Wellspring Issue #103 by The Wellspring

SEPTEMBER 2024 // ELUL 5784 // ISSUE 103

Back-toBasics

Your Eyes and the Outdoors

Breakfast Bites

HEALTH NEWS you don't want to miss

Tame the Overwhelm Seasonal Stumpers

Improve Your Focus

Fit To Be Tied

Too Much to Carry

Kitchen Cures

"He wasn't gaining and we didn't know why."

Pregnancy Loss

Don’t Be Held Hostage By Guilt

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COPY & RESEARCH

Editor In Chief Tziri Hershkovitz Deputy Editor Libby Silberman Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Bashy Halberstam, INHC Shaindy Oberlander, INHC Shira Savit, MA, MHC, CHC Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC

Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN

Food Editor Aviva Emek Recipes Yossi & Malky Levine Styling & Photography Malky Levine ART & PRODUCTION Cover Design Aryeh Epstein Designer Rivky Schwartz Digital Media Rivkah Shanowitz ADVERTISING

Content Contributors Rabbi Yehoshua Belsky LMSW Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS Rabbi Y.Y. Rubinstein Baruch Niebloom Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC Esther Fried, PFC

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The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.

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CONTENTS

40 SE P TE M BE R 2 0 2 4 / E LU L 57 8 4 / I SSUE 1 0 3

Cover Feature

Second Opinion

60 Seasonal Stumpers

Community

Well Answered

Marital Health

40 Fitness

WELL INFORMED

Ask the Nutritionist

Cup of Tea

Springboard

Medical Saga

Spiritual Eating

Intuitive Eating

Torah Wellspring

Gut Reaction

Health Updates

WELLBEING

LIVING WELL

60 SEASONED

Hakol Beseder

64 66

Let's Grow

Wallet Wellness

Mind and You

FAREWELL 98

Holistic

Farewell

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WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

EDITOR'S NOTE

uch of what we do is so ingrained that we fail to see the inanity of the habit. Take gift wrapping, for instance. This two-thousand-yearold practice (yes, it’s really that old) is presently setting Americans back almost seven billion dollars annually. Yet, this form of gift giving apparently has some merit, or we wouldn’t be wasting so much time and money ensconcing our valuable gift in markedly cheaper paper. There’s a subtle psychology at play when we are presented with a wrapped gift. We immediately recognize that beyond the item itself, thought has gone into the presentation. The statement is clear: “This is a gift. This isn’t merely something I picked up. I took the time to think about what you’d need and I prepared it for you with care.” Even without any indication of what is inside, the wrapped box is exciting, in part, precisely because we don’t know what we will find. There’s the guessing and anticipation, but ultimately, there’s the certainty that it is something we will like. Of course, it’s somewhat dependent on the giver, but since it’s a gift, we take it on faith that it’s bound to be something good. As the new year approaches, we increase our davening, but the more we daven, the more we realize how much is unknown about the year ahead—and that we don’t know what we should be davening for.

WELL-PUT

The parallel struck me. A new year is starting and we are beseeching Hashem to make it a good one. The older we get and the more years that pass, the more clearly we know that we truly don’t know. Life has starkly shown us that we can never take the “ordinary” days for granted.

Of course, we need to remember that all of life is good—a gift, to be appreciated and embraced. But it isn’t a lack of appreciation that has us concerned for the future; it is human nature to wish we could more clearly see whether our prayers are being effective. A small part of us naturally wonders why the outcome needs to be concealed from our view. The question isn’t new, but I’ll posit that with the right perspective, the fact that our tomorrows are still shrouded in mystery makes our “present” so much greater. The gift of the unknown is indeed twofold, which reminds us of the popular pun that “our present is the present.” Irrespective of which definition you assign to which present, the statement remains true. It is to our advantage that our present, the current moment, isn’t overshadowed by all that tomorrow holds. We get to embrace the here and now, precisely because we can’t yet worry about what’s to come. But even the wrapped present that is our future is infinitely sweeter because of the “wrapping paper.” We already know the Giver, and so we know with absolute certainty that whatever He gives us is good. The obscurity, then, is clearly for our benefit as well. There is an extra dose of time, attention, and Divine compassion in the way our future is presented to us. Hakadosh Baruch Hu knows that wrapping paper enhances the joy of receiving a gift because it ups the anticipation. It also protects us from that for which we are not yet ready. It is that Omnipotent insight into the human condition that has Him concealing what is still to come. Seven billion dollars is an absolutely exorbitant sum, but if the money spent helps us better understand even an iota of our Heavenly Father’s love for us, it might yet be a price worth paying. Wishing you all a kesivah ve’chasimah tovah and gut gebentchte yahr!

tz i v o k h s r e H i r i z T tziri@wellspringmagazine.com

“Leave things open to Hashem. He has far more creativity and goodness than any human can imagine.”

- Chavy Fruchter, Cup of Tea

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5784

SPRINGBOARD

On Forgiveness, Priorities, Healing, and more…

Help with Healing Issue #102: Let It Go

Over the past few months, reading Wellspring has become an entirely new experience. I so much appreciate the new subjects being explored. Your recent “Let It Go” feature on the topic of forgiveness was special. Tziri Hershkovitz bravely discussed a hot topic in an open, honest, and straightforward way. I’m sure every person can take heed of her descriptive and insightful words and apply them to life in a very practical way. The examples she brought were real stories from the trenches, without trying to whitewash it at all. The lesson she mentioned about forgiveness through bitachon is a tremendous one. This is the ultimate way to live, forgive, and forget.

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

In my line of work as a Creative Journal Expressive Arts instructor and emotional wellness coach, I have seen that there are lots of very effective, not-that-difficult backend techniques that can bring a person to a healthy point of forgiveness. These healing steps are important to take so as not to push or force forgiveness; rather, to see it come forth naturally. Pushing or promoting forgiveness without healing first can backfire and build tremendous resentment, which can be hard to clean up later on. Connecting with our inner parts is one of the greatest aspects of healing. Once we give our inner parts a voice, credence, and some long-overdue nurturance, the parts within us then healthfully yearn for love and peace, forgiveness and wellbeing. It’s important that an individual seeking to forgive takes the appropriate healing steps first.

This way, the person feels connected to Hashem as they go ahead and let their grievances slide away. The forgiving experience is then a wholesome, inner-body, genuine one. Thank you Wellspring for addressing this important topic in such a courageous and accurate manner. I look forward to more of Tziri’s articles in the future.

In the article, Rochel Leah explains what happens when she’s touching a part of someone’s body—that was exactly what happened when she had held my left calf and tears just started pouring out, letting go of all the stress I’d held there. I will forever be grateful to her for that! Thank you for bringing her work to light.

Pnina Schoss, CJEAI Emotional Wellness Coach

Parting with Pain

R.F., Monsey, New York

Prioritizing My People Issue #102: Marital Health

Issue #102: Cup of Tea with Rochel Leah

Reading the article on Rochel Leah Ismaili took me back in time. A few years ago, I needed desperate healing and didn’t know where to turn. A friend recommended Rochel Leah.

Wellspring has changed and I’m here for it! I love all your new columns and different perspectives on health. I found myself lost in thought after reading your latest issue. So much to mull over. So much I want to do! Your column on marital health was also thought-provoking.

SPRINGBOARD

Quick Question Question:

Is there any way to get rid of a UTI without taking medication? My doctor usually prescribes Bactrim, but I find I get even more sick from the medication. My symptoms include a burning sensation and persistent feeling of needing to urinate.

Answer:

For an immediate solution, use staphysagria and cantharis. These are homeopathic remedies that provide almost instant relief. Drink lots of pure water and don’t drink any juices or eat citrus or spicy foods. Additionally, taking vitamin C and probiotics have been shown to help. Miriam Schweid, Health Consultant

I like a lot of what Leah Richeimer was saying, and she makes some good points. I hope to better recognize the value of my family members—not only when they ask for my attention. When I find a free hour in my day, I hope to remember that my workload won’t care nearly as much as my kids or my husband. I need to shift my priorities and I’m grateful to Wellspring for reminding me of that. Avivah Weinberg, Lakewood, New Jersey

An Effective Perspective Issue #102: Let It Go

appreciate how it is filled with so much inspiration and hope. Last issue’s cover feature, “Let It Go,” particularly stood out for me. While I knew about the importance and benefits of forgiveness, I had trouble actually forgiving the people who’ve hurt me in the past. Tziri Hershkovitz writes, “If everything in this life is here for a reason, perhaps some people exist solely to help us grow.” That line has truly helped me change my perspective. The people I had thought hurt me didn’t actually do that—they were Divinely placed into my life to teach me many valuable lessons. The shift in perspective hasn’t immediately freed me of all the hard feelings, but it has made it easier to start letting go of the pain. Thank you again for the amazing work.

Thank you for creating an amazing magazine. It is evident that much thought and hard work go into it. I

Miriam K., Brooklyn, New York

Get in touch! Wellspring invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@wellspringmagazine.com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

ARY E

HER SHKOWI T Z

P R OD UC T I ON:

It’s a family on the verge of a crisis. Kalman, an energetic young man, is in sudden need of treatment for severe eye pain. His young innocent Zalman survived a stormy camp activity with a fracture in his eyeglasses. The outlook is grim. Will they pay the price? WELLSPRING / ELUL 5784

SPIRITUAL EATING By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

Inscribe Us for a Good Life We say in our Rosh Hashanah tefillos, “U’kesov le’chaim tovim— And inscribe [us] for a good life.”

As we all know, a good life starts with good health, and good health starts with good eating—for proper nutrition is the fuel that gives our body its energy, vitality, and the wellbeing to learn Torah and do mitzvos. We beseech Hashem with all our heart to judge us favorably this year and give us life, a livelihood, and peace of mind. “Who will live and who will die…who will live in harmony and who will be harried…who will be impoverished and who will be enriched…” We say these words, but what is our part? Can we honestly ask Hashem to value us if we don’t value the body He gave us to function in this world? Are we going to return home after a long day of davening only to lose ourselves in the meal awaiting us? We have such a wonderful and immediate opportunity to back up our words of prayer through deeds of action by enjoying the special Yom Tov foods while still eating appropriate amounts that leave us healthy and feeling invigorated, not bloated and fatigued.

How many of us have risen to such elevated spiritual heights in our davening only to fress our way to a freefall of indulgence minutes later? It doesn’t have to be that way this year. We can ask for a good life from Hashem in shul and show we mean it through our actions at the dining room table at home. But it won’t just happen automatically. Like with any worthwhile achievement, it requires preparation—of both the physical and mental varieties. And the month of Elul is the perfect opportunity for said preparation. Just as we work on improving our middos so we can enter the period of judgment on the best possible terms, so too, we need to work on improving our daily relationship with food. This way, when we come home from an intense morning of Rosh Hashanah davening, we won’t be left with the same overstuffed stomach and a handful of empty promises following the seudah. This year, let the actions of our mouths complement the tefillos we uttered.

Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS, is the founder and director of Soveya and the author of the best-selling book Enough Is Enough—How the Soveya Solution Is Revolutionizing the Diet and Weight-Loss World, available on Amazon and at Barnes & Nobles and Judaica Plaza in Lakewood. He has worked with thousands of clients around the world and has maintained a 130-pound weight loss for the last 19 years. For more information about Soveya’s programs call 732-578-8800, email info@soveya.com, or visit www.soveya.com.

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

CHAPTER 1:

► AT THE OPTOMETRIST ◄ The plot thickens. A tall, muscular man enters the room and looks the suspenseful pair squarely in their eyes. Suddenly, with his friendly smile, the doctor, a top rated professional in his ﬁeld, dramatically slashes the tension into fragments. Leaving behind a friendly, playful atmosphere.

TORAH WELLSPRING By Rabbi YY Rubinstein

STRAIGHT TO YOUR HEART AND INTO YOUR SOUL Sometimes you hear something and it goes straight to your heart and into your soul. Recently I heard a story from a rav, and that’s exactly what happened to me. He told a true story about a Yid who lived in Eretz Yisrael and had enjoyed a successful business life. In the course of his job, he had been able to help thousands of Yidden. Now his financial position had left him able to retire comfortably. His plan was to learn in kollel and for him and his wife to enjoy their children and grandchildren. The Yid went to get a berachah from an ish gadol, who listened attentively as he outlined his plans. The gadol sat carefully assessing the man, who was waiting for a blessing. He asked, “Why exactly do you want to retire?” The Yid explained that he felt he had dedicated decades to the klal and had done enough. Now it was time to focus on himself and his family. The gadol was silent, and his visitor wondered what was going through his mind. Then the gadol spoke. “You know, of course, that the Torah and Yiddishkeit place special emphasis on the right side over the left. We find this concept in countless 22

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

halachos, as in the very first laws of the Shulchan Aruch, which deals with dressing in the morning. The right part of a garment is always put on before the left. The idea of the priority of the right appears throughout the Gemara, Midrashim, and Zohar.” The Yid nodded; he was familiar with that fact. Then the gadol asked him a question: “Which side of your chest does your heart reside in?” The Yid replied that the heart is situated toward the left side. “Isn’t that a little strange?” queried the gadol. “In every other sphere, the right is favored, but when it comes to the heart, the most essential of organs, it rests on the left.” The Yid admitted that he had never thought about it and had no idea why it was so. The gadol explained, “The heart only appears in the correct place, the right place, when another Yid is standing in front of you. It’s when someone has come to you for help, whether for tzedakah, advice, or comfort, that he sees your heart and you see his, resting on the right. If you are not

engaging with and helping someone else, a Yiddishe heart isn’t where it should be.” The gadol explained that he could not give a berachah that would leave his heart “be’yad smol.” He told him that no Jew can choose to retire from helping Klal Yisrael; we can never feel that we have “done enough.” The gadol’s message went straight to this man’s heart and into his soul. He abandoned his retirement plan and instead embarked on several new projects that outshone all his previous achievements. They included opening a yeshiva, two kollelim, and a gemach for poor people. A friend of mine recently pointed out that the word “am” (people) in lashon hakodesh and the word “im” (with) are spelled the same way: ayin-mem. The very essence of the peoplehood of Klal Yisrael is when we’re with other Yidden—together and as one. We declare this in the Shemoneh Esrei every Shabbos afternoon: “Atah echad ve’shimcha echad umi k’amcha Yisrael goy echad va’aretz—You are One and Your Name is One and who is like Your people Yisrael…One people in the land?”

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► A PRICELESS SERVICE ◄ Smiling broadly, father and son calmly stroll out of the doctor’s oﬃce. Kalman with his prescription in hand, Zalman with his new eyeglasses proudly perched on his nose. The super friendly service was above and beyond their expectations. And the price? Absolutely nothing! Fully covered by insurance. WELLSPRING / ELUL 5784

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Of course, as we say about Hashem Yisbarach in Yigdal, “Ein lo demus haguf, ve’einu guf—Hashem has no body, but as it says in Sefer Tomer Devorah (1:4), Hashem sometimes talks about Himself using imagery as though He does have a body. This is so we can know how He wants us to relate to Him. He calls us His “wife,” His “daughter,” His “sister,” His “son,” and more. Of course, as we approach Rosh Hashanah, the name He wants us to use and the image He wants us to picture is “Avinu Malkeinu,” our Father and our King, but it’s the word “Father” that comes first. Obviously, the ultimate time when we know our heart is in the right place is when we stand before Him on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. That is particularly so when we have not stood before him for a very long time. Yet, the ultimate time in which two hearts are on the right side and beat as one is when a father and his son or daughter are standing face to face and seeing each other after a long absence. That’s exactly where He wants us to be on these holy days, even if it’s been an entire year since we came home to visit Him. That kind of coming home has a special name in lashon hakodesh: teshuvah. And the Father who wants every single one of His children to make the journey home wants it so badly that He’ll even make the first move. Reb Nosson Meir Wachtfogel zt”l of Lakewood makes this abundantly clear when he quotes Pesikta De’Rav Kehana: “Hakadosh Baruch Hu says to Yisrael, ‘You are embarrassed or ashamed to return to me? Then I will return to you first!’” *** The fundamental nature of teshuvah is closeness between Hashem and His children. Hashem wants to be close to Yisrael, and that is what teshuvah means.” A number of years ago, I received a call from a rav in London. He was making a film to be shown during Elul.

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

The film would tell a well-known and true story about a bachur who met an old Yid sitting on a bench in a London park near a famous shul. The young man and the elderly Yid fell into conversation. It was only a few days until Yom Kippur, and the bachur asked where the old man would be davening on Yom Kippur. The old Jew glared at the younger one and told him he wouldn’t be davening in any shul. He recalled that he had survived Auschwitz, but his only child, his son, hadn’t. He was angry with Hashem for taking his son from him.

rose and walked to the front of the bimah and turned around to look up at the chazan. The chazan looked down at him and his voice faltered, broke, and then fell silent. The old man who had believed his son dead and the chazan who thought he had lost his father in Auschwitz stood staring at each other.

Yom Kippur arrived and there was a hefsek before Minchah. The bachur walked once more into the park and saw the old man sitting on the same bench as before. He sat down and tried to persuade him to come with him at least for the last part of Yom Kippur. The old man stubbornly refused. The bachur then had an idea. In their previous conversation, the old man had mentioned that he loved music.

The answer I gave, which appeared in the film, was that I would have suggested the old man come into the shul on Yom Kippur “to see if you can bring yourself to forgive Hashem.”

The bachur explained that the shul had hired a chazan that year who had the voice of an angel. “Why not come and listen to him for a few minutes,” he suggested. “You’ll really regret it if you don’t hear him.” The old Yid agreed to go with the bachur, “Just for a few minutes and just to listen to the chazan with the special voice.” The pair sat at the back. The talented chazan wore a beautiful silver-adorned tallis over his head and began to sing. The old man’s eyes opened with wonder at the voice, and the bachur smiled at seeing his prediction fulfilled. Moved, tears started to pour down the old man’s cheeks and he slowly

The rav making the film posed the question he'd asked other rabbanim as well, "What would you have said to convince the old man to enter the shul?"

The father of one of my oldest friends was the “house bachur” of the Divrei Yoel of Satmar zy”a. He too had been in Auschwitz, but after experiencing the horrors he abandoned Yiddishkeit. Many years later, he went to see his former Rebbe and explained that he no longer kept Torah and mitzvos. He expressed his anger at Shamayim. The Divrei Yoel didn’t say any words; he simply sat with his old chassid and the pair cried together for an hour. Those tears shed together brought him back to Yiddishkeit. Sometimes we are embarrassed or ashamed to “come to shul” on Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur. Sometimes we are angry at Shamayim for things that have occurred during the year. Avinu sheba'Shamayim already knows our embarrassment and our pain. On Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, our Father wants His sons and daughters to come to see Him… so we can cry together.

UK born, Rabbi YY Rubinstein learned in the famous Gateshead Yeshiva for ten years where he received semicha. He is an international speaker and the author of fourteen books. His latest, "Never Alone,” for teens and young adults who've lost a parent, arrived in bookstores this year.

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The enteric nervous system that regulates our gut is often called the body’s “second brain.” Although it can’t compose poetry or solve equations, this extensive network uses the same chemicals and cells as the brain to help us digest and to alert the brain when something is amiss. Gut and brain are in constant communication.

the trillions of bacteria in the gut (the gut microbiome) interact with the enteric nervous system (a component of the autonomic nervous system) and ultimately, with the central nervous system. Increasing evidence shows that bacteria in the gut—and their by-products—affect mood, cognition, and behavior. With the brain and gut so intertwined, it makes sense for clinicians treating gastrointestinal disorders to include cognitive approaches such as talk therapy, hypnosis, or relaxation response in their recommendations— and for clinicians treating cognitive symptoms to also consider what’s happening in the patient’s gut.

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Researchers from China studied 25 volunteers classed as obese over a period of 62 days, during which they took part in an intermittent energy restriction (IER) program—a regimen that involves careful control of calorie intake and relative fasting on some days. Not only did the participants in the study lose weight—7.6 kilograms (16.8 pounds) or 7.8 percent of their body weight on average—there was also evidence of shifts in the activity of crucial regions of the brain, and in the make-up of gut bacteria. “The observed changes in the gut microbiome and in the activity in addiction-related brain regions during and after weight loss are highly dynamic and coupled over time.” It’s not clear what causes these changes, or whether the gut is influencing the brain or vice versa. However, we do know that the gut and the brain are closely linked. For example, the bacteria Coprococcus comes and Eubacterium hallii were negatively affected with activity in the left inferior frontal orbital gyrus, an area involved in executive function, including our willpower when it comes to food intake. It’s crucial to be cautious about how we treat our gut, as it affects the brain so directly.

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“There is immense crosstalk between these two large nerve centers,” says Braden Kuo, MD, co-executive director of the Center for Neurointestinal Health at Massachusetts General Hospital. “This crosstalk affects how we feel and perceive gastrointestinal symptoms and impacts our quality of life.” Messages travel from gut to brain, too. This helps explain why, when we eat something that makes us sick, we instinctively avoid the food and even the place we found it. Center researchers are also investigating how

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Scientists looking to tackle our ongoing obesity crisis have made an important discovery: Intermittent calorie restriction leads to significant changes both in the gut and the brain.

A super supplement has been shown to boost memory and muscle health in old age. Researchers say the findings open up a “promising avenue”

for treating Alzheimer’s disease. Beta-hydroxy beta-methyl butyrate, also called HMB, is not a prescription drug or a steroid, but an over-thecounter supplement that is available in sports and fitness stores. Bodybuilders regularly use HMB to increase exercise-induced gains in muscle size and strength while improving exercise performance. HMB is considered safe even after longterm use, with no known side effects. For example, in a 12-week randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled study, published in the Journal of Nutrition, Health and Aging, researchers evaluated the benefits of HMB supplementation on older adults with sarcopenia, a medical condition characterized by extreme muscle loss. The study found HMB significantly enhanced the effect of resistance training on muscle strength, physical performance, and muscle quality. It also reduced inflammatory markers. Researchers are now exploring its potential to boost cognitive performance. “This may be one of the safest and the easiest approaches to halt disease progression and protect memory in Alzheimer’s disease patients,” Professor Pahan Pahan, Professor of Neurology at RUSH Medical College study added.

More Outdoor Time!

vention for nearsightedness,” says Dr. Noha Ekdawi, a pediatric ophthalmologist in Wheaton, Illinois.

brella shape, but it is also incredibly toxic, so much so that it can actually change your DNA.

And that’s important, because the number of kids with nearsightedness—or myopia—has been growing rapidly in the US, and in many other parts of the world. It’s a trend Ekdawi has seen among her own young patients. When she started practicing 15 years ago, one or two of the children she saw had myopia. But these days, she says, “About fifty percent of my patients have myopia, which is an incredibly high number.” Ekdawi calls the increase astronomical. So how can spending time outside help?

The invasive plant, which can grow to up to 20 feet tall, has a sap containing a substance that binds to the DNA in skin cells. When it is exposed to ultraviolet light, it causes redness, itchiness, and also destroys the DNA, leading to severe burns and painful blisters. Worst of all, even after any skin irritation clears up, the affected area could be scarred and/or remain hypersensitive to the sun for years. Meanwhile, if the sap gets in a person’s eye, they could suffer temporary vision loss and possibly permanent blindness.

That’s what Ian Morgan wanted to find out. Morgan is a myopia researcher at the Australian National University. A couple of decades ago, he noticed that the rates of myopia in East Asia were much higher than they were in Sydney. “Australians are famous for their outdoor-oriented lifestyle,” he thought. “Maybe there’s a link between getting outside a lot and preventing the development of myopia.” Morgan said of his findings, published in 2008, that “children who reported spending more time outdoors were less likely to be myopic and, we showed later on, less likely to become myopic.” Other studies have found that outdoor time can reduce the chances that kids will develop myopia even if they’re doing lots of near work, such as reading or looking at screens—something that has also risen dramatically in recent years. Outdoor time also helps even if kids have parents who have myopia. “To me, it’s like, eat your vegetables. You have to spend time outside,” Ekdawi says.

Dangers of Hogweed

Spending at least two hours outside each day is one of the most important things your kids can do to protect their eyesight. “We think that outdoor time is the best form of pre-

Everything about flowers seems to beckon you to get closer to them. They are beautiful, boasting amazing colors and designs, and of course, they have pleasant aromas as well. But just because they look nice, it doesn’t mean you should touch them—especially one plant that might be in your backyard right now. It’s called the giant hogweed and it features white flowers that group together in an um-

The plant is so dangerous that authorities are asking people to report it if they find it. Thankfully, it is pretty easy to spot. It can be very tall with a stem covered in purple splotches and coarse white hairs. It is found everywhere, from yards to parks to roadsides to forests, and is most common in states like New York, Washington, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Vermont, and Oregon, but it’s been seen elsewhere as well. However, it is most prevalent in New York since, up until the early 1900s, it was sold at garden centers as a decorative plant for outside the home. In fact, to raise awareness so people don’t suffer from the consequences of touching giant hogweed, the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation put out a poster to help identify the plant. If you find giant hogweed in your yard, it is best to call local officials to deal with it since it is recommended you do not remove it yourself.

COVER FEATURE

YOU WERE WRONG AND NOW THAT’S ALL RIGHT

Don’t Be Held Hostage By Guilt

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

By Tziri Hershkovitz

he somberness in the air is almost palpable as we bid farewell to the past year and approach the Yamim Tovim with trepidation. The heaviness seems appropriate; a fitting precursor for cheshbon hanefesh, teshuvah, and all other means of reviewing and rectifying for the past year. It feels almost virtuous, but is it? There’s something not quite right about being at the highest point of the year and just feeling guilt. Where is the joy? The simchas Yom Tov? In Yiddishkeit, there are specific times designated for highs and lows, and Rosh Hashanah is absolutely a “high.” At this time of year, when we all want to do the right thing—the positive thing—we need to recognize that very telling correlation. Whenever we’re faced with a choice between right or wrong, positive or negative, the answer is obvious. If we want to do right, we need to focus on the times we’ve done right. Focusing on the negative is wrong. There’s a beautiful story told about the Chofetz Chaim and his form of cheshbon hanefesh. One day, as he went to his private chambers for his daily hisbodedus, a talmid listened in. Ear pressed to the door, he heard the tzaddik recounting his accomplishments: “I have dedicated my life to Your children. I have taught them the importance and power of speech. I have written over twenty sefarim, inspired soldiers in the Russian army, and opened a large yeshiva where kol Torah is loudly heard night and day.” The talmid listened aghast to this odd form of cheshbon hanefesh, when he suddenly heard the Chofetz Chaim’s sobs. “What have I done to deserve such chessed from You, Ribbono shel Olam? How will I ever repay your kindness?” Overflowing with thankfulness to the One on High, the Chofetz Chaim continued with his day. If we’re looking for recrimination, regret, or guilt, we won’t find it here. The Chofetz Chaim was acutely aware of something we all need to remember: if we truly want the motivation to do good, we need to recognize that we are capable of doing good.

Guilt and Our Gut

As we prepare for a new year and get ready to ask our Creator for another year of life and health, we

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5784

COVER FEATURE

need to do our part to ensure we’re conduits of good health.

concentration on tasks, and overall outlook on life.

A quick review over our past behavior is likely necessary to determine our future course of action, but we’d do well to remember that guilt over our failings won’t help us. In fact, guilt can negatively impact our wellbeing in countless ways. Physically, guilt can cause digestion issues, muscle tension, headaches, and back pain. Over time, the stress of guilt can even contribute to cardiovascular diseases and immune disorders.

Yet unlike most stress-inducing emotions, guilt seems virtuous and therefore has staunch supporters. They’re wrong.

Socially and emotionally, guilt can contribute to and exacerbate mental issues like anxiety, depression, and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). As with any negative emotion, guilt can also negatively impact our sleeping patterns, moods, relationships, 30

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What You Get with Regret

As I researched this article, discussing guilt and the ugly side effects, I kept bumping up against the same question: “Why argue against guilt— especially in Elul. Isn’t charatah a key component of teshuvah?” Indeed it is. But too often we conflate charatah, regret, and its sidekick, guilt. Regret is wishing one had acted differently. In every situation in life, be it a school choice, a shopping trip, or even in matters of halachah,

there might be the sentiment of “Why didn’t I do something else?” Regret can be intense, but it seldom is crippling. It is only when regret is combined with guilt that it becomes emotionally debilitating. “When I saw how my children were struggling socially in the school we chose,” Chana says, “I deeply regretted the move. We had weighed all the cons and had knowingly placed them in a setting we knew was hashkafically not our own, but we were so sure they would adapt.” When they didn’t, Chana nearly succumbed to guilt. “The guilt was threatening to consume me, until I realized I had it all wrong. Hashem had chosen the situation for my children because it was meant for them. Even if I had acted differently, this

challenge would have presented itself because they were meant to go through it.” Understanding that fundamental truth didn’t entirely prevent the unbidden thoughts of regret when her children subsequently struggled in shidduchim. “But,” she says, “there is no guilt. I know with utmost certainty that I did nothing wrong.” Regret isn’t pleasant, but it can serve a positive purpose—particularly when it determines our future course of action and urges us toward smarter choices. “I regretted not picking up that adorable pair of heels,” Shana says. “They were actually comfortable, which is rare for me.” After kicking herself for three days—all regret, but no guilt—Shana made the trek back to the store. “The sale was over (more regret) but I finally got my shoes.” This scenario clearly delineates between regret and guilt because of the absence of weighty emotional or ethical factors.

Life and Death

With medical decisions, because of the sense that life is on the line, the feeling of regret can easily morph into the painful vise of guilt. “We didn’t go for a second opinion, and we started treatment immediately. We later learned about another approach through which others had seen amazing results,” Rivky says. “Sadly, our outcome wasn’t good. For a long time, I blamed myself for not researching this further. On some level, I still do.” When a person goes down that road, the self-recrimination can be devastating. Guilt is not mere regret. It is the conviction that because of our choices we have created the current situation. Especially when another person’s life was irrevocably damaged, the emotional toll can be difficult to endure. During the COVID pandemic, so much was unknown. When Reb Shlo-

mo’s rav was struggling with low oxygen levels, his gabbaim were at a loss. “They reached out to me for guidance,” Reb Shlomo says, “and I was wholly unprepared. I am no medical expert, but after years in a related field I’d picked up a lot of knowledge. Still nothing could have prepared me for COVID. So when the situation seemed dire and the oxygen tanks at home were no longer adequate, I advised the family to have the rav hospitalized.” In the hospital, the rav was placed on a respirator and tragically didn’t survive the week. Reb Shlomo was wracked with guilt. “First came the panic attacks and then the debilitating depression. I’m typically a motivated and upbeat individual, but I found it difficult to get through the day. As irrational as the thoughts were, I blamed myself for my rav’s death, and no one and nothing could disabuse me of that belief. It is one thing to think that you believe in Hashem; it is quite another to hold onto that belief while simultaneously thinking you might be the reason for someone’s death. It took many, many weeks of relearning Shaar Habitachon to get out of my guilt-induced depression.” Emunah, the steadfast faith that life—and all her components—are predestined from Above, is the obvious antidote. It always is. But even those with perfect faith can still have the very human tendency of thinking it is their choices that brought about the results. In all matters of emotional health, we find emunah and bitachon play a key role. But bitachon can’t just be dragged out as a band-aid in times of extreme pain. It requires cultivation and practice so that when called upon, it can serve us in the way Hashem intended.

Timely Teshuvah

Back to the subject at hand: teshuvah. According to the Rambam, the

very first step is “yisnachem al she’avar—regret over what has transpired.” Regret is that unpleasant feeling that is likely to prompt change. Genuine regret will remind us to steer clear of the temptation to repeat the mistake, but it should not drag us down. The Rambam’s approach follows the regret with two more steps: the requisite confession, as well as the commitment to leave the sin and not do it again. Look carefully at the list and you’ll note that guilt plays no role in the teshuvah process. “The first time I fell asleep before Krias Shema al Hamitah,” Esther says, “I was mortified. I knew why it happened; I’d had an exhausting day and I fell asleep unprepared. Still, I couldn’t believe what I’d done. The second time I didn’t recite Shema— that same week—I felt so awful; I was literally ashamed to look at myself in the mirror the following morning. “Instead of looking for a solution, my guilt demanded I rationalize my behavior. And so, unsurprisingly, it started happening more frequently. The worse I felt, the more excuses I came up with.” Human nature is that we tend to be dragged down by guilt. This is partly why a genuine baal teshuvah is so praiseworthy. Even if they regret it, it is easier for one who has already committed a forbidden act to return to it because it is familiar and much easier to repeat. The guilt-induced part thinks, “Whom am I kidding? I’m already a sinner. I’m a failure, a loser, and there is no undoing what’s done.” Ironically, the guilt might just encourage the negative behavior. When Kalman, as a teenager, got hold of his first unfiltered phone, he quickly found out why the rabbanim had insisted on kosher phones with no internet. One week in and he was wracked with guilt—but couldn’t stop. He wholeheartedly regretted his behavior, but it was the feelings of guilt that had him returning to the scene of the crime.

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COVER FEATURE

When you get a flat tire on your car… you don’t slash the other three.

“I already considered myself a sinner, a goner. I hated what I had done and therefore hated myself for having done it. I didn’t see a way out because the guilt wouldn’t let me.” This mindset, the living in the past, is guilt’s life force. True teshuvah demands forgiving yourself and moving—or rather “returning”—to Hashem, to the real you. That’s actual teshuvah.

Speaking to the Satan

Rebbe Nachman Biderman shlita explains that our emunah is put to greater test when it comes to matters of ruchniyus. In matters of gashmiyus— whether mistakes in business, problems at home, or even medical situations—we are used to reminding ourselves that we ought not get lost, but when we do something against halachah, we typically view it as a personal, inexcusable failing. We forget that the mistake in ruchniyus was also bashert. We know that each day the world is created anew, as we say in Shacharis, “Ha’mechadesh be’tuvo be’chol yom tamid maaseh bereishis.” The Tomer Devorah (perek 1) goes even further and says that this world is recreated at every single moment. This means that whatever position you are in, Hashem has recreated the world right now with you in your current state—and that is exactly where He wants you to be. He expects you to overcome your current challenges and do the best you can with your present reality. The Baal Shem Tov advises us how to reply to the Satan when he comes at us with reminders of our past mistake: “Hashem prefers my simchah (joy) to my atzvus (depression).” So while the yetzer hara is taunting us with our mistakes and reminding us of how terribly we failed, we can tell him, “You’re right, I messed up. But even though I’ve already committed the aveirah, Hashem will have a greater nachas ruach if I don’t become depressed about the sin, and I instead serve Him with joy. “I will not exacerbate the mistake by allowing it to get me down.”

Chance or Choice

Released after a lengthy prison stay for a white-collar crime, Yonatan’s personal life wasn’t rosy. He asked his rav, “If my own actions are responsible for this mess I currently find myself in, but at the same time everything is bashert, which part do I do teshuvah for? At what point can I simply say, ‘Well, Hashem, this is apparently what You 32

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

Type A…and Others Certain personality types are more prone to feeling guilty. Some people have expectations of perfection while others harbor a belief that it is their responsibility to take care of others. Although such personality traits might make a person be perceived as strong and capable, they can also cause them to feel crippled by bouts of guilt. On the flip side, there are the excessively devoted and caring types who believe their purpose is to be of service to others, so their inability to do so might have them feeling guilty and, by extension, worthless. The varying underlying causes of the guilt will naturally demand different mindsets. The perfectionist will need to accept that by virtue of being human, mistakes are inevitable. Only Hashem is perfect. As for those who live their lives in service of others, they’d most benefit from the recognition that the same Ribbono shel Olam Who gave them this temperament and placed them in this position, to serve His world, also wanted this to happen. We are but a cog in His intricate wheel, and ultimately, Hashem makes the world turn according to His will. “Bashert,” “meant to be,” “predestined.” These are words we’d all do well to understand, internalize, and live by.

Mommy Guilt All healthy mothers want the best for their children—and invariably feel like they ought to do more. “Mommy guilt,” as it’s been dubbed, is that sentiment mothers may experience when they feel like they’re not meeting expectations, whether their own or those of others. Working mothers might feel like they aren’t spending enough time with their children. Some mothers might feel guilty for not serving their children the healthiest snacks and meals. All healthy mothers will at times regret some of their interactions with their kids, like not handling every situation—and meltdown—with the patience they wish they had. And some mothers might feel guilty for needing self-care or for spending time away from their children All that said, mommy guilt is predominantly a social phenomenon. It is caused by falling for unrealistic societal expectations that are an impossibly high standard to live up to—and one that no one does, or can. As discussed earlier, regret is fine so long as it propels us toward better behavior. Guilt, though, is debilitating and ego crushing. The solution, therefore, is positive affirmation. Whether you start or end your day with these reminders, tell yourself, “I’m a patient mother,” “I’m a devoted mother,” “I’m a good mother.” Even if not yet fully true, with the frequent repetitions, it will, be’ezras Hashem, be true soon enough.

WELLSPRING / AV 5784

NE W!

COVER FEATURE

wanted. After all, whatever happens is because You made it so’?” The answer he received was as simple as it was profound. “You had bechirah in the past, and for that you do teshuvah, and then you leave it be. As for what you do now with your current messy situation? You have bechirah right now too. Because although your behavior might have played a part in bringing you to this spot, your being here right now is precisely where Hashem wants you. So, sure, regret the mistake and move on, but don’t dwell on the past. Your life starts now. Your bechirah is at this moment only.”

Falling Down

When someone trips while running up a flight of stairs, if they are sane, you won’t see them throwing themselves down the rest of the stairs. They recognize the fall was a mistake and keep climbing. Somehow, though, when we trip up on our good intentions, we get that niggling voice in our head telling us we’ve already failed so we might as well give up now. According to the Baal Shem Tov, those depressive thoughts are the voice of our yetzer hara. “Six months after I’d quit smoking, I had one drag once—and went right out and bought a whole pack,” Chaim shares. “I figured I’d already failed anyway; I might as well make it worth it. “My wife then shared a concept she’d heard from her weight loss coach, who’d explained that when you get a flat tire on your car, you fix the flat tire—you don’t slash the other three. Why then, when we slip up, do we see ourselves as total failures, going so far as to slash the other three tires instead of just fixing the single flat one? That visual has helped me a lot.” When we miss the exit or turn down a wrong road, we don’t just keep going. We allow the GPS to recalibrate and get us back on our route to our destination.

Fresh Start

Let’s embrace the month of Elul as the opportunity to turn things around and correct our direction. If we clear the road of last year’s mistakes and misdeeds, we will, be’ezras Hashem, arrive at Rosh Hashanah in a joyous and grateful state of mind. The Chofetz Chaim’s cheshbon hanefesh reminds us that our loving Father has gifted us with the incredible ability to do so much good—and honest introspection will allow us to realize that on some level, we all already have. Focus on that good. It’s the ultimate impetus for even more good. 34

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

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SECOND OPINION

“For Hashem gives wisdom; from His Mouth comes knowledge and understanding.” (Mishlei 2:6) Hashem is the ultimate Healer. Invariably, human doctors will at times be stumped, leaving us searching for alternate answers.

Dry without Drugs My Rochel was a sweet five-year-old who behaved like all other kids her age. To an onlooker, she had no obvious issues as she prepared for Pre-1A. She was excited to be entering the new grade, but I was very apprehensive. Despite her maturity in every other area, Rochel had never completely outgrown wetting herself. Her pediatrician called it diurnal enuresis. Unlike nocturnal enuresis, which only refers to bedwetting, diurnal enuresis is the condition of wetting during the day as well. Her pediatrician prescribed Desmopressin, but one look at the side effects had me very scared. Among the common side effects listed were convulsions, breathing problems, irregular heartbeat, and headaches—and the list went a lot longer than that. Additionally, the drug is not even recommended for children under six years old. The doctor reassured me that the dosage had been adjusted for her age and size. I do trust the doctors I choose for my children, and I understood that Desmopressin was the only recommended medicinal route. I was very nervous about Rochel wetting herself in school and being embarrassed in front of her classmates, so after much

thought, I opted to go for it. But it did not help her at all. After two weeks on the drugs, I’d had enough. School was fast approaching, and I wanted my child to be healthy and happy as she started the new year. I consulted with a kinesiologist, and she suggested I change my daughter’s diet. Her first recommendation was to avoid all dairy. She explained that lactose turns to sugar, and that may weaken the bladder in some children. I was also told to stop giving her sweet drinks and only offer water. Finally, she recommended a homeopathic remedy called Better Bladder. In addition to the dietary changes, I started some exercises to strengthen her core and was advised to remind her to use the bathroom every few hours. It’s been barely more than a week, but I am already seeing a major improvement. Rochel, too, has taken note of the change and is incredibly cooperative, proudly refusing offers of dairy. Be’chasdei Hashem, my child is not on any unnecessary medication, and I’m particularly grateful that she started her school year confident and happy.

SECOND OPINION Compiled by Mimi Schweid

Always Active It started with a phone call from my son’s rebbi at yeshiva. It was quickly followed by another call from his principal. Yitzy is a clever and curious ten-year-old boy who has no patience to sit still for many hours. We’ve always admired his “active” nature and how he’s always ready for more adventure, but his rebbi and principal felt he had a short attention span. I tried explaining that when something interests Yitzy, he can easily sit for hours and pay attention without a problem, but his rebbi claimed the issue was not the curriculum; it was my son and his ADHD. I didn’t want to argue. I genuinely want what is best for my child, so I

consulted with his pediatrician. His doctor said he was very familiar with ADHD and readily recommended we put him on Ritalin. “He can certainly survive without it, but it will make his day easier,” the doctor had said. “It for sure can’t hurt.” I asked him about the side effects, and when I realized that it can hurt, I decided to wait a few weeks before starting the medical route and try natural supplements instead. I learned about a remedy called Synaptol from HelloLife, which is a combination of homeopathic remedies designed to treat ADHD and focus issues. My husband was

not too keen on our son taking a supplement without a hechsher, so I dug deeper and found an all-kosher substitute for Synaptol called Focus and Concentration, which contains similar remedies to Synaptol. We started my son on it, and when his rebbi called after two weeks, I held my breath. I needn’t have worried; there was no mention of medication. “This is a nachas call,” he said. “I see improvement in Yitzy every day. He’s stopped fidgeting, he’s paying better attention in class, and his behavior is not disrupting the class any longer. Chazak ve’ametz!” I thank Hashem for His shlichim and for the many solutions available.

Disclaimer: Always consult with a trusted licensed professional prior to discontinuing any medication.

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5784

COMMUNITY 101 In this space, we feature a health-related question or predicament submitted by a Wellspring reader. Fellow readers are invited to participate in the conversation by sharing their tried-and-true advice and suggestions. Join the community!

HYPERHIDROSIS I struggle with severe sweating on my face, also known as hyperhidrosis. Because I experience the sweating from my face and not so much on my armpits, which is generally more common, I feel very alone in this condition. I’d love to hear about other people’s experiences.

Can I just say, no, I don’t have any natural, magic treatment to offer you. But please know, I am with you in your suffering. I, too, experience excessive sweating from my feet and hands. I’ve heard that hyperhidrosis is sourced from a combination of factors, some of which include genetics, anxiety, and stress. The biggest gift I can offer myself when going through this is complete me-time, where I can unwind, de-stress, and focus on my inner needs. This can be done in the comfort of my home, at the beach, or anywhere in between. While the sweating may taper off for some time afterward, it doesn’t truly cure the problem. I’m still hopeful, though, for a full recovery and wish you lots of stress-free times! Chana T., Brooklyn, New York

If you’ve been dealing with hyperhidrosis for some time, I assume that you are familiar with iontophoresis. I tried this fascinating treatment, and it really helped me. Here’s how it worked. I sat with my hands and feet in a shallow tray of water for about 30 minutes, while a low electrical current traveled through the water. No one knows exactly how this treatment works, but experts believe it blocks sweat from getting to a person’s skin’s surface. I had to repeat this electric bath at least a few times a week, but after several times it actually helped to reduce the sweating. Once I learned how to do iontophoresis, I bought a machine to use at home. At this point, I am doing only a few treatments a month for maintenance, and the sweating is now down to a bare minimum. E.P.S., Lakewood, New Jersey

Are you staying hydrated? It’s important to monitor your water intake, which can help to reduce sweating. Spicy foods are also a no-no, as they can bring on sweating too. Go through your wardrobe and opt for loose-fitting, lightweight clothing only. This allows the skin to breathe and properly eliminate sweat. Take a cool shower when you can and sit in front of a fan whenever time allows. The key with hyperhidrosis is to keep the body cool and not to trigger the excessive sweating. Sarala, Monsey, New York

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

A friend of mine went through this experience as well. Her palms were so sweaty that she was embarrassed to show them in public. She shared with me that ultimately, with Hashem’s help, it was healthy eating and lifestyle changes that brought about her cure. It is known that healthy eating can help to reduce stress and anxiety, which can trigger sweating. A healthy diet includes plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. She also completely went off caffeine and alcohol, which can worsen sweating. My friend told me that her daily exercising was a game changer, too. Besides the classic stress relief, she felt that her circulation and digestion picked up, which gave her an overall feeling of wellbeing. Her sweating is now down to a minimum, and she can wave her hands in public to her heart’s content! Pnina R., Los Angeles, California

I’m so sorry to hear about your condition. It takes one to know one. After trying so many standard and alternative treatments, which didn’t do much, the greatest help for me was an overhaul in my eating habits. I went pure, natural, organic. I went all out. I was poked fun at and told I was “obsessive” about healthy foods. But guess what? The sweating in my face slowly decreased and is almost gone. There is no way I’m giving up on my tofu! At this point, it actually tastes good! P. Schorr, Monsey, New York

In many such conditions, there are two culprits. Can you guess? Our good old friends—or enemies, rather—stress and caffeine. Stress worms its way into our inner world and takes up precious space there, without ever asking us for permission to do so! Often, we aren’t even aware of what is stressing us. Try to tune in and listen to your body. What is the stressor? How can it be resolved? Regarding caffeine, it’s very hard to get off a daily coffee, but it’s so worth it. Find a different and healthier soothing drink and see if staying away from caffeine is doable for you. These two pointers can make a huge difference in any recovery, in any situation. Good luck! Yitty, Boro Park, New York

D’vora, Flatbush, New York Yes, I have personally experienced hyperhidrosis, particularly excessive sweating on my face and underarms. It was a frustrating and sometimes embarrassing issue to deal with, but I am happy to share my experience in trying to manage it naturally through healthy eating and lifestyle changes. First, it’s important to note that while natural approaches may not completely eliminate hyperhidrosis for everyone, they can certainly help in reducing its severity and impact on your daily life. Here is what I found helped me: hydration and diet, balanced nutrition, stress management, natural fabrics and clothing choices, regular exercise, and proper skin care. Some herbs, such as sage, have been traditionally used to reduce sweating. You can eat sage by sprinkling it as a garnish on soups or serve it with eggs in an omelet. Also, please be sure to speak with your doctor to rule out any underlying conditions first. I hope this information helps you. Rivky P., Lakewood, New Jersey Excessive sweating is believed to be caused by an overactive sympathetic nervous system. When our nervous system is in overdrive, it induces sweating. Do whatever you can to bring on menuchas hanefesh through peaceful living and inner calmness. Yoga, journaling, medication, and nature walks are just a few starter ideas that can truly help. On the supplement side of things, diets rich in vitamin B and magnesium are thought to help reduce excessive sweating. Maintaining a proper diet with all the required vitamins and minerals is crucial for your health in this situation. T. Scheiner, Highland Mills, New York

I’ve been dealing with this condition for a couple of years now, so I can empathize with your discomfort. The only thing so far that stopped the sweating was being on oxybutynin, 20 mg a day. While it causes a dry mouth, this medication has been a game changer for me. I do have medication prescribed to prevent dry mouth as well, so it really isn’t that bothersome. You could try eating healthy and being more active; I haven’t found that to make any difference for me, but everyone is different. Keep in mind that hyperhidrosis is a physiological condition—it’s basically an exaggerated response of the sweat glands to release excessive amounts of sweat, in the absence of appropriate stimuli. Those with hyperhidrosis can sweat anytime, anywhere, at any temperature, and up to five times more than the average person or what is needed for thermoregulation. Try to be kind to your body, as it runs the course of this condition. You deserve it.

Please note: These suggestions should not be implemented in place of guidance from a medical practitioner.

A really important part of treating hyperhidrosis is to identify triggers. I found that whenever I was outdoors for more than twenty minutes, the sweating boomeranged. I learned to pace myself with breaks in a cooled area so as not to trigger the sweating. Can you try to pinpoint when the sweating picks up? Perhaps keeping a log for a day or two may help with this.

Rochel H., Linden, New Jersey

Next Up: After a long day, I am usually exhausted and fall asleep easily. However, a few hours later, I get jolted awake, and then toss and turn for the rest of the night. What can I do to improve my quality of sleep?

Want to share what worked for you with a fellow Wellspring Community member? Send your response to info@wellspringmagazine.com. WELLSPRING / ELUL 5784

FITNESS

Prenatal Exercise Dos and Don’ts By Chaya Tziry Retter, RDN, BS, CPT

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

There are countless changes a woman’s body goes through while carrying and supporting the new life growing inside. Due to these many transformations, the body’s ability to take part in different forms of exercise changes too. That being said, it’s extremely important to emphasize the tremendous benefits of working out throughout the entire pregnancy. ACOG (American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists) and ACSM (American College of Sports Medicine) provide this general guideline for exercise during pregnancy: In uncomplicated pregnancies, women with or without a previously sedentary lifestyle should be encouraged to participate in aerobic and strength-conditioning exercises as part of a healthy lifestyle. Let’s just explore how best to exercise while expecting. • Listen to your body. Hashem created the body in an incredible way so it adapts to the pregnancy immediately. As a tiny precious being grows, the body adjusts your blood pressure, expands your rib cage, and increases your blood volume, among many other miraculous accommodations. So, listen to your body! It will tell you what’s too much and when you should take it easy. Keep in mind though, adaptations are unique for every pregnant woman and not every woman will respond to exercise during pregnancy in the same way. Depending on the stage you are in, different warning signs will be triggered. • Get your doctor or midwife’s permission before beginning any exercise routine. • If a moderate exercise regimen was followed prior to pregnancy, stick to what you have been doing. Exercise should not exceed pre-pregnancy levels. ACSM suggests that moderate-to-hard is quite safe for a woman who is accustomed to this level of exercise.

• If you were previously inactive, start slowly at 10–15 minutes per workout. • If you were a regular exerciser and engaged in high-intensity exercise programs such as jogging and aerobics, you should be able to sustain the same amount of exercise with some modifications as the pregnancy progresses. • Keep an eye on the intensity of your workout. You don’t need a heart rate monitor; just ensure you’re able to carry on a conversation while exercising, but that you’re not able to sing. • Until twenty weeks, you can keep to regular pre-pregnancy guidelines, aiming for 20–30 minutes of moderate activity most days of the week. After twenty weeks, anatomical changes and fetal requirements will necessitate more specific prenatal exercises. • Research shows core exercises should be a part of your strength training routine—this helps minimize the pressure on your spine and joints. However, core exercises must be modified and include specific pelvic floor and midsection movements, especially after twenty weeks. • Exercise in a cool environment, avoiding prolonged exposure to heat. • Be aware of hypermobility or “overstretching.” Relaxin, the hormone that allows your pelvis and rib cage to expand to fit your growing baby, also creates loose joints, as well as instability. The loose joints allow for more flexibility, but they also may cause unsteadiness or a higher tendency to fall. • Be aware of a blood pressure drop with positional change (lying to standing), which may cause lightheadedness and dizziness. This can happen in interval training–type workouts. Make sure to transition slowly with no abrupt movements. • It is especially important to fuel your workout when you’re expecting. An hour before exercise, a snack with complex carbohydrates, protein, and a little fat is recommended. Drink about

a cup (8 ounces) of water for every 15 minutes of exercise. • Make sure you warm up before and cool down after a workout. A warmup for each exercise session gives the body a chance to adapt gradually to movement and exertion. This makes exercise easier and gives your body a chance to deliver oxygen to your muscles and the fetus. A cool-down returns the body to normal. • Check in with your doctor or midwife about conditions such as diastasis recti (an abdominal separation), back pain, and pelvic pain. If you have these conditions, some exercises will not be safe or effective and can even be damaging. • If you are not gaining the proper amount of weight—either too much or too little—check with your doctor or midwife. • Types of exercise that have been studied and found to be safe and beneficial in pregnancy include walking, stationary cycling, aerobic exercise, yoga (modified), Pilates (modified), dancing, resistance exercises (including weights or resistance bands), stretching, running, racquet sports, and water aerobics. When following an exercise program during pregnancy, you are giving a wonderful gift to yourself and your baby. Keeping fit will boost you during the nine months in which you are supporting life, and hopefully prepare you for an easier delivery as well as recovery. As is always true, if you find an exercise you enjoy, you’ll be more likely to follow through and stay consistent. Besha’ah tovah! Chaya Tziry Retter is a Monsey-based Registered Dietitian, ACE-Certified Personal Trainer, and group fitness instructor. She is passionate about helping others lead healthier lives in a way that suits their needs. She can be reached at 845540-4487.

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ASK THE NUTRITIONIST By Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

I’ve been on a strict diet over the past couple of months. I feel good about my healthy eating, and the ability to shed some pounds. There is one part of this lifestyle that bothers me: my newfound obsession with the scale. I find myself checking my weight more often than I should be. Any advice on how to deal with this?

Great question. Many people find themselves in your predicament. Dieting or even being health conscious can often bring on a tricky relationship with the scale. It begins with curiosity, and then snakes into constant checking or a fullfledged obsession. Let’s start by getting some honest answers to very real questions. Ask yourself the following: Have you ever stopped and thought about your relationship with your scale? Do you find yourself checking your weight every morning to then let the number dictate your mood, your self-esteem, and your happiness? Do you fixate over that number, and feel guilty or ashamed if you gain weight? If this sounds familiar to you, then you may have what’s known as scale addiction. Scale addiction is a term that describes the unhealthy and obsessive behavior of using the scale to measure your value and progress. It can cause anxiety, depression, eating disorders, body dysmorphia, and other mental and physical health problems. It can also stop you from enjoying your life and loving your body for what it can do. If you want to free yourself from the tyranny of the scale, then you may want to consider breaking up with it. Yes, I am suggesting a complete separation with the scale. Remove it from

WELLSPRING / MAY 2024

your sight and reach so that you are not tempted to step on it again. If you don’t have a scale at home but use one at the gym or elsewhere, then avoid using it or ask someone to hide it from you. Throw it out with the daily garbage. It’s worth just as much, and here is why. For starters, the scale does not tell the “whole” story. The weight it measures is influenced by many factors that have zero to do with your health or fitness. In fact, your weight can fluctuate due to water retention, hormonal changes, muscle mass, food intake, bowel movements, and more. These factors can cause your weight to vary by several pounds in a day or even in an hour. Therefore, the scale is not an accurate or reliable indicator of your true body composition or health status. A person’s weight can fluctuate a great deal within a 24-hour period, and just like the stock market, if one watches the ups and downs every few hours or every few days, they will freak out and panic. Weighing yourself often generates a great deal of anxiety for people, in addition to the few prayers said as they lightly place the first foot on the scale. For many, the scale is measuring self-esteem: If you are down a few pounds, you feel great about yourself, and if you are up a pound or two, you feel bad about yourself. In this case, the scale is in control of the person, rather than the person being in control of the scale. As such, the scale is not a reliable indicator of one’s progress. When you exercise and eat well, you may be burning fat and building muscle, which is good for your health and appearance. But the scale may not show any change, or it may even show a slight weight gain, because muscle is denser than fat. This can make a person feel frustrated and unmotivated and make them doubt their progress or efforts. Conversely, if you are losing weight due to unhealthy habits, such as skipping meals or overdoing it at the gym, the scale may show a lower number, which can be deceptive and harmful. This can make you believe that you are doing well and reaching your goals, when in reality, you are damaging your body and risking serious health problems. Not convinced yet? Read on for some more incriminating information about the scale. The scale does not determine your value. Your weight is just a number. It does not tell you who you are as a person, what you can achieve, or how much you are appreciated. You are more than a number on a scale. You have unique gifts, abilities, interests, principles, and personality traits that make you special and valuable. You have friends, family, and loved ones who care about you and support you regardless of your weight. You have goals,

dreams, and aspirations that are not related to your weight. You have a life to live and enjoy that is not restricted by your weight. Don’t let that blinking number down by your toes dictate your worth; you are so much more. The scale results can take you from confidence to self-loathing in less than six seconds. Once a person’s home is free of weight-tracking devices, they should shift their focus to how they feel. Pay attention to how you feel in your body and mind. Notice how much energy you have throughout the day, how well you sleep at night, how clear your skin is, how strong your immune system is, how happy and confident you are, and how much fun you have doing the things you love. These are the true signs of health and wellness that matter more than any number on a scale. Let all your hard work, your accomplishments, and your successes influence how you feel about yourself. Don’t let a 25-dollar hunk of plastic from Wal-Mart be the determining factor in your self-esteem. Don’t weigh your self-esteem with a scale! Of course, many step on the scale because they “feel fat.” But fat is not a feeling. How can you feel good on Thursday, but “feel fat” on Friday? Did you gain 25 pounds overnight? “Feeling fat” can be a cover-up for saying “I feel inadequate,” “I feel insecure,” “I feel ashamed,” “I feel guilty,” “I feel uncomfortable with myself,” or “I feel like I have no self-esteem.” And instead of people dealing with these powerful emotions, they chose to deal with “feeling fat,” and throw themselves on a diet, because that is easier. If you are not sure how the scale impacts your life, you can also try taking a break and see how you feel. Then ask yourself: Has your health improved or not? Can you focus on your fitness routine better? Are you happier? I bet without your weight at the center of everything, you will be able to focus on all your goals. Without the scale telling you how bad or good you look, you will learn to engage in your own body-image issues. Your mood will not be measured by weight anymore. The scale is not a friend or ally. It is just a tool that can be useful or harmful depending on its use and how much power a person gives it. If a person is obsessed with the scale and lets it affect their mood, their identity, and their life, then it might be time to stop weighing themselves and to start living life. When you stop weighing yourself and focus on how you feel and what you are grateful for, you will be able to love your body and yourself more than ever before. You will also be able to enjoy your life and achieve your goals without being held back by a number on a scale. So go ahead and stop weighing yourself. Better yet, throw out that scale today and start living your life. You deserve it.

Laura Shammah MS, RDN, has been operating a private practice in New York and New Jersey for over 20 years. Her clientele runs the gamut from people with eating disorders to those dealing with hypertension, high cholesterol, diabetes and cancer. She also helps clients who run in marathons or are looking to lose or gain weight in a healthy way. Her nutritional guidance is published in MaryAnne Cohen’s book Lasagna for Lunch: Declaring Peace With Emotional Eating. Laura can be reached at 718-376-0062 or Laurashammah@aol.com.

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5784

CUP OF TEA

havy Fruchter is an upbeat young mother who grew up in Williamsburg and is now living with her husband and children in a development in Lakewood, New Jersey. Always a natural teacher, Chavy worked in a local Bais Yaakov in Brooklyn when she first got married. Soon enough, she had her first child, then her second, and third. Life got hectic with three kids under four, a challenging job, and a home to run. One day, Chavy saw an advertisement for a class on Creative Journal Expressive Arts (CJEA) offered by Mrs. Hudi Gugenheimer. Feeling overwhelmed and overextended, she decided to take some time out for herself to get away from the pressures of everyday life that were weighing her down. Sitting there in the session, following Hudy’s instructions, Chavy felt the tension seep out of her bones.

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

That evening was transformative. “I felt like I was on vacation,” Chavy admits. After that class, Chavy reached out to Mrs. Gugenheimer to try to arrange an in-person follow-up, but with Mrs. Gugenheimer in the Monsey area and Chavy in Brooklyn with three small children and a demanding job, they just couldn’t seem to find a way to make it work. Finally, Mrs. Gugenheimer gave Chavy the contact information of the people who had trained her in this modality. “I got into it for personal reasons,” Chavy shares with me. “I was always looking for inner peace, calm, and happiness. I always had this pull to find my purpose. I was looking for my own healing.” Chavy ended up flying to Texas to learn CJEA. The course included ten days in Texas, ten days in California, and casework in between. It was a full year program, focusing mainly on CJEA but also touching on inner child work, Dominant

Cup of Tea with Chavy Fruchter AGE: 37 LOCATION: Lakewood, New Jersey FAMILY: Married with six kids OCCUPATION: Emotional Coach PASSION: Helping women clear inner blockages so they can thrive.

SHE WISHES PEOPLE WOULD KNOW: “Everything you do is for a greater good.”

By Devorah Levitz

Hand Art and Nondominant Hand Art, Voice Dialogue, Mat Work, and Bert Hellinger’s Family Constellation. After that year, she continued taking courses and practicing, building up her skills and expertise over time. I ask Chavy for a brief overview of these modalities. She learned Creative Journal Expressive Arts (CJEA) during that year, but the other methods that she learned took additional time and courses and she only started practicing them later. Chavy explains to me what they are about. “Creative Journal Expressive Arts uses both hemispheres of the brain to break through creative blocks,” she explains. “Through guided journal activities using both hands, the playful and creative inner child can communicate via spontaneous expression. Thoughts and feelings that are trapped inside are able to surface so you can examine them and reach a place of healing.” Chavy recalls a woman who was having difficulty get-

ting pregnant. After doing CJEA sessions focusing on the recovery of the inner child, Rachel* was able to access the procreative part of herself. Additionally, she was able to release some of the fears that arose from difficulties in her previous pregnancy. Soon after, Rachel found that she was expecting. The dominant hand is the hand we use for the majority of our daily activities. Most people have a dominant right hand. Although both hemispheres of the brain work together to some extent on most tasks, in general, the right side of the brain controls motor activity on the left side of the body, and vice versa. CJEA guides the user in how to use both hands when creating art or writing in their journal so they can access both hemispheres of the brain. Aside from the benefit of full brain access, using both sides also accesses the benefits of crossing over the midline, leading to further integration.

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CUP OF TEA

At another CJEA workshop, there was a participant who came in with a confident, positive, and easygoing demeanor. Soon however, the woman began expressing some very serious feelings. The depth and strength of the feelings surprised both Chavy and the woman herself. Later that night, the woman called Chavy and revealed that she felt much younger. She hadn’t even realized she was holding onto those feelings. CJEA allowed her to identify and give voice to things that were holding her down, and once she released them, her entire world changed for the better. Voice Dialogue goes even further inside the mind and personality. “Voice Dialogue gives voice to our various selves,” Chavy reveals. “Everybody knows that people aren’t one-dimensional. In writing class your teacher tells you about flat characters and round characters; flat characters are one-dimensional and boring, while real people are round. We all have many inner selves, parts, and sub-personalities. “Additionally, in Voice Dialogue, sometimes we ask one part how it can help another part. It’s not just about discovering the various parts, but about tapping into them and utilizing them optimally. There is no part that is bad. Every part of a person has something to teach, and potential for good,” Chavy asserts. Estelle* looked confident, but inside she felt broken. “When she attended my workshop, she expressed how she was always in emotional pain. I worked with her to talk to her parts. Together, we found a part of her that was confident. Voice Dialogue gave that part a voice and allowed it to take center stage.” Estelle discovered a new and serene inner confidence. “Voice Dialogue helped her tap into own inner reservoirs of strength,” Chavy explains, “and embark on a new and

healthier future.” Voice Dialogue helps a person develop the ability to handle or manage their selves in a more conscious way. By learning how to recognize their various primary selves and discover their disowned selves, a person can learn how to be more in control of their responses and actions. “I’m a very emotional person,” Chavy tells me. “Through Voice Dialogue I learned to differentiate my feelings from what I meant to do. I am able to look at my feelings in an objective sort of way and decide what to do rather than just react. This method really helped me learn how to tap into my yetzer tov.” Shani* used Voice Dialogue to help her make a decision about a position at work. “As with many job decisions, there were positives and negatives,” Chavy relates. “Shani had so many conflicting thoughts and feelings that she felt stuck. Unable to figure out what she really wanted, she felt worse and worse as time went on, and her lack of decision weighed heavily on her. I used Voice Dialogue to help her listen to the different cries from inside herself. Shani was able to hear how different parts were screaming for different things. Once she let them each be heard, she was able to make a solid decision from a healthy place. Voice Dialogue allowed her to make a decision that was grounded in reality and reflected the totality of her inner selves.” During her year of CJEA training, Chavy was introduced to Bert Hellinger’s Family Constellation. Everyone who is part of a family belongs in the Family Constellation. Parents, children, siblings and ancestors, whether alive or not, all move in a sort of dance, like a constellation of heavenly bodies. There are relationships and traumas that can be transferred up, down or sideways within each Family Constellation. When somebody marries, they join a new Family

Constellation, creating additional relationships and orbits. “Family Constellation therapy can help a person identify and let go of generational trauma,” Chavy relates. “It works through issues of family dynamics. Sometimes, children carry their parents’ emotions. Occasionally, a parent will take their emotional needs from their child, rather than meeting their child’s needs. This is unhealthy for both the parent and the child and can affect other relationships in the constellation as well. “Most families have a system of relationships, similar to a solar system,” she explains. “A lot of it is not conscious. Patterns repeat in the system, and sometimes there can be unprocessed emotions affecting things in a negative way. When there’s a trauma or loss, the dynamics can shift in an unhealthy manner. We help clients hand trauma back to whoever it belongs to.” Rivky* was a newly divorced woman whose daughter had a serious issue that needed help. Additionally, the pain of the child’s problem was compounded by Rivky’s feelings about it. Through Family Constellation therapy, Chavy helped Rivky recognize that the issue the child was facing stemmed from something in Rivky’s now defunct marriage. “Once Rivky recognized that her daughter had the same issue as her ex-husband, and that’s why it was so difficult for her to face it, Rivky chose to emotionally hand it back to her daughter,” Chavy says. “Once she let go of responsibility, Rivky was able to face the issue from the vantage point of the mother of the one with the issue, rather than feeling direct ownership over it. This allowed Rivky to seek and attain better help for her daughter, and to find healing for herself so that she could deal with it from a better place. Together, both mother and daughter achieved healing and growth.” At the end of the year, Chavy was certified to practice CJEA as well as Voice Dialogue, Mat Work, Family Constellation, and other methods. However, it was not her intention to use these tools with other people. It was her own personal journey she was on, for her own growth. As she moved along this journey, she sometimes did workshops or worked with individuals, but she was still mainly doing it for herself. Then, through word of mouth, she began helping more and more women. She enjoyed the personal growth she was experiencing, and the gratification that came from helping others in the community as well. Speaking of journeys, at one point Chavy found the book The Journey: A Practical Guide to Healing Your Life and Setting Yourself Free, by Brandon Bays. As she read it, it resonated deeply with her because she felt that she was living the “journey.” She reached out to the author for a practitioner they could recommend to her. Fortunately, there was a woman close by, and she came to Chavy’s house and did a session with her. Once again, after experiencing how much it helped her, Chavy signed up for classes in The Journey method. In fact, she was the first woman in the area who brought The Journey down to the Jewish community. She set up the course in Monsey, and today there are frum women in a number of communities who are able to help others with The Journey method.

Six years ago, Chavy moved from Brooklyn to Lakewood. Since most of her work had been in Boro Park, and she didn’t have an official business, she decided to stop giving workshops and take a step back from her role as a facilitator. She still had a few clients here and there, but she was not looking to build back up a full clientele. Still, she took more courses for personal reasons, constantly looking for new ideas. When she was diagnosed with a serious illness earlier this year, Chavy took a long and hard look at her life. She felt she needed to get back into her work helping others heal, as this was something she thought that Hashem wanted her to do. In making this decision, she felt like she was coming to a place where she was choosing life. Together with medical treatments, Chavy takes care of herself by eating in a consciously healthy manner and doing inner work. She knows that this is the path she needs to travel to achieve wellbeing. Sometime after her decision to get back into the field, people started calling Chavy for consultations. As she started getting more calls, people close to her encouraged her to open up her schedule and do this work in a more structured way. Although she is mostly dedicated to her family and her own inner healing, Chavy makes sure to make time in her schedule for a few sessions with clients each week. Most of the women come for a short treatment series of one to four sessions. Often, they are referred to her by local practitioners who feel they can benefit from the work she does. When she did her workshops in Brooklyn, people would schedule weekly sessions for a few months at a time, but now she does much shorter series. Chavy believes strongly that doing inner work is important, but at the same time, she feels it is crucial to remember that although a person is required to put in the effort, ultimately healing comes from Hashem alone. “When you do the inner work to try to elevate your thoughts and your actions, you become a better person and help bring more kedushah into the world. This alone is a tremendous zechus for healing.” Sometimes a person may think that healing looks a certain way. However, Chavy cautions, “The less attached one is to the result, the more room there is for a positive outcome. It’s not good to be too attached to a specific result. Leave things open to Hashem. He has far more creativity and goodness than any human can imagine. When you leave the healing to Him, wondrous things can happen.” Chavy has a takeaway that many people would love to have. “Everyone has a different opinion about my journey,” she avers. “But I know that it’s made a positive impact on so many people. I learned to take responsibility for myself. I feel like a different person because of the work I’ve done. I used to be more of a pushover, but now I’m able to give to others and still take care of myself.” *Names and some details have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals in these anecdotes Chavy is based in Lakewood, New Jersey and can be contacted via Wellspring.

MEDICAL SAGA

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

FIT TO BE TIED At four months old, my son Akiva weighed only ten pounds and was categorized as failure to thrive. As told to Tziri Hershkovitz

Born at the end of June, at 39 weeks, as a robust newborn weighing 7 pounds, 15 ounces, Akiva had looked no different than my other babies. Beautiful blue eyes and black hair with the adorable pudge I was sure would soon grow into a plump double chin. But that didn’t happen. Still in the hospital, one day post birth, the lactation consultant inquired whether I needed assistance. Hormonal and exhausted I let the tears fall as I said yes. The baby managed to latch on most of the time, but it was painful and he didn’t suckle for long. Akiva was my fifth baby and I considered myself somewhat of a pro. After the learning curve with my first, this was the only time I’d encountered any issues. I couldn’t fathom what I was doing wrong. But the lactation consultant could. She gave me a long list of advice I’d never heard of, from suggesting a football hold to warning me about nipple confusion to suggesting a whole lot of gadgets and creams. Over the next week I tried everything, but the pain persisted. Still, he finally started latching on better and nursing for extended periods of time. But the sigh of relief came too soon. As the weeks passed, my baby was barely bigger than at birth. What I most noticed were his cheeks. Whereas my other babies’ cheeks fluffed up, Akiva looked scrawny. Truth be told, I didn’t immediately notice

it myself. As his mother, the fact that he looked the same from one day to the next didn’t strike me as particularly alarming. But as it happened, that summer I was in a bungalow colony where opinions abound. Each time I came out to sit in the circle and brought my baby with me, invariably, someone would remark on his tiny size. It didn’t make sense. I knew from past experience that my babies had gained over three pounds by the time they were six weeks old, but my Akiva was still fitting into the same outfits he had worn right after birth. He was eight weeks old when I finally visited my pediatrician, but the doctor wasn’t immediately concerned. “Babies grow at their own pace,” he assured me. Still, as a conscientious doctor, he took my concerns seriously and asked me to come in again two days later. At that age, babies are supposed to gain around an ounce every day. At the subsequent visit, the doctor recognized that the baby hadn’t gained anything at all. I kept coming in every two days and the doctor’s formerly jovial approach grew more serious. Over the course of the week, he realized Akiva had gained exactly two ounces. Though there was no evident reason, it was still cause for alarm. Despite my milk supply and quality never having been an issue before, the doctor immediately rec-

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MEDICAL SAGA

It was when I was bottle-feeding that I noticed just how slowly and laboriously Akiva was sucking. A 4-ounce bottle often took him over a half hour to finish, and he’d fall asleep mid-feeding. The doctor’s opinion was to find a better bottle nipple, but my younger sister Blimie had a different idea. A year prior, after Blimie’s daughter was born, Blimie had suffered from recurrent mastitis—blocked ducts that led to painful breast infections. Her daughter’s loud clicking noise when nursing was a telltale sign and her alert primary care doctor advised her to check whether her baby might be having a tongue-tie issue. Ankyloglossia, or more commonly known as tongue-tie, is a condition that happens when the lingual frenulum, the tissue that connects the tongue to the bottom of the mouth, is too short, thick, or tight. This can limit the tongue’s movement, which can affect feeding and speaking. Blimie had noticed that when her baby attempted to stick out her tongue, there was an indentation at the tip, creating a butterfly effect. At the specialist in Albany, Blimie had been surprised to discover that in addition to the tongue-tie, her baby also had a lip-tie and substantial cheek-tie. Cheek-tie, also known as buccal tie or buccal frenum restriction, is when the band of tissue connecting the cheeks to the gums is too tight or short. (Buccal is pronounced the same as the word “buckle.”) At the time, the highly acclaimed Dr. Lawrence Kotlow gave Blimie a crash course on the long list of potential issues a tongue-tie might present (see sidebar), as well as

“

Tongue-tie is the most well-known, as it is a tightness in the most significant frenum in the mouth and can impact feeding, sleeping, and eventually speech. But it isn’t the only one that can impact the child. A maxillary lip-tie (upper jaw) often also causes issues, and occasionally, it’s the mandibular buccal frenum (cheek-tie) that can be restrictive as well.

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

As Dr. Kotlow gave post-op instructions, including massaging the incision sites to ensure the ties do not reconnect, he also remarked to Blimie that ankyloglossia has a strong hereditary component, and favors boys over girls at a ratio of 3:1. I’ll confess, back when Blimie had first regaled me with my niece’s ordeal in Albany, I wasn’t fully listening. Medical terms were not my thing and I was grateful to have never encountered any of what she mentioned. I had put it so entirely out of my mind that now, when my Akiva presented with so many of the indicators, I hadn’t even put two and two together. Even after she reminded me about it, I couldn’t understand the correlation between a possible tongue-tie and low weight. But Blimie explained that despite my baby latching and suckling well for his long feedings, if he was doing that with a tongue-tie, he was expending an inordinate amount of effort and therefore wasn’t gaining weight, because he was burning all the calories he was eating. The hectic back-to-school and Yom Tov season was approaching and I was still making my trek to the doctor every other day to monitor Akiva’s weight. At the next visit, when my son was already three months old, I asked him about the potential link to tongue-tie. The doctor ran

I kept coming in every two days and the doctor’s formerly jovial approach grew more serious…

on all seven “frena,” or folds of tissue in the mouth. Four of them are in the cheeks and those are referred to as buccal frena. A frenum just refers to the tissue and isn’t a problem on its own. It is only considered a “tie” (tongue-tie, lip-tie, cheek-tie) when it is tight.

The procedure to snip the tie is called a frenotomy and it is relatively quick. In fact, when the issue is mild, it is often done by the child’s pediatrician using surgical scissors. Because of the severity and complexity, Blimie had her baby’s frenotomy done by a specialist. Using laser, the doctor makes a small cut in the tight frena, the connected tissue. Frenotomies are typically performed without anesthesia and take mere seconds. Most babies can feed immediately after.

“

ommended that I supplement my baby’s feedings with 4-ounce bottles.

his finger under my baby’s tongue and confirmed that the tongue-tie was there, “But barely. I doubt there is any correlation between that and his slow weight gain,” he insisted. “I’ve seen worse ties and the babies were fine.” With no reason to doubt him and Yom Tov around the corner, I put the tongue-tie concerns out of my mind as we got ready to welcome a new year. Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Sukkos passed in a blur. On Simchas Torah, Blimie saw me and inquired whether I’d made the appointment in Albany. I told her my doctor didn’t believe it was the issue, but Blimie, who had run her finger under my son’s tongue, too, was adamant.

“So many doctors miss it,” she explained. “There are many different types of tongue-tie, and most doctors only recognize it when it presents in the typical form. You need a specialist.”

Potential Indicators of Tongue-Tie

A week after Sukkos, when Akiva was four months old, and his weight stubbornly stuck to ten pounds, the doctor officially proclaimed him as failure to thrive, or FTT. FTT is considered an observation rather than a diagnosis. It involves taking accurate measurements of a child’s weight and height over time and charting them. Despite the clinical accuracy involved, it did little to improve my child’s situation.

• Reflux or colic symptoms

Finally, I’d had enough. I called Dr. Kotlow’s office for the earliest possible appointment, and got one for a week away. My son was diagnosed with posterior tongue-tie, or “submucosal,” where the frenulum extends further into the tongue tissue rather than toward the tip. In addition to his ankyloglossia, there was a maxillary and four buccal ties! We had the procedure done on Thursday and within days, I started seeing a difference in his size. And with my frequent visits to my pediatrician, he noticed the weight gain too. As the doctor remarked about the improvements on the scale, I reminded him that we had just had a massive frenotomy done. My doctor, believe it or not, insisted that the fact my son had started gaining was happenstance. “Coincidence,” he called it. “His FTT was not related to any tongue-tie issues.” My son is now a healthy and chubby almost-twoyear-old, and I’ll allow his pediatrician to maintain his claims. I can see the truth with my own eyes.

This past spring Blimie got to bless another little baby with her knowledge. “Anyone have any surplus milk to offer?” Sheva read the text Blimie had written on their friends’ chat. “I’ve got plenty of frozen 5-ounce bags,” Sheva immediately offered. “I’m heading out soon. Where do I drop it off?” Later that afternoon, Blimie met up with Sheva at the local park and Blimie related that after flying with her family to Chicago in May, she had found that her milk supply had completely dried up. Though not unheard of, Blimie was very disappointed. She had brought her four-month-old along solely for the purpose of maintaining her robust milk supply. But it was not to be. Now that she’d come back from Illinois, Blimie was trying everything to regain her supply. In the interim, she wished to give her baby breastmilk. Sheva had a different tale of woe. Her son was five weeks old, but unfortunately, despite feeding him what felt like around the clock, he wasn’t gaining. “He looks so scrawny,” Sheva said, as she pointed to her

• Frequent feeding • Poor weight gain • Gagging and choking • Low milk supply • Baby comes off latch or loses suction while feeding • Noisy suckling or clicking while feeding • Chomping on the nipple • Painful breastfeeding • Recurrent blocked ducts or mastitis • Damaged or bleeding nipples • Noisy breathing or snoring sounds when sleeping • Speech delay If not corrected before adulthood, ankyloglossia has been associated with the following: • Teeth malalignment • Dental problems • TMJ • Headaches • Mouth breathing • Digestive issues • Sleep disorders

baby stroller. After Blimie looked at the tiny baby she got to tell another pained mother about tongue-ties and the possible correlation. “May I?” Blimie asked Sheva, pointing to the little one. At Sheva’s nod, Blimie put on her ever-handy disposable rubber gloves and ran her finger through the baby’s mouth. “Definitely tongue-tied,” Blimie remarked. “Cheeks, too,” she added. “And a strong lip-tie as well.” Sheva immediately made an appointment to Dr. Scott Siegel, a highly recommended Manhattan specialist. She called Blimie just a few days later, tearfully expressing her overwhelming gratitude. “My doctor didn’t say anything,” Sheva lamented to Blimie. “Had you not told me, I don’t know what would have been.” “Doctors often miss posterior ties,” Blimie said. “It was your generous donation of breastmilk that prompted the conversation,” Blimie pointed out. “It was only because of your offer to do chessed that I was able to offer my advice. Hashem loves you and instantly repaid your kindness.”

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INTUITIVE EATING by Gila Glassberg

QUESTION: If someone wants to “honor their hunger” and start following an Intuitive Eating lifestyle, but they are too worried about gaining a lot of weight, what advice would you give? Let’s say the person is already at an unhealthy weight and their doctors say they have to lose weight for their health and safety—would that change your advice?

ANSWER: Intuitive Eating has ten principles, one of which is to “honor your hunger.” Another principle is to “reject the diet mentality,” and yet another is to “honor one’s health with gentle nutrition.” The doctor’s encouragement to lose weight is a central point here. It is important to note though that too often, people try very hard to lose weight on a diet, only to feel that they’ve “failed.” Research has shown that the perceived failure—the gaining back of all the lost weight—isn’t on the dieter. The dieter hasn’t failed; it is the dieting system that failed them. Though I understand your question regarding the individual feeling that they need to diet, I stand by my recommendation to focus on learning to eat intuitively, which does not mean “eat whatever you want, whenever you want.” What I help people do on this journey is to focus on their health. Instead of prioritizing losing weight, let’s actually pay attention to healthy behaviors. Weight isn’t a behavior; you therefore can’t “stop doing it.” Healthy behavior might include paying attention to when you feel physically hungry versus emotionally upset. This is because eating just to take away the pain—and not to nourish your body—is definitely one of the behaviors that can be avoided by figuring out why you are doing this and what else you can do instead. Modern medicine is coming around and showing that dieting doesn’t work. By rejecting diet mentality and putting weight loss on the back burner, you can embrace healthy behaviors like eating more fruits and vegetables, increasing your joyful movement, and beginning to eat when you are physically hungry and stop when you are full. I wish you luck on your journey! Gila Glassberg is a master’s level registered dietitian and a certified Intuitive Eating counselor. As a teenager, she was faced with constant diet talk, body shaming, and obsessive guilt around food. This led to years of struggling with disordered eating, which propelled her into the field of nutrition. She now uses a non-diet, weight-neutral approach called Intuitive Eating to help her clients all over the world. She helps growth-oriented women break out of chronic dieting and regain clarity into what is really important to them. You can find more of Gila’s interviews, blog posts, and information on her website at www.gilaglassberg. com. Reach out to her at 570-878-3642 or gila@gilaglassberg.com to book individual or group sessions. Gila is available for public speaking events on topics such as rejecting the diet mentality, how to speak to our children about food, and avoiding eating disorders.

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GUT REACTION

TOO MUCH TO CARRY PREGNANCY LOSS WITH NO CLEAR CAUSE By Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE

“I’ve been taking too much for granted,” Mali* told me the first time we met. The 39-year-old mother of six had consulted with me for prenatal nutrition advice. “In my younger years I had six healthy pregnancies, and I didn’t realize how blessed I was. I figured it came that way.” Unfortunately, she learned otherwise. Since the birth of her youngest, a four-year-old at the time of our consultation, Mali had suffered a series of five miscarriages. From their end, her doctors had ruled out any clear medical causes. “If it’s not meant for me to have more children, I will accept that,” Mali said, although even as she spoke, I could see she was pained at the thought. “But when I look back in ten years, I’d like to know that I tried my absolute best within the realm of basic hishtadlus with nutrition and supplements. That’s why I’m reaching out for your advice.” I fully understood Mali’s desire to know she had given it her all and was determined within my scope of knowledge to do everything I could to try to help her carry a pregnancy to term. The first order of business was reviewing bloodwork levels. I advised on her ideal dates to conduct specific blood tests, and after a few weeks, I reviewed her results. Included in our tests were a thyroid panel, AMH, FSH, LH, estrogen, progesterone, 54

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testosterone, DHEA-S, and fasting insulin. To get her started at the first session, we initiated what I call “the basics” for supporting a healthy pregnancy: • Prenatal with 800 mcg folate (methylated if MTHFR gene present or, if unknown, in all Ashkenazic women) • Vitamin D, 2000 IU per day (higher if deficient under 20) • Vitamin C, 500 mg per day, an antioxidant • Vitamin E, 200 IU per day, an antioxidant • Alpha Lipoic acid, 200 mg per day, an antioxidant • Coenzyme Q10, 400–800 mg (in the form of vegan ubiquinol), cellular anti-aging supplement The above is based on our current understanding of the role that antioxidants play in prenatal nutrition. Chromosomal abnormalities (an extra or missing copy of a chromosome in developed eggs) explains the increase in miscarriage and drop in fertility that is seen with aging. What is greatly misunderstood is that older women have more chromosomal abnormalities not due to accumulated lifetime damage but because their mitochondria produce less energy with age, making it harder for the chromosome developing process to take place properly at the final stage of ovum development.

With this understanding, if we give the tired mitochondria of the developing follicles a boost for the threeto-four-month time period it takes during the final maturation stage, there is a significantly decreased risk of a chromosomal abnormality and subsequent miscarriage. This understanding is a game-changer to many women who have resigned themselves to decreased fertility with age. Diet, supplements, and avoiding environmental chemicals for three to four months can result in outcomes that are similar to women in their twenties. Coenzyme Q10, the most powerful anti-aging supplement on the market, allows the mitochondria of all cells, including those of developing follicles, to function as if they are younger. Antioxidant supplements surround the developing follicle and prevent inflammation from damaging the development process. Exciting new research is emerging that supports the use of these compounds for improving fertility and preventing miscarriage. Aside from chromosomal abnormalities, hormone levels also play a role in recurrent miscarriage. I noticed that Mali’s DHEA and estrogen levels were on the very low end of normal. While this may not have been noticed from a medical perspective, regulating levels of hormones is key to priming the body for a successful pregnancy outcome. DHEA, an adrenal hormone, is

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*Name changed to protect privacy Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE, is a dietitian whose mission is to improve lives by empowering individuals to use nutrition to improve their gut health and hormone balance. She is a recognized expert on IBS/SIBO and has developed the Gut Dietitian training protocols on IBS and IBD for Registered Dietitian education. She writes, lectures, and counsels extensively on IBD, IBS, PCOS/fertility, and thyroid health, and is the founder of www.thegutdietitian.com virtual practice and co-founder of the app Belly.

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a precursor for estrogen and testosterone, and is often low in women who are chronically overworked and stressed. “But the lab reference range didn’t flag my DHEA levels,” Mali said as I pointed this detail out. Although that was true, according to the functional medicine model ideal lab values, it was clearly not ideal. It was therefore impacting her body’s ability to produce a strong estrogen rise as well. I recommended she take a three-to-four-month course of DHEA at a low dose of 5–10 mg, testing blood levels monthly to monitor. I also noticed that her fasting insulin was on the very high end of normal. High insulin levels can wreak havoc on hormone levels and create an inflammatory state that is not ideal for the quality of developing eggs. With that in mind, we prioritized educating Mali on a lower-carbohydrate, blood-sugar-regulating food plan at her second session. I encouraged more exercise and stress management, also vital to blood sugar regulation. We implemented anti-inflammatory diet principles, such as a “colorful diet,” lots of omega-3 fatty acids from fish and from fish oil supplements, and decreasing inflammatory processed fats. “Even if this diet doesn’t help me hold a pregnancy to term,” she said, “I feel so much more energetic and younger on it, which is amazing!” I educated Mali on avoiding BPA (an unhealthy chemical compound found in plastics, that has been shown to impact fertility) by not using plastic storage or utensils with hot or acidic food. I also gave strict instructions to avoid phthalates, fragrances, and parabens in her skincare, known to damage egg quality and interfere with hormone production. While she was sad to bid farewell to her home scent system, she had fun in the mall makeup store picking new foundations, moisturizer, and other skin-care products from the clean line I had recommended. I was excited and hopeful for Mali five months later when she emailed to report the good news that she was expecting again. While there is not enough evidence to support it, many practitioners still believe in monitoring early pregnancy progesterone levels and intervening if they are low. While she had used supplemental progesterone in early past pregnancies and still suffered losses, interestingly enough, this time her progesterone levels were ideal, likely due to her diet and supplement interventions during the months prior to this pregnancy. We held our breaths as the weeks passed and were thrilled when she reached her second trimester. I am still on a high from when I received her “Mazal tov! It’s a girl! Thank you!” text nine months later.

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"I bought a big black hanger and wrote Abba on a big sticker."

marriage secrets Out of Sight, Out of Mind Hidden Habits Holding You Back

Well Answered A Hurt Heart

Gardening Zzzzzs

Hakol Beseder Back to Basics

HAKOL BESEDER

A HAPPY AND HEALTHY HAVEN

Back to Basics

By Tziri Hershkovitz

One Stop, One Spot It’s been said that going back to basics strengthens our foundation, so let’s try it. As the kids go back to school, let’s get back to basics too—in this case, the origin of Hakol Beseder—and reacquaint ourselves with one of the simple premises behind the life-changing program.

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A Glimpse into the Past The following scenario might or might not be for illustrative purposes only. Let’s imagine I start clearing my kitchen counter, and I notice a hairbrush. The hairbrush, as you might have guessed, doesn’t belong in the kitchen but rather in the laundry room cabinet. So I head over to the laundry room, where I see that one of the kids left a single shoe behind. So now I grab the shoe and go to the kids’ room to return it to its place. But once there, I bump into the firetruck that belongs in the playroom. At the quick stop in the kids’ zone, I come face-to-face with the missing baby bottle, which now has me going to the kitchen sink, whereupon I notice that I am still up to nowhere with my kitchen counter—my initial intent! Can you relate? This approach, running around the home multiple times as we go from task to task, can keep us busy all day, without really accomplishing anything. Sure, we got a workout in there, but our true intention—a clean home—has not materialized. The counter is still cluttered, the playroom is still messy, and there are a myriad of other areas that were touched upon, but not completed. The most frustrating element is that we work harder—a lot harder—than we would have had we stayed in one room. And for all that work, we don’t even have much to show for it. The Tricks of the Trade This scenario prompted a rather uncomplicated solution, which was actually the catalyst for the entire Hakol Beseder program. It’s a simple rule that has transformed thousands of lives and propelled us headfirst into a world of enjoyable tips on joyous structure. The Hakol Beseder program consists of many elements; mostly popularly, we focus on routines, tools, and habits. “Tools” are essentially tips, but we like to refer to them as something more concrete, because despite their figurative form, the impact of these concepts is quite literal. In life, we sometimes encounter concepts we may find helpful. One doesn’t have to subscribe to an entire school of thought to recognize the virtue and value of an individual idea. If you find you may be assisted by a specific rule from the Hakol Beseder approach, it’s worthwhile to explore the possibility. You never do know, it just may lead to more. Tool: OSOS As we prepare for a new year and we’re all eager to learn and grow, allow me to introduce you to one of my all-

time favorite tools: One Stop, One Spot. The explanation is readily transparent in the name. One Stop, One Spot refers to completing a task in its entirety, prior to moving away from that area, so that the task doesn’t keep calling you back. This might mean cleaning up the bedroom before leaving it to start the day, clearing the table entirely before moving on to the dishes, or putting away all the laundry so that no loose pieces hang around to annoy you. In all those instances, it is a matter of completing your work—including those bothersome last few tasks at the end—so that you know you’re done and can move on. There’s another, more important way to employ this tool, and that’s for the scenario described above. Instead of collecting the bathtime laundry and throwing in a load in the laundry room, then grabbing the folded laundry on the way to the bedroom, then leaving piles on the side because the kiddos are still not in jammies, One Stop, One Spot is when we give our full focus to the task we decided on initially. We stop at that spot and do not move on until the task is completely done. If an item in the current spot belongs in another room, we just place it on

This approach can keep us busy all day, without really accomplishing anything. the side, and once the area is done we then put away the items that belong in another area. Once you master completing your tasks completely and not allowing yourself to get dragged away with any of the ever-present distractions, you’ll marvel at just how much you can accomplish and how much easier all the work is. That’s the basic, fundamental concept behind easy homemaking. As smart women, we work smarter, not harder. Tziri Hershkovitz is founder of Hakol Beseder and author of the book by the same name. She is passionate in her belief that Hashem designed this beautiful world to be enjoyed. Discover more on the free hotline, 347.772.1188, or visit www. HakolBeseder.org to sign up for the monthly newsletter, purchase the popular book, or register for Tziri’s life-altering workshops. Every woman is more than just a homemaker—and with the right tools and skills, she’ll discover the bliss that awaits.

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SEASONAL STUMPERS By Draizy Israel

r e b m e t Sep d e i f i l p m Si Googly Eyes Are the kids giving you a hard time about the healthy snacks in their lunch box? Try googly eyes! A pair of googly eyes makes anything fun. You don’t need to buy a snack in fancy packaging, just stick some eyes on your kid’s banana, juice box, or sandwich wrap instead and watch their faces light up.

Shanah Tovah Cards Rosh Hashanah is on the same date every year, yet the need for shanah tovah cards always seems to take us by surprise. This year, plan ahead. Doing the cards ahead of time allows the photos to be taken, the art to be colored, and the cards to be mailed to their grateful recipients.

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Love Notes Anecdotal evidence suggests that a little love letter in every lunch box is more likely to result in the lunch being eaten. This may or may not be true, but what has absolutely been proven is that the quantifiable oxytocin boost it gives your child—that virtual “hug”— will boost their confidence and aid them throughout the day. This can be especially beneficial for your kids as they adjust to their back-to-school schedule.

Kiddie Timers It’s amazing how motivational a simple countdown can be. You can use the microwave or oven timer, or even buy a dedicated timer. Setting a five-minute countdown for your kids will speed things along nicely—whether it’s for getting dressed, brushing their teeth, cleaning up after themselves, or taking out the negel vasser. Working with a timer will not only allow more to get done; it will train kids in the invaluable and lifelong skill of time management.

Write Their Routine Instead of feeling like a voice recording on repeat, try writing down your children’s morning school routine. Kids are actually really great at following a list if you give them one. Even more, kids feel secure when knowing what they need to do—and it boosts their confidence when they see a clear chart of what they’ve accomplished. As an added bonus, as Hakol Beseder teaches, once kids become familiar with their morning routine, it will start to happen on autopilot.

Tame the Overwhelm Feeling overwhelmed can have many causes, but seldom are the items on our list the actual cause for that drowning feeling. The overwhelmed feeling prevents us from functioning in our optimal capacity. We are likely to be more anxious, sensitive, disoriented, and exhausted. Though not well enough known, it is quite common to be deficient in magnesium and B vitamins, and even a borderline deficiency can lead to the aforementioned overwhelm. Talk to your healthcare provider about taking magnesium and B-complex supplements. You’ll be amazed at the difference.

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WELL ANSWERED

Well Asked—Well Answered Your Path to Clarity Begins Here By Vichna Belsky, BS, CLC

My mother and my oldest sister have always enjoyed a special relationship, and I’ve consistently felt like an afterthought. At times not invited, at times not greeted, often entirely forgotten. Most painful is when I talk to my sister, and she says, “I know. Mommy told me,” yet my mother shares nothing at all with me. Whenever I call, I feel like my mother can’t wait to get off the phone to go back to the other more interesting activities in her life. I’m grateful for my immediate family and great friends—and I know how much I matter to them. But despite promising myself I won’t let it get to me, it does. - A Hurting Heart

WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2024

Your query touches on a very deep and very real human need—the need to be loved and recognized. That need is unique to humans, and as much as this drive sometimes makes our lives complicated or difficult, it is this feeling that ultimately pushes us to improve ourselves and the world. Sadly, feeling left out and misunderstood is not a new thing. Looking back in Tanach, we see you standing in good company together with Yosef Hatzaddik, Dovid Hamelech, Chanah, and others. Beginning on Rosh Chodesh Elul, we say perek 27 of Tehillim daily at the end of davening. In this perek, Dovid Hamelech expresses the struggle he feels between his deep bitachon in Hashem and the very real challenges that lie behind him and in front of him. Born into a difficult family situation, Dovid’s childhood was far from idyllic. Rejected by his own father and scorned by his brothers, Dovid was sent out with the family’s sheep to far fields in the hope that a wild animal might kill him there and relieve the family of the burden of his presence. When Shmuel Hanavi comes to Yishai’s home to fulfill the nevuas Hashem to anoint the next king, Yishai lines up his seven older sons for Shmuel to meet, but none of them are a fit for the shemen hamishchah. Shmuel investigates and finds out about an eighth son, a scorned lad who has been sent out to the far fields. Nobody thought to invite Dovid in earlier, even to be a spectator. Nobody wanted him around. Dovid takes that pain and turns it to pleading for closeness to Hashem: “Ki avi ve’imi azavuni, vaHashem yaasfeini—Even when my mother and father abandon me, I know I can always rely on Hashem.” “Hareini Hashem darkecha—Teach me Your way,” he begs. Despite having so many foes trying to drive him into exile, Dovid wants to remain part of Hashem’s chosen people. “I know I am a beloved Jew, a child of Yours, Hashem, and no matter what outsiders say about me, I know You retain faith and love for me, and I want to hold on to that.” Dovid then ends off with two pesukim that are a rallying call for all of us. “Lulei he’amanti liros betuv Hashem be’eretz chaim—Had I not firmly believed in the goodness of Hashem…” He doesn’t finish the thought to describe what it would have been like without that strong emunah. A life without faith in Hashem is too horrible to even fathom or express. He can live without his family and friends. He can overcome his enemies both inside and out. But to live without Hashem—that’s unspeakable! “Kavei el Hashem,” Dovid ends the perek, “Hope to Hash-

em!” Nothing will entice him to let go of his hope in Hashem. He hopes, and even if his dreams shatter, he strengthens his heart and hopes again. Dovid’s life was filled with song and connection to Hashem, and each song holds uncountable treasures. Take this gift, especially now in the months of Elul and Tishrei, and allow its messages to settle in your heart.

Take this gift ... and allow its messages to settle in your heart. Besides the inner pain you feel, there seem to be practical difficulties in your relationships with your sister and mother. Is your sister aware of this situation? Does she know your mother is emotionally neglectful—even hurtful—to you? Is there any way you can delicately let her know how much it stings when she flaunts her relationship with your mother to you? Ultimately, you can’t change anyone but yourself. You can daven that your mother’s heart opens to you, but that is ultimately between her and herself. Nevertheless, those around her who are interested can change their actions to shift the dance. In terms of your mother, try to follow the words of Dovid Hamelech and turn to Hashem. Your mother may never change her view of you, and you may spend the rest of your life wondering if you matter to her. That’s an unfortunate aspect of a galus life. But remember that no matter what, you are always a beloved daughter of Hashem. Hashem arranges your history—your present and future—and sets a path for you to travel to reach your ultimate goal. When things hurt and there seems to be nothing you can do to change the facts on the ground, remind yourself that this is another task sent by Hashem for your soul’s refinement. May Hashem shower you with love and graciousness, with deep and meaningful relationships, and with the courage and strength to use all your challenges to purify your neshamah and grow into the most amazing you that you can be.

We'd love to hear your questions! Email info@wellspringmagazine.com, subject: Well Asked. Vichna Belsky, BS, CLC, founder of My Path – Bishvili, is a certified life coach. When she’s not giving neurographic art workshops, you may find her teaching her high school students, substituting in a local elementary school, reading anything that’s printed, writing an essay or poem, planning something special to uplift the women of Project Hope, guiding a parent dealing with 22q11.2 deletion syndrome, or singing with a Soul Singers group. She tries to limit the amount of time she spends gardening. Her kids sometimes wonder if her favorite thing is cleaning, but the truth is, she prefers high-quality chocolate. She can be reached at (914) 200-3676 www.MyPathBishvili.com MyPathBishvili@gmail.com

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MARITAL HEALTH

A healthy marriage is the foundation of a healthy home—and as with all things health related, awareness and education are requisites. Hearing from the experts in the trenches can provide us with keen insight and valuable tips to apply to floundering, functional, and even phenomenal marriages. Because when it comes to helpful information, even the most robust of relationships stand to gain.

Marriage Secrets

Because every marriage can grow and be better... Some aspects of life are predictable—and so are some people. As we get to know these individuals better, we become familiar with their quirks, be they pleasant or otherwise. Such is the nature of all relationships, and that is a good thing. Mostly. Isn’t it foolish, then, when we know that something entirely avoidable will soon be bothering us, we do nothing to prevent the irritation? No, not every annoyance can be circumvented. But why don’t we at least make an effort with those we know can easily be intercepted? Leah Richeimer, author of Marriage Secrets: A Woman’s Guide to Make Your Marriage Even Better, and our resident marital expert has a lot to

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say about getting over these daily mini hurdles. “Sometimes, due to exhaustion, frustration, or impatience,” Leah explains, “a husband or wife will say something that builds resentments instead of creating the atmosphere that they truly want, deep down.” Leah speaks about how our mesorah of shalom bayis has been lost and nobody seems to notice. “As wonderfully insular and protected as our families are, too many Yiddishe couples have fallen prey to secular attitudes in marriage,” Leah laments. “It’s hard to stay focused when the entire planet holds that having an equality-based marriage is the gold standard in a marriage. No one admits that equal-

ity-based marriage has been an abysmal failure. Equality in the workplace—I’m all for it. But Chazal teach us that equality is not the measure of success in the home; shalom is.” Leah says she’s on a mission to shift Klal Yisrael from an “equality-based” marriage back to a “Torah-based” marriage. “Hashem created us and knows exactly what we need, deep down inside, to be as fulfilled in our lives as possible. And our mesorah has all the gorgeous answers that far surpass anything in today’s popular culture!” In each issue, Wellspring explores with Leah a common mistake couples make, and based on her keen, expert insights, we bring you a solution to improve your marriage.

Big Blunder #2 The second biggest mistake couples make: They argue in the heat of the moment. “You will never catch a quarterback stopping in the middle of a game to tell a player why he’s wrong,” Leah asserts. “When you’re on the playing field, and the ‘unforgivable crime’ has just been committed by your husband, emotions run hot. The worst thing you can do is to dive in and try to solve the problem when the incident is still fresh and you are not your best self, or to start chastising when you haven’t yet had any time to plan what you’re going to say.” Simple solution: Preemptive communication. There are some issues that keep repeating themselves, which gives us the perfect opportunity to address them before they happen again. Here’s how it works: A well-meaning but absent-minded husband tosses his jacket and the daily mail on the dining room table. He’s come home from a long commute and is very tired. His wife has had a long day as well. After taking care of the kids, the homework, the food, and bathtime, she even had time to straighten up the dining room mess. When her husband throws everything on the dining room table, she is beside herself. “How thoughtless! How lacking in understanding can he possibly be? The coat closet is

just a few feet away!” On some level, she knows he’s not doing it to upset her, but after she has repeatedly told him that it bothers her, at this point, it almost feels like he is doing it intentionally. She tries to keep quiet and not get upset, but inevitably, she lets him have a piece of her mind. Solution: Preemptive communication. This scenario isn’t coming out of nowhere. Since he does it every day, it’s rather predictable. To prevent the habit from frustrating her, she needs to find a calm time when both are relaxed and brainstorm different ideas of how to alter the behavior comfortably. “There’s no space in the closet” can be resolved with some decluttering. “I have no time to go fishing for hangers” can be rectified with having an oversized dedicated hanger that no one else is allowed to use. The ideas are endless, and if suggested in a loving way, they won’t be perceived as criticism but as a solution to keep marital harmony in check. An important reminder here is to carefully plan your words ahead of time. Phrase your words kindly and positively. Speaking without carefully thinking it through risks making your husband feel defensive and will not give you the results you desire.

Leah suggests, “You might say, ‘I realize you come home exhausted every day, and I appreciate all that you do for me and the family. But after I’ve worked hard to keep the house tidy, can you see that it wouldn’t be the nicest feeling to have a jacket and mail making the room feel messy? I know it might be hard for you. I therefore bought a big black hanger and wrote Abba on a big sticker. I’ve already told the kids that it’s off-limits. Do you think it might be possible for you to put your jacket in the closet every night, and drop the mail into the basket I put on the closet floor?’ Something like that could work. Use your own words, of course, but this is the general idea. As you will see, when planning what you want to say beforehand, odds of success are much greater.” Be careful not to phrase the requests in a format that may be construed as nagging or patronizing. If the setting is right and the intent is truly to build the relationship—and not control it— the response will be’ezras Hashem be positive. Is there any habitual behavior that frequently gets you upset? Tonight, as evening settles over your home, prepare your spouse’s favorite drink and snack and plan your rendezvous. May it be with hatzlachah!

About the Expert Leah is the author of ArtScroll’s Marriage Secrets: A Woman’s Guide to Make Your Marriage Even Better, and her latest book, 21 Days to An Awesome Marriage, both based on 220 Torah sources. They were vetted by dozens of rabbis and rebbetzins and are laden with valuable insights. The books have reached a wide audience and bestselling status because they are super fun to read and pack a wallop of practical tools you can implement today. She is a full-time volunteer, and all her income and royalties are donated to the charity she and her husband started for shalom bayis education: The Marriage Campaign. Leah is also the host of The Ladies Talkshow with 300 free classes on TorahAnytime and on many other platforms. In addition to her other projects, Leah is passionate about her Marriage Secrets Coaching School, where she trains coaches around the world in this incredible avodas hakodesh via a coaching hotline. Women who want to teach and obtain a “PhD” in the Shalom Bayis Mesorah can join Leah’s Marriage Secrets Coaching School which also has a Marriage Secrets Master Class track for wives and mothers.

WELLSPRING / AV 5784

LET'S GROW by Mattie Steinberg

September There’s a surprising benefit to gardening. Though planting and pruning have been shown to ease stress, decrease negative thoughts, and imbue a sense of contentment and peace, new research shows that it can also improve sleep. In a review of survey results of more than 62,000 participants, researchers discovered that spending time in the garden each week led to a lower likelihood of sleep complaints. Gardeners reported lower incidences of insomnia, short sleep, and even daytime grogginess. The study concluded that this was due to the combination of time spent in nature along with the aerobic activity experienced during the act of gardening. Afraid you missed the window? You haven’t! There’s still much to do in the outdoors this month. In addition to the following tips, keep in mind that September is perhaps the best month of all to look at the garden critically, taking stock of its strengths and weaknesses, and making notes for the coming year. Now, when you still remember the disappointments and the joys, it’s time to learn from your mistakes and plan a better garden.

It is fascinating to see nature grow and adapt in Hashem's wondrous world. Sometimes, though, we just wish it wouldn’t do it that well. Weeds growing through the cracks in your patio are more impertinent than pretty. A safe and easy solution is to sprinkle baking soda and then sweep it into the cracks. Follow with the gardening hose to make sure the baking soda is absorbed. Ideal for younger weeds, the baking soda will weaken roots and make removal easy. It should also prevent regrowth.

Now is the time to limit next year’s weeds. Some species are actually easier to thwart in late summer and fall. The way we mow in fall and throughout the active growing season, and when we do our raking up, affects how many lawn weeds grow. Tackle tread marks, minimize weeds, and make sure to overseed now. (Overseeding is the process of spreading grass seed directly onto an existing lawn without removing or killing the existing grass. This popular technique can help improve the health and quality of your lawn.)

The time is now for saving tomato seeds. Choose the ripest, healthiest tomatoes of your favorite variety, cut the tomato in half, and squeeze the seeds and pulp into a glass or jar. Add some water and let the mixture sit for a couple of days—only the seeds that sink to the bottom are viable and can be removed. Rinse the seeds in cold water and then spread them out on a paper towel to dry. Once dry, store the seeds in a labeled paper envelope in a cool, dry place, such as a tin or sealed container.

In the northern part of the United States, late September or October is the best time to plant garlic cloves. This should be done at least two weeks before the first frost of the season and must be done before the ground freezes. Garlic grows best in loose, well-draining soil that is rich in nutrients. Dig to a depth of at least 8 inches and mix in organic fertilizer. Just before planting, gently separate the garlic heads into individual cloves, keeping as much of the papery covering intact as possible. Avoid damaging the flat bottom plates of the cloves, where the roots will grow. Plant the cloves 1–4 inches deep, with the flat side down and the pointed end facing up. Space the cloves 4–8 inches apart. Gently water to settle the soil, then cover the area with a very thick layer of mulch, such as grass, leaves, or straw.

Spinach seeds don’t like to germinate if the soil temperature is above 70°F. This cool-weather vegetable can therefore be planted in September for a late-fall or winter harvest. Either sown directly in the ground or in pots, the plants will likely need to be covered with fleece or cloches toward the end of the month.

Cover crops are plants that grow throught the fall and into the winter and help restore nutrients to your garden in the fall and early spring. One great option is legumes. Clover, soybeans, and hairy vetch have bacteria on their roots that can take nitrogen from the air and store it in the plant’s roots. This can help replenish nitrogen levels in your soil for another beautiful year of planting, be’ezras Hashem.

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5784

WALLET WELLNESS

Our mental and financial wellbeing are directly intertwined. In Wallet Wellness, we bring you practical and realistic financial advice and the menuchas hanefesh that comes along with it.

Financial Blind Spots Hidden Habits Holding You Back By Baruch Niebloom

Mindy had always prided herself on being financially savvy. She diligently paid her bills on time, saved for her children’s education, and avoided major debt. But despite her best efforts, she felt like she was treading water. Month after month, she found herself wondering why there was never quite enough left over. It wasn’t until she sat down to review her finances in detail that she realized her biggest problem wasn’t her budget—it was her blind spots. We all have them: those subtle, often unrecognized habits that chip away at our financial health. These financial blind spots might seem insignificant individually, but together, they can create a hidden drain on our long-term stability. The good news? By identifying and addressing these hidden habits, you can turn the tide and take control of your financial future. 68

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THE HIDDEN HABITS Your Spending Expresses Your Values Ever find yourself adding items to your cart just because they’re on sale, or buying that extra treat because “you deserve it”? Impulse buying is one of the most common financial blind spots, fueled by convenience, emotional triggers, and marketing tactics. These small, frequent purchases made on a whim often add up to hundreds or even thousands of dollars a year. Spending is more than just a financial transaction; it’s an expression of your values. The goal of financial awareness is to ensure that your spending truly reflects what matters most to you, rather than succumbing to fleeting desires. Solution: Clearly distinguish between needs and wants in your budget. Before buying, ask if the item is essential or discretionary. Implement a 24-hour rule for nonessential purchases, track spending habits, and make intentional choices that align with your long-term financial goals.

Subscription Overload: The Silent Budget Killer Monthly deliveries, streaming services, software—the list of monthly subscriptions can quickly get out of hand. Each one might seem affordable on its own, but collectively, they can drain your finances without you even noticing. Many of us sign up with good intentions but forget to reassess whether these services still serve our needs. Solution: Regularly review your subscriptions and cancel those you rarely use. Set calendar reminders to revisit each subscription every few months, ensuring you’re not paying for services you’ve forgotten about.

Sticking with Old Habits Loyalty to certain brands, services, or even financial products can cost you more than you realize. Whether it’s staying with the same insurance provider year after year or refusing to switch grocery stores, these habits can prevent you from exploring better, more cost-effective options. Solution: Don’t let loyalty blind you to better deals. Shop around annually for insurance, cell phone plans, and other services. Use price comparison

tools to ensure you’re getting the best value. Remember, companies often offer discounts or incentives to new customers—take advantage of these offers.

to low-cost broadly diversified index funds or negotiating better terms with your advisor.

Conclusion

Automatic payments can be a lifesaver, ensuring bills are paid on time without the hassle of manual transfers. However, if you’re not keeping track, it’s easy to forget about the little things that keep coming out of your account month after month. Solution: Schedule a quarterly “money date” with yourself and your spouse to review all automatic payments. Identify any services that are no longer necessary or that you can renegotiate for better rates. This practice keeps you actively engaged in your finances and helps eliminate unnecessary expenses.

Mindy’s story of working hard to stay afloat while unknowingly sabotaging her progress with hidden habits is all too familiar. Financial blind spots are part of being human, but they don’t have to hold you back. By taking a closer look at your spending habits, reevaluating where your money is going, and making small, intentional changes, you can regain control and build a more secure financial future. Remember, it’s not about perfection; it’s about awareness and taking proactive steps to make a difference. Start today by identifying one small habit you can change and watch how it transforms your financial landscape over time.

The Sneaky Drain on Your Wallet

ABOUT THE EXPERT

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

Whether it’s grabbing a coffee on the way to work, ordering takeout because you’re too tired to cook, or picking up snacks during an errand run, convenience spending is a major blind spot for many families. These small indulgences are easy to justify at the moment but often represent a significant portion of discretionary spending. Solution: Track your dining and convenience expenses for a month to see just how much these small purchases add up. Plan meals and snacks ahead of time and make it a habit to carry water and snacks from home. Establish “no-spend” days to challenge yourself and identify areas for improvement.

The Hidden Costs You Don’t See From ATM fees and late payment charges to bank service fees and investing fees, small fees can slowly erode your financial progress and potential for investment growth. These charges often go unnoticed because they appear minor, but their cumulative and compounding effect over time is substantial. Solution: Review your bank statements and credit card bills regularly, paying attention to fees. Opt for fee-free banking options and set up reminders to avoid late fees. If investment and management fees are eating into your returns, consider switching

Baruch Niebloom, a Baltimore resident, is a software engineer with ten years experience and is currently at Amazon’s AWS and the founder of frum.finance, a nonprofit organization focused on advancing financial literacy within the Orthodox Jewish community. Operating entirely on donations, frum.finance provides its services to all at no charge. Baruch founded the organization after recognizing many families lack access to financial guidance. Traditional financial planners often charge a percentage of assets, making their services inaccessible to many. Even those who have enough net worth to utilize financial planners often prefer the uniquely positioned, unbiased, and practical advice offered by frum.finance, free from any affiliations, kickbacks, or vested interests. The organization offers tailored financial education and support, including one-on-one financial consultations, online resources, and a supportive online platform of many hundreds of families. Emphasizing the importance of planning for future obligations like retirement, weddings, and tuition, the goal is to prevent placing undue financial burdens on the community or future generations. Baruch Niebloom can be reached at baruch@frum.finance or via WhatsApp at 240-424-5219.

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5784

MIND AND YOU

Some people don’t need an excuse for a game; they’re wise to the benefits and always up for a good time. Others might appreciate learning that playing logic games is not a waste of time. Our executive functions, the ability to control our own minds, aren’t innate. The ability to think logically is a valuable and necessary skill. It helps us solve problems, make rational decisions, and hopefully limit mistakes. When it comes to drawing smart conclusions, we sometimes take our abilities for granted. We shouldn’t. Like every skill set we develop, exercise is key. Logical puzzles exercise our thinking power and allow us to make better decisions. There are more benefits to playing games, and every month we introduce another facet of what we can gain. We also introduce a different game for you to explore.

Memorable Quote “Failure doesn’t mean the game is over, it means ‘try again with experience.’”

Found a favorite? Let us know! We’d love to hear from you.

—Len Schlesinger For September, we’re featuring the classic logic puzzle. Good luck!

LOGIC PUZZLE GRIDS This grid-based logic puzzle is comprised of a list of clues and a grid like the ones you see here. Your goal is to figure out each item’s matches using just the clues given and pure logical deduction.

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

START WITH THIS: Find out which boy is passionate about Tehillim. 1. Levi’s favorite is not Tehillim. 2. The oldest kid likes Shaar Habitachon. 3. Levi is not the youngest or the oldest boy. 4. Tuvya isn’t the oldest boy.

, , AM

Sh h tc ka un M

Reuven, Tzviki, and Shimon each went to a different shul on Yom Kippur. These shuls are Brisk, Munkatch, and Sassov. They are located on North Ave, South Ave, and Main Street, and davening starts at 9:00, 9:15, and 9:30 AM, but not necessarily in the respective order. From this information and the clues below, can you determine which shul each brother davened in, where the shul is located, and when davening starts?

ADVANCE TO THIS:

1. Shimon did not go to a shul on North or South Ave, but he started davening at 9:00 AM. 2. The Brisker Shul is not located on South Avenue. 3. Tzviki went to Munkatcher Shul. 4. Reuven went to the shul on South Ave at a later time than Tzviki. Answers for the Advanced game: Reuven davened in the Sassover Shtiebel on South Ave at 9:30 am. Tzviki davened in Munkatch on North Ave at 9:15 am. Shimon davened at Brisk on Main Street at 9:00 am. Answers for the Starter game: Tuvya is 12 and passionate about Tehillim. Levi is 13 and likes Gemara. Kalman is 14 and likes Shaar Habitachon. WELLSPRING / ELUL 5784

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

SEPTEMBER 2024 / ELUL 5784 / ISSUE 103

BACK TO SCHOOL BITES ENCORE: YOUR YOM TOV DISHES, UPGRADED

MY TABLE: BREAKING DOWN BREAKFAST

KITCHEN CURES TO IMPROVE FOCUS

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

Editor's Note

Dear Cooks,

When I saw this month’s recipes, I knew I had to ask for samples. I mean, what can beat chocolate? Other than chicken soup, of course—and this week we have both! Obviously, the chocolate comes first, no question about it. And since the bars and clusters are pareve, they come after as well. That’s the rule with chocolate. Especially at this time of year when we’re super busy settling back into school routine while getting ready for Yamim Tovim at the same time. Pick-me-ups are a must, and chocolate is supreme in that department.

everyone deserve a chance at chocolate?

We cooks are not the only ones in need of a pick-me-up. The kids may need an incentive to head back to their desks while the sunshine still beckons from outside. These treats are just the thing. They are sweet, healthy, and can be wrapped individually with small notes to help brighten your child’s day. And let’s not forget the older kids and adults, too. Even if they’re not heading to school desks, those at work desks deserve a worthwhile snack as well. Doesn’t

And of course, when you’re done cleaning up the kitchen after your cooking marathon, you know just what to treat yourself with. After all, somebody has to finish off the edges of the pans after you cut up the Bella’s Bars.

Meanwhile, at home, the cooks can start stocking the freezer for Rosh Hashanah and Sukkos. This month we feature both chicken soup and brisket, perennial favorites we never tire of—and that’s not a “royal we,” it’s a “communal we.” “We” Jewish cooks go together with chicken soup and brisket like I do with chocolate. There’s just never a wrong time for them when the quality is good. You’ll find that once again in this month’s recipes—rich in flavor and quality.

k e m E a Aviv

Contents 77

Back to School

SWAP

Kitchen Cures

84 Encore

My Table

By Yossi & Malky Levine By Yossi & Malky Levine By Yossi & Malky Levine

by Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD by Gitty Feldinger Wellspring Contributors

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5784

Back to School When send in

g our kids o ff to school, to know we it feels goo ’re sending d them with healthy sna options. In ck fact, with th e kiddos sp ending most their wakin g hours aw of ay from the ir loving ma we can alle mas, viate some of that mom making the my guilt by ir snacks fu n and perso nal with cu packaging te and little n otes. These recip es are even fun to crea te in a joint activity, inv olving the k ids in makin g them as w And if the m ell. ommy guilt persists, w covered. Th e’ve got you ese deliciou s treats are they work w not only for kids; ell as adult pick-me-up s to o. Both recipe s can be pre pped in adv batches an ance in big ger d kept in th e freezer. Good luck, Yossi and M alk

Recipes, Styling, and Photography by Yossi & Malky Levine

BACK TO SCHOOL

WELLSPRING / AUGUST 2024

bella's bars This recipe was shared with us by a family member; it was so delicious, we knew we’d need to feature it. Healthy, gooey bars that combine softness with rich, indulgent flavor. Perfect for a nutritious treat that doesn’t compromise on taste.

1 stick plant-based margarine (or vegan butter) 1 cup coconut sugar ½ cup light brown sugar 2 eggs 2 tsp vanilla extract 2 cups white spelt flour ½ tsp baking soda ½ tsp salt ½ cup cocoa nibs ½ cup white macadamia nuts, roughly chopped 1 cup chopped pecans, roughly chopped

Preheat oven to 350°F. Beat margarine and sugars until creamy. Add the rest of the ingredients, except the cocoa nibs and nuts, and mix well. Stir in nuts and chocolate. Transfer mixture to a lined 9”x13” pan. Bake for 30 minutes. It should be soft on the inside. Cool and slice into bars. For fun packaging, you can slide the bars into narrow cellophane bags. Staple a piece of cardstock paper to the top and add a personal message.

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5784

BACK TO SCHOOL

Magic Cookie Clusters You’ll want to keep a stash of these in your freezer. They are packed with nutrients and make a satisfying snack (that will keep you fuller longer.) Easy to make, easy to freeze, and easy to eat! You can play around with your favorite nuts. I happen to love this combination because almonds are great for curbing appetite, pecans pack energy, and cashews help aid digestion.

½ cup whole pecans ⅓ cup sliced almonds ⅓ cup whole unsalted cashews ⅓ cup coconut chip flakes (optional) 1 Tbsp + 1 tsp coconut oil 1 Tbsp maple syrup ¼ tsp cinnamon 2 (3.5 oz) bars semi-sweet dark chocolate Large pink sea salt flakes

Preheat oven to broil. Spread nuts out on a lined cookie sheet and toast for 3 minutes (optional). Transfer nuts to a large bowl and add coconut chips, 1 Tbsp coconut oil, maple syrup, and cinnamon, and mix until well combined. Melt the chocolate with 1 tsp coconut oil in a double boiler or in microwave in 30-second intervals until smooth. On a baking sheet, spoon out about ¼ cup of nut mixture at a time, pushing it together to form tight clusters. Pour the melted chocolate on top of each cluster until mostly coated. Sprinkle with pink sea salt flakes and place in freezer for 1 hour. Then take out and let thaw for a minute or two before biting in! Store in a freezer-tight container and pop out when you’re ready for the yummy treat. For fun packaging, place in individual bags, tie with a ribbon, and add a cute personalized tag.

WELLSPRING / IYAR 5784

SWAP

SWA P

By Yossi & Malky Levine

Homemade Corn Chips Skip the store-bought chips and opt for homemade corn chips. With just a few basic ingredients and your favorite seasonings, you can create a delicious, nutritious snack that’s both satisfying and free from artificial additives, making it a healthier, fresher option than store-bought varieties.

Why Homemade? • Homemade avoids the artificial additives, preservatives, and excessive sodium often found in store-bought chips. • You can choose healthier oils, such as olive or avocado oil, rather than the less healthy oils used in commercial chips. • Many store-bought chips contain trans fats or hydrogenated oils, which are linked to heart disease. Homemade chips can be made without these harmful fats. • Homemade versions are typically free from added sugars or sweeteners that might be present in store-bought varieties. • You can add nutritious ingredients, such as spices with antioxidants, or even fortify the chips with additional seeds or herbs for added health benefits.

6 corn tortillas

½ tsp thyme

1 tsp chili powder

¼ tsp garlic powder

½ tsp cumin

¼ tsp salt, to taste

½ tsp paprika

Olive oil spray

Preheat oven to 350°F. Stack the corn tortillas and cut into triangles. Spread out tortilla triangles on a lined baking sheet, without overlapping. In a small bowl, mix together chili powder, cumin, paprika, garlic powder, and salt. Lightly spray triangles with olive oil and sprinkle with spice mix. Bake in preheated oven for 10–12 minutes, checking regularly to prevent burning. Once done, remove chips from the oven and let them cool down. They’ll continue to crisp up as they cool down. Transfer chips to a serving dish and serve with your favorite salsa, guacamole, or dip. 82

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ENCORE Recipes, Styling, and Photography by Yossi & Malky Levine

Slow Cooker Brisket with Vegetables This main dish is so tender that it literally falls apart, and it will definitely please the meat-lovers in your family. With long, slow cooking the brisket takes on a rich, meaty flavor. And because it’s cooked in the slow cooker, it frees up oven time and space! This recipe works well with any fatty roast. 5 lb brisket salt and pepper, for seasoning 5 Tbsp olive oil, divided 1 large onion, sliced 15 mini red potatoes 5 carrots, chunked 3 cloves garlic, minced 2 Tbsp paprika 5 tsp monk fruit sugar 1 Tbsp salt ½ Tbsp pepper water, to cover

Pat meat dry with a paper towel and rub in salt and pepper all over it. In a large skillet, heat 2 Tbsp olive oil over high heat. Add brisket and sear on all sides. Set slow cooker to high and place 3 Tbsp olive oil and onions into the crock. Allow to cook for 30 minutes. Add the rest of vegetables and spices, and then the meat. Add water to cover to the slow cooker and turn setting to low. Cook for 5–6 hours (or overnight). Yield: 8-10 servings

ENCORE

Chicken-Vegetable Soup with Spaghetti Squash Topping This soup is a great way for even non-vegetable lovers to enjoy some nutrients. The chicken bones make for a very tasty broth, lending “body” to the soup. Think of it as a hearty chicken soup with spaghetti squash “lukshen.” 1 large onion, diced 3 medium carrots, chunked 3 celery sticks, sliced 3 cloves garlic, minced 1½ lb chicken bones 12 cups water ½ green pepper 1 Tbsp salt ½ tsp pepper Topping 2 spaghetti squash olive oil, for brushing salt, for sprinkling

Preheat oven to 425°F. In a large stockpot, place onion, carrots, celery, and garlic. Cover with lid and sweat the vegetables over low heat for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally, until softened. Place the chicken bones in a net bag and add it to the pot. Add water, green pepper, salt, and pepper and bring to a boil. Cook for 1 hour. Remove chicken bones and green pepper. Meanwhile, prepare the spaghetti squash topping. Cut the squash in half, brush with olive oil, sprinkle with salt, and place flesh-side down on a baking sheet. Bake for 45 minutes. Use a fork to shred the flesh of the squash to create “spaghetti.” Add spaghetti squash to the soup when serving. Yield: 10 servings

WELLBEING FEATURE ENCORE

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

Meatloaf Muffins How cute are these muffins? This appetizer is a fun take on meatloaf, and the sweet potato “frosting” complements the meat perfectly. Top with some chive “sprinkles” and you’ve got the whole cupcake thing going. Of course, the kids will love this too! 1½ lb ground beef

Sweet Potato Puree

1 Tbsp olive oil

2 medium sweet potatoes, cut into large cubes

1 small onion, diced 2–3 cloves garlic, minced 1 egg ½ cup whole wheat breadcrumbs ½ cup tomato paste ¼ cup agave 1 tsp onion powder ½ tsp salt

1 Tbsp olive or coconut oil 1 tsp monk fruit sugar 1 tsp salt Optional Toppings caramelized onions chopped chives

¼ tsp pepper Preheat oven to 350°F. In a frying pan, heat olive oil; add onion and sauté for 5 minutes until soft. Add garlic and sauté for 2–3 minutes. Place the ground beef in a large bowl and mix in the sautéed onion and garlic. Lightly whisk the egg and add to the mix. Add the breadcrumbs, tomato paste, agave, onion powder, salt, and pepper and mix until everything is thoroughly combined. Press the meat mixture into muffin tins (I used silicone ones and there was no need to grease them) and bake for 30 minutes. Let cool for a few minutes, then remove them from the muffin tins and place on a serving tray. For the sweet potato puree, place the sweet potato cubes in a medium pot and cover with water. Bring to a boil and cook for 12 minutes until fork-tender. Drain the water; add oil, monk fruit sugar, and salt; and use an immersion blender or potato masher to create a smooth puree. Allow to cool a little before putting mixture into a piping bag. To assemble, pipe rosettes of the sweet potato mixture onto the meat muffins and, if desired, top with some caramelized onions and chopped chives. Note: The meatloaf muffins can be frozen raw in muffin tins so you can prepare them in advance for Yom Tov. I recommend preparing the sweet potato and onions right before serving. Yield: 12 meat muffins

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5784

TIDBITS

Backto School With “back to school” fresh on our minds, the most important—and sometimes the most challenging—meal of the day is also on our radar. Below are some kid-friendly suggestions of breakfast options that can be eaten more relaxed at the kitchen table, or for your early risers or on the go.

BY ESTI ASHER, MS, RDN, LD Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD, is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Self-Care Enthusiast on a mission to help women reach their ultimate health and wellbeing potential inside and out. She shares credible, clear, and inspiring nutrition information with women via her virtual private practice. To contact Esti with feedback or inquiries regarding her nutritional services, please email her at: esti@estiashernutrition.com or visit estiashernutrition.com.

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

Scrambled eggs and toast (or bagel, wrap, etc.) Eggs are among the most versatile and budget-friendly protein options that exist. Pair the eggs of your child’s choice with a beneficial-for-your-body carbohydrate (think whole wheat, or any variety of bagel, wrap, or toast), and you have an excellent breakfast that will satisfy and energize the kids. Speaking of eggs, a great option is to make a batch of egg muffins that can easily be warmed up or prepare a large frittata at the beginning of the week that you can reheat or take from throughout the week. Not familiar with egg muffins? Simply prepare an egg mixture the way you would make an omelet, but instead of cooking on the stove, pour into muffin tins and bake for a pre-portioned, pre-cooked, ready-to-go egg option that can be stored in the fridge or freezer.

Waffles or pancakes

French toast sticks

(ideally paired with a protein)

Frozen (let’s be practical) or freshly made waffles or pancakes can be a great, kid-friendly, and delicious breakfast component. Ideally, I would recommend a whole grain or multigrain varieties, but in my humble opinion, a refined carbohydrate breakfast is better than no breakfast, so prepare whatever you or your kids will enjoy. Also, I always recommend including a protein of your choice. Ideas include cottage cheese, yogurt, a nut or seed butter, or even a slice of cheese or cheese stick.

To minimize waste and switch things up, I like the idea of serving French toast sticks as opposed to whole slices of French toast. The egg in the batter combined with the carbohydrate in the bread make this a balanced breakfast, in my opinion. As usual, always feel free to pair with a fruit as well. For mornings when you have extra time (teach me your secret!), you can make them fresh. If you’re aiming for practical, prepare and cook in advance, and keep in the fridge to heat up as needed.

Yogurt Parfait A favorite breakfast in our home is plain yogurt with chocolate chips, and sometimes an add-in of dried cranberries or fresh fruit as well. Yes, you heard me right—this dietitian will give her children a spoonful of chocolate chips to mix into their yogurt on a regular basis for breakfast. I noticed that there were certain kids who were opting out of breakfast, but this is one they were all interested in. It is simple, exciting, easy, and quick, and I’m much happier knowing my children start their day off with breakfast— even when it includes some chocolate chips.

Cereal and milk Yes—basic cereal and milk can be a delicious, nutritious and practical breakfast (or lunch or dinner…wink, wink). I recommend aiming for a healthier whole-grain option if possible. When comparing nutrition labels, try to choose a cereal with higher fiber and lower sugar. Of course, you can always throw in your own add-ins such as fresh or dried fruit to make it feel more exciting and add texture.

Smoothie Another great and easy option for when you’re on the go—if you have the right cups!—is a smoothie. Simply add any fresh or frozen fruits of choice (or vegetables if you’re adventurous) into a blender, in addition to a water, milk, or yogurt base, and blend. For added texture, feel free to include nuts, seeds, or nut/seed butter as well. WELLSPRING / ELUL 5784

KITCHEN CURES by Gitti Feldinger

K I T CC HU ER NE S Improved Focus

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

Avocado

Dark chocolate

Oily fish

The natural stimulants and antioxidants in dark chocolate improve blood flow to the brain. The stimulants, caffeine and theobromine, increase energy levels and boost concentration. Eating chocolate will also increase the body’s production of endorphins, which can improve your mood, and in turn, help you concentrate.

EPA and DHA are two of the omega3s found in fish oil, and DHA is the only fatty acid that can enter the brain in significant amounts. Omega-3, specifically DHA, is important for brain development in fetuses, and learning and memory in adults. Omega-3s may also help with cognition, neuronal preservation, and protection against neurodegeneration.

Avocados contain nutrients that can improve cognitive function. Among those nutrients are folate and vitamin K, which can help prevent blood clots in the brain and improve memory and concentration. In 2020, a 12week study in the University of Illinois found that adults who ate avocados daily had improved focus and attention. In 2021, a different study found that older adults who regularly ate avocados or guacamole had significantly better cognitive scores on all tests, including memory performance.

Leafy greens

Eggs Eggs can help improve concentration because they contain nutrients that support brain health. Egg yolks are a great source of choline, which the brain converts into a neurotransmitter that helps it communicate and regulate mood, memory, and mental function. Eggs also contain other nutrients, like omega-3 fatty acids, B6, B12, and folate, which are good for brain health and other body systems.

Blueberries Blueberries, too, can help improve concentration and focus. They contain a variety of antioxidants that can increase blood flow and oxygen to the brain, keeping the mind alert for up to five hours. Blueberries also contain flavonoids, which may improve memory, learning, and cognitive function, including reasoning, decisionmaking, verbal comprehension, and numerical ability.

Leafy greens are considered power foods that can help with cognitive function, including focus, memory, and decision-making. They contain antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals that can strengthen the brain and help it respond more quickly. Highest on the list are spinach and arugula. Spinach contains potassium, which helps neurons connect more quickly, making the brain more responsive, while arugula’s high level of nitrates increases blood flow and improves brain performance.

Green tea Green tea contains caffeine and L-theanine, which can work together to improve alertness and cognitive function. It’s also rich in antioxidants, which can help improve brain function and reduce the risk of cognitive decline. A 2020 study also suggested that green tea may be linked to a 64 percent lower chance of cognitive impairment in older adults. Other studies have shown that green tea can improve memory and attention, and activate working memory.

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5784

In the pages of Wellspring, we share expert advice from some of the community’s most popular and competent dietitians and nutritionists. In this column, you get to see how they practice what they preach in their own kitchens. Pull up a chair at “My Table” and join the chat.

Mornings run most smoothly when we have our plans down pat. What are some easy and healthy breakfasts you prepare for your family before a school day? Do “quick” and “nutritious” even go together?

Compiled by Tziri Hershkovitz

Laura Shammah, MS, RDN My kids leave at 7:00 a.m. Breakfast is never easy and smooth, but we do better if we prepare the night before. For example, one of my daughters likes smoothies so if we take out the blender the night before, lay out the cup, straw, and the ingredients she wants, it will happen quicker and more smoothly in the morning. Preparation is everything!

Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC My kids love homemade oatmeal on fall and winter mornings. I make this with almond or regular milk. I toast a half cup of steel-cut oats in a pot on high heat. Once toasted, I add in about a cup of milk, a splash of maple syrup, and a generous sprinkling of cinnamon. I then allow it to simmer for 2–3 minutes and voilà! You’ve got fast and filling oatmeal. For a special treat I sometimes add in a few chocolate chips and allow them to melt, which results in a creamy chocolate drizzle. This certainly is quick, nutritious, filling, and hearty!

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

Sheindy Ungar There’s nothing as hearty and satisfying as a warm bowl of oatmeal. To make it quicker, I make oatmeal bars or muffins.

Tanya Rosen, MS, CAI, CPT Quinoa Breakfast Cobbler

1 cup strawberries

Going back to school can be challenging for both parents and children. After a two-month hiatus, a different schedule, and lots of summertime excitement, things need to settle back to normal for the next ten months.

¾ cup diced mango

It starts with breakfast.

1 Tbsp honey

1 Tbsp peanut butter*

Mornings are rushed, but do try to encourage your child to eat breakfast. Even a quick bowl of a non-sugary cereal with lowfat milk, plus a fruit, is great.

¼ tsp ground cinnamon

The real key to a quick and healthy breakfast is preparation. Try to prepare breakfast options ahead of time to ensure a variety for your little ones to choose from.

1 Tbsp coconut oil, softened

Another great option is a nutritious smoothie. Here’s my personal favorite: ½ cup almond milk

⅛ avocado* Blend and enjoy! *Don’t let the fat content scare you. Natural fats are health promoting, especially for growing children.

Dr. Rachael Teichberg I love to make overnight oats in cups for the kids with fresh fruit and cocoa. These are easy to change up and great for gluten- or dairy-free. I make a batch and store them in plastic cups, so whether they want them warm or hot, it just takes a minute!

Check out these delicious recipes for the whole family. Easy, tasty, filling, and most importantly, nutritious!

Easy Overnight Oats

Oatmeal Breakfast Cookie

1 cup instant oats

Ingredients:

2 tsp chia seeds (optional; they’re full of fiber and taste a little nutty)

¼ cup oat flour

¼ tsp cinnamon

3 Tbsp unsweetened applesauce

Pinch of salt

1–2 tsp honey or agave syrup

1 cup any type of dairy or nondairy milk

1½ tsp reduced-fat peanut butter

½ tsp baking powder

Ingredients: 1 cup water ¼ cup quinoa, rinsed well ¼ cup applesauce

¼ tsp vanilla extract ¼ cup sliced almonds 1 Tbsp brown sugar

Instructions: Preheat oven to 350°F. In a small bowl, combine the first six ingredients. Spray a small baking dish with oil spray and transfer mixture. Cover and bake for 50 minutes. In another small bowl, combine almonds, brown sugar and coconut oil. Sprinkle over quinoa mixture. Bake uncovered until lightly browned, and keep baking for an additional 5–10 minutes. Allow to stand for 10 minutes before serving.

½ cup plain Greek yogurt or any yogurt 1 Tbsp honey (can use substitutes)

Instructions:

Toppings can include fresh fruit, cocoa, nuts, peanut butter, jam, cacao nibs.

Combine oat flour and baking powder in a microwave-safe bowl.

Mix well, place in plastic cups and add toppings, cover, and refrigerate overnight. All done! Healthy, easy, fun, and nutritious!

Add applesauce, honey, and peanut butter and stir until combined.

Makes 4 servings or two large ones.

Microwave for 1–2 minutes.

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5784

Chaya Tziry Retter, RDN, BS, CPT Quick and nutritious certainly do go together! I’m always prepping breakfast for my on-the-go chevrah. I usually have a batch of granola in my fridge. Pair that with a Greek yogurt and a stone fruit or banana and you’re all set. I always keep 12-oz clear cups with lids on hand and prep the yogurt and granola in a neat layer and slice the banana or fruit on top. If it looks good, it tastes better!

Kids heading off to a long day at school deserve a sunny sendoff. There’s no reason to turn the kitchen into a warzone though. Proper preparation means planning ahead to eliminate stress.

Otherwise, it’s tried-and-true cereal and milk for a quick sit-down meal. If I’m really ambitious, I’ll prepare a cottage cheese pancake recipe in the fridge the night before and stick it in the Betty Crocker before the littles are too hungry.

I like to make my spelt pancake batter (combine dry ingredients in a large, tall container; mix wet ingredients in a separate bowl; then add wet to the tall container and shake well to combine). I then store it in the fridge overnight. In the morning, I heat the Betty Crocker, and pancakes are done within minutes.

Granola recipe:

Spelt Pancakes

4 cups old-fashioned oats

1¾ cups spelt flour

2 cups mix of any nuts and seeds you like (I like almonds and sunflower seeds)

2 Tbsp sugar

½ cup honey or date syrup

¼ tsp salt

½ cup oil

1 egg, slightly beaten

Mix the ingredients and bake on 325°F for 45 minutes to an hour.

1½ cups (any) milk

Mix every 10 minutes to bake evenly.

Another kid favorite is chia seed pudding. The ratio is 2 tablespoons chia seeds to ½ cup milk, stir to combine and leave in the fridge overnight. Here especially, advance planning is key; after all, it takes time for the chia seeds to plump to perfection. Top with berries for a full and filling breakfast.

Enjoy!

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Our two quick go-to breakfasts contain 2–3 ingredients, take seconds to put together, and have increased breakfast consumption among certain kids who would otherwise happily go to school without eating anything (not ideal!). Also, while some may think it controversial to classify these breakfasts as “healthy,” I will explain my rationale. The options are either plain yogurt mixed with chocolate chips, or oats mixed with chocolate chips and milk. Sometimes a fruit (cut up fresh or dried) is also added into the mix. Now, I know chocolate chips contain sugar, but since the yogurt we use is plain (as opposed to sweetened with additional sugar) and the oats we use are not sweetened, plus my children are more likely to actually eat breakfast if it includes some chocolate chips (in moderation), I happily classify these breakfasts in the “healthy” food category. After all, this is a great example of how all foods fit into a healthy and balanced lifestyle—for both kids and adults. And you may be surprised at how a relatively small amount of chocolate chips can go a long way!

Tziri Hershkovitz

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

1 Tbsp baking powder

3 Tbsp oil

Yaffi Lvova, RDN Quick and nutritious can go together very well! It’s very hot here in Arizona, so we enjoy cold breakfasts. A favorite is a fruit and yogurt parfait— berries, bananas, yogurt, and cereal layered. You can prepare them for the kids, or just put out the ingredients and let them assemble their perfect parfaits. You can also add toasted coconut, toasted slivered almonds, or popped quinoa for texture and nutrition. Another easy option is a breakfast smoothie. Frozen ingredients can be bagged together ahead of time, so it’s just dump and blend while you sip your morning coffee. Add in ¼ block soft tofu for added protein and calcium or ½ an avocado for increased anti-inflammatory fat. If constipation is a concern, add in 1–2 tablespoons flax oil as well.

o t t Toas uzz b e h t

HOLISTIC

c i t s i l Ho

Emotional Health By Tziri Hershkovitz Every morning, as mothers wave farewell to their children heading off for school, there’s a tefillah in their hearts: “Please, Hashem, help my child succeed.” We daven that our children do well socially, scholastically, and spiritually. We want them to make friends, to feel accepted, to grow and develop. A key indicator for predicting success is healthy self-esteem. A child who feels comfortable and confident in their own skin will more easily make friends and is more likely to withstand peer pressure. They are also less likely to fall apart if they make a mistake. Some studies show that the level of confidence is a powerful predictor of academic achievement. It all sounds fine and good, but how does one give their insecure kid a sudden, magical boost of confidence if they don’t already have it? I’m so glad you asked. Personalities differ and indubitably there are some kids who are natural leaders, certain that the world is keen to serve them. Others are timid and scared of new experiences. And the rest of the children fall somewhere in between. Irrespective of their innate nature, every child deserves that boost to their mood and confidence. I am, of course, referring to oxytocin. Oxytocin is a chemical in our brain that has even had scientists go soft—they’ve dubbed it “the cuddle hormone.” This hormone has a host of benefits, from promoting healing, balancing out stress hormones, and aiding in social and emotional skills. It also plays a role in schooling by helping with brain development and improving memory and learning. Most relevant here is the boost of oxytocin, which makes the child feel good about themselves—the mood and confidence spurt we are looking for! We can get our oxytocin in a myriad of ways. Compliments make us feel warm all over, and being grateful to Hashem has us feeling enveloped in a Divine embrace; therefore, both complimenting and encouraging gratitude are handy tools and concepts to implement throughout your child’s day. But in the morning rush, as our children get ready to spend the bulk of their waking hours away from home, we’re looking for a multivitamin-style solution. And Hashem, in His incredible love for us, gave us just the tool. A hug. Human touch has tremendous power. From stroking your child’s cheek to a shoulder massage as you finish brushing their hair—or a back rub for the I’m-too-old-for-hugs kid—any human touch will release oxytocin. Feeling your love as they make their way into their day is the greatest gift you can give them. So give ’em a tight squeeze and quick compliment before they rush out the door. Then turn your eyes Upward, and fill your heart with gratitude for your incredible gifts. A dose of oxytocin is good for you, too. Tziri Hershkovitz is founder of Hakol Beseder and author of the book by the same name. She is passionate in her belief that Hashem designed this beautiful world to be enjoyed. Discover more on the free hotline, 347.772.1188, or visit www.HakolBeseder.org to sign up for the monthly newsletter, purchase the popular book, or register for Tziri’s life-altering workshops. Every woman is more than just a homemaker—and with the right tools and skills, she’ll discover the bliss that awaits.

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2024

Physical Health Adina Mintz, PA-C Let’s talk about two superpower nutrients: magnesium and vitamin B12. Over three hundred enzymes in the body require magnesium. Magnesium improves sleep regulation, heart function, and energy levels. Vitamin B12 assists with good cognitive functioning, DNA regulation, and blood-cell formation. Deficiencies in these nutrients can cause symptoms like poor sleep, low energy levels, and various psychological complications. If you’re experiencing unexplained symptoms like these, testing for nutrient deficiencies is a good place to start. However, standard lab tests are notoriously inaccurate in detecting micronutrients. The standard test for magnesium uses a blood sample, but only 1 percent of magnesium is actually stored in the blood. The majority is found in bones, cells, and tissue. It’s like going shopping for a dress at ShopRite—the test is in the wrong place. The standard test for B12 measures total levels in the blood and doesn’t differentiate between the “active” (useful) form of B12 and an “inactive” form. It’s like asking your son to count your spoons—and he instead counts every piece of silverware you own. That’s why, in my practice, I recommend various functional blood tests that provide an accurate and comprehensive picture, not only of the number of nutrients but also of how they are being used in the body. What if you discover a deficiency in either of these nutrients? First, examine your food intake, as we absorb vitamins more effectively through eating than supplementary pills. Good sources of magnesium include bananas, spinach, turkey, and meat. I often recommend a supplement (based on each patient’s lab results) in addition to this because soil is less magnesium-rich nowadays due to modern farming practices. Vitamin B12 is present in beef and chicken liver, salmon, dairy, and eggs. Speak to a practitioner trained in functional medicine who can help guide you in optimal food and supplement intake to see improvements in your symptoms. Adina Mintz, PA-C, is passionate about helping women feel their best—whatever their stage in life. Adina graduated as a PA from SUNY and received training at the Institute for Functional Medicine (IFM) and the American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine (A4M). With over 15 years of medical experience, she believes every woman can live a pain-free, energetic life, and would love to teach them how. Find out more by downloading her free guide “5 Small Changes with a Big Impact On Your Health” at njfunctionalmed.com

Spiritual Health By Rabbi Yehoshua Belsky, LMSW When thinking about “Elul”, many people feel a sense of anxiety and trepidation. The approaching season of teshuvah can evoke feelings of unease, even dread. However, the Torah offers a different perspective. In Parashas Ki Savo (28:47), the pasuk explains that the curses mentioned result from not serving Hashem “with joy and a good heart, when everything was abundant.” This teaches us that serving Hashem with joy brings blessings and deepens our connection to Him. But what is the essence of true joy? The Metzudas David on Mishlei (15:30) states, “Ein ha’olam simchah kehataras hasefeikos—The world has no joy like the resolution of doubts.” True simchah, or joy, comes from clarity: understanding our place in the world, our relationships with others, and most importantly, our relationship with Hashem. To achieve this clarity, we must turn toward Hashem and recognize all that He provides. When someone turns their back on another, it signals a refusal to acknowledge them. Teshuvah, on the other hand, means returning to Hashem, facing Him once again, and recognizing the abundance of goodness He bestows upon us. This renewed clarity in our relationship with Hashem brings a profound sense of joy, uplifting us during the teshuvah process. Rav Avigdor Miller zt”l points out that one might think the Yamim Nora’im should occur during the colder months, when we spend more time indoors and can focus better. However, they are situated at the end of the summer so we can appreciate the beauty Hashem has given us—the flowers, fruits, and pleasant weather. This experience should inspire a wave of happiness and gratitude, strengthening our bond with Hashem as we return to Him.

WELLSPRING / ELUL 5784

TAKE A BITE OF AN APPLE WITHOUT THE BITE.

Quench your thirst with a drink made entirely of cold-pressed Fuji apples.

NEW!