ISSUE 65.05 “I continue to be disappointed that people don’t try and diversify the kind of work they are doing in comics.”
JOE BRYANT Editor-in-Chief
-Harvey Pekar
RACHEL RUFRANO Managing Editor
CLAY COOPER
JOE VERSUS THE STUDENT BODY LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
F
inally, some letters! Listen, I love you guys, but you have to understand that as much as I love writing, thinking of stuff that isn’t just outright babbling is a pain in the ass. Since this week’s issue is about comics, and I wrote about Batman last week, I couldn’t well write about comics this week. So, thankfully, a few of you were kind enough to send in some letters. So, without further adieu, electronic mail from all of y’alls: I wanna let Andy Kneis know that he’s especially funny. I have no way of contacting specifically him, but I hope he will read this somehow. I loved his “Sports for Indies” section. Okay, keep up the great work! Im a fan! -Carolyn Anderson Carolyn, It’s nice to see that Andy has fans outside of the office. For a while there I was worried we were the only ones who thought he was funny, so thanks for the reassuring remarks. I made sure Andy saw your letter, and just to be extra sure, I printed it here! Yay! If you want to tell Andy how rad he is,
I heard that working for the Union increases penis size, I just wanted some more details on this...? Just kidding. Actually, I have a completely random question. Since I’m running out of places to look, I thought I’d ask if any of you Union staffers happen to have extra tickets to the Bon Iver show at Hollywood Forever Cemetery this weekend. If so, I’m interested in buying them. And if anyone’s going but DOESN’T have extra tickets, I’d still really like to see a review of it in the Union next week. Just a thought. So let me know. P.S.- if it helps, I’m a huge Union fan. Read it every week. Long time listener, first time caller I guess. Thanks for the help! -Anthony Wyborny Anthony, By the time I read this message, it was far too late to do any of those things, but Kathy Miranda is on top of things. Expect her review in next week’s issue. We don’t really sell tickets, but if you ever want to go to free shows, all you gotta do is work for us. Yeah, it’s unpaid, but if you can take good pictures or string a few sentences together, consider yourself there. Mr. Bryant, Normally I enjoy reading your publi-
Dear Everyone, This letter is from my girlfriend. And possibly her roommate. Dear Concerned Reader, Shut up. Ask Away!
Who better to get advice from/complain to than some guy you don’t know? Send all emails to: joeb.union@gmail.com
LONG BEACH HAS A COMIC CON! THE WHEN AND WHERE, PLUS SOME LOCAL SHOPS FOR THE INTERESTED Quick, go read “Whatever Happened to the Comics of Tomorrow?” on page 6! Go on. I’ll wait. Done? Great, so I bet now you want to start reading comics. Well, this Friday marks the beginning of the first annual Long Beach Comic Con, located at the Convention Center in downtown! Along with a slew of comics and goodies to buy will be some of the biggest names in comics, including Jeph Loeb, UNION WEEKLY
Jim Lee and comics legend Stan Lee (the dude that created Spider-Man)! Check it out all weekend (October 2-4). And here are a few local shops you should visit:
28 SEPTEMBER 2009
Amazing Comics & Cards 5555 E Stearns St # 103 Long Beach, CA 90815 562.493.4427 www.amazingcomics.com
Pulp Fiction 1742 Clark Ave. Long Beach, CA 90815 562.986.4154 www.pulpfictiononline.com Comics Unlimited 16344 Beach Blvd Westminster, CA 92683 714.841.6646 www.comicsunlimited.com
clay.union@gmail.com simone.union@gmail.com
KEVIN O’BRIEN
kevinob.union@gmail.com
Opinions Editor News Director
ANDY KNEIS Sports Editor
CAITLIN CUTT
JAMES KISLINGBURY cation, but recently a problem has come to my attention that I just can’t overlook. At first, I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. I am sure that you and all of your writers are extremely busy and have very little time to view television programs. Over a week has passed, however, and there still hasn’t been any coverage of the season finale of More to Love in the Union Weekly. This troubles me (and many more of your readers, I’m sure) because it means that 1) you hate fat people, 2) you hate Jewish people (Tali was Jewish, but Luke picked her anyway because love can conquer all), or 3) you didn’t watch More to Love. The third possibility disturbs me the most because as writers, you and your staff (especially Mr. Kislingbury) should be in touch with current trends in television. I hope you will correct this problem in time for season 2 of DietTribe. Sincerely, A Concerned Reader
rachel.union@gmail.com
SIMONE HARRISON
Literature Editor & PR
JOE BRYANT you can reach him at andyk.union@ gmail.com.
Managing Editor
joeb.union@gmail.com
Entertainment Editor & PR
RACHEL RUFRANO Music Editor & PR
CHRIS FABELA
Creative Arts Editor
andyk.union@gmail.com caitlincutt.union@gmail.com jamesk.union@gmail.com rachel.union@gmail.com cfab.union@gmail.com
VICTOR CAMBA
victorpc.union@gmail.com
KATHY MIRANDA
kathym.union@gmail.com
Comics Editor Culture Editor
SOPHISTICATED BEAR Grunion Editor
bear.grun@gmail.com
CLAY COOPER Art Director
JAMES KISLINGBURY Cover
MIKE PALLOTTA
On-Campus Distribution
KATHY MIRANDA Web Editor
CAITLIN CUTT
Advertising Executive
caitlincutt.union@gmail.com
Contributors: MIKE PALLOTTA, MATT DUPREE, SEAN BOULGER, ERIN HICKEY, ALAN PASSMAN, MICHAEL MERMELSTEIN, ALEXANDRA SCIARRA, AMELIA GONSALVES, CHRISTINE NOH, BRIAN NEWHARD, KEN CHO, JASMINE GAGMIER, DAVID FAULK, MAY ZIMMERMAN, JOHN YANG, TRAVIS OTT-CONN, ELISE McCUTCHEN, MONA KOZLOWSKI, NEIL CORBIN, KATRINA GUEVARA, ALLEGRA RINGO, KELVIN HO, BRYAN WALTON, NADIA VANEK, JAMIE KARSON, STEVEN GARCIA, MICHAEL VEREMANS, AMANDA KHO, ISRAEL DELEON, FOLASHADE ALFORD, AARON KOSAKA, ALLISON COLTON, ELIZABETH RENTERIA, ELISA TANAKA
Disclaimer and Publication Information The Union Weekly is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of the writer, and are not necessarily the opinions of the Union Weekly, ASI, or of CSULB. All students are welcome and encouraged to be a part of the Union Weekly staff. All letters to the editor will be considered for publication. However, CSULB students will have precedence. All outside submissions are due by Thursday, 5 PM to be considered for publishing the following week and become property of the Union Weekly. Please include name, major, class standing, and phone number for all submissions. They are subject to editing and will not be returned. Letters will be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. The Union Weekly will publish anonymous letters, articles, editorials and illustrations, but they must have your name and information attached for our records. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 500 words. The Union Weekly assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for claims of its advertisers. Grievance procedures are available in the Associated Students business office.
Questions? Comments? MAIL : 1212 Bellflower Blvd. Suite 239, Long Beach, CA 90815 PHONE : 562.985.4867 FAX : 562.985.8161 E-MAIL : lbunion.info@gmail.com WEB : lbunion.com
STATE OF THE BEACH
YOUR WEEKLY CAMPUS NEWS IN BRIEF
NEWS THE WHEELS ON THE BUS WON’T BE GOING ‘ROUND ON SCHEDULE MICHAEL MERMELSTEIN
JOHN YANG Latino Heritage Month and the USU Program Council! The second annual Latin Organization Fair kicks off this Wednesday, September 30th, from 11am to 2pm at the USU Southwest Terrace. Kaleidoscope was canceled, but at least Smorgasport was a smashing success. It opened up into more areas, much broader than it had been in the past and had over three thousand in attendence. Woot. Off campus shuttles were canceled to keep the U-Pass program. So ASI is working on a proposal to add more routes to csulb. But that will take time. You can think about it while you wait for a bus. Or become a cool kid and get a bike. Quotables from our ASI President, Chris Chavez: “We know the university has a lot of good programs...we need to utilize what resources we have...our biggest concern is getting the word out...we have a lot of challenges...but it’s going to be a good year.” And be sure to look out for the State of the Associated Students, Inc. Address on October 14th. Celebrate Halloween all month with the always delightful Mondo film series at the Long Beach Art Theatre. Surprise! State parks dodged a bullet, and won’t be shut down to save the state some cash. But don´t be surprised if service has less hours, things aren´t as maintained, and new vehicles aren’t purchased. Also, parks that are seasonally closed may stay closed longer then usual. And parts of parks may be shut down to save on operating expenses. Hurray! Did anyone visit Bolsa Chica this weekend? Did you see all that red and mud-brown-bloodpoop-moop-stuff lurking in the waters? Holy zombie Jesus, the apocalypse is here. Now. Want to keep tabs on ASI? Stalk them on Monday at 12:30pm at their Judiciary meeting, Tuesday at 3:30pm at the Board of Control meeting, and Wednesday at 3:30pm Senate meeting. Stalk them.
Illustration
B
udget Cuts have seeped into every discourse surrounding the CSU this year and student’s old nemesis, parking, is not free from this phenomenon. As tuition has gone up, and funding has been slashed, Long Beach has increased the amount of housing for students and thus thoroughly muddled the shuttle situation. And as goes the shuttle situation, so goes city buses. You all see where this is going. Major cluster fuck. So to help rectify this situation the city has proposed some changes to the public transportation students rely on to get to campus. Essentially, the plan is to change the flow of Passport bus B and Passport bus D in order to make them more student friendly. The proposed plan is to change it from traveling from Golden Ave to
Alamitos, to traveling down 4th street then up Bellflower arriving at our campus. For the large amount of students living near 7th street, this proposed change will add more options for transportation, hopefully curbing overcrowding that has overtaken the daily routine of 49ers. Alternately, Passport D is scheduled to shift from traveling down Bellflower to traveling down Atherton, and apparently will have the same route as the old shuttle service, finally ending at CSULB. However things aren’t so cheery for the hopeful students as, unsurprisingly, the easily irritable folks surrounding our fair school are nonplussed about having an influx of young punks that will be directed into their community by the changes to Passport B.
MONA KOZLOWSKI
The neighborhoods in question are those surrounding Marine Stadium. It seems every time any change to campus life is proposed some pocket of old people need to make a big stink over it. It’s a fairly simple equation: CSULB is the center of Long Beach and anyone who doesn’t realize that the price of their property and quality of their life are both greatly improved by the location of a large college campus are simply too stubborn to attempt to reason with. I have complete faith that this bus situation will work itself out since it is a simple enough procedure, but how many more changes to parking laws and city ordinances are going to become battle grounds for folks looking to raise issues for the sake of disagreement? Just because we don’t act like we live in a college town doesn’t mean we don’t.
REPARATIONS FOR THE JAPANESE CSULB SAYS SORRY IN THE ONLY WAY IT KNOWS HOW KEVIN O’BRIEN The internment of Japanese American citizens during the Second World War is an indelible mark on our history. While the infamous “Executive Order 9066” was contrived and enforced by the United States Government, it was the American people that allowed the discrimination to occur. Among the interned Japanese were some 250 students enrolled in CSUs at the time. These students were pulled from their universities and their studies, all to have their rights stripped away, along with their dreams of graduation. Some 67 years later, the CSU system attempts to rectify the injustice that was carried out upon those students by awarding honorary degrees to those
who were unable to return to their studies and complete their degrees within the CSU system. On September 23, the CSU Board of Trustees held a vote, and all agreed that Honorary Degrees would be issued to the formally interned Japanese American students. The same day, the first honorary bachelor’s degree was issued to Aiko Nishi Uwate. Aiko was forced to leave San Francisco State University and was interned in the Gila River camp in Arizona. After the war had ended she was able to finish her studies at Capitol University. She passed away in 1998. CSU Chancellor Charles B. Reed presented her honorary degree to Aiko’s daughter
Vivian Uwate Nelson, who accepted it on her behalf. However, this was not the first step towards compensation. In 1998 Aiko, along with other interned SFSU students were declared honorary alumni. SFSU also commissioned the Garden of Remembrance in memoriam of the interned in 2002. This renewed effort is only in its beginning stages. There are many more degrees to come and the CSU is looking for assistance in finding those who would also qualify. Anyone who has helpful information or may know of someone who may qualify is urged to call (562) 951-4723, or send an email to nisei@calstate.edu.
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28 SEPTEMBER 2009
OPINIONS POSTINDUSTRIAL HOMESICK BLUES
A RACIST HOUSE IS NOT A HOME TURNS OUT RACISM
MATT DUPREE
BREEDS RACISTS
MICHAEL VEREMANS
I
’m going to be honest with you all, I could live the rest of my life without hearing another racist remark. Some of you probably feel the same way. I’ve spent years writing and speaking out not only against extreme examples of racism in our society, but against the more subtle forms of discrimination that permeate everyday life. Sometimes I feel like we have really moved on as a nation, like the arbitrary boundaries of race have been torn down. But then someone within earshot says something ignorant and I am forced to listen. Racism is not a natural human state, it is one that is learned and enforced, so it is no surprise that the ignorance of the parent should be passed onto the child, they teach their children how to think. When I hear an off-comment or paranoid neo-nazi slop, I have to remember that, brought up into an environment governed by rigid insecurity, this is the perspective they were taught to accept and thought they could never change. I was raised different. As a child, I was exposed to count-
UNION WEEKLY
less different cultures through both my Californian mom, who was living in Belgium when I was born, and my Flemish father, who later moved to America. They showed me the richness of global cultural diversity. I got to experience the immense diaspora of human consciousness and its material expression meeting my parents’ friends and exploring foreign cuisine and arts. I started to understand that culture and personal belief form a person’s consciousness, not the color of their skin or even national origin. I remember my mom used to wear a t-shirt that read “Love Is Color Blind,” a philosophy she never had to discuss because she lived it. We lived with my mom’s partner, a green-card holding Mexican who was still very involved in Mexican culture. Exposed to a different side of Southern California, I saw a society that was not restricted by borders or by public policy. We would visit Mexico and I began to understand that I could exist within several different cultures at once, without sacrificing my identity.
28 SEPTEMBER 2009
Indeed, personal culture is multilayered and fluid, like the crust of the earth, no matter how static some people want to make it seem. I knew, coming from Belgium, that I was a different kind of “white,” that I was not adherent to mainstream American culture, but that didn’t mean I didn’t have a culture. With a comprehensive foundation from my parents, I was able to seize a palate of cultural experiences through which to express myself and connect to the world around me. More than anything, I learned to compartmentalize my own beliefs, and this is what probably frightens most bigots in the country—the decentering of their own mode of consciousness. It was difficult to come to the reckoning that my own ethnicity or culture is not the only one or even a special one, but it was even harder to endure the discrimination perpetrated around me. It is our civic responsibility to educate cultural awareness and be aware of our identities in order to end the persistent self-hate and subsequent racism that retards our society.
I’d like to state first that I didn’t intend to write about porn this week. I had a rant about smoking and some harsh words about torture all planned out, but fate took over this week and all I can think about is porn (that’s what she said). Well, at least the idea of porn. After a discussion of nude photography gave way to a discussion of the possibilities for misogyny in visual culture, it was really inevitable that my brain would make the leap to today’s most hotly and pointlessly debated question: is porn good for society? Okay, let’s lay out some facts, just to weed out the dumber parts of this debate. First of all, sexual abuse and rape have significantly lowered as porn has proliferated into our televisions and computers, so the ‘rape culture’ argument is out. These days even the feminist stance on porn is unclear, as some feminists tend towards a more “Go ‘head, girl!” approach to their porn star sisters. Fortunately, I have neither the constitution nor the column space to figure out the cost-benefit of porn for womankind. So let’s talk about the guys. That is to say, let’s talk about porn’s target demographic. Pornography by its nature is emphatically graphic, in such a way that it becomes almost superluminal (“Hey, you! Join the navy!”). It speaks to an instinctual behavior programmed into every species, the primal urge to procreate, so clearly that it can override normal thoughts. It’s the reason that we can’t always help checking out an attractive person we see on the street. It’s the pure, unadulterated expression of the Id, and it has to be healthy on some level. I think we can all agree (or at least respect the viewpoint) that crushing sexual repression is a far worse thing than a wandering eye. But what happens when that urge is responded to with the firehose blast of porn? And what happens when the world of porn collides with that of real sex? It seems to me that pornography has become such an immense and self-contained entity that it bears little resemblance to the sex that you or I might be having. And for every real encounter that fails to live up to the porn standard, the schism grows greater and the individual becomes more and more disillusioned with their actual sex life, and substitutes that deficit with, you guessed it, more porn. Obviously, I’m not a scientist, and these ideas are just conjecture on my part. But as the first generation of males who spent at least part of their formative sexual years in the age of the internet, I imagine it’s something we’ll continue to see occur. And then I’ll point to this article and say “See? I told you.” Or, if I’m completely wrong and endless streaming porn is just fine, then we can just forget about this article and get back to watching people bone.
OPINIONS
PUT THIS IN YOUR PIPE AND READ IT WHY SMOKING OUT OF A PIPE IS FAR SUPERIOR TO CIGARETTES MICHAEL MERMELSTEIN
Illustration
I’ll be the first to defend cigarettes, whether from government ban’s on cloves, or the misguided millions who just hate the smell. However when it comes to tobacco nothing beats smoking a pipe. Like most things in my life, pipe smoking began as a joke, but when my friends got me a pipe and some good tobacco for my birthday I began to get serious. So in hopes to provide information and incentives to those. Pipesmoke curious I will enumerate the finest qualities surrounding pipe lore. (Number one? Sophistication.) Seriously though pipe smoking is as much a hobby as it is a nicotine fix. There is so much to learn about, from tobacco blends to pipe maintenance techniques. Besides smoking simply for a fix is completely impractical, as getting a bowl started can take longer JAMIE KARSON than smoking an entire cigarette.
The most compelling reason to take up pipe smoking, is that it costs a lot less than cigarettes, a pouch of 2 ounces of high quality tobacco will usually cost you about $6 and can last a month, easily. I have been smoking more than I ever had with cigarettes and still got 3 months out of two 2-ounce blends. The smaller price also encourages experimentation with different tastes and blends. The important thing to keep in mind though is that there are three major types of pipe tobacco, English, Virginian, and Aromatic and it is important to keep these types separated, if you are hardcore you can get a pipe for each blend, but I recommend finding a type and sticking with it. If you feel the urge to test the waters, get a corn cob pipe, which usually run $5 and see how you like the new style.You can always clean out your pipe and start anew if you find you prefer one type to another.
Tobacconists are generally really friendly people and will often let you sample different blends before you make your purchase. On the topic of price and friendliness, many online communities such as Freecycle and Craigslist will routinely have listings for free pipes, so it is always easy to get started Once you switch to pipes, it can completely change your perception of a smoke break. Cigarette breaks have always felt like a guilty pleasure, more of a chore than a luxury, but pipe smoking is a much longer, leisurely process, in which the goal isn’t gratification, but total satisfaction. I hope I have piqued your interest in the finer side of tobacco, and hope to continue to provide any tips I receive on this our nations founding crop.
UNION WEEKLY
28 SEPTEMBER 2009
WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO THE COMICS OF TOMORROW? THE LiFE, DEATH, AND REBiRTH OF THE AMERiCAN COMiC BOOK
somewhere on the csulb campus...
Back in the ’50s,
MIKE PALLOTTA
an evil psychiatrist by the name of Dr. Fredric Wertham almost killed comic books. Wertham deduced, from his own skewed line of thinking, that juvenile delinquency was directly related to comic books, since most kids in juvie at the time said they only read comics. Wertham took his studies and wrote a novel called Seduction of the Innocent (1954), which was a direct attack on comics, going so far as to call Batman a homosexual pedophile for having a boy sidekick (instead of a foster parent who just makes poor decisions). Congress took notice of Wertham’s work and an investigation into the comic industry ensued, bringing writers, artists and publishers alike in front of a panel of government officials to defend their creativity and the effect it was having on the youth of America. What resulted was a complete shift in the industry and what was produced for the next 20-30 years. The Comics Code Authority was enacted, limiting creators in what they were allowed to do.
These sorts of shifts in the industry happen. The Comics Code not only limited what comics could be, but also confined them to kid-friendly content. If there’s a code of conduct created with adolescent readers in mind as the target audience, then the product is going to continuously be created solely for that audience. However, in the late ’70s and ’80s, with most comic readers having come of age and the majority of creators tired of writing the same good guy vs. bad guy story, a revolution in the possibilities of the medium began.
Guys like Alan Moore and Frank Miller injected adult concepts back into comics, simultaneously widening their audience and allowing for stories that had more substance and were less disposable. At the same time, an old pro by the name of Will Eisner (creator of The Spirit--don’t judge the character by the movie) decided to go off and make a memoir set in his hometown of Brooklyn the only way he knew how: in panels. Eisner put faces to his neighborhood. He lit the streets and put cracks in the buildings, and he did it all in one complete book--culminating in the first “graphic novel.” The difference between graphic novels and comic books? They’re interchangeable really, but graphic novels are books with a story that have a beginning and an end, whereas a comic book is more like a TV episode where you’re only getting one installment of a larger story.
Comics then gained the possibility to showcase stories with real human emotion and humor. These slice-oflife stories were, and still are, an escape from the masks and tights that dominate the medium. The industry has come into its own. Walk into a comic shop nowadays, and you’ll find books ranging from American Splendor’s slice-of-life stories that I was just talking about (also check out anything by Adrian Tomine, Craig Thompson, Daniel Clowes, and Jeffrey Brown)
Illustrations
CHRIS FABELA
to zombies books (The Walking Dead by Robert Kirkman) to hard-boiled
6
pulp books (Criminal by Ed Brubaker) to books that have everything in between (The Goon by Eric Powell). Most books put out by DC or Marvel feature established characters that have been around for decades--like Superman or Captain America. If a creator wants to work for one of these companies (the only two If you look at the hundreds of comics lining the shelves
that actually provide enough pay to make somewhat of a living),
in any given shop, you’ll notice that the industry is still dominated by
they have to write stories using these established characters, and
superheroes. But that’s just part of the problem; most of these super-
their work has to be approved by editors, thus hindering the creative
hero books are just coming out from the two biggest publishers--DC and
process exponentially. Creators will then turn to smaller pub-
Marvel. And with Marvel’s recent acquisition by Disney, they’re only
lishing companies to print the books that they want to write,
going to grow in the market.
but these companies can’t afford to print the books that Marvel or DC wouldn’t and eventually fold altogether.
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28 SEPTEMBER 2009
This, of course, limits the quality and quantity of comics coming out, since only a handful of companies are hav-
In the
ing a say as to what ends up on your comic shop’s shelves. This
past few years, creators have finally been
means less American Splendor and more Superman.
fighting against the big companies to gain the rights over characters they created, and they’re winning.
Basically, the economy is doing to comics what Dr. Wertham did in the ’50s. Hopefully, the industry will manage to do well
In true
enough to not have to rely solely on selling superhero books or books that cater to the lowest common denominator-WWE and Blue Collar Comedy Tour fans.
comic book fashion, the underdog estates of Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster (the creators of Superman) took corporate giant Time Warner (owner of DC comics) to court over the rights to the character that these two pioneers created over 70 years ago.
Siegel and Shuster initially signed
The good news? Siegel and Shuster’s families’ re-
a 10-year-contract with DC (then National
cent legal battle with Time Warner broke new ground with the
Comics) upon the release of Action Comics #1
families regaining many of the rights to Superman--a pop culture
(the first appearance of Superman). But when the
icon that has made billions for Time Warner. The rights revert back to
contract was up in the mid-’40s, both Siegel and
the estates in 2013--leaving the licensing of Superman up to their
Shuster realized they weren’t in control of the
discretion. The heirs can decide whether Superman will be
character anymore and unsuccessfully
public domain or if he’ll stay at DC.
sued for the rights.
DC was also allowed to retain all the profits from the usage of Superman for themselves. This devastated the two, and
DC isn’t the only compa-
they weren’t the only ones this happened
ny to completely screw over
to. Bill Finger, co-creator/writer of Batman,
their creators either. Marvel went
had the same thing happen to him, whereas his
years without paying artist Jack Kirby
partner Bob Kane (the original artist of Bat-
(co-creator of the Fantastic Four,
man) raked in all the profits. Finger, Siegel,
Captain America, Hulk, the X-men, etc.) his
and Shuster all went on to lead lives doing
just deserves and now his estate is su-
menial jobs, living in squalor, and--in Fin-
ing Marvel for many of the rights to his
ger’s case--wasting away on a bar stool.
creations--many of which have gone
Siegel and Shuster sued Time Warner
on to make Marvel millions when
multiple times to no avail over the
adapted for the big screen.
course of their lives.
With comics being scanned onto the Internet (legally and illegally), comics created specifically for the While aging creators and the estates
internet (Penny Arcade and Zuda), and the availability of graphic novels at places other than comic shops (Barnes & Noble), read-
of creators are fighting to regain rights to their characters, current comic professionals are making sure to work with companies that’ll let them print their books and keep the rights to their stories. Robert Kirkman, current writer and creator of such titles as Invincible and The Walking Dead, went to Image Comics to publish his titles. Image is a company that lets their writers and artists keep the rights to any properties that are published through them. This not only gives writers/artists possible financial success with their creations, but also complete quality control over their books. Kirkman and others like him are part of the solution.
ership is higher than ever. However, less and less money is going into the industry, since people aren’t buying these books.
Consumers are now just downloading or browsing and not purchasing. Reading comics online is fine, but it doesn’t compare to holding the product in your hand. So make a trip to your local comic shop (or Barnes & Noble, if you’re too scared) and browse.
If you need to judge books by their covers, then do it. That’s why they make those covers so fancy. If you need to ask the clerk for suggestions, then do it (but if they’re weird, don’t let it deter you). Just pick up some books and see what you like. If you like superhero movies, then start with some superhero books. If you like documentaries, then start with some memoir graphic novels. And if you like good television, then start with Y: The Last Man. From there you can begin to follow writers/artists who you like, and know which writers/artists to ignore. But the important thing to do is to start.
UNION WEEKLY
28 SEPTEMBER 2009
7
CULTURE
portrait of the artist charles addams
toorak bakery and cafe gourmet coffee for the soul
words and photo
A
longside Long Beach landmark Deli News, a new cafe finds a home. And not just any cafe, mind you, but a modern-style art deco refuge for every espresso-loving college student. Toorak, a name inspired by the most lavish suburb in Melbourne, Australia, is owned by Mikael and Angele Hashoul, hailing from down under with the passion to celebrate a coffee experience unlike any other. I sat down in delight after meeting Mikael, a hardworking entrepeneur with a simple philosophy for his business: to have a drink and relax. There were no marketing schemes and no big talk about making a lot of profit, instead he replaced the typical attitude of corporate greed with a welcoming cup of gourmet coffee and a genuine moment of customer appreciation. Frankly, I was a bit surprised. It’s been along time since I’ve walked into a cafe and a barista actually looked me in the eyes when saying, “How are you?” With a full CSULB student staff, Hashoul makes sure both his workers and customers are engaging in an authentic sense of community, because after all, that’s what truly matters when creating a successful business. Toorak Cafe holds a true desire for establishing a place among the community. As Hashoul told me in confidence, Toorak is an identity. Everything from the color scheme, the fresh food, the custom Australian-inspired décor, designed by Mikael’s wife, Angele, and the overall ambiance, Toorak Cafe was built to be a cafe you recognize, a cafe where you can call yourself a regular. And with free wi-fi, a variety of UNION WEEKLY
28 SEPTEMBER 2009
kathy miranda
places to sit and interact with friends, why wouldn’t you want to stay? Now, for the good stuff: the coffee. I’ve had gourmet coffee before, but never like this—and by that I mean never in the States. Taking a lesson from their European neighbors, Toorak has adopted the same aura of the cafes in Europe—that includes a preference for a mean cup of joe. All made from the same imported Australian bean, Toorak offers a sweeter selection of coffee that beats any Starbucks or Coffee Bean shot anyday. And to pair: freshly baked gourmet pastries made by Toorak’s own personal pastry chef, with 5 years of experience in the five star hotel business. Everything made in the Toorak bakery, from the raspberry creme to freshly baked croissants, the deli sandwiches and the light salads, is prepared that morning for the day’s consumption. I’m talking real whipped cream, the kind of guilty pleasure decadence I only wish I could make at home. I couldn’t avert my eyes—everything looked so pretty and sugary! Believe it or not, I ended up staying at Toorak Cafe for two hours, talking to Mikael, enjoying the music and roomy space, taking a few moments to myself to enjoy a good cup of coffee and letting myself wind down, if only for just a few hours. That’s what makes having a cup coffee worthwhile at Toorak Cafe: the goal isn’t to get your coffee and leave, it’s to get your coffee and remind yourself that you deserve a little bit of “me” time. And if you ask me, that’s enough to keep me coming back every day.
Charles Addams is a spectacular weirdo, the kind of weirdo we should all try and emulate. Besides being an accomplished cartoonist, he also collected antique crossbows, used a little girl’s tombstone as a coffee table, and would conduct interviews with journalists while wearing a full suit of armor. While the majority of his antics were more than likely a persona he used to impress the public and whatever journalist that happened to be interviewing him, his bizarre aura made perfect sense since he is the guy who came up with the Addams Family. Besides spawning two live action series, a cartoon show, and two feature films, the Addams Family were featured in single panel cartoons that Charles drew for The New Yorker. His cartoons weren’t all of the family, the rest were one-shot jokes that looked not unlike a version of The Far Side written by Edgar Allen Poe. Addams’ art is also featured on the cover of Ray Bradbury’s 2001 short story collection From The Dust Returned, a novel which features any equally strange, gothic family called the Elliots (the two men previously worked together, but eventually went their separate ways). Unfortunately, most of his work seems to be in various phases of being out of print. I can’t imagine having a childhood without pawing through books filled with his drawings. Then again, my dad did buy the house we live in because it looked like the Addams Family manor. What might be the most interesting aspect of the comics is that they’re a looking glass into the past. The ‘40s and ‘50s is a time we usually associate with conservatism, xenophobia, and generally being no fun at all, but Charles Addams stands against this stereotype. He shows us that the past that was just as interested in bare breasts, shrunken heads, suicide, and psychopathic children as we are. Or at least I am. If you’re a fan of cartoon art, laughter (and who isn’t? Jerks, probably), or if you want some sort of indie-goth credibility, the collections of his work are well worth hunting down. Charles Addams is an artist everyone should know about, because he’s the kind of weirdo we could all learn something from. JAMES KISLINGBURY
SPORTS MEET CSULB’S HOTTEST ATHLETES SIMONE HARRISON
REC TOM IPIEN BR T OF AD Y A THE WA RD
RICKY MONTANEZ
KEVIN MUNDIA JACOB AINSWORTH SPORT: Cross Country HOTNESS LEVEL: 9.5 Jacob wins the prestigous title of CSULB’s hottest athlete and be assured that I looked at every single player’s picture. The two most important things you need to know about Jacob are (a) that he’s a runner so he has better legs than Heidi Klum, and (b) that he can run for miles, if you know what I mean. He looks like the kind of man that doesn’t just give you what you want, but he can give you what you need. The jury’s out on whether or not he’s a nice person, but to be honest I don’t really care. He could treat me any way he wanted and I could sleep well knowing that he has a rockin’ runner’s bod. Ladies, he’s a senior this year, so you better catch him fast before he leaves CSULB’s grounds. I actually don’t know whether he is taken or not, so I would check first.
SPORT: Water Polo HOTNESS LEVEL: 8
SPORT: Golf HOTNESS LEVEL: 7.8
I’ve always had a thing for water polo players, but Kevin puts most of them to shame. He looks like he’s kind of an asshole, which isn’t bad, it just means that he could probably keep any woman in check. It looks like he’s the kind of guy that would beat up a burly guy with a shaved head at a bar just because he looked in your direction and that’s sexy. Plus, with all that water treading he does he probably has legs of steel. Kevin was picked because he most likely spends the majority of his time in a speedo and has his entire body shaved clean like a pre-pubescent boy, and that’s so in.
Ricky has that boy-next-door look. He looks like the kind of guy that you could bring home to Mom, but you’d still be leary that your mom might fall in love with those bedroom eyes. He’s definitely the most humble looking of the three which could maybe lead you to believe you have the greatest chance with Ricky. Not because he’s not attractive, but because he probably doesn’t know how attractive he is yet. As a bonus: everyone knows that all golf players go on to become wealthy, which makes him even more of a catch. He’ll get into his 40s and be able to retire, so he can spend lavish amounts of money on you.
NFL 2009’S HOTTEST ROUNDUP WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THIS SEXY SEASON MICHAEL MERMELSTEIN Three weeks into the season and the major narratives of the NFL have begun to coalesce. To get things out of the way, the lions are not going to “turn it around” this season. However, across the league intrigue abounds. Of course the Steelers and Patriots have made the AFC the dominant conference this decade, but the NFC has some true contenders in the Giants to make things interesting. To get a full view of the season ahead, we will explore the contenders and pretenders from each conference starting with the AFC. My Pittsburgh Steelers ended up winning it all last season, but off-season drama involving Ben Rothlesberger and an early season injury to defensive leader/probable wild animal Troy Polamalu leave this year’s UNION WEEKLY
AFC Super Bowl slot up in the air. While I remain committed to a Steelers repeat, the elephant in the room is the return of this century’s golden boy, Tom Brady. His reinsertion into the Patriots roster makes them odds on favorite to win it all. Okay, so both of those teams aren’t really interesting. How about the Jets playing with more intensity and integrity now that Favre is gone? Nobody saw that one coming, and yet so far they have been the media darlings of this young season. Speaking of darlings, common knowledge seems to dictate that the Jaguars or the Titans are the team to beat in the AFC South, two contenders who, aside from the Titans’ role last season, haven’t even been favored in their own division. All this aside, I still believe the Colts will trudge
28 SEPTEMBER 2009
on without Tony Dungy and make some noise come January. As per usual the AFC West will be left undiscussed until the Broncos prove they are for real. A huge surprise on the road to last year’s miracle Steelers/Cardinals Super Bowl was the second coming of Kurt Warner, who elevated the Cardinals from NFC West chumps to true contenders. This year the old man returns with nearly the same low expectations he faced last year, but as comforting as that might sound to Cardinals fans, they finally may face a true challenge in their own conference. The 49ers have carried over the momentum they gained last season. If the 49ers can settle disputes with rookie receiving prodigy, Michael Crabtree, they could make life difficult for the defending NFC champs.
Elsewhere, the Eastern division retains its reputation as the toughest division in football, with the Giants, Eagles and Cowboys each gunning for a playoff spot, and in all likelihood a wild card spot, as well. Finally, the blood feud between the Packers and Brett Favre heats up as Favre has moved in to the NFC North and, to add insult to injury, signed with the Pack’s hated rival, the Minnesota Vikings. The season is still very young and nearly every team still has a lot to prove, but more than any year in recent memory, this season has some fascinating things to see. Whether it’s your favorite team, the evolution or decline of the Wildcat, or the return of Michael Vick and Tom Brady, every game will be worth checking out.
ENTERTAINMENT
CINECULT
THIS WEEK: THE THIN RED LINE (1998)
I
JAMES KISLINGBURY
f you’ve never heard the name “Terrence Malick” before, there’s probably a good reason. In the past forty years, directors like Clint Eastwood and Francis Ford Coppola, have been involved in dozens of movies, while Malick has only directed a grand total of four. Despite this, among critics and terminal film nerds (like myself), he’s regarded as one of the great auteurs of the era. His films Badlands (1973) and Days of Heaven (1978) are regarded as some of the best films ever made. Considering this pedigree, if you watch The Thin Red Line, it shouldn’t be hard to understand why he’s so well respected despite his slow gestation time. The Thin Red Line, despite being nominated for Best Picture by the Academy Awarads, has since fallen by the way side. There’s some pretty good reasons for this. First off, this slow-paced, but elegant war film had the misfortune of coming out the same year as one of the biggest action movies of all time: Steven Spielberg’s Saving Private Ryan. Secondly, and probably more importantly, it’s a sprawling, self-indulgent mess. It’s often plodding and it’s covered in scars from being cut and re-cut (and despite this it’s still
probably too long). It also doesn’t have one main character—or even a handful of main characters—that the audience can hold on to. The James Jones novel that the movie is based off of has the same massive cast of characters, but at least the book gives names to the people in it. Roger Ebert describes the movie as “hallucinatory” and that’s about as good of a one word summation of this film as there could be. As we should all know, hallucinations aren’t for everybody. Despite the rough spots in the movie, there’s still plenty of beauty to be gleaned from this film. The Thin Red Line follows one of the bloodiest battles in American history, which takes place on the South Pacific island of Guadalcanal. Malick pays just as much attention to the horrors of war as he does the beauty that these battles take place in, and that alone makes this movie an interesting anomaly in the genre. The dialogue is also fairly wonderful. Admittedly, most of it has no place in a war film (Would a character being shot at really consider the morality of nature? Probably not.), but it can’t be denied that, in and of itself, the writing is beautiful. That’s what most of the
film is like and that’s what makes me love it so much. It isn’t quite a visceral war film and it isn’t quite a poem. It doesn’t do either of these things perfectly, but the failure that results is probably more interesting than most movies.
The Thin Red Line isn’t all poetry, though. The action scenes are among the best I’ve ever seen. Unlike the rest of the film, which moves with the swiftness of a dream, the action scenes are as tightly plotted and assembled. Combat has a frightening weight that few other movies ever seem to execute. Part of this is because the Japanese aren’t just enemy soldiers, they’re ghosts. They slink out of the forest without a sound, kill something and leave just as quietly. In Saving Private Ryan, the Germans were something we could understand, they were in tanks or behind machine guns. In this case, the enemy is a mystery. How are these men supposed to defeat the enemy if he’s nothing more than a muzzle flash 200 yards away? The Thin Red Line isn’t for everyone. As I’ve said, it isn’t perfect and it’s probably one of the spottiest movies that I would ever consider “great.” But in between the rough spots are some truly beautiful pieces of filmmaking. If only for these sparse, quiet moments Malick’s movie is worth giving a shot. Plus, the loud ones are pretty goddamn good, too.
WELCOME TO THE DOLLHOUSE IT LOOKS LIKE THE FOX NETWORK FINALLY MADE ONE GOOD DECISION SEAN BOULGER
Ah, Joss Whedon, you just love to walk that line, don’t you? You and JJ Abrams— your counterpart in mindfuck television television—just can’t help but tease the brains of your audience, tantalizing us with story elements that don’t seem to make sense (yet) and characters whose motives are unclear
(for now). And hey! If your next series happens to make it past season one, perhaps we’ll get some answers out here in the audience (maybe). Okay, okay. . . Whedon gets a bad rap for having cancelled shows because he got lumped in with the gaggle of programs Fox has decided to cancel and because Dollhouse already teetered on the edge of oblivion at the end of its very first season. The beginning of season two, however, is showing us that Whedon might have finally given us a show we can really sink our teeth into. In keeping with Whedon’s well-known tendency for starting slow, the first season of Dollhouse crawled a bit before giving us a show-stopping sixth episode. You know, the kind that makes you sit back and go, “All right. Now we’ve got us a show.” From there, it was a whirlwind of awesome mythology,
cool concepts, and a guest appearance from Patton Oswalt. Of course, it sounds like the formula for a program beloved by audiences and critics alike, but there was certainly a point at which Whedon and the show’s lead Eliza Dushku exchanged nervous glances over the future of Dollhouse.Fox, however, decided they liked where the show was going and have renewed it for a second season. By now, you may have noticed that this review so far has been pointedly dodging the subject of season two’s premiere episode. This is to avoid any potential spoilers—season one ended with quite a few questions, and the new developments are as interesting as a fan might suspect them to be. We haven’t gotten any new characters yet, and at this point, Alan Tudyk has been (thankfully) missing since the first season. We get re-introduced to everyone from Victor to Whis-
key, whose characters have been expanded in a way that is part of the reason I love the show as much as I do. I guess the best way to describe the second season’s premiere is to say that I’m very glad the show wasn’t canceled. I’m glad I’ve got sharp Whedon dialogue to look forward to every week, and I’m glad to see the relationship between Amy Acker’s character (who is sadly leaving the show this season) and Fran Kranz’s Topher, who is easily my favorite part of the entire show. There are a lot of reasons that I’m glad Dollhouse is still around, and the first episode of season two has contributed heavily to these reasons. I’ll be watching until the show ends or gets canceled, God forbid. . . but at this point (and I’m almost afraid to even put this in print), it seems like Fox has made the right decision.
UNION WEEKLY
28 SEPTEMBER 2009
MUSIC
HEADS HAVE ROLLED A YACHT/YEAH YEAH YEAHS SHOW REVIEW BRIAN NEWHARD
O
n a warm Tuesday evening, a deceptively long, Disneylandlike line formed outside the Fox Theater Pomona. The attraction? The promise of another well-storied Yeah Yeah Yeahs live performance. As soon as the doors opened, the crowd hurriedly filed in and began their hourand-a-half wait for the main event. In the interim, opening band YACHT took the stage. YACHT had an elaborately decorated stage for a warm-up act. On either side were creepy, semi-religious motivational posters emblazoned with their logo (a Scientology-esque anchor surrounded by cultish repeating triangles) and phrases such as “Don’t fight the darkness. Find the light and the darkness will disappear!” And placed in the middle of the stage, a small movie screen where they projected strange, repetitive videos which were either meant to accompany each of their songs or brainwash the audience. It’s my conclusion that YACHT is a dangerous, two-person cult armed with nothing but esoteric dance grooves and their own exuberance. Their music fills the electro-pop middle ground between The Kills and The Knife. Lead singer Jona Bechtolt had the dress and mannerisms of a street preacher. With exaggerated arm movements and an all-white suit, Bechtolt harangued the crowd over the staccato blips emitting from his sampler. The other vocalist, Claire L. Evans, looking quite statuesque in all black, howled background vocals on most of the tracks and sang lead for some of the catchier numbers, including “Waste of Time.” Despite their inherent creepiness, YACHT had a very endearing stage presence. At every moment in their set they looked simply enthused to be performing, a great attribute for any up-and-coming band. After a wait that seemed like an eternity, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs casually walked to their instruments one by one. To add to the anticipation, Karen O sang half of the opening song “Shake It” from offstage, only emerging at the
UNION WEEKLY
Illustration
climax of the song. From then on, it was a no-holds-barred aural assault. Every song, fast and slow alike, was executed with a feverish urgency and was treated as an event unto itself. Case in point: during key moments of “Heads Will Roll,” Karen O shot off tiny cannons filled with red confetti shaped like the letter ‘Y.’ And In nearly a third of the songs, she sprayed water from her mouth, WWE-style, either onto the crowd or vertically, like a human volcano. Drummer Brian Chase’s syncopated drumming style, as heard on the Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ albums, was slightly curtailed live in order to maintain a steady backbeat. This proved to be a necessity, given that Nick Zinner’s enigmatic guitar style often sends him spastically shooting for notes all across the neck, tempo be damned. That isn’t to suggest that the performance was sloppy. Nonetheless, it’s clear that this band doesn’t mind careening through a few rhythmic speed-bumps on their way to ecstatic musical anarchy. For their current tour, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs enlisted Long Beach native Jessica Dobson, from Deep Sea Diver (featured in Union Weekly issue 64.06), as their multi-instrumentalist. Depending on the song, Dobson would pick up
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RACHEL RUFRANO
either an acoustic guitar (“Gold Lion”), a keyboard (“Zero”), or a bass guitar (“Dull Life”). Although Dobson’s corner of the stage was usually kept dark, her presence could definitely be felt when the Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ sparse arrangement needed some extra oomph. More of the evenings’ selections came from their newest release, It’s Blitz!, than any of their other albums. However, the highlights of the night came from their earlier albums. Two dynamic rockers off Show Your Bones, “Honeybear” and “Cheated Hearts” got the best performances out of any song in their set. And the raunchy chant of “Black Tongue” and the throbbing fury of “Date With the Night,” both from Fever to Tell, received the most animated crowd reaction. The band finished off the night with a quick three-song encore including a pensive acoustic version of “Maps” and an abrupt rendition of “Tick.” Personally, I wished they had played longer; their set looked over great songs like “Phenomena” and “Pin.” But their rushed approach to the set list made me forget how long they had actually been on stage. By and large, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs put on a superb concert that gave the audience almost everything it could want.
At a party a few months ago I claimed to have never gone through a punk phase. People looked at me as if I said I was born with webbed feet. I felt as if I had missed out on some necessary rite of passage. I realized then that the journey of discovering your identity involved taking on the identity of somebody else. Specifically, someone your parents would be unhappy with. I think that’s what confused me most about the notoriously youth-embodied “punk phase”: whose parents would be unhappy with their daughter or son shopping at Hot Topic or fastening bits of their clothes with safety pins these days? People have been doing it for more than twenty years and it’s anything but controversial. Most 16-year-olds didn’t know this, I guess. I thought, Don’t they know there’s a group of them in every high school? That music doesn’t piss anyone off anymore. If they wanted to push some buttons they would have to push the envelope musically—and The Clash and Elvis Costello already did that twenty years ago. The kids in the plaid bondage pants weren’t any different in my eyes than the ones under the tree at lunch painting hearts on each other’s faces and listening to Led Zeppelin and The Doors. I thought it trivialized the genius of the music they thought they were glorifying. The truth is I didn’t grow up in Reagan’s white-collartrickle-down era, so I could never be an American punk. Sure, I could hear the music and sympathize, love it, and relate on some level, but that’s not the calling of my generation. I can justify why I was never a punk, but that doesn’t change the twinge of envy I feel when someone tells me they went through a punk phase. I wish I could see Henry Rollins as more than just a music nerd, but I can’t. It’s not in me—I have a problem with authority, I don’t like the system, I have doubts about my future, and I’m about as disapproving of society as Larry David and yet I can’t get on board with “Kill the Poor.” The last thing I want when I’m at a concert is for someone to elbow me in the ribs in a mosh pit. Also, I can’t understand lyrics when someone is screaming them in my ear. The Ramones? Okay, yes. The Sex Pistols? Also on my iTunes library. Iggy Pop? Of course. But Hardcore punk—Bad Brains, Black Flag, Minor Threat? I’ve just never liked it. I’m almost 22, and I’ve considered a selfinduced punk phase, but every time I try, it just doesn’t make sense. I suppose you’re either a punk or you’re not, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Anyone else who’s trying to be something they’re not is missing the point completely. Because if you ever really were a punk in 9th grade, you’d be a punk now, too. And if that’s not the case, it was never the music—it was the hormones.
The Blueprint is sort of rap’s USDA Prime Choice, a seal of quality that enthusiasts can theoretically always count on. With the first two entries into the Blueprint series, Jay-Z cemented his legacy as one of rap’s enduring legends. Understandably the announcement of a third attempt at the BP series got everybody buzzing. Unfortunately, Jigga’s latest release is closer to his more recent post-comeback work than his celebrated “5 Mic” efforts. Sure, “Run This Town” is a great single, and Drake and Young Jeezy provide some stand-out tracks, and Kanye did an excellent job on the tracks he produced, but the bad far outweighs the good. The largest missteps come from “On To the Next One,” an ADD addled track with a hyper aggressive Justice sample, and the closing track, “Young Forever,” that is built on Alphaville’s “Forever Young.” Like The Godfather, The Blueprint should always be remembered as having only one sequel. -Michael Mermelstein Health Get Color [Lovepump 2009]
United;
Los Angeles legends Health have always split the difference between club-ready disco and Japanese-influenced noise. Coming fresh off a remix album tying them closer to the electro crowd, Health returns with an album that reestablishes their noisier credentials. Get Color opens with “In Heat,” a short burst of blistering drums, blaring electronics, muted vocals and underneath all that heaviness, a sugary guitar riff. “Die Slow” is every bit the perfect dance party song and yet the softness of the vocals and crunch of the drums suggest something implacable and strange. Health’s strengths come from the uneasy dynamics between vocalist Jake Duzik and Benjamin Jared Miller, the band’s mountain man of a drummer. BJ keeps songs like “Death +” thundering along while Jake adds a sense of mystery to the music that makes Health so compelling. Get Color’s stand out track is “We Are Water,” a careening song that rushes towards its beautiful, slow jam ending. In between the first note and the cool down is a dance floor anthem that will undoubtedly launch a thousand remixes. Though Health might be better known for other artists’ reinterpretations of their
music, on Get Color they cement their own identity as an essential LA band. - Michael Mermelstein Bowerbirds Upper Air [Dead Oceans; 2009]
I loved this album when I first heard it. The first three tracks are nothing but ten minutes of drifty folk rhythms and endearing lyrics about the passing of time, about running free in the sun; that kind of hippie uplifting, I’m-wearing-no-bra-under-this-white-dress feeling. Bowerbirds, your garden variety boyfriendgirlfriend folk duo, combines familiar (still refreshing, mind you) acoustic harmonies with lyrics like, “O, resilient light/you are strong and sure without me/ you are boldly dismantling,” and all of sudden you’re some kind of spiritual follower. You experience it like the only good band you saw at the Open Mic, a sound untainted by overproduction and intimidating compositions—maybe you have a crush on the girl, too—and you are, at least on first listen, impressed by the airy seduction of these otherwise tired indie-folk arrangements. Upper Air is happy in that youthful harmony sense, but like all the dreamy reveries you have of running across the field to your lover, the slow-mo sprint ends eventually and then you’re just left with ten nostalgic love songs about college, the Earth, and what it felt like to be young. - Kathy Miranda Basement Jaxx Scars [XL Recordings; 2009]
Electronic music has a fairly well-deserved reputation for being relatively uniform in structure, rhythm, and purpose: it goes thump-thump-thump so the kids keep dancing. Even the idea of an “electronic show” has its own sad cliché: one or two DJs staring feverishly into a couple of strange machines for a minimum of one hour. In this respect, Basement Jaxx are the anti-DJs: their music makes strange, sometimes risky decisions to keep each song element distinct and their live show includes half an army’s worth of different musicians on stage. Scars continues this legacy quite adroitly, packing each song with surprises, guest appearances, and a heretofore unnamed quality I shall dub “dance-tasy.” The guests appearing on the album include the magnificent Santigold, Kelis, Lightspeed
Champion, Paloma Faith, and Basement Jaxx veteran guest Lisa Kekaula (from Kish Kash’s best single “Good Luck”). This is quite apparently the best dance album of the year thus far. - Matt Dupree fun. Aim & Ignite [Nettwerk; 2009]
MUSIC
album reviews
Jay-Z The Blueprint 3 [Atlantic / Roc Nation; 2009]
After indie-pop duo The Format collapsed in 2008, Nate Ruess continued on with his work in music and formed fun., whose uniquely punctuated name is currently blowing the mind of my computer. Their debut album, Aim and Ignite is brimming with bubbly melodies and beautiful chord progressions, all complemented with Ruess’ tasteful ear for harmonies. The album makes use of an orchestra, many session musicians, even a gospel choir—yet it never sounds bloated. The mixing on this album is near-perfect, with every voice and instrument standing out when they need to, leaving the listener feeling well-taken care of, and not overwhelmed by noise. Between the scatterbrained intro of “Be Calm” to the final roaring guitar solo of “Take Your Time (Coming Home),” you’ll find a pleasantly powerful pop album and a (musically) great way to end the decade. - Aaron Kosaka Islands Vapours [Anti- ; 2009]
Taking from doo wop and Motown, there is a variety to the new album that isn’t found in most indie bands today. Many of the songs are heavily based in electronica and still incorporate interesting guitar riffs and complex harmonies. With driving drum beats in almost the entirety of the album, there is some definite booty shaking potential here. The title song “Vapours” is a song to download immediately and turn up as loud as you can in your car. The song is catchy, interesting, and has heart-melting lyrics. Almost every song on the album is good, with maybe one or two exceptions, which is exceedingly rare. It’s hard to place Islands into any genre because they take from so many different kinds of music, so it is accessible to people on a wide spectrum, which is exactly what music needs today. - Simone Harrison
UNION WEEKLY
28 SEPTEMBER 2009
CREATIVE ARTS
UNION WEEKLY
28 SEPTEMBER 2009
Art
VICTOR CAMBA
COMICS
Operation Panda World Domination by Fox & Truffles
jasminegagnier@yahoo.com
EASY
MEDIUM
Garage Sketchbook by elisa
Crayon Box by Faulkzilla
http://elisa-tanaka-garage.blogspot.com/
www.faulkzilla.com
Creative Arts Illo = No YSH Send feedback to: victorpc.union@gmail.com Or leave comments at the Union office Student Union Office 239
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28 SEPTEMBER 2009
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This page is satire. We are not ASI, nor do we represent the CSULB campus. California Dreamin’! Send rags to bear.grun@gmail.com
“Why did he touch you on the vagina?”
Volume 65 Issue 5
Monday, September 28th, 2009
Iraq War Least-Popular National Pastime
Marines (above) put on their game face and prepare to “bring the pain” to the terrorists.
BY STATLER WALDORF ROOSEVELT JR. In a recent poll of Washington D.C. area residents, the Iraq War was ranked as the least-popular national pastime. The Iraq War now joins former least-popular pastimes such as the hundred-meter dash and brick sex (???). Area resident Kathy Miller said some bullshit about this new statistic: “I have to agree with the poll, war really isn’t a favorable pastime. Wait, who conducted this thing? I don’t understand the question. Hey, come back! You have my purse.” Miller is just not a very smart person and should not stick her nose where it doesn’t belong. Who only carries two dollars in cash anyway? Chumps.
Out of the 1,000 residents polled, 98 percent of them agreed that war was a far less enjoyable pastime than “kitten.” “Truly shocking information,” said a slip of paper inside Miller’s purse probably. In response to the poll, Sgt. Kensi of the United States Marine Corps attempted to explain America’s loss of interest in her oldest, and least agreeable national pastime, “Oorah!” he shouted as he shot a baseball with a gun, “Use this in your article, it’s symbolism you limp dick pencil pushing fuckers!” After being calmed down, Sgt. Kensi relayed a few statistics, “Okay, look—this year we racked ’em up! Let’s just say it was a mas-
sacre. I’m winking,” added Kensi, who appears to have some sort of eye spasm. More updates on that as they occur. Lieutenant Morton, a bonafide Marine guy, had to step in and inform us that wearing camo shorts does not make an individual qualified as a spokesperson of the Marine Corps. He began to explain the real reasons behind the Iraq War plummet to the bottom of the poll, “Well, let’s break it down, in the past year we have had several hundred American deaths, and several thousand devastating losses…of limbs. In comparison, in America’s most popular pastime, baseball, there were no deaths or dismemberments. Oorah.” For the time being this is the official position of the Marine Corps. However, other sources that wish to remain anonymous attribute the failing popularity of war to diet sodas, bagel sandwiches, and boxer-brief underpants. It’s not me. I’m not the source. No word on what the United States will do to strengthen the popularity the war is lacking. Some speculate that a huge cool marketing campaign is on the way, which means more cool guns and laser-guided predatory bird robots and no baseballs forever.
LBUNION.COM
Rotten Tomatoes Refuses to Include Area Man’s Blog Reviews BY SEXUAL RANDY LOS ANGELES, CA – Editors of seriously? Fucking Sahara? Fuck movie website Rotten Tomatoes that guy. I mean, we even include have sent yet another letter of re- review from that fat asshole from fusal to area man Derek Polnam- Ain’t it Cool News. What we do is ski, informing him, yet again, that barely considered journalism and I his movie blog’s ratings would not still said no to that guy five fucking be tabulated into their Tomatom- times. So, no. Not gonna happen. eter score compilations. Polnam- Can’t stress this enough. Derek, if ski’s blog, LOLling Thunder, is you’re reading this, stop sending inaccurately known to his three me emails. Please.” readers for its wry wit and sharp Upon reading Pu’s comas a tack pop culture references. ments, Polnamski granted me “It’s just terrible,” says Polnam- an interview. “Hey, you—are you ski’s roommate, James Dettit. “The writing this down? You tell him worst. I mean, yeah, I’ve only read that LOLling Thunder has just it once since I’ve known the guy, as much integrity as any lame-o but I’ve seen enough.” movie website. You tell him that. Polnamski has been vying for And you make sure that he knows attention from Rotten Tomatoes that my readership has doubled ever since he sent the editor his in the past week alone. You tell full portfolio last January, exactly him that. I’m blowing up. You 20 minutes after having published tell him—” At this point my voice his first blog entry. The post, a recorder’s batteries died out of think piece on the merits of the sheer boredom. 4-year-old remake of Sahara, was offhandedly dismissed by Editor Richard Pu. “Arguably one of the merits of [Rotten Tomatoes] is it’s unbiased use of every single movie review available online,” Derek Polnamski’s blog is probably best known for its flagrant abuse said Pu. “However, of html. Its followers include his mom, his pastor, and his cat.
INSIDE
New Book Reveals that Mama Cass Choked to Death on Mackenzie Phillips’ Pussy Mackenzie Phillips, daughter of The Mamas &s the Papas’ John Phillips revealed in her new autobiography that her father not only introduced her to drugs and sexually assaulted her at a young age, but that her 15-year-old vagina was the true cause of death for “Mama” Cass Elliot. “The urban myth that Mama Cass choked to death on a sandwich is, of course, ridiculous,” said Phillips in an interview with Oprah. “She choked to death while eating my pussy at a Grammy’s afterparty.” Phillips went on to say that while, yes, Cass
was also eating a sandwich at the time, it was the One Day at a Time star’s illegal and bewhiskered hedgework that felled the beloved pop singer. “All things considered, it was one of the least horrible things to happen to me during that time of my life,” Phillips said, adding that, “she [Cass] had a soft apron of fat” that acted as a pillow during the exchange. “When it went cold, I knew something was wrong.” John Phillips, who died in 2001 of, appropriately enough, heart failure, can currently be seen playing his hits at a state fair in the labyrinths of hell. PAGE 11:14
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