The Student 04/12/2012

Tuesday December 4 2012 | Week 12

S i n c e 1887 T h e U K ' s O ld e st S T ud en t N ews pa p er

24 per cent drop in university applications since 2010/11 cycle

Rhisiart Hincks

Thurston Smalley

EXAMS: A university feature of the past?

UK universities award students exam-free degrees Charlotte Brady

UK Universities are awarding degrees without students having had to sit any exams throughout their three years at university.

Figures and other information, published by UK universities for the first time, have shown how far traditional exams have been replaced with coursework.

Many courses are allowing coursework to make up 90 to 100 per cent of overall marks, in subjects from English and Philosophy to Business Management.

In some cases involving universities where exams are still relevant, they are worth just 20 or 30 per cent, and often allow students to fail question papers but still receive a degree.

This trend seems to be most common at new universities and polytechnic institutions.

Conversely, at research-intensive universities, most of the overall marks

are decided by traditional examinations.

In some Russell Group universities, however, including Birmingham and York, exams have been abolished on some courses.

Many claim there is a correlation between ‘degree inflation’ – the proportion of first class degrees awarded doubling over the past 12 years – and emphasis on coursework.

Official figures revealed that 53,215 graduates gained firsts in 2010-11 compared with 23,700 in 2000-01.

The concern that degrees are being ‘dumbed down’ has also been voiced, and many are questioning the legitimacy of a national degree classification as each individual institution is in control of how exams and coursework are marked.

Anastasia de Waal, deputy director and head of education at the think tank Civitas, told The Telegraph, “The increase in coursework at university raises important questions.

“The central one is the role of so-

called ‘spoon-feeding’ in the simultaneous rise between degree grades and coursework content – and, crucially, whether standards have taken a hit as a result.”

A survey of 85 Universities which offer a Bachelor of Arts degree in History revealed that at more than half, 60 per cent of the overall mark is coursework.

At one in five, 80 per cent or more is accredited to coursework.

At Worcester University, the History degree assessment is 100 per cent coursework, and last year, 20 per cent of students gained a first-class degree.

Similarly, Philosophy degrees were largely coursework, with Anglia Ruskin University’s degree 96 per cent coursework. However, Politics, Philosophy and Economics (PPE) at Oxford has none.

Students appear to prefer coursework, believing it to be ‘fairer’ than traditional examinations, as coursework marks are thought to be more representative of the learning process than exams.

Meanwhile, research shows that on the whole students tend to achieve higher marks in written assessments than in exams.

A study conducted recently by the Higher Education Academy suggested that one reason for the rise in students achieving first degrees could be that the “proportion of assessment marks derived from coursework has increased and coursework usually produces higher marks.”

Professor Antonia Payne, head of Worcester University’s institute of humanities, said it abolished traditional exams more than ten years ago, “in response to evidence that such examinations did not provide the most accurate, meaningful, all-round measurement of student achievement”.

She continued, “There is no correlation between the cessation of three-hour unseen examinations and the proportion of good history degrees awarded at Worcester over the past decade.”

UK university applications are down 8.4 per cent on the number of applicants at this point in the admissions cycle last year, according to figures published by the Universities and Colleges Admissions Service (UCAS).

The fall in applications has been highest among Scottish students, with a 10.5 per cent drop from this time last year. Applications from English, Northern Irish, and Welsh students fell by 9.9 per cent, 9.3 per cent, and 8.7 per cent, respectively.

Applications to UK universities now stand at 120,194 according to UCAS figures. At this time in 2010, the last admissions cycle before the introduction of £9,000 fees, 157,116 applications had been made. This represents an almost 24 per cent drop in applications at this point in the admissions cycle since 2010.

The number of students reapplying this year is also down by 10.4 per cent, following the failure of universities to fill empty places in clearing. Russell Group universities alone failed to fill 11,500 places.

By contrast, applications to UK universities by EU students, who pay no fees, fell by less than one per cent from last year’s figure.

The Russell Group and UCAS were dismissive of the numbers. UCAS chief executive Mary Curnock Cook said, “Although the number of applicants to UK higher education is down by eight per cent on this time last year, experience tells us that changes at this point in the cycle are a poor guide to final demand. For example, in the 2012 cycle the decrease in applicants in November was much greater than the final picture in January.”

But Pam Tatlow, chief executive of think tank million+, said that the numbers should serve as a wake up call to the government.

She said, “There is now a real risk that the trend towards widening opportunities that has been a feature of university admissions in recent years will be thrown into reverse. It would be a travesty if students and their families stopped seeing university for what it is an extraordinary once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, not just to improve career and employment prospects, but for inspiring lifelong interests and experiences.”

The National Union of Students (NUS) concurred, with president Liam Burns saying, “The government should now finally admit that its higher education policies are having a significant impact on application behaviour.

“Regardless of the repayment terms and the small print, students were always going to be deterred by £9,000 tuition fees.”

Tuesday December 4 2012

studentnewspaper.org

2 News

The Student Newspaper | 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJ Email: editors@studentnewspaper.org

News »p1-5

FACEBOOK MEGA LOLZ p 3

Comment »p6-8

WANTED OR NEEDED? p 7

Dillon Zhou looks at the outcome of Leveson on the press

features »p9-11 THE OLDEST PROFESSION p10

Rhona Broadhead investigates the state of prostitution and of sex workers

LIFESTYLE »p13 O LONELY NIGHT p13

Don't worry about lonely this Christmas writes Amelia Sanders

SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT » p15-17 END OF THE WORLD? p17

Felix Wiesner looks at the potential for a catastrophe to befall Earth

MUSIC »p24-25

ALBUM OF THE YEAR p24-5

The Music Section look at the year's best albums

FILM »p26-27

CHRISTMAS FILMS p26

Alasdair Drennan looks at the bestest Christmas films

SPORT »p30-32

INJURY TIME AWARDS p30

The Sport section give out awards to the most outstanding sports related things in a number of arbitrary categories

world economic forum

The News Section take a look at some potential problems with Facebook

BORIS JOHNSON: The Mayor of London has attacked government restrictions on international students

Boris Johnson criticises restrictions on overseas students

Lucinda Ross

After a six day visit to India, Boris Johnson has said that the government’s immigration restrictions are turning away some of the brightest overseas students.

Johnson believes that the fall in the number of Indian students applying to UK Universities could potentially send out the wrong message, which could have a negative impact on the 2.5bn revenue that universities earn as a result of overseas students studying in the country.

He told Indian students at Amity University, south of Delhi, that he is in the process of pushing the government to start up an educational exports commission to exempt overseas students from the tough visa restrictions.

The government’s decision to tighten the belt on the number of international students coming to the UK resulted in 350 Indian students and 2,500 international students having their university places put at risk.

The mayor of London said that this latest move has damaged the capital’s reputation for welcoming international students. With a nine per cent drop in Indian students applying to the UK, and a further 25 per cent drop forecasted for the following year, Boris Johnson made known his views to the home secretary, Theresa May. In a letter he further stated that the government should focus more on economic growth as opposed to a statistical focus of keeping net immigration levels low.

In an interview, Johnson said, “The government is right not to open the door to those who will simply be a drain on the state, but it’s crazy that we should be losing India’s top talent and global leaders of the future to Australia and the United States.”

Despite Johnson’s efforts to lower restrictions imposed on foreign students, the potential for high levels of net immigration to become a financial problem remains an issue.

With concerns that foreign students

are coming to Britain to enrol on dubious courses and staying for low paid jobs, the government instituted these restrictions in order to avoid immigrants using the UK’s university system as an excuse for staying in the country.

The restrictions state that students are allowed to stay in the country for up to two years after they graduate based upon whether they meet the minimum salary of £20,000; they can then renew this for a further six years depending on their salary.

Despite these major changes, Johnson says, “The most important thing is academic freedom — if people are genuine students and genuinely desire to learn and contribute to the economy there should be a system which allows them to travel from one major centre of learning to another, and that’s what we’re trying to achieve.”

Home Secretary Theresa May is to visit India this week where she will further discuss the issues on visas and immigration.

Ten new universities created

Alistair Grant

Ten new universities are to be created in England, universities minister David Willetts has announced.

The new universities are to be created from ten current higher education institutions, including Leeds Trinity University College and the Royal Agricultural College. The move is set to be the biggest change in the education sector since polytechnics were awarded university status in 1992.

The decision to make the new universities was facilitated by the government’s move to reduce the minimum student intake at a single university from 4000 to 1000.

In a statement last week, Willetts said of the proposals, “These wellknown and highly regarded university colleges represent over 1,200 years of history between them.”

He continued, “It is right to remove the barriers preventing high-quality, higher education providers like these

calling themselves universities simply because of their size.

“I am delighted that they have taken up the opportunity offered by our reforms. This will lead to the biggest creation of universities since 1992 and will enable more people to realise their aspiration of going to a university.”

Andy Westwood, chief executive of GuildHE, the body that represents the higher education institutions set for university status, told The Guardian, “Smaller and specialist institutions are long established – in most cases for longer than many UK universities – and often lead the league tables in areas such as teaching and employability.

They also have a strong reputation and impact in their localities and sectors, contributing to economic growth and to stronger, more vibrant communities.

“Gaining university title is long overdue and it helps to provide greater choice for students and for businesses, while enhancing the quality and diversity of the UK’s higher education sector

as a whole.”

Professor Chris Gaskell, Principle of the Royal Agricultural College, one of the higher education institutions set for university status, told the BBC, “‘University’ best describes what the institution does and aspires to do; university title will benefit our students, their employers and the industries to which they contribute - and agriculture, food and land management are some of the most important industries in the world today.”

In addition to these state institutions, up to three private colleges are to receive university status under the current proposals.

The move to create new universities has been criticised by some who point to the apparent hypocrisy of new universities being created at a time when increased fees are putting many young people off university and further education.

Tuesday December 4 2012

studentnewspaper.org

news@studentnewspaper.org

News 3

Wide range of Facebook friends leads to unhappiness

Rona Broadhead

According to a new report, having a wide range of social groups as friends on Facebook increases your stress levels.

The report describes how users worry that certain social groups will be offended by activities such as smoking, drinking and swearing which could be seen on the social networking site.

It found that on average, people have seven social circles on Facebook and having parents and employers as friends was most likely to cause anxiety.

Only a third of those surveyed used Facebook’s listed privacy settings, which enable users to present a restricted profile to certain groups of friends.

The research was conducted by Ben

Marder, an early career fellow in marketing at the University of Edinburgh Business School, as part of his PhD while at the University of Bath.

The paper has received international media coverage from The Daily Mail to The Huffington Post, reflecting a preoccupation for news stories about Facebook.

Entitled “Every post you make, every pic you take, I’ll be watching you: Behind social spheres on Facebook”, the report surveyed more than 300 Facebook users. Most participants were students averaging 21 years old, meaning the findings were specific to this group.

Speaking to The Student, Marder explained that his research was inspired by personal experience as Facebook “used to cause me a few problems in my past life.”

He had worried that his profile

would “paint me in a bad light” to colleagues and university supervisors and recalled that his mum got upset when he limited what she could see on his profile.

“

You present to multiple audiences with different expectations of what you ought to be... it's difficult to meet the expectations " Ben Marden, author of the new research into social media While he has a “love/hate relation-

The Student presents the best of Facebook strife...

ship with Facebook,” he remains a “massive Facebook fan” overall.

Reflecting on the results of the research, Marder said, “You present to multiple audiences with different expectations of what you ought to be and because of this it’s difficult to meet the expectations simultaneously.”

He believes that the limited use of privacy tools is not necessarily the fault of the user and that Facebook makes them “difficult to use within reason” for the site’s own benefit. His message to Facebook users is that, “You can protect yourself with privacy tools so use them.”

Another option is not to have family members or employers as Facebook friends.

For Alice Lacey, a University of Edinburgh Anthropology student, this is the preferable approach.

As she explained to The Student,

“I deleted my mum from Facebook because she kept dropping in things about my social life which I knew I hadn’t told her. She denied she’d been trawling through my Facebook page but I decided I wanted to be able to select what she knows about what I get up to.”

Shira Lappin, an Economics student, said, “I don’t really add work people on Facebook unless they’re actual friends. Family doesn’t bother me. It’s useful because most of my family live abroad. Both my grandmas have Facebook.”

Matt McDonald, an English Literature student at the university, also took a more tolerant attitude to relatives. He said, “It doesn’t bother me being friends with family members on Facebook. They know I drink and stuff. I wouldn’t want a potential employer snooping about though.”

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

news@studentnewspaper.org

4 News

@EdStudentNews

UK falls short on vocational education A Policy Exchange poll has found that a majority of adults believe that the UK’s university education system emphasises vocational training too little.

55 per cent of respondents said today’s students followed excessively narrow academic courses, while just 18 per cent said they believed universities struck an appropriate balance between academic and practical training.

The elite Russell Group of universities, of which the University of Edinburgh is a member, was quick to dismiss the poll’s findings, saying that Russell Group graduates are equipped with the correct skills to respond to the challenges of the future.

Dr. Wendy Piatt of the Russell Group said, “For the majority of the most academically-able students, a degree at a leading university is the right choice. Many of our students also study for qualifications such as medicine, dentistry and law which are both academic and vocational.”

A spokesman for Universities UK said, “In practice it is difficult to distinguish between vocational and academic subjects. Some subjects thought of as ‘traditional’ or ‘academic,’ such as law, medicine, architecture and engineering, are in fact largely vocational.”

Speaking of the poll, Dr. Owen Corrigan of Policy Exchange said, “This poll clearly shows that there is an appetite in Britain for a greater emphasis on job-related and practical learning in our education system.

“Neighboring countries offer strong technical and vocational routes through their education system and enjoy some of the lowest youth unemployment rates in Europe at present.

“Worryingly, roughly one in three

Rachel Coleman finch

Thurston Smalley

HANDS-ON: A majority of the public believes higher education undervalues vocational training students are dropping out from their A-level courses. For many learners an alternative route could provide better outcomes in terms of progression into work and further or higher education.

“It is time for Britain to give serious consideration to expanding and improving provision in technical and vocational education.”

The poll follows on the heels of a report highly critical of the quality of the UK’s apprenticeships. Doug Rich-

ard, the entrepreneur responsible for the report, said that apprenticeships must be “well regarded” so that they are not looked upon by employers as second-best alternatives to university and college qualifications.

The UK government holds a poor record on work experience and apprenticeships. Segments of the public hold the government in contempt on welfare-to-work following a series of scandals over the past year.

Last year, the government was accused of promoting “slave labour” for a scheme that offered unpaid apprenticeships and work experience programmes in supermarkets and high street chains.

If participants left the unpaid schemes for any reason, they faced losing their job seeker’s allowance.

The government faced further public ire when, just weeks after the withdrawal of several high street participants of the scheme amidst public

outrage, Prime Minister David Cameron’s handpicked chief of flagship welfare-to-work firm A4e resigned when it emerged she had rewarded herself £8.6 million in benefits even as multiple allegations of fraud emerged against the firm. Eight people from the firm, which at the time held a £200 million contract from the government, were arrested in connection with the alleged conspiracy, and the contract was terminated.

Christmas market comes to Edinburgh Last Thursday saw the return of Edinburgh’s successful Christmas Celebrations, with a spectacular opening day crammed with festivities to entertain locals, tourists and shoppers alike.

Events included the lighting of Edinburgh’s Christmas Tree (a gift from the inhabitants of Hordaland in Norway); a performance from a Christmas Brazilian Samba Band, the finalists of Edinburgh’s Got Talent and the cast of Dirty Dancing; and a fire show courtesy of ‘Flame Oz’. The festivities began at 10am and lasted until 8pm.

The popular German Market also saw its opening day on Thursday, with its eclectic mix of beer, mulled wine and unusual gifts proving a consistent hit with shoppers in previous years. Selling everything from biscuits, roasted chestnuts and bratwurst to wooden trinkets and hand-crafted ornaments, the market will remain open until 6 January next year.

Meanwhile, the ice rink or Winter

Wonderland situated in East Princes Street Gardens is set to pull in the crowds once more, boasting both a stunning view of the castle above and Europe’s largest open air ice rink.

Edinburgh is widely regarded as one of the best cities in Europe to spend Christmas, and with snow hitting the capital at the beginning of this week councillors and city officials alike will be hoping the success of the Christmas Celebrations will eclipse the marketing controversy that has plagued Edinburgh since October.

Marketing Edinburgh, the advertising firm behind an attempted rebranding and promotion of Scotland’s capital, received heavy criticism after its marketing slogans were deemed “twee” and “silly” by council leaders.

Despite this, their winter tourism campaign has utilised many of the rhyming slogans criticised by council officials earlier in the year, including ‘breakfastinbedinburgh’ and ‘wellfedinburgh’.

Charlotte Brady

Alistair Grant

CHRISTMAS MARKET: The view from the Mound

news@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

News 5

University of St Andrews criticised for admissions policy

Alex Shaw

The University of St Andrews has received criticism over its admission policy from the National Union of Students Scotland (NUS Scotland).

NUS Scotland described the university’s plans to increase intake of widening access students by six students a year “as miniscule by any standard.”

14 students from the poorest 20 per cent of Scottish neighbourhoods (according to the Scottish Index of Multiple Deprivation 20) gained entry to the University of St Andrews in 2011.

Scotland currently has the worst rate of widening access in the UK. Students from the most deprived 20 per cent of Scottish neighbourhoods accounted for 2.7 per cent of the University of St Andrew’s overall student intake.

In a press release, Robin Parker, President of NUS Scotland, said that universities “could do a great deal more”

in “promoting fair access” to university education.

“While [NUS Scotland accepts] the principle is welcome, [the University of St Andrew’s] plans will see only an additional six students per year enter St Andrews University in practice,” he said.

“

[The University of St Andrews] plans will see only an additional six students per year enter St Andrews University in practise" Robin Parker, President of NUS Scotland The NUS called for universities to do more to promote university

education in the wake of an increase in funding to Scottish universities. An additional £135 million will be received between the academic years 2011/2012 and 2014/2015.

NUS Scotland is a sub-body of the National Union of Students (NUS).

The group accounts for 95 per cent of all higher and further education unions in the UK, representing around 600 students’ unions.

The University of St Andrews is one of the most selective UK universities.

At present, one in ten applicants gain entry to the university.

Stephen Magee, the university’s Vice-Principal for Admissions, said in a press release that the university had been unfairly singled out. He said the issue was “not a question of any lack of commitment, will or investment in scholarships and bursaries... [St Andrews wants] Scotland’s brightest here, regardless of background.”

“We have a choice – we can continue to beat up our leading universities for failing to admit more kids from our most deprived areas, or we can start, without shame or blame, to ask if perhaps there is something going wrong throughout the whole equation,” he said.

“

[St Andrews wants] Scotland's brightest here, regardless of background."

Stephen Magee, Vice-Pincipal for Admissions at St Andrews

Similar initiatives have been proposed by other Scottish universities.

Earlier this year, the University of Glasgow announced aims to increase student intake from poorer back-

grounds by an extra 32 students a year by 2014. The University of Edinburgh similarly aims for a 50 per cent increase by 2016.

The news follows a jointly-commissioned report by the Sutton Trust and the Department for Business Innovation and Skills, which highlighted inequalities between state and independent school application rates to the most selective UK universities.

Commenting on the issue, a University of Edinburgh spokesperson said: “[The University of Edinburgh seeks] to ensure that suitably qualified students who demonstrate academic potential are encouraged to apply to the University, regardless of the school or college they have attended, where they live or their social and cultural background.”

Milking: new internet craze among UK students

“

The cream of Britain's youth: rich and thick" Online comment in response to the trend

It isn’t a sardonic grassroots movement in aid of fair prices for British dairy farmers. Nor is it an advocacy campaign on the importance of calcium and vitamin D. Rather, it is a celebration of modern-day absurdism, a rejection of the shackles of rationality, an exercise in unabashed frivolity. It is, in other words, completely and utterly pointless.

The original concept video, titled ‘Milking Newcastle’, has amassed over half a million views in the week since it was posted. The three-minute clip features a montage of Newcastle students dousing themselves with milk in environments as varied as front steps, train stations, rubbish bins, shopping streets and club queues. Passers-by hover in the background, agape. Quick edits and a rousing soundtrack lend it the quasi-professionalism of a skateboarding highlights reel. No words are spoken; no words are necessary.

“We were just in our kitchen talking about doing it outside Starbucks and thought it would be really funny,” one of the video’s makers told The Daily Mail.

The zany originality of the movie

“

We didn't expect a reaction this large" Maker of the original 'milking' video

‘Milking Newcastle’ has predictably inspired numerous replicate videos of milking in action. Students in Edinburgh, as well as in Canterbury, Oxford, Birmingham, Lancaster and Nottingham, have all made tributary videos, and more appear daily.

“We didn’t except a reaction this large,” another maker of the original video said.

The trend has captured the attention of news organizations as wide-ranging as The Daily Mail, The Guardian and The Courier Mail in Australia. .

The general public reaction has been mixed. Many online commentators unabashedly love it; others decry the waste of food. Countless others capitalise on the opportunity to make milk puns.

“First world self righteousness,” one user lamented. “Don’t cry over spilt milk,” another retorted.

“The cream of Britain’s youth: rich and thick,” one user summarised.

Even a local Newcastle councillor decided to wade into the fray, tweeting: “Not sure students are helping their public image with milking stunt.”

Whether the trend will carve its place in the annals of Internet history or fall to irrelevancy remains to be seen.

Undeterred, milkers press onward, their future as vaguely defined as their purpose.

MILKING nEWCASTLE

AMID TUITION hike protests and seasonal exam stress, British students have found an unlikely new source of communal solidarity: milk.

Under the evocative title of ‘milking’, the new Internet trend has attracted the support of students from elite universities from all corners of the UK. The concept is devastatingly simple: walk to crowded public area with video camera, open litre-sized milk jug, pour liberally onto face. Post to YouTube.

Rinse. Repeat.

caught the attention of a Newcastle student newspaper, which featured it on its website. It quickly became one of the most talked about and shared videos on campus, and its popularity spread far beyond. As with previous pointless yet successful trends, such as ‘planking’ and ‘batmanning’, its effectiveness derives from its addictive simplicity and its easy reproducibility.

DON'T CRY OVER SPILT MILK: Bizarre internet craze sparks some commentators' ire

MILKING nEWCASTLE

Ethan DeWitt

GETTING MILKED: New student trend goes viral

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

6 Comment #EdUni

Feeling opinionated? Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper comment@studentnewspaper.org

Slow-paced progress, Team GB & Weed www.bbc.co.uk

Daniel Swain takes a look at the last year's news, and tries in vain to put it into a themed box and gift wrap it for Christmas

LONNDON 2012: The Olympics took place to much public cheer The past year has played host to, more than anything else, a series of incremental changes that lean towards huge strides in the future of humanity. 2012 has seen a range of reforms in many countries that have placed the future of humanity on the correct path.

The cause of gay marriage has seen the greatest boon since the introduction of civil partnerships, as countries across the world and even some US States legalised gay marriage or saw the debate progress to the point where its introduction was absolutely inevitable, such as in the UK. Gay rights also

saw legislative backing in the Russian Federation, a country infamous for its widespread homophobia. Whilst such legislation will not change society instantly, it will point it in the right direction for years to come. Homosexual rights, however, were not universally advanced, as President Hollande defaulted on his election promise to extend access to IVF treatment to same-gender couples in France, and the battle over Uganda’s controversial ‘Kill the Gays’ bill raged.

Marijuana also continued its hazy march towards legalisation in many Western countries as they followed the

long-standing Dutch model. In the 2012 US election the states of Washington and Colorado legalised recreational use of the drug, which only became illegal in the United States under the Roosevelt administration due to the smear campaign of William Randolph Hearst.

The US election in general indicated a shift within the United States itself, as a party which appealed so explicitly to white Americans was defeated by one which offered a much more progressive, cosmopolitan view of the United States.

Whilst there is much expectation about Obama’s next four years – and it is doubtful he can fulfil every single thing on the liberal wish list – his reelection puts America on the correct course for the reform of its ramshackle immigration and healthcare systems, its outlook on the environment, its approach to taxation, its assessment of its place in the global system of powers, and its approach to its own internal ‘values’ – finally breaking away totally from the dominance of the JudeoChristian, white nativist dominance of the past.

In addition, the ‘fiscal cliff ’, which presents 2012 with the potential for a

final far more dramatic than Spain’s evisceration of Italy in the European Championship’s ultimate match, also presents the United States with an opportunity to rethink its approach to taxing the rich and how it treats public services.

In the Middle East, the energy of the Arab Spring continued to disrupt the post-war power structure, as a bloody and destructive civil war took hold of Syria. Whilst the suffering of thousands upon thousands of Syrians as a result of a tyrannical regime clinging to power is horrific and should not be celebrated, it does signal that the end is nigh for one of the last dictatorships in the Middle East. Progress was not universal however, as movements against Bahrain faced setbacks, and the last dictator in Europe, Aleksander Lukashenko, led his party to a unanimous (rigged) election victory.

Meanwhile, the brief conflict in Gaza as a result of Israel’s ‘Operation: Pillar of Cloud’ has led to the UN’s recognition of Palestine as a non-member observer. This diplomatic victory for the Palestinian Authority means it is almost untenable for western powers to ignore the conflict between Israel and Palestine any longer, and a solution

must be sought by the international community. Though US and UK abstentions indicate potential heel-dragging and though China and Russia voted in favour, their own continued human rights disasters in Tibet and Chechnya suggest that they are more interested in spiting their fellow security council seat-holders than achieving a victory for human progress.

In Britain, the calendar was dominated by the 2012 London Olympics, which saw much excitement as Team GB stormed to the best conceivable place of third and the country fell in love with the many lovable sports personalities among the Olympians. The boosting of confidence across the land was the second best thing to happen as a result of the games, after the heavy dilution of the BNP’s brand.

Whilst 2012 was no year to best any others in the grand scheme of history, it was a great year for certain causes as they took huge victories in advancing freedoms and improving the world for many people.

It was a mixed bag, as any arbitrary analysis of a period of time is. But it was one which can provide hope for the future, providing we don’t all die on the 21st. #Mayans

NUS party politics overshadowing protest

www.demotix.com

Daniel Kraemer criticises the effectiveness of Demo2012 and calls for a new, creative approach to political demonstration

No ifs, no buts, snow education cuts: Protesters protesting The aim of a national demonstration should be to put an issue on the national agenda, to get people talking about it and therefore to challenge the government to address it. Media coverage is a vital part of this process and a protest, just like any other political act, is unlikely to be effective without a media presence. On the evening of this month’s NUS demo, there was no sign of any related story on the front page

of the BBC News website, and it was number eleven in the UK’s top stories.

Newspapers covered the story, but most focused on the embarrassment for NUS caused by the egging of their president Liam Burns at the waterlogged rally.

The failure of the demonstration reflects the steady decline in genuine protest. It has become sterile, sapped of any spontaneity and unlikely to have an effect on anyone but the annoyed com-

muters who wait whilst the protective shell of police jackets escorts the troublemakers down main roads. As the police have developed their response, protest has become a pre-planned joint effort between police and demonstrators.

In the case of the NUS demo, this took the form of route negotiations between the police and the NUS, headed by a man who personally prefers affecting change through the national political party system. The result was an hour’s walk through residential south London, accompanied by a gradual decrease in volume as students realised their chants were reaching only their own ears, echoing off terraced houses.

It seems as though protests only get serious coverage if they involve balaclava-clad youths smashing windows and burning effigies of their favourite Tories. People are aware of this, and there were probably a number of students sitting on the return coaches two weeks ago wishing something had kicked off.

The dilemma between the conformist stroll and the riot is a result of the lack of a middle-ground.

This is partly down to the criminalisation of more creative protests such as the occupation of Fortnum and Mason

in 2010, as well as the way the media works. But a share of the blame can be put on the organisers too.

“

Focusing on party politics will alienate the majority of students" I don’t know how the negotiations developed, but if bodies like the NUS consent to routes that end up in places like Kennington Common, people will start looking for alternatives. The lacklustre results of this protest have been blamed by some on Burns’ lack of enthusiasm for protest in general. He aims instead to influence the Labour Party manifesto, pushing student issues on think-tanks such as Compass.

This is commendable, but it should not replace demonstration and activism as the sole vehicle for pushing change.

It goes without saying that focusing on party politics will alienate the majority of students; not only because they are not all Labour supporters, but because it stops the student movement from being a mass movement.

If we are to shift public attention towards education issues, we

need mass mobilisation like we saw at the 2010 demonstration, not just the mobilisation of NUS delegates.

This will require a tougher position from organisations such as the NUS to challenge the emerging status quo, which has pushed out the middle ground between lifeless walks and Millbank-style riots.

For example, there was a moment of opportunity at this month’s demonstration when everyone paused close to the Houses of Parliament, with certain groups urging everyone to stay put on Westminster Bridge, before the organisers managed to persuade the demo to keep moving along the agreed route.

The effects of the day would have been very different if, instead of continuing into the depths of the suburbs, we’d refused to move from Westminster Bridge. With curious Parliamentarians peering out of their office windows and an impressive media pack, an impact would have been made. Instead, the resulting image of the student movement was defeatist, divided and ineffectual.

For student protests to have any impact, they need to accept the need for creativity and a little disruption, and to look past the false dichotomy of violence and submission.

Feeling opinionated? Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper Tuesday December 4 2012 comment@studentnewspaper.org studentnewspaper.org

Comment 7 #EdUni

A pressing issue for UK media

Dillon Zhou explores the debate surrounding press regulation after the release of the Leveson Report It is certain that British press regulation will soon change. The Press Complaints Commission, which has been performing this role, is already being disbanded. The question is: change of what kind?

Published last Thursday, the findings of the Leveson Inquiry into the culture, practices and ethics of the press recommends a new independent, self-regulatory body underpinned by legislation.

Commissioned last July in response to the phone hacking scandals at News of the World, the report endorses a halfway house between unadulterated self-regulation (the status quo) and statutory regulation with all the teeth and claws of full legislative backing.

Parliament immediately divided itself into two opposing positions on the issue. The crucial decision to be made concerns whether any new laws are needed to eradicate the excesses of journalistic behaviour. Cameron disagrees. Miliband and Clegg agree.

It is thus uncertain what exactly a parliamentary vote, if one occurs, will address. A hotchpotch of Labour, Liberal Democrat and disobedient Conservative votes is a possibility because the coalition is unlikely to vote unanimously.

Whatever the outcome, Leveson’s proposals will not be realised in full.

Calls for a faster system of arbitration for potential victims are well-founded and justified. Under the current system, only 36 out of 2360 complaints were adjudicated in 2002. A new arrangement which will effectively address these complaints is a good call of judgement.

However, reforming press regulation is nothing new and whatever changes are made are unlikely to be permanent. The British press has worked on a basis of self-regulation since the 1950s with the creation of the voluntary Press Council. From inception, the problem of journalistic intrusion has been brought into the public consciousness again and again, and each time there have been calls for statutory regulation. Relatively recently, following the death of Princess Diana, demands for better privacy protection led to substantial changes in the code of conduct for the press.

The phone hacking exposé incited such a strong public reaction that the government had no choice but to call for a broad investigation into the whole of the British press, despite the fact that the problems have proved to be specific and localised. Specific in that they are largely to do with defamation and underhand means of acquiring information, which includes publishing deeply private information which

reflects unfairly on the parties involved.

The problems are localised in that they do not affect the entire industry, but can be attributed almost exclusively to one newspaper, with many publications such as the Financial Times and the Guardian not being found guilty.

The UK’s most highly reputed dailies adhere to a high standard both in their content and in the practices of their contributors; British journalism as a whole is still cutting-edge.

“

The efficacy of Leveson's proposals remains a central problem” There are already mechanisms in place to deal with the illegal actions of journalists. The News of the World was shut down in July 2011, only three days after revelations that it had accessed the voicemail of a murdered teenager. The parallel police investigation has already led to more than 90 arrests, including that of former News of the World executive editor Neil Wallis.

The law allows for retribution after a crime is committed, and its punishments serve to discourage potential

future offenders; journalists are already being reprimanded for their crimes.

Preventing problems before they occur by monitoring the day-to-day activities of the press is an unrealistic goal which would infringe on its freedom and vitality. Punishing the law-breakers is a sufficient deterrent.

The efficacy of Leveson’s proposals remains a central problem. Creating new legislation and institutions is not a guarantor of compliance, which is the case for the effectiveness of all policy over the course of practice. But the press and other media industries still face a set of daunting obstacles. News is now multi-platform and becoming exponentially more pluralistic. The definition of news and the practice of its gathering and dissemination are undergoing rapid and permanent change; trying to control it during such a period of flux is becoming a particularly tricky business. It remains unclear what exactly will be regulated. Will it be all journalists or only those working for print organisations? Only newspaper content or digital platforms too?

The worry that intolerable behaviour will continue is still present, no longer restricted to tabloids, but also anonymously online. That hurdle is perhaps one to be cleared another year.

UKIP fostering localist support derekbennetteu-sceptic.blogspot.com

Kelly-Leigh Cooper discusses the implications of the UKIP foster parent case for Rotherham

CHEEKY: UKIP's Nigel Farage looking like Christmas has come early For the first time in 90 years, the traditionally Labour stronghold of Rotherham looked under threat, or at least its security looked in relative doubt in this week’s by-election. The timing of the UKIP social services debacle couldn’t have come at a worse time for Labour, or a better one for the UKIP party itself.

The expenses scandal leading to Labour MP Denis MacShan’s resignation would have been enough to leave a bad taste in voters’ mouths, but the handling of the consequent by-election candidate selection process has been a farcical display of the problems with the supposed democratic process, following a largescale boycott by local ministers.

On 14th November, with less than six hours notice ahead of the local con-

stituency candidate selection meeting, higher Labour authority ignored all the suggested local candidates and instead offered only a ballot between two candidates who both live outside of the constituency itself. Instead of a ‘rubberstamp’ reaction to the decision, almost three quarters of those attending the meeting walked out in disgust at the dismissal of popular local candidates. Sarah Champion was chosen to represent the party with a majority of just 13 votes to 11; staggering when considered that there are 113 party members who are supposed to elect their parliamentary candidates within Rotherham.

Meanwhile, UKIP leader Nigel Farage and his party have been granted a golden opportunity in the form of a PR fallout following the forced separa-

tion of a previously happy foster family because the UKIP member parents, in the words of Rotherham’s Director of Children’s Services, Joyce Thacker, held “strong views” on immigration and integrationist Europe, made them somehow unsuitable to look after “not indigenous white” children. Milliband was quick to criticise the decision and demand investigation into this bigoted incompetence, but this was clearly influenced by his awareness of the looming by-election.

“

The UKIP social services debacle couldn't have come at a worse time for Labour or a better one for the UKIP party itself” Champion was thrust into a blazing furore at the reaction of her own party to her unwanted presence, as well as national outrage at the children’s services’ decision. Embarrassed by the events, she withdrew from a Radio Sheffield debate in order to avoid awkward questions about the affair, which ultimately had nothing to do with her.

It isn’t just UKIP who threatened to make gains on Labour’s whopping 10,462 majority; George Galloway’s Respect party look strong too. However, a surprise victory by them as seen in Bradford earlier on in the year looks unlikely given the strength of Labour’s majority. The local Labour party have made complaints about the alleged conduct of the Respect party in a local smear

campaign against them, during which leaflets titled ‘Respect Yourself ’ were distributed to a number of local Asian households, claiming that the Labour party are prone to “anti-Islamic bigotry” and are a party of “closet-racists”.

On Thursday night, the results revealed that Champion had retained the Labour seat, and the party had succeeded in other by-elections in Middlesborough and Croydon North. However, UKIP came second in the Rotherham result, marking extreme gains for the party which is becoming increasingly populist. Nigel Farage said, “Our previous best-ever by-election result, a fortnight ago, was 14.3 per cent and this one is comfortably over 20 per cent.

Whichever way you look at it, UKIP is on the rise”.

The party is looking to be a popular option for those angry at the mainstream parties’ incompetence at dealing with the problems faced by Britain today. UKIP is traditionally associated with middle class ex-Tory voters, but their outstanding success in a Labour stronghold reveals just how much the party is beginning to thrive in the current political climate. Both the Conservatives’ and the Liberal Democrats’ support crumbled in the by-elections, with the Tories coming in fifth place in Rotherham, and the Lib-Dems in eighth, disturbingly just behind the BNP. Although Labour took a small hit, the real losers have been exposed in these disastrous results for the coalition parties, showing just how disillusioned voters are with what they’ve seen during their tenure.

A Very Korean Christmas Kim Jong-un is going to be a very happy boy this Christmas, and the excitement is already settling in.

For the past few nights he’s been far too excited to sleep and has been jumping up and down on his bed incessantly in anticipation of the big day.

His letter to Santa was clearly received this year, and in another somewhat questionable judgment by the bearded man in the red coat, Kim Jong-un was deemed to have been a good boy and a huge stack of presents were delivered early – about 400 years ahead of the rest of North Korea.

Needless to say, they were of the highest quality and Kim simply could not wait another three weeks to open them. Many commentators have blamed Kim’s father for this brattish behaviour, by failing to instill a proper system of discipline while Kim Jong-un was a child.

However, Kim’s dad, who died of a mixture of ‘overwork’ and blocked arteries from eating too many giant rabbits, was unable to stop his son getting a state of the art rocket which will be blasted into space this month.

One thing Kim Jong-un’s father should be praised for, however, is stimulating his son’s imagination.

This has helped our pudding-headed friend cope with the recent discovery of a unicorn lair in the North Korean countryside.

This miraculous discovery is made even more remarkable by the knowledge that the unicorn marked its territory by writing ‘Unicorn Lair’ on a rectangular rock in front of the entrance to its hideout, despite lacking the fingers and opposable thumb required to hold a pen.

With all these beautiful gifts, it is unsurprising that Kim Jong-un is reeling the women in. He’s already nabbed himself a cute, singing sensation of a wife, Ri Sol-ju, and now it appears that every female reader of The Onion is after him as well. In what was clearly a satirical piece, The Onion proclaimed the North Korean leader to be the sexiest man alive.

Since it’s Christmas, the world is keeping quiet about the satirical nature of this article to avoid upsetting Kim. But, the 55 page spread in The People’s Daily, the newspaper of the Chinese Communist Party, exhibiting countless photos of the North Korean leader in his ‘sexiest’ poses is stretching the truth a little too far.

This Christmas, Kim Jong-un has once again triumphed over his arch nemesis which threatens to undermine the very foundation of his kingdom – irrefutable logic.

Stephen Maughan

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Feeling opinionated? Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper comment@studentnewspaper.org

8 Comment #EdUni

A lousy Christmas for Nadine

Mr Market

“

Dorries came across as typically self-interested and in pursuit of fleeting fame" At face value we might be inclined to admire Dorries’ initiative. Reality television shows such as I’m a Celebrity (which are seemingly based on casual torture and confined spaces) have proven popular. Her televisual appearance could be construed as a clever attempt on her part to introduce topical issues of public importance to an audience that is, for the most part, politically apathetic. Dorries states that it was her intention all along to appeal to the electorate through participating in “a show watched by millions of ordinary voters.”

The problem is that the most important component of the electorate, her voters in mid-Bedfordshire, failed

to see the advantages of their democratic representative eating bits of an animal carcass in Australia, whilst they remained at home with their needs unaddressed. If we are to assume that Dorries’ intention was indeed to increase voter participation and make politics more accessible, she is to be admired. Voter apathy is a big problem in the UK; all too often politicians come across as haughty, self-important and self-serving. Thus any attempt on the part of an MP to address the situation in a way that transcends party-politics and personal advantage is to be congratulated.

The problem is that Dorries’ strategy did not manage to do this. She espoused views on abortion and euthanasia and

was instantly censored by ITV Editors; several of the key political issues she attempted to highlight were cut from the programme. The final programme, therefore, contained very little evidence of Dorries’ attempts to spark political debate, meaning her participation in the show was pointless. Dorries came across as self-interested and in pursuit of fleeting fame. Perhaps she was naive to assume that her aim could be fulfilled in a programme popularised by its depiction of C-List celebrities having breakdowns on rope-bridges.

Dorries’ long-term aim of encouraging greater political engagement among the apathetic members of the British electorate is commendable, but the method she used in order to achieve

mirror online

Nadine Dorries, Conservative MP for Mid-Bedfordshire, arrived back in the UK last week to a hailstorm of controversy. After defying the parliamentary whip in order to take her place in the Australian wilderness earlier this month, Dorries appeared on ITV’s I’m a Celebrity programme, intending to use the show as a platform for the promotion of pressing political and social issues.

POOR JUDGEMENT: Dorries' TV appearance did nothing for her image

it was ill-judged. Her decision was to the detriment of her constituents, who turned on their televisions to see their MP sitting in front of a jungle campfire, rather than voicing their grievances in parliament. In addition, her decision to participate is likely to breed disaffection among those who see political culture in the UK as a meal ticket for self-interested careerists.

The obvious case that we can draw a parallel with is that of George Galloway’s appearance on Big Brother. The MP appeared on the show in January 2006 and was lambasted by the public and politicians alike for neglecting the needs of his constituents in the pursuit of fame. His constituents saw their MP humiliate himself in various absurd and degrading scenarios. Both were undoubtedly seeking to advance their public exposure and both neglected the needs of their constituents in order to attain it. Yet, whether you agree with her political stance or her decision to appear on reality television, Dorries’ motivations are more likely to be rooted in some sort of naïve but genuine conviction, rather than just plain egotism.

Ultimately then, Nadine Dorries made a grave error in judgement, yet she highlights an important point and adds to the discourse resulting from it: politics is all too often inaccessible to the average voter. She may have escaped the Australian jungle, but Westminster is likely to be just as hot, humid and uncomfortable for Dorries in the months ahead.

A bleak report from the TUC

Jonny Ross-Tatam argues the incoming spending cuts will hit the poorest people in Britain hardest

A recent report from the Trade Union Congress, TUC, has laid bare the sheer inequality of George Osborne’s austerity plan, demonstrating how the Chancellor of the Exchequer’s axe to public services will be falling hardest on the poorest people in society.

“

These findings help expose the lie, voiced continually by the Prime Minister, that ‘we're all in this together’" The report found that by 2016-7, the cumulative cost of scrapped public services for the poorest ten per cent of households will amount to £3, 995 – or 31.7 per cent of their average annual income. This is in stark contrast to the impact of the public sector cuts on the richest ten per cent of Britons with estimates suggesting only 2.5 per cent of their annual earnings will be lost. This is because the wealthiest in society are more likely to opt out of state schooling and healthcare run by the NHS; they will not need government bursaries for higher education and are less likely to

use public transport or call on services such as Sure Start centres for children.

Therefore, the impact of these cuts will be most acutely felt by the poorest people in the UK. In any case, these findings help expose the lie, voiced continually by the Prime Minister, that “we are all in this together”.

The report also reveals how families are, and will be, the hardest hit from Mr. Osborne’s axe to public services.

This is particularly due to cuts in further and higher education, with services in this area set to see a 42.4 per cent fall in real terms by 2016/17. Nursery and pre-school education are also set to experience a 24.7 per cent reduction by 2016/17.

“

Yet it is not only, to use the Chancellor's words, the 'shirkers' who are set to suffer from the cuts to public services" In an economic climate where raising a child is hard enough, the Chancellor plans to make it even harder; the report’s findings show that “working families will lose more than unemployed

people without children”. Unemployed people with children will be the worst hit, with a single unemployed parent or an unemployed couple with children set to lose between 27.4 and 28 per cent of their yearly income by 2016/17. Yet it is not only, to use the Chancellor's words, the “shirkers”, who are set to suffer from the cuts to public services; families with working members will also lose out. A single, working parent for instance is set to lose around £6,200 or 15.3 per cent of their average annual income by 2016/17 as a result of these cuts.

With a wounded and stuttering economy, is it really sensible to squeeze the disposable income of working parents and families further? Mr. Osborne’s method of slashing public services to reduce the national deficit has not worked in any European country so far, but according to recent forecasts from the Office for Budget Responsibility, his cuts are set to continue beyond 2017/18. Even Tory journalists, such as Peter Hoskin of Conservative Home, and Conservative backbenchers in the House of Commons have called for Mr. Osborne to reconsider the extent of his cuts.

All this demonstrates the distressing injustice of the Chancellor’s austerity plans. Those with low- to middle-level incomes are being made to pay dispro-

portionately for a crisis primarily caused by irresponsible bankers and politicians.

Wherever one lays the blame, it was certainly not the responsibility of those who are bearing the brunt of Mr. Osborne’s stringent cuts to public services. To rub salt into the wound, while these families continue to suffer undeserved punishment, the richest in society have been given a five per cent reduction in income tax in the 2010 Budget. The frightening thing is that if the Chancellor sticks to his target for reducing the deficit, threequarters of the cuts to public services are still to come.

“

Those with low to middle-level incomes are being made to pay disproportionately for a crisis primarily caused by irresponsible bankers" In his famous speech in The Great Dictator, Charlie Chaplain makes a plea for men to recognise the “love of humanity” in their hearts. It appears that the coalition elite have lost this basic human quality.

Yasmin Morgan-Griffiths

Conor Penn argues Nadine Dorries failed to spark political debates by appearing on I'm a Celebrity

The present situation on the stocking exchange this week is good.

Mr Market is holly behind the advent of 75cl Stella at Sainsbury’s, which he encourages everyone to invest in, possibly accounting for their rise of 2.98 per cent. Morrisons have also had a merry start to the season with a glittering 3.27 per cent. It's not only supermarkets that are profiting from the season, but also the weapons industry, with BAE Systems near the top of the table at a growth of 5.61 percent. It seems consumers want something more than a sparkler this New Year, seeking monumental firework displays – or perhaps Santa will be delivering full size army toys this year.

It is predicted that Father Christmas’s expected visits down chimneys nationwide will coincide with a spurt of frenzied mince pie making, as children and parents prepare to leave out sherry and pies. Naturally this leaves Tate and Lyle at the bottom of the table, down by 0.06 percent. On that note, have a sweet Christmas and don’t overdo the sherry (but of course do). Have a profitable New Year and, as ever, dropping in a seasonal beverage would be just angelic of you.

James Taylor

#EdUni Tweets

The Top 3 Tweets of the Week

#EdUni @Postcards_Gods This is more than a library. This is the jungle. Despair, Learning and Mating Rituals all in one place. #EdUni - @@mikix90 Why are there so many people in weird hats on a regular basis in the History, Classics & Archaeology Dept? #eduni - @Tylerlizzie Person on the computer next to me was staring at his desktop background (the Milky Way) for a good minute. High in the library? #EdUni - @leomichelmore

#EdUni Tweets Join the Conversation

Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper features@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Features 11

Morsi: A change for Egypt?

Cameron Taylor looks at how Egypt has changed since its revolution in early 2011, and the challenges still facing it authority, essentially bypassing the judiciary. Morsi himself has stated that these measures are necessary and are part of Egypt’s continuing transition to true democracy, and that they are only temporary until Egyptians can vote on their new constitution.

Morsi’s new declarations essentially remove the possibility of challenge by the Supreme Court to any decisions he makes, giving him carte blanche over the Egyptian political sphere.

However, the strength of feeling against these new presidential powers has been clearly visible. Egyptian

khalid albaih

It has been nearly two years since protesters took to the streets and the now iconic Tahrir Square in Cairo to demand that Egyptian leader Hosni Mubarak relinquish his grasp on power. Mubarak resigned in February 2011 and Egypt has since successfully held democratic elections and moved away from a dictatorial regime.

Egypt’s newly elected President Mohammed Morsi has recently sparked outrage and protests by giving himself sweeping powers by invoking an emergency decree that means his decisions cannot be over-ruled by any

THE RIGHT MAN? Some wonder if Morsi will take Egypt forward

people once again took to the streets to protest against the way in which their country was being run.

When Morsi took power on June 30 of last year, the country wanted a separation of powers that would stop Egypt being ruled by a dictator once again.

“

How does Egypt look, almost two years since ousting its dictator in search for democracy, and what is the political landscape after an understandably difficult and tense transitional period?"

However, these latest developments seem to be pulling in the opposite direction from the sentiments of the population that so evidently wanted to depose Mubarak. So how does Egypt look, almost two years since ousting its dictator in search for democracy, and what is the political landscape after an understandably difficult and tense transitional period?

Within months of being appointed, Morsi transferred powers to himself that were previously allocated to the Supreme Council of the Armed Forces (Scaf ), which served as the governing body between Mubarak’s resignation and the culmination of the elections.

He reshuffled those at the top of the military and granted the presidency hegemony over legislative authority.

This is not to say that these measures were greeted with protest and anger, as the Egyptian public largely saw them as necessary in reworking the governmental system following the departure of Mubarak. However, this concentration of powers demonstrated the start of a trend that would eventually bring people out onto the streets to protest in the same way that they had done against their previous leader.

The nature of the Muslim Brotherhood, to which the president belongs, also has a role in ascertaining the delicate balance of power in Egypt.

The Brotherhood per se is not a political party, but the Freedom and Justice party is its political wing and the party of which Morsi is a member. The Brotherhood has a long and chequered past in Egypt. Since being founded in 1928 it has gone through various stages of being legitimised and supported by

Egypt’s rulers and also stages of being outlawed and its members arrested and tortured. Since the 2011 revolution and the Muslim Brotherhood’s legitimisation, it has become the biggest and arguably most coherent political organisation in Egypt. The Freedom and Justice party stands by many of the central tenets of the Brotherhood, though the latter is more ostensibly Islamist.

Egypt’s recent history is one dominated by strong, patriarchal governments. Since 1952, Egypt has only been ruled by four men: Nasser, Sadat, Mubarak, and now Morsi. This is not to say that Egyptians have an atypical predilection for strong, male leaders, but history does have a strong influence on the present. Religion is also a highly important factor when looking at Egyptian society. The Muslim Brotherhood is an overtly Islamist party, wanting to enshrine the teachings of the Qu’ran in law and the Freedom and Justice Party opposes having either a woman or a Coptic Christian as president because of its Islamic leaning.

The military, although weakened

by Morsi’s withdrawal of powers from the Scaf, still holds a great deal of power in Egypt. The last three rulers all came from military backgrounds and held the military in high esteem and privilege throughout their rules.

Military-owned industries account for a large, if classified, portion of Egypt’s economy and the country has a standing army of around half a million soldiers. The military influence extends over the civilian population in many ways, not only in infrastructure and developmental projects, but in the appointment of numerous ex-military officials to high civilian office.

The military and the Muslim Brotherhood came into conflict over the result of the election, with members of the Brotherhood fearing that the Scaf were going to hand power to an ex-Mubarak appointee and bypass the actual results of the election. This did not happen and Morsi was duly elected to the Presidency but the size and influence of the military is important because it, in theory, serves as a counterweight to any overextension of presidential power, especially now after the revolution.

If anything is clear, it is that the nascent democratic movement in Egypt is being pulled in different directions by different powerful factors. On the one hand, we encounter an elected president viewed as either seeking to create a solid and long lasting democratic political system, or as moving dangerously towards consolidating

powers to an equal or even greater level than Mubarak. On the other hand, the Islamist roots and views of the ruling party have to be reconciled with creating a new constitution to rule the country, whilst an expectant public demand the continuation of the revolution and reform and the military stand as a powerful force and are sometimes depicted as a law unto themselves.

Morsi’s insistence that his new powers will only last until Egyptians can vote on a new constitution will not end debate, even if his promises hold true.

The draft constitution has divided the public by relying on a basis of Sharia law and a similar wording to the previous Mubarak-era constitution. Whilst the Muslim Brotherhood insist that the draft is inclusive and represents everyone in Egyptian society, liberal commentators have criticised it for being too Islam-centric in a country with a large Christian population, and human rights activists have said that it does not aid enshrinement of fundamental rights and protections. But whilst the liberal voices of dissent are loud, they have not formed themselves into such coherent units as the Muslim Brotherhood and the Freedom and Justice Party.

“

The wheels have not come off of Egypt's revolution, but they are certainly not turning fast enough or in the right direction for some" The wheels have not come off of Egypt’s revolution, but they are certainly not turning fast enough or in the right direction for some. This is not unexpected; the transition from dictatorship to democracy is rarely quick and even more rarely completely smooth.

Key to whether Egypt can continue down the path that the protests in Tahrir square nearly two years ago wanted is whether the different factions and old divisions of Egyptian society can pull together. This is not to say that some debates either have simple solutions or will disappear forever, nor should they in a healthy democracy.

The challenge that Morsi faces is how to form a legitimate government and a new constitution that serves the interest of all of Egypt, if indeed that is what he desires. Egypt’s fortunes, as in the past, largely rely on the decisions of one man.

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper features@studentnewspaper.org

10 Features

Protecting working girls

Rona Broadhead examines the criminalisation of and legislation debates for prostitution

“

Attitudes towards prostitution vary by city and Edinburgh takes a much more tolerant approach than Glasgow; often descirbed as the east/ west divide" Grant identifies her motivation as a violence against women (VAW) and gender equality agenda, explaining that “a woman is not a commodity to be bought and sold.” The VAW Prevention network in Scotland, a network of organisations and activists campaigning to end gender-based violence against women, views commercial sexual exploitation including prostitution as a form of violence against women.

They believe it is both damaging to the individuals who work in prostitution and to women in society generally. The Scottish Government also takes this line.

However, groups campaigning for sex workers rights, such as the Inter-

national Union of Sex Workers, argue that this is a homogenous view that does not take into account the diversity of sex work and those who become prostitutes through choice. The sex worker rights movement opposes the criminalisation of sex work and argues that instead of preventing prostitution and protecting sex workers it drives the industry underground and makes conditions more dangerous for sex workers.

Scot-Pep, an Edinburgh-based organisation, is one of the leading campaigning groups for sex workers in Scotland. They have been running for 20 years and previously provided vital health and information services to sex workers until their funding was cut by NHS Lothian in 2009. Run by volunteers, approximately 80 per cent of their campaign group is made up of former or current sex workers. ScotPep describes the government’s current stance on sex work as “discriminatory, disempowering and demeaning”. The organisation supports the complete decriminalisation of sex work and has been a prominent voice against efforts to further criminalise sex work in Scotland.

George Lewis, co-chair of Scot-Pep, views Grant’s proposal as counterproductive. He believes it would “make things much more dangerous for those involved,” as prostitution would “not be eradicated [but] moved to the margins of society” if Grant’s proposal became law. Scot-Pep is highly critical of the lack of evidence and reliable research used in campaigns and proposals for further criminalisation of sex work.

The International Union of Sex Workers have pointed out that a key statistic in Grant’s proposal – that 75 per cent of women in prostitution in the UK became involved when they were children – is highly misrepresentative, as it is taken from a study of sex workers aged between nine and 19.

Lee, one of the most outspoken sex workers in the UK, has been campaigning for decriminalisation for a number of years. She dismisses Grant’s objective of “purportedly protecting women” and believes if the legislation was passed it would jeopardise both the personal safety and financial security of women working in the industry. Lee said she had been out speaking to women working in saunas around Edinburgh, who she describes as “ordinary women trying to pay their bills in the recession”, and found that “their general reaction is of disbelief and anger.”

She objects strongly to the view that all prostitution is violence against women and the portrayal of sex workers as “stupid and in need of rescue”.

She also argues that criminalising the purchaser would make it harder to prevent violence in the sex industry as “sometimes the clients are the only people who will see these women,” and they would be discouraged from reporting abuse if they feared prosecution.

Both Lewis and Lee identified stigma as one of the main issues af-

fecting sex workers across the industry.

It affects their day-to-day lives and means they are underrepresented in both public and political debates about prostitution. Issues of anonymity and confidentiality mean that it is “not easy for sex workers to get their heads above the parapet and talk,” Lewis explained.

Lee recounted her own experience of being ‘outed’ while working and living in the Highlands which lead her to begin campaigning on sex worker issues. Both express hope that attitudes are gradually changing and Lee believes that “the more we challenge the stereotype, the faster we get there.”

“

There are a number of politicians and groups who want to crack down on prostitution and are campaigning for further legislation to be introduced" The approach local councils and police forces take to prostitution has a major impact on conditions for sex workers. Attitudes towards prostitution vary by city and Edinburgh takes a much more tolerant approach than Glasgow; often described as the east/ west divide. Since 1986, the Edinburgh council has granted entertainment licenses to saunas and massage parlours which are widely acknowledged to act as brothels, effectively turning a blind eye to the practice, unlike its Glaswegian counterpart.

There are around 15 licensed saunas in Edinburgh with many in busy commercial and residential areas such as the New Gentle Touch in Marchmont and several saunas in New Town.

Recent controversy around the saunas has seen local residents and the Edinburgh-based VAW group Zero Tolerance speaking out against the council’s licensing policy. Mike Anthony, an Edinburgh resident and long-time campaigner on the issue, delayed the re-licensing of 11 saunas this November by submitting a legal challenge in court. The licenses were eventually granted. Speaking to the press, Jenny Kemp of Zero Tolerance expressed disappointment, stating, “We are appalled by this decision. Sexual exploitation is a huge problem in Edinburgh and saunas are a key place where that exploitation happens.”

Lothian and Borders Police does not object to the council’s licensing policy and generally takes a tolerant approach towards prostitution. For two decades the police implemented a tolerance zone within Leith, which meant street prostitution was tolerated by police in a set area. Supporters argue this makes street prostitution more visible and therefore easier for the police to monitor, making it safer for the workers.

wonderferret

Laura Lee is a sex worker based in Glasgow who has been working in the sex industry for 18 years. She works independently, advertising her services on a personal website, but has worked for agencies and saunas in the past.

Speaking to The Student by phone, Lee is emphatic about the choice she exercises, explaining that she “always wanted to enter the industry”. She expresses anger at the widespread portrayal of all sex workers as victims who have been “pimped”, “coerced” or “trafficked” into the industry.

Currently, Lee’s profession is legal.

In Scotland, as in the rest of the UK, exchanging payment for sex – commonly defined as prostitution – is not against the law. However, loitering and soliciting for sex on the street are illegal for both prostitutes and customers and brothels are banned. There are a number of politicians and groups who want to crack down on prostitution and are campaigning for further legislation to be introduced.

Rhoda Grant, a Labour MSP, is seeking to change the current situation in Scotland by outlawing the purchase of sex. Grant believes that “prostitution in Scotland is a form of violence against women and sexual exploitation” and argues that her proposed bill would “reduce demand” for prostitution by criminalising the purchaser. Her proposal for the ‘Criminalisation of the Purchase of Sex Bill’ is under public consultation until December 14th and any individual can submit a response.

She told The Student, “I’m not trying to further criminalise prostitutes, what I am trying to do is raise awareness about the plight of prostitutes.”

Grant’s proposal has provoked both support and condemnation, reflecting opposing attitudes to the sex industry and legislation.

CALLING CARDS: These phonebox ads could be a thing of the past Local resident complaints meant this policy ended in 2001 and attacks against street sex workers increased tenfold in the following years. The nationalisation of Scotland’s police force next year may end a localised approach to prostitution and could impact Edinburgh’s tolerant attitude to the industry.

Joanna Mowat, a Tory councillor, made headlines earlier this year when she was quoted in the Scotsman suggesting, “If we are going to tolerate the licensing of brothels, which is essentially what we do, perhaps we should actually license brothels, and part of the regulation would be to ensure that the girls – or men – are not trafficked, that they are tested, that they have access to medical support and that workers can go in if they want a way out of this.”

Legalising brothels is strongly supported by the sex workers’ rights groups who argue it would make prostitution much safer for sex workers. It is not just about ‘professional’ brothels

and saunas: current legislation means that it is illegal for two sex workers to operate under the same roof, forcing women to work alone. Lee explains that it is necessary to “step back from the stereotype of the brothel,” describing how it can mean two middle-aged women working from a flat and reading Take a Break magazine between clients. She argues that you “wouldn’t expect anyone to work behind a counter in a bank alone” or in any profession working with the public, and the same should apply to prostitution.

The criminalisation/decriminalisation debate remains hugely divisive and seems set to continue for a long time. When considering changes to legislation such as Grant’s proposal, it is therefore vital to involve and communicate with sex workers and prioritise an evidence-based approach over ideology.

This is the only way to improve the safety and working conditions for sex workers which, after all, should be the main objective of any new policy.

Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper features@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Features 11

Mistletoe online

Maria Kheyfets discusses the perks and pitfalls of the growing trend of finding love on the internet

“

With more than nine million Britons searching for love online, the UK is a leading nation in ‘the march of the daters’" The reason for this immediacy in our perceived need for a romantic partner is, however, partially a product of the highly technologised world we live in, which not only facilitates our mundane quotidian errands, but extends even to the level of personal relationships.

As a generation largely dependent on technology – and addicted to social networks which allow us to create personal profiles that present us in a light of precisely our own choosing – it is not surprising that we have become less

concerned with the efficiency of our real-life communication skills.

We constantly witness the way in which friends, families and couples gather to enjoy each other’s company and yet reclusively spend 70 per cent of this supposedly ‘social’ time on their individual cell phones.

It is no wonder that people nowadays secretly long for the warmth and intimacy of a true companion. However, when we turn to online dating in this search for genuine love our evaluation of it can become more problematic.

There is no doubt that online dating has its fair share of attractions – especially for the right type of user. By this I mean the person that is not so much concerned with the thrill and spontaneity of old-fashioned romance as with actually finding a partner with whom to form a very stable and committed relationship.

Although the ‘matchmaking’ criteria utilized by online dating sites do not seem particularly convincing, people less prone to the idea of romantic destiny are more likely to have realistic expectations and to work harder at making a relationship work despite its challenges.

There is little denying that the best way to test compatibility is through a real-life chat over a cup of coffee, and for people willing to go on numerous such meet-ups until they find ‘the one’ online dating could well be the optimal solution. Besides, even the slightly

more romantic amongst us could surely spot the allure in the possibility of discovering our other half on the other side of the globe, thanks to the expandable search criteria offered by online dating sites.

Despite these potential benefits, those who truly believe in romantic destiny should probably stick with the excitement and spontaneity afforded by real life encounters. After all, it seems fairly counter-intuitive to go out

“

Those who truly believe in romantic destiny should probably stick with the excitement and spontaneity afforded by real life encounters" searching for love.

When two people begin a correspondence through a dating site, there is an underlying knowledge that they are both evaluating each other as potential romantic partners. They are therefore not only signing themselves up for a fair amount of awkwardness but also renouncing the possibility of an unexpected encounter with a future partner in real life, who would probably anticipate a more natural relationship development, not to mention a little

holidayextras

With more than nine million Britons searching for love online, the UK is the leading nation in “the march of the daters”, according to statistics released last week. A similar study conducted in the US demonstrates that online dating has become the second most common way for couples to meet, surpassed only by meeting through friends.

It seems clear from these studies that our society is vehemently searching for love.

ONLINE DATING: An ever-increasing trend in finding romance more uncertainty and excitement.

Comparing and assessing lots of people online might also encourage a ‘shopping mentality’, which can lead to the development of highly unrealistic expectations- especially since such criteria should not really be used to evaluate a potential loved one.

Further possibilities for crushed expectations arise due to the fact that online dating presents numerous possibilities for dishonesty – both in one’s self-description and current relationship status.

In fact, one study estimates that 25

per cent of those combing the web for a new partner are already in a relationship.

Personally, I started out with little belief in online dating – which I regarded as affording little opportunity for true romance and the natural unfolding of a relationship. However, my first serious – and indeed very exciting – relationship originated from a yearlong correspondence online.

From my own experience, I would have to admit that romantic fate appears to exist even in our digitalized age.

Christmassy controversy

Francesca Mitchell examines the hotly debated question of rebranding the Christmas season livestock – in the public Palisades Park, the traditional religious scenes will now be confined to churches and private property. The decision has provoked outrage from conservative sectors of the local community and raises wider debates about not only the relationship between church and state in the US, but also about the very nature of con-

Patsw

After The recent decision of the city council in Santa Monica, California, the Christmas season just got controversial. Following a campaign by atheist activists, the council has banned the display of nativity scenes on public property. After over half a century of life-size displays of the birth of Jesus – complete with a crib, wise men and

NATIVITY SCENES: The latest source of controversy in Santa Monica

temporary Christmas celebrations.

In the Santa Monica case, the atheist campaigners against the display cite the separation of church and state as a key reason for their anti-nativity activism. Damon Vix of the Freedom from Religion Foundation, who began the campaign several years ago, deemed the display of the traditional Christian symbol a relic of the McCarthy era, and “a blatant violation of…the principle our country was built on.” Vix and his co-activists have since been accused by many of intolerance including Hunter Jameson, chairman of the nativity scenes committee, who described the decision as “a very sad day,” adding that “the original Grinch didn’t want people to celebrate Christmas.”

Santa Monica is not the only place to witness Christmas controversy in recent years. The New York City public school system, for example, banned the display of nativity scenes in 2002, although it permitted the display of supposedly less overt religious symbols such as Hanukkah candles and the Muslim star and crescent. Across the US, the use of the term ‘Christmas’ in relation to the Christmas and holiday season has declined in government and

corporate discussion, usually replaced by the more generic term ‘holidays’.

Moreover, most retailers are asked to greet customers with “Happy Holidays” or “Seasons Greetings”, rather than the traditional “Merry Christmas”.

“

Critics deemed [Winterval] as political correctness gone mad" This trend, often denoted in the media as a ‘war on Christmas’, is by no means confined to the US. Indeed, it extends to some degree to the UK – however, without the ‘Happy Holidays’ mantra. Controversy abounded over the attempted introduction of ‘Winterval’ in the late 1990s, a catchall phrase promoted to represent the whole season of events, including Christmas festivities. The scheme was designed to be inclusive of those who do not celebrate Christmas – no bad thing in itself – and was described as “a well-meaning attempt not to offend”.

However, it also generated huge opposition and ridicule: critics deemed it

as political correctness gone mad, and its proponents as trying to take the ‘Christ’ out of Christmas.

The wider debate raised here is clearly the approach of governing authorities to the Christmas season in the face of an increasingly secular and multicultural society. Anti-discrimination measures, inclusivity and cultural awareness in winter festivities – whether Christmas, Hanukkah, Diwali, Eid, Chinese New Year, or any other – are of course hugely important.

One might justly question however, whether it is justifiable to attempt to rebrand Christmas itself. Whilst it is now celebrated by many from non-Christian backgrounds and perspectives, Christmas is traditionally a Christian celebration of the birth of Jesus.

It is true that the contemporary celebrations hold a huge mix of meanings and significances to different people – be it the Christian message, Santa, presents, turkey, mulled wine or time spent with family and friends – but we should question the extent to which this means a criticism or condemnation of the traditionally Christian aspects of a traditionally Christian holiday is justified.

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Follow ������� us ��� on ��� twitter �������� @TheStudentPaper ����������������� or ��� on ��� Facebook ��������� at ��� facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper� ��������������������������������� editors@studentnewspaper.org�

12 Editorial

The Student makes a Christmas wish list!

We promise we've been good! xox 1: A The Student branded onesie 2: Zero additional press regulation as a result of the Leveson report 3: A new office which breaths fire 4: An EPL Football club. Preferably not QPR. 5: A small middle-eastern country. Preferably not Syria.

6: Kanye West 7: An apple and an orange 8: A lump of coal. Fuel is mad expensive.

9: Something exciting yet tragic in a way that the public can sympathise with, so we can report on it.

10: A new Adam Curtis documentary 11: A new Richard Curtis film 12: A new branch for Curtis’ of Lincoln (It's a shit Greggs for those out of the loop) 13: A Made in Chelsea Christmas special 14: A personal T-Pain 15: A coupon redeemable for one free audit from PricewaterhouseCoopers 16: A coupon redeemable for one free audit from The Church of Scientology 17: All of the bad debt in the Eurozone (the yields be crazy) 18: A self-replicating newspaper 19: A One Direction Christmas Album 20: A The Student boat 21: Free Red Fort buffet for life 22: A bath of milk – Oppun Cleopatra Style 23: The eternal friendship of Psy 24: A fully functional trebuchet 25: A one-on-one basketball game with Barack Obama 26: Lunch with Warren Buffett 27: Cure for the common cold, and cancer, and AIDS (if Santa has time) 28: A combat drone: not only is it cool, it's also illegal under international law 29: Social acceptance of eating stollen and mince pies for every meal whilst having mulled sent to the veins.

30: For all of our readers to have a really magical Xmas!

Join us!

The Student is always looking for budding reporters, reviewers, illustrators and photographers to join us. We’re also hunting for recruits for our marketing and events teams.

If you’re interested, here’s how to track us down: » In person: Meetings every Tuesday in the Teviot Debating Hall at 1.15pm in the new year! Happy Holidays! editors@studentnewspaper.org www.facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper www.twitter.com/TheStudentPaper

A quick history lesson...

The Student was launched by Scottish novelist and poet Robert Louis Stevenson in 1887 as an independent voice for Edinburgh's literati. It is Britain's oldest student newspaper and is an independent publication, reaching more than 10,000 University of Edinburgh students every week.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Lord Kitchener, David Lloyd George and Winston Churchill are a few of the famous people who have been associated with the paper. In the early 1970s, Gordon Brown worked as a news editor and diary columnist, working alongside Robin Cook who at the time was in charge of film and concert reviews.

Disclaimer

The Student welcomes letters for publication. The editors, however, reserve the right to edit or modify letters for clarity. Anonymous letters will not be printed but names will be witheld on request. The letters printed are the opinions of individuals outwith The Student and do not represent the views of the editors or the paper as a whole. Similarly, comment articles represent the views of their writers and not The Student.

Editors Nina Bicket and Daniel Swain

News Charlotte Brady, Alistair Grant, Thurston Smalley Comment Stephen Maughan, Yasmin Morgan-Griffiths & Charlotte Ryan Features Cameron Taylor & Francesca Mitchell Lifestyle Katherine Nugent & Marissa Trew Science & Environment Nina Seale & Katy Sheen Tech Alasdair MacLeod Crosswords John Wakely Culture Madeleine Ash, Troy Holmes & Lene Korseberg Music Emmett Cruddas, Stuart Iversen & Geraint Lloyd Ellis Film Dan Scott Lintott & Sally Pugh TV Hannah Clapham-Clark & Jack 'Muzzah' Murray Sport Piers Barber & Phil Smith Head of illustration Jalen Vasquez Photo editor Elizabeth Doucette Commission Sarah Burch Production editors Christopher Sladdin & Ben Shmulevitch

Head copy editor Melissa Geere Copy editors Amy Doyle, Elinor Smith, Helen Twigg, Charlotte Wagenaar, & Helena Wilson Advertising Rachel Barkey, Matt McDonald, Kirsten Weir Distribution James Wood Marketing Dan 'DSL' Scott Lintott Social Media Kelly Meulenberg Training and Development Alasdair Drennan President Darkwing Duck Secretary Rebecca O'Doherty Treasurer Katy Sheen Social Secretary Thomas 'Aussie Tom' Grant

Student Newspaper, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh EH8 9TJ. Tel: 0131 650 9189. The Student lists links to third party websites, but does not endorse them or guarantee their authenticity or accuracy. © The Student Newspaper Society. All rights reserved. No section in whole or part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmited in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission of the publisher. The Student is published by the Student Newspaper Society, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh EH8 9TJ. Distributed by RJM Couriers, 3 John Muir Place, Dunbar EH42 1GD. Tel: 01368 860115. Printed

by Print and Digital Associates, 01332 896525, on Monday September 10 2012. Tel: 01228 612600. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

Send us your stories on fashion, beauty and health lifestyle@tudentnewspaper.org

‘Tis the season to be single It is getting to the time of year when one starts to fantasise about snuggling up in front of the fire with that special someone, sipping on your mug of hot cocoa. Or, for stingy students unwilling to switch on the heating, the lure of a human hot water bottle can be very tempting indeed. But resist these snow-tinted fantasies. For a start, who even drinks cocoa? If you get cold, buy yourself some bedsocks.

They’ll probably be less of an emotional schlep.

Romantic affairs can just get tiring. You may be tired of convincing yourself that it is not Facebook stalking if it came up on your news feed, tired of being taken to fancy cocktail bars where you have to pay for your own drink, tired of trying to decipher the deeper meanings behind every text message by counting the ‘x’s.

The problem has its roots in the artificial system that is dating. You converse for hours with someone you know less about than your dog’s pedicurist. This made sense when dating was a testing ground for marriage, an opportunity to check the gal had all her teeth and that she wasn’t likely to burp at the table. However it has left us with a legacy in which we are all playing a game that nobody even knows the rules of.

Relationships take up a disproportionate amount of brain space.

Renouncing all romance means that you’ll no longer spend your lectures drifting off into fantasies about your beloved’s eyes; instead you can use the time to do important things, like planning out your life, your future… and your next manicure.

Noted celibates include Queen Elizabeth, Isaac Newton and even Stephen Fry, who took time off from dating to focus on his career and his cocaine habit (Fry fans may be interested to know that this column is inspired by one of Fry’s articles about the virtues of giving up the beast with two backs or “the beast with one back and the funny bit in the middle”).

I’m not saying that if you are in a wonderful, loving and supportive relationship with the most fantastic person you have ever met that you should ditch ‘em and move on to the single life. But should you have been having an ‘unlucky in love’ spell, consider the virtues of giving up romance for Christmas.

Tell yourself (and your friends) that this is not a dry patch at all, but a conscious and active decision to be wilfully celibate.

We are told that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince, but sometimes it is nice to have a break from swallowing all that slime.

Amelia Sanders

Fashion’s double dimension Kathryn MacPhail gives us a sneak peek of the 2013 Edinburgh Charity Fashion Show Everyone should make a note in their social calendars of an amazing upcoming event: the hugely successful student-run Edinburgh Charity Fashion Show is returning on March 16 for a very exciting and glamorous ninth year. So save the date when this spectacular event will be held at The Assembly Rooms on George Street.

ECFS not only opens your eyes to a fabulous fashion spectacle but, more importantly, it will raise money for Cancer Support Scotland and The Sandpiper Trust. In previous years, this popular event has raised a staggering quarter of a million pounds for charities including Breakthrough Breast Cancer, Poppyscotland and Marie Curie Cancer Care.

In 2012 alone, ECFS successfully raised £10,280 for the Children’s Hospice Association, Scotland. And now their goal is to be even bigger, bolder and better than ever before.

Previously, the shows have been inspired by Marie Antoinette, the Sex Pistols and have even focussed on surrealist spectacles of magical reality.

This year, the theme is ‘Duality’ which they describe in their blog, as the “presence of two opposing forces present in one entity”. When thinking of duality, they consider Robert Louis Stevenson and his classic tale of the Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde in which the main character develops an alternate, darker personality.

The theme of duality holds no limits; we see it evident in the country of Scotland itself, for instance, between

the Highlands and Lowlands, or even Glasgow and Edinburgh. The ECFS2013 fashion team has already begun sharing ideas on their blog BloggEd and will be constantly updating it with new inspirations for the final catwalk show. Whether you’re a fashionista or not it looks as if we’re all in for something unique and extraordinary.

Fashion concepts from ECFS have even been featured in magazines such as Vogue and Harper’s Bazaar. ECFS are delighted to have featured designers like Nicole Farhi, Vivienne Westwood, Mark Fast, Issa, Calvin Klein Menswear and Luella in past shows, whilst also including up-and-coming local student talent.

Every year they cast auditions for students to become their next runway models, with high numbers applying for what is surely a very rewarding and fantastic experience. ECFS without a doubt is right to congratulate itself on being the most prosperous studentrun charity fashion show in Europe.

This year ECFS have even included local students of the University of Edinburgh to be a part of their blog and to develop more interest in fashion.

As they say themselves, street style has become the biggest and easiest means for people to teach themselves about fashion.

It’s more personal – it humanises fashion. It connects people. Real people, real wardrobes! Check out their Edinburgh Charity Fashion Show Facebook page and you may even see

ECFS2013

Student Sexposé

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

THE MODEL STUDENT: Showcasing Edinburgh University talent your friends or find some inspiring outfits.

So if you’re an Edinburgh native with a passion for fashion, ECFS2013 is surely the event for you. It’s the

hottest show out there for those who are looking for an absolutely fashionfabulous night. www.bloggedcharityfashionshow.com

The tricks of the trade

Amanda Baker recounts her journey from unemployed undergrad to successful entrepreneur In February 2010 I was relieved when I finally got my first job as a junior designer after graduating in September 2008. It was a company called Volume (one of the UK’s leading innovation agencies) that opened the door to the beginning of my entrepreneurial career.

Looking back, I still can’t believe where I am now and what I’ve achieved so far.

In my early career days, I was buzzing with enthusiasm and wanted to get my teeth stuck into every project running through the studio. After a year of working at Volume, I had an idea for a new social networking website where girls and their friends could borrow and lend clothes. I was always thinking up new ideas for campaigns and apps but this one was different. It had the potential to be a business. I put it on the back burner for a while whilst I progressed with my exciting new design career. One day, I built up the courage to approach Volume’s CEO with my idea and asked him to help me bring it to life. I could instantly see he was engaged with the concept and my enthusiasm about it.

He then told me to put a presentation together for the senior management

team in two weeks. I could already feel my nerves kicking in.

I used all my spare time and energy to work on my presentation – I was determined to secure an investment. I came up with the name Pink Mothballs and designed a logo. I even created visuals of the website to show how it would work. The day finally arrived to present and I was more nervous than I anticipated. I set up my PowerPoint show and patiently waited for all the managers to arrive and take their seats.

I felt like I was on Dragon's Den. As I began my presentation and confidently went through each slide, explaining my idea in precise detail, I couldn’t believe how professional and confident I sounded. I was advised to make Pink Mothballs an app instead of a website due to the rapid growth of the smartphone market. I was then told to put together a business plan and another presentation. Volume basically put me through a business boot camp.

They mentored me, helped and advised me throughout my research and development. It was a fantastic experience.

Five presentations and a 64 page busi-

ness plan later, Volume agreed to invest £150 thousand in the Pink Mothballs project. I couldn’t believe it! I felt like I had just won the lottery.

“

I was always thinking up new ideas for campaigns and apps but this one was different."

In January 2012, we started the app development. I worked closely with the tech department to create the user experience. It was so surreal seeing my idea becoming a reality. Once my logo was finalised I created a Twitter and Facebook account to start interacting with potential users. I also started a fashion blog called “Can I Borrow It?” and attended blogging events in London to network with people who would be interested in writing about my app once it launched. Within three months I had created a buzz about Pink Moth-

balls and had caught the attention of Thea Green, founder and MD of Nails Inc. She commented on my new business venture saying, “In these challenging economic times Pink Mothballs gives us a fun, affordable way to stay on trend. It’s a great idea.” I was so overwhelmed.

Pink Mothballs launched on September 22, 2012. I managed to organise a launch party in London whilst I was still working full-time. My days consisted of me working from nine to six at Volume, then all night on Pink Mothballs. It was a challenge, but I did it and I loved it. When you’re passionate about a business idea, you will do anything to make it work. It's this kind of determination and positive attitude, that I truly believe makes the difference between great ideas that stay on paper, and those that really take off. I never thought I would be running my own company at the age of 25, but it just goes to show, if you don’t ask, you don’t get.

To download Pink Mothballs, visit www.pinkmothballs.com.

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper tech@studentnewspaper.org

Tiling the land with a Modern UI

It’s been a turbulent couple of months for the industry. Autumn is always the most exciting time, preceding the important holiday quarter where the future of companies are examined on the open market; the best indicator of consumer reception is whether products are gifted to loved ones en masse.

No one is feeling this pressure more than Microsoft, who recently launched their new portfolio of software products into an incredibly competitive market.

“

In the month since its launch, Windows 8 has sold over 40 million copies" Microsoft’s Windows 8 is the company’s ambitious play to maintain their dominance in a new market dynamic that increasingly favours mobile centric devices - primarily Apple’s iPad and iPhone, and to a certain extent Google’s Android.

It comes as predictions for PC sales are increasingly conservative. In 2013 an estimated 250 million PCs will be sold, down from 350 million in 2012.

The PC market is set to slump, and with it being a major cash cow for Microsoft, they are concerned.

However, Windows 8 may not be the solution they are hoping for.

The operating system (OS) has been met with apathetic reviews, many bemoaning its touch-centric and confused user interface. So do Microsoft have what it takes to survive the coming storm?

In the month since its launch, Windows 8 has sold over 40 million copies. That sounds like a lot, and it is, but some perspective is needed.

Windows 7, on average, sold about 20 million units per month.

Ordinarily Microsoft would expect to increase sales by much more than 100 per cent during a launch period – particularly when you take into account that Windows 8 is now being sold at significantly discounted rates over Windows 7.

That being said, it certainly is not a catastrophic number, merely a decent rather than excellent launch.

Windows 8 will not live or die by this launch, it is the future that is important. If Windows 8 can build a solid ecosystem underwritten by even modest sales (though multiple millions a month is nothing to sniff at) then it may be a highly successful product for Microsoft.

Put simply, Windows 8 is a longterm play. And long-term is where Microsoft need to be looking to ensure they are not left by the wayside.

Speaking of long-term plays, Microsoft’s other new OS, Windows Phone 8, launched concurrently with its bigger brother. In many ways this

Microsoft

David Bailey wonders whether Microsoft's new PC and Mobile operating systems are enough to ensure the company's

Modern UI: Windows 8's new interface has been designed specifically for touchscreens and tablets is the more interesting product. Windows Phone is Microsoft’s direct response to the iPhone, but unlike the older Windows Phone 7, Windows Phone 8 is actually competitive.

It bears mentioning why Microsoft felt they needed to respond to the iPhone at all: the mobile OS is the future. The iPhone dominates the mobile phone industry, and Apple is one of only three companies making any profit in that game (Samsung and HTC are the others).

As previously mentioned, PC sales are slumping, but smartphone sales are on the rise. In the current economic climate many people can afford to purchase a new computer only infrequently – likely when the previous workhorse breaks. But smartphones, assisted by the subsidised phone carrier-pricing model, are purchased every two years.

This is why, despite still negligible sales of its traditional Macintosh computers, Apple has become the world’s biggest company, with about $100 billion in profits in the bank.

Against this mighty titan, Microsoft has pitched Windows Phone 8.

And it’s an excellent OS, met with mostly positive reviews.

new stock yet to be shipped in from factories.

Some countries are reporting demand in excess of that of the iPhone 5 and the Galaxy SIII. This is in part due to killer hardware from Microsoft’s partners, Nokia and HTC, who have produced differentiated and beautifully designed phones and, on Nokia’s part, perhaps the best camera to ever ship on a phone.

“

A world in which Apple and Google called the shots would leave no room for true innovation" It is also, in part, due to the massive marketing campaign surrounding the

launch. Despite this excellent news, there is no indication that Windows Phone will increase in sales enough to offset the slump in PC sales. That would require yet another massive 400 per cent sales rise over current levels.

But Microsoft is hopeful that over the next year this will happen. Anything’s possible.

As ever, the future in the technology industry is uncertain. One thing is clear, though. The competitive landscape would be far worse without Microsoft in it – a world in which Apple and Google called all the shots would leave no room for true innovation, which Microsoft has been delivering in spades recently.

The next year is crucial for Microsoft. If Microsoft’s sales aren’t decidedly better this time next year we may see the beginning of the long slow death of the once indefatigable company.

“

Windows Phone 8: Can this update challenge iOS and Android?

It remains unclear if it will sell well, but latest figures are promising. Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer recently said in an earnings call that sales were up 400 per cent, year over year, against Windows Phone 7.

Most retail locations are saying they are completely sold out of devices running the OS, and many customers are placing reserve orders on

Apple (left) & google (right)

Microsoft

Apple has become the world's biggest company, with about $100 billion in profits in the bank"

iPhone 5 & Nexus 4: They face stiff competition in the handset world

Amazed by atoms? Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper science@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Remember the skies this December The Bible says the three wise men followed the Eastern Star to Bethlehem of Judea, where Jesus was born. Although we might never find out what they saw, there are a few possible explanations. None of them is a star.

The Gospel of Matthew says that the Magi arrived from the east to worship the newly born Jesus Christ. There are a number of astronomical events that could have been the Star. The birth of Jesus was estimated for between 7 and 4 BC, which allows us to narrow down the search. It was determined that in 7 BC, a series of three conjunctions between Saturn and Jupiter occurred and German astrologer Johannes Kepler proposed (incorrectly) that this could have potentially created a nova. Some argued those planetary alignments were not significant enough to interest the ancient astrologers.

Another possibility is a comet-like object that was observed in East Asia about 5 BC. Unfortunately, comets were perceived as bad omens in most cultures of that period, so it is dubious that one could have been the Star of Bethlehem.

The latest studies and hypotheses suggest that it could have been a supernova in Andromeda Galaxy or its globular cluster, however it is very hard to determine the exact time when this occurred.

As Christmas is approaching, we can follow the footsteps of the Magi and enjoy what the December sky has to offer this year. The show starts with Jupiter at

opposition, which means that the Earth will be between the sun and Jupiter.

Although it occurs on December 3, Jupiter will be visible throughout the whole month. With the aid of a telescope, the famous Red Spot on Jupiter can also be observed. As the sun sets, the largest planet of the solar system will rise in the east. It will be close enough to us to be seen with the naked eye, so take a minute and look towards the eastern horizon after twilight. Jupiter will appear as a pale yellow star.

“

For those who have many wishes this year, there is a special celestial event: the spectacle of the Geminid meteor shower."

For those who have many wishes this year, there is a special celestial event: the spectacle of the Geminid meteor shower.

When a meteoroid (tiny piece of debris) enters the atmosphere of the Earth at high speed, its trajectory is visible to us as a shooting star (meteor). Most meteoroids are so small that they shatter before reaching the land. During a shower, many meteors radiate from one

point (a radiant) with high frequency.

The Geminids originate from a radiant in the Gemini constellation and it is the only meteor shower apart from the Quadrantids ( January 1 to 6) that is not comet-induced. Although the shower will last from December 4 till December 17, the peak will occur on December 13 and 14 (predicted to be more than 120 per hour between 2 and 3am). On that night, the new moon guarantees a dark sky, which, if the sky is clear, should be a perfect background for the Geminids, which usually appear yellowish. Between December 22 and 23 look out for another shower: the Ursids.

As stunning as the cosmos is by itself, even more exciting is observing the trace of human activity in outer space. In the hour before sunrise and in the hour after sunset we can see the International Space Station (ISS). From any UK location it is usually visible for about two to five minutes at a time in the sky. The exact position can be found on the Human Space Flight Nasa website (http://spaceflight.nasa.gov). When you spot it, smile and wave to the cosmonauts. If you wish to have more direct contact with them, try calling the ISS via the amateur radio (ARISS project).

With exams and holidays coming up, everyone is extremely busy. But take a break and look up at the winter sky. You may not see the Star of Bethlehem, but you will not be disappointed.

NASA/JPL-Caltech/T. Pyle (SSC)

With Jupiter rising and meteor showers beginning, Ada Kozlowska describes the spectacles to be seen in the sky this December

UBOS: Christmas skies have a history of Unidentified Bright Objects

Keep calm and carry on with revision

Maithili Mehta discusses the causes and symptoms of stress and advises the best ways to avoid sinking under your pile of books DO • Manage your time. Identify the time of day when you are most productive (you may be a morning person, an evening person, or a late night person), and allot this time to tasks that require more energy and concentration than others.

• Embrace variation. Interspersing difficult tasks with easier ones or studying chunks of different subjects can often be less monotonous, as well as less taxing on your brain.

• Make time to relax. It is unfortunate that relaxation is often confused with recreation. This need not be something as elaborate as a weekend away or as intensive as several hours of sport. Spending a few minutes talking to your friends could help you keep things in perspective. As could a short run, or an occasional snack.

• Breathe. Often, under stress, you tend to take short, shallow breaths, using only the upper part of your chest and not your stomach muscles to breathe. Taking deep breaths increases the amount of oxygen that diffuses into the blood and reaches the brain.

Textbooks are drawn out, coffee mugs prop up, and excruciating silence envelops the library again. If you listen carefully, you might just hear the hum of five thousand brains, pressed to the brink of alertness and efficiency by stress hormones. It’s that time of year again when you give up all things dear to the student life – sleep, beer, and banter – in favour of those horrible exams.

“

In the short run, these stress hormones mediate beneficial effects that help us cope with the imminent crisis."

Stress is one of the most unwelcome physiological responses. Our reactions to stress are shaped by our biological history: when hunter-gatherers were faced with menacing dangers, the result was a ‘flight-or-fight’ response, which momentarily sharpened their senses to an above average level to aid survival.

Today, when exposed to stressors that place heavy emotional or intellectual demands on our brains (like relationship problems or, indeed, academic pressure) our bodies still respond the same way, as if we were dealing with a physical threat. The outcome – a fleeting spike in adrenalin and cortisol levels in the blood. In the short run, these stress hormones mediate beneficial effects that help us cope with the imminent crisis, such as an increased heart rate, a quick burst of energy, and transiently heightened memory and immunity. However, compounded cortisol build-up over the long term can cause high blood pressure, an increase in abdominal fat storage, and a markedly reduced ability to think clearly.

So how can we tell when stress is good, and how much stress is too much?

This is a tricky question, because people’s tolerance to stress varies, so that a situation that is intolerable to one person may be stimulating to another.

The answer: learn to recognise your own stress threshold. This is not as technical as it sounds if you acquaint yourself with the telling signs. Headaches, constant tiredness, and insomnia are not

uncommon symptoms; but some people might experience almost none of these, and instead feel on-edge, aggressive, irritable, or just depressed. A select few might experience a decrease in appetite; but for the majority, revision period most definitely correlates with cravings for carbohydrate- and fat-rich foods, and more trips to Sainsbury’s and the library cafe than ever before (though admittedly, a lot of these might stem from restlessness and procrastination rather than hunger).

“

For the majority, revision period most definitely correlates with cravings for carbohydrate."

It is worth remembering that although a little stress is healthy and alerts the body and mind, it is best followed by a period of relaxation. Here are some tips that could be useful in coping with exam stress.

DON'T • Bite off more than you can chew.

The end of semester is after all a step closer to holidays, and it isn’t surprising that your friends might want to celebrate. Social pressure can sometimes be as harrowing as its academic counterpart; perhaps you could practise being assertive and learning to say no to people who you feel are making unrealistic or unreasonable demands on you at this time.

• Lament about how much of the mountain you have left to climb. In all probability, it will intimidate you and slow your progress. Instead, reflect on how much you have climbed so far, and evaluate your progress so that you can adjust your rate accordingly to be able to get to the top in good time.

• Forget to laugh. Laughing lowers stress hormone levels, and increases the secretion of endorphins, which dull the sensation of pain. It also relaxes muscles and boosts immunity. Perhaps watching an episode of The Big Bang Theory in your next break could do the trick.

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Amazed by atoms? Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper science@studentnewspaper.org

16 Science & Environment

Scientific eye for the straight guy

Callam Davidson explores the science of sexuality, using neuroscience, sex hormones, genital responses and a scale of bisexuality

“

A male might be able to simply "consult his penis" to determine his orientation, sexuality in women is more complicated" In 1991, British-born American neuroscientist Simon LeVay published a paper in Science in which he reported a small but significant size difference of a rice-grain sized area of brain between straight and gay men. This difference was found in the hypothalamus; the area of the brain thought to govern many aspects of our sexual behaviour. This finding opened up a whole new area of scientific interest – could there be a built-in biological basis for sexuality?

NINA SEALE

Sexual Orientation – what determines it? Despite our sexuality forming a fundamental part of our personalities, the answer to this question has eluded countless investigators. Research has been conducted across many fields, from psychoanalysis through to genetics and even anatomy. Few would claim that they can switch between gay, straight or bisexual at will and this suggests that choice has little to do with orientation. Sexual behaviour of course is a very different matter, involving considerably more decision making!

The study attracted a lot of attention, not all of it positive. In a recent interview on web-based science show Skeptically Speaking, LeVay revealed that initially his work was considered controversial.

Now, although the scientific community have mostly come around to his way of thinking, he says it remains controversial amongst some homophobic groups who see his work as “threatening to their point of view… the concept that sexuality is simply straight people trying the gay thing”.

The science of sexual orientation as a field of study is littered with potential

problems. Firstly, determining the proportions of different sexualities within a population is hard and figures are often thought to be underestimated; especially as people are reluctant to reveal what is essentially very private information. A second problem involves measuring sexuality - how can a scientist define a person’s orientation categorically when it may lie on a spectrum? The Kinsey Scale is one example of a system; it asks people to rate themselves on a scale of 0 (heterosexual) to 6 (homosexual). Values 1-5 represent levels of bisexuality.

Physiological techniques are a more

revealing if crude method for determining sexuality – a person is shown erotic images of either a male or a female and their genital response is measured. Interestingly, while men’s own descriptions of their sexual preferences usually match their genital response, in women this is often not the case. Instead, women tend to show a genital response to both male and female erotic images, leading LeVay to joke that while a male might be able to simply ‘consult his penis’ to determine his orientation, sexuality in women is more complicated.

Through his studies, LeVay has de-

veloped his idea of sexual orientation as a “package of gender non-conformist traits”, including not only sexual behaviour but also other personal qualities.

Matters become even more complex when considering people who identify themselves as transgender – their psychological gender not necessarily matching their physical gender. Would a man who had undergone a sex change to become a woman still be considered homosexual for being attracted to men? In his most recent book Gay, Straight and the Reason Why, LeVay explores other biological studies that support his ideas.

One particularly interesting research area is sex hormones. Most work has been carried out on animals due to the fairly major ethical problems with manipulating sex hormones in humans. The only ethically sound way of studying hormonal effects in humans involves observing people who already have a disorder. ‘Congenital adrenal hyperplasia’ is a condition which causes human females to be exposed to higher levels of testosterone than usual during development – these females then develop what might be considered more typically masculine traits. According to studies, on average these women are then more likely to engage in lesbian relationships as adults. LeVay is keen to stress that one cannot stereotype by considering gender non-conformist traits to always equate to a particular sexuality, but the trends are certainly there.

Amazed by atoms? Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper science@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Science & Environment 17

Felix Wiesner discusses whether the end is nigh on December 21 as the Mayan predictions state Wikipedia contains a very long list of failed predictions in the last 2000 years.

All of them were based on what is largely known as pseudo-science. Nonetheless it is interesting to contemplate different ways in which our world could end.

NASA has started a web page to inform about the 2012 myth from a scientific angle. It explains and debunks several of the scenarios that are causing concern for some people as this year’s winter solstice is creeping closer. The main theory behind the 2012 doomsday prediction states that a planet called Nibiru will collide with earth and only the tiny village Bugarach in the south of France will be spared. If a planet was heading for Earth we would definitely be

2012 Film

Brace yourselves, get out your bucket lists, hug your loved ones and donate all your money (preferably to me). The end of the world is coming on December 21 this year, or this is what the Maya supposedly predicted.

Stay put for a moment though, they never actually predicted the end of the world. It is merely the end of one of their calendar counts. My Dilbert calendar ends on December 31 but I decided not to make a big fuss about it. The 2012 end-of-the world myth largely stems from a combination of the Maya calendar ending, wild speculations and a mix of several other theories on the Internet.

This is the third predicted end of the world within the last two years and

THE END IS NIGH: We know when it's all ending, the question is how...

able to see it by now, so no danger there.

It is a slightly scary thought though that we can only observe a small amount of the sky - meteors have and will continue to be a danger to life on earth.

Another scenario that is debunked

by NASA for 2012 is the polar shift theory, which assumes that either a reversal in the Earth’s rotation or a switch of the Earth’s magnetic field is going to be the reason for our demise. The former is not possible and the latter is expected to happen slowly over a larger timespan than one single day.

A pandemic could have devastating effects on humanity but thanks to progress in medicine we are better prepared than ever before to deal with it and it is somewhat consoling that survivors would pass on their good genes to coming generations, evolutionary style.

Daniel Thomson, a third year Civil Engineering student says, “I think it will be a robot rebellion. Technology is moving too fast and I saw it in a movie that had Will Smith in it. To be safe I’ll lock away all my appliances on the 21st”.

The rapid development in the fields of robotics and artificial intelligence in the last few years means that this theory cannot be ruled out as easily as others.

The Cambridge University Center for the Study of Existential Risk (CSER) is regarding this as a realistic threat and has plans for further studies regarding a possible robot uprising. The CSER is

generally concerned with all sorts of serious internal threats to our civilization, ranging from biotechnology to climate change.

“

My Dilbert calendar ends on December 31 but I decided not to make a big fuss about it" My personal bet for the 21st is some sort of zombie apocalypse. There is no scientific evidence for it but it certainly makes for a better story than planet Nibiru hitting earth. No need to worry about me though, I always keep my emergency beef jerky close.

At some point, the end of life on Earth will be unavoidable: the Sun will expand, turn into a red star and engulf us. This is some five billion years away though so it doesn’t concern us and it is likely that we will have killed off humanity due to self made problems before that. Uncontrolled global warming or a nuclear war could both have devastating effects on both humanity and other denizens of Earth.

We need to realise that our world is a great wonder, subject to incredible forces out of our grasp. We should enjoy it while it lasts.

A scientist's head in the clouds

Nina Seale looks at the work of CTR Wilson, a physicist inspired by cloudy skies and rainbow shadows

“

He began trying to recreate these wisps of watery cotton by expanding and cooling saturated air" There is water hanging in the air all around us, and it is from this invisible water that clouds form. If the amount of water in the air has increased, say through evaporation under the morning Sun, and the air cannot hold any more water, water droplets form around ‘aerosol’ particles, which are often dust

This led to the construction of his life’s work: the cloud chamber, which went on to become fundamental for the advance of experimental particle physics. His next move was to try zapping his little clouds with the latest vogue of science, newly discovered X-rays. To his delight, he found that this greatly increased cloud formation, showing that the aerosol particles were in fact charged ions.

Σ 64

How often does one look at a raincloud and wonder how it came about?

How did a delicate mass of water droplets come to suspend itself in the sky like dark grey candy floss? Very rarely. Most of the time we zip up our raincoats, open our umbrellas and curse the heavens for ruining our day.

However, 120 years ago Charles Thomas Rees Wilson, a scientist from the town of Glencorse, just outside Edinburgh, was admiring the beauty of his silhouette caught in the cloud’s coronas and glories (called the Brocken spectre) from the peak of Scotland’s highest mountain, Ben Nevis, and like a lot of men enchanted by the beauty of nature, he felt the need to recreate it. But unlike poets and painters before him, he decided to use the art of science.

BROCKEN SPECTRE: A rainbow spotlight forms around one's shadow and salt particles which act as agents for cloud formation. Another way clouds can form is if the air has cooled to its ‘dew point’ (when condensation occurs) and, again, the surplus water droplets cling to the aerosol particles, forming fog or mist.

But how are these plumes of white water lifted into the sky? This can happen in one of three ways. Newly formed water droplets can remain aloft as long as the pull of gravity is smaller than the drag force on the air (if this balance shifts, the cloud breaks and everyone beneath it gets wet). If these clouds fall into a weather front (a region of new weather enclosed within an air pocket of a different pressure), they are thrust upwards by frontal lift. Another way these

clouds are lifted upwards is by catching a ride on the warm winds often touched by sunlight.

The third path for clouds is following a physical barrier upwards, such as a mountain. And this brought about the clouds that Wilson looked down upon from the observatory on Ben Nevis, watching coloured haloes that formed around the Sun (‘coronas’) and the rainbow spotlights that follow shadows cast upon clouds (‘glories’, also the explanation behind the Brocken spectre). He began trying to recreate these wisps of watery cotton by expanding and cooling saturated air. It was these trials that led him to discover the importance of aerosol particles in becoming the centre around which the water droplets gather.

“

Clouds are lifted upwards by catching a ride on the warm winds often touched by sunlight" This discovery initiated many more studies to discover the source of atmospheric electricity, now known to be cosmic rays, and so the legacy of this Edinburgh scientist lies within the advances of particle physics and meteorology. For those interested in finding out more about Wilson’s work and current research on thunderstorms, the search for the origin of cosmic rays and their impact on climate, the Royal Society of Edinburgh will be holding a conference later this week to honour Wilson and his contribution to physics. December 7th, The Royal Society of Edinburgh (RSE), 22-26 George Street, see details on the RSE website.

improbable research

Apocalypse not-right-now

Quirky Science of 2012

2012 has been a big year for science, from Higgs bosons to supersonic parachute jumps. But scientists have also been busy making plenty of less well-known but truly bizarre discoveries. Here are a few you may have missed: the strange, funny, wonderful stories that make you say, “Really?”

Maths causes pain in the brain A study at the University of Chicago found that for people who worry about their maths skills, thinking about number-crunching uses the same areas of the brain as when they are in physical pain. If only we’d known that at school, we would have had a great excuse for skipping double maths on a Friday.

Genetics is pulling a pint The foam head on the top of a pint is stabilized by proteins produced by yeast, an important ingredient in beer. The gene that controls these proteins has now been identified by Tomas G. Villa and colleagues. Your favourite beer could soon be topped by a stronger, longer-lasting foam.

Lookin’ fly, Beyonce!

A newly identified, “bootylicious” species of horse fly was named Scaptia beyonceae after Miss Knowles herself this year. Bryan Lessard, the researcher responsible for the name, branded the new species the “all time diva of flies” due to its golden coloured backside.

Ig Nobel Prize for Physics 2012 The spoof science award this year went to Dr Patrick Warren and his team for their ‘Ponytail Shape Equation’. Factors such as the stiffness of hair, curliness and the ‘Rapunzel Factor’ are all taken into account to calculate how a ponytail will behave.

Warren hasn't just lost the plot, he works for Unilever, using physics to improve their haircare products.

Invisibility cloaks may not just be science fiction Scientists from Duke University, North Carolina, have made a centimeter-scale cylinder invisible to microwaves, using a cloaking device made from fiberglass and copper.

Sadly, the object is only invisible from one direction, so Harry Potter-like gadgets are still a long way off.

If only Batman was sponsored by Red Bull A group of students from the University of Leicester were concerned for the fate of Batman in the latest film, Dark Knight Rises, having calculated his trajectory while wearing a cape. According to their findings, the self-made superhero would be hitting the ground at speeds of up to 50mph. That sounds messy.

Facebook is for bird-brains A group of Oxford University researchers have created a system of analyzing the social networking of wild great tits that has been called ‘Facebook for animals’. The scientists can track which birds are ‘friends’, whether they are in the same ‘groups’, and whether they attend the same ‘events’. They could have just asked them to Tweet about it.

Katy Sheen

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

herring@studentnewspaper.org

18 Crossword & Horoscopes

ES

OS R O

H

CRYPTIC CLUES

Oliver ninnis

P O C

Dual Crossword No. 26 by PICUS

ACROSS 1 Where to hire cars and cycles (5) 4 Old music-maker from old Spanish wine bar (7) 8 Dictator in short skirt ensnaring troubled souls (9) 9 Detergent’s story on the wireless (3) 10 Old iron from Bali, not a scratch covering it (7) 12 Welsh province within the Burgundy Federation (5) 13 Nursery character and wise king run for gold in Gaudy (7, 6) 15 Birds found in heaps of hay (5) 17 Kit used by drummer and aristocrat (4-3) 19 In France one is linked to a girl (3) 20 Clumsy fish mated carelessly (3-6) 22 Lucy’s first sailor, in second-best bed, spilled the beans (7) 23 Unusually large composer (5)

Christmas Chantelle

loves hiding things in her enormous unpruned Christmas bush. Foliage aside, she’s such a diva that she makes Mariah Carey look like a post-festive shit that you wouldn’t even wipe with a fresh copy of The Journal. Merry fucking Christmas.

Aries

This week you walk the full length of Leith Walk wearing nothing but a fetching pair of tinsel nipple tassels and wellington boots. The wellington boots are over your breasts and the tassels are in your big toes. Very postmodern.

Libra

This week your Personal Tutor will try to enhance your student experience by buying you a push-up nightslip. What a tease.

Scorpio

Bah Humbug! This week, you are a Dickensian Dickwad. You also don’t like Christmas. That’s right, you’re Oliver Twist!

To your surprise and delight, you will wake on Saturday morning to the sight of Edinburgh’s two pandas mating in your Marchmont garden. Although their techniques are unorthodox, you marvel at Tian Tian’s agility with the strap-on.

Gemini

Sagittarius

Taurus

You are fed up of being single, so do some market research. Girls, it seems, like inaccessible creeps (‘I like watching you sleep. I find it fascinating’) and serial sex-pests (‘Bond, James Bond’).

In a stroke of genius you combine the two. You have become The Duke of Edinburgh.

Cancer

The first snowfall of the season has got you feeling all festive. You go downstairs, have a row with your friends and family and do unspeakable things to a large poultry bird. Ahhh, the joys of Christmas.

Leo

This week, you wrap yourself in batterypowered fairy lights to make yourself feel special. You take them everywhere with you: lectures, the library, the hive.

Unfortunately, nobody seems to notice.

You wonder what this says about your glittering personality.

Virgo This Wednesday you ironically take shelter in Shelter. You stay there so long that you gain squatting rights.

Hilarity and a short legal battle ensues. How Christmassy.

This week you complete your Christmas shopping, and spend the rest of the week gloating. Venus hates you.

Capricorn

This week, inspired by Walt Disney you decided to cryogenically freeze yourself. Not having the necessary finances to pay CryoFreezeInc3000 to do so, you decided to just keep the heating turned off in your Marchmont flat. You save a fortune on heating bills and wake up surrounded by dinosaurs in space age onesies. Nice one!

CONCISE CLUES (same answers) ACROSS 1 Cycles per second (5) 4 Early trombone (7) 8 Italian dictator (9) 9 Harsh washing liquid (3) 10 Old iron golfclub (7) 12 Part of Wales (5) 13 Short-lived Nursery character (7, 6) 15 Male birds (5) 17 Drumkit cymbals (4-3) 19 Girl (3) 20 Clumsy (3-6) 22 Spilled the beans (7) 23 English composer (5)

Solutions to Dual Crossword No. 25 ACROSS 6 PHENOMENA p + hen + (omen after a) 8 ALB [Lab (oratory)]* 9 RABID B in raid 10 HOT CAKE hake round (OT + c) 11 MOTHER-OF-PEARL dam of P-Earl 14 DOUBLE OR QUITS (But Squire Odo)* round L 17 PUNJABI ( Jain pub)* 18 ERATO to after era 20 MOO moo(n) (vb) 21 ESTANCIAS Castane(t)s* round I

Aquarius

This week, you die in a tragic accident trying to knit yourself a festive woolen jumper. You thought it would be pretty nifty to knit the jumper directly onto your naked torso but due to the cold and damp in your flat, the wool contracts and crushes you like a Boa constrictor but made out of knitted snowflakes and reindeers.

Pisces

This week, you find your flatmate frozen and smothered in knitwear in a lesser used cupboard. You respect their last wishes and cremate them in Christmas pudding and ponder what to write on the death certificate. Merry Christmas.

DOWN 1 Macho type (2-3) 2 Ethiopian prince (3) 3 Israeli nationalist movement (7) 4 Unenterprising (5-2-3-3) 5 Son or daughter (5) 6 Songbird (9) 7 Day of the week (7) 11 Crimean battle (9) 13 Yield, give in (7) 14 Early jazz form (7) 16 A white man in India (5) 18 Royal House (5) 21 Label (3)

DOWN 1 VERB contained Hanover Bank 2 NOODLE (L Doone)* 3 LAPTOP op under (LA + PT) 4 MATA HARI ma + gi) ta (na + hair* 5 ABLE B in ale 6 PYRAMID (pyramid selling) 7 ETHNOLOGIST (Thon Leo)* + gist 12 TRUNNION (Nino, turn)* 13 LESSONS Les (Fr) + sons 15 LEANER (Edward) Lear round (n + e) 16 QUEENS Elizabeth, Mary, Anne : queens of England 17 PUMP pump (kin) 19 AXIS a + six (rev)

DOWN 1 ‘Hot’ title lifted macho type (2-3) 2 Ethiopian prince appears in artist’s cape (3) 3 Jerusalem’s money is seized for Nationalist movement (7) 4 Unimaginative nude with thick mist swirling around (5-2-3-3) 5 Young person reprimanded about Latin (5) 6 Bird, (male and female) found on Scottish island …. (9) 7 …. the day Sue D romped in Scottish river (7) 11 Crimean battle helmet (9) 13 Uranium’s a very small volume in total British yield (7) 14 Tease wee Timothy over English jazz music (7) 16 Hibs in disarray about a gentleman from India (5) 18 This House needs time to cover our democracy’s First Amendment (5) 21 A label to follow (3) The Chambers Dictionary (2008) is recommended.

Comments, questions, complaints etc can reach the compiler via the editors.

* = anagram of the preceding material (rev) = reverse the preceding material

A bit about cryptic clues More on how to construe (decode) the underlying structure of cryptic clues.

Today’s message is very simple. Beware of word pairs such as Tax return, world record or Royal Mail. They may be linked in the surface meaning but not linked in the underlying structure.

Tax return ready on time (4)

TEST

Tax is the definition; return is an indicator to reverse SET (ready) on T (time). In the surface meaning return is a noun, in the underlying structure it’s a verb, an indicator. Also the word pair (here) bridges the DP (definition part) and the NDP (nondefinition part) of the clue.

Mounted cops can slip into English town (10) HUNTINGDON Police on a dawn raid it isn’t. HUNG (Mounted) captures (cops) TIN (can), add DON (slip into). cops, a surface noun, is now a verb (indicator).

Love affair involving head of Royal Mail (6) ARMOUR AMOUR (love affair), round R (head of Royal). Mail (on its own) is the definition.

Mary’s third husband (and current love) is a brute (5) RHINO The underlying structure: R (Mary’s third letter) + H (husband) + IN (current) + O (love).

Unenterprising mice think crazy boss is around (5-2-3-3) STICK-IN-THE-MUD Unenterprising mice and crazy boss are not linked in the underlying structure. crazy is an anagram indicator for mice think: STUD (boss) goes around the result.

So, ignore all surface meanings, find the definition, look for indicators in the NDP to try and work out what type of clue it is – and beware of word pairs.

Next time we’ll have a look at Connectors, lowly, humble items but important nonetheless.

Paid for by the Edinburgh University Students’Association, the opinions and statements expressed within are those of the writer.

A message from the EUSA president James McAsh explains what the EUSA sabbatical officers have been doing We feel that this semester has been incredibly successful for EUSA and Edinburgh students. The four sabbatical officers have been working hard on our manifesto promises but the most exciting thing has been seeing our new democratic structures flourish. We have already seen a dozen or so successful campaigns coordinated through our structures but entirely student-led. This is fantastic.

The biggest campaign by some way was our Defend Education campaign around the NUS’s national demonstration.

200 Edinburgh students travelled down to London to fight for free education paid for through progressive taxation, and for decent jobs for everyone. This is just short of our numbers in 2010 at a demonstration over 5 times the size.

Edinburgh is clearly leading the way in the fight against austerity.

The demo has been my main focus for some months now, along with various bits of internal work which is important but not very interesting for most people, but External Affairs Council has been successful in other areas too.

We have almost successfully won the

campaign for International Student Fees to be fixed, and are awaiting a concrete proposal from the University, which we can expect next month. We also organised a strong delegation for the Scottish Trade Union Congress demonstration against austerity, and co-ordinated a visit of two Palestinians from our twin university, Birzeit, in the West Bank. Next semester it looks like our priorities will be around accommodation, ethical investment and continuing the Defend Education campaign.

Max Crema, vice president for services, has been keen to support student organisations. He is working on securing a more permanent space for the Hearty Squirrel Food Cooperative and has been successful in setting up an Art Committee to curate our new gallery in the Teviot Study.

He has also been engaging students in EUSA services by setting up stakeholder groups for bars, catering, retail and entertainments. Meeting for these groups will be set up in the new year so keep an eye out for dates, they are open to all students.

He was also active in defending

the Bongo Club, which has now successfully found a new home on the Cowgate. It will re-open there in February. Finally, his manifesto pledge to refurbish the Teviot Underground has now been achieved, and is host to a full programme of events.

Andrew Burnie, vice president of academic affairs, has been working with Academic Council on a variety of projects. Two student-led task groups have been set up. One deals with issues around feedback and how it can be improved for students across the university. The other is trying to find out what hidden costs students incur on different course, with the aim of first publishing them and then pressuring the university to eliminate them. In addition to this, some work is being done on improving the provision of podcasting of lectures as both a revision tool and a means for ensuring that the content is accessible to everyone, regardless of their access requirements or learning style. Finally, we are all very busy promoting the 5th annual Teaching Awards – don’t forget to nominate someone!

Hazel Marzetti, vice president for societies and activities, has focused on welfare aspects of her role this semester.

Term kicked off with a remarkably successful Wellbeing Week. This was a series of events encompassing everything from meditation to standup comedy all around the issue of wellbeing. The twelve events were well attended and participants clearly gained a lot from them. Another big project is Zero Tolerance, the campaign to fight sexual harassment in our buildings as well as in the wider community. We are remarkably proud of our recent accreditation by the national campaign and look forward to going further in promoting safety in our venues. Finally, Welfare Council has worked with the Sports Union on a ‘Healthy Body, Healthy Mind’ campaign, which promotes physical health as a means for achieving better mental health. This is an ongoing campaign.

Overall, I feel that Edinburgh students have achieved a lot this semester but there is always room for improvement. We have lots of ideas for next semester in the pipeline but there is always room for more student-

led ideas. Do come along to one of the Student Councils next semester and get involved. Information is available here: www.eusa.ed.ac.uk/democracyand-campaigns/opencouncils And from everyone at EUSA – good luck with your exams and deadlines, have a great holiday!

Theatre buff? Review it!! culture@studentnewspaper.org

holly jameson

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Libraries, words, books, ideas Lene Korseberg fell in love with the infamous Gifted Book Sculptures shown at the Scottish Poetry Library

ook Week Scotland is Scotland’s first national celebration of books and reading, and last week Edinburgh was filled to the brim with events all over the city. According to the Scottish Book Trust who host this vast undertaking, the week-long event is all about encouraging “the whole nation to embrace reading’s unique capacity for empowerment, enrichment, education, solace, pleasure and growth”.

However, Book Week Scotland is not just about reading, per se. It is about finding pleasure in the beauty of words and the endless possibilities found in your own imagination.

“

[Book Week Scotland] is about finding pleasure in the beauty of words and the endless possibilities found in your own imagination" Never has this been expressed more beautifully than with the infamous Gifted Book Sculptures. For those of you who weren’t here during the summer months of 2011, here’s a short recap: 11 beautiful book sculptures made by an anonymous artist were discretely placed around different literary institutions in Edinburgh, including the National Library of Scotland, the Edinburgh Filmhouse, Edinburgh

Lionel asbo MARTIN AMIS Vintage 2012



H

aving never read a Martin Amis novel, I approached Lionel Asbo: State of England free of preconceptions or expectations and found it to be lacking.

The protagonist figure Lionel Asbo is described as a prototype of working class England, complete with a rabid pair of pit bulls and a penchant for porn and beer. He is a sort of cartoon image, a caricature of all negative stereotypes concerning the working class.

His sensitive nephew Desmond perpetually attempts to exceed the societal limitations that press in around him while somehow managing to become entangled in a sexual relationship with his Gran.

The novel opens with fifteen year old Desmond Asbo struggling with the fear of his brutish uncle discovering his affair with his Gran, who by the standards of their dystopian community, Diston, is old.

Lionel then wins the lottery and

International Book Festival and the UNESCO City of Literature Trust.

One was even given to Ian Rankin!

“

These fragile sculptures ... all had a short message from the generous artist: ‘In support of libraries, words, books, ideas...’"

These fragile sculptures, gently carved out from actual books and made more or less purely out of paper, all had a short message from the generous artist: “In support of libraries, words, books, ideas...”.

It has now been more than a year since the last sculpture was located.

When the initial excitement of finding these gifts decreased, there was a unanimous agreement amongst the recipients that these sculptures were too beautiful to be hidden from the public.

After being on tour all around Scotland, shown off to everyone who wished to see, the Gifted Book Sculptures have now finally returned to the city where it all started – Edinburgh.

The Scottish Poetry Library, being the recipient of both the first and the last gift, has appropriately taken on the exhibition, showing ten of the sculptures in all their fantastic glory.

It may be difficult for someone who what follows is a self-destructive image of extreme consumerism and utter anarchy.

It is a novel rife with critiques of modern culture, yet at the same time Amis seems to confuse his intentions.

To be a critique, one must empathize with the characters while these characters seem to merely desensitize us to the plight of the working class. They are absurd archetypes, comic figures whose struggles seem to be the stuff of fiction.

Whilst I must applaud Amis for his experimental form and legendary character depiction, it is not a novel that delights or even incites. It is an endless, cyclical humdrum of poor decisions, poverty, criminality and stupidity.

While Desmond seems to be introduced to save the narrative, to elevate the novel into a state of the nation revelation, he somehow fails to connect with the reader and his penchant for literature and libraries just seems to be an elementary construction, designed to have him perceived as transcendental of his situation.

While presumably intended to be a satire, the novel fails in its intention because of Amis’ inability to produce viable or even likable characters.

Flora Hackett

hasn’t seen these pieces of art for themselves to imagine just how magnificent they are. All of them make references to the literary world of Edinburgh, including works both by Ian Rankin and Robert Louis Stevenson, and they are especially made to reflect the institution to which they were given – particularly fitting was the sculpture given to the Edinburgh Filmhouse, portraying a genuine paper cinema with a real audience, captivated by the story that unfolds before their eyes.

“

The mystery still remains as to who the mysterious artist may be" When you are surrounded by such beautiful art, it is hard to pick a favourite amongst the sculptures.

However, for reasons unknown, I personally fell in love with the sculpture entitled “Lost in a good book...”. This piece beautifully captures the unique property that only a great book has – by merely opening its pages you’re allowed to escape into a world free from the struggles of everyday life.

The mystery still remains as to who the infamous artist might be. In the meantime, if you need a break from revision or just want to look at something beautiful, go along to the Scottish Poetry Library before December 8 and have a look for yourself.

matthew bourne's sleeping beauty Festival Theatre Run ended



O

ne of the most successful British choreographers of his generation, Matthew Bourne has transformed how ballet is perceived worldwide, winning over cynics with his daring challenges to traditional interpretations including an all-male Swan Lake and a proudly kitsch Nutcracker.

“

What bold adaption would Bourne present to complete his Tchaikovsky triology?"

The Festival Theatre was heaving on Tuesday night and the audience held its breath in nervous anticipation. What bold adaptation would Bourne present to complete his Tchaikovsky trilogy and celebrate his company’s 25th Anniversary?

A cursory summary will satisfy

chris scott

B

“THE POETREE”: The first sculpture, found in the Scottish Poetry Library those hoping for Bourne’s signature originality. The ‘good’ fairy is a vampire, the ‘evil’ fairy is killed off after act one and replaced by her darkly seductive son, the Prince is the palace gardenerturned-fairy and Aurora herself is a feisty heroine who toys with the affections of her suitors and arranges secret bedtime meetings with her ‘Prince’.

Gone are the pristine smiles, stiff mime and classical balances on pointe made famous by Margot Fonteyn. But whether in bare feet, high heels, fully masked or asleep, Aurora dances with beauty, conviction and apparent ease.

The fashions of the decades are demonstrated through the choreography. Act one opens in 1890, the year of the ballet’s premiere performance.

Crawling through her nurses’ feet, a mischievous puppet princess frustrates the opportunity for the pomp and flair usually associated with her presentation to the palace. The entrance of the flamboyant feathery fairies suggests a return to tradition, yet their movements are consistently discordant with the music and each fairy has a distinctive, contemporary solo style.

Skipping to 1911, Aurora celebrates her coming of age with complex Edwardian waltzes, perfectly executed, and an electrically tense pas-de-deux

on the garden bench. The hundred year gap, frequently ignored in other productions, is emphasized with modern costumes, scenes of seduction and an eerie cult-like sequence incorporating moves from Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”. The evil Caradoc captivates a repulsed but sympathetic audience in his dance with the lifeless girl.

“

The ‘good’ fairy is a vampire, the ‘evil’ fairy is killed off after act one and replaced by her darkly seductive son, the Prince is the palace gardener-turned-fairy and Aurora herself is a feisty heroine..."

Matthew Bourne searched for the symbolism in Aurora’s journey into womanhood in order to make the familiar story modern. The resulting love story, if more traumatic, is poignant, erotic and breathtakingly powerful.

Alice Hunter Johnston

Theatre buff? Review it!! music@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Culture 21

Star Rating

History: It's behind you! Dame good show Anything but a drag Fairy good Princess A-yawn-aChorus of idiots

Madeleine Ash takes a look back at the history of Britain's favourite festive pastime – pantomime

t’s that time of year again, time for men to prance campily about the stage, donning dresses, makeup and wigs; time for good to triumph over evil and the one time children are allowed to attend the theatre and yell at the actors without being bribed into silence by a parent brandishing a bag of wine gums.

Yes, panto season is here. But how on earth did this peculiar British tradition develop in a land renowned for the stiff upper lip and restraint?

Like many quintessentially British things – including a lovely cup of tea and the Royal family – the origins of pantomime are not British at all. In fact you have to go all the way back to Italy and the 16th century to discover how this bizarre art started.

The Italian performance medium Commedia Dell’arte is commonly cited as its beginnings, contributing much to panto, particularly the inclusion of the dancing and singing elements. It travelled up through France and across to our shores by the end of the 16th century and along the way greater focus was placed on the physicality of the piece and mime, as language barriers prevented the story being carried by spoken word. From here the embryonic form of pantomime began, regarded in Restoration England as a low form of

The rsa show The Royal Scottish Academy 'til 31 Jan 2012



T

he new RSA show proves that exciting curation can dress up slightly mediocre work. Featuring a pick-and-mix of well-established and recently graduated artists, the exhibition throws together a huge variety of styles and mediums with overarching success. However, viewing each piece individually, you are struck with the disappointing safeness of some of the

www.guardian.co.uk

I

BIT OF A COO: Things are not always what they seem in Pantomime opera – though the actual term ‘pantomime’ was not used until the 18th century.

Throughout the 1700s these performances developed from an additional piece tacked onto the end of a main performance to a show in their own right. Competition between theatres began to grow, seeing who could put on the most elaborate, topical and comic pantomime. It was also in this period that the incorporation of a harlequinade began – this was the addition of a clown-like figure who takes the

principal role and uses a huge amount of slapstick comedy. In fact this is when the term ‘slapstick’ itself developed, relating to a wooden stick the Harlequin carried and used as a sword and a wand.

It had a an additional flap of wood attached that would make a large bang, or ‘slap’ noise, when swung – thus emphasising the comic effect of hitting a fellow actor: voilà, slapstick comedy.

It was in the 1800s that panto gained the traditional structure we still see today: the use of fairy tales as the storyline, cross dressing dames (thank

work.

The various playful pen and ink drawings such as Chris Well’s Where’s Wally-esque “Roses in the Rain” are the highlights of the show. With the 80 centimeter size limit on all work, it is perhaps unsurprising that the more delicate and intricate work is perfectly suited to the small-scale requirement.

Elsewhere there is some successful photography: James Murray Grant evokes Ansel Adams’s celebration of his country with a Scottish vantage point in his silverprint “Loch Na Damph, Glenlyon” while Ryan Laing cleverly reflects imagery in the sky and on the ground in the surreal “Cowman”.

It is the variety of media that keeps

the show interesting. Next to a realistic painting of the reflection in a teaspoon you might find a video installation exploring the beauty of flowing water.

It’s refreshing that the show includes some of the less sellable but more forward-thinking mediums such as video art. In a show designed to sell to the general public the gallery should be applauded for its selection of a real diversity of work.

However, narrowed down from a mere thousand entries to around 350 pieces, there is a sense that the judges didn’t have to be too critical in their selections.

Unlike the London Royal Academy’s much larger scale version of the

you, Joseph Grimaldi), the principal boy being played by a woman and the entrance of evil characters from stage left and the good from stage right (something to look out for at the panto this Christmas). Although pantos have had to adapt to survive, all of these elements – established over 200 years ago – are still present today.

As early as 1846 critics were commenting that “pantomime is no longer what it used to be. They have had their day.” However, defying these cynics, a panto can still be found in most major towns in Britain at Christmas time, often led by celebrity guests – a nod to British music hall traditions.

So, having incorporated influences from Italy, France and Britain, we have done what we do best: repackaged them as quintessentially British and celebrated them with national enthusiasm and pride, something you should continue to do this Christmas. Go to the theatre, get involved, scream, shout, laugh, clap uproariously and generally be delightfully silly. Take a break from being restrained and British for a couple of hours – but on leaving make sure you queue in an orderly fashion and avoid all conversation with strangers that doesn’t begin with a discussion of the weather.

exhibition, there are quite a few ‘filler’ pieces in the show; a few too many watercolours of French patisseries in the sunshine and generic abstracts with questionable colour choices.

As advertised, the RSA show offers something to take home for Christmas.

The reasonably affordable prices and huge range of styles mean that the exhibition caters for any taste.

Although exciting curating and the inclusion of a few token progressive pieces must mask some of the weaker works, the show succeeds in its initial aims – even if they are somewhat conventional.

Figgy Guyver

THE POETRY DOCTOR with Isabella Flanders

This week: The Poetry Doctor on the potential minefield of taking your loved one home for Christmas

This could turn into either a nightmare or a dream situation. Perhaps your girlfriend will agree to come because she won’t feel comfortable enough to tell you she’s petrified. Her crippling politeness will cause tensions which surface during Doctor Who, culminating in your mother threatening her with the carving knife. Or maybe she will embrace the opportunity, ruthlessly ingratiating herself with your whole family, down to your sister’s pet

beetles. When she competently slots the final piece of the family jigsaw into place amid adoring gazes, you’ll know you made the right decision.

As you have identified, it all depends on whether you’re ‘there’ yet.

Liz Lochead’s “Box Room” describes a fraught ‘meet the parents’ situation: “Where do I fit into the picture?” the alienated girlfriend wonders as she inspects his old photographs, finding it hard to square her perception of him with the person he is at home.

Conversely, John Betjeman’s “A Subaltern’s Love Song” tells of the rapture felt by a completely enamoured suitor, whose family visit is so successful that he spontaneously proposes marriage. Unlike Lochead’s narrator, the subaltern revels in seeing his beloved in a more intimate setting.

Bear in mind that external milestones such as meeting family have to

be preceded by internal ones. In John Donne’s “The Good Morrow”, the two lovers are so absorbed in their shared world that their past lives don’t matter. Paradoxically though, being this besotted can create a great curiosity about a person’s background.

If you both feel the way Donne and his lover do here, you will appreciate a chance to learn about undiscovered facets in one another’s lives by reaching that exciting external milestone of a trip home.

It may seem odd to get so excited about a beetle collection, but as Donne says, “Love all love of other sights controls.”

Got a problem? We can cure you!

All problems will be treated confidentially. And ever so seriously. Email us at poetrydoctor.studentnewspaper@gmail. com.

This week's cultural spectrum.

I

(In)equal Opportunities

n the past week the world of theatre has been all abuzz with the news of yet another Shakespeare adaptation.

This one, to be played out at the Donmar Warehouse, is an all-female Julius Caesar – set in a women’s prison.

It is apt, then, that it is being directed by Phyllida Lloyd; a real champion of women in the acting world.

Her previous work includes an all-female Taming of the Shrew, the female focused Mamma Mia and the film The Iron Lady about Margaret Thatcher, the only female British prime minister in history.

Lloyd herself has indicated this all-female casting is designed, in some way, to redress the dearth of parts on offer for women. This summer Equity found that, at subsidised theatres, roles for men “significantly outweigh those for women”, something anyone who is in anyway involved with theatre will already know. The chance to play Caesar and Brutus certainly gives the starry female cast of this production a break from playing the supporting, restrained roles more usually assigned to their gender. Indeed, cross casting gives rise to interesting new interpretations of previously done to death characters and speeches (I am particularly excited to see Francis Barber’s Caesar).

However, it is part of a trend of ‘all – x’ casts that I find frustrating.

For example, currently playing at the Apollo are two all-male productions of Twelfth Night and Richard III, while earlier this year we saw an all-black Julius Caesar by the RSC and an allblack Cat on a Hot Tin Roof transfer from Broadway. If we are striving for equal opportunities casting to redress the imbalance of opportunity in theatre, surely an exclusive all-anything cast is not the way to go about it.

Call me idealistic, but if we want to be gender and ethnicity blind, great. Let’s cast a show where the best auditionee gets the part, regardless of whether Rosalind is male or Macbeth black. That way we avoid an all anything club, the best actors get the part and we can rest safely in the knowledge that this is true equal opportunities theatre.

Madeleine Ash

Look oot for...

Mother Goose is the panto choice at King's Theatre this year. Running from December 1 to January 13, there's plenty of opportunity to go and indulge your inner child this Christmas.

Anthonie Chiu Smit

Dear Poetry Doctor, I can’t decide whether it would be a good idea to take my girlfriend home for the holidays. Though we’ve only been dating since the start of the semester, we spend practically all our time together. I don’t want to suggest it if she would feel pressured, but I think she would get on with my family. How do I tell whether we’re ‘there’ yet?

ROYGBIV

At noon on December 5 bestselling crime author Ian Rankin will be in Blackwell’s to sign copies of his new Inspector Rebus novel, Standing in Another Man’s Grave.

The perfect Christmas gift for any book lover!

The Open Eye Gallery opened a new series of exhibitions on Monday December 3, including selected monochromaic works. They are Artists invited for Christmas and New Jewellery.

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Theatre buff? Review it!! culture@studentnewspaper.org

22 Culture

‘Tis the season at Summerhall

Troy Holmes gets an exclusive preview of Summerhall’s brand new season of exhibitions beginning this month

his week we were fortunate enough to get a sneak preview of Summerhall’s ten new exhibitions while they were installing the new shows and to meet with the lovely Stephen Thorpe, assistant curator and painter.

The exhibitions opening on December 15 include the V&A's Transformation & Revelations: From Gormley to Gaga stage design exhibition, Summerhall’s very first painting exhibition, some previously thought ‘lost’ photographs of Joseph Beuys and Andy Warhol and an artist’s premonition of his own death.

Thorpe explained that Summerhall’s broad approach is down to the fact that it is privately owned and actively avoids public funding.

The head curator, Paul Robertson, is an avid art collector – some pieces from his collection are shown in the Phenotype Genotype exhibition previously reviewed by The Student. His avant-garde collection includes big names such as Warhol, Hirst and Dali.

Thorpe took us from the cafe, which houses the POP into the café exhibition, to the lower floor where the Brazillian artist Antonio Claudio Carvalho’s works were already hung. His satirical look at modern art suits Summerhall well; he is subversive yet fun and mocking without being too cruel.

The walls of this intimate space were lined with small scale, minimalistic prints of mock book covers and re-workings of famous artworks.

Cezanne’s apples became the Apple Mac symbol while Jackson Pollock’s unrestrained splatters were converted into concentrated pixels on a white background.

We were then lead upstairs to an empty space where Thorpe’s own paintings will soon be hung. When he showed

crampton Hodnet BARBARA PYM Virago Press 2012



H

ailed as one of the most overlooked authors of the 20th century by literary figures such as Philip Larkin and John Betjeman, Barbara Pym’s book Crampton Hodnet is distinctly well-crafted. The middle-class domestic setting and gently ironic style make this seem as if it had flowed from the fountain pen of a 1950s take on a Jane Austen novel.

Taking place in North Oxford around Randolph College, the narrative involves a whole host of characters in the scandal that is the romance between an Oxford don, Mr Cleveland, and a beautiful and promising student.

Miss Doggett. The nosy, elderly aunt is gleefully disapproving, Mrs Cleveland is carefully ignorant and the community is outraged.

The picture of a small, conservative town, of church fairs, afternoon tea and salacious gossip is painted with care and wry humour. The plot is slow to unfold but it is the characters that make

False Histories and confusions in Time 1886 by stephen thorpe - www.saatchionline.com

T

THROUGH SPACE AND TIME: Stephen Thorpe's paintings go on show at Summerhall on December 15 us his studio, we got a glimpse of some unfinished works and were privileged to experience his spatially impressive architectural works first-hand. Again, his work is perfect for Summerhall.

The building is a series of different and contrasting spaces that the gallery has to work with and around due to the constraints of the original structure as the Dick Veterinary School.

Its previous function as the Veterinary School is still very obvious. Rather than ripping everything out and starting again, the curators have chosen to marry the two, tweaking each space as they need it.

It’s enjoyable to see the playful relationship between the building’s past and future which allows for some interesting curation and design. The Royal

Dick bar is a great example, decorated with previously used veterinary equipment; you can even rest your pint down on an old dissection table.

Upstairs in the main building, we were shown the partly installed Lost Photographs of Warhol and Beuys, which were thought to be gone forever until Summerhall found them on eBay, promptly verified their authenticity

this book and give it the charm it possesses. The narrator is omniscient, privy to all the characters' thoughts – silly, profound and otherwise.

Created more by what people think and see than by what they say, the stifling social order and moral code are revealed behind a façade of friendly smiles and slices of fruit cake. It is deliciously involving; the little world of North Oxford and the irony which pervades the narrative make for lighthearted reading.

soft mockery and wry humour are often lost on the reader, too.

cinderella

“

The picture of a small, conservative town, of chruch fairs, afternoon tea and salacious gossip is painted with care and wry humour" However the irony is perhaps a little too delicately crafted and subtle to make the social commentary seem intended.

Somehow it is dwarfed by the comfort and quiet of small-town life. The characters know nothing of the irony of the narrator and the fact that they and their world are so involving means that the

“

Written with compassion and an understanding of what it means to be human – flawed and hopeful – Pym has woven a loveable tale of truly recognisable people" This is a good book to read on a rainy Sunday afternoon with a cup of tea.

Contained, safe and humorous without being sickly sweet, this is a story that is engrossing and character driven.

Written with compassion and an understanding of what it means to be human – flawed and hopeful – Pym has woven a loveable tale of truly recognisable people.

The only disappointment is a tangible sense that this novel, just like its characters, never quite reached fruition.

Hannah Doughty

Royal Lyceum Theatre 'til 29 Dec



C

inderella at the Royal Lyceum is a rather unorthodox telling of the age-old fairy tale. Set in modernday Paris, the ugly sisters are slapstick Glaswegian trailer trash; the Prince is a reality TV star obsessed with tanning and increasing his viewership; the evil stepmother is a formidable dominatrix and in place of a fairy godmother, Cinderella’s dead mother is manifested in the form of the tree of life that hovers above her, giving her guidance through her trials and tribulations.

Cinderella’s life is thrown into turmoil when her father falls victim to the evil stepmother who is on a cruel mission to abolish all traces of love in the world. Cinderella is certain that Prince Pierre will be her salvation, but alas he transpires to be too vain and egotistical and instead an endearing, silent servant boy proves himself to be her knight in shining armour.

The script written by Johnny MacKnight is clever and current, with witty references to Downton Abbey and Silent Witness. The story line takes a few too

and bought them. These photos offer a chance to see the charmingly odd world of these two infamous fathers of contemporary art. The room adjacent will house Phillip Broutin’s much darker and more contemplative installation “One Day”, a confrontation of the inevitability of his own death. This will manifest in sound, poetry and even a death mask made by the artist.

Evidence of the V&A exhibition is everywhere, but nowhere more so than the largest space at Summerhall, the upper rooms of the church. Empty vitrines to house the costumes and designs scatter the building, buzzing with possibilities. The exhibition will celebrate a broad selection of stage designs from performances like Lady Gaga’s world tour and the highly acclaimed Warhorse.

Round the back of the building, remnants of vast outdoor installations left from the Fringe lie scattered next to the working artist’s studios and the micro brewery that makes Barney’s Beer on site.

Through the creation of art on site, the fabric of the building breathes with life because it is constantly being challenged, used and changed.

A place like Summerhall needs active participation for that concept to work.

That involvement begins with artists making work and is only completed when the public explores the space in order to experience the art itself.

Just like the V&A vitrines which currently stand empty, Summerhall is brimming with creative potential that is being realised more clearly with every new set of exhibitions and hopefully the new offerings beginning on December 15 will live up to that.

No pressure...

many liberties with the original fairy tale, however, and at times the fact that the main character is named Cinderella seems to be the only real connection to the original fable. Although MacKnight’s script attemps to strike a balance of entertainment value for adults and classic dramatic pantomime moments for the wide eyed children in the audience, the show misses the family friendly mark. The crude language and frequent scenes of a sexual and sinister nature mean that the show doesn't cater for kids, as you would expect the Lyceum Christmas production to.

The performances are polished and energetic and there is a really nice dynamic between all the cast. The singing is of West End standard but the choreography falls slightly short of a top notch production. Cinderella’s mother, who is suspended in mid air for much of the show, is at first a novelty but soon seems like a failed attempt to recreate the magic of Wicked.

Overall, the show, although very witty and energetic, felt a little contrived and confused about its target audience.

Perhaps had the production taken a few more leaves out of the original Cinderella’s book, it would have been a more self assured, coherent production.

Eva O'Connor

Theatre buff? Review it!! culture@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Culture 23

COMMISSION #12: jenny salmean This is not an image of an artwork. It is not referring to another absent object.

This image is not an index, it is a thing itself.

Jenny Salmean is a third year Intermedia student at ECA.

Tuesday December 4 2012�

studentnewspaper.org

Follow ������� us ��� on ��� twitter �������� @EdStudentMusic ���������������� or ��� on ��� Facebook ��������� at ��� facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper ��������������������������������� music@studentnewspaper.org

This year's album round-up

The Student takes you through all those newfound classics you may have missed with their albums of the year.

The xx

THe philistines jr

DEXYS

COEXIST YOUNG TURKS

ONE DAY I'M GOING TO SOAE BMG

IF A LOT OF BANDS PLAYED IN THE WOODS TARQUIN RECORDS

DIIV

FEEDER

OSHIN CAPTURED TRACKS

GENERATION FREAKSHOW BIG TEETH MUSIC

n first listen, Coexist seemed a uite simply, the comeback of hen DIIV surfaced from the deep eeder’s eighth studio album just O weaker, lukewarm follow-up to Qthe year. 25 years since their last hen The Philistines Jr. unleashed W with Oshin back in June the man F goes to show that they’ve got their The XX’s dynamic debut. This preju- release, Dexys and their remarkable W the first half of this album, it was behind it all, Zachary Cole Smith, had sound down to a tee. Easily confused dice soon changes when the album is front man Kevin Rowland continue to good enough as a stand alone act. been through a bit of a rough time. Re- with the likes of the Foo Fighters as appreciated as a whole. Surprisingly, the album’s most famous track “Angels” does not do the spectacular, subtle work justice. However as the album develops, diversity and experimentation evolve. “Swept Away” epitomises the album’s experimental brilliance.

Repeated echoing, ghostly harmonies and minimal use of instruments feature throughout the album. These often give way to powerful silences, such as in “Swept Away”, which gracefully falls into a catchy, melodic bridge with exotic percussion use. The question of genre becomes an interesting and impossible one, as generic diversity is explored. The need to appreciate the album as a whole is especially relevant for the interlinked, chronological trio of “Reunion”, “Sunset”, and “Missing”.

A theme of heartbeat symbolised by varying percussion is explored, showing the “heart is beating in a different way”.

Overall, the silences and inquisitive use of instruments and genre show the album’s experimental, artistic extension of The XX’s original, quirky sound.

Jack Skelton

confound expectations and refuse to conform to the nostalgia fuelled and painfully unoriginal reunions we’ve seen so much of in recent times. This album dumps much of the pomp and excess of tracks like “Geno” and “Come on Eileen” in favour of something more reserved and soulful. Yet it still contains everything that made Dexys so loved and so magnificent. Upbeat and honest, it carries Rowland’s trademark of brutally honest lyricism backed up by the occasional delightful outbreak of brass. “Incapable of Love” is the stand out example, and soars above anything else released this year.

“

Dexys and their remarkable frontman Kevin Rowland continue to confound expectations.”

This may be a new Dexys, but they remain as endearing as they ever were.

Phil Smith

However, the subsequent follow up of the second half, a talent-pool collection of artists’ cover versions of the album itself, gives credit to The Philistines Jr.’s bragging habit of saying their friends are some of the world’s best.

“

Enough to say this deserves to be called not just the best but the most surprising album of the year.”

It becomes almost a game trying to muster a decision as to which half of the album is better, but this isn’t to say the Philistines Jr. have been overshadowed by their coverers (pardon the pun), but that to stand even in contention with the likes of Jonsi & Alex, The National and Frightened Rabbit is enough to say this deserves to be called not just the best, but the most surprising album of this year.

Elsie Ward

turning home from a mammoth tour as live guitarist for fellow Brooklyn dwellers Beach Fossils, poor Cole found that all his friends simply weren’t around any more.

So, as anyone would, he rented a studio/living space and made an album fuelled by a diet of nothing but lentils and his own imagination. Isolation proved a brilliant move, as it resulted in an album of shimmering escapism and child-like innocence; exhilarating dream pop, which in itself is no small achievement. What makes Oshin so incredible is its atmosphere as a whole.

It’s not smothered in reverb but nestled in it, allowing such killer riffs as that of “How Long Have You Known?” to shine through and walk the perfect line between hazy shoegaze and straightup pop, all driven home by powerful krautrock rhythms that give an all important sense of direction to all the dreaminess. Ultimately though, Oshin must be appreciated as a thing of inexplicable beauty, the mystery making it all the more magnificent.

Joe Smith

classic rockers, the British powerhouse has produced another album full of pounding anthems. They’ve promoted Generation Freakshow at the juggernaut Reading and Leeds festivals this year, once again securing their status as festival veterans with their catchy rock tunes that scream retro in the coolest of forms.

“

Festival veterans.”

“In All Honesty”, “Borders” and “Idaho” are all highlights that are just as impressive as their arguably biggest hit “Just A Day”. The lilting “In All Honesty” is hard not to sing along to. The lyrics, “In all honesty I always thought that we would just be friends/ Looking back on faded photographs, the everchanging trends/ I’ll wait for you” tickle your ears until you have no choice but to sing out loud and proud.

Strong, powerful and simply more of what we’ve come to love from Feeder, Generation Freakshow is undoubtedly one of the best albums of 2012.

Kate Walker

The twilight sad NO ONE CAN EVER KNOW FAT CAT RECORDS

with the astonishing No One Can Ever Know.

Mature is often a word thrown around when describing a band’s latest effort, but the cliche truly holds here.

Gone is the distorted wall of sound in favour of spine-chilling synth-led pieces, while James Graham’s lyrics are still cryptic without becoming completely inaccessible. Such feats are achieved without cashing in on a zeitgeist, and The Twilight Sad remain one of the world's most esoteric bands, like a cult you’re scared to lose your children to.

Opener “Alphabet” is a haunting, heartbreaking song of emotional contradictions, and “Kill It In the Morning” is possibly the most equally menacing and danceable song of the twenty-first century; but if truth be told, every song has a dark secret of its own and the album demands countless listens to unravel its intricate mysteries.

No One Can Ever Know is dark, defiant and often disturbing. In a word: sublime.

Kieran Johnson

NIC SHONFIELD

nfazed following the departure U of their original bassist, Scottish three-piece The Twilight Sad returned

THE TWLIGHT SAD: Looking cheerful on their yearly Christmas walk.

Follow us on twitter @EdStudentMusic or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper

music@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

25 Music DR. John

Orange GOBLIN A Eulogy for the Damned CANDLELIGHT RECORDS

Locked Down NONESUCH RECORDS ith George Square library filling up and the German market appearing again, it must be time for all the self-righteous music journalists in the land to sit down and show just how hipster they are by revealing what their favourite album of the year that you never heard of is.

And as I am certainly self-righteous and masquerade as a music journalist, my pick has to be Locked Down by New Orleans’s very own Dr John.

While Locked Down is not quite a comeback album, it is definitely a return to form for the Night Tripper.

With Dan Auerbach on board as producer, The Doctor has returned to his roots, harnessing his swamp funk soul to create an album full of top drawer tunes.

This is clear right from the off, on Locked Down, when we are led in with the sinister laughter, chimes and chanting we first heard on Gris Gris.

While for most albums, there is a midway slump, Locked Down is consistent. We hear Dr. John breaking out the organ and overlaying it with some funky basslines and creole to create the authentic voodoo feel which has been missing for his more recent albums.

Niall Carville

E

range Goblin is the British institution you have never heard of.

For heavy metal fans the length and breadth of the country, going to see Orange Goblin on their annual UK tour is the equivalent to turkey at Christmas – you could leave it out, but it would just be wrong. Their latest album A Eulogy for the Damned shows new and old fans exactly why they have built such a fearsome reputation. From the opening strands of “Red Tide Rising” through “The Filthy and the Few” and right up to closer “A Eulogy for the Damned” the Goblin never once let up with their infectious brand of fun stoner metal.

While other Orange Goblin and stoner genre music is liable to lose you in the guitar wankery of long tracks that never really go anywhere, A Eulogy for the Damned is full of hot 4 minute tracks that leave you screaming for more.

“

Leave you screaming for more."

Make no mistake, Orange Goblin and A Eulogy for the Damned are the best band and album you did not listen to this year. Sort it out.

Stuart Iversen

Killer mike

CLOUD NOTHINGS

R.A.P. Music WILLIAMS STREET RECORDS

Attack On Memory WICHITA RECORDINGS

recking Ball marks the return of The Boss. His 17th studio album, it puts Springsteen on a par with Elvis Presley in the US as third place holder of most number one albums of all time, and it ultimately classes the New Jersey rocker amongst the very best.

It’s my chosen release of the year because, although a rock album in essence, it lends itself to a blend of surprisingly diverse musical influences, ranging from traditional Irish folk on “American Land” to an interesting inclusion of hip-hop on “Rocky Ground”. It’s also a master class in songwriting.

“

Almost like a musical manifesto."

What is so good about Bruce Springsteen is that he is innovative in his approach to making music. Not content with resting on his laurels and putting out an average album that will undoubtedly sell very well, he attempts to broaden his musical genre and get a proper political message across. It’s almost like a musical manifesto: a blunt, intricate expression of everything that Springsteen stands for.

Laura Cain

T

his stunning debut album from American trio We Are Augustines is at once immensely resonant yet introspective, poignant yet uplifting.

“

Simultaneously cathartic and hopeful."

The album is heavily informed by the band’s own personal tragedies, most notably lead singer and guitarist Billy McCarthy’s experiences with his schizophrenic mother and brother, both of whom committed suicide in harrowing circumstances. The latter’s ghost haunts the album, whether referred to directly in “Book of James” and “Patton Street Hospital”, or just in the emotionally raw tone of most of the songs, with McCarthy’s gravelly voice that seems constantly on the point of breaking matching the subject matter perfectly. Drawing on such tragic source material, the album is naturally imbued with a sense of innate sadness.

Yet it is also simultaneously cathartic and hopeful. It leaves you with the powerful message to never give in to abject despair, even at your lowest point.

Jack Skelton

F

ew albums in any genre are as intimate and personal as Kendrick Lamar’s good kid, m.A.A.d city. The listener is part of an audience as much as part of his family – drawn deep into the album’s narrative where we witness the progression of his growth as a human being. We’re taken through adolescent love, rebellion against his family, and his first foray into hip hop through the encouragement of his friends over G-funk hooks and backseat bangers, with moments of reflection seamlessly woven in. The influence of his environment is a major theme. We often witness Lamar struggling to cope with the acceptance of his peers, and his willingness as a kid to sacrifice his morals to achieve it. Over the bass heavy and grinding 808 beat of m.A.A.d City, Lamar’s voice rises to a broken higher pitch as he sounds defensive and even scared. This might make the album seem a little heavy-handed, but it’s not.

This is an intimate character arc that is nothing short of exquisite, both subtle and ostentatious at all the right moments – but it never feels forced.This is not only the best hip-hop album of the year but possibly the decade.

James Tuchel

W

ith Attack On Memory, Dylan Baldi took Cloud Nothings from being a sub-Wavves bedroom recording project to becoming a living, breathing indie rock powerhouse on their first studio album, recorded by the legendary Steve Albini. Each of the record’s eight songs demonstrates a band at the height of their songwriting and technical abilities, from the slacker-pop of “Stay Useless” to the atmospheric Slint-isms of lead single “No Future/No Past”. Attack on Memory is an invigorating and dynamic listen that puts Cloud Nothings leaps and bounds ahead of their contemporaries.

If it was released in the 1980s, it would be mentioned alongside Husker Du’s New Day Rising and Wipers’ Youth of America in terms of classic status, but instead the Ohio band will have to settle for having released the best rock album of the year.

Emmett Cruddasl

WE ARE AUGUSTINES: Christmas is cancelled

CLOUD NOTHINGS: No Christmas future/no Christmas past

Prefix magazine

Each Not Secure

x-OutKast affiliate Michael Render has been putting out a string of great releases over the past decade, but teaming up with visionary producer/rapper El-P led to the astonishing R.A.P. Music: a certifiable modern classic and a game changer in southern hip-hop.

Decidedly edgier and more dynamic than any number of other high budget releases coming out of Atlanta, R.A.P. Music features consistently confrontational and insightful performances, with Killer Mike bringing more energy than most rappers half his age.

Tackling themes from the Reagan administration to the history of music by the eponymous Rebellious African People over El’s faultless futuristic production from start to finish, Killer Mike has released one of the most impressive and important rap albums in recent memory.

Emmett Cruddasl

W

good kid, m.A.A.d. city AFTERMATH/INTERSCOPE

Rise Ye Sunken Ships OXCART RECORDS

Wrecking Ball COLUMBIA RECORDS

O

Kendrick Lamar

Contact Music

W

WE ARE AUGUSTINES

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN

KENDRICK LAMAR: Swapping money trees for fir trees

����� Love ������ film? ���� Let ��� us ������� know! ���������� Follow us ����������� on twitter ����������������� @TheStudentPaper ��� or ��� on ������������ Facebook at �������������������������������� facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper film@studentnewspaper.org

JOANNA LISOWIEC

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

The Christmas films we love, actually

great expectations Directed by mike newell  he Christmas season rolls round T and inevitably Charles Dickens is churned out. Mike Newell takes his turn

to adapt Great Expectations, and it largely conforms to audience expectations. The rags-to-riches story of blacksmith Pip is familiar, and apart from attractive young faces, little is made new.

Fitted to the role she seemed born to play, Helena Bonham Carter’s Miss Havisham somehow falls flat – a caveat not usually imposed on this actress so talented in portraying the gothic and deranged. Perhaps the apparently perfect casting was in fact restraining, for despite fragile, ghostly dresses and looks, Miss Havisham’s scenes in her cobwebbed time capsule never seem to rise above plot progressions.

Indeed, many of the characters resemble caricatures within set pieces.

Newell’s straightforward retelling of Dickens’ tale somehow manages to ren-

ELF MATCH.COM : Buddy spots a beautiful sight: an etch- a-sketch hanging on a Christmas tree jolly elves.

Buddy (Will Ferrell) grows up not really noticing that he is freakishly huge but discovers that he is, in fact, a human because of his terrible toy making skills. He then decides to embark on a quest to find his father. From here on, the primary sources of comedy are Buddy’s ineptitude at life. Buddy is helped along the way by the unusually named Jovie (an oddly blonde Zooey Deschanel) and they go on to save Christmas. Lovely.

Although it is at the top of nobody’s

list of favourites, Christmas with the Kranks is an undervalued treat. Luther and Nora Krank (Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis) decide that as their daughter is away in Peru, they’ll skip Christmas and go on a cruise instead.

Hilarity obviously ensues when daughter Blair ( Julie Gonzalo) announces a surprise visit and the Krank duo have just hours to create the perfect Christmas – made much more difficult as they have been ostracised by their neighbours because they didn’t put an enormous, and incredibly ugly, light-up

snowman on their roof.

Yes, it’s predictable, yes the jokes aren’t all that funny; but in the end, when everything works out alright, you’re left with a warm feeling that lasts for at least 20 minutes – certainly worth it. (That was not a spoiler; at no point in this film do you expect that there might be a last minute disaster which ruins Christmas.)

If you have more time to kill, you can always embark on a marathon viewing of Home Alone or The Santa Clause. In Home Alone Kevin (Macaulay Culkin)

later in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York Kevin’s parents have learned very little and there is similar merriment. Kevin gets a break in Home Alone 3 but makes a return in Home Alone 4, which is absolutely dreadful.

The first instalment of The Santa Clause sees Tim Allen’s first appearance as a reluctant celebrator of Christmas, later to be reprised in Christmas with the Kranks. Allen plays cynical father Scott Calvin who - after accidently killing Santa and proceeding to wear the dead man’s clothes - unintentionally signs up to be the new Santa Clause.

Scott then transforms into Santa and struggles to acclimatise to the new role - luckily escaping a murder trial of which there is no mention. Great, all-round family fun. The Santa Clause 2 and 3 are forgettable, so forgettable in fact that they may not exist.

Of course, there’s more than just the festive DVD collection to enjoy.

The final Christmas TV schedule will be confirmed imminently and there will, of course, be a plethora of madefor-TV Christmas movies to truly ignite the festive spirit within, scheduled around all of the Christmas staples.

Everyone’s favourite publication of the year – the bumper double edition of the Radio Times – is released on December 8 so you can commence planning when to squeeze in some turkey around It’s a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street and all of the Home Alones.

Merry Christmas!

der it less masterful. Everything is expected rather than anticipated and plot twists resemble clunky machinations.

Only Ralph Fiennes adds depth to the supporting cast. His turn as Magwitch, while not shedding new light on the established character, brings some needed life into the film. His scenes with Pip even achieve a poignancy that rises above sentiment.

“

Mike Newell's straightforward retelling of Dickens' tale somehow manages to render it less masterful."

It is an alluring cast – not only star spangled with classic actors but sprinkled with bright young things. Holliday Grainger’s doll like charm shines as Estella and Jeremy Irvine (much like Douglas Booth in the BBC adaptation shown earlier this year) provides a gorgeous Pip. These two do put actual character and soul into the piece; Grainger’s performance is notable for managing to

BFI.Org.com

shouldn’t be an excuse not to revel in a little (or indeed too much) festive nostalgia. It’s time to crack out the mince pies, tinsel, baubles and don the all important Christmas jumper, completely ignore exams and settle down in front of some Christmas classics.

There comes a time, around September, when most people will feel an overwhelming urge to watch Love Actually – and who can blame them. It’s the ultimate Christmas extravaganza – essentially nine different films all wrapped up into one package, excellently gift-wrapped (with a cinnamon stick).

If you have lasted this long without watching it then go ahead, it’s time – if, like most others you watched it once during summer, twice in October and have been watching your favourite bits on YouTube throughout the whole of November then it’s probably time to watch it again.

It has everything anyone could want from a film: graphic sex, a dramatic chase through an airport, a singing lobster, a diplomatic crisis between the UK and US and even some subtitles. If you can’t find something to like about Love Actually then you’re simply lying.

Elf is sure to warm the heart cockles of even the biggest scrooge. Santa unwittingly steals a baby from an orphanage and takes him back to the North Pole. The child, who comes to be known as Buddy after a hilarious misunderstanding, is then raised as an elf at the North Pole with Santa and his

allmoviephoto.com

Alasdair Drennan takes us on a whirlwind tour of everyone’s favourite Christmas classics end of term. Unfortunately the is left at home by his feckless-idiotIfilmst’sdaystheinofschool watching endless Christmas excuses for parents and he commences have long gone, but this a career in fighting crime. Two years

GREAT HAIR-EXTENSIONS: Helena Bonham Carter plays against type as a deranged, gothic.... Oh, wait. humanise Estella’s cold, proud beauty.

Yet the young stars cannot bring enough vivacity to fully liven the film.

But perhaps this interpretation is overly harsh. Some of Newell’s scenes are effective and original. The dining habits and behaviour of the gentleman’s

club appear drawn from contemporary notions of the young elite – right down to the hairstyles, these gents could be eccentrically dressed members of the infamous Bullingdon Club. Additionally, at the core it is an indisputably fine story.

It may be a standard retelling, maybe

superfluous, but familiarity is not necessarily fatal. More flat than forceful, yes – but when force is not wanted it could be harmless fun.

Perhaps it’s just not really Christmas without a bit of Dickens.

Eloise Hendy

Love film? Let us know! Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper film@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Film 27

Star Rating  Furby Gameboy Colour Socks  SatsumaCoal

Sightseers Directed bY ben wheatley  um! I’ve finally met someone I M actually like and I’m going on ‘oliday with him!” shouts an exasperat-

hristmas is many a filmmakers’ C wet dream. People are so attached to the stereotypically sentimental feel

“

Despite its very promising start, however, the film gradually runs dry on ideas, losing its focus and wit."

Of course Tina (not the brightest of serial killer girlfriends) doesn’t know this during the first half, allowing for an extremely enjoyable comedy of manners.

“I just want to be feared and respected,” muses Chris as the film shamelessly plays with the peculiarities, stereotypes and insecurities stemming from the British class system.

Aided by an enjoyably bold script and direction (the naturalistic portrayal of murders and sexual activities is treated without so much as a flinch), the comedy is sharp and delivers many

The hunt Directed by Thomas vinterberg 

T

he basic premise of this film is very simple. Danish nursery teacher Lucas (Mads Mikkelson) is accused of indecently exposing himself to his best friend’s daughter, Klara, (Annika Wedderkopp) and as this news spreads throughout the town his life and relationships slowly fall apart. The film’s progression is relatively predictable, yet it paints an unnervingly familiar picture of the damage a rumour can cause in a very close knit community.

“

The clout of this film lies in its subtle understatement. The lack of clarity in the characters' emotions clashes with the very definite effect of them."

The events unfold from the perspective of Lucas and his son as the situation spirals out of their control and an atmosphere of desperate frustration surrounds them.

Violent and awkward social situations are underpinned by long, close up shots and ambiguous dialogue, while the impossibility of proving his innocence becomes apparent and the stance of his accusers becomes increasingly understandable.

The paedophilic nature of his accusations leaves you wondering whether the

FIlmoria.com

ed Tina (Alice Lowe) to her entranced mother (Eileen Davies) minutes into Sightseers, presumably foreshadowing what’s about to follow.

This, however, turns out to only be half true, as we quickly discover, the “erotic Odyssey” around North Yorkshire planned by her boyfriend Chris (Steve Oram), also includes murdering the odd litterer and “smug, middle-class conformist”.

A BEAUTIFUL ROMANCE: Tina and Chris look lovingly into each others’ eyes before their next homicidal rampage laugh out loud moments.

Tina, though hardly a demanding role, is very amusing as a typical, thick underachiever and her chemistry with over ambitious Chris works well in inducing comical awkwardness.

The definite highlight, though, is the bitter mother whose short appearance as the quintessential third age British nutcase is hilarious.

Despite its very promising start, however, the film gradually runs dry on ideas, losing its focus and wit. While killing for laughs is hardly shocking in the black humour genre, when Tina decides to join in with the murders out of revulsion towards him is entirely unreasonable. The issue of mob mentality is raised and requires you to ask yourself which side you would have taken.

“

Mikkelson's face is full of restraint and whilst the plot focuses on what is heard and not seen, his acting revolves around what is seen and not heard."

Surprisingly it doesn’t take long to overcome the previous impression of Mikkelson as Bond villain Le Chiffre and his performance evokes sympathy, despite his rather macabre countenance. His face is full of restraint and whilst the plot focuses on what is heard and not seen, his acting very much revolves around what is seen and not heard.

The clout of this film lies in its subtle understatement. The lack of clarity in the characters’ emotions clashes with the very definite effects of them. Explicitness is not the aim but rather certain conclusions are hinted at and, despite the seemingly clearcut nature of the premise, it is difficult to assign blame even at the end of the film.

Instead, the film deals with the lasting stigma that a rumour can inevitably leave behind. Admittedly the ending does not satisfy many of the questions raised in the film, however, if speculative films are your thing then this is definitely worth a watch.������� Nat Bury

what can only be explained as obsessive empathy (unless you prefer her justification of reducing carbon emissions)

“

Watching Tina slowly losing it you can't help but experience a sneaking sickening feeling, like the unease that settles in after eating too much junk food."

rise of the guardians Directed by PETer RAmsey  he stunning new animation from T DreamWorks, Rise of the Guardians, tells the story of lonely Jack Frost

(Chris Pine) who wakes up one day in an icy lake and discovers his ability to manipulate the winds and ice. Jack is invisible to the rest of the world and, with no sense of purpose or memory of his past, spends his days being a nuisance and creating havoc wherever he goes.

“

The film is beautifully animated and has an imaginative take on the original characters; the Tooth Fairy is depicted as a hummingbird..."

Meanwhile, the Guardians of children worldwide: Santa Claus (Alec Baldwin), the Tooth Fairy (Isla Fisher), the Easter Bunny (Hugh Jackman) and the Sandman, are facing a crisis as Pitch the Bogeyman has started corrupting children’s dreams and replacing them with nightmares. Jack Frost is summoned to join the team of semisuperheroes to try and save the day.

The film is beautifully animated and has an imaginative take on the original characters: the Tooth Fairy is depicted as a hummingbird-esque being helped

the movie gets a little too messy.

Watching her slowly losing it you can’t help but experience a sneaking sickening feeling, like the unease that settles in after greedily eating too much junk food. “I need some structure!” comments Chris of Tina’s random murders and at this point so does the storyline.

It is therefore almost satisfying that Sightseers’ abrupt ending shows no sympathy for its characters, spitefully sealing their fate and probably restoring the chuckles amongst the audience.

Pavlos Maniatopoulos by a flock of mini fairies, the Easter Bunny is a boomerang wielding warrior rabbit with an Australian accent and the Sandman is a sleepy golden mute, whose sand more resembles fairy dust than actual sand.

Most charismatic of all is North, the intimidating Russian Father Christmas, who has the words ‘Naughty’ and ‘Nice’ tattooed on each forearm. These updated versions of the characters we know well give the film an extra edge as we learn more about the characters and see their worlds in a new light.

The voices are well chosen with the exception of Pitch, the infamous Bogeyman and ‘bad guy’ who is voiced

by Jude Law. Pitch fulfils the stereotype of bad guys in American movies always being British. Law’s English accent sticks out like a sore thumb, but the main problem is that Pitch doesn’t sound scary and is not as convincingly evil as he should be.

The film’s underlying messages of childhood belief and good versus evil are unlikely to impact on anyone over the age of 12 and when read into they can ruin the film’s magic. Let us not forget, however, that this is a children’s film. Beautiful and full of magic with original characters and fantasy action, Rise of the Guardians makes a good addition to the collection of animations from DreamWorks.

Mary Mcguire

All films reviewed at Cineworld

of this time of year that they’ll happily empty their pockets to watch any sort of drivel that’ll help them feel festive.

Does Christmas have a unified meaning? It certainly seems to in the endless cycle of family centred entertainment that we see in the cinema at this time of year. Films rarely stray from this tried and tested formula of cheesy songs, cracker-worthy jokes and predictably happy endings – what Christmas is all about after all!

Some do, however, make an attempt at capturing their own unique take on Christmas.

The first example of this is Un conte de Noel brought to us by Arnaud Desplechin. It retains some of the goo that movie-goers wish for, but presents it in an altogether more refined manner. The matriarch of the Vuillard family becomes in need of a bone marrow transplant which forces the whole family to come together just in time for Christmas. The family members, as one might expect, all have some history and so naturally this reunion comes with a great deal of emotional baggage. Hilarious arguments and sentimental gatherings ensue in a manner far different from that of Will Ferrell in an elf costume.

Being dumped by your girlfriend is to Bill Forsyth a great scenario on which to base a festive classic. He brings this to us through Comfort and Joy which he wrote and directed. This Scottish comedy sees Bill Paterson play Alan Bird – a radio disc jockey who is left trying to recover after his girlfriend’s departure. After witnessing the attack of an ice cream van by angry competitors, he is led into the struggle between two Italian families over the ice cream market of Glasgow.

A film that is likely to reel in fans of The Godfather trilogy, Comfort and Joy sees ice cream and rejection combine to create the perfect formula for Christmas.

Melissa Leo brings us an Oscarnominated performance in Courtney Hunt’s Frozen River, which centres on the smuggling of illegal immigrants across the Canadian/ American border via the iced-over waterway of the title. Surprisingly, the smuggling is being carried out by a mother of two who has had to resort to such work after her husband left with all their savings in the family car a few days before Christmas. Perhaps not appropriate if you’re feeling emotionally vulnerable after burning Christmas lunch.

A Midnight Clear tells the story of an American Intelligence Squad who discover a German platoon. The men decide to spend Christmas together before they are required to fight the other. Strangely released in midApril, A Midnight Clear was unsurprisingly not a huge hit at the time, however, when viewed appropriate to its season, it is very moving.

So, if you wish to stray from the elves and candy canes take a look at the aforementioned.

James Wood

Tuesday December 4 2012

Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper studentnewspaper.org

tv@studentnewspaper.org

W

Star Rating

 Ant and Dec Morecombe and Wise Mitchell and WebbTrinny and SusannahCannon and Ball

jack on the box

hen David Bowie crouches, it should be to look into the swirling eyes of a sexy goblin or to pick up the glitter he dropped whilst making intergalactic love to an abstract idea, it shouldn’t be to introduce a tedious tale about snow.

And yet, for me, my first real sighting of Bowie was him doing the latter as he squatted in a messy attic to foreword the widely-considered ‘Christmas classic’ The Snowman.

Consequently I took the 'Thin White Duke' to be a 'Strange Pale Zonk'. Nudged and nurtured by my Dad into thinking that this chap was some sort of silver icon, I couldn’t grasp why he’d front such a seasonal sludge of animated gloom.

What follows his now infamous introduction, complete with Mr. Whippy quiff and uncomfortable scarf playing, is an apparently innocent tale of one boy and his snowman friend who travel across the snowy roads and frosty skies of the world being unruly bastards to any living thing they can: violent aviators of Christmas Eve, the Wright Brothers meets The Mitchell Brothers with added tinsel and terror.

The story eventually, in the time it would take to build a SnowEmpire, shrinks, ending with a festive (drunken) jig amongst several other vivacious (drunk) snowmen and a hug from a jolly (drunk) Father Christmas and then a sunrise and a death and before you know it. The sketched sadness stops and leaves you grasping at the nothingness of it all and looking around your living room for answers or the remote or a Toffee Penny or a rope.

That’s the unfortunate whirligig of The Snowman; it drags you and tricks you into believing that it might be an engulfing Christmas tale for the ages. It has a child in a dressing gown. It has hand holding.

Sometimes people smile. It is cold.

There is some falsetto. The snowman is rotund.

But in fact, it’s a loose sleet of forlorn sensibility and a dull dose of poisoned milk; sluggish sentiment pours down your throat before you’ve had the chance to say ‘But these are quite clearly contemptible characters!’

The boy is an obnoxious posh sneak and the snowman a clueless cross-dressing abductor whose buffoonish ways conspire to end a boring, admittedly burgeoning friendship, when he’s so stupidly sozzled after his SnowPissUp that he bumbles into the countryside’s heat beam instead of dropping off the little Etonian-in-waiting and heading back to continue the rave.

The message then clearly isn’t ‘Think about the Things That Really Matter This Christmas,’ it’s ‘Idiots Generally Act Idiotically, So Stay Away, They Will Only Hurt You’ – I’m just surprised David Bowie didn’t realise that.

Unless he was pissed as well.

Jack Murray

Better eight than never

Jacqueline Thompson takes a look at the long awaited return of Channel 4's cult hit Peep Show peep show Channel 4 Sunday, 10pm



W

hen Peep Show first aired in 2003 it was bold, imaginative and highly original. Its use of pointof-view shots (with the camera actually strapped to the actors’ heads), alongside the fact that the audience could listen in to the characters’ thoughts, was unlike anything that had been done before. The writers, Jesse Armstrong and Sam Bain, were relatively unknown, as were its stars, David Mitchell and Robert Webb. Everything felt new and exciting.

Now onto its eighth series, it’s business as usual as we continue to follow the mundane/ludicrous lives of repressed, middle-class Mark (Mitchell) and perennial slacker Jeremy (Webb).

When Mark asks his girlfriend Dobby to move in with him it means Jeremy must vacate the premises. Pathologically lazy Jeremy is, of course, dragging

rhod gilbert 's work experience BBC 2 Thursday, 10pm



T

hough it is often said that you should never work with children or animals on television, Rhod Gilbert has clearly never heard, or has chosen to ignore, this advice. For in the opening episode of Rhod Gilbert’s Work Experience, the Welsh funny man is tasked with the responsibility of educating a classroom of children for the day.

“

The first episode is particularly succesful in highlighting the passion and enthusiasm of the staff at the school" Now in its third series, Rhod has sampled a rather wide span of employment to date. Previously, he’s tried his hand at being a binman, a hairdresser and even a butler, so his CV must be looking pretty impressive these days.

In the unlikely event that the laughs begin to dry up in his successful stand up career, he’ll be well set for any number of new career paths… but he should probably avoid teaching.

This entertaining first episode follows Rhod as he attempts to get his head round the perplexing methods of modern teaching in a school that takes a rather holistic approach to education.

Though you’d think that standing

his heels, whilst Mark is terrified that Dobby will choose to move in with his rival, the sickly (and milking-it) Gerrard.

There are some wonderfully funny moments. Mark, riddled with anxieties prior to a job interview, rehearses his introduction to interviewer Robert Grayson so many times that when he eventually enters the room he holds out his hand and says ‘Hello, I’m Robert Grayson’; excruciating stuff, and classic Mark. Jeremy attempting to eat his way through an enormous portion of curry, having just secretly consumed another, is classic Jeremy.

Mark’s old boss, smooth-talking lothario Alan Johnson, including the phrase ‘the great little guy in this big old box here’ during a funeral speech is classic Johnson, and everything that crack-enthusiast-turned-bathroomsalesman Super Hans says is classic Super Hans. This character, played by Matt King, is a particularly brilliant comedic creation, especially when he’s as high as a kite; let’s hope he returns to the crack he finds so incredibly ‘moreish’ soon.

The trouble is, although it’s still ex-

up in front of a class and teaching a few lessons would be a piece of cake for a man whose actual profession involves standing up and talking in front of thousands, Gilbert hasn’t done his homework before going into the classroom.

“

He is initially baffled by a world of lesson plans and dress codes" He is initially baffled by a world of lesson plans and dress codes, and struggles to come to terms with the fact that the school day doesn’t finish for teachers as soon as three o’clock comes.

However, once he overcomes these challenges with the help of his teaching colleagues, he passes his brief apprenticeship with distinction, managing to transform himself from hopeless supply teacher to top state educator in just under half an hour of television.

Incredible.

This first episode is particularly successful in highlighting the passion and enthusiasm of the staff at the school, whilst also leaving you oddly nostalgic for the simpler days of papier-mâché and school assemblies.

Yet this job swap style of show has been done plenty of times before and Work Experience does feel a bit too similar to Channel Four’s Faking It, which is the benchmark in this genre.

But thanks to Gilbert’s affable charm and light humour, he ensures that it’s a perfectly watchable show and he should be awarded with an A for effort if nothing else.

Joe Patten

channel 4

28 TV

PEEP SHOW: Has it lost its edge? tremely well-written, it’s just not fresh anymore. Perhaps the reason why certain British comedies (from Fawlty Towers to The Office) have gained cult status is that they burned brightly but briefly.

Isn’t it always better to leave a party early, when people are asking you to stay and have another drink, rather than when the music’s stopped and the host is pointedly putting empty cups in a bin-liner?

attenborough: 60 years in the wild Available on iPlayer



D

avid Attenborough is something of a British institution, like tea or football. He is so well known that to be English and not familiar with him implies that you have spent your life huddled beneath a rock.

As a nature presenter and head of BBC 2, his 60 year career has produced some of the most watched programmes on television.

In this first instalment the presenter is naturally Attenborough himself and in his typically relaxed but factual manner he explains his reasons for becoming a documentary maker; the progression of his work and the constant search for newer, better shots.

“

As a nature presenter and head of BBC 2, his 60 year career has produced some of the most watched programmes on television" If you were hoping for a biographical portrayal of David himself, this is not the programme. Instead the programme focuses is on the development of cinematic technology over the last 60 years and how this resulted in the consistently iconic footage he is known

Ratings suggest that people are happy to keep the party going, but speaking as a huge fan of the show I’m not so sure. The recently-aired second series of the excellent Fresh Meat, also penned by Armstrong and Bain, has been a well-deserved hit and feels as exciting as Peep Show once did.

Might it be time for the older show to grab its coat and leave while the music’s still playing? It’s been one hell of a party. for.

“

David Attenborough is something of a British institution, like tea or football" David’s reflections on the highlights and close shaves of his career are illustrated with some of his favourite and most impressive footage. This is of course accompanied by his genuine, almost childishly keen smile and even a few quirky, grandad-style anecdotes are thrown in for good measure.

Underpinned by David’s narrative, many of the famous scenes and discoveries are included and the techniques and technology behind them explained.

Any long term fans will be provided with long awaited answers to the much wondered question: “How the hell did they manage to film that?”

There is also some genuinely amusing footage of a toilet for shrews and a younger, very Cambridge looking Attenborough rocking a quiff.

The whole documentary does live up to expectation but one scene of an aquatic feeding frenzy really stands out and will leave you in awe of the cameraman’s courage.

The combination of groundbreaking cinematography and Attenborough's fruity, dulcet narrative on the complexities of life is a familiar pleasure for most - with the added bonus that you come out at the end of it feeling like you've learnt something.

Nat Bury

Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper

tv@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

TV 29

Class of 2012

christmas tv

As this year draws to a close, the TV Section takes a look at the best moving pictures from it

Olympics and Paralympics

guardian

Breaking Bad

C

BBC

o summarise a series of Breaking Bad is to undo Breaking Bad itself: it can only serve to stunt the engulfing class and moody brilliance that the show exudes. It’s the loony outsider and the frantic underdog and the most explosive and exciting moment in contemporary television since five yellow characters first sat on a sofa several decades ago.

Bursting with the same spray of malice and fun and wild macabre that all the best television shows do, Breaking Bad, the story of a terminally ill chemistry teacher, his stoner accomplice and their overtaking of the drug underworld, is an era defining piece of modern entertainment and a chilling look into the shadows of society – soon to end, but never to be forgotten.

Jack Murray

In the Best Possible Taste

O

ne documentary highlight this year came not from one of the masters of the genre, but rather from Turner Prize winning sculptor and Britain’s favourite transvestite Grayson Perry. This surprisingly brilliant series was inspired by his own journey across class barriers and fascination with taste. Visiting various paid-up members of the working class Sunderland, the upper class in the Cotswolds and the middle class in the now-infamous Tunbridge Wells, Perry makes fascinating discoveries about our culture whilst informing his tapestry project depicting class progression. The series gained so many plaudits that Perry has been signed by Channel 4 to produce further programmes, and the resultant tapestries are touring Britain’s galleries throughout 2013.

Lindsey Crawford

BBC Baby cow

I

Moone Boy

hris O’Dowd left his (somewhat bizarre) success in Hollywood behind temporarily this year to star in his self-penned Irish comedy Moone Boy. Acting as the guardian angel (or imaginary friend) of Martin, the two set off on adventures around their village. Its parochial, DIY, charming style made stars out of alter boys, fools out of egomaniacal keyboardists and heroes out of boys with vivid imaginations. Its lead, played by David Rawle, balanced a middle-aged restlessness with schoolboy problems, resulting in truly original comedy. In a year of lackluster family sitcoms (Hebburn and In with the Flynns spring sadly to mind), this innocently odd and brilliant series certainly stood out.

Hannah Clapham-Clark

C

Twenty Twelve

t’s fitting that one of the best shows of 2012 is Twenty Twelve. The second series of the BBC’s comedy mockumentary follows the bungling deliverance team responsible for the implementation of the Olympic Games as they attempt to tackle a whole multitude of problems which threaten to derail the greatest show on earth. Boasting a cast that includes Hugh Bonneville, Olivia Coleman and Vincent Franklin, the sharply written satire was well received both critically and publicly, thanks to being consistently funny and often unnervingly accurate to events in real life.

Joe Patten

The Hollow Crown

he BBC went Shakespeare-daft earlier this year, devoting a whole season to the Bard and his creations. The highpoint of this was The Hollow Crown, the collected adaptations of Richard II, Henry IV and Henry V. The plots are juicy, the costumes and set-designs sumptuous, and the often tricky language is brought to life by a world-class ensemble. With star turns from Ben Whishaw, Tom Hiddleston and Jeremy Irons, supported by the likes of Patrick Stewart and Julie Walters, special mention must be given to Simon Russell-Beales’s gloriously debauched Falstaff.

In turns uproariously funny and heart-wrenchingly moving, his is a gem of a performance; the jewel in The Hollow Crown, if you will.

Jacqueline Thompson

BBC

T

T

The Soaps

wo sides of the same coin, EastEnders and Coronation Street have once again stood up to the task of mirroring the misery and craziness of modern British life this year. EastEnders has fizzed and popped with icons returning, cousins eloping and one extraordinarily long affair, whilst also providing a rare slice of genuine warmth as Billy ‘eternally moping’ Mitchell became a torchbearer for the London Olympics. Coronation Street, on the other hand, has been more sullen than usual and rides into the Christmas period with domestic violence, a surrogate mother and an alcoholic Romeo all conspiring to create a typically festive crescendo of tears, turkey and probably, if we’re lucky, coldblooded murder. I can’t wait.

Jack Murray

T

BBC JACK BARNES

n these freezing temperatures and dark nights, it might seem like a distant memory to think back to the summer and remember how we became obsessed with the Olympics and Paralympics. From dancing horses to new-found heroes, our screens were ruled by 3,000 hours of coverage depicting glorious victory after victory. Every ounce of cynicism building up was deemed ridiculous the moment old Queenie jumped out of a plane. It went above and beyond any expectations, gluing us to our screens as we cheered for Ennis and Wiggins to do us proud. And that they did. As a country we united in our love of sport, community, David Bowie, Games Makers, Seb Coe, Danny Boyle, and most importantly, Claire Balding; and for that we are all grateful.

Hannah Clapham-Clark

BBC

I

reuters

S

CHANNEL 4

Homeland

howtime’s hit psychological drama returned in fine form this year, picking up the story of soldier-turned-terrorist Sergeant Brody (Damian Lewis) and his CIA pursuer Carrie Matheson (Claire Danes) where it left off. While discerning watchers of season one could have guessed that subsequent episodes would reinstate Carrie in the CIA, uncover Brody’s secret identity, and delve further into the romantic tension between the two characters, it hasn’t dampened the suspense of season two in the slightest. The episodes which have aired so far have explored all the above storylines in nail-bitingly tense fashion. Long may Homeland addicts revel in their addiction.

Michael Hannan

BBC

I

can usually call it a successful Christmas if, by six o’clock, I am slumped in a turkey haze, picking at a Chocolate Orange, gawking over a new gadget and, finally, weeping merrily over Planes, Train and Automobiles. But apart from classic 90s festive fare, the telly isn’t usually half bad either.

I’m not a Queen’s Speech kind of lady. I want my festive telly to be full of arguments in the launderette and punch ups in The Rovers, old favourites returning and enough sparkly new period dramas to make Mr Darcy look like a washed up Peter Andre. Luckily, it appears the people over in telly land think the same thing as this year’s line-up is filled with tear jerkers, emotional roller coasters and many a reunion.

One of the most anticipated returns is Downton Abbey. It may have just left our screens a few weeks ago but it certainly left us hankering for more. Edith isn’t a sad, old spinster any more, everyone finally stopped hating Lord Grantham and people are finally starting to like Thomas.

As the house gets dolled up in wreaths and holly, we await to see whether the show can top last years love-fest-extravaganza.

Next up is the return of the affable and inoffensive Call the Midwife.

Many of us were swept away by its unadulterated nostalgia, heartwarming characters and general loveliness.

It also made a bonafide actress out of Miranda. Speaking of which, her sitcom begins once again this year, with a certain Mr Handsome himself, Gary Barlow, set to make a special appearance.

And she is not the only one to be making a return. From the glitz of a Strictly Come Dancing special to the faint da-da-da-dums of Doctor Who, as well as Mrs Brown’s Boys (but the less said about that, the better).

There’s no shortage of drama on the BBC either, with Victoria Wood set once again to pen a show, Loving Miss Hatto, that might rival her last Christmas masterpiece, Eric and Ernie.

There is also an adaptation of William Boyd’s Restless and The Girl, a striking look at the story of Alfred Hitchcock (played by the seemingly omnipresent Toby Jones) and Tippi Hedren (Sienna Miller).

And for the boring – I mean traditional! – amongst you, have a gander at Katherine Jenkins singing her cotton socks off on Songs of Praise this Christmas Eve. There is also a smattering of documentaries with David Attenborough exploring the African plains and outgoing Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams saying a goodbye to Canterbury.

So, perhaps this year it may be time to flick over from The Railway Children, pry your eyes away from The Muppet Christmas Carol and delve into the new and shiny, as the clever box in the corner has got it all sussed out.

Hannah Clapham-Clark

The Thick of It

oming to an elegant close after four series of swearing, satire and Scottish spite, Armando Ianucci’s The Thick of It ended with some of the finest moments in British comedy history. This series, more than any other, pinched with particular parity to the modern climate as an inquiry hung over our blundering politicians and civil servants and threatened to send them all into infinite regress. A wonderful plot device, the inquiry’s looming aura brought out the excruciating best in a once-in-alifetime ensemble cast, with characters such as Peter Capaldi’s iconoclastic Malcolm Tucker and Roger Allam’s exquisitely observed grump Peter Mannion guiding the show to an ending of typically caustic perfection.

Jack Murray

I

Danish Drama

t hasn’t gone unnoticed that Denmark has a penchant for brilliant drama, and this year has been no exception. First is The Bridge which follows the cultural collide of Swedish and Danish police as they discover a particularly puzzling dead body on the bridge connecting their two countries. Unusual characters and an off-kilter chemistry between the laid back, rulebending Martin and Saga, a highly dedicated detective, makes for a dark and truly compelling show. There may be no murders but Borgen is no less exciting. To pitch a foreign language show about Danish politics might not be the greatest sell, but when it is led by the first female Danish Prime Minister with a dense and complicated life – whether it be her struggling marriage or her sticky relationship with the press – it’s a no brainer.

Hannah Clapham-Clark

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

30 Sport

Sport fan? Write for us! sport@studentnewspaper.org

Injury Time's Student Sport Awards 2012

Piers Barber hands out this year's wholly incomprehensive and entirely insignificant annual Injury Time awards.

Heartbreaking Scandal of the Year: The painful exposure of Lance

daily mail

CHAMPS AND CHUMPS: (cw) Barton, Murray, Armstrong, Beckham Armstrong’s shockingly thorough attempt to cheat his sport through doping. Whilst his charity work must be commended, his meticulous attempt to undermine the very integrity of the sport that gave him such a significant public platform in the first place must never be forgiven.

The Winston Churchill Award for Minimum Care About the Home Front: The bosses of the Premier League, whose persistent fixation with exporting their gradually failing product has harmed the national team to the extent that England had to take Jordan Henderson to the Euros this summer.

Personality clash Chris Waugh previews the most anticipated Sports Personality of the Year Award in years.

The Board of The BBC Sports Personality of the Year (SPOTY) award for 2012 will be awarded in front of a 15,000 capacity crowd at the ExCel Arena in London on Sunday 16th December, bringing to an end an absolutely momentous year for British sport.

With the extended list dominated

by London Olympic and Paralympic heroes, SPOTY 2012 promises to be one of the best yet. Britain’s first ever Tour de France winner and Olympic Cycling Time Trial Gold medallist Bradley Wiggins is one of the early favourites to claim the coveted prize, although he will have to fight off competition from US Open champion and double Olympic tennis medallist Andy Murray, as well as double Olympic long distance champion Mo Farah.

Other nominees include previous winner Sir Chris Hoy, who extended his Olympic cycling Gold medal haul to six during the London Games; golfer Rory McIlroy, who bagged the US PGA title, topped both the European and US money-lists, and was an essential part of the victorious European Ryder Cup team; and Ben Ainslie, who this year became the most decorated sailor in Olympic history.

The second half of this illustrious list is just as astonishing. Jessica Ennis would be nailed on to win SPOTY in any other year, as would every other nominee on the shortlist, but she looks likely to miss out on the award despite being the face of the London Games and blowing away her opponents on her way to heptathlon Gold.

One of the most emotional Gold

The Kevin Pietersen Idiotic Genius Award: Kevin Pietersen. His colossal 186 against India last month proved beyond doubt that old cliché ‘disloyal Andrew Strauss-baiting buffoonery and IPL greed is temporary, class is permanent’.

The Edinburgh Trams Financial Efficiency Award (i): Hearts FC… The Edinburgh Trams Financial Efficiency Award (ii): Stewart Downing. Like a mouse half-caught by a cheap trap in a student flat, poor pretty-boy Fernando Torres needs to just be put out of his misery, discarded,

The Talking Heads’ Once in a Lifetime Award: We are living in truly historic times for men’s tennis. The record breaking Federer-Nadal rivalry may be fading into the 2000s, but in Andy Murray and Novak Djokovic we can look forward to many more momentous clashes on the court for years to come.

Team of the Year: The New Zealand rugby union team. Despite their loss to England last weekend, the All Blacks have been irresistible all year, somehow managing to improve on their World Cup winning performances during an immense twenty game unbeaten run.

In Dan Carter and Richie McCaw they can field genuine greats. Runners Up: South Africa’s test cricket team.

The Most Awesome Moment of the Year: David Beckham on that sweet speedboat during the Olympic Opening Ceremony. Phwoooar. Runner Up: Bradley Wiggins lounging on his throne.

Most disgusting moment of the year (i): Serbian fans’ abuse of Danny Rose in an England under-21 game in October proved racism is still a major issue in world sport.

Edinburgh Alumnus of the Year: Sir Chris Hoy. Humble, endlessly classy and bloody fast on two wheels. Now with six Olympic golds to his name, he is Britain’s most successful Olympian of all time.

Most disgusting moment of the year (ii): The British tabloid press’ horrendously xenophobic reaction to the Serbian fans’ abuse of Danny Rose.

Headlines like the Sun’s ‘Nation of hate – Serbs will never change’ justify and promote far deeper discrimination than the words of a select few idiots at a match ever could.

Most Awkward Event of the Year: The F11 Long Jump at the Paralympics. Although undoubtedly skilfully impressive, there’s something undeniably uncomfortable about watching blind athletes sprinting madly towards a small sandpit which they often fail to hit. Sore knees and uneasy glances all round.

The Pippa Middleton Award for Totally Undeserved Media Exposure: Joey ‘Joey7Barton’ Barton. An average and continually dangerous player, Barton’s relatively forgotten outburst on the last day of the 2011/12 season was the epitome of uncontrolled idiocy.

Joey deserves to be quickly forgotten/ unfollowed.

The Injury Time Outstanding Contribution to Cheap Punditry Award: England’s brave John Terry, who spent 2012 methodically undermining his otherwise deserved reputation as a very decent defender by engaging in an extensive variety of shady activities.

Honourable Mentions: Emile Heskey, all Match of the Day pundits.

Comeback of the Year: The ‘Miracle at Medinah’, when Europe secured a

medallists at the London Olympics was Katherine Grainger. Already a rowing legend, Grainger achieved her lifetime goal of becoming Olympic champion in the double sculls alongside Anna Watkins and reduced Steve Redgrave, as well as most of the British public, to tears as a result.

“

This year is by far the most competitive in the programme's 59-year history and it almost seems unfair to single out one athlete" Nicola Adams also charmed the country. Not only did she become the first ever Olympic female boxing champion, Adams also smiled her way into the hearts of the British public with her bubbly personality and her broad Yorkshire accent. If sheer personality alone won you this award then Adams would have as good a chance as any.

And finally this brings us to our astonishing Paralympians. So dominant

onthebox

The Titus Bramble Award for Bumbling Ineptitude: This summer Mark Hughes staggered into the transfer market like a drunk fresher stumbling in to Rush and proceeded to purchase any past-it footballer from the previous decade that he could lay his hands on.

Unsurprisingly, Robert Green, José Bosingwa et al. have failed to lift the R’s out of the relegation zone all season.

telegraph

Most Important Breakthrough of the Year: What really happened at Hillsborough was laid bare for all to see this year, and those involved have rightly been widely condemned. We can only hope that those families affected will now be able to finally bring some closure over an incident that has permanently tarnished the British game.

Ravel Morrison’s Twitter Advice of the Year: ‘Girls that are out every night no good hoes’ (16 Aug)

Most Irritating Song of the Year: Seven Nation Army (White Stripes Cover) by Any Group of Euro 2012 Fans. independent

The ‘Honestly We Never Once Doubted You’ Award: Andy Murray.

By all accounts a heroic year for the Scotsman, who picked up Olympic Gold and won his first Grand Slam title at the US Open in September to become the first Brit to win a major for 76 years. Honourable Mentions: Monty Panesar, Gary Neville, Transport For London.

historic comeback against the USA to win this year’s Ryder Cup in one of the finest moments of truly breathtaking sporting theatre.

then pushed firmly to the back of everybody’s mind. Downing, on the other hand, deserves less sympathy in the wake of his petty whining in the press and consistent failure to do literally anything particularly effectively.

washington post

The Most Pleasant Surprise of the Year Award: The London Olympic and Paralympic Games 2012. Instead of security breaches and transport congestion we got Mo Farah’s double gold, Usain Bolt, Jonnie Peacock, the Pistorious-Oliveira rivalry, the Brownlee brothers, the Weirwolf, and Jessica Ennis’s truly impressive ability to live up to the pre-Games hype. A vast variety of tough, challenging and frankly weird sports were on show in London this summer and, surprisingly, Britain turned out to be quite good at hosting and participating in them.

PRIZE: The SPOTY trophy at her sport of cycling is Sarah Storey that if she wasn’t British she would qualify for practically any other country in the world for the Olympics, never mind the Paralympics, and that was demonstrated by her four Gold medals at London 2012. Ellie Simmonds also continued her love affair with the British public in 2012, delivering another two Golds and lighting up every single media centre in which she was interviewed. Last but not least is the ‘Weirwolf ’ himself, David Weir, who powered his way to four Gold medals during the Paralympics, in distances as diverse as the 800m and the marathon.

Every single one of these athletes deserves recognition, but only one can be crowned Sports Personality of the Year 2012. The British public will decide in a special edition of the BBC’s flagship sports programme, during which one of this astonishing bunch will walk away with the camera-trophy.

However, in what has been arguably the most memorable year in British sporting history, it seems almost trivial to attempt to distinguish how great an achievement each individual athlete’s accomplishments have been compared to their fellow nominees. Some years the SPOTY shortlist is extremely weak and the British public struggle to choose a winner, but this year is by far the most competitive in the programme’s 59year history and it almost seems unfair to single any one athlete out.

Whoever is voted as SPOTY 2012 will thoroughly deserve the accolade, but so will the 11 who are unsuccessful and many other sportspeople who have not even been shortlisted for the award.

Let us celebrate this remarkable year while we can, because it is going to be a long, long time before the likes of it will be seen again.

Sport fan? Write for us! sport@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday December 4 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Sport 31 �

Robinson's reign leaves mixed legacy Post match press conferences were never particularly pleasant places to be when Scotland lost under Andy Robinson.

The frustration and anger of the coach was all too obvious following a defeat, meaning that after another series loss and a disappointing Six Nations, it was unsurprising that Robinson decided to hand in his resignation. It seems likely that an interim appointment of either Scott Johnson or Sean Lineen will be appointed to see Scotland through the upcoming Six Nations campaign whilst the SRU seeks a permanent replacement.

The results of Robinson’s tenure are mixed. Memorable home victories over South Africa and Australia, along with a successful tour to Argentina and this summer’s trio of victories over Australia, Fiji and Soma helped Robinson to build the best record against southern hemisphere sides of any home nation.

The problem was that these high points were lost in amongst consistently mediocre performances of the type that caused Robinson’s resignation. Scotland experienced continued Six Nations woe despite a promising start in 2009 as well as a disappointing World Cup performance in 2011. History has repeated itself as Robinson leaves Scotland in the same position that he inherited it in when he took over, namely, with

jalen vasquez

Alan Ross explores the next steps for Scottish Rugby and finds cause for cautious optimism

the lowly ranking that hampered the nation’s chances in 2011, where they had to face two higher ranked sides to emerge from the pool stages rather than just one.

The forceful forward play that was central to Robinson’s coaching philosophy was carried too far, to the extent that Scotland were often happy to pick and go; gaining ground by the centimetre rather than showing some invention in their play. The lack of intelligence in all round play was compounded by the absence of game management that saw

too much rugby played in Scottish territory, which is even more crucial when a side is on the back foot as Scotland often were. Attacking rugby has not been a strong point for years, and is another area that needs attention before Scotland can be truly competitive.

Despite the apparent doom and gloom, there are some positives for Scotland. The forward pack has shown that they can compete with the best sides in the world. The last thirty minutes against South Africa showed the fight in the Scottish side, albeit too late, as they fronted up to the most physical side in the world. Meanwhile, their second half performance against New Zealand drew praise from the World Cup winning visitors. There were encouraging signs from the pack, and the front row in particular, which was unfortunately depleted through injuries heading into the autumn fixtures.

Robinson introduced a variety of younger players into the side which will stand it in good stead for the next World Cup. Stuart Hogg, Tim Visser and Edinburgh University alumni Matt Scott will gain experience in the coming years and be ready to face the tournament afresh in 2015. The crucial position of fly-half is still yet to be decided conclusively with current incumbent Greig Laidlaw battling with Ruaridh Jackson, Duncan Weir and the newly capped

Tom Heathcote; who was thrown into the fray in the dying minutes of the match against Tonga.

“

High points were lost in amongst consistently mediocre performances of the type that caused Robinson's resignation."

The newly arrived ‘project players’ provide another glimmer of hope for Scottish Rugby. Once they qualify under citizenship rules, they will largely bolster the ranks of players that the management can choose from. New Zealand born flyer Sean Maitland is eligible to play thanks to a set of Scottish grandfathers, and will be a much needed threat in the back line, whilst the likes of WP Nel and Josh Strauss will shore up the forwards with their South African bred physicality.

The outlook is not all gloomy then, but there is a long road ahead with a lot of work that needs to be done if Scottish rugby is to improve and achieve its stated long term aim of lifting the World Cup trophy.

Wombles are better off together It has always been said that in sport, everyone loves an underdog. That was never the way of the Wimbledon FC, though. In the ‘Crazy Gang’ days of Wise, Fashanu and the like, Wimbledon were the team everyone just could not wait to see lose.

Out of this bitterness and resentment, something of a siege mentality developed under the management of ‘Volcanic’ Joe Kinnear, as the club consistently punched above its weight in the top flight and the cups. The derision they drew exceeded that of even Stoke FC in more modern times, and for many, their all standing ground at Plough Lane and combative (to put it mildly) style of play represented an era in English football everyone was really rather tired of.

Fast forward 20 years, however, and the reformed AFC Wimbledon are every neutral’s favourite team. The first ‘phoenix’ club, they are a living testament to the fact that the most important assets to a club are its fans, and most importantly, five promotions in nine seasons powerfully prove that fan ownership does not necessarily mean on-pitch mediocrity or a dampening of ambition. It seems there isnt a fan in the land who does not want an AFC Wimbledon victory over MK Dons in the FA Cup, and deep down, in an era when single ownership threatens the security of every fan’s club, there isnt a football follower in the land who does not wish their club was run a little like AFC Wimbledon.

It remains one of the darkest days in the recent history of English football.

After the Taylor report forced Wimbledon FC to leave its spiritual home at Plough Lane, where 20,000 plus attendances were the norm, the club began a ground share arrangement at Selhurst Park. When almost ten years later no new home looked even remotely on the cards, the Norweigan owners of the club, who had already begun significantly withdrawing investment, (in their defence, someone, somewhere had convinced them to spend £7.5 million of their children’s future on John Hartson) suggested a relocation of the club. Eventually, Peter Winkelman, desperate to bring football to Milton Keynes, entered the fold. Wimbledon, now in administration, was hauled fifty miles up the road to the National Hockey Stadium to begin what was, for everyone connected to football, a painful and gaulling transformation into MK Dons.

With the loss of the Wimbledon name went over a hundred years of footballing history, including one of the FA Cup’ s most memorable moments, a stunning 1 – 0 triumph over the great 1980s Liverpool side. Lawrie Sanchez scored in that game whilst Dave Beasant saved a penalty from John Aldridge in one of football's most remarkable results. In short, the demise of Wimbledon FC is the ultimate nightmare for any fan, and represents the vulnerability of every club in the vice of single ownership.

flickr: chalfont don

Phil Smith says fan ownership can prevent the collapse of another club like Wimbledon FC

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN: Former Wimbeldon home Plough Lane In stark contrast to this, MK Dons must be the luckiest club in the land, an example of the transformative effects the riches of modern owners can bring.

Blessed by a man whose footballing principles are loathed but business ones are lauded, Winkelman has not just transformed a club, but an entire town.

His investment in the club brought about not just a new stadium but a new retail park and even a music arena, playing host to world class acts such as the Foo Fighters. By getting predominantly youngsters attending the games and playing a bright, attractive brand of football, Winkelman has set in place the foundations for a club which can have a dramatic effect on its immediate community and raise the profile of a once much sniffed at part of the country. Few

in football could argue with that. The ‘franchise’ allegation is self defeating and simply ill-founded.

Nevertheless, MK Dons will always be tarred by the anguish and pain out of which it was forged. The time has surely come for it dump the ‘Dons’ from its name, and allow AFC Wimbledon to reclaim its lost history; even if that history is one in which the everyday fan bayed for its demise. They used to love being hated, anyway.

For the rest of us, this story highlights the importance of getting our clubs in our hands. Single ownership can bring unparalleled wealth and footballing mobility. By allowing it, however, we risk turning being a football fan into a lottery, and there simply are not enough winning tickets around.

Edinburgh secure impressive win against Strathclyde Women's Netball BUCS Scottish 1A Saturday 24th November Edinburgh 1st 66-39 Strathclyde 1st An impressive performance from goal-shooter Hannah McCaig helped Edinburgh to a dominant victory over Strathclyde last Saturday.

After a shaky start in which Strathclyde counter-attacked well and opened up a 5-10 lead, Edinburgh’s attacking game started to function, leading the side of a win in each quarter on their way to a 66-39 victory.

Captain Rachel Johnstone was pleased with the improvement shown by the team: “It was really close last time we played them, so we’re happy with the performance. Hannah’s shooting up front was really useful, and gave us the advantage in attack.”

The game started with the teams trading scores, but Edinburgh coughed up possession twice and allowed Strathclyde too much space in the attacking third, with the visitors opening up a lead of 5 early on in the first quarter.

Edinburgh’s defence soon started to press more however, and with their attackers largely marked out of the game, Strathclyde were forced to play too many passes to get close to the goal, and lost the ball.

Conversely, when Edinburgh won possession back, McCaig’s height advantage in the attacking third of the court gave them the ability to launch attacks from deep without risk of losing possession. A somewhat fortuitous rebound off the goalpoast gave Edinburgh a second shot at goal, and from 5-10 down, the home side rallied to lead 16-13 at the end of the quarter.

The second quarter carried on where the first left off. Edinburgh were able to rely on winning 50/50 balls in the attacking third, and this allowed them to counter-attack quickly when Strathclyde attacks broke down. The scoreline continued to favour Edinburgh, and they led 30-21 going into half-time.

Early in the second half, Strathclyde altered their defensive plan slightly.

Edinburgh lost possession when the visitors chose to mark McCaig with two defenders, and Strathclyde scored with the subsequent counter-attack.

It didn’t last however, as the new tactic allowed Edinburgh’s other attackers, Rachel Bills Brown, Hannah Lawless and Rachel Hayhurst more space themselves.

Whilst Strathclyde did keep the third quarter score itself to within one goal, Edinburgh were 10 clear by this point, leading 45-35 entering the final 15 minutes.

The fourth quarter proceeded just as the first and second had. Edinburgh pressed in defence and were able to easily secure possession in goal-scoring territory. The home side won the quarter 16-4 as they finished comfortable winners.

Thomas Halsey

Sport

Tuesday December 4 2012

studentnewspaper.org

And the winner is...

Piers Barber hands out the annual Injury Time awards

30

Brown handed valuable scholarship Strathclyde Park Scottish University Championships he won four races in single and double sculls as well as in a quad and an eight. Elsewhere, Brown was the first senior man to obtain gold for EUBC in the Men’s Lightweight Single at the BUCS Championships in Nottingham earlier this year.

As well as the many accomplishments he has achieved at university, Kieran also triumphed in a number of race events whilst still at school.

Such successes have all contributed to his well-earned nomination for the International Rower of the Year Award, alongside two Olympic and one Paralympic gold medallists (Katherine Grainger, Heather Stanning and David Smith).

Having met Katherine Grainger at the opening ceremony of the CSE rowing gym named in her honour, Brown described her as the perfect role model and a great public speaker who was nothing short of an inspiration to Kieran and all the other rowers at Edinburgh University.

Brown, bemused by the day’s events,

told The Student, “The day as a whole was fantastic, not an everyday occurrence for myself. Can’t say I’m familiar with meeting Olympic champions and members of the royal family!”

The Katherine Grainger Scholarship will provide Brown with a provisional £1,250 for every year that he continues his studies at Edinburgh whilst also persisting in his aspirations to succeed on the international rowing stage. He plans to use the scholarship to cover the costs of the upcoming GB trials and to finance his trip to Sydney, Australia if he is selected for the Youth Olympics in January.

Kieran strives to return to the Under 23s World Championships in the summer, and as a patriotic Glaswegian, wishes to secure a place for at least one Scotsman on Team GB and bring a medal home.

Putting Team GB aside, Kieran is also concentrating on keeping up with his commitments to the EUBC Senior Men’s squad, where in the New Year he will be facing numerous BUCS regattas and further trials.

eubc

Katherine Grainger’s much anticipated visit to Edinburgh a fortnight ago has left everyone starstruck.

For no one was this more true than for Kieran Brown, the well deserved recipient of the Katherine Grainger Scholarship.

Born and raised in Glasgow, Kieran Brown, 19, is enjoying his second year as part of the Edinburgh University Boat Club (EUBC) and has been a valuable member of the team from the moment he joined. His rowing career began five years ago in school when it was suggested to him by a friend, and the sport has been his top priority ever since.

Since then he has seized every opportunity presented to him and achieved many significant successes.

Kieran competed for Team GB in the Under-23 World Championships in Lithuania, and won gold at the Home International Regatta for Men’s Lightweight Double Sculls.

He has brought the gold home for EUBC in the Scottish Indoor Rowing Championships (in the Men’s Open Lightweight event), and at the

eubc

Marina Seergeva profiles rower Kieran Brown, who was awarded the Katherine Grainger Scholarship last month.

IN GOOD COMPANY: Grainger, Brown and HRH Princess Anne

High climber Holmes seeks success On the 1st December registration opened for the UAII Ice Climbing World Cup, which will take place from January to March in South Korea, Switzerland, Italy, Romania and Russia.

Here in Edinburgh, third year Geology and Physical Geography student Harry Holmes is preparing to compete in the Switzerland leg of the tour in Saas-Fee as part of the British team, which he says modestly “is a bit silly because I’m really not that good.”

Ice climbing is the even more difficult and dangerous cousin of rock climbing and becomes interesting because the fluctuating nature of ice means that the routes are often changing. Holmes has competed in climbing competitions before, coming second in the Scottish Tooling Series last year and second in the Northern Tooling Series this year (dry-tooling has all the technique and equipment of ice climbing without any of the ice), but never on such a international stage.

At the moment his preparation consists of climbing as much as possible, avoiding a proper training plan, “as I would get bored if it got too much of a

AMELIA SANDERS

Amelia Sanders interviews Harry Holmes, who is currently preparing for the UAII Ice Climbing World Cup next year

ICE AND SLOWLY: Holmes climbs

routine,” and finding someone to fund his entry into the competition.

Fortunately he managed to recently get sponsorship from Schmoolz, a company which makes dry tooling training aids, making it easier for him to compete. However he says that aside from big events he would not want to be sponsored for his everyday climbing because of the demands that sponsors make on achieving difficult climbs: “I’d rather not feel pressurised to climb hard things, but do it because I want to.”

For Holmes, climbing is not so much about the adrenaline thrill of facing death but rather about the technical side of making judgements on particular routes. He admits to enjoying the “geeky” side of winter climbing which is all about “how to put a piece of metal in rock”. This is apparent when he talks about the climbing gear that he has made or adapted. Instead of buying £300 custom-made fruit boots for ice climbing he has altered an old pair of climbing shoes by adding crampons.

Apparently these shoes give him a flexibility that traditional ice boots would not and have the advantage of only

costing him £80.

“

For Holmes, climbing is not so much about the adrenaline thrill of facing death but rather about the technical side of making judgements on particular routes."

However, this is also is a reminder of the very well-equipped and funded professionals that Holmes will be going up against. He’s aware that the competition is daunting, saying that sometimes the World Cup climbers come and compete in Scottish competitions where they “blitz everything”. Yet although the chances of him triumphing are slight, Holmes is determined to participate in an honourable way, saying that he’d rather help people and give them sug-

gestions on how to do a route than give them bad advice so he could do better.

He attributes this attitude partly to the sport, which he sees as being unique for the reason that, even at the highest level, competitors still give their rivals advice on how to improve.

Whilst Holmes has a huge desire to push himself as far as possible; such aspirations have sometimes backfired.

He recounts an incident when he first began climbing: “I was being a bit ambitious which is what I generally do, sort of like entering the World Cup.” He fell and landed head first on a rock, ending up in hospital and sustaining an injury that ultimately forced him to redo his first year.

Yet despite the dangers, Holmes does not foresee a future in which he won’t be climbing. His love of the sport is summed up in an account of his last climbing trip: “On Wednesday I was sat in a corrie in a complete white out and I was like ‘Why do I even enjoy this?’.

And then we started climbing and it completely blew away because it’s just the best thing ever. There’s nothing like winter climbing. It’s just amazing.”