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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013
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WWW.THEVALLEYBEAT.COM
GUIDE 5 NEWS OF THE WEIRD Weird, but true stories from here and around the globe
8 CONCERT BEAT 10 TOP SPINS & MOVIE REVIEW
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013
THIS WEEK
VOL.1 ISSUE ISSUE 6 • OCTOBER 27 - NOV 2, 2010 134. APRIL 10 - 16, 2013
Concert listings from many places
Gina Crash from The Bone’s Top 10 Radio Hits. & A movie review
BEAT 11 LOCAL Each week we comment on local or national talent.
12 HOT SHOTS
Maybe we snapped a pic of you, check it out!
14 CLUB & PUBS
We are working on it but need your help please send info
15 Meet INTERVIEW Stroudsburg local Christian Porter who is on The Voice Tv Show
17 MAYORAL CANDIDATES 21 ZODIAC
Tyler Drake looks at how 2 Bethlehem candidates who have equal values
Your astrology for the week
24 JOKES & COMICS
12 HOT SHOTS 31 MODEL BEAT 31
A few chuckles to get you through the week
MODEL BEAT Last, but certainly not least your model of the week
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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013
by Chuck Shepherd
LEAD STORY
LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS
--Wait ... What? A startup company in Austin, Texas, also serving San Francisco, promises to take its customers’ incoming U.S. mail three times a week, photograph it and deliver it back to the customers via mobile phone app, for $4.99 a month. The company, Outbox, provides some value-added services, removing the customer from junk-mail lists and paying bills. Still, Outbox’s unorthodox business model assumes that a growing number of people absolutely hate opening, filing or discarding pieces of paper. Co-founder Will Davis told CNN in February that at least he does not fear competition: “No one is crazy enough to do what we’re doing.”
--Not Ready for Prime Time: (1) Paul Masters, 47, was charged with a roof-entry
THE CONTINUING CRISIS
arrived while Carr was still haggling for a refund.
--Professor Peter Froehlich, who teaches computer science classes at the highly competitive Johns Hopkins University, contractually grades “on a curve,” automatically marking the highest grade an A, with other grades trailing based on their proximity to the class’s best. One clever student tried to organize the entire class for December’s final exam, to persuade everyone to do no work at all -- thus rendering the “highest” grade a zero, meaning an A for everyone. (Of course, if a single student broke ranks, everyone except that student would receive an absolute zero.) Fortunately for the students, according to InsideHigherEd.com, the class held together, and a shocked professor Froehlich nonetheless honored his contract, giving everyone an A (but subsequently closing the loophole). --Thieves broke into the home of Earlie Johnson in Muskegon, Mich., in February and made off with several flat-screen TVs, but what really irked him was that they also stole his entire DVD pornography collection, consisting, he said, of the films of every African-American porn star since the 1970s. (“I’m not no scum bag guy, pervert, or nothing like that,” he told WZZM-TV. “I just thought it was cool to own my own porn collection. It keeps my relationship (with his fiance) fresh and tight.”) As soon as the news of Johnson’s misfortune spread, several adult video companies donated DVDs to help restore the collection. --Sex Is Dangerous: (1) Officers from the Zimbabwe Parks and Wildlife Management Authority reported in March that a lion had attacked a couple having sex in the bush, killing the woman and sending the man dashing down a road wearing nothing but his condom (which reduced his chances of receiving help from motorists). (2) Near Daytona Beach, Fla., in February, Ms. Asia Walker, 30, driving her boyfriend around, could not resist his amorous advances and soon lost control of the car. It left the road and plowed completely through a vacant house. She was briefly hospitalized, but her boyfriend was not hurt.
are common, but almost always nighttime jobs, when no one else is on the premises. Masters, though, dropped in just after lunchtime. After police swarmed the store, Masters eventually fell through a drop ceiling and was arrested. (2) Jarad Carr, 37, was arrested in Chippewa County, Wis., in March after he persisted in demanding a refund for the computer printer he said he had bought at a Wal-Mart (though he lacked a receipt). While examining the printer, the Wal-Mart employee noticed a sheet of paper still inside -- showing two counterfeit $100 bills -- and called police, who
FAMILY VALUES --Rachel Hope and Parker Williams, both apparently intelligent and attractive, decided to procreate and fully raise a child together -- even though neither has romantic intentions toward the other. Their relationship is likened to a business one, according to a February New York Times profile, in which they do their respective biological duties, separately, and then each basically outsources half the subsequent child-rearing to the other. Said another parent in a similar relationship: “When you think about the concept of the village, and how the village was part of child-rearing for so many cultures ... it makes total sense.” --Robert Burton, 34, got a 15-year prison sentence in February for forcing women into prostitution, with evidence including a police report quoting Burton’s 7-year-old son, who was in the car with Burton and two women when Miami police stopped them. The kid had earnestly identified the women: “Those are my daddy’s hoes.”
PERSPECTIVE --Humans’ belief that fragrances improve their allure can seemingly never be overestimated. Dutch-based artists Lernert Engelberts and Sander Plug told The New York Times in March that they recently created a concoction to call attention to our neediness for artificial scent. Noting the deluge of new industry creations in 2012, Engelberts explained, “Our point is, why do you need nearly 1,400 new scents in one year?” The pair created Everything, which they claim contains a bit of every one of the year’s fragrances they were able to obtain (including Fame by Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber’s Girlfriend), dumped into one bottle and left to marinate -- and they offered it for sale for the equivalent of about $39,000.
READERS CHOICE --(1) A judge in Racine, Wis., granted bail for Tyree Carter, 20, for his March arrest for “lewd and lascivious conduct” in the Racine Public Library, but among the conditions of his release was that, until trial, Carter “stay out of all the libraries on the face of the Earth.” (2) In a ruling that lasted less than a week, England’s Mid Devon District Council had decreed in March that henceforth, no street name could contain an apostrophe, e.g., St. George’s would be St. Georges. Outraged punctuationists swung into action, causing the council to quickly reverse itself.
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(Are you ready for News of the Weird Pro Edition? Every Monday at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com and www.WeirdUniverse.net. Other handy addresses: WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, http://www.NewsoftheWeird.com, and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.) COPYRIGHT 2013 CHUCK SHEPHERD DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL UCLICK 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, Mo. 64106
burglary of a Roses department store in Lexington, Ky., in March. Those burglaries
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013
NEWS OF THE WEIRD
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013
WING NIGHT MONDAY : Starters Pub Wings 50¢ Wings • ½ Price Boneless
s Clubhouse WEDNESDAY : Starter s Wings ½ Price Wings & Boneles 5pm-10pm
se
Monday : Starters Clubhou $2.00 Dozen Clams
TUESDAY : Starters Pub $2.00 Dozen Clams 5pm-11pm
½ Price Burgers too!
Wednesdays, 7:30pm at Starters Pub
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Fri APR 12 – Naked Jake Sat Apr 13 - Lou Franco Project
Kitchen open 11am til Midnight
Open 7 days a week 11am - 2am
(corner of S. 5th St & Emaus Ave)
TRIVIA NIGHT
400 Illicks Mill Rd • Bethlehem (610) 625-0060 www.starters-clubhouse.com
Entertainment This Week:
1996 S. Fifth St Allentown
5pm-10pm
STARTERS CLUBHOUSE GRILLE
610-841-3610
Sunday – Open Mic Night
CLAM NIGHT
&
www.strangebrewtavern.co
Featuring a wide array of domestic, import, micro & craft Brews
5pm-11pm
$7 Sandwiches
24 Taps
Cheesesteaks
STARTERS PUB
3731 Route 378 • Bethlehem (610) 997-5454 www.starterspub.com
strangebrew610
WAT CH A L THE GAM L HER ES E
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013
CONCERT BEAT
CHAMELEON CLUB, Lancaster, PA TICKETS 717-393-7713 Reverend Horton Heat, Apr 13 Launch Music Conference, Apr 26 Trapt, May 2 Captured by Robots, May 12
TICKETS 212-307-7171
CROCODILE ROCK, Allentown, PA TICKETS 610-434-4600 Spose, Apr 17 Ganstagrass, Apr 26 Millionaires, Apr 28 Bullet Boys, Aug 15
Alicia Keys, Apr 11 Eric Clapton Crossroads Guitar Fest, Apr 12-13 Muse, Apr 15-16 The Killers, May 14
SUSQUEHANNA BANK CENTER Camden, NJ TICKETS 877-686-5366
MAUCH CHUNK OPERA HOUSE, Jim Thorpe, PA TICKETS 570-325-0249
Toby Keith & Kip Moore, Jun 22 Jimmy Buffet, Jun 25 Dave Matthews Band, Jun 28-29 Vans Warped Tour, Jul 12
IRVING PLAZA, New York, NY TICKETS 212-777-6800
Eagle Mania, Apr 13 Willy Porter, Apr 19 Paula Cole, Apr 20
MOHEGAN SUN ARENA AT CASEY PLAZA, Wilkes Barre, PA
Living Colour, Apr 6 R5 - Loud Tour, Apr 11 The Presidents of The United States, Apr 15 Metal Alliance Tour w/ Anthrax, Apr 20-21
SANDS EVENT CENTER Bethlehem, PA TICKETS 800-745-3000
Anjelah Johnson, Apr 13 Wayne Newton, Apr 20 Goo Goo Dolls, Apr 21 Steve Earl, Apr 26 The Machine Pink Floyd Trib, Apr 27 Alabama, May 2 Alice in Chains, May 7 Boz Scaggs, May 10 Brian Regan, May 12 Paul Anka, May 18 Motley Crue, May 20 -21
TICKETS 717-534-3911
One Direction, Jul 5, 2013 • Dave Matthews Band, Jul 13
TOYOTA PAVILLION Montage Mountain - Scranton, PA TICKETS (570) 961-9000
Dave Matthews Band, May 29 Steamtown Beer Festival, Jun 15 Kid Rock, Jul 6 Rock Star Energy Drink Mayhem Fest, Jul 13 Vans Warped Tour, Jul 16
SOVEREIGN CENTER, Reading, PA
Gabriel Iglesias, Apr 12 Ringling Bros & Barnum Bailey, Apr 24-28
TICKETS 610-898-7200
Chris Young, Apr 20|Alice Cooper/ Marilyn Manson, Jun 18 TICKETS (215) 922-5483
MOUNT AIRY CASINO RESORT, Mount Pocono
THE ELECTRIC FACTORY, Philadelphia, PA
War, Apr 20 Best of NY Burlesque, Apr 27 Thunder from down under, Fri & Sat Jul 5 - Aug 31
WELLS FARGO CENTER Philadelphia, PA
TICKETS 610-332-1300 Ophira Eisenberg, Apr 11 The Fixx, Apr 13 Carbon Leaf, Apr 25
The Black Crowes, Apr 12 Mindless Self Indulgence, Apr 14 Seven Dust, Apr 18 Suicidal Tendencies, Apr 19 Pierce the Veil & All Time Low, Apr 21-22 Bassnectar, May 1-2
TROCADERO, Philadelphia, PA
Toots & the Maytails, Apr 10 Volbeat, Apr 11 Olly Murs, Apr 20 Sammy Adams & T. Mills, Apr 23 Sparks, Apr 24 The Polish Ambassador, Apr 26
REVERB - Reading, PA
TICKETS 215-336-3600
1409 N. 9th St
The Rolling Stones, Jun 18 Bruno Mars, Jun 24
MUSIKFEST CAFE Bethlehem, PA
TICKETS (215) 627-1332
Chicago, May 22 Korn, May 23 BuckCherry, May 24 Weird Al Yankovic, Jun 4 Billy Idol, Jun 9 Willie Nelson, Jun 16 Rock of Ages, Jun 10 Michael McDonald, Jul 7 Los Lobos, Jul 10 Tony Bennett, Jul 26 Sarah Brightman, Sep 22
HERSHEY PARK ARENA, Hershey Park, PA
TICKETS 570-920-7600
TICKETS 877-682-4791
(610) 743-3069 Kotton Mouth Kings, Apr 19 | Aaron Carter, May 31 Carly Rae Jepsen, Aug 2 Frampton’s Guitar Circus, Aug 5 Styx & Foreigner, Aug 7 Darius Rucker, Aug 9 Ke$ha, Aug 10
KESWICK THEATRE, Glenside, PA TICKETS 215-572-7650 The Mavericks, Apr 10 Ron Tater Salad, Apr 13-14 B.B. King, Apr 17 Billy Bragg, Apr 20
SHERMAN THEATER, Stroudsburg, PA
PENNS PEAK, Jim Thorpe, PA
Bar Stool Black Out Tour, Apr 18 3 Days Grace, Apr 19 Chris Young, Apr 20 Steel Panther, Apr 26
Jamey Johnson, Apr 26 Rick Springfield, Apr 28 Tanya Tucker, May 4 Skid Row, May 31
TICKETS 570-420-280 Page 8
MADISON SQUARE GARDEN New York, NY
Rebelution, May 4 Volbeat, May 6 Asking Alexandra, May 8 Bullet for my Valentine, May 19
TICKETS 570-325-0371
Check Out Reverend Horton Heat Friday at the Electric Factory in Philly
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013 Page 10
Movie Review
GINA CRASH’S TOP 10 BROUGHT TO YOU BY
1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10
By Chris Bumbray
WHERE DID THE ANGELS GO? PAPA ROACH
THE CONNECTION
FREAK LIKE ME
HALESTORM
THE STRANGE CASE OF…
THE HIGH ROAD 3 DAYS GRACE
TRANSIT OF VENUS
BY CROOKED STEPS SOUNDGARDEN
KING ANIMAL
PLOT: An art gallery auctioneer, Simon (James McAvoy) becomes the inside man on an artheist. After being hit on the head during the job, he forgets where he stashed the painting, and his partners, led by Franck (Vincent Cassel) take him to a hypnotherapist, Elizabeth (Rosario Dawson) who they hope can unlock his lost memories. REVIEW: TRANCE is Danny Boyle having a good time. It won’t be confused for one of his top-tier films (like TRAINSPOTTING, SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE or 28 DAYS LATER), but it’s certainly Boyle at the most playful he’s been in years. He hasn’t really done a thriller since his debut, SHALLOW GRAVE, but he hasn’t lost a beat bringing all the genre-bending flash and energy to the film that we’ve come to expect by a guy that’s among the best in the business. The premise seems simple enough, with a heist and a hero that’s clearly in over his head. McAvoy brings the right amount of wrong-headed confidence to his part, with Simon obviously underestimating his partners in crime, particularly Vincent Cassel’s Franck, who’s far from the thug Simon seems to dismiss him as. But, unlike SHALLOW GRAVE, this time Boyle doesn’t seem satisfied with going the Hitchcock route, and whatever kind of movie you may think TRANCE is going in, you’ll probably be surprised.
BONES
YOUNG GUNS BONES
FROM CAN TO CAN’T
COREY TAYLOR / DAVE GROHL
SOUND CITY SOUNDTRACK
HOLLOW
ALICE IN CHAINS THE DEVIL PUT DINOSAURS HERE
VILIFY
DEVICE
DEVICE
ALIVE
ADELITA’S WAY
HOME SCHOOL VALEDICTORIAN
I’LL FOLLOW YOU
SHINEDOWN AMARYLIS
T he key to TRANCE ends up being Rosario Dawson’s hypnotherapist, Elizabeth. I’ve been a huge fan of Dawson’s for years, and this is probably her juiciest role to date. She’s far more than the window dressing or femme fatale she comes across as in the trailer. Like many classic noir heroines, you’ll never be exactly sure of where her alliances lie, but there’s enough going on here with her that after the various reveals it would probably be interesting to watch TRANCE all over again just to see what Dawson does with her performance. My only problem with TRANCE is that while its maze like structure is exciting, it loses a bit of momentum towards the end. It builds up to this ultra-surreal level, with one character whose head has been mostly blown off coming back for a little chat- but then it pulls the rug out from under us in its final couple of reveals. Once the credits rolled, I wasn’t sure the conclusion really worked, but after thinking about it a bit it started to grow on me. Again- I think TRANCE is a movie that will definitely benefit from repeat viewings. So, while it’s not one of Boyle’s best films, it’s still a heck of a lot of fun, and a slick energetic ride. Boyle’s really one of my favorite directors, and TRANCE is certainly a worthy addition to his canon. The cast is spot on, the film looks and sounds great, and the 100 minute running time never drags. I highly recommend checking it out- but then again, if you’re a fan of Boyle you don’t need me to convince you.
DECOY CLONES – CYCLONIC CLASSIC ROCK With the re-release of Jurassic Park in 3D, I am reminded of the cloning and hatching of the various species of dinosaurs that terrorized the island theme park. In the movie, Jeff Goldblum’s character, Dr. Ian Malcolm, warns of the folly of trying to reintroduce the large, dangerous and previously extinct reptiles into a 20th century controlled environment. The idea to form Decoy Clones was hatched at Penn’s Peak during a Tubes concert. Too bad it wasn’t a T. Rex concert. No frog DNA needed to complete the genetic sequence here. Classic rock is inherent in their genes. L-R: Anthony “Skip” Azzalina, Mark “Jaco” Williamson, Pat Rem
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013
by: Mitch
resilience and resonance of this drum set harkens back to the era of John Bonham and Ginger Baker. A Williamson solo on this classic kit is sure to please. Guitarist Skip Azzalina interprets many of the great guitar legends. You’ll hear the Southern style of Dickey Betts with “Jessica” and “Ramblin’ Man” along with the cascading melody of Eric Clapton’s “Let it Rain.” But you’ll also hear the blues with “Clapton’s “Before You Accuse Me” and B.B. King’s “The Thrill Is Gone.” Pat Rem stomps about and causes the floor to shake as he pounds on the bass guitar while providing the vocals for Cream classics like “Sunshine of Your Love”, “Crossroads” and “SWLABR.” Rem often uses touch and tap techniques when playing bass and is a joy to watch. Decoy Clones perform fantastic versions of Joe Walsh’s “Walk Away”, The Doors’“Roadhouse Blues” and CCR’s “Green River/Suzie Q.” Fleetwood Mac’s “Hypnotized” is one of those songs you don’t often hear played live and it will bring a smile. With Cream songs a big part of their cover repertoire, Williamson freely admits that Pat “looks like Jack Bruce. He plays like Jack Bruce. We love him. He’s fantastic.” Decoy Clones covers Cream , The Allman Brothers, Eric Clapton, The Doors, Joe Walsh, CCR, Talking Heads, Spirit and Buffalo Springfield. But their rendition of The Moody Blues’ “Nights in White Satin” merits special mention because it sets them apart from other classic rocks bands and trios in particular. They have managed to take a symphonic arrangement and recreate it with such authenticity that it’s hard to believe only three players are creating the sounds. Williamson says, “I tried to find a couple guys that were just out of sight musically and I heard Skip was an incredible guitar player. I had jammed with Pat a couple times and he’s an unbelievable bass player.” The mild-mannered yet hard-rocking drummer Williamson says, “We’re going to start writing some originals real soon. So we can play Penn’s Peak - places like that.” Azzalina adds, “That’s the main thing – do some originals, do some recordings. Something that would allow us to stretch out a little bit.”
Decoy Clones are Anthony “Skip” Azzalina on guitars/vocals, Pat Rem on bass/vocals and Mark “Jaco” Williamson on drums. Clones drummer Mark Williamson explains how the plan to form the Clones was hatched. “I saw Pat and Skip at Penn’s Peak and I asked them if they’d like to get together and jam. We all got together in my basement and it was just magical the way we performed. We hit it off as soon as we started playing. We knew there was something there.”
Mitch has been on the air rockin’ the Lehigh Valley for eighteen years and has been with The Hawk for the last ten years! Tune in weeknights for The Six O’Clock Class Reunion and great classic hits from the 60s through the 90s and on Saturdays for great giveaways including free concert tickets for great area shows! To have your band reviewed please contact me at: mitch999thehawk@gmail.com
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Williamson plays a hefty 70s era Fibes crystallite drum kit and has recently added another bass drum to his impressive set which now numbers at least thirty pieces. The set-up of this particular kit takes ninety minutes to two hours to complete and the
So how does a band come up with a name like Decoy Clones? Williamson says, “It took us a long time to come up with a name. Decoy Clones was Skip’s idea.” An interesting name for an interesting band that is only beginning to be heard in the Lehigh Valley. You can catch Decoy Clones this Saturday, April 13, at The Country Tavern in Plumsteadville. Find them online on Facebook.
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013 Page 12
HOTSHOTS!
If you are a bar or club that would like to featured in Hot Shots send us an email: thevalleybeat@gmail.com
THE LEGENDARY BAND “YES” CAPTIVATES FOR A SECOND TIME AT THE SANDS EVENT CEN-
PHOTOS BY: SHOWGUN PHOTOGRAPHY
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013
PAGE 13
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013
CLUBS AND PUBS ALLENTOWN
Jabber Jaws Bar & Grille 1327 Chew St Allentown, PA 610-432-6524 4/13 Black Anvil, With Decaysia, Buzzherd, Blyndsyde, Bastard Thieves & Just If I’d Rage Tilted Kilt 2835 Lehigh St 610-791-2100 Grumpy’s BBQ Roadhouse 3000 Mauch Chunk Rd, 610-769-4600 4/12 Midnigh Shift 4/13 Ultra Kings Rascals Pub & Afterdark Lounge 6616 Ruppsville Rd 610-366-1130 Tuesday Nights: Karaoke w/DJ Troy Pitchers Sports Bar & Grill 570 Union Boulevard 610-841-4001 Friday: Live Entertainment 4/27 Mcs for MS Benefit
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Stratus Night Club 1193 Airport Road 610-776-2090 Wednesday: Karaoke 6/1 Rupall Drag Race Roxxxy Andrews
BATH Cornerstone Pub 506 Penn St 610-837-6670 5/11 Blessing of the Bikes: noon - 4pm
BETHLEHEM Bar With No Name 300 Gateway Drive 610-866-5800 Fridays: DJ Cap Cee Saturdays: DJ Trama MacGrady’s 117 E. Third St 610-868-8925 Wednesday: Baseball Thurday: DJ@10pm Sat: BOGO Burgers Sunday: Football
Funhouse 5 E. Fourth Street 610-868-5311 4/10 K-Jamm 4/11 Back To Action 4/12 Descendant of Steel 4/13 Civilian 4/14 Jazz Jam Night 4/15 Open Jam Night 4/16 ASA / EM
Diamondz 1913 W Broad St Bethlehem, Pa 18018 610 865 1028 Monday: Jukebox Strange Brew Thursday: Karaoke Tavern Fri & Sat: Dance club/ 1996 S. Fifth St Karaoke 610-841-3610 Monday: Pong night Sunday: Karaoke Sunday: Open mic 4/12 Naked Jake Bethlehem Brew 4/13 Lou Franco Works 569 Main St Roosevelt’s 21st 1328 W. Tilghman St 610-882-1300 (610) 770-1444 4/25 Highlighter Pty Vision Bar @ Sands Event Center 77 Sands Boulevard Jetport Lounge 3400 Airport Rd. 610-297-7410 Allentown, Pa 4/12 GLi 610-266-1000 4/13 DJ Dynamite Wednesdays: 6-12am DJ Jimmy K Tally Ho Fridays: 205 W. Fourth St Mike Mitman 610-865-2591
Sands Bethlehem Molten Lounge 511 E. 3rd Street 484-777-7777 4/10 DJ Johnny B & DJ N9ne 4/11 Steal the Sky 4/12 Beat City 4/13 StellarMojo 4/14 The X-Clusive 4/15 Large Flowerheads 4/16 Joyous Roosevelt’s 21st 25 E. Elizabeth Ave (610) 266-1950 April 17th Troegs Dinner
GLi 4/12 Vision Bar at the Sands Event Center Bethlehem, PA
Naked Jake 4/12 Strange Brew Allentown, PA
Godfrey Daniels 7 E. Fourth St 610-867-2390 4/12 Greg Klyma and Anthony da Costa 4/16 April Swing Jam
CATASAQUA Blue Monkey Sports Restaurant 1092 Howertown Rd 610-266-1550
The Standard 4/13 Drinky’s Easton, PA
COOPERSBURG Silhouettes Showbar & Gentlemen’s Club 111 E. Station Ave (Right off 309) 610-282-8010
BARTONSVILLE
The Pocono Pub Rt. 611, Bartonsville 570-421-5743 Monday: Open Mic Tues, Thurs, Sun: Karaoke 4/10 T.B.A 4/13 T.B.A
EASTON Spanky’s East 1700 Butler St 610-559-5170 Tues: Texas Hold Em’ Drinky’s 3 Centre St Sq 610-252-3800 Wed: Pong Night $100 Fri: DJ Zee 4/13 The Standard Porter’s Pub 700 Northampton St. 610-250-6561 4/10 Irish Jam 4/11 Yan Carlos Sanchez 4/12 Dustin Schoof 4/13 Public Displays of Rejection
The Large Flowerheads 4/15 Molten Lounge Sands Casino Allentown, PA
MORE ON PAGE 21
Main Gate 17 W. Liberty Street 610-776-7711 Friday Night: Noche Latina Saturday: Classique 80’s, 90’s music
The Brewworks Restaurant & Brewery 812-816 W Hamilton St 610-433-7777 Tuesday: Comedy Wednesday: Trivia Thursday: Karaoke Friday: Office Party Saturday: Guided Tours
By Camille Capriglione
There is a talented young man from our area who is taking the music industry by storm - Christian Porter! Last month, this young performer wowed the audience, and the celebrity judges, on NBC’s hit music show “The Voice.” He made it through the blind audition and received compliments from Blake Shelton, Usher and Shakira. Those who know Christian are not surprised. He has a star quality and has been a performer to watch since he was sixteen years old. We had the opportunity to talk with Christian just one week after his spectacular acoustic performance on The Voice. He sang a version of LMFAO’s “Sexy and I Know It,” causing a stir with his boyish charm, humble persona and incredible talent. Porter chose Blake Shelton for his coach and he’ll go on to the second round of competitions in mid-April. VB: Did you have any formal music training? CP: Not really. I took piano at a young age. My mother taught me. But I played guitar since I was 14; my dad bought me an electric guitar. I took advantage of the Internet and learned as much as I could. So I’m self-taught. VB: Did you audition for other shows besides “The Voice?” CP: I did. There was always the ‘what if’ factor for me. What if I made this show, or that show? I would just go for it. There was an open casting call for The Voice at the IZOD Center in New Jersey. It was a show I feel passionate about. VB: You played at Sarah Street Grill in Stroudsburg for a few years, is that right? CP: Yes. Since I was fifteen. I sang at the open mic nights on Wednesdays. Musicians Diane and Willie would let me play two or three songs, and the owner, Dave, always supported me. I had my first gig there when I was 16. Sarah Street likes when musicians take cover songs and change them up, make them their own. When I’m onstage I can be myself. I never had a 9 to 5 job. It was always about music. I’ve never worked a day in my life because I get paid to do what I love. Practice (vocals and guitar)- that’s my work. VB: How does your family feel about your recent success? CP: My family is loving it! My parents are very proud and supportive. I have an older brother and a younger sister and they’re really excited for me. VB: The day after your audition, your song was the most downloaded song of the day on ITunes. CP: Yeah! I think it peaked at number 45 and hit the high teens in the Pop genre, which was amazing.
VB: Regarding the song you chose, how did you decide on that rendition? It was so unique. Usher commented that you took a risk. CP: It’s such a fun song. I knew I’d have the time of my life performing it whether or not any coaches turned around. Noah Guthrie created the skeleton of the song, which was a cover of LMFAO’s version. I liked it. It was bluesy, so cool and mellow. I covered Noah’s cover. I extended it and changed melodies. I gave him credit, both onstage and off. I hope everyone knows that. VB: Where was “The Voice” taped? CP: In Los Angeles. I’d never been there before. I didn’t have the typical college experience, of being away from home and living in a dorm. I attended ESU (East Stroudsburg University) so it was cool. I stayed in a hotel and roomed with a fellow contestant. VB: Were you nervous to be in the presence of established musicians? CP: It was a true blind audition so I had no contact with the singers before the show. It was such a quick moment; it felt like seconds. VB: How did you feel about the individual comments? A judge said that you ‘were so good they wondered if you were even human.’ CP: It was very surreal, to even be talking with them afterwards. But every word they said soaked in, the good and bad. VB: Why did you choose to be on Team Blake? CP: I was intrigued by all the coaches and I went in with an open mind. When I was young, I listened to Blake Shelton before I even knew who he was, always liked his music. I chose Blake because I saw a resemblance in him, it felt like home, and he’s down to earth. Working with Blake is like destiny. VB: What are your future plans? CP: If I weren’t a performer, I’d be into sports, or architecture and the arts. I love baseball and soccer and snowboarding as a hobby. But I don’t want to break any bones at this point. VB: What do you want people to know about Christian Porter? CP: I don’t keep secrets. People who know me will tell you that I’m a shy person at first, but music allows me to express myself. I have no crazy stories. I’m down to earth. I have a great family, a healthy family, and great friends. I’m just a normal guy with a passion for music.
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VB: You now have a lot of followers on Twitter? CP: (Laughs) I had 400 followers before the show, now it’s
like 5500. I wasn’t a big social media kind of guy.
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013
Interview with Christian Porter
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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013
BY: Tyler Drake
http://www.facebook.com/thevalleybeat
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Let me make this plain: after the end of Bethlehem Schiffer and police union president Wade Haubert. Mayor John Callahan’s reign, the mane of his Fighting out of the grey corner, Bob Donchez successor will be a stain on the mantle of sent a different mailer attacking Reynolds’s job coiffureture that the city government’s main performance on city council. The mailer, a garish office has become known for as far as Maine. The red-and-yellow document purporting to show a hair of the next mayor simply will not compare. report card for “Willie Reynolds,” gives Reynolds ¬William Reynolds (bald). They are both a column of Ds for his performance. The ratings Democrats. Both have red-white-and-blue come from a citizen’s group that monitors city websites where they appear in light-blue shirts council (Donchez’s grades were near the C+ smiling or talking with uniformed working range). The document also shows a ten-year-old people. Both are white men. Both were raised picture of Reynolds wearing a backwards cap in Bethlehem. Both graduated from Liberty along with his response to the grade: “I’m sure I’ll High School. Both have served on the board of lose lots of sleep tonight next to my hot girlfriend.” directors of the Bethlehem Area Public Library. After reading this, as a responsible journalist Both believe in safety, fiscal responsibility, I immediately googled “j william reynolds development, neighborhoods, and transparent girlfriend.” No images, except one where he is government. In fact, these exact five bullet points potentially standing with his sister. A craigslist make up the core of both of their strategic visions. “missed connections” post I created looking Donchez, according to his website, for J. William Reynolds’s hot girlfriend only wants to be “your voice in Bethlehem.” received spam in response. This guy plans to run He apparently sends a lot of mail. a transparent government when on the whole J. William says, “I believe in the idea of Bethlehem.” of the internet there is not one single readily Both believe in safety, fiscal responsibility, available picture of him with He offers a policy initiative called Winning development, neighborhoods, and transparent a girlfriend? Here is another Our Neighborhoods government. In fact, these exact five bullet points question: why is Bob Donchez (WON), which cleverly make up the core of both of their strategic visions. sending all these mailers? changes the verb tense in making the acronym. Does anyone not immediately throw this stuff out? With two so superficially similar candidates, Local races don’t generate the kind of polling one might anticipate a clean campaign. But results that national elections do, so it is hard already the mudslinging has begun, and both for a punter like your correspondent to tell who sides are flinging accusations that the other is ahead. J. William Reynolds seems to have the side was the first to start flinging accusations. support of the local bars and pubs, where his Fighting out of the bald corner, J. William campaign signs often adorn the walls. The police Reynolds described a mailer from the Donchez seem to like Donchez, based on his controversial campaign as “potentially being a violation” of mailer. Your correspondent does not, by campaign election standards and further stated tradition, endorse either candidate, but instead that, if it were such a violation, “that’s something hopes for a colorful, underhanded, contentious, the people of Bethlehem should know about.” The scandal-ridden, and newsworthy campaign. mailer in question said “Bob Donchez Endorsed by Bethlehem Police.” The Bethlehem Police Department cannot endorse a candidate, but individual police officers and the Fraternal Order of Police lodges are free to do so. This distinction led to a twitter flap between police chief Jason
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013
MAYORAL CAMPAIGN TRAIL
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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013
LIBRA (9/23 - 10/22) Whatever else happens, afford your time to spend with you-know-who -- time stretching into forever. What will you do together? It’s entirely up to you. But a dose of selflessness isn’t a bad idea. What would this other person like to do? Wednesday and Thursday, your mind is still on other people (attachments and alliances are strong themes), and Friday finds you scrambling to find a creative way to tell someone how much you appreciate them. Saturday and Sunday, expressing yourself comes more easily. You’ll come up with so many new ideas you won’t remember them all.
TAURUS (4/20 – 5/20) You are of two minds about everything. The best advice is to shop around. Don’t take the first thing that catches your eye if it’s not right. Don’t feel pressured to accelerate through the decision-making process. Starting Wednesday, everything will be easier, and you’ll feel good just from being in the company of people who know you. Thursday and Friday find you happy as well, appreciative of everything you have, wondering if you’ve become a glutton, what with all the excess that surrounds you. Nevertheless, this weekend you will be in the mood to shop.
SCORPIO (10/23 - 11/21) While your impulse to deal with issues as they arise is a good one, it’s not the right impulse. Avoiding conflict is the order of the day. Things could easily get out of hand. Wednesday and Thursday are better suited to working things out -- although, to your frustration, the best solution most likely requires that you give in on some point (a small point, a painless concession). Boldness is key to getting beyond the obstacles Friday has in store for you, but this weekend you’re better off proceeding on tiptoe. Sunday is deep.
GEMINI (5/21 – 6/21) Tuesday’s great for communicating as well. Wednesday and Thursday are more introspective days (you will have to call on inner resources to get everything handled), and Friday involves an awkward squabble with someone nearby (a coworker or a neighbor). But Saturday and Sunday are bursting with goodness and, possibly, romance.
SAGITTARIUS (11/22 - 12/21) You like creating these kinds of games for yourself, and you like getting things done. The secret to Wednesday is in the details, but Thursday and Friday you’d be wise to take a step back and look at everything through wider goggles. On Saturday there is so much going on that you’ll have no chance at depth or meaning in your social interactions -- but you’ll be so busy this won’t even occur to you. Sunday’s busy too.
CANCER (6/22 – 7/22) A smell, a color, even a word brings you right back to something from your past (and all the attendant emotions). On Wednesday and Thursday, dinner parties, charming people and your house all figure strongly, and Friday is full of crazy ideas and a sense of urgency about generating newer, crazier ideas. Saturday is the kind of day when you’ll walk to the store and, on a whim, decide to keep walking -- just to see how far you can get, to make an adventure of your afternoon. Sunday, however, is made for completing tasks.
CAPRICORN (12/22 - 1/19) You are feeling loyal and worried in that loving, protective way, and the best thing to do might be to pay a visit. If that’s not possible, try to connect in some other way. Wednesday is much more you-centered -- a creative project will have you grinning -- and Thursday or Friday evening might be right for a small trip somewhere, for a couple of hours or overnight. Camping? A motel with a pool in a no-name town? The weekend returns you very much to the real world, full of flaky people, talkative strangers and faithful, brilliant friends.
LEO (7/23 - 8/22) Prepare to shake hands with someone who, in the course of a casual conversation, will change your opinion of something. On Wednesday, you won’t see anyone except the people you work with, and on Thursday you won’t have much room for thoughts except those related to work. But Friday is a total mixed bag: celebrities, the law, your boss, your ego -- all of these things may figure in. The weekend, conversely, is about none of those things. The weekend is about friends, dreams and hopes.
AQUARIUS (1/20 - 2/18) You’re easing into a new approach to your life. You may be feeling a bit radical, a bit bohemian -- or maybe you’re just reading too many French novels. It’s changing the way you dress though, no? And the way you interact with people? Your values? Wednesday and Thursday, your selfdiscovery takes on even more dimensions, and on Friday you are baffled not only by your own strangeness but by the strangeness of life itself. It’s a wild week for you, internally. And then it becomes wild externally: An out-ofleft-field love affair rocks your weekend. PISCES (2/19 - 3/20) Everything takes on a certain murkiness, and by you’ll have no idea which way is up. That kind of disorientation can be fun, so long as you’re in the mood for it. Wednesday and Thursday, find antidotes to the ambiguous abstractedness. Make dinner at home. Put down your thoughts in writing. Play an album you know by heart. On Friday, nothing is as strong as the pull of your heart, which may explain why, on Saturday, you’ll open up a book of poetry. Sunday isn’t a boring day, but you should try to keep the activities cerebral rather than athletic.
HELLERTOWN
Beer Mussels 1214 Main St 610-838-8200 Friday: Leechboy Saturday: Texas Hold’em Sunday: Texas Hold’em
PALMER Charles Chrin Community Ctr 4100 Green Pond Rd
CENTER VALLEY Melt Level 3 2805 Center Valley Parkway 610-798-9000 Fridays DJ Chubby C Saturday DJ Fog (Dan Glatts)
QUAKERTOWN Big Daddy’s Wagon Wheel Tavern Route 313 & Sternersmill Rd. 215-536-9989 4/12 From the Wreckage
WIND GAP Score Card Sports Bar 130 N. Broadway 610-863-5269 Thursdays : Funtime Karaoke 9:30pm - 1:30am
READING Rumorz 220 N. Park Rd 610-374-3200 Brass Lantern 1350 N 12th St 610-372-9311
KUHNSVILLE Kuhnsville Inn 5745 Memorial Rd 610-395-2387 Wed & Fri: Karaoke
WESCOSVILLE
Krocks Pub 1160 S. Krocks Rd 610-391-0648 Sat: DJ Linx
NORTHAMPTON The Gin Mill / Main St Music Hall 1750 Main Street 610-262-5486 Wednesday: Karaoke Thursday: Karaoke Hammerhead Lounge 326 Main Street 610-262-6713 Tuesdays: Karaoke/Billiards Thursday: DJ B-Rad Fridays: DJ Statik 4/13 Crazy Hearts
MACUNGIE The Pub On Main 102 E. Main St 610-966-2275 Thursdays: Comedy Night The Longswamp Tavern 20 Gap Road 610-702-3700 4/20 T.B.A 4/27 The Dark Matters
OREFIELD Leather Corner Post 6855 Horeshoe Road 610-395-1782 Tuesday: Trivia w/ DJ Slacker Wednesday: Acoustic Jam Thursday: Open Jam 4/12 James Supra Band 4/13 Triage
CLINTON, NJ Revolution 111 W. Main Street Clinton NJ Inside Holiday Inn
DOYLESTOWN
Puck 1 Printers Alley 215-348-9000 4/12 Freedy Johnston 4/13 Cabin Dogs 4/14 Tim Farrell Chambers 19 / The Other Side 19 N. Main Ave 215-348-1940 The Farmhouse Tavern 380 N. Main St 215-345-9373
PENNSBURG PC Pub Restaurant & Sports Bar 500 Pottstown Ave 215-679-4900 Thur/Fri/Sat: DJ The Perk 501 E. Walnut St. 215-257-8483 Wednesdays: Open Mic Thursdays: Trivia Night Saturday: Karaoke
GOULDSBORO The Grandview Gentlemens Club Rt 435 570-842-2661 Tuesday: College/Miltary Night 5/1 Amateur Night
STROUDSBURG Sarah Street Grill 550 Quaker Alley 570-424-9120 Wednesday: Open Mic 4/11 Erin McClelland 4/12 Thomas Graham & William Orner Show 4/13 Cherokee Red 4/14 The Pocono Duo 4/16 Marc Von Em Band
For entertainment listings email us: thevalleybeat@gmail.com
Check out Emily’s Triage this Saturday at the Leather Corner Post in Orefield
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VIRGO (8/23 - 9/22) High-spiritedness can quickly become combativeness when tempers run short. Keep your head on long-term goals (your relationships with the people around you, for instance) rather than short-term questions (who stole your stapler?). It isn’t until Wednesday that you begin to feel truly compatible with others this week. Thursday and Friday find you getting a lot done -- and finding more and more things to do (one door, alas, leads to another) -- and the weekend is loaded with potential. It will be a great weekend or a nothing weekend, depending entirely on you.
CLUBS AND PUBS continued
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013
ZODIAC
ARIES (3/21 – 4/19) Your enthusiasm has an effect on the outside world. It’s almost as if flowers lift higher out of the earth when you walk by. Midweek, walks are great, and in keeping with your mood, when progress is a concern but speed is not. Thursday and Friday are especially molasses-filled days, but, like molasses, they are not without a certain amount of sweetness. You will reap rewards for your perseverance. Saturday and Sunday, by comparison, are strapped-to-a-rocket speedy. Expect your hair to get wild.
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Dirty One-Liners (part 2) Q: When is a man most intelligent, before, after or during sex? A: During sex cuz he’s plugged up to the knowledge source=:) Sex is like math. Add a bed, Subtract the clothes, Divide the legs, and pray you don’t Multiply! Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mother! Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? A: The man. Q: Why is sex like a game of bridge? A: You either need a good partner or a good hand. Q: What is the difference between women and a washing machine? A: The washing machine doesn’t follow you around for two weeks after you put a load into it Q: Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike? A: You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere. Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead? A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up. Q: How can you tell if your husband is dead? A: The sex is the same but you get to use the remote. Q: What is similarity between woman and mobile? A: They both are charged at night. A chicken is the result of a sitting hen, while a baby is the result of a standing cock. A boy goes to a strip club. His MOM gets angry : Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see? BOY: Yes, I saw dad! Sex is like the army, the closer you are to discharge, the better you feel. You think 7 years for a mirror is bad? Try breaking a condom. A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. ‘Do you want a bag?’, the cashier asks ‘No’, the guy says, ‘she’s not that ugly’
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Women say us men only think with our penis. Ladies, don’t be afraid to blow our minds. I was in math class and my teacher asked “what comes after 69?” Apparently “I do” is not the correct answer.
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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013
JOKES
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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 10, 2013
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MODEL BEAT
Age: 28 Hometown: Elizabethtown, PA What do you do to make $$$. Certified Personal Trainer/Nurse, Print, Promotional & Film Model. Are you? Single, dating, engaged, or married. Married. How would our readers get to know you or become your friend? FaceBook or Contact My Agent: Randy@DonatelliModels. Com. 610-921-5582 Ask for Randy! Where was your best vacation destination? Tortola. What do you do to relax. I work out! What sports do you watch the most. Football. “I like tight Ends” :) What is your favorite alcoholic beverage. White Russians. What happens to be your worst vice. I text too much. What is your best feature. My eyes & Curves. What TV show do you never miss each week. The Ultimate Fighter. What movie would you recommend to our readers. The Big Lebowski What is at the top of your “Bucket List”. I want to go to Sicily and see where my roots are. But only after I can speak Italian fluently. Are you a Spender or a Saver. Unfortunately, a spender. What have you done in the last year that you would think is news to our readers? I Started training for my first amateur figure competition coming up in June. What do you sleep in. Shorts and a tank top or Commando What is the worst pick-up line ever tried on you. I would like to see the tag in ur. To see if it says made in heaven. What do want guys to know about sex/relationships that you wish they knew (but they don’t)!. Girls like foreplay!
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