Wellspring Issue #72 by The Wellspring

JANUARY 2022 // SHEVAT 5782 // ISSUE 72

THE HEALTH MAGAZINE FOR THE JEWISH FAMILY Nutrition Reinvigoration

Flavors of Fruit Enhance your Tu B’Shevat meal with Berry Blast Chicken and other fabulous dishes

Tu B'Shevat is the time to start anew

Those UTIs Keep Recurring

Laura Shammah’s guidance on dietary intervention New Column! Culinary Toolbox by Charnie Kohn Kitchen gadgets that make nutritious cooking more efficient and fun

What’s on Your Playlist?

How the right music amps a fitness workout— and gets results Inner Parenting Why is spending individual time with my child such a challenge for me?

It's Flu Season | Natural interventions for breaking a fever DIY Watch the molluscum disappear

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Dozing in the Lab Which intervention will help the Samples fall asleep fastest?

Is That Back Pain All in Your Mind? Understanding Mind-Body Syndrome

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WELLSPRING / JANUARY 2022

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The Green Gold of Puglia

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Editor In Chief Shiffy Friedman Deputy Editor Libby Silberman Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Bashy Halberstam, INHC Shaindy Oberlander, INHC Shira Savit, MA, MHC, CHC Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC Esther Fried, PFC Child Development Advisory Board Friedy Singer, OTR/L Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L Coordinating Editor Liba Solomon, CNWC Feature Editors Rochel Gordon • Rikki Samson Proofreaders Faige Badian • Meira Lawrence

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The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.

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EDITOR'S NOTE

Turn Up the Volume

haya Tziry Retter’s engaging piece on choosing the right music for your workout brought a smile to my face. A few short years ago, when she still lived in Yerushalayim, I was a fortunate participant in her aerobics classes, which I recall as both invigorating and rigorous. A fitness instructor par excellence (who has since become a dear friend), Chaya Tziry has that knack of turning even the most arduous parts of the workout into a pleasure (Monsey readers, take note!). One of the highlights of her class, the focus of this issue’s fitness column, was her music—always kosher, always appropriate, and always the perfect beat and tempo to ease us through that particular segment. I didn’t realize then what I’ve discovered since reading the article—that each track was carefully selected to yield the right results, with a calculated system in mind. But I do remember the energy in the room as we ladies did our jumping jacks and high kicks to the beat of “Aish” (Yaakov Schwekey). That energy! (As we kept moving along at full speed, my mind was sprinting as well. Then in the process of co-authoring a book, with my thoughts in motion and inspired by the poignant lyrics, an idea for a title struck me. And so, a publication that now graces bookshelves in Judaica stores and homes the world over actually boasts a title that was conceived at that exercise class. Chaya Tziry’s piece brought memories of not only her workouts, but also of that moment when inspiration hit, and I found it interesting to observe how the idea evolved into a reality.)

f course, the power of music extends exponentially further than spurring on movement. (As a letter writer in this issue’s Springboard notes, it can do

wonders in sparking up the morning routine, especially on cold, dreary days. Tried and true!) In addition to its emotional benefits, much has already been said about music’s unique ability to penetrate the soul and impact our spiritual essence. The sounds and lyrics we listen to, especially on repeat, seep into our being—which is why Shira Savit’s piece in this issue’s Wellbeing is such an imperative read. Using the playlist analogy, Shira wisely conveys how the inner voices we choose to listen to impact our performance and wellbeing. Especially when we feel we’ve failed, she encourages turning up the volume of our “Self-Care Voice,” carefully selecting the kind of inner messages that will help us move forward and not keep us stuck in a self-critical cycle that breeds more failure and more harm. It’s all about the music.

s is conveyed in Perek Shirah, even trees and plants sing their unique shirah to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, praising Him for His wonders. Tu B’Shevat, when we gather around to enjoy the magnificent bounty Hashem showers us with, appreciating not only the beauty but also the life-giving, healing properties His fruits provide, is one great opportunity to express that gratitude. It’s our chance to sing our own song of praise for this particular blessing—and the many others that fill our lives. As we know, singing His praises and living in thanking mode helps facilitate more and more berachah in our lives. May all of us be blessed with many, many reasons to keep singing,

n a m d e i r F y Shiff

WELL- PUT Even if we feel like a frosted tree in the middle of winter, let us remember that we’re full of potential—and celebrate that.

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD WELLSPRING / SHEVAT 5782

CONTENTS

JANUARY 2022 SHEVAT 5782 ISSUE 72

Springboard

u O r next issue will appear on Wednesday, February 9th iy"H.

Spiritual Eating

Torah Wellspring

Health Updates

WELL INFORMED

LIVING WELL

FYI

Community

Fitness

Feature

Cup of Tea

The Functional Dietitian

Compass

DIY

LET SLEEP COME By Libby Silberman Welcome to the latest Wellspring trial, codenamed FallAsleepFast. Will our samples fall asleep within 120 seconds? Time will tell.

SEASONED 12

WELLSPRING / JANUARY 2022

WELLBEING 80

Emotional Eating

Parenting

FAREWELL 131 Random

82 THE BIG, BAD, SCARY APPLE By Shiffy Friedman A Tu B’Shevat spread featuring an array of breathtaking colors and textures arouses awe and pleasure for many. But for others, even nutrient-dense foods like fruits and vegetables can activate an irrational fear, often brought on by erroneous beliefs about their eating habits, appearance, and self-perception. How a “healthy” lifestyle may actually be unhealthy to your wellbeing.

ASK THE DIETITIAN By Laura Shammah, MS, RDN I’ve tried many medications and nutritional supplements, but to no avail. Recently, my friend suggested I abstain from wheat and sugar, as these are considered culprits for recurring UTIs. I’m wondering what your take is on such a diet.

105

FLAVORED WITH FRUIT By Yossi & Malky Levine How would you like to try a unique dinner dish in honor of Tu B’Shevat? Since Tu B’Shevat is all about the renewal of the trees and all things growing, we decided to experiment cooking with fruit in savory dishes.

WELLSPRING / SHEVAT 5782

SPRINGBOARD

On More Hacks, Sleep, Drinking Habits, and More

The Most Important Tip Omitted Issue #71: Wellbeing Feature

The article on wellbeing hacks included many ideas for emotional quick fixes, but it left out the really potent, long-lasting tips, like strengthening one’s bitachon, for example, by listening to a short daily dose of emunah, such as by Rabbi David Ashear. (Although learning Shaar HaBitachon is the most potent de-stressor, I understand that it doesn’t work for every woman.) And, of course destressing through tefillah! Take some time to pour your 14

WELLSPRING / JANUARY 2022

heart out to Hashem, even in your own words. It will do wonders. In times of stress, it’s a great opportunity to connect to Hashem in a very deep way. Thank you in advance, M. Gottdenger

On Sleep Deprivation I must express my hakaras hatov to you for this fantastic magazine. I

have been an eager reader of your publication for about two years. I am very impressed with the information you give over to the frum mothers of our community—medical advice, mental health, parenting, and validation. I would like to get the recommended amount of sleep. However, two of my children, ages six and three, are frequently disturbing my night sleep, mostly from coming into my bed at night. I’ve tried charts, locking the door (they just bang), and bringing them back to their beds, etc. I am asking for two pieces of advice: How do I get my kids to stay in their beds?

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Quick Question

SPRINGBOARD

Question: Thanks for an enjoyable and informative magazine. You’ve covered the benefits of Bach remedies several times, and I’d like to know where they are available with a reliable hechsher.

Answer: It’s great that you’re inquiring about Bach remedies; I believe you’ll be amazed at their healing powers. The brand of Bach remedies called Healing Flowers is produced in Eretz Yisrael, with the hechsher of the Badatz Eidah Hachareidis. I’m not aware of all the locations where they’re sold, but health food stores in the tristate certainly carry this brand. To your health, Miriam Schweid, health consultant and kinesiologist

How do I make up for the lack of straight undisturbed sleep? (As much as I try to nap whenever I have a free moment, I do manage to squeeze in time to read Wellspring!) Thank you, Sara L. Chaya Shifra Sadoff, Sleep and Motherhood Coach, responds: Kudos for the effort you’ve put into trying to resolve your struggles around your children’s and your own sleep. You ask excellent questions, and the answers are long and nuanced, but I’ll try to cover as much as I can in this space. First, I’d recommend trying to figure out what your children are gaining from waking up at night. Often, kids who disturb at night may be seeking attention (some concentrated mommy time) or control (perhaps they’re feeling unsettled or lacking in 16

WELLSPRING / JANUARY 2022

autonomy). Find out what your child is seeking and try to give it to them during the day. Next, formulate clear expectations and consider what actions you might be repeating that unintentionally convey something else (such as allowing one more story or drink). Get your kids involved and let them own the process of change by talking about a bedtime routine, drawing pictures, and discussing the pros; share stories of kids like them who managed to stay in their beds the whole night. Start with small goals, keeping expectations low, and do give small, appropriate, and immediate rewards and consequences — both the positive and negative. Avoid unintentionally rewarding a behavior you want to change, such as cuddling or schmoozing with a child who comes out of bed. Also, ensure healthy sleep hygiene: a dark, cool, quiet room; a consistent,

age-appropriate bedtime routine; and appropriate exercise, sunlight exposure, and healthful foods during the day. In the meantime, there are a few things you can do to help you make up for your own interrupted sleep. First, a little acceptance goes a long way. As uncomfortable as sleep deprivation is, allow yourself to know that you still feel tired and to be okay with the discomfort. Make the most of your sleeping hours: If you tend to mouth-breathe at night, learn how to breathe through your nose, which is superior to mouth breathing and will help you sleep better. Watch your caffeine intake and be sure to limit it in the afternoon hours; similarly, avoid blue light and screen use for one to two hours before bed for a more restful sleep. Try adding sleep time during the day, either by going to sleep earlier or catching a nap. Even a few minutes of low-stimulation time with your eyes closed can give you a boost to get you through the next few hours. Hatzlachah!

These Are My Hacks Issue #71: Cover Feature

What a fabulous job you did with the hacks last month! I loved the ones you featured in the main articles, as well as the ideas that were scattered in the other pages. In addition to the rich content, I appreciate the creative flair and fun feel that your pages exhibit. Here are some of my best hacks for healthy living, especially in regard to raising healthier kids. First, I often prepare a ketchup-mayo dip along with cut-up veggies (mainly pepper strips) for when the kids come home from school. I know ketchup has

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The Doctor Is In

SPRINGBOARD

Question: My neighbor was unfortunately recently diagnosed with the machalah of the large intestine. No one else in her family has this disease, and I’m worried because both she and I are 46 years old, and I always thought this disease only affected older individuals or those who had a family history. Is there anything I can do to find out if I am at risk?

Answer: You ask an excellent question. Cancer of the large intestine, also known as colon and rectal cancer, is the third most common type of cancer among both men and women in the United States. Its incidence is on the rise in younger people. Understanding your “modifiable” risk factors and your “non-modifiable” risk factors can help you gauge your risk.

Certain inherited syndromes, such as Lynch syndrome or familial adenomatous polyposis. (If there are multiple other members of your family who have cancers, this is a possibility.) A personal history of having already had a colon or rectal cancer in the past or having had certain types of colon polyps on a previous colonoscopy. A personal history of inflammatory bowel disease, such as ulcerative colitis or Crohn’s disease. Finally, Ashkenazi Jews have one of the highest colorectal cancer risks of any ethnic group in the world.

Modifiable risk factors Being overweight Not being physically active Smoking Moderate-to-heavy alcohol use (more than two drinks a day for men, more than one drink a day for women) A diet high in red and processed meats Non-modifiable risk factors Advancing age, especially over age 50 First-degree relatives with colorectal cancer

Talk to your doctor about screening. Colorectal cancer can often be found early on through screening, when the chance of cure is highest. The latest guidelines recommend starting screening for average-risk individuals at age 45. The gold standard is colonoscopy. Alternatives include flexible sigmoidoscopy with fecal occult blood testing, or stool DNA testing. Keep in mind, if anything is abnormal on one of the alternative screening options, a colonoscopy will need to be performed. Perel A. Baral, DO General Surgeon JOWMA, Preventative Health Committee

its downsides, but it’s incredible to watch how many more veggies the kids consume this way, and for me that’s a win. For getting the kids to fall asleep more easily, reading a short book together does wonders in our house. When read in a soothing, soft voice, My Mommy Loves Me, authored by your very own incredible editor, puts kids into the kind of calm mode that induces sleep, with a delicious, cozy feeling to boot. The text and images, especially toward the end, lend 18

WELLSPRING / JANUARY 2022

Public Service Announcement Beware of This Remedy

The flu remedy Oscillococcinum (manufactured by Boiron), which is being sold in local health food stores and pharmacies, is not only not kosher; it contains basar v’chalav and is made of duck liver. Please look out for kosher brands instead. A healthy winter to all, K. Langner

These statements have not been eval uated by the FDA. These products are not i ntended to di agnose, treat, prevent or cure any di sease.

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SPRINGBOARD

Question:

My toddler son is having trouble with the dietary switch to cow’s milk. Does this mean he’s lactose intolerant?

Answer: Your son is experiencing a very common issue. First, the transition to milk can be rough. Some kids can switch off mother’s milk or formula, right onto whole milk with no concerns. For many others, the transition comes with bloating, gas, and diarrhea or constipation. You can ease the stress by lengthening the transition process: mix three parts of their usual liquid nutrition with one part milk, then try half milk and half previous liquid nutrition, and finally, all milk. While lactose intolerance affects up to 85 percent of the world population, it’s much more common for young kids to have a milk protein allergy, which often resolves quickly. When you do choose cow’s milk, choose whole milk. If you choose a plant-based milk, my top recommendations are, in this order, pea milk (such as Ripple), calcium-fortified soy milk, or calcium-fortified almond milk. There are other plant-based milks that may also meet your needs. Health & happiness, Yaffi Lvova, RDN

Yaffi Lvova, RDN, is a dietitian and food enjoyment activist who encourages positive nutrition through writing, speaking, and Nap Time Nutrition, her video blog and podcast. Find out more at babybloomnutrition.com.

WELLSPRING / JANUARY 2022

Pediatric Nutrition

themselves toward this goal. To help kids wake up and enable a smoother morning routine (so vital for everyone’s wellbeing), I turn on music when they wake up. It’s amazing to watch how it puts everyone (including myself) into a moving mode. And last but not least, charts, charts, charts. Incentives (in moderation) really help the kids get places. And the more positive the atmosphere is in the home, the more physical and emotional health becomes possible, with the help of Hashem. Thanks again, Shaindy G. Monsey, New York

My Cup of Tea Issue #70: Cup of Tea

The Kislev issue was the first issue of Wellspring I ever purchased and I was quite impressed—impressed enough that I just had to let you know. What caught my eye, initiating the purchase, was the topic “How to Be a Lamp Lighter.” I was thrilled to find your magazine to be full of gems. I, for one, was not surprised by the findings of sleep deprivation as sleep is more necessary than food. What does surprise me is how little others, including many healthcare providers, seem to understand this, and was gratified that your audience is informed. However, I was most delighted to find a kindred spirit in Avigail Gimpel and her approach to ADHD. Avigail understands the importance of asking “why?”—my absolute favorite question! She also understands that there are many contributing factors that cause the observable issue, which is diagnostic gold. As a developmental audiologist who specializes in catching otitis media (middle ear fluid), I wish parents understood what should be so obvious— that something is causing the fluid, and that that something is immune/gut-brain related 90 percent of the time. The gut-brain connection is more widely researched—and therefore accepted—in relation to ASD, but it should be a consideration with any developmental or health issue. Sadly the “common

cold” is often dismissed for being common, as Avigail noted. Worse, middle ear fluid is often unidentified as parents rely on a child crying in pain as the red flag. So not only does the child have an ongoing health issue, but they are also suffering sensory deprivation on top of that.

become when they’re fed a diet of processed, artificial junk food laden with food coloring and the likes. It’s incredible to observe how children calm down instantly when they’re fed nutritious, wholesome foods and the junk is removed from their diet.

I can relate to Avigail’s frustration when people seek her advice and then reject it. This was what made me interested in the topic that initially caught my attention.

Many thanks for a great publication,

Binyamin Katz, trial participant, responds:

Bashy Berger Estherson

The main concern with drinking water is regarding large meals, but ideally one should set aside time between meals to drink water without any food. If you drink a couple of glasses of water when

Chanie Monoker, CCC-A Developmental Audiologist

Food May Be the Culprit Issue #70: Cup of Tea

I was very impressed to read about Avigail Gimpel’s great work regarding ADHD. I believe the article should be sent to all schools and yeshivos, enlightening educators and mechanchim who really want to do their best to help their students but are often highly uninformed, especially about the dangers of medication. However, there was one factor that exacerbates ADHD symptoms, which Avigail failed to mention in her interview, and I believe it’s vital for parents and educators to have more awareness about it. From my decades of experience in working with ADHD children in the resource room, I’ve realized how profoundly diet impacts behavior. In addition to taking note of how most children who are put on medication go downhill and how it literally ruins their lives in the long term, I’ve seen time and again how agitated and restless children

When to Drink Issue #71: Sample

I find that I drink much less water than I used to as I don’t have enough time to drink my day’s fill. Thank you, C. S.

Thanks for an exceptional magazine. While I don’t consider myself a health nut, I enjoy reading about wellness and wellbeing and your magazine provides a lot of food for thought. I especially enjoy the roundtable discussions facilitated by Shiffy Friedman as they gives a lot of perspective from different age groups and types on real-life topics. I actually saved the Yom Tov issue with the marriage tips so I can review them every so often… Regarding drinking water according to the Rambam’s guidelines, please advise if this refers to only full meals, or even snacks (like a fruit, yogurt, or cake).

WELLSPRING / SHEVAT 5782

SPRINGBOARD

Libby Silberman’s lab column is always a fun and fascinating read. I was especially intrigued last month regarding drinking at the right times. I’d love to follow it as it feels right and makes so much sense. I do have some questions. What is the verdict on coffee? I really like to have something with it (such as chocolate or cake) and I’m not ready to give it up. And what about tea or other beverages? Do they have to be drunk on their own at the correct intervals? Thanks and much hatzlachah,

Only Water or All Beverages?

L. S.

Issue #71: Sample

Binyamin Katz, trial participant, responds:

Thanks for your beautiful magazine! I enjoy reading it cover to cover.

As I understand from the Rambam’s teachings and Rabbi Ishayek’s book,

diluted wine, milk, yogurt, or soup are considered partial foods and can be consumed during a meal. Coffee, tea, or any other beverages are considered liquids and should be served 20 minutes before eating or only in small quantities during a meal. While a meal is generally understood to be more than just chocolate or cake, I believe the same problems arise when digesting any foods. Water dilutes the saliva and stomach acids and prevents efficient digestion. So the detrimental effect will be less significant— but detrimental nonetheless. And while it may sound difficult or even impossible to eat without drinking or to have a piece of cake without coffee, if you try it out for a few weeks, it will start to feel natural, and the urge will disappear.

Get in touch! Wellspring invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@wellspringmagazine.com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.

WELLSPRING / JANUARY 2022

Any health information, advice, or suggestions published here are the opinion of the letter writer and are not independently investigated, endorsed, or validated by Wellspring. Always seek the advice of a qualified health professional or medical practitioner regarding any medical advice, condition, or treatment.

you wake up, a couple in between meals, and then a couple more in the evening, you’ll most likely not be thirsty while you’re eating and this will satisfy your daily needs. Water can sometimes also satisfy those snack cravings so you might not even need to snack if you opt for water instead. Like most things, if you stick to a daily plan for a couple of weeks, it is habit-forming and becomes easy to maintain.

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SPIRITUAL EATING By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

Don’t Confuse the Means for the End

In Ohr Gedalyahu, Rav Gedalya Schorr zt”l offers a fundamental message regarding the month of Shevat, specifically, Tu B'Shevat: not to mistake the means for the ends. As we discussed previously, Hashem created human desires to bring us to engage in necessary actions.

For example, the desire for food leads us to eat, which is the essential avodah every person needs to perform in order to survive. As Rav Schorr explains the Rambam in Hilchos De’os: “If man eats [to nourish his body] in order to serve Hashem, then his eating is [itself considered] avodas Hashem.” However, if we mistake the means (desire to eat) for the ends (using food as nourishment for our bodies), we end up engaging in indulgence instead of directing our desire toward the purpose for which it was given. We misuse and abuse the precious gift Hashem bestowed upon us, showing ingratitude to our Creator as well as harming the body He granted us for use during our time in this world. This is one of the basic battles the yetzer hara places before us every day—and a primary lesson of Tu B'Shevat. We are to appreciate, enjoy, and marvel at the wonderful fruits Hashem provides every year. We should value the sweetness, texture, and incredible wisdom in even a simple date. But we should also see the fruits for their true purpose: a component in the fuel that energizes our bodies and to therefore be eaten in moderation and in control. If we get carried away with the taste itself, eating with abandon, we lose sight of the purpose, mistaking the means for the ends. This conflict exists in many aspects of our lives besides for food, and we must try to continually maintain the correct focus.

For example, suppose a Jew who doesn’t know much about halachah wants to show off his lavish new home. He buys a most expensive mezuzah to put on his front door in time for the extravagant party for his friends. With almost a hundred people fitting into his living room, he unveils the humongous mezuzah affixed to his front door. Eyes widen and mouths drop at the sight of such a piece of artwork—until one person takes a closer look and notices that there is no parchment inside. He asks the homeowner, “What happened? Wasn’t there a piece of klaf with some writing on inside it when you bought it?” “Sure there was,” the homeowner answers. “But I didn’t need those instructions anyway, so I discarded it.” Upon realizing what he’s done, his previous desire to show off his wealth is overpowered by his embarrassment. The founder of Yeshivas Aish HaTorah, Rav Noach Weinberg zt”l, whose yahrzeit is on 11 Shevat, emphasized this point, as seen in Ahavas Olam, the brachah before Krias Shema. We ask Hashem to instill in our hearts the ability to understand, learn, teach, guard, perform, and fulfill all the mitzvos. We ask that our eyes should see clearly and that our hearts should be attached to His commandments and be unified to love and fear Him. For what purpose? So that we should not feel inner shame for all eternity—by mistaking the means for the end.

Rabbi Eli Glaser is the founder and Director of Soveya. He is certified as a Nutrition/Wellness Consultant and Weight Management Specialist, with 25 years of coaching and counseling experience, and is maintaining a 130-pound weight loss for more than 16 years. Soveya has offices in Lakewood and Brooklyn, and works with clients via phone and Skype around the world. For more information or to make an appointment, contact Soveya at 732-578-8800, info@soveya.com, or www.soveya.com.

WELLSPRING / JANUARY 2022

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WELLSPRING / SHEVAT 5782

TORAH WELLSPRING By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

Branch Out Living with a giving mindset facilitates joy, connection, and fulfillment

Tu B’Shevat, when we celebrate the renewal of the trees, is the time to explore the connection between them and us, people. In Devarim (20:19), the Torah teaches, “For man is like a tree in the field.” While the comparison between a human being and a tree can be understood in many ways, let’s explore one connection that holds the key to joy and fulfillment. 26

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Hakadosh Baruch Hu created this world miretzono leheitiv, from His desire to facilitate good. As a merciful Creator, He fashioned the briah as a means through which to give. While the ultimate good that we will eventually receive is in the World to Come, He showers us with much tov in this world, as well. Since Hakadosh Baruch Hu, the embodiment of chessed, created us in His image, each of us possesses this worthy attribute. We are all driven by the koach of giving, of

being mashpiah for others, of being there for them. The part in us that constantly desires to give to others, known in the sefarim as the koach hanesinah, emanates directly from our chelek Eloka mima’al, perpetuating the giving that Hakadosh Baruch Hu engages in at all times. If we look at life from this perspective, we notice how Hashem orchestrates constant, countless opportunities for us to exercise giving. As social creatures, being surrounded by people, especially those more needy than us, enables us be on the giving end. In marriage and parenting, the opportunities abound, as well. Through the many relationships we maintain throughout life, we are offered considerable chances to keep giving. In childhood, of course, a child in a healthy environment is constantly on the receiving end, his physical and emotional needs provided to him by his loving parents. However, the underlying purpose for all that receiving is for the child to grasp how to eventually give to others, to grow up and emulate the ways of Hashem, the embodiment of giving. His Kind of Giving Since Hashem is the ultimate Provider, his concern is entirely focused on the receiving party. The more I give in this fashion, the more alike I am to Him. The less my goal is to receive something in return—be it recognition, control, love, etc.—the closer I come to my tachlis in this world, operating from the Divine place inside of me. In a world where narcissism has probably reached its climax, this

kind of giving is becoming more and more extinct. The masses are, for the most part, supremely self-centered, stepping on anyone who gets in their way of obtaining or acquiring their goal. People engage in self-aggrandizement and grooming their ego, operating under the faulty assumption that this is how they’ll aquire more happiness. But as ironic as it sounds, the more one engages in giving, the more happiness and meaning he enjoys. When I’m busy focusing only on myself, I end up feeling a frightening sense of aloneness, of loneliness, a disconnect from the rest of the world. Especially as Yidden, sharing a collective neshamah with the entire nation, we have an incredible need to feel connected to others. We want to feel companionship, love, camaraderie. The more we engage in giving with an increased focus on the receiver and a decreased focus on what we’ll receive in return, the more satisfying and beautiful our life becomes—in this world and the Next. One of the people with the longest lifespan in recorded history, who recently died, was asked how he merited such rare longevity. He answered, “Because I lived a life of loving and giving to others. This has been the essence of my life.” When we switch our mindset from “What can I get from others?” to “What can I give to others?” we immediately experience an improvement in how we feel. Giving with the other in mind instantly fills us with a sense of meaning and connection. It’s always a good idea to give, but the kind of giving that really facilitates these positive effects are when we’re fully focused on the receiving

party. Those whose needs weren’t fully provided—who weren’t on the receiving end of true giving early in life— may have a harder time with this type of giving, but it’s certainly an endeavor worth working on. As elementary as it sounds, so much depression, loneliness, and anxiety can be resolved when our focus shifts from receiving to giving. Where Giving Begins Becoming focused on giving to others—be it a kind word, a smile, or the help they need—does not imply that we deprive ourselves of our own needs. On the contrary, citing the words of Mishlei, Rav Eliyahu Dessler zt”l teaches that “gomeil nafshi ish chessed,” one who gives to himself is the quintessential man of chessed. While this may seem counter to our preconceived understanding of giving, it is actually the only way to become a true giver. We practice becoming more giving by learning to give to ourselves. What does that mean? There’s a significant disparity between giving to ourselves and taking from others. To be self-centered, to see only ourselves, to draw from others constantly—that’s not gomeil nafsho ish chessed. Giving to myself is being kind to myself—seeing myself in a positive regard, tending to my needs, in order to feel full so I can give to others. There’s an age-old dispute between mainstream thought, specifically the psychology-based perspective, and Torah hashkafah questioning the concept of real giving. Can giving be entirely altruistic or is there always an underlying motive? Their argument is that a motive is

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TORAH WELLSPRING

If we look at life from this perspective, we always present, even when it’s not apparent. Even in an extreme example where an individual risks his life to jump into ongoing traffic in order to save the life of a child, they posit that beneath this benevolent deed lies the adult’s understanding that he won’t be able to live with himself knowing that he didn’t do his all to save the child. Even in such a scenario of sacrifice, they point toward the ulterior motive that centers on the self, not the other. This is in extreme contrast to our hashkafah, which posits that an individual does have the potential, through self-development, to reach a place of true giving.

notice how Hashem orchestrates constant, countless opportunities for us to exercise giving.

While this appears to be a disparity of opinion between us and them, there is essentially no argument here. A creature that’s composed strictly of chomer, Earthly substances, only wishes to receive. With a focus on the self, he has no capacity to truly give. This is our ego, whose nature is to constantly want to get. Even when the ego gives, it’s because he wants to receive something in return. But we Yidden are more than our ego. Our most powerful component is our chelek Eloka mima’al, whose entire essence is of giving—the direct opposite of the ego. This is the element in us that is a part of Hashem, who’s the Tachlis hashleimus, perfectly whole, and therefore there’s nothing He needs from anyone; He only wants to give. This is the element that the mainstream world simply cannot grasp. Thus, this argument is not an argument at all. Perhaps it’s true that our animalistic self always wants something in return, but when we operate from our chelek Eloka mima’al, we tap into the kochos that are exclusive to our 28

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Maker. We can start exercising this “giving muscle” by engaging in small deeds of kindness without expecting anything in return, such as doing it without anyone else’s knowledge, thereby climbing the ranks toward true giving. To give without expecting anything in return doesn’t mean that we can’t enjoy the act of giving. It doesn’t mean we can’t engage in

kindnesses that are pleasurable for us. On the contrary, when we give right this becomes one of our greatest pleasures in life, and we find ourselves attracted to giving because the joy is so great. True pleasure in giving comes not from me seeing an opportunity to give as an opportunity to receive a good feeling; it emanates from me seeing someone whose day/life I

can now improve/brighten and from the act of giving I derive such pleasure. I’m deriving pleasure because I’m fulfilling my tachlis of becoming more and more like the One who created me, becoming more and more connected to the place in me that’s eternal.

In the passage where the Torah references our connection to the trees, the Yidden were issued a warning not to cut off fruit-giving trees “because man is like a tree in the field.” Just like a tree who stands in the field and keeps giving fruit, we are giving beings. More fruits and more

fruits “lehanos bahem bnei adam,” providing more and more joy for others. When we distance ourselves from the narcissistic mindset of the times, focusing intently on “How can I become more of a giver?” we will start reaping the beautiful fruits that true giving provides.

Rabbi Ezra Friedman welcomes questions and comments on this column. Please write to rabbiefriedman@wellspringmagazine.com.

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UPDATES By Esther Retek

A Lifetime of Education The benefits of schooling extend into old age While it’s always a good time to receive a boost of motivation regarding school and continued education and the toil it may entail, there’s no better time than now—at the crux of the long winter stretch. So here goes: Initial findings of a study published in NeuroImage:Clinical reveal powerful, long-term benefits of education. Although most people are eager to pursue a good education so they can embark on a successful career and learn life skills, the effects of good education and extend all the way into old age. According to the team of researchers of the University Research Priority Program “Dynamics of Healthy Aging” led by Lutz Jäncke, certain degenerative processes are greatly reduced in the brains of educated individuals. Their brains are better able to compensate age-related cognitive and neural limitations. To come to this conclusion, the researchers followed more than 200 senior citizens for over seven years. Study participants were examined using magnetic resonance 30

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imaging at regular intervals. Based on complex statistical analyses, the researchers were able to show that academic education had a positive effect on age-related brain degeneration. The study revealed that over the course of seven years, older people with an academic background showed a significantly lower increase in typical signs of brain degeneration. “In addition, academics also processed information faster and more accurately— for example, when matching letters, numbers of patterns. The decline in their mental processing performance was lower overall,” summarizes study author, Isabel Hotz. With the connection so clearly established, it becomes incumbent upon us to continue our learning journey so that we can age in good health, with the help of Hashem, and maintain keen cognitive skills. By engaging in and facilitating Torah learning throughout our lifetimes, we can do our part to prevent not only spiritual stagnation, but mental decline as well.

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UPDATES

Not Recommended For Asthma Patients Surprising research on the side effects of melatonin Of the many over-the-counter supplements, melatonin is of the most common ones, appearing in nearly every medicine cabinet. The reason? Most people assume it’s a relatively safe and natural intervention that acts as a great sleeping aid. And in many ways, the assumption is correct. Many studies prove that it does indeed cause little to no side effects. However, a new study published in Lung Cellular and Molecular Physiology indicates that it can have some negative effects on individuals with breathing issues, specifically asthma. For some asthma patients, symptoms such as shortness of breath, cough, and, chest tightness or wheezing often get worse at night. In fact, many breathing related issues are exacerbated at night. Dr. Kentaro Mizuta, a professor at Tohoku University 32

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Graduate School of Dentistry in Japan discovered that although melatonin can improve sleep quality for asthma patients, it can exacerbate the constriction of the bronchus, the pathway that moves air to and from your lungs making it significantly harder to breathe. People with asthma are familiar with this constriction and often use a bronchodilator, a medicine to widen the bronchus. Lab testing also revealed that melatonin weakens the relaxing effect of a bronchodilator. The study is important in many ways. It’s eye-opening to people who suffer from breathing difficulty, but goes even further than that. Dr. Payel Gupta, a spokesperson for the American Lung Association, who was not involved in this study says, “This research is important for patients as the use of over-the-counter supplements is rampant. It is important for consumers to know that some ‘natural’ remedies for sleep like melatonin can in fact pose a threat.”

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Tip

17 in a series

Well Spent

Cut Your Cleaning Costs If you prefer using natural beauty products and toiletries, you’re most likely aware of the exorbitant price tags these products boast. Since they are significantly more expensive than the products containing chemicals, here are resourceful tips to help you save on these products.

1. Use Less Although this may seem like a no-brainer, we tend to use way more shampoo, body soap, cosmetics, laundry detergent, etc. than necessary. A while back, a skilled cosmetician showed me the necessary amount of foundation and moisturizer per use —a fraction of what most women apply. Contrary to popular belief, more detergent does not yield cleaner clothes; nor does more shampoo yield softer hair. 34

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2. Use Natural Alternatives Many “specialized” products such as dandruff free shampoo, fabric softener or spot cleaners can easily be replaced by natural solutions. For example, a half a cup of distilled white vinegar does an excellent job at replacing fabric softener. Hundreds of recipes and solutions are available to replace these products, so you may want to find out more before making that overpriced purchase.

3. DIY Cleaners Besides being loaded with chemicals, cleaning products are not very versatile. Therefore, different products are needed for different materials or surfaces. Making your own cleaner is healthy for the environment, very versatile, and cuts the costs of cleaning products significantly. Try this mixture both as a spray or bucket detergent and watch the magical results on almost everything. • 2 cups warm water • 1/2 cup distilled white vinegar • 1/4 cup isopropyl (70%) rubbing alcohol • 1/8 tsp liquid dish soap • Several drops essential oil (optional, for enhanced aroma)

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ALTERNATIVE VIEW

BY FAIGY SCHONFELD

MIND-BODY SYNDROME DO YOU HAVE ITCHY OR TROUBLESOME SKIN? HEARTBURN? DIGESTIVE ISSUES? MAYBE YOU HAVE BACK PAIN. OR YOU MAY BE PRONE TO HEADACHES. ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, OR OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS? ALL OF THESE CONDITIONS, PLUS MANY, MANY MORE, ARE OFTEN JUST VARIOUS MANIFESTATIONS OF ONE SNEAKY, EVER-CHANGING, NASTY-BUTINNOCENT UMBRELLA CONDITION CALLED MIND-BODY SYNDROME.

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WHAT IS MINDBODY SYNDROME? Physical and emotional pain are usually caused by one of two things: tissue damage or learned neural pathways. We all develop learned neural pathways early in life—think walking, riding a bike, writing, and thousands of actions we do automatically. When we engage in an activity again and again, the process becomes automatic. Neural pathway pain—whether it’s physical like back pain or headaches, or emotional like anxiety—develops similarly. We are first exposed to “priming” events early in life; they can be major like abuse, hunger, or death or sickness in the family r“l, or far milder but still negative experiences, which are more common. The brain responds by activating the fear and danger response. Then, life stressors, often occurring many years later, trigger the neural responses created by the initial priming events. Our brain is designed to protect us. The subconscious part of our brain is constantly scanning the environment for danger, so if we encounter a physical threat (a bear, or a close call while driving), it will immediately activate the fight-or-flight response. Here’s where it gets thorny: According to the latest research, the brain responds to emotional dangers in exactly the same way it does to physical dangers. In other words, dealing with a critical spouse, a child in trouble, a difficult boss, or any stressful situation can cause the brain to activate the danger response. (The fight-or-flight response results in anxiety or pain, the freeze-and-submit response results in depression and fatigue.) The more often our brains respond to stress in this manner, the stronger the neural pathways become, turning the response into an automatic process. But here’s the good news: just as neural pathway pain can be learned, it can be unlearned, with the help of Hashem. And yes, this holds true even if the brain has been speeding along these particular pathways for ten, twenty, or sixty years.

PIONEERS The Sarno method is popular nowadays, and for good reason. Dr. John Sarno, a physician at New York University Medical Center, came up with the idea that most chronic physical pain may be caused by emotional phenomena. He successfully treated thousands of patients with back pain by communicating to them that their pain was caused by repressed emotions—most importantly, anger—and the way to heal is through the mind. Dr. Sarno called the condition tension myositis syndrome (TMS), but many other physical conditions may stem from the same root. Chronic pain syndromes, including headaches, back, neck, and shoulder pain, and fibromyalgia may often be psychogenic pain, as well as POTS, irritable bowel syndrome, tinnitus, insomnia, chronic fatigue syndrome, dizziness, OCD, PTSD, anxiety, and depression, among many more.

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ALTERNATIVE VIEW

COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS When you say your pain is psychogenic, that does not mean the pain is in your head. The physical pain, or the emotional distress, is very real and often very intense. However, it is generated by the brain, not by tissue damage or inflammation (in the case of physical pain), or chemical imbalances in the brain (in the case of emotional pain). Another important distinction is that not all pain is caused by MBS. By nature, conditions that fall under the MBS umbrella are not pathological. They can be very powerful, frightening, crippling, and otherwise devastating, but if there’s one positive thing to say about those symptoms it’s that they are usually not harmful or dangerous. While purely physically rooted conditions do exist, psychogenic pain is way more prevalent than actual tissue-injury pain. Another common misconception is that in order for Mind-Body syndrome to develop, you have to have either experienced a major childhood trauma or otherwise be undergoing some super-stressor. But the truth is not necessarily so. Although childhood trauma and major life stresses are common causes for MBS, these neural pathways can develop even from less major stresses. Considering that most MBS-causing emotions are experienced and stored in the subconscious, you may very well be unaware that these particular emotions are still active inside you, and may be the reason behind your pain—especially if you’re the quintessential “coper,” or a do-gooder. You may think that you’re all good with certain stressful events (past or present), and you’ve waved those difficult emotions away—but if you’ve never properly acknowledged or processed them, this often invites MBS.

THE DIAGNOSIS Before Mind-Body syndrome can be treated, you need to have thoroughly established that there is nothing else wrong with you and that every one of your (intense, persistent, unpleasant) symptoms are all just MBS. Here are some questions you can ask yourself: *Do you have multiple symptoms? (MBS symptoms tend to move around the body, especially when you attempt to get rid of them. I will not disclose here just how varied and creative my own brain has been in this regard.) *Do you have a history of anxiety? *Are the symptoms inconsistent? *What other diagnoses have you been given? *Have you tried different medications/doctors/diets/etc., without achieving lasting results? Doubting if your condition is really MBS or not is a part of this journey. Zigzagging between belief and despair is normal. Doctors trained in this approach can help you make the diagnosis, and reading up on the condition and other people’s experiences will help clarify if you have MBS, and give you validation. (It may be a good idea to write a list of all the “evidence” you have that your symptoms are MBS to help you with recovery.)

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THE TREATMENT Once you’ve established that your chronic pain/anxiety/depression/skin condition is really MBS, then here’s a first bit of knowledge to live by: with the help of Hashem, MBS is totally curable. Some people see almost instant results. For some it takes weeks, and for others it can take up to a year or even more. MBS symptoms can be very clingy and sneaky, and treating them can often take hard work. But the process is fairly straightforward.

JUST AS NEURAL PATHWAY PAIN CAN BE LEARNED, IT CAN BE UNLEARNED.

BASIC STARTER TIPS There’s much to be said and studied on the topic, and the many important books on the subject can guide you along to recovery. You may choose to work with a coach trained in the Sarno method. Here are some tips to start with: Step 1: Understand that MBS is the cause of your symptoms. Step 2: Reverse your brain’s reactions to stress. By releasing suppressed anger, shame, guilt, grief, and other intolerable emotions, normal stresses of everyday life become more manageable. Step 3: Take control of your symptoms. This includes changing your response to your symptoms by standing up forcefully and telling them to stop, or by training yourself to relax and ignore them. Also, it’s important to challenge the specific things that trigger your symptoms, whether certain places, sounds, smells, foods, situations, or memories. It’s critical to learn to encounter your triggers without reacting to them with pain, anxiety, depression, or fear. Step 4: Make the changes in your life that are possible. Removing yourself completely from stressful situations is impractical, but do your best to avoid stress whenever possible. Plus, learn new ways of dealing with stress in a healthy manner, such as journaling, meditation, and most of all, learning and practicing bitachon. In a nutshell, what you need to do is teach your brain that your pain/anxiety/depression/condition is not dangerous. And teach your brain that the emotions it subconsciously fears, like anger, sadness, and vulnerability, are not dangerous.

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ALTERNATIVE VIEW

NOW, FOR THE TOUGHEST PART (AND THE MOST IMPORTANT) While it’s critical to learn to acknowledge and/ or release suppressed emotions, for most people, the fuel for their ongoing, flaring-up symptoms is fear. Think of it this way. When a young child falls, you may notice him looking at you for a second to see how you’ll react. If you run over frantically, the child will think he’s taken a bad fall and will start screaming. If instead, you calmly say, “Oops, looks like you’ve had a little stumble,” he’ll be up and running a moment later. In the same vein, the way you react to your symptoms determines whether the danger signal stays on or switches off. MBS ends up being not so much a pain problem as a fear problem. The fear is the fuel for the pain. Thus, the most important treatment is to get rid of the fear. How do you do that? There are lots of tips and tricks, but if you’re stuck in the fear-pain-fear cycle, remember not to be intimidated. Do not despair and do not give up. Remind yourself that you have Mind-Body syndrome, it’s temporary, and that you’re healthy and strong and getting better. Keep your mindset on track and carry on.

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SOMATIC TRACKING A good way to deal with fear and anxiety around your symptoms is somatic tracking. Somatic tracking means checking into the physical sensation of anxiety in your body. Notice the sensation and ask yourself, “Is it intensifying? Expanding or contracting? Moving to another place? Staying the same?” Just by mindfully paying attention to the sensation, watching it, and following it—with pure curiosity—attending to your physical sensations without fear, without judgment, and without resistance, you’re communicating a message of safety to your brain. You’re teaching yourself to stop running from anxiety. Instead of trying to escape the feeling of anxiety, you’re leaning into the fear. Another great tip is to learn to notice thoughts and feelings without reacting to them. Our minds are overactive machines, churning out fear thought after fear thought. It’s good to tell yourself that you can observe these thoughts, watch them, and then let them go without engaging with the fear. For many people, getting out of this fear cycle can be very difficult. The best way to deal with this is to try and relax into the struggle. Realize that the pain and hardship is not dangerous; to the contrary, it is from Hashem and is perfect for us and for our neshamah. And knowing we’re in His Hands, we can be calm and confident that we will get better. Most of all, we can feel safe and allow the fear to leave us.

WELLSPRING / SHEVAT 5782

WELLSPRING COMMUNITY

Operation Break the Fever

In this space, we feature a health-related question or predicament submitted by a Wellspring reader. Fellow readers are invited to participate in the conversation by sharing their tried-and-true advice and suggestions. Join the community!

It’s flu season, and a harsh one this year. Like in many other homes the world over, I’ve been dealing with feverish, miserable kids with runny noses and horrible coughs (and no time or space left to deal with my own under-the-weather feels). We’ve been through our fair share of Tylenol this winter, and I was wondering if your readers have any natural methods to help break a low-grade fever. Nothing works for breaking a fever in my kids like a warm bath does. I place the child into a lukewarm bath and let them sit there until the water turns cold. This method is great because most children are comfortable there—unlike other methods to break a fever. Throw in some toys and have them relax there too. I sometimes put in a cup of apple cider vinegar since vinegar lowers the body temperature too. - Yitta F., Brooklyn 42

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Cucumber juice really does the trick. This “remedy” dates back to the 17th century, when physicians prescribed using cucumbers to patients with fever. They observed its ability to retain moisture, which helps the body keep cool. If you don’t own a juicer, simply blend cucumbers and strain the pieces. Try it and you won’t be surprised to learn why some people refer to cucumber juice as the “fever miracle.” - Shifra P.

The powerful homeopathic remedy belladonna can also break a fever. Spray 2 drops under the tongue every half hour. - Miriam Schweid, Health Kinesiologist

The expression “feed a cold; starve a fever,” has long been proven to be wrong. While it’s unnecessary and unwise to consume processed or heavy foods when the body is fighting viruses and bacteria, it is important to consume immune-building foods like hearty broths or cut-up vegetables. And make sure to hydrate well so the body can be completely focused on healing itself. I’ve found that when the kids (or myself) eat too little while sick, they suffer from more intense dizziness and weakness. - Yael Diamant

My grandmother always warned us (and I confirmed it with my child’s pediatrician) not to overheat the child or ourselves when we’re running a fever. The biggest mistake we make when a child is running temperature is that we overdress him, cover him in extra layers, and raise the temperature in the room. The body is already overheated and by raising the external temperature we are making it worse. We also don’t want the shivers since that triggers a warning in the brain to raise the body temperature. (Cold temperatures can also place the body under shock, which can be dangerous.) We want to keep the external temperature light and cool. Dress your child in light layers, cover him with one blanket, and keep the room temperature leveled. Also, try placing lukewarm compresses on the areas that attract the most heat such as the forehead, feet, or armpits. To cool the armpits, wet cotton balls in warm water and place under the arms for a few minutes. And the age-old advice to place a wet rag on the forehead also works well. - Y.M.

My go-to method to lower fever is the compress. I’ve shared this method with many people and anyone who followed the instructions perfectly saw immediate results. The method is known as the Nature Cure Method from the Kingston Clinic in Edinburgh. Use two long strips of cloth, one of wool and one of cotton, wide enough to cover all purifying organs. Make sure to use cloths that are made entirely of natural fibers. Soak the cotton strip in room temperature water and wring out. Lay the child or yourself on the wet strip and wrap around with the dry one. Use safety pins to keep them both wrapped. The wet cloth needs to warm up pretty fast. If it doesn’t, remove it and see if you missed any instructions. Keep the compress on for about a half an hour. Then, remove the clothes and wash them both very well before using again. As a note of warning, the first few minutes might be uncomfortable for you or your child, because of the wetness and the body’s strong reaction to the compress. But this is precisely why it works. - Mindy Peltz, 3DT Practitioner, Jerusalem

I was always skeptical of this method until I was desperate to try anything, and this worked! Many people are aware of the benefits onions provide for the common cold and cough: put a cut-up raw onion in a wrap ’n boil bag and place it near the bed of your coughing child for a restful night. But you can also try onions to bring a fever down by rubbing a few pieces of onion on the soles of the feet twice a day. I recently heard that rubbing garlic on the soles work well too, but I personally never tried it. Remember to use a plastic knife when cutting both the onion and garlic for optimal benefit. - Esther L. Ganz, Monsey

I’m not an expert on essential oils, but I’ve been using peppermint oil to successfully reduce temperature (for adults only). Mix lavender and peppermint oil and dilute with a carrier oil such as olive oil. Rub gently on the feet, back, and/or neck. - B. Berger, Lakewood

Next Up: I've been struggling with halitosis (bad breath) for quite some time now. Any triedand-true solutions to this unpleasant issue (besides for maintaining excellent oral hygiene, which I'm already doing) will be appreciated.

Please note: These suggestions should not be implemented in place of guidance from a medical practitioner.

Dilute 20 drops of lavender oil in 8 ounces water. Then, soak the child’s socks in the solution, wring them, and have them wear them. Alternatively, use as a body rub. Thieves oil is another powerful solution that can be used to massage the soles of the feet to bring down fever. Placing crushed garlic inside the socks, which makes the body sweat, may also help bring down a fever.

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FITNESS

Move To the Beat! Why Your Playlist Should Be Your Priority

Chaya Tziry Retter, BS, CPT Chaya Tziry Retter is a Monsey-based nutritionist, fitness instructor, and ACE-certified personal trainer. She has a bachelor of science in human nutrition management and is currently pursuing her registered dietitian credential. She is passionate about helping others lead healthier lives in a way that suits their needs. She can be reached at 845-540-4487.

WELLSPRING / JANUARY 2022

While music may seem like just a set of notes playing in the background, the right tunes and tempo can actually play an imperative role in an effective workout. Since music truly affects the way the routine is performed, I’d say it’s almost as important as the workout itself! Have you ever tried to run on the treadmill, lift weights, or dance up a storm in silence? I can bet it was lackluster. Not only does motivation decrease without an exciting beat, but the heart and the body’s endurance level do not reach their peak without a rhythmic motivator. Have you attempted to relax and stretch to a wedding-dance playlist? That must have been tough. Slow music is more effective for lowering blood pressure and decreasing heart rate, in addition to a quicker recovery for a post-workout cooldown. Studies have shown that people are more likely to push through more repetitions per minute of whatever exercise they’re doing to be in sync with the rhythm. For example, a study of 26 runners discovered that music with a tempo of 160 to 180 bpm (beats per minute) was ideal to boost cadence for speed. And in any workout, exercising to music essentially forces you to move your body to the beat of a song. This can affect your coordination and motor skills. Of course, most of us are not able to assess the beats per minute of a song offhand, but we can get a feel for the pace of the beat and decide whether the exercise we intend to do is a good match for the song and vice versa. Here’s another perk. When you’re a bit burned-out from your workout—you’re bored, tired, unfocused, or worn out—music can offer a welcome distraction. Research has proven that your favorite songs are associated with positive memories. When you play those songs, you can use the positive emotions that surface to channel

your energy. Listening to music may also help you begin a workout, and decrease how hard you think you’re working. This may motivate you to exercise longer than planned. Of course, you should not use music to distract yourself from sharp, painful, or aching sensations in your body. Music affects your workout performance in various ways. Here are some benefits music can provide: Reduces your perception of fatigue

“Seder Ha’avodah” (Ishay Ribo) “Oid Yeshvu” (Benny Friedman) “Odcha” (The Chevra) Pilates: In a Pilates class, the goal is to maintain our endurance and motivation while holding challenging positions and low-impact but strength-zapping movements, usually at an 8-count. I look for high-energy but not “loud” songs that have a consistent, concentrated beat.

Influences your heart rate, speeding it up or slowing it down

“Harbei Nachat” (Simcha Leiner)

Distracts you from the strain of exercise

“Da Ma” (Yoni Z)

Helps you enjoy exercise more Helps you sprint faster Improves your mood during a workout Makes exercise seem easier My Tunes Here are some of my current playlist winners for various forms of exercise. Warm-up: During the warm-up, we do stretches and start to get the heart rate up, slowly picking up the pace of the movements. To help achieve the right mode, I opt for an energizing song with a strong beat that builds up at a moderate pace. “Elika D’Meir” (8th Day) “Ein Od Milvado” (Mordechai Shapiro) “I Am Alive” (Yaakov Shwekey) Yoga: In yoga sessions, we work on performing deep, long-held stretches and poses. I look for calming, soothing tempos and vocals, alternating from soft but uplifting to soft and calming songs.

“Modeh Ani” (Moshe Tischler)

Cardio: When we’re dancing—or up in the air for as long as possible— with powerful motions and high-energy jumps, kicks, and punches, we need music that’s really motivating with a quick beat and dynamic, energizing intervals. “Muchanim” (Uri Davidi) “Mi Zeh” (The Chevra) “Aish” (Yaakov Shwekey) Cooldown: As we finally reach the cooldown part of the session, calming our limbs and lowering our heart rate, it’s helpful to listen to soothing, calming music with inspiring lyrics— at that point there’s just silence in the room and everyone is listening! “This One” (Bracha Jaffe) “Open My Eyes” (Joey Newcomb) “Ten Li” (Benny Friedman) It’s important to keep refreshing your music choices, switching up the tempo and beat to bring some life and excitement to your workout and prevent burnout. By next month, my playlists will likely be completely different! Happy moving and music-ing!

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ASK THE NUTRITIONIST By Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

UTI The Infamous

Which changes in my diet can prevent or ease symptoms? As an avid reader of your column, I am hoping you can offer some advice on an issue I’ve been struggling with for what seems like forever—urinary tract infections (UTIs). I’ve tried many medications and nutritional supplements, but to no avail. Recently, my friend suggested I abstain from wheat and sugar, as these are considered culprits for recurring UTIs. I’m wondering what your take is on such a diet and if you’ve seen successful results specifically with UTIs. Alternatively, are there any other lifestyle changes or interventions you’d recommend?

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ASK THE NUTRITIONIST

UTIs are commonly associated with poor eating habits. However, it’s important to note that research has not yet established this correlation with solid evidence. Other factors are also involved in causing urinary tract infections, but this is not to downplay the importance of diet in preventing and treating these infections. It’s also crucial to mention that UTIs can quickly turn into a kidney infection or other serious issues. Please do not take these infections lightly, and make sure to be in contact with a medical practitioner even while attempting other interventions. Triggers As you mentioned in your question, sugar is notorious for triggering and prolonging a UTI infection. The American Urological Association suggests that it is beneficial to cut back on added sugars and refined carbohydrates to maintain a healthy bladder. The reason? UTI-causing bacteria are nourished and grow quickly when a high level of sugar is present in the urine. As per the National Kidney Foundation, bacteria need “food” to survive, and sugar is the ultimate “bacteria food.” Therefore, if you consume high amounts of refined carbohydrates, you’re allowing the bacteria to flourish in your body. The risk is even greater for people who are prone to elevated blood sugar levels, such as diabetics. Refraining from sugar is probably not the ultimate answer to preventing and treating UTIs, as these infections are a lot more complicated, but cutting down on added sugars is one excellent step you can take in the right direction. Not surprisingly, many have seen amazing results when abstaining or even cutting back on their sugar intake. Another commonly reported trigger is spicy food. Some research shows that spicy foods, such as hot peppers, can be irritating to the bladder, so it’s a good practice to avoid spicy foods when trying to recover from a UTI. Several studies also indicate that alcohol may intensify and prolong symptoms. Additionally, drinking alcohol 48

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while taking antibiotic medication can increase harmful side effects or reactions, so it’s a good idea to avoid alcohol completely when experiencing a UTI, especially if you’re taking an antibiotic. Dairy remains a controversial topic. While dairy products are unlikely to directly cause a UTI, for people who are lactose intolerant, dairy can cause more diarrhea and GI issues, which in turn increases the chance of GI flora entering the urinary tract and causing an infection, leading to a higher risk of developing a UTI. Beneficial Foods Besides the “do not eat” list, you may have received a potpourri of food ideas to incorporate in your diet from well-meaning acquaintances—but keep in mind that not all are valid. I’ll mention a few that have been helpful to some of my clients, but I’ll reiterate that these are not all supported by much evidence. However, most of these suggestions provide other excellent health benefits, so you’ve got nothing to lose! Probiotics rank high on the list. They provide the body with healthy bacteria that can counterattack unwanted bacteria. It’s especially important to consume probiotics through food or supplements if you are on antibiotics to treat the infection. Here are some foods that are rich in probiotics: 1. Yogurt: Look out for the ones that contain live and active cultures 2. Kefir: A fermented probiotic milk drink 3. Sauerkraut: Finely shredded cabbage, fermented by lactic acid bacteria 4. Kombucha: Fermented green or black tea drink 5. Pickles: Pickled cucumbers, soaked in a water and salt solution 6. Some types of cheeses such as Gouda, mozzarella, cheddar, and cottage cheese Probiotics offer an array of health benefits, so while they may not treat the UTI, you can enjoy other advantages, such as: 1. Lactobacillus benefits 2. Gut health 3. Acne/eczema prevention

4. Preventing diarrhea/GI support 5. Lowering inflammation 6. Improved brain health 7. Bifidobacterium benefits 8. Building immunity 9. Improved brain function 10. Preventing constipation/GI support 11. Streptococcus benefits 12. Skin support While the body is experiencing a UTI, the urine has a slightly higher pH than normal. In other words, it becomes more alkaline. Some studies have shown a correlation between higher intake of vitamin C and lower risk of UTIs. When in prevention mode, trying to eat ample amounts of vitamin C-rich foods, such as red and orange bell peppers, citrus fruits, kiwifruit, tomatoes, broccoli, and strawberries may help keep urine pH more balanced, preventing a bladder atmosphere where bacteria can multiply quicker. There is a common belief in the use of cranberries to treat or prevent UTIs. This is based on early studies that have found a correlation between cranberry extract/juice capsules and a lowered prevalence of UTIs in women. Cranberries contain a compound called A-type proanthocyanidin (PAC) that won’t cure a UTI but can make it harder for bacteria to thrive in the bladder, rendering them a good preventative measure. Others argue that the cranberry theory has been encouraged and funded by the cranberry industry and there’s no scientific evidence to prove its potency. I will conclude with a reminder of the importance of monitoring and treating a UTI. Besides for being highly uncomfortable, the infection can be dangerous and, if left untreated, can cause various complications. Wishing you lots of success with treating and preventing further infections.

Drink, Drink, and Drink Some More Drinking plays a key role in both preventing and treating UTIs. According to a 2018 study, published in JAMA Internal Medicine, women who added 1.5 liters of water daily to their regular intake of fluids were less likely to get another UTI than women who drank less than that amount. With regard to treating the infection, Mayo Clinic states that nearly 50 percent of UTIs can be treated by drinking a significant amount of water. “The extra you’re drinking is flushing out the bacteria that are present in the urinary tract,” says Felecia Fick from Mayo Clinic. Several other studies indicate the importance of drinking water during a UTI and as a prevention measure. Even if you’re trying other treatments, adequate hydration will flush away the bacteria much sooner.

Laura Shammah MS, RDN, has been operating a private practice in New York and New Jersey for over 20 years. Her clientele runs the gamut from people with eating disorders to those dealing with hypertension, high cholesterol, diabetes and cancer. She also helps clients who run in marathons or are looking to lose or gain weight in a healthy way. Her nutritional guidance is published in MaryAnne Cohen’s book Lasagna for Lunch: Declaring Peace With Emotional Eating. Laura can be reached at 718-376-0062 or Laurashammah@aol.com.

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FEATURE

Frost before the Fruit This is the time for reinvigoration by Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD At first glance, it seems out of place, even jarring, to celebrate Tu B’Shevat—which is centered on the trees—in the wintertime. In cold climates across the globe, this is the season when snow and frost cover barren trees; there are no beautifully blossomed plants full of fruit and life gracing the streets. But we do celebrate now because around this time, the sap of the tree begins to flow—which means we’re celebrating the potential within the trees. Throughout life, we each experience our own tests, whether physical or spiritual, personal or communal, hidden or obvious, or all of the above. At this time of year, we may feel very worn out. We may be experiencing burnout, or we may feel we’ve failed personal tests that should have been opportunities for growth. We may be feeling very much like those barren trees, full of frost. What a beautiful opportunity and timing for us to celebrate Tu B’Shevat, keeping in mind the message of celebrating our potential. Even if we feel like a frosted tree in the middle of winter, it is important for us to remember that we’re full of potential—and to celebrate that. Let’s take this opportunity to reinvigorate ourselves, both spiritually and physically. We each have our own goals, our own challenges to overcome, our own foliage to actualize and bring to life. With optimism and positivity—the figurative water and sunlight—we can nurture the soil of our inner potential. Spiritual reinvigoration is incredibly personal. It looks different for everyone, but we need an anchor—a means to connect with Hashem in the way that feels most genuine to us. What works for one person may not work for another. As far as reinvigorating ourselves physically, diet and nutrition is the ultimate form of self-care. In order to reach our potential, we need to meet our basic physical needs and optimize our nutrition. 50

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Here are 6 ways to kickstart your nutrition transformation:

Plan a menu.

Think about and focus on your “why.”

The excitement of including delicious food within our day is much more enjoyable and sustainable than the dread and focus on what not to include. Hashem gave us tastebuds for a reason, and we’re supposed to enjoy food! Seize the opportunity of a kickstart to browse through cookbooks or recipe indexes and gather ideas you’d love to include in the coming days or weeks. This will help with planning out your menu and also foster positivity, excitement, variety, and momentum.

The food choices we make are very important when it comes to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. However, one of the most important tools for success (and an important factor to include within a “kickstart”) is considering your “why.” This is an understanding of what is motivating you to succeed in your goals. Each individual’s “why” is unique and specific to her current situation; it changes and evolves and helps keep things in perspective, propelling her to continue toward success. Your “why” compels you to think beyond the number on the scale or the lab value from the blood test.

Accountability. To take your kickstart to the next level, consider adding a layer of accountability. This will help further your momentum and increase your likelihood of success. Enlist the support of a friend (with similar goals so you can act as a team) or a professional such as a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist. Make sure that whoever is holding you accountable is also kind, patient— and rooting for your long-lasting success.

Be mindful to eat throughout the day. On busy days, it’s common to go a long period of time without eating during the day, and then in the quiet night (read: after the kids’ bedtime) to overconsume. Be mindful to listen to your body throughout the day and eat when you are hungry. Food gives us fuel and it’s important to eat nourishing foods as needed to be most productive and efficient.

Drink enough water. Hydration is incredibly important and often neglected. While it is easy to do and seems so obvious, most of us are not properly hydrated, especially in the winter months when there’s no scorching sun to serve as our reminder. Aim to drink half of your weight (in pounds) in ounces of water per day. Adequate hydration may increase your focus and energy level, improve your mood, and eliminate toxins, among a myriad of other health benefits.

Incorporate balance, moderation, and variety. A balanced diet typically ensures the presence of essential nutrients that are needed for our body to function optimally. Aim to include a variety of foods along with colorful produce. Different colors increase the visual appeal of food, and as a bonus also represent a plethora of vitamins and minerals. Balance, moderation, and variety are a few key components to a sustainable healthy eating approach.

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD, offers nutrition counseling services, in addition to a variety of nutrition presentations. “How to Speak with Your Children About Nutrition, Health, and Body Image” is a live webinar presentation for parents offered to schools. If you are interested in learning more about this presentation and how to offer it at your school, or to contact Esti with feedback or inquiries regarding her nutritional services, please email her at esti@estiashernutrition.com or visit estiashernutrition.com.

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SAMPLE

SAMPLE By Libby Silberman

WELLSPRING / JANUARY 2022

“

“For the past couple of years, I’ve been relying on over-the-counter assistance approximately two to three nights a week to help me fall asleep. Otherwise, I can lie awake for hours.”

The FallAsleepFast trial: Sleep training your baby self

“

“By early evening, I’m exhausted. I make sure to get to bed at a decent hour to be rested the following day, but alas, the same saga repeats itself each night. I can lie in bed for as long as two hours before falling asleep.”

“The minute I hit my pillow, my mind starts racing. I’m reviewing my lists, planning my next day, and rehashing the day’s events. I can’t fall asleep for ages. Naturally, I am perpetually tired.”

Lights out. Time to get some shuteye. For many lucky people, going to bed doesn’t mean going to sleep. As many as 27–35 percent of Americans struggle with falling asleep easily and remaining asleep for the night. The adverse effects of sleep deprivation are well known, with the grimmer end of the spectrum suffering in relationships, mental health challenges, and ability to hold down jobs. Not surprisingly, only one in seven Americans report waking up feeling fully rested every morning. Ever out to help my community live better, I researched methods to help individuals fall asleep faster without having to rely on medication. I came across multiple modalities, including CBT and reregulating sleep patterns by doing time in a sleep institute. While both seem to boast great success rates, most people experiencing mild to moderate insomnia aren’t quite desperate enough to try these long-haul solutions. While most of us want results fast, we understand that supplements and drugs aren’t good in the long term. In other words, we needed that perfect in-between solution that will help mild insomniacs fall asleep fast. Healthline seemed to tout exactly what I was looking for. Their researchers offer six methods that neatly fit into the category of “work, but not-too-hard work.” I researched each one of their methods in exhaustive detail and decided to give them a go at our lab. According to Healthline, individuals practicing these methods fall asleep within 120 seconds, and 60 seconds when well-trained. Would the modalities prove to be effective in curing insomnia?

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SAMPLE

WELCOME TO THE LATEST WELLSPRING TRIAL, CODENAMED FALLASLEEPFAST. 54

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Dragging 25 beds into the lab was a slight challenge to consider. For starters, space constraints. Yeah, that condition, especially as we’re situated in a densely populated urban frum community, is impossible to circumvent. Second, most subjects preferred their own space and privacy. Third, all subjects have some kind of familial obligations and are needed at home before sleep, during sleep (Maaaaa! I had a bad dream!), and in the wee hours of the morning.

in case the first one was too challenging or boring.

With that reality in mind, we realized this challenge would have to take place off the official lab site.

• Open the window slightly to keep the bedroom cool.

Will our samples fall asleep within 120 seconds? Time will tell.

The Experiment: Our 25 trial participants duly selected, I got busy training them on six methods for falling asleep fast (see The Methods). Each participant selected two methods they would implement, one as a primary fall-asleep method, and a second one to fall back on

Then, each participant learned about healthy sleep habits to implement for four days in advance of commencing the six-week program. They implemented four out of the eight suggestions below for four consecutive nights. • Hide your clock. • Take a warm shower close to bedtime.

• Wear a pair of breathable socks. • Do a gentle 15-minute yoga routine. • Place your phone far away from your bed (get an alarm clock if that’s why you’re sleeping with your phone). • Aromatherapy: use an essential oils diffuser with lavender or chamomile. • Eat earlier in the evening to avoid an active digestive system at bedtime.

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SAMPLE

THE METHODS

Here are the six fall-asleep-faster methods from which participants were encouraged to select their picks. Since it takes roughly 6 weeks to master the art of falling asleep within 60–120 seconds, if you’d like to try any of the below methods, be persistent, patient, and of course, don’t choose Yom Tov or highly stressful times to implement them.

OPTION 1: THE MILITARY METHOD This method, which is extremely popular, is employed by the US Navy to help officers fall asleep fast in extremely stressful situations. It is said to work even right after drinking coffee or with gunshots blazing in the background. Try this method if you struggle with falling asleep amid noise and distractions. Instructions: 1. Relax your entire face, especially your oral muscles. 2. Drop your shoulders to release the tension and let your hands drop to the side of your body. 3. Exhale, relaxing your chest. 4. Relax your legs, thighs, and calves. 5. Clear your mind for 10 seconds by imagining a relaxing scene. 6. If this doesn’t work, try saying the words “don’t think” over and over for 10 seconds. 7. Within 10 seconds of completing the above exercise, you should fall asleep If this doesn’t work for you, you may need to work on the foundations of the military method: breathing and muscle relaxation, which have some scientific evidence proving that they work. Note: Some conditions such as ADHD or anxiety may interfere with this method’s effectiveness.

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OPTION 2: THE 4-7-8 BREATHING METHOD This method focuses on breathing and relaxation of your muscles, taking your mind off topic and into a deep sleep. This method requires practice and patience. To prepare, place the tip of your tongue against the roof of your mouth, behind your two front teeth. Keep your tongue in this position the entire time, pursing your lips if you need to. Instructions: 1. Part your lips slightly and make a whooshing sound as you exhale through your mouth. 2. Close your lips and inhale silently through your nose. Count to 4 in your head. 3. Then hold your breath for 7 seconds. 4. Exhale (with a whoosh sound) for 8 seconds. 5. Avoid being too alert at the end of each cycle. Try to practice doing it mindlessly. 6. Complete this cycle four times. Let your body sleep if you feel relaxation coming on earlier than anticipated. Note: If you have a respiratory condition, such as asthma, consult with your doctor before implementing this method.

OPTION 3: PROGRESSIVE MUSCLE RELAXATION (PMR) Progressive muscle relaxation, also known as deep muscle relaxation, helps your body unwind. The premise is to tense—but not strain—your muscles and relax to release the tension. This movement promotes tranquility throughout your body. Before you start, practice the 4-7-8 method while imagining the tension leaving your body as you exhale. Instructions: This is a sample script for PMR: 1. Raise your eyebrows as high as possible for 5 seconds. This will tighten your forehead muscles. 2. Relax your muscles immediately and feel the tension drop. Wait 10 seconds. 3. Smile widely to create tension in your cheeks. Hold for 5 seconds. Relax. 4. Pause 10 seconds. 5. Squint with your eyes shut. Hold 5 seconds. Relax. 6. Pause 10 seconds. 7. Tilt your head back slightly so you’re comfortably looking at the ceiling. Hold 5 seconds. Relax as your neck sinks back into the pillow. 8. Pause 10 seconds. 9. Keep moving down the rest of the body, from your triceps to chest, thighs to feet. 10. Let yourself fall asleep, even if you don’t finish tensing and relaxing the rest of your body. As you do this, focus on how relaxed and heavy your body feels when it’s relaxed and in a comfortable state.

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SAMPLE

OPTION 4: TELL YOURSELF TO STAY AWAKE Also called paradoxical intention, telling yourself to stay awake may be a good way to fall asleep faster. (Reverse psychology at work.) Research has found that people who practice paradoxical intention fall asleep faster than those who don’t. If you often find yourself stressed out about trying to sleep, this method may be more effective than traditional, intentional breathing practices.

OPTION 5: IMAGE DISTRACTION If counting activates your mind too much, try engaging your imagination. Some say that visualizing something can make it real, and it’s possible this works with sleep, too. If you’re a realist, this method may not work for you. It works best for individuals with big imaginations. In a 2002 study from the University of Oxford, researchers found that people who engaged in “imagery distraction” fell asleep faster than those who had general distraction or no instructions. Instead of counting sheep, try to imagine a serene setting and all the feelings that go with it. For example, you can imagine a waterfall, the sounds of echoing, rushing water, and the scent of damp moss. The key is to let this image take up space in your brain to prevent yourself from “re-engaging with thoughts, worries, and concerns” pre-sleep.

Image 3

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OPTION 6: ACUPRESSURE FOR SLEEP

Image 1

Not enough research exists regarding the effectiveness of acupressure for sleep, but the methods are easy and you may want to give them a shot. One method is to target areas you feel are particularly tense, such as the upper part of your nose bridge or your temples. However, there are also specific acupressure spots on your body that are reported to help with insomnia. Here are three you can target without sitting up: Spirit gate technique: (see image 1) 1. Feel for the small, hollow space under your palm on your pinky side. 2. Gently apply pressure in a circular or up-anddown movement for 2–3 minutes. 3. Press down the left side of the point (palm facing) with gentle pressure for a few seconds, and then hold the right side (back-of-hand facing). 4. Repeat on the same area of your other wrist. Inner frontier gate technique: (see image 2)

Image 2

1. On one palm facing up, count three finger-widths down from your wrist crease. 2. With your thumb, apply a steady downward pressure between the two tendons. 3. Massage in a circular or up-and-down motion until you feel your muscles relax. Wind pool technique: (see image 3) 1. Interlock your fingers together (fingers out and palms touching) and open your palms to create a cup shape with your hands. 2. Position your thumbs at the base of your skull, with thumbs touching where your neck and head connect. 3. Apply a deep and firm pressure, using circular or up-and-down movements to massage this area. 4. Breathe deeply and pay attention to how your body relaxes as you exhale.

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SAMPLE

How It Went Over:

SURI B., 29 Pre-Experiment FallAsleep Profile: I often have a hard time falling asleep at night. I literally feel my mind racing with thoughts. FallAsleepFast methods selected: 1 & 4 Results: I don’t know if it actually takes me 120 seconds because I obviously don’t look at the clock while I’m falling asleep, but this method has helped me relax so I can fall asleep more easily. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I tried falling asleep but was unable to. I’d rate myself as a success.

YOCHEVED H., 27 DEVORAH T., 23 Pre-Experiment FallAsleep Profile: Right now, it takes me between a half hour and an hour to fall asleep. As my baby still wakes up a few times at night, and my toddler is up at six, every minute I can possibly sleep is precious, and I would love to fall asleep right away. FallAsleep methods selected: 1 & 6 Results: I started off each night with an acupressure routine targeting all three spots that were suggested. Then I tried the military method. In the beginning, following the instructions was more stressful than relaxing, but eventually it became a habit. I now fall asleep within a couple of minutes.

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Pre-Experiment FallAsleep Profile: I have a very difficult time falling asleep. I have tried high doses of melatonin but nothing seems to help. Currently, I am using a sleep aid called Unisom (doxylamine succinate). This generally helps me fall asleep easily if I’m not overtired. FallAsleepFast methods selected: 2 & 3 Results: I focused primarily on the breathing method but still used some of the PMR method. I found that the breathing method definitely helped me get out of the untamed thoughts cycle and it relaxed my mind. The PMR method was also good at times in helping me. Sometimes I used a little of both methods. I don’t currently fall asleep in 120 seconds, however it has definitely helped me become less anxious at bedtime and feel more relaxed. I take Unisom about once a week now.

YONA S., 49 Pre-Experiment FallAsleep Profile: I used to complain to my wife that the kids woke me up at night. Now that they are finally old enough to sleep through the night, I simply can’t fall asleep. Blame it on whatever you want—midlife, stress, children—the point is that I cannot fall asleep for around two hours after going to bed. I usually pass the time listening to a shiur. FallAsleep methods selected: 1 & 6 Results: Interesting, acupressure (6) has been very successful. We were clearly told that it hasn’t been proven and is only a theory, and of course it’s likely that it worked because I believed it worked. Bottom line, I am now relaxing much faster and can fall asleep within 15–20 minutes.

JENN N., 45 Pre-Experiment FallAsleep Profile: It takes me a while to fall asleep and the rest of the night is a series of dozing on and off. FallAsleep methods selected: 3 & 6 Results: Option 3 relaxed my body deeply. However, for the most part, it did not help me fall asleep faster. With option 6, I’ve either been doing something wrong or it doesn’t really work.

LEAH S., 23 Pre-Experiment FallAsleep Profile: It can take me about half an hour to fall asleep every night. If there’s a lot on my mind, I had even a five-minute nap in the day, or if I drank coffee past noon, it takes a lot longer—perhaps over an hour. FallAsleep methods selected: 1 & 5 Results: Image distraction worked wonderfully at first but eventually, my thoughts took over and imagining scenes was useless. The military method was fun to try for about 3–4 nights, but I lacked the patience to make it a habit. However, in the past six weeks or so, I’ve either grown so tired or so relaxed that falling asleep is not such an anxiety-inducing event.

BRACHA MIRIAM D., 28 Pre-Experiment FallAsleep Profile: Sometimes I’m so exhausted that I fall asleep fully dressed on a chair, and sometimes I can be up for hours in bed or wake up from the slightest rustle. My house needs to be totally silent, dark, and at the ideal temperature for me to fall asleep. Frequently, my sleep is so light that I wake up feeling like I had a nice midday nap. FallAsleep methods selected: 1 & 2 Results: Option 2 worked beautifully. It took time until my body went into a natural rhythm of nighttime breathing and I had to focus on the whole 4-7-8 routine. I have no idea how I breathe these days because I instantly feel my breath relaxing in my chest when I go to bed. It did take a while to get used to, but I am so grateful for the deep relaxing sleep it brings on.

BINYAMIN B., 32 Pre-Experiment FallAsleep Profile: I work lots of hours and don’t have time to mentally unwind. I find myself staying up in bed and simply rehashing my day and just catching my breath. It can take 45 minutes to an hour to fall asleep. FallAsleep methods selected: 1 & 4 Results: It worked! I’ve also started using my work commute time to unwind instead of reading, talking to my parents on the phone, or listening to the news. The healthy sleep habits module also proved to be very valuable in helping me build better sleep routines. I can’t say I fall asleep within 120 seconds, but within five minutes I’m no longer conscious of passing time.

WELLSPRING / SHEVAT 5782

SAMPLE

How It Went Over:

RINA L., 22 Pre-Experiment FallAsleep Profile: It takes me a while to fall asleep, probably an hour or an hour and a half, unless I’m totally zombied. FallAsleep methods selected: 1 & 4 Results: I tried 4 for starters, but I gave birth recently which changed my sleep patterns. I am so exhausted these days that I can fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. Whenever I can’t fall asleep, I try telling myself “don’t think” and “you’re not allowed to sleep now,” but I don’t think it actually helps.

HADASSAH S., 35 Pre-Experiment FallAsleep Profile: It currently takes me about 25 minutes to fall asleep, but the problem arises during pregnancy, postpartum, or when I’m experiencing any other hormonal change. I can remain awake for at least 2–3 hours before falling asleep. FallAsleep methods selected: 4 & 5 Results: The first method worked wonderfully and helped me tune out and fall asleep relatively fast. Implementing the healthy sleep habits we were supposed to try the first few nights was actually key in helping me fall asleep fastest. I tried winding down earlier, keeping a window open, leaving my phone in a different room, and not watching the clock. On average, I’d estimate that it takes me about 5–10 minutes to fall asleep now.

WELLSPRING / JANUARY 2022

SIMA S., 31 Pre-Experiment FallAsleep Profile: It can take me ages to fall asleep each night. I change positions a dozen times before finally dozing off. FallAsleep methods selected: 1 &2 Results: I only ended up using option 1. I went through all stages of relaxing my facial muscles and skeletal muscles. I kept getting interrupted by different thoughts, such as my to-do list, but I tried to harness my thoughts and bring myself to relax. I first envisioned a calming scene, only to have very not-relaxing images pop up in my mind. I then tried banishing these thoughts by bringing up that calm sea again, which ended up turning into a raging stormy sea…At some point, I’d give up and just try to relax, waiting for sleep to come. I tried this for two weeks in which I ended up being up for longer than before. I gave up after two weeks. I did maintain the healthy sleep habits we learned before starting.

FALLASLEEPFAST TRIAL, IN NUMBERS

18 1 Most popular option selected

(military method)

trial participants manage to fall asleep much faster than they used to

trial participant can actually fall asleep within 120 seconds now (she primarily uses the 4-7-8 method)

reported feeling some measure of anxiety around going to sleep

anticipate maintaining the FallAsleepFast techniques and/or the healthy bedtime habits

quit the trial within the first two weeks

of these participants say it’s gotten better via the FallAsleepTrial

Curious about a health fad but don’t want to be the experimental subject just yet? I may want to experiment with that! Send a message to info@wellspringmagazine.com, subject line “Libby’s the Sample.” Meet you in the lab!

WELLSPRING / SHEVAT 5782

CUP OF TEA

WELLSPRING / JANUARY 2022

Cup of Tea with

Elana Mizrahi, CMT, CR Elana Mizrahi, CMT, CR

AGE: 43 FAMILY: Married, mother of 5

LOCATION: Jerusalem, Israel POSITION: Certified Alternative Women’s Health Care Practitioner, Life Coach

SPECIALTIES: Women’s health, trauma, anxiety, stress PASSION: Helping Jewish women and their families SHE WISHES PEOPLE WOULD KNOW THAT: Achieving balance is a life journey. Success is being on the journey, not the outcome.

By Roizy Baum WELLSPRING / SHEVAT 5782

CUP OF TEA

California native Elana Mizrahi is not only fueled by anything health related. This vivacious visionary is passionate about connection, healing, and balance—which she defines as a life journey. Getting to know Elana has been a powerful lesson in Just. Do. It. When she recognizes a need in the Jewish 66

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just about dabbling and experimenting with a project. It’s about giving it her all—with her heart, soul, and a very fiery passion. Elana Mizrahi never imagined the life she’d be living. How does a Stanford graduate get into alternative medicine? “In a broad sense, what I do now has no connection with what I ever thought I would do,” she shares, her enthusiasm a breath of fresh air. In Hashem’s Hands To Elana, marrying into the Syrian community where everyone is a cousin of your mother-in-law, being childless was a very solitary feeling. “I just assumed that a kid follows after marriage,” she says with a shrug. “It’s common to think nature is like that.” Already in the beginning of her marriage, while living in the States, Elana realized that her road to fertility would not be smooth sailing. Numerous fertility treatments and doctor visits ensued, to no avail. She trudged through it all—the running around, the ups and the downs, the moments of pain and the moments of growth, the hormones and pills, the ultrasounds, and the waiting. “I was suddenly thrown into the field of medical treatments and technicalities. For three years, I felt like a pin cushion to the doctors. There was no looking at me as a whole. It was all about the protocol, the protocol, the protocol. Who cares that there was more to my life than this bump in my journey? I don’t remember that any doctor spent more than five minutes with us, or any that really listened or asked us how we were handling all this,” Elana admits, her voice still conveying the raw pain she experienced years ago.

community, she springs into action to fill the void. Humble and unpretentious, Elana still continues to broaden her already lengthy list of accomplishments, adding techniques as she goes. And as I discover more about her ever increasing job descriptions, my admiration grows right along with it. For every one of the myriad things Elana does is not

Then, the Mizrahis came to Eretz Yisrael. The spontaneous decision was just what the doctor ordered. “It was almost like we were newlyweds. It was a very refreshing year, during which we did not pursue any treatment. Nobody knew us. It was like shanah rishonah, but we’d been married for almost four years.” After what the couple refers to as their self-declared hiatus, they realized waiting around and doing nothing would not exactly bring their long-awaited baby into the picture. Elana describes how although she was so familiar

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CUP OF TEA

with her body, she still had to start from A. “We went through famous fertility experts who referred us to doctors,” Elana relates. “Meeting these highfalutin doctors is really intimidating. The fear doesn’t melt away with ‘experience.’ I remember just knowing it wasn’t going to work but being unable to voice my take. This was not because I was being pessimistic, but because I already knew which medications wouldn’t work for me.” As Elana had predicted, the newly suggested treatments did not work. It was at that point that she reached a moment of utter despair. Then, when she took the time to process her circumstances, she said, “Ribbono Shel Olam, if You want to send me children, You will. And if not, You won’t.” It was the moment of relinquishing. The moment Elana entirely placed herself in Hashem’s hands. Tofu, Granola, and Alternative Medicine A little while after Elana experienced yet another setback with treatment, her friend suggested, “Why don’t you try the natural route?” To Elana, who’d grown up in Northern California, the land of tofu, granola, and vegetarians, the idea was far from foreign or crazy. But for some reason, this option had never crossed her mind. “You just go into routine thinking there’s only one way Hashem can send you children,” she reflects. Enthusiastically, she got her husband on board and they altered their diets, eating as much organic as economically and practically possible. The main part, Elana says, was relinquishing. “There was also this sense that I needed to feel healthy and strong for myself—not just for my baby,” she adds. Elana compares the two types of visits she experienced. “We went to see a homeopath, drank herbal juices, and saw an acupuncturist. Instead of feeling drained after these visits, I felt energized. The practitioners were humble and honest. I finally felt like a person, not an object or lab specimen. In the process, something inside of me was healed. It was very deep.” 68

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Soon after, Elana became pregnant with her eldest son. What followed was a beautiful pregnancy and a beautiful birth. “Everything was joy,” Elana says of that momentous time in her life. “I was so happy to have the pregnancy emotions and feelings. Nausea was joy. I was super excited about birth. Nobody traumatized me in any way about birth. In a way, it was great because nobody painted a bleak picture for me. There was the idea of ‘your body can do things.’ I was very much in tune with the idea of natural birth and had no fear of pain whatsoever.”

Her beautiful newborn in her arms, Elana turned to her husband and said, “I just want to do this. I need to do this."

And it’s not that Elana was entirely ignorant. Having lived with juvenile arthritis, she knew what pain meant. She laughingly recounts an interview with one doula. “I told her my goal, ‘I just want to be happy.’ She thought I was nuts. I did not end up using her because we obviously weren’t a match.” Her beautiful newborn in her arms, Elana turned to her husband and said, “I just want to do this. I need to do this. If my body can be a vessel to bring children into this world, I want to be a messenger to help other women bring their children into this world. I want to learn and I want to help. Who knows? Maybe this is why we had to endure the test of infertility?” Master of Masters As soon as she regained her strength, Elana went back to school and began to study. One class at a time. She chose to start with massage first because “touch in itself is healing, relaxing, and comforting.” As soon as she mastered massage, she shares, “I moved on to reflexology, Su Jok therapy, and finally became a doula.” In the meantime, the Mizrahis were blessed with another child. At that time, Elana was taking a course here and a course there. “I was a mommy, but I was always learning more about women’s health, reflexology, and herbs. I was also reading a lot about abdominal massages.” During this time, Elana went to receive

a massage by a wonderful elderly Yemenite woman who helps women with ovulation, with a focus on the digestive and reproductive organs. “I was so blown away,” she shares, “that I got up and resolutely announced, ‘You’re teaching this to me.’” But the Yemenite woman had a handful of excuses, “No. You’re not Yemenite. It’s mesorah. I can’t.” Around that time, Elana read about Rosita Arvigo from Belize (in the Caribbean), an expert in abdominal massage in a gynecology book. The method’s similarity to that of the Yemenite woman was striking. “Ready to do anything to have this technique in my toolbox, I contacted the institute in America. For some reason, all the classes were over Shabbos or strongly interfered with Sukkos or Pesach. I told them, ‘I’m a religious Jew and I can’t do it this time.’” After all her efforts, Hashem sent the method to Elana on a platter. Unbelievably, Rosita expressed a strong interest in visiting Jerusalem later that winter. She ended up coming to Elana’s home, on her terms, to teach her. “A year later,” Elana continues, “I got two teachers to come to Israel from Sunday to Friday and teach me more. That’s when I was confident enough to start performing this type of massage.” She simultaneously started taking courses as a doula. Elana’s decision to train as a doula stemmed from her feeling vulnerable during birth. She realized the importance of having a feminine, maternal figure present during the process. She then traveled to America for a quick course on pregnancy massages. It started with fertility and morphed into pregnancy and postpartum. She also studied trauma, focusing primarily on birth trauma. “I’m passionate about birth and about going into it with simchah,” Elana relates. “Why should a woman go into birth being afraid? Hashem puts fear into a woman so that she should pray. But it doesn’t have to be a certain way just because your friend had this experience.” When my eyes round at the range of fields she has already explored, Elana laughs. “It’s mostly women’s health,” she sums up her career. “From seminary girls dealing with unregulated cycles to elderly women dealing with their own traumas, my clientele is varied. Yes, I have clients from the age of 17 to 92, but all ages need the same chizuk!” Expectations Passionate about building up mommies and strongly be-

lieving that healthier moms equal healthier kids and healthier relationships, Elana is adamant about breaking the unrealistic expectations we set up for ourselves. “How can you tell a woman, ‘If you’re happy, everyone will be happy?’” Elana asks. “It’s a ridiculous expectation! You don’t have a direct line to everyone’s happiness button. But, if a woman works on modeling self-regulation and is in tune with her needs, she can build a healthier family.” As an advocate for the right balance, which she sees as necessary for achieving fulfillment, Elana is a big proponent of paying attention to our physical, spiritual, and emotional needs. “A lack of fulfillment is what brings people down. We need more relinquishing. It’s like nothing is balanced. Either I’m totally ignoring my body or I’m putting too much into it. Women are having a tough time finding the right balance. It’s all interwoven. You can’t look at a couple having fertility issues and think it’s all about ovulation. There’s so, so much more to the big picture.” Often, when Elana works with postpartum women, she notices the depletion they’re experiencing. “I wish women would be more prepared for the postpartum stage. I tell them, ‘You’re not a ball. You don’t just bounce back. This is a nine-month journey before and it will be at least a ninemonth journey after’—especially to women who lament about their weight. I tell them, ‘Why should you look like a 20-year-old single woman? You’re a new person. You actually carried and gave birth to a baby!’” Elana believes that with less of the daily pressures and more sensitivity, postpartum depression would not be as rampant. She grows wistful as she reminisces. “I used to be amazed by Yerushalmi women raising their huge families in tiny spaces. They don’t even eat healthily, yet there is this non-pressure because they know what their tafkid is. Their expectations are so healthy and realistic, ‘I’m doing what I need to do. Being a mom. This is my tafkid.’ I believe this is why these women have tremendous physical kochos.” As a coach, Elana focuses on instilling in her clients awareness of the beauty of a family. “If we can only understand the value of a family, things would look very different. When you’re in a pregnancy and you’re weighed down by anxiety, find compassion. Your varicose veins may stay, but the period of pregnancy and birth will end. Keep it in mind the whole time. When a woman finds herself in darkness, nauseous and miserable, she can tell herself, ‘This neshamah inside of me is so full of light and beauty.’” “We must remember to connect and go back to the ba-

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CUP OF TEA

sics,” Elana stresses. “You can’t tell a woman who’s barely functioning to start sprouting, eating all raw, and blowing half her salary on organic produce. Instead, she can try to cut out one cup of coffee and drink a cup of water instead.” The Three A’s Plus to Combat Anxiety How does Elana help women cope when they feel disconnected? “There’s a certain hierarchy. If you can’t connect to Hashem, you can’t connect to other people and if you can’t connect to other people, you can’t connect to Hashem. One essential coping mechanism I place much emphasis on is the Three A’s plus: Awareness, Acknowledgment, Acceptance plus Action.” Elana elaborates on what can we do when we feel anxious. “Awareness is about tuning into yourself. What are you anxious about? Can you define it? Where do you feel it in your body? Just having an awareness of it without judging it, and most importantly, having awareness of Hashem’s presence and that He’s taking care of you, is calming and very healing.” “Creating awareness opens up the space to allow us to acknowledge and appreciate,” Elana continues. “When we recognize all the good bestowed upon us, we’re filled with gratitude. By acknowledging one area of our life, one thing we feel gratitude for, our appreciation grows. Instead of pointing out what’s not working, we can redirect the negativity by noticing what is working and that will change the entire image.” All of these positive steps lead us toward attaining the most challenging one: acceptance. “This one’s hard!” Elana admits. “To accept that I have no control. To make Hashem’s will my will. Because this is so difficult, we take a step back and ask Hashem to help us with it. ‘Hashem,’ we can say, ‘help me be able to make Your will my will. Help me to just let go. To go with what there is, who that person is, the situation You’ve sent me. To accept and move on.’” With acceptance comes relief. It’s a total letting go of control. It’s accepting that there are things beyond our responsibilities or capabilities. “In situations where effort 70

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is necessary, we take action,” Elana notes. “Our effort in itself equates with success. The outcome is in Hashem’s hands.” A Personal Journey “So your friend went back to work four weeks after birth. So what? If it works for her, that doesn’t mean it works for you,” Elana says, highlighting the importance of going by what we need instead of comparing ourselves to others. “When you fill your own cup,” she continues, “you’re a much better mother than when you’re running on empty. Fill your emotional and physical cup so it can spill over to your husband and children. And if we want

our daughters to develop healthier habits—be it in their eating, sleeping and exercise, we need to model that.” While Elana is there to guide her clients with the knowledge she’s amassed, she’s fascinated time and again when one generation lapses into the next. She shares, “It’s surreal that I’m part of families by now. Two beautiful sisters who were orphaned by their mother used to come to our home every Shabbos. One was 28, the other 29. We had a very special connection. When they got engaged, I studied to become a kallah teacher in order to teach them, and later I served as their doula. It’s fascinating that now I’m already going with the next generation to births.” Of course, Elana reaps much satisfaction from her cli-

ents’ success stories. “Just recently, a woman who was very overdue came for help with natural induction. I tried helping her body get into motion via reflexology and massage. But most importantly, I gave her chizuk that her body knows what to do and that she can put her worries aside. Time and time again, with Hashem’s help, it works!” Be it a relaxing massage, a balancing reflexology session, stress management, labor preparation classes, fertility treatment, and everything in between, myriad grateful and heartfelt letters and testimonials confirm how Elana is so much more than a healer; she’s an inspiration. While her career is a colorful palette, it’s the love, faith, and prayer she invests that shine through with every woman who comes her way.

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THE FUNCTIONAL DIETITIAN

The SelfSabotaging Dieter By Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE

At our third follow-up session, Rivky was still struggling to get off the ground with her food plan. She admitted that she loved the foods in the plan I’d developed and had even tried it for a day or two and felt full and energetic. But by late afternoon on day three or four she’d found herself derailed. When I asked Rivky to describe her thought process at that time, she expressed frustration at her many failed weight-loss attempts. She felt there was no point in trying because it would take too long to reach her ideal goal—and what purpose was there in putting in so much energy if she was going to fail anyway? If this scenario sounds familiar to you, you may be grappling with what is known as “all-or-nothing” syndrome. The all-or-nothing approach to life—and specifically in relation to weight loss or any healthy diet initiative—is a mental paralysis that says: “If I can’t do something perfectly, I may as well not do it at all.”

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When it comes to our health and our bodies, all-or-nothing thinking becomes problematic and even harmful. In simple terms, it’s when we develop the belief that if we aren’t perfect at health, the workout regimen, or the diet, we’re failing—so why even try?

How to break out of the “all-or-nothing” mindset to lose weight effectively Learning how to lose weight or change an eating lifestyle effectively requires creating new skills, habits, beliefs, and patterns of behavior. With individuals who have a long and complicated history of “dieting,” this becomes an even harder process because quitting too many times not only reinforces old habits, it also establishes a pattern of failure in the mind that makes future attempts at change more difficult.

• You’ll have great days interspersed with not such great ones.

The creation of new habits takes repetition and time and is not as simple as flicking a switch in your brain. New habits must be reinforced with new patterns of thinking. As I reiterate to my “all-or-nothing” clients: it is inevitable that your old habits and patterns will show up from time to time until the change process is complete— and this does not mean you have failed!

• Give your body and your mind time to learn the new pattern.

So when I meet a client who tells me they have a history of failing at their health or weight-loss attempts as soon as they have a bad day, I ask them to consider the following motivational statements, and to try reading them daily:

• Your goal is not perfection; it’s progression. If you slip back into an old pattern, acknowledge it, accept it, and get back on track.

• If you start a weight-loss regimen or healthy eating initiative, be patient with and understanding of yourself; don’t quit because you’ve had a setback.

In the case above, Rivky eventually lost 30 pounds and learned how to enjoy small amounts of her previous “no-no” foods without allowing herself to be completely derailed. With the right support and tools, including a balanced approach to healthy eating, it is possible to break the all-or-nothing cycle.

• Learning how to lose weight effectively is not an allor-nothing game. • You’re learning new ways of acting and new ways of thinking. • Just because you decided to start a healthy eating plan doesn’t mean your mind and body will do an immediate 180-degree turnaround.

• Harness your creativity to make it work. If you have a bad week, set a short-term goal of doing better the next week and be proud of yourself when you succeed.

• Remember, you are creating a change that will last a lifetime. Be patient and believe in yourself; the rest will take care of itself.

Recommended reading: The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person, by Dr. Judith S. Beck, CBT therapist

Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE is registered dietitian/nutritionist and certified diabetes educator who has advanced training in functional medicine. She maintains a busy virtual nutrition practice, servicing numerous international clients. She specializes in sustainable weight loss and nutrition therapy for autoimmune disease, gastrointestinal disorders, and female hormone imbalances. She can be reached at 732-364-0064 or through her website, www.thegutdietitian.com.

WELLSPRING / SHEVAT 5782

SERIAL DIARY

COMPASS s e rial diary by Dina Lieber with Libby Silberman

Chapter 5 JANUARY 2019

WELLSPRING / JANUARY 2022

Recap: Dina and her husband Eli settle into their apartment at Mifne, a unique therapeutic program in Northern Israel that provides treatment for one child at a time, with the hopes of helping their autistic daughter, Lana.

o there we were, at Mifne, waiting for the magic to happen. We’d shelled out mammoth sums, put our lives on hold for one month, and settled into an apartment that was situated in a tall, imposing building at the top of a hill with a stunning panoramic view, out in the middle of nowhere. When we finally made it there, the beauty of the landscape was completely lost on us—so consumed were we by nervousness and hopeful anticipation of what was to come. The interior design of our temporary home was, politely put, green and rustic, and far from modern—but the vibe was tranquil and wholesome. From the start, the staff members were incredibly warm and maternal. As is Mifne’s specialty, the full team of therapists, psychologists, doctors, and a secretary were all devoted to our family alone. Eli and I spent the first few days alternating between babysitting Menachem in the sibling room and playing with Lana—for whom we’d made this journey—in the large, padded, and otherwise empty therapy room. There were surprisingly few toys, which we later learned was intentional. None of the staff members were particularly forthcoming, so we resigned ourselves to guessing games. We had no idea what this was all about.

After four days, it grew apparent that Lana had built enough trust in us to allow herself to be left alone with a therapist. It was an exciting moment, and a few minutes later, we were invited to observe the goings-on in the room. I still chuckle at the memory of discovering that what we had thought was a giant mirror in the therapy room was in truth a one-way glass—and that the therapists had been observing Eli and me with Lana all the time we’d spent there together. A slew of professionals were writing detailed notes on Lana’s every interaction and reaction, and recording videos of the sessions too. They were working to understand what made her tick by paying attention to the tiniest of nuances. We spent time observing the sessions through the glass, and finally, we met with a psychologist to discuss our questions. Most importantly, she conveyed to us, we had to learn to tune in to Lana. Every day, one of us had a session with Lana alone with the full knowledge that our every interaction was being observed and analyzed. The room footage would then be played back to us, with feedback on our behaviors. Eli was a natural and earned only praise from the staff after each video was played back to him. But me? I was stumbling and learning lessons the hard way. It was eye-opening yet demoralizing.

While we had become familiar over the past while with many different modalities, none of the Mifne therapies fit any mold. Eli and I were clueless as to how their interventions would play out. We felt like kids in a classroom, where no instruction was given for expected behavior, but the teacher was being strict anyway.

When given the opportunity to stop, pause, and rewind, we learned so much about Lana and ourselves. I vividly recall one session in which Lana lost interest in me and nothing I did could earn her attention back. I was stumped as to where I’d gone wrong. Later, when the therapists replayed the video for me several times, I still wasn’t tuned in, until they shared their speculations with me. Earlier in the session, Lana had crawled toward me when a therapist entered the room, but I hadn’t acknowledged her presence by picking her up or by embracing her in a hug. Hence, she’d “turned off” for the rest of the session. It was little lessons like these that taught me so much about my precious little daughter, whose gestures and behaviors I found so difficult to decipher. Ironically, the more I came to understand her sensitivities, the more overwhelmed I felt. With so many hurdles to overcome, the future seemed impossible.

Just when we were getting frustrated at being left in the dark, things started falling into place.

At Mifne, our goal was to build an attachment, but it felt like Lana’s needs were too great to fill. As she discovered

Mifne’s approach to development is built around attachment parenting. Every time we left Lana, the therapists made an official big deal about it, so each separation was accompanied by lots of crying and tantrums. We knew on some level that this was good for her, but at that point it was simply painful. We had yet to be converted… Another hole in the tire was that we were instructed to keep Lana away from all unnecessary stimuli after session hours. There went all our grand plans of visiting attractions in the area after hours.

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SERIAL DIARY

the concept of attachment, she started testing us by being clingy. On the rare occasion that she wanted to make eye contact, she would appear deeply hurt if we weren’t already looking at her. She ran us ragged by doing this all day and night, and at the same time, we saw little progress in other areas. Life felt like a tornado, with Lana as the eye of the storm. Everything was spinning out of control. We felt very isolated, having told only a few close friends we were going away, without providing any details. My parents and inlaws expressed their support and care via telephone, but really—really—it was just the two of us, on our own. It was a surreal new existence. Picture your typical young kollel couple living the Yerushalayim dream being tossed into Hicksville and learning more about parenting at 21 than most learn in a lifetime. We started our Mifne journey in January. Outside, it was cold and wet, and I felt altogether down and out, constantly doubting my parenting. One source of tremendous chizuk was learning Nefesh Shimshon on emunah every night, a gift from one of Eli’s kollel friends. It kept us focused on the reality that nothing occurs by chance. We felt strongly that Hashem’s hand had guided us to this point, and that He was looking after us at every moment. We were grateful that we were of the few lucky ones who’d been granted the opportunity of Mifne, though we understood it was going to be a long haul. It was this hope of a better tomorrow that we clung to as we chinned up for another day, every day, at Mifne.

To be continued…

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DIY

Natural Solution for Molluscum Contagiosum By Miriam Schweid

Molluscum contagiosum, an infection caused by a poxvirus (molluscum contagiosum virus), usually presents as a benign, mild skin disease. Characterized by lesions (growths) that may appear anywhere on the body, these small white warts multiply quickly and are quite unsightly, especially when they appear on the face. This natural essential oil combination may help dry out the molluscum and stop the virus from spreading. 4 oz apple cider vinegar 25 drops tea tree oil 10 drops lemon myrtle oil Combine in a glass bottle. Wet a gauze pad with this solution and apply to warts. Leave overnight.

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Vitamin C plays many roles in strengthening the body’s defenses. A powerful antioxidant that boosts the immune system and protects against infection, it’s an important nutrient to keep your body working at optimal performance. During the winter when the immune system is weak, vitamin C helps raise its defenses and fight against winter colds and flu. It's evident that vitamin C is a key supplement during the cold season to maintain health. Its various benefits ensure a healthier winter. Maxi Health brings you potent vitamin C options: PureWay-C® Max™ is our proprietary blend of vitamin C with lemon bioflavonoids. This non-acidic form of vitamin C is gentle on your digestive tract and supports the delivery and absorption of vitamin C in the body. Lemon bioflavonoids enhance the action of vitamin C and increase its power. Max C Gram Plus™ was created to provide your body with the maximum health benefits of vitamin C. The supplement contains ascorbyl palmitate, which is a fat soluble form of vitamin C, meaning that it remains in your body longer. Max C Gram Plus™ is specially formulated to gradually release throughout the day and provide your body with a constant supply of vitamin C. PureWay-C® Max™ Take one (1) or more preferably with meals*. Max C Gram Plus™ Take one (1) tablet one to four times daily with meals*. *or as directed by a doctor or specialist

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Email our nutritionist at info@maxihealth.com or give us a call at 718.787.1235 for expert advice and answers, any time.

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These statements have not been eval uated by the FDA. These products are not i ntended to di agnose, treat, prevent or cure any di sease.

Power and strengthen your health

WHEN FRUIT BECOMES FRIGHTENING EXPLORING THE UNHEALTHY FEAR OF EVEN HEALTHY FOODS

PARENTING I FEEL IMPRISONED WHEN SPENDING INDIVIDUAL TIME WITH MY CHILD

THE MUSIC IN YOUR MIND CHOOSE THOSE TUNES WISELY

EMOTIONAL EATING

By Shira Savit

Which Music Are You Listening To? Choose the channel that nurtures, not the one that brings you down

“Put on your own oxygen mask before you help someone else,” is a well-known self-care metaphor. If we don’t take care of ourselves first, we won’t be able to take care of others. Massages and hot showers can give us that self-care feel, but there is more to self-care than action; there’s the self-care tone. The way we speak to ourselves can bring us down, deplete us and make us feel like a failure—or raise our spirits, nurture us, and make us feel whole. When we feel like we’ve messed up with our eating, our voice is usually berating and critical. “Why did you have to eat all those cookies?” “Why can’t you just get your act together?” “Shame on you for ruining your diet!” We’re hard on ourselves 80

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and wish we could erase what just happened. Usually, we end up feeling even worse, which triggers more eating— and more feelings of shame and helplessness. But we do have a choice regarding what we tell ourselves.

plays). I gave Gitty some examples of the SCV music: “You are beautiful and lovable and worth taking good care of.” “I deeply care about you and want only the best for you.” “You are such a special person.”

My approach to helping women with food challenges incorporates what I call the SCV, the Self-Care Voice. My client Gitty lamented, “Shira, I know I reach for food when I’m stressed, and I’m supposed to do self-care, like listen to music, take a shower, or go for a walk. But that never works for me. When my nerves are jittery, I’m not interested in doing anything besides eating. At that moment, the self-care stuff doesn’t talk to me. Then I feel worse for not doing what I’m supposed to do.”

Gitty liked the idea, but she wasn’t convinced. “That sounds nice, but my self-criticism is so loud, I feel like it overtakes me. How do I get rid of it?” To reap the benefits of the SCV, I told Gitty, our goal should not be to get rid of self-critical voices. It is to simply raise the volume on the SCV. This doesn’t mean that the negative self-talk disappears; it means we have a choice as to what channel and what volume to play. The station that’s loudest is the one we’ll hear more clearly. Usually, the SCV channel is muted or very faint. Our job is to play that station more often. We can turn up the volume, get familiar with the words, and with time and practice, we might even learn how to dance to the SCV beat.

Gitty to practice her Self-Care Voice throughout the week. I told her she could introduce the voice at any point throughout the day—not only at a time when she was emotionally eating. Furthermore, invoking her SCV didn’t have to mean she had totally internalized this tool, but beginning to use messages of love and kindness would create new neural pathways for more self-compassion and less self-attack.

not bad because you ate this,” “You can make different choices tomorrow,” “You’re a work in progress” were some of the self-care messages that Gitty started to invite into her language repertoire. It didn’t make her overeating disappear, but she did see a change in her reaction afterward; the tune she heard made her feel accepting of herself. Greater acceptance and less shame ultimately enabled her to make better food choices more of the time.

To that end, I encouraged Gitty to imagine a playlist selection with a channel called the SCV. Make a choice to turn on that channel at least once a day, and really listen to its messages. Then repeat them out loud together with the player (just like you might sing along when a melody

The Self-Care Voice is a crucial reminder that we are inherently good, we are wholesome, and that we’re doing the best we can each and every moment. Since we get to decide what music we listen to, we can choose to keep the SCV at the top of our favorite playlist.

Make a choice “What about if you say it into turn on that stead of do it?” I asked Gitty. Since the purpose of self-care channel at least once is to make us feel taken care of, I encourage women to a day, and really listen to speak to themselves in an “I’m taking care of you” way. its messages. Then repeat The SCV is full of compasThe fact that Gitty didn’t them out loud together sion and validation, much feel pressured to get rid of like a parent’s unconditional with the player (just like the negativity actually helped loving, accepting, and nurturher relax more naturally into ing words to a child in pain. you might sing along the positive self-talk. Gradually, The SCV says: I care about you. she learned to choose the SCV I am here for you. I am supporting when a melody station, even just once a day. Evenyou. tually, she got used to giving herself a plays). As a homework assignment, I asked Self-Care Voice after she overate. “You’re

Shira Savit, MA, MHC, INHC, is a mental health counselor with multiple certifications in nutrition and health. She specializes in weight loss, emotional eating, and binge eating. Shira incorporates both nutritional and emotional components in helping her clients reach their goals. Shira has a private practice in Yerushalayim and works with women in any location via phone call or video session. She can be contacted at 516-978-7800, shira@cucumbersandchocolate.com, or via her website: cucumbersandchocolate.com.

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When eve na

fr t ui els fe

like a “cheat”

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THE BIG, BAD, SCARY APPLe By Shiffy Friedman

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A Tu B’Shevat spread featuring an array of breathtaking colors and textures arouses awe and pleasure for many. But for others, even nutrient-dense foods like fruits and vegetables can activate an irrational fear, often brought on by erroneous beliefs about their eating habits, appearance, and self-perception. How a “healthy” lifestyle may actually be unhealthy to your wellbeing. 84

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"IT

was on one of those late evenings, when my husband and I were just lingering in the kitchen,” relates Elisheva, 35. “I was sitting at the table, a cup of water in my hand, and he was rummaging through the pantry for ‘something good to eat.’ After a few seconds, he came upon a treasure: chocolate-covered jelly rings. ‘You know,’ he said as he opened the sealed package, ‘I bought these especially for you because I know how much you love them, but I see you didn’t touch them yet. Want one?’” Describing what she feels was a watershed moment for her, Elisheva continues, “I remember just looking at my husband and blurting out, ‘But it’s scary for me. I’m afraid to have a jelly ring.’ And that was the truth.” Right then, on that evening, it was a jelly ring that Elisheva was afraid of. But when she sat down and pondered which other foods felt frightening to her, she realized it was “anything that’s not on my food plan. From the many years of following various different diets and approaches to weight loss, I’ve come away with an understanding that since I can’t trust myself around food, anything that’s ‘off the plan’ is a threat—even something as harmless and nutritious as another orange segment.” As illogical as this may seem—it’s a fruit after all!—especially to those who can’t relate to this kind of phobia around food, even healthy foods can potentially morph into a trigger of fear and angst for certain individuals. Despite the food’s excellent nutrition profile, food-fearers view anything that’s off their perceived “right plan” as a threat. They are filled instantly with dread and guilt if they end up consuming what, to their mind, is sure to wreak havoc—usually to their weight loss endeavors and sometimes to their health. For Whom? Which individuals are particularly susceptible to falling prey to this unhealthy food fear? “People who experience fear of food generally do not trust the wisdom of their

bodies to tell them when and what they need to eat,” notes Mind Body Eating Coach Susan Zilberman, who’s been helping people heal their relationship with food for almost a decade. “This lack of trust emanates from a variety of beliefs, including the belief that they are incapable of managing their eating without rigid rules, the belief that restrictive eating is healthy, or the belief that they should lose weight, which may be their own belief or the belief of others in the form of loving suggestions, professional advice, and even harsh criticism.” Most prone to experiencing this fear, adds popular Wellspring columnist and Jerusalem-based Eating Psychology and Nutrition Counselor Shira Savit, are “women who have had any type of negative past experiences around food and dieting, including having been the subject of their parents’ controlling comments or behaviors, such as restricting food; having been bullied about weight as children; having been subject to comments from their husband about what they are eating or how they look; having a history of seeing nutritionists; or having already tried a variety of weight loss programs.” Echoing this observation, Registered Dietitian and Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor Gila Glassberg says, “Women who have been restricted from certain foods from a young age are often most prone to exhibiting this fear.” In her Woodmere-based practice, where she also works with clients globally, Gila has observed that many of her clients “were put on a diet from as young as age five. For many, it was more common to be put on a diet between the ages of ten and fifteen. Whether it was a well-meaning parent or the child’s doctor, the child received a clear message that something was terribly wrong with their body and that certain foods should not be eaten. If they would be eaten, they understood, the malady would only get worse.” The problem with this, of course, is that the more restricted we feel, the more we tend to crave and binge on those exact foods. “A child really doesn’t want to disobey their parents, especially when they themselves feel afraid about gaining weight,” Gila explains. “But they do inevitably eat the food, which leads them to feel a great sense of guilt and shame. Some will go as far as to steal from a store or steal money from their parents to get those ‘off-limit’ foods. So of course, these foods, even twenty, thirty years

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later can bring up significant fear, as well as other very strong negative feelings like shame.” It’s not only those who were forced to “go on a diet” that may experience this kind of fear, Gila notes. “For some, the weight loss first happens unintentionally, such as during a bout of flu in which they experienced loss of appetite. But then the compliments start pouring in and that feeling of validation and approval becomes so alluring. They decide that if they want to keep their ‘status’ they ought to continue eating—or not!—the way they did when they were sick. The foods they now restrict tend to become high-fear foods. “Sometimes, just being exposed to diet culture—especially for someone with low self-esteem who questions their worth—is enough to draw them toward dieting on their own. In that case, too, any food that goes on the bad list becomes a high-fear food.” Interestingly, even the fearer herself may be under the illusion that her main concern is health, while underneath the surface is a need to maintain or reach a certain appearance. The Fear Is Here As the contributors concur, there is no one culprit that instigates an unhealthy fear toward food. However, a common theme in most food-fearers is a history of weight loss endeavors, coupled by a deep need to maintain or reach a certain weight or size. That’s a toxic mix right there. While most high-fear foods are those that are mainly or completely off-limits on most diet plans, such as chocolate or ice cream, even nutritious foods can snag a place on the list if an individual perceives that they too can wreak havoc on her weight loss goals. According to Susan, the fear often presents “as a desire to be in control, to follow various diets, and to count calories, points, or portion sizes. People who are afraid of food may use nutrition information as a weapon. They’re preoccupied with rules, deprivation, restriction, and willpower.” The fear, says Shira, “exhibits in the head, in the body, and in the emotional realm. Intellectually, a woman will have a mental list of forbidden or fearful foods. The foods 86

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she avoids or is scared of are so ingrained in her, she can repeat the list in her sleep! Physiologically, a woman’s body may feel tense, which can manifest as tightness in her chest, a choking feeling in the throat, a heaviness inside her stomach, or perhaps her heart racing when she’s around her trigger foods. Sometimes it’s much more subtle, and the individual is not consciously aware of these types of physical sensations, or she even feels no sensation, going numb around her triggers.” And then, of course, there’s the emotional aspect. “Women often experience anxiety, frustration, uneasiness, and even panicky sensations around their feared foods,” Shira asserts, “or even while thinking about them.” The Repercussions The repercussions of this fear, of course, are devastating. First, says Susan, they actually lead to more cravings for the foods labeled “bad” or “unhealthy,” feeding into the self-fulfilling prophecy. “When you finally give in, you’re more likely to overeat, proving that you are incapable of listening to your body wisdom. So back you go to dieting and restriction. You’re stuck in a pattern: Restrict. Eat. Repent. Repeat.” In her practice, Shira has observed how this fear negatively impacts women in one or more of four ways. Ironically, the first is weight gain. “If we’re scared to eat a certain type of food, we sometimes ‘make up’ for this fear by eating more of other ‘permitted’ foods. For example, a client told me that she avoided a dessert because it had sugar, yet she ended up bingeing on popcorn and chips.” A second consequence is a dysregulated nervous system. “Any type of fear or anxiety,” Shira explains, “is considered a form of stress. Stress puts our body into a fight-or-flight mode, triggering the release of chemicals and hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. These substances impact digestion, weight, and metabolism and put our body in the opposite of a calm and regulated state of being. This creates a vicious cycle, where a woman wants to soothe her nervous system and habitually turns to food.” Of course, this fear also gives way to a plethora of negative emotions. “Guilt, shame, and negative self-judgment

9 Signs a “Healthy Lifestyle” May Be Jeopardizing Your Wellbeing

You’ve lost touch with your own hunger/satiety cues, meticulously following a plan without being aware of your body’s signals

You obsess over your next meal, counting down the seconds until the “allowed” mealtime approaches

You’re obsessed with the numbers on the scale, feeling severely impacted by even minimal losses or gains

You feel intensely deprived watching others enjoy your “forbidden” foods

You’re excessively more irritable when you’re on a “healthy” diet

You’re excessively more food-minded when you’re on a “healthy” diet

You harbor a fear of fats— even healthy fats, and/or carbs—even healthy carbs

You feel that you’re “bad” or “good” depending on your food choices

You consider an extra fruit or vegetable a “cheat”

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are hallmark emotions in women who struggle with food fears,” says Shira. “Common refrains I hear are: ‘I wish I didn’t have to be so scared of food…it feels like it’s overtaking my life.’ ‘It’s pathetic that I can’t keep any candy at home, because I’m too scared I’ll eat it all.’ ‘What will this food do to my body?’ ‘I’m embarrassed that I’m so terrified to eat this food!’” Lastly, fear of food can actually lead to a fear of social settings. “When the fear of foods is so powerful,” Shira continues, “the individual may avoid certain social settings due to social pressure and/or fear of losing self-control.” Indeed, one client admitted to Shira that she turned down

multiple Shabbos invitations for this reason. Another woman shared that she avoids most simchos because she’s afraid she’ll be triggered to eat foods that she “must” stay far away from. Avoidance of social settings is a phenomenon Gila has encountered in her practice, as well. “The repercussions vary from person to person, but they can be incredibly damaging to the point where an individual will totally seclude themselves from family and friends. They don’t want to go out with friends for fear of a lack of control of what they can or can’t eat,” Gila notes. “I personally struggled with this as a teenager, and I know how it takes over almost all

Fear-Based Reframe Shira Savit’s practical tool for helping women overcome their fears around food

Fear Based

Fear less

“I’ll break out in acne from eating this food.”

“It’s not proven that this food causes acne. I will try to be more gentle with myself and recognize that stress could be causing my acne and not specifically this food.”

“You will lose control with food.”

“Hashem is in control; I’m not. I’ll surrender to Him and ask Him to heal and strengthen all my relationships, including the one with food.”

“If I have one cookie, I will have twenty.”

“I can check in with my hunger and fullness levels, and trust my body to tell me when I’ve had enough.”

“If I have carbs now, I will end up eating junk food the whole day and ruin my diet.”

“I’m going to take it one moment at a time and remind myself that I will always be able to make my own choices.”

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On that evening, it was a jelly ring that Elisheva was afraid of. But when she sat down and pondered which other foods felt frightening to her, she realized it was “anything that’s not on my food plan."

of your brain space. It can be hard to think about anything else when you’re so calorically deprived or deprived of everyday joys. All of this is such a stress on mental health.” Banishing the Monster With the repercussions of this irrational food fear so clearly devastating, how can an individual who’s stuck in this place move on to develop a healthy relationship with food? For Susan, the short answer is mindful eating tools. “These tools,” she says, “guide people on a journey to overcoming their fear and getting out of this cycle. Our relationship with food is a powerful and fascinating doorway to transformation. First, I help individuals understand why they eat. Although the body needs food for fuel and pleasure, many of us have learned to eat for other reasons. We may have developed habits that served us in the past but are no longer in line with our present values. “Next, I teach people to recognize the signals of physical hunger. We knew them when we were infants; we ate when we were physically hungry and stopped when we were satisfied. We can find those signals again and reclaim them. We can ask ourselves, ‘Am I hungry?’ whenever we

want to eat. “If we’re not physically hungry but want to eat anyway, we can always do that. If we don’t want to, mindful eating tools can help us figure out how to cope with head hunger and cravings. When we’re hungry, we can eat what we love; when we’re bored, we can do something we love; when we’re lonely, we can connect with someone we love; when we’re sad, we can remember that we are loved.” And what if we choose to eat, but we’re afraid of the weight gain that will ensue? “Well,” says Susan, “You can learn to make the healthiest choices you can that don’t leave you feeling deprived. Make your choices based on balance, variety, and moderation. You can learn to see all foods on an equal playing field. When you’re ready, you can practice fearless eating, even mindfully eating foods you thought were bad. “In order to overeat, you need to be unaware and tune out. Mindful eating asks you to tune in and eat with intention and attention. Eat with the intention of feeling better after you have eaten than when you started. Pay attention to the food: its aroma, texture, temperature, and taste. Minimize distractions, slow down, and enjoy the experience. Set the table, light a candle, listen to relaxing music. If you are with others, enjoy their company. If you are alone, savor the peace and solitude.” And then, part of mindful eating is knowing when the meal is over. “You can learn how much food you need in order to feel satisfied, not uncomfortably full. This too is a skill that can be learned through mindful eating techniques and practice. I often tell my clients, ‘Your relationship with food isn’t about being good, it’s about feeling good.’” To Overcome the Fear Shira’s approach to helping women move past their food fears is first by helping them identify the source of fear. “For example,” she offers, “a woman who has a fear of white potatoes may have a deeper fear of getting fat. Instead of encouraging her to eat white potatoes in order to get rid of her fear, I help her work through her fear of getting fat. What’s frightening about that? What perceptions does she have about weight and how are they tied to the

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way she views herself? Similarly, a woman who’s scared of sugar, knowing that it triggers her to eat out of control, may fear losing control in a general way. This entails emotional work with support and gentle compassion while she does the difficult and deep inner work around the topic.” When Elisheva did this kind of work, exploring what lay behind her fear of food—essentially her fear of weight gain, she identified the root. “It’s really not about the food,” she courageously admits. “Rather, I realized how important it is to me that I look a certain way, and how much of my self-worth is dependent on that. Since I equate my appearance with my inner value, the thought of gaining weight—or not reaching my weight goals—is obviously very disconcerting. It’s hard not to feel good about myself. This realization is so sad, but it’s my truth.” A more practical, hands-on tool that Shira teaches her clients is called the “fear-based reframe.” “When you recognize that you’re feeling fear around a certain type of food,” she advises, “draw two columns on a piece of paper. Title one column ‘Fear-Based Thoughts,’ and the other ‘FearLess Thoughts.’ Then, challenge the fear-based thought with its opposite: a calming message rooted in trust and faith” (see sidebar for examples). Another approach Shira uses to help clients around this topic is to encourage them not to label foods as “good” or “bad.” “Instead, I teach them to connect to their body, and notice how a particular food makes them feel. When a woman becomes aware of how a food actually makes her feel, she can become empowered to make a choice based on her body’s sense of wellness rather than her head’s fear-driving factors. If a client recognizes that when she eats gluten, she has a stomachache, she can choose not to eat gluten because she wants to feel her best self, as opposed to being scared to eat gluten because it can cause weight gain. One client was scared of rice, assuming it would cause constipation. When I encouraged her to ‘try it out’ and we paid attention to everything she was eating, she was pleasantly surprised to see that rice has no effect whatsoever on her digestive system.” Open All Gates? Suppose I’ve come to realize that living in a self-con90

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structed prison, mentally drooling over the forbidden piece of cake—or fruit, for that matter—is doing more harm than good. But understanding the detrimental effects a “healthy” lifestyle may have on wellbeing is only part of the solution. Letting go of all boundaries does not yield much emotional benefit either. The hazards to physical health aside—including raised blood pressure, unhealthy weight gain, cholesterol increase, and decreased energy levels—engaging in behaviors that are self-sabotaging leaves us with a decreased sense of self-respect. “When I’m having one piece of cake after another,” admits Leah, 29, “I don’t feel good either. I can’t even taste the good flavor in it because I’m so focused on just eating, eating, eating.” In addition, a lack of boundaries may in itself jeopardize our wellbeing, which thrives on healthy regulation. Especially if our eating habits impact our appearance in a way that doesn’t impress us (regardless of whether the results are objectively negative or if it’s just the way we feel about ourselves), the repercussions of boundary-less eating can be supremely harmful to our emotional health. Gila Glassberg, who follows the Intuitive Eating approach toward helping others break free from unhealthy food fears, agrees. “The principle of what we call ‘making peace with food’—unconditional permission to eat—gets the most airtime and is most misunderstood. I always caution people to handle this principle with care. You may not be ready for it and that’s okay. Doing it under the guidance of an Intuitive Eating counselor can be very helpful. Intuitive Eating Coach Rena Reiser advised me to teach this principle last since it inevitably feels less scary once you feel a sense of trust in the rest of the intuitive eating journey. That really helped me with my clients as well.” How does the process work? “I encourage the individual to make a list of all of their fear foods, and to consider where the fear comes from. Sometimes, I’ll ask, ‘What is your earliest childhood memory around food?’ Even from that conversation I can observe a client’s relief because they begin to see the timeline of how their relationship with food evolved. We discuss this relationship so they can see why chips or even fruit have become so frightening to them.

But It Works! “Once they feel ready, we begin to habituate to each food, one by one. The theory behind this is that new things excite us. This novelty wears off and that’s a normal part of life. But when we diet, we put forbidden food on a pedestal. We ‘fall off the wagon’ and eat the forbidden food again, telling ourselves how addicted and out of control we are. Up goes that food right back on the pedestal and we desire it so badly, it becomes a novelty all over again. If we’d eat chips every day, we wouldn’t feel an intense pull to them. It wouldn’t give us that deep sense of pleasure we get from eating something we never get to eat. “In fact, many people who allow themselves to get to this place begin to feel sad that food, which was once so precious in their eyes is just that—food. Some may need extra support because this obsessive thinking about food has really blocked them from feeling. Now that they’ve stopped obsessing over food, they’re starting to feel their feelings more intensely. On top of that, they don’t have their food to help them through it because, well, food is no big deal. But if we zoom out of this scenario for a moment, we notice how therapeutic and healing it is. Feeling our feelings is a wonderful thing. We don’t heal until we feel, and unfortunately, being stuck in the diet culture can keep us far away from this place.” Gila relates that many clients who had feared the classic non-diet foods like pasta, pizza, and fries and then went through this process reported that this was the first time they didn’t lick their plates clean. “They knew the pasta or pizza was available whenever they wanted, and it didn’t feel good to just keep eating. Others reported that they went to a restaurant and ordered a salad because that’s actually what they wanted. This can feel shocking for someone who’s been accustomed to craving the pizza on the menu for years. For others, the victory is going on a family outing and being able to get the pizza when everyone else is eating salad.” Of course, Gila notes, this approach does not encourage disregarding our health and eating pasta and pizza all day. “Instead, it’s to work on allowing all foods to fit, no matter what size you are; no matter what you were told about your body when you were five or ten or twenty; no matter if no one else can accept you in a non-dieting

What if you’re currently following a food plan and it works for you? Even if you’re experiencing weight loss, and possibly other benefits to your physical health, such as increased energy and better sleep, it’s always important to take the whole person into account. “Okay, so the ‘plan’ works,” says Elisheva. “Now the question is, what do you consider success? Weight loss? Check. Even increased energy. But what about the nefesh? What’s going on internally? Of course, boundaries are important, even critical, to wellbeing. But the question always is, at what cost? Do you feel locked in, imprisoned by the guidelines? “Personally,” she asserts, “I see the food-addict approach as a disservice to most. Those few months that I was in touch with a nutritionist who deemed me an addict for life completely wrecked my relationship with food. I’d known before that I needed more boundaries with food and that I was and always will be a food lover, but those coaching sessions impressed upon me, in my psyche, that I simply can’t be trusted around food, that veering even a tiny bit off my plan would spell doom and disaster—forever. Do you realize what that does to one’s wellbeing? Even if I’ve had periods where I’ve tried to listen to my body’s cues, it’s an arduous process for me because I have a litany of voices in my head making sure to let me know that it’s simply not something I’ll ever succeed at.” The more we build up the belief in our ability to make wise choices and the more we allow ourselves to watch that happen, the more liberated we become. While maintaining boundaries regarding our eating—and all areas of life—is also crucial to wellbeing, we want to feel invigorated and content when we’re in those limits.

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Been There Tales from the Trenches While food fears usually revolve around foods that are deemed “fattening”—high in carbs or high in sugar—many individuals also harbor fears of “healthy” foods. Shira shares an example. “I was in a session with a client, and we were discussing meal planning. In listing some late-morning snack options, I suggested whole-grain rice cakes with natural nut butter. ‘Rice cakes?!’ The woman cried, incredulous. Then she said, ‘Shira, I have not eaten rice cakes for seven years. I thought they’re a horrible choice. Years ago, a nutritionist told me that they’re “empty” carbs, and that I should always avoid them at all costs. Since then, I’ve abstained.’ “When I asked her what she binges on at night, the woman smiled and said, ‘Oh, carbs. Many, many carbs. The really bad ones.’” Then Shira asked her how she’d feel about having one rice cake the next day. “I guess I could try. It’s funny, because I actually love rice cakes, but I never knew I was allowed to eat them.” “It’s your body here,” Shira said to her. “You are in charge.” The next week, the woman reported that she brought two rice cakes with a spoonful of peanut butter to work every day, and that she felt such a difference in her energy level. She liked that she was able to make choices based on her preferences—especially those choices she’d been afraid to make all those years. Tehilla, 41, relates that she was scared of grains, including quinoa, brown rice, buckwheat, and millet. “If it’s a grain,” she would think, “I won’t have

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any portion control.” When Shira gave her a mini nutrition course on the differences between various carbohydrates and their health benefits, especially of gluten-free whole-grain carbohydrates, Tehilla was already calmer. She realized that not all grains are created equal, and when she started introducing gluten-free grains to her diet, she found that her late-afternoon snacking was dramatically reduced. Gitty, 27, grew up in a home where there was constant dieting and certain foods were repeatedly demonized. When she was 16, she joined her mother on the OA (Overeaters Anonymous) diet. Until today, she still has a fear of white flour and white sugar. She then continued to diet for several years afterward, and since each diet had different criteria and “allowed” or denied different foods, the list of foods she was afraid of only grew. She relates, “Some diets warned against bananas and mangos because of their high sugar content. Some diets advised to use sweeteners only, and some allowed no sweetener at all. Some diets had me eat lots of onions and milk, and some said no onions and no dairy. Today, I’m even afraid of eating food I like—especially carbs—because in my brain, carbs are a pretty fearful food. Since I like those foods a lot, my fear is even stronger: What if I overeat?” “I really believe that the worst part is not the demonizing of sugar or flour, though that definitely shouldn’t be done,” says Brachi, 33. “The worst part is when people advise others not to eat different food groups. There is a place for all nutritious foods—even all kosher foods! Telling people not to eat too much broccoli, or starch, or fruit, instead of telling them how to listen to their body leads to food fear as opposed to nourishment.”

They don’t want to go out with friends for fear of a lack of control of what they

Bariatric Surgery to her training. “Based on my personal transformation, I decided to give over what I have been learning to others who are interested in healing their relationship with food and body image,” she shares.

can or can’t eat. Healed Forever?

body. It’s about seeing how much more life has to offer you outside of restrictive eating.” All That Energy! Without a doubt, harboring fear around and obsessing over food expends a lot of our energy. What happens to all that energy once the fear is thankfully out of the way? “Your fear of food will quiet down,” says Susan, “and now you can use your energy to do what you love. Once you learn to trust the wisdom of your body, you will understand that food is only food, and you can learn to trust and nourish yourself without restriction.” Sharing her personal experience on this journey, Susan relates, “I began to struggle with my own relationship with food and body image at age 16. In order to feel in control of my life, I set out to control the only thing I could—food. I discovered diet culture and dove in headfirst. I don’t believe you can name a diet that I haven’t tried. And failed. Here was my plan: Hear about a diet, buy the book and follow the rules, shop for foods I don’t necessarily like, follow the plan from Monday to Thursday, feel deprived and binge Friday through Sunday on all the foods I love. Then find a new diet and start over again. And over again. No carbs, low carbs, carb lovers, cabbage soup, the Zone, South Beach, Weight Watchers, and on and on. Fast forward 35 years. I read a book called The Slow Down Diet, by Marc David. And I said to myself, ‘Wait a minute! What I eat is not the only thing that matters?’” From that turning point, Susan pursued her studies at the Institute for the Psychology of Eating, and she discovered that freedom from diet culture, rules, restriction, and willpower was possible. She later added a specialty in Mindful Eating for

Once an individual chooses to acknowledge their fear of food and tackle the issue, does the monster get buried forever? “Like any type of recovery,” Susan offers, “overcoming fear of food takes time, especially if you’ve been affected by diet culture for many years. It takes time to feel comfortable when you stop restricting yourself and believe that all foods fit. It takes time to reassure your body that it will be fed regularly, and that you can trust your body wisdom to tell you when and what you need to eat. This is not something that can be done perfectly or all at once. You can practice loving and honoring your body as you transform your relationship with food.” Shira has found that when clients invest in deep inner work around their fear of food, they come to a place of healing and growth. “A fear of food can truly transform into trust and belief in oneself,” she observes. “As with all relationships, our relationship with food is one that we can constantly keep working on and in which we can experience more and more continued growth.” When we approach our eating and view of ourselves from a healthy perspective—recognizing that, as women, we want to look good and feel good—we begin to make food choices that reflect that. And when we choose to nurture our health and wellness, not from a place of self-loathing or fear, but because we care about the vessel that holds the neshamah, this is what enables us to truly live. It’s a cycle in which self-respect breeds more self-respect, encouraging positive habits and practices that enable us to feel more self-respect. Overcoming unhealthy fear of food, Gila asserts, “can be a long process, but it’s not linear. One can fully heal, but I don’t like to set that as a goal because we are all humans trying to do the best we can. Why put that type of pressure on ourselves? We’re in charge of our hishtadlus and Hashem controls the outcome; our focus is on what we can work on, and then to daven for healing.”

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INNER PARENTING

Why Do I Dread “Individual Time” with My Child? The secret to improving our parenting often lies in our discomfort Last month’s article on parenting hacks garnered considerable feedback, especially regarding tip #4, which encouraged spending ten minutes of individual time with every child. Below are two letters we received on the topic, followed by a response.

Dear Shiffy Friedman, As a fellow parent, I read your article on parenting hacks with much interest, as I’m always seeking ways to foster a stronger connection with my children. I especially appreciated the “individual time” tip as I understood the potential benefits this practice could offer, both for myself and my children, knowing that they have an allotted time every day when they’re the exclusive focus of my attention. With this in mind, I got straight into implementing the tip—right before bedtime. However, I found that our time together wasn’t as grand as I thought it would be. To be honest, I feel quite edgy when I spend time alone with each child, silently counting down the minutes until I can give them a kiss and say good night. I don’t mind spending time as a family, or even having a conversation with one child on their own, but the idea that I’m bound for these ten minutes just doesn’t feel good to me. I would really appreciate if you can explore this phenomenon in an upcoming column. With much gratitude in advance,

F.P.

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Dear Shiffy Friedman, I thoroughly enjoy your insightful writings in every issue. I’d like to share my viewpoint regarding one tip that was offered in the parenting hacks article—giving each child ten minutes of individual time. Having been blessed with a large family, I’ve found that when trying to put this tip—which I heard many years ago—into practice, it either left me feeling like a failure, or like I’d accomplished something I could now check off my list, but deep down, if I was very honest with myself, I felt like I was in a prison during that time. I finally discussed it with a mechanech who explained to me that I had it all wrong. A mother is a mother for a child 24/7. No matter where she is, no matter what she is doing, and if a mother really believes it, the child feels it. By narrowing down our time together to ten minutes, we may subconsciously convey a frightening message to the child: that he has a mother for all of ten minutes a day. A mother’s love, care, and feelings are exponentially more than the ten minutes apportioned to the child. Personally, this approach liberated me, and I have since adopted that mindset. Often, I’ll spend way more than ten minutes of quality time with each child, but not in a designated check-off-the-list style; rather, from a free-flowing, willing, and loving place. Mothers need to be coached to understand that it’s not about the ten minutes; it’s that they are the whole world to their child. The idea of having to spend ten minutes of quality time with each child injects most mothers with either pressure (poison for Jewish mothers) or guilt. That’s besides the fact that something we do because that’s what the rule book says—in a mechanical manner, without the true feeling of love and enjoyment—seeps through to our children and facilitates the opposite of love. I hope this viewpoint can be shared with the readers so they can continue to parent free of guilt and full of love.

M.G.

Shiffy Friedman responds: Thank you for your positive feedback and thought-provoking responses. I found it interesting that you chose to highlight this particular parenting hack because it brought up memories for me of when I first learned this at Rebbetzin Spetner’s class many years ago and experienced a similar reaction. I remember thinking, “What good will it do for my child if I follow some rules in a guidebook, if I really wish I were somewhere else right now?” But before I address this aspect that both questions draw attention to, I’d like to focus on the other points made by the second letter-writer, M.G. For clarity’s sake, I will divide my response into three parts. First, regarding the role of an ideal mother, you are 100 percent cor-

rect. A mother is a mother 24 hours a day, seven days a week. She feels her child even when he isn’t in her presence, constantly thinking about him and connecting to him either in person or in her thoughts and feelings. To downsize such a relationship to only ten minutes a day and turn it into a checklist ritual would seem criminal, depriving the child of the wealth of love he craves for. It would be like instructing a serious Torah learner to learn only ten minutes a day, as if that’s all that is needed for this holy endeavor. But that is not what this tip is suggesting. Spending these ten minutes focusing exclusively on one child, as advised by Rebbetzin Spetner, does not imply that the parent is not there for the child in the other hours as well. In a healthy relationship, dedicating time specifically to one child

does not detract from the parent being there for him the rest of the day, as well. A healthy parent understands that this is not a means to “get it over with,” and conveniently shut themselves off from the child for the remainder of the day. Thus, for a mother like the one described above, who is anyway in a very loving place and completely dedicated to her child’s wellbeing, this practice should not detract from the relationship. On the contrary, it deepens the bond. Perhaps we can compare it to a talmid chacham who, in addition to learning Torah around the clock, also allocates ten minutes a day to learning a particular mussar sefer. This practice does not detract from the connection to Torah he exhibits all day long. Another advantage of allocating

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INNER PARENTING

ten minutes a day per child is that as much as we’d like to give them all the time in the world, on many days we may find ourselves too overwhelmed with the daily tasks to actually be there for them. Realistically speaking, it’s impossible for us to be fully engaged in conversation, a game, a book, etc., all hours of the day, so this is simply a technical tip to ensure that the child receives at least ten minutes of our undivided attention through an enjoyable, pleasant interaction. Setting aside a bite-sized amount of time to connect to our children, truly and fully, makes this individual time possible and gives the child a sense of security that, come what may, my mother will be there for me, hear me out, look me in the eye, and express her love for me. It’s simply a practical tool to enable the connection to happen, as opposed to waiting around for the day “when I’ll have more time” to give this child my all. Just because I’m constantly there for my child doesn’t mean I can’t also designate ten minutes of time to him in a more direct manner. It’s simply a realistic medium through which to exhibit the positive feelings I experience toward him. It’s a very specific slot of time that the child comes to rely on as “my special time with Mommy.” What can be better for fostering the child’s emotional development and sense of security? It certainly can’t do any harm.  What about mothers for whom the relationship with their child is not at the ideal described above? What if the mother is very much a human being—like all of us—and she can’t always be fully present to her children? Most mothers who exercise self-awareness may realize that no, it is not possible for them to be fully engaged in their child’s life 24/7. Besides for being blessed with other children, baruch Hashem, they may have various responsibilities that demand their attention. As much as 96

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they care about their children all the time, and their parenting takes up the uppermost space in their mind and heart, they admit that they can’t be exclusively focused on one child all day, every day. In addition, for many women, past experiences, often dating back to their childhood, don’t allow them to be fully present at all times. They may have a hard time focusing, they may have a hard time feeling connected to their child, or they may find it challenging to keep giving, giving, giving around

Especially if we have high expectations of ourselves as parents, individual time may become even more challenging. the clock. Even if the essence of a mother is “a being who’s always there for her children,” life circumstances cause many mothers to be unable to be present for their children at all times. I believe all the mothers I’ve gotten to know, both personally and in my work with women, can relate to this reality. (For such parents, it is precisely the unattainable ideals described in the letter that facilitate negative emotions like guilt and feeling like a failure.) So what is the solution for such parents? We know that if want to facilitate change, we’ve got to start somewhere. Starting out small, set-

ting a realistic expectation, is the first step. Acharei hapeulos nimshachos halevavos. The heart is pulled in the direction of the deeds, says the Chinuch. This passage teaches us that instead of waiting for the day when we’ll be that “good person,” we should start engaging in acts that “good people” do. Give some tzedakah every day. Do one kind deed. In circumstances that we don’t feel, for example, intense love or patience for our children, by starting out with an actual deed that exhibits love, we’re making a head start in fostering, or awakening, these positive emotions in our heart. These “baby steps” are what will eventually stir these feelings, bringing them forth during the other hours of the day, as well. The concept of machsom lefi is a great example of this phenomenon. A participant in the program chooses one hour a day to be particularly vigilant with their positive speech. This doesn’t mean they give themselves the go-ahead to engage in negative speech during the remainder of the day. Rather, by choosing to concentrate on this particular mitzvah with more focus, they hope their vigilance will carry over to the other hours as well. By designating ten minutes of individual time every day with a desire to be there for our child, both mother and child can benefit from a deepened relationship and a more emotionally satisfying bond.  But what happens when a mother doesn’t feel all this love and connection during the individual time she spends with her child? The letters above describe the two main issues parents may have regarding this practice. The first is a general feeling of discomfort when implementing this practice, where the parent silently wishes for the ten-minute timer to go off. For such a parent, it’s easy

to come up with a list of logical reasons to write the practice off as impractical, unrealistic, etc., but if our goal is to truly and thoroughly develop a bond with our children, we will have to look inward and face the emotions that come up for us during this time. What is it that triggers this “prison-like” feeling? What is it that would cause a mother to feel that she’s forced to spend time with her own child? If it were something I enjoyed, something I looked forward to, I wouldn’t be anxious to “get this over with.” In other words, feeling the way I do during this time indicates that I’m in a state of resistance right now. Something doesn’t feel good to me. A good question to ask ourselves would be, “What is it about this time that is making me feel uncomfortable?” To answer this question, self-awareness is the most vital component. This is similar to the concept of allocating a date night/afternoon with one’s spouse. Those who argue against it may provide logical reasons but often, what really lies beneath the antagonism is an uncomfortable emotion that may surface during this time together. Does it highlight my aloneness, my discomfort in my spouse’s presence? Does taking this “baby step” force me to acknowledge where our relationship is at? These are questions only we can answer for ourselves. The same is true with spending individual time with our children. The discomfort we may experience often emanates directly from an unpleasant emotion that surfaces during this time. Am I feeling like a failure as a mother? Distant from or resentful toward my child? Wiped out from giving? Guilty about my parenting? Whatever it may be, the feeling— which subconsciously builds a barrier between us and our child— is not new. It’s not the individual time

that created this feeling; rather, it brought it to the fore. It’s this specific window of time that serves as a mirror for us in regard to our parenting. All day long, I don’t have to face this place, but now, by being “forced” to be with my child, I have no choice but to notice it. By taking these “baby steps,” I’m forced to acknowledge where I’m at with my parenting, and it might be a place I’d prefer not to be. Especially if we have high expectations of ourselves as parents, individual time may become even more challenging. The illusion of where we wish we were at makes it hard for us to face our reality, often hindering us from actually moving out of our current place. It’s like the individual who prefers to see himself as someone who never speaks lashon hara, only to find that the short slot of machsom lefi is so arduous for him. It’s his resistance to the place he’s at that garners such discomfort. By acknowledging that “Yes, this is where I’m at,” he’ll find that his resistance decreases significantly, allowing for improvement in this area. For mothers who appreciate selfgrowth and development, feeling the resistance to taking baby steps in parenting is the perfect opportunity to address the issue. Not only is admitting to feeling unpleasant emotions cathartic and relieving, it also facilitates an incredible improvement. Awareness is the greatest catalyst for change. It’s only after I admit where I’m at, without engaging in self-criticism, that I’m able to move forward. Thus, choosing to give our children individual time every day despite knowing that uncomfortable feelings may arise is choosing the path of emotional growth. It’s choosing to face what comes up for us so we can become more self-aware, more giving, and more loving at the end of

the day. Regarding the second issue that parents may have with this practice– of feeling like they’re just “following the rules” and adhering to a checklist without really experiencing the benefits of this time– it’s important to mention a technical point first. Often, a practice becomes a burden because the individual feels chained to it. While spending ten minutes of time with our child on a daily basis certainly has its merits, knowing that it’s not set in stone, that on hectic days or times when we don’t feel up to it it’s perfectly okay to “let it go,” is key in ensuring both our and our child’s benefits. Also, we can choose to spend these ten minutes in a way that works for us, such as while cooking or shopping, with one child at our side. Even bathtime with a focus on one child fits the bill. From an emotional perspective, when a parent works through the way they feel regarding their parenting and/or their child, they probably won’t find this practice to feel prescribed, contrived, or rigid. Just as a husband and wife who want to spend time in each other’s company won’t feel that they’re ticking off a checklist on a date night, a mother who connects to the place in herself that wants to be there for her child won’t feel like she’s following a rule either. While there is no one technique or intervention that serves as a barometer for our parenting, and every parent should intuitively find the path toward connection that works for them and their child, it’s always a good idea to exercise self-awareness and take note of which aspects of our parenting can benefit from improvement. With a desire to be the best parents we can be, to give to our children and ourselves what only we can, may all of us merit experiencing a fulfilling, positive connection to our children.

In her practice as an LMSW, Shiffy Friedman realized that her knowledge in psychology was not helpful in healing the infinitely profound nefesh. An intensive search led her to discover the Torah’s direction toward a more connected life. To sign up to receive Shiffy’s weekly message on this subject, write to emotionalwellnessthroughTorah@gmail.com.

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WELLBEING FEATURE

The most awarded Israeli winery in international wine competitions

www.eldadshaw.co.il

PRECIOUS METALS THAT ALWAYS OUTPERFORM THE MARKET

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* Won the most Gold & Double Gold medals in competitions 2008-2020

JANUARY 2022 / SHEVAT 5782 / ISSUE 72

FEAST ON FRUITS ENJOY THE SEASON'S BOUNTY THIS TU B'SHEVAT

NEW COLUMN! CULINARY TOOLBOX

FRUIT FOCUS 7 WAYS TO INCORPORATE FRUITS INTO YOUR DIET

120 Fruit Power By Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

124 Energize By Elky Friedman

105 Flavored with Fruit By Yossi & Malky Levine

115 NEW COLUMN!

Culinary Toolbox By Charnie Kohn

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126 That's My Fruit! Wellspring Contributors

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EDITOR'S NOTE

Dear Cooks,

As we were preparing the content for this issue’s Seasoned, we were contemplating how much space to give the Tu B’Shevat meals, which take place on only one day this month. After all, there’s a limit to how many dishes we can prepare (and consume!) on this one day that celebrates the rebirth of the trees. But as the contributors sent in their submissions and we leaned more toward a variety of Tu B’Shevat options, I realized that as much as this is our Tu B’Shevat issue, there’s never a time when a fresh, beautiful, and eye-catching array of fruits is not welcome in our menu. Packed with nutrients, rich in flavor, and oh so appealing to the eye, fruits are a vital and appreciated part of our diet all year long. So, whether you choose to serve the Levines’ Sesame Crusted Ahi Tuna in Balsamic Pomegranate Reduction,

Charnie’s Crunchy Waldorf Salad with Creamy Citrus Dressing, Elky’s Layered Fruit Trifles, or any other dish from the selection of recipes in the pages that follow, you’ll certainly benefit from the rich flavor and impressive nutrient content—be it at your Tu B’Shevat meal or any time during the year. In this issue, I’m excited to introduce you to Charnie Kohn’s new column, Culinary Toolbox, where she’ll be featuring a kitchen gadget that can help you create nourishing meals with more precision, efficiency, and/or appeal. This month, she shows us how to maximize the humble julienne peeler to create two fabulous dishes. I love using this handy gadget to dress up the simplest salad, peeling fresh carrots and cucumbers and stacking them in a pile. The gorgeous ribbons it creates make for an appealing dish, time and again.

To a season of growth for all,

Esther

DED COOKS!

SEASONED CONTEST

LTH-MIN CALLING ALL HEA

If whipping up nutritious dishes is your passion and you have what it takes to serve as a recipe contributor, this may be your chance to share your culinary expertise with fellow Seasoned readers. To join our upcoming contest, write to info@wellspringmagazine.com with Seasoned Contest as the subject. Tell us about your healthy cooking experience, and we’ll get back to you with more details.

WELLBEING FEATURE

PARVE

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o r v e a d l wi F t Since Tu B’Shevat is all about the renewal of the trees and all things growing, we decided to experiment cooking with fruit in savory dishes. We tried keeping the recipes simple, with a focus on sophisticated and impressive plating (no worries, a step-by-step guide accompanies the recipes). We were very pleased with the results of these combinations and we’re hoping you’ll enjoy them too.

All the best, Yossi and Malky

Recipes, Styling, and Photography by Yossi & Malky Levine

ruit hf

How would you like to try a unique dinner dish in honor of Tu B’Shevat?

FLAVORED WITH FRUIT

Berry Blast Sous Vide Chicken Breast With the hype surrounding sous vide cooking, we decided to give it a shot. We’re amazed at how perfectly and clean it cooks, and we must admit that we’ve never tasted a chicken breast that was so juicy and tender. The berry coulis and cashew puree elevate this dish to a whole new level of flavor combinations. It’s these little add-ons that make this dish so unique.

2 Tbsp olive oil 4 whole chicken breasts 1 tsp salt 2 tsp garlic powder 2–4 sprigs fresh herbs, like rosemary or thyme 1–2 Tbsp paprika Honey 2 Tbsp oil, for frying

Fill a pot or heat-resistant container halfway with warm water. Preheat sous vide precision cooker to 146.5ºF. Brush or rub olive oil evenly over both sides of chicken breasts. Season with salt and garlic powder. Place chicken breasts in a 1-gallon Ziploc bag along with fresh herbs. Vacuum seal or use a straw to blow out as much air as possible from bag. Place bag into water and let cook for 3 hours.

Wild Berry Coulis 2 cups frozen mixed berries or blueberries (If using blueberries, add 2 Tbsp lemon juice) ⅓ cup water ¼ cup honey

Discard herbs, remove chicken breasts, and pat dry with paper towels. Coat chicken with paprika and drizzle with honey. Heat a medium skillet over high heat until hot. Add oil and chicken breasts. Cook 1 minute per side, or until nicely browned and caramelized. Cut chicken down the center, lengthwise.

Cashew Puree 1 cup cashews ½ cup almond milk ¼ cup roasted garlic ¼ cup garlic oil (from roasted garlic)

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For the berry coulis, add all ingredients to a small saucepan and bring to a boil. Remove from heat and blend until smooth. For cashew puree, add all ingredients to a food processor and blend for 5–10 minutes until a very smooth consistency is achieved.

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FLAVORED WITH FRUIT

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1. Spoon a heaping tablespoon of berry coulis, off-centered, onto the plate.

2. Use back of a spoon to gently bang down on the sauce so it splatters on the entire plate. Repeat until desired results are achieved.

3. Place chicken on sauce, separating the two halves, as seen in the photo.

4. Add a few sprigs of fresh rosemary to the chicken. Spoon a tablespoon of cashew puree near the chicken.

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5. Use back of a small spoon to create a small well in the puree.

6. Fill well with garlic oil from the roasted garlic and sprinkle several springs of chopped parsley over it.

7. Scatter blueberries for garnish.

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FLAVORED WITH FRUIT

Sesame Crusted Ahi Tuna in Balsamic Pomegranate Reduction Seared ahi tuna is one of our favorite foods. We sometimes serve it over a salad or just as is. This rich pomegranate glaze definitely adds a great kick of flavor to the tuna.

1–2 lbs tuna, cut into 1½-inch triangular strips

Use a paper towel to pat tuna dry.

2 Tbsp shoyu sauce (or soy sauce), optional

Moisten tuna on all sides with soy sauce. This will help the sesame spice adhere to the tuna.

Sesame Crust

Mix sesame crust ingredients together on a flat plate and press each tuna strip into mixture until fully coated on all sides.

½ cup white sesame seeds ½ cup black sesame seeds 2 tsp kosher salt 2 tsp freshly cracked black pepper 2 tsp sugar Pomegranate Reduction 2 cups pomegranate juice ½ cup balsamic vinegar 2 Tbsp honey

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Heat a cast-iron skillet over medium-high heat, until very hot. (When pan is hot, a splash of water should sizzle loudly.) Once skillet is hot, add oil to coat pan. Carefully lay tuna in pan, pressing down into skillet with a metal/wooden spatula. Sear for 20–30 seconds, checking underneath by lifting one corner to check if golden color has been achieved. If golden, carefully flip over. Sear other sides until golden. Place tuna on a cutting board, let rest for 1–2 minutes, then use a sharp knife to slice thinly.

1 Tbsp tapioca starch diluted (optional)

Add all glaze ingredients to a small saucepan and bring to a boil.

Garnish Pomegranate seeds

Reduce heat to medium-low. Add starch and stir until juices become foamy. Let reduce to about half, until a syrup consistency is achieved.

Edible flowers

Remove from heat and set aside to cool.

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1. Spoon a tablespoon of the glaze on the top right of the plate.

2. Using a pastry brush, drag down from the top of sauce to create a brushstroke effect

3. Arrange tuna slices in a fanned strip, alongside the glaze, covering a bit of the glaze.

4. Scatter several pomegranate arils on the glaze and off to the right side. Then use edible flowers or sprouts to garnish, as seen in the photo.

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@BARTENURABLUE

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HEART.WORKS

Have your Soup and Supper too. Super-simple to pack and prep, Knorr Instant Soup Packets are flavorful and authentic. Perfect for an instant tide-me-over, pick-me-up, or nutritious snack, they’ve just the right amount of pep to keep you fueled on the go, on the job, and beyond.

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We'rieng workit! on

CULINARY TOOLBOX

NEW COLUMN

It’s no news that the quicker, easier, and more efficient we make our cooking, the more pleasurable it becomes. And if we’re intent on whipping up nutritious meals for ourselves and our loved ones, certain kitchen gadgets can come to great use in helping us achieve our kitchen (and nutrition) goals. In this space, we’ll explore one culinary tool each month, along with two fabulous recipes that use them. If there’s a particular culinary tool you’d like to learn more about or experiment with in your kitchen, let me know about it. We’ll get gadgeting together!

TOOL OF THE MONTH: THE JULIENNE PEELER The julienne cut is widely popular in the culinary world, especially for produce prep. Excellent knife skills are required to cut produce into perfect uniform matchsticks, and the julienne peeler allows the same precision without the training. Since the julienne peeler is like a regular peeler but with serrated teeth,

all you need is the same skills that are required when peeling any fruit or vegetable. Drag the gadget across the vegetable, and you’ll be left with perfect ribbons. With a less-than-tendollar purchase, it’s time to become a master chef in your own kitchen.

Charnie

Recipes, Styling, and Photography by Charnie Kohn

WITH CREAMY CITRUS DRESSING

CRUNCHY WALDORF SALAD

CULINARY TOOLBOX

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Crunchy, seasonal, and textured, this salad makes for a great addition to your Tu B’Shevat meal. The dressing is the highlight of this dish. It’s creamy, sweet, tangy, and an overall party on your palate.

Salad: 4 Honey Crisp apples 4 stalks celery ½ daikon radish 2 cups grapes 1 cup walnuts Creamy Citrus Dressing: 4 Tbsp lite mayonnaise Juice of 1 orange 1 tsp honey ½ tsp salt ½ tsp garlic powder Pinch black pepper

Use a julienne peeler to shred apples, celery, and radish. Quarter the grapes and toast the walnuts at 350°F for 10 minutes. Combine all dressing ingredients and mix well. Dress salad right before serving.

SPAGHETTI

EGGPLANT & ZUCCHINI

CULINARY TOOLBOX

As a lunch or a light dinner, this low-carb dish is always a good idea to add to the menu. Of course, we won’t pretend vegetables actually taste like spaghetti, but they sure make a great alternative.

1 eggplant 2 tsp salt, divided 1 squash 1 Tbsp oil 1½ cups tomato sauce ½ cup shredded cheese ½ tsp garlic powder ½ tsp oregano ¼ tsp crushed red pepper flakes ⅛ tsp black pepper

Using a julienne peeler, shred eggplant and season with 1 teaspoon salt. Allow to sit for 20 minutes, then use a paper towel to squeeze out extra moisture. Using a julienne peeler, shred zucchini until you reach the core. Heat oil over medium-high heat. Add shredded eggplant and sauté for 2 minutes. Add in zucchini and sauté until limp, but not mushy. Pour tomato sauce and rest of ingredients into pan. Cook until cheese is fully melted. Serve immediately. Note: To serve this “spaghetti” as a pareve side dish, omit cheese. For a fleishig main dish, substitute cheese with ½ lb ground chicken or meat, crumbled, and sauté until fully cooked through.

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TIDBITS

FRUIT FOCUS

By Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

High in fiber, water, antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals, fruit is an essential part of a generally healthy and well-balanced diet. While a crisp, fresh piece of fruit is delicious enough, below are seven additional suggestions for incorporating fruit into your meal this Tu B’Shevat (and all year round)!

Fruit skewers Fun for kids and adults, fruit skewer assembly can be an exciting and productive activity (think fine-motor skills and patterns). The final product also can be used as a beautiful and edible centerpiece. As with all of these suggestions, the fruit choices can be customized to taste preferences and what’s in season.

Muffins/baked goods There are many ways to include fruit within baked foods. For example, applesauce can be used as an oil substitute. Also, dried (or frozen) fruit can be included to give an additional bite, chewy texture, and sweetness or tart flavor, depending on the fruit variety.

Oatmeal Whether incorporating into cold, refreshing overnight oats or wholesome hot oatmeal, adding fruit is a great way to add natural sweetness and additional nutrition. Some suggestions of fruit to include are bananas, berries, and apples.

Yogurt parfaits One of our most popular (read: easy) Thursday night dinners is a yogurt parfait bar! This assemble-it-yourself option is a fun and delicious way to focus on fruit. I find it most enjoyable when each child gets their own portion of yogurt with a few options of cut-up fruit in the middle of the table to choose from—each child can decide which fruit and how much they’d like to add to their individual yogurt!

Smoothies More popular in the warmer months, but a favorite all year round, smoothies are an excellent way to add fruit into our diet. For a basic smoothie, simply add fresh or frozen fruit of your choice into a blender, with a base such as yogurt, milk, or water. (Check out Tidbits from issue 65 for more smoothie tips!)

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TIDBITS

Including Juice in Baby’s Diet May Increase Health Risks

Within a green salad We often hear about “fruit salads,” but what about just throwing fruit into our lettuce/greensbased salad? Tossing cut-up fruit into a salad can offer an unexpected additional sweetness, color, and edge to your dish!

Shapes An exciting and creative way to present fruit is in different unique shapes. You can use a melon-ball scooper for melon and cantaloupe or explore endless possibilities with cookie cutters. Depending on the size of the fruit, you may need to use small cookie-cutter shapes. Examples of fruits that work well for this include watermelon, bananas, and pineapple.

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD, is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Self-Care Enthusiast on a mission to help women reach their ultimate health and wellbeing potential inside and out. She shares credible, clear, and inspiring nutrition information with women via her virtual private practice. To contact Esti with feedback or inquiries regarding her nutritional services, please email her at: esti@estiashernutrition. com or visit estiashernutrition.com.

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The way we feed our children may impact their health in the long term. For example, foods offered at a young age (as early as when baby starts eating solids) may impact a child’s taste preferences and food choices later in childhood. Therefore, the eating habits we encourage and the foods and drinks we offer to our babies (and all children) should be with awareness. A recent study published in Journal of Nutrition highlights the notion that the drinks offered in infancy may affect the drink consumption of the child as they get older. The study collected data from over 4,000 mothers to determine the impact of offering juice to their babies. The study, based on questionnaires, found that 25% of mothers offered juice to their baby before the age of 6 months, 49% offered juice between the ages of 6–12 months, and 26% offered juice after 12 months. (The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that fruit juice should not be introduced into an infant’s diet until he or she is at least one year old, if at all.) The study concluded that introducing juice at an earlier age was associated with an increase of juice and sugar-sweetened beverage consumption during childhood. Concerns of consuming these beverages include an increased risk of dental caries and obesity, among others.

Mediterranean Diet and Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction to Prevent SGA A baby’s small size for gestational age (SGA) at birth has been associated with both the nutritional status of the mother and her stress levels during pregnancy. A recent study published in Journal of the American Medical Association investigated how a Mediterranean diet and mindfulness-based stress-reduction program would impact women who were high risk for having babies born SGA. The study defined small for gestational age as birth weight below the tenth percentile. Both the group who received nutrition education on the Mediterranean diet (provided with free extra virgin olive oil and walnuts) and the group who received support for stress reduction experienced decreased incidences of their babies being born SGA. The Mediterranean diet includes an emphasis on fruits, vegetables, healthy fats, and whole grains. While the researchers share that these findings are preliminary and more research should be done, it is an additional reminder of the benefits of reducing stress levels and making healthy and well-balanced food choices during pregnancy (and throughout the lifecycle).

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ENERGIZE

LAYERED FRUIT

Recipe and Text by Elky Friedman Styling and Photography by Pessi Piller 124

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TRIFLES

Here’s a great way to enjoy your fresh fruit this Tu B’Shevat. Layer it up, sweeten with a sauce, and top with some added crunch! A truly refreshing dessert that looks great too.

1 bag frozen strawberries, sliced (or 1 container fresh strawberries, sliced) 1 honeydew, cubed 1 pineapple, cubed 1 cantaloupe, cubed ½ cup pomegranate arils, or 1 cup blueberries Strawberry Sauce: 1 16-oz bag frozen strawberries, partially defrosted ¼ cup orange juice 2 Tbsp honey 2 Tbsp vanilla sugar (optional) Crumb Topping: 2 cups Rice Krispies ¾ cup ground walnuts or pecans ½ cup coconut sugar (or brown sugar) 1 tsp vanilla 2 Tbsp oil

Preheat oven to 375°F. Combine Rice Krispies, nuts, sugar, vanilla, and oil to form a crumble. Spread on a baking sheet, and place in oven for approximately 8 minutes to toast. To prepare the strawberry sauce, blend strawberries, orange juice, honey, and vanilla sugar in food processor until very smooth. Layer fruit option of your choice in a large trifle bowl or in mini serving cups. Pour strawberry sauce over fruit. Spread crumbs over top of trifle bowl or mini cups. Serve chilled. Serves: 10–12 Note: For a smaller yield, use only half a melon and half a bag of strawberries.

In the pages of Wellspring, we share expert advice from some of the community’s most popular and competent dietitians and nutritionists. In this column, you get to see how they practice what they preach in their own kitchens. Pull up a chair at “My Table” and join the chat.

THIS MONTH

THAT’S MY FRUIT! Is there a particular fruit that provides you with a kick of energy/nutrition? Or is there a fruit you love for its burst of flavor? How do you enjoy it best?

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Favorite fruits: Passion fruit and strawberries Passion fruit is not in season for too long around here, but when I travel to Europe passion fruit is one of the first things I eat. I also get to enjoy another of my favorite fruits, strawberries, in Europe. From when they were deemed questionable due to their infestation status, I’ve been missing the good old days of feasting on strawberries and sour cream. Since the European variety is not buginfested, I enjoy many, many strawberries when I’m there.

Shira Savit, MA, MHC, INHC

Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC

Compiled by Shiffy Friedman

Favorite fruits: Citrus fruits, such as oranges, grapefruits, and tangerines I love the natural juiciness of these fruits, and the gorgeous orange, pink, and yellow colors. I used to dislike peeling oranges and grapefruits, but now I use the time as an opportunity to be more mindful, slow down, and remember that good things are worth putting some effort into. I don’t generally mix my fruit with other foods, as per the teachings of the Rambam. I enjoy my fruit the most in its natural form.

8 oz plain yogurt 2 Medjool dates, pitted and checked 8 walnuts 2 Tbsp raw tahini Blend all ingredients until smooth.

Favorite fruit: Grapefruit

2 Ruby Red grapefruits, segmented

I love its sweet and tangy combo of flavor, as well as its juiciness. I also love that it’s loaded with fiber and vitamin C. A wonderful benefit of grapefruit is that it helps build immunity, and it also boosts the metabolism. I recommend having grapefruits at least once or twice a week. Here’s a delicious salad that calls for grapefruit segments. Prepare it in individual plates for a really beautiful presentation. Works as an appetizer or even as a main.

2 avocados, sliced

Salmon, Avocado, and Grapefruit Salad 4 slices salmon fillet (1½-inch wide), skin removed Salt

Favorite fruit: Mango Whenever I start cutting a mango, I know I’ll be at my cutting board for a while because I’ll need to cut everyone a piece. Since you don’t get much meat on a mango, I always buy a few at a time. Mangos taste good with everything. Perfect for dessert but also perfect in any salad. They add the most beautiful color, as well. If a recipe calls for craisins and I have mangos on hand, I’ll usually use them instead (peaches are also amazing in salads).

¼ cup olive oil 2 Tbsp lemon juice ¼ cup orange juice 2 tsp sugar or sweetener ½ tsp salt ¼ tsp pepper Preheat oven to 375°F. Season salmon slices with salt and pepper, then drizzle olive oil and lemon juice over fish. Sprinkle with half the scallions. Bake for 10–12 minutes. Meanwhile, prepare the dressing: combine olive oil, lemon juice, orange juice, sugar, salt, and pepper.

2 Tbsp lemon juice

In a large bowl, combine (or layer for a pretty effect) mixed greens, avocado, grapefruit, and remaining scallions.

4–5 scallions, thinly sliced

Pour dressing over salad. Toss well.

1½ bags of mixed greens (such as arugula or romaine)

Break up salmon pieces and add to top of salad.

2 Tbsp olive oil

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

Gila Glassberg, RDN

Pepper

Dressing:

Favorite fruit: Mango Fresh or frozen, mango always seems to hit the spot with its burst of flavor, gorgeous color, and fabulous nutrition profile. When it’s in season, we add mango to yogurt, eat it plain, and toss it into salads.

Shani Taub, CDC

Fresh or dried, I love their texture and creaminess. They give me energy and make me feel full due to their high fiber. And they lower blood sugar levels, too! My favorite recipe using dates is a date-walnut smoothie. It’s a vitaminpacked healthy meal or snack that tastes so good!

Elky Friedman, Health Coach

Dr. Rachael Schindler

Favorite fruit: Dates

Favorite fruit: Apples Besides for their excellent flavor and nutrition profile, since apples must be chewed well, they’re especially filling.

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Blueberries are the star in our house. We enjoy them plain or with yogurt. Small in size yet nutritional powerhouses, they are low on the glycemic index and very rich in antioxidants, fiber, and other nutrients. They help with weight loss, decrease inflammation, boost brain health, cognition, and memory and even have cancer-protecting and inhibiting effects. They’re also good for heart health, digestive health, and immune function. That’s a great example of eating foods that love you back. Apples are another healthpromoting food. They’re also high in antioxidants, especially bioflavonoids, and other nutrients like quercetin that fight free radicals, which help with protection against cancer and repairing free radical damage. This is why apples are part of a healing diet. Stewed apples are great to build digestive health for those who don’t tolerate raw foods well. Apples are also rich in pectin, which is beneficial for both digestion and lowering cholesterol levels. You get the most nutrition if you eat them with the skin. My favorite apples in terms of taste are Golden Delicious and Cortland. Grapefruit is another lower-glycemic food that packs a punch in terms of nutrition. What sets it apart is its link to boosting metabolism, weight loss, and cellulite reduction. It’s also rich in antioxidants that protect the skin and in vitamin C, which is essential for the formation of collagen, a major building block in our skin. Pink grapefruits contain beta carotene,

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which slows the aging of the skin, and salicylic acid, which protects the skin. And so, grapefruits help with appearance and skin protection, as well as weight management. Those are my fruits of choice for both taste and for knowing I’m enjoying foods that love me back. The fruit I enjoy most for its burst of flavor is persimmon. I have a special connection to this fruit—it used to be my grandmother’s favorite, too. Wonderful memories come to mind of going to the produce store and selecting the really soft pieces. That’s when they taste best and have that rich, sweet flavor. Now, when I eat them, I not only savor the taste and softness, but the sweet memories of my grandmother and mother enjoying it as well. Here’s a recipe for stewed apples. It’s delicious and beneficial for everyone, especially those seeking to reduce inflammation and bloating, and improve digestion. 6 organic apples (the Granny Smith variety has the highest concentration of phenolic antioxidant compounds and is therefore most effective) ½ cup water 2 tsp cinnamon Peel, core, and chop apples into small pieces. Place apples into a heavy-bottomed pot and add water and cinnamon. Cook, stirring regularly, until apples form a soft, pulpy mass.

Leah Wolofsky, RDN, Esq

Favorite fruits: Blueberries, apples, grapefruit, and persimmon

Yaffi Lvova, RDN

Bashy Halberstam, INHC

MY TABLE

Favorite fruit: Grapes Many people think grapes are not “healthy” because they’re high in sugar. However, grapes offer incredible nutrition benefits, including high vitamin C and vitamin K content, and can definitely be enjoyed in moderation. Fun fact! The technical name of what we normally eat as red or purple grapes is actually “crimson grapes.” And the “green” variety is Thompson grapes. There are actually many lesser-known varieties of grapes not consumed all year, such as Concord or Cotton Candy grapes, which are great for Tu B’Shevat.

Favorite fruit: Passion fruit It tastes like sunshine and happiness. I love it in yogurt, in popsicles, and in cocktails too! Add a tablespoon of strained passion fruit puree (or nectar) to a flute of champagne for fabulous flavor. Since the puree is sweet, a drier bubbly wine works best. For the kids, I add passion fruit puree to yogurt, parfaits, or to homemade popsicles.

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SOURDOUGH IS ON THE RISE Skillfully Crafted

Artisanal Sourdough

Av ai la

bl e

Cl a

ss ic

e, &

Ev er y

th i

m m m M Heaven & Earth sourdough challah rolls are flash-frozen immediately after baking so when you warm them up - for just about 10 minutes you’ll get the finest, freshest taste of sourdough challah.

OVEN

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to TABLE

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2 ROLLS

YOSHON

MADE

in the USA

Hearrt.Works

MY TABLE

RANDOM

Age: 29 Location: Jackson, New Jersey

Questions

Occupation: Special Education Consultant

for

Baila Perl

My favorite exercise I’m loving the Peloton app because variety’s my thing.

Almonds

(I signed up thanks to Laura Shammah’s recommendation)

One misconception I used

to have about health:

That I’d have to deprive myself if I wanted to make healthy choices.

One interesting thing I’ve learned about health: For me, personally, it is all-or-nothing. If I eat sugar, I’ll just want more, so no going there.

Healthy supper in a pinch:

One food I avoid at all costs Artificial sweeteners

A fresh salad with a baked chicken bottom, with no spices whatsoever. (Even the kids love the crispy results!)

Basic, I know, but start your day with two to three cups of water.

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To answer these questions for an upcoming issue, please write to info@wellspringmagazine.com, subject title “Random.”

My favorite health food:

Family: 4 kids

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