FREE MAY 15, 2013 THEVALLEYBEAT.COM
PHOTO COURTESY OF: MOTLEY CRUE
COMING TO THE SANDS EVENT CENTER MAY 20 & 21
LIKE THE BEAT
THE VALLEY’S HOTTEST WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE NEWSPAPER
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
Pie’s On Pizzeria (610) 264-7000
Did you have your piece today
www.piesonpizzeria
We Deliver! Monday (Closed)
Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 11am-10pm Friday & Saturday 11am - 11pm Sunday 4pm - 10pm Front & Pine Streets Catasaqua, Pa 18032
JOIN US ON FACEBOOK CHECK US OUT ON THE WEB THEVALLEYBEAT.COM
Welcome To Our Brand New Renovated Location
PAGE 2
Conveniently located 1.5 miles From The Lehigh Valley Airport
BRAND NEW SERTA PILLOWTOP MATTRESSES
•FREE INTERNET • FREE BREAKFAST • GREAT NIGHTLY RATE • CENTRALLY LOCATED IN THE VALLEY • WALKING DISTANCE FROM STRATUS NIGHT CLUB & PLATINUM PLUS GENTLEMEN’S CLUB 1033 AIRPORT RD • ALLENTOWN PA 18103 • 610-434-9550
COVER: MOTLEY CRUE 11 LOCAL BEAT
WWW.THEVALLEYBEAT.COM
GUIDE 5 NEWS OF THE WEIRD Weird, but true stories from here and around the globe
8 CONCERT BEAT
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
THIS WEEK
VOL.1 ISSUE 6ISSUE • OCTOBER 27 - NOV 2, 2010 139. MAY 15 - 21, 2013
Concert listings from many places
10 CLUB & PUBS
We are working on it but need your help please send info
BEAT 11 LOCAL Each week we comment on local or national talent.
12 HOT SHOTS
Maybe we snapped a pic of you, check it out!
TOPCrashSPINS & MOVIE REVIEW 15 Gina from The Bone’s Top 10 Radio Hits. & A movie review 16 Done ALBUM REVIEW by The Bone’s - Scotty Brilliant
18 GRADUATION 26 ZODIAC
Tyler Drake gives us a first hand look at the trial and tribulations of graduation
Your astrology for the week
36 JOKES & COMICS
12 HOT SHOTS 39 MODEL BEAT 39
A few chuckles to get you through the week
MODEL BEAT Last, but certainly not least your model of the week
Welcome to The Valley Beat Newspaper! Lehigh Valley’s Hottest Alternative Newspaper. Distributed at more than 600 locations across the Lehigh Valley, Reading, Upper Bucks County & the Poconos Contact Information: Fax: 484-229-0506 thevalleybeat@gmail.com • valerie@thevalleybeat.com clubinfo@thevalleybeat.com • distribution@thevalleybeat.com classifieds@thevalleybeat.com
Please Note: The content in this paper does not necessarly represent the views of The Valley Beat Newspaper, Inc. Local Beat Bands That Rock, The Valley Beat are registered trademarks of the The Valley Beat Newspaper, Inc. Any content may not be reproduced without permission or written consent of The Valley Beat Newspaper, Inc. Local Beat - Bands That Rock are a Registered Trademark #3342218 within in the state of Pennsylvania. Any Material submitted becomes the property of The Valley Beat Newspaper, Inc. The Valley Beat reserves the right to refuse advertising or content. The Valley Beat is not liable for any errors discovered, or any changes after an ad has been printed.
Editor: Valerie L. Keiper Cover Design: Don Junz Creative Director: Don Junz Album Review: Scotty Brilliant Model Beat: Shane Hartman, Tina Dolin & JH Photography Hot Shots: Showgun Photography Contributor: Mitch | Columinists: Tyler Drake Camille Capriglione
For Advertising info contact: Don Junz (484) 293-1831 © The Valley Beat Newspaper, Inc. All Rights Reserved
PAGE 3
Join Us on Facebook: The Valley Beat
Direct all inquiries to: The Valley Beat • RR 1 Box 457 • Stroudsburg, PA 18360
Page 4
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
by Chuck Shepherd LEAD STORY
LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS
--The medical establishment generally regards placentas (afterbirth) as biohazardous waste, but to New York City placenta chef Jennifer Mayer, they are a nutrient-laden meat that can alleviate postpartum depression and aid in breast milk production (among other so-far-unverified benefits). Mayer typically sets up in clients’ own kitchens, she told New York magazine for an August story. Some placentas are “really intense, with grief or sadness or uncertainty.” Others might be “joyful,” “big and round.” Mayer’s method: Drain the blood, blot dry, cook for a half-hour (leaving something resembling brisket), chop into slivers, dehydrate overnight (rendering it jerkylike). For a popular touch, Mayer then grinds it in a blender and pours the powder into several dozen (one-a-day) capsules.
--The man who approached tellers at the Eastern Bank in South Boston on Aug. 25 eventually fled empty-handed, but only after one teller had refused his order for “all your money” (she told him she was “closed”) and another had scolded him for breaking into the front of the adjacent line and for not removing his hoodie. --A man dressed as Gumby was ignored by a 7-Eleven clerk when he tried to rob the store in Rancho Penasquitos, Calif., on Sept. 5. The clerk told “Gumby” not to waste his time, and “Gumby” finally fled. The clerk had such little respect for “Gumby” that he did not even report the “robbery”; it came to light only when his boss was reviewing surveillance video.
CAN’T POSSIBLY BE TRUE
UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT
--The Learning Channel’s “Toddlers & Tiaras” series has pushed critics’ buttons
--”Do You See the Blimp Who Robbed You?”: In August, 400-pound Eric Kenley, 48, won a
enough with its general support of the competitive world of child beauty pageants,
new trial for his two New York City robbery convictions after appeals court judges realized
but a recent episode provoked unusually rabid complaints, according to a Septem-
that the police lineup that identified him was unfair, in that he was apparently much fatter
ber New York Post report. Mother Lindsay Jackson had costumed her 4-year-old
than the other men in his lineup. The police had attempted to compensate by using larg-
Maddy as “Dolly Parton” -- anatomically correct (chest and backside) Dolly Parton.
er-than-average men and by presenting them all seated, to minimize the weight difference.
The Post described Maddy as “embarrass(ed)” at her chest when another 4-year-old
--You’re Doing It Wrong: Jason Dean, 24, was arrested in Ringgold, Ga., in August and
pointed at her and asked, “What is that?” (Ultimately, the judges liked Maddy -- for
charged with false imprisonment after he waited in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, ap-
“sweetest face.”)
proached an 18-year-old woman and handcuffed her to himself. After her screams brought
--Things You Didn’t Think Existed: (1) World Record for Length of Tonsils: Justin
others to come help her, Dean explained that he had been trying for several months to get the
Werner, 21, of Topeka, Kan., was certified in July by the Guinness Book, with tonsils
woman to go out with him but that she had so far refused.
measuring 2.1 inches and 1.9 inches, respectively. The old “champion” was Justin
--A New York Times obituary for former lead singer Jani Lane of the heavy metal band
Dodge of Milwaukee. (2) Global Competition in Dominos: The breakaway Georgian
Warrant revealed that Mr. Lane’s birth name (he was born a year after Lee Harvey Oswald
region of Abkhazia will be the site, in October, of the world domino championship.
assassinated President John F. Kennedy) was John Kennedy Oswald. Rebellious musicians
(Twenty-five countries belong to the International Domino Federation.)
(Warrant’s debut album was “Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich”) often adopt provocative
--Retired U.S. Army Sgt. Maj. Rob Dickerson finally received his Purple Heart this
stage names to enhance their image, but Mr. Lane must be one of the very few to have aban-
summer, four years after he was seriously wounded in a rocket attack in Iraq and
doned a provocative birth name in favor of a bland one.
two years after he began a paperwork battle with the Army to “prove” his injury. Recently, the Army had apologized and mailed him the award, but it arrived C.O.D., leaving Dickerson to pay the $21 fee. (The Army subsequently reimbursed Dickerson the fee, but Dickerson said he hasn’t been able to cash the check, in that it was erroneously made out to “Roy Dirksen.”)
INEXPLICABLE --Madrid’s Getafe soccer club, struggling for customers, startled Spain this summer by commissioning a porn movie, with zombies, hoping to attract more fans. As if that were not quixotic enough, it then tied the movie to a campaign to solicit sperm-bank donations. Explained the film’s producer, Angel Torres, “We have to move a mass of fans to seed the world with Getafe supporters.” A promo for the film follows a Getafe fan, armed with a copy of the movie for his viewing pleasure, as he disappears into a clinic’s private cubicle to fulfill his donation.
NEW FRONTIERS IN PERVERSION --Mennonites, a famously patriarchal, closed-sect religion, often live in colonies such as the one in Bolivia founded by a group from Manitoba, Canada. At press time, eight men from the colony are on trial in Santa Cruz, Bolivia, for rapes of up to 130 women and girls from 2005 to 2009, allegedly instigated by Peter Weiber, 48, the colony’s veterinarian. Weiber supposedly converted a cow anesthetic into an aerosol sedative that he sprayed into the victims’ open bedroom windows at night, after which he and his co-defendants would enter and have their way with the victims. According to an August dispatch in Time magazine, the case is hampered by shamed victims’ reluctance to testify and by the behavior of the defendants, who have been “laughing” at witnesses, “jok(ing) with guards,” or “fall(ing) asleep” during the trial.
READERS CHOICE --When Billy W. Williams, 53, skipped out during his trial for aggravated assault in 2003 in Dallas, Judge Faith Johnson was obviously annoyed, though Williams was nonetheless found guilty in absentia. When Williams was recaptured and returned to her courtroom in October 2004 for sentencing, Judge Johnson organized a “welcome back” party in his “honor,” with balloons, streamers and a cake, to create a festive backdrop for her gleeful announcement that she was sentencing him to life in prison.
PAGE 5
(Are you ready for News of the Weird Pro Edition? Every Monday at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com and www.WeirdUniverse.net. Other handy addresses: WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, http://www.NewsoftheWeird.com, and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.) COPYRIGHT 2013 CHUCK SHEPHERD DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL UCLICK 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, Mo. 64106
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
NEWS OF THE WEIRD
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
WING NIGHT MONDAY : Starters Pub Wings 50¢ Wings • ½ Price Boneless
s Clubhouse WEDNESDAY : Starter s Wings ½ Price Wings & Boneles 5pm-10pm
se
Monday : Starters Clubhou $2.00 Dozen Clams
TUESDAY : Starters Pub $2.00 Dozen Clams 5pm-11pm
½ Price Burgers too!
Wednesdays, 7:30pm at Starters Pub
Page 6
Fri May 17 – The Dark Matters Sat May 18 – Trouble City Allstars
Kitchen open 11am til Midnight
Open 7 days a week 11am - 2am
(corner of S. 5th St & Emaus Ave)
TRIVIA NIGHT
400 Illicks Mill Rd • Bethlehem (610) 625-0060 www.starters-clubhouse.com
Entertainment This Week:
1996 S. Fifth St Allentown
5pm-10pm
STARTERS CLUBHOUSE GRILLE
610-841-3610
Sunday – Open Mic Night
CLAM NIGHT
&
www.strangebrewtavern.co
Featuring a wide array of domestic, import, micro & craft Brews
5pm-11pm
$7 Sandwiches
24 Taps
Cheesesteaks
STARTERS PUB
3731 Route 378 • Bethlehem (610) 997-5454 www.starterspub.com
strangebrew610
WAT CH A L THE GAM L HER ES E
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
PREVIEW WEEKEND Mike Mettalia and Midnight Shift Fri., May 17 | 7 pm
Rob Stoneback Big Band Sat., May 18 | 7 pm
SEASON OPENS May 24 50 FREE CONCERTS FOR THE COMMUNITY Thursdays-Saturdays | 7 pm | May 24-September 21 May
The Sofa Kings Fri., May 24 Poco & Pure Prairie League Sat., May 25 Lake Street Dive Sun., May 26 The Nighthawks Mon., May 27
Marrakesh Express Thurs., May 30 Girls Guns and Glory Fri., May 31
June
Mountain Heart Sat., June 1
For complete schedule visit levittsteelstacks.org PAGE 7
levittsteelstacks.org
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
CONCERT BEAT
CHAMELEON CLUB, Lancaster, PA TICKETS 717-393-7713
Hollywood Undead w/ Special Guests Falling In Reverse, May 19 Center, May 24 Sam Doom & Friends, May 25 Buzz Chopper, May 31
CROCODILE ROCK, Allentown, PA TICKETS 610-434-4600 Saving Abel, May 17 Maria K, May 29 Great White, Aug 13 Bullet Boys, Aug 15
MAUCH CHUNK OPERA HOUSE, Jim Thorpe, PA TICKETS 570-325-0249
Peek A Boo Revue, May 17 Commander Cody, May 18 Craig Thatcher CD Release, May 19
MOHEGAN SUN ARENA AT CASEY PLAZA, Wilkes Barre, PA TICKETS 570-920-7600 WWE Live, Jul 7
MOUNT AIRY CASINO RESORT, Mount Pocono TICKETS 877-682-4791 Kellie Pickler, Jun 1 Blues Traveler, Jun 21 Brandi Glanville, Jun 22
WELLS FARGO CENTER Philadelphia, PA TICKETS 215-336-3600
The Rolling Stones, Jun 18 Bruno Mars, Jun 24
MUSIKFEST CAFE Bethlehem, PA
Carly Rae Jepsen, Aug 2 Skillet, Aug 4 Frampton’s Guitar Circus, Aug 5 TICKETS 610-332-1300 Styx & Foreigner, Aug 7 The Fabulolus Thunderbirds, May 17 Darius Rucker, Aug 9 Chic Correa, May 22 Ke$ha, Aug 10 Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, May 23 Avenged Sevenfold, Aug 11
TICKETS 212-307-7171 The Killers, May 14 Rod Stewart, Dec 9
SUSQUEHANNA BANK CENTER Camden, NJ TICKETS 877-686-5366
Toby Keith & Kip Moore, Jun 22 Jimmy Buffet, Jun 25 Dave Matthews Band, Jun 28-29 Vans Warped Tour, Jul 12
IRVING PLAZA, New York, NY TICKETS 212-777-6800
BuckCherry, May 23 The Apple Stomp, May 31-Jun 1 The Janoskians, Jun 10-11 Hanson 21st B-Day Show, Jun 17
SANDS EVENT CENTER Bethlehem, PA TICKETS 800-745-3000
Paul Anka, May 18 Motley Crue, May 20 -21 Chicago, May 22 Korn, May 23 BuckCherry, May 24 Weird Al Yankovic, Jun 4 Billy Idol, Jun 9 Willie Nelson, Jun 16 Rock of Ages, Jun 10 Menopause the Musical, Jun 21 Cheech & Chong, Jun 28
Dwight Yoakam, Jul 3 Michael McDonald, Jul 7 Los Lobos, Jul 10 Slash, Jul 16 Tony Bennett, Jul 26 Seth Meyers, Jul 31 Jay Leno, Aug 11 Gabriel Iglesias, Aug 29 Hanson, Sept 2 Sarah Brightman, Sep 22 Steely Dan, Sep 27 Jeff Foxworthy, Sept 28
HERSHEY PARK ARENA, Hershey Park, PA TICKETS 717-534-3911
One Direction, Jul 5, 2013 • Dave Matthews Band, Jul 13
TOYOTA PAVILLION Montage Mountain - Scranton, PA TICKETS (570) 961-9000
SOVEREIGN CENTER, Reading, PA
Dave Matthews Band, May 29 Kid Rock, Jul 6 Rock Star Energy Drink Mayhem Fest, Jul 13 Vans Warped Tour, Jul 16 Uproar Tour: Alice In Chains / Janes Addicition, Aug 9
Alice Cooper/ Marilyn Manson, Jun 18
TICKETS (215) 922-5483
TICKETS 610-898-7200
THE ELECTRIC FACTORY, Philadelphia, PA TICKETS (215) 627-1332 Clutch, May 17 Alkaline Trio, May 23 The Dandy Warhols, Jun 1 Summerland Tour, Jun 20 Rancid, Jun 22 This is Hard Core, Aug 8-11
TROCADERO, Philadelphia, PA
Josh Ritter & The Royal City Band, May 16 Everyother Day/ Could’ve been Kings, May 18 The Darkness, May 21 Vampires Everywhere, May 23 2 Live Crew, May 24 Killswitch Engage, Jun 9
REVERB - Reading, PA 1409 N. 9th St
(610) 743-3069 Barb Wire Dolls, May 22 • Aaron Carter, May 31
KESWICK THEATRE, Glenside, PA TICKETS 215-572-7650
DuDu Fisher, May 29 The B-52’s, Jun 7 The Go-Go’s, Jun 12 Hot Tuna Acoustic, Jun 14
SHERMAN THEATER, Stroudsburg, PA
PENNS PEAK, Jim Thorpe, PA
Dickey Betts, Jun 8 Bullet for my Valentine w/ Halestorm, May 19 Aaron Lewis, Jun 12 Hollywood Undead, May 22 Electric Hot Tuna, Jun 25 Kellie Pickler, Jun 1 Mac Miller, Jul 16 Dropkick Murphy’s, Jun 11 Kansas, Aug 11
Dark Star Orchestra, May 17 Lee Brice, May 30 Skid Row, May 31 Rockapella, Jun 7 Ana Popovic w/ special guest Dana Fuchs, Jun 8
TICKETS 570-420-280 Page 8
MADISON SQUARE GARDEN New York, NY
TICKETS 570-325-0371
Check Out Legendary Rockers Motley Crue Mon & Tues at the Sands Event Center
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
ORIGINAL VOICE OF
JUNE 2ND 8PM TIX $17 ADV / $20 DOS
THIS SUNDAY!
AARON CARTER
PAGE 9
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
CLUBS AND PUBS ALLENTOWN
Jabber Jaws Bar & Grille 1327 Chew St Allentown, PA 610-432-6524
Tilted Kilt 2835 Lehigh St 610-791-2100 Grumpy’s BBQ Roadhouse 3000 Mauch Chunk Rd 610-769-4600 5/17 The Karmic Repair Company 5/18 Hoozya Daddy Rascals Pub & Afterdark Lounge 6616 Ruppsville Rd 610-366-1130 Tuesday Nights: Karaoke w/DJ Troy 5/17 DJ Keith / Red / Reaction 5/18 Tim Harakal / Harkland Pitchers Sports Bar & Grill 570 Union Boulevard 610-841-4001 Friday: Live Entertainment Main Gate 17 W. Liberty Street 610-776-7711 Friday Night: Noche Latina Saturday: Classique 80’s, 90’s music
Strange Brew Tavern 1996 S. Fifth St 610-841-3610 Monday: Pong night Sunday: Open mic 5/17 The Dark Matters 5/18 Trouble City Allstars
Page 10
Roosevelt’s 21st 1328 W. Tilghman St (610) 770-1444 Mon - Fri 1/2 price apps Live Music 4-7 Live Entertainment Tim Harakal / Billy Patrick / Strange Coincidence & More
Jetport Lounge 3400 Airport Rd. Allentown, Pa 610-266-1000 Wednesdays: 6-12am DJ Jimmy K Fridays: Mike Mitman
Sands Bethlehem Molten Lounge 511 E. 3rd Street 484-777-7777 5/15 DJ Johnny B 5/16 Go Go Gadjet 5/17 UUU 5/18 No Where Slow 5/19 Fabulous Grease Band 5/20 Element K 5/12 Tower Suite
BATH
Roosevelt’s 21st 25 E. Elizabeth Ave (610) 266-1950 5/17 DJ Jamal Knight
Cornerstone Pub 506 Penn St 610-837-6670 5/17 Uncle Smiley Band
BETHLEHEM
Bar With No Name 300 Gateway Drive 610-866-5800 Fridays: DJ Cap Cee Saturdays: DJ Trama
MacGrady’s 117 E. Third St 610-868-8925 Wednesday: Baseball Thurday: DJ@10pm Sat: BOGO Burgers Sunday: Football
Funhouse 5 E. Fourth Street 610-868-5311 5/15 Tavern Tan Band 5/16 Paul Knakk Band 5/17 Trouble City 5/18 Southside Film 5/19 Modern Romantz 5/20 Ellyot Ray 5/21 The Vowels Diamondz 1913 W Broad St Bethlehem, Pa 18018 610 865 1028 Monday: Jukebox Thursday: Karaoke Fri & Sat: Dance club/ Karaoke Sunday: Karaoke Bethlehem Brew Works 569 Main St 610-882-1300 Vision Bar @ Sands Event Center 77 Sands Boulevard 610-297-7410 5/17 My Hero Zero 5/18 DJ Cova Tally Ho 205 W. Fourth St 610-865-2591
Godfrey Daniels 7 E. Fourth St 610-867-2390 5/15 Improv Comedy 5/16 Jack Marks 5/17 Kevin Gordon 5/18 Rev Billy C. Wirtz 5/19 Open Mike
UUU 5/16 Molten Lounge Sands Casino & Resort Bethlehem, PA
DJ Jamal Knight 80’s & 90’s Mix 5/17 Roosevelt’s 21st Bethlehem, PA
CATASAQUA
Blue Monkey Sports Restaurant 1092 Howertown Rd 610-266-1550
COOPERSBURG
Tim Harakal 5/18 Rascals Pub Allentown, PA
Silhouettes Showbar & Gentlemen’s Club 111 E. Station Ave (Right off 309) 610-282-8010
BARTONSVILLE
The Pocono Pub Rt. 611, Bartonsville 570-421-5743 Monday: Open Mic Tues, Thurs, Sun: Karaoke 5/15 Coral Maze 5/18 The band “3”
EASTON
Spanky’s East 1700 Butler St 610-559-5170 Tues: Texas Hold Em’ Golf Outing June Drinky’s 3 Centre St Sq 610-252-3800 Wed: Pong Night $100 Fri: Fresh Friday w/DJ Fly & Business Social Porter’s Pub 700 Northampton St. 610-250-6561 5/15 Open Mic 5/16 Ernie Stadler Jazz 5/17 John Kimock w/ Yan Carlos Sanchez 5/18 Uke Jackson’s Big Bottom Band
The Vowels 5/21 Funhouse Pub Bethlehem, PA
MORE ON PAGE 26
Stratus Night Club 1193 Airport Road 610-776-2090 Wednesday: Karaoke 6/1 Rupall Drag Race Roxxxy Andrews
The Brewworks Restaurant & Brewery 812-816 W Hamilton St 610-433-7777 Tuesday: Comedy Wednesday: Trivia Thursday: Karaoke Friday: Office Party Saturday: Guided Tours
in creating that very special Boz Scaggs record. It’s rather interesting and amusing to hear how these musicians continually cross paths where their lives and careers are intertwined.
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
by: Mitch
At the Sands Event Center on Friday, Scaggs and company opened with “Runnin’ Blue”, a rhythm and blues number from his 1971 release, Boz Scaggs and Band. From the new Memphis album, we heard “Dry Spell”, “Mixed Up, Shook Up Girl”, “Gone Baby Gone”, “Rainy Night in Georgia” and “Corrina, Corrina.”
The Wizard of Boz Having had the good fortune of seeing Boz Scaggs perform at Musikfest last year as an esteemed member of the Dukes of September Rhythm Revue with band mates Donald Fagen of Steely Dan and former Doobie Brother, Michael McDonald, it was a foregone conclusion that I’d be at the Sands Bethlehem Event Center this past Friday night to see Scaggs perform with his own band. In effect, it was a bucket list concert that I needed to check off my list as I’ve long admired the guitar and vocal stylings of Boz Scaggs going back to the 1976 multi-platinum Silk Degrees album. The Dukes show last year only whetted my appetite for what was to come at The Sands. William Royce “Boz” Scaggs is one smooth operator. He’s part bluesman, soul brutha, R&B crooner and guitar rocker all rolled into one. His latest album, Memphis, consisting of both originals and covers, was recorded at Willie Mitchell’s Royal Studios in Memphis where artists like Al Green, Chuck Berry and Tina Turner have recorded. Some of the covers on Memphis were chosen as a result of his Dukes collaboration where he, Fagen and McDonald pored over hundreds of potential R&B classics that didn’t make the cut for the Dukes shows but fit very nicely into the Scaggs mold and played to his strengths on guitar and vocal.
Speaking of Toto, it’s also worth noting that members of that band, before it even existed, were studio session musicians employed by Scaggs while recording his most commercially successful record, the aforementioned, Silk Degrees. That studio collaboration is what led to the formation of Toto. David Paich (who co-wrote the hit song “Lowdown” with Scaggs), Jeff and Steve Porcaro and David Hungate of Toto fame, all had a hand
Scaggs’ 1980 hit, “Miss Sun”, provided Ms. Owens a golden opportunity to showcase her golden pipes on backup vocals. They ended the main set with “Lido Shuffle” – a fun rocker with maximum audience participation on the chorus sing-along. That was followed by a well-deserved standing ovation. The encore included “What Can I Say” from Silk Degrees and a cover of Fenton Robinson’s “Loan Me a Dime” from the 1969 album, Boz Scaggs. Boz Scaggs, who turns 69 on June 8, is aging like a fine wine. If a Boz Scaggs show happens to be on your bucket list and you have the opportunity to see the show, I suggest you go. Toto, we’re not in the studio anymore. We’re in the Land of Boz and Boz is the wizard who will serve. Upcoming dates in our area include July 9 at Longwood Gardens in Kennett Square, PA and July 10 at the Mayo Performing Arts Center in Morristown, NJ. Now go…I said GO!!
Mitch has been on the air rockin’ the Lehigh Valley for eighteen years and has been with The Hawk for the last ten years! Tune in weeknights for The Six O’Clock Class Reunion and great classic hits from the 60s through the 90s and on Saturdays for great giveaways including free concert tickets for great area shows! To have your band reviewed please contact me at: mitch999thehawk@gmail.com
PAGE 11
A guy this good has to have a stable of capable players and singers behind him while in the studio and on tour and Scaggs has assembled a fine touring group of musicians and vocalists which includes the “diva-licious” Monet Owens singing backup. Owens has racked up
some impressive touring credentials having sung with Toto, Michael McDonald, Huey Lewis, Kenny Loggins and Queen Latifah. She is the perfect complement to Scaggs’ touring entourage.
I ducked out during a solo to grab a beer but then had to hurry back to my seat so as not to miss “Lowdown.” It would’ve been a dirty lowdown shame to miss that one so no crying over a few spilled drops of beer.
Page 12
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
PAGE 13
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013 Page 14
Just Action Figures
224 Nazareth Pike Suite 8 (2nd Floor) • Bethlehem, PA 18020 • 484-292-1914
• Action Figures Store Hours: • Collectibles Monday - Wednesday • Comics By Appointment Thurs 11-7pm • SideShow Collectibles Dealer Fri & Sat 11-6pm www.justactionfigures.com
ny Off A m t % I 0 1 Store e in
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
VILIFY
DEVICE
DEVICE
THE HANGMAN’S BODY COUNT VOLBEAT OUTLAW GENTLEMEN & SHADY LADIES
I’LL FOLLOW YOU
SHINEDOWN AMARYLIS
BY CROOKED STEPS
PLOT: When an ex-CIA agent living with his estranged daughter finds that his employers have packed up and worst of all erased his entire existence. When he attempts to find out what is going on, he and his daughter find themselves on the run after being marked for termination. REVIEW: Having a solid leading man like Aaron Eckhart is a perfect idea. He is charismatic and fits the part of the reluctant hero incredibly well. It’s just a shame that his latest feature, a conspiracy thriller or sorts, is so painfully dull. When we meet ex-CIA agent Ben Logan, he is working for a company in Belgium where he lives with his teenage daughter Amy (Liana Liberato). She has moved there with her father as the two try and repair an already damaged relationship. When Logan arrives at his work one day after a typical morning, he finds that his entire office has been abandoned. Soon after he comes to the realization that he and his daughter are in serious jeopardy… well, soon may be a stretch for this movie.
SOUNDGARDEN
KING ANIMAL
FROM CAN TO CAN’T
COREY TAYLOR / DAVE GROHL
SOUND CITY SOUNDTRACK
THE HIGH ROAD 3 DAYS GRACE
TRANSIT OF VENUS
STONE
ALICE IN CHAINS
THE DEVIL PUT DINOSAURS HERE
DO ME A FAVOR
STONE SOUR
HOUSE OF GOLD AND BONES PT. 2
ANASTASIA
SLASH / MYLES KENNEDY APOCALYPTIC LOVE
TRENCHES
POP EVIL ONYX
With a script by Arash Amel (currently working on I AM LEGEND 2) ERASED meanders around endlessly. The characters that both Ben and his daughter interact with, whether they help or hinder the duo in their mission retain little to no interest for the viewer. Thus there is not a shred of suspense aside from an entirely small handful of scenes, including one where Logan forcibly attempts to get information from one of the feature’s many useless pawns. Even the bad guys - who are constantly missing their target - generate no real intensity as they are closing in on our heroes. To say that the film is horrible however is not fair to say. Nearly everything about ERASED is sort of decent, albeit forgettable. The performances are fine from most of the cast and it is competently shot, that includes the action-set-pieces. As I made my way through this picture my mind would wander away from the story at hand, yet every so often a moment or two would spark a little interest. This is especially disappointing due to the fact that the final sequence proves that there could have been an exciting little movie here. This is not to say it makes up for what doesn’t work, but most assuredly there was a good story somewhere here that just failed to ignite. The one thing that stood out and had me occasionally invested was Eckhart and Liberato. The two make an incredibly likable pair, especially Liana who is quite capable as a compelling young leading lady. It really is a shame that the two actors didn’t have more to work with. The chemistry between the two radiates a little energy even if the script fails to really explore the characters relationship in any palatable way. Perhaps the problem is that there is so much time spent in order to create some sort of intellectual thriller without really putting much emotion into it. ERASED is a cold and lifeless feature that offers a couple of good performances yet it fails to tell any sort of an intriguing story.
PAGE 15
10
By Jimmy O
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
Movie Review
GINA CRASH’S TOP 10
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
ALBUM REVIEW
By: Scotty Brilliant
Moreno, from the Suicide Hook, was announced as the band’s new frontman. With a steady line-up, for now, Drowning Pool just released their latest effort Resilience last month. This title is a one word metaphor for the band’s entire career. Despite many ups and downs, Drowning Pool’s ability to bounce back is what has kept them from falling apart.
DROWNING POOL R e s i l i e n c e
PAGE 16
Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past decade and a half, then you have probably heard the song “Bodies” by Drowning Pool. It’s a fairly simple song with the chorus screaming out “Let the bodies hit the floor!” Fair warning, if you’re listening to this song at work, it might make you want to punch the guy in the cubicle next to you. What you might not know is that this band is still making music, despite the constant changes that plague the vocalist position. Drowning Pool, whose name was taken from the 1975 movie with the same name, formed back in 1996. Since its formation, the band has consisted of guitarist C.J. Pierce, bassist Stevie Benton and drummer Mike Luce, as well as a revolving cast of vocalists. Their original frontman Dave Williams, who sang “Bodies,” died in 2002, a year after their debut album Sinner was released. After Williams’ death, the band decided to fill the vacant spot with unknown singer, Jason Jones. Drowning Pool released their sophomore album Desensitized in 2004, and then saw the departure of Jones. A year after Jones’ departure, the band recruited former SOiL singer Ryan McCombs. McCombs recorded two albums with the band, Full Circle and Drowning Pool, before leaving to reunite with SOiL. In July 2012, Jasen
And just like Drowning Pool’s career, their new record has many ups and downs. Resilience opens up with “Anytime, Anyplace,” a really intense, fist-clenching anthem for all the tough guy rockers out there. This would be a badass walk-out song for an MMA fight! I was hoping this would set a precedent for the rest of the album, but unfortunately it did not. The next track, “Die For Nothing,” was one of my least favorite songs on the album. Moreno’s vocals sounded very generic and contrived. The only thing saving the song was guitarist, C.J. Pierce’s hooking riff. After struggling through that last track, “One Finger and a Fist” picks things back up again. With the lyrics; “one finger and a fist / I’ll claw my way out of any situation / I got a one, two punch / I’ll fight my way out of any confrontation,” this also sounds the
soundtrack to a cage fight! “Bleed like With You” was my favorite track on the album. This is where Moreno’s vocal abilities truly shined. I am not sure why Drowning Pool decided to name a song “Skip to the End,” because I almost took their advice and skipped to the end of the album. Good thing I didn’t, because then I wouldn’t have heard “In Memory Of,” which was hauntingly reminiscent of an Alice in Chains’ song. And now here are my “Crank It” and “Skip It” picks: Crank It: Anytime, Anyplace • One Finger and a Fist • Life of Misery • Bleed With You Skip It: Die For Nothing • Digging These Holes Understand • Blindfold If you’re the type that likes to compare a band’s new album to their previous ones, then you may find Resilience to be disappointing. Even though Jasen Moreno has potential, his lyrics and vocals sounded very amateur at times. With some practice, touring and band bonding he will only get better with time. Let’s just hope he sticks around long enough for fans to see that happen. Scotty Brilliant is the Afternoon Drive Personality on The Valley’s Real Rock Station, 107 The Bone. Hit Scotty up for a Road Rage or Work Release Friday request, or let him know if there is a new album you want him to review! Find him on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ScottyBrilliant.
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
PAGE 17
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
GRADUATION TIME BY: Tyler Drake
Page 18
Dawn breaks over deviled eggs on silver trays. Some strung-out culinary madman, doubtless up all night, has Pollocked the eggs with such a scattershot squiggling of hollandaise that they could have been crop-dusted by the Flying Dutchman. The approach to paprika slants more to pointillism: dots of dark red, the diameter perhaps constrained by the shaker’s hole size or maybe the spice beads up like water. Either way, an embossed menu card clamped into a chrome holder for such things identifies Hungary as the paprika’s country of origin. The caterer behind the eggs looks close to hell but he’s keeping it together, maybe to nap at nine-thirty or ten after breaking down this opulent spread.
HARD COVER
bar, where they fire a bazooka full of hundreddollar bills at the grateful bar staff, who have filled the sprinkler system with Bollinger Blanc de Noirs Vieilles Vignes Francaises—the 1997 vintage—in anticipation of their (the parents’) reputation for somehow egregious-yet-tasteful excess. Now with the adulation of a rapt crowd of important (foreign dignitaries, celebrities, et cetera) parents and their graduating children, as a final financial sacrifice on the ivory altar of higher education, the parents set fire to a monster pyramid of bankbound top-denomination currency and spit-roast a pterodactyl that their little prodigy cloned from an amber-trapped mosquito for their honors thesis.
University catering must impress its real customers Students harbor more modest hopes. Mostly they thrice each year: when parents of the incoming class wish to avoid embarrassment. They want their drop off the new class of freshmen, during Parents’ parents to buy them a nice meal, give them a Weekend, and over that last great weekend when the few graduation presents, and get out of the way school gives out the pieces of paper its students as they cap off four years of school with an epic have earned through four or five hard years of binge night of drinking and possibly a sexual experience drinking, procrastinating, and cramming at the last with someone they can finally proposition without minute. It is graduation “It is graduation season in the Lehigh Valley, having to see around campus season in the Lehigh and that means the moving of furniture, the afterwards. They hope their Valley, and that means abandonment of messy houses and security parents can somehow dodge the moving of furniture, deposits, hasty last minute relationships where being exposed as middle-class the abandonment of people can circle the bases in a single night” office workers or as philistines messy houses and security deposits, hasty last- or squares, although they wouldn’t use that word, minute relationships where people that don’t or as the source of most of their political opinions. normally do this sort of thing can circle the bases in a single night, nostalgic booze-fests traversing What can the rest of us onlookers expect? For one the bar scenes of entire cities, and a yearly cougar thing, the relative wealth of a few local schools infestation rivaling a Twilight movie-poster signing means that graduation season implies an influx of hot or a youth soccer game in southern California. moms. America’s escalating divorce rate, coupled with the general insensitivity of fathers and various All parents dream of the same graduation weekend. gender asymmetries, means that these rich ladies I will bore you with the details: They enjoy a are often feeling insecure about new mistresses and delightful, intimate picnic lunch—wicker baskets out on the prowl, which is a terrific thing for the bar of grapes, Italian meats, French cheeses—with a scene. Also, fancy restaurants fill up as red-eyed famous professor who waxes hyperbolic about their graduates in rumpled khakis enjoy a nice meal and offspring, the student who will one day surpass introduce their parents to their drinking buddies. the master. They see the fundamental advances in genetics made by their child, which I will return to Here, then, is the final rundown: over the next month in the last sentence of this absurd paragraph. That it will be easier to find a milf but harder to get a evening, they drive a sleek Rolls Royce through the dinner reservation, and after it is over there will be wall of the somehow popular-yet-exclusive campus more parking spots so we’ll all be winners. Cheers.
Overview From David Baldacci--#1 bestselling author and one of the world’s most popular, widely read storytellers--comes the most thrilling novel of the year. THE HIT Will Robie is a master of killing. A highly skilled assassin, Robie is the man the U.S. government calls on to eliminate the worst of the worst-enemies of the state, monsters committed to harming untold numbers of innocent victims. No one else can match Robie’s talents as a hitman...no one, except Jessica Reel. A fellow assassin, equally professional and dangerous, Reel is every bit as lethal as Robie. And now, she’s gone rogue, turning her gun sights on other members of their agency. To stop one of their own, the government looks again to Will Robie. His mission: bring in Reel, dead or alive. Only a killer can catch another killer, they tell him. But as Robie pursues Reel, he quickly finds that there is more to her betrayal than meets the eye. Her attacks on the agency conceal a larger threat, a threat that could send shockwaves through the U.S. government and around the world.
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
PAGE 19
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013 Page 20
ALICE IN CHAINS ROCKS THE SANDS BETHLEHEM EVENT CENTER
PHOTOS BY: SHOWGUN PHOTOGRAPHY
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
also offer pig roasts, BBQ catering and fundraisers for non-profit organizations. Pig Pit also sells our own line of BBQ & wing sauces Beer for the event will be provided by Victory Brewing. Victory Brewing Company opened its doors to the public on Feb. 15, 1996. What was once a Pepperidge Farm factory became home to a 144-seat restaurant, 70-foot-long bar and a full-scale brewery. In its first year, Victory Brewing Company brewed 1,725 barrels of beer. Since then, Victory has increased the size of the restaurant to 300 seats. The brewery has also expanded, producing 93,196 barrels of beer in 2012. As loyal craft beer drinkers continue to show their dedication to flavorful, quality beer, Victory plans to continue its own growth. Onward to Victory! Victory Beer distribution includes 29 states as well as Singapore and Japan. They feature 10 seasonal and specialty beers and growing – Moonglow Weizenbock, Sunrise Weissbier,
Whirlwind Witbier, Old Horizontal, St. Boisterous, St. Victorious, Baltic Thunder, Yakima Glory, Summer Love Ale, Swing Session Saison. The Memorial Day festival also marks the first day Vision Bar will open it’s outdoor patio area, with comfortable seating and lounging options. The FREE festival will begin at noon featuring live music in Vision Bar by local bands FLINTface and A.D.D. Also on site, will be Lehigh Valley Pong Association, where registrants can test their luck at an outdoor pong contest. Aiming for 64 teams that will compete for a VIP prize package that includes luxury suite tickets to an upcoming concert at the SBEC and more! Lehigh Valley Lehigh Valley Pong Association provides the Valley’s only pro-style pong events. Most commonly called beer pong, the game is played with water in the cups so anyone can feel comfortable at an event. All events are free to play.
PAGE 21
The Wailers concert will be the headlining act for an entire day of celebration on May 27th, Memorial Day. As the venue celebrates one year of great entertainment, a FREE outdoor party will take place in the parking lot adjacent Vision Bar and the Event Center Box Office. Featuring a pig roast by Reading based company, The Pig Pit. Pig Pit, a Reading, PA based BBQ company has been serving mouthwatering BBQ to folks in the Greater Reading area since 2003 when the company was founded by local businessman Carl Joyner. Pig Pit proudly features two styles of pulled pork both of which are rubbed with our special blend of seasonings and then smoked over hard woods for hours. Our Eastern Carolina style is prepared with a vinegar based sauce that has a tangy & peppery flavor. Our Georgia style is prepared using a smoky, sweet hickory flavored sauce. We also offer beef brisket, chopped chicken and ribs. Pig Pit provides event concessions for sporting venues, fairs, festivals and other large scale events. We
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
TUESDAY
• 6-10pm 2 / 3 Tacos • 8-10pm Free Play Jukebox • 8-12am Open Pool Table
WEDNESDAY
• 8-10pm Free Play Jukebox • 8-12pm Open Pool Table
BEST WINGS IN THE VALLEY AT THURSDA Y 12-10PM 20¢ wings MONDA Y-FRIDAY 12-3PM • $4.25 Lunch Specials HAPPY HOUR 4-6PM • $2.50 Well Drinks MONDA Y 12-10PM
• Domestic • $2.00 Steamed ClamsDrafts $2.99/2 dozen • Oyster on the half-shell $1.00 ea. DINNERS
Come see the THECoors BESTLight PRICE! Girls!
BlessingSMILEY of the Bikes UNCLE & Riders 5/11 Noon-4pm BAND Blessing by Pastor David Newhart. 5/17 9PM-12AM
• SalmonY Dinner $7.95 TUESDA
• Swai Fish2Dinner $7.95 6-10pm / 3 Tacos • Rack of Ribs 8-10pm Free $9.95 Play Jukebox • Rib Eye Sandwich 8-12am Open Pool$5.95 Table
TRY OUR NEW WEDNESDA Y APPS!
Come see the Coors Light Girls!
• 8-10pm Free Play Jukebox Shrimp Skewers $3.50 • 8-12pm Open Pool$3.50 Table Jalapeño Poppers • Fried Pretzel THURSDA Y $1.50 12-10PM
20¢ wings All Specials In-House Only • Kitchen open until Midnight Fri & Sat • No one under 21 permitted
HAPPY HOUR 4-6PM • $2.50 Well Drinks • $2.00 Domestic Drafts
UNCLE SMILEY BAND 5/17 9PM-12AM
DINNERS
• Salmon Dinner $7.95 • Swai Fish Dinner $7.95 • Rack of Ribs $9.95 • Rib Eye Sandwich $5.95
TRY OUR NEW APPS!
Page 22
• Shrimp Skewers $3.50 • Jalapeño Poppers $3.50 • Fried Pretzel $1.50
5/25 9PM - 12AM
All Specials In-House Only • Kitchen open until Midnight Fri & Sat • No one under 21 permitted
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
THIS WEEKEND THEATER LISTINGS AMC TILGHMAN 8 TILGHMAN SQUARE ALLENTOWN (610) 391-0772
FRANK BANKO ALEHOUSE CINEMAS STEELSTACKS ONE FOUNDERS WAY BETHLEHEM 610-297-7111
BECKY’S DRIVE IN Rt. 248 BERLINSVILLE http://www.beckysdi.com/
MAHONING VALLEY CINEMA CARBON PLAZA MALL LEHIGHTON 610-377-8626 http://mvcinema.com/
CARMIKE 16 1700 CATASAUQUA RD ALLENTOWN 610-264-9624 http://www.carmike.com/
MAHONING DRIVE-IN Rt 443 LEHIGHTON 570-645-6204
CARMIKE PROMENADE & IMAX 2805 CENTER VALLEY PARKWAY SAUCON VALLEY 610-709-8635 CIVIC’S THEATER 514 514 N. 19th St ALLENTOWN EMMAUS THEATER 19 S. FOURTH St 610-965-2878 THE GAP THEATER 47 BROADWAY St 610-863-3094
TOP 10 BOX OFFICE MOVIES
6. Oblivion 7. The Croods 8. The Big Wedding 9. Mud 10. OZ The Great and Powerful
THE ROXY 2004 MAIN ST NORTHAMPTON 610-262-7699 http://roxytheaternorthampton.com/ SHANKWEILER’S DRIVE-IN 4540 SHANKWEILER RD (OFF Rt 309) OREFIELD 610-683-8775 http://www.shankweilers.com/
May 24th, 2013
REGAL NORTHAMPTON 14 3720 EASTON-NAZARETH HIGHWAY (ROUTES 33 & 248) LOWER NAZARETH TOWNSHIP 610-559-7800 READING MOVIES 11 & IMAX 3D 30 N. SECOND ST READING MOVIES 11 & IMAX 3D 610-374-2828
NEW DVD RELEASES
1. Texas Chainsaw 3D 2. Cloud Atlas 3. Back to 1942 4. Glimpse inside the Mind of Charles Swan III 5. Dexter: The Seventh Season
6. Frankie Go Boom 7. Liz & Dick 8. Myth Busters: Collection 9 9. Tomorrow You’re Gone 10. Top Gear 19
PAGE 23
1. Iron Man 3 2. The Great Gatsby 3. Pain & Gain 4. Peeples 5. 42
REGAL POHATACONG CINEMA 12 Rt 22 PHILLIPSBURG, NJ 908-454-7500 http://www.fandango.com/
REGAL RICHLAND CROSSINGS 12 RICHLAND CROSSING QUAKERTOWN 215-536-7700 http://www.fandango.com
Page 24
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
PAGE 25
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
ZODIAC
ARIES (3/21 – 4/19) If you’re looking for excitement this week, you’re gonna be waiting for the weekend -- and creating your own before that may be a dicey situation! Take care of business (at a humane pace) on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Note that you’ve got charm now; no need to try to be too flashy. Then the next couple of days may bring emotional challenges -- it’s up to you to meet them with honesty and maturity, and find the positive path forward instead of, for instance, getting mad or getting even. When the weekend comes, it’s your time to shine.
LIBRA (9/23 - 10/22) Real downtime -- like watching the sunset instead of TV -- does you a world of good on Monday. Then the world’s a better place with you in it over the next couple of days, so get out and have some fun! Especially favored now? Socializing and romance. On Thursday and Friday, though, get back to work. Changes are likely, and you’ll want to be on top of them and well positioned to take advantage of any emerging scenarios. When the weekend comes, your way with sharing your ideas and feelings brings big possibilities in relationships of all kinds. Sweet!
TAURUS (4/20 – 5/20) Think -- and act -- fast on Monday! You can access awesome ideas and enact them now; especially in the romance department! And stay active, physically speaking, over the next couple of days in particular. Moving the body gets the brain going, and if you’re getting outdoors with a friend, even better. (Starlit walks totally count!) Then look out: Around Thursday and Friday, you’ll want what someone else has got. Green’s not the best color for your outlook; do something generous to rosy it up. And what you truly value is highlighted this weekend.
SCORPIO (10/23 - 11/21) Give a little -- or a lot -- on Monday. Doing a good deed or letting someone have their way feels surprisingly great! Then don’t beat yourself up about a decision over the next couple of days. If it’s already made, what’s done is done; if you’re trying to choose, give yourself some wiggle room. Maybe the right choice is just around the corner -- which is totally true if the stars have their say! From Thursday through Saturday, you should be skipping joyfully along your life (and love!) path. Enjoy the present to the fullest extent, but on Sunday, do consider the future.
GEMINI (5/21 – 6/21) Are all those bills and other pesky-but-necessary things in order on Monday? Make sure. You’ll want to devote every free minute over the next couple of days to the fun stuff! Do note that romantic opportunities abound now, but from Thursday through the weekend, you’re gonna need to calm down and look around. Both work and play benefit from the serious application of your attention and insight now. Use that adaptable mind and amazing imagination to see all the angles.
SAGITTARIUS (11/22 - 12/21) Save it on Monday -- the answer you’re looking for (or an even better one) is much more likely to come around Tuesday and Wednesday. Your timing will be better across the board, with both work and more personal relationships looking good. Time alone’s a fine idea now, as long as it’s productive instead of purely escapist. You’ll be happy-go-lucky again when the weekend comes -- free-form fun is favored. Crash a party or create one on the spot!
CANCER (6/22 – 7/22) Get organized and get in touch on Monday, because over the next couple of days, you’ll have your hands full with unexpected issues and differences of opinion. Pay particular attention to your work on Thursday and Friday, especially if anything’s being set in stone. Before you commit, explore your options and advocate for your agenda. When the weekend comes, a getaway or a plan for one is favored. Do it for you!
Page 26
LEO (7/23 - 8/22) While making plans as the week begins, be sure to consider the state of the ol’ wallet. Fun doesn’t have to be fancy, especially with the great outdoors at your disposal -- and with the great energy you’ve got around Tuesday and Wednesday, and then again over the weekend! All of these days are awesome for compatibility -- whether at work or at play -- with the weekend looking especially hot in the love department! On those in-between days -- Thursday and Friday -- go out of your way to consider other points of view in order to keep the good vibes going. VIRGO (8/23 - 9/22) You can really make a splash or make a statement as the week begins -- just make sure you’re really gonna be behind it 100 percent. What does it represent about you and your values? Around Thursday and Friday, it’s time to take some thinking into the abstract realm. Use that imagination -- you can always reel it back in when the time comes to act. And this weekend, give yourself a break: Step away from the computer and step into the outdoors! Mix up your routine with a little adventure, whether it’s an urban hike, a day trip or a getaway.
CAPRICORN (12/22 - 1/19) If you’re looking to make a connection as the week gets going, don’t wait -- you’re clicking with others on Monday, whether it’s at work, at home or at play. Over the next couple of days, however, the responses and results you’re looking for might be elusive. Your star power will return starting Thursday, so make a choice, make a move and make progress that’ll feel fantastic. And when the weekend comes, you’ve got more possibilities than you can possibly imagine. Embrace your world. AQUARIUS (1/20 - 2/18) Have a certain party get specific on Monday -- assuming it’s all good could lead to problems. Then over the next few days, give something or someone a chance that you normally wouldn’t. You might be surprised by how it sparks your imagination or just makes you feel good. Work’s likely less than optimal around Thursday or Friday. And the cosmic energy is much more progressive for you this weekend. Seek out some stimulating stuff and you’ll be entertained and mighty entertaining, too. PISCES (2/19 - 3/20) Your mind’s working overtime on Monday, and what you’re coming up with could ultimately be very useful. Just hold off on the sharing part. Over the next couple of days, what you say will come across much better. Take advantage of room for improvement at work -- and otherwise -- now! Speaking of work, watch it on Thursday and Friday. Approach any deals with a skeptical and thorough eye. And when the weekend comes, the only thing you should take advantage of is an opportunity to do what’s right. You’ll totally know it when you see it.
CLUBS AND PUBS continued HELLERTOWN
Beer Mussels 1214 Main St 610-838-8200 Friday: Leechboy Saturday: Texas Hold’em Sunday: Texas Hold’em
PALMER Charles Chrin Community Ctr 4100 Green Pond Rd
CENTER VALLEY Melt Level 3 2805 Center Valley Parkway 610-798-9000 Fridays DJ Chubby C Saturday DJ Fog (Dan Glatts)
WESCOSVILLE
Krocks Pub 1160 S. Krocks Rd 610-391-0648 Sat: DJ Linx
NORTHAMPTON
The Gin Mill / Main St Music Hall 1750 Main Street 610-262-5486 Wednesday: Karaoke Thursday: Karaoke Hammerhead Lounge 326 Main Street 610-262-6713 Tuesdays: Open Mic w/ Tim Harakal Fridays: DJ Statik 5/25 DJ B-Rad
QUAKERTOWN Big Daddy’s Wagon Wheel Tavern Route 313 & Sternersmill Rd. 215-536-9989 5/17 Neon Fusion
WIND GAP Score Card Sports Bar 130 N. Broadway 610-863-5269 Thursdays : Funtime Karaoke 9:30pm - 1:30am TC Dance Club 6623 Sullivan Trail 610-881-1000 5/18 Social Ballroom/ Latin Swing Dance
READING
Rumorz 220 N. Park Rd 610-374-3200
KUHNSVILLE Kuhnsville Inn 5745 Memorial Rd 610-395-2387 Wed & Fri: Karaoke
MACUNGIE
The Pub On Main 102 E. Main St 610-966-2275 Thursdays: Comedy Night The Longswamp Tavern 20 Gap Road 610-702-3700 5/18 Sticky Frog 5/25 Born Cross-Eyed
OREFIELD
Leather Corner Post 6855 Horeshoe Road 610-395-1782 Tuesday: Trivia w/ DJ Slacker Wednesday: Acoustic Jam Thursday: Open Jam 5/17 the band “3” 5/18 Dr. Jim
CLINTON, NJ Revolution 111 W. Main Street Clinton NJ Inside Holiday Inn
DOYLESTOWN
Puck 1 Printers Alley 215-348-9000 5/17 Countdown to Ectasy 5/18 Undercover Chambers 19 / The Other Side 19 N. Main Ave 215-348-1940 5/17 Rob Creidler / DJ Scrigs 5/18 The Overtones / Scriggs The Farmhouse Tavern 380 N. Main St 215-345-9373 5/17 Fran Webster 5/18 Adam Motto
PENNSBURG
PC Pub Restaurant & Sports Bar 500 Pottstown Ave 215-679-4900 Thur/Fri/Sat: DJ The Perk 501 E. Walnut St. 215-257-8483 Wednesdays: Open Mic Thursdays: Trivia Night Saturday: Karaoke
GOULDSBORO
The Grandview Gentlemens Club Rt 435 570-842-2661 Tuesday: College/Miltary Night 6/5 Amateur Night
STROUDSBURG Sarah Street Grill 550 Quaker Alley 570-424-9120 Wednesday: Open Mic 5/16 Steve McDaniels & Friends 5/17 Marc Von Em Band 5/18 Mystery Fyre 5/19 The Pocono Duo 5/21 Dwntown Jimmy Brown
For entertainment listings email us: thevalleybeat@gmail.com
Check out the Pocono Duo Every Sunday at the Sarah Street Grille in Stroudsburg
• SCALPING • LARGEST SELECTION OF BODY JEWELRY IN THE VALLEY
• IMPLANTS • SURFACE PIERCING • CAUTERY BRANDING
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
“WE ARE THE LEHIGH VALLEY’S ONLY PIERCING AND BODY MODIFICATION STUDIO”
GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE
HERE’S THE DEAL: EVERY 5th PIERCING IS FREE
NOW OPEN SUNDAYS
THE LEHIGH VALLEY’S TATTOO PROFESSIONALS FOR OVER 20 YEARS
PAGE 27
$200 ALL YOU CAN SIT TATTOOS
Page 28
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
PAGE 29
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
THE VALLEY BEAT INDUSTRY MONDAYS WITH
Page 30
AT SOTTO SANTI 10 W. 4th St BETHLEHEM
PAGE 31
800-537-4667
FAMILY OWNED AND OPERATED OVER 20 YEARS WITH EXCEPTIONAL CUSTOMER SERVICE RANKED NUMBER ONE IN THE POCONO’S
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
Page 32
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
MUSIC
Drummer Wanted We are looking for drums to complete a 4 piece rock act. We have a variety of influences . Mike: 610-984-3791 GUITAR LESSONS from touring pro, performing and teaching for over 30 years and has shared the stage with BB King, Les Paul and Robert Cray. 610-360-5462
Trumpet / Bugler Needed To perform 140 Military funerals per year. Primarily between Reading and Allentown. 609-504-9450 Keyboard Player Wanted: play “Classic Hits” from the 60’s 70’s 80’s 90’s. Call Mike: 610-216-5501
EMPLOYMENT GET PAID TO WALK Are you friendly? Do you enjoy talking to people? Get paid to walk around your neighborhood and talk to voters. Get paid same day. Call Kelly @ 610-217-3751 9am-5pm, Mon-Fri.
Email // classifieds@thevalleybeat.com
Call // 9am - 5pm 7 Days a Week(484) 635-2253
EMPLOYMENT
EMPLOYMENT
REAL ESTATE
Driver/Warehouse, seeking dependable delivery drivers for Allentown warehouse. Must have a valid drivers license and clean driving record. Other responsibilities include stocking inventory and preparing orders for shipment. Apply in person. Jacobs Auto Supplies 1532 Sumner Avenue Allentown, PA 18102
Delivery Drivers Wanted The Valley Beat is seeking Drivers for many areas in the Lehigh Valley. Must have own car / ins. Reply to: distribution@thevalleybeat.com
Spacious apartment, just renovated Six rooms, apartment, new kitchen, New decor, all utilities paid, near transportation. $700/month 610-266-7300
Environmental Field Tech The job will entail light demolition and soil remediation. The project will be kicking off within the first week of May and looking for more Hotel Housekeeping qualified personnel moving (Comfort Inn Quakertown) now accepting applications for forward in that same area. Please the position of Room Attendant. call our offices to inquire within is. Weekends are mandatory. No (201) 414-5702. calls please. Reply with resume or employment applications are available and being accepted at RESTAURANT hotel front desk 24 hours a day.
Work with your brain not your back! $750/week. (Allentown and lehigh valley) Quit turning wrenches or working in a factory! call 717-718-4161
BARTENDER/SERVER Upscale Allentown restaurant seeking an experienced bartender/server. Must be able to work full time, weekends,days ,nights, & weekends. Qualified candidates should call 610-737-2183
AUTOMOTIVE
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
//CLASSIFIEDS
The Valley Beat
2000 CHEVROLET MONTE CARLO 3.8L 6CYL, AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION, 133,000 MILES ,TWO TONED LEATHER, RUNS GREAT ! MOONROOF, AC/CD POWER WINDOWS, POWER LOCKS,$5,600.00 / 267-251-4997 3br - 2nd & 3rd Floor (Montgomery County) Apartment Available Downtown Bethlehem. Tenant is 1995 white Acura Integra, 119,000 miles, runs great, responsible for all utilities automatic, all power, sunroof, Security dep. required. Apartment will be available May heat, and dc sports exhaust sway 15th, possibly earlier. $750/ bars. $2,300 obo also looking for month. Please call 610-838-1546 a trade bigger car / 484-6950775 to schedule an appointment. 2br - House for Rent! (Salisbury)One, 2-bedroom house for lease! (Rental rate is $900 per month) Private, off-street parking for tenants. Property is located in a scenic wood area, but close to lot of amenitites! Close to I-78, just off of Emmaus Ave. $900/month For more info call: 610-972-7121
2001 Chevy Blazer 130k miles, automatic - runs and drives great, 4 new tires, new CD player, great motor and trans. $1995 / 484-788-9945 2001 Infinity Q-45 108K GREAT CONDITION, NO check engine light, like new tiger paw tires, Heated And Cooled leather ASKING $4800 / 484-951-0436
TO PLACE AN AD IN OUR NEW CLASSIFIED SECTION CONTACT US TODAY... PERSONALS COMING SOON!!! PAGE 33
Page 34
m o r f s e l i 8m o n i s a C s d San
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
Tropic Health Spa
MONTH!
BRING THIS COUPON TO RECEIVE A FREE TABLESHOWER & SAUNA WITH THE PURCHASE OF ANY SESSION! COUPON EXPIRES 5/31/2013
AT OUR UPSCALE LOCATION
610-530-9000 GRAND OPENING ASIAN BODY MASSAGE • CUTE GIRLS • FREE TABLE SHOWER
LOCATED ACROSS FROM ADULT OUTLET
25min from Bethlehem
#52. RT 611 BARTONSVILLE, PA
570-468-4939
60 MINUTE SESSION FOR $50
Lehigh Valley
Open 7 DAYS 10am - 10pm
Private & Discreet
SPECIAL
AIRPORT RD SOUTH
LEHIGH VALLEY AIRPORT 2MI
Aavalon is located on the corner of Graham & 724 E. Cedar St
aavalon
Available 24/7 Allentown Location 267-516-3265
Pocono Locations
expires 5/31/2013
0.1mi from 0.3mi from Union Blvd Hanover Ave GRAHAM
Call Me Today
CLUB
610-437-9505 wawa
34D-19 Waist 34 Hips 9ff, It Works!
Call Me Today! No Texts / Blocked • Available Wed-Fri 484-294-6900 845-204-8136
MASSAGE BY
Massage by
MATT 610-297-2194
610.820.0210 ARIES SPA
BARBIE
484-201-0931 484-201-0931
•Certified Massage Therapist (Shiatsu, Swedish, Finger Pressure) •Foot Massage •Facial & Skin Care for Men Open 7 Days
$50
with coupon
2 MILES FROM AIRPORT
413 Union Blvd Allentown, PA 18109
3333 HAMILTON BLVD
610.841.7900
•SAUNA •BODY SHAMPOO •HOT TOWEL HOURS 9am - 11pm OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK
10% OFF
WITH COUPON
PAGE 35
OPEN 7 DAYS 9:30am - 10pm
BODY RUB
offer valid with coupon
Ts Blondie
Welcome to the
724 E. CEDAR ST • ALLENTOWN, PA 18109
BIG WOODY’S
APPRECIATION
52 RT 611 NORTH • BARTONSVILLE, PA •18321
Aavalon
U N I O N B LV D
CUSTOMER
7 DAYS 10am-11pm• NOW HIRING 570-421-8900
hess express cvs
MAY IS
RIGHT NEXT TO THE PLAYTIME BOUTIQUE $10 OFF WITH THIS AD
HANOVER AVE
4539 Hamilton Blvd. Rt 222 Allentown, PA Open Daily 11am - 9pm
Hot, Hung Dominant Busty She Doll
E.CEDAR ST
We Are Located At 1410 Main St. Northampton, PA 610-262-9580
dunkin 0.1mi on donuts Union Blvd
Now Hiring
ay! od 4 e T 2-492 ll M 6-95 Ca*82-85
Massage
ALL AMERICAN BODY & MIND
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
H.C.
Ts Khanna Gusher
The Perfect Man Joke A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing… You’re just like Frank!” Passenger: “Who?” Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right, all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.” Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.” Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star – you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy.” Passenger: “Sounds like he was really something special.” Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, could do everything right.” Passenger: “Wow, some guy then.” Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.” Passenger: “An amazing fellow indeed. How did you meet him?” Cabbie: “Well, I never actually met Frank, he died and I married his fuckin’ wife.”
Job Interview A blind man interviews for a job as a quality controller at the local wood mill. The manager calls the blind man into his office and asks him how he expected to do this job since he was blind. The blind man replied he would do it by smell. The manager decides to test him and places a piece of wood in front of him. The manager asks, “What is it without touching it?” The blind man replies, “That’s a good piece of fir.” “Correct,” says the manager, “now try this one.” “That’s a bad piece of willow,” says the blind man. “Correct,” answers the manager. With that, the manager decides to play a trick on the blind man. He get his secretary to lift up her dress and put her crotch in the blind mans face. “I’m confused,” says the blind PAGE 36
man, “Can you turn it around?” The secretary turns around and puts her ass in his face. The blind man says, “Oh, you’re trying to fool me! But I know exactly what kind of wood that is. It’s the shit house door off a tuna boat!”
READ THE DIGITAL EDITION ONLINE AT WWW.THEVALLEYBEAT.COM
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
JOKES
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
PAGE 37
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013 Page 38
NOW AVAILABLE WHERE YOUR BUY BEER
Please Drink Responsibly AllentownBeverage.com
BRITTNEY MICHELLE
JH Photography & Tina Dolin Photography
SEE MORE PHOTOS ONLINE WWW.THEVALLEYBEAT.COM
THE VALLEY BEAT MAY 15, 2013
MODEL BEAT
Age: 21+ Reading, PA What do you do to make $$$. Print, Film, TV & Promotional Model Are you? Single, dating, engaged, or married. Dating How would our readers get to know you or become your friend. FaceBook or Contact My Agent: DonatelliModels.Com. 610-921-0777 Where was your best vacation destination. Mexico, Aruba, St. Maarten & Turks and Caicos What do you do to relax? Listen to music What sports do you watch the most? Baseball and football What is your favorite alcoholic beverage? Angry Orchard What happens to be your worst vice? I’m a shopaholic What is your best feature? Eyes What TV show do you never miss each week? Duck Dynasty, that’s right Jack. What movie would you recommend to our readers? Anything Quentin Tarantino What is at the top of your “Bucket List”. Traveling Are you a Spender or a Saver? Refer to question #8 What have you done in the last year that you would think is news to our readers? Feature role in the film The Wolf of Wall Street in theaters this November What do you sleep in? Whatever works What is the worst pick-up line ever tried on you. Can I buy you a drink? What do want guys to know about sex/ relationships that you wish they knew (but they don’t)!. Listening is key; you’re more likely to get what you want.
PAGE 39
Would you like to be considered for Model of the Week? Contact randy@donatellimodels.com or mickey@donatellimodels.com
MUSIC GREAT ENTERTAINMENT... LIVE coming To iT’s cLosEr THan YoU THinK
PAul AnkA
mötleY crüe
chicAGo
korn With love And deAth
maY 18
maY 20 & 21
maY 22
maY 23
BuckcherrY
With heAvenS BASement And trAcer
“Weird Al” YAnkovic
XFe cAGe WArS 24
VISION BAR
maY 17 mUsic bY
maY 27
maY 29
JUnE 4
JUnE 8
BillY idol
rock oF AGeS
nBc FiGht niGht
Willie nelSon maY 18
JUnE 9
JUnE 10
JUnE 14
JUnE 16
grEaT Upcoming EvEnTs SlASh FeAturinG mYleS kennedY And the conSPirAtorS – JulY 16
menoPAuSe the muSicAl – June 21 AmericA – June 29 dWiGht YoAkAm – JulY 3 michAel mcdonAld – JulY 7 loS loBoS/loS lonelY BoYS/ AleJAndro eScovedo – JulY 10
tonY Bennett – JulY 26 cheech & chonG/WAr – JulY 28 GABriel iGleSiAS – AuGuSt 29
jOIN US BEfORE ANd AfTER ThE ShOw
SArAh BriGhtmAn – SePtemBer 22 SteelY dAn – SePtemBer 27 JeFF FoXWorthY – SePtemBer 28 celtic thunder – octoBer 9 diAnA krAll – octoBer 10
BOX OffICE: 610.297.7400. contact the box office about our Luxury seating. sanDsEvEnTcEnTEr.com Join THE mUsic insiDEr For vaLUabLE prEsaLE inFormaTion /THEsbEc
@THEsbEc
visionbarpa.com