The Student 05/02/2013 by The Student

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Tuesday, February 5th, 2013

“SHAMEFUL” In bid to safeguard “excellent reputation” EUSA gags the Student

By The News Editors

n Tuesday, 22 January 2013, the Student newspaper was censored by Edinburgh Students’ Association

University (EUSA). The Student was served with an interim interdict that prevented it from publishing the first issue of the term, which contained an article that EUSA believed would have been damaging to its reputation. In an unprecedented move, EUSA has taken legal action and censored a society under its representation. The Student is a society made up entirely of students of the University of Edinburgh. Its staff are unpaid volunteers who combine writing and editing the paper with their individual studies.

The article in question was written after the Student was anonymously leaked documents which EUSA believed would ‘damage’ their “reputation amongst the student population” as well as having a “significantly adverse effect upon the ability of EUSA to carry out its business”. EUSA also feared the article could harm their “ability to recruit and retain staff”. The Student asked the party(ies) involved for comment on the night of Sunday 20 January, the night before the issue was scheduled to go to print. All documentation the Student had received and written in relation to the article was also forwarded to the relevant party(ies). The next day, the evening of Monday 21 January, bailiffs served the Student committee members with an interim interdict which prevented the publication of the article in question,

as well as any reference to its contents. The Student was forced to pull the edition from distribution. Referring to the events, the Student News Editor and co-author of the article Thurston Smalley said, “EUSA’s court-issued interdict against the Student is a shameful violation of the principles of democracy and press freedom, and represents a thinly veiled attempt at controlling the flow of information regarding the activities of members of this community’s democratically elected student union. “We firmly believe that the information enclosed in the documents we were given should be in the public domain, but now we’re unable to fulfil our duty to put them there. EUSA won. The underdog lost.” Alistair Grant, the Student newspaper News Editor and co-author of the offending article, added, “The purpose of a newspaper should be to

report on the facts as you see them. EUSA has rendered this impossible by censoring an article for the sole reason that they did not like what it contained. “The veracity of the article in question was never disputed. This is simply a case of an organisation censoring the press over contents it did not wish to be made public. I believe these contents were in the public interest, and in the interest of the student body of the University of Edinburgh as a whole.” EUSA President, James McAsh, defended the actions of EUSA to the Student: “Although we are a democratic organisation there are certain legal obligations that we are required to adhere to.” Editors-in-Chief Daniel Swain and Nina Bicket commented, “We believe that the legal grounds for their action are unfounded and that regard-

less, in any society the role of the press is to provide to the public facts which might otherwise not have been known but which are in its interest. “We find it deeply regrettable that EUSA has taken this action, so contrary to its democratic mandate and raison d’être.” EUSA is a registered charity and provides a range of services to the student body of the University of Edinburgh. It has an annual turnover of around £9,000,000 and a full-time staff of 120 people. The Student is a society of the university that relies on advertising to publish a weekly newspaper for the students of the University of Edinburgh. It has an annual turnover of around £30,000 and a weekly circulation of four thousand copies. Read the Editorial Page 19

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Returns on MBAs halve since mid-1990s as degree costs rise By Callum Mason

Photo: Patricia Drury

he salary boost that Masters of Business Administration (MBA) students can expect to enjoy after graduating has halved since the mid-1990s, according to research published in the Financial Times annual MBA rankings. The research found that students graduating from top US MBA programmes in the 1990s could see their salary triple within five years, but those graduating in 2008 have seen only half that increase. Conversely, the course fees for MBAs have increased by over one and a half times in the past seven years, with the average top one hundred US MBA costing over $100,000 for two years. Despite the decreasing salary boost that the qualification is now offering, research found that the gender pay gap for MBA graduates decreased for the first time between 2012 and 2013, from $22,000 to $10,000 dollars. The decreased value for money offered by the qualification is deterring many students from enrolling on MBA courses, with applications to US and UK programmes falling continually since 2010. The two-year course is now being overlooked by many, who instead have turned to the one year specialised Master of Science degree, typically of-

fered as Master of Finance (M.Fin) or Master of Management (MMgt). The shorter length of these degrees means lower tuition fees, whilst the focus of the qualification is much narrower, offering students the opportunity to specialise in fields such as accountancy, without having to cover the breadth of an MBA. Economists have suggested that the drop in salary boosts offered by the

MBA is at least partially down to the global financial crisis, which began in 2007. Between 2000 and 2008, approximately 40 per cent of US MBA graduates went into the field of finance, but since 2012 graduations, many of the US’s top MBA schools, including Harvard Business School, reported huge declines in the share of students going into the sector.

Since the beginning of the global economic crisis in 2007, there have been various calls from business experts for MBA courses to be altered amidst claims that they are outdated and no longer as valuable as they once were. In 2009 Jay Light, then dean of Harvard Business School, argued that MBA courses were no longer suited to the financial climate.

“We lived through an enormous extended period of financial good times’’ stated Light, who graduated from Harvard Business School in 1970. “People became less focused on risks and risk management and more focused on making money. We need to move that focus back towards the centre.”

By Nina Seale @hirundonovus

ones of a super predator from the Jurassic period have been identified as a new species by researchers at the University of Edinburgh. The new species has been named Tyrannoneustes lythrodectikos, which means ‘blood-biting tyrant swimmer’ in ancient Greek. It has been classified in a family of fully aquatic crocodyliforms, which are related to modern day crocodiles. The species has helped researchers form a picture of how this family was evolving about 165 million years ago, providing a missing link between marine crocodiles that fed on small prey, and predators higher in the food chain that fed on larger prey (like modern day killer whales).

The partial skeleton is currently the only specimen of this species, which contains remains of its jawbone and teeth. The skeleton was found in one of the numerous clay pits owned by Alfred Leeds in the early 20th century. Leeds donated numerous fossil specimens from his private collection to public institutions during his lifetime, but as the Tyrannoneustes lythrodectikos was incomplete, with very little preservation of skull and none of the forelimbs, this specimen remained in his private collection until 1919 (two years after his death). There was very little interest in this fossil specimen until 2011 when Dr Mark Young, from the University of Edinburgh, found it at Glasgow’s Hunterian museum. Dr Young told the Student that although the species is believed to have fed on quite large prey compared

Artwork: Dmitry Bogdanov

Edinburgh team identifies new Jurassic marine predator species

with some of the other known crocodyliforms, it was not safe from larger carnivores in the ocean. He said, “Tyrannoneustes could have been predated upon by the giant pliosaurs of the Oxford Clay Formation (such as Liopleurodon). Other marine crocodile fossils show bite marks, some of which show evidence of healing (meaning the croc survived the attack).”

The state of the fossil has led to some restrictions on his research, however. Dr Young continued, “Unfortunately, nothing can be said about how and what Tyrannoneustes fed on. We have no preserved stomach contents. “From the species mandibular and dental morphologies we can infer it could swallow smaller prey, and/or was capable of biting into and breaking

larger prey into pieces small enough to swallow. These morphologies include: enlarged teeth; the teeth have serrated edges; a characteristic shape change of the mandible allowing it to open its mouth wider (increased gape), and a unique arrangement of the upper and lower tooth rows which would have facilitated shearing during a bite (increased the ease at which it could break large prey into smaller pieces).”

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By Alistair Grant @Aligrant_90

he principal of the University of Edinburgh, Professor Sir Timothy O’Shea, answered various questions posed to him by students at a meeting held on Tuesday 29 January in George Square Lecture Theatre. The event, organised by Edinburgh University Students Association (EUSA) President James McAsh, was the first of its kind and saw the Principal answering queries on topics as diverse as smoking in public places, the university’s ethical investment policies and funding for Syrian students. While the event was poorly attended by the student body, with only around 20 students present at the meeting, a large number of the university’s staff was in attendance to help answer specific queries or questions relating to their areas. In an opening speech, the Lord Rector of the university, Peter McColl, called the event ‘exciting’ and pointed to the fact that this was the first time the principal had taken part in an open forum to answer students’ questions. The principal was read the ques-

tions by James McAsh, who read out three at a time and then gave the principal time to answer or hand the question over to another member of staff. Questions were also taken from members of the audience. Addressing a question on Scottish university governance, the principal made reference to the tough economic conditions in the country and appeared to defend his own salary, saying, “I’m paid an average salary for a British vice chancellor. It is a lot of money, and I work very hard to try to provide value for that money.” He continued, “Because of economic circumstances for the last four years I have refused any pay rise or any inflation rise.” The principal receives a pay packet of £286,000 per annum (including pension contributions and other benefits). Speaking on the issue of graduate employability, the principal said, “95 per cent of our graduating undergraduates, within 18 months, are in appropriate employment, and we do very well in world lead tables.” Addressing a question on what the university’s policy is to help Syrian students who have been cut off from

scholarships from their own government, the principal confirmed the university’s commitment to helping those students and providing them with the means to continue their studies in Edinburgh. After answering the question, the principal received thanks from a Syrian student in the audience for the university’s help in providing support for Syrian students to continue their studies, and maintained that Syrian students will be able to graduate. He continued, “We will check that what I said is true and if it’s not true, we will make it true.” Asked what his opinion was in relation to the recent EUSA decision to reject Princess Anne as chancellor of the university, the principal responded, “There is an etiquette point, and then there is a pragmatic point. “The etiquette point is the body that elects the chancellor is the general council, which is our alumni body… My understanding is that they followed their process entirely properly.” He continued, “I’m slightly uncomfortable that one part of the university chooses to criticise [another part].” He then drew a comparison with

Photo: Alistair Grant

University principal responds to student questions

Meet the principal: Peter McColl and Timothy O’Shea the election of Peter McColl as Rector of the university, pointing out that he was also elected unopposed and that the general council did not criticise EUSA for that. Outlining the pragmatic reasons for Princess Anne’s position as chancellor, the principal called attention to the work the chancellor does in

encouraging people to donate to and invest in the university. He continued, “If the chancellor were to step down then inevitably it would be harder for the university to raise money for scholarships and bursaries, and harder for the university to raise money for new buildings.”

By Ben Donlan

he headmaster of Scotland’s oldest boarding school has complained that the University of Edinburgh discriminates against private school applicants in their selection process. Peter Hogan, who has been headmaster of Loretto School since 2008, accused the university of having an admissions policy which amounted to “social engineering”. He followed this by saying that the University of Edinburgh’s admissions staff had a “lack of professionalism”.

likely to accept state school applicants over private school applicants, like those from Loretto School. He said, “It’s been made very clear that those particular individuals were more interested in children from state schools than children from private schools.’’ Moreover, Hogan said, “There are some people who we have spoken to at Edinburgh who have seemed to be discriminating against Loretto pupils, saying that children from schools like ours should go to university south of the border because they can afford it.” Worth noting is the fact that Scottish students who study in England

“

There are some people who we have spoken to at Edinburgh who have seemed to be discriminating against Loretto pupils, saying that children from schools like ours should go to university south of the border because they can afford it.” - Peter Hogan, headmaster of Loretto School

Hogan’s criticism included claims that the university was more

would have access to the same funding and grants as their English peers.

Hogan complained that Lorettonians had been rejected unfairly on “academic grounds” and described how he was fearful to speak out in case he prejudiced his student’s applications. However, Hogan felt able to say that Edinburgh does not “seem to be particularly motivated to be giving us fair and even-handed offers anyway”. Loretto school was founded in 1827 and is located in Musselburgh. The school which charges £27,750 a year for a boarder in its senior school claims to be “one of the top boarding schools in the UK”. The University of Edinburgh uses a number of contextual factors in its selection criteria. The university says that, “The selection process [includes] a consideration of a range of non-academic factors.” This more holistic approach to admissions has widened participation in the university, particularly from students from deprived areas and low income families. The university’s website notes, “Widening Participation (WP) to

Photo: The Sun/Daily Record

Head of top Scottish boarding school claims Edinburgh discriminates against their students

higher education is a strategic priority for the UK and Scottish governments.” It is this top down approach that has caused ire amongst some. Other universities have also been accused of bias against private school pupils. The University of Bristol faced a controversy in 2003 around claims that it favoured state school pupils in its selection process, but later some of these claims were dismissed as inac-

curate and exaggerated. Around 18 per cent of pupils aged over 16 are privately educated, with seven per cent of all British pupils privately educated. Around 30 per cent of students at the University of Edinburgh are privately educated. However, this percentage rises to over 40 per cent at the universities of St Andrews, Oxford and Cambridge.

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By Alex Shaw

tatistics published by the Higher Education Statistics Agency (HESA) show that ethnic minorities comprise only 19.5 per cent of all academics in UK universities. The figures show that white males remained the largest demographic in higher education, comprising 80.5 per cent of all academic positions and 85 per cent of non-academic roles within universities. The figures follow the publication of a report by the University and College Union (UCU) which found that Black and Minority Ethnicity (BME) academics were severely “under-represented” at the institutions studied. The success rate for BME academics applying for “professorial positions” was found to be 14 per cent lower that of their white peers. 26 per cent of applications are from BME academics, with around 10.5 per cent of those applications successful. According to the UCU report, there is a “representation gap of 935

BME professors”. “[...] In all but 31 of 164 institutions, the representation of BME staff at the professorial grade is disproportionate to (and much lower than) their representation at all other academic grades.” Whilst the number of BME “non-professorial academics” rose 2 per cent from 2010/11, education experts say HESA’s figures bring into question the success of higher education diversity initiatives by universities and the government. Speaking to the Guardian, Heidi Mirza, Emeritus Professor of Equalities Studies in Education at the Institute of Education, said that UK universities “are still very much white, male institutions of privilege and self-reproduction.” According to Mirza, underlying institutional barriers restricted BME academics’ access to professorial positions in universities: “Higher education is about peer review and has a fundamentally nepotistic way of operating. It’s about networking and people supporting people

Photo: Miller Center of Public Affairs

Ethnic minorities severely underrepresented in academia

they know who are like themselves, who they feel will mirror their own areas of interest. BME people often don’t fit into that.” HESA figures also reveal a deep gender divide within academia. Women account for 47 per cent of the “non-professional academic workforce” and 67 per cent of the total part-time employees in UK univer-

sities, though only around one in five professors are women. Simonetta Manfredi, Joint Director of the Centre for Diversity Policy Research at Oxford Brookes University, said that the government should apply greater pressure to universities in order to diversify academia. He said, “The moment you link gender equality issues to funding, all

universities will do it.” Manfredi’s comments were supported by the publication of a report by the Research Councils UK report which said that “despite positive progress, there are still too many groups under-represented” in UK universities.

By Annie Hamill

early a quarter of schools in England have failed to produce a single pupil with the required A-levels for top universities. There are 2,540 schools in England that teach A-levels. In 594 schools not one student achieved two As and a B at A-level in “facilitating” subjects, the required grades for acceptance to Russell Group universities. The “facilitating” subjects are maths and further maths, English literature, physics, chemistry, biology, history, geography and languages. These subjects have been published by the Russell Group as being the subjects commonly required for entry into the best universities. In only two schools in England did more than 70 per cent of students achieve two As and a B at A-level in these “facilitating” subjects. The government’s target of 40 per cent of pupils obtaining five A*-C GCSE grades has also been missed by 215 schools. This data is based on GCSE and A-level results from the summer of 2012. The disparity in academic achievement is demonstrated by the

margin between the best and worst achieving local authorities. The GCSE target of five A*-C grades was attained by 79.6 per cent of students in the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea. Only 40.9 per cent of pupils from Knowsley, a local authority in the northwest of England, achieved these grades. The discrepancy between these areas shows that the education system is falling behind in some areas of the country. Many areas with the lowest results are some of the most socially and economically deprived in the country. The Department for Education believes that the national curriculum should “raise aspirations about the world of work and further and higher education,” but the new government data on schools’ exam results suggests the authorities face further challenges in widening access to universities. Nevertheless, the data might not be as bleak as it first appears. The figures represent students whose A-levels were all considered “facilitating.” Students who studied other subjects such as religious studies or economics would be on the wrong side of the data, even if they attained three A grades. The data also does not represent

Photo: Aldisley

Quarter of UK schools failed to produce AAB students at A-level

those who did in fact receive offers from Russell Group universities. It is clear that many students currently attending Russell Group universities sat A-levels in subjects that were not considered “facilitating.” Keziah Berelson, a second year

student of politics and Arabic, received offers from four Russell Group universities: Edinburgh, Sheffield, Bristol and Liverpool. One of her three A-levels was government and politics, which is not one of the “facilitating” subjects.

Keziah echoed the worries of many students, saying that too much emphasis on “facilitating” subjects in an already narrow curriculum will lead students into “taking A levels that aren’t appropriate for them, and don’t best display their talent.”

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By Alistair Grant @Aligrant_90

ver 300,000 people from around the world have signed up to the University of Edinburgh’s Massive Open Online Courses (MOOCs). MOOCs are free, online higher education courses that were launched by the university in July 2012. The courses offered by the university span the humanities, engineering and science faculties, and include ‘Introduction to Philosophy’, ‘Equine Nutrition’ and ‘Artificial Intelligence Planning’. All courses are still open for enrolment and will run for a set period

of five weeks, except ‘Introduction to Philosophy’ which will run for seven weeks. No qualifications are required to enrol in the courses, which are designed to offer a taste of university for those unable to take on an undergraduate course on a full-time basis. This is not the first time the university has offered online learning opportunities for prospective students. Online Masters programmes are already in place and currently attract around 2,000 students from 114 different countries, with students even given the opportunity to experience virtual graduations using the Second Life virtual world. Referring to the MOOCs, Professor Sir Timothy O’Shea, Principal of

the university, said, “As someone who has researched in this area for more than 40 years I am thrilled to bits that we have been able to attract so many learners to experience what Edinburgh has to offer. “Online learning is an increasingly important method of teaching, opening up high-quality education opportunities to people around the world. “I am delighted that these free courses have caught the imagination of the public and they also act as a great complement to our rapidly expanding efforts in providing other forms of online teaching, including full postgraduate and other distance-learning courses.”

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300,000 sign up for Edinburgh’s free online courses

Discretionary Funds 3500

Do you have unexpected financial problems which make it difficult for you to cover basic living costs? Are you worried that financial concerns will distract you from your studies?

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WHY WAIT? APPLY TODAY! Application forms are available online at www.ed.ac.uk/student-funding/uk-assistance and from EUSA Advice Place Offices

Supporting Students and Changing Lives

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Girls should fight for the right to party By Kelly Leigh-Cooper

“DON’T BREAK YOUR HEELS AND STAGGER ABOUT IN THE WRONG CLOTHES AT MIDNIGHT. THIS IS BAD.”

- Joanna Lumley

British girls are the “biggest binge drinkers in the Western World” - a title we really shouldn’t be proud of. In her interview, Joanna recognised that there must be “something in our society” behind this phenomenon. She thinks that women believe that looking “laddish” makes them “look funkier”. Ignoring the archaic use of the term ‘funky’, I don’t necessarily be-

lieve that girls like myself drink excessively to look attractive. We all know the end result is almost always the exact opposite, unless you’re into the detached false eyelash, kebab guzzling, bedraggled look. So why do we do it to ourselves? If we wanted to look ‘laddish’, we’d save ourselves the blisters and go out in trainers or flats. But girls gen-

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oanna Lumley this week sparked outrage after offering a blunt lesson in etiquette to young girls regarding their drinking habits. Speaking as a native Geordie girl, my region and its stylised culture represents the epitome of the “trash” which Lumley allegedly despises. She suggested young women should “dress properly” and “don’t get drunk” in order to avoid being taken advantage of, asserting that strangers could “rape”, assault or “rob” them. Many have suggested that she’s victim-blaming and somehow excusing perpetrators of rape. However, I believe this is an extremely inflated and absurd assertion. Her wording is perhaps sharp, outdated and offensive but the intention behind it was good. Joanna may not have staggered around city streets heels in hand, but I certainly have - and had the hospital trip for glass extraction to prove it. Being a seasoned drinker has resulted in an iron-stomach lining so being sick in the gutter isn’t a regular occurrence for me, but it’s a regular sight, not just in Newcastle, but in cities all over the country. According to a 2011 report,

erally don’t. Women can spend hours getting ready for a night out, but still feel the need to anaesthetise themselves with alcohol in order to have a ‘good time’. But is ending up hospitalised with your stomach pumped or being uncharacteristically promiscuous really what constitutes fun? Society has ingrained in us that we need alcohol to have the confidence to enjoy

ourselves. Personally I, a student from the binge drinking capital of the UK, am going to test this theory and see if I can go through with a wholly alcohol-free lent. Joanna’s comments, although at their core protective, are in general wholly unrealistic. Girls have as much right to go out and get drunk as their male counterparts and shall continue to do so. They will push the boundaries of decency, ignoring the ‘cleavage or legs only’ rule. And sometimes yes, they will be sick on themselves, carrying their heels because they’ve danced them to the point of breaking. But bleary eyes and lowered inhibitions are not a replacement for sexual consent, quite the opposite. Of course it’s dangerous when rapists choose to ignore this, but in my experience the best way to stay safe is sticking together with friends. Inebriated or not, the force of girls together is the best protection around. There’s something quite beautiful about four best friends singing (or shouting) along to the radio on the way home to the exasperation of the haggard taxi driver, attempting to not fall asleep so you can get him to take you through the McDonalds drive through on the way.

By Stephen Maughan George Orwell has been talked about a lot recently. This June, he would have turned 110 and January 21 marked the 63rd anniversary of his death. The British media have certainly taken this opportunity to celebrate the author, with columnists of all political persuasions clamouring to write their own unique take on his genius. Radio 4 also seems to have caught Orwell fever, broadcasting a month long series of programmes dedicated to his life and work. With all this media attention, it’s worth considering why Orwell’s distinguished legacy has endured and why he is frequently idolised as one of the most insightful political intellectuals ever to put pen to paper. The answer is really quite simple. What we see in the likes of Nineteen Eighty-Four - the unrestrained tyranny, the suppression of personal liberty, the deadly consequences of breaking rules laid down

by a totalitarian state – have become huge, very real problems for the world we live in today. Nineteen Eighty-Four gives us Winston Smith and many other characters struggling under the totalitarian rule of ‘the Party’. The lives they lead are subject to unnervingly thorough state regulation: their private lives are closely monitored; they face horrific punishments for defying the Party’s rule; they are not even allowed to think thoughts that go against the interest of the state. Any sort of individualism, independent from the regime, is ruthlessly crushed. This novel was written in the late forties, and put forward as a prediction of what some pre-existing totalitarian states could morph into if their absolute power remained unchecked. Over 60 years on, it’s clear that Orwell’s projection could not have been more accurate, as many totalitarian states have indeed taken on these repressive traits shown so lucidly in Nineteen Eighty-Four.

Take North Korea, for example. It has recently come to light that people there are forced into near-constant regimentation, repressed by stringent curfews and sent to horrific prison camps for speaking out against the state. In North Korea, we see the same eradication of individual liberty as we do in Nineteen Eighty-Four and therefore that Orwell’s vision is more than applicable to the real world. This is why Orwell is so revered today: he undeniably possessed the extraordinary insight to foresee where some states were heading under the rule of a totalitarian political minority. Nineteen Eighty-Four could have served as a blueprint for North Korea, but it does not stop there. A newspaper can rarely be opened these days without encountering the ‘Orwellian’ problems many countries now face. You may have heard that the Iranian state has launched a campaign of intimidation and physical violence against the country’s journalists in order to

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Big Brother is watching in the 21st century

“IF YOU WANT A PICTURE OF THE FUTURE, IMAGINE A BOOT STAMPING ON A HUMAN FACE-FOREVER.”

George Orwell, 1984

keep them onside during the upcoming ‘elections’. If you’ve read Nineteen Eighty-Four, you’ll know that sort of state repression is exactly what Orwell envisioned. Egypt seems to be rapidly descending into an Orwellian police state, where innocent people have died in a frantic state-led effort to bring the Egyptian people under control. Today, tyranny remains unchecked in Syria, Afghanistan and many other nations

that suppress personal freedoms. Many of these problems were foreshadowed in the work of George Orwell, who is rightly regarded as one of the foremost intellectuals of the modern age because he correctly predicted where the dangers of unchecked power could lead; and it seems that many authorities have long mastered the art of doublethink.

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The British citizenship lottery By Megan Gairns

illustration: charlotte capitanchik

eing British. Is it something you really think about on a daily basis? In fact, I expect you very rarely think about it at all. However, with the emergence of the new British Citizenship Test there has been a lot of controversy over this matter and the changing nature of citizenship as a whole. This all new and improved test sets its contestants against a 45 minute timer to answer questions that really do espouse the best of Britain. We have the ‘day in the life of a Brit’ section: teaching our immigrant what to do should they happen to knock over a fellow Brit’s pint in the local pub. We have the ‘what happened so far in the past, we Brits don’t actually know what happened’ section: teaching our immigrant how violent we Brits can be, should they happen to cross us. And last, but certainly not least, we have the ‘what the Brits call politics’ section: allowing our immigrant to be introduced to those running the show they so very much want to be part of. We are even providing our lucky hopefuls with the “Life in the UK: A Journey to Citizenship” handbook, full of handy tips and hints. It even reveals the Queen’s exact age, should they want to send her a birthday card.

On publication, the handbook faced a backlash of criticism. The UK Border Agency acknowledged the failings of the first publication in that it “did not fulfil its role particularly well.” More scathing critics stated that the book was full of “factual errors, sweep-

ing generalisations and gross misrepresentations.” If this is true, what exactly are we hoping our immigrants will gain from it? Between 2005 and 2009, the test had an overall pass rate of 70.9 per cent. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Western

closed down by the owner. The website contained pages of abuse directed at Beard, ranging from comments about her husband and children to photoshopped pictures. This was not an isolated incident. ‘Don’t Start Me Off!’ was a dedicated hate site, a space for posting vicious attacks on public figures. The majority of the site’s targets were women, and many of the comments were shockingly misogynistic and violent. It would be nice to think that the closure of this site will deter these commentators, but to do so would be naive. This is much bigger than one website; people who wish to post abusive comments will simply do so elsewhere. ‘Don’t Start Me Off!’ was a symptom, not the root, of the problem of online misogyny. Beard’s experience is not unique; on the contrary, it is all too common. While internet trolls – deliberately provocative, anonymous commentators – undoubtedly target men as well as women, trolling is fre-

quently combined with misogyny, and almost any woman who attempts to participate in public life faces some sort of online harassment.

countries had the highest level of success, with 95% passing. In contrast, in Iraq and Bangladesh, the pass rate fell to 50%. With the alterations now in place focusing more on Britain’s historical background, it will be interesting to see if this has any effect on pass rates. Curiously, a sample test taken by 11,118 British citizens only managed a rather disappointing pass rate of 14%. This begs several questions; is the test still relevant to modern British life? More to the point, if the average Brit cannot even pass the entrance test into their own country, is it fair to assume others can? Are there any other means of examination that could be used? The test has provoked extensive debate, but no one seems to have come up with a worthy alternative. In our multicultural society, ‘being British’ is a continuously evolving concept, which may involve “driving a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry, on the way to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.” In the “Battle to Become British”, learning where Stonehenge is situated or how many wives Henry VIII beheaded is a small price to pay. For some light reading and a £50 admission fee, you gain the privilege of becoming a fully-fledged member of the United Kingdom.

Classic case of misogyny By Emma Ramsey

omans, Professor, Pompeii; these are a few of the words that spring to mind when Mary Beard is mentioned. Cambridge classicist and presenter of BBC history programmes, she is not usually a divisive figure. However, after a recent appearance on Question Time, Beard became known for a different reason: for speaking out about the avalanche of abuse she received following the programme. Anonymous commentators took to the internet to vent their contempt for Beard; some criticised her political opinions, but many chose to attack her for different reasons, mocking her hair, clothes, age and general appearance. Many of the comments were, in Beard’s words, ‘truly gobsmacking’ in their misogyny. One website in particular, named ‘Don’t Start Me Off!’, caused so much controversy that it was eventually

“

The question that needs to be asked is why this abuse is happening” The question that needs to be asked is why this abuse is happening – why is the internet such a hostile place for women? Are the views displayed by some commentators the preserve of a few bitter, reclusive trolls, or do they reflect an underlying misogyny in society which, when the perpetrators are cloaked in anonymity, is fully revealed? After all, some of the attacks on Beard’s appearance could be seen as merely developing the view expressed by Sunday Times critic A.A. Gill that Beard is too ugly for television and ‘should be kept away from cameras altogether’. Gill dismisses Beard because, to him, her status as an ac-

complished classicist is less crucial to her presenting ability than her attractiveness. Would anyone complain that David Attenborough is too unattractive to present a television programme? It seems that as women gain more prominence in politics, journalism and academia, some misogynists express their anger by harassing women who, in their opinion, do not deserve an equal place in society. Misogynistic abuse aims to discourage women from participating in the public sphere. It creates a poisonous environment, where women are forced to accept the likelihood of harassment as the penalty for following their ambitions. Beard wrote a blog about the abuse she had received, determined not to let her detractors have the upper hand. This is admirable, but it will take more than her defiance to eradicate misogyny on the internet; the abuse she experienced was merely ash spewing from a spitefilled volcano of misogyny.

NEWS JACK NEWS JACK Menganno Unmasked

t is because of superheroes that we can all rest easy at night. But be warned, not everyone can become a legend. It takes an entire movie montage to perfect the skills required. Take Menganno for example. He describes himself as a ‘real, flesh and blood superhero,’ sickened by injustice. He ticks the right boxes, as an ex-cop, with his own territory to protect in the form of Buenos Aires. Heck he even has a decent costume, masking his identity in a Superman style suit, with his own symbol on the chest. Unfortunately Menganno fails in several other areas, proving just how tough superhero life can be. His name translates into ‘Joe Blow’ which isn’t very cool at all. He has a wife, leaving himself open to classic revenge tactics from all his enemies. Very foolish. Admirably, Menganno ‘keeps his gun at home,’ when out on patrol and defends himself with a torch, pepper spray and a compass. This doesn’t exactly rival Batman’s arsenal but perhaps this is explained by the fact that stories of Menganno actually fighting crime are hard to come by. For some reason he is seen as more of a joke than a vigilante. This is all irrelevant however as last week, after being involved in an apparent shoot-out from his car with an unlicensed gun, Menganno’s true identity was revealed as 43-year-old Oscar Lefosse. Officials report that all shots were fired from the car and Mr Menganno has been heavily criticised for endangering the lives of innocent bystanders, very un-superhero-like. Thus Menganno’s ‘crime fighting’ days have reached a premature end. At least in his last act, Mr Menganno did manage to perfect the superhero’s ultimate fall from grace. Is there anybody out there who can take up his mantle?

-Andy Neville

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Olympic security is a burning question By Abi Samuels

ue to a terrifying absence of alarms, extinguishers, sprinklers, exit strategy or any real emergency infrastructure, Santa Maria’s Kiss nightclub became a horrific death trap for 235 Brazilian students last week when a fire broke out. As families mourn the tragic and untimely deaths of loved ones, questions remain to be answered concerning how the blaze started and was able to burn so rapidly out of control. The disaster comes at a time when the country should be celebrating, having this year completed the first of the stadiums in preparation to host next year’s football World Cup. Instead, President Dilma Rousseff has declared three days of national mourning and called for nationwide support in the aftermath of this tragedy. Worryingly, the negligence which provoked the fatal fire is not the only concern that has arisen from the incident. This fire, the worst of its kind in over 50 years, also raises the question of whether the Brazilian authori-

ties are up to the task of ensuring that correct health and safety standards are complied with in venues for next year’s World Cup and 2016’s Olympic Games. While Rousseff stressed the need to make sure “tragedies like this are never repeated”, tougher laws will remain of little use without real enforcement.

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Since it was announced that Rio de Janeiro is to host the 2016 Olympics, the city’s serious crime problems have received close attention.”

Brazil is certainly no stranger to legal evasion. Many businesses, local and national, are often found to be unregistered, partly in an attempt to avoid tax but also because it involves an excessive amount of paperwork. Those who do try and register often find themselves sucked into a lengthy and frequently delayed process, and bribes are common. It is perhaps unsurprising, then, that both the public

health license and fire safety plan of the nightclub in Santa Maria had expired. What is more surprising is that the club, which lacked even the most basic safety precautions, had gained a licence in the first place. However, security problems in Brazil are far from being a recent issue. Since it was announced that Rio de Janeiro is to host the 2016 Olympics, the city’s serious crime problems have received close attention. Shortly after the decision was made, drug gang violence wreaked havoc in the city centre, only eight kilometres from where the Olympics will be held. While both Rio’s Mayor and Governor acknowledge these serious threats, they have highlighted that such concerns were presented to the International Olympic Committee (IOC) throughout the bidding process and that there is time to clean up these major crime problems before the events. However, is last week’s fire truly a cause to doubt the city’s already expensive efforts? We should remember that the day after the IOC session chose London to host the 2012 Olympic

Games was also the day of the 7/7 London Bombings, a coordinated series of unexpected and brutal suicide attacks on the London transport network. Still, the UK managed to host the games with no real threats to the capital’s security.

“

Both the public health license and fire safety plan of the nightclub in Santa Maria had expired”

With the task of hosting international events comes not only responsibility, but also the ever-present threat of the unknown. It is fair to say that the money generated alongside the World Cup and Summer Olympics has aided Rio’s ‘pacification’ project and resulted in some of the lowest figures for homicide the city has ever seen. We must remember that while no city is without its domestic flaws or international threats, events such as the World Cup and Olympics bring with them optimism and international cooperation, perhaps even a glimmer of hope in these times of mourning.

HS2: The speediest way to lose cash

e it extortionate ticket prices, poor service or delays, the railways can always be relied upon to give us something to moan about. Therefore, it is hardly surprising that last week’s release of the plans for the second stage of the UK’s proposed highspeed rail network prompted public outcry. The government’s £32 billion HS2 network has, on paper, already made it from London to Birmingham and phase two sees proposals to extend it to the north, namely to new stations in Nottingham, Sheffield, Leeds, Manchester and Manchester Airport. Links will also be made to York, Durham and Newcastle in the north-east and Liverpool and Preston in the north-west, as well as Edinburgh and Glasgow. Trains reaching speeds of up to 250mph will drastically reduce travelling times between the country’s major cities; a move which the authorities claim will rejuvenate the economy and solve once and for all the north-south economic divide. However, opposition to the plans is enormous, with over 70 groups be-

ing established to protest against HS2 – and they have a point. First and foremost is the issue of the massive impact that HS2 will have on the British countryside. Many argue that the proposed route mercilessly slices through the countryside, pushing aside areas of natural beauty, not to mention actual houses and businesses. New tracks, bridges, embankments and overhead wires will all need to be constructed. The villagers of Church Fenton, near York, argue that HS2 will ‘decimate’ their rural community, leaving them with nothing more than an “urban island”. Meanwhile, the plans

for the Barnsley area have the route running straight through Park Side Farm, meaning Bryan Mason’s recently opened farm shop – along with his home – will have to be demolished. HS2 supporters will argue that an impact on the countryside is inevitable and understandable. Besides, did the very same thing not happen when the Victorians laid down the first railway tracks? Surely we must allow change to happen in order to build for the future? This said, the Victorian’s majestic railway constructions are today seen as sites of historical and cultural interest, enhancing the beauty of the

HIGH SPEED ‘FAIL’ LINK?

Photo: sypte.com

By Samuel Wilson

countryside. It is very hard to see even the most aesthetically pleasing of 21st century concrete viaducts being held in quite the same esteem one hundred years from now. Even if HS2 does succeed in ripping up the countryside, will the promised benefits be worth it? In some places journey times will be cut considerably. An hour will be shaved off travel times between London and Manchester, for instance. Pro-HS2 campaigners claim that this means that southern companies are likely to relocate to the north, giving cities like Leeds or Sheffield more economic potential than ever. This is all well and good, but is it not more likely that those in the north will simply jump on a high-speed train to London, thus making matters even worse? That is, of course, if anybody gets on at all. Critics argue that the HS2 trains will become little more than “a train for rich people”. Season tickets on high-speed services from London to Kent will currently give little change from £10,000, so how on earth will one afford to commute from Manchester? HS2 is expected to pull into stations in 2032, although, knowing British railways, it’ll probably be delayed.

By James Taylor By Dan Scott-Lintott r Market

and nvestinghisisteam all of about top psychology e cand o nin om particuists lar my fragile notepsyche. thatSome excessivewould snow say hasthis affected week the has markets shown me this to beweek. a manic depressive. But my Asanalysts the UKsay hasI just become constanteven colder, ly seek validation. people are The escaping last five days to warm,been have exotic a bitlocations; of a rollercoaster, International Consolidated including my most Airlines depressed Group day have of 2013 seized whilstthis managing opportunity to finish to whisk apeople above satisfying away, 6300. flying to the top upInbythe 7.01 midst per cent. of earnings Meanwhile, seajumping son, BT phoned on board in some to provide impressive the essentialrising results, travel5.6 insurance per centis off Admithe ral Group back of it. PLC Similarly who isBSkyB sailingrose ahead alan extra most 3.56.03 per cent, per cent. while AstraZeneca and As Shell students fell 2.24across per cent and the nation 1.69 per have cent respectively been distracted in light by mixed of snow, results. textbook The main providboost ers Pearson came at the end Group of thePLC weekhave with clearly been optimistic factory failing figures, to get increastheir attention, ing at their fastest as they’ve rates since dropped 2011. by 4.98 However, per cent. a This darkshortfall shadow due toover looms weather the city is surprising of London. market overlord Banking analystsBarclays everywhere, are beas their ing investigated powerful by the subsidiary, FSA as to Penguin,the whether normally draconianloves managethe snowy ment broke conditions. rules in 2008. In spite of theMr boost Market’s at the endadvice of the week, for the ramifications the week is ‘cheque’ of the pre-crisis out the weather years camebefore back to investing haunt the finanthis week; cial sector. a smart RBSbuy lostin over Stella six left per outside cent, showing couldthat lead the to naivety a very of chilled the few has celebration. affected the economic position of the many. I will not let them go unpunished.

@Aligrant_90 I’ve been fined so often by the library that I’m pretty sure it’s just me that’s single-handedly keeping this university going. # Libs @alasdairdrennan Apparently a Proclaimer was chilling outside sainsburys today @elyseh overheard outside Pollock: “yah I missed my sociology exam cause I was in Poland. Banter.” #standard

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‘Friendly,’ ‘sociable,’ and ‘bubbly’ were clear favourites of the candidates. It felt like I was watching live Big Brother auditions. ‘Friendly’ and ‘sociable’ were real safe bets. I mean, who would describe themselves as ‘unfriendly’? But I have an aversion to ‘bubbly.’ It reminds me of boozy, slightly overweight cackling women, who spend most of their time boasting about their ‘bubbliness’ without actually ever saying anything. I, somewhat idiotically, tried to be accurate and dominate the field with superior vocabulary (which wasn’t exactly hard): opting for “dynamic, independent and intense”.

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What they were really doing was raising an army to fight a brand war against the likes of Jack Wills or Ralph Lauren. Yet this would be fought on Moonshine Mondays at Castle, Vanity Thursdays at Opal and the preened courtyards of Pollock Halls” Next we were told about the Hollister ‘tag lines’. “At Hollister we have two tag lines,” began the interviewer in dreary monotone, “‘Hey, how’s it going?’ and ‘Hey, what’s up?’” Hollis-

ter are a creative bunch. The drone continued to speak from a script. “As part of the high Hollister standards, we expect each of our employees to say ‘Hey, how’s it going?’ or ‘Hey What’s up?’ giving each customer the same Hollister experience.” Ha. Of course each customer is going to get the same experience, because you are hiring an army of robotic clones. You weren’t even allowed to say “Are you alright there?” or “do you need some help?” No, that was strictly prohibited. It had to be tag line, followed by, “follow us on twitter”. They may as well have told us they were looking to hire androids, or walking talking mannequins, with the only human thought allowed being the brain-stretching decision of whether to say “Hey, how’s it going?” or “Hey, what’s up?”. Essentially, you’re not asking “Hey, how’s it going?” because you actually care, but because you are paid to do so. We were then required to say a tag line. I assumed this meant we could create a new one on the spot. I was wrong, very wrong. Of course, we were only allowed to say either “Hey, how’s it going?” or “Hey, what’s up?”. “We really want to see your personality come out from this,” said the in-

terviewer. Personality? The only way to convey anything in that sentence would be to say it so theatrically that you seem demented. Then it hit me. They were really just checking that you were not a malfunctioning robot and that you were ready to join the Hollister android army. One poor Spanish girl who didn’t quite grasp the process said, with a continental shrug, “Hey… how are you?”. The interviewers shook their head and most likely put a cross next to her name. Last, came the photo. Everyone sat nervously. Frantic hair rearrangements were made. The interviewer told each of us to stand under a bright light while they took one picture, and then they moved closer to take another, just to check they hadn’t missed any imperfections. “Now we want to see a big toothy grin from you,” said the interviewer. “I don’t do toothy grins,” I replied. He gave me a stern look. Okay, here goes. I made an uncomfortable grimace. “More teeth,” he said. “Sorry, what?”. “More TEETH,” I was clearly trying his patience. I then grimaced like I was taking an electric shock to the buttocks. Why all this torture for a smile? Because it is only the fake, pearly white, movie star smile that will do for Hollister.

THE EXPERIENCE nataliesophia

he interview at Hollister – a sister company of the Abercrombie and Fitch clothing brand – was truly a bizarre experience. I had said that I didn’t want the job, that it was merely an “engine of conformity that goes against everything I stand for.” But why then am I desperately flagging down a taxi to get to the interview? I’m sure the taxi driver was as bewildered as I was. It was also pretty embarrassing, as if you wanted to alienate a Scottish cabbie, saying (in a posh English accent) “Take me to Hollister please” is a pretty safe bet. Yet I had this sneaky feeling that a group interview with Hollister would be too good to miss. It started with the recruitment. Walking to a tutorial, hot soup in hand, I was abruptly stopped by a young man and woman. Cornering me against a wall they asked whether I’d be interested in working for Hollister. Let me see, what was responsible? My barber jacket – too posh? My hair – too neat? My shoes – too clean? Or am I just ridiculously good looking? Yet there it was. Undergoing such an external examination makes you instantly self-conscious. It all felt very strange, like I had been picked out for some kind of selective breeding program. What they were really doing was raising an army to fight a brand war against the likes of Jack Wills or Ralph Lauren. Yet this would be fought on Moonshine Mondays at Castle, Vanity Thursdays at Opal and the preened courtyards of Pollock Halls. The interviewees were huddled at the back of the store. These were my competitors, rivals in a new kind of Darwinian struggle. At this point, I found myself doing two very strange things. Firstly I gave them a wry, knowing nod as to say, “Greetings fellow chosen ones.” Then I started sizing up the competition, thinking, “Yep this lot should be no problem.” What was I doing? But I guess, when you know that you have been selected for your looks, you start judging everyone else on theirs. The fall into superficiality is inevitable. The interviewer began by making it clear that Hollister had a ‘strict anti-discrimination policy.’ This helps explain what followed: a hilarious attempt to make it seem that Hollister needed people with personality. First, we had to introduce ourselves. Sounds simple enough, if only it wasn’t accompanied by a ‘fun fact’: that common ‘ice-breaking’ method

which I think I am not alone in hating. I then proceeded to desperately search my life story for a worthy fact. I could go for some anatomical deformity like my webbed feet or my short, fat, tongue (the latter being particularly embarrassing). Or I could say that I was conceived in France, but detailed knowledge of where my parents christened my conception was perhaps in bad taste. Yet I was missing the point. The aim of this game is to simply play it safe and not to reveal any physical deformities or appear socially combustible. In the end, I just played it cool. Saying with a modest tone, ‘Well, its not very fun, but I sing in a band.’ Just listen to yourself, I thought. The reality is that it is almost impossible to resurface from any fun fact test unscathed. Obstacle number one was just about hurdled. Next came the task of summing yourself up in three whole words. What exactly was the point of this? Nobody can adequately describe their personality in three uncontextualised words. As long as didn’t sound mentally deranged then you could say what you liked and they wouldn’t have a clue whether it matched your personality.

kkilometer

By Jonny Ross-Tatam

len’s Vodka: the staple student drink. But would a glass of Glen’s be quite so tempting if a 70cl bottle set you back £15? The Alcohol Minimum Pricing Scotland Act was passed by Scottish Parliament in May last year and will set a minimum price of 50p per unit of alcohol, forcing ‘bargain’ price alcohol to be eradicated from supermarkets. The act is not yet in force because of legal challenges from the Scotch Whisky Association and a number of EU countries that are large exporters of wine to Scotland but is set to be implemented by this summer. The Scottish government have backed up the policy with projections of a 3.3 per cent fall in alcohol consumption, along with significant decreases in alcohol-related crime, hospital admissions and death over the next ten years. Young people are a key target of the initiative, which aims to delay the age that adolescents start drinking and reduce the volumes of alcohol that are perceived as ‘normal’ for young people to drink. As reported by BBC News, Scottish Health Secretary Nicola Sturgeon has predicted the act will have a “significant and historic impact” on Scotland’s alcohol abuse problem, which currently costs the country £3.56bn each year. She told parliament, “Tackling alcohol misuse is one of the most important public health challenges that we face in Scotland.” The act raises some interesting questions about how much control the state should have over lifestyle choices like alcohol consumption, or even how effective that control can be. A similar situation arose last year when smokers were faced with a 37p rise for a pack of cigarettes after an increase in tobacco duty in the 2012 Budget. Britain’s largest tobacco company, Imperial

Tobacco, warned, “[This] heavy-handed tobacco taxation policy will simply tempt more smokers to buy illicit tobacco products. The UK is already a key target market for criminal gangs of tobacco smugglers and counterfeiters.” Sure enough, Imperial Tobacco published statistics last week stating that as many as one in five cigarettes smoked in the UK is now bought on the black market. Like Imperial Tobacco, Scotland’s whisky industry is feeling threatened by a minimum pricing approach. The Scotch Whisky Association has taken legal action against the legislation, on the grounds that it is a breach of European Union trade rules and that it is an area of policy that can only be decided in Westminster. Chief executive Gavin Hewitt said, “We agree that Scotland must address the harmful use of alcohol, but policy needs to be targeted on the problem. Some 30 per cent of those who drink consume 80 per cent of the alcohol sold. Despite warnings that minimum pricing of alcohol would be illegal, the Scottish government has pressed ahead with its ill-targeted policy and misguided legislation.” Trade rules aside, the legislation might not be so ‘misguided’ after all. The Scottish government has based their policy on research conducted at the University of Sheffield which predicts that a 50p increase in price will produce a 5.5% cut in drinking and a total saving from alcohol-related harm of £64m after one year. The real benefits will be seen in the long term though, with 6,500 fewer hospital admissions and a cumulative saving of £942m after ten years being predicted. The data reported from Sheffield University is based on econometric models, but there is empirical evidence to back up the Scottish government’s claims too. A review of 112 case studies conducted at the University of Florida found that increasing alcohol pricing decreases the consumption of

NO MORE BARGAIN BOOZE? all types of alcohol. Heavy drinkers are affected the most and show a marked decrease in consumption, although when faced with a larger bill for their preferred beverage, tend to switch to a cheaper, less alcoholic version of the same beverage.

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The act raises some interesting questions about how much control the state should have over lifestyle choices”

Despite this volume of evidence in favour of alcohol legislation, there are actually only a handful of places in the world where a minimum alcohol price has been enforced. One of these is Saskatchewan, a Canadian prairie

PHOTO: SIMON COCKS

By Katy Sheen @KatySheen

province which is home to just over one million people. The 10 per cent increase in alcohol pricing, introduced in 2010, has resulted in an eight per cent fall in alcohol consumption on average, with beer sales being the most dramatically affected. Eric Appleby, Chief Executive of Alcohol Concern said, “This is yet more evidence of the clear link between alcohol behaviour and price which is why we’re fighting so hard for a 50p minimum unit price.” Following the introduction of minimum pricing, the same trend was observed in Saskatchewan as in the studies reviewed in Florida: consumers still purchased alcohol but preferred to buy less potent alcoholic drinks. This strengthens the case that the policy in Scotland will target the heaviest, most hazardous drinkers. As Katherine Brown, Director of Policy at the UK Institute of Alcohol Studies explains, “Minimum pricing is a relatively innovative mechanism which enables governments to target the strongest, cheapest drinks that cause the most problems in society.” However, trends in alcohol consumption may also be affected by social or economic factors: rates have been seen to fluctuate or drop in countries without any change in alcohol policy. In Italy between 1970 and 2000, wine consumption decreased significantly, a trend that has been attributed to an increase in urbanisation and

PHOTO: TOM BAYLY PHOTO: TOM BAYLY

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changes in family routine rather than alcohol policy or health awareness programmes, which were not introduced until more recently. On the other hand, economic development has led to increased alcohol consumption in countries in Southeast Asia where until relatively recently the majority of the population did not drink alcohol at all. In Scotland, the minimum pricing policy aims to reduce the binge drinking culture common in students and young people, but it is possible that the policy neglects other issues surrounding alcohol abuse. Samantha Dent, a third-year student at the University of Edinburgh, said: “Many of those who abuse alcohol to a serious extent will still find a way to afford it despite the raise, perhaps by cutting back on funds for food and other goods, because they have a problem that needs tackling at the source. They need more efficient support to stop them turning to drink to begin with, and that’s what the government should spend their time on, not punishing other consumers.” The real power of alcohol legislation in Scotland remains to be seen, but the evidence points towards this being a useful step in the battle against alcohol-related harm. The truth may be as hard to swallow as a swig of Glen’s, but perhaps financial incentives will be the cure for this nation’s love affair with alcohol.

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By Francesca Mitchell @francescaannlou

AT FACEBOOK VALUE

als, such as Bernadette John, digital professionalism and social media lead at King’s College London, are advising students – especially those on the hunt for graduate employment – to clean up their online presence ahead of applying for jobs. Prospective bosses are unlikely to approve of membership to misogynistic or politically incorrect groups, or online communities where members admit to sexual indiscretions.

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34 per cent of hiring managers had come acorss something online which caused them not to hire a candidate”

Equally, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that an employer probably won’t look too kindly on a profile picture which shows you passed out drunk outside the Hive on a Tuesday night. While incriminating evidence of nights out past may have seemed hilarious in first year, by fourth year it seems that there is an increasing trend towards destroying – or at the very least privatising – the evidence, lest an employer comes snooping. Indeed, John strongly recommends that students clean up their photo albums prior to sending out job applications, although she warns of over-sanitising your online presence to the extent of appearing “bland and characterless”.

That said, the prevailing advice is the most obvious: if we do not want employers to see something on our social media accounts, it is up to us to ensure that they cannot see it. The growing trend of pre-screening has triggered debate on several fronts. Perhaps the most recurring complaint is the unfairness of such tactics in professional recruitment. Several students interviewed have expressed concern that they will be judged by potential employers on aspects of their lives that are totally unconnected to their professional competency. One recent graduate commented that she thought it unfair that “potential employees could be discriminated against because they enjoy going out and having a social life in their free time.” Other students, however, question the significance of such pre-screenings, expressing disbelief that employers would genuinely discriminate between applicants on the basis of their activities outside of working hours. It seems undeniable that online profile screening presents clear ethical complications. The use of private social media accounts has been perceived by some as a gross violation of personal privacy, which should not be necessary in determining the suitability of a candidate for a professional role. However, the privacy settings on most social media sites do enable users to strictly control what is viewable

to the public and so what is visible to potential employers can be construed as the personal responsibility of the account holder.

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We can choose to exploit the opportunity to promote ourselves professionally, or to censor evidence of exploits past” That said, ethical concerns have abounded still further with reports of employers asking candidates for their passwords, or to log into their Facebook accounts during job interviews, thereby rendering even the strictest online privacy settings useless. In a recent article, Bernadette John described this as “a breach of … privacy and also a legal breach of Facebook’s own terms and conditions’ and noted that several US states have now actually legislated against this practice. The practice of employers asking for applicants’ passwords was also criticised by Facebook’s chief privacy officer, Erin Egan, who claimed, “We don’t think it’s the right thing to do.” Despite the ethical issues, the use of social media screen by employers is a reality of our time. With this in mind, it is worth considering the positive side of the connection between online presence and employment prospects. Just as social media can be used by employers to screen

out the sort of employees a company sees as undesirable, it equally presents opportunities for applicants to present themselves well. Careers advisors are keen to point out the potential benefits of using professional networking tools such as LinkedIn, which enables the user to build an online professional profile and CV. John recommends that students use Facebook to their advantage by liking groups that represent the brands they want to work for, observing discussions on their pages, and making thoughtful contributions to get themselves noticed. Twitter can also be used strategically, as employers may take note of who we’re following and take us seriously or lightly accordingly. Tweeting relevantly and insightfully can be an advantage, especially for careers in media and communications, but it is most certainly not confined to these areas. Whatever your opinion on the use of social media in employment practices, it seems that as long as social media sticks around, such background checks are probably here to stay. While the decision to employ sadly does not lie with us, we do still have some control over what the big bosses will be able to see. Whether we choose to exploit the opportunities to promote ourselves professionally, censor the evidence of exploits past, or simply to ignore human resources’ Big Brother is ultimately down to us.

Illustration: deviantart.net

s young people in the twenty-first century, it is a well-established fact that we seem virtually unable to survive without our daily – or indeed hourly – fix of social media. For many of us, Facebook is the chosen medium for coordinating social events, the evidence of which usually makes its way onto our newsfeed within a matter of hours. However, as social media reaches such an elevated status in every field from business communications to library-bound procrastination, debates about the appropriateness of its uses show no signs of abating. One of the most prominent discussions is the impact of social media accounts on our professional lives, and the question of recruiters pre-screening potential employees based on their online presence. Concerns are now frequently raised by students, careers advisors, and watchdogs alike about the significance of potentially incriminating social media accounts in damaging future career prospects. Current research does indeed suggest that employers do use Facebook profile checks to screen potential job candidates. Last year, a survey by Harris Interactive found that 37 per cent of employers use social media to research potential job candidates, with a further 11 per cent stating that they intended to begin such pre-screening in the future. Over 65 per cent of those currently checking up on potential employees reported using Facebook as their primary resource, demonstrating the extent to which our online profiles might be viewed and judged by those with some ability to influence our futures. Many of the employers surveyed purportedly used these searches to see if the applicant “presents him- or herself professionally”. Other reasons provided by recruiters included checking to see if the prospective employees would be a good fit with the company’s culture, and learning more about their qualifications. According to the report, 34 per cent of hiring managers had come across something which caused them not to hire a candidate. In almost half of these instances, the applicant was rejected for either posting a photo that was considered inappropriate or provocative, or making reference to excessive drinking or drug use. Other applications were discarded due to negative comments about former employers, false claims about qualifications, or simply for being unable to write well. In light of this, many profession-

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The perfect carbonara

ased on recent experiences I am beginning to think that there is somewhat of a crisis in the art of the Carbonara. Strings of spaghetti that sit limp in a sea of yellowish cream while a few slithers of tasteless bacon float on the top do not constitute a real Carbonara. Carbonara is a dish that has no room for error. It must be cooked in a certain way, using good-quality ingredients. Only then can you sit at the table, fork and spoon in hand and confidently say “buon appetito”. The following recipe is, in my view, the best way to get the most out of this dish. Ingredients: 150g Pancetta 3 Portobello Mushrooms 150g Parmesan 3 Eggs 2 White onions 1 Plump garlic clove, peeled 360g Linguine Chop the garlic and put into a hot pan with a generous glug of extra virgin olive oil (be sure to use extra virgin, the other stuff really just doesn’t cut it in this recipe). Before the garlic browns, throw in the two onions, finely chopped, and reduce the heat, softening the onions. While your sauce is bubbling away, bring a saucepan of water to the boil, adding a generous handful of salt. Beat the eggs in a bowl, seasoning with sea salt and black pepper. Chop the mushrooms and pancetta into strips. Lightly sauté the pancetta and once the fat begins to crisp, add the mushrooms. Add your linguine to the boiling water and cook for approximately 8 minutes. While the pasta cooks, add small quantities of the pasta water into your sauce (this will thicken it and make it delectably creamy). Drain the water and spoon your sauce into the pasta. While still hot, add the beaten eggs and mix everything together. Add a handful of grated Parmesan, a final touch of salt and pepper, and your perfect, quick and easy Carbonara is ready to eat. Buon appeitito. Ben Lebus

A home away from home? By Rosy Candlin

“

Manchester is not a place, it’s a state of mind”. These were the marginally conceited words ringing in my ear on my drive up to Edinburgh last September. Full of good intentions, my best friend from home thought it would help incase I got home sick. It didn’t, it just made me cringe, but when I was told that Liquid Rooms put on a ‘Madchester’ night once a month I thought the saying quite fitting. I might not be in Manchester but I would be in a Mancunian state of mind. Although dubious at first, some friends left their soft ‘a’s and ‘t’s in Pollock Halls and joined me in embracing what I intended to be a night of Manchester born music. I was embarrassingly excited. As soon as we arrived I looked for signs of home; I wasn’t expecting much, all I really wanted to do was dance like a loon to The Happy Mondays and dramatically air grab to Oasis. Yet, even my low expectations seemed grandiose when faced with reality. My first glimpse of Manchester hung pitifully above our heads. It was a floating lemon. Made iconic by The Stone Roses, I had never seen this familiar lemon looking so sad; 2D, cut from cardboard, dangling by thread

from the ceiling and printed onto faded t-shirts; it was more embarrassing than iconic. It had no zest. A lot livelier, however, was the middle-aged couple, totally in their element and single handedly filling the dance floor with their booze-fueled moves. Jealous of the fun the couple were clearly having, the three of us decided we needed a drink. We could, in fact, only afford ‘a’ drink. It would seem that shallow pockets and Snapfaxes aren’t in keeping with the ‘Madchester’ theme; or perhaps we weren’t their target audience. I think the latter is more likely to be the case. Born only a few months after myself in 1994, it was clear that ‘Madchester’ had acquired quite a following from these early days and so, for the first hour or so, we were the youngest in the room by at least ten years. Over half the people there looked as though they had come straight from their grown up jobs to relive wild nights from their youth; we looked completely out of place. Thankfully it picked up, the couple bringing back the robot on the dance floor was no longer alone, and the average age had significantly dropped. The lemon even looked less sad. Completely sober, and so relying wholly on the atmosphere in the crowd, we mouthed the words to “Fools Gold” to one another and forgot all about the disappointing first hour.

Image: Skiddle.com

ITALIAN CUCINA

Then, The Beatles came on, followed by the Arctic Monkeys. Looking around, with a face that would stop a bus, it seemed I was the only one who had noticed: neither band are from Manchester and a northern accent does not Mancunian music make. But as a slurred version of “There She Goes” grew louder and louder I decided it mattered less and less. People were really enjoying themselves and we got to dance like loons, which is all we really wanted in

the first place. So, whilst I definitely didn’t feel like I was back at home and we spent the night drinking through three straws in one glass to avoid extortion, it ended up being a really good night. Although it would better be described as a general North of England night, with those on the other side of the Mersey heavily represented, I will happily follow the advice of fellow Mancs when I say that that I can’t look back in anger.

they could kindly move away so that I could relieve myself. Shockingly they declined – people in Manchester have no sense of decorum – forcing me to make a trip to the toilets. I returned to the dance floor, steaming. Koreless was on at this point. He played mostly his own songs, which made for a good start to the night. I managed to find my girlfriend and Jane in the dense crowd but I must have looked a real state by this point because a bystander asked them if I was bothering them. Things only got messier. After Koreless finished, we made our way to another room, via the bar, where SBTRKT would be performing next. I got distracted by another group of girls and ended up being chaperoned away by my girlfriend after having apparently bothered them too. I reacted as any self-respecting man would, and ran off slurring loudly. I have to confess that there is a gap

in my memory after this point but I do remember that I really loved the second half of SBTRKT’s set. Three things then happened in quick succession. I realised that I had lost my hat, camera and cloakroom ticket sometime previously. My girlfriend, who had found me by this point, handed me a cigarette only to realise there was a bouncer right behind us. As I put it out in my palm – don’t try this, it hurts – Jane’s reaction to the situation was the best thing I heard all night: “ that’s not security, that’s just a guy with a torch looking for his friends”. As people emptied out, I caught a glimpse of the size of the venue. It is massive but not quite as massive as the queue for mini cabs outside. I spent a very cold half hour waiting in Manchester’s slush, drinking a very warm, spitty gift from a fellow raver. I would seriously recommend WHP but please, don’t take the pills.

A wild tale from the Warehouse By Nathan Bury

veryone I know who has been to Manchester’s Warehouse Project has given it pretty positive feedback. Being lucky enough to have an old friend in Manchester, ergo a free bed, I decided to head down for their first offering of 2013. The lineup seemed promising with both Koreless & SBTKRT playing, so, after a long train journey with my very hungover girlfriend and habitual third wheel, Jane, I was pretty excited to be in the ‘Rainy City’. It lived up to its name and pretty much the whole time I was there I was standing in an inch of freezing slush. We reached my friend’s house with about an hour and half to drink and collect our tickets. After watching a grown man struggle with a printer for about forty minutes, we printed our tickets and started drink-

ing. Not being blessed with any mixers, my bottle of rum vanished fairly quickly and by the time we got in the cab, I was about 75 cl heavier - This proved to be my downfall.

“

I reacted as any self-respecting man would, and ran off slurring loudly” Upon entering the venue – fittingly, a huge disused warehouse – we were handed a flyer, which warned that a batch of heart shaped pills were responsible for several recent fatalities. We headed to the bar, with a selection of an appropriately hip set of drinks. After ordering a Kronenburg, it seemed that everything I had drunk had decided to catch up with me - both bladder and brain. I felt compelled to ask the people standing next to me if

5th February2013 14 www.studentnewspaper.org

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CLIMATE CHANGE TO TAKE COFFEE OFF THE MENU?

pests and diseases arriving in an area pose a threat to plants which have not had time to evolve defences against them. Now that the magnitude of the problem has been brought to light, strategies can be devised for the future. To retain the genetic diversity of wild Arabica, a concerted conservation effort is needed. In areas at immediate risk, this could mean transferring and storing specimens, for example in live collections or seed banks. Areas with the potential to sustain wild Arabica until 2080 at least should be protected. The continuing issue of deforestation also needs to be addressed.

ove the smell of a hot cup of coffee in the morning? Can’t imagine surviving exam season without a continuous caffeine buzz? Then recent research conducted into the ability of wild Arabica coffee plants to deal with climate change could be worrying news for you. The demise of climate sensitive wild Arabica could lead to coffee becoming increasingly rare and expensive as this century progresses. Arabica coffee plants are native to Ethiopia. These wild plants are the parents of the crop grown in plantations across the world. Currently Arabica makes up 70 per cent

Photo: Mauroguanindi

Clarinda Burrell reflects on how rising temperatures are threatening your morning caffeine hit

of the world’s commercially grown coffee. The plants used for commercial growth have been bred to produce high yields of a uniform product, but they have an Achilles heel – as there is not much genetic diversity amongst them, diseases can spread very quickly, encountering little resistance. This is why preserving the wild ancestors of Arabica crop plants, with their far greater genetic diversity, is so important. Scientists from the Royal Botanic Gardens in Kew, London and the Environment and Coffee Forest Forum in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, used climate modelling to predict what the possible

effects of climate change could be on wild Arabica populations in Ethiopia.

“

The best case scenario predicted ... was a 65 per cent loss. For Ethiopia as a coffee producing nation this is a major blow”

One of the analytical methods they used gave an outcome of an almost 100 per cent loss of suitable habitat for wild Arabica by 2080. The best case scenario predicted using this approach was a 65 per cent loss. For Ethiopia as a coffee producing nation

this is a major blow, as many commercial plantations of Arabica in the country are grown in the same general area as the wild plants and so are also being affected by the changing climate. Climate models do have some flaws. In the case of this study it is possible that the true situation could actually be more worrying. For example, the predictions do not take into account human activity such as the reality of intense deforestation in Ethiopian highland forests, or some of the possible ‘knock-on’ effects of climate change like changes in bird or pest populations. Wild coffee plants rely on birds to disperse their seeds, and new

“

The scale of the predictions is certainly a cause for concern, but should be seen more as a baseline, from which we can more fully assess what actions are required” - Aaron Davis

Aaron Davis, Head of Coffee Research at the Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew, explained his viewpoint, “Coffee plays an important role in supporting livelihoods and generating income, and has become part of our modern society and culture. The extinction of Arabica coffee is a startling and worrying prospect. The scale of the predictions is certainly a cause for concern, but should be seen more as a baseline, from which we can more fully assess what actions are required.”

Could we bring back the Neanderthals? By Ada Kozlowska

re you willing to rent out your uterus for 9 months to a Neanderthal? This might sound like a bizarre sci-fi movie idea, but it is in fact the idea of a real scientist. Professor George Church from Harvard University has told Der Spiegel that he could recreate a Neanderthal baby, if he could find “an adventurous human female” to be a surrogate mother. The media went completely crazy, thinking that the Harvard geneticist is actually looking for a young woman to participate in the experiment. As he told the Boston Herald later, he did not mean to imply that he plans to carry out the project, only to attract society’s attention to the fact that it would be technically possible.

And if we really think about it, it is feasible. Neanderthals went extinct only 33,000 years ago and their fossils contain DNA samples in good condition. Professor Church said that he could incorporate chemically synthesized parts of the Neanderthal genome into human stem cells, grow an embryo and then implant it in a healthy female. It does sound a lot like a sick version of Jurassic Park, doesn’t it? And we all know how well that one turned out. Whether he meant it as a real job ad or just something to think about, the public really did not greet this idea with open arms. Of course the bigger question than ‘would it work?’ is in fact: ‘should we bother?’ Let’s say it did happen. What would happen to that hypothetical baby? Would a Neanderthal be considered human and given rights like

everyone else or would it be an ongoing experiment and property of Harvard University? There is no way to predict its mental abilities, including issues of language and functioning in the modern society.

“

Would a Neanderthal be considered human and given rights like everyone else or would it be an ongoing experiment and property of Harvard University?”

Professor Church argues that recreation of the whole Neanderthal culture is possible and could benefit the humankind as it would increase diversity. He claims that it could help us find a cure for diseases like cancer

and AIDS. Although this all sounds great and some of Neanderthal traits might be useful to us, we cannot forget about one simple thing: they did go extinct for a reason. Professor David Finnegan, head of the Cell Biology Institute at the University of Edinburgh, said: “If you had a Neanderthal man and a Neanderthal woman, which I do not believe would be possible, and certainly not either desirable or ethical, then one might end up with a very small population. The probability that re-creating Neanderthals could lead to an improvement in human health seems to me to be so small as to be effectively zero.” In other words, is it really desirable to go back in time to go forward? Professor Finnegan said: “Most people would agree that biodiversity is good and loss of biodiversity is bad. This might be an argument for rescuing a

species that has become extinct, but any benefit would have to be offset against the cost of doing so. It would be better to concentrate our efforts on preserving the biodiversity that we still have.”

“

The probability that recreating Neanderthals could lead to an improvement in human health seems to me to be so small as to be effectively zero” - Professor David Finnegan We can learn from history, but that doesn’t mean we should live in it. So why don’t we move on and focus on the real future rather than reviving ghosts of the past?

5th February 2013 15 www.studentnewspaper.org

Fast food: the new heroin? By Maithili Mehta

systems of rats on fatty liquid diets began to produce endocannabinoids – chemicals similar to those produced by marijuana use. If the evidence from rat studies isn’t convincing enough, then here’s some human food for thought: brain scans performed on children in Oregon who looked at pictures of chocolate milkshakes and later consumed the shakes suggest that just as drug abusers and alcoholics need increasingly larger doses to overcome their tolerance, so children who regularly eat icecreams or chocolate may require more and more of these energy-dense foods over time to satisfy the reward centres in their brains. Dr. Brownell, director of Yale University’s Rudd Centre for Food

Photo: Waferboard

he notion that food can be addictive, like cigarettes or alcohol, has long been debated, and for the better part snubbed by scientists. The premise for rejection: everyone eats. How can the label of ‘addictive’ be applied to that which supports life itself? Recent findings however have redefined the basis of this contested assertion, and it now transpires that although food in general cannot be deemed to be addictive, certain foods, especially those rich in fat and sugar, can be more addictive than others. Moreover, some foods, though highly palatable and not energy dense per se,

can become addictive after a restrictive/binge eating pattern. Actually, food addiction parallels drug addiction more closely than one would imagine. For one thing, both have been found to disrupt parts of the brain involved in pleasure and self-control. For another, denial of satiating food elicits similar withdrawal symptoms to drug deprivation. Researchers at the University of Princeton found that sugar-binging rats showed signs of opiate-like withdrawal when their sugar was taken away from them – chattering teeth, tremor in their paws, and shakes. When allowed unrestricted access to sugar again two weeks later, these rats consumed 20 per cent over their usual appetite. Moreover, scientists in Italy reported that the digestive

Could you resist? Even the humble chip could produce withdrawal symptoms and addictive behaviour

Policy and co-editor of Food and Addiction, claims that this has to do with the fact that while the human body is biologically adapted to deal with natural food, it cannot cope in the same way with heavily processed and highly calorific foods. She says, “We don’t abuse lettuce, turnips and oranges. But when a highly processed food is eaten, the body may go haywire. Nobody abuses corn as far as I know, but when you process it into Cheetos, what happens?” If verified, this is rather alarming, because it compels us to question the ethics of today’s multi-million pound fast-food industry: Is extremely palatable food (the kind manufactured by fast food outlets like McDonalds or KFC) bad for us? To what extent can we consider such food to be like a drug? Should access to such food be restricted? Can we succeed in combating the obesity epidemic by sticking to the gruel and avoiding high-energy food? However, before jumping into the bigger commercial picture, a more pressing and personal question for most would be: if I am indeed addicted to ice-cream, is there a way out? (I don’t want to get fat!) The good news is that there are coping strategies (which happen to be, ironically, similar to those used by drug addicts). Dr. Pamela Peeke, assistant professor at the University of Maryland said: “As heroin users might rely on methadone to alleviate withdrawal, food addicts should seek alternatives that still give pleasure — a fruit smoothie, for example, instead of ice cream.”

Why good pupils should doodle By Jennie Hockey @hockster91

hen the dreaded revision period comes around, the only pleasure I find in it is reliving the gallery of doodles made when I should have been studiously taking notes in lectures. So you can imagine my elation at reading a study which champions doodling as a memory aid. The study, by psychologist Jackie Andrade of the University of Plymouth, involved seeing what names participants could recall from a tedious voicemail message, and it found that those who were in the ‘doodling’ group remembered 29 per cent more

on average. According to Andrade it’s almost inevitable that people will daydream if they’re listening to something boring. Like, say, a lecture on the principles of molar calculations. Doodling is a way to concentrate the wandering part of our mind with a task that doesn’t interfere with memory, leaving you free to really remember the information you’re listening to.

“

Doodling is a way to concentrate the wandering part of our mind with a task that doesn’t interfere with memory”

Doodling and drawing in general has also been linked to an increase

in creative reasoning and hailed as an important component of teaching science in particular. A study by Shaaron Ainsworth of the University of Nottingham suggests that drawing concepts should be a practise encouraged by teachers and lecturers, rather than seen as a sign of distraction. Students were found to be more engaged if they recreated information pictorially. In fact, student Armando Hasudungan took this idea to a whole new level when he created a series of YouTube videos which explain important biological and biomedical concepts in the form of illustrated mind maps, which he narrates as he draws them. Doodling can also be the start of an illustrious career as Dan Lucas found out. He is the founder of

Lunchtime Doodles, a website selling products decorated with designs he came up with during meetings, some of which have even been picked up by House of Fraser as designs for a range of tote bags. So it would seem there’s money to be made from idle drawing.

“

Students were found to be more engaged if they recreated information pictorially”

So for any avid doodlers who need a defence of their pastime I would recommend giving Andrade’s study a read. I’d lend you my copy but it’s covered in pictures of dinosaurs. Obviously.

World Wetlands Day February 2

ow do you get people excited about wetlands? As I’m working on my honours dissertation on wetland restoration, I often find myself asking this question. Maybe it’s hundreds of thousands migratory birds congregating on the flooded plains, plants with roots breathing underwater or vegetation islands rising as water levels go up. If not, then mentioning alligators should do the trick, right? There are many types of wetlands: salt and freshwater marshes, peat bogs, fens, and sloughs, to name a few. What they all have in common, though, is the presence of water for at least some part of the year and vegetation adapted to flooding and oxygen-lacking soils. However, these are also some of the most degraded ecosystems in the world. Each year World Wetlands Day is celebrated on February 2, the anniversary of the Convention on Wetlands signed in 1971. The day is an opportunity to raise awareness of wetlands and their value. To put it simply – wetlands take care of the water. Essentially, they act as giant filters: the plants trap sediment and absorb all the nasty things flushing down the rivers, releasing much cleaner water into the oceans. Wetlands also play a very important role in flood prevention. Coastal wetlands buffer surging waters during the storms; much of the damage caused to New Orleans by Hurricane Katrina could have been prevented had the natural wetlands still been in place. Inland, they act as water storage units capable of holding large amounts of floodwaters, thus reducing flooding significantly. The UK government is spending over £2bn on flood defences to lessen the impacts of the floods that are becoming a greater threat each year. Hopefully some of this money will be allocated to wetland restoration and maintenance, thus providing natural flood management. Lastly, wetlands are known to play a role in mitigating climate change by storing and sequestering carbon. Yes, they are that badass! And if that’s not enough, don’t forget they are home to both hippos and carnivorous plants. - Kristina Simonaityte

Photo: Kelly Fike/USFWS

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By Alasdair MacLeod

ook at the wrists on show around campus, and sooner or later, you’re going to see a watch. Whether they’re metal or plastic, digital or analogue, there are those that swear by them, and those that scoff at them. Once upon a time, if you wanted to know the time, you would have to ask a policeman. If you were lucky, you might live within sight of a clocktower. If worst came to worst, you’d have to take a guess based on the height of the sun. Nowadays, things are different. Nowadays, the idea of bothering a constable of the law for something as trivial as the time of day is next to unthinkable. Nowadays, you’d be more likely to consult your mobile. Or your music player. Or your tablet. Or any number of the myriad digital oracles that make up our modern trappings. And yet, many people still wear watches. What role do they fit in today’s lifestyle? Are they a statement of fashionable nostalgia? For some, it’s a matter of tradition. One 4th year linguist told me that in his family, being given a watch is a tradition. Compared with computers

and phones that will likely be upgraded and forgotten in only a handful of years, a watch is something that can last for decades, even a lifetime, with careful maintenance. Others see wearing them as an unbreakable, but positive, habit. One 2nd year reported feeling naked without her swatch. “I even wear it to bed!” One of the most consistent answers I heard from watch-wearers was that wearing one was simply “more convenient” than pulling out a phone. In a lot of situations, whether sitting in a class or chatting with friends, using your phone just isn’t appropriate. Checking your watch for the time, even if not exactly polite at times, is much more acceptable. “Why fumble in your pockets when you can know the time like the back of your hand?”

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Nearly 70 thousand kickstarter users saw fit to help pledge over 10 million dollars on the Pebble” Taking the opposite approach to the nostalgia movement, there are those who want to make watches that are more relevant for today’s world. The forthcoming kickstarter

#hashtagreviews

WOULD YOU SWITCH YOUR SWATCH?

tional timepiece. Both projects were successfully kickstarted last year, but the fact that nearly 70 thousand kickstarter users saw fit to help pledge over 10 million dollars (ten times the required funding) on the Pebble, shows that many are expecting something more from their next watch. Are traditional watches already on their way to becoming obsolete as a way of telling the time? Only time will tell.

poster child, the Pebble smartwatch, aims to trade tradition for something closer to wearable computing. Fitted out with an e-paper screen, a hybrid of e-ink and traditional LCD, the watch runs for about a week between charges. This is far shorter than a traditional chronometer, sure, but a fair sight longer than most smartphones. The Pebble isn’t limited to purely displaying numbers. Interfacing with iOS and Android phones over blue-

tooth, the watch can also repeat text messages, e-mails or other metadata like the details of the song currently playing, on its screen. Pebble Technology promise an app ecosystem like that already found on the iTunes and Google Play app stores to allow users to further expand the functionality of their watches. Watches like the CST-01, on the other hand, employ modern technologies and a modern design, but aim to provide only the features of a tradi-

#dreamdiary

#sorryimnotsorry #FirstWorldProblems By Nina Seale @hirundonovus

By Alasdair Drennan @alasdairdrennan

This one is one of the many confession hashtags, to be used for guilty pleasures, unusual opinions and snide comments. Like our British habit to say “No offence” before a criticism, to soften the blow, #sorryimnotsorry is an excuse to justify saying something you usually wouldn’t – and sometimes shouldn’t. Some of the tweets seem to be enjoying the freedom of admitting certain things about themselves and revelling in it: “@Bgm701: Being in a fraternity and sorority is like being in high school #sorryimnotsorry”, “@rossco9876: Yes I’m completely obsessed with skulls, crosses, black & studs/spikes but that doesn’t mean I’m a goth #dick #sorryimnotsorry”. For some people it seems to be celebrating their identity “This is who I am no matter what you think and I won’t apologise for it” but some tweeters seem to be using it as a forum for bitchy comments and thoughts. Not the point.

An invention of late 2012, #ourgreatestyear, #FirstWorldProblems emerged as a way for well off Westerners to share their whimsical problems whilst highlighting that they’re perfectly aware that it’s by no stretch of the imagination. Examples include having cold arms because you’re only wearing a gilet; kindles running out of battery, and being forced to watch Made in Chelsea on 4oD because you were out on George Street on Monday so couldn’t watch it with the rest of the nation. There are two sides to the #FirstWorldProblem coin. Firstly it is a welcome reminder that in the face of economic meltdown and tuition fees, things aren’t actually all that bad. Conversely, the hashtag undermines the problems faced in the developing world. Forgetting your blackberry charger is a problem wherever you are. Morality aside, #FirstWorldProblems are more often than not hilarious and an asset to the twittersphere.

#followfriday

#honeybadger By Nina Seale @hirundonovus

By Alasdair MacLeod @las_air

Twitter is a generally happy place - tweets tend to be far more positive than Facebook posts and comments (although if you follow our esteemed editor @theswainviour, this may come as a surprise to you). #FollowFriday is simply another way to share the Twitter love by listing those you think are worthy of a follow. Every Friday, Twitter is awash with the hashtag #ff. To those unfamiliar with the trend, this is confusing and somewhat irritating – the nondescript and unexplained #ff is somewhat elitest – reserved for those ‘in the know’. To those that are familiar with the trend, it is equally annoying. Nobody actually follows people on the recommendation of a #ff - it’s become a way to digitally suck up to your idols, future employers, lovers and friend crushes. On the flip side, if you are looking to impress or get attention from your idols, future employers, friends, lovers or friend crushes; then #FollowFriday is the hashtag for you.

You may know of honey badgers from the infamous Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger YouTube sensation (if you haven’t seen it yet, go and watch it), but if you don’t, here’s an update: Honey badgers are one of the most aggressive ‘badass’ creatures in the wild. Saturday 2 February was Groundhog Day, but National Geographic’s Twitter was taken over by someone tweeting as Honey Badger, to claim the day as Honey Badger Day from the more docile groundhog. This caused a knock-on effect of users tweeting the hashtag #honeybadger retweeting the @Natgeo channel and quoting ‘Honey badger don’t care’ from the YouTube video. While it had the possibility to become a really amusing hashtag, it wasn’t shared enough to reach its full potential. However hashtags using animal narratives, even if it is just for comic purposes, could really be useful in raising the profile of more unusual animals and their conservation.

Have you ever had a dream so intense, so vivid, that you just had to tell everyone? Whether it was a terrifying nightmare, or a dream so peaceful you didn’t want to wake up, #dreamdiary is the virtual place to talk about it. It’s a hashtag that lets you share your nighttime adventures, and browse those of others. A quick look through recent search results for #dreamdiary is a journey to a fantastical world of borderline sanity and celebrity cameos, where the laws of nature do not apply. Dreams can be truly fascinating when they’re well (and concisely) told. They’re a wonderful window into what someone’s been thinking about recently, and what makes them tick. On the other hand, listening to a friend go on and on about their somnambulistic ramblings can be more than a little painful. This makes Twitter, with its signature 140 character limit, the perfect place for these kinds of monologues.

By Alasdair Drennan @alasdairdrennan

Photo: SWATCH & PEBBLE

5th February2013 17 www.studentnewspaper.org

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Dual Crossword No. 28 by Picus

CONCISE CLUES (same answers) Across 5 A time for pranks (5, 5, 3) 8 Short growth (beard) (7) 9 Imitate (5) 10 Basque terrorist group (3) 12 Lex talionis (informal) (3, 3, 3) 14 Puts up with (9) 16 Uncooked (3) 17 It’s on the target - just (5) 19 Type of cryptic clue (7) 21 Cloud nine territory (7, 6)

Down 1 German wife (4) 2 Demure, unassuming (6) 3 Down-hearted (4) 4 It counts the miles (8) 5 Votes that don’t count (11) 6 Crustacean with claws (7) 7 Female sailor (11) 11 Latin case (8) 13 Where actors perform (2, 5) 15 Cheap and nasty (5) 18 Circle (4) 20 Wander, explore (4)

The Chambers Dictionary (2008) is recommended. Comments to the editors are welcome, and will receive a reply from the compiler

Aquarius The cosmic rays from Exeter and Uttoxeter will energise you this week, sending you into a the distressing situation of being totally illuminated wherever you go. This has upsides and downsides. On the upside, you pull easily at the Big Cheese. On the downside, once you’re getting down to it your partner can’t focus due to the blinding light you’re emitting. Pisces Eat more. Trust me. Aries The changing tides of customers in Scotmid and Tesco reveal aspects of your personality you may not like. You

start doing things you claim to disagree with in everyday life, and this clashes with your career. You start to realise the generalised bullshit you thought you believed in is wrong. This is both liberating and soul-crushing, you now live a lie, but at least you realise it. Taurus You feel hyper at certain parts of the day. Don’t worry, it’s not a nasty new strain of norovirus, you’re being affected by my psychic shit-spouting. Professionals advise you stop taking my advice. I advise you find a blunt instrument, make a doctor’s appointment and do what comes naturally – let the power of the equinox flow through you. Gemini The decline in energy from the sun as

CRYPTIC CLUES

SOLUTIONS TO DUAL CROSSWORD NO. 27

Across 5 Frodo joins Sally and Pia in a frolic. Time for tricks (5, 5, 3) 8 British bustle desperately about for a bit of growth (7) 9 Character from La Bohème, the first to capture ape (5) 10 Terrorists, and when to expect them ? (3) 12 So tattle becomes tittle in retribution (3, 3, 3) 14 Bears eat lots, crunched without hesitation (9) 16 Inexperienced Rector takes a wife (3) 17 Target area exposed by Queen (5) 19 Reformed characters give gossip little weight (7) 21 Riotous hens have to hold ‘event’, here on cloud nine? (7, 6)

Across 1 REQUISITION re replaces ‘in’ of inquisition 7 GUERNSEY 2 definitions 8 KINK K follows kin 9 KHAN Hank* 10 REBELLED bell2 (qv) in deer* 12 UNSAFE safe (peter3 qv) after U, N (initials) 14 LOTION (not, oil)* 15 KRAKATOA “crack” + ‘a’ + toa(d) 16 PAIR 1 in par (cricket : golf) 17 MA’AM MA + MA (rev) 18 BOOB TUBE boob + Tube 19 YEAR OF GRACE year ‘of ‘ + grace (poise and beauty)

Down 1 Father has gold, and a wife in Hamburg (4) 2 I’m unassuming - in two ways ! (6) 3 Down-hearted apprentice has to stick around (4) 4 Frodo met Eratosthenes, measuring device in hand (8) 5 Converted Saint bets on neutral votes (11) 6 Crustacean for the pot - and from it ? (7) 7 Sailor May now chats without restraint (11) 11 Sailor delayed about four, in case ... (8) 13 Speculator enthralled by one treading the boards (2, 5) 15 Go round tree of very little worth (5) 18 Go round and telephone (4) 20 Wander over in a daze (4)

a result of Mr Burns building a device to block it out leaves you frustrated and angry. Fighting this feeling is impossible, it’s best you direct the anger to against something healthy, like EUSA’s lack of respect for free speech. Cancer This week an old stranger will walk into your life, tell you absolutely nothing, then leave. You will then wake up from your glue-sniffing-induced trance and realise everything, including this horoscope, was a dream. You will be two years old again, everything will be so clear and simultaneously so hazy. You cry. With ecstasy. You then wake up from your MDMA-fuelled nightmare to find you’ve pulled a pensioner and their fake teeth are on your chest. You wish you were still dreaming.

Down 1 ROUGH AND READY (greyhound, RADA)* 2 QURAN qu + ran 3 INSURGENT ruins* + ‘gent’ 4 IVY 2 definitions 5 INKBLOT Blink* + OT 6 NON-NEGOTIABLE (Ten go bail, none)* 11 BILLABONG bill + a bong (ref Waltzing Matilda) 13 ACK EMMA (B)ack + Emma 16 PITTA pit + ta 18 BRO Contained rhubarb roly-poly * = anagram of the preceding material

A BIT ABOUT CRYPTIC CLUES More on Connectors. Last week we saw Cryptic clues represented as formulae, with Ans as the definition. Ans. = a + b etc OR a + b etc = Ans. We also saw that for some clues the surface meaning flows of its own accord, but for others the compiler has to add a bit of WD40 (a Connector) to help the flow along. Skin medication not mixed with oil LOTION Second-rate artist on ship makes money BRASS The first clue flows without help, but if you remove the Connector (makes) from the second one, the surface reading goes phut. Money made by second-rate artist on ship BRASS Leo Trademark bravery is not becoming of you this week, you join the Scientologists on North Bridge, then instantly regret the decision. You are now fair game. Good luck. #TomCruiseCominAtcha Virgo The last month has not been This week will be the start of a recovery for you. I’d recommend you celebrate by getting absolutely noshed and self-harming. Libra This is the start of a massive turnaround for you. The movement of the starts has blocked powerful ‘zomg-radiation’, which influences positivity and self-power, for months. You’re now open to the energy and as such you’ll

Same clue, same answer but reversed from an = Ans format to Ans =, with a Connector (but of a different sort). Ans = clues have Connectors such as: from, made by, coming from, of (consisting of), is, in, and, with etc = Ans clues have: for, provide, supply, make, come to, is , in, and (but not with) etc. Fool portrayed in a new edition of L Doone NOODLE Google endlessly processed supplies Russian author GOGOL If you find a from (Ans =) type of Connector in a clue, the definition is at the beginning. Find a for (= Ans) type, and it’s at the end of the clue. But be wary. In the next clue make may look like a Connector, but it’s part of the definition. Drug kings make a mistake

ERR

open to a lot of new exciting things. You are going to start having parmesan on your salad at Bella Italia. You go Glen Coco! Scorpio Nothing of any note happens. For this week, your life is totally up to you. Soz. Sagittarius The stars move. You might die. Capricorn I don’t even know. I’ve been talking shit since I was about 14 and recently someone started paying me. I’m out of inspiration and ideas. I hate the world and everyone around me, life is a horrid joke. I’m done with all this crap. But if I just end it all now that’s still better than continuing to live. I love you Judy.

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On censorship and the freedom of the press

s readers may have noticed, the semester’s first issue of the Student which should have been published on the 22nd of January was never distributed. Writers and other contributors to the newspaper who attend our weekly meetings may even know that the reason for this was due to legal action being taken against us. Unfortunately, due to these legal restrictions, we are very limited as to what we can and cannot reveal about this situation. However, we feel that as a student media outlet and one which feels keenly its obligation to inform the student population of this university as a whole we cannot ignore the circumstances in which we have found ourselves. The front page article of this edition contains as much of the facts as we are able to communicate at this point in time, and to that we would like to add our utter shock and deep distress that EUSA would decide to take such extreme action

as censoring a society of its own university – the very people they are elected to protect. As a student newspaper we consider our job to be both to represent the views of the student population and to act as a mouthpiece for their concerns, as well as to inform and educate them about issues which we believe to be important and relevant to their lives. This is the job of any newspaper, and of any arm of the press, which is an established pillar of government; its freedom is an important pre-requisite for a civilised society. Although we cannot divulge any details of the article which EUSA took action against, we can reveal that we believe that the information disclosed within was of vital concern to students of this university and contained information which it is in their interest to know. It deeply saddens us that EUSA would rather spend valuable time and money on suppressing the voice of the students

and stifling the freedom of the press than allow information which we are convinced every student has a right to know to come to light. As a newspaper and as concerned students we feel as though our responsibility to represent and uphold the truth is being inhibited. We consider this to be an issue not just of concern to the Student and other student media, but to every student of this university. It is not just us as a newspaper who have been gagged in this situation; it is every student at this university. We are all being prevented from representing the truth; we are all being prevented from exercising our right to free speech; we are all being prevented from knowing the full truth. We are outraged – we hope you are too. On another note, we end our editorial term this week and though we wish to have ended on a much more jovial occasion, we have generally enjoyed it. - Nina and Daniel

as University Chancellor, 29th January), almost I was surprised to read two years after the event. in last week’s issue of The Whilst the motions’ proStudent that EUSA are ob- posers have a point about jecting to the Princess Roy- the University’s failure to al’s election as university advertise the vacancy, it chancellor (EUSA motions does the Association’s repto reject Princess Anne utation no good to wait so

long to make it. To the best of my recollection, EUSA made no formal objection to the appointment at the time, and it was only due to the objections of the then former EUSA sab Peter McColl and The Student’s report-

Letter to the Editor Dear Sir,

Editors Daniel Swain & Nina Bicket Design editors Ben Shmulevitch & Christopher Sladdin News Alistair Grant & Thurston Smalley Comment Yasmin Morgan-Griffifths, Stephen Maughan & Charlotte Ryan Features Cameron Taylor, Francesca Mitchell & Rona Broadhead Lifestyle Katherine Nugent & Marissa Trew Science & Environment Nina Seale & Katy Sheen Technology Alasdair MacLeod Crosswords John Wakely Culture Troy Holmes, Madeleine Ash & Lene Korseberg Music Stuart Iversen & Emmett Cruddas Film Dan Scott Lintott & Sally Pugh TV Jack ‘Muzzah’ Murray Sport Piers Barber & Phil Smith Head of illustration Jalen Vasquez Photo editor Elizabeth Doucette Commission Sarah Burch

“

The very word “secrecy” is repugnant in a free and open society; and we are as a people inherently and historically opposed to secret societies, to secret oaths and to secret proceedings. We decided long ago that the dangers of excessive and unwarranted concealment of pertinent facts far outweighed the dangers which are cited to justify it” - President John F. Kennedy News 1-5 Comment 7-10 Features 11-13 Lifestyle 15 Science & Environment 16-18 Culture, Music, Film & TV 22-30 Sport 31-32

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2013

CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED GREIEVANCE PANEL: SACK VPS MAX CREMA FOR “GROSS MISCONDUCT” Documents obtained by the Student reveal that a grievance committee advised EUSA President James McAsh to terminate Vice President Services Max Crema’s employment in October after a string of disciplinary incidents rendered his position “untenable”, yet Crema remains in his post

By Alistair Grant and Thurston Smalley News Editors

The panel from a grievance hearing in October recommended that Max Crema, Edinburgh University Students’ Association (EUSA) Vice President Services (VPS), be sacked from his position following his publication of a blog post that made allegations of sexual harassment and mismanagement during the 2012 Edinburgh Festival Fringe. Documents and transcripts leaked to the Student revealed that the panel found Max Crema’s position as VPS “untenable”, and further recommended “that a disciplinary case has been made and should be brought against Max Crema, on the grounds of Gross Misconduct.”

Page 11

As of January 2013, Crema retains his position on an annual salary of £22,000. Following an earlier suspension for tweeting inappropriate remarks against EUSA employees, Crema published a blog post by an anonymous Fringe employee on his official VPS blog. The post, entitled “Why We Spit In Your Drinks”, alleged an unsafe working environment across unspecified Fringe venues, with sexual harassment and lack of management action against it being the main focus of complaint. According to the transcripts, the post was online from the 18 to the 21 of August, when it was taken down on the counsel of EUSA President James McAsh. The post received around 700 hits over the four days it was online, with Crema also tweeting it to his 600 followers. It was further circulat-

FEATURE: IN GUNS WE TRUST

ed by EUSA managers among their staff members. An informal meeting between EUSA managers Tommy Dolan and Sam Mason, Senior Team Leader Lauren Wellock, EUSA HR, and EUSA President James McAsh reached the decision that action be taken against Crema, with a formal grievance filed and a letter sent to the board of trustees. Within 36 hours, 102 complainants signed the grievance against Crema, citing the content of the blog post as erroneous, offensive and potentially damaging for the reputation of EUSA, its relationship with business partners and the future employment of its staff. Two hearings were held on 17 October 2012 in response to the formal complaint: one between the grievance panel and the representatives of the aggrieved, Lauren Wel-

Page 17

RENEWABLE BY 2020?

ing of them (Former EUSA Sabbs attack appointment of Princess Royal as university chancellor, 2nd May 2011) that the matter was publicized at all. If the motive for the motions was borne solely from a principled objection

lock, Ali Johnstone and Ian Buerger, and the other between the panel and Max Crema. During the first hearing, Lauren Wellock said of the blog post, “It brings into question his [Crema’s] capability in his role, if he chose to post something without thinking of the consequences.” Ali Johnstone added, “Without realising, even in retrospect, that it was a poor choice, which is the impression I get from his [Crema’s] transcript, I don’t see that as someone who can make good decisions, I don’t see the responsible person.” At one point during the meeting, representative of the aggrieved Ian Buerger said of Crema, “In parliament, if someone loses confidence, they resign. We have 300 student staff during the festival, in a very short notice, I think it was 36 hours, we got a third of them to sign

the grievance saying that we wholeheartedly disagree with what he has written. I think that speaks volumes about how little regard student staff have for Max after this post, about how much they disagree with what he’s done.” The representatives called into question the character of the EUSA venue employee they believed to have written the post, calling the post “self-righteous”, and saying the writer was of the attitude that he or she was “protecting other people who came to ask for my help”. In addition to this, Ali Johnstone called attention to Crema’s perceived lack of contrition over the blog post. The second hearing saw Crema defend himself over a period of an hour and fifteen minutes.

Continued on Page 3 »

Page 28

DJANGO UNCHAINED REVIEW

to the manner of the chancellor’s election, one wonders why it has taken this long to propose them. Dan Heap Former editor-in-chief, The Student

Jobs: The Student is always looking for budding reporters, reviewers, illustrators and photographers to join us. We’re also hunting for recruits in our production and advertising departments. If you’re interested, why not attend one of our weekly meetings or socials? Our weekly meeting is held every Tuesday in the Teviot Debating Hall at 1.15pm and our weekly social is held every Tuesday in the Teviot Loft Bar from 8.15pm. History: The Student was launched by Scottish novelist and poet Robert Louis Stevenson in 1887 as an independent voice for Edinburgh’s literati. It is Britain’s oldest student newspaper and is an independent publication, reaching more than 10,000 University of Edinburgh students every week. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Lord Kitchener, David Lloyd George and Winston Churchill are a few of the famous people who have been associated with the paper. In the early 1970s, Gordon Brown worked as a news editor and diary columnist, working alongside Robin Cook who, at the time, was responsible for film and concert reviews.

Disclaimer: The Student welcomes letters for publication. The editors do, however, reserve the right to edit or modify letters for clarity. Anonymous letters will not be printed but names will be witheld on request. The letters printed are the opinions of individuals outwith The Student and do not represent the views of the editors or the paper as a whole.

Head copy editor Melissa Geere Copy editors Lucy Mertekis, Elinor Smith, Lindsay Thomson, & Charlotte Wagenaar Advertising Matt McDonald, Rachel Barkey & Kirsten Weir | Distribution James Wood | Marketing Dan Scott Lintott | Social Media Kelly Meulenberg Secretary Rebecca O’Doherty | Treasurer Katy Sheen | Social Secretary Thomas ‘Aussie Tom’ Grant

Student Newspaper, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJ. Tel: 0131 650 9189. The Student lists links to third party websites but does not endorse them or guarantee their authenticity or accuracy. © The Student Newspaper Society. All rights reserved. No section in whole or part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmited in any form or by any means electonic, mechanical photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission of the publisher. The Student is published by the Student Newspaper Society, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJ. Distributed by RJM Courisers, 3 John Muir Place, Dunbar, EH42 1GD. Tel: 01368 860 115. Printed by Print and Digital Associates, 01332 896525, on Monday, February 4th, 2013. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

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The Rise of the British Female Author By Lene Korseberg @LeneKorseberg

Folly and Landscape

The Collective Gallery By Eve Stotesbury

s part of the New Work Scotland Programme, the Collective Gallery is currently showcasing a solo exhibition of diverse artist Andy Holden’s recent work. This exhibition, Folly and Landscape, focuses on the relationship between personal anecdotes, material experiments, storytelling and natural history. Holden’s material experiments take up the majority of the Collective’s exhibition space, consisting of colourful plaster beer-bottle sculptures, paintings, wooden structures and video footage. You definitely see enough variety of media to get a feel for the vast outputs of Holden’s interests and ideas. In the work entitled “Boulder Films” we experience his work in a real landscape setting, which is arguably the most exciting exhibit, with

www.telegraph.co.uk

here are many things to be said about literature in 2012: the Kindle firmly established itself as the constant companion of any self-respecting reader, self-publishing became mainstream, and erotic fiction took on the role as the new conversation starter in any social setting. However, if we have a closer look at the list of major publications in 2012, one question springs to mind: What do E.L James, Hilary Mantel, J.K Rowling, Kate Mosse, and Julia Donaldson have in common? Answer: They are all women and they all dominated the publishing scene in 2012. Let’s start with E.L James, the creator of what has been officially crowned the bestselling book in British history, 50 Shades of Grey. Just the numbers alone would be enough to back up the claim that she is the ultimate literary queen of 2012, but there is more to the series than that. The novels have more or less single-handedly made erotic fiction mainstream, not to mention the boost that they’ve given to paperbacks generally.

Hilary Mantel: Winner of the 2012 Man Booker Prize and the Costa Awards for Bring Up the Bodies Ironically, when 50 Shades of Grey became the bestselling book in British history, James knocked an-

other dominating female writer of the stage: J.K. Rowling. Whether 2012 has been a good year for the author or

more life, movement and colour than the static sculptures and paintings in Gallery One. In “Boulder Films”, we see how people and the natural environment respond to his large sculpture which explores the concept of landscape.

inet alongside a 50 minute film of a performance titled “Lecture on Nesting”. Though learning how birds build their nests was of interest and links to Holden’s sculptures in terms of construction, it was unexpected to enter a gallery to watch a nature programme.

“

[“Boulder Films”] is an example of Holden’s interest in the link between narrative and meaning, with objects and places apparent as a theme throughout the exhibition”

This piece is an example of Holden’s interest in the link between narrative and meaning, with objects and places apparent as a theme throughout the exhibition. “Boulder Films” is successful in giving his work context and the viewer an impression of the large scale of his work that would not otherwise be apparent in the exhibition. Seeing this work in a different environment gives it a sense of freedom, in contrast to the work enclosed within the tight walls of the Collective Gallery setting. The Project Room is a curious collection of bird nests in a glass cab-

However, Holden cleverly uses the birds as a symbol, tying together all the different elements of his practice. He explores the notion of how we establish a place in the world using the objects that surround us, creating meaning through mental and physical manipulation, just as birds use their environment. If you have a passion for ornithology then this is the exhibition for you. Some exhibits are only visible from street view. However, these exhibits are the least exciting, so don’t be put off, go in and give this exhibition some of your time.

the Harry Potter series can be debated, however, it hasn’t been lacking in publicity and expectations. With the

A Midsummer Night’s Dream King’s Theatre Run ended By Laura Harwood @Laurajharwood

he 100th anniversary of Benjamin Britten’s birth witnesses the collaboration of the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland and Scottish Opera in an awe-inspiring revival of Olivia Fuchs’ 2005 production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. As Britten’s only Shakespeare opera, he was keen to adhere as closely as possible to the original text, with only a few lines being substantially altered. In order to avoid an excessively long opera, however, Britten and his partner Peter Pears decided to cut the entire first act, set in Athens. By removing Shakespeare’s device of framing the play within two ‘real world’ scenes, the audience is immediately immersed in fairyland. This atmosphere was brilliantly conveyed by the

release of her first ever all-adult novel, The Casual Vacancy, the world got to witness a publishing event colossal in scale and a media hysteria seldom matched in the book world. In terms of awards and recognition, 2012 cannot be summed up without mentioning Hilary Mantel. As the first woman and first Brit ever to win the Man Booker Prize twice, one would think that the author of Wolf Hall and Bring Up the Bodies had got her share of fame and glory. But no – as the new year came about, she confirmed her place amongst the great authors of the year by winning the 2012 Costa Novel Award for Bring Up the Bodies. Rarely has an author been so universally praised in such a short amount of time. This trend probably shouldn’t come as a surprise. However, it sort of does at first glance. Should we, in 2013, still be surprised when women start emerging to a greater degree in further aspects of cultural life? Probably not. Regardless of this, all of the female writers mentioned above have undoubtedly helped push the boundaries in their respective genres and in that sense helped make the world of literature just a little bit better.

ethereal voices of the fairy children in white pyjama suits, holding glow balls. High drama is unleashed when the magically evolving love triangle of mortals emerges, along with hilarious moments of farce in the form of the rehearsing rustics. Puck takes an interesting role in this production, as a speaking acrobat as opposed to a singer. Played by Jami Reid-Quarrell, his circus-like rope work adds dynamism to otherwise potentially static scenes. Strip lighting and projected imagery work to make the set somewhat like a contemporary art gallery. This minimalism however seems almost necessary alongside the fusion of Shakespeare’s language and Britten’s discordant harmonies. The standard of singing is exceptional. Tytania, played by lead soprano Elinor Rolfe Johnson, a student at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland commented on her opportunity to perform in this opera, “Our relationship with Scottish Opera is unique, there is nowhere else in the country where students have the opportunity to work as a professional in a professional company as part of your studies.” A praiseworthy production indeed.

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Tonight won’t be just any night

ROYGBIV

This week’s cultural spectrum: The art of white space By Troy Holmes @TroyHolmes1

By Laura Harwood @laurajharwood

rom the stirring opening scene to the final draw of the curtain, West Side Story was truly enrapturing. The production team exercised great attention to detail in setting the mood for this well known adaptation of Shakespeare’s classic Romeo and Juliet. Upon entering the theatre, mist can be seen rising from behind the rusted, wiry staircases, accurately reflecting the infamous tenement blocks of New York City during the 1950s; even the musical director (Dan Glover) was dressed in the popular flannel checked jacket of the era.

The convincing characterisation within the show is perhaps one of its greatest assets. Supported by a delightfully strong ensemble, actors Alex Poole (Bernardo) and Frank Derrington (Riff), frontmen for the two rival gangs dubbed the Sharks and the Jets, respectively, controlled the stage with a robust charisma. Poole truly embodies his character with every word, bearing a suave yet resilient undertone, while Derrington gains the audience’s favour through his spirited and almost mischievous

David monteith-hodge

“

Aside from the electric and musically inspired “Cool”, the number “Officer Krupke” was a brilliant display of physical comedy”

portrayal of the gang leader who values, above all, a sense of brotherhood. Principal cast member Michael Sawaryn (Tony) is ideally cast as his clear animated voice and engaging facial expressions produce a certain boyish charm. Additionally, Sawaryn’s love interest Claire Saunders (Maria) has a sweet, airy vibrato and conducts herself with a spritely animation making her endearing to watch; although both Saunders and Sawaryn were at times notably winded. Conceivably, the most powerful display of acting and vocals was shown by Jess Barker who plays Saunders’s best friend, An-

ita. Barker’s fiery sarcasm and emotional authenticity rendered her a commanding presence on stage.

“

From the stirring opening to the final draw of the curtain, West Side Story was truly enrapturing” On the whole, the dancing was very well polished and although some of the balletic lines were a bit subdued, the dynamic energy of the cast, sharp timing, and synchronised for-

mations invigorated the stage, making the dancing a considerably impressive component of the performance. Choreographer Aniela Piasecka was creative in weaving elements of Jerome Robbins’s original choreography within that of her own. Aside from the electric and musically inspired piece “Cool”, the number “Officer Krupke” was a brilliant display of physical comedy. Overall, Edinburgh University Footlights’ production of West Side Story was a vastly entertaining and lively performance that I would recommend viewing.

THIS WEEK’S POETRY DOCTOR with Isabella Flanders

It is commonly believed that an atmosphere of chaos is not conducive to an efficient modern life. After all it is impossible to keep one’s mind on higher things in a gloomy room with

cold armpits and a throbbing toe. Yet discomfort is good for the psyche (that’s why people love camping). I found it very discomforting to read Edwin Morgan’s “Message Clear”; a cryptic jumble of letters across the page, sprinkled with white spaces. Though the letters used don’t change, their arrangement dances all over the place, each line spelling out a new connection. Without messing with the eyes, these messages would never become evident. Your chaotic existence might allow you to make beneficial associations between unconnected areas of your life and think more innovatively. If you don’t have time to fix everything, my practical advice would

Look oot for...

be: just fix one thing. You’re far more likely to appreciate dry feet if all your other clothes and possessions are falling apart at the seams. Nobody likes people to be too perfect, as Robert Herrick observes in “Delight in Disorder”. To him, the contrast of “A careless shoe-string” sets off an outfit far more than a perfectly arranged petticoat. What a relief for you: someone will fancy you even if your armpits are showing. Got a problem? We can cure you! All problems will be treated confidentially. And ever so seriously. Email us at poetrydoctor.studentnewspaper@ gmail. com.

D alasdair drennan

Dear Poetry Doctor, The screen on my phone is smashed, my favourite Johnny Depp mug is chipped, my bag strap is so worn down it is giving me a blister, our flat intercom won’t buzz people in, the lightbulb in my room needs to be replaced, my boots let in water, my cosiest jumper has holes in the armpits, and my toe is suppurating after I stubbed it on a pile of overdue library books. How do I deal with all this on top of my more substantial problems?

wo weeks ago, my fellow Sculpture students and I held an exhibition in a pub on Grassmarket. In many ways, it went remarkably well. Crowds filled the somewhat cramped space, drinks flowed and people seemed to be enjoying the art. But there were a few drawbacks: my piece fell apart halfway through the exhibition (never a good sign), another was knocked over by a few slightly more inebriated visitors and several people tripped over one piece which involved the artist lying in a body bag. I concluded that perhaps a pub was not necessarily the perfect place for an exhibition. It got me thinking about exhibiting work within different contexts. Both white and black cubes (a white cube gallery being exactly what it says on the tin and black cube designed as such in the advent of video art/installation) now have contexts of their own, making it almost impossible to remove art from its environment. The white cube is such a contested concept that it has its own history and baggage and, arguably, no space can ever completely eliminate social, economic or political contexts. Perhaps we were onto something in the pub. The idea of creating art that belongs in a certain context or moving its location has been explored by artists for years. Social space and so-called ‘relational’ art has paved the way for interaction between the art and the viewer. But then why do so many galleries still revert to the white cube when displaying artwork? Why not try your living room, the meadows, the library, ceilings, shops, cafes, the skies and beyond. Nowhere is off limits when it comes to art.

on’t miss the last few days of Expensive Space, a final year intermedia show at the Whitespace Gallery on Gayfield Square, which showcases fresh new talent from ECA. Ends Thursday 7 February. National Libraries Day is on Saturday 9 February, which celebrates libraries across country by holding interactive events. The National Library on George IV bridge will be taking visitors behind the scenes with 45 minute tours. If you’ve always wanted to get to know this expansive library better, than this is your chance.

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Republics of the Mind

James Robertson (2012) Black and White Publishing By Amrita Bakhshi

One Day/Concerto for mouth and four others Summerhall until 22 February

By Andrea Yew

n One Day, Philippe Broutin confronts the moment of his own death and explores his own reactions to it. In an almost theatrical display, the audience is invited into the exhibition by passing through a series of curtains that read, “One day, I will be dead, and you will be around me.” The audience is taken on a journey through Broutin’s death, guided by a narrative as he states, “I will not see you. I will not hear you. I will not smell you. I will not have the taste of your lips”, until at last we look upon his death mask in the center of the room. Reminiscent of a funeral service, we gaze upon Broutin’s death mask, every detail captured from the stubble on his chin to the soft lines of his face, a momento mori of Broutin’s own unflinching confrontation of his death and a reminder of our own mortality. The stark white walls upon

Photo: http://www.newsrt.co.uk

sense of melancholia permeates the pages of James Robertsons’ latest offering to the public and there is something sweetly sad about the various stories scattered about in this collection. Being an alumnus of the University of Edinburgh, Robertson evokes a Scotland that is both familiar and alien; it is familiar with all the reassuring parallels that may be drawn from it and different because the stories pull apart the fabric of everyday life and confront the reader with what lies beneath the surface. Robertson is a master of using the simplest words to build anticipation throughout his stories, before finally hitting the reader in the face with a

Republics of the Mind: Robertson’s new short story collection

“

Words spill accross the pages in random abandon, a bit like in the story ‘The Dictonary’, where the protagonist loses control of the words in his life and in his head”

sledgehammer at the very end. There is an effortless weaving together of language that comes out in lines

like, “She was careful, but she didn’t care.” Words spill across the pages in random abandon, a bit like in the

which his narrative is mounted drives home the finality and bleakness of death. Death and mortality have always had an unmistakable place in art. In his exhibition, Broutin toys with the notion of immortalisation through art as he takes this idea a step further by eternalising his death as art; death is as much a part of life as it is an end to it. The idea of a living artist portraying his own death may seem a strange idea to begin with. However, Broutin is very much aware of his position and uses it to speak to us whilst he is still able to. In a sense, he gains control over a process he has absolutely no control over.

Fish Change Direction in Cold Weather

“

For such a macabre subject, the exhibition is beautifully presented and evokes a sense of serenity and even a certain romance”

For such a macabre subject, the exhibition is beautifully presented and evokes a sense of serenity and even a certain romance, suggesting Broutin’s acceptance of his inevitable end. As a man who furiously dedicated his entire life to art, it seems apt and wonderfully poetic that he dedicates his death to it too.

Pierre Szalowski (2012) Canongate Books Ltd By Kat Moir

catchy and intriguing title? Check. A shiny front cover? Check. Overall, the book itself cannot but get one big check from anyone who is fortunate enough to read it. Szalowski’s novel follows the story of the Great Canadian Ice Storm of 1998; taking the lives of nine neighbours and showing us just how powerful weather can be. More important than the physical damage the storm causes, Szalowski examines the change that occurs in each of his characters as the storm forces them to open up to one another and realise their own potential. When an eleven-year-old boy prays to the skies to help his struggling family, he doesn’t expect the ice storm that arrives the next morning. As he sees the destruction all around him he puts the blame on himself and is hurt by the fact that while others seem to

story, “The Dictionary”, in which the protagonist loses control of the words in his life and in his head. It is a fear that many of us share and that is what elevates Robertson from the ranks of good authors to the great ones. He recognises and highlights the demons and fears of the human condition and is especially good at bringing them to fruition with ink and paper. It is this mingling of the esoteric and the mundane that makes Robertson so very unique. This is well illustrated in the story “Pretending to Sleep”: it shows the reader what lies behind the normal facades of life, leaving behind a lingering, ominous warning. Escapism finds a new meaning in the stories told in Republics of the Mind; there is a bridging of reality and what may be. The special thing about Robertson is that he makes his readers hold their breath while waiting for something unknown – much like the protagonists of most of his stories. A beautiful simplicity of prose melds with a deep vision to create a collection that takes the reader on a hitchhiking journey and leaves them wondering, “What’s it about, then?”.

be healing, his family is falling apart faster than ever. Over the five days the storm rages his neighbours begin to appreciate and accept one another – the gay couple comes out, the stripper finds real love, the troubled child mends his relationship with his father and learns the truth about his past, and the fish really do really change direction. The interlocking stories prove this author’s point; that we can’t live our lives by ourselves.

“

The gay couple comes out, the stripper finds real love, the troubled child mends his relationship with his father and learns the truth about his past”

With the help of each other, these strangers become survivors and learn that hope and help always exist if you ask for them and accept them when they come, no matter where from. Fish Change Direction in Cold Weather shows us that faith in the little things can still be found and that sometimes, happy-ever-after really does come true. This isn’t a book you want to miss. No, it won’t change your life but it will make you happy and surely that’s worth the time.

5th February 2013 23 www.studentnewspaper.org

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ECONOMY Stills Gallery until 21st April

By Eloise Hendy @EloiseInMoscow

ATaster ofThe Lion King

Photo: Stills.org

nstability and insecurity pervade the works currently displayed at Stills Gallery – a sense that both everyday experience and the art it inspires are in a state of flux. This tension is intentional: the name and theme of the exhibition is ECONOMY. Capitalism, globalisation and exploitation are interrogated by a range of international artists, united in their interest in the effect economic relations have on human relationships. Where do emotions fit in a materialist world? Where do people fit in a reality governed by money markets? The exhibition is contemporary in every way – modern concerns are exposed through the modern media used. Documentary montages, manipulated images and false dramas walk the precarious line between reality and construction; a line trod everyday by banks that deal in imaginary millions. Yet alongside immediate pieces, many of the works actually date from years or decades past. Kai Kaljo’s video piece at the entrance is grounded

in the aftermath of the Soviet Union but its storyline of economic failure and austerity is painfully familiar. The artist depending on her parents for support is definitely recognisable, to students perhaps more than anyone. This idea of economic displacement and uncertainty is key throughout, with Werner Hirsch’s offhand comment in Pauline Boudry and Re-

nate Lorenz’s piece “Normal Work” resonating sorely, “I have a masters’ degree in art, but, you know, whatever.” Like Tracey Emin’s “I’ve Got It All”, prominently displayed in the gallery’s opening, Boudry and Lorenz’s work shows the intense connection between flesh and currency. Here the commodification of society is linked

Marry Me

Dan Rhodes (2013) Canongate Books Ltd

By Eva O’Connor

By Rebecca Moss @ BecciMoss

www.telegraph.co.uk

o one knew what to expect of The Lion King press launch, we were kept in the dark – literally – as to what the ‘taster’ would be like. As we were led through the eerie, dimly lit Playhouse theatre and taken backstage to a smaller theatre overlooking the majestic auditorium, the anticipation was palpable. As we took our seats a screen lowered and the iconic Lion King emblem beamed down on us. For a moment it seemed as though we were in for a fancy powerpoint presentation, but the show in store was as thrilling as any West End extravaganza. Three of The Lion King’s lead performers, Nala, Timone and Rafiki were in attendance, and their captivating presence effortlessly filled the entire auditorium. Despite the absence of majestic loping antelopes, or cheeky monkeys swinging from the wings, the Playhouse successfully created a magical taster of the show.

to sexualisation and objectification. Working roles are fetishized and exposed as inherently exploitative. The exhibition is clever and sharp, each piece appearing to allude to those just passed. Laughter audio echoes from the entrance, haunting the rooms and heightening the general sense of unease. And although the whole is grand-

The Edinburgh Gospel Choir (who, although vocally strong, were a remarkably uncoordinated, physically awkward bunch onstage) joined in the performances, providing the backing for such enchanting Lion King classics as “He Lives In You”, “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” and Nala’s particularly haunting “Shadowlands”. A demonstration of the popularity of the show came on Thursday, when hundreds of fans queued outside in the freezing cold to purchase the first tickets released. With such enthusiasm behind this production, it’s

unsurprising to hear that it will be the biggest theatrical production in Scotland’s history and The Lion King’s biggest audience in all of Europe. In response to such demand the Playhouse has had to dramatically increase its box office capacity, making the musical worth £1 million to the theatre. However, regardless of all the impressive statistics and convoluted marketing speak, the true secret of The Lion King’s success lies in the incredible talent of its actors and the inexplicably enchanting visuals. Roll on October.

arry Me reads like a compilation of ideas for novels that never got written. In a series of short stories (and I mean very short: some less than 40 words), Rhodes examines the pitfalls of love and marriage. This succinct style seems innovative at first: seen as an experiment in manipulating the reader’s emotions in a matter of pages, Rhodes uses fragments of familiar relationships along with a hint of the comic and the surreal to explore their irrationality. Unfortunately, this experiment is not overall successful; the failure of these stories to evoke any interest in the vast majority of their characters is testament as to why this type of book is very rarely written. What should have been a tongue-in-cheek analysis of couples dy-

ly thought provoking, every fragment of the show is effective individually. ECONOMY concerns humanity on a worldwide scale, while maintaining an intimately personal feeling. While shifting economic relations may trigger discomfort, if this is how contemporary art is transforming then our future prospects are far from bleak. namics feels like the lazy performance of a fledgling comedian observing the differences between men and women to the half laughs of an increasingly wearied audience. “Cart” portrays a woman who leaps at the chance to rummage through wedding magazines as her fiancé looks on in bemusement, whilst “Lemmings” is the tale of a woman who, despite her efforts, fails to be the most attractive woman at her wedding. In most of these stories the men are weak and often unkind, whilst the women are loose-moraled, mercenary or downright idiotic. There are though, some moments of literary gold. Rhode’s detached style of writing is at times genuinely hilarious, such as in “Two”, where a woman bluntly questions her husband’s sexual creativity, whilst “Ex”, the poignant story of a woman who wistfully marries the wrong man, is memorable in its elegance. It is gems like these that make Marry Me such a frustrating read. Rhode teases us with his creative potential, but the monotony of much of his work means that as a reader you are stimulated but never quite satisfied.

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COMMISSION #14: Kate McAllan Kate McAllan is an MA Fine Art student specialising in Painting. Her work focuses on the mystery and power of the Scottish sky – a climate in a constant state of flux surrounded by a landscape rich in melancholic stillness. Her subject matter combines imagination and reality, inner feeling and the outer world, ultimately portraying a physical landscape which mirrors the mind. The sensation of being within nature is achieved through large scale immersive work formed by hundreds of tiny marks which provide unity of surface and suggest an infinity of space. Her practice also involves collections of small scale drawings and paintings exploring veils of vapour, blinding light and abyss-like darkness. The quantity of these images, alongside the intimacy of their note-like form, stands as a metaphor for the snowstorm of images which permeate her thoughts everyday. The Northern landscape is a playground full of metaphors and ambiguities and her work becomes a way of telling these stories.

TwitterTuesday: This week’sculturaltweeters @ClicketEd

@FriezeLondon

@WelshIrvine

For Edinburgh specific cultural events. From art to dance and everything in between, they compile useful monthly ‘top ten’ lists to help you organise your cultural calender.

Find out what’s going on down south with news and exhibition info delivered with the perfect amount of nonsensical London pretension.

The infamous Scottish author of Trainspotting, Filth and Porno’s musings on life, literature, film, football and pretty much everything in between.

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Play our brain-teasing games If innovation makes you tick, now’s the time to put that mental agility to use for the chance to win a Google Nexus 7 (32GB). We’ve developed some brain-teasing online games that will test your quick responses and lateral thinking against students across the country. Every week, the top of the leader board for each game will win the prize.

world’s leading management consulting, technology services and outsourcing companies. So, while you’re taking part in the games, you’ll discover how people with your kind of problem-solving brains have joined Accenture and helped to create the No. 1 sports app for the RBS 6 Nations Championship, set up charities and transformed businesses across the globe.

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P.J. Molloys, January 31st By Lucinda Ross

rom the rugged streets of Camden and grimy festival stages to the quaint town of Dunfermline, Tribes celebrated their second album Wish To Scream which will be released in May. Despite having only one album, Tribes fans stood huddled in the kitsch venue of PJ Molloy’s which possessed a similar essence of a modern day Cavern Club. With its low ceilings and walls clad in whiskey adverts, the homely bar created the perfect ambiance for any new and up and coming band. After a two hour wait and an upbeat warm up from Moon Kids, Tribes entered with their familiar hits, “Bad Apple” and “The Corner of an English Field” from their debut album, Baby, but not even the band’s bouncy rhythms could resuscitate the stagnant crowd into a minor movement. The audience was more The Inbetweeners than the lively and stylish English youth dancing along in their videos – it proved to be a disappointing start for Tribes.

“

An embodiment of being at the peak of youth”

Despite this the musicians managed to resurrect the audience after an energetic performance of “Sappho” which seemed to be their most anticipated song of the evening as the crowd resounded in hums of “with a girl like you” that muffled the sound of Johnny Lloyd’s cooing along to the guitar instrumental. Unlike modern rock bands such as The Vaccines, Tribes don’t embellish the view of the English adolescence today but create a window in their songs which reveal real (and ordinary) events which occur for all of us to relate to. “When My Day Comes” is an embodiment of being at the peak of

Paddy Gordon

BAAD Sessions Interview

By George Gunn

youth and not wanting to grow old to which the crowd sung along, accompanying Lloyd’s drawl of “why should we worry about acting our age?”. For many bands it is a challenge to maintain the enthusiasm of the crowd whilst promoting new songs but Tribes introduced singles from their next album without losing the energetic buzz with a mere casual head nod to the unfamiliar lyrics. The band went from strength to strength as they played new singles such as “Daughters and Sons” and “Wrapped Up in Carpet” which they had previously performed at T in The Park and Leeds/ Reading Festival in the summer. The luminescent lights dimmed as their new songs moved into a territory of psych-rock which was impossible not to bop along to. The thing about Tribes is you won’t hear them banging on about an age before our time like most modern bands, desperately clinging onto the essence of rock and roll from past decades. Tribes bravely create their own post-grunge yet grimy sounds to usher our generation into a new rock and roll revolution. Playing in simple jeans and black blazers with band tops, Tribes don’t dress like their parents at a 70s Clash concert (unlike the majority of the audience) which subtly created a more modern vibe to 21st century rock and roll in their live performance. Within a mere 35 minutes, the band managed to bring their performance to its peak in “We Were Children”. The crowd rejoiced to relate to the song which is a celebration of being a child “in the mid-90s” up to the point where they spit out an overly joyed fan to share the microphone with guitarist, Dan White. The lights dimmed after the four-piece modestly thanked the audience, leaving the crowd in a disjointed babble of encores and a demand of songs titles before returning to pacify the restless crowd with “Come of Age” which undeniably left the crowd in anticipation for the release of their second album. to have lots of bands performing and gathering subscribers for the BAAD YouTube channel; so once I upload a new band, other band’s subscribers will see this new band as well as being able to browse older sessions too.

hat are BAAD Sessions?

What made you take up sound engineering/production?

BAAD stands for the Barras Art And Design centre, a building in Glasgow with a main courtyard and dome roof that has excellent acoustics. The sessions are a quick and easy way for artists to showcase their material in the highest possible quality. The idea is

I applied to do Music Performance at university but got rejected (even though I have a Grade 8 with Merit in piano – but that’s another story). A couple of weeks later, I found a job as a DJ and open mic night host at my local pub, where I took stereo mixes directly off the desk and gave these recordings

live Photo: We The Kings PR

Tribes

We The Kings: Pulling off the dodgy barnets

WeThe Kings

The Garage, January 28th By Kate Walker

he spirited riffs of We The Kings are like an instant throwback to the early teen years of your existence, when going to a gig was a rare thing and the highlight of your month. The band’s predominantly female, pre-teen and emo-based fans had no bother filling The Garage with the sweaty nature of teenage angst and hormones of such experiences. As the band set off with “She Takes Me High”, they were evidently on the high sung about at the height of the chorus. They effortlessly filled the room with electric chords and edgy lyrics, with the addition of lead singer Travis Clark’s hair, which is nothing short of surreal. With the powerhouse that is “Skyway Avenue”, the atmosphere

to the artists. From there, I started recording rough demos for these artists in my bedroom. Then I got my Apogee Duet interface – which allowed me to record two channels simultaneously and I started taking it more seriously.

How did you get the idea? I started recording and filming a friend’s band, and it was around this point that I started properly listening out for good-sounding rooms. In March last year, I dropped something in the BAAD centre and the noise just carried on forever. I had the equipment to record with eight inputs by this point, so I asked to record the band there in what turned out to be the first

felt like summer, the sun and being carefree all at once, but inside and in the dark somewhere in miserable Glasgow. The oddly placed but entirely pleasing summer theme continued with “Secret Valentine”, that simply reminds you of that summer romance; swift and sweet but one that you’ll never forget. With the addition of Clark’s ideal vocals, “nervous and shy, for the moment we will come alive tonight,” there’s something endlessly catchy about their performance and their songs. Summer and romance ran through the band’s performance in a welcomed stream. Clark’s song “Heaven Can Wait”, admittedly written about “the girl that makes every other girl seem blurry”, was dynamic and subtly layered. He proceeded to tell the crowd he was single and with lyrics like his, who wouldn’t go mad? However, it plays a part in the only downside to their gig – deafeningly pitched screams that shouldn’t be humanly possible, or at least not legal.

“All Again for You” was the highlight of the performance. The pained lyrics, “You know I’d do it all again for you / The one who really messed me up,” teamed with an uneven pace and raw edge gave it bonus points. As the bassist’s favourite – the bassists are always the thinkers – it had every right to be. We The Kings have obviously made the effort to earn their fan base – but suggesting ‘dry humping’ to a crowd of obviously underage girls? It leads to an awkward moment, to say the least. Despite this, though, the comment was received well enough. For the older of the crowd, the band hosted an after party in the club with a chance to party alongside them, something you definitely don’t get from many bands. Their well-chosen finale of “Check Yes Juliet” and Jimmy Eat World’s “The Middle” ended their gig in style. Without the hordes of screaming, underage girls, We The Kings might just have scored top marks.

BAAD Session.

was just so happy when I played it back and it sounded good.

Which artists have you enjoyed recording the most so far? Seams were my favourite. They were the first band I recorded that didn’t come from Glasgow, and were all still in school. I couldn’t believe the talent coming from such a young group. I always make sure their songs are in my playlists and I’m definitely a fan. I also got a ton of work with other bands because of their session, so I have that to thank them for that too! I also enjoyed Delta Mainline, who were the trickiest as I had to record 11 people live in a room I’d never recorded in before. I

What are your ambitions for the BAAD Sessions? I would eventually like to be uploading two or three videos a week of new material, which would ideally involve a mixture of major label and unsigned artists. In a few years’ time I see the BAAD Sessions being branded as a ‘portable sound engineer who can record and film anywhere’. The videos will all be linked to a central channel as opposed to just being promoted separately by each band

5th February 2013 27 www.studentnewspaper.org

Albums

Opposites Biffy Clyro

By Kieran Johnson

Photo: Biffy Clyro PR

Fleetwood Mac Rumours

By Kate Walker

umours by Fleetwood Mac is a legendary album. A status it deserves, it is possibly the one album that has something for everyone and all tastes. The simple yet dynamic chords of “Never Going Back Again” show that Fleetwood Mac’s music was written at a time where music was pure and meaningful. Every lyric of every song has something more to it. From the album comes the iconic “Don’t Stop” and “Go Your Own

Way”, which, if you haven’t yet heard, you’ve obviously missed out a point in your education. Opening with “Loving you, isn’t the right thing to do” after only a few rough guitar chords, “Go Your Own Way” is powerful from the off and has merited many covers since, but none match the original. The spine-tingling “Silver Springs” with Stevie Nick’s vocals is in a word, astounding – not something easily said about music. Again simple but with so much depth you’ll lose yourself in the moment. Her raw attack at heart-wrenching lyrics such as, “Time casts a spell on you / But you won’t forget me / You’ll never forget the sound of the woman that loves you”, make the track a true highlight. Floating and mesmerising

here would be a legitimate argument in saying that Biffy Clyro are the biggest rock band in the UK and their follow up to the immense, world-beating Only Revolutions, sees the band return with an ambitious double album, Opposites. Most striking is the album’s predominantly sombre mood. Songs like “Opposite” and “Skylight” are slow burning synth led pieces, the sparse instrumentation complementing the emotive lyrics. However some of these bolder experimental pieces suffer from a lack of the energy that we’re accustomed to from Biffy Clyro, while some of the other tracks like “Black Chandewith a smooth piano backtrack; “Songbird” hits all emotions. On the flipside, the instantly recognisable “The Chain” is slightly darker with a sexy edge that comes from a band that work well in performance but with rooted issues behind closed doors. Those few bass moments will impress you at every listen. It’s no secret that Fleetwood Mac has changed members more times than the Sugarbabes, but Rumours comes from the time where they had their line-up perfect. As my own favourite record, it’s hard to say a bad word about the album, but seeing as I’ve yet to meet someone who doesn’t appreciate it as a masterpiece of sound, I won’t. Just genius.

Mogwai

Les Revenants By Laura Cain

Photo: Matador Records

S Singles

cottish post-rock giants Mogwai return to the world of writing scores on their latest EP for French TV series Les Revenants (‘The Returnees’). Based on the film released in 2004, the show follows a group of people trying to return home, unaware of the fact that they are in fact dead and no one awaits them there. The four song EP definitely translates that air of mystery, adventure and peculiarity that you would come to expect from such a cryptic premise to a show. “Wizard Motor” builds up into a culmination of powerful drum crashes and atmospheric guitar-riffs

lier” sink into radio-friendly rock that falls short of expectations. Don’t worry though, Biffy haven’t ‘done a Kings of Leon’. Across the two albums there are moments of everything that make this band great: “Sounds Like Balloons” contains the angular riffing and epic choruses that have made Biffy the darlings of the alt rock community for over a decade; “Stingin’ Belle” is a solid rocker that’s destined to become a live favourite, an anthem purpose built for stadia, complete with a bagpipe-laden outro. ‘Ambition’ would be the keyword for Opposites. Along with the aforementioned keyboards and bagpipes, kazoos, string sections and mariachi horns also make their way onto the album, the latter adding both fun and intrigue to the otherwise pedestrian “Spanish Radio”, transforming it into an album highlight. “Pockets” and “Trumpet or Tap” also showcase Biffy having a shot at power-pop and bluesy

soul respectively. Lyrically speaking, Opposites proves to be a fitting title for the album. At times dealing with darker themes such as loss and desperation with sheer honesty (“I shouldn’t laugh but I know I’m a failure in your eyes” – “Black Chandelier”), Simon Neil also expresses Biffy’s defiance and unity in his craft. For example, “Picture a Knife Fight”, with its rallying cry of “we’ve got to stick together”, or the anthemic “Victory Over the Sun” demonstrate the sound of a band who’ve faced their share of trials and have come out stronger. Opposites is ultimately a very human album, encompassing a range of styles and emotions, equally determined and introspective but most of all sincere. And while being far from perfect, the flaws add to both the charm and the drama. Much like life itself.

Fleetwood Mac: The oldies are still the best with an eerie organ-like synth backdrop. The surprisingly short “Soup” is a much more calming affair, complete with distinctive Mogwai-esque bass line, whereas “The Hut” and its repetitive piano sequence proves that less is more when it comes to post-rock.

“

Translates that air of mystery and adventure”

Indeed post-rock is one of those genres of music which, lacking the overriding and lyrically defining lead singer, is on a par with classical music when it comes to attempting to analyse it. You could say it’s excellent atmospheric music, easy on the ear, and particularly helpful when it comes to late night essay writing. In all Les Revenants doesn’t disappoint; offering a blend of moody sounds, it seems to have been written for those pesky winter blues.

Photo: Fleetwood Mac PR

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The Courteeners Lose Control

By Jessica Holmes

aving been away for three years, The Courteeners have certainly evolved their sound since the last time we saw them. New single “Lose Control” from their latest album Anna sees them move away from the fast-paced and upbeat guitar riffs to a more electronic feel that has no doubt come from working with new producer Joe Cross. Whilst this change of direction may take a while to get used to for a fan of the band’s older work, “Lose Control” is revealed to still retain the feel of an indie guitar anthem with a simple chorus that will surely have the crowds at their upcoming tour singing.

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By James Wood

Hyde Park on Hudson Roger Michell

By Nikki Cunningham

xploring the familiar royal territory of The King’s Speech and following on the recent pattern of American political biopics, Hyde Park on Hudson fell far short of the mark. Although featuring a cast with the likes of Bill Murray and Samuel West, the plot itself seemed to flail around like a fish out of water. Instead of a film adaptation of the all-impor-

NO HORSES WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS FILM

WHILE THE BODY’S STILL COLD: THE ETHICS OF BIOPIC FILM RIGHTS

here as one could argue accounts of his actions differ amongst sources. No two people looking at the same event will see it in the same way. An event is never just an event but rather one’s interpretation of that event. As time progresses, more interpretations of the actions of a past figure will arise. Producing a biographical film about dead people gains increasing subjectivity the older the subject you wish to portray. It is unlikely to cause offence to those who claim to know the long deceased subject, as there will be very few left. More recent figures are much more likely to cause controversy. Biopics do not focus only on the dead, there are those who wish to capture past events of a presently existent person. Often the person in question will be consulted, as in Danny Boyle’s 127 Hours, which portrays the tumultuous tale of Aron Ralston who helped tant pre-war meeting between King George V and President Roosevelt, we are subjected to a less than interesting plot with the occasional witty moment.

make the film as factually accurate as possible. Leonardo Di Caprio portrays Frank William Abagnale Jr in Steven Spielberg’s Catch Me If You Can, noting the events that made Abagnale one of the most famous con-artists of all time. Gabriele Muccino captures the story of Chris Gardner (Will Smith) in his biopic of Gardner’s period of homelessness whilst raising his toddler son Christopher Jr and attempting to secure a life as a stockbroker (The Pursuit of Happyness). These three films all celebrate the lives of the men they portray, a celebration the men in question would be proud of.

“

But just how soon after someone’s death should it be acceptable to fight over the making of a film about them? A biopic could prolong their suffering. Jobs has family and friends still suffering bereavement.” Not all biopics have chosen to

This begs the question as to

couldn’t decide whether to make Roosevelt’s romance or his encounter with the monarchy the main storyline, leaving us in a confusing state of limbo.

West’s interpretation of the king is about the only believable part to this film, and to his credit he does do it justice in terms of the famous speech impediment and sense of humour. Bill Murray certainly looks the part, with excellent attention to detail and could have possibly rescued the film had it not been for predictable lines and a hollow presence. The only redeeming factor the film had, and something that Michell should have focussed upon a great deal more, was the gradual relationship forming between the royals and Roosevelt’s entourage. There are some quite comical moments and it is a shame the plot seemed to hold these moments back, not allowing for any-

“

West’s interpretation of the King is about the only believable part to this film, and to his credit he does do it justice in terms of the famous speech impediment”

The relationship between Roosevelt and Daisy, a distant cousin, seems awkward to begin with, then quickly settles into the familiar pattern of romance followed by betrayal – but the betrayal isn’t even that riveting. It is as if director Roger Michell

capture the great events of another, however. Some wish to show the fall of a person. Unlike the categories above – the recently deceased and the long deceased – for the living, one would expect the narration of someone’s bad actions to have been produced with enough decency to prevent the individual portrayed from suffering adverse consequences. Although unconfirmed, it is rumoured that Bradley Cooper will play Lance Armstrong in a biopic directed by J.J. Abrams. It will be loosely based on the book Cycle of Lies: The Fall of Lance Armstrong by New York Times reporter Juliet Macur.

The other disappointment was the soundtrack. In a film such as this the soundtrack is of great importance to reflect the beautiful scenery, but unfortunately it is a mix of a Walt Disney playlist with the obligatory rendition of 1930’s swing.

Photo: cdn1.screenrant.com

n autobiography normally portrays a person’s tale in their own words. They can very easily put pen to paper and narrate their life, however with film an individual’s legacy is being placed in the hands of another. Although a director might seek insight from the person they hope to portray, very rarely will this person be able to have full creative control over what is produced. Of course this is a very narrow sense of the word ‘biographical’ as not only those that are still with us become the subject matter of biographical film. With the passing of Steve Jobs naturally the most important task at hand was to decide who would secure the movie rights. Sony has been declared the winner with Aaron Sorkin, the Oscar-winning screenwriter behind The Social Network penning the script, but not before Joshua Michael Stern could direct the first biographical film of Jobs. Starring Ashton Kutcher as Jobs, it premiered at the Sundance Film Festival to mixed reviews and scheduled for release April 19 2013 it is unlikely to fare well with Sony’s attempt in the pipeline. But just how soon after someone’s death should it be acceptable to fight over the making of a film about them? A biopic could prolong their suffering. Jobs has family and friends likely still suffering bereavement. Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak has damned the movie, deeming it an inaccurate portrayal of Jobs, tarnishing the legacy he left behind. There are of course historical biopics, founded only on subjective sources. Such figures include Napoleon, whom Abel Gance immortalised in his six hour epic Napoleon (1927). There is much more creative freedom

whether there is a moment too soon to create a biopic. Armstrong will likely be suffering severe emotional trauma from watching his legacy crumble right before his eyes. Capturing this fall from grace in what will probably be a highly successful movie could tear Armstrong’s life even further apart. One should not condone what he did, but we shouldn’t revel in his suffering. Biopics wield immense power; they will convince thousands that the person on the screen is synonymous to the person being portrayed. Such power should not be abused for fear of its branding the living with a reputation they wish to forget. A celebration of the living is to be applauded, but bullying is cruel regardless of the actions in question. Only in the deceased’s ignorance can you have true conscious freedom to express the message you desire. thing to develop further. This film definitely had potential, but a lacklustre script and flat-asa-pancake plot did not allow for it to take off.

COMPETITIONTIME! Prior to the release of Warm Bodies on Friday 8th February the Student film section is having a competition with a chance for 5 lucky entrants to win a goody bag complete with a hoodie, hand warmer and book! To be in with a chance of winning just tweet @TheStudentFilm with your most creative way of staying warm in Edinburgh’s cold winter months!

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Bullhead

CULT COLUMN

Michaël Roskam By Alex Shedlock

Bullet to the Head Walter Hill

By Melissa Lawford

s the name Bullet to the Head might suggest, the latest Sylvester Stallone film to hit the big screen really wants to be a cool, slick return to the glory of its star’s old movies. Unfortunately, it could not have been further from its mark. To outline its plot would imply that it has one, but here’s an attempt to tell you what it apparently was supposed to be. Based on a novel by Alexis Nolent, the film follows the stereotyped characters Jimmy Bobo (Stallone), a hit-man, and Detective Taylor Kwon (Sung Kang). They unite to fight the local killing-machines and find themselves in an ethical pickle. This tale is, however, completely devoid of any continuity, motive or logic. There is supposed to be a twist; it doesn’t just come out of leftfield, it comes out of thin air, and seems it has only been written in for the sake of a

Photo: saladadecinema.com.br

ichaël Roskam’s Bullhead is at the halfway point between David Cronenberg’s Eastern Promises and Ian Bank’s The Wasp Factory. On the one hand we have a mafia thug story: a Belgian crime drama set in the underworld of the meat industry, where cows are illegally treated with hormones in an effort to make the process as cost-effective as possible. On the other, we have a deeply character driven piece as the viewer follows the farmer Jacky Vanmarsenille through a criminal tale of coincidence and tragedy. Before long it becomes clear that the characters are what really make the film. From the make-up on Jacky’s slightly damaged face to the excellent cinematography and visual tone, the film never fails to impress. Bullhead’s first half is especially enigmatic and pondering, building a lot of tension as we are introduced to Jacky and the initial plot point of a police officer investigating the ‘hormone mafia’ being bumped off. The skill with which director Roskam ties together various

threads of story is admirable, but the crime thriller side of the film eventually stops being intriguing; we find ourselves wanting the plot to wrap up so we can see what happens to Jacky. Jacky is, without question, the reason to see this film. Ingeniously acted by Matthias Schoenaerts, his imposing figure recalls The Dark Knight Rises’ Bane. The character is a vessel through which Roskam parallels the

meat industry with humans themselves, and asks the crucial question: if penned up and impotent, aren’t humans just another kind of cattle? The only real problem with the film is that the plot leaves a little to be desired later on. It feels a little like Roskam compromised some of the thematic threads of the film just to resolve the plot in some way, like a ‘true crime epic’. Despite this flaw, however, Bull-

head is a visually and dramatically satisfying film. A warning: if you are in any way squeamish, or want a light thriller on your trip to the flicks, don’t see Bullhead. There is some agonizingly dark stuff in this film, at times terrifying, which shall not be spoiled in this review. A nightmarish but thought provoking ride, Bullhead comes highly recommended.

few extra shooting scenes. Regardless, any potential that this structure could provide is zapped by the weakness of the script. The dialogue seems to have been written by someone in a mid-life crisis who is trying to convince themselves that they could have been James Bond. The same could really be said for the whole production team. The soundtrack features harmonica solos and tries to suggest that the audience is watching a true classic. The effect is tragic. There is also an attempt at an innovative use of screen shots and freeze frames, which is embarrassing. Not quite as embarrassing as Stallone’s narrative voice over, but still embarrassing. Even the fight scenes themselves are poorly choreographed and unoriginal. The climactic axe-fight that is such a focal point of the trailers is actually boring to watch. Some people did get up and leave the cinema during this film, but it wasn’t that offensively bad. It’s an acceptable film to watch if you are exceptionally hung-over and have the capacity to be mesmerized solely by the incredible protrusion of veins on Stallone’s arms. They really do protrude incredibly.

Flight

enced Whip remains calm and instructs the crew in what to do as he expertly manoeuvres the plane to crash land in a field, ending in few fatalities. Whip is hailed as a hero, but a toxicology report following the crash reveals the alcohol and drug levels in his system. Evidence supports that the crash was due entirely to mechanical error, but the toxicology report means Whip could end up facing manslaughter charges. For a 138-minute film, there is not much more content than is summed up in the two-and-a-half minute trailer. The story could have done with some editing as all the film really requires is Denzel Washington’s performance. It’s almost even difficult to judge the greatness of his performance when it’s clouded by how angry you are with his character. On the one hand, you know the crash was a mechanical error, but on the other, you want to doubt him when he continually denies — and indulges in — his alcohol addiction.

Robert Zemeckis By Lauren Tormey

f you’ve seen the trailer for Flight, you may have squawked at the seemingly ludicrous image of an upside-down flying plane, but this film is no laughing matter. Denzel Washington stars as Captain William “Whip” Whitaker, an airline pilot with severe addiction problems. We first see him wake up to an alarm two hours before he’s scheduled for take-off, in bed with a flight attendant, bottles of booze scattered everywhere. Still drunk and tired after a night of indulging in his addictions, he uses cocaine as his hangover cure and leaves the hotel room looking smug and ready for the morning’s flight. As SouthJet flight 227 prepares for its descent, mechanical issues force the plane into a dive, and there is no chance of fixing it. The co-pilot is frantic and oblivious as to how to handle the situation, while the well-experi-

ALL FILMS WERE REVIEWED AT CINEWORLD

ddiction is a cinematic experience. What is prohibited by school, by parents, by various religious institutions makes for great viewing, even if at times it leaves you grimacing or slightly nauseous. Addiction in film is ‘sexy’; it invites audiences to look into a world that is not their own, and to undergo – if briefly – the sensations experienced by those who have fully surrendered to a habit. It takes the unknown and puts it on the silver screen, right in front of you. What makes this particular theme so workable for directors is that it comes with a story attached: problem exists, problem is acknowledged – but the script writer gets a say on how it all ends; which is why Renton rides off into the sunset, drug-free, at the end of Trainspotting, whereas Requiem for a Dream concludes in each character hitting rock bottom, with the potential of falling even further. Shame is an excellent portrayal of a nymphomaniac struggling to accommodate his addiction into his normal life, but also highlights the less than candid relationship with sex that the other individuals in the film have. There is, however, a danger that movies make addiction seem ‘glamorous’. Whilst Trainspotting hardly insinuates that injecting heroin is the key to success in life, its humorous slant and riotous soundtrack certainly encourages its audience – mostly made up of young, restless males – to stick two fingers up at the Man. A common pastime among such kids is to watch the comedy Pineapple Express – a picture about two men on the run from a terrifying drug lord – whilst enjoying the effects of marijuana; an explicit example of a film failing to get its message across if ever there was one. The recent release of Robert Zemeckis’ Flight, in which an alcoholic pilot faces a lawsuit after landing a plane whilst intoxicated, provides an honest and emotional insight into the life of an addict and the challenges that he faces. Flight is not glamorous, but is rather a sensitive portrayal of the impact that addiction has on lives. Addiction in film provides entertainment; but in successful films this comes from the artistic creativity in depicting the matter, rather than the matter itself.

Sophie O’Mahony

5th February 2013 30 www.studentnewspaper.org

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Derek

ToffTV

BBC Four

By Jack Murray

WeeklyWipe BBC iPlayer

By Heather Davidson

inally! After three long years in the wilderness, with fans left to fight over the scraps of end-of-year wrap-ups and Charlie Brooker’s rather sizable list of other projects, the Wipe series is back. Though its lengthy absence is understandable, its sudden return is slightly less so – I can only imagine the series’ unexpected reappearance is down to the sheer awfulness of Splash! acting as a kind of summoning ritual from a universe desperate for somebody to right ITV’s wrongs. Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe is, to borrow Brooker’s own description, a “programme about things that are happening” or, to borrow Wikipedia’s, a “review show”, encompassing his previous Screenwipe, Newswipe, the one-off special Gameswipe and whatever else he feels like talking about. With a bigger scope apparently

CHANNEL 4

Photo: Fox Searchlight Pictures

icky Gervais’s best ever character, David Brent, the deluded boss-fromhell in his and Stephen Merchant’s seminal series The Office once quipped, quoting Dolly Parton, that, “If you want the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain.” Perhaps Derek, Gervais’s current project, is just said rain, and this perplexing mess, picked up for a full series by Channel 4 after a pilot screened late last year, is no more than a frustrating drizzle, an unfortunate shower before something good appears again, before we see that shine once more. The show focuses on a care home threatened by budget cuts and weaves in and out of the lives of workers, residents and volunteers. Amongst these characters is Derek Noakes, a ‘kind’ volunteer who’s played with a dropping locked jaw and a flat slab of greasy hair by Gervais. Subject to considerable (and unnecessary) controversy since the pilot aired, due to the nature of his character and the potential for him to be perceived as disabled, his moniker provides the title of the show, but his importance in

it is questionable. In this first episode at least, Derek’s role seems to be a schmaltzy punctuation point, interjecting with moments of kindness or childish naivety (he loves frogs! He loves fluffy animals too!) which seek to slap a smiley onto a show which has an otherwise confused expression. Particularly troublesome is Kev (David Earl), a lager lout driven by his cock and balls, whose smut almost makes the trans-

parent sentimentality necessary. The objective of this cosy undercurrent (aside from counteracting Kev) is to place the pathos which The Office let linger subtley behind photocopiers and water coolers bang in the centre of the piece, but Gervais’s attempt is not so much hamfisted as pigpunched. Derek’s heart is big, as we’re repeatedely told, but the laser that zooms into Gervais’s character is an unwelcome distraction from the char-

acters the show should actually focus on. Hannah, played with charming elegance by Kerri Godliman, and Dougie, delivered with equisite angst by Karl Pilkington, both steal the show; a show that should have always been theirs from the start anyway. Whether through blind egotism or misjudged writing, Gervais has created a show whose main problem is the character that he plays.

comes a bigger budget; Charlie’s living room is certainly looking a lot nicer (and a lot more like a set) than it did back in the old Screenwipe days and they’ve even shelled out for a couple of sort-of-celebrity guests including, to my complete and utter delight, Pointless’s Richard Osman offering his thoughts on seeing Django Unchained and his resulting “45 – 50 seconds” of thinking about slavery. There’s a new segment too, “Points off You”, which consists of the noble pursuit of taking the piss out of Mail Online commenters, but apart from that it seems to be back to business as usual, with Brooker back in front of the television, the return of regular contributors Barry Shitpeas and Doug Stanhope, and the news round up “World of Bullshit”. Of course, the series revolves, as it always has, around Charlie Brooker’s caustic style and if you’re not on board already, this probably isn’t going to be the show that changes your mind. For the rest of us, however, this is a very welcome return. Though longterm fans may mourn the loss of its most deranged aspects (whither Tim

Key’s poetry?), the years away don’t seem to have blunted the Wipe series’ wit or ability to take down a target. Brooker is back and it’s good to see him.

corrupt and self-interested. Part of what makes Animal Farm so powerful is the contrast between the apparent childishness of this ‘fairy story’ and the brutality and horror displayed in the pigs’ takeover. This is captured in the smooth tones of Tamsin Greig. It is as though Greig tells us a story while we are tucked up in bed and the safety and security this conveys is drastically undermined by the incidents described. Consequently, this adaptation manages to unsettle even for those who believe that, having studied it at school, they are immune to its impact. Although narration and action are balanced well, certain scenes are elaborated on at the cost of others. One particular omission was the point when Boxer, the farm’s gentle giant (representing Russian workers), mourns his accidental killing of a stable boy. Yet only the most die-hard of Orwellian purists would object to this adaptation. Animal Farm is a short book, which you could probably read in the one and a half hours of this drama. But instead, allow Tamsin to do the hard work and listen to this version which is both fresh and faithful.

Animal Farm Radio Four

By Amelia Sanders

lmost seventy years later, there is still something shocking about George Orwell’s Animal Farm. As part of Radio 4’s season of The Real George Orwell, this dark allegory of the Russian revolution has been re-recorded, using Orwell’s own radio script. The story is deceptively simple: farm animals, tired of their abuse by man, take over the farm, expelling the owner and determining to rule themselves in a more equal society. Yet the best laid plans of mice, men, sheep and slightly stupid carthorses go oft astray as the pigs, the original leaders of the revolution, abandon their utopian dreams, becoming more and more

atching Chancellor George Osborne getting booed at the Paralympics and trying to ‘style it out’ with one of those Mr Bean smiles of his was, I think we can all agree, one of our proudest moments as a nation. It exposed the growing intolerance for our toff-centric government with its millionaire Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt cutting shapes in the ballroom of his Surrey mansion, to take but one particularly illumniating example. It’s possibly surprising, then, that we as a (very skint) nation are still prone to romanticising and being in thrall to toff culture. Take the immense popularity of ITV’s Downton Abbey. We cant seen to get enough of Cousin Matthew mooning over vinegar-tits Lady Mary, or Carson the Butler acting like a man who is both severely constipated and battling to conceal an enourmous erection. Then there’s the yoof-focused Made In Chelsea, the stars of which, like, despite their expensive educations, or whatever, like, inflect the end of every sentence as if its, like, a question? Add to that BBC1’s recent caricature adaptation of PG Wodehouse’s Blandings which offered a jolly, jaunty, and wholly affectionate look back at 20s toff-foolery. These shows come at a time when apparantely ‘groovy’ artists have accepted honours without any significant (publicly audible) criticism, whilst Danny Boyle and Ken Livingston rejecting theirs is met with not much of a reaction at all. It’s got something to do with the pride we take in our heritage. Whilst we rile at Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith suggesting the weekly £70 Jobseeker’s Allowance is too high, then claiming a £39 breakfast on expenses (hungry boy), we still want to celebrate Britain’s past, with all the hierarchy, Empire and slavery that it connotes. We also want escapism. Shows like Downton are popular precisely becuase they are so different from our daily lives. After a long, hard day working in Morrisons you hardly want to come home and watch a drama about somebody working a long, hard day in Morrisons. Now do excuse me, but it’s been a trying day so I’m off to watch Cousin Matthew peg it. By Jacquline Thompson @JacqThomp87

5th February2013 31 www.studentnewspaper.org

Six Nations up for grabs By Amanda Scribante @amandascrib88

t’s that time of year again – the time when the six greatest rugby nations of the northern hemisphere battle it out over a period of 43 days to truly determine the greatest of the great. With Wales the current Grand Slam and Triple Crown title holders, you would think that they would stand out as the team to beat, but with a dismal autumn plagued with injury resulting in not a single win, their chances, even with the likes of Adam Jones on their side, seem less then promising.

England, on the other hand, are the bookies’ hot favourite to win. A Grand Slam win this year would take their total amount of titles held in this competition to an impressive 13. England seem to have momentum after a fairly strong autumn run, especially in light of their match against New Zealand which Matt Dawson called, “Maybe England’s greatest ever victory at Twickenham.” The French team are looking equally as strong, with a great autumn behind them which saw them annihilate Australia and, with strong key players on their side such as Maxime Memoz, Frederic Michalak and Morgan Parra, they seem a force to be reckoned with. However, it remains to

Illustration: Inees Murray

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be seen whether France’s lack of consistency and less then favourable track record at Twickenham can be overcome. If France can beat England on the 23rd of February then they might just come out as victorious. Although these two teams are looking very strong, one would be careful not to out rule the Irish. With a favourable draw of home matches against both England and France, Ireland will be quietly optimistic about their chances of success. With some great young players coming through the ranks such as Craig Gilroy and Simon Zebo, not forgetting possibly the best fly half in the tournament, Johnny Sexton, Ireland seem to be clear contenders for the ti-

By Christopher Dyer @amerettoman

STILL GOT IT the most exciting tie of the round. Luton Town made history by becoming the first ever non-league side to knock out top flight opposition since the Premier League’s inception in 1992, beating Norwich City 1-0 at Carrow Road. With a home tie against Championship side Millwall in the next round, a team outside of the league pyramid reaching the quarter finals of the FA Cup is becoming an ever more tangible prospect. Milton Keynes Dons, who at one stage were leading 4-0 at Queens Park Rangers, ended up running out 4-2 winners. Their achievement was somewhat overshadowed by the other

Photo: Yahoo

ho said cup romance was dead? Following the extraordinary sequence of results over the fourth round weekend of the FA Cup, pundits, commentators and fans alike were left gobsmacked and saw their affection for the competition rekindled. However, with dwindling attendances in recent seasons in addition to the traditional 3.00 kick-off time being shifted back to 5.15 for last season’s final, cynics feel that the world’s most prestigious cup competition’s reputation has been tarnished and has lost its appeal, especially among the top sides. Given the embarrassment of riches on offer to clubs in the Premier League, many managers chose to put emphasis on their league form by rotating their squads and assessing how those players who had not had much of a look in would fare. They were still confident that the sides they put out would be too strong for their lower league opponents but they were ultimately proved wrong. Seven time winners Liverpool were dumped out by Oldham Athletic of League One in what was considered

upsets that occurred during the most incredible 48 hours of cup football this season, yet they played their Premier League hosts off the park for the best part of an hour. Leeds United, a sleeping giant of English football that has witnessed a decline in terms of on-field success over the last decade, saw off Tottenham Hotspur at Elland Road in a game which saw one of the most atmospheric and intimidating grounds in the country come to life much in the same way as it had done in the Capital One Cup victories over Everton and Southampton earlier in the season. Brentford twice led against Chelsea

tle. However, with a lack of depth and backup in their scrum, Irish fans will be praying that their tighthead prop Mike Ross has an injury free tournament. With an interim coach and the wooden spoon from last year, Scotland’s chances do not seem as promising. However, with the likes of Tom Visser, Stuart Hogg and Sean Maitland in the team, Scottish fans can at least look forward to some exciting matches. It remains to be seen whether the replacement of Jacques Brunel with Nick Mallet as Italy’s coach can produce positive results for the Italian team. With matches being played at the Stadio Olimpico amidst 70 thousand passionate Italian fans, Sergio Parisse’s boys might just be able to muster up two wins. Amidst the flurry of questions and predictions as to who will reign victorious in 2013, the Irish do not seem a bad bet. The side have enjoyed a strong and consistent build up to the tournament and there’s no reason to believe that this will not continue. However nothing is certain, and with many a new coach, captain and player taking to the field this year, it seems this year’s Six Nations title really is fair game. and were seven minutes away from enflicting a most unexpected cup defeat on the European champions, but eventually had to settle for a replay. The Capital One Cup has seen a resurgence this season thanks in no small part to Bradford City, who have eliminated Premier League opposition on three occasions en route to the final at Wembley later this month. There they will face Swansea City, whose meteoric rise in the last decade- from the verge of relegation from the Football League to Premier League stability and now a League Cup final appearance- represents another cup fairytale. The last 16 of the FA Cup will feature at least nine non-Premier League sides. The draw has thrown up fewer potential upsets, with the notable exception of Oldham who will hope to eliminate another Merseyside outfit when they entertain Everton. With Milton Keynes Dons taking on Barnsley and Luton Town welcoming Millwall to Kenilworth Road, there will definitely be at least two teams from outside the Premier League in the draw for the quarter finals, something which should enthuse sceptics of a competition steeped in tradition as well as upsets. Some will argue that the FA Cup is back- but has it ever been away?

Cup final gives respite for troubled Hearts By David Aitchinson @aitchinson_david

ast Saturday, Hearts defeated Inverness Caledonian Thistle on penalties at Easter Road to advance to the Scottish League Cup Final. This makes it back to back cup final appearances for the Jambos, who famously defeated city rivals Hibernian 5-1 at Hampden last May to lift the Scottish Cup. In achieving this success the club have demonstrated remarkable resolve and strength of character. Against high-flying Inverness, Hearts fielded a very young starting 11, a striker who was making his debut after arriving only the previous day, and a midfield three that were dwarfed in age and height by their Inverness rivals. Add to this some questionable refereeing decisions, before being reduced to ten men midway through the second half (a repeat of events from the quarter final against Dundee United, a game also won on penalties), and the 14 thousand Hearts supporters may have been forgiven for thinking the game was not going to go their way.

“

The fact that the young side managed to dig deep has given every Hearts fan a lift” The fact that the young side managed to dig deep to reach another cup final has given every Hearts fan a lift. The club have shown impressive strength of character in recent months, managing to bounce back from managerial changes, contract disputes, threatened liquidation and loss of star players. It will now be interesting to see how the Jambos fare in the final against St Mirren. All the pressure will be on Hearts, who should head into the game as favourites. However, as we saw with St Mirren’s victory over Celtic in their semi-final, it would not be wise to write the Buddies off. For now, Hearts fans can look forward to the chance to add another trophy to the cabinet at Tynecastle to cap what has otherwise been a very testing season.

5th February2013 32 www.studentnewspaper.org

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University of Edinburgh 2012-13 Season 426 wins, 270 defeats and 60 draws, win rate 57%

Edinburgh host annual korfball tournament

aturday 26 January saw the start of Edinburgh University Korfball Club’s (EUKC) annual international tournament, a competition that sees 24 teams battle it out to be crowned winners. This year there were teams from throughout the UK, including a Scottish team and also Paal Central, from Holland, the home of Korfball. The tournament involved four groups of six teams that each played each other on the Saturday, with the Sunday involving knock-out games to establish the winner and positions for all the other teams. At the end of the Saturday, the top teams of the four groups were Original Ruff Shakers (a team from Norwich), Durham-Saints, Scotland and the EUKC 1st team. After the knock-out stages on Sunday the final led to a victory for Original Ruff Shakers with Scotland finishing second and Durham-Saints third. EUKC’s president, Ffion Jones, said at the end of the tournament, “We had another great turnout at EIKT this year, with 24 teams from across Europe participating in the two day tournament. All of the teams played

6th 7th 8th 9th 10th 11th 12th

1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th

to a very high level, ending with a very close fought final between Norwich’s Original Ruff Shakers and Scotland, which was thoroughly enjoyed by all the other teams, and saw the Ruff Shakers taking gold.”

1478 1449.5 1430 1273 1209.5 1191 1075.5

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Hockey Swimming Fencing Basketball Tennis Lacrosse

157 150 100 99 95 92

Results: January 30th

The tournament also gave EUKC 1st a great opportunity to develop further as a team as they prepare to go to BUCS Nationals” EUKC 1sts had a very successful day on the Saturday, winning four out of five of their games and only drawing with Paal Central. This led to them finishing comfortably top of their group, setting them up well for the next day. However, their quarter final was against a Scotland team and despite a very closely fought match they narrowly lost 4-3 to Scotland, who went on to finish second. EUKC I won their next game, meaning their final game of the day was a re-match against Paal Central for the 5th/6th place play-off, a game Edinburgh unfortunately lost. Despite ending on a loss the team was very pleased with their performance, finishing one place higher than at the 2012 tournament. Their captain Ella Paul told the Student, “I

Nottingham Leeds Met Carnegie Manchester Edinburgh Newcastle Bristol Leeds

Edinburgh Breakdown

Photo: Lucy Antrobus

By Helena Corner @EdUniKorfball

BUCS Standings

loved EIKT this year because although it was a sweaty, smelly and achy weekend, EUKC I were awesome. We only missed out on a top four spot by one goal and we will definitely return with a vengeance next year!” The tournament also gave EUKC

a great opportunity to develop further as a team as they prepare to go to BUCS Nationals at the start of March. The team have high hopes of success following their impressive second place finish at the Northerns qualifiers in November.

Men’s Basketball 1st vs. Strathclyde 1st Men’s Rugby Union 2nd vs. Glasgow 2nd Women’s Hockey 3rd vs. Abertay 3rd Women’s Rugby Union 1st vs. Durham 1st Men’s Hockey 4th vs. Glasgow 3rd Women’s Lacrosse 1st vs. Manchester 1st Men’s Fencing 1st vs. Manchester 1st Men’s Football 2nd vs. Abertay 1st Men’s Rugby Union 3rd vs. Aberdeen 2 nd Men’s Basketball 2nd vs. Strathyclyde 2 nd

100-31 37-10 6-0 7-37 3-0 13-12 129-128 1-0 5-32 59-55

Fixtures: February 6th Women’s Water Polo 2nd vs. Stirling 1st Men’s Rugby Union 3rd vs. Strathclyde 2nd Women’s Tennis 1st vs. Stirling 1st Women’s Lacrosse 1st vs. Newcastle 1st

Edinburgh Basketball Club shooting for glory on all fronts this year By Edinburgh Basketball Club @EUBasketball1

hese are exciting times for the Basketball Club at Edinburgh University. Participation is on the up and all four of the club’s teams still have realistic chances of achieving league success at the end of the season. Both 1sts teams at the club are this year unbeaten in all competitions and looking to achieve promotion back into the Premier League North. The Women’s 1sts had their

ranks bolstered at the beginning of the season with an astounding six members of last season’s Scotland U18 team that competed at the European Championships in Macedonia choosing to study at Edinburgh. Joining third year P.E. Student and Scotland Senior cap Sarah O’Brien, the squad definitely has the potential to be one of the best in Britain in the coming years. Not wanting to be shown up, the Men’s 1sts have also made a great start to the season. Under new head coach Danny Costello, an eight times winner of the Scottish National League, the squad has a nice blend of ex-Scottish

Junior caps and international students. This includes Ryan Webb and Mike Kirkpatrick, both at the university having previously played NCAA basketball in the United States on full scholarships.

at the beginning of this season and their enthusiasm has definitely spread across the whole club.” Further evidence of this can be seen in the showing of the club’s second teams. The Women’s 2nds have

Amount of times new Men’s 1st Head Coach Danny Costello has won the Scottish National League

Club President, Ben Warrington, however, believes that this current success is not simply down to luck and new recruits: “We appointed great coaches for all four of our BUCS teams

remained unbeaten in a very competitive Scottish 2A Conference and at the present time are unarguably the best 2nds team, for either men or women, in Scotland. Even the Men’s 2nds, who

hold the unenviable title as the only non-undefeated team at the club, have improved greatly and managed to beat league favourites Glasgow Caledonian in the run-up to Christmas. All sports teams will tell you that a great start is useless if you cannot finish the job. None of the leagues have yet been decided and, with the possible exception of the all-conquering Women’s 1sts, most will likely go down to the wire. However with three of the four teams currently unbeaten, this semester has the potential to be great for basketball at Edinburgh University.