Urban Outsourcers

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THESE ARE REAL ADVERTISEMENTS. PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS߃02

THESE ARE REAL ADVERTISEMENTS. PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS߃02


Winter 2011-2012

be hers in the daytime

and his at night

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My Boyfriend!s Boyfriend!s Shirt Planning to explore your sexuality this winter? Surprise your girlfriend with your secret manlover!s semen-stained t-shirt. She!ll love the soft comfort of wearing the clothing of her man!s man to bed. This item comes pre-worn and runs big, so be sure to size down. Every shirt smells of man and is guaranteed to last four washes.

$28.00 FREE SHIPPING ON ORDERS OF $600 OR MORE߃03


Urban Outsourcers

Dog-Gone it,

WKRVH DUH cute!

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)XU (PEHOOLVKHG %RRWV Plain ol’ taxidermy is so passĂŠ . This winter, reinvent your dead-asfuck pet with our “dog-goneâ€? adorable genuine fur boots. Simply mail us your deceased doggy (or killed kitten!) and we will create a oneof-a-kind look. Just because your puppy is dead doesn’t mean your fashion sense has to be. (Also available with human hair, prices may vary.) $79.50

߃'HFHPEHU ߃


Winter 2011-2012

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SWEAT THE

SMALL

STUFF

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The Cambodian Sweater )UDJLOH \HW ÁH[LEOH &KLF EXW \RXWKIXO <RX ZHDU KHU KDQGLZRUN QRZ ZHDU KHU :LWKLQ WKLV HFRQRPLF FOLPDWH WKH KDOWLQJ RI FORWKLQJ SURGXFWLRQ E\ FKLOGUHQ KDV JLYHQ XV WKH FRVW HIIHFWLYH RSSRUWXQLW\ WR JLYH \RX WKH FKLOGUHQ WKHPVHOYHV 7KH &DPERGLDQ ´6ZHDWHUµ LV FRWWRQ VZHDWVKRS VODYH JLUO 'UDSH ORRVHO\ DURXQG WKH QHFN RU ZDLVW 3HUIHFW IRU WRWLQJ DURXQG WKH FOXE RU YLQH\DUG \HDU ROG \HDU ROG \HDU ROG

FREE SHIPPING ON ORDERS OF $600 OR MORE߃05


Urban Outsourcers

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“Be Yourself” )5(( 6+,33,1* 21 25'(56 2) 25 025(߃


Urban Outsourcers

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The Nutcracker Jeans Tired of feeling the wind between your legs, or any sensation at all in your loins? Leave nothing to the imagination and cause irreprable testicular damage with our Nutcracker Jeans, just in time for the holidays. These jeans are a mix of 2% spandex, 48% raw denim, and 86% jareth. *Y\ZO `V\Y JHQVULZ HUK Ă…H[[LU `V\Y family jewels, and watch as they slowly atrophy and fall right off. Comes in stylish slimming, black. $152.99

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Winter 2011-2012

out with the new,

in with the old

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Distended Senior Slacks Look distinguished for the winter with a pair of distended senior slacks. Designed to resemble the protrusion of the lower gut that older gentlemen commonly display, these poop pants have an extended front that allows you to achieve that sought after “front butt” look. Match with a vintage blazer or members-only MDFNHW IRU D ´GHPHQWLD FKLTXHµ RXWÀW that will be all the rage at the sock hop. Diapers not included with purchase. $60.00

FREE SHIPPING ON ORDERS OF $600 OR MORE߃09


Urban Outsourcers

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6ZLPPHUŇ‹V +RRGLH $54.99 Don!t let the winter weather keep your water fun on ice. This hoodie will keep you warm in the depths of any pool or sea. Faux fur surrounding the collar and hood is engineered to absorb water and immediately boil it, ensuring your warmth and stylishness. As a bonus, this vest allows you to go for a swim without having to expose any of your weird nipples.

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7UXQN 6XVSHQGHUV What if there was a way to keep your swimming trunks held up around your waste? A way to ditch the fear of losing your trunks and revealing your wet wee-wee to your friends and/or family? There is a way: waterproof trunk suspenders. Finally you can swim without fear and look good doing it.

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Winter 2011-2012

BE THAT GIRL leggings as pants? ZK\ QRW \RXU ZKROH RXWÀW"

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Legging Suit Undergarments as outerwear are the hottest trend this season. Inspired by the leggings-aspants look, the legging suit offers the sleekness of a bodysuit and marries it with the skankiness of simply wearing leggings. Perfect for the low maintenance gal with no boundaries, the legging suit says bye-bye to cumbersome tops and pesky skirts and let!s you show off what your mama gave you. (But sometimes your mama gives you a lumpy butt and a camel toe, so we recommend \RX SDLU WKLV RXWÀW ZLWK 8UEDQ 2XWVRXUFHU EUDQG short-shorts.) So slip one of these on and prepare to hit the club, you dumb whore. $49.99

FREE SHIPPING ON ORDERS OF $600 OR MORE߃11


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