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THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
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COVER: ST. PATTY’S WEEKEND 11 LOCAL BEAT
WWW.THEVALLEYBEAT.COM
GUIDE 5 NEWS OF THE WEIRD Weird, but true stories from here and around the globe
8 CONCERT BEAT 10 TOP SPINS & MOVIE REVIEW
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
THIS WEEK
VOL.1 ISSUEISSUE 6 • OCTOBER 27 - NOV 2, 2010 131. MARCH 20 - 26, 2013
Concert listings from many places
Gina Crash from The Bone’s Top 10 Radio Hits. & A movie review
BEAT 11 LOCAL Each week we comment on local or national talent.
12 HOT SHOTS
Maybe we snapped a pic of you, check it out!
13 CD REVIEW
14 CLUB & PUBS
We are working on it but need your help please send info
17 EAGLES ARE LEAVING 21 ZODIAC Tyler Drake lets us know where they are going
Your astrology for the week
24 JOKES & COMICS
12 HOT SHOTS 31 MODEL BEAT 31
A few chuckles to get you through the week
MODEL BEAT Last, but certainly not least your model of the week
Welcome to The Valley Beat Newspaper! Lehigh Valley’s Hottest Alternative Newspaper. We are currently distributing in locations, throughout Easton, Nazareth, Bethlehem, Catasauqua, Quakertown, Allentown, Reading Wescosville, also locations in the Pocono’s, Kutztown, Doylestown, Northampton Contact Information: Fax: 484-229-0506 thevalleybeat@gmail.com • valerie@thevalleybeat.com clubinfo@thevalleybeat.com • distribution@thevalleybeat.com
Retraction: Andrew McNeil from Melodicrock.com wrote the W.E.T. : Rise Up - CD Review, Not JEFF CLUTTERBUCK! Please accept our apology in this matter.
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THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
by Chuck Shepherd
LEAD STORY: DOPING ON ICE
--Leaders of the ice-fishing community, aiming for official Olympics rec-
LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS
frigid endeavor rarely employing strength but mostly requiring guile and
--Lee Wildman, 35, and Adrian Stanton, 32, pleaded guilty in connection with a burglary at Durham (England) University’s Oriental Museum, in which they heisted artwork worth the equivalent of about $2.7 million and hid it in a field in April 2012. However, they have been unable to help authorities locate the bounty (even with the reward of sentence-reduction) -- because they have forgotten exactly where they stashed it. Eventually, hikers unconnected with the case discovered it and notified police. Said Judge Christopher Prince, “This is not an offense that can be described as sophisticated.”
strategy, as competitors who discover advantageous spots in the lake must
FETISHES ON PARADE
surreptitiously upload the hauls lest competitors rush over to drill their
--Paul Jamrozik, 63, was arrested in Upper Darby, Pa., in January and charged as the man who lured a 12-year-old boy into his home and, under the guise of pretend-podiatry, spritzed his feet with athlete’s-foot spray and tickled them before performing an exam of his ears and nose with medical equipment. When the kid asked to leave, according to the police report, Jamrozik withheld his shoes until he promised to bring his friends by the next day to be examined.
ognition as a sport, have begun the process by asking the World Anti-Doping Agency to randomly test its “athletes” for performance-enhancing drugs, according to a February New York Times report. However, said the chairman of the U.S. Freshwater Fishing Association, “We do not test for beer,” because, he added, “Everyone would fail.” Ice-fishing is a lonely,
own holes. Urine tests have also been run in recent years on competitors in darts, miniature golf, chess and tug-of-war, and in 2011, one chess player, two minigolfers and one tugger tested positive.
CULTURAL DIVERSITY
--A frequent sight on Soweto, South Africa, streets recently is crowds of 12-to-15-year-old boys known as “izikhotane” (“boasters”) who hang out in their designer jeans, “shimmering silk shirts, bright pink and blue shoes, and white-straw, narrow-brimmed fedoras,” according to a February BBC News dispatch. Flashing wads of cash begged from beleaguered parents, hundreds may amass, playing loud music and sometimes even trashing their fancy clothes as if to feign an indifference to wealth. Since many izikhotanes’ families are working-class survivors of apartheid, they are mostly ashamed of their kids’ behavior. “This isn’t what we struggled for,” lamented one parent. But, protested a peer-pressured boaster, “(Y)ou must dress like this, even if you live in a shack.” --India’s annual “Rural Olympics” might be the cultural equivalent of several Southern U.S. “Redneck Olympics” but taken somewhat more seriously, in that this year, corporate sponsorships (Nokia and Suzuki) helped fund the equivalent of about $66,000 in prize money for such events as competitive pulling using only one’s ears or teeth. “We do this for money, trophies, fame and respect,” one ear-puller told The Wall Street Journal in February. This year, in the four-day event in Punjab state, the 50,000 spectators could watch a teeth-lifter pull a 110-pound sack upward for about eight seconds and an ear-puller ease a car about 15 feet. --Weird Japan: (1) A generous local businessman recently graced the city of Okuizumo with funding for replicas of two Renaissance statues (“Venus de Milo” and Michelangelo’s “David”) for a public park. Agence France-Presse reported in February that many residents, receiving little advance warning, expressed shock at the unveiling of “David” and demanded that he at least be given underpants. (2) Fax machines, almost obsolete in the U.S., are still central to many tech-savvy Japanese families and companies (who bought 1.7 million units last year alone), reported The New York Times in February.
QUESTIONABLE JUDGMENTS
--In February, an off-duty Tampa police officer and an off-duty sheriff’s detective from nearby Hernando County were awarded the sheriff’s office’s highest honor, the Medal of Valor, for exemplary bravery in an October incident in which a 42-year-old naked woman was shot to death by the officers. The woman was holding a gun and had made threats, and a 5-year-old boy was inside a truck that she wanted to steal. However, even though a neighbor had simply wrestled the woman down earlier, the officers still thought their only move was to shoot to kill. Said the woman’s brother, “They shot a mentally disturbed, naked woman. Is that valor?” --In 2011, Julian Pellegrino pleaded guilty to DUI involving serious bodily injury to Mark Costa in Chicopee, Mass., and was sentenced to serve 18 months in jail, but that did not deter Pellegrino from filing a lawsuit in December, demanding $1.1 million for Costa’s somehow “caus(ing)” his car to collide with Pellegrino’s. Pellegrino (with a broken neck) was actually more seriously injured than Costa, who sued back, asking nearly $200,000. (In 2010, while Pellegrino was awaiting disposition of the case with Costa, he pleaded guilty to another DUI.)
LATEST RELIGIOUS MESSAGE
--In January, Lhokseumawe City, Indonesia, drafted new ordinances, including one that prohibits women from riding motorcycles with their legs straddling male drivers, since that would tend to “provoke” them. A proponent said the ban “honor(ed)” women “because they are delicate creatures.” Immediately, some authorities denounced the legislation, pointing out that riding “side saddle” is much more dangerous in cases of sudden swerves and collisions.
READERS CHOICE
--(1) Two brothers, celebrating a winning lottery ticket in Wichita, Kan., in February, bought a stash of marijuana, but then, attempting to light a bong using butane lighter fluid, one accidentally blew up the family home. That brother was hospitalized with second-degree burns, and the other was arrested for marijuana possession. (2) Megan Thode, 27, went to trial in February in Easton, Pa., suing Lehigh University, accusing a professor of illegally discriminating against her with a C-plus grade in a class in 2009 in the school’s graduate counseling program, in which a B was the minimum required to continue. Thode demanded $1.3 million for future damage to her career (but not a tuition refund -- as she had matriculated for free because her father is a Lehigh professor). Four days after the trial began, the judge ruled against her.
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(Are you ready for News of the Weird Pro Edition? Every Monday at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com and www.WeirdUniverse.net. Other handy addresses: WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, http://www.NewsoftheWeird.com, and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.) COPYRIGHT 2013 CHUCK SHEPHERD
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
NEWS OF THE WEIRD
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
WING NIGHT MONDAY : Starters Pub Wings 50¢ Wings • ½ Price Boneless
s Clubhouse WEDNESDAY : Starter s Wings ½ Price Wings & Boneles 5pm-10pm
se Monday : Starters Clubhou $2.00 Dozen Clams
TUESDAY : Starters Pub $2.00 Dozen Clams 5pm-11pm
½ Price Burgers too!
Wednesdays, 7:30pm at Starters Pub
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Fri Mar 22 – Ricky Smith & The Crush Sat Mar 23 – Droppin’ Trou
Kitchen open 11am til Midnight
Open 7 days a week 11am - 2am
(corner of S. 5th St & Emaus Ave)
TRIVIA NIGHT
400 Illicks Mill Rd • Bethlehem (610) 625-0060 www.starters-clubhouse.com
Entertainment This Week:
1996 S. Fifth St Allentown
5pm-10pm
STARTERS CLUBHOUSE GRILLE
610-841-3610
Sunday – Open Mic Night
CLAM NIGHT
&
www.strangebrewtavern.co
Featuring a wide array of domestic, import, micro & craft Brews
5pm-11pm
$7 Sandwiches
24 Taps
Cheesesteaks
STARTERS PUB
3731 Route 378 • Bethlehem (610) 997-5454 www.starterspub.com
strangebrew610
WAT CH A L THE GAM L HER ES E
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
PAGE 7
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
CONCERT BEAT
CHAMELEON CLUB, Lancaster, PA TICKETS 717-393-7713
Slackwater News, Mar 22 Senses Fail, Apr 3 Kings Foil, Apr 6 Reverend Horton Heat, Apr 13
TICKETS 212-307-7171
CROCODILE ROCK, Allentown, PA TICKETS 610-434-4600
Tommy Ramone & Glen Matlock, Mar 20 Reverend Horton Heat, Apr 10 Ganstagrass, Apr 26 Millionaires, Apr 28
MAUCH CHUNK OPERA HOUSE, Jim Thorpe, PA TICKETS 570-325-0249
Mountain Spring Wellness Festival, Mar 22 R.Carlos Nakia & Peter Kater, Mar 22 The B-Street Band, Mar 29
MOHEGAN SUN ARENA AT CASEY PLAZA, Wilkes Barre, PA TICKETS 570-920-7600
Gabriel Iglesias, Apr 12 Ringling Bros & Barnum Bailey, Apr 24-28
MOUNT AIRY CASINO RESORT, Mount Pocono TICKETS 877-682-4791
Tommy Davidson, Mar 23 War, Apr 20 Best of NY Burlesque, Apr 27
WELLS FARGO CENTER Philadelphia, PA TICKETS 215-336-3600
Maroon 5, Apr 4 Fleetwood Mac, Apr 6
MUSIKFEST CAFE Bethlehem, PA TICKETS 610-332-1300
Spank (Musical), Mar 19-23 Rick Braun, Mar 30 The Fixx, Apr 4
SANDS EVENT CENTER Bethlehem, PA
TICKETS 800-745-3000
Boz Scaggs, May 10 Brian Regan, May 12 Motley Crue, May 20 -21 Chicago, May 22 Weird Al Yankovic, Jun 4 Billy Idol, Jun 9 Rock of Ages, Jun 10 Los Lobos, July 10 Sarah Brightman, Sep 22
Pink, Mar 22 Armin Van Buuren “A State of Trance”, Mar 30 Fleetwood Mac, Apr 8 Alicia Keys, Apr 11
YES, Apr 7 Anjelah Johnson, Apr 13 Wayne Newton, Apr 20 Goo Goo Dolls, Apr 21 Steve Earl, Apr 26 The Machine Pink Floyd Trib, Apr 27 Alabama, May 2 Alice in Chains, May 7
TICKETS 877-686-5366
HERSHEY PARK ARENA, Hershey Park, PA
SUSQUEHANNA BANK CENTER Camden, NJ Toby Keith & Kip Moore, Jun 22 Jimmy Buffet, Jun 25 Dave Matthews Band, Jun 28-29 Vans Warped Tour, Jul 12
IRVING PLAZA, New York, NY
TICKETS 717-534-3911
One Direction, Jul 5, 2013 • Dave Matthews Band, Jul 13
TROCADERO, Philadelphia, PA TICKETS (215) 922-5483
Booka Shade, Mar 20 Anberlin, Vital Tour, Mar 20 Anberlin, Mar 22 The Hives, Mar 24 The Fighting Jamesons, Mar 23 Senses Fail, Apr 4 R5 - Loud Tour, Apr 11 Toots & the Maytails, Apr 10 Metal Alliance Tour w/ Anthrax, Apr 20-21 Volbeat, Apr 11 SOVEREIGN CENTER, Reading, PA Sammy Adams & T. Mills, Apr 23 TICKETS 610-898-7200 Sparks, Apr 24 Chris Young, Apr 20|Alice Cooper/ Marilyn Manson, Jun 18 The Polish Ambassador, Apr 26 Johnny Mar, Apr 30 The Breeders 20th Anniversary, May 5 THE ELECTRIC FACTORY, Peter Murphy, May 9 Philadelphia, PA Tod Rundgren, May 11 TICKETS (215) 627-1332 Juanez, Jun 21 The Hooters, Mar 27 The Mission UK, Sep 4 The Black Crowes, Apr 12 Mindless Self Indulgence, Apr 14 Seven Dust, Apr 18 Suicidal Tendencies, Apr 19 Bassnectar, May 1-2
TICKETS 212-777-6800
MAINGATE NIGHT CLUB 448 N 17th St
(610) 776-7711 As I Lay Dying, Mar 19 • R5 Loud Tour, Apr 7 Ophira Eisenberg, Apr 11 Carly Rae Jepsen, Aug 2 Frampton’s Guitar Circus, Aug 5 Darius Rucker, Aug 9 Ke$ha, Aug 10
KESWICK THEATRE, Glenside, PA TICKETS 215-572-7650
Amy Schumer, Mar 22 The Fab Faux, Mar 23 Jesus Christ Superstar, Mar 28-30 Living Color, Apr 4
SHERMAN THEATER, Stroudsburg, PA
PENNS PEAK, Jim Thorpe, PA
Circa Survive & Minus The Bear, Mar 20 Rebelution, May 4 Awolnation, Mar 22 Volbeat, May 6 3 Days Grace, Apr 19 Asking Alexandra, May 8 Steel Panther, Apr 26 Bullet for my Valentine, May 19
Jefferson Starship, Mar 22 Gary Allan, Mar 27 Satisfaction, Apr 5 Skid Row, May 31
TICKETS 570-420-280 Page 8
MADISON SQUARE GARDEN New York, NY
TICKETS 570-325-0371
Jefferson Starship takes the stage at Penns Peak this Friday March 22nd
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
SLP CONCERTS PRESENTS YOUR PENNSYLVANIA CONCERT CALENDAR
sunday may 19 / 6pm brews75 maIn brothers west st. Luzurne, PA
TUESDAY JUNE 11 7PM SHERMAN THEATER 524 MAIN ST. STROUDSBURG
7PM
PAGE 9
tiX at Ticketmaster.com, Charge-By-Phone 800.745.3000, At ALL Ticketmaster outletS Including all walmart stores, And At THE venue’s BOX OFFICE.
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013 Page 10
Movie Review
GINA CRASH’S TOP 10 BROUGHT TO YOU BY
1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10
By Chris Bumbray
BONES
YOUNG GUNS BONES
HOLLOW
ALICE IN CHAINS THE DEVIL PUT DINOSAURS HERE
FREAK LIKE ME
HALESTORM
THE STRANGE CASE OF…
PLOT: Jordan Turner (Halle Berry) is a veteran 911 dispatch operator, reeling from an incident where she was unable to save a girl from the clutches of a serial killer. Six months later, Jordan gets a call from Casey (Abigail Breslin) whose been abducted by the same killer. With time running out, and no trace on her cell phone- Jordan frantically tries to help Casey save herself from becoming another victim. REVIEW: THE CALL (or as it was originally titled, THE HIVE- the nickname of Jordan’s dispatch center) is 2/3rds of a slam bang thriller. For the first hour of THE CALL’s ninety minutes, I was thoroughly on the edge of my seat- before being let down by an all-too predictable and corny ending.
WHERE DID THE ANGELS GO? PAPA ROACH
THE CONNECTION
THE HIGH ROAD 3 DAYS GRACE
TRANSIT OF VENUS
ALIVE
ADELITA’S WAY
HOME SCHOOL VALEDICTORIAN
TEMPEST
DEFTONES
KOI NO YOKAN
HEAVEN NOR HELL VOLBEAT
BEYOND HELL / ABOVE HEAVEN
STAND UP
ALL THAT REMAINS A WAR YOU CANNOT WIN
BY CROOKED STEPS SOUNDGARDEN
KING ANIMAL
Indeed, the first hour- which cross-cuts between Jordan at The Hive, and Casey, who’s trapped in the trunk of the killer’s car, is pretty superb. The editing, minus a few annoying jump-cuts and gimmicks, is mostly dead-on, and Anderson ratchets up the intensity to the point that there were people in the audience that I saw this with that were actually screaming in terror. John Debney’s killer score, and some interesting musical choices (including inspired use of 80’s one-hit-wonder Taco’s cover of “Puttin’ on the Ritz”) go a long way giving THE CALL a pulse-pounding beat, which is way better than most other studio horror flicks I’ve seen lately. It also helps that the two leads, Halle Berry, and Abigail Breslin, are excellent. Berry’s suffered through a few stinkers lately, but she brings her A-game to THE CALL, and makes a believable, compassionate dispatcher- who’d literally trade her own life for Breslin’s if able. She’s terrific, and I’d say this is her best role in a while. Abigail Breslin is also extremely likable as the young girl in trouble- and most importantly for a film like this, you really don’t want anything bad to happen to her. It’s too bad then that THE CALL goes terribly wrong in the last half-hour, which feels really manufactured, and more like something out of one of the SAW sequels than this previously classy horror-thriller. I don’t want to give anything away, but if you’ve seen the preview you’ve likely got an idea of what my big issue is. I don’t know why Anderson and company decided to ditch the 911 dispatch gimmick after it had been going so well, but where they end up going with the film really strains believability- especially in the film’s final “twist”. But- like I wrote earlier, 2/3rds of a really solid horror film is better than none, and on that level, I still have to give THE CALL a recommendation. Sure- it goes awry, but there’s a good, solid hour of the movie that’s just great.
Photo credit: Jeff Heller Photography L-R: Jim Ruffi, JJ Bellew, Sarah Ayers, Dan Evans, Lou Franco.
L-R: Dana Gaynor, Suavek Zaniesienko, James Supra, Al Wanamaker
So you’ve heard that the Philadelphia Eagles are not returning to the south side of Bethlehem for training camp. They’ve flown the coop and you may be saying to yourself, “Godfrey Daniels!” – or something to that effect – unless you happen to be a Dallas fan. Fret not. While the Birds may be saying, “All in all, we’d rather be in Philadelphia”, there is one rockin’ “Little Chickadee” who doesn’t mind staying put in the Lehigh Valley and more specifically, the South Side of Bethlehem. Her name is Sarah Ayers. Sarah Ayers Band played to a sellout audience at Godfrey Daniels in South Bethlehem on Saturday, March 2 and Sarah offered me the opportunity to guest emcee the event, filling in for A.J. Fritz. This show carried special significance for me in that it was my first time at the venerable venue on East 4th Street in South Bethlehem. That pronouncement, before introducing the band, brought a few jeers of disbelief from some in the audience so to those who felt slighted at my conspicuous absence over the past 37 years, I offer my humblest apologies. I have no excuses as to why I never set foot in the establishment but I can assure them that I will not wait nearly as long next time. I soaked up the atmosphere at Godfrey’s along with a few goblets of Pinot as the talented Sarah Ayers graced the stage, joined by electric guitar maestros, Lou Franco and JJ Bellew, with the rhythm section of Dan Evans on bass and Jim Ruffi on drums.
s
Godfrey Daniels!
The band played a solid two hour set delving into 2004’s Cold Hard Dirty Truth and 2007’s 3AM Epiphany releases. They played favorites like “Breaking Up Somebody’s Home”, “Hook Me Up” and “Red Dress.” Ayers got personal with “Cassidy”, “Alaska” and “Little Miss Information.” She made sure to heap praise on the band members backing her up and they were willing to reciprocate. Guitarist Lou Franco says, “Playing with Sarah Ayers Band is a highlight of my career. All the players are stellar and the electricity between JJ and me is unique and powerful. It is one scorching unit.” Sarah Ayers, who has experienced the highs and the lows of being an in-demand professional singer in a successful band, seemed very at ease with her band mates, smiling as she sang with a power that can only come from confidence and comfort; confidence in knowing where she’s been and where she’s going and comfort from being surrounded by fans, friends and family. Her parents were in attendance at Godfrey’s. She paused to acknowledge them and they gushed with pride. She acknowledged a fan’s request for “Son of a Preacher Man” and a friend’s birthday, too, as the crowd joined her in singing Happy Birthday. My first Godfrey Daniels show was a memorable one. I will definitely come back again and again. I would like to thank Sarah and the band, Mike Space from WDIY and everyone at Godfrey Daniels who made me feel welcome during my first visit. I also want to wish a speedy recovery to our dear friend, A.J. Fritz of 91.3 WLVR-FM at Lehigh University. Mitch has been on the air rockin’ the Lehigh Valley for eighteen years and has been with The Hawk for the last ten years! Tune in weeknights for The Six O’Clock Class Reunion and great classic hits from the 60s through the 90s and on Saturdays for great giveaways including free concert tickets for great area shows! To have your band reviewed please contact me at: mitch999thehawk@gmail.com
PAGE 11
I can only describe it as pure elation being a part of the capacity crowd at Godfrey Daniels, snugly tucked in with very little room to maneuver. In Godfrey’s, you’re practically on top of the band or vice versa and the intimacy of the place extends to the stage where the players have to sometimes crawl over and around each other and untangle cables in order to effectively jam out, as was the case with Sarah and her boys. It was fun watching the five of them navigate and negotiate the tiny platform stage as if they were engaged in a game of musical Twister.
SARAH AYERS BAND Rock
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
by: Mitch
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013 Page 12
HOTSHOTS!
If you are a bar or club that would like to featured in Hot Shots send us an email: thevalleybeat@gmail.com
THIS PAST ST. PATTY’S WEEKEND WAS PURE INSANITY OVER AT TALLY HO IN BETHLEHEM
BON JOVI: WHAT ABOUT NOW
Bon Jovi is back with their 12th studio album after nearly four years with “What About Now.” The first song and single release “Because We Can” gets this album underway in typical Bon Jovi fashion: vocals, harmony, and a big drum beat. The song is very radio-friendly and has a good “hook” that is catchy and reminiscent of the successful formula that the band has relied-on over the past 30 years. (Wow, 30 years???!!!) This track isn’t another “You Give Love a Bad Name” or “Livin’ on a Prayer,” but it’s a logical first release for this album and tries to set the tone on this latest musical effort from the Jersey boys.
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
CD REVIEW
By: Mr. Mouse
talented and well-known as Bon Jovi. Some of the other songs on the album were pretty good and some were just ok. Take the song “Amen” for example. This track could have been on a Christian Rock album, and didn’t seem to fit in with the rest of the tracks. It’s not a bad song and in fact was the third most popular download on iTunes. It just doesn’t work for this listener. Another song that was somewhat patriotic and supportive of American troops was “Army of One,” taking the U.S. Army’s marketing catchphrase and turning it into a song. The song is not about politics but will likely appeal to those in the armed forces and those that support them.
PAGE 13
The album continues with a love song “I’m With You,” a nice ballad with a good chorus and While most of the tracks on this album are meaningful lyrics. Again, nothing new here, average or very good, don’t expect any songs just a good song that become monster hits or “While most of the tracks on this album toenjoy is easy on the ears the huge commercial are average or very good, don’t expect and not hard to listen successes of the past. The any songs to become monster hits” band can still rock, but they to. The third song and title track is also strong, but then begins just don’t have the mainstream appeal from back the album’s journey into mediocrity. For the in the glam and hair metal days of the 80’s and average listener, the songs come and go quite 90’s. Sure, this album will probably go platinum, unremarkably. In fact, some of the music and but that achievement will likely be due to the lyrics come off as cheesy or just plain album huge worldwide fan base the band has, especially filler. It’s understandable that writing hit in Europe and Asia. Americans just don’t seem to songs is not easy, and even the best and most notice that much anymore, but a few tracks will successful bands in the world can’t keep it certainly get airplay and may even crack the U.S. going for decade after decade, try as they may. Top-20 lists. If you like some of the songs, order There are some hits, but also a lot of misses. the tracks that you like from your preferred This certainly doesn’t take away from the fact music download service, but save your money that Jon Bon Jovi and Ritchie Sambora are and don’t spend it on the rest of the album. Only great musicians-because they are. Rather, it the true die-hard Bon Jovi fans will want to do just shows that today’s music business is quite that. unforgiving for everyone, even for bands as
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
CLUBS AND PUBS ALLENTOWN
Platinum Plus Gentlemen’s Club 1231 Airport Rd South, Allentown, PA 18109 610-433-3311 Tilted Kilt 2835 Lehigh St 610-791-2100 Grumpy’s BBQ Roadhouse 3000 Mauch Chunk Rd, 610-769-4600 3/22 Groovituded 3/23 James Supra Rascals Pub & Afterdark Lounge 6616 Ruppsville Rd 610-366-1130 Tuesday Nights: Karaoke w/DJ Troy 3/22 Right Hand Red / Dear Anna 3/23 Tim Harakal / Rehab X Pitchers Sports Bar & Grill 570 Union Boulevard 610-841-4001 Friday: Live Entertainment
Page 14
Stratus Night Club 1193 Airport Road 610-776-2090 Wednesday: Karaoke
BATH Cornerstone Pub 506 Penn St 610-837-6670
BETHLEHEM
Bar With No Name 300 Gateway Drive 610-866-5800 Fridays: DJ Cap Cee Saturdays: DJ Trama
MacGrady’s 117 E. Third St 610-868-8925 Wednesday: Baseball Thurday: DJ@10pm Sat: BOGO Burgers Sunday: Football
Funhouse 5 E. Fourth Street 610-868-5311 3/20 Tavern Tan Band 3/21 Paul Knakk Band 3/22 Trouble City Stars 3/23 Wet 3/24 The Vowels 3/25 Adam Web 3/26 Born Crosseyed
Diamondz 1913 W Broad St Bethlehem, Pa 18018 610 865 1028 Strange Brew Monday: Jukebox Tavern Thursday: Karaoke 1996 S. Fifth St Fri & Sat: Dance club/ 610-841-3610 Monday: Pong night Karaoke Sunday: Open mic Sunday: Karaoke 3/22 Ricky Smith & The Crush Bethlehem Brew 3/23 Droppin’ Trou Works 569 Main St Roosevelt’s 21st 1328 W. Tilghman St 610-882-1300 (610) 770-1444 Vision Bar @ Sands Event Center 77 Sands Boulevard Jetport Lounge 610-297-7410 3400 Airport Rd. 3/22 GoGo Gadjet Allentown, Pa 3/23 DJ Cap Cee 610-266-1000 Wednesdays: 6-12am Tally Ho DJ Jimmy K 205 W. Fourth St Fridays: 610-865-2591 Mike Mitman
Sands Bethlehem Molten Lounge 511 E. 3rd Street 484-777-7777 3/20 Sylvian & Glen Matlock of Sex Pistols DJ MC Tom Taylor 3/21 Johnny Drama 3/22 The Exceptions 3/23 Drop Dead Sexy 3/24 Jimmy & The Parrots 3/26 Gas Station Disco 3/27 Tower Suite Roosevelt’s 21st 25 E. Elizabeth Ave (610) 266-1950
Godfrey Daniels 7 E. Fourth St 610-867-2390 3/20 March Improv 3/23 Musette Project 3/26 March Blues Jam
Wednesdays 5pm - 11pm All You can Eat Wings Roosevelts 21st Allentown, PA
Celebrity Night 3/20 Molten Lounge Sands Casino Bethlehem, PA
CATASAQUA
Blue Monkey Sports Restaurant 1092 Howertown Rd 610-266-1550
COOPERSBURG
Droppin’ Trou 3/23 Strange Brew Allentown, PA
Silhouettes Showbar & Gentlemen’s Club 111 E. Station Ave (Right off 309) 610-282-8010
BARTONSVILLE
The Pocono Pub Rt. 611, Bartonsville 570-421-5743 Monday: Open Mic Tues, Thurs, Sun: Karaoke 3/20 Kyle Baker 3/23 Steelin Time
EASTON
Spanky’s East 1700 Butler St 610-559-5170 Tues: Texas Hold Em’ Drinky’s 3 Centre St Sq 610-252-3800 Wed: Pong Night $100 First Place Porter’s Pub 700 Northampton St. 610-250-6561 3/20 Open Mic 3/21 Dinner w/ side of Jazz 3/22 Mike Frank & Friends 3/23 ReaLion
GoGo Gadjet 3/22 Vision Bar Bethlehem, PA
MORE ON PAGE 21
Main Gate 17 W. Liberty Street 610-776-7711 Friday Night: Noche Latina Saturday: Classique 80’s, 90’s music
The Brewworks Restaurant & Brewery 812-816 W Hamilton St 610-433-7777 Tuesday: Comedy Wednesday: Trivia Thursday: Karaoke Friday: Office Party Saturday: Guided Tours
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
PAGE 15
Page 16
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
BY: Tyler Drake
This summer, for the first time in seventeen years, the Lehigh Valley will not host the Philadelphia Eagles and the elaborate ecosystem of coaches, trainers, interns, sportswriters, agents, chaperones, summer girlfriends, photographers, fans, stalkers, bloggers, predatory salespeople, and assorted hangerson that exist underneath and around the professional football players. Bethlehem’s mayor John Callahan bemoans the change: “It is most certainly going to have a negative impact in the city not having the camp.”
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
EAGLES ARE LEAVING
level of media frenzy surrounding a players at the Eagles training camp. The brooding, petulant, selfish teammate and talented, electric wide receiver came to Bethlehem under strange circumstances. He came from San Francisco, where he’d had a 100-catch, 1,300-yard, 13-touchdown season and caught two touchdowns in a playoff game, after burning his bridges, loudly implying that quarterback Jeff Garcia was a homosexual in the city that would likely be least endeared by this sort of thing. Owens’s first training camp was the most popular Bethlehem would ever see, and it launched the Eagles into a seven-game winning streak to start the season. That year Owens sprained an ankle and fractured a fibula and nobody thought he would play in the Super Bowl, but he used a hyperbaric chamber to rehab — essentially sleeping in a coffin like a vampire — and amassed nine catches in a losing effort.
PAGE 17
Why did the Eagles leave? Message-board participants speculate that new coach Chip Kelly wants secrecy while he installs a new offense, and the open atmosphere of training camp at Lehigh University wouldn’t allow this. Perhaps quarterback Michael Vick, who served his time after a dogfighting conviction, needs to be sheltered from the public: he had to cancel Quarterback Michael Vick showed up to training signings of his recent book because the venues camp five years after Owens with a worse received threats from animal-rights loonies. reputation. Vick came to the Eagles from Or maybe there is some lingering malaise from prison, having served time for conduct the the passing of Garrett commissioner called “not Reid, the son of former“Bethlehem’s mayor John Callahan only illegal, but also cruel coach Andy Reid, at bemoans the change: It is most and reprehensible.” Football last summer’s training certainly going to have a negative fans will forgive seemingly camp. anything — Baltimore hero impact in the city not having the camp.”Ray Lewis interfered with a The official reason, according to a press release murder investigation and Pittsburgh favorite Ben from the team, was this: “Efficient access to all Roethlisberger is at best a total scumbag — and the facilities at the NovaCare Complex - from the despite his savage past Eagle fans were intrigued training room which is equipped with everything by Vick’s dazzling speed at the quarterback from a hydrotherapy pool and access to an position. When he took over for injured starter MRI machine, weight rooms with state of the Donovan McNabb, Vick played well. In the playoffs art equipment, an indoor practice venue, video that year, he threw the longest touchdown pass and computer equipment that utilizes network of his career. infrastructure - has become a necessity for the team.” The Lehigh Valley will miss the excitement that comes with the start of each new season, but Residents of the Lehigh Valley, be they fans or maybe something will come along to fill the void business owners or whatever, will miss the left by the Birds’ departure. The Valley could use Eagles. Seventeen years of training camps can some new and exciting tradition for that span probably be measured in tangible economic of three weeks, this time one that doesn’t give a terms — no doubt bar and hotel owners flock of raging ex-cons and egomaniacs the run and managers do exactly this — but also in of the city — maybe instead of a team of eagles, memorable moments. we could use a college of cardinals. I will tweet this new pope (the guy with the hat in Rome, not Wide receiver and raving madman Terrell Owens the tight end for the Arizona Cardinals), and see of course must hold every record for buzz and if I can make it happen.
Page 18
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
? e n o y n A s a p Ta How to Throw a Terrific Tapas Party - It’s not your parents’ dinner party!
by Camille Capriglione
Gone are the days of formal social gatherings. There is a new trend in casual soirees. Tapas parties are a chic and simple way to have a tasty get-together that is entertaining, fun and fuss-free. Tapas are small, savory dishes that are bigger than an hors’ oeuvre but smaller than an entrée. They include a wide variety of fare that originates from Spanish cuisine. These can be cold (such as olives and cheeses) or warm (baked and fried foods.) A combination of tapas makes a delectable and satisfying dining experience. One legend tells us that tapas originated in Spanish bars when flat pieces of bread were used to cover patrons’ drinks, in order to prevent fruit flies from getting into the libations. Folks got creative by placing olives and meats on the bread. Eventually these ‘little nibbles’ became as important as the drinks themselves. A tapas party is unique in that it encourages mingling of guests and hosts. No one remains seated at a single table, but can move from plate to plate and enjoy conversation with everyone at the party. And it is done while enjoying unique food and drinks. So how do you create a tapas gathering that your guests will love? It doesn’t have to break the bank. Keep décor simple and festive. Buy inexpensive table runners and place mats in vibrant hues to set your plates upon. Fill vases with fresh wildflowers (or any inexpensive bouquet from a local market.) Set colorful candles around the rooms where you’d like your guests to mingle. Play flamenco music, or other Spanish style tracks, to set a cheerful atmosphere. Use mismatched dinnerware in vivid colors or assorted plates, bowls and cups purchased from a thrift shop.
Focus on creating six to ten tapas dishes that are easy to prepare ahead of time. They can be finger food or require utensils. Some ideas are: guacamole, olives or mango salsa atop bruschetta, stuffed mushrooms, shrimp skewers, hummus with warm pitas, artichoke hearts with roasted potatoes, fried vegetables, stuffed mini peppers filled with soft cheese, mozzarella and tomato slices drizzled with olive oil. And for the sweet tooth, chilled ambrosia or strawberries doused with sugar and balsamic vinegar. Finally, choose whom you will invite. Your guest list should be as diverse as your menu. Inviting different types of people will ensure stimulating conversation, interesting exchange of ideas and lots of laughs. Remember, you’re the host, so relax and enjoy the party too!
PAGE 19
Your party can be indoors or outdoors. Have it late in the afternoon or early evening. Set up your room, deck or yard in a way that encourages conversation. Use chairs of all kinds, whatever you have - even ottomans and beanbag chairs. Throw scarves over furniture if it’s drab. For serving the food, use different surfaces; fold up trays, a bookshelf or coffee table. Sangria for your tapas party is a must. Soak fresh fruit slices in red wine and chill beforehand. Make fruit-infused, non-alcoholic punch, if there will be children present. As for the menu, the key is variety! Tapas parties can be themed
to specific tastes such as vegetarian. Or they can be an eclectic mix of culinary delights to tempt the palate.
Page 20
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
TAURUS (4/20 – 5/20) Keep an open mind and open heart -- and keep those eyes open, too. Then, are you ready for a little romantic enlightenment? Watch for that over the next few days, and again, be ready to give new ideas, people and situations more than a fair chance. Be generous! From Thursday evening through most of the weekend, love just isn’t as straightforward (or perhaps one person isn’t as straightforward) as you’d like. On Sunday, though, the understanding you seek is much, much closer. Reach out for it. GEMINI (5/21 – 6/21) Be ready and willing to help -- offering without being asked earns you extra cosmic credit. Use that nimble mind of yours to understand where someone else is coming from. Some serious communication is required at the end of the workweek, whether at work or in a romantic context (or, likely, both). Share your honest, considered assessment and ask that others do the same. This weekend, you’ll like a lecture or a game -- something to get those mental wheels turning -- more than just partying or hanging out. CANCER (6/22 – 7/22) Beware of biting off more than you can chew; Projects have hidden angles, and people may have hidden missions. A little socializing goes a long way; be sure to plan time to get together with a certain someone to bond. Work may present a challenge or two on Thursday and Friday. Your trademark tenacity helps you find good solutions -- and new opportunities to boot. When the weekend comes, some downtime’s definitely in order. Keep your plans open-ended, as something (or someone!) great may come up at the last minute.
LIBRA (9/23 - 10/22) Fair’s fair, but be sure to look out for number one especially in a work context. Asking more questions across the board shows you care -- and makes you look smart. Examine any and all situations (using your trademark diplomacy as needed). Bonus: Responses are very positive now. You’ll want to heed any funny feelings around Thursday and Friday. Look for personal patterns, and avoid having to revisit old lessons. When the weekend comes, it may be lessons in love that are in store for you -- and learning’s never been so fun. SCORPIO (10/23 - 11/21) If you get your heart too set on something, you may not be able to see things as they are. For the next couple of days, you’re a real people-person, and relationships of all kinds -- work, friendly, more-than-friendly! -- stand to benefit from your intense attention. Talking about anything and everything equals more fun and more depth, too. Beware of a stubborn streak around Friday and Saturday. Love takes compromises, flexibility and wiggle room. On Sunday, though, the stars are sending some simply gorgeous energy your way. SAGITTARIUS (11/22 - 12/21) You may not be at your most alert, but rest assured that your mind’s still working away. Show self-confidence and you’ll earn bonus points at work; show your affection in your personal life and you’ll make friendships (and more-than-friendships!) flourish. At the end of the workweek, the more original the idea, the better -- and no one’s more capable of inventing (and reinventing) than you. Let your individuality play a part in all areas of life, and let it carry you through an inspiring, creative weekend. Something amazing may happen ‘by chance’ now. CAPRICORN (12/22 - 1/19) You’ll get by a lot better with a little help from a friend or a co-worker. Don’t be too proud to ask! Show those who think you’re all about material things your deeper, more philosophical side. It may very well be the thought that counts now -- and you’ve got to share it. Thursday, Friday and Saturday are stellar if the cosmos has its say. You’ll have all sorts of positive, passionate energy coming your way to get all sorts of things done -- in work, at home, in love! But be frugal on Saturday and Sunday. You’ll soon see why that’s necessary. AQUARIUS (1/20 - 2/18) Put your head together with someone else’s, shake well and see what happens. It could be a heart-to-heart or a bunch of sparks flying! The next couple of days could be mystifying, unsettling or just plain tiring. The best plan is to take quality care of yourself and carve out quality time with those you care for, too. And just you wait -- from Thursday evening through most of the weekend, everything about you is given a certain sparkle by the stars. If love’s on your mind, now’s the time! On Sunday, what you want can become crystal clear.
VIRGO (8/23 - 9/22) Manage your expectations accordingly. Around Tuesday and Wednesday, the stars have a special assignment for you, if you’re ready to accept it: Let life get messy. Lose (a little!) control. Take a risk. Be daring. Expanding your heart and mind brings beautiful stuff into your life, including, perhaps, some of the romantic variety around Thursday, Friday or Saturday. Working on a relationship, on yourself or on an issue pays off now. Then, starting Saturday or Sunday, a reorganization of some sort is in order. Have fun with it!
PISCES (2/19 - 3/20) What you do on principle makes all the difference stick to your values and beliefs. Doing the right thing -- and treating those around you right, as you always do -- merits rewards. Keep in mind: This might involve treating your boss, your mom or another authority figure with kid gloves. Then, on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, you’re unusually practical -you’re the one with the great solution at work or the most fun social plan. Of course, you’re ever aware of the interpersonal element as well. Sunday finds you dreamy -- plan to relax and unwind.
HELLERTOWN
Beer Mussels 1214 Main St 610-838-8200 Friday: Leechboy Saturday: Texas Hold’em Sunday: Texas Hold’em
PALMER
Charles Chrin Community Ctr 4100 Green Pond Rd
CENTER VALLEY Melt Level 3 2805 Center Valley Parkway 610-798-9000 Fridays DJ Chubby C Saturday DJ Fog (Dan Glatts)
WESCOSVILLE
Krocks Pub 1160 S. Krocks Rd 610-391-0648 Sat: DJ Linx
NORTHAMPTON
The Gin Mill / Main St Music Hall 1750 Main Street 610-262-5486 Wednesday: Karaoke Thursday: Karaoke Hammerhead Lounge 326 Main Street 610-262-6713 Tuesdays: Karaoke/Billiards Thursday: DJ B-Rad Fridays: DJ Statik 3/23 DJ B-Rad
QUAKERTOWN Big Daddy’s Wagon Wheel Tavern Route 313 & Sternersmill Rd. 215-536-9989 3/30 The Johnny Cash Show McCooles Red Lion Inn 4 South Main Street 215-538-1776
The Eagle Hotel 201 East Broad Street 215-536-3316
READING
Rumorz 220 N. Park Rd 610-374-3200 Brass Lantern 1350 N 12th St 610-372-9311
KUHNSVILLE
Kuhnsville Inn 5745 Memorial Rd 610-395-2387 Wed & Fri: Karaoke
MACUNGIE
The Pub On Main 102 E. Main St 610-966-2275 Thursdays: Comedy Night The Longswamp Tavern 20 Gap Road 610-702-3700 3/23 Kris Kehr & Magnetic North Project 3/30 Free Juke Play
OREFIELD Leather Corner Post 6855 Horeshoe Road 610-395-1782 Tuesday: Trivia w/ DJ Slacker Wednesday: Acoustic Jam Thursday: Open Jam 3/22 the Band “3” 3/23 Dr. Jim
CLINTON, NJ
DOYLESTOWN
Puck 1 Printers Alley 215-348-9000 3/22 Reverend TJ McGlinchey Band w/ Murchant 3/23 Dick Tracey and Don Julio Chambers 19 / The Other Side 19 N. Main Ave 215-348-1940 The Farmhouse Tavern 380 N. Main St 215-345-9373
PENNSBURG
PC Pub Restaurant & Sports Bar 500 Pottstown Ave 215-679-4900 Thur/Fri/Sat: DJ The Perk 501 E. Walnut St. 215-257-8483 Wednesdays: Open Mic Thursdays: Trivia Night Saturday: Karaoke
GOULDSBORO The Grandview Gentlemens Club Rt 435 570-842-2661 Tuesday: College/Miltary Night Amateur Night April 3rd
STROUDSBURG Sarah Street Grill 550 Quaker Alley 570-424-9120 Wednesday: Open Mic 3/22 Boris Garcia 3/23 Mike Papile & Friends 3/24 The Pocono Duo 3/26 Steve McDaniels
Revolution 111 W. Main Street Clinton NJ Inside Holiday Inn
For entertainment listings email us: thevalleybeat@gmail.com
Check out the Steve McDaniels Band Tuesday 3/26 at Sarah Street Grill in Stroudsburg, PA
PAGE 21
LEO (7/23 - 8/22) Finding a little more information or asking more questions gets you far. You’re on fire in more ways than one -- boldly speaking your mind, making sparks fly and looking hot in the romantic department. Don’t wait to make a move or make a date! Consider toning down that proactive approach at the end of the workweek, though, in both your personal life and at work. Say less, and listen carefully. When the weekend comes, a relationship requires flexibility and finesse, plus give and take. You’ll make it look easy.
CLUBS AND PUBS continued
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
ZODIAC
ARIES (3/21 – 4/19) Patience really is a virtue, so allow for extra time -- for others and yourself. A new project or person likely entices you now -- explore! Following through on plans and commitments is key at the end of the workweek, on both an occupational and personal level. Show you’ve got a good attention span and demonstrate how rock-solid you can be. When the weekend comes, someone’s ready and willing to help you out -- or maybe indulge your every whim!
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013 Page 22
the
job band
Rocks The Tilted Kilt in Allentown on St. Patricks day!
photos by: William Wooler Photography
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
PAGE 23
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5.00 am.” The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... “It is 5.00am; wake up.” Social Security A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver’s license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. “I will have to go home and come back later.” The woman says, “Unbutton your shirt.” So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me” and she processed his Social Security application. When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. She says, “You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.” A salesman is driving toward home in Northern Arizona when he sees a Navajo man hitchhiking. Because the trip had been long and quiet, he stops the car and the Navajo man climbs in. During their small talk, the Navajo man glances surreptitiously at a brown bag on the front seat between them. “If you’re wondering what’s in the bag,” offers the salesman, “it’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife.” The Navajo man is silent for awhile, nods several times and says, “Good trade.” After a 2 year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on the American Male’s recreational preferences: 1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: basketball 2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: bowling. 3. The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is: football. 4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: baseball. 5. The sport of choice for middle management is: tennis. 6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: golf. Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become. A young boy and his father were in a store when they walked past a rack of condoms. Being a curious young lad, the boy asked his father, “What are these things daddy?” His dad said, “Condoms son.” The boy asked, “Why
Page 24
do they come in packs of 1,3, and 12?” The dad replied, “The packs with one are for the high school boys, one for Saturday night, the ones with three are for the college boys, one for Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and the ones with twelve in them are for the married men, one for January, one for February, one for March....”
VIEW DIGITAL ISSUE ONLINE AT THE VALLEYBEAT.COM
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
JOKES
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THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
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PAGE 25
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Page 26
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
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PAGE 27
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Page 28
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
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PAGE 29
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THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
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Page 30
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SEE MORE PHOTOS ONLINE WWW.THEVALLEYBEAT.COM
THE VALLEY BEAT MARCH 20, 2013
MODEL BEAT
Age: 21 Hometown: Jackson, NJ What do you do to make $$? Engraver, Print, TV, Film & Promo Model. Are you? Single, dating, engaged, or married? Dating How would our readers get to know you or become your friend? Contact My Agent www.DonatelliModels.Com 610-921-5582 Ask for Randy! Where was your best vacation destination? Disney, Fl What do you do to relax? Cannabis, Read & Write Lyrics & Songs. What sports do you watch the most? Baseball. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage? Vodka & Pineapple. What happens to be your worst vice? Not on Time, Procrastinating. What is your best feature? Smile, eyes, legs, personality. What TV show do you never miss each week? Family Guy. What movie would you recommend to our readers?. Shutter Island. What is at the top of your “Bucket List?” Feed a shark by mouth. What have you done in the last year that you would think is news to our readers. Principle Feature On the Wolf of Wall Street. (Movie 2013 Release.) What do you sleep in? Commando. What is the worst pick-up line ever tried on you? Nice Shoes!! Do ya wanna have sex? What do want guys to know about sex/relationships that you wish they knew (but they don’t)!? 3 Seconds is not satisfying.
PAGE 31
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