of human experience,” and in this she succeeds entirely. Throughout the exhibition, each piece of art allows its subjects to be exposed and raw. Almost all of them are naked, with round bodies full of soft edges and smooth skin which, along with their contemporary haircuts, suggests that even though they are naked in forests and woodlands, they belong to a modern age. Many of the images show families holding each other or crouching as though ready to pounce, as in “Threat.” This image of a mother holding and protecting her child is then also isolated into a pencil drawing, on a bare, yellow background titled “Mother

EDINBUrGH PrINTMAKErS

Throughout the exhibition each piece of art allows its subjects to be exposed and raw."

A regally bad idea

An adaptation of Farenheit 451 will play at Bedlam ‘til Saturday.


Tuesday February 21 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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JOAnnA lisOWieC

20 Film

An Irrepressible Legacy Robert Dickie explores the enduring influence of psychoanalysis in cinema

the first public screening of short films. More than a century on, the early development of psychoanalysis, and the complex relationship between its two outstanding pioneers Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, comprise the subject of A Dangerous Method, David Cronenberg’s latest film. The method, often simplified as the talking cure, is still used by psychologists today, but the most significant achievement of psychoanalysis was the extent to which its ideas diffused into public consciousness and became a fundamental aspect of popular culture and the arts. Freud was dismissive of cinema as an art form, but Jung recognised its possibilities for exploring the underlying desires that must be repressed in everyday life. Horror films allow audiences to take great pleasure from scenes which would otherwise be reprehensible and this, according to some theorists, reflects an unconscious yearning for violence. Horror always displays a certain level of ambivalence between repulsion and desire, whether in the blood-lust common among fans of the genre or in its often intensely sexual overtones. To psychoanalyse Re-Animator, for example, would prove disturbing to say the least. Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho is the classic psychoanalytical horror film, with Marion Crane’s shower scene as the quintessential example. Hitchcock was visibly influenced by the movement – look no further than Psycho’s final scene, as it explains in such detail

FREUD AND JUNG: The two psychiatrists had a close relationship, but sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. the version of Freud’s famous Oedipus complex that motivated the killer. It is not just the film’s subject that owes a debt to psychoanalysis, but everything about it, right down to the way the camera is used. The visual nature of cinema is perfect for illustrating psychiatric complexes ; take Clint Eastwood’s Mystic River, an extraordinary exploration of the repression of childhood trauma, throughout which Dave Boyle’s face is bathed half in shadow to explicitly symbolise his divided consciousness.

Psychoanalysis has developed an interpretive language of its own thus audiences instinctively recognise the signs and linguistic slips that point to unconscious desires. Steve McQueen’s recent film Shame, which focuses on a form of sex addiction with typically Freudian origins, makes extensive use of them. At one stage, the central character, Brandon (played by Michael Fassbender, who also stars as Jung in A Dangerous Method) confronts a naked female intruder in his bathroom with

a baseball bat. She turns out to be his sister, but has no intention of covering up as they argue. To ensure there is no danger of you taking that to indicate an innocent sibling relationship, Brandon’s first move after leaving the room is to penetrate a hole in her scarf with the bat and hold it in the air. McQueen is a careful technician and here Freud has provided him with a universally recognisable symbol. Shame is one of numerous recent films deeply indebted to psychoanaly-

GHOST RIDER 2

A DANGEROUS METHOD

DIrECTED BY Mark NEVELDINE aND BrIaN TaYLOr 

DIrECTED BY DaVID CrONENBErg 

ark Steven Johnson’s 2006 M Ghost Rider was an abysmal film that warranted no sequel, so naturally

avid Cronenberg’s adaptation of D Christopher Hamilton’s play The Talking Cure is a brief, objective explora-

BURNT OUT: Time to consign the Ghost Rider series to ashes? stupid, it isn’t nearly tongue-in-cheek enough to turn it from a weakness into a strength. Nic Cage’s Johnny Blaze is the only noteworthy role. While Cage is known for inconsistent choices in his roles, his performance remains one of the few passable, although not exemplary, parts of the film. Another gripe with the film is the messy way in which it’s shot. Far too often parts of the picture will be blurry or out of focus and the hectic scenes are difficult to follow, as the camera endeavours to dance around faster than a

iO9

expectations for the follow-up Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance were pretty grim. Unfortunately, there are no surprises here – the the movie is atrocious. Ignoring most of the plot of the first film, Spirit of Vengeance re-establishes that stunt rider Johnny Blaze made a deal with the devil and, as a result, became possessed by a demon that eats the souls of the wicked. Almost nothing from the first film is mentioned, so people who go to see this film without watching the first won’t be lost as a result. Spirit of Vengeance is clearly built as a cheesy action flick, which is fine, but there is something about the cheesiness that just doesn’t work here. Audiences should be laughing at the absurdity of the plot or revelling in the raw excess of the action sequences. Instead, more often than not, audiences will find themselves bored during the film. The action sequences are far too understated for a flaming, motorcycle riding demon from hell and, while the plot is

grasshopper on cocaine. It’s almost insulting that they decided to release the film in 3D; it’s hard enough to watch as it is without having to fiddle with plastic glasses and the poor cinematography makes almost no use of the 3D. While Spirit of Vengeance was never going to be recognised as a brilliant film, it’s a shame that it couldn’t even rise to a level that leaves the audience amused for a couple hours. Tom Hasler Reviewed at Cineworld

tion of the development of psychoanalysis. A Dangerous Method swiftly moves between times and locations to introduce us to the field and the lives of its experts. The professional and personal relationships of Carl Jung (Michael Fassbender), Sigmund Freud (Viggo Mortensen) and Sabina Spielrein (Keira Knightley) are the perfect model for the thought-provoking questions Cronenberg presents regarding Freudian theories of sexuality, as well as issues of freedom and professionalism within the field. A Dangerous Method begins with Spielrein’s committal and therapy sessions with Jung, where she states, “I’m vile, filthy, corrupt!”, after admitting she found her father’s sexual and physical abuse arousing. The complexity of the situation is demonstrated by her academic and personal development. After an unusual on-off affair with Jung, whose disagreements with Freud are presented simultaneously, the film ends quietly with an exchange of goodbyes. Its most interesting aspect is the discussion of issues even the informed

AllMOviePHOTO

he founding text of psychoanalysis T was published in 1895, the same year that the Lumière brothers held

sis; Terrence Malick’s triple Oscarnominated film The Tree of Life is perhaps a less obvious example. It relies heavily on trauma and repression, but the most interesting aspect of the film in this context is its use of Jungian archetypes that harmonise its separate strands. Clearly visible are the stern, controlling father, the mother who embodies unconditional love and the son who becomes the source of salvation. Archetypes are also found in Christopher Nolan’s Inception, which utilises a dream structure that would have surely fascinated the men who pioneered the psychological interpretation of dreams. On one level, Cobb’s journey is an attempt to confront the neurotic grief that has free reign in the shadow of his unconscious mind. And Nolan’s complex vision of the psyche, with its layers and myriad projections, would not have been possible without the groundwork being laid in Vienna all those years ago. The key ideas of psychoanalysis have taken on a life of their own since the events depicted in A Dangerous Method. The concepts and terminology developed by Freud and Jung are now practically colloquial, and it would be difficult to find a modern film which does not, consciously or unconsciously, make use of them – to quote Viggo Mortensen’s Freud, “in whatever garbled form.” Psychoanalysis may no longer be a credible scientific theory, but its legacy in cinema and culture has proven to be irrepressible. A Dangerous Method is released nationwide on February 10th. viewer may have been unaware of. While everyone is somewhat versed in Freudian theories of sexuality, his debate with Jung about the effects of announcing new research on other fragile theories is fascinating- exploring how the media affected the field. A Dangerous Method also addresses Freud’s cynical character and financial problems and ends with poignant statements about how the war eventually affected all three. The film is an easy, informative watch, but ultimately proves unexciting and passive in its approach. Directorial style takes a backseat to rendering the lives and works of the individuals. With a questionable Russian accent and distortion of her body during her character’s fits, Knightley commits to her role. However, it is Fassbender, and especially Vincent Cassel (who plays the entertaining therapist Otto Gross), who are the most convincing and enjoyable to watch. The soundtrack is one of the film’s strengths, with Wagnerian symphonic poems. Yet for all its pleasing features, A Dangerous Method is somewhat dissatisfying. Sitting firmly outside both thorough documentary and romantic dramatisation, we experience no exciting plot or in-depth psychoanalytic discussion. roxy Cook Reviewed at Cineworld


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Tuesday February 21 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Film 21

STar raTINg Toy story The Green Mile Forrest GumpThe Da vinci CodeThe Terminal

here really is no sound as peculiar T and downright hilarious as that of the yodel. Introduced to many of us in

that unforgivably tedious puppet scene in The Sound of Music, we have been exposed to regrettably little on-screen yodelling of late. If peculiar singing styles are your thing, however, then prepare to rejoice as in The Topp Twins: Untouchable Girls there is yodelling aplenty and even some Sound of Musicstyle mountainside herding too. The most famous New Zealand comedy-folk duo in the UK today is the highly popular Flight of the Conchords. Before Jemaine and Bret arrived on our shores, however, the Topp Twins held this coveted position. Folk singers, farm enthusiasts, comedians, gay rights activists and yodellers – the Topp Twins are extremely difficult to define. What is clear from this documentary, however, is that the duo is something completely unique. The Topp Twins: Untouchable Girls is a well-made documentary which explores every aspect of the duo’s livesfrom the rise of their music career to

Reviewed at Filmhouse as part of LGBT History month

THE TOPP TWINS: A Kiwi yodelling sensation.

THE WOMAN IN THE FIFTH

DIrECTED BY PaWEL PaWLIkOWSkI  hen struggling writer Tom W (Ethan Hawke) travels to Paris in the hopes of being reunited with his estranged daughter, he meets Margit (Kristin Scott Thomas)- a mysterious and seductive woman and starts to feel his life slipping out of his control.

scenes of ugly, dim realism are juxtaposed iwth colourful, dreamlike ones. The latter are often accompanised by a distinctly surrealsounding piano score..." For the most part, the film is a character study; the camera follows Tom around Paris as he tries to sort out his life. Hawke is captivating in the role and it’s easy to sympathise with his character. We are happy to go along with his trite story of ‘the miserable artist;’ while certain questioning episodes leave us wanting to understand and so keep us engrossed with what could easily have been a very disconnecting film. Scenes of ugly, dim realism are

juxtaposed with colourful, dreamlike ones. The latter are often accompanied by a distinctly surrealsounding piano score, which seems rather obvious- as though it’s there to helpfully point out that something artistic is going on and we ought to be paying attention to it. Still, it is certainly refreshing to hear actors speak in the languages they should, rather than hoping the audience are willing to suspend reality and just imagine the French. The film is all the better for it, especially with Hawke’s bad French accent, which serves to further alienate him from the world around. Pawlikowki’s use of long shots with little cutting is put to good effect and the unusual blurring of the background when the subject of the foreground is mostly out of shot is striking and reminiscent of the early experimental filmmaking of the likes of Man Ray. However, again it is not very subtle and some of the artistic intent is lost with clumsy dialogue. The film starts to drag its heels a little in the middle and, as it does, our patience for the characters starts to dwindle, especially after some confusing sequences - though nor are they left satisfactorily vague. The ending feels rushed and sloppy, which is disappointing after such a promising opening. Sarah rundell Reviewed at Filmhouse

Classic Cult

MIDDLE EASTERN FILM FESTIVAL: Find more reviews online

ONCE UPON A TIME IN ANATOLIA DIrECTED BY NurI BILgE CEYLaN  warded the Grand Prix at Cannes A last year, this film covers a night and day in a murder investigation. Mainly focusing on the night-time search for the victim’s body, this is an arduous ordeal as the murderer (a brooding Firat Tanis) has forgotten the precise whereabouts of the fresh burial area where the body was dumped. However, despite this narrative description, Once Upon a Time in Anatolia is a film in which nothing much actually happens. The script is slow-moving and ponderous, with the focus more on the characters and their environment than on any concrete storyline. There are some masterful performances: Taner Birsel is fantastic as Prosecutor Nusret, conveying cold professionalism on the one hand and a beautifully underplayed emotional fragility on the other. Meanwhile, Yilmaz Erdogan delivers a fantastically naturalistic performance as Commissar Naci, appearing both highly relatable and frustratingly quick to anger- in many ways the ‘average man’ trying to maintain control of a bizarre situation.

EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE DIrECTED BY STEPHEN DaLDrY  ilm adaptations of novels are usuF ally lacking. However, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close does the op-

posite; it adds all the wrong things. Firstly, there’s the miscasting of Thomas Horn as our boy-wonder protagonist, Oskar Schell. Horn enunciates every word as if he’s at a spelling bee and wears hideous waistcoats. When Oskar muses that they tested him for Asperger’s but the results weren’t definitive, scepticism arises. Voiceover is hard to stomach by a good narrator, but Horn proves that precocious children are only amusing on the page.

What was originally a story about one child's attempt to make sense of this tragedy turns into emotional manipulation." This is a shame because Oskar has a compelling story to tell. A year after his father (the ever-affable Tom Hanks) died in 9/11, Oskar discovers a key and is determined to learn what it opens. He uses the quest as an excuse to hold on to his father,

Director Nuri Bilge Ceylan’s training as a photographer is evident throughout the film, yielding particularly stunning results in the first half. Filmed at night and lit eerily by car headlights, some of the sweeping, stationary landscape scenes are so well shot they could be displayed as standalone pictures in their own right. Fields roll off in every direction, while trees and stones loom mysteriously from the gloom. Indeed, the direction is consistently impressive, managing to be both striking and aesthetic without ever straying into the flashy or over-the-top. The lengthy, sprawling nature of the film (coming in at just over two and a half hours) does mean that it seems a bit stretched towards the end- with the everyday, naturalistic tone seeping into its running time to detrimental effect. The second half, especially, could perhaps have benefitted from some editing without affecting the tone or arc of the story. Despite this, Once Upon a Time in Anatolia remains engaging and thoughtful – deserving recognition both for its performances and, perhaps especially, its masterly direction. alistair grant Reviewed at Filmhouse as part of the Middle Eastern Film Festival

but finds himself meeting dozens of people who need him as much as he needs them. These individuals allow us to see Oskar through their eyes- as a charming oddball and keep us invested in his story. Although director Stephen Daldry finds some of the best actors around for bit parts (the moving Viola Davis and Jeffrey Wright), Max von Sydow outshines them all. As the enigmatic ‘Renter’ in Oskar’s grandmother’s apartment, Sydow plays a man so traumatised by his past that he refuses to speak. His communication through notebooks and the words ‘yes’ and ‘no’ tattooed to his palms offers a refreshing contrast to Oskar’s prolixity. However, Sydow’s subtlety is trumped by overly sentimental renderings of 9/11. Although critics accused Jonathan Safran Foer of cashing in on 9/11, the film makes no qualms about it. What was originally a story about one child’s attempt to make sense of this tragedy turns into emotional manipulation. The constant wail of sirens, footage of the actual event and characters sobbing throughout the film finally breaks us down. This is frustrating because the story already has the gravitas to move us and need not be forced. As a film, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close over-executes its concepts. You’re better off reading the book. Tess Malone Reviewed at Cineworld

FilMOFiliA

DIrECTED BY LEaNNE POOLEY 

their role as political activists in the anti-Apartheid protests and Maori rights movement. Director Leanne Pooley effectively uses a mix of concert footage and tender and touching interviews to fully explore the sisters’ careers and lives. The parts of the film dealing with the twins’ music and comedy will work best for those who are already familiar with the duo’s material. For those of us who are new to the twins, these sections unfortunately feel rather laboured and even border on the tedious at times. On a more positive note, for an unfamiliar audience the film is most effective when it explores the twins’ personal lives. From a rather endearing tale of coming out to their old-fashioned parents to very moving footage of Jools Topp’s recent battle with cancer, it is these personal sections that show Pooley’s skill as a director and which really register with the audience. The Topp Twins is a surprisingly lifeaffirming documentary that effectively explores the true power of sisterhood. As a whole, it is an interesting watch that will work both for fans and newcomers to the duo alike. Sally Pugh

KeXP BlOG

THE TOPP TWINS: UNTOUCHABLE GIRLS

Settling down to watch a David Lynch film is like drifting off to sleep, in the most unnerving way. A master explorer of the subconscious, Lynch takes you on a ride through disturbing, often quietly terrifying, dreams and desires. In effect, leaving you speechless and obsessing by the time the credits roll. In his first feature film, Eraserhead (1977), Lynch rips apart the urban industrial environment; addressing the smoke and mirrors of modern life and pointing toward something altogether more sinister than we might imagine. A young man called Henry ( Jack Nance) is suddenly thrust into fatherhood when his girlfriend gives birth to an extremely deformed baby, so deformed that it is unclear whether it is human. In a virtually silent film – most of the time we only hear the roaring and hissing of industry, except of course, when the lady in the radiator treats us to a sweet song. Everything about this film is troubling. It is about fear, imprisonment and helplessness, as well as many other things that cannot really be described. Whilst eternally controversial, it is now a firm cult classic and sets the precedent for what is now ‘Lynchian’ in style; its themes are present in most of the director’s later films, in various guises. One such film is Blue Velvet (1986). Whilst Lynch’s previous work was his foray into sci-fi with Dune (1984), unfortunately a critical and commercial failure (if only he’d accepted Lucas’s offer to direct Return of the Jedi!), Blue Velvet is a masterpiece in its depiction of a fictional small town where tragic and mysterious events occur. Isabella Rossellini is impeccable in the role of Dorothy, a woman at the mercy of the cruel and vindictive Frank (Dennis Hopper), who has kidnapped her husband and child so as to manipulate her. Kyle Maclachlan is the impressionable Jeffrey, captivated by Dorothy and drawn into the danger that surrounds her. The film is neo-noir in style, playing with ideas of voyeurism and discovery and characterised by its heavy use of symbolism: the finding of a severed ear in the grass, the swarming bugs beneath the lawn, the white pickets fences which rise above. It is not quite right to say that Lynch has been absorbed into the mainstream, but his work has definitely mellowed over time. This does not seem to have been out of a desire to make his work more accessible, but more out of his increased skill at exposing the underbelly of society in subtler, yet still unsettling ways. Twin Peaks is the prime example of this; although it should be advised only to watch the prequel Fire Walk with Me after the series, if you actually want to understand anything. Mulholland Drive (2001), starring Naomi Watts, is equally accomplished as a neo-noir classic. Exposing the fluidity of identity, the malleability of memory and the intricacies of both platonic and romantic love, it is the kind of film that shows you what you want to see, as disconcerting as it might seem. The city of dreams, it turns out, is as mysterious and terrible as any other, but it is nevertheless fiercely beautiful to watch. kirsty Wareing


Tuesday February 21 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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22 Music 22

Live SEPALCURE Sneaky Pete's 12 february 

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hen New York-based producers Praveen Sharma (aka Braille) and Travis Stewart (aka Machinedrum) came together to collaborate and form what we now know as Sepalcure, a lot of people were excited to see what they would make. The results weren’t disappointing. Their self-titled debut album was released at the end of last year and ever since has been getting some well-deserved hype. Their assimilation of house, techno, 2-step and dubstep has resulted in an array of interesting tracks, with catchy bass melodies, synth and memorable vocal snippets. Their "Detroit techno chords cut through wooden beats, neon synths and dubbed out atmospherics," creating the perfect ‘bass music.’ Along with some interesting visuals, including those of animated bodybuilders that did in fact cut out a few times during their set, the atmosphere created by these guys was incredibly warm, so the slightly failed visual technicalities didn’t even matter. Making obvious their pas-

albums

YOUNG GUNS Bones PIaS

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ery few rock albums will be released in 2012 amidst greater expectation and fanfare than Young Guns’ Bones. EP Mirrors and debut album All Our Kings Dead were resounding successes, the latter almost breaking into the UK Top 40 album chart. This was followed by slots supporting some of the very biggest in the business, such as Lostprophets, Enter Shikari and even Bon Jovi. In short, Young Guns are a band on the rise and under immense pressure not to disappoint with this sophomore effort. Their response is clear and simple: to take their sound to the next level, with tracks and choruses more rousing than ever before. Listening to Bones, it is almost impossible to imagine Young Guns playing in the small venues which they have become accus-

BETH JEANS HOUGHTON & THE HOOVES OF DESTINY Yours Truly, Cellophane Nose

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eth Jeans Houghton is, all things considered, quite a remarkable songwriter. Born with extremely rare synaesthesia, a disease which results in senses being involuntarily joined, Houghton struggled to read. Forcibly disconnected from conventional education and with a penchant for resisting authority, Beth dropped out of school at fifteen and bought a guitar for £500 without being able to play a note. As a story, it’s almost the stereotypical mythological tale of the birth of a singersongwriter. In reality, Houghton’s musical ambitions faced near-insurmountable obstacles. Yet it is these very obstacles which combine to make Yours Truly, Cellophane Nose a fascinating record. Synaesthesia allows the young Geordie songstress to communicate her wild and whimsical thoughts through

sion and love for what they were doing, with big grins and bopping heads, their energy entirely rubbed off on the crowd. In such an intimate venue (one of the reasons why Sneaky Pete’s is so popular) the joy and appreciation felt by everyone complemented these guys’ intricate dance creations. With crowd pleasers such as their first single “Pencil Pimp” off their debut album underway, the set came to an end after an hour, with eerie synth washes and

fade out distortion. Leaving the crowd desperately wanting more, a minute or two of solid cheering and screams for “one more tune” arose. The duo were clearly more than satisfied with this praising, and eagerly adhered to our needs, playing their first ever collaboration released in 2010, “Love Pressure.” What a way to end the night with a bang. Zoe Warshaw

DJ interview DILLON FRANCIS Q&a: Track by Track What’s been your set opener of late? UK is very different to America. In the UK I’d start with re-edit by Giant. In the States I’d start with a song I actually can’t talk about. It’s one I’ve made with Diplo, but it won’t be coming out till later this year. Favorite track of the minute? A song called Sandungueo. What’s your classic dance track of choice to put on? Easy e—Gimme That Nut is my favourite old-school song. What song do you play without fail to kick start the floor? Major Lazer—Pon De Floor. You can drop that anywhere, totally universal, stateside or over here!

MOVERS IN THE FIELD: Machinedrum and Braille tomed to, even if the vast majority are sellouts. Opening track “I Was Born, I Have Lived, I Will Surely Die” could quite easily open a Lostprophets set, such is the ferocity of the drums and lead singer Gustav Wood’s lyrics. Title track “Bones” is the centrepiece of the album, whose video is strongly reminiscent of Foo Fighters' “The Pretender”, perhaps a hint to their stadium ambitions. This album does have a little more to it than many of its genre, however. Short but sweet tracks “Interlude” and “A Hymn For All I’ve Lost” give it an extra dimension, whilst the jaunty guitar riffs and verses of “Dearly Departed” wouldn’t be altogether out of place

What track would you play at that family event? That one’s easy. Tonto—Jump on it!! The crowd aside, what eclectic song would you put on? Toddla T—Take It Back (Dillon Francis remix). What label, if any, do you live by? Mad Decent. What’s been the most underrated / underplayed track of the year thus far? Dillon Francis—Beautician 2.0. What track would you sign to your dream label? I’d want to sign Washed Out and Com Truise, and do some stuff with Canblaster. A label that does everything and more! What’s your club of choice to play at? I don’t know, that’s a hard question. The Key Club in LA.

on NME TV. All in all, then, Bones is a reasonable attempt, with plenty of big numbers to keep their burgeoning fan base happy. However, it is difficult to see what it holds to separate it apart from an already saturated market of bands such as Enter Shikari, All Time Low and You Me at Six. Gustav Wood, although an impressive live performer, presents little in either his voice or his lyrics to set them apart from their contemporaries. Whether Young Guns will be able to replicate the success of the illustrious bands they have supported very much remains to be seen.

Phil Smith

MOOMBAHTON: Mad Decent has it covered visuals, colours, noises and symbols. At the age of eight, she invented her own alphabet. With her debut album, 21-year-old Beth presents a simple record, one epitomised by childlike innocence and fascination. Yet, whilst it may be a crawled crayon sketch, the depths of imagery and colour which emerge with every listen make this a truly beautiful self-portrait.

Beth dropped out of school at fifteen and bought a guitar for £500 without being able to play a note." Lead singles, “Sweet Tooth Bird” and “Dodecahedron” highlight the nearfluorescent ambitions of the album. Both ethereal wails, heady riffs and kaleidoscopic keys, they are undoubtedly comparable to gentle young things like MGMT, Bat for Lashes and Kate Bush, but are stunningly

woozy and vivid in their own right. More impressive are “Atlas” and “Liliputt”. The first a gothic doo-wop with African finger-picking, the second a true vocal performance, so rich with folk it descends into a fiddling, foot-stomping gallop across an English countryside decked with dock leaves and dandelions. The record is as visually stimulating as it is audibly. There’s no argument that Beth Jeans Houghton shines when she is daring and glamorous, unafraid to be diverse. Closer “Prick AKA Sean” is little more than a throwaway punk slur, but thrills the blood and leaves you desperate for more. Comparatively, “Veins” seems like a dull and murky Florence + the Machine tribute, whilst “Franklin Benedict” is nothing more than a nod to the celestial Anna Calvi. No track here is bland. Yet, in a debut where all that is different sparkles, everything that seems similar is lost. Reassuringly, Beth Jeans Houghton is so determined to be an individual; it is a certainty that we’ll see a second record.

ger Ellis

CHIMP SPANNER all roads Lead Here BaSICk

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he newest EP from Chimp Spanner, ll Roads Lead Here, is the brain child of Paul Ortiz. Everything on this album is not only played by him, but also produced and mixed by him as well. In the last year or so Ortiz’s project has, perhaps unfairly, been categorised as a ‘djent’ band. So it’s easy for those that have not taken the time to listen to them to just label them as another Messuggah rip off. However, there’s a lot more than that going on here. Chimp Spanner is essentially a progressive fully instrumental metal project that incorporates everything from heavy riffs to ambient euphoria. Obviously, the lack of singing or lyrics of any kind will be the first thing that everyone will notice upon putting on All Roads Lead Here. To some, this will lead to them turning it off straight away. Yet, if you get over that and listen to the entire album,

you begin to feel it maybe isn’t as important as you believed. Opening song “Dark Age of Technology” hooks you instantly with a catchy guitar riff before descending into an electro ambience that shouldn’t work, yet somehow does. You can’t help feeling that there is some kind of story behind the music that you’re just not grasping. If nothing else, Ortiz is one hell of a musician and his songs go from airy light to heavy in a matter of seconds, while flowing together beautifully. This leads to the crux of the matter, this isn’t something you can listen to in bits and pieces or release singles from, but instead it has to be appreciated as a whole. Due to the very nature of their music Chimp Spanner are not going to be taking the world by storm or be headlining a festival near you anytime soon. However, if you put all of that aside, Paul Ortiz has managed to create something quite special here. Rather than aiming for these goals, he’s creating music that pulls in the listener, and is likely to leave them gasping for more.

Stuart Iversen


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Tuesday February 21 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Music 23

STar raTINg  Buy it!spotify playlistWatch it on Youtube Probably don't bother  nah, this is rubbish.

GOTYE Making Mirrors ELEVEN

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nless you’ve been hiding under a rock for the past month or so, you’ll probably have been singing along to a catchy little tune called "Somebody That I Used to Know" by some bloke whose name you’re not quite sure how to pronounce. However, Gotye’s third album, Making Mirrors, proves that there’s a lot more to the Australian-Belgian singersongwriter than his breakthrough hit. “Somebody That I Used to Know” is certainly a standout track, alongside Motown-style “I Feel Better” and the uplifting penultimate track “Save Me” which, with its instant sing-along quality, is verging on anthemic. However, Gotye really saves the best for last with the ambient and hauntingly memorable ballad “Bronte”. Amid the gentle percussion and lush synthesizers, his repeated line “We will be with you”sums it up just perfectly: you won’t be forgetting this little beauty for a while. Gotye’s closing track is truly a quiet triumph.

Gotye has managed to pull off an album which incorporates everything from hushed ballads to blues to avantgarde pop without sounding all over the place. Having said that, there are a few moments when he falls just slightly below the mark. The deliberately overdone auto-tuning on the otherwise minimal track “State of the Art” is perhaps just a little too arty for its own good. Conversely, there are a few tracks - particularly towards the end of the album - that simply breeze past your ears, leaving very little effect whatsoever. But just when you think Gotye has fallen into bland, easy-listening territory, he jumps right back on form with a crash of trumpets or a rousing guitar riff. Making Mirrors covers a lot of ground in 42 minutes. Despite its array of genres and styles, Making Mirrors avoids sounding thrown together, but rather presents Gotye as a truly creative and experimental artist. The overall feeling of the album is upbeat, joyous and it has more than just a few good tracks. As far as becoming a one-hit wonder is concerned, Gotye has absolutely nothing to worry about. Lisa gilroy

FIELD MUSIC Plumb MEMPHIS INDuSTrIES

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underland indie rockers Fieldmusic have returned for their fourth album, Plumb. Here Fieldmusic tread very familiar territory, yet repeat their infamous trick of doing just enough different to keep renewing themselves. It is at times an overwhelming and baffling listen, but also a fascinating and delightful one. The album’s beginning is disorienting, with the violins of “Start the Day Right” as an unexpected way to kick things off.

Ten$ion ZEf IMPrINT

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ollowing the success of $O$ in 2009, Die Antwoord (“The Answer”) have decided to release another album with a dollar sign in its title. The Cape Town trio is comprised of Ninja, Yo-Landi Vi$$er and DJ Hi-Tek, who describe themselves as a “fre$, futuristic, flame-throw-flow-freeking, zef rap-rave krew from da dark dangerous depths of Afrika.”

There's something twisted, grotesque yet utterly compelling about them.”

ANAIS MITCHELL Young Man in america Wilderland records

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uccessfully following 2010’s Hadestown, a recorded version of her little-performed Orphean myth-based ‘folk opera’, was always going to be a hefty task. Hugely ambitious in concept and both elaborate and intricate in delivery, it gained almost universal critical acclaim and shot Mitchell into a more mainstream audience than her previous traditional folk endeavours would have suggested possible. Whilst Young Man in America, the 30-yearold’s fifth album and first released on her own label, is a simpler creation, none of her intrinsic musical and lyrical talent has been sacrificed. Instead of an operatic opus, Young Man in America has an air of the storybook about it (albeit a fairly mature one). Mitchell weaves tales that intrinsically lament the decreasing importance of traditional roles and values in American life – sheltering mothers, shepherding fathers and biblical allusions are motifs that appear again and again. Yet these ideas never come across as outdated or unrelatable,

as Mitchell’s lyrical skill creates such vivid imagery that it’s almost impossible to believe there isn’t something to be found within her words that could strike a chord with any listener. The instrumentation is equally impressive. The harsh drums and strums of opener "Wilderland" create a dramatic yet sparse background for which Mitchell lays out the basis of the albums focus. Her guitar ranges from quiet and delicate, as in “Dyin Day”, to upbeat and poppy, boosted by harmonica in the short and sweet “Venus’. A sturdy brass section weaves in and out constantly, eventually coming in to its own in the last minutes of closer “Ships”. Although her voice is admittedly an acquired taste, acknowledged by Mitchell herself, the emotive quality of it is undeniable. Whether tuned to express the hopeless battle cry of the increasingly visible lost adolescence of her homeland (as in the title track), or turned down a notch in the tragic ballad “Shepherd”, it always spills with sentiment. It is inevitable that Young Man in America will always be somewhat overshadowed by its predecessor, but that isn’t to say it’s not a triumph in its own right. Sarah Timmins

their whole career desperately running away from the traditional indie tag, particularly when associated with the same city that produced The Futureheads and Frankie and the Heartstrings. The comparison is unfair, as Fieldmusic have always provided something a little differently than their contemporaries and Plumb is no different. Whilst it is almost overwhelming in its sheer complexity and its contrasts, it is always intriguing. Above all else it is a pleasant album, perfect for the morning stroll to the university, or indeed the evening walk home. I can guarantee this will give you a little spring in your step. Phil Smith

LOOK SHARP: ...and a bit wistful. The Brewis brothers have mastered the art of the indie photoshoot

DIE ANTWOORD

FACE! NAME!: This should allow you to put one to the other

Fieldmusic quickly find their stride, however, with David Brewis’ reflective lyrics in “Sorry Again, Mate” in a stark but pleasant contrast to the song itself. In “A New Town” the Brewis brothers weave their magic around a pulsating bass riff that really sees the album make headway. Delight continues, from the gorgeous “From Hide and Seek to Heartache” to the lead single finale, “(I Keep Thinking About) A New Thing”. In many ways, it is bizarre that this is the last track of the album, as it is the most accessible. Nevertheless, it is a satisfying end to a very satisfying album. Ultimately, Fieldmusic have spent

Previously signed to Interscope, the group have released this album on their own label, refusing to conform to the “wack” sound that the company apparently sought. Nevertheless,

ORANGE GOBLIN a Eulogy for the Damned CaNDLELIgHT ruNTIME

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range Goblin have been on the go since 1995 and are probably one of the more overlooked bands in the UK heavy metal and rock scene. Breaking through as a stoner metal band, they acquired fame for their live shows but have never quite made the step up. New album A Eulogy for the Damned is their first since Healing Through Fire, which was released in 2007, so has been a long time coming. However it was probably worth the wait. Opening with the sound of the ocean, first song “Red Tide Rising” instantly grabs you around the throat and makes you sit up and pay attention. Guitarist Joe Hoare is on top form, a trend that will continue throughout the whole album. The album itself sounds huge and yet at the same time still close enough to imagine they are in the room with you playing it, all the signs of a fantastic production. Ben Wards’ slightly southern rock tinged voice sounds as good as it ever has and he seems to go from strength to strength throughout.

there’s something twisted, grotesque, yet utterly compelling about them. Ten$ion kicks off with “Fok Julle Naaiers”, which translates roughly to “fuck you all” (oh, cheers). This phrase is repeated endlessly throughout the track over some tedious synths, while more disconcertingly, DJ Hi-Tek delivers a profanity-laden and alarmingly homophobic verse (“you can’t touch me faggot”). In “I Fink U Freaky”, Yo-Landi’s sugar-coated, eerily childlike voice slithers over what is essentially an inane rework of Benny Benassi’s “Satisfaction”. Saving the album from total disaster is the slick production and the beats themselves – the thunderous bass in “Fatty Boom Boom” makes you temporarily forgive the vulgar nursery rhyme that’s being warbled over the top. Video game bleeps feature heavily in the album, and “Baby’s On Fire” feels like a stabbing explosion of technology with a double dose of juvenile lyrics (“I’m a wild child, I don’t wanna go to bed / Uh shit sorry man I’m stoned again”). There are moments on this album that stand out above others. “Stand for Something” is a stomping rock anthem, while the “Filthy and the Few” shows Orange Goblin maintaining a punk-rock-like speed and energy to their music. However the best thing about this album is that it easily slips into the all killer no filler category. The song writing throughout shows Orange Goblin on the top of their game and there isn’t a single moment where you feel they might have let their minds wander.

In final track “Never Le Kmise 2”, the trio clumsily scramble aboard the dubstep bandwagon after an interlude of mundane trance, demonstrating Ten$ion’s frantic attempts to clutch onto current musical trends.

The trio clumsily scramble aboard the dubstep bandwagon after an interlude of mundane trance.” They attempt to be controversial by saying “fuck” a lot, but there’s no South African political or social commentary – it’s just dumbed down, unimaginative rap churned out for the mainstream consumer. Admittedly, Die Antwoord operate as a piece of performance art and so perhaps it’s unfair to judge them on their music alone. But still – if they are the answer, I don’t think I want to know the question. felicity Martin

A Eulogy for the Damned should easily sit up there as one of Orange Goblin’s best works and it deserves to. Featuring catchy yet heavy songs, you can easily imagine becoming regulars in rock and metal clubs around the country. It is British heavy metal along the lines of Motorhead, Judas Priest and Iron Maiden and in many ways they have managed to stand up to the legacy of those bands: praise that can’t really be beaten. Stuart Iversen

MONOCHROME MAGIC: Neither goblins nor orange


Tuesday February 21 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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STar raTINg

Old spice Bodywashsoap n Gloryradox 2 in 1Tesco value That bar of soap that's been in the toilet for two months and has now gone dry

Guilt-free TV?

LOST

& FOUND

Alistair Grant travels into Channel 4's controversial documentary series

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young girl frets over her extravagant outfit ahead of her first holy communion, explaining matter-of-factly to the camera that “it’s important to look good for God.” Elsewhere, a bride-to-be discusses her choice of cat-themed wedding dress and towering, ten-tiered catthemed wedding cake, while a 13 year old boy gets his highlights topped up and sighs wearily over the many girls he has hankering after him around the world. “ There’s probably over a hundred,” he moans. This could only be the world of Channel 4’s phenomenally popular documentary series Big Fat Gypsy Weddings. After a controversial advertising campaign that saw the words “Bigger. Fatter. Gypsier” printed over the faces of young children, the contentious series is back for more gypsy-themed and no doubt ratings-grabbing madness. It’s guiltily entertaining television, there's no denying it. You might not want to enjoy it, but you

how they are coming across and simply don’t seem to mind; they are unapologetic and often surprisingly unguarded in the face of questioning and criticism. They also seem to be genuinely enjoying themselves in front of the camera. The problem with the programme is in its advertising and promotion and the way its title lumps all the varied travelling communities into a show which solely focuses on one particular travelling group. We are

led to believe that all gypsy travellers live this lifestyle and such flagrant misrepresentation is highly damaging to a sector of society that already faces enough misguided public criticism and contempt. Perhaps the best way to describe Big Fat Gypsy Weddings is worryingly entertaining; enjoy it, by all means, but do try to keep a worried, furrowed brow plastered to your face at all times to at least attempt to redeem the whole experience.

aBC (2007) tv-links.com

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Much of the criticism around the show has centred on its supposedly exploitative nature; these people, we are told by patronisingly earnest tabloid journalists, are being cynically used for our entertainment. But the evidence on display doesn’t seem to support this accusation. The people being filmed appear very aware of

NATURAL BEAUTY: "I don't even wear that much make-up, honest!"

Jack Murray lathers up and examines the role of soap opera on television and in society n one of the very first reviews of Coronation Street, from December 1960, a Daily Mirror TV critic wrote that the show was “doomed from the outset – with its dreary signature tune and grim scene of a row of terraced houses and smoking chimneys.” Now, over 50 years since its first showing, the very things that frustrated the reviewer exist as icons of British television: the theme tune a lilting lullaby, the smoking chimneys a familiar teatime backdrop and the terraced houses, now with added double glazing, home to some of television’s

PUSHINGDAISIES

it's guiltily entertaining television...you might not want to enjoy it, but you do."

Seeing yourself in the suds

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ABC

Channel 4 Tuesdays, 9pm

do. The personalities on the show are fearlessly outrageous and frequently hilarious, while the weddings and customs are so over-the-top they often stray into the downright cartoonish. As viewers,we may feel uncomfortable with much of what is on show: young girls worryingly obsessed with their image and disturbingly sexualised, a community structure firmly entrenched in a sexist, male-dominated hierarchy – but there is no denying that it makes for colourful TV.

most beloved characters.

50 years since its first showing, the very things that frustrated the reviewer exist as icons of British television" What started out as a bold project from Tony Warren quickly became a

ratings hit. Warren was interested in creating something that represented real life in a Northern town, taking the cinematic sentiment of the British New Wave and condensing it into halfhour TV snapshots. The curious blend of wild wit and visceral energy mixed with moments of quiet solace and real melancholy, placed inside a continuing narrative framework, embodied a new way of doing television. These were characters formed from research and experience, created with the intention of rousing knowing nods between you and your friends as you worked out which rogue or bitch or barmaid you were most like. It was television set on the streets, for the streets- provocative portraits of actuality on a moving screen for all to see. At once a mirror to society, as well as an escape from its humdrum beat; the fur-coats, fist fights and slapstick comedy provided light relief from the show's ominous shadow of grit and truth.

“ MONOCHROME: Parts of Manchester still have no colour. Sad.

iTv

At once a mirror to society, as well as an escape from its humdrum beat" And it remains so. Though the image is sharpened and the murder more frequent, the generation spanning idealism present in the Coronation

Street of the 60s continues in the here and now. It has been transferred and slightly altered in similar soaps such as EastEnders and Emmerdale. As a child of the Sky Television boom, existing on a solid diet of Babestation and EastEnders and Emmerdale repeats, I’ve always been aware of the Queen Vic and Woolpack’s greats (and what a middle-aged lady looks like whilst grinding a satin pillow.) I’ve seen Frank Butcher bonk his barmaids, a frightening farmyard siege, Nick Cotton get off his tits in the launderette and the Dingles getting progressively more gross. There is an argument that says the continuing rise of violence, fantasy and melodrama in soaps undercuts the original intention of Tony Warren and his seminal series idea, but that undermines what is truly special about the soap, both old and new. For soaps remain a reflection of our society: only ever as farcical, frustrating, gruesome or unruly as our own world is. By continuously pushing boundaries, breaking taboo and holding considerable light to important social issues, it's a television concept committed to a doctrine set out by Warren and honoured by subsequent individuals. It remains the most democratic form of television out there, consistently producing shows of the people, by the people and most importantly for the people.

CHAnnel4

BIGFAT GYPSY WEDDINGS

orensic and fairytale are not often words you see together, let alone imagine as appealing, but Pushing Daisies couldn’t make murder mysteries more twee. The brainchild of the whimsical Bryan Fuller (whose previous show, Wonderfalls, involved talking animal figurines), PD is about a baker who can raise more than just pastries, but the dead. As a kid, Ned (the eternally winsome Lee Pace) learns that his touch can revive the dead, but only for a minute- otherwise someone else will die within the vicinity. Yet like Midas, if he touches the undead again, they keel over for good. This causes some untimely deaths leading to his Dickensian upbringing; his only happiness is derived from his childhood crush on Charlotte, fondly called Chuck. When she moves away with her spinster alcoholic cheesemonger aunts (like a better version of Roald Dahl’s Spiker and Sponge), Ned expects he’ll never see her again. Fast-forward and Ned is a pie maker who moonlights in forensics; he and his PI friend Emerson solve murders by having Ned touch the dead, ask who killed them and then collect the reward. It’s all fun and riches, until Ned finds Chuck (the charming Anna Friel) at the morgue. He can finally be with the love of his life, just as long as they never touch again. Although the show got cancelled after 2 seasons (and one wonders how much longer it could’ve gone with its catch-22), it has as much quirk as a Tim Burton film. The candy-coloured sets reminiscent of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory make the quintessential backdrop for murders involving diabolical dog breeders and whacked out windmill operators. The show never takes itself too seriously, as evidenced by Dr. Seuss-esque narration and more puns than this paper could come up with (favourites include the first episode entitled Pie-Lette, the bakery’s name- The Pie Hole and a character named Randy Mann). What saves PD from becoming a hipster delight is its earnest characters. Kristin Chenoweth, as the waitress with a flair for the dramatic, offers some sassy comic relief. PD makes for the perfect escapism- transporting you into the world of your favourite childhood fables, but with a dark twist. Just don’t be surprised if it makes you crave a pear pie with gruyère crust. Tess Malone



Sport

Tuesday February 21 2012

studentnewspaper.org

Squeaky bum time

Phil Leonard takes a look at how the Premier League challengers shape up ahead of the final straight �27

Cross country success for Edinburgh

READY, SET, GO: It was a good day for Edinburgh's women in Falkirk Cross Country Running Scottish National Championships A DEPLETED Edinburgh Hare and Hounds put in a strong performance at the Scottish Nationals in Falkirk on Saturday – with the women’s U20 team picking up the silver medal.

EDINBUrGH UNIVErSITY HArE AND HOUNDS CLUB

Daniel Ashworth reports on a strong performance from the Hare and Hounds at the Scottish Nationals

Rhona Aukland led the charge by picking up individual bronze and was supported by Steph Lawrie (31st) and Jo Shepherd (36th). Stephanie Davis finished an impressive 10th in the women’s senior race to add to her impressive recent results, while James Waldie took tenth in the men’s U20 section. Ladies captain Becky Hannah

said, “I am so proud to be part of the Haries at the moment. “We have been really successful recently and it just shows all our hard work is paying off. “The club spirit is fab and everyone gave it their all.” Despite a vast reduction in the number of runners turning out for the club due to injury and illness, there was still a strong team out to battle the elements and once again bring back medals.

The club is enjoying a good season so far and will look to build on their success in the last few races of the season. They host their own race, KB5, on March 10th and the Scottish University 10k road championships follow shortly afterwards.

1st 2nd 3rd 31st

Laura Muir 16:24 Elizabeth Potter rhona Auckland Stephanie Lawrie

16:55 17:03 19:36

Scottish Nationals U20 Men 1st 2nd 3rd 7th

i am so proud to be part of the Haries at the moment. All our hard work is paying off."

Luke Traynor ross Matheson David Vernon James Waldie

26:18 26:34 26:49 27:35

Scottish Nationals Senior Women 1st 2nd 3rd 10th

Freya Murray rosie Smith Abbey McGhee Stephanie Davis

28:59 29:30 30:03 31:20

Scottish Nationals Senior Men

Becky Hannah, Women's Captain

The result comes after a highly successful weekend two weeks ago in Cardiff where the Hare and Hounds women took third place at the British University Championships.

Scottish Nationals U20 Women

1st 2nd 3rd 45th

Derek Hawkins Andrew Douglas ross Houston Arjuna Sivakumaran

38:52 39:43 40:20 43:42

SILVER MEDAL: Under 20s

Basketballers lose in overtime thriller

Charles Cutteridge watches Edinburgh lose against rivals Glasgow in a thilling relegation dog-fight edinburgh 1st Glasgow 1st

60 63

EDINBURGH NOW face a desperate struggle against relegation following a dramatic overtime defeat by Glasgow last Wednesday. In a tight, low-scoring game, the hosts came up short in the dying seconds as they failed to execute down the stretch – leaving them stranded at the bottom of the BUCS Premier North division. Lee Petit’s side have two tough games left in which to overhaul their rivals – away at second-placed Durham and at home to table-toppers Worcester – but the coach is not giving up yet. “We just didn’t play smart down the stretch, too many missed free throws, too many threes,” he said. “Still, we’re not relegated yet. We still have a chance.” It was a devastating end to a thrilling game, unfortunately marred by poor tactics from the home side. They started nicely with an early sevenpoint run, putting the visitors on the

back foot and bringing the crowd into the match. But Glasgow fought back and the first quarter finished with Edinburgh ahead 12-8. Michael Kirkpatrick was running the offense effectively from the point and the home side were drawing fouls in the lane, but the shots just weren’t falling in what turned out to be a very poor shooting effort from BUCS Premier North 1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th

Worcester 1st Durham 1st Leeds Met 1st Northumbria 1st Glasgow 1st Edinburgh 1st

P 8 8 8 8 8 8

Edinburgh 1st Fixtures Durham 1st vs Edinburgh 1st (29th Feb) Edinburgh 1st vs Worcester 1st (7th March) Glasgow 1st Fixtures Northumbria 1st vs Glasgow 1st (29th Feb) Glasgow 1st vs Durham 1st (7th March)

Pts 21 18 18 9 3 3

Edinburgh. They converted only one from nine free-throws in the first half, wasting far too many possessions to be effective offensively and they suffered from this failure to establish a significant lead. As it came into the final clutch minutes, Edinburgh were ahead by five after some good defensive hustle earned them an extra possession. However, at the crucial moments the basics let them down. Their failure to box-out on a free-throw lead to a costly Glasgow three-pointer, Kirkpatrick then went none from two at the free-throw line before Glasgow shot two free-throws to steal a tie and take the game to overtime. Overtime saw an exchange of free throws give Glasgow the upper hand but with both teams tiring it went down to the wire. In the last 30 seconds Edinburgh managed to turn over the ball, giving them 17 seconds to rescue a three point deficit. But the precious seconds were painfully frittered away as, out of ideas and out of energy, a last gasp attempt from Ben Warrington refused to go in. If they can work the inside game more in their remaining games, Edinburgh might stand a chance. At times,

Martin Amstaetter and Warrington proved they could be effective driving low. If they do that and the team shoots their free throws, maybe, just maybe, they’ll have a chance to save themselves.

Overall BUCS Standings 8th Nottingham 9th Edinburgh 1478 10th Oxford Edinburgh BUCS Points 1st Hockey 2nd Fencing 3rd Squash 4th Swimming 117 5th Lacrosse 5th Table Tennis

1492 1297 142 128 127 108 108

Sat 18th February results Aberdeen 2nd 23-25 Edinburgh 1st (Women's Netball)

SO CLOSE: Edinburgh

CHArLES CUTTErIDGE

Men's Baskeyball BUCS Premier North

Wed 15th February results Edinburgh 1st 60-63 Glasgow 1st (Men's Basketball) Edinburgh 1st 42-66 Leeds Met 1st (Women's Basketball) Aberdeen 1st 0-2 Edinburgh 2nd (Men's Hockey) Aberdeen 1st 8-11 Edinburgh 2nd (Women's Lacrosse) Glasgow 1st 2-6 Edinburgh 1st (Men's Hockey) Edinburgh 1st 11-0 Heriot-Watt (Women's Football)


sport fan? Write for us! sport@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday February 21 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Sport 27

Squeaky bum time for title hopefuls

Phil Leonard assesses the shape of the top six ahead of the Premier League run-in The Premier League title run-in is now well and truly underway. In just over two months, the 2011-2012 champions will be crowned. This season, however, the cast has changed. Chelsea, Arsenal and even Liverpool are enduring an uninspiring campaign. Chelsea are languishing in fifth place and it has been months since they have done anything more impressive than scrape wins against teams they should be beating comfortably. Arsenal, for all the talk of a revival, are weak — in terms of both personnel and attitude. Few of their players are good enough to lace the boots of the ‘Invincibles’ of 2003/2004. Liverpool are not the force they once were. Tottenham were seen last season as a very, very good team. They played an exciting, fast paced and attractive type of football which won them plaudits across not only the UK but also Europe. However, they seemed to lack the ability to win dirty. They now deservedly stand third

in the table and are a team that nobody wants to play. Tottenham are lethal in attack and have players who are both devastatingly quick and mesmerising skilful. This season they have added stability and a dogged determination, personified by the impervious Scott Parker. Touted as a possible England captain, Parker has given Tottenham an extra dimension. He allows Luka Modric, Gareth Bale and Rafael Van der Vaart to push further up-field without worrying about leaving space behind them. Though controversial, Emanuel Adebayor has improved Spurs this season. He does not always score, but he plays with a determination belying his reputation and possesses deft skill despite his lanky frame. Adebayor has given Tottenham the ‘big man up front’ that Harry Redknapp so clearly enjoys and is more complete than Roman Pavlyuchenko or Peter Crouch. Love or hate them, Manchester City

are currently sitting atop the Premiership table. In the first half of the season, City

The next few months will be a physical and psychological battle. Whoever wins will have earned it." were playing exceptional football and, despite a relatively indifferent January and February, they are still winning. Losing the Toure brothers was a blow – Yaya is irreplaceable. Gareth Barry and Nigel De Jong are superb defensive players, but they sit more as anchormen for City, slowing the game effectively. Yaya, on the other hand, drives City forward from similar positions. Without him, City are easier to defend against. With him, they will be

very difficult to stop. It is theirs to lose. Alex Ferguson’s ever-present Manchester United are in the hunt and nobody would expect any less. They may not have international superstars in every position, but they have a cohesion, work rate and desire that moves them forward. Always. As champions, they have a proven record of being able to win at the business end of the season and if they put a run together they will really test the resolve of their “noisy neighbours.” However, in defence, they are less stable than ever. David De Gea, Phil Jones and Chris Smalling are still learning, Rio Ferdinand is creaking and Jonny Evans is not good enough. In terms of creativity, Ferguson has responded to the challenge of replacing Paul Scholes unconvincingly. United, though, can never be written off. For these challengers, the next few months will be a physical and psychological battle. Whoever wins will have earned it.

The legacy debate: a US fascination

Manning and Brady's Super Bowl battle is the latest captivating sub-plot, writes Chris Massie competition. As they occur more frequently and as the internet makes information more accessible, arguments have become more refined. Fans and media analysts cite a plethora of sometimes simple, sometimes mathematically inscrutable (look up baseball sabermetrics) statistics to explain why one player is better than another. In addition to being about individual feats, however, debates about a player’s legacy almost always return to the success of his team. The absence of a championship victory is a gaping hole in the legacy of any player, no matter how talented, skilled or dominant on the field during other parts of the year. Meanwhile, winning additional championships vaults the names of players who have already won one or more into increasingly revered company. Super Bowl XLVI, in which the New York Giants defeated the New

England Patriots by a score 21-17 on February 5th, held especially intriguing ramifications for the legacies of the starting quarterbacks, the Giants’ Eli Manning and the Patriots’ Tom Brady. The reasons for this date back to Super Bowl XLII, four years ago, which featured the same two teams. Up to that point in the season, the Patriots had won eighteen times without losing and Brady had set the all-time single-season record for touchdown passes (the signature statistic for a quarterback), with 50. The Patriots were on the verge of the first 19 win season in NFL history. Brady, who had already won three Super Bowls, had a chance to join Terry Bradshaw of the Pittsburgh Steelers, who retired in 1983 and Joe Montana of the San Francisco 49ers, who retired in 1994, as the only starting quarterbacks in history to have won four. Shockingly, the Patriots lost, giving the previously unremarkable legacy of Manning a

WE MEET AGAIN: Eli Manning has twice got the better of Tom Brady (right) in recent years

Ali BrADsAW

ANYBODY WHO seriously supports a sports team knows that everything is secondary to winning. Yet, permeating almost every major American sporting event is a common subplot, which engages fans on a level that transcends the game, the team and the specific championship at stake. This is the question of the impact of the game on the legacy of the star athletes involved. In a culture that generally prizes individual above group achievement, debates about player legacy are an example of the penetration of that mentality into one American arena in which the group tends to overshadow the individual. Fans with passionate opinions on celebrity athletes pose the greatness of players they adore as counterpoints to the greatness of players they despise. These debates are also the creation of the American sports media, which is always concocting new drama to inject into the

tremendous boost. Not only had the Giants won a championship, they had beaten the undefeated New England Patriots, and Manning, who engineered an astonishing game-winning touchdown drive in the final minute, had bettered Brady.

To overcome somebody else's excellence is to emphatically proclaim one's own ." This year, as in 2008, Manning’s Giants regained possession late in the final quarter, losing, with defeat the almost certain consequence of an inability to score. Once again, Manning was the hero. Although, in theory, all championships are equal, to twice win at the expense of a player of Brady’s rare caliber holds special connotations. To overcome somebody else's excellence is to emphatically proclaim one’s own. Furthermore, Manning has entered a group of only three active NFL quarterbacks with at least two championships (the other two are Brady and the Steelers’ Ben Roethlisberger.) He has surpassed his older brother, the Indianapolis Colts’ Peyton Manning, who won one and has long been considered the superior player. Debate over which Manning brother is better is no longer laughable. The Patriots’ loss this year was Brady’s second failed attempt to become the third quarterback with four championships. By winning either Super Bowl XLII or XLVI, he would have thrust himself into the center of the debate over who is the greatest quarterback to ever play the game. He remains a factor in that argument, but for now, his legacy has been marred by Eli’s ascent as his nemesis. Whether Eli will forever haunt Brady’s legacy will be determined after the two players are retired. Until then, we can only speculate, bicker and await the next twist in this rivalry, although it may never come.

Injury Time

TakES a WrY LOOk aT THE WOrLD Of SPOrT Handshakes at dawn You can tell a lot about a man from his handshake. Even more by his lack of. Rejecting a handshake is usually the product of one of two thought processes: i) Disappointment at a previous handshake and a reluctance to indulge in the same floppy mess. ii) You’re in a mood. Whether Luis Suarez rejected the hand of Patrice Evra based purely on megalomaniacal need for the perfect shake and judged from past experience that Evra’s was substandard, akin to shaking hands with a pissed fish, is doubtful. Though still probably a much better reason than being in a handshakeless huff because said hand-dangler had told the appropriate authorities that you were racist towards him and you were subsequently found guilty. Either way, the pre-game handshake ritual that walks wearisomely across football pitches is under scrutiny. The Suarez/Evra debacle, together with the abandonment of the tradition before QPR, Chelsea’s recent F.A Cup tie and Wayne Bridge’s consistent lack of handlove for John Terry, has given the tedium of flesh-upon-flesh a shot of sensationalism. Interestingly, with the Terry and Bridge case, if they were to lock hands, the mutual squash of Vanessa Perroncel’s DNA would create a chemical reaction so strong that it would fizz and pop and bang, releasing a thousand 3-inch tall underwear models, angry, climbing up into the mouth and then the soul of Terry before sultrily posing their way out of his stomach, like Alien in a wonderbra, leaving him in a heap of lingerie and death. More fool Bridge. Instead of an age-old showing of respect and honour, the handshake now seems soiled in mistrust and martyrdom; bookmakers taking bets on who might reject the palm of friendship next, advocates of the ceremonial finger touch defending it as though its killed a puppy and its role model intentions being doubted as the FA realises that kids just want to score net-busting goals and kick the shit out of each other, not exchange in a muddy embrace. If it is to go, I can see only one viable replacement: the Curb Your Enthusiasm stare. Just like how Larry David, the show’s cynical protagonist, stares into the eyes of potential nemeses, footballers should be given a few minutes to sink their peepers into opposition’s peepers. The only problem I see with this replacement is that when faced with the eyes of Mikel Arteta, players may swoon so much during their stare that they too fall in a heap to the grass. Not in lingerie and death though, but in pure, dreamy chestnut bliss. On the bright side, with eleven players giggling on the floor, Arsenal will probably start climbing the table. Probably. Jack Murray


Edinburgh has decoded the cube. Find out more @decodethecube. Broadband in a box. Just plug it in and ta-da, your home has internet.

Go in store, call 0800 358 4419 or visit three.co.uk/easyweb

H3G02G03022 Web Cube Student Edinburgh P3 360x260 V2.indd 1

16/02/2012 17:42


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