Respecting Culture by Union Weekly

Intro

Issue 76.9

Molly Shannon, Editor-in-Chief editorinchief@lbunion.com

By Molly Shannon

Alfred Pallarca, Managing Editor alfredp.union@gmail.com

Live from New York, it’s Molls here. That’s right y’all—after years of indecisiveness, I

Illustration by Rose Feduk

Connor O’Brien, Art Director connor.union@gmail.com Trevor Desrosiers, Advertising Executive advertising@lbunion.com Eduardo Vargas, Distribution Manager distribution@lbunion.com

ART & DESIGN John Calhoun, Illustration Editor johnc.union@gmail.com Michael Tewasart, Assistant to Art Director tewasartm@live.com Truc Nguyen, Web Manager web@lbunion.com

EDITORIAL

Molls

Jacky Linares, Opinions Editor opinions@lbunion.com Veronica Craft, Community Editor community@lbunion.com Joel Martinez, Athletics Editor athletics@lbunion.com Renee Schmiedeberg, Arts Editor arts@lbunion.com Katie Cortez, Entertainment Editor entertainment@lbunion.com Sam Winchester, Music Editor music@lbunion.com Zach Phelps, Lifestyle Editor lifestyle@lbunion.com Elizabeth Nguyen, Literature Editor literature@lbunion.com Alfred Pallarca, Travel Editor alfredp.union@gmail.com Beatriz Villa, Food Editor food@lbunion.com Gumby, Grunion Editor grunion@lbunion.com

COPY & ASSISTANT EDITORS Elliott Gatica, Eric Reid Hamilton, Kaila-Marie Hardaway, Christopher Orozco ADVERTISING INTERNS Joel Kuehn, Jacqueline Simon STAFFERS & CONTRIBUTORS Jonathan Beltran, Foster Lackie, Jonathan Gutierrez, John Broadway, Nahil Zabaneh, Ryan Morgan, Kamille Garcia, Andrew Linde, Lauren Hunter, Marisol Samayao, Karrie Comfort, Amanda Dominguez-Chio, Lavender Brownie

“Let’s Split a Soup”

Disclaimer and Publication Information: The Union Weekly is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of their individual authors, not the Union Weekly, ASI nor CSULB. All students are welcome and encouraged to be a part of the Union Weekly staff. All letters to the editor will be considered for publication. However, CSULB students will have precedence. Please include name and major for all submissions. They are subject to editing and will not be returned. Letters may or may not be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. The Union Weekly will publish anonymous letters, articles, editorials, and illustration, but must have your name and information attached for our records. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 500 words. The Union Weekly assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for

Opinions

Here’s to Long Beach and The Beach! Speak the truth as a way of life By Johnathan Beltran Now, to give you a little personal testimony of mine, I initially hated CSULB. I felt at the time (as a stuck-up AP student in high ranking programs) that CSULB was a school for failures; it did not amount to anything compared to the prestigious UC Berkley nor its cousin UCLA in the slightest! I had to go to these schools or else my future would die. Fast-forward to March of 2014, long story short, I got rejected from both, and I got stuck with CSULB in August of 2014. I seldom thought I would get a moment of enjoyment, or hell, even an iota of contentment. Sure, it was ranked as one of the top universities, so what? If it did not have no-go. But anyway, I learned how to adapt to the culture, inner workings of student life, and the “activities” in the university (e.g. concerts, clubs, exploring). And what do I think of it now? SPECTACULAR! I don’t think I have ever enjoyed a time in school with people who come from so many

From colorful streets to muddy waters

Illustration by John Calhoun from Benghali, India to become an electrical engineer, and another came all the way from San Jose to attend a university that I thought was for “failures.” Well I guess we all are failures in our own unique way, but that is to polish and improve us “failures,” so we can become a marketable master in our craft. Not only that, there is an abundant amount of opportunities to be more engaged in univeristy related programs. In fact, I became a volunteer over at KBeach by simply sitting down in the room and chatting with the members. It was because of this daunting and kind of intimidating experience that I am now an active and dedicated member of the radio station. I currently board op a Monday show, attend weekly talk shows in the morning, and am working on getting my own show in later weeks! There is so much more that I can say, but for now, I am going to leave it at that. CSULB has a plethora of resources and activities. Use every one of them!

Long Beach is a melting pot of cultures, religions, nationalities, and philosophies. As a long time resident of this microcosm of the world, I can say that I have experienced a fair share of diversity just behind my backyard. From the ever lively quinceañeras that play behind my house, to the Filipino feasts that take up a bulk of the neighborhood’s park lots, it is no wonder that Long Beach hosts such a vast array of ethnicities. In Long Beach, not only are cultures and ethnicities not separated, they are integrated. Fourth street has their hipsters, and not too far away from downtown, one can find businessmen and the homeless. In fact, the ports behind Long Beach are an essential part of the United States economy. Ships from China, Japan, and many other countries ride on the waters of Long Beach exchanging goods with the US In a way, I am proud and a bit spoiled to say that my backyard contains the one of the

nation’s key economic trade spots. Not all is perfect and rosy in the melting pot though. What I absolutely hate about Long Beach is the water. For a city known for its diversity, key economic ports, and Snoop Dogg, it does not live up to the name, the “beach.” The waters are reminiscent to that of gasoline and sewer water with a hue of gunmetal-grey. I personally feel that I can easily murder a species of fish to extinction by placing them into these really care about, but the water quality should not be overlooked. beautiful traits, even with its flaw of having a putrid beach. What I can say to resolve that is enjoy the fruits that Long Beach has to offer, which are the streets and the blend of people that compose it. In terms of having fun in the sun near the ocean, look and the ever so popular Huntington Beach.

Opinions

Let Them Celebrate! Stop diminishing the efforts of POC and women to celebrate who they are By Jonathan Gutierrez

My little Grinch heart has been growing as of late. There have been glorious occasions thus far in 2015 that honor those who don’t receive the recognition they deserve. Sunday, March 8 marked International Women’s Day, honoring women of all kinds. Additionally, social media users elected to create a worldwide online

I’m so fed up with people who whine about there not being an “International Men’s Day,” and argue that having one day dedicated to women is sexist. Here’s the thing: Every damn day is International Men’s Day! Don’t even get me started on how International Women’s Day was conveniently held on a day where a lot of places observe daylight saving’s time. The one day dedicated to women wasn’t even technically a full day! I mean if that isn’t even a huge metaphor for the unequal pay gap between men and women, I don’t know what is. I can’t even fathom the counter movement that some people tried starting in opposition to #BlackOut. Many angry, white social media users bashed #BlackOut and then ended their posts with #whiteout. I’ve got to applaud

them in their hashtag choice. Naming your movement after a solvent meant to erase a message you don’t want other people to see? Could you be anymore obvious (say that in a Chandler Bing voice—it’s fun) I haven’t even mentioned the appropriation implied in using a similar title to #BlackOut. White people don’t need to appropriate people of color any longer. Iggy Azealia has that covered already. What pains me the most about these retaliations is the deep-seated hatred that has blinded people to see the meaning behind these special days. International Women’s Day and #BlackOut were created because equal representation does not exist—at least, not yet. These days aren’t meant to separate; they are meant to unite. Most people don’t understand that minority groups are endlessly exposed to advertisements, TV shows, music, and various other media that aren’t meant for them. In fact, minorities are constantly oppressed and demeaned throughout the media. I have a challenge for everyone now. The next time you see a post celebrating a woman you should: like it, retweet it, reblog it, and hashtag it with a #YASQUEEN. If you see a post celebrating a person of color, please do not ignore it; instead, share it with your friend or group. Be a part of the solution to inequality. Please do not perpetuate it any longer.

disposing of them, hiding them under seats or sneaking them into the garbage, so that the terrorists would not know who was American and who was not. After 17 hours of negotiations, the

who still reside in India. The story itself is so heart-wrenching, and the bittersweetness of it always gives me chills, so I felt this woman’s courage needed some recognition. Neerja, I congratulate and acknowledge you.

month (#BlackOut) where a day is dedicated to celebrating people of color. The optimism I feel for the future grew tenfold; however, where there is progress, there are people trying to dash

Taking Our Hats Off to a Hero Remembering Neerja Bhanot for International Women’s Day

By Foster Lackie

On September 5, 1986, Palestinian terrorists hijacked Pan American Flight 73. On the ground in Karachi, Pakistan, the passengers and crew had arrived from Mumbai, India, and were preparing to ultimately head for JFK in the United States. At around

results, cut the power on the plane. In weapons and taking control of the aircraft. trapped inside. There’s a good chance you’ve never really heard of this event, and a greater chance you’ve never heard the name Neerja Bhanot. Neerja was a stewardess for Pan American Airlines. She was born in Chandigarh, India, and was 22 when the terrorist attack occurred. On the plane, Neerja was the most senior of the stewardesses. The terrorists ordered an Indian American man to the front. Upon examining his US passport, a gun was placed to his head, and he was murdered as a sign to everyone on the plane. The terrorists then ordered the crew to go around the entire aircraft, collecting the passports of the passengers, and handing them in to the terrorists. Suspecting that the target of this attack would be Americans, Neerja went about collecting the passports and secretly

emergency exit, opened the hatch and began coordinating an escape path. Although she was the closest to the exit, she chose to was successfully responsible for the safety in the plane, Neerja was shot while using herself as a human shield to protect three little children. Her incredible act of courage fortunately earned recognition. In 1987, she was posthumously awarded the Ashok Chakra award, a decoration given for acts of courage responsible for her death were captured. Unfortunately, some escaped their sentence in prison. receive the Ashok Chakra and also the youngest. She survived by her two brothers

Community

Meeting a Literary Hero Reading and Q&A with author Helena Maria Viramontes Words and Photos by Jacky Linares Somewhere, in the myriad of English classes I have taken, I learned the meaning

Turn It Up for a Cause Raising funds for St. Jude Children’s Hospital through good music

By John Broadway

of the word “canon.” Essentially, the canon is what is considered to be “excellence” among literature, to the point where there is a conversation hovering around it in the form of essays, reviews, and English class discussions. Those who are lucky enough to make it into the canon are regarded, to me personally, as untouchable, distant gods who weave elements of the human condition, presenting our sadness, joys, injustices, and flaws, to us through their writing. I got the pleasure to meet one of those gods last Thursday on campus. Helena Maria Viramontes has written books on subject matters I did not think anyone would care about. She writes about the Mexican-American experience, and she spoke of this in her talk. I am paraphrasing because I was to enthralled to write extensive notes down, but she spoke of how we often think of MexicanAmericans as foreigners. When in fact, her family had been in the same plot of ground

On Thursday, March 19, the campus fraternity Tau Kappa Epsilon (TKE) will be hosting an event called ApolloFest at their house on 2109 San Anseline St. in Long Beach. ApolloFest is a concert, in which Long Beach State alumni and students will be showcasing their talents in an attempt to raise money for patients at St. Jude Children’s Hospital. A taco stand will be there to keep attendants from getting to hungry during this four-hour long event. The concert starts at 6pm and will continue until 10pm. During that time, students will

Beginning at 6pm CSULB alumnus Gabriel Cataldi aka “Beastchild” will be performing an hour long rap segment. Gabriel has been musically inclined all his life. He came to CSULB on a music scholarship and has been rapping for seven years. He is really excited for ApolloFest. “I’ve been preparing for this and I’m gonna murder it,” he said.

Students line up for a chance to meet and get an autograph from author Helena Maria Viramontes in East Los Angeles for generations. During the Q&A someone asked her for advice on writing. She spoke of how she “can’t afford to write a bullshit sentence” because we are considered less than people, and we need to relate our experiences the best we can. She told the crowd to have patience, to place our “asses to the chair,” and understand that we can’t get better if we don’t practice. One can look up “How to be a better writer” on Google, yet to have someone with a background that is similar to yours is much more effective because it inspires and cements a purpose in your heart. And that is what Viramontes has become for others like me, who are of a MexicanAmerican heritage.

Currently, Viramontes has three novels out, Under the Feet of Jesus, Their Dogs came with Them, and The Moths and Other Stories. I’ve personally read Their Dogs Came with Them, and would definitely recommend it for others. At the end of the reading an announcement was made that there would be a Helena Maria Viramontes annual lecture series, in which other writers of the same caliber as Viramontes would be invited to speak at CSULB. When I heard this, all I could think was, “More people to keep us looking forward, to push us into being who we want to become.” I thanked Virmamontes for writing about my people, because if we don’t write about ourselves, who will?

“I’m really curious to see how people are going to react to these new beats and lyrics.” Performing after him at 7pm will be Joseph Minero aka DJ Salvation featuring Cole Emery aka Coleword. Both DJs are

play a concert at the TKE but he bailed,” said Emery. “I decided to go through with the concert anyway to give local CSULB music artists a chance to showcase their talents. I thought it could be a good way to raise money for St. Jude.” The gentleman of TKE have already raised over 4,000 dollars for St. Jude this year through their event “Push-Ups 4 St. Jude.” If the turnout for the ApolloFest concert is good, then the children of St. Jude will have another generous donation coming their way.

in Tau Kappa Epsilon. Joseph Minero is the new member educator, and Cole Emery is the chapter president. They will both be spinning EDM trap beats mixed in with some hip-hop. Next at 8pm, CSULB alumnus Mitch Davis’ band Lose Control will be performing. They are a band of four people. They have been playing together for about two years and, they perform hard rock. “I can’t wait to come back and perform for the CSULB students,” said Davis. “I want them to see my talent and be proud knowing that we both went to the same school. I really thank Cole for giving me this opportunity.” Cole Emery was the one to spearhead this event. “My friend originally asked if he could

Athletics

The Fall of the Fighting Forty-Niners Men’s basketball eliminated from the Big West Tournament On Thursday, Mar. 12, students piled into the three buses in front of the Walter Pyramid and headed to the Honda Center. Long Beach Basketball, the fourth-seeded team of the 2015 Big West Tournament, was setto play against the University of Hawaii Pre-game spirits were exceptionally high, especially as fans still had memories from the last run-in between the 49ers and the Rainbow Warriors, where Long Beach lost by 21 points. “We’re going to win this time,” said Raynesha Jones, a CSULB sophomore. “It’s going to be a tough game, but we can win.” A more potent catalyst of school spirit, however, was the desire to see Long Beach be the Big West champions. “Last year, we got eliminated in the second round,” said junior Kamio Jones. “We want to win it all

this year.” This excitement manifested itself in the cheers that erupted spontaneously during the bus ride, as fans donned their LBSU shirts, applied face paint, and pumped themselves up for the game to come. Once at the Honda center, this attitude was all the more facilitated by the college sport ambiance: college bands, cheerleaders, loud fans, expensive food, and beer. Before the game, 49er fans made predictions and analysis, figuring out all the ways Long Beach could win. Kenneth Le, a student in the MBA program, outlined a few key points to me. “Honestly, the team has been riding Mike Caffey,” he said. “Although lately, they’ve been compensating with better team ball during Caffey’s cold streaks. Hawaii has a lot of spirit in them, and we’ve gotta keep up

By Joel Martinez

with that to see a victory. Also, our defense needs to be better, and whether we play defense will determine the outcome.” It was game time at 2:30pm, and both teams faced each other for the opening tip. Hawaii won that jump, tipping the ball back, but Long Beach’s Tyler Lamb ran in and stole the ball mid-pass. However, when he tried carrying the momentum through for a lay-up, he was quickly overwhelmed by Hawaii’s defense. The team promptly responded by scoring the first basket of the game. This set the trend for the rest of the game, as Long Beach fought a deficit for the majority of the game, finally took a lead in the second half with 11:52 left, then lost that lead as they fell to the Bows with a final score of 79-72. The aggression of the start carried through the rest of the game,

but LB’s lacking defensive ability undercut their fantastic free-throw accuracy. “It’s tough to go out this quick,” said coach Dan Monson in a post-game statement. “They hit us early and we didn’t have much answer for them.” The buses were much quieter on the road back, and passengers were significantly more engrossed in their smartphones and movies, perhaps to dilute the atmosphere of disappointment as well as to foster hope for next year. Hope is indeed in the air for the upcoming season, where the 49ers and their fans can once again aspire for the Big West championship. Despite the unfortunate outcome of this postseason, it ultimately marks the beginning of the next year-long journey that awaits CSULB Men’s Basketball.

COOKING

BLUNDERS WRITING CONTEST

Have you ever made an embarrassing cooking blunder during your cooking career? Why not share your misfortunes with us and earn a prize for it?

FIRST PLACE

SECOND PLACE $5 Starbucks gift card

DEADLINE March 20th, 2015 To submit or request more information, contact food@lbunion.com

Lifestyle

Fantasy Is the New Reality

By Ryan Morgan

How one student used card games to adapt to college For a long time, I had no interest in the

prior to this last year was when I was a much

Magic

meant and I went downstairs to check it

once you fully understand the complexity of the game, you are going to have the best time

game served as an access point which allowed me to get the chance to connect with others on

in the hallway between the Union Weekly watching at the time, and it was immensely popular back then in the vast expanse of the

the people who have played and are willing to knew my name and where people genuinely

on to it but my tiny eight-year-old brain could Magic the Gathering. monsters did not hop out of the cards and tried unfocused imagination…this would become

It showed me worlds, stories, concepts, and ideas that never in my life would I have come

was about to listen to my brain and go trudge Magic: the Gathering Youtuber

we are always willing to teach new people who are willing to learn how to play and are open to new things how to experience these Yu-Gi-Oh! or Vanguard? the Union Weekly Magic or board games or Pokémon? Head on over to the

from my previous schools going here, but this was before I had entered this whole professors, doctors, and lawyers who play I can only describe what followed as some to fully understand what you are doing, but

This Is Your Sign

By Nahil Zabaneh

The importance of taking initative as a young woman Nearly 21 years have passed, and I regretfully admit that much of my life remains

younger, I thought things would be handed these “signs” never approached, I would miss out on opportunities in fear of seeming my future triumphs without giving much

nothing quite like a pre-quarter life crisis There are probably countless reasons why perhaps my cowardice, or my insistence on being unequivocally apologetic in my daily

With that being said, why do I consistently fail to express my genuine feelings when I know the only way for me to get what I want is to actively seek it? I guess the answer lies in a certain stigma that lies within society

or not, you should be at liberty to say how you feel and to do what you want without

this self-deprecating psychoanalysis, maybe

Simply put, fate is merely a social

risk of being called “desperate,” “bossy,” and “a diva,” I began to constrain myself to be the type of woman who is deemed as “acceptable,” essentially a woman remaining

chance; life is a series of decisions assembled in life is meant to be pursued, not stumbled

search for meaningless, arbitrary, and unreliable “signs” or “signals” that would ultimately provoke me to continue on with

ask that cutie out, audition for that musical,

FEATURE

Respecting Culture Young Muslim Americans perspectives on rising above negative stereotypes By Alfred Pallarca

Islam is one of the fastest growing religions in the United States. More than 1.2 billion people in the world belong to the faith, and a staggering six million are citizens of the US. With this astounding number, it seems that the majority of Americans know very little about the faith and Muslims in general. Besides negative stereotypes depicted and portrayed through biased news outlets such as Fox News or CNN, plenty of Americans are misinformed about the Islamic faith and/or possess a preconceived idea of a Muslim person. Furthermore, it does not help that numerous media outlets associate Muslim Americans and the Islamic faith with terror and

violence because of the current predicament transpiring in the Middle East. “News outlets are considering you as some type of foreign thing that is dangerous and very violent,” said Heba Ali, a sophomore Kinesiology student at Cal State Long Beach. “The media has presented this us versus them mentality. When that mentality is presented by the media, people will look at you as the ‘them’ and they are ‘us.’” Certainly with these negative stereotypes perpetuated by mainstream media, living as a Muslim American in the US presents multiple challenges. Considering Heba is a hijaby Muslim America—meaning she wears the Islamic headscarf

known as the hijab—, Heba faces or leaves an airport. “The minute I walk through the airport, I usually get stares,” she said. “I mean, usually it is friendly, nothing serious or negative.” Surely, her hijab causes several people to be curious. However, according to Heba, though most people stare at her with a smile, she is no stranger to the stern glare of the misinformed. To make things worse, every time she enters the TSA check line she is always “randomly” checked for inspection. “They say it is random,” she said, “but every time I go to the airport, I am ‘randomly’ selected, every single time. I have never not been searched.”

FEATURE

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I try to show them what Islam is through my actions and my character.â&#x20AC;?

negative stories about Muslim people or

Heba explained that being in a university student life, worrying about midterms and enters an airport she is reminded that she is still a person or a symbol of a faith that

He explained that in 2011, he witnessed an anti-Muslim protest in front of an

explained that being a hijaby Muslim or even a Muslim in general, she feels that it

one of the most hurtful things was that reminds me that people see me as a threat,

Although a Muslim person might not even be wearing a hijab and is not dressed

me, see me as a threat and are very ignorant

She was in seventh grade and was living

and bombarded with questions a nonsurely dissappointing; however, both Heba and Shaheryar admitted that they said

Shaheryar

Javed,

it on every morning or when she would

third-year said that the idea of her being judged for

Shaheryar further explained that the purpose of the hijab is not to oppress

FEATURE

as a tool to empower women. It is modesty. We are not trying to sexualize women. Let a woman be judged by her character and her actions and not by the way she looks.” Shaheryar stated that the concept of a hijab does not only apply to women, but it carries over to men as well. He said that in the Quran, men are instructed to lower their gaze towards women. “If he sees a woman walking by and he feels a physical attraction, he should lower his gaze,” he said. “He should be modest. He should speak to her eloquently, not derogatorily.” Although seen with some negative stereotypes by many American people, the hijab in the Muslim community is a sign of empowerment and a way for women to feel a deeper connection to their faith. However, wearing it or not wearing it does not make a Muslim woman better or worse. “It doesn’t make you more or less of a Muslim by not wearing the scarf,” said Heba. She explained that you could observe two Muslim women with one wearing a scarf and one without. It would be impossible to identify which one of the women is a better Muslim. Shaheryar said that several women in his family chose not to wear the hijab, but it does not mean they are any less committed to the faith. “There are struggles for both women who are wearing a scarf and not,” said Heba. “There is a struggle inside. You don’t get to see because it is an inner struggle.” Heba explained that perhaps some women refrain from wearing the hijab in the US because the headscarf is not seen as the norm. Many women struggle between whether to feel closer to their faith or feel some sort of isolation from the public. Despite all the struggles that some of the Muslim community face, both Heba and Shaheryar view their experiences as positive events that can be learned from and applied in their lives. “The whole idea of being a Muslim is to struggle,” said Heba. “The more you struggle, the more good deeds that you have. How you overcome those struggles is what matters.” Heba admitted that mainstream media could be ignorant plenty of times. Furthermore, she thinks our government has still not been

Nonetheless, Heba feels that there are still to combat such negativity that she might plenty of media outlets that tell the truth. receive from some people. She certainly uses her knowledge about her faith to representatives who are truly serving their ensure people who ask her get the proper constituents to the best of their ability,” she information. “We have the power of our said. “There are people, American citizens, voices,” she said. Amidst some negative who have acceptance and understanding in treatments and experiences, Heba and their hearts.” love and support not just from people at CSULB but from people outside the “I am a Muslim woman campus as well. “We also experience more love from people rather than hate,” with both Arab and said Heba. “ More often than not, there is American blood running understanding on campus and outside. I at a stoplight and this guy just rolled through my veins…Yes, I was down his window and made a point to say, can be all three, they are ‘Hey have a nice day.’’ Heba explained that incident certainly shows how people not mutually exclusive. this would go out of their way to show their In fact, I think they humanity regardless if she was wearing a complement each other scarf or not.

perfectly.”

Shaheryar shared his experience witnessing a girl wearing a niqab, a cloth that covers the face as a part of sartorial hijba, being insulted by religious protesters on campus. “She actually spoke back to him,” he said. “She started debating him, and some of her friends jumped in. It is just really cool to see that.” He said that despite her being covered, she continued to defend her faith and herself, which surely does not represent the oppression that many people perceive. Shaheryar said

Although many Americans feel one way or another towards Muslim Americans, Shaheryar feels he is very much American just like any other citizen of the country. “For me, being an American is fairly simple,” he said. “It’s my identity. I was born and raised in the US. I grew up valuing the many rights we have as citizens that are promised in the US Constitution, such as the right to practice religion freely and community people have in the university everyone is equal before the law.” level considering other people who did not know the girl also came up to her defense. As for Heba, she has certainly struggled Both Heba and Shaheryar urge people who she is. When she visits Jordan, she is outside of the Muslim faith to research considered a foreigner and “American,” and ask questions. “Most Muslims you will here in the US as well, she is considered by meet are more than happy to explain why plenty to be a foreigner and not belonging they are doing something,” said Heba. “We to this country. However, she said that is best to get information about Islam or else does. “I am a Muslim woman with Muslim people straight from the source both Arab and American blood running rather than a misguided reporting from through my veins,” she said. “Yes, I can be certain media outlets. all three, they are not mutually exclusive. In fact, I think they complement each If you would like to know more other perfectly.” For Heba, the epitome information about the Muslim Student of what being an American is just this: to Association on campus, you can attend coexist with people from various cultures, meetings Thursdays at 5pm in USU 305. traditions, beliefs, and languages.

its underrepresented citizens in a humane Furthermore, Heba explained that still people who have hate in their hearts. being an American means having a voice

Music

Music Fest Fever By Marisol Samayoa

Crossed Music Festival Waterfront Park, San Diego, CA Crossed Music Festival is the newest festival to come to SoCal this year. Festival goers will enjoy craft beer, mixology classes, and ocean waves in between performances on its three stages. The lineup has no shortage of performances by forward-thinking

artists such as Empire of the Sun, Chromeo, Odesza, Flight Facilities, Simian Mobile March 14-15. Weekend passes are 145 dollars, and single day tickets are 75 dollars.

South by South West (SxSW), Austin, TX South by South West (SxSW) is a megainteractive media, art, and music. It brings together underground artists and big name headliners. Watch out for this year’s Future Islands, and core Arcade Fire member

Will Butler. Follow SxSW’s artists bands on Twitter to keep up with updates. The festival is notorious for hosting free shows by its headliners. Venues range from outdoor stages to rooftops along Austin’s famous Sixth Street. Arrive early! SxSW begins on March 7 and lasts until March 16.

Lightning in a Bottle San Antonio Recreation Area, Bradley, CA into a whole new world where everyone comes for the music and immersive amenities sanctuary, an eco-friendly tearoom, and a meditation class. At the heart of this festival is a mission to make life better through music

and the opportunity to slow down, take a deep breath , and enjoy all the moment has

The festival runs from May 21 to the 25. Weekend passes start at 260 dollars.

Echo Park Rising, Echo Park, CA Echo Park Rising (EPR) is a free, three-day music and arts festival hosted by the Echo Park neighborhood. EPR promotes local businesses, creativity, and has a plethora of independent artists taking center stage at various cafes, stages, and outdoor areas

along Sunset Boulevard. It’s like a mini-

include up-and-coming artists such as Crystal Skull. EPR is from August 14 to the 16.

Eagle Rock Music Festival, Eagle Rock, CA Similar to EPR, this community event is independent artists. It’s free but a 10 dollar for Arts is suggested. The festival has grown in size and has booked notable acts such

Jupiter, and White Magic performed on Colorado Boulevard. The lineup is yet to be announced but the day event is on the day of October 3.

Music

Make Music Pasadena, Pasadena, CA Make Music Pasadena is a community-based festival with performances by fun, quirky, local, and independent bands and artists on

lineup has yet to be announced for 2015, but indie and rock acts such as Surfer Blood and Yuna headlined last year’s event. Admission is free to the daylong event is on July 5.

Town Pasadena’s Colorado Boulevard. The

Governors Ball, Randall’s Island Park, New York City, NY New York City is a diverse, melting pot of with the eclectic lineup for this year’s Governors Ball featuring Drake, Björk, The Black Keys, Deadmau5, Flume, Florence + the Machine, and Weird Al Yankovic, to name a few.

When festival goers want to chill out, they can enjoy lawn games, a silent disco, art installations, and local food with a view of the NYC skyline. Not a bad way to celebrate music. Weekend passes start 260 dollars. Governors Ball starts on June 5 until the 7.

Newport Folk Festival, Newport, Rhode Island The annual Newport Folk Festival features a relaxed experience with blues, country, bluegrass, and contemporary folk rock music at its core. The festival started in the

and the Magnetic Zeros, The Decemberists, Fleet Foxes, and Sharon Jones. Lineup highlights include Leon Bridges, Sturgill Simpson, and First Aid Kit. The festival runs from July 24-26. Tickets start at 93 dollars.

notable performances by Edward Sharpe

Outside Lands, Golden Gate Park, San Francisco, CA San Francisco’s annual Outside Lands brings an array of artists from various genres of music from hip-hop to indie rock on its enormous 1,017-acre space in Golden Gate Park. Its focus is on music well as artisanal food, drink, and art. This year’s lineup

Sasquatch! Music Festival, George, WA Only at Sasquatch! can attendees listen to the Tame Impala’s intoxicating psychedelic tunes with the sun setting behind the Cascade Mountains and Columbia River. Attendees can also roam barefoot from stage to stage, have a picnic, and face paint with a scenic backdrop.

This year’s lineup includes Kendrick Lamar, Modest Mouse, Tame Impala, St. Vincent, Flume, Of Monsters and Men, and many more. Sasquatch! begins Memorial Day weekend May 22-25. Weekend passes start at 350 dollars.

hasn’t been announced, but last year’s event featured Kanye West, The Flaming Lips, Arctic Monkeys, and Disclosure. The festival is slated for August 7-9 with weekend passes averaging 275 dollars.

Entertainment

Marvel Universe Strikes Out Agent Carter fails to woo audiences By Andrew Linde

SPOILER WARNING: In this article, I will talk about details that happened during the ABC mini-series Agent Carter.

During the break on Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. second season, ABC aired a miniseries titled Agent Carter. This eight-episode series explored the history of the character and Captain America’s love interest Peggy Carter, played by Hayley Atwell, after the events of Captain America: The First Avenger. Carter’s backstory was touched upon Agent Carter and released on Blu-ray for Iron Man 3. Marvel Studios has been releasing movie and television universe since the Bluray release of Thor. agent of the S.S.R., a predecessor to S.H.I.E.L.D., but she is not given assignments because it is the 1940s, and she is a woman. While the men are out

especially looking forward to Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., but it’s now on its second season and a must-watch for me. They’ve grown these unknown characters into very complex people. On the contrary, I feel like Peggy Carter and Howard Stark are virtually unknown to me now. Agent Carter found a way to introduce the origins of the Black Widow program, which trained young girls in Russia to be assassins but does nothing interesting with was introduced, named Leviathan, and that reached no conclusion. A new villain with hypnosis powers was created, but his fate was only to share a prison cell with Arnim Zola. Perhaps the one good part of Agent Carter was Edwin Jarvis, Howard Stark’s butler played by James D’Arcy. In the Iron Man films, J.A.R.V.I.S. is Tony Stark’s computer program. It follows that Stark named the computer program after his father’s butler. D’Arcy plays a reserved man who finds a certain calm in solving his employers problems. For the most part this means removing one-night stands from Stark’s manor, but when Agent Peggy Carter requires his assistance in spying, he’s also game. I might be getting on Marvel’s case too soon though. A second season is rumored for Agent Carter and Hayley Atwell is credited in Avengers: Age of Ultron. Her story is probably far from over, but the end of the mini-series left a bad taste in my mouth.

“ ... the end of the mini-series left a bad taste in my mouth.”

call about a mysterious object. By the end of the 15-minute short, she has retrieved the object, beaten the bad guys, and was asked by Howard Stark(Iron Man’s dad) to join him in the creation of a new secret service. When Marvel announced that they would be giving the character Peggy Carter an entire mini series detailing her time at the S.S.R., I

kick-ass women in the superhero genre of TV

wasn’t considered canon anymore. By the end of the series I was ultimately disappointed. For comparison, I wasn’t

Editor’s Note: To hear more of Andrew’s thoughts on movies and TV shows, listen to his podcast Nerd’s Eye View on iTunes or at www. nevpodcast.com.

Entertainment

And the Ring Goes To... First-time Bachelor viewer sees the good and the bad to ABC’s hit show By Lauren Hunter It should be made known from the beginning that I have neither watched a season of The Bachelor nor do I particularly care about the show. It is asinine to think that 20 girls love this man, and that a man surrounded by 20 beautiful women could truly love one of them! Basically, it’s just a calculation of his personal percentage of how many he can score with. However, I did watch the girl’s tell-all episode for season 19 with my friend. This is the episode before the finale and is by far the best thing I have seen on television in awhile because these bitches are crazy! It’s obvious that they only want their 15 minutes of fame, but some of these girls are really working hard for their 15 minutes. Chris Harrison, the host, calls up the first girl, Britt. She’s cute and seems sweet but kind of emotional. The girls give her hell for saying one thing and changing her mind. According to my friend, she was one of the girls who could have made it all the way. But she would not stop tearing up. Girl, get it together. And Miss “Kim Kardashian look-alike,” Ashley I. just keeps pointing out that Britt changed her mind. I didn’t know it was a sin to do that. The next girl is by far the weirdest. Kelsey Poe is a sociopath. She is the girl whose husband died a year before she joined the show. I like to think she had a part in his death because she shows NO EMOTION when speaking about him. She

“...these bitches are crazy!”

just stares blankly or attempts to tear up with no moisture in her eyes. And most of the girls think she made him up as a card to play in winning over bachelor, Chris Soules. She’s conniving and makes up all sorts of information. She “fainted” so she could get Soules’ empathy and not get sent home. All the girls hated her. She’s a sociopath who would do anything to win a rose and ultimately, the ring. girl” Ashley Salter. I basically love her. She’s crazy but in a good way. She thought a pomegranate was an onion and was shocked it grew on a tree earlier in the season. She even gave Chris Harrison an onion when she had her little interview on the couch. There were clips of her running around all crazy and shooting zombies with no fear or emotion on her face during laser tag episode. She made me laugh the whole time she was in the hot seat. Chris Harrison asked her to join this summer’s season of Bachelor in Paradise because she’s pure entertainment. I could’ve watched her all day. Like I said before, I have never been a Bachelor fan, but if you could promise me girls like Ashley Salter for the next season, I would probably watch it. I’d only watch it for the laugh factor because I still think it is a dumb premise. However, grabbing a bottle of wine with my girlfriends and laughing at these dumb, dumb girls sounds like a great way to spend a Monday night.

Arts

Color Forecast

By Kamille Garcia

Differing thoughts about the Color of the Year

Our Step Got Style

A model in a loose Marsala-colored dress shows the impact of Pantoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s authority at selecting the Color of the Year (top); an up-to-date fashion blogger proudly displays her Marsala skirt (left); another fashion-conscious individual crops a top Marsala, two hot 2015 trends, culminate in the runway (bottom right)

Literature

“...he becomes quite observant, and he begins to realize that his reality is not what it seems.”

What Was Once A Mystery An autistic protagonist who will make you feel so many emotions By Amanda Dominguez-Chio Mark Haddon’s novel, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, begins with a mystery. After Christopher Boone discovers his neighbor’s dog with a garden fork sticking out of it, Christopher decides to investigate the dog’s death. Although the novel starts The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time quickly evolves into something more. I came across this book because of one of the book clubs I’m involved in. Before reading the book, I learned some details about the novel, enough to know without spoiling the story. One of the interesting aspects of the story is having an autistic protagonist. A close family friend of

mine has autism, so you can imagine my fascination and intrigue to read the book. The character of Christopher delighted me, and I praise Haddon’s ability to capture Christopher’s voice. Haddon’s decision to focus the narrative on an autistic boy allows to his observant nature. He has superb math skills, gives great attention to details, and admires Sherlock Holmes. Because Christopher admires Sherlock Holmes—I mean, who doesn’t?—he becomes quite observant, and he begins to realize that his reality is not what it seems. This is where the real mystery and Christopher’s journey begins.

What I loved about this book was how Haddon captured Christopher’s voice and how he was able to teach his reader about autism. Haddon even provides diagrams, drawings, and at one point, a solution to a math problem to show how an autistic mind operates. Haddon breathed life into Christopher Boone and made him real. Yet by teaching me about autism, in no way is this story simply about a boy living with a disability. Instead, the novel shows that despite his disability, Christopher is still able to accomplish anything he sets his mind to anyone.

Who’s Asking the Questions? A novel that will keep you thinking in ways you don't even know By Karrie Comfort Now if you’re anything like me, you’ve got a reading list longer than a roll of toilet paper, but really can you ever have too many books? The answer, of course, is no. That being said, the No.1 Ladies Detective Agency, written by Scottish author Alexander McCall Smith, was one of the most simultaneously whimsical and thoughtprovoking reads I have had in a long time. The book opens with an almost routine survey of what Mma Precious Ramotswe, the Africa: a typewriter, bush tea, and so on. Even as she lists these items the reader is pulled still use typewriters, a world where a sharptongued secretary has a weakness for nice shoes, and the natural African brush rolls on in the background of the narrative. The story follows Precious and her few mysteries that include a search for a missing husband, a con man, and a little boy

who has disappeared, or was possibly taken by witch doctors. Throughout the story, Smith will ask poignant questions and make statements that truly bring out the nature of the book: “Everything you wanted to know about a person was written in the face, she believed... And the eyes of course, they were very important. The eyes allowed you to see right into a person and to penetrate their very essence, which is why people with something to hide wear sunglasses indoors. They were the ones you had to watch very carefully.” Or McCall will ask rhetorical questions that perhaps are answered by the characters, but as a reader, she makes you answer them in your head too: “...of memories, of smells, of little things that happened to us and which come back, unexpectedly to remind us of who we are. And who am I? I am Precious Ramotswe, citizen of Botswana, daughter of Obed...” Even as Precious lists her lineage, all the

things that make up who she is leaves the readers to considers who they are. Rather than projecting her own values or feelings on you, the author leaves an open question for readers to consider. kind of story that is made up of several main characters that are largely separate, but whose lives intersect at various points in

to neat and clean, but it really emphasizes the beauty in everything having meaning. Although everything in the mystery is wrapped up to a satisfactory ending, that doesn’t mean the book does not leave you with questions. I would highly recommend the No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency, especially if you enjoy a mystery set in the African Bush and has sprinklings of love and wisdom throughout.

So... What Happens Next? By Elizabeth Nguyen He did not want to agree to it, but he could not deny how much it intrigued him. Being asked to… no, not even his thoughts wanted to allow him to consider it. “You’re serious?” Darrel raised the question, but more of a statement than anything else. She looked serious enough. “100 percent, Darrel.” Blaire had a

That was what gave the teen such a well, let’s just say Blaire didn’t seem like the adventurous type. To go into detail about her, she seemed lacking. It was funny how Blaire acted from a day-to-day basis. People simply saw her as the genius, the brainiac, dull but incredibly smart. She was not at all outgoing, always tucked against a tree with a book on her lap. She lacked friends or even casualty. To her, others were mere acquaintances. She lacked liveliness. But Darrel never really considered that a bother. He stuck around her for some reason, besides the fact that they were partners for English class. Maybe it was because of the close interactions he had with her during the partnership. Blaire wasn’t dull at all. barriers. They were in a sense friends, but they knew nothing of each other. Now she had reached out, extending to him something that could cause a lot of change. Maybe, too much change. Darrel wondered what caused her reaction from him; he couldn’t deny that. “Alright, I’ll give it a shot,” he agreed, deciding it was worth the risk. Perhaps he was crazy to agree so easily. Darrel didn’t even hesitate to what Blaire had suggested. “Perfect.” She said, smirk still in place. The topic started to drop, just like how most of their conversations typically fell. Normally, Darrel wouldn’t mind. Blaire wasn’t one for small talk.However, curiosity had gotten the best of him. “Why?”

Want to know what happens next? Why don't you make it happen? The Union Weekly challenges you to continue this story! Please submit your continuations or ask for more details at literature@ lbunion.com.

Travel

Travels With Henry and Some Brownie By Lavender Brownie

marijuana trip was horrible. I tripped out the way you don’t want to trip out, convinced I was going to die. It all began when a few friends and I made plans to bar hop in downtown Los Angeles for New Year’s Eve. When night fell and the moon rose, they swung by my house, and we made our In the car, my friend Henry asked if I would fancy some weed brownie. I had never had any form of weed, but a brownie sounded harmless enough. “Okay!” I exclaimed and popped the homemade-looking chunk into my mouth. It was a good chunk and tasted like a regular chocolate brownie, but with an herbal after taste leaving a tingling, biting sensation on the right tip of my tongue for an hour. Five

Henry told me that it usually took around half an hour. We continued the descent. When we got to our hotel, we put on the garbs we would usher in the New Year and had a few drinks. Amid jumping across the two queen-sized beds and throwing pillows at each other, my friends asked if I felt anything yet. I answered no, and we wondered what was going on. Henry mentioned that one whole chunk of brownie is usually enough. He said that sometimes he would only eat a small chunk. I began to wonder if I was actually feeling something but just didn’t recognize at all, so there were no prior experiences to compare it to. It was well over an hour and, have enough, so I had myself another chunk and went on our way to the bars downtown. While jumping around in a three-inch diameter radius with a bunch of other sweaty bodies, I began to feel extremely thirsty.

Illustration by John Calhoun

At the time, I didn’t know that this was a common result of weed and attributed it to dancing for several hours. We came back to our hotel at the end of the night, and somehow I got to four chunks to feel something, everyone else in the hotel room has gone to bed except for Henry, who is on the other side of the bed trying to sleep. I tried to sleep too but could only lie there scanning the dark room over and over. I asked Henry if he was awake, which he was, and he asked how I felt. In a slow, constantly misguided way, I told him that I was feeling a bit weird. He laughed and I laughed too. Then, for no real reason, I started feeling scared of the dark, which never happens. I usually love being in the dark, but I had to get out of there as soon as possible. I turned to Henry and asked if he would come with me to the bathroom, which he did. In there, we turned on the light, and I felt relieved to be out of the darkness. Henry told me I didn’t look so good, and I told him I didn’t feel good, so we decided to put our jackets on and go get a snack from the vending machines. In the elevator, he told me that when he’s high, his skin starts to feel like it’s crawling and he becomes hypersensitive. I started clutching myself, realizing how much I felt like that myself. With every step I made closer to the vending machines, I became more and more surprised. At the vending machines, I handed Henry my money, so he could get me a snack because I really felt like I wouldn’t have been for the pretzels to appear in front me, when I started feeling like actually pulling my hair out. Unable to stay still, I got up and walked around and around grabbing my hair while telling Henry I didn’t feel okay. Then I saw an expression on his face that made me realize

how ridiculous I probably looked. While tripping out, I often forgot about myself, like the way you lose self-consciousness. I felt like I kept looking for something to grab a hold of, something tangible that would make me feel like I had control again, but I couldn’t. At this point I felt like my mind was being taken out of my body every two seconds, leaving me with feelings of utter powerlessness. This was the scariest part, and why I think I kept moving because giving my body tasks to do helped me think that I still had control over it. I even felt I had no control over my own thoughts. For a split second, I would imagine something because I felt that being in that state, I might actually do it. I sometimes carry a small knife and some pepper spray with me, as I did this night. I found these items in my jacket pocket and walked down a random hotel hallway. myself away from them. I saw Henry go back to pick them up, and I told him to keep them away from me. He then handed me the bag of pretzels and when I opened the bag, I felt my body shake at the sound the bag was making. It sounded like a 14-wheel truck crashing several feet away from me. As we were walking back to our hotel room, I got the same feeling of disbelief that I had walked all the way from the vending machines back to the room. Henry sat in the shivering violently. Later, Henry would tell me that I wasn’t shaking much even though I felt convinced I was shaking. He tried to talk to me and give me water and food, but I couldn’t focus on his words. I thought I was for sure going to choke on the food and couldn’t keep the water from spilling on myself. During the middle of Henry speaking, I started saying to myself, “I am in control. Everything seems

control.” This I chanted like a mantra over and over again because it made me feel a feeble but tangible sense of control again. I asked him if we could just sit silently, and for a long time we just reveled in the stillness, something that also helped me feel like I wasn’t being taken out of my body and safe. After some time, Henry suggested I try to system, which I did. Weirdly enough, staring straight into my mostly clear vomit brought me great solace. Things that didn’t move or change made me feel better. At one point I looked at my messy hair in the mirror and began seeing two strands of thick hair morphing into two horns growing out of my head. This got real demonic real quick, so I tore my eyes away from the mirror, which took turned the faucet on, I was again surprised that I was able to do it without something terrible happening. Slowly, I began to realize that I was able to do normal things, yet nothing felt normal to me. Strangely, I thought about the boy who I gave a fake number to earlier that evening at the bar. I wondered if he had already texted who he thought was me, and I marveled at how much had changed in the course of a few hours. Would he recognize me, the woman in the dark club who he talked to and tried to kiss? Would he be sitting in the hotel bathtub next to me at I turned myself inside out over the toilet bowl like Henry was? Would he? No, probably not. Do I regret taking this trip? Not for a minute. I feel better equipped for life and future situations and would try it again, but seen yourself in one mindset, do you really know yourself at all?

Food

Feeling the Falafel

By Renee Schmiedeberg

The enlightening taste of New York street food I used to be a grubby lubber, whose idea of patties being served at Open Sesame on grabs band name), I left everything—my family, a blender, appropriate footwear, my homework—and went to New York City, where the most unlikely of falafels altered the course of my life. The falafel is a popular Middle Eastern food, which looks like a meatball that has been given love pats. Despite their meaty appearance, they are usually comprised of chickpeas, garlic, onions, parsley, and various other spices all mashed together and fried in a vat of oil. This particular falafel story begins at two in the morning with three of us from the Union Weekly searching for a particular cement-colored rats, kicked dirty snow, sang at singing strangers across the street, and stepped in cold gum before we finally found it—and were told they had closed two hours earlier than Yelp tells you. We left their dumb pizza and stupid rustic decor and stopped at a corner to devise a new plan. A few feet from us, a well-lit food truck was parked on the side of the road, bright, metallic and plastered with green menu stickers. I don’t think any of us were really in the mood for Middle Eastern food, but I thought that this was probably my best bet for the night. Tentatively,

we approached it—the way you might approach a stray cat or a wolf (or cookies a classmate baked). The food truck was named Halal’s Famous Food and was manned by a heavily accented man. He told us the chicken was really good, and after I stared for awhile at the picture of the falafel on the no-word-menu, a foil bowl of rice with chicken emerged in front of me. It was a generous amount for a sample, almost like a side dish. The truck was loud, and I couldn’t hear much of what he said besides “it’s good” and “white sauce.” In fact, the whole time I couldn’t understand him much and didn’t know what to respond with, so I just nodded and smiled a lot, which worked pretty well. The long-grain rice and the white sauce were really good, and he seemed like a lovely fellow, so I ordered the falafel with rice. Surprisingly, he was rolling the falafel and frying them up right in there. The box contained seven falafels resting on a lettuce that was doused in more white sauce. All the falafel of my past seemed too

natural way without falling apart. I could tell it had just emerged from the frying oil by the savory juices that remained in the falafel’s cracks. When I bit into it, I found its shell soft and its green insides steaming. The taste was perfect, being just salty enough to compliment the rice or eat on its own. I knew

at once that this was the best falafel of my life. The man charged us a very reasonable price and made sure we had everything we wanted. He told us he works there everyday from nine I hope I never forget Falafel Man. When we got back to our hotel from walking through

Oh My Queso!

This dish goes splendidly with a chilled glass of NYC tap water, which is the tastiest tap in the nation. Don’t overlook those sidewalk to the streets for high society falafel.

By Beatriz Villa

A delicious and satisfying grilled cheese Ah, cheese, my most beloved food group. For those of you who don’t know me, I have three favorites foods: cheese, pho, and pancakes—preferably not at the same time and not always in that order. Today, I am all about cheese. Swiss, Bleu, sharp Cheddar, Brie, Gouda, you name it. If it’s cheese, it’s in my mouth. Now, why am I telling you about cheese? Other than it’s deliciousness, cheese is nutritious. When it comes to healthy diets, most Americans fall short of their calcium intake and cheese is an excellent source of calcium. For those who have to run to the bathroom after a scoop of butter pecan, Cheddar and Swiss cheese have little to no

lactose and are, for the most part, safe for people who are lactose intolerant. Putting a small spotlight on cheese, I am going to share with you one of my favorite grilled cheese recipes. You will need the following ingredients: • 1/2 a stick of butter • 2 slices of Sourdough bread • 1/2 a purple onion, sliced • 1 thinly sliced tomato • Cheddar, Jack, and Swiss cheese (Normally I buy blocks of cheese and cut my own slices). 1. First you will need a medium-sized

bread side-by-side. Heat the pan and add 1/4 of the butter. 2. Once the butter is melted, sauté the onions for two minutes, or until they are the pan. 3. Melt the rest of the butter and begin grilling the sourdough bread. How much you want your bread grilled is up to you. Personally, I like mine to be lightly grilled, so I only leave it for about a minute on one side. 4. After one side (or both slices) of and add the cheese. The way you arrange the cheese is also up to you. I like to put Swiss

on one slice, Cheddar of the other, then I break up the Jack cheese and place it on both sides evenly—to create little surprises of yumminess every other bite. 5. Add the sautéed onions and tomato and close the sandwich. 6. Put the heat on low and let your grilled cheese sizzle until the cheese is 7. Remove your sandwich from the pan and cut it into two triangles. Voila! Your grilled cheese is ready to be enjoyed. Pair it with a cup of cabernet sauvignon—this wine will bring out the

Volume 76 Issue 9

Monday, March 16, 2015

LBUNION.COM

DISCLAIMER: YO, I GOT BETTER SHIT TO DO THAN WRITE THIS GODDAMN DICLAIMER MAN, I AIN’T GOT THE TIME FOR THIS, I GOTTA SET UP FOR MY TURN UP IN 12 MINUTES, FUCK FUCK FUCK! J-TOWN OUT! This page is satire/parody and does not represent ASI nor the CSULB campus. Submit articlez to grunion@lbunion.com.

Are YOU a Fuckboy? 1. If a drunk girl needed help getting home, would you:

5. Do you know why Men’s Rights are unnecessary?

A. Draw a dick on her face with a sharpie.

A. MEN’S RIGHTS ARE SO IMPORTANT TO TALK ABOUT, WTF B. I don’t give a fuck? C. Yes, because girls are taking over the world with their Lush bath bombs, and the Ghostbusters remake. D. It’s not needed because we live in a patriarchal society.

C. Look for her friends and help all of them get home safely. D. Keep buying drinks on her tab. Bottoms up, beeches! 2. Is there REALLY a need for an International Women’s Day?

the D? A. Yes, because women have a right to celebrate themselves as society constantly tells them that they are unworthy of such attention B. Yes, but there also needs to be an International Men’s Day. C. No, because they’re all just bitchy Feminazis. D. Haha, I don’t give a fuck!

A. Lol, obviously! B. Nah, she’s too busy doing more important things. C. Yeah, why would she text me in the D. The thirst is real, especially if it’s “heyyy” with three y’s. 7. Are you problematic? If so, are you working on not being problematic?

3. Are you a feminist? A. What’s that, lol? B. Nah bruh, I ain’t no whiny bitch C. Absolutley! D. Whatever doesn’t make me a fuckboy.

A. Probably, and yes. I’m trying to be a better person. B. I got 99 problems and I ain’t one. C. This is America and freedom of speech is a thing! D. I can do whatever the fuck I want and say what I want because I’m a fuckboy.

4. If a girl is wearing a short skirt, and her butt is in close proximity to your hands, what do you do?

8. Do you catcall women? A. I don’t know. I like boys! B. Keep my hands to myself, and gaze straight ahead. C. All about that bass! D. Stare at it until it makes her uncomfortable.

A. Yes, because I’m a shithead. B. I just want them to love me, which is why I do it. C. No. I don’t want to make them uncomfortable or degrade them in any way. D. I’m just appreciating their beauty, fuck man.

KEY: CACBDBAC - IF NOT INDEED A FUCKBOY

INSIDE

HILLARY CLINTON LEAVES POLITICAL ARENA TO FOCUS ON NEW ALBUM

SCIENTISTS STUNNED AS FRANK SINATRA SMOKES HIMSELF BACK TO LIFE

LOCAL BEAR SPOTTED FISHING FOR FISH AT THE LOCAL BEACH

MARINE CORPS MIRACULOUSLY FINDS WAY TO FURTHER LOWER IQ STANDARDS