Laughing and Crying by Union Weekly

ARTISTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CORNER

Illustration by: John Mueller

Issue 77.9

Intro

Katie Cortez, Editor in Chief editorinchief@lbunion.com Richard Mejia, Managing Editor manager@lbunion.com Renee Schmiedeberg, Assistant Managing Editor/Social Media Intern assistmanager@lbunion.com Trevor Desrosiers, Advertising Executive advertising@lbunion.com Ashley Rodriguez, Advertising Intern Nathan Zankich, Web Manager web@lbunion.com ART & DESIGN Sam Orihuela, Art Director artdirector@lbunion.com

Graphic by Sam Orihuela

BACK TO THE FUTURE: I’M DYING AGAIN

John Mueller, Graphics Illustrator illustration@lbunion.com EDITORIAL Elizabeth Nguyen, Co-Opinions Editor opinions@lbunion.com Rebeca Vega, Co-Opinions Editor opinions@lbunion.com Joel Martinez, Community Editor community@lbunion.com Bailey Mount, Campus Editor campus@lbunion.com William Odis Martin, Athletics Editor athletics@lbunion.com Madison Gallegos, Arts Editor arts@lbunion.com Andrew Linde, Entertainment Editor entertainment@lbunion.com

Jack Villalba, Lifestyle Editor lifestyle@lbunion.com

Mario Lopez, Travel Editor travel@lbunion.com Kaila-Marie Hardaway, Food Editor food@lbunion.com Aubrey Graham, Grunion Editor STAFF WRITERS Lauren Hunter, lauren@lbunion.com Cesar Cadenas, cesar@lbunion.com Sylvana Uribe, sylvana@lbunion.com Emily Ayers, emily@lbunion.com COPY & ASSISTANT EDITORS Carissa Pope, Karen Ruiz, Sheila Sadr, Abril Burstein, Michelle Ha CONTRIBUTORS Sergio Burstein, Anna Elaine Abella, Mary Cruz, Elizabeth Campos, Blake Pinto, Samantha Neou, Jordan Scott Francisco Lopez, nothingbutwordssatire COVER BY: Sam Orihuela FEATURE DESIGN BY: Sam Orihuela

readers the same courtesy. A couple of contributors and a handful of Union

this morning trying to trick my body into making itself feel better. Unsurprisingly, it’s not working. I still feel like crap. I’m a naturally grumpy person, but when I’m sick or unable to leave my house in any way, I get 10 times more grumpy with everyone. It’s probably better that I have spent the Union production day alone in my silent corner so I don’t get unreasonably angry with anyone. Even now, I just want to go home, curl up in ball, inhale ice cream, take stupid online

near you in the future. Some trailers showed promise, others revealed that moviemakers are either retelling old stories or tired of coming up with movies that make sense to throw we reviewed trailers so you wouldn’t have to. Until next time, Katie Cortez, RIP.

rest of my life.

Elliott Gatica, Music Editor music@lbunion.com

Amanda Dominguez-Chio, Literature Editor literature@lbunion.com

I’ve been drinking tea, water, eating soup, taking medicine, and sucking on honey sticks I took from

Lately I have been going through my Facebook “On This Day” feature at midnight every night and silently judging myself for being such a social-media idiot three or four years ago. But one of the Facebook statuses that really resonated with me took place on Oct. 15, 2014: “Car accident and I’m sick. Crappy, crappy day.” I know, it’s a blah Facebook post. I didn’t say anything philospical or inspiring, but this one really struck a chord with me. Why? BECAUSE I GOT SICK ON OCT. 15, 2015. That’s right ladies and gents, I’m sick. A full 365 days went by and here I am, sick at the exact same time that is shivering and complaining about in my own private corner of the room that to me somehow feels like it’s 90 degrees. My head is full of pressure, my sinuses are clogged, I’m pretty sure that I had a fever at some point,

life when I am sick. I don’t have to leave my bed to change the movie, if I decide to watch a TV show, I can turn Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones and watch a few episodes of Arrested Development instead. Unlike when I’m healthy, I can’t focus solely on one show to watch, and they usually can’t be more than 30-minute sitcoms, mostly because I lose focus and fall asleep halfway through anything longer. I’ve been taking a small break from The X-Files and instead alternating between episodes of How I Met Your Mother and F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Even though I do end up sleeping through those episodes, I tend to wake up during the end credits and start a new episode anyway. Another way I spend my sick time is by watching movie trailers. I open the IMDb app on my phone and cruise through the trailers for the

know what to avoid in the next year or so. This week, we decided to do our

@UnionWeekly

Disclaimer and Publication Information: The Union Weekly is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of their individual authors, not the Union Weekly, ASI nor CSULB. All students are welcome and encouraged to be a part of the Union Weekly staff. All letters to the editor will be considered for publication. However, CSULB students will have precedence. Please include name and major for all submissions. They are subject to editing and will not be returned. Letters may or may not be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. The Union Weekly will publish anonymous letters, articles, editorials, and illustration, but must have your name and information attached for our records. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 500 words. The Union Weekly assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for

Opinions

Something

Wicked This Way Could Come Proposed changes to student government reveal scary situation for future students Story by Richard McEachin III Contributor

When discussing Associated Student Inc. President Jose Salazar’s DACA scandal, it’s react emotionally to any of the arguments fostered in all of this drama. On one side, there are people who view this whole event as a form of discrimination against undocumented immigrants. Salazar has pushed forward the narrative that his inability to be paid is the result of institutional neglect, as he emphasizes that ASI allegedly did not specify the need for a social security number to receive compensation as an executive until after he had been elected. This story is obviously the most sensational and has even made it to television news broadcasts, including a story by NBC where Salazar was painted as an advocate for the undocumented students attending CSULB. The middle ground, which the Union Weekly so ambitiously set forth to voice in their feature three weeks ago, deals with the perspective that Salazar himself is at fault

from both the Dream Success Center and a crowdfunding campaign by his former fraternity brothers and sorority sisters. Despite whatever did or did not happen involving his DACA paperwork, Salazar is now pushing for ASI executives to be paid by scholarship, claiming he is pioneering representation for undocumented students by allowing them compensation without need of a social security number. However, his proposal to change executive payment

Graphic by Sam Orihuela Art Director

“The only demographic this policy change really makes sense for are those rich enough to not

ASI Vice-President Miriam Hernandez and ASI Treasurer Wendy Lewis both receive undisclosed amounts from the State of addition to their salaries as ASI executives, but if their salaries came as a scholarship, they would have been ineligible to receive on. This ineligibility, in fact, would apply to all students in executive positions under a scholarship program, which means this

question the democratic value of

resources available to students holding

from feasibly considering running for policy to replace the current system of direct monetary compensation with a scholarship system is seen by some as a misguided attempt to acquire payment for his position, despite the fact that the change would not The fact of the matter is that the current system of compensation is in place to keep executives accountable for their salary. A bit of research into ASI history would reveal that a scholarship system, much like the one being proposed, was in place within the last decade, but was replaced due to executives neglecting their position, including one instance where an executive left on maternity leave while still holding problem in that these scholarships cannot be reclaimed once paid out, meaning there

accountable if they underperform. Additionally, it is factually misleading for Salazar to claim that a scholarship allows undocumented students better access to executive positions’ salaries. While it is technically true that a scholarship system would allow all students to receive payment in an executive position regardless of citizenship status, this change would serve more to inhibit than to enable. Keep in mind that these proposed scholarships would be limiting the executive pay to approximately $23,000 (which is the 2015 CSULB cost of attendance). This is a pay cut from the current salary of approximately $25,000, and it also restricts students’ access to

this into thickly-veiled socioeconomic exclusivity where only those students who

only demographic this policy change really makes sense for are those wealthy enough become a roadblock for just about every other student, bringing into question the democratic value of this proposal. Members of the ASI Board of Control have gone on record voicing their disdain for this proposal, and picking it apart to catch all the consequences will allow students to see past misleading interpretations, and acknowledge the harm it would do to our democratic process. Salazar and his policy change proposal need to be addressed proactively, not emotionally, by denying any such change to take place.

Lifestyle

Holistic Healing With Crystals Neutralize the negative energy with an alternative form of living Story and photos by Sylvana Uribe Staff Writer

is kneeling, bowing, or clasping their hands. To with chickens as I boarded a plane to Mexico for the holidays. Little did others realize that

After a year of stress and anxiety episodes, I had hit a wall where I knew Surrounded by chickens pecking for seeds, I

person. This involves taking care of one’s by staying in tune with one’s spirituality, whether that be a connection with a god of a religious branch or however one wishes to express this. Once I returned to the U.S., countless hours of Internet searches and talking with

tossed in a wave of unnecessary worries. The encountered words like “chakras” and “energy” which were revitalized with new

shops like Eye of the Cat in Long Beach. When picking a crystal, I asked if the stone

belief that they are connecting with a higher being and sharing their gratitude or pleas.

If I don’t put forth that intention, the crystal is Incorporating crystals into one’s life forgiveness. Clear quartz is another favorite

interest. This requires research and being

is paired with it. I equate using crystals to the act of praying. When people pray, all they’re physically doing

feel stuck in a cloud of helplessness.

How To Care For Your Crystals Believers of crystal healing suggest crystals can neutralize negative energy surrounding a person and create a balance

intention and hold a crystal for as long as they want, align crystals with their

crystals will fade in color if left out too

3. Water Crystals can be left in a drinking glass, bowl, or put under running water.

crystal latches onto surrounding energy and should be cleaned and recharged. Here are three ways to clean your crystals. 1. Smudging

unwanted or negative energy. 2. Sunlight and moonlight Set your crystals out in the sunlight for an hour or so, and be aware of which

Sage (top); crystals absorbing negative energy (center); freshly washed crystals ready to do work (bottom)

Community

The Darkest of Harbors Annual Halloween-themed attraction returns to the Queen Mary

Story by Abril Burstein Copy Editor

The Queen Mary’s Dark Harbor is a delightfully horrific adventure right on the water. Now, residents of Long Beach can experience a Halloween-themed park at home rather than drive to Knott’s, Six Flags, or Universal Studios. It’s also quite a bit cheaper at $24 a ticket most nights. Dark Harbor features six mazes included with the price of admission. For an additional cost you can explore a sideshowthemed area with mini mazes and a mummy hunting paintball game (sometimes spelled “Painball” on the ticket, so I’m not sure if it was an intentional pun). The paintball isn’t free-roam but instead more of a shooting range style with 30 paintballs to shoot fake mummies. I’d give it a pass as it is a bit underwhelming. “The Sideshow” is well worth the time because it features a bar and live stage entertainment (think someone putting a needle through their hand, or letting people staple dollar bills on them). Additionally, you can meet freaks, such as the bearded lady, beautiful conjoined twins, an adorable gentleman with a shrunken head, and a psychic. Some of them will even converse with you if you approach them and they stay remarkably in character. A nice touch for those with a bit of extra cash are the private cabanas, and access to the RIP Lounge. These areas are available for a more private, luxurious Halloween experience. If you’re willing to dish out the cash, I would suggest getting a Fast Fright Pass. It sends you to the front of the line instead of having to wait for what could be 45 minutes or more to see some of the bigger mazes. The mazes are spectacular. Most importantly, the performers are interactive. Instead of grunts and moans, you actually get a response when you say something. While crawling through the ball pit in the “Circus” maze, someone remarked that it was “squishy” and the performer said, “It’s because you’re stepping on bodies!” with delightful glee. I won’t share too many of their catchphrases with you, but some of them are downright gruesome. They make it a point to chase you for longer than their job would allow, and even though they can’t touch you, the fabric of their clothes can. It doesn’t stop them from blowing on

Photos by Sergio Burstein Contributor

“They make it a point to chase you for longer than their job would allow... it doesn’t stop them from blowing on the back of your neck and sending you away screaming.”

the back of your neck and sending you away screaming. The stars of the show are the mazes that are embedded into the actual Queen Mary. They already have a dark, creepy ambiance built into them and the stories are fitting. In Dark Harbor’s newest maze, “Lullaby,” you are taken on a wild and terrifying game of hide-and-seek with Scary Mary—a young girl who drowned in the poolroom in 1952. Mary was an exceptional actress and a brat who makes fun of you if you get scared. She is also adorable though, even when she declares she’s turning you into her personal teddy bear. The maze truly feels like an adventure that Mary leads you through, and some mazes can feel like a never-ending nightmare at upwards of 20 minutes. The mazes are also beautiful. “B340” and “Soulmate” are also located within the ship and the decorations and themes— insanity and the search for the perfect mate—make for stories that you can actually become invested in. “Deadrise” and “Voodoo Village” are shorter than the ones in the ship, but they still hold their own. Dark Harbor also features live musical performances on stages, which are more like comedy acts set to pop music. The actors by “Voodoo Village” really do shine, especially the ghostly spirit playing violin at the cemetery and the tribal-themed outfits the actors wear. The biggest complaint I have is the amount of time they give you to explore all of these treasures. The park opens at 8 p.m. for the general public and closes at midnight, which only gives you a small amount of time to explore. There is no way to see more than four mazes in this amount of time unless you purchase a season pass. Dark Harbor has so much to see but gives you little time to do it compared to other parks. That isn’t to say it’s not worth it.

Dark Harbor at the Queen Mary 1126 Queens Hwy, Long Beach, CA 90802 www.queenmary.com/events/dark-harbor/

Community

A Scare ‘Knott’ to be Missed Knott’s Scary Farm introduces new frights among classic features Story by Andrew Linde Entertainment Editor Knott’s Scary Farm is a tradition for me, which is strange because I grew up with Disneyland as my go-to theme park. But Sept. 24 to Oct. 31, Knott’s populates the park with monsters and sets up mazes for them to scare you in. In years past, the park boasted 13 mazes. That’s an appropriately spooky number for Halloween time. But either because of cost-cutting or lack of ideas, this year there are only 10. Also, one of those is more of a walkthrough laser tag situation, something I’ve always avoided. In the past, the laser tag option was expensive, but this year it was free, only to a limited number of participants. I miss the days of the 3-D mazes. I would always pay out the $1 for the 3-D glasses, because they made a great use of it in the three or so mazes it was featured. My top maze this year was “VoodooOrder of the Serpent.” This wonderful surprise of a maze returns from its debut last year. As the title suggests, the maze takes place in a New Orleans swamp. The outside facade is that of a classic two-story house. Once inside, there is a mixture of classic lore and modern humor. A connecting thread throughout the maze is that common folks have been made into voodoo-style zombies. In addition to these terrifying characters, demons and shamans jump out of doorways was superb and gave me the maximum shock value. Also, some of the maze was set in the bayou with victims walking on wooden piers over water. I’ll just say to watch your step when walking on those piers. A great new maze this year was “Dead

Photos by Knott’s Scary Farm

of Winter.” This maze was actually inside of the Bird Cage Theatre, which normally houses some sort of spooky magic or puppet show. Knott’s really played up the theme of winter by turning down the temperature so that you really felt like you were in a frozen village. The plot involves a snow queen who has resurrected vikings to kill everyone. The setting was very well done, with ice caves and frozen corpses everywhere. It was a bit of a stretch to have icy spiders though. One part of the maze appears as if you are walking on a frozen river where you can see bodies stuck feeling of being stuck behind the Wall from Game of Thrones. Some great returning mazes include “Black Magic” and “Tooth Fairy.” “Black Magic” is about Houdini’s ghost being summoned from the beyond and he brings other theatrical ghosts with him. This maze is located in the “Carnevil” area and I really enjoy that it keeps the theme without being a clown maze, although my favorite clown maze of year’s past was “Clown College.”

you left feeling generally unsettled, then the maze worked. Also a special shout-out for “Paranormal Inc.” This maze had the unfortunate duty of

“Tooth Fairy” and I was pleasantly surprised. In the past, Knott’s has attempted to play with

open, it was terrifying and disturbing. Then with each year it got worse, more action-

to a rather bland mix with a blanket fairy tale inspiration maze that was sometimes

was about you feeling like an inmate. This year the maze has been given a backstory where some ghost hunters are shooting their reality show in the asylum. There’s actually a little show before you enter the maze, so the line is longer than other mazes. But I daresay the wait is worth it. The opening show introduces two hosts who are instantly

Wonderland” maze. “Tooth Fairy” actually amps up the scary angle of creatures that want your teeth. Some parts were inspired by the horrors of dentistry while others were just pure body horror with a hallway of mouths leading to a disturbing screen showing a mouth contort uncontrollably. If

awakens and angers the spirits trapped in the walls of the asylum. Then a wall pops out and you are shepherded into the real maze. Given how the groups are spaced out, there are tons of quality scares and so many little demons waiting to get you. The shows are Knott’s Scary Farm can be really hit-or-miss. I always make the time to watch “The Hanging,” but even that has been losing its luster. It seems the writers are always trying to reinvent the wheel. The basic story of “The Hanging” is that the city of Calico, a violent place, holds a public hanging every Halloween. The person who is hanged is a celebrity that has committed an egregious wrongdoing. Past storylines have included are brought through a time machine and hangman. They even tried to bring in a witch

character, harkening back to hangings of old. This year “The Hanging” is subtitled “Straight Outta Calico,” but there is only one real reference to Straight Outta Compton. The show actually opens with a musical number, which is normally how they end. Also, two storylines dominate this show. First that the show is sponsored by the Kock Brothers, brothers. The second storyline involves the accidental death of the Hangman at the hands named Shannon. I really enjoyed the Kock brothers, mostly because the funnier one was played by Jeremy Carter. Carter is more famous for his role in from “The Hanging” at Knott’s Scary Farm. He’s been involved in the show for years, playing various roles. I always enjoyed his Mayor character who had been downplayed in recent years. This return to form with a hilarious comedian playing this incredibly The Hangwoman storyline was also a bit refreshing, if only because “The Hanging” is generally unkind to women in general. Most of the portrayers are men, even for the female roles. This year it seemed more even, with I always enjoy Knott’s Scary Farm, especially from a theatrical perspective. The staging and storytelling in the mazes come together wonderfully to give a cohesive and scary narrative. I just really wish they’d stick more to either tongue-in-cheek humor or gory terror. Either way, I’ll be back next year.

Athletics

Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Water Polo Snaps Losing Streak LBSU wins 2 of 3 games over the weekend in home opener Photos by William Odis Martin

Athletics Editor

LBSU freshman goalkeeper Garrett Kaltenbach making one of his eight saves against Occidental College at the Ken Lindgren Aquatics Center on Thursday. His twin Troy scored a hat-trick in the game, while his other twin Chandler found the net twice.

LBSU dominated Occidental College with an aggresive offensive attack, outscoring them 19-2. Josh Tice scored 5. The 19 goals is a season high for the No. 8 ranked 49ers.

Weekend Scores

LBSU: 19 WIN Occidental: 2 LBSU: 10 UCSD: 4

WIN

LBSU: 7 UCSB: 10

LOSS

Weekend Stars: Josh Tice: 6 goals Keegan Wicken: 6 goals Chandler Kaltenbach: 5 goals LBSU outscored their opponents 29-6 between the doubleheader Thursday night, after downing the Tritons of UCSD 10-4. LBSU sophomore attacker Lovro Miocevic led the offense with a hat trick.

FEATURE

Laughing and Crying Upcoming movie trailers evoke various emotions Intro by Andrew Linde

audience feel something. The transference of emotions from screen to viewer is part of the experience. In a comedy, this is with a laugh. In a drama, it can be with simple empathy or tears. Movies should move their audiences. Movie trailers are a lost art. Too many trailers nowadays focus on getting the plot across and telling the viewer exactly what to expect. A good trailer doesn’t reveal

The Peanuts Movie

Who thinks of a caped Snoopy swaying his hips to sultry castanets when they hear “Bamboleo” by Gipsy Kings? Blue Sky Studios, that’s who. And speaking of The Who, “Baba O’Riley”—better known by millennials as the opening theme song to CSI:NY—also makes an appearance in the trailer for the 2015 rendition of Charlie Brown and company. This makes sense, considering that someone at Fox Family Entertainment obvs gave the summer intern a little too much power to include music by DJ Khaled and Flo Rida on the soundtrack. OH, and did you know the movie

A good trailer should also impart the same feelings the viewer will take away from variety of emotional reactions to movie trailers. Some of these reactions are of joy, others anger, and some just plain confusion. Next time you’re waiting of the Feature Presentation to start, pay attention to how the audience reacts to a trailer. It can be more telling than the trailer itself.

By Rebeca Vega

is in 3-D? Did you also know that’s why Charles M. Schulz— the creative genius behind the original freehand Peanuts comic strip—is yelling “GOOD GRIEF!” from beyond the grave? This might as well debut on Halloween instead of Nov. 6, because it will evoke all kinds of blood-curdling screams from true fans. For the ticket should expect a hologram image of Vince Guaraldi at his Steinway grand piano to hand out glasses in theater lobbies all across America. It sounds like that’s as close as his iconic

The Hateful Eight

By Andrew Linde

It was with great joy that I to set characters against each other. I know that a bloodbath The Hateful Eight in the proper will happen in this tiny cabin setting: a movie theater. I in the middle of nowhere. No was in utter awe watching one is safe and everyone’s a the stark landscape of snow. suspect. I can only hope that Each character is given a my favorites make it to the end. moment, and I relish every Either way, I’ll enjoy the ride.

FEATURE

By Elizabeth Nguyen

I wonder how Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) manages to keep the same damn expression throughout all of these cut-scenes. Even when she’s hugging someone, there’s hardly a hint of feeling. She could be sad or happy; I wouldn’t even know. I’ve read all three books of The Hunger

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2

Games, and to be honest, I always imagined her with a resting space. I don’t plan on watching this movie since I stopped at was not impressive enough to persuade me to watch the rest.

The Danish Girl

By Sylvana Uribe

struck by the realization that painter born as Einar Magnus he enjoys the feel of women’s Andreas Wegener, who was one clothing and it’s a moment that lasts only seconds, but sex reassignment surgery stayed with me until the trailer during the 1920s. The movie is set long before there were imagine a life that isn’t genuine Caitlyn Jenner specials and and authentic to who I am, and open discussions about gender. when it comes to the scene When viewing the trailer, my described, I’m reeled in by chest tightens as Redmayne’s the desire to see the character question and pursue living across the dress he’s posing outside of what he knows. with as his wife paints him. He’s Krampus

By Bailey Mount

Seeing a trailer for a Christmas movie in September is horrifying enough. And 45 seconds into the trailer for Krampus, I thought I was looking at a dramatic family comedy that just wanted to get the holiday hype going way too early. But nearly a minute later,

Grandma tells everyone that “Saint Nicholas is not coming this year.” Instead, it’s Krampus, his hoovedand-horned counterpart who punishes the wicked during Christmas. The faux I, however, am overjoyed. Macbeth

By Samantha Neou

The trailer for Alejandro Gonzalez Iñárritu’s (Babel, Birdman) The Revenant is a breathtakingly beautiful epic survival story . From the opening line to the wide shots of the snowy mountains and hills, the grim atmosphere is chilling and foreboding. A vicious battle breaks out and bodies are lying everywhere. It is gruesome,

The Revenant

honest, and intense. The constant sound of war drums and Leonardo DiCaprio’s character struggling to catch his breath in the background leaves me wondering what in the world is even happening. I a lot like an Oscar nominee.

By Jordan Scott

In Macbeth’s teaser trailer I gorgeous visual imagery. Each can feel his passion, rage, and colorful scene, which could be madness in the red background a piece of art on its own, is full of seemingly tangible weather, and battle. His sadness and movement, and natural lighting bitterness through tear stricken that urges me to exist in this confessions and forlorn world. I can feel the tragedy monologues reach out from and hopelessness ahead of the screen. Most of all, I feel Macbeth and I want to be there the futility and tension through with him until the bitter end. the use of rhythmic music and

FEATURE Concussion

By Joel Alba Martinez

By Blake Pinto

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

Joy

By Renee Schmiedeberg

By Mario Lopez

Deadpool

Arts

Empowering People and Saving the Environment

What

the

video

emulates

like pink, red, and blue. the narrator of the H&M video launching their rocks bubblegum pink pants with a blood red revel in the diverse cast that was chosen to share the message about eliminating clothing waste. It is the rich variation of models that

look, think, act, and feel. l e n g t h

blonde

create. H&M wants to use unwanted items to create new clothing or each character H&M chose to depict in the video.

H&Mâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Close the Loop Campaign works to change the world

save 2,100 liters of water. taking

breaks

unwanted

boundaries

people who have been made to feel like outsiders.

3,300 stores. In addition, H&M states on their

voices and the representation Collective Initiative Service into social

afraid of what is we wind up feeling

Story by Emily Ayers Staff Writer Illustration Courtesy of H&M

on how old textiles can be products, like dishtowels.

and video teach that our

stigma tied to fashion, that H&M promotes commands for strict backlash from people to

the street in pink scrubs, a woman stands stigmas can be broken. For that reason I dare extravagant clothing and makeup while walking around a store, and a group of men standing on a street corner wearing turbans,

Painting, Parents, and Little People ... Oh, My! The struggles of childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s face painters Story by Jack Villalba Lifestyle Editor Photos taken from Google

and a man with prosthetic leg spars in a boxing ring.

I feel some of the unsung heroes of the art face painters. It sounds a lot easier than it

Once a child has their mind set on

I thought it was too good to be true, but

Haha. No. Being a face painter is like being a barista: long lines of people, demanding parents,

the works. limited time and that people are waiting.

feel like Satan. still have to paint a face. Painting a solid canvas is hard enough without all the ridges and discrepancies a face entails.

nothing like seeing the child and parent bond.

Literature

The Rest is Silence A tragic tale of thrilling horror Story by Cesar Cadenas Staff Writer Illustrations by John Mueller Graphics Illustrator

When people think of “horror writers,” most will think of Stephen King or H.P. Lovecraft. However, not many people talk about one of my favorite horror authors, Harlan Ellison. Ellison is a master of horror who has won multiple Hugo Awards, Nebula Awards, and Edgar Awards, all of which are premier literary awards. He

best time to thumb it over, as I felt disturbed while reading it. The story takes place 109 years after the destruction of mankind at the hands of a evil maniacal computer

the story on a stormy day on the bus. AM preys on the emotions of the characters to make

“I felt disturbed while reading [‘I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream’].”

the British author responsible for American Gods, Coraline, and The Sandman graphic novels. Ellison is notable for works such as A Boy and His Dog, “I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream,” and “‘Repent, Harlequin!’ Said the Ticktock Man.” “I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream” is a short story that must be read no matter what day of the year it is. I would wager that it is Ellison’s most famous work. There released in 1995. Halloween would be the

called AM. AM has killed everybody on the are constantly tortured. AM has deep– seated, unknown hatred for all of mankind. The group lives in a vast underground complex due to the fact that the Earth has been rendered inhabitable. The group of survivors decides to journey across the AM takes every opportunity to torture the survivors and make sure they do not make it to the canned food.

go through is what really sets the horror story apart from all the rest. The characters’ torture is further enhanced via the hope individuals have toward the canned food. The ending is disgusting and unfair in

what AM did to the characters. Ellison is also a successful scienceA Boy and His Dog. This story is about a boy and his supersmart telepathic dog trying to survive in a post– apocalyptic world. There is a lot to the story that is being left out, but make no mistake, “I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream” will leave a lasting impression on readers for days after.

Travel

Mayan blood runs through my veins Remembering her father’s land and his stories As one gets older, duties and responsibilities accumulate, along with appreciation for the little things in life. In addition to the mixture of feelings that one gets when growing up, is the bittersweet feeling of parents getting older and closer to leaving our side. My dad, a now 45-year-old man with a white-ish mustache, spent his childhood in two different places: Mexico City and Temax, Yucatán, a small village about five hours away from Cancún, Mexico. While both places have plenty of stories, Temax, provided my dad with experiences that neither he, nor I will forget. There are places that have a magical essence to them, and Temax is was about 13 years old when we visited, and although some parts of this trip are vague, others I can describe clearly. To start, I had never seen so much green as a tropical ranch. My grandfather, a man with brown skin and strong arms, owned a large piece of land where he cultivated fruits

like maracuya, papaya, pineapple and more. I saw my grandfather. I hadn’t heard very nice stories about him, nonetheless he made me feel safe and at home. I remember seeing my dad smile nonstop, proudly showing me around what used to be his playground when he was my age. We were wearing the wrong clothes for the climate that the region has, and we hadn’t eaten anything since we’d left the airport. However, the experience and novelty of that place outweighed all the negatives. Next, we went to an aunt’s small, picturesque house. They had a feast like no other waiting for us, that included rabbit and deer meat, fruits that were far from a regular apple or a banana, and beverages of different textures and colors. Some people say that when on vacation,

Story and photo by Elizabeth Campos Contributor

they miss their bed and house. Fortunately, we stayed with family. We slept in a way

Campos’ grandaunt frying some handmade tortillas I never expected to be more comfortable than my own bed. In Temax, people sleep in

Also, Temax is so small and scenic that most of the people move around the village on bikes, motorcycles or wagons. After eating as if there was no tomorrow, my cousins showed me around Temax on a motorcycle. While there, our relatives also took us to Chichén Itzá. A more popular place that, needless to say, is breathtaking. Cenotes (natural pits, or sinkholes, resulting from the collapse of limestone bedrock that exposes groundwater underneath) and ancient ruins surround the land. The smile on my dad’s face, I’m sure, looked very close to how it looked when he was a kid. The stories of him and his brothers climbing the trees and hanging from the branches to then jump into the cenotes, playing at the park before a handmade tortilla diner, hearing their mother speak Mayan and sleeping in hammocks are memories that, like I said, neither he nor I will forget. A parent shares stories with his kids not only to have a good time reminiscing, but also to pass on history and knowledge that will shape you. While my generation and childhood proud to say, and share with you, that Mayan blood runsthrough my veins.

of the village, hammocks are far more convenient than beds.

Guatemala is Alive A glimpse into a vibrant country The summer I turned 15 years old was a big milestone in the eyes of my family, but I couldn’t stomach the idea of having a quinceañera. Instead, my parents shipped me My half-sister, who was raised in

days were spent in Santo Tomás La Unión, Suchitepequez, with my mom’s uncle, Tío Paco. Tío Paco had a bakery built into the side of his home and woke up before dawn to knead recipes he kept secret from his workers, who arrived hours later. The freshest batches of campechanas and molletes awaited us on the kitchen table every morning.

Story and photos by Sylvana Uribe Staff Writer As I adjusted to the humidity, the differences between my Mexican and when we visited my sister’s relatives on her father’s side. We crammed into a bus and took a small boat ride across Lake Atitlán into the town of San Pedro La Laguna. A somber feeling pervaded San Pedro as it had just overcome a series of mudslides which had destroyed several homes. The women in the family we stayed with dressed in trajes, or Mayan wear. Vibrant, patterned skirts were wrapped around their waists and held together with woven belts. These women spoke choppy Spanish and communicated through Tz’utujil, a language descending from one of the Mayan ethnic groups. The men spoke Spanish perfectly

As I prepped to go hiking one morning, one of the women stood at my door and said, “So, you’re Mexican.” It was a slightly cryptic statement, and one that I wasn’t sure how to deal with, so I laughed and nodded. I spent most of my time with my father’s family, or my Mexican half, and didn’t feel connected with the Central American roots I inherited from my mother. It wasn’t something I had given much thought to labeling. noticed it was more than just a place where the day. Despite the stories of corruption and violence that have dominated the media in recent years, the humble people who preserve their history through their clothing

and dialects are often overlooked. Within its tropical landscapes, a glimpse of it. All I’m certain of is that the country merits to have its history preserved for disconnected groups who have yet to understand the beauty of Central America.

Travel

RiSE Festival A celebration that is much more than 20,000 candles in the wind

When I had woken up earlier that day, I had no expectations for what the evening would bring. I knew the RiSE Festival would be great opportunity to de-stress and release all the fear I had built up from starting at a new school, here at CSULB, and being in a completely new environment. Moapa Indian Reservation in Nevada, and saw the line of cars waiting to park, I instantly felt the excitement. The 1,000-meter trek, to where the lanterns would be released, was a relaxing path snaking through the desert, creating a sea of people that resembled a pilgrimage. The sun was setting and orange, yellow hues filled the skies serving as backdrops behind the gray mountains. Despite the people around, everything was very quiet and very still. We were greeted by signs that said, “Hello!” and, “Please be in the moment with us. Put your phone into airplane mode.” Sprouting from the floor at the entrance were huge, white laminate letters that spelled out “RiSE.” Venturing in further, my eyes were drawn to the stage, a myriad of pinks and blues, where soft acoustic music played. Torches sprouted up everywhere and people were sitting on their mats talking and eating food. The festival was a large circle that was split into eight pie-sliced sections. On the outside of the sections were various alcoves with food trucks and beer/ wine stands. My mom and I got a BBQ pulled pork sandwich and macaroni salad from one truck, and a Lagunitas beer. We also tried

Pilipino pork belly with rice and pork spring rolls that were delicious. After we received our mat, pen, and lanterns, we claimed our small space near a torch in section A. I sat cross-legged on the bamboo mat with my two thinpaper lanterns on my lap, and the black permanent marker resting in my hand. The Mojave Desert was below me, and I felt a calmness slowly sweeping over me. My mom told me to expect an emotional reaction, but I thought I would be able to pull it together when the time came. I was wrong

Story and photos by Emily Ayers Staff Writer

Through her own tears she told me how much she loves me, and that she wanted us to experience this together. She told me that when she passes away she wants me to celebrate her life, and that she doesn’t want me to be paralyzed by sadness. “You can’t stop living your life,” she said. We hugged each other and assured one another that we would make life beautiful even if the other passed away. Though the thought of losing her unraveled me, I was brought back to the meaning of the festival: the openness and the healing that it lent to people. to people who we have lost, and also use the space to write our wishes and prayers for our family members and loved ones. Our second lantern was for our own personal hopes and desires. for the things I most wanted to heal from. And just for good measure I added a child-like sketch to the lantern. It emulated the beauty and free-

and my guard quickly shattered as my mom and I sat on our mats talking about why she had wanted us to come to the RiSE Festival.

hope to have in my life. The live band continued to play, and around 9 p.m. the ceremony commenced. People slowly began to light their torches, and the desert was illuminated. A speaker explained how the festival meant was the beauty of it.

Finally, we got the cue to light our lanterns to prepare for the initial release that we would do in unison. We opened our lanterns and my mom held the bottom rim close to

After about two minutes we began the 10-second countdown and as we all bellowed together “3…2…1,” we released, and lanterns direction. I was breathless and speechless and

the energy from everyone at the entire festival

universal truth that tied us all together. For the next two hours, the stream of lanterns continued. My mom and I watched

he raised both of his arms into the air as if giving thanks, then he slowly brought them down to his chest in a prayer position. He stood watching his lantern until it was just a small speck lost in the midst of the others. last of the lanterns trickled away into the sky. I did not want to leave the magical place that had touched so many people.

walked hand-in-hand back toward the car, we were both overcome with the positive energy that still radiated around us. I’m not sure whether it was the power of the desert, or the power of letting go, but the RiSE Festival fostered something special; it created a space where human beings can celebrate life.

Food

Big Flavor at Little Gourmet A pizzeria in El Segundo makes the drive worth it Story and photos by Kaila Hardaway Food Editor After a long day at El Segundo Beach, my

Recipe and photos by Sylvana Uribe Staff Writer

Copycat Recipe: Double Chocolate Chip Brownies A tutorial on how to make this delicious treat from Sweet Jill’s Bakery • • • • • • • • •

Entertainment

How the Simpsons Stole Halloween Parodies of Re-Animator, Godzilla, and Chronicle mark the 26th Halloween Special FOX’s longest-running television show, The Simpsons, started its “Treehouse of Horror” tradition on Oct. 25, 1990 in its second season. The Halloween special is known for putting a horror spin on cultural references, and it is typically the only episode where any of the main characters can die. Although the “Treehouse of Horror” of traditional aspect to them. Early opening sequences tend to be parodies of older horror resulting in some sort of gruesome death to open up the show. Another traditional aspect to the “Treehouse of Horror” episodes is the appearance of Kang and Kodos, the two aliens. The characters are only reserved for the Halloween episodes and do not appear in any other episodes of the show. Changing the names of everyone involved in the show’s credits is also one of the most remembered aspects of the series. Each “Treehouse of Horror” episode has three segments and some of the more memorable ones are parodies of The Shining, The Nightmare on Elm Street, and King Kong. Season 27’s “Treehouse of Horror” episode, although not

and comedy. The opening sequence of “Treehouse of Horror XXVI” putting. The animation is reminiscent of an old Ren and S t i m p y cartoon with a song that sounds dangerously close to the melody from How the Grinch Stole Christmas. The combination of the two almost makes you not want to watch the rest of the episode. “Wanted Dead or Alive” is “Treehouse of Horror XXVI.” In this segment, Sideshow Bob (Voiced by Kelsey Grammer, who won an

Story by Katie Cortez Editor in Chief

Illustration by John Mueller Graphics Illustrator

succeeds in killing Bart (Nancy Cartwright), “Tell my father... he’s fat.” Sideshow Bob spends the rest of the segment monologuing about succeeded in his task, but ultimately decides that his life is unsatisfactory without Bart being alive, and the episode turns into a Frankenstein/ReAnimator cross-over in which Sideshow Bob kills Bart over and over again. The best part of the segment is that the writers kept the Sideshow Bob spontaneousrake gag. The second segment titled “Homerzilla” is a parody of the most recent Godzilla remake.

Check lbunion.com/podcast for the episodes.

segment then takes a weird turn and ends up being a movie within a television show and

is the second best of the episode. It’s a parody Chronicle and begins with every fan’s favorite pathetic character, Milhouse (Pamela Hayden), falling down a well. If you remember the storyline of Chronicle, it’s very similar in that respect. Milhouse starts using his powers for evil and the segment ends the episode in an Overall, 2015 is not the best year for “Treehouse of Horror.” The episode has Simpsons’ best Halloween special. “Treehouse of Horror XXVI” is set to air on FOX Oct. 25.

Minions Run Time: 1 hr 31 mins Starring: Sandra Bullock, Jon Hamm, Michael Keaton, Pierre

Our new podcast is coming soon. You’ll get a deeper insight into what goes on into writing and creating the paper.

Grandpa Simpson is known as the town fool for sending a donut on a paper boat out to

Movies on the House are hosted twice a month on Wednesday and Thursday. Each movie is screened for two days at 3:30 p.m., 6 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. in the USU Beach Auditorium. All screenings are free for students and $5 for non-students. Snacks are available for purchase. Minions will be shown Oct. 21 and 22. The Man from U.N.C.L.E. on Nov. 4 and 5.

Back to the Future ‘88 A stellar night of metal at the Whisky Words and Photos by Mary Cruz Contributor

When you say “Hollywood,” the

people’s

heads

money,

and

The Rocker

people

who

Music

Does anybody else here feel the way she does? Story by Anna Elaine Abella Contributor

I’ve found it. I’ve found the soundtrack to my life. My father (also a huge Pink Floyd fan) tried to test me what the album was about, and I told him I couldn’t describe it. When I The Wall I didn’t realize I was about to embark on an epic musical journey. as Dark Side of the Moon, Wish You Were Here, or Animals, but I decided to give it another listen this year, just a week before the cinema screening, and holy crap. It feels like I’ve just been struck right in my soul. I went to the Roger Waters The Wall cinema premiere. It was showing on Aug. 29 at 8 p.m. nationwide and there was only one showing at “I NEED TO GO, NO MATTER WHAT.” I asked two of my friends ahead of time if they were willing to go, but in the end they the cinema alone. As crazy as this sounds, I enjoyed it. I didn’t have to worry about anyone else and I got to immerse myself into a cinema concert. The movie was about Roger Waters’ performance in Paris, France and followed what The Wall meant to him alongside his

happiness. I got that extra shot of dopamine and serotonin in my brain. It was like all the songs are connected, but were forced to be severed into 2-3 minute pieces with Prior to this movie, when I was in high school, I actually went to a Roger Waters concert where he performed The Wall. the concert without the nosebleed seats. Throughout the whole movie, I just felt the vibe of the people that were there. There were parts where I literally laughed and cried. I couldn’t help myself. From beginning to end, the albums were just so perfect and so deep that I couldn’t even see Adele rolling in it. One of the many songs I cried to was beautiful and simple, but the message is so intense and profound. It can be interpreted in many ways, but I believe this song relays Waters’ antiwar sentiment. Waters lost both his grandfather and father during World War are all long gone, but the pain lingers on.” goes on due to the death of loved ones. It’s as if it didn’t solve anything and created more pain song could be that, as humans, we often are at war with ourselves, and this song describes the misconception of what we think life is. As children, we were made to believe that life is such a great thing (I mean, it is). However, were supposed to face; they all feel like “falling bombs.” Remember when we were kids, we couldn’t wait to be grown-ups? This is what this song is. As children, we thought there was “promise of a brave new world unfurled beneath a clear blue sky.” Do you understand my passion with this album? It makes you think. It challenges you to explore what you

relationship with his father. Whenever a new song would begin playing, I could feel all the molecules and neurotransmitters in me start to dance with

out, it’s like someone put a mint Ice Breaker on your heart. If you didn’t know, the album describes a story of a man named Pink. Pink lost his father in WWII (Another Brick In The Wall Part I) and in the movie, he visits his father’s grave with his kids and grandkids. He has an overbearing mother (“Mother”). His teachers are “evil” and ridicule him for having a creative side (Another Brick In The Wall Part 2). There are voices in his head that tell him to build an anti-emotional wall around him. Each brick in his wall symbolizes a memory full of pain his childhood. Eventually all the bricks have

made him numb, and the walls surround him, isolating him from the world (“Hey You”).

“The lyrics are probably the aspect that catapulted this album into this orgasmic phenomenon.” (“The Trial”). Finally, his walls are torn down though it’s not explicitly said why, which feels actual movie further helps you understand the album. Many might argue that Dark Side of the Moon was the best album, but compared to The Wall, it provides a deeper meaning that all audiences can eventually relate to. The lyrics are probably the aspect that catapulted this album into this orgasmic phenomenon. Every time I listen to “Is There Anybody Out There” and “Nobody Home,” I have to literally stop myself from crying. I can’t listen to those songs individually; it’s like eating pizza without the crust. They HAVE to be played together. But if I had to pick between the two, I’d pick “Nobody Home.” There are lyrics in this particular song that made my heart feel a million pounds heavier. He says,

in my life, but there is a sad realization that I most likely may not be able to accomplish any of them because I’ve never been the person to always put in 110 percent. Another way that I is that I’m still lost. I’m 21 years old, and I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. It’s like I found myself, but I’m still stuck in the dark. I’m still trapped and my heart feels like the fucking key. What do I do? I keep on living my life day by day and I keep going. I’m sorry to end this so abruptly, but there aren’t any more words that convey the way I feel about this song and album. It’s the soundtrack to my life.

Volume 77 Issue 9

Monday, October 19th, 2015

LBUNION.COM

DISCLAIMER: We are here against our will: But I actually kind of like being imprisoned. No, not because I recently read 50 Shades of Gray. As a prisoner, I get more money from the state than as a student, proof that street smarts will take you farther. ‘Nuff said. This page is satire/parody and does not represent ASI nor the CSULB campus. Submitz artikle to grunion@lbunion.com.

After Eight Combat Deployments, Navy SEAL Returns Home to Sea World SAN DIEGO, CaliforniaVeteran Navy SEAL “Boomer” came home today to Sea World after eight combat tours supporting the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. By Johnson Crud Sparky, a decorated sniper and member of the famed amphibious SEAL Team 6, made famous for the operation in Pancakestan that has exterminated various bad eating habits, is happy to see friends and family again. He is grateful to come home.Among those present at Boomer’s arrival ceremony is Gravy, the grandson of the now deceased Sparky whose exploits in the Second World War as one of the first “Frog Dogs” helped destroy key bridges and outposts in occupied France. It eventually earned him a posthumous Canine Medal of Honor for dogs. “I think Boomer is a real hero, combating error in the world like that when he could have been here living a life of luxury at home eating fish and entertaininglittle kids” he said. “He’s a real seal in word and deed. His service really reflects his character.” Described as “playful” and “a great swimmer,” by some of the other animals at the amusement park, the brown, long whiskered, cute pinniped admitted that while he is proud to serve his country, “it’ll be nice to get some of my blubber back. MREs aren’t all that good,” he continued “ unless it’s the sardine ones and you can hardly get those in the desert.*” When asked about how it felt to be on U.S. soil once again, he confessed that he was not as interested in soil as much as he was in water and that he was just happy to be back. “I can’t wait to see all my friends again. Willy; Harold and Blinky the dolphins, hanging with all of them makes it all worthit,” he barked.When

asked about any hardship overseas, he recalled that “It takes a lot out of you being overseas fighting errorists,” the veteran hero said. “I mean, I was molting all the time and the sand is a killer, but I’m back in the home of the free, Sea World!” At press time, Boomer has had no knowledge of Sea World and the controversy surrounding its orca breeding program which has been met with criticism and disdain by several animals rights groups including Wings and Things and Hairy Otters which are calling the parks’ policy of animal captivity “evil, abusive andvoyeuristic.” The park responded with a statement saying, “We are happy Boomer has returned home from his combat duties, however, not allowing animals to “do it” is evil and inhumane. At Sea World we have set up an environment with soft candle light, music and even copious amounts of dead fish and shit for the bottom dwelling species of our horny animal community to get them into the mood. Any protest to our breeding programs undermines Boomer’s service and supports the denial of rights for animals to get it on as they do in the wild. They jump through a lot of hoops as it is.”Still, Boomer is optimistic about his return home. He plans to resume his career as a showseal at the park and says “The real heroes are all the hoofs and fins on the ground over there. I mean, they’re fighting, dying for my right to balance a basketball on my nose.”

Bill Cosby Introduces PutIt-In-Pops; Deemed Cheap Publicity Stunt BROOKLYN HEIGHTS, New York- Bill Cosby, the onetime “America’s Favorite Dad” and award-winning comedian will unzip the cover from his new Put-InBy Peter Peddoo In Pops Tuesday night. The line of frozen treats which boast high levels of sedative to “relax” young, hot women are what his marketing company is saying come at a perfect time amid more allegations of rape and sexualassault. The pops release also coincides with his new play about his life on the road. His latest accuser, Melody Groynze, 25 alleges that Cosby offered her a job as a “Put-ItIn-Girl,” in 2008 when she was 18 and “ just hanging out” at the Playboy Mansion. “Well I think he,you know, let me ask my lawyer what it’s ok to say,” alleged the young socialite and gold digger. Ms Groynze further claimed that she believes but could not fully testify that maybe, she thinks, the chocolate pills are the best. Currently, it is the chocolate ones she is invested in.At the Cosby camp, Mr. Cosby and crew are excited and cheerful about the launch of “Put-It-In-Pops: Suckers” and” Put-It-InPops: Puckers” Tuesday night. The night also coincides with the 1971 play No Consent: Want to Know What’s Funny? an autobiography and mixed drinkrecipe book written by Cosby and adapted for the stage. Advertising has been big for both products since 2014 as allegations began to emerge of sexual misconduct and a vapid career. Cosby’s spokesperson, Avangeline Clipten candidly, orally demonstrated Mr. Cosby’s side of the sex allegations, saying dreamily “Mr Cosby is an angel. We love him. He’s so good; he sometimes doubles on the tax fare.”Still, all is

not well with Cosby or his new candy line. Last week, the popular Afro-American culture and cooking magazine Ebony published a cover in which Cosby as Dr. Huxtable is depicted holding up a bottle of prescription pills and pouring its contents into his mouth. His other hand holds a glass of water and the caption reads “Hey hey hey, Go ahead girls,I’ll give you a job if you do.” Already, critics, talk shows and social media outlets are going all out in condemning the penetratingly sweettreat line as a move to dodge criticism while trying to boost his own image.Malcom JamalWarner, who played Cosby’s son Theo on The Cosby Show, was also upsetabout the cover. When asked by The Grunion about his feelings in regard to the attention that Cosby was getting, he replied “Dog, he’s fuckin’ with my money. I was still making bank from that show, you know it was still on TV? Even Lisa Bonet is going to have to get a job now, man.”Jamal-Warner also reacted excitedly when asked if Cosby had ever tried anything with him. “Naw, in fact, we would go out to these wild fuckin’ parties n’shit, man. On a weeknight, dog, ‘allkinds of pussy,’ just like he said.”While the pops are said to be by Clipten something “for anyone who’s ever, you know, been curious about the man” she also added that they were “something good and something fun for everyone. I mean with Put-It-In Pops, you won’t even have to try or tell.” At press time, the accusations are still flying and the pops are poppin’.

THIS WEEK IN PHOTOSHOP:

MIKE WAZOWSKI STRUGGLES WITH HANDICAP FROM SURGICAL MALPRACTICE

ROBERT CRUMB REVEALS INSPIRATION TO BE A HISTORICAL MADMAN

PHYSICIANS CONFIRM NEW SYMPTOMS INDICATING ADDICTION

SCIENTISTS CONFIRM THE EXISTENCE OF A HOLY SPIRIT; RASTAFARIANS REJOICE