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GUIDE 5 NEWS OF THE WEIRD Weird, but true stories from here and around the globe
8 CONCERT BEAT
THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
THIS WEEK
VOL.1 ISSUE 6ISSUE • OCTOBER 27 - NOV 2, 2010 149. JULY 24 - 30, 2013
Concert listings from many places
10 CLUB & PUBS
We are working on it but need your help please send info
BEAT 11 LOCAL Each week we comment on local or national talent.
12 HOT SHOTS
Maybe we snapped a pic of you, check it out!
TOPCrashSPINS & MOVIE REVIEW 15 Gina from The Bone’s Top 10 Radio Hits. & A movie review 16 Done ALBUM REVIEW by The Bone’s - Scotty Brilliant
HOME BREW 21 KEYSTONE Thienbao Nguyen shows us it’s not the quantity it’s the quality
26 ZODIAC
Your astrology for the week
36 JOKES & COMICS
12 HOT SHOTS 39 MODEL BEAT 39
A few chuckles to get you through the week
MODEL BEAT Last, but certainly not least your model of the week
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by Chuck Shepherd
LEAD STORY - PRIORITIES --At a June hearing, a Philadelphia judge became so exasperated at defendant Robert Williams’ seeming cluelessness about his need to keep his probation appointments that she ordered him to take “etiquette” classes before returning to court. Williams, a rap singer and budding music mogul still under court supervision on gun and drug charges from 2008, cavalierly defended his inability to find time for his probation officer by explaining that he was a busy man, working with seven “artists,” with a demanding travel schedule, and uninhibitedly using social media (creating posts that, allegedly, led to threats against the probation officer). (Williams, of course, was accompanied to court by a several-man entourage.)
IRONIES
LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS
--Not Well-Thought-Out: (1) A 64-year-old man was arrested in Geelong, Australia (near Melbourne) in June after carjacking a 22-year-old woman’s vehicle. He was still on-scene when police arrived, as it took him time to load his walker into the car, along with several bags he had nearby when he decided to commandeer the vehicle. (2) A well-dressed, 5-foot-10 man bailed out of an attempted robbery in May of a New York City Bank of America when, after handing a teller his holdup note, the woman panicked, began screaming “Oh my God!” and ran to the other side of the bank, diving under a counter. According to a witness, the robber stood in silence for a few seconds before fleeing.
FETISHES ON PARADE
--(1) According to Chicago police, Gerardo Perez, 50, broke away while on a tour in May of the Chicago Animal Care and Control Facility because he had been struck with a sexual attraction.
--An atheist “church” in Lake Charles, La., run by lapsed Pentecostal
He was discovered minutes later on his hands and knees beside a pit bull, “appearing to have
Jerry DeWitt, conducts periodic services with many of the trappings
just had sex with the animal,” according to a report on WMAQ-TV. (2) Shaun Orris, 41, was
expected by the pious -- except for the need to believe in a supreme being.
charged with disorderly conduct in Waukesha, Wis., in June after raising a ruckus outside the
Such “churches” (reported The New York Times and Washington Post
Montecito Ristorante Lounge, harassing passersby by loudly expressing his “constitutional
in coincidental stories the same day in June) can help soothe the “bio-
right” to have sex with goats.
logical” needs for survival and avoidance of loneliness by congregational
THE LITIGIOUS SOCIETY
rituals (such as celebrating a sabbath) and in helping find meaning “in
Shower rooms in health clubs are slippery enough, but Marc Moskowitz, 66, cited the one at
something other than (oneself).” For example, atheist Sigfried Gold
the Bally Total Fitness gym on E. 55th St. in New York City as especially dangerous, according
praised a “rigorous prayer routine” (beseeching a “vivid goddess he cre-
to his recent lawsuit to recover expenses for a broken shoulder suffered in a fall. Moskowitz
ated”) in overcoming his weight problem.
claimed that so much gay male sex was occurring in the shower and locker-room area (unsu-
--The business website Quartz reported in June that a popular consumer
pervised by Bally) that he had probably slipped on semen.
item in North Korea’s perhaps-improving economy is the refrigerator, made in China and increasingly available as a reward to stellar performers among civil servants and other elites. The appliances, however, cannot reliably store food because the country’s electric grid is so frequently offline and are mostly just status symbols. One item Quartz says often gets displayed in the refrigerator: books. --War Endangers War Relics: In June, fighting in the Syrian civil war spread to its west, threatening archaeological digs and already recovered artifacts near the ancient city of Hamoukar -- which is the site of history’s earliest known urban warfare (about 5,500 years ago). --Robert Dugan, 47, a full-time patrolman for the Delaware County (Pa.) Park Police, was charged in June with illegally impersonating a police officer. According to authorities in Brookhaven, Pa., Dugan had accosted a woman double-parked outside her home to pressure her into moving the car, but she refused. Dugan allegedly claimed he was an Upland Borough police officer (with authority to write parking citations and make arrests, which he did not actually have).
COMPELLING EXPLANATIONS
Shower rooms in health clubs are slippery enough, but Marc Moskowitz, 66, cited the one at the Bally Total Fitness gym on E. 55th St. in New York City as especially dangerous, according to his recent lawsuit to recover expenses for a broken shoulder suffered in a fall. Moskowitz claimed that so much gay male sex was occurring in the shower and locker-room area (unsupervised by Bally) that he had probably slipped on semen. --In May, former schoolteacher Kathleen Cawthorne, 33, of Rustburg, Va., successfully negotiated a reduction in her 11-year sentence for having sex with an underage student. Cawthorne’s punishment was set at only four months in prison when she presented the judge with a clinical diagnosis of “hypersexuality,” supposedly showing that she had little ability to control her desire to seduce the boy.
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PERSPECTIVE
--Floridians Standing Their Ground: In May, a jury in Tampa decided that Ralph Wald, 70, was not guilty of murdering a 32-year-old man he had shot in the back three times. He said he had caught the man having sex with his wife (successfully claiming that he thought the man was a dangerous intruder in his home). However, Marissa Alexander, 34, of Jacksonville, was sentenced last year to 20 years in prison for “aggravated assault” for merely firing a warning shot during an altercation with her estranged husband. The man, Rico Gray, is a serial domestic abuser and admitted that he was threatening Alexander that night and that she never actually pointed her gun directly at him. However, the judge denied Alexander use of the “stand your ground” defense because she had declined to simply walk away from Gray.
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(Are you ready for News of the Weird Pro Edition? Every Monday at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com and www.WeirdUniverse.net. Other handy addresses: WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.) COPYRIGHT 2013 CHUCK SHEPHERD DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL UCLICK 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, Mo. 64106
THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
NEWS OF THE WEIRD
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“The Ali Forney Center”
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THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
CONCERT BEAT
CHAMELEON CLUB, Lancaster, PA TICKETS 717-393-7713
Toy Soldiers, Jul 26 Black Noise Glow A Party, Jul 27 Imitation #9, Aug 1 The Winery Dogs, Aug 4
TICKETS 212-307-7171 Rod Stewart, Dec 9
CROCODILE ROCK, Allentown, PA TICKETS 610-434-4600
MAUCH CHUNK OPERA HOUSE, Jim Thorpe, PA TICKETS 570-325-0249
Bennie & the Jets, Jul 26 The Vagabond Opera, Jul 27 The Dustbowl Revival, Aug 15
MOHEGAN SUN ARENA AT CASEY PLAZA, Wilkes Barre, PA TICKETS 570-920-7600
MOUNT AIRY CASINO RESORT, Mount Pocono TICKETS 877-682-4791
Thunder from Down Under, Jul 5-Aug 31 Kansas, Aug 11 Jeff Ross, Sep 14
MUSIKFEST / CAFE Bethlehem, PA TICKETS 610-332-1300 Carly Rae Jepsen, Aug 2 One Republic, Aug 3 Skillet, Aug 4
IRVING PLAZA, New York, NY
TICKETS 212-777-6800 Psychadelic Furs, Aug 3 Parachute, Aug 13 Baroness, Aug 14 Adam Ant, Aug 16-17
MAIN GATE, Allentown SOVEREIGN CENTER,PAReading, PA TICKETS TICKETS610-898-7200 610-898-7200
Sevendust, n Manson,Jul Jun2518• SickPuppies, Aug 18
THE ELECTRIC FACTORY, Philadelphia, PA TICKETS (215) 627-1332 Bens Summer Bender, Aug 3 This is Hard Core, Aug 8-11 Dropkick Murphy’s, Aug 21 Fall Out Boy, Sep 8 City and Colour, Sep 18
TICKETS 800-745-3000
Tony Bennett, Jul 26 Anti-Social Comedy Tour, Jul 20 Bad Company, Jul 29 Seth Meyers, Jul 31 Family Feud Live, Aug 2 - 4 (PP’d) Godsmack, Aug 7 Jay Leno, Aug 11 Danzig with Doyle, Aug 13 Abba, Aug 15 The Wanted, Aug 24 Gabriel Iglesias, Aug 29
Hanson, Sep 2 Stone Temple Pilots, Sep 4 Russell Brand, Sep 14 Sarah Brightman, Sep 22 Andrew Dice Clay, Sep 24 Steely Dan, Sep 27 Jeff Foxworthy, Sep 28 Kathy Griffin, Oct 4 Celtic Thunder, Oct 9 Paramore, Nov 11
HERSHEY PARK ARENA, Hershey Park, PA TICKETS 717-534-3911
Matchbox 20 /Goo Goo Dolls, Aug 14
TOYOTA PAVILLION Montage Mountain - Scranton, PA TICKETS (570) 961-9000
Lil’ Wayne, Jul 21 Uproar Tour: Alice In Chains / Janes Addicition, Aug 9 The Peach Festival, Aug 15-18
TROCADERO, Philadelphia, PA TICKETS (215) 922-5483 Summer Slaughter Tour, Aug 4 Sadat, Aug 8 Scott Weiland, Aug 17 DropKick Murphy’s, Aug 21 The Mission UK, Sep 4 Kamelot, Sep 5 Peter Hook & The Light, Sep 14 Atoms For Peace, Sep 24
1409 N. 9th St
Beyonce, Jul 25 Black Sabbath, Aug 10 Frampton’s Guitar Circus, Aug 5 George Thorogood Styx & Foreigner, Aug 7 KC & The Sunshine Band, Aug 8 Darius Rucker, Aug 9 Ke$ha, Aug 10 Avenged Sevenfold, Aug 11
(610) 743-3069 Nine Days, Jul 26 Everytime I Die, Aug 16 Kix, Aug 17 Bam Margera w/ Hed Pe, Aug 23 David Allan Coe, Aug 31
KESWICK THEATRE, Glenside, PA TICKETS 215-572-7650 Buddy Guy, Jul 30 Philadelphia Rock & Blues Fest, Aug 14 Adam Ant, Aug 15 Gad Elmaleh, Sep 12
SHERMAN THEATER, Stroudsburg, PA
PENNS PEAK, Jim Thorpe, PA
Electric Hot Tuna, Jul 25 Kansas, Aug 11 We The Kings, Aug 14 Slapjaw, Aug 16
TICKETS 570-325-0371
TICKETS 570-420-280 Page 8
TICKETS 877-686-5366
SANDS EVENT CENTER Bethlehem, PA
REVERB - Reading, PA
WELLS FARGO CENTER Philadelphia, PA TICKETS 215-336-3600
SUSQUEHANNA BANK CENTER Camden, NJ Bob Dylan, Wilco & My Morning Jacket, Jul 28 Maroon 5, Kelly Clarkson & Rozzi Crane, Aug 7 Gigan Tour, Aug 9 Matchbox Twenty & The Goo Goo Dolls, Aug 11
Great White, Aug 13 Bullet Boys, Aug 15 Upstart Fest, Sep 13 Blood on the Dance Floor, Sep 26
The Eagles, Jul 16 Justin Bieber, Jul 17
MADISON SQUARE GARDEN New York, NY
Mobb Deep, Aug 24 Stroudfest, Aug 31 moe, Sep 29 Misfits, Oct 25
Phil Lesh & Friends, Jul 24 Wine on the Mountain, Jul 27-28 Philadelphia Rock & Blues Fest, Aug 14 Adam Ant, Aug 15
CHECK OUT ELECTRIC HOT TUNA THIS THUSDAY AT THE SHERMAN THEATER IN STROUDSBURG
THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
rs 7 Doo
ON SALE FRIDAY 10 AM
PM
THIS THURSDAY NITE
Maingate Nightclub
Doors 7 PM
448 N. 17th Street, Allentown, PA (610) 776-7711 PAGE 9
Tix for all shows at Ticketmaster.com, Call 800.745.3000, All Ticketmaster Locations & at each venue’s box office VISIT FACEBOOK.COM/SLPCONCERTS OR SLPCONCERTS.NET
THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
CLUBS AND PUBS ALLENTOWN
Jabber Jaws Bar & Grille 1327 Chew St Allentown, PA 610-432-6524
Tilted Kilt 2835 Lehigh St 610-791-2100 Grumpy’s BBQ Roadhouse 3000 Mauch Chunk Rd 610-769-4600 7/26 James Supra 7/27 Common Bond 7/28 Charlie Brown’s Notrorious Groove Rascals Pub & Afterdark Lounge 6616 Ruppsville Rd 610-366-1130 Pitchers Sports Bar & Grill 570 Union Boulevard 610-841-4001 Friday: Live Entertainment Main Gate 17 W. Liberty Street 610-776-7711 Friday Night: Noche Latina Saturday: Classique 80’s, 90’s music
The Brewworks Restaurant & Brewery 812-816 W Hamilton St 610-433-7777 Tuesday: Comedy Wednesday: Trivia Thursday: Karaoke Friday: Office Party Saturday: Guided Tours
BATH
MacGrady’s 117 E. Third St 610-868-8925 Wednesday: Trivia Thursday: DJ@10pm Sat: Acoustic Entertainment
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Jetport Lounge 3400 Airport Rd. Allentown, Pa 610-266-1000 Wednesdays: 6-12am DJ Jimmy K Fridays: Mike Mitman
Bethlehem Brew Works 569 Main St 610-882-1300 Vision Bar @ Sands Event Center 77 Sands Boulevard 610-297-7410 7/26 My Hero Zero 7/27 DJ Adriano Tally Ho 205 W. Fourth St 610-865-2591
My Hero Zero 7/26 Vision Bar Sands Event Center Bethlehem, PA
COOPERSBURG
Silhouettes Showbar & Gentlemen’s Club 111 E. Station Ave (Right off 309) 610-282-8010 Thursdays: Pool Tournament 8pm & Karaoke w/ DJ Shocker 9:30pm
DJ Grooves 7/26 Roosevelt’s 21st Allentown, PA
BARTONSVILLE
The Pocono Pub Rt. 611, Bartonsville 570-421-5743 Monday: Open Mic Tues, Thurs, Sun: Karaoke 7/17 The SC Duo 7/20 Angel Down
EASTON
Spanky’s East 1700 Butler St 610-559-5170 Tues: Texas Hold Em’ Drinky’s 3 Centre St Sq 610-252-3800 7/27 Battle of the Sexes 9/14 Skate Jam Porter’s Pub 700 Northampton St. 610-250-6561 7/24 Irish Jam 7/25 Tiffany & the Skyliners 7/26 Maria Woodford 7/27 Mariko Marimoto
Battle of the Sexes 7/27 Drinky’s Easton, PA
MORE ON PAGE 26
Roosevelt’s 21st 1328 W. Tilghman St (610) 770-1444 Mon - Fri 1/2 price apps Live Music 4-7 Live Entertainment Tim Harakal / Billy Patrick / Strange Coincidence & More 7/26 DJ Grooves
Diamondz 1913 W Broad St Bethlehem, Pa 18018 610 865 1028 Monday: Jukebox Thursday: Karaoke Fri & Sat: Dance club/ Karaoke Sunday: Karaoke
Scott Marsall 7/27 Cornerstone Pub Bath, PA
Roosevelt’s 21st 25 E. Elizabeth Ave (610) 266-1950 1/2 Price Apps Thur DJ Jamal Knight
Cornerstone Pub 506 Penn St 610-837-6670 7/27 Scott Marshall ??Clam Bake Coming! Godfrey Daniels 7 E. Fourth St 610-867-2390 BETHLEHEM 8/27 August Ramble Bar With No Name CATASAQUA 300 Gateway Drive Blue Monkey 610-866-5800 Sports Restaurant Fridays: DJ Cap Cee 1092 Howertown Rd Saturdays: DJ Trama 610-266-1550
Funhouse 5 E. Fourth Street 610-868-5311 7/24 Motorcycles Stratus Night Club 7/25 MXA 1193 Airport Road 7/26 Back To Action 610-776-2090 7/27 Hanna Bros Band Wednesday: Karaoke 7/28 DJ Discreet 7/26 Stratus Goes 7/29 Breeze Platinum Benefit 7/30 Born Crosseyed Strange Brew Tavern 1996 S. Fifth St 610-841-3610 Monday: Pong night Sunday: Open mic 7/26 Mighty Manatees 7/27 Bad Habit
Sands Bethlehem Molten Lounge 511 E. 3rd Street 484-777-7777 7/24 DJ Johnny B 7/25 The Wild Ones 7/26 Life Speed 7/27 Alien Arcade 7/28 Joyous 7/29 Jumper 7/30 Towersuite
THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
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PHOTOS BY: MICHAEL GRIM @
THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
4 E. 4th St • BETHLEHEM, PA • 610-868-1313
www.mollysbethlehem.com
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www.strangebrewtavern.co 610-841-3610
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N. MacArthur Rd. Whitehall
484-788-9042
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
TRENCHES
POP EVIL ONYX
LIFT ME UP W/ ROB HALFORD FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH THE WRONG SIDE OF HEAVEN &
THE RIGHTEOUS SIDE OF HELL, VOL 1
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ALICE IN CHAINS THE DEVIL PUT DINOSAURS HERE
PLOT: Ed (Patrick Wilson) and Lorraine (Vera Farmiga) Warren are demonologists who are called upon to help a family that’s being terrorized by a demonic spirit. Oh yeah, and its “inspired by true events”. Umm hmm. REVIEW: I’ve long been fascinated by Ed and Lorraine Warren. A couple of years ago, I had a job as an overnight operator at an AM radio station that used to run Coast to Coast AM with Art Bell every night. For those of you who don’t know the show, it’s all about paranormal phenomenon, and it’s got a huge cult following that’s so fierce that on nights when the satellite broke down and we had to air re-runs, I’d get flooded with calls by irate local listeners. Ed Warren passed away in 2006, but his wife Lorraine often appeared on the show to discuss the various cases they were involved in, including the infamous Amityville case.
THE HANGMAN’S BODY COUNT VOLBEAT OUTLAW GENTLEMEN & SHADY LADIES
OUT OF TIME W/ CHESTER BENNINGTON
STONE TEMPLE PILOTS
SWERVE CITY
DEFTONES
KOI NO YOKAN
CAME BACK HAUNTED NINE INCH NAILS
HESITATION MARKS
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THERE’S NO GOING BACK SICK PUPPIES CONNECT
I’LL FOLLOW YOU
SHINEDOWN AMARYLIS
I’m definitely skeptical about all the Warrens’ claims, although part of me believes that the devoutly religious Warrens actually believed what they were doing was God’s work. Last year, the Fantasia Film festival played an interesting doc called MY AMITYVILLE HORROR that took a skeptics look at their most famous case. The Warrens are back at Fantasia with THE CONJURING, but being a mainstream Hollywood horror film, it’s anything but skeptical about their claims. Then again, I guess THE CONJURING would be a pretty boring movie if director James Wan didn’t thoroughly invest in the tall tales told by Ed and Lorraine. I have no idea how truthful THE CONJURING is (my bet- not much) but damn if it’s not a terrifically entertaining movie. Hauntings aren’t necessarily a new thing for Wan, having done INSIDIOUS (as well as the upcoming INSIDIOUS PART 2) but if that was a riff on POLTERGEIST, this is more THE AMITYVILLE HORROR by way of THE EXORCIST. More than anything, it’s a love letter to character-driven, seventies horror. For a good half hour, Wan takes his time setting up both The Warrens and the family that’s being terrorized, The Perrons. A working class couple (Ron Livingston & Lili Taylor) heading a family of five children, all of them girls, The Perrons are instantly likable. Taylor especially hasn’t had a role this strong in a while, and towards the end much of the emotional investment the audience will feel in the story will center on her and her relationship with her kids. While INSIDIOUS was mostly scary due to its intensity rather than carnage, with THE CONJURING James Wan’s once again working with an R-rating, although it’s still pretty tame. THE CONJURING really does feel like the kind of horror movie that would have come out in the mid-seventies (the time period this takes place in, so expect lots of garish clothing), and backs up all of its scares with a compelling story, and a lot of technical skill, including a good musical score by Joseph Bishara and creepy photography by DP John Leonetti, who’s been working with Wan since DEAD SILENCE. While I seriously doubt that the events that inspired THE CONJURING were in any way supernatural (although you never know-oooooooh), it can’t be denied that THE CONJURING is a pretty damn good horror movie, and refreshingly free of cheap scares. Hopefully audiences will flock to see this, as it’s a nice departure from the B-level, micro-budget horror movies we usually get. THE CONJURING is a real A-movie, and reminds me of a time when horror movies were taken seriously. Hopefully that time will come again.
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By Chris Bumbray
THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
Movie Review
GINA CRASH’S TOP 10
THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
One of the countries that I have always wanted to visit is Australia. I’d surf off the shore of the North Coast (even though I don’t surf), eat a Pavlova, and hopefully run into Miranda Kerr on a nude beach somewhere. And who doesn’t like the Men at Work song, “Down Under?” Ok, enough with the Australian stereotyping-- let’s focus on the real reason I am talking about Australia. There have been quite a number of famous bands from the “Land Down Under.” The first one that comes to mind is AC/DC. Jet, Midnight Oil, Wolfmother, Silverchair, INXS and the very forgettable Savage Garden are all Aussies as well. One of the newer bands emerging on the American rock scene, even though they’ve been in the game for more than 15 years, is Sick Puppies.
The lead-off track, “Die to Save You,” showcases the dynamic between Shimon and Emma with two trading lead vocal duties throughout the song. Next up is the album’s first single currently
By: Scotty Brilliant By: By:Scotty ScottyBrilliant Brilliant
being played on the Bone, “There’s No Going Back.” This was an excellent choice for a first release and it’s one of my favorite songs on the record. “Gunfight” begins with a solid hooking guitar riff, but transitions into a weird Dr. Seuss-like rhyming verse. The lyrics are actually pretty cool, if you can get past Shimon’s rapping vocals. One of the album’s highlights is “Telling Lies,” a darker track that has Shimon questioning the truth in everything, particularly marriage. The folk rock title track, “Connect,” could easily be mistaken for a new Phillip Phillips tune. “The Trick the Devil Did” is a short, riff driven song about battling your inner demons. “Healing Now” is one of the standout tracks with an inspiring chorus, “When a sky full of tears falls to the Earth / I gotta believe we’re healing now / Now before you give up / before it gets worse / I have to believe we’re healing now.” The album wraps with the haunting ballad, “Under a Very Black
Sky,” which is sung entirely by Emma. Crank It There’s No Going Back Walking Away Telling Lies Healing Now Skip It Gunfight Under a Very Black Sky While some may argue that Sick Puppies are too all over the place with their music, I would say that they have a diverse style that is not found with many of today’s artists. They have the ability to really crank up their aggression and then quickly transition into a mellow ballad. This album is definitely worth checking out if you are a fan of melodic rock. Don’t miss the band playing a Bone show, August 18th, at the Maingate Nightclub in Allentown. Scotty Brilliant is the Afternoon Drive Personality on The Valley’s Real Rock Station, 107 The Bone. Hit Scotty up for a Road Rage or Work Release Friday request, or let him know if there is a new album you want him to review! Find him on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ScottyBrilliant.
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The band was formed by singer/lead guitarist Shimon Moore and bassist Emma Anzai in the music room of Mosman High School in 1997, when they double booked the room and fought over who got to practice. They soon became friends because of their love for Silverchair. They then recruited Chris Mileski to play drums and formally became Sick Puppies. In 2003, when their record label folded and the drummer left, the Puppies decided they needed a fresh start. They posted an ad on Craigslist looking for a drummer, and found their current drummer Mark Goodwin. Together, they’ve released six EPs, four studio albums, and have had numerous singles reach the radio airwaves. Their latest album Connect really shows their diverse musical style.
THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 17, 2013
ALBUM REVIEW ALBUM REVIEW
THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
THE THEVALLEY VALLEYBEAT BEAT JULY JULY10, 24,2013 2013
Hik i n g Fun & Fitness 4 by Camille Capriglione
There is something that stirs the soul about going on a hike. Jogging has its merits, but not everyone enjoys pounding the asphalt. Hiking has its own cadence. Your gait changes at whim so that you can appreciate the outdoors. A hike meanders. Footfalls ebb and flow. You can stop if you want, climb, change paths, look at insects, watch birds, feel the earth, see a stream, hear the wind in the trees and just be with nature. A hike is a walk enhanced. We are fortunate in this area to have many hiking paths available. The Appalachian Trail, which runs from Maine to Georgia, has over 200 miles of trail in Pennsylvania alone, and dozens of marked hiking trails. They range from beginner to advanced. You can stroll along at your own pace or tackle more difficult trails for a terrific cardio workout. There are folks of all ages on the pet-friendly trails. You might run into a hiker who’s making the journey through all fourteen states. Take a moment to chat with these individuals. They probably have interesting stories to tell! Before embarking on a day of hiking, be sure to take proper precautions. Avoid hiking on extremely hot days. Spring and fall are the best seasons for hiking. Stay on marked paths. Be sure to time the hike beforehand, so that you’re not hiking after dark.
Bring water to stay hydrated, as well as healthy snacks, such as trail mix or fruit. Hiking is hard work and your body will need to refuel! Do not eat unfamiliar plants or berries from the trail. Hike with a buddy. If you hike alone, tell someone where you’ll be and bring a GPS if you have one. Most trails will not be within cell phone range. Choose the right trail for your fitness level. Stretch well before starting out. Don’t litter. ‘Take in/take out’ is the rule of good hikers. Bring a small bag for garbage and bring it off the trail when you leave. Binoculars and small cameras are a great idea. Sit on a rock for a while and you may spot an eagle or a tree frog. You might find photo opportunities that surprise you. There normally is a respectful camaraderie on the trails and hiking is a great family outing. Have the kids collect dried leaves. Have them touch a lily pad, or feel the bark of a sapling. Find yourself a walking stick and have fun. Take your sweetheart or take your dog. Let the walk be your panacea. Don’t push yourself. Take as long as you want, or as little. Hiking is invigorating. It can be a solace, a meditation, good exercise or just plain fun!
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Wear a visor or sunglasses and use sunscreen. Wear proper footwear with plenty of support and comfortable, breathable socks. Wear clothing in layers; you can peel some off as you work up a sweat and put clothes back on as you cool off. Wear light-colored clothes so
that ticks are easier to see. Ticks carry Lyme disease, which can be deadly if untreated. Wearing long sleeves and pants is a good way to avoid ticks. Use insect repellent such those containing DEET. Remember to do a thorough search for ticks afterwards (including family pets.) Check every skin surface, plus hair, elbows, backs of knees and under all clothing.
THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
WING NIGHT MONDAY : Starters Pub Wings 60¢ Wings • ½ Price Boneless 5pm-11pm
s Clubhouse WEDNESDAY : Starter s Wings ½ Price Wings & Boneles 5pm-10pm
CLAM NIGHT se Monday : Starters Clubhou $2.50 Dozen Clams 5pm-10pm
TUESDAY : Starters Pub $2.50 Dozen Clams 11am-11pm
½ Price Burgers too!
TRIVIA NIGHT Wednesdays, 7:30pm at Starters Pub
$7 Sandwiches & Cheesesteaks
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STARTERS CLUBHOUSE GRILLE 400 Illicks Mill Rd • Bethlehem (610) 625-0060 www.starters-clubhouse.com
STARTERS PUB
3731 Route 378 • Bethlehem (610) 997-5454 www.starterspub.com
THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
THIS WEEKEND THEATER LISTINGS AMC TILGHMAN 8 TILGHMAN SQUARE ALLENTOWN (610) 391-0772
FRANK BANKO ALEHOUSE CINEMAS STEELSTACKS ONE FOUNDERS WAY BETHLEHEM 610-297-7111
BECKY’S DRIVE IN Rt. 248 BERLINSVILLE http://www.beckysdi.com/
MAHONING VALLEY CINEMA CARBON PLAZA MALL LEHIGHTON 610-377-8626 http://mvcinema.com/
CARMIKE 16 1700 CATASAUQUA RD ALLENTOWN 610-264-9624 http://www.carmike.com/
MAHONING DRIVE-IN Rt 443 LEHIGHTON 570-645-6204
CARMIKE PROMENADE & IMAX 2805 CENTER VALLEY PARKWAY SAUCON VALLEY 610-709-8635 CIVIC’S THEATER 514 514 N. 19th St ALLENTOWN EMMAUS THEATER 19 S. FOURTH St 610-965-2878 THE GAP THEATER 47 BROADWAY St 610-863-3094
TOP 10 BOX OFFICE MOVIES
6. Pacific Rim 7. R.I.P.D. 8. The Heat 9. World War Z 10. Monsters University
1. Trance 2. Ginger & Rosa 3. Starbuck 4. Graceland 5. Kiss the Damned
THE ROXY 2004 MAIN ST NORTHAMPTON 610-262-7699 http://roxytheaternorthampton.com/ SHANKWEILER’S DRIVE-IN 4540 SHANKWEILER RD (OFF Rt 309) OREFIELD 610-683-8775 http://www.shankweilers.com/
August 2nd, 2013
REGAL NORTHAMPTON 14 3720 EASTON-NAZARETH HIGHWAY (ROUTES 33 & 248) LOWER NAZARETH TOWNSHIP 610-559-7800 READING MOVIES 11 & IMAX 3D 30 N. SECOND ST READING MOVIES 11 & IMAX 3D 610-374-2828
NEW DVD RELEASES
6. Pieta 7. Welcome to the Punch 8. Detour 9. Love & Honor 10. Vehicle 19
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1. The Conjuring 2. Despicable Me 2 3. Turbo 4. Grown Ups 2 5. Red 2
Courtesy of Twentieth Century Fox
REGAL POHATACONG CINEMA 12 Rt 22 PHILLIPSBURG, NJ 908-454-7500 http://www.fandango.com/
REGAL RICHLAND CROSSINGS 12 RICHLAND CROSSING QUAKERTOWN 215-536-7700 http://www.fandango.com
THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
KEYSTONE HOME BREW
\\ Haircuts \\ Colors \\ Nails \\ Facial
BY: Thienbao Nguyen
Waxing
There is no more beautiful time in a woman’s life than the moment that she becomes a mother, or at least that is what I’m told awaits Kate Middleton, wife of a Prince William, Duchess of Cambridge, frilly hat aficionado, sister to celebrated-butt owner, and bearer of the moment’s most famous baby bump. Pleasant. What awaits William however is a strong clap on the back and a stout in the hand. Having never had either experience myself, this doesn’t sound half-bad either.
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Being without a for-the-rest-of-your-life altering events on the horizon. It is still summer. So for the rest of us, across the pond, that means we are due a good beer or two as well, and if you are anything like me, what automatically counts as a good beer is a free beer, barring that, cheap beer. However cheap is not free and I am not willing to drink goat’s piss and sacrifice quality for the dollar thus enters the home brew.
now carries). Wandering the shelves, I could see that he was right. On one shelf, I found at least 12 different types of just liquid malt extract from countries like Germany, Australia the UK, several different bags of dried malt, pellet hops, leaf hops, an assortment of fruit purees, honey, cacao nibs etc. As well as a whole shelf of kits that, I was later informed, are assembled by Keystone staff themselves comprising recipes that are their personal favorites. Keystone also obviously carries all the necessary equipment for beer making and not just for beer, but for wine as well.
All of this is well and good, but as a complete novice, the real reason that I was at Keystone was the home brew class. Our instructor was Jeremy, who looked like lanky the overgrown boys I remember from highschool so I was immediately suspicious, but in about two hours of brewing and drinking with my fellow classmates, my initial fears were allayed. Jeremy was knowledgeable and helpful. My classmates and Under Prohibition in the United States home brewing I were given a packet of useful information that led was an illegal activity, (which as of July 1st of this us through the whole home brew process, which year was finally legalized ”However cheap is not free and I seemed to (pardon the pun) boil in all 50 states) since am not willing to drink goat’s piss down to: brew, ferment, bottle, then, home brewing has and sacrifice quality for the dollar carbonate. The environment really taken off. The Home was casual. My classmates and thus enters the home brew.” Brew Association of America cites 20 percent growth I watched, participated and drank down a generous in less than a decade and the Lehigh Valley has been jug of beer and I left with a warm glow, partially no exception. Located in Bethlehem, Keystone Home alcohol induced and partially from a sense that Brew Supplies is one of the Valley’s answers to the home brewing was something that I too could do. growing home brew trend. Once relegated to the basement of the Commons beneath The Brew Works In total, from initial brew to initial drink, home (a local favorite microbrewery) Keystone recently brewing is about a two-month process, but in the moved to its new more visible location on Third words of my wise brew instructor “We don’t make St. about two months ago and is set for a Grand beer. We make wort. Yeast make beer” which means Opening on July 27th. At Keystone the experienced that most of the process is just waiting for the magic as well as the novice can find pretty much anything to happen. So to conclude, months of anticipation they want to craft that perfect homemade beer. have lead to this. The world waits for their facebook homepage to update with a Yahoo! Trending article Upon entering Keystone I was immediately greeted informing them of the birth of a new British by Josh and Jeremy. Josh explained the history of monarch and a burgeoning population of Valley Keystone (founded nine years ago in Bethlehem, the residents wait for something, perhaps not as earth recent move, the larger location, and generally the shaking, but more personally satisfying. Cheers! greater volume and supply of product that the shop
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THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
ZODIAC
ARIES (3/21 – 4/19) Patience really is a virtue, so allow for extra time -- for others and yourself. A new project or person likely entices you now -- explore! Following through on plans and commitments is key at the end of the workweek, on both an occupational and personal level. Show you’ve got a good attention span and demonstrate how rock-solid you can be. When the weekend comes, someone’s ready and willing to help you out -- or maybe indulge your every whim! TAURUS (4/20 – 5/20) Keep an open mind and open heart -- and keep those eyes open, too. Then, are you ready for a little romantic enlightenment? Watch for that over the next few days, and again, be ready to give new ideas, people and situations more than a fair chance. Be generous! From Thursday evening through most of the weekend, love just isn’t as straightforward (or perhaps one person isn’t as straightforward) as you’d like. On Sunday, though, the understanding you seek is much, much closer. Reach out for it.
GEMINI (5/21 – 6/21) Be ready and willing to help -- offering without being asked earns you extra cosmic credit. Use that nimble mind of yours to understand where someone else is coming from. Some serious communication is required at the end of the workweek, whether at work or in a romantic context (or, likely, both). Share your honest, considered assessment and ask that others do the same. This weekend, you’ll like a lecture or a game -- something to get those mental wheels turning -- more than just partying or hanging out.
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CANCER (6/22 – 7/22) Beware of biting off more than you can chew; Projects have hidden angles, and people may have hidden missions. A little socializing goes a long way; be sure to plan time to get together with a certain someone to bond. Work may present a challenge or two on Thursday and Friday. Your trademark tenacity helps you find good solutions -- and new opportunities to boot. When the weekend comes, some downtime’s definitely in order. Keep your plans open-ended, as something (or someone!) great may come up at the last minute.
LIBRA (9/23 - 10/22) Fair’s fair, but be sure to look out for number one especially in a work context. Asking more questions across the board shows you care -- and makes you look smart. Examine any and all situations (using your trademark diplomacy as needed). Bonus: Responses are very positive now. You’ll want to heed any funny feelings around Thursday and Friday. Look for personal patterns, and avoid having to revisit old lessons. When the weekend comes, it may be lessons in love that are in store for you -- and learning’s never been so fun. SCORPIO (10/23 - 11/21) If you get your heart too set on something, you may not be able to see things as they are. For the next couple of days, you’re a real people-person, and relationships of all kinds -- work, friendly, more-than-friendly! -- stand to benefit from your intense attention. Talking about anything and everything equals more fun and more depth, too. Beware of a stubborn streak around Friday and Saturday. Love takes compromises, flexibility and wiggle room. On Sunday, though, the stars are sending some simply gorgeous energy your way. SAGITTARIUS (11/22 - 12/21) You may not be at your most alert, but rest assured that your mind’s still working away. Show self-confidence and you’ll earn bonus points at work; show your affection in your personal life and you’ll make friendships (and more-than-friendships!) flourish. At the end of the workweek, the more original the idea, the better -- and no one’s more capable of inventing (and reinventing) than you. Let your individuality play a part in all areas of life, and let it carry you through an inspiring, creative weekend. Something amazing may happen ‘by chance’ now.
CLUBS AND PUBS continued HELLERTOWN
Beer Mussels 1214 Main St 610-838-8200 Friday: Leechboy Saturday: Texas Hold’em Sunday: Texas Hold’em
PALMER Charles Chrin Community Ctr 4100 Green Pond Rd 7/27 King Henry & The Showmen
CENTER VALLEY Melt Level 3 2805 Center Valley Parkway 610-798-9000 Fridays DJ Chubby C Saturday DJ Fog (Dan Glatts)
QUAKERTOWN Big Daddy’s Wagon Wheel Tavern Route 313 & Sternersmill Rd. 215-536-9989 Wednesdays: Scott & Wade
WIND GAP Score Card Sports Bar 130 N. Broadway 610-863-5269 Thursdays : Funtime Karaoke 9:30pm - 1:30am
CAPRICORN (12/22 - 1/19) You’ll get by a lot better with a little help from a friend or a co-worker. Don’t be too proud to ask! Show those who think you’re all about material things your deeper, more philosophical side. It may very well be the thought that counts now -- and you’ve got to share it. Thursday, Friday and Saturday are stellar if the cosmos has its say. You’ll have all sorts of positive, passionate energy coming your way to get all sorts of things done -- in work, at home, in love! But be frugal on Saturday and Sunday. You’ll soon see why that’s necessary.
TC Dance Club 6623 Sullivan Trail 610-881-1000
LEO (7/23 - 8/22) Finding a little more information or asking more questions gets you far. You’re on fire in more ways than one -- boldly speaking your mind, making sparks fly and looking hot in the romantic department. Don’t wait to make a move or make a date! Consider toning down that proactive approach at the end of the workweek, though, in both your personal life and at work. Say less, and listen carefully. When the weekend comes, a relationship requires flexibility and finesse, plus give and take. You’ll make it look easy.
AQUARIUS (1/20 - 2/18) Put your head together with someone else’s, shake well and see what happens. It could be a heart-to-heart or a bunch of sparks flying! The next couple of days could be mystifying, unsettling or just plain tiring. The best plan is to take quality care of yourself and carve out quality time with those you care for, too. And just you wait -- from Thursday evening through most of the weekend, everything about you is given a certain sparkle by the stars. If love’s on your mind, now’s the time! On Sunday, what you want can become crystal clear.
Kuhnsville Inn 5745 Memorial Rd 610-395-2387 Wed & Fri: Karaoke
VIRGO (8/23 - 9/22) Manage your expectations accordingly. Around Tuesday and Wednesday, the stars have a special assignment for you, if you’re ready to accept it: Let life get messy. Lose (a little!) control. Take a risk. Be daring. Expanding your heart and mind brings beautiful stuff into your life, including, perhaps, some of the romantic variety around Thursday, Friday or Saturday. Working on a relationship, on yourself or on an issue pays off now. Then, starting Saturday or Sunday, a reorganization of some sort is in order. Have fun with it!
PISCES (2/19 - 3/20) What you do on principle makes all the difference stick to your values and beliefs. Doing the right thing -- and treating those around you right, as you always do -- merits rewards. Keep in mind: This might involve treating your boss, your mom or another authority figure with kid gloves. Then, on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, you’re unusually practical -you’re the one with the great solution at work or the most fun social plan. Of course, you’re ever aware of the interpersonal element as well. Sunday finds you dreamy -- plan to relax and unwind.
READING Rumorz 220 N. Park Rd 610-374-3200
KUHNSVILLE
WESCOSVILLE
Krocks Pub 1160 S. Krocks Rd 610-391-0648 Sat: DJ Linx
NORTHAMPTON
The Gin Mill / Main St Music Hall 1750 Main Street 610-262-5486 Wednesday: Karaoke Thursday: Karaoke Argus, Freedoms Reign, Sinister Realm, Mindmaze & Infernal Opera - Doors 7Pm Hammerhead Lounge 326 Main Street 610-262-6713 Tuesdays: Open Mic w/ Tim Harakal Thursdays: DJ B-Rad Fridays: DJ Statik 7/20 Tim Harakal 7/27 Mike & Dan Acoustic
MACUNGIE
The Pub On Main 102 E. Main St 610-966-2275 Thursdays: Comedy Night The Longswamp Tavern 20 Gap Road 610-702-3700 7/27 Gail Force 8/3 Burnt Orange Trio
OREFIELD
Leather Corner Post 6855 Horeshoe Road 610-395-1782 Tuesday: Trivia w/ DJ Slacker Wednesday: Acoustic Jam Thursday: Open Jam 7/26 That Being Said 7/27 James Supra Band
CLINTON, NJ
Revolution 111 W. Main Street Clinton NJ Inside Holiday Inn
DOYLESTOWN
Puck 1 Printers Alley 215-348-9000 7/25 Lawn Boys Comedy 7/26 Pete Donelly 7/27 Find Vienna Chambers 19 / The Other Side 19 N. Main Ave 215-348-1940 7/25 DJ Tribble 7/26 Mike Brill / Scriggs 7/27 Soul Custody / Scriggs The Farmhouse Tavern 380 N. Main St 215-345-9373 7/26 Jeff Lohan 7/28 King Brothers-2pm
PENNSBURG PC Pub Restaurant & Sports Bar 500 Pottstown Ave 215-679-4900 Thur/Fri/Sat: DJ The Perk 501 E. Walnut St. 215-257-8483 Wednesdays: Open Mic Thursdays: Trivia Night Saturday: Karaoke
GOULDSBORO
The Grandview Gentlemens Club Rt 435 570-842-2661 Tuesday: College/Miltary Night 8/7 Amateur Night
STROUDSBURG Sarah Street Grill 550 Quaker Alley 570-424-9120 Wednesday: Open Mic 7/25 Len Mooney & Friends 7/26 Sledghammer of Silence 7/27 George Wesley Band 7/28 The Pocono Duo
For entertainment listings email us: thevalleybeat@gmail.com
Check out The George Wesley Band This Saturday at the Sarah Street Grill in Stroudsburg
THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
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a t e n l o l i D
610-921-0777 TV, Major Motion 156 Madison Ave, Picture Films, Print and Promotional www.donatellimodels.com Reading Pa
THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
MUSIC
Drummer Wanted We are looking for drums to complete a 4 piece rock act. We have a variety of influences . Mike: 610-984-3791
GUITAR LESSONS from touring pro, performing and teaching for over 30 years and has shared the stage with BB King, Les Paul and Robert Cray. 610-360-5462 Trumpet / Bugler Needed To perform 140 Military funerals per year. Primarily between Reading and Allentown. 609-504-9450 Keyboard Player Wanted: play “Classic Hits” from the 60’s 70’s 80’s 90’s. Call Mike: 610-216-5501
EMPLOYMENT A Reliable Cleaning Person needed Monday thru Friday P/T for several locations in Allentown. Evenings after 5PM. Own Transportation a must. No Criminal record. We do check. Call 610-837-8999
Email // classifieds@thevalleybeat.com
Call // 9am - 5pm 7 Days a Week(484) 635-2253
EMPLOYMENT
EMPLOYMENT
REAL ESTATE
AUTOMOTIVE
Reliable Lot Person Needed to keep cars and lot clean. This is a full time position that requires some Saturdays. You must have a PA Drivers License and you must have your own transportation to get to work. If you are afraid of hard work please don’t apply if you are ready to work, please call Mr. C at 484-707-1516.
Delivery Drivers Wanted The Valley Beat is seeking Drivers for many areas in the Lehigh Valley. Must have own car / ins. Reply to: distribution@thevalleybeat.com
Spacious apartment, just renovated Six rooms, apartment, new kitchen, New decor, all utilities paid, near transportation. $700/month 610-266-7300
2000 CHEVROLET MONTE CARLO 3.8L 6CYL, AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION, 133,000 MILES ,TWO TONED LEATHER, RUNS GREAT ! MOONROOF, AC/CD POWER WINDOWS, POWER LOCKS,$5,600.00 / 267-251-4997 (Montgomery County)
Coopersburg- Rooms For Rent Weekly or Monthly. Cable Utilities and wifi included. Single & Double Occupancy. $80/week and up. Clean Private. 610-282-8010
1995 white Acura Integra, 119,000 miles, runs great, automatic, all power, sunroof, heat, and dc sports exhaust sway bars. $2,300 obo also looking for a trade bigger car / 484-6950775
2br - House for Rent! (Salisbury)One, 2-bedroom house for lease! (Rental rate is $900 per month) Private, off-street parking for tenants. Property is located in a scenic BARTENDER Roosevelt’s 21st is looking to wood area, but close to lot of amenitites! Close to I-78, just off hire experienced bartenders. of Emmaus Ave. $900/month 1328 West Tilghman St, For more info call: 610-972-7121 Allentown, PA 21 East Elizabeth Ave, Bethlehem, PA Send resume or apply in person at either location.
2001 Chevy Blazer 130k miles, automatic - runs and drives great, 4 new tires, new CD player, great motor and trans. $1995 / 484-788-9945
APPLY TODAY START TOMORROW!!! Leading Distribution Company is seeking experienced Sit down forklift operators. • Selecting / Order Picking Hotel Housekeeping • must be able to lift 50lbs. (Comfort Inn Quakertown) now accepting applications for • Pre-Employment Check / Drug the position of Room Attendant. • Screening Required is. Weekends are mandatory. No 941 Marcon Blvd Suite 101 Allentown, Pa 18018 calls please. Reply with resume 610-264-1200 or employment applications are available and being accepted at RESTAURANT hotel front desk 24 hours a day. Massage Therapist Seeking Massage Therapists Experience Preferred Call 610-262-9580
THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
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Marriage Fairy A couple had been married for 25 years and was celebrating the husband’s 60th birthday. During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each. The wife said, “We’ve been so poor all these years, and I’ve never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world.” The fairy waved her wand and POOF! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband’s turn. He paused for a moment, and then said, “Well, I’d like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me.”
The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90. Unique Marriage Counseling After just a few years of marriage filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other’s throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw.
When they arrived at the counsellor’s office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion. “What seems to be the problem?” Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say. In contrast, the wife began talking 90 miles an hour, describing all the wrongs within their marriage. After 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately and sat her back down. Afterwards, the wife sat speechless. The marriage counselor looked over at the husband, who stared in disbelief. The counselor said to the husband, “Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!” The husband scratched his head and replied, “I can have her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays.” Boob Jokes Q: What do toys and boobs have in common? A: They were both originally made for kids, but dad ends up playing with them! Q: What did saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? A: “If we don’t get some support here people are going to think were nuts.” Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn’t? A: Her navel. Q: What did one boob say to the other boob? A: You’re my breast friend. Q: Why was the mermaid wearing sea shells? A: Her boobs were too big for B shells.
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Q: Why did God give women boobs and nipples? A: To make suckers out of men! Q: Why is a push up bra like a bag of chips? A: You open it and its half empty
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JOKES
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THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 24, 2013
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Would you like to be considered for Model of the Week? Contact randy@donatellimodels.com or mickey@donatellimodels.com
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What do you do to make $$? Certified Court interpreter, TV, FILM, Print & Promotional Model. Are you? Single, dating, engaged, or married? Single. How would our readers get to know you or become your friend? Contact My Agent: Randy@DonatelliModels.Com. 610-921-5582-- Ask for Randy! Where was your best vacation destination? Monaco & Monte Carlo. What do you do to relax? Wash My Hair. What sports do you watch the most? Tennis. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage? Buttery Nipple. What happens to be your worst vice? My Spanish Temper. What is your best feature? My Accent. What TV show do you never miss each week? Modern Family. What movie would you recommend to our readers? The Notebook. What is at the top of your “Bucket List?” Visit My Family in Spain. Name 3 People important in your life? Dad, Sister and Boyfriend. What have you done in the last year that you would think is news to our readers? Getting my Masters in law. What do you sleep in? Naked :)) What is the worst pick-up line ever tried on you? You just went to the top of my to do list!. What do you want guys to know about sex/ relationships that you wish they knew (but they don’t)!? Patients, I love to be spoiled!
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