Wellspring Issue #67

AUGUST 2021 // ELUL 5781 // ISSUE 67

THE HEALTH MAGAZINE FOR THE JEWISH FAMILY

How to Teach Your Kids (and Yourself) to Eat Right What I’ve learned in the school of life

The Guttmans Weigh In How to ease every child back into school

Fresh Start at Living Right 6 back-toschool-inspired tips for those who’ve long graduated

Stomach Bloat SIBO is a likely culprit

The Nutrition Teacher You Wish You Had Fortune Terzi transforms her classroom into an interactive learning zone

That Time of Year Again What type of commitments are bound to last?

Lunch of Love 2 perfect meals

Home and Famished What to serve when they walk through the door

10 foolproof tips

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Lesson in Libby’s Lab

My Table

Prize or praise—what motivates kids more?

How we stock our kids’ lunch bags

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Editor In Chief Shiffy Friedman Deputy Editor Libby Silberman Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Bashy Halberstam, INHC Shaindy Oberlander, INHC Shira Savit, MA, MHC, CHC Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC Esther Fried, PFC Child Development Advisory Board Friedy Singer, OTR/L Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L Coordinating Editor Liba Solomon, CNWC Feature Editors Rochel Gordon • Rikki Samson Proofreaders Faige Badian • Meira Lawrence Peri Kahan

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The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.

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EDITOR'S NOTE

Live and Learn

A

t our weekly emunah shiur, the speaker encouraged us to get into the habit of doing something so simple yet so powerful: to find deeper messages in everyday occurrences. In everything we experience or observe, there’s a lesson to be learned.

“When my twin sons were toddlers,” she shared as an example, “one of them started walking a full six months before the other. During these six months, we walked the other twin down our hallway multiple times a day, back and forth, back and forth.” And every time the more advanced twin saw his brother being led by his parents down the hall, he scurried over to grab their hands too, vying for the support he didn’t need.

How little we know about the One who runs our world and why He does what He does. But like that child, we can rest assured that we’re in good hands.

Reminding ourselves of that message through the anecdotes that pepper our lives is one highly effective tool toward bolstering our much-needed faith.

It was actually one of the first tips I learned way back when I nervously prepared for my very first stint as a classroom teacher—to take advantage of the power of personal anecdotes to drive a lesson home. Come to think of it, I really did. Whether the subject was tefillah or yahadus or creative writing, there was nothing like a story to jolt my students into hyper-awareness mode, riveting their attention to my every detail.

This tip continues to work even outside of the brick-and-mortar classrooms I once spent much of my waking hours in. Whether it’s with my children or the women I teach in classes, and, perhaps most powerfully, when I want to remind myself of messages like this one, finding and retelling the anecdotes from my own life works wonders. And when we fo-

WELL-PUT

cus on finding these stories in the school of life, we live and learn. We find them everywhere.

O

n a similar note, if we pay attention, we will notice the messages our body sends us about the foods we eat and the lifestyle we maintain. As a general rule, with just a bit of listening in, we’ll be able to notice which foods and activities are good for us and which aren’t—which make us sluggish and which energize, which clear the mind and which leave us feeling hazy—how various food groups impact us, and what our body needs to operate optimally. (Which doesn’t mean we won’t continue to live and learn through our own mistakes—like downing a bar of chocolate just when we needed our brain to be most coherent!)

In this issue’s cover feature, Sarah Glaser, a young mother who struggled with feeding one of her children, shares with us the lessons she’s learned on her journey. It’s an informative, engaging read that provides food for thought not only in regard to how we feed our children, but also to how we feed ourselves.

Now that the back-to-school season is in full swing, those of us who’ve long graduated can take advantage of the momentum and join the learning culture, the perspective of finding powerful, meaningful, and helpful lessons in our everyday lives.

May the lessons we learn enable us to lead a happier, healthier, and more connected existence.

Kesivah vechasimah tovah,

n a m d e i r F y f Shif

If you find yourself wondering why the things you do don’t make any sense, try connecting instead of calculating. Your heart will tell you a lot more than your head.

Shira Savit WELLSPRING / ELUL 5781

13

CONTENTS

AUGUST 2021 ELUL 5781 ISSUE 67

16

Springboard

Our next issue, the expanded Sukkos edition, will appear on Tuesday, September 14th iy"H.

24

Spiritual Eating

26

Health Updates

WELL INFORMED

LIVING WELL

48

30

FYI

36

Fitness

39

Ask

61

Back-to-School Inspired Tips

70

Sample

80

Cup of Tea

86

The Functional Dietitian

WHAT I'VE LEARNED IN THE SCHOOL OF LIFE

WELLBEING

By Sarah Fraser

After a few red flags and comments from some concerned grandmothers, we realized something was not quite right. Hence began a long and complicated journey toward a diagnosis, followed by intensive treatment to work around that diagnosis.

111

SEASONED 14

WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2021

90 Emotional Eating 92

Child Developement

108 Inner Parenting

FAREWELL 147 Random

TORAH WELLSPRING WILL RETURN NEXT MONTH IY"H.

92 CHILD DEVELOPMENT

By Friedy Singer and Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L Starting a new school year makes for excitement, anticipation, and often, lots and lots of stress. For typically developing children, there are plenty of new things to get used to and a fair amount of anxiety—all the more so for children with neurodevelopmental issues.

WHICH COMMITMENTS ARE BOUND TO LAST?

By Shiffy Friedman When the inspiration hits, we start out with our undertaking armed with resolve and determination. But what happens as time passes? What will ensure that we remain committed to our pledge?

96

117 HOME AND FAMISHED

By Malky and Yossi Levine These quick, easy, and delicious pancakes make a perfect after-school snack (as well as a great breakfast option). Rich in protein, fiber, and omega 3s, they have everything your child needs to focus and reboot before or after a long school day.

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5781

15

SPRINGBOARD

On Fasting Tablets, Sourdough, Natural Skincare, and More

Caffeine Tablets Issue #66: Sample

Thanks for an informative publication. In the pre-Tishah B’Av issue, the writer of Sample mentioned a caffeine slow-release tablet. Where I can purchase this product? We would like to buy it for Yom Kippur.

L.P.

Their phone number is available through Wellspring. For readers who live elsewhere, the Spitzers may be aware of other locations where these tablets are sold.

An easy and meaningful fast to all.

More Than Just the Cream Issue #66: Feature

Libby Silberman responds: The tablets can be purchased in Boro Park from Family Spitzer.

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WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2021

Now that bit slower, opportunity publication

the I’m to par

pace of life is a finally taking the thank you for a excellence. I look

forward to each issue, curious about which topics you’ll explore and what information I’ll gain a better understanding of.

I especially enjoyed the recent feature on natural skincare because it never felt right to me to use harsh chemicals on a surface that benefits so much from gentle care.

I also appreciated that you brought attention to the holistic connection, of focusing not only on what we’re applying to our skin but also on what we eat and how we feel. For me, personally, I notice time and again how my skin flares up when I’m uptight, anxious, or just emotionally triggered. When we pay attention to this, we start to observe how deeply

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17

Quick Question

SPRINGBOARD

Question: My six-year-old son will be starting “real learning” this year. I’m concerned because his attention span is very short. Even during playtime, when we play an enjoyable, age-appropriate board game together, he loses interest after about only ten minutes of play. When I read him a book, the stories must be less than five minutes long for him to pay attention. Is there any natural intervention I can do to help him sit still in class?

Answer: While such children are quick to be labeled, which may or may not be appropriate, try working with him and his teacher to maximize his focus and ability to learn.

Your child may need to work with other supportive therapists and teachers, but if you’re exceedingly patient and non-critical, your input can make a significant impact. At home, continue to play games that he chooses and slowly increase the time you spend with him. Read books that he chooses to enjoy. If he can read on his own, allow him to read to you. For now, don’t correct his mistakes.

Make sure your child’s diet is as wholesome as possible, avoiding sugar and sweet drinks. Supplementing his diet with B-vitamins may be helpful as well.

The homeopathic remedy called Synaptol, which is now available in kosher form called Focus and Concentration, helps support improved focus, reduces irritability, and encourages expression.

A healthy school year to all of you, Miriam Schweid, health consultant and kinesiologist

connected our physical health is to our emotional world, which then encourages us to take proper care of our emotional self, as well.

With much appreciation, Elky B.

Baking Days Issue #66: Ask

I read Shani Taub’s response to the wife whose husband prefers her baked goods over the store-bought variety with much interest. You see, I’m in the same boat. Shani offered some excellent tips to the reader, and I appreciated that she pointed out the importance of focusing on changing only ourselves, which took me a while to accept.

Here’s what works for me in my home. I set aside a baking day, once per month or once every two weeks.

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WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2021

I choose a time that’s easiest for me to abstain from foods that aren’t good for me, for example, after I’ve had a satisfying meal or when I’m not tired or worked up about anything. I turn on music or a class that I love, and I bake up a storm. Incredibly, I get energized from smelling the delicacies and still choosing not to partake from them. It’s all because I’m in a positive state of mind. And that’s how our freezer and cookie jar get stocked.

Once the food isn’t just out of the oven, the temptation wanes. And, of course, reminding myself of why I’m doing this always helps. Nothing feels as good as feeling good does.

Lots of luck, Tamara W.

What I Appreciate Most General Feedback

I love your magazine! I came

across the Pesach issue and have been hooked since. I signed up for a subscription and I thoroughly enjoy every article. What I appreciate most is how you manage to integrate health into our Jewish lifestyle, projecting it all through a Torah-true lens.

Thank you, E. Cheshin

Thoughts on Shivah Issue #66: Cover Feature

Thank you for a very moving, timeappropriate read. I actually read the feature on mourning and loss just after having gotten up from shivah for my own mother, who lived a rich and beautiful long life. Death and separation are always painful, but I can’t imagine the pain these contributors experienced at their time of tragedy.

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Question:

I send my child to school with fruits and veggies every day, but they just come right back home. It’s like a produce boomerang. Should I start sending chips instead? That’s what my child wants!

Answer: This is a challenging one. You want to send your kids a message that fruits and veggies are great for energy to play and learn, but you also want to avoid sending a negative message about chips—a food that will most likely show up at the next celebration. You also want them to be full and satisfied after lunch, not hungry. So split the difference—consider sending one fruit and/or veggie and one bag of chips or pretzels or cookies. That fruit or veggie, even if it comes right back home, serves as a valuable food exposure. And remember that school is just one meal (and one or two snacks as well). Most of your child’s nutrition will come from the home, so focus on the messages you are giving there. Provide regular access to fruits and veggies with no pressure to take a bite. Enjoy a variety of foods at your family table and don’t worry about a bag of chips.

Health & happiness, Yaffi Lvova, RDN Yaffi Lvova, RDN, is a dietitian and food enjoyment activist who encourages positive nutrition through writing, speaking, and Nap Time Nutrition, her video blog and podcast.

Find out more at babybloomnutrition.com.

Pediatric Nutrition

SPRINGBOARD

the shivah were courteous and gracious. However, the one or two exceptions really stand out in my mind. The list you included of relevant halachos during this sensitive time are a must-read and I commend you for that.

May we only know of simchos, Ruthie Jacobs

Starter Question Issue #65: Sample

When should I start discarding from my sourdough starter? After a week of feeding it twice a day?

Leah Pollak Libby Silberman responds: As soon as the jar is full, or from days 3–4, whichever comes first.

Public Service Announcement A support group is forming for parents of children with CVI (cortical visual impairment). The major causes of CVI are asphyxia, perinatal hypoxia ischemia, developmental brain defects, head injury, hydrocephalus, and infections of the central nervous system, such as meningitis. This is a brain issue, not an eye issue, for which there is very little information and almost no support. We are looking for parents of children of CVI to meet, support each other, and exchange ideas.

Get in touch!

Wellspring invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@wellspringmagazine.com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.

20

WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2021

Any health information, advice, or suggestions published here are the opinion of the letter writer and are not independently investigated, endorsed, or validated by Wellspring. Always seek the advice of a qualified health professional or medical practitioner regarding any medical advice, condition, or treatment.

If you know anyone who may be interested, please send an email to releafhealing@gmail.com.

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21

SPIRITUAL EATING

By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

Eating to Satisfaction Is Truly the Greatest Blessing

“Ve’achalta vesavata uverachta es Hashem Elokecha— And you will eat, and you will be satisfied, and you will bless Hashem your G-d” (Devarim 8:10).

The verse in this parshah provides the essential framework for a Yid’s relationship with food: we will eat, we will be satisfied, and we will bless. A simple and clear understanding of what these three words mean will help us internalize the enormous depth of this commandment from our Creator.

First, to eat. The function of eating is to provide our bodies with the essential nutrients they need to survive. Rabbi Noach Orlowek teaches that we can determine the importance of something by the consequence we suffer if it is taken away from us.

If we’re missing our shoes, for example, we might stub our toes, but we will survive. Take away our coats, and we might get cold or wet, but we will survive. Take away our food—and we will die. It’s that simple. Hashem created

22

WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2021

the world in a way that a human being must eat in order to live. Therefore, eating—by definition—should be an act that brings health, vitality, and life to a person.

If we engage in an act of eating that runs contrary to that goal, we cause ourselves harm instead of health and are misusing the purpose of food that Hashem intended. “Overeating is like poison for anyone, and it is the primary cause of all illness. Most illnesses are caused either by eating harmful foods or over-

eating even healthy foods” (Rambam, Hichos Dei’os 4:15).

In fact, in Yevamos (40a), the Gemara states that “indulgent eating is not considered eating.”

This brings us to the second word in the passage: to be satisfied. What is the Torah telling us to satisfy? Our indulgences? Our desires? Our physical pursuits of immediate gratification?

Hardly. We are commanded to eat in order to satisfy our body’s need for nutrition and sustenance—to provide us the energy and wellbeing to do our avodas Hashem.

The Mishnah Berurah discusses this explicitly, warning us against eating and drinking to excess (170:22 [45]): “One should eat and drink only to support and to give health to the body to prepare it for the service of the soul…By doing this, every meal becomes a seudas mitzvah.”

Eating healthy is not intended to be dull, boring, and tasteless. A seudas mitzvah is supposed to be a joyous and pleasurable occasion. Therefore, we should make choices that are good for us and taste good—in the proper amounts. If healthy food is not our first inclination, we need to change our inclination. If we don’t like the taste of healthy food, we should work on expanding our taste buds to start enjoying healthy choices. If we tell this to our children, we certainly have to live this way ourselves.

Shlomo Hamelech famously writes, “A tzaddik eats to satisfy his soul, but the stomach of the wicked will [always] be lacking” (Mishlei 13:25).

Continuing in the sequence of the passage, once we have satisfied our nutritional needs, then we thank Hashem for the gift of sustenance that keeps us alive. Birkas Hamazon is the Torah source for all the blessings we make on food. Chazal gave us a myriad of brachos to make before

and after we eat. They fall in the category of birchos hanehenin, the brachos we recite prior to having hana’ah from Hashem’s pleasures.

From the prohibition of deriving any hana’ah from chametz on Pesach we understand that hana’ah does not only refer to actual eating. Rather, the prohibition means not being able to “benefit” in any way from any leavened products. We’re not allowed to feed them to our animals, make money from them, or use them as kindling for fire.

Whereas the word “pleasure” means a temporary physical enjoyment, the word “benefit” means to receive a greater and longer-lasting gain.

Applying that concept to food, we see that Chazal didn’t merely require us to thank Hashem before eating something that tastes good. The brachah is an acknowledgment that we are about to consume a substance that will give us the ultimate benefit in the physical world—health and vitality. There’s no greater hana’ah than that.

However, if we take the awesome and irreplaceable gift of food Hashem so benevolently bestowed upon us, and abuse it for our own desires and gratifications—which can lead to chronic and fatal maladies—wouldn’t this in some way contradict the blessing we just recited? And might we consequently forfeit our ability to make a concluding brachah?

“When one fills up his stomach with excessive eating and drinking, even if he does it for the sake of a mitzvah, for example Shabbos or Yom Tov, he has transgressed three prohibitions: ‘Guard yourself,’ ‘Lest you forget,’ and ‘Don’t make yourself disgusting…’ Therefore it is prohibited to bless Birchas Hamazon after [such a meal],” writes the Piskei Teshuvos (170:25), quoting the Sefer HaGan. Eating to satisfaction is truly the greatest blessing.

Rabbi Eli Glaser is the founder and Director of Soveya. He is certified as a Nutrition/Wellness Consultant and Weight Management Specialist, with 25 years of coaching and counseling experience, and is maintaining a 130-pound weight loss for more than 16 years.

Soveya has offices in Lakewood and Brooklyn, and works with clients via phone and Skype around the world. For more information or to make an appointment, contact Soveya at 732-578-8800, info@soveya.com, or www.soveya.com.

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5781

23

UPDATES

By Bracha Kolman

Is Weight Loss Impacted by Age? No, Latest Research Suggests While we often assume that losing weight is harder later in life, a new study published in Clinical Endocrinology concludes that this is not the case. That’s an encouraging piece of news for older adults hoping to reap the health benefits of maintaining a healthy weight.

For the study, a research team in an obesity program conducted at a hospital in the UK analyzed the medical records of 242 randomly selected people who had participated in the obesity service offered by the Warwickshire Institute for the Study of Diabetes, Endocrinology, and Metabolism (WISDEM) program between 2005 and 2016.

The researchers divided the cohort into two groups: people under 60 and people aged 60–78. All participants had morbid obesity at the outset, with BMI measurements of 24

WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2021

over 40. The analysis compared weight-loss outcomes in the two groups and found that weight loss was unaffected by age, with statistically equivalent results for people younger and older than 60. Subjects in the older group lost an average of 7.3% of their body weight, while those in the under-60 group lost 6.9%.

Senior study author Dr. Thomas Barber, the scientific lead of the Human Metabolism Research Unit at the Warwick Medical School in the UK, says, “Weight loss is important at any age, but as we get older, we’re more likely to develop the weight-related comorbidities of obesity. Many of these are similar to the effects of aging, so you could argue that the relevance of weight loss becomes heightened as we get older, and this is something that we should embrace.”

2 CUPS FLOUR, 1 CUP SUGAR, 3 EGGS, PLUS A TABLESPOON OF TALENT!

And if you think baking is just for fun, think again. Think of the sensory benefits of working with dough, the pouring of batter, the heavenly scent of culinary delights tickling her nose... Think of the planning and organizational skills gained by sorting ingredients.

Think of the measurements, following instructions and cleanup involved in completing a recipe. And think of the joy, the boost of confidence your teen can attain by indulging in delicious cookies, pastries and other goodies she created with her own hands.

At Talent for Teens, your teen will be treated to the wholesome experience of cultivating her talents and her self-esteem. With a myriad of skills to gain from each activity, plus a wonderful social haven, she is sure to blossom into a talented, capable young lady!

Girls ages 15 +

YES, SHE CAN!

For more info, please call us at tmiller@rayim.org | 845-376-9156

Services: • Art • Baking • Exercise • Year-round Swimming • Social Skills Curriculum

School Break starting August 17th

Hours of Operations: After School, Sundays & School Break

Employment opportunities available.

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5781

25

UPDATES

Just Five Minutes Short breathing exercise enough to support heart health In the US alone, 65% of adults over age 50 have above-normal blood pressure, putting them at greater risk of heart attack or stroke. Yet fewer than 40% meet recommended aerobic exercise guidelines.

A recent study published in the Journal of the American Heart Association provides the strongest evidence yet that the ultra-time-efficient maneuver known as high-resistance Inspiratory Muscle Strength Training (IMST) could play a key role in helping aging adults fend off cardiovascular disease—the nation’s leading killer.

“There are a lot of lifestyle strategies that we know can help people maintain cardiovascular health as they age. But the reality is, they take a lot of time and effort and can be expensive and hard for some people to access,” says lead author Daniel Craighead, an assistant research professor in the Department of Integrative Physiology. “IMST can be done in five minutes in your own home.”

Developed in the 1980s as a way to help critically ill respiratory disease patients strengthen their diaphragm and other inspiratory (breathing) muscles, IMST involves inhaling vigorously through a hand-held device that provides resistance. Imagine sucking hard through a tube that sucks back.

Initially, when prescribing it for breathing disorders, doctors recommended a 30-minute-per-day regimen at low resistance. But in recent years, Craighead and colleagues have been testing whether a more time-efficient protocol—30 inhalations per day at high resistance, six days per week—could also reap cardiovascular, cognitive, and sports-performance improvements.

For the new study, they recruited 36 otherwise-healthy adults ages 50–79 with above normal systolic blood pressure (120 millimeters of mercury or higher). Half did high-resistance IMST for six weeks and half did a placebo 26

WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2021

protocol in which the resistance was much lower.

After six weeks, the IMST group saw their systolic blood pressure (the top number) dip nine points on average, a reduction which generally exceeds that achieved by walking 30 minutes a day five days a week. That decline is also equal to the effects of some blood-pressure-lowering drug regimens.

Even six weeks after they quit doing IMST, the IMST group maintained most of that improvement.

“We found that not only is it more time-efficient than traditional exercise programs, the benefits may be longer lasting,” Craighead said.

The treatment group also saw a 45% improvement in vascular endothelial function, or the ability for arteries to expand upon stimulation, and a significant increase in levels of nitric oxide, a molecule key for dilating arteries and preventing plaque buildup. Nitric oxide levels naturally decline with age.

And, remarkably, those in the IMST group completed 95% of the sessions.

“If aerobic exercise won’t improve this key measure of cardiovascular health for postmenopausal women, they need another lifestyle intervention that will,” says Craighead. “This could be it.”

The research group is currently developing an app to enable people to do the protocol at home using already commercially available devices.

Those considering IMST should consult with their doctor first. But thus far, IMST has proven remarkably safe, they said.

“It’s easy to do, it doesn’t take long, and we think it has a lot of potential to help a lot of people,” says Craighead.

FORWARD, BACK AND TURN AROUND OH, WHAT A TURNAROUND!

Oh, what a turnaround you’ll see in your teen as she joins our team at TALENT for TEENS. And if you think dancing and exercise is just for fun, think again. Think of the coordination and balance training she will gain with each kick and jump. Think of those strengthened muscles and those wonderful endorphins released as she hits the roof, literally (well, almost).

Think of the rhythm that’s involved, the memory that’s flexed and the stamina that’s built with every stretch. And, what about the self-esteem that’s boosted as she bounces away, spirits soaring!

At Talent for Teens, your teen will be treated to the wholesome experience of cultivating her talents and her self-esteem. With a myriad of skills to gain from each activity, plus a wonderful social haven, she is sure to blossom into a talented, capable young lady!

YES, SHE CAN!

Services: • Art • Baking • Exercise • Year-round Swimming • Social Skills Curriculum

Girls ages 15 +

School Break starting August 17th

Hours of Operations: After School, Sundays & School Break For more info, please call us at tmiller@rayim.org | 845-376-9156 Employment opportunities available.

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5781

27

UPDATES

Tip

12 in a series

Well Spent

4 School-Snack Budget Tips With the school season back on the horizon, it’s time to stock those pantry shelves again with kid-friendly snacks that will last them through the day. Here are four budgetfriendly tips to nourish the young learners right.

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1. Bulk Shopping

3. Homemade Snacks

You’re best off purchasing snacks in bulk, either at wholesale food stores or when a particular item goes on sale.

Prepare nourishing, flavorful snacks like popcorn or whole-grain muffins as a family project. These foods are not only more economical but usually more wholesome as well.

2. Avoid Waste

4. Packaging Counts

To avoid finding entire uneaten packages at the bottom of your child’s bag days after you put them there, have your child pick her own snacks from the pantry every day.

To encourage your kids to eat the healthier snacks you prepared for them, spend the extra minute or two to make the packaging more exciting. Even adding a smiley face or a short note to a plastic bag of pretzels or baby carrots can make a difference.

WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2021

RED AND ORANGE, GREEN AND BLUE COLORS BLEND INSIDE ME TOO!

And how they do. Because every person is a world of color, and a work of art.

And if you think painting is just for fun, think again. Think of the different brushstrokes on a canvas, and the deft movements each takes. Think of the spatial awareness gained, plus the knowledge of colors and how they blend.

Think of the attention to detail involved, and how that would help her tune into the details of the world around her, making her life more meaningful. Think of the therapeutic qualities of working with paint, soothing for the soul and nurturing for the mind. Just picture her stepping back and marveling at her very own masterpiece!

At Talent for Teens, your teen will be treated to the wholesome experience of cultivating her talents and her self-esteem. With a myriad of skills to gain from each activity, plus a wonderful social haven, she is sure to blossom into a talented, capable young lady!

YES, SHE CAN!

Services: • Art • Baking • Exercise • Year-round Swimming • Social Skills Curriculum

School Break starting August 17th

Girls ages 15 + Hours of Operations: After School, Sundays & School Break For more info, please call us at tmiller@rayim.org | 845-376-9156 Employment opportunities available.

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5781

29

ALTERNATIVE VIEW

BY FAIGY SCHONFELD

CANDIDA MILLIONS OF PEOPLE THE WORLD OVER SUFFER FROM SEEMINGLY RANDOM AND UNHAPPY SYMPTOMS LIKE RECURRING YEAST INFECTIONS, CHRONIC FATIGUE, AND DIGESTIVE PROBLEMS. THREE OUT OF FOUR WOMEN EXPERIENCE A YEAST INFECTION AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIVES. NUISANCES LIKE RASHES, HEADACHES, BLOATING, AND MORE CAN BE UNNERVING TO PEOPLE, YET MANY DON’T REALIZE THAT WHAT LIES BEHIND IT IS CANDIDA.

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WHAT IS CANDIDA OVERGROWTH? Yeast infection—also known as thrush or candidiasis—is a medical condition that results from gut bacteria gone out of whack. This develops when Candida albicans—a naturally occurring fungal organism (or yeast) present in every body—grows out of control, and its cells overpower the beneficial bacteria in the GI tract.

Candida generally resides in the mucous membranes of the intestinal tract, mouth, and throat. But when overgrowth occurs and the intestinal flora becomes imbalanced, candida starts to poke holes through the intestinal tract and makes its way into the bloodstream. Once there, it can make its way into any organ or area of the body. And here’s the cherry on top: candida emits over 70 different toxins into the bloodstream.

WHAT’S BEHIND IT? Nowadays, it’s well known that antibiotics don’t just kill the bad guys—they also destroy the good ones, such as bifidobacterium and acidophilus, both of which are bacteria necessary for inhibiting the growth of candida.

So taking antibiotics—especially for a prolonged time— may often be the culprit. Another common cause is a diet too high in carbs and sugars (beneficial bacteria thrive on fiber, while candida feeds on glucose), as well as a weakened immune system. Sometimes, the root cause may be emotional, in which case following an approach that incorporates emotional healing (and there are many of those!) may be a good idea.

CANDIDA AND INFLAMMATION: Inflammation is a hot topic these days. Researchers of inflammation, as well as drug companies, are all scrambling to find a drug to treat this beast. Actually, inflammation is a good thing—it’s the body’s first defense against infection.

But when it goes awry, it can lead to practically every kind of painful symptom or illness under the sun.

When candida gets into the bloodstream, it releases a host of chemical toxins. Try to imagine what bundles of toxins can do to the immune system. Any foreign chemical in the bloodstream can trigger an inflammatory response, possibly resulting in a wide array of problems. Symptoms associated with candida are fatigue or dizziness, thyroid issues, hormonal imbalance, sugar or alcohol cravings, numbness, tingling, digestive issues, acne, insomnia, shortness of breath, acid reflux, skin fungus, joint pain, bad breath, food allergies, sore throat, spots in front of eyes, infertility, autoimmunity, Crohn’s, eczema, acne, and so many more.

Weight gain too, is common when yeast overgrowth is present. When the body attempts to dilute the inflammatory toxins created by yeast, it results in fluid retention.

Eventually, toxins and fluid buildup can cause cellulite and weight gain. Yeast also produces gas, which may cause bloating that can increase your waist size by as much as six inches.

Yet, yeast overgrowth is not always recognized as a responsible party in our current inflammation epidemic.

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5781

31

ALTERNATIVE VIEW

DIAGNOSIS There`s no lab test or X-ray that can one hundred percent diagnose candida overgrowth, and many doctors are not trained in diagnosing or treating the disease. However, a trained naturopath or integrative MD can provide an accurate diagnosis based on symptoms, patient history, stool test, and/or a trial of an anti-candida regimen.

CANDIDA— FIGHTING FOODS 1) Cold-pressed coconut oil Probably the best plant-based fat for candida prevention, or even as a cure, is coconut oil. It contains a powerful antifungal agent, caprylic acid, that directly kills the candida yeast. You may consume up to three tablespoons per day.

2) Garlic

WHERE TO BEGIN

Garlic is popular for its numerous health benefits—and for a good reason. A fresh clove is high in a biologically active compound called allicin. This is a strong antifungal with the ability to kill off an array of pathogens, including Candida albicans. Eat two raw cloves each day or buy supplements in a tablet form.

3) Almonds The most popular way of treating candida infection is by using a multifaceted approach to control or manage the disease. Most alternative health experts will introduce a low glycemic diet, low in simple carbs and processed foods, while focusing on consuming plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables, gluten-free grains, and good-quality proteins. Combined with diet, probiotics and antifungal supplements are often recommended as well.

Reducing stress levels is also important (think yoga, meditation, or deep breathing). Getting enough sleep and regular exercise is also on the list. These are just basic ways of pumping the body with the nutrition and energy it needs to awaken its incredible innate powers to naturally restore and heal itself.

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Almonds are a great addition to your diet, for both their prebiotic properties (that improve digestive health by increasing levels of beneficial gut bacteria) and as a fabulous source of alkaline protein.

4) Cayenne pepper Cayenne pepper has been used for its medicinal properties for centuries. It improves circulation and metabolism, which is super important for curing candida overgrowth.

Other foods that nourish the good bacteria in your gut include low-starch vegetables like celery, cabbage, asparagus, cucumbers, cauliflower, brussels sprouts, kale, onions, raw tomatoes, zucchini, and spinach; protein-rich foods like (organic) chicken, eggs, wild-caught salmon, and sardines; as well as low-sugar fruits such as berries and limes. Healthy fats like avocado, low-mold nuts and seeds, such as sunflower seeds, and antibacterial foods like apple cider vinegar, are also recommended.

STAY AWAY

Candida is a yeast, so it’s important to steer clear from foods that can feed yeasts.

1) Alcohol is a fermented beverage that is converted into sugar once digested and metabolized by the liver.

This sugar doesn’t have nutritive value and can aggravate yeast problems.

2) While caffeine doesn’t feed yeast, it changes blood sugar levels and may aggravate candida.

3) Condiments such as ketchup and sauces are usually high in sugar and preservatives that can feed candida.

Avoid white vinegar, which is also fermented.

4) Dairy products like milk, cheese, and some yogurts can worsen candida overgrowth. If you can’t go without your yogurt, choose plain yogurt without added sugar. Milk and cheese are also full of lactose, a type of sugar that causes bacterial imbalance.

5) Grains such as barley, rye, and wheat are digested into simple sugars that can feed yeast. Even quinoa and rice, which are gluten-free grains, may be problematic.

6) Legumes, high-mold nuts, and seeds—some nuts, like pine nuts and walnuts, have a higher natural mold count. Cashews, peanuts, and pistachios are also offenders.

7) Nitrates and sulfates are additives often found in deli meat and jerky. Since these foods are preserved, they have a higher mold count, thereby causing a bacterial imbalance.

8) Refined fats like canola oil and margarine are deprived of nutrients and overly processed.

9) Sugar in every shape and color is a no-no on an anti-candida diet. Once sugar is digested, it is broken down into simple glucose molecules that feed candida at a cellular level.

10) While following a candida diet, try to limit high-sugar fruits like bananas, citrus, and mango, as well as dried fruits.

Stick to these nutritious foods and avoid refined and sugary junk, and your body will b’ezras Hashem restore its bacterial balance. Let your food be your medicine and get rid of yeast infections once and for all.

HOME REMEDIES While the following suggestions are no replacement for a proper treatment that addresses the imbalanced gut flora and weakened immune system, they have been used effectively to tamp down on symptoms and offer relief.

For internal yeast infections, a good brand of colloidal silver, taken by mouth, may work quickly. For external or vaginal yeast infections, combine silver with a few drops of tea tree oil and aloe vera gel and apply topically.

When applied externally, it’s good to keep the area moistened with colloidal silver and tea tree oil for several minutes and repeat the application 2–3 times daily until the infection is gone. Some claim that bentonite clay can actually pull candida off the intestinal walls.

Also, since boric acid acts as a mild antiseptic and has antiviral and antifungal properties, inserting boric acid suppositories each night can relieve the maddening itch of a vaginal yeast infection. Don’t exceed 14 days. Some suggest inserting a cloth dipped in organic non-sweetened yogurt that contains active cultures for 30–40 minutes.

For prevention, it’s a good idea to apply colloidal silver and tea tree oil every week or so.

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5781

33

ALTERNATIVE VIEW

CANDIDA DIE-OFF You cleaned up your diet, got off gluten, and started your supplements. But instead of feeling better, you’re experiencing such fun things like brain fog, nausea, headaches, and more. Kind of like seasonal allergies. Chances are you’re feeling symptoms of “candida die-off,” also known as a “Herxheimer reaction.” This may happen when harmful bacteria in the body die off, releasing endotoxin-like products. (Endotoxins are toxins within bacterial cells that are released when a cell dies.) These endotoxins may trigger inflammation and autoimmune responses and bring about a variety of symptoms. The most common symptoms are headaches, sinus infections, stuffy nose or sore throat, irritability or anxiety, digestive issues such as nausea, bloating, or constipation, dizziness, sweating/fever, skin breakouts, insomnia, swollen glands, chills and aches, and soreness in the abdominal area.

If you’re experiencing candida die-off, it’s a sign that your body is temporarily inflamed. Metabolites, as well as proteins and inflammatory cytokines, are circulating in your bloodstream, causing you to feel rather crummy.

This reaction may also occur when treating conditions like Lyme disease and other infections.

Symptoms of candida die-off may appear within days or weeks of making dietary changes and/or taking supplements. The good news is that symptoms will usually clear up within three to ten days. After a few weeks on a healthy diet, you should notice more energy, as well as relief from other candida symptoms.

Here are some tips to help manage symptoms: 1) Alter your diet gradually and start with a lower dose of probiotic or antifungal. (Still, some people do best by going head-on into a candida cleanse. Consult with a certified dietician before making any dietary changes.)

2) Don’t give up your new eating habits.

3) Supplement to support your immune system. Glutathione, ALA (alpha lipoic acid) and NAC (N-acetylcysteine), curcumin (contains the anti-inflammatory turmeric), quercetin, probiotics (50 billion units daily), bentonite clay (surrounds and removes toxins), milk thistle (supports the liver, which filters out toxins), garlic (two caps or cloves daily, helps fight fungal infection and boosts immunity), vitamin C (1000 mg, 2–3 times daily, supports immune system and fights infection), magnesium (to treat constipation), omega-3 fatty acids (helps reduce inflammation), adaptogen herbs (such as ashwagandha, which helps fight illness, fatigue, and stress). These supplements help manage inflammation, move out endotoxins, and replenish the good bacteria in your GI tract.

4) Harness the healing power of essential oils. Many essential oils are helpful in getting rid of fungi and parasites, and also boost the immune system. Clove and oregano oil, taken internally, are popular. Oregano oil has both antibacterial and antifungal properties. (Essential oils should only be taken internally for up to ten days.)

Myrrh oil, lavender oil, and tea tree oil can be applied to skin to ease rashes and itching.

5) Try to reduce stress. It is energy-depleting and not especially therapeutic for your immune system. Try to get enough sleep, and invest in self-care goodies like yoga, massage, an Epsom salt bath, or a sauna. These promote relaxation and are beneficial for circulation and your lymphatic system.

6) Keep an eye on your symptoms. If they are persistent, consult your healthcare provider to rule out any underlying conditions.

BE-ALL AND END-ALL While a plethora of physical and emotional treatment options do exist, there’s only one Source of power in this world. Thank Hashem for your struggles and ask for help getting out of them. That’s always the way to go.

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Try them sizzling hot, stacked with your favorite toppings.

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WELLSPRING / ELUL 5781

35

FITNESS

6 EXERCISES to Help Your Sensory Baby

By Tzirel Rubin

The word “sensory” has become cliché nowadays, having been attributed to a host of symptoms displayed in so many children.

So when I took my seven month old who wasn’t yet “swimming” or turning over to a physical therapist, and an evaluation ruled out any physical issue but pointed toward a sensory issue, I was baffled. After all, my baby hadn’t been displaying any notable sensitivity to light, sound, touch, taste, or smell.

The therapist explained that my baby might be experiencing inner sensory issues— not to be compared or confused with the outer sensory issues most of us are familiar with. Since my baby wasn’t feeling her hands and feet, she wasn’t using them, leading to developmental delay. After a couple of sessions of intense exercises that provided lots of sensory input, I saw significant results.

Here are some of the best moves we did together, many of them recommended in The Out-of-Sync Child by Carol Stock Kranowitz.

Even babies who don’t display outer sensory issues may benefit from the directed stimulation. Doing these exercises twice daily is recommended for optimal results.

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Hugging Embrace

Rotations

Wrap your two hands around your child’s right arm, above her wrist—“hugging it”—and have your hands “sink” into her skin. Count until 10 and move up to the next part of her arm, covering all the surfaces until her shoulder. Repeat on the left arm. Do the same for the legs, starting on top of the ankle and moving until the hips. Place your hands under your child’s arm and do the same from the abdomen, down the stomach. Repeat this three times. This exercise is one of the most crucial moves for children with sensory issues. It provides them with a strong sense of security and helps them “feel” themselves.

Hold your baby facing you, with her legs wrapped around your waist. Do a 360-degree rotation, without lifting your feet off the ground—just glide. Repeat this three times.

Grasp activity When you hand your baby a pen, she should grasp it. If she doesn’t, wrap her fingers around the pen, and hold them closed around the pen for 30 seconds. You can do this using your finger too.

When your baby is already grasping your finger, move your finger back and forth to strengthen your baby’s grasp.

Moro reflex exercise Lay your baby down on her back on a flat surface in a star position, with hands and feet outstretched, slightly bent. Then gently scoop her up in a fetal position and hold her in that position for 10 seconds. Wrap her legs around your waist, with her hands around you as in a hug, and put her head down on your shoulder. Repeat three times.

Increasing sensory input When your baby is on her stomach, whether on a bed or on the floor, pull her carefully by her legs across the surface. This will provide her with lots of sensory input.

In a similar vein, whenever you’re holding your child, bend down as if picking up something from the floor, and turn your baby upside down as you are doing this.

Swinging your baby in a swing provides the same type of exercise. This helps your baby to understand and feel her body in space, which in turn helps her feel her limbs, enabling her to use them properly.

Bouncing Bounce your baby in any position, on any surface, whether sitting and holding her or on a bed or pillow.

Most of these activities are most effective for children aged two months to two and a half years, but they can be adjusted according to age.

Sensory motor integration is what allows us to use our body without thinking about it (for example, knowing how high to lift our legs to step out of a bathtub) and being able to move in a balanced and coordinated way. Here’s a checklist to help determine if your child’s behavior may indicate a more serious sensory motor integration issue.

If your baby displays several of these behaviors, you may want to have them evaluated by a professional.

• Resists being held or cuddled • Arches when being held, or even when lying on their back • Doesn’t fall into a predictable sleep/wake pattern, or has difficulty staying asleep for more than 30 minutes at a time.

• Is afraid of position change or has a difficulty performing a position change (from sit to crawl, crawl to sit, etc.)

• Is distressed when moved suddenly or when entire body is tipped • Is distressed when moving in space (swinging, being thrown in the air, etc.)

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37

She’s your

everything.

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* No significant difference has been shown between milk derived from rbST-treated and non-rbST-treated cows.

WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2021

ASK THE PEDIATRIC NUTRITIONIST

By Yaffi Lvova, RDN

Q

I’m concerned about my daughter. She is 10 years old and extremely picky and sensitive to certain foods. There are some foods that cause her to gag or complain about an itchy throat.

These foods include fruits and vegetables—she prefers starchy foods like pretzels, crackers, and cookies. Recently, she gagged and coughed while eating pasta—on two different occasions!

She coughed for several long minutes and brought up mucus as well. I suspect some sensory issues. I’m not sure what the problem could be or the right approach to help treat it. I would appreciate any professional input.

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5781

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ASK THE PEDIATRIC NUTRITIONIST

Thank you so much for this question. It sounds like you’ve been on quite the journey with feeding! As a pediatric dietitian, I evaluate the overall diet for nutritional adequacy and guide parents toward creating room for creativity and food play while maintaining a pleasant atmosphere at family meals. Often, situations occur where I need to reach out to colleagues for help from different professional angles.

When I hear “gagging” (past toddlerhood), coughing while eating, and sensory concerns, I know to call either Hana Eichele, occupational therapist and feeding therapist, or Elisheva Weiner, speech therapist and feeding therapist. We can work as a team to address complex feeding concerns.

Hana advises starting with a visit to an airway-centric ENT, which may be helpful for exploring the possibility of an underlying infection or other underlying conditions. Structural abnormalities such as enlarged tonsils and/or adenoids, asthma, and deviated septum are among the reasons a child may experience difficulties while eating. An ENT will also evaluate any upper airway issues that may present an obstacle to an enjoyable meal.

According to Elisheva, from the description in the question, it sounds like there is a sensory component to this feeding obstacle. When a child (or adult for that matter) bites into something that isn’t a preferred food—one that has a taste or texture that is not pleasant to that individual—the brain may register the bite as unsafe to swallow. This elicits a gag reflex to prevent the food from entering the digestive tract. This could be a factor. But sensory hypersensitivity is more than just a simple dislike of a food. Imagine you bit into an orange and it felt like a cactus on your tongue. That would approximate the feeling a sensory-challenged child may experience when exposed to any of the five senses. It’s not merely unpleasant, but completely unmanageable and overwhelming.

Another possibility, says Elisheva, involves a feeding-skill obstacle—if the child isn’t chewing softer, chewier foods well, such as the fruit or pasta mentioned, that could also trigger the gag reflex as a defense mechanism to protect the airway.

Either one of these scenarios could be causing the feeding concerns and limited (picky) eating. Elisheva says that this is a potential chicken-and-egg situation where either problem could cause the other. A child may not fully chew a food they dislike, 40

WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2021

and a lack of chewing skills may cause the child to dislike the food.

With this question specifically, it would be wise to look deeper into the throat itching, which could very well indicate a food allergy. Allergic reactions to food can get worse with each exposure, so it’s essential to identify the foods causing the reaction and eliminate them from the diet. Allergy testing is a possibility, but it’s important to get a comprehensive allergy test, including both IgG and IgE reactions. This test will catch anaphylactic food reactions, as well as other types of allergic reactions—skin reactions, gut reactions, and more.

This child may be best served by a one-on-one consultation with a feeding therapist. This professional will work with the parents and child to help identify the source(s) of the feeding concern.

In fact, any time a parent is uncomfortable with their child’s nutrition or feeding, they can contact a pediatric dietitian, speech therapist feeding therapist, or occupational therapist feeding therapist. Parents often feel that their children could be doing better nutritionally, and they should not hesitate to consult a professional who can guide them toward confidence in both food and parenting at the table.

How can feeding therapy help? The feeding therapist guides the child toward feeding confidence by teaching the child basic feeding skills necessary for food enjoyment! A feeding therapist will teach oral feeding skills by using play and food-based games to increase the child’s oral strength and range of motion. If a child has sensory obstacles, the therapist will cater the plan toward the child’s needs, gently working to increase the amount and variety of food accepted by the child. Children often develop negative feelings toward food as a result of their struggle with feeding obstacles. The feeding therapist, while teaching the essential basic skills, will help the parents create positive food experiences, improving the overall mealtime routine and supporting a positive relationship with food.

Signs that your child may be having feeding difficulties • Sensory processing disorder, autism, or other neurodivergence • Certain behavior disorders • Failure to thrive or other growth concerns • “Picky” eating • Negative mealtime behaviors (tantrums or “shutting down” during meals) • Feeding-tube dependence • Formula or bottle dependence past age one • Persistent gagging or difficulty swallowing • Difficulty transitioning from one texture to another: from bottle feedings to purees; from purees to soft solids or mixed-textured foods • Struggling to coordinate food in the mouth • Frequent vomiting during or after eating • Feeding time takes longer than 30–40 minutes

Yaffi Lvova, RDN, is a dietitian and food enjoyment activist who encourages positive nutrition through writing, speaking, and Nap Time Nutrition, her video blog and podcast. Find out more at babybloomnutrition.com.

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5781

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HOME AWAY FROM HOME

COMMUNICATED

For When a Pe Needs a Home A

A Visit at Children’s C

There’s no place like home.

But when home isn’t a realistic option, whether for the short or long term, every infant, child, and teenager experiencing a medical challenge or crisis deserves to be ensconced in the softness and stability of a home away from home. And this is exactly what the staff, residents, and family members at Children’s Center at the Phoenix consider it to be. It’s where nurses are smiling and singing friends, therapists are patient and encouraging teachers, and medical personnel are optimistic advocates. It’s where each child is not just a patient, but a world of unique personality and potential.

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ediatric Patient Away from Home

Center at the Phoenix

By Libby Kasten

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5781

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It’s about a promise of innovation and expertise.

When the Phoenix Center acquired the children’s facility in 2020, we vowed to revamp the existing center from the pediatric skilled nursing facility it was to a haven of innovation, healing, and wellness for young patients facing debilitating illness.

The natural outcome of recruiting an amazing team of renowned doctors and medical advisory board, as well as therapists, nurses, and dedicated social workers and dieticians, is a family-centric approach to facing and dealing with medical hardship and making decisions together.

It’s about the care of our precious children.

And when our children are involved, good will never be good enough. That’s why we focus on the collaboration of renowned pediatric doctors, therapists, and specialists to assess, treat, and celebrate each child’s personal challenges and growth. With services ranging from pediatric brain injury, wound, respirator, and ventilator care; respite care; physical, occupational, speech, and language therapy; as well as educational and recreational programs—both on site and in community schools, the center is equipped to successfully care for both acute and long-term medical and behavioral crisis.

Centrally located in Haskell, New Jersey, with easy access to all prominent hospitals in the tristate area, the Children’s Center at the Phoenix is a 92-bed skilled nursing facility, replete with a state-of-the-art respiratory care program.

Caring for children from newly born to 21 years old, the Children’s Center provides both short- and long-term care, as well as respite services.

It’s about the entire patient.

Because, while dependent on vital technology, medication, and therapy programs to heroically face each day, we appreciate that the young, fun-loving kids at our center thrive on the creativity and skill that multisensory recreational activities offer. The variety of art, craft, sensory stimulation, pet therapy, and musical activities the children enjoy, with the stimulating direction of expert recreational assistants, have proven to enhance their quality of life and independence, and reduce or eliminate the effects of illness and disability. Horticulture, pony visits, monthly birthday parties, exercise programs, trips, and library hour make daily life for the children eventful and fulfilling. Using an integrated approach of viewing each patient as both a child and a child who requires medical assistance ensures that all of their individual needs are being met.

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Along with medical excellence, the ambiance created by renovating the campus to a child-friendly, full aquatic design theme contributes to the renewed vigor and positivity with which the team of caregivers and patients at the Children’s Center at the Phoenix face each day.

It’s about a single-minded goal; providing children with the nurture, care, and passion needed to grow, heal, and develop despite facing debilitating illness, while affording peace of mind for the patients’ families.

It’s about keeping frum patients’ unique needs top of mind.

In the frum world especially, child placement is fraught with emotional uncertainty and practical obstacles. That’s why the Refuah Program at the Children’s Center is a game changer. This initiative includes, first and foremost, the assurance that all staff at the center are educated and sensitive to the nuances and diversity of Yiddishkeit.

A rabbi on site, Bikur Cholim room and Shabbos accommodations, complementary transportation and Refuah concierge services, and availability of kosher food are some other amenities designed to provide the highest standard of care to frum residents and their families, making them feel at ease while at the center.

It’s about peace of mind when you need it most.

When caregivers are in need of a vacation or are dealing with an emergency that prevents them from being there for their loved one, our respite care services are there to provide the crucial reprieve. The only pediatric skilled nursing facility to offer respite services, our interdisciplinary team is here for you whenever the need arises, fully equipped to accommodate all your child’s medical and emotional needs.

The Refuah Program A unique initiative making the Children’s Center at the Phoenix a frum-friendly residence, the Refuah Program has made all the difference for families seeking appropriate placement for their children.

A Word with Scott Weissman, Refuah Program Coordinator Hi, Scott. Can you tell us a bit about what prompted the Refuah Program’s initiative?

We saw the need for a place where any Jewish family could feel comfortable placing their child, because putting a child into a facility in general is very scary. The word “nursing home” is usually associated with the elderly, so placing children in such a place can be frightening. What this project means is that there is frum programming behind the scenes and that there is someone—me—whom parents and family can speak to at any time, who understands what they are like and exactly what their distinctive needs are.

Wow, that sounds like a huge accomplishment.

What kind of feedback have you getting from the program?

There’s been lots of positive feedback, baruch Hashem. I’ve been involved since December and have received a lot of positive comments from families, many of which had children in the Center before the program began. They all have my personal cell number and can reach out whenever there is any concern or need. I am there for them as only someone who understands them can be.

Do you have any other message you’d like to share?

Often, I get very close to the families of frum patients I deal with. I’ve learned from experience how, because of the close, trusting relationship we share, I end up discussing a lot of different things with these families, and this enables me to more effectively service their needs.

Thank you for your time. May you be able to continue helping frum patients and their families with this amazing program!

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It’s about what patients’ families are saying.

“We have seen many facilities, and they were good—but at the Children’s Center at the Phoenix, it feels much more, and it feels like family…We hope and are sure to have a great family relationship by taking care of him TOGETHER.” It’s why Shlomo Fuhrer, the grandfather of a patient we adored, took the time to let us know: “My grandson received exceptional care. I was really amazed at everything the wonderful staff did for our family. I would highly recommend this place.”

It’s why Moshe Geller says of his conviction that he chose the right facility for his child: “The staff is truly one of a kind! They go to great lengths to ensure the patient and family are happy. Right from the start, we were amazed at the devotion each and every staff member displayed. Such a compassionate team; so giving. We were lucky to have our son cared for by these wonderful people.

He got great therapy and they showed such love to him. We were constantly informed of any changes in his care plan and the nurses patiently answered our questions over the phone. His room was really neat and he got so many toys! Choosing this facility was a smart choice!”

It’s what the experts are saying, too.

The incredible results of the annual New Jersey Department of Health Survey were the natural outcome of a team of caregivers who are completely committed to enriching the lives of the residents and children we serve.

Here’s just a sampling of comments from the state surveyors: “I am very impressed with the pediatric unit. I can see that all the staff really adore and love the children,” and, “Everyone works so well together and the patients are receiving great care.” It’s a true testament to the compassionate care that is provided to our residents each and every day.

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It’s because we care enough.

Enough to go the extra mile to gradually and sensitively coax a young teenager who had been through a horrific accident to cooperate with therapists, relearn to walk, and overcome the emotional effects of the trauma. It’s how she is currently back home with her family and friends as a healthy young adult. Enough to snuggle and cuddle a newborn patient who was unable to breathe on his own, playing his favorite music so he beams and giggles as he matures. It’s how he is now off the ventilator for a couple of hours each day, and happily cooperates with his daily physical, occupational, and speech therapists. It’s why Ed Peters, our beloved director of the respiratory department, has a young patient waiting impatiently at the door to his office each morning to greet him.

It’s how each day, milestones are celebrated, and little people are embraced by the love and warmth of those who truly care for them.

Spotlight on Dr. Kenneth Lieberman Chief of Pediatric Nephrology at Hackensack University Medical Center And Professor of Pediatrics, Hackensack Meridian School of Medicine As one of the nation’s first pediatric centers to offer dialysis and kidney care, the kidney and dialysis department at the Children’s Center at the Phoenix, led by the world-renowned Dr. Kenneth Lieberman, boasts a team of specially trained doctors, nurses, social workers, and dieticians. Dr. Lieberman is the acclaimed Chief of Pediatric Nephrology at Hackensack University Medical Center and the DaVita Medical Group, and is affiliated with the Hackensack, Jersey Shore, and Palisades Medical Centers. At the forefront of medical advancement in the field of pediatric nephrology, his leadership of our team at the dialysis unit means the children at our facility benefit from up-to-date and compassionate care, on site.

The feedback and recommendation Dr. Lieberman’s patients share all speak of the compassionate, expert, and patient-focused care they receive.

Philosophy of Care Dr. Lieberman’s Philosophy of Care, in His Own Words

It’s about making the right choice for your loved one.

Be in touch for any further discussion: Alexandra DeLuise Director of Admissions 1433 Ringwood Avenue Haskell, NJ 07420

In my over 40 years practice of pediatric nephrology, I have found what children with complex kidney disease and their families need, above all, is empathic medical care. This includes always answering all their questions as well as listening to and addressing their individual needs. Respect for the patient is my core value. This is what patient-centered care means to me.

Providing my patients with state-of-the-art kidney care includes both cutting-edge diagnostics and therapeutics. I strongly believe that a physician should constantly be at the forefront of knowledge in his field in order to deliver the best patient care. This includes producing scholarly works, participating in cutting-edge clinical trials, as well as attending and participating in national and international symposia. Teaching at all levels of medical education is a necessity.

Under my leadership, the nephrology division has been able to participate in clinical trials with unique and effective therapies—available at few other medical centers.

C. 908-907-7136

Hospital Affiliations

O. 973-839-2119 x137

HMH Hackensack University Medical Center

F. 973-839-3007

HMH Jersey Shore University Medical Center

adeluise@phoenixcrp.com

HMH Palisades Medical Center

www.phoenixcrp.com -

In Conversation

Scott Weissman

How long have you been at The Children’s Center at Phoenix?

Assistant Administrator/ Director of The Refuah Program

It’s been a year now.

1433 Ringwood Avenue Haskell, NJ 07420

What do you feel is unique about the Kidney and Dialysis department at the facility?

The availability of pediatric dialysis for kids at the Center is exclusive.

Phone: 516-581-9455

What has been your overall impression of The Children’s Center’s leadership?

sweissman@phoenixcrp.com

The staff at the facility are both highly dedicated and supremely professional.

www.phoenixcrp.com

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5781

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How to Eat Right: What I’ve Learned in the School of Life

One family’s journey toward healthier eating habits

By Sarah Fraser 48

WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2021

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First, here’s my disclaimer: I’m not a dietitian. I have no qualifications in this field, but the school of life takes you on interesting journeys and you learn things along the way. Or, as my mother likes to say, “Sometimes Hashem leads you by the hand, and sometimes He pulls you by the nose.”

As a kollel wife and mom of three who has experienced her fair share of food-related challenges in childrearing, I’m practically considered a “guru” in promoting good eating habits in children and am often asked for advice.

So, here’s your opportunity to learn from my journey.

Early Lessons My story, which is far from over, is no simple one. As a young mother, I thought our gorgeous Miri was doing just fine. She was my oldest, after all, and I was admittedly pretty clueless. After a few red flags and comments from some concerned grandmothers, we realized something was not quite right. Hence began a long and complicated journey toward a diagnosis, followed by intensive treatment to work around that diagnosis. After running the full gamut of evaluations, through which our daughter gained a few additional letters after her name, these now-highlighted issues required serious attention. We began exploring the hamster wheel of therapies, desperately running all over the country to receive the best possible care.

Although Miri’s primary issues were predominantly developmental (social, speech, and physical), it was no coincidence that in addition, her many gastric symptoms and food-related issues were part and parcel of her problems, which is typical for such children.

She had severe reflux and would purposely regurgitate. She disliked touch on her hands and face and would constantly overeat.

Miri also had a very limited repertoire of foods she would agree to eat (think pasta, pasta, and more pasta). She was like a bottomless pit, seemingly never satisfied.

Gaviscon, Omeprazole, Ranitidine—the whole gamut—just weren’t working. Although we started with a food diary, we began to see that Miri’s difficulties were not about the foods per se; it was her eating habits that seemed to be conditioning and reinforcing her issues. It became apparent that these habits needed a complete overhaul. In fact, what we had initially assumed to be purely gastrointestinal issues turned out to be entirely behavioral in cause.

Below is a compilation of different pieces of advice we received from various professionals that eventually became part of our dayto-day approach to Miri’s—and all of our family’s—eating. With the help of Hashem, she is currently doing very well. Though I can’t say the same about every aspect of her development, we have managed to turn her eating habits around; today she no longer struggles with her previous food-related issues.

Here are ten top tips from the experts that worked for us—and the many happy people who followed the same advice.

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1. Stop the Excessive Snacking We all know those kids (and adults) who graze continuously throughout the day, enjoying their never-ending snack time and never sitting down for a proper meal. Not surprisingly, they rarely feel satisfied. Snacks certainly have their place— they can help neutralize dips in blood sugar and provide a quick energy boost. Still, balance is crucial. If you want your kids to eat the chicken and rice you lovingly prepared, they need to have built up an appetite. As creatures of habit, kids have an awesome body clock, and routine really works.

Eating at regular times with small, built-in, healthy snacks in between will ensure your children have an appetite at supper.

It takes some organization, but it’s worth it in the long run.

And yes, if you’re late for supper, they’ll eat cereal.

THE RESEARCH According to a study in the late 1970s conducted by Barry Popkin, PhD, professor of nutrition at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the average child between the ages of two and six ate one snack per day between meals, while today they typically eat almost three. “Snacks are important because kids have a smaller stomach and high energy needs,” says Katja Rowell, MD, a childhood feeding specialist known as The Feeding Doctor. But “when kids are allowed to eat all day, it robs them of the chance to ever develop an appetite,” she says. And it can make things worse for picky eaters. “If kids aren't coming to the table at least a little hungry, they’re not as willing to try new foods.”

Obesity experts now believe that frequency of eating, not just bigger portion sizes, is also to blame for the uptick in calorie intake for kids and grown-ups alike. In fact, it’s possible that childhood obesity is driven by as little as 165 extra calories a day for kids aged 2–7, say researchers at both Harvard and Columbia universities, including Jodie (Jo Ellen) Shield, MED, RD, LD, coauthor of Healthy Eating, Healthy Weight for Kids and Teens from the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics.

That’s roughly the amount in a handful of potato chips.

2. Start Small It’s an oft-repeated mistake. Parents get inspired, jump on the health bandwagon, and ditch the pizza and fries for grilled fish and brown rice. The kids walk in and turn their noses up. If they’re younger, they’ll simply tip the fresh food to the floor and gleefully squash it, much to the dismay of their hardworking and well-intentioned mom. Out come the Cheerios. Epic fail. The next time you even mention fish, they all gag.

Perhaps this mother could have started with battered fish that resemble her schnitzels, and some delicious fresh fries. In that case, everyone would have been less hangry (hungry+angry). A bit of ketchup might help too. Your kids are now eating fish!

Imagine how frustrating it is to come to a meal hungry, only to be faced with an unfamiliar food or foods you have long disliked. Always introduce something new alongside an old favorite. Back to my Miri’s love affair with pasta—we slowly decreased her pasta portion, never removing it entirely, and slowly but surely she began to eat more of the alternatives. It took time, though, which brings me to my next point.

THE RESEARCH Research indicates that we’re much more likely to be successful at changing our habits if we take things one step at a time. “Try to gradually incorporate new habits over time, and before you know it, you will be eating more healthfully and losing weight,” says Keri Gans, MS, RD, American Dietetic Association spokesperson and a nutritionist in private practice in New York.

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3. Don’t Give Up Too Fast The fact that your kids didn’t eat your roasted cauliflower the first time they saw it doesn’t mean they never will. Research has found that children need to see a food 10 to 15 times before they’ll consider it familiar and become brave enough to add it to their repertoire. That takes a lot of patience on Mom’s part! And if your toddler is anything like mine, lots of dirty floors too.

Still, the effort will pay off. Eventually, kids who are given their space and time will become more adventurous eaters. Chances are they’ll make you proud as they happily lick their plates clean from your unconventional kiddie food.

THE RESEARCH This is one of the tips recommended in Healthy from the Start by Claire Lerner, LCSW, and Rebecca Parlakian, a compilation endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics that explains “how feeding nurtures your young child’s body, heart, and mind.”

4. Meals Are for Connection, Not Combat So many positive associations are centered around food.

Think family parties, Shabbos, Yom Tov, melaveh malkah, or date night. Many happy times share the common theme of coming together over some good food.

When mealtimes become stressful, we just want to avoid them. Your negative feelings about getting supper down your kids’ throats will be reflected in their attitude.

To keep mealtimes relaxed, remember that this is not the time to criticize.

Forcing children to eat is never a great idea in the long run. Rather, gently encourage them. Remember: this is not personal, so don’t make it become that.

For me, it also means being prepared. When the kids sit down for their meal, I sit down next to them and give them my full attention. Even if you’re not eating with them, use the time to encourage everyone to talk about their day and to share and enjoy each other’s company. I still remember coming home from a long day at school and how my mood would lift when something delicious was waiting on the counter.

Here’s a trick for busy moms: if supper isn’t quite ready when your kids arrive, try setting at least one ready-to-eat food out on the table—even some sliced cucumber is better than an empty table.

THE RESEARCH “Mealtimes must never become a battle. Anxiety is an appetite suppressant,” says Ellyn Satter, MS, RD, LCSW, BCD, an internationally recognized authority on eating and feeding.

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5. Give Them Their Independence

6. Mindful Eating

Children crave autonomy and independence. The battle may start because of a particular food that the picky eater is rejecting, but often, it’s a power struggle. When they’re not given enough control, little ones will do their best to claim it—often through tantrums, defiance, and other behaviors that challenge our patience as parents. By giving your little one control over when he chooses to take a bite, how much he puts in his mouth, and when he’s done eating, you’ll meet his innate desire to “do it all by myself.” Ultimately, a parent’s “control” at mealtime is an illusion.

As tempting as it is to serve the kids supper in the bath or park and leave the mess there, running around with a schnitzel in one hand and half a pita in another while simultaneously tackling the climbing frame is not the best eating habit to cultivate.

Offering different food choices is always great—and you can’t go wrong with a platter of fruit on the table. I watch my kids all choose different foods to start with, but by the end, they’ve usually sampled a bit of everything.

Picture Mom schmoozing on the park bench, shoveling mindless spoonfuls into her baby’s mouth without any thought or connection. That’s akin to an adult opening the family-sized package of chips and finishing the whole thing, never remembering having taken a single bite.

However, don’t offer a second dinner to a whiny kid or a kid who threatens about the dinner. Kids pick up on what’s up for negotiation even before you do. I grew up on “we don’t negotiate with terrorists.” Even if they don’t eat their fill, close the kitchen and offer something new for the next meal.

THE RESEARCH “The battle may start because of the green beans, but most of the time, for the picky eaters, it’s not the green beans, the peas or even the elusive dessert that’s upsetting them,” explains Dina Rose, PhD, a sociologist and author of It’s Not About the Broccoli. “A lot of the time, it’s a control struggle.”

Besides being unhygienic, or worse—your fresh chicken landing in the sand box—in your child’s mind, the meal simply never happened.

Plated food equals portion control and that’s good for us all.

Try encouraging your kids to slow down and chew their food properly, focusing on the eating and nothing else. They’ll feel fuller, and mindful chewing aids digestion.

Mealtimes should have a beginning, middle, and end. There’s no need to make kids lick their plate clean. Once a kid says they’re full, you don’t need to challenge them. When they’re satisfied, there’s no better place to stop.

Don’t we all wish we had this training?

THE RESEARCH In research published in Diabetes Spectrum (2017), study author Joseph B. Nelson writes that “an increasing number of health professionals are coming to believe that mindful eating can make a difference in helping individuals with diabetes change their eating behaviors.”

In Today’s Dietitian (2013), Cheryl Harris, MPH, RD, cites various studies that link mindful eating to weight loss and/or healthier eating habits. Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think by Brian Wansink, PhD, offers excellent information and many practical strategies to avoid mindless eating.

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Mini-Lessons

7. Start Them Young: Baby-Led Weaning In a nutshell, baby-led weaning is the concept that Mom takes a step back and lets Baby take charge. Forget the familiar scene of spooning in mush while making airplane noises. Rather, with this method, Mom places a variety of different appropriate finger foods (think peas, small soft cubes of squash, or mashed banana) in front of Baby for her to experiment with, and to discover the way from her hand to her mouth. If you let this happen, you’ll notice that Baby will eat.

With incredible benefits to babies, this method is gaining popularity across the globe. Primarily, it gives the baby the chance to explore and feel the different foods, textures, and aromas. It promotes good hand-eye coordination, and boosts their feeling of independence, making them more likely to eat more and to have a broader palate of tastes when they grow up. Babies also become more in touch with their feelings of satiety, which is linked to reduced obesity.

But here’s the kicker: you’ll have to get over the initial mess! (An unclothed baby and a plastic mat under the highchair can really help.) As someone who avoids mess in the first place, this was a tough one for me (read, opportunity for growth, hmm).

On advice of people older and wiser than myself, I stood back, watched, ignored the mess, and even tried to smile, but I saw the magic. My baby, who previously was only slightly interested in solids, started loving mealtimes. Gone were the days of cajoling, begging, and walking away depleted, feeling like a failure. I’ve shared this tip with other mothers, who were amazed—they saw the magic too!

THE RESEARCH According to a study conducted in Brazil and published in Pediatria (2018), children who were introduced to solids on a BLW approach were reported to be significantly less food-responsive, less fussy, and more satiety-responsive compared to the traditional weaning group. The authors found that toddlers who had followed BLW had lower mean body weight than the spoon-feeding approach.

- Certain foods are an acquired taste, but, for the most part, if healthy foods are presented in an appealing way, kids will eventually take the risk and try them. My kids call crumb-coated zucchini “cookies.” (Have no fear; they know the real deal too!)

- Many parents err in thinking that healthy eating is to the exclusion of treats.

Children can very quickly learn, as adults already know, that they are not mutually exclusive. We all understand that treats have their time and place. But they are just that—a treat and not a filler.

- Many adults who eat for comfort have a deep-rooted association with food as a pain-reliever. “Oh, it hurts?

Here, have some chocolate.

It’ll make you feel better.”

There are other ways to soothe children too.

- Kids are little adults. We don’t enjoy eating mush either. If you want your children to be interested in what you’ve prepared for them, the food has to look appetizing and taste good. I don’t try to feed my kids anything I wouldn’t want to eat myself. If you wouldn’t eat the leftover cholent for dinner on Tuesday, it’s unfair to expect them to do so.

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When It’s Real While my Miri’s reflux was predominately behavioral in cause, reflux can definitely be a real, physical condition that cannot be ignored.

My twin brothers suffered so much as babies that they came to associate food with pain.

I vividly remember an incident years ago, when one of them arrived home from school.

When he smelled the schnitzel, he ran as fast as his legs would carry him. A concerned neighbor saw this six-year-old running on a busy road and asked what had occurred.

“My mother made schnitzel for supper!” came the tearful reply.

After this telling episode, my parents took him for hypnotherapy sessions, where he learned successfully that there is no need to equate food with pain.

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8. You’re the Best Example.

This one’s hard, I know. Why do all kids want a sip of Mom’s coffee? Well, they’ll usually want a taste of your vegetable soup too.

Children build their eating habits and behaviors by imitating their parents and peers. If you sit down and eat together with them, using a plate, knife, fork, and spoon, they will quickly catch on. Favoring healthy choices includes both the quality of what you’re eating as well as the quantity.

Being a positive role model has long-term consequences. Children are likely to maintain their healthy eating habits into adulthood.

THE RESEARCH Research conducted at Loughborough University indicates that children whose parents eat more fruit and vegetables typically eat more of these foods themselves, and that children whose parents eat more savory snack foods consume more of that variety.

9. For the Younger Sensory Child Every child has sensory needs, and some have more complex ones with varying levels of sensitivity. While OT is sometimes necessary, an unlimited supply of opportunities present themselves every night, right at the supper table.

Eating is a sensory-rich experience. Touching, feeling, new smells, and exploring foods all play a significant role, even in regular development. Different textures provide the same for oral stimulation. When my son started biting other kids, I offered him more crunchy foods such as jumbo pretzels. This definitely helped break the habit.

My daughter Miri never wanted to play finger games or for us to hold her hands. Once I stopped spoon-feeding and allowed her to feed herself and enjoy the different textures, this sensitivity slowly but surely disappeared. I was also advised to stop with the bibs as it’s important for children to feel their faces and bodies get dirty.

Changing my perspective to view mealtimes as a therapeutic opportunity also helped me become more tolerant of the mess that was the inevitable by-product.

THE RESEARCH In the American Journal of Occupational Therapy (2019), researchers identified six categories of sensory development parents can encourage and support during mealtimes.

Right Here, Right Now “My baby only eats in the bath.”

“My kid only eats with a huge stack of books.”

“My children eat best in the park.”

“My children only eat if they’re watching something on the laptop at the same time.”

The common denominator between all of these “methods” is distraction. This is the opposite of the ideal: eating is supposed to be a fully engaging, mindful, and present activity. We sit and eat dinner together. Feet under the chair, with a variety of food before our eyes, and we try to make it a pleasurable experience.

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10. Family Meals For many parents, especially with children of various ages and stages, this seems unrealistic. So many life responsibilities get in the way, whether work, varied school-finishing times, or after-school activities.

But I recommend viewing family meals as the ultimate parenting hack. Thirty minutes that will boost your children’s self-esteem, academic performance, and communication skills, and reduce their risk of obesity. Now that’s the good news.

The bad news is that it takes proper organizational skills, focus, and it isn’t always easy. Still, study after study show the numerous health and social benefits of eating together, and family meals remain the perfect opportunity to model and put into practice all the tips presented above.

(Of course, this may not work for everyone. If a family has a child with severe behavioral issues, feeding them alone, one-on-one, might prove more successful, and minimize possible resentment from other children that would otherwise occur during family mealtimes.

The ideal is a daily meal with both parents present, and all technological devices absent; whether it’s breakfast, lunch, or supper, the benefits are inestimable.

Luckily, as frum Yidden, we have this opportunity built into our weekly schedule, in the form of Shabbos. But even if this routine is not possible every day, whenever practical, your children should eat together. Among other benefits, when kids hear a sibling get complimented on eating their veggies, they’ll want to try it too.

Of all the tips, we found this the hardest to take on, but the evidence is there to support its importance—and we saw the results in our own home too.

THE RESEARCH “Eating as a family has been shown to positively contribute to the physical and social-emotional well-being of family members” —Journal of Nutrition Education and Behavior (2003)

While we embarked on this journey for Miri’s sake, we observed the tremendous benefits these changes had not just on her but on our other children, too. My friends love bringing their kids around for supper, and they end up trying foods they wouldn’t necessarily try at home.

Most important of all, it’s not all or nothing. Anything you can take on will take you and your children a long way.

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Coming next month in Wellspring

COMPASS A brand-new serial diary

I thought I was traveling on the well-trodden road to life and happiness...

But it led me nowhere.

“Lana wins in the beauty department hands-down.”

“Stop it!” I cried. But they wouldn’t stop.

“She’s so cute, but sometimes there may be more to a child than meets the eye.”

“So that’s what it’s like to have babies,” Eli pumped his thumb like he’d just solved a difficult piece of Gemara.

She would do funny things that would make me tremble with shame.

“Forty percent maximum cognition.”

“If I were your mother, Dina, I’d tell you not to walk to Mifne, but run!”

Follow Dina and her family on a journey of discovery, healing, and laughter... and tears too, but who’s asking?

As told to Libby Silberman WELLSPRING / ELUL 5781

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FEATURE

A O T T R F OFSH STA olo s h E m c R o S F Back-toip-s for M 6 ired T , RDN, LD Insp Esti Asher, MS

sh , fre ts w e n en fa par nt o s and y new s e ue item ent d b exc stud panie echniq ver, e t e th ong com ow an ar, nd c f ye ible am ten a ines a ear. H ers c o y of ut ng ime oth is t is ta art is her ro uctive e m h t r w elp At l yea sh st d ot prod nts; nh — n a e o e d a c r d o n sch e. A f plies ive a to stu we dren t p . ow r chil ositive h alik ol su a posi usive s well f o s o p ou n p sch oster t excl vice a tion e hel ur ow s f e d o g a to w w er o is n wn sug six by ho d fost this our o e e an lor ed tak exp inspir pport well. s ’ t u Le ves— ly s ar as ye ate sel our ultim ctive u d an prod and

FEATURE

Buy new supplies.

At the beginning of the school year, a list of school supplies is crafted for each grade; these supplies are specifically recommended in order to equip students for success. We too, as mothers, should take time to reflect upon which supplies will best help equip us for success. Whether this means stocking up on disposables for easier meal cleanup, prepackaged snacks for convenient lunch packing, a new planner to feel super organized and on top of the schedule, a cute coffee mug to enhance the morning routine, a fresh yoga mat to encourage a feel-good workout, a delicious-smelling bodywash to help unwind and relax, or a refreshing tea as a tasty and hydrating treat, the possibilities are endless.

Lay out your clothes the night before.

We can all recall that dreaded moment of panic as we searched desperately for a shoe or clean school shirt. The solution to a frenzied morning in search of the right outfit or article of clothing is to lay out your kids’ clothes the night before. Wouldn’t it be great if we took a few extra minutes to put our own clothes out the night before? This can save us time and energy in the morning, and also help us feel (more) put-together even when time is of the essence.

Pack yourself lunch and snacks.

As responsible parents, we wouldn’t send our kids to school without lunch and snacks (unless food is provided at school); however, it is common for adults to go for hours without a proper meal or snack. Let’s do our best to plan out (or even pack in advance) our own food, even when we’re “just” feeding ourselves. Food is our fuel, and just as it is important to fuel our kids properly, it is essential that we fuel ourselves properly as well.

Designate time for (home)work.

Many homes have designated times for homework or play restrictions that are only lifted once homework is completed. So too, we can take a look at our schedule and designate specific times in our day to cross off items from our to-do lists. The structure and routine will help us be more focused when we are in work-mode and feel more relaxed and accomplished once the day is done.

Institute a bedtime.

Sleeping for an adequate amount of time is crucial for children; a good night’s sleep can affect mood, behavior, and academic performance. Just as our kids have bedtimes (or bedtime ranges), we can also improve our mood, behavior, and overall performance by implementing a bedtime for ourselves.

Each adult works optimally with different amounts of sleep, but the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) and other organizations recommend at least seven hours of sleep per night for adults. When establishing your new bedtime, calculate what works for your schedule—and take note of how a better sleep routine affects the quality of your daily performance.

Ask for help when needed.

We teach our kids to raise their hand and ask for help when they don’t understand something in class. Sometimes a simple clarification is all that’s needed, while other times more extensive explanation or even tutoring will help the child reach their potential.

From what we teach our kids, we should take note of the importance of reaching out and asking for help when we need it. Help can look different depending on the situation—you can enlist the help of frozen chicken nuggets, fish sticks or take-out for dinner, a mother’s helper or babysitter for childcare, and cleaning help for household maintenance. This can also mean talking out something that’s on your mind with a spouse, friend, journal, therapist, or other professional. Bottom line: don’t feel intimidated or embarrassed when you realize that you need help. There is no such thing as a super-mommy. While we are definitely all “super,” part of being the amazing mothers we are is knowing to reach out for help when we need it.

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and SelfCare Enthusiast on a mission to help women reach their ultimate health and wellbeing potential inside and out. She shares credible, clear, and inspiring nutrition information with women via her virtual private practice. To contact Esti with feedback or inquiries regarding her nutritional services, please email her at esti@estiashernutrition.com or visit estiashernutrition.com.

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COMMUNICATED

HEALTHCARE INNOVATORS

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From Turkey to New York; Dr. Su Berrak a Journey of Pediatrics and Love

By Libby Silberman WELLSPRING / ELUL 5781

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“Children are similar everywhere,” asserts Dr. Su Berrak, beloved pediatrician at Refuah Health Center.

“I’m seeing comparable illnesses and equal levels of immunity in children in the United States to what I saw in Turkey—except one major thing.

When I was practicing in Turkey, most children were unvaccinated due to lack of availability. I saw many, many cases of chicken pox, measles, and mumps in my years there. Here in New York, I barely get to see these diseases.”

Twenty years after Dr. Berrak starting practicing as pediatrician in her homeland, her husband’s job required a trans-global relocation to the East Coast of the United States.

Upon arrival, Dr. Berrak immediate-

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ly did her residency at a hospital in Long Branch, New Jersey (neighboring Lakewood) to receive licensure on her new soil. As soon she completed her residency, she landed a job in Children’s Hospital at Montefiore, a place where she served as the primary care physician for kids with special needs and “loved so very much.” Eventually, she relocated to New York, where she currently lives with her husband, two teenagers (“lots of fun!”), and their pets.

A lucky twist of fate brought her to RefuahHealth in 2014, where’s she’s been practicing ever since.

She’s practiced at RefuahHealth in South Fallsburg, at the New Square site, and at RefuahHealth’s Twin Avenue site. It’s been a labor of love, a

position that Dr. Berrak takes seriously and passionately.

Classroom or Clinic?

“I’m an academician, meaning that I am a full professor. I love teaching.

I used to teach residents, fellows, and medical students. These days, I teach parents, which obviously is very different from teaching professionals, but also very rewarding.”

“Teaching parents? How does teaching play a role in your position as a pediatrician?” I wonder.

“Probably the most important part of my practice is educating my patients and their parents,” she answers. “Good sleeping habits, dental

"When I see sick patients, I talk to them about various things that can come up in the course of an illness so that they don’t panic if a new symptom develops. I make sure they’re aware of what the symptom can potentially mean."

hygiene, and eating habits are all so important in the development of children. Parents sometimes need to be reminded that they need to be proactive and empower their children themselves to make healthy lifestyle choices, and I therefore do my best to educate them.”

Interestingly, a primary focus of Dr. Berrak’s is the importance of oral hygiene. Oral hygiene?! Why don’t we leave that to the dentists?

“My brother is a dentist,” Dr. Berrak clarifies as she reads my confusion, “so dentistry is rather close to my heart. When I see young kids I ask them, ‘Do you brush your teeth?’ and if the answer is ‘sometimes,’ I tell them how crucial it is to brush one’s teeth regularly.

“With the teens it’s a different story. They like their control. They don’t want to be told what to do,” Dr. Berrak winks.

“So if I see a teen getting sullen when asked how frequently he brushes his teeth, I won’t say anything. But when a teen is open to hearing, we will discuss nutrition, limiting snacking, and the quality of protein versus carbs. Teens don’t need snacks. They need real food. But again, I will only broach the subject if I feel that the teen will be receptive to what I have to say.

“Another ironic thing I’ve noticed about teens is their relationship with sleep. Sleep is important to teens, but they like to go to bed late. Oh, and they want to grow taller. Everybody’s grandmother told them that they need to sleep to grow tall…

Therefore, I educate teens on the importance of getting at least eight hours of quality sleep each night in order to get that extra inch of height.

“When I see sick patients, I talk to them about various things that can come up in the course of an illness so that they don’t panic if a new symptom develops. I make sure they’re aware of what the symptom can potentially mean. For example, if a patient with a sore throat tests negative for strep, I’ll let them know that runny nose or hoarse voice is usually a sign of a viral infection, rather than strep.”

Going the extra mile to educate her patients, Dr. Berrak saves many from extra intervention or pointless panic.

“I often see young kids with high fever. The mom panics, of course.

She thinks we need the emergency room. So, I tell her, ‘Give your child your cell phone.’ Any child, from as young as one year old, is interested in mom’s phone. If they grab it and are engaged by it, there’s no need to

panic just yet.”

Why Pediatrics?

“For starters, adults are complicated. Sicknesses are too involved.

Kids are cute and not that sick,” Dr. Berrak chuckles. “And children don’t face as many diseases as adults do.

When I see a child with symptoms, I know it’s a far smaller range of possible diagnoses than what you’d see in adult medicine.

“Additionally, I love pediatrics because it’s fast-paced. Things change all the time. A kid can be feeling fine one minute and sick an hour later. It works the other way around, too. Kids recover quickly with minimal intervention. You need to keep your eyes on kids at all times because they’re just ever-changing.”

And, of course, Dr. Berrak is back to her passion: teaching. “Pediatrics offers loads of opportunity for sharing and teaching. It’s a wonderful collaboration with parents and patients when they are mature enough to listen. They ask for advice and I get to teach them. They listen and try to incorporate as much as they can into their lives. When I see teens, I get to teach the patients themselves, which is incredibly rewarding.”

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Healthy Checkups:

When, Why, and How? “Parents in this community particularly are very knowledgeable,” Dr. Berrak affirms. “They know how to take care of their children beautifully.”

But, when children seem to be developing normally and meeting milestones, it’s easy to grow complacent about pediatric well-visits. Parents think they know what needs to be done, and they’re right, they do. But, there are certain things that only pediatricians are trained to do, for example, seeing the inside of a baby’s eye and feeling for growths in the belly.

Pediatricians want to see their patients nearly every other month in the first year of life to chart growth and vet potential issues.

Here’s Dr. Berrak’s guideline for well-visits from infancy through adolescence.

• 2 months, 4 months, 6 months: An infant’s height, weight, and head circumference are measured. The doctor checks baby’s belly and eyes 68

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(using a special lamp that screens eyes for potential growths).

• 9 months, 12 months, 15 months, 18 months, 24 months, and 30 months: The baby is weighed, belly and eyes are checked. The pediatrician looks out for reaching developmental milestones, such as sitting, crawling, standing, speaking, and eating solid foods.

• At this point, by 3 year of age well-visits can be cut back to once a year. Pediatricians look out for developmental delays, social skills, gross and fine motor skills, and as children start school, academic skills. Pediatricians look out for hearing and vision and refer children who exhibit red flags to appropriate professionals where necessary, • Age 10+: Pediatricians focus on evaluating whether children are developing cognitively and emotionally.

They may ask about peer relations and life skills. Children are assessed for body developments as they approach maturity.

• Age 18–21: At age 18, adolescents start seeing family doctors.

At the same time, pediatricians are there to facilitate building this new relationship as the young adult grows comfortable with his family doctor until he fully graduates pediatrics at age 21.

Why is it so important for babies to be seen so frequently in their first year of life?

“Babies quite literally double their birth weight, and as they go into their second and third years, they triple and quadruple that. A pediatrician charts a baby’s weight gain, ensuring that baby is developing nicely.

Additionally, food intake impacts a child’s brain growth tremendously.

A baby requires constant monitoring in a time when such sensitive organs are developing!”

Dr. Berrak underscores the importance of charting a baby’s growth with the following episode. A devoted mom was breastfeeding and formula feeding her infant son. The

baby was gaining nicely on a steady upward trajectory. Several weeks ago, the mom brought the baby in for a well-visit. The child’s weight gain had plateaued.

While she doesn’t get alarmed at such an occurrence, Dr. Berrak asked the mom if anything had changed in the past little while.

“Yes, in fact,” said she. “I went back to work and started leaving my baby at a sitter.”

In that case, it was very likely that the baby wasn’t getting sufficiently fed in childcare. Dr. Berrak advised the mom on how to tweak the baby’s formula intake throughout the day while he was away.

Just yesterday, this mother returned for another well-visit. The child looked excellent and had gained weight.

“What happened?” Dr. Berrak asked her. “Did you change the babysitter? Did the babysitter manage to implement the new feeding schedule?”

“Nope,” replied the mom with a smile. “I quit working. I am my child’s babysitter!”

“The takeaway message that I pull from this anecdote is that babies thrive best when they are in their mother’s care. Of course, that’s not always possible, but the punchline I’d like to share with others is that a pediatrician is trained to pick up on minute changes that a mother might miss in the day-to-day care of her child. That’s why it is so crucial for a baby to be seen frequently by his pediatrician.”

Dr. Berrak’s colleague enters the room and adds insight to the conversation.

“Eye exams at well visits are very critical. Eye tumors start early in life and so much heartache can be saved with early detection.”

She highlights this statement with an anecdote they’ve seen at RefuahHealth. A very young baby was brought it for a routine well-visit at about two months, and an early malignant growth was detected by the pediatrician. The child was treated and ultimately completely cured. Given the super-early detection, the child is perfectly fine today, with near-zero chances for relapse.

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SAMPLE

SAMPLE

By Libby Silberman

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Experiment: How do kids learn best?

In my final year of high school, a beloved mechaneches told us of a colleague who had several young children at home. She worked as a secular studies teacher for years, day in, day out, shepherding her children out to babysitters and school, panting all the way to school, teaching, racing home to her family, only to do the same thing again the next day. As you may or may not know, teachers do not rank high on the how-to-make-millions list.

She bumped into an old friend at an interschool teacher’s conference.

“You? You’re still teaching?” said the friend.

“Yes, still teaching,” she replied.

“What gives you the drive to keep doing that?” asked the friend. “No offense, but it’s not like you’re teaching halachah or hashkafah or another kodesh subject. How is teaching English and secular studies still worth your energy?”

This teacher stood up and declared, “I don’t teach English, I teach students!”

Teachers do not teach math or science or history. They teach students. What an awesome, incredible calling!

So that’s my applause for all of you teachers out there.

This month’s Sample is an ode to all of you selfless teachers, giving endless time and energy to build future worlds.

There’s so much more to teaching than covering curricula and ensuring your students emerge from your class with bucketloads of intelligence. You’re building people.

Our experiments this month take a diversion from the usual health and wellness, as we explore cognitive and social science in the classroom.

This month, two major experiments take place, and I’m immensely proud to share the results with you, parents, teachers, and anybody-who-may-encounter-a-kidor-two-sometime-this-year.

Welcome back to the lab. Please take out your sharpened pencils and a collegeruled notebook.

Proper posture, feet planted firmly on the ground. Just kidding, this is not school. Sit back and enjoy.

Experiment #1 investigates the potency of incentives in the classroom versus old-fashioned praise and positive emotional motivation.

Experiment #2 explores the science behind what motivates students to shine academically. Is it by pointing out how they can improve, or is it by pretending that they’re doing just great and pumping their confidence level artificially? *** Since I’m not currently a classroom teacher, we dragged all of our test tubes and equipment from the lab down to a real brick-and-mortar school to conduct our testing.

Thank you, Morah B. and her first-grade boys, for graciously participating in Wellspring’s Sample experiment.

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SAMPLE

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EXPERIMENT #1

Okay, let’s face it. Kids don’t love broccoli or going to sleep on time or doing math worksheets. There are some exceptions, like your kids, of course.

But in my experience, kids need solid motivation to want to behave and do well.

What works? Star charts, jellybeans, remote-controlled helicopters, or a genuine compliment?

Listen up. Here go state secrets.

The test tube: Morah B.’s classroom will be tested for the duration of two weeks. In week #1, her students will be motivated and rewarded by tangible reward only.

Despite her natural positivity and the love she exudes, Morah B. will try to keep all positive feedback perfectly technical, whether by treat, prize, or sticker.

During week #2, she will altogether skip the treats, and motivate her students by compliments, love, and positive emotional reinforcement.

I give Morah B. forms to fill in her findings at the end of each day. Thankfully, she is so excited to participate that she fills in her forms perfectly!

Model participant, she is.

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SAMPLE

FINDINGS

Morah B.’s notes (students' names have been changed)

Dear Libby, I hope you will find my notes clear. It was great fun participating in this project. (I must admit that I cheated in week 1. I mean, it’s very hard not to smile at and compliment kids for a full week!)

WEEK 1 • The candy rush made some boys hyperactive and that wasn’t fun for me!

• Chanan Grossman woke up from the sugar. It did him some good, and he participated more in class. During kriah, he usually spaces out and misses his turn to read aloud, but this time, he was fully engaged in the lesson.

• By day three, my assistant, who stays with the class for the final hour of the day, got frustrated with the experiment. She said the boys were hyperactive and overtired from the treats, and she cheekily presented me with a large container of cubed apples. I was game and used them on Tuesday instead of the nosh. Funny, these worked just as well!

• The students were definitely very motivated by the treats. Knowing they’d receive a sticker or a treat for their effort, they davened beautifully, cleaned up nicely, and completed worksheets quickly.

• I’m very accustomed to complimenting, smiling, and offering positive feedback. It was really hard for me to hold back on that. I did end up complimenting the kids sometimes; it would have been cruel otherwise. Hope I didn’t mess up your experiment.

• Because I was under a restraining order not to compliment and give positive feedback, I found myself automatically more negative than usual. I was quicker to criticize, quicker to snap at students.

• The kids were working on a large puzzle on the floor, and I announced it was clean-up time. The kids cleaned up nicely, took their siddurim, and went to sit down at their seats. When Dudi Schon saw me holding the bag of lentils, he lost focus and just went to sit down; he didn’t help clean up or remember to get his siddur. Hmm… • Yochi Markowitz has a slight processing disorder and isn’t good at reading body language, emotion, or facial expression. Even when I give him

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a compliment him, I can tell he doesn’t fully relate to it. Candy penetrated his space. This was a phenomenally successful week for him, in which he was fully part of everything. He felt great after every achievement because tangible rewards, such as stickers, are what he needs. Even his therapist asked if something had changed in the classroom because she felt he was more into things.

• I know you wanted me to prove that candy doesn’t work and compliments and love are the way to go, but sorry, my class is doing wonderfully.

Kids like treats. Kids like prizes.

• As we’re preparing for our Chumash mesibah, we need to motivate the kids to have patience for another round of practice, songs, motions, and positions. This week, the regular dreamers were fully into it. Everyone sang at the top of their lungs, waiting to get a teensy-weensy silly lentil (that’s been sitting in the back of my pantry since the day after Pesach. Was so glad to use it up.).

• Same goes for cleanup time, which went beautifully and quickly all week as kids vied for treats.

• I saw a child being mevater his scissors to another kid while we were working at the centers. I walked over to the table and handed him a sticker.

Suddenly, five students hurried over to tell me that they were mevater, too.

• I put stickers on the kids’ charts after davening.

Yisrael Lieberman came over to ask me, “Morah, did I daven nicely?” I told him, “Of course, didn’t you see I put a sticker on your chart?” He replied, “No, Morah, you only gave me a sticker and nothing else!” So I guess kids really do need to hear that compliment.

• Overall, this was a pretty challenging week. I only did it because I owe you a favor from way back when. But it was hard not to be able to compliment or make the kids feel good.

• I think next week will be easier. Time will tell if love is enough…

WEEK 2 Dear Libby, I’m so relieved to be up to week 2 of the Sample experiment. Week 1 was interesting but didn’t feel good to me.

So here are my thoughts and notes I scrawled during week 2.

Compliments, love, no treats…here we come!

• During davening, Chanan Grossman caught my eye. I winked at him, and he started davening louder. He was swaying back and forth and pointing to the words in the siddur, just to impress me further!

• During cleanup I called the kids “expert” cleaners and janitors, and they were beaming with that title. Everyone got involved nicely.

• One child finds kriah very challenging and gets extra help outside of class. In our kriah practice, each child reads a line aloud, but this one kid usually doesn’t want to, so we let him skip so as not to embarrass him. This time, he heard me praising the other kids profusely, so he volunteered to read a line. I praised him for offering to try, and really cheered him on. He managed to read with about 50 percent accuracy, which is amazing for him.

• I asked parshah questions on Thursday and the class was sleepy. When one kid answered, I complimented him: “You’re a great listener! Wow, I’m so proud of you,” and suddenly the whole class perked up.

• We have a davening chart, where every day kids get a sticker after davening. Since it’s part of our daily routine, I made an offer: “For this week, you can choose either a

sticker or a compliment.” The kids started yelling, “No, just stickers.”

But one kid, always desperate for my approval, raised his hand and told me he wanted a compliment, so I gave him a lengthy one: “Hashem is smiling right now in Shamayim.

He heard Yaakov davening so loudly. All the malachim are standing around Him and listening to your tefillah.”

The child beamed. Immediately, more students raised their hands, exchanging their stickers for compliments. I counted how many kids stayed with their stickers: only four out of twenty! In other words, 80 percent of the class opted for praise over a sticker.

I told them how their davening can pierce the heavens and has the koach to tear apart all the gezeiros, and I thanked them for davening for me.

They appeared so happy as they walked to their cubbies to put their siddurim away. They were incredibly calm and settled for the next few hours.

• I noticed that after kids are commended and offered love, they are way more content and relaxed than after receiving a treat.

• It was much easier to incorporate this week’s task throughout the day.

Results: Libby: I had set out with an agenda here, folks. I wanted to prove the awesome power of praise and positive feedback. But the experiment turned its back on me. Read on…

Morah B.: Rewards make kids perform. Week 1 was great in terms of classroom management and motivation. The kids davened nicely, listened in class, completed worksheets, and cleaned up quickly. The promise of a tangible treat works too well! (My personal challenge in this experiment was not praising.)

But, honestly, is performance all I want in a classroom? In the short run, it’s easy to lose myself to it. But in the long run, it’s the love that builds children’s self-confidence. It’s an awesome responsibility, being tasked with building future worlds.

It was a very enlightening experiment. Thanks for the opportunity.

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5781

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SAMPLE

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EXPERIMENT #2

This experiment was very laborintensive, but so worth it! I collected two random groups of eight six-yearold girls who are starting first grade this September.

(Okay, not random.

Neighbors and friends and friend’s friends who wanted a treat.)

The two groups came down to the lab separately on different days.

Both groups received an identical booklet of addition and subtraction worksheets. Keep in mind that most students starting first grade have only been exposed to the basics of addition. The booklet was culled from a first-grade math curriculum, which means that technically, these students have not yet learned most of the material in the booklet.

Both groups were to be taught the basics of addition and subtraction before beginning their task.

The students then had to complete one page at a time, and the work got progressively more difficult. I walked around the table checking students’ work.

Now here’s what we did differently between the groups.

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FINDINGS

SAMPLE

Group A

Group B

The students walked in, chattering and excited. I told them about the exclusive project they were lucky enough to participate in. They beamed. I told them that the booklet was meant for older girls, but I had full faith in their abilities, and they would do well anyway.

Group B was harder to pull off. Like the day before, I handed out the booklets and clearly explained the task at hand. The girls could only flip to the next page after I graded their work. Here, I offered no jazzy compliments or excited airs. Just some drudge work to do (if they wanted the ice pops before they left).

They got to work. I walked around the table, complimenting the kids effusively. As I marked their work (to allow them to continue to the next page), I only drew checks. If there were any careless errors, I ignored them altogether. I offered each child a sticker and scrawled a motivating compliment on the top of their worksheets before they moved on to the next page. Eventually, the book transitioned to subtraction, and the illustrations (six gingerbread cookies plus seven muffins) grew less frequent and black text numbers replaced those examples.

The last page contained subtraction examples that used numbers as high as 20 and contained no pictures at all.

“You can do it! It’s really, really, hard, but look how you managed until now! You must be the smartest group of girls I’ve ever encountered.”

Most of them managed wonderfully.

They got their ice pops and left me with a stack of booklets to glance through. These would only be interesting in comparison to the following day’s booklets.

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I walked around the table where eight earnest six-year-olds scratched away, counting illustrated muffins and chocolate-chip cookies and apples. This time, I only drew x’s near the examples that were done wrong. No checkmarks. No loud compliments.

Though I should point out that I did silently place a smiley sticker on the top of each completed page.

The girls finished up and submitted their booklets.

I handed out ice pops and they left.

And then I got to work crunching numbers because as you know, I am committed to offering statistics that reflect reality. Although I did have an agenda (to prove that compliments make kids do better, of course), I was committed to offering real numbers, regardless of how I wanted the experiment to turn out.

Turns out that my agenda worked this time--too well.

Between Group A and Group B, two units of similar ages and educational backgrounds and cognitive abilities, there was a full 38 percent gap in performance between them!

That means that Group B underperformed by more than a third. Pointing out their errors not only failed to help them do better on each following page; it made them do worse.

I was quite flabbergasted at how well this experiment worked, and the takeaway is clear. The more we invest in making kids feel great about their performance (without harping on errors), the better they will perform.

Praise or Prize?

Mrs. K., principal at a local elementary school Complimenting children on good work definitely goes far, but only if the compliments are • specific (“wow” and “amazing” mean little to students) • truthful (the child can really tell if you mean it) Here comes the great big but. These days (which may be unfortunate), I’ve observed that a treat accomplishes more than words.

From a principal’s point of view, when students bring their work to my office, it means so much more to them if I hand them a little treat than just a “Your handwriting is perfectly neat, wow.”

The treat doesn’t have to be major. In fact, just last week, four young students came to my office to show me their writing, and I divided one sour stick between the four of them. They were absolutely thrilled.

In short, treats motivate the kids to perform and do well, but a sincere compliment will sharpen the child’s brain and build their confidence. They will seek to perform better in the future. ~~~ Here’s what the specialty staff (kriah tutors, occupational therapists, etc.) at Mrs. K.’s school have to say on the matter: When working with children one-on-one in a specialized setting, the best way to motivate them to do well (for example, to read another line of words), is by placing a little cup beside the child, and consistently filling it with chocolate chips, super snacks, or jellybeans.

In such settings, the treats go further than the compliments. Additionally, it keeps children focused and on track, whereas interrupting the flow of the session to praise the child is highly distracting.

At a workshop for educators and special educators, Morah B. (now of Sample’s fame) learned techniques for helping children read from a highly acclaimed professional based in the tristate area.

“The technique I’m about to teach you is amazing,” said the lecturer. “Recently, I sat down with my five-yearold daughter to do alef-beis practice. I hadn’t done homework with her properly for a while, and I wanted to check in to see how she was doing. I was horrified when she consistently named all the alef-beis incorrectly and didn’t know any of the nekudos. She knew maybe 15 percent of the homework sheet.

“I got a package of chocolate chips from the kitchen and returned to the dining room. ‘Let’s start again,’ I told my daughter. For every letter she recited correctly, I placed a chocolate chip near the paper. Suddenly, she knew 90 percent of the material!

“My high school daughter was watching the whole spiel with a bemused smile. Knowing her mother was an expert in the field, she asked, ‘What method did you just use, Mommy?’

“I said, ‘The chocolate-chip method.’”

Curious about a health fad but don’t want to be the experimental subject just yet? I may want to experiment with that!

Send a message to info@wellspringmagazine.com, subject line “Libby’s the Sample.” Meet you in the lab!

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5781

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CUP OF TEA

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Cup of Tea with

Fortune Terzi, M. Ed., RD LOCATION: Brooklyn, New York

Fortune Terzi

OCCUPATION: Registered dietitian, Master’s in Clinical Nutrition, science teacher

SINCE: 1999 AGE: 46 FAMILY: 5 kids PASSION: Sharing her knowledge of science and nutrition with teens

SHE WISHES PEOPLE WOULD KNOW: Good nutrition and eating healthy is a way of life; moderation is the key to having a healthy relationship with food.

Libby Silberman WELLSPRING / ELUL 5781

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Fortune Terzi teaches eleventh and twelfth graders the science of nutrition. Blech. Forget it. I’m having cold flashbacks to high school science jargon-filled classes.

Let’s start again.

Fortune Terzi is bouncing with so much life and passion that I want to rewind my life and do high school all over again just to sit through her class. She currently teaches the science of nutrition to high school students after a first career as a registered dietitian. Catering to the age in which food equals body image equals social standing, Fortune’s class not only offers fundamentals to support that crucial juncture but also lots of fun and interaction.

In Fortune, I spot a professional who loves doing what she does. There’s that light in her eyes and that drive in her posture that tells me she’s passionate and creative and fabulous at giving over what she has to offer.

Fortune practiced as a registered dietitian for over two decades after graduating from NYU about 25 years ago.

In the scope of her practice, she did clinical work, private counseling, and mini classes, as well as working at a fitness center. During the years she raised her children, she mostly counseled clients privately, to enable flexibility with her own scheduling.

After many years of practice, Fortune’s career took on a new and exciting turn. “A teacher at the Yeshivah of Flatbush Elementary School was looking to give up her job and invited me to take over for her,” Fortune relates.

“Her work wasn’t a typical teacher’s position. She gave a four-session crash course on the fundamentals of nutrition to grades one through eight. Since there were four parallel classes in each grade, it meant that I would teach a different grade each month by rotating between the classes.”

Fortune brought spirited discussions and interactive visuals into the classroom. She taught the students about various food groups, restaurant portion sizes versus regular portion sizes, and fitness. Her students learned by exploring different information sources and comparing nutrition information in various products. She also ran health days in school, for which she engaged the students in nutrition projects (making snacks and smoothies), fitness sessions, and health demonstrations.

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“One of the homework project results was actually really interesting to me. The students were to challenge themselves by trying a new fruit or vegetable,” says Fortune, a twinkle in her eyes. “Some kids tried the most exotic fruits and vegetables, while others were literally afraid to touch a tomato!”

After several years, the nutrition education project petered out. A new principal took over and slowly, new structures replaced old ones until there was no time in the schedule for Fortune’s nutrition course.

Instead, the school invited her to join their faculty as an official teacher. Fortune returned to graduate school and rejoined Yeshivah of Flatbush teaching staff, where she (quite by accident, she laughingly interjects) became a science teacher.

For the next few years, she transformed the way science and nutrition were taught in the school, using her trademark creativity to engage and excite her students.

After about six years of teaching in the elementary school, the Yeshivah of Flatbush Joel Braverman High School, the school she graduated from and her five children have attended or are currently attending, invited Fortune to teach an elective that channeled her specialty: science of nutrition.

“Facing all those eager students on the first day of school who think they know exactly what the class will be all about, the first thing I say to them is, ‘This is not a weight-loss class, folks. [Falling faces alert.] While we will be discussing fad diets, weight loss, and eating disorders, I am here to teach you the science of nutrition.’ That’s a fundamental of nutrition for students to bear in mind before we begin.”

Fortune teaches the intricacies of the digestive system, the national food guidelines, and how the human body interacts with and metabolizes various nutrients. Her class is as hands-on as it gets, I note as I marvel over the zany experiments and projects she has her students doing.

Fortune’s class did a fun, cool project comparing nutritional guidelines from different countries. Just like MyPlate in the States, each country has their own systems in place regarding the food groups and quantities that they recommend from each one.

For this assignment, each student was to select three different countries and read up about them on a website that Fortune provided. Students were then required to select six different nutrition rules culled from their research and write why they chose these six rules. Later, they created their own infographic featuring their ideal vision of nutrition (similar to USA’s MyPlate).

“Is there any country whose recommendations on nutrition are superior to another?” I want to know.

“Good question, but not necessarily.

Iceland, for example, recommends a certain way of eating, while a hot country like Jamaica requires altogether different nutrition guidelines, because of their individual climates and lifestyles.”

“Another fun project my students did was create an amusement park based on the digestive system. Some students incorporated games. They had to explain each part of the park and its function in relation to the digestive tract. Students went wild, using oaktags, lights, and gadgets protruding outward.

One student even prepared a grand cake that modeled the GI system.”

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In lieu of a final exam last year, Fortune assigned her students an involved task. They were to take a recipe for any food they liked and modify it by substituting as many ingredients as possible for healthier alternatives.

The students then had to prepare both the original recipe and the modified recipe. For example, one student decided on pizza. She baked the regular variety, as well as a modified pizza with a cauliflower-based crust.

Fortune provided her students with a unique resource: a website that, when supplied with a list of ingredients and amounts, produces a nutrition label. Students had to create a nutrition label for both recipes, the original one and the modified one.

“My students had the time of their lives with this one,” Fortune shares, “creating desserts, baked goods, and side dishes.”

And the best part of this project?

Students were required to create short videos in which they offered their concoctions to people who taste-tested and had to rate the food on three different counts (such as taste, consistency, texture etc.).

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For another assignment, Fortune had her students skim Food Rules by Michael Pollan (a useful and funny purse-sized manual that could easily replace all the diet books on your bookshelf, according to a New York Times review). The book is based on three primary principles about eating: 1. Eat food 2. Mostly plants 3. Not too much Each rule is further subdivided and contains more fun rules about healthy eating. Students were required to choose any rule from each of the three sections and research the topic. They created an infographic illustrating their rule.

As the students took turns presenting their projects to the rest of the class, the rule and its pertinence to daily life were discussed.

Some examples of rules in the book: Take the same amount of time to eat your food as you took to prepare it.

Don’t fill up on fuel the same way your car does.

"The first thing I say to them is, ‘This is not a weight-loss class, folks.' [Falling faces alert.]

While we will be discussing fad diets, weight loss, and eating disorders, I am here to teach you the science of nutrition.’"

During the COVID-19 lockdown, Fortune ran a brilliant campaign for her students. She had them plan their meals for three days, and then report what they actually consumed.

Another research project Fortune has done with her students was on the subject of fad diets.

Each student had to select a fad diet they’d heard about.

Then, they researched the diet and wrote up notes on it.

They had to take a stand in terms of what they felt about the diet — were they pro or anti? Additionally, students had to write up a counterargument to their own position, effectively designing their own debate.

Students took turns presenting their positions and counterarguments to the class, sparking loads of animated classroom discussion, which was naturally Fortune’s goal with this assignment. She actually found it fascinating to see several students presenting the same fad diet, each with a different position on it. Of course, this instigated even more heated debate.

“Why does this sound very much not like a typical high school class?” I laughingly ask Fortune as she tells me about the various projects she’s done. “It sounds like too much fun!”

“Oh, that?” she feigns innocence. “That’s because I get bored fast. I need to make things interesting for myself. I pull materials from everywhere. I modify my materials. I make sure that I’m super fascinated by what I’m teaching, because if I’m not fascinated, how can my students be?”

Naturally, her classroom doesn’t quite run on silent mode. Students ask questions, providing a diverting topic for Fortune on the fly, but she’s okay with that. Her class is meant for that. It’s geared to involve and excite students.

And her classes are not just fun in the moment. Fortune mentions students whose eating habits have drastically

changed as a result of her classes. Occasionally, a student will show her protein bar they’re eating, asking about its real nutritional value. And although protein bars may not have been on her agenda for that day, Fortune would bring up research sites onto the board and have her students read up about it together. “It’s really cool and eye-opening to do that as a group,” she affirms.

“Relaxed, challenging, stimulating” are three words Fortune uses to describe her class, and from the sound of things, I am inclined to agree. Teens are interested and passionate. They need a space to develop their passions.

Fortune is proud at how engaged and excited her students are, how motivated they are to do well and understand how their bodies work in relationship with the foods they eat.

Her students go out for lunch every day, and their selections from restaurant menus are highly impacted by those of their peers. The pressure is real, and food means a lot in the day-to-day of any given teen.

“It is therefore so important for teens and their parents to know what a healthy connection with food is, where balance is key. There’s a healthy way to focus on food.

We should model a positive relationship with food so our children can pick up on that. Going to either extreme can naturally have a devastating impact on a teen’s self and future. We don’t want to go there,” she says.

According to Fortune, children who grow up with parents who are constantly “on a diet” will likely struggle to create positive and stress-free associations with food. “We frequently discuss body image and body size,” says Fortune. “Thin is in, and that’s tough. So we talk about what really counts, in an open, real way.”

Fortune Terzi is the kind of teacher every high school class across the world can use. Passionate about her subject, driven to make an impact, and so all-around creative, she delivers real change to the way the next generation views food, their bodies, and their deepest selves.

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THE FUNCTIONAL DIETITIAN

Stomach Bloat: SIBO as a Likely Culprit

By Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE

Shani, 26, consulted with me regarding her intense abdominal bloating and gassiness, accompanied by constipation and inability to lose weight. She had tried numerous weight loss plans, but failed to achieve the desired results due to her inability to tolerate large quantities of fruits and vegetables. She complained of such severe bloating late in the day post-dinner that she felt she looked as if she were pregnant.

She felt better when fasting or on processed white starches, but her poor diet choices due to digestive difficulties left her low on energy and frustrated with her weight.

Shani had used PPI medications for acid reflux for a year in her early twenties. She also was prone to mild anxiety and described feeling stressed often. Being that stress and PPI usage are both risk factors for the development of SIBO, I decided to explore this further, and Shani did a three-hour lactulose breath test for SIBO, with high positive results for both methane and hydrogen gas.

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What is SIBO? SIBO occurs when the small intestine, which is ordinarily colonized by fewer bacteria due to its proximity to the highly acidic stomach, becomes overgrown and populated by larger colonies of normal bacteria from the large intestine further down. Many of these bacteria that begin to overgrow in the small intestine may ordinarily serve beneficial functions in the large intestine; however, when these bacteria proliferate in the small intestine, they lead to adverse consequences.

With SIBO, as food passes through the small intestine, the bacterial overgrowth interferes with the healthy digestive and absorption process. The bacteria present in the small intestine actually consume some of the foods and nutrients and produce gasses as a byproduct of this digestion, leading to unpleasant symptoms such as gassiness and bloating immediately post meal, as well as gut motility issues and abdominal pain.

In Shani’s case, the cause of the development of her SIBO was easily identifiable. Often, SIBO patients run on “fight-or-flight” mode all the time. This stress hormone excess affects the vagus nerve, diminishing it and resulting in poor digestive function, low stomach acid and digestive enzyme secretion, and reduced movement of the GI tract — basically, a setup for SIBO. In addition, usage of antacid medications creates a perfect environment for bacteria to migrate upwards by making the upper small intestine less acidic.

Treatment Shani was treated with Rifaximin, an herbal antibiotic containing allicin to target methane-producing bacteria, and a prebiotic to help make the bacteria more susceptible to the antibiotics.

After the “kill” phase of treatment, she then followed a diet low in fermentable fibers for four weeks to eradicate any remaining bacteria, as well as probiotic strains specific to preventing SIBO recurrence.

She was counseled on the importance of stress reduction and she succeeded in making it a priority in her life. Additionally, for six months after treatment, she used extra stomach acids and gentle herbal laxative support to encourage peristalsis and prevent recurrence.

Shani reported feeling improvement four weeks into the “kill” phase, and was 80 percent improved after the four-week lowfermentable diet. She followed the program carefully and was thrilled to report complete relief of her bloating and constipation at the three-month mark. In addition, she was finally able to complete a weight loss plan with her improved digestion, shedding the 20 pounds she had been trying to lose for years.

Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE is registered dietitian/nutritionist and certified diabetes educator who has advanced training in functional medicine.

She maintains a busy practice via phone and videoconferencing with her international clientele. She specializes in sustainable weight loss and nutrition therapy for autoimmune disease, gastrointestinal disorders, and female hormone imbalances. She can be reached at 732-364-0064 or through her website, www.thegutdietitian.com.

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5781

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WELLBEING FEATURE

whiteorchidmedispa

THE FREEDOM TO BE YOU. 844.672.4430

MONSEY BORO PARK

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Through Wear and Tear WHAT TYPE OF COMMITMENTS REALLY LAST?

FROM HEAD TO HEART SHIRA SAVIT ON SHIFTING TOWARD CONNECTION MODE BACK TO SCHOOL WITH THE GUTTMANNS 6 TIPS INNER PARENTING WHAT MOTIVATES YOUR CHILD TO LISTEN TO YOU?

EMOTIONAL EATING

By Shira Savit

From Head to Heart How stopping to calculate the details of your life will enable you to live it “It doesn’t make sense. I ate so well for a full week, and the scale didn’t budge, not even an ounce!” “It doesn’t make sense that I’m hungry now—I just had a healthy lunch an hour ago!” “It doesn’t make sense that I exercised (which I thought would give me energy) but now I feel even more tired!” “Shira, why do so many things not make any sense?” I am repeatedly asked.

To answer such questions, I explain to the frustrated women, “You’re living in a world of calculations—counting calories, measuring food, tallying up points, and calculating the amount of weight you expect to lose in a given amount of time. You have it down to a T. The problem is, your calculator is working too hard; it’s in burnout mode. That’s one of the reasons you feel drained and exhausted. Drop the calculations. Your operating mode needs a reboot.”

I teach them to switch from calculate to connect. Calculating keeps you stuck in your head. Connecting will help you hear your heart. Calculating is the intellect; 90

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connecting is the emotion. Calculating is factual. Connecting is life.

One woman I was working with, Aliza, was an expert “calculator.” In one of our sessions, she told me she was frustrated about her recent overeating experience. “This past Sunday, the kids were out of school, as usual. Since it’s hard for me to be home all day with everyone, I hired a babysitter for two hours so I could go out alone and do some errands. I got back and made a healthy lunch for myself. In the afternoon, my kids had playdates and everyone was content and happy. We all had an early supper, and the kids even went to sleep without any meltdowns! But then, at night when I knew I wasn’t hungry, I ended up eating the leftover cupcakes from Shabbos dessert. I was so, so annoyed at myself—like, come on, I had a great day, I didn’t feel stressed, and I still blew it with my eating! This just doesn’t make any sense. Why would I do that?”

Head said: good choice! But in connect mode, Aliza realized her salad at lunch had left her feeling restricted; it was “too healthy”— carb-free, sugar-free, low fat, and even lower in taste. Her heart felt deprived—and also angry that she couldn’t just eat whatever she wanted to. A toasted bagel with cream cheese would have been so much more fulfilling, she lamented.

Proceeding to review her day, Aliza realized that the afternoon of playdates, early supper, and easy bedtime had been calculated too. Connecting to her heart helped her sense that she had been feeling quite uneasy all along.

As we continued to speak, Aliza realized that her heart had been filled with nervous emotions about the upcoming week. She had been so focused on trying to figure out “what went wrong in her day” that she had not been connected to her feelings of anxiety. The Monday morning after her cupcake escapade was to be the first day of the new school year. “What’s the big deal? Your children have had first days of school many times in your life!” her head told her.

But when she listened to her heart, she connected to her fears: Will this year be normal? Will there be lockdowns all over again? Will my highly sensitive first grader have a strict teacher? Will my son need a tutor in Gemara?

“By reaching for the cupcakes, I was probably trying to quell those guilty feelings. It’s ironic, We revisited Aliza’s Sunday As Aliza learned to tune in to experiences through the lens though, because of her emotional world, she had an of connect mode. Each aspect epiphany: It does make sense after of her day had both a head and course I was consumed all!

It makes sense that I overate. a heart component. For example, There was so much going on for me!

Aliza realized that her calculating with guilt after I My heart feels validated. mode told her: it’s a good idea to get overate.” a babysitter, it’ll help you accomplish Over the coming weeks, we worked on “Aliza,” I explained, “everything you told me was true and valid. I get why you feel confused about your overeating.

What I believe can really help you in times like these is connecting to your heart (your emotional inner world) as opposed to your head (your logical world). I call it the Calculate-to-Connect/Headto-Heart Reframe.”

stuff; it’ll give you a break from the kids.

It made sense. Her head was in the right place.

However, in connect mode, Aliza became in touch with the feelings of her heart. She expressed that she felt guilty about getting a babysitter. Maybe she should have stayed home and done art projects with her kids just like her sister-in-law? Maybe she should have saved the babysitting money for something more important? Her head said sensible but her heart screamed guilty. Aliza spontaneously realized, “Oh, by reaching for the cupcakes, I was probably trying to quell those guilty feelings. It’s ironic, though, because of course I was consumed with guilt after I overate.”

Looking at her lunch experience, Aliza recognized that according to all calculations, she had eaten a healthy lunch.

becoming more aware of connecting rather than calculating. Aliza learned an important lesson: Calculator batteries get depleted and eventually run out.

Connecting batteries have a lifetime guarantee; a feeling heart is what keeps us alive.

Once we connect to our heart, we can discern more clearly what motivates us to do what we do and how we can change patterns that have been keeping us stuck for too long.

If you find yourself wondering why things don’t make any sense, try connecting instead of calculating. Your heart will tell you a lot more about those cupcakes than your head.

Shira Savit, MA, MHC, INHC, is a mental health counselor with multiple certifications in nutrition and health. She specializes in weight loss, emotional eating, and binge eating. Shira incorporates both nutritional and emotional components in helping her clients reach their goals. Shira has a private practice in Yerushalayim and works with women in any location via phone call or video session. She can be contacted at 516-978-7800, shira@cucumbersandchocolate.com, or via her website: cucumbersandchocolate.com.

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CHILD DEVELOPMENT

Easing Back into School

By Friedy Singer & Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L

Starting a new school year makes for excitement, anticipation, and often, lots and lots of stress. It’s a time of adjustment for parents and children, as well as teachers. For typically developing children, there are plenty of new things to get used to and a fair amount of anxiety—all the more so for children with neurodevelopmental issues.

Many parents are familiar with the idea of preparing preschoolers for starting school by reading them books such as My First Day of School. But even older children, like the third grader who’s anxious about where her seat will be, may find these helpful too.

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CHILD DEVELOPMENT

Following are some ideas for dealing with both a child’s anticipatory anxiety of what’s to come in school, as well as their reality in school—what’s actually happening and changing for them.

1. Start the back-to-school routine several days before school starts. Especially this year, with school starting soon after camp/country/vacation ends, as well as Yom Tov coming early, initiating a routine before school actually starts can help with a smoother transition. Keeping dinner and bedtime on a schedule and avoiding major trips, if possible, will help children adjust to the new structure, receiving proper sleep and becoming more regulated.

2. For children starting a new school or playgroup, taking them to see the place beforehand can go a long way in soothing their fears. By knowing which classroom is theirs, how to find the bathroom, and other information about their new setting, it may be easier for children to acclimate to their physical environment, enabling them to envision what to expect. If possible, speaking to their teacher before school starts, having a visualization of what to expect, would be even better.

In the same vein, connecting a child with a classmate can also be helpful. Having an occasional play date with a school friend over the long Yom Tov break will offer a level of consistency to an anxious child, making the return to school less daunting.

3. With school starting, a lot of children express not wanting to go to school or not liking school. Some kids elaborate, some don’t; either way, it’s very important to 94

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validate the feeling. At the same time, you don’t want to promote or reinforce the child’s fears. For example, if a child says, “It’s so scary, I don’t know what’s gonna happen,” a parent can respond with, “Yes, it is scary, you don’t know what’s going to happen.” Then the parent can add, “It’s going to be an adjustment,” and similar statements, without concretizing the idea that it’s going to be scary.

After a child feels validated, you may want to try to get to the fear thought that’s beneath his fearful feelings. Why is starting school scary for him? Is it because he doesn’t like the school lunch, because he doesn’t know where he’ll sit, or because he’s worried that he won’t like his teacher?

Once you uncover the fear thought, you can try to work with the child toward reaching a solution. So if a child is anxious about who his teacher will be, you can offer to try and find out. That way, you can acknowledge his fear, while shifting the focus toward something more constructive.

4. On the first few days of school (or for as long as needed), it may be a good idea to send a little something along to school with the child to give her a sense of connection and calm. A family photo, perhaps, a note in their lunchbox, or a little toy attached to her briefcase (especially good for a child who is fidgety and needs to touch things). We may think that the new school supplies and uniform are enough, but it can be so soothing for a child to have a small item with her that connects her to home and gives her this warm, comforting feeling. Little things like these mean so much to kids.

5. The kids are finally back in school. Now parents are naturally anxious to hear all about their child’s day.

But it’s important to remember to give children time to decompress after school, especially in the beginning. Not all kids are the same; some are chatterboxes who share every detail right away, but other children need space to

We may think that the new school supplies and uniform are enough, but it can be so soothing for a child to have a small item with her that connects her to home and gives her this warm, comforting feeling.

get back to themselves after a long day full of noise and stimulation. Offer your child a healthy snack with protein and a carb, and wait to inquire about his day once he’s had a chance to regulate himself.

Bear in mind that sometimes children may have their “breakdown” once they get home, when they’ve finally reached a safe place where they can process the different stresses they went through that day.

6. This is probably the most important tip for parents at this time of year (and always!): Keep your own anxiety at bay. There’s a lot going on now; sending off all the children, filling out all those supplies lists, preparing for Yom Tov. As a parent, focus on self-regulation, keeping your own physical and emotional needs in mind. Because no matter what stresses of anxieties your child may be experiencing, if you are in a good place, you will radiate that calm, loving energy to your family. Try to speak lightly and positively about the new adjustments ahead; you’ll often see your mindset reflected in your children.

We will be running an 18-day self-regulation challenge for parents after Yom Tov. To sign up, email register@handsonapproaches.com. It can be accessed on social media or via a call-in conference.

Friedy Singer and Roizy Guttmann are neurodevelopmental therapists and the directors of Hands on OT Rehab Services, Hands on Approaches, and the H.O.P.E. (Hands on Parent Empowerment) Foundation. They are focused on educating and empowering the community to help children with anxiety, processing and learning issues. They can be reached at info@handsonapproaches.com WELLSPRING / ELUL 5781

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Through Thick and Thin Which commitments are bound to last?

It’s that time of year again. Elul, the start of the new school year…and time to take stock of our past and commit toward an improved future.

When the inspiration hits, we start out with our undertaking armed with resolve and determination. But what happens as time passes? What will ensure that we remain committed to our pledge?

What to keep in mind when undertaking a kabbalah—or any sort of commitment, whether health or wellness or lifestyle—to ensure it actually endures.

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FEATURE

First, for the survey. Here, 50+ participants answered questions regarding their commitments that had lasting power and those that didn’t.

Age

46% Under 25

42% 25 - 45

12% 45+

What was your kabbalah or commitment?

To only use Instagram for work, not for leisure.

Not to look at my computer until after davening brachos.

Not to drink while eating, as per the Rambam’s advice.

To call my elderly grandmother every erev Shabbos.

Saying Tehillim for forty days.

To wear thicker tights.

To make sure my kerchief covers my ears when I leave the house so my hair doesn’t show.

To say Nishmas every day.

To smile at my husband when he comes home.

Not to wear eye makeup during the week.

To say Krias Shema inside the siddur.

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To daven Maariv.

To prepare negel vasser next to my bed and to say morning brachos from a siddur.

Not to read my messages before davening.

To read my email forums only once a day instead of hanging out on them throughout the day.

To cover my hair fully when wearing my fall.

To recite Borei Nefashos at least once daily while seated.

Not to look at news sites anymore.

Not to use my computer for entertainment purposes before 2:30 PM. I put a strict filter on my laptop. Also, for a week after, I tried to just smile, and not complain to my husband, for the first five minutes after he came home.

Clean my house for 20 minutes every night.

Be more consistent about washing negel vasser.

Clean the kitchen at night.

Eat a decent lunch.

To stop eating candy.

I made a kabbalah to wear longer skirts.

To take a brisk walk every day.

Not to eat junk food.

To remove my lenses at night.

To walk the treadmill three times a week for 30 minutes.

To say Nishmas for forty days as a zechus for an older single niece.

Not to look at my phone until after I daven Shacharis.

To wait 10 seconds before responding to someone who’s talking to me, to give them a place to complete what they want to say.

To say Krias Shema when I’m still fully dressed.

Not to say anything negative to my married children about their spouses.

Not to bite my nails on Shabbos.

To consciously think a positive thought about my husband and each of my children, every day.

To daven Shacharis every morning.

To say Krias Shema from inside a siddur every night.

Not to eat sugar.

To eat three meals a day with nothing in between.

Not to drink more than one cup of wine at the Shabbos seudah.

To learn the Daf Yomi every day.

Not to check my phone or email until after my kids leave for school.

To thank Hashem for His incredible chasadim, big and small, every day. I have a specified number of items I list every day.

To learn two halachos of shemiras halashon every day.

To say one perek of Tehillim every day.

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How long ago did you commit to it?

30%

37%

More than a year ago

Between 2 months and a year

33% Less than 2 months ago

What inspired you to undertake this commitment?

8%

A Tragedy

13%

37%

An inspiring lecture/book/ sefer/ conversation The need for a yeshuah for myself or someone else

28% 14%

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Sense of gratitude to Hashem

Other

Please elaborate on what inspired you to take on this kabbalah or commitment.

The Meron tragedy (15+ responses) I felt it was important for my health and digestion, and it was a doable change.

A friend begged me to join her.

I was stuck overseas on erev Yom Tov without my husband when all the flights were canceled, and I got home by a miracle.

It was something I’d been working on in general. I made it concrete and bitesized.

My friend’s brother was sick, and at one point, she wasn’t answering the phone, which frightened me. I took upon myself to say Krias Shema inside a siddur every night as a zechus for his refuah.

I took this on a very long time ago, and even though I wanted to stop at one point, I was told that I couldn’t because it was a neder for a good thing. It was in the zechus of a girl who had an aneurism, and Rabbi Fischel Schachter asked people to take something upon themselves. I have no idea what happened to the girl, whether she recovered or not.

Moishy Bergman, z”l, one of the Meron victims, was in my husband’s kollel. His wife, Shira, wrote a letter to the women of Klal Yisrael during one of the first days of shivah, about how important it was to him that his wife covered her hair fully. That this was on her mind during the most painful time in her life inspired me to not let it just pass me by.

I thought of all the husbands that didn’t come home from Meron and had renewed appreciation for mine!

The need for a functional house, and it seemed doable.

The realization that I need to do something to manage my hectic days, and that I needed to lose my baby weight.

I felt I couldn’t sit back and do nothing when Klal Yisrael had received such a strong wake-up call.

A friend who was doing this daily inspired me to do the same.

I was made aware of how dangerous it can be.

I wanted to do something for my health and weight.

A family member recruited a group of forty relatives to join the initiative on behalf of our niece.

I wanted to work on my kavanah during davening and I found that looking at my phone beforehand diminished it.

I heard a lecture that had a deep impact on me; it reminded me of how much people long to be listened to.

I wanted to do something to make the final moments of my day more meaningful.

Just taking a moment to realize how blessed I am to have a family of my own inspired me to do something pos-

itive about these gifts.

Rebbetzin Leah Kolodetsky told me in the name of her father, Rav Chaim Kanievski shlit”a, that when a woman takes the time to daven, she gets compensated for the time she spends on tefillah. She saves herself a half hour or so of time that would otherwise be wasted, such as waiting at an appointment or for a bus, or toiling unnecessarily over work. If she gives up from her sleep, the hours that she does sleep will be of better quality. In other words, she won’t lose out in any way.

I felt horrible being in a constant state of eating.

I was working on my emotional development, with a particular focus on addiction.

I was reading a lot about gratitude, especially the teachings of Rabbi Avigdor Miller zt”l (and also Rabbi David Ashear), and I felt so grateful for having been granted such a wonderful life. I’m likely in the top one percent of luckiest people in the world! I also heard a nice commentary on “Hodu laHashem ki tov, ki le’olam chasdo.”

Thank Hashem because He’s good, and He’ll guarantee that His chessed to you will carry on forever.

I read about a rebbetzin in northern Israel who raised a large family, and every day when her kids were in school, she’d spend about two hours saying Tehillim, davening for everything they needed. It struck me how we have so much to take care of each day, but saying Tehillim is like an appointment with Hashem, to talk with Him about everything we’re dealing with. I couldn’t do what she did, but I felt that on my level, I could try for at least a bit of that.

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FEATURE

Are you still keeping that commitment?

55%

Yes

25%

No

20%

Mostly, but not consistently

0

10

20

30

40

Several respondents who selected “No” explained: I only undertook my kabbalah for a certain amount of days, and those days passed already, so I’m no longer keeping it.

If you aren't, do you think that tweaking the commitment would make it more doable?

53% Yes

46% No

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How would you have tweaked this commitment for greater success?

I’d put a cap on how long I’d commit to saying Nishmas, because undertaking it permanently was a bit much.

it so hard! I thought I might keep it for longer, but I was too wiped when my husband came home to be all smiles.

Perhaps I’d say only part of Shema or maybe say it earlier, before I even get into pajamas.

I’d commit to putting on music rather than cleaning, because music usually gets me up and about, which makes cleaning so much easier. Committing to cleaning, which, in my eyes, is incredibly tedious, didn’t work. I wonder if I’d commit to just putting on music, it would motivate the cleaning.

I would have chosen to say a different, shorter tefillah that I was already doing, with more kavanah. For example, saying bedtime Krias Shema from a card or Al Hamichyah from a bentcher, rather than a whole, new (to me), long tefillah.

I’d leave myself a reminder somewhere.

I’m not sure I could tweak it. I can’t put negel vasser near my bed because of the crib there and, more often than not, when my toddler ventures in in the morning, she spills it…

I only took it on for a week, but I found

I’d commit to eat a decent lunch every

other day rather than every day.

I’d decide on a number of days for no candy, or certain days or hours. Basically, I’d take it on slowly.

I can’t tweak halachah, but it’s so hard to break a nail-biting habit that’s so ingrained in me!

I’d just have to push myself to make more of the right choices.

The commitment was too extreme. I’d set a more achievable goal.

Keeping a gratitude journal would make it more “trackable” and accountable (but not easier).

Every Day is Like the First With many kabbalos, we find that at first we’re driven by a sense of excitement and newness. Even if, or perhaps especially when, we commit to something that feels arduous in the moment, such as abstaining from a behavior or mode of appearance that’s become second nature, we’re impelled by a sense of mission when we first start out. Still, making that change can be grueling. We may be hit with doubt or fear. Eventually, Rav Eliyahu Dessler zt”l explains, our yetzer hara toward that particular behavior wanes and it is no longer the challenge it once was.

However, and I’ve found this to be incredibly encouraging and powerful, Rav Shach zt”l would say that for every positive change we undertake, even when it becomes second nature to us, we continue to receive the same sechar every single time we engage in it again.

Every single time. So whether it’s two days, two months, or two decades since we started a particular practice or began refraining from a particular behavior, we still reap the identical reward today, right now.

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FEATURE

If you’re still sticking to your commitment (good for you!), to what would you attribute your success?

I keep remembering how grateful I am.

The satisfaction of knowing I don’t skip a day without saying something to Hashem. Many times I continue to a full Shacharis if my time allows.

It’s not so hard, and I’d like to do whatever I can to take care of the vessel that holds my soul.

I see the pleasure it gives my grandmother, and I see how good I feel from doing the right thing.

It’s something that’s really hard for me, but I remind myself what a huge zechus it is for me and all the kedoshim.

I did it, but it felt like a long time, and it was on my head constantly. I managed because it was only forty days.

It helped that in order to undo my commitment, I’d have to consciously not buy the right tights. Also, I felt strongly it was something I should’ve been doing all along…

It’s not so difficult, and it’s only when I go out of the house, so every time I walk outside, I just make sure to cover my ears.

It’s on my mind because it’s regarding a value that’s very dear to me.

Personal tragedy is the worst—yet most effective—impetus for change.

I used to daven fully whenever I man104

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aged to, but now I only say brachos and Shema, which makes it much more doable.

It was something I found manageable, and I just wanted to be a better person.

Baruch Hashem, I merited the yeshuah I wanted, but I want to see it through until the end.

It improved my quality of life. I was wasting away my mornings at the computer and now I have so much more free time.

It’s small and something I remember easily.

The filter is still on my internet and that’s because I can’t remove it so easily, which is a good thing.

It’s too important to me.

I told a few close people about it, which helped. Also, it was long overdue for me to do it, I just needed a more committed way of dealing with it.

It’s quite doable and I try to make the exercising fun; that way, it doesn’t get boring.

It’s not forever, and I’m happy to do my hishtadlus to help my niece.

It’s a great feeling to be able to be a good listener, to truly be on the giving

end as much as possible. I see how others appreciate it so much.

It’s become a habit, baruch Hashem.

It takes a lot of hard work, but I pat myself on the back and am happy to do something to encourage more shalom in the family. It’s the knowledge that I’m doing the right thing, especially when it’s hard for me.

I set a time frame when I usually think the thoughts—right after I finish davening in the morning. This way, it’s hard to forget and it’s become second nature by now.

The connection and spiritual centering that daily tefillah provides is priceless.

I daven a lot to be able to stick to it.

Siyata d’Shmaya is the answer for everything. I’m also honest with myself if I feel I’m about to fall, and I delve deeply into what’s going on inside.

I’m part of an excellent, engaging shiur, and a daf a day is very doable.

It enhances my life and helps me be a more present mother to my children.

It’s easy, it’s light, and it makes me so happy!

It’s small, achievable, and I have a set time when I do it—straight after davening Shacharis—so it fits into my routine.

Any other thoughts on the topic?

May we merit taking on kabbalos before a tragedy happens. Hopefully our good intentions will help prevent it.

When you really want to do something positive and take a step in the right direction, Hashem helps you maintain it.

Inspiration fades with time, but the stronger you start off, the longer it will last.

Once I felt I had to do this, more and more things came to mind, and I felt like the list of improvements would never end. I called my rebbetzin, and she said that all the other voices were the yetzer hara (even if he was telling me good things) because he wanted me to despair and give up. Instead, she advised me to tell myself and Hashem, “That this is what I am doing now,” and see the good and strength in it.

I’ve taken on this kabbalah so many times already; I don’t know if I should give up or keep trying.

I’ve found it much easier to do some-

thing as a one-off that you can’t reverse afterward, such as getting a strong filter or cutting my sheitels for tznius, than changing a daily habit or natural reaction.

The easiest time to make a commitment, even a big one, is when you’re very passionate about something. But after some time, the excitement wears off, and you may even find yourself back at square one. So when you have the passion and are making a commitment, make it smaller so it’s doable and can last. Or, give the commitment an end date or a date for reevaluation, so you know you’re heading toward a goal. You can then tweak when you get to that date.

I have no regrets. It’s really hard sometimes, but I think about how proud and happy I am, as well as my husband and, of course, Hashem!

The more I told myself I was on a diet, the more I ate!

When you want to do something right and you have a true ratzon to go out

of your comfort zone for Hashem’s sake, you experience incredible siyata d’Shmaya.

“Pischu li pesach kechudo shel machat ve’ani eftach lachem pesach kepischo shel ulam.” When we take a small step in the right direction, Hashem opens the gates for us.

Sometimes you have to allow for exceptions, which is why I wrote “mostly.” Unless something is Torah itself, there are times when we feel more committed and times when our resolve isn’t as strong.

I strongly advise every single Yid to make thanking Hashem a focus in their life. We have so much good! There’s such a horrible focus on tragedy right now, did you stop to think how many people have flown on airplanes safely in the past year? How many people enjoyed a rebbe’s tisch on bleachers safely this past year? How many people survived swimming and driving and vacationing with happy hearts?

There’s so much good that we can open our eyes to.

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FEATURE

The Findin

gs

According to the results, most partici that when co pants found mmitments w ere doable, able to main they were tain them, w hich is not su However, th rprising. e definition of doable var subjects. So ied among me described them as easy porate into to incortheir daily sc hedule, whil felt they had e o thers the right en vironment in carry them which to out. Still oth ers noted th commitmen at when a t was meanin gful to them perceived it , or they s importance , they were to keep at it m otivated .

Interestingly, there was n o significant tion betwee correlan how long ago respond undertaken ents had their commit ment and w it was still b hether eing mainta ined. In oth while time d er words, oes have its way of causi weakening o n ga f our resolve, it doesn’t pla significant ro ya le in influen cing what is important to really us. With siya ta d’Shmaya, course, those of who have a d esire to rem committed to ain something, and try thei best to keep r it up, can se e much succ possibly even es s— more deepen ed adherence—with the passage of time. May merit to rem we ain committe d to all of o positive end u r eavors and to experience change we se th e ek in order to become o best selves in ur every way.

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Through Wear and Tear 4 Tips for Remaining Committed 1. One Step at a Time

3. Encouragement

Rav Yisrael Salanter zt”l, who encouraged Yidden to undertake kabbalos in an effort to improve their avodas Hashem, often emphasized the importance of committing to small, doable steps as opposed to an intense overhaul. He would remind his disciples of the value in every small step we take toward improving ourselves— that it’s precisely when we do it slow and steady that the change is lasting and genuine.

Once you’ve chosen a doable undertaking from a positive place, it’s time to actually carry it out. For that, the way to go is through being or recruiting a constant source of encouragement and positive reinforcement. If you find it challenging to be your own cheerleader, work with a partner who will play that role for you. Undertake something together and cheer each other on as you pass milestones together. One tangible form of encouragement is through rewarding yourself. This does not necessarily have to be a material prize; it can be making a little siyum or having a special dinner after finishing a learning project or maintaining a commitment for a set amount of time. The idea is to celebrate your successes and keep moving forward even when you’ve missed a day or two. At such times, remind yourself that sheva yipol tzaddik vekam.

There’s always the next moment to do it right again. It’s through positive reinforcement and patting yourself on the back that you’ll keep at it, with the help of Hashem.

Instead of committing to a general, broad kabbalah such as “I won’t speak lashon hara,” he would recommend to break down the commitment into smaller parts. By undertaking a bite-sized change, such as a machsom l’fi or learning two halachos every day, or first for a set period of time, such as the month of Tishrei, the chances for endurance are significantly greater.

2. What’s Driving Me? While this is a more overlooked element in determining a commitment’s endurance, it’s critical to pay attention to it for the sake of the commitment’s success.

When you decide to take on a small change, whether to abstain from a negative deed or add on something positive, the force that’s motivating you to do so is very likely to determine how long that undertaking will last.

If one is being driven by a negative emotion, such as guilt, fear, self-loathing, or even a need to please, not only will the undertaking be accompanied by resentment, but these emotions will deter the individual from maintaining the change.

On the contrary, if the undertaking emanates from positive emotions, such as gratitude, connection to spirituality, or a desire to take care of oneself (such as when undertaking a health or lifestyle change), the changes for long-term success are greater.

While this is an important element in determining endurance, it requires an honest self-check as well as exploration as to why we feel the way we do. Often, it’s worth it to first work on cultivating positive emotions toward self-improvement before biting off more than one can chew.

4. Tefillah No matter what we choose to undertake, davening for its success on a steady basis is a critical component to determining its success. Whether it’s “Hashem, please give me the desire, patience, and energy to do my exercise,” “Please help me keep my hour of machsom l’fi today,” or, “Please help me see the beauty in what I’m doing as a zechus for…” it’s through constant prayer that we open the vessels for continued success, in this realm and all others.

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107

INNER PARENTING

Why Should My Child Listen to Me?

By Rabbi Ezra Friedman In today’s day and age, an incredible bilbul hada’as permeates in regard to chinuch. On the one hand, we hear about the importance of love, only love. On the other hand, we’re told that kids thrive on boundaries and must have set rules and regulations.

These mixed messages may leave us parents feeling at a loss: Am I harming my kids when I set rules? Am I being too harsh when I tell them what to do? Am I being too permissive in my desire to shower them with love?

Although no chinuch is better than bad chinuch, the mechanchim say, what is considered good chinuch?

What is the effective parenting approach—yes boundaries or no boundaries, yes unconditional love or no unconditional love? If we want the right answer to this question, we 108

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need to look into the words of Chazal, which are saturated with timeless wisdom. Chazal tell us that when it comes to parenting, we must develop a balance: “Semol docheh veyamin mekareves” (Sanhedrin 107b). Our kids need both the boundaries and the love in order to thrive. Using just one attitude—only the left or only the right—won’t cut it.

Let’s understand what semol docheh and yamin mekareves actually mean, why this dual approach is effective, and how we can put this timeless wisdom into practice in our own parenting.

It’s Our Nature First, let’s ask ourselves a very simple question we may have never

thought to ask ourselves or explore more deeply: What motivates my child to listen to me? What drives my child to obey my command? If the answer is fear—whether of punishment, consequence, feeling unloved, or not being on my good side—we may not be in the right place as the mechanech, and thus the proper relationship between the mechanech and the mischanech may be lacking.

To understand what the right answer to the question should be, let’s ask ourselves another question: Why should my child listen to me at all?

What’s my right to tell my child what to do? Obviously, we as Yidden know that the Torah commands children to listen to and respect the wishes of their parents, but that’s the child’s domain. From our perspective as par-

ents, what gives us the authority and the right to issue commands? And what gives the child a reason to follow them?

The simple answer is the nature that Hashem implanted in every human being—that a person wants to follow the command of the one in authority. As an example, just as Hashem implanted in us the natural emotion of hakaras hatov, of feeling grateful to someone who did something positive for us, without being threatened or punished to do so and without understanding why we feel that way—we just feel that way because that’s how we feel—He programmed us to naturally want to follow the command of the one in charge. Every human being is born with an innate behavior to carry out the command of his leader, be it a boss at work, a captain of the ship, or a parent in the home. Just as it’s natural for us to feel appreciation for someone who performed a good deed for us—it’s not that I must repay you or I’m afraid not to repay you— when a child is in his natural, healthy state, an inner voice will tell him, “He’s the boss here. Listen to him.”

If there’s a figure of authority at the helm—who has our best interests in mind—we instinctively want to obey, and we don’t feel good if we disobey.

All of this is especially true in our youth. Young children in particular crave a figure of authority and seek it out at all times.

Hence, a child should not be obeying us from a place of fear. Rather, the child’s motivation to listen should emanate from his natural obedience—a willingness to listen—toward the authority.

Why the Struggle?

If this is the case, why do we find that our kids aren’t simply listening to us? If they’re so desperate for an authority figure in their lives and obeying the higher-ups is their natural need and wish, why is there a concept of kids disobeying at all?

And why is parenting such a univer-

sal struggle? This is where we, as the parents—and our inner parenting— come into the picture.

All of what we discussed above is what occurs when the authority figure actually fills his position, leading with confidence and assurance, fully aware of his role in the structure of which he’s at the helm. If he’s in any place other than this one—either not being aware of his role as the leader, or not feeling that way—his leadership will automatically come across as faulty. In general, this will present in one of two ways. Either the parent won’t be able to properly express his

True leadership is not through coercion, threats, or people-pleasing.

When we feel that we’re the authority and we have our child’s best interests in mind, our command reflects that. command and will not provide the powerful direction the child seeks, or he may resort to forceful tactics and authoritarian parenting, which is also not what appropriate leadership is about. True leadership is not through coercion, threats, or people-pleasing.

When we feel that we’re the authority and we have our child’s best interests in mind, our command reflects that. When we issue our command, it’s without hesitation, doubt, or fear.

It’s clear, well-expressed, and portrays our confidence in our status in

the home and our belief that the child will obey.

If, when I tell my child to do something, my command emanates from the knowledge and feeling that I am the person in charge of this home and I rightfully fill this position, the child will feel it and his natural place of obedience will be triggered into action. He will listen respectfully, with acceptance and trust. But if my command emanates from a place of uncertainty, then no matter what words or gestures I use, it will not present itself effectively.

Even when we may appear confident in our role as the leader in the home, the child will detect immediately when we doubt our own authority. (“I wonder if he’ll listen to me.”

“Am I allowed to say this?” “Am I doing the right thing by saying this?”)

If the child senses our self-doubt, he is likely to try reasoning with us. Alternatively, if he detects that we’re coming with too much force, trying to reign over him, we’re giving him an opening to fight back. While the difference between a dictator and an authoritative leader can be very subtle, it is the authoritative leader that kids want to obey. No one wants to be dictated upon, kids included.

Although one article can’t suffice to clearly lay out the foundations to transform a parent from a dictator or self-doubting leader into an authoritative captain, what we can do here is bring awareness of the child’s natural capacity to be obedient and find a way to tap into that. Instead of focusing on our kids doing what we want them to do, we can work on ourselves and develop the healthy leader in us, with the confidence and clarity to guide others, not as a dictator nor as a people-pleaser. When we learn how to develop this part of ourselves, we can avoid so much of the threatening, bribing, altercations, and negative energy that often pervades our day-today parenting. Because, at the end of the day, our kids are desperate for us to be that healthy leader for them in their lives.

Rabbi Ezra Friedman coaches bachurim and men in their quest toward leading a meaningful life with inner peace and contentment.

Through a Torah and Chassidus perspective, he guides individuals to understand and connect to themselves and to their inner emotional world. He lives with his family in Yerushalayim.

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WELLBEING FEATURE

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AUGUST 2021 / ELUL 5781 / ISSUE 67

Back to School LUNCH OF LOVE

2 PERFECT MEALS

HOME AND FAMISHED

WHAT TO SERVE WHEN THEY'RE BACK HOME

FREEZER STOCKING 101

START WITH THESE CHICKEN CAPONS

MY TABLE: WHAT WE SEND ALONG WITH OUR KIDS

132 Trail Mix

By Esti Asher, MS,RDN, LD

137 Energize

By Elky Friedman

117 Home & Famished

By Yossi & Malky Levine

123 Lunch of Love

By Charnie Kohn

129 SWAP

By Yossi & Malky Levine

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142 My Table Fuel for the Day

World’s favorite bite-sized ice cream, now Cholov Yisroel.

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Enjoy Heaven & Earth Garden Snaps, a healthy snack made from whole green peas.

Baked, not fried for a crispy, satisfying texture.

Try all four great flavors: Sea Salt, Hot & Spicy, Garlic-Onion and Falafel.

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EDITOR'S NOTE

Dear Cooks,

We’re still in August, but the back-to-school atmosphere is in full swing. With that, comes the pre-Yamim Tovim excitement. And so, in this issue we bring you not only a variety of schoolfocused content, but also two excellent recipes for those who want to start stocking their freezer today. By the time our next issue hits the newsstands, you’ll probably be more or less set with your Yom Tov cooking (unless you’re of the cooking-on-Yom-Tov camp—I totally get you on that). So we figured now would be the right time to give you some ideas for an earlier head start.

If freezer-stocking is your thing, you probably know which foods work best when frozen in advance. There’s nothing like the immense pleasure of opening a freezer stacked with neatly labeled pans filled with hearty and traditional dishes awaiting their turn to be enjoyed at the festive Yom Tov meals. But as much as I love pulling ready-made dishes from the freezer, there are quite a few foods I prefer preparing as close to serving time as possible.

That list includes salads (of course!), roasted vegetables, lukshen for the soup (it always tastes

too starchy when I freeze it—send me your tips, please!), dips, potato kugel (we love it super fresh), and believe it or not, meats. I know most people prefer cooking their meats in advance, but my freezer space is too tight to allow for that kind of stocking. I don’t mind putting up my meat on erev Yom Tov and having it cook until the zeman, when I transfer it to the hot plate.

The downside of that is that I can’t get those gorgeous, perfectly thin slices that frozen meat allows for, but the taste is amazing anyway. I also don’t freeze chicken soup because we’re big fans of the vegetables, which tend to lose their perfect texture once frozen.

So what do I freeze? Challah, though I’ve learned over the years to be a bit more flexible with my baking, and I’ve had Fridays and other erevs where I managed to put up additional batches when needed. (My kids are still young, so I prefer being more available to them on such days.) Desserts get prepped in advance too, as well as some mains. What do you stock your freezer with? Let me know what works for you so we can share it with all of our Seasoned cooks!

Happy prepping,

Esther

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Home and Famished When the kids walk through the door after a long day at school, all we want to do is be there for them in every way we can. Part of that is offering them the kind of food they’ll be excited to eat but that will satisfy and nourish them at the same time.

While a bag of chips may be easy to grab and serve, nutritious options that are also tasty don't have to be complicated. Of course, an apple or baby carrots can do the trick, but we know that it can be hard to entice kids to eat raw fruits and vegetables day after day.

That's why we're sharing recipes that offer the best of both worlds — tempting, naturally sweet, and with plenty of nutrition to boot. Using popsicle or cake pop sticks for presentation has proven to attract more of those little hands. (Well, not exactly a controlled study; we recommend you do your own anecdotal research on this one.)

Bonus points if your kids want to help you prepare these foods. They’ll be all the more excited to eat them too.

Recipes, Styling, and Photography by Yossi & Malky Levine

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HOME AND FAMISHED

Cereal Bar Pops Cereal bars are a classic choice for kids of all ages. For a healthy take that will satisfy a child with even the biggest sweet tooth, try these naturally sweetened ones. For an added nutrition boost, include antioxidant-rich ingredients like dried fruit and flaxseed.

Take these up a notch by dipping them into chocolate and sprinkling with shredded coconut.

4 Tbsp coconut oil ¼ cup coconut sugar ¼ cup honey ½ tsp coarse salt pinch cinnamon 3 cups multigrain (or plain) cheerios ¾ cup roasted unsalted almonds, roughly chopped For Assembly (optional) dark chocolate, melted coconut flakes

Line an 8-inch square baking pan with parchment paper.

In medium saucepan, combine coconut oil, coconut sugar, honey, salt, and cinnamon. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly. Continue to boil for 1 to 2 minutes.

Remove from heat and stir in cereal and almonds. Pour into prepared pan, pressing down with a rubber spatula to create an even layer.

Let cool completely (about 30 minutes), then cut into desired bar shapes.

If desired, stick a popsicle stick or skewer into the bars, dip into melted chocolate, and sprinkle with shredded coconut.

Yield: 12–16 bars

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HOME AND FAMISHED

Mini Booster Pancake Stacks These quick, easy, and delicious pancakes make a perfect after-school snack (as well as a great breakfast option). Rich in protein, fiber, and omega 3s, they have everything your child needs to focus and reboot before or after a long school day.

Pancakes

Toppings

¾ cup almond milk

blueberries

¾ cup oats

strawberries, sliced

2 Tbsp ground flaxseed

bananas, sliced

½ banana

maple syrup

2 Tbsp honey ½ tsp vanilla extract ¼ tsp cinnamon pinch sea salt 1 tsp baking powder 1 large egg coconut oil, for frying

Place all pancake ingredients except for egg and coconut oil into a blender. Blend until oats are ground and everything is mixed well.

Add egg and pulse until incorporated.

Heat a griddle or skillet over medium heat and melt a teaspoon or two of coconut oil. For each pancake, pour about a tablespoon of batter onto the griddle. (You can test and decide in a size that works for you.) Cook until brown both sides, about a minute or 2 per side. Transfer to a cooling rack.

To assemble, layer pancakes and fruit onto a cake pop stick and drizzle with maple syrup.

Alternatively, prepare the pancakes, pop sticks, fruits, and syrup separately, and have the kids assemble their own pops before eating them.

Yield: About 40 mini pancakes

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LUNCH OF LOVE A balanced midday meal is imperative to the development of a healthy, happy child. Whether your kids are required to bring lunch to school, or the school’s lunch doesn’t work for them, here are two ideas you can send them off with that are well-balanced and delicious and will allow them to be their best and most energized selves.

Charnie

Recipes, Styling, and Photography by Charnie Kohn

DAY BY DAY

FIBER BARS These bars are the perfect way to add fiber to your child’s diet without you having to sit there pleading with them to take “just one bite.” With these bars, the roles will be reversed: your kid will be begging you for more!

½ cup honey 2 Tbsp almond butter ⅛ tsp salt 2 cups Fiber One cereal 2 Tbsp white chocolate, chopped

Combine honey, almond butter, and salt in a small pan. Heat over medium heat until mixture melts. Turn off heat and pour in cereal. Allow mixture to cool for a couple of minutes, then stir in chocolate. Spread onto lined baking sheet and refrigerate until hardened. Cut into bars.

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DAY BY DAY

SALMON PASTA SALAD I love this recipe for so many reasons—it’s simple to prepare, packed with delicious flavors, and can easily be customized to your child’s palate. Use fun-shaped or fun-colored pastas to add to the excitement. Here, I used vegetable-based pasta, which lends bright colors to the dish, as well as nutrition.

3 cups cooked pasta or pasta alternative of your choice 1 can salmon, drained 1 red pepper, diced 10 olives, halved 4 Tbsp lite mayonnaise ½ tsp salt ½ tsp garlic powder

Combine all ingredients and toss until everything is fully incorporated.

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WELLBEING FEATURE

WIN-W IN RAFFLE

Savor.

Scratch.

Win. A C H A N C E I N E V E RY H E R R I N G

ALL HERRIN G COMES W ITH A SCRATC H-OFF CARD

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SWA P

By Yossi & Malky Levine

Oil Substitutes

Applesauce

The role of oil in most dishes is to add lubrication and flavor. In certain cases, applesauce can do the job. The plus side of using applesauce is that the dish will be healthier and contain fewer calories. The downside, however, is that the dish won’t hold up as well and may dry out quicker.

Use unsweetened applesauce to avoid altering the flavor. If a recipe calls for one cup of oil, try replacing with ½ cup of olive oil and ½ cup of applesauce.

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SWAP

Cinnamon Apple Muffins with Oat Streusel These muffins are not simply oil free, but they are totally addictive. Put them into a kid's lunch box, or enjoy as a grab-and-go snack.

Muffins

Oat Streusel

1½ cups whole wheat flour

3 Tbsp oats

½ cup coconut sugar

1 Tbsp whole wheat flour

½ tsp baking powder

1 Tbsp coconut sugar

½ tsp baking soda

1 Tbsp melted coconut oil

1 tsp cinnamon ½ tsp salt 1 cup applesauce 2 eggs ⅓ cup maple syrup 1 tsp pure vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350°F and line muffin pan with muffin cups.

Combine dry ingredients in a bowl. In a separate bowl, whisk applesauce, eggs, maple syrup, and vanilla. Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients and mix with a wooden spoon until combined. Pour into muffin cups.

Mix streusel ingredients and sprinkle on top of each muffin. Bake for 25 minutes.

Yields: 12 muffins

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TIDBITS

MIX UP YOUR SCHOOL SNACKS WITH TRAIL MIX Searching for a delicious snack idea that is sure to please even the most particular of your children? Look no further. Trail mix is an A+ snack that should make its debut early on this school year.

By Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD, is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Self-Care Enthusiast on a mission to help women reach their ultimate health and wellbeing potential inside and out. She shares credible, clear, and inspiring nutrition information with women via her virtual private practice. To contact Esti with feedback or inquiries regarding her nutritional services, please email her at: esti@estiashernutrition.com or visit estiashernutrition.com.

For over four years, I taught nutrition education to thousands of students from grades K to 12.

We would frequently celebrate the completion of our four-to-six-class curricula with trail mix.

My students thoroughly enjoyed the snack (often begging for seconds and thirds) and were even surprised when they tried (and enjoyed!) unfamiliar ingredients that I would include within the mix such as (*spoiler alert*) roasted edamame.

The trail mix that I’m referring to is the kind that you create yourself (or it can also be a great activity for your kids to prepare), as opposed to the high-sugar premade options found in stores.

Assembling your own trail mix also allows for the flexibility to change it up to appeal to your children’s preferences. Have fun and be creative; the end product is customizable and delicious.

Aim to include two or three food groups for a well-rounded and nutritionally balanced winning snack for all ages.

Below are six categories of trail mix ingredient suggestions. Just choose, mix, and enjoy!

Cereal

Dried fruit

Cereal is a convenient component of trail mix. I suggest using a low-sugar, whole-grain, high(er)-fiber cereal. This grain component should ideally be a neutral flavor that can support and balance the stronger flavors present in the rest of the mixture.

For some sweetness and chewy texture, consider adding dried fruit to your trail mix. There are so many delicious possibilities to explore! You can stick with the basic raisins and dried cranberries, or get more creative with dried apricots, blueberries, or cherries.

Freeze-dried fruit

Seeds

A unique alternative (or perhaps addition) to the more popular dried fruit, freeze-dried fruit has a lighter and more airy feel since a higher percentage of water has been removed. Popular freeze-dried fruit options include strawberries and apples. These ingredients offer unique texture and a potential pop of color.

A great way to add protein is by adding nuts and/or seeds. Since many schools are nut-free due to allergies, seeds may be a safer ingredient to include. Shelled sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds are great trail mix components. Of course, make sure that your child is old enough to eat these ingredients (and all ingredients from this list), as they can be a choking hazard for younger kids.

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TIDBITS

Want a decreased risk of colorectal cancer?

Try ditching (or at least reducing) sugar-sweetened beverages.

Roasted chickpeas or edamame An additional way to include protein and fiber is by adding a shelf-stable roasted chickpea or roasted edamame snack to the trail mix.

This ingredient may be the most adventurous from this list, but is worth introducing to your children (and yourself!). These ingredients have a savory flavor and satisfying crunch, and will add to the satiety factor of your mixture.

Chocolate chips For an element of surprise and added sweetness, sprinkle some chocolate chips or cacao nibs into the mix as well. If your child doesn’t already feel like they have the coolest snack in the class, the chocolate surprises will seal the deal.

You can assemble your trail mix in bulk and then portion out as needed or create a different combination each time.

And a final tip — always make more than you think you need… this versatile and crowd-pleasing snack may disappear faster than you think. Happy mixing!

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We have heard it many times before – sugar-sweetened beverages should be limited because they can negatively affect our health, but is that really true? Our teens (and ourselves) may often be found sipping on Frappuccinos, Slurpees and sodas. The kids are so active and still growing, so maybe the high sugar content gets doesn’t make much of a difference? According to new research, not only is that suggestion incorrect, but it’s specifically during the time of adolescence that we must be extra careful to limit sugar-sweetened beverages.

Colorectal cancer is an illness that is typically diagnosed during older ages; however, the average age upon diagnosis has decreased, with more cases of early-onset colorectal cancer. In this context, early-onset is referring to a diagnosis before the age of 50. New research from Washington University School of Medicine has linked heavy consumption of high sugar drinks, specifically between the ages of 13–18, to an increased rate of being diagnosed with early-onset colorectal cancer. The population studied were women; the women who drank two or more (8-ounce) drinks per day were twice as likely to develop early-onset colorectal cancer in comparison to women who drank less than one serving each day. There’s another reason to emphasize water and other unsweetened drinks while still making sure to stay well-hydrated this summer and all year round.

Not Just for Digestion A prune a day may keep the heart disease away.

Heart disease is the leading cause of death worldwide.

Known as the “silent killer,” it’s worth putting a lot emphasis on ways to keep your heart healthy. Eating a diet rich with fruits and vegetables, incorporating physical activity, and maintaining a lower stress level are ways to help improve heart health.

A research team from San Diego University has discovered another specific suggestion for improving heart health: eating prunes daily. The study, published by the Journal of Medicinal Food, followed healthy, post-menopausal women; the women who ate 5–6 prunes (50 grams) per day over a period of 6 months had an increase in HDL (“good” cholesterol) and therefore a lower ratio of total cholesterol to HDL. The women also had an increase in antioxidant levels and a decrease inflammation, which has countless health benefits.

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Legendary make any meal

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ENERGIZE y k l E h it Hi all,

w

Preparing Yom Tov meals takes time and work, but the investment is certainly well worth it when your family and guests sit down to enjoy a festive seudah together.

If you’d like to incorporate healthy dishes into your menu, getting it all done takes planning too. Here are two delicious and healthy recipes that have been a Yom Tov staple in my home for many years. Both of them freeze well, so they’re easy to prep in advance.

Enjoy them in good health!

Elky Friedman

Recipes and Text by Elky Friedman Styling and Photography by Pessi Piller

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ENERGIZE

Apple Carrot Muffins A perfect addition to your Rosh Hashanah and Tishrei menu, this muffin is super moist and delicious. You’ve probably tried some kind of carrot muffin in the past, and may have made apple muffins, too. But the combination of the two is simply divine.

Sure helps that it’s a wholesome recipe too so you’re off to a good start!

3 eggs ½ cup oil ½ cup applesauce 1 cup pure maple syrup 1 tsp vanilla extract 2½ cups whole wheat flour* 2 tsp baking soda ½ tsp salt 1½ tsp cinnamon ½ cup shredded unsweetened coconut 2 cups shredded carrots 1 cup shredded apple (or diced small)

Preheat oven to 375 F. Line or spray muffin cups.

In mixer bowl, combine eggs, oil, applesauce, maple syrup, and vanilla.

Add flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon. Mix very well.

Add shredded coconut, shredded carrot, and shredded apple. Fold into batter and combine well.

Pour into prepared muffin cups Bake for 20–22 minutes, until toothpick comes out clean. *White whole wheat flour works fine as well.

Yield: 20 muffins

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ENERGIZE

Stuffed Chicken Capons Here’s a fabulous, light main that works so well for any Yom Tov meal. Packed with nutrition and flavor, it looks beautiful too.

I actually make this recipe using the tops of the chicken, deboned, with the skin intact. They can be made with capons, too, but my family appreciates the taste and texture of tops, so tops it is.

For the Stuffing

For the Chicken

½ cup brown rice Salt and pepper, to taste

8 deboned chicken tops, skin attached (or 8 capons)

1 Tbsp oil

Garlic powder, to taste

1 small onion, diced

Paprika, to taste

1 small zucchini, cut into half moons

Salt and pepper, to taste

1 small red pepper, sliced in thin strips

4 Tbsp orange juice

1 4-oz can mushrooms

3 Tbsp balsamic vinegar

2 cloves garlic

3 Tbsp duck sauce (or honey)

1 Tbsp cooking wine

3 tsp Dijon mustard

1 Tbsp Dijon mustard 1 tsp salt Dash of pepper

Prepare rice according to package instructions, seasoning with salt and pepper. Cook in a pot (or here’s my secret: cook in a pan in the oven).

Meanwhile, in a deep saucepan, sauté onion in oil until translucent.

Add zucchini, pepper, and mushrooms and cook for another 5 minutes.

Add garlic, cooking wine, mustard, salt, and pepper. Cook for another 2 minutes. Turn off flame.

Remove rice from pot or pan and combine with vegetable mixture. Let cool.

Preheat oven to 350°F. On a flat surface, turn chicken pieces over, belly side up, and fill with heaping spoonful of vegetable and rice mixture. Place in a baking pan with seam side down.

Once all pieces of chicken are in pan, season with the garlic powder, paprika, salt, and pepper.

In a small mixing bowl, combine orange juice, balsamic vinegar, duck sauce (or honey), and mustard. Pour over chicken. Cover pan tightly.

Bake for 1 ½ hours. Uncover and bake for another 15 minutes.

Yield: 8 servings *If you don’t use mustard during Tishrei, omit and add a bit of soy sauce instead.

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THIS MONTH

In the pages of Wellspring, we share expert advice from some of the community’s most popular and competent dietitians and nutritionists. In this column, you get to see how they practice what they preach in their own kitchens. Pull up a chair at “My Table” and join the chat.

FUEL FOR THE DAY We want to send our kids off with some good fuel for their day of learning, but we know they won’t touch the foods that don’t appeal to them. What works for your family?

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S

What I pack for my kids depends on each child because they each like something else and their preferences are constantly changing.

My younger ones love berries and cucumbers.

Some like spiced olives.

One daughter loves kale. But as much as they can love their berries, they love their junk too. Every week we rotate portioned snacks of their choice, and they get to pack their snacks themselves.

Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE

Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

Compiled by Shiffy Friedman

B

All my kids need to take a fruit or vegetable to school. I often cut up veggies and send along a small container of homemade dip. Aside from a food or vegetable, great healthier snacks that we buy for school are: rice rollers, Trader Joe's granola bar balls, fruit leathers and fruit cups, organic tortilla chips and popcorn, veggie straws, and Landau’s oat bran or spelt pretzels. Some of my kids take a homemade oatmeal muffin as well.

- Sliced apples with peanut butter or any nut butter (beware of allergies).

- Nut mixes. Several brands, such as Klein’s Naturals, sell little bags with nuts or trail mix.

This is a great grab-and-go and will provide your little ones with lots of energy.

- String cheese. Cheese is mostly made up of protein and fat and is a good source of calcium.

- Good old fruit! A piece of fruit is a convenient and healthy snack for kids. Most fruits contain fiber and important nutrients like potassium and vitamins A and C. Bananas, apples, pears, grapes, peaches, and plums are examples of fruits that can be used for grab-and-go snacks. You can cut up fruits like pineapple, cantaloupe, and mango into bite-size pieces and store in small containers for convenient snacks.

- Olives. They’re rich in healthy fats and packed with powerful antioxidants that protect your body from damaging molecules. It helps that they’re soft and easy for kids to eat. Make sure you purchase pitted ones for kids.

- Here’s a recipe for delicious, nutrient-dense energy balls that make for a great snack, too.

1 cup oats ⅓ cup honey ½ cup almond butter ½ cup ground flaxseed or whole chia seeds 1 tsp vanilla ½ cup dried fruit such as mango pieces, dried blueberries, or raisins Mix all ingredients in a large bowl. Roll mixture into small balls and refrigerate. For a treat, substitute dried fruit with chopped dark chocolate chips or cocoa nibs.

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

- Carrot sticks with chummus.

H

For older kids (when it doesn’t pose a choking hazard), popcorn is a great snack — whole grain, kid-approved, and very budget friendly — especially if you make it yourself. In our house, we make popcorn regularly. I don’t follow a recipe or use any fancy techniques.

I simply take a pot (I use a big soup pot because the popcorn gets eaten up quickly), pour a thin layer of oil along the bottom, pour in some popcorn kernels (enough to cover the bottom of the pot without overcrowding), cover the pot with a lid, and turn the flame onto medium-high heat. After a few minutes, you should hear the popcorn popping. Keep the fire on until you hear the popping slow down, as this will be your cue to turn off the flame.

It’s also fun to play with different spices and flavor combinations to sprinkle on top of the popcorn. Just make sure to season the popcorn after it’s already popped to prevent the spices from burning during the popcorn-making process.

Gila Glassberg, MS, RDN, CDN

Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC

I

While I love baking healthy cookies and muffins for the kids to take to school, here are some quick, delicious snack ideas that work great too.

S

This is a great question and my answer may be unconventional. But in the days before I discovered the concept of intuitive eating, I was the mom sending her daughter to school with salmon, whole wheat noodles, and broccoli. It turned out that my daughter didn’t eat any of it. Over the years I've come to learn that kids (and adults) are social creatures and feel very odd being the only one eating a certain type of food.

These days, I send my kids to school with foods I know they’ll eat, like a bagel with cream cheese, and I'll add in a cut-up cucumber. For a fruit, I’ll send something like a fruit leather because peppers and clementines aren’t so appealing.

When they come home nice and starving from school, I try to have fresh fruit and vegetables for them to much on as a snack and with their dinner.

I find this to be a great way to get them to happily taste and enjoy these foods.

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Leah Wolofsky, MS, RDN 144

H

This is my first year with a kid in school, and where I live, parents have to pack both snacks and lunch every day. Some healthier snack options that I personally love include cut-up fruit in a baggie or container (grapes are an easy-prep option), a rice cake and slice of cheese, nuts (if not in a nut-free school), and squeezable yogurt pouches. In terms of “noshier” snacks, popcorn (either air-popped, lite, or popped in a brown bag in the microwave), pretzels, and any baked chip are good options compared to the fried stuff.

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D

I pack snacks in sandwich bags, such as popcorn, veggie straws, pretzels, seaweed snacks, fruit, or even cut-up colorful veggies — all portion-friendly and easy to enjoy on the go. Some snacks are not necessarily healthy but aren’t unhealthy either, are low in calories, and a better alternative to snacks available in school.

Here’s a snack recipe that my kids really enjoy. Hope yours will too!

Oatmeal-Chocolate-Raisin Cookies 4 Tbsp sweetener ¾ cup brown sugar Splenda 2 Tbsp oil ⅓ cup applesauce ½ tsp vanilla extract 2 egg whites ½ tsp baking soda ½ tsp cinnamon pinch salt 1½ cups oats ¼ cup raisins Preheat oven to 375°F. Combine sweetener, brown sugar, oil, and applesauce. Mix well. Add vanilla and egg whites.

In another bowl combine baking soda, cinnamon, and salt.

Combine dry ingredients with sugar mixture. Mix until well blended. Stir in oats and raisins.

Drop by tablespoon on a greased baking sheet about 2 inches apart.

Bake for 7 to 10 minutes or until golden brown. Makes 16 cookies.

Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

D

I prepare cut-up fruit or salad in containers, along with pretzels, popcorn, or other low-calorie snacks.

Tanya Rosen, MS, CPT

Shani Taub, CDC

MY TABLE

P

Most snack foods marketed for kids tend to be loaded with fat and sugar, but by reading food labels before bringing potential snacks home, we can help our kids make smart snacking decisions. What we buy and have in the house influences how well our kids will snack.

The first step is for us to eat and snack healthy. If we go through our entire day without stopping to nourish our body with food or reach for a candy bar instead of fruit, our kids will think it's okay to do the same.

Here are some tips that have worked for us: * When shopping, let kids help pick out fruits, vegetables, and cheeses for snacks. They will be more interested in eating these foods if they have been involved in selecting them. * Set aside a "snack spot" in the refrigerator and cupboard; keep it stocked with nutritious ready-to-eat snacks. Make healthy food quick and easy to grab. * Offer snacks at regular times, such as midmorning and midafternoon. Don't let children nibble constantly during the day. * Avoid sugary and fatty snacks, such as candy and soda. * Limit snack portions to a reasonable size so they don’t interfere with meals.

Good snack options are rice cakes, soy chips, apple chips, popcorn, nuts (allergies permitting), and string cheese.

Heart.works

Have Soup, Will Travel.

Super-simple to pack and prep, Knorr Instant Soup Packets are flavorful and authentic. Perfect for an instant tide-me-over, pick-me-up, or nutritious snack, they’ve just the right amount of pep to keep you fueled on the go, over the road, and beyond.

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RANDOM

Age: 31 Location: Brooklyn, New York

Questions

Occupation: Mortgage broker

for

Shua P.

My favorite exercise

Almonds great quick snack

Biking I bike to the subway and back every day.

One misconception I used

to have about health:

It’s not a man’s thing.

One interesting thing I’ve learned about health: How much energy we get from eating less, not more (but the right foods)

Healthy supper in a pinch:

One food I avoid at all costs

Energy drinks (like XL) Not usually my domain, but I can always grill a cutlet when needed.

Favorite health tip

Do 30 minutes of physical activity almost every day.

To answer these questions for an upcoming issue, please write to info@wellspringmagazine.com, subject title “Random.”

My favorite health food:

Family: 3 kids