Wellspring Issue #94 by The Wellspring

Cup of Tea

Narrative therapist Batya Jacobs teaches clients to view their story from a new point of view

NOVEMBER 2023 // CHESHVAN 5784 // ISSUE 94

OT @ Home Understanding PTSD

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My Table Our go-to veggie side

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Carry Me Through This I was anticipating the birth of my baby, and then I was diagnosed with leukemia

“Mommy , I’m So Afraid!“

What’s a parent to do when a child exhibits intense emotion? Unprocessed Emotions Don’t Go Away

By Shiff

DIY Bach relaxation blend to calm those taut nerves

FYI Stiff Neck Relief

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Torah Wellspring For us Yidden, every nisayon is an opportunity for song

Take That Sitting Down 7 fitness moves that work for those who can’t be on their feet

Warm Up 6 teas and their nutrition facts

Community Any suggestions for safe and effective mold removal?

Sample How the Sarno Method Targeted My Pain Part II

Midnight Munchies I wake up so hungry that I can’t fall back asleep

Swinging in the therapy gym. Listening to a story. Learning colors and numbers. These are just some of the joys Shimi experiences at The Hamaspik School. While this learning is impressive, for The Hamaspik School, it’s not enough. A rich Yiddish curriculum, run by a dedicated teacher, teaches the boys to read the aleph-beis. The beautiful siddur play tops off the joy, celebrating that each child can now daven from a siddur on his own.

It’s the extra mile like The Hamaspik School siddur play that makes all the difference.

926 Bedford Avenue · Brooklyn, NY · 718.408.5444

The Hamaspik School hosts a full general studies curriculum as well as a complete after-school Yiddish program geared to children with Down Syndrome..

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COPY & RESEARCH

Editor In Chief Shiffy Friedman Deputy Editor Libby Silberman Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Bashy Halberstam, INHC Shaindy Oberlander, INHC Shira Savit, MA, MHC, CHC Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC

Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC Esther Fried, PFC Child Development Advisory Board Friedy Singer, OTR/L Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L Coordinating Editor Liba Solomon, CNWC Feature Editors Rochel Gordon • Rikki Samson

$99.00

Proofreaders Faige Badian • Meira Lawrence

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The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.

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LIGHTEN UP YOUR POSTYOM TOV DIET JOURNEY

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EDITOR'S NOTE

For This I Am Grateful

ver the past half year or so, I had the tremendous pleasure and merit of teaching a series on Mesilas Yesharim on the Inspire By Wire phone line, titled “Journey Inward.” Over the spring and summer months, we moved through the powerful teachings of the Ramchal (only scratching the surface!), and then I was scheduled to deliver the final shiur—our grand siyum—right before Sukkos. I had already prepared a thought-provoking class on how to find our unique path toward living our Yiddishkeit (actually related to the topic I discussed in this space last month) and that only by discovering that key can we unlock our greatness and feel alive. As it would be a class most women would hear either right before Yom Tov or on Chol Hamoed, I included various Sukkos-related themes in the lesson. But then, for a variety of reasons—including lots of guests from overseas baruch Hashem, and my need to do it “just so”—I didn’t end up recording the class. “I’ll do it immediately after Yom Tov,” I told myself. “On the first morning the kids are back to school, I’ll get this done.” Well, rabos machshavos belev ish. The first morning turned out to be at least two weeks later. In the days after the heinous Simchas Torah attack, we were all left reeling. As the details came trickling in, there was so much pain, so much shock, and also so much numbness. And when I finally got a chance to sit down and record the siyum, which I had to restructure, I told the listeners that if Hashem had orchestrated that I teach this class now, this would be an opportunity to explore a relevant lesson for us in the nightmare Klal Yisrael had just experienced. Perhaps as a merit for those who were killed al kiddush Hashem we can have a stronger resolve to live our Yiddishkeit? Part of living life, as opposed to surviving life, is tending to the needs of the vessel that holds our neshamah so that it functions optimally. After all, the guf is the vessel for the nefesh and the nefesh is the vessel for the neshamah. But there’s more. It’s also about appreciating every moment we’re granted in this world and

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finding the beauty in it. Sometimes, this comes easily for us. Other times, as this issue’s illuminating Torah Wellspring explores, it really does not. What sometimes helps in times when we feel dejected or unfortunate is to remember those who have less, or a time in our own life when we were less fortunate. A valued contributor whom I’m privileged to call a friend—I’ve learned so much from her through our correspondence for this publication—recently shared with me the reason why she named one of her sons Yehuda. The pregnancy involved its fair share of stresses and scares, and she was confined to bedrest for a large chunk of it. When this long-awaited baby was finally born, my friend and her husband were so overwhelmed with gratitude that the name was an obvious choice. Hapa’am odeh es Hashem. And today, several years later, every time she ponders the meaning of her child’s name, she has a reminder to appreciate “regular life” right before her eyes. In her own powerful words, “As I hug my Yehuda, I’m reminded that everything in life is just another opportunity to recognize Hashem’s goodness, and to thank Him for it. Yehuda’s name serves as a reminder to be thankful for even the mundane activities I so badly wished to do during bedrest, like say Shema with my kids by their beds, give them baths, make them lunches, make my family dinner, and clean up the house—and, of course, for the even bigger berachos.”

wasn’t surprised to read that the protagonist in this issue’s Medical Saga, who was diagnosed with leukemia during her pregnancy with her seventh child, named her son Yehuda, as well. While Libby Silberman will be telling the story of this incredible woman in four installments, even in part I, a long while before the woman reaches the end of her saga, you’ll already notice some of the special “hugs” she experienced—because she made the effort to look out for them. In general, when we receive pitches for the Medical Saga column (pitches are always welcome, dear readers!), one of the attributes I look out for in the story is its potential to help at least some readers with their own medical mysteries. “This doctor helped me,” “That treatment was the answer,” “This was the diagnosis

we’d been seeking for years,” and so on. But when we accepted “Carry Me through This” for publication, the reason was entirely different. While no one should ever know of the pain and fear the protagonist experienced, what she offers us is a much-needed reminder about riding the waves of life while also taking a moment to be mindful of the gifts of blessed routine.

t a time when so many are experiencing sheer upheaval in their lives, we can’t get enough reminders of our own gifts. Just the other day I spoke to a woman who is spearheading a makeshift organization—that will hopefully close very soon—to provide the basics to families who’ve been evacuated from their homes. She shared that as much supplies as they’re getting, it’s simply not enough to cover the needs of so, so many. There are currently thousands of frum families living in government-allotted hotels (with no washing machines), or in temporary apartments all over the country with no schools, no income, and no idea how much longer they will call that cramped location home. Several of these stranded families have been placed in our neighborhood in Yerushalayim, and they have no choice but to accustom themselves to being full-time recipients of the kindness of others. I spoke to just one of these mothers this week and she shared how trying these times are for her and her family. The days carry on with no structure, and all the kids keep asking is, “When are we going home?” For many of these children, the place they once called home is all but a pile of rubble. Listening to even one such story evokes powerful emotion. And one of these emotions is gratitude—gratitude for what we’ve been blessed with, attributes of our life we may have taken for granted. But what can we do in addition to living our own lives with more appreciation and joy? The most powerful way we can help these displaced families, and all the families in Klal Yisrael that are desperate for a yeshuah and nechamah during this time, is tefillah—thanking Hakadosh Baruch Hu for the incredible chasadim in our own lives and pleading on behalf of those who would give anything in the world just to feel the pleasure of “boring” routine again. Wishing you all a peaceful, uneventful month until the coming of Mashiach, when we will finally gather together in our true home,

n a m d e i r F y f Shif

WELL- PUT “When we channel everything that occurs to us for good, to connect better to ourselves and others, every challenge becomes worth it.”

Batya Jacobs, Cup of Tea WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

CONTENTS

NOVEMBER 2023 CHESHVAN 5784 ISSUE 94 Our next issue will appear on Wednesday, November 29th iy"H.

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WELL INFORMED 10

Springboard

Spiritual Eating

Torah Wellspring

Health Updates

LIVING WELL 26

Fitness

Ask the Nutritionist

FYI

Community

Medical Saga

Sample

Cup of Tea

Serial Diary

60 DIY

82 69

SEASONED 8

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WELLBEING 62

Tap In

OT@Home

Inner Parenting

NEW SERIES!

FAREWELL 90 TorahHolistic Wellspring will return next month.

CENTER OF HEALTH. CENTER OF CARE.

Primary care Pediatric OBGYN Endocrinology Gastroenterology Optometry & Ophthalmology Nephrology Dermatology Podiatry Lyme Mental Health Pain Management Physical Therapy Occupational Therapy Speech Therapy

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SPRINGBOARD

On Sugar Addiction, Sarno Method, Strep Throat, and More

Balance Does Not Work for Everyone Issue #93: Editor’s Note

I’m writing to let you know how much I enjoyed the Sukkos issue of Wellspring. I used to buy the magazine at my local supermarket and have now decided to do a monthly subscription. I can’t always keep track of when the next issue will be on newsstands, and there’s simply too good content to miss. I actually had a similar question to the one Shiffy Friedman was asked, as she mentions in her letter. I too was wondering how you still have fresh content month after month. The answer she provided was so 10

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thought-provoking. In fact, as a member of a frum women’s compulsive eating group, I found the response to be very validating. There are many people who simply don’t believe that the concept of food addiction exists, and they can’t understand why moderation doesn’t work for me. At a simchah, for example, they might say, “Why don’t you have just a small slice of cake? It’s just a small piece.” But those who know know. No, the ideal of balance does not work for everyone. I’ve baruch Hashem been zocheh to be off sugar for almost five years now, and my life is a completely new one since I’ve embarked on this healing journey. I wish it for all my

fellow sisters who are struggling with addiction to sugar, and I encourage them all to do what it takes to find the support and group setting to make abstinence happen. Wishing you lots of further siyata diShmaya, F. Zenger

Every Word Is True Issue #93: Tribute

Thank you for a well-rounded Yom Tov issue. I appreciated the range and depth of topics covered. As always,

Quick Question

Question: I recently had a serious stomach virus—accompanied by diarrhea and vomiting—that left me feeling extremely weak. I was out of order for at least 48 hours, and I didn’t even have the strength to walk to the kitchen for a drink of water. What would you suggest for the next time this happens?

Answer: The intense weakness you describe is most probably as a result of dehydration. If you can’t keep any liquids down, drink Pedialyte or ginger tea, one ounce at a time every 15 minutes. Another option is ginger ale that contains no carbonation. Do not eat any foods beside toast, crackers, and tea in small bite sizes. Keep drinks and crackers near your bed. Here are some homeopathic remedies to help with diarrhea: • arsenicum • china • Gastric Flu (combination remedy for stomach virus) Apply two sprays under the tongue four times a day. It’s also helpful to inhale peppermint oil to treat nausea. To regain your strength, you may want to take the Bach remedies Olive and Hornbeam, three drops every hour. Take care, Miriam Schweid, Kinesiologist and Health Consultant

Wellspring delivers solid content with no fluff. Special shout-out to Miriam Frankel’s column, OT@Home. I’ve been implementing Miriam’s tips each month at home and have observed that my young children are a lot more integrated, more settled. Also, I was very touched by the tribute to Rebbetzin Yitty Neustadt. I knew her on a personal level during the blessed years that I lived in Eretz Yisrael, and every word in the moving article was true. The way the writer summed her up as “the role model for Torah-true femininity” couldn’t have been more apt. The most important resources for a Yiddishe mamme—in order, “sleep, hydration, and food”— should be framed and hung in every

home with young children. Thanks again, Rivky H.

Every Word Is True Issue #93: Sample

Finally! A comprehensive breakdown of the Sarno method. Thanks for printing this enlightening article of a powerful approach that I hope readers will try themselves. A few years ago, I suffered from a herniated disc that incapacitated me

to the extent that I only functioned on heavy painkillers. A friend of mine urged me to try the Sarno method. He sent me a long email detailing the method. He wrote to me, “I’ll bet you that two out of three yungeleit in your yeshivah have herniated discs as well, but in their lifetime, they’re not going to ever know it unless they took an X-ray. In other words, your body found a place to feel the pain, but you don’t have to feel the pain should you decide not to.” I took this message to heart and religiously practiced the method. I went to the local high school running track in the evening after Ma’ariv and did a round on the track, talking to myself while wearing a pair of

WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

The Doctor Is In

SPRINGBOARD

Question: My kids were sick with strep throat repeatedly last year. They needed so many rounds of antibiotics, and I wasn’t happy filling their little bodies with drugs again and again. I would like to understand why doctors prescribe antibiotics for strep throat. Can’t we just wait it out next time to see if it goes away by itself or with some honey, lemon, and turmeric?

Answer: painful collections of pus near the tonsils that may require drainage.

Doctors prescribe antibiotics for strep throat because it is caused by group A Streptococcus bacteria, and antibiotics effectively kill these bacteria. This helps reduce symptoms, shorten the duration of illness, and prevent complications. Antibiotics also decrease the contagiousness of the infection, reducing the risk of spreading it to others.

However, it’s worth mentioning that alongside antibiotics, supportive care can help alleviate the discomfort of strep throat. Natural remedies can be used in conjunction with prescribed antibiotics. Options like warm tea, honey, lemon and even “turmeric milk” (milk mixed with a little bit of turmeric powder) can speed up sore throat relief. Warm salt gargles, throat lozenges, humidifiers, and over-the-counter pain medication can also be helpful.

It’s important to emphasize that while some individuals may explore natural remedies for a sore throat, treating strep throat naturally is not recommended. The risks associated with untreated strep throat far outweigh the potential benefits of natural remedies. Untreated strep throat can lead to severe complications like rheumatic heart disease, deep throat infections, and more. Rheumatic heart disease is an inflammatory condition that can affect the heart, joints, skin, and brain, sometimes causing permanent heart damage. Rheumatic fever can happen weeks after a strep infection so it’s important to treat strep as soon as its diagnosed.

It’s important to remember that natural remedies may help manage symptoms and provide comfort but are not a substitute for antibiotics when dealing with strep throat. Strep throat is a bacterial infection that requires specific treatment to prevent complications. Seek medical attention, take the prescribed antibiotics, and consider using natural supportive care remedies alongside your treatment plan to help ease the symptoms and improve your overall comfort.

Strep throat can also cause peritonsillar abscesses,

Wishing you and your child the best of health, Dr. Jennie Berkovich, Pediatrician JOWMA Director of Education

AirPods so that no one would think I was crazy. I verbally acknowledged the stresses I was going through and anything else that came up for me. I told myself that there was nothing really wrong with my back, and my subconscious could release my back of the job of expressing my emotional “pain.” Within two weeks I was pain free, baruch Hashem. 12

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Refuah sheleimah to all,

the ValAsta intervention.

Across the Board

I would like to share my personal experience with the formula. I suffer from a serious case of arthritis that has been holding me back from life to the extent that I can’t function as a regular human being. Of course, I’ve been trying various avenues of healing but without success.

Thank you very much for featuring

I heard about ValAsta from a friend who had been helped by it for gout,

Yakov Shua C. Lakewood

Issue #93: Cover Feature

but I didn’t know the details. Until I read the article, I hadn’t realized it’s a formula that can heal a variety of ailments, and that even healthy people take it as a supplement for preventative health. After reading it, I called the number, and when I read the information leaflet given to me by a volunteer, I sensed that my constant tefillos—to be able to function again, to find relief from my pain, to stop being on medication that is barely helping—were answered. I’ve only been taking the formula since a few days before Yom Tov, but I’ve already experienced significant improvement. I’m in much less pain, I also have a lot more energy, and I’m sleeping much better. When I called the phone line, a volunteer told me that while a lot of people have seen quick results with arthritis, for some it could take longer. Baruch Hashem, I’m part of the former group. Thanks so much for spreading the word, Mrs. B. Damen Brooklyn, New York

Better and Stronger Issue #93: Cover Feature

I was delighted to see that you featured ValAsta in the past issue magazine. What a great mitzvah! Every Yid should try to tell others about this because they may just help someone to suffer less, feel less pain, and hopefully to even heal completely. A relative of mine who has cancer was suffering terribly from the side effects of immunotherapy. He was feeling so ill that he could no longer handle his treatments. Within weeks of taking ValAsta, all the side effects disappeared, and he’s feeling so much better and stronger. Baruch Hashem, his cancer is shrinking quicker than expected. May we only hear good news. Yasher koach, H. D. Editor’s Note: The personal accounts of users’ experiences with ValAsta are spreading by word of mouth. However, due to the sensitive nature of the accounts, Miriam is vigilant to maintain each person’s privacy— despite strong communal pressure to share—and has therefore been unable to publicize the stories. In last month’s feature article, Malya, the writer, shared a personal account,

“The Relief I’d Been Seeking,” told to her by her friend in Australia, who agreed to be featured anonymously. The account was not submitted by Miriam or any other volunteer.

PSA

Breakthrough Vitiligo Treatment We’ve recently gone through a rough path (excuse the pun) with vitiligo with one of our kids. Vitiligo is a skin condition that causes loss of color of skin in patches. The discolored patches grow with time and there is no known cause or treatment for this condition. We baruch Hashem learned of a breakthrough treatment that causes repigmentation of the skin by using ayurvedic herbs called bakuchi, and this has helped our child tremendously. For additional information I can be reached via Wellspring. Name Withheld Upon Request

Get in touch! Wellspring invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@wellspringmagazine.com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.

WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

SPIRITUAL EATING By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

Why Did the Malachim Eat? In Parshas Vayeira, we read of the three malachim that approached Avraham in the guise of travelers passing by in the heat of the day.

Avraham exhibited incredible chesed as he hurried himself and his family to prepare a meal and a place to rest for his guests—all this during the most painful period of recovery from his bris milah. “He took cream and milk and the calf that he had prepared, and placed these before them; he stood over them beneath the tree and they ate (vayocheilu)” (Bereishis 18:8). There are various ways to interpret the word “vayocheilu,” but according to the understanding that the malachim actually consumed the food, the obvious question is, why? Angels, unlike human beings, have no physical body and therefore no need for nutrition. What benefit occurred from their “digesting” the meal? Malachim get their nourishment directly from Hashem. They don’t require the intermediary of food in order to be healthy. We humans also draw all our sustenance from Hashem, but He created us in a way that we, as physical beings, need to receive our fuel in the form of food— the wonderful, enjoyable, and stimulating delivery system of our health and vitality. But there is an additional function to eating that we can in fact share with the

malachim. When a higher form of existence consumes a lower form, the latter is elevated to a greater spiritual level than it could have ever achieved on its own. Even though food—whether plants or animals—has inherent kedushah as Hashem’s creation, it is raised to a higher plane when consumed by a creature of a higher caliber. As the Shem MiShmuel explains, the korban doesn’t elevate the mizbeiach. The mizbeiach elevates the korban. Food doesn’t elevate Shabbos. Shabbos elevates food. That’s what the malachim did by “eating” Avraham’s meal. And that is what we do every time we eat: we take the limited spiritual potential of food and attach it to our more sophisticated and valuable mode of life. We take the worlds of the tzomeiach and chai and raise them to the level of medaber. Or do we? If a human lets his animalistic desires for self-indulgence dictate his behavior with food, is he in fact elevating the gift Hashem has given him to fuel his physical wellbeing and provide an opportunity for spiritual refinement? Or is he exploiting the occasion, and lowering himself and the food in the process? Malachim don’t have a choice. We do.

Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS, is the founder and director of Soveya and the author of the best-selling book Enough Is Enough—How the Soveya Solution Is Revolutionizing the Diet and Weight-Loss World, available on Amazon and at Barnes & Nobles and Judaica Plaza in Lakewood. He has worked with thousands of clients around the world and has maintained a 130-pound weight loss for the last 19 years. For more information about Soveya’s programs call 732-578-8800, email info@soveya.com, or visit www. soveya.com.

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TORAH WELLSPRING By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

Holding Our Hand

For us Yidden, every challenge is an opportunity for song

At one point in Nevuchadnetzar’s life, when things were going really well for him, he wanted to sing shirah to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. The Midrash tells us that this desire of his caused such an uproar in Shamayim— with the angels questioning whether his song was more beautiful than Dovid Hamelech’s—that Hashem sent malach Gavriel to slap him across the face. With that, the evil king was instantly silenced. 16

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At first, we would understand this to mean that the rasha’s desire to express gratitude through song stirred up a kitrug on high, and so an angel was sent to quiet him. But the Kotzker Rebbe explains it differently, in a commentary that encapsulates the supreme ko’ach of a Yid. Let’s take a look, just a glimpse, at the life of Dovid Hamelech, the ne’im zemiros Yisrael, to understand the Kotzker’s message. Years before Dovid

experienced the untold hardships he refers to throughout Sefer Tehillim, he was already an unfortunate child. Considered the “black sheep” of his family, he got a taste very early in life of the pain of rejection. Later, when Dovid was 15 years of age, Shmuel Hanavi came to Beis Lechem to seek out the future king of Israel in order to anoint him. But it didn’t occur to the sons of Yishai that their youngest brother Dovid was the one he was seeking. Perhaps Shmuel was looking for the eldest son, Eliav, who was tall and distinguished? Or the wisest? Certainly not Dovid, the denigrated one in the bunch, the one who tended to the sheep and played tunes on his harp. To those around him, Dovid was not the embodiment of Torah and leadership they imagined a king of Klal Yisrael to be. In fact, after Shmuel met Yishai's seven sons and still had no signal from Above to anoint any of them as king, he asked them, “Are these all the lads?” Shmuel prophetically chose the word “lads” as Dovid didn’t even have the status of a son! His status was insignificant even in the eyes of his father. Later, after Dovid married King Shaul’s daughter Michal, his fatherin-law was out to kill him. Then, when he was a father himself, Dovid’s own son Avshalom pursued him. These are just a glimpse of the travails the ne’im zemiros Yisrael endured in his short lifetime. Still, what was the question on Dovid Hamelech’s lips through all of this? What was he expressing with this harp? “Mah ashiv laHashem” (Tehillim 116), how can I repay Him for all the goodness He’s bestowed upon me? I’m so indebted to You, Hashem! Dovid Hamelech’s response to every tzarah was another mizmor, another kapitel. The soul-stirring psalms composed in his greatest hours of aloneness eloquently describe not

only his suffering and heartache, but more significantly, his faith and conviction. Says the Kotzker Rebbe, this ko’ach of enduring a profound tzarah and then not only drawing the strength to lift ourselves up again but creating a song through it—seeing the good in it, singing and dancing—this the ko’ach is unique to a Yid. A Slap, And then Silence With this introduction, we understand why when Nevuchadnetzar started singing shirah and the stirrings of a kitrug began, Hakadosh Baruch Hu instructed the malach to slap him. What was the message of that slap? The beautiful songs you intended to sing when things went well for you are impressive indeed. But let’s see what happens when you’re in a state of discomfort— when you’re slapped across the face, when you’re faced with a challenge. With just one slap, all his grand plans for an exquisite shirah came to a halt. What a kiddush Hashem reverberated in the Heavens! This, our proud Father conveyed to the malachim, is the gadlus of a Yid. We have this superhuman power in our lineage. Yaakov Avinu also grew up as the persecuted brother. Not only was he forced to buy off what was rightfully his, but he still had to escape his brother’s wrath for fear of being killed. Later, he was stripped of all his belongings as a “favor,” in order to remain alive. As we read in the upcoming parshiyos, Yaakov’s next stage in life was centered on strenuous work, first for one round of seven years, and then another seven. As the victim of grand-scale deceit, witness to the struggles of his beloved wife Rochel, then burying her in her prime and enduring the saga of Dinah and

then of Yosef, Yaakov Avinu was no stranger to tzaros. But what was the theme of Yaakov Avinu’s life? The line that tells of not only his resilience and gratitude, but also of his deep appreciation for everything he went through: “Katonti mikol hachasadim—I’ve become small from all Your kindnesses” (Bereishis 32:11). How indebted I am to You, Ribbono shel Olam! Lift Us Up This response, dear readers, is in our DNA. For millennia, through pogroms and expulsion and derision, we’ve endured one chapter of persecution after the next, and it’s fascinating to observe how the world’s most oppressed nation keeps emerging most empowered. We keep raising ourselves up again. We keep rising up in song. From where did our lamplighters summon this ko’ach? From where can we, their descendants, keep drawing this strength? It’s a matter of perspective. When I believe that the One who’s orchestrating the tzarah is doing so out of loathing or disapproval, it leaves me feeling abandoned, lost and alone. In that state, I can’t pick myself up again. But when I understand and internalize that it’s just the opposite, I am able to connect to Hakadosh Baruch Hu through the challenge. I’m able to feel His love in it. When Klal Yisrael expressed fear that Hakadosh Baruch Hu would speak with them directly, Moshe Rabbeinu responded, “Have no fear, Hashem has come ba’avur nasos eschem, in order to exalt you” (Shemos 20: 17). “Nasos,” which shares the root of the word “nisayon,” a challenge, reminds us of the purpose in everything we endure: it’s a means through which Hash-

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TORAH WELLSPRING

em seeks to exalt us, to lift us up. Toward the end of the Torah, when Moshe Rabeinu prepares to depart from Klal Yisrael, he delivers a healing promise. Speaking of the nations, he urges the Yidden, “Be strong and be courageous; neither fear nor be dismayed by [the nations], for Hashem is the One who goes with you, lo yarpecha velo ya’azveka—He will neither fail you, nor forsake you” (Devarim 31:6). Commenting on this verse, Rashi offers an insight that’s a balm to the neshamah of a galus Yid. “Lo yitein lecha rifyon,” Moshe Rabeinu promised. The word “yarpecha” stems from the root “rafa,” meaning “weak.” In this context, Moshe told Klal Yisrael, “Hashem will not give you cause for weakness resulting from your being forsaken by Him.” When Hashem realizes that we’ve distanced ourselves from Him, He holds our hand tight in order to strengthen us. Like a father who holds his son’s hand firmly so he won’t run into the street, Hakadosh Baruch Hu will sometimes grip us tightly because He doesn’t want us to let go, holding on tighter and tighter as we try to break away. Just as this firm handgrip can feel uncomfortable or even painful, when Hashem holds us in this way, the experience may be excruciating. Yet if we recognize its purpose, if we see it for what it is, we can open ourselves up to unimaginable growth. If we look carefully, we watch this happen with every eis tzarah. During the actual blow, there’s so much pain, so much anguish. But afterward, Klal Yisrael experiences such an awakening. A shefa of clarity descends upon our world. How many people become strengthened in their emunah. Unlike any other nation that would be left feeling rejected, worthless, and abandoned during a period of turmoil or persecution, we feel our Father’s love more deeply. Our Avos drew their strength because their connection with the Ribbono shel Olam was real. They felt His Presence in their life at every turn. They felt His love for them, the 18

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He shuddered at first, but then he called out, “These pictures send a false message. Here in this image, we only see the gaunt face, the sad eyes, the pain and suffering. We only see half the story.”

imo anochi batzarah. Only Half the Story When Rav Shimshon Pincus zt”l was once shown an image from the Holocaust depicting an emaciated inmate in the infamous barracks. He shuddered at first, but then he called out, “These pictures send a false message. Here in this image, we only see the gaunt face, the sad eyes, the pain and suffering. We only see half the story. What we can’t see here is the other, more important part. Every Yid who was there in the inferno saw something else entirely. He saw two malachim, one at his right side and one on his left, protecting him through it all. They were his personal shemirah, sent to him directly by Hashem.” Of course, since we’re living in an olam hanistar, the clarity isn’t so stark. It’s a reality we must choose to see. But if we make that choice, we will see the batzar hirchavta li. We will see what Dovid Hamelech expresses so powerfully in Tehillim (4:2): “In my distress you have relieved me.” How does Hashem re-

lieve a Yid from His pain? In every tzarah he’s destined to endure, Hashem will send Him just what he needs to get through it. Even in the greatest calamity there is so much light. Later, one who experienced a nisayon might look back and say, “Wow, if not for that I wouldn’t have made it through,” but the sefarim explain that it’s actually the opposite. The reason you were sent the gift that enabled you to pull through was so you would have the capacity to endure the tzarah. That person who came into your life just when you needed him? The resources you had at your disposal? It was never in the plan that these wouldn’t be in place because Hashem arranged that you would have what you need to succeed. That’s the batzar hirchavta li for which Dovid Hamelech expressed his gratitude, because he had the clarity to notice it. Each of us in our own lives, if we choose to look out for it, can find the batzar hirchavta li—the ways in which Hashem is holding our hand, sending the right shlichim or support or strength at the right time. It reminds us that Hakadosh Baruch Hu

is looking after us, helping us find the way out so we can emerge from the rough patch with more ko’ach. Naturally, we’ve all been reeling and shell-shocked after hearing of the calamity in Eretz Yisrael. But even as we feel pained, we must not take the perspective we may naturally incline toward—which is that we’ve been rejected chas veshalom. Many people who were under the assumption that the calamity hit from Hashem’s wrath toward us expressed, “But we just did teshuvah! How could we have received such a blow?” The answer is just the opposite. Because we’re coming out of a month of avodah, a month of cleansing, we can channel this experience toward heightened connection with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Our supplies are fully stocked with the true ammunition—namely, our bitachon. Contrary to inciting fear, that such a devastating infiltration could occur despite the sophisticated defense systems in place should spur us to strengthen our belief in the One who’s truly in power. As the

Chovos Halevavos cautions in Sha’ar Habitachon, when we rely on a force other than Hakadosh Baruch Hu, He says, “If you rely on that, see what happens…” As ma’aminim, we know that “ein lanu al mi lehisha’ein.” And when we rely on Hashem, He shows us what He can do. What miracles and blessings we see in our lives! We’re Standing With Hashem Someone asked mori verabi Rebbe Nachman Biederman shlita, “What is the right thing to do if the siren sounds while I’m davening Shemoneh Esreh?” His answer was, “If you’re standing with Hashem, what is there to run for? Where would you want to run to? You’re right there with the Melech Malchei Hamelachim Himself!” Everyone should consult with their da’as Torah regarding this matter, but the underlying message speaks volumes. When a Yid lives with the knowledge and feeling that the Ribbono shel Olam is at his side, there’s nowhere he needs to run to, nothing

he seeks out as a source of comfort or security. It doesn’t take much to sing “Hamelech” in the air-conditioned beis midrash, to scream it at the top of our lungs when we’re feeling comfortable and secure. The nisayon of recognizing that He is King is in the battlefield—when our security feels threatened, when we feel afraid and uncertain of what the future holds. When we feel slapped across the face, so to speak, can we keep singing? Can we transfer our reliance onto Him? This is the nisayon. Now is the test and now is the time to test ourselves. How much do I rely on Hashem when we’re in the battlefield? May we be zocheh to see Hashem’s loving hand, His yado hatovah, and “shelo yishameir shod veshever bigvuleinu.” May this be the final blow, and may we grow from it and strengthen our connection until the time when we will feel Hashem’s Presence with no barriers, in the Beis Hamikdash, speedily in our days.

Rabbi Ezra Friedman is the Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivas Mekor Chaim in Yerushalayim.

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UPDATES By Bayla Brooks

Sharper Mind How a novel Chinese herb can help individuals age gracefully “I forgot,” “I can’t concentrate,” “Can you help me decide?” are common refrains from individuals who suffer from cognitive impairments. Cognitive impairment is when an individual has trouble remembering, learning new things, concentrating, or making decisions that affect their everyday life, and it can range from mild to severe. Roughly 15 percent of people over the age of 65 have mild cognitive impairment, and the risk increases with age. People living with the condition have a greater risk of developing Alzheimer’s or related forms of dementia. While some issues with memory may be normal as people age, those living with mild cognitive impairment (MCI) may encounter more difficulties than their peers. Treatment for cognitive impairment is limited. Medication is not very effective, and many times, drugs given intravenously can cause further deterioration later. A study published last month by the Alzheimer’s Association indicates that SaiLuoTong (SLT) may be helpful in improving 20

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memory as well as executive function. SLT is an herbal supplement that contains extracts including panax ginseng, ginkgo biloba, and crocus sativus L. To test the effectiveness of the supplement, the researchers enlisted 78 participants who were 60 years and older and had mild cognitive impairment. The participants were given either 180 mg of SLT every day or a placebo. The researchers reported that after 12 weeks, those who were given SLT had a statistically significant improvement in their logical memory delayed recall scores compared with those who were given the placebo. SLT was also found to improve performance in executive function. “Collectively, results suggest that SLT may be useful in supporting memory retrieval and executive function in people with MCI,” the study authors write. With intriguing results as these, the researchers are moving forward in studies to test the full functionality of this incredible herb.

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Think You’re Not a “Helicopter” Parent? New poll finds many are As children grow up, their desire to venture out on their own and gain some independence is only natural. A new national poll suggests that most parents say they’re fine with that. The problem? The poll highlights a significant gap between what parents say and what they actually allow, with many choosing to keep their kids on quite short a leash. “We wanted to see if parents are consistent between what they say and what they do with respect to fostering independence,” explains poll co-director Sarah Clark, a research scientist in the Department of Pediatrics with the Child Health Evaluation and Research Center at the University of Michigan Medicine. “We assumed there would be some gap, but we didn’t think it would be this big,” Clark admits. “There are a lot of kids who are not getting enough growth opportunities, but parents don’t necessarily recognize it.” As described in a recent issue of the Mott Poll Report, Clark and her colleagues enlisted more than 1,000 randomly selected parents for their survey. All were parents of kids between the ages of 5 and 11. Among parents of kids aged of 9–11, roughly 84 percent said they agree that free time without adult supervision is a good idea. Among parents of younger kids between 5–8, nearly three-quarters said they make a point of letting their kids do things on their own, whenever feasible. But did theory translate into practice? Not so much. Among parents of the 9–11 set, 58 percent let their child stay home alone for a half hour to an hour, and only half reported letting their child wander alone into another store aisle when shopping. In a similar vein, only about 40 percent said they let their child bike or walk to a friend’s house on their own. Less than a third permitted playtime in a park without adults present. Less than a quarter said they let their kids aged 5–8 talk to an adult stranger in a business situation, such as asking a store representative a question, while only a fifth let their child prepare their own food at home. Under a third said they leave spending decisions entirely up to their child, and less than half let their child talk to a nurse or a doctor 22

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on their own when going for a checkup. So, what’s with all the “helicopter” parenting? Though the poll did not, in fact, deploy this term in their questions, Clark says the biggest issue for independence-averse parents appears to be a “generalized worry that something bad might happen, leading them to believe that they must protect their child from hypothetical bad outcomes.” Indeed, the survey numbers bear this out, with more than half of parents raising tweens saying they’re worried someone might scare their unsupervised child, even though only 17 percent think their particular neighborhood is too unsafe for unsupervised activities. About a third also said their child simply isn’t ready to be on their own. Between 11–17 percent said that someone might call the police on them or judge them for being bad parents. Among parents of younger kids, motivating factors included concerns about child safety (44 percent) and/or a lack of child maturity (31 percent), or the belief that their child wants supervision (34 percent). About a quarter said they believed unsupervised activities would take too long or turn out not the way the parent wanted. “The second factor is parent awareness of a hypercritical climate, which again leads them to believe they must protect their child from bad outcomes,” Clark says. In other words, parents are striving to shield their kids from bullying. The problem is that all these well-intentioned reasons for wanting to micromanage youthful activities “may be unintentionally restricting their child’s path to independence,” the survey team concluded. “What many parents are missing,” cautions Clark, “is the recognition that over the long term, there are negative consequences to children not having sufficient opportunities to progress toward independence.” Unfortunately, she adds, “the consequences may not be apparent until young adulthood.” While every responsible parent wants to keep their child safe, independence can be healthy, in the right setting. The question is, will we let it happen?

I L E A R N I N KOLL EL

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Part

11 in a series

Demystified

Myth: Microwaving food is bad for you because it kills nutrients Fact: Do you experience a pang of guilt every time you swing open the microwave door? No more worries. Or less worries, at least. Microwave ovens heat and cook foods by stimulating their molecules, and this energy is then converted into heat. While it is true that microwave ovens produce electromagnetic radiation, there are many different types of radiation. Electromagnetic radiation is not associated with harmful types of radiation such as nuclear energy and it does not increase the risk of cancer. Even so, as a safety precaution, microwave ovens are made with shields and screens to contain the radiation within, where it’s needed. If the door is broken or does not close properly, consider replacing it. Furthermore, there is no scientific evidence to suggest that microwaving food reduces nutrient levels. In fact, all forms of cooking reduce the nutrient content to some extent, with the main factors being temperature, cooking time, and method of cooking. As microwave cooking times are generally shorter and use lower temperatures than other forms of cooking, this means less nutrients are lost from shorter heat exposure, and the minimal amount of liquid needed for microwaving food prevents nutrients from leaking out. To best retain the nutrients of your food, cover up the microwave-safe container or bowl with a minimal amount of water, so you’ll be essentially steaming the food from the inside. Be mindful not to add too much liquid or overcook the contents and be cautious of steam when you open the container. 24

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FITNESS

TAKE A SEAT 7 EFFECTIVE WAYS TO WORK OUT IN A SEATED POSITION

By Chaya Tziry Retter, RDN, BS, CPT Chaya Tziry Retter is a Monsey-based Registered Dietitian, ACE-Certified Personal Trainer, and group fitness instructor. She is passionate about helping others lead healthier lives in a way that suits their needs. She can be reached at 845-540-4487.

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Seated exercises are underrated. Of course, I strongly recommend that active teens and adults engage in fullbody workouts two to three times a week as tolerated, but there’s a huge population of those who for various reasons cannot take part in a full-body workout. This can be due to many factors, such as advanced age, injury, advanced-stage pregnancy, and doctor’s orders, and can be temporary or chronic. No matter the reason, there are always ways to incorporate movement into our lives. It is important to note that as with any exercise routine, injury can occur. It’s critical to complete these workouts in the presence of a trainer or an able-bodied companion to prevent injury. Use discretion when choosing a repetition, and always take a break if you’re experiencing pain. Here are 7 great starting moves:

1. SEATED JUMPING JACKS Sit up straight in your chair, with your knees bent and together, and your toes touching the floor. Bend your elbows and open your arms so that your palms are facing forward. In a motion that resembles a traditional jumping jack, quickly open your legs out to the side while extending your arms overhead; be sure to flex your feet and land on your heels. Return your arms and legs to the starting position and repeat ten times. For best results, perform seated jumping jacks quickly and with vigor.

2. SEATED TOE STRETCH Sit on the edge of your chair and lean forward. Carefully reach for your toes while remaining seated. Be sure to avoid leaning too far forward, and maintain a seated position throughout this exercise.

3. CHAIR RUNNING Sit straight with your knees bent. Straighten your right leg out in front of you while planting your left foot on the ground. Next, in a motion similar to running, bend your right leg and extend your left leg quickly. To burn more calories, pump your left and right arms back and forth in a manner that is also similar to running.

4. SKATER SWITCH Sit on the edge of your chair with both feet flat on the floor. Straighten your left knee and extend your left leg straight out while keeping your right foot flat on the floor. Extend your arms straight out in front of you and lean forward slightly; next, move your left arm toward the inside of your right foot while raising your right arm up behind your body, twisting through your torso to do so. Return

your arms to the front while lowering your left leg. Switch to the opposite side and repeat the same motion; repeat for thirty alternating repetitions.

5. CAPTAIN’S CHAIR Be sure your chair is sturdy. Sit up straight and grasp the edges of your seat. Slowly lift your feet off the floor. Move your knees toward your chest. Squeeze your abs at the top, and slowly lower your feet back to the floor. Don’t try to move past a comfortable position. If you can only raise your feet a few inches off the floor, that’s fine. This exercise will strengthen your abs and other core muscles, such as your glutes.

6. TUMMY TWIST Sit up straight with your feet flat on the ground. Hold your arms at a 90-degree angle with your elbows at your sides and your forearms extended in front of you. Rotate your upper midsection to the left through a full range of motion. Keep your lower body still and brace your core by imagining you’re pulling your belly button toward your spine. Return to the middle and twist to the right. Perform ten repetitions on each side, for a total of twenty. This exercise strengthens your obliques—abdominal muscles used for trunk rotation—and will help you maintain good posture. Also, check out the best back braces to improve poor posture.

7. KNEE LIFTS Sit up straight with your feet flat. Slowly lift your right knee toward your chest, and then lower your foot back to the floor. Repeat with your left leg. Perform ten repetitions per leg, for a total of twenty reps. For an added challenge, pause for a five-count at the top of the movement. This exercise strengthens your quads, which is the largest muscle group in your body. As you build strength, consider enhancing your workout by using ankle weights for added resistance. Chair exercises can be game-changing fitness for seniors and other motion-limited populations. They allow adults who would otherwise not be able to exercise to consistently improve their strength, cardiovascular fitness, and mobility—without the high risk of injury present during traditional exercise routines. Seated exercises are gentler on the joints and will reduce pain, not add to it. You can expect many of the same benefits from seated exercise as standing routines, and chair exercises can be a lifesaver for someone recovering from surgery or an injury. All you need is a sturdy chair and a good set of exercises.

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ASK THE NUTRITIONIST By Shani Taub, CDC

Midnight Munchies

When nighttime hunger hinders sleep

I’m grateful that I’ve been able to stick to a healthy eating routine for the past few months. Part of my routine is not to eat past 9:00 p.m. I feel so much better when I skip all that late-night snacking. Recently, however, I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night feeling ravenously hungry and I have a hard time falling back asleep. Any tips on how to deal with this?

Kudos to you for maintaining a healthy food regimen. I’m sure the benefits are being felt in all areas of life. Regarding your question about nighttime hunger that keeps you up, here are some insights on the subject. First, let’s explore your question from a nutrition perspective. Hashem fashioned the human body in such a way that a healthy individual can adapt to any kind of food schedule. As long as the necessary nutrients are consumed, we can implement any eating schedule without feeling discomfort or pain, and the body will adapt and get used to it over time. Many women tell me that after sticking to their food plan for just a few days, they feel no need to eat between 7:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m. They simply aren’t hungry. It is possible that your late-night wake-up is due to the recent Yom Tov schedule. Perhaps you’ve gotten used to

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eating later in the night. It’s important to realize that now your body needs to be retrained back to its usual eating times. That’s very normal. If this is the reason, you may just need a few more days of your routine eating patterns, and your body won’t be asking for late-night food anymore. Make sure that your usual eating pattern provides your body with ample nutrition over the course of the day. If you consume the right amount of carbs, proteins, and fluids, your body won’t be ravenous at any time. If you’re not sure whether your current amounts are giving you what you need, you may want to consult with a competent nutritionist for more guidance. That being said, if all required nutrients are included in your daily food intake and you’re still waking up hungry, perhaps consider tuning into those hunger signs. Are they really hunger pains? Feel into that feeling and try to determine what the uncomfortable sensation actually is. Here are some possible underlying sensations that may seem like physical hunger but could be something else. Often, exhaustion and hunger symptoms are interchangeable. In your particular case, this may not be the culprit as exhaustion doesn’t usually awaken someone from their sleep, but it’s important to include this on the list as many aren’t aware of this. Often, when we’re feeling hungry

during the evening hours, it’s really the bed that’s calling—not the food. Thirst can also be perceived as hunger, so make sure you’re adequately hydrated, even during the winter. Most unrecognized of all, various unpleasant emotions like loneliness, boredom, sadness, and anxiety can mimic the discomfort of hunger, which can easily keep one up at night. So, tune into that uncomfortable feeling, and delve into it further. Ask yourself, “What is the distress that I am feeling right now?” Take the time to process your emotions in order to facilitate better sleep. I recently worked with a client who had to lose weight for medical reasons. I set her up with a food plan that took her situation into account. The next time we met, she asked if I could add more food to her plan, saying that she was too hungry. However, taking her needs into account, I didn’t think that more food was necessary. Eventually, she complained to the doctor who was handling her medical condition, and he said, “Show me the food plan,” which she did. The doctor reviewed it and said, “If you’re eating all of this food and you’re still feeling hungry, maybe it’s not physical hunger after all.” This woman had no other choice but to learn how to tune into those emotions and to discern what they were really trying to tell her. Sometimes, we’re too quick to register various sensations as hunger. We need to realize that if we’re giving our body what it needs, the sensation might be something else. The best method to stop thinking about food, once we’ve consumed our fare, is distraction. In your case, when you’re up during the night, once you’ve ascertained that your body got what it needed during the day, you may want to distract yourself with some soothing music. By making it clear to yourself that it’s not physical hunger that’s in the way, and by addressing what it may be, you should, with Hashem’s help, be getting a good night’s sleep again very soon.

Scheduled Eating: Why It’s Beneficial and How to Start Imagine running a marathon. If you run hard at the start, you may reach exhaustion too quickly. Likewise, if you try to store all your energy until the very end, you may never make any progress (think of a turtle). The key is setting an even pace that you can maintain throughout the entirety of the race. Now, imagine this same strategy for your caloric intake. Instead of eating meals in huge chunks, think about the benefits of maintaining your energy levels at a consistent rate across the day. By scheduling your meals and snacks, and building a healthy diet, you can maximize your digestive health while preventing the development of major diseases. Let’s take a look at what a healthy eating schedule may look like on a typical day (because there will always be some exceptions). • Within one hour of waking up, your body has processed all the nutrients during your sleep and is ready to build energy. Choose high protein and low sugar and carb options to provide long-lasting energy without crashing mid-morning. • About three hours later, a light, low-calorie snack should keep you energized until lunch. • Around 12:00 p.m., about five hours after your breakfast, your body will need a bigger boost to keep your metabolism engaged. Here you should focus on lean proteins like chicken or fish combined with complex carbs, healthy fats, and fiber. • When you start to feel those afternoon grumbles kicking in, about three hours after lunch, again head for a light, energizing snack. • Finally, no less than three hours before bed, your meal should include protein, complex carbs, fruits, and vegetables. The goal is to eat every three to four hours in order to keep your blood sugar consistent and for your stomach to optimally digest. Setting this schedule consistently across days can also help curb overeating. In general, scheduling what and when you eat will help you maintain a balanced diet and create a more stable energy source, as your metabolism will be engaged at optimal levels all day long. (chear.ucsd.edu)

Please send your questions to the nutritionist to info@wellspringmagazine.com. Shani Taub, CDC, has been practicing as a certified nutritionist in Lakewood for almost a decade, meeting with clients in person and on the phone. She also owns the highly popular Shani Taub food line, which carries healthy, approved, pre-measured foods and delicacies sold at supermarkets and restaurants.

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ALTERNATIVE VIEW

BY FAIGY SCHONFELD

STIFF NECK WAKING UP WITH A STIFF NECK GIVES “PAIN IN THE NECK” NEW MEANING. IT COULD BE A SHOOTING PAIN OR A DULL ACHE, BUT IN ANY CASE, IT IS HIGHLY ANNOYING AND SOMETIMES DOWNRIGHT EXCRUCIATING. BEING THE NECK, IT HAS THE WEIGHTY TASK OF HOLDING UP YOUR HEAD, PLUS IT HAS ALL THIS MOBILITY AND RANGE OF MOTION, MAKING IT SUSCEPTIBLE TO STRAINS AND STIFFNESS. HERE ARE SOME WAYS TO TREAT AND PREVENT THIS COMMON DISCOMFORT.

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WHAT CAUSES IT? Neck pain usually happens as a result of certain changes in nerve signals in the spinal cord. This can be caused for a variety of reasons, such as a single injury, exercise-related strains, or in older people, arthritic change. Fast, repetitive movement can often lead to a stiff neck too—think heavy housework, lifting an object and pulling hard on your neck muscles, exercising, or a sudden jerk while driving. Poor posture (from holding the neck at a bad angle while talking on the phone, bending over a computer screen, reading in bed, or sleeping in certain positions), is another way of inviting a stiff neck. Stress—which has you clenching your teeth and tightening your muscles—is also not a good thing, and that includes stressing about the neck pain itself. Although the bones and ligaments often feel cranky too, a stiff neck is generally a symptom of overstrained muscles.

IT’S USUALLY A STIFF NECK IF… You’ve got soreness or a tight feeling in the neck, pain while moving the neck, tension headaches, shoulder pain, or trouble with range of motion. Some people may feel weakness in their arms due to muscle fatigue, or numbness and tingling in the arms due to nerve compression. A stiff neck usually passes within a few days but can sometimes last longer—up to a few weeks—with symptoms varying, depending on movement, stress levels, or how well one slept the night before.

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ALTERNATIVE VIEW

FIRST THINGS FIRST For starters, a few changes in habit can go a long way. If you spend a lot of time hunched over the computer screen, you may want to bring the screen to eye level—your neck should be straight with no bending forward. It’s also a good idea to raise the keyboard so your hands are in a natural position for typing without needing to lean forward. Of course, try not to cradle the phone between your head and shoulders, consider swapping your heavy bag for a smaller purse, and when in bed, prop a small pillow or rolled-up towel beneath your neck to give your muscles some support. (Otherwise, with your head on the pillow and your shoulders on the mattress, your neck remains completely unsupported.)

DIET Now, you know I’m going to say we’ve got to eat right, but how exactly, you may wonder, is diet a factor in the flexibility of our neck muscles? High levels of inflammation make muscles more prone to injury, plus they weaken bones and joints and suppress the body’s natural healing process. An anti-inflammatory diet is the best choice for turning down the heat: think healthy fats, healthy proteins, coconut oil, green veggies, probiotics, and fermented foods. At the same time, it also calls for minimizing refined grains, added sugar, processed, and chemical-laden kinds of food.

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EXERCISE! OR RATHER, STRETCHES It’s not a good idea to do any strenuous exercise when experiencing neck pain, but gently moving your neck in all directions may offer some relief. Applying heat to the muscles before stretching is a good idea. You can try simple side stretches—bending your head from right and left, bending your head forward, and looking up toward the ceiling—but only until you experience a mild tightness. Hard and forceful stretching is not recommended. To improve range of motion in the neck, you can try this exercise at home (but only if it’s not very painful). Sit up straight on a chair, no hunching. Place your left hand behind your head and gently pull it at a diagonal angle toward the knee. Hold for five to ten seconds, then relax for five to ten seconds. For a deeper stretch, slowly pull your head toward your chest in the direction of your knee until you reach a new ending point. Repeat this a few times but avoid the exercise if the pain gets worse.

SLEEP! Once you’ve done your exercises, it’s time for bed. A good night’s sleep (around seven to nine hours for adults) is essential. Regarding stiff-neckfriendly sleeping positions, most doctors advise sleeping on the side, but careful not to curl up too much. If you do sleep on your back, prop some pillows beneath your knees to keep them somewhat bent upward.

REMEDIES Ice packs are good to numb the pain and reduce inflammation, but then use heat to bring fresh blood flow to the area and make the pain vanish even sooner. By heating and massaging the neck, you can help muscles relax, loosen up tight tissue, and even promote the production of the body’s natural calming, pain-relieving chemicals (including endorphins). Essential Oils For direct and quicker pain relief, essential oils should be applied topically. Be careful to properly dilute the essential oil in a carrier oil to avoid skin irritation. Peppermint oil provides a cooling effect, similar to the feel of an ice pack, and it contains menthol, which can soothe muscle tension. Studies have found that peppermint oil can reduce inflammation and improve blood flow. Ginger oil has also been shown to reduce inflammation and swelling; a 2017 study noted that the anti-inflammatory properties of ginger oil may have a significant effect on healing chronic joint pain. Chamomile oil is another goodie, known for its calming, stress-busting properties; studies reveal that it is also helpful for soothing tense muscles and re-

lieving stiffness. Bergamot oil may be beneficial for neck pain caused by nerve damage or neuropathic pain, while juniper oil has been shown to reduce tension and muscle spasms in animal-based trials. As an alternative to topical treatment, some prefer their essential oils in the bath. Rosemary, juniper, lavender, pine, and nutmeg have all been shown to relieve pain and tension. Herbs St. John’s wort has been traditionally used as a painkiller and to treat wounds, while valerian root and vervain tea are well-known for their anti-inflammatory, pain relieving properties. You can try preparing these as a warm compress and applying them to painful areas. A chamomile tea bag can also work in a pinch. Spicy herbs make it to the table too. Fresh horseradish or mustard oil can be applied to sore muscles to relieve stiffness—but make sure to remove them after a couple of minutes if you don’t want burning or numbness. The homeopathic arnica remedy (also comes in cream form) is amazing for all sorts of aches and pains. Try applying some topically for quick relief.

WORK ON YOUR POSTURE A 2021 study looked at various treatment options for reducing neck pain: spinal manipulative therapy by a chiropractor, pain medication, and exercising. Twelve weeks in, 57 percent of those who saw a chiropractor and 48 percent of those who implemented an exercise regimen reported at least a 75 percent reduction in neck pain. Meanwhile, only around 33 percent of those in the medication group noticed the same improvements. Whichever hishtadlus suits you, your best bet is working on your prayer and your faith. Hashem is the Healer of all stiff necks.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. Please consult with a medical practitioner before administering any treatment or implementing lifestyle changes.

WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

WELLSPRING COMMUNITY

mold removal

In this space, we feature a health-related question or predicament submitted by a Wellspring reader. Fellow readers are invited to participate in the conversation by sharing their tried-and-true advice and suggestions. Join the community!

Mold has developed on the ceiling of our bathroom due to moisture, and now I’ve noticed mold mites on the ceiling and walls. I was told to use bleach to destroy the mold but I’m afraid of the health risks of using such strong chemicals in the house. Any suggestions for safe and effective mold removal? Welcome to the club! Bathrooms and moisture get along quite well. A few years back, I had a large patch of mold in my bathroom, too. Luckily, it never progressed to mites. I’ve heard, though, that mites are not any more harmful than the mold itself. I did end up using a mold spray, but I looked for the least toxic one in the bunch. I recently saw an organic mold spray in my health food store. - D. Reiner, Brooklyn 34

WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

I had a bad case of mold under my kitchen sink. A friend gave me a great DIY solution: hydrogen peroxide. It worked really well! It’s safe on all sorts of surfaces so I wasn’t worried that it would ruin or stain the wood. Here is how I used the hydrogen peroxide. I poured a very small amount into a spray bottle and filled the rest with water. I sprayed a hefty dose on the affected area and let it sit about half an hour. I then scrubbed the area and, lo and behold, the mold came sliding right off. I was pleased to avoid using any sort of bleach or other toxic materials. - T. Marcus, Lakewood

My yekke grandmother taught me the many, many uses of baking soda. From absorbing bad odors (sprinkle some into the garbage can) to relieving heartburn (skip the TUMS), baking soda is really quite useful. Nor surprisingly, it absorbs moisture and can be used to remove mold, too. Spray the moldy area with a baking soda-water solution. Scrub it hard. Hopefully, it will do the trick and prevent the mold from returning. For really tough mold, I’ve heard that a thicker paste of baking soda and water will work. It’s a really great — and safer — alternative to bleach. - Fayge Weinberg

You wouldn’t believe it, but your go-to salad dressing ingredient, vinegar, is a world-class mold remover. Sorry to have to place salads and mold in the same sentence there! Vinegar contains acidic antibacterial properties, which are just what you need to get the job done. As an added benefit, a bottle of vinegar costs only a few dollars, so you don’t have to empty your pockets on all kinds of pricy mold remover tools.

Mold is never fun, especially when mites have appeared. I’m sure you want to get this mold out of sight as soon as possible! We’ve had lots of mold issues in our bathrooms over the years. At one point, I developed a terrible cough, which may very well have been due to the moldy area in the bathroom. Like you, I was hesitant to use bleach or ammonia in my home. After doing some research, I learned that lemons contain a high concentration of acid, which breaks down the mold, making it easier to remove.

Opt for white vinegar. It’s milder and actually cleans and disinfects the affected area. Vinegar works safely on most surfaces, and its strong odor will eventually dissipate, so don’t mind the smell. Attach any spray bottle cover to the vinegar bottle and spray directly on the moldy area. Leave it on overnight. It would be smart to open nearby windows so that no one is too bothered by the harsh scent. Try it, it works like magic.

So last month, I juiced five fresh lemons and immediately poured the juice over the moldy areas and let it sit. Then, I did a rigorous scrub, and the mold washed away easily.

When all else fails, essential oils come to the rescue! In our day and age, aromatherapy has become a household word. People are finding out more and more about the tremendously effective and healing properties of essential oils. One of my favorites (although not the cheapest) is tea tree oil. It’s been used as a remedy for cuts and burns for years now. Fun fact: tea tree oil is an insect repellant, antiseptic, and deodorizer. And what do you know, it’s one of the safest ways to get rid of mold, too. Combine a small amount of tea tree oil with one cup of water in a spray bottle and shake vigorously to blend the water and oil. A little can go a long way with this essential oil. Spray the moldy area, leave it to dry for an hour, and then wipe it away with a cloth. Make sure to wear gloves as you work because some people find that essential oils can irritate their skin. - T. Schon

- Shifra A., Chicago

I’m all for natural remedies. However, before you grab your baking soda or throw extra lemons in your shopping cart, it’s important to consider whether you should be using these natural ways to kill mold or whether you should seek professional help. Mold can be dangerous and very often it lurks beneath the surface as well and requires an intensive removal process. According to the Environmental Protection Agency, a person should only tackle the issue on their own if the mold patch is smaller than 10 square feet (around 3 foot by 3 foot). You should also hire a professional cleaner if you have mold in your heating or air conditioning system. Beware before addressing mold yourself. Perhaps get a second opinion beforehand to be sure that it’s safe for you to deal with directly. If you must go with a professional mold removal company, speak with them first to see if they can use specific products that you feel more comfortable with. - Dalia O., Los Angeles

Next Up: My child’s left eye is a lazy eye. The doctors have told me that patching the good eye can help as an attempt to avoid surgery down the line. I’d love to hear of any other methods I can try in order to help my child. Any ideas?

Want to share what worked for you with a fellow Wellspring Community member? Send your response to info@wellspringmagazine.com.

WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

Please note: These suggestions should not be implemented in place of guidance from a medical practitioner.

- Perel Singer, Flatbush

The best part of it all? The delicious citrus scent in our bathroom that lasted for a few days. It’s amazing that there are so many natural remedies out there for all sorts of ailments and situations. Many times, these options are more easily accessible, affordable, and safer, too. When life gives you lemons…

MEDICAL SAGA

CARRY ME THROUGH THIS

Being diagnosed with leukemia is a tremendous nisayon. Being diagnosed with leukemia while carrying a child takes the nisayon to another level.

As told to Libby Silberman

WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

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MEDICAL SAGA

PART 1 OF 4 His name is Yehuda Yehoshua; we call him JJ. I think he’s cuter and smarter than all of his six older siblings combined, and his name was handpicked after lots of thought. Now, now, let me start at the beginning. My family’s not so into birthdays, but being that yud beis Elul is a double birthday—two of my children share the date—we planned on going out for a pizza dinner.

“Why?” “From the look of these results, I’d say it could be a couple of things. At best, it could be a mistake. It happens. At worst, it could be leukemia.” “What?!”

My husband watched the kids at home while I headed to a doctor’s appointment before our pizza party. I was 18 weeks along with my seventh baby, and I had never felt this weak during pregnancy before. I was pretty sure I was low in iron and wanted to get it checked out.

“Let’s not get alarmed prematurely. We’ll take further blood work to verify what’s going on.” He got on the phone to arrange for immediate blood work while I called my husband from the waiting room and updated him on what was happening.

In fact, I was so weak I could hardly walk up the stairs to my bedroom. I would stand at the bottom of the stairs and look up, wondering why people owned homes with two levels. What was the point if you could hardly go upstairs?

“I’ll call Rav Newman and ask him to daven for you,” he said. Although we’d moved away from our cozy outof-town kollel community a while earlier, we were still in active contact with the community rav. I wasn’t surprised he was my husband’s first address in time of challenge.

I had called my doctor earlier in the week and told her how weak I’d been feeling. She sent me for blood work, and I went to the lab the very same day. My hemoglobin was extremely low, coming in at 6.2, with the normal bracket starting at 12. I was practically giddy hearing this. There was actually a physical cause to my weakness; it wasn’t all in my head. I’d started thinking that perhaps I had too much time on my hands to think about myself, and all I needed was to rejoin the workforce I’d abandoned three years earlier for stay-athome-mommy life. “You know what else is strange?” the doctor said after informing me about my hemoglobin in our phone conversation. “Your platelet count is rather low. I’m going to refer you to a colleague of mine, Dr. Cain, a hematologist. I’ll send him your blood work prior to your visit.” I scheduled an appointment with him for only two days later, Thursday, yud beis Elul. Very innocently, I walked alone into his clinic, expecting to receive a prescription for iron tablets at best or iron intravenously at worst. The hematologist, a frum man of about fifty, reviewed my blood work in silence as I sat across him at his desk. “What we have here is definitely not an iron deficiency,” he began. I blinked and sat up. Huh? Obviously, this was an iron deficiency. What else could it be? “I’m going to have you take more detailed blood work,” 38

he said. “And I’d like for you to take it now.”

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Before the hematologist dispatched me to the private lab at Kimball Hospital in Lakewood, he wrote down his personal phone number on a sticky note and handed it to me. “Call me if you need anything,” he said sincerely. Along my ensuing journey, I couldn’t help but compare the manner in which Jewish doctors like him treated their patients— always providing an extra dose of care and concern beyond their call of duty—to that of other medical professionals I encountered. By the time I got to the lab, they were already waiting for me, which alarmed me. The phlebotomist struggled to find a vein, pricking me repeatedly and apologizing profusely each time for hurting me. “Please, Hashem, let this be my worst problem,” I prayed silently. With my blood finally drawn, they promised to have the results in two hours. If this is anything serious, I thought as I left the hospital shakily, thank You, Hashem, that it’s only me, and not one of my children suffering. In the car on the way home, in my haze of apprehension, I instinctively dialed my mother in Flatbush, forgetting my previous thought about my children. I, myself, was my mother’s child, I didn’t have to scare her like this! I caught her in the butcher store as she was purchasing meat for Rosh Hashanah. I blurted out the whole saga in one confusing mush.

“We’re coming for Shabbos,” she said promptly, Yiddishe mamme that she is. “You know what? We’re coming today.” Although my nerves were taut beyond belief, the show had to go on. We went to the pizza store and celebrated my kids’ special day. I didn’t eat a thing, hardly breathing from tension. Precisely two hours later, at seven o’clock in the evening, I received a call from Dr. Cain. “Something seems very suspicious with your results,” he said. “Can you get to RWJ hospital sometime soon?” “Huh? Where’s that?” I was soon to discover that half of Lakewood’s women gave birth at RWJ, but being a relative newcomer, I didn’t know that yet. “And why?” “I just want you to be someplace safe for tonight,” he replied without offering more details. Safe in my brain up until that moment had meant my own bed at home. “Pack for overnight,” he added. I numbly packed the minimum, hoping I’d be home in time for Shabbos. Later, I would find out that he’d known I was sick as soon as he saw my results, but he didn’t want to frighten me before I was in the hospital. “Where are you going?” asked my 11-year-old son as he saw me putting a snood in a bag. My husband opted for the vague truth. “Mommy’s been feeling very weak lately, right? So, we’re going to the hospital to check it out.” Thankfully, the kids accepted the answer with equanimity. As we headed out to the car, my parents pulled into the driveway. My father, ever the cheerleader, offered to join us at the hospital, and my mother entered my home to be with my children. I’m forever grateful to them for their unending love, moral support, and for physically running my family during the time I was out of commission. At the hospital, my hemoglobin levels had dropped to

“What we have here is definitely not an iron deficiency,” he began. I blinked and sat up. Huh? Obviously, this was an iron deficiency. What else could it be? “I’m going to have you take more detailed blood work,” he said. “And I’d like for you to take it now.” below five, and I was immediately given a blood transfusion. A bone marrow biopsy was performed, and we sat on our palms with anxiety, awaiting results. I was admitted to the oncology ward on the fifth floor and assigned a beautiful private room. A very chatty Oriental-looking doctor entered the room. She told me she was in her tenth year of schooling and graduating soon with additional certifications in hematology. Noticing my discomfort as she checked me, she tried to adjust my bed, with no success. She pushed and prodded and shoved buttons and levers but she couldn’t figure out how it worked. I marveled how a decade of advanced schooling curricula didn’t include anything about navigating hospital beds! A tense but mostly good-spirited Friday and Shabbos night passed in the company of my husband and father. On Shabbos morning, my results were in. Acute myeloid leukemia (AML). And I was expecting. A proverbial door slammed on my life. Everything I’d ever known was behind that door and I was being propelled forward. To where, I had no idea. Although I’d had many hours to process this eventuality, I was frozen in horror and disbelief. My father snapped his fingers, breaking the silence. “This calls for celebration!” he said with exuberance. “You didn’t even hear what the doctor said; you’re prob-

WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

MEDICAL SAGA

ably not going to need a bone marrow transplant. Only chemo! That’s great news.” I offered a little grin and pondered how quickly we get used to uncomfortable situations and how grateful we are for every break we’re given. Only chemo, yes, hooray. Hopefully. Shortly after my diagnosis, an acquaintance said to me nonchalantly, “Ah, it’s the easiest type of cancer.” Honestly, I found the comment to be in poor taste at the time, but a couple of years later, realizing how many people I’d encountered along my journey who did not get safely out of cancer’s grip, I can only thank Hashem for his infinite chessed in giving me “the easiest type of cancer.” As that fateful day wore on, in search of something to lighten the atmosphere, I came up a corny joke I repeated to every doctor and nurse. “Look here,” I said to each one. “I’m a Jewish woman. Let me tell you about Jewish women and our Sabbath. There’s a special dish we cook each Friday, cholent, we call it. We combine meat and marrow and beans and potatoes and barley, with lots of great spices. We cook this stew on Friday and let it simmer all night long until lunch on Sabbath day. This stew is a Jewish woman’s pride and joy.” At that point in the joke, they would look at me skeptically, wondering if I’d lost my mind. “You see, there’s a problem with my bone marrow, and we’re about to cook up a stew with it. You’ll see, doctor, this is going to be the best stew ever! It’s going to make all of you very proud.” Despite the joke’s corniness, every doctor and nurse ended up laughing uproariously. One of the nurses on the floor had a distinctly Jewish-sounding last name. She stopped by on Shabbos to sit with me after my diagnosis. As she tried making conversation, she shared that while her father was indeed Jewish, her mother was not.

* As the longest Shabbos in my life passed minute by long minute, a million questions raced through my mind. Was I going to survive? Who would raise my kids if I didn’t? Could I even receive any kind of treatment now that I was pregnant? Did I have to wait? Could I wait? What would happen to the baby? Could the baby survive this? My medical team, which consisted of doctors of both oncology and MFM (maternal fetal medicine), came by to tell me about my disease and answer questions. Leukemia needs to be treated immediately, without delay, they said gravely. Leukemia patients undergo chemotherapy as a first line of treatment. In some cases, the cancer does not respond to chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant is required. The doctors assured me that chemo cannot harm a fetus past the first trimester, being that the network for major organs is formed during that time. With Hashem’s help, we had nothing to worry about on that end. The main concern chemotherapy would pose was fetal growth retardation, something that was monitored throughout. I started treatment the very next day, a harrowing experience I don’t wish upon any Yid. As I lay in bed on the first day feeling utterly horrible, a team of unfamiliar medical personnel entered. “Hello, we’re here from Labor and Delivery.” “Huh? I didn’t call you and I don’t need you! At least not just yet!” As it turns out, they were there to monitor my baby’s heartbeat, movement, and growth. They continued to do this every single day for the rest of my hospital stay and ensuing hospital stays.

“A couple of years ago,” she said, “we had a Jewish woman hospitalized here on this floor, with the same kind of cancer as you. While she was here, we spent many a Sabbath with her. Ah, it was so special!” The nurse sighed wistfully. “She’d take a white tablecloth and cover the little table in the corner. She’d have such beautiful meals and I loved joining her.”

The first round of treatment, referred to as “induction,” is an extremely powerful form of chemotherapy. Many require another round of induction, but baruch Hashem, I was spared. I was hospitalized for over four weeks in my first round. On Motzaei Yom Kippur, nearly a month after my diagnosis and hospital admission, my doctors came to see me.

Her offhand comment ended up spelling a meaningful connection for me. A short while later, I was connected with this particular woman via Chai Lifeline. Baruch Hashem, she was in complete remission and was doing great. It was incredibly comforting and encouraging for me to speak with her.

“Doctors,” I said. “We have a beautiful Jewish holiday coming up, Sukkos. It starts in a couple of days, on Sunday night.”

This nurse must have inherited her father’s Jewish heart. In the time I spent at the hospital, she’d sit with me on 40

hard days, listening to me cry and just being there for me. She also joined me for some of my Shabbos meals, just like she’d done for the other Jewish woman a few years earlier.

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“Okay, nice.” “You’ll see, doctors, I’m going home on Sunday! I’ll be all fine.” The doctors exchanged glances.

“Right, doctors, I know you don’t know this yet, but that’s why I’m telling you. I’m going home.” I knew I was being naughty for speaking that way, but I was desperate to go home and be with my children for Yom Tov. “Look, we don’t know. We’ll see. It’s impossible to know anything now…” they fumbled for answers. But I was determined. I was going to be home for Sukkos! And I kept davening. On Motzaei Shabbos, the night before the start of Sukkos, a doctor entered my room. “Um, Malka? You said you were going home by Sunday evening.” “Correct,” I replied. “So, um, the question is, can it be tonight, or does it have to be tomorrow?” “What?” Did the doctor think I was only able to leave on Sunday because that’s when the holiday started, but I wasn’t able to tonight? I stifled a roar of laughter. “I’m outa here!” A biopsy had been performed but the results weren’t conclusive. They couldn’t tell if my body was in remission or not, but I was too weak to undergo another biopsy at the time. Therefore, the medical team decided I could be temporarily discharged. Indeed, I was home for the first days of Sukkos, ensconced in the safety of my loving family. Yellow like a banana, weak like a newborn, but home, sweet, sweet home. Miraculously, while I did lose most of my hair, I never lost my eyelashes and eyebrows, so at least I looked relatively decent. On the first day home, I davened, “Hashem, I know I’m in Your hands. I know You’re carrying me through this. But can you help me feel it?” Incredibly, although I could have spent Sukkos writhing in anxiety over the possible outcomes of my next biopsy, Hashem made me not think of it even once! He blocked it out of my brain entirely. It wasn’t as if I had to work on myself not to think dreary thoughts throughout Yom Tov. My illness simply did not exist. For that pocket of time, enveloped in His love, I was on a high, being carried in His caring embrace. But soon after, the questions came up again. How would I emerge from this ordeal? How much longer would I manage to carry my special baby? There was still a journey to travel before I would find out.

TO BE CONTINUED... WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

SAMPLE

SAMPLE By Libby Silberman

WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

The Sarno Method Part II Last month, the Sarno method was in the spotlight at the Lab. Its basic premise is that most physical symptoms are rooted in subconscious “rage,” stemming from personality traits like people-pleasing and perfectionism, childhood anger and sadness, and everyday stresses like relationships and work. We discussed that one need not get enmeshed and totally involved in their negative emotions in order to get better. Most people can get better simply by acknowledging what’s going on and informing their subconscious mind that they can stop creating pain as a distraction. The feedback to last month’s installment was, as expected, very positive. Most readers have heard about the modality. However, many of us find it hard to acknowledge that our physical symptoms might be the result of an emotional “imperfection.” Last month’s Sample clarified these misconceptions, and I was gratified to hear how many of you were willing to embrace the idea and possibly even try it yourselves. Before putting out some more fascinating info, I’d like to underscore the multitudes of problems that have allegedly been cured via the Sarno method. Although Dr. Sarno himself focused largely on back pain and other musculoskeletal diseases, TMS (tension myositis syndrome) can manifest in many different ways. Thus, when one finds themselves in any medical situation that does not seem to have a simple solution, it’s always a good idea to check out Dr. Sarno’s works in conjunction with the care of a medical doctor.

WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

SAMPLE

12 Daily Reminders Want to take a deep dive and practice the Sarno method yourself? Here’s a handy list of Dr. Sarno’s 12 daily reminders that are an integral part of the healing process. Print, review, and internalize every day until you are pain free, or whenever you feel pain. (PainOutsidetheBox.com)

1. The pain I am experiencing is due to TMS, not a structural abnormality.

2. The direct reason for the pain is mild oxygen deprivation (or, according to more recent studies, physical changes in the brain that are linked to chronic pain).

3. TMS is a harmless condition caused by my repressed emotions.

4. The principal emotion is my repressed anger (or fear, helplessness, self-pity, resentment…).

7. Therefore, physical activity is not dangerous.

8. And I must resume all normal physical activity.

9. I will not be concerned about or intimidated by the pain.

10. I will shift my attention from pain to the emotional issues.

11. I intend to be in control— not my subconscious mind. 5. TMS exists only to distract my attention from the emotions.

6. Since my back [replace with whatever pain you have] is basically normal, there is nothing to fear.

WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

12. I must think psychological at all times—not physical.

Baila’s story There was no reason why I was suffering from excruciating side and back pain. I was hobbling around as if I were 99 years old when I was just pushing my 49th birthday. I couldn’t find a comfortable position in bed at night. I couldn’t do anything. Multiple scans did not find the source of the problem, although I was able to point to the precise area that was hurting. It was like a ball of pain was lodged in my middle back and radiating intense waves of pure agony.

from the area of pain to create a physical distraction.

An amazing woman from Meah Shearim came to my home in central Jerusalem, applied soothing balms, and give me a therapeutic massage. However, the relief lasted for a day at most. She started coming every other day to help me manage the pain, but it was crazy how much money I was paying, and how much time I spent on my back. I had to find a long-term solution.

“I read the book,” she persisted. “It doesn’t mean that something is wrong or messed up with you. On the contrary, the best people leading the most perfect lives can suffer from TMS. Also,” she continued, “Dr. Sarno coined this expression—‘goodism.’ It’s when a person is always good to everyone, saying yes all time, doing chessed, giving tzedakah, hosting events, even when they’re not quite in the mood all the time.”

I tried chiropractic relief but found it entirely useless. After a couple of months, the pain simply disappeared, baruch Hashem. I got busy with communal projects I hadn’t been able to do for all those months, and all was good. Three months later, the pain was back. I called the Yerushalmi woman again, and faithful as ever, she came with her bag of creams and tools. This time, however, it didn’t provide any relief. I was literally biting my lips trying not to cry out in pain as she massaged my back. Friday night, I was half-sitting/half-lying/half-folded on the couch, maxed out on painkillers, when my niece stopped by. She was horrified to see me in so much pain. She’d always known me as a powerhouse, always put together with a smile on my face. Unable to hide it from her and trying not to cry, I told her how my back had been faring. “Sarno,” she said to me. “You know?” I didn’t know what she was referring to. She explained how physical pain is caused by the body trying to create a distraction from emotional pain; how the unconscious mind diverts blood and oxygen

But emotional pain? Me? Nope. Wrong address. My life was good. My husband was a respectable man in the community who was doing well in his real estate business. My three daughters were all married. I had nothing sitting on my mind except my back pain. I waved her away. The pain wasn’t in my mind. It was physical.

My niece was pressing my buttons. She knew who she was talking to, and she was using examples from my own life. She explained how goodism leads to unconscious rage, which left unrecognized, can cause real, physical pain in the body. I dismissed her words at first. I did chessed because I wanted to. Right, people came all the time asking for help, but I handled them all so graciously with a happy heart. Baruch Hashem, we had what to give and it wasn’t hard for me to give. I refused to entertain the thought that unconsciously, this was hard for me. But could I possibly leave a stone unturned? I asked her for the book, and she dropped off The MindBody Prescription along with a box of four huge carrot muffins on Sunday. I read a couple of pages here and there. “Stop it, just stop it,” I found myself saying aloud to my body. “I don’t know why you’re creating this horrible pain in my back. Whatever. If it’s rooted in anything emotional, bug off. This is not your job. Just stop hurting me. Send oxygen and blood to my back and fix me.” It was a good beginning. I didn’t want to dwell on my “goodism” and my perfectionism. Over the next few days, I came around and realized how very true the concept was. Twelve days later my pain was gone, and it’s been gone for eight months now. Every now and then I remember this incredible method and remind my body how awesome it is for taking care of my physical self, and how it should remember to keep out of my emotional business.

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SAMPLE

Menachem’s story I started a new yeshiva when I was 18 years old. A couple of weeks into the zeman, my ears started hurting me, to the extent that I couldn’t sleep at night. I went to the doctor, who pronounced my ears infection-free, but prescribed medication to help clear up fluids, just in case. A month later, the pain hadn’t subsided. I saw an ENT who said that all looked okay to him as well. He did mention, however, that it was possible I was clenching my jaw, which was pressing into my ears. I totally didn’t think that was the matter, so I went to another ENT for a second opinion. The second ENT, however, was on the same page as the first, declaring my ears to be in perfect health, and that perhaps it was my jaw that was at fault here. My mom’s friend’s daughter was suffering from TMJ around that time, and she directed us to the jaw specialist she’d been seeing. When I finally saw the specialist, I was in awful pain, but here too, the specialist said he didn’t see anything wrong in my jaws. Through another friend’s recommendation, we tried a top-tier specialist in Manhattan with a long wait list. I waited out the few months to my appointment on painkillers. At my appointment with the specialist, he examined my bite pattern and determined that I was indeed suffering from an irregular bite that was causing all my pain. He gave me a special oral night brace and instructed me to do specific exercises and not to eat hard things like apples. He also showed me how to massage myself to relieve the tension. Unfortunately, none of these things helped me. I was to return to this specialist every two months, but when I decided to go learn in Israel, the jaw specialist referred me to his colleague who practiced there. I went to this specialist in Israel a couple of times, paying out of pocket. By that time, I had a lot of neck and back pain, as well as constant headaches. After several visits to this

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specialist, the doctor saw how much I was suffering and told me he thought there was something else going on. It didn’t make sense that we weren’t observing any change at all. Could it be, he suggested, that I was clenching my jaw not because of incorrect bite, but because of stress? I was in a lot of pain and was somewhat relieved when the doctor recommended physical therapy. I was glad to be on a different route. The physical therapist felt my back. “Wow, you have so many closed knots here!” he exclaimed. “We’ll do some good work here and within six sessions, you’ll be a different person.” The first session of physical therapy was incredible. I felt better than I had in many months. I returned to my dirah elated. By the following morning, I started feeling my back again, and by the time I showed up to the next PT session, I was in agony. The next session provided some relief again, but again, I was in pain after less than a day. The physical therapist admitted that there must be something triggering all the pain. I was downright fearful by then. I was a young guy, barely out of my teens, in excruciating pain. Was there something more sinister at play? I went to New York for the following Yom Tov, and while there, I visited a neurologist. He looked grave as I described my multiple symptoms and sent me for an MRI. The first MRI came back inconclusive, which had me freaked out for a bit that I was suffering from some rare neurological disease, but the second MRI came back looking perfect. “Just be sure to sleep more and drink more,” said the neurologist when I discussed my MRI results. But I was doing plenty of both. I saw another neurologist, but he found nothing either. I returned to Israel and saw an osteopath, who did weird things on my back. I felt creeped out and wasn’t comfortable with the treatment. If you’re feeling out of breath reading this account, well, that’s a fraction

of what I felt at that point. I contacted a medical referral organization who agreed that the osteopath wasn’t the right address, and that I was best off seeing a chiropractor for all my various ailments. I started seeing the chiropractor, who was extremely effective in relieving my pain…for a few hours. Then, salvation dawned. My night seder chavrusa, who was used to hearing about my frequent headaches, suggested the Sarno method. I was dead set against it. What? The shitah that believes everything is in the head? “No, not really. It’s real pain that comes from stress and other places,” he responded. But I didn’t want to accept his words. He was down my back—no pun intended—for a while, constantly reminding me about this amazing method. I grew frustrated with him, literally shouting at him that my pain was very, very real and not imagined, while he grew frustrated with me, begging me to give it a shot. His mother knew all about it and was willing to give me the skinny on the method. My chavrusa’s mother started calling me herself, but I ignored her calls. I’d totally had it, but they wouldn’t stop badgering me, begging me to give it a shot. Finally, I spoke briefly with his mother and got the number of Rav Elya Katz of Boro Park, a rav who lectures extensively on the Sarno approach since his wife experienced dramatic healing via the method. I took the number and, in front of my chavrusa, pretended to crumple the paper with the phone number on it. When I was alone, I called Rav Katz. He asked me about my symptoms and if I’d been to a neurologist, physical therapist, and other medical professionals. “If you’ve been down that lane and all is clear, then it’s obvious to me that it is TMS, the name Dr. Sarno coined for symptoms like yours,” he said. He gave me the phone number of a student of his who would coach me through the method and invited me to get in touch with him if I needed further guidance. I was so desperate, I actually did call this coach and have five phone sessions with him. First, he explained the meth-

od, and how the pain is real, and caused by a variety of sources such as stress, anger, and tension. He taught me simple phrases to communicate to my body. I was to tell my body that I wasn’t interested in physical pain, that I was going to deal with the emotional pain myself. I was to say it each morning to myself, and each time I felt pain coming on. After a few weeks, I saw no difference in my pain. Although the concept did make sense in my head by then, I was fed up at the thought of trying yet another futile endeavor. However, my coach encouraged me onward. He explained that many people try the method by uttering their statements from their lips and not their hearts. I had to really accept the idea. He could even prove it to me, but I had to give him some more time. In the next several phone sessions, we discussed the different things I’d experienced in life. Nothing earth-shattering. Tension I’d gone through with my parents, with my yeshivah. He proved to me that I’m a perfectionist and helped me realize how I tend to stress and worry about little things. Then, as we literally aired through all that laundry that were the threads of my life, I started noticing something weird. Whenever I was worried or stressed out, I experienced more pain on those days. If I wasn’t meeting goals or didn’t feel on top of things at yeshiva, I would inevitably have a headache day. It clicked. And then the method started working for me. I was cured. Pain free. Young again. Renewed. I have been basically pain free since and simply cannot figure out why mainstream medicine—the gamut of brilliant professionals I saw—won’t come around and help their patients achieve true, permanent, and pain-free healing.

WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

SAMPLE

The Perfectionism Connection The norms and expectations of frum life can sometimes promote a culture of being the “best,” “smartest,” or “most religious”—inadvertently providing a breeding ground for perfectionistic tendencies. For bachurim this might mean a pressure to always get up on time, never miss a seder, and learn constantly; for girls, it might manifest as exemplary behavior, pushing themselves to get high grades, and maintaining a tip-top appearance—oh, and of course, getting into the right seminary. From being the model shidduch candidate to a pillar of the community; from raising a picture-perfect Torahdig family to having the right material possessions to fit in with the social class, perfectionism can grow many limbs. But what could be wrong with being such an excellent Yid, an exemplary student, or the ideal spouse, parent, or child? As we mentioned last month, when seemingly positive behavior stems from “goodism” and perfectionism, it is not coming from a healthy place. Ultimately, these traits often lead to burnout and TMS. Unhealthy perfectionists tend to harbor unconscious rage and eventually experience burnout and other symptoms. These may manifest with the gamut of TMS symptoms we mentioned in the past installment, whether physically (e.g., exhaustion, headaches, back pain, stomach pain) or emotionally (e.g., anxiety, guilt, sadness). In short, perfectionism > rage > burnout > TMS.

On the Spot A fantastic and quick way to help you get out of a short-term problem such as a bad headache is to sit down and practice mindfulness. Relaxing and breathing through mindfulness will help you reduce stress and anxiety, thereby reducing the emotional component of your pain. Alternatively, just sit alone for a couple of minutes and articulate the problem you’re going through. This works more often than you’d believe!

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The Sarno Method for Emotional Issues? Yes! And yes! More research is proving how the Sarno method can help people recover from a variety of emotional problems. In The Divided Mind, Dr. Sarno notes that depression and OCD can be manifestations of TMS, and more recent psychology research adds that TMS can appear in the forms of addiction and anxiety. Of course, a scientific explanation would require an article unto its own, so we’ll stick to this brief mention.

TMS Questionnaire (PainOutsidetheBox.com) Do I Have TMS? Get to the bottom of your chronic pain by answering the following questions. 1. Have you been suffering from pain for over four months?

Conformist: You are concerned about your self-image and of how other people perceive you.

* The length of time one needs to suffer from pain for it to be classified as TMS is a hotly debated topic. Many professionals posit that just a few weeks of chronic pain without prior injury is sufficient grounds for a TMS diagnosis.

Victim: You think of yourself as an unlucky victim of external circumstances, and you often feel powerless.

2. Does your pain tend to move around or change intensity (i.e., it comes and goes, spreads or swaps to a different location)? 3. Do you suffer or did you use to suffer from any other chronic condition (for example, IBS, vertigo, acid reflux, tension headaches, migraines, sinus problems) that tend to keep recurring in your life? 4. Do you experience chronic pain in different areas of the body (such as back pain and neck pain, or the same pain on different sides of the body)? 5. Does your pain vary in intensity throughout the day (for example, worse in the morning, better in the evening, or vice versa)? 6. Does your pain have a pattern or a threshold (i.e., does it always present after certain movements or activities or after you have been doing an activity for a certain amount of time, for instance, after sitting down for longer than 30 minutes)? 7. Have there been any exceptions to your pain (for example, it was better or worse when you were on holiday or a break from routine, or during an emergency)? 8. Do you identify with any of the following personalities? Ambitious and perfectionist: You want to be as perfect as possible in anything you do, and often put pressure on yourself or find yourself criticizing the work of others. People-pleaser: You tend to always put others’ needs first and are very afraid of conflict with the people around you. Catastrophic/anxious personality: You often tend to think of the worst-case scenario.

Stoic: Expressing your feelings doesn’t come naturally to you; you see doing so as a sign of weakness, or you often don’t know how you feel. Legalist: You are very critical of others and are determined to always be right. Low self-esteem: You often feel like you’re not good enough and are scared to voice your opinions and feelings, or to pursue your ambitions. Dependent: You are afraid to take on challenging tasks, like delegating responsibility and decision-making to others, and believe that happiness comes from other people and external circumstances. You are very scared of rejection. Health anxiety: Do you tend to worry about your health more than the average person? 9. Were you going through a particularly stressful time when or in the year before the pain started (for example, family arguments, high-stress job, job loss or threat of job loss, breakups, serious illness)? 10. Did you go through a significant change in your life when or right before the pain started (for example, the wedding or birth of a child, change in career, loss of a loved one)? 11. Did your pain get worse when other people (including medical professionals) warned you to “be careful” or shared their own painful experiences with you? 12. Do you find yourself planning your day around your symptoms (for example, avoiding specific activities to prevent flare-ups, scanning or checking your body for symptoms even when the pain is low, taking frequent rests, frequently googling your symptoms and what they could mean, trying out a specific diet, etc.)?

If you answered yes to the first question and to more than three additional questions from the list above, then you are likely suffering from TMS pain. Many consider the four-month duration of pain to be the benchmark for pain that follows injury, and a lot less time in cases of sudden onset of pain.

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SAMPLE

The Sarno Gemach This is one of the rarest gemachim I’ve come across. While there are several gemachim internationally that lend Dr. Sarno’s books to people, this one is different.

inside of them. It’s also so liberating for a person to realize that via this method, whatever emotional garbage is inside them is not scary to contend with.

Pnina Schoss, the driving force behind this revolutionary idea, offers a free thirty-minute coaching call to anyone who would like to heal themselves via the Sarno method. Pnina breaks the method down and explains the concept, clearly based on the symptoms the individual is suffering from. She then guides the individual down their path to healing, either by instructing them how to practice the method themselves, or by directing them to further reading on the topic.

“The Sarno method is largely about owning the idea. The people I speak to won’t get better by listening to me speak,” Pnina underscores. “They have to realize that they need to do this themselves—and believe in it totally and completely—in order to get better. Don’t rely on me to heal you, is my message to people.”

How does Pnina guide callers to practice the Sarno method? Based on the individual’s personality type, she encourages them to keep a journal, talk to the mirror, or other methods. In addition to her work as “teacher” of the Sarno method, Pnina also lends out Dr. Sarno’s books (The Divided Mind is her personal favorite) and other resources on the topic. In my conversation with her, she mentions that the past Sample on the Sarno method was added to her resources repository, and that makes me feel quite pleased. Pnina’s passion for all things Sarno is apparent as we talk, and she shares her incredible story of how the Sarno method helped her out of an issue she suffered from. Since then, she’s been driven to help others get better in the same way. Having been a teacher in the past, Pnina really missed the classroom, so running this gemach has helped her tap into the forever-a-teacher part of herself. Pnina’s favorite part of running her gemach, aside from the heartwarming success stories? Hearing that long exhale on the other side of the wire. It’s the bingo moment; the moment it clicks. It’s a relief for a person to finally understand their psyche and what’s at play

Because of that, Pnina doesn’t require the people using her gemach to provide feedback or updates, although she very much appreciates hearing what transpired after they hung up the phone. What’s the most common question Pnina is asked by individuals who approach her? “Once I acknowledge the suppressed rage in me, will I have to address the problems? Will I need to go to therapy?” Pnina uses Dr. Sarno’s own words to answer concerned callers. No, you won’t have to go down that avenue, although it is advisable to rid oneself of this kind of baggage. Education of how this works can be enough to heal you. Pnina’s goal is to help people get out of physical pain, not to get all their emotional debris out of the way. For many people, practicing the Sarno method is like an in-and-out errand. They acknowledge their emotional pain, release their physical pain, and that’s the end of it.. Others, however, choose to delve in and do the long-haul emotional route, whether through selfhelp books, coaching, or therapy. Different stripes for different types, that’s what she chalks it up to. Pnina is grateful to be able to facilitate others’ healing, their journeys to become a better, more content self and a stronger, more connected Yid. Pnina can be contacted via Wellspring.

Results Go. For. It. This method is noninvasive, simple, effective, and totally free. Acknowledge the mind-body connection today and feel better… even today!

WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

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CUP OF TEA

WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

Cup of Tea with

Batya Jacobs Batya Jacobs

AGE: 73 LOCATION: Moshav Matityahu, Israel FAMILY: Married, mother of nine sons and one daughter; a grandmother and great-grandmother ka”h

OCCUPATION: Therapist in private practice, retired social worker, published writer, and member of a playback troupe

PASSION: Learning about the world and using her all to make it a better place.

SHE WISHES PEOPLE WOULD KNOW: That today is a day of your life to be used in the best way you can.

By Roizy Baum WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

CUP OF TEA

In the realm of therapy, where serious emotions and introspection often take center stage, it’s not every day you get to meet a practitioner who seamlessly blends expertise with a fun spirit.

Speaking with Batya Jacobs, a narrative therapist way past retirement age who is still going strong, is a privilege. With words infused with a delightful dose of positivity, she offers a fresh perspective on healing and discovery. We even had a little “baby” join our 12:00 a.m. Zoom session—Batya’s sourdough! Batya stretched and folded her dough with vigor, displaying a vitality that belied her 6:30 a.m. wakeup. Truly a woman who never tires! Batya shares how it all began. “It was the day I sent my youngest to playgroup when I realized, Hey! I have lots of time on hand. It’s the perfect time to pursue a job.” Blessed with boundless energy, it’s no wonder she was itching to go work. And she has it in her blood to help others. “The giving attitude I grew up with was contagious, and luckily, I caught it; it’s in my bones. My father was a British family doctor

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and was expected to be on call 24/7 from clinic to telephone, from telephone to house visits, any time of the day or night. He was constantly giving and giving. Those were the days when doctors had a real relationship with their patients, when their care and concern itself had the power to heal. My mother, as a marriage counselor, exemplified the same.” Following in their giving footsteps, Batya’s brother is a doctor and her sister a speech therapist. And Batya? For her, social work always called her name. Nurturing Narratives “Honestly, I always had it in me,” Batya shares. “It just got an official name once I trained. And I view it as an attitude, not a therapy. I collaborate with clients to find and grow the type of life they want to live—their story.” How is it done? Batya, an expert at asking questions, col-

laborates with the client, who is the expert at “herself.” Together, they find out about values, hopes and commitments. Today, she’s passionate about engaging in “narrative attitude.” Narrative therapy considers individuals as separate entities from their problems and destructive behaviors, thereby granting them the opportunity to distance themselves from their difficulties. It enables them to recognize how their difficulties are not just there to hurt them, but may, in fact, serve a beneficial role. Through this lens, individuals gain the power to shift their thought processes and actions and “rewrite” their life story, this time toward a future that aligns with their true selves, their potential, and their distinct purpose. Batya elaborates: “Using the narrative attitude approach, I help clients put together their narratives. These stories have the power to shape a person’s sense of self. They

allow individuals to find their voice and explore experiences. As her story is assembled and the client becomes an observer to her story, we look at it together and work to separate the individual from her challenges. “Narrative therapy is the understanding that problems aren’t us,” Batya explains. “Yes, the problems work on us and could potentially push us to reevaluate, to grow, but if they push too hard we’re at risk of falling instead.” She describes her thought process when she broke her right wrist. “I couldn’t do anything, be it writing, typing, or even thinking. Yes, I had the ability to write and type slowly with my left hand, but instead of being productive, I just sat staring, drip-dropping tears for all my past miseries, while failures streamed into my thoughts.” Not ready to let Broken Wrist win, Batya shook her thoughts away, shut her computer, and went to prepare a

WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

CUP OF TEA

left-handed salad. “A pretty similar recipe to a right-handed salad, only with bigger pieces,” Batya jokes. “To prove that we are not our problems; problems try to run our lives, but we hold the steering wheel. It’s up to us to see that our problems are something we have and not something that identifies us. The feelings should not dominate us.” It’s her boundless creativity coupled with her affable demeanor that naturally draws clients to Batya. “I have this white sauce principle I often share with clients,” Batya relates. “It’s a principle that speaks to anyone who wants to make a change but finds it insurmountable. The cooks, though, always nod knowingly.” Batya then explains how a white sauce starts as a solid mixture of warmed oil, butter or margarine, and flour. “The goal of changing the solid mass into a thickened liquid is an art that requires patience. You must begin by adding liquid one drop at a time and mix, but if you’re too hasty in the beginning, you’ll end up with a lumpy sauce, with the liquid and solid fighting it out to the bitter end. So too, when introducing changes, the way to go is to slowly—to slowly absorb the minuscule changes until they are a part of you.” She then adds good-naturedly, “If this is not relevant to you just now, at least you mastered how to achieve a perfect white sauce.” A Person, Not a Problem Much has evolved since two decades ago when Batya first trained as a social worker and one of the things that concern her in the current landscape of psychotherapy is that diagnoses are dispensed way too hastily, often getting in the way of healing. A diagnosis, Batya feels, often results in certain expectations—or lack thereof— that can limit our ability to truly listen, as we can’t hear any counterplots. Batya’s approach is to meet the “person first,” to look for their values and beliefs, and see them as a genuine human being, not just a diagnosis. “I remember when I was doing my social work placements as a student. We had to be extremely careful to say that the patient was 56

WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

“As her story is assembled and the client becomes an observer to her story, we look at it together and work to separate the individual from her challenges.”

living with depression, schizophrenia, OCD, or what-have-you,” Batya recalls. “We never let the word depressive fall from our lips. There was the person in their own right, and there was a disease they were living with. I’m not sure if we really understood the concept back then, but we kept up the lip service. “Today, as a narrative therapist, I apply the same idea to all problems: Problems are not the person; they work on the person. I see the problem in terms of its effects, tricks, and motives. For example, I may see someone who is living with bipolar disorder, and neither she nor the condition is the problem. Her problem is how it interferes with the life she wants to lead. We first need to whittle out her ideas, values, and beliefs, and her dreams of the life she wants to live. Only then can we see where bipolar is interfering and continue from there.” Skip the Serious Batya has always been determined to change the image of the stereotypical social worker. “I always felt social work was a bit square. Anyone who knows me knows I’m out of the box and that I don’t stick to the rules. Oh, and I love working with children as well. Yeah, I know it’s time for me to grow up.” Matching her overall approach in life, Batya believes therapy doesn’t have to be so serious. And that’s why she loves playback. As perfectly articulated in one of Batya’s posts: “Know all about playback? You know where a brave member of the audience shares a story and the playbackers reflect back their understanding of that story. Almost instantaneous improv in front of an audience. Terrifying but so rewarding. “So, I’ve noticed that the more I use those playback skills, that acting out and joining, the more my clients relax, the more laughter slips into the room, and the more the problem is forced to loosen its grip. Try it out!” The concept of playback—taking a personal story from an audience or group member and acting it out on the spot—aligns seamlessly with narrative therapy’s model of externaliz-

Keep Calm

ing problems. Both take the stories through different points of view, rendering them more comprehensible, unlocking previously closed doors, and presenting a fresh world of re-think. “Playback is not a therapy. It’s an entertainment that can work even better than therapy. We’ve used it in places of trauma. Basically, it’s taking your story and playing it back to you with a different point of view. Clients tell stories about their experiences in relation to trauma, watch them played back, and then explore ways to create a safe environment.” From difficult to delightful, Batya has played many parts as she acted out stories. “In a seminary, the girls shared a story about a roommate not taking out the garbage”— pretty traumatic for a neat-freak seminary-aged teen!—“and I played out the story to them. Guess which part I chose to play? Yes, I was the garbage pail!” Batya’s positivity radiates into every facet of her life. It’s almost unsurprising that someone of Batya’s caliber regards “encountering cancer twice” as merely a bump-in. Channeling her experience for the greater good, Batya established a chemo journey support group. “I journeyed through and, with a few hiccups, I came out smiling. I was strengthened by my experience and was longing to share my strength with others. Voilà! A support group was born. Together, we brainstorm to use our trying experiences for the good.” For someone who’s been through her fair share of trials and tribulations, Batya is a beacon of hope and light for many. “When we channel everything that occurs to us for good, to connect better to ourselves and others, every challenge becomes worth it.”

In the midst of the current chaos in Eretz Yisrael and around the world, I ask Batya what message she has for Wellspring readers about keeping calm and helping our children stay regulated. There’s a tried-and-true tip she shares first. “When I’m in contact with someone who’s not calm, I speak in a rhythmic voice, like I would to a baby. It always helps. Also, don’t forget that children pick up on our fear or unease. If the parent projects true calmness, it will have an effect on the child.” Additionally, Batya imparts a calming technique for children, breaking it down into three simple steps. 1. Acknowledge their feelings. 2. Describe what they’re doing. Help them put it into words. 3. Finally, when they’re safe, tell them you’re here for them. Let’s say a child woke up with a nightmare. Begin by calmly acknowledging the child’s emotions. Gently express, “I notice you’re frightened; I see you’re crying.” Next, provide an understanding narrative, explaining, “You awoke from your sleep because you had a distressing dream.” Once the child is in a safe and composed state after the nightmare, reassure them of their safety and your presence, saying, “You are safe now, I’m here with you.” What about adults? Any calming tips for them? Batya is a believer of the 5-4-3-2-1 method. Working backward from 5, use your senses to list things you notice around you. For instance: • 5 things you hear • 4 things you see • 3 things you can touch from where you’re sitting • 2 things you can smell • 1 thing you can taste “Take a moment to observe the small details that often go unnoticed,” says Batya. “Such as the color of the light bulb or the hum of the air conditioner. And physically, I encourage my clients to literally ground themselves. I tell them to stand firmly on the ground and imagine sending roots into the floor. Breathing exercises and natural tapping are also great tips for an adult to use when they want to induce a greater state of calm.”

WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

SERIAL DIARY

Recap: Once Fradel decides to be open about her colitis, she notices that so many others walk around holding onto their own secrets. She makes it her mission to analyze the effects of secret keeping and educate others on how toxic this behavior can be.

I dial 273# and hold my breath. There it is. Fradel Bergstein at the podium, unloading her kishkes to who knows how many captivated listeners. “The Grand Exposé”—aired on the popular Chazak line—is the latest in the personal stories section. I hear myself speak candidly about the dual purpose of this talk: to encourage those silently suffering from chronic conditions and to bring up the topic of secrets. In the talk, I also share coping strategies and lessons I’ve learned—and continue to learn—throughout my journey. Articulating these thoughts is thrilling for me and I do it with the hope of leaving listeners empowered and uplifted. At the end of the 30-minute monologue, I throw the ball into the listeners’ court. “Based on my experience with secrets and keeping my condition a secret, I realize that so many of us have secrets…While it’s smart to protect your privacy and not to make your secret public knowledge…at the same time, you

WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

need to acknowledge the importance of getting support and being able to share your secret with just one or two people who are sensitive—who will understand how to validate you without making you feel like they pity you… “So, I’ve made a project of this, and I’ve actually created a survey to collect information about people and the secrets they keep, and how it affects them. It’s completely anonymous. Please tell your friends and family members about it…I hope to publish the results of the survey and what you learned from the survey in a book.” I’ve done it! Now it’s only a matter of time until the reactions come in. Curiosity and impatience become my bedtime companions until the first trickles of feedback dribble in. An impressive 340 people respond to my survey. And some brave souls actually reach out to me personally after hearing my lecture. One of the women who reaches out is a fellow frum mother from a very different cultural background to mine.

Chapter 4 Feedback and Friendship by Fradel Bergstein, as told to C.L. Beer

But hearing my story, Dina shares, touched a deep place inside of her, as she’s also been living with a chronic condition and hasn’t received emotional validation or support. “I heard your story, Fradel, and I really connected to it,” she says. “Growing up with a secret medical condition was so, so difficult. I walked around feeling heavy, with no outlet to release the feelings I was carrying around in my young heart.” Gratified to have made an impact, I listen to Dina’s story. Years of squelched emotions are begging to be released, and I want to help her. I devote much effort into finding her an appropriate support partner. A few days later, my new friend calls again. This time, she breaks down—déjà vu at its finest. Just like me, she’s been caught completely off guard by the “unfinished emotional business” that has come to the surface, like a dormant volcano erupting with shocking intensity. It takes some cajoling on my part to get Dina to reach out for support and to learn how to tackle her overwhelming emotions. We keep in touch, and hearing about each other’s experiences is beneficial for us both. Over time, she learns to let go of the secrecy and shame she’s been associ-

ating with her condition for way too long. Today, Dina runs a phone support group for women with Crohn’s and colitis, and I’m eternally grateful to have played a role in its development. Several of the women she coaches have, upon her gentle prodding, begun their own journeys to emotional wellness. Who knows how far the chain reaction will reach? My book on secrets has not yet materialized, although I did glean fascinating insights into the workings of human nature. In any case, I continue writing the story of my own life, colored by my secret past and revealed present. And of course, on a personal level, I’m always keeping my eyes and ears open for sources of support. After all, I’m the first to admit how important this is. Having made my condition more public has certainly helped me deal with it emotionally, but the physical pain associated with the condition is still very much a part of my life. Knowing I have the support that “gets” me is just what I need to help me get through it.

TO BE CONTINUED WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

DIY

y t i l i u q n a r T t r o p p Su By Miriam Schweid If you’re overwhelmed with stress or anxiety during this period, you may be experiencing one or more of the following symptoms: • Loss of appetite • Loss of interest in pursuits that usually spark joy or keep you occupied • Insomnia • Tendency to break into tears easily • Edginess While emotional issues should always be addressed at their root, Bach Flower remedies (which can be purchased at a health food store or on Amazon) have proven to be a helpful accompaniment to the healing journey as they promote internal tranquility. Bach remedies are safe for use for all ages, and they do not interfere with psychiatric intervention. Here’s one effective remedy blend for tranquility support. After several days of use, you will notice your appetite returning and an increased sensation of calm. 10 drops rock rose 10 drops cherry plum 10 drops mimulus 10 drops elm 20 drops Rescue Remedy 1 oz spring water Combine all ingredients in a 1-oz bottle. Take 3 drops every 3 hours or place 10 drops in 8 oz of water and sip throughout the day. 60

WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

New Parent i Seriesng !

Unprocessed Emotions Don’t Go Away How to be there for our children in the way only we can

OT @ HOME UNDERSTANDING PTSD

TAP IN CAN I FOLLOW THE APPROACH WHILE HOPING TO LOSE WEIGHT?

TAP IN

TAP IN by Gila Glassberg, RDN, CDN, Certified Intuitive Eating Coach

WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

QUESTION I definitely hear the merits of eating intuitively without a focus on weight loss. The weight loss messages are often damaging and feed into an obsession with the external. But what if I like the concept of Intuitive Eating, of listening in to my own self to hear what I need, but I’d still would like to maintain a certain weight or lose a few pounds? I’m not interested in drastic weight loss; I just want to look the way I feel best about myself. Can the two work hand in hand?

ANSWER

This is one of the most common questions I get. And the answer is, of course, yes. The reason I say an immediate yes is because I’m acknowledging that you are a human being. And that you’re living in 2023. Don’t we all want to be thin, rich, beautiful, have a perfectly organized kitchen with a perfectly organized life? We are bombarded with messages that being thin is high, high up on the priorities list. For many, it may even trump their sanity and their quality of life. Many find this hard to believe. When they express this sentiment, I encourage them to pay attention to their next Shabbos meal or date out with a friend. How high are the chances that dieting will come up in some form or another? From the more extreme, “Oh, your daughter is dating, you know she’ll have to lose weight first,” to “Oh, wow, you look amazing; did you lose weight? How did you do it?” To “Nah, I don’t want a cookie, I’m trying to be ‘good,’” or “Can you put this away for me for after my sister’s wedding? I’d love to have it but I want to look my best.” It’s safe to say that dieting and the desire for weight loss are an obsession for many.

At the same time, we shouldn’t be beating ourselves up about wanting something that everyone around us wants. What we can do is simply get in touch with our deepest self, even for just a minute. We want to realize that yes, we are all different. We all look different. Our hair, our eyes, our body shape, our size. We are all meant to look different, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. So, yes, while you can definitely try to implement the principles of Intuitive Eating into your life while you’re also trying to lose some weight, keep in mind that you may find yourself getting stuck. What if your body needs more food one day, but you can’t veer off your diet plan? What if your hunger cues are in contradiction to what will achieve the most weight loss? Contrary to popular belief, Intuitive Eating is not about “letting loose.” At the same time, it’s also a cure to the restrictive mindset that most weight loss plans encourage. Therefore, you may find it hard to reconcile the two pursuits. As you go along and notice the incongruities coming up, you’ll need to make a choice every time: What do I want more?

Have questions about the Intuitive Eating approach? Send them to info@wellspringmagazine.com and Gila will be glad to answer them in this space. Gila Glassberg is a Master's level registered dietitian and a certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. As a teenager, she was faced with constant diet talk, body shaming, and obsessive guilt around food, but now that she has found food freedom through the process of Intuitive Eating, she's eager to share its wisdom with others. Gila works privately with clients and she also presents workshops. The name of her podcast is Get INTUIT with Gila, and she writes blog entries on her website, www.gilaglassberg.com. She can be reached at 570-878-3642.

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OT@HOME

More Than the Usual Stress Exploring PTSD

by Miriam Frankel, OT Miriam (Manela) Frankel OTR/L is a mental health occupational therapist, founder of the online platform ChildrenBloom.com, and The Thrive Group, with offices in Brooklyn and Passaic. ChildrenBloom.com provides toolkits for parents and educators to deal with struggling children. Miriam is the author of The Parent-Child Dance and an international speaker.

WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

In light of current events, this article explores post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), the challenges that can arise if left untreated, and why seeking help is crucial. PTSD is a common mental health condition that can develop after a traumatic event and have profound and long-lasting effects on an individual’s life. Self-image, perception of life’s experiences, and quality of life are all impacted by PTSD, and it can affect the sufferer’s loved ones too. War, traumatic life events, unexpected death in the family, serious illness, or significant injury can all cause PTSD. When an individual with untreated PTSD encounters a situation that triggers the past or experiences a trauma response, the condition keeps wiring them to react with nervousness, anxiety, or retreat— whichever coping mechanism they resort to. So, instead of their PTSD symptoms decreasing over time, they may actually increase.

Common symptoms of PTSD include the following: • Vivid flashbacks (as if the trauma is happening in real time) • Anxiety • Negative thoughts and beliefs • Intrusive thoughts or images • Hypervigilance • Nightmares • Intense distress at real or symbolic reminders of the trauma • Physical sensations such as pain, sweating, nausea, or trembling The emotions can feel incredibly overwhelming and cause the individual to be unable to feel emotions or to feel “numb.” Untreated PTSD can have a range of effects on an individual’s wellbeing, including relationship issues and physical health problems.

Seeking Help Reaching out for professional help to manage PTSD is a brave and necessary step toward healing. While the main avenue for treating PTSD will involve the support of a competent counselor, along with medication when necessary, here is a sampling of techniques that can help overcome anxiety in the moment. • Exercise or get active outdoors in the sunlight to generate the secretion of feel-good hormones. • Alternate talking to people for support and distracting yourself with something that can spark joy and comfort. • Harness the power of rhythm and routine, which provide a sense of predictability that can help reduce anxiety. Some examples: 1. Create a predictable schedule for your day. 2. Exercise with music to a rhythmic beat. 3. Jump on a trampoline or run on a treadmill. 4. Wrap yourself in a blanket while rocking and drinking a warm, soothing beverage. While PTSD is a more serious condition than regular stress, if the symptoms are taken seriously and proper support is sought, recovery is certainly possible.

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INNER PARENTING

NEW SERIES

Unprocessed Emotions Don’t Go Away There’s Something Our Child Needs That We Parents Can Give Them Best By Shiffy Friedman

WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

A short while ago, I was asked to come down to a ninth-grade class to speak with the students about a difficult subject: their classmate’s recent petirah, r”l. While sitting with these shattered girls, their stories emerged. One classmate had been absent from school since the levayah. Another was waking up with nightmares every night without fail. A third felt such guilt, wondering if she was doing enough to eternalize her friend’s neshamah. Others were numb to the entire experience. And regardless of their unique response, each of them—all 24 of them—had emotions to process.

enter adulthood with this kind of faith; with the fortitude to face their emotions, the wisdom and compassion to accept them, and the feeling that someone’s at their side supporting them through it all.

A one-time heart-to-heart in their classroom wouldn’t make their pain or worry or guilt or fear go away, but what I davened that our time together would give these impressionable young girls is faith. Faith in the healing process, faith that there’s a means to grow from their pain, faith in themselves that they’ve got what it takes to move on and come out stronger than before, and most of all, faith in Hakadosh Baruch Hu that He runs this world with precision and kindness.

In this series, we will be’ezras Hashem learn together how to be that someone. And because this is the Inner Parenting space, we’ll learn how to be the support not only for our children, but also for ourselves, as we discover how to take note of just how much our own past comes to the fore in our parenting experience.

As a parent, and as someone who’s been involved in the parenting and inner parenting journeys of many of my fellow Yidden, it’s my tefillah that every child—especially those who exhibit intense emotion—should emerge from their childhood and

And if a child could have one—just one—blessing from this list, there’s nothing more important than the last: the feeling that someone’s at their side supporting them through it all. I want to bentch you, dear readers, that this someone in your child’s life should be you. To Be That Someone

As I often say, if more people in this world would find that someone in their parent, there would be so much less dysfunction, less relationship issues, and so much less angst. But, of course, everything that happened in the past is just the way Hakadosh Baruch Hu, in His wisdom, destined it to be. What He’s left in our hands is the hishtadlus for the future, and we want to give it our best shot. There’s no better time to

launch this series than right now, during this turbulent period for Klal Yisrael, when so many parents are grappling with questions—their children’s and their own. What do I tell my children?

If a child could have one—just one—blessing from this list, there’s nothing more important than the last. How much do I share? How do I answer their constant questions about the past, present, and future when I myself am in the dark? How do I deal with nightmares? And, of course, how do I deal with my own emotions as I try to help my child? I look forward to exploring these important topics in this space, and I welcome all your questions and comments.

In addition to her work as a writer, teacher, and counselor, Shiffy Friedman is the founding director of LAHAV, an initiative that spreads awareness about the pathways to connection, contentment, and inner peace through Torah. To sign up to receive her messages on the topic, please write to info@lahavinitiative.org. To hear more about LAHAV, as well as demos from LAHAV classes, please call the hotline at (646) 693-1700.

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- A LC O H O L I N F U S E D S O R B E T TO -

REFRESH RESPONSIBLY 68

MUST BE 21 TO PURCHASE - FIND IT IN THE FREEZER AT YOUR LOCAL SUPERMARKET - PRODUCT OF USA WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

NOVEMBER 2023 / CHESHVAN 5784 / ISSUE 94

All-inOne THE PERFECT POWER BOWL FOR YOUR PRODUCTIVE DAY

MY TABLE OUR GO-TO VEGGIE SIDES ENCORE HUNGARIAN GOULASH TURNS A HOUSE INTO A HOME

TEA TIME 6 TEAS AND THEIR NUTRITION FACTS

80 Encore By Charnie Kohn

82 Warm Up By Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

73 Powered by the Bowl By Yossi & Malky Levine

SWAP By Yossi & Malky Levine

My Table Wellspring contributors

WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

EDITOR'S NOTE

Dear Cooks,

Sometimes you read a line that just resonates with you, and you don’t forget it that quickly. One of those was right here in Wellspring, in issue #33 to be exact. In her Cup of Tea interview, Sadkhin practitioner Toby Lebovits shared how the responses she often gets for her food choices often reflect a lack of awareness. Here’s the part I related to (pulled up from the archives for this letter!): “I could be at a wedding where there’s a Viennese table offering ice cream and cake and apple pie and chocolate. At such affairs, I usually go for the pineapple, which is such a chore to cut up at home. And invariably, someone will come up to me and say, ‘Pineapple is fattening.’ I look at them and think, ‘I guess I should go for brownies.’” I laughed when I read that line, but I was also shaking my head in agreement because I’ve experienced such incidents myself. Sometimes I’ll have a bag of nuts for a snack in the company of others, and someone will ask, “But aren’t nuts fattening?” Putting the argument against obsession with weight loss aside, I believe this question stems from a lack of awareness regarding fats—as in, the food group. When consumed in sensible quantities, healthy (monounsaturated and polyunsaturated) fats, such as those derived from nuts, are good for us.

They don’t only lubricate the many critical systems and energize the body, but they can even—believe it or not—aid in weight loss by firing up the fat-burning process. For this reason, I was excited to see the Levines’ SWAP choice this month, from regular peanut butter to natural peanut butter. If fat content is a consumer’s main concern, they’ll opt for reduced-fat peanut butter (a choice most dieters go with). However, once we understand that (a) the fat content in peanut butter is actually beneficial to the body, and (b) even reduced-fat peanut butter contains ingredients other than peanuts, namely sugar and/or corn syrup, which are exponentially more detrimental than unsaturated fats, we go for the natural choice. And if you’re a peanut butter fan (like I am), whether you start swapping regular or reduced-fat peanut butter for the natural alternative, or you’ve been using natural peanut butter for years (amazing when drizzled on green apple!), you’ll love the protein bar featured in this issue’s SWAP. It’s a reinvented healthy peanut chew, filled with energy-boosting goodness. To a peaceful, healthy fall,

Esther

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No cheese cheese snack 100% parve 100% plant based

Powered by the Bowl Especially at a time of year when we can be most productive with our endeavors, fueling ourselves right goes a long way toward making that happen. In this issue, we bring you two fabulous meal-in-a-bowl ideas that can be prepared ahead of time so even if you spend your day away from the kitchen, you can grab the pre-prepped bowl in the morning and be powered for your day. If you want to be extra kind today, prepare an extra serving for that coworker who’s looking over your shoulder as you’re enjoying your hearty, colorful, flavor-packed meal.

Recipes, Styling, and Photography by Yossi & Malky Levine

WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

Salmon Poke Bowl Whole grain brown rice, cooked

Honey Garlic Soy Dressing

Seaweed, cut into thin strips

2 Tbsp soy sauce

Cucumber, peeled into ribbons

¼ cup honey

Avocado, cut into wedges

2 frozen garlic cubes

Carrot, peeled into ribbons

1 tsp rice vinegar

Green peppers, thinly sliced

1 tsp toasted sesame oil

Edamame beans, cooked and shelled Wasabi peas Flaked Salmon Salmon fillet Olive oil Salt and pepper

Preheat oven to 375°F. Place salmon fillet on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and drizzle with a bit of olive oil. Season with salt and pepper. (If you prefer, you can also add herbs or spices like dill, garlic powder, or paprika for extra flavor.) Prepare brown rice according to package instructions. Once cooked, let cool to room temperature. Bake salmon for about 15–20 minutes. Remove from oven and let rest for 5 minutes. Use a fork to gently flake salmon into bite-sized pieces. In a small bowl, whisk together soy sauce, honey, garlic, rice vinegar, and sesame oil. Set aside. To assemble the poke bowl, start by adding cooked rice and seaweed strips, then arrange the cucumber ribbons, flaked salmon, avocado, carrot ribbons, green pepper, and edamame beans. Top with wasabi peas. Drizzle dressing over salad and gently toss to combine all flavors. (Take care not to break up the salmon too much.)

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WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

Sweet Potato Tofu Bowl Tricolor quinoa, cooked

Lemon Tahini Dressing

Sweet potato slices, roasted

1 cup water

Broccoli florets, roasted

¾ cup tahini

Shiitake mushrooms, roasted

1 tsp salt

Tofu, seared in Soy Dressing

Juice of 1 lemon

Radish, sliced (use a mandolin slicer)

2 garlic cloves

Curly leaf lettuce Soy Dressing ¼ cup honey 2 Tbsp soy sauce 1 frozen garlic cube

Prepare the quinoa according to the package instructions and set aside. Preheat oven to 400°F. Place sweet potato slices, broccoli florets, and shiitake mushrooms on a baking sheet and drizzle with a bit of olive oil, salt, and pepper. Roast for 20–25 minutes or until they are tender and slightly crispy. Remove the mushrooms halfway through. While the vegetables are roasting, whisk together the soy dressing ingredients and slice the tofu into long rectangular squares. Heat a skillet over low heat and sear the tofu in the soy dressing until it is browned and has absorbed the flavors. In a bowl, add all ingredients for the Lemon Tahini Dressing and use a hand blender to blend until it’s smooth and fully combined. To assemble the bowl, add the curly leaf lettuce, cooked quinoa, roasted sweet potato slices, broccoli, shiitake mushrooms, sliced radish and the seared tofu and drizzle with the Lemon Tahini Dressing.

WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

SWAP

SWA P

By Yossi & Malky Levine

Peanuts are considered a superfood because they provide a high nutrition density even in small servings. Peanut butter efficiently maintains blood sugar, blood pressure, and cholesterol levels. While most commercially sold peanut butter consists of peanuts, the ingredient list incorporates sugar, vegetable oil, salts, dextrose, and corn syrup to improve flavor and smoothness. (Even the reduced-fat versions contain sugar.) To get the best health benefits from peanut butter, look for all-natural products without added ingredients. Natural peanut butter is made with just peanuts and a bit of salt. When natural peanut butter sits up on the shelf, its natural oils get separated from the solids. This is because peanut oil floats to the surface. To retrieve its proper texture, stir before eating. (Tip: It’s advisable to store the bottle upside down so the oil won’t separate from the solid.) Some health benefits of natural peanut butter: • Natural peanut butter is calorie dense, but most of the calories are from unsaturated fats. • A single serving of natural peanut butter provides around 7 percent of the daily fiber needs. • The carbohydrates in natural peanut butter are complex carbohydrates, which the body requires to support the metabolism. • The zinc in natural peanut butter reduces age-related diseases and boosts the immune system. • The fiber content in natural peanut butter maintains bowel health. • Natural peanut butter contains phosphorus, promotes healthy nerve conduction, and manages energy storage and usage. It helps with muscle contraction and keeps bones healthy.

Peanut Butter Protein Bars Say hello to your new favorite snack! These healthy homemade peanut butter protein bars are no-bake and the only required utensils are a bowl and spoon. Enjoy them as you go through your day and send some with the kids to school (if they last through the bus ride!). While store-bought bars do the job from time to time, nothing tastes quite as wonderful as making your own wholesome bars with simple and nourishing ingredients. Enjoy as a post-workout snack or a late afternoon pick-me-up. 1 cup peanut butter ¾ cup honey or maple syrup 2 scoops vanilla protein powder, optional 1½ cups rolled oats ¼ cup chopped nuts (almonds or peanuts) ¼ cup dark chocolate chips 1 tsp vanilla extract Dash of salt

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In a mixing bowl, combine peanut butter and honey or maple syrup. Microwave for 30 seconds to soften. Stir in vanilla protein powder (if using), rolled oats, chopped nuts, dark chocolate chips, vanilla extract, and salt. Mix until well combined. Press mixture into a lined 10x10-inch square baking dish. Refrigerate for 1–2 hours, or until firm. Remove from refrigerator and cut into bars or squares. Store bars in an airtight container in refrigerator for up to one week.

WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

ENCORE

Hungarian Goulash Total cooking time: 2 hours Now that the temperature outside is dropping, bring Hungarian warmth into your home. Dig in to a bowl of the ultimate Hungarian comfort food and feel the chill leave your bones.

2 lb kolichel 2 Tbsp oil, for sautéing 1 onion, cut into thin half rings ½ green pepper, finely diced 1 small plum tomato, finely diced 2 potatoes, cut into 1-inch cubes 2 cloves garlic, minced 2 Tbsp Hungarian paprika ¼ tsp black pepper 2 cups water

Cut kolichel into 1-inch cubes (or ask the butcher to do so). Place oil in a pot and heat over medium heat. Sear meat cubes for 3 minutes per side, then set aside. Add onion, pepper, and tomato to the pot and sauté for approximately 20 minutes. Add the rest of the ingredients into the pot, cover and lower heat to low. Cook for 1½ hours, stirring once or twice.

Recipe, text, and styling by Charnie Kohn

WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

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TIDBITS

WARM UP 6 types of tea and their nutrition facts Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

While tea is always “in season,” with temperatures dropping, we’re entering the time of year when this hot beverage is all the more welcome. Below are six categories of tea and some nutrition fun facts about each.

Herbal Tea

Green Tea

There’s a vast variety of herbal teas, but what they all have in common is that they’re made by soaking a variety of leaves, flowers, or spices (unlike green, black, white, and oolong tea, which come from the tea plant itself). Most don’t contain caffeine, making them a good option for those who may be sensitive to caffeine or want to limit their intake. (For examples of herbal teas and their benefits, stay tuned for a future Tidbits.)

Green tea is made from a plant called Camellia sinesis, which is also used for preparing black and oolong teas. The leaves and buds of the plant are fried and dried before they’re cooked as a tea. Polyphenols are thought to be the main compound behind the many health benefits of green tea. Studies have shown that green tea helps improve cognitive function, decrease risk of certain cancers and heart disease, promote anti-aging effects, and manage blood sugar—and the list goes on. Additional vitamins and minerals found in green tea include calcium, iron, and potassium. It is important to note that green tea contains caffeine as well.

Matcha Tea

Black Tea

In this type of green tea, the leaves are transformed into a powder that is more potent than regular green tea. Matcha tea is described as sweeter and with a creamier mouthfeel than regular green tea. Studies suggest that the antioxidants of matcha tea may be even stronger than traditional looseleaf green tea, though the evidence needs further clarification.

Black tea, like green tea, is also made from the Camellia sinesis plant, but in this case the leaves are fermented too. The fermentation process results in a darker color of the tea and a deep earthy flavor, as well as the conversion of the antioxidant catechin (found in green tea) to the antioxidant theaflavin (found in black tea). Black tea also contains the highest amount of caffeine of all tea varieties (though only around a third of the amount of caffeine as coffee). While the antioxidants of green tea may be more potent, studies indicate that the health benefits of black and green teas may be similar. Minerals found in black tea include potassium, magnesium, and phosphorus.

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TIDBITS

Oolong Tea While similar to black tea, black tea is fully fermented while oolong tea comes from leaves that are only partially fermented. This results in a lighter color and a different aroma. Interestingly, some research suggests that nutrients in oolong tea have a higher antioxidant effect than both black and green teas. Like green and black tea, oolong tea has been shown to have health benefits, including increased heart health and cognitive function. An additional benefit of oolong tea is its fluoride content, which may help with oral health, and it is also a great source of potassium, magnesium, niacin, and manganese.

Iced tea If you prefer a cold drink, have no fear; the above varieties of teas may all be enjoyed cooled and iced as well. Drinking unsweetened tea is a great way to stay hydrated, and you can always sweeten it (mindfully!) with a sweetener of your choice.

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD, is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Self-Care Enthusiast on a mission to help women reach their ultimate health and wellbeing potential inside and out. She shares credible, clear, and inspiring nutrition information with women via her virtual private practice. To contact Esti with feedback or inquiries regarding her nutritional services, please email her at: esti@estiashernutrition.com or visit estiashernutrition.com.

WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

Mother’s Milk May Benefit Infant’s Microbiome Mother’s milk offers many benefits to her infant. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, nursing can particularly help protect babies against some diseases and illnesses, such as asthma, obesity, type 1 diabetes and sudden infant death syndrome. Additional benefits include decreased likelihood of ear infections and stomach bugs. A recent study published in Frontiers in Microbiology investigated the correlation between mother’s milk and the development of the gut microbiota of infants, which impacts most significant bodily functions. There were 23 mother-infant sets enrolled in the study, with milk samples and infant fecal samples collected. The results suggested that the multiple components of mother’s milk were positively correlated with multiple microbiota within the infant’s microbiome. This study therefore suggests that the proteins found within mother’s milk can positively affect certain gut microbes in infants, and therefore positively influence early immune and metabolic function.

Some Sugars Associated with Higher Risk of Coronary Heart Disease A recent study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition analyzed sugar consumption and its effect on risk for coronary heart disease. According to the National Institutes of Health, coronary heart disease (CHD) is a “type of heart disease where the arteries of the heart cannot deliver enough oxygen-rich blood to the heart.” This common heart condition is often caused by cholesterol plaque deposits in the arteries, in addition to a state of inflammation in the body, often caused by sugar. Since there are different types of sugars, there has been some confusion by the public as to which ones may be harmful for the heart. This study aimed to discover which sugars are specifically associated with a higher risk of coronary heart disease. Researchers analyzed data from 28,878 men enrolled in the Health Professionals Follow-Up Study from 1986–2016, and 76,815 women enrolled in the Nurses’ Health Study from 1980–2020. Over forty years, 9,723 cases of CHD were seen. Diet analysis showed that added sugars and fructose from juice were among the sugars that contributed toward the risk for CHD, while sugar from whole fruits and vegetables did not increase one’s risk for heart disease. It is therefore important to differentiate between added sugars and the natural sugars found in whole fruits and vegetables, and continue to emphasize the importance of consuming fruits and vegetables as a part of a heart-healthy diet.

Roasted Garlic and Butternut Squash Soup BY KOSHER.COM STAFF | YIELDS 6 SERVINGS

This is a delicious soup with incredible flavor from the roasted garlic and sweetness from an unusual source. Serve with Heaven & Earth’s veggie croutons, crunchy bites of healthy, completely plant-based flavor! INGREDIENTS 1

medium butternut squash, peeled, seeded, and cut into chunks 3 tablespoons plus 1–2 teaspoons olive oil, divided 3-4 cups vegetable broth 2-3 tablespoons maple syrup 1 whole head of garlic 1 yellow onion, diced salt and black pepper, to taste Heaven & Earth Veggie croutons DIRECTIONS 1. Preheat oven to 400°F. 2. Peel away most of the loose papery outer layers of the garlic, while still leaving the whole head intact. Trim about a quarter inch off the top of the head of garlic to expose the cloves. Drizzle with 1–2 teaspoons olive oil. Wrap garlic in aluminum foil and bake for 40 minutes. Some heads might need an extra 10 minutes or so, depending on their size. 3. While the garlic is roasting, prepare the soup. Heat remaining olive oil up in a large pot over medium heat. Add diced onion and cook until translucent, about five minutes. Add butternut squash and broth. 4. Bring the soup to a boil, then lower to a simmer. Cover and cook for 35–40 minutes, until the squash is very soft. When the garlic is ready, remove from oven and set aside to cool. When cool enough to handle, squeeze the roasted cloves into the pot. Blend until smooth. 5. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Add maple syrup and enjoy with Heaven & Earth’s veggie croutons!

For more great recipes visit

THIS MONTH

In the pages of Wellspring, we share expert advice from some of the community’s most popular and competent dietitians and nutritionists. In this column, you get to see how they practice what they preach in their own kitchens. Pull up a chair at “My Table” and join the chat.

QUICK, QUICK, WHAT’S THE VEGGIE SIDE? As we head into the winter routine, it’s back to concocting healthy dinners for our families every evening. While proteins and carbs usually get checked off easily, it’s the vegetable part of the meal where we often get stuck, especially if we want the menu to be family-friendly and appealing, with prep that’s not too timeconsuming. While we can always toss together a salad when we’re in a pinch, for most of us, winter dinners call for hot, tasty components. What’s your fastest, easiest cooked-vegetable side dish?

WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

My fastest and easiest vegetable is frozen broccoli. My kids can be walking in the door, and I’ll throw it in a pan on high heat with olive oil, granulated garlic, and salt. It’s done in minutes.

Bina Gottdiener, CN, CHC

Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

Compiled by Shiffy Friedman

The fastest veggie is soup from the freezer! I’ve been loving sliced zucchini in tomato sauce and Italian seasoning, just simmered for a while or in the oven. It’s really warming!

My kids love finger foods. Popping some green beans in the oven and drizzling with olive oil and fresh or powdered garlic is easiest while I prep dinner. I add some hot water to the pan to keep the veggies moist. After 10 minutes on 400°F, it’s ready and delicious. We add slivered almonds for more texture and flavor. Another option while I prep dinner is to microwave the green beans on a plate with two paper towels, completely covering them for 12 minutes. You can also boil green beans in tomato sauce and add some cumin—also for just 12 minutes. Another idea is to combine a can of hearts of palm, diced avocado, and some tomato slices. Add lemon juice, olive oil, and salt. This side dish requires no cooking and is ready in no time.

I simply open a bag of frozen vegetables, stirfry its contents, and I have a tasty veggie side in minutes.

Tanya Rosen, MS, CPT

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

We love to incorporate roasted vegetables into our meals. I aim to have easy “grab and roast” (or grab and eat/sauté/ blend into a soup, etc.) vegetables on hand and then simply drizzle with oil and sprinkle with salt, and occasionally other spices and herbs, such as garlic powder, paprika, chili powder, or dill. Vegetables I like to have on hand that require little to no prep include frozen vegetables (such as green beans or cauliflower) and fresh vegetables (such as baby carrots, if they are available). Speaking of quick meals, I’d like to suggest the idea of roasting canned chickpeas. This is a quick and easy nutritious option that can be classified as both a vegetable and a protein.

Suri Sprei, Health Coach

Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC Dr. Rachael Teichberg

I’m a stickler for routine and so I keep up a rotation system of basic frozen veggies such as broccoli and cauliflower. Additionally, in the wintertime, I use butternut squash often. I find that it’s hearty and filling and a great complex carb. I simply cut the butternut squash into half-inch thick rings, sprinkle with some cinnamon and nutmeg, and bake it for about an hour on 425°F. If I’m in the mood for a sweeter dish, I add a splash of maple syrup to make it more special.

Garlicky String Beans Ingredients:

2 lbs green beans, trimmed 2 Tbsp extra-virgin olive oil 3 Tbsp minced garlic or 3 garlic cubes 3 Tbsp minced fresh parsley 2 dill cubes ½ tsp salt Freshly ground pepper, to taste Directions: Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Place a large bowl of ice water next to the stove. Add half the green beans to the boiling water and cook for about 4 minutes until tender-crisp. Transfer the beans with a slotted spoon to the ice water to cool. Repeat with the remaining beans. Using a slotted spoon, scatter the beans on a clean towel and blot dry. Just before serving, heat oil in a large pot over medium heat. Add garlic and cook, stirring constantly (about 30 seconds). Add the green beans and stir. Add parsley, dill, salt and pepper, and cook. Stir occasionally for 1–3 minutes until heated through. Makes four servings.

WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

Garlic Broccoli 1½ lbs broccoli florets, defrosted 4 crushed garlic cubes Salt and pepper Mix broccoli with defrosted garlic, spread single layer in a pan, spray oil, and sprinkle spices, and bake covered at 425°F for 30 minutes. Roasted Cauliflower 1 lb cauliflower florets, defrosted Salt and pepper Oil spray Place cauliflower in a single layer on a baking sheet. Spray oil and sprinkle spices. Bake uncovered at 400°F for 40 minutes.

WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

Yaffi Lvova, RDN

Oil spray

The absolute fastest and easiest way to get a vegetable on our dinner plate is by using frozen vegetables like broccoli, cauliflower, or string beans. I simply place the vegetables on a baking sheet, spray with oil and salt, and roast. We love it!

When it comes to veggies, don’t be too proud to go frozen. Many people think that frozen veggies are not healthy, but sometimes these options are actually more nutrient-rich than fresh because frozen veggies are picked and packed at the peak of ripeness. Keeping a healthy stash of frozen veggies in your freezer is a great way to add veggies to a dish in no time. For example, you can add frozen broccoli to brown rice, or green beans or squash can go int the oven with some spices for a quick hot side dish.

Garlic roasted broccoli is my go-to dish. 4 cups broccoli florets 1½ Tbsp olive oil 1 Tbs minced garlic ¼ tsp onion powder ¼ tsp kosher salt ¼ tsp black pepper Toss and roast at 425°F for about 15 minutes. Alternatively, fry in an air fryer.

Chaya Tziry Retter, RD

Shani Taub, CDC Leah Wolofsky, RDN, Esq

Sheindy Ungar, CDC

When I made the major lifestyle change of cutting out processed foods, this was the million-dollar question for me. I worked long and hard to find a big variety of tasty vegetables dishes to replace the refined foods I was used to filling up on. I just wished there would be a cookbook I could follow blindly, trusting that all the ingredients are natural and unrefined. When I couldn’t find what I was looking for, I went ahead and created it with siyata diShmaya. Today, my cookbook, Nourished by Nature, is a favorite cooking companion for many. My goal was to make healthy meal prep (with lots of vegetables) doable and delicious. It’s hard to choose just one recipe! Here are two popular options:

I rely on my freezer! I try to always have a hearty vegetable soup in stock. And for side dishes, that’s what frozen veggies are for. Broccoli, cauliflower, and green beans are favorites. If we get bored of those, I’ll splurge on some precut fresh veggies like butternut squash, cubed beets, or my personal favorite, kohlrabi/carrot mix. I prepare all of them the same way—spice them up and drizzle with olive oil, bake until soft with crisp edges.

We’ve got our consensus right here: frozen veggies are the winner! Time to stock that freezer. —Esther

no r f idge needed

Snack It Toss It Top It Enjoy perfectly-shredded, crispy Cheese’A’Lech as a snack, garnish, or to uplevel soups, salads, and pasta. Great source of protein

WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

HOLISTIC

C I T S I L O H

Shaindy Oberlander, INHC

Physical Health

But What about the Mother? It’s no news that mother’s milk is the ideal way to nourish a baby, for however long it’s possible. When the circumstances allow it, nursing is supremely beneficial for both mom and baby. Mother’s milk is a living substance that evolves in sync with the needs of a baby at every feed. It contains vital nutrients, immunity-building cells and stem cells, food for healthy gut bacteria, and many other health factors that cannot be replicated. Mothers living in poverty-stricken conditions, even in times of famine, still produce milk, providing optimal nutrition for their babies. On the baby’s end, the milk is available, but if a nursing mother isn’t consuming enough protein, healthy fats, and the right type of carbohydrates, what will happen to her? The baby will have food, as that is how Hashem created the system, but the mother who’s not taking care of herself will see a difference in her hair and nail quality and in her health. Her energy levels will be low, and she won’t feel her greatest. Eating a variety of nourishing and energy-boosting foods as often as possible can help optimize a mother’s own health and energy reserves. A lactating mother must take care of herself so that she does not feel depleted while her baby is in the nursing stage. Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC, a graduate from Mercy College and IIN, runs her functional medicine– based nutrition practice in Toms River, New Jersey, and virtually. Shaindy has tracks for teens, nursing and pregnant mothers, and women peri/post menopause, and tracks for women suffering from hormonal issues. She can be reached at 347.228.1198 or via her website at www.benefithealthprogram.com.

WELLSPRING / NOVEMBER 2023

Balancing Hormones (Part II)

Tamar Feldman RDN CDCES

Women’s Health

Part I focused on the prevalence and implications of hormonal imbalance, as well as the first intervention to repair the issue—changes in diet. In Part II, I suggest more helpful interventions. 2. Exercise. This factor does not need much elaboration. Suffice it to say that I consider it as vital for normalizing female hormone levels as a proper diet. 3. Reduce stress levels. Stress raises cortisol levels, and long-term chronic stress and high cortisol can wreak havoc on female hormonal balance. Try meditation, yoga, CBT, and more time in nature, and you may find these improve your response to normal life stressors. 4. Sleep well. Insufficient sleep can adversely impact PMS, menopause, and other conditions. Getting seven and a half to eight hours of quality, uninterrupted sleep every night is another vital player in good hormonal balance. 5. Supplement as necessary. Consult a dietitian or functional medicine practitioner for the right supplements that may benefit your particular situation. Particularly effective supplements for hormonal balance include fish oil, evening primrose oil, B vitamins, magnesium, NAC, curcumin, and vitamin D. If you’re living with the effects of hormonal imbalance, start taking the steps to correct the underlying issue at its core by improving your diet and lifestyle so you can achieve long-term great health. Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE, is a dietitian whose mission is to improve lives by empowering individuals to use nutrition to improve their gut health and hormone balance. She is a recognized expert on IBS/SIBO and has developed the Gut Dietitian training protocols on IBS and IBD for Registered Dietitian education. She writes, lectures, and counsels extensively on IBD, IBS, PCOS/fertility, and thyroid health, and is the founder of the gutdietitian.com virtual practice and co-founder of the Belly app.

Your Rod Is My Comfort

As ironic as it seems, it’s especially when we experience upheaval of the level Klal Yisrael endured on Simchas Torah this year that we can say ein od milvado with true sincerity, with hearts that don’t resist this message, with minds that understand it with crystal clarity. How is that? Because the more the circumstances defy logic, the more unfathomable the occurences—that through such primitive means such a large-scale calamity was unleashed, or that mass worldwide demonstrations are taking place, in support of the culpable, ruthless party—the more we are comforted that it can only be Hashem who’s running this show. Shiffy Friedman

Spiritual Health

Rebbe Moshe of Kobrin zt”l would say that the entire avodah of the month of Tishrei is only a preparation that leads up to the point on Simchas Torah when we can say “Atah haraisa lada’as ki Hashem Hu Elokim ein od milvado.”

As Dovid Hamelech expresses in Tehillim, the sefer we’ve been holding onto so tightly at this time, “Even when I walk in the valleys that are shadowed by death, I do not fear evil because You are with me. Your rod and Your staff have consoled me…” Valleys that are shadowed by death…the imagery resonates with the unspeakable tragedies we’ve been hearing about. And the prevailing question is, “I understand how a staff can provide comfort. But how does a rod, which alludes to punishment—to the kind of interaction that feels unpleasant—serve as a comfort for Dovid Hamelech?” The commentators explain that as counterintuitive as it seems, when we realize that “yesh din veyesh Dayan,” that everything in this world operates with exacting perfection, with a clear cheshbon, and that there are no mistakes and no “glitches” in the system, we’re simply enveloped by such tranquility. While a situation can feel excruciatingly painful, we can still be comforted by knowing that this too is for the good. This knowledge in our minds and the feeling in our hearts—I am being taken care of, I am being watched over at every moment? There is no greater comfort than that. In addition to her work as a writer, teacher, and counselor, Mrs. Shiffy Friedman is the founding director of LAHAV, an initiative that spreads awareness about the pathways to connection, contentment, and inner peace through Torah. To receive her free thought-provoking messages on the topic or to learn more about LAHAV, please write to info@ lahavinitiative.org. Shiffy is currently teaching an 8-week series based on Chovos Halevavos, Steps to Serenity, on the Nishmoseinu hotline at 718-759-1111. She is also teaching a 14-part series on Mesillas Yesharim, Journey Inward, on Inspire by Wire at 718-906-6451.

WELLSPRING / CHESHVAN 5784

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