Trek Into Darkness

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Intro

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Issue 75.10 Molly Shannon, Editor-in-Chief editorinchief@lbunion.com Alfred Pallarca, Managing Editor alfredp.union@gmail.com Connor O’Brien, Art Director connor.union@gmail.com Trevor Desrosiers, Advertisting Executive advertising@lbunion.com Eduardo Vargas, Distribution Manager distribution@lbunion.com

ART & DESIGN Rose Feduk, Illustration Editor rosef.union@gmail.com

By Molly Shannon

Illustration by Rose Feduk

Abdallah Seoud, Assistant Art Director abdallah.seoud@gmail.com Michael Tewasart, Assistant Art Director tewasartm@live.com Truc Nguyen, Web Manager web@lbunion.com

EDITORIAL Heather Sandburg, Opinions Editor opinions@lbunion.com Veronica Craft, Community Editor community@lbunion.com

1. 2. 3. The Devil

Union

Wears Prada.

Jacky Linares, Athletics Editor Elizabeth Nguyen, Athletics Editor athletics@lbunion.com Renee Schmiedeberg, Arts Editor arts@lbunion.com

thrive

Katie Cortez, Entertainment Editor entertainment@lbunion.com Sam Winchester, Music Editor music@lbunion.com Camille Hove, Lifestyle Editor lifestyle@lbunion.com Chrissy Bastian, Literature Editor literature@lbunion.com Alfred Pallarca, Travel Editor alfredp.union@gmail.com Beatriz Villa, Food Editor food@lbunion.com Gumby, Grunion Editor grunion@lbunion.com Michael Wood, Senior Editor mwood.union@gmail.com

COPY & ASSISTANT EDITORS Jonathan Gutierrez, Joel Martinez, Eric Reid Hamilton ADVERTISING SALES INTERN Jacqueline Simon STAFFERS & CONTRIBUTORS Codi Georges, Foster Lackie, Kat Kilenya, Amanda Dominguez-Chio, Kyle Ng, Kamille Garcia, Janna Jesson, Cole Hughey, Jane Rios, Brent Tani, Sarah Keller, Zach Phelps, Kathy Holmes, Franz Swantko, Mario Lopez, Vanessa Coover, Christian Bordeau CONTACT US Long Beach, CA 90815 E-mail: info@lbunion.com

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Disclaimer and Publication Information: The Union Weekly is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of their individual authors, not the Union Weekly, ASI nor CSULB. All students are welcome and encouraged to be a part of the Union Weekly staff. All letters to the editor will be considered for publication. However, CSULB students will have precedence. Please include name and major for all submissions. They are subject to editing and will not be returned. Letters may or may not be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. The Union Weekly will publish anonymous letters, articles, editorials, and illustration, but must have your name and information attached for our records. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 500 words. The Union Weekly assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for claims of its advertisers. Grievance procedures are available


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Opinions

Illustration by Claire DeWilde

If it’s not you, why are you Check it before you wreck it! offended? By Foster Lackie By Codi Georges It’s that time of year again! No, I’m not just referring to my favorite season, Halloween (when the breeze becomes cool, and the feeling of arcane magic is in the air). I am refering to the moment when people decide society. My favorite time of year! It probably goes without saying that Halloween costumes tend to get pretty racy, and a common issue we’re seeing is people bringing attention to costumes depicting certain people of other cultures or ethnicities. Maybe I shouldn’t say “certain people,” because they’re moreso ideas of people. You know what I’m talking about: you see a girl dressed as a ghoulish geisha, or someone dressed as an Arabian prince. You also may have seen those posters online, “We’re a Culture! Not a Costume!” For the record, these costumes are often in bad taste. Unless it’s executed creatively or with some kind of expressive thought behind it, dressing as a caricature of another ethnic group just looks tacky. You appear culturally ignorant. And realistically, that’s the extent of it. So, why are people getting upset? Well, it’s looking to me like this issue is resting on a foundation of feelings. It would seem

What I’m trying to stress here is that

One cannot accommodate every possible instance, especially on something that’s so entirely subjective, and especially if people aren’t giving a concrete example of how this is actually harmful. All of that being said, I support anyone wearing whatever they want for Halloween. Yes, even Hitler. But if you want to look at this whole situation productively, maybe consider recognizing how your choice of dress communicates who you are. We’re aware of this outside of Halloween too. How you dress says a lot about you and your attitudes, and this crosses over into All Hallow’s Eve as well. We know that the line between intended harm and harmless costume is not always clear, but it’s important to consider it before immediately rushing to demonize another’s actions. Yes, intention does matter. By disregarding intention you are sidestepping a huge part of the context. If others are incapable of giving that thought, they are petty. It would seem the direction behind the “dressing up” part is decorating yourself as something you’re not, whether you want to be a Crayola crayon or a slutty Helen Keller. If you’re genuinely concerned about hurting the feelings of a Latino-American by wearing a sombrero for Halloween, then by all means, go as something else. There’s a huge selection of costumes to choose from. But more than often, those cries of outrage you’re hearing are not speaking for the whole ethnic group—they’re the indignant voice of the loud minority.

does not give you moral high ground...”

a stylized cliché of their cultural identity, and for this reason it’s seen as wrong. Peoples’ life experiences shape how they view society, and how they feel viewed by society. However, it’s important to note the ideology behind this issue, and its extension thereof. Thinking of going as a witch for Halloween? Well, if it hasn’t crossed your mind, witches are a religious group. There is an entire community of people who follow the Wiccan religion. What about going as a zombie doctor? Well, be careful, because I can see it now: “I didn’t make a mockery of me on Halloween!”

Halloween is usually my favorite holiday. I love the spooky decorations, the free candy, and the creative and kooky costumes people come up with. However, it’s hard to love a holiday that practically encourages people to behave in extremely racist and sexist ways. cultural appropriations exhibited every year. Essentially, cultural appropriation is one elements of another culture. For example, if you dressed up as a American Indian and you’re not an American Indian, you are perpetuating certain stereotypes of that cultural group. Cultural appropriation is apparent on a daily basis, with the newest bindi fashion craze and festival-goers sporting headdresses, but it is elevated during the Halloween season. Borrowing a culture for a night and

without the use of blackface, I can guarantee you that your costume wasn’t good in the If you’re a person of Northern European descent who thought it would be clever to disguise yourself as a geisha, American Indian, or “Mariachi Man,” you cannot disguise the fact that you are actually an costumes at home or in the garbage. My favorite part of Halloween has to be the fact that I can dress as a sexy version of something I’m not. HOWEVER, that aspect of the holiday gets shot down when someone refers to my costumes (or any girl’s costume) as “slutty.” That’s weird, because when I purchased the costume, it was not labeled “Slutty Nurse.” Contrary to popular belief, some women feel empowered and strong when they think they look sexy. The fact that my police

“Cultural appropriation is apparent on a daily basis...”

especially if that culture has experienced hundreds of years of discrimination. And don’t even get me started on blackface. In case you’ve never heard of the term, (because I know I hadn’t before a couple years ago), “blackface” is the use of makeup to portray a black person. It was extremely popular in 19th century American theatres, when black people were seen as the butt of many jokes. Blackface is typically used to perpetuate some racial stereotype (which is never positive), so it’s best to completely stay away from it. If you’ve even thought for a second about doing a blackface costume this Halloween, you don’t deserve a single treat. All tricks for you, if you’re THAT blatantly racist (Sorry, Julianne Hough!). If you’re one of those people that think your costume won’t be good enough

mean that I don’t respect myself. If I want to look like a hot bitch for a night, then I will. I certainly do not need your approval, nor do I care about what you think. It bewilders me that men think they have there are costumes for sale that are called “Skeleboner” or “Department of Erections Inmate.” Let’s try avoiding those costumes this year, gentlemen. I recommend going as a sexy feminist. Or, you know, you could be a sexy feminist every day.


Opinions

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Halloween Mini-pinions Photos by Sam Winchester

Smashing Pumpkins

By Heather Sandburg

I despise those who destroy pumpkins on

pumpkin guts. There are people, beside me, who carve out the best pumpkin and create a masterpiece, on Halloween. Then the trickesters destory their hard work. If you destroy jack-o-lanterns on Halloween, you are the worst of the worst. There are other means of tricks on Halloween; destroying someones property isn’t the way to go. Back away from my artwork and go terrorize some other neighborhood.

despise those who destroy carved jack-olanterns as a prank on halloween night. The pumpkin smashing tradition needs to stop. I spend hours picking out the perfect pumpkin and the rest of the time arguing carving that design, nearly cutting myself with the carving knife, and get elbow deep in

Wicca Appreciation As someone who practices a pagan faith, one of the things I enjoy the most about the Halloween season and times around this season is how much more commonplace and acceptable pagan and wiccan imagery is. Certainly, there are those that believe that the holiday is purely pagan (its roots are), but modernly it is a celebration that all can partake

By Kat Kilenya to listen and learn about a religious belief or faith other than their own, especially one that may involve the occult. My pagan practices, as well as Dia De Los Muertas celebrations, the modern Halloween, and other harvest celebrations are a great time to celebrate life, as well as honor death and the macabre in a very positive way. We face the dark, death and the occult with a ready heart during this time

most people more open-minded and willing

Costume Queen

By Renee Schmiedeberg

I love Halloween primarily because I can dress

up in general is great fun and all the more when I am expected to get crazy with it. I can get playful, wild, make art of the body I encompass and exhibit it everywhere I am. Change my pants, throw on a robe, drape a beard from my ears and I can go from Edward Scissorhands to Gandalf.

people staring at me. If the forces allowed, I for a single Halloween. When I say costume, I don’t mean a black dress and cat ears. That is not a costume. That is a dress and cat ears. Oddly, I feel more comfortable in a costume than I do in day-to-day clothes. That’s when you know it’s real. Dressing

lives without committing to any one of them; the exception being shape changer, of course.

Fashion Police I hate it when people act as some sort of costume police. I don’t mean critiquing appropriating cultures; I’m talking about when people shame someone for their costume or lack of costume simply because they don’t like it. If someone doesn’t want to wear a costume, it could be for a plethora of reasons. or higher for something he or she will only

By Jonathan Gutierrez wear once. Maybe that person doesn’t want to dress up because they have an itch on their left pinky toe—it doesn’t matter; dressing up is that person’s choice. And if someone wants to wear a costume that they feel comfortable in, I don’t think people should judge about it. If a be it (come to think of it, maybe I will too). The world would be a better place if you let people


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Community

Taking a Stance

By Molly Shannon

Events on campus move to end domestic violence and sexual assault

Photos by Christian Bourdeau

thoughts which come to mind generally have to do with costumes, spiked punch bowls, and candy corn. While October is certainly a time to prepare for all those and shed light on serious issues and themes, like breast cancer, LGBT history, bullying prevention, and domestic violence

Program Council recently held “Unite Against Bullying.” This week, our campus’s Women’s Resource Center and Project SAFE hosted a few events in accordance with October also being Domestic Violence Awareness and Prevention Month, including “The Clothesline Project” and “Take Back the Night.” Held at the Speaker’s Platform on

survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault, making the message that more powerful. This was an opportunity for survivors to express themselves and have their voices be heard, as well as encourage others to break the silence on violence against women. Later that same day, the WRC and Project SAFE hosted Take Back the Night. Students,

on the importance of domestic violence and sexual assault prevention, including representatives from Planned Parenthood,

faculty rallied together by marching through campus, advocating to put an end to domestic violence and sexual assault. In solidarity, the large group headed to upper campus with posters, signs, and even a mattress (in support of Columbia student

Students checking out the T-shirts of display for “The Clothesline Project”

two, three, four, we won’t take it any more. Five, six, seven, eight, no more violence, no more hate.” Eventually, they made it all the way to the Anatol Center, and it was there the most compelling part of the evening ensued. At 7pm, Take Back the Night attendees watched a special performance by InterACT, a nationally renowned social justice performance troupe based out of CSULB. The unique presentation featured overall messages of how to prevent sexual assault and violence and what you can do if you or a friend is a victim of assault. They enlisted audience engagement and participation in

awareness and prevention. We are fortunate to attend a school that brings attention to such important issues. Have you noticed CSULB has participated in all of these events, in one way or another? Fraternities and sororities hosted breast cancer awareness fundraisers, the LGBT Center held Coming Out Week activities, and USU

October 22 from 10am until 3pm, the Clothesline Project was an event to encourage dialogue regarding the often overlooked subject of domestic violence against women. Participants decorated T-shirts and then displayed them along clotheslines strung across the courtyard. Most of the shirts were designed by actual

Drawn to Rave

Long Beach Union Weekly recently received tickets for an awesome music festival called Escape: All Hollow’s Eve, which is an annual event that takes place Friday, October 31 and Saturday, November 1. It features a great lineup with some of the biggest artists today, like Armin van Buuren, Benny Benassi, and Afrojack. Being the nice people they are, the Union decided to give their fellow readers a chance to win the Escape tickets. But before continuing with the announcement of the winner, let’s first give a big shoutout to the people at Escape for hooking us up with these tickets in the first place. Thanks, guys! Now,

office, screaming in excitement. The Union wants to thank everyone who participated, and don’t feel bad that you didn’t win, because you still have a chance to win some

couldn’t be reached for comment since she was too busy running around the Union

Krista Rangel wins tickets to Escape: All Hallow’s Eve

One lucky student won tickets to Escape: All Hallow’s Eve

6pm to 9pm the Union Weekly is holding a Halloween-themed open mic night called ‘Spooky Jams’ at the Nugget. Grab some friends to watch, laugh, and maybe even step on stage to perform. Be there or be scared! (Get it? Like ‘square,’ but ‘scare?’

By Trevor Desrosiers

T-shirts decorated as part of “The Clothesline Project” order to convey this message. The final part of the event consisted of personal accounts from sexual and domestic violence survivors. With courage and strength, women of CSULB shared their heartbreaking stories openly and honestly—some for the first time—and were met with overwhelming love and support from their fellow peers and colleagues. The experience was moving to say the least, and a perfect way to conclude Take Back the Night. Hearing the stories of the fact that one in four women are victims of domestic and/or sexual violence, and many people are you know are affected either directly or indirectly by these issues. It is of the utmost importance that you support them!


Community

Enter If You Dare Get scared at Queen Mary’s Dark Harbor

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Are you a great writer and a dedicated worker?

By Chrissy Bastian The Queen Mary has always been in my

but never really got a chance. For the past few years, I’ve regularly visited Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights (HHN) so I knew I needed to hit up Dark Harbor before I graduated. To be honest, I set the bar a little high. The idea that the Queen Mary is actually haunted excited me the most. As I approached the entrance, I was greeted by a guy with skull face-paint. Everyone would look up at him standing on a distraction; the whole area is one big scare zone. There is no safe area. Ghosts and ghouls sweep past, eying us like prey. Dark Harbor’s actors are more intense and in your face than HHN. They, are much more likely to hone in on and follow you the next few minutes of your life. They are your new shadow waiting to growl at the perfect time to make you scream. Watch out for the guy with a whistle as he whizzes by on skates. They also know how to blend in with the ships shadows and corners: don’t assume there is nothing there, because there usually is. Be warned, the Haunted Encounters

Russian to Get Involved Join Russian club and learn about a new culture

By Joel Martinez

should be done with a good group of humorous people. Otherwise it’s a waste of 15 extra dollars. Make sure to knock a few back to make the experience more enjoyable. This event caters to those who drink because there are a few alcohol stands and a RIP lounge. The best plan is to go all the way in when all the way in the back. This maze is not for the claustrophobic! Be prepared for close Grab onto your buddy or date and keep them close. The darkness engulfs everything, so at times you have no idea where you’re going. You should follow a few tips and tricks: some places (the side stands) only accept cash so bring a few $20s. Also make sure you wear good shoes because you may be waiting in some long lines (not as long as HHN though, so no complaining). I don’t know if this is true for every night, but the night I sometimes. I would recommend dressing in light layers. So, take a deep breath and be ready to scream because Dark Harbor has come to port. Will you survive?

CSULB has a Russian Club. Yes, CSULB has a Russian Club, yet almost no one—apart from the people who are members of it—seem to know that this is the case. Not a single person I’ve told previously knew there was a club. I had the fortune of running into one of the faculty advisors, Dr. Harold Schefski, as he ran the club’s table at Week of Welcome. After a long conversation about Russian culture, literature, and politics, I signed up. Through the meetings and the Facebook group, I also had the opportunity to meet Dr. Dmitrii Sidorov. This kept me in the loop with their activities, and thus I had the fortune of learning about their movie series. On Monday, October 20th, I went with a friend of mine to go see “Pit #8,” the first of three movies in this semester’s film series focusing on Ukraine. This movie showed the lives of people from Donbass, currently a major center of military conflict, and

Now is your chance to show off your talent! We are looking for Copy Editors, Assistant Editors, and Page Editors! Contact info@lbunion.com for an application or for more details

how they depended on illegal coal mining to make a living. “Pit #8” was a powerful cultural testament documenting the hardships of bitter poverty brought about by joblessness and was the source of much controversy due to the content and its low display of Ukraine. This film series is a great way to cross the divide that lately seems in place between the US and Russia, and there are two screenings left (Monday, Nov. 3 and Monday, Nov. 17, both in AS-384). Dr. Sidorov and Dr. Schefski also informed me that they have received “College of Liberal Arts grant support to get some new titles related to Ukraine/Russia and therefore may continue screening films in the near future on topics such as the notoriously scandalous feminist group Femen, geopolitics of natural gas export from Russia, coal mining conditions, boxing

champions Klitschko brothers, blood collection in Russia, etc.” “Russian Club is thankful to Roman Kochan, the Dean of the Library, for help with making this series possible this semester,” said Sidorov. “Yet the Russian Club needs support to keep this film events happening: it is open to screening good works from emerging new talents.” They are also open to new people coming over and sitting in on a movie and joining in on a discussion, even people who know absolutely nothing about Russia and its culture such as myself. For more information about the film series or about the film club, shoot an e-mail to Russian Club President, Kendall Veith, at csulbrussian@gmail.com.


8 Athletics

Snitch It or Quidditch It By Jacky Linares

Photos by Oscar Bautista

Despite being a new one, they managed to reach to the most important competition known to Quidditch players and fans—the

became Rookies of the Year by making it to

Now, their goals are to again make it to the World Cup, and they’ve been recruiting who had no idea of what they were doing, but they made it all the way to the World Often enough, when there are a lot of novice players on a team, the best way to “break” these players into form is to throw them into tournaments, so they experience what

novices comes from Week of Welcome, serendipity (they did not need any Felix They’ve been alternating parks when they hold practices and been going to Seal Beach

They took what they learned from

Last September, the Quidditch team rose like a Phoenix from the ashes and started

players test the waters and practice teamwork versatile—be prepared for anything in this game,” says Moroz on what kind of mentality Hannah Moroz says that in order to have a good team, everyone needs to be comfortable

Being a co-gendered sport on campus, there’s a rule: there needs to be at least two

friends and once you’re in that mindset, that’s when people want to put in the work that gets

and vice versa, they need to keep things

chemistry within the team is established, the

a platform to see how women and men interact with one another in a competitive

and unfortunately there are instances of

“Anyone is welcome,” according to Moroz, whether you’re a woman, man, goblin, werewolf, half-giant or the The Boy Who Lived; their practice times are Thursdays 6pm to 7pm, and Sundays 3pm until 5pm at


FEATURE

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Trek into Darkness Bone-chilling accounts of how we lost our way Intro by Renee Schmiedeberg Images by Connor O’Brien

A good scare every now and then isn’t so bad—it’s healthy, even. At least, that was our mentality when several of us set out on haunted hikes around Los Angeles County. We grew tired long ago of synthetic haunted houses and

as taboo. When we are forced to confront it, we are told to handle

Halloween events cannot shake the fact that none of this is real. The guy with the realistic sounding chainsaw is chasing you, yes, but you know he’s signed a contract agreeing not to touch you. But on a night hike on a haunted trail, even the most miniscule detail is incredibly real. In our culture, anything to do with death and the dying is seen

books unsuitable for young adults

side of the emotion scale? This understanding of death is so the world seems endless. However, books in which characters die have brushing elbows with a ghost is been banned from some American middle schools and high schools. scale, there are those who can’t seem to get away from them. They delving into the world of the dead see ghosts in their own homes, feels exhilarating because of the ice-skating with friends—and they away from them. that unwavering reverence towards the dead and the idea of seeing them as more like ourselves our culture.

being know what to do next. Some

can be arduous—and even then, no one living could answer, but do not ask themselves why a ghost they want. And yet, why would so would know the answer. muddled. But what we can say for sure is that living beings will seek intense anxiety in exchange better afterwards.


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FEATURE

Tin Mine Canyon By Chrissy Bastian

Tin Mine Canyon - Part II By Katie Cortez

Serrano Homestead Site (Point Mugu State Park) By Jacky Linares

Lloronas


FEATURE

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Black Star Canyon By Katie Cortez

Serrano Homestead Site (Point Mugu State Park) - Part II By Jonathan Gutierrez

As we stood before the path, I was hopeful for a ghost sighting of some sort. As the night progressed, however, I grew less excited for a paranormal occurrence and became more afraid of running into a bear or getting lost. The sky looked phenomenal, but the night seemed to grow darker and darker. The surroundings looked straight out of a horror movie. We started to walk uphill, and of course, I became out of breath in pizza and chicken strips (I was REALLY hungry, don’t judge) I had eaten hours before. At times, the group became quiet as we focused on putting one foot in front of the other, and not falling down a hill. My partner in crime called out for my response, and I just couldn’t build up a response without taking too much energy. As we moved up, the hills were alive with the sound of my enormous legs rubbing against my jeans. I began to question my wardrobe. I mean, sure, if my body was found mangled in the trees the next morning, the park rangers would be taking notes on my high fashion choices, but I was beginning to think I should have worn something more comfortable. As I looked down, I saw my right foot peeking out my shoe as if shoes that weren’t already damaged. Needless to say, that right shoe was hanging by the tiniest of threads by the end of the night (pour one out for the homie; he was a ride or die shoe). By the end of the night, we came across a group of people who seemed ecstatic to see us. While most of the group stood back to tell them of our night escapade, my aforementioned friend and I decided to head back to the car. It was a good experience with good people, but it was about as paranormal as The Big Bang Theory is funny.

Internet sources say that Black Star is the place of choice for KKK meetings and paranormal activity. This only encouraged our curiosity. To get to Black Star, you have to drive through heavily populated areas to a mountainous seclusion that you wouldn’t know was there unless you really looked for it. We drove down the dirt road through the pitch black darkness until we hit a dead end gate. We met a few creepy people along the way, but once we started hiking we became hyper-aware of our surroundings. I could hear what sounded like people walking through the trees and chose to ignore it. We ran into a group of men we had met when because they heard what sounded like mountain lions when they got to the bottom of the canyon. This should have creeped us out, but it didn’t, so we kept on going. Soon after, a trio of boys we hadn’t seen before walked toward us out of the darkness. I don’t know if it was the darkness, but one of them looked like he had black eyes. They told us that when we came to the fork in the road, there would be a short fence on the right, but the actual trail went to the left. The boys suggested not hopping the fence because they could hear strange humming emanating beyond it. They said it didn’t sound like any kind of animal they had ever heard, but more like a large group of people humming the same, slow tune. The hair on the back of my neck stood up, but we wanted to hear the humming. We were determined to hear or see ghosts, so we kept going until we heard a loud voice coming from where the car was parked. It turned out that it was illegal to park where we parked after 10pm, so we hastily went back believe in signs, but I like to think that everyone we met on the trail who told us to be careful was a sign. I like to think that the park ranger asking us to move the car was fate’s way of telling us to stay away. I would like to go back again, but maybe before 10pm to avoid a parking ticket.

Conclusion By Molly Shannon

Why do we young people continue to do such reckless and stupid things (like take hikes at night), time and time again? Why do we compromise our safety and comfortable lives? Most people would say we’re in for the thrills and adrenaline rushes, while others would say young folk such as ourselves feel a false sense of invincibility. Then there are those who would conclude we’ve got nothing better to do with our time. The fact is that, it’s a combination. Obviously there’s no sole reason why we act in such weird, and sometimes dangerous, ways. We’re all just a big, confused bunch of goobers. We are at a critical point in our lives, discovering ourselves and whatnot, and this leads us to making mistakes every now and then. Sometimes these mistakes can be a form of release. We need to let out that steam once and again, whether it be in a minor or major way. Don’t judge us for our choices—some of them will make fabulous stories for our great-grandchildren one day.


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Arts

Fall Out of Summer Fashion Students In Fashion share wisdom on fall wardrobe (#OOTW) By Kamille Garcia

Photos by Tina Wisborn

The world in which we dress is an ecosystem where certain trends move in and out of season. In that sense, this time of the year is battling between the farewells to hot summer days versus the grand entrance of fall. The bipolar attitude of the weather affects the world of fashion, styling, and each individual’s mood and determination to doll up. Beginning from

Cindy’s Bold Burgundy

Llesenia’s Paisley Prints

Although maxi dresses are well known for being a classic summer must have, Cindy’s dress also comes with a well-known fall season color: burgundy. What makes her

Paisley is usually everybody’s favorite summer print. Its abstract nature gets along

and the pair of ankle boots. Additionally, the body chain spices up the sophistication. It is a perfect transition look!

sandals without forgetting the feel of fall due to the fact that she wears a long sleeved piece.

and detailed. Llesenia creates a sun-kissed

Kamille

Jazmine

Kamille’s Summer Vibes The trendy summer look of a crochet halter crop top combined with a pair of distressed, high rise shorts is currently a popular

blouse paired with high rise jeans and grey ankle boots. The neutral grey shoes function to counteract the brightly-colored blouse, which evokes feelings of summer. Furthermore, the black pants contribute

radiates fall vibes by wrapping it around her Her summer necklace and strappy black gladiators still maintain the summer vibe.

Catherine’s Cool Comfort

Ah’nesha’s Color Combo

When joined, a plain tee, knee high socks, shorts with suspenders, and an oversized grey cardigan, these pieces create a head turning ensemble anywhere. The unique combination

Similar to Jazmine, Ah’nesha utilizes fall and summer color combinations to achieve the perfect inter-season outcome. She wears

fall for. Catherine wears these stunners, combining sweet colors such as grey and soft pink for a gloomy fall vibe matched with a summer’s necessity: denim shorts.

Diana

Ah’nesha

matched with her bright printed romper, jewel pieces and a pair of strappy summer sandals. Her long vest puts warmth that functions due to the incoming fall, as well as its black tone, which is known as a heat contributor.

balance the summer feel for an overall

Diana’s Any-Weather Wear

she wears a printed scarlett summer dress matched with all these fall piece—safari jacket, scarf, and pair of ankle boots, her to believe that this statement would help on getting through the weather’s trickiness.

Valerie’s oversized v-neck tee is a perfect hot weather season go-to top. Just add on a hat, some ankle boots and you’re good to go!


Arts

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Telescope Into the Past Photographer lives life outside his lens Interview By Renee Schmiedeberg

Photos by Kyle Ng

Much of what we see of the world through, photography books, magazines, the Internet, newspapers, advertisements and even growing rapidly, it’s insightful to get some advice from a photographer. This week, we interviewed a photographer and CSULB Interior Design student, Kyle Ng.

Union Weekly: Why are you interested in photography? Kyle Ng: I started out wanting to learn about the camera. I had no intention of making a career out of it. What I liked about having a camera of my own was being able to tell and share my life story. I took pictures of my friends, where we went and what we ate. I was soon drawn to the emotions of these moments. I got into weddings and engagements, which was perfect for all the emotions and more. A lot of photographers try to stay away from weddings, but being around them has made me appreciate life and my family much more. It’s a little sappy, but I’m thankful and honored to be a part of such an important event in people’s lives. UW: What do you like to shoot?

The Space Needle at night from the Columbia Center in Seattle, Washington (top); a man is silhouetted against the sunset in Montana de Oro State Park (top right); wispy clouds entangle in the skies above Hoodoos at Bryce Canyon National Park (above); Kyle Ng throws a smirk at the camera in the middle of some Interior Design studio work (bottom left); a newlywed couple takes the First Dance at the LA Arts District Wedding (bottom right)

KN: I’m graduating in May, so I’ve been my BFA in Interior Design, so I’d like to do more architectural photography. It’s kind of tailor-made for me as I have a background in both disciplines. I would love to continue to out how I’m going to do that. Everyone on this planet has a desire to be heard, be known and be understood. In a world of Photoshop, it’s easier than ever for stories to be skewed. I strive to deliver images that are honest. We can pose people all day and fake it, but genuine emotions come naturally and can’t be forced. UW: Do you ever make your own sets for your photography?

KN: My portfolio consists of weddings, engagements, headshots, portraits and

KN: I wish. My favorite locations are city walls and forests. If I were to build my own, it would probably involve a lot of tea lights, water raining down and fog machines.

Central Coast and the Sierras. Photographing

UW: What do you like taking pictures of?

my favorite.

KN:

UW: What do you plan to do with your photography?

do and don’t get. It’s joyous to receive it and painful to be absent of it. It’s these moments in life that we realize what is most important to us.

UW: photos? KN: Kylemng.com and @kyleng on Instagram. UW: What words of advice do you have for other photographers? KN: The technical aspects of cameras, lenses, and lighting are really fascinating to me. I wanted to be a master of my craft so it wouldn’t get in my way of depicting the world. I think the success of any photographer isn’t in showing “cool” photos to the world, but rather the relationships the photographer makes with what he/she encounters. Photographers need to put down the camera, come out of hiding behind the lens and see the world with their own eyes. There is context to everything and if we can’t experience our surroundings, we lose the context of the moment. Let life happen and pursue the little things. Life wasn’t meant to be documented and archived, it was meant to be lived.


14

Music

Spooky Tunes With Halloween around the corner, the Union staff and contributors helped come up with a

This is Halloween My Body’s a Zombie for You Lullaby Devil Town Oblivion Lofticries In Heaven Everything is Fine A Wolf at the Door Bad Ritual Careful With That Axe Eugene Little Fang Seven Devils

Red Light Highway to Hell Supermassive Black Hole Room of Angel Requiem for a Dream Sally’s Song Bones The House of the Rising Sun The Carnival Tainted Love Dry and Dusty Arabella Feed My Frankenstein Monster Mash Thriller Runnin’ With the Devil Monster Mash Ghostbusters I Don’t Think About You Anymore But I Don’t Think About You Any Less

Marilyn Manson Dead Man’s Bones The Cure Tony Lucca Grimes Purity Ring Eraserhead OST Radiohead Timber Timbre Pink Floyd Avey Tare’s Slasher Flicks Florence and the Machine Metric Zombie Zombie Siouxsie and the Banshees Haim AC/DC Muse Akira Yamakoa The Beatles Lux Aeterna Amy Lee MS MR Lauren O’Conell Amanda Jenssen Hannah Peel Fever Ray Arctic Monkeys Alice Cooper Michael Jackson Van Halen Bobby Pickett & the Crypt-Kickers Ray Parker Jr. Hungry Ghosts

Illustration Mariha Lowe


Entertainment

Beware the White Owls Halloween season comes and goes, and for one month, some of the best scary movies come on television. Now, not all scary

15

By Heather Sandburg

Kind of footage. The movie blends the original footage of the hypnosis sessions seamlessly

the terror for me; they leave a subconscious

response to your experiences. With this, you are essentially nothing and the fact the aliens

as it comes closer to him in the hypnosis

capture each twitch, scream, and panic as the scene plays out in the footage next to them. While the actual footage was hard to watch, the actors did an amazing job showing what the characters felt as they relived their

and her own alien abduction story. The movie opens up with an interview between

represents in his mind. He murders his family in a shootout before committing suicide as he

can feel the desperation in her acting as she struggles with coming to terms with her husband’s death, her patients’ sessions, and her daughter’s abduction.

happening in 1972 before the movie shifts into the dramatic reenactment of the events. In the beginning, Dr. Tyler, played by Milla

out there?” The movie escalates with another patient’s hypnosis and converges to when Dr. Tyler falls victim to the alien abductions. From a cinematic perspective, The Fourth

thriller. The audience never sees the actual alien, only the victims they left behind and the impact on their minds. This adds onto

fascinating because of their unique plot and cinematic elements. However, there is one movie that scared me senseless and left me The Fourth Kind I still have trouble sleeping when things go bump in the night. The Fourth Kind covers the

concerning the “white owl” all his patients see. To get to the bottom of the mysterious owl, Dr. Taylor suggests a hypnosis session to one patient, Tommy Fisher. The movie then splits between the real the session plays out, Fisher gets agitated and

Not Suitable for Children With Halloween just a few days away, this calls for a scary movie to welcome the joyous

my own mind went into hyper drive: if it was this easy to abduct a person, who is to say I haven’t had this experience already? I recommend The Fourth Kind because of the acting and interesting storyline. If you The Fourth Kind movie plays with the mind and leaves you questioning your own memories. Hope you don’t dream of white owls.

By Amanda Dominguez-Chio

searching for their beloved son. In an attempt equally beautiful cinematography, which a scene that gradually builds the suspense. Without revealing too much, the best part of

engaging movies I’ve seen is El Orfanato (or The Orphanage). El Orfanato is a great story and creates suspense.

of the puzzle by playing the children’s game. memories and discover a hidden secret.

and her husband Carlos as they raise their adopted son, Simon. They move into an old house, formally an orphanage and the place

help from Guillermo del Toro by coEl Orfanato premiered at the Cannes Film Festival, garnering positive reviews and receiving a standing ovation.

this old house, Simon sees and befriends a few imaginary friends, including a boy named

cheap scare tactics (i.e. jump scares and loud music), El Orfanato allows audiences

haunted by El Orfanato. The character of doubted her and faced several obstacles, may not be for everyone, considering the

state, while still managing to leave a lasting Having

decided

to

reopen

the

Simon mysteriously disappears. We learn that Simon needs daily medication, so his disappearance causes more anxiety for

jump scares, but relies on the atmosphere to set the eerie mood. In an interview, Guillermo gothic themes to convey human emotions. Pan’s Labyrinth, El Orfanato is a fairy tale, that deals with loss

it. El Orfanato moments of tension and suspense, leaves

else in the world.”


16

Literature

A Play-date With “Strange Lolita” From urban legend to manga By Heather Sandburg

As I surfed the Internet for a new manga series to read, I discovered a new manga with the help of the “Surprise Me” button. The button led me to the main page of Ryou Haruka’s manga Ibitsu, and I was intrigued by I saw a young woman with long silver hair tied back with a bow. She was dressed in a ripped, dirty dress, and held a torn plush rabbit as she sat in garbage. Curious to why she looked this way, I checked the genre of the manga and found it was considered a horror manga. Taking a deep breath and satisfying my curiosity, I clicked the link and immersed myself into the dark tale. Ibitsu begins with Kazuki Itou on his way to dispose trash in the nearby trash pile. As he makes his way to the trash pile, Kazuki sees a strange young woman lying in the trash pile. Kazuki steps back in repulsion by body, torn and dirty Lolita dress covering her frail frame. She was sitting in sludge with her plush rabbit. In his repulsion, Kazuki answers the strange young woman’s question, “Do you have a little sister?” with a passing “Me? I do,” and seals his fate. Kazuki struggles with the supernatural as he discovers he met Japan’s urban legend “Strange Lolita.” According to the manga, the Strange Lolita wanders from man to man victim to her strange brand of love as he tries out more, Kazuki searches the web about this strange woman. He discovers no guy survives the Strange Lolita’s love. Her reaction depends on the answer given by the intended “big brother.” “No” means an instant death. him down, isolating him, making him her “ideal big brother” and giving him a “twisted” death. As the manga progresses, Kazuki experiences a personal nightmare by the hands of his “little sister.” Ibitsu, I was fascinated by the art style. Haruka’s art style entices the readers with detailed yet beautiful macabre imagery. The characters are attractive in her style, making it pleasing to the eye to read. The medium helps detail the gruesome urban legend; however, Ibitsu is very detailed,

making it hard to read during the torture scenes. The manga shows readers the full extent of Lolita’s mind as she kills all of Kazuki’s family once they argue with her or state that she isn’t Kazuki’s sister. I nearly stopped reading when Lolita tried to force feed Kazuki’s sister, Hikari, a soup made of dog’s blood. Stange Lolita held the eyeball in her mouth before swallowing the remains. Ibitsu scares readers with more than just the art style. The plotline plays with the mind as it contorts the comforting image of a son dealing with issues into something gruesome. It builds up the familiar elements, following the classic scary movie or story structure, and makes the manga into a cinematic feature in

the hands. The structure helps readers move through the gruesome scenes by providing something familiar to latch onto in hopes you can predict what happens next. Ibitsu will leave those who read its tale with chills as they navigate the plot line and immerse themselves in the urban legend. If you dare to read Ryou Haruka’s Ibitsu, you can purchase the manga online through any bookstore or Amazon. You can also read it online through manga reading sites. While the story is dark and amazing for a new urban legend, I do not recommend this manga to those squeamish with blood, defecation, body mutilation, stalkers, and violent deaths.


Lifestyle

17

Keep the Wrong One Out Advice on dealing with unwanted attention By Janna Jesson

Illustration by Michael Tewasart

Fit Life

I’m no expert on dating or relationships, but I do know a thing or two about how to keep the creepy crawlies from biting. I was once a naive, trusting girl who sometimes let people take advantage of her because I didn’t know what to do in certain situations. Alright, let’s be real, I’m still partly that girl. Here’s my guide to other naive, trusting women. strong force to be reckoned with. For me, I can only do this if I imagine my alter-ego. My alter-ego badass-ness comes out when I pretend to be Lisbeth Salander from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. She’s bony and strange-looking like me, and she doesn’t take

By Cole Hughey Four simple exercises to get you rocking. Go. 1. Squat Jumps. Drop down to the ground

ego, your mask, the badass woman within that you can call forth when the time calls for it. Like Mindy Kaling from The Mindy Project. Her inner warrior is named Beyoncé Pad Thai. Now, sometimes guys take you by surprise from what they say and do, and you

explode upward in a forceful jump, outstretching your arms above. Go for a few sets of ten or so at a generous pace. It’s not that bad. You can do it.

respond. Here’s some scenarios: Someone hits on you, and you’re not interested. This can happen at a bar, grocery store, or a else to talk to. Sometimes I excuse myself and go to the bathroom. If you have a friend with you, make sure she/he knows “the look,” which means you need to be saved. I’m an expert at saving my girlfriends who give me “the look.” If they ask for your number, and you don’t know what to do, give them the feminist hotline: 669221-6251. But get out of there before he calls it and gets told by some bell hooks quotes. Someone follows you. I’ve encountered this a lot because weirdos seem to love me. For example, some guy followed me down the street after school one day. He asked me my “status” or if I’ve “ever been intimate with a man.” Guys, if you’re reading this, this line of interrogation was taken. This is the best way to handle the situation. Tell everyone you have a boyfriend or girlfriend even if you don’t. His name is Ryan Gosling, and he’s way hotter than the guy who’s currently trying to get with you. I was once followed around at a gay club by some tubby 40-year-old dude with tons of body hair, which made his face pretty indistinguishable. I told my guy friend, Justin, to save me, so he did. Every time hairy tub came my way, Justin blocked his access. Someone invites you to an orgy. This happened to me in Barcelona at a club

one night. If you’re interested, go for it, but only if your phone has enough battery to call someone to get you out of there. If you’re not interested, do what I did: Run! I literally ran away from the situation. If you’re at a large club, like I was, it’s easier to hide yourself in a crowd. Someone keeps messaging you on Facebook to hang out. Sometimes I get messages from guys to hang out because I obviously didn’t like them enough to give them my phone number. If this happens to you, tell them you’re busy avoid it, so I just tell them I’m super busy! It’s true, anyway Someone tries to kiss you. I’m guilty of kissing guys back when they try make-out session, I was totally uninterested in the guy. Sometimes they just grab you or jump on your face. If you don’t want to kiss them, don’t! This is when you need your Beyoncé Pad Thai to come out and push the guy away or pull yourself away. Then say you have to go. You forgot you had something really important to do. Someone asks you to be his mistress. I got asked by a photographer whom I pay me 650 dollars. I blocked his number, yet he still managed to call me a month later from another number. I blocked that one too. Say no and block his number until he gets the hint.

Someone expects to have sex with you because he’s letting you spend the night. This has happened to me several times, both in the states and in other countries. It’s hard to avoid these situations, so I just recommend saying no and sticking to it even if he is persistent! One time in London, my me, and I just started coughing up blood. of grateful that my body did that so I could be like “I’m dying! I can’t do it with you!” If your body isn’t this generous, you can always tell them you’re not feeling well or you’re on your period or something. The truth doesn’t always work to keep them away. Someone is attacking you. I’ve never been attacked, but I’ve taken a women’s self-defense class. The basic rules are to get at least one hand free, lunge into the attacker, and don’t run away until you’ve debilitated them. Okay, Beyoncé Pad Thai, we’re gonna need you. You must incapacitate them before you run! If you have a hand free, go for the sensitive areas: the eyes, neck, and groin. If you don’t, they can just chase after you and catch you again. Never let yourself be pulled into a vehicle. If that happens, it’s the and/or lung your body into them. You can’t

Use your teeth and/or hands if at all possible to do as much damage as you can before you run like hell.

2. Sit-ups. Any form you’d like, just lift your chin toward the ceiling (not the wall in front of you) and keep your back as straight as you can. Do a set then alternate with a set of oblique-twisting crunches. Just bring your left elbow to the right side of your body and vice-versa. Do a few sets of each, at least 15 for every set and increase your reps as you get stronger. Damn, are those abs I see? Whaaaat? 3. Push-ups. You’ve heard of these, right? of someone who can do 50 push-ups and tell me what they look like. You don’t need gyms, benches or weights. You need push-ups. It works your arms, shoulders, back, chest, and core. If you can’t do a regular push-up, start with your knees down. Do a few sets of as many as you can. Challenge yourself. 4. Lunges. You can do them either walking or standing in place. Take a long step, sink into your hips, and drop your back leg to the ground while your front knee bends to a 90-degree angle. Distribute your weight using your back leg for balance. Do a few sets of ten or walk them out in sets of 20 feet or so.

week. That’s all it takes.


18

Travel

Now Boarding: Air Fantasy Many of us have imagined being a Pokémon master in the Johto region or perhaps buying a vacation package to travel to Bahavia with Meena and Corey. Unfortunately, United

Only the Avatar can save this world

It’s a mad mad universe

By Mario Lopez

By Joel Martinez

four elements…well, maybe only one of the

of miles per gallon—the only fuel needed is sheer will!

Avatar can master them all and bring balance to the world, but even one element would

Growing up, one of my favorite websites in the history of ever was newgrounds.com, which was and is my source of hilarious videos and classic of the series decorating Newgrounds, but it

coal to heat my own food; an earthbender, who can build a home out of rock in seconds; or a waterbender, who can heal wounds with Living in the world of Avatar: The Last Airbender seems like a dream come true trick in which you ride a ball of air as

For Madness Day 2009, Newgrounds frontman Tom Fulp released a game game recreation of the video Madness Consternation

the fire nation attacks…

Always somewhere in Nevada or Tokyo, my favorite part of being in this world would admittedly be taking up arms against the agents

It’s the witch of living By Vanessa Coover

The red landscapes, the bits of comic relief, and the everlasting presence of death would be the perfect way to free my sadistic, animal side beautiful, there is a haunted forest nearby, as

Packing for any weather learning how to harness your inner witch or

By Eric Reid Hamilton live there as well, fully embracing the lifestyle perfect for me to wear a T-shirt and shorts year-round, and for my girlfriend to have her light sweaters she always insists on bringing before nightfall, and the sun serves as a tool to simply light the world—without the added

even a slight rise or fall in the weather means

longer a need for windshield wipers, rain clothing style is designed and shaped purely

Illustration by Rose Feduk

A place where you can curl up with a light blanket or lay out by the pool, where any inclination that arises allows you


Food

By Beatriz Villa

19

Illustration by Rose Feduk

One night my friends somehow meandered into a heated debate about Del Taco and Taco Bell. They discussed for a solid 30 minutes which place was better. Better arguments rebutted great arguments about cheese, taco shells, desserts, and Mountain Dew Baja Blast. And in the end, they could not decide which place was better overall. In an attempt to prevent you, kind, hungry reader, from falling into the same trap as my friends, I put together a ragtag team of starving college students and set out on a mission to discover which restaurant is best. Sadly, we were divided and could not vote on the best. We have written our thoughts, and some employees comments’, on what we preferred at each place. I hope they help you choose where to go for a late night bite.

Del Taco vs. Taco Bell No hard feelings. –Taco Bell Employee I love Del Taco because it’s cheap, fast, and fresh. I love how they are all around Long Beach too: there is one on Carson and Cherry (where I live), at Long Beach Town Center (where I buy my movie snacks), and by school on Palo Verdes (where I sometimes I go for lunch). I think they have great quality food, which is why I keep going back. –Janet Rios The Buck & Under menu was great! I bought a bean and cheese burrito and a bacon quesadilla for $1.75. The beans taste pretty authentic here, and the bacon –Veronica Craft Del Taco has really good al carbon tacos, that wins it for me. The breakfast combos are cheap and really good; I always get the Egg and Cheese Burrito. I love breakfast burritos. –Brent Tani REAL CHEESE! They have real cheese. It goes perfect on their chili cheese fries; I like to add Sriracha. I go to Del Taco for a bean and cheese burrito and a chocolate shake. –Beatriz Villa Comparing the quality of Del Taco to that of Taco Bell food is pretty much like asking is rubbing salt or lime juice on a paper cut feels better. Luckily for both pseudo-Mexican chains, the two things that assure their continued popularity (namely, alcohol and poverty) seem to be in ready supply. That said, which one I’d rather drunkenly stumble into? Probably Del Taco. At least there’s some Spanish in its name. –Zach Phelps

I like Del Taco. –Del Taco Employee Sounds strange but they have pretty good favorites, it is nothing particularly mind blowing, but I love how you get a syrupy, cheesy, eggy taste all at once. It’s tasty. –Franz Swantko The Double Decker Taco is a hard shell taco covered over in a soft tortilla. What makes Double Decker Tacos special is the beans that are spread in between the hard shell and tortilla. seasoned beef and real cheese. –Veronica Craft Taco Bell has the new Mountain any other restaurant. I have to say that could be a win for me. –Brent Tani The Cinnabon Bites are so good. They are kind of like donut holes but they have a softly crunchy outer layer and a sweet creamy but I wish I had gotten a million. –Beatriz Villa No one goes to Taco Bell expecting quality Mexican food. Don’t get me wrong, it’s delicious, but when I go to Taco Bell, I know that I’m getting the highest quality fake-Mexican food a Cheesy Gordita Crunch because it was relatively cheap. The Cheesy Gordita Crunch is essentially a piece shelled beef taco with a layer of cheese in between. It’s a crunchy, warm cheesy goodness in my mouth. No matter what you order at Taco Bell, you can always count on two things: One, it’ll make you feel like you’re going to have a heart attack. Two, it’s be a delicious heart attack. -Katie Cortez


Volume 75 Issue 10

Monday, October 27, 2014

LBUNION.COM

DISCLAIMER: Elle Woods Here! You know, a girl in my sorority, Tracy Marcinco got a perm once. We all tried to talk her out of it. Curls weren’t a good look for her. You know what’s a good look? Writing for Grunion. Intelligence is always a good look. This page is satire/parody and does not represent ASI nor the CSULB campus. Submit articles via email to grunion@ lbunion.com.

Trash is Not Glam, Dress Sexy on Halloween

by Karen Smith

People get too real when it comes to appropriate Halloween etiquette. I literally lost count of how many times I got asked what I was for Halloween last year (I was a mouse… DUH!), perhaps because everyone was too focused on my breasts.

I feel that women are entitled to their life choices, especially when it comes to dressing up for a once a year festivity. Free the nipple, I say. We can’t stop men from staring at our bosoms, but we can at least do it with style. But there is a difference between being sexy and straight up trashy. Here’s a simple example on how to avoid the latter: booty shorts are sexy; wearing granny panties under them can be trashy. To

avoid making this mistake ever again, go to the nearest sex shop and buy a thong that are timers. If you’re a guy and want to be shirtless on Halloween, there are a couple of things you need to make sure. how, really. I’m pretty sure the guys at the party will enjoy any kind of beer. Secondly, get really wasted before anyone

else at the party. Finally, pass out on the couch and let your chest and belly be a canvas for your frat buddies. You will not remember a thing the next day, but hopefully you’ll enjoy the precious art that your body has become. To me, Halloween is the day where all the dress code rules can be broken so why not go all the way? If you wanna be a sexy pineapple, don’t let anybody stop you.

Last-Minute Halloween Costumes on the Fly Hey all! Halloween is quickly approaching! If you don’t have a costume yet, don’t fret! Look no further. I interned with E! Online and, therefore, I can equip you with the fashion knowledge to wow heads this Halloween, in outfits that will be sure to make your by Olive Wiener

it, I need a real man. Or even better—a good costume, to attract hot guys. To make Jason jealous. But I don’t care about Jason. Anyway, let’s move on. Second, I want you to go and open your closet. If you’re like me, you’ll see various pieces: Prada, Alexander McQueen, and the like. I mean, if you don’t, I feel sorry for you. But like, anyway, look at your closet to scope what you are working with. Then head to the Internet on your Macbook. If you have a PC (um, ew) that’s fine too. I bet Tamara has a

never broke up with you, science class. Screw you, Jason! And screw you, Tamara! First, get one thing through your head. No Frozen costumes! People keep doing those costumes over and over again. They need to just let it go. I watched Frozen with Jason and he cried like a little crumbbum. Oh my God. Anyway, he wanted to dress like Hans. Probably because they’re both

Look up Disney cosplays and such. One easy one is “Maleficent.” Angelina Jolie

and head to Target to buy some cute black horns. Don’t go to Walgreens or Walmart— those are only for the confused. If you’re short, I wouldn’t suggest Malificent. Maybe Miss Piggy? I bet that Tamara girl is going to dress up like Miss Piggy just because she’s a dumbbell. But that’s none of my business.

Tinkerbell is pretty good too. I mean, YAS. I mean, seriously, fairies literally give me life. Have you seen the movies? Then you know this to be true. Anyway, don’t fret there is always the other fairies to dress up as. They are all friends. Their costumes are all easy, just like Tamara. But then again, its none of my business. Anyway, who cares about Tamara? This article is all about me because I’m all about that bass. I mean, no, this article is all about you! Looking sexy. Like me. The number one rule to keep in mind is to be confident in what you wear! Don’t let anyone get you down! Unless you’re ugly. Like Tamara. Dumb bitch. Oh my God. You know what, I am done. Tamara you can keep that backstabbing princy douchebag. You two are perfect for each other.

INSIDE

JAY-Z TAKES PHOTO WITH A MASTERPIECE AND THE MONA LISA

LOCAL BAKER ARRESTED FOR PUTTING SALAMI IN THE WRONG BUNS

BUNCHA BAD BABES BANKIN’ AND BAKIN’ IN BLANKETS

NEW VOLKSWAGEN MODEL HAS EXTRA TRUNK SPACE


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