Wellspring Issue #95

CHANUKAH ISSUE DECEMBER 2023 // KISLEV 5784 // ISSUE 95

8 questions for 8 prominent health practitioners Shining a light into the dawn of their transformation—and beyond

DIY Headache Relief

Unprocessed Emotions Don’t Go Away What does it mean to be a strong parent?

Community Any solutions for my daughter’s lazy eye?

Not Just Milk Lactation Consultant Raizy Janklowicz helps post-birth women become mothers

Encore Wholesome falafel is a real thing

To Lock Up the Sweets Drawer or Not? Laura Shammah presents her case

My Table My go-to pancake recipe for Chanukah brunch

Torah Wellspring Why the emphasis on one tiny flask of oil when the miracle was so much more than that?

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COPY & RESEARCH

Editor In Chief Shiffy Friedman Deputy Editor Libby Silberman Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Bashy Halberstam, INHC Shaindy Oberlander, INHC Shira Savit, MA, MHC, CHC Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC

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Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC Esther Fried, PFC Child Development Advisory Board Friedy Singer, OTR/L Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L Coordinating Editor Liba Solomon, CNWC Feature Editors Rochel Gordon • Rikki Samson

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Proofreaders Faige Badian • Meira Lawrence

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The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.

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EDITOR'S NOTE

To Be Warmed by His Light

T

his past week, my husband and I took an overnight trip to the kever of Reb Shayele of Kerestir zt”l. During the three-plus-hour drive to Kerestir from the Budapest airport, I read aloud from the awe-inspiring book, Reb Shayele (Feldheim), masterfully translated by Rabbi Yisroel Besser. (If you plan to visit the kever, don’t do so before reading this sefer!) With our hearts and souls touched by story after moving story, the considerable travel time not only passed by in what felt like an instant, but it also increased our anticipation for arriving at the tzaddik.

Being at the kever having become somewhat acquainted with the great tzaddik whose neshamah hovers there—an oved Hashem whose heart was larger than life—was a surreal experience. It felt like coming home.

To be warmed by the light of a tzaddik’s love is to be warmed by the light of our own neshamah. Essentially, it’s to be warmed by Hakadosh Baruch Hu’s light. The koach of a tzaddik is that he sees the greatness within that is often concealed even from ourselves. In the book, we read of a time when Reb Shayele extended himself to provide food for a Yid who at the time transgressed Shabbos, seemingly obnoxiously. When those around Reb Shayele questioned him about his gesture, he replied, “Is this Yid any less than a bird?” In every Yid, he saw light. In every Yid, he saw a neshamah.

And when we’re in the tzaddik’s presence, a tzaddik who asked that there be a window in his ohel so he could “see” all those who come to him, the overwhelming emotion that overtakes us is this: we get to feel our own value, our own greatness. We connect to the yearning deep within, one that’s often misdirected in myriad channels. We think this deep chasm is because we want more of this or more of that—we must have that job, make that move, buy that house, get that shidduch, find that cure—but in the presence of the tzaddik, everything turns around. We suddenly absorb that all we really want at our core is more connection to Hashem.

And because we get the gift of connecting to Him at a tzaddik’s kever, we leave feeling profoundly satiated.

Like many tzaddikim, Reb Shayele tangibly expressed his love for every Yid through giving—tzedakah (down to his last cent), a good word, and lots of food. In fact, his final request was to summon a woman in the town

who was in need of a yeshuah. When she came to his deathbed, he advised her to cook massive quantities of potatoes for all who would trek to his own levayah so they would be able to appease their hunger before heading back home. In the zechus of this kindness, Reb Shayele promised this woman, she would merit her personal salvation.

F

ood is an incredible channel for kindness. On Chanukah and all year, we’re granted so many opportunities to give through food, to infuse the wholesome meals we serve with love and connection—especially as mothers. In fact, on our way out of the tziyun, one lone tombstone caught my eye. Its simple inscription, “A Yiddishe Mammeh,” speaks volumes. But there are so many other ways to give. We can give to a child simply by looking into their eyes as they speak to us. We can give to a friend by saying a kind word. We can give to our spouse by choosing to see the good in them. We can give to a neighbor by being more forgiving of their mess or noise. When we give to others, we don’t only reinforce for ourselves the light and greatness of our neshamah; we spread the light forward.

Sometimes we wish to give but find that we’re in need of a refill ourselves so we have from where to draw more of the positivity and light. As lactation consultant Raizy Janklowicz points out in this week’s Cup of Tea, with a message echoed by several contributors in our illuminating cover feature, nurturing ourselves is vital to the process of becoming nurturers.

One way to nurture ourselves this Chanukah is to take the time to sit at the menorah, distraction-free, and ponder about Hakadosh Baruch Hu’s love for us, for Klal Yisrael—and Hakadosh Baruch Hu’s love for me.

The menorah’s flames radiate powerful messages, especially messages of chizuk and warmth—which we’re especially desperate for at this time—one of which is magnificently explored in this issue’s expanded Torah Wellspring. If you wish to elevate your Chanukah experience this year, get on that article first.

Wishing you a lichtige Chanukah, a Yom Tov of giving that emanates from feeling the light in your life,

n a m d e i r F y f f i h S

P.S. I will be teaching a special series on TAG’s Hineni hotline with self-awareness insights and chizuk, one short shiur for every night of Chanukah. If you’d like to participate, call Hineni at 302-446-3464.

WELL- PUT “When you become aware, you are beginning the repair.”

Raizy Janklowicz, IBCLC, Cup of Tea WELLSPRING / KISLEV 5784

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CONTENTS

DECEMBER 2023 KISLEV 5784 ISSUE 95 Our next issue will appear on Wednesday, December 27th iy"H.

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WELL INFORMED 12

Springboard

16

Spiritual Eating

18

Torah Wellspring

24

Health Updates

LIVING WELL 30

Fitness

32

Ask the Nutritionist

34

Community

36

Medical Saga

42

Cover Feature

60 Cup of Tea

42 60

68

Serial Diary

70

DIY

WELLBEING 72

Tap In

73

OT@Home

74

Inner Parenting

FAREWELL 98

Holistic

Sample and FYI will return next month iy"H. Wellspring extends our warmest Mazel Tov wishes to

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SEASONED

Shira Savit

upon the birthwill of her son.next month.

Torah Wellspring return Wellspring extends our warmest Mazel Tov wishes to

Roizy Baum

upon the birth of her son.

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SPRINGBOARD

On Crohn’s Disease, Vegetable Prep, Inner Parenting, and More

My Inspiration Issue #94: Under the Surface

I’ve been following the serial diary since its first installment—and for good reason. You see, I too, like Fradel, suffer from a serious case of Crohn’s disease. I find myself nodding along as I read her descriptions of the symptoms and how uncomfortable and painful and socially awkward the situation is on all fronts. I wish I could summon the courage she had to turn to others for support, but I want Fradel to know that with every installment I’m getting more and more warmed up to the idea.

I want to thank Wellspring, Fradel, and C. L. Beer for bringing this 12

WELLSPRING / DECEMBER 2023

important subject into the spotlight.

Tizki l’mitzvos and may you always be the shlichim for bringing chizuk to Klal Yisrael.

favorite side, I was wondering why no one mentioned cooked broccoli or cooked green beans instead of the baked option.

Name Withheld upon Request (until I’m ready to go public!)

I’ve been under the impression that cooking is a healthier food prep method. I would love to hear which is the best option and why.

Thanks so much,

Why Baked over Cooked?

Miriam B.

Issue #94: My Table

I really enjoy Wellspring!

Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC, responds: every

part

of

In the food section where Wellspring contributors noted their

Dear Miriam, As a rule of thumb, the less heat vegetables are exposed to, the more nutrients they will retain. When you

WELLSPRING / KISLEV 5784

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Quick Question

SPRINGBOARD

Question: What exactly is RSV and is there a way to prevent exacerbation of its symptoms? My infant is at a babysitter while I’m at work, which puts him at a greater risk for contracting this contagious ailment. I know of several babies that had to be taken to the hospital for several days because they required oxygen.

Answer: The RSV virus, respiratory syncytial virus, is a contagious virus most often contracted by children under two years of age. However, there are many reported cases of older children and adults with RSV. The virus can survive on hard surfaces such as crib rails and toys for many hours. When a child touches a contaminated surface and then touches their nose, mouth, or eyes the virus can easily enter his system.

Signs of RSV include shallow, rapid breathing, struggling to breathe, coughing, decreased appetite, and fever.

Older children and adults may experience congestion, runny nose, sore throat, sneezing, headache, decreased appetite, and wheezing.

Most of the time, RSV is mild and resolves without treatment. However, infants are among the most vulnerable to severe RSV. In some cases, the virus can lead to serious illness in children under the age of two.

Most vulnerable are infants born prematurely, children with lung or heart disease, and those with a weakened immune system.

In order to best treat the virus to prevent more serious symptoms, as soon as you notice the symptoms, take your child to the pediatrician and follow his protocol.

Some suggestions to speed up the healing process: • Massage your baby’s upper chest and back with essential oils such as eucalyptus, lavender, or oil combinations such as the Cough and Chest cough compress by MR. Make sure to combine the essential oils with a carrier oil like almond oil or olive oil.

• Soak a small cloth with essential oils and place on the chest and upper back.

• Put the child to sleep in an upright position.

• If you’re nursing, eliminate dairy from your diet and do not feed the child dairy products.

• During the winter months, it’s a good idea to give young children a vitamin D supplement, which has shown to help control infections and reduce inflammation.

Take care, Miriam Schweid, Kinesiologist and Health Consultant

cook vegetables in water, nutrients are actually released into the water.

The best way to cook vegetables is to steam them over a pot of hot water so the nutrients don’t get released into the water. At the end of the day, having veggies in any shape, size, or form can only do you well, so ultimately, enjoy your vegetables however you please. If you are on a weight loss journey and you are watching your fat intake, roasting your veggies with some olive oil spray 14

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may be better for you as opposed to sautéing the veggies in oil. I hope this clarifies some things for you!

One Complaint Issue #94: Inner Parenting

I originally started buying Wellspring when we had a little health scare with one of our kids and

I realized I didn’t know enough to run a healthier household. However, I’ve not only gained such important insights regarding physical health; this magazine has become my go-to for my monthly boost of inspiration (make that daily because I keep referring back to powerful pieces and implementing and applying the wealth of wisdom I’ve been acquiring to so many areas of my life!).

Having gained an appreciation for the level of purity and censorship

of your publication, I’m finding it to be the only one that really gives me what I’m looking for these days.

I love that it’s free of news or other stressful content, and leaves me feeling so invigorated and hopeful, so encouraged and positive. You’re doing an unbelievable job!

I was very excited to see the new parenting column in last month’s issue with the powerful title of “Unprocessed Emotions Don’t Go Away.” I’m so looking forward to learning how to help my children process their emotions (something I don’t know enough about but certainly see the need for), especially from the purest, most helpful source that is Torah. My one complaint is that the column is way too short!

Looking forward, P. F. Howell, New Jersey

Didn’t Get to the Meat Issue #94: Inner Parenting

I read the first article in the parenting series and just looking at the title got me really excited about it. But I felt you didn’t get to the meat of it. You barely grazed the

topic. I wish you would’ve given at least two more pages for this article.

I understand that this is a series, but since this is not a weekly magazine, it takes too long to wait until the next installment.

Please consider this when writing part two in the series.

that the concepts will be presented in the way that makes them most absorbable: a gradual, progressive build-up, not a concise list of do’s and don’ts.

May you merit an abundance of clarity in raising your children and may your efforts reap untold rewards.

M. B. Shiffy Friedman responds: Dear Readers, Thanks for your positive feedback.

We’ve received several more letters that communicated a similar sentiment, suggesting that the new parenting series should feature longer installments. Honestly, the reason I kept the first installment short is the same reason why I step off my elliptical every morning at the 20-minute mark, not a second longer.

Knowing my workload, schedule, and priorities, I did it because I want this to be a sustainable project.

However, having taken the feedback into account and wanting to give our readers our very best, the column will be slightly longer starting from this issue.

PSA

All-Natural Wart Removal A number of years ago, I had about 20 warts all over my hands and wrist. I underwent the painful icing procedure but even that didn’t help. Then, I read a suggestion to apply tea tree oil to warts.

I dabbed the oil on with cotton wool every day for about three weeks, and the whole lot disappeared without a trace. I haven’t had any warts since, baruch Hashem.

Also, since we will be delving into parenting from an inside-out approach in this series, be aware

M. L.

Get in touch!

Wellspring invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@wellspringmagazine.com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.

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SPIRITUAL EATING

By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

A Little Oil Goes a Long Way The lights of Chanukah remind us once again of the miracle Hashem made in the Beis Hamikdash by allowing the flames of the Menorah to burn for eight days from only one flask of oil.

One of the many lessons we can learn from the Menorah is that all the knowledge Hashem put into creation is solely for the sake of bettering ourselves and our avodas Hashem. The six outer flames represented the different disciplines of worldly wisdom, but they all pointed toward the center branch to show that the function of these disciplines needs to be directed by Torah and for the ultimate purpose of kedushah.

In addition, the Menorah itself was fashioned from a single chunk of solid gold, teaching that all forms of knowledge stem from the same source—nothing is outside and independent of the Almighty and His Torah.

This lesson is very relevant for today’s society and the issues facing our community. We study the details of this world to understand how to best utilize the laws of nature for our benefit. Even though we were miraculously saved during the time of Chanukah, Jewish law clearly prohibits us from relying on miracles.

If something is known to be harmful— such as smoking, or eating unhealthy or excessive quantities of food—the Torah commands us to abstain from that substance or behavior. Most would agree that an overload of deep-fried latkes or jelly

donuts falls into this category.

Using oil in our food to remember the miracle of the Menorah is certainly an important custom. But in order to pay tribute to the events that actually transpired, we need to understand exactly what kind of oil we want to emulate.

The fuel for the Menorah was “shemen zayis zach kasis,” pure, pressed olive oil.

Rashi tells us that the olives were gently squeezed to expose only the first, pure drop of oil. The rest of the olive was then sent away to be crushed in the traditional manner to release the remainder of the oil for meal offerings.

Therefore, in order to best replicate the oil from the Menorah, shouldn’t we specifically not use an abundance of oil to deepfry and saturate our foods—but rather add a single drop of pure extra virgin oil to a delicious dish or salad exclusively for the sake of the miracle? Enjoying the olive oil—and all foods—in the right quantities incorporates the larger lesson of the Menorah, which is to learn from the wisdom of nature that Hashem instilled in Creation and not to indulge in behaviors that clearly cause us harm.

Something to think about as we try to usher the light of Chanukah inside ourselves, even after the last candle flickers out.

Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS, is the founder and director of Soveya and the author of the best-selling book Enough Is Enough—How the Soveya Solution Is Revolutionizing the Diet and Weight-Loss World, available on Amazon and at Barnes & Nobles and Judaica Plaza in Lakewood. He has worked with thousands of clients around the world and has maintained a 130-pound weight loss for the last 19 years. For more information about Soveya’s programs call 732-578-8800, email info@soveya.com, or visit www. soveya.com.

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TORAH WELLSPRING

By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

The Profound Significance of That Tiny Flask of Oil Chanukah’s message is as relevant to us as it was for the Chashmonaim

Al hanissim ve’al hapurkan ve’al hagevuros…[We thank You] for the miracles, for the redemption, for the mighty deeds, for the rescuing acts, and for the wonders which You have wrought for our ancestors in those days, at this time…

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The tefillah of Al Hanissim, which we recite through the celebratory days of Chanukah, is centered around the mammoth miracles that Hakadosh Baruch Hu performed on behalf of Klal Yisrael during the days of Matisyahu. In this tefillah, we list wonders that revealed Hashem’s Almighty hand, wonders that astonished the world as they

observed a superpower’s stunning downfall at the hands of a minuscule group of vulnerable men.

To illustrate and put into context the extent of the miracle, imagine a powerful country like the U.S.— freighted with tanks and missiles and sophisticated intelligence—engaged in battle with a tiny group of scarcely armed men from a third-world region. Regardless of how tenacious these men would be, would we even give them a 1 percent chance of emerging victorious at the hands of such a giant superpower?

During the days of Matisyahu, Yavan was the undisputed superpower.

They ranked not only the highest in their achievements in Hellenistic “wisdom,” including the arts, sports, and gymnastics, but most notable was their advanced military. This was the civilization that came to wage war against not only a tiny nation, but a minute faction within that nation. What a breathtaking miracle Klal Yisrael experienced!

for eight days? It was that the Yidden found that one tiny flask of oil amidst the ruins—and that it lasted for eight days. The entire commemoration of this unimaginable miracle is centered around the Menorah, the oil.

How can we understand what seems from the outset to be a misplaced focus? Shouldn’t we be centering our celebration around the victory Klal Yisrael experienced in the decidedly unequal battle? Why does the magnitude of that occurrence pale in comparison to the miracle of the flask of oil?

Among the various commentaries that offer insightful responses to this question, Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l provides an answer that sheds light into the deeper message of the neis Chanukah, one that fills the heart with so much chizuk.

Why the Focus on the Tiny Flask?

As an introduction to his illuminating response, Rav Chaim draws reference to a similar kind of battle that took place in our volatile history: when the giant Golias approached Dovid Hamelech with the intent of killing him. Again, to put this inconceivable incident into context, let’s understand who was in arms against whom here. In Shmuel Alef (17:4) we learn that Golias, whose voice roared like thunder, was about 12 feet tall!

Picture this mountainous figure, clad in armor and iron and brass from head to foot, towering over Dovid, a young shepherd boy in the range of 13 to 15 years old, who was shorter and slighter than all of his seven brothers (and refused to wear protective gear). Still, in one stunning move, the inexperienced Dovid let a stone fly from his sling—one smooth, tiny pebble—and with that, the giant fell on his face to the ground, his forehead crushed.

What was the most highlighted miracle of all, the reason we celebrate

One would think that this incident itself qualifies as a magnificent mir-

But what’s the most celebrated aspect of the collective miracle, with which Al Hanissim concludes? After Hakadosh Baruch Hu “delivered the mighty into the hands of the weak, the many into the hands of the few, the impure into the hands of the pure, the wicked into the hands of the righteous…,” the culmination of these breathtaking, mammoth miracles was this: “Then Your children entered [the Beis Hamikdash], cleansed the Mikdash, purified Your Sanctuary, lit candles in Your holy courtyards, and instituted these eight days of Chanukah to give thanks and praise to Your great name.”

acle, highlighting Hashem’s untold love for Dovid Hamelech and Klal Yisrael. But it’s not on the pesukim leading up to this point that Rashi notes Hashem’s love for Dovid, but rather on a seemingly extraneous part of the plot. Commenting on this episode in Shmuel Alef (17:49), Rashi comments that Golias “should have fallen backward since he had been struck in the forehead. But he fell forward in order that Dovid should not be troubled to walk and sever his head, for Dovid saved six amos and two spans [of walking]. Since Golias’s height was six amos and a zeres (span), Dovid saved a walk of his entire height back and his entire height forth.”

It’s from this seemingly minor detail of the incident that commentaries point out the extent of Hashem’s great love for Dovid Hamelech.

We are left to wonder, what’s the significance of this miracle in comparison to the greater, more mind-boggling story? The young, inexperienced shepherd boy managed to kill a most terrifying, gigantic being. So what would have happened had he needed to walk another few feet? Isn’t that a fantastically minor detail in the big picture? And just like the question regarding our focus on the flask of oil in the face of apparently greater miracles, the answer is one and the same. It’s an answer that can be easily understood through an analogy relayed in the sefarim.

More Than the Joy of Finding the Heirloom A prominent family inherited a precious heirloom that had belonged to their matriarch generations before. This pendant was the pride and joy of the family.

Only on Shabbos and Yom

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TORAH WELLSPRING

Shouldn’t we be centering Tov would its members remove it from its special, concealed case to marvel at its value and brilliance.

One Shabbos, when the head of the family opened the safe to retrieve the prized heirloom, he found, to his dismay, that the pendant was gone. Of course, a massive search operation ensued. Every member of the family was dispatched for this critical operation and no corner of the house was left unexplored in their effort to recover what they held so dear.

After hours of searching, one young son chanced upon the sparkling object. It was the pendant! Overjoyed by his discovery, he immediately ran to show his father, who embraced him tightly and planted a kiss on his forehead.

our celebration around the victory Klal Yisrael experienced in the decidedly unequal battle? Why does the magnitude of that occurrence pale in comparison to the miracle of the flask of oil?

Later, when the child would recall this incident, he would note that more than the joy he felt at finding the heirloom was the joy he derived from the hug and kiss from his father.

Hashem performs many miracles for His beloved nation, explains Rav Chaim in his response to the question we expanded upon. The majority of these breathtaking miracles have one purpose: to facilitate the continuity of Klal Yisrael. They’re a fulfillment of Hashem’s promise to Avraham Avinu at the Bris Bein Habesarim— that his generations would prevail, and a fulfillment of the promise “Ki lo sichakach mipi zaro,” that Torah wouldn’t be forgotten by Klal Yisrael.

That Hashem performs miracles in order to maintain our continuity is incredible indeed, but, as Rav Chaim points out, one could argue that they are merely Hashem’s fulfillment of His oath, and for the continuity of His nation.

But then there’s that “minor” added miracle, and it’s this small detail that changes everything around.

This seemingly inconsequential part of the story conveys one singular message: it’s Hakadosh Baruch Hu’s 20

WELLSPRING / DECEMBER 2023

neshikah to us. Like the child who rejoiced most at his father’s show of love upon revealing his discovery, we Yidden rejoice most when we note the “trivial” detail in the story that shows that all of this is being orchestrated by our Father who loves us.

And it is this that gives us the most chiyus.

In the case of Dovid and Golias, a defeat on our side would have signaled the end of our nation, so Hashem certainly arranged that Dovid should emerge victorious. But His toppling Golias forward was the hug and kiss from the loving father. It’s this seemingly minor detail that infuses the entire episode with the recognition that “He’s not doing it because He must, but because He wants.”

The same is true for the miracle we celebrate at this time of year, the Chanukah story. Of course Hashem would save His nation, the sefarim explain, both because He promised to do so and also because He wants to have a nation. After all, “Ein melech belo am.” But why the need for the discovery of the flask of oil? That’s our personal message from Him, our neshikah.

It’s the same message that Rashi points out regarding the time of year in which Hashem chose to liberate us from Mitzrayim—the spring—because he wanted the Exodus to take place in the most ideal weather for travel, “neither heat nor cold nor rain” (Rashi, Shemos 13:4). Doesn’t this detail sound irrelevant in the big picture? But we now understand

that it’s not so. Yes, He led us into galus because that was part of the “deal,” but once our time had come to be freed, Moshe said to Klal Yisrael, “See the loving-kindness that He bestowed upon you!” Through this ostensibly irrelevant detail, Klal Yisrael internalized Hashem’s great love for them. Yes, He performed what He had promised, but He chose to swathe it in the most pleasant wrapping.

The Pleasant Wrapping, Always Hakadosh Baruch Hu sends this loving “note” our way not only when He performs open kindnesses. Also, and perhaps even more importantly, He lines even the “clouds” in our life with a silver lining. Both when

Hashem performs miracles on our behalf and when we’re dealt a challenge, if we look out for that neshikah from Him, we will find it.

As we highlighted last month, the “batzar hirchavta li” mindset is critical in this olam hanistar, as Dovid Hamelech expresses so powerfully in Tehillim (4:2): “In my distress you have relieved me.” How does Hashem relieve a Yid from His pain? In every tzarah he’s destined to endure, Hashem will send Him just what he needs to get through it. Even in the greatest calamity there is so much light.

The sefarim explain that when Hashem sends yissurim to a Yid, it’s very different from when a dictator inflicts punishment. While the lat-

ter is driven by anger, revenge, or a need for control, a challenge from Hashem is just the opposite; it bothers Him that a Yid distanced himself, and through yissurim He hopes to bring his neshamah closer again.

In order to fathom that He’s doing so from His love for us, in every painful situation, we can take note of how Hashem reveals Himself to us. If we look out for it, the sefarim assert, we will certainly notice this reality. Whether we’ll marvel at how that one person helped us so selflessly along the way, or at a “by the by” incident that brought new hope into the picture, we’ll realize that just as when Hashem performs a miracle, He adds in a neshikah to convey His love for us, the same is true in any situation

WELLSPRING / KISLEV 5784

21

TORAH WELLSPRING

On the operating table, while of pain: Hashem will always ensure that we realize that it’s coming from His love and concern for us.

This yesod is an incredible source of chizuk because the reason most yissurim are so painful is because we haven’t paid attention to this. When an individual walks on the street and someone steps on their toe, they might feel indescribable pain. But this same person could find himself on the dentist’s chair a few minutes later, his tooth being drilled until the root—and yet, the experience is not a fraction as painful. How can that be?

In the first scenario, he felt slighted; in the second, he understood that the dentist wants his good.

When we internalize that Hakadosh Baruch Hu sincerely wants our good—and nothing but our good—it’s simply not the same challenge anymore. We look at it with new eyes, we feel it with a new heart. Our avodah is to realize this and to consistently exercise our bechirah to choose to see the good.

The sefarim explain this concept in relation to the saga of Yosef Hatzaddik. Here we have a young man who was captured from his doting father’s lap. To put this incident into context once again, imagine we heard that in one of the golf carts that carried the hostages away to Gaza, there hung a very pleasant-smelling diffuser. Would we see that as a help for the hostage in any way, or would we think to ourselves, “Please, this is so irrelevant here”?

But, in the Torah we find otherwise. When Yosef was hauled away, the Torah does take the trouble to point out the kindness that he was bought off by Midyanim, transporters of perfumes, as opposed to Yishmaelim, who transported foul-smelling kerosene. In other words, the Torah chose to point out that there was some comfort Yosef Hatzaddik experienced, even in his rejected, abandoned state. What was it?

the anesthesia was setting in, the intensity of the child’s aloneness gave him no rest.

Through the Window Rav Mordechai Pogramansky zt”l answered this question with a mashal of a young child who was diagnosed with a serious illness, one for which only an intensive procedure could bring about healing. On the morning of the scheduled surgery, his entire extended family set out to accompany him on his way to the hospital. Once the entourage reached the hospital, only the child’s immediate family stayed at his side. While his siblings waited anxiously in the waiting room, only his parents were permitted to accompany him further to the pre-op unit. And then, when the child was transferred into the operating room, he was all alone. From all those who had come out to support him, he found himself frightened and alone among a team of surgeons and nurses.

On the operating table, while the anesthesia was setting in, the intensity of the child’s aloneness gave him no rest. But suddenly, he took one look upward and everything changed for him. His emotional state took an immediate turn for the better. What just happened? Did the child hear that his surgery had been canceled?

No, the external circumstances remained just the same. The surgeons were still there, scalpels in hand. But from the small window on the door, the child noticed something: his father’s face peering into the room.

And a surgery during which his father would be peeking in through the window was a whole different surgery.

Says Rav Pogramansky, true, noth-

22

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ing changed in Yosef’s reality. He was still being held captive, still being sold as a slave. But through the choice of his transporters’ merchandise he absorbed a powerful message, and that made all the difference to his journey. Externally, nothing changed, but emotionally, it was a whole new story—because he noticed his Father peeking in through the windows.

If we look at the good-smelling substances as a technical detail, then the difference between their presence or absence is either pain with a pleasant scent or pain without a pleasant scent. But if we internalize through these perfumes that this pain is coming from a loving Father who wants what’s best for us, the entire situation turns around. We can start to see it as a hug from Hakadosh Baruch Hu, His pat on the back to us.

It was this sentiment that the Divrei Chaim explained to his chassidim when they wondered about his tranquil emotional state after the passing of his child. If what may initially feel like a slap turns out to be a pat on the back from a good friend, the entire experience turns around. We’re still physically feeling the same blow, but it simply doesn’t hurt the same way.

The sefarim explain that neis Chanukah was the final miracle before the Yidden entered the last galus, Edom, which is the longest in our volatile history. There’s a reason for that: From this miracle we’re given direction—a preview—of how to deal with this galus. When the Chashmonaim entered the Beis Hamikdash after the Greeks’ defeat,

they found their beloved sanctuary in shambles.

Shattered keilim were everywhere, the place in complete havoc. You’re entering a long and bitter galus, was Hashem’s message. I want to show you how it’ll look—but also to convey the secret to your resilience and continuity.

True, in many ways, your life will appear to be in shambles. But here’s what you also can’t forget—I’ll be right with you there! I’ll be at the window. You’ll find Me in that tiny flask of oil. As you’ll face pogroms, inquisitions, a Holocaust, endless persecution and defamation, take along with you the koach of Chanukah, the awareness that I’m right there with you. Just remember this flask of oil, remember how I expressed My love to you by doing that “little extra,” that seemingly extraneous detail that spoke volumes. It was Hashem’s plan that this neis would infuse us with koach to last us like that flask of oil—for many thousands of years.

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True to His word and as the consummate Being of kindness, Hakadosh Baruch Hu keeps sending such messages. As human beings in this world of hester, we just have to choose to see them.

Chanukah symbolizes the concept of the neshikah within the yissurim, of finding the Ribbono shel Olam’s love in the dark. Yes, following the Chashmonaim’s victory, the edifice was in ruins, but one thing gave them comfort: the Menorah stood there, aglow in all its glory, reminding them, “I am here, I am here with you.” In our current galus, we aren’t privy to the caliber of miracles that the Yidden in previous generations observed, whether in Mitzrayim, or the times of the previous Batei Mikdash. We haven’t experienced anything close to what our ancestors did, but neis Chanukah is our reminder. Hashem is telling us, I’m performing a procedure, and it’s from My love. The world around you may appear so dark, but there’s the light of the Menorah in the choshech—and that’s the part of the miracle we most commemorate.

True, there is so much darkness in our galus today, but if we choose to live with a “batzar hirchavta li” mindset, when we live with this perspective, the pain isn’t as intense. May Hashem help that we should not need these yissurim anymore, and that we should finally be zocheh to the ultimate miracle of our geulah sheleimah, bayamim haheim bizman hazeh.

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23

UPDATES

By Bayla Brooks

Fortified Formula?

The contents of your toddler’s bottle may not be as nutrient-dense as you’d like to believe According to the American Academy of Pediatrics Committee on Nutrition, toddler “formulas” for older babies and preschoolers are not necessarily the healthy drinks marketers claim they are. The clinical report, presented at the 2023 AAP Conference & Exhibition in Washington, D.C., states that toddler formulas are unnecessary and potentially lacking in certain vital nutrients such as calcium, phosphorus, magnesium, and vitamin D. These drinks—often marketed as “follow-up formulas,” “weaning formulas,” or “toddler milks”—give parents the misleading impression that they are a necessary part of a child’s healthy diet or that they are nutritionally equivalent to infant formula.

Additionally, they may be placed in the same store aisle where infant formulas are found, suggesting that they are the recommended next step after weaning. Dr. Steven A. Abrams, a co-author of the report, says it is “understandable” that families and caregivers of toddlers might be confused by the claims surrounding toddler formulas.

However, there are no federal regulations governing what goes into these drinks, the AAP report explains, which is why they are not recommended by pediatricians in most instances. This means manufacturers often make health-related claims on their packaging even though they may not have undergone a scientific review process by the FDA. The AAP report further details suggestions for how the issue should be dealt with, for example, babies under 12 months should be provided mother’s milk or infant formula; toddlers 12 months and older should eat a varied diet with fortified foods in order to provide them with optimal nu24

WELLSPRING / DECEMBER 2023

trition; when it comes to marketing, there should be clear distinctions made between toddler formulas and standard infant formulas; and pediatricians should review children’s nutrition and help caregivers adjust the child’s intake of solid foods or vitamin supplements as necessary.

One of the problems with toddler formulas is that they contain excessive amounts of sugar to make them more palatable. Take a look at the product labels and you’ll find that one of the first ingredients is some form of sugar, sometimes even two or three types. These include cane juice, corn syrup, and maltodextrin.

Added sugar promotes tooth decay, which is a significant concern for toddlers as they should have all their primary teeth by age two. Additional dietary sugar fosters a preference for sweet tastes and can contribute to picky eating behaviors. Toddler formulas do have added vitamins.

However, the excess sugar outweighs any benefits derived from them. Many parents tend to rely on these drinks to augment the nutrition of picky eaters because they assume they will provide what their child is missing. Unfortunately, some children will then limit the variety of foods in their diet even further, knowing they will be given their “sweet milk,” as some call it.

Beyond all this, toddler formulas are expensive. So, try to stick with the basic toddler diet containing fruits, vegetables, healthy fats, protein, and whole grains. Bear in mind that a typical toddler may eat an entire plateful one night and hardly touch their food the second night. This is all considered typical and normal. Skip the ready-made formulas and stick to providing a well-rounded menu of healthful foods instead.

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Stressed By the News?

Evidence-based research indicates what we already know Stress is not a new or uncommon phenomenon, but it can be particularly heightened by alarming news stories.

While we know this to be true from our own anecdotal observations, here’s some evidence-based research on the topic. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, checking the news may feel comforting at the moment, but the effect is short-lived, and doing so often brings on more stress.

“It is crucially important to engage in self-awareness and check in with yourself regarding how much news you are currently consuming, how repetitive it is versus presenting new information, and the impact it is having on your mental health,” says Dr. Amanda Spray, clinical associate professor in the Department of Psychiatry at NYU Lan26

WELLSPRING / DECEMBER 2023

gone Health.

Ask yourself how your mood is at various points during the day and see if you’re still doing the things that bring you joy. “A helpful strategy to improve feelings of hopelessness is to allow yourself to experience these feelings, connect these feelings to your values, and move toward valued-aligned action,” Spray said.

As Yidden, we’re privileged to know exactly what that action is. Emulating Dovid Hamelech by turning to Hashem with all our stresses and worries enables us to channel every emotional experience into an opportunity for growth and connection. By fortifying our emunah and recognizing our powerlessness, we set ourselves up for stress-busting success.

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Part

12 in a series

Demystified

Myth: Cracking Knuckles Causes Arthritis Fact: To be sure, cracking your fingers is no way to make friends in a quiet library. The habit may aggravate people around you, but it won’t give you arthritis, at least not according to clinical studies—including one way back in 1990 and one more recently in 2011—specifically focused on addressing this myth.

Arthritis develops when the cartilage within the joint breaks down and allows the bones to rub together (read more on the topic in this issue’s FYI). Your joints are surrounded by a synovial membrane, which contains synovial fluid that lubricates them and prevents them from grinding together. When you crack your knuckles, you’re pulling those joints apart.

This stretch causes an air bubble to form in the fluid, which eventually pops, creating that familiar sound.

That being said, cracking your knuckles isn’t necessarily good for you. While there’s no proven relationship between the habit and arthritis, persistent cracking can wear down the synovial membrane and make it easier for your joints to crack. It can also lead to hand swelling and weaken your grip. So, no worries here about arthritis, but this is definitely a habit that is worthwhile to crack.

28

WELLSPRING / DECEMBER 2023

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29

FITNESS

SORE POINT UNDERSTANDING MUSCLE SORENESS AND HOW TO COMBAT THIS COMMON FITNESS AILMENT

By Chaya Tziry Retter, RDN, BS, CPT Chaya Tziry Retter is a Monsey-based Registered Dietitian, ACE-Certified Personal Trainer, and group fitness instructor. She is passionate about helping others lead healthier lives in a way that suits their needs. She can be reached at 845-540-4487.

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WELLSPRING / DECEMBER 2023

Muscle soreness: been there, done that, right? Most of us have experienced this annoying—and often painful—side effect of new or intense exercise.

bigger and stronger. “It’s not so much that we don’t want inflammation to occur, but we want to get it under control as soon as possible,” Arent says.

Sore muscles are one of the less pleasant realities of exercise. Depending on the type and intensity of the workout, muscle soreness after a workout can range from barely noticeable to extremely painful.

And you also want the soreness to go away so you can get back to moving and functioning painlessly!

Why Do Our Muscles Get Sore in the First Place?

Muscle soreness after exercise (also referred to as delayed-onset muscle soreness, or DOMS) signals that damage was caused to muscle tissue, according to the American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM). “When this damage, or micro-tearing, happens, the body initiates the repair process by triggering inflammation at the injured site,” explains Shawn Arent, PhD, CSCS, a professor and the chair in the Department of Exercise Science at the University of South Carolina in Columbia and the director of its sports science lab.

Fluid accumulates in the muscles, putting extra pressure on the damaged areas and leading to that familiar sensation of tightness and pain that typically begins to develop 12–24 hours after your workout, Dr. Arent says.

While you cause a little bit of damage every time you exercise, certain types of workouts are notorious for higher levels of damage and, by extension, soreness. In particular, any workout that’s new to you, very intense, or involves a lot of unusual movements will likely cause more damage and muscle soreness than other types of workouts.

It’s the contractions of the “eccentric,” or lengthening, muscle that cause the soreness, says Jan Schroeder, PhD, the chair and a professor in the Department of Kinesiology at California State University in Long Beach.

Think about it: Movements such as walking or jogging down a hill, or the lowering motion during a biceps curl or chest press, typically cause the muscles to sustain greater damage than during concentric exercises, such as curling a weight or pressing weight overhead. In concentric exercises, the muscle is working while it is shortening.

Muscles face a lot of stress during both types of movement, but fewer muscle fibers get recruited to carry out eccentric contractions than concentric ones.

Torn, inflamed muscles sound painful, and we certainly want to minimize inflammation in our normal daily lives because research has shown that chronic inflammation contributes to many chronic diseases. However, according to Arent, some degree of inflammation can be an important signal for muscle growth and repair. If you help your muscles recover from the damage, they’ll likely grow back

Keep in mind that you don’t have to be sore after a workout for it to be effective. Soreness means damage, and damage is fine in small doses, but you don’t have to create soreness-inducing damage every time you work out. “That shouldn’t be your goal,” Dr. Schroeder says. “You don’t have to be sore to know you had a good workout.”

You may have heard that stretching can help prevent injury and soreness. But a 2021 review found that post-exercise stretching had no significant positive or negative effect on recovery compared to passive recovery (i.e., rest).

Some evidence suggests that a full-body warmup at the start of a workout could reduce muscle soreness up to two days later, but the reduction in soreness seen in research has been very small.

Here are two simple tips to reduce muscle soreness post-workout:

1. HYDRATE DURING AND AFTER YOUR WORKOUT This may sound obvious, but staying hydrated is an important aspect of muscle recovery. Water keeps the fluids moving through the system, and this eases inflammation, flushes out waste products, and delivers nutrients to the muscles.

According to one review, you should drink about 13–20 ounces (oz) of water about two hours before starting exercise. To maintain hydration, the researchers recommend drinking about 5–10 oz every 15–20 minutes of exercise.

For over 90-minute workouts, they recommend drinking some type of electrolyte beverage.

2. EAT WITHIN HALF AN HOUR AFTER AN INTENSE WORKOUT By feeding your muscles the nutrients they need to repair and grow back stronger, you may be able to speed up the recovery process.

Protein is important for the amino acids needed to rebuild your muscles, while carbohydrates play an important role in replenishing the fuel stores your muscles used up during your workout.

Make sure to take the necessary steps to reduce soreness and give yourself a break until your next workout.

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31

ASK THE NUTRITIONIST

By Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

Lock Up the Sweets Drawer or Not?

Q 32

WELLSPRING / DECEMBER 2023

My eight-year-old daughter craves sugar. In a conversation I had with my friend on the topic, she asserted that the only reason a child wants candy so desperately is because it’s not available to her. Her claim is that if I’d just give this child free access to the nosh cabinet, she’d adapt to the sugar being more available to her and eat less of it. The way I see it, because children tend to make impulse-based decisions, that won’t happen. What is your take on this?

I very much appreciate this question.

There are so many interactions between the parent and child that revolve around food, just like the one you describe in your question. It’s important to review some pointers on this topic so we can be aware of the messages we are giving over to our children in regard to food.

Children innately know when they are hungry and when they are not.

And we want it that way; we want them to be in touch with their internal signals, food-related and otherwise. Kids are in tune with their hunger cues, and that’s a very good thing. What might get in the way of this natural system? Problems arise when a child feels that certain foods are being taken away from them. This worries a child. The child thinks, What will I do if I’m hungry for that food and I can’t have it? Restricting foods gets in the way of allowing the child to feel his true hunger needs.

Therefore, I suggest that children have access to all foods in the house. This way, we won’t interfere with their ability to tap into their feelings of hunger and satiety. By not restricting foods, we are opening the door for the child to truly hear their hunger and sense the satisfied feeling of fullness. Now, before you throw out the key to your sweets cabinet, here are a few pointers.

I recommend teaching kids about food moderation, to educate them on what foods their bodies need in order to grow, and to explain that candy is bad for their teeth and does not contain any nutrients. It’s our job to impart these concepts to our children. Surprisingly enough, children are usually quite receptive to hearing about their health.

As long as the information is presented in a calm and loving manner, they’ll usually take to it. A parent should definitely talk about health topics with her kids and reinforce these whenever she can. It should be done in order to empower the child to make good choices, not to force those choices onto them.

Of course, we know that kids love sweets. Even if we do limit the treats, how can we provide the sugar for them while still maintaining a proper balance? Firstly, plan structured meals and snacks at the table. Some kids sneak food because they feel they aren’t getting what they want.

So, plan ahead with your child and discuss the times he will receive his goodies. This way, he knows what to expect and feels safe that he will get what he wants. Another idea is to offer a serving of dessert after dinner. Be sure to include your child’s favorite treat in the dessert. The candy is then expected at the end of each supper meal, and the child feels relaxed with that knowledge.

Parents’ food preferences and eating behaviors provide an opportunity to model good eating habits. There is evidence of a strong genetic influence on appetite traits in children. Be careful not to label foods as good or bad.

There should be no moral compass attached to food. By writing off a certain food, it draws the child to want to try it out. If the child does choose that “bad” food, we don’t

want them to feel bad about themselves. As the parent, model the concept that all foods are available and okay to you, yet you consciously choose to make healthful choices.

A fascinating study shows that parental restriction with food is linked to higher weights and poor eating habits in children. In one study tracking eating in girls aged 5 to 9, high levels of restriction at age 5 predicted what researchers call “eating in the absence of hunger” from ages 7 to 9.

Additionally, the girls who experienced the highest level of restriction at age 5 were the heaviest at 9.

The study states that parents use a variety of strategies to influence children’s eating habits, some of which are counterproductive. Overcontrol, restriction, pressure to eat, and a promise of rewards have negative effects on children’s food acceptance.

Yes, limiting junk food in the here and now will accomplish a short-term goal. It will force the child into compliance for the time being. However, we want more for our children. We want to teach our children to own their food choices, and to be able to make those choices on their own, without our supervision.

Parents need to know how to use feeding practices that not only promote fruit and vegetable intake, but also food regulation. Forced compliance does not work in the long haul. Instead, parents should find opportunities to introduce self-regulation in their children, especially for the foods they crave, which is candy in most cases. Self-regulation is the real goal here.

All that being said, a positive approach to food includes structure, routine, timing, and limit setting. Children learn to expect this system, and in return, they feel more relaxed. A relaxed setting is the safest environment for a child to be able to practice self-regulation. This way, we are building the child from within. We’re preserving their natural ability to feed themselves as needed and to trust their own instincts. The emotional gains will surely outdo any possible physiological damage from the candy.

Laura Shammah MS, RDN, has been operating a private practice in New York and New Jersey for over 20 years. Her clientele runs the gamut from people with eating disorders to those dealing with hypertension, high cholesterol, diabetes and cancer. She also helps clients who run in marathons or are looking to lose or gain weight in a healthy way. Her nutritional guidance is published in MaryAnne Cohen’s book Lasagna for Lunch: Declaring Peace With Emotional Eating. Laura can be reached at 718-376-0062 or Laurashammah@aol.com.

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33

WELLSPRING COMMUNITY

Lazy Eye

In this space, we feature a health-related question or predicament submitted by a Wellspring reader. Fellow readers are invited to participate in the conversation by sharing their tried-and-true advice and suggestions. Join the community!

My child’s left eye is a lazy eye. Since I would prefer not to have her undergo surgery, the doctors have told me that patching the good eye can help as an attempt to avoid surgery down the line.

I’d love to hear of any other methods I can try in order to help my child, or ways to make patching more doable. Any ideas?

While I understand you for being reluctant to go the surgery route, I have found that in many cases, surgery is not avoidable. The weaker eye’s muscle is so weak that even significant patching won’t do the trick.

- Hudis W., Flatbush 34

WELLSPRING / DECEMBER 2023

Try a cloth patch that slips onto the glasses.

It’s such a practical and clean way to patch.

The child doesn’t feel anything directly on his skin and the good eye is covered well enough.

This is especially useful when the doctor tells your child to patch for many hours. It takes the brain about 15–20 minutes to switch over to the non-patched eye. Try to distract your child during this time with a game or toy. If you can take out some Play-Doh to get your child busy with his hands, that would be extra helpful. I hope it works well for you!

- F. Weil, Lakewood

I would do whatever possible to avoid eye surgery as it’s quite risky. My son’s ophthalmologist understood that patching is too hard for my child. He prescribed an eye drop that can be dropped into the good eye every two weeks. The drop will create a layer in front of the good eye, blurring the vision and essentially acting as a patch. We’ve been using the drops for the past few months, and I’m hopeful that this way the weak eye will strengthen and we can avoid the surgery.

- L. Stein, Jackson

A few years back, we had the same dilemma as you. My son resisted the patching, no matter what we tried. Come to think of it, I wouldn’t want a sticker placed over my eye either! My child’s eye doctor told me to place a piece of scotch tape over the lens of the good eye on his glasses.

That obstruction alone is enough to force the weaker eye to perform. The tape can come right on and off, and you don’t have to be busy with sticky patches on the eye. This worked well for us. We were very conscientious about the patching. At some points, the piece of scotch tape stayed on my child’s glasses for the entire day. Baruch Hashem, my son’s eyes look better and are performing better. I was grateful for this tip at the time, and I’m hopeful it can help you, too.

- Toby Kleinbardt

Eye surgery is major, so it’s understandable that you’d like to do whatever you can to avoid it. I have a special needs child, for whom eye issues are more common. I researched doctors, and upon the recommendation of my pediatrician and a local referral agency, we went ahead with an ophthalmologist in Manhattan. Be sure to do your research on doctors. You’ll feel much better about it. The surgery itself was done in a surgery center, not in a main hospital, which took the edge off the scariness. I remember when my child had the surgery. I planned to stay home with her the next day to be there for her recovery. Turns out, she was doing so well after the surgery that she was bored the next day and wanted to go back to school! I really didn’t need to worry that much. I hope the process goes smoothly for you and your child.

There are really cute eye patches out there nowadays. I even saw ones where the child can color them in himself first. Try wetting the eye area as you peel off the patch so it doesn’t irritate the skin.

- Miri Fisher, Los Angeles

Two of my daughters had lazy eyes, and I understand you for seeking solutions other than patching. As you said, patching is an attempt, and a hard one at that. We’ve tried all sorts of methods of patching. It’s not an easy request to make of the child. It’s tiring and uncomfortable, and in the summer it’s even harder as the eye area gets sweaty.

Sometimes, the child is embarrassed of it, too.

I found that it was important to explain to my child why the patching was necessary. Having this conversation with her made her feel “big.” She was even able to explain it back to others, and that made her feel good, too.

- P. S., Jackson

We’ve been to a number of eye doctors. It’s interesting to observe how each doctor takes a different approach with lazy eyes. One ophthalmologist we saw was anti-surgery. He’d try anything to avoid it. The doctor would constantly change my daughter’s prescription, which became very tedious and expensive, too. I appreciated his efforts to work with my daughter at such lengths, but as the problem worsened, we realized that surgery was what we needed. We switched to a top doctor who is known to be fast with his decision to operate. I’m glad we did it because baruch Hashem, my daughter is doing great. Her eyes are perfectly straight with glasses, even though they still will cross when she takes the glasses off. I would tell you to seek a second opinion so that you can get a more rounded view of the treatment options, and then you can make a decision that way.

- Adina B., Chicago

Next Up: My husband has alopecia areata, which causes him to have bald spots on the back of his head. The dermatologist offered to give him shots that can stimulate the hair growth.

I would like to hear from others who have tried this intervention about its pros and cons. Also, if any other solution worked for you, please share your suggestions.

Want to share what worked for you with a fellow Wellspring Community member?

Send your response to info@wellspringmagazine.com.

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Please note: These suggestions should not be implemented in place of guidance from a medical practitioner.

- R. G. Katz, Lakewood

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CARRY ME THROUGH THIS

Being diagnosed with leukemia is a tremendous nisayon. Being diagnosed with leukemia while carrying a child takes the nisayon to another level.

As told to Libby Silberman

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PART 2 OF 4 Recap: Malka is diagnosed with leukemia during pregnancy and starts treatment immediately. She is discharged for Sukkos due to an inconclusive biopsy.

On Chol Hamoed Sukkos, I returned to the hospital to face the music for another haul of being an inpatient, or rather, an impatient. A very, very impatient and bored patient.

through, I wish she could have done it differently. My circles of support, especially the circle of those who had gone through this themselves, were my greatest source of comfort.

Being that I was pregnant throughout most of the ordeal, the maternal fetal medicine team had to approve every drug I was given and every procedure performed, in addition to the oncology team. This extra screening resulted in a relatively low amount of procedures and medications, which meant that I had blessedly, not much “occupation” in the hospital.

For starters, my own family was there for me with utmost devotion, as only family can. My parents moved into my home, and my father spent hours and days with us in the hospital. My sister graciously opened her home to my toddler for seven months.

It also meant that whenever I wasn’t being pricked, scanned, or drugged, I was…bored. The days suddenly stretched into long, long hours of nothingness.

A special friend of mine arranged visitors on rotation so I would constantly see new faces. Camp friends I hadn’t seen in 15 years showed up, as well as classmates, bungalow colony friends, and cousins I hadn’t been in touch with for too long. Seeing everyone again lifted my spirits.

It took a while, but at some point throughout this rally by old friends and less-close friends, I realized that a close friend I’d been with in seminary had been entirely out of touch. She didn’t call, text, or visit even once.

Never one for social complexes, I reached out to her and told her about my illness in case she hadn’t heard, but she was distant and our conversation stilted. Totally confounded, I said goodbye after a short five-minute almost-monologue.

It took several months for me to discover the tragic truth. At the same time that I was in the hospital for induction chemotherapy, my dear friend was diagnosed with late-stage breast cancer, lo aleinu. Somehow, she and her family made the painful decision to keep the terrible news a secret.

My heart clenches in agony for my friend who went through the absolute shock of receiving such a diagnosis and the debilitation of treatment, alone. I simply cannot fathom it. There is so much pain in dealing with cancer.

The secret component must have added so much stress, so much suffering.

This dear friend passed away less than a year later.

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Selfless volunteers from various organizations contacted us to offer their chessed. Chai Lifeline of New Jersey took the reins and led us through the dizzying ride, providing information, meals, rides to and from the hospital, clubs, gifts, outings, and big brothers and sisters for my children.

My children enjoyed Misameach’s incredible arcade room and playroom twice week, and they connected with their volunteers on first-name basis. They arranged a VIP ticket to the Siyum Hashas for my oldest son, and they even provided a chaperone to the monumental event. My son sure felt like a VIP! The organization Bein Ish sponsored Purim costumes for my children. They were able to select whatever they desired from an exciting catalog. Over course, they were over the moon with joy.

In the past, when I was bombarded with dozens of Chinese auctions and fundraisers for worthy organizations, I used to get skeptical about some of them. Why would I want to sponsor a trip, a bracelet, or a new briefcase for a sick mother’s child? Can’t they get it themselves?

However, having been there myself, it’s so plain to me how important these extras are. While I was unwell, I had not a shred of brain space to think about my kids’ Purim costumes. In my crowded and anxious mind, a costume was an extra, a luxury. But to a child, it’s absolutely not a luxury. It’s a crucial part of growing up. Being given little things like these made my kids feel so taken care of, so special. Each treat and outing that came their way went miles to make my children feel as normal as possible. Even more than normal; more like privileged characters.

Mekimi sponsored a trip for my husband and me to the Poconos for an incredible three-day getaway, along with another twenty couples who were also dealing with serious illness. This retreat provided all the comforts we desper-

My mother’s car was at the shop being serviced, and she couldn’t think of a viable way to get to the hospital and back in time for Shabbos. ately needed, plus more. I met people in the same situation as I was, and we exchanged chizuk and practical advice. I’m so grateful to Mekimi for being behind this much-needed respite.

Not happening, logic said. Is so happening, Klal Yisrael said.

During this retreat, I met a woman who shared that her friends sent her a beautiful new cutlery set for Pesach to express their support in her time of illness.

“I just couldn’t bring myself to use it,” she confided.

“Each time I looked at those forks and spoons, I thought, ‘Oh, what a nebach.’ I decided to put the set away for my daughter, for when she gets married.”

I looked at her in confusion. My own dear neighbors had gifted me with a magnificent set of linen right after I was diagnosed. Every time I use the linen, I feel enveloped by such love, such care. I feel cherished. I felt sorry for my new friend that she wasn’t able to be a receiver in time of need.

During one of my treatment regimens, I couldn’t take a shower for an entire week. On Friday morning, I was finally able to have a shower, but I was too weak to stand up or do anything myself. While my nurse was available to help me, I preferred that my mother help me in my weakened state. My mother’s car was at the shop being serviced, and she couldn’t think of a viable way to get to Lakewood on a Friday and back.

Not happening, logic said. Is so happening, Klal Yisrael said.

A very special young man drove my mother all the way from Brooklyn to RWJ Hospital, waited 45 minutes as my mother helped me, and then drove her back to Brooklyn.

On Erev Shabbos. Just for my comfort.

I also found it so comforting when others told me they were davening for me and undertaking positive commitments on my behalf. I pondered the unknown power of each tefillah and kabbalah—perhaps my neighbor’s son’s fervent asher yatzar while having me in mind helped me feel less nauseous that day?

Throughout my illness, I felt so loved by my extended community, by Klal Yisrael. We are in it with you, was the resounding message.

I hope one day to reciprocate the incredible chasadim, of course not for the same situations for which I received all this chessed.

The support of friends and family is so critical; I don’t think I could have pulled through without it. Keeping any secrets wasn’t in my lexicon, and we accepted every drop of help anyone offered, from meals to childcare to car rides.

My husband could not possibly cover for a father, mother, and my caretaker. No one should ever do it alone. *** The primary concern regarding chemo and pregnancy was that the placenta could get sick from the chemo and fail to provide life-giving oxygen and nutrients to the baby.

During one of my hospital stays, an MFM doctor came by with a Doppler. After checking on the baby, he informed me that the baby seemed to be in distress.

“We’re going to need to monitor you downstairs in Labor and Delivery,” he said. I was in the middle of chemotherapy and feeling awful but was transferred downstairs anyway for further testing. On the L&D floor, I was thoroughly examined, and all tests came back normal. I was feeling weak, dizzy, and extremely nauseous, and I anxiously waited to be transferred back to my room in the oncology ward, where I was familiar with the ward and staff.

However, the attending L&D doctor wanted to monitor me on the floor and turned down my request.

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I pleaded with him to allow me back upstairs, given how horrid I was feeling. After many back-and-forths, the doctors conferred on my case and returned with a verdict.

The tests were normal, but the occasional play-ups they observed in the heartrate legally bound them to keep me on the floor. They weren’t allowed to know that the baby was in distress and do nothing about it. On the other hand, they admitted that these decelerations were flukes and likely not serious.

Finally, both the MFM and oncology doctors agreed that constant checking wasn’t strictly necessary, save for twenty minutes a day of monitoring. If there was any issue in those twenty minutes, I would have to be monitored for an additional hour and do a growth scan.

One of the doctors did not agree with this verdict, and he went out of his way whenever possible to frighten me about the possible outcomes.

One day, he stopped by my room in oncology.

“Listen,” he said to me. “In case of the event that we need to do an emergency cesarean, you will need to be transferred to the OR downstairs. In the best-case scenario, this transfer will take ten minutes, too long to save a baby.”

The doctor just stared at me as if I’d gone crackers, and backed out of the room while I stifled a laugh. Present in the room at the time was a visitor, a less-religious Jewish woman, wife of another seriously ill oncology patient on the ward. Hearing my blithe response, she stared at me in shock.

“I’ve never heard anyone speak about G-d that way,” she said. “Like, He’s real to you and all that.”

“Don’t we share one G-d?” I reminded her. “G-d also wants your husband to recover, I’m sure of it.” I got an unsure grimace in return.

Many months later, her husband, also on his road to recovery, was present at my baby’s bris. ***

The tone of his voice frightened me. “What does this mean?”

The chemo I was given is considered a drug with one and a half lifetimes, meaning that it continues working for a whole week after treatment. In this time, it would keep vanquishing not only the cancerous cells, but also my white blood cells, hemoglobin, and platelets. In other words, the good guys along with the bad guys.

“What I mean is that you need to decide which life you value more, yours or your child’s. Someone may very well not make it here. If you’re in oncology, we can’t take responsibility for the life of the baby. We strongly advise you to remain in Labor and Delivery. However, the decision is yours. Choose a life.”

Each round of chemotherapy lasted approximately a week, during which I remained inpatient at RWJ. After I was discharged, I had to take a blood test every other day at the Lakewood hospital (which was closer to my home) to make sure that my body was rebooting as the effects of chemo were waning.

I was stunned by his callousness but collected myself.

“Jewish law has lots to say on the importance of Jewish life, and we don’t take it lightly. We’ll have to ask our rabbi to help us make a decision,” I told him. He nodded and left the room while I got busy worrying, the worst pastime of all time. My husband tried calling Rabbi Newman, but he was out of town and wasn’t reachable for another many hours.

To give you context, an average healthy person has a platelet count of at least 150,000. Due to treatment, it was normal if my platelet dropped below that, but if it dropped under 9,000, the local hospital would give me a platelet infusion. Each person going through chemotherapy reacts differently, but in my case, it was my platelets that gave me the most trouble. They simply wouldn’t rebound so easily, and I constantly required platelet infusions. Without sufficient platelets, a person can bleed to death, Heaven forbid.

Being pregnant, I was especially vulnerable.

Later the same day, the doctor stopped by again. “Did you speak to your rabbi yet?” he inquired. “We need to get moving.”

“Doctor,” I said with a gall I didn’t know I possessed. “I didn’t reach him yet. However, we know that G-d has a plan, and I am confident that He wants both me and my baby to live and be perfectly healthy. So, what’s all the stress about?

“Do you see those Hebrew words on the board?” I indicated the whiteboard where important messages were transcribed by various techs and nurses. On the bottom, my husband had written, “Vehaboteach beHashem chessed yesovevenu.” He’d written these words on the board way 40

back when I’d been initially diagnosed and had rewritten the words in every single hospital room I occupied throughout my sickness. “Whoever trusts in G-d, G-d will come through and surround this person with grace and goodness.”

WELLSPRING / DECEMBER 2023

After my second round of regular chemotherapy, at a routine blood test one Friday afternoon, the attending nurse at Lakewood Hospital saw my results and freaked out.

“You…just sit down over there!” she practically shouted. “Don’t move!” As it turned out, my platelet count was down to 3,000! With a platelet count so low, I was prone to internal bleeding or spontaneous bleeding, without sufficient platelets to stop the hemorrhage, chas veshalom. In other words, I was in a very precarious situation and required an immediate transfusion.

“I need specialized platelets,” I reminded the nurse.

With each pregnancy, a woman’s body creates more antibodies, requiring a specialized match of platelets so the body should accept it. As this was my seventh pregnancy, I required a very precise and specialized match.

“Yes, honey, we know that,” the nurse replied as she scrambled about, barking orders and prepping my fix.

Despite their knowing this, they misunderstood just how specialized it needed to be. I got the transfusion, but my body didn’t accept the platelets. It didn’t help me at all. The doctor on call ordered that I be admitted to the hospital overnight.

“I don’t want to be admitted here,” I cried. “I don’t know anything about Lakewood Hospital. I want to go to RWJ, where the doctors know me.” I could tell the doctor was afraid to let me leave in such an unsafe situation, but finally, he agreed on the condition that I go immediately, and my husband would be the one to drive.

Greatly relieved, we made our way to the exit. My eyes fell on the huge clock over the doors. It was going to be Shabbos in just half an hour! To give an understanding of how out of touch I was with the real world, I had no idea who was with my kids on that fateful Friday. I had no clue who was bathing them and who had cooked for Shabbos.

With Shabbos descending, what were we to do? My husband called the Lakewood Hatzolah for help, and they sent us their non-Jewish Shabbos driver to help us. We made a quick stop at home where we picked up some food and my pillow (more on that indispensable pillow later), and we were rushed to the hospital.

A flurry of people descended on me upon my arrival. My veins evaded everyone’s grasp, and by the time they managed to insert a line, I was black and blue, and all the people around me were sweaty, exhausted, and weak with relief.

As the drama of the day wound down, I lay weakly in bed as my husband ate a quick and cold Shabbos meal. “Next time,” I told him through half-closed eyes, “when I finish the round of chemotherapy, I’m going to stay inpatient here in the hospital until my blood counts are stable. I don’t have koach for this kind of excitement anymore.”

I didn’t know what kind of excitement I was signing up for, but right then, it felt like the utopian thing to do.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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MY

LIGHTBULB MOMENT

8 PROMINENT HEALTH PRACTITIONERS SHINE A LIGHT ON THE DAWN OF THEIR TRANSFORMATION—AND BEYOND

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ESTI ASHER Title: Registered Dietitian Nutritionist Location: Israel Age: 34 Something interesting you probably didn’t know about me: I am a trained and experienced medical clown!

Esti Asher is passionate about helping women reach their ultimate health and wellbeing potential; she shares credible, clear, and inspiring nutrition information with women via her virtual private practice.

RABBI ELI GLASER Title: CNWC, CWMS Location: Lakewood, New Jersey Something interesting you probably didn’t know about me: I’m a former kiruv rabbi and current marathon runner.

Founder and director of the Soveya Weight-Loss Solution and an internationally recognized expert in the field of sustainable weight loss and behavioral change, Rabbi Glaser has been an executive coach and nutritionist for the past 20 years, as well as maintaining a 130-pound weight loss during that time. He is the author of the best-selling book, Enough Is Enough: How the Soveya Solution Is Revolutionizing the Diet and Weight-Loss World.

LAURA SHAMMAH Title: Registered Dietitian Location: Brooklyn, New York Age: 48 and proud and blessed with every year Something interesting you probably didn’t know about me: I love chocolate. Vegetables are like candy to me; I love all vegetables.

Laura Shammah specializes in eating disorders but her clientele includes people dealing with hypertension, high cholesterol, PCOS, infertility, Crohn’s, diabetes, or cancer.

She also helps clients who run in marathons, are pregnant, or who are looking to lose or gain weight in a healthy way. Laura has a unique ability to relate to each and every client and help them reach their goals and acquire a healthy body and a healthy mind.

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YECHIEL YEHUDA SCHRADER Title: Certified Classical Homeopath (CCH) Location: Lakewood, New Jersey Age: 46 Something interesting you probably didn’t know about me: Each person I’ve worked with is clearly engraved in my memory. When I take a case I study it carefully. I try to understand the person in terms of their physical issues as well as the mental and emotional challenges. I also look closely at the relationship between all these different details. This process for me is analogous to when I study a pasuk or a sugya in depth.

Yechiel Schrader delights in studying Hashem’s Torah and the ways His infinite wisdom is expressed in our world in general and specifically in the art of healing.

SHAINDY OBERLANDER Title: Integrative Nutrition Health Coach Location: Toms River, New Jersey Age: 33 Something interesting you probably didn’t know about me: I recently decided to indulge in some self-care and signed up for guitar lessons.

Shaindy Oberlander, a graduate from Mercy college and IIN, runs her private nutrition practice in Toms River, New Jersey and caters to women on all continents, remotely.

BINA GOTTDIENER Title: CN, CHC Location: Eretz Yisrael Something interesting you probably didn’t know about me: My dream to be a doctor, then a biological researcher, morphed into nutrition!

Bina Gottdiener is a certified nutritionist and health coach. She loves helping women feel their absolute best through personal counseling and het Healthy Minds, Healthy Bodies nutrition groups. Her focus is on practical, sustainable nutrition with a super positive attitude.

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SHANI TAUB Title: CDC Location: Lakewood, New Jersey Age: 40 Something interesting you probably didn’t know about me: Although I am currently thin, if I deviate from my plan, I gain weight easily. I understand the struggle! I enjoy eating, but I enjoy being healthy more.

Shani Taub, CDC, has been practicing as a certified nutritionist in Lakewood for almost a decade, meeting with clients in person and on the phone. She also owns the highly popular Shani Taub food line, which carries healthy, approved, pre-measured foods and delicacies sold at supermarkets and restaurants.

TANYA ROSEN Title: Founder and Owner of Nutrition by Tanya Location: Tristate Area, and all over the world Something interesting you probably didn’t know about me: Throughout my entire childhood, I always thought I would be a lawyer. I used to practice litigation on my dolls and later on with my friends.

Tanya Rosen went from law to exercise to nutrition—to just about everything healthy, delicious, and sustainable through her practice at Nutrition by Tanya.

GILA GLASSBERG Title: MS, RDN, CDN, Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor Location: Woodmere, New York Age: 33 Something interesting you probably didn’t know about me: I am the fourth of nine kids; I have five sisters and three brothers. I grew up in a town that had zero kosher restaurants. I started teaching nutrition/Intuitive Eating to high schoolers this year.

Gila Glassberg is a masters’ level registered dietitian, on a mission to help women heal their relationship with food, and ultimately heal their relationship with themselves.

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1

FIRST, TELL US ABOUT YOUR LIGHTBULB MOMENT. ESTI ASHER I didn’t have a particular lightbulb moment; rather a gradual and natural shift toward an awareness of and interest in what I was eating and how it was affecting my body. My earliest memory of really having an interest in nutrition was in eighth grade. I was so fascinated and intrigued by the incredible body (and science/biology) Hashem gifted to us. However, a lightbulb moment I experienced relatively recently, occurred when I was reflecting on how sensitive I am by nature; I realized that it is this exact sensitivity that enables me to empathize with and support my clients in a particularly kind, thoughtful, and unique way.

YECHIEL SCHRADER During my elementary school years, I experienced difficulties with learning. Around the age of bar mitzvah, it was particularly hard for me to study and do well in school.

I had many other challenges outside of academics as well. I felt that something was getting in the way of my success, but I didn’t know what it was. I was sitting in my father’s study, which was filled with sefarim I felt a deep yearning to learn from, yet these subjects were so difficult. That night I had to daven without a minyan in that study. When I was davening Shemoneh Esreh, I reached the blessing of “Atah chonen l’adam da’as.” Tears rolled down my cheeks, and the sobbing emanated from deep within my heart. I asked Hashem to help me be able to learn and understand Torah. I can’t say that things changed immediately, but I felt then—and I feel to this day—that this was a turning point in my life. For me, that moment marked the root of my ability to learn and understand, as well as to help others.

RABBI ELI GLASER It hit me, of all places, in the dressing room of a Target department store in August of 2002. In a few days I would be flying to Israel, and I simply couldn’t stomach the thought of sitting so long in what was for me a very cramped airplane seat, with slacks that were popping at the seams and wearing out in all the wrong places.

For years I was convinced I would lose the weight and therefore rarely bought clothes that fit my actual girth.

I deluded myself into thinking I could buy the size I thought I should be and that would induce me to slim down into them. It never worked. As my weight increased over time, my wardrobe was usually one size behind.

This time, however, I decided to face my reality and went for a pair of size 44 pants. I had been a 34-waist for my wedding eight years earlier and had been busting out of 42s for the previous few hard-headed years before taking the fateful trip to Target. There I was, sitting on the bench in the dressing room staring at a pair of 30-dollar khakis. I held them up, one hand on either end of the waist band, spreading my arms wider and wider apart, amazed at how much fabric it took to wrap around my 300-pound body. I kept staring and staring. I wasn’t angry or resentful. There was no disgust or self-ridicule. Rather, a calming wave of acceptance and purpose engulfed me— serenity and certainty at the same time. It wasn’t about trying to find the newest diet or most rigid workout routine. I had been there and done all that.

Sitting there with the slacks in my hands, I felt the vast separation between my head and heart finally come together. For the previous half year, I had realized intellectually that I needed to make a wholesale change in myself, in my coping mechanisms with life and obsession with self-indulgence. Despite all the time, money, and energy—the sweat equity I’d invested in trying to work off the weight—I was too intimidated to really go “all in.”

That was the irony of it all. I went to great lengths not to go to any lengths.

I was grasping at external solutions for an internal problem. That’s why I could never get a grip. I hung on to the last rays of hope that I could somehow find the magic formula or quick fix to change my body instead of changing myself. I had a palpable fear of feeling restricted and deprived. I was enslaved by my “right” to indulge. Saying no to my urge to eat felt like a colossal confrontation from which I cowered. I was handicapped by my irrationality, living in the lie that only with excess food would I be sufficiently satisfied.

On an otherwise ordinary summer day, however, I accepted the challenge of unconditional honesty. I felt at ease and emotionally prepared to do whatever it took to change my relationship with food—not just to try and lose weight. I was ready to say no.

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BINA GOTTDIENER Rather than define a specific lightbulb moment, I can attribute all that inspiration to my mother, who is the most positive person I know. She instilled in us a love for Hashem’s world, including His nutritious creations.

She always spoke about “Hashem’s candy store” and how food is meant to fuel our bodies so we can accomplish great things. When we came home from school, there was always a fruit and vegetable platter waiting for us, along with many nutritious options at meals and in the house. Simultaneously, we never felt deprived or restricted. We always had plenty of yummy treats and homemade baked goods. My mother is a phenomenal cook with a super proactive approach that inspires me until today, in my own nutrition practice. She taught us to love healthy food rather than avoid less nutritious items. The words “toxic,” “poison,” and “garbage” were just not in her vernacular. In fact, my friends loved coming over to eat because everything was so beyond delicious!

GILA GLASSBERG My “lightbulb” moment was a culmination of a few incidents.

I’d long nurtured a dream of becoming a dietitian but felt discouraged when I realized how much science was involved.

Still, I pushed myself to do it, only to realize that it wasn’t all it was cranked up to be and that I was now stuck for life (or so I thought!). I wanted to quit my job but feared I would never be able to run my own business.

At the same time, I was introduced to various powerful selfhelp approaches and to the incredible guidance of Mrs. Perl Abramowitz-Klein. I very much wanted to see her privately, but again, I convinced myself that it was irresponsible to spend the money for a private session. The more I heard Perl speak, the more I realized how much I was victimizing myself. I had so much work to do to surrender to Hashem.

One of the main lessons Perl taught me was that if you really need something, Hashem will give you the money for it.

I started letting go a little bit. I started trusting my husband more. I started trusting myself more. I started trusting Hashem more. Just actually letting go and letting G-d. This was the hardest thing for me. As someone who likes to be in control, and struggles with anxiety, it was so painful and yet so freeing.

After finally making the commitment to pay Perl, to drive the long trip from Woodmere to Boro Park, that is when my life started to change. I remember her telling me, “If you can’t find a better job by Pesach, can you just quit?” My heart began to race. How irresponsible that would be; I have a family to feed! But as we discussed further, I realized how miserable my job was making me and how unhealthy I was emotionally.

I took the plunge. I quit my job. I did the Intuitive Eating training. Eventually, I started my own practice. I was met with a lot of resistance from a lot of people, but I pushed through and continued to challenge beliefs that had really just been hurting me.

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SHAINDY OBERLANDER After battling with intense stomach pain for a while, I was diagnosed by a top GI at NYU with Crohn’s disease. I was not ready to accept his diagnosis; I felt there was more to this story. My GI wanted me to go for one more colonoscopy to confirm my diagnosis, but my gut instinct pushed me to first explore alternative options before accepting my diagnosis. That was the impetus that led me to enroll in nutrition school.

The rest is history.

SHANI TAUB As a young child, I was very overweight. I loved eating—and I still do! My mother often encouraged me to see a nutritionist and learn to eat in balanced and healthy way.

At the age of 13, I finally decided that weight loss was important to me. I wanted to feel good! From my own desire to do this, I started seeing a nutritionist and ended up being her prize client. She taught me skills that I’ve been practicing since then, and I’ve been feeling so good about them, baruch Hashem.

TANYA ROSEN I got married and gave birth to my first child while taking the LSATs and applying to law schools. During that pregnancy, I gained 50 pounds. It didn’t bother me so much until I went shopping with a friend who pointed out my new size. It was that realization that sparked the decision: I wanted to lose weight. I started eating healthy and exercising a bit, and took some exercise classes here and there. I really liked the results and I continued to lose weight and reach a healthy balance.

LAURA SHAMMAH I’ve always been interested in the body and how food affects it since I was in elementary school. I didn’t have any big moment or a realization; I just knew I wanted to know more about how the body works.

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2

HOW WOULD YOU DEFINE A “HEALTHY” LIFESTYLE—THE ONE YOU’RE TRYING TO LIVE NOW?

ESTI ASHER This may sound cliché, but I believe that a healthy lifestyle is very much connected to our mindset.

There are many different variables and factors that contribute toward our overall health, and it is so important to feel that our choices are coming from a balanced, empowered, positive, and self-loving place. In my humble opinion, we would be completely missing the point of the beautiful gift of life Hashem has granted us all with if we spend too much time, energy and headspace being hyper-focused on categorizing food as “good/bad,” “allowed/restricted,” etc., and limiting ourselves to a restrictive set of rules for the sake of being “healthy.” While it is important to fulfill the mitzvah of “venishmartem me’od es nafshoseichem” and take care of ourselves, at the same time, we were given taste buds for a reason—to enjoy our food!

We have delicious memories and traditions connected to different times of the Jewish year, and we use food as part of our oneg Shabbos and simchas Yom Tov. Therefore, from my perspective, it is essential to include an overall positive mindset, in addition to balance and flexibility, within the definition of a healthy lifestyle.

RABBI ELI GLASER Eating to live, not living to eat. Using food to fuel my day and optimize my health in order to maximize the opportunities Hashem gives me each day.

YECHIEL SCHRADER A healthy lifestyle is one that enables one to be who they are, to actualize their potential, and to serve Hashem happily, free of pain and discomfort.

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LAURA SHAMMAH Healthy to me means balanced in every area of life. Healthy to me means calm.

Healthy to me means a happy mind and body. Healthy is consistency.

BINA GOTTDIENER I define a healthy lifestyle as taught by my mother: a balanced, positive approach toward food. A heavier emphasis on the “aseh tov” portion of nutrition, rather than the “sur mei’ra,” and focusing on all the positive things we can do to foster our best health yet. In addition, I believe an important portion of nutrition is our attitude. We are valuable treasures who deserve to be fueled with foods that help us feel great. We never deserve to feel deprived, restricted, or guilty when it comes to our eating habits. Rather, like all areas in life, we should feel empowered that we can always choose to make great choices to elevate ourselves.

GILA GLASSBERG I think of health as a pie chart that contains multiple categories: physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, relational, and familial—all aspects of my life.

That wheel has to be balanced in order to move properly. I used to think health was eating well and exercising.

I’ve expanded my view of health now.

I check in with myself when something feels off balance and notice where I need some help. To me, that is health. It’s paying attention to all aspects of our life and giving proper attention to each thing so that we feel at peace with ourselves. As motivational speaker Charlene Aminoff says, “Hashem wants you to stretch, not stress.”

Keeping this in mind helps me a lot.

SHAINDY OBERLANDER Balance. I really learned to listen to my body’s whispers before it needs to scream. “Healthy” is to respect my body, but to do so in a very normal and non-restrictive way. I try to run my home the same way.

On Rosh Chodesh Kislev, my kids came home from school to a platter of cut-up vegetables and a platter of donuts. It is my fervent hope that by personally living a balanced life, my children will imbibe it by osmosis.

TANYA ROSEN My healthy lifestyle includes practices I implemented years ago, when I first made the change. To this day, I still write down what I eat and I’m mindful of when I eat more than my body needs. I work out, and I make up for when I can’t manage to work out according to my set routine. I love living my healthy lifestyle and I’m fulfilled because healthy doesn’t mean deprived.

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WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR MOST MAJOR CHANGE IN YOUR QUEST TO PURSUE THIS LIFESTYLE?

ESTI ASHER One of the greatest aspects of my approach to nutrition—keeping in mind the positive mindset combined with balance and flexibility I mentioned previously—is that no major change is necessary in order to pursue a healthy lifestyle. When I meet with clients, I explain in very simple terms how the different foods we eat affect our body, and we can then use this knowledge to be strategic and intentional about what food we eat and when we eat it. I share that our food choices either bring us closer to our goals or may make it take longer for us to reach our goals, but both choices are celebrated and supported because they come from an empowered and proactive place. With this foundation and context in mind, “major” changes don’t take place; rather, gradual and intentional food choices and habits ease their way into a lifestyle that will be’ezras Hashem ultimately result in success in many areas.

YECHIEL SCHRADER The most major change was being able to let go of things that seemed pleasurable but were not good for me.

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RABBI ELI GLASER Transforming the way I think, feel, and act with food.

Using it for the purpose Hashem intended—not to merely pursue the next indulgence.

LAURA SHAMMAH I stopped labeling foods as good or bad. I eat what makes me feel good, in moderation.

GILA GLASSBERG In the beginning, it was supremely challenging to feel confident enough to run a business on many levels. I had to learn the skill of counseling. I had to learn so much about Intuitive Eating and how to actually implement the principles. I also felt so much resistance from so many areas. Some people just didn’t understand. Many people thought it would be best to stay safe at a nine-to-five job even though I was miserable. Or they thought, “Why not stick to weight loss? That’s what sells.”

So I found myself doubting my decisions many times over.

BINA GOTTDIENER My major change was when I began my own home and realized the work healthy eating entails. I took a large part of that for granted when growing up. I realized that if healthy eating is something I want to maintain for life, I have to work to make it doable and sustainable no matter what’s going on.

SHAINDY OBERLANDER Staying away from sugar and processed foods. I also learned to honor my body and eat until I feel 80 percent full. Additionally, I made it my lifestyle not to eat after 7:00 p.m.

This has been game-changing. Not eating all night helps my body replenish, restore, and metabolize all nutrients efficiently.

TANYA ROSEN Letting go of all my preconceived notions about health, nutrition, and food.

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INITIALLY, WHAT DID YOU FIND CHALLENGING ABOUT MAKING THE CHANGE?

ESTI ASHER

RABBI ELI GLASER

Of course, even when approaches are flexible, balanced, and sustainable, challenges may arise.

One area that was more challenging for me was being intentional about the timing of my meals and snacks (i.e., when I would most benefit from my food as fuel, as opposed to when there was quiet and it was most “convenient”).

That, tragically, this is such a foreign concept in today’s frum world, in theory and certainly in practice.

LAURA SHAMMAH

YECHIEL SCHRADER Most challenging was overcoming the years of bad habits.

Since I’ve always been a healthier eater, I never experienced a major change with regard to my food choices. For me, the change was more in my mind. I became more relaxed knowing all foods are good as long as I consumed them in moderation. Not labeling foods has helped me and many of my clients live a healthy lifestyle.

BINA GOTTDIENER The most challenging part was learning how to give up on the labor-intensive aspects of healthy eating and finding all the shortcuts to make it happen. When I first got married, meal planning, prep, and shopping took so long. Over the years, systems fell into place and things got more efficient and easier. But of course, it’s always a work in progress!

TANYA ROSEN

GILA GLASSBERG

Any transition in life can be difficult, but I made sure to remember my wants, needs, and goals that would allow me to become successful in all aspects of my life.

I had to push myself so far outside of my “safe” comfort zone. For example, I had a profound fear of public speaking, but I really wanted to be able to do it. I felt handicapped.

SHAINDY OBERLANDER Until the body does not break free from the craving for sugar, we feel like life cannot go on without it. However, once the body does break free and no longer craves sugar, we’re unshackled from its chains. I loved sour sticks and craved them badly. I had to quit sour sticks cold turkey. I am proud to say that I have not touched a sour stick in a few years now.

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HOW DID OR DO YOU HANDLE THIS CHALLENGE?

RABBI ELI GLASER With consistent reinforcement that this is Hashem’s will for all of us. Attempting to overcome our desire for pursuing immediate gratification and indulgence is the primary test of the generation preceding Mashiach, according to the Sifri as well as many other mefarshai Torah.

ESTI ASHER One tool I absolutely love to use with myself and my clients (it definitely takes time and energy, but it is well worth it) is keeping a food journal. I recommend my clients not only write down everything they eat and drink throughout the day but also take other notes so they can notice patterns that come up that may be connected to different variables, and they can then look back and analyze these. This makes our process of reaching goals and achieving that “healthy lifestyle” more efficient and individualized.

LAURA SHAMMAH I stopped looking at food labels and nutrition facts and started to listen to my body and how it felt with certain foods. Did chocolate make me feel good? Did kale make me feel good? Did eggplant bloat me? I realized that eating what made me feel good in moderation was my answer.

BINA GOTTDIENER YECHIEL SCHRADER Since for me the positive change was refraining from self-sabotaging behaviors, I would tell myself, “Just be lazy. The only thing you have to do is not to do.”

Planning, planning, planning! I tell this to my clients all the time. A minimal investment in advance helps us sail through the week feeling positive and empowered to make great choices.

It generally doesn’t take more than 5–10 minutes to roughly plan how we want our week to look.

Of course, life doesn’t always go as expected. But when we have loose plans in place, we feel so much calmer about unexpected circumstances.

GILA GLASSBERG Hashem blessed me with a lot of conviction.

I read a book called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, and I just kept repeating to myself, “You can do hard things.” To be honest, sometimes I did feel defeated. In the beginning, when I wasn’t getting as many calls as I would have liked, I felt really dejected. But I realized that this whole process was just furthering my ability to push myself. I read so many self-help books that really helped change my perspective about challenges. I tried to reprogram my brain to think “Challenges are good, they are opportunities.” I wrote notes to myself all over my bedroom wall, with afirmations like, “You can do it,” or “Hashem is in charge.” Every time I speak publicly, I still post the slogans on my bedroom wall beforehand to remind myself that I can do it.

TANYA ROSEN I stuck to and continue to stick to the guidelines I created—the same guidelines that for over 14 years now have been part of the lives of the thousands of people we have helped.

SHAINDY OBERLANDER Time. Balance. Alternative natural sugars.

I’m also a big believer in making meals look pleasing to the eye. Boring leads to burnout; change in your meal options is very important.

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WHAT ARE THE RESULTS OF YOUR CHANGE? ESTI ASHER There are many results of these changes that I see within myself and within the many women I work with. Examples include increased energy (to keep up with children, manage house-cleaning, and accomplish daily tasks), feeling lighter and more productive, improved blood values, being able to manage more easily during fast days, role modeling healthy eating (and therefore seeing children make more balanced choices), and weight loss when that is a desired goal.

RABBI ELI GLASER Maintaining a 130-pound weight loss for more than two decades (without surgery, supplements, or starvation), freedom from food obsession, having the incredible opportunity to help so many people literally save their lives and share in this freedom, and being a vehicle for spiritual growth.

YECHIEL SCHRADER A great feeling of empowerment.

LAURA SHAMMAH I feel amazing. I have a healthy outlook and a healthy body.

GILA GLASSBERG The result is my life! I feel that I have balance in myself. I can focus on my physical health—like cooking and eating nutritious food or engaging in joyful movement—but not at the expense of my emotional or spiritual health. For example, I know in the past, if I had an exercise class, I might not have missed it even if a really important shiur was taking place at the same time. I now find myself being able to do that more easily. I know that may sound petty to some, but my personality is very rigid. Deviating from my usual schedule is hard. So now I’ve baruch Hashem built up the muscle to push past the anxiety and do the hard things anyway. I also stopped shaming myself for needing certain things to go a specific way.

In the past I would find myself thinking, “How can you even think about going to exercise instead of listening to a shiur?” I’ve learned about self-compassion. I’ve learned to tell myself things like, “This is hard for you. Hashem created your personality this way. It’s hard to change your usual schedule, and I know you can do it.”

SHAINDY OBERLANDER As a human being, I’m far from perfect. The proof is in the pudding. When I eat well and respectfully, I’m a happier camper. I feel lighter on my feet, have a lot more energy, and love how my clothes fit me. On the flip side, when I do not listen to my body, I become physically unwell and see a major shift in my mood. For instance, high-gluten flour is not good for me, so I abstain from eating challah on Shabbos. When I do have challah on Shabbos, I am physically unwell and am by far not the best version of myself after Shabbos. It is black and white for me.

TANYA ROSEN A healthy and happy body, mind, and soul.

BINA GOTTDIENER SHANI TAUB I’ve been maintaining my weight loss for decades baruch Hashem, and feeling great.

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I love helping others recognize that healthy eating is attainable and sustainable, and sharing all my tips and shortcuts to make that happen.

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TELL US ABOUT A SURPRISE YOU DIDN’T ANTICIPATE THAT CAME UP ONCE YOU MADE THE CHANGE.

ESTI ASHER There are usually fun and surprising changes that come up when starting to live a healthier lifestyle. One client shared that with her renewed energy she was now able to mop her whole apartment in one attempt, while beforehand she was only able to handle two rooms at a time. Another client shared how she had a specific line she had always noticed on her face that disappeared (perhaps related to hydration). Others were surprised to notice shifts in their hormones and other functions. So, while we have our initial “why” or “goal,” and it is completely valid, I encourage women to be open-minded and to also recognize the many successes and benefits along the way, even if they are unintentional.

RABBI ELI GLASER That the “switch” is actually not as hard as we think.

LAURA SHAMMAH My current lifestyle of everything in moderation has given me and many clients food freedom with a healthy body, mind, and soul. That’s been a nice surprise!

BINA GOTTDIENER YECHIEL SCHRADER The improvements in my health were much more dramatic than I would have imagined.

Quite interestingly, I’m surprised again and again by just how great it feels to nourish myself and my family. When we make the effort to eat well, we feel so much better, physically and emotionally!

GILA GLASSBERG

TANYA ROSEN

Over the years, I have found that this is a real exercise in emunah and bitachon. I don’t have a set salary. I never know how much parnasah I will make. Remarkable things have happened the more I let go. For example, I might have a slower month with clients, but that month I’ll have a speaking engagement, which is always an awesome opportunity. Or I’ve had nursing homes reach out to me out of the blue to help them with their menus. Obviously, we all know intellectually that Hashem runs the world and gives us the money we are meant to have.

But when your income is different every month, you really see it. It helps me continue to let go, surrender, and try to stay calm.

I didn’t anticipate how easy it would be once this became my actual lifestyle. Now it’s just part of my everyday routine and it’s the best part, because a healthy lifestyle gives me the energy, focus, motivation, and opportunity to excel at everything else.

SHAINDY OBERLANDER As much as the body runs with a system, it is unpredictable as well. I can sometimes reintroduce my trigger foods, and I am 100 percent fine, while other times, my reaction is severe. It leaves me baffled. I believe that hormones might be at play in such cases.

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WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE WELLSPRING READERS TO KNOW REGARDING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE? ESTI ASHER The importance of being kind to ourselves—especially in the area of nutrition, where there can very often be a tone of restriction, self-deprivation, and other negative terms or associations. We have good intentions and are trying to take care of ourselves, but sometimes the messages conveyed about nutrition are negative, hurtful, and even false. I feel so sad for individuals hearing and listening to these messages.

You are not a “cheater” or “bad” person because of your food choices. You should not punish yourself and make yourself meat before going to a dairy party. If you feel hurt, confused, or skeptical due to what you hear regarding nutrition, trust your instinct and ask questions—don’t follow blindly. Aim to keep your tone positive and kind, and to not lose sight of the big picture. Also, please know that whether you realize it or not, your attitude and perspective on nutrition is likely affecting and leaving an impression on those around you (such as your siblings, children, co-workers, friends, etc.), so there is an added dimension to consider.

May you have hatzlachah with all your nutrition and health-related endeavors!

GILA GLASSBERG If I could teach people one thing, it would be not to reduce health to just what they eat and how they exercise. There is so much more to health. I love nutrition and I think it’s fascinating to learn about how the body digests food and how it affects us.

But we now know that the more you obsess about that, the worse off you are. Life is too short to spend so much time and head space on dieting. It never gets you the ultimate result you want. I know it’s hard to go against the tide when everyone is dieting and trying to be thin, but this lifestyle is so free. Remember to do your best and let Hashem take care of the rest.

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RABBI ELI GLASER Nothing tastes as good as feeling good feels!

YECHIEL SCHRADER Never give up hope on your healing. With the power of tefillah, putting in your efforts, working on yourself, and then leaving the results up to Hashem, the potential is limitless.

LAURA SHAMMAH Food doesn’t have a moral compass.

Listen to your body; honor your hunger. If you’re craving a food and want to enjoy it, then know it’s okay to eat your favorite foods in moderation without guilt or judgment. Every single meal doesn’t have to be the most perfect, most nutritious meal of your life. One meal, snack, or food does not define your nutrition status or self-worth.

SHAINDY OBERLANDER As a woman, and as someone who is blessed to be part of the lives of hundreds frum women, I feel that we need to hear more about balance. As Jewish women, we know about mutar and asur, and black or white. When it comes to weight loss and healthy eating, I think it is also very important to understand the “gray” area. Balance is a hard thing to understand. Maintenance after weight loss is a hard thing to navigate. The healthy balance can be confusing, and I wish we could learn how to veer off track a little bit, respectfully, while also staying on course for the most part.

TANYA ROSEN I know it’s not always easy. I’ve been there, I’ve struggled, and I fell many times. The best advice I could offer would be to keep trying. It’s never too late to start, and it’s always a great idea to try again.

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Cup of Tea with

Raizy Janklowicz, IBCLC Raizy Janklowicz, IBCLC

AGE: 37 FAMILY: 6 children LOCATION: Based in Brooklyn, services the tristate area OCCUPATION: Lactation Consultant and Life Coach PASSION: All things related to childbirth and the different stages of the childbearing years; to bring more meaning into women’s lives.

SHE WISHES PEOPLE WOULD KNOW: That they shouldn’t feel forced to do anything in their mothering journey. They can make empowered choices, which have so much more beauty and meaning.

By Roizy Baum WELLSPRING / KISLEV 5784

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Sometimes, life throws you a curveball.

You’re caught by surprise and quite possibly, you’re full of pain. Often, it is precisely during those moments that you can feel an intense drive to seek the truth, to make a change in your life, and to share the findings with others. Raizy Janklowicz, a trailblazer in supporting postpartum families, shares her incredible journey. Propelled by her own life’s events, she’s discovered the secret of a happy, healthy mom in today’s day and age, and is determined to spread that information to the world.

During our two-hour interview, soft baby music plays in the background, as Raizy’s baby girl slumbers peacefully.

“I was ten years old when I watched my first Lamaze video,” Raizy begins, a tinkling laugh in her sweet voice. “The sister on top of me was twelve years older than me. I remember watching that video with her and being fascinated by the concept of motherhood.” Something sparked inside her, and it would grow into a full-fledged flame throughout the coming years. Raizy got married soon after she graduated high school at age 18 and had her first baby at 19 years old. No matter what Raizy and her husband tried to do, this little baby girl did not stop screaming. They sat with her, stood up, rocked, swaddled, shushed, and played music—to no avail. The little princess was miserable, and whatever advice Raizy got only led her to another dead end.

“Later, I realized that my baby was losing weight. But, at the time, I knew nothing and was falling apart. That

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year, my parents were hosting a Chanukah party for the extended family. During the entire event, I was upstairs in a bedroom, holding my shrieking baby. My mother walked into the room, took one look at the situation, and said, ‘I’m giving this baby a bottle of formula.’”

The baby gulped down the bottle in seconds. Looking up at her grandmother, she cooed for the first time. Raizy didn’t think much of it at the time and figured that nursing a baby was complicated. She continued to nurse her baby and offer some formula to supplement. But every time the baby drank the formula, Raizy felt bothered. Why couldn’t she fully nurse her baby?

Raizy was determined to figure this out, but she was alone in her quest. Her mother and mother-in-law both did not breastfeed their babies and constantly insisted that she “just give it up already.” Not one to throw in the towel that quickly, Raizy got her hand on a plethora of books on

the topic and read straight through the nights, learning copious amounts about babies and their needs.

Nowadays, breastfeeding has become mainstream talk in our communities, and we have books on every mothering topic at our fingertips. Two decades ago, there wasn’t so much out there. We knew our grandmothers nursed their babies, so we tried to do the same. That was pretty much the beginning and end of it.

“Eighteen years ago, there was hardly any research or material to read about newborns aside from the classic books. The field had only recently come out with studies about a baby’s nervous system and how that affects the baby’s feeding. This was my first dip into understanding babies. They know so much more than we think.” Despite the minimal support, Raizy insisted on breastfeeding her baby, and at ten months she was able to build up the full milk supply. She nursed her oldest until she was twenty months.

Raizy’s next child came with his own challenges, and he introduced Raizy to the world of tongue-tie. While nursing the baby, Raizy was in constant pain and experienced repeat breast infections. At a professional’s recommendation, she traveled to Long Island to take care of her newborn son’s tongue-tie.

“Nowadays, tongue-tie is a well-known issue, and the snipping procedure is advanced. Back then, it was hard to find a doctor who was willing to snip the tie. The doctor we went to was an elderly woman, and to me it seemed like my child’s tongue was a crafting project for her.”

Even after the tongue-tie was taken care of, Raizy continued to suffer throughout the nursing experience with her second child but held strong and breastfed until he was a toddler.

With each subsequent birth, Raizy held fast to her commitment to nurse. Her kids gave her quite the wild ride

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with sensory challenges, failure to thrive, and overloaded nervous systems. But all the while Raizy was taking stock and learning so much.

It’s Not Just Physical At one point, Raizy was dealing with an incredibly challenging baby, who had to be held for most of her babyhood. She went to consult with Miriam Frankel, a popular OT and Wellspring columnist. In her office, Miriam looked at the baby and then at Raizy and said, “Are you ever anxious?”

That was a lightbulb moment for Raizy. She learned that a baby is deeply affected by their mother’s moods. This led her to learn more about a baby’s senses and reflex integration.

At the time, Raizy chanced upon an ad from the local WIC office. They were seeking to hire a breastfeeding support counselor. Her baby was two at the time, and Raizy was looking to get out of the house a bit. She showed up for the interview and found a room full of women who had applied for the position as well. The senior lactation consultant asked each woman in the room to stand up and say why she believed she was a good fit for the job.

When it was Raizy’s turn, she stood up and shared her innermost desire to support other women in their breastfeeding journey and to learn more. They offered Raizy the job on the spot.

“I was lucky to work under Svetlana Tenenbaum, a senior lactation consultant who had learned from top people in the country. She was a gold mine of information. My job was to support the women who came in for services.

I watched Svetlana work with the women and counsel them. My cell phone was available 24/7 as follow-up support. I was at the job for ten years and couldn’t learn enough.

I loved the women who came in and helped them work through complicated cases. I saw myself in these struggling women who were just simply trying to nurse.”

At her position at WIC, Raizy noticed an interesting pattern. The women who came in and were struggling to breastfeed had lots 64

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The “Ima” inside of every woman, as Raizy coined it, is the part of our neshamah that is desperate to fulfill our nurturing status as a mother.

But more, it wants to be nurtured as well.

of emotional baggage, too. They were overwhelmed and did not have enough support.

Often, the women had lots of extended family who nursed their babies and felt frustrated that “they couldn’t figure it out.” Women expressed a strong desire to feel “normal,” to get it all together.

“Fashionable pacifiers and strollers are not the solution when a mother is dealing with unresolved emotions. Relying on outside modalities will only sacrifice the wellbeing of the mother and baby. When I met with these women, I saw their desperation to be ‘functional.’ They wanted to know that their baby was full and that they could be free to do other activities. Something was missing in the treatment plan we offered, and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Even with practical guidance, women were resenting their babies and the whole nursing thing.”

As a lactation assistant at WIC, Raizy admits that she was hyper-focused on latch, feeding schedules, pumping, building supply, baby’s weight, wakefulness, and the like. The women who came in were offered all the tips and tools in the world. Still, they weren’t connected to breastfeeding and claimed that it wasn’t realistic or doable to nurse. That got Raizy thinking hard.

The Curveball Raizy began working one-on-one with nursing mothers. They would come to her home, and she would guide them with tips and offer help. It was at that time that her father was diagnosed with a severe illness.

“My father was my biggest advocate. He was the one who believed in me that I had what to give and what to offer. He was so proud of everything I’ve done, and I was always excited to share it with him. He was a charismatic man who exuded confidence wherever he went. A CEO of many years, my father offered encouragement and didn’t have to blink when asked for advice. He was a huge rock and backbone in my life.”

A few months into the illness, her father gradually lost his functioning and was niftar nine months later. Still reeling from the loss,

and only a few short months later, Raizy experienced an early pregnancy miscarriage. It was a profound loss for her and a very difficult time in her life. As a chronic sufferer from GI issues, this was also a low point in her physical health.

She had lost a parent and a pregnancy and was overcome with grief.

It was then that Raizy turned to Hashem and said, “I will take this gift of time and use it to learn whatever I need to learn. I will devote myself to answering the questions I always had.”

Shaking off her incredible pain, Raizy picked herself up from her place of grief, and with an iron-clad determination, she set out to discover: Why is childbirth so dramatic? What is the deeper meaning of nursing? Why are women unhappy?

Interestingly, after the miscarriage, Raizy continued to nurse her two-year-old child, which provided her with a level of comfort during this challenging time.

And so, her quest began. Raizy spoke with many experts in the field, including doctors who deal with the nervous system, chiropractors, and cranial sacral therapists. She also joined Dew Drops and learned naturopathy. She learned all about the path of nature in the way our body functions. Hashem obviously has a plan in the briah and Raizy began to learn all about it.

She learned the beauty of the way women’s bodies work. Hashem fashioned the body in a way that it instinctively knows when to start a new life cycle, when to give birth, when to breastfeed, and when to wean. When something bursts into the process and throws it off, that needs to be investigated. For example, any type of trauma in the adolescent years can affect the next stage in life. Pregnancy is preparation for childbirth. When something isn’t right in the pregnancy, how will that affect the birth?

Mother-Baby Dyad Finally discovering the answers to her questions, Raizy knew this was the truth. She looked into Torah sources and discovered many instances throughout Tanach where these concepts are mentioned.

“The safest time in a human being’s life is ‘bere-

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chem imo.’ This is mentioned dozens of times in the Torah, including Shir Hashirim, Mishlei, and other sources in Tanach. The baby in the womb is the ultimate mashal of us being in Hashem’s embrace. At the time of birth, the baby goes from utter safety to total trauma. Upon emerging, the baby’s first reaction is to switch to the Moro position with his hands spread out, crying, ‘Where is my mother?’ The natural motherly instinct is to pick up the baby. Once the baby feels his mother’s heartbeat, it builds pathways in his brain that says, ‘I am safe.’ The Midrash notes that Sarah Imeinu nursed Yitzchak a hundred times each day!”

Raizy also learned that Hashem fashioned a baby with reflexes to communicate and get his needs taken care of. The baby’s brain, through the rooting reflex, tells him when to open his mouth and look for food. The nursing process is meant to be the ultimate experience of safety.

What happens when a baby cannot latch or chokes on her milk, or the mother pulls him off before he is done, or so many other breastfeeding challenges? The baby then feels that ‘my safe place is unsafe,’ which may leave him feeling traumatized. The baby may fall asleep mid-feed, get dehydrated, scream all day, and act hungry.

“Inside of us, we all have a desire to nurture and to provide for our babies. The Chovos Halevavos described in detail what a true nurturer looks like. Just like we depend on Hashem, our babies depend on us. Just like when a baby suckles, which stimulates the milk let-down, we need to remember that the more we ask of Hashem, the more He will provide. Rav Matisyahu Solomon shlita also speaks 66

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about the concepts of attachment and bonding.”

During Raizy’s research period, COVID hit. But, of course, women continued having babies, and women continued trying to breastfeed. Despite the hurdles, Raizy decided to finish up her schooling and sit for the IBCLC exam, and she became an official lactation consultant. In her quest to learn more, Raizy learned that women are not tired human beings who humbly accept what happens to them throughout life. No, just the opposite. We can choose the life we want to lead and raise families with empowerment and joy.

“My goal is to teach women more about themselves.

Many times, the intense nausea at the beginning of a pregnancy is the result of fear that a woman is experiencing from becoming a mother again.”

The “Ima” inside of every woman, as Raizy coined it, is the part of our neshamah that is desperate to fulfill our nurturing status as a mother. But more, it wants to be nurtured as well. Raizy explains a most fascinating twist on women’s emotional health: “Many times a mother will blame breastfeeding for all of her post-birth troubles. Why is that? When breastfeeding is a struggle, and you cannot feel accomplished at nurturing your baby, that is painful.

When the Ima part inside of us is not given the opportunity to nurture, we feel down and frustrated and lacking.

In order to avoid that pain, a new mother may try everything. New moms can become overwhelmed, blaming breastfeeding for her inability to function well. Very often, a new mother just doesn’t have time to think about her

should be able to tune into her inner world and discover just what is holding her back from being able to be that ultimate nurturer. Don’t blame breastfeeding unnecessarily!

Being given this ability to nurture is a tremendous gift.

Raizy has attended a workshop where eighty- and ninetyyear-old women were invited to speak about what it was like to raise children in their era. While speaking, one of these elderly women broke down crying, expressing her regret for not being able to nurse her child.

“The Ima inside of her never forgot. Our subconscious is timeless, and we need to be able to heal the hurt within. Think about the empty nest syndrome. Why is it that women can’t get over the fact that their children have moved on from their home? Perhaps this is the answer. A mother’s need to nurture is so strong that she can be in pain thinking of what she may have missed accomplishing.”

own pain as everyone is focused on the baby. What about the mother? Very often, trouble with feeding can bring up old stories, including the way she was mothered and nurtured. Instead of acknowledging all that pain and the thought of possibly failing her baby, she is so quick to judge herself, and she blames the nursing for all her troubles. If we take time to notice what’s coming up, then we can play out the Ima from a more empowered place. In the best-case scenario, the breastfeeding issues will fall away, but even when we need to make a ‘plan B’ choice, we will feel whole and confident in our choice instead of forced or victimized.”

A perfect example of this Ima conundrum is when a new mother is forced to leave her baby back in the NICU for a medical reason. The baby is separated from the mother, and the mother sometimes cannot nurse the baby. Often, the mother is an emotional mess. If she would get the proper validation, and try to keep her milk supply, perhaps she could feel better and even enjoy the process.

The mother is in pain because she cannot play out her Ima-nurturer side. It’s not the technical part of sustaining the breastfeeding itself that is the issue.

This mother can heal herself, Raizy explains. She can recognize the pain she’s experiencing and sit with it. She can be honest about her experience and the emotions that are coming up for her. There are so many other ways to bond with a baby that can help this mother and baby pair.

So, when things go wrong with breastfeeding, Raizy does not want moms to blame untrue assumptions. A woman

Safety First When teaching mothers about breastfeeding, Raizy tells them: safety first. Safety of the mother and safety of the baby. “Screaming babies and frazzled mothers move us away from safety. How do we get both back to safety? Our babies co-regulate off us. When we calm down and get back to safety, so will the baby.

“Often a new mother must ask herself: What do I need right now to feel safe? Many times, the answer is more help or the option to use a pump or give the baby a bottle.

Yes, sometimes even a bottle of formula is the answer. The only real safety comes from within and it’s in the hands of every new mother to find that place and try to stay there.”

This is not an easy feat in a postpartum state, which is what makes postpartum support so essential.

“Learn to take a deep breath and tune into your needs,” Raizy advises new mothers. “Frequently ask yourself the question: What do I need right now? Calming down will help the baby calm down, too. We become resentful when we feel helpless.”

The feedback from Raizy’s teachings and courses has been fantastic. One mother shares that upon hearing Raizy’s talks, she went from “never again” to taking her prenatal vitamins; maybe, there was hope. Another mother defined Raizy’s talks as “doing open-heart surgery” for her.

Just hearing these concepts removed so much pain from within and replaced it with healing and hope.

“Baruch Hashem, our communities are very family-oriented. But mothers need so much more to guide themselves to their truths. I’ve learned that breastfeeding involves so many pieces besides latch, including everything to do with you as a mother. A mother can resolve her nursing challenges by making the choice to acknowledge her emotional pain and heal as a person, and as a mother.

With education, a person can handle so much more. One of my favorite lines that I often repeat to the mothers I work with is, ‘When you become aware, you are beginning the repair.’”

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SERIAL DIARY

Recap: Fradel takes the plunge and publicizes her story. Before long, she has the opportunity to support others and lead them toward getting the help they need. Gratifying as this is, she is well aware of her own need for continuous support in her medical challenge.

Normal. What does the word really mean?

It’s all relative. I learned that, in a fun way, while sitting in a room full of normal-looking people, all dealing with similar conditions to mine.

Perhaps I was handed a different card than most of my social circle, but that doesn’t brand me as abnormal. All the people attending the Jewish Crohn’s and Colitis Support Group (JCCSG) event looked and acted like the average John Doe, or Esti Klein. And what’s more, they seemed so comfortable talking about the issues they encountered on a daily or even hourly basis.

No one was squirming in their seats or putting on a facade of “I’m totally fine and managing life,” while hiding the unsavory reality of yet another painful or embarrassing bout of pain and urgency. In this cocoon of camaraderie

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and genuine understanding, I gained a new tool to add to my arsenal of coping techniques: humor. Make that black humor. It was enlightening to watch the “insider jokes” fly across the room, a far cry from the cries and kvetching I had expected would be par for the course.

Another treasure I walked out with after the event was a lesson in perspective. A big part of the self-pity I’d walked in with evaporated on the way out. Yes, I did have a package to contend with, but it was so much lighter than that of many others in the room. One woman sitting near me had been diagnosed at age ten and was bound to a strict diet. Another young woman couldn’t hold down a job as she was so weak and had little stamina due to her intense symptoms.

There were no magic solutions or cures offered at the gathering, but once again I tapped into the healing power

Chapter 5 Perspectives

by Fradel Bergstein, as told to C.L. Beer

of emotional support.

Fast-forward several months.

The long-awaited retreat had finally arrived. I had been looking forward to this welcome JCCSG getaway for weeks, and now, it had turned into a nightmare.

Instead of enjoying the friendship and food, the inspiration and entertainment, I found myself doubled over in agony. Was this another attack of the dreadful C. diff? I shuddered at the possibility of having to deal with the monstrous bug that had practically brought me to my knees in the not-so-distant past. On top of the horrific pain I contended with was the trauma looming over me as I contemplated a replay of those awful days.

But the Ultimate Healer did not forsake me.

I felt His Presence right then, while we were listening to the soothing words of a dynamic and charismatic life coach, who had come to teach us how to tap into the healing power of our minds.

After she finished her talk, she turned to us and asked,

“So who would like to come up and show everyone how this method works in real time? Any volunteers?”

I needed help, emergency. What was there to lose? My hand shot up and before I knew it, I was ushered into the spotlight.

The instructions were simple and clear. I was to sit on a chair, facing another empty chair, which would be hosting Enemy Number One, named C. diff. A coach stood near me to hold space and offer support as I went through this painful, albeit healing, process.

“Go ahead and give that C. diff a piece of your mind. Tell it everything, unfiltered, uninhibited by ‘social norms.’ Get angry, yell at it, don’t hold back.”

Huh? Me, Fradel? Yell? Could I do that? I wasn’t sure.

But one thing was clear to me: If there was any chance this would help, I was willing to give it a shot.

TO BE CONTINUED WELLSPRING / KISLEV 5784

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DIY

e h c a d a e H f e i l e R

By Miriam Schweid Here’s a natural intervention to relieve migraine or tension headaches without the use of medication.

In a 1-oz glass bottle, combine: 50 drops olive oil 10 drops peppermint essential oil Massage the blend onto your forehead and the back of your neck for quick relief.

Make sure to avoid contact with eyes.

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Insights from My Daughter

What does it mean to be a strong parent?

OT @ HOME THE INSIDE SECRET OF KISHKE

IF DONUTS AREN’T GOOD FOR ME, CAN I SAY NO? GILA GLASSBERG ON THE INTUITIVE APPROACH TO CHANUKAH AND ALL YEAR

TAP IN

TAP IN

by Gila Glassberg, RDN, CDN, Certified Intuitive Eating Coach

QUESTION

I have a long history of “good” and “bad” days on Chanukah. Many years, I was completely in binge mode, feeling horrible yet inexplicably free. Some years, I tried my hand at preparing “healthy” donuts, but the results left me feeling more deprived than if I hadn’t tried at all. Usually, at such times, I found myself back in binge mode very soon after. Other years, when my intent was solely weight loss, I was the “good girl,” but I felt deprived. Now, I’ve been trying the Intuitive Eating route for some time, and I’m feeling content. If I know from experience that donuts aren’t good for me, does making a choice to not have any contradict with this approach?

ANSWER

Making a choice to not eat a certain food can be healthy or the opposite, depending on what your motive is. As you mentioned in your question, when the intent is solely weight loss, we feel deprived. If we’re making this decision based on our intuitive cues and we want to take good care of ourselves, that’s a different story.

In order to make that differentiation, I would ask you: Do you feel sick after eating donuts? Do you have a hard time stopping after one? If so, is that because you feel restricted? Perhaps you’re experiencing the phenomenon where a person feels so deprived, they want to “stuff” it all in before they’re forced into starvation mode.

Answering these questions requires true self-awareness above all else. If you know your body and you know that donuts don’t make you feel good, then the right thing for you is to say no to these treats. But if you’re demonizing donuts and will feel really guilty after eating one, maybe that’s is a clue that something needs to be worked through here. Food doesn’t have a moral value.

It’s just food. Dieting has created this inner moral struggle around food. Especially on a Yom Tov, food is meant to enhance the atmosphere, not to make you feel scared or guilty.

Personally, I don’t love eating donuts. I don’t feel great after eating fried food and I actually prefer savory over sweet. But sometimes, on Chanukah, they just look really good. Or I’m with someone who’s eating one and I want to join in the fun. The longer I’ve been following the Intuitive Eating approach, the more I can check in with myself. I’m able to think, “If I keep taking more bites, will I feel sick?” I might even take more bites and not feel great but still realize I made a choice to enjoy the donut in the moment, and the discomfort will pass. You know when the discomfort doesn’t pass? When we dwell on it.

But food itself gets digested and we’re able to move on.

Remember, a lot of Intuitive Eating is about your intention. I wish you a lot of food freedom this Chanukah!

Have questions about the Intuitive Eating approach? Send them to info@wellspringmagazine.com and Gila will be glad to answer them in this space.

Gila Glassberg is a Master's level registered dietitian and a certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. As a teenager, she was faced with constant diet talk, body shaming, and obsessive guilt around food, but now that she has found food freedom through the process of Intuitive Eating, she's eager to share its wisdom with others. Gila works privately with clients and she also presents workshops. The name of her podcast is Get INTUIT with Gila, and she writes blog entries on her website, www.gilaglassberg.com. She can be reached at 570-878-3642.

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OT@HOME

e d i s n I e Th f o t e r c Se Kishke

by Miriam Frankel, OTR/L Some children, particularly those with ADHD, may struggle with rigidity and “theory of mind”—the ability to see and understand another’s point of view.

To enable parents to help their child develop these valuable social skills, I created a three-prong approach called the Thrive Kishke Method. In this article, I will describe the first two prongs.

Prong 1

Prong 2

Just like kishke gets its awesome flavor from being deeply immersed in a stew, the Thrive Kishke Method involves connecting deeply to a child’s innermost thoughts and feelings. Parents usually do this naturally, as they talk and connect to their baby’s needs from the earliest age, and the baby grasps that his parents understand his inner feelings.

This is kept short, without emotion.

Depending on the situation, it can be one of four options. Here is one of them.

The Thrive Kishke Method requires the parent to feel and imagine what someone else is thinking and feeling, and really connect to it, even if they don’t agree with it or it doesn’t make sense to them.

We, as the parent, have the ability to think about what our child may be feeling in a particular circumstance, express it in a nonjudgmental and curious tone, and then ask them if we got it right.

This might sound like, “I’m wondering if you really don’t want to do your homework after you’ve just sat through a whole day of school. It’s tiring, boring, and I think you just want to go play or relax. So you just keep trying to push it off, hoping that maybe you’ll be in the mood later or that you won’t need to do it. Did I get that right?”

Through connecting to their innermost thoughts and feelings, they will eventually learn to connect to other’s feelings and points of view.

This prong involves giving your child an awareness of how his actions affect those around him.

The idea is to talk to your child succinctly, without displaying emotion.

For example, “When you always need to win, it makes others feel like the game is unfair, and then they don’t want to play.” Or, “I’m frustrated trying to help you with your homework when you keep finding other things to do.”

The approach of deep connection to the child’s feelings combined with bringing them into awareness of other people’s feelings, will enable the child to open up their heart and mind over time to understanding others.

Miriam (Manela) Frankel OTR/L is a mental health occupational therapist, founder of the online platform ChildrenBloom.com, and The Thrive Group, with offices in Brooklyn and Passaic. ChildrenBloom.com provides toolkits for parents and educators to deal with struggling children. Miriam is the author of The Parent-Child Dance and an international speaker.

Visit ChildrenBloom.com to see Miriam's newest course on ADHD, including many social-emotional skills for parents to help their child develop.

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INNER PARENTING

Unprocessed Emotions Don’t Go Away What Does It Mean to Be a Strong Parent?

By Shiffy Friedman Our kids are our greatest teachers, and the lessons they teach us about ourselves are usually through our interactions with them. But in the following anecdote, my nine-year-old daughter actually taught me a lesson by sharing an observation.

One day last week, my daughter called me into the kitchen. “I want to show you something fascinating!” She stuck her hand into the container-cum-tank that’s housing two goldfish a neighbor won at a carnival but wanted to get rid of (we’re kind like that!). “Watch what happens,” she said. The fish immediately sensed an intruder in their space, and they began darting to and fro. But as soon as my daughter wrapped her hand softly around one of them, it appeared still. “See,” she told me proudly, “When the fish feels my hand around her, she calms down. Look how still she is! I can even pull her out of the water for a few seconds, and she won’t wriggle.

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accurate—the fish, whose emotional world is not especially rich, was probably motionless because it had no space to wiggle—her demonstration impressed upon me an illuminating insight.

As parents, we cannot control our children’s life circumstances—the challenges they’ll face, the people they’ll meet, or the experiences they’ll undergo. Like the fish out of water, there will be times in their life when they’ll feel so alone, confused, and detached. That’s part and parcel of life in this world.

However, there’s one significant area where we can invest our hishtadlus: “Wrapping our hand” around our child and enveloping them with the strength that only we can give them, so that regardless of their circumstances, they will be able to summon up the resilience, tranquility, and equanimity that will carry them through their travels. Especially when we speak of children who exhibit intense emotion, which tends to be the majority of children, this gentle “enveloping” is critical.

What they need in their childhood is a strong parent to “envelop” them as they process their emotion.

When we give this to our child from a very early age, they will eventually tap into their own instinctive ability to regulate their emotions and continue to develop a healthy inner landscape.

So what does it mean to be a strong parent, to be our children’s rock? Now that’s the big question!

It’s the place all of us want to get to—the phenomenon where our children feel safe and secure in our care, ready to brave through their challenges, calm and content despite the circumstances. Before we understand what strength is in the context of parenting, let us first clarify what it is not.

Contrary to misconception, strength is not indifference. It’s not about being disconnected from the circumstance, blocking off our and our child’s emotions when they seem “too much.” In a similar vein, strength is also not about employing military-style parenting, which

does not allow a child to feel that they have the space to be, the space to feel.

Strength is also not about immediately distracting from the emotion, and then considering the technique successful because “Look, the child isn’t crying/ complaining/rebelling anymore.”

Rather, strength is the opposite. In a nutshell, it presents in a two-faceted response: first, recognizing that not only my child is in an emotional experience right now, but as their parent, I am too; and second, thanks to this emotional awareness, I choose to respond to the child’s exhibit of emotion in a way that most benefits my child’s nefesh. It’s actually through this kind of parenting that we are less likely to exhibit intense emotion in our own response, such as rage, threatening, extreme punishment, or revenge.

To be a strong parent is to truly be there for our child davka because we feel so much for them. Because we are able to differentiate between what comes up for us when our child exhibits intense emotion and what our child needs in the current moment, we are able to empathize with them, to understand them. While their display of intense emotion may be very triggering for us—as we’ll explore in this series—as the strong parent, we’re able to make that differentiation between what’s happening for me when my child is crying/ screaming/sulking/ignoring/having a tantrum, and how I’m choosing to respond as the kind and loving presence my child is desperate for. Strength is about noticing that whatever my child is feeling is having an impact on me; it’s requiring me to stretch in ways that may feel uncomfortable— certainly at first. I will therefore pay attention to my own experience in this interaction, and by doing so, I

will have the ability to summon the presence and support this child needs from me right now.

In truth, all of parenting is essentially a journey of avodas hamiddos, refining our traits and emotional states. The kind of strength we describe here can be encapsulated in one word: the middah of hishtavus, equanimity. The imagery I like to use to describe this beautiful middah is that of a placid brook, its water flowing effortlessly in a pleasant rhythm.

There are no crashing waves, no opposing forces waging war with each other. It’s from this middah—which can only be developed with emotional awareness, b’siyatta Dishmaya— that all other emotions flow. When we work toward acquiring this middah, approaches for which will be discussed in this series, we are emulating Hakadosh Baruch Hu, the quintessential Parent who is a constant, steady Presence in our lives.

Having this kind of strength sounds wonderful, right? But the question many parents are left with is, “How do I get there?” The good news is that as parents, we naturally possess the intuitive ability to be that rock for our children, to guide them as their emotional world develops and as they face the common yet sometimes very painful experiences of life. However, for an array of reasons—all of which are rooted in fear—we find it challenging to get in touch with this intuition.

In the following installment, we will illustrate a parent-child scenario and explore one main factor that inhibits us from exhibiting the parental strength we intuitively possess. Together we will continue in our efforts to unblock whatever is holding us back from being the parent we wish to be.

“I Wish I Could Be Stronger!”

So often, when I start working with women on their inner journey, they will say to me, “I wish I could be stronger; everyone around me is so much stronger than I am.” (Surprise, surprise, most women are under the impression that others have a better grip on life than they do.) When I ask them to describe “stronger,” they often communicate a subconscious reverence for being removed from their emotions, an admiration for those who excel at stoicism. This is often an outcome of messages they absorbed earlier on—including what a ba’al bitachon should look like— that are often contrary to Torah hashkafah. Over time, as they start to understand themselves better and draw their own conclusions about their value and depth, they come to realize that true strength is actually the opposite of what they thought it was, and that it’s only through developing our true strength that we can live—not just survive—a radiant life.

If you have any questions or comments on this column, please write to Shiffy@wellspringmagazine.com with Parenting Series in the subject.

In addition to her work as a writer, teacher, and counselor, Shiffy Friedman is the founding director of LAHAV, an initiative that spreads awareness about the pathways to connection, contentment, and inner peace through Torah. To sign up to receive her messages on the topic, please write to info@lahavinitiative.org. To hear more about LAHAV, as well as demos from LAHAV classes, please call the hotline at (646) 693-1700.

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Product of USA

Also Available in Vanilla Available in/the freezer2023 at your local supermarket.

76 WELLSPRING DECEMBER

DECEMBER 2023 / KISLEV 5784 / ISSUE 95

Bring On the Treats WHOLESOME DONUT HOLES WITH PINEAPPLEPASSION SORBET ON THE SIDE

STOCK UP ON HOMEMADE HOT COCOA MIX ENCORE THE PERFECT MENU FOR A LIGHT CHANUKAH NIGHT MY TABLE HOW WE DO PANCAKES ON COZY LONG MORNINGS

TEA TIME 6 HERBAL TEAS AND THEIR BENEFITS

88 Encore

By Shiffy Friedman

90 Tea Time

By Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

81 Chanukah Delights

By Yossi & Malky Levine

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SWAP

By Yossi & Malky Levine

My Table Wellspring contributors

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EDITOR'S NOTE

Dear Cooks,

When the My Table responses came in this month, I was amused to find that once again, we had an almost-consensus. Last month, frozen veggies turned out to be most contributors’ go-to as a quick side.

This month, pancakes are the winners. Hmm…does that mean we need more original questions? We’d love to hear from you, dear readers. Join us at the Table! What are your questions to our contributors about what they serve in their own home?

Speaking of pancakes, they’re actually also my go-to when the kids are out of school. I have recipes that are wholesome and some less so, and I find myself alternating between both. Usually, I’ll go for the healthier version when I’m preparing them as the actual breakfast food, and the less nutritious version when it’s for dessert or a treat. There’s something

about pancakes that conjures up cozy images of family time ’round the kitchen table, or at the window, watching the rain or snow fall. Pair them with a cup of hot cocoa (check out this issue’s SWAP for a homemade version), and those tummies and hearts will be full for a long time.

Of course, on Chanukah, pancakes work as a dinner food too. Whether you want to add them to your grand Chanukah party menu or prepare them for a “quieter” night with just your own family, this issue has more than enough recipes to go around!

And if you prefer a pareve menu, this issue’s Encore will show you how to set up your very own falafel bar, where even the balls are made from scratch.

Happy Chanukah to you all,

Esther

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Product of USA

Every day made better

Chanukah Delights It’s that time of year again! For so many (or is that all?) of us, food takes up a giant space on Chanukah.

We want to treat ourselves and eat the foods in accordance to our minhagim, but we also want to consume the foods that are good for us. While one commercially-prepared or sugar-coated donut never harmed anyone, if you prefer to stick to your healthy fare while still enjoying a Chanukah treat or two, we created these recipes with you in mind.

A freilichen Chanukah, The Levines

Recipes, Styling, and Photography

by Yossi & Malky Levine

CHANUKAH DELIGHTS

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Waffle/ Pancake Donut Holes We used a cake-pop maker (can be purchased on Amazon) to create these adorable waffle balls that are like donut holes sans the deep-frying. That’s what we call a win-win! Get creative with the toppings and glazes.

Waffles

Almond Butter Maple Glaze

1 cup white whole wheat flour

¼ cup almond butter

½ tsp salt

2 Tbsp maple syrup

2 tsp baking powder

2 Tbsp milk/almond milk

¼ tsp stevia 1 egg

Toppings

¾ cup water or milk

Crushed pistachio/pecans

2½ Tbsp oil

Powdered xylitol

½ tsp vanilla extract Oil spray

To make the waffle batter, place dry ingredients in a bowl and mix. In a separate bowl, beat together wet ingredients. Fold wet mixture into dry ingredients and mix until combined well.

Spray cake pop maker with oil so waffle balls slide out easily. Don’t plug in cake-pop maker yet.

Pour mixture into cavities of cake-pop maker, filling them until the top.

Once all cavities have been filled, plug in cake-pop maker.

After about two minutes, open machine and use a small spoon to scoop out the balls.

For the glaze: whisk together almond butter, maple syrup, and milk until fully combined.

Top balls with powdered sweetener, almond maple glaze, and crushed nuts.

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CHANUKAH DELIGHTS

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Pina Colada with PineapplePassion Sorbet I love using Chanukah-themed shapes to add some fun to our menu. The donut-shaped sorbet is a dessert in itself. To make it extra special, place over a glass of chilled pina colada.

Sorbet 4 cups frozen pineapple 1 cup frozen mango 2 cubes frozen passion fruit (or fresh) 1 Tbsp sweetener of your choice (optional) Blend all ingredients in a high-speed blender until creamy. Divide mixture into silicon donut molds and freeze.

Pina Colada 3 cups pineapple juice 1½ cups coconut cream 1½ cups frozen pineapple ¼ cup rum (optional) Add all ingredients to high-speed blender and blend until smooth. Keep refrigerated, then shake up before serving. (Mixture may separate when in the fridge.)

When serving, place donut sorbet over a glass of pina colada. Garnish with shredded coconut and fresh mint.

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SWAP

SWA P

By Yossi & Malky Levine

Homemade hot cocoa is better for you than instant mixes, which are full of sugar, oils, and processed ingredients. By preparing the beverage on your own, you can avoid additives, preservatives, and artificial flavors and enjoy a more natural, wholesome drink.

Cocoa powder in its raw form actually provides a variety of health benefits, but, all too often, it’s combined with sugar and other ingredients that are detrimental to health. Its main claim to health fame is its high content of flavanol/polyphenols, which are naturally occurring antioxidants. Antioxidants have been linked to numerous health benefits including lower blood pressure, improved cholesterol, and reduced inflammation.

In our homemade mix, we use monk fruit as the sweetener, and here’s why.

Some health benefits of monk fruit sweetener: • Zero calories: Monk fruit sugar is a natural sweetener that provides sweetness without the added calories.

• Low glycemic index: It has a minimal impact on blood sugar levels.

• Antioxidant properties: Monk fruit contains antioxidants, which can help combat oxidative stress in the body.

• Dental health: Unlike table sugar, monk fruit sugar does not contribute to tooth decay.

Homemade Hot Chocolate Mix Hot cocoa is the perfect treat for a cold night, paired with snuggles on the couch and a good family schmooze. Think about those Chanukah vacation nights or long Motzaei Shabbosos with your children. Make the experience more special by spending quality time over steaming cups of hot cocoa.

1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder 1¼ cup monk fruit sugar

Whisk together the cocoa powder, sweetener, and cinnamon until well combined and transfer to an airtight container or jar for storage.

¼ tsp cinnamon

Store in a cool, dry place until ready to use.

To prepare a cup of hot chocolate: Add 2 Tbsp hot chocolate mix to a large mug. Add hot water and mix until completely dissolved. Add milk of choice, mix, and enjoy.

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ENCORE

First featured in Issue 34

Thyme for Dinner Recipes and Text

by Shiffy Friedman

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Protein-Packed Gluten-free Falafel Balls With most of our family 6,000 miles away in the States, I’m left with (almost) eight Chanukah menus to plan. One evening last year, when I got stuck on keeping our dinners fun and balanced, the idea of a falafel bar seemed like a great solution. I had never made homemade falafel before and figured this would be the perfect occasion—the frying Yom Tov after all—to test it on my family. For starters, preparing the balls was part of the fun. The process is super simple. And when the spread was all ready, I had such pleasure watching everyone enjoy this original protein source—not another meal of fish or chicken—down to the last ball.

If the thought of frying scares you, I’ve included a baking option, as well. But don’t expect those patties to taste like the balls!

Do not use cooked/ canned chickpeas, as the mixture will be too loose and the falafel won’t hold their shape.

1 16 oz. package garbanzo beans (dried chickpeas)

3 tsp cumin

1 medium onion, diced

2 tsp salt

5 cloves garlic, diced

½ tsp black pepper

½ cup chopped fresh parsley leaves

oil, for frying or baking

½ cup chopped fresh cilantro leaves

Soak beans in a large bowl of water overnight. Make sure the water covers the beans by about 3 inches, since the chickpeas will double in size as they soak, absorbing the water.

Drain and rinse the beans well. Pour them into the food processor, fitted with an S blade, along with the rest of the ingredients.

Pulse all ingredients together until a rough, coarse meal forms. Scrape the sides of the processor periodically and push the mixture down the sides. Don’t over process.

Once the mixture reaches the desired consistency, pour it into a bowl and use a fork to stir; this will make the texture more even throughout. Remove any large chickpea chunks the processor missed.

If you want a more workable batter, cover the bowl and refrigerate for 1-2 hours. If you’re tight on time, you can skip this step, but may have a harder time forming smooth balls or patties.

Tbsp of mixture per falafel. Since the mixture does not contain a binder, you may find it hard to form balls. Don’t worry about this—it’ll bind together nicely once it’s in the oil. Allow to fry for about 2-3 minutes per side and then turn over. Alternatively, fry the balls in a deep fryer or in a 4 qt. pot filled halfway with oil for a perfect round shape.

Once the falafels are fried, remove them from the oil using a slotted spoon. Let them drain on a paper towel before serving.

To bake the patties: Preheat the oven to 375°F and grease a baking sheet olive oil or spray oil.

Squeeze the falafel mixture into 1.5-inch balls then flatten them slightly so they are the shape of patties. Arrange the falafel on the greased baking sheet and brush the tops of them with oil. Bake the falafel for 15 minutes, flip them once, then bake for an additional 10 minutes until they are golden brown.

To fry the balls: Fill a skillet with vegetable oil to a depth of 2 inches. Once the oil is bubbling, form the mixture into balls, about 2

Prep time: 25 minutes (excluding soaking and refrigeration) Yield: 40-50 falafel balls

Fermented Sauerkraut Here’s the recipe we use to make our own sauerkraut. It stays fresh for at least 2 months in the fridge, but it probably won’t last you that long, especially if you use it as a probiotic source on a daily basis.

2 lb. shredded cabbage

1 Tbsp kosher salt

Place cabbage in a large mason jar and sprinkle with salt. Seal and let sit for 5 days. As the cabbage releases its liquid, it will become more limp and compact, and the liquid will rise over the top of the cabbage. Shake the jar occasionally to ensure that all of the cabbage is submerged in the liquid. After 5 days, transfer the sauerkraut to the refrigerator.

Lab tests have found that a 4-6 ounce serving of sauerkraut contains approximately 10 trillion healthy bacteria.

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TIDBITS

TEA TIME PART II

6 herbal teas and their benefits Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD 90

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While relaxing with a hot tea encourages us to slow down, unwind, and reset from our day, an incredible added benefit is its health-boosting properties. Let’s explore some.

Chamomile Tea

Peppermint Tea

Chamomile is an herb from the plant family that includes daisies and sunflowers. This beautiful plant can even grow up to three feet high. Most commonly known for its calming effects, chamomile tea is often a drink of choice before bedtime. Additional research suggests that chamomile may contain antibacterial properties as well as anti-inflammatory and liver-protecting effects.

Peppermint tea is famously used to help ease gastrointestinal symptoms, including indigestion, stomach pain, and nausea.

Further possible benefits of peppermint tea are its antioxidant, antibacterial, antiviral and anticancer properties, which may be due to menthone, limonene, and menthol compounds within the peppermint leaves. On a practical level, studies have also shown that peppermint tea helps freshen one’s breath and alleviate tension headaches.

Ginger Tea

Hibiscus Tea

A common go-to for those experiencing morning sickness, ginger tea is popularly used as a solution for nausea and other digestion discomforts. There is evidence that thanks to its gingerol component, ginger may help with indigestion and prevent stomach ulcers as well.

Of the hundreds of species of hibiscus, the most popular one for tea is Hibiscus sabdariffa. One of the notable benefits of this herbal tea is its impact on heart health. Many studies have shown that hibiscus tea may lower blood pressure, while others have found that this tea can decrease LDL (bad) cholesterol and triglyceride levels. However, as always, it is recommended to speak with your doctor first as it may interact with other medications (such as diuretics).

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TIDBITS

Turmeric Tea Curcumin is the main ingredient within turmeric, and this component has strong anti-inflammatory effects. Additional benefits of this beautiful golden tea may include relief of joint pain/arthritis, more regulated blood sugar levels, liver protection, and improved immune function.

Micronutrient Deficiencies May Affect the Outcome of IBD Patients The world of gastrointestinal conditions is vast and complicated, with many different components. Individuals with irritable bowel disease (IBD) and other gastrointestinal conditions may be at greater risk of micronutrient deficiencies because of the often-decreased ability to properly digest food and absorb micronutrients.

According to research, a focus on preventing selenium and zinc deficiencies—particularly within IBD patients—may help improve outcomes and minimize the complications that can arise from micronutrient deficiencies.

Dandelion Tea Perhaps less popular than the previous teas on the list, dandelion tea has a plethora of health benefits. However, due to the potency of its ingredients, be sure to consult your physician first to make sure this drink is appropriate for you. Women who are pregnant or nursing should avoid dandelion tea. This tea is rich in vitamin A, which is helpful for the eyes, and vitamin K, which is a key component for maintaining bone health. It may also contain diuretic properties, which is why it is often associated with and marketed as a “detox” tea.

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD, is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Self-Care Enthusiast on a mission to help women reach their ultimate health and wellbeing potential inside and out. She shares credible, clear, and inspiring nutrition information with women via her virtual private practice. To contact Esti with feedback or inquiries regarding her nutritional services, please email her at: esti@ estiashernutrition.com or visit estiashernutrition.com.

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A study analyzed the relationship between each micronutrient and markers of disease activity/ clinical outcomes. Investigators in the United Kingdom who were part of the Department of Gastroenterology at Queen Elizabeth University Hospital collected clinical data from the records of 216 patients with IBD. The most common deficiencies within the analyzed cohort included vitamin C, ferritin, folate, and zinc.

Ultimately, the researchers suggest that zinc and selenium supplementation may be used to improve disease outcomes; specifically, zinc for Crohn’s disease, and selenium for ulcerative colitis.

Drinking Fermented Tea May Help with Blood Sugar Control The gut microbiome has become a very popular area of study: research has shown that the gut microbiome affects the body in many ways, including food digestion, the immune system, the central nervous system, and mood. A recent study suggests that there may also be a connection between the gut microbiome and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms.

After analyzing a group of 191 women, researchers found that individuals who had less adherence to a Mediterranean diet pattern also had higher PTSD symptom levels. Specific species within the microbiome that were noted as being helpful were Eubacterium eligens and Akkermansia muciniphila.

A typical Mediterranean diet pattern includes a variety of fruits, vegetables, legumes, nuts, and whole grains, in addition to moderate amounts of dairy, poultry, eggs, and fish. Moreover, a few of the better known benefits of the Mediterranean diet include increased heart health, cognitive function, and healthy aging.

While more research is needed to further study the potential connection between this diet and PTSD symptoms, there is a lot to gain by following the Mediterranean diet and improving one’s gut microbiome.

Silan Muffins with Pecan Crumb Topping

BY SINA MIZRAHI | YIELDS 10 STANDARD SIZE MUFFINS

I love the earthiness silan adds to these deliciously moist not-too-sweet muffins.

Don’t skip the crumb topping, it adds that perfect sweet nuttiness and texture.

Enjoy with a steaming cup of tea or coffee and you have the perfect pick-me-up.

INGREDIENTS FOR TOPPING

2/3 1/3 1 1/2 1 1/4

cup all purpose flour cup brown sugar teaspoon cinnamon cup chopped roasted pecans tablespoon Heaven & Earth Date Syrup (silan) cup oil

INGREDIENTS FOR TOPPING 2 1/2 1/2 1/2 1/2 1/4 2 1 1 1 1/4

XL eggs cup neutral-flavored oil cup Heaven & Earth Date Syrup (silan) cup brown sugar cup applesauce cup non-dairy milk, orange juice, or water cups all purpose flour teaspoon cinnamon (or pumpkin spice mix) teaspoon baking powder teaspoon baking soda teaspoon salt

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 425°F. Spray a muffin pan with nonstick spray or line with muffin liners.

2. Make the crumb topping. In a medium bowl, combine flour, pecans, brown sugar, silan, and cinnamon. Add oil and massage until crumbly. Do not overmix.

3. Make the muffins. In a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat eggs. Add oil, silan, sugar, applesauce, and milk.

Mix on low speed until emulsified. Add flour, cinnamon, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Beat until no streaks of flour remain.

4. Spoon batter into pan’s cavities, filling all the way up. Top generously with crumb mixture. Transfer pan to the middle rack and bake for five minutes at 425°F. Reduce heat to 350°F and bake an additional 15 to 18 minutes. Cool over a cooling rack. Enjoy with a steaming cup of tea or coffee.

For more great recipes visit

In the pages of Wellspring, we share expert advice from some of the community’s most popular and competent dietitians and nutritionists. In this column, you get to see how they practice what they preach in their own kitchens. Pull up a chair at “My Table” and join the chat.

THIS MONTH

NOT JUST THE NIGHTS During Chanukah vacation, how do you make brunch more special for the kids?

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O I On Chanukah and all year round, our family favorite is the protein pancake recipe from my cookbook, Secrets of Skinny Cooking. It’s delicious and filling!

Bina Gottdiener, CN, CHC

Shani Taub, CDC

Compiled by Shiffy Friedman

I try to make pancakes for my kids all year round as they love a hot fresh breakfast. I use Renee Muller’s pancake recipe from Our Table, and I replace the organic sugar with silan (less expensive than honey, and safe for babies under one). During regular school days, I prep the batter beforehand (it lasts about a week) and fry fresh. On Chanukah, my kids get to stay in their pajamas and help with the pouring, mixing, frying, and flipping. To make it more exciting, I use dye-free sprinkles and white chocolate chips. Can’t wait!

Here’s the waffle recipe we usually use (and we’ve tried a few!): 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 tsp salt 4 tsp baking powder 2 Tbsp white sugar 2 eggs 1½ cups warm milk ⅓ cup butter, melted 1 tsp vanilla extract In a large bowl, mix flour, salt, baking powder, and sugar, and set aside. Preheat waffle iron to desired temperature. In a separate bowl, beat the eggs. Stir in the milk, butter, and vanilla. Pour milk mixture into flour mixture; beat until blended. Ladle batter into a preheated waffle iron.

Cook waffles until golden and crisp.

(Source: allrecipes.com.)

H

Here’s a family favorite.

Oatmeal Pancakes ½ cup oatmeal

½ cup cottage cheese (no added salt) ¼–½ tsp baking powder low sodium 1 tsp vanilla extract Dash cinnamon 4 egg whites 1–2 pkg stevia, optional Chocolate chips or blueberries (optional) Directions: Place oats in a small blender/ food processor, and pulse to achieve consistency of coarse flour. Add remaining ingredients and blend until smooth and uniform, stopping and stirring if needed.

Bring a skillet sprayed with nonstick spray to medium heat.

Add half the batter (about ½ cup) to form a large pancake. Cook until pancake begins to bubble and is solid enough to flip, about 2–3 minutes. Gently flip and cook until both sides are lightly browned and inside is cooked through, about 1–2 minutes.

Transfer pancake to a plate.

Remove skillet from heat, respray, and return to medium heat. Repeat with remaining batter to make a second pancake.

Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC

Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

W

With Chanukah comes the opportunity for special, fun, and delicious memories! I love using my waffle maker, and a special Chanukah brunch is an opportune time to make use of the gadget. Typically, my kids (or some of them at least!) like eating homemade waffles with cottage cheese on top and a side of fruit, but you can also create a more elaborate spread with waffle toppings (or sides) such as Greek yogurt, whipped cream, and fresh, frozen, or dried fruit including berries, bananas, or cut-up grapes.

I usually save the sweeter additions like chocolate chips, chocolate lentils, and sprinkles for our donut frying and decorating activity after candle lighting on one or two nights of Chanukah.

O

On Chanukah, elevating the mundane with just a little spin is exciting.

I have a miniChanukah waffle maker I purchased at Target for ten dollars. I use it with any pancake or waffle batter.

Another fun change-up I love is to prepare sunnyside up eggs in a dreidel shape cookie cutter in the Betty Crocker pizza maker. Simply heat the Betty, place the cookie cutter in the center, and pour egg batter inside the cavity. The result will be a sunny-side up in the shape of a dreidel.

We also prepare eggs in this fun way within a slice of bread: Use any Chanukah-themed cookie cutter to form a hollow shape at the center of the slice. Place the bread in the Betty Crocker or frying pan. Place cracked egg into the cutout.

Cook until ready.

Serve and watch your children smile!

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Oatmeal Waffles ¾ cup old-fashioned oats, cooked with water and 2 Tbsp oil 1½ cups whole wheat flour Pinch of salt 4 Tbsp sugar substitute 1½ cups almond milk 2 eggs 2 Tbsp sugar-free chocolate syrup or ¼ cup blueberries (optional) Instructions: Combine cooked oats with rest of ingredients, mixing gently. Do not overmix.

Pour approximately 2 tablespoons of batter onto griddle, and allow to heat for about two minutes or until desired doneness.

Repeat with remaining batter until entire batter is used.

Makes 12 small waffles.

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I

I love the cottage cheese pancake recipe from Tanya Rosen that I clipped from Wellspring. I use two whole eggs instead of one whole egg plus an egg white. I also add a banana to the recipe. I love to add in some freeze-dried strawberries or blueberries because frozen or fresh get very watery. I personally don’t like chocolate (I know—how can that be?) and neither does my husband. I like to add all sorts of fun chips, like caramel, peanut butter, and cappuccino. It’s delicious for Chanukah and all year round!

I rarely fry, except for on Chanukah. I’m not against frying but I simply find it extremely annoying. I don’t really feel great after eating fried food either. But on Chanukah, oh do we fry! We make lots of latkes, which are an all-time favorite. We’ve also attempted to fry Oreos—they were so good. Next, we’ll be frying pickles :) Chanukah can be so much fun! The most important thing to serve to our children on Chanukah is love, comfort, calmness, and happiness around food and traditions.

Dr. Rachael Teichberg

Gila Glassberg, RDN, Intuitive Eating Coach

Tanya Rosen

A

A lot of people find Chanukah a tough time to stick to a healthy lifestyle. Most Chanukah parties are at night, so it’s a good idea to at least focus on making healthy choices during the day.

If the kids are home or you’re extra busy with preparations, this will take some advance prep, but it should be manageable. Here’s one wholesome and delicious brunch idea that can keep the family satisfied.

M

My kids love to eat my silverdollar healthy pancakes.

Ingredients below are per serving (you can adjust the recipe to however many servings you need).

2 eggs Dash of salt Cinnamon 1 Tbsp almond butter 2 Tbsp any flour or oats Dash of vanilla Mix all ingredients. In a heated frying pan sprayed with avocado oil or any oil spray, drop batter in small or omelet-sized circles. They taste delicious, are very filling, and low calorie to boot!

Pancakes for the win!

—Esther

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HOLISTIC

C I T S I L O H Understanding GERD (Part I)

Tamar Feldman RDN CDCES

Women’s Health

In my practice, I meet new clients almost daily who are on a proton pump inhibitor (PPI) or an H2 blocker medication to control reflux symptoms. Reflux (or GERD, gastroesophageal reflux disease, also known as heartburn) affects a whopping 25–35 percent of the US population, and acid-blocking medications such as PPIs (Prilosec®) and H2 blockers (Zantac®, Pepcid®) are the third top-selling type of drug in America today.

Unfortunately for many, while antacid use may provide quick relief, it likely does more harm than good. Antacids (particularly PPIs) have well-known serious downsides, including an increased risk of developing osteoporosis and fractures, GI infections, and pneumonia.

When acid-blocking drugs first came on the market, the pharmaceutical companies told doctors to prescribe them for no longer than six weeks and only for patients with documented ulcers. Now these drugs are given like candy to just about anyone—and Prilosec is even available without a prescription. Their manufacturers have created the illusion that we can eat whatever we want with no consequences, just by popping a pill. The question begs to be asked: Are millions of us born with a genetic defect that makes us produce too much stomach acid?

Obviously, our bodies were not designed to have an inherent flaw that requires the use of powerful acid-blocking drugs to prevent heartburn and reflux. While the pharmaceutical companies would rather you not know otherwise, stomach acid serves a vital role in the digestive process, which is why it is present in the stomach to begin with.

Stomach acid is necessary to digest protein and food, activate digestive enzymes in your small intestine, keep the bacteria from growing in your small intestine (SIBO), and help you absorb important nutrients like calcium, magnesium, and vitamin B12. There’s evidence that taking these medications can prevent you from properly digesting food, cause vitamin and mineral deficiencies, and lead to problems like IBS, depression, hip fractures, and more.

Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE, is a dietitian whose mission is to improve lives by empowering individuals to use nutrition to improve their gut health and hormone balance. She is a recognized expert on IBS/SIBO and has developed the Gut Dietitian training protocols on IBS and IBD for Registered Dietitian education. She writes, lectures, and counsels extensively on IBD, IBS, PCOS/fertility, and thyroid health, and is the founder of the gutdietitian.com virtual practice and co-founder of the Belly app.

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Shaindy Oberlander, INHC

Physical Health

Is Your Plan Too Rigid?

For most people, weight loss is a very, very hard struggle. And so, many look for quick fixes in an effort to reach their goal. People who get desperate to lose weight for a particular occasion may take drastic measures in their attempt to drop the pounds, and fast. But our own experiences keep showing us that drastic measures are not realistic and will lead to failure very fast.

A juicing diet, a cleansing diet, or a zero-carb diet is a recipe for disaster. And a busy wife and mother who has lots on her plate cannot possibly sustain this sort of lifestyle.

In my practice, I often refer to the 4 “R”s as our benchmark for a plan that works: Don’t be too rigid, as you will become resentful. Be reasonable and you will feel respected. Taking drastic measures will not give you long-term success. You cannot lose 20 pounds without losing 1 pound first. True, a balanced, less restrictive food plan might result in slower weight loss, but these results will be more sustainable. And most important of all, it will enable you to enjoy the journey.

Love the process and you will love your results!

Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC, a graduate from Mercy College and IIN, runs her functional medicine–based nutrition practice in Toms River, New Jersey, and virtually. Shaindy has tracks for teens, nursing and pregnant mothers, and women peri/post menopause, and tracks for women suffering from hormonal issues. She can be reached at 212.470.7660 or via her website at www.benefithealthprogram.com.

We’re Just Not the Same

Shiffy Friedman

Spiritual Health

When we light the menorah on Chanukah, we commemorate the miracle that led to our freedom from galus Yavan, which is compared to choshech, darkness. As the Midrash famously teaches (Bereishis Rabbah 2:4), darkness refers to galus Yavan because the Greeks darkened the eyes of the Yidden through their decrees.

Let’s understand how Yavan cunningly dimmed the eyes of Klal Yisrael and how we can ensure that their perilous message doesn’t enter our midst even today. The Bnei Yisaschar teaches that we learn their strategy from the halachah that requires us to light the candles at the time of “ad shetichleh regel min hashuk,” when the foot traffic in the marketplace comes to an end. Aside from conveying the time of day—evening—this dictate reveals Yavan’s tactic: they wanted the Yidden to buy into the idea that we’re a nation just like any other, that our fate is determined by nature. You need to make a livelihood? Go sell your wares in the marketplace. You want to be healthy? Do your exercise, take your medication, maintain a nutritious diet. They wanted the Yidden to believe that only the rules of nature dictate their lives.

What was the “remedy” for this dangerous message? A miracle. But not just any miracle.

Rather, one that the entire world would see and marvel at. Pirsumei nisa is the cure. No, was Hakadosh Baruch Hu’s message to us, whose eyes had been darkened by the false message Yavan was desperate for us to believe. Your fate is not determined by teva. True, I conceal My miracles through teva, but don’t ever forget that you are above it all. Don’t ever stop believing in miracles.

In order for emunah to manifest, Hashem hides in teva. So yes, we want to do what we can as our hishtadlus toward our health (like reading Wellspring!). But at the same time, we won’t ever stop believing in miracles. We won’t ever forget that as Yidden, our capacity goes above and beyond nature. As beloved children of Hashem, He can do anything that defies logic, anything that defies the laws of medicine, economics, common sense, and the like, to bring about the salvation we seek.

May the inspiration from this piece be a zechus for the miraculous refuah of a dear talmidah.

In addition to her work as a writer, teacher, and counselor, Mrs. Shiffy Friedman is the founding director of LAHAV, an initiative that spreads awareness about the pathways to connection, contentment, and inner peace through Torah. To receive her free thought-provoking messages on the topic or to learn more about LAHAV, please write to info@lahavinitiative.org. Shiffy is currently teaching an 8-week series based on Chovos Halevavos, Steps to Serenity, on the Nishmoseinu hotline at 718-759-1111. She is also teaching a 14-part series on Mesillas Yesharim, Journey Inward, on Inspire by Wire at 718-906-6451.

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Heart.Works X Popartstudio

I think i can, i think i can.

Discover a perfectly balanced combo of premium tuna with vegetables.

Neatly encased and convenient to pack along for a swift school snack, desk lunch, or an in-flight meal. True to our ethos, these wholesome portions offer a notably healthier alternative.

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Quinoa 4 Grains