Wellspring Issue #68 by The Wellspring

EXPANDED

SUKKOS EDITION SEPTEMBER 2021 // TISHREI 5782 // ISSUE 68

THE HEALTH MAGAZINE FOR THE JEWISH FAMILY

5 strategies for maintaining long-term weight loss

Zelig Friedman of Tantzers ensures that every patient finds a reason to dance

What was wrong with our baby?

5 personal accounts

In the pursuit of better health, we left our familiar lives behind. In the temporary space “beneath the stars,” faith was our comfort. US $8.00 // CALIFORNIA $7.50 CANADA $8.99 // UK £5.50 EUROPE €6.50 // ISRAEL ₪24.9

FICTION BY ARIELLA SCHILLER

"Tammy. If I was on the grapefruit diet, would I have just eaten an entire Tupperware of lemon bars?"

‫והראנו בבנינו‬ ‫ושמחנו בתיקונו‬

‫א פרייליכן יום טוב!‬ ‫‪Get or Donate a tablet at‬‬ ‫‪917-999-0102 or visit WellTab.org‬‬

QUALITY CARE ON ALL FRONTS! for every child is a ‫פרי עץ הדר‬.

When only the highest standard will do, Rayim offers all-encompassing, child-centered care. Our vast array of services administered by a wide spectrum of select professionals will have you covered at every angle.

Only at Rayim!

We wish all our clients a chag sameach and a year full of blessing! Boro Park

Williamsburg

Orange County

Rockland County

4620 18th Ave. Brooklyn, NY 11204 718.946.7700

62 Rutledge St. #101 Brooklyn, NY 11249 718.946.7700

2 Van Buren Dr. #101 Monroe, NY 10950 845.782.7700

14-B Melnick Dr. Monsey, NY 10952 845.352.7700

www.rayim.org info@rayim.org Fax: 845.782.7800

Y O U R

M I D W E E K

B E C A M E

P L A N E

G E T A W A Y R I D E

J U S T

S H O R T E R .

Welcome to the Armon Hotel. Check into your room and check out of the honking and roaring of life, just for a moment. You’ll recharge here, and rediscover lost tranquility.

Luxuriate soon. Reservation dates opening shortly.

SHUL

BUSINESS CENTER

FITNESS CENTER

MIKVAH

FAMILY LOUNGE

SEPARATE SWIMMING HOURS

CHILDREN’S PLAYGROUND (coming soon)

HIGH-SPEED WIFI

An elevated kosher dining experience. Revel in the wonders of intricate flavors and exalt in the finer joys of life. Prava® is exquisite kosher dining situated within the Armon Hotel. Here is where decadent dishes are served, where culinary connoisseurs convene, and where good times live.

PARKING

Unwind. Breath. Revive. Bask in the ambiance of an upscale hotel, saunter into Prava® for a fine dining experience, and take advantage of the on-premises amenities.

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50 minutes from Monsey | 1 hr 10 min from Monroe | 1 hr 15 min from Five Towns | 1.5 hrs from Brooklyn | 2 hrs from Lakewood

Sunday and after school programs now open

BECAUSE SHE CAN! Welcome to Achievers, an innovative school dedicated to offering unique learning opportunities for girls with special needs. Through thoughtfully curated classes designed to enhance their artistic and social skills, every student is given the tools they need to succeed with confidence.

A Hamaspik Project

Programs: • • • • •

Dancersize Swimming Sewing Photography Ballet

• • • • •

Drama Hair Styling Music Nutrition And more...

For information and enrollment Call 718.387.8400 x 5265

Ensuring your loved one can continue living with dignity can be overwhelming at times. That’s why at Crown Home Care, everyone - from coordinators to administrators to C-level - is available to answer your home care questions. No red tape. No transfers. There’s a reason why our clients affectionately refer to us as “NYC’s homiest home care.”

Ptex Group

Call Crown

718.526.0313 1368 60th St, Brooklyn, NY 11219 Info@crowncareny.com crowncareny.com

Multilingual | Skilled Nursing | OT, PT, Speech | PCAs | HHAs

When it comes to celebrating Yom Tov, there’s no place like home. When it comes to home care, there’s truly no one like Crown.

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We stepped up. Like you do in your everyday life, we took the lead. Our engineers created advanced technology that transformed laser hair removal, and we continue on this mission every day, enhancing, improving, reﬁning. Where it matters, we step up. Because you’re worth it. We took responsibility. To give you the strength to continue dancing through life. To empower you to say yes with utter conﬁdence and no with full composure. To open a world where you can become the you of your dreams. White Orchid is the gold standard of laser. Our standard must be that high because you are the epitome of all we admire. You give to the people in your life, every minute of every day, without a moment’s thought, and you deserve the best. You deserve it all. We know this because we are you. We know the daily ins and out and ups and downs, and you know ours, too.

You know us because we know you.

‫אזמין לעזרה‬

Ezra welcomes you

Keeps up with ‫משה‬ physical therapy

‫• י ע נק‬

•‫ק‬

Completed an annual well visit

‫• יצח‬

•

•‫י‬

Came in for a COVID-19 test

‫א ב רמ י‬

Got his prescription update

• ‫• דו ד י‬

• ‫• יוסי‬

• ‫• ארי‬

Had his yearly eye exam

Has been doing speech therapy

Got his COVID-19 vaccine

1312 38th Street, Brooklyn, NY 11218 • 1278 60th Street, Brooklyn, NY 11219

718-686-7600 • EzraMedical.org

•

‫• מויש‬ •‫י‬

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An eye opening

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‫א פרייליכן יו“ט‬

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WE HAVE A DOCTOR FOR THAT

RE HA B

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No matter your medical needs, there’s an award winning doctor who will be right with you.

Jenny Hong, OT

atr Pedi ics

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diology Car

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matology D er

Ne u

Chaim Bruder, Speech

rology

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Apurva Patel MD

Yehuda Winzelberg, RPA-C

Leon Zacharowitz, MD

WILLIAMSBURG 445 Park Avenue

BORO PARK 4714 16th Avenue

718.963.0800

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Brooklyn, NY 11205

Entrance on 48th St

MILY A F

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Lyme Specialist

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INTERN

o En d Kimberly Hibbert, FNP

Ira Jaffe, DO

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ntal Health e M

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6010 Bay Parkway

718.475.1700

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Podiatry

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ology / Dia n i r b

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MEDICI

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Brooklyn, NY 11213

New York, NY 10029

We see health in everything ‫חג שמח‬ As the community’s premier healthcare center, your health is our obsession; providing the very best in expert care and a growing number of services. WILLIAMSBURG 445 Park Avenue

BORO PARK 4714 16th Avenue

BENSONHURST ParCare Quality First

718.963.0800

718.840.3535

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Brooklyn, NY 11205

Entrance on 48th St

6010 Bay Parkway

KIRYAS YOEL ParCare Rambam

CROWN HEIGHTS 1577 Fulton Street

UPPER EAST SIDE 301 East 99th Street

845.472.6226

718.925.2288

212.231.2044

Forest Corner Strelisk

Brooklyn, NY 11213

New York, NY 10029

There’s one place like home™

IT’S ALWAYS FAMILY TIME AT SEAGATE ‫חג‬ ‫שמח‬ Heimishe Doctor on promises • Beloved Rabbi • Heimish patient liaison • Chasidish hashgacha • Home-style gourmet meals • Minyanim • Inviting shul • Shabbos elevator

3 0 1 5 W E S T 2 9 T H S T R E E T B R O O K LY N N Y 1 1 2 2 4

718.266.5700

Our warm and heimish environment gives residents a taste of home, and makes them feel at home in our acclaimed center. Because home is where the family is. Chag Sameach from our family to yours!

S E A G AT E R E H A B . C O M

Bikur Cholim room operated by

Introducing: Sipuk

Sipuk is a mental health clinic devoted to the behavioral health needs of the community. Our passionate team is here to add meaning to the life of your loved ones with compassion and with the utmost of privacy.

info@sipuk.org • 718.400.9988

AGE IS JUST A NUMBER OUR 5-STAR SERVICE IS NOT

HDA Care proudly boasts decades of 5-star service on behalf of grateful patients and families. Our experienced home attendants and dedicated team go the extra mile to help our elders live their best life. 718.HDA.CARE (432-2273) • INFO@HDACARE.COM • WWW.HDACARE.COM • 12 HEYWARD STREET 4TH FLOOR BROOKLYN NY 11249

Only the best will do.

Sending a child to a long term facility is hard. You do thorough research to make sure that every detail matches up. Your standards are high and no aspect of your child’s care can be overlooked.

But there’s one thing that you want more than anything.

You want your child to be happy. You want to put a smile on their face and make them as comfortable as humanly possible under the circumstances.

We care for children

between the ages of Newborn-21

with the following medical conditions

Long term and short term care

You don’t want to rely on just the medical expertise. You want a compatible environment that respects and loves the life you live.

That’s Refuah’s mission.

To make sure that every child that comes through our doors is given not just stellar medical care, but is wrapped in an environment of warmth, love and connection to Yiddishkeit.

+ Critical Airway (Tracheotomy)

Mechanical Ventilator + Complex Seizure Disorders + Neuromuscular Diseases + Chromosomal Diseases + IV Therapy + Gastrostomy/Nasogastric Tube Feedings + Intellectual/ Developmental Disorders + Cardiac Diseases + Traumatic Brain Injury + Wound Care + Terminal Illness / Hospice Care + Peritoneal dialysis +

Under the leadership of Dr. Kenneth Lieberman, Chief Pediatric Nephrology at Hackensack University Medical Center

The Refuah Program at the Children’s Center Tailored to Frum Jewish Patients Program Director: Scott Weissman • • • • • • • • •

Halachic Medical Board Rabbi on Staff Kosher Food Menu Jewish Recreational Program Shabbos Accommodations for Family 24 Hour Refuah Concierge Yom Tov Events Shabbos Program Hebrew and Yiddish Speaking

A frum program for the kids at The Children’s Center of Phoenix nursing and rehabiltation

That warm-and-fuzzy Sukkah feeling? We have it all year.

You want your child in a facility that respects Yiddishkeit. Find out how The Refuah Program does that.

973.839.2119

1433 RINGWOOD AVE. HASKELL, NJ 07420

WWW.PHOENIXCRP.COM

T H E E S T H E R D E U T S C H B I R T H I N G C E N T E R @ R E F U A H H E A LT H

turning e e'r

Join us in celebrating our first year of amazing care for mothers and infants.

OUR OUR EXPERT EXPERT TEAM TEAM OFOF MIDWIVES MIDWIVES INCLUDE: INCLUDE: Catherine Catherine Cano, Cano, CNM CNM / Olive / Olive Crone, Crone, CNM CNM RNRN / Tonya / Tonya Singer, Singer, CNM, CNM, MSN MSN

Brynne Brynne Love, Love, CNM CNM / Stephanie / Stephanie Abraitis, Abraitis, CMCM / Eve / Eve Rosenstock, Rosenstock, CNM CNM / Nicole / Nicole Primoff, Primoff, CNM CNM

We deliver the Comfort of home The Birthing Center at RefuahHealth enables women to give birth in a private, relaxed and comfortable atmosphere. Our two luxurious suites are expertly designed with elegant, plush furniture including a private bath, to provide our mothers with all of the comforts of home.

My mothers found a safe and extremely comfortable place to labor at RefuahHealth’s birthing center. The birthing suites were not only beautiful, but they also made the entire family feel at home. The midwives were very confident and experienced. It’s been a true privilege to support laboring mothers at this amazing birthing center where doulas and the other support persons are not only welcome but encouraged to be active participants in the birthing experience. Malky Breuer, CD (DONA) Certified Doula & Hypno Birthing Malkybreuer@gmail.com

We deliver the Safety you trust. Our birthing center is staffed by accredited, licensed professional. Our experienced team of midwives has a proven track record of delivering babies naturally and safety. An army of RefuahHealth OB/GYNs provide support to our team of midwives, and our strong partnerships with area hospitals ensure a full continuum of care. Our birthing center meets all local, state and federal health, fire and safety regulations and is licensed by the New York State Department of Health.

We deliver the Care you expect. Our experienced team of midwives and nurses take your birthing experience to the next level. We’ve adopted the midwifery model of care and view pregnancy as a normal and natural part of life. As such, we focus on birthing naturally without invasive technology or procedures.

728 N. Main Street, Spring Valley, NY / 845.354.9305 / refuahhealth.org

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The King of Embroidery

COPY & RESEARCH

Editor In Chief Shiffy Friedman Deputy Editor Libby Silberman Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Bashy Halberstam, INHC Shaindy Oberlander, INHC Shira Savit, MA, MHC, CHC Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC Esther Fried, PFC Child Development Advisory Board Friedy Singer, OTR/L Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L Coordinating Editor Liba Solomon, CNWC Feature Editors Rochel Gordon • Rikki Samson Proofreaders Faige Badian • Meira Lawrence

FOOD CONTENT Food Editor Esther Frenkel Recipes Yossi & Malky Levine Charnie Kohn Elky Friedman Styling & Photography Malky Levine Charnie Kohn Pessi Piller ART & PRODUCTION Cover Design Aryeh Epstein Designer Rivky Schwartz Digital Media Rivkah Shanowitz ADVERTISING Executive Account Manager Goldy Kolman 718-412-3309 Ext.2 ads@wellspringmagazine.com SUBSCRIPTION 718-437-0761 subscribe@wellspringmagazine.com DISTRIBUTION Weekly Publications INC. 347-782-5588

WELLSPRING MAGAZINE: 718-412-3309 info@wellspringmagazine.com www.wellspringmagazine.com 670 Myrtle Ave. Suite 389 Brooklyn, NY 11205

The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.

Stuff yourself with stuffed cabbage. It’s all gonna melt away soon... Coming after Yom Tov

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

HEART.WORKS

Over 800 Food & Travel Episodes at your finger tips Download the all-new Kosher.com App.

EDITOR'S NOTE

Reap with Joy

s I write these words, the oasis of peace that envelops us on Yom Tov seems like a distant dream.

At the grocery store this morning, where I hurriedly pick out some produce for today’s lunch, I meet a friend. “Cooking for Yom Tov?” she innocently asks. In my mind, I’m thinking, I wish! As I pass by the beckoning pomegranates and crates of leeks on my way to the cashier, I remind myself, Soon, soon, Shiffy. We’re getting there. When the current deadlines will be a thing of the past, when the printer will be churning out page after page, the rewarding culmination of hours of work dating back to the early summer days, I’ll finally roll up my sleeves and head into one of my chill places: the kitchen. (While searching for a document in my computer the other day, a file titled Yom Tov Menu 2016 popped up. Curious as to its contents, I took a quick glance at what turned out to be a list replete with elaborate appetizers, mains, sides, and desserts that were mostly checked off. Because we all benefit from a good laugh, especially with taut pre-deadline nerves, I sent off the file to a fellow editor, who expressed surprise upon learning that the kitchen is one of my happy zones. “Why not?” I asserted. “I actually see the common thread it shares with my love for writing.” Besides that I find that cooking and baking ground me, kitchen work and writing are both vessels for creative expression, as well as a means of giving, offering an opportunity to invest ourselves in work that others will savor. I couldn’t help but notice another comical connection when, at the last minute, as we were putting the finishing touches on this expanded edition, I suddenly had this thought, Hold on, do we really have enough content? While most pieces were brainstormed, written, and submitted at the height of summer vacation, others made it in here in the nick of time. Isn’t that like the hostess who, when the guests are practically at the doorbell, flips through her cookbook in a desperate search for that recipe for “just one more side”?) For each of us, in our own way, we arrive to Sukkos and finally take that deep breath. We’ve made it! To actually sit and just be, reveling in the joy of quality time with family—in the sukkah, no less—is one of 32

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

those positive visions that keeps me going when things get hectic. One of my favorite Sukkos memories takes me back to early adolescence, when I’d lie comfortably on a mattress in our family sukkah on Yom Tov afternoon after a festive meal, surrounded by piles and piles of my favorite kind of Yom Tov delicacies—as much reading material as I could put my hands on. Ahh! The joy of finally living in the sukkah, breathing in its calm and welcoming aura, basking in this otherworldly something that embraces all who enter. It’s envisioning the calm after the storm that helps us get through tougher times. When I tell my husband that this is my technique for managing on days like today, he shares that this is actually the essence of Sukkos, chag ha’asif, the Yom Tov of ingathering. All year long, the farmers invested strenuous efforts into their crops. Starting in the early days of winter, they watched the tempestuous storms threaten to uproot the measly branches in their field, moving into spring and then summer, when the seedlings were still so vulnerable and fragile. What kept them going was the anticipatory visions of the upcoming chag ha’asif, and memories of the Sukkoses past, when they celebrated the ingathering of their harvest with so much pomp and ceremony that the joy of those moments were forever imprinted in their bones. It was the festivities of the Yom Tov that served as a reminder all year long: “Hazorim bedimah berinah yiktzoru.” Right, this moment may be challenging, but if you plant with tears, you will reap with joy.

olding on to memories of positive times and reliving them, also known as “savoring,” is actually a proven technique to getting through stressful patches. In fact, several of the panelists in this issue’s Mental Health Panel, a must-read column in Wellbeing, recommend this idea in their responses. Quoting her Holocaust-survivor mother, Mrs. Chani Juravel offers a wise perspective on this coping mechanism: “When I asked my mother how her family found happiness and hope in wartime, she said, ‘We knew that if the good times didn’t last, the bad times wouldn’t, either.’” When we’re in a difficult emotion, whether it’s stress or sadness, it’s hard for us to remember the good we

have in our lives. Emotion, after all, is the polar opposite of logic. When logic is at play, we can clearly see the, say, 80 percent revenue and 20 percent loss. But when we’re entrenched in an emotion, regardless of our circumstances, all we experience is 100 percent of that emotion; all we feel is 100 percent loss. It becomes arduous for us to see that percentage of good in our lives, which is certainly there. This is why, the sefarim tell us, Klal Yisrael celebrated chag ha’asif with such pomp—so that the joy of the harvest, what would be the culmination of a year of toil and arduous labor, became ingrained in their memory, a keepsake for those bleaker days.

n this expanded issue’s special theme section, we bring you five moving personal accounts of individuals who, in their quest for better health for their children, uprooted their lives and entered a “sukkah” of sorts. In all of them, you’ll notice the common thread: “It was our faith that kept us going.” They noticed how Hashem was holding their hand even when the circumstances were less than ideal, they noticed His little hugs along the way, and that egged them forward. One effective way for us to foster that faith within is this—to keep noticing the good we do have. “Lehagid baboker chasdecha,” the more we ingrain in our hearts and minds and remind ourselves of the good we have in our lives, “ve’emunascha baleilos,” the more emunah we pile up in our storehouse for the challenging “nights.” From “lehagid baboker” we draw founts of emunah that linger on. During the week of zeman simchaseinu, whether you’re reveling in family time, reading time, or being time (check out our two incredible articles on that!), you’ll be filling up your joy tank to last you through the year. May this be a healthy year of only simchos for you and yours.

WELL-PUT

n a m d e i r F y f Shif

Gut Yom Tov,

Sukkos is the only Yom Tov where we get a mitzvah while doing nothing—just to sit.

Shira Savit, “ On Becoming a Human Being” WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

Medicare for people like Kuppy. All his life, Kuppy has been brightening the days of fellow Yiden , bringing laughter, joy and pleasure with his amazing talents. Shouldn’t his golden years be lightened with similar enthusiasm and contentment? He needn’t stress-out over complicated medical plan options. He needs a simple Medicare solution, specifically suited for a heimishe Yid. He needs Hamaspik Medicare Select.

Get Medicare you understand from people who understand you.

Hamaspik.com | 1-833-426-2774 TTY/TTD Users Call: 711

Hamaspik Medicare Select is a Medicare Advantage and Prescription Drug Plan (HMO D-SNP) with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in Hamaspik Medicare Select depends on contract renewal. This information is not a complete description of benefits. For a complete list of covered services and other important information, review your Evidence of Coverage or call 833-426-2774. TTY users, please call 711.

The managed Medicare plan built for our community. Who is eligible? Individuals who qualify for Medicaid and Medicare part A and B in the State of New York, residing in a participating service area.

What is so special about Hamaspik Medicare Select? Hamaspik brings you a managed care provider that truly speaks your language, with empathetic individuals ready to support you through every step of the process—and beyond.

What are the major benefits of this plan? Hamaspik Medicare Select offers every service covered by Medicare, and more. Including doctor’s appointments and hospital visits. It also offers:

• Free over-the-counter health products at local pahmarcies. • Free eyeglasses and eye care. • Free access to local gyms. • Free emergency and urgent health care outside the USA. • Physical and occupational therapy. • And much more!

Are there any costs? All premiums, and many other services are $0!

H0034_HMSAD030921_M

CONTENTS

SEPTEMBER 2021 TISHREI 5782 ISSUE 68 Our next issue will appear on Wednesday, October 20th iy"H.

WELL INFORMED 44

Springboard

Spiritual Eating

Torah Wellspring

Health Updates

LIVING WELL 66

FYI

Insider

Fitness

Ask

105 Community

UPROOTED, REROUTED SPECIAL THEME SECTION

106 Dedicated to Health 112 Sample 122 Cup of Tea 144 The Functional Dietitian 149 DIY

By Wellspring Contributors

On that fateful night, our precious little girl was stricken with an aggressive, potentially fatal form of meningitis. Within a few hours, our previously healthy girl was battling death.

WELLBEING 152 Emotional Eating 154 Child Developement 170 To Live in the Sukkah 180 Marriage Tips

191

SEASONED

FAREWELL 227 Random INNER PARENTING WILL RETURN NEXT MONTH IY"H.

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

Hamaspik Launches Managed Medicare Plan for the Heimish Community After over two decades of outstanding care throughout New York, we really thought we knew all about Hamaspik’s scope of services. But now, the Hamaspik family has come forward with a Medicare plan that promises to change the face of healthcare management forever. Imagine having a health care plan—and care management—that is designed by people from within your local community. People who live, think, feel, and hope the way you do. The idea that someone could speak

A personalized plan that truly cares Whether you’re looking for general support or need care for a specific condition, Hamaspik has cultivated a health care plan that puts you first in every sense of the word. Hamaspik Medicare Select features an individualized approach to your health and the services you receive, so you can make the most of your retirement—supported by a team of healthcare representatives that genuinely care about your wellbeing. Hamaspik Medicare Select (HMO D-SNP) is a Medicare Advantage Special Needs Plan that serves dual-eligible (Medicare and Medicaid) individuals with all Medicare Part A and Part B covered services, prescription drug coverage, and a host of additional benefits—all with $0 premiums.

Extensive benefits with local access Through a network of highly skilled providers, members of Hamaspik Medicare Select are entitled to everything offered by traditional Medicare—and more. You can access medical professionals right in your own community—along with other personalized, essential healthcare services customized to your coverage, culture, and health concerns. Hamaspik Medicare Select offers a wide range of essential and enriching health services, including visits to primary care physicians and specialists; inpatient and outpatient hospital care, diagnostic tests, and therapeutic services/supplies; emergency and urgent care; mental health services (inpatient and outpatient); physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech/language pathology; over-the-counter health items and Part D prescription drugs; vision benefits (including eye exams and eyeglasses); fitness benefits; and acupuncture. Through this plan, Hamaspik can also bring that same top-quality care straight to your door, with coverage on telehealth appointments, a 24-hour nurse hotline, durable medical equipment, and more.

Premium services built with you in mind By far, Hamaspik’s greatest feature is the outstanding customer service. Just like those you know and love at Hamaspik centers, each Hamaspik family staff member is 100% focused on you and your needs—with special consideration given for cultural and linguistic differences. Hamaspik makes a point to never employ impersonal sales reps or unconcerned service departments—just experienced staff who are ready to help. Each member is entitled to comprehensive coverage, seamless case management, experienced care coordination, and top-notch providers. In addition, the Hamaspik team is specifically trained for courtesy and cultural sensitivity in every aspect of care. Here, every appointment gets a personal touch.

Easy enrollment designed to overcome cultural barriers

to their care manager in their native language, or talk freely with them about needing transportation to shul, would seem unattainable 5 years ago—but not anymore. Now, we have Hamaspik Medicare Select: the first step to attaining more culturally sensitive healthcare service for all. Intrigued? Here’s more information about how Hamaspik is working to better connect care with life for local communities:

Once you’re ready to enroll, your Hamaspik Enrollment Specialist helps you sign up for and coordinate your coverage exactly how you need it, so you can focus on living your best life. From first call to first appointment, there are no hoops to jump through and no barriers to worry about—just above-and-beyond care and a team that welcomes you like family.

Maximum savings for any budget With Hamaspik, the road to your best life is paved with benefits. OTC medicine, eyeglasses, physical therapy, fitness memberships, telehealth—it’s all covered. No matter what your individual needs or which community you hail from, you’ll pay less on plan premiums, copays, preventative health, outpatient services, and emergency care. Need we say more?

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Your health, your choice, your advantage If you’re ready to make Hamaspik part of your mishpocheh, you might be wondering how you can get your own Care covered™. Thankfully, we’ve taken care of that too. To find the perfect fit, contact Hamaspik today.

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It can be so overwhelming trying to find care and coverage—especially if you’re struggling with cultural or language differences that make understanding the process a mess. Thankfully, Hamaspik makes the process, and finding out if you qualify, seamlessly simplified: Hamaspik Medicare Select members must be entitled to Medicare Part A and B; eligible for Medicaid benefits in the State of New York; and currently reside in a participating service area.

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CONTENTS

160 ON CULTIVATING SIMCHAH MENTAL HEALTH PANEL Moderated by Shiffy Friedman In general, I don’t feel happy. Even when I do, it’s usually not long before I feel “down and out” again. What’s one powerful piece of advice you’ve found to be instrumental in increasing happiness?

WEDNESDAY FICTION By Ariella Schiller “Tammy. If I was on the grapefruit diet, would I have just eaten an entire Tupperware of lemon bars?” Besides, that diet was so pre-baby. And gave me insane heartburn. Although not as bad as when I ate those Optavia bars.

134

80 WHAT SUKKOS CAN TEACH US By Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Change of scenery can shift our perspective. Have you ever had the same health goals year after year, while feeling a burden or roadblock preventing you from succeeding? I have!

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CONTENTS

200

APPLE/PEAR FRANGIPANE TARTLETS By Yossi & Malky Levine There’s a special thrill in making desserts that are beautiful, delicious, and use healthy ingredients. These tartlets are just that! You can use either apples or pears for the sliced fruit.

146 COMPASS

NEW SERIAL DIARY As told to Libby Silberman by Dina Lieber My mother came to visit when Lana was one week old, and only months later shared that she’d left with a “pit in her stomach,” realizing that something was off but unable to put her finger on it.

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

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On Candida Prevention, Lasting Commitments, Feeding Habits, and More

Borscht for Candida Issue #67: FYI

I was excited to see that you covered the topic of candida, a driving force behind a huge percentage of modern-day ills. The most important cure, which prevented candida until recent generations, is naturally fermented foods, specifically borscht. Probiotics are helpful, but most are killed by the stomach acid. Naturally fermented foods are full of lactic acid, which preserves the probiotics until they get to where they are needed— in the small intestine. Even coated tablets are not anywhere close to a fermented food—there is a much 44

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

greater biodiversity in borscht, as well as multiple other benefits. To read my full published story, which generated tremendous awareness and response, I can be reached through Wellspring. Gitty Gold

Commitments That Last Issue #67: Wellbeing Feature

Thank you for an all-around fantastic publication that touches

upon every aspect of health and wellness that is relevant to a frum Yid. I especially appreciate that the Wellbeing features explore critical topics from a true Torah lens, while providing deep insights about our rich emotional world. Regarding the subject of commitments, I have found that the commitments that involve a sacrifice are most likely to last. If you commit to saying something or doing something good every day, you can easily forget or not get to it. But, if you give a korban—i.e., make a change in the way you do something or give something up—like changing an aspect of tzniyus, stop eating a certain food, or remove the Internet

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Question: My six-month-old baby who weighed 7 lbs at birth recently weighed in at 10 lbs, which alarmed the pediatrician. When my son was two months old and I noticed that he wasn’t gaining weight, I tried to supplement my milk with formula. However, he ended up spitting up most of each bottle feeding. Reflux medication did not help. He is currently nursing well but it doesn’t seem to be enough. Do you have any suggestions?

Answer: First, be aware that this is a common issue, and you’re not the only one struggling with it. It’s possible that your baby is allergic to dairy and soy. I would suggest you try to supplement with Neocate, starting with 1 oz at a time, not a full feeding. I actually had this issue with my own child many years ago. I went to see Dr. Meislin, a veteran pediatrician with lots of experience at NYU. He advised me to start solid foods. I gave rice cereal and freshly cooked sweet potatoes and pears and saw immediate positive results. The baby did not vomit; he gained weight and developed beautifully. I would suggest you start with one food at a time and wait three days before starting the next to make sure your baby takes it well. To your health, Miriam Schweid, health consultant and kinesiologist

or add a filter, that is more likely to lead to a lasting change.

would advise me to do “anything in the world” to distract him, and that would do the trick to get food down his throat.

eating process and that I’m raising a more mindful eater, with the help of Hashem. E. Paretzky

Issue #67: Cover Feature

Some suggested I read him books— keep a bookcase right near his high chair!—in order to achieve that goal. For a while, I tried that. Of course, my son loved the stories, but it didn’t help one bit with his eating. Even when he did eat, I didn’t feel comfortable that it was being done “behind his back.”

Thanks to Sarah Fraser for an enlightening article on managing mealtimes and fostering better eating habits in ourselves and our kids. Whenever I’d tell people that my toddler son doesn’t eat well, they

I have since started allowing him to eat on his own, which, as Sarah notes, definitely makes for more messes, but I’m here to report that he’s doing much better. He definitely has foods he likes and foods he doesn’t, but I appreciate that he’s involved in his

With much appreciation, Rivka P.

Books Were Not the Solution

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

Lakewood, New Jersey

What’s the Secret? Issue #67: Updates

As a card-carrying member of the middle-aged group, I was excited to read the latest research pertaining to my population. Now that I’ve learned that weight loss is just as doable at my time of life as any other, I’d like to know if the researchers have any

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Question:

My kids get so many sweets at shul on Shabbos and Yom Tov. What can I do?

Answer: First things first, don’t tell the kids not to eat candy. Putting the responsibility of restricting food on a young child just isn’t age appropriate. Also, limiting candy for your kids while they are surrounded by other kids enjoying it will likely lead to resentment. Allowing them access will teach them how to self-regulate. You know how you know to stop your car for a pedestrian, even when there’s no light or stop sign? Just like that, kids know when they’re full. If candy is off-limits at home, the child is more likely to eat a lot when it’s available. In a family where kids have regular access to sweets, they see it in a more neutral way. They know how to selfregulate. Still having an issue with the sheer amount of sweets? Speak with the person in charge, privately. Ask if they would mind handing out less “junky” treats, small prizes, or if a limit can be set on how much each child receives. If practical, perhaps offer to provide a healthier alternative. This can be a great, healthy way for kids to enjoy the shul experience together. Health & happiness, Yaffi Lvova, RDN Yaffi Lvova, RDN, is a dietitian and food enjoyment activist who encourages positive nutrition through writing, speaking, and Nap Time Nutrition, her video blog and podcast. Find out more at babybloomnutrition.com.

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

Pediatric Nutrition

SPRINGBOARD

secrets that work for any age, especially for the food lovers among us who can’t stop themselves from churning out one babka after another. With much appreciation for a fabulous magazine, Sorah H. Baltimore, Maryland

On the Trail Issue #67: Tidbits

Registered dietitian Esti Asher’s Tidbits column has quickly become a favorite around here. I love how she offers ideas that can be easily incorporated into our diet, along with relevant health info. Now that school has resumed on our side of the world, I’ve been preparing lots of trail mixes for the kids—and they’re really enjoying them. My son reported that he’s been dunking it in milk at lunchtime and everyone wants to know, “What are all those good stuff in your cereal?” My daughter was experimenting with her mix one morning and she added some corn nuts. It made for a great, crunchy addition, so I thought I’d share with your fellow readers. Many thanks, Tziporah J. Far Rockaway, Queens

The Power of a Compliment Issue #67: Sample

I found Libby Silberman’s latest Sample installment fascinating. Though I did take issue with Morah B.’s experiment (did all of these children consent to be treated unfairly for an entire week?), the results are something to keep front and center of our attention at all times. As a longtime preschool morah, I’ve seen time and again how effective a good word is for every child. I’ve made it

Hair-Loss Solution After reading in Wellspring a while back about a hair-loss solution, I decided to try the protocol for my teenager's bald spots, which I was afraid were due to alopecia. We used the Myrtle Spray and Lavenluv shampoo and saw great results in about 6–8 weeks, when the hair started growing in. (An experienced hair stylist recommended that a blow-dryer should not be used during this time.) L. D.

Gut gebentcht yahr, P. Landa Monsey, New York

How I Get My Kids to Eat Their Veggies Issue #67: Cover Feature

I've implemented some of Sarah Fraser’s excellent tips on fostering healthier eating habits in kids and have seen amazing results in the span of a few weeks. Another tip I would like to add is that instead of

hiding the “undesirable” food under the “desirable” food in the hopes to “smuggle” it in, I started talking to my children about the foods they’re eating, i.e. how they grow, which vitamins they contain, and how the digestive system will process the nutrients. I’ve also been demonstrating how various vegetables resemble the organs that they provide unique nutrition for. For example, a carrot slice resembles the eye, a tomato resembles the four chambers of the heart, and a mushroom resembles the ear. They’re not only fascinated; they also feel like important decision makers in their own growth and development. Suppertime has become a mindful yet relaxed affair, my kids are eating their veggies, and the best part is that they’re learning about science and nutrition at the same time. Keep up your wonderful work!

Get in touch! Wellspring invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@wellspringmagazine.com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.

C. Markstein Monsey, New York

Any health information, advice, or suggestions published here are the opinion of the letter writer and are not independently investigated, endorsed, or validated by Wellspring. Always seek the advice of a qualified health professional or medical practitioner regarding any medical advice, condition, or treatment.

Public Service Announcement

my business to keep track of every child on what I call my “compliment list” to ensure I don’t miss out on any student on any day. I make sure that by the end of the day, everyone has at least one check near this name. This not only helps them feel better, but it also ensures that I seek the positive in each of these precious children who’ve been entrusted in my care.

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

SPIRITUAL EATING By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

What’s Wrong With Just One Little Piece?

Bereishis (4:7) states “Lepesach chatos rovaitz, sin crouches at the entrance.” In parshas Bereishis, we read of the sacrifices Kayin and Hevel brought to Hashem. Hevel’s was accepted but Kayin’s was rejected, leaving him feeling saddened and angry.

This is recounted in Bereishis 4:6–7: “Hashem said to Kayin, ‘Why are you annoyed, and why are you depressed? Would it not be that if you improve you will surely be forgiven? But if you do not improve, sin crouches at the entrance. Its yearning is for you, but you still have the ability to rise over it.” Tragically, Kayin failed to heed Hashem’s counsel, and subsequently killed his brother. In this episode, the Torah teaches us an incredibly powerful lesson, as well as insight into the human condition. We all have the power to do teshuvah and change our behaviors — no matter how hard it might seem. If we don’t, our yetzer hara will always be lurking in the shadows, waiting for the possibility to pounce — “sin crouches at the entrance.” Among the explanations the Kli Yakar offers for this phrase is that the yetzer hara waits for the smallest opening in the doorway, the slightest hole in the fence, to break open and rush through. As the Gemara in Sukkah (26a) says, “The breach calls to the thief.” A robber is most often a creature of opportunity. He’s looking for an unlocked car door, a slightly open window — any chance

he can find to exploit. But if he sees a well-lit yard with secure locks and no easy entry, he’ll quickly move on to the next house. So it is with our yetzer hara. It’s easy for us to let our defenses down, to slack off with our diligence and determination to do the right thing — to make the right choice. We’ll often rationalize to ourselves, “What’s wrong with just one little piece? It’s okay, everyone else is having it. This time, I’ll make sure to eat only one.” For many people, one piece of this or that is a harmless treat. It ends with just one. For others, however, it’s the opening to another binge and extended outburst with food that only ends with remorse, regret, and an expanded waistline. And it starts with the most innocent of questions, “What’s wrong with just one little piece?” If you’ve already experienced the repercussions of “just one little piece,” you’re best off keeping your doors locked. This will keep you safe, secure, happy and healthy — and free from that yetzer hara crouching on the other side.

Rabbi Eli Glaser is the founder and Director of Soveya. He is certified as a Nutrition/Wellness Consultant and Weight Management Specialist, with 25 years of coaching and counseling experience, and is maintaining a 130-pound weight loss for more than 16 years. Soveya has offices in Lakewood and Brooklyn, and works with clients via phone and Skype around the world. For more information or to make an appointment, contact Soveya at 732-578-8800, info@ soveya.com, or www.soveya.com.

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

TORAH WELLSPRING By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

Joy in the Burden

Isn’t that the greatest paradox of all?

While Hakadosh Baruch Hu showers us with simchah during every Yom Tov, the repeat references in the Torah of simchah in relation to Sukkos indicate that at this time of year, the happiness we experience is exponentially greater. What is the joy inherent in the Yom Tov of Sukkos and how can we tap into it now and all year? 52

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

The sefarim note that essentially, it’s the simchah of kabbalas ol, accepting the yoke of Hakadosh Baruch Hu’s kingship, that generates such ripples of joy for us. It’s the joy that emanates from coronating Hashem as king on Rosh Hashanah that seeps into a Yid’s bones and reverberates in his heart throughout the season. How does that make sense? we might wonder. What’s the great joy in proclaiming that we hereby accept the yoke of our King’s leadership, and are

choosing to be compliant with His wishes? Doesn’t the thought of carrying the burden of subservience elicit annoyance and a feeling of suffocation? Okay, if we’re commanded to follow His edict, we will, but what’s the great joy in that? And why is it the “great joy” that’s attained on Sukkos? To understand the joy of kabbalas ol, let’s discuss the climate of our current world. The general atmosphere in the world we live in today is one that aims toward freedom and autonomy. It’s all about being free to make our own choices and not needing to answer to anyone or anything. While this culture enables us to practice Yiddishkeit openly and in freedom baruch Hashem, unlike in times of communism and fascism, for example, is such an environment actually beneficial for mankind? In other words, does leading a burden-free life truly allow for more joy and fulfillment? Safe and Secure Looking back at world history, we can deduce our answer. If we go back in time to when kings ruled their kingdoms effectively, with compassionate yet powerful leadership, we can see that ultimately, the hierarchy system was beneficial to all parties involved. Citizens thrived in a system that provided structure and guidelines, because these are the basic requirements for meeting our human need for stability and security. In order for an individual to lead a tranquil life, to sleep well at night, to focus on his work, he needs to know there’s a system in place to ensure his safety. He needs to know that burglars won’t show up to ransack his home and that he and his family are safe and protected from other perpetrators of crime. As we learn in the Mishnah: “Pray for the peace of

the kingdom because if not for them, one would swallow his friend alive” (Avos 3:2). This is one of our most prevalent needs: the requirement for stability and security in our day-today lives. In every civilization since history was first recorded, a powerful king or leader ruled over his constituents; this was always the established system. While the efficacy of the system may have been heavily impacted by the intentions of each individual leader—and ruthless or ineffective authority figures would certainly generate unease and instability among their townsmen—the world in general was less riddled by anxiety and other conditions of the nefesh. So much fear and so much lack of focus can be prevented when guidelines are clear, when boundaries are established, and when the rules are indisputable. As hard as it may be for millennials to admit it (and in a moment of honesty, most will do so), the democratic approach, currently veering toward liberalism, has wrought more havoc than good to the world at large. Hashkafic ramifications aside, the feelings of insecurity and unease elicited by this approach are devastating to society, robbing people of their basic human need for order and authority. Why Choose Democracy? If the democratic approach is so detrimental to mankind, why do we find the majority of the population seeking to free themselves of any sense of dominance, any type of enforced leadership? Why is the goal autonomy and full-fledged “freedom”? Primarily, it’s because of how effective leadership has faltered over time. When a king ruled effectively, while it required the constituents to be law-abiding and loyal to their ruler, they appreciated the benefits

they reaped. People appreciated the value of being subservient to a higher power because they were aware of the security and stability they experienced as a result. However, once leadership turned ineffective, with authority figures abusing their power and the hierarchy system denying people their stability instead of ensuring it, the people revolted with a passionate antagonism. If we can’t draw our stability from your leadership, was their message, what do we need your throne for? While the world at large had enough of corrupt leadership and thus gradually rebelled against a system of rigid law and order, thinking they were moving forward to better times, part of what was lost to them was the stability they essentially craved and needed for both their physical and emotional sustenance. Even the most die-hard liberal understands the need for a leadership system, but because of past abuse of power, the individuals want to be the ones to choose their leadership. And so it is that we’re torn between wanting more authority, then less, vacillating between the two. All this time, none of the governing systems that have been instituted provide for our needs the way ideal authority did. Torah’s Wisdom In the Torah, we find stunning evidence of both the human need for authority and the importance of the leader ruling with the right intentions. In Parashas Shoftim (Devarim 17:14–20), the Torah tells of the time when the Yidden will enter Eretz Yisrael and proclaim they want a king, just like all the nations around them. From here we understand that the Torah acknowledges the human need for authority,

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

TORAH WELLSPRING

foreseeing that the Yidden will one day request it. In its exquisite wisdom, the Torah proceeds to delineate the precise characteristics of that ideal king: he shouldn’t own too many horses, have too many wives, or acquire too much silver and gold for himself. At the conclusion of the perek, the Torah establishes the purpose of these regulations: “So that his heart will not be haughty over his brothers.” The Torah expected the king to be a powerful, mighty figure, playing a central role in Klal Yisrael, but at the same time, it also cautioned against abuse of power and self-aggrandizement. The entire purpose of the king’s authoritative role was for him to be there for the nation; it was never to become an ego-driven dictator.

The general

For years after the Yidden entered Eretz Yisrael, they had no king. When Shmuel HaNavi approached old age, the Yidden feared what would happen once he passed on. They turned to him with the precise request the Torah mentions in Parashas Shoftim: “Set up a king to judge us like all the nations” (Shmuel I 8:5–7). Shmuel, however, reacted to their request with displeasure: “Vayeira hadavar be’einei Shmuel.” Why was he bothered by what they were asking for? Hadn’t the Torah foreseen this years before; that there would come a time when Yidden would ask for an authority figure to rule over them? There, the Torah had proceeded to outline the requirements of the king, clearly acquiescing to their request.

freedom and

The answer to Shmuel’s disapproval lies in the verses that follow. Klal Yisrael had not required an authority figure until then because, contrary to other nations, they’d always had—and always will have—a King. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is the true indisputable Authority, the ultimate Authority, and He fills our human need for stability and security. When a Yid feels that Hashem is in charge, he has no need for other leadership

atmosphere in the world we live in today is one that aims toward autonomy.

systems, which pale in comparison to Hashem’s almighty, loving control. That the Yidden requested a king in the days of Shmuel was an indication of their yeridah, the loss of their absolute clarity that Hashem was in control and at their side at all times. This was what bothered the Navi so much: witnessing that it was a weakening of emunah in his fellow Yidden that had led to their request for a human king. In essence, we Yidden have no need for a human king. We are privileged to be led and taken care of by the King of Kings. But the degree to which we feel that sense of security from His leadership depends on how hard we work to be mekabel ol mal-

chus Shamayim, to feel His presence in our lives. This is our avodah on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur—to reconnect to that feeling of being ruled and cared for by the King, to fully and truly establish in our heart and mind that Hashem is at our side every moment of our lives. The more we feel this, the greater our simchah. Come Sukkos, and our joy knows no bounds. With one of our deepest needs filled in the most optimal fashion, we enter the Yom Tov rejoicing in our privilege. The deeper our emunah, the greater our simchah. May we be zocheh to feel the joy that emanates from being mekabel ol—on Sukkos, and all year.

Rabbi Ezra Friedman welcomes questions and comments on this column. Please write to rabbiefriedman@wellspringmagazine.com.

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

UPDATES By Bracha Kolman

The Wonders of Words An astounding benefit of talking to premature babies—and all kids During the Yom Tov season, if you’re a parent or grandparent, you’ll be spending lots of time with the kids. If you want to give them something valuable during your time together, talk to them. A recent study published in Science Reports indicates astounding benefits of talking with children. Researchers observed premature babies in incubators in the intensive care unit who undergo routine medical procedures for several weeks that can be painful. Pain medication is not an option for these underdeveloped infants, but the findings of the new study offer a promising solution. A team from the University of Geneva collaborated with the Parini Hospital in Italy and observed that when mothers spoke to their baby at the time of the medical intervention, the child’s pain was mitigated. Researchers studied 20 premature during their daily blood test on three separate occasions. The first injection was taken without the mother present, the second one while the mother was talking to the baby, and the final one while mother sang to her child. They also measured the mother’s voice intensity to ensure it covered surrounding noise, as intensive care is often noisy due to ventilators and other medical devices. “In order to code the behavior of premature babies, we 56

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

filmed each blood test and had trained personnel judge the videos without sound, so as not to know whether the mother was present or not,” notes Didier Grandjean, the team leader, who has long been studying the early vocal contact between the mother and the premature baby. The Preterm Infant Pain Profile (PIPP), which establishes a rate between 0 and 21 for facial expressions and physiological parameters expressing the baby’s feelings, was 4.5 when the mother was absent and dropped to 3 when the mother talked to her baby. Surprisingly, when the mother sang, the PIPP was 3.8, higher than when she simply spoke to her baby. Scientists are assuming that this is because words are significantly more personal than mindless melodies. The scientists found that the oxytocin level, the “attachment hormone,” rose significantly when the mother spoke, which is of paramount importance for a baby’s development. These results show the positive impact of the mother’s presence when premature babies undergo painful medical procedures, which also serves as an alert to parents of children of all stages. Carve out more time to enjoy pleasant conversations with your children this Yom Tov, and take note of the positive changes.

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UPDATES

It’s Not All Downward Research shows cognitive improvement in the aging population Aging is generally associated with a decline in brain functioning, and for years, research has backed that. Now, however, a new study published in Nature Human Behaviour suggests this may not be completely true. “People have widely assumed that attention and executive functions decline with age, despite intriguing hints from some smaller-scale studies that raised questions about these assumptions,” says study author Dr. Michael T. Ullman, professor in the Department of Neuroscience. Researchers observed 702 participants aged 58–98. They tested the participants for the following three cognitive functions: alerting, orienting, and executive inhibition (self-control), using the computer-based Attention Network Test (ANT). This shows how well participants can respond to the target stimulus shown on the computer screen and accurately measures the three cognitive functions. The results caught the researchers by surprise. While previous studies suggested all three processes declined 58

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

with age, the researchers found that only alerting abilities declined—while orienting and executive inhibition actually improved. Scientists are finding this new study astounding and are spreading this awareness. It’s possible that viewing the elderly as incapacitated or less capable of performing these tasks actually hindered their general cognitive abilities, as well. On the contrary, encouraging these abilities and recognizing their strengths can likely improve overall aging health. However, the study authors still urge people to practice mental exercises with seniors. Some fun ways to do so include teaching them a musical instrument, new language, new songs, or playing mind games. Spending some with elderly family members this Yom Tov? That’s an opportunity for a thinking game together. Hopefully you’ll notice that their cognitive abilities are better than you expected.

Every night he struggles to fall asleep for hours. He wakes up on the wrong side of the bed every morning. He seems so tired after school.

I can tell that he’s exhausted. He struggles to stay awake in class.

!‫חג שמח‬

A Hamaspik Project

4102 14th Ave Brooklyn, NY 718.408.5400 58 Route 59 Monsey, NY 845.503.0400 1 Hamaspik Way Monroe, NY 845.774.0300 info@comforthealthny.org • comforthealthny.org

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UPDATES

The Makeup of Cosmetics What’s lurking in your lipstick? Fully stocked with new cosmetics in honor of Yom Tov? Before using those new products, check they meet your requirements for supporting good health. While we’re all aware that some cosmetics contain high levels of potentially toxic chemicals, new research reveals even more. In a recent study published in Environmental Science and Technology Letters, scientists tested 231 cosmetic products for fluorine, a marker of polyfluoroalkyl and perfluoroalkyl substances—also known as PFAS. Shockingly, more than 50% of these products contained high levels of fluorine, indicating possible high levels of PFAS. These chemicals have long been linked to various health problems including diabetes, high blood pressure, several cancers, and even infertility. Another hazard of PFAS is that it doesn’t exit the body like most chemicals, but remains in the bloodstream and accumulates. Some research also suggests exposure to PFAS may be associated with an increased risk of chronic health problems such as obesity, diabetes, and asthma. Some types of makeup tested higher for levels of PFAS than others. The highest levels of fluorine were found in waterproof mascaras (82% of waterproof mascaras), another 63% of foundations revealed high levels, and liquid 60

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

lipsticks also showed dangerous levels (62%). However, the most worrying finding was that only 8% of cosmetics had the chemical listed in their ingredients. “These results are particularly concerning when you consider the risk of exposure to the consumer combined with the size and scale of a multibillion-dollar industry that provides these products to millions of consumers daily,” says senior study author Graham Peaslee, PhD, a professor of physics at the University of Notre Dame. Alas, cosmetics provide an easy route into the body. The chemicals are quickly absorbed through the skin and tear ducts or through ingestion—as is often the case with lipstick. Through these means, PFAS is unwittingly absorbed by the body. What to do? Reduce the risk by limiting makeup use, how often you apply it, and what products you choose. Makeup-free days can help too. Also, get into the habit of gently wiping off lipstick before you drink or eat to help reduce exposure through ingestion. And keep in mind that the products labeled waterproof, long-lasting, or wear-resistant contain significantly more PFAS, so use them minimally or avoid altogether.

He can’t seem to pay attention in class. He struggles to keep up with his assignments.

He seems so overwhelmed.

He’s always forgetting about projects.

A Hamaspik Project

4102 14th Ave Brooklyn, NY 718.408.5400 58 Route 59 Monsey, NY 845.503.0400 1 Hamaspik Way Monroe, NY 845.774.0300 info@comforthealthny.org • comforthealthny.org

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

UPDATES

Tip

13 in a series

Well Spent

Yom Tov on a Budget The title is almost paradoxical. Yom Tov, especially Sukkos and Pesach, can quickly deplete the month’s food, clothing, and general shopping budget. Thankfully, Chazal tell us that the expenses of Yom Tov are not part of our allocated finances, but if we want to try to stay within a relative budget, here are three tips.

1. Don’t Skip the Soup:

2. Dips vs. Fish:

3. Individual Portions:

Many people are quick to skip the soup on Yom Tov and serve a larger main instead. True, soup is super filling, but it’s also a really economical dish. Try to serve soup, and cut your main dish, giving smaller portions of meat, which is more costly. There are many festive soup options, but try to stay away from those needing lots of meat and chicken so as not to defeat the purpose! If you do cook those, remove the meat and chicken and use them on another dish.

Fish can chomp off a big chunk of the food bill, so try cutting down that expense by making several vegetable-based dips (eggplant, olives, etc.) and serving them in abundance next to smaller slices of fish (ask your fish store for thinner slices or the tail slices). In addition to filling up on vegetables, a Yom Tov meal usually provides enough protein, so no need to worry about that.

If you’re a hostess who suffers from the familiar “I-don’t-haveenough-food” fear, not going overboard with the food options can be challenging. It helps to prepare individual portions, such as by dividing pies into individual ramekins, which will enable you to prepare more exact quantities. Ices, ice creams, kugels, and salads can also be portioned individually, sparing you lots of leftovers.

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

•DELI• FRESH

FUN FACTS ‫זמן שמחתנו‬

DID YOU KNOW?

The original name of the Flaum's brand is their real family name.

PICKLES IN WINTER?

Pickles need a warm temperature to turn sour. At Flaum, pickle fermentation during the winter can take 3 times longer than during summer.

HOW MANY POUNDS? The average American eats 8.5 lbs of pickles a year. We have reason to believe that the average Jew eats 7 times that.

TUNA PRICED LIKE GOLD

GOOD CATCH FOR WHALES, AND... The main predators of herrings are killer whales, sea lions, seals and large fish such as tuna, salmon and various types of sharks. Herring is important for humans because it is rich in omega-3 fatty acids and vitamin D. With 10 herring flavors to choose from, Flaum got you covered.

The most expensive tuna ever sold was a 593 pound bluefin, sold in Japan for $736,000.

IS HORSERADISH FOR HORSES?

OVER 100

Horseradish is actually poison for horses, but excellent for people. Naturally rich in antioxidants, and many other health benefits. Flaum's is also delicious.

F A M I L Y

Flaum is over 100 years old. One of the oldest Pickle companies in New York.

F A V O R I T E S

F O R

F I V E

G E N E R A T I O N S WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

ALTERNATIVE VIEW

BY FAIGY SCHONFELD

ACID REFLUX GASTROESOPHAGEAL REFLUX DISEASE (GERD) IS RAMPANT IN THE US, WITH AN ESTIMATED 50 PERCENT OF AMERICAN ADULTS SUFFERING FROM ACID REFLUX. ABOUT 15 MILLION AMERICANS EXPERIENCE HEARTBURN ON A DAILY BASIS. HEARTBURN IS NOT FUN AND FOR MANY PEOPLE, POPPING A TUMS IS THE WAY TO GO. BUT IS THAT THE BEST ROUTE TO TAKE?

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

WHAT IS IT? You may have finished your meal, but what happens if your food isn’t finished with you? When food and stomach acids flow back up from the stomach into the esophagus, it causes a burning sensation in the lower chest. Top that off with other pleasant aftereffects like bloating, sore throat, belching, difficulty breathing, and ulcers, and you’ve got acid reflux. Usually, this is caused when the muscle that briefly opens from the esophagus to let food into the stomach, otherwise known as the lower esophageal sphincter (LES), relaxes for too long or too often.

THE ROOTS

TOO LOW STOMACH ACID?

In the last few decades, acid reflux has become a hot topic. Western medicine views acid reflux as a symptom of the weakening of the LES. But not everyone agrees. Acid reflux may come from other factors, and very often, the culprit may be stress or repressed emotions. (Shout-out to Dr. Sarno!)

According to some sources, for the vast majority of people, heartburn/acid reflux is actually caused by a lack, not an excess, of stomach acid (HCl). When you swallow food, it passes through the LES and enters the stomach, where stomach acid and other enzymes work to break down proteins and inhibit bacterial growth. The food churns with the acid and enzymes until its pH level is low enough to activate the valve at the exit of the stomach (pyloric sphincter), where digestion continues.

Standard treatment for this condition involves continuous use of antacid and/ or anti-reflux medication. But it doesn’t seem to be all that good at solving the problem. Not only hasn’t acid reflux gone anywhere, it’s only becoming more prevalent.

If there isn’t enough stomach acid, the pH won’t lower enough to activate the “out” valve, keeping the food churning in the stomach for hours. The “in” valve then loosens, allowing some of that to “splash” back up into the esophagus. Want to find out where you stand? The next time heartburn shows up, add two to three tablespoons of apple cider vinegar to four ounces of water, and drink. If this eases your symptoms, it’s a sign that you’re low in acid. If you’re not keen on vinegar, try a glass of warm water mixed with unrefined sea salt (not table salt).

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

ALTERNATIVE VIEW

THE PROBLEM WITH PPI DRUGS Pharmaceutical companies have come up with several drugs that claim to address acid reflux. Proton pump inhibitors (PPIs) are medicines that neutralize the stomach acid so you don’t feel your heartburn. These are the most commonly prescribed drugs in the United States, accounting for more than ten billion dollars a year in healthcare costs. PPIs are meant to relieve symptoms and sometimes they do, but it comes with a steep price tag. With the stomach acid lowered, proteins are not broken down, bacteria can grow, digestion is prolonged, and nutrients aren’t absorbed properly. Welcome, nutrient deficiencies, bowel disorders, and general fatigue! Now we need a new list of prescriptions to fix these problems. Notice the cycle? PPIs have been linked to severe side effects. Recent studies indicate that prolonged use of PPIs is associated with higher rates of stroke and heart attack, dementia, and kidney damage. In a large study done by Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, 71,000 people were asked if they experienced specific acid reflux symptoms. Those who did were asked how often they experienced each symptom and whether they took drugs for it. Turns out that more than half of those with acid reflux symptoms who were taking PPIs continued to experience persistent symptoms. (The study also showed that certain people were less likely to get relief from PPIs, including women, younger people, Latinos, and for those with Crohn’s or IBS.) Popping a magic pill may seem attractive, but a quick fix is not always a good fix. A healthy lifestyle and a good diet are way more effective at controlling heartburn. Plus, they don’t include all those creepy side effects. If you’re dealing with low stomach acid (as is often the case), you may want to try betaine or digestive enzyme supplements. Important Note: Certain cases truly require an acid inhibitor, such as when there really is too much stomach acid, or in the presence of a condition like a hiatal hernia. If you’re taking a prescription medication, don’t stop it cold turkey; consult your physician on reducing your dosage gradually to eventually eliminate it.

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

SOMETHING TO EAT Here are some foods that can help relieve that burning sensation:

Aloe Vera Juice: Its anti-inflammatory properties are soothing for an irritated esophagus. Banana: With its low-acid content, it can stick to the esophageal lining, offering relief. Papaya: Contains the enzyme called papain that helps with digestion. Yogurt: Dairy products like yogurt can sometimes reduce symptoms of acid reflux. Mediterranean Diet: A study published in JAMA Otolaryngology found that the Mediterranean diet is more effective at treating acid reflux than meds. The Mediterranean-style diet was first recognized in 1960s because of the low rates of chronic diseases, including heart disease, among people who followed it. The results of the study revealed that subjects who ate primarily fish, vegetables, and whole grains, and drank alkaline-heavy water suffered less symptoms than those on PPIs. Researchers compared 85 people on PPIs with 99 people who followed a 90 percent plant-based, Mediterranean-style diet and also drank alkaline water. Their diet consisted mostly of fruits, vegetables, grains, and nuts, and barely any dairy or meat, such as beef, chicken, fish, eggs. They stayed away from trigger foods like soda, coffee, tea, chocolate, alcohol, and spicy, fried foods. Those following this diet had lost weight and were taking less medications for conditions such as high blood pressure and cholesterol.

DO TRY THIS AT HOME Baking Soda: Thanks to its alkaline nature, it can quickly neutralize acid. Dissolve one teaspoon in a cup of warm water and drink slowly. Be prepared for some burping, since adding baking soda to water releases carbon dioxide, causing an impressive fizz. Apple Cider Vinegar: Mix two or three teaspoons in a cup of warm water and drink. For some people, apple cider vinegar before a heavy meal can ward off heartburn. Ginger Root: Containing compounds similar to digestive enzymes, the gastrointestinal benefits of ginger have been known for a long time. Ginger can be consumed in its raw form, but you may prefer ginger tea. Soak ginger root in a glass of hot water and drink once cooled. Lemon: Like apple cider vinegar, lemon is also alkaline-forming and helps neutralize acidity in the stomach. As a prevention, take one tablespoon of freshly squeezed lemon juice ten minutes before a meal. To relieve existing symptoms, have a tablespoon first thing in the morning, and another one before lunch and dinner. Unrefined, Organic Honey: Can help soothe and relieve the burning sensation. Honey helps adjust the body’s pH, neutralizing stomach acids almost immediately. Try a spoonful of honey at bedtime for a more comfortable sleep. Licorice Root: Creates mucilage, a protective mucus that coats the esophagus lining and prevents damage. Try it in tea. Ask a doctor before consuming it in large quantities as licorice root can raise the blood pressure.

MORE TIPS

Avoid over-the-counter antacids as much as possible; they create a feedback loop in the digestive tract that produces greater amounts of stomach acid. Eat smaller meals and more often, and chew your food well. When saliva mixes with food, it predigests it and signals the stomach to prepare for additional digestive functions. Loosen clothing around the waist and don’t bend or lift heavy objects soon after eating. Also, keeping your head and upper body in an elevated position may prevent coughing and choking. You may want to check out an acid reflux pillow wedge. To get to the root of your issue, you can always dig deeper. Homeopathy, craniosacral therapy, or the Sarno Method (my favorite!) can be helpful in clearing an underlying issue.

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

INSIDER By Roizy Baum

HAIR Early Beginnings All the hair follicles we will ever have were formed five months prior to our birth.

Hair-Racing Hair is the fastest-growing tissue in the body—second in line to bone marrow.

Pull ’n Peel Some sheep farms inject their herds with a protein growth factor that causes hair shafts to break off, making fleece peel right off the animal. No shears needed.

Not the End A trichoptilosis diagnosis shouldn’t throw you into a panic. It’s only split ends!

Trace Evidence Can criminals be traced by the strands of hair they leave behind? Hair contains information about everything that has been in your bloodstream, such as medicine, drugs, minerals, and vitamins. Still, the only thing that can’t be identified by hair is gender.

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

Weighty Issues Know those ads about strong hair? They’re no exaggeration. A single scalp hair can lift about a quarter pound of weight without breaking. And an entire head of hair can support the equivalent of two elephants, or two tons!

The Makeup Hair is composed of the following elements: carbon (50%), oxygen (21%) nitrogen (17%), hydrogen (6%), sulfur (5%). Each hair strand has its own muscle, nerve, and blood supply.

Bat an Eyelash The average lifespan of an eyelash is 150 days.

Along the Strand On average, people have about 100,000 strands of hair on their head. Blondes have the highest amount and redheads the lowest.

Slow, Slow Follicles are affected by stress. Nerves transmit stress signals to hair follicles, which slow down hair growth. Interestingly, injuries like cuts appear to speed up hair growth.

Hair-Raising Numbers Humans have about 100,000 follicles on their scalp and a couple of million—somewhere between 3 and 5 million—all over the body.

Deep-Rooted It takes about a fifth of a pound of force to pull a scalp hair out from the root. That fistful of hair in your toddler’s hands? It didn’t come so easily! As cells are added to the base of the shaft, hair grows about half an inch monthly.

Sebum Spills Naturally, hair is covered in sebum, an oil from the sebaceous glands. In 1989, after the Exxon Valdez oil spill, an Alabama hairdresser recognized that if hair soaks up sebum, it must be able to soak up other oils as well. After testing untreated hair from the floor of his salon with motor oil and water, he indeed discovered it to be an effective cleaning agent. Eventually, in 2007, hair mats were used to clean up an oil spill in the San Francisco Bay. However, in 2010, BP rejected using hair donations collected for its Gulf of Mexico oil spills. They admitted that hair booms made for oil spills are absorbent but claimed they can be difficult to use and dispose of.

On Edge Hair-raising occurrences do cause your hair to, quite literally, stand on edge. Goosebumps are an involuntary response where hair follicles “stand up.” In animals, when hair follicles stand up, this thickens the fur thereby creating better insulation, though this is less effective in humans as our body hair isn’t that dense.

Military Precision When did military haircuts make their first appearance? Did hand-to-hand combats mess up hair or did hair mess up hand-to-hand combats? Military haircuts first made their appearance when Alexander the Great mandated short hair for all his soldiers so their hair shouldn’t get in the way. Until today, buzz cuts are associated with order and discipline. It’s no coincidence that in the 1960s, peace-loving American hippies chose to grow their hair wild.

Whirling Whorl A cowlick—sometimes called a “hair whorl”—is a small group of hair that either stands straight up or lies in the opposite direction of the way a person wants to comb his or her hair. Cowlicks are recognized by the spiral pattern the hair forms. A study conducted on 500 Americans found that 90 percent of right-handed people had a cowlick whorl that grew clockwise, while left-handed and ambidextrous individuals weren’t associated with any particular direction of whorl.

Forming, Falling, Reforming Has cleaning your hairbrush become a daily task? It’s no wonder! Around 50 to 100 hairs fall out of your scalp every day. Very few organs follow a cycle of forming, falling out, and reforming. Scientists are still stumped by the reasoning of why hair cycles like this.

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

INSIDER

Positive Charge Lather, rinse, repeat, and condition. Don’t skip the conditioner! Conditioner coats the hair in molecules that give the shaft a positive charge. Because a positive charge repels another positive charge, hairs are less likely to knot together.

Animalistic. Linguistic. Linguistically, baldness is associated with foxes. Alopecia, the medical term for hair loss, comes from the Greek word for fox, alopex. In ancient Greece, people linked human hair loss with mange-inflicted foxes.

How to Maintain Healthy Hair By Dr. Michael Goldenhersh Board Certified Dermatologist in US and Israel, Board Certified Dermatopathologist — US, Former Assistant Professor of Dermatology at Yale University Medical Center The common reaction for anyone with an increase in shedding of hair—be it on the hairbrush or shower—is the fear of going bald. Telogen effluvium, a form of temporary hair loss, virtually always self-corrects. Hair constantly goes through a growth cycle, and we all have the fall-out phase called telogen. The telogen phase can last for weeks, months, and even years. Interestingly, animals also lose their fleece at a certain season.

Hair, Hair Contrary to popular myth, that haircut won’t alert your follicle to grow again! Hair being a stack of dead cells, the follicle can’t feel when your hair gets cut. Pulling hair out by the root sends a signal to your hair follicles to grow again but cutting does not.

Shrinking, But Still There Bald heads are virtually hairless but not totally. Follicles and hair shafts shrink as one balds, getting smaller and smaller until they’re only noticeable with a microscope.

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

Adverse Effects Why does hair loss occur with chemotherapy? Chemotherapy is intended to eliminate cells that replicate quickly, so the hair follicles—which grow and divide rapidly— are adversely affected.

The main treatment for telogen effluvium is reassurance. No blood tests are necessary and it isn’t usually a sign of anything serious. The condition is often caused by stress, and since exercise is an excellent stress reducer, I highly recommend an increase in physical activity.

Pounds of Pasture

The two main groups I see with this issue are upper teens and post-partum women. Indeed, because of the change in hormonal exposure, many women experience telogen effluvium after pregnancy. Additionally, the condition is very common when women change or withdraw from hormone treatment.

In order to produce fine merino wool, sheep must consume at least 9 pounds of pasture per day, which yields about 3.5 ounces of protein. There’s a reason sheep spend so much time grazing!

Another important pointer is to get to know your hair. There are conflicting opinions about how often to use shampoo. For example, people with oily hair may need to shampoo every day, while people with dry hair may need to shampoo less frequently. Also, harsh shampoo, hair treatments, and styling products may contribute to poor hair health.

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Bring on the deserts of Morocco. The sun sears, camels grunt, and your salted caramel cappuccino resuscitates. UHT MILK: THE TRUE PIONEER OF YOUR JOURNEY.

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

FITNESS

POSTURE IS KEY How to Maintain Proper Form Throughout Your Workout Chaya Tziry Retter, BS, CPT Chaya Tziry Retter is a Monsey-based nutritionist, fitness instructor, and ACE-certified personal trainer. She has a bachelor of science in human nutrition management and is currently pursuing her registered dietitian credential. She is passionate about helping others lead healthier lives in a way that suits their needs. She can be reached at 845-540-4487.

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

Have you ever felt like your workouts weren’t accomplishing as much as they should be? You sweat, you pant, you persevere — but you’re just not seeing the results? There are many factors to consider when exercising, and many simple ways to maximize your routine. Breathing techniques are important to help your body master your workout and keep your oxygen and energy levels up. Variations in the workout you choose, switching it up on a daily or weekly basis, can help keep motivation and energy up and actually help your body burn more calories. Interval training, which combines different style workouts in one session is also a popular choice to keep the calorie burning at maximum. Proper stretching before and after a good workout can help your body better prepare for the load it’s about to take on and recover from it afterwards. But if you ask me, there’s only one factor that’s more important than all of those: proper form. Yes, that’s right. You can keep doing exactly what you’ve been doing until now for your exercise routine — be it walking, running, swimming, spinning, HIIT, cardio, Pilates, or yoga. All forms of exercise and elevating your heart rate help your body burn calories, build muscle strength, and release and create energy and positive hormones. The priority is getting each of them done in the ideal form, posture, and position. In my classes, you’ll hear me shout endlessly: “Chin up, long neck, drop your shoulders, shoulder blades together, chest forward, core tight and stay in control!” If you just wriggled in your seat trying to follow those steps, that’s a good sign! Let’s break it down. Keep these simple but game-changing tips in mind while working out:

1. Chin up, long neck: Like your mother taught you, keep your chin up as if you’re balancing a book on your head while extending your neck upwards. You may notice your shoulders dropping and chest pushing forward already.

2. Drop your shoulders and pull your shoulder blades together: Get your shoulders low and then pull those shoulder blades closer together in your back. You may already begin to feel a tightness in your neck muscles and in your core.

3. Chest forward and core tight: Keeping the shoulders back automatically brings your chest cavity forward. Now, hold and lock that stiff upper body form. Concentrate on tightening your center; take control of your abdomen, tummy and core muscles.

4. Stay in control: Maintain this general position whether you’re on the elliptical, doing floor work in Pilates, or spinning at the gym. Focus on the specific parts of your routine and what you need to do to maximize the effort. Sometimes you’ll need to keep your legs glued together, and other times shoulder-width apart. Sometimes your arms and shoulders should be aligned on the ground, and sometimes your arms need to be extended and locked. Each exercise has its own “formula” for proper position.

Keeping your body in a proper posture during all types of physical activity will actually address the areas your workout is trying to target. Not only is this important to see the results you want, but you will also be preventing workout-related injuries and the general aches and pains that are inevitable with improper form. Lower backache and shoulder strain are consequences of incorrect form during exercise. You’re thinking: That sounds great and actually doable! But how am I supposed to know if I’m really doing it right or wrong? Getting in touch with a certified personal trainer who can help you one-on-one is one great way. For those people who like the accountability and reassurance of knowing your trainer is there to get you through the routine and make sure you’re doing it 100 percent correctly, a set scheduled session would be ideal. If you take exercise classes, a qualified group fitness instructor should be able to guide you and remind you to keep your form as it should be, and you can always ask questions or get some extra direction after class. If you’re an independent exerciser, and like videos at home or running on the treadmill or any gym machine, that’s great. There are some great videos you can find that really guide you, but it may be hard to know if you are really in the right position. Keep in mind that you can always contact a personal trainer for a one-off session to teach, correct, and emphasize proper form for whatever you’re doing, to make sure you’re good to go. Remember, you can do any form of exercise that gets your heart rate up. As long as you are doing it in perfect form and posture, you’ll be in good shape.

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

REAL SIM CH YOM TOV AS

PRODUCT OF USA

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

‫חג ושמח‬

ASK THE NUTRITIONIST By Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

Going Under the Knife Guidance for Bariatric Surgery

Thank you for this wonderful column. After years of struggling with weight issues, I’m considering undergoing bariatric surgery. I’m wondering what kind of diet will work for me, as many foods will be difficult for me to eat afterward. Also, which foods would you recommend I work on incorporating into my daily diet?

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

ASK THE NUTRITIONIST

Thank you for raising this very important subject. Unfortunately, many people undergo bariatric surgery without realizing or learning what efforts they will need to invest thereafter. Many assume it’s a quick-fix solution that will require no effort on their part. The reality is, however, that the only way for the surgery to be successful is if you work hard to change your eating habits and general outlook toward health. So, kudos to you for taking the time to learn more about nutrition. Here are some rudimentary ideas to keep in mind post-surgery or if you’re contemplating the surgery. First and foremost, it is important to consult with a therapist or counselor before undergoing the procedure and during the period of recovery. Negative eating habits by and large stem from emotional issues that need to be worked through. Without therapeutic support, one’s eating habits are likely to spiral out of control again. Often, when the emotions aren’t soothed or dulled through food, they end up impacting other areas of life. Being healthy is in the mind even more than in our physical actions, and years of unhealthy habits will not be cured with bariatric surgery. I have seen tremendous success with clients who have dutifully followed through with a therapist and worked on their emotional issues after undergoing the surgery. There’s a lot to discuss regarding nutrition post-surgery. Of course, precise plans depend on the individual and will need to be customized by a licensed nutritionist, but here are the basics. In the first few weeks following the procedure, it’s very important to concentrate on increased protein. Protein, or rather the amino acids it consists of, are the body’s healing tools. Protein repairs important body tissue, heals wounds, and strengthens muscle. Therefore, try to up your protein intake to speed your recovery. There are several options of soft and easy-to-eat proteins, such as protein shakes, milk products, and eggs.

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

Fruits and vegetables should also be a priority. Although they may be difficult to digest in the beginning, blending them will make them easier to consume. Fruits and vegetables contain a variety of important vitamins and minerals you’ll want to incorporate in your diet as your body is healing, and as part of your new healthy lifestyle. Regarding carbohydrates, aim to eat starchy vegetables as carbs and work with a dietitian to see how much is right for you. Another vital factor to keep in mind is that fasting or denying your body the calories it needs will not make you healthy. In fact, the term “skinny fat” denotes just that. It’s when a person is “skinny”—not overweight according to the BMI—but his blood levels, cholesterol, etc., are in levels of disarray resembling that of an obese individual. I’ve had individuals who came to me years after they had bariatric surgery, looking slim but admitting that their numbers aren’t healthy. This happens when you get into the habit of denying your body the basic nutrition it desperately needs. To avoid that, I’ll reiterate the importance of working with a nutritionist to establish a balanced food plan. Also, get accustomed to eating frequent small meals and nourishing your body with the right food groups. May it go smoothly and easily for you.

Is surgery the only option? Are you contemplating undergoing the surgery? After years of guiding clients before, during, and after surgery, here’s my take on the procedure. Although I do believe the surgery is not a quick fix and an easy way out, I have seen cases of success when the individuals worked with the guidance of a dietitian, as well as taking the time to work through their emotional issues. However, too many people take bariatric surgery with the assumption that it’s the easiest way to lose weight, without having properly analyzed their specific issue. I’ve personally witnessed many situations where the surgery was totally unnecessary because an underlying health issue was at the core of the patient’s difficulty with weight loss. Therefore, I always recommend seeing an endocrinologist first. The specialist will look at your bloodwork and try to uncover any underlying problems. Often, a doctor will dismiss any thyroid issues because your bloodwork is within normal range, but an endocrinologist—who analyzes various factors more closely—will diagnose a thyroid issue or other subtle irregularity that may be causing obesity. Make sure your case has been reviewed by a variety of health professionals and listen to the input of those in the field. I’ve worked with many people who avoided surgery and proceeded to lose weight in a healthy fashion. It is definitely something to consider.

Laura Shammah MS, RDN, has been operating a private practice in New York and New Jersey for over 20 years. Her clientele runs the gamut from people with eating disorders to those dealing with hypertension, high cholesterol, diabetes and cancer. She also helps clients who run in marathons or are looking to lose or gain weight in a healthy way. Her nutritional guidance is published in MaryAnne Cohen’s book Lasagna for Lunch: Declaring Peace With Emotional Eating. Laura can be reached at 718-376-0062 or Laurashammah@aol.com.

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

SUKKOS-INSPIRED TIPS

What Sukkos Can Teach Us

8 nutrition and self-care tips we can cull from this Yom Tov by Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

Celebrate disposables. As a routine supporter of the disposable plate and cutlery industry, I think Sukkos is the perfect time to share this fun fact. While I encourage both recycling and the use of eco-friendly products when feasible, I also value my (and all women’s!) wellbeing and sanity. When we are calm and happy, it has a ripple effect on those around us. In my opinion, using disposables is part of self-care for us women, especially when there are a lot of Yom Tov meals (and nice formal disposable options to choose from). Cleanup is faster and easier, and it’s always fun to pick out different colors and mixand-match components for every meal.

Note what is essential.

Keep it simple. I’m a big proponent of the concept that “less is more.” This can be applied in many areas of our lives. On Sukkos, we are reminded of the beauty of simplicity; we leave our home and enter our (relatively) simple sukkah. When we plan our menus, let’s remember the theme of simplicity and alleviate some stress that may come along with feeling that we must have many courses and prepare many time-consuming dishes. Focus on a simple (yet delicious, of course!) menu.

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Along the same lines of keeping it simple, Sukkos is a time when we’re reminded of what is really essential in our lives. If it is important, it makes its way into our sukkah, and if not, well, it doesn’t. With its unique mitzvos, Sukkos is a time to recalibrate. We have a lot of distractions in life, some of which are necessary, while others are just noise that divert our attention from what is truly important. The people in our lives are essential—make a point to express your love to them both directly and indirectly this Sukkos.

Focus on being happy. While it’s always a mitzvah to be happy, there is an extra emphasis on happiness during Sukkos. It is normal and healthy to feel many different emotions, but maintaining a happy mood most of the time is one of the most basic yet fundamental components of self-care. Also, as mentioned earlier, when we’re happy, all those around us are positively impacted. Let’s take this Sukkos as an opportunity to focus on being happy, thinking about what makes us feel joy and tuning in to how those around us are affected by our good mood.

Flexibility is important. Sukkos is a time when we enjoy a change of scenery, schedule, and circumstances. Just as it’s important to adjust and adapt to a new lifestyle in our sukkah, it’s important to be flexible with our diet and way of eating. When I use the word “diet,” I am referring to the foods we eat and the drinks we consume—not a restrictive set of rules. Unfortunately, there are too many people, books, and products promoting very strict and inflexible ways of eating. We are meant to enjoy our food and also be flexible with our food choices (even if we have weight loss in mind).

Step out of your comfort zone. On Sukkos, we step out of the comfort zone of our house and into our sukkah. While it may seem uncomfortable at first, being in the sukkah offers a unique circumstance and environment that is special, cozy, and replete with opportunities for cherished family time. Sometimes we’re stuck in our familiar habits that may not be beneficial to our health, and it can be uncomfortable to adopt new and foreign healthy behaviors, but ultimately, once we do make these positive changes (with the right support and guidance), we will see that they are special, beneficial, and not too uncomfortable after all.

Feel the embrace.

Change of scenery can shift our perspective. Have you ever had the same health goals year after year, while feeling a burden or roadblock preventing you from succeeding? I have! In my opinion and experience, one of the best ways to overcome those theoretical roadblocks and find success is to shift our perspective and mindset. Just as on Sukkos, we have a physical change of scenery, which may lead to a shift in perspective, it’s often helpful to shift perspective and mindset (perhaps with the help of a professional, such as a dietitian) when working toward a health (or any) goal.

The sukkah is often referred to as a metaphoric hug from Hashem. Feeling His love enables us to lead a rich, fulfilling life, and we can use this as a reminder of how important it is for us to feel that love toward ourselves, as well as to display it through self-care. Take some time to think about ways you can take care of yourself on a daily basis—even if they are very minor. Then, practice these acts of selfcare and feel yourself receiving your own metaphoric embrace.

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD, is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Self-Care Enthusiast on a mission to help women reach their ultimate health and wellbeing potential inside and out. She shares credible, clear, and inspiring nutrition information with women via her virtual private practice. To contact Esti with feedback or inquiries regarding her nutritional services, please email her at esti@estiashernutrition.com or visit estiashernutrition.com.

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

SPECIAL THEME SECTION

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

SPECIAL THEME SECTION

UPROOTED, REROUTED For seven days, we are commanded to relocate from the comfort of our permanent home into a space beneath the stars. It is in this state of provisional living that we realize that one thing remains constant and unwavering — Hashem’s presence within our midst. In this special theme section, five individuals share what it was like to uproot themselves and their families in the pursuit of better health. It was in their place of wandering that they grasped on to what is eternally constant.

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SPECIAL THEME SECTION

Setting Sights on England As told to Russi Deutsch Who would have imagined that our life would turn out the way it did? We think we have everything worked out, but we forget to take into account the plans of the Master Planner.

Just two years ago we were living in our spacious, newly renovated home in Modi’in, Israel, which we were fortunate to own. Our oldest child was 13 at the time, followed by a lively brood of younger siblings. We didn’t dream that we would hardly have any time to enjoy our new extension, and definitely not that we would end up living in England.

him — and us — no small amount of anguish. He had trouble sleeping because he was in such pain, but we did find that when he was in the house with the trissim shut, he had a small measure of relief. We tried everything our optician and doctor recommended — creams, eye drops, compresses, and more, but nothing seemed to ease his pain. After suffering for two more years, both with his eyes and various other issues, Shmueli was diagnosed with celiac disease. Incredibly, once we adjusted his diet accordingly, the situation with his eyes calmed down as well.

Six years earlier, our then-three year old son Shmuel Chaim began experiencing issues with his eyes. In what appeared to be supreme discomfort, he was always rubbing them; they were tearing terribly and caused

Shmueli’s eyes were more or less okay for the next four years, but once he turned nine his condition returned with a vengeance. The doctor explained that nine to fourteen are the prime growing years for a boy and it’s

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normal for various existing body conditions to worsen during that period. Now we were back at square one. It was so frustrating and heartrending to watch Shmueli writhe in so much pain and discomfort when we thought we had long gotten a handle on the condition. And he wasn’t a little boy anymore. Shmueli was a very bright child who was doing really well in Talmud Torah. But with his eyes bothering him so intensely, he could hardly go learn. When he did, it was just too painful to focus his sore eyes on the small letters of the Gemara. The rebbeim in his cheder were really helpful — they did whatever they could to ease our son’s predicament, but really, there was precious little that could be done. A sliver

of hope appeared when sometime during those two agonizing years we heard about another family who was undergoing the same saga and had moved to England — the Land of Grey Skies. There, in the absence of the brilliant blue skies and strong sunlight of beautiful Eretz Yisrael, their child had experienced immense relief from his perpetual suffering. For us, it was an idea that was nixed before it even had time to germinate. To move to England, where we knew no one? I know I mentioned our gorgeous, newly renovated apartment, but truthfully, I wasn’t so shallow to let that be a deciding factor. It was more. The language, the culture, leaving Eretz Yisrael, the complete separation from everyone and everything that was near and dear to us — that all deterred us from even considering making such a move. But eventually we decided to try it for a short period; during the forthcoming summer vacation we would take an extended trip to England to see for ourselves what it was like. And so began our preparations for the mammoth — albeit temporary — move. Since we were to be away for six weeks, we took along almost all the children’s clothes, including both summer and warmer wardrobes, considering we were traveling to chilly England. I also packed many of my kitchen utensils as I preferred to use my own stuff, even when we would be lodging in other people’s houses. All this turned out to be a blessing in disguise, although at the time, the growing stacks of luggage in our spare bedroom certainly didn’t feel like any type of blessing. Just looking at the amount we would be schlepping across the world gave me a backache! Departure Day arrived, sun blazing and Shmueli tearing, and off we went to Ben Gurion. Landing in London just a few hours later, we were amazed by the difference. It is an uncanny feeling to be going from bright blue skies to grey cloudy ones in the space of just a few hours. We hadn’t seen a sky like this for weeks!

Our plan was to divide our stay between London and Manchester, which we did, all the while enjoying day trips to various interesting parts of the country. As we had hoped, the change in weather did indeed make a big difference to Shmueli, and for those weeks he had a blessed reprieve from his constantly itchy eyes. Regardless of what people had told us about England, they still do have some semblance of hot weather; we had plenty of days with bright sun-

As Manchester was that much more grey and rainy, by default it became the better place for us, considering that was the very reason we were making this major life change. ny cloudless skies, although they remained a poor imitation of the blue we were used to. Shmueli did suffer from his eyes on those hot days, but definitely much less than in Eretz Yisrael. Still and all, we weren’t ready for a major life change a move across the continent would entail and I was looking forward to going back to my own

home and our own familiar routine. The last few days of our trip were reserved for a visit to the little Welsh town of Llandudno, where our Rebbe usually vacations in the summer. When we updated the Rebbe about our son’s current situation, the Rebbe said, perhaps unsurprisingly, “If he is doing well here, you should stay.” The Rebbe further advised us to stay in England immediately, without going back first to tie up loose ends. As you can imagine, that was extremely difficult for us, but since our Rebbe had told us to do this, it wasn’t up for discussion. We were staying; we just had to figure out the logistics. As Manchester was that much more grey and rainy, by default it became the better place for us, considering that was the very reason we were making this major life change. I won’t pretend it was easy, not by any stretch of imagination, but over the last two years we have slowly but surely adjusted to our new life. We have been back for visits in between — although COVID-19 made it more complicated — and each time we brought back more of our belongings. Baruch Hashem, our children have really settled in well in their schools here and have actually adjusted far better than us adults. And lately, we have just been blessed with a new baby. Our little English(!) baby is bringing us much joy and a sense of permanence to our new home. What I find most fascinating about our saga is that I know someone who moved to Eretz Yisrael from England because she suffered from SAD (seasonal affective disorder), a condition caused by the lack of sunlight affecting mood-regulating hormones. For her, the sunshine in Eretz Yisrael was her yeshuah, whereas for us, we were forced to leave. Everyone ends up in the exact place where they are destined to be, and, as my children have heard from me countless times, it was not Shmueli’s eyes which caused us to move — that was merely the catalyst to bring us to where Hashem wants us to be.

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

SPECIAL THEME SECTION

Wherever You’ll Lead Us, We’ll Go As told to Rifky Amsel by Mrs. Aliza Kossowsky As longtime Midwesterners, my husband and I lived in Detroit for the first twenty years of our marriage. We’ve since lived in many locales, each move motivated by the needs of our children, and the pursuit to find the best care for them. Our fourth child, Dovy, born after three healthy children, presented with some feeding issues, low muscle tone, and a heart defect. Once in school, he was also diagnosed with a learning disability. Despite his challenges, Dovy was good-natured, without behavioral concerns. Eli, our fifth child, was diagnosed with Asperger’s 86

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Syndrome and has a complex diagnosis which includes a regulation disorder, and other conditions. Due to the complexity of Eli’s needs, and being a special education teacher by profession, I homeschooled him. When that was no longer effective, we placed Eli in the local public school, but it was not an appropriate environment for him. In 2012, my husband was offered a job in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, as principal of a Yeshiva Elementary School. The school allowed us to hire a full-time aide to work with Eli and he was finally able to be educated in a frum environment.

While Dovy matured and progressed, Eli transitioned into adolescence. Eli not only shot up in height, making it uncomfortable to be in a classroom a few grades behind, but the program abruptly stopped working for him. It seemed that it was time to move on. My husband, a Twerski einekel and talented mechanech, was reluctant to leave his position in Milwaukee and let go of our primary source of parnassah. After much discussion and consultation with daas Torah, I, along with the two boys (the others were away at school) moved to Chicago in 2015 so Eli could attend a therapeutic program, and Dovy

attended a small yeshiva that met his educational needs. My husband commuted to Chicago a few nights a week, and we came home for Shabbosim. The arrangement was challenging, indeed, but honestly, it provided the training wheels for what was yet to come. In June of 2017, Eli’s program was discontinued and Dovy’s yeshiva closed. Back to Milwaukee we went. Shortly after the return to Milwaukee, our older son Shlomo got married in Eretz Yisrael. We saw how much Eli enjoyed the opportunities and extra freedom while there. In Milwaukee, the schedule of tutors and programming for Eli was not working smoothly. After months of agonizing over what the next step should be, we reached a decision. In the fall of 2018, we moved to Eretz Yisrael. I moved with the two boys, while my husband stayed in Milwaukee for parnassah purposes, coming to Eretz Yisrael every six to eight weeks. Eli was placed in a special education institution, Seeach Sod, and Dovy joined another small yeshiva that was a perfect fit for him. Despite the difficult circumstances—caring for children with special needs without having my husband with me much of the time--I was glad to be together with my older children in Eretz Yisrael. Our friends and neighbors were a tremendous help. Some neighbors who were always there for us - Shabbos meals, a helping hand, a listening ear –became like our second family. Flying to Eretz Yisrael in the summer of 2018 for our son Menachem’s wedding served as a pilot trip, with the move scheduled for after Sukkos. Twenty-year-old Dovy stayed at Shlomo’s in-laws for Sukkos. On Chol Hamoed, my mechutenista called to tell me that she noticed Dovy limping. At first, we figured he must’ve pulled a muscle. But the limp did not improve and in the months that followed he began falling. After much testing and consultation

with every top neurologist in Israel, the diagnosis remained a mystery. In late spring of 2019, following specific genetic testing (this is a genetic mutation, not a hereditary condition), Dovy received his devastating and rare diagnosis: early onset ALS from a mutation in the FUS gene, specifically P525L. With Hadassah Ein Kerem at the forefront of ALS research, we anticipated a plan of action. However, the doctors told us frankly, “Take Dovy home; he only has a short time to live.” We were stunned. We leaped into action, searching the top ALS centers in the hopes of finding a treatment that could help Dovy. Our exhaustive inquiries led us to Dr. Neil Shneider, a Harvard-trained neurologist in Columbia University hospital, specializing in neuromuscular development and disease. After we contacted Dr. Shneider, Dovy was accepted into his experimental treatment program. Dovy’s body was declining rapidly with a lung capacity of 60%. We had no choice but to relocate immediately. We left bechipazon—there was no deliberating as was done prior to

The doctors told us frankly, “Take Dovy home; he only has a short time to live.”

our other moves. Dovy had to get to Columbia pronto. Honestly, we didn’t fully understand what the treatment entailed. We assumed it would last for a few months. Since we left in such haste, we didn’t even pack up the apartment. Uprooting Eli suddenly, with no plans in New York, would be a recipe for disaster. Therefore, our son Menachem and his wife moved in and supervised Eli so he could finish his last month of school. Yet again, we had to make a daunting, yet quick decision about where to live. Monsey was close enough to Manhattan, where Dovy would be receiving monthly treatments, and it was home to a program that would serve Eli’s needs. Everything happened so fast, at a disorienting, dizzying speed. Despite all the chaos, there were countless moments of hashgacha pratis throughout our journey, many more than I can share in one article. I took courses and became certified in positive psychology before my children’s medical needs became my fulltime job. This training, in addition to working on my emunah and bitachon, allowed us to remain optimistic and connected to Hashem in the most trying of circumstances. By allowing us to live in Eretz Yisrael for nine months, I feel like Hashem brought us especially close, into the womb, so to speak, to prepare for the journey ahead. It’s one thing to say you have emunah and bitachon, and quite another to actively live it every day. The fact that Dr. Shneider chose to devote his life to creating treatments related to the FUS gene, is pure siyata Dishmaya. This form of ALS is particularly aggressive. The majority of patients with Dovy’s diagnosis pass away or have a trach within less than a year after their diagnosis. Incredibly, this treatment was brand new; only one other person received it before Dovy. That patient’s family did all the legwork, fighting for it in advance of FDA approval. It was only due to this that Dovy was able to start treatment within six weeks.

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SPECIAL THEME SECTION

By November of 2019, Dovy was losing ground at an alarming rate. My husband and I consulted with Rav Chaim Kanievsky and he consented that we should add a name for Dovy. With Rav Chaim’s agreement, we chose Simcha because we wanted to connect to Hashem with simchah especially in the face of this nisayon. Simcha Dov has been a role model in complete acceptance. I find it amazing that, whenever asked, “How are you doing?” no matter what, Simcha Dov always responds, “Great!” He is emunah peshuta personified. This carries us through and he serves as our inspiration. Each of our moves was driven by need. Where there was a problem, we sought a solution. Even now, as this goes to print, we are preparing to move back to the Holy Land. Dr. Shneider has done all he could for Dovy and the treatments are coming to an end. Although it did not reverse his condition, it definitely slowed the progress of the disease. Simcha Dov has lost nearly all physical function at this point. Baruch Hashem, he has defied doctors’ predictions and after nearly three years is not on a trach. He uses an eye-gaze computer to communicate, by visually typing, but it’s exhausting. An aide comes to the house but hours are dwindling due to corona-induced unemployment benefits. Hopefully, this will improve in Israel as live-in aides can be hired to assist in the round-the-clock caregiving. This time around, baruch Hashem, my husband is moving with the family. Flying Simcha Dov to Eretz Yisrael is fraught with challenges, but we remain positive as we work through all of the technicalities. There is no room for error with someone as medically fragile as our son. Our kids in Israel are working incredibly hard to take care of every detail in our apartment to ensure we have a safe and smooth arrival. Rav Gamliel Rabinowitz once said that the exact way Simcha Dov’s disease came – slow and mysterious – is the way it will leave. We look forward to that day, hopefully with the coming of Moshiach, bekarov. Please, continue to daven for Simcha Dov Ber ben Chaya Fraida (Aliza’s full name). A fund has been set up to help support Simcha Dov and his family through their challenges. Please reach out to Wellspring for more details. Mrs. Rifky Amsel is a veteran mechaneches, former principal, and is currently an educational consultant and writer/editor in Lakewood, NJ. 88

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boneiolam WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

SPECIAL THEME SECTION

Oh, the Places You’ll Go By Brucha Lopian 6,195 miles is a long distance. And the distance seems even greater when it spans different continents, time zones, languages, and cultures. But sometimes (when you’re not the character in the plot!) life circumstances can almost be dubbed humorous. Like when a born-andbred Israeli family gets deposited in foreign—almost alien— Cincinnati. The journey began when Racheli, our five-year-old daughter, was born with esophageal atresia, a condition in which part of the esophagus is attached to the trachea. In the process of correcting the issue, her vocal cords were damaged, and she was to remain on a tracheostomy. After trying multiple lines of treatment and therapies in Eretz Yisrael, the renowned medical askan of Ezra L’Marpeh, Rabbi Elimelech Firer, directed us to Cincinnati Children’s Hospital, which is acclaimed for their expertise in treating this specific 90

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issue. Racheli is the oldest of three, and so our fledgling family took the plunge and relocated to Cincinnati for several months. Sukkos is a nice metaphor to describe our temporary move, but truthfully, the transience we’ve experienced doesn’t fully reflect the positive vibe normally associated with a Yom Tov. When you have to quit your job, say good-bye to family, give up your apartment, and deal with an avalanche of bureaucratic red tape, you don’t feel like you just stepped into a cozy abode for a few days. However, Sukkos is about allowing ourselves to be embraced in the hug of Hashem and to feel His presence in a more tangible, real way—and that is an certainly an apt description for the roller coaster we’ve been on for the last few months. Throughout this time, we’ve made

the choice to notice the hugs coming our way. For one, Cincinnati is blessed with a beautiful and generous Jewish community. We were warmly welcomed from the moment we arrived, and the chessed organizations that have been helping us along the way are truly incredible. During our time here, we’ve noticed the nuances that make a chessed a true chessed. There are people who nonchalantly offer vague assistance, but there are those who actually knock on the door holding a tray of goodies or a hot meal. One of many remarkable acts of kindness occurred during the two weeks the kollel families were on vacation. Of the dozens of families in Cincinnati’s vibrant community, almost all had left the city, and only us and two or three others stayed behind. My children, having been out of school for weeks, were desperate for a semblance of social life. I asked a neighbor if any

of the remaining families had kids my daughter could play with. She mentioned one, and gave me their contact info, but I felt uncomfortable and never actually made the call. Yet on Shabbos, these children simply showed up to play with my children. The mother had gone out of her way to find out where we lived and brought her kids over. That meant so much to us. At the same time, on the other side of the ocean, people from the community we left behind have been engaging in chessed from afar. Friends and family members keep checking in and cheering us on. With today’s technology, so many people have made the effort to brighten our day and make us feel cared for despite the physical distance. Often it’s the small, seemingly insignificant factors that make all the difference and have given us a sense of comfort amid so much upheaval. We were very fortunate to discover another Israeli family living nearby. The simple act of conversing with someone in our native tongue provided so much comfort. These new friends helped us take care of so many technical details, and our children were delighted to enjoy each other’s company. I consider this a real gift from Hashem! Living in America for just a few months has also allowed us to gain a whole new mindset and appreciation toward Americans. My family is originally from America and there are some cultural differences my husband had never quite grasped, but living here, he was finally able to understand where they’re coming from. I, too, started empathizing with my neighbors back in Israel who all come from different countries. I recall walking down the grocery aisles here when we first came, trying to figure out the jumble of unfamiliar items on the shelves, when the thought hit me that hundreds of Americans feel this way walking down the aisles of my local makolet in Israel. More importantly, I finally understood my neighbors’ longing to bring over American products, which had honestly always baffled me. Indeed, grocery shopping has been a

constant learning experience. Many times, we’ve bought items and only then discovered what they actually were. Like when I thought I’d bought baking paper, only to discover that it melted into my challos…because I’d bought wax paper instead. Along with the adventures and lessons learned, there have been plenty of obstacles to overcome, too. Once we realized that placing the children into schools at the end of the year would be too complicated, we decided to keep them home for those few months, but this turned out to be quite difficult. Not having a schedule or a social life for four months was challenging for everyone, and I had to constantly flex my patience and creativity muscles. Moving so far away from home taught me to step out of my comfort zone, and on numerous occasions I found myself pushed to do things I would normally never do. Like it or not, I had to navigate a new and unfamiliar healthcare system, and this meant setting aside my natural inhibitions to advocate effectively for my daughter. It’s never easy to ask other people for assistance, but it’s even more daunting when they seem completely foreign, coming from diverse cultures and completely different backgrounds. Yet, having no choice, I overcame my ambivalence, and this certainly facilitated inner growth. My unsolicited advice for those in a similar position is to learn to be brave and to stretch yourself beyond your current limits. You will find an enormous amount of courage and strength lying dormant within you. Another indispensable tip is to take care of yourself. You’re doing so much and working so hard; it’s imperative to treat yourself occasionally. For me, seeing a therapist once a week to simply unload the events of the week has been both refreshing and rejuvenating. I anticipate that hour, knowing it will make my week so much more manageable. For many, finances can be a significant issue when moving abroad for medical treatment. Besides the health and transportation expenses, so many additional unexpected expenses

My children, having been out of school for weeks, were desperate for a semblance of social life. crop up all the time. However, anticipating this from the start will take away the element of surprise and make things much simpler. Always remember and trust that Hashem has a plan for you. I spoke to other parents who have been down the same route and noticed a striking difference. Those who scrimped, ran around to find the cheapest stuff, and didn’t spend on any luxuries were tense and taut; they had it so much harder than those who were more relaxed and easygoing about the financial situation and placed their trust firmly in Hashem. Before we embarked on this journey, my husband and I decided to accept this challenge graciously and work on our positivity. We chose to view this as an exciting trip, a roller coaster of sorts, and ride along with the adventures that came our away. And ride along we did! There are times when we laugh at our silly English mistakes (like when we exchanged the words “discuss” and “disgust” only to have the doctors look at us strangely), times we try respect the American culture (like when my husband was speeding along the highway and then decided to slow down and drive like American out-of-towners do), and times we just have to remind ourselves that this too is for the good. This perspective is key to helping us feel Hashem’s embrace wherever He places us.

WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

SPECIAL THEME SECTION

When All Else Fails, Go To Arizona As told to Roizy Baum When my son was placed in my waiting arms right after birth, he took my breath away. “Only Hashem can create something this perfect,” I said. My husband was busy counting fingers and toes. “True,” he nodded. “Only Hashem can do this.” “I for real don’t remember such a perfect one,” I repeated, bringing him closer to me. I inhaled his scent—the Gan Eden perfume, I call it—willing it to linger. My husband looked up. “You know you say this every time, yeah?” Maybe I do, but Yossi was a truly beautiful baby in every sense of the word. Until he was really not. At first, it was crusty, flaky patches on his skin, which I was quick to dismiss as cradle cap—something all my other kids hid beneath their shock of black hair. But then I realized it was rough, dry, red, and very, very itchy. Yossi’s fingers were always on his 92

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face, digging fingernails up and down his cheeks like etched ladders. The kid was in agony. He scratched and scratched, and then scratched some more. And along with his scratching, he’d scream. Before long cuts developed on his skin inviting infection, and washing bloody sheets became a daily task. It was heartbreaking. His itching escalated to a point where we needed to tie his miniature hands to keep them away from scratching his face. Smart little boy that he was, one night we found little Yossi rubbing his bruised-up face against the spindles of the crib for itch-relief. We now not only had crib sheets to wash; the actual crib was blood-stained as well. I couldn’t bear to watch this tiny thing suffer. Day and night melded into a long-winded nightmare of screaming and scratching and scratching and screaming. He was miserable and we were all caught up in the misery, too. About the same time that we were suffering, my niece was going through

the identical situation with her own baby. Partners in pain, we supported each other. From shelling out thousands on any cream and ointment that promised results, to turning to every physical, mental, and emotional specialist we thought might shed some light, every promising option was exhausted. Still another time, junk-eaters that we are, we nursing moms nearly starved to death on a no-sugar, no-white flour diet. Some things helped slightly, most didn’t, but nothing was taking the plague away. I will never forget that Thursday. The morning found me rushing out in a tsunami of last-minute homework-sheet signatures, half-eaten sandwiches and forgotten lunch bags, breathlessly making it to the school bus. By some miracle nobody missed their ride. I walked back into the house, a shrieking Yossi heavy in in my arms, my own eyelids a lot heavier. Incompetence was pointing from every direction. Shabbos was coming but there was not a sign of it any-

where. Purim was also around the corner, but who had brain space to even remember? Looking around at the mess in my house, it was almost hard to believe that my home had once functioned on an organized system my friends would envy. “Hashem,” I implored, knowing there must be something, at least something to do. “I have other children to take care of, too.” “What about Arizona?” my husband asked me later when he called from his office. “Didn’t you say people saw miracles?” “I did. But it’s not realistic. What are we going to do with everyone for six weeks?” Apparently, Arizona was the lonely stone we hadn’t yet turned over. The question was not if we were going; the question was when. “If Arizona is the solution, Arizona it is. I’m calling you right back with numbers of people who did it. I know that Shimon’s brother-in-law was there this winter with two kids.” True to his word, my husband called back five minutes later. I jotted down the phone numbers and promised to get to work. I outlined my predicament to a handful of wonderful, compassionate women while my hands attacked the overflowing laundry basket. Pajamas paired, socks sorted, tops teamed up. Hurry, hurry, hurry. Yossi’s nap never exceeded an hour, and whatever got done while fleeting peace reigned in my disordered abode was considered a bonus. The women were encouraging yet realistic, as they outlined what the six-week trip would entail. “You’ll need a lot of outside help to pull this through. A lot.” They all told me about the wonderful Yidden of Casa Grande in Arizona. “Guaranteed, they’ll help you navigate your way around and be there for anything you may need.” Only later, when I lived there for nearly two months, did I learn the true extent of their kindness. So I was not exactly the Nachshon, but it was a huge leap nonetheless. After too many back-and-forth

phone calls to count, the plan was finalized. I was going to do this with my niece. We were both going to travel to Arizona with our families, the men would return to Brooklyn with the kids, and we would stay in Arizona for the remainder of the time. Being that the recommended stint is six weeks, my husband and I felt that Pesach would be the easiest (can it even be called easy?) on the kids because of the two weeks of school vacation Nissan afforded. “This way,” my husband offered, “we’ll only be separated for four weeks and not six.” My sister-in-law, my niece’s mother, took the bait. “We’re making a vacation out of it. We’re joining you for Pesach!” Sounds like a five-star retreat. Pesach in Arizona. Does it get any cooler than that? But we don’t mish, and our strict minhagim meant that Pesach started quite early in Brooklyn. Everything had to be prepped and cooked in advance because we wouldn’t have a full Pesach kitchen there. Blessed with a warm family from both sides, our parents and siblings sprang in to make it happen. They went above and beyond to bring our plan to fruition. Offers started pouring in and I didn’t even have to make one phone call to divide my kids. People were offering to take my kids for a full month. I cried so much just thinking about being separated from my kids for a month that my sister joked I have one less thing to prepare for Pesach—salt water.

everyone just fine. But two weeks passed very quickly. Although it would have been beautiful for my husband to stay, the exorbitant expenses that came along with this form of treatment had to be covered and he was our breadwinner. The days were serene, the views were picturesque and my workload almost nil. But it was like being on an endless vacation trip while leaving your heart at home. I was not with my kids, I was not on my time zone, I was simply not home. And don’t forget, I was considered lucky because I had my niece. Many brave women do this all alone. When a fresh bout of homesickness kicked in, my source of comfort was that Yossi was improving tremendously. We literally saw a difference with every passing day. The sun, like a magic eraser, gradually removed the blemishes. First the inflammation, then the redness, and finally, the flaky, crusted skin. I was used to keeping a nail clipper in the zipper compartment of the diaper bag, for whenever Yossi’s nails were just about sprouting, I’d jump to clip them. But now, because he wasn’t obsessed with scratching his face all day, I was able to give his nail clipper a break, too.

Yossi’s screaming was almost becoming bearable now that a solution was in sight. “We should get bumper stickers,” I said to my husband the night before our flight while trying to pack and rock a carriage simultaneously. “When all else fails, go to Arizona.” Yossi eyes were fluttering unsteadily as sleep finally overcame him. I gently tucked his blotchy fists into his sleeves in hope that at least for the next few hours, he should not further aggravate his eczema.

When the four weeks were finally up, it was as if I’d given birth to a new (oversized) baby. Balloons and streamers and posters welcomed us home. Our family was finally reunited. I plopped down on the couch trying to find the bag of goodies I’d brought back for the kids. They were suddenly shy in my presence, but I knew it would be a matter of time before the bashfulness would dissolve. Yossi hugged my knees and I noseto-nosed with him from my place on the couch. I turned to my husband, who was unsuccessfully trying to get a helium balloon down for Mimi. “Only Hashem,” I said as I caressed a smooth cheek.

The beginning of the trip was fun. New place, tranquil life (my kids could not fathom why we don’t live there all year), cousins round the clock. I almost regretted packing clothing for the little ones—pajamas all day suited

He secured the ribbon in his palm and handed the balloon to Mimi. Then, he picked up Yossi and threw him up in the air. A tinkling laughter followed. “Only Hashem. Only Hashem can do this.”

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The Inside Picture By Breindy Rothchild Sometimes, all you need to do is take a step back and view the big picture. Otherwise, you see blotches of color with no meaning or form. Some days during our difficult months in faraway Florida felt that way—an array of complicated details and incomprehensible occurrences— but we reminded ourselves all along that we were looking at details of a masterpiece. In retrospect, it felt more like a few years than a few months, and indeed, the inner growth that transpired during that brief period of time may never have happened had the circumstances been less challenging. 94

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I can speak of Hinda’s life for days on end, without repeating details. Her life is one of ups and downs, thrills and pains, love and tears, color and darkness. Her saga began when she was just two years old. On that fateful night, our precious little girl was stricken with an aggressive, potentially fatal form of meningitis. Within a few hours, our previously healthy girl was battling death. The doctors had already given up and the family was summoned to spend the last few hours with her. However, Hashem had another plan, a unique plan for her—one that would offer the gift of life, but on different “terms.” To everyone’s surprise,

Hinda miraculously recovered from the illness, without suffering any brain damage, but she was left with other serious complications. Meningitis damages blood vessels, and extremities starved from blood and tissue quickly begin to die. In Hinda’s case, her hands and feet were severely impacted because of the dead tissue, rendering them virtually useless. This was heartbreaking for us, but at the same time, we realized we had witnessed great miracles. Here was a child whose grim prognosis was death, but she’d woken up without any brain damage. While the meningitis had

serious repercussions on her health, we felt blessed to have experienced such a miraculous outcome. Then came seven grueling years of doctor’s visits, hospital stays, appointments, and endless therapy sessions. We covered the gamut of therapies and lines of treatment, but when recovery wasn’t progressing, we turned to Rabbi Elimelech Firer, the renowned medical askan in Israel, for guidance. He scrupulously reviewed the case, and ultimately guided us to the Paley Institute in Florida, promising we’d find expertise in the orthopedic department there. I remember those few hours after he gave us this piece of information. I was in a daze. As native Israelis, neither my husband nor I had ever been to America before. We had never experienced American culture up close and I was more familiar with Arabic than English (though after spending so much time in the US, I did pick up the language, even delivering a lecture to the hospital staff one day. Where there’s a will there’s a way!). Having grown up all my years in Bnei Brak, America was as far to me as the moon. Besides, I had a family of 11 to care for—and going to America meant leaving them behind for over four months! I was wrapped in my thoughts, doubts, and concerns for days, until we finally decided to let Hashem lead us to where we were meant to be. The days leading up to our trip were hectic. Not only were we in the month of Tishrei (we flew on Isru Chag Sukkos), but we had a dizzying number of details to attend to before we left. We were c-l-u-e-l-e-s-s about the process. The only contact we had was a kind Yid in West Palm Beach, whom I can only call a tzaddik, who helps families coming to the Paley Institute. And if you’re picturing a young strapping askan, this man is likely over 90 now, though young at heart and spirit. He arranged an apartment for us and assured us he

On that fateful night, our precious little girl was stricken with an aggressive, potentially fatal form of meningitis.

would be with us throughout. The packing was strenuous and confusing. I recall packing food to last us over two weeks, because I wasn’t sure we’d find kosher food in the vicinity. (These days, some big supermarkets in West Palm Beach sell kosher items, but back then the closest kosher food stores were in Boca Raton, about a 40-minute drive from where we were staying.) Before we had a chance to process what was happening, we found ourselves bidding tearful goodbyes to our family and boarding our flight en route to Florida. We felt like Avraham Avinu leaving Charan to an unknown place, with no realistic plan as to how this would work. As much as this was tough and challenging for everyone, we couldn’t help but notice the bright spots along the way. We were privy to the most incredible acts of chessed. I remember walking up to our new place, soon to be called home, with my mind in

disarray, trying to figure out what we’d need in the new apartment. But I needn’t have worried. Imagine my shock and relief when we walked into a fully stocked apartment, graciously arranged by this tzaddik who helped us sort out the logistics. Even more so, he didn’t leave our side for the next few weeks, in order to help us find our way around despite the language barrier. He was in and out of the hospital, even following my daughter up to the operating room. He helped us communicate with the staff and showed us around the local stores. On Hinda’s birthday, just a few days after her surgery, he took us to the Playmobil Fun Park, where we spent a few hours of distraction and pleasure together. We became briefly acquainted with another American Yid who had come to the Institute with his own daughter. He was ordering food for himself from New York for the upcoming Shabbos, and he offered to order for us too, as had we no other plans. We agreed, expecting two slices of fish and two portions of chicken soup. That week Thursday had us busy with Hinda’s therapy all day. Exhausted and haggard, we walked up the steps to our apartment only to find two large boxes filled with every imaginable Shabbos food and delicacy. It’s difficult to describe how cared for and loved we felt at that moment. The abundant food covered our weekday meals, too, which was such a help for us. And the chessed didn’t stop there. For four months, every week without fail, we received those grand Shabbos packages from a fellow Yid with a big heart who barely knew us. Any distant relative who was coming to Florida would also offer to bring us something. One of my cousins was in Miami for a few days, and made the trip to visit (about an hour’s drive), bringing some goodies for Hinda and spending quality time with us. These visits were such a treat for us in our social desert.

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Chai Lifeline was also a beacon of light. They helped us with so many details and provided entertainment on several occasions. Despite the circumstances that had led us here, I consider myself privileged to have experienced such exceptional kindness. These people were Hashem’s messengers; they helped us see the light through this dark period. But of course, no picture is complete without some dark, painful blotches. The hardest part of our journey was watching the agony our precious girl endured. The surgeries and intense therapy sessions left her in unfathomable pain, and we as parents couldn’t do much to ease it. I remember keeping a “medication” calendar where I marked her 20plus daily medications including many painkillers. There were days when nothing could distract her from her sheer agony—not food, entertainment, or music. Those days were undoubtedly the hardest. Leaving behind a family of children is every parent’s nightmare. My youngest child, just six years old at the time, was especially connected to me and understandably took our move extremely hard. He would keep track of how many kisses I “owed” him (over 1,000 at some point) and

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I recall packing food to last us over two weeks, because I wasn’t sure we’d find kosher food in the vicinity. would need me to constantly speak with him. In the beginning, I recorded him the lullabies I sang to him every night, but after three days my older daughter had to stop him, because he would cry for the next hour after listening to me sing. Our move was emotionally challenging on every

level, and it impacted our children’s wellbeing. In fact, two of my children required therapy to help them deal with what they had endured. What kept us going was the knowledge that Hashem gives everyone the strength to handle their unique challenges, and that my children had the tools to deal with this. Financially, my husband’s store suffered greatly because he wasn’t present. I work as a social worker, and my clinical practice was completely closed those months; it took some time to rebuild my clientele afterward. Needless to say, our financial situation was very difficult. But when we faced these hardships, we reminded ourselves to look at the big picture, see how much chessed we were receiving from Hashem, and remember that this too was for the good. It would be nice to conclude with a happily-ever-after ending. However, we are still traveling back and forth, trying different therapies, and doing whatever we can to improve Hinda’s life and ability to function well. Life is all about challenges and we accept them with the knowledge that ultimately, it’s the hurdles that paint the most beautiful masterpiece of all.

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WELLSPRING COMMUNITY

Leg Cramps In this space, we feature a health-related question or predicament submitted by a Wellspring reader. Fellow readers are invited to participate in the conversation by sharing their tried-and-true advice and suggestions. Join the community!

What can I do to help prevent or alleviate leg cramps during pregnancy? These cramps can get really painful, especially when they happen in the middle of the night. You may be low on potassium. Eating foods that are high in potassium, such as kiwi, bananas, or cantaloupe, is a great way to get some of the nutrients you need to prevent muscle cramps. - P.M.

Stretching my muscles before going to bed really helped me. Stand at arm’s length from a wall, place your hands on the wall in front of you, and move your right foot behind your left foot. Slowly bend your left leg forward, keeping your right knee straight and your right heel on the floor. Hold the stretch for about 30 seconds, being careful to keep your back straight and your hips forward. Don’t rotate your feet inward or outward. Switch legs and repeat. - Shira L.

You might not want to hear it, but what really did the trick for me was wearing compression stockings and very supportive shoes (i.e., sneakers). I know they don’t look the most feminine or attractive, but they’re worth it. Health and sanity come first. (They help so much with varicose veins too.) - D. Lipkowitz

There are many remedies that I have tried in the past, but the only idea that actually helped me was placing my foot directly on the (cold) floor with gentle pressure for about thirty seconds. The cramp disappeared instantly. - Pnina R. I found that whenever I didn’t drink enough during the day, I experienced muscle cramps at night. Make sure you’re properly hydrated every single day. It helped to carry a water bottle around with me all the time. - Judy M.

Next Up: I’m of average weight, am not pregnant, and I suffer terribly from heartburn. What has worked for you to alleviate heartburn? WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

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10 Questions for

Zelig Friedman Founder and director of FA M I LY C E N T E R

Tantzers in a Nutshell: Founded in 2010, Tantzers helps patients experiencing acute medical illnesses, and their families, by bringing joy to their lives through entertainment, events, private parties, and more. Their mission statement encapsulates it all: “Healing with the power of joy.”

By Esther Retek

1. What motivated you to launch Tantzers? I’ve always been passionate about bringing joy into people’s lives and was often invited to simchos where families needed some uplifting. In 2010, a grandfather asked me to step into his grandchild’s wedding and be mesameach the chassan, since he didn’t have a large circle of friends. Unfortunately, the grandfather had to be admitted to the hospital right before the wedding, which made the atmosphere even more dismal. But as per his request, I gathered a small group of people and we joined the wedding, trying to bring joy to the family. After dancing the night away, we realized that the hospitalized grandfather could use some entertainment too. Without hesitation, we drove over to the hospital and conducted a proper mitzvah tantz with him—gartel, badchan, and all. It was late at night, but we were swept up in the emotions of the scene, with the tearful grandfather basking in the moment and forgetting all his woes. This incident led me to realize how crucial entertainment can be for families going through difficult times, and it catapulted the first initiative of the Tantzers: bringing joy to simchos that are incomplete for whatever reason. Even now, after branching out to many different projects, people primarily associate us with weddings and bar mitzvahs because that’s where the seeds of our organization were planted. With time, we realized the tremendous need to bring joy into the lives of people going through difficult medical challenges. We started low scale, working with just a few families, when sadly, my incredible co-director, Zishe Rosenbaum, was injured in a car accident, which left him in a comatose state until this day. His brother Shauly then stepped in and, together, we started many new projects as a zechus for Zishe’s refuah. The growth and expansion of the organization has been unbelievable and incomprehensible. We currently need a fleet of over 425 volunteers (!) and a separate men’s and women’s division to cater to the demands of the organization. We host a minimum of two events weekly, send out dozens of volunteers privately to patients, and still join simchos on an almost nightly basis.

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2. As the founder of the organization, what are the demands of your position in a typical day? An average day has me arranging dozens of visits between patients and volunteers, handling requests, forming relationships with the families, planning and overseeing the countless technicalities that go into each event, and recently, dealing with our exciting new playroom. Located in Brooklyn, the playroom is our most recent addition and has baruch Hashem been met with great excitement. We invested in a large play area and stocked it with every imaginable toy, crafts, and other forms of entertainment. Children come there to eat supper every night and enjoy the play time. Unfortunately, soon after opening the place, we quickly became tight on space and are currently looking to move. We’re hoping to find something bigger very soon. Attending simchos and arranging the groups is also time-consuming.

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3. What is the greatest challenge in running the organization? Since our volunteers are ultimately the ones carrying out the organization’s mission, it is imperative that they are right for the job. Each and every volunteer deserves a standing ovation considering the time and koach they invest in helping people, but recruiting these volunteers is no easy feat. Another major struggle is setting and enforcing our policy regarding which families qualify to participate at our events. In theory, we’d love to have everyone join for as long as they feel the need, however, due to financials, we must set guidelines. Enforcing these is never pleasant for either us or the beneficiaries, but we try to do it with utmost tact and recently developed a system that works for all. And of course, there’s the fundraising. You may have heard about Tantzers, but you’ve never come across a fundraising campaign for our organization. Our numbers don’t make sense, and covering our budget is a miraculous feat, but our organization exists because of the benevolence of donors who contribute privately to this worthy cause. We also try to ensure that every dollar that comes in benefits the families directly. Everyone involved in Tantzers is a volunteer, and we don’t have proper “headquarters,” so this keeps our overhead minimal.

4. Can you share a story with us that highlights the work Tantzers does? Every participant can share a story. There’s a young woman suffering from a severe medical illness who barely, if ever, steps out of her house— but she never misses a single Tantzers event. She recently mentioned that she looks forward to each event because it’s the only time she leaves her house. She even purchased a nice outfit to enjoy solely at our events. This is her life, the people she meets are her friends, and the events are little specks of light in a life of so much darkness. Another patient, who was going to Cleveland for treatments, joined one of our events in Brooklyn just before leaving and had a grand time. The family, trying to cheer him up, asked us to send some volunteers to Cleveland for him. In general, we like to take the patient and family out and not entertain in their homes, because going out generates more excitement and builds anticipation. Additionally, the atmosphere is less somber, and the patient gets more easily distracted from their pain. Since this is our usual set-up, we decided to do so in Cleveland too. We rented a house, set up lavish food, and prepared a roster of entertainment. The atmosphere was festive, with music and dancing and smiles all around. It was a memorable event. A month later, the patient unfortunately passed away, but the parents still tell us what a boost of energy and chizuk we gave them, which helped them through that difficult month. Another patient, also in a hospital in the Midwest, was in a very grim situation. Having been to a previous event, the father asked us to come but notified us in advance that the patient might not be able to join if he couldn’t come out of the hospital. We went right ahead and prepared a gala event with great entertainment. Since we knew the boy had a special affinity for Shabbos, we prepared a beautiful mock seudah in the middle of the week, followed by a moving musical kumzitz of Shabbos songs. The boy, unfortunately, couldn’t join in person, but watched the event via Zoom. Our volunteers then spent time with the father and gave him much-needed chizuk. Sadly, the boy passed away just one week later, but the father repeatedly shared that our determined efforts to bring joy to his child and family gave them tremendous koach and encouragement to move on. These incidents also taught us the importance of taking action as soon as a request comes our way. Every request is urgent, and we can never know if delaying an event may cause us to miss an opportunity forever. Also, if it takes us too long to prepare an event a patient wishes for, they may they lose their excitement and no longer want to go ahead with it, so we try to fulfill requests without delay.

5. Tell us of an episode that reflects the hashgachah you’ve witnessed in running the organization. We constantly have experiences that feel like messages from Above, ensuring us that we are doing wonderful work for Klal Yisrael. In the past year, prior to our Chanukah event, our board was seriously debating whether or not we should go ahead with it. On one hand, it had been a tough year for everyone, especially medically challenged individuals as they’d had to be strictly isolated. However, considering the number of events we run monthly, many weren’t sure if a grand Chanukah event was so vital, since most families would engage in some form of partying over Chanukah. While we were weighing up the dilemma, I received a call from a woman whose family frequently joins our events, asking me when our Chanukah party was scheduled for. She explained that she was about to book surgery for her son, but she didn’t want it to coincide with the occasion as her family would not miss a single Tantzers event. I was speechless. Here we were, debating whether or not to go ahead with it, and right there Hashem sent us this direct message of how important our events are to patients and their families.

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6. What do you wish people would know regarding the organization? People mainly associate our organization with crowd-dancing at simchos. It’s important to know that we offer a variety of other services, and our events are currently our main venue of entertainment. Anyone in need can reach out to us. People also don’t realize to what lengths we go to ensure confidentiality. At simchos, for example, we always aim to blend in with the crowd, pretending to be part of the family and friends. We’re always related to the “other” side and manage to be mesameach in a very discreet, inconspicuous manner. In fact, it’s common for people to attend a wedding without knowing that there are Tantzers volunteers right there, bringing in the spirit and joy. 110

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7. Can you share the details of one of your events? One of our most successful events took place during the winter of 2020 at the American Dream Mall in Meadowlands. The massive entertainment complex had recently debuted and was a coveted location, so at first thought, renting it out seemed outlandish—but we managed to do so, accommodating over 1,600 patients along with their parents and siblings. The invitations to the event were met with great enthusiasm. One parent shared that her child counted down the days as if it were sefirah. Over 200 families joined us that night. We arranged busing from New York, New Jersey, and wherever patients were coming from. Every guest received a Tantzers T-shirt, which contributed to the great sense of camaraderie. The women and girls spent their day in the amusement park, mini golf, and ice-skating, while the men enjoyed their time in the waterpark. We then served a gala dinner, and the event concluded with an epic science show, performed by Yochanan Ghoori, the Incredible Science Guy. American Dream Mall is completely wheelchair accessible, which allowed everyone to participate. Some volunteers even pushed wheelchair-bound patients on the ice rink. There were many more surprises and treats throughout the day, including cotton candy for the kids—and that was just one event.

8. What’s the best part of the work you do?

9. What’s the toughest part of the work you do?

The crux of our work is to fulfill our mission to our families, and this makes for the best and toughest parts too. It’s a zechus to be in a position where you can bring joy into people’s lives, especially as they’re going through something difficult. The work involves a tremendous investment of time, energy, and resources, but seeing the joy, sensing the happiness, and hearing the feedback is by far the best part. It’s what keeps me and my amazing team going.

Bringing joy to families in need can be tough at times. Dynamics are very individual and what makes one patient smile may be accepted very differently by another. We work hard to form relationships with the families. We become a part of them, and learn to understand what they need and when. We also work very individually, providing tailor-made events for the family. And still, we’re ever cognizant of our need for a tremendous amount of siyata d’Shmaya to ensure that our work will uplift and boost the spirits of our recipients.

10. How do you manage the stress that comes along with the work you do? Running such a high-steam organization is stressful, but seeing and hearing the difference our projects make is all we need to keep forging onward. We don’t expect to receive much verbal feedback, especially considering how difficult it can be for families to articulate their gratitude during such times. But comments like, “We look forward to the events for weeks,” or “The events keep us going,” give us the much-needed energy, motivation, and creativity to keep doing our important work.

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SAMPLE By Libby Silberman

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Experiment: Reflexology This month, we’re venturing into new territory: reflexology. What is it? What can it do? Does it really work? Here goes the truth. I co-moderate a fantabulous niche forum that is mostly comprised of young moms and young-at-heart moms. Despite its function for a specific purpose, the minute you’ve got 1,934 women in one place (virtually, but anyway), there’s bound to be lots and lots of off-topic chatter. Forum members constantly post questions related to the health of their families, simply to get advice and ideas from others. Case in point (and believe me, this is just a teeny-weeny sampling of both questions and answers): My baby has had four ear infections within the past three months alone. Any ideas? Replies: Try garlic. Warm olive oil. Reflexology. Craniosacral therapy. Looking for solution for constipation in a two-year-old Replies: Try xxx over the counter. Increase his water intake. Reflexology.

Hi everyone, Libby here, and welcome back to my lab! First, a giant shout-out for the multiple letters the lab has received in the past month. I’m so glad you’ve joined me in the quest to get health crazes straight and chuck the baloney among them. Despite all the extra work, loads of you have jumped into nurturing sourdough starters and baking bread. Vegetable fermenters, keep going! Winter is coming and those probiotics will keep you and your children strong straight through the flu season, b’ezras Hashem. (I just dumped two beautiful jars of fermented beets that were approaching expiration. What a shame. But I’ve got to be real that real people have real taste buds. Does that sentence have a reality check or what?) Regards from all of you jumping weighted ropes and getting fit; Jump into Shape reports an uptick in Wellspring-readers sign-ups. Thanks for your questions, contributions, and fan mail. We love them!

Any tips for a seven-year-old bed wetter? Replies: Dr. Sagi. The nighttime alarm. Reflexology. Reduce liquid before bedtime. My daughter has been terribly congested all winter. I thought it’d disappear by summertime, but here we are, in May, and the kid still has a stuffy nose. Please, any and all advice appreciated. Replies: Take her off milk. Reflexology. Craniosacral therapy. See an ENT.

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As you’ve noticed, reflexology is on the list of recommendations literally 50 percent of the time. (Okay, so I deliberately shared examples here in which reflexology was touted as a solution, but it does come up often). And this got me wondering, how can one mode of treatment cure so many different ailments? Can it at all? When a Wellspring reader submitted “Reflexology—what’s the truth?” as a Sample dare, I knew it was a go. First things first, I logged into the archives of the forum and searched the word “reflexology” in the past 18 months. Guess how many results came up? 288 That’s right. Reflexology, a treatment that focuses on massaging the soles of the feet, was either recommended or discussed 288 times in 18 months. A closer look revealed that it was touted as effective treatment for migraines, sinus infections, colds, flu, immune system, colic in babies, reflux, gassiness, coughs, insomnia, cycle regulation, hormonal issues, natural labor induction, nursing clean, ear infections, asthma, digestive issues, seasonal allergies, incontinence, bed-wetting, and thyroid issues. And that’s only from the first fifty posts. I got tired searching after a while. To find out if this alternative treatment is indeed the cureall solution, and since baruch Hashem, I cannot come up with a comprehensive list of ailments within my immediate family, I turned outward in search for some lab rats, ahem, yeah…you know what I mean. First, I contacted popular Jerusalem-based reflexologist Gitty Friedman. This Belgium native is an expert in reflexology and other alternative treatments, and she was excited to join Wellspring in the lab. We canvassed trial participants over the next two weeks by advertising our limited test group. Eager applicants (discounts talk, loudly) signed up, and Gitty and I selected participants with varying issues to give us a good picture of the types of conditions reflexology can be helpful for. The condition Gitty had to agree to was full and honest reporting…by the participants themselves. Even if her work would be deemed a total failure, participants would be permitted to freely share their reflexology experience with Wellspring. It is important to note that no two cases of any condition are alike, meaning that even if your child is the same age and suffers from the same issue as a trial participant you read about below, by no means does that guarantee similar results using similar modalities. Discuss each case with a competent practitioner, follow the treatment protocol, and daven for success. Without further ado, let’s hand the mic to our honored trial participants. Thank you for joining! (Due to the sensitive nature of several trial participants’ issues, not all studies have been recorded here. Names and identifying details have been changed.)

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Getting to the Bottom of It Here’s a partial list of the various ailments that reflexology can be helpful for, as well as the number of sessions Gitty recommends in each case. Please be advised that the number of sessions required have been estimated based on Gitty’s experience. The amount may also vary depending on the complexity of the issue and how long it’s been going on for. Hormonal issues: • Clearing up after birth (3–4 sessions) • Nursing clean (4 sessions) • Painful cycles, PMS, irregular cycles (can take up to 3 months of weekly sessions) • Balancing hormones and easing fertility issues • Curing ovarian cysts (4–6 sessions) • Balancing insulin levels in diabetics (longer-term sessions) • Natural induction for overdue moms (1–3 sessions) • Helping PPD (not to replace medication, but if it’s caught very early, it can naturally support balancing of hormones)

Rivka Zeidman, 22, mother of 2

SAMPLE

Case background: My five-month-old baby has suffered from ear infections on and off for a while, and only gets better with antibiotics. He also has really bad reflux and is frequently an unhappy camper. Gitty: Start treatment when his ears are entirely clear. I would recommend sessions once a week, and slowly go down to once in two weeks. Eventually, you can stretch to once a month. I’d estimate that this will take anywhere between 4–8 sessions, and up to 12 if the problem stems from fluid in the ear. As a general rule, the younger the child, the sooner the results.

• Alleviating symptoms of menopause Rivka’s reflexology journal

Digestive issues: • Colicky babies and reflux (4–6 sessions plus useful tips to implement at home) • IBS/Crohn’s (alleviates ger-term sessions)

symptoms,

lon-

• Constipation/diarrhea (1+) Other issues • Migraines (4–6 sessions) • Recurring ear infections (varies greatly, generally 4–8) • Sinus infection (varies greatly, average of 6 sessions) • Immune boost (children: 6 sessions, adults: 9 sessions. Note: starting sessions 6 weeks before winter season can boost immunity tremendously against colds and flu) • Respiratory issues, e.g., coughs, asthma (average 6 sessions) • Circulatory issues (4–10 sessions)

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Session 1: The session was very relaxing for my baby. No change anticipated, nor any change observed. Session 2: Again, I’m not seeing results, but Gitty said it’s too early for that. Maybe his reflux isn’t as bad as usual? He is definitely less cranky in the evenings. Session 3: After this session I saw a marked improvement in his reflux. He is more relaxed and not in pain. He came down with an ear infection over the weekend, but I didn’t rush into putting him on antibiotics yet. It cleared up on its own by Sunday evening. I haven’t returned for another session yet because of time constraints, but so far so good. It’s three weeks later and his ears are thankfully all clear and he’s mostly content.

Tziri Piller, 36, mother of 4

Case Background: My six-year-old daughter has been bed-wetting for a while. I tried many different methods, to no avail. She has also been extremely anxious in the morning about going to school, and has been complaining of stomachache that is likely linked to her anxiety. My nine-year-old son is extremely rigid and gets disturbed from every little trigger. When he walks in from cheder in the afternoon, I literally walk on eggshells trying to keep him calm.

Gitty: Reflexology can be helpful with bed-wetting. If the issue stems from a weak bladder, reflexology can strengthen the bladder’s muscles. If it the root is emotional, it can be tremendously helpful, too. There are many theories for this, an interesting one being that a child subconsciously seeks attention from his mother and receives it by bed-wetting. (Think linen change in the middle of the night…) Receiving a relaxing one-on-one reflexology session with his mother may be enough to help the child refrain from wetting. These are all subconscious elements, and we’re only touching the tip of the iceberg. Another fascinating possible explanation I heard from a famous reflexology instructor is that we frequently find bed-wetting cases among ADD/ADHD children. They have a high amount of energy in the upper parts of their body, and reflexology draws that energy downward to balance the body. This gives the child a stronger sensation of their pelvic area including the lower back, bladder, and pelvic muscle, thus helping them feel the urge to empty, which helps prevent bed-wetting incidence.

Science Spot By Gitty Friedman, Certified Reflexologist The soles of our feet are like a map of the body. All body systems and organs have a little dot on the map on our soles. Energy roots flow up and down, starting from the toes, up to the head, all the time. When an energy root gets blocked by either a physical or emotional cause, a weakness in the body can appear. We recognize these as ailments. Pressure or gentle massage that’s applied to the corresponding points on the feet kickstarts self-healing and releases blockages. Among its many benefits, reflexology improves blood circulation, boosts the immune system, relieves anxiety and tension, improves mood, and aids deep sleep.

I do not recommend reflexology for your son’s sensory issues and rigidity. I have seen cases where reflexology helped children with sensory processing difficulty, but they are few and far between. Tziri: Despite Gitty’s prediction that reflexology would not help my son, I decided to go ahead and try reflexology for both children. Reflexology can’t do any harm, and it gives a nice overall boost, ridding the body of toxins as well as rejuvenating various systems. We did treatments once a week for about five weeks, and I saw incredible results. While my daughter used to wet every other night, it diminished to one single night in the entire month. She hasn’t complained once about going to school and our morning routine has become really calm. While she used to demand that I walk her to school and into her classroom, she’s okay being walked to the corner of our street and doing the rest of the (short) walk herself. I am shocked to admit how much reflexology has relaxed and helped her.

Reproductive Organs

Reflexology didn’t help at all with my son’s sensory issues, as Gitty anticipated.

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Time to Try Reflexology Myself! The more I got to know Gitty, the more I realized that while she treats clients with reflexology, she also has a wealth of knowledge in other fields of alternative healing. That gave me a lot of confidence. Besides, it was starting to look strange that I had sent hordes of people Gitty’s way but was still sitting safely on the other side of the fence. I decided to take my three-and-a-halfyear-old daughter, Chavi, for reflexology treatment. This was in June, and she’d had a runny nose since about February, which was becoming quite a nuisance. Additionally, she complained constantly of stomach pain and had on-and-off fever every two weeks or so for about a month, which was really not typical of her, as she was generally in good health. Chavi was excited to read books on the “lady’s” bed during the treatment and was entirely relaxed as Gitty moisturized her soles before she started massaging them. As Gitty worked on Chavi’s soles, Gitty mentioned feeling a grainy texture under the parts of her sole that corresponded with her lungs. When she asked me if Chavi had just got over a cough, I was startled. How in the world did she know that? She explained that when any body part suffers from an ailment, tiny “grains” collect in the corresponding area in the sole, which enable her to easily spot the location of an illness. She worked for another few minutes on that spot until she smoothed away all the grains. She advised me to take Chavi off dairy products for a couple of weeks to augment the treatment. Gitty feels that dairy products are a trigger for many children these days

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due to all those synthetic hormones, which lower kids’ immune systems and make them more susceptible to infection. The very next day, I switched Chavi over to almond milk, soy yogurts, and mock cream cheese—no small feat in my dairy-for-breakfast-lunch-and-snacks household. After two weeks, I observed a major downturn in stomachache incidence. A month later, Chavi’s stomach pain was a thing of the past. When the Nine Days came around, I was at a loss. Fine, I’d managed nicely and avoided dairy until now, but what was I supposed to serve for Nine Day dinners? Fish and fish and more fish? Did I mention we’re not the fishiest of families? This was a good opportunity to test if the whole dairy/reflexology saga was a bunch of baloney or not. Chavi had grilled cheese for Sunday lunch and a plain slice of American cheese on Monday. Wednesday I made cheese latkes for dinner. Thursday morning, she woke up with a stomachache, but she went to day camp as usual. At half past one, her camp counselor called me to tell me that Chavi looked tired and was lying on the floor, would I like to pick her up early? I picked up my daughter ten minutes later and not a moment too soon. Five minutes later she vomited. She was shaking and crying for the next hour, until I realized she had fever. She was feverish through the night and through Friday, but thankfully by Shabbos she was back to herself. Fluke? Or real-deal lactose intolerance? Gitty suggested staying away from dairy for the time being, and I’m once again scratching my head at the million ways we can choose to interpret our worlds.

Malka Lemberger, 21, mother of 1

Case Background: Since she was born two months ago, my baby, Rochel, has been extremely gassy and uncomfortable all the time. She cries through the night and has to be held all day. I didn’t notice at first how difficult she was being because I was convalescing at my mother’s home for four weeks after the birth. Gitty: Reflexology can be tremendously helpful for reflux, gas, and other digestive issues, and you can see results quickly. The baby will likely require between 2–6 sessions.

Session 1: We did a short session, in which Rochel behaved well. She shrieked all day the next day, which I knew was possible following reflexology, but it was hard nonetheless. After a sleepless, difficult night with Rochel screaming through most of it, I called an energy healer. I’m open to exploring alternative treatments and was curious to see which modality would actually help. The practitioner said Rochel was crying so much because she was sensing all the stress going on at home. And I have to admit that it was true. I had just come home to a new life with a baby, and adjustment was rough. On top of everything, we had just been informed we needed to vacate our rental apartment within a few months due to planned construction. The healer had been correct in her diagnosis, but it didn’t help matters. Session 2: This session took place on a Thursday. On Friday, Rochel was an absolute angel. She only cried when she was hungry, and I felt like my life was finally falling into place. Shabbos was relaxing, too. At the same time, I started using the Doona to rock Rochel to sleep. It’s possible that it wasn’t the reflexology but the better positioning that helped. I had also recently stopped eating dairy products upon the recommendation of my mother, so Rochel’s magical turnaround might have been tied to that. It’s a shame I didn’t try one thing at a time to pinpoint precisely what had helped, but I’m so relieved that she’s doing better. Session 3: After this session, I had to admit that Rochel was settled and happy for the most part. But, ever the cynic, it is likely that this was because she started entertaining herself with the toys hanging from the crib and stroller mobile. Maybe she’d been crying out of boredom. I did two more sessions with Rochel, and by now, we have eased into a routine with her. She is a calm and well-adjusted little girl. It could be that she calmed down because we finally achieved some semblance of routine. It could have been the reflexology, too. But I was a die-hard questioner and remain one. Who can know the truth?

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Wrong Address Here’s a sampling of various issues trial applicants wrote in their requests, regarding which Gitty immediately told them not to waste their time with reflexology treatment. Some of these issues can be helped via reflexology, but the number of sessions required to cure them is not worthwhile. • Weight loss (unless weight gain stems from thyroid issues) • Eczema (except in some cases) • Anxiety in children (Gitty recommends 3D therapy)

Frumit Schapiro, 29, mother of 2

SAMPLE

Case background: I was experiencing terrible leg pain from the start of my eighth month of pregnancy. It wasn’t a passing cramp; it was a nonstop ache as if I’d just climbed Mount Everest by foot when I was totally out of shape. I couldn’t care for my kids and couldn’t do anything from sheer pain. By the time I saw your ads for the Wellspring trial, I hadn’t slept properly for about two weeks. I decided that reflexology is such a hock these days, it might just help me in the best case, and in the worst case…well, it wouldn’t. Just so you know, I’m a huge skeptic of all these things, but reflexology is not dependent on my wholehearted belief…

• Sensory issues • Lactose intolerance • IBS (Reflexology can relieve symptoms temporarily, but diet change is the better route to go.) • Thyroiditis (Reflexology can help regulate levels, but individual still requires a “tune-up” every few months.) • Helping a toddler learn to walk (Try reflex integration or OT.) • Baby eats well but is not gaining weight (Rule out celiac and check for small genes.) • Posture and alignment • Sensitive children • Being less tired (“Go to sleep earlier and let me know if that helps,” Gitty says with a cheeky smile.) • Recurring thrush (Reflexology can help but may take a while; there are quicker routes than reflexology) • ADHD (Reflexology can calm a child down, but it’s not a cure.) • Psoriasis (Gitty recommends visiting the Dead Sea.) • Food allergy • Sleep training (I wish!)

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Gitty Friedman: Frumit must be absolutely sure that she is not suffering from varicose veins before she even comes down. Once she has clearance on that end, I’d recommend 3–4 sessions.

Frumit’s reflexology journal Session 1: Today’s session was very relaxing and enjoyable. It was basically a glorified massage on the soles of my feet while chatting with Gitty. She happens to be interesting and pleasant company. I’m still skeptical as ever, but willing to give it a shot. Gitty warned me I might feel worse before I feel better. Friday night found me in bed crying and writhing in agony. I was glad I’d been forewarned, but I was in so much pain. Session 2: I had another session today, one and a half weeks after the first one. Gitty recommended I take a calcium/magnesium supplement, which I started immediately. Around two days later I realized my legs weren’t bothering me as much as they used to. My legs are still achy, but I can walk normally and function like a human being. I did two more reflexology sessions with Gitty, and I really felt much better overall. Here’s to a skeptic turned fan.

RESULTS:

It’s hard, my friends. Hard to reach this space where I must give my own word. It’s hard to nail results as “that’s it!” First, because there is no such thing as “that’s it!” in health and healing. Not even in the medicinal route. Second, reflexology seems to work wonders for some, and not so for others. The odds seem pretty good to me and personally, I’d advise you to give reflexology a fair shot if the treatment is known to be helpful for what you’re looking to cure. It’s relatively inexpensive and, when performed by a certified practitioner, is not reported to have caused any harm to individuals. And daven. Everything’s dust without His word.

Three women (who did not participate in the trial) share reflexology success stories. Esther Gitty Levi: My almost-three-year-old was fully toilet trained for about a month, but was experiencing tremendous tension around it. At some point, she did not let go for many hours, and eventually I realized she was not emptying for days. I called my pediatrician who encouraged me to fill her up with fluids so she would have to go. If she wouldn’t use the potty within five hours, I’d have to go to the ER as such situations can be hazardous to the kidneys. I practically flooded my daughter with fluids, but she was adamantly holding back. I even put her in a diaper, attempting to relax her and allow her to wet more comfortably. My coworker saw my state of panic and recommended reflexology. I tried Gitty Friedman, who wasn’t working that day but agreed to see me due to the urgency of the situation. She massaged my daughter’s soles, and after 20 minutes we had the happy ending we’d anxiously anticipated.

Yitty Herschler: I was almost two weeks overdue and desperately wanted to start labor naturally. After hearing about reflexology from at least five people, I tried a session, and gave birth only six hours later.

Racheli Feldman: When I feel like I’m coming down with strep, I do one or two sessions of reflexology and I feel like a new person. I have successfully avoided antibiotics a few times this way. I have also used reflexology for constipation in babies. It literally works like magic. I have also used reflexology after each of my births to help me clear up. Eventually, I loved this modality so much that I took a quick course in the basics, and now use it on my kids whenever they have a cold or an upset stomach.

Note: Do not attempt any treatment before consulting with a qualified medical practitioner. This article is for informational purposes only and is entirely based on the findings of Sample’s research experiment and Gitty Friedman’s experiences. Additionally, reflexology should not be done in the first trimester of pregnancy due to lack of evidence that it is perfectly safe in those circumstances.

Curious about a health fad but don’t want to be the experimental subject just yet? I may want to experiment with that! Send a message to info@wellspringmagazine.com, subject line “Libby’s the Sample.” Meet you in the lab!

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Cup of Tea with

Amiram Amir LOCATION: Zichron Yaakov, Israel

Amiram Amir

OCCUPATION: Alternative Healer

SINCE: 2011 AGE: 46 FAMILY: Married, 2 kids PASSION: To help people connect with and embrace their true self

HE WISHES PEOPLE WOULD KNOW: How much they can benefit from effective breathing

By Chaim Schonfeld WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

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Meeting an individual to whom thousands flock from around the country— and around the world—whose many former patients attest not only to their complete recovery, but also to the new quality of life they’ve since acquired, is not an everyday occurrence. That he’s willing and eager to share the “secrets” of his work, passionate to help as many as he possibly can, makes alternative healer Amiram Amir a true rarity. 124

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So what is his secret? What is the method that has successfully helped cure thousands not only from everyday ailments, but also from serious illnesses and chronic diseases? “What is your method?” is my first question to the 45-year-old father of two who only discovered Yiddishkeit roughly one decade ago. “The method is not mine,” Amiram is quick to point out. “It’s a method that’s been practiced for centuries.” In the words of the Rambam, the Torah scholar whose wis-

dom and guidance in medicine is highly regarded until this day: “Before you check what an ill person eats or doesn’t eat, pay attention to his breathing.” The Rambam, whose diet dictates many meticulously follow—and rightfully so—cautions us about the importance of proper breathing. Using particularly pointed words, he writes (4:1): “The first correction a sick person should implement is in his breath, then in his hydration, and then in his diet…If the breathing is not right, the entire person changes…A person

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could make many lifestyle changes, but if he doesn’t change the way he breathes and the air he breathes, he won’t experience serious improvement…Without a good breath, hakol lo shaveh klum, all other interventions are useless.” And so, says Amiram, “my technique for helping people heal is to work with their breath.” Clad in a white shirt and black slacks, his dark peyos framing his narrow face, Amiram speaks of his work with a sparkle in his eye. The trajectory of his personal life, he reflects, is directly linked to the healing work he does today. Having observed his passion toward his work—the sense of purpose with which he engages as an emissary of healing—that comes as no surprise. Born and raised in Eilat by completely unaffiliated parents, Amiram, who currently devotes most of his waking hours toward avodas Hashem, whether through helping others or to tefillah and learning Torah, only had his first encounter with Judaism at the age of 35. To illustrate the sheer extent of his ignorance, Amiram confesses, he did not know what the word “siddur” meant until then. “The first time I walked into a shul and someone asked me to hand him a siddur, I asked him, ‘What is that?’ He thought I was out to mock him; which secular Jew in Eretz Yisrael doesn’t know what a siddur is? I knew absolutely nothing, let alone the purpose for which we were created.” As a free-spirited, energetic child, Amiram’s time-out spot was the private beach his parents owned and managed. “Whenever my father wanted some peace and quiet, he sent me out there,” he relates with a laugh. An inquisitive spirit, young Amiram first explored marine life in his backyard, getting acquainted with the various species of fish that inhabit the ocean. When that lost its luster for him, he moved on to experimenting with holding his breath underwater. “It was there that I tested various breathing techniques—how to go for the longest possible stretch of time without breathing, how to store ox126

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ygen, how to focus on breath, and similar techniques, which would, unbeknown to me at the time, help thousands of people later on.”

The Rambam, whose diet dictates many meticulously follow—and rightfully so—cautions us about the importance of proper breathing.

Another area of exploration Amiram engaged in during the early years of his life, often underwater, was focusing. “I had to train myself to keep calm during my diving sprees, to put all my stress aside and be as present as possible. I intuitively understood that the more oxygen was being expended toward stress or panic, the less oxygen I would have to keep me underwater for a longer duration of time. In order to explore marine life and improve my subsurface experiences, I had to come up with techniques to not only inhale as much oxygen as possible, but also to optimize its usage.” Interestingly, he notes, most drowning incidences are a result of panic. Because oxygen is lost at a time of stress, the individual loses his battle for breath. There in his family “backyard,” young Amiram developed an appreciation and mastery of breathing techniques and meditation exercises, all the while oblivious to the purpose those tools would later play in his life. Entering adulthood, he tried his hand in several industries—construction, restaurants, and others—all of which had their ups and downs. “Throughout my time in business,” Amiram reflects, “I noticed an interesting trend. The businesses I invested heavily in ended up collapsing; my success would come davka from channels I hadn’t put that much effort into. This seemed interesting to me, but I didn’t pay much attention to it.” As a case in point, he recalls the time he entered a government lottery on beach property on the Eilat coast that would belong to the winner for the next five years. “Winning such a bid is like winning the lottery,” he explains. “The winner can use the space at their discretion, whether to enjoy it as a private resort or to build a shopping center. I was selected as the

winner, but when I came down to sign the papers, the plan fell through.” By around age 29, having experienced several such fallouts, Amiram’s curiosity had been piqued. “One day, in a moment of spontaneity, I just found myself saying, ‘Hashem, I got it. I’ve realized that You’re running the world, not me.’ These words emerged from my mouth to my great shock. I had no idea where they were coming from as I had absolutely no acquaintance with any kind of spirituality whatsoever. Today, after learning Tanya and other sefarim, I understand that it was the neshamah in me that simply cried out. And from the moment I uttered those words, it’s been a different life. In addition to coming to a place of ohr, of clarity, I felt an incredible sense of kiruv, of acceptance from Hashem, that I was being embraced by a Higher Power.” Over the next five years, Amiram recounts, he felt he was being led by a Hand from Above toward complete Torah observance and his unique calling. Although he hadn’t completely devoted his previous life toward helping others, it wasn’t an entirely new field to him once he embraced it fully. “Even when I was entrenched in the world of business, I always understood and felt the beauty in giving of my heart to others, in having others share their woes with me. I didn’t feel it was my tafkid then, because I was focused instead on acquiring my own assets. But as I began exploring Yiddishkeit, I kept noticing how Hashem was pushing me in a certain direction. He simply had mercy on me; He wanted to help me get to my mission in life.” Over the course of his research in Yiddishkeit, Amiram experienced a profound breakthrough. “As I was learning more and more sefarim, I noticed how things I had explored personally over the years were all coming together for me. All the pieces were falling into place—the purpose of illness, how it can be healed. I simply started realizing that there’s a reason for all of this, a trajectory we all must go through, and how Hashem has various vehicles in the briah through which He enables people to come closer to Him.” With his passion ignited to help others through a Torah perspective, Amiram proceeded to open Eilat’s first healing center based on Torah principles, which focused primarily on emotional issues. “After a while, however, I started noticing that for many of these people, the issues had already escalated to the point that they were also exhibiting physical symptoms.” Ever the seeker, Amiram was motivated to find out more, which led him on a learning experience. For the next few years, he studied under

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some of the most renowned alternative practitioners in the country, delving into understanding the wonders of the human body and natural healing. It was in one of those courses that he encountered the subject that brought him back to the favorite pastime of his childhood: effective breathing. “When I took that course, I felt everything coming together for me. I’d been helping people for several years, with a focus on spiritual cleansing for healing—because every ailment is essentially an indicator of imbalance in the nefesh—but learning the Rambam’s instruction on focusing on breathing clinched it for me. Our most direct access to our nefesh, after all, is through our breath.” We’ve heard of complex interventions and treatments that necessitate intensive regimens of unpronounceable drugs. But breathing? How can a simple everyday process 128

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of inhaling air and then exhaling it play such a profound role in healing? Breath is something we engage in, involuntarily, all day, every day. But here’s where it gets fascinating. While all of us breathe around the clock, Amiram clarifies, most only do so on a most minimal scale, merely to ensure survival. We inhale just the amount of oxygen to keep us alive. “In my work,” he shares, “I help the patient breathe the way he should breathe—not just for survival, but to heal and thrive. As ironic as this sounds, it’s one of the greatest chiddushim I’ve discovered in my life—that something as simple and everyday as the koach haneshimah holds the secret to better quality of life. I believe it’s one of the most undervalued wonders of Hakadosh Baruch Hu’s creation, of His umafli la’asos. It’s free, and it’s always accessible. What can be a greater gift than that?” Past articles in this publication already expounded upon

"The first time I walked into a shul and someone asked me to hand him a siddur, I asked him, ‘What is that?’"

such as through opening their mouths to allow for more air to enter their respiratory cavity. Automatically, more energy flowed through their body. That’s from a technical perspective. “From an emotional angle, in modern times people are considerably more stressed. Most people are constantly anxious, hurried, tense. Not only does stress deplete our oxygen supply, but it also causes us to take more shallow breaths, as well. At a time when we need even more energy, we ironically decrease our input by holding our breath—a subconscious mechanism we resort to when we’re afraid, anxious, or under stress.”

the benefits of breath work—of utilizing proper breath as a means for healing—many of which are listed in the sefer Minchas Yehudah, among other sefarim. In essence, Amiram asserts, the connection, which is gaining explosive credence in the mainstream world, as well, is quite simple. “Nowadays, most of us use breath just to survive,” he reiterates. Why is this more of a modern-day malady? Amiram offers a multifaceted response. “First, the physical reasons. Breath is life. It’s self-understood that the more oxygen we inhale, the more sustenance we’re able to provide to our cells. Generally, a person will inhale according to the amount of energy he requires in that moment—consider how differently you breathe when you’re running or doing an exercise class than when you’re sitting at your desk. In days of old, life was more labor-intensive on a physical scale. People engaged in heavy-duty menial tasks for which they instinctively breathed deeper and more fully,

By facilitating more wholesome breath in his patients, Amiram helps them not only open their airways, but also to open themselves up toward healing. “The first thing I do when someone comes to see me, as the Rambam advises,” he explains, “is watch how they currently breathe. They lie on a bed and literally inhale and exhale. Just by observing them, I notice whether or not they’re inhaling adequate oxygen. From there and on, different outcomes unfold. Some people, simply by breathing more fully for several minutes, already experience improvement. If they come in for everyday issues emanating from stress, they find that they’re calmer, more present, their brain fuzz lifted. For patients with illnesses, the work is more intensive.” To explain how he treats those with serious conditions, Amiram says, “First, let’s understand what disease even means. In mainstream medicine, the disease is viewed as the monster, and the one and only goal is to eliminate it. Based on what we learn in our sefarim, a disease is a message. It’s a medium through which Hashem talks to us. As the Gemara (Berachos 5a) tells us: ‘If a person sees that suffering is coming upon him, he should examine his deeds.’ There’s something Hakadosh Baruch Hu is trying to tell him through this condition. When we understand this, we view disease differently. Instead of seeing it as

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Breath is something we engage in, involuntarily, all day, every day. But here’s where it gets fascinating.

the cause, we see it as a result. From the perspective that it’s the cause, the goal becomes to eradicate it at all costs. But when it’s viewed as the result, the focus becomes the reason behind the message. “The body is essentially a window into our nefesh. Through the way the body feels and the conditions it presents, we learn about our emotional and spiritual self. When the person requires a tikkun, which does not necessarily imply that the person engaged in wrongdoing, only that Hashem has a Plan for him, Hashem may send messages through the guf. This is something that mainstream medicine does not address. We hear of people who turn over every stone to find a way to eradicate an ailment, and yet they’re still plague by their disease. This is not to say that there is no place for modern medicine. On the contrary, the Torah tells us, “Veropo yerapei,” Hashem delegates His healing, so to speak, into the hands of human doctors. Indeed, we have a duty to do our utmost hishtadlus to consult with doctors in order to preserve life, but we must also pay attention to the underlying message behind what we’re going through. The idea is not to get stuck on just finding the cure, but to keep in mind that the disease is a result, not a cause.” This is Amiram’s first message to every patient who comes in search of a cure, with a focus of ridding himself from the condition plaguing him. “I don’t play a role as a physical healer,” he states. “I don’t suggest particular diets either. While I definitely encourage leading a healthy lifestyle, I always point out that it must go in tandem with a focus on cleansing the emotional and spiritual self, as well, if we want truly effective results. No detox in the world can cleanse someone’s nefesh.” He doesn’t treat the illness directly, nor does he offer lifestyle recommendations. So what is Amiram’s role in facilitating healing? “This brings us back to what we discussed before. I open the person’s eyes to the koach of neshimah, of breathing. Oxygen, ruach, is the means through which Hashem breathed life into Adam; it’s the means through which we live every moment. If it has the capacity to bring life into a yesh mei’ayin, it certainly has the capacity to renew life into a yesh miyesh. When I help the person engage in effective breathing, he is essentially breathing new life into cells that may have been deprived 130

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of oxygen for years. In addition, when oxygen reaches certain brain cells that are mostly deprived of oxygen in the average person, certain memories come to the fore. These stored moments of past deeds and experiences help the person become better acquainted with himself, which is essential for self-development and growth, critical components of healing.” “So you simply let the person breathe, and from there things fall into place on their own?” “Yes. Lev yodeia moras nafsho. In essence we all know what we need to work on; it’s just that we often don’t let ourselves go there. We simply need to get to our ‘moment of truth.’ When we bring adequate oxygen into our brain, we open up those blocked channels. We start to connect more to our penimiyus, to our emes, in a calm state. Often, I’ll speak to the patient as he explores those places within, encouraging him to clear out past hurts and errors.” When I tell Amiram that his role in the healing seems quite hands-off, he concurs. “It really is. I’m only the shaliach; Hashem is the One who brings about the healing. Incredibly, the more clarity I have on this subject—the more of a vessel I feel like in my work—the more of a vessel of healing I become. Even if I’d convince myself that I’m doing more, that I’m the one with the magic tools, I’d also still be a puppet in the Hands of the Puppeteer—because that’s what we all are.” While Amiram is clear with his role as a messenger, however, he acknowledges that he does grasp the kochos he has as someone in that position. “It’s true that I’m just the shaliach, but Hashem has given us tools that He wants us to use as hishtadlus, and He operates through teva in this world. One of the rules of nature, as it pertains to the human body, is that much of the illnesses and ailments we struggle with nowadays are brought on by stress. From a spiritual perspective, leading back to what we discussed above, part of the tikkun is to surrender completely to Hashem, which is the ultimate de-stressor. Stress can be related to current circumstances, or even tied to traumas from the distant past. When an individual experienced any kind of trauma, regardless of how insignificant they may appear to him later in life, if he didn’t process it properly, it will continue to impact him. In the physical sense, because his brain must work harder to focus, to distract him

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Make It A Habit Ideally, we’re best off filling our lungs to capacity with every breath we take. Since oxygen brings life, this improves the function of all cells in the body. But, Amiram notes, even if we set aside only several minutes every day to breathe optimally, our physical and emotional wellbeing stand to benefit. And that’s something you can do anywhere, anytime. Amiram’s instructions are simple, yet effective: Lie flat on your back, in a comfortable position. Using both your mouth and nose to breathe, take a deep breath, filling your entire respiratory cavity to its capacity, inhaling for as long as you can while still feeling comfortable. (You will notice that, over time, the duration of the inhale will increase.) Take about 40 such breaths. Over time, you will notice how this impacts your sense of calm. Since emotional and physical health are interrelated, making this a daily habit will, be’ezras Hashem, yield positive results on the emotional and physical front. To reap more benefits from the wonder that is breath, Amiram recommends learning more on the topic, including how to engage in deep breathing.

from the trauma and the aggravation he experienced, his breathing is shallow. He deprives himself of much of the oxygen his body needs for optimal functioning. Even after the trauma is behind him, incredibly, the brain still keeps sending ‘alarm’ signals to the body to remain in fight or flight mode.” To illustrate how this works with a simplified example, notice what happens to someone who hurries to catch a bus. He becomes hyper-focused on his goal, running as fast as his legs can carry him, while inhaling rapid, short breaths. When he finally makes it onto the bus and heaves into the first available seat, his brain, feeding off the body’s lingering tension, still sends signals to the body to keep running. Even if he won’t physically act upon that command, he’ll still feel uneasy and restless. “Even after the danger has passed, as long as a trauma hasn’t been processed properly, the body—or at least certain parts of it—will still physiologically operate in stress mode. The person may constantly be on high alert, or internally tense, poised, and ready to tackle the next stressor. The body works overtime, consuming all of the much-needed energy. Keeping this in mind, in my role as the healer, when I help an individual breathe right, he is able to welcome more energy into parts of the body that have been deprived. Some areas, such as the back, are especially prone to oxygen deprivation—and thus to pain—and I pay special attention to help the person bring more breath into those places.” Once every part of the body receives its fill of oxygen, Amiram explains, the brain starts to let go. It starts easing up, exiting trauma mode. “When I guide the patient to focus his breath on a particular area, what often occurs is that the trauma that’s trapped in those cells—which are essentially oxygen-deprived from the time he held his breath, such as during moments of fear or tension— comes to the fore. It is such traumas that keep triggering a constant, unnecessary flight-or-flight response, which depletes the body of its energy and generates other health issues such as high blood pressure and irregular heart rate. When we discuss that trauma, and the individual finds the message Hashem is sending Him through it, he can help himself lead a calmer existence and enjoy better health.” While Amiram believes it is important for past traumas to be brought to the fore, his positive approach toward tackling them has been of incredible help to his clients. “We call it to be mamtik the trauma, to be mamtik— to sweeten— the din. There’s no denying that hurts hurt. There’s no denying that it’s uncomfortable for us to be in less-than-ideal circumstances, and some of the traumas people go through in this life are really, really harrowing. However, nothing that happens in this life is for naught.

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Too often, our trauma is accompanied by heavy emotions like guilt and anger. All of that simply drains us of energy that can be channeled toward such goodness. Here is where our bechirah comes into play. We can choose to have our energy wasted on holding on to difficult emotions or fight with our pain, even subconsciously. Or we can do the work in order to access that energy, to free it up so we can channel it toward our avodas Hashem, toward giving, toward sharing it with others. This is our ultimate tikkun in terms of trauma.” Taking the Holocaust as an example, Amiram continues. “Consider someone who endured the horrors of the Shoah, losing his wife and children. Of course, he experienced untold trauma in the process. Such an individual was able to channel his energy into rebuilding Yiddishkeit, into creating a vibrant, centered new life, but he could have chosen, even subconsciously, to focus all his energies to hold on to anger, to guilt, to blame. There’s no doubt that what he experienced was incredibly painful and heartbreaking. But by acknowledging that it was all for a purpose, that he has the bechirah in regard to channeling his energy, he’s able to come to a place of not only real giving, but real living.” When an individual suppresses his energy, Amiram explains, it’s as if a furnace burns within. The heat intensifies, intensifies, intensifies—until it explodes. “This presents as illness,” he notes. “All that pent-up energy wreaks havoc in the body. When the person starts to breathe right, and he releases the energy he’s been holding on to all these years, he becomes whole again, with the capacity to utilize all his energy optimally.” In the many cases he treats on a daily basis, Amiram has noticed the basic themes that most individuals are challenged with, often since their youth. “I’ve dealt with many adults who were bullied as children, noticing how they’ve been holding on to the rejection they faced. Others have been harassed or abused, or grew up in volatile environments, and in their effort to suf-

focate their emotions, they’ve been subconsciously putting great stress on their body. This is an exhausting endeavor that depletes their oxygen supply and may lead to an array of ailments, including serious conditions like diabetes, Crohn’s disease, Alzheimer’s, and even cancer (which mainstream medicine is starting to realize may be associated with stress and other difficult emotions).

After this professor experienced a personal illness and was referred to me, it became clear to him that although genes certainly impact our wellbeing, what lies at the crux of our health is stress.

“The key to healing should not be kept secret. The only way to effectively heal this stress,” Amiram reiterates, “is to allow it to surface—breathing is one excellent technique for that—and explore its purpose. To live with resistance toward it, which often presents as despair, depression, denial, or self-pity, is self-destructive and continues to deplete energy. By viewing what we’ve experienced or are experiencing from a positive, healthy perspective, we can be mamtik the unique circumstances of our life, actualizing their purpose. Through this approach, we can grow from our challenges and contribute to the world in a way that only we can.” As a case in point, Amiram shares the story of a conventional doctor for whom he was a shaliach of healing. “This professor had been doing decades of research on the role genetics play in medicine. After he experienced a personal illness and was referred to me, it became clear to him that although genes certainly impact our wellbeing, what lies at the crux of our health is stress. We become exponentially more vulnerable to illness when we don’t deal properly with our emotions. Today, this doctor lectures internationally on the subject. “The connection is fascinating. An individual who acquires this clarity will focus at least as much on his emotional wellbeing as he does on his physical health, especially when he receives a message through ailing health. Through breathing right—more deeply and fully than we’re used to—we’re given access to the recesses of our mind and emotions, which is an excellent first step in true healing.” Amiram Amir can be contacted via Wellspring.

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W ed nes day 134

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by Ariella Schiller Sometimes it feels like I’m building Pisom and Ramses. I put in and put in, and somehow, it all crumbles away into worthless heaps of sand. Dramatic analogy, maybe, for the fact that I have yet another load of laundry to do, but I’m feeling dramatic right now. Dark and moody and dramatic. And fat. Don’t forget fat. “Thank you for that,” I say in the direction of Layla’s infant seat propped between the washer and dryer. It isn’t that I look terrible. I look like I just had a baby. You know, four months ago. I just feel heavy. And dark and dramatic and moody and enuuuuuff.

What is wrong with these diets? Not one of them works for me.

“It’s just laundry,” I say aloud, as I sort lights and darks. And it is just laundry. It’s also just dishes and just bedtimes and just cooking and just folding and just cleaning and just working full time. And I’m very happy to be superwoman but also, I cry myself to sleep most nights. And I have the luxury to do so because Layla’s an angel and doesn’t wake up from noise and Elchanan is in the middle of “needing space” and has flown to Eretz Yisrael to daven at kivrei tzaddikim. Forget the laundry. I throw down a white shirt, check on the baby — fast asleep — and head upstairs for a coffee. Which turns into a coffee and a slice of banana cake. Which then turns into coffee, a slice of banana cake, and two squares of chocolate, which is all very ironic because I purposely didn’t put chocolate chips into the cake to WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

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mously terrible memory and is also famously sensitive about it. “Nope, just decided today.” “Cereal, granola bars, oatmeal… kay kay, sounds good. Pans, napkins, paper towels.” I tune out Sora Dina’s voice as she fills her cart. She doesn't really need me, as long as I’m on the line it’s enough to ground her. “One second, Tals, weren’t we on Atkins?” This time I do laugh. “If you can’t remember, then probably not. Ma’am, I’ve been eating carbs since Elchanan left. And I’m pretty sure you never stopped eating carbs in the first place.” Sora Dina cracks up. “Yeah, that sounds more familiar.” I go back down to the basement. I’ll take another try at the laundry, but honestly. Pisom and Ramses. ∞

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cut back on the sugar. Oh well. It’s a good thing I’m starting Deetox on Wednesday.

wise she gets distracted and can meander around the store for hours.

“We’re starting Deetox on Wednesday,” I say by way of greeting when Sora Dina calls for her Monday grocery run. She claims she needs to speak to me while she shops, other-

“Oh. We are? Did we discuss this already?”

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I choke back a laugh as I wash my mug out and place it in the drying rack. Sora Dina has a fa-

It’s the after-dinner hours when I feel it most. During the day I’m too busy to miss him, too overwhelmed to realize that my life wouldn't be so overwhelming if I had an actual partner to share it with. But when dinner’s over and the kids disperse to homework and bedtime, then I ache with what I’m missing, like an amputated limb that twinges in pain. The thing is, I’ve never really had him to begin with. I knew something was wrong when we were en-

gaged; he’d disappear for days on end without reaching out or being in touch, but he didn’t have a cellphone back then, good yeshivah bochur that he was, and there was always a plausible excuse. I eat the baked ziti off of Mordy’s plate, pop some baby corn from Blima’s, and crunch some broccoli florets from Gila’s. There you go, a balanced meal. And it’s not like he lies or anything. He wasn’t aware there was a problem. He still isn’t aware that there’s a problem which, you know, is a problem. I pull another piece of ziti off the plate and crunch it. Whatever, I’m going for the pan. I perch on a bar stool, pull the pan closer and grab a fork. Mmmm, I really am the best cook if I do say so myself. Three-cheese baked ziti with just enough pesto mixed in to give it a kick without the kids screaming that there’s “green uch” in the baked ziti. Elchanan loves my cooking. Which just makes me angry. Then again, everything makes me angry these days. Sora Dina calls, I answer without speaking. “Tals? Are you having a pity party?” I look down at the now empty pan. “A well-deserved one, Sora Dina. A very well-deserved one.” Silence and then, “So how does it work?” I blink and put the fork down.

“You relax,” Sora Dina snaps back.

“We’re starting Deetox on Wednesday,” I say by way of greeting when Sora Dina calls for her Monday grocery run. “My pity party?” She laughs. “No. Deetox.” Oh! “Kay, so first there’s this tea. Perla Matyas told me all about it. Then there are these shakes instead of meals. But you also get one meal. Oh, and two snacks. But no coffee.” I fall silent at the thought and walk to the sink. “But the shake can be coffee-flavored. So that might work.” Sora Dina doesn’t sound convinced. “Talia, I need coffee.” I roll my eyes as I start to soap the milchig dishes. “Kay, I’m sure you can sneak a coffee in. Relax.”

Oh, I wish, honey. I wish. ∞ I transfer the wash to the dryer and start to lay out the kids’ clothing and pack lunches and snacks. I put Blima’s uniform skirt down so I can text Sora Dina an apology and then continue. Soon I have six outfits laid out and six lunch bags packed. Well, five lunch bags and one diaper bag. Superwoman. I reward myself with a diet Coke and two of the soft and chewy chocolate chip cookies I’d just packed into the bags. Mmmm, soft and full of preservatives. Just the way I like it. I’d love to read a magazine or something but I know that if I do, I’ll be fast asleep on the kitchen table within seconds. And I still need to sweep and wipe down the counters. So I just settle back onto the cushioned dinette bench and chew contentedly. The phone rings, I know it’s Elchanan calling to wish me a good night. I want to ignore it but I also know I’ll never hear the end of it if I do. “Hey.” “Hey yourself, Tals. I miss you. How are you?” I choke back a bitter laugh. “Fine, how are you? How’s the Holy Land?” Elchanan’s voice turns animated; he begins to speak fastWELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

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er. “It’s amazing. We went up north, Shwartzbaum’s nephew has a villa in Tzfas, we stayed there last night. Kofman made a huge barbecue, we grilled.” I find it fascinating how he always knows someone’s nephew or brother-in-law or uncle who can hook him up with fancy accommodations and good food. How many villas can there be already? And how many rich nephews? “Wow, that’s so nice. And where’d you daven?” “We went to Rashbi, of course, and stopped by the Ari and Rav Meir Baal Haness. We’ll do more tomorrow.” “Nice. Did you daven for me?” “Of course. And for the kids. How they all doing?” “Fine.” “Great. It’s late here, gonna go to sleep.” “Good night.” “Good night.” I take two more cookies. ∞ Layla wakes up at 3:00 a.m. Considering I only went to bed an hour ago, I bury my face in my pillow and cry along with her. I can’t even blame Elchanan’s trip; he never gets the babies even when he’s here. There’s a lot that Elchanan doesn’t do, translating into there’s a lot that I put up with. 138

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But then again, he puts up with me. And I’m a big mess, emphasis on big. So can I really complain? I mean, when he married me, I was a size two, always cheerful, and spontaneous to the point of stupidity. I was also 19 and my brain wasn’t fully developed, but that’s a story for a different day. Besides, he’s always very insistent than it’s not me. So original, my husband, “it’s not you, it’s me.” But in this case,

emotions, he gets swept away, far from me, far from the kids, far from life and responsibilities. And I stay behind, broom in hand, bags under my eyes, chocolate in my mouth. ∞ I’m only half an hour late to work; I deserve a medal. My boss probably doesn’t see it that way but she doesn’t say anything. My coworker Tammy

it very clearly is him. As much as a handful as me and my diets and my exhaustion are, I’m a wife and mother before all. Elchanan, on the other hand, is a 15-year-old before all. Ruled by his mood swings and turbulent

is less smart. “Your shirt is on backwards,” she whispers helpfully. I just about manage not to throw a stapler at her but it takes all of my self-control and then some. She redeems herself by handing me a Tupperware of

her famous frosted lemon-poppy bars. Good thing I didn’t throw a stapler at her. My inbox is overflowing and I resurface only to grab a coffee and lemon bar, and then to replenish coffee and lemon bar. Thank G-d it’s only Tuesday. “Starting Deetox tomorrow,” I tell Tammy, who is so small, I’ve heard her say she’s shopped in kids’ stores at times. “Wow, Talia, that’s great! Hatzlachah rabbah! Wait, aren’t you on the grapefruit diet?” I look at her. I will not slap my coworker, I will not slap

my coworker. “Tammy. If I was on the grapefruit diet, would I have just eaten an entire Tupperware of lemon bars?” Besides, that diet was so pre-baby. And gave me insane heartburn. Although not as bad as when I ate those Optavia bars. She wrinkles her nose endearingly. “Oh, good point.” I turn away and wrinkle my own nose, muttering under my breath. ∞ Wednesday has arrived, de-

spite several rocky moments the night before when I was afraid I would actually die of stress. Humming to myself, I unload my Deetox paraphernalia onto the counter, picking up containers and boxes skeptically, trying to read the fine print, fooling nobody because I wouldn’t understand any of it anyway. My phone rings. “You got the box?” I ask, abandoning the shakes and powders and starting on last night’s dinner dishes. Wednesday is my day off, hence my tichel, sweatshirt, WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

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and obsessive cooing at Layla. My bas zekunim spends waaay too much time at the babysitter and it breaks my already fragile heart. I share this with Sora Dina who snorts and says, “Nothing about you is fragile, hun.” She’s right, I’m the strongest person I know, but she’s also wrong. Moving right along. I look at my reflection in the side of the water machine. “Ready for a new and improved you?” I ask cheerily, stretching out my chin and smiling winningly. I look fine, pretty even, just exhausted. Maybe losing the 30-pound spare tire from my waist will wake me up a bit. “Eh.” I almost drop the phone. “What do you mean, ‘eh?’” Sora Dina lets out a puff of air that sounds like a cannon blast. I wince as my eardrum takes the hit. “Eh as in… will it work? Nothing works. Why do I even try? Why do you even try?” Okay, I’m really not emotionally prepared for this conversation. I let the sponge fall into the sink and knead my forehead with soapy knuckles. “Sora Dina. Yom Tov is coming. I want a new dress. I want to look good. I want to feel good. I want people to stop asking me if I’m expecting a baby.” I want Elchanan to come home, I finish silently. Not that he cares about 140

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these things. Just once we’re listing things… She laughs, a dry brittle sound. “Kay. I hear yah. Listen, Shua is going to come over to borrow your bike pump, what time is good?” I answer something and hang up, annoyed for a change. Sora Dina is the best friend a girl can ask for, but she’s also a bit of a Debby Downer. Not that I’ve been crowned Little Miss Sunshine anytime recently, but at least I try. And it’s not like her life is so hard, either, with her

husband working from home. Like, please don’t complain that “he’s always right there.” When my husband is never. Just, please. I understand nobody’s life is perfect and everyone has their challenges, I really do, but I have to say, our peckelach just don’t seem that equal. ∞ Simi strolls into the kitchen, scrounging for something to eat. I offer to make her an omelet and she happily agrees. Al-

Silence and then, “So how does it work?” I blink and put the fork down. “My pity party?” though the girl could totally be eating French toast and waffles if she wants to, she’s tiny and perfect. She’s heading to the beach soon, apparently college is extremely strenuous the first week and they give you a day off to organize yourself. Or, you know, go to the beach. I try to remember the last time I’d gone to the beach but I’m drawing a blank. I love the beach. My “vacation” hours pass in a blur of making beds, cleaning floors, folding laundry, nursing, cooking dinner, cuddling baby, and even squeezing in a hot shower. Self-care to the max. I drank the special tea in the morning, it was pretty awful, and now it’s time for my first

shake. I’m just pulling out the blender when the bell rings. “Come in,” I call, hoping it’s not an axe murderer or thief. They don’t usually ring the bell, do they? Shua, Sora Dina’s 18-year-old, walks in. He’s a great kid, as distractible as his mom, funny, smart, and with an eye on the future. “Hello, there!” “Shua! How are you? How’s 12th grade treating you?” He flashes me his dimples. “We’re ruling the school, don’t worry.” I laugh and point towards the garage. “I have no doubts. The pump’s in there. Good luck finding it.” I start putting the first shake together, powder and ice and water… measuring, I mutter to myself; he comes back out, pump triumphantly clutched in his hand. “Dum dum da dum! Thanks!” “No problem, Shua. Regards to your siblings.” “Sure.” He stops by the door. “Oh, I wanted to ask your husband about this gemara we were learning last time we ate here. Is he home, by any chance?” I will my smile to remain firmly in place. “He went to Eretz Yisrael to daven at kivrei tzaddikim.” And I see it happen. The glow in his eyes, the mouth partially open. It’s the Elchanan effect. The Whoa, this guy is so holy,

always davening and traveling to mekomos kedoshim, even when he has a wife and house full of kids. And it’s all I can do to keep myself from slamming the door in Shua’s glowing face. I bid him a normal, cheery goodbye and then once he’s gone, I break. I’ve seen that glow before. Good wife that I am, I don’t stop it. I don’t say, hey, Elchanan’s not that great. He left me, all alone, like I’m his mother and he’s flying away from the nest. Except this is his nest! These are his children! I am his wife! I march over to the package of soft cookies and snatch up three. Deetox can take back its stupid powder. I’m done. I’m done trying to improve myself, to become a better version. I blink, freeze. Where did that come from? Didn’t I always say losing weight was about me? Was I that full of air? When did this become about Elchanan? When did everything become about Elchanan? I’m still holding the blender cup in one hand, the cookies in the other. This feels too symbolic. So I do the only thing I can do. I toss the cookies onto the counter; they land in a small puddle of soap water. And I take the cup from the blender and hurl it across the room. It shatters into one million fragments, Deetox powder floating gently on top, like the first snowfall on a patch of grass, and suddenly everything I’ve held back since Elchanan WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

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left, or maybe since Elchanan married me, spills out. I sink to the floor and sob, out loud and broken. I’m broken. Like the stupid blender cup. Broken, left alone, abandoned.

that in a while. When was the last time I thought about what I want, what I really want, beyond losing weight? I stroke Layla’s head, take a deep breath in and let it out.

Layla wakes up, wailing from upstairs. I heave and heave, shoulders shaking, until I catch my breath and then I hoist myself off the floor.

I’m awake to so many things. Mainly that I don't want this life, to be left behind, to be left

I leave the glass shards behind, the kids aren’t due home for two hours, and I have nothing left in me. Robotically, I head up the stairs feeling feverish, cold and hot at the same time. Layla is screaming, her beautiful face a frightening shade of puce. I lift her and hold her close; her cries shudder to a hiccup. “I know just how you feel, sweet baby,” I whisper into her shiny blonde cap of hair. Wasn’t I left alone, too? And didn’t I just wake up and start screaming? Because that’s how I feel. Awake, for the first time in a very long time. I settle on the bed to feed her, moving like an automaton, and reach for my usual bar of 60 percent cacao in the dresser drawer. I stop. It’s Wednesday. I’m doing Deetox… No, wait, actually, I just don’t want chocolate. Or Deetox, for that matter. I think about this. Wanting things… I haven’t thought about 142

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The baby falls back asleep, but I’m raring to go, the adrenaline pumping through my veins like a caffeine overload. And I would know. to care for a family of seven all by myself. I’m a person. Even if my marriage is a sham, even if I can’t lose the baby weight. Elchanan’s

always following his whims, his wants, his dreams. What about me? I have dreams. At least, I think I do. I lie back on the pillows, the baby’s soft weight heavy in my arms. If I could do anything, have anything, what would it be? I wait for Elchanan’s name to jump to the forefront but it doesn’t. My mind is stunningly blank, except… I want to go to the beach. ∞ The baby falls back asleep, but I’m raring to go, the adrenaline pumping through my veins like a caffeine overload. And I would know. I take another shower; the day’s insights don’t wash away with the tears. I put on the cute, loose maxi dress I picked up at Banana Republic at the end-of-summer sale, dab on some makeup and a wig, and head downstairs. I feel like finally the dark has shifted, just a bit, to show that what I thought was a pit is in fact a tunnel. And maybe, one day, I’ll find my way out. The phone is ringing, it’s probably Elchanan. I don’t answer it. Conversations, serious ones, can wait for later. And later will come, and I'll have to face it all, and make hard choices, But not now. I sweep up the glass, go over it with the mop, and am just drying the floor when Blima comes waltzing in. Good day in eleventh grade, apparently. The phone is still ringing.

I wait until she’s settled on the bench with a book and a bowl of cereal, her preferred after-school snack. “Sweetie, I’m going out, okay? There’s schnitzel and rice on the stove. The baby’s sleeping upstairs but she’ll be up soon.”

I grab the car keys and my sunglasses and blow her a kiss. “Ma!” I slow and look back at her. She’s followed me to the doorway, eyes huge. “MA. Where are you going?” I smile at her, my heart sing-

ing. “The beach, sweetie. I’m going to the beach.” But first I’ll pick up a delicious and filling salad from the Avenue and maybe order an iced coffee as well. Who knows? It’s Wednesday. Anything can happen.

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THE FUNCTIONAL DIETITIAN

Say Goodbye to Your Two Wardrobes — For Good! By Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE

If you’re like many, the topic on your mind the day after Yom Tov likely involves scales, pounds, and getting back into the healthy-eating routine. While many people are able to balance enjoying family meals and heavier foods with smaller portions and increased activity, others find that they are stuck with a few (or more!) extra pounds come the end of this beautiful season. If I’m guessing correctly, these may be the same pounds you’ve been trying to lose for the last long while, with months of success and months of uh…less than success. UCLA researchers analyzed 31 long-term studies and found that people who lose weight often rebound. The report concluded that many losers regain their original weight plus more, whereas sustained weight loss occurred only with a few participants. Losing weight can be fun; maintaining that loss often becomes a tedious, never-ending hurdle. But before you throw your hands up and resign yourself to elastic waistbands forever, there is a silver lining to those who analyze the research more closely. The good news is that there are research-based strategies that have been associated with long-term weight maintenance, and if you implement them into your day-to-day life, your chances of success are much higher. Science confirms what I’ve frequently seen in my practice — thousands of clients maintain their fat loss by employing the strategies listed below. 144

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Frequent check-ins The scale can give you an honest assessment of where you’re at. One study with 47 overweight subjects found those who weighed themselves daily lost significantly more weight and adopted significantly more weight control behaviors compared with those who weighed themselves less often than daily.

3 Add before taking away.

Eat breakfast.

Once you know how important breakfast is, you make the time for it even if you think you don’t have a spare moment. Studies show a high-protein breakfast decreases postprandial ghrelin (hunger hormone) concentrations better than high-carbohydrate breakfasts, keeping people fuller for longer. It’s for this reason that one systematic evaluation of randomized controlled trials that looked at meal replacement shakes found they could safely and effectively produce significant sustainable weight loss, as they are often used as a quick breakfast replacement. Eggs or cottage cheese with whole-grain crackers or toast are both additional excellent high-protein breakfast options.

One of the biggest problems with diets is that they rarely work in the long term. If anything, people who diet tend to gain more weight over time, and studies show that dieting is a consistent predictor of future weight gain. Instead of going on a diet, focus on nourishing your body instead of depriving it. Deprivation practically guarantees you will eventually nosedive into those leftover rugelach in the freezer. Rather than prohibit a particular food, successful people shift focus to healthier choices. They might load up on nutrient-rich, filling, and fibrous leafy and cruciferous veggies. Studies find even with unrestricted caloric intake, increased fiber intake can help reduce calorie intake as well as help with weight loss.

Do exercise.

Eat mindfully.

In the national weight control registry, the largest study of long-term weight loss, 94% of participants do daily exercise, with levels averaging an hour a day, Even if that amount is not feasible for you, increasing from where you have been on the physical activity scale, combined with the other weight-maintenance strategies listed, will likely guarantee you long-term success.

Successful losers remain present while they’re eating, savor every bite, and put their fork down to chew their food properly. One study found that people who ate slowly consumed fewer calories but sustained better satiety.

Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE is registered dietitian/nutritionist and certified diabetes educator who has advanced training in functional medicine. She maintains a busy practice via phone and videoconferencing with her international clientele. She specializes in sustainable weight loss and nutrition therapy for autoimmune disease, gastrointestinal disorders, and female hormone imbalances. She can be reached at 732-364-0064 or through her website, www.thegutdietitian.com.

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SERIAL DIARY

NEW!

COMPASS a bra nd ne w serial diary as told to Libby Silberman by Dina Lieber

Chapter 1 May 2017 - March 2018

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hen our baby Lana was born four years ago in May, I was smitten from the first moment. She was just so beautiful. And we were misled by her beauty—for a very long time.

My husband and I are both from Europe, and we had moved to Eretz Yisrael after our wedding just a scant year earlier. I am an oldest child and had married very young. In fact, I got married at the same time as another five friends, a clique of “firsts” from my high school class. All six of us moved to Eretz Yisrael and lived within minutes of each other. We all had our first babies roughly within the same time frame, and the unspoken baby competition was on. Lana won in the beauty department hands down, and her good looks only reinforced the blissful denial we coasted along in for quite some time. Life was good. I mean, mostly good. Lana was born after 40 hours of labor via vacuum delivery. She was very distressed and for the first week, she screamed whenever anybody touched the top of her head. We brought her home (with a brief return to the hospital for a few days because she was severely yellow), and eventually tried to settle into our new life with a baby. Lana screamed and screamed and screamed. Eli and I would fall asleep at five each morning, having spent the night trying to rock and shush and soothe. We would look at each other, bleary-eyed, wondering if this was what raising kids was all about. We recalled snippets of adult conversations from our pasts—“Parents of kids are always tired…”—and surmised we were just having a very rough landing. How does everyone else function? we wondered. As much as I tried breastfeeding, Lana wouldn’t latch on. I consulted with multiple lactation consultants, to no avail. Lana was a stubborn little thing; I guess she took after me. Slowly, I stopped trying to nurse her and pumped milk instead. In retrospect, this made so much sense in the greater scheme of things once we had a diagnosis, but at the time I just blamed myself and failed to notice the signs. My mother came to visit when Lana was one week old, and only months later shared that she’d left with a “pit in her stomach,” realizing that something was off but unable to put her finger on it. Just to put that into perspective, my parents foster physically unwell children in their home for long and short term. My mother has so much knowledge, she could easily qualify as a doctor. She keeps oxygen tanks and feeding tubes in her kitchen cabinets. When my parents visited again six weeks later, my mother panicked. The baby simply wouldn’t stop shrieking. Eli was run ragged from lack of sleep and keeping up with his sedarim at kollel as if nothing was amiss. I was an exhausted wreck, physically and emotionally.

“This isn’t normal,” I remember my mother whispering, as she held up the most gorgeous baby in the world. “Dina, go get some sleep,” she urged. She left the house with the baby, and I listened to her like a good girl. I slept and slept and slept until I could open my eyes all the way. Eventually, we were referred to a craniosacral therapist, a blind man who was said to have magical hands. We attended the appointment and somehow, he managed to calm Lana down. By the time my family came to Eretz Yisrael to spend Sukkos with us, my parents called Lana “a new child,” and we all heartily agreed that she was doing just fine now and was the cutest thing in the world. And she really was. Her hair was thick and shiny. Her eyes were so large and intelligent that she captivated all who saw her. As Lana transitioned from a cute five-month-old to an even cuter ten-month-old, nothing much changed. She was still as smiley as usual, but she still couldn’t crawl or make bye-bye. She didn’t display any understanding of social cues around her. Infrequently, when she was overstimulated or overtired, she would shake her head in a strange way, but of course, I refused to acknowledge it. We weren’t concerned. We had no one to compare with and, although we sort of knew that most kids were doing more than just smiling at everybody by ten months, we didn’t register it on a practical level. I’m reminded of Lana’s first Purim, when she was ten months old. Being that I have a large dining room, we hosted lots of people for the Purim party, which fell on a Friday. It was a chaotic day, with lots of good food, good wine, and good cheer. Lana was extremely overstimulated from the excitement of the day. Friday night, we had my husband’s single chaveirim over for the meal. Most of them were still tipsy and were saying funny things. They noticed Lana, stimming and rocking her head strangely in her highchair. “Look at that special baby!” one called. “She’s weird,” proclaimed another. “Stop it!” I cried. But they wouldn’t stop. “No, we’re just saying that she looks like she has a heilige neshamah.” “Please, stop saying that!” I was near tears. I grabbed my baby and went into my bedroom with her, to protect her (myself?) from their jarring comments. Just some drunkards, just some drunkards.

To be continued… WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

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DIY

ESROG CONCENTRATE

Once Sukkos has passed, one excellent purpose that esrogim can serve is as the main ingredient in an energizing beverage. Citron juice is renowned for its many health benefits, including immune support, decreasing blood pressure, and supporting heart health. It can also help reduce wrinkles and has anti-viral properties due to its high vitamin C content. Various segulos, which are worth exploring, are associated with ingesting the esrog. By Miriam Schweid

Directions: 1. Cut open the esrog and remove the pulp. Using a food scale, weigh the pulp, then add it to an equal amount of sugar. (For example, if pulp weighs 2 ounces, use 2 ounces sugar.) Let sit overnight in an airtight jar to macerate. 2. The next day, measure the sugar, pulp, and any liquid, and place in a saucepan along with an equal amount of water. 3. Bring to a boil and let simmer for 10 minutes. Allow to cool completely. Then strain, squeezing the pulp to obtain as much juice as possible, into a container or jar. Discard the leftover pulp. 4. You now have esrog syrup, which lasts in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks. To serve, combine with water or seltzer. Add ice cubes or mint leaves and some of the peel for a refreshing, energizing drink. Optional: For added flavor, add any other juiced citrus fruit (such as grapefruit, lemon, orange, or lime) and combine.

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IT’S ALL ABOUT THE GRAPES WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

UNIQUE TO SUKKOS ON BECOMING A HUMAN BEING

HOW WE PRACTICE STILLNESS 5 WOMEN ANSWER THE QUESTION ROCK SOLID THE BEST MARRIAGE ADVICE I WAS EVER GIVEN MENTAL HEALTH PANEL IS BACK THIS TIME: TACKLING SIMCHAH

EMOTIONAL EATING

By Shira Savit

On Becoming a Human Being The art of not doing

“What should I do?” That’s a question I get often. “I know I’m not hungry but I want the cake. What should I do?” “I’m trying to eat well but the scale isn’t budging. What should I do?” “I can’t control myself around food. What should I do?” My response: nothing. Yes, the answer to your question is To. Do. Nothing! Let me explain. We are human beings, not human doings, goes the phrase that reminds us to just be. Sometimes, it’s okay to be a “human doing.” Doing mode is goal oriented: it encourages us to get things done—finish the laundry, wash the dishes, go on errands, and fix problems. Of course, it’s important to function in doing mode throughout our day. However, the pitfall is when doing is our only modus operandi! If my day is solely focused (even subconsciously) on doing, I will eventually burn out. (Any152

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body out there recognize burnout as a common trigger for overeating?) The flipside to doing is being. Being mode means connecting to the present moment. It’s not about what has to get done, it’s about being with what is. When asked, “Shira, how can I possibly do nothing?” I respond: Doing nothing is doing everything! When you take time to be with yourself, without running to distract or accomplish, you are recharging yourself, which will give you the energy you need for your day. To me, that is everything. If being is everything, why do so many of us have a hard time just being? In my experience, a common reason is that we’re scared of our thoughts and feelings. And so, we keep busy in order to avoid them. As one of my clients in Israel recently shared: “For the past year, I’ve worked a night job with American hours, so I work until two a.m. I really don’t like this job, and baruch Hashem, we can afford to live without it, but I haven’t been able to get myself to quit. When I started exploring the concept of just being, I realized that I’m terrified to just be with myself at night. My days are super busy—working, shopping, kids, cooking, etc. I’m running, running, running. Before I started my night job, I used to lie in bed and my thoughts would hound me! I would think of everything I’d accomplished that day and all the things I had to get done the next day. I would replay conversations in my head and worry if I’d said the right thing. I would feel consumed with guilt about my mindless snacking and overeating. My night job, though, keeps me awake so late that by the time I finish, I literally crash. This way I can just get to sleep and not have to deal with all those thoughts and feelings. It’s ironic because while I thought I was avoiding feeling, my unwanted feelings showed up in my pantry.”

might opt to do in order to (superficially) feel better about ourselves. One of my clients told me that her to-do list was her best friend. Fulfilling her tasks made her feel proud, but what happened when she was supposed to do errands and her toddler came down with a stomach virus? She was unable to do. She felt annoyed and unaccomplished, and ended up eating all the leftover Shabbos rugelach, which only made her feel worse about herself. How do I help others achieve a healthy balance of both doing and being? As you may know, I’m a big advocate of taking baby steps. Many women live in 100 percent doing mode. I encourage them, even if it’s just for 10 seconds, to set aside time in their day just to be. Doing nothing. The 10 seconds naturally increases over time to several minutes, which sometimes happens multiple times a day. Some examples of “being” homework successes: “Before I got to work, I sat in my car for a few minutes, without my phone or music, just being before I got busy doing.” “I decided to sit on my hammock for a few minutes without any activity: usually I daven there or read a book. This time I just sat. Just being. I was so impressed with myself!”

Another reason why doing mode is so prevalent is because it feels good to accomplish. Even mundane chores For this type of homework, I remind women not to run such as folding laundry away from their thoughts. or paying a bill can If you sit in stillness and find yourself worrying or feeling bring us a sense of tense, just remind yourself to be in it. Being is the opposite of escaping. worth. It’s okay to worry, it’s okay to think;

Another reason why doing mode is so prevalent is because it feels good to accomplish. Even mundane chores such as folding laundry or paying a bill can bring us a sense of worth. If we are struggling with our self-worth, we

the more you allow yourself to be with your feelings, the less they will dominate your thoughts and behaviors. Sukkos is the Yom Tov that focuses entirely on the concept of being. It’s the only chag where we get a mitzvah while doing nothing—just to sit. And be. In the sukkah. Leisheiv basukkah. Of course, we tap into doing mode by singing and eating and davening and taking the arba minim, but how amazing is it that we fulfill a mitzvah just by sitting still, inside Hashem’s fortress of love and hugs? May we be zocheh to sit in stillness in Hashem’s castle of revealed glory, being in the Beis Hamikdash HaShlishi, bekarov beyameinu!

Shira Savit, MA, MHC, INHC, is a mental health counselor with multiple certifications in nutrition and health. She specializes in weight loss, emotional eating, and binge eating. Shira incorporates both nutritional and emotional components in helping her clients reach their goals. Shira has a private practice in Yerushalayim and works with women in any location via phone call or video session. She can be contacted at 516-978-7800, shira@cucumbersandchocolate.com, or via her website: cucumbersandchocolate.com.

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CHILD DEVELOPMENT

Where’s My Blankie? Attachment Items: The Good, the Bad, and the Better Way By Friedy Singer & Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L

As an introduction to this article, we’d like to establish that the content may seem challenging for parents who provide their children with attachment items as a means of regulation. Who hasn’t heard the phrase, “What’s the worry? He won’t march down to the chuppah with a paci/blankie/“fill in the blank.” However, we believe that this information is critical for parents to understand since social-emotional development begins in the first six months of life and unhealthy attachment tendencies may lead to hidden challenges with self and emotional regulation later in life, including addiction and inability to deal with emotions in a healthy manner. The role of the article is empower parents to start their children on the right track before those challenges arise. It is to provide food for thought, based on science and development.

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CHILD DEVELOPMENT

Attachment is a buzzword in parenting, and for good reason. As we mentioned in a previous installment, bonding between mother and child is essential for the child’s development. From the moment a baby is born, he constantly seeks to regulate himself — to fulfill his needs and emotions in order to reach a state of comfort. As parents, we constantly offer comfort to the baby: swaddling, feeding, holding. Feeding is in and of itself a form of regulation; through sucking and feeding, the baby develops attachment to his mother. While the baby sucks, he uses the reflexes he was born with to help him get nourished and feel good. It’s a basic need, helping the child connect to the sense of comfort and feeling satisfied. Many babies instinctively use Mom — or their bottle — as an attachment item, regulating themselves by non-nutritive sucking, meaning they keep sucking even when they’re not quite eating anymore. For infants, this teaches a soothing behavior and is developmentally appropriate. While drawing comfort from Mom’s presence is highly soothing for a young child, what happens when parents can’t always be physically available to their children? In addition, various developmental milestones can be a source of anxiety for kids. For example, during the period when babies develop psychologically, usually between 9 and 12 months of age, they start feeling separation anxiety. It’s situations like these that may call for the use of attachment items. Besides reassuring them with words that Mommy will be back soon, employing a transitional item at that time may be very helpful as well. How does attachment transfer into items? In previous times, (as well as in some cultures today,) mothers lived a different lifestyle, and cultural norms included being home the majority of the time and living together with extended family. This allowed for moms to be physically present and available at almost all times to hold, soothe, and connect with their children. With our reality rather different today, children often use attachment items, such as pacifiers, bottles, or blankies, to self-soothe and reach a state of regulation. At the right age, these are healthy and developmentally appropriate. Attachment items, also known as transitional items, may be used to help babies learn to regulate as they transition through various milestones and gain more independence. Offering a stuffed animal when moving from a crib to a 156

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bed or a pacifier when stopping to nurse can be a great way to help a child soothe himself. It bridges the link, so to speak. The child forms an attachment to the item and derives a sense of security from it. What are the potential pitfalls? Imagine someone has a letter that was sent to her by a beloved grandfather who has since passed on. She cherishes the letter, not because she is attached to the piece of paper but because she connects with the writer behind that letter. We want our children to connect with the sense of security an item may give them, but not to the item per se. Once they are older and start to attach importance to the item itself, it’s time to let go. While attachment items may serve an important purpose, it is equally important to know when to let go of them and to understand why a child may have difficulty doing that. Suppose a parent is out on errands, and her 15-monthold baby starts crying. The parent’s first instinct may be to give a pacifier to the baby to soothe himself. But in truth, at a certain age (i.e. above the age of 6 months), a baby should not need an outside source for internal self-regulation. Many parents don’t realize that a child’s blueprint to physiologically self-regulate is established by 3-4 months of age and refined by 12 months of age, even before language has fully developed. As explained above, we use these items nowadays because in a lifestyle where we cannot always hold, soothe, and rock the baby, they have become necessary. But, when a child is constantly presented with an oral transitional item in order to selfsoothe, they make the psychological connection that this item is necessary for “me to feel good.” Another common concern is the nurse-till-baby-sleeps approach, particularly as your child is developing. Baby snuggles up against Mom, eats his fill, then when he’s sound asleep, Mom lowers Baby into his crib, as sneaky and soundlessly as any good undercover agent. It may be convenient in the short run, but meanwhile the baby is learning to rely on external sources in order to soothe himself to sleep. Once a baby is three or four months old, they’ve developed enough to start forming an attachment to items. It’s important that children not become too dependent on attachment items to regulate themselves. We want our children to learn to soothe themselves with internal regulation.

When a child is constantly presented with an oral transitional item in order to self-soothe, they make the psychological connection that this item is necessary for “me to feel good.”

When to Wean Although all children have different needs, there are approximate ages when most have developed enough to let go of external sources of comfort. Around the time a baby hits his first birthday, he can usually be weaned off his bottle. That is, weaned off the need to suck in order to regulate. At that point, a baby should be able to self-soothe. So long as all his needs are met, it’s okay for him to cry for a bit, but then he should be able to calm down on his own. By 18 months at the latest, we believe it’s time for pacis to go. When a pacifier is removed early enough, a child will learn how to internally calm himself. When a child is older and still dependent on the pacifier, removing it might prompt him to seek another external source of comfort, like sucking his thumb. Sometimes that external source can be unnoticeable, like a child caressing his own face to help fall asleep, or thinking repetitive thoughts. Even if a child has a very strong bond with an item, he will still be happy and well-connected, considering it’s age-appropriate. As babies grow, their ability to selfsoothe increases, and their need for these items decreases. Once he hits three or four years though, there should be no need for these attachment items anymore.

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Baby Tips Fortunately, there’s much we can do to help our little ones learn to self-regulate. Here are some basics. Holding your baby is a natural way of helping him regulate. Unlike with an item, a baby has no control over his being held; it’s the parent who’s creating the input. Holding, bouncing, and rocking a baby are often instinctive actions; they are all healthy ways of helping a baby self-regulate. It’s important to note that there’s a significant difference between a baby being rocked in a swing and a baby being held and rocked. When a mother holds her baby, the baby feels the physical contact with his mother, he hears her heartbeat, or the sound of her humming. He senses how regulated his mother is and receives all that nonverbal communication, connection, and love. At three or four months old, a baby should not have to be in a swing to regulate himself. At this point, he is engaging in movement on his own. As he starts lifting his head and rolling, he starts to provide himself with physical feedback that facilitates his self-regulation. When he is held and rocked, he will continue to learn the perception of what movement is. If you’re rocking Baby to sleep, it’s best to put him into the crib before he’s in a deep sleep. He should be able to feel being put down, so he can then self-regulate into falling asleep. Ultimately, the things we do instinctively to comfort our children are good for them. It’s the items that need to be managed. When Weaning Never Happened If your little and not-so-little kids still love their attachment item, don’t stress. Your children are smart; they’ll use their developing cognitive abilities to help them get along. But it could turn into an issue eventually, so here are some tips to keep in mind. Keep the right toys and games within your child’s reach. Focus on toys and activities in which they can do the moving, like with a ball or a tug-of-war, as opposed to something that can move them (like a baby swing). If your older child is scared, nervous, or angry, help him learn to regulate by validating first. Acknowledge how he feels, without saying “but.” As the parent, take a deep 158

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breath. Offer a hug. (As an aside, if a child gives you a hug, make sure they’re the first ones to let go. They may need a bit more time to get to that place of regulation.) Then shift gears: distract and move on. If validating is not enough, the child may have regulation issues. Perhaps he is exhibiting anger when he’s essentially experiencing frustration with his parent, or a lack of control. This stems from an inner urgency or anxiety, which is an integration issue. Why do some kids find letting go so difficult? Some like it hot, some like it cold…and some like their blankies at nine years old. Why do some kids let go of their little goodies with minimal pain, while for others the experience borders on traumatic? Different factors may be at play. Personality, of course, always plays a role. Then there’s the physiological response. Some kids feel a greater need to have control over their environment. They may get more overwhelmed by their surroundings, perhaps when there’s too much sensory stimulation. By connecting to an item, the child gains a sense of security and control — in a world he can’t control. For kids like these, learning to regulate without that item will be more challenging. But if a child has an extremely difficult time letting go of an attachment item, there’s usually an underlying concern, something that makes it hard for him to regulate internally. Often, that’s because he needs help developing one of his hidden systems. Aside from the basic five senses, there are hidden systems that help us self-regulate in our environment: the proprioceptive system is the sense of where we are in space, the vestibular system gives us a sense of balance, and the interoceptive system helps us feel internal sensations. It’s the balanced communication between our senses that allows a child to sense what it feels like to be regulated. It’s important to note that if a child has sensory or regulation issues or developmental concerns, their attachment item should never be removed before they are given the input they need. For a child who is lacking proprioceptive or vestibular input, or a sense of security, removing an attachment item is like taking away someone’s shoes and forcing him to walk around barefoot. It’s essential to first help the child develop properly before removing attachment items.

Difficulty letting go of attachment items is a good indicator of a possible deeper issue. As parents, therapists, and educators, we can help our children thrive by encouraging the development of their inner systems and enhancing their self-awareness of what they need to self-soothe.

Paci Pointers ◊ If a baby falls asleep sucking on his pacifier, it’s advisable to remove the pacifier once he’s still lightly asleep.

Looking Inward Babies start out in the perfectly nourishing environment of the womb, and then they are suddenly exposed to light, sound, and movement. Starting at birth and continuing as he grows, if a child has the security of knowing Mommy is there to hold him, he can tap into that place of feeling calm. Attachment items can help with that purpose, but at the same time, we want to teach our children coping and internal regulation skills. As mothers, we first need to focus on regulating ourselves, so our children can feed off that and learn these skills intrinsically. The tips we provided may sound great, but we know it can be tough when it comes down to implementing them. Take the time to work on it when your child is young. By helping your baby and child learn techniques to regulate internally, you may have an easier time with them when they’re five, with the help of Hashem.

◊ If a toddler gets a boo-boo or is otherwise upset, it’s tempting to offer a paci. Try to replace that with holding him, reading a story, or talking to him. In this way, you are giving the child other tools to help him calm down. ◊ When the time comes to say goodbye to the pacifier, it’s a good idea to involve the child in the process. The pacifier tree in Boro Park (boasting hundreds of pacis from children who have moved on) is a brilliant example; it creates a situation for the child in which he has control over hanging the paci onto the tree but no control on taking it back. If you’re not lucky enough to have a paci tree in your front yard, you may want to ask your kid to put the paci in an envelope and “mail” it to someone else.

For more information and tips, check out our blog and podcasts on our website, Handsonotrehab.com. We will be running an 18-day self-regulation challenge for parents after Yom Tov. To sign up, email register@handsonapproaches.com. It can be accessed on social media or via a call-in conference. Friedy Singer and Roizy Guttmann are neurodevelopmental therapists and the directors of Hands on OT Rehab Services, Hands on Approaches, and the H.O.P.E. (Hands on Parent Empowerment) Foundation. They are focused on educating and empowering the community to help children with anxiety, processing and learning issues. They can be reached at info@handsonapproaches.com WELLSPRING / TISHREI 5782

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WELLBEING MENTAL HEALTH FEATURE PANEL

On the Subject of Simchah In honor of Zeman Simchaseinu, Wellspring presents an insightful discussion on joy—how to tap into it, how to inspire it in others, and how to lead an all-around happier, calmer life.

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David Lieberman, PhD, is a noted speaker and award-winning author with a renowned insight into the human condition. His 12 books, which have been translated into 26 languages and include two New York Times best sellers, have sold millions of copies worldwide. Blending the wisdom of Torah with cutting-edge research, Dr. Lieberman’s writings and lectures captivate both scholar and layman alike, and are enjoyed by people at all levels and from all backgrounds.

Rabbi Ezra Friedman coaches bachurim and men in their quest toward leading a meaningful life with inner peace and contentment. Through a Torah and Chassidus perspective, he guides individuals to understand and connect to themselves and to their inner emotional world. He lives with his family in Yerushalayim.

Rebbetzin Basie Rosenblatt, LCSW, is actively involved in her family life (her priority), while maintaining a private psychotherapy practice in Brooklyn and Lakewood. As the wife of a Rosh Yeshiva, she happily hosts her family and friends, as well as the bachurim from the yeshiva.

Chani Juravel, LCSW, is a popular lecturer and therapist living in Rockland County, New York. She sees individuals and couples in her private practice, both in person and remotely. Her newest book, Sefirah in Our Lives (Feldheim), has just been released.

MENTAL HEALTH PANEL

In general, I don’t feel happy. Even when I do, it’s usually not long before I feel “down and out” again. What’s one powerful piece of advice you’ve found to be instrumental in increasing happiness? Dr. David Lieberman It’s our own fears and insecurities that don’t allow us to leave our comfort zone and make us feel trapped inside. We’re afraid to take that leap to do what we believe will bring us joy because we wonder, “What if I fail?” “What will they say?” But really, we should be pursuing whatever is meaningful to us. The more meaning something has, the more joy we can extract from it. If you want to feel good, you have to do good. If you set out to merely feel good, you often wind up feeling lousy. Tell yourself, “If something speaks to my neshamah, I will overcome my ego-based fears and do it.” Unless a pathological issue is involved, we’re very often stuck because of those fears, but when break through them, that’s where we feel most alive. The comfort zone is called by its name because it is comfortable, but when people move out, even incrementally, they start to feel alive. When we follow our neshamah rather than being guided by own fears and insecurities, we increase our chances for happiness.

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Chani Juravel, LCSW Most of us find that our minds gravitate more naturally to negativity and bad news than to what is positive and happy. For some reason, the negative is more intriguing. I’m not sure that taking our “happiness temperature” and being concerned when we’re not quite there is so helpful. It is totally natural have ups and downs, and we don’t just plateau on a happy plane. Think about it: Hashem gives us the directive to make one hundred blessings a day, which only goes to prove that focusing on the blessings and happy features of life is an avodah. If it was natural, we wouldn’t need to be instructed to do so. Therefore, berating ourselves for being less than perpetually positive is unfair and unrealistic. That being said, there are ways to encourage a more positive mindset. Happy is a state of mind that we usually feel when we do things we feel good about. It’s what we feel when we’re satisfied with who we are and with what we already have. And it is definitely fueled when we feel needed in some way and can activate our giving potential. We tend to believe that we need something to change, happen, or improve to get to a happy place. However, this is not what will lead to lasting happiness, because then there will be the next thing we’re missing and hoping for. Clearly, it’s a far better bet to find happiness in our thoughts and through our actions, which are always in our control. It’s so hard to make changes within, but even if we have the tendency to think negatively, studies in neuropathy prove that our brains can accommodate new patterns. When trying to steer your mind away from negativity and criticism, don’t expect a total turnaround. Begin by spending a couple of minutes a day asking yourself, “What’s not wrong right now?” Even if it’s not “perfect” or “happy” per se, starting with this is a great shift. Focus in a mindful way on what’s working out right now: the shoes that fit, the feel of your sweater, the color of paint in the room, the way the breeze feels on your face. Then think about the parts of your body that are working as they should, the people you love and who love you, etc. For many of us, this exercise is surprisingly difficult. Sometimes, in the middle of a heated therapy session, I’ll ask a couple to stop the action and spend a few minutes doing this exercise, asking one another what’s not wrong right now, and really listening to each other’s answers. It’s magical! They’ll say things like, “We’re working on our marriage because we want to be better to each other.” “You’re still cute!” “I like that you’re listening to me.” It is such a powerful reminder of what isn’t unhappy.

Rabbi Ezra Friedman

Basie Rosenblatt, LCSW

What you’re essentially asking is, “How can I tap into the happiness inherent in me that I feel so distant from?” Contrary to popular belief that a human being lives in darkness and that happiness is something he needs to work hard to acquire, it is actually inherent in each of us, but is often buried deeply within.

Joy! Happiness! This is such an important topic because so many people feel challenged by this. Some people are naturally wired to see things optimistically and some people have a harder time with that, and justifiably so. Life throws a lot of curveballs at people, and it can be very difficult to get through hard times. It can also be disheartening when things don’t change in the way we’d like them to. In addition, some of us were fortunate to have been raised in an environment that was kind, optimistic, happy, and vibrant, and others weren’t. These are all factors that may contribute to how easily we feel happiness.

If you look at young children, you’ll notice that they’re naturally content. As I’ve shared in these pages in the past, a story is told of the Brisker Rav zt”l who once entered a shul, flanked by his gabbai, and watched as the kids frolicked happily. “They have no stresses,” the gabbai remarked. “So of course they’re happy. With no mortgage to pay and no mouths to feed, what do they have to be anxious about?” The Rav replied, “No, no, no. You’re making a mistake. Hashem created nature in a happy state.” Indeed, the birds chirp, and the skies and the earth are in a constant state of thanking Hashem, as we read in Perek Shirah. All creations are created happy. “These children,” continued the Rav, “are still close to their shoresh. Since they’re more connected to their root—to their core of simchah—than adults are, they’re happy.” So the question really is, “How can I become more connected to my shoresh of simchah? I feel so far away from it. With the negativity I’m experiencing right now, it’s hard to believe my essence is one of light.” The answer is that we need to peel away the layers that have piled up over time, burying the wellspring of simchah underneath. Perhaps the greatest obstacle to happiness is the constant need to have, which goes hand in hand with the notion of, “I don’t have enough. I am not enough. This is not good enough for me.” The more focused we are on what we don’t have, whether physical assets (“I don’t have enough money/investments/friends/clothes”) or emotional states (“I’m not famous/talented/successful/stimulated/worthy enough”), the more we draw ourselves away from our inner fount of happiness. This constant desire for more, more, more, not only makes us anxious and unhappy, it also drives us away from focusing on the good that we do have— of which there is plenty. This is where the avodah lies. Indeed, Chazal already taught us this gem centuries ago: “Eizehu ashir? Hasameiach bechelko.” The lower the desire for more, the greater the happiness. Wealth is not dependent on how much we have; it is dependent on how little we need. As Rashi wisely notes, the root of the word evyon, which is translated as pauper, is the same as the word taivah, greed for more. The essence of an evyon, he explains, is not someone whose bank account is in overdraft; someone who doesn’t have. Rather, it is someone who constantly seeks more, more, more; he is “t’eiv lechol davar—unhappy with his lot.” In other words, even someone we perceive as an osher can in fact be an evyon. Dedicating a few minutes each day to focusing on what you do have, to cherishing those blessings and to thank Hashem for them, is a spiritual tip to help you tap into the emotional reservoir of happiness within.

There’s no denying it that people experience challenges—because that’s the way the Eibeshter wants it to be—but what definitely helps us get through those times, or life in general, is to look at life through a lens that’s not as bleak and dark. We can choose to see things in a way that makes us feel a little better. One successful intervention I often suggest to my clients is to put a frown on their face for 30 seconds and feel the energy that comes along with it. Then, I ask them to put a smile on their face and see what happens. As interesting as it sounds, putting a smile on our face even when things are difficult is one of the easiest ways to change our energy. Research has proven that real physiological change occurs in the body when we move our facial muscles in this way. Another way to generate happy and positive thoughts is through keeping a “bank” of memories. Write down four or five pleasant experiences you’ve had in the past, from any time in your life, when things just felt right and good. You can retrieve that memory when you need a boost of happiness. This is a nice, cognitive way to increase happiness, as well. Joy and happiness are emotions that so many try to achieve and to own. It is proven that learning, hard work, accomplishing a task, and reaching a goal contribute to happiness. If you want to increase your joy and happiness, consider working toward a goal, finishing something you’ve started and the accompanying sense of fulfillment this generates. People who try this describe feeling happier, with more energy and motivation.

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MENTAL HEALTH PANEL

What is one efficient way to encourage another individual to feel joy and to bring happiness into their life?

Dr. David Lieberman Joy is directly linked to gratitude. If you think of the people in your life who are most grateful, you’ll notice that they’re also the ones who are most besimchah. Those who move through life with a sense of entitlement can have everything going for them, but because they’re focused on what’s missing, they’ll always be one step away from what can make them feel happy and fulfilled. Rabbi Noach Weinberg zt”l used to say, “If you’re not happy with what you have, you’ll never be happy with what you get.” Over 200 studies on the subject indicate the same findings: people who practice gratitude, whether through a journal, meditation, or other means, all report feeling a greater sense of happiness and wellbeing. With gratitude comes joy; they are intimately linked. And so, one great way to helping others (and ourselves) infuse their lives with happiness is to help them orient their perspective to focus on what’s going right. When done with the right intentions and in a caring manner, this can really help them see the good in their lives and feel better.

Rabbi Ezra Friedman We must first understand what’s at the core of the other person’s unhappiness so we can truly be of help. As we discussed in my previous answer, a person’s constant need for more is his greatest obstacle to joy. Generally, if a person is chronically unhappy (with the exception of pathological conditions), this is what they’re experiencing—not having or not being enough, and it’s this lack that drives them to sadness. So, whether it’s your child, spouse, student, client, or friend, what can you do to help? Be that person in whose presence they do not feel this lack. By being there for them, loving them the way they are at this current moment, not expecting them to be someone or something they’re not, and not projecting anything from them—that’s the key to helping them tap into their own happiness. In your presence, they will feel “I am good enough as I am. I do have enough,” because for you they don’t need to have or be anything in order to feel loved and appreciated. The more they get to experience this positive feeling, the more they will learn to accept themselves unconditionally, which is the ultimate path to happiness. 164

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Basie Rosenblatt, LCSW I don’t think people want unsolicited advice. No one wants to hear, “Well, snap out of it!” A person who exudes a sense of simchah and the feeling that “something is right” will affect the people around them, who will notice the positive energy. Most people love being around happy people! I had the good fortune of being raised in a very positive, happy atmosphere, by a very positive, loving mother, Mrs. Hinda Tress a”h. Nothing could go wrong in my mother’s eyes. Certainly, there were some challenges, but we never felt there was a crisis. Her faith in Hashem never faltered. “He knows what He’s doing,” she would say. “He has a plan, and we don’t question it!” My mother had that rhythm in her soul and a song in her heart. She would often break into song or dance around the kitchen table with us! She always had a smile on her face, and she encouraged joy in everyone around her. People who have a hard time feeling joy should seek out the company of happy, optimistic people who will help them to see the positive and to believe in possibility of things changing for the good.

Chani Juravel, LCSW I don’t know if anyone, unless they specifically ask, wants to be pushed in any direction from whatever mood they’re in. Sometimes it’s more effective and supportive to just be with them wherever they are. Rushing someone out of an uncomfortable mood or painful feeling may not be fair. Hashem offers us the model of “imo anochi betzarah.” He’s with us in our pain, and we are never “too much” for Him. The more empathy we can offer someone during their low time, the more we can truly feel with them in a happy time. Holding all of each other’s emotions is G-dly and forges deeper connections. If you are asked to play the role of encourager, I suggest you follow the ideas I gave in the previous answer. Remind the person that they make you happy just by being who they are. Positive psychology recommends a tool known as “savoring.” This involves holding on to the memories of happy and/or inspirational things you’ve experienced and reliving them. Reminding someone of good times you may have shared and revisiting them may be helpful, too. When I asked my mother how her family found happiness and hope in wartime, she said, “We knew that if the good times didn’t last, the bad times wouldn’t, either.” That’s an important idea to keep in mind.

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How can I get along with someone who irritates me?

Rabbi Ezra Friedman The first key to handling such a situation is not to react from the emotion. When we respond from the emotion, the interaction will either escalate into a full-blown fight (which harms others) or we numb our own feelings (which harms us). So, first things first, take a step back. When you notice yourself feeling irritation or any unpleasant emotion in the presence of someone, or while interacting with them, give yourself a place to acknowledge it: “I am feeling unpleasant feelings/irritated/hurt right now. Yes, I’m getting very nervous.” Focus on your feelings with honesty. Don’t just tell yourself, “He’s not bothering me, but…,” and don’t react by instantly fighting back either. By acknowledging how you’re feeling and giving yourself space to feel it, you’ll decrease the chances of responding from emotion, and you’ll facilitate the opportunity for a healthier relationship. There’s no mitzvah to place yourself in a nisayon. On the contrary, if it is possible to avoid interactions with this person, thereby preventing transgressing lo sisna es achicha bilvavecha and other prohibitions, go for it. 166

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But, if there is no way out, or if you feel ready to work on yourself, you can look deep inside and ask yourself, “What feeling comes up for me when I interact with this person and why?” The truth is that what irritates us most are the parts of ourselves we’d rather not pay attention to. When we see them in others, that self-irritation is simply brought to the fore. And so, if I find myself getting annoyed at someone, it’s probably an indication that I still have work to do on the particular aspect of this person that triggered me. Sometimes, I might be with someone who acts upon their temper, or is very anxious and fidgety, and I can stay calm without getting irritated. I might pity the person but not feel annoyed. But when I feel aggravated, it’s an indication that I’m trying to avoid this same characteristic in myself. When we take this perspective, we are not only taking the opportunity to work on ourselves, we’re also taking the best route to improving the relationship, because, as we know, changing ourselves is hard enough; changing a middah in others is practically impossible.

Basie Rosenblatt, LCSW Find something good about the person and let them know you noticed. If you want to make the relationship work, focus on a positive attribute; don’t harp on the negativity. This could be something they said, something they’ve done, or even something they’re wearing. Just find a way to compliment them. If you focus on looking for what’s not good in a person, you’ll certainly find it, and the same is true when it comes to our children and children-in-law, as well. If we invest time in looking for the good in them, it will help us move past irritation. It will elevate us and the entire environment.

Dr. David Lieberman There are many things we can do to help us get along with people. I’ve written a couple of books on this topic specifically. In my talk for the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation Tishah B’Av Event, I offered a perspective that resonated with a lot of people. We discussed that empathy, feeling someone else’s pain, forges connection, and I explained that whenever we’re having a conversation with someone, we’re either focused on their feelings or on our feelings. If we’re feeling irritated, we’re focused on our own pain, our own discomfort. But if we’re focusing on the other person’s feelings, we can’t be irritated because we’re not focused on ourselves. It’s always good to remind ourselves that had we lived that person’s life, we probably wouldn’t have done things any differently. Every individual has his own history, his own journey he’s traveled, and so much of what we do and don’t do is a direct result of that. Chazal say that the reason we feel irritated by another individual is because there’s something about this person that reminds us of something in ourselves that we’re not willing to acknowledge. The other person is serving as our mirror, reflecting something we’re uncomfortable with. And so, when we’re feeling agitated by someone, it’s an opportunity to ask ourselves, “What is it about this specific behavior that’s bothering me? Is it an aspect of myself that I don’t like very much?” Our irritation may also be due to transference—this person reminds us of someone from our past around whom we felt unpleasant emotions. This all happens subconsciously, but once we make the connection, it dissipates.

Much research has been devoted to proving that individuals have the ability to change their energy within; it is true that we can be drawn to negativity, but we also have the power to draw ourselves away from it. There will always be people in our life who are irritating. We can either focus on what’s bothering us or say to ourselves, “This person may truly be annoying, but I can still find something good in them.” However, if a specific person is constantly dragging you down, find a way to spend less time with them. Keep your conversations short, and be mindful of the direction you’re being pulled in. If you find yourself being sucked into negativity, draw back.

Chani Juravel, LCSW There are some people in our lives who will never be our cup of tea. One way to make it easier to tolerate them is to think of how the irritation may actually benefit you. If life is a workout, it’s the exercise that makes us charley horse that always gets us to a better place. The people who force us to flex new muscles help us become greater. Does she force you to be more patient? Does he help you move away from being judgmental? As unnatural as it is to get along with more difficult people, it helps to focus on where this challenge is bringing you and why it’s worth it to keep trying. It may also help to do the following exercise: Write a list of all the worst feelings this person brings out in you at the most frustrating times (incompetent, unappreciated, angry, confused, etc.). As a rule, the way a person makes you feel is the best information you can have about the way they feel inside. Step away from personalizing those feelings and reflect on the fact that you now have a window into the other person’s soul. Chances are, they feel incompetent, unappreciated, angry, and confused. Once you know it’s not about you, your anger may even morph into a degree of compassion.

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I find myself unable to focus and I feel anxious most of the time. I constantly need a change of pace, color, or scenery to keep myself going. What could be the reason for this?

Chani Juravel, LCSW

Basie Rosenblatt, LCSW

The reason may be an incredibly beautiful one. You have been created in the image of Hashem, and He is a Mechadesh. He represents the capacity to create the world anew each moment, and to constantly bring change of all sorts and dimensions. We therefore all have a need on some level for chiddush, and this is why so much about happiness is about setting and achieving realistic goals.

Some people have been challenged with a short attention span from their early youth, and it doesn’t help that we live in a go-go-go world, which is uber stimulating. But even so, it’s important to be able to sit and focus at times and not always have to switch gears.

It’s ironic; so often, parents are afraid that if their kids have to work too hard, they’ll be uncomfortable and unhappy. But without work and stretching themselves and the satisfaction of goals achieved, they will never feel real simchah! They may be sacrificing the possibility of achieving a real sense of simchah and chiddush for the sake of maintaining the illusion of “happy”—just because it’s comfortable. Reaching somewhere new is exciting and we all get energized by it. And if we don’t find “new” in positive ways, we may look for it somewhere less ideal. Our need for “new” is also why we are all happiest with not only new places on the map but new places in our souls—fresh starts, forgiveness, etc. The happiest Yom Tov is Sukkos because it follows Yom Kippur, when our slate is wiped clean. If you rearrange the vowels in the word simchah, it spells out shemachah, the power of erasure. There’s nothing happier than being gifted total forgiveness and the chance to start fresh. “New” really is happy, so it makes sense that you crave new experiences! 168

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Even people with a short attention span can find a niche in life that feels comfortable for them, where they can sit for a bit longer and relax. This might be music, artwork, reading a book, or meeting a friend once a week. Carve out time in your life when you can do those things. If you find that certain tasks or duties are just too much for you and want to move away from them as quick as possible, keep in mind that you don’t have to be happy-happy every second. It’s okay to just be, to sit with the discomfort. You don’t have to love everything you’re doing. Tell yourself, “I may not want to do this now, but I feel grateful I can do it even if I don’t love it.” Some people find it challenging to balance the books, while for others, it’s the laundry. Some are challenged by housework, and some by homework. It’s okay to avoid some of the tasks that put you off, but for others, it’s wise to learn how to sit through the discomfort. Keep reminding yourself that you’ll get through this and that you don’t have to love everything, every minute—but try to stick it out until the end. It’s important for us to live our lives so that we are a “living legacy of joy.” We should do it for ourselves and for those we love.

Dr. David Lieberman

Rabbi Ezra Friedman

There may be a lot of reasons for this. One is that you may be exposed to too much stimulation. Our frequent multitasking, despite being celebrated, may actually bring about this kind of reaction in our brain. The brain becomes unable to filter out unnecessary information. And so, whatever comes into our daled amos, we pay attention to. One of best things to do to combat this is to spend a few minutes a day focusing on only one thing at a time. This can really dissipate the anxiety that’s being exacerbated by overstimulation.

In general, all of these issues—not being able to focus and not being able to feel calm—are a sign of stress. Stress pushes the individual into a very uncomfortable position, where they constantly feel irritated and uneasy, and this detracts from their focus.

Mindfulness meditation is also an excellent option. It actually facilitates physiological changes in the brain. In astounding research, scientists have found that when meditation is practiced, the amygdala, which is the part of the brain that generates fear and anxiety, begins to shrink within six weeks, and the prefrontal cortex, which enables executive function, increases in size. I would also recommend certain nutritional supplements that support tranquility, such as L-theanine; calcium and magnesium, which should be taken together; inositol; and vitamin B12, for central nervous system support. Proper sleep and nutrition and staying away from stimulants like caffeine and nicotine are vital too. This may not change everything for you, but it will definitely improve the situation. In all fairness, I believe it’s important to note that we are all born with different personalities and temperaments. Type-A personalities will naturally be more high-strung and assertive, while those of the type-B variety will be more laid back. Just because someone wants to keep doing is not necessarily a red flag. Ask yourself, “Am I getting energized from doing or am I getting burned out from doing?” A person who can’t sit still isn’t necessarily feeling anxious. The question is, does what you’re doing recharge your batteries or drain your batteries? It’s not one size fits all; it’s always a good idea to see what works for you. Everyone needs to recharge in their own way. Not being able to sit with yourself for a long time may be an indication of an emotional issue, but not always. Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski zt”l used to speak about this often, and how it spurred his quest for self-esteem, a topic on which he ended up authoring tens of books. He would share that he found it very hard to sit with himself and realized that this was a problem. He embarked on a self-exploration journey and came to the conclusion that when we don’t want to be with ourselves, it may be because we don’t like ourselves. Those who can’t be by themselves without any stimulation would clearly benefit from recentering themselves.

To submit questions for our upcoming mental health panel, please write to info@wellspringmagazine.com, subject “Mental Health Panel.”

We’re very accustomed to thinking that stress is a result of technical duties, such as paying the mortgage, taking care of the kids, and accomplishing all our errands. While this is true, what really exacerbates our stress and generates this anxious response is the emotional component of these duties. For example, when I’m with my kids, what may be stressing me out more than figuring out how to entertain them is the fear I experience of whether or not I’m parenting right. Universal fears, such as of not being good enough, of feeling unloved or unworthy, of not achieving enough, weigh down more heavily than the technical duty at hand. Simple evidence of this reality is that people will often say they feel stressed even when there isn’t a particular technical matter that’s pressing for them. They simply don’t understand why they’re feeling anxious, even when they’re, say, on vacation. Very often, this kind of anxiety is rooted so deeply within, possibly even from childhood, that it’s hard for us to simply “get away from it,” even when technical matters are dealt with. Rather than trying to eliminate the immediate stressors, which are often just a part of daily life, it may be worth it to go back and notice what it is about our past that’s causing us to feel so anxious until this day. One of the most effective techniques to help foster a calmer state of mind, which I’ve personally witnessed, is deep breathing. Conscious breathing, performed in a tranquil environment, not only helps facilitate better focus and clearer thinking, it also helps tap into the subconscious and explore buried thoughts and feelings that have been weighing the individual down for years. If you find it consistently hard to be calm and remain focused, it’s a good idea to deal with the emotional stress going on inside you, so you can enjoy peace of mind and quality of life.

Note: This panel is intended for individuals in healthy relationships.

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Five women answer the question: What helps you be?

By Libby Kasten

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While concepts like mindfulness and encouraging stillness may sound New Agey and geared toward the millennials of 2021, the importance of being, of coming to a place of stillness in order to connect to oneself, are cornerstones in our avodas Hashem. Sukkos is one Yom Tov that highlights this. After the intensity of the Yamim Nora’im, spending time in the sukkah with family and friends and taking in the feeling of being enveloped in the hug of the Shechinah inspires us to think about the spirit of the Yom Tov, and how it relates to us as individuals and in our connection to Hashem. On Sukkos, we are commanded to fulfill three mitzvos. First, every man is instructed to inspect and select his arba minim, tie them together as one, and shake them in the proper manner. Second, we are told to build a sukkah and sit inside it, each moment within amounting to additional mitzvos. And third, we are instructed to be b’simchah. The arba minim involve taking physical action, practically doing and accomplishing something. But dwelling in the sukkah focuses on the act of being, which lends itself to thought, reflection, and connection. These two mitzvos correspond to the two opposing parts of a human being. In our daily lives, when physical and practical actions consume so much of our energy and mind space, we need to be mindful of keeping the balance by also spending time in a state of being. This connects us to our personal essence and reframes our priorities, so we remain in tune with our purpose in this world. Maintaining the balance of these two elements brings a person to a state of shalom, peace of mind, which lends itself to experiencing the third mitzvah of Sukkos: being b’simchah. Despite how accomplishment-driven as our society has become, through our own efforts we can come to a place of stillness that will enable us to tap into the joy Hashem wants us to feel—on Sukkos and every day.

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I’m sitting in the chilly waiting area, blue chairs arranged in two open squares. With my son in the operating room, my mother sitting beside me, and my Tehillim open on my lap, my lips remain still as my mind wanders. I watch as a young mother parks a double stroller in a nook in the hallway, a large baby bag hanging over the wide handle, and settles herself in a chair to my left. A nurse walks over to a woman sitting to across from me, crouches down to her eye level, and speaks so softly that I cannot make out what she is saying. The woman (a wife? mother? sister?) begins to sob silently into a tissue, repeatedly checking her watch and the screen of her phone. A couple sitting opposite me is teaching their little girl how to play a game on the large computer screen mounted on the carpeted wall. We all wait. All thoughts of supper, the kids at home, my work responsibilities, upcoming preparations for a family wedding, are momentarily filed away. I’m reminded of the fragility of human life, and of the wonders in natural healing and medical advancement Hashem has blessed us with. I muse about the relationships between individuals—children and their parents, spouses, brothers and sisters. I think of the only enduring relationship that is forever, that of Hashem and His world, His People, each of His dear children. When my name is called and I chase the edge of my son’s bed as it is wheeled into the recovery area, I feel refreshed, my fear of the post-surgical symptoms dulled.

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We sit on a slanted boulder, its peak jutting out of the oceanfront sand, staring at the vastness of sea. Here, so far from my kitchen, washing machine, and to-do lists, I see only the sky, the waves, the sand. I feel myself breathing, thinking, existing. I remember a teacher in high school speaking of silence, of how talking while observing nature’s beauty ruins the spell and cheapens the moment, and I suddenly understand what she must have meant. Awe at the beauty of the world Hashem created fills me, and I can sense His hashgachah over every detail inherent in this masterpiece. I breathe deeply and exhale, letting all the worry and anxieties I thought were mine alone slide off my shoulders and join the waves receding into the ocean. When we return home the next day, my step is lighter. I am but a tiny speck in the briah, fully controlled by Hashem. How senseless it is to worry about the future.

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Here, five women answer the question: What do you do when the doing becomes overwhelming and you feel the need to be and connect to yourself? Being mindful. For example, I try to remain conscious of the flavors and visual appeal of foods I’m eating. I work on connecting to the wondrous briah, rather than just grabbing food while doing other things or being distracted during meals. This enriches the physical need I’m taking care of and leaves me feeling a lot more satiated, both physically and emotionally.

Chaya, 30

When I consciously take the time to sort through my feelings and thoughts, rather than constantly moving on to the next thing that needs to get done or planned, I feel more relaxed and connected to myself. Sometimes, I’ll stay in bed for an extra few minutes of quiet before rushing into the day ahead of me, and just pay attention to what’s on my mind, clearing the clutter.

Fraida, 27

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I try to stay off the phone unnecessarily during the afternoon hours, from when the children are home from school until bedtime. I wish I could do this all the time, because it makes such a difference to the way everyone behaves and feels. Afternoons with a few young children while distracted by phone conversations used to be an exhausting stretch of moving from one activity to another, trying to keep kids out of my own—and each other’s—way while getting supper ready or preparing for Shabbos. Once I began focusing on being present together with them, for example, preparing for Shabbos with the kids’ help, everyone, including myself, became a lot calmer. They usually fall asleep more easily, as well. Leah, 39

When things get overwhelming, I know I need time alone. Depending on the stage I’m at and the time of year, that sometimes means taking five minutes for myself first thing in the morning, before the making-the-bus-rush begins, alone in a room, or sitting outdoors on my own during the nicer weather seasons. I also try to do housework without always speaking on the phone or listening to a shiur, to consciously spend time with my own thoughts and let them flow. I find that this puts me in a calm, organized frame of mind, and keeps negative thoughts from resurfacing. Libby, 26

I wish I’d really do this consistently, but what I know I need to do is get outside and spend time with nature. Being with nature makes me feel like just a small dot in this huge universe. It rejuvenates me and reframes things for me.

Hadassah, 23

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FEATURE

To Nurture the Bond

Compiled by Shiffy Friedman

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What’s one tidbit of advice that has impacted your marriage in a meaningful way?

Responses

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FEATURE

If you choose to see the positive in your spouse, you’ll find it. If you choose to see the negative, it’ll jump at you.

Yael B., 30 - Heard at: A marriage lecture

Your connection to your spouse isn’t only limited to this world. You share an eternal bond, which will continue in Olam Haba. You have this life to invest in that.

P. Neustien, 27 - Heard from: Mrs. Leah Richeimer, the Ladies Talkshow

Difference of opinion is fine and healthy; arguing is not.

Yoel C., 27 - Received from: marriage counselor

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Call your spouse “just because” every day. And make that phone call only about positive conversation.

Ita Leah M., 22 - Received from: My kallah teacher

Don’t share anything about your married life with friends or siblings. Sharing causes jealousy and unhappiness. This is an incredible piece of advice that holds true always, always, always. No exceptions. Just keep quiet about anything marriage related—both the gifts and the rifts. Sharing brings no good. And, when others share how happy they are in their marriage, or what good things their husband has done for them, don’t believe a word of it.

E. Moskowitz, 24 - Received from: My mother, two days before I got married

There is only one time that you should not raise your voice to your spouse: the first time.

Mimi Frenkel, 29 - Received from: Rebbetzin Dinah Fink

Everyone has a hard time adjusting. Everyone sometimes feels like they’re putting on a show. You can do it too.

C. Strassman, 21 - Received from: A close friend, married over a decade

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FEATURE

Your husband wants you to have a good time. Don’t feel guilty when going out with a friend once in a while, even if you’re running late.

Yocheved M., 34 - Advice I wish someone gave me

Your children are yours for 20 years or so; your husband is yours forever.

Michal O., 46 - Received from: Chayale Hoff, kallah teacher

Even if you’re floating on cloud nine, never stop davening.

Bina E., 24 Received from: A friend

Never expect a thing, so any help you get will be a bonus.

Aviva M., 32Advice I give myself all the time

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Let your husband decide everything for you. Literally, everything. It’ll make him want to choose what’s good for you. Wife: What should we have for supper today? Husband: You like chicken and couscous, right?

G. Wiesel, 25 - Received from: My mother, who has an incredible marriage

“When I married the Rebbe, he was just a nice bachur.” Life is a journey you take together. Your husband is not your father, rosh yeshivah, rav, or any individual you wish him to be yet. You grow to that place together.

Yitty B., 29 - Received from: My kallah teacher, quoting the Novominsker Rebbetzin

Your husband’s gashmiyus is your ruchniyus, and your husband’s ruchniyus is none of your business.

Avigail N., 36 Heard from: Rabbi Paysach Krohn

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FEATURE

If you want to be a queen, treat him as the king.

Elisheva H., 24 - Received from: My kallah teacher

No one grows in an atmosphere of criticism.

Motti B., 29 - Received from: An article on marriage

Love is not the same as respect. That is, you can build a deep and wonderful connection even if you’re not always in awe of each other’s choices.

Chana Malka, 41 - Received from: My kallah teacher

He’s your husband, not your son. You’re his wife, not his mother.

Mindy B., 25 - Received from: Sara Yoheved Rigler, Kesher Wife Workshop

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Never tell your husband anything negative about yourself. Don’t say “I’m such a klutz,” “I’m terrible at xyz,” because he’ll start to see that in you.

R. Itzkowitz, 28 Received from: My aunt, who’s married for several decades

Exploring Beyond the Surface

Look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Am I at my ideal weight?” No? Why? Because it’s hard to change (eating) habits. Change is hard. Something to keep in mind when we expect change in others, especially our spouse.

Shana H., 37 - Heard from: Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier, The Shmuz

If you concern yourself with your husband’s ruchniyus, you are in reality busy with your Olam Hazeh. And if you concern yourself with your husband’s gashmiyus, you’re connecting to your Olam Haba.

T. Landa, 32 - Received from: Rebbetzin Shaina Halperin

Most of the everyday advice we give and get is simplistic. “Say this to your kids when they walk through the door.” “Don’t do this when you’re having a disagreement with your spouse.” “Follow these three steps for better communication.” Of course, there’s merit to these tidbits; rather live by these rules than not be mindful of them at all. However, there is no denying that simple tips like these address issues superficially. Keeping in mind, for example, not to raise our voice to our spouse, is only targeting an effect, not a cause. If we want to enjoy deep, fulfilling, truly connected relationships, we’ll need to explore deeper. Why do I have an urge to raise my voice? What do I feel I’m suppressing when I don’t end up doing so? What’s going on beneath the surface in the way I view my spouse, myself, and our relationship? It’s not only about maintaining an outer sense of peace; it’s about cultivating it from the inside out. If there’s one relationship in our lives in which working from the inside out is crucial, it’s marriage. Not only is this a most valuable connection that enriches and brings incredible meaning, pleasure, and beauty to our every day, but it is from this relationship that we draw our emotional sustenance. And building a deep relationship goes a lot further than following a list of dos and don’ts. It’s about nurturing the connection, day by day by day. Often, the issues that come up for us in marriage are those that have already been accompanying us for many years. In marriage (as well as in parenting) they simply come to the fore. What we were able to turn a blind eye to in other social settings, such as by shifting friendships or just returning to the safety of our childhood home when social life got too overwhelming or uncomfortable, we are forced to face squarely once we’re committed to building a life together with our spouse. And it’s wise to keep in mind, the issues that come to the fore were custom designed to help us achieve our purpose in this world. For each challenge that comes up, we have our work cut out for us: why is this making me uncomfortable and how can I grow from it? Often, with the help of an objective third party, and with effective, open communication and working through the emotions that come up in marriage, we can come away with a deeper understanding of ourselves, our spouse, and the beauty and depth of this cherished relationship.

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FEATURE

Don’t say anything negative about your spouse’s family for at least the first five years that you’re married. Even if your spouse says negative stuff about their family, they will feel bad if you’re the one expressing it.

Nachman P., 24 - Received from: My Rosh Yeshivah

Spend two minutes every day thinking positive thoughts of your spouse. It’s unbelievable what that can do for your relationship.

Shira M., 35 - Received from: My parenting teacher

Normal is relative. Just because something is normal to you does not make it the norm for everyone. All it means is that that’s what you saw growing up. Your husband grew up somewhere else.

Rina G., 26 - Received from: A wise mentor

If you don’t make your needs and wishes very clear, don’t expect your husband to get the memo. He won’t.

Tali L., 33 - Received from: A marriage counselor (wish I would have known this from the start)

Compliment your husband to his mother, while he’s within earshot. “Ma, he was so helpful today, he did xyz…” Everyone wins; she feels great, and he does too.

Pessie F., 22 - Received from: A friend

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Two things you and your spouse will definitely have different concepts of: time and money.

Liba H., 27 - Received from: A mentor

Marriage is not a 50–50 investment, it’s 100– 100. And when two people invest themselves so completely in each other, paradoxically, what emerges are even more intensely individual and unique personalities, which they then in turn reinvest into each other. It’s the unexpected but inevitable result of vulnerability.

Yaakov Yisrael S., 30 - Heard from: Rabbi Akiva Tatz

Before discussing a contentious issue about your marriage with your husband, talk to Hashem about it. Ask Him for His help in expressing yourself with wisdom, kindness, and clarity.

Henny S., 40 - Received from: An article on marriage

Exploring Beyond the Surface Kibbud av ve’eim is a mitzvah on the kids, but the onus is on the parents in their shalom bayis. A child will automatically respect a parent to the degree that he sees the other parent respect them.

Eli N., 33 Heard from: A lecturer many years ago

Besides for giving ourselves the most incredible gift of a fulfilling marriage, when we invest in this relationship, we are also gifting our children with untold joy and success in their own lives. While it often happens that adult children who grew up with marital discord vow to never make the mistakes their parents made, sadly, the effect of growing up in a tense, hostile, or unstable environment can impact them profoundly. First, it is crucial for a child to grow up with the thought and feeling that their parents love each other. This is what gives them the stability and security they crave. Without this knowledge, they may feel alone and anxious and may find it hard to trust others. Also, marital discord is most often rooted in self-loathing by one or both spouses, and a parent who does not value him or herself cannot possibly value their child, certainly not unconditionally. Such children may therefore grow up feeling unloved, perpetuating a vicious cycle in their own relationships. In addition, when a parent, especially a mother, does not feel fulfilled in her marriage, she may—often subconsciously—draw her approval, appreciation, and emotional connection from her children at a time in their life when they should be the emotional receivers, not the givers. This dysfunctional relationship may leave them feeling emotionally depleted, resentful of giving, and unable to establish their own healthy relationships later in life. In order for our children to thrive, it is our responsibility as parents to not only invest in our parenting, but also in the cornerstone of the home, in the element that draws the Shechinah into our abode—the precious asset that is our marriage. If we don’t do it for ourselves, let us do it for our dear children.

In her practice as an LMSW, Shiffy Friedman realized that her knowledge in psychology was not helpful in healing the infinitely profound nefesh. An intensive search led her to discover the Torah’s direction toward a more connected life. To sign up to receive Shiffy’s weekly message on this subject, write to emotionalwellnessthroughTorah@gmail.com.

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SEPTEMBER 2021 / TISHREI 5782 / ISSUE 68

TOP IT OFF

6 GARNISHES THAT UP THE FLAVOR AND NUTRIENT CONTENT

MY TABLE

WHAT'S FOR CHOL HAMOED DINNER?

STILL NEED ANOTHER SIDE DISH?

CHARNIE'S GOT YOU COVERED

SIMPLY GOOD

TREAT YOUR FAMILY TO THIS FLAVORFUL ROAST

SWEET ENDINGS: WRAP UP YOUR MEAL WITH CARAMELIZED HASSELBACK APPLES

212 Top It Off By Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

217 Energize By Elky Friedman

197 Sweet Endings By Yossi & Malky Levine

203 Sukkos Sides By Charnie Kohn

209 SWAP By Yossi & Malky Levine

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222 My Table Chol Hamoed Dinner

All New Shows Debuting This Fall on Breaking Bread with Danielle Renov

In Breaking Bread with Danielle, you’ll watch her enthusiastic demonstrations as she shares her wealth of cooking knowledge. She’ll be visiting the kitchens of sabras throughout Israel to learn from the natives - a Middle Eastern savory adventure to learn from the unique cultures of the land.

#BHIS

(Baruch Hashem It’s Shabbos!)

with Yussi Weisz

Join Chef Yussi Weisz – from SNAPS – in the kitchen with his mother, baking some fresh, heimishe babka. Yussi is passionate about Shabbos and feeding people; watch him cook up a storm with his mommy. It’s just the right thing to make you exhale with relief: “Baruch Hashem it’s Shabbos!”

Chef Ambush!

YOU HAVE UNTIL 3PM. RUN FOR IT! Kosher.com chefs ambush the realm of home cooking. Celebrity chefs, competition and hilarity converge in this surprising series. Chef Ambush is the show to look out for as newbies learn more about their favorite chefs, their signature dishes and techniques.

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Download the Kosher.com app

WINE ENTHUSIAST

91 ROBERT PARKER

LEGEND Fiddler 2013

DECANTER

ROBERT PARKER

WINE ENTHUSIAST

LEGEND Ho

Secret Reserve Cabernet Franc 2017

94 MOSAIC Exclusive Edition 2016

WINE ENTHUSIAST

DECANTER

91 Robert Parker

SOMM

90 LEGEND Honi 2017

WINE ENTHUSIAST

Mosaic Exclusive edition 2019

WINE ENTHUSIAST

SECRET RESERVE Cabernet Sauvignon 2017

Ultimate Wine Challenge

Edition 2016

SECRET RESERVE Merlot 2019

SECRET RESERVE Merlot 2017

MOSAIC Exclusive

DECAN

SECRET RESERVE abernet Sauvignon 2013

MOSAIC 2016

SECRET RESERVE Petite Syrah 2017

CONSISTENCY

WINE ENTHUSIAST

ROBERT PARKER

91 92

MOSAIC 2017

DECANTER

ROBERT PARKER

DECANTER

SECRET RESERVE Petite Syrah 2017

WINE ENTHUSIAST

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

OUR SECRET

DECANTER

SOMM

DECANTER

SECRET RESERV Cabernet Franc

SECRET RESERVE Cabernet Sauvignon 2017

SECRET RESERVE

SECRET RESERVE Petite Syrah 2017

MOSAIC Exclusive Edition 2017

Privilage 2018

Cabernet Sauvignon 2012

SECRET RESERVE Merlot 2016

WINE ENTHUSIAST

95 DECANTER

WINE ENTHUSIAST

ROBERT PARKER

SECRET RESERVE Cabernet Franc 2017

DECANTER

ROBERT PARKER

SECRET RESERVE Petit Verdot 2017

Cabernet Sauvignon 2014

WINE ENTHUSIAST

DECANTER

SECRET RESERVE Cabernet Sauvignon 2016

SECRET RESERVE

MOSAIC Exclusive Edition 2013

90 SHOR

Cabernet Sauvignon 2018

LEGEND Fiddler 2016

LEGEND Fiddler 2017

SECRET RESERVE Petit Verdot 2017

Ultimate WIne Challenge

MOSAIC 2014

92 95

ULTIMATE WINECHALLENGE

LEGEND Fiddler 2016

WINE ENTHUSIAST

194

SECRET RESERVE Petite Syrah 2017

SOMM

WINE ENTHUSIAST

92 SHOR Barbera 2018

LEGEND Fiddler 2019

9194

SECRET RESERVE Cabernet Sauvignon 2016

WINE ENTHUSIAST

ROBE

LEGEN

ARKER

SECRET RESERVE Petite Syrah 2017

EDITOR'S NOTE

Dear Cooks,

On Yom Tov, when so much centers on food, Seasoned is in the spotlight. Whether it’s a main meal being served or just some refreshments for your family or guests, if you’re the woman of the house, you’ll be found hard at work in the kitchen area. (If you’re the guests, it’s always nice to help out too! And it’s very appreciated.) And that’s why I always say that if we want to have simchas Yom Tov, we have to be excited about the foods we’re serving. Of course, there are many spiritual reasons for us to feel in celebratory mode, but when it comes down to it, if this is the space we’ll be inhabiting for so much of the week, we’ll have to find joy in what we’re doing in order to maintain that happiness. Whether you appreciate the actual flavor of the foods you’re serving, or you enjoy focusing on presentation, find something that makes your heart flutter with excitement. It may just be that you love giving, and serving food is one incredible way to give of ourselves to our family and guests. When we’re cutting, slicing, and dicing, if we’re in it to give, there’s great joy in that too. But when it starts feeling repetitious and draining, it’s a good idea to spice it up so you’ll be able to keep on playing your role with happiness. Maybe you want to try a new recipe for Simchas Torah? Maybe you want to invite a

special guest you’d be excited to host? Whatever it takes to add that kick into what may become tedious, go for it. Because it’s the heart with which we serve our food that determines how those who eat it will feel. And what do we want more than imbuing our family and guests with the joy that is inherent in the Yom Tov? Even if you’ve already stocked your freezer or have your menu planned out, I’d say it’s worth taking a look at the recipes that follow in the next few pages. In this issue’s Seasoned, we bring you fabulous ideas to spice up your Sukkos menu — be it with Charnie’s colorful array of sides or Elky’s “simply good” food, there’s something for everyone. And when the time comes to wrap up that festive, delectable meal, you don’t want to miss out on the Levines’ incredible desserts, all created especially for Seasoned with an emphasis on pure ingredients that leave you — and your sweet tooth — feeling satisfied and good. Another great way to add a kick to your menu is including a garnish, whether on soup or salad. For that, Esti Asher offers some excellent ideas, along with their health benefits. Now go ahead with picking your choices and enjoy imbuing your kitchen experience with as much joy and excitement as possible.

To a healthy, joyous Yom Tov,

PINCH OF HEALTH

Esther

Here’s a recipe for delicious soft serve ice cream. Blend four bananas with 1 bag frozen mango. Freeze in individual cups. Let defrost for about 10 minutes before serving. Tastes amazing!

Faigy Muller

Have a healthy cooking tip to share with the Wellspring community? Please send it to info@wellspringmagazine.com.

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Sweet Endings In our Yom Tov menus, there are always the traditional family favorites that make it onto the list year after year, but then, if you’re anything like us, there’s lots of flipping through cookbooks and leafing through magazines and whatnot to find inspiration for new dishes. When it comes to Yom Tov, especially, dessert is an integral part of our meal. It’s something we like to get creative about, whether it’s flavor combinations, presentation, or both. It just completes the meal in such a beautiful and satisfying way. These desserts are simple, wholesome, and delicious. You may find yourselves coming back to them again and again!

Recipes, Styling, and Photography by Yossi & Malky Levine

SWEET ENDINGS

Caramelized Hasselback Apples Sometimes it’s the simple things in life that bring us such joy! A warm caramelized apple dessert with a delicious crunch, served with ice cream? Yes, please! The hasselback cut, besides for making a pretty presentation, allows the flavor to run between the grooves so you can taste it in every bite! Tip: Choose firm apples with sweet-tart flavor such as Pink Lady or Honeycrisp so they don’t fall apart.

4 large firm apples, peeled, cored, and halved vertically Mixture: 2 Tbsp coconut sugar 2 Tbsp coconut oil ½ tsp cinnamon Oat Crunch: 6 Tbsp coconut sugar 3 Tbsp coconut oil 4 Tbsp oats 2 tsp whole wheat flour ¼ tsp kosher salt

Preheat oven to 400°F. Starting at the outermost edges, cut most (but not all) of the way through each apple half at ⅛-inch intervals. Place apple halves in a baking dish lined with parchment paper. Combine mixture ingredients and brush evenly over the apples. Bake covered for 30 minutes. Uncover and bake for an additional 10 minutes or until apples are tender. Remove pan from oven and set aside. Combine crunch ingredients. Carefully fan open apple halves. Spoon oat mixture evenly over apples. Bake for 10 minutes. Then broil on high for 2 minutes. Serve warm with vanilla ice cream. Yield: 8 servings

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SWEET ENDINGS

Apple/Pear Frangipane Tartlets There’s a special thrill in making desserts that are beautiful, delicious, and use healthy ingredients. These tartlets are just that! You can use either apples or pears for the sliced fruit.

Pie Crust: 2 cups oats 1 cup pecans ¼ cup coconut oil, melted ⅓ cup maple syrup Pinch of salt Frangipane Filling: ¾ cup almond flour ¼ cup coconut oil 3 Tbsp maple syrup 1 egg 1 egg yolk ¼ tsp salt 2 apples or pears, halved and thinly sliced

Preheat oven to 350°F. In food processor, pulse oats, pecans, coconut oil, maple syrup, and salt together until combined. Divide mixture into 4–6 mini tart pans (2–3 inches diameter) and press down firmly with your hands. Bake for 8–10 minutes, or until golden brown. Remove and let cool. For the filling, combine all ingredients and beat until creamy. Pour into baked tartlets, fan a few slices of apples or pears on top, and bake for 30 minutes. Yield: 4–6 tartlets

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SUKKOS SIDES

Side dishes. They can be quite the headache. Fish, soups, and meats are easy to figure out and plan, but when it comes to sides…crickets. Suddenly we go blank. So let’s break this down together. First, it’s nice to serve a starch and a vegetable. The dish either needs to freeze well or be easy to prepare, because who wants to slave in the kitchen for hours during the hectic season? With main dishes being mainly dull colors, we rely on sides to bring a pop of color to the plate. Last, the dish needs to score high on the flavor. Now that we have that figured out, let’s get cooking!

To a beautiful Yom Tov,

Charnie

Recipes, Styling, and Photography by Charnie Kohn

“COUSCOUS”

TRUFFLE CAULIFLOWER

DAY BY DAY

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Warning: you may need to double or triple this recipe to please your family and guests. The flavors are bright, fresh, and oh so delicious!

Total cooking time: 25 minutes

2 Tbsp truffle oil 12 oz riced cauliflower 1 small carrot, diced 1 Tbsp fresh parsley, chopped 2 tsp salt ½ tsp garlic powder ⅛ tsp black pepper

Heat oil over medium-high heat. Sauté cauliflower and carrots for about 15 minutes. Add parsley, salt, garlic powder, and black pepper. Mix well and turn off heat. Note: Can be served warm or at room temperature.

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SMOKY MAPLE

POTATO STACKS

DAY BY DAY

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These elegant potato stacks earn points in beauty and flavor. They are bright, they are savory, they are sweet, and they are just begging to be added to your Yom Tov menu.

Total cooking time: 1 hour Yield: 12 potato stacks

2 potatoes 2 sweet potatoes 2 Tbsp olive oil 1 Tbsp salt 1 tsp smoked paprika ½ tsp garlic powder ¾ tsp black pepper 2 Tbsp maple syrup Chinese pecans

Preheat oven to 400°F. Slice potatoes very thinly. For the most precise results, use a mandolin. Toss potatoes with rest of ingredients, besides maple syrup and pecans. Layer potatoes in lightly greased muffin tins. Stack all the way to the top (they will shrink). Cover and bake for 30 minutes. Uncover and bake for an additional 20 minutes. Top stacks with a light drizzle of maple syrup and some crushed pecans.

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WELLBEING FEATURE

ONE SPREAD ALL BREAD HAVE IN COMMON.

208 WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021 Product ProductofofUSA USA

‫א פרייליכן יום טוב‬

SWA P

By Yossi & Malky Levine

Oil Substitutes

Olive Oil

Olive oil, which has been around since Biblical times, is renowned for its array of health benefits, especially for heart health. Rich in monounsaturated fats, it contains large amounts of antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties. The natural oil obtained from pressing olives—of which the first pressing creates “extra virgin olive oil”—it has a strong fruity flavor and is quite acidic. Olive oil is best used in salad dressings and light shallow frying. It can’t be heated to a high temperature and therefore should not be used for deep frying, but pan frying up to 400°F does work. Olive oil can be used in certain sweet recipes instead of vegetable oil, but bear in mind its strong taste. Try it in a cake with other strong flavors, such as lemon cake or ginger cake, where the lemon or ginger will be more dominant than the olive oil.

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SWAP

Lemon Mousse Shooters We can always use another dessert idea for Yom Tov, right? You may think it odd to use olive oil in a dessert, but trust me, this lemon cake is so deliciously moist and flavorful, it’ll quickly become your family favorite. You can make the lemon cake on its own, in a loaf pan, or add the lemon mousse and layer it up in mini shot glasses for a beautiful presentation.

3 eggs

Lemon Mousse

1 cup organic cane sugar (or alternative sugar)

3 large eggs

½ cup olive oil

¼ cup raw honey

2 Tbsp almond milk

Zest of 1 lemon

Juice of 1 lemon

½ cup freshly squeezed lemon juice

Zest of 2 lemons

6 Tbsp coconut oil, softened

1½ cups almond flour 2 tsp baking powder

Garnish

½ tsp salt

mint leaves and shredded coconut

Preheat oven to 350°F. Beat eggs and sugar for about 3–4 minutes, until pale and fluffy. With beaters on high, drizzle in olive oil. Add milk, lemon juice, and lemon zest, turning speed down to prevent splashing. Add dry ingredients and beat until combined. Pour batter into loaf pan and bake for 40–45 minutes. Insert toothpick to check if it’s ready. For the lemon mousse, add eggs, honey, and lemon zest to medium-sized saucepan. Using a whisk, stir until light in color. Add in lemon juice and coconut oil, and whisk to combine.

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TIDBITS

TOP IT OFF 6 Garnishes and Their Health Benefits By Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

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With Yom Tov coming up, we have the opportunity to prepare even more festive meals than usual. I love serving healthy and flavorful food that is multisensory — tastes delicious, looks beautiful, and has a nice texture and mouthfeel. One of the easiest and quickest ways to achieve this is by adding a garnish. A garnish, generally used to sprinkle over (or strategically place on) meal components in order to decorate a dish, is often an ingredient that is already incorporated in the dish, which means there is little or no additional preparation necessary. I even see the step of adding a garnish (which can take mere seconds) as a form of self-care! A little sprinkle can go a long way. A garnish may wow your palette, increase the visual appeal and presentation of your food, and provide additional nutrients as well. Here are six examples of easy and quick garnishes and an overview of their respective nutrition content.

Pomegranate arils

Slivered almonds

The fall season — especially Rosh Hashanah time — is perhaps the most perfect time of the year to use pomegranate arils. They’re in season, festive, beautiful, and bursting with flavor and antioxidants. You can remove the arils from the pomegranate on your own or treat yourself by purchasing prepared arils. Pomegranates, often touted as a superfood, contain many antioxidants, fiber, vitamin C, potassium, magnesium, and folate.

(First make sure your guests do not have a nut allergy.) Another great essential to keep on-hand, a sprinkle of slivered (or sliced) almonds will automatically upgrade your dish, as well as your nutrient intake. Their texture is satisfying yet light. This versatile ingredient can be used as a garnish in so many dishes. Almonds are a great source of fiber, protein, healthy fats, magnesium, and manganese.

Sunflower seeds

Dried fruit

Shelled sunflower seeds are an underrated ingredient that I almost always have in my pantry. There are so many uses for sunflower seeds, but I most often use them for added texture for my salads and other side dishes, such as rice and quinoa. These seeds include many nutrients such as vitamin E, folate, selenium, and iron.

For a sweet and chewy embellishment, I opt for dried fruit. My go-to is dried cranberries since they’re already small and easy to sprinkle. Other great options include dried blueberries or cherries and raisins. These can be used for both sweet and savory dishes. Dried fruits are generally high in fiber, calcium, iron, and potassium.

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TIDBITS

Is the Secret for Longevity in Your Plate?

Lemon zest Lemon zest (a sophisticated term for lemon peel) is obtained by using a microplane, peeler, or a paring knife. The peel of a lemon contains essential oils that deliver a pure, bright, and fresh, fragrant flavor. The nutritional properties within the essential oils may have an anti-inflammatory affect. Lemons are also a popular source of vitamin C.

Meditation, physical activity, and a healthy diet and lifestyle are all examples of popular ways that are within our control to try to increase our life expectancy. A new, promising, and more specific guideline was recently published with The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. Want to increase your life expectancy by five years? Researchers found that high omega-3 fatty acid levels in the blood may do just that. The study analyzed data from the Framingham Offspring Cohort, in which 2,240 people over the age of 65 were followed for an average of eleven years. The research team found that including oily fish (such as salmon, anchovies, or sardines) in one’s diet on a regular basis can achieve the desired benefit of increased longevity. Further, the American Heart Association recommends eating oily fish at least twice per week in order to reach the recommended amounts of omega-3 fatty acids. Other sources of omega-3 include flaxseed, chia seeds, walnuts, and canola oil.

Color for Cognition You may have tried crossword puzzles to keep your mind sharp, but what about adding a variety of color to your diet? Including an assortment of colors in your food choices has many benefits. First, we eat with our eyes, so to speak, so the visual appeal of a colorful dish enhances our eating experience. Also, each color represents a different vitamin, mineral, or antioxidant; therefore, an array of color ensures a variety of nutrition.

Fresh herbs This classic type of garnish should not be underestimated. Fresh herbs offer a pop of green color and bring vibrancy to otherwise monochromatic dishes such as chicken, rice, or potatoes. Examples of herbs include mint, basil, parsley, and dill, which contain vitamins such as A, C, and K.

Flavonoids are a type of antioxidant found within many fruits and vegetables. Examples of foods high in flavonoids include strawberries, apples, peppers, and oranges. Research published in Neurology, the medical journal of the American Academy of Neurology, found that consuming a half a serving per day of foods high in flavonoids may result in a 20% decreased risk of cognitive decline. The study analyzed data from 49,493 women and 27,842 men with over 20 years of follow-up. Walter Willett, MD, of Harvard University and his team came to this conclusion based off of several questionnaires that participants completed. So there’s yet another reason to add color to your plate.

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD, is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Self-Care Enthusiast on a mission to help women reach their ultimate health and wellbeing potential inside and out. She shares credible, clear, and inspiring nutrition information with women via her virtual private practice. To contact Esti with feedback or inquiries regarding her nutritional services, please email her at: esti@estiashernutrition.com or visit estiashernutrition.com.

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dartmedia.us

YOM TOV MEANS FAMILY TIME.

6 Pouch Multi-Pack Pixie SQZ Leben

Product of USA

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‫ז כ ר ה ו ע ל ה י ין‬

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ENERGIZE y k l E h it Hi all,

This time of year makes us all feel like we’re on a speeding train and there’s no slowing down. We just finished the back-to-school marathon, and the kids are finally back at their desks, but the errands don’t stop there. There’s lots more to tackle before we sit down at our Yom Tov tables. And, of course, that includes heading into the kitchen and preparing the meals that everyone will enjoy so much. That may feel daunting, especially with the number of meals we’ll be serving over this Yom Tov season. But we want to enjoy this time and take pleasure in our work, which is why I’m sharing recipes that will elevate the meals but not complicate your preparation in the kitchen. These recipes are simple to prepare, are pure and wholesome, and will add a special touch to your Yom Tov.

Enjoy in health!

Elky Friedman

Recipes and Text by Elky Friedman Styling and Photography by Pessi Piller

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ENERGIZE

Roast with Sweet ’n Sour Reduction Sauce Nothing like a hearty roast to elevate your Yom Tov table. This recipe allows the natural richness of the meat to shine, yet includes an aromatic sauce that enhances its flavor and keeps the meat soft, tender, and juicy—just what you want for serving your family and guests.

1 rib roast (or other cut of meat), approx 4–5 lbs

Sauce:

3 Tbsp olive oil

2 Tbsp olive oil

Kosher salt, to taste

2 cups balsamic vinegar (or white wine)

Black pepper, to taste

1½ cups dry red wine

Fresh basil, checked and chopped

⅓ cup honey

Fresh thyme, checked and chopped

3 bay leaves

4–5 shallots

2 cloves garlic, crushed Preheat oven to 350°F. Place meat in pan and drizzle with olive oil, then sprinkle with salt and pepper. Add basil and thyme, to taste. Cover pan tightly and bake for 3 hours. Meanwhile, sauté shallots in olive oil in small saucepan,. Add vinegar. Lower flame and let cook for 30 minutes (vinegar will reduce during this time.) Add red wine, honey, bay leaves, and garlic. Let simmer for another 10 minutes. Once ready, remove meat from oven and let cool before slicing. Serve warm, with a heaping spoonful of sauce over each slice. Yield: 8 servings Note: If you prefer a less expensive cut of meat, this recipe works well with minute steak roast (as pictured here) or silver tip roast.

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Vegetable Tartlets Here’s a great way to add color and festivity to your Yom Tov table, with a light and healthy side dish! This one’s really easy to whip up as the vegetables don’t have to be cooked in advance to form the mixture. You’ll love the flavor! 12 mini pie tarts, defrosted 1 24-oz bag California Mix vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, and carrot combo), partially defrosted (this is important!) 1 large zucchini, partially peeled 1 medium Spanish onion 1 egg 2 egg whites 2 Tbsp light mayonnaise ¼ cup almond milk 2 tsp garlic powder 1 tsp onion powder 1 tsp salt ½ tsp pepper Preheat oven to 350°F. Place mini tarts in oven to partially bake for 5–8 minutes. Using shredding blade of food processor, shred California Mix, then transfer to large mixing bowl. Using same blade in food processor, shred zucchini, then onion. Transfer to same mixing bowl. Add egg, egg whites, mayonnaise, almond milk, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, and pepper to shredded vegetables. Spoon mixture into each tart, filling generously. Bake for 35 minutes. Yield: 12 tartlets Note: If you prefer a squash tartlet, follow this recipe, omitting California Mix. Instead, use 2 large green zucchinis and 2 large yellow squashes, shredded. For a more healthful, carb-free option, omit tarts and just bake vegetable mixture in baking dish for 45 minutes, uncovered. While the presentation isn’t as nice, it tastes delicious and adds great color to your main course.

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You’ve just piled into the sukkah after a day out with the family. While everyone’s in good spirits from the fun time you spent together, they’re also hungry. Very hungry. What’s for dinner at your place?

We really enjoy making family barbecues on Sukkos. I buy ready-made hamburgers (I prefer making from scratch but on Sukkos I “treat” myself to the bought variety) and spend about 10 seconds putting some spices on chicken cutlets (we like Mrs. Dash, any variety). We put some colored peppers on the grill and also put out jars of pickles and corn. I serve white buns and whole spelt rolls on the side, so everyone gets to choose their preference. It’s always fun to watch the hungry little ones brimming with excitement when we get the barbecue going.

Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

Compiled by Shiffy Friedman

WHAT’S FOR CHOL HAMOED DINNER?

Shira Savit, MA, MHC, INHC

THIS MONTH

In the pages of Wellspring, we share expert advice from some of the community’s most popular and competent dietitians and nutritionists. In this column, you get to see how they practice what they preach in their own kitchens. Pull up a chair at “My Table” and join the chat.

One of our family’s favorite Chol Hamoed dinners is our “Weekday Cholent.” 8 chicken quarters carrots, squash, and sweet potatoes, chunked 1 cup brown rice 1 cup water paprika, garlic salt, onion flakes, and kosher salt Place chicken in a large crockpot. Add remaining ingredients. Put it up in the morning and a delicious, hot stew is ready for dinner when you get home.

1 Tbsp pink Himalayan salt 1 tsp freshly ground black pepper

beef, chicken, or ground meat (I used pulled brisket and got rave reviews) 3 large onions, sliced

Chicken Crockpot Dinner

4 potatoes

Use whichever potatoes you prefer. I use red or Yukon Gold.

olive oil, for sautéing 1 large onion, diced

6 Tbsp tomato paste

5 cloves garlic, crushed

2 Tbsp apple cider vinegar

½ cup white wine

2 Tbsp honey

2 Tbsp dried rosemary

1 can or bottle beer

2 Tbsp crushed red pepper flakes

salt and pepper, to taste

Rub salt and pepper into roast. Set aside. In a large frying pan, sauté onions until golden. Sear meat for 4 minutes on each side.

Cube carrots, potatoes, and sweet potatoes into large chunks. Place onions on bottom of the crock, then remaining ingredients. Set crockpot on high in the morning, and a delicious dinner awaits.

Remove roast from pan. Reserve sauce. Slice meat when cooled. Serve with reserved sauce.

When we’re out all day, such as on Chol Hamoed, I come home exhausted too. For times like these, I prefer to have the food hot and waiting for us. That’s when crockpot dinners come in so handy. I usually take a soup out of the freezer in the morning so it's defrosted and ready to be poured into the pot to be heated when we get home, and then we have our hearty main course.

4 carrots 2 sweet potatoes

Line a 9x13-inch baking pan with parchment paper, allowing the parchment to hang out of the pan. Place roast in pan. Add garlic and wine to the sautéed onions and pour over roast. Sprinkle roast with dried rosemary and crushed red pepper flakes. Fold remaining parchment paper over the roast to cover. Seal pan well. Bake at 350°F for 4–4 ½ hours.

Bashy Halberstam, INHC

4–5 lbs French roast

Dr. Rachael Teichberg

Rosemary French Roast

Here’s a fabulous recipe for what I call Crockpot Delight because it’s exactly that. It’s my favorite, easy recipe for a hearty go-to for the family — and even when there’s company.

water, to cover

Shani Taub, CDC

Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC

A tasty, soft roast always goes a long way. The biggest treat is that this can roast in the oven all day and will be waiting for you when you get home! Pair it with some mashed potatoes and roasted veggies and you’re set to enjoy a Chol Hamoed dinner.

Capons are a delicious, filling dinner, perfect for Chol Hamoed. I stuff them with cabbage that was sautéed in water with spices. I put it in the oven for the entire day on 275°F.

Grease crock with a thin layer of oil. Place potatoes in the crock. Season to taste (I use salt and pepper). Add a bit of water, about ½ cup, just to start the process, because the chicken will gradually release its liquid. Place the chicken bottoms on top of the potatoes and season well. (I use salt, pepper, garlic powder, paprika). Place carrot sticks, along with large chunks of zucchini, if preferred (don’t cut them small so they’ll retain their shape) on top of the chicken. Season with salt and pepper. Cook for at least 4 hours. If you want it to cook for just 4 hours, set temperature on high. If you want it to cook all day, set on a lower temperature. Turkey drumsticks can be instead of chicken. When I do that, I layer turkey, carrots and squash, then potatoes.

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I would advise you to keep the noodles separate, only serving them in each bowl before pouring soup — they don't stay very well for leftovers when they’re in the soup.

Beef and Broccoli Stir Fry 1 lb boneless steak, sliced into small strips

Crockpots are the most underused gadget for weekdays or Chol Hamoed. If you’re going out for the day, you can put almost anything in it and presto! An easy meal is waiting for you right when you get home from a day’s trip. You can do anything from chicken and sweet potatoes, to chopped meat dishes, to soups, to pareve beanbased dishes. Everything works.

2 lbs ground beef

3 Tbsp cornstarch, divided

1 onion, chopped

2 Tbsp water

3 carrots, chopped

4 cups broccoli florets

4 stalks celery, chopped

1 small onion, diced

2 28-oz cans diced tomatoes, undrained

⅓ cup reduced-sodium soy sauce

Pareve French Onion Soup

1 Tbsp honey

1 16-oz can red kidney beans, drained

1 Tbsp olive oil

1 tsp ground ginger

4 medium onions (about 1½ lbs), sliced (8 cups)

1 16-oz can white kidney beans, drained

garlic powder, to taste

3 10-oz cans beef stock

Instructions:

3 tsp oregano

In a bowl, combine 2 tablespoons cornstarch, water, and garlic powder. Mix well until smooth. Add beef and toss.

2 tsp pepper 5 tsp parsley 1 tsp Tabasco sauce (optional) 1 20-oz jar pasta sauce 8 oz pasta Brown beef in a skillet. Drain fat from beef and add to large crockpot with everything except pasta. Cook on low for 7–8 hours or high 4–5 hours. During last 30 minutes on high or 1 hour on low, add pasta.

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When we have a day out on Chol Hamoed, we eat a lot of quick and on-the-go snacks and meals. By the time we get home in the evening, we love a good warm homecooked meal. Our go-to meal is a beef and broccoli stir fry with pareve French onion soup. Delicious and it sure warms the heart!

Leah Wolofsky, MS, RDN

My favorite meal during Chol Hamoed is Pasta Fagioli, which I got from Olive Garden.

Tanya Rosen, MS, CPT

Yaffi Lvova, RDN

MY TABLE

WELLSPRING / SEPTEMBER 2021

In a large pan over medium high heat, stir-fry beef in cooking spray until beef reaches desired doneness; remove and keep warm. Stir-fry broccoli and onion in remaining oil for 4–5 minutes. Return beef to pan. Combine soy sauce, honey, ginger, remaining cornstarch, and water until smooth; add to pan. Cook and stir for 2 minutes. Serve over brown rice. Yields 4 servings

1 32-oz carton reduced-sodium vegetable broth or 4 cups water 1 cube thyme salt and pepper, to taste 1 bay leaf 2 tsp reduced-sodium soy sauce In a 4-quart nonstick pot, heat oil over medium heat. Add onions; sauté 10 minutes, stirring frequently. Reduce heat to medium-low. Cook 35–40 minutes longer, stirring frequently until onions are light brown. Stir in broth, thyme, salt, pepper, bay leaf, and soy sauce. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low; cover and simmer 15 minutes. Remove bay leaf and serve.

HEART.WORKS

The quill-like Penne pens the tales of Campania. The ridges of a Rigatoni regale the traditions of Sicilia. The concave of a Ravioli, sealed with the secrets of Lombardia. - Gianmarco Bellumori

L'A

ITÀ N O

UTE

Taste Tuscanini. Know Italy.

PUÒ ES

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RANDOM

Age: 41 Location: Lakewood, New Jersey

Questions

Occupation: registered nurse

for

Esther M.

My favorite exercise

charred eggplant (tastes amazing with challah or matzah on Shabbos or Yom Tov)

One misconception I used

aerobics classes at the gym (gives me an opportunity to socialize too)

to have about health:

I’ve always appreciated healthy living, though I failed to pay attention to how connected it is to our emotional world.

kids giving my

One interesting thing I’ve learned about health:

One food I avoid at all costs

Back to the above, how so much of how we feel about ourselves gets reflected in our lifestyle choices.

Healthy supper in a pinch:

food coloring Large salad with lots of nuts and seeds as protein and quinoa or sweet potato as the carb.

Favorite health tip

If you find that you’re self-sabotaging your health, don’t just think “this is me and it’s too bad.” Explore it with a health coach to see what’s behind the behavior so you can get to live your best life.

To answer these questions for an upcoming issue, please write to info@wellspringmagazine.com, subject title “Random.”

My favorite health food:

Family: 7 kids

Sum

2 mer 02

BESTER SELL

THE GOOD TASTE OF YOM TOV LASTS LONGER WITH