Wellspring Issue #87 by The Wellspring

PESACH ISSUE

Vehigadeta Levincha The secret to inculcating children with the values we want them to uphold

APRIL 2023 // NISSAN 5783 // ISSUE 87

Homemade Is Best With results this good, you’ll be making almond milk all year round

Wellspring’s Yom Tov Panel Is Back! Is My Child Ready for Marriage?

FYI Halitosis can be more than just a nuisance

Exploring the red flags, the traits they’ll outgrow, and how to nurture the soil so a solid relationship can blossom

Yoga for Weight Loss

Time to Celebrate! Hear from readers like you at Sample’s Second Birthday Party Plus! Informative Poll: How Other Families Do Health How I finally got rid of postpartum vertigo The dizziness swept in with such intensity, I grabbed a shopping cart for support—and waited for my husband to take me home Indoor Fun 4 activities to enhance development and the Yom Tov spirit

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My Table One staple that’s off limits on Pesach and how we substitute

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Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC Esther Fried, PFC Child Development Advisory Board Friedy Singer, OTR/L Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L Coordinating Editor Liba Solomon, CNWC Feature Editors Rochel Gordon • Rikki Samson

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The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.

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EDITOR'S NOTE

On Mind’s Wings

riting to you in this space every month calls for various resources, starting with a coherent thought (I hope!) and the modern version of pen and paper, of course. When it comes to the Pesach issue, visualization is another important player. Penning these words weeks before the culmination of our work will actualize in the form of a regally bedecked Seder table, and wanting to convey a message that embodies the sense of freedom we experience during those high moments, I need to fast-forward to that long-awaited day in my mind’s eye. Envisioning the sights, the sounds, and the smells wafting in from the transformed kitchen helps me see myself in Pesach mode, even while the kids are still happily leaving trails from their oatmeal squares. Letting the mind take us on a journey is an exhilarating experience. Our body can be in one place but if the mind carries us away, our being is temporarily elsewhere. This technique has helped individuals even in the most trying of circumstances, infusing them with hope and positive feelings. Visualization is actually a practice that Chazal urge us to tap into on Pesach. The Mishnah, quoted in the Haggadah, famously states: “In every generation, man is required to visualize himself as if he left Mitzrayim.” It’s this cognitive gift that we employ at the Seder table, picturing ourselves first in the bitter exile and then experiencing the exhilarating liberation from bondage. What journeys we can travel, thanks to this gift.

ow incredible is the power of the mind. In this expanded edition of Wellspring, we bring you several fascinating pieces on the subject, each exploring another angle of the brain’s impact on health and wellness. Whether in the riveting Medical Saga, Esther

Retek’s Cup of Tea with certified hypnotherapist Bracha Pearl Toporowitch, and other articles as well, the mind’s central role in healing is highlighted. While Bracha offers two hands-on exercises to tap into the power of hypnotherapy, employing the mind as a means to feel better can be done on a very simple level as well. So often, when we’re feeling anxious, even with happy stresses like a toy-strewn living room or too many dishes in the sink, the mind is so focused on the challenge that it’s hard for us to move forward. Instead of climbing out of our mess, we start to feel more and more encumbered by it. Soon, we might even feel a headache coming on or the onset of a backache shooting all the way up the spinal cord. It’s always a good idea to take a break to rejuvenate, but knowing the power of the mind, and realizing how this gift can be used to our advantage, we have the choice to make a mental switch, as well. Whether it’s by focusing on the blessing in the challenge, seeing the greatness of the work we’re doing, or even just visualizing the room after our work will be done, we can find ourselves climbing out of our Mitzrayim, one step after another. Most powerful of all, we can realize that while we may find ourselves in a physically taxing circumstance, our mind doesn’t have to be in that stuck place at all. This is the koach of yetzias Mitzrayim that’s accessible to us in every generation—to escape the superficial confines of our current circumstance not because we feel defeated or we’re in denial, but because we’ve elevated ourselves enough to realize that nothing in this world can keep us hostage if we choose to connect to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And so, while we might be experiencing something painful or uncomfortable in body, in our mind, we’re at peace. Now that’s what we call freedom. Wishing you all a truly joyous Zeman Cheiruseinu,

n a m d e i r F Shiffy

WELL- PUT “Hashem didn’t just take the Yidden out of Mitzrayim; He took Mitzrayim out of the Yidden. By sending them their food within boundaries, they would learn a healthy, respectable way of life.”

Rabbi Eli Glaser, Spiritual Eating WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5783

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CONTENTS

APRIL 2023 NISSAN 5783 ISSUE 87 Our next issue will appear on Wednesday, May 3rd iy"H.

58 92

WELL INFORMED 20

Springboard

Spiritual Eating

Torah Wellspring

Health Updates

LIVING WELL 48

Fitness

Ask the Nutritionist

FYI

Community

Sample

Cup Of Tea

Medical Saga

Serial Diary

DIY

WELLBEING 88

72 103 SEASONED 18

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2023

OT@Home

90 Tap In 92

Is My Child Ready for Marriage?

FAREWELL 130 Holistic

Small

Details. WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5783

SPRINGBOARD

On Sore Throats, Sleep Schedules, Intuitive Eating, and More

Silver to the Rescue

silver. It’s tasteless and odorless and is available as a spray.

I’d like to express my appreciation for a wholesome publication that we look forward to every month. The question I have every time I finish reading an issue from cover to cover is, “What will they come up with next month?” And you never fail to deliver.

One caveat: Although it is considered an antibacterial solution, I have found that the only thing that actually works to rid the body of a strep infection is antibiotics. Treating strep throat naturally sounds like a good idea in theory, but the risk that the infection will spread is too great. However, when the reason for sore throat isn’t a bacterial infection, colloidal silver really does the job.

Issue #85: FYI

In her article on sore throats—and all FYI articles—Faigy Schonfeld offers some really good tips for healing. I’d like to share what has worked for me and my kids: colloidal 20

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2023

Thanks, C. Freifeld

Don’t Overdo It Issue #86: Cover Feature

Thanks for the laughs (best medicine!) in your fabulous Purim issue. Besides for the healthy dose of humor, the cover feature offered a lot of food for thought regarding childcare, a topic that’s on the forefront of my mind as a young mother. In regard to the sleep conundrum, I’d like to chime in with excellent advice I received from a sleep

Huge

At Hamaspik, the heart is in the details

WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5783

Quick Question

SPRINGBOARD

Question: I will be giving birth soon, be’ezras Hashem, and all of my babies, both boys and girls, had a high level of jaundice at birth. Is there anything I can take pre-birth to decrease the baby’s bilirubin levels?

Answer: I have seen excellent results from women who took milk thistle in their ninth month, as well as the remedy called Jaundice Relief, which can be ingested as a tea. While both are all-natural and support the liver safely, please consult with your doctor before taking any supplements. May it be besha’ah tovah!

training coach when my oldest was about 18 months old and having a hard time falling asleep at night. She taught me that contrary to what would make sense to us, when a child is overtired, falling asleep becomes harder, not easier. And so, as much as we’re afraid to let them nap too late into the afternoon, keeping them up for too long is also not a good idea as they can only handle a certain amount of awake time. Once kids hit that awake threshold, their body will reach a fatigue point, causing them to become unable to tolerate the stimulation around them. If they are not put to sleep, they will compensate by producing the “awake” hormone, cortisol. Cortisol will usually manifest itself in making the child appear hyperactive, giddy, or even manic, and the child will often swing from one extreme to the other in a very short time (laughing hysterically one moment, and then crying the next). The buildup of cortisol in the child’s bloodstream will also make it more difficult for him to fall asleep, stay 22

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2023

Take care, Miriam Schweid, kinesiologist and health consultant

asleep, and sleep well. Interestingly, this is why a child who was put to sleep late, often in an attempt to make him sleep late, might wake up even earlier than his usual wake time—such as on Shabbos and Yom Tov. Whenever possible, it’s a good idea not to “overdo” a kid’s wake time. Thanks for being an excellent resource on all things health and wellness.

thank you! As the narrator expressed, the article was worth writing even just to offer validation to those who can relate to her condition. I’m one of those. I’m excited to finally have a piece of evidence to refute those who tell me to just “get over it” when I tell them I simply can’t get out to a simchah or other event on a day the migraine hits. Name withheld upon request

Sara F. Far Rockaway

To a More Energized Start Not All in My Head, After All Issue #84: Medical Saga

I just managed to catch up with my Wellspring reading and finally got to read the Medical Saga on migraines with aura. Thank you, thank you,

Issue #85: Community

I’d like to offer my advice to the reader who asked how she can kickstart her energy levels earlier in the day. A while ago, I went for some craniosacral therapy sessions. One unexpected benefit was that I started

. s t r a e H e g u H Small Details.

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The Doctor Is In

SPRINGBOARD

Question: I recently had bloodwork drawn by my primary doctor and the results showed that my cholesterol is high. I’m not sure what all the numbers mean and what I’m supposed to do with this information. My doctor prescribed medication but I’m hesitant to start taking it, especially since I feel fine. Is high cholesterol dangerous? Is there anything else I can do instead of taking medication?

Answer: Cholesterol is a waxy substance that is essential for the proper functioning of our bodies. However, high levels of cholesterol in the blood can increase the risk of developing serious health conditions, such as heart disease, stroke, and peripheral artery disease. There are different types of cholesterol, and bloodwork done by your doctor will usually yield a few different results. High levels of LDL cholesterol (also known as “bad” cholesterol) in the blood can cause plaque to build up in the arteries, leading to atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries). This condition can increase the risk of heart disease and stroke, which are leading causes of death worldwide. One of the most effective ways to lower cholesterol is through diet. A heart-healthy diet includes plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats, such as olive oil, avocados, and nuts. Foods to avoid include red meat, full-fat dairy products, and fried foods. Exercise is another important strategy for reducing cholesterol levels. Regular physical activity can increase HDL cholesterol (also known as “good” cholesterol) and decrease LDL cholesterol. Aim for at

least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise, such as brisk walking, on most days of the week. Shabbos can be a great time to get those steps in. For some people, lifestyle changes alone may not be enough to lower cholesterol levels. In these cases, medication may be necessary. Statins are a type of medication that can lower LDL cholesterol levels by blocking the production of cholesterol in the liver. There are other medications that work to lower cholesterol through different mechanisms. It’s important to note that high cholesterol levels often have no symptoms, so it’s essential to have regular cholesterol screenings. It is recommended that adults over the age of 20 have their cholesterol levels checked at least once every five years. Although you have no symptoms, high cholesterol levels can be dangerous and increase the risk of serious health conditions. However, there are effective strategies for reducing cholesterol levels, including diet, exercise, and medication. By making these lifestyle changes and working closely with a healthcare provider, you can take control of your cholesterol levels and reduce your risk of heart disease and stroke. Jennie Berkovich, DO, FAAP JOWMA Director of Education

feeling much more rested in the mornings. I’ve been feeling much more alert, at ease, energized, and ready for the day. These effects were long-lasting once I’d had about six sessions, though every individual probably requires a different amount of sessions depending on the particular needs of their body.

The Self-Worth Connection

Two other tips that may be helpful are to stay properly hydrated and ensure sufficient vitamin D intake.

I very much related to the question

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2023

Wishing you much hatzlachah! Name withheld upon request

Issue #86: Tap In

in last issue’s Tap In. I too have been thinking that once I lose a certain amount of weight I’ll look more into the Intuitive Eating way of life, as its principles sit well with me. I love that it takes a step away from the severity of a diet plan while also encouraging us to nourish the body right. Gila’s response was very insightful, though, and I came away with an understanding of why this simply doesn’t work. Literally every day that we’re on a diet, we’re sending more

WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5783

What, in a nutshell, can I do to promote healthy lifestyle habits in my kids?

Answer: The very best thing you can do to raise a healthy family—a family that wants to continue healthy habits—is to model healthy habits. Model joy in health, such as by eating together while having a good time; going on family walks after dinner (or bike riding or a round of Twister or a dance party); enjoying a variety of foods, including all five flavors; getting enough sleep and drinking enough water; and speaking about all bodies kindly. Yaffi Lvova, RDN

Yaffi Lvova, RDN, is a dietitian and food enjoyment activist who encourages positive nutrition through writing, speaking, and Nap Time Nutrition, her video blog and podcast. Find out more at babybloomnutrition.com.

and more messages to the brain that only if we weigh or look xyz are we valuable. Still, the mentality is so rampant around us. Rather than wondering how our shtark community has come to this place, though, it would do us much good if we each asked ourselves why we feel this way. Many of us have deep-seated misconceptions about appearance that are deeply enmeshed in our feelings of self-worth. It’s easy to tell someone to stop buying designer clothes and caring so much about the way she looks, but the reason why it might be so hard for her could be because there’s an internal voice that wants to know, “Who am I without all of this stuff?” Learning how to appreciate ourselves regardless of outer trappings is no simple feat. But that’s the work not only for those of us who are carrying around more weight on our frame than is considered ideal, but for all of us Yidden who want to live a life of substance and truth. With much appreciation for a magazine that is thoughtprovoking, inspiring, and simply a pleasure to read, K. D.

PSA

Beware of Acidic Juices Various health-oriented programs encourage lots of fresh juices for lactating mothers, but not all babies think it’s such a good idea. Their developing kidneys can’t yet handle all that acid. In my experience, my baby cried incessantly while I was juicing with citrus fruits. I changed to pears, bananas, and berries, which are way less acidic, and the crying stopped.

Get in touch! Wellspring invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@wellspringmagazine.com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2023

Any health information, advice, or suggestions published here are the opinion of the letter writer and are not independently investigated, endorsed, or validated by Wellspring. Always seek the advice of a qualified health professional or medical practitioner regarding any medical advice, condition, or treatment.

Question:

Pediatric Nutrition

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SPIRITUAL EATING By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

The Real Geulah: Taking Mitzrayim Out of the Yidden

“And Bnei Yisrael said to [Moshe and Aharon] ‘If only we had died by the hand of Hashem in the land of Mitzrayim, when we sat by pots of meat, when we ate bread to our fill’” (Shemos 16:3).

“And Moshe and Aharon said to Bnei Yisrael, ‘Even then you will know that Hashem brought you out from the land of Mitzrayim” (ibid., 16:6). These passages teach us that through the quail and mahn they would receive in response to their fear of hunger in the desert, the Yidden would know that Hashem is the One solely responsible for their salvation. But why is food used as the vehicle to deliver this essential lesson that serves as a fundamental cornerstone of Jewish doctrine? And why is their fear centered around their previous eating habits in Mitzrayim? Surely the conditions of the wilderness could have easily prompted other concerns, such as the wild animals and lack of shelter, which would also have caused anxiety for the Yidden. Why were they focused on the food, and what lesson is Hashem trying to teach us through this episode in the exodus from Mitzrayim? The Seforno offers a powerful and penetrating perspective. He explains that Moshe prayed that when Hashem would respond to the nation’s request for food, He would provide their sustenance on a nightly basis, exactly enough for that evening—no more and

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2023

no less. And through this manner of provision, the Yidden would be cognizant that Hashem was taking them out of Mitzrayim—and not just taking them out of the land of Mitzrayim but taking Egyptian attitudes and behaviors completely out of them. Soon after they left Mitzrayim, the Yidden still yearned to return to the gluttonous ways of the Mitzri’im, which was to always have a pot of meat at their side and to graze continually like an animal, with no proper boundaries or guidelines in their relationship with food. They were likened to chickens, constantly pecking at garbage, demeaning and debasing themselves for another morsel of this or a bite of that. This continued until Hashem’s servant Moshe instilled in them the importance of proper conduct with regard to eating, and having appropriate portions at suitable times. This, the Seforno says, is the explanation of these verses—how Hashem didn’t just take the Yidden out of Egypt; He took Egypt out of the Yidden. By sending them their food within boundaries, they would learn a healthy, respectable way of life. In every generation, our work as Yidden is to extract the Mitzrayim out of

our beings. When we hop from shul to shul hoping to chap another slice of cake here, or piece of kugel there, are we not enslaving ourselves back to Egyptian culture, ascribing importance to their sets of mores and values? Is this the Torah way to have a holy and healthy relationship with food? Are we really being kadosh at a kiddush? Is this the example to set for our children—to eat whenever we feel like it and whatever we want, like a cow grazing in a field or a chicken pecking at garbage? At the momentous zeman cheiruseinu, the real independence achieved by Klal Yisrael three thousand years ago was not merely the removal of physical subjugation and geographic relocation. It was the liberty to rid themselves of the foreign values and priorities that had taken such deep root in their souls, they had sunk to the 49th level of spiritual impurity. This is the singular focus of our cheirus today, for we have no slave masters to conquer other than our own misplaced principles of pursuing the next physical pleasure under the guise of Torah observance. With this goal in mind, we feel perfectly happy passing over the Pesach cookies.

Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS, is the founder and director of Soveya and the author of the best-selling book Enough Is Enough—How the Soveya Solution Is Revolutionizing the Diet and Weight-Loss World, available on Amazon and at Barnes & Nobles and Judaica Plaza in Lakewood. He has worked with thousands of clients around the world and has maintained a 130-pound weight loss for the last 19 years. For more information about Soveya’s programs call 732-5788800, email info@soveya.com, or visit www. soveya.com.

WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5783

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TORAH WELLSPRING By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

Louder Than Words— And Actions Where a parent’s power of influence is most potent

On this Yom Tov, when parents and their children gather around to regale with the miracles of yetzias Mitzrayim, an appropriate topic for the time is chinuch. It is specifically on the leil haSeder that we are tasked with the special mitzvah of “Vehigadeta levincha bayom hahu” (Shemos 13:8). 34

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2023

Through speaking to our children, we have an opportunity to connect to them and transmit a legacy that is rich with meaning and value. And by definition of having been granted this mitzvah especially for this night, we extrapolate that our koach to transmit important messages to our offspring is particularly potent during those exalted hours. From the mitzvah of vehigadeta,

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TORAH WELLSPRING

we also extrapolate the power of a parent’s influence. It is through us that legacies are transmitted forward to the next generation, and this is a responsibility we can’t take lightly. How can we maximize this koach, then and throughout the Yom Tov, when most of us spend more time with our children than usual? The first and obvious way is through the pshat of the pasuk—by sharing inspirational messages, engaging in vibrant conversations, and initiating lively back-and-forths on meaningful topics. But transmitting values doesn’t only happen through speaking. In fact, there’s a medium that’s exponentially more powerful, one that we will expound upon in this space. Perceptive Detectors According to Rav Shamshon Raphael Hirsch, in his commentary on the pasuk of vehigadeta, the root of the word is not only defined as “telling,” but also as “demonstrating.” Rav Hirsch teaches that in order to transmit the story of yetzias Mitzrayim to our children, we must “make it clear not by words but by deeds and actions…” This can be understood as demonstrating the story of our Exodus, but also more broadly that our actions speak louder than words. Our children learn more from how we conduct ourselves than from the actual words we speak. But our influence goes a step further than that. True, what the child sees leaves an imprint, but it’s the energy and passion the child’s sensitive heart detects that speaks loudest. Kids, we know, are smarter than we think. And even if their cognitive 36

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world isn’t yet fully developed, their heart feels fully. Their perceptive sensors pick up on a parent’s energy, the emotional investment we have in our avodas Hashem. We can speak about the importance of mitzvah observance until we’re blue in the face, but what will ultimately make an indelible mark on their hearts, and thus their own observance, is our own internal connection to these mitzvos. It’s not what we say or do, but who we are. Of course, our essence will obviously manifest in our deeds, but more than the kids will notice those deeds, they will sense what lies beneath them. Do I feel joy and passion emanating from my parent while he’s engaging in tefillah? Is there excitement and intention in his birkas hamazon and other mitzvos? Since we humans are naturally drawn to positive emotions, the more a child feels that Yiddishkeit is associated with simchah, the more he’ll want it for himself, with the help of Hashem. Incredibly, even when the child isn’t actually observing his parent engage in the mitzvos, this positive energy leaves an impact. When the parent is a dugma ishis, a personal example, it’s his essence that the child picks up on, and, in most cases, when there’s a loving relationship in place, that’s what the child wants to emulate. I’ve spoken to several adult children of parents who were invested in their avodas Hashem, including children of gedolim, and one sentiment many of them shared was that their father was rarely engaged in “active chinuch.” Rather, it was their sincerity in their avodas Hashem that their children detected and wanted for themselves. Becoming aware of this phenom-

enon is at once comforting and formidable. Comforting, because we can stop carrying the pressure that we must engage in active training or constantly instill values, tell stories, or teach lessons. Formidable, because it obligates us to look within and examine our internal motivation and connection to all of those values we wish to transmit. How do I feel toward this mitzvah? What is my relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu? How calm and content do I feel, knowing that He’s the One running my life? These are big questions to ask ourselves, ones that will spur a journey toward a deepened Yiddishkeit. Our desire for an internal connection may lead us toward learning about the beauty of certain mitzvos we feel a lack of enthusiasm for, or exploring negative associations related to various aspects of our avodas Hashem. It’s this internal connection that speaks loudest for our children. It’s the most powerful vehigadeta levincha of all. I Want This for Myself Actively teaching our children about the beauty of Torah and mitzvos is beautiful, of course, but it’s not the crux of chinuch; it’s not where the foundational transmission occurs. This is an important point to keep in mind, especially for those families that spend Yom Tov with relatives or others who don’t necessarily share their hashkafos or values. In a conversation I recently had with a yungerman on this subject, he confided his concern about spending Pesach with relatives whose Yiddishkeit leaves much to be desired. What kind of impact would that have on his young family, he worried. It was this message

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TORAH WELLSPRING

that offered him chizuk, and also served as a reminder to strengthen those inner roots. Children of parents who live Yiddishkeit with a fire don’t ask the question, “Why can’t we do this?” Their question is, “Why should we want to do anything different?” In general, when someone is happy with their place, they don’t seek anything else. As Rav Noach Weinberg zt”l used to tell his talmidim who were hesitant about welcoming not-yet-frum Yidden into their homes: when children grow up with pride in their heritage, they feel in their bones the pleasure their parents have toward Yiddishkeit and the honor they feel in being the Chosen Nation, and the only influencing that can occur in such settings is outward—from their family to the guests, and not vice versa.

These are big questions to ask ourselves, ones that will spur a journey toward a deepened Yiddishkeit.

Furthermore, Chazal teach that “middah tovah merubah mimiddah piraniyos.” As much as a negative influence has an impact on a child, our positive influence—especially as their parent—is infinitely greater and more indelible on their neshamah. Starting “Small” The more secure a parent feels in their Yiddishkeit, the more it’ll be a life the children will want for themselves, be’ezras Hashem. Especially at the Seder, when our koach of influence is concentrated and supercharged, tapping in to our neshamah, which desires only ruchniyus and connection to Hashem, can have incredible ripple effects on our family. On this night that embodies emunah, we can reiterate for ourselves the tranquility we feel in being in Hashem’s embrace. Knowing that on this night our children absorb double doses of our influence, we can pay extra attention to acting from this place. They’re not only watching and absorbing how we react to something big, but even—or perhaps especially—when small disappointments and frustrations come up, our 38

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response is deeply influential. The Seder table is a great place to start because it’s specifically from “minor” mishaps that profound messages are transmitted. How a parent reacts to the endless grape juice spills, the child who wants to say Mah Nishtanah this way and then that way, the inevitable bickering over who says it first, and the bumps that take on different forms as the kids mature, is a message for a lifetime. It tells a story of how connected we are to our emunah, how truly and deeply we believe that everything, everything—from galus Mitzrayim down to the accidentally chipped erev Pesach matzah—is for our good, directly from Hashem and just how it had to be.

In preparation for the Seder night, and all year long, let us remember that hashpa’ah is not so much about preparing creative games and telling the right stories. It’s about the parent himself; he is the greatest influence on his children. When we invest in ourselves most of all, our children will naturally feel that and will absorb a legacy that is rich with meaning and depth. May Hashem help us fortify our own connection to Him so that we can be true personal examples for our children, and may we be zocheh that they absorb and live by these values of Torah and mitzvos. May we and our children always feel that “ein lecha ben chorin ela mi she’oseik baTorah,” that there’s no greater freedom than living a life of Torah.

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UPDATES By Esther Retek

Let Them Be Get your cooking done while the kids build towers nearby Pesach is upon us, and if you have kids home, regardless of age, you may find yourself trying to balance your home responsibilities with providing entertainment for your kids. And rather than doubting your capabilities, you may actually be overextending yourself, a new study suggests. In recent years, emphasis on education has grown exponentially, but this has come along with higher rates of anxiety and depression among school-aged children and teens in the United States. Although a variety of causes are thought to have contributed to the decline in mental health, a new study by three researchers specializing in child development, published in the Journal of Pediatrics, points to the decline of independent child’s play as a cause. Over the last few decades there has been a tremendous decline in opportunities for children and teens to play, roam, and engage in activities independent of direct oversight and control by adults. Although well intended, the drive to guide, protect, and micromanage children has deprived them of the independence they need for their mental health, contributing to record levels of anxiety and depression among young people. “Parents today are regularly subject to messages about the dangers that might befall unsupervised children and the value of high achievement in school. But they hear little of the countervailing messages that if children are to grow up well-adjusted, they need ever-increasing opportunities for independent activity, including self-directed play and meaningful contributions to family and community life, which are signs that they are trusted, responsible, and

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capable. They need to feel they can deal effectively with the real world, not just the world of school,” says David F. Bjorklund, PhD, co-author and a professor at Atlantic University in Florida. The study also showed that children’s freedom to engage in activities that involve some degree of risk and personal responsibility away from adults has also declined over the decades. Risky play, such as climbing high into a tree, cutting food, playing with natural elements, etc., helps protect children from developing phobias and reduces future anxiety by boosting self-confidence to deal with emergencies. Among the many constraints identified in the study that impact independent activity in children today include increased time spent in school and on schoolwork at home. Between 1950 and 2010, the average length of the school year in the US increased by five weeks. Homework, which was once rare or nonexistent in elementary school, is now common even in kindergarten. Moreover, by 2014, the average time spent in recess (including any recess associated with the lunch period) for elementary schools was just 26.9 minutes a day, and some schools had no recess at all. The study highlighted that a crucial aspect of every child’s development is to simply play. Research, as well as everyday observation, indicates that play is a direct source of children’s happiness. So yes, you’re doing your kids a great favor if you tend to your unpeeled potatoes while settling them with a bucket of blocks to play with—even if you don’t build their towers.

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UPDATES

Home Safe Home Is your house comfortable for the elderly? If you’re hosting Bubby and Zeidy in your home this Yom Tov, it’s not just a room you want to set up for them. You may want to ascertain that your home is safe, comfortable, accessible, and inviting to your loved ones. How to go about it? According to a recent issue of the Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, there are five steps that can cut the risk of falls by 26 percent: decluttering, reducing tripping hazards, improving lighting, and adding hand rails and non-slip strips to stairs. Unfortunately, falls are a lot more common than we think and can result in some serious injury. “Falls are very common among older people. They can cause serious injury or even death, but they are preventable. In this review, we wanted to examine which measures could have the biggest impact on reducing falls among older people living at home,” says lead author Lindy Clemson, professor at the University of Sydney, Australia. For the study, the researchers analyzed 22 studies that included data on more than 8,400 people living at home. Taking measures to reduce falls around the house reduced falls by 38 percent in people who were at a higher risk. The review found that people most at risk of falls, such as those recently hospitalized for a fall or those needing support for daily activities, such as dressing, would benefit the 44

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most from decluttering. If you’re helping an older person clean for Pesach, you may want to have this in mind. Clearing common areas such as the front hallway, stairs, and living room; making sure the floors are empty; and taking away as much of the “extra” stuff laying around as possible can make all the difference. The reviewers estimated that if people who had previously fallen had followed these measures for a year, there would have been 1,145 falls instead of 1,847. “Having had a fall or starting to need help with everyday activities are markers of underlying risk factors, such as being unsteady on your feet, having poor judgment or weak muscles,” Clemson says. “These risk factors make negotiating the environment more challenging and increase the risk of a trip or slip in some situations.” People, especially the younger generation, may not notice the clutter in their homes that may be posing a risk for seniors. In fact, older people too may not realize what poses a danger for them as they age or to realize that continuing to climb ladders as they always have can come with a potential fall risk if their mobility or balance is diminished. If there’s a time to make your home safe and comfortable for the elderly, it’s now. With a little bit of thought, creativity, and practicality you can easily transform the place into a senior-friendly haven.

‫מ ו דים לשמחה‬ ‫ע‬

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in a series

Demystified

Myth: Gluten-free all year round is the way to go. Fact: Think gluten is evil? You’re not the only one. According to the NDP Group, one in four Americans vilify gluten and think that gluten-free is good for everyone. But, according to evidence-based research, eating Pesach cookies all year round is not as healthy as you may think. Gluten is a collection of proteins in wheat that functions like glue to help foods keep their shape. There are many reasons why we need limited amounts of gluten in our diets. For one, gluten contains a high amount of fiber and other essential nutrients. According to an article published in BMJ, going gluten free if you don’t have any sensitivities offers no health benefits. In another article published by Harvard Medical School, titled “Think Twice Before Going Gluten-Free,” the authors conclude that not only did gluten-free diets have no positive impact for the participants in their study, but their risk for heart disease actually rose because of the nutrients they missed from gluten products. Additionally, most gluten-free alternatives are highly processed, high in sugar, and contain many artificial preservatives. Consuming gluten-free products will not help with weight loss or with feeling better, says Alessio Fasano, founder of the Center for Celiac Research and Treatment in Boston. True, some people must avoid gluten for health reasons, such as those with celiac disease or an intolerance. People with those conditions can receive gluten-derived nutrients by incorporating other foods in their diets, under the guidance of a professional. But those who can tolerate gluten should continue enjoying glutencontaining foods so they can reap the benefits. 46

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FITNESS

YOGA FOR WEIGHT LOSS Exploring the connection

By Chaya Tziry Retter, RDN, BS, CPT Chaya Tziry Retter is a Monsey-based Registered Dietitian, ACE-Certified Personal Trainer, and group fitness instructor. She is passionate about helping others lead healthier lives in a way that suits their needs. She can be reached at 845-540-4487.

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Now that Pesach has finally arrived, are you feeling like a queen? Enjoying the fruits of your hard work? Whether you’re feeling like a lady, being wined and dined by family after a hectic month, or you’re still working hard, putting in full days to keep everything running smoothly, it’s very likely you’ll want a break after Yom Tov. It’s also likely you’ll want to trim down after all those Yom Tov meals. Here’s just the right solution to cover those wants, in one word: yoga. Yes, yoga—a misunderstood, often underappreciated form of exercise with endless mental, physical, and emotional benefits too. You may be familiar with some of the advantages of yoga, like increased flexibility, balance, mindfulness, emotional benefits, core strengthening, pelvic floor strengthening, sleeping better, lowering blood pressure and…weight loss. Yes, weight loss. While yoga has a reputation for being more of a feel-good, self-care kind of exercise as opposed to a fitness regimen to shed pounds, the health benefits mentioned above all work together to promote weight loss and overall healthy eating patterns. Let’s explore five ways yoga helps with weight loss. • A yoga session can burn between 180–460 calories depending on several factors, including the type of yoga, the length and intensity of the class, and the gender of the participant. For example, a person weighing 160 pounds will burn 183 calories in a 60-minute hatha (basic) yoga class, according to the Mayo Clinic. There are a number of reasons for this, one of which is that the muscles are worked so hard, they need to pull in (i.e., burn) more calories to fuel them. • Many poses in yoga, such as the handstand or the plank, are a form of body weight training that uses body weight for resistance. Certain positions and poses, just by leveraging body weight, will challenge a muscle and make it stronger. One study found that women who did an hour of ashtanga yoga twice a week for eight months were able to lift more weight with their legs at the end of the study compared to women who did not do yoga. Another study found that yoga improves core and upper body strength and endurance; participants were able to do more curl-ups and push-ups after six weeks of classes. • According to the National Sleep Foundation, yoga can help promote better sleep. For people with insomnia, prac-

ticing yoga daily helps them fall asleep faster, sleep longer, and return to sleep faster if they wake up during the night. A 2018 study compared a group of people following normal sleep patterns to another group with restricted sleep five times per week. When both groups limited their caloric intake, the group with restricted sleep lost less fat. This suggests that sleep loss negatively impacts body composition, including the loss of fat. If good sleep helps people lose fat and yoga helps people sleep well, logic dictates that yoga can help people lose fat. • A 2005 study of 15,500 middle-aged women and men funded by the National Cancer Institute found that people who were of normal weight at the age of 45 and regularly practiced yoga had gained about 3 pounds less than the average person by the time they reached 55. The study also indicated that overweight people who practiced yoga lost about 5 pounds during the 10-year period from age 45–55 compared to the 14 pounds gained by people who did not do yoga from age 45–55. The researchers concluded that these results were likely due to a more mindful approach to eating by those who practiced yoga. • A review published in December 2017 in Psychoneuroendocrinology that analyzed data from 42 studies suggested that yoga was associated with lower levels of evening cortisol, waking cortisol, resting heart rate, and cholesterol levels. Stress leads to an increase in the hormone cortisol, which increases abdominal fat, decreases muscle mass, and causes cravings for fat and sugar-rich food, and can consequently lead to obesity. Breathwork and meditation, the cornerstones of yoga practice, both contribute to boosting energy, improving mood, and lowering stress levels, says Sundar Balasubramanian, PhD, assistant professor at the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston, whose research focuses on how yogic breathing can promote wellbeing in people with chronic and other disease. “Stress can make weight loss very difficult because it can cause cortisol to rise, stress-eating, and trouble sleeping,” Balasubramanian explains. Deep breathing helps undo stress and reverse some of these negative effects that can make weight loss more difficult (or contribute to weight gain). There are physiological changes that happen in the body in response to breathing exercises, he says. With advantages like these, perhaps it’s time to change our mindset of yoga as “just” a feel-good class so we can actually reap these benefits and enjoy the workout, as well.

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ASK THE NUTRITIONIST By Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

More Than Skin Deep Can diet help heal eczema? My son suffers from a difficult case of eczema. We’ve already tried a host of creams, but none of them worked for too long. People keep suggesting a change in diet, but I’m skeptical. Is there any correlation between eczema and food intake? If yes, which foods would you suggest he limits or avoids altogether?

Unfortunately, eczema is so prevalent these days and if you or anyone in your family suffers from it, you don’t need me to tell you how annoying and even painful it is. In the conventional world, there is no cure for eczema, but there are several options that can help you manage and control the symptoms. According to Healthline, a noted source for health information, specific diets can greatly mitigate symptoms. It’s important to understand that eczema is not a result of a poor diet, but limiting or avoiding certain foods can help you avoid flare-ups. Why is that? It’s easy to understand that what we put into our body has an impact on our overall health, and even more so on the immune system. Eczema, although the exact cause is unknown, involves a malfunction of the immune system. It’s the body overreacting with inflammation and fighting healthy tissue. How can diet affect inflammation? There are many studies proving that the foods we eat can directly affect 50

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inflammation. Simply put, the foods can either decrease or increase inflammation. Therefore, an anti-inflammatory diet may help manage symptoms. Identifying inflammatory foods that worsen symptoms is a matter of trial and error. This is where a food journal is helpful. Have your son keep a log of what he ate and of when his flare-ups occurred. Hopefully he will recognize patterns, at which point he should remove foods that trigger inflammation. Some of the most common inflammatory foods include sugar, refined flour, MSG, and saturated fats. On the same token, focus on increasing his intake of anti-inflammatory foods. These include fruits, vegetables, nuts, beans, and fish. Flavonoids are powerful anti-inflammatory compounds found in a range of foods. They typically occur in the skins of colorful fruits and vegetables, such as tomatoes, berries, and citrus fruits. More evidence is also emerging that nickel and cobalt greatly worsen symptoms of dyshidrotic eczema, an eczema categorized by the tiny blisters it produces on hands and feet. Nickel and cobalt are commonly found in whole grains, dairy products, cocoa, and chocolate. If your son is suffering from this type of eczema, it may also be beneficial to up his vitamin C intake, as this helps reduce absorption of these minerals. Vitamin C is abundantly found in fruits, especially citrus fruits, peppers, broccoli, and tomatoes. For many, going gluten-free also seems to be helpful

in managing eczema. A 2020 study conducted in Israel suggests that eczema and celiac disease often go hand in hand. Therefore, eliminating gluten from one’s diet can prevent flare-ups. You have probably been told to up your son’s probiotic intake. In general, probiotic foods are known to work wonders for eczema because of the impact they have on gut health and the immune system. There is no strong scientific evidence to support the claim, according to a 2018 study published in the Cochrane Database, although there is an overwhelming amount of anecdotal evidence and personal experiences. Probiotic-rich foods include kefir, naturally fermented pickles, unpasteurized sauerkraut, and fermented beets (borscht). Additionally, you may have heard of incidents in which people saw a major difference after avoiding specific allergens. That’s because eczema and food allergies are closely related and often go hand in hand. In a 2014 study, almost 63 percent of young children with eczema also had food allergies. Therefore, it may be worthwhile to test for allergies and put your child on an elimination diet to see if there are specific foods that cause the eczema. As much as diet plays a role in mitigating or exacerbating eczema symptoms, it’s important to reiterate that diet is not always the cause or solution for this condition. Most of the changes require trial and error, and a food journal may be a great tool for that. In general, a proper diet consisting of more wholesome foods, especially fruits and vegetables may help manage the flare-ups.

Eczema, a medical condition that affects a large percentage of children, presents as patches of skin that become rough or inflamed, with blisters that cause itching and bleeding. A conventional cure has not been found, but people have seen success with a variety of alternative treatments. It’s important to note that many skin conditions, eczema among them, often correlate with the emotional state of the individual. Often, when the body is under stress, toxins can’t be expelled as they should, thus leading to various ailments, frequently presenting in skin conditions. This is one avenue worth exploring. Here is a collection of more tips and ideas from Wellspring contributors: Miriam Schweid, Health Consultant From my experience, eczema is almost always a food intolerance. In nursing infants with eczema, I’ve seen great success with eliminating certain foods from the mother’s diet. Common trigger foods are spicy foods, whole wheat, corn, nuts, and sauces. Some detergents and scented soaps can also bring on eczema. Changing to a more natural soap or detergent has resulted in wondrous results for many. I also highly recommend probiotics to improve gut health. There are also several homeopathic remedies you can offer your child to alleviate the itching, thus preventing infection. A knowledgeable health store salesperson

should be able to assist with finding the right remedies. Rivka Klein–de Graaf, Classical Homeopath • Apply lanolin on eczema spots before bathing your child to protect those areas from drying out. (Very rarely people are allergic to lanolin, so first test on a small spot.) • One great way to keep skin moist is to rub oil on wet, clean skin, then dry off with a microfiber cloth. If you use a towel, the oil doesn’t get out and the softness of the microfiber is very healing to the skin. • Areas that are very damaged by eczema can be dried with a blow dryer. • Often, eliminating milk and sugar from the diet can significantly mitigate symptoms. Dr. Rachel Schindler Eczema is an inflammation of the skin and should be treated just like the inflammation of any other organ. Therefore, a sugar-free, low glycemic gluten diet drastically reduces eczema. Pure date syrup and small amounts of honey can be used to sweeten foods. Sury Sprei, Holistic Health Practitioner Eczema is not a topical issue. Rather, it’s a symptom of a liver issue, which is why most people keep slathering creams and lotions to no avail. Once you effectively clean the liver out of the toxins causing the eczema, the skin can heal.

Laura Shammah MS, RDN, has been operating a private practice in New York and New Jersey for over 20 years. Her clientele runs the gamut from people with eating disorders to those dealing with hypertension, high cholesterol, diabetes and cancer. She also helps clients who run in marathons or are looking to lose or gain weight in a healthy way. Her nutritional guidance is published in MaryAnne Cohen’s book Lasagna for Lunch: Declaring Peace With Emotional Eating. Laura can be reached at 718-376-0062 or Laurashammah@aol.com.

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ALTERNATIVE VIEW

BY FAIGY SCHONFELD

HALITOSIS BAD BREATH, OR HALITOSIS, IS A VERY NOT-FUN, EMBARRASSING, AND COMMON CONDITION. THOUGH MOST PEOPLE EXPERIENCE SOME KIND OF UNPLEASANT “MORNING BREATH,” FOR 14–25 PERCENT OF AMERICANS, THEIR BAD BREATH IS CHRONIC AND CONTINUES THROUGHOUT THE DAY. FOR MANY PEOPLE, GRABBING A MINT OR A PIECE OF GUM IS THEIR GO-TO SOLUTION, AND WHILE IT CAN MASK THE ISSUE FOR THE MOMENT, IT NORMALLY DOESN’T DO MUCH TO ADDRESS THE ROOT CAUSES OF BAD BREATH. TOOTHPASTE AND MOUTHWASH COMPANIES MAY BE HAPPY TO HAVE YOU THINK THAT THE ONLY CURE FOR BAD BREATH IS TO FLUSH YOUR MOUTH WITH HARSH CHEMICALS (IN 2007, AMERICANS SPENT 6.7 BILLION DOLLARS ON ARTIFICIALLY TOXIC MOUTH-FRESHENING PRODUCTS), BUT FORTUNATELY THERE ARE VARIOUS NATURAL REMEDIES THAT CAN BE USED TO TREAT THIS PROBLEM.

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THE CAUSE Culprits for halitosis abound, but one of the more common causes is a chronic dry mouth; saliva is our natural defense against bacteria, so when there isn’t enough of it, the odor-causing molecules have a field day. (Dry mouth can be caused by stress, alcohol, certain meds, or some medical conditions.) Other common causes include constipation, gum diseases, lack of hydration, certain eating habits, dental hygiene or lack of it, and stomach issues, such as acid reflux.

HOW IT’S USUALLY TREATED AND WHY THAT’S NO GOOD Most people dealing with bad breath start with mouthwash and a pack of mints. Those are fairly good at covering up bad breath temporarily, but they’re usually made with toxic ingredients that can lead the body to a state of chronic halitosis. Many mouthwash products contain 26 percent ethanol, which is more than in a glass of wine. Alcohol is known to cause dry mouth—definitely something to avoid—and worse, scientists have shown that the alcohol in mouthwash causes a reaction in the mouth, of which acetylaldehyde, a carcinogen, is a byproduct. On top of that, several studies link the overuse of mouthwash to oral bacterial infections, tooth decay, and cancers of the mouth, R”l. Sugar-free gums and mint candies are not much better. Loaded with preservatives and artificial flavorings, they can be neurotoxic and carcinogenic. Besides, the sugar in mints feed bacteria that may rot the teeth and lead to bad breath. (Breath mints should be preservative-free and flavored with stevia or the like.)

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ALTERNATIVE VIEW

FOR STARTERS It goes without saying that the first step is to take care of your mouth; dental problems, especially gum disease and tooth abscesses, are common causes for bad breath. Brush your teeth and tongue, floss regularly, and clean your gums to remove bacterial buildup. Try brushing with just a little bit of baking soda, which makes the mouth less hospitable to bacteria. Or you can swish with baking soda and hydrogen peroxide. (Or apple cider vinegar. You’re welcome.) Tea tree is a powerful disinfectant that helps kill bacteria, so you might want to try a homemade tea tree mouthwash. Add a few drops of tea tree oil to a cup of warm water and rinse your mouth with this mixture at least twice a day. If you like, you can add peppermint to the recipe, which makes breath feel extra fresh. Another idea is to put a few drops into a container of unwaxed dental floss, for a nice floss coating. Hydrate Saliva, full of bacteria-fighting properties, is your mouth’s very own breath-freshening system. Saliva not only directly targets harmful bacteria; it also helps prevent food particles from becoming trapped between teeth and gums—a favorite for tiny microbes that release odor-causing byproducts. By drinking more (clean, fluoride-free) water throughout the day, you’re helping your body produce enough saliva, keeping your mouth moist and in bacteria-fighting mode. Diet Bad food is just all-around bad; on top of everything else, it can lead to stomach problems and mess up the gut, which can cause halitosis. Refined carbs, such as bleached white flour and white sugar, are never up to any good. Coffee and wine top the list of liquid offenders as they leave behind a residue that attaches to the plaque and infiltrates the digestive system. In addition, if you think you might have milk intolerance, try eliminating dairy to see if the bad breath goes along with it. While you’re at it, have some apples! And carrots. and celery. Crunchy, fiber-rich fruits and vegetables are good ammunition against bad breath. They can help scrape out the plaque buildups responsible for mild or infrequent bad breath, plus they trigger in-

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creased saliva production. Seeds, nuts, grains, and other fruits and vegetables—both raw and cooked— are great too. Zinc is another goodie to keep in mind as it helps maintain a clean, bacteria-free mouth. Supplementing with zinc or eating zinc-rich foods such as pumpkin seeds and cacao may help address the issue systematically. And also, probiotics. Too many of us are dealing with poor gut health, whether because of poor dietary habits or a round of antibiotics. Supplementing with a good probiotic or eating probiotic-rich foods might be the solution you’re looking for. (A 2011 study in Current Opinion in Gastroenterology discovered that probiotic supplements actually help replace odor-causing oral microbes with beneficial varieties.) Herbs Certain natural herbs contain aromatic phytonutrients that alkalize saliva and give the breath a clean, fresh smell. Plus, these herbs contain a whole bunch of goodies—antioxidants, electrolytes, trace minerals, and chlorophyll. Loaded with antioxidants, and a balm for gas and bloating, fennel seeds give the breath a strong, fresh odor. They immediately alkalize the saliva, naturally preventing bacterial overgrowth. Maybe switch up your pack of mints for a handful of fennel seeds! Dill, mint, and parsley are rich in vitamin C and chlorophyll, which cleanse and purify the body. They also alkalize saliva and are great for neutralizing onion and garlic smells. Another way to use herbs is steeping fresh cloves in warm, purified water and using it as a mouthwash. With powerful anti-inflammatory and antibacterial properties, this mouthwash targets bacteria and freshens breath. Peppermint is a great option, too, as it is an antimicrobial, antibacterial, and antifungal. If the bad breath stems from bacteria on the tongue and gums, peppermint drops can be used directly on the tongue. Adding a few drops to your tea may help rid the stomach of nasty odor-creating bacteria. With their fresh-breath feel, peppermint drops beat mint candies any day!

REMEDIES IN 2007, AMERICANS SPENT 6.7 BILLION DOLLARS ON ARTIFICIALLY TOXIC MOUTHFRESHENING PRODUCTS.

Lemon water is a super-drink, and one of its many benefits may be eliminating bad breath. Too much stomach acid putrefies its contents, leading to a bad smell escaping through the esophagus. Since lemons have an alkalizing effect inside the body, drinking lemon water may neutralize excess acid over time and prevent bad breath. (Make sure to rinse thoroughly after using lemon juice to prevent damage to the enamel.) Here’s another one: Hunt down some unripe guava to chew on. Rich in tannic, malic, oxalic, and phosphoric acids, as well as calcium, oxalate, and manganese, guava is a fabulous tonic for teeth and gums. Chewing cardamom or fenugreek seeds—or adding them to teas—may also help sweeten your breath. Avocado is also helpful for dealing with bad breath as it helps eliminate intestinal putrefaction. Have a daily glass of stinging nettle tea. Since bad breath may often stem from yeast overgrowth or a buildup of heavy metals and other toxins, regularly flushing your system is important. Stinging nettle is a powerful herb that helps eliminate toxins, purify the blood, and stimulate various bodily functions that target halitosis. Now, for the best part: Avoid stress. So easy, I know. But really, studies have shown that stress can increase volatile sulfur compounds—one of the root causes of smelly breath. So pack your bags and fly off to Costa Rica! If that’s not an option, you might want to try some yoga, meditation, or mindful breathing for better oral—and overall—health. And, of course, turning to Hashem to do away with your bad breath—and every other stress in your life—is always your best call. Note: Please consult with your halachic authority regarding consumption of the herbs recommended in this article.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. Please consult with a medical practitioner before administering any treatment or implementing lifestyle changes.

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WELLSPRING COMMUNITY

Fissure Cuts

In this space, we feature a health-related question or predicament submitted by a Wellspring reader. Fellow readers are invited to participate in the conversation by sharing their tried-and-true advice and suggestions. Join the community!

I regularly suffer from painful fissure cuts. Any time I forget to take stool softeners, the pain returns, full force. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I tried several creams that were recommended for fissures, but nothing helped me as much as the classic A+D ointment. Also, try not to push and strain, as that adds a lot more pressure and won’t allow the area to heal. Instead, sit in a warm bath for relief. Some people suggested heating pads, but that didn’t help me. I recently heard that cold packs are better for long-term healing than heating pads, so do your research before using any of them. Fissure cuts are no fun. Good luck! - B. Edelstein, Lakewood 56

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I had great success with magnesium supplements. I would take them twice a day with my main meals. I also drink a ton of water (at least two cups per meal), load up on vegetables that are high in fiber, and try not to be sedentary for too long. I make sure to get up at least once every 20 minutes at work. Barley is also supposed to be helpful. I cooked a large pot of mushroom-barley soup, blended all the barley, and drank it for several days. These may seem like small lifestyle changes, but I felt the difference instantly. If I’m not so good with my diet, movement, or drinking habits, the pain quickly comes back! - P.D., Los Angeles

When I suffered from postpartum fissures, I used nitroglycerin ointment diluted 10 times, and it really did the job. I would also recommend seeing a colorectal surgeon or a GI. From my experience, fissures are an issue you can get past completely. They shouldn’t be coming back every time you forget to take stool softener. - Name withheld upon request

It might seem odd, but after suffering from terrible fissure cuts after my third birth and experiencing zero relief from conventional creams and natural remedies, I decided to look into mind-body work. I worked with a Body Code practitioner, and she helped me get past some emotional blockages I was experiencing, which weren’t allowing my body to heal. In my case, I was having a hard time expressing my need for help at home, which I desperately required. I also did guided positive visualization. The practitioner made me visualize my fissures being sewn together and closed up. After a few sessions, my system went back to normal, and the fissures were gone. I highly recommend looking into a practitioner who does emotional work for physical conditions. You’ll be surprised to learn how emotional wellbeing can affect physical health. - B. Einhorn, Jerusalem

My fissures were actually a symptom of an underlying condition. I went to a top-rated colorectal surgeon and after running a full panel of bloodwork, we discovered the root cause for my recurrent fissures. I’m just sharing this because you may want to check them out with a competent family doctor or colorectal surgeon to rule out any underlying issues. - E.W., Cedarhurst

Dr. Wheatgrass! I’m so passionate about recommending this product because it worked magic for me—and that was after all else failed. I was almost considering surgery when I heard about this, and I immediately felt a difference.

Then, one of my neighbors mentioned an amazing cream that really helps with fissures. To the best of my knowledge, the cream is only available in Yerushalayim. It’s called Rebbetzin Yurowitz’s cream. It’s not an expensive cream, and I know of so many people who were helped with it, including myself. It’s a natural herbal remedy. Before I discovered the cream, I found aloe juice very helpful. I’d also recommend focusing on long-term dietary changes so you don’t get constipated and experience fissures again. Once again, kudos for bringing up the topic and I hope this will help all of us wonderful women suffering from this all-too-common condition. - G. R., Linden

My sympathies; fissures are so painful! - R. Tambur, Brooklyn

Make sure you don’t get constipated and have hard stools. This might require changes in your diet. It’s important to regulate the body to eliminate at least once a day, optimally three times. I know we are accustomed to hearing that we don’t have to eliminate daily, but according to Dr. Limoges, poor elimination is the root of a host of physical issues. You may want to do some more research on his diet and ideas so you can train yourself to eliminate more frequently. - Gitty Herbst, Monsey

Next Up: My six-year-old son struggles to fall asleep at night, lying in bed for hours before finally dozing off. He's often tired and cranky, but when it comes to bedtime he simply can't fall asleep. I'd prefer not to rely on melatonin to ease him into sleep. Any suggestions to help with this bedtime struggle?

Want to share what worked for you with a fellow Wellspring Community member? Send your response to info@wellspringmagazine.com.

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Please note: These suggestions should not be implemented in place of guidance from a medical practitioner.

First, I want to thank you for bringing up this important issue. According to several doctors I’ve seen, fissures are a very, very common issue among frum women, usually as a side effect of repeated births. However, most women won’t talk about it unless they’re in terrible pain. Even then, they won’t hear many ideas and tips because it’s not something we discuss often. When I had a period of repeated fissures, it took me time to start asking people for ideas, and I received very few.

SAMPLE

SAMPLE By Libby Silberman

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2023

Celebration At The Lab Welcome, O welcome, to Sample’s second birthday bash! While the event took place in our state-of-theart lab, I’ve graciously undertaken to record every detail for you. (If FOMO is your thing, no worries. The lab exists in a very wonderful corner of my Sample-oriented mind—but the reviews are all real.) Guests, take your seats around the table, and let’s go for it. Some more seats are available right here, near the borscht and kefir. Ah, you want to sit over on that end? Near the…chocolate platter? Oh. I see. Actually, these chocolates are vegan, sugar-free, and made from avocado fat and coconut oil. They are 80 percent raw cocoa bean and have various fillings including asparagus, broccoli, and ground quinoa. You’re getting up and running for the other end of the table? Great, so we freed up some seats around that platter. Good, good. Of course, I was just kidding. Those are very real chocolates and I have no clue what’s inside them. Good stuff, and I hope to snag a seat right there as soon as I’m done here at the mic. Thank you for joining me at the lab for our party today! Without further ado, can we have some of you loyal readers share how Sample has enlightened you or helped you form new healthy habits? Let’s pass the mic around the room so we can all hear.

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SAMPLE

The first woman to take the mic is wearing a dark sheitel. She looks pleased to be here. “Hi everyone, I’m Devorah, a mindfulness Sample participant. “I’m still working on practicing mindfulness while eating, though it’s often a struggle as I have a hard time getting past the habit of needing to read while I eat. But it’s still in the forefront of my mind, and I practice it whenever I can. Perhaps it would help if I felt I was allowed to take breaks for both eating and reading, and that they don’t have to happen at the same time, and that I’d reap the full benefit of each if they were given the full individual attention they deserve… “I enjoyed being part of this experiment and hope you’re going to continue doing more, especially trials like this one, which didn’t cost much time, energy, or money.” The rest of the guests are nodding along. The woman sitting on Devorah’s right takes the mic next. She’s bouncing a spirited toddler on her lap. “Congratulations! Hi everyone, I’m Bella, mom of four kids under the age of five, kenina hora. “I enjoyed every single Sample so far. The one I still use to this day is drinking according to the Rambam and the Fall Asleep Fast tips. I find that my best days with tons of energy and spring in my step are the days I drink according to Rambam. I send off my kids between nine and ten o’clock in the morning, and as I wait with them for their buses, I take along my threecup Contigo water bottle. When I finish drinking, I have breakfast, and then in the early afternoon, I drink another three cups of water before having lunch. In the afternoons, I struggle not to nosh on my kids’ snacks and even fruits and vegetables, because if I do, I won’t feel thirsty enough to drink. Exercising this kind of self-control feels so good. “Thanks again, your articles are a breath of fresh air. Now, can anyone remind me what’s the best method for keeping apples fresh, from the Sample on extending the 60

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shelf life of produce?” An older woman with a perfectly coiffed blond sheitel responds. “If I remember correctly, keeping it in the produce drawer of your refrigerator won.” “Thanks! Alright, let the next person share.” Bella passes the mic to the woman on her right, a tall woman with a winter white cardigan over a black midi dress. “Hi everyone. No long speeches here. I just wanted to say that I read the article on the Rambam’s way of drinking and eating and implemented it in my daily life. I must admit I feel a significant difference in my health.”

The woman hands the mic to a guest who’s holding a phone, purse, and half a sourdough roll in her hand. “Hello, everyone, and hello to you, Libby. I’m so excited to join the Sample party! Even though I didn’t implement everything, reading each Sample was so informative and interesting. If anything, I’ve become much more knowledgeable. One thing I did try, with fabulous results, was the Fall Asleep Fast challenge. At night, I fall asleep within a minute, but when I used to go for a short nap during the day, sleep simply wouldn’t come. When I read about the military method, I decided to give it a try. Lo and behold, I was asleep within a minute and enjoyed my first Erev Shabbos nap in a long, long time. It was so refreshing and unbelievable! I now use this method every time, and it works without fail.

even if you’re feeling extremely tense, overstimulated, or not drowsy at all. In short, it’s a routine of releasing tension in your shoulders, facial muscles, and extremities, and then visualizing a relaxing scene,” I explain. “I think I’m next,” a sweet voice chimes in from the end of the table. “Can you pass the mic this way? Hi, everyone, I’m thrilled to be here! My name is Rochel and I have a lot to share. For starters, I absolutely love the Sample column; everything about it—especially the candid style in which it’s conducted and reported—and it’s the first thing I usually read in the magazine [Libby: blushing and smiling]. The month you put out this birthday party’s invitation, I truly missed the Sample installment. Anyway, here are some snippets of Samples that resonated with me.

“Wow, that sounds amazing! What’s the military method?” the woman in the black dress pipes up.

“First, I fermented some veggies and made my own kombucha for a while—and I actually enjoyed it! But my mason jars have been resting on the top shelf for too long now. Maybe this should serve as a reminder to dust them off and revive them.

“It’s a method used to train the body to fall asleep fast,

“Next, I still want to make my own sourdough challah

“To everyone out there, give it a try, and to Libby at the lab, thank you!”

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SAMPLE

one day…dare I say I might try after Pesach? “Third, I suffer from ocular migraines (also known as migraines with aura per a recent Wellspring feature), so it was interesting to read the many alternative cures that are available for headaches. “And last, I also enjoyed reading about the emotional benefits of gratitude. It’s incredible to learn how our state of mind has such an impact on our physical health. I do try to internalize this and take the time to verbalize the people I’m grateful to and the things I am grateful for in my life.

the beginning of the sourdough Sample, about tending to your new ‘baby.’ For me, that’s where it ended. At this point in my life, I can’t play around with an extra baby! “I’ve been soaking and sprouting beans for some years, but with your Sample article, I clipped the list as a guide for the other grains I hadn’t yet tried, and the length of time needed. Mostly, I enjoy reading about health without the pressure of ‘Who knows what will happen to my family if I don’t follow this.’ Thanks for the info and entertainment. “Also, can you pass the chocolate this way, please?”

“Again, thanks so much and thanks for this party. These fermented carrots here are amazing, by the way.”

“Yes, I believe you mentioned your love for chocolate in your email as well, am I right?”

A smiling woman on the other side of the table requests the floor.

B. Katz grins as she pops a truffle I’d been eyeing into her mouth.

“Hi, Libby. I’ll go by B. Katz. It’s so nice to meet you at long last! I’ve been meaning to tell you how much I love your style of writing. It’s like listening to you talking. For starters, I enjoyed the correspondence piece you had at

A woman in a burgundy headscarf stands up with a smile.

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“Can I go next? I’d love to say something, and I’m running out of time. I have to be on my way in a few min-

utes. My name is Chaya Schwartz, by the way. Thanks so much for running the super informative and well-written Sample series. Each article contains a wellspring [she gestures ‘quotes’ with her fingers] of well-researched information; reading them feels like I’m schmoozing with Libby. Now for the answer to your question of how I was enlightened or how I implemented Sample’s info, here goes. “Based on the type of person I am—very busy and therefore practical in how I spend my time—I gravitate toward changes that are easily doable and don’t involve too much thought or emotional work. Therefore, I really went for the fermented vegetables (bought, not made!), but I found my stomach to be sensitive to those so I discontinued the practice. I also started buying sourdough challah. Making my own is something I’d like to master one day. “Drinking water as per the Rambam is a winner. I’ve lost weight, feel better, and don’t need to nosh as much, baruch Hashem. “I’ve also been juicing on and off for a few years now, and I’m a big fan. I feel light, energized, and clear when I drink these nutrient-filled drinks. “Sprouting is still on my wish list. I’d love to see myself munching on sprouted beans instead of corn chips one day in the near future.” Everyone claps, and I take the mic. “Thanks everyone for sharing! I’m touched by all this feedback, but there’s no better time than now to thank all of you loyal readers and brave Samples for joining me on my sometimes-zany, sometimes-precarious, but always-fun-and-enlightening exploits. It’s with a team like you that we can hack through our experiments and make our lab the happening place that it is. “Now, we got some submissions via mail and voicemails from some readers who were unable to make it today. Let’s run through them before we select a winner.” • I joined the mindful eating challenge and have been keeping to mindful eating ever since. I especially focus on tastes and textures, taking the extra thirty seconds to relish my food before swallowing and rushing onward.

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SAMPLE

• After reading the Sample on reflexology, I took two of my children to a local reflexologist, one for recurring ear infections and the other for chronic stuffy nose. I saw noticeable improvement in both cases. • I tried craniosacral therapy for my baby’s torticollis with unbelievable results. I also tried craniosacral therapy for my own severe insomnia but haven’t observed a significant change. I tried all the Fall Asleep Fast methods with limited to moderate success as well. • After reading about the connection between reflexology and nursing clean, I tried it out following the birth of my baby a year ago, and have experienced desired results. Thanks for opening my eyes to this wonderful modality. • I clipped the articles on fermenting vegetables, sourdough, and sprouting beans, and try them when the mood strikes. We all love it. I’m about to wrap up and move on to the next part of the program when a distinctly masculine voice is heard from the far end, where a little beige curtain has been strung between two wall lamps. “Ahem, I’d like to share as well. My wife got into the

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whole kefir thing after she read about it in Wellspring and proceeded to turn the world upside down in search for kefir grains. Anyway, she tracked them down and started making kefir. She ended up not loving the taste and dropped the practice. I took over and have been making kefir ever since. I use it each morning in my smoothie instead of yogurt. I take the smoothie to my shiur with me, and half the guys are totally convinced, while the other half are still rolling their eyes.” “And if I may share as well,” another deep voice from behind the curtain intones, “I’d been struggling with falling asleep for years. After reading the Sample on Falling Asleep Fast, I now use the most amazing essential oils with a plug-in diffuser. Plus, I do a short yoga routine and ten minutes of mindfulness before going to sleep. I fall asleep literally within a minute.” “Thank you, gentlemen, for joining and sharing! Did you manage to get some food from the buffet?” A chorus of yesses and some nos wafts over the curtain, and I’m pretty sure I can hear the words cholent, kishke, and knishes as well. Huh? Not from our party!

Moms, Kids, and How Other Families Do Health

Now, for the second part of our exciting program. The below is a random survey of 171 moms who answered questions regarding their approach to health at home. Which slice of the pie do you relate to? Honestly, I was pretty surprised with the results. I won’t ruin it—go ahead and enjoy.

How do you deal with a child’s ear infection?

4.2%

Reflexology

18.1%

Olive oil, garlic cloves, and waiting it out

1.8%

Vitamins

65.7%

Antibiotics

10.2%

Other

How do you deal with an oncoming strep throat? 71.3%

Antibiotics, immediately

If it’s not bad yet, reflexology

6.3%

Onion, garlic, essential oils, apple cider vinegar, gargle with salt water, vitamin C, echinacea

1.9%

Homeopathic remedies

19.4%

A combination of the above, based on the circumstances, but no antibiotics unless we must

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SAMPLE

How soon do you visit the pediatrician with a child who’s unwell? 7.7%

As soon as the thermometer reading shows fever

17.2%

After one day of fever

53.3%

After two days of fever

13.5%

After one week of fever

8.3%

Never, unless child appears extremely unwell

What condition would prompt you to keep a child home from school?

21.7%

A bad cold or the child is just not in the mood. Why not give him some extra TLC at home for a day?

47.6%

Fever

5.4%

If I know through culture/lab work that whatever illness he has is highly contagious

25.3%

If the child is too unwell to sit at a desk and concentrate, regardless of whether it’s contagious or not

How often, on average, does your child get sick?

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11.4%

Never

44.9%

Once or twice a winter

38.3%

On occasion

5.4%

He’s home once a week with something or another

What would motivate you to seek alternative/natural/holistic care? Select the statement that describes your general approach best.

11.7%

I try it as my first line of defense, and if it fails, I go to a conventional doctor.

64.8%

I try conventional first before looking into alternative practices.

2.5%

I will find a way using alternative medicine. It’s the only way.

21%

Whichever works out the cheapest and easiest— usually the doctor. Hashem is the Healer anyway.

What’s the most typical childhood illness in your house? 13%

Stomach bug

28%

Unexplained fever

10.6%

Strep throat

14.3%

Flu

16.8%

Ear infection

4.3%

Headache

1.2%

Toothache

11.8%

Other

Do you give your kids vitamins? 38.7%

None at all

6.1%

Only when they’re lacking a particular nutrient

48.5%

Vitamin C in the winter

6.7%

Of course, a whole regimen every day

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SAMPLE

How do you deal with the candy your kids receive in school? 75.6%

If they already got it, let them enjoy!

20.1%

I offer the option of trading nosh for prizes.

4.3%

Junk? Straight into the trash.

The following statement best describes the way I bake for my family. 50.9%

Home-baked is way healthier than the bakery, so why fuss over a little sugar and white flour?

38.5%

I make healthier muffins for myself but also bake with white flour and sugar for Shabbos and the kids.

10.6%

I swap most junk ingredients for healthier options such as whole-grain flour, natural sweeteners, and coconut oil, and smuggle in some veggies too.

What’s your position on cleaning products?

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55.6%

If it cleans well, I use it.

36.1%

I use conventional cleaning products, but I do take precautions, such as using them outdoors, in well-ventilated areas, and with gloves.

8.3%

I mostly use vinegar, baking soda, and other cleaning product alternatives, and when I must use an agent that is potentially harmful, I use gloves and safety goggles.

Introducing real sugar-free chocolate, without any fine print or “just kidding” lines. Square yourself off a piece of heaven and relish the guilt-free indulgence.

What’s your spouse’s position of traditional vs. alternative medicine? 14.5%

Pro

15.8%

Against

69.7%

Neutral

Oh, I almost forgot! One more detail before we move on to the next part of our program. We’re about to draw the raffle for all those readers who submitted their review on Sample. The lucky winner will receive one free session with a Wellspring contributor of her choice. From alternative medicine to a personal training session, a consultation with a child development expert, or a one-on-one to explore an aspect of your emotional health, we’ve got you covered. Stir the pot really well! And the winner is…

Chaya Schwartz! Congratula— oops, isn’t she the woman who said she was rushing somewhere? She’s gone. No worries, we’ll contact her later.

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SAMPLE

For the final part of the program, I received this question from a reader.

I get convinced about different health modalities I read in Sample or in Wellspring. Excited, I book an appointment with the craniosacral therapist, the reflexologist, or the chiropractor. I attend the appointment and religiously do what they advise, showing up to follow-up appointments, taking supplements, and doing exercises. And then, nothing. Nada. No results at all. Only I’m a thousand dollars poorer. How can it be that some modalities work for some people, and they don’t work for others trying to treat the very same issue? Is there any way we can predict the outcome before we try?

And now, I open the floor to you, dear readers, to help us answer this very loaded question. Join the conversation by emailing libby@wellspringmagazine.com with your take on the topic.

Alright! That’s it for now. Thank you all for joining! It’s been a pleasure hosting you here at the Lab. See you next month!

Join Gratitude Take2, an offbeat Sample that promises to be fun! If you can handle some unconventional work, email libby@wellspringmagazine.com by April 20, 2023 to join.

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2023

‫כל המחלה‬ ‫אשר שמתי במצרים‬ ‫לא אשים עליך‬

Our mission is your health. We are steadfast on the tradition that has grown to define Maxi Health. Your wellness is our mission, and we strive toward that end as a daily goal. As we celebrate freedom as a nation, we wish upon all of us the blessing of total wellness from the Ultimate Healer.

718.787.1235 | MAXIHEALTH.COM WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5783

CUP OF TEA

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2023

Cup of Tea with

Bracha Pearl Toporowitch, CHT Bracha Pearl Toporowitch, CHT

OCCUPATION: Certified Hypnotherapist LOCATION: Zichron Yaakov, Israel AGE: 77 FAMILY: married, 11 children, many grandchildren and great-grandchildren, ka”h

PASSION: to use her imagination creatively, in teaching women and enhancing their growth

By Esther Retek WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5783

CUP OF TEA

If we've been keeping our ears open, we’ve heard a thing or two about hypnotherapy. Some of those things were probably true, others less so. What is this modality shrouded in considerable mystery, one that promises to bring individuals into a new plane of existence and break them free from past stressors and limitations? There’s no better time than Pesach, the Yom Tov that celebrates freedom, to explore it all.

With decades of experience in the healing field, certified hypnotherapist Bracha Pearl Toporowitch uses this modality to help people free themselves of the bounds and limiting beliefs their subconscious mind has created for them. How does hypnosis work as a healing tool and how did this American-raised proud bubby many times over come to practice this unique modality? “Although health fads weren’t yet circulating when I was growing up, my mother raised us with healthy, balanced values. However, my first exposure to natural healing and pain management modalities came after the birth of my eldest. During her birth, I was administered a pain-relieving drug, and I suffered from serious side effects. As I prepared for my second birth, I heard of a Lamaze childbirth educator in Toms River, New Jersey, and attended her classes to learn more about the method in attempt to try a more natural birthing experience. Interestingly, I

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was the only participant at the time and so I really got an individualized course.” Bracha relates how beautiful the experience was and how she continued with this method for her subsequent third and fourth births. In the meantime, she became a strong advocate for the Lamaze method and encouraged her friends and family to look into it. They in turn asked her to teach it to them. Bracha’s quest for knowledge and thirst for learning propelled her to take a certification course on the subject and begin teaching it. That was the start of her learning journey of over half a century. Since then, Bracha has not stopped learning new healing modalities to treat and help people in need. Soon after getting into the childbirth field, she acquired certification as a lactation consultant. She also used visualization and other stress management techniques to help her clients deal with the aggravation that lay at the root of their

breastfeeding issues.

drastically improved.

But the impetus to her introduction to hypnotherapy was Bracha’s own incurable pain from a chronic syndrome known as fibromyalgia. “There was very little knowledge available back then, over twenty years ago, and not a single doctor had anything helpful to offer. I then turned to a pain clinic. There, I tried many alternative modalities. In fact, at one point I was working with numerous different methods, but to no avail. After five months at the clinic, I turned to the director and complained that I wasn’t feeling any difference. She suggested I had unresolved stress that was hindering my progress and that I would benefit from seeing a hypnotherapist. I was hesitant at first, but the director, a frum woman, encouraged me to do so.” Thankfully, the therapist turned out to be a good shaliach for Bracha. “For the first time, I discovered a whole new world within me,” she recalls. Not long after, her condition

“Hypnotherapy allowed me to understand that many of our ailments stem from emotions or beliefs. I learned that we are a composite of both a mind and a body, and that one always influences the other. Meanwhile, I developed a rapport with the practitioner and was amazed by the world of hypnotherapy. After 18 months of doing my own work and opening myself up to new beliefs and perceptions, I wanted to learn the modality. The biggest deterrent was that many of the classes were held on Shabbos, which meant I wouldn’t be able to receive certification due to the volume of missed classes. In the end, the teacher was especially accommodating and changed the schedule so the classes would only take place on Sundays.” As a side note, Bracha mentions that as primitive as it may sound, Shabbos can often be a challenge when attending classes, seminars, and workshops, even nowadays.

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“I sign up for a three-day workshop, only to attend one and half days, but that’s fine with me,” she says. “I once had a nine-day course in England, and the instructor actually agreed to record the lectures—which he had never done before—so I could listen to the missed classes. I then had to figure out how he could record the classes, without intentionally doing it for me. In the end, we managed, but it doesn’t always work out so well.” After her initial certification, Bracha was still reluctant to start practicing on her own and therefore joined the team at a hypnosis clinic in Chestnut Ridge, under her teacher’s supervision. She invested over 100 hours of practice during the first year and gained a wealth of knowledge and hands-on experience. After clinic hours the student practitioners would meet with their supervisor to discuss and analyze their sessions, from which Bracha gleaned much expertise in using hypnotherapy effectively. “At first, I thought hypnotherapy would be a tool in my resource box for helping women during childbirth, but I quickly learned that hypnotherapy can help with myriad issues.” All in Your Mind Many people associate hypnosis with mind-blowing shows in which performers ease volunteers on-stage into a trance and have them say or act in an irrational manner. Although it is based on hypnosis, hypnotherapy is something else entirely. “A primary principle in hypnosis work is the mind-body connection,” Bracha asserts and spontaneously begins a short visualization exercise that allows me to experience that connection. With her soothing tone and vivid descriptions, she encourages me to imagine a lemon in my fridge, to cut it, and get ready to bite into a slice. Bracha is quick to assume that my mouth is likely salivating at this point because of the exercise—and she’s right. “This is a short visualization to prove the mindbody connection. Your mind is preparing your body to digest that lemon, despite it all taking place in your mind. If your heart begins racing as you read a tragic novel, that’s another example of the mind-body connection. “Furthermore, our mind is composed of the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. 76

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“Many people associate hypnosis with mind-blowing shows in which performers ease volunteers on-stage into a trance and have them say or act in an irrational manner. Hypnotherapy is something else entirely.”

Interestingly, it is believed that the conscious is approximately 5 percent of our mind while the subconscious is 95 percent of it! In addition to some of the unique functions of the subconscious mind, it contains a memory, if you will, of all you have been or done; anything that has taken place in your experience is stored in there. These memories have created beliefs, habits, and reflexes as responses, and while they are often beneficial, they are sometimes destructive to our wellbeing. In hypnotherapy, the therapist accesses the subconscious level of the mind and activates responses to bring about healing. For example, with the skillful use of various techniques, a hypnotherapist can discover why a person suffers from certain phobias, and why and when the subconscious mind created a reflex to fear heights, the elevator, or buses.” Bracha further explains that the subconscious mind understands a completely different language than the conscious mind, mainly using imagery, stories, and parables. “I will therefore guide the client through many visualization exercises that may seem strange to the logical brain but are understood by the subconscious mind.” The beginning of a hypnotic experience involves bringing the individual into a very relaxed state, known as a trance. “Using specific language and tone, almost like lulling a child to sleep, I help the patient disconnect from the outside world and focus inward,” Bracha shares. “Everyone can experience a trance. We go in and out of them often. Think about a time you traveled on a long, straight, boring highway and lost track of time, known as highway hypnosis. Or the time you were preoccupied with your thoughts and found yourself with a pile of washed dishes you don’t remember scrubbing. You were in a trance, that’s why.” Bracha then uses this state to access the patient’s subconscious mind to discover the root issues and employ various techniques to foster healing. Tales to Tell In her book, Amazing Hypnotherapy Tales (Mosaica Press), Bracha shares some incredible, hair-raising stories that demonstrate the power of hypnotherapy. “Hypnotherapy is not magic,” Bracha is quick to emphasize be-

fore sharing a handful of them. In one remarkable incident, a woman came to see her after struggling with infertility for over 30 years. The doctors agreed to let her undergo one more round of treatment, and she begged Bracha, who’s certified in hypno-fertility, to see her before she started the treatments. “I was reluctant to accept her, fearing I had nothing to offer, but I decided to give it a shot on the condition that she religiously followed through with the exercises I’d prescribe. This woman was a good student. We learned some relaxation techniques, I gave her an anchor (see sidebar), and then moved on to the crux of our work. In her hypnotic state, her subconscious mind retrieved an incident involving an older woman cursing her that she wouldn’t bear children. Whether the curse was effective or not, I don’t know, but this woman’s mind believed it to be true, which likely hindered any chance of building a family. Until then, she’d never connected the incident with her condition, something I encounter often because the subconscious mind is adept at repressing difficult memories. We went through an intense forgiveness session and some subsequent healing sessions until she felt cleansed, renewed, and ready to embrace the future. Baruch Hashem, she gave birth to a healthy, beautiful twin girls after the treatments.” In another story, Bracha used hypnotherapy to help a cancer patient gain a new perspective on her doctor, hospital, and chemotherapy. Instead of viewing them as ruthless and robotic, she helped her subconscious create a more positive image, thus allowing the treatment to have a more positive effect on her. Having taken a rigorous course in hypno-oncology in Boston, Bracha has some other cancer-related stories to tell. In another situation, she helped a mother make a connection between a traumatic incident that happened when her child was just four to her son’s behavior as a 28-year-old adult. Truth is stranger than fiction, she sees again and again. With every story she shares, Bracha reiterates that “hypnotherapy is not some fantastical magic; only a scientifically proven method of working with the subconscious. It also requires discipline and engagement on the client’s part. Over the last 20 years of working with hypnotherapy, I’ve witnessed the most wondrous results, and in all cases, hypnotherapy greatly enhances the quality of life, regardless of the actual outcomes.” These stories give Bracha the koach to continue her work despite her advanced age. Most people her age have been retired for over a decade,

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but Bracha feels there’s too much work to be done. She’s sought out by clients around the globe, whom she sees via Zoom or in-person during her international visits. “I fill up my own reservoirs of energy when I treat people,” this proud bubby many times over remarks. With her joie de vivre and positive attitude, it’s hard to pull Bracha down. “One of my most enjoyable projects is writing a play and then acting it out together with a group of my granddaughters, and then producing a video of it!” She shares, her eyes lighting up. Unlike practitioners who get burnt out when dealing with heavy issues, Bracha uses hypnotherapy to relax herself. “When I guide my clients, I allow my mind to follow the exercises as well. When I feel stressed about my own issues in life—because we all have those!—I get myself into a light trance and practice my techniques. I always feel so much better afterward.” That’s not to say she doesn’t come across certain challenges in her practice. “I encounter resistance to my work all the time. First-time clients are especially hesitant. They’re scared I’ll be able to make them do what I want, so they’re hyper-vigilant and fearful.” To relieve this fear, Bracha makes it clear to the client that she will always be safe. “In hypnosis, I put individuals in a state in which they feel like they’re daydreaming (Alpha and Theta waves in place of the usual wide-awake state of Gamma and Beta waves), but they are not in a sleep state (which is characterized by Delta waves). Even when we’re in a deep trance, if an alarm goes off, we’ll jump up. We have a strong safety mechanism that no trance can bypass. In the same way, most people have a strong value system that their subconscious won’t bypass. The subconscious mind will not cooperate if I try to get it to do something that goes against its built-in moral system. Another common myth people have is that they will remain in a hypnotic state if I don’t ‘pull’ them out. That’s not true. In the same way we wake up after falling asleep, we will wake up from a daydreaming state even without anyone’s doing. Either way, the subconscious mind is always there to protect us; I have to ensure that it trusts I’m working for the ultimate benefit of the patient before it will take any suggestions from me. I will also only divulge information if it’s in the best interest of the individual.” Bracha often meets women who don’t believe they can change. “This is a huge—and unfortunately very prevalent—roadblock. My work is to motivate these clients because otherwise they won’t see any progress. Women will say, ‘I am… [depressed/overwhelmed/a loser/negative],’ but we need to change our language as a critical step to healing. Instead, I encourage people to say, ‘Up until now I felt…,’ which allows for new possibilities going forward.” Another challenge Bracha faces is that she never knows

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how the treatment process will go when she initially starts out with an individual. “Everyone’s subconscious mind is so unique and no two issues are alike. Two clients come to me for the same issue, but the root cause and consequently the healing methods can be vastly different.” But with her infectious enthusiasm and earnest desire to help as many people as possible, Bracha dismisses these challenges with a light chuckle. “Aren’t our minds amazing?” she quips. Healing from Within As a certified hypnotherapist, Bracha has helped thousands heal. But what about in her own life? Has she seen any progress via the modality? Bracha courageously reminisces of a difficult period her family endured, and how her healing skills—coupled by constant emunah and bitachon, of course—helped them pull through. “August 19, 2003 was a dark day for our family and all of Klal Yisrael. A number-two bus coming from the Kosel exploded on Rechov Shmuel Hanavi, killing 22 Yidden and wounding another 130. My daughter and her family of five were on that bus. Baruch Hashem, four of the five survived—three-year-old Tehilla, Hy”d, did not—but they were injured, some severely. During the hospital stay, I gave many interviews to the secular and religious media and the message always revolved around emunah, bitachon, and chesed. I was always sensitive to create a kiddush Hashem with my words. I would often notice tears in the eyes of the secular interviewers, moved by the deep emunah and strength they were observing. The question I heard again and again during interviews was, ‘Where do you get your strength from?’ because they couldn’t fathom that people could be so strong and hopeful at a difficult time like this. “Obviously, having emunah and bitachon and a very supportive community was a big part of the emotional healing that everyone needed to undergo, but I also believe that my skills as a hypnotherapist made a marked difference in the healing and pain management pre- and post-surgery.” Bracha takes pleasure in knowing she’s helped so many women, both emotionally and spiritually, whether through hypnotherapy, her books (fiction and nonfiction), the plays she has written and acted in, her workshops, and, last but not least, her shiurei Torah. Using her unique skill set, knowledge, and experience, she is on a mission to help as many people as possible break free of the brain patterns that cause pain—physical, emotional or mental—and have been depriving them from experiencing true inner peace and freedom. Bracha can be reached via Wellspring.

During her many years of therapeutic work with women, Bracha has amassed a vast assortment of resources to help her clients. In an effort to help as many people as possible, she compiled some of her best techniques and published them in a book titled Amazing Hypnotherapy Tales. Below are two techniques she mentions in her book that people can use to cope with stress. Re-laaaax Breathing This technique is used to deeply relax when feeling anxious, stressed, worried, or sad. It can also help with falling asleep more easily. Take several deep and slow breaths, inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth. Your exhale should be longer, even twice as long, as your inhale. In order to lengthen the exhale, form your mouth into a small circle, as though you were blowing into a balloon, making a sound as you exhale. As you breathe in, think “re” and as you breathe out, think “laaax.” Anchors Bracha recommends this exercise to those who want to change their state of mind from negative to positive—instantly. For example, a client who fears an encounter with a person can replace the fear with calm and safety. 1) Close your eyes and vividly bring to mind a powerful memory that arouses feelings of joy, love, serenity, success, or any other positive emotion. As you hold the memory, focus on the wonderful feelings filling you up. Try to intensify the positive feelings to their maximum. 2) When the feelings are intense, press the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand together for 10–15 seconds or more. This movement is creating your anchor. 3) Open your eyes and your fingers and think of a thought that completely pulls you out of the state of mind your memory put you in. For example, think of the smell of freshly popped popcorn. 4) Close your eyes and bring up the same memory again with its positive emotions. This time it might feel stronger than before. When the emotions are intense, press your fingers together to activate your anchor. Hold for some time and try to intensify the good feelings even more. (You can imagine turning up the volume on your cell phone in order to turn up your emotions.) 5) Continue repeating steps 3 and 4 several times. By doing so, you are creating a bond (anchor) in your brain between the finger movement and the positive feelings. 6) After repeating this exercise numerous times, you will reach a point where you don’t even have to imagine the memory in order to bring up the feelings. You simply press the fingers together and the positive feelings immediately flood your being. The exercise requires repetition in order to create new neural pathways in the brain. It is important to bring up the same memory and use the same fingers to activate the anchor. Going in and out of the memory makes it stronger and more vibrant. You can even use different memories and different finger or fist movements to create more anchors. For example, one movement can trigger feelings of happiness and another one can conjure up feelings of accomplishment.

MEDICAL SAGA

FOR A T OU

SPIN

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WOULD MY DEBILITATING DIZZINESS EVER STOP? AS TOLD TO BAYLA BROOKS Rollercoasters thrilled me during adolescence. Nowadays, I pass them up — especially when the ride won’t guarantee an end. As a young mother, recovering from birth, my life was one long spin. Each week, the ride got more intense, leaving me wobbling in motion. At times, I felt like the driver of a long train, speeding through a winding tunnel that was just a few inches larger than the train’s body itself. I had no grip on the train’s movement, and only hoped not to crash into either side. Pregnancies can be tough; we all know that. So, when I felt depleted in the sixth month of my third pregnancy, I took it in stride. As the months went by, my mobility became increasingly limited. By the end of my ninth month, I felt handicapped and could barely make it from room to room. Nevertheless, I was grateful for the gift of an otherwise healthy pregnancy, and I simply held on tight until my princess was born on the second day of Chol Hamoed Pesach. I couldn’t wait to bend, walk, run, climb stairs, and simply function. But that would take time; there were some big hurdles to overcome first. After the birth of my previous two babies, I had experienced some light dizziness, which appeared randomly and then disappeared before I had time to think about it. At around two weeks post-birth of my third baby, I began to experience severe dizziness. Considering my past experiences, I didn’t do anything about it and

hoped for the best. But this time, it was different. The dizziness persisted and strengthened for weeks almost consistently. On my first day back at work, two months post-birth, my boss was the first one to notice that something was amiss. “Are you okay?” She asked, concern in her voice. She was fingering her cell phone, contemplating calling Hatzolah. I was sitting at my desk, holding my head, face white. The dizziness had come on with such force and I was scared to make it worse by moving my head even slightly. I gave a weak smile. “Just dizzy. You know, it’s all part of it.” She didn’t know and urged me to go home and rest up. I was in such bad shape, I wasn’t sure it was safe for me to drive home, let alone walk to the car by myself. The days passed, and I waited it out. I didn’t want to be one of those hypochondriacs who run to their GP for every ache and pain. Moreover, I wasn’t interested in the doctor dismissing me by saying, “You just need a vacation.” I’d gotten that deadend advice before, and there was no planned vacation in the horizon. I figured the symptoms were just a passing phase, and so I waited and waited. I was very patient. And very dizzy. In an effort to shut out the massive range of motion around me, I closed my eyes whenever possible, and then squinted the rest of the time.

Baruch Hashem, I was able to hold down my job. However, even walking down the hall to the restroom was strenuous, and I felt the need to grasp the wall so as not to lose my balance. Shopping in stores was a saga of its own. The many options, colors, and huge open spaces with thousands of details flooded my brain and aggravated the dizziness. I got blurry vision to the extent that I was seeing a sheet of white smoke in front of me wherever I went. Once, I decided to take the chance and try picking up a few items in the supermarket around the corner. As I was shopping, the dizziness swept in with such an intensity, I was paralyzed in my spot. I fished for my phone. “Baruch, can you pick me up from the grocery?” I croaked, looking for something, even a box, to sit on. “Are you done shopping?” my surprised husband wanted to know; he’d never had such a request before. I leaned on the shopping cart. “No, I’m by the spices. Just come.” Minutes later, my husband arrived. With my dizziness so intense, he had to take the shopping cart from me and guide me out to the car. I plopped into the passenger seat to catch my breath, blown away by the intensity of the dizziness. Every morning, I’d slowly start getting dressed, testing my eyes, hoping that today would be the day for a reprieve. But that wasn’t the case. As I went through my morning

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routine, the symptoms stubbornly reappeared and settled in for the day. After three months of experiencing these symptoms, I knew it was time for action. My life and my family’s were severely compromised because of my condition, and I was existing on a fraction of my regular energy levels. I scheduled a visit with my doctor, who took my vitals and listened as I described my symptoms. She asked me if my head hurt when I strained my eyes, and if I got dizzier when I read or nodded my head. I answered yes to all. “Vertigo,” she pronounced with a sympathetic smile. “They say it’s horrible. Keep drinking and wait it out.” Wait it out? Was she for real? I’d already done that!

With the doctor’s non-reassuring prognosis, I was on my own. Determined to reclaim my life in whichever way I could and free myself of these irritating symptoms, I turned upward and davened hard. Finally, The Rope

The doctor shrugged. “You can try meclizine pills. But they’ll make you drowsy, so watch out.” This was ridiculous. Were vertigo and exhaustion exchangeable? I preferred not to have to make that choice.

Interestingly, the source of the information that shifted my mindset, ultimately setting the salvation in motion, eludes me. I don’t recall the first person to mention Dr. Sarno’s method to me, but I do remember vaguely considering the approach and half-heartedly ordering one of Dr. Sarno’s books on Amazon. I chose a used book, and it was due to arrive three weeks later.

The doctor sensed I was at the end of my rope. She explained that vertigo is an imbalance of the liquids in the ear, caused by stuck crystals that must be expelled. The mind and eyes differ in the images they’re processing, which triggers the dreaded dizziness.

Over the next few days, more and more people recommended that I try the Sarno approach. My mother, who knows me to be a very emotional and thoughtful person, strongly encouraged it and even offered to get the book for me. Hmmm. The dawn was breaking.

The doctor was kind enough to print me a diagram of the Epley maneuver, which apparently had some success in curing vertigo symptoms, though it could make the symptoms worse for some sufferers.

Then, something clinched my interest and resolve to try the Sarno method. A friend connected me with another woman who had also experienced postpartum vertigo. When we spoke on the phone and shared what we were each going through, I learned that this wonderful woman had suffered from the symptoms for longer than I had and that she’d dabbled in the Sarno approach. She explained that in her experience, Sarno was the one way out. I was convinced solid. We exchanged Tehillim names, promised to daven for each other, and hung up.

“Is there anything you can prescribe?” I was groping in the dark.

I was learning the facts slowly; this vertigo was a beast. It was erev Shabbos when I left the doctor’s office, pills and papers in hand. We bought some take-out food, which had to suffice as our Shabbos fare. Cooking, menu-planning, and recipes were completely off the grid for now. I climbed into bed, willing the shakiness to wear off, but to no avail.

I LEANED ON THE SHOPPING CART. “NO, I’M BY THE SPICES. JUST COME.” MINUTES LATER, MY HUSBAND ARRIVED.

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I was on a warpath now; whol-

ly devoted to dedicating myself to learning the Sarno approach inside out, and I davened hard that this would bring my salvation. That day, I ordered The Undivided Mind by Dr. John Sarno with overnight shipping. From the moment the book reached my hands, I dove headfirst into the mind-body world. I learned all about tension myositis syndrome (TMS), and mainly about its equivalents, which includes skin conditions, vertigo, and gastrointestinal issues. I learned about how modern medicine has not accepted psychosomatic conditions; hence, my underwhelming doctor’s visit. I learned about the thousands of people who have been cured just by reading Sarno’s books. I learned to catch the unconscious in its act and usurp the whole pain (or dizziness, in my case) operation. I learned to “repudiate” all previous conditionings, and disregard any medications, exercises, or vertigo tips. My dizziness was TMS, and TMS alone. I took on the “leap of understanding,” as Sarno puts it, and followed his treatment plan to the tee. I underlined, took notes, journaled, repeated speeches to my brain, and then did it all over again. The shift was slow, and scary. Sarno speaks of the “symptom imperative,” which I experienced with a vengeance. My brain, apparently, was fiercely determined to distract me from my unconscious thoughts. As soon as I seized the dizziness tactic from my brain, it resorted to other symptom imperatives. As the dizziness ebbed away, I got terrible migraines, stomach issues, and knee problems. But I maintained my fealty to Sarno’s ideas

SET IT STRAIGHT and persisted in working through them. It was hard, hard work. The mind is a fierce opponent to conquer. You need to lay out all your warfare, look the enemy squarely in the eye, and fight with all you’ve got. I also had to deal with conditioning, where the brain takes away the symptoms but brings them back in certain, specific scenarios, hoping to slip in some pain when you’re unaware. That part was tricky. But, baruch Hashem, I conquered that too. I was rather shocked at the—in some cases deliberate—absence of doctors’ knowledge on this subject. I’ve spoken to multiple professionals while on my journey, including a childhood family doctor and a well-known medical referral agency. None pointed to the mind-body concept. That hordes of people are suffering from TMS, with no outlet or opportunity to learn how to help themselves, seems scandalous. The most fascinating part of my journey was tuning in to my body. Looking back, I’d attribute my late-pregnancy woes somewhat to TMS. Now, I’ve become hyper-aware of my physical being, which has allowed me to relax more deeply in the present moment. It’s a stunning tactic in menuchas hanefesh, which I’ve been fortunate to learn. With infinite gratitude to Hashem, I now have my life back, free of all and every vertigo symptom. I whip out my cookbooks, dance with the kids, and go for jogs because my brain is fog-free.

Vertigo, a sensation of motion or spinning, is often described as dizziness. Vertigo is not the same as being light-headed. People with vertigo feel as though they are actually spinning or moving, or that the world is spinning around them. A person experiencing a vertigo episode will feel unsteady, have blurred vision, and have difficulty concentrating. Vertigo can interfere with driving, work, and lifestyle. It can also cause falls, which can lead to many injuries. Depending on the cause, other symptoms can include problem focusing the eyes, hearing loss, loss of balance, ringing in the ears, nausea, and vomiting. A person with vertigo may need help walking when symptoms occur and should avoid hazardous activities such as driving, operating heavy machinery, and climbing until one week after symptoms have disappeared. Healthcare providers may perform certain head movements on a vertigo patient, such as a head-thrust test or the Epley maneuver in an effort to stave off the symptoms and reset the balance organ. Those with vertigo may be prescribed medication to treat symptoms. Physical therapy may help improve balance problems. Exercise can also strengthen muscles to help prevent falls. Episodes can last from minutes to days. To prevent worsening of symptoms during an episode of vertigo, try the following: • Keep still. • Sit or lie down when symptoms occur. • Resume activity gradually. • Avoid sudden position changes. • Do not try to read when symptoms occur. • Avoid bright lights. Balance Explained Our sense of balance is controlled by signals to the brain about body movement and our position in relation to the environment. The brain integrates this information and sends signals back to the muscles on how to maintain the balance. Three sensory systems manage balance: • Vision • Proprioception (sensors in the skin, muscles, and joints) • Inner ears

I’ve been through the wringer and thankfully, have come out smarter on the other side. I’ve learned to be more compassionate to myself, connect with the somatic side of my inner world, and live a more holistic, full lifestyle.

The inner ear includes three fluid-filled loops that respond to the rotation of the head, gravity, and back-and-forth motion. If the brain can’t process signals from all these systems, or if the messages are not functioning properly, you may experience a loss of balance. Inner ear disorders cause about half of all dizziness cases, including vertigo. Vertigo rarely indicates a serious or life-threatening condition, even though it can be very disturbing and disabling. Symptoms can often disappear with no treatment.

The protagonist can be contacted via Wellspring.

(Sources: medicineplus.gov and betterhealth.vic.gov.au)

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SERIAL DIARY

are we

there yet? As told to Libby Silberman by Malky Sapir

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CHAPTER 5

Recap: While Malky reached a place of acceptance regarding her divorce, she was finding it hard to accept her daughter’s cerebral palsy, and refused to use a wheelchair or specialized equipment, or do therapeutic exercises with her at home.

Ever heard how those going through difficult situations are called “special”? I cringed every time people used that label to describe me. I wasn’t exactly embracing my challenge and acing my way through it. “I didn’t choose this nisayon,” I’d argue. “I wouldn’t mind not being special; just take away my challenge!” I hadn’t chosen to have a special-needs child, and no one had given me the option of not caring for her anyway. It felt like a life sentence with no end in sight and I honestly didn’t view myself in positive terms about my circumstances—until I heard something that changed my perspective—a complete one-eighty. Before a neshamah comes down to this world, I learned, it’s shown all the nisyonos it will encounter in its lifetime. The neshamah sees the benefit of suffering, how it cleanses the neshamah and brings them closer to Hashem. Few—very few—special neshamos ask Hashem for more challenges, more pains. Pack it in, they beg. We want to get close to You from the world below. When I heard that, I had to step back and concede that, I guess, I am indeed special. I’d asked for this! Not only do I have a newfound respect for myself, but for Batsheva even more so! She’d asked for a body that would be confined to a chair forever. What a lofty neshamah she must have. ** Now that I’ve baruch Hashem remarried and a baby boy has joined our family, I’m still very busy with Batsheva but my life is filled with so many more blessings. At five and a half years old, Batsheva is a smart, mature child, and though that seems like a good thing—it really is!—her awareness of her circumstances has become a source of difficulty. The older she gets, the more she realizes how different she is from other children, and it is only growing more difficult for her to accept herself in her very limited body. With her cognitive abilities intact, life is frustrating for her. She wants so many things that are simply impossible. She tells me about it in our own secret language…for the only word she can actually utter is “ma”—not mommy or even mama, just ma. A few months ago, my grandfather was admitted to hospital for what would be his final hospital stay. He’d been fading slowly, painfully, for the past five years due to Alzheimer’s disease, and now he had fluid in his lungs, rendering him unable to speak, plus he was incapacitated due

to a fall. My mother encouraged me to fly to Eretz Yisrael, where Zeidy had retired 15 years ago, to see him. Who knew if there would be another chance? I knew it would be difficult to see him in such a compromised state, but I wasn’t afraid. I held onto my memories of a strong and vibrant zeidy; a zeidy who rarely said an extraneous word, loved us to the end of the world and back, and always made us feel good, even when we slept until noon on Shabbos morning. “You’ll have more koach to serve Hashem,” he would say with a wink. Zeidy was excited to see me and my infant son. Despite his forgetfulness, he seemed to remember who I was very well. We chatted for some time, and he showered me with lots of berachos. He seemed not to remember that I had gotten divorced a while back and was glad that I had baruch Hashem had another child. He communicated his physical discomfort, showing me which drawer held the moisturizer and how to apply it to his dry lips. He showed me how to adjust his bed so he could sit up better. We schmoozed as he played with my baby. I felt so connected, so loved. I couldn’t fathom why my aunts and mother reported that the zeidy we had known wasn’t really here anymore. After around a half hour of conversation, my aunt joined us in the room. She watched us silently for a few minutes, giving us odd looks, and then left. She returned a few minutes later and stood to the side, teary-eyed. “What just happened? Do you know that Zeidy hasn’t said a word for the past few weeks? Do you know that he hasn’t been able to communicate with us? As much as we tried, we had no idea how to make him more comfortable! How did you manage to communicate so well?” That was when I had the most stunning revelation: the challenges Hashem gives us do indeed build us. By mothering Batsheva, I’d learned the art of nonverbal communication, the nuances and gestures and grunts; that’s what my conversations with Batsheva consisted of, and that’s how I’d managed to communicate with Zeidy perfectly. I hadn’t even realized there was anything amiss. Thank You, Hashem, for showing me how I’ve grown.

TO BE CONTINUED… WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5783

DIY

s s e r St f e i l Re By Miriam Schweid

Whether your stress levels are elevated from preparing meals, the move-ins, keeping the house in order, or different sleeping and eating schedules, make time for yourself to unwind and relax. This acupressure session can help you release inner tension and experience a more beautiful Yom Tov. For more effective results, use the essential oil blend Calm & Relax in conjunction with this exercise. Acupressure Points: 1. Place the first three fingers of your left hand on the inside of the wrist of your right hand. Slightly flex your right hand; you will distinctly feel two tendons. Press right between them, about five centimeters from the wrist crease. 2. Place your left hand upon your right shoulder; firmly hold your shoulder. Then, place your left arm close against your chest. This enables you to uncross the two bones of your left forearm. Then, with the first three fingers of your right hand, press right between the two bones (about five centimeters from the base of your wrist, where a watch usually rests). 3. To find the third point, first follow the trajectory of your right collarbone, toward your shoulder. There, you’ll find a depression, which is situated under the external part of the collarbone. Press firmly to awaken the sensitivity that corresponds to the point you are seeking. Acupressure Guide: Hold each acupoint for three minutes, using three levels of pressure (light, medium, and deep); breathe deeply and relax. End the three minutes by holding gently to encourage a pulsation to come into your fingertips

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SPLITTING THE SEA, EVERY DAY How to prepare our children for a harmonious, healthy marriage Exclusive Wellbeing Panel

TAP IN

INDOOR FUN

DOES MEAL PLANNING HAVE A PLACE IN INTUITIVE EATING?

4 ACTIVITIES TO ENHANCE DEVELOPMENT AND THE YOM TOV SPIRIT

OT@HOME

Indoor Fun 4 activities to enhance development and the Yom Tov spirit by Miriam Frankel, OT Miriam (Manela) Frankel OTR/L is a mental health occupational therapist, founder of the online platform ChildrenBloom.com, and The Thrive Group, with offices in Brooklyn and Passaic. ChildrenBloom.com provides toolkits for parents and educators to deal with struggling children. Miriam is the author of The Parent-Child Dance and an international speaker.

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From the first year of life, when a child learns to roll and crawl, physical activity plays a significant role in his development. Promoting movement can help increase memory, perception, language, attention, emotion, mood, and the ability to fall and stay asleep. Movement in the horizontal plane has the added benefit of improving many different skills, including coordination, emotional flexibility, rigidity, and fine motor skills. Especially when the kids are out of school for longer than usual, encouraging this kind of movement can go a long way toward helping your child. The following four activities provide deep touch and movement, which are great for proprioceptive input too. Proprioception is the awareness of sensation coming from our joints, muscles, tendons, and ligaments, which provides body awareness and the ability to judge the force and direction of our movements.

Blanket Forts Get your kids thinking, building, and moving in the horizontal plane by having them gather up all the blankets and pillows they can find and letting them build a fort. Encourage them to crawl over and under the blankets to really keep the movement going. Throw some stuffed animals into the pile, and their imaginations will flourish. Rolling on the Floor Place puzzle pieces on one side of your child and have them roll across the floor to place the pieces in the puzzle. Tumblesauces Challenge your child to do the same number of tumblesauces as their age. Cleaning Time with a Twist Pesach may already be here, but there’s never a lack of spaces to clean. Arm your kids with soapy water, sponges, and washcloths. Have them lie on the floor next to you, and together, you can really scrub those floors and bottom cupboards clean. In addition to great exercise, the rubbing back and forth strengthens bilateral coordination (use of both hands). Additionally, the running around to fetch cleaning supplies or organize drawers and put things in their proper places are ways to incorporate movement into a sedentary day. Best of all, everyone takes pleasure in the satisfying results of their cleaning and organizing efforts.

Whichever activity you choose—whether all of the above or only one—use it as an opportunity to bond with your child, and enjoy quality fun time together.

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TAP IN

TAP IN by Gila Glassberg, RDN, CDN, Certified Intuitive Eating Coach

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QUESTION Having read the last few columns in this space, I’ve been very intrigued by Intuitive Eating, and many aspects of this mindset appeal to me. I would like to know how meal planning works with this approach. Is there a place for meal planning at all or does the approach encourage us to make our choices as we go along? And how rigid or structured should or shouldn’t the plan be?

ANSWER Meal planning can 100 percent be a part of your Intuitive Eating journey and, for many people, I believe it is the way to go—maybe not straight away, but certainly eventually. Let’s unpack this together. First, it’s important to understand the place meal planning had in your life until now. What kind of feelings did it bring up for you? Most of the women I work with have been on some form of a diet for around 10-plus years (often more like 20–30 years, oy!). For many people, dieting helps give some structure to their eating. The underlying premise is that if they’re not on a diet and have no rules to guide them regarding what to eat, the flexibility feels paralyzing. Thus, they believe that only with a very structured, rigid plan will they manage to pull through the day without either bingeing or going hungry. I see this a lot, especially with busy women. Their days are full, taking care of kids and working and just juggling a lot, and unless they’re on a diet for weight loss, which is a huge motivating factor, they just sort of push eating to the side. (Side note—you would never, ever send your child out of the house all day without lunch and a bunch of snacks, so please don’t do that to yourself!)

The solution to both problems—whether it’s neglecting to nourish the body or overindulging with no mindfulness in the picture—is to create a meal plan, but a flexible one. The purpose in creating this plan is to consciously choose to structure our eating in a way that works for us. To alleviate the constant “What am I eating for lunch? Oh no, I’m starving and have no plans of food; I guess I’ll just eat these ten cookies because I have no time to make lunch,” I help a client make a flexible meal plan. For some clients this looks like three meals and three snacks per day over the course of seven days. For other clients, we have a long list of meal and snack ideas, and they simply look at the list when it’s around their meal or snack time. I’ll have a client write out a grocery list based on the meal plan and use the same list each week. In this way, the menu has a twofold purpose: as a grocery list, and to take inventory from the kitchen to see what is needed. I believe that taking the guesswork out of eating and automating whatever you can is a huge part of selfcare and nourishment. If you can use meal planning from a place of self-care—not self-punishment, then yes, it is definitely in line with Intuitive Eating. It gives you structure, but also freedom.

Have questions about the Intuitive Eating approach? Send them to info@wellspringmagazine.com and Gila will be glad to answer them in this space. Gila Glassberg is a Master's level registered dietitian and a certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. As a teenager, she was faced with constant diet talk, body shaming, and obsessive guilt around food, but now that she has found food freedom through the process of Intuitive Eating, she's eager to share its wisdom with others. Gila works privately with clients and she also presents workshops. The name of her podcast is Get INTUIT with Gila, and she writes blog entries on her website, www.gilaglassberg.com. She can be reached at 570-878-3642.

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A menta l he

Is My Child Ready for Marriage?

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By Shiffy Friedman

First, the ten makkos. Then, a stunning escape in broad daylight. And finally, the most spectacular miracle of all—the splitting of the sea. But the chain of miracles didn’t end there. “Kashin zivugan kekrias Yam Suf,” the Gemara teaches (Sotah 60a). Zivugan is just as arduous a task, just as miraculous every time. Understood on the simple level, zivugan refers to the actual matchmaking between a chassan and kallah, which can be grueling in its own right. But the commentators teach that there’s more to the miracle—and the work. When an inanimate object is split, two separate pieces form. Slice through a rock or tree and you’re left with two parts, forever detached one from another. But not so with a body of water. Splitting the sea wasn’t a one-and-done occurrence. Rather, every moment of its separateness was an endeavor of its own: to keep those walls up and strong, to ensure they don’t come crashing down a moment too soon.

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Rav Chaim Brisker, among others, points out that maintaining the zivug is just the same. The arduous task doesn’t end the moment the shidduch is made. Not at all. Rather, zivugan refers to every moment that the walls of the home need to be upheld, every moment during which work must be invested to ensure that the zivug is oleh yafah. And so, as parents, when our son or daughter reaches marriageable age, the work is not only about finding Mr. or Mrs. Right. It’s also about doing our hishtadlus to ensure that the child has what it takes to maintain that krias Yam Suf, to maintain the walls of their mikdash me’at with the middos and wellness that will bring blessing and peace into their home. As is the Wellbeing Yom Tov “tradition,” we’re honored to bring you a special thought-provoking panel on the topic: How can I prepare my child for marriage?

Rabbi Ezra Friedman coaches bachurim and men in their quest toward leading a meaningful life with inner peace and contentment. Through a Torah and Chassidus perspective, he guides individuals to understand and connect to themselves and to their inner emotional world. He lives with his family in Yerushalayim.

Rebbetzin Basie Rosenblatt, LCSW, is actively involved in her family life (her priority), while maintaining a private psychotherapy practice in Brooklyn and Lakewood. As the wife of a Rosh Yeshiva, she happily hosts her family and friends, as well as the bachurim from the yeshiva.

Mrs. Chani Juravel, LCSW, is a popular lecturer and therapist in private practice in Rockland County, NY, treating women of all ages as well as couples, both in person and virtually. Chani’s book, “Sefirah in our Lives: Transforming our Relationships with Ourselves, Others, and Hashem,” is available from Feldheim.

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Mrs. Chani Juravel, LCSW

As parents who have the best interests of our child (and their future spouse) in mind, we want to gauge their readiness before they embark on their shidduchim journey. What are red flags we should be looking out for that might alert us that the child needs improvement in a certain area in order to develop into a healthy spouse? 94

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Think of the traits you’ve come to appreciate in your relationships, such as respect, trust (and being trustworthy), communication, giving, humility, and responsibility. If your child has difficulty exhibiting any of those traits, marriage will be that much more challenging. Get in touch with your “gut” and reflect on how your child interacts with family members and whether there seems to be relatively good feelings or tension around them. As much as someone can be a good friend or roommate, typically it’s their family relationships that are mimicked in marriage. So, anything that needs addressing within the family is probably a red flag. If this is one of your “high-maintenance” children, focus on how the child makes you feel at the hardest times. That’s likely an indication of how they feel inside (incompetent, angry, confused, etc.) and can be an indicator of their inner world. If there’s a lot of turbulence in your relationship with your child, there’s work that needs to be done. Many years ago, I was working with a young woman who hadn’t spoken to her parents— with whom she was living— for two years. It was a texting-only relationship, with absolute silence from her end on Shabbos. There hadn’t been any trauma; the young woman got hurt easily and shut down so often that this became the way she rolled. She avoided any potential conflict and exhibited her control with indifference in a very big way. She was working things through when a great shidduch came up. When she asked me about dating, I explained that as eligible as she was in many ways, without first working through her issue with her parents, the pattern might repeat itself. She got engaged. Six months after the wedding, the young couple was in my office, struggling through her silence.

Rebbetzin Basie Rosenblatt, LCSW It’s important for parents to ascertain that their child has the capacity to form a healthy relationship, and the way they can do that is by observing their current relationships. If this is a child who doesn’t have healthy relationship patterns, that’s a red flag. We want to make sure that this is a child who can give. A child who has an all-about-me approach to life will very likely have a hard time in the give-andtake relationship that is marriage. If parents see that unhealthy patterns keep repeating themselves, they should make sure these are addressed. They shouldn’t think that when the child gets married the issues will magically disappear. In fact, the issues are usually exacerbated. The earlier they’re dealt with, the sooner the child will have a chance to enjoy a harmonious, fulfilling marriage.It never helps for parents to judge themselves negatively, only to keep doing their best and to encourage themselves for doing so.

Rabbi Ezra Friedman Before we discuss red flags that objectively point toward a hindrance in the ability to sustain a healthy marriage, I’d like to point out that there are also signs that are individual to each particular child—ones that a perceptive parent can notice. For example, a child who is particularly quiet may be exhibiting this trait because of his refined character, which works very well in marriage, but it can also be a sign of low self-esteem, which can be a significant deterrent to building a healthy relationship. The same is true for children who are exceptionally giving, assertive, conscientious, or obedient. While in their healthy form these are beautiful middos that we all aspire to develop, when they emanate from an unhealthy place they don’t feel good to the child and aren’t constructive to their growth and ability to form wholesome relationships. Parents should observe their children and tap into their intuition (or consult with a third party) to discern whether particular extreme traits in their child emanate from a healthy place or not. The same trait that may seem complimentary can also be unhealthy, and differentiating between the two with an open mind can significantly help parents help their child. Then there are objective red flags that more clearly signal that work needs to be done before a child can blossom in their marriage (and in life, in general). Since marriage is all about relationship and connection, which is built on giving, it’s key for an individual entering marriage to be able to see that the “other” exists. If that’s not clear—self-understood—they simply won’t be able to give. So, if parents see that their child exhibits narcissistic qualities, that he has a hard time seeing the other person, it would be wise to tend to the matter, as this will obviously affect his future relationships. Of course, we can’t expect a young man or woman to be entirely selfless. In fact, that’s the reason we get married—to toil in this area and reach higher levels of giving—but a basic foundation of the ability to give is a critical component even when starting out. When selfish tendencies exhibit in the extreme, it’s important to tend to them before marriage. If an already married individual notices these tendencies, it’s never too late to address them so that a more fulfilling relationship can develop. When a yungerman recently asked me for tips in marriage, I asked him to list three things his wife likes to do. His reply was, “How should I know?” I asked him how long he’d been married for, and his answer was nine and a half years. This individual has been living with his wife for nine and a half years and he doesn’t even know one thing that she likes. In most cases, this is not intentional. This yungerman is a very chashuv talmid chacham, but he simply never exercised these muscles of seeing the other. It’s a vital element in forming a healthy, fulfilling marriage.

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Which deficient attributes or traits are considered “normal” and will naturally improve as the individual matures? Mrs. Chani Juravel, LCSW When a friend of my mother a”h voiced her concern that her child was “so young” when he started dating, my mother assured her that “that’s a mum oveir,” a fault that will pass! We all grow up and mature. If the core standards and traits are there, and the desire to make it about the other is real, chances are that your child will grow into the role and do okay. That’s assuming your child wants to be married. Pushing someone to the next stage without understanding their hesitation is unfair and will probably have consequences. Also, there may be a trait or behavior that a child is working on and hasn’t mastered yet. If he or she is on a positive trajectory, that may not be an impediment either. A relative of mine who was already engaged once asked me, “How long do I have to be married before I’ll really want to give my wife the better steak off the grill?” He was prepared to do it but wasn’t yet feeling like he wanted to. He was always working on becoming more selfless, and his awareness was impressive. We can—and should—still get married as works-in-progress. That’s a lot different than someone who never owns misbehavior or is in the habit of blaming, justifying, or explaining negative behaviors away.

Rebbetzin Basie Rosenblatt, LCSW I believe one area where young men and women grow into their role is in regard to the responsibility of running a family. This includes developing financial responsibility in addition to carrying the burden of managing the home. A young adult is usually not prepared to take on all the details of running a household and all that that entails. She may not be the most organized person even ten years in, but it’ll grow on her. We can’t be prepared for everything at the tender age of 19 or 20 (or ever!). However, with the added responsibilities that gradually develop as life moves on, we learn to navigate the new territory. If the emotional piece is healthy and with the support of the spouse—which is paramount—the individual slowly learns not only how to manage their life but also how to be more selfless and giving 96

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Rabbi Ezra Friedman We obviously can’t expect young adults to be fully developed and mature. On the contrary, a healthy person develops organically—as long as the solid ground is in place. Experience has taught that not always do those young men or women who appear perfect when they’re in shidduchim turn out to be the most wholesome spouses. Every healthy individual entering marriage knows that there’s place for growth, for learning. It’s very normal for a young adult not to be entirely other-centered. At the start of Creation, Adam HaRishon, the first person to get married, was a lone creature in this world. Then, his wife came along, and he had to learn to give to her. While it’s nice when our children are more sensitive and see the needs of others, it’s normal for them to exhibit a sense of self-centeredness, in moderation. Through exercising their giving muscles in marriage, their giving side will come forward and shine.

Now What? Acting upon our honest assessment By Shiffy Friedman Suppose parents summon their reservoirs of awareness, intuition, wisdom, and courage (it’s pretty uncomfortable to meet those feelings of failure, among other emotions, lurking beneath the surface) and they reach the conclusion that their child is exhibiting signs that they’re not yet viable for marriage. What’s a good approach to “tending to” the issue? Our immediate response might be to send or take the child for help. That may be an important intervention, but, in most cases, if we want to repair the issue from its core, more benefit will probably result from exploring our place in this picture with a wise and caring third party. This is a helpful piece of information for all parents, especially for those who can’t imagine their child opening up about their issues. Whether the child clearly expresses resistance toward intervention, possibly countering that they don’t see a reason for it at all (“What’s wrong with me? I’m perfect!”), or the parent notices that current intervention isn’t facilitating any improvement at all, parents can benefit from knowing that even if the child doesn’t seek the counsel of a third party, if the parents do, incredible change can take place, with the help of Hashem. When parents take the courageous step of discussing the situation with a third party, they are best off coming into the process with a focus on “us” as opposed to “him/her.” Sure, they should explore every avenue to help their child, but then they should designate time to do the self work. During this time, instead of focusing on “How can we help our child?” more helpful would be “What can we do in within ourselves to ensure that we have what it takes to raise this child into the best version of herself?” Incredibly, when parents are willing to look inward, acknowledge where they’re at, and make an effort to implement changes that will affect their own marriage, parenting, and general being, the impact on even their young adult children will be pronounced. First, the improvement might be subtle, but with time, the hishtadlus will be’ezras Hashem pay off tenfold. Even in the case where a child exhibits no change at all (because every neshamah has its own

trajectory to travel), becoming more resilient, accepting individuals will give the parents the kochos they need to grow from their own nisayon. Several years ago, I wrote an article on this topic for another publication. In my couseling work, having seen what happens when young women bring heavy baggage into their marriage and how it impacts the relationship and their own emotional state, I urged parents to take the necessary steps of prevention as early as possible. One of the mothers who reached out upon reading the article shared that her teenaged daughter struggled with an explosive temper. Since I live in Eretz Yisrael and her daughter was about to start her seminary year here a few weeks later, we discussed the possibility of her coming to see me. It turned out that the daughter wasn’t ready for that avenue just yet, but over the course of our ensuing conversations, it became clear to this woman that she herself would benefit greatly from exploring some of her own issues. We did work together in the months ahead, and it was a learning experience for both of us. It is now about four years later, and this woman recently reached out to let me know how her daughter is baruch Hashem a changed person. She is now married, and so much of what her mother feared would transpire never happened. Most poignant of all was this courageous woman’s recognition of how her own work to become more present to her children, not so driven by a guilty conscience or resentment, enabled her daughter to feel more secure in her mother’s love, thus feeling more at peace. With the decline of her internal unrest came more tranquility and less anger. What a powerful observation! When we notice a deficiency in our child, it’s not always a matter of holding off on shidduchim. Often, the solution is to maximize the time until they get there to invest in ourselves so that by the time they’re ready to go under the chuppah, we’ve started tending to our own areas that need development. What an ideal pre-wedding gift— not only for our children, but also their spouses, future generations, and ourselves.

In addition to her work as a writer, teacher, and counselor, Mrs. Shiffy Friedman is the founding director of LAHAV, an initiative that spreads awareness about the pathways to connection, contentment, and inner peace through Torah. To receive her free thought-provoking messages on the topic or to learn more about LAHAV, please write to info@lahavinitiative.org.

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What can a parent do from when a child is young to prepare them for marriage?

Mrs. Chani Juravel, LCSW At a Shalom Task Force training years ago, I heard a powerful thought that really resonated. Quoting Dr. David Pelcowitz, the presenter explained that there are four traits that predict good relationships. Some are fortunate to be born with them, but we can do our best to learn and teach them, too: optimism, gratitude, the ability to depersonalize (not take everything personally and make it about “me”), and the ability to get “unstuck” (to put an issue aside and keep moving forward). I believe those are spot-on. Modeling real listening, empathy, being real with your feelings and how your child’s words or behavior makes you feel is so important. And helping the child be resilient even when life is tough and uncomfortable is critical. Learning to have pride in getting and growing through the harder times rather than being thrown by them or distracting yourself from them is one of the most important things our generation needs to learn, and when we model that as parents, we’re doing our best to make that happen.

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Rebbetzin Basie Rosenblatt, LCSW First and foremost is running a home that sets a good example—because children tend to follow that. Whether in areas of shalom bayis, relationships with in-laws, fiscal responsibility, and all other areas, they tend to go in our footsteps. In general, we all become our mother, whether to the negative or positive. We inherently do what we saw at home because that’s what we know. If parents are wise enough to be on their game and be cognizant that whatever they do now is an imprint for future generations, they will invest in the work. My belief is that we should make a kid the healthiest four-year-old they can be so that they can be the healthiest twenty-year-old when they get there. As we guide our children through their age-appropriate challenges, we help them cultivate skills for life. Instead of thinking of the future, we want to give them coping skills for what is commensurate to that age. We can take note of how they’re getting along with their friends and siblings, how they handle their belongings and responsibilities, address what we’re seeing and gauge if it’s age appropriate, and then work through whatever isn’t, so that by time they reach adulthood, they will have already mastered what was appropriate at each age. Also, it’s a good idea to teach kids about a healthy sense of entitlement: what they could expect, and what they can’t, helping them ascertain what’s healthy and what’s not. Every human being deserves to be treated with a certain sense of respect and value, and also to be giving and see the other. We want our kids to have a balanced understanding of these dynamics.

Rabbi Ezra Friedman The best gift a parent can give their child, in general, and particularly in preparing them for their own healthy fulfilling marriage, is to engage in their own inner work. The more a parent does so, working on their middos, becoming aware of their strengths and weaknesses, the better relationship their children will be’ezras Hashem have with their own spouse. Growing up in a home where the parents are working on their middos sets the most fertile ground for children’s ability to build solid relationships. The world says that children who didn’t witness a healthy marriage will at least know what not to do, but that’s easier said than done. It’s not only about knowing what not to do; it’s about having a solid core ground for building flourishing relationships, which happens when the nefesh is healthy. And the most important part in helping build this healthy nefesh is by providing the child with a loving, positive, safe, secure, and calm childhood—a direct outcome of the parent’s inner work.

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Rebbetzin Basie Rosenblatt, LCSW Dedicating time to communicate with our children is the best preparation for marriage—for both our sons and our daughters. Being available to them will help them be available to their spouse. It’s always a good idea to have conversations with our children, but especially when they enter the stage of shidduchim, we should be talking to them about it. It’s important to make ourselves available, even if we don’t have much to say.

Are there differences in traits parents should seek to cultivate in their sons versus their daughters? If yes, what are they?

Mrs. Chani Juravel, LCSW I’m not sure they need to be that different. Perhaps, being in a culture where boys have the “upper hand” in regard to shidduch possibilities, we need to inculcate more humility and less entitlement in their mindset, and to help define the “better” shidduch or the “best” boy or girl with more meaningful criteria. To some, shidduchim have become the equivalent of their first business deal and proof of their worth in very shallow, materialistic ways. By discussing with our children what’s truly important in a shidduch, and developing their humility and sensitivity to others, we can help change that perspective. 100

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A child should always feel that they’re being heard and listened to, whether they’re discussing what they’re looking for in a spouse or they want to rehash their dating experiences. There’s no more important thing a parent can do for a child than just being there for them, not necessarily with wise insights or direction, just to be available. “If you want to talk to me, I’ll be happy to hear you out.” That’s the sentiment we want them to feel, always. As a general rule, children will mimic the behaviors they observed, whether it’s being available to their own spouse and children, or in terms of particular roles or responsibilites in the relationship. Therefore, before focusing on the kids and how we can help them, we as parents should be looking into ourselves to see what kind of messages we’re conveying: about marriage, about relationships, about life, in general. And then, there’s also the piece about talking to the kids about shidduchim. As much as we might assume we know our children and what they would want, they need to feel that this is their space. It’s their life we’re talking about: What did you have in mind? What kind of person would you like to marry? Which qualities are most important to you? Where can you see yourself living? What do you want us to look for? If they don’t know, we can help them try to figure it out by asking good questions and having an open conversation. A young woman might say, “I don’t know if I’m ready to support someone in learning.” Before turning this into an argument, we may want to ask, “Is this a value? What does learning mean to you?” Helping them figure it out and understand the value of what they want is key in guiding them toward their bashert. Another piece that both our sons and daughters can benefit from understanding before their marriage is the need for privacy. They may be viewing marriage with a slightly unrealistic perspective, emanating from misconceptions about closeness and relationships. They need to know, for example, that there will be times when their spouse will need their space, and times when they will need theirs. That’s perfectly healthy and not a reflection of distance at all. Most of all, it’s important to remember that we all bring who we are to the table. If we struggled socially growing up, those struggles will go along with us, perhaps manifesting slightly differently, but there nevertheless—which is why shoving things under the rug never works. Any behavior or trait that presents as challenging in their current life should be dealt with to avoid unnecessary agmas nefesh later on and to enable them to build a healthy marriage.

Rabbi Ezra Friedman A profound difference definitely exists between the makeup of males and females, and being aware of that can help us develop certain important traits in our sons, and others in our daughters. For starters, Hakadosh Baruch Hu created man as the mashpia, the giver, while the woman is the mekabeles, the receiver. He designed the briah that a woman, like the moon, absorbs the light of her husband, who’s like the sun with its masculine properties, and she shines that forth. In other words, her light is a reflection of her husband’s. Since a male’s essence is to be the mashpia, primarily in his home, the main focus to cultivate in our sons is the koach of nesinah, of true giving. That’s what makes them feel whole, fulfilled, and successful. The lashon kodesh term for marriage, nisuin, refers to this element in the husband-wife relationship. Its root, nasa, conveys the husband’s place as “holding” the wife, carrying the burden of the home. How can we raise our sons to be givers? As counterintuitive as it seems, the answer is to give them what they need. More than persuading kids to share (which rarely yields the desired results) is to provide them with their needs. When an individual feels secure in their own place, that their needs are met, they’re willing to share from their “wealth,” and they don’t feel threatened when others have too. When they’re not starving for their own needs, they can fargin and are able to see the other’s needs. When we provide a son with his needs—physical, emotional, and otherwise—we nurture his ability to give. Since a woman’s place in marriage is as the receiver, developing the capacity to receive in our daughters can go a long way toward facilitating a healthier marriage. As much as receiving, as opposed to giving, sounds passive and easy, it’s actually no simple feat. Receiving shouldn’t be confused with taking, as they are not the same at all. In fact, they’re opposites. Taking emanates from a place of neediness, where the individual feels so deprived that

they cross boundaries to draw from others what they’re not ready or willing to give. Receiving, on the other hand, takes place when the recipient is so full within that they’re easily able to recognize their need for a relationship and for the love and support of the giver. True receiving, Rav Dessler teaches, is a form of giving. By allowing you to be my giver, I am granting you the opportunity to fulfill your role in the relationship, which fills both you and me. How can we raise our daughters to be receivers? Being an effective receiver is not only about saying “Thank you.” It’s about accepting the giver’s gestures toward a relationship graciously, with genuine hakaras hatov. The essence of receiving is vulnerability, feeling comfortable to be in a place where we need the “other.” It’s about being able to admit and communicate that “I need you in my life.” A healthy receiver is not afraid to feel indebted, because to them, needing the other is not a frightening place to be. This trait is an outgrowth of healthy self-confidence, and the way to build this critical strength in our children is through loving them unconditionally, giving them their space to express their feelings, and validating them. It’s a tall order, but when we do our best as parents, we will be’ezras Hashem merit raising confident children who feel perfectly comfortable just the way they are. At their root, healthy giving and healthy receiving are not very different. They both emanate from a wholesome sense of self that is neither afraid of losing out nor afraid of needing another. So while the two presenting traits appear opposite, both of them—and so, both our sons and daughters—require the same loving, secure upbringing to im yirtzeh Hashem facilitate the development of these important qualities. When a husband feels secure and fulfilled in his role as the giver, and the wife is able to be vulnerable with her needs and to receive from her husband, both of them are in their ideal place—and together, they can build a beautiful bayis ne’eman beYisrael.

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SHARP AD. SHARPER CHRAIN.

WELLBEING FEATURE

We offer your family so much more than variety. We bring you fresh, flavorful chrain made from nature’s finest. We serve it with our commitment to quality and kashrus that you rely on. But most of all, we offer you a selection of tasty food that you’re proud to present on your table.

FROM OUR FAMILY TO YOURS, A KOSHER'N PESACH 102

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APRIL 2023 / NISSAN 5783 / ISSUE 87

TASTES OF PESACH ELEVATE YOUR MENU WITH CHICKEN CROQUETTE SALAD

MY TABLE ONE STAPLE THAT'S OFF LIMITS ON PESACH AND HOW I SUBSTITUTE

DO THE DIP 5 NUTRITIOUS ADDITIONS TO YOUR YOM TOV MEAL

117 Rebranding: Beets By Malky Rosenberg

110 Creative in the Kitchen By Yossi & Malky Levine

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122 Do the Dip By Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

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SWAP By Yossi & Malky Levine

Out With That, In With This Wellspring Contributors

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EDITOR'S NOTE

Dear Cooks,

This issue’s My Table question is very relevant to me. Although I do opt for non-processed foods all year round, there are two basic staples in my diet that are off-limits on Pesach: rice cakes and corn cakes, which are my usual carb go-tos for breakfast and lunch. Even if our minhag is to eat a very limited selection of foods on Pesach, much of my meals look the same as they do all year because I generally fill up on proteins and vegetables. There’s a fresh salad at every meal, dressed in either oil and salt (no black pepper or any other spices for us!), and I cook lots of squash-based soups. But when it comes to the carb side, I used to get stuck. While potatoes work well with chicken and roasted zucchini, they’re simply not “breakfast” fare. Thus, like Shani Taub writes in her response, I end up washing quite often for breakfast on Chol Hamoed, and matzah gives me my carb fill. For lunch, however, I substitute corn cakes with lots of sweet potato. Whether roasted, sautéed, or baked, they make for a quick and easy addition to the meal. When I’m in the mood of spending more time in the kitchen, I do sweet potato and beet fries (just like Terra Stix or Heaven and Earth’s Veggie Sticks, a favorite around here all year long), and I toss them into a hearty grilled chicken or Greek salad (lettuce-based with lots of sautéed onion, cucumbers, red onion, and homemade mayo). I’ve packed up such salads for more Chol Hamoed trips than I can count, and they

always manage to be a really tasty and filling lunchon-the-go. Try it this year! Swapping sweet potatoes for rice cakes is my answer to the My Table question—but check out the feature to see the many varied responses from our valued contributors. It’s interesting to note how each one brings her own minhagim to the table, and I’m sure you’ll find something in there that works for you, too. In this issue, we’re excited to bring you a selection of creative recipes for all parts of your Pesach cooking, whether for the appetizer, soup, or main course. If you’re looking for a dessert that’s different and really tasty, Malky Rosenberg’s Pink Cashew Hazelnut Cheesecake will certainly be a hit at your Pesach table this year. Take it from me (we already did our taste testing back in Adar), the crust itself is absolutely delicious. Even if beets are not your thing (you really won’t spot a beet flavor in her fabulous cake) or if you don’t use the filling ingredients on Pesach, use the crust as a base for your favorite cheesecake or ice cream recipe. Whichever recipes you go with, don’t forget to have fun in the kitchen and to enjoy the special family time that Pesach offers! Wishing you a beautiful Yom Tov,

Esther

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Creative in the Kitchen

For some, Pesach cooking may feel like a daunting task, while for others it means cooking those traditional tried-andtrue dishes that have been in the family for years. For us, cooking for Pesach is a unique and exciting experience. Of course, there are the timeless family recipes we won’t give up on, but we love that the limited ingredient list actually helps us get creative about developing new dishes. We hope you get inspired too. Have a kasheren freilichen Pesach, Yossi and Malky

Recipes, Styling, and Photography by Yossi & Malky Levine

CREATIVE IN THE KITCHEN

Chicken Croquette Salad Enjoy serving up a beautiful plate on Yom Tov? These golden chicken croquettes make a perfect appetizer, light dinner, or even a quick snack.

Pulled Chicken

Avocado Crème

1½ lbs thick chicken breast

1 avocado

1 Tbsp garlic powder

1 Tbsp olive oil

1 Tbsp paprika

¼ tsp salt

1 tsp salt

1 garlic clove

2 Tbsp olive oil 2 Tbsp honey

Salad

2–3 cups chicken stock (to cover chicken)

Romaine lettuce

1 cup chopped almonds, toasted

Cherry tomatoes, cut in half Cucumbers, peeled lengthwise

Place all chicken ingredients except almonds in a Crock-Pot, cover with chicken stock, and cook on high for 4 hours or on low for 6–8 hours. Blend all avocado crème ingredients until smooth and creamy. When chicken is ready, use two forks to pull it apart. Use your hands to form 1-inch chicken balls. Roll each ball in toasted almonds until fully coated. To assemble, use the back of a spoon to smear a spoonful of avocado crème on the plate and place two chicken croquettes on each side of the smear. Fill the gap with smaller romaine lettuce leaves, sliced cherry tomatoes, and peeled cucumber ribbons.

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CREATIVE IN THE KITCHEN

Citrus Fennel Salad This salad is a burst of color, flavor, and texture. It’s refreshing and light, and since citrus fruits tend to be a household staple on Pesach, you can throw it together in minutes.

1 grapefruit 1 orange 1 blood orange 1 fennel, thinly sliced 1 avocado, thinly sliced ¼ cup pomegranate seeds 2 sprigs fresh mint Citrus Dressing 2 Tbsp lemon juice, freshly squeezed 2 Tbsp olive oil 2 Tbsp honey

Peel and slice all citrus fruits and arrange on a large plate. Scatter sliced fennel and avocado, and garnish with pomegranate seeds and mint leaves. In a small bowl, whisk dressing ingredients until well combined. Drizzle over salad before serving.

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SWAP

SWA P

By Yossi & Malky Levine

Potatoes

Zucchini

Although potatoes tend to get a bad rap when it comes to healthy eating, the truth is, they’re a nutritious and versatile vegetable. One concern with potatoes is that they’re often eaten in their fried form. Another is their high carbohydrate content. In general, foods high in carbs can cause a spike in blood sugar, which generates a short burst of energy, followed by feeling hungry and tired a short time later. However, pairing potatoes with foods high in protein, fiber, and healthy fats can slow down digestion time and lead to a steadier release of glucose into the bloodstream. Thus, it’s important to establish that carbs are indeed a necessary source of energy for the body and brain. That being said, on a Yom Tov like Pesach, when we are on a potato overload, it’s good to have some other options. Here’s where zucchini comes to play—a super healthy substitute with amazing texture and flavor. Zucchini has 3.6 times less calories and 4.8 times less carbohydrates than a russet potato. The carbs in zucchini are made of 71% sugar and 29% dietary fiber, whereas the carbs in russet potatoes are comprised of 89% starch, 7% dietary fiber, and 3% sugar. Zucchini is also a great source of vitamins, with 214% more vitamin C than russet potatoes(!), as well as being higher in vitamin A. Whenever possible, zucchini’s the way to go

Potato Squash Kugel Swapping half the potatoes in our kugel with zucchini was the best change we introduced to our Shabbos and Yom Tov cooking. The results were super moist and delicious. Think of zucchini as a secret ingredient to an amazing kugel!

2 large zucchinis, grated

Preheat oven to 375°F.

4 medium potatoes, grated

Place grated zucchini and potatoes in a large bowl.

4 eggs

In a separate bowl, whisk together eggs, oil, salt, and pepper until well combined. Add to grated vegetables and mix until fully combined.

¼ cup salt ¼ tsp black pepper

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Transfer to a lined 9x13-inch baking pan or Pyrex dish and bake until top is brown and crisp, about 1–1.5 hours.

The New Look of

Rebranding With Malky Rosenberg

This Month: Beets Ever wondered what gives beets their vibrant red color? The credit goes to plant pigments called betalains, which don’t only make beets beautiful; they are also a powerful source of antioxidants with anti-inflammatory properties. Beets are also a low-calorie, high-fiber food, making them a great and filling snack as well as a delicious and colorful salad component. Last Pesach, I attempted to make beet chips because I’d had enough of potatoes and eggs. I peeled and peeled and peeled perfectly paperthin slices with the highest of hopes of achieving the crispiest chips ever. To my dismay, 90 percent of them emerged from the oven burnt while the other 10 percent were chewy. I might have lost out on those chips, but this year, both beet recipes I experimented with yielded incredible results. None of them have the distinct beet flavor that some don’t appreciate, and they both lend something unique and different to the Yom Tov menu. These dishes may take more than 18 minutes to make, but they are so worth it.

Malky Styling and Photography: Pessy Piller

REBRANDING

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Beet Soup with Gnocchi I’ve never been a borscht fan, but this beet soup is perfectly light with a taste and texture that will appeal to all palates.

Soup

Gnocchi

24 cups water (1½ gallons)

4 white russet potatoes (2 lb.)

¾ cup red onion

2 eggs

13 raw small-medium beets

½ tsp salt

1 Tbsp lemon juice, freshly squeezed

2 cups almond flour

2 tsp salt

Black pepper

2 tsp garlic powder 2 tsp onion powder 2 tsp basil, if using 2 generous handfuls of frozen spinach leaves

In a large pot, bring water to a boil. Dice red onion and add to pot. Peel beets and add to pot, along with lemon juice and spices. Cook for approximately 1 hour and 10 minutes. Remove 8 beets when they’re still slightly hard but ready to eat. Cut into halves, and add salt to taste while still warm. Set aside in a separate bowl. Let rest of soup cook for an additional half hour or until beets are soft enough to be blended. Remove remaining beets from pot and allow to cool. Once cooled, blend in food processor. Return beet puree to pot along with sliced beets and frozen spinach leaves. Adjust spices according to taste. When ready to serve, add gnocchi to bowl. Serve hot. For the gnocchi: Preheat oven to 350°F. Prepare cookie sheet with parchment paper. Peel, slice, and cook potatoes on stove top until soft, approximately 30 minutes. In a bowl, add salt to potatoes and mash until smooth. Let cool (so the eggs don’t get cooked) and then mix with lightly beaten eggs. Last, add flour, and knead into a dough. Form dough into a ball and divide into 4 parts. Working with each one separately, roll out into 1-inch ropes and cut gnocchi-sized pieces. Place on prepared cookie sheet. Sprinkle with black pepper. Bake for 30 minutes.

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REBRANDING

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Pink Cashew Hazelnut “Cheesecake” Who doesn’t want a rich, savory, creamy dessert after all that matzah and maror? And it’s guilt-free too!

Crust

Filling

⅔ cup roasted hazelnuts

4 cups cashews

1 cup almond flour

½ cup cooked soft beets, chopped

2 Tbsp maple syrup

½ cup maple syrup

1 Tbsp coconut milk (or almond milk)

3 Tbsp lemon juice 1½ tsp salt 6 roasted hazelnuts

Preheat oven to 350°F. Line a 9-inch round pan with parchment paper. If using unroasted hazelnuts, pop them into the oven for 10–15 minutes, until roasted. In blender, grind roasted hazelnuts very finely, until a butter consistency is achieved. Remove immediately, before it turns into a liquid. In a small bowl, combine hazelnut butter with almond flour, maple syrup, and coconut milk until a dough forms. Press dough evenly into pan. Bake for 11–14 minutes. To prepare the filling: Soak cashews in hot water for 45 minutes to soften. In a food processor, blend cashews until creamy. Add rest of ingredients and continue blending. Feel free to adjust taste to your liking by adding sugar or salt. Once filling is ready, spread evenly on top of the crust. Top with hazelnut crumbs for garnish. Freeze for a few hours or overnight. Serve cold, but defrosted. Alternatively, you can refrigerate until chilled.

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TIDBITS

DO THE

DIP 5 NUTRITIOUS ACCOMPANIMENTS TO YOUR PESACH MEALS

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Dips are a great way to add nutrition and variety to a meal, without much extra effort. They can be used as spreads for matzah, dips for cut-up vegetables, or even as condiments to enhance a salad or protein dish, such as an omelet, burger, or piece of chicken or fish. A simple immersion blender—or sometimes no equipment at all—and basic ingredients are often all that a delicious dip needs, making it perfectly doable and simple for Pesach (for those who use these vegetables). Besides, if we want to tie this theme up with a bow, dips are so appropriate for Pesach—think karpas being dipped into salt water and maror being dipped into charoses. Below are 5 simple dip ideas with some of their nutritional highlights to enjoy this Pesach.

Olive Dip

Roasted Pepper Dip

With no cooking required, this dip is literally ready in minutes (or less). It is savory and filling due to its healthy fats, and it’s filled with disease-fighting antioxidants and nutrients such as vitamin E, copper, calcium, iron, and vitamin A. Simply use a can of kosher l’Pesach olives and blend with approximately one tablespoon of olive oil using an immersion blender (or other blender/food processor of choice). If the olive flavor is too intense, feel free to add a small amount of mayonnaise (homemade tastes best!) for a milder taste.

Exactly as it sounds, this dip just involves blending roasted red peppers. Wash and chop (and peel, if that’s your minhag) at least 3–4 peppers into large pieces, drizzle olive oil, sprinkle with salt, and then roast in the oven at approximately 400°F, until partly charred. Once ready, blend charred peppers together. Feel free to add garlic and some oil to enhance the taste. Keep in mind that the water content of the peppers varies depending on how charred they are—if you prefer a dip with a thinner consistency, roast peppers for less time. Red peppers are particularly high in vitamin C and provide other nutrients such as potassium and folate.

Eggplant Dip

Onion Dip

This dip is more like a mini salad but fits this genre as well, especially if it’s been sitting and marinating for a day or two. Dice an eggplant into small pieces, place on a cookie sheet or tin, drizzle with olive oil, season with salt and garlic, mix, and roast in the oven at 350°F. Occasionally, take out of the oven to toss and ensure the eggplant gets crispy on all sides. Once the eggplant is roasted and cooled down, mix in finely diced pickles and place in an airtight container with an extra drizzle of olive oil, and let marinate until served. Finely diced red pepper also works as a good add-in. Nutritional highlights of eggplant include the high amount of fiber and potassium.

Another simple yet delicious dip I often serve on Shabbos that yields recipe requests from my guests. Of all the dips on this list, this probably works best for those whose minhag is to use minimal vegetables. Dice some onions (the more, the better—I usually use around 5–6). Next, instead of heating a skillet and sautéing on the stove, I like to put the onions in a large disposable tin with oil drizzled on top, a sprinkle of salt, and a dash of brown sugar to help with caramelization. Cook in the oven, set at around 350°F, stirring and tossing occasionally. Once the onions look sautéed, add some mayonnaise to your preferred consistency, and that’s it! While you’re enjoying this onion dip, know that your body is also enjoying the abundance of flavonoids, which have been shown to decrease the risk of Alzheimer’s disease, in addition to vitamins C and B6, potassium, manganese, and copper.

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TIDBITS

Mediterranean Diet Linked to Increased Fertility The list of benefits of the Mediterranean diet is seemingly never-ending—reduced risk of cardiovascular disease, obesity, hypertension, cognitive disease, and diabetes, as well as promoting healthy aging and increasing life expectancy, to name a few. It is not surprising that new research suggests adding another benefit to the list: increased fertility.

Garlic Confit Also known as buttery soft garlic in oil, garlic confit is simple, delicious, and provides a powerhouse of nutrients. Commonly used in cooking for its strong taste and aroma, garlic has also been used throughout history for its medicinal and health properties. Sulfur compounds found within garlic are thought to supply its potent health benefits, including decreasing the risk of cardiovascular disease and boosting the immune system. To make garlic confit, place as many peeled cloves of garlic as you like in a tin or glass dish and cover with olive oil so the cloves are fully submerged; feel free to season with salt and pepper, and then cover tightly with foil. Bake in the oven at around 250°F for two hours or until garlic is soft and tender. (You can also roast the garlic on a higher temperature for less time, which will free up your oven sooner.)

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD, is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Self-Care Enthusiast on a mission to help women reach their ultimate health and wellbeing potential inside and out. She shares credible, clear, and inspiring nutrition information with women via her virtual private practice. To contact Esti with feedback or inquiries regarding her nutritional services, please email her at: esti@estiashernutrition.com or visit estiashernutrition.com.

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The Mediterranean diet, which emphasizes fruits, vegetables, and legumes, naturally has an anti-inflammatory effect on individuals following this diet pattern. Research shows that inflammation can affect fertility for everyone, and an anti-inflammatory diet (such as the Mediterranean diet) was seen to improve fertility outcomes. In contrast, individuals who followed a more typical Western diet, which includes a more than desirable amount of saturated fat, refined carbohydrates, and animal proteins (which often result in higher levels of inflammation) reported experiencing more challenges in this area. The researchers at Monash University in South Africa suggest that adherence to a Mediterranean diet is a relatively simple and cost-effective way to support reproductive health.

Increased Protein and Coffee/Tea May Decrease Risk of Women’s Hip Fractures For bone health, the recommended nutrients to focus on are usually calcium and phosphorus. Interestingly, a study from the University of Leeds in the UK suggests that adding 25 grams of protein (for example, 3–4 eggs, a piece of steak or salmon, or 100 grams of tofu), in addition to drinking regular cups of coffee or tea may help women decrease their risk of hip fractures. The research was based on a large observational analysis of more than 26,000 women ages 35–69. Participants filled out questionnaires about their diet and lifestyle, and their information was then linked to their hospital records. Besides for the extra protein, the researchers suggested that the polyphenols and phytoestrogens found in coffee and tea were also protective against hip fractures. With all the Pesach prep behind you, here’s another reason to treat yourself to a steaming mug of coffee or tea.

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THIS MONTH

In the pages of Wellspring, we share expert advice from some of the community’s most popular and competent dietitians and nutritionists. In this column, you get to see how they practice what they preach in their own kitchens. Pull up a chair at “My Table” and join the chat.

OUT WITH THAT, IN WITH THIS Which staple in your diet is off-limits during Pesach, and how do you substitute?

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I miss my whole wheat bread at breakfast. It helps me start my day off right. Instead, on Pesach, I opt for eggs with sautéed onions and some veggies with a coffee, and it does the trick. Yes, we are more limited for eight days, but there are plenty of other perks that come along with this wonderful Yom Tov.

Shani Taub, CDC

Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC

Compiled by Shiffy Friedman

Fiber One is a staple in my diet all year long, and on Pesach I use matzah instead. The perk? I wash and bentsh more often!

I miss my fresh chummus! I usually eat it as a snack with crunchy veggies or with my protein for dinner. On Pesach, I make a fresh garlic mayo instead. My kids love it too, and I use it on meats and fish. Mayonnaise, for Roasted Garlic Mayo 1 egg ½ tsp salt

Tanya Rosen, MS, CPT

Dr. Rachael Teichberg

Bina Gottdiener, CN, CHC

I can’t say any of my staples are missing, though I do miss broccoli, cauliflower, garlic, and fish! I try to get lots of alternative proteins, such as eggs, high-protein dairy, chicken, and lean meats. A scrumptious Pesach breakfast is toasted matzah topped with guacamole and crumbled feta cheese.

Rice is one of my favorite and easiest side dishes throughout the year. However, on Pesach, when our minhag is not to use rice, cauliflower rice is a great alternative I make every year. With this quick and easy recipe, you can enjoy it too! Riceless Rice Olive oil cooking spray

1 tsp lemon juice (from fresh lemons only)

1 small onion, chopped

1 cup olive oil, plus more for roasting garlic

2 cubes frozen garlic

Garlic cloves

14-oz bag of riced cauliflower

1 stick celery, thinly sliced 3 cups sliced mushrooms

Ezekiel bread is something I love and can’t have over Pesach, but I’ve learned to do my best with what’s available and try to be flexible. I substitute with all different potatoes, spelt matzah, quinoa, and butternut squash.

Roast garlic cloves with olive oil in the oven for an hour and place in blender. The combination is insanely amazing.

Sheindy Ungar, CDC

Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

⅓ cup water In a blender on high speed, mix egg, salt, and lemon juice. When mixed well, pour in one cup of olive oil very slowly from the hole on top of the blender. The mayonnaise will become emulsified (solid) within a minute.

On Pesach, we use minimally processed foods and ingredients— and that’s what I do all year round too. So, I don’t feel I’m lacking anything in particular over Pesach.

Kosher l’Pesach soy sauce, to taste 2 cups spinach 1 frozen parsley cube Salt and pepper, to taste Spray a large pan with olive oil spray. Add onions and celery and cook until tender, about 5 minutes. Add garlic cubes and cook for 30 seconds. Add mushrooms and sauté until cooked through. Add cauliflower rice, water, and soy sauce. Allow cauliflower rice to absorb water. Cook until soft but not mushy. Add spinach and parsley cube and cook for 2 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

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My staple that’s offlimits for Pesach is frozen vegetables. They’re just so convenient! On Pesach we only use vegetables that can be peeled, so cauliflower, broccoli, green beans, etc., are out, and we use root vegetables instead. My Favorite Pesach Vegetable Dish

Sauté onions, add thin slices of squash and carrots. Season with salt and pepper. Cook covered, low and slow, stirring periodically until the vegetables are nice and soft.

Veggie Slaw 2 Tbsp oil 1 onion, sliced into half rings

Traditional “Kraut Lokshen� Onions, sliced

2 cloves garlic, crushed

Kohlrabi, shredded

3 carrots, shredded

Salt and pepper

1 large zucchini, shredded

Egg lokshen (egg crepes, cut into thin strips)

2 parsnips, shredded Salt and pepper, to taste Sauté onion and garlic until translucent and fragrant. Add shredded veggies and sauté, allowing their liquids to evaporate. Season to taste. This can take around 30–40 minutes; give it the time it needs for really delicious results. You’re left with a colorful and delicious cooked “slaw.” Serve warm.

Sauté onion until translucent. Add shredded kohlrabi and season with salt and pepper to taste. Cover and cook, low and slow, giving the kohlrabi the chance to really soften and the flavors to blend. Mix periodically so it doesn’t stick to the pot or burn. Mix into the egg lokshen. This can be prepared in advance and reheated before serving.

Shira Savit, MA, MHC, INHC

W M I We are ultra-traditional on Pesach, with everything from scratch and lots of “offlimits” foods. Vinegar is off-limits, as are all vegetables that can’t be peeled. We end up using fresh lemon juice to dress all types of salads, which is really refreshing, especially over plain leafy greens. Veggie side dishes consist mostly of kugels, but my mother-in-law makes a scrumptious cooked veggie slaw, which is a staple in my supper rotation all year round.

Bashy Halberstam, INHC

Chaya Tziry Retter, RDN, CPT

MY TABLE

In Israel, there is no almond milk on Pesach and since I don’t drink cow’s milk, almond milk is my go-to for coffee, smoothies, baked goods—basically, I use it a few times a day! So, a few years ago, I learned how to make homemade almond milk. It really wasn’t as complicated as I expected. My kids enjoyed using the cheesecloth to strain the almond milk out of the blended almonds. The homemade almond milk tasted so good that when Pesach was over, I actually continued making it for a while on my own instead of buying it from the store. Here’s one recipe for almond milk. (source: www.thekitchn.com) 1 cup raw almonds, preferably organic 2 cups water, plus more for soaking Sweeteners, such as honey, sugar, agave syrup, or maple syrup (optional) Place almonds in a bowl and cover with about an inch of water. They will plump as they absorb water. Let stand on the counter, covered with a cloth, overnight, or refrigerate for up to two days. The longer the almonds soak, the creamier the almond milk. Drain the almonds from their soaking water and rinse thoroughly under cool running water. At this point, the almonds should feel a little squishy if you pinch them. (It’s best to discard the soaking water because it contains phytic acid, which inhibits the body’s ability to absorb nutrients.) Place almonds in blender or food processor fitted with blade attachment and cover with 2 cups of water. Pulse the blender a few times to break up the almonds, then blend continuously for 2 minutes. The almonds should be broken down into a very fine meal and the water should be white and opaque. (If using a food processor, process for 4 minutes total, pausing to scrape down the sides halfway through.) Line a fine-mesh strainer with a cheesecloth, and place over a measuring cup. Pour almond mixture into strainer. Gather the cheesecloth around the almond mixture and twist close. Squeeze and press with clean hands to extract as much almond milk as possible. You should get about 2 cups. Taste the almond milk, and if a sweeter drink is desired, add sweetener to taste.

Note: As with all Pesach recipes and suggestions, keep in mind that each contributor has her own minhagim. 128

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ORGANIC & LO

W-GLYCEMIC

SWEETENER

ER KOSH FOR

PESACH

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‫כשר לפסח‬

The

Sweet

Truth

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HOLISTIC

C I T S I L O H Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC

Nutritional Health

The Net-Carb Equation While low-carb diets can be beneficial for some, there’s no reason for most to avoid nourishing high-carb foods. Foods like quinoa, oats, buckwheat, bananas, and sweet potatoes can have a higher carb content but are actually an excellent choice, health-wise. If you’re watching your carbohydrate intake, it’s the net carbohydrate, not total carbohydrate, that has the potential to increase blood sugar. Since the body doesn’t digest and metabolize fiber like other carbohydrates, you can subtract the grams of fiber lumped into the overall carbohydrate count on food labels. That means a higher-carbohydrate food that’s chock-full of fiber can be a great choice. In fact, fiber helps slow down the absorption of the simple sugars you’re trying to avoid. Fiber is just what it sounds like: fibrous, rough, and strong. For this reason, digestive enzymes can’t easily break fiber into simpler carbohydrates, which makes it difficult to absorb and digest. Your body passes what it can’t digest through the gastrointestinal system, adding bulk without calories. Because fiber doesn’t absorb like other carbohydrates, don’t count it in your overall intake of carbohydrates. Simply put, what doesn’t absorb doesn’t count. For this reason, it’s a good idea to pay closer attention to a food’s net carbohydrate—the food’s total grams of carbohydrates minus grams of fiber. Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC, a graduate from Mercy College and IIN, runs her functional medicine– based nutrition practice in Toms River, New Jersey, and virtually. Shaindy has tracks for teens, nursing and pregnant mothers, and women peri/post menopause, and tracks for women suffering from hormonal issues. She can be reached at 347.228.1198 or via her website at www.benefithealthprogram.com.

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“Sciatica” is the diagnostic term for compression of the sciatic nerve and the pain that travels along it. This nerve starts in the lower back, passes through the piriformis muscle in the gluts, then runs down the back of each leg. This nerve controls the muscles of the back of the knee and lower leg. It also provides sensation to the back of the thigh, the outer and back part of the lower leg, and the sole of the foot.

Dr. Chayala Englard

Women’s Health

Treating Sciatica

Compression can occur from a herniated disc, bone overgrowth, sacral and pelvic shifts, and/or muscular tightness. Sciatica is common in pregnancy due to the change in hormones, increased fluid, weight gain, and postural transition. Treatment includes better footwear, pelvic support, postural education, massage and stretches (especially the piriformis and glutes), and the introduction of gentle core-strengthening exercises. A patient favorite is to sit on a tennis ball and massage out the piriformis muscle, which in turn will decrease sciatic nerve compression. Chayala Englard is a proud wife, mother, and Doctor of Physical Therapy. Her private practice, Life PT, is located in Lakewood, New Jersey, and is primarily focused on women’s health and pelvic floor rehab.

One of the deeper discrepancies between chametz and matzah offers insight into the sense of freedom we can experience on Pesach, zeman cheiruseinu. In his commentary Haamek Davar, the Netziv teaches that while matzah forms without significant human input or creativity, chametz necessitates human interference, and thereby epitomizes human involvement in nature. Matzah aptly symbolizes the journey of the nascent Klal Yisrael, who started out completely dependent on the mercy of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, who took them out of Mitzrayim Himself, with His own hands, as we read in the Haggadah, “Ani velo malach…”

Shiffy Friedman

Spiritual Health

The Freedom of Matzah

Matzah is known as the “bread of faith,” and the prohibition of chametz on Pesach enables us to strengthen our “matzah mindset”—the belief that we are completely in the hands of Hashem, that no human interference is necessary to bring us the salvation we seek. When we live with this belief, when we feel it in our bones, we experience cheirus. This is the light of hachna’ah, of letting go. When we raise our hands up in surrender, acknowledging that Hashem is the One who runs the show, we feel liberated. It’s the one and only way to truly fill the need of our nefesh for safety and security. It enables us to feel safe in His embrace, knowing that it’s not our human doing, only His, that will take us on the precise journey we’re destined to travel. In addition to her work as a writer, teacher, and counselor, Mrs. Shiffy Friedman is the founding director of LAHAV, an initiative that spreads awareness about the pathways to connection, contentment, and inner peace through Torah. To receive her free thought-provoking messages on the topic or to learn more about LAHAV, please write to info@lahavinitiative.org.

Perel Kahan, RD, CDN

Pediatric Health

It’s Meal Time! Similar to bedtime, having a meal schedule and routine creates a positive impact in your child’s life. Grazing or snacking all day with no set schedule for food keeps kids full enough throughout the day that come mealtime, they aren’t hungry or interested in eating. By allowing kids to feel hunger, they’ll be more open to eating the food served at meals and they’ll figure out how much food their body needs to be full. A general schedule can be three meals plus a snack between each meal (two a day). Modify to make it work for your family and adjust when necessary to keep up the routine. Perel Kahan, RD, CDN, is a Brooklyn-based pediatric registered dietitian and certified dietitian-nutritionist who practices and lives with an intuitive eating mindset. That means broccoli, whole grain sourdough, and chocolate chip cookies are in regular rotation at her house! She can be reached at kahanperel@gmail.com.

If you’re a health practitioner and would like to contribute to this column, please write to info@wellspringmagazine.com. WELLSPRING / NISSAN 5783

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