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Issue 80.15

“No inspirational quotes!”

Allison Meyer, Multimedia Manager

Alejandro Ramos, Editor-in-Chief editorinchief@lbunion.com Bailey Mount, Managing Editor manager@lbunion.com Nathan Zankich, Web Manager web@lbunion.com Alexis Cruz, Social Media Manager Allison Meyer, Multimedia Manager Britney Weller, Multimedia Assistant Alfredo Bañuelos, Advertising Executive Aravind Karuppusamy, Ads Associate Christopher Orozco, Distribution Manager

ART & DESIGN Sam Orihuela, Art Director artdirector@lbunion.com John Mueller, Graphics Illustrator illustration@lbunion.com

EDITORIAL Matthew Gozzip, Athletics Editor athletics@lbunion.com Sylvana Uribe, Community Editor sylvanawriter@gmail.com Sheila J. Sadr, Copy Editor sheila@lbunion.com Amanda Dominguez-Chio, Culture Editor amanda@lbunion.com Peter R. Clark, Entertainment Editor entertainment@lbunion.com Mercedes Colomar, Grunion Editor grunion@lbunion.com Kaila-Marie Hardaway, Music Editor music@lbunion.com Elliott Gatica, Music Editor music@lbunion.com Jordan Daniels, Opinions Editor opinions@lbunion.com

STAFF MEMBERS Natalee Coloman, Karrie Comfort, Wardah Imran, Diana Martinez, Samantha Neou, Soun Oeng, R. Ray Robinson, Tara Thomas, Francisco Valladares

CONTRIBUTORS Eliza Cana,Lisbeth Galeno, Dorian J. Jackson, Huy Le, Audrey Rodriguez, Juliet Rumley, Analeeza Sanchez, Celina Zambrano, Jonah Zeko COVER DESIGN BY: Nathan Zankich and Sam Orihuela

Dear Union Weekly Staff, This is it. The last issue of the Union Weekly...ever. After today, the publication that has been around Cal State Long Beach since 1977 will no longer be in print.

You know what that means? It means you’re the last writers, editors, designers, and photographers of the Union Weekly. It means I’m the last Editor-in-Chief of the Union Weekly.

All together, we’re the last of the Union Weekly.

I’ve been thinking about this for a while, but I haven’t been able to fully wrap my head around it. In this moment, I can say that I thought I would be torn up about it, but I’m actually at peace with it.

I don’t have any regrets over the decisions I made with regards to the Union Weekly and its convergence into 22 West Media with College Beat and KBeach.

That’s because, for me, what matters isn’t the paper. It’s you all — the people that made the paper. Without you — your thoughts,

your values, your ideas, and your drive to create content — the pages would be empty.

Every issue that was made in the past year was made because of you, because of us.

We are the Union Weekly, and the Union Weekly is us.

For those that are leaving, the spirit of the paper will continue through us as you move on to other projects. You’ll carry the same passion and fire that attracted us to it over the other publications on campus.

For those that are staying, you’re going to shape the next chapter of the paper. It’ll have a different name, but it’ll still have the same knack for angst and rebellion. I know it will.

As for me, I still have some time left before I graduate. I’ll be around and lend a helping hand when I can.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Our time together isn’t over yet. We have a few weeks left and I hope we can enjoy them together, even if we there aren’t any issues to work on.

Who knows, there might be coffee,

donuts or bacon-spinach pizza in the office during finals week. (There definitely won’t be pineapple pizza cause y’all are haters, but that’s besides the point.)

It’s been a hell of a ride, and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. Through all the ups and downs, I’m glad I stuck through it. The moments I shared with you all are priceless. I’m going to cherish them for the rest of my life.

Before this, I was just wandering aimlessly through college. You all made me feel like I was part of something. Thanks for everything.

And you. I know you’re reading this, and I want you to know that I’m proud of you. I believe in you and you have all of my support. I’ll be there if you ever need anything. I mean it.

Peace out, young people.

Have a good one.

We must create our own

The Weeknd puts on a

How the movie industry

safe space in an unsafe

stellar show with Kendrick

constantly misrepresents

world

Lamar

Latinos

see page 4

see page 11

see page 14

FEATURE DESIGN BY: Sam Orihuela CONTACT US Snail Mail: 1212 Bellflower Blvd. Suite 116 Long Beach, CA 90815 Phone: 562.985.4867 E-mail: lbunion.info@gmail.com Classifieds: classifieds.lbunion@gmail.com

@UnionWeekly

Disclaimer and Publication Information: The Union Weekly is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of their individual authors, not the Union Weekly, ASI nor CSULB. All students are welcome and encouraged to be a part of the Union Weekly staff. All letters to the editor will be considered for publication. However, CSULB students will have precedence. Please include name and major for all submissions. They are subject to editing and will not be returned. Letters may or may not be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. The Union Weekly will publish anonymous letters, articles, editorials, and illustration, but must have your name and information attached for our records. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 500 words. The Union Weekly assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for claims of its advertisers. Grievance procedures are available in the Associated Students business office.

4 OPINIONS

Minimum Wage Mayhem

Why rising wages won’t lead to prosperity

Photo by (Jordan Daniels/Union Weekly)

Last year the city council approved a minimum wage hike of $10.50, which went into effect January of this year, with a dollar increase every year until 2022 when it peaks at $15.

Mayor Robert Garcia himself has been quoted before as believing in a “living wage,” and this certainly seems to be a step in that direction.

Although I have no doubt that most people in support of the minimum wage hike do so with good intentions, I foresee the Long Beach economy experiencing negative results and taking a hit just like other cities with similar laws like Seattle and, more locally, San Diego.

As reported by Forbes, San Diego changed its minimum wage from $10 to $11.50 and saw a loss of as many as 4,000 jobs in the restaurant industry, which is where about 50

percent of minimum wage workers are found.

Long Beach will reach $11.50 as our minimum wage in January 2018.

And who works minimum wage restaurant jobs? Young people do, with the US Bureau of Labor Statistics reporting an average age of 28.6.

The deeper I dive into the minimum wage issue, the darker the forecast is for people like me that are young and have yet to make any significant amount of money. It’s simple: wages higher than the job market is willing to provide, without government coercion, are going to lead to less people being hired, which menas less hours for those hired and higher prices for consumers.

In fact, Long Beach employers are most likely to pass on the prices to consumers,

By Karrie Comfort Staff Writer

instead of laying off employees, according to Los Angeles County Economic Development Corporation’s study that surveyed local Long Beach businesses.

Something even more troublesome is that since Long Beach will increase its minimum wage faster than its neighboring cities, many businesses will leave or new businesses will not enter Long Beach. This is because a five minute drive into Lakewood or Garden Grove means lower labor costs, leading to what the San Diego Tribune calls a ‘minefield for employers’ of various minimum wages.

I have not even mentioned that the minimum wage rise has a hidden tax that lurks behind it: enforcement. The only way to make sure employers abide by these new minimum wage laws is to enforce them, and

that means a price tag of about $700,000, which has been allotted by city council, according to the Press Telegram. This allocation is meant to supplement business losses and minimize wage theft.

Not only does raising the minimum wage hurt workers by giving them less opportunities in the job market, it also limits potential job experience that could one day lead to a better paying job.

I know Long Beach is a wonderful city, and the intention behind the wage increase is pure, but I fear that the minimum wage increase that as it slowly creeps up, it will also erase jobs that many young people depend on, giving us less opportunity to work, which is crucial for us. We’re getting paid more, but at our own expense.

Dear Straight White Men We need to advocate for safe spaces This is not an article for the feminists. This is not for the activists or the advocates. This is for the people who are like me. Our country is still more than sixty percent non-Hispanic white and seventy percent Christian. The foreverconstant statistic shows that about one in two of us are men. If you are one or more of these things, you probably are a lot like me.

I’m writing to you, the majority, to lobby for safe spaces.

A white heterosexual Christian male from a middle-class family, I practically ooze white privilege from my pores. I am the last person to need a safe space—in fact I confess I’ve occasionally mocked the “snowflakes” who do need one.

But a few weeks ago I attended Cal State Long Beach’s second annual Wake Up! Conference, a day set aside to help individuals feel more comfortable with their identities and better understand the identities of others. One of just

six male participants, I was out of my element and ironically very uncomfortable in this safe space.

But I committed to hearing the stories others had to tell, and this is what I learned.

People of color feel their race is the first thing others notice about them, women feel disadvantaged because of their sex and a great multitude of people believe that they would be more privileged if they had a different socio-economic status.

I heard the stories of people who experienced pain and I began to understand them just slightly better.

So often I’m told that, because I’m white or because I’m a man, or perhaps because I didn’t grow up below the poverty line, I “just don’t understand.” I hate being told that, but I think it’s why we need safe spaces—so that we can begin, slowly, to understand one another.

Safe spaces are not soft; they should not be pity parties, and they are not places without room

By Jonah Zeko Contributor

for disagreement. Rather, they are places where people can gather to listen to and understand one another. This is a place where white people will listen to black people, Christians will listen to Atheists, Democrats will listen to Republicans and vice-versa in each relation. They are places where we will begin to understand.

But the world is not a safe space.

“No K*kes, no Problems.”

“W*tback Lives Don’t Matter.”

“N*gger Lives Don’t Matter.”

These words have been written on campus walls just this semester. On a campus that touts inclusivity and diversity, these are sad reminders that not all people share those values.

President Conoley has admirably condemned these and other hate messages repeatedly, and just recently ordered the police to investigate such messages. But I call for a different approach to remedy these problems.

Bigotry has proven itself to be a Lernaean

Hydra—every time one racist thought is repressed, two more emerge. These are people that say we “just don’t understand.” I say we need to listen to them too. I advocate for the laughable thought that even the racists need safe spaces to be heard and understood—not agreed with, but understood.

If you are a safe-space advocate still reading this, I would encourage you to be patient even with the few who are blatantly racist, and especially with the many like me who are good people, but perhaps slow to understand.

If we want a world inclusive of all people—and I think nearly all of us do— then we have to include even those who don’t. Yes, hate messages must continue to be condemned, but the people who write them need not be.

The world is not a safe space, but if we listen carefully enough, it can start to become one, for all people.

Just Ask Joanne

5 OPINIONS

And Meeko (her cat) Hello everyone! This is the last issue of the semester, so good luck to all the graduating seniors and thank you to those advice-seeking students who have sent in their questions. Life is a long and winding path, but fear not, Just Ask Joanne will be back next fall to help guide you along with the help of humor, wit and occasionally useful advice.

Until then you’re on your own… Cheers!

Questions can be emailed to JustAskJoanne@gmail.com.

Dear Joanne, I’m starting to realize that my best friend has been copying my style. I noticed the other day when they came back from the store with my exact same glasses. Now I realize he’s been dressing more like me for the past year and I’m really not happy about it. I feel like he’s taking my identity. What should I do?

Sincerely, A Sight for Sore Eyes Dear A Sight for Sore Eyes, Well, you know what they say, mimicry is the highest form of flattery. But who are they anyway and what gives them the right to tell you when to be flattered? If your friend is seriously pissing you off with his copycat ways, you should confront him about it. It’d be better than holding in that annoyance and letting it affect your friendship later

Dear Joanne, Lately, my boyfriend and I have been drifting apart. We both work a lot, and lately I’ve felt like we don’t make time for

down the road.

True, it’s nice to have someone to look up to that can be #fashiongoals, but it’s usually better if that person is some distant acquaintance or a fashionforward celebrity. I’m going to assume that you guys hang out pretty often, which puts you at risk of looking like twins whose parents have been dressing them in matching outfits since the day they were born. And it’s not cute.

While it’s nice that your bestie appreciates your sense of style, that does not give him the right to steal your personal identity. It may be too late to prevent him from copying your f ly frames, but now is the perfect time for a bromantic shopping spree to help him rediscover his individuality.

Best, Joanne

each other. What should I do to re-spark our relationship?

Warmly, Lonely in Love

Dear Joanne, Is it okay to ask for someone’s phone number while they’re at work? And if it is, what would be the best way to go about it?

Sincerely, Rufio Dear Rufio, Asking someone out while they’re at work has always been a social gray-area. The appropriateness of this action is dependent on the situation, but in most cases I would have to advice against it.

First off, you have to realize that if the employee you have your eye on is a tipbased position, it is in their financial best interest to smile and chat you up. So if a chaste conversation about the pleasant weather or some mundane current events has you head over heels, you may want to rethink your idea of a personal

connection. Another concern is that they may feel conf licted about rejecting you outright for fear of upsetting the servicecustomer balance and making you angry or sad.

All in all it’s a tricky situation that more often than not should be avoided.

The only exception I would give is if you are a regular customer to their place of work, you’ve had meaningful conversations on multiple occasions and they are seriously giving you signals.

Even then, rather than asking for their number, I suggest just giving out your own. With this strategy they don’t have to compromise the integrity of their workplace and they won’t feel the pressure to make a decision while still in the employee mindset.

Best Regards, Joanne

Dear Lonely in Love, I’m sorry to hear about the distance between you and your man. I think just acknowledging that you don’t make time for each other is a great first step. This means that neither of you are placing blame on the other and are both taking responsibility for this fizzle.

As for rekindling the flame, that first depends on you both. Take this moment as an opportunity for you both to assess where you’re at with each other and with your relationship. If you both still feel the same way about each other, then you’ll know that it won’t be hard to “re-spark” what you both have.

If you are both on the same page, then plan a full day together. I find it incredibly hard to believe that neither of you can spare a day for each other — this reiterates the importance of knowing where you two are at with your relationship, but I digress.

I imagine the two of you have been together for awhile, which also makes it hard to spark the romance back up, but take a day trip somewhere that neither

of you have been yet. Try out Santa Barbara, or Solvang, maybe even San Diego. Compile a list of five things that you both like to do and accomplish at least three of them together; it shows that you both are willing to put in effort for each other, which a lot of couples don’t always have.

If you can’t do a full day then plan a few hours in a day to just be with each other. Stay in, cook together and watch a movie. Nap if you have to! It sounds weird, but sleeping together (actually sleeping) really helps closeness, especially if you cuddle together.

Most importantly, talk to each other. If you both feel strongly about your relationship, then time between you both won’t effect that. Remember, communication is key and is the most solid foundation that a relationship could have. Honor what you both have.

I hope your flame is rekindled and burns hotter than ever.

Meow, Meeko

6 ATHLETICS

Tank-for-Tat -for Title Why NBA teams keep losing on purpose

By Francisco Valladares Staff Writer Put yourself in the shoes of an NBA general manager. You’re going into the season with a mediocre team and basically no hope at making a significant playoff run, if your team even makes the playoffs at all. The next decision you make can change the course of your team’s history.

Will you attempt to win as many games as possible and try to save some face, or dump your best players, lose a lot of games, and potentially get yourself a high pick in the draft?

For any regular spectator, winning will seem the most plausible answer, but in reality losing many matches seems to be the more popular choice among many teams in the NBA. When an NBA team does not make the postseason, they are assured a top 14 pick in the upcoming draft. This is called the lottery. The closer you are to making the playoffs though, the closer you are to getting a lower pick in the lottery.

Essentially, some teams purposely lose to get into a lottery slot. The more losses, the higher

A Valiant End for Volleyball Beach and men’s teams defeated in finals

By Matthew Gozzip Athletics Editor

Graphic by Matthew Gozzip Athletics Editor

probability of getting a better pick. The term coined for this intentional losing is “tanking.”

It has become a growing problem for the NBA, as teams have intentionally rested good players and replaced them with bench warmers in order to rack up more losses at the tail end of the season.

One of the teams that notoriously tanks is the Los Angeles Lakers.With young players like D’Angelo Russell, Brandon Ingram and Julius Randle, they have put together a solid nucleus of potential stars.

Of course, this all came at a risk. The Lakers were never assured the pair of second overall picks it took to take Russell in 2015 and Ingram in 2016.

They also ran the risk of losing revenue from ticket sales with a loss of fan interest. Nobody likes to see their favorite team lose.

Fortunately, the lottery gods smiled on the Lakers and got them potential stars, which became a bright spot in an otherwise lackluster couple of years.

The lottery is basically constructed by numbered ping pong balls that are all put in a circular globe that blows them around. Each lottery team has a certain amount of ping pong combinations going into the lottery. The worse your team is, the more ping pong combinations you have, it’s as simple as that. But even with the most combinations that can get you the first pick, you can still end up heart broken.

Teams like the Cleveland Cavaliers have ended up with the first pick in a draft, even when they had much fewer combinations than others.

So, we’ve established that purposely losing is risky. Your team can lose revenue, fan interest, and even the lottery if the ping pong balls don’t roll in your favor. With this in mind, what keeps NBA general managers interested in tanking?

The answer is simple, the college prospects. These collegiate stars, for the most part, are seen as franchise cornerstones that can turn a team around, one day making

their inept squads into title contenders.

Magic Johnson, the general manger of the Lakers, was the first overall lottery pick for the Lakers several decades ago. In his rookie season, the Lakers won the championship with Johnson leading the team.

And this year’s current crop of incoming collegiate players have made NBA tanking look even more justifiable. Washington’s Markelle Fultz, UCLA’s Lonzo Ball, and Kansas’ Josh Jackson have all been touted as potential first picks and franchise changers with a diverse set of skills.

So, this all begs the question: Are all these young guys sure-fire successes? Probably not, but most NBA GM’s will see some as potential fortune changers.

Considering the current reality in the NBA, only the Cavaliers, San Antonio Spurs and the Golden State Warriors have a chance at the grand prize. So, if you’re a bottom feeder team, a quick

After one of the most dominant volleyball seasons in program history, the Long Beach State’s men’s volleyball and beach volleyball teams lost in the opening rounds of the collegiate national championships.

The surging beach volleyball team exited the competition unceremoniously, losing both of their matches in the tournament against two of the premier programs in the country.

The no. 3 ranked Pepperdine (25-3) blanked the sixth ranked 49ers, 3-0, defeating top flight duo of Rachel Nieto and Nele Barber and the second-ranked group of Anete Brinke and Hailey Harward.

The Waves were a thorn in Long Beach State’s (26-10) sand all season, defeating them in all three contests between them. Brittany Howard and Corinne Quiggle bullied Brinke and Harward in straight sets, 21-16, 21-14, while the usually steady Nieto and Barber couldn’t capture a rhythm after a tough first set.

LBSU’s tough loss sent them to the elimination bracket against Louisiana State where the 49ers dropped the match, 3-2. After exchanging the first four matches, the final contest was decided between the third-ranked duos. Kobi Pekich and Sasha Karelov dominated the first set but ultimately lost the match, ending the season for LBSU. Across the country in Columbus, Ohio, the vaunted men’s volleyball team entered the national semifinals riding a winning streak and a growing swagger. Then they came out flat in the first and only contest. The no. 2 seed 49ers (27-

4) fell to the no. 3 seed BYU Cougars (26-4) in a complete sweep, [20-25, 18-25, 23-25].

The Beach entered the contest as the favorites, especially after an record-breaking

down 32 kills and committing 15 attack errors.

The Beach nearly flipped the script in the third set by inserting underrated junior outside hitter Bjarne Huss to help spring to a 22-19 lead but BYU closed the match out.

It’s fair to assess the performances of both teams as disappointments, especially after doing well all season. Still, just like the play is on the court, winning isn’t possible without upward momentum.

Excluding the national championship season, this was arguably the best season in men’s volleyball history. Not only were the trophy cases filled by postseason awards but the profile of the program continued to expand to a national level. Even better, the young nucleus of the Josh Tuaniga, Kyle Ensing and TJ DeFalco continued to excel and the coaching staff found solutions to get the rest of the team to perform well.

On the sand side, the beach volleyball returned to the championships after a year hiatus. Even though the Beach has won a national championship before, the organized competition was much different. The Big West introduced Beach volleyball in 2015 and the level of play increased with the addition.

Nieto and Barber set records for wins and won conference team of the week honors twice while Karelov, Harward, Brinke all return after strong underclasswomen campaigns.

The ball may have stopped spiking this season but the sun is shining favorably on the Beach, indoors and on the sand.

Rachel Nieto (top left) dives for a dig against Pepperdine. Josh Tuaniga (bottom left) looks for a call against BYU. Coaches Tyler Hildebrand and Alan Knipe (top) look for answers.

(Long Beach State Athletics) season on all levels. The program had six allamerican selections, and player of the year awards for TJ DeFalco and coach of the year awards for Alan Knipe. It didn’t matter once the Cougars pounced to an early lead and never gave it back.

The trademark hitting accuracy and consistent play from the Beach didn’t arrive in Ohio as LBSU hit .215 in the match after knocking

7 FEATURE

Take a second and think of success. What comes to mind? Is it grinding away for countless hours and defying the odds to reach a seemingly unattainable goal? Or is it gaining knowledge and wisdom through experiences, regardless of outcomes?

It could go either way, but sometimes it happens to be both. This was the case for a particular group of individuals.

This group, comprised of students from different backgrounds, came together and emerged victorious in a competition that put them up against the best in their field. More than that, they learned from the experience and forged bonds that they will carry with them as they move on to become leaders.

8 FEATURE

“Diversity brings different perspective and actually makes working together exciting.”

Daniel Perez, Carolina Lemus, Mohammed Alnaimi, Han Nguyen and Darren Teh (pictured left to right) challenged themselves and each other in the International Collegiate Business Strategy Competition. Alnaimi (right) acted as the team’s simulated CEO. (Photos courtesy of Mohammed Alnaimi)

9 FEATURE

“An intangible quality could be felt in the way they referred to... and gave each other praise.”

By Alejandro Ramos Editor-in-Chief Every success story starts somewhere; this one starts back in January in a class taught by lecturer Richard Okumoto at Cal State Long Beach.

The class was CBA 485, or International Collegiate Business Strategy Competition (ICBSC). It’s tailored to prepare students to compete in the international competition of the same name that’ll pit them against teams from other universities. Throughout its 53-year history, the ICBSC has given students a chance to test their knowledge and skills in a simulation that closely mimics the real world.

The competition utilizes a simulation that is designed to have students use the skills and knowledge they’ve learned in their previous courses. It gives them control of a simulated company that they have to manage as they compete with other simulated companies. The simulation changes according to the actions of each competing company, much like in real life.

It was then that Mohammed Alnaimi, Carolina Lemus, Han Nguyen, Daniel Perez, and Darren Teh met and came together as one of the teams that would be competing.

Alnaimi, Nguyen, and Teh are international students, while Lemus and Perez are firstgeneration students. Most are finance majors, with the exception of Nguyen, who is a student in the Master of Business Administration (MBA) program. Several have real-world experience in business settings.

There wasn’t time for them to get know each other; the competition starts on day one with a 200-page manual and a set of data reports from Professor Okumoto. It’s on the students to figure the best course of action for themselves.

According to Alnaimi, Professor Okumoto said this is the closest thing you can get to managing actual companies as executives while in college.

Alnaimi and his team quickly assigned themselves positions that mimicked managing boards of real life companies.

Alnaimi became the Chief Executive Officer (CEO) with Lemus, Nguyen, Perez, and Teh filling the positions of Chief Strategy Officer (CSO), Chief Financial Officer (CFO),

Chief Operating Officer (COO), and Chief Marketing Officer (CMO), respectively.

“It started with trust in everybody’s position and everybody’s capability and background,” said Alnaimi, “Over time, everybody proved themselves to be the best at their jobs.”

The simulation begins at the end of year two, with each team having identical histories that are given to them in reports. Each team manages its respective company from year three through year seven. In the beginning, each week represents a fiscal quarter in the simulation, but as the semester moved on that was ramped up so that one week was two fiscal quarters.

According Alnaimi, the speed and intensity of the competition make it tougher than real life.

“We go through four years of decisions in three months,” said Alnaimi.

In that span of time, each team works to have the best track record as a company. They keep track of sales, inventory, advertising, marketing, and more as conditions within the simulation change in reaction to their and other companies’ moves.

For Alnaimi and the team, the competition was a serious chance to test what they had learned. They set the bar high for themselves.

They enforced punctuality, expected full reports of each other and followed a dress code for meetings. They learned from struggles early in the semester and stayed focused as the weeks rolled on.

The competition culminated with the intensive phase of the competition, which condenses years six and seven of the simulation over the span of a weekend. This year, teams from universities from around the world, including Hong Kong, Fresno and San Bernadino met at the Double Tree Suites Hotel for the intensive phase.

Alnaimi and the team were competitive going into that weekend, but they were still trailing the team from Fresno State University.

With this in mind, Alnaimi and his team devised an attack strategy, hoping they could force the delegation from Fresno to make a mistake.

It worked, and Fresno was forced to take an emergency loan. In this competition, that is the equivalent of giving up a 3-1 lead.

That was enough for Alnaimi and his team to jump to first place and hold on to it through the

end of the intensive session. They had done it.

They succeeded and won.

Now, a few weeks removed from the competition, the team was able to look back and reflect on the ways it changed their lives.

The general consensus among the five was that the competition gave them more than just a feeling of accomplishment. The benefits they received from being a part of it go beyond the first place trophies they received - even though they are nice.

“It looks like this competition also gave us a guidance of what we like and our strengths and what we really want to do for the rest of our lives,” said Alnaimi. “It’s really interesting how this little class changed everybody’s life, or at least put us in the right direction.”

Alnaimi and Perez both aspire to graduate and manage their own businesses and believe the ICBSC has prepared them to do just that.

For Carolina Lemus, the competition changed her perspective on the career path she wants to pursue. Before, she was aiming for a career in investment banking but found an interest in corporate finance as the competition moved on.

“I don’t feel that a lot of business students take advantage of what this actually can offer you towards the end,”said Lemus.

Competing opened up doors of opportunity for Lemus. She was recently hired as an analyst.

During the interview process, she shared that she was competing in the ICBSC, which grabbed the interviewer’s attention.

“Right now, with the world becoming more globalized, it’s very competitive to get a job after college and I don’t feel that a lot of business students really realize that yet,” said Lemus.

But there was more still to the victory than the possibility of great careers. Sitting there with the team, an intangible quality could be felt in the way they referred to each other and gave each other praise. They are quiet and attentive when one of them speaks. They are willing to defer to another team member if they feel they are better suited to answer.

“Going forward, I definitely believe in the power of diversity,” said Alnaimi. “Diversity brings different perspective and actually makes working together exciting.”

10 MUSIC

Raising the Bar in the DIY Scene How a local company held a music festival with The Buttertones headlining Words and photos by Diana Martinez Staff Photographer

Heartcore Productions, a local production company based in Whittier, organized a music festival called BizFest ll featuring 21 local bands and vendors on Apr. 29. This isn’t the first time they’ve thrown a sold out music festival, but it’s definitely their best yet. Their line up included The Buttertones as their headliner as well as DIY favorites such as The Red Pears, The High Curbs, Ariel View, Gold Vine and Espresso.

Heartcore is the brainchild of Dylan Alva. It started as a fun thing to do with friends but turned into a project that has raised the creative bar in the DIY music scene. Each show they throw has qualities details that make it stand out from other DIY shows. This festival was no different.

Alva and his dad designed the stages to use for the fest.

They also had BizFest ll pre-sale tickets sold online, VIP packages and merchandise made for their one-day festival.

The festival was held at an American Legion Hall in the city of Paramount. At 3 p.m. there was a line forming outside waiting to be let in. They had three stages with organized set times that began at 4 p.m. and ended at midnight. Two stages were outside in the parking lot and one was inside the Legion. Heartcore staff stuck to their DIY roots and put up their own chain link fence outside to help control the crowd. They had their own security, portable restrooms and even a Snapchat geotag for people to use throughout the night.

Having The Buttertones headline their sold out festival was a big step for Heartcore. The Buttertones are an upand-coming indie band from L.A. The five piece band is made up of guitarist/singer Richard Araiza, bassist Sean Redman, drummer Modesto ‘Cobi’ Cobiån, guitarist Dakota Boettcher and saxophonist London Guzman.

They recently released their

third album “Gravedigging.”

The restless crowd was full of fans wearing merch and holding vinyl as they waited for The Buttertones to start their set. They played their songs “Bad Girl,” “Sadie Is A Sadist” (off their new album) and ended the night with their most popular hit off their sophomore album “Orpheus Under the Influence.”

Two days before BizFest II, the venue Heartcore booked to host the festival cancelled on them. This was their second time looking for a venue, but regardless of these major setbacks the Heartcore team was able to pull through.

As of now, Heartcore has eleven official staff members that help put together shows each month. The staff include different roles such as booking, sound, visual arts,

reception and security. It takes a great deal of teamwork to organize an event like BizFest and even more to make sure everything goes smoothly the day of. Music festivals and other shows put together by this creative community are a perfect example of what hard work, dedication and teamwork looks like.

Having a well-known and loved band like The Buttertones was an exciting milestone for this particular DIY team. It’s only going to get bigger and better from here.

“Having The Buttertones headline their sold out festival was a big step for Heartcore.”

Dakota Boettcher, the guitarist of the Buttertones.

Games such as jenga being played at BizFest.

Jacob Sahagun of Gold Vine playing his guitar.

Heaven, bassist for Ariel View singing during their set.

Spencer Cohen of The High Curbs throwing horns to the crowd.

Gold Vine vocalist Patrick Moreno singing.

Saxophone player London Guzman of the Buttertones playing his heart out in their set.

Dashel Dupuy of Espresso getting into the groove of his performance.

MUSIC

The Weeknd Keeps the Forum ‘Rockin’

11

A recap of an unforgettable performance featuring Kendrick Lamar Words and photos by Analeeza Sanchez Contributor Abel Tesfaye, better known as The Weeknd or “Starboy,” rose from underneath the center of the catwalk stage. All eyes were on him as he stood in a prism of white lights, lasers and smoke. The crowd erupted in cheers and screams as he started his performance with his No. 1 hit “Starboy.”

The Weeknd performed the first of his Los Angeles stops on the Starboy:Legend of the Fall Tour on Apr. 29 at the sold out Forum in Inglewood.

The Weeknd played hit after hit off his third album “Starboy,” including “Party Monster,” “Reminder” and “Six Feet Under.” He wasn’t the only star under the lights Saturday night though.

The tour includes three opening acts: up and coming R&B artist 6lack, fellow XO member Belly, and the popular brother duo Rae Sremmurd.

The show continued to impress as The Weeknd played a mixture of classics

from the “Trilogy” mixtapes and features including “Might Not” with opener Belly and “Crew Love” with Drake.

Abel made great use of the Los Angeles energy and vibe and had the crowd singing along all night to favorites from his 2015 “Beauty Behind the Madness” album like “Acquainted,” “Tell Your Friends” and “Often.”

Next, The Weeknd began “Sidewalks” from the “Starboy” album and had the crowd swaying back and forth to the upbeat tune.

The song features Kendrick Lamar, multiGrammy winner and Compton native.

Chaos erupted in The Forum when Kendrick emerged from under the stage to perform with The Weeknd.

“Kung Fu Kenny”and “Starboy” shared the spotlight, both well deserving and talented artists. They also shared an iconic moment as they kneeled down together, embracing the wave of pure energy from the crowd.

Lamar then performed his hit song “Humble” from his recently released album “DAMN.” Lamar brought high spirit and intensity as everyone sang along and shouted “My left stroke just went viral!” indicating how popular the new release had already become.

As Lamar left the stage, The Weeknd continued with a mashup of his songs “Secrets,” “I Can’t Feel My Face” and “I Feel It Coming.”

Afterwards, The Weeknd left the catwalk and the stage went dark.

Moments later, the stage lit up in red lights and smoke and the iconic opening of “The Hills” began as the encore to the show.

By the end of the performance, Starboy had a large smile on his face, proud for living up to his newly earned nickname.

How James Dillon is Livin’ A spotlight on a CSULB student making his mark in hip-hop and dance

By R. Ray Robinson Staff Writer Ever wonder what it’s like to be a college student on the verge of going into the music industry? Rapper and dancer James Dillon is the perfect example of this.

Photos courtesy of James Dillon James Dillon is Kappa Alpha Psi fraternity brother and a communications major at CSULB. He is also making much noise as an artist.

The 22-year-old emcee has been writing poetry since he was a child. James was inspired by his mother who is a published poet. Before college, James attended St. John Bosco High School where he met his friend Eddie Terriquez. They began recording music and performing together.

At a party, James performed a song over YG’s song “Up,” and got the crowd pumped up.

As James got more into the hiphop game, he began building up his reputation. At one of his earlier dances, Travis Porter, a seasoned rap group, was so impressed by the young artist that they played James’ song “The Booty Anthem” during one of their live performances.

As a result, James was encouraged to perform at the Observatory, and once he accepted, performed sold-out shows of over twenty five hundred attendees as an opener for rap acts such as E-40, Too Short, ILoveMakonnen, YG, Kid Ink, Young Thug, and Tyga, to name a few.

“I’ve always been instilled with passion and motive to speak and allow my voice to touch others in different ways. I’ve been able to use my voice in ways to bridge the gap between the privileged youth and people who have been through hardships,” James said.

When he is not performing at concerts outside of school, he is performing at CSULB. Not only does James perform with his friends and fellow artists, but he had three mixtapes out known as “Reckless Trippy Lifestyle,” “Overdue For Fame” and “The Trip EP.” His second mixtape, “Overdue For Fame,” had one song featured on the Hispanic urban radio station, Mega 96.3.

The rapper’s most recent work is his music video “Engines,” directed by friend Eddie Terriquez and featuring rapper Jayydee. The video has trap music influences with smooth, flavorful vocals from both artists. James’ lyrical bars

speak about his ups and downs in life, but how he continues to move forward as a young underdog on the path of greatness.

The video also features James doing his fraternity dance called the “Shimmy.”

He delivers a great sense of his dancing expertise as it is smooth, and will grab the audience’s attention from the sexy movements and style. The song itself is so I good enough to feel like it deserves a Grammy nomination.

After graduation, James is planning on moving to Chicago to work with acclaimed dance group The Future Kingz. The group was featured as back-up dancers for Chance the Rapper on Ellen.

Check out how James Dillon is livin’ on Twitter and Instagram @mr.howyoulivin, check out his SoundCloud at https:// soundcloud.com/jamesdillonhyl and watch his music video entitled “Engines” on Youtube.

“‘I’ve always been instilled with passion and motive to speak and allow my voice to touch others.’”

12 COMMUNITY

Divided We Stand Campus community takes sides over proposed divestment resolutions

By Huy Le Contributor

Supporters of the proposed divestment resolutions gather on campus to voice their stances on May 2, many clutching their handmade signs. (Wardah Imran/Union Weekly)

The Farber Senate Chambers have been packed as the campus community attempts to get its voice heard in addressing the ASI’s divestment proposition.

If passed, the resolution titled “Suggestions for Socially Responsible Investing: Companies Complacent in and Profiting from Palestinian Oppression” would retract funds from companies investing in the Israeli occupation of Palestine. Among the companies listed are Caterpillar, General Electric, Northrop Grumman and Hewlett-Packard Company.

ASI Senator-at-Large Yasmin Elasmar authored the resolution with two other senators and the ASI Vice President. Elasmar said the resolution asks the 49er Foundation to adopt a socially responsible investing policy as one is not currently in place.

Elasmar spoke on the recent demonstrations organized in response to President Conoley’s letter to the ASI Senate in which she said she does not support the resolution.

“It’s unprecedented for a University president to intervene that early, and we felt she was a silencing a large group of students who wanted the resolution to pass,” Elasmar said.

“For that reason, we decided to hold a teach-in to educate people about the resolutions, specifically [the one] that

Courtesy of CSULB Divest Facebook page.

President Conoley spoke out about. And then we marched to Brotman Hall, passing by the ASI office, to show our student leaders and our president that this is something we want.”

Student engagement surrounding the issue is high, exemplified by the crowd at Wednesday’s Senate meeting. During the discussion on the resolution on May 3, students and community members required extra seats. Attendees clapped and shouted after provocative or persuasive comments, and the public-comment session was

extended an additional ten minutes to ensure that all voices were heard.

Opposers of the resolution said Israel was singled out and unfairly targeted by it, arguing that the country is the safest place for Jews on earth and for non-Palestinian gays in the Middle East.

Opposers also argued that the resolution has created division among students, anti-semitism and a threat to the safety of Jewish students.

Criticism of the ASI Senate consisted of statements that it should focus on topics

of higher interest to students and that the governing body should be better-informed on the issue.

Supporters of the resolution noted that the state of Israel has built a wall separating Israeli citizens from Palestinians, formed settlements illegal under international law and is responsible for the mass arrests of thousands of Palestine protesters.

They argue that the resolution is a way to peacefully protest the Israeli government’s actions and stand in solidarity with Palestinian families. Moreover, supporters rebuked Israel for taking advantage of LGBTQ+ issues in order to advance its own political interests.

Proponents maintained that their cause is one of social justice, inclusivity and objection to any form of oppression.

Citing the United States’ nearly $3 billion in military aid to Israel, advocates pointed to this as evidence of the issue being relevant to the student body. Defenders also said antiSemitism and anti-Israel are two different matters, which is why they perceive the resolution as not being against the school’s Jewish students.

The Senate voted to pass the resolutions on to a third reading rather than voting for or against them. The reading will once again take place on Wednesday at 3:30 in the Faber Senate Chambers.

CULTURE

Behind Ivy-Covered Walls

13

Theater Arts’ “Good Boys and True” takes apart privilege

By Bailey Mount Managing Editor

The play “Good Boys and True,” directed

by Hugh O’Gorman, continues to sell out through its first week at the University Theatre with its powerful conversations on privilege, identity and sexuality.

The play starts off in the theatre’s foyer with an interactive campus tour conducted by main character Brandon Hardy (Wes Mathison).

Smart, funny and almost strategically charismatic, Hardy walks the audience through the “halls” of St. Joe’s School for Boys to the small, and oftentimes claustrophobic, Players theater where the rest of the play takes place.

From there, the audience is exposed to two hours of secrets and denial. A sex tape is found circulating around the campus. The boy looks a lot like Brandon. The girl looks very unwilling.

Brandon’s privilege is immediately brought to the forefront when his coach calls his mother in to discuss possibly disposing of the tape rather

than alerting authorities.

What makes “Good Boys” so impactful is its refusal to soften its subject matter.

Rather, it traps the audience in the conflict among the characters and leaves no one unscathed as Brandon’s actions shatter the worlds of those around him.

This is first made clear in the depiction of the rape. Viewed behind blinds to Phil Collin’s “In the Air Tonight,” the audience is forced to watch the tape with Brandon’s mother, Elizabeth (April Sigman-Marx). In Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa’s original script, this moment is not portrayed on stage.

It is both through the strategic inclusion of this by O’Gorman and the set design of Lin Xiyu that turn this moment into a pivotal point for the audience. Watching the tape drags them into the conflict. They are no longer passive viewers: they are witnesses.

Photos courtesy of Kip I. Polakoff

Later on in the play, Brandon even admits to his mother that he and his teammates “all watched it together.” Only one teammate, Justin (Shane Monaghan), Brandon’s openly gay clandestine lover, refuses to.

The refusal to participate in something deemed “normal” in the culture of St. Joe’s evenly divides “Good Boys” six characters: Coach Shea (Thomas Trudgeon), Elizabeth and Brandon on the privileged side and Brandon’s aunt Maddy (Jennifer Richardson), Justin and rape survivor Cheryl on the marginalized other.

As the play goes on, the marginalized characters take a more active role in driving the plot. They speak the truth. Cheryl criticizes Elizabeth for offering to “help” her out of guilt. Justin denounces Brandon for raping a girl to prove his masculinity.

The actors take this heavy subject matter and keep it firmly grounded in reality. Never

does the acting feel melodramatic. At the final confrontation between mother and son, it seems as though Sigman-Marx is genuinely afraid of Mathison. The acting transcends normal theatre and becomes all too real.

It’s important to note that it takes nearly an hour and a half of the play’s two-hour runtime for any character to say the “r” word. It, like the act itself as the play continues, is portrayed as something people are unwilling to believe an upper class white boy is capable of.

It is Justin, the marginalized, bullied, second-class teammate that finally says it: “They’re calling you a rapist.”

But, like most privileged people, it takes hearing it from another person of privilege — in this case, his mother — to make Brandon realize it’s true.

In the end, we’re left wondering if a lesson was indeed learned.

14 ENTERTAINMENT

How to Be a Latino in Hollywood How the movie industry misrepresents Latinos

By Lisbeth Galeno Contributor It is not a secret that Latinos are rarely the Holly wood leads. They’re the best friend, the sensual one, the Latin Lover or if you’re Sofia Vergara, the favorite joke. It begs the question, why aren’t Latinos getting more lead roles and why aren’t their characters more than a stereotype?

According to Motion Picture Association of America’s Theatrical Market Statistics, Latino movies made up 21 percent of tickets sold at the box office in 2016. Why isn’t this encouraging producers to create stories that represent a major part of their audience?

When Latinos are consistently being portrayed as someone’s gardener or maid, it not only creates a dangerous stigma, it also limits the aspirations that Latinos get to have for themselves.

With the odds against them, it becomes harder for these people to see

themselves in a positive light. “[The odds against Latinos] makes me more determined,” said Xally Salgado, a Mexican American journalism student at CSULB. “I feel like we should push and try to bring in more faces from the Latino community.”

Salgado is currently producing a Spanish talk show, Beach Views En Español, where she invites Latin American organizations on campus to spread awareness about this and send positive messages.

“I want to bring awareness to resources that we have on and off campus that Latinos aren’t aware of,” said Salgado. “I feel like we have to start trying at all angles. If we bring more Latinos to television, it’s going to start a trend. It’s giving us a voice, and I hope it encourages people to create more Spanish content.”

Working alongside her for Beach Views En Español is CSULB professor and Emmy Award winner, Rafael

“When Latinos are consistently being portrayed as someone’s gardener or maid, it not only creates a dangerous stigma, it also limits the aspirations that Latinos get to have for themselves.”

Nieto. With nearly 40 years’ worth of experience as a producer, screenwriter and producer, Nieto is someone who has seen how the odds were against him from the beginning of his career.

“I knew there was a lot of stories that needed to be told,” Nieto said. “I just thought, why aren’t they doing this? Why isn’t this being done?”

“When I was younger I had a lot of anger,” said Nieto. “Not toward any group but toward apathy. If it didn’t affect them then people didn’t care.

You learn your place.”

Since the beginning of Nieto’s career until now, representation has changed. How to Be a Latin Lover, for example, became the No. 2 film at the box office last weekend. That doesn’t mean, however, that all the stories have been told.

“When you take young kids going to the movies or watching content on television, if they don’t see the heroes look like them, they’re going to think they can’t be heroes,” said Nieto.

The Hardships of Creating Your Own Business Netflix original “Girlboss” is a nostalgic romp through the early 2000s

By Eliza Cana Contributor “Girlboss,” a Netflix original, “loosely… very loosely” tells the story of Sophia Amoruso, the multimillionaire and fashion icon who founded Nasty Gal – an online clothing store – out of little more than an eBay account at only 23 years old.

The series takes place in San Francisco during the mid-2000s and portrays Amoruso (Britt Robertson) as a rebellious, broke, yet driven young girl who will stop at nothing to grow her very own clothing business. Amoruso learns the hardships of creating a successful business all on her own as the boss of her own life.

For those born in the 90s, each 30-minute long episode brings a wave of nostalgia when it talks about the importance of a person’s Myspace “Top 8,” Britney Spears’s popularity and selling and buying things on eBay. The show is rated TV-MA for inappropriate language and its sexual innuendos, and the style is close to a cliché teen dramedy. It made

me laugh, it made me cry and it made me finish the whole season (13 episodes) in two days. The acting is well done as Robertson convincingly portrays Amoruso as a narcissistic, spunky, angry-at-the world young entrepreneur.

This Netflix series is entertaining to watch with its empowering soundtrack and

hilarious dialogue, but its title “Girlboss” does not align well with what people might expect to see from the show. The timing of the show is interesting, airing at a time that feminism and woman power are at their strongest, but Amoruso hardly embodies the ideal role of an empowering, headstrong leader. She is portrayed as rude, selfish

and crass toward the feelings of others.

She really is a “nasty gal.” To anybody who thought they would be inspired and motivated to start their own business after watching this show, you might find the most interesting parts are the scenes that have nothing to do with Amoruso’s multimillion dollar business.

Netflix

ENTERTAINMENT

Peering Into Minds of a Family

15

A five course meal of a review for “The Dinner”

By Dorian J. Jackson Contributor What would you do to protect the ones you love? What extreme measure would you take to hide your own misgivings?

“The Dinner,” a novel by Herman Koch, adapted into a film by New York filmmaker Oren Moverman, is a psychological thriller that explores the depth of sibling rivalry, exploring

the effects of unaddressed trauma and mental illness in the lives of two families.

The film is about two brothers and their wives meeting for dinner to discuss what should be done about their teenaged children and the crime they committed.

Stan Lohman (Richard Gere) plays a politician running for reelection and his brother, Paul Lohman (Steve Coogan) is a condescending history teacher, who is

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obsessed with the Gettysburg’s Address and is writing a book about it. As the movie moves along, we find that Paul is not as mentally stable as the rest of his family.

The movie opens with a sweeping view of a beautiful lakeside family home, somewhere in an affluent suburb. On the balcony, we see Paul Lohman talking to his wife, who is in the background getting ready for the dinner. He is telling her how he feels war is erupts when meeting with his brother. While he is giving her this narrative, he watches his teenage son flirt with a girl just below him on the front stoop. He really doesn’t want to go to dinner and makes snide remarks during the opening scene. This sets you up to believe this a dark comedy.

The next scene jumps to the exclusive, sixmonth wait list restaurant, where the servers are all dressed up in the garb that is expected of a fine dining establishment.

Paul and his wife Katelyn (Rebecca Hall) awaits the arrival of his older brother Stan and his wife (Laura Linney). In this moment, there is a barrage of flashback scenes that explains why the two brothers who have very little, love and respect for each other are meeting up in the first place.

The movie begins to get deeper as each dish is served. As we watch the tantalizing courses

make their way to the table, the filmmaker sets the tone on Coogan’s character. He gives him long narratives which are interrupted with real interactions with his family. This makes you experience what it is like to be in the mind of a person who is mentally compromised.The wives play an important role as viewers witness how far they will go to protect their children.

This is a great movie to see if you want to peer into the minds of a family on the verge of corruption. “The Dinner” is a very psychological movie that makes you think about the people in your life, what they may be going through and the way they hid their real self by a fake light of positivity. It has compelling emotional monologues throughout the movie that are aided by flashbacks and intriguing music that helps propel the movie forward.

“The Dinner” Length: 2 hr Directed By: Oren Moverman Written By: Oren Moverman, Herman Koch Starring: Richard Gere, Laura Linney, Steve Coogan, Rebecca Hall, Chloë Sevigny, Charlie Plummer, Adepero Oduye, Michael Chernus, Taylor Rae Almonte, Joel Bissonette, George Aloi, Partick Keven Clark

Tech Firms and Desperate People Working for a fishy company in “The Circle”

By Celina Zambrano Contributor “The Circle” is a 110-minute drama, scifi, thriller about a woman, Mae (Emma Watson), who lands a dream job at a high-tech company called The Circle. The Circle is an innovative company with the most powerful technology that allows people to build indepth connections.

Mae wishes to help her family who struggles financially. When she scores an interview at a huge company, it changes her life for the better.

During the first few scenes of this movie, it is confusing what is going on. It is understood that Mae has an unfortunate living situation, but the movie never clarifies what Mae is working for.

At first the movie portrayed technology negatively, and it really started to have the viewer nervous about our world. It shows real-life scenarios that can happen with the inclusion the technology of cameras, social media and drones, and how it could be harmful to our lives.

It makes the viewer think about the world and how technology has grown.

It has relatable real-world situations to the movie and that’s what made it worth

watching. Technology today has had exponential growth, and this movie gave insight into and shows the potential that technology can have.

Overall, this movie is fantastic! It may be longer than most movies, but was sad it end.

Although it could have been clearer about the type of industry that Mae is working in, it really made me think and want to continue watching it.

“The Circle” is enjoyable because you can see the various kinds of technolog y that is used, and can be used for further knowledge. It is also great to see a female lead overcome obstacles.

This movie is worth watching because it gives insight to potential technological advances and touches upon issues that tug on your heart strings, both for and against technolog y.

“The Circle” Length: 1 hr 50 min Directed By: James Ponsoldt Written By: James Ponsoldt, Dave Eggers Starring: Emma Watson, Ellar Coltrane, Glenne Headly, Bill Paxton, Karen Gillan, Tom Hanks, Beck, Nate Corddry, Patton Oswalt, Roger Joseph Manning Jr., Joey Waronker

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THE GRUNION IS DEAD (AND SO IS THE UNION WEEKLY) THE LAST ISSUE EVER GOODBYE

Monday, May 8th, 2017

STAFFERS Mercedes Colomar Grunion Editor Cervantes LeMans Sad Krabman Olivia Ofrenda Design Executor

WEATHER TODAY

Sad Rain

40º/ 60º

TOMORROW

The End of Everything

Good / Bye

LOCAL Local Man offers truce to Area Man. The two get married.

Local Man makes up with Area Man. After much recompense, Area Man proposed to Local Man and they got married the next day. Still a better love story than...G2

UNDERWORLD

City mourns the loss of esteemed newspaper, The Grunion. Denizens create river of tears.

After the sad news was passed around that the Grunion was dead, local citizens cried a river... literally. New river occupied with actual Grunions...G3

GOODBYE

Goodbye.

This is the last headline I’m ever going to write. A lot of you don’t know me, I’m not listed on the staff page. You can just call me headline person. Or am I someone else? Who knows.

Anyway, goodbye to everyone thanks for reading.

The Grunion is a work of satire. It in no way reflects the views of Long Beach Union Weekly or Associated Students Inc.

Volume 80 Issue 15

No Longer Taking Submissions

This is the end, and I’m not crying, because I can’t

By Mercedes Colomar

THE LAST GRUNION EDITOR This is the last issue of the Grunion ever. We are dying. Our awesome newspaper is dying.

Next time you see this backpage it will be nothing. It be a black hole, sucking you into the internet. It was nice knowing all of you.

To my contributors: thank. To my page designer: thank. To my staff writers: go fuck yourself.

I wish I had more interesting stuff to say, but I’m too sad that this is all

over. That tomorrow I’ll come into the office and have to turn off the lights for the last time.

Apparently they are demolishing the office and replacing it with a Cat Agency. Where your cat can get the agent they need for the movies they want to star in. It’s weird, I know, but someone has to support them cats.

Anyway, this is it. I’m not crying.

I mean I would if I could, it’s just I can’t actually cry. My skeletal frame lacks the necessary tears ducts to make tears.

Good news, though, there will be

one last issue of the Grunion. But, there will be no new content. It is merely a “best of” issue. So this will be the last issue where you can read my voice.

I’m going now, and I’m never coming back. You will never see Mercedes Colomar, Cervantes LeMans, Olivia Ofrenda, Corto Kurz, or any other person who has been on this page ever again. It was nice knowing you all and thanks for reading this excellent paper.

Have a nice rest of your life.

I love you all, goodbye.

The end is nigh, the Grunion is dead

By Cervantes LeMans

SAD KRABMAN

After some historical years of Grunion satire, the unstoppable behemoth of cheap laughter cums to an end or into someone’s end.

From parodies of terrorist attacks (our predecessors did that) to rants about fuckbois (our predecessors) to vegetable privileges and genital jokes, we hope that the Grunion becomes vivid repressed memories. Personally, comedy needs to die while sodomy needs to be legal. One could only laugh at reality’s face until you realize that laughter was a weapon against reality’s stupid face and its fake pocket jeans.

We, American mainlanders, must face our fucked up American boonies. Why should we care about each other and strangers?

You got your own selfish sufferings to worry about than other groups’ sufferings. Plus, we all

have the equal privilege to see advertisements more often than you see your family and friends.

We get the freedom to numb ourselves of the daily hassles and stresses of the American life with music, sitcoms, and internet stuff.

The main lesson that I want Grunion readers to know before I stop typing, I hope you think about comedy in a good and bad light. If you laughed at any of our -sist jokes (racist, sexist, ableist, ageist, and classist), it probably has to do with your pleasure in other groups’ suffering. Or it could be your way of coping with differences in sufferings and actually understanding that struggle. If you laughed at specific internet memes, certain Youtubers, specialized catered podcasts, particular Facebook shares, or Bill Cosby’s court case, you got a wicked sense of psychopathic humor and a cool decorated echo chamber. Even

our “current” oppressors got an echo chamber, they are known as Underground Lairs.

In conclusion, you carry the power to laugh at yourself and others. But mainly your humor is okay, I still laugh at outdated jokes; primordial burnings of virgins, the Greeks burning Troy, Romans burning the Christians, Nazis burning the Jews, God burning Sodom and Gomorrah. Goodbye, Grunion readers, try not to burn yourself out during Finals week.

See you off Seventh.

In non-sequitur news, we will never get our shit together in life.

It’s more like how effective and efficient you are in picking up your shit when the fan decides to fall upon your organized shit. Also, there’s some jerk whose main job is throw fans on your piece of pile of dung. It’s his job. As Sisyphus once said, “BETTER ROLL THAT BIG CRAP, UP THAT HILL AGAIN!” OH FUCKING WELL”.

The Design Executor signs off, and tears it all down

By Olivia Ofrenda

DESIGN EXECUTOR Greetings, people who don’t read this underread newspaper.

This is the Design Executor, and I’m here to also write on this last issue as per instructions given by Mercedes.

I think the design of this page has improved over the years and the latest design is the best it has ever been. The Grunion has always been a joke, but I think that these last few iterations and these last few issues have shown that the Grunion can be something

more than a joke.

In addition to that, I’m sad to say that all my hard work over these past year is all coming to end.

And no one will never know who we really are. You will never know who Mercedes is, who Cervantes is, who I am. You’re entering a dangerous zone, Olivia -MercED The staff here is made up of great writers, great designers, and great photographers. We will never get real credit, though, we are stuck here on the back page.

We don’t get the credit that we deserve. Mainly because people think we are a joke.

We aren’t. We write funny stories. We are a creative bunch, we do a lot of hard work. Do you know how hard we work to get this fucking page out each time? It’s not easy.

Anyway, good night, and good luck or some shit. This is the end.

I’ve lost my job. I have to get a new one, and hopefully you’ll see me again sometime. But as for the Grunion it is dead, and I’m tearing everything down.

Oh and for the record I fucking hate all you cun--I don’t care if it is the last issue, you still can’t say that, Olivia -MercED

ASK MS. COLOMAR DEAR MS. COLOMAR, I’ve been tempted lately to venture forth in to my other hole.

You know, that backhole, the one where excrement emerges from.

I don’t want to start with full blown sex, what advice do you have to edge myself into it?

FROM, Aching Analyssa DEAR MR. ACHING ANALYSSA, I’m a firm believer in the “throw ‘em in the deep end” school of teaching.

What I mean by that is that to edge yourself into it, you need to edge yourself on to it. On to a big ‘ol dildo.

The biggest you can find. Huge.

Actually, buy a plane ticket and go to Pennsylvania Avenue. Go up and knock on President Trump’s door and ask him for the dildo he’s using to fuck the country. Make sure to say that your husband needs it though, because he’ll be suspicious of a lady with any sexual agency.

And because that dildo is too big for any one women to get her rocks off, come find me in the Underworld when you’re done looking like a scene out of “Cannibal Holocaust.”

I’m about to be out of a job and have all the time in the world to teach you how to do anal.

DEAR MS. COLOMAR, How do I eat vagina? I want to eat vagina. How do? I. Eat. Vagina.

FROM, Inarticulate Cunning Lingust DEAR CUNNING LINGUIST, I’d say you’ve already got the important part down - the not speaking bit. People all too often assume that their partner gives a shit about what they’re saying when they’re going down on them.

News flash, we don’t. We don’t care, Olivia. We don’t care that you’re pissed that the Grunion is dying, all I care about is you finding the little man in the skeleton boat because no one’s ever gotten an orgasm from someone fucking SPEAKING to them, so please just stop complaining about losing your job and licI digress.

Look, you’re already inarticulate. Use those flapping lips to kiss some other flapping lips and you’ll do just fine.

Maybe in time you can teach SOMEONE a thing or two.