To Be Seen

f the most beautiful moments I look forward to every time we travel to the States—and our next trip is very soon—is when I get to meet in person the women I do inner work with over the telephone. As a “hand-holder” for women on their emotional journey, I’ve been blessed to meet a gorgeous segment of Klal Yisrael’s warriors, women who find it within themselves to embrace the life Hakadosh Baruch Hu chose for them. While their issues run the gamut, in our conversations together we often reach the same place: How can I stop resisting and start accepting the circumstances of my life so I can finally be at peace?

While it is most constructive to have these sessions in person—especially the powerful moments of silence within them—since I’m in Eretz Yisrael and a large percentage of the women I work live on other continents, many of our conversations take place over the phone. But when I do land on their side of the globe, it’s most exhilarating to sit down, face-to-face, and experience a few moments of connection.

The last time I was in the States, my schedule couldn’t accommodate a full session with one of the women I work with. But because this faceto-face meeting exponentially enhances the work we do together, we went for the second best: a quick meet-up. For just five minutes, the two of us stood on a street corner, simply relishing the opportunity to see each other (“I didn’t picture you blonde!” “You look so young!”), and then to see each other—to look into each other’s eyes and connect more deeply. That in itself was so precious, because the eyes, we know, are the windows to the neshamah.

Truly seeing someone is a lot more than merely making eye contact. It’s about looking into their soul, seeing the greatness that might be concealed even from themselves. Even more so, when we’re present to another, through our eyes we can shine forth our own centeredness, our own presence, and that can provide great comfort. In this issue’s illuminating Cup of Tea, physical therapist Moishe Kellman gives us a peek into the Floortime approach, aimed at helping children flourish. While the toys and games he plays with the kids are important, he notes that it’s the practitioner being present to the child that matters most of all. With his eyes upon the child, seeing in him what he might not be able to see in himself, the practitioner gives the child the permission he’s longing for: to just be as he is. What a gift! And this is a gift, Mr. Kellman points out, that all parents can give their children. It’s a gift all of us can give anyone who comes into contact with us. t’s not only the young ones who yearn to be seen, to be noticed, to be appreciated for who they are. It is what all of us seek, adults included. In fact, as the Gemara teaches, it was the desire to experience this feeling that brought the Yidden to the Beis Hamikdash: “In the way that a Yid came to see [the incredible sights in the Beis Hamikdash], so he came to be seen” (Chagigah 2a). Because when we’re seen by Hakadosh Baruch Hu, when we feel His love upon us, everything is all right.

In galus, in a world of hester panim, this is what we lack most of all. Hashem’s eyes are always upon us, but life in galus makes it harder for us to feel seen. So while we won’t stop davening and hoping for the geulah to come very soon, we can make it a priority to notice Him in our lives. By doing so, we can feel a taste of geulah, the nechamah we seek, even as we wait.

May all of us experience the consolation we yearn for.

Wishing you a beautiful Shabbos Nachamu and an enjoyable remainder of your summer,