ISSUE 66.04 JOE BRYANT Editor-in-Chief
RACHEL RUFRANO Managing Editor
CLAY COOPER
Managing Editor
clay.union@gmail.com simone.union@gmail.com
KEVIN O’BRIEN
kevinob.union@gmail.com
News Director
ANDY KNEIS Sports Editor
CAITLIN CUTT
Literature Editor & PR
JAMES KISLINGBURY
Entertainment Editor & PR
RACHEL RUFRANO Music Editor & PR
CHRIS FABELA
Creative Arts Editor
jamesk.union@gmail.com rachel.union@gmail.com cfab.union@gmail.com
KATHY MIRANDA
kathym.union@gmail.com
SOPHISTICATED BEAR
Grunion Editor
bear.grun@gmail.com
CLAY COOPER
Art Director, Cover Design
ANDREW LEE
Photo Editor, Cover Photo
MIKE PALLOTTA
On-Campus Distribution
KATHY MIRANDA Web Editor
CAITLIN CUTT
Advertising Executive
A MORE WRETCHED
HIVE OF SCUM & VILLAINY HATEMAIL TO AND FROM THE EDITOR
caitlincutt.union@gmail.com
victorpc.union@gmail.com
Culture Editor
JOE VERSUS
andyk.union@gmail.com
VICTOR CAMBA Comics Editor
-Malcolm X, moments before being gunned down
rachel.union@gmail.com
SIMONE HARRISON Opinions Editor
“Cool it, brothers.”
joeb.union@gmail.com
caitlincutt.union@gmail.com
Contributors: MIKE PALLOTTA, MATT DUPREE, SEAN BOULGER, JASON OPPLIGER, ERIN HICKEY, MICHAEL MERMELSTEIN, ALEXANDRA SCIARRA, JESSE BLAKE, KELVIN HO, BRIAN NEWHARD, ANDREW TURNER, STEVEN TRAN, SHELDON GANNT, MAY ZIMMERMAN, JONATHAN TAKAHASHI, JO JAMISON, FOLASHADE ALFORD, JANTZEN PEAKE, BRYAN WALTON, AMANDA KHO, JAMIE KARSON, CHELSEA STEVENS, ERIK LEONARDO OROZCO, JEFF CHANG, LEO PORTUGAL, ALEXANDRE RODALLEC, CHELSEA ROSENTHAL, ELISA TANAKA, KEN CHO, MARCO BELTRAN, JASMINE GAGNIER
Disclaimer and Publication Information The Union Weekly is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of the writer, and are not necessarily the opinions of the Union Weekly, ASI, or of CSULB. All students are welcome and encouraged to be a part of the Union Weekly staff. All letters to the editor will be considered for publication. However, CSULB students will have precedence. All outside submissions are due by Thursday, 5 PM to be considered for publishing the following week and become property of the Union Weekly. Please include name, major, class standing, and phone number for all submissions. They are subject to editing and will not be returned. Letters may or may not be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. The Union Weekly will publish anonymous letters, articles, editorials and illustrations, but must have your name and information attached for our records. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 500 words.
JOE BRYANT EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
F
eels like I don’t get to write much other than rebuttals to hatemail these days. I’d be worried about it if the people that wrote in weren’t this guy: This week’s article about the worst of Long Beach is pretty amusing, not entirely because it is funny, but rather it is one of the worst segments i have seen in your paper so far. Sure, DiPiazza’s critique is spot on, and Rally’s is pretty nasty, but Michael Mermelstein should have proofed his section on the worst theater in Long Beach. The Cinemark at the Pike is not only the nicest theater in our city, but also has competitively priced tickets. The standard rate is $9.75 while his recommended United Artist is $10.50. And yes, I know only the matinee price is said to be reasonable, but even in this price category the two theaters cost the same at $8. I will admit the movie goers can be roudy at the pike, but I think that is a trade off for the great stadium seating, comfortable seats, and moveable arm rests. As far as the concession prices go, they are inflated like all theaters, but if it is such a hassle I recommend he ceases purchasing them since they are no more of a necessity as the video game arcade is. Additionally, the parking can be validated for three hours of free parking, making the parking complaint no longer an issue as well. With all this being said, I give him credit for mentioning the United Artist’s indie screenings since it is one of the few places around (besides the Art Theater, which should have been mentioned since
it is a Long Beach landmark) that presents arthouse flicks. I think Mike should have done some research before he attacked one of the nicest cinema offerings our city has to offer. With some simple Fandango browsing, or even asking people, he could have easily realized that the Edwards Theater at the Long Beach Towne Center has the highest ticket prices around with a staggering $11.50 and also that the parking, while free, is damn near impossible to find on a Friday night. Continually, the teenagers are just as “unruly” as the ones at the Pike are. This theater would have been a more viable choice, or heck even the AMC on Pine avenue which has almost been forgotten nowadays. But of course, even the Towne Center with its downfalls does not snag the worst of Long Beach title. If he were to ask someone about the Pacific Theater at the Lakewood Mall he would surely be convinced it would be crowned the worst. But I guess I’ll let that one slide since it is technically not within Long Beach’s border. Consider me someone who is “not qualified to go out to the movies” My condolences on Michael’s bad, biased journalism, a concerned film major that loves his city, Bryon Gillis I don’t know how, as a movie person, you can justify ever seeing a movie at the Pike. Ever. Unless you’re the type of person that texts and talks during a movie. Because then I totally get it.
Look, I’m a movie guy. Have been since I was a little kid. Hell, I got my start writing movie reviews for this paper and last year edited the entertainment page, and I just don’t get talking during a movie and I don’t get the people that are okay with it. It’s rude and if your parents didn’t raise you any better, they should have. Towne Centre’s tickets are the most expensive. You’re right about that. But parking? Dude, just park in the back by Three Day Blinds and fucking walk. As for the Pike’s validatable parking, that still doesn’t make it worth my time to sit next to some asshole who’s tweeting through the whole movie. And the Art Theatre? We’ve been hocking them since last year, so don’t lecture us on supporting local cinema. The United Artists at Marketplace has a good mix of small and wide releases and decent prices. The seats aren’t great, but the people are. And you know why? Because they’re either old or polite and that’s fine by me. Of course Merm’s journalism is biased. The article was called “Worst of Long Beach”—it was designed to be biased. And you know what, maybe “not qualified to go out to the movies” was too harsh, but you’re certainly not qualified to go out to the movies with me. Good luck putting that film degree to use when you’re gripping for Quaint Taints 4. Who knows? Joe knows.
Send your praise, questions and pithy comments to joeb.union@gmail.com.
RUNNING OUT OF DOODLE PUNS VICTOR CAMBA UNION OLD HORSE
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Questions? Comments? MAIL : 1212 Bellflower Blvd. Suite 239, Long Beach, CA 90815 PHONE : 562.985.4867 FAX : 562.985.8161 E-MAIL : lbunion.info@gmail.com WEB : lbunion.com UNION WEEKLY
22 FEBRUARY 2010
OPINIONS
PHONING IT IN
GETTING A CALL FROM AN EX ISN’T ABOUT YOU CAITLIN CUTT LITERATURE EDITOR
M
en, from my years of observation, I’ve come to many, many conclusions about you people and how you go about relationships, but only two apply to this article: My first conclusion is that, when it comes to relationships, you (men) are always the first to really fall, and you’re the last ones to really get over a relationship. I don’t know why, but when I take into account every break-up that I’ve either observed or been involved in, the guy is in the worst shape, for the longest amount of time 99% of the time. My second conclusion is that every guy, as far as I can tell, has (or had) an ex-girlfriend who possesses the uncanny ability to call out of nowhere and ruin a perfectly good day—maybe even a whole week. This is female habit, mysterious to all men, that seems to be one reason why my first conclusion remains a very sad fact. She’s the one that deep down you thought could be The One, now she’s just the one that got away. She’s still fucking calling you, and you want to know why. Okay, I’ll tell you, but if you’ve at any point ever been in a relationship with me, I will never discuss this article with you, and you can read this at your own risk. First of all, when a girl who you’re break-
Illustration
AMANDA KHO UNION STAFFER
ing up with tells you that she’ll always love you, she’s tricking you. Well, she will always love you—in a way. It will never be the way you want her to. The thing is, we love the person we got to know throughout our time together well enough (you know, like a friend), but odds are we’re not calling to talk to that guy. We want to talk to the person we thought you were when we started to date you. Now that we’re not around “the real you” all the time, that other version of you can still exist because you still look, act, and talk exactly like that “fantasy”. Even though we know “fantasy you” doesn’t really exist, (this is why we will NEVER get back together with you, by the way) we can still hear that voice on the other line. “Fantasy you” is the guy that gave us butterflies. The guy we thought we were talking to that night in the car until 4am. The guy that made us “forget” a few items on our Dream Guy list. But the list was strong with this one, and you didn’t make the cut in the end. In a weird way, you lost to yourself, and from the very beginning you never had a chance against the perfect guy who was an amalgamation of the “actual you” and every guy Tom Hanks has played in a movie. What I’m saying is, if your ex-girl-
friend is calling you more than once a month, you’re being used. You are a deposit of generally positive emotions that, as long as you’re alive, we have the ability to access at any given moment. To put this cycle into perspective, this is exactly like when a guy knows he can always have sex with some girl any time. He wants some-
thing and he’s willing to put in minimal effort to get it. If he really wanted to be with her, he would be because he would have said as much. He’s never going tell her that he, “just wants to sleep alone.” Well hey, if we really wanted to be with you we could. You think we don’t know that? These calls are never about you.
THIRDHAND SMOKE, THIRD CLASS CITIZEN WHY THIRDHAND SMOKE IS ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT MICHAEL MERMELSTEIN UNION STAFFER
First thing’s first, let’s define our terms. What in the hell is thirdhand smoke? Thirdhand smoke apparently occurs after you light up and all of the smoke has settled down as a thick chemical layer on your jeans or a park bench; sometime in the future when the conditions are just right the horrible properties of your shameful exhale are reactivated causing some unsuspecting child to breath in your carcinogens. Or at least that’s the story coming out of Boston where researchers have shined a light on this latest slight to smokers everywhere. If you do a quick Google search of thirdhand smoke the first result peeking out at you comes from the New York Times provides this sub headline:“Toxic residue from UNION WEEKLY
22 FEBRUARY 2010
cigarette smoke clings to hair and carpets, endangering children, experts say.” Real classy NYT, go straight for the goddamn children. Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t everything cause cancer? From water bottles to meat, vegetables to smog. Every week the list of things that cause cancer grows. Besides, why stop at thirdhand smoke Science? Here’s a hypothetical, what if somebody inhales lingering smoke off of a rug and then exhales that smoke, does that endanger the children? I am by no means trying to downplay the negative health effects, that would be foolish, but surely this obsession with diffuse threats and puritanical interest in what other people do with their lives is more foolish.
A lot of things that make up American life are deadly, and most of those are deadly to others, but what exactly does it mean to the American public for something to be potentially fatal? In his seminal 1869 text On Liberty, John Stewart Mill introduced the concept of The Harm Principle to American Political Thinking, a sort of counter measure to provide a balance the effects of what Mill calls the tyranny of the majority. The Harm Principle says that the individual should be allowed to do whatever he wants as long as it does not harm another individual. However, since the writing of On Liberty, what does and does not constitute other-harming behavior has come under the control of the tyranny of
the majority. It turns out there is no objective agreeable measure by which we as a society can tell when an action like driving or a hobby like smoking stops being personal freedom and starts being a public nuisance. What thirdhand smoke means for smokers is that society is not done openly shaming us. I’m not advocating smoking indoors or anything crazy like that but next time somebody tries to guilt trip you about smoking, don’t bullshit them about how you are trying to quit, be honest and assertive, and don’t listen to this thirdhand smoking non-sense.
OPINIONS
TALK TO LA SOY
WHY SOY BEANS ARE LEADING TO MUCH MORE THAN HEALTHY DIETS ALEXANDRE RODALLEC UNION STAFFER
Many among us, hoping to make a change, try to restrict their intake of meat, replacing it with soy and other protein rich plants, and yet this isn’t the only group of consumers that eat a lot of soy. Most of us have no idea that we are consuming great amounts of soy. A couple of days ago my roommate showed me a video on FORA.tv. In this video a funny guy named Raj Patel elaborates on why some people are stuffed and others starved, promoting his book, fittingly titled, Stuffed and Starved. Raj Patel is an academic (visiting scholar at UC Berkeley), and author that has “both worked for and protested against the World Bank, the WTO, and the UN”. But let’s get to the point. In a lot of things you eat you can find lecithin, used as an emulsifier, which is a substance that keeps water and fat from separating. Lecithin comes from an ingredient, which, in the words of Raj Patel, “is in three quarters of everything that’s processed food in the supermarkets, and almost everything that the fast food industry sells us. And that ingredient is Soy.” Now, soy is not necessarily a bad thing, in fact, it has many good qualities and it is probably used to make the ink on this page, which we’re very happy about, both you and I (hopefully). America is one of the major producers of soy, but the leading exporter of soy in the world is, yes, you
Illustration
AMANDA KHO UNION STAFFER
guessed it, Brazil. And here is the problem. Estimates of modern day slavery in Brazil, mostly linked to soy, give us numbers of at least 25,000 and up to 40,000 or more slaves producing soy that you are eating. Shocked
to learn this, I’ve started asking around and looking for labels that tells you where the soy is from. I walked into the Fresh&Easy on my street and looked for soy coming out of Brazil. Not surprisingly, there seems no way to know. I mean, who labels where the lecithin in a protein-bar comes
from? How then, can someone who cares about trifling things like slavery, shop with a good conscience? Well, you could contact all the companies whose products you’re buying. But what a hassle you have to go through just to shop with a good conscience. No, this is wrong. Why shouldn’t you be able to just pick up a product in a store or buy a hamburger at your local burger joint and not have to think about supporting slavery? Is that too much to ask for, in a democracy? Why are we even importing soy from Brazil when we obviously know that this is going on? And if some of us still feel comfortable doing this, then at least those of us that, for those petty concerns about human rights, care about it, should be able to boycott products that use some ingredient derived from Brazilian soy. Write your representatives and tell them that you want to put a stop to the importation of products made from Brazilian soy, or at the very least a clear label that indicates that a product has been produced using Brazilian soy and/or its derivatives. I am going to write the ACLU and Amnesty International to have them lobby for this. We support slavery in the 21st century? No thank you. And if you don’t care about humans, but trees and animals, know that Brazilian is also the main cause of deforestation in the Amazonas.
UNION WEEKLY 22 FEBURARY 2010
NEWS F*KING ASKS, WHAT KIND OF
CALIFORNIA DO WE WANT? THE STRUGGLE BETWEEN DIMINISHING STATE SUPPORT AND RISING STUDENT FEES KEVIN O’BRIEN NEWS DIRECTOR
O
n February 17, 2010, President F. King Alexander testified in the third public hearing of the Joint Committee on the Master Plan for Higher Education with a presentation titled Affordability and Financial Aid: What Kind of California Do We Want? He focused on the issue of waning state support for higher education, an issue that President Alexander has been at the forefront of for the past two years. “I’m sitting there on Wednesday… just kind of smirking, thinking, you know, they’re all talking about education… And I know why everyone of you guys cut the budgets right to that level, and it had nothing to do with why we are meeting today, it had nothing to do with all these experts sitting in here, it had nothing to do with it. You just cut your budget to where the federal government let you cut it.” In 2008 the U.S. House and Senate worked to renew the Higher Education Act or HEA, which provided financial assistance to college students. Within the HEA was a provision supported by President Alexander that caused debate, the provision was the State Commitment
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to Affordable College Education Amendment more commonly known as the Maintenance of Effort provision or the MOE. Said provision sought to require state governments to sustain federally mandated levels of tax support for colleges in a ratio. The MOE was written as a solution to the most predominant factor pushing college fees higher: the declining amount of tax support provided to colleges by the state governments. As the funds once provided by the state lessened the ratio changed and students fees and tuition had to rise to make up the difference. Opposition to the MOE came from state’s rights advocates that believed that the federal government should not dictate the amount of tax support that a state government allocates to its universities. “Two years ago we won that fight by one vote the house did a budget, the senate did the budget…and we wrote the MOE in there, and then they coverage, 12 people converged in what they called conference, where they sort out the differences between the two acts and then its basically passed,” said President Alexander. “We won…six to
five in that room. Lamar Alexander in Tennessee said that he would not let this pass over his dead body and he lost six to five.” In 2009 Congress included a provision similar to the MOE in the American Reinvestment and Recovery Act of 2009. This new provision required state governments to keep their tax support level at or above the amount of tax support provided in 2006. If the levels were not maintained, then the federal economic stimulus money would be revoked. In 2010 the positive effects of the MOE provision and the similar provision included in the American Reinvestment and Recovery Act are being seen. In response to the national economic recession, state governments began to cut funds from state budgets, and higher education has come under the knife. The cuts were deep, however they would have cut down to the fiscal bone had the MOE supported by the federal government not been there to stop them. State governments have cut public funding for colleges right down to the levels mandated by the federal government, right up to the point in which the
state governments federal economic stimulus money would otherwise be revoked. The numbers backing this observation are staggering. In his testimony, President Alexander spoke of the terrible 12—the 12 states (including California), which have most dramatically cut their public support for colleges between of 2009 and 2010, many to within a few dollars of the federally mandated minimums. Some states such as Colorado and Oregon have brought the public level of support down to within zero dollars of the limit that the MOE provision dictates. Other states like Utah have brought the level of public support to comically low levels, resting just 38 dollars above the federally mandated minimum. Without the MOE provision the idea of the federally mandated floor for public education funding would not exist and nothing would be in place to prevent state governments from taking the burden from the tax paying public and placing it squarely on the shoulders of college students. It was this history that preceded President Alexander’s testimony last week. A history in which the state government responds with the bare minimum of fiscal effort, and President Alexander was there, asking them to do more. He outlined that CSU institutions are some of the most affordable in the country, with 88% percent of public universities charging more in tuition and fees. He spoke on the fact that 33% of state university fees are returned back to the neediest students. He detailed how the CSU system is one of the most efficient in the nation, with a cost to degree production ratio in the 25th percentile. Finally he made the case for a greater degree of public support for the CSU system. Reaffirming the point that California is one of the terrible 12, the nations states that have the highest, declining support for higher education and that California spends 10 billion dollars less than it did in 1980, a decrease of 47%. The solution is simple—take this knowledge to the voting booth. The next general election isn’t for some time, November 11, 2010. In the meantime, if you are a student or any person who benefits from a CSU like Cal State University Long Beach, then make every attempt to communicate to your local representation that increased state funding for public universities is tied your vote.
SPORTS
Top: Just a cool picture of baseball, what do you want? Left: This player’s all like “This bat... I’m gonna get a hit with this bat.” Right: Derek Legg is hitting a baseball. Drink muscle milk.
THE DIRTBAGS BEAT PEPPERDINE. IN BASEBALL. DEAL WITH IT. CSULB DEFEATS PEPPERDINE OPENING NIGHT. WHAT? YOU WANT A JOKE? CAN’T ENTERTAIN YOURSELF? PATHETIC. ANDREW TURNER
L
UNION STAFFER
ong Beach State rode an incredible pitching performance by Jake Thompson to a 2-1 victory on a damp opening night at Blair Field last Friday. Dirtbags fans were singing in the rain (ugh) when Thompson struck out Pepperdine’s Ryan Heroy to end an electrifying pitchers duel. The lively crowd of 1,974 received an additional energy boost when a legend from Dirtbags past stepped onto the field to throw out the first pitch. The crowd erupted when they realized that Troy Tulowitzki was amongst the masses at Blair Field for the night. The game, which was thought to be in danger of being rained out, got underway
Photos
ANDREW LEE
PHOTO EDITOR
with returning starting pitcher Thompson taking the mound and retiring the side in order. In the bottom half of the first, the Dirtbags would be the first to get on the board. Brennan Metzger led off the inning with a single. Metzger would come around to score when Devin Lohman delivered his first of two hits on the night through the left side of the infield. In the third inning, Brennan Metzger reached base when he was clipped by a Cole Cook pitch. Steve Tinoco knocked in Metzger when he was able to keep the ball on the ground, allowing Metzger to scramble home from third for the Dirtbags second
run of the game. Long beach was unable to widen the gap with later opportunities, including a bases loaded situation. It was up to the pitching staff to show that it could deliver in a close game. Jake Thompson made sure that manager Mike Weathers did not have to call upon his bullpen. Thompson held the Pepperdine Waves scoreless until the seventh inning, when Waves designated hitter Torrey Jacoby knocked in Colin Rooney to cut the Dirtbags’ two run lead in half. Long Beach State experienced a scare in the eighth inning. After centerfielder Jordan Casas laid out to make a diving catch to start
the inning, he was unable to duplicate the magic when he dove for a ball in right-center field. The ball glance off his glove and rolled to the wall. With two outs, Pepperdine’s Joe Sever advanced to third on a wild pitch by Thompson. The Long Beach flamethrower regrouped to strike out Nate Johnson, stranding the tying run on third. In the ninth, Thompson completed the game, retiring the side in order. He finished the game having given up just one run, with six strike outs. Thanks to a masterful display from Thompson and support from rest of the team, the Dirtbags were able to give the season a strong start.
UNION WEEKLY
22 FEBRUARY 2010
BY RACHEL RUFRANO MANAGING EDITOR
A
s a student with little to no experience with gun violence beyond what I’ve seen in film and television, the idea of students carrying weapons on campus seems radically illogical. Why, when school shootings are so rare and there are professionals in every city of every state to protect us in these situations, would anyone decide to allow anyone of age to carry a gun on campus? Upon further research, I found that the answer is too complex to solve with safety drills or concealed weapons. This is one instance in which logic has no bearing. Some people argue, using inductive reasoning, that arming students to defend themselves against a shooter is no different than a vaccination. Although the idea of inoculating people against a virus by actually give them the virus seems illogical, it does work. But even vaccines need to be injected by professionals, and putting guns in the hands of students isn’t a guarantee for safety. In response to the April 2007 shooting at Virginia Tech, a grassroots organization called Students for Concealed Carry on Campus (SCCC) formed to encourage post-secondary schools to allow students, faculty, and staff to carry concealed weapons on campus. Since the February 2008 shooting at Northern Illinois University, their membership has grown to over 38,000. There are many people on the other side of the argument, if not more, who debate this issue with just as much fervor. The Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence is among them, although their mission statement extends to banning guns in America completely. Even interviews conducted on campus at Virginia Tech today are divided on the issue. Some think that Seung-Hui Cho could have been stopped if students had guns to de-
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fend themselves. Others think the only way to solve the problem is to promote peace and to be more aware of depression in students like that of Cho. Although there are no states with an overriding law allowing concealed weapons on campus, except for Utah, the nation is completely divided. Many states are leaving it up to specific schools to decide, some allow it under the circumstance that the holder has a specific need to carry a weapon, and others strictly forbid it without exceptions. The states that are allowing concealed weapons aren’t divided in the way most Californians might think—it isn’t a red state/blue state division and it tends to vary from campus to campus. Colleges are often safer environments with less crimes per capita than the rest of the United States, and even though there haven’t been any problems on any of the nine universities in Utah that have allowed concealed carry–on since 2006, there hasn’t been an opportunity to prove that they effectively defend students against a shooting, either. Although having concealed weapons in post-secondary schools in California is very unlikely, I did want to hear what students at CSULB had to say on the matter. In an attempt to present the question in an unbiased way, I first asked students what they thought schools could do to prevent shootings without mentioning concealed weapons on campus. Some suggested that campus security could be armed. Others said there should be more outreach to kids with potentially psychological problems. One student mentioned that he went to a school with metal detectors and that, even then, students found ways to bring weapons into the school. For the most part, students didn’t feel like there was anything you could do. However, at the mention of concealed weapons on campus, most students thought the idea was a bit radical. No matter how radical, some students still contend that having a concealed weapon is an American right. The debate seems to go much deeper than the 2nd Amendment and fear is taking the spotlight; it ranges from fear that students are helpless against an armed madman to fear that more guns in the hands of students will only equal more violence. It seems that fear is dictating a lot of decisions as of late; and you can see that in our airport security, our immigration policy, and it’s the main means of motivating people to be environmentally aware. The truth is never so simple as eliciting fear, no matter how effective a tactic as it is. Arming our students will only help or hurt to a certain degree—the same goes for educating students with emergency drills—because there is no one answer. What organi-
zations like the SCCC and The Brady Campaign are buying into is a false sense of safety, because no one wants to admit that preventing another school shooting is just about completely out of our hands. To ensure our safety would involve the impossible: strictly enforcing that parents give their children love and attention, working with people from a young age with any chemical imbalance, and educating our youth that violence is not the answer in a world that acts otherwise. What we can do is look at the problem from more than one angle. It’s important that students feel safe on campus and that students can focus on their education, not who’s packing heat. It’s going to have to involve some abstract thinking, because we aren’t going to find one quick solution.
RIGHT-TO-CARRY STATES CITIZENS HAVE THE RIGHT TO CARRY A FIREARM FOR PERSONAL SELF-DEFENSE Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wyoming. Utah is the only state to allow concealed carry at all public colleges/universities, by prohibiting public colleges/universities from creating their own restrictions.
8 MAY-ISSUE STATES AND THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA
CITIZEN MUST SHOW A NEED, USUALLY AT THE DISCRETION OF THE COUNTY SHERIFF California, Delaware, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, Rhode Island.
2 RIGHT-DENIED STATES
THERE IS NO PROVISION FOR CONCEALED CARRY. POLITICIANS ARE EXEMPT Illinois and Wisconsin.
SHORT.
STORY
CONTEST. FANCY YOURSELF A WRITER? WELL, THEN FUCKING DO IT! WE’VE GOT TWO CATEGORIES. SHORT FICTION • 700- 1000 WORDS MAX FLASH FICTION • 300 WORDS MAX
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MUSIC NEW MUSIC PREVIEW
MATT DUPREE SIFTS THROUGH THE CRAP SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO UNION SENIOR
DUM DUM GIRLS
XIU XIU
DAN BLACK
FREE ENERGY
Hey there, pal! You look like the sort of chap who might enjoy pop songs, am I right? Not only that, but you look like you might enjoy listening to pop songs with a fishbowl over your head! And if I’m right, and I do believe I am, I’ve got an album you should sure as shit check out. It’s by the Dum Dum Girls, who love echo and reverb so much, they’d marry both if they could. Couldn’t understand the words in that chorus? Fret not! They’ll repeat it again! And again! And again! What do you mean ‘that sounds annoying’? You like throwback stuff, don’t you? You like lo-fi bands that no one’s heard of, right? So what’s the problem? Go pick up the album now, so you can say you had it first!
Listening to Xiu Xiu is like getting hit in the face with a shotgun blast of funfetti. It’s colorful and sweet, but there’s a lot of it and it’s coming at you at high speed. Strange swirls of percussion bombard during “Chocolate Makes You Happy,” a song whose title belies nothing of the subject matter. It’s about chocolate, and how it makes you happy. Song accomplished. The strangeness continues on, and any Xiu Xiu fan will tell you that’s exactly what you want in a Xiu Xiu album. It would be a fair generalization that most of these songs constitute some sort of experimental melange of sounds. But there’s more to it. Jamie Stewart watches over the mix like a hawk, and his Bryan Ferry-esque vocals string a cord of croon to keep the songs together.
Dan Black is a lot of things. He’s a handsomer Calvin Harris, a less dynamic Mika, and a less musical Frankmusik. His compositions are all thoroughly club-ready, although his sampling of “Umbrella” on two separate occasions hints at a serious need for accessibility. He’s the sort of act that fills a niche market of girls who’ve gone indie but still carry a torch for boy bands. So, obviously he’ll succeed, but how’s the music? Eh. Not terrible. Electro pop’s a fairly sturdy business, but it’s obvious that Black has an ear for it. He’s got studio magic all over his voice, but every so often a Bono-style soar will break through. But considering how easy it is to make IDM-esque electropop sound good, there’s no real achievement here. Dan Black has made the musical equivalent of good pizza.
I don’t care what anyone says, this is a Weezer album that got mislabeled. There’s a nerdy-but-resolute vocalist with a penchant for whoa-whoa-whoa’s and a hatred for the letter G (e.g. breathin’, movin’, cruisin’). There’s the arena-style guitar references and quick riffs. There’s plenty of oversimplified chord progressions. There’s even the trademark bored-sounding harmonies. There’s even the one song that’s a more-jokey-thanfunky one-off that’s supposed to make a good single that makes them seem multi-talented. I don’t care what the label says, you’ve purchased a Weezer album. And for that, it’s one of the best albums Weezer has ever put out. At no point did it venture into hyperobvious tongue-in-cheekism. The keyboards were quirky but used minimally, and the guitars managed to toss aside the sarcastic arena mimickry for at least a couple of tracks. So, if you like Weezer, pick this—nevermind. If you like Weezer, you’re probably not reading this, on account of you having shit where your brains should be.
BETTER KNOW A GENRE // DUBSTEP SEAN BOULGER UNION STAFFER
Dubstep, as a genre, is in a lot of ways a perfect representation of what a big part of our culture has become. Just like many of the things we’re surrounded with (the Internet, television, music, magazines), some dubstep is best explored, and some of it is best ignored. Like social networking and Lost, dubstep has only been around for a few years now, but has managed to create a surprising set of subcategories and permutations. To be general though, it’s safe to say that dubstep is comprised of two different styles, more or less. The first is a dancier, more aggressive and drugged-out kind of dubstep that goes hand-in-hand with high dosages of ecstacy. This is for a reason, though: Dubstep characteristically employs the use of heavy sub bass, which occurs at a frequency that’s significantly lower than typical bass that would be heard in say, a pop or rap song. When played through specific kinds of speakers that emphasize bass (obviously), the sub bass will reverberate so heavily that you can actually feel it in your chest. This is where the E would come in, of course. UNION WEEKLY
22 FEBRUARY 2010
In its first appearances, dubstep was a characteristically grimy, beat-driven genre of music that came out of London’s grime and garage house scenes. Employing the use of the aforementioned heavy bass, along with heavily dubinfluenced two-step rhythms, dubstep can be dancy as all hell, but interestingly avoids the typical four-to-the-floor beat that makes dance music as appealing as it usually is. The result is a funky, jittery, grimy beat that swept through the UK garage scene, right around 2000. Dubstep began with dark, aggressive dub remixes of 2-step garage tracks, morphed into its own beast, and now —with the help of everyone from Burial to Crookers—is beginning to enjoy some more widespread appreciation. A large part of this is due to Burial who released one of the most critically-acclaimed albums of 2007—his sophomore release, Untrue. This album saw Burial experimenting with a sound that dubstep hadn’t really seen before. Exemplifying the flip side of dubstep, Burial created an album that fed off of dubsteps typically throbbing sub bass, but softened the edges and created an atmospheric, moody, and
beautiful album. The album’s dark tendencies and sparse arrangements, featuring warped and looped vocal tracks, are as haunting as they are addicting. Setting a bit of a trend, Burial created a distinctive sound whose influence has now crept into the work of other dubstep producers. Boxcutter’s recent Arecibo Message has an opening track that might as well be a Burial song. Interesting, to think that those sounds weren’t really characteristic of dubstep before Burial put them on his record two years ago. Dubstep’s story is a really cool example of today’s current musical underground—thanks to how easy modern technology has made it to both create and distribute music, ideas and experimentation are being pushed in new and different ways all the time, giving us entirely new genres of music that are being created by combining and/ or experimenting with other genres of music. So if you’re a fan of electronic music—whether you prefer the dancey or the atmospheric—dubstep likely has something for you.
ENTERTAINMENT LITERALLY A MILLIONAIRE ADAM CAROLLA HAS TO GET IT ON AT THE EL PORTAL ALEXANDRA SCIARRA
UNION STAFFER, MAKES THE BIG BUCKS
A
s a Renaissance man, Adam Carolla can give you pointers on everything from home improvement to beating an opponent in the boxing ring. Most importantly Carolla was the straight talker everyone needed in their lives, he dished out lessons in love opposite the board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist Dr. Drew Pinsky on the nationally syndicated radio show Loveline from 1995 to 2006. Carolla then left the late night radio gig to host his own morning radio show, replacing Howard Stern in a number of West Coast markets. When the Adam Carolla Show was cancelled in February 2009 to make room for another Top 40 station, Carolla took it upon himself to start a podcast from his own home. With more than 40 mil-
lion downloads to date, Carolla’s podcast became the #1 Daily Downloaded Podcast on iTunes after only two days of production. Recently, the podcast won the Best Of 2009 #1 Podcast award at the iTunes Rewind Awards. In an interview with the OC Register Carolla offered that the style of his show has given audiences “a nice alternative to the super fast paced, over-produced six-minute segments that entertainment has turned into now.” After podcasting for a year, Carolla decided to take his web show on the road, opening first at a small improv theatre in Irvine last December. The success of the road show inspired Carolla to play the newly renovated El Portal theatre in North Hollywood. The historic art deco theatre is where Carolla, who went to North Hollywood High, admittedly escaped to while ditching school as a teenager. “Adam saw quite a few movies at the old Pussycat Theater down the street too, but that’s a different story,” adds Executive Producer Donny Misraje. Carolla will be returning to his old stomping ground, the El Portal, to host his podcast live on February 27th at both 8pm and 10pm. Carolla will be joined by Dr. Drew and the night guarantees many other guests, although there has been
no official mention of girls, trampolines, or any promising combination of the two. Still the night of nostalgia will be a great show for Carolla devotees. The evening will ultimately end with a midnight screening of Carolla’s independent film The Hammer, the plot of which is based on Carolla’s real life experiences as a construction worker in L.A. The live show is presented by the Adam Carolla Entertainment Network, or ACE. The newly launched online entertainment site will host video broadcasting in addition to new programs like “The Parent Experiment” which features his wife Lynette and co-host Teresa Strasser in addition to Carolla’s very own home improvement podcast. The goal of the site is to create the ultimate destination for fans of all things Carolla. The El Portal Theatre where Carolla will be performing this Saturday has not only weathered four wars, but also survived the 1994 earthquake. Most recently the theatre underwent a complete restoration and reopened in January of 2000. Carolla is committed to transforming his childhood hangout to its original greatness and plans to bring his live show back to North Hollywood in May, September and even plans to host a Christmas show in December. “It’s great to be doing a local show,” says Misraje, “it feels right to have it be at the El Portal.” The El Portal Theater is located at 5269 Lankershim Blvd. North Hollywood, CA 91603 . For Tickets visit https://www. ovationtix.com/trs/pr/712735
SONS OF TUCSON
KIND OF HEARTWARMING, KIND OF FUNNY, MOSTLY WEIRD MATT DUPREE
UNION STAFFER, FULL LEATHER JACKET
Premiering March 14th on FOX, Sons Of Tucson is a strange beast. It’s the story of three boys whose father goes to prison for fraud and leaves them a secret house and plenty of cash to live on while he’s incarcerated. They hire a deadbeat with a talent for making up lies on the spot to pretend to be their father and sign them up for school. Sure enough, the boys discover they’ll need their fake dad for more than just the odd back-to-school night, so they let him live in their shed in exchange for his continued involvement. It stars Tyler Labine (of Reaper fame) and features Guest appearances by Jake Busey, Joe Lo Truglio, and Justin Berfield (who’s also a producer for the show). On the one hand, a lot of Sons Of Tucson feels very familiar for a sitcom. The three boys evoke Malcom In The Middle: the eldest is the cool one, the middle is the smart one, and the little one’s crazy and adorable. The pudgy and unreliable father figure also has some FOX history behind it. But the strong writing of the show goes far in masking its less-original qualities. The ‘smart kid’ is called out for his neurotic attempts to be the voice of reason, the ‘cool kid’ is told he’ll peak in high school, and the
adorable kid... well he’s just really adorable. It also warms my heart to see a show that roots for the bad guy. Tyler Labine’s character, Ron Snuffkin, is a deadbeat who lives in his car, owes money to bad people, and lies constantly. And yet by the end of the episode, he has lied his way into a home, a job, and an unpleasant end for his loan shark. I won’t get too far into that, but the last line uttered is “You get his pants off, and I’ll go pick the right wig.” And as much as the hackneyed “unlikely family” “learns to get along,” they also learn to not get along. For every time Ron sticks up for the boys, there is a time when he takes advantage of their generosity. For every time the kids act with that same “TV kid” precocity, there’s one where they actually act like kids who don’t have a father: confused, alone, and angry. I think this show has a lot of promise, but we’ll see what happens. As strong as the pilot was, I get the feeling like they may go the more episodic route, where every episode can be viewed out of order without any semblance of overarching plot. Hopefully, they’ll develop the plotlines they’ve started with the same level of uniqueness and depth
that they’ve shown with the first three episodes. I’m hopeful that they will and that’s a lot for a FOX comedy. I may be proven wrong, but I think this show is going to surprise some people. Maybe even you.
UNION WEEKLY
22 FEBRUARY 2010
CULTURE THE BLACK LIST PROJECT
Michael Mermelstein, All-time Hot Dog Lover
Words and Photo Folashade Alford,Union Staffer
T
he Black List Project is the brain child of critic Elvis Mitchell and photographer Timothy Greenfield. The focus of this project is to honor the experiences of prominent black figures and to discover what it means to be black in a contemporary time. This project has so far evolved into a three volume documentary series. It is a combination of film and pictures that capture a personal look into each participant’s life. The project is the beginning of a much larger ambition called, One Million Stories, purposefully designed to inspire everyday people to record their own life experiences and become unified as a people by our unique differences. I ventured to the Paley Center for Media in Los Angeles to see the exhibit. It’s a quiet little museum nestled between Rodeo and Santa Monica. I expected to feel somewhat intimidated by the whole “LA scene” but that wasn’t the case. I was welcomed at the front desk by amiable employees. The exhibit features volumes 1-3 of the documentary playing on two flat screens. Each installment is 30-90 minutes. Displayed in the hall are 14 of the Californian
participants from each volume. As I watched the various volumes I could not say one was particularly better than the other, as each volume builds on the other by providing comical, harrowing and inspiring experiences of black people. The Black List’s title is striking in and of itself, as “black” has been connotated to mean evil or spoiled. However, this list proves otherwise by showcasing people who are not disapproved of or suspicious, but rather people who are uplifting and positive. This is an exhibit anybody can enjoy, not just black people and not just during Black History Month. This project accomplishes its goal by honoring an array of black people that are not “ghetto, loud, or uneducated.” The stereotypes are slowly falling away but still, it’s an ongoing struggle. It’s important for everybody to recognize that there are things happening outside of themselves. Once people listen and learn about different cultures maybe we can move on as a world and stop hating people for no good reason. Through exploration and respect comes understanding, and we all need a little more of that.
ABOUT THE PALEY CENTER FOR MEDIA The Paley Center’s tagline is “Leading Today’s Media Conversation.” As someone who cherishes the world of publishing, this slogan is especially appealing to me. If you’re like me, you may be lamenting the impending doom of print media, while the rest of the media world is evolving at exponential rates. Thus, this particular conversation regarding media is neccesary. Not only do we need to embrace media awareness, we should also be mindful of how we can use it effectively. The Paley Center for Media is a sphere of
UNION WEEKLY
22 FEBRUARY 2010
knowledge for our exploration. We are able to study the myriad perspectives that make up our cultural identities. From advertising strategies to iconic films, the center showcases the most important moments in media history. It’s free, GO. “The Black List Project” will be on display Jan. 29 to Apr. 4, 2010. Visit: www.paleycenter.org -Kathy Miranda, Culture Editor
I didn’t know how good I had it. For three glorious years Jody Maroni’s handled all of my on-campus lunch needs and then just like that, they vanished last fall. Luckily for me, and all of you who are missing Jody’s presence in the Long Beach food scene, the Dog House opened early this year. Sure, the Dog House is off-campus and thus, kind of a hassle, but it more than makes up for it with an unparalleled selection. Keeping the focus squarely on the meat, the folks at the Dog House offer a plethora of tempting sausages from the classic American frank to the spicy and exotic linguiça, to more contemporary options like jabañero tequila chicken. The sides are kept to the bare essentials: coleslaw, fries, and a bowl of chili are the only accoutrements available to a hungry dog connoisseur. This sausage orthodoxy pays off in a big way for the Dog House, and invites favorable comparisons to In-N-Out and Chick-Fil-A, two brands long prized for their all-American, straight-to-the-point menu. However, as long as we are talking brand comparisons, there is one franchise that sticks out as a clear inspiration for this hot dog shrine and that is Five Guys Burgers and Fries. More than In-N-Out or Jody’s, it is the sheer options available to a Five Guys’ patron that serves as an influence here. Holy shit does yhe Dog House give you options. From the previously mentioned dozen or so sausage options, you get to choose between toppings like grilled onions, chili, and cheese to less-expected options like bacon and scrambled eggs, and that is just the tip of the iceberg. The condiment bar at the Dog House is nothing short of jaw dropping, the place has four irreplaceable mustards for crying out loud. Yellow mustard, deli mustard, honey mustard, and the criminally under-represented Russian mustard make up the bed rock of the toppings for your dog. And the geniuses at the Dog House also add in a whole slew of relishes, peppers, and even chipotle mayo for your hungry imaginative minds to mull over. Needless to say as a first timer, I was overwhelmed. After taking a few minutes to go over the menu and chat with a friendly employee, I settled on a spicy pork linguiça with Russian mustard and garlic aioli, fries, and to top it all off, a southern classic, an all-beef hotdog with chili cheese coleslaw and mustard. The cook was intrigued with my slaw dog and set out to make my monster order, and a slaw dog for himself. The Bottom Line: The Dog House delivers. The sausages snap perfectly, the chili cheese and slaw work together like a dream, the seasoned fries are crunchy and wellspiced, and the Russian mustard is beyond tasty. The Dog House is not just a much-needed replacement to my dearly departed Jody Maroni’s but a serious food palace that deserves to be taken seriously on its own merits.
COMICS
You’re STUCK Here! by Victor! Perfecto
Koo Koo and Luke by Jesse Blake
yourestuckhere@gmail.com
EASY
http://funatronics.com/kookoo/
HARD
Garage Sketchbook by elisa
http://elisa-tanaka-garage.blogspot.com/
Drunken Penguin Presents by James Kislingbury
penguin.incarnate@gmail.com
Ask me, ask me, ask me. Send feedback to: victorpc.union@gmail.com Or leave comments at the Union office Student Union Office 239
Crowzfeet@aol.com jeff.chang.art@gmail.com
EASY
CraBBy Times by Jantzen Peake Forgotten Fall by Jeff Chang
HARD
ANSWERS
UNION WEEKLY 22 FEBRUARY 2010
Art
CONTRIBUTOR
ERIK LEONARDO OROZCO
CREATIVE ARTS
UNION WEEKLY
22 FEBRUARY 2010
Disclaimer:
“I keep forgetting what we’re doing is actually journalism.”
This publication is satire. We are not ASI, nor do we represent the CSULB campus. Shazbot! Send rags to bear. grun@gmail.com
Volume 66 Issue 4
Monday, February 22nd, 2009
EXCLUSIVE: Crazy Heart 2: Crazy Fart Script Leaked BY JEFF BRIDGES, ACTOR [Editor’s Note: The following was found in the Grunion basement (where we work out of), scribbled out on sheets of toilet paper by the Grunion’s own Jeff Bridges, Actor (yes, that Jeff Bridges, Actor). Much to our astonishment the toilet sheets contained the script for the sequel to the hit blockbuster smash Crazy Heart starring Jeff Bridges, the Actor. Below we have included the full text of the toilet script for your enjoyment.] EXT. EARTH—DAY JEFF BRIDGES sits on his porch, down on his luck, attempting to play COUNTRY MUSIC. Suddenly, ASSHOLE TERRORISTS bust in. They’re talking in another language. No subtitles because NOBODY cares. JBridge looks at all of them and says a COOL LINE like “My COUNTRY tis of thee... and you’ve PISSED OFF me!” Catchphrase alert. Jeff Bridges then murders each terrorist. For the first one, Jeff Bridges uses his lyrical prowess to battle rap the terrorist. The terrorist has no flow at all. It’s really pathetic and even his buddies who should be giving him props and daps and stuff can tell he’s lame. Jeff Bridges defeats him easily (rhyme ideas: terrorist/fist, mid-
dle east/really weak [dead meat]). He says the final verse right into the terrorist’s nuts, causing a chain reaction within his body that kills the terrorist. An easy defeat. Jeff Bridges makes a mental note to write a song about Method actors JBridge and Shia Labeouf making googly eyes at each other. this moment. The second terrorist readies for PLANTS ONE on him (one smooch). attack. JEFF BRIDGES grabs his gui“9 months later...” says a title tar and he strums a huge G chord screen. Shia is pregnant! Him and while simultaneously putting on Jeff looks so happy and content feelsunglasses (CGI needed here). The ing the baby inside of Shia. YEAH terrorist wets his pants because he RIGHT! Like Shia and Jeff are free sucks. Jeff Bridges grabs some wires spirits that can’t be tied down! They from somewhere and electrocutes the deserve to live and love! Shia rips terrorist to death with his own urine. off his black maternity dress. They’re Once he is dead, JBridge stomps on at the funeral of the Boss Terrorist. the guy’s lifeless nuts, but careful Shia hid guns and knives and guitars Jeff!!! There’s still electricity in them (Jeff ’s specialty) in his fake preg belly! and he gets shocked while stomping. They start blasting away into the cofIt’s really funny and his skeleton is fin right where the terrorist’s testicles showing and shit. would be. Everyone at the funeral is Now time for the boss terrorist. cheering and popping open beers and The guy is bald and showing off and just having a ton of fun as they obliterdoing karate and swearing and other ate the guy’s lifeless nuts. The camera sins. Jeff makes quick work of him zooms in to show that they have made by throwing a gold record Jeff got for a big old heart in the coffin with their making country and it chops the guy’s bullets. Maybe... just maybe their love head right off. “We did it, we killed was real after all. Perhaps dreams are their asses. Now kiss me Shia,” says real, folks. Reach for the stars. Jeff as he grabs SHIA LABEOUF and THE END?? Yep.
LBUNION.COM
Have You Seen This YouTube Video? OP-ED BY AERIN GOUSCHELOP Oh, hey, there you are! Hey man, have you seen this YouTube video yet? You haven’t? Do you even have internet?! It’s so frickin’ funny. SO frickin’ funny. You gotta come check this out! No, fuck going to the bathroom, you’re going to poop your pants when you see this. You gotta! Okay, hang on, let me google it. “Bellydance Fail.” Here it is. Wait, no that’s not it. Hang on, I posted it on your Facebook. No, you can’t just watch it later! Let me have this! Okay, I think I got it, oh wait, no. This is the other funny thing I posted on your Facebook. It’s a list of the 7 funniest murders ever. It’s hilarious. Check it out when you get a chance. Hold on, I think I tweeted it. Wait a sec here. It’s totally worth it, man. No, that’s not it either. Hold on, let me check my Bloggo. Nope. Maybe I put it on Tuggr. Nope. Okay, I’m pretty sure I’ve got it on Rumbkin. What do you mean you don’t have a Rumbkin?! Jesus, man, better get on that. It does everything. Like all of the networking tools rolled together into a concentrated hoseblast of internet noise.
You gotta get on that. Hang on, I think I got it here. No, this is a different video. Let’s watch it. No? Okay, fine. Let me see if I can find it. Oh, look at that, I had it in this other tab the whole time. I found this on Chumpler the other day. Chumpler’s like THE link aggregator for drunk people on the internet. Yeah, I was super drunk on the web last night. Me and my Facebook pals like to get wasted and poke each other. Anyways, here watch this. It’s a long video. No, I think it’s in the middle when it gets good. No, just wait for it! Fine, let me skip ahead. Oh, hold on, this is the best part, this is the best. No wait, this isn’t it. Here, let me—Okay here it is... Haha! Right? That’s actually only the second best part, here let me find the BEST part. Here it is. Watch this. So GOOD, right? Totally good. Actually, you know what the best part is this part right near the end. I’ll just skip ahead. Here, I think it’s... wait... it’s coming up... wait... yeah, it’s coming up. Oh, damn, I must’ve missed it. I don’t know if this is the full version. You know what video you SHOULD watch right now? Hang on, I’ll get it.
INSIDE
Dorm Playboy Up to His Ankles in Handjobs
Suicide Tweet Goes Unnoticed for Three Weeks
Dorm resident and junior year business major Bryan Kapynski is reported to be the most successful playboy at Building K since it was discovered that Tyler Turandot could play a guitar. “My secret? Get The Shins, some Popov, Cactus Cooler, Neutrogena and watch the long sleeves melt away,” he said between Rock Band sessions. “I’m getting so many bareback hand-Js, I don’t even know what to do with myself.” PAGE H30
The warning signs were all there in Noah Krauss’ 29 tweets, but the Twitter user’s six followers failed to notice any of them, or the final suicide tweet itself, for three weeks. The followers, comprised of members of the Wizards of the Coast online message board and a Twitter account Krauss had made for his cat, had all forgotten they had added Krauss. “i luv you kitty,” Krauss had tweeted just moments before @krausskitteh. “nobody knows me like youdo cuz you r always there wen i touch myself and its nice som1 watchs. nvr 4get me,” he added, well under the maximum 140 characters. PAGE Z67
Grandma’s Death Momentarily Interrupts Sip of Beer
PAGE ER0