Content

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Issue 72.09

Disclaimer and Publication Information: The Union Weekly is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of the Union Weekly, not ASI or CSULB. All students

anonymous letters, articles, editorials, and illustration, but must have your name and information

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assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for claims of its advertisers. Grievance procedures are

“I hope you think ghost jokes are pretty ghoul.” Molly Shannon, Food Editor

Rose Feduk, Editor-in-Chief

editorinchief@lbunion.com

Marco Beltran, Managing Editor

marco.union@gmail.com

Connor O’Brien, Managing Editor

connor.union@gmail.com

Eric Garcia, Advertising Exec

advertising@lbunion.com

Rose and the Ghostly Guide to Getting Involved Rose Feduk Editor-In-Chief Union Weekly

Shereen Lisa Dudar, Opinions Editor opinons@lbunioncom

Gabe Ferreira, Art Director gabe.union@gmail.com

Sierra Patheal, Campus Editor campus@lbunion.com

Brian Mark, Art Director brian.union@gmail.com

Michael Wood, Music Editor music@lbunion.com

Connor O’Brien, Cover Photography connor.union@gmail.com

Roque Renteria, Entertainment Editor entertainment@lbunion.com

Truc Nguyen, Web Manager

Katie Healy, Literature Editor literature@lbunion.com

Eddie Viramontes, Graphic Designer info@lbunion.com

Alia Sabino, Culture Editor culture@lbunion.com

Thor Hoven Design Intern thor@hoven.com

Molly Shannon, Food Editor food@lbunion.com

God Warrior, Grunion Editor grunion@lbunion.com

Alyssa Keyne, Alfred Pallarca, Athletics Editors athletics@lbunion.com

upcoming Halloween holiday, with the highlight being a giant spiderweb with a paper spider

Union Weekly METHOD ONE Come to our meetings, duh. But really, it’s the best way to go about getting

and realize that we too are real people. At our open meetings, each editor talks about

METHOD TWO Knowing that not everyone can come work and other obligations, we’ve worked out two solutions. We have a “Union Weekly Contributors” group on Facebook where well as ideas that we have during the week. the way to go. Additionally, as you can see,

editors one on one. This is where you get a great opportunity to volunteer to write to an idea, relay your own ideas, and just generally talk about the things that interest you.

Assistant Editors: Sam Winchester Contributors: Irene Refuerzo, Chris Dumas, Ruth Calcanas, Leah Sakacs, Christina Chavez Duarte,

little more ghoulish.

Questions? Comments? CatDogs? Long Beach, CA 90815.

Open Meetings are Tuesdays at 5:30pm in

email to talk about an idea, get help with an article or to just tell us that you like us. Join our Union Weekly Contributors group: http://tinyurl.com/kasq4yb

E-mail: info@lbunion.com Kevin Tran, Kristine De Leon

Flavor of Love.” And then you can

LBUnion.com


4 Opinions

Batman’s Origin The secret motivation of Alfred Pennyworth Roque Renteria Entertainment Editor Before I get any hate mail from die-hard Batman fanboys, let me just say that by no means do I consider myself an expert. I’ve been reading comics since elementary school, and I watch a lot of movies (this includes every Batman-related movie and even the lesser-known serials from the 1940s). It is not my intention to bastardize the noble mythology of Batman, but when you have a lot of free time and you think a come to mind. That being said, my argument is simple: Alfred Pennyworth is Batman’s real father. I know that may be a lot What kind of butler would go to all those crazy lengths to help his employer break would go through those tasks, unless he were related to Bruce. Like a father. I mean, think about his origin story: The two richest people in Gotham are gunned

down in a place called “Crime Alley.” Why would they walk home if they had dozens of cars at their disposal? My reasoning: it was a plot between Alfred and Martha Wayne. Thomas Wayne was a well-known surgeon, billionaire and philanthropist. He that he wasn’t always there to please his wife. Martha Wayne, feeling unloved and neglected focused her attention on the new handsome British butler they hired. First, Martha starts small conversations, then they form a friendship, and eventually they have a romantic relationship. One day, Alfred puts his “peenus” into Martha’s “vajine” (I recently found out this is how babies are made), and nine months later, Bruce slides out. Thomas Wayne is enthralled by his new baby boy and starts spending more time at way to keep Martha and Bruce for himself. After a few years of planning, he has his plot

ready. He hires a gunman to kill Thomas Wayne after leaving the opera. Martha agrees, which is why they decide to walk home that night instead of taking the car. The gunman messes up the directions given to him by Alfred and kills both of Bruce’s parents. Alfred, devastated by his mistake, can’t work up the courage to tell Bruce the truth. Instead, he lets Bruce live with anger. Later, when Alfred sees that Bruce wants to become Batman in order to prevent travesties like the one that happened to him, he encourages him because he sees that Bruce can help avenge the death of the woman he loved. Look, I know this theory is rough around the edges, but it’s not completely implausible. Alfred is a sick, twisted individual. He is extremely jealous. Have you seen the way he talks about Robin? He always tells Bruce not to take Master Grayson along. You know

Wounded Syria

why? Because Alfred doesn’t want to see his unacknowledged son love another person like the way that Alfred loves Bruce. In conclusion, I believe that the case can be made for Bruce’s true father. I just can’t wrap my head around the idea of a butler doing that much for his employer without having any familial ties. All the other things about the Batman series I can believe, but a loyal butler is not one of them.

Joseph Flores Contributor

Millions of Syrians in need of intervention Picture ghostly pale faces of Syrian men walking through plumes of pulverized concrete, with the blood of their children stained on their shivering hands, wondering if there is any humanity left. The death toll has reached 110,000 with nearly 10,000 being women and children, according to the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights. Such a mass loss of life could and should have been avoided if the United States and other countries would have reacted sooner. Only when the news of toxic gases killing Syrian protesters arose, did the US call foul. Before the chemical weapons caught the attention of the outside world, however, Syrian President Bashar AlAssad’s was slaughtering men, women,

and children without consequence. A loss of life though is still a loss of life, no matter if it came from a bullet wound or chemical gases. Syrians were calling upon

becomes an emotionless murderer it is the right and duty of the rest of the world to stop this from growing. The US prides itself on being a nation

to come to their rescue long before Assad began gassing them. When military snipers executed children and women waiting in bread lines, Syrians asked for help. When Assad ordered air raids on hospitals that held children with lost limbs, Syrians cried for help. But the United States did not answer these cries and allowed for this to continue. Yes, there are

to believe when it allows for thousands of women and children to be slaughtered by the hands of an assassin. We were so quick after the events of 9/11 to bomb Iraq after it supposedly held weapons of mass destruction, which we now know it did not. But when the US knew for a fact that Syria did poses WMD’s and was using them on its own people, we hesitated. President Barack Obama continues to not act, waiting and giving President Assad time to agree to give up these chemical

in another country’s issues, but when a President becomes a tyrant and that tyrant

weapons. Delay can be deadly, however, and even if Assad does agree, it will only be a slap on the wrist after he unwaveringly killed many of his own people. One thing is true and that is that hundreds of thousands of innocent Syrians have died under the control of their tyrannical president and they will not allow for a man who has killed so many, and will continue to do so, to stay in power. Innocent people are being exterminated with guns, bombs and toxic gases and it is the duty of the US Military under Obama to act swiftly on Assad’s actions and it is the duty of the American people to be aware of the truth and to pressure its nation to stand for peace.


5 Opinions

Mo’ Money, Less Problems Why the minimum wage should be raised Michael Wood Music Editor Alright, it has come time to talk about the minimum wage in this nation. It’s pitiful when you realize exactly how low it is in parts of the country. Hell, in some states you can pay serving staff as low as $2.13 per hour. That’s an absolute travesty, but luckily California is ahead of the curve when it comes to paying has been signed that promises to raise the minimum wage to a much more tolerable $10/hour, up from $8/hour. A 25% increase in the minimum wage is just what the doctor ordered in such a stagnant economy. It isn’t just good sense for a modern industrialized region to pay its workers enough to buy the services and products they produce, it’s also the most humane thing to do for the legions of people out there who toil for their earnings and make this economy run. First off, let me address the idea that

folks don’t deserve such high wages for unskilled work. I highly recommend that the type of people who say this kind of thing take a walk in a minimum wage worker’s shoes. I can’t stress this enough—minimum wage work is no more fun or easy than work that will earn you five times as much. In fact, spending eight hours a day taking orders from the annoying assholes who see you as a prime target for their frustrations behind the counter at Wendy’s isn’t easy at all. Have you met the general public? They’re real sacks of shit to service workers and on top of that, you have to smile at them and pretend you want to be there. Working outside of the service sector, you usually aren’t sent home without pay for being a little annoyed or unhappy one day because at least in those types of jobs, it’s recognized that you can have a bad day and not be punished for it.

Breaking Bald

We’re all turning into naked mole rats

Alfred Pallarca Athletics Editor

Ever since the invention of sharp edges, humanity has declared war on body hair. From shaving to waxing and threading, the ways to remove body hair have evolved drastically. We simply dislike hair on our body. It seems that the goal is to be just like Rufus, the naked mole rat from Kim Possible. I am not quite sure how this war and hatred towards hair sparked, but one

For that price, I could get a new phone or

nature’s doing. It was his choice to pluck it

by the minute. People have spent so much money and energy removing hair on their arms, lips, crotches, legs, faces, etc that it is ridiculous. Time and technology have been dedicated to innovate the way we remove them. Apparently, there are foams that annihilate any hair on your body faster than the settlers annihilated the native people of these lands. I recently heard a friend planning to get a $300 package to rid any hair below her waist.

It is insane to me how much hatred we have towards these poor follicles. Of course, I am not saying we should revert back to our caveman days and trade our sweaters for a bush full of fur. As a man in the 21st century, I do understand that the clean cut look is very appealing and more professional. However, as we run out of hair to get pluck and shave, some of our brethren are wanting to keep the war going. I was walking around campus some days ago when I saw a girl completely rocking an eyebrow-less look on her face. I assume that the only hairs on her body are the ones on the top of her head. I was appalled. Before you come up with any ideas that this person might have a disease that lead to the demise of her eyebrows, well you’re wrong. Because I actually know this person, and she is

a fast food joint shouldn’t be making six figures or anything of the sort, but goddammit, if they work 40 hours a week, they deserve the right to support themselves comfortably and not live in poverty. Can we at least agree on that? Can we agree that a person who works 40 hours a week should be paid a wage that allows them to—well, live? Increasing the minimum wage in California will put us among the highest paid low-level workers in the nation. Without a doubt, that spurs consumer demand, which does in fact create jobs. People who couldn’t afford it now will be going out to dinner every once in a while, getting their cars repaired instead of holding them together with duct tape, and maybe buying a few simple luxuries for themselves. The troubling thing about these economic times is that people

completely healthy. She has also graduated so the chances of her reading this is pretty slim. I have encountered her a few times and was even on a face-to-face level with her, close enough to see the small hair growing out from above her eyes. I can bet that she chose to shave it. I know that it was a trend a few seasons back to have this eyebrow-less look. Several models bleached or just completely shaved their eyebrows to rock the alien-esque look Alexander McQueen was trying to establish. It never really seem to catch on, however, personally like eyebrows, but maybe I’m a fool. This girl could be one of the pioneers of an eyebrow free world. Frieda Kahlo, eat your Some days after this incident, I saw a guy in my class who was rocking a centimeter or two of eyebrows on his face. It wasn’t

forced into lower paying jobs by the crisis simply cannot afford to move the economy forward. They’re stuck wondering how they will afford rent rather than wondering if they can afford to furnish their apartments with some nicer stuff. It’s time that millions of Californians got a pay raise. It’s a tad late and we simply won’t know whether it will be enough when it is actually implemented in a few years. But dammit, we’ve been working hard and if the greedy bosses won’t pay us something fair, then it’s the duty of the good folks up in Sacramento to get us the wages we deserve. Luckily, those folks have followed through for once and have done a real great thing for the average Joe at the bottom of the socio-economic ladder.

he had a normal set of brows. My assumption is right. We are in fact in a war; a war to rid purpose of this to be honest. We are slowly vanishing hair out of its existence. In actuality, I am quite scared to see what the future will look like. Perhaps South Park’s depiction of humanity in the future is pretty spot on; jumpsuit-wearing people with no inch of hair present in their body. of tomorrow. I don’t want to take my family picture with my grandchildren one day and see all of us be completely hairless. I want to be the only one lacking follicles and balding as Father Time intended it to be. So please, put down the tweezers, save your chump change, and let your hair grow out.


6 Campus

Campus Movie Fest Kevin Tran Staffer

It’s the end of June and I’m in the Warner Brothers Theater alongside other Cal State results of the Campus Movie Fest awards. The theater is very prestigious, suit and tie style, and the ambience resembles that of an Emmys ceremony, minus Neil Patrick Harris’ Broadway voice. Keegan Michael Key steps up to the mic and announces the award for Best Story. Through the nominee readings, he said the name of my movie, Pillow d’Amour. Even though he said it wrong, it honestly didn’t matter because those were my two seconds of fame right there. At this point, I didn’t care about winning, plus I already knew I wasn’t going to win anyway. However, it was the journey and experience, though very cliché indeed, that really mattered. Campus Movie Fest is the largest student festival empire reaches from sea to shining sea. Now you’re probably asking, why Campus Movie Fest? Campus Movie Fest is a very unique festival in that it understands simply a hard-knock student. We’re not like Mitt Romney and can throw money at the problem. We have visions and perspectives that yearn to be communicated. But this form of communication comes with a price tag, and that is where the good old CMF team steps in. Now, because Campus Movie Fest is student friendly, it doesn’t mean that it’s without rules. For starters, CMF has the option of providing you with equipment, such as a camera and a laptop. People tend to underestimate the rule of them providing equipment. Although I personally don’t use their camera, I like the fact that everyone people without cameras can now have a

Photos by Chris Dumas Contributor

their given week (this does not include PreProduction). This rule doesn’t seem hard, but one year, I had to work on four other projects not including my own. As a result, the groups and I all met with one another and formulized a schedule as follows: Derp

of sleep as a result of CMF week. including end credits. This is probably the hardest rule. Not because you’re reaching

minutes. Lastly, my personal favorite rule,

competitions require a fee, which makes sense if you want to weed out the cat skateboarding videos. Personally, I would know, for sure, that my movie was going to win. However, with Campus Movie Fest, I don’t have to worry about having the best movie. I just care about getting my image onto the big screen. it. Now what? Next comes the Campus Award Ceremony, and because our screening is always near the end of October, there is always a Halloween themed ceremony. However, the biggest factor in going is the Personally, I never miss a screening of my own movies, even if it’s being played in the deep dark denizens of a Tea Party rally. It’s a whole lot of fun, and the anticipation overload. Keep in mind that if you do win, you do have to make a speech. So let’s say you win Best Comedy, Best

Drama, Best Picture, or get nominated in a category. What’s next? You have the opportunity to go to Hollywood, to which I heavily advise you to go. Now going to Hollywood has both its upside and its downside. The downside, for starters, is it’s Hollywood. It’s so easy to go there that it’s not as special as, say, going to New York City. tacos. However, that works in your favor as well, for you don’t need a plane ticket or a hotel room, saving you a tremendous amount of dough if you live in the Long Beach area. Now that you’re in Hollywood with other instinct is to simply talk to these people. They dig locals. I’ve always said that the best moments during the Hollywood trips are the forced to talk to whoever’s sharing the ride with you. For an icebreaker with folks who aren’t from around here, I tell them about the marvelous intricacies of “Animal Style” in In-N-Out burgers. I also talk about how awesome the beaches are here, even though I hate beaches in general. Also, another important tid-bit to take into consideration, make sure you bring business cards. Filmmaking is a collaborative

second day (my favorite day) is when we go to numerous workshops and Q&A’s. CMF has the magical ability in grabbing some elite cinematographer on Inception and The Dark Knight Rises, and John Landau, the producer of Avatar. CMF also reaches out to small Wong and the team from “Funny or Die.” They even had the magician consultant from Now You See Me come teach us about yet another movie not shown in theaters yet. The last day is probably the biggest day in that they screen everybody’s movies, and if you show up, you get to be in the Q&A where people ask questions about your question out, even joke questions. To end the day, they have the award ceremony, and this isn’t your typical Program Council type award ceremony. It’s a large ceremony that out actual celebrities to present the winners of certain categories, like as mentioned above, Keegan Michael Key. I leave that for you to decide if Campus Movie Fest is worth it or not. I plan on doing it a third time to complete my trilogy, so sign up. The competition is nigh, and may the best an equal chance of winning.

life there, it’s important to get down their information, and business cards are the best way to go about it. Now CMF Hollywood comprises of so many things that they have to stretch the a meet-and-greet, some workshops, and a movie not shown in theaters yet. Our movies were Despicable Me 2, and Ron Howard’s Rush; a movie that was released on September

“All students are eligible to sign up You can sign up in person on Monday and Wednesday at the Southwest Terrace CMF tent, in the College Beat

questions.”


Fueling Change Creating a resource center for undocumented students Elizabeth Zambrano Contributor

resources are up-to-date and accurate. Yes, we already have the Raza Student Center. However, this is an assumption that all undocumented students as Latinos. This is not so. I know just as many Asian and Caribbean undocumented students are Latinos. We often forget that immigration is not a Latino issue, but a global multicultural issue. By implying that the Raza Student Center can provide these resources, then we

or not—can come in without the fear that they will be harassed, criticized, or judged for their status. As students, we spend most of our days at school. We may not be able to control what occurs within our communities or our homes, but we can damn well make sure that every student on campus feels safe and secure.

If you would like to know more about reclaimed their identity by “coming out of the shadows.” No longer afraid or ashamed of their status, they now proudly cry out, “undocumented, unafraid, and unapologetic.” Revealing your undocumented status is a very hard decision. Some are proud and will, with no hesitation, identify as undocumented. Others are afraid, embarrassed, or reserved. For me, it was easier to come out as queer than it was to come out as undocumented. I now join other undocumented students and allies to advocate for immigration reform, quality education, and student empowerment. To respect everyone’s privacy, we

without being undocumented. What is AB that allows nonresident students to be exempt from paying out-of-state tuition in California. These students attended a California high school for three or more years, graduated from a California high school or attained a G.E.D., registered or enrolled at an accredited public she will apply for legal residency as soon as possible, and not hold a valid non-immigrant visa. Because of this bill, as well as D.A.C.A. (Deferred Action for Childhood for Arrivals), and the California DREAM Acts, students— like myself, who have lived in California for without costing an arm and a leg. Following the movement, a group of undocumented CSULB students formed the student organization Future Underrepresented Educated Leaders

available within our campus. It is also a chance

for either policy. For me, I did not qualify for the DREAM Acts and had to pay tuition out scholarships that I qualify for. It also provided me with a safe place to express myself without fear. Unfortunately, F.U.E.L. is limited as an organization. We are a few dozen students with limited both resources and funding in a It is for this reason we aim to create an

need a resource center, you may ask? Well, students, while decent, are scattered all over campus. Where would a freshman or they can qualify for, internships they can apply to, applications they are required to

will treat them unfairly when they reveal their immigration status? Who can they go to ask for help without having to explain or defend their status? Where will they go to seek much needed counseling without having to explain their situation for the eightieth time?

undocumented students. However, there are not enough allies on campus. For example, I am an English major and yet there are no allies within my department. Who do I go to for advice when an ally is not available? A resource center can help students who do not have anyone available to ask for advice. Guide. However, that guide is outdated by 5 years. The guide states that undocumented students cannot attain licenses. We know this to be untrue with the addition of DACA and

like-minded people. F.U.E.L. aims to advocate politically and socially conscious on campus and in their communities. While D.A.C.A. and the California DREAM Acts help solve some of these problems, there

is also outdated. Where in the guide is crucial information on the DREAM Acts? How can AB are outdated and incorrect? With a resource

Center would be inclusive to every one, not just Latinos. Above all, a resource center would provide a safe space where anyone—undocumented

Dream Resource Center, or just to chill with us, then come to our meetings! F.U.E.L.

7 Campus

“Above all, a resource center would provide a safe space where anyone— undocumented or not—can come in without the fear that they will be harassed, criticized, or judged for their status.”


8 Culture

BOUND FOR Finding all the best spots in your backyard Downtowns are the heart of a city. It’s where all the movers and shakers do their boogie hard. Every city has a unique nightlife that accentuates its idiosyncratic personality and character. We understand that you’re college students looking for a little fun and adventure. And you can only watch re-runs of Friends in your dorm for

so long before it actually becomes depressing considering the fact that you have no friends. But don’t worry, we’ve done the actual footwork for you. We’ve sent our

spots for you to explore!

HUNTINGTON BEACH Downtown Huntington Beach is a

Molly Shannon Food Editor if the ‘50s aren’t really your thing, you can either grab a bite at Bomburger, wolf down

drive to Downtown Huntington Beach for berries and other healthy fruits are blended

SAN DIEGO

Renee Schmiedeberg Contributor and a video camera, allowing those sitting in the bar who’ve already gotten in, to watch newcomers feel around the grassy wall for

feel as if you have fallen into an enchanted

a hidden door (which is covered in grass)

FULLERTON

Roque Renteria Entertainment Editor

I’ve always considered Fullerton to be nothing more than a college town with little to

If yoga isn’t your thing, you can go over to and yoga studios that give downtown Fullerton from Commonwealth and Harbor to Wilshire,

sun goes down, head over to one of the various


DOWNEY

Alfred Pallarca Athletics Editor

told me we were moving there, I thought

SAN PEDRO

Michael Wood Music Editor

downtown in the traditional sense of the we live in, there are a bunch of good food stomach starts growling, try one of the

ANAHEIM

Rose Feduk Editor in Chief a newly renovated museum, vendors that sell

the downtown area to elevate it from a ghost

Culture

DOWNTOWN

9


10 Literature

“Poetry is one of those ‘hard on the outside, soft on the inside’ mysteries of life that only begins to make sense when approached through a poet’s eyes.”

Phonetic Feast A review of this year’s Long Beach Poetry Festival Irene Refuerzo Contributor Ruth Calcanas Contributor Don’t you just love sitting around with your friends on a Fall Saturday afternoon relaxing with your pumpkin spice latte and listening to poetry? Because we—wait, did you just say that poetry is boring? Why would you say that? Poetry is the most Watching a poem come to life through its story than when you’re forced to face lines and pages of it in your mandated English class. When you’re required to write an essay about the symbolism in poems that are over 430 lines, like T.S. Elliot’s The Wasteland, poetry instantaneously becomes the enemy; even poem-loving English majors like us have to agree. But in all honesty, poetry is one of those “hard on the outside, soft on the inside” mysteries of life that only begins to make sense when approached through a poet’s eyes. How do you not drown in the ABAB-CDCD-BLAH BLAH rhyme scheme of English sonnets and the 5-7-5 syllable pattern of haikus, you ask? Well, the answer is simple: you listen. On October 12th, the city of Long Beach held their annual Poetry Festival at the sitting, laughing, crying, and cursing at this crazy but beautiful world with various poets from all over the nation. Professors and published poets ranging from Indiana to San Diego, to our very own CSULB campus, recited their heartfelt poems and sat amongst us in the heat of all the creative outbursts in were given warm introductions and a chance to show us the real inspiration behind each of their written words. We’re not lying when we say that laughter was spewed across the room, nor are we exaggerating when we say that tears were shed. Feeling as if you are a part of the poets was inevitable as the raw emotion in their voices emanated viscerally through every person in the audience. In between each three-poet, one hour interval, we were given the chance to interview four of the poets who captivated us

the most: Jackleen Holton, Steve Henn, UCI professor Lorene Delany Ullman, and our very own CSULB professor Patty Seyburn

Jackleen Holton (San Diego) Q: What is your continuing inspiration? I know a lot of it you said was your family and events that happen in your life. A: I guess poets just have to think a little bit sort of get under it and realize the humor and the weirdness of it. I just continually do that with day-to-day things and, if they strike me as funny or something that I need to write about, I have to write about it. Steve Henn (Indiana) wanted to become a published poet? A: I don’t know that publishing was an original goal. I started writing significantly in high school and it’s actually this, I’ve always wanted to stand up in front of

crowds and read stuff because I thought I could be funny. Lorene Delany Ullman (UC Irvine) Q: What was your motivation to start writing poetry? A: Originally it was self-expression. I’ve been writing poetry since eighth grade, so a long time of self-expression before I even thought about publishing. Patty Seyburn (CSULB) Q: Where do you get you inspiration from, is it personal? A: Just funny little details, you know I was driving home the other day and a huge truck next to me was carrying trench plate covers, and I’m like what the hell? I thought “those are trench plate covers?” I think sometimes these little details come to me and they start to sort of develop in relationship to one another. That’s also why I like writing poetry I like being a part of that connection.

Q: You’re education record is very prestigious referring to your B.A. from Northwestern University, do you believe students that attend CSULB, a “state school” as many people like to call it, can attain a certain level of success such as yourself being a published author. Long Beach and that’s where I’ll be the rest of my life, I love teaching at Long Beach. I’ve taught at USC, I’ve taught at Cal Arts before that, my Long Beach students are the best, they’re fabulous. I mean we are so lucky you know, and the caliber to me, and the caliber of my colleagues is certainly as good as USC, and USC is a good school. So I have no doubt that Long Beach students can get that education. In terms of the quality education you can get at Long Beach, I have no doubt it is as strong as any other good four year

Rip Rap Reading: Don’t Miss It! Katie Healy Literature Editor Are you sad about missing the awesome Long Beach Poetry Festival? You should

people share with you a whole month’s then don’t miss the upcoming reading for CSULB’s Creative Writing MFA students. The event is run by Rip Rap, our campus literary journal, and it’s hosted by Gatsby Books here in Long Beach. Readings, which begin at 7:00pm and will run until 9:00pm on Tuesday, October 29th. The featuring writers and poets will be Cassady Ozimec, Chase Selby, Cory Wilson, Marcus Clayton, Bochettaz, and Renee Moulton. It’s free, so


“Glancing at the other people in the dance class who were now doing pelvic thrusts . . .”

mother enrolled me in ballet. I ended up pairs of sneakers trying to step in rhythm with Britney Spears’ “Freakshow.” As I watched the dance instructor in the front of the room, my body stayed frozen in one spot, standing with my shoulders hunched together, and a cold sweat creeping up on the back of my neck. What was I even doing here? Oh right. My friends dragged me. “It won’t be hard,” they said. “It’ll be fun,” they said. Uh-huh. The pulsating beats of the song boomed beneath my feet, while everyone else started to gyrate their hips. My throat felt dry, and my hands were starting to become clammy. There was just something about dancing in public that made me uncomfortable. Ever in dancing. When I was eight years old, my

When I was 10, my mother enrolled me in a hip hop class. Though I didn’t cry this time, a huge feeling of dread swept over me every time the instructor told us to do the “six

of the ground with our hands. In the eighth grade, my class was required to learn the salsa and swing. I can’t tell you how many times I stepped on my dance partner’s feet. Good rhythm was something I never really had when it came to dancing. And as I stood ground, I realized something: Dancing just wasn’t my thing. It gave me so much anxiety that an unthinkable thought popped into my mind. I’d rather take a midterm. At least that was

Syria’s Son Joseph Flores Contributor Don’t leave me Can’t you see I need you? To veil my eyes from seeing my sister’s blood run from her breathless body To brush my hair with your soothing hand The one that tells me I will still hear your voice as I fade to sleep Wake up, quit your playing And tell me every explosion Every crack of a bullet

Shout it once more for me Or at least whisper it in my ear And I will whisper it to my sister’s

Kristine De Leon Contributor Illustration by Jane Lu Contributor

something familiar: Feeling the weight of a No.2 pencil in my hand as I slid it across

the next page, and the clock ticking in the background of the classroom. I know how ridiculous it seems to have such a thought. But glancing at the other people in the dance class who were now doing pelvic thrusts, I no longer regret that thought. I would rather take a midterm.

Literature

I’d Rather Take a Midterm

11


12 Athletics

Flipping Out With Fixies

Alfred Pallarca

visits CSULB

Spotlight on Sports Clubs CSULB Stalkers

CSULB Salsa Cristina Chavez Duarte

Illustrations by Jane Lu


13 Music

Our Favorite Artists from Around the World Veronica Maggio Alfred Pallarca Athletics Editor

Finley Sam Winchester Assistant Editor

France Gall John Castille Contributor

If you’ve been around me for more than 30 minutes, then you have probably heard me drop not so subtle hints of my obsession to learn the Swedish language. This obsession has lead me to dabbling into several Swedish artists to help my ears adapt to listening to the language. Of all the Swedish artists I have stumbled upon, my favorite to listen to is Veronica Maggio. In fact, you can see and hear me entering the CSULB parking while blasting Maggio’s seemingly melancholy tunes on the highest volume (whateva, I’ll do what I want). I

describe it as “seemingly melancholy” because after you’ve heard enough Swedish people talking, it seems impossible for the language to sound dismal due to the natural humming tone of their accent. According to a friend, Maggio is popular among the hipster community in Sweden. Most of her lyrics seems to be about longing for someone or something (perhaps, vodka) or just being buck-wild crazy on the streets. Though I could be wrong and probably am wrong, because my vocabulary in Swedish can only take me so far. However, you don’t

Being a foreigner myself, I grew up listening to music in Spanish—my mother tongue—for the most part of my life. However, going to a bilingual school since kindergarten introduced me to music in English at a very young age. I didn’t really start listening to other foreign music until I was in middle school, where I had a passive aggressive need to listen to “underground” music for the sake of my reputation as the weirdo of my class. So I took my laptop and typed down “cool foreign music” on YouTube—because I was such a snob—and

French singers, I found an interesting music video from an Italian band called Finley. The words didn’t make much sense, even though people think Italian is quite like Spanish, but I loved the rhythm and the singer’s voice. As the inner Japanese, teenage groupie in me proceeded to frantically look for a download page for their CD online, I decided to look for more information about the band as well. I read their brief biography on Wikipedia, and back then in 2007 they only had two studio albums, so I went and

The French have a certain way with everything they touch. Even when taking pop, they leave their own mark on it before lighting up a Gauloise and cursing the damn

Gall, the queen of French Ye-Ye scene. The thing that separates the French Ye-Ye from the likes of The Crests, The Ronettes, or any of the other girl groups to

need to know Swedish or be a Swede hipster to jam or even sing along to her music. They are pretty catchy and somewhat has a tint of jazz in its tunes. It’s a good song to hear when you’re simply having a bad day, pre-game for a girl’s night out on the town, or if you just want to kick someone in the nuts. Among her songs, some of my favorite are “Jag kommer” (I’m coming), “Måndagsbarn” (Monday’s Child), “Mitt Hjärta Blöder” (My Heart Bleeds or is Bleeding), and “Snälla bli min” (Please, be mine).

got them. I also found the lead singer, Marco Pedretti (better known as Pedro) on Twitter a few months later and I followed him. The day I found him I tweeted him something in English, claiming that I was already a big fan, and he not only put that tweet in his favorites, he retweeted me and answered: “Nice to know you, Sam!” I swear I could not sleep that night. I don’t recommend music anymore, but if you’re into rock or pop punk, and you like the Italian language, you should give these ragazzi a shot.

tended to be jazz-tinged and distinct to the Francophone world, not necessarily catering to the interests of the rest of the world. If you want to understand the sound that I’m “Poupee de Cire Poupee de Son.” I can’t

Ska-P Michael Wood Music Editor

Nancy Sinatra, add some real depth to the music, a vibrant and full wall of sound that would make Phil Spector jealous and you would get something that resembles France

pop in that era of American musical history was very much soul and R&B that have been cleaned up and sanitized for consumption by white audiences, people like France Gall,

Ska-P is as good as it gets in the realm of Latin takes on Anglo takes on Caribbean music (Granted that is a small category). These ska punks from Spain seriously sizzle with every song on their set list and they can play up and down the spectrum between fun and danceable ska and angry, political and moshable punk. Don’t believe me? Listen to

taking stabs at the United States, Israel or even capitalism as a whole much of the time. I spent a lot of my high school years with their songs, nurturing both my attempt to

The best part about these guys is that they’re political and don’t stand back from

tongue. While English language ska has been dead in the water for about a decade and

pinko worldview. It seems that ska took a hold in parts of the world, and in languages nobody would

her style, or the style of the Ye Ye singers in general, than that single.

the Spanish language ska scene has been

and in Spain. So a message to you ska fans out there who have been lamenting the demise of freshman year Spanish class knowledge and si hablas español!


14 Entertainment

Apocalyptic Anemia Why The Walking Dead is overrated Kevin Tran Contributor Over the past couple of years, the zombie apocalypse and the media have been together like the Tea Party and Megyn Kelly’s boobs. However, now that the honeymoon period is slowly packing up, it zombie pun). What I’m trying to get at is, zombies are starting to get boring and it’s starting to show in the declining quality of AMC’s The Walking Dead. When I say The Walking Dead is overrated, I basically mean, the overall dickless attempts of the last two golden in its delivery of drama and tension, wrapped up in only six episodes. The pilot, “Days Gone Bye,” is quite possibly one of the most riveting pilots I’ve seen in quite some time. I genuinely cared for the father and son relationship from Morgan and Duane, I cared for the mercy killing of the bicycle girl, and the image of Rick riding into Atlanta still haunts me to this day.

is number one on IMDB’s Top 250 list. My penis is no longer hard. I was excited when season two came, and then I noticed that something was wrong. The pacing went from normal to glacier slow, the plot is repetitive, Rick is constantly talking about how he wants to protect the group instead of actually doing faced prick motherfucker, and worst of all, the group will not leave the fucking farm. there are multiple places that Rick took in just six episodes: His hometown, Atlanta, the woods, and the CDC. What do you have in season two? A fucking farm. Every back to the fucking farm. Fucking Hershel doesn’t even want them on the fucking

They did not need a whole fucking season to stay in one fucking farm. Fuck, they pulled

made the episode compelling as fuck. At least season three broke new grounds by having two locations: A prison, and a town.

the island next. If all you care about is who

through so much shit that we start to care for them. Rick Grimes’ character arc, on the other hand, has the intricacies of a half

that can easily be cut out, like the endless amounts of people talking and more talking. The zombie invasion is becoming Warm Bodies was eh, World War Z was eh, Black Ops II Zombies was eh, The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct was a double eh. The last line of defense is, of course, The Walking Dead itself, and that ship is starting to sail. I don’t know how to tell you this,

The show has too much drama with

they’re needs to be some improvement, or

the adaptation to the bone, like The Hobbit, sucking out the humanity with things

scapegoat, like leprechauns, Cthulhu, or Gary Busey’s face.

wants Walter White or Jesse Pinkman to die because their character arcs and journeys improvement from the previous, in that they have the long awaited Governor, quite possibly the only redeeming quality of this season. They also brought back Merle, but managed to fuck up his character. They have Andrea, a really strong female character turned into a weak damsel in distress. They have a black guy die in the same episode with another important character, thus nullifying his death as cannon fodder. They built up to a potentially exciting climax have Rick hallucinating ghosts because the writers couldn’t come up with a way to make his character controversial, and Carl becomes an asshole. Basically, when I was introduced to The Walking Dead, I was shown that the genres of zombies, horror, and drama can coexist, and seeing it in a be taken seriously. But season two and three basically showed me that everyone’s internal wet dream of a zombie apocalypse can be a boring piece of shit scenario. people like this show? Is it because of the walkers? Is it because of Rick’s morality and ethics that come into question? Is it because of the lovey dovey boy toy role that Daryl and Merle play? Why? In my own opinion, when it comes to The Walking Dead, people will spam Facebook with the death of the characters and their reaction towards them. However, this ain’t no Game of Thrones shit where the people you love

no longer expand upon, especially with the unfortunate deaths of a particular race of people with a darker skin pigmentation. What I’m trying to get at is that it’s not about the merits of the characters or their moral actions that underlie the ethics of the


You’ve Been Served. Tales from behind the food service front lines Coco’s Helen Nguyen Contributor

Cinemark Molly Shannon Food Editor

McDonald’s Michael Wood Music Editor

Subway Leah Sakacs Contributor

15 Food

“Never have I ever hated a job with such intense passion.”


Volume 73 Issue 9

Monday, October 21, 2013

LBUNION.COM

DISCLAIMER: Hey, God Warrior Here. Do you believe in life after Grun? I can feel something inside me say, I really don’t think you’re Grun enough, now. Do you believe in life after Grun? I can Grun Grunthing Grunside me say, send me all the mails to 1212 Bellflower Blvd Suite 239, Long Beach, CA 90815. This page is satire and does not represent ASI nor the CSULB campus. In Grun’s name, I pray you submit articles via email to grunion@lbunion.com. Grun on, y’all.

CSULB Tenured Professor John Staff, Ph.D. earns Lifetime Achievement Award I wouldn’t be telling you anything new if I were to say that misconceptions spread like a virus around the CSULB campus. Of all 657 professors at CSU Long Beach, none are as underrated by Thor Hoven and surrounded by (Design Intern) false impressions as Dr. John Staff. Hired school’s existence, the then quasi-prodigy developed into one of the most accomplished country, but, up until last week, recognition for a lifetime of successful teaching never came. On October 11th, 2013, Staff became one of the 14 faculty members in our school’s history to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award from the California Board of Education, putting an end to what CBE Superintendent Tom Torlakson called “Dr. Staff ’s invisible years.” Amazed by how such an enlightened individual could go unnoticed for so long, we decided to reach out to Staff, who was kind enough to sit down with me in his dimly-lit Grunion: I must admit that I am extremely impressed by your long career in teaching. John Staff: Thank you. Most college students these days take their professors’ dedication to academia for granted; I have been teaching for 64 years and still feel like I could go another 10.

G: What classes are you teaching this semester? Has your age affected the course load you are able to take on? JS: No, much on the contrary. I am older, yes, but that only means I have had more I am teaching 67 classes this semester, mainly lectures for the College of the Arts, School of Business, and the School of Science. G: Why do you think it took the university so long to recognize your cool contributions to education? Do you think your ambiguous, default-sounding name played a part in it?

with me, Dr. Staff. Before I go, I wanted to say I love the “Staff Armed and Trained” sign you have hanging on that wall. Great pun! Congratulations on your Lifetime Achievement Award. JS: Thank you for stopping by! John Staff, Ph.D.’s award plaque can be seen in SSPA 004 (basement), Monday-Friday, from 2PM to d. For appointments or group demonstrations of the plaque, contact Christy Sanders at 562-985-8000.

yeah, I think the [CSULB] administration took a while to understand that classes taught by “Staff ” are classes taught by me; let me break it to you: “Staff ” is not a placeholder for professor-less classes. G: Interesting. Several generations of students have gone through your classroom, and I was curious as to how college now compares with college in the early years of CSU Long Beach. change I have noticed was the ingression of women in the college system. Boy, was I happy of my HSC-425I class. Until then, it was mostly war vets putting the GI bills to use. computer screens for the entire duration of the seminar, and the level of professor-student interaction, if you know what I mean, has greatly diminished. G: Thanks for taking the time to meet

“STILL SWAYZE AFTER ALL THESE YEARS”

This week in Grun of the Mill, we bring you the most up-to-date, important, hardhitting grun news. Serial knob-gobbler, Rod Mushmouth is convicted of second-degree motor-scroting. Defense attorney, Peter Supplesuckle, insists that his client should have been found not guilty due to the fact that we all have a little out to knobble some gobs and also gobble some knobs. Recent survey reveals that over 80% of earth women with clearly visible camel toes claim that their genital silhouettes are not their own fault but the work of a spectre of unknown origin. “I don’t know what happened, I felt a chill, I saw a ghostly form, I looked down, and, BOOM, a ghost gave me camel-toe.” Don’t believe it? Search #spookycoochie on Instagram. Or read this month’s issue of Dig magazine, featuring a story about #spookycoochie that has already been published by every other publication on campus. You’ll love it, they have tons of awesomely pixilated pictures of their own sculptures and shit. And since they have a whole month to do it, they take their time, perfecting each article for a whole month. After their month of hard work, Dig farts the ‘49er can do in one day.

INSIDE

EMINEM’S NEW SONG “AIN’T NO SANDWICH WHEN SHE’S GONE” GOES VIRAL

Grun of the mill

MONICA LEWINSKI TO CHANGE NAME TO HANUKKAH LEWINSKI


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