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The Vision of the “Voice of Manifestations” Newsletter is to communicate the various events to our partners and the community. Thus, it helps to build and enhance relationships between the two. The newsletter is also a mechanism to evangelize, encourage, build and lift up. The Voice focuses on the four aspect of Manifestations Worldwide, which are Spiritual Trainings, Education, Job and Housing. Our prayer is that God is touching someone’s life through the Voice of Manifestation Newsletter (VOM). Ultimately, our desire is to be obedient to the commission God has given us; to go and spread the gospel. All we need is an audience; someone that is interested, ready to listen, with a heart to receive. Many go door to door; but VOM newsletter travel email to email; across the country and around the world, seeking the heart in need of a word. And teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthews 28:20 (NIV)
A Note from the Editor Greetings Readers, the Center for Manifestations started the year 2016 with a lot of our partner’s getting engaged for marriage. VOM wants to take this moment to say....Congratulations! This month Voice of Manifestation Newsletter focuses on “Love.” ‘What is Love?’ I believe you will agree with me when I say that love is a feeling, it’s affection towards others, like parents, children, siblings’ friends etc. The Bible shows “loves” pattern and the evidence that it is present in 1Corinthians 13:4-7. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” This scripture is an awesome reflection of how God loves us every day. He also requests in John 13:34, that we would love each other in the same manner that He has shown His love for us. “A new commandment I give to you, that you
love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” We pray, that while you’re reading this month articles you will be able to feel and see the love that we share for each other. We believe that one of these articles will minister to you and your love ones. Allow “love” to take over your life!
THE GLORY OF TOGETHERNESS God we (the body of Christ) begin to dereetings believers! In the month velop favor with all people. Why, because of February I'd like to focus on the topic they see and understand that the agenda is of togetherness. In January we witnessed to help and promote the well-being of others. And finally, God draws men to His the horrible intentions of Godless individuals in this world, and because of this body through the selfless acts of believers along with many other things, there's no time like the present for believers to unify and come together. God has shown us in times past that nothing mobilizes His body more than a little persecution. He is calling on everyone that names the name of Christ to come together and be about the business of Kingdom advancement. The time has come to put all religion and tradition away and place all of our energy and focus on doing what God says.
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Acts 2:44-45, 47 says, “And all that believed were together, and had all things in common; And sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need. Praising God, and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved.�
operating in love and having compassion on all and for all men.
Believers, we can do far more collectively with our talents, abilities, gifting, callings, and anointing, than we could ever think or imagine as separate beings attempting to accomplish Gods agenda on our own. So from this day on starting in 2016, let's strive for togetherness like So we see from these passages that never before in the body of Christ! Let’s when believers come together with all lay down all selfish and prideful ways for things in common (Gods agenda) selfishthe benefit of kingdom advancement. ness is the first thing that leaves. Why, because the heart of God is always about Till next month peace be unto you! blessing others and placing others needs Eddie Boles before our own. Secondly as we praise
Tapping into your manly sensitive side When a holiday that celebrates love approaches, men tend to force themselves to get mushy and express emotions that are not a part of our everyday lives. Men don't grasp at our heart strings as often as we should. Instead we suppress our sensitive side all too much. Yet, in the culture we live, the month of February there is “love” in the air. Therefore, a man’s natural reaction is to fix a women's expectation of romance and love. It is the one time of year that men show their “soft” side. For some men showing love and affection comes naturally and does not require
Anyone, male or female, cannot give what they don't have. If you don't love yourself, you do not have the capacity to give what you do not have. Love comes from and is God (1 John 4:7), there is no requirement of a holiday to obtain it, nor does one need to develop it. Even more so, He gives it because He is love. So the absence of Christ in our lives is symptomatically revealed through how love is expressed. When love is in us, it flows naturally, requiring nothing, no effort or thought. When love is absent, over compensation ensues. This is especially true for men. Men will go to ridiculous lengths to express something we don't have. Or feel incomplete because everyone around us is expressing something we lack. Because men are by nature fixers, we have to fix this by having someone to show love to. Yet, it is never enough to release the emptiness because there was nothing to give in the first place. Men, if you find yourself needing a date this month, or out of ideas in how to express your feelings to your wife, fiancé, or girlfriend; consider finding yourself in love with Christ first and foremost. When you find that, you will be bursting at the seams with romance, ideas, and expression. For the few that are truly in love with God and do really love your spouses; ask for help from trusting brothers in Christ. One may point you in the right direction and get you going on your own.
a holiday or season to express themselves with love or romance. However, there are some men that are obsessed with romance, overcompensating because of something much deeper.
We all have a responsibility to Christ to be love and show it (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). Let's strive to tap into that place called ‘Love’. It's okay you’re still a very manly man. Al Gonzalez
Living in His Abundance of LOVE A gentleman I met some years ago By my hand He led me free In a soft voice He whispered, “I will never let you go” In my ears… I could hardly believe By so many men I’ve been deceived What makes Him different from the rest He said my lovely lady Why don’t you put me to the test Trust in Me that’s all I ask Cause I’ve loved you even from your past Around me He wrapped His arms And in His presence here I stand A feeling of closeness like no other Tears falling beyond control I fell in love with this man He took me for His bride My name He irreversibly changed I now live through His grace and mercy And my life has never been the same As I am saturated Living in His abundance of love Jennifer Grant
Through the Process Being in a relationship early in my adulthood where I was exposed to betrayal was not a fun experience. At that point I decided not to commit to any relationships because of one individual’s actions. Truth be told, I wasn't ready anyway. As I developed and became a man, I was mentally ready for a new relationship but wasn't desperately looking for one right away. I was now enjoying life as a single man. Then I met my wife (Catina) in 2000. From that moment I knew she was the one I wanted to keep and never let go. I observed her. I appreciated that she knew her value. I also appreciated her giving heart towards people in need. These qualities about her drew me in even more as time went on. I found her because she wasn't looking. She was an independent woman and didn't rely on a man to do anything for her prior to meeting me. Within a year and a half we were married. When my wife and I got married we decided to become a team. We made a covenant with each other to love, support and encourage one another. In times when personal sacrifices needed to be made we would make them together. Throughout our 14 years of marriage we have been each other’s accountability partner.
dreamed of and more in a wife. As I engage in a deeper level of commitment to Christ, I have found that I love her more and more each day. As her husband, I make daily decisions to lead every aspect of our lives. Saying you’re the head of your home can just be words that a man verbalizes. Reading my bible taught me how to be the man my wife could respect and trust through my actions. Knowing that you are totally responsible for the development of your marriage and family through the good times and the bad is a must. I know that I am responsible for her! The Lord entrusted me with such a rare jewel. She satisfies me and I enjoy every bit of her. Some men just talk about a Proverbs 31 woman, but I know I truly have one. We have worked together over 10 years. We challenge one another and also help each other develop our skills in business. You have to clearly delineate tasks and roles in business. It was helpful to identify our strengths in the areas of business and leadership. We often come together, compare our lists, ideas and have decided to assign roles and responsibilities according to those strengths but also respect each other's weaknesses. I know my role as her husband and I now know how to separate my role as her husband and her business partner.
Catina is my wife, friend, business partner, confidant, lover and a wonderful mother. She is very caring and quiet yet During the uncomfortable times in outspoken. I love who she is and who she our marriage, when we feel we have been is becoming. She's everything I’ve hurt or wronged by one another, we
choose not to fall into emotional tendencies. Anytime there is a disagreement and/or we are reminded of anything from our past, we talk about it. Never give your spouse the silent treatment because trust me; it is not healthy for any marriage. Nothing positive will come from it. We realized later in our marriage there were times we were saying the same thing just saying it differently. We have learned to listen and not go tit for tat. Yes we had that season. Always be willing to communicate with an open mind and a heart to receive. You have to make a conscience decision not to hold onto bitterness or anger. Forgive each other. You are not going to always agree but collectively make a choice to work out differences with effective compromises.
We understand we don't have the same likes and that we are complete opposites, however learning each other daily is key! Growing together with my wife has been some of our toughest times. She would challenge me by asking questions. If she didn't understand or agree she would want clarity. She didn't care about how it made me feel or how I felt about her questions. She would not walk on egg shells with me. In reality she wanted to make sure I had her back no matter what. This played a major part of the growth in our marriage. I can truly say God made her just for me. Marriage takes work but it’s well worth it. We continue to grow and love each other through the process.
Terence Smith
wagen, has become synonymous with diesel mileage cheating and “Use Words When Necessary” subsequently the company has had its reputation tarnished. n our previous article, we examined what branding means in corporate world. (By the way, did For the believer, branding must also mean you know the auto the appropriate incorporation of his or her maker Bentley is owned by the faith walk into their work environment. Branding for the believer does not mean Volkswagen walking around the workplace exhibiting group? This is one outward displays of one’s faith. Wearing of the most imporhuge crosses, carrying oversized Bibles on tant reasons that your arm, or preaching during work hours Volkswagen wants to your coworkers is not always appropri- very much to put ate or wise. One must be careful how one the diesel scandal behind it and fast!) conducts oneself because branding can As a believer, one work both positively and negatively. The workplace is for making money, and of our goals should business branding is to create return busi- be to draw others ness. All employers are not believers and to Christ. We can do that by living are probably not comfortable with overt our lives in a way displays of one’s faith while on the job. Keep in mind, if a Christian is allowed to where others will see God’s light in manifest his or her beliefs at work, all other religions must be allowed to do so as our lives. Matthew 6 says it well. all. Our personal brand should inOne can see how negative branding affects corporate humility businesses in these real life and current and most of all examples. Chipotle makes great TexMex love and forgiveness. As my earthly father food. But after the las unfortunate episode, used to say, “We should bear witness to its name has become a symbol of potential God at all times and when necessary, use food poisoning and sub-quality food words!” Others are always watching so preparation. Another business, Volks-
PERSONAL BRANDING
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this is why it is so important that we live our faith at all times. Lastly, first impressions are extremely important. There is scientific proof that first impressions are built into our brain’s functions. A recent article de-
is part of our ancestral survival mechanism in rapidly assessing individuals we meet or situations that may put us in a “fight or flight” situation. Even today, this ability to rapidly assess situations or people we meet can be necessary, even in a job interview situation. A research group at Princeton University concluded that decisions about trustworthiness are reached within one tenth of second by the average person. The manner in which a person. Gives a handshake and looks someone in the eye while doing so is important for establishing a perception of trustworthiness, sincerity, etc. Again, as believer, we must keep in mind that not only is our heavenly Father watching, along with the great cloud of witnesses but as previously stated, others – including coworkers, family members and neighbors are always watching. That person at whom you may have honked the horn and cussed my have been watching you while deciding whether to come to church or not. Or consider this – that person at whom you roll your eyes, blow off, tell off or just ignore at the convenience store, may be the person with whom you will be interviewing for a business loan or potential job!
scribes the concept of “thin slicing.” The human brain is wired to make what are - Keith Lashley considered to be snap judgments, and essentially, this is what thin slicing means. It
the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.
Being a single Christian has been a jour-
Our relationship with God comes first. He is our first love. He is the one who receives all adoration, all praise, and all honor. It belongs to Him. After seeking the kingdom of God first, everything else has been added to my life, including my fiancé. I thank God for him finding me, and I am thankful that I can be an asset to his life. Having the opportunity to share a journey with someone who is whole and complete in Christ, needing nothing from the other has made this process the most revealing. Being able to assess situations with Christ as the center allows for growth and open communication without feeling attacked, needing to blame, or defend oneself. We go back to God as the one who has reign and rule over us.
ney. I’ve gone through many stages, and as marriage is on the horizon for me, I thank God for all that I have experienced thus far. I realize the struggles and the joys that come with being a young, single Christian in a world full of different views on how you should go about living your life. What I have realized is that the ultimate guideline is Jesus Christ. Besides, isn’t being a follower of Christ the As life continues to unfold for all of us, I essence of Christianity, anyway? pray that you seek God in all things. I I’m not writing a “How to” or “Ways to pray that you are able to submit your do” expose’. This is simply a charge to mind, body, will, and emotions to the model yourself after the ONE you claim leading of the Holy Spirit. I pray you are able to fully realize that all the Father to know intimately; Jesus Christ. We worship and adore God. He is the center has already belongs to you. I pray you of our lives. He is the ruler of our beings. are secure in your identity in God and He is our keeper, our strong tower. He is that who you are is found in Him. I pray our peace, the embodiment of love. He is the love of Christ overwhelms you and that He overtakes every part of your bethe Great I Am. I mean, who else can you say is your comforter, teacher, way ing. You are a child of God, and that is the ultimate relationship status. maker, the one who predestined you, lover, friend, redeemer, provider and Be encouraged, Lord? Only God; God the Father, God Victoria
Small is the Way to Win! The Temple Maintenance Ministry wants everyone to start small while we all journey to a healthier way of living in 2016. In order for momentum to last all year long and develop as a lifestyle, you will need to make small changes to your daily routine and eating habits. First, don’t quit everything at once or over commit to a workout regimen that is impossible for your schedule. If you have already done this, STOP…your will burn out before you see the results you desire and or keep your results. Next, set a large goal then scale back and make smaller goals to achieve the large goal. If you want to lose 30lbs., then you need to work to lose 13lbs. a week. Three pounds a week seems more achievable than thirty, right? Now once you’ve set you’re large and small goals, begin to take small steps to implement healthier food choices.
For example, if you don’t eat salads throughout the week, work towards adding two salads in your week. Don’t tell yourself you’re going to eat a salad every day, work your way up to that. After a couple of weeks, you will notice that you’re beginning to carve more greens than the junk foods you are used to. Feed your body the right things and your body will begin to crave what you feed it. This goes both ways, so be mindful to feed it more good than bad. Oh and one last thing, don’t weigh yourself every day, choose one day and make that your weekly weigh in. Remember, make a goal, start small to build the momentum, and don’t use it all in one month. -Britney Davis
COMMITMENT “The Way Our Love is Set Up” Patricia Lashley
The word LOVE is spelt C O M M I T M E N T in my personal dictionary. Commitment to our marriage first, then to each other! And of course commitment to our God who teaches us how to love (if we let Him.) Without commitment I don’t see how love can survive. It’s funny but looking back, commitment was the first thing my husband asked of me when we met and commitment was the first thing he gave me back then. He asked me if I would be willing to commit time, complete honesty and openness to developing a relationship between us, heading to possible marriage. He asked for a commitment to pray with him regularly for and about our possible relationship, for clarity and direction for each of us, to keep us on an even keel, and never doing anything together that would displease our God. With that question, Keith showed me the type of man he was and he showed me that he was purposeful, intentional and deliberate; qualities I had always desired in a husband. He showed me the strength of his character and the level of his commitment to God. For years I had been praying that God would send me a man, a husband, totally committed to Him, involved in ministry, likes to read, who could hang both on the corner and in the most elegant of places without stressing either. I prayed for a husband that would be spontaneous and romantic, one who would see past my defenses to the real me and love me anyway. I asked for a husband with a sense of humor, intelligence, generous, and giving; an unselfish man that’s thoughtful, one who would accept my two sons as his own, a man
who would let me in and let me love him for real. I asked God for a husband that would want a “normal” sexual relationship after marriage (after years of celibacy I was not prepared to marry and still be unfulfilled!) J I desired a gentle man yet strong enough to take the lead in our relationship (I am a strong forceful woman, I know I needed a strong man!) J Now was that too much to ask? J Everyone except my two sons thought so! Even they wavered sometimes and asked did I have to run off every man that even looked at me? J My friends and family told me I would have to make this man out of play dough as he did not exist! There were brief and not so brief moments I even considered settling for Mr. Almost Good Enough, Mr. Can Train Him to Be, Mr. He Loves Me So Much It’s Bound to Work and others that came close. But God never would give me the “go-ahead” I was seeking....until Keith! J After Keith and I were married, I asked God why it had taken so many years to bring us together. God’s answer was that I was not
ready. I would have destroyed our relationship ing, interspersed with moments of sheer happibefore it even got started. I had to be ready to ness! J That first year was a bit of a nightmare! be able to be with a man like Keith! J But our love for each other and that word Anyway, so Keith and I were married…and again – COMMITMENT - was what got us lived happily ever after! LOL! Yeah, I wish! J through that first year. Even in the midst of the worst fight, we never denied loving each other Our first year together was filled with and we maintained our commitment to our many totally happy moments, bliss and joy and marriage. We learnt to put our marriage – our love interspersed with some of the worst fights relationship – even in front of each of our own imaginable. There was yelling and shouting desires and as that first year passed we began and even some cuss words (from me, of to learn how to love each other. For real! J course) and even more yelling, and more fightOne of the sexiest things Keith did back before we were married is that he never tried to touch me sexually. I know that sounds like a contradiction; but for a woman who had always attracted a lot of advances from men, it was important to me that my husband sees me as a person first, not legs or breasts or any other body parts! J That self-control and commitment (that word) to Godliness helps me to trust him (even in spite of the fact that I still have trust issues with others) and not be concerned with him out of town on a regular basis. Keith respects me and shows me in big and small ways. I never have to ask where he’s been or what he’s doing. Even when out of state, or out of the country he texts me and lets me know where he is and with whom. I have never known him to lie! One of the sexiest things Keith does for me now is to listen. J Sometimes his listening comes with a funny rolling of the eyes and him drawing zig-zag lines in the air (he tells me I never miss a rabbit trail) J but he is always willing to listen. And it’s sexy! J
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I told him a story when we were first married that many many years ago I lost my favorite book of poetry and had since visited multiple bookstores as well as searched online for it. This poetry book was one of my texts in high school and I had come to love every poem in it. From time to time Keith asked me which poems were in that book and on long drives I would end up reciting bits and pieces of various poems from it. One day he came home with a neatly wrapped present. It was an old book. No dust cover and it had definitely seen better times. I opened it and ...I don’t know how he found it... he must have spent hours and hours looking... but it was a book of poetry! It wasn’t the exact same book but a different one with all of my favorite poems! Wow! That book remains one of my prized possessions! Remembering that book always reminds me of how much my husband loves me. It’s the way he pats my hip (always two pats) when I eventually climb into bed next to him, without even breaking his snore. J His falling asleep on the sofa so he can “keep me company” while I finish a project on my laptop; his delight in the smallest thing we do together. It’s not just the big gestures – but the little things – whether it is a special thing he does for me – or an unexpected touch or hug! Early on we both made a commitment (that word again) to always be
honest with each other, and to not give up on our marriage. And we work at it! I try always to let him know how much I appreciate his discipline and work ethic; I thank him for driving when we drive long distances together; I try to surprise him with stuff that he likes. Once for his birthday, I designed a treasure hunt unique to him that took him all over the house and back yard to find his treasure! When he’s in difficult and contentious meetings, I text him funny stories, short prayers, encouraging words, scriptures, anything that lets him know he’s not alone. Is Keith perfect? No, but neither am I. However I can say this unequivocally, Keith is perfect for me. God outdid Himself when He answered my prayer. I got what I asked for and then some! J
Not Just for Teachers Only… Here are some more study helps while reading the Chronological Bible Reading this year. Ask the Text: The 5 W’s and an H (Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How)
a particular person, people or nation? WHERE did or will this happen? WHERE was it said? WHY is something being said or mentioned? WHY would or will this happen? WHY at this time? HOW will it happen? HOW is it to be done? HOW is it illustrated?
Things to remember: Every time you study a passage of the These questions are building blocks of Bible, you should keep the 5 W’s and H in mind. precise observations and essential for Don’t worry if you can’t find the answer accurate interpretation. every time. When you come to a passage of scripThere are many types of literature in the ture, ask the following questions: WHO is speaking? WHO is this about? Bible and not all the questions will apply. WHO are the main characters? WHAT is the subject or event covered As you ask Who, What, When, Where, Why and How, make notes in the marin the chapter? WHAT do you learn about the people, the event or the teach- gins of your Bible (Purchase a Bible you can actually write in!). ing from the text? WHAT instructions Meditate on the truths God reveals to are given? you. WHEN do or will the events occur? WHEN did or will something happen to Think how they apply to you.
Discover New Life After Divorce Whitney Hopler Live It Editor
Divorce rips your heart and world apart. In the midst of such deep pain, it may seem that all joy and meaning in your life have ended along with your marriage. But God can use the tragedy of divorce to trigger powerful growth in you. If you turn to Him, He will give you the healing, encouragement, and new life you need. Here’s how you can discover new life after divorce: Accept what has happened. Don’t waste time and energy living in the past. Once your marriage has ended and your former spouse offers no hope of reconciliation, it’s time to accept your situation so you can move on.
late yourself from others; you especially need relationships during a crisis. Pray for God to bring a network of people into your life to support you in this time of need – family members, friends, church members, neighbors, coworkers, etc. Let people know specific ways in which you need help. Don’t be ashamed to ask for what you need; realize that many people genuinely care about you and are honored to have opportunities to help in meaningful ways. Ask for help with practical things like babysitting, meals, or home repairs. Talk and pray with others about your life. Seek professional help as well, from your pastor or a trained counselor. Join a divorce recovery group and/or have several friends encourage you and keep you accountable as you heal. Whenever you are able, return the favors by helping other people in need.
Accept yourself. Stop beating yourself up for your shortcomings that surfaced in the divorce. Understand that some selfreflection and improvement is healthy, but you should still embrace the fact that God values you and will continue to use you for good things in life. Be patient. Understand that it will take Renew your spiritual quest. Give God time to grieve the loss of your marriage. Give yourself extra time to rest as you your pain and ask Him to use it to bring about transformation in your life. Ask God heal. Don’t take on too many new commitments right now; reduce stress howwhat He wants you to learn from your current suffering. Rely on Him – instead ever you can. of yourself – for strength. Trust Him to Make some positive changes. Use your take you through the healing process. time well to start a new life. Make physiThank Him for His work in your life. cal changes like getting more exercise Find help from other people. Don’t iso- and eating a more nutritious diet. Make mental changes like studying a subject of
particular interest to you, reading more, and attending lectures. Make spiritual changes by changing the ways in which you worship God or by going on a retreat. Don’t blame God. Understand that, because of the sin in our fallen world, tragedies like divorce happen. Know that God grieves along with you. Acknowledge the choices you and your former spouse made that contributed to your divorce rather than blaming God for something He didn’t want to happen. Let God embrace you with His unchanging love and help you learn from your suffering. Forgive. Don’t let bitterness poison your heart, keep you stuck in the past, and block your intimacy with God. Be willing to forgive both yourself and your former spouse for whatever issues led to your divorce. Forgive any third parties involved, as well as any counselors, doctors, or pastors who couldn’t help save your marriage. Remember that God has forgiven you all, and He will make it possible for you to forgive. Realize that forgiveness doesn’t mean that you forget what has happened or offer approval to the offender. Understand that you can choose to forgive as an act of your will, no matter what you’re feeling. Decide to forgive, and rely on God’s power to do so. Clearly communicate your forgiveness to your former spouse and any other people involved, through a
face-to-face meeting, a telephone call, a letter, etc. But also remember that forgiveness is an ongoing process rather than a one-time event; draw on God’s strength to help you forgive whenever a situation dredges up hurt once again. If you’re a single parent, help your kids. Realize that divorce wounds children as powerfully as it does adults. Even though you’re hurting, reach out to your kids. Let them know that the divorce was not their fault. Give them large doses of love and support. Hug and kiss them often. Be there for their school events, games, performances, etc. Spend as much time with them as possible. Don’t let your kids manipulate you, and don’t relax your discipline because you feel guilty about the divorce. Maintain clear and consistent boundaries; doing so increases your kids’ sense of security. Understand that your children’s emotions will fluctuate, just like your own. Give them as much stability at home as possible. Establish and follow a regular routine. Celebrate special days together. Affirm your kids’ worth often – not just their accomplishments, but who they are. Wisely manage your relationship with your former spouse. Understand that, since you’re not married to your former spouse anymore, you are not responsible for his or her behavior. You don’t need to fix her flat tire or send him casseroles Continued on next page...
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with the kids. Establish healthy boundaries in your relationship. Never use your children as go-betweens to deliver messages, or as spies. Do your best to move on with your life by dreaming some new dreams and setting some new goals. Honor the financial arrangements you and your former spouse have set. If you are the person responsible for paying spousal support and/or child support, pay the full amount, on time. If you’re the person who receives spousal and/or child support, don’t continually nag, whine, or renegotiate for more money. If you don’t receive the full amount on time, calmly and quietly confront your former spouse with the issue. If he or she does not give prompt attention to the matter, simply contact your attorney and/or legal authorities to pursue it. Practice forgiveness often. Get beyond a narrow focus on yourself and your former spouse so you can see the big picture. Ask God to give you His perspective on situations and approach them accordingly. Pray for your former spouse and ask God to give you the best possible relationship with him or her.
Pray for discernment about when you’re truly ready to date -- or if God is even calling you to date -- and then proceed slowly and with caution. If you do begin to date someone, take the time to get to know each other well as friends before becoming romantically involved. Make sexual purity a top priority. Know what values are important to you, and refuse to compromise on them. Know what kind of person you want to date, and don’t settle for anyone who doesn’t fit the bill. Be honest with your dates – if you’re only interested in friendship, let them know, and if you’re looking for a longterm relationship, let them know that, too. Never hide the fact that you’re dating from your kids; let them know what’s going on. In your prayer time, ask God to show you what type of future He has in mind for you, whether or not it includes a new mate, and if so, what that person should be like. Relax and trust Him with your future.
Manage change well. As you dream new dreams and set new goals, start with small and specific steps to get you gradually closer to those dreams and goals. Be proactive rather than reactive as much as possible. Stretch yourself by taking risks. Don’t base your identity on Approach dating wisely. Establish a healthy identity that is based on who you anything other than who you are in are in Christ – apart from the presence of Christ, because everything else can be a date, boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse. taken away from you. Invest your time Don’t be desperate to find someone to and energy in more than one role in life date. Instead, determine to heal and (for example, not just as a parent, but grow so you can become the right peralso as an employee, friend, and volunson for someone else to date eventually. teer). Develop friendships with a variety of people – men and women, married and sin- Don’t try to hide from change by pouring gle, all ages – and enjoy them. your life into someone else; stay focused
on the personal work you need to do to grow. Take heart that God has promised to see you through change, be with you where you go, and offered to give you the power to change by connecting to Him through His Word. Ask God for a second wind. Pray for a renewed purpose in your life, reenergized direction, and revitalized energy. Be proactive about living your life by the Bible. Trust God to give you enough faith to overcome your fears. Make the right moral choices, no matter what your circumstances. Stick to your convictions. Learn lessons God wants you to learn while you go through a period of waiting. Appreciate the many good gifts God has given you. Make yourself available for Him to use in all aspects of your life.
Brought to you by: CMF Live Again Divorce Care Ministry Contact the ministry leader for more information at liveagain@centerformanifestation.com
What’s Love Got to Do with It? It’s that time again, let’s huddle up! There were at least four different Listen, I truly believe that LOVE can be Greek words that we translate as the and has been misunderstood. When you English word ‘love.’ hear a statement like “love hurts,” clearly a miscommunication has occurred. Let’s not EROS: This refers to sexual love. allow “Love” to be blamed for something STORGE: This is the type of love that’s not a part of His nature. As described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Love has a way of being, a pattern if you will. This scripture defines the characteristics of Love and it is also showing us the proper way to engage one another in conversation or relationships. So if this description of love can’t be seen in how you’re handling people, situations or even yourself.... “Love” isn’t the one you should blame. Love CAN BE tough! However, it is in response to behaviors that has proven to be unacceptable. Love can be tough, but it’s NOT what’s hurting you. When disciplinary actions are enforced, the hurt that one feels is because you’re being made to detach from something you have given value to that has been deemed unhealthy or unacceptable. It’s NOT “Love” that’s hurting you. What I want to do now is share a little bit of an article that gives us little more insight on the word “Love.” The following are excerpts from “Different Types of Love from the Bible” by Robert Driskell.
signifying the natural affection between kinfolk. PHILEO: As describe in the Strong’s Concordance, this type of love is “to be a friend to…fond of an individual or object; having affection for (as denoting attachment); a matter of sentiment or feeling.”
W s i l
AGAPE: This type of love describes God’s love toward us. It is, “… generally assumed to mean moral goodwill which proceeds from esteem, principle, or duty, rather than attraction or charm… it means to
like the “love” you give should be withheld because of the hurt you may be experiencing. Pain and anger are secondary emotions; find the true culprit and deal with it... put the blame where it belongs. I assure you, if you’re walking in the “love” of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, it will help you redefine what’s actually happening. I encourage us all to be more intentional when it comes to love as it is depicted in the word. 1 John 4:7-8 (NLT) Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
Love is beautiful by nature, and because we know God is love and He is ALWAYS good, we can’t blame love in its purest form to be the reason for the sufferings we may undergo. What’s “Love” got to do with it,” probably nothing at all when used in an improper context. “Love” is what keeps us and helps us get through our lows. It was “love” that kept Jesus on love the undeserving, despite disap- the cross. Let’s not displace “love” perpointment and rejection… sonified, the being who give us life and (Elwell, p. 1357). hope in times of heart ache and pain. He’s our oxygen! Let’s reacquaint ourselves We English speaking folk have the propen- with “REAL LOVE!” sity to use words out of its context and love These are my words for you, is one of those words. I want you to look a Big Sis Out little closer the next time you’re feeling Sonya.