April Issue #2 - The Voice

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APRIL ISSUE A year without god (page. 08)


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EDITORIAL What is your anchor? “You and the Hollywood Church were the main things keeping me Adventist, and even Christian, but now we don’t know what to think.” This is one type of response that former pastor Ryan Bell received after he turned from Christianity to atheism (see pages 8 & 9 for full interview). Some church members built the foundation of their spirituality and Christian identity in another person. But when the pastor, the one they looked up to for spiritual guidance, was in a spiritual crisis, several church members felt hopeless in their own spirituality and began questioning their identity as Christians. What would have to fall away for your identity to crumble? What is your identity anchored to? As future teachers, nurses, business workers, pastors and Macca’s workers (i.e. Arts graduates), we will be launched into a society that tells us that our career or what we are good at defines who we are. You’re a teacher. You’re a nurse. You’re a top footballer. You’re his girlfriend. You’re rich. You belong to this church. You belong to this institution.

Editor Lara Campbell Graphic Designer Jorden Tually Assistant Editor Charlotte O’Neill Writing Contributors Anita Gersbach Dayna Petrie Josh Wood Kenny Watson Laura Mitchell Lawson Hull Luke Heckendorf Mark Singh Mitchell Strahan Monique Graf Tara McIntosh Photo Contributors Elise Graf (Cover) Thanks to those who contributed over 250+ photos via #avondalexp.

The reality is that people you trust can let you down, injury can ruin your dreams, institutions can fail you, money disappears, employment is fleeting and someone will always be more successful than you in your career. When it all falls away, what have you got left to cling to? What is the foundation of who you are?

Special Thanks Ryan Bell Colin Chuang Pauly’s Pizza Brenton Stacey Cas and Jonesy findtheinvisiblecow.com Ugg boots

My identity needs a solid core, one that never falls away, no matter what surprises and disasters crash into my life (see Matthew 7:24-27). When my world is shaken and the foundations of my identity are in question, my anchor is Jesus—the unchanging, everlasting, solid rock.

No Thanks New speed bumps ‘Noah’ Facebook rage Compulsory Moodle forums No make-up selfies Cat poop

Lara Campbell The Voice Editor

The views and opinions expressed in The Voice are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent those of Avondale College of Higher Education.


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inside

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08_ A Year Without God

President’s Piece

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The Bachelor{ette}

Top Ten: Must Have ‘Avondale Experiences’ Before You Graduate.

15_ A Grammatical Knight Mayor 16_ Rant & Rave 17_ How To Survive That 8am Lecture

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#avondalexp

18_ While You Were Sleeping


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contributor corner Anita Gersbach Anita has never ‘officially’ been in Watson Hall and has cravings for parsley and orange juice. (Page. 16)

PRESIDENT’S PIECE It’s said that time flies when you’re having fun. Strictly speaking, this isn’t entirely true – yes, we’ve all had occasions when we’ve let the hours fly by in pursuit of happiness, but I’ve found that the best way to make time disappear is to cease to care about it, to set your life in neutral.

Josh Wood Josh farms fluff in his navel and wants to bungee jump from a plane over the Himalayas. (Page. 08)

Laura Mitchell Laura is an expert on Taylor Swift and knows nothing about fantasy basketball (Page. 17)

Luke Heckendorf Luke hates poor grammar, is super scared of snakes and hopes to one day referee in the NRL. (Page. 15)

April at College is one of those times. No one talks about it, because it’s not as exciting as making new friends in March, and (thankfully) much less stressful than assignment season in Mad May. But April has it’s own challenges. Often nothing big is happening, and by April you’ve settled in to a comfortable routine. Before you know it, the weeks have flown by and the month of May finds you staring four essays in the face. Don’t let that happen. Your time is worth as much to you as what you use it for, so take the opportunity to enjoy the next few weeks. Catch a movie or two, or put on a high tea or two. Explore – try and find out something about College you hadn’t known before. Most of all spend time with friends because this, more than anything, will be what we’ll look back on in the years to come.

Monique Graf Monique eats olives straight out of the jar and almost everything in her room is purple. (Page. 13)

Tara Mcintosh Tara is a terrible liar, is an expert on Scrubs and knows nothing about cooking. (Page. 16)

Mitch sometimes forgets how to use escalators, hates people stealing his food, and his party trick is his ability to put his legs behind his head.

Mitchell Strahan Student President


5 What do you think is the biggest challenge of our generation? Laziness! We are an intelligent generation that loves to speak up about the big issues, but aren’t willing to go and put in the hard yards that result in actual change. We can impact lives for eternity! Alex McAndrew One of the biggest challenges is social pressure and being able to hold your own opinions without letting others influence your judgement. Maddi Dutton Making good choices between the technology world, the physical world and the spiritual world. Sarah Watts Being lonely but being surrounded by people. Because of the social media we now have, we have more cyber friends than actual friends. Joshua Cady Having a generation so focused on technology that meeting face-to-face with other people can now become second choice to computers and smartphones. Martin Crabtree

It is the loss of passion to conquer a greater cause. Because of our comfortable environments, we are content with simply living good lives, instead godly lives. Kiran Roberts Communicating with people face-to-face. Justin Hunter Health choices! Our generation is surrounded by junk food. All those the late night Maccas runs and the deepfried variety on the Caf menu are slowly killing us all! Stephanie Donaldson Finding a country that will take Justin Bieber. Ashley Raymond Clawing our way up the social hierarchy. GenY craves identity: “You can be anyone you want to (as long as it fits within these parameters)”. Seriously? Wake up. Stand out. Shauna Shauna

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Vox Pop


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Interview_

THE Bachelor{Ette} Dayna Petrie

n. determined, loris, jedi.

Dayna is a lover of green tea, Pad Thai and anything written by

Dr Seuss. She was probably a Slow Loris is her past life.

What do you think is your most attractive feature? I like to call it ‘the conversation starter’. Come check out my elbow sometime. What is the most important thing in a relationship? Not having to explain your Star Wars references.

Who is the most eligible bachelor at college? Ladies, get keen as a bean for Callum Maclean! What do you look for in a man? During the process of scouting talent, I like to sit potentials at a computer with painfully slow Internet to see who they really are.

What age did you have your first kiss? For a long time I thought it was at 14... Until my dad whipped out a photo at my 18th birthday party of me and my brother mid lip-lock when I was about three years old. I don’t want to talk about it. What is your favourite love song? If someone were to serenade me with ‘When You Say You Love Me’ by Josh Groban... I’d probably marry them on the spot. What are you really exceptional at? I hate to brag, but I’ve become really good at swiping my student card while it’s still in my pocket. #jumpandtwist What are you terrible at? Number 1 rule about Dayna - never, ever, ever, ever ask me for directions. Ever. What is something that turns you off in a guy? There are two kinds of men in this world - the mullets and the clean cuts. #swag is for boys, #class is for men. Stay classy, men of Avondale.


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Kenny Watson n. adventurous & laid back.

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Kenny likes doing anything active and outdoors; in his spare time he likes to randomly scare people in dorms and put pens in Jared’s pillow case.

What is something about you that not many people know? My actual name is Kendrick, I am the youngest of seven and the uncle of nine nephews and nieces. What are you really exceptional at? I’m actually quite exceptional at taking photos with machetes and other sharp implements. What are you terrible at? Giving interviews, epsecially ones for The Voice. Blonde or brunette? Redheads mate, cause they are a little bit more crazy ;) What’s your signature dish? Pavlova. Because you can smother it with cream so no one can see your mistakes

Your most attractive feature? My moustache. What do you look for in a woman? Someone that loves God, has a good attitude towards life and is easy going. Along with having the essentials of looking like Natalie Portman and having a heart like Mother Teresa. What is the most important thing in a relationship? Mate, how would I know? I’m being interviewed for the Bachelor for a reason, right? Who do you think is the most eligible bachelorette at college? Avondale’s resident model for BWC. The one and only, Anita Gersbach.

What age did you have your first kiss? 20, took a while but it made me smile. As a veteran of Watson Hall, do you have any advice for the young lads and their love life? Don’t grow a moustache, be comfortable in your character and values, and remember personality outlasts looks. What is your favourite love song? Nothing is more uplifting than when you pump the chorus to Whitney Houston’s ‘I Will Always Love You’ as you scream along in the car with the boys. interviews by. Mark Singh (the Love Doctor)


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Feature_

A YEAR without God A former pastor’s journey into atheism. by. Josh Wood Ryan Bell’s story is one of gradual self-discovery. An almost 20-year tenure as a minister, most recently of the Hollywood Seventh-day Adventist Church, ended this past year when Ryan resigned from his pastoral role. He found it more and more difficult to align his beliefs with those of the denomination in which he was raised. So began a journey away from the church and from Christianity. Ryan’s devoting 2014 to “trying on” atheism. He’s documenting his experiences on his blog, YearWithoutGod.com, and answered these questions from The Voice’s Josh Wood. What leads an ordained Adventist minister to live ‘A Year Without God’? That’s a difficult question to answer but perhaps the most direct way to answer is to say that being an Adventist minister led me directly to this place. The church understands that its members have doubts but it cannot abide its pastors having doubts. Eventually

it began to take a toll on my relationships and my health. I came to a point in my life that the questions had to be given the space they deserve. What reaction has the Adventist church had? Do you have contact with church leaders in regard to your experiences? My former Conference President, Larry Caviness, phoned me not too long ago just to check on me and let me know he was praying that I would sense God’s presence in my life. He’s a kind man and his call was very much in keeping with how I hope Christians would behave in the world. But in terms of official response, there hasn’t been much. At present, do you see yourself as a Christian, atheist or agnostic (or a combination)? I can’t see myself neatly in one of these categories. On what basis can one say that there is a god? And furthermore, what difference does it make? These are the questions at the heart of my


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quest and I haven’t come far enough to declare any conclusions. Have you kept in touch with your former congregation (Hollywood Adventist Church)? How is your journey affecting them? I’ve kept in touch with individuals who have expressed a desire to be in touch. Some have expressed distress, but in the most supportive way possible. My choice confused some and disappointed others. People said things like, “You and the Hollywood Church were the main things keeping me Adventist, and even Christian, but now we don’t know what to think.” That is exactly my experience, in many ways — leading the Hollywood Church was what was keeping me Christian.

Do you feel you are truly experiencing atheism or simply anti-theism? Oh, I’m experiencing both! My goal, however, is to stand in the void. To stand in the painful emptiness of god’s absence; god’s silence. What has been the reaction of some so-called ‘Christians’? I can’t sort the ‘real’ Christians from the ‘so-called’ ones, but I can say that the reaction has been all over the map. I think the most hurtful response has been from Christians that I have known a long time—colleagues in the Adventist Church—who have said, “We part company here.” It’s surprising and hurtful, but those responses haven’t been the majority.

Can you see yourself returning to Christianity, Adventism or Pastoral Ministry? Not in any traditional sense. I don’t see myself being an Adventist ever again, nor do I see myself being an “orthodox” Christian. I could see myself in some sort of “pastoral” role among skeptics, doubters, atheists and secular humanists, but pastor is probably the wrong term. To read more about Ryan’s journey, or to follow his progress, visit his Facebook page ‘Year Without God’ or visit www.YearWithoutGod.com. Thoughts? Email the Editor thevoice@avondale.edu.au


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Photography_

#avondalexp Tag to be featured next issue! @thevoiceavondale

- Viema, Louella and Maddy taking selfies with their ravishing good looks.


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- The Canyoning Crew on an adventure in the beautiful Blue Mountains.

- Watson Hall Retreat spent Sabbath afternoon at Cathos beach.

- Ella-Boyd Girls being woken up and evctuated due to the fire alarm being set off.


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Top Ten: MUST HAVE ‘Avondale Experiences’ Before You Graduate Make the most of your time at college with this Avondale Bucket List. by. Monique Graf Avondale College: a place where youths live in hope of attaining a degree, but end up doing everything but study. Whether you are here for three or four years, or you become the classic seventh-year who’s gone through nursing, teaching, and “maybe-will-just-try” theo, there are some things you have to do in your time here*: 10. Jump off Swing Bridge. Risk contracting diseases and go for a leisurely swim in the shopping-trolley-infested Dora.

5. Pull an all-nighter. This means you actually stay awake for the entirety of the following day, and should probably include a late-night skate sesh. (Or not, if you’re finishing/starting an assessment). 4. Be involved in Chaffs. Outlawed, perhaps. Part of Avondale culture, certainly. Move a friend’s room outside, TP it, freeze their undies and/or fill their room with various substances. Just make sure it’s a friend who can hack it, and beware of revenge.

9. Go to Socials! The Rez, the Jac, Barn Dance, Variety Hour… get into them and meet that special someone, or just have a good time with great company.

3. Participate in something stupid. Whether this be an undie run, outdoor food fight, midnight swim in the pool, or a Watson raid — something that gets your heart pumping and your legs running from security is a must.

8. Play basketball. For those of you who think you’ve had the ‘Avondale Experience’ without playing a semester of basketball — you’re wrong!

2. Live in dorms. Half of these aren’t possible if you don’t.

7. Run. And by this I mean a Maccas run, or a Coles run, or whatever-kind-of food-run that you are in need of before bed.

1. Make lifelong friends. I suppose we won’t know if we’ve achieved this one until, well, the end of our life, but hey, why else did we spend all this money? *see the 2006 Jacaranda’s ‘Urban Legend Check-

6. Go on a spontaneous trip. Shingles, Morisset mental hospital, Warners Bay, Tuggs, Cathos, the Watagans, Sydney… who said we live in a country town?

list’ for more recklessness.

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A Grammatical Knight Mayor Bad grammar makes Luke [sic]. by. Luke Heckendorf As I turned on my television to watch the news, a headline caught my attention. Being an avid sports fan, I immediately noticed the words “Cronulla Sharks player Todd Carney denies any involvement in fight”. Carney had sent a courtesy Tweet to his loyal fans: “Hello fans and friends just spoke with the cops I was not involved in no fight tonight. More details to come tomorrow.” Growing up we’ve always been told ‘Two wrongs don’t make a right’. Unfortunately in this case, two negatives create a positive and if read correctly this statement actually tells us he was in fact involved in a fight. This poor grammar epidemic is not limited just to sportsmen. Most Australians speak only one language—that being English—although many would say we speak ‘Australian’ or ‘Strayan’. When a foreigner comes to this country and struggles to grasp the concept of sentence composition many Australians have a laugh because to them it sounds funny. It’s a serious issue when it is socalled ‘English speakers’ who perpetuate the use of incorrect English.

When hearing Australians who have English as their first language (‘Strayan’) and still make terrible grammatical errors such as “I didn’t do nothing”, “What would be funner?”, “I bought it from home” or (my all-time pet hate), “What are youse doing later?”, it makes me cringe. The lack of basic literacy skills among young people is an enormous issue, especially when it comes to students who are studying higher education at Avondale and other tertiary institutions. These students will be teaching the next generation with their poor grammar skills! To me, judging people by the way they talk is inevitable—I can’t engage in the sentence when I am bombarded with recurrent grammatical errors. Poor grammar can give a bad first impression and lead to the perception that you are uneducated. So the next time you compose a sentence, I ask you to think about what you are saying and use correct grammar. And try to catch me out on my mistakes too—if anything it will make me happy.

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REVIEWS_

Rant & RAVE RANT.

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“I’m already sick of Caf food.” I have been here for four weeks and the thing I hear people complain about most is Caf food: “They never cook it right!” “How bad was that lasagne today?” Wow, first world problem you’ve got right there! I think it’s definitely time for some perspective. Sure, we all have those days when you walk into the Caf and all you can think is, “Well, I guess I’m eating salad today...” But you get fed, every day, three times a day. Someone cooks for you, does the dishes for you; someone prepares a variety of fruit, vegetables, breads, salad, cereal and hot food (not to mention brunch!). Stop complaining. Tara McIntosh RAVE.

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I don’t know how ready some of you are to hear this yet, but I’m going to risk it. Every day begins with a sunrise. Pause and absorb the fact that the day does not actually begin at 11:30am, with the sun magically switched on halfway across the sky. Mind blown? Good. Because you’re going to want to experience this — a canvas of ever-changing movement and colour that no prodigy of mankind could ever replicate. And it’s on show every morning from around 6:30am. So set your alarm, set your friends’ alarms, throw a basketball at their head — whatever you need to do but get out there (and preferably to the beach) — because it’s just one morning of your life that will make you feel like you’re a living and breathing sunrise. Anita Gersbach


HOW to survive that 8am lecture Look out Bear Grylls, Laura is the survival expert when it comes to the dreaded 8am lecture. by. Laura Mitchell The guy next to you has gone back to sleep. Some chick in front of you is letting her freshly washed hair drip on your shoes. Someone is sneakily eating breakfast under the table, and another has just stumbled in with puffy eyes carrying an enormous cup of coffee.

2. Whip out your inner Mum. Be efficient. I suggest laying out your clothes and textbooks the night before. It will prevent turning up to class wearing your shirt inside-out, or worse, going to class in your pyjamas (*cough* primary teachers *cough*).

Welcome to 8am classes, where you’ll contemplate using toothpicks to hold your eyelids open, and only the mature age students turn up fully dressed and alive. Chances are, if your class is miraculously cancelled, your lecturer won’t send you a handy text to let you know, but rather will tape the notification to the door of the room.

3. Pound the alarm. It’s time to stop sleeping with your phone under your pillow! Try placing your phone (iPod, alarm clock, Gameboy, anything with an alarm on it) in faraway corners of your room. Thus forcing you to get out of bed and run around in order to turn it off.

Whether you’re that seemingly well-prepared mature age student, or the kid that clearly stayed up until 4am eating Mi Goreng, 8am classes are brutal. Here are some tips to get you through: 1. Turn up. Leave your wagging class days to Year Eight Maths. You’re a big kid now and you can surely attend class. Your presence is all you need to get those extra credit points!

4. Up & Go. Sanitarium’s gift to student-kind. If you’re looking for a cheaper (or more filling) option, grab Tupperware and make a pit stop at the Caf on your way to class. 5. The Buddy System. Whether you’re in dorms or off campus, find someone who has class at the same time and be accountable to them! And that’s how you hit those crack-ofdawn classes with a smile (and a heck of a lot of coffee). Good luck!

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While You were sleeping Charlotte has a passion for hot chips, and just potatoes in general. She is a self-proclaimed expert soup chef and loves a good board game. by. Charlotte O’Neill

“It is therefore with deep sadness and regret that I must inform you that, according to this new data, flight MH370 ended in the southern Indian Ocean.” Mr Najib Razak, Prime Minister of Malaysia, tearfully announced the fate of the mystery Malaysian flight. All 239 passengers aboard the Malaysia Airlines Boeing 777 have been declared dead. Satellite data shows the plane likely ran out of fuel before crashing into the sea.

Seeing Eye Dogs are not just for visually impaired humans, as proved by this adorably inseparable pair. Lily, a Great Dane, has been blind since a medical condition meant surgery to remove both her eyes. Since then, Maddison has been her guide and sight. “It was kind of bizarre but it was Newtown so I didn’t think it was that unusual.” Spotted at Newtown in Sydney: two water buffalo running loose. Sydney Uni student Rachel Manolo said she was walking to class when she saw the buffalo charging down King Street. The buffalo escaped from a film set in Sydney Park and ran two kilometres through the city before they were captured in Newtown.


“I’m here for my stoning. I’m a lesbian.” A lesbian woman has presented herself for stoning at the ‘World Missionary Church’ in Harlem, New York, in response to their notorious and highly offensive sign slogans. Jennifer Louise Lopez called their bluff by arriving on the church doorstep for stoning, only to be told by a church member to “Come back tomorrow”, as the stoner was away.

Founder of file-sharing website, The Pirate Bay, Peter Sunde, has plans to run for European Parliament from Finland, despite a pending prison term for facilitating illegal file sharing. Sunde’s plans largely involve decriminalising casual pirating and revamping copyright laws. “We have too much locked up forest”. Tony Abbott has reignited fury after calling for logging to expand in Tasmania’s forests. Following anti-logging laws administered two years ago, Abbott has asked the World Heritage Committee to remove 74,000 hectares from the World Heritage Listed forests covering about a fifth of Tasmania. Mr Abbott also blames the ‘Green ideology’ for Tasmania’s low employment rate and lower life expectancy.

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Despite criticisms of the request being a hoax, the Phillip Island Penguin Foundation’s call for penguin-sized knitted jumpers is legitimate. The rescue project rehabilitates penguins rescued from oil spills. The wool jumpers not only warm the penguins in transit to rehabilitation but also draw oil out of their feathers. The project has a 96% successful release rate, in partial thanks to these new knits. And it’s impossible to deny they look fantastic!


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