Wellspring Issue #75

E X PA N D E D

PESACH ISSUE

APRIL 2022 // NISSAN 5782 // ISSUE 75

THE HEALTH MAGAZINE FOR THE JEWISH FAMILY Fire, Water, Air, and Earth

Every Minute a Lifetime

Get acquainted with your personality type

If our son’s meningitis turned out to be bacterial, we were told, he was in trouble. It was.

Nice and Tall

Laura Shammah on how nutrition can maximize growth potential

The Recipe You Need This Yom Tov Chaya Tziry Retter’s exercise plan for you

What Your Doctor Never Told You About Acid Reflux

This Hurts!

Dr. Chayala Englard presents an updated view of pain

Tamar Feldman tackles the topic

Sweet ’n Low

Libby in the Lab

Fiction by Ariella Schiller

Putting craniosacral therapy to the test

To Raise a Healthy Child

What I Wish I’d Learned in High School

Dr. David Lieberman Rabbi Ezra Friedman Mrs. Chani Juravel‫׳‬, LCSW

Parenting Panel

A Wellspring survey, conducted by health coach Bina Gottdiener

Rebbetzin Basie Rosenblatt, LCSW

Stop Slurping Your Soup!

The Guttmanns tackle misophonia WELLBEI

NG FEAT

2 New Columns US $9.99 // CALIFORNIA $7.50 CANADA $8.99 // UK £5.50 EUROPE €6.50 // ISRAEL ₪24.9

OT@Home: Tips for helping your anxious child Dietitians Debate: What’s your take on the "Health at Every Size" approach?

Pesach Menu

Healthy and tasty dishes to enhance your Yom Tov meals

Betty Crocker to the Rescue

2 ways to maximize its usage this Pesach

Going Bananas

3 fabulous recipes with this versatile, nutritious Pesach staple

URE

My Table

156

Chol Hamoed meals for when you can’t spend hours in the kitchen

Pesach Menu

THE PER ENHANCFECT DISH ES TO E YOU R YOM TOV

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IT’S ALL ABOUT THE GRAPES

ALL KIDS ARE

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THE L E NESS E F HT IG

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‫כשר לפסח למהדרין‬

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‫ כנגד ארבעה בנים‬,‫עזרה‬

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Can someone help her learn?

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Is he seeing the board clearly?

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Are her teeth healthy?

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WELLBEING FEATURE

Sure, we can talk about our history, or reminisce over our first vintage of Reserves.

We can discuss our scores, our accolades, and show off our awards.

Perhaps we can sip

We’re still working on it.

and debate the best

Napa ever made.

But if you were to

ask us, we’d tell you—

14

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Not for Passover

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A CHAG KASHER V'SAMEIACH FROM

MOSAICA PRESS

by FAYGE GOLDSTEIN AND

CHAYA S. NEWMAN

by RABBI GIDEON ROTHSTEIN

An engaging collection of relatable stories about Hashem’s kindnesses and breathtaking hashgachah pratis.

An analysis of themes that recurrently engaged Torah scholars from the 16th century to the present day.

by RABBI YAAKOV WOLBE

A framework for understanding the connection between man, Torah, and mitzvos, and the consequences of their interrelationship.

by RABBI RAFFI BILEK

Profound truths about Judaism, life, and the universe, as understood from the Hebrew alphabet.

by RAV ASHER WEISS

Insights about the chagim from one of the greatest Torah teachers of our day.

by RABBI NETANEL TESSLER

An easy-to-read translation of the popular Hebrew sefer, now accessible to all who want to learn, review, and retain these fundamental halachos.

by RABBI ILAN HALBERSTADT

"Addresses the issues facing Jewish young men … plots a course to real maturity and greatness."

Rabbi Dr Akiva Tatz

by RABBI YISROEL MILLER

Enter the world of Pirkei Avos and discover a treasure house of wisdom and insight.

by RABBI IMMANUEL BERNSTEIN

Presents the reader with a deeper understanding of Torah, Shavuos, and Judaism itself, drawing on a wide array of sources from throughout the generations.

FOLLOW US FOR DAILY UPDATES

VISIT US ONLINE AT MOSAICAPRESS.COM Mosaica Press books are available for purchase at MosaicaPress.com and your local Jewish bookshop.

Look who's prevailing!

His eyes are still shining all the way at the end of the seder.

Minds filled with knowledge, hearts filled with hope, Rayim children are astoundingly well-prepped for the seder, and for their journeys in life.

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COPY & RESEARCH

Editor In Chief Shiffy Friedman Deputy Editor Libby Silberman Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Bashy Halberstam, INHC Shaindy Oberlander, INHC Shira Savit, MA, MHC, CHC Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC

.

Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC Esther Fried, PFC Child Development Advisory Board Friedy Singer, OTR/L Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L Coordinating Editor Liba Solomon, CNWC Feature Editors Rochel Gordon • Rikki Samson Proofreaders Faige Badian • Meira Lawrence

WELLSPRING MAGAZINE: 718-412-3309 info@wellspringmagazine.com www.wellspringmagazine.com 670 Myrtle Ave. Suite 389 Brooklyn, NY 11205

FOOD CONTENT Food Editor Esther Frenkel Recipes Yossi & Malky Levine Charnie Kohn Elky Friedman Styling & Photography Malky Levine Charnie Kohn Pessi Piller ART & PRODUCTION Cover Design Aryeh Epstein Designer Rivky Schwartz Digital Media Rivkah Shanowitz ADVERTISING Executive Account Manager Goldy Kolman 718-412-3309 Ext.2 ads@wellspringmagazine.com SUBSCRIPTION 718-437-0761 subscribe@wellspringmagazine.com DISTRIBUTION Weekly Publications INC. 347-782-5588

For Delivery Issues: Lakewood: Lakewood Courier 732-546-9333 list@lakewoodcourier.com Upstate: 845-782-1010 Brooklyn: 718-437-0761

The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.

These statements have not been eval uated by the FDA. These products are not i ntended to di agnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease.

‫על החולים‬ ‫שיתרפאו‬ ‫ועל הבריאים‬ ‫שלא יחלו‬ Baruch Hashem. It’s been with immense siyata dishamaya that we’ve served the community for the last 50 years. Our mission is simple: to support the health of Klal Yisrael. Every day we strive toward helping you live stronger by creating premier kosher vitamins with excellence.

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May the ultimate Healer grants us all vigor, strength, and health.

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WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5782

29

EDITOR'S NOTE

There’s More to Health Than Just That

I

’m excited to present you with our expanded Pesach edition, one we’ve been working on since the early days of winter. I write these words to you when we’re already in spring, wafts of bleach and lavender-scented Ajax in the air (while my toddler daughter rehearses the Mah Nishtanah at my side!), but that’s because I always leave this column for last. Some of the articles you’ll find in this content-packed issue came together when the snow was falling outside, when the winter days were just getting comfortable on our hemisphere.

It’s once we’ve tied all the loose ends (hopefully!) that I sit down—no matter how harried the mind has already become after sleepless nights and hectic days—to find a common thread that emerges throughout the pages of the magazine.

And what I find is not surprising; it’s a theme that’s been highlighted many times in this space, as an astute reader points out in this issue’s Springboard. As you flip through the pages, you’ll certainly notice it too—the idea that health is a multifaceted endeavor. It’s not only about the foods we do or don’t eat, or the physical activity we do or don’t engage in. It’s about addressing all aspects of the self, paying attention to every facet that makes up the wondrous and wonderful human being that we are. Yes, it’s important to tend to our physical health, and we certainly dedicate ample space in each issue to cover that. On that end, you’ll find Tamar Feldman’s informative piece on acid reflux, Chaya Tziry Retter’s guide for getting your workout in during this hectic season, and

30

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2022

Bina Gottdiener’s interesting survey on nutrition classes in high school, among other features.

B

ut at the same time, taking note of our emotional wellbeing is a critical component to health, as well.

Be it investing in our parenting, marriage, relationships, and most importantly, our own self-development, doing what we can to experience more tranquility and inner peace makes a world of a difference even to our physical state. As sleep science coach Doron Lazarus points out, it facilitates better sleep. In Dr. Chayala Englard’s fascinating article on understanding pain, she explains how our emotional state impacts how we experience even physical pain. Among other benefits, a calmer self encourages more effective breathing and aids in longevity, with the help of Hashem.

It’s fascinating to observe the incredible ripple effects of happiness, even within. We know how it impacts those around us, spreading rays of light and sunshine, but the one who’s most impacted by our emotional state is we ourselves. As a bachur in yeshivah, my husband had the zechus of eating several Shabbos seudos at Rav Chaim Kanievsky zt”l and his illustrious rebbetzin, Batsheva a”h. Whenever he shares snippets of those prized visits, what my husband remembers most vividly is the joyous atmosphere at the table. The way he describes it, there was just a lot of laughter, a lot of positive exchanges between the Gadol Hador and his rebbetzin, between them and their

guests. These were the people who scrupulously observed every halachah and chumrah, to whom all of Klal Yisrael turned with their issues, with serious questions that required wise, pointed answers. They gave us that, but also so much more.

They gave us a path for living—that we should find the joy in everything. There is so much we can learn from Rav Chaim zt”l, who enjoyed good health and the incredible berachah of arichas yamim, about his approach on life. That shining countenance, drawn from his joy in serving Hakadosh Baruch Hu, radiated from and impacted every part of his being.

There’s no aspect of our life that remains unaffected by our emotional state. The last question in this issue’s parenting panel (a must-read!) is “What do you believe is the main foundation in building a positive parent-child relationship?” When I asked Dr. David Lieberman this question, his answer was quick in coming: simchah. In truth, it’s the main foundation for everything in life.

O

n that note, I love the famous joke regarding Purim and Pesach: on Purim, when an array of foods are consumed and the atmosphere is lighter, we should be wishing each other, “A kasheren Purim,” and on Pesach, when myriad opportunities for tension arise, the blessing should be, “A freilichen Pesach!” When the Yom Tov has finally arrived, after months or weeks or days of intense preparation, we want to enjoy the moments we toiled for. We want to experience true simchas Yom Tov! A kasheren, and also a very freilichen Pesach to you all,

n a m d e i r F y f f i Sh

WELL- PUT The more a child feels understood and validated, the greater his chances for improvement, healing, and success.

Friedy and Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L, Child Development WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5782

31

Only the best will do.

Sending a child to a long term facility is hard. You do thorough research to make sure that every detail matches up. Your standards are high and no aspect of your child’s care can be overlooked.

But there’s one thing that you want more than anything.

We care for children

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Who will lead the seder for Yanky?

The doctor that lives in your community.

Phoenix understands the needs of your child and the sensitivities of Yiddishkeit. We are structured and staffed to accommodate every nuance of your lifestyle. So while you conduct your seder in your home, your fellow yid will be conducting a seder with your child.

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CONTENTS

APRIL 2022 NISSAN 5782 ISSUE 75 Our next issue will appear on Wednesday May 18th iy"H.

WELL INFORMED 12

Springboard

20

Spiritual Eating

22

Torah Wellspring

24

Health Updates

LIVING WELL 30

FYI

36

Insider

38

Community

58

OT@Home

70

An Updated View of Pain

78

Fitness

80

Ask

83

Treating Insomnia

58

Cup of Tea

SAMPLE

70

Fiction

Experiment: Craniosacral Therapy

78

The Functional Dietitian

80

Compass

83

DIY

44

By Libby Silberman I probably know as much as you do about the world of alternative health, and I’m passionately driven to discover the truths, no agendas involved.

So, when I heard an acquaintance of mine rave about craniosacral therapy (CST) on the park bench, I knew it was a go.

NEW COLUMN!

WELLBEING 86

Emotional Eating

86

Child Development

86

Inner Parenting

FAREWELL

99

SEASONED

130 Random

Wellspring extends our warmest Mazel Tov wishes to

Rabbi Ezra & Shiffy Friedman

upon the birth of their son.

34

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2022

NEW COLUMN!

88 DIETITIANS DEBATE What’s your take on the “Health at Every Size” approach?

Facilitated by Leah Wolofsky, RD, Esq. The Health at Every Size (HAES) approach, which has been gaining considerable traction over the past few years, suggests that people can be healthy at any size—and that “thinner” does not necessarily imply “healthier.” This movement supports people at whichever size they appear to be and suggests body acceptance over a focus on losing weight.

TO PARENT RIGHT Wellbeing Panel

By Shiffy Friedman In honor of the Yom Tov of vehigadeta levincha, at a time when families spend lots of time together, we bring you an exclusive panel on a subject that pertains to every parent. Here, our esteemed panelists offer valuable food for thought on the true, oft-misunderstood meaning of healthy parenting, as well as advice and guidance regarding one of the most special relationships in our life.

41

123

WHAT I WISH I LEARNED IN NUTRITION CLASS Feature

By Bina Gottdiener Turns out, what you don’t know can harm you. A fascinating glimpse into how knowledge in nutriton plays a role in our everyday lives

WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5782

35

CONTENTS

308

THE FOUR ELEMENTS AND YOU Wellbeing Feature

By Gila Schechter On Pesach, a time when we experience liberation from the shackles of our personal galus, we’re afforded a deeper glimpse into the self. When all the layers of grime are peeled away, what do we discover? Get to know the strengths of your character through this Torah-based personality typing.

WE’RE LOSING HIM! Medical Saga As told to Roizy Baum Looking back, what was frightening about the ordeal was the speed at which it occurred. It all happened so quickly; we didn’t even have a minute to process it.

320 282

STEAK AND POTATOES Culinary Toolbox

By Charnie Kohn No better way to name this simple yet delicious staple Pesach dish, an all-time classic. Usually, the one downside of this dish is that it requires about two hours of cooking time. Use this method, and your gourmet dinner will be ready in just twenty minutes!

36

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2022

ry

rs a

25 th Year

A n nive

Helpline • Support Groups • Referrals Mental Health • Addiction • School Issues

WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5782

37

SPRINGBOARD

On Hearing Aids, SelfAwareness in Parenting, the Sarno Method, and More

I Can Hear Again Issue #65: Cup of Tea

For many years, I felt I was straining my ears to hear what others were telling me, especially if we were in a noisy setting. When music was playing at a simchah, for example, I didn’t even bother following along with conversations because I knew I’d just be asking, “What? What?” enough times to drive others mad.

However, as Dr. Aviva Klugmann describes so well in her interview, I was one of the many who wouldn’t dare think about getting hearing aids.

To me, it was a most “grandmotherly” 38

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2022

device, and the thought of that oversized brown piece behind my ear made me choose living in discomfort until 120—happily.

But it was this article and Dr. Klugmann’s description of not only the unpleasantness of hearing loss but also the virtually inconspicuous options of hearing aids that are available today that made me rethink that decision.

I’d like to let you know that today, just a few weeks after reading that article, I can finally hear again. And you’d never know that there’s a tiny device behind my ear helping make that happen. You at Wellspring were my good shlichim!

Thanks so much for spreading awareness on such important topics, Name withheld upon request

The Value of Communicating with Our Children Issue #73: Inner Parenting

I really appreciated Shiffy Friedman’s article about parenting hacks, particularly her response in the next issue regarding mothers

WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5782

39

Quick Question

SPRINGBOARD

Question: My 2-month-old baby cries through most of the night, and I find that I must hold him a lot to soothe him during the daytime as well. He’s currently on a supplement for acid reflux, and I’m nursing him full-time. What else can I do? His constant crying and discomfort is so exhausting and stressful for both of us.

Thank you, M.K.

Answer: What you describe sounds stressful indeed. In your question, you don’t mention whether or not you’re watching your diet. For a nursing baby with acid reflux, in addition to supplements, it’s very important for the mother to abstain from foods that are acidic, such as citrus fruits, pineapple, mango, and kiwi.

Try to abstain from coffee, fried foods, spicy foods, nuts, and chocolate. It may seem very restrictive at first, but your baby will hopefully be much calmer and happier. You’ll appreciate that very much!

dedicating individualized time to each child. It was written so well, and it hopefully set in motion each mother tapping into her awareness of her emotions, reflecting on the expectations she has of herself as a parent, the ability to create positive shifts within herself, and by extension, in her relationship and communication with her children.

A couple of days before I read this response, I had a conversation with one of the mothers I work with in my capacity as an OT and neurodevelopmental specialist.

A wonderful mother of six, she commented to me how difficult it is for her in the evening as many of her children seem to always ask for private time with her. She wondered why her children are so “needy.”

Knowing this mother, I knew it was coming from a place of feeling 40

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2022

To your health, Miriam Schweid, health consultant and kinesiologist

overwhelmed and her feeling that she just may not have enough hours in her day to get everything done. I expressed how wonderful it is that her children have the social-emotional awareness to both identify their need and to ask for what they know will inherently make them feel heard, loved, and validated by requesting individual time with her. I told her that in her own way, even if it wasn’t always structured as “private time,” she has been giving them this time and, more importantly, the feeling of connection and bonding that they’ve come to rely on.

I explained to this mother that it’s such a gift when a child can seek connection and receive it. Many children may know they need that time and will ask for it in their own way, but they may not always receive it. With time, the asking may stop

and the child may chas veshalom seek other forms of connection that are maladaptive and not good for them.

I could feel the shift in this mother, her appreciation of her children’s own self-awareness of their needs— and the recognition of herself in that whatever way she’s present with them is enough, and that the opportunity to spend, if possible, more individual time is not only precious for them, but for her as well.

And then, just a few days later, I read your article. I was so grateful for what you expressed. In my practice, I work with so many children who lack awareness of their emotional needs and mothers who are doing everything they can to help their child. It is difficult for them and emotionally draining, and some even express the challenge of feeling that they are constantly giving to that child

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The Doctor Is In

SPRINGBOARD

Question: I’m worried about my six-year-old daughter this spring. In the fall, she started having symptoms of a stuffy nose, itchy and watery eyes, and a cough that made her uncomfortable in the evening, but it got better after the weather started cooling off. Her doctor said it was pollen allergies and prescribed a medication that made her sleepy during the school day, so we didn’t use it much. Now that the weather is getting warmer, I’m afraid for this to start up again. Will she have the same symptoms this spring and if so, what can I do to help her besides medication?

Answer: It sounds like your daughter has fall pollen allergies, with the most common cause being ragweed. Some people may be allergic to multiple types of pollen at different times of year. Tree pollen allergies occur in the springtime, while grass pollen allergies continue from late spring into early summer. These types of pollen have their highest counts in the morning, while fall ragweed peaks in the evening. It is possible to have multiple pollen allergies, including tree or grass, so a visit to an allergist for testing may help to pinpoint her triggers before spring is in full swing.

If she starts having symptoms this spring, there are many helpful precautions you can take to minimize allergens brought into the home. The goal is to keep pollen out of the bedroom. Keep windows shut. Upon entering the home, all outerwear (e.g., shoes, jackets, hats) should be left by the door. Keep in mind that head coverings (tichels, sheitels, etc.) can have pollens stick to them too. If worn outdoors, they should not be kept in the bedroom.

Clothing directly exposed to the air should go straight to the laundry, not thrown on the bed or the bedroom floor. Have her shower or bathe before bed rather than waiting for the morning to wash off pollen lingering in the hair or elsewhere. Air purifiers may be helpful for pet allergens but are not proven to help filter larger allergens like pollen. Nasal sprays and eye drops can be tried before oral medications. If medication does help, try it at night before bed to minimize daytime drowsiness. If symptoms are poorly controlled with all these measures, a consultation with an allergist for allergen immunotherapy can be considered in the future.

Hatzlachah!

Tehila Saadia MD, CLC Pediatric and Adult Allergist in Brooklyn, New York JOWMA, Preventative Health Committee

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and at the same time somehow losing themselves. We try to remind them of the importance of just being with one another, connecting on a basic level where there are no expectations, just the joy of being present—whether eating an ice cream, going for a walk together, or just sharing a hot cocoa—and it’s incredible to observe what a difference it makes in their relationship and in the shift that happens in the mother when she is able to just connect with and enjoy her child.

awareness, reflection, and growth in all of us,

May your work continue to create

Wow, I enjoyed Faigy Schonfeld’s

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2022

Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L Hands On Approaches

Facing Our Truth Can Be Tough Issue #72: FYI

article on mind-body syndrome so much. For years I suffered from terrible back pain. Sometimes I was in such agony that I’d just lie in bed and stare at the ceiling, petrified to move even one vertebrate. As many doctors as I visited, as many specialists as I saw, no one could give me a conclusive diagnosis regarding my condition. I tried various solutions, even contemplating surgery (!), but nothing seemed to help.

Whenever people would mention, every now and then, that perhaps my issue was a result of emotional

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Question:

I caught my seven-year-old child sneaking food in her room. I backed away because I didn’t want to say the wrong thing. What should I do?

Answer: Sneaking food may be a sign that the child feels restricted. Or it might mean a friend shared a treat and there isn’t enough to share with siblings in the kitchen.

If the cause is restriction, the child doesn’t feel safe eating that food, at that time, in a shared space. The goal is to get to the root cause of the discomfort. Consider the following questions, but avoid asking the child directly: Is this a food that’s not allowed in your home?

Is this an off-limits time to eat?

Why can’t it be eaten in view of others?

When you next have an opportunity, create a fun food experience to enjoy together. Make a new fun Pesach recipe, for instance. Maybe you even want to get a fun treat and invite her to enjoy it with you. Tell her what you like about eating in your room, and she may volunteer her own thoughts.

Sometimes, it can be healthy to seek a solo eating experience.

By coming to the conversation with curiosity, you’ll leave room to learn more about your daughter and her relationship with food. In that way, you can best support her and her unique needs as she grows.

Yaffi Lvova, RDN

Yaffi Lvova, RDN, is a dietitian and food enjoyment activist who encourages positive nutrition through writing, speaking, and Nap Time Nutrition, her video blog and podcast. Find out more at babybloomnutrition.com.

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Nutrition Nugget

SPRINGBOARD

“stuff,” I would categorically refute their claims.

To me, that meant my pain wasn’t real. It meant I didn’t have a physical issue, only an emotional one, and I preferred not to go there. But when the situation became so unbearable that I almost missed my son’s aufruf, I decided to give the Sarno method a try. As Faigy so beautifully explains in her article, it’s amazing to witness the results of truly tackling an emotional issue. I am literally a new person—not only free of my back pain, but also feeling so much “lighter,” now that so much emotional “baggage” has been released. So many things fall into place when our emotional health is tended to. I appreciate that this is a constant theme in the magazine, a point often mentioned in the Wellbeing section, as well as the editor’s letter. We need to hear it again and again—that it’s not only about physical health, but also about taking care of ourselves in any way we need to in order to function properly and be the best ovdei Hashem.

With much appreciation, Name withheld upon request

Live and Learn Issue #74: The Functional Dietitian

Just writing to say how much I enjoy your magazine. Ever since I was gifted a subscription almost a year ago, I’ve been looking forward to each issue every month, curious to see which topics will be covered and how they pertain to my life. I’m amazed how there’s always something—usually more than just one—that I can immediately implement or change or do with more intention based on the new information I’ve learned.

I especially enjoyed Tamar Feldman’s article, The Science of Weight Loss, in the last issue. It

At Hamaspik, it’s all about the needs of the community. We’re here to fill the void, heal the pain, and transform lives. The stories we hear inspire us to strive for more and aim higher with every move we make. It is an honor and privilege for us to be there for the community, and provide services, support, and hope to those who need it most.

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“My child should be eligible for early intervention services, but who can guide me through the maze of providers and various services to set my daughter up for the best start in life?”

Seeing the need.

Filling the void.

“When my son with Autism son comes home, the house becomes a war zone. His siblings are frightened, the baby cries, and I just try to survive, one moment at a time.”

Seeing the need.

Filling the void.

“When my son with Down syndrome looked on blankly as his siblings sang Mah Nishtanah, my heart shattered. Why must specialized learning come at the expense of his Yiddishkeit?”

Seeing the need.

Filling the void.

“Finding the mental health resources that fit my needs is a real struggle. And even then, there’s a months-long waitlist.

I need someone who has the connections to guide me and help me get an appointment with the right specialist.”

Seeing the need.

Filling the void.

“I would do anything to save my child from drowning in despair. But without anyone to guide me forward, I’m trapped, watching him suffer in silence, solitude and pain.”

Seeing the need.

Filling the void.

“Bubby and Tatty keep whispering about medication and outpatient and treatment and a sy-kee-atch-rik ward. They keep saying, ‘But who can we ask?’ Once, I even saw Tatty cry.”

“When it comes to getting help for my daughter with special needs, I want people to give her their heart, soul and compassion—not simply the services themselves.”

Seeing the need.

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“They told me my panic attacks are too extreme, and I need professional help.

What ‘they’ never told me is how to cover the astronomical costs of therapy.”

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What’s more, two months without diligently maintaining her therapies and skills means major regression come September.”

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If only we could access ongoing support, guidance and a like-minded community without compromising on our privacy.”

Seeing the need.

Filling the void.

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SPRINGBOARD

Already looking forward to the next issue!

since that didn’t happen for me, I’d love to hear more ideas of how I can motivate myself to keep exercising. I know it’s good for me, both physically and emotionally, but I’m finding it so hard to keep at it. Any other suggestions?

Toby K.

M. Perlman

Kew Garden Hills, Queens

Any Other Motivations for Exercise?

Issue #74: Sample

Thanks for the laughs in your Purim issue. I read about the women who participated in the “Couch Potato” Sample and found myself feeling pretty envious, confident that I would certainly pass the test had I been offered the chance to have my results featured in the magazine. But

Lakewood, New Jersey Certified Fitness Instructor Chaya Tziry Retter responds: This is a great question, and I believe countless women can identify with this challenge, too. Yes, I think we all know the wonderful benefits exercise has on physical, as well as mental and emotional, health. Sometimes that alone can push us to get our sneakers on when we don't necessarily feel like it. But, at a certain point, we may end up feeling burnt out.

Some common solutions work for

many people, such as pre-paying for a round of classes so that it obligates you, committing to a routine with a friend, remembering the “high” you experienced after yesterday’s class, etc.

However, I think the key to staying motivated is finding something you really enjoy doing. Rather aim for something realistic, sustainable and practical than reaching too high and losing your drive. Walking in the fresh air to take your baby to playgroup, signing up at a women’s pool and taking a swim when you want to relax, brisk walking on your treadmill while listening to music or a class you enjoy, joining a dance/zumba class, treating yourself to a calm and soothing yoga session, releasing tension with some kickboxing—there are many opportunities for every type of personality and preference.

Aim to discover what works best for you and keep it pressure-free. Our to-do lists are endless as is; let’s try to make exercising a treat rather than a chore!

Get in touch!

Wellspring invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@wellspringmagazine.com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.

Any health information, advice, or suggestions published here are the opinion of the letter writer and are not independently investigated, endorsed, or validated by Wellspring. Always seek the advice of a qualified health professional or medical practitioner regarding any medical advice, condition, or treatment.

shed a lot of light on how the body works and how certain behaviors we may assume are good for weight loss are actually detrimental. Who would have thought?

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SPIRITUAL EATING

By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

Achieving Personal Salvation, One Bite at a Time

“A new king arose over Mitzrayim, who did not know Yosef. He said to his people, ‘Behold the people, the Children of Israel, are more numerous and stronger than us. Come, let us outsmart them…’ So they appointed taskmasters over them in order to afflict them with their burdens; they built storage cities for Pharaoh—Pisom and Raamses.”

(Shemos 1, 8–11)

The fundamental seeds of galus and geulah are planted in these verses introducing Egyptian servitude and the initial descent of the Yidden into exile.

The “melech chadash—new king” is an allusion to the yetzer hara that is embedded in every person. The characteristic of Yosef is kedushah (holiness and inner discipline), as seen through his extraordinary strength for not succumbing to the advances of the wife of Potiphar. Therefore, explains the Nesivos Shalom, a new king (the yetzer hara) didn’t recognize Yosef (kedushah).

Hashem created every Yid with inherent holiness and sanctity. Our neshamos emanate from a place of ultimate pleasure in Shamayim called the Olam Hata’anug, and descend to this world, yearning to replicate the same. However, there is pleasure that is rooted in holiness and discipline, referred to as ta’anug d’kedushah, and then there is the polar opposite: desire for immediate gratification, ta’avas haguf.

Spiritual exile for the individual, as well as national exile for the Jewish nation, occurs when we choose the latter and forgo the former, creating a separation and emotional distance from ourselves and our Father in Heaven. Redemption is when we re-

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connect with our Creator, consistently feeling the closeness and love.

So, why would any Yid want to sever that bond? We all possess a yetzer hara—the counterforce to kedushah that most often expresses itself in ta’avas achilah (intense desire for excessive consumption). The “Am Bnei Yisrael” mentioned above represent holiness, and the “el amo—[He said] to his people,” the Egyptians, signify the koach hatumah. An incredible insight from this analogy, explains the Nesivos Shalom, is that the power of holiness and sanctity is stronger than the power of impurity: “Behold, the people, the Children of Israel, are more numerous and stronger than we,” says Pharaoh. Meaning, the koach of kedushah is inherently more powerful than the koach of tumah. Therefore, they have to turn to deception in order to have success: “Come, let us outsmart them.”

The Mitzriyim did so by building storage cities. Pisom is an acronym for “peh tehom” (opening of the depths).

The Nesivos Shalom asserts that this denotes one expression of ta’avas achilah in the form of inappropriate relationships. Raamses represents “ra moseis” (literally, “evil stomach”), symbolizing excessive consumption through overeating—another manifes-

tation of ta’avas achilah. The Egyptians (the power of spiritual impurity) have to lure the Yidden into pursuing pleasures that our souls legitimately hunger for in the appropriate manner—but which end up causing us great personal damage and distance from our Creator when exercised outside the bounds of kedushah.

What is our antidote against their deception?

“Kadesh atzmecha bemutur lach—Sanctify yourself within that which is permitted to you,” the Ramban famously teaches in Parshas Kedoshim. Eating is a necessary and extremely enjoyable privilege—when done within proper guidelines. Left to our body’s whims and desires, we can easily go overboard. That’s the work of the yetzer hara and the koach hatumah, leading us to the depths of despair and exile—all in the name of enjoyment.

And our salvation—both individually and nationally—comes when we employ holiness and discipline, using the wonderful gifts Hashem has given us to tap into kedushah while partaking in the pleasures of this world. We have to guard ourselves from being outsmarted by our yetzer hara and letting a good thing get out of hand. Our road to redemption can begin right now—one bite at a time.

Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS, is the founder and director of Soveya and the author of the best-selling book Enough Is Enough—How the Soveya Solution Is Revolutionizing the Diet and Weight-Loss World, available on Amazon and at Barnes & Nobles and Judaica Plaza in Lakewood. He has worked with thousands of clients around the world and has maintained a 130-pound weight loss for the last 19 years. For more information about Soveya’s programs call 732-578-8800, email info@ soveya.com, or visit www. soveya.com.

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TORAH WELLSPRING

By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

The Sweet Taste of Freedom Even in galus, we can experience our personal geulah.

These are the days of geulah, days of liberation. Every year in Nissan, the sefarim tell us, we experience our own exodus. Even if we don’t notice a technical change in our circumstances, which will happen with the coming of Mashiach, the nefesh does experience a renewed sense of freedom at this time. What are we free from if we’re still in the shackles of exile?

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The most profound geulas hanefesh for an individual is to come to the realization that everything he’s been seeking all his life can be found within. He’s being let in on a great secret that the one thing he’s been chasing after from the time he knows himself is actually right there, in his own backyard, and all those fruitless, exhausting pursuits can come to a relieving end.

And that’s the truth. No more slaving away on trying to attain happiness, love, acceptance, respect. It’s all right there for us, conveniently accessible. We simply need to know it, and feel it.

Where Is It All Hiding?

To discover this truth is to discover a treasure trove. It means we can give up the angst-inducing pursuit of what seemed elusive until now and simply embrace the inner treasure that’s been obscured for too long. Is there anything more liberating than that? But where, we may wonder, is it all hiding?

Each of us is innately driven to pursue the positive emotions we seek all our lives. Hakadosh Baruch Hu created us with a deep desire for joy, love, security, acceptance, respect, etc. He fashioned us in this manner so we would eventually reach the recognition and clarity regarding the only place they can really be found: in our relationship with Him. Until we realize that, we’re in a self-imposed galus, but once we do come to this recognition, regardless of the technical circumstances of our life, we’re in a virtual geulah. Life tastes sweeter. It becomes an exhilarating experience.

This is not just a feel-good revelation. It is the truth in its most exquisite form: since our essence is the chelek Eloka mima’al, and Hakadosh Baruch Hu is the embodiment of completeness, when we connect to this place, we get in touch with our own shleimus. It’s from this place that we draw all the positive emotions we desperately seek.

To recognize that we already have

it—we are a part of the Creator of this Universe—is to experience geulah in its purest form. It’s not my status or my assets that will give me what I’m searching for. If I’m a part of the embodiment of goodness, I’m wholly good, as well.

The Reality If the source of all our joy is conveniently available within, why is it that most of us don’t just feel this liberation in the here and now? In fact, we may even experience disappointment, a tad of resistance, hearing that this is considered our personal geulah. We want to hear that it’s something we haven’t had access to until this day, that what we’ve been looking for wasn’t just hiding in our essence all this time.

But this is the reality, and if we don’t feel it, that may be an indication that we’ve distanced ourselves from this essence. We may not have been living with the positive feelings that exist within, but they’re all there. As we say in Elokai Neshamah every morning, “neshamah shenasata bi tehorah hi,” the neshamah is pure, unadulterated, exquisite. The more aware we are of this reality, the happier we become.

As much as we’re always told that perfection is not what we should be seeking, we find that honestly that’s what we do want. And here’s why:

because there is a place in us that is already perfect. It’s the chelek Eloka mima’al, which is essentially our most precious, real component. The more we connect to our G-dly essence, the more in touch we are with who we really are, the more shleimus—and thus happiness—we feel.

The Crux of Geulah In fact, it is this revelation that personifies even the Geulah Sheleimah. With the coming of Mashiach, umalah ha’aretz deiah es Hashem, the world will be filled with a recognition of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. That’s the crux of the Exodus—that suddenly, the entire Creation will come to the realization that Hashem is at the center of it all.

If I can recognize today that it’s already there, that everything I’m seeking is within me, I can experience my personal geulah today.

We live in a world where not only is a human being not valuable enough unconditionally, but untold value is placed on achievement and acquisition of assets. We’re inculcated with a flawed belief that happiness is derived from external pursuits. So many of our goals are simply built on a fear of “I’m not yet enough”—not happy enough, good enough, loved enough, respected enough, etc., and we believe that by achieving our goal we’ll finally feel that way.

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TORAH WELLSPRING

It means we can give up the angstWhile goals are helpful in motivating us, when they’re driven by fear, we find that even when we reach them, we still feel a sense of emptiness, a sense of “Why don’t I feel this completeness, this wholeness, that I thought I’d finally experience?”

This disappointment is directly linked to our erred belief that external accomplishments or acquisitions will engender the positive emotions we want to experience. But the moment we realize that as a chelek Eloka mima’al, the shleimus we seek is already within, and all we need to do is tap into it, we are truly and authentically free.

It Happened in Mitzrayim When Hashem commanded Moshe Rabbeinu to go liberate the Yidden, Moshe expressed his apprehension.

“They won’t listen to me,” he countered. “They’re so shattered!”

As the sefarim teach us, galus Mitzrayim was not about the physical conditions; in the midbar, the Yidden missed the fish they ate there. Rather, the crux of their galus was that they were mired in spiritual impurity, the 49th level. They were far, far away from feeling their chelek Eloka mima’al, disconnected from their pure essence.

This was Moshe’s concern. How will I prove to Klal Yisrael that they’re worthy of geulah? That they’re Hashem’s beloved children—that even in their state of tumah they still possess a pure neshamah?

Hakadosh Baruch Hu’s response to Moshe reflected this concern. He re-

inducing pursuit for what seemed elusive until now and simply embrace the inner treasure that’s been obscured for too long.

vealed Himself with the name “Ehkeh asher Ehkeh,” I will be with them in this galus as I will be them in other galuyos. His message to Klal Yisrael was, “I am with you in galus right now, even in your present state. My love for you is unconditional. Even when you’re in a state of impurity, you are beloved to Me just as you are, and you will always be My precious children.”

This is the epitome of geulah; it’s the revelation we can experience every year. When we learn to tap in to our perfect, pure G-dly essence, all the goodness we seek is unleashed and we get to feel authentic cheirus in its most exquisite form. May we all be zocheh to feel this geulah in our personal lives until Hashem sends the Geulah Sheleimah very soon.

Rabbi Ezra Friedman welcomes questions and comments on this column. Please write to rabbiefriedman@wellspringmagazine.com.

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UPDATES

By Esther Retek

Cooking Therapy Mental health improvement can be a cutting board and stove away If you need just one more factor to motivate you in the Pesach kitchen, read on. According to a new study, cooking provides more benefits than we can imagine, and not just in financial or physical health matters.

In the past, many studies have proved the impact of homemade cooking on healthy eating and general eating habits. But now, a new study conducted at the Edith Cowen University took the benefits a step further.

The study, published in Frontiers in Nutrition, sought to determine the benefits of homemade cooking on mental health. In order to do so, they partnered with a learn-tocook food program called Jamie’s Ministry of Food and The Good Foundation. Between 2016 to 2018, they gathered 657 participants to join the seven-week healthy cooking program.

During these weeks, the researchers measured participants’ overall mental health, confidence, and emotional wellbeing. The researchers then concluded that those who followed through with the program saw significant health improvements after the seven-week course, with some participants reporting these changes as long as six months after the course. The participants displayed more vitality and 56

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more confidence in what they were doing as well as other mental health improvements in comparison with the control group. It is also noteworthy that weight did not affect the results, as overweight and obese participants reported the same mental health changes as others.

Although some argue that these mental health improvements are a result of the participants consuming healthier foods, mental health changes were also reported by those who made no change of diet. “This suggests a link between cooking confidence and satisfaction around cooking, and mental health benefits,” said Dr. Joanna Rees, lead author of the study.

Interestingly, the study also proved that cooking remains a task chiefly for women. At the start of the study 77 percent of the women participants reported feeling confident in their cooking skills while only 23 percent of the men reported the same. However, by the end of the study, both men and women displayed equal confidence and cooking skills, suggesting that all it takes is a bit of learning and practice to master the kitchen.

Time to get back into the kitchen, albeit with newfound appreciation for this daily chore.

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UPDATES

How Helpful Is That Daytime Sleep?

New research indicates that napping may impair brain health With late pre-Pesach and Yom Tov nights—sometimes compensated for with midday naps—we’re at risk of falling into an irregular sleep cycle that may not do too well for brain health. In fact, it may be better to go on less sleep and skip those naps, according to a new study published in Alzheimer’s and Dementia. The study, researched at the University of California, suggests that older adults who nap during the day are more likely to develop Alzheimer’s than those who rely only on nighttime sleep. Furthermore, if they are already suffering from Alzheimer’s, napping can advance their illness.

“Daytime napping and Alzheimer’s disease seem to be driving each other’s changes in a bi-directional way,” said study author Dr. Yue Leng. “Older adults, and especially those with Alzheimer’s disease, should pay more attention to their daytime napping behaviors,” Leng said.

More than 1,400 older Americans, with an average age of 81, participated in the study by wearing an activity monitor for two weeks every year for 14 years. The monitor would record the participants’ naps, and by the end of each year, the participants also completed a neurological test. At the start, the majority of participants showed no signs of any cognitive impairment, 19.5 percent had mild cognitive impairment, and slightly more than 4 percent already had Alzheimer’s disease.

Over 14 years, the findings presented interesting results.

The greater the increase in naps, the more quickly memory and thinking skills declined. According to the report, the napping rate doubled after a diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment and nearly tripled after a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease. These findings proved that there’s some sort of association between cognitive impairment and napping.

The next part of the study tried to determine if napping 58

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is a risk factor for developing Alzheimer’s disease. The researchers compared participants who, at the start of the study, had normal memories and cognitive skills but developed Alzheimer’s disease to the participants whose thinking remained stable during the study. The differentiating factor? Those who napped more than an hour a day had a shocking 40 percent higher risk of developing Alzheimer’s.

Why might napping be linked to Alzheimer’s? The researchers suggest different theories.

“It could be a reflection of underlying Alzheimer’s pathology at the preclinical stage that affects the wake-promoting network and contributes to increased daytime sleepiness,” Dr. Leng said. In trying to explain how oversleeping during the day can cause cognitive impairment she explained, “Excessive daytime napping might also impact and interact with night sleep, resulting in altered 24hour circadian rhythms, which has also been linked to an increased risk of Alzheimer’s.”

The researchers are trying to use this study to further assist seniors suffering from Alzheimer’s. Their first suggestion is to regulate their sleep schedule to stretch the nighttime sleep and shorten daytime naps.

Ready to ditch your nap? Not so fast, claim many medical professionals who reviewed the study. Thankfully, there is currently much opposition to the study. Some argue that Alzheimer’s is commonly present in its early stages at the age of 80, so this study can’t prove that napping caused the disease. It is more likely that the subjects who were already in the early stages of Alzheimer’s needed to nap more frequently, and not the other way around.

So, yes, continue enjoying your nap, but do keep in mind that the best sleeping habits include a solid stretch of nighttime shut-eye. It’s that important.

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UPDATES

Tip

20 in a series

Well Spent

Post-Pesach Budgeting If you find the extensive list of extra expenses mars your simchas Yom Tov, this one’s for you. While keeping in mind that Shabbos and Yom Tov expenses are in a class of their own, there are ways we can budget responsibly so we can remain in positive spirits and maintain that special, joyous atmosphere. For one, you can always try to save after the Yom Tov is over. Here are four budget-friendly tips for after Pesach.

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1. Create a master list.

2. Put away nonperishables.

3. Reuse shelf liners.

4. Enjoy those Pesach leftovers.

This tip won’t just spare you time and work next year, but can help with your budget too. Take a few minutes after Pesach to jot down what foods were wasted, what foods you ran out of (and could’ve bought in bulk instead), exactly how many matzos you used, etc., so you’ll have more clarity when doing your Pesach shopping next year.

Instead of using your kosher for Pesach spices, coffee, dishwashing soap, etc. after Pesach, store them away together with your Pesach dishes to use for the next year. Since many of these products are considerably more costly than their chametz counterparts, this can save you some bucks next Pesach.

In addition to saving time cutting liners to size, you’ll save money by storing the shelf/ refrigerator/counter liners from year to year.

Simply wipe them down and store in a garbage bag. On the same note, if you use aluminum foil to cover parts of the kitchen, instead of rolling all that foil into a huge ball (is that only our kidfriendly Motzaei Pesach activity?) simply cut into squares as you remove them and use over the next few days.

Although most of us are quick to dispose of Pesach cakes (how do they turn so tasteless after Yom Tov?) and other Pesach dishes, there are so many creative ways to repurpose those dishes. Flourless cakes can be turned into crumbs for mousse cups or other layered desserts, and macaroons crushed into your next batch of granola or as a crunch for ice cream. Matzah can be broken, dipped in eggs, and fried for a delicious side dish, and even gefilte fish can be processed into a creamy spread by blending with onions, cooked eggs, and spices.

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ALTERNATIVE VIEW

BY FAIGY SCHONFELD

WARTS WARTS ARE NOT LIFE-THREATENING IN ANY WAY, BUT THEY ARE CONTAGIOUS, UNPLEASANT TO LOOK AT, VERY COMMON, AND SOMETIMES PAINFUL. THE CULPRIT IS THE HPV VIRUS, WHICH INFECTS ABOUT 14 MILLION AMERICANS EVERY YEAR. THOUGH THE VIRUS DOESN’T ALWAYS CAUSE WARTS, THEY TEND TO GROW IN THOSE WITH WEAKER IMMUNE SYSTEMS.

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ALTERNATIVE VIEW

WARTS ARE NON-CANCEROUS VIRAL GROWTHS ON THE SKIN. CHILDREN ARE MORE LIKELY TO HAVE WARTS THAN ADULTS BECAUSE OF THEIR FREQUENT SCRAPES AND WOUNDS, WHICH ALLOW ACCESS TO THE VIRUS. WHILE WARTS CAN GO AWAY ON THEIR OWN WITHOUT MEDICAL INTERVENTION, THEY COULD TAKE WEEKS, MONTHS, OR EVEN YEARS TO DISAPPEAR.

FOUR TYPES OF WARTS Common warts are the troublesome ones on your hands, although they can grow on any part of the body.

They’re associated with nail-biting or picking/biting the cuticles.

Plantar warts are sometimes painful and found on the soles of the feet. They look flat but actually grow inward due to the pressure of standing and walking.

Flat warts can be found anywhere on the body but are often associated with breaks in the skin.

Filiform warts, which look like long threads, often develop on the face and can grow very quickly.

CONVENTIONAL TREATMENT Conventional treatments include freezing, burning, cutting, laser treatments, chemical peels, and more.

These methods are often painful and sometimes leave scarring. The good news is that there are many alternative treatments to try.

Here’s a quick DIY treatment. It’s called duct-tape wart removal and includes only a few steps.

Cut a small piece of duct tape, just big enough to cover the wart. Wash and dry the wart area well, then apply the duct tape. If the duct tape loosens, replace with another piece as soon as possible. Remove the tape about once a week or so, in order to wash the wart and remove dead skin cells. Allow to dry overnight before reapplying another piece of tape. Repeat until, with Hashem’s help, it’s all gone.

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65

ALTERNATIVE VIEW

HOME REMEDIES Break out the apple cider vinegar (ACV). What else? With its antiviral properties, it’s a great place to start.

Soak a cotton ball in ACV and apply to wart. Then wrap the wart with a bandage and leave on overnight. Air out in the morning and repeat as necessary.

When you’re having your next banana, don’t toss the peel just yet. The proteolytic enzyme in banana peels can help soften hardened warts and eventually dissolve them. Just scrape the whitish inside of a banana peel and apply to the warts.

Coconut oil has antibacterial, antiviral, and antifungal properties. Apply it as you would apple cider vinegar.

Turmeric has powerful antimicrobial properties. To use, make a paste with turmeric powder and water and apply to warts.

Aloe vera’s cool, soothing gel can be bring relief to painful plantar warts. The gel helps dry them out as well.

Honey contains enzymes that draw out moisture in the skin, which is a good thing when it comes to warts.

When warts are in moist environments, they are harder to get rid of.

Comfrey leaf is a medicinal plant commonly used to treat wounds. Boil comfrey leaves and once cooled, pour the water with the leaves into a basin and soak the wart area in it.

And of course, there’s always garlic, which is so full of antibacterial and antiviral properties. Try gently rubbing fresh garlic slices on warts or secure them in place with a bandage. Warts will blister, but once they heal, they will just slough off as dead skin.

Many essential oils contain active plant compounds that can help kill pathogens. Hazel and rosemary are both popular oils for wart removal. Squirt a few drops of oil on a cotton ball, rub the cotton ball on warts, and cover with a bandage. Repeat as necessary.

NO MATCH FOR GARLIC For a fascinating study on the efficacy of garlic for wart treatment, a group of researchers obtained extracts from peeled garlic. Working with several patients who had warts and corns, they were divided into three groups. During one part of the trial, patients applied water extracts of garlic on their warts twice a day. Later, some patients applied a fat-soluble garlic extract. The control group treated their warts or corns with a solution of chloroform and methanol.

The researchers reported that 30–40 days of treatment with water extracts of garlic eliminated small warts and partially improved the appearance of larger warts. They also found that those who treated their warts with a fat-soluble garlic extract got rid of their warts completely after 1–2 weeks of treatment. Meanwhile, the control group showed no improvement. After a few months, the researchers conducted a follow-up and found no recurrence of warts among the garlic extract-treated patients. Three points for Dr. Garlic!

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WARTBEGONE

Feel Good, Look Good.

To prevent warts or quell their spread, here are some things to try.

Practice proper hygiene, primarily including regular hand washing. Refrain from picking at your warts, as this could make them worse. Plus, try to keep your hands and feet dry at all times. And try to wear slippers around the swimming pool area.

Of course, as with every condition, turning to the One who sent the warts in the first place is always the best hishtadlus in helping the issue disappear.

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67

INSIDER

By Roizy Baum

MOUTH Multi-Functional A major player at the Pesach Seder (as is alluded in the word peh-sach, the time when the mouth converses), the mouth is involved in several essential functions, including breathing, chewing, digesting, swallowing, talking, and tasting.

Measuring Cup Believe it not, even saliva amounts have a medical standard! Healthy individuals accumulate between 2–6 cups of saliva a day. And that’s without stimulation from actions like chewing thread or gum—activities that unlock the floodgates.

Ideal Cleanser Our body’s built-in cleansing system is hard at work, and not just before Pesach. By washing away sugary and acidic food debris, saliva helps fight cavities. On average, a person produces just over 25,000 quarts of saliva in their lifetime.

Innocent or Guilty?

In some ancient societies, saliva was used as a basic lie detector. In ancient India, for example, accused liars were required to chew grains of rice. If they were being truthful, they would have enough saliva to spit them back out again. But if they were lying, their mouth would turn dry, and the rice would remain stuck to their throat.

To Drool For At about 2–4 months of age, babies start drooling.

That’s because they’re still in discovery mode and are clueless as to what to do with their spit. Lacking control of their oral muscles, they can’t swallow effectively until they’re about two years old.

Necessity is the mother of invention. Hello, bibs!

Tougher than Nails Made up of mineralized tissues, enamel is tougher than nails.

Enamel is designed to help us chew and break down our food, but it’s not invincible. When ignored, enamel can degenerate due to plaque and bacteria. It can also chip under pressure.

Two for a Lifetime You’ll spend over two months of your life brushing your teeth. If you brush for two minutes, twice a day, every day, for most of your life, you’ll be brushing for a total of between 70–80 days!

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Uniquely Yours Dental records have been used to help identify bodies for a reason. Of all the 52 teeth a person will have in their life, each and every one is unique. Right from birth, each tooth has a unique character. Every person’s teeth—even those of identical twins—are set in their mouth differently. Our tongue print is uniquely ours, too!

Worming Beliefs Tooth pain? Must be the tooth worms again! In premodern times, common belief was that the culprits for tooth pain were worms living in the gums that were guilty of boring holes into the teeth, causing cavities.

They also assumed that any slight movement of the worms caused pain. Recent science, though, was able to debunk this theory. Nowadays, we all know that poor dental hygiene as well as genetics are to blame for cavities and toothaches.

Bacteria in Bounty Altogether, you likely have millions of individual bacteria in your mouth at any given moment. While there are hundreds of strains of bacteria, Streptococcus mutans are known to wreak the most havoc on teeth; these bacteria convert sugars and carbohydrates into acids, contributing significantly to tooth decay.

Careful, Contagious!

Interestingly enough, tooth decay is classified as an infectious disease because it is caused by a specific strain of bacteria that can be shared between people.

Chewing Gum versus Chewsticks The first toothbrush in history was called a “chewstick.” Made by chewing on one end of a small branch until it became soft and fibrous, chewsticks were remarkably effective at cleaning teeth of debris.

Wisdom Wonders Feel like your baby has been teething forever?

Only twenty baby teeth will actually surface, all of which will eventually fall out, making way for 32 permanent adult teeth. Most humans have the same number of teeth, but the slight differences come into play when the wisdom teeth or third molars develop.

Adults can have between zero and four wisdom teeth.

Inability to Self-Repair Shouldn’t teeth be able to heal from injuries or even regrow? After all, they’re living tissue with a blood supply. However, as we know, teeth are unable to repair themselves. Once tooth decay begins, it will slowly progress to the point of advanced tooth decay or even tooth loss. The only way to repair tooth decay, like cavities, is with a filling, a crown, or a root canal. Once a tooth is lost, the only option is a replacement like a denture, bridge, or dental implant.

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69

INSIDER

Poland Spring’s Competition In total, Americans purchase more than 14 million gallons of toothpaste yearly.

Teeth as Tools Open a magazine wrapper, bite off a cuticle, cut a piece of tape—teeth to the rescue! It’s hard to refrain from using teeth for purposes for which they were not intended, even if the dentist cautions against it. You can’t really blame the rule-breakers, though. The human biting force, after all, is on par with that of a pit bull. Adult humans have a biting force of 200 lbs and pit bulls’ biting force comes in at 235 lbs. So, no worries about all that matzah-chomping. Your teeth can manage that just fine.

Of Seashells and Bones Don’t forget to cap the crushed seashells, salt, pulverized dried bread, and crushed bones, er, toothpaste! Incredibly, this is what toothpaste was once composed of. Ancient toothpaste was often flavored with mint, juniper, and other herbs. Although the original ingredients have long since been swapped, though, the minty flavor remains a favorite.

Stop the Spread Recurring strep infections?

Discard your toothbrush to make sure you don’t keep infecting yourself.

It does make sense— toothbrushes are used to clear bacteria out of our mouths, after all.

More than Meets the Eye Hidden beneath your gums is a third of your tooth, known as the root. Because there is so much more tooth than what meets the eye, it is critical to keep those gums healthy to promote overall oral health.

Popular but Preventable Forty-two percent of all American children are affected annually by the most common and most preventable childhood disease: cavities. Yup, it’s considered a disease, believe it or not.

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Who Does What?

Tips to Keep the Mouth Healthy

By Joel Danziger, DDS, Member of American Dental Association and American Academy of Facial Esthetics

A peek into the varied field of dentistry

By Joel Danziger, DDS

General Dentist:  For routine care, one should see their dentist every six months, and X- rays should be taken once annually. It is important to brush and floss twice a day, and toothbrush heads should be changed every three months.

One of the most common types of dentistry. They perform most dental procedures, except for very complicated advanced dental procedures (unless they have been trained and certified in those areas). They serve on the front line of diagnostic and preventative procedures for the public.

 When brushing, it’s important to hold the toothbrush at a 45-degree angle and brush in a circular motion using very soft and light strokes.

One should make sure the bristles are not just on the tooth itself but that they get under the gums to remove any plaque that may be hiding underneath.

Prosthodontist:

 If one develops any pain or sensitivity in their teeth, they should not ignore this problem and should immediately contact their dentist.

Periodontist:

 Once a child’s first molars come in, it’s a good idea to ask your dentist if your child should see an orthodontist. Early intervention is always important and can make a significant difference to oral health.  If one has a fear of seeing the dentist, there are options to help them feel comfortable. Seek a dentist who is certified in oral sedation—one of the three sedation methods dentists use to help calm patients down during dental procedures.  Since the onset of COVID, we’ve seen an increase in patients bruxing (grinding) and clenching their teeth, which has resulted in patients cracking and breaking teeth in different parts of their mouth. This increase is most likely due to the many types of stress accrued in people’s daily lives due to the disruption wrought by the COVID pandemic.

As a preventative measure, consult with your dentist to see if you should be fitted for a night guard for bruxing or NTI (or similar appliance) for clenching.

Specializes in treating complex dental and facial matters in cosmetic dentistry, or treatments to improve the appearance of teeth.

Treats and repairs disease and problems of the gums and bone that support the teeth.

Endodontist:

Deals specifically with issues troubling the nerve of a tooth. They are qualified to perform root canals necessitated by decay around the tooth’s nerve.

Oral Surgeon:

Specializes in the treatment of oral diseases of the teeth and jaws. They are trained to perform surgery.

Pediatric Dentist:

Specializes in dental care and treatments for children and youth.

Orthodontist:

Specializes in tooth and jaw alignment, using wires, braces, clear aligners, retainers, and other devices.

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WELLSPRING COMMUNITY

Joint Pain

In this space, we feature a health-related question or predicament submitted by a Wellspring reader. Fellow readers are invited to participate in the conversation by sharing their tried-and-true advice and suggestions. Join the community!

Around this time of year, when I’m on my feet for long stretches of time trying to do a lot of housework, I end up feeling my joints—mainly in my feet—too much. I’m not suffering from arthritis or other jointrelated illnesses. Any solutions for everyday joint discomfort?

Take care of yourself these days! Eating normally, sleeping well, and unwinding at least once a day will make you feel like a different person. For years, I struggled with Erev Pesach. I would collapse at the Seder, foggy headed and full of aches. Two years ago, I listened to a life-changing lecture on what Pesach is really about. That year, I made a decision to come to the Seder night royally, feeling empowered rather than haggard. I learned the halachos of Pesach cleaning and decided to forgo certain parts of my yearly Pesach-cleaning routine. I also made sure to take care of myself for a few minutes every day. One of my self-care decisions was that every few days I had a masseuse come to my house to give my joints and bones a much-needed boost. I cannot describe the difference I felt that year. I would encourage you to think about your Pesach-cleaning routine and how you can change it. If you have a few minutes to spare, I’d advise you to run for a massage or take a long bath. This can greatly alleviate your joint pain, and at the same time rejuvenate you emotionally.

- Leah Indig, Monsey 72

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Low calcium and magnesium levels can often be the cause of joint pain. You may want to take a blood test to check your levels, or just take some calcium and magnesium supplements. Take into consideration that magnesium can cause diarrhea, so it’s recommended to start with a lower dosage. (I was given a high dosage and suffered tremendously until this was sorted.)

Checking vitamin D levels is also a good idea because vitamin D deficiency can also cause joint pain. You also mentioned that you don’t suffer from any joint-related illnesses, but joint pain can be a symptom of many other conditions. A thorough round of blood tests will help rule out strep, Lyme disease, thyroid issues, etc.

- B. Goldstein, Williamsburg

After trying various solutions for my chronic knee pain, I saw major results when I started taking glucosamine supplements. The pain completely subsided, baruch Hashem. When I stopped taking them, it started again so it was clearly the right supplement for my issue. I know some other people with joint pain who experienced relief after taking this supplement.

For me, a side effect of the kosher brand was extreme constipation. I asked a shailah and was told that it’s okay for me to use the unsupervised alternative. Consult with your rabbinic authority regarding this matter.

- Freeda M.

Sometimes the discomfort occurs because the joints have become stiff and they’re in need of some loosening. For me, the best treatment is yoga. After a couple of sessions, I saw a major improvement with my joint pain. Certain yoga moves are especially helpful for joint pain relief; a good instructor can help you with that.

One of my relatives, who suffers from arthritis, also experienced major relief after doing yoga classes.

Are you working too hard? Are you doing too much exercise? If you work out your muscles and joints excessively, they get tired. If you are kneeling too often, for example, try to avoid that and use a mop, standing vacuum cleaner, etc., instead. If you’re doing high-intensity aerobic exercises, look into proper warm-up movements so they don’t affect your joints. Paradoxically, some exercises can be great for joint pain. If you have access to a pool, swimming provides tremendous relief for joint pain. Water aerobics can help you feel like a different person.

- Malka G., Certified Fitness Trainer

I remember my mother suffering from joint pain in her knees for several years consecutively on Erev Pesach. After being examined by a doctor, she got her diagnosis: “housemaid’s knees.” Believe it or not, it’s got an official medical term too: prepatellar bursitis—inflammation in the knee sacks, usually caused by too much kneeling. The doctor didn’t have much to offer besides telling my mother to rest. When we finally convinced her to hire more cleaning help and leave the heavy cleaning to other people, she stopped feeling the joint pain every year.

Reflexology is an excellent intervention for joint pain. I’m talking from personal experience and from having treated many satisfied clients. Reflexology helps the blood circulation, which in turn relieves joint pain. Recently, a relative of mine shared how much she suffers from joint pain, and I convinced her to try reflexology. Baruch Hashem, she saw wonderful results and is so thankful that I pushed her to do this.

Definitely worth trying! On a similar note, reflexology works very well for carpal tunnel syndrome, another common joint issue.

- Gitty Friedman, Certified Reflexologist

- Esther B.

I can totally relate! My joints flare up badly whenever I work too hard, and yes, Erev Pesach always has me with aching joints. Heat and cold both really alleviate my joint pain. I make sure to take a hot shower or bath as soon as I feel the aches coming. Sometimes I place a heating pad on the joint (usually my knees) for a few minutes, and I immediately feel a difference. Alternatively, I grab an ice pack—or any frozen item I have available and place it on the area. The results are amazing. I hope this works for you too. Hatzlachah!

-Name Withheld

I always suffer from joint pain for three months after I give birth. The reason? Lack of sleep! With my colicky infants, I can’t get much sleep during the first few weeks.

On days when I’ve had a better night, I feel the joint pain much less than when I’ve had sleepless nights. Maybe try to get some more sleep. If your nights aren’t too long, a short nap during the day can go a long way in alleviating your pain.

- Another Hardworking Mom

Next Up: Since I had COVID-19 last year, I still haven't fully regained my senses of taste and smell.

I would appreciate hearing what has worked for others in this predicament as this is seriously impacting my quality of life.

Want to share what worked for you with a fellow Wellspring Community member?

Send your response to info@wellspringmagazine.com.

Please note: These suggestions should not be implemented in place of guidance from a medical practitioner.

- Faiga H., Far Rockaway

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73

DEBATE

NEW COLUMN!

DIETITIANS DEBATE

Facilitated by Leah Wolofsky, RD, Esq.

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What’s your take on the “Health at Every Size” approach?

The Health at Every Size (HAES) approach, which has been gaining considerable traction over the past few years, suggests that people can be healthy at any size—and that “thinner” does not necessarily imply “healthier.”

This movement supports people at whichever size they appear to be and suggests body acceptance over a focus on losing weight. Do you believe that people can be healthy at any size?

registered dietitian in Boca Raton, Florida, who works as a clinical dietitian in a hospital.

No. I am opposed to the idea that every size is healthy, but I do think many different sizes can be healthy.

Bonnie Balk, registered dietitian in Hollywood, Florida, who specializes in diabetes, heart disease, and healthy living.

I believe that living an overall healthy lifestyle includes listening to your hunger cues, becoming a mindful eater, and enjoying the food instead of stressing over it. Also, I have found that when individuals are so focused on weight, they often become “yo-yo dieters,” hopping from diet to diet without success.

Mia Levy, registered dietitian in Brooklyn, New York, who works with renal failure/kidney disease patients.

Yaffa Lvovi, I am against the Health at Every Size movement because significant research does indicate that being overweight can lead to many health issues, such as diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure.

Tara Milhelm, Manhattanbased registered dietitian who specializes in treating clients with eating disorders and in general nutrition.

Arizonabased registered dietitian, who specializes in pediatric and family care.

I am a proponent of the Health at Every Size movement because I see weight as a possible symptom, rather than a problem in and of itself.

Weight loss as a health goal is often misguided and detrimental.

Yes.

Stephanie Greenspan,

Wherever someone’s weight falls when they’re eating normally (three meals and 1–2 snacks per day, while paying attention to hunger and fullness cues) is where their weight is meant to be.

registered dietitian in Bergen County, New Jersey, who works with endocrinology patients.

With increasing weight comes increased risk for diabetes and hypertension, among other long-term illnesses. I am anti the idea of labeling someone by just their size. Someone can appear fit, but the lab work may not reflect that. Contrarily, weight is correlated with health risk.

What topic would you like to see debated? Let us know by writing to info@wellspringmagazine.com.

Michal Bane,

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OT@HOME

NEW COLUMN!

ADHD

&

Anxiety

Are They Pieces of the Same Puzzle?

by Miriam Frankel, OT

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and anxiety are often interrelated, creating confusion both for therapists and parents. Sometimes children suffer from anxiety concurrently with ADHD, but sometimes, it is the medications being used to treat ADHD symptoms that cause the anxiety.

Children with ADHD have difficulty with attention and focus. Many children, consciously or unconsciously, feel ashamed or frustrated for making adults upset by their lack of self-control or attention challenges. Their lack of focus doesn’t fit with societal and educational norms and expectations, causing the adults in their lives to react harshly, compounding their anxiety.

Here are three techniques to help children through the anxiety that results from the disapproval around them:

breathing

Acupressure

Encourage the child to practice long, soft exhales in order to bring their body to a more relaxed state, rather than the shallow, short inhales that cause more anxiety.

Very gently press with your fingers on the top of the eyebrows in the middle, then on the two sides of the eyes and then under the eyes. Under the eyes is often found to be the most calming.

Trigeminal nerve tapping Tap lightly with small jumps of two fingers toward the center of the forehead and then back to the temples. Use the same motion from the temple along the cheek bone to the bridge of the nose, and back to the temple. Then from the temple, below the eye bone, to under the nose and back to the temple. Then from the temple, on top of the jaw line, to the cleft of the chin and back to the temple and then around the ears. Repeat 5–7 times.

These exercises can be used as an opportunity to help the child with ADHD muster their potential to attend to the best of their ability.

Parents and teachers can further help by gaining awareness of the impact of unrealistic expectations of a child with ADHD. These make them feel like they will never measure up and be able to please their parents/ teachers, causing anxiety over their impulsive and hard-to-control behaviors and only compounding their attention difficulties. When adults do their part to make meaningful connections with their ADHD child or student, and use techniques to help them, they can empower them to escape the cycle of anxiety.

Miriam Frankel (formerly Manela) is a highly sought-after occupational therapist who specializes in treating mental and behavioral challenges in both adults and children. She is the founder and director of both her private clinic in Passaic, New Jersey (The Thrive Group) and an online learning platform (online-bloom.com) where parents, caregivers, and educators can access the tools they need to help their struggling children from the comfort of their homes.

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77

FEATURE

anis Htets!

by Dr. Chayala Englard, Pelvic Physical Therapist 78

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an Updated View of Pain “Pain is a normal human experience. Without the ability to experience pain, humans would not survive. Living in pain, however, is not normal” (from the introduction to Why Pelvic Pain Hurts).

Traditionally, body tissue—such as muscles, organs, joints, bones, and ligaments—has been blamed for almost all pain. Over the past 10–15 years, though, the focus has shifted. It is now understood that chronic pain is primarily generated due to central sensitization, a neural condition that develops from changes within the central nervous system (spinal cord). These conversions cause the spinal neurons to be in a state of hyperexcitability, with a lower nociceptive (pain) threshold. This means that even after tissue healing has occurred, the body can go into a state of persistent hypersensitivity, and the patient will continue to experience pain even with low provocation.

central sensitization

allodynia

hyperalgesia

Pain experienced by a normal stimuli

When a painful stimuli is perceived as more painful than it should normally

Source: Physio-Pedia

Let’s understand this in simpler terms. The nerves work like an alarm system. At all times, our nerves are somewhat “on” to keep the car (body) on cruise control (alive). The nerves’ activity will be heightened depending on outside and inside influences, such as movement, hormones, touch,

temperature, and stress. Once the nerves are activated enough, a message is sent to the brain for decoding. The brain then decides the threat level based on its previous experiences and knowledge of similar situations. If deemed necessary, the brain will send a message to the body for required action.

A common example of this phenomenon is when we place a hand over a flame. The hand feels extreme heat and sends a message to the spinal cord, which sends a message to the brain. The brain has been taught that flames cause burns (“Aish is fire, and fire is hot…”) and therefore sends a message to the hand to retract. That’s an amazing system! It works like your own personal bodyguard.

Save for Later Pain, we understand, is produced by the brain as a protective mechanism. But let’s look at a different scenario to understand its more complex operation. What happens if, while someone is crossing the street, they twist their ankle? As that is happening, they notice a speeding garbage truck heading straight at them. Will the ankle hurt?

Of course not. The brain has no time to deal with an ankle sprain, as pausing even for a moment to attend to the ankle may end up in fatality. Once the truck has passed, the brain will then deem it safe enough to send pain signals down to the ankle so it can be addressed.

A common complaint, especially by women in their childbearing years, is that lower back pain tends to be worse at night. Let’s think about this in relation to the above scenario. This mom is juggling a giant list of tasks throughout the day. Finally, nighttime arrives. The kids are in bed. The work is done. The brain can now safely send pain signals for the back so that action to be taken. Does it mean that the back wasn’t “hurting” all day? Not necessarily. It’s just that the brain was too busy with other, more important, tasks. The pain at night is very, very real. So is it the tissue or is it the pain?

The Pain-Stress Connection “Tissue injury and pain are two different things. You can have pain, but no tissue injury. You can have an injury,

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but no pain” (Reframe Pain: Change Your Brain, Change Your Pain).

A common complaint, especially by women in their childbearing years, is that lower back pain tends to be worse at night. Let’s think about this in relation to the above scenario.

How can that be? Cortisol, the stress hormone, is activated when the brain perceives a threat. This triggers the autonomic nervous system, the “fight-or-flight” response (the opposite of rest and digest).

When this response is activated for long periods of time, it can effect changes in mood, appetite, fatigue, weight gain, sleep disturbances, and digestive issues. All those are not considered vital for survival in a time of threat, but they all further sensitize the system due to the discomfort they cause. At the same time, the immune system is triggered to produce immune cells—an achy process that adds to the general feeling of unwellness—and the blood flow is rerouted from posture muscles to help out the big running and fighting muscles. Since some of the main posture muscles are the pelvic floor muscles, urination, elimination, and other related functions, are all affected when posture muscles are out of order.

What happens when someone experiences continuous release of cortisol and an extra-sensitive alarm system?

The car starts over-heating. The same tasks that used to be pain free now cause pain, take double as long to perform, and stress out the individual. This, in turn, makes them shy away from being active, which further limits blood flow and stiffens the tissues. Consequently, the neighboring tissues will also become sensitive to touch and movement, all of which often affects sufferers emotionally, as well.

Becoming gradually more limited in their ability to engage in routine activities and social interaction can contribute to feelings of loneliness, sadness, and anxiety.

Close the Faucet First Think of a bathtub. Now picture a bathtub that is overflowing with water. The faucet is on full blast. The drain

is closed. The floor is totally flooded.

Logic would dictate that we shut the water and open the drain. The medical world, however, has a tendency to grab a mop and attempt to whoosh the water away (medication, tests, surgery, etc.).

Let us instead turn down the faucet and slow the water. Or better yet, close the faucet and open the drain. So begins the journey to recapture your

life from pain.

Research has shown that the more an individual understands pain, the less threatened they feel by it. This will decrease the alarm system and cause the brain to feel less protective, which will in turn decrease the level of pain signals sent back down to the bodily tissue.

The best forms of treatment will address both the tissue and the pain. Physical therapy, chiropractic, therapeutic massage, acupuncture, and dry needling, for example, are all methods that physically address the tissue and reduce inflammation. Exercise, cardio, yoga, stretches, and strengthening are all wonderful ways to promote blood flow, loosen joints, flex muscles, and boost immune and endorphin response. Meditation, breathing, journaling, and visualization (which helps the brain “see” movement with no pain), sleep training, and stress management are also imperative for complete healing.

So, if you’d like to liberate yourself from the pain you’re experiencing, here’s what you can do: • Set goals.

• Trust the process.

• Find the right support: medical, emotional, and physical.

• Educate yourself.

• Daven.

And you’ll be on your way to a more joyful, pain-free, and fulfilling life.

Recommended Reading Why Pelvic Pain Hurts: Neuroscience Education for Patients with Pelvic Pain. By Adriaan Louw, PT, PhD; Sandra Hilton, PT, SPT, MS; Carolyn Vandyken, PT, Cred MDT, CCMA (acup) Reframe Pain: Change Your Brain, Change Your Pain. By Carolyn Vandyken

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Heart.Works

Product of USA

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FITNESS

MAKE IT AN

EXPRESS WORKOUT

By Chaya Tziry Retter, BS, CPT Chaya Tziry Retter is a Monsey-based nutritionist, fitness instructor, and ACE-certified personal trainer. She has a bachelor of science in human nutrition management and is currently pursuing her registered dietitian credential. She is passionate about helping others lead healthier lives in a way that suits their needs. She can be reached at 845-540-4487.

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The Recipe You Need This Yom Tov For most of us, Pesach brings with it a hectic season of cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, and endless to-do lists. The kids are home and there’s usually someone around that’s hungry. That doesn’t leave you with much time, does it?

These factors can easily lead you to getting off-track from your exercise standards and pushing things off until everyone is back to routine.

But at that point, you may face an uphill battle just to get back into it and your body will probably have a harder time readjusting to a basic fitness plan.

Since exercise offers a plethora of benefits — not only physical — the first thing to do is figure out a way for you to get in your 5-, 10-, or 15-minute fitness “express” workouts, either daily or a few times a week, so you stay on track. Think through your basic schedule for the upcoming day and decide where you’d be able to realistically fit in some extra movement time: Is it early morning when the house is still quiet? Is it late at night when you have some time to yourself? Or maybe after serving lunch or in between laundry loads?

Whenever the time is, think about how you usually feel then. Are you energized in the morning and ready to get some blood pumping? Are you exhausted at night and want to just stretch and relax? Do you need some movement to get you through the second half of your day? Realistically, whatever you generally feel at that point of the day won’t change just because you decide to use that time to work out. Therefore, it’s a good idea to choose a routine that suits your mood and energy levels at that given time.

Let’s take a look at a sample formula for putting together a well-balanced “express” workout.

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FITNESS

Warm Up

Here’s another sample of an “express” workout.

Do anything that gets your heart rate starting to rise, while opening up the limbs and muscles to prepare for the workout (1 minute).

Stretch

Cardio Choose from any standard cardio activity: high knees, stationary running, jumping jacks, kickboxing, jumping rope, etc.

(2 minutes).

Strength Work Pick your favorite stretch challenge: high planks, low planks, sit-ups, crunches, push-ups, “Supermans” alternating knees and elbows, etc. (2 minutes).

Cardio Choose from any standard cardio activity: high knees, stationary running, jumping jacks, kickboxing, jumping rope etc.

(2 minutes).

Cool-down Use any soft and releasing poses or movements to help your blood pressure and heart rate drop while relaxing the tense muscles (1 minute).

Hold some deep stretches in the arms and legs to get the muscles flexed (1 minute).

Yoga Poses Choose any two or three classic poses like downward dog, cat/cow, cobra, pigeon, warrior, etc. and hold each for 30 seconds. Preferably choose those that challenge the core and/or arms and legs to get in a “workout” within the relaxation (3 minutes).

Relaxation Do one or two long-held deep relaxation positions like being prone on the ground, or even in child’s pose, held for 30 seconds each (1.5 minutes).

You know what happens when you go grocery shopping without a list, and you wouldn’t bake a cake without a recipe.

Think of your fitness routine in the same way. It’s hard to just “wing it” when you feel under pressure to fit something effective into just a few precious minutes. Often, we don’t know where to start and having some extra time on our hands may just lead us elsewhere. If you figure out the workout plan ahead of time, you should be able to fit in a little bit of everything. The key is writing down the sequence beforehand so that you don’t look at the clock and say, “Hmm I should really do some exercise. Oh well!” and then just move on. Jot down the ideal workout formula for you and keep it handy.

If we have a plan and a good workout “recipe,” we’ll be able to realistically fit it into our day. Knowing that you’re combining the specific parts of cardio with strength training and keeping to the time you set will help you stay motivated and consistent. Advance preparation will help you stick to the goal like everything else on your to-do list.

And of course, feel free to mix and match according to your mood. You can partner up with someone and swap ideas, or follow the same routine to keep each other engaged and motivated. Remember to cap it within time constraint you have so that you don’t run overtime and then regret those important minutes— because especially during this busy season, every second really does count.

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ASK THE NUTRITIONIST

By Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

Nice and Tall 86

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Q

Can the foods I feed my child fuel optimal growth?

My husband’s family is on the shorter side. I recently began introducing solids to my oldest child and am receiving an outpouring of advice from my in-laws. They keep telling me about the importance of feeding my son enough protein to promote his growth, considering his genes. This concept is new to me.

Is it true that nutrition can impact growth? If yes, which foods would you recommend?

Your question is quite common; one I often receive from clients.

Practically speaking, it’s unlikely that specific food choices will prompt a child to grow taller than he is genetically designed to be

by Hashem, of course, but offering him the right balance of nutrients—including total calories, carbs, protein, fat, vitamins, and minerals—will maximize his growth potential. Conversely, poor nutrition can result in delayed—or even permanently stunted—growth in children.

As you mentioned, protein is a big factor. MedlinePlus notes that children who consume too little dietary protein may not reach their full growth potential. The Institute of Medicine suggests that children aged 1–3 should consume 13 grams of protein daily; children aged 4–8, at least 19 grams; and children aged 9–13, a minimum of 34 grams of dietary protein daily. Protein-rich foods include lean meats, fish, turkey, chicken, eggs, soy products, dairy foods, legumes, nuts, and seeds. High-protein foods from animal sources may be especially beneficial in helping kids grow to their full potential, according to a 2003 study published in Journal of Nutrition.

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ASK THE NUTRITIONIST

In addition to consuming a variety of nutrient-dense foods, getting plenty of calories is essential for proper growth in children—and can boost growth in kids who were previously malnourished. Dietary Guidelines for Americans, 2010 estimates that kids aged 2–3 require 1,000–1,400 calories daily, children aged 4–8 require 1,200–2,000 calories a day, and kids aged 9–14 need about 1,400–2,600 calories daily. The more active your child is, the more calories he needs to maximize his growth and development, and boys generally require more calories than girls. Keep in mind that each child is different, and these are just basic guidelines. If you have any specific questions about a particular child, consult with your pediatrician or another health professional.

On the topic of pediatric nutrition, here’s another important and interesting point. Usually, children are very attuned to their nutrition needs and will not ignore hunger cues. Our job as parents is to make sure a variety of nutritious foods is available for them. Some children naturally gravitate toward the healthy food options, but all children can eventually develop a liking to nutritious foods. It might be frustrating in the beginning, but remember: it takes 10–15 tries for a child to develop a preference to a “new” food, so it pays to be patient and gently help them cultivate it. As children mature, so do their taste buds and they may be willing to tolerate more foods. That’s good news for those struggling with a picky toddler or young child.

However, the earlier you expose them to healthy foods, the sooner they will opt for those foods and consume their much-needed nutrients.

Adequate amounts of vitamins and minerals on a daily basis also play a vital role in maximizing a child’s rate of growth. Although all micronutrients are important for children, according to a 2010 study published in Journal of Pediatric Endocrinology and Metabolism, key nutrients for growth acceleration in children include iron, zinc, and vitamin A. Iron and zinc are abundant in lean red meats, dark-meat chicken, legumes, and iron- and zinc-fortified breakfast cereals. Vitamin A–rich foods include sweet potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, spinach, pumpkin, peppers, cantaloupe, and mangoes Milk and other dairy products may also help kids (who aren’t lactose-intolerant) grow as tall as they are genetically designed to be. A 2006 study published in Public Health Nutrition found that consumption of cows’ milk and other dairy foods is associated with higher insulin-like growth factor in children, and with increased leg-bone length in boys. According to the Dietary Guidelines for Americans, most kids need 2–3 cups of dairy foods daily, depending on their age and suggested total calorie intake.

Calcium, the most abundant mineral in the body, max88

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imizes bone growth and shores up the skeleton during childhood and beyond. A small but significant amount of calcium in the bloodstream is needed for a normal heartbeat, blood clotting, and muscle function. The body draws the calcium it needs from bones to maintain blood levels, which is partly why children need adequate calcium every day.

Unfortunately, research reveals that many kids don’t get enough of this vital nutrient for their nutritional needs.

Keith-Thomas Ayoob, RD, associate professor in the department of pediatrics at Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York, says, “American kids are suffering from a calcium crisis, and it does not bode well for their bone health—now or in the future.”

Teenage girls in particular are among those with the lowest calcium intake relative to their needs. Calcium deficiency is especially problematic during adolescence, when the body forms about half the bone mass it will ever have.

Consistently coming up short on calcium during these years is one of the risk factors for developing osteoporosis decades later, even more so for females, who are at greater risk for the condition. While dairy foods are an excellent source of calcium, this essential mineral is also plentiful in plant products such as fortified orange juice and fortified almond milk beverages, as well as tofu.

Vitamin D is important for the absorption of calcium to help form and maintain strong bones. Milk fortified with vitamin D is one of the few dietary sources of Vitamin D. Children over age one should drink 32 ounces of fortified milk each day or get other sources of vitamin D. For these children, the AAP recommends 400 IU/day of vitamin D. One other important component of a child’s healthy diet is fiber. Children need fiber as much as adults do for good nutrition and healthy growth—but they usually get way less. Fiber’s confirmed benefits for kids include fending off constipation and promoting fullness. High-fiber foods, including whole grains, legumes, fruits, and vegetables, keep kids satiated for longer stretches of time. And fiber-filled foods are rich in vitamins and minerals too.

To estimate the fiber intake required for your child, use the method endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics. Simply add five to your child’s age to determine daily fiber needs in grams. For instance, a 13-year-old requires about 18 grams per day.

Having a number in mind helps when you read food labels, but it’s not necessary to track every gram of fiber (or any other nutrient) your child eats; just do your best to have whole grains, fruits, and vegetables available to your child every day.

How Much Protein in This Food?

In my practice, I have found that increasing healthy fat helps increase rate of growth when a child is lagging behind. Try incorporating more nuts, nut butters, and avocado, and seeds such as flax, hemp, and chia. Additionally, use oils like avocado and olive so your child can get the healthiest fats. Some children may be advised to drink nutrition supplement shakes to check off all requirements, but I would only recommend this route after seeing a child and determining his need for it.

Of course, it’s always helpful to lead by example. Children who observe healthy eating patterns in their parents are exponentially more inclined to make those choices too.

Most importantly, don’t stress over what your child needs and doesn’t need. Investing tense energy will only make the issue greater than it is. Your best bet is to try to provide as much color from fruits and vegetables as possible from a young age, do what you can, and then take a hands-off approach.

With time, and if the food looks appealing to them, most children will come around, acquiring a taste for at least some nutrient-dense foods. If you see that there seems to be a growth problem, get advice from a professional as to how to proceed.

Food (Animal Derivative)

Grams Protein

Food (Vegetarian)

Grams Protein

Beef

26

Peanuts (1 oz.)

7

Turkey

26

Walnuts (1 oz.)

4

Ground Meat

20

Peanut Butter (2 Tbsp.)

8

Chicken Light

26

Sesame Seeds (1 oz.)

5

Salmon

18

Sunflower Seeds (1 oz.)

6

Cottage Cheese (1/2 cup)

14

Flaxseeds (1 oz.)

6

Cheddar Cheese (1 oz.)

7

Tofu (6 oz.)

12

String Cheese (1 oz.)

6

Soybeans (1/2 cup)

11

Mozzarella (1 oz.)

7

Soy Milk (1 cup)

7

Goat Cheese (1 Oz.)

6

Kidney Beans (1/2 cup)

8

Whole Milk (1 cup)

8

Lentils (1//2 cup)

9

Skim Milk (1 cup)

8

Chickpeas (1/2 cup)

10

Low-Fat Plain Yogurt (1 cup)

10

Split Peas (1/2 cup)

8

Low-Fat Fruit Yogurt (1 cup)

10

Tofu (5 oz.)

10

Frozen Yogurt (1/2 cup)

3

Oatmeal (1 cup)

6

Egg (1)

6

Pasta (1 cup)

7

Brown Rice (1 cup)

5

Bulgur (1 cup)

6

Whole-Wheat Bread

5

Laura Shammah MS, RDN, has been operating a private practice in New York and New Jersey for over 20 years. Her clientele runs the gamut from people with eating disorders to those dealing with hypertension, high cholesterol, diabetes and cancer. She also helps clients who run in marathons or are looking to lose or gain weight in a healthy way. Her nutritional guidance is published in MaryAnne Cohen’s book Lasagna for Lunch: Declaring Peace With Emotional Eating. Laura can be reached at 718-376-0062 or Laurashammah@aol.com.

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WE’RE LOSING HIM! IT SEEMED OUR FIRSTBORN SON WOULD NEVER RECOVER

AS TOLD TO ROIZY BAUM

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LOOKING BACK, WHAT WAS FRIGHTENING ABOUT THE ORDEAL WAS THE SPEED AT WHICH IT OCCURRED. IT ALL HAPPENED SO QUICKLY; WE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A MINUTE TO PROCESS IT.

After a fun-filled family Shabbos away, we returned to our apartment in happy spirits ready for another week of a seemingly never-ending summer vacation.

On Sunday, my three-year-old Shaya’s friend came to stay with us for a few days because his mother was abroad. The two played beautifully together. As they entertained each other for hours, the two-is-easierthan-one principle proved to be true.

On Monday, they joined me on my grocery trip. I still have this short video where both are holding hands, skipping home together.

The next day, on Tuesday, Shaya went to day camp like every other day. When I came to pick him up at

1:30, his rebbi informed me, “Shaya fell asleep on the floor today. Was he up at night? And he also wet his pants.”

It was strange that he’d fallen asleep in day camp and even stranger that he’d wet his pants. At that point, he’d already been trained for both day and night for about a year.

“Maybe he’s not feeling well,” I told the rebbi, assuming it was a 24hour virus or something that would pass quickly.

But when I lifted him up, I literally recoiled when I felt his forehead. It was on fire. He wasn’t up to walking either, so I took my one-year-old out of the stroller so Shaya could sit.

As soon as I stepped into the house, I took his temperature. It was a whopping 106! Although Shaya had never run such a high fever, I chalked it up to a strep infection. The rapid and regular culture, though, were both negative.

I gave him a dose of Motrin to bring his fever down, and in no time, he was asleep in my husband’s bed.

I turned to my husband, who was spoon-feeding yogurt to my toddler.

“Give it a few hours and he’ll be bouncing off the bed,” I reassured him.

“And we’re in for fun tonight!” he replied. It was 4:00 p.m., and we both dreaded the pumped-up, too-rested boy who would surely awaken

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bright-eyed at 6:00 with energy to entertain us until the wee hours.

The kid knew what he was talking about.

She reassured me. “No need to come in if he’s responsive.”

But in hindsight, that would’ve been nice, because after three hours passed—and then four—and Shaya still wasn’t waking up, our concern grew. His fever had definitely broken, I could feel, but he wasn’t snapping out of the sleepiness.

Still, I thought I’d manage to shake him out of it. “Let’s go to the grocery!” I announced, aiming for an upbeat tone. But as soon as we stepped out of the house, he complained of a headache and nausea and threw up all over the doorstep.

When things weren’t looking better the next morning, I made an appointment at the doctor.

WITH JUST A PILLOW ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR, HE SLEPT FOR BOUTS OF A FEW MINUTES ONLY TO WAKE UP AND REPEAT. “I HAVE A HEADACHE, I’M SO NAUSEOUS! I NEED TO THROW UP.” AND AGAIN, HE WAS TRUE TO HIS WORD. After close to five hours, his eyes fluttered open. “I have a headache.

I’m so nauseous,” he exclaimed in a faraway, peculiar voice. And then he threw up.

From then, a cycle began. With just a pillow on the kitchen floor, he slept for bouts of a few minutes only to wake up and repeat. “I have a headache, I’m so nauseous! I need to throw up.” And again, he was true to his word.

Since he had always been very specific about what hurts him and where, we just knew that a headache is a headache and nausea is nausea.

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I ended up carrying him the entire way to the store. An elderly woman carrying shopping bags stopped me.

“What’s wrong with him?” she asked, her face full of concern. “He really doesn’t look good. May he have a refuah sheleimah.”

He’ll be okay, I told myself.

We came home and Shaya spent the next 12 hours as if on repeat. A wink of sleep, a headache and nausea, followed by vomiting. In the middle of the night, his fever spiked again. “Do I need to take him to the hospital?” I asked the nurse at the urgent care center over the phone.

“Is your head hurting you?” The doctor asked Shaya after I explained his concerning behavior the previous day.

“No,” he answered, shaking his head from side to side. He looked so frail and small.

“See?” the doctor turned to me.

“Nothing’s hurting him. You’re overreacting.” He prescribed an anti-nausea medication.

“But what about his high fever?”

I asked.

The doctor shrugged it off, and then rebuked me for my alarmed state. “Fever is just the body’s way of fighting. Why do you need to check how high his temperature is?

He’s fine, he’s fine, he’s fine. Look, he even told me so himself.”

I will never forget the color of the anti-nausea medication. Until today, every time I think of the word “nauseous,” I see a pink puddle on the floor. It was a repetitious cycle of administering anti-nausea syrup, Shaya abruptly announcing his headache and nausea, which was followed by a pink puddle on the floor. Other than that, he slept for 22 hours on our kitchen floor.

This is no stomach virus, I fretted.

What was up with my son?

On Thursday morning, when Shaya had still not emerged from this frightening trance, a friend recom-

1 IN 8 COUPLES

SUFFER FROM mended a competent pediatrician. I went to her immediately. She took one look at Shaya, listened to his symptoms, and said, “This boy has meningitis.”

Meningitis? I knew it was a life-threatening illness—a cousin of mine had passed away from it a few years earlier, Rachmana litzlan—but what did this mean for Shaya and us?

“It’s probably viral because bacterial is very uncommon,” the doctor explained gently, her compassion evident. “He’d probably be a lot sicker if it was bacterial. Plus, his fever has broken.”

She sized him up again, taking in his pallor, stiff neck, dehydration, sunken eyes, and refusal to walk.

“This is definitely meningitis. But go to the hospital and just check to make sure it’s not bacterial.”

“What happens if it’s bacterial?” I asked quickly, bracing myself for the worst.

“It’s every doctor’s nightmare,” the doctor said, frowning. “And there are two things we fear about it. One, a kid shouldn’t get it, and two, we shouldn’t miss it.”

On top of everything, we needed to find placement for Shaya’s friend who was staying with us. Where could he go? Then I remembered that his father had stayed in the country.

The phone call was almost comical.

“We’re going to the emergency room for an indefinite amount of time. Can you pick up your kid?”

∂∂

I was still standing outside the doctor’s office, taking in the foreboding prognosis, when my phone rang.

“Hiiii! We just landed!”

It was my parents, who had come to be with us for their summer vacation.

I was overcome with relief. We would not have to manage this crisis alone. The knowledge that we would be surrounded by the support of my loving family brought me tremendous comfort. Thank You, Hashem.

This is part of Your master plan and I know You won’t give me more than I can handle.

INFERTILITY BUT INFERTILITY IS

EVEN MORE THAN THAT

Since no one was available to take our baby, Menachem, he joined us at the hospital. The two sat side by side in a double carriage, a cheerful, babbling Menachem and a listless Shaya, a shadow of himself. The doctor didn’t like what he saw. “Why would you put one near the other? Do you want the little one to get as sick as his older brother?”

It hadn’t even registered that I should try to keep Shaya away from other kids. Was his condition really dangerous and contagious?

The hospital staff took one look at our son when we entered the emergency room. “We’re going to take care of him right away,” they said in a way that reassured me and scared me at the same time.

They ran bloodwork and a battery of tests. Surprisingly, his blood results came back perfect, and he was not running a fever at that time.

“That’s amazing!” I said, referring to his normal body temperature. “He

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“WHAT HAPPENS IF IT’S BACTERIAL?” I ASKED QUICKLY, BRACING MYSELF FOR THE WORST. “IT’S EVERY DOCTOR’S NIGHTMARE,” THE DOCTOR SAID, FROWNING. “AND THERE ARE TWO THINGS WE FEAR ABOUT IT. ONE, A KID SHOULDN’T GET IT, AND TWO, WE SHOULDN’T MISS IT.” 94

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2022

had a fever of 106 just a few days ago!” I was sure it was a reason to celebrate.

The doctor looked at me, alarmed.

“That’s an indication that his body has stopped fighting. It’s not a good sign at all.”

After that, the chest X-ray came back fine, and the doctors prepared Shaya for a spinal tap. Luckily, a curtain shielded my eyes and heart from witnessing what our precious little boy had to endure.

INFERTILITY IS AN 8 YEAR OLD BOY Within four seconds of the spinal tap, the doctor moved the curtain aside and confirmed, “This child has bacterial meningitis.”

My breath caught in my throat.

“How do you know for sure?” I asked, surprised at the quick diagnosis.

“The fluid is so tinted and black,” he said resolutely, “it’s not even a question. The only question is what the bacteria is.”

I was standing against the wall and suddenly slid down. Sitting on the cold hospital tiles, I brought my knees to my chest and simply froze.

My firstborn son—the boy who had finally made me a mommy after three long years of waiting—had a life-threatening diagnosis. I coached myself out of the brink of despair.

We are in Hashem’s hands. It will be okay.

A moment later, Shaya opened his eyes and blurted out, “We live on...” reciting our full home address, and promptly closed his eyes again.

At that point, I suddenly realized how out of it he was. The two words on repeat were headache and nauseous and now a random expression of our home address. But the fact that he remembered our home address was yet another glimmer of hope. Shaya’s mind was on alert.

Surely he would be okay?

∂∂ Quarantine, a word only seen in novels at that time (this was in the pre-COVID days!), was suddenly very relevant for us. We were locked into a secluded room, where Shaya

was hooked up to IV—every three hours during the day and every six hours during night.

The doctor sat us down for a serious talk. “We don’t know the cause of this bacterial meningitis. But we do know that in sixty percent of cases, children suffer long-term effects.

A large percentage of children don’t make it. In the next twelve hours we’ll know if your child will make it and what his side effects will be.

Or…” He paused, leaving the unsaid words dangling.

We were young parents fearful of losing our eldest son—a bright, delicious, happy boy. It was frightening.

Fortunately, Rabbi Paysach Freedman—a noted askan—was in the hospital then. He came to sit with us and offer the chizuk we badly needed. “The Israeli hospitals know how to deal with such situations,” he reassured us. “With Hashem’s help, your son will be okay.”

DIAGNOSED W ITH LEU K EM IA

WHO NEEDS CHEMOTHERAPY

I M M E D I A T E L Y. A F T E R

T H E

SHATTERING MEETING AT SLOAN KETTERING,

HIS PARENTS WORRY

FOR HIS LIFE AND

HIS FUTURE A S A C A N C E R S U R V I V O R.

BONEI OLAM S E C U R E S F I N A N C I A L H E L P,

AND EXPEDITES

My parents were already settled in their apartment, and I left the hospital for a short time to go greet them.

TREATMENT BEFORE

“Should we go to the Kosel?” my father asked. We went.

THE CANCER

As I stood there in front of the stones, unburdening my worries and fears, a sense of calmness overtook me, and I turned around, so relieved.

I was suddenly sure that everything would be okay with Shaya, that he would live and be healthy.

T R E A T M E N T B E G I N S.

Since Shaya was born on the yahrzeit of the previous Stolin Rebbe who is buried in Teveria, my husband called a friend who lives in Teveria

HIS FERTILITY PRESERVATION

BONEI OLAM IS HERE FOR YOU TOO. WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5782

95

MEDICAL SAGA

and asked him if he could go and daven at his kever on Shaya’s behalf. He went at 6:00 p.m. At 8:30, he called my husband, “I just finished Tehillim.

Let’s hear good news!”

At that minute, my son opened his eyes and asked for food for the first time in three days.

One rugaleh, a small bottle of chocolate milk, and a few minutes of play later, Shaya fell asleep again. But asking for food was a tremendous breakthrough—the moment we realized he had made improvement: He had survived the night.

The Long Road When the IV was dripping into his stream for an hour straight, Shaya would quip, “Now I’m plugged in because I’m getting charged again.”

Because we needed to be isolated, we were given a nice private room for Shabbos. Shaya subsisted on chocolate pudding, chocolate milk, and rugelach.

“Would you put him onto IV?” I asked the nurses when they came to check up on him.

“Has he eaten something?”

“Well, if you call rugelach food, then yes,” I said.

“We don’t care what he eats. As long as he’s eating, we’re happy.”

At that point, we noticed his alertness improving. He was still complaining about dizziness and wasn’t walking, and we were still stuck in the isolation room. But we were hopeful.

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Actually, it hadn’t hit us that Shaya wasn’t walking at all. We’d carry him to the bathroom and to the sink and to the bed. Nurses in HAZMAT gear reminded us that to make sure he walked.

On Shabbos afternoon, we were finally let out of the isolation cage.

I walked around, wheeling Shaya, showing him the ward, when suddenly a doctor hurried toward us.

“You must stay in your room,” he said, sternly. “We don’t know what the bacteria is, and the culture hasn’t grown since. It might be something worse. Until we’ve figured this out, you must stay in quarantine.”

This particular doctor just threw words around as if he were talking about inanimate objects. No sympathy. No emotion. Heartless. That was when I completely broke. My son needed fresh air. He needed to see what was going on to stimulate him—and to stimulate me. How could a child remain upbeat in a secluded, airless room?

A bit later, a nurse came around to make sure we were staying in the room. I found myself baring my soul to her. “You know, this is my oldest child. He was born three years after we got married and we had been so worried we would never have a child.” The pile of tissues grew at my side. “We just…we just feel like we can’t anymore. And when people talk to us this way, it makes it so much worse. We need reassurance. We need encouragement. We just need… need to get out of the room.”

She cried with me, sympathizing like only a Jewish nurse can. “I’ll call

security to see if they can open the porch off your room,” she said. This miracle worker managed to get us permission to use it.

In fact, this nurse was one of countless miracle workers along the way. We were touched by the family members who visited around the clock; the friend who brought two pastries and two iced coffees for us every day; the Chabad girls who came to do crafts and activities with the kids; the families who came to visit with their children and distributed get well cards, treats, and prizes; the people who came to play music; the Ezer Mitzion organization that delivered hearty meals. When were so close to losing our son, every gesture from our loving nation was a comforting hug.

Glimmers of Hope Later on, at shalosh seudos, the doctors came over with news that the bacteria had grown. “Anyone who was in contact with him in the last seven days needs to take medication,” they instructed. This included his entire day camp. It also included my husband’s entire family, with whom we had spent the previous Shabbos.

Depending on their age, each exposed person was required to take one or two doses of the medication.

What followed was a mass filling out of forms and forms and more forms of all the names of people who had been in contact with Shaya. Contact tracing, and everything we became familiar with during COVID-19, they did already back then.

INFERTILITY IS A 38 YEAR OLD

HE MADE HIS WAY SLOWLY AROUND THE BENCH, EXCEEDINGLY SHAKY AND VERY UNSTEADY, BUT THOSE WERE THE FIRST STEPS HE’D TAKEN SINCE WE’D BEEN TOLD HE MIGHT NEVER WALK AGAIN.

WOMAN WHO NEEDS A UTERINE TRANSPLANT.

SHE THOUGHT SHE COULD

NEVER BE A

M O T H E R .

BUT AFTER YEARS OF

RESEARCH AND ME DIC AL ADVANCEMENT S , In the afternoon, I took Shaya outside. We were doing a puzzle on the bench, and he actually attempted to stand up. He made his way slowly around the bench, exceedingly shaky and very unsteady, but those were the first steps he’d taken since we’d been told he might never walk again.

I cried tears of gratitude.

I came back inside. On the one hand, we were so relieved he had actually walked, but on the other hand, it was devastating to contemplate how this sickness had affected him.

Would our son ever recover fully?

But after that, things continued to improve every day. Miracles!

A nurse came around with instructions, “Keep an eye on his fingers and toes.” Unfortunately, there was another patient in the ward who’d had meningitis and needed to get his fingers amputated.

One of the common side effects of meningococcal meningitis is limb amputation. A neurologist came around a few times a day to test Shaya and figure out why he wasn’t walking.

Examinations were done to test the

pressure around his brain, but they couldn’t really figure out a specific source or reason other than the fact that his body had been through a trauma.

Because it was summer vacation, the playroom on the floor was closed.

We were in touch with Kobi Isaac, a special individual who had himself suffered from a life-threatening illness as a child, and he petitioned for it to be opened. “Illnesses don’t follow the school schedule,” Kobi argued. “Just because it’s summer vacation, it doesn’t mean kids don’t need games and toys to play with—especially kids in the hospital.”

That was a huge move. Shaya spent hours and hours in that room, getting better and better each day.

Now that we knew what the actual bacteria was, he no longer needed a broad range of antibiotics and only required medication targeting the specific bacteria. With each step, we grew more hopeful. And baruch Hashem, Shaya began walking a little more and a little more.

B O N E I

O L A M

F A C I L I T A T E D

T H E

F I R S T UTERINE TRANSPLANT

I N

O U R

COMMUNITY T H I S S H E

Y E A R.

N O W

H A S

A

FUTURE AS A MOTHER.

BONEI OLAM IS HERE FOR YOU TOO. WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5782

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MEDICAL SAGA

INFERTILITY IS WHEN HOLDING A

BABY ON SHABBOS AFTERNOON, WE WERE FINALLY LET OUT OF THE ISOLATION CAGE. I WALKED AROUND, WHEELING SHAYA, SHOWING HIM THE WARD, WHEN SUDDENLY A DOCTOR HURRIED TOWARD US. “YOU MUST STAY IN YOUR ROOM,” HE SAID, STERNLY.

∂∂ One week later—the longest in our life—we were discharged from the hospital. We were grateful to leave the hospital, but it broke my heart to watch Shaya hold on to the walls for support. He’d always been an extremely athletic and flexible child.

Born a climber, he had bounded up slides at seven months old, and climbed onto tables and counters.

And here he couldn’t even walk.

My eyes filled with tears. “I just want my son to be able to dance and do all the typical things that little boys do!”

Shaya was supposed to start cheder the following week. We’d had our hearts set on sending him but there was just no way he could go at that point. Organizations tried to help us apply for special equipment, but it would take months to get the approval. My husband called our rav who suggested we try sending him to cheder without any help.

OF YOUR OWN

FEELS IMPOSSIBLE.

BONEI OLAM IS HERE FOR YOU

We followed our rav’s advice and brought Shaya to cheder. He far surpassed our expectations there, managing to get into his desk and climb over the tables. It was the best therapy for him.

After cheder, I’d take him to the park for a few hours. There he climbed a small rock-climbing wall, then steps to the slide—activities that really helped rebuild his coordination and motor skills.

Six weeks later, Shaya was looking much better, and about three months after that, he was back to his normal walking self.

BONEI OLAM SERVICES INCLUDE:

We did have to go for a follow-up hearing test and neurological exam, both of which came back normal.

Although he hadn’t lost his cognitive faculties, we couldn’t know whether his future learning would be impacted. But our brilliant, miracle boy has been left with no side effects whatsoever. Considering the warnings about the lingering effects of bacterial meningitis, the fact that Shaya came out totally, completely, perfectly fine is nothing short of a miracle.

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99

FEATURE

I T A WH I H S I W ARED E N R LEA YOU A IN N O I T I R HEALTH T NU SS CLANUT? 100

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TURNS OUT, WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW CAN HARM YOU. A FASCINATING GLIMPSE INTO HOW KNOWLEDGE IN NUTRITON PLAYS A ROLE IN OUR EVERYDAY LIVES

BY BINA GOTTDIENER

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THINK BACK TO THE LAST MEAL YOU CONSUMED, WHETHER BREAKFAST, LUNCH OR DINNER. What did your meal consist of, and why? Why did you choose that particular food and that method of preparation? What made you decide to initially purchase that food at the grocery store or restaurant?

Did that meal contribute to your overall health and nourishment? Do you know what happened to that food upon ingestion?

Our thoughts, feelings and factual knowledge of nutrition are widely influenced by numerous variables. Stop for a moment, and envision the various experiences throughout your life that have impacted your view of nutrition today. A large portion of that view has most likely been established in your formative years, whether through upbringing, home environment or schooling. Upon the onset of adulthood, the average frum individual is inundated with responsibilities, often leaving a paucity of time for learning the basic tenets of nutrition and its impact on daily living. While adequate nutrition is vital toward every stage in life, as the years progress it becomes even more crucial to ensure nutritional needs are being met. Conversely, these years are often the busiest, as women are juggling numerous obligations. High school can often be the last opportunity for many to receive a formal nutrition education, unless pursued by the individual themself.

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THE SURVEY Intrigued by the state of nutritional education in frum high schools across the globe, I conducted a small survey to further examine the existence of such classes, along with the reception by its students. Was a nutrition class the standard across frum high schools? If so, were the courses offered interesting to the students? How did the information impact the recipients? What could’ve been different about the material taught? While this survey of 30 women is a minute fraction of the frum community, it offers a tiny glimpse of the nutrition education provided for frum women in their adolescent years, and its effects on their current lives.

DID YOU HAVE A HIGH SCHOOL NUTRITION CLASS?

15 No, we did not receive any nutrition education in high school.

8 Yes, but it was naptime!

7

Yes, and it was excellent.

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IF YOU DIDN’T HAVE A HIGH SCHOOL NUTRITION CLASS, DO YOU THINK YOU WOULD HAVE BENEFITTED FROM ONE? DID YOU ATTEMPT TO EDUCATE YOURSELF ON YOUR OWN, SINCE YOU WEREN’T EDUCATED FORMALLY? My family is, and always was, health conscious so I educated myself and learned a lot by osmosis. Due to my home environment, I probably wouldn’t have learned anything new in a school nutrition class, anyways.

I was this scrawny little thing growing up. I didn't really care or ever think about nutrition when I was young. My mother prepared a hot breakfast for all of us, and we had well-rounded meals for supper.

In between breakfast and supper, I ate whatever I grabbed for a snack or bought on the way to school. The school itself served hot lunch. I never put much thought into what I was eating and how it affected me personally.

While I didn’t have a school nutrition class, I have a very health-conscious mother who can even be considered a health ‘freak’! I tried to educate myself a little bit, but after high school life got in the way, and I no longer made the time to pursue my nutritional knowledge.

My classmates and I could have really benefited from a high school nutrition class. We wanted to be healthy but with no instructions, we starved, binged and made really poor decisions that were anything but healthy and nutritious! We would’ve been so receptive to a proper nutrition education.

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We didn’t have a high school nutrition class, but I would've been happy to learn about it in a fun and encouraging way.

I would have loved to have had a nutrition class in high school. I did not attempt to educate myself as I'm not the type to read material that could potentially be boring.

I didn’t have a high school nutrition class, and I didn't miss one either. For most people, using their common sense is enough. I did not want to have any more boring classes to study for!

I would have loved to have such a class if it would have been presented in a hands-on way. I would have loved to learn how to practically eat healthier, make healthy choices, and prepare healthy foods, in a formal manner. When I was living in my parent’s home, I wasn't bothered with what I was or wasn’t eating. I was happy to eat whatever was available. Now that I have my own home, and am responsible for making the meals and stocking the pantry, I do try to make healthier choices.

I did not have a high school nutrition class, and I doubt I would have listened as a school girl. Yet, I do think it is important to educate girls about nutrition!

I definitely wish we would’ve had a nutrition class in high school! Why did we have to learn so many boring sciences that have no relevance to most of our lives (except those pursuing meteorology and environmentology, obviously). Why couldn’t we have learned science that is actually applicable to our lives; that has a direct impact? There may have been a small curriculum towards the end of 10th grade biology class, that devoted a class or two to the subject. It was considered a subject filler if the teacher had finished her biology curriculum before finals began; a way to keep us occupied until the semester was over. This was very disappointing, as we really would have benefitted and enjoyed a class like this.

I did not grow up in a health-oriented home, and did not receive a nutrition education in high school. I was always at a weight I was happy with so I never thought twice about what I was eating. Once I got married and had children, I started gaining weight. I was completely lacking the knowledge on how to eat healthy and lose weight in a balanced manner. I would drastically cut down on food only to feel faint from the one iced coffee and cupcake I was having a day. I realized that I really needed to change things if I wanted to be healthy in the long term. I wish I could have learned these skills in high school, rather than science classes that had no relevance toward my life. It would have saved me a lot of time and aggravation later on in life.

IF YOU HAD A NUTRITION CLASS THAT WAS BORING, WHAT WOULD HAVE MADE THE CLASS MORE INTERESTING? WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU WOULD’VE BEEN TAUGHT? I think a more detailed, relevant explanation of how foods are digested, absorbed, and excreted in the body, and the impact various nutrients have on different body processes. For example, learning how the body absorbs sugar and what is done with excess sugar, or the actual health benefits vitamins have upon the body versus learning a specific list. When I was in college, I learned the whole intricate process of muscle movement and found it fascinating. I wish we could have had similar opportunities in high school nutrition class.

In high school, we learned nutrition as part of the biology curriculum. Overall it was a decent class, but I found that there was too much terminology being introduced. I would have rather been educated in simple words what’s important to eat on a daily basis, and which foods to avoid on a daily basis. I wish I could’ve learned more applicable concepts that would help me live a more healthy lifestyle today. Our teacher was a grumpy old lady who really had no patience for us high school girls, or our questions. I’m currently reading a book about intuitive eating, and I find the ideology mind blowing. I sincerely wish I would’ve had access to this knowledge as an adolescent.

If there is anything teenagers should be learning, it’s these concepts. My teenage sister has the teenage version of the book and loves it! I’m happy she is learn-

ing about nutrition in an applicable way now, instead of having to wait until she is older.

We had a nutrition course the entire year of eleventh grade. The teacher was a nutritionist who had helped people within the community lose weight, yet the class itself was very boring. The only thing I remember from the material was ‘monosaccharides, disaccharides, oligosaccharides’! It was considered a joke class where everyone passed notes, did homework, or tried to socialize without getting caught. It’s a real shame that we didn’t learn more, because so many girls would have benefited from learning about nutrition in an applicable manner. While I personally grew up in a healthy, balanced home, many girls in my grade didn’t and went on to continue making poor health choices.

It’s a shame that we devoted so much time to learning irrelevant subjects, when we really could have learnt something that would stay with us for the rest of our lives. I would’ve much rather spent the time memorizing interesting nutritional facts, and how to maintain health throughout the years, rather than spend hours memorizing historical facts, or mathematical theorems. I wish my future children will have the opportunity I didn't have!

While we had a subject called nutrition, our teacher was seem-

ingly disinterested in the subject and taught everything very dispassionately. As a result, the information went in one ear and out the other, and I barely remember anything from the course.

The subject of nutrition is fascinating, so had it been presented to us in an exciting manner, we would have responded accordingly. Since our teacher didn’t care much about imparting the information, we used the class to get other work for classes done.

Our teacher was quite extreme, and advocated a very strong approach toward nutrition. She told us that many staple items were unhealthy, (i.e poultry, salmon, non-organic veggies). This was a turn-off for me and my classmates. I recall asking her how we are supposed to purchase all these ‘clean’ food products when they are so expensive. I would have appreciated a more balanced approach so we could feel that nutrition is more accessible.

I wish we would’ve been taught how healthy food affects our body aside from weight loss. I also wish we would’ve been taught how to achieve a weight loss goal in a realistic manner, rather than binging and trying fad diets. This would have been so helpful for the future.

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IF YOU HAD AN EXCELLENT NUTRITION CLASS, WHAT WAS SO GREAT ABOUT IT? WHAT WERE THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSONS YOU WERE TAUGHT?

Our nutrition instructor taught us once a week. I remember the class being great, but don’t remember much of what was learned. The only lesson I do remember is when the teacher showed us how much sugar there is in a single serving of soda.

Ever since that lesson, I only drink water!

The nutrition class we had in high school was great. It was fun for junk-loving teenagers to learn the different names of fruits and vegetables and their health benefits. It was nice to discover that there are some really delicious healthy food options, and that not all healthy food has to taste bland and boring. The class was a very hands-on experience, so we learned formally half the time and did practical food preparation. The other half of the class. This was really helpful for the future. Now that I run my own home, I feel more equipped to prepare healthy foods because of the practical experience I had in this class.

Unfortunately, the teacher was boring so she sent me to sleep, or left me no choice but to socialize with my peers. But I do remember being fascinated by the lesson where body organs were compared to a corresponding fruit or vegetable. Our teacher took us to the health food store as a final exam reward. We had lectures by some of the cool people 106

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working there, got some freebies, and each got a turn to sit in their dry aquaspa for a couple of minutes.

In our high school nutrition class, we learned about the negative components of food coloring and MSG (monosodium glutamate). Since then, I pretty much haven’t touched those ingredients. We learnt about the importance of breathing deeply to fully saturate our bodies with oxygen.

We also learned how to transition a ‘junk’ household to a ‘health’ household in the course of one year. Other subject matter included the five worst chemicals in the world, the importance of alternative skin care, body care and cleansing detergents.

The teacher also taught us about the dangers of high fructose corn syrup, the damage sugar can incur in the body, and what white flour really is. We also got to watch educational videos. The sincerity of the teacher really impacted all of the students.

As eighteen year olds, we had virtually no agenda regarding nutrition, so she took the chance to enlighten us.

While she may have been more towards the extreme side, I took whatever I could on my own journey of holistic wellness.

We did have an amazing nutrition teacher in high school. She was extremely knowledgeable and really knew the ins and outs of nutrition.

The issue with this particular teacher

was that she was a bit too extreme.

She had had medical challenges with her son which led her to educating herself about nutrition and implementing the knowledge in her own lifestyle. She went all-out and taught us how to ferment our own food. In her own home, she exclusively used organic fruits, vegetables and poultry. She gave us recipes for homemade baby wipes because according to her, the wipes sold at the stores were full of chemicals. She never used any products containing GMOs (genetically modified organisms).

While she may have been slightly radical in her approach, we were immature high school girls who didn’t fully appreciate the knowledge she had to share.

In our high school nutrition class, the teacher was incredible, but the majority of students didn’t care that much about what she had to say.

The students who were interested and paid attention really gained a lot from the course. The class took place in eleventh grade and was called ‘nutrition.’ It was in addition to standard science classes that taught about genetic disorders, mitosis, miosis, photosynthesis and other subjects throughout high school. We also learned about the dangers of tanning.

I still wish I would have paid more attention to the course, so I could benefit from the knowledge today.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT The survey respondents provided an insightful lens toward nutrition education in the frum community.

The broad consensus was that most individuals wished they would’ve been taught relevant nutrition topics in their adolescent years, which in turn would have enabled them to live healthier lifestyles in the future.

Participants expressed how they would have appreciated being taught how to make healthy choices in the supermarket and outside the home, as well as prepare healthy foods easily and maintain a healthy home. In addition, responders wanted to be taught the effect of different foods and vitamins on the body upon ingestion, and how to achieve sustainable weight loss long-term. Almost all participants agreed that a proper nutrition education in high school years is of vital importance, as food and nutrition are so deeply intertwined with our lives.

The participants who were fortunate to have great nutrition classes emphasized the impact of the teachers who gave the course. Evidently, a passionate teacher seems to be the key to a memorable nutrition education.

The teachers that were genuinely enthusiastic about nutrition yielded a similar response from their students.

The excitement they felt toward their subject concretized the material in their students’ minds. Simultaneously, some students were deterred by a teacher’s extreme approach toward nutrition, and consequently felt that a healthy lifestyle was inaccessible for the average individual. Since the teacher did not laud the microsteps necessary to a healthier lifestyle, the students felt that an ‘all or nothing’ approach was the only way.

As more and more research indicates the direct correlation between individual nutrition and health, we are learning that nutrition is not just about lifestyle, but about life. The development of chronic diseases such as coronary heart disease, diabetes and cancer have been proven to be directly associated with inadequate nutrition. The amount of disease that could be prevented with proper lifestyle choices is astounding. As Yidden, we have an obligation to care for our health and nourish our bodies so we can serve Hakodosh Baruch Hu. Every effort that we make towards living a healthy lifestyle aligns with the mitzvah of “venishmartem me’od lenafshosechem.”

THE TAKEAWAY This survey reflects a genuine desire by many in our community to lead a healthy, nutritious lifestyle. Though the want may be present, it can only be actualized when the skills are given to those who wish to achieve it.

When an individual possesses the appropriate tools to surpass the obstacles toward their goals, their chance of success grows exponentially. How can we contribute to educating our adolescents about health, in every arena? How do we promote nutrition education if we are not a principal or professor? Perhaps by beginning with our own individual actions. By demonstrating to the younger members of our community that we care about our health and are willing to invest in it, we set the example for them to follow suit. Whether that means spending the time to create healthier meals, sharing up-to-date nutrition information, or speaking positively about health, we can surely impact the next generation. While excellent nutrition education in the formative years would be a true boon to our schools, our personal actions will have to suffice until this becomes our reality.

Bina Gottdiener is a certified nutritionist, health coach and founder of Happy & Healthy Nutrition. She can be contacted via Wellspring.

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FEATURE

HOW TO FREE YOURSELF FROM

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BY DORON LAZARUS

THE SHACKLES OF INSOMNIA

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FEATURE

HE CELEBRATION OF THE YOM TOV OF PESACH IS A CULMINATION OF WEEKS, IF NOT MONTHS, OF HARD WORK. Jewish women all over the world invest their time in planning, cooking, cleaning, and concerning themselves with the myriad details involved in the preparations. And finally, on leil haseder, the family gets together for a beautiful Seder that carries on well into the night. Factor in the cleanup, and it’s almost morning by the time you can call it a day.

But what happens if—unlike everyone else in the house—you are still not able to fall asleep, again? You pay lip service to cheirus, freedom, but you feel more shackled to your insomnia than ever. You are tired but wired. You watch the clock move to 4, 5, 6, and then 7 AM; soon the baby will wake up. You have no idea, as always, how you’re going to make it through the next day. You’ll paste on a smile for your family and guests, but you feel more broken inside than ever.

You recounted in the Pesach Haggadah how the Yidden cried out to Hashem at the point of total despair 110

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in galus Mitzrayim, but at this point in your life, you’re not even sure you have the emotional energy for such a heartfelt tefillah. You feel numb, in a constant fog, enveloped in a cloud of exhaustion. You’ve just about given up hope of ever sleeping well naturally.

If this story sounds all too familiar, I’d like to share that I understand what you’re going through because I went through it myself. My personal struggle with insomnia was the most challenging hurdle I’ve ever experienced. A few nights of stress produced high cortisol levels that threw off my sleep, but when the stress calmed down, I was left with a new monster to face: sleep anxiety.

How am I going to fall asleep tonight? What will happen if I never fall asleep again?

I’d contracted the disease of insomnia—with no known cure. And to make matters worse, seeking help from well-meaning doctors and ther-

apists got me no solutions and further drilled my inner doubt that this would never be over, that nobody and nothing could cure me.

My passion for helping others achieve healthy sleep was born out of my own inability to do so. Looking back, I see insomnia as the greatest gift and teacher in my life.

It forced me to really learn about the inner workings of my body and mind, showing me that all my years of studying neuroscience and psychology at UCLA had not even begun to scratch the surface. It gave me an insight that would eventually transform into my own business and online sleep practice, where I feel blessed to be able to help clients all around the world conquer their sleep issues once and for all.

What would it mean to break free of insomnia and allow you to get your nights and your life back on track?

Let me offer some practical suggestions that helped me and can help you too to make this a reality.

TAKE EVERYTHING THE “SLEEP EXPERTS” SAY WITH A PINCH OF SALT.

YOUR BODY IS NOT LACKING SLEEPING PILLS.

Most sleep professionals I meet never struggled with sleep themselves and are giving advice based upon textbooks and studies. Focusing too much on sleep hygiene or routine without tackling the main issue of anxiety or other underlying causes can just cycle into more bad nights. Advice like sleep deprivation or keeping sleep journals may work for some, but for others it can actually fuel the mind’s obsession with getting a natural night’s sleep. Use your intuition and trust your judgment. There is no one-size-fits-all sleep solution.

Every day I speak to people who are taking over-the-counter or prescription sleep medication. While some of these drugs can help, they are rarely a great long-term solution and come with their own set of side effects, damaging long-term health consequences, and addictive properties. In the world of functional medicine, an emerging frontier in the healthcare industry, the focus is not only on treating the symptoms, but testing and getting to the root cause of why the body is not sleeping well to bring about lasting change.

YOUR THOUGHTS ARE YOURS TO CHANGE. After studying psychology for the past twenty years and having dealt with hundreds of clients from around the world, I’ve come to realize that we must take a radical stance on anxiety and other unwanted thoughts. Your mind is in your control. I’ve found that many of the conventional treatment options for anxiety involve coping mechanisms that help people process the anxious thoughts when they appear. While this is helpful, it’s often not enough. Our mind needs direction and structure. We have to rewrite the narrative in the subconscious to effect real change.

UNDERSTAND THE MIND-BODY CONNECTION WHEN IT COMES TO SLEEP. As I tell all my clients, you cannot make yourself go to sleep. In fact, the harder you try, the further you push sleep away. Our job is to create a solid foundation for both body and mind to produce a great night’s sleep naturally. And while the power of the mind is huge and can effect deep change, the best results are achieved when we allow the body to support sleep as well.

If there’s one powerful message we can draw from Yetzias Mitzrayim in relation to this issue, it’s this: hope.

When it looked like all hope was lost and the Jewish nation was about to be eradicated, that low point turned out to be their source of salvation.

The leaders of Klal Yisrael refused to bring more children into a cruel, brutal world. But Miriam saw that through the depth of the darkness was the very light at the end of the tunnel. As a young girl, she refused to surrender and continued to hold on to hope when everyone around her had already given up. It was her

BREATHE. IT’S GOING TO BE OKAY. Breathing during sleep is one of the most important factors when it comes to quality restorative rest. Snoring and apnea are incredibly common and underdiagnosed across the board. If your spouse tells you that you sound like a jumbo jet upon take off or you feel like you’re gasping for air, we have a problem. Breathing issues at night cannot be ignored. Whether you go down the traditional path of CPAPs and surgery or the more natural approach of weight loss and breathing restructuring, make sure your O2 is primed all night long.

steadfast dedication to her faith and the ability to change that inspired her own parents and the entire nation to continue their journey—leading to the birth of Moshe Rabbeinu, the redeemer himself.

To experience your salvation, you must first taste the freedom. You have to realize that your body and mind have the ability to change. I have helped clients in their eighties wean themselves off multiple sleeping pills after decades of use because they believed that they were never too old to change. Envision your goal: to fall asleep naturally and wake up

every morning refreshed, with energy. Sleep does not exist in a vacuum.

It is the totality of your physical and mental health coming together in harmony. And it is within your reach.

So first, ask yourself: Am I ready to break free of my sleeping issues?

Doron Lazarus is a Certified Sleep Science Coach, a Rapid Transformation Therapist, and the founder of Executive Sleep Consulting, an online sleep practice dedicated to transforming the sleep of his clients all over the world. He can be reached via email at doron@executivesleep.org or online at www.executivesleep.org

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By Libby Silberman

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Craniosacral Therapy

I’m thrilled to host you in my freshly cleaned-for-Pesach lab, and I’ve even got double chocolate chip macaroons and banana chips to pass around. The joys— tradition’s the name of the game!

(Is this where I get to gripe about the added stresses writers have to deal with? Why am I talking in kosher l’Pesach terms before I’ve even had to deal with hamantasch crumbs?)

As I’ve shared multiple times, I probably know as much as you do about the world of alternative health, and I’m passionately driven to discover the truths, no agendas involved.

So, when I heard an acquaintance of mine rave about craniosacral therapy (CST) on the park bench, I knew it was a go.

“Every newborn baby should be taken for a session of craniosacral therapy before any issues arise, such as colic or developmental delays.”

“You should take your anxious daughter for a few sessions of craniosacral therapy.”

“Try craniosacral therapy for your son’s speech delays.”

After hearing many such statements from this woman, I finally approached her and asked her what she believed craniosacral therapy was helpful for. Her answer? “I take my kids for craniosacral therapy for any ailment they suffer from.”

“Ummmm…seriously?” I was taken aback by the conclusiveness of her statement. “Everything, as in everything?”

“Okay, except an ingrown toenail,” she granted. “But everything else can get solved by CST.” First things first. I googled craniosacral therapy and checked out good unfaithful Wikipedia. “…CST is a pseudoscience, and its practice has been characterized as quackery. It is based on fundamental misconceptions about the physiology of the human skull and is promoted as a cure-all for a variety of health conditions.”

Ho hum. Thanks a lot.

I clicked on some other links. Most disagreed with Wiki’s take, touting CST as safe and effective for a variety of conditions. Does it help? Does it not? If it helps, what does it help for? Is it a worthy investment to pour your funds into?

If you’re a loyal Sample reader (and if not, you’ll surely learn very soon), you know there’s only one way to find out. Quit trusting Google’s controversies and follow me. We’re finally about to discover the truth.

For this trial, I contacted Zelda Trieger, who I originally interviewed in issue 64’s Cup of Tea column, and offered her the opportunity to host the experiment. As the founder and director of Integrated Therapy Group (ITG) of Airmont, New York—a reputable craniosacral therapy clinic, she was eager to join, grateful for the opportunity to share what she deems as vital information with the community.

Despite the ITG team’s eagerness to share their successes, I demanded full disclosure, the victories alongside the non-victories. After all, I’ve committed myself to the Wellspring community and I’m determined to stick to my promises.

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Let’s Meet Over a decade ago, Zelda discovered the effectiveness of craniosacral therapy when her son was cured of chronic ear infections after only three sessions of this treatment. Shortly thereafter, she underwent craniosacral therapy for her own issues, and she’s been an enthusiast ever since.

After trying to enroll in a training institute a couple of times but being unable to join since most classes took place on Shabbos, Zelda eventually created her own class with the institute’s instructor on a frum-friendly schedule. Since then, she’s sponsored 15 more training seminars for the frum community to learn more about this modality. At her therapy clinic, she and her team practice craniosacral therapy and other alternative modalities.

Over the years, Zelda has witnessed astounding success stories of clients being healed of chronic pain and other issues. In fact, on more than one occasion, other practitioners providing auxiliary treatment to her clients—such as occupational and physical therapists—“converted” to practicing craniosacral therapy after witnessing the quick and effective results.

In my conversation with Zelda, she shared many success stories of healing via craniosacral therapy.

Frankly, it sounded too good to be true. Only a proper Sample trial would do to convince a cynic like me.

The Experiment Is craniosacral therapy an effective treatment?

Integrated Therapy Group and Wellspring selected a cross section of potential clients exhibiting a range of symptoms and issues in our quest to discover which issues CST can be effective for.

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FAIG Y AGE 9

HEALTH BACKG ROUND :

How It Went Over Here are five trial participants’ journals as they experience the mystique and magic of craniosacral therapy.

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Brain injury, stroke, seizures

REAS ONS FOR SEEK ING CST TREA TME NT

Client has trouble relaxing and falling asleep and is often constipated.

She suffers from anxiety and constantly feels unsafe.

She has a processing issue and gets stuck. Needs help problem-solving and dealing with the day-to-day.

Lacks good body awareness.

SESSIO N 1

As Practitioner's take: I noticed that the mother is skeptical that change is possible. potential. part of my work with her child, I will encourage her to believe in her child's

SESSIO N 2

is Changes observed since last session (as reported by Faigy's mother): Faigy more displaying is She session. last since ly having bowel movements more frequent body. her to on connecti of sense excitement for physical touch, and an apparent

SESSIO N 3

ay Changes observed since last session: Faigy is displaying more independence in day-to-d her in do to wanted she g somethin of think to able was tasks. She initiates activity—she body. her in s sensation positive to connect to able also free time and acted on it. She was

SESSIO N 4

SESSIO N 5

SESSIO N 6

. She can Changes observed since last session: Faigy's elimination process is much smoother can think She things. new try to willing state her needs, do things on her own, and is more ings, surround of aware others, of te out of the box and is more flexible. She is considera well. as faster, and more responsive to external stimuli. She is falling asleep Changes observed since last session: Faigy took a risk and tried something she generally avoids and finds challenging. She displayed connection in a social setting. She is a lot less in her own world these days.

She is Changes observed since last session: Faigy is falling asleep easily and is less clumsy. spontamore is She ings. displaying stronger verbal skills and interest in her surround neous with her feelings, even sharing about her day without being prompted. . She is I observed that she connected beautifully with her cousins at a family gathering caring and ul thoughtf being doing better in school connecting with her classmates and is ideas. and solving toward her brothers at home. She is more creative with problem-

PRACT ITIONE R'S SUMMA RY

LIBBY'S TAKE

Faigy came in with multiple challenges connected to neurological damage.

Her mother shared concerns about her lack of independence, her inability to regulate emotions, and some physical issues. Part of my job was not just working on the client, but helping the mother really believe that her daughter could change.

A beautiful success story of recovery from the effects of brain injury via craniosacral therapy.

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: HE ALTH BA CK GR OU ND

ARYE

11 MO NT HS OL D

plets. He Arye is the first of tri ek when he was intubated for a we to RSV. was eight weeks old due

EN T EK IN G CS T TR EA TM RE AS ON S FO R SE tric reflux. ky body movements.

Client suffers from gas his body and displays jer of t par er low the in He has tightness ves one leg. on the floor, he only mo While "swimming" around

SE SS IO N 1 SE SS IO N 2

SE SS IO N 3

will respond to hard to know how Arye Practitioner's take: It's und 4–6 sessions. aro we'll see progress in CST, but I'd guesstimate ed by Arye's mother): last session (as report Changes observed since nky than usual. perly. He's also less cra pro g wlin cra d rte sta e Ary ll vomiting last session: Arye is sti Changes observed since stly calm. is excellent, and he is mo frequently. His crawling

SE SS IO N 4

y is slowly last session: Arye's bod Changes observed since slowly. His hips ard nw ess is receding dow htn tig e Th . up ing sen loo We hope to his ankles are still tight. and legs are relaxed, but two. or hin an additional session see further results wit

PR AC TIT IO NE R' S SU MM AR Y

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sion, ally fearful during our ses At first, Arye was especi the g rin hold him throughout. Du requiring his mother to e to abl d tremendously and was second session, he shifte n. He a full 50-minute sessio tolerate lying down for . Overall, ter sof got es his muscl became more flexible, and patterns. y with body movement he displayed more fluidit ed something that It seems like CST releas of Arye's body, was "stuck" in the middle his lower extremities. which led to stiffness in

TZ IP PY

AGE 12

REASO NS FOR SEEKI NG CST TREAT MENT

SES SION 1 SES SION 2

SES SION 3 SES SION 4

SES SION 5 SES SION 6

HEALTH BACK GRO UND : Tzippy is generally healthy, slightly overweight .

She exhibits unclear speech despite having gone to speech therapy for many years. She is extremely bright and socially savvy.

Client has a sliding/weak jaw Poor posture, including a hunching position Poor body awareness

Practitioner's take: I believe Tzippy has a high probability for improved wellbeing via craniosacral therapy. I'd recommend between 6–10 sessions.

Changes observed since last session (as repor ted by Tzippy's mother): Tzippy hasn't been as needy as she usual ly is and hasn't been complaining as much. Her posture is much bette r, but not perfect.

Changes observed since last session: No changes observed. Tzippy has had a slight regression and reverted to neediness, beggin g me to buy her stuff.

Changes observed since last session: Tzippy has lost some weight and her posture has improved. She seems overall happi er and while she still gets agitated by her younger sister, she has stopp ed physically hurting her.

Changes observed since last session: Tzippy's back is straighter, and she carries herself more gracefully.

Changes observed since last session: Tzippy is kinder and calmer with her siblings. We are ready to stop as we have observed sufficient positive change.

While Tzippy is very social and savvy outside of the house, her slouched body posture and poor body awareness may indicate PRA CTIT IONE R'S that she is unhappy and disconnected from herse lf. In a SUM MAR Y conversation with her mother, she shared that Tzippy always needs "things" to satisfy her and is difficult at home.

As her posture changed and she learned to deal with her emotions better, her mother reported that she was less needy for "things" and was more relaxed around her younger sister.

LIBB Y'S TAKE

Astute readers will notice that the improvements Tzippy's mom observed were not exactly the issues she came in to treat. She did not report any improvement with her weak jaw issues nor body awareness. CST has done Tzippy a world of good in the emotional sphere. Some of this may also be attributed to the fact that she spent a special hour or two with her mother at a relaxing and pampering CST session. That special feeling may have carried her through her week and improved her feeling of self-worth, which was most notably observed in her behavior at home.

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concerns : Healthy, no particular HE ALTH BA CK GR OU ND

SARA AG E 30

EN T EK IN G CS T TR EA TM RE AS ON S FO R SE

y.

I suffer from mild anxiet move on. t birth trauma so I can I'd like to heal from a pas was asymmetric and ra's craniosacral rhythm Practitioner's take: Sa T practitioners are rhythm is the rhythm CS SE SS IO N 1 faint. The craniosacral is created by the perform CST. The rhythm trained to feel as they or contract y either expand (flexion) flow of fluids when the icator of blockages. ind an faint rhythm is or ic etr mm Asy n). sio (exten ready to start of holding onto fears, I'm Sara: After a few years ter. ligh tly st session feeling instan letting go. I left our fir calmer about the sion: At first, I felt much ses t las ce sin ed erv Changes obs crept up again. th. Later, the anxiety bir and ncy gna pre 2 r N SE SS IO idea of anothe the thought of last session: I can handle Changes observed since this. can do this. I want to do SE SS IO N 3 being pregnant again. I booked and ng, bei e ns for the tim Sara terminated sessio a while later. another session of CST nt and feeling last session: I am pregna ce sin ed erv obs es ang Ch this time. handle it. It will be okay SE SS IO N 4 good about it. I feel I can more real, the last session: As it gets Changes observed since I know it's only go wrong engulfs me, but SE SS IO N 5 anxiety that things will rything is okay. in my head. Physically, eve not majorly dialed down. It's t session: My anxiety is las e sinc ed the erv h obs wit es t Chang I know tha disappear completely. But er nev ly bab 6 pro N will IO it SS y.

SE gone, and the birth. I'll be oka dle pregnancy as well as help of Hashem, I can han she during early pregnancy, h before pregnancy and st, fir At th.

When Sara came in bot bir nt and give her ability to be pregna ut abo rry f wo hal sed ond res sec exp nt. Toward the was asymmetric and fai thm rhy ral thm sac PR AC TIrhy nio ral cra the and the craniosac nt became more relaxed, TIO NE R' S of the session, the clie otional shift in her al notice a physic and em to e abl s wa I t. sen pre SU MM AR Y was more ted, and hopeful. ice feeling relaxed, valida body. Sara left the off

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As soon as that n stuck in Sara's body. bee had a um tra th bir It seems like the process her emotions. was able to move on and was released via CST, she

CH AY A REASO NS FOR SEEKI NG CST TREAT MENT

SES SION 1

SES SION 2 SES SION 3

AGE 60

HEALTH BACK GRO UND :

Generally healthy

Since I was in a serious car accident some time ago, I've experienced a lot of pain on the right side of my body.

I went through a painful divorce and would like to release some of the negativity and grief.

Practitioner's take: Chaya joined the trial with two issues, emotional and physical. We have high hopes for helping her get better through one wonderful modality.

Changes observed since last session: My back was hurting more than usual after the first session. I felt pain radiat ing down my arm.

Changes observed since last session: I came into the clinic for my craniosacral therapy session very agitated, and the session left me feeling very calm. The feeling lasted all week .

SES SION 4

Changes observed since last session: I felt much calmer, more integrated.

SES SION 5

Changes observed since last session: I am feelin g a lot less physical pain and feeling very calm.

SES SION 6

Changes observed since last session: I am feelin g happier, more relaxed than ever, and major improvement in my overall pain levels.

Chaya came here in a state of emotional distre ss after going through a divorce, plus right-sided pain due to a car accident. She PRA CTIhad to work through her fears of being independen t. Together, we TION ER'S helped her feel safe through inner dialogue and somatic emotional SUM MAR Y release. On a physical level, we worked on her lower back, back of her neck, and entire spinal column to calm her nervous system.

More than anything, she needed and was given "holding space" for her struggles, feelings, and safety in whichever way she exper ienced her challenge. Chaya reacted very well to CST and expressed that our sessio n together was the highlight of her week. She felt calm after each session, and physi cally, her pain mostly subsided.

LIBB Y'S Fascinating how one treatment helped both emoti onal and physical issues. Very likely that the physical pain had been a manifestat TAKE ion of Chaya's emoti

onal pain.

(Of course, the pain was coming from a physical event—the accident—but the pain levels may have been elevated based on her vulnerable emotional state.)

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Other Recent Craniosacral Cases from Integrated Therapy Group

SH IM M Y, 14 M ON TH S g difficulty Client was exhibitin was also He . with eating solids to be held ing nd very cranky, dema s in the er ion all day. Two practit the on T group performed CS that ed rt po re baby. The mother s wa , lids so he started eating ly, started dib re inc d an , ier happ time. walking at the same

BIN YA MIN , AG E 12 Client came in for CST for maj or academic challenges. He was very behind in basic knowledge des pite learning with a private tutor.

Practitioner noticed he lacked interest in surroundings and did not read any books or explore any stimuli. Client was seen five times and major improvement was observed. He has started rea ding, even enjoying it. He gets alon g with his younger brother and love s playing with him. He engages in questio ns and learning at the Shabbos table, which he previously avoided. He is also more perceptive and engaged in the environment and making connec tions between things he hears and sees.

SARALA, 10 MONTHS MIM I, AG E 9

Client was very short and wanted to grow taller.

After a few sessions of CST and a number of months, no change was observed.

Client was very cranky with no explanation, and slightly delayed developmentally. After one session, she calmed down completely and started crawling.

3 Y AA KO V , AG E

S H IR A , AGE 7

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Client had a weak imm une system and kept gettin g sick.

She got sick immediately following her first sessio n.

After sever al sessions, no improvemen t was obse rved.

ying emely cranky, cr Client was extr ter only explanation. Af all day with no er CST, the moth two sessions of anshe's entirely tr reported that even ttled and calm, formed. He's se ys on his own. playing with to

ESTH ER MALK A, AGE 38

CHAYA, 15 MONTHS

jumped from one thing Client had a hard time getting tasks done because she jittery and always very felt She focus. to the next without being able to day because she felt all bed in lying to taken running. She shared that she had few sessions, her a After do. to had paralyzed by the number of tasks she d completing starte She ed. improv overall level of functioning dramatically present and calm. more feeling ed projects and getting things done. She report

Client kept falling when walking, and a session of CST resolved the issue. This client was also treated at 8 months old and started crawling shortly thereafter.

CH AIM , 2 MO NT HS ll. He Client wasn't nursing we -tie gue ton his had y had alread tioner repaired. When practi time, he st fir the saw him for uth mo his se clo refused to ding fee ed tri r when his mothe on d rke wo ner him. Practitio sions, him, but after 2–3 ses ed. urn ret his tongue-tie ained Practitioner noticed ret t, tha on d rke reflexes and wo T. in addition to CS baby After ten sessions, the the and ll, still didn't nurse we p sto to d mother was advise y. craniosacral therap

BA IL A, AG E 30 Client was experiencing depres sion and wanted to try healing withou t medication.

She came in monthly for a whi le but didn't notice any change. Upon the craniosacral practitioner's urging, she saw a psychiatrist and got medication. Unf ortunately, medication didn't help her eith er.

ITA, AGE 60 Client reported crying frequently and feeling despondent. After several CST sessions, she felt more grounded and shared that she felt happier than she had in 45 years.

SIM A, AG E 52 Client reported a lack of confidence in communication with her husband and adult children. Several sessions of CST left her feeling more integrated and confident around her adult children.

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Results: Voodoo science and it’s all in the head, like Wikipedia says? Unlikely.

While it’s not the panacea my outspoken park-bench friend declared it to be, too many individuals have been helped via craniosacral therapy in very real ways to chalk it up to imagination.

What Is Craniosacral Therapy (CST)?

The human body is made up of a vast network of connective tissue known as fascia. Craniosacral therapists refer to fascia as the “rubber bands” on a rubber ball. Craniosacral therapy releases blockages in these bands by gentle touch and stimulation on targeted areas. Blockages include both physical and emotional ailments.

According to Cleveland Clinic, CST is thought to improve efficiency of biological processes through boosting inherent self-regulation, self-correction, and self-healing.

How does a CST session feel?

Clients are not likely to feel much except gentle touch on various parts of their body as the CST practitioner moves fluids in and around the central nervous system. In rare cases, clients can feel a sudden dramatic shift or release as the practitioner releases blockages.

All names and identifying details have been altered to protect clients' confidentiality.

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What can craniosacral therapy be helpful for?

Here’s a little sampling.

Balancing hormones PTSD PPD Developmental delays Pregnancy pains Fertility Cycle issues Breastfeeding issues Anxiety Depression Focus and concentration Learning issues Aches and pains Headaches Neck pain

Note: This article is for informational purposes only. Consult with a qualified CST practitioner to discuss your treatment goals, and ask for an estimate of a time frame in which you can expect to see results to you don’t invest time and money in this endeavor indefinitely.

Curious about a health fad but don’t want to be the experimental subject just yet? I may want to experiment with that!

Send a message to info@wellspringmagazine.com, subject line “Libby’s the Sample.” Meet you in the lab!

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CUP OF TEA

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Cup of Tea with

Rivka Klein de Graaf, RSHom Rivka Klein de Graaf, RSHom

LOCATION: Modiin, Israel; international virtual practice

OCCUPATION: Classical Homeopath PASSION: Supporting others on their path toward the health they want

SHE WISHES PEOPLE WOULD KNOW: that they have a right to exist just by virtue of being born. We don’t need to “do” to be worthy.

We are human beings, not human “doings.”

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One word that encapsulates Rivka Klein de Graaf’s personality is “connector.” Speak with her for just five minutes, and you’re likely to feel the chemistry.

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Rivka’s profound, genuine love for people allows her to quickly connect, and remain connected, with anyone who comes into contact with her. Through her work as a classic homeopath, she's able to utilize this set of skills to understand her clients and provide the most appropriate formula to help them heal.

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Early Connections Although Rivka does not recall any early sentiments to the world of alternative healing, various factors led her toward the life she’s living today. Rivka grew up in a traditional home in the beautiful Netherlands.

“A land of lovely people, exquisite flowers, and famed Dutch clogs, but almost devoid of Jews.” Rivka remembers the first time she stood in a room with more than three Yidden who weren’t her family members: when she attended a summer camp in the States. “My parents, both Holocaust survivors, did their best to give me a beautiful Jewish education and imbued us with much-needed Jewish pride. Shabbos and chagim were a central part of our lives and so were the other mitzvos. Being surrounded by mostly gentiles, my parents ensured that we remain steadfast to our Jewish identity, and in retrospect, it was precisely because I grew up in this unique community that I developed a deep spiritual yearning. I remember being just nine years old and dreaming of making aliyah. It was also this environment that taught me to appreciate people regardless of their nationality or differences.” Then, upon completing high school, she instinctively knew it was time to bring her dream to fruition. When she was just 18, young and independent, she boarded the plane to Eretz Yisrael to continue her education in the land she’d had her heart set on all those years.

Rivka is eager to discuss her parents’ educational background because of the strong impact it had on her own profession. “My parents played a big role in my career. My mother’s love for people landed her in the special education field and my father, leftbrained and with a PhD in pharmacology, worked as a scientist, studying how medications work. Homeopathy is the ultimate fusion of these two worlds.” Throughout the conversation, Rivka highlights numerous ways in which her parents’ values were impressed upon her, especially those relating to connecting with others.

“My first choice of study was political science—and to this day I’m not quite sure what inspired me to take that route. Alas, I quickly realized this was not my field of interest. While I was studying, a famed homeo130

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“The more the client shares at that first visit, the more precise my prescription will be because I can recommend something to suit their specific needs.”

path visited Israel to teach homeopathy and a friend, who was impressed by his practice convinced me to see him for the chronic knee pain I’d been suffering from. Fifty shekel, which wasn’t considered costly even in 1989, was all it took to get me hooked. I remember walking out of his small office feeling understood, respected, and listened to. The experience was very meaningful and left me with much food for thought. I realized then that homeopathy is about appreciating the bigger picture of the client’s issue, not merely about prescribing some generic formula—which was right up my alley. In order for a remedy to be the right one, a homeopath needs to understand her client in a profound way, taking in all aspects of their being. Becoming a doctor was on my wish list since I was young, but there was something more to this than treating patients. I was immediately attracted to this style of healing and began looking into it as a career option.”

Choosing to embark on this journey was not an easy decision. Rivka remembers how she shied away from sharing her profession with other people. “The world of alternative healing, especially homeopathy, was quite unconventional back when I chose that path.

Telling people what I was practicing gave me stomachaches.” Rivka’s parents, occupied with conventional science and medicine, thought her choice of study strange, but despite their own reservations, encouraged her to travel the path on which her heart was guiding her—which was very important to Rivka. Another factor that motivated her to dive into it was when she looked around and noticed that most people only started doing what they really like after 40. “I decided to skip the first, unfulfilling career stage, and forge right ahead with what I really desired.”

Rivka’s sincerity marks her every statement.

Being a disciplined and hard worker, Rivka persevered through the initial stages as a practitioner despite the challenges in establishing a clientele. “I once posted an advertisement about my services, but it felt so unauthentic that I chose not to do that again.

Instead, I focused on giving my all to my clients and thus building my reputation as an honest and caring healer. In the early years, work was slow, which was perfect because I

was raising my family at the time. I also learned to believe in myself and forge ahead with my practice despite the skepticism I was dealing with. We lived in Queens for a short period, and when I moved back to Israel, my practice really took off.” Rivka recalls the many hours she spent reading books on the topic, so she could fill her quota of hours she wanted to devote to her practice. Those early years serve her well now as she barely has time to do anything but see clients, attend meetings at the institutions she serves as a board member, or convene with colleagues to further her education.

“Actually, I just completed an intense five-year course on another level of homeopathy,” Rivka shares excitedly.

The What and How Rivka always anticipates the question, “What is homeopathy?” Although the word is easily recognized, many people aren’t aware of how homeopathy works. Almost as old as medicine itself, this treatment method works on the “like cures like” principle. It’s the notion that a substance that causes certain symptoms can also help to remove those symptoms.

Homeopathic remedies sometimes include red onions, herbs, poison ivy or other substances that will naturally trigger a reaction in the body. The caveat, however, is that homeopathy treats the person versus the actual symptom. “Just to give you an idea, there are over four hundred remedies for the simple ear infection. When people ask me what they can give for rashes, fevers, allergies, etc., it’s impossible for me to offer a solution without understanding where they’re coming from. Homeopathy seeks to understand the entire picture of the patient and only then offer a formula that will work to heal the person and not just the symptom.”

At her first session with the client, Rivka seeks to understand them on all levels—emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. “A typical session begins with the person’s history, current circumstances, and other nuances that affect them. The more the client shares at that first visit, the more precise my prescription will be because I can recommend something to suit their specific needs.”

Obviously, attentive, non-judgmental listening is on the top of the qualifications list for a homeopath. Rivka then spends hours combing through her sources for the best, most appropriate remedy.

“Sometimes I’ll come up with the solution quickly,

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while other times I can brainstorm for hours until I reach a decision.” Rivka then prescribes the remedy, which can be purchased at a homeopathic pharmacy.

But that’s not the end. “I wait to hear how the client reacts to the remedy and make adjustments accordingly.

Transparency is so important in my practice; if the prescription doesn’t work, I ask my clients to let me know. Often, a client will offer more information about themselves when the first remedy doesn’t work, which helps me direct them toward a more suitable prescription.” Rivka also monitors gradual changes—changes that even the clients might not notice. “Homeopathy is a very gentle, effective healing method. Conventional medicine gives you an easy way to see its effectiveness. As soon as you go off the medication your symptoms usually come back, which tells you that the medication works. Homeopathy, however, changes you as a person and the symptoms usually dissipate subtly.

It’s therefore hard to notice a quick, obvious change.”

Sometimes, Rivka will send her client to someone else to be the right shaliach to heal them. “I don’t have to be the end station for everyone. I just thank them for allowing me to be part of their journey and help them move on. It’s all about helping people find what’s best for them,” she 132

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asserts.

Which kind of issues does Rivka commonly meet in her practice? “Since COVID, there’s been an unfortunate upsurge of mental illness-related cases, especially OCD.” Understandably, as the years go by, Rivka is facing more challenging and mental health-related cases, probably due to her experience and age. “In the beginning, the issues were mainly physical—asthma, warts, rashes, etc. Now, things are rapidly changing as more and more people are honest about their mental health conditions. I also often witness waves of certain conditions that come and go. One successful case breeds another one with similar symptoms and so the chain continues with many people coming in for the same issues within a time period.”

Working with the entire spectrum of ages, seeing newborns to seniors, Rivka is afforded an opportunity to learn about each age group. “Getting a glimpse into the world of a child is one of my favorite aspects of my practice. It’s fascinating to hear their perspective on a very adult-oriented world and to help adults realize how children view their actions.” Rivka speaks of the importance of being attuned to a child’s world and being respectful of their needs. “A mother once came to show me her three-month-

unscathed. I, however, was very shaken by the experience and I remained glued in place. Providentially, one of my colleagues was at the scene, and she immediately brought me a remedy. Although it’s several years later, I still remember the effect the remedy had on me. It felt like lightening was jolting through my mind, shaking me up, and carrying me through a tunnel from fogginess and haziness to blinding clarity.”

Rivka shares another occasion in which she experienced a similar reaction to a remedy. During one of the wars in Eretz Yisrael, she was struggling with anxiety and fear, especially when her son was stationed in one of the dangerous territories. Once again, she resorted to her remedies, and experienced a similar feeling of being swept into clarity and lightness.

Does everyone experience such strong reactions? “Probably not,” Rivka says candidly, reiterating the gentleness of homeopathy.

On the subject of stress, Rivka shares how she relaxes after an intense workday or after listening to a difficult account. “Drinking tea in my favorite mug, listening to music, or cleaning my house are my first options for selfcare.” In her practice, unwinding is very important so she can continue to serve her clients with renewed energy.

“I also learned early on to separate my story, my life, with that of my client,” Rivka says. “Boundaries are a rudimentary element of any practice, especially when it involves listening to people’s stories.”

More on Connections

old baby’s diaper rash. When she removed the diaper, the child started crying hysterically. As I watched this, I offered the mother to repeat what she did, but I made sure to talk to the baby before and throughout the process. In a soft voice, I told the baby that I would be undressing him and that he was right to cry before. Sure enough, the baby was quiet throughout. We usually underestimate the understanding of these young children and inadvertently don’t validate their feelings.” This is just one example Rivka offers to explain how homeopathy taught her to respect every human being.

Rivka also appreciates her senior clients. “I feel so privileged to speak with older people and listen to their wisdom. Dealing with them has allowed me to face my own mortality and think about what really matters in life— sooner than most people my age do!” Rivka reflects.

Rivka is hesitant to share any of her clients’ stories, even when I assure her that identifying details will be changed.

“I can’t emphasize enough the importance of confidentiality in my practice. People trust me and I must maintain that trust.” Instead, she offers her powerful personal experiences with homeopathic remedies. “Several years ago, I hit a child on the road, who baruch hashem emerged

Despite the satisfaction homeopathy offers Rivka, she’s always onto another project. This time, it’s something grand—what she refers to as the “GPS Within” system.

The GPS Within system, co-developed with her colleague Dorit Shoshani, is a fascinating approach to navigating interpersonal relationships. Rivka developed this advanced system after ten years of researching system coaching and realized the significant need for such a method. “It deserves an article of its own,” Rivka says as she offers a short outline. “System coaching seeks to work on the energy between two people instead of focusing on the individuals.”

Just to give us a feel for the program, she delineates the steps: collect, connect, disconnect, and zoom out. “In every relationship different aspects need to be worked on. These four steps teach people how to analyze their relationships, understand where they struggle, and help them work on those aspects. For some people, the struggle lies in maintaining proper boundaries; for others, it’s expressing their needs; and for another group, it’s connecting.” Although the program is still in its pilot stages, it has already helped dozens of people and is changing people’s lives.

“I hope this program will make the world a better, safer, less judgmental place to live in,” Rivka adds earnestly.

It’s a sincere wish, one that Rivka embodies daily as she provides a safe haven for the people seeking her empathy, respect, and treatment.

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T E E SW AND

LOW HER INTENTIONS WERE POSITIVE, BUT THAT NEW “HEALTH” INITIATIVE WAS SABOTAGING TOO MANY RELATIONSHIPS

134

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R

BY AR

HILLE C S A L L IE

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I feel like a high school principal.

The five women looking up at me have that hopeful, pleading gleam in their eye, like they’re begging to be crowned English editor or dance head. Or, in this case, to be sent to Lakewood for the annual frum fashion shows. I pick up a Sari’s! custom hanger and run my fingers over the plush pink velvet. “You are all amazing,” I say. “Each one of you is the reason Sari’s! is where it is today. But I can only send one representative.

And this year…”

I pause, not for emphasis, but because I know I’m about to disappoint four women and I hate that, “it’s Perel Landau.”

Perel gasps, clasps her hands together, and then tries to rein in her reaction so the other women won’t feel bad. She’s a doll, Perel, but more than that, she has one of the sharpest eyes when it comes to spotting new trends. She has a ten out of ten record, and I love that. She’s the one who anticipated before anyone else that pompom hats would be all the rage.

To be frank, despite being the proprietor of a well-known, fashion-forward, bustling boutique, I know nothing about fashion. Really. My team dresses me and that’s why I’m not walking around looking homeless. My expertise lies in the cold, sensible world of business. And fashion makes no sense. I would’ve bet my paycheck that grown women in their forties wouldn’t be caught for anything in hats with huge pompoms bouncing along behind them—and I was wrong. Good thing I didn’t take that bet.

I give my team carte blanche. Like with prairie skirts. Floral, midi prai136

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rie skirts, like my mom wore in the sixties. And here every teen girl and her mom is swishing around in them.

I have no idea what people will want.

And that’s why I send my trusted team to make the choices for me. It’s a lot of pressure for them, that’s true, but they get to bring their husband, stay in a hotel, and vacation at night when the shows are over.

The women congratulate Perel, Shan goes off to close up the shop, and they all head home. I step out into the cool evening, take a deep breath of fresh air, and turn toward my house. Having Sari’s! in my backhouse is amazing, although maybe if it were a bit further, I wouldn’t be in the situation I am right now.

I practically stomp toward the inviting glow of my home, replaying the humiliating conversation I had with Dr. Ralphs yesterday.

I PRACTICALLY STOMP TOWARD THE INVITING GLOW OF MY HOME, REPLAYING THE HUMILIATING CONVERSATION I HAD WITH DR. RALPHS YESTERDAY.

“High cholesterol,” he said solemnly.

“High cholesterol? I’m 43! Who has high cholesterol at 43?”

“You. You do.”

Yes, thank you, I got that part.

I push open the faux barn door and breathe in my warm, bright kitchen, the scent of the eggplant Parmesan baking on a timer, filling the air with its tantalizing scent. Oh wait—I can’t eat that. I need to eat rabbit food. I sniff back a self-pitying tear and go change out of my work attire into a more Sari-genuine ensemble. Namely, slippers, slinky skirt, and zip-up sweatshirt.

I stomp down the stairs to find Rosie tossing a Caesar salad. So I won’t starve.

She dries her hands on a towel, folds it, and lays it gently on the is-

land. Gosh, I love her.

“I go now, Missus Sari.”

“Thanks, Rosie!” I give her a bag with her dinner and then it’s just me. Sitting alone at the island, not thinking about the eggplant Parmesan, with its gooey strings of melted cheese bubbling in tomato sauce, sitting on top of crisp breaded slices of eggplant… Oh wow, my entire mouth just filled with saliva. Coffee time. I get up and pull out my favorite mug, the one that says Girl Bosses Make the Best Bosses.

Shan got it for me last Purim and it cracks me up every time.

I load a pod into the Keurig and then reach for the milk. No regular milk, I hear Dr. Ralph’s voice intoning from the carton, as if I’m a character in the Marvelous Middos Machine.

much fuss for a one-year-old,” she says dramatically.

The other kids all chime in and Layla pulls the eggplant from the oven.

“Ma, we’re starving. Can we eat?”

I look sadly at my coffee. “Sure. Dig in, kids.” ◊◊◊ I’m looking over the day’s receipts when Gedalia plunks a white paper bag down in front of me. “For you, m’lady.”

I peer at him over my glasses. “What is that, good sir?”

He pulls a bottle of pills out with a flourish. “Cholesterol medication!

Your favorite!” He makes a sympathetic face and I pout.

“Great. Now I’m officially an old lady. That’s just great.”

He sits down next to me and laughs.

“Not an old lady. Just a high-cholesterol one.”

I give him a look and push the bottle away. “I don’t want it, Gedalia. I feel fine. I have no patience for doomsday predictions.”

He pushes it back toward me.

“That’s great, but I need you alive.

And not at daily risk of heart attack and stroke. So, please. Just take it.”

Are you kidding me?

Sighing, I reach for the almond milk in the back of the fridge. Thank G-d for weird teen children who insist on weird milk types.

The door bangs open just as I’m taking the first sip. It’s not bad with the almond milk, just not that rich creamy color I love.

“Mommy!”

five-year-old

Batya

squeals. I smile widely at my baby as she starts regaling me with details of cousin Mordy’s birthday party. “And then Aunt Chaykie gave everyone a little stuffed monkey and then there was cake and then Mordy smashed his piece on his face…”

He’s getting nervous, so I roll my eyes, take the bottle, and tell him there’s food for him warming in the oven. But then I pull out my laptop and do a deep dive into Dr. Google.

How to lower cholesterol without medication. I squint at the results.

I nod along and smile at the other kids. Layla rolls her eyes and drops the keys on the counter. “Waaay too

Harvard Health. That’s as good a place to start as any. …if you’d prefer to make just one

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change at a time to lower your cholesterol naturally, you may want to begin with your diet. A major analysis of several controlled trials involving hundreds of men and women found that dietary changes reduced LDL and total cholesterol while exercise alone had no effect on either…

Interesting. Such a shame about the exercise, though.

However, the most effective diets substituted foods with the power to lower cholesterol for those that boost cholesterol…

I click on another article.

1. Limit unhealthy fats 2. Get your omega-3s 3. Eat more fiber 4. Cut back on added sugar Okay, what’s the difference between unhealthy fats and healthy fats? Which foods have omega-3?

What’s the best source of fiber?

I head to the kitchen, make myself a heaping bowl of salad, and go right back to my office to continue my Google search. I am going to take control of this cholesterol business.

And those pills better get comfortable, because I have no plans to remove them from their bottle.

I shut the laptop at 2 a.m., feeling giddy with my new discovery. Unhealthy fats… they’re everywhere!

According to the last article, When food manufacturers need a more stable, solid form of oil to make their products, they bubble hydrogen gas through vegetable oil. The process 138

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actually changes the chemical structure of the fat, turning some of it into trans fats. Trans fats are lurking in all commercially made food products containing partially hydrogenated oils or shortening. They’re also hiding in frying fats used by many fast food joints.

Well, obviously, we’re not eating at fast food joints anymore. And we all need to start reading food labels. I may be the only one with high cholesterol, but these things are hereditary. The time to nip things in the bud is, well, now. ◊◊◊ I call Dr. Ralphs early in the morning and ask him what he thinks of my health regimen. He sounds skeptical but says I can try it for one month and then come back to test my levels.

One month: challenge accepted.

I open a new spreadsheet, next to Sari’s! March Sales. I name it “Commitment to Cholesterol: Month One.” Day One Breakfast: Oatmeal sprinkled with berries. Coffee with almond milk.

Snack: Apple and pear slices.

Lunch: Salmon with avocado.

Snack: Almond butter on whole wheat bread.

Dinner: Sweet potatoes, broccoli, and turkey breast.

I stick to the meal plan in the morning. Like, to a T. Even when Rivky Klein, my favorite customer, brings me a cupcake from that bakery I love.

I hug her and thank her and when she leaves, I hand it over to the team

“GREAT. NOW I’M OFFICIALLY AN OLD LADY. THAT’S JUST GREAT.” HE SITS DOWN NEXT TO ME AND LAUGHS. “NOT AN OLD LADY. JUST A HIGH-CHOLESTEROL ONE.”

to divide and conquer.

Very high fashion.”

The store is full today, people getting a jumpstart on their Pesach wardrobes. I look around, I know most of the women and girls, but there is one petite brunette I’ve never seen before. She’s standing at the gold mirror, turning this way and that, examining the light pink tweed skirt we just got in. (Tweed. Really.

Like from high school.)

I hear Shan sigh. The woman’s face turns white; she spins away from the mirror and disappears back into the dressing room.

I pull Shan to the side. “What on earth was that?”

Shan is approaching her, but there’s no harm in the boss getting involved.

Shan yanks on my houndstooth sweater. “That was Breindy Goldman Klein. Her sister is Ann Golds. Remember her? Sad story, the one who left the fold to start a high fashion line in Paris?”

“Hi! Wow, that skirt looks amazing on you,” I say brightly. The woman looks up.

Ohhhh. Okay. Ohhhhh. “So that’s why she just acted like I called her fat?”

“Hmm? Oh, thanks.”

Tough crowd. Shan is looking at me, and I think she’s trying to tell me something, but body language is not my forte.

“Really, really nice. We have a stunning light pink sweater that goes well with it.”

Brunette looks at me, as if to gauge whether I’m serious or not. Like light pink sweaters are my brand of humor.

“And that skirt really looks great.

“Exactly. You said she looked high fashion. And she just moved to Pico to escape all of that.”

Oh, I feel terrible.

By the time I stumble into the house, my bones are exhausted. There is a tub of cookie dough ice cream in the freezer calling my name in the sweetest, most enticing voice imaginable.

Saaari, it’s singing. Saaari.

I change out of my Sari’s! outfit and into my Sari-true hoodie. Ugg slippers and I’m ready for an ice cream

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binge. And then I spy the white bottle of pills on the counter, unopened, looking deceptively innocent.

“Uch!” I say aloud. “Uch, uch, uch!”

Batya comes skipping around the corner, unicorn headband bouncing, pink tutu flying, leopard pajama pants tucked into purple Uggs. Now that’s what I consider style.

“Mommy, what’s uch?”

I look at her. “Uh, I saw a bug.” You can lie for chinuch, right?

“Oh, yuck. Is supper ready?”

I nod and reach for an orange from the fruit bowl. “Go call the other guys.”

I made their favorite and I hope they enjoy it. Because if I have my way, this will be the last time we deep-fry anything in this house.

Kids come out of the woodwork and settle at the table. “Yum, Ma, these burgers look amazing.”

“Crispy fries!”

“Can you pass the fried onions and pastrami?”

“I need pickles.”

I survey this chaos from my perch at the island. Gedalia comes in, washes, and sits at the table. He loads his plate with a burger plus all the trimmings and then looks up.

“Sari? You joining?”

I look at him as he takes a big, juicy bite. “Yup, on my way.”

Balancing my plate of turkey breast, spiced broccoli, and sweet potato wedges, I settle into my seat. It’s a good dinner, but the sounds of ecstasy my family is expressing are certainly not for what I’m eating.

The next evening, I make one din140

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◊◊◊

“MA! THERE IS NO FOOD IN THIS HOUSE. I JUST GOT BACK FROM NIGHT SEDER AND I AM STARVING. STARVING !”

FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS IN TRADER JOE’S AND THERE’S NO FOOD IN THE HOUSE. ner only.

“Uh, Ma?” I look up from the Israeli salad I’m seasoning to find Layla and Benny staring down at the Pyrex worriedly.

“Ma, what is that?”

I sniff. “That, dear children, is a delicious dinner. Skillet lemon chicken with potatoes and kale.”

Benny looks horrified. “What’s that last word?”

“Kaaaale,” I enunciate. “It’s delicious, you’ll love it.”

Spoiler alert: he didn’t.

I don’t think I ever realized how much junk food we have in our house. I consider us ranked regular on the health-conscious scale but I was looking at a jar of peanut butter last night and I noticed, to my horror, that it contains hydrogenated fat.

Trans fat! The cholesterol culprit!

Rosie is happy to take our cast offs, but looks a bit wary.

“Batya like this,” she keeps saying.

“Batya will be fine,” I answer way more firmly than I feel. I take the day off, dedicated to cleansing my home of all poison, and then head to the nearest Trader Joe’s to stock up on good, wholesome treats and ingredients. When I see the bill, though, I start to question this whole endeavor. A bottle of pills is a whole lot cheaper.

But then I remind myself that I have no interest in being dependent on pills to keep my health in check, that the future health of my family is depending on me, and I even manage a smile as I hand over my credit card. I also send up a quick tefillah that Perel find us some hot market items at the frum fashion shows so I can cover my new exorbitant grocery runs.

I’m just loading my bags into the trunk when I hear an all too familiar voice say, “I’d know those Ugg slippers anywhere.”

I close my eyes. This is not happening. I am not bumping into my sister-in-law in the Trader Joe’s parking lot, wearing Ugg slippers, in middle of the day. Just, no. Not Chana Leah.

Not now. Steeling myself and resisting the urge to jump into the driver’s seat and screech “Drive! Just drive!” to nobody, I square my shoulders and

turn around slowly.

“Chan! What are the chances? Hello!” I say this all brightly, my teeth bared in what I’m sure is a terrifying grimace.

Chana Leah ignores all of this and leans over for a meaningful air-kiss.

“Sari. It is so, so good to see you.

And how’s my favorite brother doing? Did you ever give him the mes-

sage about the Just Say No youth group? I told you Ari started one in Beis Tefillos and how it completely changed our kehillah? Did you give Rabbi Goldworth’s number to Gedalia? I don’t think I saw a reply email from you.”

“That’s so strange, are you sure?” I ask, inching toward the driver’s seat.

Chana Leah nods firmly, sleek

blonde sheitel catching the sun. “I’m sure.”

“Huh. Weird,” I say, davening for a miraculous phone call to come save me. Chana Leah reaches out a manicured hand and rests it lightly on my shoulder. “Sari. B’makom she’ein ish… we need to save our youth. We need to stop the Kiddush clubs. Tell Gedalia to call Rabbi Goldworth, okay?

Let him start a Just Say No group

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down in Pico. It’ll be amazing. Okay, hon?”

I open my mouth, not sure what exactly is going to emerge, and then my phone rings. Oh, thank You, Hashem!

“Oy, Chana Leah, I need to run, store emergency. Send my love to the kids! Bye!” And then I speed out of there like I’m in a high-speed car chase.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love my sister-in-law. It’s just… well… she’s always lecturing about something or another. And frankly, it’s annoying.

And not only is it annoying, honestly, it just makes people not want to spend time with her. And that’s really sad. ◊◊◊ Breakfast (293 calories): 1 serving apple and peanut butter toast Snack (131 calories): 1 large pear Lunch (387 calories): 1 serving veggie and hummus sandwich 1 medium orange Snack (206 calories): ¼ cup unsalted dry-roasted almonds Dinner (504 calories): 1 serving sheet-pan salmon with sweet potatoes and broccoli “MAAA!” It’s Benny and obviously the house is on fire. I rush out of my room, trip over someone’s helmet, stub my toe on a side table, and almost fall down the stairs. “Benny!

Benny, I’m coming.”

“Maaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

I rush into the kitchen to find my 142

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14-year-old very much alive, no blood evident, and no flames licking the walls.

I bite my tongue, hard, then count to ten backward, but only make it to six. “BENNY FISHMAN! What is wrong with you? I almost died trying to get here.” Okay, now I sound like the one who’s exaggerating things.

Calm down, Sari. Calm yourself down, girl.

“Benny. I’m here. What?”

“Ma! There is no food in this house.

I just got back from night seder and I am starving. Starving!”

Four hundred dollars in Trader Joe’s and there’s no food in the house.

“Benny.” I take another deep breath.

“Benny. Sweetheart. There is plenty of food in this house. Perhaps just not food that you’re used to seeing?”

I hobble over to the pantry—my stubbed toe isn’t going anywhere so fast—and start pulling out the day’s loot. “We have organic berry granola bites. Cauliflower chips! Plantain chips. Roasted almonds. Spiced popcorn. And even—chocolate!” I pull out the bar and wave it around proudly Benny takes the bar from me gingerly, like it might explode. “Ninety-two percent cacao? Um, that’s not chocolate.”

He looks at me, at all the snacks on the island in front of me, and purses his lips. “I’m going to sleep. Good night.”

Well, if a moment ever called for a square of ninety percent organic chocolate, this is it. I make a brachah, pop a square into my mouth, and make a face. It’s really nothing to write home about. But hey, at least it’s not full of fats trying to give me

a stroke. That’s a major plus, right? ◊◊◊ It’s been ages since I’ve been to a shiur. Layla is begrudgingly babysitting only after I promise to send her out for dinner tomorrow so she, and I quote, “doesn’t have to eat weird diet food.” One night won’t harm her, right? Oy, I hope not. Also, I know Rebbetzin Stefansky always inspires.

Rosh Chodesh Nissan is a good time to recharge. I settle next to Perel, a black coffee in one hand, when Breindy Klein takes the seat next to me, balancing a plate of salad and cheesecake. She smiles tightly when she recognizes me. Here’s my chance to smooth things over, to make her feel welcome in our community. “Hi!” I say brightly. “It’s Breindy, right?”

She looks wary but nods, then makes a brachah and bites into a cucumber smothered in honey-Dijon dressing.

If that’s store-bought dressing, then heaven only knows what’s in there.

“And you’re Sari,” she says, after swallowing. “From the store.”

I nod. An uncomfortable silence ensues. Perel introduces herself, and I open my mouth to ask Breindy how she’s been settling in, how she likes the new community, what schools her children are in.

“You know,” I hear myself say, “people think honey is so healthy, and they’re constantly using it in recipes.

But the truth is, silan is a much better choice.” I clamp my mouth shut again, slightly in shock.

Breindy nods politely and then looks down at her salad. “Maybe I’ll just stick with my cheesecake then,” she quips.

The lights dim, Rebbetzin Stefansky steps up to the podium, and silence ensues. But all I can think is what on earth was that?

What is wrong with me? I wanted to make the woman feel welcome and all I did was bash her food choices?

Oh boy, I am deep down the rabbit hole. ◊◊◊ Breakfast (280 calories): 1 serving cinnamon roll overnight oats • 5-ounce nonfat plain Greek yogurt

container

Snack (131 calories): 1 large pear Lunch (428 calories): 1 serving sweet potato, kale, and chicken salad with peanut dressing, 1 clementine Snack (197 calories): 1 cup nonfat plain Greek yogurt, ¼ cup frozen blueberries, 1 Tbsp chopped walnuts Dinner (450 calories): 1 serving turkey and sweet potato chili 1 serving guacamole chopped salad Gedalia tells me I’m fine. “So you’re a bit focused on your health right now,” he says. “It’s fine, don’t worry so much.” He’s a practical man, so I believe him and put it all out of my mind as I open my computer. I’ve joined a Heart Healthy chat forum and the women on it have the best ideas for dinners.

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I’m folding the cable knit two-piece sets Perel ordered us—they’re selling like hotcakes—when I hear whispering coming from one of the dressing rooms. Which is odd, considering we’re closed. Leaving my dignity on the table with the knits, I tiptoe closer and hear, “Let’s just take our own cars, so she doesn’t realize.”

“What a pain,” a different voice says.

“Okay, but unless you want her staring with that judgmental look while we share at the Waffle Jungle, then that’s what we need to do.”

I rear back like that time when the sheitelmacher burned me with her curling iron. My employees! They’re hiding from me, in a dressing room, and trying to sneak out to dinner together, without me. And all because I no longer eat waffles. Disgusting!

Not even bothering to be quiet, I leave the sets crumpled in a heap and storm out of the store. ◊◊◊ Benny no longer comes home for dinner. He eats in yeshivah. And I even found some takeout receipts in Gedalia’s pocket, the traitor. Now that I know the poison they pour into those greasy pots, that really kills me. Well, I’m on my way to Dr. Ralphs. So we’ll find out if all of this has been worth it, or if I just wasted a month of my life trying to attain the impossible, and go bankrupt from Trader Joe’s shopping runs.

The good doctor looks impressed.

“Beautiful, Mrs. Fishman. Just beautiful lab results. Keep up the good work!”

Oh, thank You, Hashem! I sit down 144

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in the waiting room to say a fervent Mizmor l’sodah, and then hop back into my car. Time to go rub it in all the faces of those who doubted me.

I make a quick stop at the grocery to pick up some more avocados, and who do I see but Breindy Klein.

Okay, this time, I’ll actually have a normal conversation with the woman. She spies me as I enter the store.

I walk around the apple stand to reach her by the bananas but by the time I get there, she’s on the phone.

She smiles apologetically and turns away. I wave at her rapidly retreat-

ing back and then a terrible thought hits me. What if she’s faking it? What if she is faking a phone call, just so she won’t have to talk to me, the crazy silan lady?

Have I become… the Chana Leah?

The woman with an agenda whom people avoid?

Ohmigosh. I have. I totally have.

◊◊◊ Breakfast (280 calories): 1 serving cinnamon roll overnight

is sweet.

AND THEN, JUST BECAUSE I’M A JEWISH MOTHER, I PULL THE VINAIGRETTE SALAD OUT OF THE FRIDGE.

oats 1 5-oz. container nonfat plain Greek yogurt Snack (95 calories): 1 medium apple Lunch (322 calories): 1 serving slow-cooker Mediterranean stew

changed her lifestyle, has changed her bloodwork, has even changed her tastebuds and now genuinely craves chickpeas for dinner, but she has also alienated everyone around her. And it shouldn’t have to be a tradeoff. It can’t be. ◊◊◊

1 large pear Snack (244 calories): 1 cup nonfat plain Greek yogurt ¼ cup raspberries 2 Tbsp chopped walnuts Dinner (548 calories): 1 serving sheet-pan balsamic roasted chickpeas and vegetables 2 cups mixed greens 1 serving citrus vinaigrette ◊◊◊ The woman in the mirror looks calm and healthy. Like someone who has things together, who shops in Trader Joe’s and knows exactly what foods her family will enjoy. The woman in the mirror looks like someone her employees look up to, whom her husband sits with for dinner. But none of those things are accurate right now. The woman in the mirror has

Rosie helps me set the table. I use the sunflower placemats Chana Leah bought me last Chanukah, my gray stoneware dinner plates, and arrange yellow and white daisies in a large pitcher on the table. Very Pinterest, if I do say so myself. The kids trickle in, are requested to wash up, and all take their seats rather glumly. Gedalia hurries in, raises his eyebrows, but doesn’t say anything. “Ma, what are we waiting for?” Layla says finally, her tone impatient.

“You’ll see,” I reply, a touch jittery.

“I biked from yeshiva in eleven minutes for… for kale?” he finally stutters.

“Who said anything about kale?”

Taking a deep breath, I reach into the oven and pull out a huge platter of spare ribs—my bubby’s famous recipe, no store-bought sauces in sight.

Rosie pours piping hot fries into a bowl—air-fried, not deep-fried. And then, just because I’m a Jewish mother, I pull the vinaigrette salad out of the fridge. “Enjoy, kids,” I say softly.

“I’m sorry I put my diet on you. That wasn’t fair. My choices are my choices. And when you’re older—may you all always be healthy—you’ll make your own choices. I can’t say I’m going to stock up on junk for the house again, but you can tell me what you need, chocolate, ice cream, and I’ll try to accommodate you in a way everyone will enjoy. Okay, kids?”

They’re all nodding, but I can tell I lost their attention the moment they saw the ribs. That’s fine, there’ll be plenty of time to talk later.

Gedalia gets up. “Can I serve you?” he asks.

I smile at him. “Sure, my chickpeas are in the warmer.”

“Thank you,” he whispers from the side of his mouth.

And that moment the front door bangs open and Benny flies in, sweater on backward, cheeks red. “I got here as soon as I could! What’s the emergency?”

“Figured I’d save you from having to sneak out to Mechel’s,” I whisper back.

I smile sweetly at him. “Did I say emergency? I just said ‘come as fast as you can.’ It’s family dinner, you see.”

But it’s okay. It’s all going to be okay.

His mouth drops open. Ah, revenge

He blushes and quickly pours me some ice water.

And I’m bringing cupcakes from that awesome bakery for the team tomorrow. They deserve a treat.

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THE FUNCTIONAL DIETITIAN

What Your Doctor Never Told You About Acid Reflux

By Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE

If you’ve been told by your doctor that you suffer from acid reflux, you are not alone. Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), a chronic gastrointestinal disorder characterized by the regurgitation of gastric contents into the esophagus, is one of the most commonly diagnosed digestive disorders in the US, with a prevalence of 20 percent. Over the years, the mainstay in the medical management of GERD has been proton pump inhibitors (PPI).

This article will explore alternative treatment options that can be used in conjunction with pharmaceutical intervention in order to allow an eventual slow wean-off of medication.

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Typical clinical presentation of GERD is heartburn and regurgitation. However, GERD can also present with various other symptoms that include trouble swallowing, difficulty breathing when acid in the area triggers a closing of the airway, belching, epigastric pain, hoarseness, cough, and nausea.

Several risk factors have been identified and implicated in the pathogenesis of GERD, including esophageal dysmotility, impairment in the tone of the lower esophageal sphincter (LES), transient LES relaxation, and delayed gastric emptying. Anatomical factors like the presence of hiatal hernia or an increase in intra-abdominal pressure as seen in obesity are associated with an increased risk of developing GERD. Of all the causes of reflux, the one I see as the most critical to treatment is the loss of tone or temporary relaxation of the lower esophageal sphincter muscle. The LES is a muscular ring that connects the esophagus with the stomach. Its job is to keep food and stomach acids from leaving the stomach and rising back up into the esophagus.

It opens when you swallow and then closes to serve as a block against reflux, and it is supposed to stay shut.

However, the pressure in the lower esophageal sphincter can become overly relaxed by a number of factors, according to Harvard Health. These include: G Trigger foods such as spicy foods, caffeinated beverages, whole milk, tomatoes and peppermint G Smoking G Alcoholic beverages G Pregnancy G Some medications G Abdominal pressure from obesity or multiple pregnancies G Hiatal hernia (when the stomach protrudes into the diaphragm) When the LES weakens and stomach contents or acids start to back up, you feel the burning pain and discomfort of heartburn. To alleviate symptoms, many people rely on over-the-counter or prescription-strength acid buffers, such as H2 blockers or PPI. But a drug-free approach called “specialized breathing” is gaining attention.

Breathing exercises involving the diaphragm, intended to strengthen the pressure of the lower esophageal sphincter, could be helpful to people with chronic acid reflux, according to a review of research on the subject in 2016.

One small study involved 20 participants, half of whom practiced breathing exercises involving the diaphragm that are commonly used by singers.

Of the five exercises, two involved abdominal breath-

ing while lying down. Participants moved their abdominal wall against some resistance while relaxing the muscles in the chest and between the ribs. The other three included breathing exercises while seated and standing, focusing on slow exhales with raised arm movements and vocalizing.

After one month, participants in the exercise group showed a significant decrease in exposure to stomach acids and an increase in their quality of life, compared with those only taking PPIs. After eight months, the exercisers continued to report improved quality of life and less need for PPIs. There are videos available that can demonstrate how to complete these exercises at home on your own, or you can consult with a physical therapist that is trained in this approach for guidance. I share these resources with all my clients with GERD due to its excellent potential to repair the LES tone.

Additionally, many supplements, herbs, and nutritional recommendations can help decrease the likelihood of stomach contents regurgitating upward, or can heal the esophagus and lower esophageal sphincter. Below are a few of my favorites.

Marshmallow Root Tea: One of the main factors of heartburn and acid reflux is the fact that the esophagus becomes inflamed and/or irritated. Marshmallow root tea can actually help strengthen the lining of the esophagus by coating it in a protective lining. As this tea has emollient properties and is slimy, it can protect the lower esophageal sphincter from stomach acid; even if it gets backed up in there, the acid won’t be able to irritate the muscle. It also helps repair the gut lining and reduces inflammation.

Manuka Honey : Manuka helps with reflux symptoms by coating the stomach and esophagus and healing the damages in the tissue and lining provoked by acid reflux. I recommend taking a teaspoon of high-MCO Manuka honey (500+) twice daily, 5–10 minutes before most meals until healed.

Deglycyrrhizinated Licorice (DGL): According to a 2014 study, DGL was shown to promote mucus activity. This extra mucus may act as a barrier to acid in the stomach and esophagus. I recommend a DGL capsule 5–10 minutes before most meals until healed.

Whether you’ve been suffering from acid reflux for many years, or this is a new situation, know that there are non-pharmaceutical options available that can play a powerful role in your healing, including weight loss, breathing exercises, and healing botanicals. Hopefully these approaches will become more mainstream in the future, allowing more individuals to manage their GERD without relying on antacid medications long-term.

Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE is registered dietitian/nutritionist and certified diabetes educator who has advanced training in functional medicine.

She maintains a busy virtual nutrition practice, servicing numerous international clients. She specializes in sustainable weight loss and nutrition therapy for autoimmune disease, gastrointestinal disorders, and female hormone imbalances. She can be reached at 732-364-0064 or through her website, www.thegutdietitian.com.

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SERIAL DIARY

COMPASS s e rial diary

by Dina Lieber with Libby Silberman

Chapter 8 February 2019

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S

Recap: Amid tears and lighter moments, the Liebers are tying up loose ends at Mifne, the treatment center for their autistic daughter, Lana. Hanna encourages them to invite their families from abroad to learn about Mifne and to build a better support system at home.

W

hen we expressed our curiosity about the idea of inviting our families to this remote corner, Hanna explained that if we were intent on maintaining the new lifestyle we had learned at Mifne, it was imperative that our parents appreciate and support us on this journey.

think the intention was to impress upon my parents that their role was to support us, but unfortunately, this turned my mother off. My father, on the other hand, remained strong.

Since Mifne’s entire approach is centered around the parent-child connection, the Mifne team wanted to transfer this approach to Eli’s and my parents so they too would understand us, as their children and as parents ourselves.

“When our baby was dying, I called every doctor and askan I knew, but no one could do anything,” he told me. “The helplessness and hopelessness were excruciating. I’m gratified to see that you have both help and hope.”

Initially, we were hesitant about inviting our parents. On Eli’s end, he didn’t want to inconvenience his elderly mother. As for myself, making that call was arduous (more about that later). But we soon realized that it was crucial for them to join us in order to learn the concept of attachment parenting, and other life-changing approaches and techniques we had been taught at Mifne.

His words gave me a new perspective: instead of feeling sorry for ourselves for being saddled with Lana, we felt fortunate.

When Eli finally caved in to the pressure and broached the subject with his organized, cautious, and thought-out mother, she heroically booked the next flight to Israel. I give her eternal credit for this out-of-character move she made for her children.

We’re still in awe of her dedication.

Mommy met Hanna and had many insightful questions for her about raising Lana. One of them was about disciplining her when she misbehaves.

Hanna noted that while the goal with a regular child is discipline, in Lana’s case it would be connection.

My mother-in-law still quotes that conversation today, and I frequently bear that in mind as I deal with Lana’s day-to-day behaviors.

The day my parents were due to land, we were disappointed to learn that Hanna had to be out of town. As intellectuals, they would have loved the opportunity for a meaningful discourse. They met Einat instead.

Einat presented a bleak picture of the challenges ahead and how limiting our life would become. I

“You’re so lucky you have the opportunity to help Lana,” my father said to me later. A few years earlier, my baby brother had died at the age of 14 months from a rare neurological condition.

Recently, my mother finally felt ready to discuss her Mifne experience with me. She admitted that it was one of the most difficult mothering experiences in her life.

“From the moment a baby is born, all a mother wants to do is hold them until they stop crying and kiss their hurt away. Here, for the first time, I couldn’t do anything to make things better for you,” she said. She also told me that while it pained her, she had also been bursting with pride witnessing the fortitude Eli and I were displaying.

She then shared with me her complex mix of emotions at “owning” problems. After their own baby died, my parents felt the need to provide care and support for families that were unable to care for their disabled children, and they became a registered foster care family. As a teen, we had a profoundly disabled child living with our family for four years, and after that, the most beautiful blind, deaf, and severely epileptic little girl. My parents were definitely no strangers to the world of special needs and have an infinite capacity to love these children. But interestingly, my mother once observed, while caring for someone else's child gives my parents a deep sense of pleasure, being saddled with their own child's special needs is excruciating.

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WHEN YOU'RE HAPPY, EVERYTHING FALLS INTO PLACE.

While my mother and I were having this heartto-heart, I plucked up the courage to ask her why Einat had sent me out of the room when my parents met with her during their visit at Mifne. I’d been curious ever since.

My mother paused, but then told me the truth. Einat had said that she’d observed how staunchly independent I was, always saying “I’m fine” even when I wasn’t—even to my mother.

Einat as considered this could be a problem, and she wondered it this was related to me being an oldest child.

Suddenly, it all came together for me. So this was the reason I’d been feeling so awful and hesitant about inviting my parents to Mifne. I hadn’t wanted to inconvenience them.

It’s taken a long time for my mother to convince me that it’s a sign of strength, not weakness, to ask for help. Sometimes it’s okay not to be okay, and even to complain when I’ve had a miserable day. It’s a work in progress. But ultimately, I know I can always count on my parents’ unstinting love and support.

Before we knew it, our three weeks at Mifne were up and it was time to leave. To our surprise, we found it hard to say goodbye. We were genuinely scared to lose our safety net.

As long as we were there, we were completely supported, and going home would mean facing reality. The devoted Mifne staff helped us “take it home” by writing up a strict schedule and connecting us to local therapists. Still, we felt thrust onto stage and while we knew the script, we were scared we would forget all our lines.

Reality was indeed even harder than we’d anticipated. We had to redesign our entire home for our new lifestyle. For the first while, Lana would have to stay in the same room all the time to minimize external stimuli, so we blacked out the windows and rearranged all the furniture, equipping it with the therapy supplies.

Additionally, we installed cameras in most rooms at home so we could review Lana’s progress and our work with her.

And then, it was just us, in a darkened home.

Goodbye, world. We became recluses overnight.

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To be continued…

DIY

Dry Scalp Solution

By Miriam Schweid

An itchy scalp is not only uncomfortable—it often results in flakes and dandruff, too.

Prepare your own after-shower spray that will greatly reduce itching and minimize flaking.

3 oz fresh or dried rosemary (available online or at health food shops) 2 cups water ½ oz vinegar 4 drops tea tree oil

Place rosemary in a pot of water, bring to a boil, and strain.

In a clean spray bottle, combine the rosemary with vinegar and tea tree oil.

Spray on scalp and massage gently, twice daily.

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151

White Orchid needs no introduction.

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WE STEPPED UP.

Like you do in your everyday life, we took the lead. We transformed laser hair removal and continue on this mission every day, enhancing, improving, refining. Because you’re worth it.

We’re the one you trust.

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WE TOOK

WE’RE THE GOLD

RESPONSIBILITY.

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To help you dance through life. To empower you to say yes with confidence and no with full composure. To open a world where you can be your best self.

We bring you the best because you’re our standard and your value is immeasurable. You deserve the best. We’re honored to have earned your confidence. That’s why we continue to innovate.

THE FOUR ELEMENTS AND YOU

THE MOST IMPORTANT GUEST AT YOUR SEDER

STOP SLURPING YOUR SOUP! MISOPHONIA, EXPLAINED

EMOTIONAL EATING

By Shira Savit

The Most Important Guest Will you be at your Seder?

Once our Seder has already commenced, in Ha Lachma Anya, we announce, “All who are hungry come and eat; all who are needy come and celebrate Pesach.” Why are we inviting someone to the Seder after it already started? What is the needy person actually celebrating? And how is this connected to emotional eating?

According to some commentaries, “All who are hungry, come and eat” is not an invitation to the outside world. Rather, it’s an invitation to our self. These powerful words en154

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courage each and every one of us to be present, to bring our true selves to the Seder. We can be physically seated at the table, but mentally or emotionally distracted. We might be drained and exhausted, or overwhelmed by thoughts or fears. The invitation, “come…and eat” is a gentle reminder to oneself to come, to be at the Seder—to experience the words of the Haggadah, to enter the experience of true personal freedom, and to truly connect to our inner strength, our self.

We can understand this concept in a deeper way as it relates to our relationship with food. So often, we can be physically engaged in the action of eating, but without bringing our self to the table. We are distracted; our head is in another place. I’m not referring to the quick, rushed meal or the mindless snacking while chatting on the phone.

I’m referring to the eating that comes along with an inner “slave” voice. The voice that tells me, “You are not good enough”; the label that says, “You have no self-control”; the script that writes, “You are not worthy of love until you lose weight.”

These types of messages, so commonly the loudspeakers of our eating experience, take us away from our true self.

salad instead of the wrap…It’s so annoying that I don’t like healthy food. In contrast, Sara is present. She may be thinking, I’m really enjoying my time with Miri right now…This wrap tastes delicious…I feel nourished right now. Sara has invited herself to the table; she is connected; she feels whole.

When I am not distracted by my slave-like negative voices, I remain connected to my inherent worth.

How do we learn to break away from the slave voices that hold us back in life? The ones that tell us we’re doing something wrong, that shame us when we eat too much?

As the Haggadah teaches, the answer lies in sending an invitation to ourselves to come. To experience. To feel. To connect. To remember that Hashem can take us out of any struggle we are experiencing. He is with us, and He wants us to remember that it is He who is the true Master, showering us with unconditional love and acceptance, independent of our food intake.

When we’re in slave mode, we often feel What if I have a hard time like we’re being beaten. connecting to myself, if I don’t readily identify with “Shame on you for eating the person who is always those cookies. Hear me loud lovable and worthy, if I can’t always see the goodand clear: no more carbs ness that is inside of me?

The answer lies in the secthe rest of the day!” is the ond part of the Haggadah’s invitation: “All who are needy slave mentality that When we’re in slave mode, come and celebrate.” “All who we often feel like we’re being is used to whip us are needy” includes all those beaten. “Shame on you for eatwho are lonely, who feel less than, ing those cookies. Hear me loud and into shape. not good enough, and like they keep clear: no more carbs the rest of the day!”

When we’re in slave mode, a “ruler” dictates what, when, where, and how we should eat. “Don’t touch a morsel of food past seven p.m., or else you’ll gain weight.” “Eat only protein and vegetables at your meal.” “Only natural sweeteners are allowed.” Our ruler tells us we must obey, or else we are “cheaters” and “betrayers.”

trying and trying and never get to the place they want. How does Hashem bring us to true liberation? By urging us to celebrate. It’s not about balloons and loud music and sweet food. Rather, we’re encouraged to celebrate our victories, focusing on the things that are working for us, the areas in which we do have success; the times we did overcome an obstacle, we did choose that healthy side dish, we were nicer to ourselves, we did tune in to physical hunger, we did have awareness of emotional triggers, we did express feelings in a healthy way, we did slow down while eating.

What’s interesting is that two women, let’s call them Miri and Sara, could be sitting together in a restaurant, eating the same exact food, and Miri could feel like a slave, while Sara could feel like herself. Miri is thinking, I’m consuming too many calories now…I should have ordered the

When I feel less than, the key to healing is reminding myself that I am growing. I am changing. It might not be at the speed I want, but it’s there. When I pay attention to what I am doing to help myself, I am connected to myself. I can celebrate that, and tap into true freedom.

is the slave mentality that is used to whip us into shape. “If you don’t lose twenty pounds by the wedding, you’ll be too embarrassed to attend. You’d better get your act together!”

Shira Savit, MA, MHC, INHC, is a mental health counselor with multiple certifications in nutrition and health. She specializes in weight loss, emotional eating, and binge eating. Shira incorporates both nutritional and emotional components in helping her clients reach their goals. Shira has a private practice in Yerushalayim and works with women in any location via phone call or video sessions.

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CHILD DEVELOPMENT

Stop Slurping Your Soup!

Understanding Misophonia and Hyperacusis

By Friedy Singer & Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L

We can all likely picture a baby or toddler screaming when Mommy turns on the mixer or vacuum cleaner. But, what about eight-year-old Nachi who refuses to sit at the supper table because the sound of chewing drives him insane, or when teenager Esti can’t sleep in the girls’ room because the hum of the refrigerator can be heard from the kitchen?

Are sound sensitivities normal or behavioral, and is the overly emotional reaction to them justified?

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CHILD DEVELOPMENT

Auditory Regulation Let’s look at the auditory system from the very beginning of a baby’s life. The sense of sound actually develops during the third trimester, and fascinating studies conducted with newborn babies indicate that an infant already recognizes a mother’s voice from that point, proving how fine-tuned and sensitive this particular sense is.

The way we hear is extremely nuanced, with different receptors interpreting sounds and how we perceive them.

This is why speaking to babies in “motherese”—the cooing and crooning—early on is so helpful to their auditory development. Contrary to the belief that speaking to babies childishly will hinder development, this natural way of relating to them actually enables infants to pick up on nuances and frequencies of sound and become accustomed to what a specific tone in language implies.

In the beginning of a baby’s life, a lot of sensory information is perceived by them as threatening. This phenomenon can be observed when a baby cries fearfully from the appearance of a sudden bright light or loud sound. Similarly, many newborns cry during their baths in early life. Later on, when they are more regulated and able to process all the sensory information coming at them properly, they will begin to identify the warm bath as pleasurable rather than threatening and enjoy the experience.

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dren to be properly regulated and not overly sensitive in any of the body’s sensory areas, as well as able to perceive information properly and stop reacting fearfully to normal experiences. After approximately four months of age, a baby should acclimate and no longer startle or begin to cry when the mixer or vacuum cleaner is turned on; rather, they should view the sound as related to Mommy and completely nonthreatening. The absence of this regulation may cause hypersensitivity to specific sounds or groups of sound, based on frequency, volume, tone, or negative associations.

Not an Idiosyncrasy Sensitivity to sound in children, and later adults, is very real, and categorized as either hyperacusis, sensitivity to

general categories of sound (such as the sound of a passing train or the hum of a dryer), which triggers a physical or physiological response, or misophonia, a newer term that includes the emotional or psychological effect of hypersensitivity to sounds (such as breathing, eating/chewing, or coughing). A child may suffer from one or both of these conditions and have sensitivity to specific sounds, or to the entire group of sounds. Most adults learn to control their reaction to hearing a triggering sound, but exposure usually elicits a very impulsive, emotional, and often aggressive reaction in children.

Contrary to popular belief and what a typical reaction to hearing a hypersensitive sound looks like, those children covering their ears and running from the room or climbing the walls during an otherwise calm Shabbos meal are not blowing things out of proportion. There is a physiologi-

Like the awful chills of a chalk scraping against a blackboard, this hypersensitivity and its reactions are thoroughly painful for both children and adults, though an adult may have already learned to control their reaction.

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CHILD DEVELOPMENT

cal—and painful—phenomenon in their brains causing this reaction.

The Physiological Path The ear is responsible for two functions: the auditory system, which takes in sounds and processes what we hear; and the vestibular system—our sense of balance—which is directly linked to the emotional centers of the brain when triggered. Since these systems run along the same neural pathway, when the auditory system is activated by the interpretation of hypersensitive sounds, the vestibular system may be impacted and result in the triggering of the fight or flight response. Similarly, the auditory system will become highly sensitive and easily irritated when an individual is in an emotionally triggering situation.

This physiological connection between the systems explains why a child who hears a sound they are sensitive to will react automatically with a highly emotional response, and why many children with underlying vestibular (emotional) issues may develop sound sensitivities.

Not in Control Once this automatic loop response of auditory irritation causing an emotional reaction and vice versa is triggered, a child is no longer in control of their behavior. Those of us who know a child with such sensitivity are aware of the challenging family dynamic this causes, with children sometimes unable to sit at the table during mealtime or accompany the family on a trip or to a social event.

Just as a child with visual issues will act clumsy, a child with sensitivity to sound will act impulsive and explosive in triggering settings, although it may seem like a behavioral problem rather than something physical that is actually occurring internally. Also, because children are usually unable to access coherent language while in panic mode, they are often stuck in this situation where they either avoid the discomfort by withdrawing emotionally or fight the situation by reacting aggressively.

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children and adults, though an adult may have already learned to control their reaction. Eventually, however, it can take its toll on their overall quality of life, especially since day-today sounds like a baby crying and sucking, or a washing machine spinning—which cannot be avoided—will constantly trigger a person and may force them to live in a constant state of anxiety.

The Solution So, what can be done to help Shloimy remain at the supper table when he is sensitive to the sound of Dassi’s chewing? Or Chani, who can’t handle the scraping sound as her father slices the challah? How will the family attend their aunt’s upcoming wedding if Ruchama becomes explosive by the sound of clanging cutlery and booming music?

For starters, validating what your child is experiencing is a significant part of the healing process. Giving your child the assurance that you are aware of what they are going through and are taking the issue seriously is so important. Indeed, one of us recalls our own sensitivities in childhood, though not misophonia per se, and credits our parents’ understanding for how well she was able to deal with it.

Treating the root of an issue is always most effective, and with misophonia and hyperacusis, it may involve either desensitizing auditory sensitivities that are triggering an emotional response, or dealing with the activation of the fight or flight response that is triggering auditory sensitivities. Once the core problem is addressed, auditory trainings are sometimes used to retrain children to re-acclimate to the sounds they are sensitive to so they can handle hearing them without triggering an emotional response.

A child who has been traumatized may have formed a negative association between a specific sound and the trauma. For instance, a train passing the location or the ticking of a clock in the room may have become noxious to the child due to the association with the frightening experience. In such a case, the trauma is dealt with as the root of the issue to avoid the emotional response; later, the child will be retrained to handle that specific sound without the auditory system being triggered.

Here are some practical solutions that can be implemented to adjust the family dynamic and avoid auditory-vestibular loop response whenever possible.

Proprioception

Sing Along

Visualization and CBT

In general, when one of the body’s systems is lacking, a different system will compensate for the lack. In this case, one of the best systems to rely on is the proprioceptive system. This system gives us a sense of where we are in space and enables us to stay organized and be able to interpret information more easily. Physical actions, like putting your hands together or stepping on the floor barefoot, will release neurochemicals that stimulate the proprioceptive system.

This explains why hugging a child or taking their hands into your own during a tantrum will usually bring a child back into focus and calm them.

Somehow, having the child sing along with—and often louder than— the others at the table often helps them handle the singing sounds. The same is true with any other sound they find irritating; they can try chewing or shuffling their feet when the sound of someone else doing so is bothersome.

Teaching kids mindfulness and visualization while taking deep breaths will shift their focus to something tangible and relaxing, helping to quiet the autonomic fight-or-flight response when the situation arises. For example, visualizing a balloon filling with air as they breathe in and out while sitting at the table where triggering sounds are present will avoid the flare-up of the nervous response, even though the physical irritation will remain.

So, without treating the root of the problem, we can teach children to stimulate proprioception, for example, through the mouth, by chewing on something hard and crunchy, or through touch, by holding a fidget toy. This will give them a better awareness of themselves while in a situation where a sound is difficult to handle and help mitigate the issue.

Seating Arrangements Allowing sensitive children to eat Shabbos meals in the kitchen or at the far end of the table, if that helps avoid the sounds they can’t tolerate, is one way to convey that their issue is being taken seriously.

Background Music Since these triggers are very emotionally correlated, exposure therapy may not be effective; on the contrary, it is quite likely to increase the damage by repeatedly creating the loop response. Also, as misophonia and hyperacusis are anticipatory, just thinking of a specific sound or knowing one will be in a situation where such a sound is present later in the day will already create an emotional reaction. Therefore, rather than exposing a child to an intolerable sound again and again, teaching them to focus on a sound they can handle, such as soft music, will be a lot more effective. Playing soft background music can greatly help minimize triggers for a child suffering from misophonia, as it creates a pleasant sound to focus on instead of the irritating one. This can regulate them to be in a place of handling the sound they’re focusing on and avoid triggering the loop response, which is the integral issue.

Sometimes, cognitive behavioral therapy, which can train children’s minds to realize what is bothering them and retrain their thinking, can be very effective, as well, as children often have a hard time defining the source of their irritation.

Overall Regulation Just like babies who eat and sleep well are generally happy and content, being well rested, eating well, and finding ways to remain in a calm state will help with these issues, too. Incorporating movements and exercise develops improved body awareness and self-perception, enhancing regulation, which will naturally minimize the effects of hypersensitive sounds on one’s emotional and physical wellbeing.

As with all issues that their children exhibit, exercising sensitivity is a key factor for parents to keep in mind when trying to help their child. The more a child feels understood and validated, the greater his chances for improvement, healing, and success.

Friedy Singer and Roizy Guttmann are neurodevelopmental therapists and the directors of Hands on OT Rehab Services, Hands on Approaches, and the H.O.P.E. (Hands on Parent Empowerment) Foundation. They are focused on educating and empowering the community to help children with anxiety, processing and learning issues. They can be reached at info@handsonapproaches.com

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To Parent Right In honor of the Yom Tov of vehigadeta levincha, at a time when families spend lots of time together, we bring you an exclusive panel on a subject that pertains to every parent. Here, our esteemed panelists offer valuable food for thought on the true, oft-misunderstood meaning of healthy parenting, as well as advice and guidance regarding one of the most special relationships in our life.

By Shiffy Friedman

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Rabbi Ezra Friedman coaches bachurim and men in their quest toward leading a meaningful life with inner peace and contentment. Through a Torah and Chassidus perspective, he guides individuals to understand and connect to themselves and to their inner emotional world. He lives with his family in Yerushalayim.

David Lieberman, PhD, is a noted speaker and award-winning author with a renowned insight into the human condition. His 12 books, which have been translated into 26 languages and include two New York Times best sellers, have sold millions of copies worldwide. Blending the wisdom of Torah with cutting-edge research, Dr. Lieberman’s writings and lectures captivate both scholar and layman alike, and are enjoyed by people at all levels and from all backgrounds.

Rebbetzin Basie Rosenblatt, LCSW, is actively involved in her family life (her priority), while maintaining a private psychotherapy practice in Brooklyn and Lakewood. As the wife of a Rosh Yeshiva, she happily hosts her family and friends, as well as the bachurim from the yeshiva.

Chani Juravel, LCSW, Chani Juravel, LCSW, is a popular lecturer and therapist in private practice in Rockland County, NY, treating women of all ages as well as couples, both in person and virtually.

Chani’s new book, “Sefirah in our Lives: Transforming our Relationships with Ourselves, Others, and Hashem,” is now available from Feldheim.

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Dr. David Lieberman

What motivates a child to obey? What drives some kids to follow in the path of their parents while others have a hard time “toeing the line”?

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We can motivate ourselves and others through one of two ways: extrinsic or intrinsic. Extrinsic motivation refers to external tactics, including offering rewards and instilling a fear of punishment. Intrinsic motivation refers to an innate desire to do what one is told or expected to do.

A parent can choose to motivate extrinsically, such as through instilling fear, but this approach never works long-term. Intrinsically, however, every child is wired to want to connect to their parents and to want their love and acceptance. Tapping in to this kind of motivation is what yields positive long-term results.

How can we do that as parents? Fewer things are more valuable than positive reinforcement and simchah. It’s through this route that we help a child connect to his own intrinsic motivation to obey. Focus on the positive in your child and foster the parent-child connection.

It’s important for us parents to understand that the barometer of our success is not if our children look just like us. Rather, it’s that they are frum and besimchah. We want them to happy with their path of Yiddishkeit, with their way of serving Hashem. Recognize that every child is on their own path and understand that when a child deviates on the spectrum of Yiddishkeit (while remaining a frum Yid) it is not an indication that we did anything wrong or that we made any mistakes as parents.

However, it is important to note that sometimes a child’s decision to deviate from his parent’s path is solely reactionary. He didn’t choose it because he was drawn to it, but davka because he doesn’t want to be associated with his parents’ style. A child can either go in a different direction in a healthy way or from an unhealthy motivation. Sometimes, when parents put too many constraints on their children, this places a stress on them, and even if a child would have gone in the direction of the parents, he purposely opposes it because of his negative association with their path.

Our goal as parents is to raise children who have a love for Judaism. If they’re raised in a warm environment, where avodas Hashem is a source of joy, wherever their neshamah takes them will be a good and healthy place for them.

Rabbi Ezra Friedman

Basie Rosenblatt, LCSW

Hashem implanted in every child an innate desire to admire and emulate his parents.

They are the people he wants to be like when he grows up, the people whose path he wants to follow, as well as the people from whom he draws his sense of security and safety.

These questions would have been answered very differently a decade ago, and even more so two decades ago. Things evolve over time, and what we understand as correct today was not necessarily correct for another time and another place.

A child naturally admires that which his parents value or exhibit. Ironically, children will follow even their parents’ negative behaviors for this reason. A child who grows up with a parent whose default reaction to a trigger is anger, for example, may find himself responding in just the same way. As much as the child is consciously aware of the repercussions of this behavior—he knows how unpleasant it was for him to be that target as a child—he may very well repeat that same behavior, simply because there’s a place in him that admires it, that views it as “grownup” and powerful. This is the extent to which the desire to emulate his parents is ingrained in a child.

In general, as long as a child maintains positive feelings toward his parents, and he feels good in following the path they set out for him, it won’t even occur to him to choose something else. We naturally gravitate to what makes us feel good, secure, successful, and familiar. It’s our default choice.

I believe it’s important for parents to understand that no child obeys all the time. Some children are naturally more inclined to be rule followers, and others have harder time with that. They’re often the more independent thinkers, as well. But, as a rule, children want to please their parents when they feel that their parents have a genuine interest in them and that the relationship is not all about giving orders, but rather teamwork.

When children feel that they’re part of something, they’re happy and will do whatever it takes to be a part of that. When they can’t do what’s being asked of them, that doesn’t mean they’re being defiant.

Sometimes, they just can’t do it at that moment, and we need to understand that as well.

I believe that when children are spoken to respectfully and what’s being asked of them is because the parents know that they can do it, they will do it. For the most part, children live up to the expectations that we have of them.

Also, if we make what we have in here (the home) feel better than what’s out there, children will want what’s here. But, if what’s here doesn’t feel good, they’ll want what’s there. As parents, we should try to make home our everything. It’s where we live, where we love, where we celebrate, where we can be sad. When children have that kind of positive association with their home, they’ll want to take that home with them everywhere.

However, when a child senses pain or discomfort in his relationship with his parents—when he doesn’t experience that good, secure, loved feeling at home or in their presence—the child may start questioning this path. Often, this is a subconscious decision in which the child is simply seeking a means through which to feel positive emotions.

Chani Juravel, LCSW

Thus, it’s not so much about how to motivate a child to follow in his parents’ path, as much as it is about how not to impair the child’s intrinsic desire to do so.

Many years ago, when my father a”h once came over to visit and my two-year-old son wasn’t sharing, I expressed my frustration. And he said to me, “Look at what the Mishnah teaches us in Avos: ‘Sheli sheli veshelcha shelcha beinoni.’ That’s amazing. Your son is a beinoni. You can’t expect a two-year-old to be a tzaddik!”

As much as this is true, there are always exceptions to the rule and we also believe that each of us is born with a yetzer hara. In other words, it’s our work as parents to do our best, but we must also bear in mind that the child will ultimately make his own choices that may or may not reflect on our efforts.

It never helps for parents to judge themselves negatively, only to keep doing their best and to encourage themselves for doing so.

When looking for answers, we can never do better than turning to Tanach. It’s there that we learn that yetzer lev ha’adam ra mine’urav, the inclination of man is bad from his youth. Until the age of bar or bas mitzvah, we parents are our children’s external conscience. We’re the ones who are giving them the sense of right and wrong, and our expectations of them must be realistic.

If we want our children to do what’s right, we have to catch them doing right, to give them positive reinforcement.

Sometimes, our efforts and speeches are simply not their language. I remember babysitting a kid whose mother instructed him to “behave” before she left. He said to her, “I’m being have!” We have to make sure our children understand our language, that they get our messages. For the most part, when our children aren’t obeying, we should assume they do want to please us, but that our expectations are either too high or they just don’t understand what we’re asking of them.

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Once a parent has already noticed that a particular child is exhibiting challenging behavior, whether in school or at home, what is one important tip to keep in mind in dealing with the child?

Dr. David Lieberman First, keep in mind that just because we observe something as challenging doesn’t mean it actually is an issue. As parents, we have negius. It’s therefore a good idea to run anything that concerns us by a third party. This doesn’t have to be a formal session, just a simple conversation, whether with a wise friend, a family member, the child’s teacher, etc. Just ask, “Is this something that’s an issue?” Surprisingly for the parent, half the time the response will be, “No, this is normal.” We’re sometimes a little too quick to say, “Oops, there’s a problem…” (Other times we push things under the rug, but that’s another conversation altogether.)

So, just because we observe challenging behavior doesn’t mean it exists. In the event that we do ascertain that the child’s conduct is out of the norm, the next step is to determine whether it’s wise to address it at all. It’s a good idea to follow the advice often given by a medical doctor, “Let’s just watch this and see how it develops.”

Intervention isn’t always necessary; there’s what to be said about the wait-and-see approach. Sometimes, making an issue out of something creates the issue itself. Keep in mind that the child may very well outgrow this behavior. Knowing that he won’t exhibit it ten years down the line certainly decreases the pressure.

If, after serious contemplation, the parents want to actually address the issue, by all means they should go ahead and do what they can to help their child. Whether this means having a conversation with the child or seeking the proper help, what’s important is that the child shouldn’t feel that they’re deficient or defective because of the issue. Whatever initials they’re slapped with, the child shouldn’t feel that something’s wrong with them. They’ll feed almost entirely off the parent, so it’s important for the parent to truly feel that way. When a parent doesn’t just accept the child and his issues but can also celebrate them authentically, the child will be able to deal with it in a much healthier way.

So much of how an issue develops is impacted by the parents’ perspective on it.

Parents who recognize that their child’s issue is part of his tikkun in this world—it’s the reason he’s here—will find that this perspective goes a long way in helping them and their child. Furthermore, when parents see what their children are going through as a means for their own growth—that it is why they exist, and not just an interference or inconvenience—they tend to address the issue from a much better place.

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Rabbi Ezra Friedman In such cases, it helps for parents to bear in mind that there’s not always something they can do to solve their child’s problem. In their exasperated state, parents understandably seek some type of solution, but often there simply is none.

And when there is nothing to do, it’s best to let go and let things develop, until the opportunity for intervention arises.

Attempting to fix something that can’t be fixed at the moment only leads to more frustration and disappointment. Thus, before trying to problem-solve, the question that’s wise to ask—preferably in discussion with a third party—is whether there is anything that should and can be done.

Interestingly, if the answer to this question is yes, the work that can be done is often not on the child’s part, but on the part of the parents. While there are exceptions, the most helpful way to handle an issue our child is exhibiting is for us to make certain changes or improvements within that directly influence the child. As far-fetched as it may seem that changing our behavior will impact our children’s behavior, all we need to do is take a look at ourselves and observe who had the greatest impact on us. Was it someone who tried imposing his will and demands on us, or someone who was our role model, whose behavior we wanted to emulate?

It’s true that the child is the one exhibiting the problem—whether social, emotional, or behavioral— and that there may be ways to directly change his behavior, but many of those solutions are often not within our reach, and changing others, we know, is virtually impossible. What we’re left with then, is working on ourselves.

So, before we enter panic mode, some of the questions we may want to ask ourselves are, “How is my connection to this child? How much do I honestly love him? Do I accept him for who he is? Have I wholeheartedly surrendered to the fact that he’s not a mushlam? How much patience do I have for him? How much quality time do I spend with him?”

It’s questions like these that will hopefully engender positive change within us, thus impacting the child in a way that will truly target his issue. In most cases, this type of intervention will be’ezras Hashem be most effective.

Basie Rosenblatt, LCSW

Chani Juravel, LCSW

Children exhibit challenging behavior all the time; just because they’re doing so doesn’t mean the parent is doing something wrong. We see it in the best of places too. What’s most important is for them to feel they have parents and family who are supporting them, who will help them navigate their way through what’s happening.

First, there’s no such thing as a bad child. The beauty in character development is that every middah can be channeled in a positive direction. A child with a temper can eventually direct his indignation toward misdeeds. When the trait of envy is used right, it can motivate us to emulate others.

When parents are told their child has done something wrong, such as at school, parents shouldn’t jump to the conclusion that the child was necessarily in the wrong. Sometimes, someone else is wrong. Either way, as the parent, you’re always on your child’s team, even if they were wrong. The child must feel that “we’re doing this together.” This is not about condoning negative behavior; it’s about giving the child the sense that even if he erred, you’re here to help him get better.

Challenging behavior is sometimes temporary, and sometimes it’s the beginning of something more serious. Parents really need to find out what’s happening when they become aware of an issue, and throughout it all, to never stop loving the child.

Parents should have the confidence that they’re the best parents for that child. To know that Hakadosh Baruch Hu gives each neshamah its most appropriate parent is a very comforting thought for parents who feel that they can’t handle what’s on their plate. The child’s behavior may be highly uncomfortable for them, but if parents keep in mind that this is what they’re both going through together, they will find it easier to manage.

The most frightening thing in the world is for a child to feel that he’s too much for his parents. If they can’t handle him, how is he supposed to handle himself? It’s their belief in him that will translate into how he deals with himself.

In that same vein, it’s wise for parents to use the way they feel toward that child—whether incompetent, frustrated, angry, or inferior—as a compass to understand how the child feels about himself. Subconsciously, we transmit to others what we feel inside. If this is how we feel around this child, it’s an indication that he feels the same way, and those emotions should be dealt with in a loving, constructive manner.

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How do you believe an adult’s own childhood impacts his parenting later in life?

Rabbi Ezra Friedman

Dr. David Lieberman

In addition to emulating his parents, an adult who was the recipient of unhealthy parenting will also be triggered more easily. He may feel more insecure, unloved, or unworthy. All of these emotions will have a direct impact on how he relates to his own children, as well as others in his life. For example, a parent who didn’t feel safe and secure in their own childhood may be a very anxious adult, worrying incessantly about his children, taking extreme measures to ensure their safety and health, etc. Or a parent who didn’t feel good enough as a child may find that he parents from a place of guilt—that he doesn’t feel good enough as a parent either. All of these feelings from the past certainly impact parenting, as well.

Incredibly.

Most kids who grow up in a less-than-ideal home will either mirror what was modeled to them or take their parenting to the opposite extreme. The more self-aware we are, the more we’re inoculated against making the same mistakes or taking the reactionary approach. Self-awareness is key here.

Hashem created a fascinating parenting system, in which, ideally, it’s a team of husband and wife.

Often, the child we find most difficult to parent is either exactly like us or the exact opposite. If we find that our own stuff is getting in the way with our parenting, we can always have our spouse deal with that child.

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As we discussed in the first segment of this panel, it’s subconsciously ingrained in a child to want to emulate his parents—in all areas of life, including parenting itself. Unless the adult child becomes aware of what was or wasn’t effective or healthy in the parenting he received, he will follow suit. Hopefully, this means he will provide his children with the same loving, warm, solid upbringing he was privileged to receive. The same holds true if his childhood experience was less than ideal.

Ironically, an adult may even be going for help in trying to overcome the pain from his past, yet still commit those same mistakes in his own relationship with his children for the reason described above. For example, a child who had to serve as the “guardian” for one of his parents may subconsciously expect his children to fill that same role in his relationship with them.

So yes, our childhood has a direct and indirect impact on our parenting, and only with genuine self-awareness will an adult who had a less-than-ideal childhood break the pattern for his own children.

Basie Rosenblatt, LCSW I believe it contributes and underscores everything we are and everything we do. There’s an old adage that goes, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all.” We all have a default pattern that we fall into unless we do something to stop it.

We carry certain genetic tendencies, but we’re also products of our environment. In addition to being very affected by the people who raised us, we’re also greatly impacted by the people we were raised with—our siblings. All these factors play a role in our parenting, and we often need to take a good look at ourselves and see what we want to continue doing and what we want to bring an end to, and then find out how. Everyone has the potential to be a wonderful parent.

Chani Juravel, LCSW It depends on what the adult has done about their childhood! Even if we had the most idyllic childhood, we might assume there’s only one way and stick everyone into that mold. If an adult never processed their emotions from childhood, they may repeat what was familiar without paying proper attention to whether it’s good for their child or not. Not every style fits every child, generation, or circumstance. But if they have done work, they may have learned what not to do, and what did or didn’t work.

What all of us can and should do, regardless of our experiences growing up, is to use our childhood to remember what it felt like to be a kid. Instead of thinking what our parents did or didn’t do, we can use our memories of that time to tap into the emotions that children experience.

When I was a principal, and teachers would tell me about the incompetent teachers they’d had, I would tell them that in order for them to be successful teachers, they don’t need successful teachers as role models; they only need to think about what it felt like to be a student. Once they connect to that inner student, they will know what their students need in order to thrive.

Someone who lost his father in his youth once shared that because he remembered what it felt like to be without a father, knowing what he really missed and needed from a father gave him a perspective of what he wanted to be as a father. That’s a most constructive way to make use of our memories from childhood: to understand what we want to be for our children—and to be that.

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What do you believe is the main foundation in building a positive parent-child relationship?

What’s the best advice you’d give for parents?

Dr. David Lieberman Simchah.

Everything stems from that. Emunah and bitachon, empathy, validation, emes—all of these are critical components, but what charges the relationship is simchah.

If a child believes they’re a chore, or that Yiddishkeit is old-fashioned and arduous, why would he want that for himself? Yes, we want to instill emunah and bitachon, but doing it in a fire and brimstone way, in a way that doesn’t inspire, turns the child off. Simchah is the fuel that charges our connection with our children and their connection with Yiddishkeit.

Connect with the beauty in your child—the good, the positive. An excitement and awe of him should be oozing out of you. If you can’t do that, then by all means fake it. Do what it takes to let your children know that you’re enjoying them!

To live with simchah is to see what’s working, to see the good. It’s about not being focused on the problems and what’s not okay. The more we appreciate a child and who they are—and we accept and even celebrate their struggles—the more beautiful our relationship will be.

Rabbi Ezra Friedman There’s nothing a child needs more than us simply being there for them. Sure, there are hours in the day when we will be busy with other obligations, but if they feel our presence at any time throughout the day, even when we aren’t with them they will always feel this sense of security, that we’re carrying them in our hearts, that they’re always first and center place in our life.

As simple as it seems, being present—fully, fully present—necessitates work on our part. To clear the mind and be completely focused on the right now, especially if being with our children brings up a lot of emotions for us, is no simple feat.

A child’s strongest need is to feel that they’re loved and cared for by parents who are present to them and their needs. In order to provide them with this feeling we need to actually be there, primarily on an emotional level. This means having a heart that is open for our children.

Often, our heart is shut off from them and others due to fears. The primary casualty of our fear and resistance to emotion is our presence.

The more we work on ourselves to clear out our fears and anxieties, the more our heart opens up and we can radiate love and joy, which is the greatest gift we can give our children and everyone around us.

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Basie Rosenblatt, LCSW

Chani Juravel, LCSW

Make your children feel that you love what you’re doing—that you love being their parent and there’s no place you’d rather be than with them.

Most important is to have the time, focus, and real desire to listen to and learn from our kids.

They need to know that we really are there, holding their life with them, that nothing about them would be too much for us, and that they are our joy.

When we had three little kids and my husband was off in the summer, we went away for five days. I told my mother we would be going on a little vacation and she said, “That is wonderful.

Would you mind if I ask you a personal question? Can you tell me what you’re vacationing from? The home is really where you want to be!” She could not understand it. Why would I want to go away from what I love most?

Of course, it’s nice to spend time as a couple once in a while, but it’s hard to understand how parents keep leaving their kids or for a long time. Those children feel that their parents need a break from them, and that’s not a good feeling.

If parents feel that their parenting is weighing down heavily on them, they may want to examine why that’s so. I think we’re sold on the idea that getting away is good for us, but what are we teaching our kids?

We should rather invest in enjoying being home, enjoying being with our kids. Do what you can to love being around them, share your life with them in a healthy way, with proper boundaries.

Our children should feel that they’re the greatest joy that we can have in life, that they’re not just showpieces for us but the source of all our excitement.

Another great parenting tip I learned from my mother, Mrs. Hinda Tress a”h, was never to discuss one child with another child. If I ever asked her about another sibling, she’d say, “You’ll have to call and ask them.” It gives the child a feeling of trust, that whatever they share or however we feel about them is safe with us.

Parenting is not necessarily about having the right answers, but for our children to know that we’re really in it with them. Hakadosh Baruch Hu, the perfect Parent, doesn’t always fix everything for us. Rather, we take comfort in knowing that imo Anochi batzarah, He’s with us in our pain. And there’s so much more to learn from Hashem’s relationship with us, kavyachol. As we say in our Rosh Hashanah davening, He’s meivin umaazin mabit umakshiv, He hears us, listens to us, sees us, and pays attention to us. That’s our model for parenting. We can’t be better than G-d!

Having had a really wonderful father, I don’t remember all the things he did right, but I do remember the times he apologized for what he couldn’t do, and the times we shared together.

When I was getting married, my father said to me, “You’ll be balancing a lot of balls in life.

It’s up to you to decide which ones are rubber and which ones are glass.” Our kids are those glass balls; we want to give our parenting our all.

Let us remember that we are replaceable everywhere else, but no one can ever take our place as our children’s parent.

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FIRE, WATER, AIR, AND EARTH. WHICH ONE IS YOUR DOMINANT TRAIT?

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ON PESACH, A TIME WHEN WE EXPERIENCE LIBERATION FROM THE SHACKLES OF OUR PERSONAL GALUS, WE’RE AFFORDED A DEEPER GLIMPSE INTO THE SELF. WHEN ALL THE LAYERS OF GRIME ARE PEELED AWAY, WHAT DO WE DISCOVER? GET TO KNOW THE STRENGTHS OF YOUR CHARACTER THROUGH THIS TORAH-BASED PERSONALITY TYPING.

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H

Hashem created the world and everything it contains with four elements: fire, water, air, and earth.

Human beings are no exception. This not only impacts our physical makeup, but it plays a role in our personality, as well. For each of us, the sefarim teach, one element is most dominant.

By identifying our element, we can gain clarity regarding our spiritual development and how we can use these elements to become our best selves. In Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh, Rav Issamar Schwartz explains that since every one of us contains some of each element, our role is not to channel only the main element for the good, but also to balance all of the elements in our own particular composition.

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The nature of fire is to rise upward, its flames bounding in all directions, eager to consume whatever comes into contact with it.

The positive aspect of this element is the desire to strive and accomplish, to reach great heights, and to lead and take responsibility. This element is what often drives leaders and ambition-driven individuals, who seem to have endless energy to achieve and conquer.

On the flip side, fire represents criticism and condescension toward others, and the tendency to crave power and control. In Shaarei Kedushah, Rav Chaim Vital writes that the element of fire in the soul is the source of arrogance and anger, all of which can be channeled in the right direction.

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Water spreads everywhere, taking on the shape of the vessel that contains it. It goes with the flow, literally, as it is naturally unbounded, unlimited, and unrestricted. People with a strong water element find it easy to give, connect with others, and spread themselves to fulfill the needs of others. They tend to be friendly, flexible, outgoing, and generous.

Their main weakness lies in a lack of self-restraint and pursuit of physical pleasures. They may have a hard time maintaining boundaries.

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The most complicated of the elements, air is fluff, ephemeral, seemingly nonexistent. It blows one way and another, never fixed permanently anywhere, never taking a stand. It’s invisible, and it could be in one place when we think it’s in another. Those with this dominant element tend to lack concern about the physical world. They may be more spiritual, idealistic, and living in the world of ideas. They may have a yearning to transcend this world and connect with energies and nontangible aspects of existence.

Their weakness involves the power of speech, which is also dependent upon air for its life source. They tend toward meaningless chatter, gossip, flattery, and deceit, and are able to manipulate the truth for their own gains. They may also have a hard time sticking to routine and order, as they subconsciously assume they can be everywhere at the same time.

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Low and heavy, earth stays in one place, continuously stepped on and caught in gravity’s domain. People who have more of this element tend toward laziness, sadness, and despair. These are their main weaknesses. They have a heaviness about them, craving comfort and lack of effort.

The main work in overcoming this flaw is pushing toward accomplishment and growth.

On the good side, however, these people don’t tend to get into power struggles.

They are compliant, humble, and willing to cooperate. They forgo and give in. They are good team players and are reliable and trustworthy, loyal and steadfast in their preferences and relationships.

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SUMMARY OF ELEMENTS

THE CAVEAT

Identifying our most dominant element doesn’t only help us in our own selfgrowth journey; it helps us understand that the core element that makes us tick may not be the same for someone else. This is especially important to keep in mind in close relationships, such as marriage and parenting, when we may be quick to grow frustrated at those who don’t operate the way we do.

Recognizing that each of us is driven by a different powerful element goes a long way in helping us achieve more inner and outer peace.

Personality typing is potentially powerful. However, it’s important to be mindful of its pitfalls. When understood too restrictively, we may be at risk of categorizing ourselves (and others!) as one-dimensional, and follow the path set out for us by the developer of whichever personality system we ascribe to. However, the beauty in Torah-based typing is that we are not defined by a particular set of traits. Rather, we understand that this particular element is most dominant and that when utilized properly, we can use our unique G-d-given qualities as strengths that enable us to achieve our purpose in this world.

‫אל גינת‬ IN SHORT: Positive

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Negative

FIRE

Ambitious, driven

Arrogance, anger

WATER

Generous, loving

Lack of self-restraint, boundary issues

AIR

Spiritual, idealistic

Meaningless chatter, gossip

EARTH

Loyal, compliant

Laziness, despair

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‫אל גינת אגוז ירדתי‬ WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5782

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INNER PARENTING

My Child, My Teacher With this perspective, we approach parenting with positivity and awe

by Rabbi Ezra Friedman So much information is available to us on the topic of chinuch. A plethora of books have been written on the subject, and there’s no dearth of lectures and classes to help guide us parents in raising healthy, well-adjusted, good children.

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As an extension to the responses I offered in this issue’s parenting panel, I’d like to elaborate in this space on one aspect of parenting that is not discussed often enough. As counterintuitive as it may seem, our children are more a product of the work we’ve done on ourselves than the work we’ve done on them.

What are the lessons we learn from our children? First, when I see something in my child that needs improvement, I’m looking at something I need to improve within. Our sefarim teach us that the reason why a child conducts himself in a certain way is to serve as an eye-opener for us regarding our own avodah. Whether it’s working on our patience, kindness, and acceptance within the relationship, or looking within to notice how their flaw reflects on ours, when we view parenting from this perspective, we’re simply awed by the messages we’re being sent from Hashem.

So much of who our children grow up to be is a direct result of the work we invested not in teaching, instructing, or preaching, but in modeling, working on our middos, and giving the relationship our all. Furthermore, if we want to know which aspect of our inner world requires improvement, all we must do is take a look at our children. They teach us so much, to the extent that we can call them our mechanchim.

The thought that our children’s behaviors are like a laser light shining into us directly from Hakadosh Baruch Hu, informing us of what we need to improve, is at once obligating and jolting. Yes, it may feel uncomfortable, especially at the start. It’s not pleasant to be forced to notice our flaws or to have to take responsibility. But if it’s understood correctly, and we’re cognizant that this personal “urim vetumim,” so to speak, will enable us to

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get closer and closer to our purpose in this world, we can see it as a pure gift.

While the parent-child relationship can bring us much joy and delight, there’s no denying that as parents, we’ll experience some very frustrating, disappointing, and difficult moments. Bearing in mind that it’s these challenging experiences that are our indicators toward sheleimus significantly eases the burden and helps us appreciate the opportunity for growth.

It’s these children who bring us to our chayei Olam Haba.

Blessed is the parent who’s aware that when a challenging moment comes up, it’s not about the child; the child is just the mirror, showing the parent what inner work needs to be done. Instead of feeling at a loss, which leads to erring in parenting, we parents can use these moments constructively, toward achieving our purpose in this world. And incredibly, when we welcome the lessons Hashem sends us in our life, they’re sweeter. We appreciate the purpose they serve—and then they serve their purpose.

F A M I L Y

F A V O R I T E S

F O R

F I V E

G E N E R A T I O N S

ON THIS NIGHT, WE DIP TWICE ‫טובה כפולה‬ • ‫• ומכופלת‬

•

S T J U

L I K E

H O M E M A D E

•

HORSERADISH WITH BEETS

•DELI• FRESH

CLASSIC The rich taste of an authentic family recipe NET WT 16oz (454g)

ONION DIP

OLIVE DIP

NET WT. 7.5 OZ. (213g)

NET WT. 7.5 OZ. (213g) KEEP REFRIGERATED 38°f or below

KEEP REFRIGERATED 38°f or below

JALA PEÑO DIP NET WT. 7.5 OZ. (213g) KEEP REFRIGERATED 38°f or below

From our family to yours,

‫א כשר און פרייליכן פסח‬ WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5782

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WELLBEING FEATURE

MÉTHODE CHAMPENOISE | SPARKLING CHARDONNAY | RUSSIAN RIVER VALLEY

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PRODUCT OF THE USA • DISTRIBUTED BY ROYAL WINE CORP. • FOR MORE INFO, CALL (718) 384-2400 • WWW.ROYALWINE.COM • PLEASE ENJOY RESPONSIBLY

APRIL 2022 / NISSAN 5782 / ISSUE 75

Pesach Menu

THE PERFECT DISHES TO ENHANCE YOUR YOM TOV MEAL

QUICK & EASY Put your Betty Crocker to good use this Pesach

VERSATILE, NUTRITIOUS, AND ALSO DELICIOUS 3 fun bananabased recipes

MY TABLE Chol Hamoed meals

OPERATION EAT CLEAN 7 FOODS TO INCLUDE IN YOUR PESACH DIET

120 Operation Eat Clean

By Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

123 Going Bananas

By Bina Gottdiener

105 Palate Pleasers

By Yossi & Malky Levine

115 Betty Crocker Pizza Maker

By Charnie Kohn

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105

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SWAP

By Yossi & Malky Levine

Chol Hamoed Meals Wellspring Contributors

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. n e s o h c e h T

. . . n e z o r F

W NETEM I

‫א כשר'ן פרייליכן פסח‬ For wholesale: 845.356.4133

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EDITOR'S NOTE

Dear Cooks,

and—of course—roasted sweet potato strips, with homemade mayonnaise as the dressing. This salad is not only filling; it’s also really, really good. It’s sort of a “treat” I look forward to. I sometimes throw in a handful of walnuts for added flavor and texture, and I even switch up the grilled cutlet with liver for a nice change.

Come Pesach, however, and I’m grateful for this very delicious and very wholesome side dish not only at dinner (especially with this year’s weeklong Chol Hamoed), but also for breakfast and/or lunch, in place of my usual kitniyos or chametz options.

On most Chol Hamoed days, I throw together a flavorful salad of lettuce, sautéed onions, red onions, cucumbers (we only use vegetables that can be peeled), grilled chicken,

Once satiety has been achieved, it’s time for those potato chips and brownies. Actually, this year, make that banana chips! Check out health coach Bina Gottdiener’s creative ideas for banana-based recipes. I love how she makes such great use of this basic Pesach staple, churning out dishes of all kinds to add fun and flavor to the Yom Tov. Try one or try them all!

PINCH OF HEALTH

The one food whose advantages I seem to rediscover every Pesach is the sweet potato. I’m not sure why, but during the year, this nutrient-dense starchy vegetable doesn’t make a frequent appearance on our menu. For breakfast and lunch, I usually opt for carbs that don’t involve much prep, such as rice cakes, corn cakes, or other chametz options. As part of the carb-at-dinner rotation, I usually alternate between brown rice, white rice, quinoa, and mashed white potatoes. Pasta also makes an appearance every now and then, but sweet potatoes not that much.

With this salad I know that no matter where we end up on Chol Hamoed day, the kids (and adults!) won’t constantly be searching through the snack bags in search of that elusive “something” to appease their hunger.

Happy cooking and celebrating and a kasheren Pesach to all,

Esther

Because we know someone’s bound to ask for it, here’s the recipe for the homemade Pesach mayonnaise mentioned above, submitted several years ago by reader Sarala L. Super simple to prepare and super tasty, too. Way better than its commercially sold alternative.

3 large eggs

4 cups oil, divided

3 Tbsp lemon juice

Salt and pepper, to taste

Place eggs in tall airtight container and blend with immersion blender until creamy consistency is achieved.

Gradually add 2 cups oil, a little at a time. At this point, the mayonnaise should begin to solidify.

Add lemon juice. Blend well to combine. Gradually add 2 more cups oil and continue to blend on high speed until all ingredients are incorporated.

Add salt and pepper to taste, and mix. Cover container and refrigerate until ready to use. Lasts about a week in the fridge.

Have a healthy cooking tip to share with the Wellspring community? Please send it to info@wellspringmagazine.com.

Palate Pleasers There’s nothing as intriguing as developing Pesach recipes.

When we’re limited by which type of ingredients we use, our full creativity has a chance to shine. We can even create and enjoy a restaurant-grade meal worthy of being served all year round.

We loved creating these recipes. The ingredients are basic, but the combinations and flavors are what make these dishes special.

A kasheren, freilechen Pesach, Yossi and Malky

Recipes, Styling, and Photography by Yossi & Malky Levine

PALATE PLEASERS

Sous Vide Steak Sous vide cooking allows you to bring your cooking to steakhouse levels. Thanks to its high-heat cooking method, the results are that perfect medium-rare sweet balance. Since I got a sous vide cooker, I love experimenting with different cuts of meat. Often, I’ll have the meat sit there for over 48 hours. The results are divine!

I paired this rib steak with a sweet wine glaze and completed the dish with a deep-flavored celery puree. When serving this on Yom Tov, I suggest finishing the sous vide cooking on Yom Tov and searing right before serving.

2-inch boneless rib steaks

Wine Glaze

salt

2 cups dry red wine

coarse black pepper

1½ cups chicken or beef stock ½ cup honey

Creamy Celery Puree 2 lbs celery root, cubed

1 Tbsp instant coffee granules

2 Tbsp olive oil

½ tsp salt

2 cubes frozen garlic

2 Tbsp tapioca (or potato) starch, diluted in 2 Tbsp water

salt and pepper, to taste

Preheat sous vide precision cooker to 140°F. Fill with water. Allow water bath to come to temperature before adding steak.

Season steak generously with salt and pepper. Place meat in a bag. Seal bag, either by using a vacuum sealer or, if you're using a ziplock bag, removing as much air as possible. Drop bag into water bath, making sure not to block the intake or output sections of your precision cooker. If properly sealed, steak should sink.

Cook for 4 hours, or up to 24 hours if you prefer a pull-apart texture.

Remove steak from bag and place on a paper towel–lined plate. Pat dry very carefully on both sides.

Add one tablespoon of olive oil to a skillet set over your hottest burner, and preheat the skillet until it starts to smoke. Using a set of tongs, gently lay the steak in the skillet, and allow it to get a nice brown sear (about 30–45 seconds). Flip steak and repeat for other side, then rotate steak along the edges, until all edges are browned.

To prepare the wine glaze: Place all ingredients except starch in a medium saucepan over high heat. Bring to a boil and cook until reduced to half, approximately 10 minutes. Add diluted tapioca starch and continue to boil for an additional 2–3 minutes, giving it a thorough stir. Remove from heat and let cool to thicken.

To prepare the celery puree: Place celery root in a pot, cover with water and bring to a boil. Simmer for 15–20 minutes until fork tender.

Remove from heat. Reserve 1 cup of water from pot and drain the rest. Pour back reserved of water, add remaining ingredients, and blend with an immersion blender until smooth and creamy.

Optional: Add thyme, roasted shallots, and pomegranate arils for garnish.

PALATE PLEASERS

Sticky Balsamic Lamb Chops Brown sugar is a perfect complement when paired with balsamic vinegar, highlighting the intensity of the dish. Garlic is always sensational for flavor, and as you may have already noticed, I love adding it to my dishes.

The cayenne in this sauce adds a nice spice to break up the sweetness.

But if you can’t handle the heat, feel free to omit it.

6 lamb chops salt and pepper, to taste 2 Tbsp olive oil 2 Tbsp minced garlic ¾ cup coconut sugar or brown sugar (see note) ⅓ cup balsamic vinegar ½ tsp cayenne pepper (optional) ½ tsp salt ¼ tsp pepper fresh parsley, for garnishing (optional) Potato Cylinders 8 russet potatoes 2 Tbsp olive oil 3 sprigs fresh thyme or rosemary (optional) salt coarse black pepper garlic powder 1½ cups chicken stock

Season lamb chops on each side with salt and pepper to taste.

Place olive oil in a skillet and heat over high heat. Once pan is hot, sear chops for 1 minute on each side. Remove chops and set aside.

Reduce heat to medium-low. Add minced garlic to pan and cook for 1 minute, making sure not to burn. Whisk in sugar, balsamic vinegar, cayenne pepper, salt, and pepper. Continue cooking until sauce starts to thicken.

Add chops back into pan, baste with sauce, and continue to cook chops until desired level of doneness is achieved. Remove chops from pan and garnish with parsley before serving, if desired.

To prepare the potatoes: Preheat oven to 350°F. Peel potatoes and cut them into about 2–3-inch thick cylinders.

Heat skillet with olive oil over mediumhigh heat. Add potatoes with sprigs of thyme or rosemary (if desired) and brown potatoes until golden, about 3–4 minutes. Transfer to a baking dish, golden side up.

Generously season potatoes with salt, pepper, and garlic powder and fill baking dish with chicken stock. Bake uncovered for about 30 minutes or until potatoes are fork tender.

Optional: Garnish the plates with roasted zucchini rolls and spinach leaves.

Note: If your minhag is to only use regular sugar, that could work too.

‫כולו נאה כולו יאה‬

NEWLY DEFINED SERIES:

CAPITAL IMPERIAL ESTATE MOSCATO

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THE BETTY CROCKER PIZZA MAKER

TOOL OF THE MONTH

CULINARY TOOLBOX When deciding which gadget to feature in the Pesach edition, I took a few factors into consideration. First, it had to be a tool that would be especially helpful for this time of year, when many home cooks make do with much fewer kitchen utensils and less equipment. It also had to be affordable.

This season is costly as it is; I wasn’t going to introduce an additional major expense to the list. The tool also had to be very functional and serve a great all-around purpose.

The Betty Crocker Pizza Maker was the first product that came to mind.

This handy red gadget, making its appearance in kitchens the world over, was originally intended to be a pizza maker for home chefs, but it’s become a widespread multi-purpose sensation — and that’s not for no reason.

Ideal for much more than just pizza, the Betty Crocker’s greatest bonus is that cooking time is exponentially less than with an oven or stovetop. For about forty-five dollars, you have an affordable and portable oven.

Since I don’t have a dairy oven, I rely heavily on my Betty Crocker to cook my dairy delicacies all year round. And on Pesach, when I don’t have a proper oven at all, we used to eat out most meals. But now that we’ve been introduced to this red magic gadget, we’re looking forward to using our own mini-oven to whip up lunches and dinners.

Here’s another bonus that’s especially relevant for Yom Tov: the device is ideal for travel on Chol Hamoed. If you’re planning any overnight or even daylong trips, this handy little oven will come to great use.

In this feature, I share two fabulous, filling recipes that require this gadget, but all it takes is a bit of creativity to make use of it for many more dishes.

At a price tag this affordable, getting one for dairy and one for meat allows for even more quick-and-easy meal prep.

Happy cooking and a kasheren Pesach,

Charnie

Recipes, Styling, and Photography by Charnie Kohn WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5782

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WITH SQUASH MEDLEY

ORANGE ONION SALMON

CULINARY TOOLBOX

Vibrant is the adjective that perfectly describes this onepot lunch or dinner recipe. The ingredients are simple, the flavors are bold, and the effort is minimal. It’s everything you’re looking for in a deliciously easy Pesach dinner!

3–4 slices salmon fillet Marinade Juice of 1 large orange (or ¼ cup orange juice) 2 Tbsp honey, plus more for drizzling 1 tsp salt ⅛ tsp black pepper ½ purple onion, finely minced, divided Squash Medley 1 cup butternut squash, diced 1 cup yellow squash, diced 1 cup zucchini, diced 2 Tbsp oil 1 tsp salt ⅛ tsp black pepper

In a bowl, mix orange juice, honey, salt, and pepper.

Add two tablespoons of the minced onion. Place salmon in the marinade bowl and allow to marinate for a few minutes.

Meanwhile, heat Betty Crocker Pizza Maker and add in diced squash and oil. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.

Sauté with the lid open for ten minutes. Add remaining minced onion and cover lid. Allow vegetables to cook for an additional six minutes.

Move vegetables to the side and place fish in the center. Pour marinade over fish; cover and cook for four minutes. Drizzle salmon with some more honey, cover, and cook for about another minute.

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STEAK AND POTATOES

CULINARY TOOLBOX

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No better way to name this simple yet delicious staple Pesach dish, an all-time classic. Usually, the one downside of this dish is that it requires about two hours of cooking time. Use this method, and your gourmet dinner will be ready in just twenty minutes!

2–4 slices club steak 2 Tbsp oil 2 medium onions, thinly sliced 5 Yukon gold potatoes, sliced into small wedges 1 Tbsp salt, divided black pepper, to taste 1 Tbsp honey

Heat oil in Betty Crocker Pizza Maker.

Add onions, potatoes, salt, pepper, and honey. Mix well until evenly coated and cook covered for five minutes. Flip potatoes and cook for five more minutes.

Season steaks with more salt and pepper. Move potatoes to the side and add steaks to center.

Sear uncovered for five minutes per side. If you prefer meat that’s more thoroughly cooked, sear until desired readiness is achieved.

SWAP

SWA P

By Yossi & Malky Levine

Crispy Sweet Potato Fries No need for splattering oil! These fries are made in the oven for an easy and nutritious dish.

Opting for sweet potatoes rather than the traditional white spuds adds an extra dose of fiber, calcium, and vitamins A, C, and B6. Plus, it cuts out roughly 20 grams of carbohydrates per one-cup serving. It’s that simple!

3–4 medium sweet potatoes, cut to French-fry sticks ¼ cup olive oil 2 Tbsp tapioca starch 1 tsp salt ½ tsp baking powder (optional) Preheat oven to 425°F and line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

Whisk olive oil, tapioca starch, salt, and baking powder until combined. Place sweet potato fries in a bowl or ziplock bag and toss with olive oil mixture.

Arrange fries on baking sheets in a single layer. Do not crowd them as they won’t be crispy. Bake for 15 minutes, remove pans from oven, flip the fries, and then return to oven for an additional 10–15 minutes.

Optional: Garnish with Maldon salt flakes and chopped parsley.

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TIDBITS

OPERATION EAT CLEAN

By Esti As,her MS, RDN, LD

SEVEN ODSF TO INUDE CL IN YOUR PESCH A DIET Pesach is an excellent time to explore the world of clean eating. You may be attempting to combat (or prevent) any gastrointestinal discomfort that may occur from matzah consumption, or you simply may be feeling inspired by the blank slate of a Pesach kitchen that needs to be stocked from scratch. With so many meals to prepare, you may want to explore taking a lighter approach to cooking. Either way, now is an opportune time to explore clean eating, which — for the purpose of this column — we will loosely define as using minimal and wholesome ingredients.

Here are seven ingredients to include for a clean-eating-inspired Pesach.

Lemons

Fruits and vegetables

High in vitamin C and helpful with digestion (among many other benefits), lemons (or lemon juice) can be used in so many ways. Squeeze some lemon into your beverage (with a lemon slice placed on your cup to be extra fancy) or use lemon juice for dressings or marinades. If you use peels, the zest of a lemon can also upgrade the fragrance and visual appeal of your dish.

While this one is obvious, a list of “clean eating” ingredients cannot exclude fruits and vegetables, which are packed with fiber and nutrients. While you may hear some people talk about the sugar content of different fruits, unless there is a medical reason to be extra careful around sugar, the natural sugars within fruits (and vegetables) that are eaten in moderation is not something to be concerned about.

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TIDBITS

Onions

Lean Proteins

Tea

Just like fruits and vegetables, lean proteins like chicken and fish are a must on this list as well. If you want to emphasize “clean” proteins, limit extra-processed protein foods such as hot dogs, sausages, and deli meats. While all foods can find a place within a generally healthy and well-balanced diet, the above-mentioned proteins go through additional processing and should be limited if someone wants to be mindful regarding eating clean.

Sitting down to a cup of warm tea can make you feel relaxed and cozy, and it’s so helpful when you want to slow down and unwind. Also filled with many health benefits, tea is a delicious, nutritious, and clean choice of beverage.

Olive Oil Another great ingredient to use in place of or to create condiments, olive oil can serve as a foundational ingredient in marinades, dressings, and sauces. It can also be used to grease baking pans, and in essentially all oil-including cooking methods.

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A little onion goes a long way when it comes to flavor.

When referring to clean eating, often less is more. Less ingredients on an ingredient list usually indicates that what you’re eating is more wholesome and “clean.” For example, sauces and condiments commonly have many, many ingredients, and would not make the “clean-eating” cut. However, an onion is one example of an excellent way to flavor your food without needing to involve the help of ingredients that are hard to pronounce. To make it convenient, consider sautéing a large amount of onions when you start your cooking spree to have available for use whenever you’ll need them.

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It’s also great to have something to sip when there are so many meals and eating opportunities around — we want to be social and enjoy, but we also don’t want to overeat just because food is around. Sipping a tea can help keep the munchies at bay.

Dates Dates are an awesome and clean option to have around for when your sweet tooth strikes. Whether eaten whole or blended into an energy ball, the sweet and rich flavor of a date can hit the sweet spot when it comes to a craving.

Dates are also rich in fiber and antioxidants, with many benefits including digestive health.

Another Reason to Catch More Zzz’s

Healthy Eating for Your Baby’s Growth

With late Sedorim and other beautiful meals together, as well as the work preparing these events entails, sleep may be hard to come by over Yom Tov, but here’s another reason you should try to get a good stretch of shuteye whenever possible.

The concept of “eating for two” has thankfully become outdated and understood as admittedly false when it comes to dietary recommendations for pregnant women, but what does remain true is that the foods that expectant women eat has an effect on their fetus’s growth and development, and their own health status as well. A healthy and well-balanced diet with a modest increase in calories (specific recommendations depend on stage of pregnancy and maternal details) is ideal for the generally healthy pregnant woman. Additional nutrients such as protein, folic acid, iron, vitamin D, zinc, and calcium are also especially important during pregnancy.

When weight loss is a goal, people are often quick to think about changing their eating and exercise behaviors, and it often stops there. However, there are so many more components needed in order to achieve a healthier lifestyle and weight loss — if that’s one’s goal. Sleep is often overlooked and underrated. A recent study provides more evidence of the importance of getting a good amount of sleep.

The randomized clinical trial included 80 adults who typically slept less than 6.5 hours per night. Two groups were assembled — the control group did not change anything and the second group went through a two-week sleep extension intervention. The latter group was instructed to extend their sleep to include 8.5 hours of sleep instead of their usual 6.5. The researchers found that the intervention group ultimately decreased their daily calorie intake by approximately 270 calories, which resulted in weight loss.

Whether one’s goal is weight loss or not, sleep may play a key role in one’s overall health.

Researchers used a questionnaire called the Healthy Eating Index (HEI) to examine the diets of 762 women either in their third trimester of pregnancy or within the three-month mark after giving birth. The HEI provides an individual a score between 1–100 based on how healthy one’s diet is, with a higher score correlating with a healthier diet. Women who had an HEI score of 70 or higher had lower rates of fetal growth restriction. In addition, high HEI scores were also related to a decreased chance of high blood pressure during pregnancy. This study is an additional reminder of the importance (and potential benefits) of a healthy and well-balanced diet during pregnancy.

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD, is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Self-Care Enthusiast on a mission to help women reach their ultimate health and wellbeing potential inside and out. She shares credible, clear, and inspiring nutrition information with women via her virtual private practice. To contact Esti with feedback or inquiries regarding her nutritional services, please email her at: esti@estiashernutrition.com or visit estiashernutrition.com.

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TIDBITS

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B

GOING ana nas With our Pesach diet substantially limited, those who only eat produce that can be peeled are left with considerably less menu options. For those who prefer sticking to healthy fare, the food pool is even smaller. What’s one nutrient-dense food that ticks all these boxes and is also impressively versatile? Bananas fit the bill to the T. In this feature, I share four fabulous banana-based recipes that are sure to enhance your Pesach snack menu.

Recipes and Text by Bina Gottdiener Styling and Photography by Pessi Piller

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GOING BANANAS

Fully Loaded Banana Splits A fun activity you can enjoy with your kids—followed by a delightful and nutritious dessert!

Bananas Fruit of your choice, chopped Strawberries, blended (if using) Chocolate, melted Almond butter Nuts, crushed Dark chocolate chips Cherries, blueberries (if using)

Cut each banana in half, vertically, and fill with chopped fruit of your choice. Spoon over some blended strawberries and drizzle with melted chocolate and almond butter. Sprinkle with crushed nuts, chocolate chips, cherries, and blueberries.

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GOING BANANAS

Bandwiches These cute little treats satisfy those chocolate cravings with something smooth, creamy, and delicious.

Bananas Almond butter Dark chocolate, melted

Slice bananas into ¼-inch slices. Place almond butter in center of two slices to create a sandwich. Dip half the sandwich into melted chocolate and freeze on a tray until firm. Once firm, sandwiches can be stored in a ziplock in the freezer for a delicious anytime treat.

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GOING BANANAS

Banana Pancakes This is the best healthy version of pancakes. Omit the chocolate chips for a mess-free, protein-filled car snack on the way to an exciting Chol Hamoed destination. You can double and freeze the batter to last you through the second days and beyond.

2 ripe bananas 4 eggs ½ cup almond butter 1 tsp vanilla extract 1 cup chocolate chips Butter or oil, for frying

Blend bananas, eggs, almond butter, and vanilla in blender until smooth. Stir in chocolate chips. Heat a frying pan with butter or oil and fry for 2–3 minutes on one side, and 1 minute on the other.

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GOING BANANAS

Banana Chips A great transportable option to take on Chol Hamoed trips. Delicious for dipping into yogurt, almond butter, chocolate spread, and more!

4 Tbsp water 1 Tbsp lemon juice 2 bananas Cinnamon, for sprinkling (optional) Sea salt (optional)

Preheat oven to 250°F. Combine water with lemon juice. Slice bananas as thinly as possible. Brush with water mixture and sprinkle with cinnamon and sea salt. Bake for up to 2 hours, until crisping at edges, flipping halfway through. Remove from oven and allow to cool, to get them even crispier. Store in a ziplock or container for up to one week.

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THIS MONTH

In the pages of Wellspring, we share expert advice from some of the community’s most popular and competent dietitians and nutritionists. In this column, you get to see how they practice what they preach in their own kitchens. Pull up a chair at “My Table” and join the chat.

CHOL HAMOED MEALS When entertaining your family or guests on Chol Hamoed Pesach with little time to spend in the kitchen, what’s the fastest meal you like to prepare that doesn’t leave everyone feeling lethargic?

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O

A nice piece of rib steak made fresh on the grill pan with some freshly ground black pepper and Himalayan pink salt.

Seven minutes and voilà, its done! Serve with some sautéed veggies and mashed potatoes for a real gourmet dinner. If you want to make this pretty, garnish with some fresh herbs (if you use these on Pesach).

Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC

Compiled by Shiffy Friedman

W Salad, mashed potato pie or roasted potatoes, grilled or coated chicken, and some type of roasted vegetables like broccoli or cauliflower rice dish always go over well around here.

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

You can add zucchini, as well, or right when the chicken comes out, add a bag of frozen veggies. It’ll steam perfectly.

2 egg whites 1 whole egg 1 ripe banana, mashed Cooking spray Combine ingredients in a bowl and mix well.

Spray frying pan with cooking spray and heat on medium-high.

Pour half the batter into frying pan and cook until browned.

Flip pancake over and continue cooking until browned.

Yield: 1 serving (1 large pancake or 2 smaller ones)

T

While I don’t have a specific meal to recommend I like to take advantage of canned or premade food that can be easily and quickly thrown together to create or enhance a salad or be heated up quickly as a side dish.

I aim for our Chol Hamoed dinners to be more significant and special than during the year, so I do my best to have a nicer protein component ready to be cooked—marinated chicken, ground beef already seasoned and shaped into hamburger patties, oven-ready salmon, etc. Also, the grill pan is a great option for faster cooking that’s helpful to our health.

Leah Wolofsky, RDN

T

These banana pancakes are a great hit for a quick and easy breakfast.

W

Pesach brings us back to basics; the simpler and more unprocessed a meal is, the more likely it will be minhag-approved and good for us. There aren’t too many options on Pesach, but simple baked recipes are relatively low prep compared to fried foods (which are laborintensive with a lot of time standing over the stove).

Baked chicken and roasted potatoes, for example, takes minutes to prepare, and then it’s just a matter of throwing it in the oven, leaving us free to do other tasks while it bakes. Same for baked fish (instead of fried fish). I like to switch up the sides, such as rutabagas fries, different roasted squash varieties, and even beet or sweet potato dishes.

While preparing a salad is time-consuming, it can be done in advance. The same is true for cutting up fruit.

C

Shani Taub, CDC

Cover tightly and bake on 400°F for about 1.5 hours.

Uncover for another 30 minutes.

Tanya Rosen, MS, CPT

Gila Glassberg, RDN, Intuitive Eating Counselor

T

Hands down a big tin of chicken and potatoes with olive oil and lots of spices, including salt, pepper, paprika, garlic powder, onion powder, and chili powder. I sometimes drizzle honey on top and add dried parsley for color.

For an easy dinner, I serve grilled baby chicken with frozen vegetables.

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O

I’m a very casual home cook. For Chol Hamoed Pesach, I like to enjoy simple meals with friends and family. I try to make things that can carry over easily to another meal, so these baked chicken strips are wonderful. They can be enjoyed at any temperature. Leftovers are great over a salad or served with roasted veggies and quinoa (if you use quinoa on Pesach).

Here’s a recipe for Oven-Baked Chicken Fingers with Orange Dipping Sauce, shared by Shoshana Isaacson, also known as The Out of Town Cook.

Ingredients: For Chicken 1 lb. boneless chicken breasts, cut into long strips about ½-inch wide 1–2 eggs, beaten Matzah meal (for those who eat gebrokts) or ground nuts Salt and pepper, to taste Oil spray For Dipping Sauce (optional): ½ cup orange jam ½ cup ketchup or BBQ sauce Instructions: Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease baking sheet with oil spray or spread a light coating of oil across the surface.

Dip each chicken strip into beaten eggs to coat, then dredge each strip in matzah meal or nuts.

Place strips onto prepared baking sheet and spray generously with oil spray.

Place baking sheet into preheated oven and bake for about 10 minutes, then turn strips over and respray with oil.

While strips are baking, prepare dipping sauce (optional). Mix jam and ketchup/BBQ sauce together until well combined.

Continue baking until chicken strips are golden brown and crispy.

Serve strips with dipping sauce.

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Bashy Halberstam, INHC

Yaffi Lvova, RDN

MY TABLE

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Since my viewpoint on health is fourdimensional, encompassing physical, emotional, spiritual and vibrational/energetic health, my answer to this question isn't clear-cut. I sometimes choose to nurture physical health, sometimes emotional, sometimes both etc.

When it comes to Pesach and Yom Tov, I focus on tradition-what my family likes and what will truly bring us joy and meet our needs. From that space, I would choose to upgrade ingredients while sticking to what my family likes and our family's mesorah.

One of our favorites is chicken-vegetable burgers, which can be enjoyed warm or cold. For an easy supper waiting for us when we get home, I would typically cook chicken, potatoes and vegetables in the crockpot. (I prefer using Yukon Gold Potatoes for this since they're non-GMO.) I also try stocking soups in the freezer, taking them out in the morning, and reheating them when we get home.

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RANDOM

Age: 31 Location: Brooklyn, New York

Questions

Occupation: Wig stylist/makeup artist

for

Minka G.

My favorite exercise

A good salad with something spicy to give it that kick. Another one is smoked mozzarella, an easy grab ’n go protein.

One misconception I used

The biweekly kangoo class at my local gym. I love the music and movement style. It lifts my mood and gets my adrenaline rolling.

Plus, working out as a group is definitely more fun and motivating.

to have about health

That leading a healthy lifestyle is only for those who want to lose weight. Now that I’ve jumped on the bandwagon, I’ve noticed myself feeling much stronger, my mood is more positive (best gift for my husband and kids!), plus it’s the most effective skin treatment! My skin is smooth and glowing when I eat clean and hydrate adequately.

One interesting thing I’ve learned about health The importance of listening to your body. Pushing yourself isn’t always the right thing.

Healthy supper in a pinch

One food I avoid at all costs Chocolate The sugar and other ingredients are so addictive; once I abstain for just a few days, the craving disappears.

Baked chicken cutlets with flavorful spices and a fresh salad.

Stock your pantry and fridge with healthy foods for those hungry moments so you have easy access to healthy choices. Also, make sure to hydrate sufficiently, otherwise you’ll always feel hungry. Oh, and avoid walking past bakeries. The point of the aroma is to get you!

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To answer these questions for an upcoming issue, please write to info@wellspringmagazine.com, subject title “Random.”

My favorite health food

Family: 4 kids

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