Issue 161 october 16, 2013

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THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

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GUIDE 5 NEWS OF THE WEIRD Weird, but true stories from here and around the globe

8 CONCERT BEAT Concert listings from many places

THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

THIS WEEK

VOL.1 ISSUE 6 •161. OCTOBER 27 - NOV 2, 2010 ISSUE OCTOBER 16 - 22, 2013

10 CLUB & PUBS

We are working on it but need your help please send info

BEAT 11 LOCAL Each week we comment on local or national talent.

12 HOT SHOTS

Maybe we snapped a pic of you, check it out!

ALBUM REVIEW 16 Done by The Bone’s - Scotty Brilliant

TOPCrashSPINS & MOVIE REVIEW 17 Gina from The Bone’s Top 10 Radio Hits. & A movie review SYKA 21 MEET Camille Capriglione interviews Rock Metal Queen 31 BETTER NOT LOUDER Elle Spaulding compares & contrasts audio

32 ZODIAC

Your astrology for the week

12 HOT SHOTS 47 MODEL BEAT 47

44 JOKES & COMICS A few chuckles to get you through the week

MODEL BEAT Last, but certainly not least your model of the week

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THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013


by Chuck Shepherd

LEAD STORY - HAUTE COUTURE

UNBELIEVABLE

A few still-primitive cultures inexplicably celebrate such female adornments as the stacking of metal neck rings and the inserting of saucer-size disks into pierced earlobes. For “civilized” society, there is the annual Paris Fashion Week in September, when renowned designers outfit brave, otherwise-gorgeous models in grotesque clothing. Among the ensembles witnessed by a New York Times critic this year: a hat resembling steroid-enhanced stalks of peas; a shoe appearing to sprout twig-studs; “a flexible cage covered in doughnuts of black satin”; and a pillow clutch with (for some reason) its own porthole.

--- The Raelian sect initially made News of the Weird in 1998 when “Bishop” Brigitte

UPDATES

London’s The Guardian, in an August dispatch from the surgeon’s San Francisco clinic,

--- At Hong Kong’s traditional “Hungry Ghost” festival in August, in which people burn fake money on top of ancestors’ graves to support their afterlife styles, a weaker economy and inflation seem to have upped the ante for the gifts. An August Wall Street Journal dispatch noted that the denominations of burnable “currency” sold in stores have appreciated, including one “valued” at one trillion Hong Kong dollars (US$130 billion). (Some festival-goers asked, sensibly, about how the ancestor could expect change from such a bill if he needed to make a small afterlife purchase.) -- The family of the great Native American Olympic athlete and Oklahoma native Jim Thorpe (1888-1953) was so disappointed that the then-governor of Oklahoma would not properly honor Thorpe on his death that one faction of his family moved the body to Pennsylvania, where he had no discernible ties but where municipal officials eagerly offered to name a town after him. Since then, Jim Thorpe, Pa. (current population, 4,800), has withstood legal challenges seeking to return the body to Oklahoma, including a recent federal court decision upholding the entire town as a Native American “museum.” One grandson said that Thorpe spoke to him at a sweat lodge in Texas in 2010, telling him to leave the body in Jim Thorpe, with “no more pain created in my name.” -- Anthony Alleyne appeared in News of the Weird in 2003 for turning his Hinckley, England, home into a replica of the command center of Star Trek’s starship Enterprise (including transporter control, warp core drive, infinity mirror, etc.). When he later tried to sell it, he learned that, somehow, potential buyers failed to value the house as much as Alleyne imagined.

COSTLY MEDICINE ---- Patients with gargantuan tumors, but intimidated by the cost of treatment, create the possibility that by the time they can afford an operation, the tumor itself will be heavier than the post-surgery patient. A 63-year-old man in Bakersfield, Calif., finally had surgery in August, after 14 years’ waiting during which his set of tumors grew to 200 pounds. Bakersfield surgeon Vip Dev noted that the sprawled tumors dragged the floor when the man sat and that the surgery was complicated by the patient’s shape, which could not be accommodated by the hospital’s MRI and CT scan machines.

twins. Raelian’s core belief is that humanity descended from extraterrestrials arriving on spaceships whose inhabitants explained to Raelian founder Claude Vorilhon that life’s purpose is to experience sexual pleasure. Recently, a Raelian “priestess,” Nadine Gary, has turned the sect’s attention to counseling victims of the anti-pleasure female genital mutilation, which, though horrifyingly painful, remains traditional among some African societies, and enlisted a prominent U.S. surgeon to undo the procedure, pro bono. Wrote “(J)ust 12 minutes of delicate scalpel work (to restore the clitoris) removes a lifetime of discomfort.”

TOILET PEEPING --Men who set up underneath the seats in public outhouses (sometimes wearing a raincoat) and wait for a user to answer nature’s call. In August, Kenneth Enlow, 52, pleaded guilty after a woman found him the month before in a privy in White Water Park in Tulsa County, Okla., “standing with his head and shoulders out of the hole ... covered in feces,” according to a deputy. Enlow’s initial explanation was that his girlfriend had knocked him unconscious with a tire iron and dumped him there

COMESTIC SURGERY

-- From the world’s cosmetic-surgery capital (South Korea, where one woman in five has had at least one procedure) comes the “Smile Lipt” offered by Aone Plastic Surgery in the city of Yongin, designed to produce a permanent smile (associated with success). The Smile Lipt turns downward-drooping lip corners upward, to allow a persistent smile resembling that of Batman’s nemesis, The Joker.

RECURRING THEMES In 2012, two University of California, Davis, neurosurgeons boldly extended the cutting-edge treatment for three patients with a highly malignant brain tumor unresponsive to treatment. The doctors tried infusing bowel bacteria directly into the tumor, but the patients died, nonetheless. Although the patients had given fully informed consent, the school in August 2013 pressured Drs. J. Paul Muizelaar and Rudolph Schrot to resign for having violated internal and FDA procedures. --It is well known that hospitals charge for medical supplies far in excess of what the products would cost at drugstores, but an August New York Times investigation of “saline drips” vividly demonstrated the disconnect. Though Medicare reimburses $1.07 for a 1-liter plastic bag of saltwater (supplied by a subsidiary of Morton Salt), White Plains (N.Y.) Hospital charged patients’ insurance companies like Aetna $91 per bag. Other hospitals decline to charge per-bag, listing only “IV therapy” of, for example, $787 for hooking up the drip.

STRANGE -- The story of Kopi Luwak coffee is by now a News of the Weird staple, begun in 1993 with the first reports that a super-premium market existed for coffee beans digested by certain Asian civet cats, collected, washed and brewed. In June, news broke that civets were being mistreated -- captured from the wild and caged solely for their bean-adulterating usefulness. In August the American Chemical Society reported that a “gas chromatography and mass spectrometry” test had finally been developed to assure buyers that their $227-a-pound Kopi Luwak beans had, indeed, been excreted by genuine Asian civets. (Thus, Kopi Luwak drinkers, at up to $80 a cup in California, can sip their brews without fear of being ripped off.)

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(Are you ready for News of the Weird Pro Edition? Every Monday at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com and www.WeirdUniverse.net. Other handy addresses: WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.) COPYRIGHT 2013 CHUCK SHEPHERD DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL UCLICK 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, Mo. 64106

Boisselier ran a human-cloning start-up planning to charge $200,000 to make identical

THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

NEWS OF THE WEIRD


THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

5 $ 4 $ 3 $ 2 $

Cover Charge OR free entry with VALID college ID BomBer sPeciALs 10pm – midnight

well drinks 10pm – midnight

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Live music • 10Pm – 2Am friDAy, OctOber 18

Go Go GadJet with dJ freezie

sAturDAy, OctOber 19 dJ royale

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Join us Before and after every show at the sands Bethlehem event Center!

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@VISIONBARPA VISIONBARPA.COM


THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

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THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

CONCERT BEAT

CHAMELEON CLUB, Lancaster, PA TICKETS 717-393-7713 Filter, Oct 17 Otep, Oct 18 The Black Dahlia Murder, Oct 25 Misfits, Oct 26

MADISON SQUARE GARDEN New York, NY TICKETS 212-307-7171

TICKETS 610-434-4600 Teddy Geiger, Oct 16 Bleeding Through, Nov 11 The Predatour Feat, Ice Nine Kills, Nov 14 Veil of Maya, Dec 6

MAUCH CHUNK OPERA HOUSE, Jim Thorpe, PA TICKETS 570-325-0249 Childhood’s End, Oct 18 Philly Funk Authority, Oct 19 Robben Ford, Oct 24

The Weekend, Oct 4 Paramore, Metic, Hellogoodbye, Nov 8 Slayer & Gojira, Nov 29 The Fresh Beat Band, Dec 6

IRVING PLAZA, New York, NY

FM KIRBY CENTER, Wilkes Barre, PA

SUSQUEHANNA BANK CENTER Camden, NJ TICKETS 877-686-5366

TICKETS 877-682-4791 The Stylistics, Oct 19 Ru Paul’s Drag Race Show, Oct 26 Aaron Lewis, Nov 16

TICKETS 570-826-1100

Example, Oct 16 God FLesh, Oct 19 3oh!3, Oct 21

TROCADERO, Philadelphia, PA

TICKETS 610-332-1300

Fight Night at SteelStacks, Oct 17 Lehigh Valley Beatles, Oct 20 David Bromberg, Oct 25

Pearl Jam, Oct 21-22 Powerhouse, Oct 25

Dennis De Young, Live Music of Styx, Oct 27 Live: Medium’s Gallery with Laury Moore, Oct 30 The Bang Group, Nov 1

The Chariot, Oct 17 Peek A Booooo Halloween Revue, Oct 18 Stephen “Ragga” Marley, Oct 25 The Orb, Oct 26 Overkill & Kreator, Oct 31 Less than Jake, Nov 8 Papadosio, Nov 9 Yo Gotti, Nov 10 The Devil Wears Prada, Dec 14 Protest the Hero, Dec 15 David Koechner, Jan 11

(610) 743-3069 Taproot, Oct 15 Rivers of Nihil, Oct 18 Gwar, Nov 16 Sepultura, Nov 17 Blyndsyde, Nov 20

KESWICK THEATRE, Glenside, PA TICKETS 215-572-7650 Zappa Plays Zappa, Oct 16 The Piano Guys, Oct 18 The Faub Faux, Oct 19 Lyle Lovett & John Hiatt, Oct 25

SHERMAN THEATER, Stroudsburg, PA

PENNS PEAK, Jim Thorpe, PA

Conspirator, Oct 19 Umphrey’s McGee, Oct 24 Misfits, Oct 25 Greg Allman, Oct 29

Back 2 the 80’s, Oct 18 The Real Diamond, Oct 25 Gordon Lightfoot, Oct 26 America, Nov 2

TICKETS 570-420-280 Page 8

Wolfgang Gartner and Tommy Trash, Oct 20 Steve Aoki, Oct 24 Austin Mahone, Oct 25 Frightened Rabbit, Oct 27 Infected Mushroom, Oct 30

TICKETS (215) 922-5483

1409 N. 9th St

TICKETS 215-336-3600

MUSIKFEST / CAFE Bethlehem, PA

TICKETS (215) 627-1332

Cyndi Lauper, Oct 22

REVERB - Reading, PA

WELLS FARGO CENTER Philadelphia, PA Selena Gomez, Oct 18 Drake, Oct 19

Weezer, Nov 23 Trace Adkins, Nov 29 Megadeth, Nov 30 Celtic Woman, Dec 4 The Price is Right, Dec 7 Myth Busters, Dec 12

TICKETS 212-777-6800

MAIN GATE, Allentown PA MOHEGAN SUN ARENA AT CASEY PLAZA, TICKETS 610-898-7200 SOVEREIGN Reading, PA The Winery Dogs, Oct 27CENTER, • Tyler Farr, Nov 20 Wilkes Barre, PA TICKETS 570-920-7600 THE ELECTRIC FACTORY, Avril Lavigne and Jason Derulo, Dec 5 Philadelphia, PA MOUNT AIRY CASINO RESORT, Mount Pocono

TICKETS 800-745-3000

So You think You can Dance, Oct 16 Barenaked Ladies, Oct 18 Sammy Haggar, Oct 26 The Black Crowes, Oct 30 Joan Rivers, Nov 1 Kevin James, Nov 7 50 Shades The Musical, Nov 10 Paramore, Nov 11 America’s Got Talent, Nov 13 Terry Fator, Nov 17 IL Divo, Nov 19

Eagles, Nov 8-11 • Paramore, Nov 13 • Rod Stewart, Dec 9

CROCODILE ROCK, Allentown, PA

SANDS EVENT CENTER Bethlehem, PA

In This Moment, Nov 8 Jake Miller, Nov 19 Twelve Twenty Four, Dec 12 Clutch, Dec 28

TICKETS 570-325-0371

THE BARENAKED LADIES TAKES THE STAGE AT THE SANDS BETHLEHEM EVENT CENTER FRIDAY


THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

this Friday

MAINGATE NIGHTCLUB (610) 776-7711 BREWS BROTHERS WEST (570) 283-1300 448 N. 17th Street, Allentown, PA

ALL AGES /21 TO DRINK

75 MAIN STREET, LUZERNE, PA

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Tix for all shows at Ticketmaster.com, Charge-by-phone 800.745.3000, All Ticketmaster Locations & at each venue’s box office VISIT FACEBOOK.COM/SLPCONCERTS OR SLPCONCERTS.NET


THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

CLUBS AND PUBS ALLENTOWN

Jabber Jaws Bar & Grille 1327 Chew St Allentown, PA 610-432-6524

Tilted Kilt 2835 Lehigh St 610-791-2100

The Brewworks Restaurant & Brewery 812-816 W Hamilton St 610-433-7777 Tuesday: Comedy Wednesday: Trivia Thursday: Karaoke Friday: Office Party Saturday: Guided Tours

BATH Grumpy’s BBQ Roadhouse 3000 Mauch Chunk Rd 610-769-4600 10/16 Ladies Night 10/24 Jam with Roman Rascals Pub & Afterdark Lounge 6616 Ruppsville Rd 610-366-1130 Pitchers Sports Bar & Grill 570 Union Boulevard 610-841-4001 Friday: Live Entertainment Main Gate 17 W. Liberty Street 610-776-7711 Friday Night: Noche Latina Saturday: Classique 80’s, 90’s music Stratus Night Club 1193 Airport Road 610-776-2090 Wednesday: Karaoke

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Roosevelt’s 21st 1328 W. Tilghman St (610) 770-1444 Mon - Fri 1/2 price apps Live Music 4-7 Live Entertainment Tim Harakal / Billy Patrick / Strange Coincidence & More 10/18 Clinton Sparks Red Carpet Party

Jetport Lounge 3400 Airport Rd. Allentown, Pa 610-266-1000 Wednesdays: 6-12am DJ Jimmy K Fridays: Mike Mitman

BETHLEHEM Bar With No Name 300 Gateway Drive 610-866-5800 Fridays: DJ Cap Cee Saturdays: DJ Trama MacGrady’s 117 E. Third St 610-868-8925 Wednesday: Trivia Thursday: DJ@10pm Sat: Acoustic Entertainment

Funhouse 5 E. Fourth Street 610-868-5311 10/16 Will Kiss U 10/17 Serene Green 10/18 Trouble City Allstars 10/19 Dave Goddess 10/20 Modern Romantz 10/21 Peter ScapeGrace 10/22 Peter ScapeGrace Diamondz 1913 W Broad St Bethlehem, Pa 18018 610 865 1028 Monday: Trivia Friday DJ June Saturday DJ Cisco Fri & Sat: Dance club/ Karaoke Bethlehem Brew Works 569 Main St 610-882-1300 Vision Bar @ Sands Event Center 77 Sands Boulevard 610-297-7410 10/18 Go Go Gadget 10/19 DJ Royale Lou’s 50 Yard Line 2626 Easton Ave 610-882-9190 Thursdays: Open Mic Tuesday’s - Trivia Saturday’-Karoke w/ Jason

Roosevelt’s 21st 25 E. Elizabeth Ave (610) 266-1950 Thirsty Thursday w/ DJ Zee 10/20 Blackout Party

DJ Tom Taylor 10/16 Molten Lounge Bethlehem, PA

Go Go Gadjet 10/18 Vision Bar Sands Event Center Bethlehem, PA

Godfrey Daniels 7 E. Fourth St 610-867-2390 10/18 Vulcans & Rodeo 10/19 Anne Hills

CATASAQUA

Blue Monkey Sports Restaurant 1092 Howertown Rd 610-266-1550

DJ Vito G 9/28 Drinky’s Easton, PA

COOPERSBURG

Silhouettes Showbar & Gentlemen’s Club 111 E. Station Ave (Right off 309) 610-282-8010 Thursdays: Pool Tournament 8pm & Karaoke w/ DJ Shocker 9:30pm

BARTONSVILLE

The Pocono Pub Rt. 611, Bartonsville 570-421-5743 Monday: Open Mic Tues, Thurs, Sun: Karaoke 10/16 G & Steve Experience 10/19 Flyin Blind

EASTON

Spanky’s East 1700 Butler St 610-559-5170 Tues: Texas Hold Em’ Sun: 9-Ball Pool League Drinky’s 3 Centre St Sq 610-252-3800 10/26 Halloween Bash Porter’s Pub 700 Northampton St. 610-250-6561 10/16 Open Mic 10/17 Pam Purvis 10/18 Hoochie Men 10/19 Jessie & Co

Flyin’ Blind 10/19 Pocono Pub Bartonsville, PA

MORE ON PAGE 32

Strange Brew Tavern 1996 S. Fifth St 610-841-3610 Monday: Pong night 10/18 Scott Pemberton Trio 10/19 Hoozya Daddy

Cornerstone Pub 506 Penn St 610-837-6670 10/25 DJ Cobra/ Halloween Party

Sands Bethlehem Molten Lounge 511 E. 3rd Street 484-777-7777 10/16 After show w/ Teddy Geiger & MC Tom Taylor 10/17 Shorty Lon & The Jersey Horns 10/18 Shorty Lon & The Jersey Horns 10/19 Total Whiteout w/ DJ Tom Taylor 10/20 Lucky 7 10/21 Element K 10/22 Tower Suite


D I S T R I C T

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rocks Sellersville with John Wetton American Idol meets Prog legend

THE VALLEY VALLEY BEAT THE BEAT OCTOBER OCTOBER9,16,2013 2013

by: Mitch

District 97 from left: Patrick Mulcahy, Jonathan Schang, Leslie Hunt, Rob Clearfield, Jim Tashijian

Former American Idol Female Finalist, Leslie Hunt of District 97 with John Wetton at Sellersville Theater – Photo by Mike Flavin

the Crimson blitz. Wetton doesn’t play any instruments with the band – strictly vocals - but his voice still sounds as forceful as it did in the 70s and he hits all the right notes. And although he’s not playing bass, Wetton still has to go through the motions as he is constantly moving his fingers. It’s almost as if he feels naked without his bass. Last night, District 97 played the second to last date of this mini-tour at Iridium in New York City. They are set to wrap up the tour back in their hometown of Chicago tomorrow night. The collaboration of Wetton with District 97 is a successful one. Obviously, the band is flattered and humbled to be able to play with a legend like Wetton. It was a once-in-a-lifetime chance to take a step back in time and play amazing classic rock with one of rock’s greatest lead vocalists. As for Leslie Hunt, most American Idol contestants fade into oblivion but I have a feeling we’re going to be hearing a lot more from this talented songstress. Hopefully, she will continue on with District 97 because it’s a good fit and there’s a lot more creativity there that’s ready to bubble to the surface. District 97 is online at www.district97.net and on Facebook..

PANTONE 485 CVU PANTONE Process Yellow CVU PANTONE Reflex Blue C PANTONE 1395 CVC

Mitch has been on the air rockin’ the Lehigh Valley for eighteen years and has been with The Hawk for the last eleven years! Tune in weeknights for Classic Rock of the 70’s, 80’s and more! Listen Saturdays for great giveaways including free concert tickets for great area shows! To have your band reviewed please contact me at: mitch999thehawk@gmail.com

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You may be wondering how on Earth an American Idol contestant from season six winds up singing alongside an artist of John Wetton’s stature and longevity. This odd pairing of vocalists piqued my curiosity so I made the short trip down Route 309 to Sellersville where District 97 appeared last Wednesday to a disappointingly small but exuberant crowd. District 97 hails from Chicago and plays seriously sophisticated progressive rock with tinges of jazz fusion and heavy metal. Band members are Jonathan Schang on drums, Jim Tashijian on electric guitar, Rob Clearfield on keyboards and rhythm guitar, Patrick Mulcahy on bass, and Leslie Hunt on lead vocals. Leslie Hunt, an American Idol contestant from 2007’s season six, made it as far as the top ten for females. Not too bad for a girl from Chicago who’s been singing since she was four. The eventual American Idol winner that year was Jordin Sparks in case you’re wondering. Hunt probably didn’t fit the Idol mold well enough to have a chance at winning the whole thing but she parlayed that fleeting fame into a rather nice solo career as a singer-songwriter and now as the front person and lead vocalist of District 97. At Sellersville Theater, District 97 performed an incredibly tight opening set of originals from their two releases: 2010’s Hybrid Child and 2012’s Trouble With Machines. Their first song of the night, “Open Your Eyes”, is a Leslie Hunt composition from her 2009 solo album, Your Hair Is On Fire. The song has been reworked with input from the band and the new arrangement packs a powerful punch. It begins with a series of rapid, successive halting power chords with Hunt’s jazzy vocals. It turns into something a little punkier then lurches forward into the metal realm. Most impressive is the speed and precision of the players in this band. Drummer, Jonathan Schang, who is also the primary songwriter for the band, is quite literally the driving force behind the group. This band writes and plays some very complex music with many twists and turns and despite their youthful appearance, have an “old soul” approach and mentality to playing progressive rock. In addition to Schang’s amazing work on the drum kit, I also have to give high praise to guitarist, Jim Tashijian. Tashijian has a vast repertoire of playing styles that range from shredding on power chords to dazzlingly fast finger work. The result is a pleasing palette of

clean and crisp textures and tones. He is also quite accomplished at the tricky touching and tapping techniques that many classically trained musicians use. He garnered a lot of my attention Wednesday night and I thoroughly enjoyed watching him play. For the second set, enter former King Crimson bassist and singer and current Asia and UK bassist and singer, John Wetton. Well-known for his support of up and coming musicians (Wetton is also a celebrity instructor for the School of Rock), he once again makes time in his busy schedule to go out on tour with District 97. Wetton took a liking to the band and decided to join them for a two week tour where set one consists of just District 97 playing their originals and set two features District 97 with Wetton performing King Crimson classics, some that have not been played live for forty years. If you never had the chance to see King Crimson, here’s your chance to hear “21st Century Schizoid Man”, “Fallen Angel”, “The Night Watch” and “Book of Saturday.” Wetton begins the second set by singing a duet with Leslie Hunt for a District 97 original entitled “The Perfect Young Man” which is on the Trouble With Machines CD. Then comes


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THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013


SATURDAY OCTOBER 26TH: (CONT.)

THE BLUE MONKEY FRIDAY OCTOBER 25TH: KROCKS PUB ROOSEVELTS 21ST BETHLETHEM BUCKEYE TAVERN

ROOSEVELTS 21ST ALLENTOWN

THURSDAY OCTOBER 31ST KEYSTONE PUB WHITEHALL

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 1ST:

SATURDAY OCTOBER 26TH:

DRINKYS THE GIN MILL

SUNSET GRILLE FOGELSVILLE HOTEL REVOLUTIONS KEYSTONE PUB BETHLEHEM RIVALS HAMMERHEAD LOUNGE

THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

SATURDAY OCTOBER 19TH:

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 2ND: STOOGES

UPCOMING PROMOTIONS FEATURES WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 16TH: KEYSTONE PUB WHITEHALL POOCHES AND PINTS EVENT $1.50 DRAFTS 7-9PM

Hops at The Paddock Macgradys

Friday $2 Pints $7 Pitchers All Day Everyday

Stooges

Saturday $1.75 Pints

Roosevelts 21st Bethlehem

$1.99 Drafts All Day Everyday

COPPERHEAD AIRPORT RD 10-12AM $2.50 DRAFTS

Drinkys

$1.50 Drafts All Day Everyday

SUNDAY OCTOBER 20TH:

1760 Pub & Grille

SATURDAY OCTOBER 19TH:

KEYSTONE PUB WHITEHALL BREAST CANCER FUND RAISER $1.50 DRAFTS 2-4PM

The Gin Mill & Grille

Saturday $6 pitchers $3 20oz Drafts

Krocks Pub

$2 Drafts All Day Everyday

Pj Whelihans Bethlehem

Saturday $2.50 Drafts & Bottles

Keystone Pub Whitehall

$1.50 Drafts All Day Everyday

Sotto Santi

The Valley Coors Girls

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$2.75 Drafts


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THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013


THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

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THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

Two weeks ago was a very dismal week for album releases. I searched and searched for anything that might resemble something I’d want to listen to, let alone review, and found…nothing. Luckily last week was a different story. October 8th saw the release of the new EP from Stone Temple Pilots Featuring Chester Bennington, the new Cage the Elephant and last, but not least, the eleventh studio release from Korn. Out of these three review-worthy releases, I chose to rock out to the new Korn album, The Paradigm Shift. This is an album of firsts for Korn: it’s the first album in a decade to feature original guitarist Brian “Head” Welch and also the first release on independent record label, Caroline Records. For me, it’s the first time I listened to an entire Korn album from start to finish since 1999’s Issues. If you went to high school in the late 90s like me, then you probably remember that practically everyone liked Korn. At my school there was a group of guys I swear wore the same Korn shirt every day of the week. We even nicknamed one of the guys “Larry Korn” because everything he wore, did, or said had something to do with the band. Even though their last album, The Path of Totality, was creative with its incorporation of Dubstep, I felt it lacked some of that angst and aggression from the band’s earlier days. Frontman Jonathan Davis is not a happy camper; he’s battled many demons over the years, and his lyrics reflect it. This is none more evident than on their new 11-song headbanging, metal masterpiece. In an interview with Guitar World, guitarist James “Munky” Shaffer explained the title, The Paradigm Shift, by saying, “It’s a term encompassing different perspectives. You can view a piece of art from one angle and it takes on a certain image. If you look from another angle, it’s a completely different image. We liken that to Korn in 2013. With Head back in the fold, all of the elements fans have loved since day one are there, but we’re interpreting them from a new perspective. It’s a bigger, brighter and bolder Korn.” The record kicks off with ferocity

with “Prey For Me.” Not only is this title an awesome play on words, but it sets a precedent for the rest of the record and the direction that Korn is heading these days. Some old school Jonathan Davis growling can be heard on “Love & Meth.” The momentum stays on the third track, “What We Do,” where, presumably, Davis’ dark lyrics reflect his recent stint in rehab. The chorus reads, “I can’t take this / all my life is reckless / all our lives our dangerous / but we fake our way through / that’s what we do.” “Spike in my Veins” sounds most like vintage Korn, with Davis even doing some rapping. On a side note, make sure you listen to the chorus carefully because it sounds like he is singing “counting all these lines in my face” instead of “pounding all these spikes in my veins.” Another track with an awesome title, and even better guitar riff, is “Paranoid and Aroused;” this song is just plain badass. “Never, Never” is the first single release and currently sitting among the top five in Gina Crash’s “Top 10 Bone Songs” (see previous page). “Lullaby for a Sadist” is slow placed from the start, but then picks up into a sing-songy chorus similar to their nursery rhyme laden, “Shoots and Ladders.” The record caps off on a high note with the uber-heavy “It’s All Wrong.” Crank It The entire album needs to be f*cking cranked! The Paradigm Shift is definitely a solid effort. Just like Munky said in his interview, the new album incorporates facets from both new and old Korn. It seems as though they have come full circle with the return of Head. You can check out Korn performing songs from their new album, as well as their old hits, when they rock the Sands Bethlehem Event Center with Rob Zombie on November 26th!

Scotty Brilliant is the Afternoon Drive Personality on The Valley’s Real Rock Station, 107 The Bone. Hit Scotty up for a Road Rage or Work Release Friday request, or let him know if there is a new album you want him to review! Find him on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ScottyBrilliant.

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By: Scotty Scotty Brilliant Brilliant By:

THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 2, 2013

ALBUM ALBUM REVIEW REVIEW


BROUGHT TO YOU BY

1

2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

HAIL TO THE KING

AVENGED SEVENFOLD HAIL TO THE KING

MISERY LOVES MY COMPANY

THREE DAYS GRACE TRANSIT OF VENUS

NEVER NEVER

PLOT: The true story of Richard Phillips (Tom Hanks) who-as the captain of the merchant marine vessel the Maersk Alabama- was taken hostage by Somali Pirates. REVIEW: CAPTAIN PHILLIPS is vintage Tom Hanks. By that I mean that CAPTAIN PHILLIPS proves, now and forever, that despite a series of underwhelming movies (THE DAVINCI CODE, ANGELS & DEMONS, LARRY CROWNE) Tom Hanks is still at the top of his game. This is likely his best role since ROAD TO PERDITION, and a movie that’s all but guaranteed to put him back in the best actor race at the Oscars, for the first time since CAST AWAY in 2000.

KORN

THE PARADIGM SHIFT

LEADER OF THE BROKEN HEARTS PAPA ROACH THE CONNECTION

VOICES

ALICE IN CHAINS THE DEVIL PUT DINOSAURS HERE

LOLA MONTEZ

VOLBEAT

BEYOND HELL ABOVE HEAVEN

THERE’S NO GOING BACK SICK PUPPIES CONNECT

WE’RE AN AMERICAN BAND ROB ZOMBIE

VENOMOUS RAT REGENERATION VENDOR

TIRED

STONE SOUR HOUSE OF GOLD AND BONES PT. 1

DEAL WITH THE DEVIL POP EVIL ONYX

It helps that CAPTAIN PHILLIPS feels like a role that couldn’t possibly have been played by anyone but Hanks. He really embodies the American every-man, and playing Phillips, he’s incredibly personable and easy to identify with. There are no cutaways to Phillips’ family back home (his wife, played by Catherine Keener, is only briefly shown) keeping the film confined to what is happening at sea. It’s not needed, and despite running a lengthy 130 minutes, Greengrass keeps the film moving at an exceptionally fast pace. Likewise, Hanks’ performance as Phillips feels incredibly disciplined and authentic, with Phillips maintaining a mostly stoic demeanour until late in the film. One of the most intriguing things about Greengrass’ approach is the compassion and empathy he shows the Somali pirates. In a more jingoistic film, they would have been cardboard baddies, but Greengrass (and screenwriter Billy Ray) portray them in a three-dimensional way that- while not excusing their crimes- makes you understand their motivations. Greengrass avoids being preachy, but it’s a necessary element that would have been absent from many other films. As the head pirate, Barkhad Abdi doesn’t play a caricature or a two-dimensional monster, and if anything, knowing the motivations behind his crimes, and seeing his life back in Somalia makes his actions even more chilling, as we know he’s got nothing to lose. At the same time, this does not at all condone their actions. Clearly, Greengrass is portraying them as “bad guys” and not misunderstood victims of circumstance, which is nicely addressed by Phillips himself later in the film. The audience’s sympathy is kept squarely with the resourceful and clever Captain, and Hanks’s “everyman heroism” is comparable to the types of performances given by actors like Henry Fonda or James Stewart in their prime. Greengrass never goes too over the top by idealizing Phillips (a quick scene depicts him as a tough taskmaster at sea with union troubles), but it’s clear that this is a character we’re meant to identify with, and root for, which we certainly do. Like the BOURNE’s, Greengrass isn’t above staging some high-octane action, and the climatic SEAL assault is comparable to what Katherine Bigalow accomplished with ZERO DARK THIRTY. The tension is ramped up to almost unbearable levels throughout, although at the same time, it doesn’t feel “too Hollywood” and comes off as reasonably authentic (although really- who knows?). CAPTAIN PHILLIPS Is right-in-line with the best both Greengrass and Hanks have to offer, providing them both with a vehicle that allows them to perform at the top of their game. CAPTAIN PHILLIPS should not be missed.

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10

By Chris Bumbray

THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

Movie Review

GINA CRASH’S TOP 10


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THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013


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THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

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THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

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THE 16, 2013 THE VALLEY VALLEYBEAT BEAT OCTOBER JULY 31, 2013

SYKA: Hard Rock Metal Queen! By Camille Capriglione

“We won a contest from Guitar Center,” says Sayka. “I got the call while I was at the beach. I couldn’t believe it! There were so many meant-to-be things that happened with our band.” (Such as meeting her guitar player at a studio near her home two years ago.) “I thought to myself, well, vacation’s over! We played that concert to a packed house of over 3000 people. A show of that caliber was amazing.” Syka is branching out and networking. They’ll be making an appearance on Clear Channel Radio’s WDHA 105.5, a radio station that spotlights New Jersey bands. Syka can be also be found on YouTube, SoundCloud and on their Facebook page: https://www. facebook.com/SykaMusic. Their next concert will be in Amityville, NY on October 26, at the Revolution Bar. Check them out, then come on out for a rockin’ and sensational show!

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A new era of women in rock is taking over. Musical mavens who are strong, sexy, talented vocalists are at the helm of the rock and roll world! Syka and her band are storming the East Coast with their impressive style of metal. This band is so good that it’s almost difficult to define them. Fans of Pat Benatar, Joan Jett and Lita Ford will embrace Syka’s voice, which can be soulful and melodic, and at the same time gritty and hardcore, revealing an impressive vocal range, occasionally marked by a wicked scream! Syka performed in September at the Sands Casino during Parafest, a paranormal and horror convention that hosted entertainment stars of the sci-fi and horror world. Hailing from New Jersey, Skya has played in their home state, as well as NY, PA, CT, MD and DE. The Valley Beat had to opportunity to talk with Syka regarding the band’s upcoming shows. At the age of 7, Syka became involved in musical theater. By age 13, she was writing her own music. “It took awhile for me to make the transition to rock,” says Syka. “I was a classical pianist and I played acoustic guitar.” Syka was impacted during her early teens, “When I was 15, I went to my first hard rock concert with my mom. We saw Lzzy Hale in a Halestorm concert in Montclair, NJ. She had such a powerful voice,” remarks Skya, “And I thought, that’s how I sing!” So, she assembled a band. She could never imagine that one year later, Syka would be opening for Halestorm on New Year’s Eve, 2011! “I definitely see a resurgence of women in rock,” says Syka. “There are wicked cool metal bands nowadays, like Butcher Babies and In This Moment.” Their intense singles like “Love Sick” and “Miss Heroin” are causing a buzz with fans on Twitter. They also perform an amazing cover of Marilyn Manson’s ‘Sweet Dreams.’ “When we recorded that EP” says Syka, “it felt like our own.” The band, which includes Gregg Sgarlata on guitar, John X on bass and Mark Ludas on drums, had the honor of being chosen to perform with Slash in 2012 at the Dome at Oakdale Theater in Connecticut.


THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

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THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

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THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013


THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

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THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

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THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

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THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013


THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

THIS WEEKEND THEATER LISTINGS AMC TILGHMAN 8 TILGHMAN SQUARE ALLENTOWN (610) 391-0772

FRANK BANKO ALEHOUSE CINEMAS STEELSTACKS ONE FOUNDERS WAY BETHLEHEM 610-297-7111

BECKY’S DRIVE IN Rt. 248 BERLINSVILLE http://www.beckysdi.com/

MAHONING VALLEY CINEMA CARBON PLAZA MALL LEHIGHTON 610-377-8626 http://mvcinema.com/

CARMIKE 16 1700 CATASAUQUA RD ALLENTOWN 610-264-9624 http://www.carmike.com/

MAHONING DRIVE-IN Rt 443 LEHIGHTON 570-645-6204

CARMIKE PROMENADE & IMAX 2805 CENTER VALLEY PARKWAY SAUCON VALLEY 610-709-8635 CIVIC’S THEATER 514 514 N. 19th St ALLENTOWN

SHANKWEILER’S DRIVE-IN 4540 SHANKWEILER RD (OFF Rt 309) OREFIELD 610-683-8775 http://www.shankweilers.com/

October 25, 2013

READING MOVIES 11 & IMAX 3D 30 N. SECOND ST READING MOVIES 11 & IMAX 3D 610-374-2828

THE GAP THEATER 47 BROADWAY St 610-863-3094 Courtesy of Twentieth Century Fox

THE ROXY 2004 MAIN ST NORTHAMPTON 610-262-7699 http://roxytheaternorthampton.com/

REGAL NORTHAMPTON 14 3720 EASTON-NAZARETH HIGHWAY (ROUTES 33 & 248) LOWER NAZARETH TOWNSHIP 610-559-7800

EMMAUS THEATER 19 S. FOURTH St 610-965-2878

NEW DVD RELEASES

1. The Conjuring 2. The Internship 3. The Way Way Back 4. Before Midnight 5. Only God Forgives

6. The Waiting Room 7. I Give It A Year 8. 100 Bloody Acres 9. Dead In Tombstone 10. As Cool As I Am

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1. Gravity TOP 10 BOX OFFICE MOVIES 6. Prisioners 2. Captain Phillips 7. Insidious Chapter 2 3. Cloudy w/ A Chance of 8. Rush Meatballs 2 4. Machete Kills 9. Don Jon 5. Runner Runner 10. Baggage Claim

REGAL POHATACONG CINEMA 12 Rt 22 PHILLIPSBURG, NJ 908-454-7500 http://www.fandango.com/

REGAL RICHLAND CROSSINGS 12 RICHLAND CROSSING QUAKERTOWN 215-536-7700 http://www.fandango.com


THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

a t e n l o l i D

610-921-0777 TV, Major Motion 156 Madison Ave, Picture Films, Print and Promotional www.donatellimodels.com Reading Pa

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FRIDAY OCT 18th: LUPE GARU SATURDAY OCT 19th: DECOY CLONES


THE VALLEY VALLEYBEAT BEAT OCTOBER JULY 31, 16, 20132013 THE

Better not Louder By Elle Spaulding

So how does a true audiophile respond? Number 1) Stream your music! Spotify streams at 320 kbps (kilo bits per second). iTunes and Pandora stream at 192 kbps. If a 300 second song is 4.2 MB (~34000 kilobits) and it streams at a consistent bit rate then that’s only about 68 kbps. Number 2) Buy decent speakers. Not all music is compressed to oblivion, but you’re not going to be able to pick up the detail with crappy speakers, i.e. my Phantogram car experience. Number 3) Do what people have done since the moment that music graced the face of the earth, listen to it live. Oktoberfest was this past weekend in Bethlehem, and although not a major music event in the Lehigh Valley like summer’s Musikfest is, Oktoberfest brought it’s own line up audio revelry. And for the rest of the year there is always live music at the Fun House and Godfrey Daniels in Bethlehem, Strange Brew in Allentown and Porter’s Pub in Easton. Happy listening! PAGE3121 PAGE

Everyone’s a snob about something. If you know me in person you would probably know that I’m more snob than a person probably has a right to be and my latest snobberific endeavor? Audiophilia. Lately, I have been really into learning about the recording and production of really good music. The initial push that birthed me into this brave new world was an accident. While in my car a few weeks ago, I noticed that a song that I had listened to previously on my computer sounded totally and entirely different coming from my car’s speakers. The song, “When I’m Small” by Phantogram suddenly had more beat to it. It was more dynamic, dance worthy and interesting. Whereas I liked it mildly as a song I wouldn’t skip when it looped through a playlist, I wasn’t captivated, but in my car it was so much more vibrant. From then on, I took my first baby steps as an audiophile. As a disclaimer I will say that I’m still a relatively new audiophile. I have glimpsed Enlightenment but haven’t reached Nirvana, but this is what I can share with you. Pretty much all the music that you buy or stream today is compressed or limited in some way. The information that computers read to code and decode music comes in bits, the smallest unit of computer information. What is more familiar to most people is a byte, which is just a set of 8 bits. Bytes are what you see when you look at the size of things i.e. MB megabytes. The thing about music though is that it is dynamic. Consider just the sound of a single instrument. It can produce many frequencies of sound, different tones and harmonics. A musician playing an instrument will excite those frequencies to produce various sounds that are then recorded and transferred into bits. If this one instrument uses up the entire range that recording equipment can pick up, then that doesn’t leave much room for other instruments, let alone a whole band. Which is why albums are usually recorded one instrument at a time. If this were the whole story though, music would only be one-instrument recordings, which are impressive to listen to, but ultimately incomplete. Therefore mixing music requires compressing/limiting, which are two different processes that I won’t discuss in detail here, but basically the amount that you hear each instrument is adjusted to create a final song. Add to

that the ubiquity of personal music players and the much maligned, but highly popular MP3 format creating the need for smaller and smaller music files and music ends up losing detail. This is where something called the “loudness wars” comes in. In general, compressed music sounds louder than uncompressed music. Also to compensate for the decrease in sound quality that results from compression, music is often mastered for and played at a louder volume. The irony here is that hearing loss is cumulative. If constant exposure to poor quality, loud music gradually corrodes your ability to hear, you’ll likely increase the volume of the music that you are listening to. It’s a cycle that cripples your ability to appreciate music at all. Some artists have responded to the loudness wars. Nine Inch Nails’ latest album, Hesitation Marks, which Scotty Brilliant reviewed for The Valley Beat Issue 156, was released twice. There is one standard version and another specifically designed for audiophiles. It was a release greatly appreciated by the audiophile community, nevertheless the overwhelming majority of music available for purchase today is heavily compressed.


THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

ZODIAC

ARIES (3/21 – 4/19) This is a challenging week for you. In the early half of the week it should be possible to come to grips with the sort of jobs that are going to pay you more money. Your creative and original ideas will impress the people who are in a position to help you get them off the launching pad. This is also an ambitious and aspiring week for those working in media, broadcasting and communication. Your lucky numbers are 2 and 4 and winning colours are purple and pumpkin.

LIBRA (9/23 - 10/22)

This is an enjoyable week. The early days is good time to push hard to get your propositions accepted by relatives. Your positive attitude will give close family members the confidence to follow your plans. Do what you can to make the future more secure. Expenditure is on the rise this week. The weekend is favorable for setting up home with loved ones. Your lucky numbers are 9 and 3 and winning colours are copper and bronze.

GEMINI (5/21 – 6/21) This is a mixed week for you. The early days are busy and somewhat difficult. Arguments within the home will be most upsetting for some of you. Loved ones could change their minds and may not make themselves available to see you. But during the second half of the week, you will be able to get out and about more. Your lucky numbers are 5 and 9 and winning colours are bright blue and deep red. CANCER (6/22 – 7/22) This is a significant and considerable week for you. Try to make contacts with people who can be some use to you in your career. Mid-week is the right time for making a concerted effort to assure that some of your plans come true. This pertains especially to those that are directly related to your work prospects. Weekend should be useful for dealing with all sorts of correspondence. Your lucky numbers are 6and 4 and winning colours are sapphire and cerulean. LEO (7/23 - 8/22) This is a manageable week. You may be fussing too much. Just because you want everyone to have a good time you could tend to overreact. Seek out the company of people with whom you are at ease. Try to avoid people who make you feel ill at ease. Do not go to formal functions where you would feel you had to be on your guard for most of the time. Your lucky numbers are 1 and 4 and winning colours are sapphire and cinnamon.

HELLERTOWN

Beer Mussels 1214 Main St 610-838-8200 Friday: Leechboy Saturday: Texas Hold’em Sunday: Texas Hold’em

PALMER SCORPIO (10/23 - 11/21)

TAURUS (4/20 – 5/20) This is an earnest and promising week for some of you. Recreational and sporting activities can be useful in the early days of week. This will also be favorable for communicating with people at a distance. You will be able to get on top of routine matter that you do not want to have to deal with later in the week. Loved ones will be available to you especially in the weekend. Your lucky numbers are 2 and 5 and winning colours silver and black.

CLUBS AND PUBS continued

This is an important and considerable week. Early days are good for making attempts to get to know people better. This applies particularly to those who are in a position to do you some good outside of regular office or business hours. It may be possible for you to get some extra income at this time. Your lucky numbers are 4 and 7 and winning colours are beige and lilac.

SAGITTARIUS (11/22 - 12/21) This is a rewarding week for you. You have been doing a lot of hard work throughout this month. But this week is quite relaxing and easygoing for you. You seem to have had a very energetic start to the month so try to get more rest while you can. Children’s company will be enjoyable in the weekend. It is a favorable week for romance as well as for arranging pleasure. Your lucky numbers are 3 and 5 and winning colours are sand and wheat.

CAPRICORN (12/22 - 1/19) This is a favorable week for you. During the first half of the week, you may be able to realise a tidy profit by buying or selling some property. It might be possible to sign leases or exchange contracts. Those of you who have been itching to move should be able to make the final arrangements by the end of the week. You will get the backing of loved ones for most of your original ideas for making money. Your lucky numbers are 6 and 2 and winning colours pink and off-white.

AQUARIUS (1/20 - 2/18) This is a lucky and providential week for you. You can count on the early days peaceful, easygoing. You have not had much opportunity recently to enjoy a quiet time with your nearest and dearest. In the second half of the week you are going to need all your energy to cope with the rather trying conditions at work. You will have your work cut out for you if you want to finish your duties on time. Your lucky numbers are 3 and 9 and winning colours are ultramarine and yellow.

Charles Chrin Community Ctr 4100 Green Pond Rd 10/26 Halloween Dance King Henry & The Showmen

CENTER VALLEY Melt Level 3 2805 Center Valley Parkway 610-798-9000 Fridays DJ Chubby C Saturday DJ Fog (Dan Glatts)

QUAKERTOWN Big Daddy’s Wagon Wheel Tavern Route 313 & Sternersmill Rd. 215-536-9989 Wednesdays: Scott & Wade 10/18 Lupe Garu 10/19 Decoy Clones

WIND GAP Score Card Sports Bar 130 N. Broadway 610-863-5269 Thursdays : Funtime Karaoke 9:30pm - 1:30am TC Dance Club 6623 Sullivan Trail 610-881-1000

READING Rumorz 220 N. Park Rd 610-374-3200

KUHNSVILLE Kuhnsville Inn 5745 Memorial Rd 610-395-2387 Wed & Fri: Karaoke

WESCOSVILLE

Krocks Pub 1160 S. Krocks Rd 610-391-0648 Sat: DJ Linx

NORTHAMPTON The Gin Mill / Main St Music Hall 1750 Main Street 610-262-5486 Wednesday: Karaoke Thursday: Karaoke Hammerhead Lounge 326 Main Street 610-262-6713 Thursdays: Open Mic w/ Tim Harakal Fridays: DJ Statik 10/19 Nick Cerniglia 10/26 Halloween Bash w/ Emily’s Toybox

MACUNGIE

The Pub On Main 102 E. Main St 610-966-2275 Tuesdays: Billy Patrick Thursdays: Comedy Night The Longswamp Tavern 20 Gap Road 610-702-3700 10/19 The Odd Sons 10/26 From The Wreckage

OREFIELD Leather Corner Post 6855 Horeshoe Road 610-395-1782 Tuesday: Trivia w/ DJ Slacker Wednesday: Acoustic Jam Thursday: Open Jam 10/18 Triage 10/19 Dr. Jim

CLINTON, NJ Revolution 111 W. Main Street Clinton NJ Inside Holiday Inn

DOYLESTOWN

Puck 1 Printers Alley 215-348-9000 10/17 Lawn Boys Comedy 10/18 Brooke Shive & 45’s 10/19 Pure Jerry Chambers 19 / The Other Side 19 N. Main Ave 215-348-1940 The Farmhouse Tavern 380 N. Main St 215-345-9373 10/18 Keith Garner

PENNSBURG PC Pub Restaurant & Sports Bar 500 Pottstown Ave 215-679-4900 Thur/Fri/Sat: DJ The Perk 501 E. Walnut St. 215-257-8483 Wednesdays: Open Mic Thursdays: Trivia Night Saturday: Karaoke

GOULDSBORO The Grandview Gentlemens Club Rt 435 570-842-2661 Tuesday: College/Miltary Night 11/7 Amateur Night

STROUDSBURG Sarah Street Grill 550 Quaker Alley 570-424-9120 Wednesday: Open Mic 10/18 Juggling Suns 10/19 Clarence Spady Band 10/20 Pocono Duo 10/22 Marc Von Em’

For entertainment listings email us: thevalleybeat@gmail.com

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PISCES (2/19 - 3/20) VIRGO (8/23 - 9/22) This is a hopeful week for you a good deal of your time during the early days is likely to be taken up with correcting the errors that were made by other people. But it will have its advantages. Influential people will be made aware of your efforts and will be likely to reward you accordingly. But you will have some difficulty in adapting yourself to new working methods or procedures. Your lucky numbers are 1 and 9 and winning colours are green and mauve.

This is a sensitive and perceptible week. Legal settlement is quite likely to be granted in favor of you. You may not get quite as much money as you were hoping for from some agreements. During the second half of the week keep all of your dealings with business partners strictly open and above board. Do not let your colleagues feel that you are trying to put something over on them. Your lucky numbers are 3 and 6 and winning colours are orange and bright blue.

Check Out Juggling Suns This Friday At The Sarah Street Grill in Stroudsburg, PA


Wednesday, OctOber 30 • 8PM

THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

The Black crowes tickets on sale now BoX oFFIce: 610.297.7400

contact the box office about luxury seating.

/thesbec

@thesbec PAGE 33


THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013 Page 34

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THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013


THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

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THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

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THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013


MUSIC

Email // classifieds@thevalleybeat.com

EMPLOYMENT

Seeking Interns Drummer Wanted We are seeking motivated We are looking for drums to interns, seeking college credit complete a 4 piece rock act. We email: thevalleybeat@gmail.com have a variety of influences . Mike: 610-984-3791 GUITAR LESSONS from touring pro, performing and teaching for over 30 years and has shared the stage with BB King, Les Paul and Robert Cray. 610-360-5462

PLACE YOUR AD TODAY!

Hotel Housekeeping (Comfort Inn Quakertown) now accepting applications for the position of Room Attendant. Trumpet / Bugler Needed is. Weekends are mandatory. No To perform 140 Military funerals calls please. Reply with resume per year. Primarily between or employment applications are Reading and Allentown. available and being accepted at 609-504-9450 hotel front desk 24 hours a day.

Call // 9am - 5pm 7 Days a Week(484) 635-2253

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Delivery Drivers Wanted The Valley Beat is seeking Drivers for many areas in the Lehigh Valley. Must have own car / ins. Reply to: distribution@thevalleybeat.com

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THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

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PAGE 41

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Little Johnny parks his car

Little Johnny awoke one night to hear strange noises coming from his parents bedroom. When he opened the door his dad was on his mom naked . He said”Dad what are you and mom doing? His dad told him “I’m parking my car in yours mom’s garage. Go back to bed.” Well the next day, the girl next door came over to play with johnny. He said “ I have a new game for us to play.” what’s it called the girl replied . It’s called parking the car . Wanna try it he said. Sure said the little girl. Well Johnny tells her how to play and they get off to a good start. A few minutes later all you can here is little Johnny screaming . His mom rushes into the room and says” what the hell is going on here? . The girl tries her best to explain. She said “You see we were playing park the car and johnny got his car all most all the way in. The back tires wouldnt fit so I cut them off! Little Johnny at the park Little Johnny sees his Daddy’s car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing. Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly. “MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND....” Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story. So Johnny tells her. “I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy....” At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, “Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy’s face when you tell it tonight.” At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story. He describes the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and, “Then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army.” Little Johnny’s Exciting Story One day the teacher told her class to think of something exiting that happened recently. Little Suzie told about her trip to Florida.

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Clyde said his dad got drunk all the time. Little Johnny put a dot on the board and the teacher asked him to explain what was exciting about a period. He said, “Hell if I know but my sister said she missed hers and my mom screamed, my dad had a heart attack, and the boy nextdoor killed himself.”

CHECK OUT OUR HOT WEBSITE GO TO THEVALLEYBEAT.COM

THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

JOKES


THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

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THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013


ANAIS RIZZO

PHOTOS BY: Gordon Forsyth Photography

SEE MORE PHOTOS ONLINE WWW.THEVALLEYBEAT.COM

THE VALLEY BEAT OCTOBER 16, 2013

MODEL BEAT

Age: 20 Parsippany, NJ What do you do to make $$? At Dunkin Donuts, PRINT & PROMO MODEL. Are you? Single, dating, engaged, or married? Dating. How would our readers get to know you or become your friend? FaceBook or Contact My Manager: Gordon@jerseyshorejems.com Where was your best vacation destination? California. What do you do to relax? A Cup of Tea in Bed. What sports do you watch the most? I Don’t. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage? Vodka & Cranberry. What happens to be your worst vice? When People are Impatient. What is your best feature? My Eyes. What TV show do you never miss each week? Breaking Bad. What movie would you recommend to our readers? This is the End. What is at the top of your “Bucket List?” To Visit Italy. Are you a Spender or A Saver? A Little Bit of Both. What have you done in the last year that you would think is news to our readers? I’ve finally begun modeling which has been my dream for a long time. What do you sleep in? Bra & Panties. What is the worst pick-up line ever tried on you? I love you. Date me? What do you want guys to know about sex/ relationships that you wish they knew (but they don’t)!? Guys should always get their girl flowers. It will make any girl’s day.

PAGE 47

Would you like to be considered for Model of the Week? Contact randy@donatellimodels.com or mickey@donatellimodels.com


GREAT ENTERTAINMENT... IT’S CLOSER THAN YOU THINK

OTHER UPCOMINg ACTS BoBBy Vinton – octoBer 19 Joan riVers – noVemBer 1

Barenaked ladies

Frankie Valli – noVemBer 9 50 shades! the musical – noVemBer 10 OCTOBER 18

OCTOBER 25

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NOVEMBER 30

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OCTOBER 30


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