ISSUE 64.08 “God kept the truths of life from the young as they were starting out or else they’d have no heart to start at all.” —Cormac McCarthy, All the Pretty Horses But attending this convention also helped me realize one other important thing—that we’re putting out a newspaper unlike any other LETTERS TO THE EDITOR in this country (and Canada, since they were there too). While laying out our issues MIKE “BEEF” next to stacks of other papers, PALLOTTA I got to see firsthand that all they’re doing on other campuses is traditional, dying ey folks, welcome to another journalism. The same old, drop in the issue of the Union Weekly. article, use no imagination, AP style, A lot’s been going down structured, no personality content. with the Union lately and I figured I’d So what I’m saying here is, you’ll let you in on some of it. A couple of never get that here. We won that award weeks back, myself and a staffer got for you guys. For Long Beach and for to go down to San Diego to attend the everyone here on campus to show that ACP (Associated Collegiate Press) Na- we’ve got a voice and that we can bump tional College Journalism Convention. elbows with MIT, Berkeley, and every Sure, we came away from the experi- other “legit” university out there. This ence with some gained knowledge, but campus has something they don’t, the more importantly we came away with Union Weekly (and a fucking pyramid). an award. Yes, your very own campus Not only have we been receiving newspaper (this one, not the other illustrious awards, but we’ve also been one) took 9th place in the Best of Show getting compliments from some older Awards. Our category was Four-year Unionites. Like this guy right here. Weekly, and I’ll admit, I felt a little bit Onto the mail: gypped at first. Until I realized that it was out of 140 colleges, we were beat Dear editors & writers: by MIT, and that not placing in the top 3 was going to allow us to keep our inPlease give yourselves a pat on die cred (so don’t worry, Andy). the back. Congratulations! As a for-
MAIL TO THE CHIEF
H
mer Union editor and ex-prez of the Calif. collegiate press (CIPA—California Intercollegiate Press Association), I was rolling back in my chair laughing hard at the last page of the March 2nd issue. That was after being very impressed by the look, the layout and the content of the rest of the newspaper. Nice Going! Great to see the Union alive and kicking. —Mark Hennon P.S. Whoever does your online stuff deserves a raise. Dear Mark, Thank you for the kind words. We work long hours and late nights and most of us don’t get paid (as you know), and it’s nice to have some of the older Unionites show their appreciation. We’d pat ourselves on the back, but I think we just did that for a few paragraphs already. Just do us a favor and keep checking back (www.lbunion.com everyone). The Grunion’s only going to get funnier. Ask Away! Need advice from a man named Beef? Any questions/comments? Well send all questions to editorinbeef@gmail.com!
OODLES OF DOODLES!
WHAT WE’VE BEEN DRAWING IN THE MARGINS THIS WEEK
MIKE PALLOTTA Editor-in-Chief KATHY MIRANDA Managing Editor JOE BRYANT Managing Editor
editorinbeef@gmail.com kathym.union@gmail.com joeb.union@gmail.com
MATT DUPREE matt.dupree@gmail.com Senior Editor RACHEL RUFRANO rachel.union@gmail.com Opinions Editor JAMES KISLINGBURY jamesk.union@gmail.com News Director CAITLIN CUTT caitlincutt.union@gmail.com Literature Editor & PR JOE BRYANT joeb.union@gmail.com Entertainment Editor SEAN BOULGER seanb.union@gmail.com Music Editor & PR KATIE REINMAN reinman.union@gmail.com Creative Arts Editor MICHAEL VEREMANS scarf.union@gmail.com Creative Writing Editor VICTOR CAMBA victorpc.union@gmail.com Comics Editor KATHY MIRANDA kathym.union@gmail.com Culture Editor SOPHISTICATED BEAR bear.grun@gmail.com Grunion Editor CLAY COOPER, STEVEN CAREY Graphic Designers CHRIS LEE photos4union@gmail.com Photo Editor JOE BRYANT On-Campus Distribution CLAY COOPER clay.union@gmail.com Internet Caregiver ALLAN STEINER allan.union@gmail.com Advertising Executive VINCENT GIRIMONTE, ERIN HICKEY, ALAN PASSMAN, JASON OPPLIGER, CHRISTINE HODINH, JESSE BLAKE, DOMINIC MCDONALD, HILLARY CANTU, RUSSELL CONROY, ANDREW LEE, KEN CHO, TYLER DINLEY, ANDY KNEIS, MICHAEL MERMELSTEIN, SIMONE HARRISON, JOE HAUSER, TESSA NEVAREZ, JOHN YANG, KEVIN O’BRIEN, TRAVIS OTT-CONN, CHRIS FABELA, JOE HAMMOND, JESSICA WILLIAMS, MONA KOZLOWSKI, STEVE WORDEN, TYLER MALONE, JAYCE YAMAGISHI, ENRIQUE AVALOS, DEVIN FRAZEE, MICHAEL JOHNSON Contributors Disclaimer and Publication Information The Union Weekly is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of the writer, and are not necessarily the opinions of the Union Weekly, the ASI, or of CSULB. All students are welcome and encouraged to be a part of the Union Weekly staff.
Cover Photo
JAMES KISLINGBURY
JOE BRYANT
RACHEL RUFRANO
KATHY MIRANDA
All letters to the editor will be considered for publication. However, CSULB students will have precedence. All outside submissions are due by Thursday, 5 PM to be considered for publishing the following week and become property of the Union Weekly. Please include name, major, class standing, and phone number for all submissions. They are subject to editing and will not be returned. Letters will be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. The Union Weekly will publish anonymous letters, articles, editorials and illustrations, but they must have your name and information attached for our records. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 500 words. The Union Weekly assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for claims of its advertisers. Grievance procedures are available in the Associated Students business office.
MIKE PALLOTTA UNION WEEKLY
16 MARCH 2009
JAMES KISLINGBURY
Questions? Comments? MAIL : 1212 Bellflower Blvd. Suite 239, Long Beach, CA 90815 PHONE : 562.985.4867 FAX : 562.985.8161 E-MAIL : lbunion.info@gmail.com WEB : lbunion.com
NEWS THE DRUG WAR AND YOU!
GUNS DON’T KILL PEOPLE, VIOLENT DRUG CARTELS KILL PEOPLE JOE HAUSER
F
orbes recently released their new “Billionaire’s List” and if you scroll down far enough you’ll get to #701, Joaquin Guzman Loera, a Mexican citizen and self-made businessman. Also, it just so happens that “El Chapo,” as he’s known to his friends, is one of the biggest cocaine dealers on the continent, and controls up to a third of the drug market in the United States. And, again: He’s a goddamn billionaire. This money didn’t come easy, though. Competition in the drug trade is fierce, and with drug-related killings on the rise, there is no indication that market pressures will ease up any time soon. There has been an estimated 6,000 deaths since the beginning of 2008. Just two months ago, a man named Santiago Meza Lopez was arrested for claiming that he worked for a cartel disposing around 300 bodies by dissolving them in acid, earning him the nickname the “Stewmaker.” Violence isn’t isolated to the heart of Mexico, either. Cities on the Texas/Mexico border have been affected by the recent escalation in the drug war. Ciudad Juarez, just across the river from El Paso, has been one of the hardest hit. Its chief of police was forced to resign after threats were made that if he did not step down, a policeman would be killed in 48 hours. Six months ago,
the Ascención police department received a package containing four human heads. Last Wednesday, a riot erupted at a prison, the population of which was primarily convicted drug traffickers. When the smoke cleared and the riot ended, 20 were dead and another 15 were wounded. There has been an increase in military presence with over 7,000 soldiers and federal police. However, with Mexico and the world’s economy being in the state it is, many soldiers aren’t finding their wages sufficient and have left to join the opposition. In the past six years, it has been estimated that 150,000 soldiers have deserted throughout the whole nation. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) officials have responded to these events saying that it is time for them to develop a comprehensive plan to deal with not only the drug traffic but also Mexico’s economy. Recently Seattle Police Chief R. Gil Kerlikowske was appointed by the Obama administration as the new drug czar, replacing John Waters. The chief has 36 years of law enforcement experience and currently heads the Major Cities Chief ’s Association. He has also been credited with lowering youth crime and violence and has a number of successful drug policies under his belt. With his new job for the DHS he’ll
STATE OF THE BEACH
YOUR WEEKLY CAMPUS NEWS IN BRIEF Did you notice the missing phone booths in the USU? It seem payphones and phonebooths have gone the way of the dinosaur, disco and Dillinger—forever gone, forever cool.
A Mexican soldier inspects the results of an assassination attempt. So, where are you planning to go for your Spring Break? be tasked with projecting his experience as a police chief onto the national level. His new responsibilities will include creating alternative means of rehabilitation, forming more efficient youth awareness, as well as simply preventing drug use in the first place. Hopefully, Kerlikowske will also help crack down on the river of firearms flowing from the U.S. side of the border and into the hands of the cartels. This is an important step for America to make, not only to help its own drug issues but also to weaken the cartels in Mexico. If Kerlikowske is able to enact
effective programs that lower the demand for cocaine and marijuana, the cartels’ businesses would suffer. Coupled with the federal presence, the government could gain an edge to exterminate, or at least mitigate, their influence on society. President Obama has said he is considering deploying the National Guard to some of the affected border cities but is hesitant for obvious reasons. He plans to have a definitive strategy up and running within the next few months, but when this chapter of the war on drugs will end remains to be seen.
JOHN YANG
an ASI contest to design the next parking permit. Deadline is Friday the 20th, which gives you exactly one business week. Details at http://csulb.edu/asi website.
FYI: when Program Council busts their ass to get cool events on campus and you never ever show up ever for anything ever, it’s easy for them to not care and get lazy with your ASI funds.
There have been many a noble blogger who tried to accurately cover what was going on around campus, etc. And, oh how they fail. The latest one comes from Jenna Skarzenski at csulbsu.blogspot.com. Good luck blogger. Good luck.
The Nugget has been trying to host some weekly, semi-weekly, sort of weekly events at night, you know, when no one is here.
The Bob Cole Conservatory is having a free concert with the Eclipse Sting Quartet on March 18th at 8:00 pm.
Poet’s Lounge this week, Thursday at 8pm—And if you do go, could you please bring a camera and throw the video up on YouTube so that all the chumps who don’t go can see what they’re missing? Thanks.
To Coke Zero Staff: Get off me. I do not want one, let alone two or three delicious smooth refreshing Coke Zeros. I do not want Coke Zero in a box, I do not want Coke Zero with a fox.
If you haven’t already heard, there is
The Cuban Film Festival continues
with the screening of Suite Habana at LH 150 on Thursday March 19th. Admission is free (like most screenings on campus).
can get alternative transportation stipends and rewards! Visit the parking office by the CBA building for more info.
Monday is the only day you can visit the University Art Museum because the rest of the week is closed for a private event—or so they say on their website, at http://csulb.edu/org/uam.
So, if you didn’t hear, the Beach Legacy Referendum failed to pass (quite soundly too), preventing a $92 per semester increase in student fees that would go to ASI and IRA (to be fair, who doesn’t hate Irish Republican Army?). If there’s a lesson to be learned here it’s that if you whine long and hard enough about something, you can talk your fellow students out of funding something worthwhile. So, in that way, the Daily Forty-Niner hasn’t been more relevant than the time they ran those inserts of aborted fetuses. We spoke with CSULB’s debonair Vice President Doug Robinson, who told us that while both sides put in a valiant effort, not everyone is going to be happy with results. What we all can be happy about though is of the 6,500 votes cast online only 4 complaints were received—all deemed “frivolous.”
It’s really easy to dog on KBeach, but you should give them the ol’ college try. They have a show called “Awesomer” (yeah, I’m cringing at that name too) on Wednesday afternoons from 1 to 3pm. Or instead of complaining, you can volunteer for stuff on their website or email their head honcho at trapper@kbeach.org. Did you know you can enter a raffle every month for free Beach Bucks if you use alternative transportation to get to school? Better yet, if you work for the school you
UNION WEEKLY
16 MARCH 2009
OPINIONS
MATT DUPREE
No tattoo for the jew writer of the u. ALAN PASSMAN
G
Illustration MONA KOZLOWSKI
rowing up, my folks were pretty open when it came to their likes and their distaste for things. Some of which was grounded in common sense, like not wanting me to get into hard drugs, while other things were a bit more unfounded, like when I started to get facial hair and my mother forbade me from growing mutton chops, because it reminded her of a sleazy guy she knew in college. They were and still are pretty reasonable folks. One thing my parents were vehemently against was getting tattoos. It wasn’t so much just the taboo in Jewish culture that they levered against it, but more so that they just thought tacky lowlifes got them and that was that. Then later I would hear the famous adage of “You can’t be buried in a Jewish cemetery if you have a tattoo.” The more I’ve researched, the more I have found that that is an urban/ethnic legend. I never heard my rabbi growing up say anything related to actual Talmudic law and body art. When piercing gained popularity in my early teens, it was seen as being alright due to the temporary nature, but tattoos are permanent. Oy! Leviticus 19:28 states, “You shall not make gashes in your flesh for the dead nor incise any marks on yourself...” This seems more of an invocation to not inflict injury on oneself, which makes a whole lot of sense. God doesn’t want you cutting yourself, fake emo kid. Anyway, it has been interpreted through the years to mean that you shouldn’t get tattoos out of tribute for loved ones who have passed and etc. Historically, the distaste for markings on the skin biblically had to deal more with Pagan ritual scarification and the branding that slaves of monarchs like the Pharaohs would forcefully place on their subjects. This of course echoes what the Nazis did by assigning inked serial numbers like you would for livestock to their victims in the death camps. Tattooing as a culture has evolved vastly since the time of Moses and it would seem that UNION WEEKLY
16 MARCH 2009
secular mores have as well. Does that mean I am heading over to a reputable artist and getting one if it is okay with the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob? Actually no, but I do have some solid reasons as to why not. Mostly, it’s a fad and so many have terrible excuses for “artistic expression” on them that it makes me less likely to want to be one of the herd. When moms, dads and grandparents have tatts then it isn’t cool or seditious anymore. That is the other dilemma; we all get old unless we pull a James Dean. Think of how gross Travis Barker is going to look at 60. The other factor is that I don’t trust myself enough to pick something that I won’t hate to have on me years later. There is one primary example that I always remind myself of whenever I even think about selling out to the dominant culture. Before it was even called Nü Metal, I was an angsty teen that had a huge devotion to a band that is now pretty reviled by most people. That band was Korn and I was so into them that I wanted to get their logo on me. I wanted one just like lead singer Jonathan Davis has, which is in the tramp stamp region of the small of the back. When I fell out of love with that band around their 5th record in 2003 as a 21-year-old, I would have been very nonplused by a choice that I was thinking of making in the year 2000 at age 18. Band-related iconography is basically one of the only things I ever truly contemplated. There was a brief period where I flirted with the idea of getting Chun Li from Street Fighter on one of my arms, but that was rationalized against rather fast. The fact that people always get Christian tattoos has always made me want to get a Star of David on me in my more alienated moments. I know a lot of Jews with tattoos at this point and how they justify getting them is by doing just that, but I don’t need anything on me to improve my self-image at the end of the day. Tattooed women are hot though and I’m all for that. I would prefer the latter on me instead.
If you weren’t aware, I did the feature article about getting a tattoo this week. I was also the pale, flabby canvas whose even paler nipple is showing on the cover. It was everything that writing a feature ought to be: enlightening, challenging, and permanently staining. I still haven’t called my parents to tell them, but I can already imagine their reaction (like my reaction to the Watchmen movie, unconditional love tinged with unavoidable disappointment). Of course, my friends’ reactions have all been very similar. It’s a sort of respectful reassessment that involves a slow nod and a squint with a partial chance of pursed grin. And it inevitably comes with a single, unvarying question: did it hurt? I was expecting it to hurt. When I turned eighteen I got a small tattoo on my shoulder as my own celebration of, well, being able to get a tattoo. But as I lay on the table, the needle humming in the tattoo gun, I reminded myself aloud that the anticipation of pain was so much worse than the pain was going to be. As though I were back to 5 years old standing at the entrance to Splash Mountain, freaking out and refusing to ride it. Or back to 21 years old standing at the entrance to Knott’s Scary Farm, refusing to enter without a Valium. Sometimes the anxiety is worse than the event could ever hope to be. But a tattoo is not one of those events. After my axiomatic quip about anticipation of pain and all that bullshit, Mikey the tattoo artist laughed. “Oh, this is going to be much worse.” He was spectacularly right. It hurt like eight hurts trapped in a six-hurt sack (which is, like, a whole lot). In fact, as I write this, it still hurts. There was a nice little zen moment in the middle where my brain had gotten so use to the pain that I could actually think about things other than OWW, IT HURTS. Then when it was over there was a soaring lift of endorphins that lasted about an hour, but other than that it’s been a harsh lesson in what it means to cringe. And this is coming from a man who’s had a testicular torsion (Google it at your own peril). I found myself thinking, “Would it look okay only half-done?” and “I wonder if I can cry without anyone noticing.” It got so bad that I began reflexively smiling and mouthing the words to Phil Collins’ songs (“Well I REMEMBER!”) as a desperate attempt at reverse psychology. I began to conspire against my ribcage, believing that its violent removal would ultimately make the process easier. I tried to think of this as a temporary pain before a permanent pleasure, but it’s hard to be that rational when your nerve endings are screaming. So, you know, to answer your question: Yeah, it hurt.
OPINIONS
REBELLION (LIES)
and the path to adulthood
R
KEVIN O’BRIEN
ecently my friend Jackson got a tattoo, a secret tattoo. Jackson was on a trip abroad, away from his parents, and took the opportunity to express himself through ink. He knew that his parents would object, yet he took hold of the moment, knowing that they would have stopped him if he tried to have the procedure done stateside. In American culture, tattoos are most readily associated with rebellion. When one brings up the subject of tattoos, the mind tends to call up images of extremes. Biker gangs adorned with full sleeves of snakes and skulls often draped over skimpily clad women. Other minds will wander to the Lizard man and his apparent addiction to tattoos, as he covers his entire body with them in an attempt to make himself appear reptilian. The pain associated with the procedure is often imagined, extreme and unthinkable, a needle peircing sensitive flesh, thousands of times over. However, the next part of Jackson’s story turns this idea of tattoos being primarily an act of rebellion on its ear. After returning home, he hid the tattoo for some time. He did not wish to upset his parents, or cause them grief as a outright act of rebellion would. He avoided the nasty stereotype of a teen filled with angst wanting only to make his parent’s lives a little more unlivable. Instead, when he felt the time was right, he took each separately aside and explained to them
what he had done and why. Because of his mature actions they took it well, they understood that he had a need for self-expression and not as way to act out against them. This signals the future way tattoos and tattoo culture will be viewed in the eyes of Americans. Tattoos are maturing. While they still can and are readily associated with counterculture, it seems they are slowly growing out of it. Tattoos are coming into their own, becoming what they should be in the public eye—another form of art and self expression, not a rebellious act akin to a teenage middle life crisis. The use of tattoos in other much older cultures such as the ancient Polynesians, has always been for traditional, artistic, and spiritual purposes. The Polynesians would represent their own spiritual force through the tattoos on their bodies and face. Tattoos never had any association with rebellion because it was a sign that you accepted yourself and your place within your culture. That idea is a truer sense of what tattoos should be. The idea of rebellion in association with tattoos only serves to cheapen what they truly are. Jackson, through his actions and sound moral and mental fiber, managed to navigate around the pitfalls of modern American tattoo culture. He was able to give weight, value and real significance to his act as well as his thoughts and, there-
fore, himself, in his parents eyes and in reality. This propels what he had done to the level of true art, and propels himself from teen to adult. The tattoo could have easily been a way of showing his parents that he was still a child, impulsive and wanton. Yet he was able to make an adult decision using sound reasoning so that no one could doubt his decision’s maturity.
I’M NOT REALLY SURE WHAT COUNTER-CULTURE MEANS through the internet and then flip that off through your pants for a quick diss on a guy you don’t like. Okay let’s say you got some guy that’s always all up in your face asking you questions about numbers or something. There’s no way you can flip him off right? WRONG. All you have to do is wait until the answer to one of the questions is three. When this time comes you can wink at a friend or maybe at a camera if someone is filming it (like a math movie or something) because this guy is going to get burned. Hold up your first three fingers and then think to yourself “read in-between the lines.” Congratulation you just flipped off some math guy. You could try becoming really good friends with a blind guy. Once you’ve gained his trust then you can have him flip off somebody that has wronged you. I’m not sure why you would do this I still need to think about this one. This one will definitely work you just need some
preparation time. All you have to do is become a famous actor. Then just make some movies or whatever until you get a script where your character flips someone off. You get to not only flip off a jerk co-star but then you get to flip your middle finger at every jerk in a theater that sees your movie. CAUTION! Tell anyone you know that doesn’t suck to not see the movie though to save them from getting flipped. One last one: you can write a secret message on the inside of your middle finger (any message you want! Get creative okay.) Either write a really cool message or have an annoying friend say “oh my goodness what an outstanding message written on your finger [your name here]. I would recommend everyone to go look at it immediately.” Everyone in town will be begging you to flip them off so they can see your message and to get your friend to shut up. What a world that will be. You can do it. Good luck y’all.
Are you competitive, yet team oriented? Enjoy selling and being rewarded for your efforts? If this is you, then you are just the person we are looking for to join our sales team as a Credit Manager. As a Credit Manager, you will play a key role within a small close-knit team, utilizing referrals and company provided sales leads to sell a variety of financial services products. The Credit Manager works with customers on the phone and in person throughout the credit application and approval process. Compensation package includes a base salary, plus an incentive plan based on sales volume. Required qualifications 0-1 year sales experi Are you competitive, yet team oriented? Enjoy selling and being rewarded for your efforts? If this is you, then you are just the person we are looking for to join our sales team as a Credit Manager. Apply online at www.wellsfargo.com/careers — requisition #: 3251674 UNION WEEKLY
16 MARCH 2009
Brodacious Illustration
Alright so I learned in an e-mail that counter culture is somehow related to tattoos and piercings and that I’m supposed to write about it. Cool. There’s a problem, though. If you’re anything like me, you are the world’s biggest baby and you are afraid of having something on you forever. What if you still want to stick it to all the squares out there? Hmm I don’t know why don’t you read this article chump. To accommodate all the babies out there I have created a list of cool ways to show all of the people bringing you down that you are one fed up baby. You are the baby. Here’s an easy move you can try. Put your hand in your pocket, and then start flipping everyone off. They can’t see it! You can even smile and chuckle to yourself and everyone will think you’re just a fun guy but in reality they are getting flipped off. Hard. You don’t even have to see or know the person in real life. You can just find a picture of them
RACHEL RUFRANO
ANDY KNEIS
SPORTS
LET THE MARCH MADNESS BEGIN
PACIFIC OVERPOWERS THE BEACH MEN’S BASKETBALL LOSES IN ANAHEIM Steve Worden
T
he Monson Maniacs arrived at the Anaheim Convention Center Arena in numbers as a sea of black and gold engulfed the orange of the Pacific supporters in a game that might as well have been played in the ‘Myd. Three Long Beach State fans even came rocking the pyramid hats, which I thought was absolutely awesome. Spirits were high as most 49er fans were expecting their team to cruise into the final against Cal State Northridge. Long Beach State had, after all, beaten Pacific in both regular season games this year. Student-made signs were being flashed around the arena: my personal favorite had Prospector Pete behind a bent over cat that looked eerily similar to Tony the Tiger. Do I really need to explain the rest? Use your imagination, I’m sure you can figure it out. It’s just too bad that the tiger had claws. And teeth. Long Beach State had its tournament hopes dashed away with a heartbreaking 65-60 loss to Pacific. T.J. Robinson led the 49ers in scoring, posting 21 points on a 6-of9 shooting night. Morris recorded 13 points with the rest of Long Beach
Photos RUSSELL CONROY UNION WEEKLY
16 MARCH 2009
State scoring in the single digits. The 49ers worked hard to keep contact with Pacific the entire game. Though never taking the lead, Long Beach State kept the margin in single digits with the greatest difference between the two teams capped at 9 points. The beginning of the first half saw Pacific jump ahead quickly with two from behind the arc. An early 8-0 run by the Tigers pushed the lead to 9. The 49ers settled down the rest of the half, outscoring the Tigers and keeping the score close at the half, 29-26. Donovan Morris scored 5 early points for the 49ers but was quiet for most of the half afterwards. His next points came with about one minute remaining in the first half. Long Beach State kept the score close in the second half, keeping the margin at no greater than 7 points. The 49ers even tied the game with 15:58 remaining. D-Mo seemed to be out of his slump with a well-timed three pointer early in the half. But he continued to struggle from inside the arc. This half brought more scrappy play from both teams. There were a few empty possessions for each side and plenty of wasted opportunities. The intensity picked up in the last
10 minutes. Long Beach State came away with some key turnovers but failed to score on the ensuing break or transition. The 49ers had their share of possession problems losing the handle down low (due in part to Pacific’s defense in the paint) and on the break (for no apparent reason at all). The pace of the game only got faster as the minutes dwindled away. With around 3 minutes remaining, the two sides traded a few three pointers. Long Beach State showed more aggression attacking Pacific’s zone, but were fended off fairly well. Pacific were still ahead with a slim lead of one point. The last minute saw three impressive defensive possessions from Long Beach State as the 49ers pressed hard, forcing turnover sandwiched between two timeouts Pacific were forced to take. The first of those timeouts was dangerously close to a 5-second inbound violation. The second came as a result of a 49er double-team in the backcourt. Long Beach State had possession with 15.7 seconds remaining and trailing only by one with the score at 6160. Their possession ended in a missed basket. Pacific ended up taking the game on free throws.
JAYCE YAMAGISHI
It’s that time of year for basketball fans: March. It’s the month basketball fans take a break from the NBA season and turn their attention to the college ranks. In the Los Angeles area, many may find it difficult to focus on anything but the Lakers quest for a championship. However, no true basketball fan can ignore March Madness. Unlike college football, basketball gives schools a chance to truly prove themselves as the best. That’s something all players and fans can appreciate. This year’s NCAA Basketball Tournament looks to be wide open, with more than a dozen teams considered legitimate contenders for the National Championship. Let’s take a quick look at the field. Coming into the season, North Carolina was the top-ranked team and the overwhelming favorite to cut down the nets on April 6th. However, injuries and consecutive losses to begin Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC) play raised doubts among fans and experts. Since Carolina’s early season struggles, Pittsburgh, Wake Forest, Duke and Connecticut have all spent time at the top of the polls. Oddly enough, North Carolina regained the top spot on the final week of the season, ending the long road where it started. Memphis, Louisville, Oklahoma and Michigan State have also been lingering near the top of the rankings for most of the season. All of these teams must be considered contenders for this year’s championship as well. So who will stand atop all other schools in the end? Many believe pre-season favorite North Carolina is still the team to beat. With last season’s National Player of the Year Tyler Hansbrough and recently crowned ACC Player of the Year Ty Lawson, North Carolina seemingly has too much talent to not win. However, Pittsburgh and their two stars DeJuan Blair and Sam Young are looking to prove otherwise. Come tournament time, there will be 63 other schools with the same attitude. While the championship is the main focus, every year the tournament also brings the spotlight to several lesser-known schools. Who can forget unheralded George Mason’s run to the Final Four in 2006? With wins over basketball powerhouses North Carolina and Connecticut, George Mason became the story of the tournament despite not winning it all. Last year, Davidson tried to follow in George Mason’s footsteps with their own improbable march through the tournament. Led by star guard Stephen Curry, Davidson came up just two points shy of the Final Four. Finally, there is the unforgettable image of Gonzaga star Adam Morrison bawling at midcourt following a loss to UCLA in 2006. That’s an image many college basketball enthusiasts will never forget. So what surprises are in store this year? Like millions of basketball fans across the country, I’m just waiting and watching. Play begins March 17, and college basketball will have the sports world’s attention for the next three weeks.
M83
MUSIC
AND THE
LA
PHILHARMONIC
a crowd of people who paid around forty bucks to be there. It took every ounce of patience that I had in me to not yell at this guy, but I decided against causing a scene seeing as to how I was on assignment and in such a classy place. Also, I am AfricanAmerican, I didn’t want to make my people look bad by hitting some guy in the mouth at the Walt Disney Concert Hall. As stupid and insensitive as it was for him to say that, I could understand where the douchebag was coming from. That’s the thing; M83 isn’t for everyone. The French band draws heavily from shoegaze themes; lush instrumentation, feathery vocals, looped indecipherable sound effects. M83 is five albums deep and in the last nine years have made a name for themselves by consistently putting out ambitious and experimental albums. I have been following them closely since high school, and their latest album, Saturdays = Youth, has been on constant repeat in my iPod since it came out in 2008. If you don’t have it yet, I suggest you cop that shit immediately. After Gonzalez, the LA Philharmonic performed two pieces which were intended to be a musical response to Gonzalez’s first set. They performed Arvo Part’s Frartres in mechanical unision and with great expertise which could only come from an orchestra that has been playing together for a long time. They were excellent. The dark piece goes surprising well with the intensity of Gonzalez’ solo set. The conductor waved his arms dramatically with emphasis to guide the orchestra along. The LA Phil finishes up their set by playing Claude Debaussy’s infamous La Mer. The piece was played beautifully, steadily ebbing with an appropriate intensity—a mood that was very consistent the whole evening. I had never seen an orchestra perform before tonight. To be perfectly honest, I have always had this image of a bunch of stinky old people with receding hairlines playing instruments with withering fingers as they squinted to see their sheet music. My imagination was incredibly wrong. Widely regarded as one of the most progressive orchestras in America, the LA Philharmonic pride themselves on their dedication to exploring new songs and the future of musical expression. Their philosophy is what prompted them to team up
with the indie band Grizzly Bear earlier this month and M83 this evening. After the LA Phil classically rocked the house, Gonzalez then came back out and resumed his post inside of his electronicinstrument fort. A small group of women in all white walked onstage as well, a chorus that provided angelic harmonies for the M83 and LA Phil collaboration. Five songs were played, mostly from the 2005 album, Before the Dawn Heals Us. With songs like “Moonchild,” M83 provided the electronic loops and the sound effects while the LA
Philharmonic skillfully provided the rest. Intense blue and purple lights illuminated the stage as the set dramatically ended with the epic song, “Lower Your Eyelids and Die with the Sun.” And when the wild ride was over I am pleased to announce that everyone gave M83 and the LA Phil a standing ovation. I am also pleased to announce that the d-bag that yelled after Gonzalez’s first set walked his incredulous ass out of the show early, thus leaving me and the rest of the M83 fans there to enjoy the rest of the night.
UNION WEEKLY
16 MARCH 2009
Photo
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he Walt Disney Concert Hall is an experience in itself. Its architecture boasts numerous golden-brown curves and arches, making it more grand and upscale than the average concert venue. It is the home of the Los Angeles Philharmonic, and it was for this reason that the sold out crowd last Saturday night was filled with older, more refined season pass holders and younger, American-Apparelwearing hipsters coming to the place for the first time. French band M83 played a set with the Los Angeles Philharmonic Orchestra, and everyone from different walks of life came to see how the electronic group pulls off a set with one of the greatest classical orchestras in America. Every seat was filled inside of the Walt Disney Concert Hall. As we waited for the set to begin, people chatted quietly amongst themselves, many of them not quite sure how to act in such a formal venue. Our seats faced each other on four sides making the bottom floor a stage—completely viewable to everyone. The house lights of the WDCS went black, then blue, purple, and pink lights illuminated the hall. M83 frontman Anthony Gonzalez walked out alone on stage to perform his solo set. Gonzalez’s “control center” surrounded him on all sides; an electronic board with numerous buttons and twinkling blue lights, two keyboards, a synthesizer, and his Macbook sat open ready to work. His electronic fortress looked incredibly out of place amongst the golden harps and music stands. Throughout the thirty-minute set, Gonzalez flowed, vibed, and swayed with his moody rhythms. His musical style was consistent, simple at first—he let the beat build, kicked up the drums, leading to a fantastic crescendo. Then he let that beat soften and carry his listeners into his next song. His set ended after thirty minutes. The audience clapped enthusiastically as he walks off stage. Well almost everyone. This artsy older guy sitting next to me with slicked down grey hair and unceasingly crossed legs yelled out, “Finally, some real music!”. He wasn’t referring to Anthony Gonzalez, but rather the LA Philharmonic, whose members began trickling on stage to set up their instruments. I am all about musical opinions and expressions, but I am not about being rude, especially in
ANDREW LEE
JESSICA WILLIAMS
MAKE YOUR MARK A visit to America’s oldest tattoo parlor
O
MATT DUPREE
n a breezy Friday night, two valiant Union reporters headed down to Outer Limits Tattoo & Piercing, a three-sectioned shop at the Pike that gleams with the history of nine decades of operation. In the front is the tattoo parlor, a wide and welcoming area that rings with the sound of buzzing tattoo guns. The piercing parlor lies in the back, centered around a gleaming case full of (presumably) every kind of body jewelry. And in one corner sits the museum, a tribute to Bert Grimm’s original shop at the location, full of old tattoo equipment, flash sheets, and photos of Grimm’s work way back when. Tattoo artist Mikey Vigilante took some time to talk us through the finer points of planning, getting, and creating the perfect tattoo.
Photos
KATHY MIRANDA
UNION WEEKLY
16 MARCH 2009
Union Weekly: First of all, how should someone go about getting a tattoo? I assume the first step would be picking a tattoo artist? Mikey Vigilante: Picking a tattoo artist. Well, I’d say the first approach you should do is research local shops. Research online, research reviews on different blog sites, talk to your friends who’ve gotten tattoos whose work you like. First and foremost, you should like the artwork of the artist that’s going to tattoo you. Second to that, you should probably click with their personality. Especially if you’re going to be doing a large tattoo, if you’re going to be sitting with someone through multiple sessions and they’re putting you in pain, I think you should have some common ground to make it an enjoyable and lasting experience.
UW: Someone you could hang out with? MV: Someone you could hang out with, yes. If it’s uncomfortable or if the guy or girl is hard to get along with, it’s not going to be the best experience. UW: Are there things to avoid or check for? MV: Along with the artwork you should check on the health side of things, and that’s where you get a lot of variables. Obviously, make sure that someone’s licensed if there’s a license required. You should make sure that they’re health department approved. You should look for education and training in bloodborne pathogens and cross-contamination prevention, infection control. If you really want to dig deep you can ask about spore testing. Most shops spore test once a week, minimally once a month. And a spore test is basically a packet that a lab sends to you. You run it in your autoclave, it has active microorganisms in it, and it gets sent back to the lab to make sure that these microorganisms are dead. If they are, you know your autoclave is working properly and it’s one more layer of certainty to the sterilization process. Minimally, people should be using one-time use needles. Nowadays, they have disposal tubes. That’s not necessary, but it’s nice. But most times, people re-use tubes after they’ve been run through an ultrasonic cleaner, manually washed, and then re-sterilized. So you have that. You don’t want cross-contamination, that’s important. Y’know, and then just walk into a shop. Get a vibe. If it looks seedy, get out. If it looks clean, you can probably guess that they’re doing a pretty good job. It takes common sense. UW: Now, I know you’re from Michigan, so what brought you to Outer Limits? MV: I knew of the shop by reputation. It’s a very famous shop, it’s been here since the ’20s. It used to be called Bert Grimm’s Tattoo Shop. It’s the oldest shop in the country. So, I knew of it through magazines and I actually had a friend that I used to work with as a piercer in Michigan who moved out here six months prior to myself. She had some experience with Outer Limits and suggested it as a good place to work. So I came out here six months before I moved out here, started scouting out jobs, brought my portfolio, met people, I liked it here, I followed up. She had the job waiting for me when I came out here. UW: What kind of style work do you do, or rather like to do? MV: I like to think I’m very versatile. If I had to choose a couple styles that I really like doing, it’d be like neo-Japanese, neo-classical traditional American stuff. I like doing things that are strong contrast, big, flows with the body. I like a lot of floral and organic stuff too. UW: I asked around among my non-tattooed friends for what they wanted to know about, and the main thing that came back was “Tattoo Horror Stories.” MV: Like do I have any? [laughs] UW: Well, if you have some... No, I think the important thing is how to avoid becoming a horror story. MV: Now, you mean like bad experiences, misspelled names, that sort of thing? When
it comes to names, double-check. Triplecheck. Have it written somewhere off the skin and keep going back to it. Even today I tattooed a word. I had the stencil on, I was at the final stage ready to start tattooing, and I said, “This is how it’s spelled, right?” and I spelled it out as I saw it, just to make sure one more time. It happens though. Sometimes different font styles, like Old English or even script sometimes, look good even though it’s not spelled right. You don’t catch it until someone points it out to you later. Sometimes people will come in with misspelled names. You know, a guy comes in with his daughter’s name and he can’t fuckin’ spell it. That happens. In terms of other horror stories, it’s important to give proper aftercare and make sure people follow up on it to prevent infections. Good bedside manner usually will curtail things such as fainting, throwing up, being sick, that sort of thing. I feel like I have a lot more fainting going on when I was three years in than I do now. It’s been two years since I’ve had someone get light-headed when I’m tattooing them. I think that’s just a matter of your demeanor, your confidence, being able to talk them through the experience and just coach them. UW: You know, as I was writing all of these questions, it occurred to me that honestly, the ultimate answer is really just “Pick the right tattoo artist and you’ll get what you want.” MV: Exactly. Everything else you’ll forget about over time. Like the tattoo, if you skimped out and chose an artist that wasn’t to your liking because it was cheaper, you’ll remember that forever. But the extra fifty bucks or five hundred bucks that you spend, it’s pennies in the long run. And I say that from experience because I’ve got some pretty shitty tattoos. I’m working on a removal project for my entire left arm right now. It was a failed cover-up that my mentors have worked on. They were teaching me and I was susceptible to their influence, they blew smoke up my ass and I’ve got a huge project now. Laser removal is excruciating and its expensive. It comes down to the right artist and getting the right tattoo and everything else, whatever. Student loans! I’ve had people take out student loans before! UW: Okay, last question: how do you avoid tattoo regret? MV: There are no regret-proof decisions. You can’t make one in life. Be it a mortgage, a marriage, a car purchase: everything’s regrettable if your circumstances change. If you get the nicest tattoo by the most worldfamous artist, you get it in a visible area and let’s say you get fired from your job the very next day. You might regret it. I think it all depends on whether you’re a person who lives with regret. Some of us can do things every day and accept the consequences without remorse, and it’s not regrettable because it’s a life experience. You learn from it. Something is gained. It’s a matter of perspective. *Read an extended version of the interview online at www.lbunion.com Outer Limits is located at: 22 Chestnut Ave. Long Beach CA, 90802 Or call them at 562) 437-9121
Body Piercer John Johnson
Tattoo Artist Mikey Vigilante UNION WEEKLY
16 MARCH 2009
16873 PCH Sunset Beach CA. (562) 592-2903 Affordable Prices No job too small or too big
ENTERTAINMENT COUNTER-CULTURE eight MOVIES ABOUT THE UNDERGROUND TWO-LANE BLACKTOP (1971)
MIKE PALLOTTA
YOURSELF PERFORMANCE (1970)
Starring James Taylor (in his only film) and Dennis Wilson (the ironically-drowned Beach Boys drummer), Two-Lane Blacktop follows the two as they race their custom ’55 Chevy across the country. Making their way east, The Driver (Taylor) and The Mechanic (Wilson) are joined by The Girl (Laurie Bird) and eventually are challenged by a pathological liar (Warren Oates, The Wild Bunch) to wager their cars on a race to DC. Crisp long shots of beautiful countryside disrupted by roaring engines permeate the film, all the while providing a picturesque vision of America. While the loose, often non-existent plot lets the film keep its focus on the cars and metaphors.
ROMPER STOMPER (1992)
JOE BRYANT
CRUISING (1980)
Think of Romper Stomper as a predecessor to This Is England and American History X, only it stars Russell Crowe (long before he started phoning in his performances) and it’s set in Austrailia. Crowe stars as Hando, the bossman of a gaggle of neo-Nazi skinheads that are forced on the run after losing a turf war to a Vietnamese gang. Fair warning: Romper Stomper isn’t an easy movie to watch (especially if you have an aversion to gore and dead kids), but the pay-off—a Shakespearean ending that’s far from heavy-handed—is well worth it. And in the spirit of this week’s feature, Hando has one of the coolest arm tattoos you’ll ever seen.
INSIDE DEEP THROAT (2005)
JOE BRYANT
I know what you’re thinking, but Inside Deep Throat isn’t about the Watergate scandal. Instead the documentary focuses on the most profitable film in motion picture history—the porno Deep Throat—and the national controversy started by its titular sexual act (pun most assuredly intended). Inside Deep Throat uncovers a surprisingly complex and sometimes heartbreaking story about abuse, fantasy, and greed in America, involving everyone from porn stars to alleged Mafiosos. Regardless of whether you think porn is awesome or offensive, Inside Deep Throat is an unbiased, engrossing film that’s well worth your time and money.
THE WACKNESS (2008)
JOE BRYANT
Coming of age stories (if done right) are a guilty pleasure of mine, and The Wackness is done right. An all-growed-up Josh “Nickelodeon” Peck stars as Luke Shapiro, a hip-hop-loving, depressed pot dealer that really just wants to get laid now that he’s finally out of high school. Ben Kingsley also reminds us that he has talent as Shaprio’s best customer and therapist, and the duo’s chemistry gives us one of the best odd couples since Milo and Otis. Its killer soundtrack (a who’s who of early ’90s hip-hop) and some of the funniest, most original dialogue of the past ten years guarantees The Wackness a leading spot in your Netflix queue.
JAMES KISLINGBURY
Co-directed by Nicolas Roeg (who went on to direct The Man Who Fell To Earth) and Donald Cammel (who went on to kill himself), Performance centers around a bloke named Chas and a selfexiled rock star, Turner (Mick Jagger before he was a Ring Wraith). Describing the plot to Performance is kind of like describing that time you went to Burning Man—it’s stream of consciousness helped along by a fistful of mescaline. If you’re not into labyrinthine drug trips, the film has its share of female nipples and a cool musical number by Jagger that’s laced with homoerotic imagery. So there’s something for everybody.
MIKE PALLOTTA William Friedkin (The French Connection, The Exorcist) directs Al Pacino in this thriller about a beat cop who goes undercover to catch a serial killer targeting homosexuals. Set in New York, Pacino cruises some of the seedier city streets, clad in tight jeans and leather. He throws himself into the fray hoping to attract the killer, relying on the fact that he fits many of the victims’ profiles. Along the way, the killer is seen, but never clearly. Friedkin even interchanges actors in the role of the killer, keeping viewers from ever quite knowing who exactly is committing these crimes. Friedkin doesn’t make an attempt to showcase gay culture, just the sub-division that loves leather.
HACKERS (1995)
JAMES KISLINGBURY
The worst aspects of Hackers, its naïve presentation of technology, its gaudy décor, the amount of flannel I seem to recall and Matthew Lillard, are also its greatest strengths. I would be hard-pressed to find a movie that’s more of its time than the seminal cyber-punk-for-dummies thriller Hackers. Like Cruising, it’s also an artifact of a culture that doesn’t exist any more (or, more accurately, never existed). In the end, the movie kind of comes off like your dad when he’s drunk— goofy, loud, dorky, but undeniably entertaining. Plus, it’s got Angelina Jolie’s titties back when they were still quaint.
THE LITTLE RASCALS (1930s)
MIKE PALLOTTA
If you’re going to have a list of movies exhibiting the underground, then you have to include Spanky, Buckwheat, Alfalfa, and the rest of the gang that helped make counter-culture what it is today. Yes, technically we’re talking about the serials, but either way the Rascals went about wreaking havoc, crafting tools of whimsical tomfoolery the likes of which hadn’t been seen in children before. They showed us all how to: let loose, create a club, exclude women, and laugh at horribly racial humor and stupid fat kids alike. That is underground. That is counter-culture. Fuck all these movies, Our Gang and The Little Rascals went way further and came out half a century earlier. UNION WEEKLY
16 MARCH 2009
LITERATURE READ THIS BOOK BEFORE YOU DIE The Book of Dead Philosophers by Simon Critchley TYLER MALONE
Y
ou’re going to die. So am I. Death, so to speak, will someday be the death of us all. Death, the great equalizer, is the one thing that we have in common with every human being that has ever stepped foot on this little oasis in the notso-center of our vast universe. We inevitably situate out lives in anticipation of death. It is death that gives our lives meaning while simultaneously stripping it of meaning. Why, if this be so, has it taken so long for a writer to finally compile a philosophy encyclopedia of sorts written not through the lens of the lives of philosophers, but through the lens of their deaths? No matter the reason, Simon Critchley has finally written such a book: The Book of Dead Philosophers. Critchley is an English philosopher who now teaches at the New School in New York. He is involved in the International Necronautical Society, a parodic avantgarde organization started by artist Tom
McCarthy, whose stated aim is “to map, enter, colonize and, eventually, inhabit [death].” Here we have a necronautical text par excellence. Critchley takes Cicero’s axiom, “To philosophize is to learn how to die,” and puts it into perhaps its most literal use. He gives us the deaths of around 200 philosophers and allows their beautiful, ironic, surreal and/or simply strange ends to illuminate both their lives and philosophies. The entries vary greatly in size and substance. Some are as short and innocuous as his entry on Demetrius who merely warrants the few words “fatally bitten by an asp,” whereas others become multi-page treatises on certain philosophers’ theories and lives (but still always glimpsed through the kaleidoscope of their deaths). As Critchley explains, these entries can be read individually, but, “if read from beginning to end, a cumulative series of themes will emerge that will add up to a
specific argument about how philosophy might teach one how to die, and by implication, how to live.” In this way, these deaths roll over the reader like a series of waves composed not of molecules of water but of a myriad of question marks. Though Critchley’s voice and views are present throughout, he never resorts to any crude didacticism which would have entirely undercut his project. His point is not to explain death, nor to tell us how to die, but rather to help us to die laughing. Comedy is present throughout, but that isn’t to say that the book is solely a joke. The Book of Dead Philosophers is no more a joke than our lives—and deaths—are. Whether you enter this text for a laugh, to learn about philosophy, to face death, to follow an experienced necronaut on a philosophical odyssey, or merely to discover things like the fact that Jeremy Bentham had himself stuffed and sits on public display at the
No flowers for Simon Critchley hunh? That’s fucked up. University College London in an “AutoIcon” (which might be useful one day if you ever get on Cash Cab), you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the wit, wisdom and wonder of this necronautical expedition.
FREEDOM IN ACADEMIA
Can HIGHER EDUCATION Survive the 21st Century? ENRIQUE AVALOS In its current form, academia will not survive the 21st century. Improbable are the chances. With the rapid progression and rendering of technologies and all apparatuses therein, one can account for the slow devolvement of academia if measures are not taken to counteract its demise. Academia must not remain beholden to the tired and retiring dogmas of the past. Academia must adapt concurrently with the world, if not surpass the change occurring constantly. Students must be allowed to challenge everything, not merely to read and regurgitate and apply theory to texts that have been rendered irrelevant by an uncaring, maddening world. The present must take precedence over the past. The past must be allowed to fall away and rest itself to eternal sleep. The future remains indefinite and questionable; for its allowance to arrive certainly shies away from view; the only solution rests with the actions we undertake and not ones in other dimensions or planes of thought, reason, or time. Basic fundamentals are necessary, but what lives quite suspect is that quiet implementation of unproven and shallow mass of ideas that live from the past and infect the present, that miserable insistence to constantly relive the lives of others. Students must be allowed to create their own theories. Students must be allowed to implement their own ideas, assert their challenges to the deified Gods of Academia, and remake the world as necessary. Students should consider their contemporaries instead of subjects to an UNION WEEKLY
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established hierarchy of monarchs and gods. Students pay fees for an education where they are subjugated by the chains of past generations; then pay outrageous sums for books, for parking, and all for the reason and purpose to live out and survive the screening process that is a college education. We survive the tests and rigors of indoctrination in the hopes of one day landing a reasonably satisfying job, but we are not allowed to teach ourselves how to find and arrest a reasonably satisfying life. Our souls and minds remain confined. Then, how must one proceed into the world? How must one free oneself? One must successfully survive an undergraduate and graduate education in the hopes of one day making a marginal difference in the monolithic and unchanging stone; so it seems. It is incredibly rare for anyone to alter the fabric of a culture, so it is rightly imperative that one dissents at appropriate junctures in order to scratch the unfeeling heart of an indifferent system, of an indifferent and uncaring machinery. One must quietly suffer in order to wrest away partial joy in the magnificence of darkness in search of light. Hope and change are not out of reach. Perhaps, then, one day, we will all be Gods; then, perhaps, one day we will all be free from the poverty of subordination and rightly be crowned masters of our own kingdoms—each one residing in the heart and soul of a newfound freedom born from light.
CREATIVE ARTS
Photography: Devin Frazee Model: Michael Johnson Author: Anonymous UNION WEEKLY
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CULTURE the union weekly talks with missy suicide, founder of suicidegirls.com suicidegirls.com
and the DVDs, through being on CSI to meeting girls around the world.
kathy miranda
I
came across SuicideGirls.com in a conversation with a guy friend, and from the first mention of the site, I immediately thought it was a porn site. After all, what else do guys talk about? Nonetheless, it piqued my curiosity. I perused the site for a bit, and it appeared right away to be more than just pretty naked girls with tattoos. Over the past 8 years, SuicideGirls.com has garnered the reputation of an internationally recognized community of confident women (and men) who advocate an optimistic outlook on sexual identity. The site has established an exciting creative outlet for people around the world to connect through alternative cultures of music, tattoos, and other individualistic mediums, from photography and fashion to politics and religion. SuicideGirls aims to re-define the conventional idea of beauty by encouraging our generation to dismiss conformity and promote individuality, no matter how eccentric or strange we may be. The lifestyle brand does so gracefully, and with some artistic taste. Make all the assumptions you want, but I am undeniably smitten with the female form. The curves of a woman’s body produce some mystical aura of beauty I wouldn’t dare attempt to describe. Maybe it’s the fragile elegance of her appearance or the confidence embodied in the subtle gestures of her limbs, but there is definitely something to be said about the female who isn’t afraid of positive sexual expression. In a brief interview with Missy Suicide, the creator of SuicideGirls.com, it was clear to me that she couldn’t agree more. Union Weekly: How would you describe the quintessential Suicide Girl?
UW: How would you, as the creator of the SuicideGirls brand, respond to some of the misconceptions people have about SuicideGirls, and the assumptions people make based on the content and images of the site. Some people may reduce it down to pornography, since the site does feature nude photographs— what are your thoughts on that? MS: Yes, the site does feature nude photographs, but they’re in the vain of Bettie Page and they are a take off from the classic pinup style. The girls are the ones in control of the photo sets. They decide how they feel about themselves and that’s what is portrayed in the photos. And that is different than any photography right now. Most photography is about the photographer’s artistic vision whereas SuicideGirls is about carrying out the model’s artistic vision. People have all sorts of assumptions about people with tattoos— but you know, we have girls that are doctors and lawyers and mid-wives and authors and musicians—people from all walks of life—stay-at-home moms and school teachers, you know? UW: Would you say the site is trying to break that stigma of girls with tattoos and piercings?
Meet Sauki. She’s been a SuicideGirl for three years. She loves tattoos, fashion, and ice cream. She would love it if you talk dirty to her. Visit her SG page at http://suicidegirls.com/girls/Sauki/profile.
Missy Suicide: The quintessential Suicide Girl is self-confident, she feels comfortable with her body and herself, and she is not afraid to express herself, you know, through tattoos or piercings or through her look. And she’s got a lot of attitude. UW: What was your main vision and your main goals when you started the SuicideGirls website? MS: When we first started the brand, you know, it was
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just a website. It was something we did because we liked it—it was a way for us to keep being excited about the internet. And to keep in touch with our friends and do cool things. We had no idea that it would grow into an international media brand. And as it evolved, we’ve just done things we’ve always liked and things that maintain the quality of the original SuicideGirls message, which is paramount. It’s been a real blessing to be able to grow the brand in so many different ways, through the books
MS: The girls express themselves in their journals and in the community and groups. They participate amongst the community. It’s pretty obvious, you know, when a girl is talking about—I don’t know, Baudelaire—you know then you just can’t judge a book by its cover.
UW: SuicideGirls has pretty much hit all the markets. Do you have any future projects with the brand? MS: We just put out the new book, the 400-page book, SuicideGirls: Beauty Redefined, and we’re working on few more projects that we’re really excited to be a part of. Visit SuicideGirls.com to join all the fun!
COMICS Crossword puzzles provided by BestCrosswords.com. Used with permission.
Goonis 3000 by alex P.M.
Drunken Penguin Presents... by James Kislingbury
Across 1- Former Fords 5- Hoodwink 9- Played the part 14- Son of Isaac and Rebekah 15- Writer Sarah ___ Jewett 16- Prospect 17- Diamond cover 18- Shower 19- Whirling 20- Boring tool 22- Reasoning 24- Fleur-de-___ 25- Ornamented tobacco pipe 29- Landed 32- Young salmon 34- Relocate 35- Wander 36- Four-door 37- Type of guard 38- Contest, ethnicity 39- Declaim 40- Pious platitudes 41- “___ Brockovich” 42- Hybrid beast 43- Starchy staple
44- Mgr.’s helper 45- Primates with short tails or no tail 46- Fathered 47- Return match 49- Explosive sound 50- Kilmer classic 52- Beginning 56- “West Side Story” song 59- Spoils 61- Caucus state 62- Dominant 63- “Rule Britannia” composer 64- Lyric poems 65- Mall frequenters 66- Permits 67- Stool pigeon: var.
Down
1- Riga resident 2- Former Russian ruler 3- Venture 4- Adding vitamins, say 5- Hard outgrowths 6- Man-mouse link 7- Indigo 8- Greek philosopher 9- Benefit 10- Boundary
11- Mao ___-tung 12- Hot time in Paris 13- Indian dish 21- Succor 23- Gather 26- Angora fleece 27- Show clearly 28- Shaped like the Big Top 29- Debt that remains unpaid 30- Rough 31- Intolerance 32- External 33- Proverb, saying 36- Comfort 46- Former coin of France 48- Snares 49- Assumed attitudes 51- Open infection, painful 53- Pop 54- Large jug or pitcher 55- Piece of work 56- Witty remark 57- Hydrocarbon suffix 58- Road with a no. 60- Explosive stuff
Caramel > You by Ken C.
penguin.incarnate@gmail.com
You down with OPP?
E-mail editor Victor Camba: victorpc.union@gmail.com Or drop off comments at the Union office Student Union Office 239
Humanation by Travis Ott-Conn
ANSWERS
UNION WEEKLY
16 MARCH 2009
Disclaimer:
This page is satire. We are not ASI, nor do we represent the CSULB campus. Minstrel blood. Send rags to bear.grun@gmail.com
“Just eating a donut over this trashcan.”
Volume 64 Issue 08
Monday, March 16th, 2009
Area Man Set to Use Coupons on First Date Lloyd’s torrent of self-esteem may have been the result of more than just Margaritas. Lloyd recently joined SALI (Single And Loving It) a local support group for “single, motivated, independent women” that originated at a candlelight gift party in a Huntington Beach home 6 years ago. The group’s charter states that among other personal goals, SALI aims to, “Use public humiliation in Danny Casey’s (above left) thrifty hijinks aren’t fooling Lisa Lloyd (right) into fucking him anytime soon. order to teach men But, after lip-syncing to “Bar- the obvious errors of their pig BY BOSSY BOOTS racuda,” Lisa suddenly, “went ways wherever possible.” SUNSET BEACH, CA – Dan- out to lunch…I’ve seen some When presented with this inny Casey, 53, sent shockwaves and messed-up women, but I’ll tell formation, Danny Casey stated, wide-spread eye-rolling through ya, the you-know-what hit the “Hey, I just wanted to take her to North Orange County/South fan. She just ran out of the bar dinner. I’m not made of money, Long Beach’s single, middle-aged, yelling ‘I’m worth it!’” said Allen. I don’t have one of those money white, female community early Lisa Lloyd, a time-share sales trees, ya know? But I also didn’t Saturday morning with an alleged associate, said, “I was sitting there mean to upset their lady-club. It mention of coupon-use on a po- and he had the fuckin’ nerve to be sounds kinda hot, actually.” tential date with Lisa Lloyd, 51. all, ‘Hey baby, I wanna take you Representatives from SALI reAccording to Don Allen, a to this Sushi place I know some- fused to comment on Lloyd’s acbartender, the two purchased time. I got a two-for-one cou- tions, but did respond to Casey’s a pitcher of Margaritas around pon.’ I’m not a bitch. I know I’m statement calling it “typical.” 11pm at the Sunset Beach Bar & a catch, and I’ve just had enough When asked if Casey planned Grill, and spent the evening pick- of men not giving me the dinners on using his coupon line again, ing selections from Heart and I deserve. And I use ‘dinners’ lit- Casey stated, “Oh yeah. There’s Rush for the jukebox. Allen re- erally and symbolically. You can’t gotta be a lady out there that calls Lloyd yelling “This is so my get either of those at a place that loves an old-fashioned guy, and song!” multiple times. has coupons.” old-fashioned deals.”
LBUNION.COM
Clammy-Handed Subway Employee Prepares Food Poisoning BY THE FROTHY SEA Valdosta, GA – Since two weeks ago when he was first hired, Subway employee William Robert Faulkner Bourbon has been making food poisoning rather than sandwiches for patrons with his clammy hands. “Look y’all, I’m real sorry, but my hands are just ’bout stickier than a pig’s belly in July,” said Bourbon while putting together a bologna club sandwich for Denise Morris, mother of eight children by seven men. After squirting five teaspoons of mayonnaise onto the sandwich, Bourbon remarked, “Wow, would you look at that? It’s all floatin’ ’round in the wetness that’s a poolin’ on that there slice of baloney. That’ll be five dollars, ma’am.” Official Subway protocol is to wear gloves made of see-through plastic film, but Bourbon’s hands are so clammy that “the little rapscallions just slip right off yonder into that fella’s sammie. Don’t even get [him] started on them avocadees.” In an effort to establish apartheid, Bourbon’s manager Julio Mendez has made numerous accommodations. “I put the air conditioning down to 60 [degrees Fahrenheit] and still the man’s hands are clammy. So clammy,” said Mendez in between belts from a flask. “I’m at a loss. I’d fire him, but I’ve already let William go three times. He won’t leave.” Mendez then locked himself in the bathroom, dry-sobbing.
William Robert Faulkner Bourbon (above) attempts to dry his hands on his thighs off-duty.
The Subway has received 46 complaints in the last week alone, and over 20 individuals with documented cases of food poisoning claim their illness originated from the location. A total of four children that were serviced by Bourbon are dead, or in the hospital or something. Whatever. When confronted with these statistics, all Bourbon had to say for himself was, “You know man, I just gotta keep on keepin’ on. My greatgreat-grandpappy di’n’t fight and die in the War of Secession—defendin’ Rebel Soil—so I could not work in this here sammie shoppe. Hell no, man.” What lies in the sandwich artisan’s future? Bourbon says it best himself. “I been thinkin’ ’bout going back to junior college ’n finally gettin’ my masseusin’ ‘credidation.”
INSIDE
White Suburbanite Watches The Wire, Approaches Blacks
White man Charlie Verheiden has recently started watching the HBO crime drama The Wire and has started approaching more and more black people. “Hey man, it’s all in the game,” says Verheiden while speaking with a co-worker he previously ignored. “Shiiiiit,” he added. PAGE O4
Teen’s Sexual Escapade Brought to a Halt by Dr. Seuss Reference Craig Lamburger was left alone with an erection after suggesting that a girl “hop on pop.” The girl replied, “I will not hop on you here or there. I will not hop on you anywhere,” before sneaking back to her dorm room. PAGE T0
Defense Budget Balloons Under Obama Administration
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Area Man Just Wants You to Take a Look at This One Thing PAGE .05