Wellspring Issue #77 by The Wellspring

Summertime Orbs How to find a watermelon that's ripe, sweet, and juicy JUNE 2022 // SIVAN 5782 // ISSUE 77

THE HEALTH MAGAZINE FOR THE JEWISH FAMILY

Wellspring Community

Libby in the Lab Is Bowen therapy the magic treatment it’s made out to be?

Operation Stop the Sweat

A Guide for GERD

Torah Wellspring

Laura Shammah’s advice on helpful lifestyle changes

When we’re feeling deprived, maintaining our commitment becomes arduous

Inner Parenting

I don’t approve of my child’s choice of entertainment

Culinary Toolbox

Enjoy these “fried” shawarma wings guilt-free, thanks to the air fryer

Stock Your Summer Freezer

Up and Running Get your energy fill with these power drinks packed with fuel and flavor

All Fun and Play Gelly Asovski teaches mothers how to incorporate games into their parenting for enhanced relationships

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6 top nutritious picks

Can You Just Finish That Piece of Chicken? How to bring an end to the food wars at the dinner table—and enjoy your meals in peace

Dietitians Debate

Is healthy food pricier?

Fun in the Sun

Make your own natural bubbles and play dough— and save some bucks

Fitbits: Are they worth the hype?

er v o d on B key Tur

E K OW N

KEY

Heart.Works

COPY & RESEARCH

Editor In Chief Shiffy Friedman Deputy Editor Libby Silberman Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Bashy Halberstam, INHC Shaindy Oberlander, INHC Shira Savit, MA, MHC, CHC Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC

Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC Esther Fried, PFC Child Development Advisory Board Friedy Singer, OTR/L Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L Coordinating Editor Liba Solomon, CNWC Feature Editors Rochel Gordon • Rikki Samson

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The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.

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EDITOR'S NOTE

A Different Kind of Ending

ne of the perks of working as the editor of this publication is the incredible opportunity it affords me to engage with a team of really insightful, wise individuals. Be it the writers, editors, designers, and everyone else involved in the production process, I learn so much from our constant give-and-take, especially as we analyze and sometimes agonize over various themes, articles, and even specific word choices. Very often, in addition to the comments within the article, an editor will return a document to me with overall feedback on the piece. This month, when our dedicated copyeditor Meira Lawrence sent me the edited version of the final installment of Compass, she wrote something beautiful and moving. “At first, I was disappointed that the last chapter began with a ‘heavy heart.’ It seemed too depressing. But then I was blown away by the ending. It’s so, so real—not just happily ever after, and the message applies to all parents encountering parenting challenges— that we have to go with His plan, even though we'd have written it rosier if it were up to us. I think so many parents of children with autism and parents in general will get tremendous chizzuk from that message, and will feel very validated.” Of course, we all wish for a “happily ever after” ending to every circumstance we encounter. In this month’s Medical Saga, the parents of Chaim are blessed to experience that. But for Eli and Dina Lieber of Compass, whose journey we’ve followed for almost a year now, that kind of rosy conclusion hasn’t yet happened. It’s they who inspire us so much, teaching us that in their current

circumstances, they can still find joy, they can still pull themselves together and grow closer to Hashem and each other in the way He destined for them. For them, in their own way, it is a “happily ever after” ending.

rom the many interviewees I’ve been in touch with over the years while working on various pieces for the magazine, I’ve gotten so much chizzuk from those whose story didn’t end the way they’d envisioned it would. What they taught me most of all was that although they wished to reach a point of full recovery, they instead realized over time that they were gifted with a recovery of a different sort—of coming to a place of acceptance, which enabled them to experience joy despite their circumstances. From a technical perspective, they still appear to be lacking, but from a spiritual standpoint, they feel so full, so blessed. Happiness, it seems, can be counted in different currencies. Although spiritual joy is what truly fills us, tending to our needs as human beings is an important prerequisite to experiencing that happiness. As this issue’s magnificent Torah Wellspring explores, even seemingly physical pursuits like taking a vacation can actually be vital to our spiritual development. As the school year winds down and we head into vacation season, many of us will be easing into a more relaxed, slow-paced mode. It’s a break each of us deserves that’s healthy for the body, mind, and spirit. Wishing a “happily ever after” summer for all of you,

n a m d e i r F Shiffy

WELL- PUT “Our homes are the last line of defense in the increasingly chaotic world we live in these days.”

Gelly Asovski, Cup of Tea WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5782

CONTENTS

JUNE 2022 SIVAN 5782 ISSUE 77 Our next issue will appear on Wednesday, u J ly 13 th iy"H.

WELL INFORMED 10

Springboard

Spiritual Eating

Torah Wellspring

Health Updates

LIVING WELL 36

THE FOOD FIGHT— AN END IN SIGHT Cover Feature By Libby Kasten Raising a child takes a village— and lots and lots of food wars. Or perhaps it doesn’t have to be that way? Here, feeding specialists and nutritionists offer guidance on how to help our kids feel satiated, and happy.

FYI

40 Community 42

Debate

Fitness

Sample

Cup of Tea

Medical Saga

Compass

DIY

WELLBEING 90 Emotional Eating

FAREWELL

SEASONED 8

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

131 Random

94 NOT CHILD’S PLAY Inner Parenting By Rabbi Ezra Friedman With summer approaching, our children will be having more free time on their hands to pursue various forms of entertainment. The gamut of activities is wide, and how we react to our children’s choices plays a significant role in our parent-child relationship, as well as in their emotional development. The response we offer right now impacts not only the present, but also the far-off future.

A GUIDE FOR GERD Ask the Nutritionist By Laura Shammah, MS, RDN My mother has been dealing with silent GERD for quite some time. She’s been to a gastroenterologist and was told to limit certain foods in her diet. I also experience frequent heartburn and am wondering if those same restrictions would be of help to me.

109

THE AIR FRYER Culinary Toolbox By Charnie Kohn The air fryer works by circulating hot air inside the gadget. Thus, one tablespoon of oil in an air fryer substitutes for multiple cups of oil in a deep fryer, so your food can have all the crispiness sans the grease.

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5782

SPRINGBOARD

On Acid Reflux, Heated Workouts, and More

I Still Hear Those Cries Issue #75: Quick Question

Thank you for creating such a fantastic magazine that gives us busy mothers an opportunity to unwind while reading helpful and healthful information. Every month I think you’ve already covered everything and wonder if you have any content left to create a new magazine. And then, you surprise me again and again with another informative issue. Thank you! I’d like to offer a response to a question a reader submitted regarding her two-month-old who 10

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

cries all day and night. The mother mentioned that her baby is taking acid reflux medicine, and the responder took that line and went with practical advice. I would like to offer another response. To this mother I’d like to say, I know exactly how you feel! My baby, who is now 11 years old, was the same way, and I can still hear those blasting cries! It was so challenging, and I try not to go back there in my mind because of the stress. I just want you to know that the helplessness and frustration you’re feeling are completely normal. On some days you might feel unproductive, as the only thing you’ve been doing all day

is hold a screaming baby. I remember that I had to keep rocking my son back and forth over the saddle separating the kitchen and dining room because that was the only way the crying would stop. (Oh, what we do for our children!) My practical advice to you is to get as much help as possible for yourself. Arrange for a chessed girl to give you a break from holding him, or for housekeeping help. Have family members come over and give you a break. It’s so important for you to take breaks from having to tend to the constant crying. Once I returned to work, there were days I left the baby for longer hours at the babysitter so I could

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Quick Question

SPRINGBOARD

Question: What might be a reason why my medication isn’t working for me? Thank you, Toby M.

Answer: I'm not familiar with the particular details of your medication and your health, but here's a general response to your question. Hashem gives us our health, and He also gives medications the ability to help us heal. Yet, a person may inadvertently be blocking the healing for many reasons, including inadequate nutrition, dehydration, undiagnosed allergies to certain foods, and vitamin deficiencies. When this is the case, instead of utilizing the medication to help the person heal from the specific condition they are trying to treat, the body ends up expending energy healing these other areas. Consult with a nutritionist to help you find the right supplements and diet that will complement your prescription medication, enabling you to heal quickly and feel better soon. Take care and have a healthy summer, Take care, Miriam Schweid, health consultant and kinesiologist

prepare dinner or run an errand. Do whatever you can to make life more manageable for yourself, so you’ll be able to better deal with the stresses of a crying baby.

How Does Abstaining from Foods Impact Reflux?

magazine. I read with interest the question regarding the two-monthold baby with reflux, as well as Miriam Schweid’s response. I myself was diagnosed by an ENT with LPR, also known as silent reflux. My only symptom is hoarseness, which is very bothersome, causing me to strain my voice and be unable to project it. I was told by several natural health experts, including a kinesiologist and an herbalist, that foods are only a trigger, not a cause. Therefore, unless one is aware that a certain substance is exacerbating the reflux, it’s neither necessary nor recommended to abstain from them.

Thank you for your informative, engaging, and thought-provoking

It would be so helpful to me if you could pass on my query to Miriam and ask her to please clarify what she wrote about abstaining from specific

From a mother who knows how you feel, S. P.

Issue #75: Quick Question

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

foods, such as nuts. How do nuts affect reflux? Is decaffeinated coffee also a problem? Mango doesn’t seem to be a trigger, although oranges do. Can she explain more about what the foods do to the esophageal lining and vocal cords (larynx)? I know this is an issue that many adults deal with and would appreciate gaining clarity on the topic. Thank you so much and lots of hatzlachah! A tremendous yasher koach, K.G. Health kinesiologist Miriam Schweid responds: Your nutritionist may have advised

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The Doctor Is In

SPRINGBOARD

Question: My seven-year-old nephew just spent ten days in the hospital after his appendix burst. By the time he got to the hospital, my sister-in-law was told it was too late to do surgery because it had already ruptured. Is there anything we can do to prevent kids from getting appendicitis in the first place, or at least anything to watch out for to prevent it from being caught so late?

Answer: Refuah sheleimah to your nephew! Perforated appendicitis (when the inflammation of the appendix has gotten so bad, the appendix actually bursts and leaks infected fluid around the rest of organs) occurs more frequently than most people realize. In fact, close to half the time, when children are brought to the hospital and found to have appendicitis, the appendix has already burst. This occurs mostly in younger children, since they are not as aware of what is going on in their bodies, and they may not know the pain is something significant until their appendix has already ruptured. Once it has burst, the surgeon often has to wait six to eight weeks until removing the appendix. Infected fluid causes inflammation, and operating during ongoing infection can be dangerous. This means that recovery tends to be slow, and your nephew may be under the weather for a few weeks, but be’ezras Hashem, he will be fine. What to watch out for in your kids: Pain due to appendicitis often starts near the belly button, and

over the course of the next 12–24 hours, it starts moving toward the right lower part of the abdomen. Other symptoms in both children and adults include loss of appetite, nausea or vomiting, and lethargy, so a younger kid won’t want to move around much due to the pain. Sometimes kids (and adults!) complain of burning with urination or diarrhea. If anyone develops that cluster of symptoms, the safest thing to do is go to your local urgent care or ER for an evaluation. In terms of prevention, there is not much that can be done. Worldwide, appendicitis is the most common cause of sudden abdominal pain requiring surgery. Nearly 10 percent of people develop appendicitis at some point in their life. The safest and most effective way to treat appendicitis is surgically, via appendix removal. There are no cleanses or natural or home remedies to treat appendicitis, and attempting such therapies can be dangerous and even fatal.

Shevie Kassai, MD General Surgeon JOWMA, Preventative Health Committee

you not to go off certain foods. However, my experience with many reflux sufferers is that by following a diet low in acidic foods and avoiding fried foods, citrus, chocolate, and coffee, their symptoms eased or went away altogether. It is true that we can’t always know the exact cause of an illness or condition that people suffer from, but it is worthwhile trying to identify which foods trigger a specific person. 14

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

I know some people who find great relief from ginger and ginger ale— while others who tried them suffered hours of heartburn. Explaining what the foods do to the esophageal lining is difficult as there is much variation between individuals; even a doctor who specializes in imaging tests may not be able to give you an accurate answer. A person’s acid level varies at different times, so test results will vary as well.

Those who have been advised by their nutritionists to juice and/or ferment need to first inquire if doing so may cause them to have reflux. Even if a cup of juice has never caused them discomfort, the greater quantity of fruits used when juicing means it could act as a trigger for reflux. I am not aware of a difference between coffees. The most common foods you should abstain from are

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SPRINGBOARD

fried and spicy foods, including dips and sauces. I hope this information is helpful to you.

In Defense of Heated Workouts Issue #76: Fitness

In her article regarding heated fitness cabins, Chaya Tziry Retter wrote that “any doctor will tell you that toxins aren’t just bouncing around in your colons, waiting to be eliminated through juice cleanses or sauna therapy.” I am not sure which doctors she is referring to, as the average doctor does not have the faintest clue about detoxification or health. Studies, however, do show that sweating, and especially through sauna therapy, is quite capable of removing toxins, and is probably one of the safest ways to do it. For example, here is what Dr. Steven Masley, MD, says about sweating: “Sweat contains a higher concentration of chemicals than blood, so sweating helps pump those heavy metals out of the body. Arsenic concentrations in sweat were 1.5–3.0 times greater than are found in blood plasma. Cadmium concentrations were four-fold higher in sweat than in urine, and 10-fold higher than in blood. In people with 16

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

low lead levels, lead levels in blood and sweat were similar, yet in people with elevated lead levels (workers in a lead battery factory), lead levels in sweat were from 4–10 times greater than the blood. Mercury sweat concentrations vary from person to person, but a study showed that the average level in sweat was 0.86 while it was 0.61 in blood and 0.65 in urine, about 30% higher. A small study in mercury-exposed workers showed that in people with high mercury blood levels, levels in sweat were at least 10 times higher than in people with normal mercury levels.” The following are the results from a study performed in Canada: “The results of this study suggest that: (i) Sweat testing may be an additional tool for BPA bio-monitoring; and (ii) Induced sweating appears to be a clinically useful tool to facilitate the release of BPA through the skin in order to eliminate this toxicant from the human body.” Here is a conclusion from another study: “Induced sweating appears to be a potential method for elimination of many toxic elements from the human body.” Yet another study concludes, “the available evidence suggests that physicians could consider recommending sweating as tolerated via exercise (preferred) and/or use of a sauna as a low-risk, potentially beneficial treatment for individuals who may be experiencing effects of toxic elements, or for individuals

with regular exposure to or accretion of toxicants.” Sauna therapy has even been proven to be useful for people with mold exposure and mycotoxins. Also, some toxicants, such as certain heavy metals, appear to come out in higher concentrations in sweat than via other excretion pathways such as urine or feces (M.E. Sears, K.J. Kerr, R.I.Bray, “Arsenic, Cadmium, Lead, and Mercury in Sweat: A systematic review,” Journal of Environmental and Public Health). Y. Vegh Chaya Tziry Retter, CPT, responds: Dear Reader, I appreciate your well-researched response to the quote I mentioned. My article was written to outline some of the basic premises and promises of heated/sweat-induced workouts and the endless benefits they tempt people with, and to further examine the validity of said claims. While there may be clinical trials, peer-reviewed journals and other notable sources researching and outlining the effects of (saunainduced) sweating for further elimination of toxins, the nature of scientific study is that there will always be voices on both sides of the scientific spectrum. While sweat provides a minute percentage of toxin elimination (many sources cite sweat

As a side note, I would like to mention that our hardworking doctors are generally skilled and devoted healthcare workers who are knowledgeable in their fields and overall health. Let’s appreciate them.

Public Service Announcement Finally, a Good Night For years, my kids had a hard time falling asleep at night. I tried every trick in the book, including melatonin. I’d like to share what helped my family (including myself). I removed all electric appliances from the room, including the extra freezer that had been in there. I gave the kids a natural supplement for stress (Zahler’s StressMaster for the teens and vitamin B liquid drops for the younger set). I also gave them a homeopathic remedy called SoundSleep. My kids are behaving so much better now that they’re having a peaceful night’s sleep. Bracha Gittel P.

Get in touch! Wellspring invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@wellspringmagazine.com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.

Any health information, advice, or suggestions published here are the opinion of the letter writer and are not independently investigated, endorsed, or validated by Wellspring. Always seek the advice of a qualified health professional or medical practitioner regarding any medical advice, condition, or treatment.

as 99 percent water and 1 percent other components, including toxins), the clinical, conventional approach to detoxification of regularly inhaled, ingested, or consumed toxins relies primarily on the body’s liver, kidney, colon, and excretory functions to eliminate them. These organs are in charge of filtering the blood and removing harmful products through excretion. Any discrepancies in this elimination process will lead doctors, practitioners, hepatologists, nephrologists, gastroenterologists, and the like to further investigate relevant issues in the kidney, liver, and colon. There may be valid alternative routes that still need to be further explored, but as of now I would still discourage those wishing to “detoxify” to head for the heated workouts as their ultimate path to better health.

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5782

SPRINGBOARD

Varicose Veins Myths

A N D W HY YOU DON ’T H AVE TO ACCEP T T HE PA I N , I TCH I N ES S , SWELLI N G, AN D B ULG I N G AS A N ORMAL PART OF LI F E

They’re a cosmetic problem, not medical. There’s no real reason to treat them and, even if I want to, my insurance won’t cover it. Varicose veins are not as simple as itching, cramping, and hyperpigmentation. “People think, ‘it’s just a little bit of cramping so I can live with it,’ but left untreated, varicose veins can lead to ulcers and blood clots. The older someone gets, the greater the medical risks,” says Dr. Eliezer Halpert, Medical Director of MVP Care. He points out that two of the more common changes that would occur, like redness in the skin and darkening of the skin toward the ankles, are related to an underlying condition. They are not only a cosmetic concern. “Varicose veins are a real condition that’s easily treated, and because they’re a medical condition, they are absolutely covered by insurance.”

They only apply to women. “Pregnancy is a huge risk factor for varicose veins, so women are generally at higher risk. That being said, I’ve treated truck drivers who sit behind the wheel all day and rabbanim who sit and learn. Anyone who sits or stands for long periods of time, and generally leads a sedentary lifestyle can develop varicose veins,” says Dr. Halpert. If any of the symptoms are familiar to you, it’s worth scheduling an assessment with a vascular clinician.

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

“All of the symptoms can be easily addressed and treated," Dr. Halpert says. “None of the pain, cramping, itchiness, or discoloration is normal.”

Among the common symptoms of varicose veins — which no woman should have to accept — are the following:

If I have children, I just have to accept that varicose veins are part of life. I’ll always deal with them.

Pain and cramping in your legs, especially associated with sitting or standing

Itchiness for 20-30 minutes after taking off stockings at the end of the day

Restless legs at night because you can’t find a comfortable position

Visible swelling, bulging veins or darkening (hyperpigmentation) in your skin

“People don’t understand that, first of all, varicose veins are an actual problem that shouldn’t just be accepted, and secondly, they’re fairly easy to treat. If you have any of the symptoms, get evaluated. No one needs to live with the varicose veins for the rest of their lives.”

“Twenty years ago, this may have been true — but it’s not anymore,” says Dr. Halpert. Back then, the only treatment for varicose veins was surgical vein stripping. During the painful conventional surgery, doctors made incisions and manually removed the varicose veins, which forced the blood back to its normal pathway.

Varicose vein treatment went from an invasive, ineffective surgery to something that’s simple and painless to treat. “The old treatments were scary and jarring, but we’ve progressed to the point where treating varicose veins is easy, safe, and non-invasive.” MVP Care’s skilled vascular clinicians offer the non-invasive treatment at the clinic. The actual injection takes less than a minute. Patients walk out of the treatment center right away and begin to see the veins recede in a matter of days.

“It was a hard recovery and, regardless, the surgery didn’t work very well. Much has changed regarding this. Around three years ago, a new treatment came onto the market that involved only simple injections.

Treatment is painful and, anyway, it doesn’t really work.

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WELLBEING FEATURE

MEET T H E VAS CU LAR CLI N I CI AN S AT MVP CARE

with Dr. Eliezer Halpert MED ICA L D IRECTO R O F MVP MED ICA L G RO UP A ND UT ERINE F IB RO ID EXP ERT

Q Can you tell us about

your education, training and experience?

varicose veins?

After graduating from Brooklyn College, I moved to Israel and completed my medical schooling at Tel Aviv University Sackler School of Medicine. From there I continued with my Internship in Surgery at Downstate, followed by my Vascular and Interventional Radiology training at Beth Israel Hospital and Yale University Saint Raphael Hospital. Much of my interest and specialty work with minimally invasive out-patient therapeutic treatments developed while serving as a young attending at Beth Israel Medical Center in NYC.

Q How does your

work specifically relate to the frum community?

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

Varicose veins are a symptom of venous insufficiency. Veins and arteries help the blood circulate around the body. Venous Insufficiency is a process that presents with increased venous pressure and pooling of the blood leading to swelling and dilation of the vein. People often see varicose veins as just a cosmetic issue and are surprised when I ask: “Do your legs feel heavier at the end of the day?” or “Do you wake up with cramping sensations in your calves?” Once I explain that their symptom is part of a bigger picture they are able to understand their condition better. At MVP Care we focus on patient education to make sure that you understand your condition, the treatment options available, and how each will help.

The common factors across all communities are the genetic predisposition for developing varicose veins and symptoms of venous insufficiency. However, the lifestyle in our community with women having multiple pregnancies and standing or sitting for extended periods of time increase the likelihood of developing the chronic venous changes.

Q From all your years in patient care, is

Q What is involved in the

there a specific story that sticks out?

treatment and recovery?

How about one from this morning? A man and his wife came in to discuss his swollen and painful legs. During the course of the discussion it became obvious to his Rebbetzin that she has been suffering with symptoms of venous insufficiency for years. She then described how she’s always felt that it was a normal process for anyone with her lifestyle. That is, one that involves chasing several kids around the house while maintaining the home. Basically, she’s on her feet a lot and they bother her greatly toward the end of the day.

Q How will a patient's life look

different post treatment?

This scenario plays out at least once a week and ends with both husband and wife scheduling their treatments together.

Q Is there anything you can do

to prevent varicose veins?

Wearing compression stockings can definitely make a difference. We advise our patients to start supporting their legs with compression stockings even before they start to swell or have visible varicose veins. This is because veins, like balloons, will remain stretched out after being blown up enough times.

When we are able to treat the underlying vein problems and not simply addressing the active symptoms, patients will find they are more functional. This includes standing and being more active throughout the day. Often reporting relief from cramping leg pain that would otherwise wake them at night.

Q If there’s one thing you

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There is no required downtime and no recovery aside from minimal soreness which can be managed with Motrin or Advil. Many patients schedule their procedures before their work day starts and or during their lunch break.

There was a time where doctors would recommend for women to wait until they are done having children, but that is not the approach anymore. The newer methods of treatment are non-surgical and low risk. Therefore, taking care of it any time, before or after pregnancy, is a safe option.

Varicose veins are only one part of an underlying condition, venous insufficiency, which comes with several other common symptoms. Treating the root cause of the problem aims to improve the quality of life for many years to come, while also addressing the noticeable appearance of varicose veins.

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WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5782

SPIRITUAL EATING By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

The Craze of Cravings The mahn from Shamayim wasn’t enough. They wanted meat! Elements among the Jewish People lodged complaints about the miraculous sustenance delivered to them every day, directly from Hashem.

“The rabble that was among them cultivated a strong craving… ‘Who will feed us meat? We remember the fish that we ate in Egypt free of charge, the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic. But now, our life is parched, there is nothing; we have nothing to anticipate but the mahn’” (Bamidbar 11:4–6). Nothing but the mahn? The very next series of verses extol its exquisite beauty, taste, and texture, as well as the ease with which it was collected. How could the Yidden possibly protest a gift like that? The answer is inherent in the irrationality of their criticism. They wanted to return to oppressive slavery and certain death in Mitzrayim for a “free” vegetable medley? There was already an abundance of meat to be found in the enormous flocks of cattle belonging to the tribes of Reuven and Gad. What more did they desire? “So Hashem will give you meat and you will eat. Not for one day shall you eat, nor two days, nor five days, nor ten days, nor twenty days. Until an entire month of days, until it comes out of your nose, and becomes nauseating to you, because you have rejected Hashem who

is in your midst…” (Bamidbar 11:18–20). Striving for excess means never being satisfied. “And Moshe said, ‘When, in the evening, Hashem gives you meat to eat and food (mahn) to satiety in the morning, as Hashem hears your complaints that you complain against Him…’” (Shemos 16:8). Commenting on this verse, Rashi notes that the nation’s request for meat was inappropriate and would not bring them satisfaction. In fact, it would eventually lead to their death in a place that Hashem called “kivros hatavah.” Craving more than they needed inhibited their ability to enjoy and feel satisfied with their G-d-given allotment, precluding their appreciation for what they already had. When we allow ourselves to be consumed by a craving, we are prone to losing our rational perspective. We can convince ourselves that wrong is right and that black is white. If we give the yetzer hara free reign to set our standards and determine our priorities, we skew our spiritual bearing for the sake of partaking in a fleeting physical pleasure—which often turns out to be more bitter than sweet.

Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS, is the founder and director of Soveya and the author of the best-selling book Enough Is Enough—How the Soveya Solution Is Revolutionizing the Diet and Weight-Loss World, available on Amazon and at Barnes & Nobles and Judaica Plaza in Lakewood. He has worked with thousands of clients around the world and has maintained a 130-pound weight loss for the last 19 years. For more information about Soveya’s programs call 732-578-8800, email info@soveya.com, or visit www. soveya.com.

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WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5782

TORAH WELLSPRING By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

Choose Life When we understand that it’s a trade-off, giving up physical pleasures doesn’t leave us feeling deprived

Now that many in klal Yisrael are preparing to take a break for the summer, it’s kedai to take note of its potential merits. For a Yid, even a vacation is not a non-spiritual matter.

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

Taking the time to recharge is not only of benefit to our physical health, but as the Rambam teaches in Hilchos Deios (4:1), it’s of great importance to our spiritual wellbeing as well. He explains that one cannot concern himself with matters of the soul without first tending to the needs of his body. It’s when the guf stops nagging that we can start focusing on our neshamah. And so, it is “midarkei Hashem Yisbarach” to provide the guf with what it needs to function optimally. The Peleh Yoetz, among other sefarim,

advises us to listen to our body, to heed its messages, in order to be the best Yid we can be. When we feel it’s time to slow down, to take it easy, we only stand to gain by doing so. When we take a vacation that enables us to recharge in order to become more dedicated to our avodas Hashem, the actual vacation becomes a part of that avodah.

choosing when to stop engaging in humanly deeds. If I eat too little, I can’t survive, but eating too much is detrimental, as well. Knowing when to stop eating is where my bechirah lies. The same is true for other human needs as well, such as sleep. It’s all about knowing where to place the boundary, when to say, “Enough.” That’s our koach of bechirah.

The moment we start to pay attention to our guf, we automatically stand a greater chance at getting carried away by the temptations of the physical world. As a simple example, would we not be required to eat in order to fuel our physical body, we wouldn’t face nisyonos regarding kashrus, berachos, etc. Once we start amassing or looking out for assets, we’re at risk of transgressing lo sachmod and other prohibitions. The more entrenched we become in the world of the guf, the more at risk we are of transgressing various boundaries.

Nowadays, we live in a world that is filled with an abundance of pleasures. Whether that’s a blessing or not depends on how we deal with the nisyonos that arise for us as a result, on our ability to place the boundary with a steadfast conviction. How do we develop that inner strength in a world that feels so alluring?

Enough Still, Hakadosh Baruch Hu does not expect us—nor does He want us—to be malachim. He especially fashioned us in this way, as a composite of both body and soul, in order to fulfill our unique purpose in this world. As the Chazon Ish explains, the point of our bechirah as human beings is

The first step in doing that is understanding exactly what we find so dazzling about Olam Hazeh. Why is it that when we commit to distancing ourselves from getting entrenched in the pleasures of this world, do we keep finding ourselves back at square one, whether it’s with our eating, overworking, shopping, or technology use? The answer lies in how we feel toward this pursuit. If I feel that I’m depriving myself, I’m not doing it right. Hashkafically, depriving ourselves for the sake of Yiddishkeit is incorrect. As the sefarim teach us, there’s no such thing as having Olam Ha-

bah without having Olam Hazeh as well. When the Torah instructs us to choose what’s right, to place that boundary we discussed above, the phrase the Torah uses is “uvacharta bachaim,” choose life. If we’re feeling deprived, we’re not doing it right. Yes, we might be “giving up” on a certain pleasure, but we’re doing it with joy because we’re trading it in for a deeper, spiritual pleasure instead. The amount of pleasure we’re destined to have has already been predetermined by Hakadosh Baruch Hu, but we can choose from which well we want to draw it. Like a child who chooses not to eat at a kiddush because he prefers having his mother’s food at home instead, when we’re “giving up” as a choice, we don’t feel deprived at all. How Much Longer? Besides for being hashkafically incorrect, giving up something with a sense of deprivation simply doesn’t work in the long term. There’s a limit to how long one can deny himself of what he believes is his ticket to joy. If I feel that I’m losing out, I can try to hold back once, twice, even a third time, but at some point, I just won’t be able to resist any longer. The only way we can successfully abstain from or limit our entrenchment in the

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5782

TORAH WELLSPRING

pleasures of this world is to approach our commitment without feeling that we’re stepping into deprivation territory. How long can a person go without getting what he really wants? As Rav Avigdor Miller zt”l used to emphasize, man was created to enjoy this world. He was created for pleasure. When he realizes that no, he’s not giving up when he distances himself from Olam Hazeh, he’s only acquiring a greater level of pleasure, that’s when he can start truly moving away from it with no chains attached. He won’t be drawn back toward it again and again because he’s choosing a greater pleasure. A story is told of a young man, years ago, who grew up in poverty and, in a weak moment, impoverished and famished, he broke into the home of a wealthy widow whose husband had left her a sizable inheritance. Standing there at the safe and staring at the piles of bills, a thought struck him: How can I become a rich man right now if that’s not bashert for me? If I’m meant to strike it rich, he thought, it’ll come to me in a straight way. With that, he turned around and walked out of the house. He returned to yeshivah, feeling invigorated and empowered by his virtuous decision. From that day on, his davening and learning took on deeper meaning, and he climbed the ladder toward greatness. One day, the almanah approached the rosh yeshivah and asked to be shown the most devout student as a shidduch for her daughter. It was this bachur who would eventually inherit her wealth. As he had foreseen, the riches he was tempted to obtain years before now became rightfully his in a way that afforded him true pleasure. Trading This for That Not always do we feel or notice 26

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

As the Ramchal notes in his introduction to Mesilas Yesharim, it is the yetzer hara who makes us think that being dedicated to avodas Hashem is some heavy burden.

it immediately, but when we “give up” on a physical pleasure, we reap a much deeper, richer spiritual hana’ah instead. Keeping this in mind really lightens the heaviness of what we may perceive as an arduous struggle. For example, we might ask ourselves, “How can I be mevater on not saying this piece of lashon hara? It’s so hard!” But as soon as we realize that no, I’m really not giving up here; I’m essentially trading in this human, fleeting pleasure for something so much greater, the decision

becomes clear to us, and so much easier to execute. Whether it’s giving up on earning what seems like “easy money” that isn’t one hundred percent rightfully earned, choosing not to eat a questionable hashgachah or at certain venues, or any other seemingly restrictive choices that we make, knowing that we’re essentially choosing a much greater pleasure brings so much joy and lightness into our decision. It’s the yetzer hara who prefers that

we see all these choices as arduous. As the Ramchal notes in his introduction to Mesilas Yesharim, it is the yetzer hara who makes us think that being dedicated to avodas Hashem is some heavy burden. He thrives on showing us davka those “pious” Jews who have turned their Yiddishkeit into a sequence of severe, austere practices because he understands the outcome of this twisted thinking. He

knows that when we start viewing Yiddishkeit as a restrictive list of rules that suck the joy out of living, we won’t be able to handle the pressure for too long. In fact, an indicator of a true oved Hashem is someone who radiates joy, who lights up not only at the opportunity to do a mitzvah but who simply feels pleasure in living

in Hashem’s world. When we have this clarity, we realize that no, we’re not giving up at all. We’re simply engaging in a trade-off: “giving up” something so much pettier for something so much better, so much richer, so much more worthwhile. May we merit this clarity and be zocheh to truly and fully appreciate the beautiful, fulfilling life Hashem wants us to live in this world.

Rabbi Ezra Friedman welcomes questions and comments on this column. Please write to rabbiefriedman@wellspringmagazine.com.

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5782

UPDATES By Esther Retek

Not Only in the Classroom How exposure can build a foundation for learning The school year might be coming to an end, but learning can still be an ongoing process. While most of us rely on the school system to teach our children, new research has found that we can aid our children in their learning through exposure. The study, published in Psychological Science, shows that long before kids enter a classroom, they learn through exposure—simply seeing, hearing, and experiencing serve as a foundation to their learning. The study included five different experiments with 438 participants, and each produced similar results. The participants first took part in the “exposure phase.” This phase allowed them to play simple computer games while seeing colorful images of unfamiliar creatures passing by. The game did not provide any information about these creatures. Later in the experiment, the participants went through “explicit learning,” a process in which they were taught what those creatures are. The researchers then measured to see how fast the participants caught on to the new information. The results? “We found that learning was substantially faster for those who were exposed to the creatures earlier on than it was in the control group participants,” says Layla Unger, the study author. In another experiment in the study, the simple computer 28

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

game participants played in the exposure phase involved hearing sounds while seeing the images of the creatures. Participants simply hit a key whenever the same sound was played two times in a row. Again, the game offered no information on the creatures. “The images were randomly attached to the sounds, so they could not help participants learn the sounds,” says Vladimir Sloutsky, study co-author. Once again, those who were exposed to the images of the creatures learned the characteristics of these creatures faster than those who didn’t. “It was pure exposure to the creatures that was helping them learn faster later on,” Sloutsky explains. “We found that simply being exposed to them makes an impression in our mind and leads us to be ready to learn about them later.” With summer vacation approaching, keep this new information in mind. The summer season is an opportune time to expose children to aspects of nature, skills, cultures, etc. You may want to plan a hike, a trip to the zoo or gardens, visit the ocean, and expose your child to some fascinating parts of nature. These early experiences will provide your kids with educational background and serve as a foundation for their formal education.

Lose weight this summer!

The proof is in the pounds. I’ve been trying to lose weight all winter long with little success. Being that I’m already over 40 all the naysayers jumped in to tell me that I should give up and just make peace with the extra pounds that were sticking to me so stubbornly. Then I heard about Melta and the extra strains of probiotics they add to their supplement. Since I was already watching my diet, I figured it can’t hurt. B’H it was the push I needed. Instead of being stuck on a plateau, I started losing again. Yes, even at 43. Mrs. Fischer, 43 Boro Park

CAPSULES I sit on a chair all day. I’m the CEO of a busy company and don’t have a moment for exercise or for planning healthy meals. My lunch consists of whatever’s available at hand and that often means vending machine danishes and corporate lunches. It’s not like I eat much, it’s just that I’m eating the wrong things at the wrong time. I saw an ad for Melta and figured I’d try it. Now that I was spending mney on a supplement, I wasn’t going to botch the effects with danishes and pastries. It got me in the frame of mind to be more conscious of my food choices. That combination made me shed those pounds I’d been carrying around for years.

This is not the typical review, but I’m writing it anyway. You see, I didn’t take Melta and I didn’t lose weight. BUT I have a close friend that did, and she’s literally shedding those pounds faster than she imagined possible! And since the jealousy has kicked in heavily, I already packed my supply of Melta for the country. Call it peer pressure, call it plain old envy, but seeing is believing and I want it too!

Joseph Roth, 36 Monroe

R. B. Jacobowitz, 22 Williamsbrurg

I never took a vitamin in my life. I’m not into supplements and I don’t believe in spending money on things that I’m not sure will help. But desperation makes you do things you never thought you would. When I found myself reaching for the Melta bottle in the Health Food store, I was surprised at myself. But 2 months later, I’m no longer a skeptic. I’m not saying that I can eat whatever I want, but I am saying it curbed my appetite in a way that I don’t HAVE to eat every goody I see. I’m 8 pounds down since my first Melta day. Mrs. Klagsbald, 37 Williamsburg

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UPDATES

Go for It More benefits to mother’s milk With mounting evidence indicating the benefits of breastfeeding, many women are working hard to provide their children with this gift. If you’re one of those, read on to learn some more benefits to motivate you ever further. Recently, two new studies have highlighted the benefits that breastfeeding offers and the importance of trying to breastfeed for as long as possible. In the first study, published in PLOS ONE, researchers at University of Oxford in England followed more than 7,800 infants born in the United Kingdom from 2000 through 2002 until they turned 14. Of these infants, 23 percent were breastfed for six months or longer, and about 34 percent weren’t breastfed at all. The kids took tests measuring verbal and spatial relations skills when they were 5, 7, 11, and 14. Not surprisingly, scores on tests were higher among kids who were breastfed for longer, even when researchers adjusted for other factors such as mom’s education level and socioeconomic status. This was necessary because in the past, researchers argued that they contributed to the difference in brainpower more than the breastfeeding did. “Breast milk contains polyunsaturated fatty acids and micronutrients, which aid brain development. It also contains microRNAs, which are pieces of genetic code in charge of programming our brains to develop and function correctly,” said study lead author Renee Pereyra-Elías. The study authors also point to the bonding element as a contributing factor. 30

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

The other study, cited in Annals of Allergy, Asthma and Immunology, shows that exclusive breastfeeding for a longer period can potentially decrease the odds of asthma. The study combined three groups to get a large number of subjects—more than 2,000 mother-child pairs. Interestingly, there was a strong correlation between breastfeeding for longer and lower incidence of asthma. Babies who were breastfed for 2–4 months had only a 64 percent likelihood of developing asthma as those who were breastfed less than 2 months; those breastfed for 5–6 months had a 61 percent likelihood, and those breastfed for more than 6 months had a 52 percent likelihood. The results of the study indicated that the longer a mother exclusively breastfed, the lower the relative odds of her child having asthma, or asthma-related outcomes. Further research showed that these results were not the same when the baby was fed anything other than breast milk, which once again proves how nutritious breast milk is. As the summer sets it, it’s common for mothers to want to offer their babies refreshing solids such as fruits, or more fluids such as water or cow’s milk. Is it necessary? C.N. Schreiber, breastfeeding advocate and author of Much More than Milk, claims that mother’s milk is so perfectly designed to serve a baby’s needs that there’s no need to offer any alternatives despite the weather. “If you feel your baby needs more fluid,” she advises, “just keep nursing as often as possible, which will build up your milk supply.”

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Well Spent

Summer Activities Of the many summer toys available, bubbles and play dough make for two popular ones—and getting them in quantities can be pricey too. All you need is a toddler who loves spilling soap, or a preschooler who enjoys clumping the colorful clay into a brown ball, and the supply keeps dwindling. Another nuisance of many store-bought bubbles is their irrevocable stains. Here are two natural tried-and-true recipes to save money, avoid stained clothing, and enjoy a fun activity with your kids.

Bubbles

Play Dough

¼ cup dishwashing soap

¾ cup warm water

10 drops food coloring

1 Tbsp flour

1 Tbsp vegetable oil

1 cup flour

½ cup water

3 Tbsp lemon juice

¼ cup salt

In a container, combine ingredients. Close tightly and shake well.

In a pot, mix wet ingredients. In a separate bowl, mix dry ingredients. Place pot on medium flame. When mixture is hot (but not boiling), gradually add dry ingredients. Mix until dough forms. Place dough on wax paper and allow to cool. You can store dough in an airtight container or plastic bag. It’s best kept in the refrigerator.

You can add about 1 teaspoon of sugar or corn syrup if the bubbles are not forming well, but that will make the bubbles—and those little hands—stickier.

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

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UPDATES Advertorial

You take those probiotics daily, but are they right for you? After more than five years of extensive research and trial, Reyuvenate probiotics, an innovative 100% kosher probiotic has just hit the market. With many years of personal experience, trial, and error behind the product - since its development was spurred by the founder’s search for a remedy for her own children’s eczema - this probiotic includes 25 billion live probiotics per servings. This is the optimal amount a human being should take daily to clean the gut and aid with digestive and immune health, thereby aiding in the healing of eczema, diarrhea, constipation, allergies, and excessive weight gain, among similar chronic issues. Also, probiotic produces b vitamins, including the all-important b-12. Probiotics with too many strains tend to compete against each other within the body, thus minimizing the positive effects on the person. Therefore, Reyuvenate probiotic is comprised of just two strains, which allows a person to get a larger percentage of each strain so you are able to absorb the probiotics way more and it will mutate what the body is lacking. Also, since a person cannot absorb more than 34

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20-25 billion CFUs at a time, this is the maximum amount the body can benefit from and it isn’t beneficial to include more than that per serving, as we won’t have the ability to feed and keep them alive. Its powder form ensures that the probiotics are absorbed while alive and reach the intestines while fully active. Additionally, the pleasant tasting powder can be used as a salad topping or conveniently sprinkled anywhere so your family will enjoy it as part of the daily diet. For the kosher consumer, this is a huge breakthrough, as most probiotics contain dairy and non-kosher components, although the label may legally state otherwise due to its low percentage containment. With a universally accepted hashgacha, you can now take your dose with zero concern regarding the presence of potentially worrisome ingredients. Reyuvante’s plant based, three-ingredient formula allows you to say no to added junk, no to non-kosher, no to digestive and auto-immune ailments, and start you day right by saying yes to optimal health and wellbeing

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ALTERNATIVE VIEW

BY FAIGY SCHONFELD

KIDNEY STONES PASSING A KIDNEY STONE — ACCORDING TO THOSE WHO’VE LIVED THROUGH IT — IS FAMOUSLY PAINFUL, EXCEEDING EVEN THE PAIN OF CHILDBIRTH IN SOME INSTANCES. MORE THAN HALF A MILLION PEOPLE IN THE US SEEK EMERGENCY TREATMENT FOR KIDNEY STONES ANNUALLY — USUALLY BECAUSE OF THE PAIN — BUT PHYSICIANS AREN'T ABLE TO DO MUCH ASIDE FROM PRESCRIBING PAINKILLERS. WHILE THE CAUSES BEHIND THOSE NASTY STONES ARE NOT PERFECTLY CLEAR, THANKFULLY THERE ARE SUGGESTIONS FOR WAYS TO AVOID THEM.

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

WHAT ARE THEY? Kidney stones are hard deposits made of salts, calcium, and other minerals that clump together inside the kidneys to form small pebble-like stones. They grow into larger masses that make their way through the urinary tract...and sometimes, they get stuck. Kidney stones commonly cause pain in the stomach or lower back, and range from mild tenderness and swelling to excruciating pain and urine back-up. What’s behind this mess? Well, you know I'm going to blame the diet. Many Americans live on high sodium, high-protein diets. Too much protein depletes the body's levels of citrate, a chemical in urine that prevents the formation of kidney stones. Additionally, eating lots of salty foods can increase calcium levels in urine — and most kidney stones are formed from calcium. Other common factors include drinking tap water, eating processed foods, processed meat, pasteurized dairy, table salt, and sugary foods. A family history of kidney disease can also play a role here.

STEP ONE: WATER If you’re going to do one thing, drink water. And plenty too, because pure, fluoride-free water is the best tool for maintaining your kidneys, keeping them clean of stones and other toxic buildup. Drinking water (at least half your body weight in ounces) both helps prevent kidney stones from forming, as well as gets rid of any small stones that may have already crystallized. Just by increasing your fluid intake, a recurrence of kidney stones can be cut by 50 percent. (Some recommend distilled water to prevent and flush kidney stones.) Especially during the hot summer months, insufficient fluid intake is the most common cause of kidney stones. And while you're upping your fluid intake, please don't turn to soda. Soda is one of the worst foods for kidney stones — it’s high in phosphoric acid, which greatly acidifies the body. Iced tea is also a nono, as it contains high levels of the chemical oxalate, which encourages the formation of kidney stones. If you want flavor, add freshly squeezed lemon juice to your water; lemons are very high in citrates, which inhibit the growth of kidney stones.

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5782

ALTERNATIVE VIEW

THE FOOD FACTOR HIGHLY ACIDIC DIETS TEND TO CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT THAT KIDNEY STONES FIND INVITING, SO THE FIRST STEP IS TO STAY AWAY FROM FOODS THAT HAVE AN ACIDIC EFFECT ON THE BODY.

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

It may not be fun to ditch the chips, but switching up your diet is always a good place to start. Highly acidic diets tend to create an environment that kidney stones find inviting, so the first step is to stay away from foods that have an acidic effect on the body. These include soft drinks, coffee, alcohol, products containing corn syrup, and most kinds of animal protein. Stick to a diet rich in phytonutrient-dense vegetables instead, with healthy fats (like coconut products, olive oil, avocado) and clean protein sources (wild-caught fish, grass-fed chicken, and eggs). You may want to play around with your spices; try anti-inflammatories such as turmeric, cinnamon, ginger, oregano, and garlic. Although many fruits and veggies promote an alkaline environment, others, while otherwise healthy, are more acidic. If you're prone to kidney stones, you’re best off avoiding rhubarb, spinach, beet greens, green tea, and chocolate. (I know, I'm sorry.) Some believe that it's important to eat foods that are naturally high in calcium (and have good calcium absorption rates), such as leafy greens, cruciferous vegetables, nuts and seeds, and (grassfed) milk and butter. This may sound strange considering what kidney stones are made of, but natural calcium is actually beneficial for preventing kidney stones. According to a recent study published in the Clinical Journal of the American Society of Nephrology, dietary calcium actually binds with calcium oxalate, the substance that makes up most kidney stones, and crystallizes and flushes it from the body before it has a chance to form into stones. Adding magnesium-rich foods to your diet is also a good idea! These include beans and lentils, bananas, broccoli, and avocados. (One of the first things hospital ERs give kidney stone sufferers is magnesium citrate, a natural mineral substance that counteracts the oxalate minerals in many foods.) Some recommend taking a high-quality magnesium citrate supplement, as well as a B-complex vitamin. Try adding freshly squeezed lemon juice or apple cider vinegar to your drinks throughout the day — this helps alkalize the body and basically blocks the formation of kidney stones, while dissolving any existing stones.

HOME REMEDIES Here's advice from Dr. Ed Group from his Natural Health and Organic Living Blog on how to eliminate kidney stones naturally. *At the first symptom of stone pain, mix two ounces olive oil with two ounces lemon juice. Drink, then follow with twelve ounces of pure water. After thirty minutes, squeeze half a lemon into twelve ounces pure water, add a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar, and drink. Repeat the lemon juice, water/vinegar recipe on the hour until symptoms improve. *Another recommendation is the watermelon diet. Consume large quantities of watermelon and nothing else for an entire day. Watermelon fasts help cleanse the kidneys and the rest of the system as well. (In general, watermelon is a great food for keeping kidney stones at bay.) *Hydrangea tincture is said to dissolve kidney stones in only hours. Some people actually grow it in their gardens! A tea can be made from the leaves; drinking three teaspoons three times a day is recommended. *Parsley helps flush out the kidneys and encourages an alkaline environment that is unfriendly to the stones. Boil (insect-checked) parsley leaves in water to create parsley tea. *Various herbal remedies have been used to prevent kidney stones and cleanse the kidneys. Goldenrod is one of those, and is so effective in helping dissolve kidney stones that in Germany (where herbal medicine has received more official acceptance than in the US) it’s part of the recommended course of treatment. Here’s a nice little concoction that combines several of these natural foods listed above.

You'll need: 9 oz organic lemons (approximately 3 lemons) 9 oz parsley root (cleaned and scraped) 9 oz raw organic honey 9 oz extra-virgin olive oil 1 cup pure maple syrup Cut lemons into chunks (the recipe calls for the skin on but that may be a kashrus issue) and blend. Cut the scraped parsley root into chunks and add to the blender. Add the honey, oil, and maple syrup and blend thoroughly. Take one tablespoon each morning on an empty stomach. Keep refrigerated in an airtight glass container. Our kidneys are responsible for filtering toxins and waste from the blood and regulating the body's fluid levels, while keeping blood minerals such as phosphorous, sodium, and potassium in balance. Plus, they actually filter all of the blood in your body every half hour! It’s worth keeping them in good shape, if you ask me. Now all of the above is good, but I have to add that stress and negative emotions are notorious when it comes to kidney stone issues. (So see if you can spend a week in the Alps. Alternatively, stretch your legs and keep reading for an extra fifteen minutes.) And of course, kidney stones don't have a mind of their own; their formation, as well as their dissolution, occurs because Someone is controlling it all. Knowing this is incredibly helpful in dealing with and managing the issue.

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WELLSPRING COMMUNITY

Stop the Sweat

In this space, we feature a health-related question or predicament submitted by a Wellspring reader. Fellow readers are invited to participate in the conversation by sharing their tried-and-true advice and suggestions. Join the community!

My 11-year-old daughter sweats profusely. She has been complaining about it and mentioned to me that she’s embarrassed that her clothing is always wet under her arms. She sweats all year round, but it gets worse in the summer, even when she isn’t active. Any ideas to help her feel more comfortable?

The antiperspirant from the brand Certain Dri has literally saved my teenage daughter. You apply it every night before going to bed, and it does wonders. We tried dozens of products unsuccessfully until we came across this one. Don’t waste your energies (and money) on anything else. Also, it’s very important to have an honest conversation with your daughter about the issue. Speak with her about her body and about being comfortable with it. Tell her that what’s happening is perfectly normal and that you’ll try whatever you can to make her feel as comfortable as possible. You want to make sure that her issue is not causing her to be less confident among her peers. - A Mother Who’s Been There 40

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I’m not sure if this would work in the summer, but you can always have her wear a thin cotton T-shirt underneath her clothing to hide any sweat forming underarms. There are many good ones available, and my daughters really like wearing them. Avoid getting her light-colored or tight-fitting clothing. Rather, have her wear more loose-fitting tops that won’t stick to the skin and reveal the sweat underarms. Also, look out for natural fabrics like cotton and wool instead of synthetics like polyester. Synthetic fabrics are like plastic, which induces sweat. - C.L. Hertz, Lakewood

- B. Gorelnik, Boro Park

Sweat Shield from Kleinert’s, which can be found on Amazon, has been literally life-changing for me. I cannot vouch for their health or safety, though. These shields are cloth wipes that are used to wipe the underarm. They are very strong and can last a week. They’re meant to reduce or actually eliminate underarm sweat. -S.B., Lakewood

For myself, I followed the advice of an alternative practitioner to “detox” my armpits. We don’t even realize what we do to them by spraying them all day with heavy chemicals, so when I wanted to transition to a more natural deodorant, I first had to let my armpits detox. I didn’t wear deodorant for a few weeks (I did this in the winter when I spent most of the time home, and I’m not sure I’d do it in the peak of the summer). For that period, you can offer to apply her a “mask”—a mixture of 1 tablespoon bentonite clay, 1–2 teaspoons water, and 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar. After several days, I switched to baking soda. Yes, baking soda is a natural, healthy, and effective product to use instead of deodorant. Good luck, - F. Schorr, Monsey

Check with a dermatologist whether she has the condition called hyperhidrosis. I have had this condition since I was a teen. Honestly, it does lead to some embarrassing moments every now and then, but baruch Hashem, over the years I’ve learned what clothes I can and cannot wear. The deodorant called Drysol works well for under the arms. The only caveat of the product is that she is likely to sweat more in other places, such as under her feet. There is a particular procedure that can be done for those with this condition that entails clipping the nerve of the sweat glands. I don’t have experience with the procedure, but if she has hyperhidrosis, it might be worth looking into. One more point to consider is that if she does have hyperhidrosis, many of the sweat guards/shields that people suggest will make it worse, so it is best to rule this out first. Hatzlachah rabbah, - R. Deutsch

What helped my daughter (although she was a bit older) was to keep a journal. She recorded the times she found herself sweating profusely along with the activities she did before, the clothing she wore, and what foods she ate. After a couple of days, we reviewed her entries and tried to find a pattern. She stopped drinking coffee (which made her sweat excessively) along with spicy foods. There’s plenty of research that shows certain foods can cause the body to sweat. I would suggest researching the topic and finding out if your daughter has too much of those sweat-inducing foods in her diet. We also noticed that certain fabrics made her sweat much more than others. Additionally, any form of anxiety made her sweat more than the norm. We then tried making some lifestyle changes and put aside the clothing that made her sweat. Thankfully, these small changes made all the difference, and she now rarely has excessive sweating. I don’t know how you can work this out with an 11-year-old, but you can try to follow something to this effect. - Anonymous

Next Up: Any solutions for adolescents who would like to deal with their oily hair? It’s quite the struggle around here. Thanks in advance. Want to share what worked for you with a fellow Wellspring Community member? Send your response to info@wellspringmagazine.com.

Please note: These suggestions should not be implemented in place of guidance from a medical practitioner.

Based on your question, it seems like your daughter is having regular puberty sweating, which she might not be used to. Sweat guards or disposable underarm sweat shields might be useful. However, if you suspect she’s sweating excessively, and more than the norm, check it out with her doctor. Also, make sure she’s using an antiperspirant and not just a deodorant. They are not the same thing.

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DEBATE

DIETITIANS DEBATE

Facilitated by Leah Wolofsky, RD, Esq.

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

Is a Healthy Diet Pricier? With rising inflation, many Americans are struggling to afford what they used to, and one expense that’s falling to the wayside is health food products. For this month’s debate, we asked dietitians: Is a healthy diet more expensive?

RDN in long term care/ subacute rehab and assisted living

“Yes, I believe that healthy foods cost more. Foods like chips and candy definitely cost less. Junk food can be purchased in convenience stores and vending machines for a cheaper price. Healthy foods, on the other hand, like ready-made salads or kale and tuna steak, do cost more than junk foods.”

Noa Miller, RDN at EatWellSoon Counseling in Lakewood, New Jersey, and virtually

“It’s definitely easier to eat well when money is not an issue. Money enables the purchase of more fresh produce and nutritious preprepared foods. The same population that struggles financially also typically spends many hours working, so food prep is difficult, and nutritious shortcuts like buying fresh-cut fruit or vegetables are not affordable. However, it is important to know that even on a tight budget, it is possible to eat a nutritious diet.”

Iris Epstein, RDN in private practice, specializing in eating disorders

“No, I don’t believe that eating healthy has to cost more. However, a person who wants to eat healthy but doesn’t want to spend a lot of money will have to be more creative, and it will require more effort. People should look to see what’s on sale in their supermarkets and buy produce on special offer, or frozen fruits and vegetables, which tend to be cheaper. Frozen vegetables are nonperishable and can be used as a great side dish. They have the same nutritional value as fresh vegetables yet cost less. Stores that sell in bulk, like Costco and BJ’s, have frozen varieties for good prices. Choosing whole grains instead of regular grains can cost the same, and high-fiber foods can also cost the same as low-fiber foods. Eating healthy but not spending a lot of money is possible when making the right decisions and by having the right knowledge and savvy. Choosing apples instead of mangos, or fish/eggs instead of an expensive cut of meat are choices that are more affordable, without compromising on health.”

Samantha Hass, associate dietitian at F-Factor weight loss center

Esther Goldberger, RDN in private practice and in an acute-care setting

“I do believe that eating healthy costs more money. Eating an unhealthier meal like a slice of pizza or a bagel can cost two to three dollars, while the base price of a more nutritive option like a salad can cost anywhere from eight dollars. However, I believe that the payoff of eating healthy is definitely worth the extra cost.”

“Eating healthy can cost more money than eating certain junk food but that does not mean it is unaffordable. Fresh produce, healthy fats, and lean protein can sometimes be pricey. It’s cheaper when you buy frozen or canned produce. In America, fast food is cheap and easy to access, making healthy food an inconvenience and more expensive in comparison. In the long run, however, healthy eating can save a person time and money by decreasing their risk for chronic conditions such as diabetes, heart disease, and cancer. More research is emerging showing the benefits of eating a healthy diet for longevity and quality of life. I think it is worth the cost.”

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What topic would you like to see debated? Let us know by writing to info@wellspringmagazine.com.

Leah Sutton,

FITNESS

FITBITS:

ARE THEY WORTH ALL THE HYPE?

By Chaya Tziry Retter, BS, CPT Chaya Tziry Retter is a Monsey-based nutritionist, fitness instructor, and ACE-certified personal trainer. She has a bachelor of science in human nutrition management and is currently pursuing her registered dietitian credential. She is passionate about helping others lead healthier lives in a way that suits their needs. She can be reached at 845-540-4487.

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It’s the season of breezy weather and brighter skies, motivating more people to get outdoors and get moving. Whether through walking in nature, hiking, biking, swimming, or jogging, many people enjoy doing exercise in beautiful weather. But, unlike a class or a workout regimen, where set times are devoted to the sessions with regular intervals in between, it may be hard to keep tabs on how much outdoor exercise is actually taking place. What about those ten-minute walks to and from playgroup or the sprint down the driveway to catch a runaway toddler? Do they count as exercise too? Wouldn’t it be great if we had some sort of device as proof that yes, really, our entire day is full of activity? It’s not just a hopeful feeling: when we consciously try to walk more, park a little further from our destination, take the steps at work instead of the elevator, and run upstairs for that hundredth forgotten item for a child’s show-and-tell project, each episode adds up to an overall score we can be proud of. It would be nice to know that when we’re finally resting on the couch after a long day, there’s no reason to force ourselves to move a little more—we may have clocked in a full workout’s worth of burned calories! Okay, maybe the last statement was an exaggeration, but still, we shouldn’t underestimate the credit due to our everyday movements. Yet, most of us have no idea how many steps we’ve taken all day, let alone in the last 15 minutes, so how are we supposed to keep track of all those bursts of fitness? Fitbit may be the answer. What is it exactly? In short, a Fitbit is a fitness tracker device that records information about your daily habits and exercise. The exact features depend on the model, but most of them can track the steps you take, your heart rate, the number of staircases you’ve climbed, and more. Fitbit devices also support some manual tracking, like entering your weight and the amount of water you drink each day. A Fitbit device is a bracelet-like smart gadget, but contrary to popular belief, you do not need a smartphone to be a user; you can use any computer to log in and track your progress. That being said, once you’re committed to exercising, you need to decide if you’ll actually wear your Fitbit regularly. If you dislike the feeling of wearing a watch or bracelet, you won’t like a Fitbit either. For a fitness tracker to do its job, you have to wear it

almost all the time. Failing to wear it during a walk means it won’t record your steps. And if you care about sleep tracking, you’ll need to wear it at night, too. You can track your progress daily or at any time and get motivated by seeing how much you already have (or have not!) done. Awareness is a great motivator. You don’t know how much or how little you move unless you track, so fitness wearables can be a valuable asset in determining your movement. You might not need to see an exact number to know you’re not moving enough, but for many people, awareness is the first step in making improvements. What gets measured, gets managed. When you start paying attention, you can make changes in your behavior. Sounds great, right? Well, in some ways it really is. However, like most things in life, there are pros and cons. Here are some of the not-as-good aspects that may potentially deter someone from getting this trendy gadget. Obsession. There’s awareness, motivation, and competition, but the downside is that all that can drive you to paying more attention to your fitness tracker and tracking than you’d really like. It’s important to stay focused and listen to your body instead of becoming hyper-focused on getting to those super-high numbers while struggling through aches or pains. Tracking errors. As with any device, it isn’t perfect or foolproof. It can miss some tracking information or it can add information that really isn’t accurate. It’s wise to watch closely to make sure you’re getting fitness credit you deserve and nothing you haven’t earned. Connection. The device needs to connect with a smartphone and/or computer. On Your Wrist. You need to be committed to wearing a Fitbit most of the day, which you may find uncomfortable. You might feel it’s too conspicuous on your wrist, especially at particular occasions. Consider the above factors when determining whether a Fitbit is the right choice for you. The important thing is to focus on enjoying your workouts, getting those freshair feel-good moments in and being aware of your overall health and the journey to improving it. Even without any gadgets, it’s a step in the right direction.

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WELLBEING FEATURE

$99.

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

ASK THE NUTRITIONIST By Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

A Guide for GERD

Which Lifestyle Changes Can Help? My mother has been dealing with silent GERD for quite some time. She’s been to a gastroenterologist and was told to limit certain foods in her diet. I also experience frequent heartburn and am wondering if those same restrictions would be of help to me. I’d appreciate if you can explain the condition and share your experience with regard to GERD and dietary changes. What are the most important foods to eliminate?

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ASK THE NUTRITIONIST

Thank you for your question. GERD — gastroesophageal reflux disease, is a common issue, both for men and women. Often confused with acid reflux, the two are closely related, but the terms don’t necessarily mean the same thing.

can press against the stomach, forcing acids up into the esophagus. Losing belly fat, therefore, might relieve some of the symptoms — so that’s one more motivation for exercise and healthy eating. Keep in mind though, that while exercise has important benefits, avoid vigorous exercise for a couple of hours after eating. A brisk walk is fine, but a more strenuous workout, especially if it involves bending over, can send acid into the esophagus.

Acid reflux, also known as gastroesophageal reflux (GER), is the backward flow of stomach acid into the esophagus — the tube that connects your throat to your stomach. During an episode of acid reflux, one might feel a burning sensation in their chest, commonly referred to as heartburn. This can occur after eating a big meal or drinking coffee or alcohol.

Alcohol and coffee are common triggers. Limit alcohol intake as excessive alcohol intake can worsen acid reflux symptoms. Also, evidence suggests that coffee worsens acid reflux and heartburn. If that is the case for you, consider limiting your intake.

Sometimes acid reflux progresses to GERD, a more severe form of reflux. The most common symptom of GERD is frequent heartburn — two or more times a week. Other signs and symptoms can include regurgitation of food or sour liquid, difficulty swallowing, coughing, wheezing, and chest pain — especially while lying down at night. Distinguishing between the two is important in order to treat them properly. For occasional acid reflux, the lifestyle changes we will discuss below can provide significant relief. There are also common foods, likewise listed below, that are assumed to trigger heartburn, which you would probably like to avoid or at least limit. For those with GERD, since it’s a more aggressive form of acid reflux, it’s important to be more consistent about these lifestyle changes and completely eliminating trigger foods. GERD may also require medication. The first important change is to avoid eating large meals. Acid reflux usually increases after meals, and larger meals seem to make the problem worse. I always advise clients to eat sparingly and slowly. When the stomach is very full, more acid can enter into the esophagus. If it fits into your schedule, try eating small meals more frequently rather than three large meals daily. The timing of your meals can also impact the symptoms. Observational studies suggest that eating close to bedtime may worsen acid reflux symptoms at night. Limit your meals to three hours before bedtime so that your body has enough time to properly digest the foods. Another big factor that may exacerbate acid reflux is weight. Extra weight means increased pressure inside the abdomen, which causes acid reflux. Excess abdominal fat 48

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Here’s another surprising factor. New research shows that acid reflux might be caused by poor carb digestion and bacterial overgrowth in the small intestine. Consequently, a low-carb diet has been effective for many people.

Other common trigger foods include raw onions and garlic, chocolate, and mint (including mint tea). Although some evidence suggests that these foods worsen acid reflux symptoms, most of them are anecdotal and require further research. In addition, try to limit your intake of carbonated beverages, which temporarily increase the frequency of belching, which may promote acid reflux. If they worsen your symptoms, try drinking less or avoiding them altogether. Most patients with acid reflux report that drinking citrus juice makes their symptoms worse. Researchers believe citrus juice irritates the lining of the esophagus. Fatty foods are high on the list too, along with acidic foods such as tomatoes. Discovering your trigger foods is all about taking note of what you eat, how you feel afterwards, and when your GERD symptoms occur. Here are some more tips to make you feel better.  Chewing gum increases the formation of saliva and helps clear the esophagus of stomach acid.  Elevating the head of your bed may reduce reflux symptoms at night. Place wood blocks under your bed to raise the head about six inches. Raising the pillows, though, is not usually effective for heartburn.  Ginger naturally soothes the stomach and can help reduce the production of stomach acid. Caffeine-free ginger tea with a little honey added as a sweetener is the best way to consume ginger tea for reflux. Ginger ale is unlikely to help because not only is it carbonated and may contain caffeine, most commercial ginger ale sodas also do not contain enough ginger to have an effect.  Due to their high calcium content, dairy products can sometimes reduce the symptoms of acid reflux. Try a plain yogurt and add some honey for sweetness, if needed. Lowfat or fat-free varieties of milk can help too, but fat content can worsen symptoms. Almond milk can also be effective,

as it’s alkaline and can neutralize acidity.  Drink properly. Surprisingly, many people don’t know how to drink properly, which can often result in heartburn. Here are some effective methods for reducing symptoms:  Drink throughout the day to stay hydrated, and avoid drinking large quantities in one sitting.  Do not consume beverages late at night.  Stay in an upright position after having something to drink. It’s important to note that seeing a doctor is important if you suspect that you’re suffering from GERD. Although some cases can be easily managed at home with lifestyle changes and the avoidance of triggers, severe symptoms of GERD may require the use of medication, or in rare cases, surgery. If an individual has severe or frequent symptoms of acid reflux, they should visit their doctor to rule out other conditions. However, people with occasional or mild reflux can usually keep the condition in check with simple lifestyle changes, home remedies, and OTC medications. A medical professional may want to examine the esophagus to check for any more serious damage to the tissue. It’s especially important to seek medical attention if one experiences acid reflux or any other symptoms of GERD while also feeling other symptoms including chest pain, shortness of breath, jaw pain, or right arm pain. These signs may indicate a more serious health problem, such as a heart attack. If you did receive a proper diagnosis from a doctor, it’s worthwhile to consult with a nutritionist and receive individualized guidance.

Your Mental Health Plays a Role Too Treating GERD is mostly about avoiding trigging foods and making general, physical changes to your lifestyle. However, evidence has indicated that making changes to one’s emotional and mental state can greatly relieve symptoms. After all, the digestive system, in addition to other systems, is highly influenced by our emotional state. For one, relaxing can do wonders to the digestive system. GERD itself can be very stressful. Since esophageal muscles play a large role in keeping stomach acids down where they belong, it may help to learn techniques that can relax both the body and mind. Yoga offers enormous benefits by promoting mind-body awareness. If you’re not a yogi, you can even try quiet meditation and deep breathing for a few minutes several times a day to tame your stress levels. Try to give yourself a few minutes a day of relaxation and you’ll be surprised by the difference it can make.

The Medication Factor Some medications you may be taking — including postmenopausal estrogen, tricyclic antidepressants, and anti-inflammatory painkillers — can relax the sphincter, while others —particularly bisphosphonates like alendronate (Fosamax), ibandronate (Boniva), or risedronate (Actonel), which are taken to increase bone density — can irritate the esophagus. Before taking any medication, check with your doctor regarding its side effects.

Laura Shammah MS, RDN, has been operating a private practice in New York and New Jersey for over 20 years. Her clientele runs the gamut from people with eating disorders to those dealing with hypertension, high cholesterol, diabetes and cancer. She also helps clients who run in marathons or are looking to lose or gain weight in a healthy way. Her nutritional guidance is published in MaryAnne Cohen’s book Lasagna for Lunch: Declaring Peace With Emotional Eating. Laura can be reached at 718-376-0062 or Laurashammah@aol.com.

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COVER FEATURE

ARE YOU A HEALTH NUT? BY LIBBY KASTEN

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

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COVER FEATURE

RAISING A CHILD TAKES A VILLAGE—AND LOTS AND LOTS OF FOOD WARS. OR PERHAPS IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY? HERE, FEEDING SPECIALISTS AND NUTRITIONISTS OFFER GUIDANCE ON HOW TO HELP OUR KIDS FEEL SATIATED, AND HAPPY.

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Three untouched sandwiches—avocado, tuna, and peanut butter, if you must know—crispy baked chicken cutlets, and three plates of cold soup are on the kitchen table. The children are settled on the floor beneath the table, sharing the package of pizza-flavored Super Snacks a generous brother received as part of an upsherin peckelah in cheder. My sweaty palms are firmly clasped together, lips shut tight. Dare I say the wrong thing and sign my precious children off to a life of eating disorders. But the clock is ticking, and none of the wholesome supper foods I prepared have been swallowed. Suddenly, I hear a screech as Moishe yanks at Miriam’s ponytail. The strawberry drink in Miriam’s hand sprays mercilessly on an arts and crafts project on the floor nearby. I sigh. They say food makes the mood. As mothers, food plays an enormous role in our daily lives. We want to see our young charges satiated—and not with artificially induced food, either. The children, for their part, are great at sensing our insecurities and will tune into the inner voice of Are they hungry? that plays in our minds throughout the afternoon and bedtime routine. And that will often bring on the power struggle of I don’t like this icky food! or I’m still hungry. Add a picky eater to the mix and you have all the potential for tension-filled meals at the kitchen table, or wherever you’re chasing after your children with the forkful of dripping chicken stew. Rounding out the meals we serve

our families to include different food groups is a very important factor. This is especially true for children, who need a host of vitamins, proteins, starches, and fluid to receive adequate nutrition to support their exponential growth and development. We are aware of the importance of taking note of the ingredients used in foods we prepare and carefully checking labels when purchasing snacks and prepared foods. We want to ensure ingredients are natural and avoid added processed components and preservatives that can be very damaging to overall wellbeing.

THE SATTER METHOD In her work as a certified nutritionist in Israel, Bina Gottdeiner utilizes the Satter method to help parents let go of the insecurity and constant second-guessing of whether their children are satiated and eating the right amounts of foods. This is an intuitive eating method created by Ellyn Satter, an acclaimed dietitian, psychotherapist and feeding expert, and it is designed to empower parents to create an eating environment that fosters a healthy relationship with food for everyone involved. This intuitive eating model encourages parents to decide which food is being served, when it’s being served, and where it’s being served, as well as ensure there is a non-distracting environment and age-appropriate seating and utensils available. The child is tasked with deciding whether to eat, how much to eat, and how to eat the desired foods.

In this model, the food is placed wherever it is to be eaten in buffet style, so children can choose which of the foods they would like to eat and how much of it they wish to eat before feeling full. For younger children, it is often more appropriate to plate the food and allow them to select which food they would like to eat from the plate or to take more of a specific dish. The magic of this method is that it shifts the full responsibility of eating off the mother, and hands some of the obligation over to the children. This removes a huge part of the stress and power struggle that often ensues when children, especially picky eaters, don’t eat the food that is served to them, whether plated or in courses. Although this model may seem harsh and quite extreme in the beginning, in time it becomes normal and will feel natural to children, as opposed to restrictive. By design, it removes a share of the mother’s load in regard to feeding the children, so stressful mealtimes become a thing of the past. Noa Miller, RDN, is a registered dietitian specializing in eating disorders and pediatrics at EatWellSoon Counseling in Lakewood, New Jersey, as well as virtually. She shares how when children are trusted to eat what they enjoy and as much of it as they want until they feel satisfied, they learn to tune in to their feelings of hunger and satiety. Just as we trust them to ask for or take a drink when they feel thirsty or use the bathroom when they need to, they should be trusted to take as much or as little food as they want from what

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COVER FEATURE

parents serve at mealtimes. As frum mothers, with so much of our Shabbos and Yom Tov schedules revolving around meals, and celebrations involving food, we cannot—and should not—be fully executing any food system, but we can use it as a guide. The underlying idea is to let go of the thoughts that my children must eat a certain type or amount of food and the worry of what if they’re hungry? Instead, we must accept that each child will get enough nutrition over the span of a week, even if their intake at each meal does not end up being as balanced as we would have liked. If we give ourselves the grace to sometimes be imperfect with our diet, we should extend the same grace to our kids—and trust that we’ll all turn out fine. The idea is for children to be confident with the foods they eat and be happy and comfortable around eating, and we must put effort into what is in our control—making sure there is a variety of fruits and veggies, grains, and protein on the menu. This way, we can make sure our children will have the opportunity to get as many food groups as possible and balance their nutrition. The second part is letting go of what is outside of our control, such as keeping quiet when a child chooses to ignore the protein or fruits and veggies at a meal. And, as frum families with an eventful calendar, we must keep flexibility in mind. Seeing firsthand the effect of the eating habits children grow up with on their wellbeing, Noa stresses that pressured feeding puts children at risk for selective and disordered eating. She warns that when following Ellyn Satter’s guidelines, it’s important not to be too rigid. “We aren’t in France, where every family 54

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eats perfectly on schedule, and so we have to adapt this model to be a little more flexible in order to promote a healthy relationship with food.” Noa explains that “responsive feeding” is really important, too. This means responding to your children’s individual needs, behaviors, and requests. If you and your kids are tired and cranky, it’s understandable that you’ll pull out a less balanced meal. If a child has ADHD and cannot sit at the table for long, reading a book or watching something might help them stay at the table—or you might let them move around while eating. Bina also notes that although our children need consistent full meals when they are very young to support their rapid growth and development, this slows down at around two years of age and parents do not have to get stressed if the eating patterns slow down, too.

BEDTIME HUNGER PANGS The same trust should be carried over to bedtime snacking, another great challenge for many parents. What happens a while after dinnertime if a child comes out of bed, or is not yet in bed, and complains that they’re hungry? In general, Noa suggests allowing a light snack, such as a fruit or vegetable, to be eaten during the bedtime routine. If the child did not have a filling supper that day, something more filling like peanut butter or cheese with a rice cake can be added to the bedtime snack to ensure they don’t go to sleep hungry. With older children, it is even more important to trust that they are hungry if they claim to be so.

She recalls an incident where she worked with a mother whose daughter was gaining an unusual amount of weight in a short time span. It turned out that this girl was skipping breakfast and therefore eating an exorbitant amount of macaroni at lunch in school daily. We need to carry out our part of the deal and ensure our children are eating consistently throughout the day to avoid imbalance at another point. Also, a mother should always trust her own instinct if something is out of balance and try to find the underlying cause, or work with a qualified dietician or feeding expert to do so.

COMMUNICATION AND EDUCATION As Bina suggests, having open conversations with children about food is vital. As Yidden, we have a responsibility to eat wholesome foods that keep our bodies healthy to do mitzvos with vitality, and children can fully understand that. Encouraging them to be part of meal planning and explaining food group choices is a great way to naturally develop a positive association with food and meals. She notes the fascinating studies that prove a child’s emotional associations with food will impact their metabolism. This means that maintaining a stress-free environment around food and mealtimes will help our children digest the food they eat properly. In the same vein, we should avoid using food as a reward, as this creates a “good behavior equals food” association in children and damages the natural intuition around food. Noa also cautions about the dam-

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COVER FEATURE

age that can result from telling kids that a certain food is healthy or not. Young children’s brains are not yet developed enough to know the difference between a food that isn’t good for them and a person who is bad for giving them said food, etc. It is best to teach them that eating a variety of foods is good for us, as each has different nutritional value.

LIMITING WITHOUT RESTRICTING As a young girl, I joined a backyard day camp staff as an assistant. We prepared the bunk rooms by setting up benches and cubbies along the director’s living room walls for one grade, and the same for the second class in a neighbor’s basement. Every afternoon, after a noisy and activity-filled day, my partner and I would put the rooms back into order, prepare supplies, and make the necessary arrangements for the following day’s schedule. It was during one of our weekly planning meetings that we noticed a bulging shopping bag stuffed into a cubbyhole belonging to the fifth-grade campers. At first, we thought a girl had forgotten her lunch, but when we opened the bag, we found the contents of nearly an entire nosh aisle (no, not the made-from-real-fruit-good-foryou-variety). Something clicked in my mind. Chani’s mother was the queen of an all-healthy-eating home. And that is when I learned a valuable lesson in nutrition, one which repeatedly blares in my mind as I do my part to ensure the meals and snacks my children consume are good for them, on a physical and emotional level: excessively limiting children’s diet is a great way to create junk hoarders. 56

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IS PREPARING HEALTHY FOOD ENOUGH? The reality is that in most frum communities, kids trade snacks in school, participate in Shabbos parties both in the classroom and at home, and share food with neighbors. We join family and friends for Yom Tov meals, and the kiddush at shul features delicacies we don’t want our kids to lay their hands on. This is aside from the unhealthy weight aspect, which we so much want to spare our children from having to deal with, both as youngsters and later as adults. So, if you’re following this far, you must have realized that the wholespelt sugar-free date-and-oat muffin you lovingly packed into your daughter’s schoolbag may have been consumed by a naive friend, traded for a bag of good ol’ Super Snacks, or simply ignored among more favorable distractions on her cheerfully colored desk. But wait. She may also have looked around the classroom at what each of her peers was eating, and then happily unwrapped the foil around the whole-spelt sugar-free date-and-oatmeal muffin you lovingly packed and swallowed big bites of wholesome goodness before the next class began. Noa stresses the importance of making a food model work for you and your family and explains that she uses the Satter method as a baseline when coaching parents of both young and older children, without making food a free-for-all affair. She believes that the 80/20 rule applies here, too, and as with anything in life, we don’t want to be overly rigid and risk developing negative and restrictive food associations in children. If the children come home with

pekelach, for instance, or the family attends a shul kiddush, parents should let the kids enjoy their “fun foods.” Otherwise, they’re likely to be the ones trading the healthy food for sugar-loaded snacks at school and pulling stacks of iced cookies off the sweet table at simchos. Parents can, however, take the opportunity of the impromptu snack time initiated by the pekelach to offer a cheese stick and applesauce in addition to the fun (or junk!) food. In fact, parents should not be surprised if the kids show more interest in these offerings than in their nosh when there is no food pressure and all foods are “neutral”!

SCHOOL LUNCHES AND REWARDS Although we’d love for schools to serve more nutritious lunches (if your school serves lunch at all!) the reality is that in most schools, economic factors outweigh nutritious ones, and the children are served less than optimal meals. Additionally, using junk food as a reward is common practice in schools, yet Noa believes that as a community of schools and parents working together, change can be made, albeit slowly. In the meantime, she cautions against singling out kids by instructing teachers not to give them nosh or not allowing them to eat the treats they got from school. It’s more important that kids feel neutral about all foods and don’t feel singled out. Ultimately, this will better support their health in the long run. It’s not only the actual food they eat that counts, we know, but also the vibes they get around it and how they feel about themselves that contribute to their growth into healthy, confident adults.

Q&A

THE SATTER METHOD BY BINA GOTTDEINER, CN CHC

What if my child asks for something other than what’s being served? Tell the child that this is what’s being served, and we can have that other food a different time.

What if my child only has one bite? Then that is their decision. They will not starve.

What if my child asks for food beyond the scheduled mealtime? You can let them know when the next mealtime is and have them wait. If the mealtimes are at regular intervals, the child will not be genuinely hungry. At the end of mealtimes, you can gently remind children that this is when Mommy is serving food, so if they want to eat, the time is now.

DO:  Provide age-appropriate seating and utensils  Include a “safe food” at every meal that you know your child likes  Serve meals at regular times  Serve very small portions (this lets the child experience satiety, learn to ask for more, and prevents waste)  State gently yet firmly that Mommy is serving food now (not later)  Ensure there are minimal distractions  Create a positive, relaxed environment

What if my child only wants dessert? Serve the dessert alongside the meal. This will take the focus off the dessert and stop the dessert from being placed on a pedestal.

What if a guest (child) asks for a snack before a meal is served? Validate the child, then let the child know that it will soon be mealtime in your house, and that right now we are playing. Show them the available toys/activities.

DON'T:  Negotiate (“If you take two more bites…”)  Force a child to finish their food  Withhold privileges because a child didn’t eat

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SAMPLE

SAMPLE By Libby Silberman

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

Bowen Therapy Happy sunshine to all of you! Welcome to Sample, and this one’s as good as aged wine. This experiment has taken a while. Last June, I reached out to Judy Justman, a certified Bowen therapy practitioner, hoping to snag an interview for Wellspring’s Cup of Tea column. I’d heard about her work many times, mostly via an email group for Anglo women living in Yerushalayim, and I was intrigued. I did some research before speaking to her, and my radar went off. Bowen therapy sounded suspiciously way too good. Instead of interviewing Judy, I opted to invite her to our Lab for the greatest test of all times. Would she participate in a Sample experiment? Then we’d know the truth. She was game, and we got the ball rolling. For starters, I had to try this thing myself. Shortly before summer vacation last year, I visited her clinic for a full relaxing body treatment. As she ran her fingers along my neck and shoulders, she asked me if I sandwiched my phone between my head and shoulders while chatting on the phone, being that she felt tension in the area. Yup! Guilty as charged. She released the tension in my neck and warned me against this bad habit. (And here I am, one year later, still as guilty as charged!) I felt very woozy the following day, but Judy had warned me about that. She’d released toxins that my body needed to get rid of, and it was normal to feel that way. I’d have tried two more sessions to complete the round fully, but Judy and I were both traveling for summer vacation, and the matter was dropped. I would have to rely on our Samples alone to tell the truth…

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SAMPLE

The Experiment Does Bowen therapy really work? I posted word about the upcoming experiment (with the discounted price tag, of course) on a large group, and soon Judy and I were bombarded with emails with all kinds of issues. Judy selected a range of issues to treat, and our Bowen therapy Sample was in business!

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How Does Bowen Therapy Work? There are many theories behind how Bowen treatment actually works. Developed in the 1950s by Australian Thomas Ambrose Bowen (Tom Bowen), there is no scientific evidence to prove how Bowen actually heals. Many studies have proven that Bowen prompted recovery or body tissue repair, but the body’s path to accomplishing this is unclear. Although research is still ongoing, most theories conclude that recovery via Bowen has to do with the way the brain reacts to neural stimuli. As humans, we can develop appropriate responses to just about any stimulus in an instant. You can verbalize thoughts quickly, pull away a hand when touching something that’s too hot, or close your eyes to prevent wind from blowing sand in your eyes. These reactions are caused by messages emitted by the brain, and the brain sends out a lot of them per minute— over 600,000, in fact. When body tissue has been damaged or any other illness occurs in the body, the brain continues looping the information to keep reminding you of the pain and injury. Bowen interferes with the messaging system and feeds new information to the brain. Bowen practitioners work on different parts of the body in sequences and patterns, with regular intervals between the sequences that interfere with the existing neural circuits, giving the brain a chance to examine the new set of variables. The body has a hard time fighting the recovery since Bowen overrides the natural defense system.

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SAMPLE

How It Went Over: Here’s a sneak peek into the inner workings of Bowen. Real people. Real issues. Real recoveries? To be determined.

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Shaindel

Miri

I’m 30 years old and due to give birth soon to my fifth child. I’ve had two C-sections in the past and want to ensure that I’ll be able to have a natural birth this time. Bowen is said to balance the body and prepare it for birth, even helping it move into labor if the body is ready. Being overdue increases the risk of C-section, and I want to prevent that from happening. Additionally, I would love to feel relief from pregnancy aches and pains. So here I am, ready to try it out.

At 41 years old, I’m the mother of six children.

Session 1: I got a slight headache immediately following the session. The tingling in my hands actually got worse. However, my legs felt much lighter than they had in a while. They were more flexible and less swollen. This positive development lasted a day or two. Session 2: Again, a slight headache immediately after the session, and the tingling in my hands did not improve. In fact, I kept waking up at night from discomfort. This time, the swelling in my legs and ankles improved for a longer period of time; around a week or so. Session 3: I came to the session this week with an achy upper back and shoulders, and this felt better immediately after the session. The swelling in my legs improved and this time, it stayed that way. It wasn’t like pre-pregnancy, but my blood circulation was the best it could be at this point. This time, I did observe improvement in circulation in my hands, and they didn’t tingle for three full days. It was the first time in around a month that I slept through the night. Despite wanting to go into labor before my due date with the help of Bowen, I ended up having a natural but complicated birth three days after my due date.

I’ve been suffering from chronic headaches since I was young, perhaps eight years old. I’m constantly on the lookout for medicinal or alternative cures. Also, I started suffering from backaches during my first pregnancy, and they’ve never really left me, even after pregnancy. Recently, it’s gotten much worse. I’m told that Bowen therapy primarily targets musculoskeletal issues as well as neurological issues, so I’m a shoo-in with my two presenting problems. I attended six sessions of Bowen and am grateful to report that I am now free of backache! I will be doing some more sessions after this trial to try to cure my constant headaches.

Aliza N. I’m 25 years old and live in Ramat Eshkol. I have two little girls. For a little over ten years, I’ve been having stomachaches. With time, I observed that they would occur when I was stressed out or nervous. During my school years, this happened before exams, and when I was older, it happened more frequently as I was in shidduchim and working. I never managed to get a clinical diagnosis for this issue. I attended four Bowen therapy sessions at Judy Justman. I didn’t really pay attention to what she was doing and spent the sessions relaxing or chatting. I see a major difference, baruch Hashem! A definite marked improvement in frequency and severity of my stomach pains.

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SAMPLE

Chaya I’m 45 years old. Three years ago, I was in an accident that left me with lower-back and shoulder pain. I also have “stuck” places thanks to the accident, which prevent full range of motion and make mundane tasks like folding laundry, sweeping, and peeling vegetables complicated. Additionally, the past year has been a challenging one, starting with a bad case of COVID, traveling, and the hectic happy challenges of marrying off a child. In fact, I married off two children this year. Only such problems for Jewish mothers! In terms of health background, I’ve suffered from irregular cycles for many years and PMS. I’d love to try Bowen and see if it can help any of my multiple issues. Here’s what changed since I started my Bowen sessions: • More mobility, can walk quicker, and feel my back less when walking uphill • Overall sense of wellbeing and deeper sleep • Nasal congestion and snoring ceased • PMS symptoms immensely relieved • Cycles are more regulated • Long-COVID symptoms are gone I also took my 14-year-old daughter along for a couple of sessions because she suffered from premenstrual cramps, and she experienced tremendous relief. She also claims to be sleeping better.

Debbie I’m seeking Bowen treatment for my six-month-old baby, A.J. (short for Avraham Yehuda). He’s my fourth child and was born three weeks early. For the first three months of his life, he was a good baby, nursed well, and slept well. However, at around the four-month mark, A.J. started acting up. He wouldn’t sleep more than one-hour stretches and screamed when he wasn’t being held. Something was obviously bothering him, but I couldn’t figure out what it was. When the babysitter started throwing comments about A.J. and the babysitting not working out anymore, I knew I had to do something about the situation, and fast. I noticed the Bowen trial post and went for it. Session 1: A.J. relaxed and really enjoyed the session. He slept through the first night and was happy spending time on his stomach the next day. He is sleeping longer stretches, waking only once at night. I’ve noticed that he is much calmer during the day. Session 2: A.J. is a bit fussier, and again, wakes up around five times during the night. His babysitter says he suddenly went back to long crying spells and requiring holding most of the time. Session 3: Marked improvement! He is much calmer. He still wakes up frequently during the night but settles down sooner. During the day he is also calmer, nurses well, plays, and only cries when hungry or tired. No further sessions were required. A.J. has remained a happy settled baby since, baruch Hashem.

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According to Judy Justman,

Henya

Bowen can be helpful for the following: • back issues

I’m 24 years old, originally from Far Rockaway, and I’ve been living in Eretz Yisrael since my wedding one and a half years ago. Around two and a half years ago, I was involved in a very serious car accident. Although I fully recovered from a medical perspective, I’m still suffering from upper back pain. According to Bowen reviews, the treatment is very effective for skeletal issues. As for my results, I went to Judy for many Bowen sessions, and they were extremely relaxing and enjoyable. I felt dizzy and had lots of back pain after the first two sessions, but after the third I started feeling enormous relief. However, the relief was short-lived as the pain returned after a couple of days. This cycle went on for a while—Bowen-relief-pain on repeat. I ended up seeing a doctor who diagnosed an unrelated internal issue that I had to treat. The doctor suggested that the internal issue was likely causing all improvement to revert after a couple of days, so I had to stop treatment for the time being.

• frozen shoulder • bedwetting • bladder issues • digestive issues • fatigue • muscular aches • headaches/migraines • menstrual irregularities • hormonal imbalances • mobility issues • repetitive strain injury (RSI) • muscle stiffness • respiratory issues • sports injuries • stress

Elisheva My three-year-old daughter, Penina, has had issues with digestion/elimination ever since she was a baby. She was terribly colicky as an infant for a full year. I don’t know exactly when the next phase began, but since sometime later, she has always been constipated or passing very loose stool. It’s been on and off depending on what she’s eating, but despite elimination diets and vitamins, the situation has stayed the mostly the same. I’ve tried a couple of other alternative methods, but nothing has worked so far. Let’s see if Bowen is the answer! I’m looking to strengthen her digestive system in general so that she can easily tolerate all foods. I did not observe any changes after the first session. Following the second session, I thought she was less irritable, especially after she had a dairy yogurt (which usually is a tummy trigger). We attended another Bowen session, but unfortunately, I didn’t notice any improvement significant enough to keep attending these sessions.

• prenatal discomforts • natural labor induction

Baby Bowen can be helpful in relieving the following: • restlessness • colic • reflux • constipation, bloating, gassiness • asthma • respiratory infection • muscle strain/injury • stiff neck • physical delays • birth trauma

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SAMPLE

More Bowen Success Stories (Provided by Bowen practitioner Judy Justman)

Etty G.

Shiri

As a mother of young children with a degree in occupational therapy, I am passionate about treating issues at their core root versus rather than opting for short-term solutions as a Band-Aid. I was first introduced to this modality when my one-month-old baby would suddenly cry uncomfortably, and my pediatrician dismissed my concerns saying, “Babies can be fussy.” I didn’t believe a newborn should be unhappy without a treatable reason, so I took my baby for a session of craniosacral therapy. This adjusted his digestive system to a mature state, and following one treatment, I had a happy baby who was able to process his nutrition correctly. With my next few children, I had them treated via CST before the issues began. With my youngest, born a few weeks early, I needed something more than CST, and found Bowen therapy miraculous. I even call Judy when my baby is fussy for no apparent reason. A few minutes of her magical touch, and my baby is settled and content.

I was having really bad pain in my legs to the point that any time I stood up, I’d start tearing. I went the medical route and was told that all appeared fine in X-rays and in ultrasounds. I tried the emotional route, religiously practicing the Sarno method for a while, without improvement.

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Then I tried Bowen therapy, figuring I had not much to lose at that point. I’ve been feeling so much better, it’s incredible! I’ve always been the antibiotics-for-ear-infection and Vermox-for-pinworms type, and I’ve suddenly discovered that alternative treatments really do work.

Chaya Esther When my baby was three months old, he was extremely unhappy and gassy, and didn’t sleep a lot. After two sessions of Bowen therapy (as well as some diet changes) my baby was a lot happier, sleeping longer stretches, and a lot less colicky.

Sarah Besides being a very relaxing experience, Bowen therapy relieved me from pregnancy-related sciatica pain. It helped my body adjust and get ready for birth, and I started having contractions after my second session.

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SAMPLE

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

What Happens in a Bowen Session? Bowen therapy sessions usually last approximately 45 minutes. It’s advisable to wear loose-fitting, comfortable clothing. The practitioner may ask you to drink some water before the session. Hydrated cells react much better than thirsty ones. You will be asked to sit on a chair or lie on a bed, depending on the areas being worked on. The practitioner will use their fingers to creating rolling movements and gentle pressure on certain areas. The practitioner will provide 2–5-minute breaks between routines and different parts of the body.

Does Bowen Therapy Work? Other sources weigh in (Healthline.com)

For example, a 66-year-old woman received 14 Bowen therapy sessions in the span of four months to cure her chronic migraines as well as neck and jaw pain caused by injury. At the final two sessions, the client reported no pain, and at a follow-up ten months later, the client was still pain free. On the other hand, a 2017 study found contradictory results. Thirty-four trial participants received two real Bowen therapy sessions or a mock procedure. Researchers then measured the participants’ pain tolerance on ten different areas on their bodies. Results were inconsistent, with participants’ reports of pain or nopain mostly irrelevant to the treatment they’d received. Arguably, the participants joined the study without suffering from any particular health issues, and the therapy was only performed twice. Would results have varied had they received treatment over a longer period of time? Possibly. Much research on Bowen therapy suggests it can be helpful for motor function and musculoskeletal flexibility. In a 2011 study, most of the 120 participants claimed to have improved hamstring flexibility after only one session. Another study conducted the same year tested Bowen on stroke victims. After 13 sessions, many participants had increased motor function. These studies suggest that Bowen may be good, especially for pain, flexibility, and motor function, but more studies are needed to determine the effectiveness.

Results:

According to health journalist Kirsten Nunez, Bowen therapy seems promising, but there’s limited scientific proof that Bowen therapy actually works. The treatment hasn’t been widely researched yet, despite many positive outcomes via Bowen therapy. While many Samples reported improvement, others didn’t experience any noticeable or longterm changes after trying Bowen therapy, so in this case, it was hard to draw conclusive results. Try it for yourself and let me know what your take is on the topic!

Curious about a health fad but don’t want to be the experimental subject just yet? I may want to experiment with that! Send a message to info@wellspringmagazine.com, subject line “Libby’s the Sample.” Meet you in the lab!

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5782

CUP OF TEA

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

Cup of Tea with

Gelly Asovski, LCSW-R, RPT-S Gelly Asovski

OCCUPATION: Mother and Bubby first; Child and Family Therapist; Registered Play Therapy Supervisor; EMDR Consultant; coordinator of Rockland County EMDR TRN (Trauma Recovery Network); developer, creator, and host of Playful Parenting Telecourse and online parenting programs

PASSION: Helping children and families heal and bringing happiness and fun back into parenting

SHE WISHES PEOPLE WOULD KNOW: How much power they have as a parent to create happy, healthy families and how simple daily actions can make such a big difference.

by Roizy Baum WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5782

CUP OF TEA

One of twelve siblings, it’s easy to spot Gelly at family simchos: She’s the one with the kids and teenagers around her, giving them a good time. It’s no wonder she’s been granted enough Favorite Tanta mugs to fill a shelf. “I’m a baby whisperer of sorts,” says Gelly with a laugh. “I just love kids and feel like the world’s children are my children.”

Although Gelly dreamed of a home filled with children, Hashem had other plans for her. “Our first two children were born into our happy family, and then that was it,” Gelly shares. “We started a journey—and chose to make the best of what we’d been granted by Hashem. I never looked back. I’m a ‘mother’ to countless nieces and nephews and it’s a real privilege,” she says. “There’s so much in this world that you take what you have and just enjoy it.” With twenty years of experience as a therapist, it’s obvious that Gelly is a lifelong learner. Never relinquishing opportunities to grow, Gelly is constantly training. What spurred a heimish woman from Monsey to enter the field of therapy two decades ago, an idea practically unheard of at the time? Back then, Gelly’s husband was working with

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bachurim who weren’t exactly fitting the mold. “These boys were desperate for more support, but the only therapists around were secular or Modern Orthodox. Knowing how much I love kids, my husband kept urging me to go to social work school. “The idea of going for higher education was so foreign to me. We were so busy at that time—we had been house parents for developmentally delayed teenaged boys, living in a group home, spending Shabbos with the teens, cooking for them, caring for them—and the idea of college had never crossed my mind.” A doctorate would’ve been Gelly’s first choice but she wasn’t going to do research for a living, and neither was she interested in schooling for half a decade. Social work,

which requires two years of graduate school, would be the best path forward. Gelly was open about her goal from the start: the quickest path to start helping the community. Since college was not an accepted choice at the time in her community, Gelly made sure to do so only after consulting with Daas Torah. “Nobody in my circles went to college; it wasn’t even an option. But with the encouragement of daas torah that our community needs a heimish, Yiddish-speaking therapist, I embarked on a journey to bring mental health support to the frum community, catering to its specific needs and lifestyle.” Empire State College then offered a study-at-home bachelor’s program with mentoring, and Gelly opted for that. A well-read woman, the studying and testing part

of the college package didn’t faze her. She remembers the reaction of her college mentor after taking ten tests a mere two weeks after starting a 500-page psychology book: “We never met someone like you. Are you sure you don’t want to become a psychologist?” “After Empire State college reviewed my life experience,” Gelly continues, “I got credits for that along with credits for my seminary year. When I finished my bachelor’s degree, I knew that if I wanted to bring the best to the frum community, I had to get into an academically rigorous school for my master’s degree. At that time, NYU and Brown University were the top two social work schools in the U.S.” Because NYU had a satellite campus about a 25-minute drive from Gelly, it seemed the better

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CUP OF TEA

of the two options, and so she applied there.

2003, Gelly officially held her first position as a social worker serving the frum community.

Her children were the tender ages of two and five when Gelly started graduate school. She burned the midnight oil writing reports, studying, taking tests, and studying some more. As someone who’s meticulous with her time, showing up five minutes late for class was not an option for Gelly. “On my first day of class,” she recalls, “I couldn’t find the classroom in the campus—that’s how huge it was. When I finally found it and grabbed the last seat, I looked around the room. There were about 18 of us—only two men—and I had to sit and wait for all the introductions to pass. Most of the students were older than me, and talked about what led them to their career shift. All of them were there to make a difference.” Social work, in general, attracts a greater percentage of women than men, so the fact that the females outnumbered the males was not unusual. When Gelly’s turn came to introduce herself, she utilized the opportunity to set her boundaries straight away in the secular world. “Hi, I’m Gelly Asovski. I’m the third of twelve children. I wear a wig on my head, and I don’t shake hands with men.” Her mini speech garnered some shocked looks, but setting a foundation was of utmost importance to her. “You can bet those two men never sat next to me, never did a group meeting with me, and never exchanged a word with me,” Gelly adds. Gelly remembers the day she wore a sheitel that was styled differently than the one she usually wore. After lots of hushing, humming, and buzzing, one student finally gathered the courage to ask, “Are you wearing different hair today?” People would come over with Jewish questions all the time. Looking back, Gelly notes that it was an amazing experience. “We’re not living in a vacuum,” Gelly says. “Where would I be without faith, without yiras Shamayim? What would life be like without it?” After Gelly finally graduated, landing a job was no picnic. After six months of endless searching, Gelly heard about a local health center that had recently opened a mental health department. The hiring process was long and drawn out, but finally, in June of 74

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First and Foremost

"Nothing could relieve me of my pain, and I would feel tremendous anxiety around trucks whenever I was on the highway."

Regardless of her career choices, one aspect of her life was set in stone for Gelly Asovski: First and foremost, I am a mother. Understandably, if you take the road of motherhood first—putting the kids’ needs before the career—even if you train consistently, getting the LCSW can take a while. In Gelly’s case, it took six years instead of three, but “there were no regrets. My family came first,” she says. Finally, she got there, but very soon she realized that her training as a social worker and play therapist hadn’t been enough. After a traumatic head-on collision triggered by a sudden downpour—whereby a truck barreled into Gelly, causing her to swerve, hit the truck’s wheel and nearly roll off a cliff—Gelly discovered EMDR. “I tried three years of therapy after that trauma,” she recalls. “Nothing could relieve me of my pain, and I would feel tremendous anxiety around trucks whenever I was on the highway. Finally, a friend of mine recommended EMDR and three months later I was driving on the highway—in the rain without a problem.” Once Gelly was helped by EMDR, her goal became to help children and families through this modality. There was one caveat, though: all EMDR trainings took place on Shabbos. Still, Gelly worked feverishly to enable training for a frum woman like herself. “I brought down Dr. Gary Quinn from Israel, a frum practitioner. The training was excellent. “At that time, I started talking to Nefesh— an organization for mental health professionals. We got a group and we all trained together. It was ten years into my practice as a therapist, and while I had a lot of skills before the EMDR training, I didn’t have what it took to help people move through their trauma so that it no longer impacted their lives. With EMDR, I had personal experience and full trauma training as well. I could finally help people heal.” Certifying for EMDR is time-intensive, but Gelly went on a long journey to first becom-

ing EMDR-certified and then becoming a consultant. “I was actually invited to become an EMDR facilitator,” Gelly shares. “But again, because most of the trainings happen on Shabbos, I chose not to pursue that route.” Currently, Gelly is a chapter co-author in an upcoming EMDR publication and well on her way to starting research in the world of EMDR for children and families. Gelly is also the coordinator of the local Trauma Recovery Network, which is part of the EMDR Humanitarian Assistance Program. The program provides pro bono therapy in times of community crisis, natural disasters, hate crimes, and terrorism. “It’s another way in which I can serve the community. Now that my children are older, I can drop and run if there’s a problem.” Unfortunately, Gelly has been called in to assist in various challenging situations. Threaded through the tapestry of Gelly’s professional journey is a fierce love for humanity, and a driving force of her life is pride in her identity. “No matter how many certifications I have, I’m the same person through and through,” Gelly says. Throughout it all, she’s been wearing her modest sheitel and tznius skirts—no compromises. With an online presence increasingly nonnegotiable in the professional world, Gelly shares what sets her apart from others. “I’m on social media for parnasah, but I don’t spend time there. I’m there because I’m making a living. I post, I respond, and then I log off and live my life. The best parts of my day are offline, seeing my grandkids, helping my children, being a wife, daughter, relative, and neighbor, and being the fun tanta. Several years ago, Gelly established her presence on social media. “After the devastating attack at a shul in Monsey, I created videos to spread information to people on how to manage the trauma.” When COVID hit, Gelly used social media to support mothers in getting through those difficult times. Her COVID Story For Gelly, COVID is not just another chapter. It’s another book. “At the cusp of COVID, I was going through the typical empty-nest syndrome pangs. I had time to think about this and that. We traveled more, we hosted more, and then it all came to a halt with the pandemic.” Many years ago, Gelly was diagnosed with preg-

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Start Playing Here are some popular games from Gelly's Playful Parenting program. 1. Pizza on the Back Create a pizza on your child's back. Use gentle massaging motions to sift flour, mix water and flour, knead the dough, spread the pizza sauce, sprinkle the cheese and bake the pizza. Use your creativity to create burgers, sushi or any of your child's favorite foods on their back. Then let them prep your favorite food on yours. This is especially fun at bedtime, when the child is lying in their bed and relaxing.

2. Bop It Bopping balloons around the house is an all-time favorite. Simply blow up balloons and bop them against each other. You can also tie balloons to your child's ankles and chase each other around to pop each other’s balloons. There are multiple variations to this game. The main thing is to have a good time. 3. Hide and Find Hide small items like a cotton ball, a post-it note with a message, a little candy or even a sticker and have your child find it. You can even hide something on a child's sleeve, in their pocket, under a collar, behind the ear, in the shoes, etc. This game can be adapted to various ages. The idea is to boost connection and play and engage kids in being curious about where things are being hidden on them and get a good laugh as well. 4. Planting Kisses This one's great for very young kids. My three-year-old grandson loves it! Plant kisses into the child's shoes and toesies! Whenever I dress him or undress him, I make sure to tell my grandson that I’m tucking kisses into his shoes for the day or leaving kisses in his toesies for the night. His eyes light up at this gesture of love.

nancy- induced lupus, a chronic, inflammatory, connective tissue disease that can affect the joints and many organs. While her kind of lupus isn’t life-threatening, she has been sick on and off throughout her life. Minor ailments like flu can take Gelly ten days to recover from. “And then,” Gelly says, good cheer injected in her words, “it can easily develop into bronchitis, and then pneumonia, and I can be sick on and off throughout the winter to the point that clients raise their brows and say, ‘Wow. You get sick really often.’” When she was a younger parent, it was particularly hard as lupus is characterized by periods of feeling very 76

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weak. When sick, Gelly would stumble in from work, collapse into a chair and wonder, How can I do it all? “I don’t know how I got through the day sometimes,” she admits. On more than one occasion, Gelly’s face swelled to twice its size due to a medical condition called angioedema—but she forced herself to go out. “People were amazed at my guts for going out like that, but I remained unfazed. I wanted to have a life,” she says. Once, wanting to feel normal, she stepped into a clothing store just to browse, with a very swollen, pus-filled face. Gelly relates how validated she felt then. “The first thing I told the saleslady

found ourselves in the throes of COVID and everything that came with it, I called to cancel all my clients. I knew I had to take quarantine very seriously.” In one day, Gelly gave up 90 percent of her practice. Her clients thought she was overreacting. But only two days after Purim, she started feeling aches and pains, which she blamed on sitting a lot. Five days later, Gelly was struggling for air. “I couldn’t breathe,” she recalls vividly. “My doctors were emailing me every single day. And I thought, They’re so nice. Is this what they do for everyone who has COVID? That’s how clueless I was. They all instructed me not to go to the hospital, and I had no idea how worried they were about me.” “There is no logical explanation for my survival,” Gelly says. “Only because Hashem wanted this for me. I didn’t even have enough clarity to call Hatzolah and I didn’t understand how seriously ill I really was. Later, my doctor apologized, explaining why she hadn’t gotten the severity of the situation—she’d herself had COVID.” Knowing her lungs were closing on her, Gelly was terrified of going to sleep. She recounts how she handled her situation. “I kept taking homeopathic medicine that my homeopath prescribed, hoping to keep my lungs alive as the doctors didn’t have any answers. I put a pellet under my tongue, and my lungs opened for just about ten minutes. Then, they started closing on me again. At a certain point, I just made peace with dying, yet I survived. Since then, I feel like a new person, that I crossed that threshold in preparation to meet my Maker and that I was granted a second lease on life.” Once she had passed those fateful few months and her health started improving, baruch Hashem, Gelly was still very much stuck at home, desperate to make a difference to the world in some way.

was, ‘Don’t mind my face. It’s not contagious and I’m not trying anything on.’ The store owner was so kind, sharing that she knew someone with lupus, too. ‘You’re fine,’ she reassured me. I’ll never forget that.” Sense of Survival At the start of COVID, Gelly’s lungs were operating at 65 percent. “As a forever optimist, I used to think that 65 percent was just fine,” Gelly shares. “I thought all I needed was to be careful about running up the stairs or climbing tall mountains. But, two days after Purim, when we

When Gelly found a program online that teaches how to create a course, she knew it was just what she wanted to do with her time while recovering at home. By the time June and July came, the skeletal system for her Playful Parenting course was drafted out and Gelly was ready to create her program. Finally, in August, after an arduous recovery process, Gelly started seeing people outside—on a bench, literally. A typical day consisted of seeing two clients and resting most of the day. “In the middle of the night,” Gelly says, with passion, “I’d wake up and write notes. Organize and write more notes. And unbelievably, the entire Playful Parenting course was created through my very long recovery.” Following months in which Gelly was incapable of performing the most mundane chores, even cooking, she is supremely grateful for what she is able to do, and takes

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none of it for granted. Even after her most recent bout with COVID, which left her with great difficulty walking, she finally went back to work full-time. “My mind is working well. Baruch Hashem, I can make it down the stairs to my office. Life is just too precious and there is so much to accomplish in this world!” Yet for Gelly, it’s always family first. “I’d better practice what I preach,” she says with a laugh. Small Pockets of Time Therapy is not a one-size-fits-all solution. In fact, Gelly discourages parents against sending kids to therapy if they don’t first try to meet those kids’ emotional needs. “What these parents need is parenting help! Therapists are not here to give the kids extra attention,” Gelly asserts. “If we’re too busy to parent, a therapist will not be able to replace our role as a mother. “As a therapist, I work hard to make parents feel comfortable in my office. I tell them, ‘If I had a parenting issue and you’d have a degree, I could be the one on the couch.’ We all need support. We all go through hard times. Parents are so vulnerable when they come for help, and my goal is never to be higher or better than the person I talk to, because I am a human being just like them. Yet, on a personal level, I can relate to tzaar gidul banim. No one escapes challenges in raising children.” With the results Gelly has seen working with children and families along with her parenting work, she gathered the information needed for the creation of her Playful

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

Parenting telecourse. “I created this course to bring love, playfulness, nurture, and connection back into Yiddishe homes. It’s all about taking small pockets of time that can be used to create a joyous and happy atmosphere in a home and raise healthy, resilient children,” she says. “I want mothers to stop being car service dispatchers. I want them to go back to being—” Gelly pauses for emphasis—“mothers! To really know how to parent and to enjoy their role as mothers.” Filmed in August when Gelly had what she calls a “good month,” the Playful Parenting program, with its practical and easy-to-implement strategies, is currently being taken by many satisfied mothers. Since it’s available online, it reaches many who possibly wouldn’t have taken it as a telecourse. Interestingly, both frum and non-religious women are taking the course simultaneously, all of them enjoying the stories about the Skulener Rebbe and other gedolim. “My sister laughs when she listens to the classes. ‘You’re going from this rebbetzin to that rebbe, Gelly.’ But this is how I was raised and I bring my true authentic, heimish self to my parenting programs.” Gelly briefs me on the main points in her course. “If you have a positive focus, you will do an excellent job as a mother. You can learn the practical steps to become an amazing mother. And if you’re not an amazing mother right now, you can still be one in two minutes from now.” She brings an example her daughter’s high school teacher used to say: “If you yell all Friday morning, it doesn’t mean you need to yell all Friday afternoon!”

At first, Gelly wanted to hire someone to do the Yiddish telecourse recording since her dialect isn’t perfect, but family and friends pushed her to do it herself. “In deina verter (in your words),” they insisted. Her main message throughout the course? “As a mother you have so much power,” Gelly says. “It’s my battle cry! Our homes are the last line of defense in the increasingly chaotic world we live in these days. We can build playful, loving, nurturing homes infused with our Torah’dig hashkafos and give our children what they need to succeed now and for the future. It’s a mothers only insurance policy!” Parenting Game-Changer From the 19 honest and verified testimonials on Gelly’s hotline, there’s one that touches her the most, especially because she knows the woman. “A listener who has a large family—married kids included—was having a tough time with her youngest. From the age of four, the child never accepted a no. My hotline includes Gelly’s Game Line, with over fifty games to choose from, and mothers are taught how to redirect challenges with playing games in a way that nurtures a relationship with the kinderlach. I encourage mothers that if they’re stressed out with their parenting, they should pick up the phone, listen to instructions for a quick game, and go play.” Incredibly, through playing with her child and using the skills taught by Gelly, this listener’s relationship with her daughter improved dramatically, especially impacting the bedtime routine. “It

takes all of two or five minutes to play a game with your child to completely change your relationship with them over time. Pick up the phone, get a game, and play.” Another mother who had never enjoyed playing as a young child shares that through Gelly’s course, she finally learned what it means to be a mother, and to appreciate the berachah of time spent with her children. “On a Thursday afternoon, after the cleaning help left a sparkling house, instead of keeping everything in place, this young mother of four reinvented a game of supermarket with a lowered ironing board and supplies at hand. Her kids were beaming; their eyes were sparkling. She shared her victory in the Parenting Wins section of the course. Her win is my win, too,” Gelly says. Another woman reflects how her perspective toward parenting has changed: She now views every parenting opportunity as a chance to accumulate some parenting gold. Therapy is expensive, and for that reason, Gelly encourages potential clients to take her course as a first choice. “I’m here to help you if you need me. But start with the course and see how many—if not all—issues magically disappear with the power of love, connection, nurturing, and play.” As parents, we have so much parenting gold lying around. And if we’re smart, we’ll take advantage of these special opportunities to create loving, beautiful, happy, and healthy homes. Gelly Asovski can be contacted via Wellspring Magazine.

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MEDICAL SAGA

LIVING IN A SILENT WORLD I WANTED MY BABY TO HEAR THE HAPPY SOUNDS OF LIFE AROUND HIM AS TOLD TO ROIZY BAUM 80

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“Ten percent of kids born with skin tags have kidney or hearing issues,” the doctor announced in heavily accented English, pointing to a soft piece of hanging skin on my newborn baby’s face. I wasn’t paying much attention to the doctor’s grim statement. This being our first son, I was over the moon with joy. Plus, my mind was preoccupied with the name we were to give him. Of course, when I got home from the hospital, with four demanding daughters to tend to, the doctor’s words completely slipped my mind. With all the busyness, I kept thanking Hashem that Chaim was an angel of a baby. At six weeks, I took Chaim to the pediatrician for a well visit. Again, he noted the skin tag. “Were you told that this may be a sign of hearing loss?” he asked, peering into his tiny ears.

“They mentioned it in the hospital,” I assured him. “And? Did you have it checked out?” “No. I actually totally forgot about it.” The doctor then asked me a few questions. Does the baby get startled from loud sounds? Does he react when you call his name? Embarrassed, I couldn’t answer him. Life was so hectic, I was simply grateful that instead of the colicky babies I’d had until now, Chaim’l was a tzaddik. “Pay attention,” the doctor instructed gently. “And here’s a referral. Get his ears tested either way.” The first thing I did when I walked into the house was talk to Chaim. I started in a soft whisper, spoke a bit louder, then yelled, screamed, and hollered. The child did not react. He merely blinked. It hit me. I have a hearing-impaired child. This child can’t hear. He’s deaf.

A math textbook belonging to one of my girls was on the desk. I brought it down to the floor heavily. Chaim didn’t even blink. I wasn’t ready to give up so fast. I took out pots and pans and began clanging like a lunatic, momentarily forgetting that I don’t live by myself on an island. Chaim continued staring, peacefully unaware of the commotion around him. Next, I phoned “Chaim can’t hear.”

husband.

“What happened from one minute to the next?” he asked. “He never heard. Never. As in, the kid has not heard a peep since he was born.” I told him about my “experiments” and Chaim’s failure to respond. “Ask one of the neighbors,” my husband suggested. “Let them try. Sometimes mothers can be alarmists.”

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MEDICAL SAGA

And so began the Pass the Baby game as every neighbor tried to discern if Chaim was able to hear or not. Throughout the “experiment,” Chaim was extremely alert, following around the room with a smart look on his face, but he never turned around to a specific sound. I was now convinced the kid would easily miss the deafening rumbling of a volcanic eruption. For sure. Frantic, I began making phone calls to hearing specialists. “Within a few months, he’ll be okay,” many specialists reassured me. “He’s still so young. Fluid in a baby’s ears is normal.” Still, I felt he needed a proper hearing test to determine his true level of hearing. I called the first testing center on my list. “A test for a baby?” the secretary asked as I heard her click away. “The only appointment I have is in six months from now.” In Israel, up until age three months, hearing tests are done when the baby is asleep. Otherwise, the procedure requires anesthesia. I was not ready to put my baby under anesthesia for a hearing test. But the wait was forever. There were no appointments in sight. Many a specialist told me the issue would resolve on its own within five to seven months. But five to seven months meant about two hundred precious days during which intervention could otherwise take place. Because I was traveling to America for Pesach, I decided to see an audiologist there. The audiologist

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told me she’d do a regular newborn screening like the one performed in the hospital. First, though, she wanted to check for fluid in the ear. “If a baby has fluid,” she explained, “he will always fail the hearing test.” Chaim had fluid in both ears. “There’s no point in a hearing test,” the audiologist concluded. “Go to an ENT to check it out.” Indeed, we got an appointment through Chai Medical with a top ENT in Manhattan. The first visit was to check for permanent hearing loss. Fortunately, this did not seem to be the case, and Chaim did exhibit some hearing. Then the ENT recommended the ABR (Auditory Brainstem Response) test, a brainwave test that checks

how the hearing nerves and the brain respond to sounds. We got an appointment a week later for the diagnostic ABR test. It was a three-hour appointment because it is done while the baby sleeps and we needed to allow time for Chaim to fall asleep and then undergo the test. I was able to sit and hold Chaim during the test while two sensors on his forehead and one sensor behind each ear were hard at work. After two long hours, the doctor read the results. “He has moderately severe hearing loss in both ears at 500 HC. HC is a lower frequency sound. Normal tone.”

because anesthesia for a baby under one can cause seizures. But as a mother, intuition told me otherwise. “Hearing is basic for development. It’s critical for a child to hear in his first year, isn’t it?” One doctor countered, “He hears something. He’s not deaf. I don’t see this stunting his development.” Confused, I went to two other professionals. Both encouraged me to go ahead with the surgery. One wanted him to wait until he was at least six months. The other one was ready to perform it the next day. Instead of gaining clarity, every opinion I went for brought on more confusion. Until my husband sat down with me one night. “There’s something about a mother’s intuition, Raizy. What do you feel is the right thing?”

They advised me to talk to my doctor about how to proceed.

Now in my court, the ball of responsibility was heavy. Until then, our goal had been to do what was best for our child. Now that we had so many contradicting opinions, it was time to make a decision.

“When there’s so much fluid at such a young age, it normally drains on its own,” the doctor reminded me. “So it’s either tubes or temporary hearing aids.”

I looked at Chaim, sleeping peacefully in the bouncer next to me, and thought about his gaggle of sisters on top of him, all chatterboxes in their own right. Why should he not enjoy his first year like they did? Enjoy the lullabies on his toy mobile, be soothed by his mother’s voice, and get excited by the siren of an ambulance. Hearing is such an integral part of a child’s development, be it speech, intelligence, or social smarts. I couldn’t deny little Chaim of such a great privilege.

The two other doctors I consulted with for second (and third!) opinions both very strongly encouraged me not to proceed with the tube surgery

“We’ll get a berachah from the Rebbe,” I said resolutely. “And we’re doing it. The pros outweigh the cons.”

“I believe he needs tubes,” the doctor said. “We can try medication to dry up the fluid if you’d like.” But being that several of my kids had also needed tubes and adenoid removal, I knew it was futile to try the meds.

True, we were already well-versed in PE tubes and adenoidectomy, but we’d never had it performed on such a young child. With tefillos and arrangements, we prepared Chaim (and ourselves) for the procedure. Because it is performed under general anesthesia, Chaim needed to fast beforehand. He wasn’t the happiest camper, but the minute he was anesthetized, he was frighteningly out cold. The thought of such a tiny baby under anesthesia was terrifying. People imagine tubes to be as big as the oversized sensory straws kids play with these days, but the tube is roughly the size of a grain of rice. Using an operating microscope, a tiny incision is made in the eardrum, fluid is suctioned out, and tubes are inserted. Part two was removing the adenoids, which is done through the mouth. Finally, after thirty minutes, I exhaled. Surgery was over! The doctors told me it would take about two weeks to recover completely. It was clear that poor little Chaim was in pain. On the fifth day post-surgery his pain escalated, but from there it only improved. His little tongue, mouth, and throat were sore from the surgery so feeding him took longer. But in typical Chaim manner, he overrode his discomfort and smilingly prevailed. Thankfully, Chaim is now on the mend. Happy, smiling and gurgling, he turns his little head around when I enter the room and flashes me his trademark grin, dimpled and toothless. And when I coo, “Chaim, give me another one!” another one is quick in coming. Chaim is enjoying a new world.

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SERIAL DIARY

COMPASS s e rial diary by Dina Lieber with Libby Silberman

Chapter 10 November 2021 - April 2022

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Recap: The Liebers redesign their entire life around Lana’s needs, which consume them entirely. Eli and Dina each go through a period of anger and grieving.

write this final installment with a heavy heart. Eli and I had been so proud of the incredible work we’d done with Lana. We created a new lifestyle that centers around her needs, even as we went on to have three more children after her. I was sure I’d be sharing the high of victory: an integrated, almost-normal child. Was it all for naught? Around a half year ago, after years of working with individualized planning for Lana’s care, we decided to seek a new diagnosis from the doctor who gave us her initial diagnosis of severe autism and 40 percent cognition. She was performing beautifully at school and making us prouder every day. In the interim, she’d started walking, talking, running, asking for things, and expressing interest in the world around her. “Surely, she’s doing so much better and we’ll receive a diagnosis of near-normal,” Eli dreamed aloud after he booked our reassessment appointment with Dr. Chriki. “And who knows? Perhaps we can mainstream next year,” I waxed. “Okay, maybe with a shadow part time.” Ah, rosy dreams. We went for the eval, only to be flatly informed that Lana was nowhere near mainstream. In fact, she was given the exact same diagnosis we’d received when she was a baby. Drained from all our hard work, I was devastated. I placed an angry call to Mifne, the not-happy-I-wantmy-money-back kind. “Come on in and let’s see her for ourselves,” they said. We went. The staff was blown away at how well she was doing. “You can’t measure this progress with the standard DSM chart,” Hannah said. “Her progress is not about how many words she’s stringing together. Rather, it’s about the level of connection she’s displaying. This level of connection will ultimately breed life skills.” For then, we were placated. Next year, she could easily go to a regular school. Of course, she’d require the special ed classroom for part of the day, or perhaps a shadow. It would definitely be possible if she was doing so well. At that point, we were planning to move to Manchester to live near my family. Since such a move would cause tremendous upheaval in Lana’s life, we decided to move sooner rather than later so she could settle down in one school and remain there for all her schooling years. I applied to seven schools across the breadth of Manchester. Good schools that I’d be proud to say my daughter attended. Some were less religious than others

but would offer excellent auxiliary support services. Mild special needs, major progress observed, we wrote on the application forms. We were invited for interviews, and I scheduled all of them within three days. Off we flew from Ben Gurion, with high hopes and fanned spirits. Lana was going to be normal. Normal. Normal. A nightmarish three days ensued as we raced from school to school for our meetings. Lana was rejected from every single one at first glance. She was too special for all of them. I was done. Depleted. Angry. Frustrated. Depressed. I never signed up to having an autistic kid at the age of twenty. Not at twenty and not ever. Okay, Hashem, You gave me this child. Why won’t You let me succeed with her? I had continually poured in time, money, effort, and love into my daughter, and I felt so frustrated at our seeming lack of progress. A couple of months ago, while we were in Manchester for Pesach, we made the difficult decision to apply to Psiyot, a school geared especially for autistic children. It was going to be the final stamp on Lana’s record. How super awesome, I thought bitterly. We met the staff and they met Lana. A phone call followed later in the day. “We’re sorry but Lana’s cognitive levels are too low. We don’t have place for her in Psiyot.” This installment finds me knocked to the ground, too afraid to look up into the future. I thought I’d already thrown up my hands to Hashem’s will multiple times, but still, it seems I haven’t yet surrendered fully. We have a five-year-old child who’s barely toilet-trained, with ADHD, major cognitive delays, and severe autism. We’ve been to Mifne for a month and tried a host of other therapists and magicians, ripped out the foundations of our life and reconstructed them to help Lana thrive. We’ve seen improvement, but still, we’re up to not much at all. Slowly, I’m learning to relinquish control, give up my own dreams, and go with Hashem’s plans. I am growing humble. I am discovering my true role as a parent. I must do, do, and do. Outcomes are not in my hands. It’s not even my job to make sure Lana turns out okay. Any of my children, for that matter. Finally, I am learning that our compass hadn’t been pointing toward independence, normalcy, or function all along. I must acknowledge that we’ve been guided toward Hashem’s will, and His will only. We’re going with it. We have no choice, and I’m working on making it our choice.

The end WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5782

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DIY

c i h t a p o Home f e i l e R y g r e l l A By Miriam Schweid Seasonal allergies may respond well to over-the-counter medications such as Claritin or Zyrtec. But if medication isn’t effective in providing relief, or if you’d like to try a natural solution first, here’s a great combination of homeopathic drops that is both safe and effective. All components can be found in health food stores.

10 drops pulsatilla (for itching eyes)

Combine in a 1-ounce bottle. Shake well.

10 drops allium cepa (for runny eyes and nose)

Administer 3 sprays or drops under the tongue 3 times a day.

15 drops histaminum (for allergy)

Note: Homeopathic remedies should not be taken with food.

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5782

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PERFECT

FIT!

NOT CHILD'S PLAY HOW WE TURN DOWN A CHILD'S REQUEST REALLY MATTERS

REWRITE YOUR STORY FROM DESPAIR TO HOPE

EMOTIONAL EATING

By Shira Savit

Time to Change the Story What are you telling yourself?

Tova walked into our session with a frustrated look on her face. “I can’t deal with this anymore. I just can’t. It’s too much. It’s so draining. All the ups and downs with my eating. I’m so embarrassed. Will I ever actually change?” Changing our relationship with food, I told her, starts with changing our story. We all have stories we tell ourselves throughout the day. Stories about ourselves, our worth, our self-control. Stories about our body image. Usually when we struggle with our eating, our stories are self-limiting and replete with disempowering messages. With a bit of awareness, it becomes relatively simple to no90

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tice themes in our stories. For example, some of us live in the storybook called Black and White Thinking. In this narrative, it’s all or nothing; a diet or a cheat. “I blew it already, so there’s no point in even trying more today. The diet will start tomorrow.” The black and white storyline controls the day: “When I eat good, it’s a good day. When I eat bad things, it’s a bad day. When I have bad days, I feel miserable.”

of her disempowering beliefs, she exclaimed, “Wow, I really am so full of negativity!” “Tova,” I said to her, “that’s a story. Let’s change it.”

Another common storybook is Self-Condemnation. When our author is the self-critic, everything we do is tainted with negativity. “I can’t believe I ate all those cookies. I’m such an idiot.” Similarly, “It’s so pathetic that I can’t go through one whole Shabbos without overeating.” “If people actually knew how much I ate, they would be horrified.” “I have serious self-control issues.”

For example, we can rewrite a black and white story and call our new book It Can Be Gray. Some new chapters might include, “I can overeat and still make good choices today,” “My eating doesn’t define my worth,” or “I can have victories as well as challenges with my eating. They can coexist.”

The story of Despair is also highly popular. This script insists that there’s no hope for us; we’re defeated before we even try. “I’ll never keep the weight off.” “The diet never lasts.” “I’m truly a nebach case.” This story keeps us feeling weak and discouraged.

Like any habit we seek to change, we can’t simply eliminate it without replacing it with something else. When it comes to changing our story, the most important point is that we are the author of our new story. We get to write the script; we decide how we want it to sound.

The story of Despair is also highly popular. This script insists that there’s no hope for us; we’re defeated before we even try.

There are endless varieties of stories—stories about shame, about rejection; stories that tell us that feelings are dangerous; stories that say we are unlovable until we lose weight. These themes are created through the combined influence of upbringing, friends, society, diet culture, and personal life experiences. The way we think about food, our beliefs about ourselves, and our judgments and attitudes all drive the content of our stories.

Tova and I began to explore her story, to learn about the influences she had in her life that have shaped her story, and to get to know the characters, the plot, and the players involved. As we approached these questions with curiosity, Tova realized that her mother’s critical voice, the bullying she experienced in middle school, and the endless years of diets offering false hope all contributed to her self-doubt and insecurities. Thoughts like, “I don’t trust myself around food,” “I’m not good enough,” and “I’m ashamed of myself” formed the foundation of her story. As we uncovered more

The self-condemnation story can become the Book of Compassion and Love. “I am human,” “It’s okay to eat more than I wanted to. I’m trying my best,” “I truly and deeply love and accept myself. I will be gentle with myself. I have inner strength.” The despair story might become Hope. Belief. Perseverance. Its content might include, “I am learning. I am healing. This is a process,” “I can do this,” “One day at a time,” “I got this.”

Tova thought about the idea of rewriting her story and admitted that although she agreed it was a very positive approach, she did not find it to be realistic. “There is no way I’m writing that new story and actually living it. My negative thoughts are so ingrained in me. It ain’t happening.” So I asked her, “What about writing the first word in your new story? Not the whole story. Not yet living the new story. Just taking out a metaphorical pen and jotting down one word in the story you would like to create.” She thought for a minute and said, “I guess I can start just with one word.” I encouraged her to take her time deciding what the word would be. Tova was quiet for some time, then picked her head up, looked at me and said, “Okay, it’s two words. I can.”

Shira Savit, MA, MHC, INHC, is a mental health counselor with multiple certifications in nutrition and health. She specializes in weight loss, emotional eating, and binge eating. Shira incorporates both nutritional and emotional components in helping her clients reach their goals. Shira has a private practice in Yerushalayim and works with women in any location via phone call or video sessions.

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5782

OMING NEXT MONTH - COMING NEXT MONTH - COMING

YOUR SPENDING HABITS AND YOU WHAT THE WAY YOU USE YOUR MONEY SAYS ABOUT YOUR WELLBEING

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

NEXT MONTH - COMING NEXT MONTH - COMING NEXT M

A lavish simchah. Camp for the kids. Hand-me-downs. Public transportation. Cleaning help. Renovations. Savings. Some call it frugal, others stingy. Some call it generous, others reckless. What one individual views as fiscally responsible another dismisses as obsessive. The way we choose to spend our money--or save it-- is a fascinating indicator regarding our inner world.

To participate in an interesting survey on spending habits, please write to info@wellspringmagazine.com, with Spending Habits in the subject line.

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5782

INNER PARENTING

Not Child’s Play Our reaction to our children’s requests can be a deal-breaker in our parenting By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

With summer approaching, our children will be having more free time on their hands to pursue various forms of entertainment. One child can spend hours playing in the sand or with a simple ball, while others may choose to hone their creativity by building with wood or exploring the outdoors. Yet others may request more up-and-coming gadgets with which to occupy their time. The gamut of activities is wide, and how we 94

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

react to our children’s choices plays a significant role in our parent-child relationship, as well as in their emotional development. The response we offer right now impacts not only the present, but also the far-off future. Of course, when a child occupies himself in a way that sits well with us, all is well for all parties involved. The opportunity for us to tap into our wisdom as parents comes up when that is not the case. It arises

when our children express interest in an object or pastime that we dismiss as inappropriate. (“Inappropriate” in this case does not refer to pursuits that are against halachah.) There can be many reasons why we would dismiss a child’s interests – whether it’s not affordable, socially acceptable, against our standards, or we view it as immature or time-wasting. For example, a parent may feel that a certain toy or gad-

Deepening the Work What does “doesn’t sit well with me” really mean?

get is too frivolous for their child. The parent may believe that his child “can do better” in choosing a way to entertain himself. It goes without saying that an angry, straight-up “no,” or ridiculing the child for expressing his desire is obviously damaging. But what usually happens in such cases is that when said child approaches the parent with his request, the parent counters it with logical arguments. “What do you need this for?” “But you’re way more mature than that!” “What will you accomplish with this?” A heated dialogue then ensues regarding the pros and cons of the now contentious object or pastime. Listen to What I’m Really Saying Although the parent may be well-meaning, entering a logical argument with a child regarding an innocent request they’ve made is entering dangerous territory. Why so? As much as the child may appear underdeveloped in cognition, they actually possess a fully developed emotional capacity. They may be expressing a want, but they’re essentially communicating a need—a need to be heard and understood. Therefore, when what feels important to them is denigrated or even just passed off as silly or unimportant, they feel hurt and misunderstood. As adults, we know what it means to want something. We know that when we’ve set our heart on a pursuit, regardless of how petty it may ap-

pear to others, we want nothing other than that. We’re sold on it. And when that happens, the last thing we want is to be persuaded to back off from the idea. If someone were to attempt to do that, we wouldn’t feel very positively toward them. Their pushing back at our expressed desire evokes in us the place that doesn’t feel heard, and that’s painful—especially coming from someone from whom we expect to feel loved and understood. So when a child approaches us with a request, or exhibits a liking of a particular outlet that we’ve deemed inappropriate, countering them with logical arguments may be very damaging. It not only conveys that their wants aren’t important, but it subconsciously communicates to the child that he can’t trust himself. At a time in his life when he’s forming lifelong perceptions of himself, he’s learning that “What I want is immature,” “What I thought is my favorite activity is not okay, so I can’t be the one to choose my favorite activity.” “I’m silly for wanting this.” “My needs don’t make sense.” Sadly, it’s reactions like these that lead children to distance themselves from their true desires. With time, they learn to operate as robots, having lost touch with what truly resonated with them, what truly brought them to life. Interestingly enough, although a parent may choose to deny a child’s request for a particular outlet or pastime, the child’s desire for it will still linger on deep

Since this is the “inner parenting” column, let’s talk about the other dimension in parenting, which, as we’ve touched upon many times in the past, cannot be overlooked. It’s the “inner” facet in the relationship, the part that requires us to look inward especially when we’re tempted to make it about the child and his wants. At the core, this is about us and how we’re feeling. When my child expresses his desire for a particular thing, or is just communicating his fantasies, how do I feel? What does it bring up for me? We’re very quick to make logic of why we don’t allow certain things, chalking up our argument to rational reasons, possibly even hashkafic reservations, but getting to the truth of the matter takes us miles further in strengthening our relationship with ourselves and our child. Is my feeling that I’m a failure as a parent being highlighted? Or is it the feeling that I’m not good enough? Not frum enough? Can it be that my own needs weren’t heard in my own childhood and so I’ve made myself “comfortable” in the place of erasing needs? Do I feel a sense of control just by saying no? Am I afraid of what others will say? Are my insecurities getting in the way of filling my child’s needs? Serious introspection of what is being triggered when a child communicates his desires can go a long way in not only helping us understand ourselves, but also in helping us understand our child and addressing his own needs with compassion and love.

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5782

INNER PARENTING

inside of him. He may not currently have access to what he expressed interest in, but the desire for it will still very much be there. As outlandish as it sounds, for years after, the child will harbor a desire to play that game or ride that kind of bike, even beyond their childhood years. For many people, the yearning for that outlet only intensifies with time. What You Wanted at Age Six In fact, the great mechanech Rav Shlomo Wolbe zt”l taught that if one wants to get to know himself really well, he should try to remind himself what he really loved doing as a child, as young as the age of six. The further back he can go in time to when his desires were still pure, still emanating from within, the more he will be able to connect to his true self. Later on, most of us learn to engage in what we perceive as right or “appropriate,” but that may not necessarily be what makes us feel truly alive. Only when we operate from the place that’s really us can we find chiyus in everything else we do in life, including our avodas Hashem. Legos for Grownups On a recent trip to the States, an old neighbor asked me if I could take an important package for her newly married son who is currently living in Eretz Yisrael. I agreed, and when I checked the bags, I saw that she had given me a box of Lego blocks. Upon my arrival to Eretz Yisrael, I contacted the yungerman to come pick up his package and he came over immediately. When he eagerly took the package from me, he said, “I know you’re in chinuch and I want to share something with you. As a child, I was an ilui. I had a strong head for learning, and this had always been my 96

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identity. I was expected to learn at every given moment, and ‘just’ playing was deemed as too childish for me. But lemeisah, I was a kid, I have a whole other dimension that wasn’t acknowledged. I wanted to play, just ‘chill,’ something that was an unwritten no-no for me.”

As this young man grew into adulthood, he experienced bouts of heavy sadness. Desperate for an outlet, he found himself playing with little blocks one day. As this young man grew into adulthood, he experienced bouts of heavy sadness. Desperate for an outlet, he found himself playing with little blocks one day. Since then, he started dabbling in this childhood-associated activity, giving himself what he’d been lacking. “Whenever my mother has an opportunity to send me a package,” this mature, brilliant yungerman confided, “she sends me some more pieces for my collection.” What a powerful lesson. A parent can take the toy away from the child, but not the child away from the toy. Not only should a child be allowed to

be a child, but parents should actively encourage their children to engage in that what makes them feel alive. When The Answer is No As parents, we do not always have to give in to every request a child makes. (We actually shouldn’t!) But, the way we relate to that request speaks volumes regarding our acceptance of the child. It’s at times like these that we’re granted an opportunity to impact the child’s emotional world in a profound way. When a child’s requests are met with an automatic counter-argument, something in the child’s inner world shuts down. And at the same time that he learns to doubt himself and his desires, the wanting for that item not only persists, but it intensifies. What was once a “would be nice for me to have it,” becomes an “I must have this at all costs!” item. I’ve spoken to more than a few now-grown men who still wish to play certain games or ride certain vehicles that were written off as inappropriate in their childhood—simply because they felt unheard or misunderstood. Without them even realizing, what they may be desiring at this point is not necessarily that specific pursuit, only to fill a need to be heard and understood. What To Do? So what should a parent do when a child expresses a request or desire? Whether a child asks for something more bizarre, like a motorcycle, or for something that the parents feel is not socially acceptable, safe, or even something they can’t afford—whatever the case may be, the first step is to engage in a warm, understanding conversation with the child. Not a

confrontational argument, only a conversation. What do you like about this thing? Which color? What type? Talk. Talk about their dream toy, about what lies beneath the desire, who has it, where they saw it, what excites them about it. Obviously, the point is not to give in to every request. Rather, the point is to be machshiv every desire, to give it its place, to communicate that it matters. To convey to a child that he shouldn’t be wanting certain things not only doesn’t make the desire go away, but also feeds upon the child’s self-doubts, harming his confidence and his ability to trust himself. This will either shut him off from all his wants, or drive him to fill all of them as soon as he’s “on his own.” On the contrary, by listening to a child, by really meeting him where he’s at, letting him know that we understand him for wanting it, but that we cannot fulfill the request right now, we’re giving the child an incredible gift: We’re teaching him what it means to establish boundaries. Yes, I want this very much, it matters to me and I’m allowed to want it, but right now, this isn’t the right thing for me. We’re giving him the tools to draw his own lines later in life, not by erasing himself and ignoring his needs, but by giving them a place and still choosing to do what is right. Interestingly, what often happens when we value a child’s request is that the desire dissipates over time. Kids are kids; they want one thing one day and another thing the other. Every time we give their wishes a place, we’re giving them what they really want—validation, space, weight. With that, we’ve given them everything. *All details have been changed to maintain confidentiality.

Rabbi Ezra Friedman coaches bachurim and men in their quest toward leading a meaningful life with inner peace and contentment. Through a Torah and Chassidus perspective, he guides individuals to understand and connect to themselves and to their inner emotional world. He lives with his family in Yerushalayim.

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5782

WELLBEING FEATURE

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2022

FOOD YOU LOVE: THE COOKBOOK WELLSPRING READERS WILL APPRECIATE

JUNE 2022 / SIVAN 5782 / ISSUE 77

The Perfect Smoothie FUEL FOR YOUR BUSY DAYS AHEAD

STOCK YOUR FREEZER 6 top picks CULINARY TOOLBOX WITH THE AIR FRYER, YOU'RE TEN MINUTES AWAY FROM YOUR FAVORITE DINNER

119 SWAP By Yossi & Malky Levine

122 Stock Your Freezer By Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

103 Up and Running By Yossi & Malky Levine

109 Air Fryer By Charnie Kohn

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Food You Love By Elisheva Herzog

Trip Time! Wellspring Contributors

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EDITOR'S NOTE

Dear Cooks,

Here’s what happened at last year’s Shavuos meal that we hosted in our home. Two of the guests offered to make something, and as I’d already planned my basic menu, I suggested they bring a salad. Both of them were happy to do so, and I went ahead with the prep on my end. When our guests arrived, they each unwrapped their bowls and placed them on the table, only to find out that the other had made a pretty similar dish. So, in addition to the cooked sides and mains, we all enjoyed lots and lots of broccoli salad, one with more lettuce and the other with more cranberries. After all those cheesecakes, a bit more broccoli couldn’t hurt, right? Great cooks think alike, we said.

PINCH OF HEALTH

Great cooks think alike, all right. That’s what came to mind when we reviewed the content for this issue’s Seasoned. Both Charnie and the Levines opted to experiment with chickpeas this month, using two

different cooking methods. (If you’re wondering, we do usually discuss ideas beforehand in order to avoid overlap, but in this case one of the contributors had to change their recipe in the last minute.) Both look delicious, one with more crunch and the other with a softer flesh, and like all chickpeas, they’re equally packed with protein. Whatever texture and prep method you go for, we’ve got you covered! Speaking of chickpeas, they’re a great take-along food that works well for when you want to pack up an “on-the-go” salad. That’s the topic in this issue’s My Table—now that summer’s moving in on us and we can start enjoying our meals outdoors. Whether on the park bench or at a picnic, it’s one easy-to-prepare protein that promotes satiety and adds great flavor to any salad. Happy pre-summer prepping,

Esther

With watermelon season up ahead, here are tips to look out for when shopping for those refreshing summertime orbs. Look out for a nice-sized yellow or whitish spot, which indicates a well-ripened watermelon in the sun. Press on the watermelon to see if it gives somewhat. If it’s too hard, it’s probably not ripe at all. You want a watermelon that gives somewhat, and one that sounds hollow when you knock on it. That’s an indicator it’s filled with water, making it a sweet, ripe, and juicy piece. Have a healthy cooking tip to share with the Wellspring community? Please send it to info@wellspringmagazine.com.

BEAT THE HEAT

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Up and Running Ahhh… it’s summertime again! The school year is coming to an end and we’re looking forward to warm, sun-drenched days and quality family time. But before we hit those relaxing, carefree days, there are still endless shopping and to-do lists to make our way through— especially if you’re sending kids off to summer camp. This is definitely a time when you’ll be using all the energy you have and then some. You may not have time to sit down to a proper meal, so here are some filling breakfast (or anytime) drinks that will keep you satisfied and energized for your day. Best of luck, Yossi and Malky

Recipes, Styling, and Photography by Yossi & Malky Levine

UP AND RUNNING

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Summer Berry Yogurt Parfait Is it breakfast? Is it dessert? We’ll let you decide! Layered with yogurt and granola, you'll love this easy recipe for a filling snack or healthy breakfast treat.

1 cup frozen blueberries 1 cup orange juice vanilla or plain Greek yogurt granola fresh blueberries, for topping

Blend blueberries and orange juice until smooth. Add ¼ cup of the blended fruit to each drinking glass, then fill with yogurt, dropping in some granola as you fill it up. Top with fresh blueberries and some more granola. Yield: 4 servings

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UP AND RUNNING

Strawberry Chia Smoothie Serve up this beauty for any occasion or enjoy it as a refreshing and energy-boosting breakfast treat. Don’t be deceived by the looks of this drink — it’s super simple to create! You can prep the components ahead of time and then assemble them right before serving.

Chia Pudding

Smoothie

1 cup almond milk or milk

1½ cups frozen strawberries

4 Tbsp chia seeds

1½ cups vanilla Greek yogurt

2 Tbsp maple syrup

½ cup milk

Fruit 1 cup frozen strawberries, thawed and mashed 1 Tbsp honey or maple syrup 1 tsp lemon juice

Prepare chia pudding: Place ingredients in a jar and shake well. Let settle for 2–3 minutes, then mix again until all clumps disappear. Cover jar and store in the fridge overnight or for at least 2 hours. Prepare fruit layer: Mix all ingredients to combine. Spoon a layer of fruit into each cup and place in the freezer to set a bit while you prepare the smoothie. Prepare smoothie: Blend all ingredients until smooth and creamy. Add a layer of chia pudding to each cup on top of the fruit layer, then fill the rest of the cup with the smoothie. Enjoy right away, refrigerate overnight, or freeze and thaw to use at a later time. Yield: 4 servings

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Rum & Banoffee creamy liqueur is our latest creation, mixed with our special blend of high quality rum, spirits, banana and toffee flavours, then blended into our unique none dairy base is just perfect for mixed cocktails and long cool drinks. Walder’s now have the perfect choice of three sophisticated liqueurs which are infused with unique blends of quality, taste and mixability to suit your mood.

• Scotch & Coffee • Vodka & Vanilla

For further information: www.walders.net Email: info@walders.net 108

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AIR FRYER

TOOL OF THE MONTH

CULINARY TOOLBOX Although I’ve known about air fryers for a while, the first time I ever used one was to research and experiment for this article. Now that I’ve finally tried it, I know it won’t be my last time!

So what are the merits of this gadget? First off, it’s a great machine for the health-minded among us. The air fryer works by circulating hot air inside the gadget. Thus, one tablespoon of oil in an air fryer substitutes for multiple cups of oil in a deep fryer, so your food can have all the crispiness sans the grease. Air frying is also a lot safer and cleaner than traditional frying. If you’ve ever gotten a pop of hot oil splash in your face, you know how painful that can be. The air fryer fries the food while being contained and mess-free. With an air fryer, you can prepare tasty, healthful meals in no time.

All air fryers accomplish basically the same thing. Some machines may be stronger or faster than others, but the size is the main feature to look out for when choosing which one to buy. Many air fryer baskets are very small and are thus insufficient if you’re serving more than two people. If you’re cooking for a family, make sure your air fryer is between four and eight quarts.

Prices for the gadget vary from company to company, but you can get a great piece for under a hundred dollars. Happy cooking,

Charnie Recipes, Styling, and Photography by Charnie Kohn WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5782

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CHICKPEA SWEET POTATO BOATS

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These boats make for a perfectly balanced lunch or side dish. Using an air fryer to bake the potatoes cuts the cooking time in half!

2 small sweet potatoes 1 tsp olive oil 1 can chickpeas 2 Tbsp tahini 1 tsp smoked paprika 1 tsp garlic powder 1 tsp paprika 1 tsp kosher salt ¼ tsp black pepper

Coat sweet potatoes with a bit of oil and use a fork to pierce holes through the skin. Place in air fryer and bake for 30 minutes at 400°F. Place chickpeas and rest of ingredients in a bowl and toss until chickpeas are fully coated in sauce. Remove sweet potatoes from air fryer and cut a slit through the center. Mash a bit of the flesh and create a well in the sweet potatoes. Stuff with chickpeas and air fry for an additional five minutes.

“FRIED” SHAWARMA WINGS

CULINARY TOOLBOX

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These wings have all the flavor while also being lower in carbs and saturated fat than the traditional breaded and fried chicken wings. I couldn’t take the photos fast enough before my two-year-old helped herself to some straight from the set!

10–20 chicken wings 1½ cups almond flour 1 Tbsp chopped parsley 1 Tbsp shawarma seasoning 1 Tbsp paprika 1 tsp garlic powder 1 tsp chili powder 1 tsp kosher salt ¼ tsp crushed red pepper flakes ¼ tsp black pepper

Place almond flour and all seasonings in a large bowl. Mix well until completely incorporated. Add wings to bowl and toss until all wings are fully coated with flour mixture. Pop wings into air fryer and lightly spray with oil. Fry for 10 minutes at 400°F. Flip and fry for an additional 12 minutes. Serve immediately.

FOOD YOU LOVE

d o Fo u o Y e v o L

how shows us ting , C H C , g isber nd ea Rorie We licious cooking a mily ire fa nd de doable a n be—for the ent a healthy c a Herzog by Elishev

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Take It Slow Rorie’s top tip? Stress compromises all good lifestyle habits. As hard as you work on your health habits, if you take it so fast and furious that it stresses you out, the stress hormone cortisol will actually negate your efforts. Make the changes one at a time and in a way that doesn’t induce stress—so you can enjoy the full-fledged benefits in a way that lasts.

Rorie Weisberg, CHC, is on a mission to make healthy food more accessible, delicious, and just plain normal in the world of kosher. Rorie’s earned a household name across the kosher spectrum through her work as a one-on-one health coach, lecturer, recipe developer, health columnist, and producer of a specialty food line. It all comes together under the umbrella of “Full ‘N Free” – the name of her company and the words that encapsulate everything it stands for. Rorie’s dream is for everyone to be able to enjoy the healthy lifestyle that makes them feel their best. “I want to help all of us feel full – balanced, energetic, and satisfied with the foods we’re eating. And free – of the ingredients that don’t support our health, and of the mindsets and symptoms that weighed us down,” she explains. A huge part of that missive is putting the fun and flavor back into healthy kosher cooking. Most recently and most remarkably, Rorie has produced a splendid cookbook, aptly named Food You Love That Loves You Back, featuring recipes that teach you the secrets of making classic yummy foods using whole, good-for-you ingredients. “People are in awe at how much good food – and very normal food! – they can make in a way that loves them back,” Rorie says. In her work as a health coach, Rorie has always aimed to meet people at the place they’re at, rather than as-

sume a rigid one-sized approach for all. “Every person is different,” she says, “and every food gives the body different instructions on how to react to it.” Her cookbook maintains that same attitude, offering different options for flours, sweeteners, and levels of sweetness, plus allergy-friendly variations of many recipes. Like many awesome accomplishments, Food You Love only came about as a consequence of Rorie’s personal journey. Twelve years ago, after her daughter was born, Rorie experienced challenging symptoms pointing at postpartum thyroiditis. . Medicine had little to offer, and her doctor suggested waiting it out. When waiting got her nowhere closer to relief, Rorie “turned to Dr. Google,” as she says laughingly, and started researching alternative cures. She was astounded to learn that what she ate actually mattered—and it mattered big time. Different foods give the body different instructions, she discovered. Going full force with putting what she learned into practice would mean changing her diet 180 degrees. “I was totally overwhelmed at the idea of revamping my lifestyle,” she shares, “but I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I decided to choose the new hard over the old hard.” Eating just chicken, sweet potatoes, and green beans might have been the bane of her existence – if

not for her kids. “I didn’t want to have to cook two separate dinners every night,” she says, “but my kids still wanted to enjoy the same foods we always used to.” She started experimenting with this and that, learning a new and improved set of ropes in the kitchen. The trial and error seemed never-ending. But after the amazing improvement she had already experienced in her symptoms, Rorie was determined to embrace her new lifestyle head-on. She wouldn’t stop until she’d reinvented her family’s favorites in a way they all could enjoy together. Inspired by the changes in her own life, Rorie set out to get certified as a health coach – and that’s when she combined her knowledge, experience, lots of recipes, and passion to help others meet their own health goals. It’s now years and many accomplishments later, and the time came to share much of it in a book that will transform the way thousands cook, eat, and think about food in general. “Food You Love is so much more than just a cookbook,” says Rorie. “It’s a roadmap, packed with the information, recipe planners, shopping lists, and of course, hundreds of recipes I wish I would have had when I was just starting out.” Above all, it’s a testament to the journey she’s so grateful to have made and that has brought so much joy and vibrance into her life.

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FOOD YOU LOVE

Chicken Lo Mein This is an awesome takeout fakeout! Finally, a healthy version of Chinese chicken lo mein, made with really wholesome ingredients. Another quickand-easy filling and flavorful dinner option. Swap out the spaghetti squash for any kind of pasta you like, such as soba, chickpea, or gluten free. 1½ lb chicken cutlets, cut into small chunks ½ Tbsp olive oil 1 small onion, cut into thin half-moons 6 oz sliced shiitake mushrooms (or mushrooms of choice) 2 cloves garlic, pressed ¼-inch fresh ginger, grated 2 Tbsp sesame oil 4 Tbsp coconut aminos 2 Tbsp orange juice 1 Tbsp rice vinegar 1–2 tsp sea salt, to taste 2–3 cups fresh spinach leaves 2 cups cooked and strung spaghetti squash 2 Tbsp two-toned sesame seeds ¼ cup sliced scallions, for garnish

In a large skillet, heat olive oil; add onions; sauté over medium to low heat until soft and golden. Add mushrooms; sauté for about 5 minutes. Add garlic and ginger; sauté until fragrant. Add chicken and sesame oil; stir to combine with sautéed veggies. Add coconut aminos, orange juice, salt, and pepper. Cook, uncovered, for 8–10 minutes over medium to high heat, stirring every few minutes. Stir in spinach, cooking for 2 minutes just until the spinach begins to wilt. Add strung squash; stir to combine. Garnish with sesame seeds and scallions.

The Missing Words The words “diet” or “weight loss” don’t appear once throughout the entire Food You Love! As Rorie says, “It’s not about losing weight; it’s about gaining health.”

Rorie’s Bottom Line That would have to be her Full ‘N Free primary concept of bioindividuality. Different things work for different people. Your job is to get to know your unique self and what works for you. What makes your body happy? “My deepest hope,” she says, “is that readers use this book in the way that works for them, the way that lets them feel happier and healthier every day.”

Recipes excerpted from Food You Love by Rorie Weisberg, CHC, with permission from Artscroll Publishers

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Rainbow Feta Salad The flavor in this salad is even more spectacular and unique than the colors and presentation. Because it’s so special, I often serve it without the cheese as a side salad for Shabbos day lunch or even as an appetizer salad on Friday night, with the 4-minute fish cubes on top. This salad is another example of how to make a dairy salad into a macro meal. 8 cups pre-checked arugula 1 (6-oz) box sliced portobello mushrooms 4 oz shiitake mushrooms 1½ Tbsp olive oil ½ tsp sea salt 2 medium watermelon radishes ¼-1/3 cup unsalted pistachio nuts 6 oz crumbled feta cheese (Omit for pareve option.) ¾-1 cup pomegranate seeds ¼-1/3 cup Lemon Dijon Mustard Dressing (see below), to taste

For a beautiful presentation, as pictured, place the radishes on a plate, then, in a large bowl, combine all the ingredients except cheese. Dress and toss the salad, place it over the radishes, and top with crumbled cheese.

1. Preheat oven to 425°F. Set out a baking sheet. 2. Place sliced portobella mushrooms on prepared baking sheet. Toss with 1 tablespoon olive oil and ¼ teaspoon salt. Roast, uncovered, for about 20 minutes, or until mushrooms are crisp. Set aside. 3. In a frying pan, heat ½ tablespoon oil. Add shiitake mushrooms; sprinkle with ¼ teaspoon salt. Sauté shiitake mushrooms until tender, 4-5 minutes Set aside. 4. Using a mandolin, cut radishes into thin rounds. 5. Place arugula into a large serving bowl. Add radishes, roasted and sautéed mushrooms, and crumbled feta. Top with pomegranate seeds. Toss with dressing, to taste.

Lemon Dijon Dressing Yields about 2 cups 2 cloves garlic juice of 1 lemon 2 Tbsp red wine vinegar 1 heaping Tbsp Dijon mustard 2 tsp sea salt pinch thyme 1 cup avocado oil ½ cup olive oil

Number One Lifestyle Change The first lifestyle change Rorie suggests has nothing to do with the kitchen. Uh huh, get some more zzzz’s! “Sleep is one factor that changes everything,” she says.

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FOOD YOU LOVE

Pulled Sticky Silan Brisket in Pan Juices This delicious, naturally sweetened pulled brisket is a real crowd pleaser. Its versatile, goes-on-anything flavor profile elevates so many dishes. Try it over mashed potatoes, brown rice, zoodles, or spaghetti squash, stuffed into a sweet potato or baked potato, in a bun, or even to top a latke on Chanukah! It freezes beautifully, and leftovers repurpose so well. 4 lb second cut brisket (This recipe can also be used on short ribs or flanken, which will be meltin-your-mouth, falling-offthe-bone tender!) 1 Tbsp kosher salt 1 tsp black pepper 2 Tbsp olive oil 2 onions, thinly sliced 6 cloves garlic, crushed ½ cup silan ½ cup red wine 1 cup chicken broth

1. Season brisket with salt and pepper; massage seasoning into meat. 2. Preheat oven to 300°F. 3. Heat a Dutch oven or large skillet until piping hot. Add oil; sear meat on each side for about 5 minutes or until a golden crust forms. Transfer meat to a platter; set aside. 4. Add onions to the pan. Flash-sauté onions while scraping up any meaty bits from the bottom of the pan. 5. When onions are translucent, add garlic; cook for about 1 minute, just until fragrant. Return meat to the Dutch oven along with any pan juices that have accumulated on the platter. If not using a Dutch oven, transfer the meat and onions to an oven-proof roaster or aluminum pan. 6. In a bowl, whisk together silan, wine, and broth. Pour over meat; cover tightly. Bake for 6 hours or until meat can be pierced with a fork with no resistance. 7. Remove from oven. While the roast is still hot, pull the meat with two forks. Gently mix pulled meat with onions and pan juices.

Easy The first change you can easily implement in your kitchen is changing up refined oils to natural oils such as coconut, avocado, and olive oil. The changes are hardly discernible, and the health benefits are huge, including reducing inflammation, restoring hormonal balance, and more. How much easier can health get?

Rorie’s Freezer Contains… Sourdough challah, grain-free banana nut muffins, and… pizza bagels. Part of Rorie’s evolution as a health coach mom included learning that normal takes first place. “At the end of the day, our kids are their own people,” she says. “Revamping ingredients, offering options, that’s all important—but the most important of all, in the long run, is to just be the mother they need. One day, that foundation will help them make the choices that are best for them.”

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SWA P

By Yossi & Malky Levine

Bread Croutons

Crunchy Roasted Veggies and/or Crispy Chickpeas

Salad seems like the healthy choice — until we start piling on the caloric toppings, including croutons and dressing. We’ve shared some healthier dressing options in the past, but what about those little crunchy bread cubes? When it comes to crunch and flavor, it’s time to go beyond toasted bread. You don’t necessarily need a stand-in for bread, just an exciting, nutritious add-on. Roasted vegetable cubes and crispy chickpeas can be easily made at home and are definitely a worthy salad or soup topper. You’ll get the nutritional benefits of a vegetable with the crunch of a crouton! Of course, feel free to tweak these recipes to suit your personal taste.

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SWAP

Veggie Croutons 1 clove garlic, finely minced 1 Tbsp olive oil ½ tsp salt 1 sweet potato, cut to ½-inch cubes 1 eggplant, cut into small cubes Preheat oven to 400°F. Whisk minced garlic, olive oil, and salt in a bowl. Toss vegetables in the garlic oil. Spread on a lined baking sheet, making sure to space out the vegetables. (If they’re too crowded, they’ll steam instead of getting crunchy.) Roast for 15 minutes. Toss. Continue to roast, tossing every 3–5 minutes until edges are golden and toasty.

Crispy Chickpeas can of chickpeas olive oil spices, as desired

Preheat oven to 400°F. Drain, rinse, and dry canned chickpeas. Toss them with some olive oil and your favorite spices (we did salt, paprika, and cayenne pepper). Spread them evenly on a lined baking sheet and roast for about 30 minutes, until crispy. Cool completely before storing. Chickpeas will stay crisp in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to one week.

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TIDBITS

By Esti As, her MS, RDN, LD

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With warmer weather and summer approaching, we may find ourselves transitioning into a different schedule with more time outdoors or out of the home and less time in the kitchen. Now is an excellent time to stock your freezer, enabling you to put together wholesome, nutritious meals and save energy and prep time. If you’ll be spending the summer in your vacation home, clip these ideas so you can stock up as soon as you settle in. The following are top 6 picks of foods to stock your freezer with for maximal outcome and minimal effort.

Frozen Precooked Grains

Frozen Vegetables

While cooking rice or quinoa doesn’t take too much time or effort, you can’t compare the ease of popping a frozen, microwavable bag into the microwave to watching a pot that “never seems to boil.” Having a fiber-filled whole grain rice or a protein-packed quinoa as part of a meal will help satiate your family on hectic days.

The possibilities are endless when it comes to the frozen vegetables you can fill your freezer with. Think of what you and your family enjoy and stock up accordingly. Some dishes that work well with frozen vegetables include stir-fries, blended soups, and even roasted vegetables. Some of my favorite veggies to keep handy in the freezer are green beans, cauliflower, peas, and corn.

Frozen Fruit

Portions of Protein

As with frozen vegetables, there are many varieties of frozen fruit available. Stock your freezer with frozen fruit for you and your family to enjoy in smoothies, as mix-ins for yogurts, or baked into muffins. My favorites to have on hand include blueberries, mango, strawberries, and coconut.

Proteins such as salmon fillets, premade hamburgers, schnitzel, and chicken nuggets can be prepped by you in advance, or more practically and conveniently, bought as frozen and ready to heat and eat from the store. Smaller or individually wrapped portions thaw more quickly and cook faster. Make sure to keep food safety in mind, especially when thawing protein. It is ideal to thaw in the refrigerator or by immersing the package in cold water.

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TIDBITS

Mediterranean Diet Benefits Both Mother and Baby

Frozen Herbs Frozen herbs can increase the flavor profile and nutrition level of your dish, and they’re so convenient and quick to use. Keep a few types of frozen herbs in your freezer. Throw a frozen cube into a food that will be prepared with heat, or let thaw and incorporate into a dressing, pesto, or marinade. A few of my favorite frozen herbs to store in the freezer are garlic, basil, and dill.

Yogurt Pops A more nutritious and higher-protein choice than a popsicle, a frozen yogurt pop may be the ultimate refreshing summer snack. To create these, simply freeze squeezable yogurt tubes or create your own mixture using yogurt and frozen or fresh fruit in popsicle molds. Another option is to make frozen yogurt dots by pouring a yogurt mixture into a Ziploc or piping bag (with the corner snipped off) and squeezing out dots of yogurt onto a parchment paper–lined baking sheet; once all dots are squeezed onto the sheet you can place the cookie sheet in the freezer until frozen. Try to opt for lower-sugar options if possible.

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD, is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Self-Care Enthusiast on a mission to help women reach their ultimate health and wellbeing potential inside and out. She shares credible, clear, and inspiring nutrition information with women via her virtual private practice. To contact Esti with feedback or inquiries regarding her nutritional services, please email her at: esti@estiashernutrition.com or visit estiashernutrition.com.

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Preeclampsia, a complication of pregnancy, is characterized by high blood pressure and may have negative health outcomes to both mother and baby, including organ damage. While medications and general recommendations may be helpful in preventing or treating preeclampsia, new research suggests that the Mediterranean diet, which consists of many vegetables, whole grains, and healthy fats (such as fish, olive oil, and nuts), may lower the risk. After all, one of the most acclaimed benefits of the Mediterranean diet is its positive impact on heart health. A research team at Johns Hopkins University looked at data from 8,623 expectant women who were at a particularly high risk for preeclampsia, and found a 22 percent lower risk of the issue in the group that most closely followed the guidelines of a Mediterranean diet. The research team explained that the Mediterranean diet causes “less oxidative stress and better vascular function,” which may be the reason why it was so helpful for lowering the risk for preeclampsia.

Soluble Fiber May Reduce Antibiotic Resistance in the Digestive Tract When the body becomes resistant to antibiotics, untreatable infections and subsequent serious illness may occur. New data suggests a dietary intervention for reducing antibiotic resistance in the digestive tract—including up to 10 grams (a little less than half an ounce) of soluble fiber each day. Foods that contain soluble fiber include beans, avocados, barley, oats, seeds, nuts, berries, carrots, and squash, among others. A lower level of antibiotic-resistant genes in gut microbiomes were seen when study participants regularly ate high levels of fiber and lower levels of protein. The study participants who ate a lot of soluble fiber also had a healthier gut with less inflammation.

the best spelt in THE velt. spelt flo

‫כשר פארווע‬ KOSHER PARVE

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MADE IN USA

THIS MONTH

In the pages of Wellspring, we share expert advice from some of the community’s most popular and competent dietitians and nutritionists. In this column, you get to see how they practice what they preach in their own kitchens. Pull up a chair at “My Table” and join the chat.

TRIP TIME! What’s one wholesome dinner that tastes good at room temperature that you often take along on day trips or when you want to spend time outdoors?

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Our absolute favorite take-along meal is grilled chicken with grilled vegetables. Tastes great hot or cold. The kids love when I bring along chickenveggie skewers.

Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

Shani Taub, CDC

Compiled by Shiffy Friedman

Quinoa is one food that stays fresh for a while. I prepare quinoa salad for when I’m on the go. It tastes great and really promotes satiety.

Easy Cheesy Vegetable Quiche Ingredients 1½ cups sliced yellow squash (2 small or 1 very large) 1½ cups sliced zucchini (2 small or 1 very large) 1 large orange bell pepper (or any color), chopped 2 cloves roasted garlic, chopped 1 Tbsp ground or fresh thyme, chopped 3 large eggs 3 large egg whites ¾ cup skim milk ¾ tsp salt ¼ tsp freshly ground black pepper ⅔ cup reduced-fat shredded cheese Instructions Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat. Spray with non-stick spray and add sliced squash, zucchini, chopped pepper, roasted garlic, thyme, and a pinch of salt and pepper. (The rest of the salt and pepper in the recipe is for the egg mixture, so just use a pinch here). Stirring frequently, cook for 6–7 minutes or until veggies are tender. Spoon into a bowl and allow to cool as you prepare the egg mixture. Preheat oven to 350°F. Spray a 9-inch pie pan or square pan with non-stick spray. Set aside. In a large bowl, whisk eggs, egg whites, milk, salt, and pepper together until thoroughly combined. Arrange veggies in the prepared pan. Top with shredded cheese, then pour egg mixture on top. Bake for 45 minutes or until filling is set. Cool for 10 minutes on a wire rack before slicing and serving. Yield: 6 servings

Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC

Tanya Rosen, MS, CPT

This cheesy vegetable quiche is so delicious and tastes just as good cold as it does warm! I love to take it along with me on outdoor trips.

W While I can’t say this takealong dinner is especially wholesome, I can say that it’s easy, child friendly, and perfect for a hot summer’s day: we enjoy making whole wheat deli sandwiches at our location (be it the beach or a park picnic). I also precook some corn on the cob and bring along freshly cut watermelon. Happy kids and happy mom! Overall, I do a lot of outdoor grilling in the summertime. This is the perfect season to get amazing lean proteins ready fairly quickly. I pair them with any vegetables I have handy and throw them onto the grill as well.

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 Wrap, soft tortilla, or any very thin flatbread  Something sticky to help hold the wrap together (condiments, hummus, nut or seed butter, Nutella, or cream cheese)  Protein-rich fillings (deli meat, cheese, chicken/tuna salad, hummus)  Produce (thinly sliced cucumbers, lettuce, thinly sliced or diced fruit, such as pre-checked strawberries, peaches, or banana) Instructions:  Place wrap or tortilla on a flat surface/plate  Spread with your choice of “sticky” filling  Add any proteins or produce to the side of the wrap.  Starting at that side, roll up very tightly.  Cut with a serrated knife.  Serve with cut-up veggies/fruit, or a simple veggie side dish Wraps to try: Sweet:  Banana peanut butter roll (add seeds for a crunch!)  Nutella and thinly sliced fresh fruit (seeds optional) Savory:  Chicken/tuna salad wrap (can be out of the fridge no more than two hours)  Shredded chicken and veggie wrap  Deli meat wrap  Hummus and cucumber (or veggie of choice) roll up Hack: If you want to avoid dealing with the prep, pack pitta chips, veggie chips, or tortilla chips to dip into the proteins (e.g., chicken/tuna salad and hummus), with cut-up veggies on the side.

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Alternatively, I prepare the quinoa less spicy, to be added to a salad. Add lettuce, sweet potato, roasted squash cubes, cucumbers, and any other vegetables you like. I usually do a create-yourown style, and everyone adds what they like. Other add-in options are cheese, eggs, or chicken. Quinoa has all nine essential amino acids, so with the sweet potato and vegetables, it’s a complete meal.

Yaffi Lvova, RDN

Here’s how we set up our wraps:

T W The first answer that comes to mind is quinoa. I prepare it like farfel. First brown it, and season with salt, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, and paprika. Prepare according to package instructions. It can be enjoyed hot and cold.

What I look for in a traveling meal is • safety

• satiety • sanity

Is it safe in hot temperatures? Does it taste good and make us feel full? Can we all enjoy it happily? I like sandwiches for travel. You can easily pack the separate ingredients alone to avoid a mushy lunch. Dips and spreads can be used as condiments for each person to perfect their own meal.

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

Wraps make for a simple, tasty, and nutritious on-the-go meal.

Bashy Halberstam, INHC

Miriam Carr Shteyn, Wellness and Body Confidence Coach

MY TABLE

I like to prepare a trail mix (mixture of nuts, seeds, cereals, dried fruit, etc.) depending on each kid’s preferences, and pair that with a whole fruit and a frozen individual yogurt that will thaw and then stay cold by the time we eat the meal. The trail mix can be mixed into the yogurt as a granola or eaten separately.

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Heart.Works

o � e b r o S one m i L Like a morning frost on a siciLian sunday

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Inside scoop: Ice cream is not Gelato. learn more at tuscaninifoods.com

RANDOM

Age: 38 Location: Lakewood, New Jersey

Questions

Occupation: Personal trainer

for

Batsheva C.

My favorite exercise

Anything with sautéed peppers — or the peppers on their own

One misconception I used

I’m a personal trainer, so I can’t have just one! But I do: planks.

to have about health

That a healthy lifestyle is a pain.

One interesting thing I’ve learned about health When I eat well and avoid sugar, I need less sleep because the sleep quality is so much better. I wake up refreshed and ready to tackle my day.

Healthy supper in a pinch

One food I avoid at all costs Sweetened drinks

With a big brood to feed, ka”h, supper’s always a job; when I’m really short on time, buying a healthy-ish dinner is the way to go. I know this is not a helpful recipe, but I think people—especially harried mothers—need to remember that this is a perfectly acceptable answer too.

Prep one of your favorite health foods in bulk so it’s always on hand when you’re hungry. In my case, it means stocking sautéed peppers in containers so I can always mix them into brown rice, quinoa, or salad, or even just have them defrost in my car while I’m getting stuff done.

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To answer these questions for an upcoming issue, please write to info@wellspringmagazine.com, subject title “Random.”

My favorite health food

Family: 9 kids

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E V E RY D AY . A TRE ASURE NT E V E RY M O M E . A M E M O RY

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