The Floptastic Food by Union Weekly

Issue 77.2

Intro

Katie Cortez, Editor in Chief editorinchief@lbunion.com Richard Mejia, Managing Editor manager@lbunion.com Renee Schmiedeberg, Assistant Managing Editor/Social Media Editor assistmanager@lbunion.com Trevor Desrosiers, Advertising Executive advertising@lbunion.com ART & DESIGN Sam Orihuela, Art Director artdirector@lbunion.com John Mueller, Graphics Illustrator illustration@lbunion.com Jose Hernandez, Photographer

Words by: Katie Cortez Editor in Chief

WITH MY WOES

EDITORIAL Elizabeth Nguyen, Co-Opinions Editor opinions@lbunion.com Beca Vega, Co-Opinions Editor opinions@lbunion.com Joel Martinez, Community Editor community@lbunion.com Bailey Mount, Campus Editor campus@lbunion.com Richard Mejia, Athletics Editor manager@lbunion.com Madison Gallegos, Arts Editor arts@lbunion.com Andrew Linde, Entertainment Editor entertainment@lbunion.com Elliot Gatica, Music Editor music@lbunion.com Jack Villalba, Lifestyle Editor lifestyle@lbunion.com Amanda Dominguez-Chio, Literature Editor literature@lbunion.com Marilyn Ramirez, Travel Editor travel@lbunion.com Kaila-Marie Hardaway, Food Editor food@lbunion.com Aubrey Graham, Grunion Editor grunion@lbunion.com STAFF WRITERS Lauren Hunter, lauren@lbunion.com Karrie Comfort, karrie@lbunion.com Sahar Kachroo, sahar@lbunion.com Cesar Cadeas, cesar@lbunion.com Sylvana Uribe, sylvana@lbunion.com Emily Ayers, emily@lbunion.com

The second week of school is starting and I already feel like I’m losing more and more parking spot, crossing the Sahara desert that is the parking structure to LA 1, sitting through hours of class, listening to people pretend that they’ve done the reading,

Graphic by: Sam Orihuela Art Director

that the actors who played them in real life were really in love. I have spent many nights watching the show, rooting for a love that I know full well works out in the end. This kind of deep-rooted love is the same love that I share with my bed. is still a 100 percent guarentee that I will sleep

have his claim to fame and be done with it. My point is that directors need to leave the iconic superheroes behind, and start portraying the lesser-known heroes for a change. Even if the content iteself isn’t exactly original, the story won’t be as familiar to viewers. Ant Man was surprisingly good, and I have high hopes for the upcoming Deadpool and Black Panther

getting up for an 8am class two days a week is I’m burnt out. I could not be more excited for winter break, and we’re only one week into the semester. I didn’t think it was possible to fall asleep must be narcoleptic because I’ve done it in three out of my four classes. It’s like the professor hits a certain point phone policy? More like: nap time,” and I spotted me napping from across the room the and laughed. I’m 80 percent sure that the professor noticed, but he hasn’t said anything to me yet, so I guess I’m good? When I was in high school, I was able to I would sleep in the quad at lunch, sprawled out across two seats on the school bus, at my desk, in classroom corners—I would sleep anywhere. Why was I so tired at 16? I still have no idea.

regrets teaming up with Marvel for the of Fantastic Four. The trailer introduced a promising cast and brought a dark spin to days, but was anyone really surprised that the movie failed? Yes, Miles Tellar, Kate Mara, and Michael B. Jordan are all very talented actors with a list of credible performance under their belts, but do they really scream superheroes? Eh, not really. We here at the Union Weekly wanted to

was putting out into the universe and decided

sometimes on one of the couches in the Union Weekly show up 20 minutes late, like a boss. My problem is that I don’t sleep at night.

student’s budget. So, our one and only option was to eat food from the Fantastic Four menu at Denny’s. I’m not going to spoil the rest of the feature for you, but you should know that we went into America’s breakfast diner with the lowest of low expectations after seeing the atrocity that is the Fantastic Four

underrated teen dramas of the the 2000s, Roswell

production companies will take to heart:

And if your idea for a romantic evening at the movies is watching Miles Teller wear a funny spacesuit, then take the advice of our awful, that the date he took to watch it never called him again. He hasn’t heard from her in a few weeks.

Toodles,

SNAP OF THE WEEK

COPY & ASSISTANT EDITORS Carissa Pope, Mario Lopez, Karen Ruiz, Sheila Sadr, Abril Burstein, Michelle Ha ADVERTISING INTERN YOUR NAME COULD BE HERE! CONTRIBUTORS Indigo Vu, Alejandra (Alex) Peréz, Anna Elaine Abella, Elizabeth Ortiz, Sarah Moffatt, Dave Chow, Paul LaPoint, Allison Meyer, Alyson Camus, Zane Roessell, Suzie Lopez, William Odis Martin COVER BY: John Mueller FEATURE DESIGN BY: Sam Orihuela

world would come in 2014, so in my mind, we are all living miricles because Earth was supposed to be taken captive by skinshedding aliens one year ago *SPOILER ALERT*. Hooray, human race! I’ve seen the three seasons of alien soap opera several times, and it might be the only heart. You see, the two main characters Max

Tobey Maguire awkwardly dancing down the doesn’t mean you need to make Spiderman 5: The Return of Venom. And I’m sure we can all agree that Ang Lee is a brilliant director, but an overly made, and almost ruined Eric Bana’s career.

Yes, that is a head of lettuce.

@UnionWeekly

Disclaimer and Publication Information: The Union Weekly is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of their individual authors, not the Union Weekly, ASI nor CSULB. All students are welcome and encouraged to be a part of the Union Weekly staff. All letters to the editor will be considered for publication. However, CSULB students will have precedence. Please include name and major for all submissions. They are subject to editing and will not be returned. Letters may or may not be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. The Union Weekly will publish anonymous letters, articles, editorials, and illustration, but must have your name and information attached for our records. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 500 words. The Union Weekly assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for

Opinions

The Tipping Point/Counterpoint Restaurant servers rely on tips from customers to supplement their salaries. Customers trust servers with handling their food and providing a pleasurable dining experience. Both parties are at each other’s mercy. So, what do you do when the bill comes but you waited an hour to be seated or your steak was overcooked? What goes through your mind when choosing how much to tip your server?

Introduction by Rebeca Vega Co-Opinions Editor

Re$pect Your Servers By Anonymous Contributor

Like many of you, I heard about Jess Jones, a waitress and part-time college student from New Jersey. She was serving a table of eight with a bill of $112.03. Jones discovered that the party paid the bill, but did not leave a tip, only a humiliating note, “LOL” written on the tip line. Granted, the party did wait over an hour to receive their food, but Jones argued that she did her best to make the customers happy. I understand that no one wants to wait over an hour to eat, but I do believe that the serving party was wrong to humiliate Jones in that way. What most people don’t know about the service industry is servers rely on tips to make ends meet. Not only that, but

servers often wait on more than one table, and she had to serve eight people, making sure their meals arrived at the same time. In my case, whenever I encounter bad service, I make sure to tip my server 10 percent instead of 15 percent to hint that they provided bad service. I understand that everyone works hard and attempts to do a good job, but to put a taunting note on the tip line is going a little too far. By leaving a ridiculing note, you show your server a lack of respect towards them anything, I think the serving party should have expressed their opinion to Jones, explaining why they were refusing to tip her.

Photo by Katie Cortez Editor in Chief

An Alternative to Tipping By Mario Lopez Assistant Editor

To tip or not to tip? That is the question. Being a son of a waiter, I will always tip great service at 20 percent, maybe more, if they exceed my expectations of what I believe to be great service. I always expect a waiter to come to my table and ask me if everything tastes good, even if my mouth may be full in delight while answering the question because it is just that good. I expect to be asked if I need more water, told the specials, recommended the best food, get my empty plate taken to allow more elbow room, and to just be treated right! If you rush me, are rude, make me wait an I will most likely tip 10 percent to nothing. I get it, if the place is abnormally packed and hectic, I’ll still tip the standard tip, but if it is a regular, chill Wednesday night, I expect some stellar service to earn that tip!

Here in California the wage for tipped workers is 9 dollars an hour, soon to be 10 dollars in 2016 (other states and cities varying more or less). The workers are paid more on average, compared to other states, and still make money in tips on top of that—being a

tipped employees is $2.13 per hour. Albeit, if that worker does not make the federal minimum wage, $7.25 an hour, in wages and tips combined, then the business is obligated That being said, in California, especially

“...businesses themselves should shoulder the weight of paying their employees a livable wage...” state of not having ‘tip credits.’ With the credit, businesses in several other states get away with paying their tipped workers. According to the U.S. Department of Labor, the federal minimum wage for

I think that the businesses themselves should shoulder the weight of paying their employees a livable wage by getting rid of tips altogether. I don’t know the logistics of it all, but I am sure businesses should be able

in cities near the coast, the cost of living is high. Nine bucks an hour just won’t cut it for a broke student paying for college, or a single parent that needs to pay a nanny to be able to pay for diapers.

employees without making me feel bad for being a bad tipper. It isn’t just about me and my feelings; people need to eat! As a person that has never worked in the service industry as a tipped employee, I cannot say that I know the struggle of trying to maintain a sustainable income, wondering whether I will have enough money to pay the bills this month. I can say, however, that tips are cool if you are cool with tipping, but there employees and customers, and just pay the workers what they need.

Opinions

Dear Donald Trump, I hardly know where to start. When you first announced your candidacy for the presidency, I giggled a little. How quaint. I thought, “well at least I know this man can at least run a business,” which is more than can be said about most. Unfortunately, then you opened your mouth. It was all downhill from there. Although I am quite aware that some of your comments on Mexicans being rapists or murderers were slightly out of context,

you still don’t strike me as someone with a solution. Immigration is, was, and will continue to be the life blood of this country. I would urge you to look at the projected numbers for the Hispanic population. I was also scandalized, one might say, by your comments on various women. I would tell the readers, but it’s really too obscene to print. Including a particularly alarming comment about your daughter being someone you would date, if only she wasn’t your daughter. Not only are you illiterate on many policy items, you’re also a creep. “He’s not as crazy as you think,” Think Progressive said, which of course completely convinced me of your sanity. Any thinking person

“Immigration is, was, and will continue to be the lifeblood of this country.”

probably thinks he’s even crazier than the so-called progressives at Think Progressive appear to assume. Nothing like building a wall to make you a progressive. Speaking of walls, if you haven’t noticed, a good deal of other Republicans have built one between their party platform and yours. I mean, really, you’ve insulted John McCain, calling him not a hero. Now even I don’t agree with any of the neo-conservative wars we’ve had in the last decades, but I wouldn’t go so far as to defame someone who was tortured like that. It’s insulting, unwise, and confirms to me exactly why you shouldn’t be the face of America. I mean, Beyoncé would be a better choice. And finally, this part is addressed to the

mess of a toupeé that sits upon your head. Dear sir, I know that you see everything from an elevated perspective, so I beg you, please stop. You are only contributing to an arrogant, narcissist’s narcissism. You can do better. Find the head of a cancer patient, or even an actor, I mean I’m not picky. It’s a free market after all, your services are better spent else where…well unless Bernie gets elected, then no more free market. But I digress. Mr. Trump. Get thee to a nunnery. Sincerely,

“A Love No One Could Deny...” We all should be like Miley Cyrus By Cesar Cadenas Staff Writer

ever since her style change in 2012, and again in 2013 with the release of “Wrecking Ball.” Say what you will about Cyrus twerking onstage at the VMA’s, but we all needed that shot of bravado she oozed out. I would go as far as to call Cyrus a role model for adults. Granted, there are, technically, better role models for adults, like athletes or philanthropists. However, she is a better role model for adults because

she is not a coward. In my experience, many people are afraid of truly living life and taking risks. I am not trying to paint people under a single brushstroke. As far as I know, I’m wrong and everybody is living life to their heart’s content. But I don’t really believe that. If people did, then the self-help industry wouldn’t exist. Our insecurities wouldn’t cripple us. Sure, Cyrus’ style isn’t for everyone. I’m

not the type of person who wears elaborate, revealing clothing, but I respect her for her sincerity. She works hard for her craft, whether or not we’re fans of it. We all need to do the same; tackle the things that make us afraid, and revel in what makes us happy. And Cyrus loves entertaining the people. You’ll notice that she is never in the news over breaking the law or illegal activity. The vast majority of the time, she is in the news about her music and work, her sexuality,

or something positive going on in her life. Very rarely is the news on Cyrus something negative. Nobody has to be a fan of her to like her as a human being. Actor Bill Murray said it best, “I’m was not particularly convinced. Cyrus is really fucking good. She can really sing.” If a celebrated comedian vouches for Cyrus, then

Heroes Under Fire Shooting in Virginia exposes dangers in journalism In 2012 there was a shooting in Aurora, Colo., that for months afterward left Americans afraid to go see a movie. When Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut experienced a deadly intruder, parents no school in the morning. As Americans, we board airplanes fearing a terrorist attack, and we drive our cars worried that the next accident will involve us or a loved one. And on Wednesday, Aug. 26 the unexpected deaths of journalists Alison Parker and Adam Ward singed Americans with yet another devastating tragedy. Violence seems to have crept into every corner of our lives, creating a sense of anxiety while carrying out everyday activities. The most recent shooting is one more area tarnished by the vicious backlash of an angry and troubled individual.

Professional journalists now have a new dread to tack on to an already long list: that their lives can be taken during a light-hearted interview. As a student of journalism, this incident has provoked not only sadness, but a deep concern for the issues our country faces. I think it is essential that despite the crimes committed against these innocent

faced with situations such as this. Instead, we can create opportunities to improve overall safety for journalists, be it guidelines or emergency protocol. Also, we can deal with troubled people in a way that de-escalates the potential for hostile reactions and strive to eliminate discrimination. Journalists are information-gatherers,

“Violence seems to have crept into every corner of our lives...” people, we allow ourselves to be fueled into creating lasting changes. We connect with fear in so many other areas of life that we simply can’t let it seep into how journalism is pursued. We can’t allow ourselves to shrink when

truth-seekers, and story-tellers, who are constantly striving to create transparency in a world full of dishonesty. They are the connecting link between people, exposing new ideas and stories that otherwise wouldn’t be encountered.

By Emily Ayers Staff Writer When cataclysms such as this occur, it easily makes me want to turn away from everything that would make me a good journalist. By “everything,” I mean the ability them. To make people feel like there still is seem to be exposed to are the downsides of humanity, but I think there is still goodness to gather. Parker and Ward died pursing that very bad, and delivering it to people. It doesn’t make it any easier to digest losing these two. It does, however, put into perspective the greater good that they were working towards as journalists.

Campus

The Future of the President’s Scholars

ASI Spotlight: Meeting the Associate Justice By Karrie Comfort Staff Writer

Unanswered questions leave many students uneasy Story by Bailey Mount

Campus Editor

Photo by Katie Cortez Editor in Chief

They’re Here, They’re Queer, and They Want You to Know It Queer and Allies Club provides an inclusive environment for all CSULB students

Story and photo by Allison Meyer Contributor

Literature

Stranger, Then Fiction Sonder: the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own

Filtered Reality

Story by Sylvana Uribe Staff Writer Illustration by Paul LaPoint Contributor

The sun hangs over three girls sitting crosslegged in the grass next to the third Liberal Arts building as they compare schedules in the midst of laughter and excited squeals. With every high-pitched “yay” and “oh, my gosh,” I take it as an indicator that they’ll have time to meet up between classes, not one of them willing to admit spending too much time alone is foreign to them. The outbursts dwindle as two of the

but I’m certain she’ll spend hours swiping through each one, tearing the image apart

copies of their schedules and they begin tracing a meet-up route in the grass with

she bring it up in conversation if she doesn’t share it with her followers? The photo will make its rounds through social media and later be forgotten as more

girl to wander. She takes a sharp breath spots a squirrel body tenses, almost in fear of making any movement that would send the furry creature away. Slowly, she tosses a remnant of an

Valencia, Sepia, or Lo-Fi? Does it even rushing to her head because an incident like this can’t be shared without the perfect caption. What about a hashtag? Will it get any likes? Or will she deem it too silly to post and trash it all in the end?

and praised by the Like button. She’ll continue on her search for approval in her interactions with others and behind a her way. It’s become second nature.

inside her bag and then re-emerges, now under the squirrel’s weight as it reluctantly

“...the girl’s attack of choice is to capture the squirrel in the All of this went unnoticed by her pixelated memory of companions who remain in a trance. She tucks her phone away, her phone.” like the huntress she is, the girl’s attack of choice is to capture the curious squirrel into the pixelated memory of her phone. Mirroring the swift motions of

To: The Boy in the Library A young woman ponders about the details of a tattooed scholar By Emily Ayers Staff Writer

The collage of children’s books behind mysterious, even. Every so often he clenched his jaw in concentration, and I wondered brown curls on top of his head and when he stared down at his notes he scratched at his “Who are you?” I wondered. From his plain navy blue tank top and light-wash jeans, I sensed something carefree shiny black motorcycle helmet on his table. It prompted all the stereotypical advice I’ve heard about staying away from “bad boys.” Yet I didn’t care.

deepened when he began writing. And as he hunched over his notebook, I caught a glimpse of a tattoo located on the left side of his arm. All I could make out was a thin rectangular shape that came to a point right under his armpit, which made me curious about the rest. What set him apart from the other students in the library was the fact that he never broke focus. Others would glance up anxiously from their computer screens, refreshing social media pages that had no new content, and self-consciously trying not to eat snacks too loudly. But I hadn’t seen him seemed unbothered. I liked that he seemed simple, not one for

was happening around him, keeping only the essentials: a pen, a notebook, a laptop. I tried but I was still curious as to what his major was, or if he was close to his graduation date. Although my curiosities have ceased for about the nameless boy from the children’s section. I think the not knowing is the intriguing part. I may never get the chance to learn the simple things about him, yet I like creating my own narrative about who I think he may be. Perhaps if I see him again I will have enough nerve to strike up a conversation about motorcycles, or tattoos, or how unfocused colleges students are nowadays.

Athletics

These (Soccer) Girls Are On Fire 49’ers start off the season with a huge upset over #4 UCLA By Richard Mejia

Managing Editor

The 49’ers boisterously opened their 2015 season with an absolutely shocking, 1-0, upset over nationally-ranked #4 UCLA Bruins on Following an inconsistent 2014 season, a focused and determined 49’er squad revealed their talents against a supposedly individually superior club. With the step up in competition, the 49’ers displayed elite patience and ball control. This style of play created a back and forth between both teams that didn’t see a score until the 67th minute where senior forward Vania Robles from sophomore forward Ashley Gonzales. The upset sent the record-breaking crowd Even though CSULB plays in a NCAA Division-I conference, the Big West, there is an undeniable contrast to a conference

Illustration by Susy Lopez Illustrator

like the Pac-12. The larger conferences boast overtime loss to Auburn on Sunday, Aug. 23 better teams and achievements by virtue of and a narrow 2-1 victory over Iowa State on greater funder, scholarships and of course, Friday, Aug. 29. The 49’ers currently stand prospects. With the Big West consisting of at a combined record of 2-1 and seemingly the Div-I CSU’s and UC’s (not named UCLA), poised to achieve more than last season. The it is understandable that these schools newfound attention to ball control has be might not have access to the same recruiting apparent early in the season. This was allowed pipelines as the bigger for less team mistakes programs. However, “[S]eeing those girls and more high percentage the cohesion and play of play their hearts out scoring opportunities. women’s soccer program Former CSULB student at CSULB is the biggest and come out on top is Elbia Rueda said,“It’s always intangible element that such an overwhelming allows the little guy have game, especially as a seasonexperience.” ticket holder, so seeing those Those women might not have been the girls play their hearts out and come out on top is such an overwhelming experience.” The 49’ers are back in action Friday, Sept. but that night, the were absolutely the best. After their major upset victory, the 49’ers 4, against the University of San Diego in their have gone a combined 1-1 with a 1-0 double

September Schedule* •9/4 at University of San Diego •9/6 vs. Portland State •9/11 at Loyola Marymount •9/13 at USC •9/17 at Cincinnati •9/20 at DePaul •9/26 vs. BYU

*via longbeachstate.com

FEATURE

The Floptastic Food Doom Returns

WOW!!!

Intro by Katie Cortez and Richard Mejia Photos by Jose Hernandez and William Odis Martin

There comes a time when every franchise should try to do something to revamp itself. Update its image to make it more appealing to modern society. Earlier this August, Marvel, in collaboration with Twentieth Century Fox, attempted to do just that with its release of Fantastic Four. Unfortunately for the two multi-billion dollar

Both, however, are completely the same. Prior to their releases, they showed great promise. The media, garnering large kudos for its strong, young advertisements portrayed these elegantly crafted dishes that were seemingly delicious and somehow

and sub-par acting from actors who generally An incomprehensible plot line, lack of legitimate character development and a disappointingly lack marketing department tried hard to promote the of cast chemistry killed the movie. The food had satisfaction, but it still failed to live up to its hype. opportunity to try and get something meaningful out So much hope and expectations were placed on the It is clearly indicative of the Fantastic Four quality when we are forced to compare it to similarly themed dishes at a mediocre restaurant franchise.

FEATURE

! ! ! S AS

The Invisible Woman Slam By Sylvana Uribe I had driven by advertisements plastered on billboards and Denny’s restaurants showcasing meals inspired by the latest rendition of the Fantastic Four, so I wasn’t completely oblivious to the buzz the film had created nor the outcries of regret and blatant disappointment from those who had seen it. Arriving at the theater on a humid Monday afternoon, I questioned if I too should accept the ticket fees like the five others who had claimed seats for the matinee viewing of the Fantastic Four. The air conditioning had already reeled me inside so I sealed my fate and swiped my credit card. An hour into the movie, I completely forgot I came for the superheroes and was convinced I was instead watching emotionless nerds build an expensive machine so they could travel to another dimension. Considering I had the entire back row to myself, I gravitated toward browsing my newsfeed and sending Snapchats to friends about how stoked I was over the theater’s reclining chairs. Indeed, talking about chairs captured my attention much more because to say the film was

riveting, well, even Mr. Fantastic would think that would be a bit of a “stretch.” I abide by the belief that food is a way to the soul and there was a shot at redemption in the form of the Fantastic Four dishes at Denny’s. Scanning the small list of options, I settled on the Invisible Woman Slam which included blueberry pancakes served with a transparent citrus glaze. I love breakfast foods and wasn’t bothered by my sunny side up eggs that were left a little too long on the griddle or the bacon that was a bit on the dry side. But when it came to the only part of the meal that alluded to one of the characters, my senses were attacked by how painfully sweet it was. The pancakes sank into the plate as the glaze began to solidify, but I followed through and had exactly four bites to appease my obsessive ways of sticking with the theme. Reflecting on the overconsumption of Fantastic Four, I’m choosing to not linger in dismay, much in the same way the film failed to leave a lasting impression. The slight heartbreak over coming across a breakfast I didn’t enjoy will also fade away.

Human Torch Skillet By Amanda Dominguez-Chio Earlier this year, upon seeing the trailer to the rebooted franchise, Fantastic Four, I was excited to see what Josh Trank and Co. would bring to the series. The new movie seemingly displayed a dark take on the superheroes, a pretty stellar cast (Miles Teller, y’all!) and action. Instead, I wasted about 90+ minutes of my time watching bland characters, an excruciatingly slow plot “advance” and Kate Mara’s blonde hair change shades of color. You would think that a movie about a group of people that have superpowers would have chemistry; alas, these four talented actors lacked chemistry, not to mention character arcs. The only thing that I liked about the film is after they return from Planet Zero, Reed crawls to help Ben, only to discover that he can stretch his legs. I liked that scene because Josh Trank promised that when the Four receive their powers, he was going to incorporate a horror aspect to the film. Too bad the film didn’t live up to

anyone’s expectations. I started to count the number of product placements shown in the film. That’s how bored I was, guys! It was not much compared to the number of product placements featured in Michael Bay’s films, but I digress. Prior to the film’s release, Denny’s promoted breakfast specials with the Fantastic Four serving as their theme. So, I ordered the Human Torch Skillet, complete with eggs and sausage, accompanied by potatoes, bell peppers, onion, jalapeños, and pico de gallo, all served on a sizzling hot skillet. I was impressed with my meal and how it lived up to its name: the addition of jalapeños and pico de gallo gave the meal a picante flavor. Whoever created this meal deserves props for putting all these ingredients together and creating such a zesty and savoring flavor. Eating this meal reassured me that some people do put in effort into their craft.

FEATURE

The Fantastic Four Cheese Omelet By Cesar Cadenas

The Thing Burger By Joel Martinez When comparing food to a movie, I find it difficult to establish a parallel. Thus, I was extremely surprised and even pleased with how well Denny’s visually constructed their “The Thing Burger” as part of the promotional menu commemorating the movie. The cheddar bun and the hash browns give the burger a visual texture resembling the rocky skin of The Thing, which really was in itself enough to sell me on the dish. I have a soft spot for Marvel comics (to which this appealed directly) as well as for both bacon AND an egg on my burger. Basically, the expectation for this burger and the wavy fries accompanying it were pretty high, which is not something it had in common with the movie. I had the expectation of the movie being a flop as there hasn’t really been a successful Fantastic Four film to date, and seeing The Invisible Woman wielding force fields in the commercials turned me off to the movie almost right away. As a result, I chose to wait and hear the word on the street before going to check out the movie myself, and I heard it was total ass. After finally seeing the movie, I can’t help but agree. Perhaps the biggest inconsistency in the movie is the way Dr. Franklin Storm

kept pushing these four loosely related individuals to work together as though he knew that the incident that would give them powers would happen. I agree wholeheartedly with Jeremy Jahns that the inconsistencies in the movie (like Victor Von Doom correcting Reed Richards’ work when Richards is confirmed to be the smartest person in the Marvel Universe) make the experience altogether unenjoyable. And that’s where The Thing Burger does better than the film. The Thing was part of an unenjoyable cast. The Thing Burger was at least an enjoyable dish. Although, in the long run, both are forgettable. Sure, the commercials for the burger made it look amazing, but actually biting into overly crispy hash browns, slightly stale cheddar buns, and the questionable “Thing Sauce” turned out to be underwhelming. It’s not a bad dish, but it is mediocre in all aspects except visual. Sure, it’s better than the movie, but that’s not saying much, and since there really isn’t anything else pushing forward the burger, I’d advise people to pass on ordering this entrée from the Fantastic Flop menu.

Denny’s has succeeded in making the most inoffensive omelet in the world. It may sound strange that food could be offensive, but the omelet was perfectly engineered to appeal to everyone that it failed at being memorable. The omelet isn’t bad or anything, it’s not that I wouldn’t recommend it, but at the same time the meal isn’t something you’ll look back with reverence. All of the Fantastic Four plates look like something that would normally be served at Denny’s. There’s nothing fantastic about the six (not four) dishes. Despite having six plates, Denny’s still forgot to include Mr. Fantastic into the line-up. Everybody will find something enjoyable about the omelet and there wouldn’t be complaints. But it isn’t even worth the time to eat. You’ll forget you’ll have eaten it the next day. It is the wallflower of all breakfast foods.

The Denny’s dish has fillings, which consists of grilled onions, mushrooms, spinach and four fantastic different types of cheese. It comes with a side order of salt that looks like hash browns with the choice of being able to put gooey cheese and fattening bacon on the browns. Also served is a side order of either toast or english muffins drenched in butter. It’s amazing how well presented the omelet is. Everything about it is lacking in personality. In spite of this, it’s certainly better than the movie. The movie had no story. The omelet certainly did. The story began when the chef cracked the egg open, the middle peaked when the omelet was served, and the finale came after being eaten. The merit the omelet has over the film is that it at least had a better conclusion.

Lifestyle

Why Fats Shouldn’t Be Avoided Embracing particular foods prove to be Story by Cesar Cadenas Staff writer

Illustration by Sam Orihuela Art Director

The general consensus aboutfat is that it is inherently unhealthy and should be avoided at all costs. That isn’t the case as fats and

types of fat there are. Tran fats should be avoided. They have no nutritional value and are the type of fat people talk about when mentioning harmful fat. Saturated fats come from red meat, whole milk, cheese, eggs, and other foods. While saturated fat isn’t the healthiest, it plays a key role in the production of cholesterol. Cholesterol has the important role in the creation of and maintaining cell walls and structures. Unsaturated fats are the best fats a person

Before getting into which fat should be eaten, we need to discover what fats are good for. Fats are important to the basic function of the human body and according to the National Institute of General Medical Sciences, “...store energy, insulate us, and protect our internal organs.” Health is the key focus. Fat isn’t the main culprit making people over-weight; it’s sugar. Glucose is a form of sugar commonly obtained from carbohydrates, and interferes with insulin when eaten in excess over time. to eat more while increasing the levels of insulin in the body. Healthier fats, such as saturated and unsaturated fats, are better for the body because they replace carbohydrates as the main fuel source. Fatty acids are much actually result in eating less.

ChitChat With Jack in a lecture hall for this one class you’ve been

going right. Before you know it, it’s time for your phone and two seats away from you is your ex. Not just any ex. The Ex. The Ex you’d rather see get hit by a train then see sitting a few feet away from you. “I’m the better person. I can get through this.” Turn to your left. Fuck. There’s that person who’s convinced you two are best friends, but in reality, they can’t pick up your social cues of you backing away every time your mother brought you up correctly. the chair. Who needs good posture? Look to your right. Fuck. There’s that person you hooked up with when you were drunk and lonely and they have been blowing up your phone ever since— a solid reason why you’re not texting back. Take the hint, dumbass. social hell. How do you deal with this? Can’t

slouch in that chair forever. What if this was a class of thirty and not two hundred? Lucky for you, I have developed a way to deal with the people in your lecture hall or small classroom without blowing up in their face. If it’s in lecture hall its actually better to sit in the front to avoid these kind of people. Out of sight and out of mind. If you don’t see the ex, odds are once class starts the thought of them will just chill in the back of your head

move. Who really wants to talk about the drunken hook-up with a professor buzzing around. Nobody. Then if they try to talk to you just say you are recording lecture and the last thing you want is their voice over, in a nice way, of course. If sitting in the front isn’t your thing make the wall your new best friend. Sit against it to decrease the chances of anyone sitting by you. Odds are if you’re sitting next to wall to avoid people “This article is about how to deal with the others are doing the stupid people in your lecture hall or small same too. A new best classroom without blowing up in their face.” friend could be made by avoiding people. as lecture goes on. Be classy. If you act like That’s how I socialize. a bitch it will only enforce the reason why Now, what if this was in a small classroom and these people were in here? As horrible act adorable and successful, they can’t say as this sounds you might have to address the anything bad about you. awkward tension or pure hatred radiating As for the annoying friend, either duck between you and the ex. Just talk to make and cover like the earthquake from Hades things to be tolerable. If that doesn’t work is sitting in the front. It’s hard for anyone to talk over the professor when they are and obviously the adult of the situation. lecturing to a class of two hundred. It’s also the perfect opportunity to tune out anyone one redeeming quality. Like, “I love how you and just focus on the material in class. set records.” for the “uh-oh” hook up to try to make a Another quality could be how they always

fats, especially unsaturated fats, are good is because they are essential for the upkeep of the body and sex hormone regulation. Fatty acids aid in brain communication, and regulate sex hormone creation. Of course, fats need to be eaten in moderation. Eating a lot of fatty food won’t make a person smarter. It is important to do homework and learn about food and its place in the body. There is more to food than simply eating.

By Jack Villalba Lifestyle Editor

kidnapped don’t worry, I’m sure they will As for the “uh-oh” hook up, either talk to yourself in the corner so they think you’re crazy or just talk to them. Starting things way of saying it’s you dumbass and I’m just trying to be nice about it. Be straight with them if they are being a jerk about blowing up your phone and don’t feel bad if they have it coming. But if it’s a nice person who just can’t take a hint or they are in love with you just be nice. What if you were that person? If all else fails, just be an adult in all these situations. It just makes you look better. were excited for the class. People don’t make the class fun, your interpretation of the class makes it fun.

Chitchat with Jack is an advice column. Ask me your questions at lifestyle@lbunion.com!

Travel

Your Essential Guide to Eastern Europe

When backpacks turn into bars and pubs Story and photo by Karen Ruiz Assistant Editor The city of Dubrovnik, Croatia If you were to ask me at the end of last semester if I was doing anything special during the summer, I would have responded by saying, “Nothing, I’m just going to be working.” Little did I know that in just a couple of months, I would be going on a rather spontaneous backpacking trip throughout the Czech Republic, Croatia and Hungary with three of my best friends. through a section of Europe. Two years before, I travelled through six countries with six friends straight out of high school; at the time, however, we were naïve eighteen year

olds who probably didn’t plan it the best way possible. This time, although we still let loose with our plans, we had more experience with what we were getting into. I travelled with two friends from my previous backpacking group and another who I had met last year. If there’s one thing I can say about eastern Europe, aside from how extremely cheap it is, it would be that it has some of the coolest clubs I’ve ever seen. We hopped from the City Lounge, which is one of the most popular clubs in Eastern Europe, located in a small town called Cesky Krumlov in Czech, to a club in a 500 yearold fortress in Dubrovnik, then to a bunch of ruin pubs in Budapest. We were out almost every night, indulging in some of the best party experiences I’m sure will be tough to top here in the U.S. After staying in Cesky Krumlov for four nights in my friend’s family’s

From left to right: Karen Ruiz, Roman Wiant, and two friends pose in Budapest.

trip to Dubrovnik, which is located at the tip of the end of Croatia, which is nicely situated along the Adriatic Sea, and is insanely touristy for its historical Old Town. You would probably recognize Old Town as Kings Landing on Game

Biking with Alex Cycle your way through the city Story and photo by Alejandra Perez Contributor Hey there! Summer may be over but that doesn’t stop me from hopping aboard my bike and pedaling my way anywhere and everywhere there is to go. Unlike in Los Angeles, Long Beach is by far the one of the most bike-friendliest cities where I don’t have to worry about getting hit by a car. There are bike lanes in various areas across the city that are accesible to anyone. One of my favorite routes that I came across this summer begins from CSULB to Downtown LB. I started pedaling towards

Bixby Village following the 121 Long Beach Transit Bus towards Second Street. While absorbing the Beach Pride that lingers in the air on 2nd Street I make a left turn on Granada Avenue continuing towards East Ocean Blvd. As I reach the bike lane on Granada Beach, the coast becomes visible as it stretches its way towards Downtown. From there, it’s just the beautiful ocean view and me. For better results, and better climate, bike during sunset hours. Now go make your own route!

of Thrones Dubrovnik since season two. My friends and I are huge fans of the books and the TV show, so naturally we took the Game of Thrones many scenes, while also learning more about Dubrovnik’s history. At night, we hit the club with people from all over the world. The packed club left the only possible view open towards the ceiling, where poles loomed over and professional dancers, dressed like strippers, set the movement to the beats. were a common theme throughout our trip and would mess up our sleep schedules to ourselves waking up past noon. But, when in Europe, right? Budapest was essentially a party city. Almost everyone we met on the train, from Zagreb to Budapest, expressed their excitement for Budapest’s nightlife. When we got there, we knew its nightlife lived up to the hype. The city was awake long after midnight. One of its most popular ruin pubs, Szimpla Kert, was not only beautiful, but pulsing. It seemed almost impossible for anyone to get bored. Over the next two days, we attended the last two days of Budapest’s

weeklong music festival, Sziget (pronounced Zee-Get). Nowadays, it seems as though going to music festivals is nothing new, but it felt new for all of us, and we were beyond excited

Getting to see Major Lazer, Passenger, Martin Garrix, Milky Chance, among others, was incredible, even with the weather in the high nineties and a storm that seemed to come out of nowhere on our last night. Although it was hard to make our way through Californians at the festival and spend the rest of our night partying with them. It’s quite strange and depressing for me to be back at school when just a couple of days ago I was travelling Europe with my best friends, but I know that being away from a vacation will help me appreciate my next adventure. The trip was unforgettable and seemed to happen so quickly, but the cold that all of my friends and I got – and still trying to get over as I write this – on our last day in Budapest is a reminder that this trip actually happened. All I can say is, Eastern Europe is beautiful, and I cannot wait to go back someday.

14 Arts

MacArthur Park Gets a New Look A new art project changes the community for the better

Story and photos by Elizabeth Ortiz Contributor

A new civic art project in downtown LA aspires to improve the community. Brightly painted spheres in the Los Angeles city cesspool of MacArthur Park are not what you expect to see when you set foot. Half the time, there are homeless people on benches, so no one bothers to take a walk in this designated public space. This installation, entitled Portraits of Hope, aims to change that, transforming this dreary area into something beautiful for the entire community to share. Ten-thousand participating children and families from the El Segundo area came out the installation. Doris Kelley, a project volunteer, said children were encouraged to paint with complete creative freedom, as long as they stayed within the black lines. “We blew them

them and brought them to MacArthur Lake,” Kelley said. “[During the LA project] we brought kids to a studio and had a half-an-hour of education on how to help change the world by showing them what to do with 100 dollars,” Arellano Stephan, community stakeholder said. “It has been wonderful to work with the children as they painted.” approved by the city of Los Angeles, the foundation has brought underdeveloped areas to life through huge installations all across the country. “18 years of civic projects inspire me when working with the public and bringing the community together,” said Ed Massey, Portraits of Hope cofounder. “We’ve already seen the city people come together to help

out...it’s ‘a community builder.’” Massey said it is the only urban lake in the world to hold a public art project like this and loves the fact that he has seen people with strollers walk around the lake. Not only did this project bring vibrancy into a rough space, but it also taught community. Portraits of Hope will be displayed until the end of September.

“It has been wonderful to work with the children as they painted,” -Arellano Stephan

Choosing Passion Over Practicality How one art major views the “starving artist” stereotype Story By Sarah Moffatt Contributor Ask any college grad, and they’ll tell you what so years of tuition and shameless nights that precede a Bachelor’s Degree. college graduates are asked about their of study is not disclosed. Would there accessibility of a Biology major and a Drawing/Painting major? Between the man who majored in Literature and the woman who majored in Psychology? While their answers will obviously vary, their frustration over the tireless hunt for a “real-life” education in a dwindling job market will be virtually palpable with each and every graduate. This reality, however, does not seem to stop people—even strangers—from arriving at the rash assumption that those who major

“starving artist.” That is why I have always been slightly apprehensive to disclose to people that I am earning my Bachelors of Fine Arts in Drawing and Painting. Yes, I pay thousands of dollars in tuition, and hundreds upon hundreds of dollars on supplies, just to “waste” my precious education drawing nude models and deciphering between I will probably never make the same sort of living as a surgeon or an engineer, but that

Illustration by Dave Chow Contributor

does not necessarily mean that I will make the sort of living as a vendor in Venice Beach who is close friends with the guy dressed as a to the weed leaf guy, he’s pretty cool). When you tell an art major that their degree is impractical, we don’t gasp with amazement at this newfound epiphany. We know. We know very well that choosing an artist’s life is risky, it’s unstable, and frightening. creativity in exchange for a more practical lifestyle is completely contradictory to the lifestyle of an artist. I would rather live in Venice and have

a close relationship with the “weed leaf guy,” than feel consumed by the mundane Realistically, we are all college students striving for the future we want. Does that mean that just because some of us chose a more stereotypical, “practical” major that their lives are immediately going to be more No. Does that mean that they will have easier accessibility to a decent paying career? No. Everything is a risk, even those “practical” majors. So if I am dropping all this money on college just to become a starving artist, know that I will only be starving because the money I earn after selling badass commissioned pieces will go to buying art supplies, instead of stocking my pantry. I’ll feed my passion, not my stomach.

Entertainment

Tell Our Stories Right How Stonewall and About Ray are getting LGBTQIA+ narratives wrong By Indigo Vu Contributor Despite the growing representation for LGBTQIA+ folks in mass media, I cannot help but feel like we are being cheated. I feel the need to yell to the world, “Bad representation is not better than no representation!” In just the past few months, trailers for two movies that seem to be about LGBTQIA+ people have been released, Stonewall and About Ray. Rather than feeling elated at our exhaustion and despair. Stonewall is based on the infamous Stonewall Uprisings of 1969 that combatted police tyranny against LGBTQIA+ folks in the Greenwich Village of New York City and spurred on the Gay Liberation Movement. Sure, the trailer captures the police violence and the intra-community struggle when deciding just how to protest well. What it leaves out are some of the actual major players of the struggle: Sylvia Rivera, Marsha of whom are trans women of color. Instead of telling their story—a story we rarely ever get to hear unless we do research ourselves, a story strategically hidden from the public because these women did not straight people accept—Stonewall fabricates a gay, white, cisgender man to spearhead the protests. And looking at the cast list, Stonewall intends to erase people of color

almost entirely from the narrative. About Ray seems to do a little better, on trans boy who struggles to gain acceptance from his family and the world around him. presents trans boys (white, skinny, “stuck in a girl’s body”), the parts that really tick me refusal to cast a trans man for the role. In an Aug. 17 interview by Esther

“[A] story strategically hidden from the public...” About Ray

states that Ray “is a girl who is presenting in a use a trans boy was not an option because this isn’t what my story is about.” How can Dellal properly tell a story about a trans boy, continually misgender him by using she/her pronouns for Ray, and then turn it into her own story by saying it was never about a trans boy at all? Her comments epitomize liberal transphobia. I am tired of white people taking credit for anything that people of color accomplish. I am sick of cis people morphing stories one-dimensional replicas then getting praise for being progressive. Most of all, I am very sick and tired of hearing people say that bad representation is better than none. If you want to tell our stories for us, the least you can do is tell them right.

Watts, Susan Sarandon

Stonewall

cisgender

LGBTQIA+

Stonewall riots

Food

Taste of Downtown Ends Summer Local food lovers unite for a delightful food festival Not all restaurants scheduled for the evening made it out to the event, as Kabob Downtown Long Beach Associates said they were surprised the restaurant was a no-show and would reach out to them, but guests made up for them by using the empty tables that been reserved for Kabob Curry as their own eating station. Under the Waterfront Band Shell at to available tables while a few moved up to

Story and Photos by Sylvana Uribe the Taste of Downtown Waterfront event which highlighted sample versions of local cuisine on Aug. 26 and 27 from 6-10 pm. The Downtown Long Beach Associates premiered the tasting series in March of this year in East Village and invaded Pine Street in June. The two-night occasion featured popular dishes and drinks from participating restaurants in the downtown area and local musicians to perform the night away. While free to attend, attendees could satisfy their cravings by purchasing taste tickets for one dollar each.

Staff Writer

band Ease Up sang covers and mashups of artists like Amy Winehouse, Blink 182, Kings of Leon and even some of their own original content. Others danced in line as they waited to exchange their tickets for food. For more information about the Taste of Downtown series and details about upcoming events by the Downtown Long Beach Associates is available on the website: www.downtownlongbeach.org

with the crew from Gladstones for their lobster mac-n-cheese. This dish in particular has been one I have come to love, mainly for with the creamy cheese. In addition to Gladstones, places like the Auld Dubliner, Famous Dave’s BBQ and Guacho Grill made a return with alcohol in stock and food ranging from ceviche and empanadas to pork sliders and pizza. Cold Stone Creamery made an appearance and I couldn’t resist snatching up their cake batter with sprinkles ice cream sandwiched in between two chocolate chip cookies.

Top: Pork belly slider with coleslaw and pretzel bread from The Reef Restaurant Bottom: Lobster mac-n-cheese from Gladstones next to the event menu.

Food, Friends and Fun Small brewery trip results in big time memories By Lauren Hunter Staff Writer

Last Wednesday, Aug. 19, my boyfriend and I took a little trip down to Temecula to visit another couple that live there. If you take the Interstate 91E and exit Magnolia Wicks Brewery Co. It is about the size of The Nugget here on campus, but worth Our friends found a Groupon for a beer tasting that would usually cost 50 dollars, but the Groupon made it only 30 dollars. It included four tasters for two people, one appetizer and either a free pint glass or a growler. Since we were a group of four, we each had four tasters and we got two appetizers. get to choose out of their 12 beers on tap. They range from light beers to darker IPAs. I tried a wide variety of these beers and was not disappointed. My favorite

was a beer called Saison, which I actually Blood Moon. The other three people I was with tried other beers, all of which were extremely satisfying. I love beer, but I love food just as much. The two appetizers we got were the jalapeño pretzel bites with cheese sauce

worth every bite. Anything you can dip in cheese, especially pretzels, is worth your time. Now, I understand the pulled pork

and relax with our tasters and then later our pint. This brewery seems far, but is really only 45 minutes down the freeway. If you do go, please be responsible about how you drink. Please take either a taxi or an Uber or have a designated driver. I guarantee you will not have a bad time.

Wicks Brewery Co. •Location: 11620 Sterling Ave.

do not hesitate to get it. The pulled pork

does not have cheese. Another fun aspect was that since it was a Wednesday night they had trivia there. So we got to stay and play games

am-10 pm, Thursday-Saturday 11 am-1 pm, and Sunday 11 am-8 pm

Food

Maximizing Your Food Options

Below is a chart showing a sample for one day’s worth of meals. One for at home and the other for eating out: At Home Meals

Eating from home vs. eating out: which is better for your wallet? By Emily Ayers Staff Writer

Eating Out Meals 2. Breakfast (Starbucks)

1. Breakfast Food:

Amount per serving:

Food:

Amount/serving:

Oatmeal

$0.09

Grande Iced caramel macchiato

$4.95

Apple

$0.50

Slow roasted ham and swiss on croissant bun

$4.45

TOTALS:

$9.40

$0.15 In anticipation for fall semester, my best friend and I discussed our health goals for the new school year. I expressed my desire to work out consistently, and she explained how she wanted to eliminate fast food. Doubt immediately followed as she said how it was too expensive to shop for groceries. In her opinion, fast food was simply cheaper and more convenient. College students are used to being able to grab food on the go. While this may be easier, it creates distance between us and our food. We thoughtlessly eat things without seeing the ingredients, or how they are prepared. This leaves room for deceit and a lack of knowledge about the food’s nutritional value. I, too, have fallen victim to this culture, but I have become an avid believer in cooking at home. Purchasing the ingredients yourself, choosing exactly what goes into your food, and preparing it is rewarding. I decided to embark on the journey of testing that eating at home is achievable and practical for college students. I carefully planned my grocery trip to include only the amount of food I would

my grand total came to 36 dollars. Initially, this seems like a lot of money, but what is important is that the food is lasting more than one day. In the end, one full day’s worth of eating came to only 5 dollars, while a day of eating out came to roughly 35 dollars. Nearly a whole week’s worth of food made at home amounted to one full day of eating out. One of my greatest realizations was when

to actively stop myself from purchasing a drink from there daily. However one thing that did make me think twice about my splurges was the fact that paying 5 dollars for at Starbucks could buy me one 12 oz. can of

up, we slowly let making up to 32 things go that don’t cups.A n o t h e r tool is seem important,” great to prep meals

snacks. On the other hand, Target had budget I was able to get enough groceries for three meals a day, including two snacks and

beforehand. Bringing snacks and lunch to school stops the temptation to walk into the food court and spend money. Taking the time to make food at home saves valuable time during the day. As students, we often become masters at things go that don’t seem as important, food being one of them. But eating and staying healthy is vital to us performing our best. Choosing to eat from home instead of eating out is a good way to take positive control over our bodies and overall wellness.

Creamer

$0.05

TOTALS:

$0.79

1. Snack # 1

2. Snack #1 (Convenience Store)

Food:

Amount per serving:

Food:

Amount/serving:

Carrots (chopped)

$0.29

1 bag mixed nuts

$2.00

Peanut Butter

$0.21

Bowl of fruit

$4.00

Water from Home

$0.00

Soda/Juice/Water

$1.00

TOTALS:

$0.50

TOTALS:

$7.00

2. Lunch

2. Lunch (Panda Express)

Food:

Amount per serving:

Food:

Amount/serving:

Chicken

$0.69

1 side and 2 Entrée’s

$7.00

Brown Rice

$0.12

1 medium drink

$1.79

Corn

$0.25

TOTALS:

$1.06

TOTALS:

$8.79

2. Snack #2 (Convenience Store)

2. Snack # 2 Food:

Amount per serving: Food:

Amount/serving:

Grapes

$0.36

Bag of Chips

$1.50

Apple

$0.50

Soda/Juice/Water

$1.00

TOTALS:

$0.86

TOTALS:

$2.50

3. Dinner

3. Dinner (Carl’s Jr.)

Food:

Amount per serving:

Food:

Amount/serving:

Chicken

$0.69

Bacon Cheeseburger Combo (fries and drink)

$8.00

Brown Rice

$0.12

Squash

$0.74

TOTALS:

$1.55

TOTALS:

$8.00

GRAND DAY TOTAL:

$4.76

GRAND DAY TOTAL:

$35.69

Music

F—Yeah! FYF By Madison Gallegos Arts Editor Photos by Alyson Camus and Zane Roessell Contributors

Two days, 59 artists, 24 hours of music. Fuck Yeah Fest has been around for 12

“food teases,” for you Parks and Recreation

The headliners were Morrissey and

the side, and out of the crowd. When we

about an hour and a half for Kanye in the

extremely hot and sticky from the closeness away, so when we had to walk back at 1 am,

“...but how can you not love being within any vicinity of Kanye?”

but feel the music. Morrissey was far less chaotic, as you can

went a whole lot smoother. of all the bodies. come on, and this was all an elaborate ruse to And these are not full meals, but more like

The whole crowd started

heard her music, you know how ethereal and breathe because of how close

Music

His Cousin Said he Made it Big A villain in his city made another killing By Anna Elaine Abella Contributor

Many of Abel Tesfaye’s (aka The Weeknd) fans have been waiting for this album in a bittersweet manner. Many of The Weeknd fans like myself are happy for Abel Tesfaye at the same time hope he doesn’t stray from

Beauty Behind the Madness(BBM). admiration forThe Weeknd just dies down

should make a whole album together. implying that he’s done with his old self and starting anew.

it was different from the pop vibe of the

way he sings; it’s not the whiny soprano deep

“The Weeknd sets up a sexy alternative R&B vibe in his new album, Beauty Behind the Madness...”

and understanding instead of being dark

forward to the next album he’ll be dropping

opinion though. Abel is a wonderful singer the songs where he makes you roll deeper

prepare myself for this song (in a good way); ones where he makes you want to think

Trilogy album made that

am glad that he took a risk dropping into a

with this one was weak. The album starts

and it was makes you feel dark with him.

understand it.

Volume 77 Issue 2

Monday, August 31st, 2015

LBUNION.COM

DISCLAIMER: Why should you vote for Harbir? Because it’s rare for me to be half-baked. However, in light of your grill, just take your claim and steak it, for only $5.99 now at Benny’s. Keep America Happy. This page is satire/parody and does not represent ASI nor the CSULB campus. Submit articlez to grunion@lbunion.com.

Professor X is perhaps most widely known as a highly respected member of the By J. Jonah Jameson Marvel Universe, having dedicated his life to Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. However, unbeknownst to the public, he has a strong reputation as a family man, treating some of his students like his own kids. “It’s a rather symbiotic relationship to be a sort of adoptive parent to my students,” said Professor X in a 1985 interivew. “They help me out with various elements of my

personal life as well save the world. For example, I’m paralyzed and it takes effort to telepathically wipe my ass so I get someone else to do it instead. Except Wolverine.” However, X has been the subject of heavy media scrutiny following the lawsuit against him that resolved earlier this year. Magneto, originally legal suit in a divorce court after X refused to split the rights to the school’s management as per terms outlined in their marriage legal battle that included implicit claims of Professor X engaging in

pedophilia, Magneto was awarded full rights to the school, at which point he altered the curriculum to consist entirely of metalworking courses. In the face of losing all pseudofamily, Professor X then decided to go to the Stan Lee orphanage to adopt a superhero, allowing him human interaction without undergoing a background check. “Out of nowhere he walks—er, rolls in with Angelina Jolie as his adoption consultant,” said Daredevil. “I certainly didn’t see that one coming.” “There’s something creepy about some old, bald guy rolling up

to you in a wheelchair and asking to adopt you,” said Spiderman. “It hurt when he decided to adopt me, saying ‘I’m gonna love you until you cry Uncle!’ but considering my last movie sucked, I don’t have much of a choice.” Professor X still gets despite being a multimillionaire, and this adoption allows him to list Spiderman as a dependency for his future income tax statements. Note from the Editor: #wheelchairbuddies #degrassi #throwback

If you have a bad liver (or if you want to go to the ballots roaring drunk for the upcoming primary elections), take a shot every time... 1. Donald Trump mentions that his signature clothing line is made in Mexico.

6. Donald Trump responds respectfully to a question about women’s rights.

2. Donald Trump compliments another presidential candidate.

7. Donald Trump extends his immigration criticisms to non-minorities.

3. Donald Trump talks about a war hero.

8. Donald Trump mentions that he donated more money to Democrats than to Republicans in the last 15 years.

4. Donald Trump concedes personal 5. Jeb Bush leads the gallup polls.

11. Donald Trump makes an innappropriate comment about his daughter. Bonus Round: Donald Trump’s hair blows in the wind.

9. Donald Trump talks about himself.

Donald Trump (Source: tkyo) THIS WEEK IN SUPERZEROES:

CAPTAIN ‘MERICUH: THE FIRST BEERTENDER

FRITO BANDITO: THE GRUNION CRIER

CRIPTONITE: LEADER OF THE BLUE MAN GROUP

LAFEAR: “DIRTY BLACK”