Wellspring Issue #97 by The Wellspring

Fitness How Grocery Shopping Can Become Your Next Workout

FEBRUARY 2024 // ADAR I 5784 // ISSUE 97

Ask Laura Shammah

Dinner in 30

2 fabulous additions to your supper rotation

Should my overweight 10-year-old be seeing a nutritionist?

FYI

Treating constipation

Double Chocolate Chip Cookies

Same Old, Same Old, or Change Things Up?

The secret to their perfectly chewy texture stays between us

Join the My Table conversation

Is Herbal Tea Medicine?

20 Samples sip their way through a tranquilizing trial

Cup of Tea

Through biofeedback, Dr. Rachael Schindler facilitates healing of all kinds

Medical Saga

Leaving my newborn son in the care of a friend, I returned to the hospital for treatment PSA

The culprit behind my painful nursing stint

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What Does She Need Most? 5 common parenting responses to your child’s emotions—and choosing the right one

Basmati, Jasmine, Sushi, and More 6 rice types and their nutritional benefits

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How to lead a healthy lifestyle without straining the coffers DIY

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COPY & RESEARCH

Editor In Chief Shiffy Friedman Deputy Editor Libby Silberman Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Bashy Halberstam, INHC Shaindy Oberlander, INHC Shira Savit, MA, MHC, CHC Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC

Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC Esther Fried, PFC Child Development Advisory Board Friedy Singer, OTR/L Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L Coordinating Editor Liba Solomon, CNWC Feature Editors Rochel Gordon • Rikki Samson

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The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.

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CONTENTS

FEBRUARY 2024 ADAR I 5784 ISSUE 97 Our next issue will appear on Wednesday, March 20th iy"H.

28 44

WELL INFORMED 14

Springboard

Spiritual Eating

Health Updates

LIVING WELL 28

Fitness

Ask the Nutritionist

FYI

Community

Medical Saga

Sample

Cup of Tea

Serial Diary

60 DIY

60 69

SEASONED 10

WELLSPRING / FEBRUARY 2024

WELLBEING 62

Tap In

Inner Parenting

FAREWELL 90 Holistic Torah Wellspring will return next month.

Torah Wellspring will return next month.

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EDITOR'S NOTE

Being Time

’m sitting down now to write my words to you in this space, mentally reviewing the content of this issue. Do I have something insightful to contribute regarding tooth grinding? Constipation? Biofeedback? Perhaps, but I feel drawn to reentering last month’s conversation on self-care, especially because I’ve been in that mode this week. With all the sniffles and shivers, if I liked tea (a years’ long aversion that probably dates back to the one time I was forced to give it a try!) this would have been the week for me to have gone through boxes and boxes of it, as per Libby Silberman’s recommendation in this issue’s Sample. While the research done by our Samples indicates that tea leaves themselves don’t necessarily hold the secret to healing, drinking this warm beverage certainly facilitates relaxation, clears up congestion, and promotes hydration. As some Samples reported, even if sipping the drink just gives us a reason to sit and be for ten minutes or so, that alone is conducive to healing. Giving ourselves space and permission to just be is healing in its own right. It sends a message to our internal self, “You deserve this care.” Which brings us back to our self-care conversation. Last month, we talked about the importance of self-care—the healthy variety. At the end of my letter, I put out a call for ideas from you, dear readers, and it’s been beautiful to hear from some of you with your insights. One reader shared that her self-care is music, listening to soothing or invigorating songs even while she’s getting things done. She wrote that when her kids come home from school, they always want to listen to kid-friendly stories or songs, and when she’s not in the mood for that, she listens to her own preferred genres with earphones while they enjoy their entertainment.

Other ideas readers shared were journaling, changing up essential oil aromas in the diffuser, a soothing bath, and a quick nap just before the second part of the day begins.

ow appropriate that this was the theme in my inbox while I was in my fuzzy slippers and chunky sweater, giving myself the care I needed when my body was asking me to slow down. This break comes at just the right time as this past Monday I’ve completed presenting another cycle of Project Kindle, the Torah-sourced program on emotional wellbeing that I teach several times per year. Every time I present the course again, I’m amazed at how invigorated I feel by the work I do—but also at how consuming it is. Because we explore deep concepts pertaining to the nefesh, and I invite the participants to ask their questions and share their feedback, I become profoundly involved in the lives of so many incredible women during the eight-week program. Being with them on their journey is at once exhilarating and rewarding and intense. With gratitude to Hashem for being up to this point and witnessing the growth and healing of so many, I take a deep breath and enjoy “just” being. I invite you to take the time in this extended winter to “just” be, as well. While we may believe that the ideal setting for that is on a picturesque beach or in a lush garden, we can give ourselves this gift today, even in our own home. What a giant step toward promoting better health in all areas.

n a m d e i r F y f f i h S

WELL- PUT Presence, in general, is not an easy state to achieve. It requires that we allow various feelings to surface and that we pay more attention to our inner space.

Gila Glassberg, Tap In WELLSPRING / ADAR I 5784

SPRINGBOARD

On Proteins, Motherhood, Arthritis, and More

Time to Let Go Issue #96: Ask Shani Taub

The question raised in last issue’s Ask the Nutritionist brings to light a misconception that too many adults have regarding protein intake. I was very happy to see this issue being addressed in the magazine, as it is something that comes up often in my practice, and I’m sure many mothers are concerned about it when they really don’t need to be. Probably 14

WELLSPRING / FEBRUARY 2024

passed down from generation to generation, we subscribe to the belief that only animal protein is “the real deal,” and everything else is just a filler, but this is completely unfounded. It’s true that a slice of lean meat or salmon is a great highprotein source, but let’s not forget that there are others as well. In fact, proteins derived from plants and other non-animal foods are often more “live” and less tampered with, and the more foods are in their natural state, the more dense they

are. This is not only with amino acids (protein) but also with many other nutrients. So if your child prefers a bag of nuts or a nut-butter sandwich or even chickpeas in a cup for supper, rest assured that he’s getting his fair share of nutrients to carry him through the night and help him grow. There is also a variety of foods that don’t feel so “dinner-like,” like Greek yogurt, that are great nutrient sources, as well. What’s most important is to let our kids make choices that work for them. Focusing

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Quick Question

SPRINGBOARD

Question: My son, who has Crohn’s disease, is taking Entyvio infusions to help reduce inflammation. I’m wondering why he’s still experiencing pain and some bleeding.

Answer: There are cases where anti-inflammatory medication for ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s disease is enough to offer pain relief and inflammatory reduction, but most often, specific changes in the diet are also required in order for the patient to experience more substantial results. Discuss with your child’s gastroenterologist or nutritionist which foods should be avoided. In general, foods that are high in fiber, dairy, and raw fruits and vegetables are more difficult to digest. Digestive enzymes and probiotic supplements are helpful, as well as juices such as aloe. Stress is another factor to be considered, especially if the patient is upset by their condition or diet. The practitioner can help your child by explaining all of this in a calm, positive manner. Creating a more stress-free home environment and working on our own stress regarding the condition can go really far in helping a child heal. Refuah sheleimah to your son! Take care, Miriam Schweid, Kinesiologist and Health Consultant

on creating positive experiences around eating will probably, with the help of Hashem, yield higher chances that they will opt for their own healthier choices growing up. Minka Trenk, RDN

Becoming Mommy Issue #95: Cup of Tea

I read the interview with lactation consultant Raizy Janklowicz with much interest. I very much related to the young mother that she was, feeling so lost and incompetent. It gladdened my heart to hear about the important work she’s doing for the klal to help mothers become Mommy. What a service you are doing for the community in highlighting such 16

WELLSPRING / FEBRUARY 2024

PSA

An End to Painful Nursing Until a few weeks ago, I was suffering from vasospasms while nursing my baby, a very painful condition that makes it almost impossible to nurse. I consulted with a lactation specialist who guided me to a better position while nursing and latching, but that didn’t help much. After consulting with a health coach, I learned of some possible culprits for the condition: overconsumption of caffeine, spicy foods, and stress. She recommended staying away from these foods, as well as homeopathic arsenicum, Bach flower remedies, and warm compresses. Within days, my condition was relieved. I can be contacted via Wellspring. Name withheld upon request

aspects of health that many don’t know they can be helped with! When I was that young mother, struggling in the dark, I just thought to myself, “Too bad, this is how it

must be for everyone…” I was baruch Hashem zocheh to my own shlichim who helped me learn otherwise, but it’s so important for all women to know that they must not and should

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SPRINGBOARD

Reflexology for Arthritis

PSA

Issue #96: FYI

Weaning off My CPAP Machine For many years, I’ve been suffering from sleep apnea and required the intervention of a CPAP (breathing facilitator) during my sleep. Even after I underwent the sleeving procedure, I still experienced heavy breathing in my sleep and required the machine to sleep through the night. Recently, I consulted with a kinesiologist about the matter and was placed on a strict anti-reflux diet. Finally, for the first time in years, I am slowly weaning off the machine. It’s a new life! I can be contacted via Wellspring. Name withheld upon request

not suffer in silence. By reading such articles, you’re switching on a light for so many, providing insights and chizuk that are critical to the building of healthy homes.

May you experience much continued siyata diShmaya.

As a sufferer of arthritis for almost two decades now, I’d like to share with your readers what has worked for me. I’ve had bouts where the pain was more unbearable than usual, often related to emotional stuff I was experiencing, and I’ve found a lot of relief in reflexology. I often say that even just giving myself that hour at the reflexologist, relaxing on the bed and listening to calm music, probably does so much to simply relax my body and calm my nerves. But the actual process itself has also helped me sleep better and feel better. Wishing a refuah sheleimah to all,

Name Withheld upon Request

Get in touch! Wellspring invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@wellspringmagazine.com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.

WELLSPRING / FEBRUARY 2024

P. Landau

Boro Park Primary Care No Long Waits Walk-ins welcome

Internal Medicine Health from the inside out

Sharon D Kheradnam, M Adina Mizrahi, DNP

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SPIRITUAL EATING By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

Willingness vs. Willpower “Take from yourselves a portion for Hashem, everyone whose heart motivates him shall bring it…” (Shemos 35: 5).

This pasuk, which instructs the Yidden to donate the necessary raw materials for the construction of the Mishkan, raises several questions. First, were the people commanded to bring a contribution only if their hearts were motivated? And if they were not so inclined, were they exempt from the obligation?

and we want it now!

Also, why does the verse start with the phrase, “Take from yourselves,” which seems both grammatically awkward and conceptually inaccurate? Shouldn’t it be “Take a portion for the Mishkan” or “Take a portion for Hashem?”

Why? Because our self-will—our willpower—is still in the driver’s seat. We really want the result, but we’re not ready to really change our lives. We’re not ready to take from ourselves—to sacrifice that which we hold so dear, in order to effect real and lasting change. Are we really willing to give up comfort eating once and for all, to learn new coping skills and ways to deal with challenges without the easy fix of food?

And if the purpose is to teach that the process of giving is really for our benefit, perhaps a cleaner reading would be, “Take for yourselves,” not “Take from yourselves.” The Ohr Hachaim’s commentary on this pasuk provides all the clarity we seek. Hashem, he explains, does not need our contributions, and our value is not determined by the intrinsic value of the gifts we give, whether they are gold, silver, copper, or turquoise. Rather, we are held to the standard of intent: What’s our motivation? What’s bringing us to this place, not just what are we bringing to this place. What are we willing to take from ourselves for the sake of connecting to Hashem—what are we truly willing to sacrifice in order to seed, nurture, and blossom this most important relationship? This is a critical lesson in self-growth and personal change. Many of us exert a tremendous amount of willpower to get what we want, do what we want, or eat what we want. We want what we want,

And even when we decide we want to change—we want to lose weight or eat healthfully—we find ourselves investing a great deal of willpower, often for little return. We end up failing, returning to old behaviors and bad habits. We’re filled with frustration and remorse.

Are we willing to learn to train our body to learn to be satisfied with the appropriate amounts of food, even though we’d like to continue eating simply because it tastes good? It’s time to change our approach: to drop the willpower and pick up the willingness: the willingness to truly sacrifice that which we’re used to and what has always comforted us. We must have the willingness to do that which is uncomfortable, to adopt new behaviors and take the first disorienting steps of change. We need this willingness to walk through our fears. What awaits us if we do? A healthy body, a healthy mind, and a healthy neshamah—the wonderfully sweet taste of integrity, accomplishment, and true satisfaction. Nothing tastes as good as feeling good feels.

Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS, is the founder and director of Soveya and the author of the best-selling book Enough Is Enough—How the Soveya Solution Is Revolutionizing the Diet and Weight-Loss World, available on Amazon and at Barnes & Nobles and Judaica Plaza in Lakewood. He has worked with thousands of clients around the world and has maintained a 130-pound weight loss for the last 19 years. For more information about Soveya’s programs call 732-578-8800, email info@soveya.com, or visit www. soveya.com.

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UPDATES By Bayla Brooks

Get Those Sneakers Out Benefits of running in the cold outweigh those of warm-weather running Winter weather may make us want to stay cozy on the couch, curled up with a warm tea. Who’s thinking about going running in this weather, anyway? But new research indicates that chilly winter workouts provide benefits that summer exercise does not. Running is a great cardiovascular exercise. You’re using just about every leg muscle as well as swinging the arms, so while it isn’t necessarily a total body workout, it’s pretty close. You’ll certainly get those cardiovascular benefits from running in hot or cold weather, but the process the body goes through to maintain its temperature in cold weather is even more beneficial to you. Here’s why. Thermogenesis is the process through which the body produces and maintains heat in cold temperatures by producing “brown fat,” which helps to burn calories. In response to the cold, the body generates more of this kind of fat, which makes the workout so much more effective. There’s also less need for the body’s cooling mechanism in cold weather, which helps boost the flow of blood. In addition, hot weather can cause greater exertion and strain— which comes as no surprise to anyone who goes for runs in scorching temperatures. In warm temperatures, sweat serves as a cooling mechanism, and the sweating process transports blood from the central body to the extremities. However, in cooler weather, it isn’t necessary for the body to send as much blood volume to the skin and extremities, so a larger blood volume remains available. This enables one to run at about the same running pace, but with a lower heart rate. Cold weather does make the body feel stiff and tight, so 22

WELLSPRING / FEBRUARY 2024

it’s a good idea to engage in a dynamic warmup before a run. From there, it’s important to layer properly because the body tends to be cold in the beginning, and then as it warms up, some of those layers can be removed. It’s recommended to dress for about 15 to 20 degrees warmer than the actual temperature because the body will warm up by about that much during the run. Although sweat is generally less of an issue in cold weather, it’s still a factor—so experts recommend wearing not just layers but also moisture-wicking materials that transfer sweat away from the body. When materials like cotton or wool get wet and are close to the body, they cool off the body, which is great in hot temperatures but less so in the cold. The extremities—fingers, toes, ears, and nose—are areas to be mindful of, as they can get very cold if left uncovered. Breathing in the cold air can be harsh on the lungs and can induce an almost-asthmatic state, so wearing some type of coverage over the nose or mouth to pre-warm the air before it enters the lungs is recommended. If subzero jogging sounds too daunting, it’s good to remember that a run in more temperate conditions or even indoors still carries many benefits when it comes to overall health. It’s also a good idea to build up slowly and avoid taxing the body too much too soon. Just getting outside as much as possible can promote the feel-good chemicals of endorphins and serotonin, so it’s good to promote exercise of any type during the winter months, whether running or walking. So during the time that’s still left of this long winter season, tie up those running shoes and enjoy the fresh air!

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UPDATES

Too Good to Be True? Being overly optimistic may cause more harm than good Being optimistic is certainly a virtue. But can it be in excess too? While positive thinking and optimism are often associated with success in life, a new study suggests that overdone optimism frequently leads to poor decision-making and inevitable disappointment.

ture, and pessimists who overestimate the likelihood of bad things happening. Both pessimism and exaggerated optimism may cloud one’s view of likely outcomes, with the former being overly negative and the latter being overly positive.

The study suggests that what researchers call “optimism bias,” a form of exaggerated optimism, leads people to anticipate more positive outcomes than they should reasonably expect in business planning and other life events.

The tendency of overly optimistic people to feel more pain when experiencing losses than pleasure from equal gains suggests that overdone optimism makes it even harder to cope with negative outcomes. That is, people who expect too much are inevitably disappointed, and this disappointment can be supremely painful.

Over thirty thousand participants in the study responded on multiple occasions to questions regarding a wide range of topics, including labor market activity and household dynamics, as well as their personality, attitudes, and opinions. The cognitive ability of respondents was based on measurements of various cognitive skills, including verbal fluency, memory, numerical reasoning, and fluid reasoning. The results showed that the participants with a lower cognition were more likely to be overly optimistic about their future. Exaggerated optimism causes people to risk taking things lightly and not measure consequences. Then, when things don’t go well, they see it as due to bad luck—which also means they don’t take responsibility. This is in comparison to realists who make accurate assessments of the fu24

WELLSPRING / FEBRUARY 2024

Of course, healthy positive thinking is the way to go. It provides motivation and a general sense of contentment. However, when taken to an unhealthy extreme, the outcome may prove to be more painful. This explains why a distorted application of bitachon often leads to unnecessary disappointment and a crushed spirit. In the context of emunah, overdone optimism would mean convincing ourselves that the outcome will be just as we envisioned—when the truth is that only Hashem knows what’s best. Being realistic is not about being pessimistic. It’s about recognizing that the outcome is not in my control, while still remembering that however it does turn out is just right for me.

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UPDATES

Part

14 in a series

Demystified

Eating Healthy Is Expensive Many people believe that eating healthy is a certain heavyweight on the bank account. While it is true that on the surface, healthful foods like produce and solid proteins are more expensive than processed foods and grab-andgo treats, mindful shopping can help keep the costs within your budget. Also, keep in mind that the cost of not-so-healthy fast food, convenience meals, and snacks—especially in unmeasured larger quantities—can stack up pretty quickly and turn out to be even more financially draining over time. Eating healthy can actually save you money in the long run, especially if you stick to a few key principles when shopping for, selecting, and preparing your food. Here are some simple tips that can help you save money while eating healthy. • Stick to seasonal produce. • Buy generic brands whenever possible. • Purchase frozen produce. • Save your scraps. • Practice proper food storage. • Buy in bulk. • Don’t shop when you’re hungry. • Repurpose leftovers. Also, remember that there is no need to purchase specialty health foods in order to maintain a healthy diet. For example, while the widely marketed protein supplement or exorbitantly priced nut butter promises unlimited health benefits, keep in mind that two eggs, a cup of chickpeas, or a slice of lean poultry are perfectly well-rounded proteins that do the job just as well. 26

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FITNESS

HOW GROCERY SHOPPING CAN BECOME YOUR NEXT WORKOUT By Chaya Tziry Retter, RDN, BS, CPT Chaya Tziry Retter is a Monsey-based Registered Dietitian, ACE-Certified Personal Trainer, and group fitness instructor. She is passionate about helping others lead healthier lives in a way that suits their needs. She can be reached at 845-540-4487.

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We’re all in the thick of this long winter. Purim is still another month away, which means more routine for all of us. Some people relish routine, and some are looking to change things up. Often, the easiest way to mix things up is at…mealtime! A long winter stretch is a great time to whip out old cookbooks and reminisce about recipes you grew up on. Alternatively, finding new, trendy, and exciting dishes to try is another way to add some life to night after night of dinner prep. Wherever you’re getting your inspiration from, a new recipe likely includes ingredients you may not have stocked in your pantry, and a new shopping list means more trips to the grocery store. Why are we exploring this in the fitness article, you ask? Well, it’s highly probable that you visit your supermarket more than you visit your local gym, but that’s the good news! I’m here to tell you why heading out for another grocery run (see what I did there) is a terrific alternative to the fitness class you’ve postponed—again. Not convinced? Try these tips to maximize your next shopping trip and see the results for yourself.

1. PARK/GET OUT OF THE CAR AT THE FAR END OF THE SUPERMARKET’S PARKING LOT. Many of us are used to offering a short prayer that we’ll snag the parking space closest to the store entrance, but the faraway spot will help you get in more steps. The bigger the lot the better! Another benefit: it will save you the time and hassle of hunting for the perfect spot.

2. TO RETURN YOUR CART, GO ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE STORE. Not only does taking your cart back to the entrance help keep the grocery store tidy for everyone and avoid those flyaway carts that somehow end up in the spot you were about to take (who’s with me on that?) but it also helps you move a little more. After you load your groceries into the car, take your cart or basket back to the entrance area.

3. CARRY A BASKET. More trips to the grocery mean less items per trip. On lighter trips, grab a handheld basket instead of a rolling cart. As your basket fills with groceries, the physical challenge of shopping will increase. Try to balance the weight by shifting the basket from hand to hand every few minutes. Stand straight as you carry it, so you are lifting with your muscles and not straining your back. To prevent injury, avoid items that are too heavy.

4. WALK DOWN ALL THE AISLES. You may want to promise yourself not to buy anything not on your list for the current trip, but feel free to get inspired for a different meal, occasion, or an upcoming siyum. As someone who actually tracked and monitored the total workout expenditure put it: “Spending one hour at the grocery store on a weekend afternoon, we tracked more than 4,000 steps, walking more than 1.9 miles. Up and down the aisles, back and forth across opposite ends of the store, those steps can add up quickly and walking while pushing a cart or carrying a basket can be more of a workout than you think.” An average person can burn 150 calories per hour simply strolling through the supermarket.

5. GIVE YOUR LITTLE ONES A RIDE. Sunday morning and entertaining toddlers? Offer them a ride in the cart. Hoisting them up and down is a workout in and of itself, and of course, the extra weight you’re pushing around the store is working those arm and leg muscles. Remember here too to push with your muscles and not hunch over the handlebar.

6. TRY NOT TO ASK FOR HELP. Bend, twist, reach, and squat as necessary to reach the items you’re aiming for. That bag of baby carrots that sits on top of the produce refrigerator? Get creative and stretch up to grab it. And that case of grape juice on sale? Take a breath, scoop it up, bend with your knees, and slide it into the bottom of your cart for some weight-bearing challenges. Even loading the items onto the conveyer belt often requires some twists and turns—especially when the toothpaste made it into the back corner of the cart (under the toddler of course!).

7. TURN UNPACKING INTO A CARDIO SESSION. If you don’t have access to a pair of weights, carrying heavy groceries is actually a great substitute for maintaining your fitness, building overall muscle strength, and toning up. Depending on the size of your grocery bag or tote, a full bag can weigh at least 20 pounds, which packs enough resistance to work your muscles. Say it with me though, posture is key! You don’t want an injury due to improper form. If you’re about to sit and make your menu plan or grocery list for this coming week, turn it into a fitness session and pack in the benefits of a workout. Meet you in the produce aisle!

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ASK THE NUTRITIONIST By Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

MY OVERWEIGHT CHILD

My ten-year-old is slightly overweight. Would you recommend that I have him see a nutritionist? Also, I’d love to receive advice on how to best approach this issue as his mother.

I often hear from parents who are in a situation like yours, and what they commonly share with me is this dilemma between stepping in to do what is best for their child and taking a step away to let their child be. The overall situation, the child, and your relationship with the child is delicate, so you want to proceed with caution. Here is my perspective based on 25 years of dealing with clients of all ages. In regards to your question of whether or not you should take your child to a nutritionist, here’s my answer: When the child is so young, I recommend that the parents come into my office instead of the child. Why? It’s important to 30

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realize that emotional damage is worse than physiological damage. Years ago, when I received a phone call from a parent asking me to see their overweight child, I agreed to see the child. At the time, I thought that the child could use a nutrition education. But over the years, my perspective has drastically changed. When I would sit with young clients week after week, I noticed that these children, for the most part, were coming in looking unhappy— they truly did not want to be here. Most of the time, I’d figure out how to win them over and make them smile. But I knew that deep down, the child wanted to be anywhere but my office. I also noticed that many of my older clients who were presenting with eating disorders were telling heartbreaking stories of being forced to “diet” by their parents. It wasn’t hard to observe the glaring problem before my eyes. And so, over time, I decided to take a different approach, and baruch Hashem, I am finding it to be successful. Nowadays, instead of meeting with the child, I meet with the parents and educate them on their child’s specific needs. Most children are picky and don’t want to eat healthy foods. I help the worried set of parents come up with unique menu ideas that are healthy but child friendly. A child needs to eat what is appropriate for their body

and age. At first, many parents push back and say, “I know how to eat healthy; he is the problem.” It takes time for the parents to realize that so much is in their hands to help their child succeed. I teach parents that categorizing foods as “good” and “bad” can often cause more harm than good. I help them plan and structure a day’s menu to assist their child to grow and develop for their individual success. I also coach parents on what to say and what not to say so that the child will grow up not only to be at a healthy weight but to feel good about themselves too. Here are some examples. It’s best to refrain from telling a child that they did a “Good job” after they finished their meal. This may be sending the wrong message, as the child may interpret this as, “Mommy is proud of me when I eat more food or finish my plate.” A better thing to say is, “You always do a good job eating when you listen to your tummy.” Praising children for eating more food teaches them that quantity is more important than following their appetite and fullness cues. Bite your tongue. As hard as this may be, try not to comment on what or how much your kids are eating. Be as neutral as possible. Remember, you’ve done your job as a parent by serving balanced meals; your kids are responsible for eating them. If you play food enforcer—by saying things like “Eat your vegetables”—your child will only resist. Another thing I advise parents to be cautious about is putting too much pressure for your kids to eat “right.” Food shouldn’t be a source of worry for kids. Try to get your kids to eat healthier, but be creative, consistent, and calm. The bigger you make the issue of eating healthy foods, the more resistance you may notice. Play it cool. It can take 10 to 15 times before a child will decide to try or like something new. If it didn’t work the first time, try a different approach, or a new way to prepare and disguise the food. Remember the importance of doing this in slow, small steps. Patience is key here. Another important point is to lead by example. If you’re giving your kids apples but you’re eating danishes, it’s not going to work. Following a healthy plan for yourself needs to be part of the commitment of good parenting. Never use the “D” (“diet”) word in front of kids. When you watch what you eat too strictly, they assume that healthy food is something you’re forced to eat as a punishment. One more way to encourage healthier habits is to get the kids involved in the food prep process. Let them help cook meals and learn to read food labels. Teach them what is too much sugar and what’s an appropriate amount of fat or sodium. Food shouldn’t be a mystery. Most importantly, always remember—and impart— that there is no moral compass with food. All foods can fit into our life in a balanced way. And as parents, we can be the ones to transmit this important awareness and healthy outlook to our family.

Full of Life By Bayla Brooks

“Accept, appreciate. And if I can’t, look inward.” This is a mantra I’ve adapted in so many parts of my parenting journey, especially in dealing with my overweight child. My ten-year-old daughter is a bright, beautiful girl—and she’s very heavy. Over the years, I’ve been flooded with comments from well-meaning family members regarding her weight. The feedback already began at Monmouth Medical Center when she was just a day old. “Wow, look at those cheeks!” “What a full baby.” Chubby babies are cute, so for a few years, I pushed away a niggling worry inside of me. But when my precious three-year-old fit into a sizefive shirt, I knew we were in for the long haul. “Don’t worry, she’ll lose weight once she begins to play sports,” mom-in-law commented over a Shabbos meal. But she didn’t. My cherubic little girl, with her clear blue eyes, was clearly overweight. I rolled up my sleeves, ready to embrace this challenge. I was determined: it would not win me; I would win it. As time marched onward, I started worrying. Why do normal people feel the need to comment about my six-year-old child’s weight out in the open and right in front of her face? It blew my mind and hurt me to the core. I knew it was up to me to hold my daughter close and give her the sense of ultimate acceptance—because the world wouldn’t. And that is exactly what I’ve been striving to do. I gaze at my child and accept every part of her with full, deep, unadulterated acceptance and trust. And when that acceptance gets shaky, when the clear waters become shaded, if not a bit murky, I know where to go: I go inward. What negative feeling is blocking me from accepting my child? What is the fear beneath that vibe? Can I sit with and release that fear? It’s hard work, but oh so worth it. Yes, I model healthy eating. Yes, there’s lots of protein going around here. Yes, we exercise and jump each day. Check out my basement, there’s all sorts of fun gym equipment. But, above all there is a true, deep acceptance of who she is. It’s something she will probably never get from the world around her. And I’m grateful to be the one who strives to provide it for her.

Laura Shammah MS, RDN, has been operating a private practice in New York and New Jersey for over 20 years. Her clientele runs the gamut from people with eating disorders to those dealing with hypertension, high cholesterol, diabetes and cancer. She also helps clients who run in marathons or are looking to lose or gain weight in a healthy way. Her nutritional guidance is published in MaryAnne Cohen’s book Lasagna for Lunch: Declaring Peace With Emotional Eating. Laura can be reached at 718-376-0062 or Laurashammah@aol.com.

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ALTERNATIVE VIEW

BY FAIGY SCHONFELD

CONSTIPATION IF YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW. CONSTIPATION IS SIMPLY AWFUL. IT TENDS TO VISIT EVERYONE SOME OF THE TIME, AND SOME PEOPLE ALMOST ALL OF THE TIME. THIS MONTH’S COLUMN EXPLORES THIS COMMON CONDITION, INCLUDING SUGGESTIONS FOR NATURAL TREATMENT.

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WHAT CAUSES IT? Constipation can be caused by any number of reasons, so step one is to find the root cause. Most often the condition can be attributed to diet: too little fiber, too little water, or too much of other no-good foods. Leading a sedentary lifestyle—being too busy (or lazy) to move—is another common culprit. Certain medical conditions, medications, and of course, stress, can also cause digestive trouble. If you have an idea what’s behind the constipation, you’re a whole lot closer to getting rid of it, with the help of Hashem.

FIRST, HYDRATE! If there’s one thing you want to do to avoid constipation, it is to drink water—lots of it! Consuming hydrating foods is good too. To relieve constipation, have some sparkling water; studies show that sparkling water can relieve constipation more quickly than still water. But when you’re thinking carbonated drinks, don’t reach for sweet soda—that can make matters worse.

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ALTERNATIVE VIEW

FIRST, DO NO HARM Dairy comes in many happy versions—cheesecake, pasta, chocolate—but it has a dark side too. Dairy can slow down gut motility; stomach pain, bloating, gas, and constipation can all possibly stem from lactose, a protein found in cow’s milk. Children appear to be more at risk for dairy-caused tummy trouble; a review of studies conducted over a 26-year period found that some chronically constipated children saw improvements when they stopped consuming cow’s milk. Another offender is fried and fatty foods. Too much fat and too little fiber make for a nasty combination that puts the breaks on smooth elimination. Plus, these foods tend to be high in salt, and too much salt in the bloodstream has the body sucking up water from the intestines in an effort to bring its salt concentration back to normal. This results in lower water content of stool, making its movement much slower. Processed grains have been earning a bad reputation for a while now, and here’s another negative report. White bread, white rice, white pasta have all had the bran and germ parts of the grain removed, and this translates into a dramatic loss of fiber. Many studies have linked a higher fiber intake to a lower risk of constipation. A recent study reported a 1.8 percent lower likelihood of constipation for every additional gram of fiber consumed per day.

DIET Fiber Yes, fiber. But take note: different types of fiber offer different benefits. Insoluble fiber, found in foods like whole wheat flour, wheat bran, beans, cauliflower, potatoes, green beans, and nuts, speeds up the traveling process through the digestive system. Soluble fiber, found in oat bran, barley, beans, some fruits and vegetables, nuts, and seeds, absorbs water and softens the stool. Although both are conducive to healthy digestion, it might be a good idea to fill up on the type of fiber that makes a difference in each specific case. But here’s a caveat: if you’re already consuming plenty of fiber, adding even more fiber to your diet is unlikely to help. For some people, too much fiber can be too much of a good thing and can make things worse. If that may be describing your diet, try slowly reducing fiber intake to see if it leads to improvement. Prebiotics Prebiotics are all-around lovely—they naturally soften stool and increase bowel frequency. Load up on foods that are rich with this nutrient, including bananas, chickpeas, garlic, onions, apples, and berries. Flaxseeds: Another good source of prebiotics, flaxseeds promote healthy gut flora and encourage overall healthy digestion. A study published in Journal of Human Nutrition and Dietetics found that flaxseeds have a positive effect on irritable bowel syndrome and may be able to provide relief from constipation. Add some flaxseeds to a smoothie or yogurt or have a glass of flaxseed tea. Alternatively, mix two to three tablespoons of ground flaxseeds in water for an effective natural laxative.

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REMEDIES As a natural alternative to laxatives, here are some home remedies that may do the trick.

problems. Taking a daily probiotic supplement is a good way to start.

Aloe vera juice: Soothing for the digestive tract, drinking a serving of aloe vera juice twice a day can ease constipation.

Coffee: Coffee stimulates the muscles in the digestive system, plus it contains soluble fiber, which can boost beneficial gut bacteria. Also, a warm drink is soothing on the system and may soften stool as well. Its long-term benefits are questionable, but it can serve as a good quick fix.

Lemons: Packed with citric acid, lemons are great for flushing out toxins from the body. Squeeze the juice of a lemon into a glass of lukewarm water (with a teaspoon of honey, if you prefer a sweeter drink), and drink it first thing in the morning. Baking soda: Baking soda re-alkalizes the stomach, neutralizes acids, and soothes stomachaches. Mix one teaspoon of baking soda with a quarter cup of lukewarm water for instant relief. Prunes (or prune juice): These are standard fare for constipation-troubled people…they should be, in any case. They’re rich in fiber, plus they contain sorbitol, which has a laxative effect. Cod liver oil: Start your day by taking one tablespoon of cod liver oil or flaxseed oil, mixed with eight ounces of fresh carrot juice. Cod liver oil is also available in soft gel form; much more palatable, in my opinion. Castor oil: Castor oil is also known as a natural, mild stimulant when taken orally. To treat constipation in adults, 15–60 ml, around one to four teaspoons daily, is often recommended. (The taste is not that great though, just saying.)

Enemas: For the uninitiated, enemas can seem unappealing, but I recommend keeping a kit—or even prefilled pharmacy-sold enema bottles—on hand for times when relief is needed urgently. Once you get used to using this procedure, you’ll wonder how you ever managed without it. Massage: Always a good idea to get one, I’d say. Massaging the lower abdomen area may stimulate digestion. Lie on your back and massage the lower abdomen in a clockwise motion for 10–15 minutes. Repeat twice daily or until you get relief. Having a warm drink before the massage can improve its efficacy. Deep breathing exercises: De-stressing can do wonders for the gut. When the body is tense, the fight-or-flight response gets activated and may inhibit proper digestion. See what listening to calm music, breathing deeply, or some guided meditation can do for you.

Magnesium: Magnesium improves gut motility, making it a popular choice for constipation treatment and prevention. Dark chocolate, avocado, nuts, and seeds boast a high magnesium content. Alternatively, magnesium can be ingested as a supplement. If it causes diarrhea, cut back on the dosage.

Go for a run: If you’re trying to get rid of constipation, you want to boost your metabolism because that leads to increased intestinal motility. Regular exercise can also help cultivate a strong and diverse gut microbiome. Whether brisk walking, dancing, jumping rope, or jumping jacks, adding any cardiovascular exercise to your schedule is a move in the right directions.

Probiotics: Don’t forget these. Probiotics are great for maintaining a healthy intestinal tract, which is the order of the day if you’re looking to avoid digestive

The ultimate tried-and-true remedy for constipation, stress, and everything else? Just turn to Hashem for His help.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. Please consult with a medical practitioner before administering any treatment or implementing lifestyle changes.

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WELLSPRING COMMUNITY

Teeth Grinding

In this space, we feature a health-related question or predicament submitted by a Wellspring reader. Fellow readers are invited to participate in the conversation by sharing their tried-and-true advice and suggestions. Join the community!

My eight-year-old daughter has been grinding her teeth every night since she was about five. How can I help her with this issue? I’d love to hear what worked for others.

I suffered from grinding myself as a kid. Back then, my parents got me a fitted dental night guard. Although it felt rough in my mouth at the time, and I put up a fuss about it every night, it actually helped me stop the grinding. I’m grateful that I stopped because I now know that teeth grinding can cause ear infections and jaw trouble. Boy, am I glad to be done with that mechanism. It was no fun!

Teach your child how to maintain a gap between the upper and lower teeth. It’s a slightly awkward and unfamiliar mouth position but it really helps the child avoid the temptation to grind. Also, a warm compress is a great idea in this situation. It increases blood circulation in the area and takes away any discomfort that is causing the grinding.

- S. L., Brooklyn, New York

- L. Weider, Jackson, New Jersey

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It’s incredible that we have such easy access to all sorts of remedies in the briah. Magnesium is known to aid in relaxation and regulates mood. Try including magnesium-rich foods like dry roasted almonds, bananas, fish, black-eyed peas, peanut butter, and flaxseed in your child’s diet. These will help relax muscle tissues and blood vessels and prevent grinding caused by tight jaw muscles. Also, turmeric milk has anti-inflammatory properties that aid in relieving aching jaw muscles. The amino acid in milk helps the nervous system relax and promotes sound sleep. If your child won’t go for the taste of turmeric milk, add honey for sweetness and encourage him to drink a glass daily before bedtime for the desired results. Teeth grinding is also associated with vitamin D deficiency, which is very common. This wonderful vitamin is so easily absorbed from sunshine. Perhaps your child can spend more time outdoors and try to maximize the sun’s healing rays. - Odelia R., Lakewood, New Jersey

- Sara P., Atlanta, Georgia Is your child drinking enough? Many times, the grinding is due to dry teeth, and sufficient fluid intake can help with that. It may also help you to know that although it’s annoying, teeth grinding is really no cause for alarm. Thirty percent of kids grind their teeth, and most will outgrow it by age six or when their adult teeth come in. Some say that it’s due to improper tooth alignment. Perhaps check with your dentist to see if there is anything that can be done on that end. - Shayna, Chicago, Illinois How is your child’s caffeine intake? Any sort of caffeine throughout the day can disturb sleep quality, which in turn can cause the grinding. Also, did you check in with your pediatrician and dentist? Sometimes, the grinding is due to jaw disorders or teeth damage, so be sure to have your dentist run a thorough check-up. - T. H., Flatbush, New York When my five-year-old was grinding his teeth at night, it was truly hard for me. I was worried it would ruin his teeth, and the sound of it disturbed his younger brother who slept in his room. We put a sound machine between their beds to help drown out the noise. The pediatrician told me it was definitely due to stress, which is normal in growing children, and that I shouldn’t worry about it. The one trick that helped my son slow down on the grinding was a warm compress on the cheek. He loved the feeling—it relaxed his mouth area before bedtime. We also tried a warm bath before bedtime, soothing music, stretching exercises, massages, and calming books. I hope one of these tools will work well for you. - Ahuva W., Baltimore, Maryland

Stretching before bedtime is a great way to get all that pent-up energy and stress out of your child’s—and your— system! Try making it fun. Turn on some peaceful music and do it along with your child. We all have some stress to release. This may very well lessen your child’s teeth grinding. - Pnina Schoss, Jackson, New Jersey

We are currently going through this with my youngest. In the back of my mind, there’s this worry that perhaps it stems from an emotional lack. I’ve done some inner work around this and now I’m trying to truly tap into my child’s needs and connect with him in new, real ways. It’s been an exciting journey and we both feel refreshed from it. In the meantime, he is still grinding a bit, and I am being very patient for it to subside. - Goldie M., Monroe, New York

Both my four-year-old daughter and my six-year-old son were grinding their teeth incessantly, mainly during the day, for a good few weeks. Today, we hear/see none of it. What was our solution? A dreaded trip to the dentist! Both kids had several cavities that needed to be filled and the grinding was their means to soothe their discomfort. (They admitted to this once we went to the dentist, not before that, because their fear of visiting the dentist was too great. Once I was taking them anyway, they readily revealed the truth…) Something to consider before you start with other interventions. - Gila L.

My son suffered from grinding and jaw pain a few years back. It was no fun for anyone. In doing our research then, I learned about a night guard that can stop the child from grinding, but I thought it would be too uncomfortable for my child. I worked with my child on pre-bedtime relaxation techniques, and we found these really helped the situation. We had a great jaw exercise that relaxed the muscles in that area. It goes like this: Open your mouth as wide as you comfortably can and try touching your front teeth with your tongue. Good luck! - Bracha B., Lakewood, New Jersey

Next Up: I’m going on sixty and am baruch Hashem still maintaining a highly active lifestyle. Recently, my knees have started bothering me. They ache and feel painful when I get up or walk for more than a few minutes. Any natural ways I can address this issue? Want to share what worked for you with a fellow Wellspring Community member? Send your response to info@wellspringmagazine.com.

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Please note: These suggestions should not be implemented in place of guidance from a medical practitioner.

Grinding is grating, and I’m one to know. I’ve been through that with two of my children. Here’s something simple and effective you may want to try: Speak directly to your child. She may just be able to share with you what seems to be causing this behavior. Often, our children have an intuitive wisdom that we can tap into and utilize to help them succeed. Your daughter might mention pain in her teeth, or other sources of stress that are driving this soothing behavior. If there is no serious underlying reason, contests often help in simply encouraging positive reinforcement of a new behavior.

MEDICAL SAGA

CARRY ME THROUGH THIS

Being diagnosed with leukemia is a tremendous nisayon. Being diagnosed with leukemia while carrying a child takes the nisayon to another level.

As told to Libby Silberman

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MEDICAL SAGA

PART 4 OF 4 On the day Malka is to be discharged from the hospital after a three-week chemotherapy round, she ends up being rushed into an emergency birth due to her skyrocketing blood pressure. Her son is tiny but healthy, and she too is weak, but alive.

From deep within the peaceful cocoon of artificial slumber, I felt an annoying tapping on my shoulder, and a voice from far away. “Congratulations, Malka! You have a beautiful baby boy.” I was dazed, disoriented. It took time for me to grasp what I was being told. The doctors milled around me, exclaiming over the miracles that had transpired. I had only required two bags of platelets, and with the help of Hashem, I was going to be okay. Upon medical examination of the placenta, the surgeon declared it to be in a system of dysfunction, and marveled at the miracle that they hadn’t released me earlier that day as planned. I was brought to the NICU to visit my baby, and then transferred to a regular room for recovery. Once in my room, the magnitude of what had transpired over the past few hours hit me hard. Right there, in my bed, I cried and cried…and cried some more. I shed a whole lot more tears through the first night. The next day, the deluge of visitors started, but I found it hard to smile. I was too busy weeping. The oncology nurses came down to the maternity ward to congratulate me, to see my miracle baby, but I cried relentlessly, out of control. My oncologist came down to visit me as well, and she congratulated me warmly in a rare display of intense emotion. “I was so excited to hear the news! Can I hug you?” Instead of joy at seeing my doctor, who had been with me for so many months of grueling treatment, the sight of her set off another round of tears. She retreated. I called my mother amid my tears. “Mommy,” I sniffled into the phone. “Just daven that I should be able to be happy again in my life.” While the baby stayed in the NICU for another six weeks, I was discharged several days later for a two-week break from treatment. At home, all I did was try not to cry. Neighbors and friends delivered hot meals, but if anyone tried speaking to me, they got tears in return. 40

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Around two weeks after birth, my second grader came home from school with a pink invitation. “A performance! My class is making a performance for the mothers on Wednesday. Can you come, Mommy? Please? Please-please-please. My teacher asked if you’re planning to come.” “For sure! I’ll certainly come to your play,” was my response. I was determined to be okay. I desperately wanted to quit the whole crying thing that had rapidly become the monster in my life. I shakily got dressed the morning of the performance, and my husband drove me to school. I entered the school auditorium with a silly grin plastered on my face. “Oh, wow, look who’s here,” the teacher exclaimed when she spotted me. “Mazel tov!” All around me, fellow mothers and staff members were expressing how incredible I was for coming out so soon after birth, especially under these circumstances. I was showered with mazel tovs and berachos by fellow mothers. But I didn’t reply to anyone, didn’t utter one word the entire time. For if I’d have stopped grinning for even a single second, I’d have started sobbing. I generally find crying to be cathartically delicious, but my postpartum crying was none of the sort. It was a depressed, low, and awful kind of crying. After a couple of weeks of nonstop weeping, I received the diagnosis: postpartum depression. But nothing is too hard for Him, as I’ve learned, and I recovered fully from this too, baruch Hashem. * I refused to go to a convalescent home without a baby, and remained home for the next few weeks until it was time for my next round of chemotherapy. I returned to the hospital for another super-strong round of chemotherapy to ensure that the cancerous cells were gone for good. Up until that point, every time I’d complained about just about anything at the hospital, whether weakness, nausea, dizziness, or pain, the answer was always, “Well, honey, you’re

undergoing chemo while you’re pregnant, so of course you’re feeling this way.”

(I couldn’t help but think of the Chinese oncologist who’d hugged me tightly only the day before…)

In case I thought that response was over and done with, suddenly, in response to every complaint, I heard, “Well, honey, you’re undergoing chemo, and you just had a baby… That’s quite a trauma alright.”

And just like that, I was baruch Hashem able to leave the confines of the hospital in the nick of time. On my way out of the hospital, I told my oncologist, “G-d kept COVID out of America until now, just for me!” She couldn’t help but agree.

Although I didn’t feel so awful after treatment this time, I developed a staph infection, which meant I had to be hooked up to IV antibiotics for two weeks at home. It was the first time in my ordeal that “hospital” came home—the first time the two worlds I’d managed to keep separate for half a year collided. On an emotional level, it crushed me. The next month, I had one final round of treatment, which was officially the hardest one, but ironically, I felt the best following this round. When the Chinese doctor I’d met on my first night at the hospital walked into my room, she recognized me. She examined me but kept pausing and looking at me oddly. It was obvious that she wasn’t aware I had given birth in the interim and was wondering what had happened. “How are you?” she inquired politely, fishing for information. “I had a baby boy, you know,” I said helpfully. She shrieked with excitement and leaned over to give me a hug. “Ohh! I was scared to ask! I’m just so thrilled for you!” Dozens of doctors and medical students stopped by during this round of chemo. I was considered a huge success story, a story that did the hospital proud. On the day I was to be discharged for the last time, there was an undercurrent of unrest at the hospital. “New policies, hopefully temporary,” said my nurse apologetically as she handed me a note with the hospital header. “There’s this dangerous virus over in China that’s spreading around the world. They call it COVID-19. To prevent the spread, we’re now forced to limit bedside visitors to two people. I know, honey, you always attracted a crowd. We hope it’s temporary. Additionally, you’ll have to mask up at all times, except when eating.”

While I required hospitalization following chemotherapy most of the time, whether due to fever, infection, or being neutropenic, I did not require re-hospitalization following the final round of chemotherapy. In His kindness, Hashem made sure that I stayed well so I wouldn’t have to experience any of the COVID-related discomfort back in the hospital scene. * Meanwhile, in the NICU, our newborn baby was doing okay. He was learning how to eat and slowly gaining weight as well. He was born neutropenic, which meant he had no infection-fighting white blood cells. While it’s impossible to know the reason for this state, the doctors posited that it was either because he was born seven weeks early or, which seemed more likely, due to the chemotherapy that may have penetrated the placenta. Therefore, the baby was kept isolated in a separate room in the NICU for the first while. My husband visited him almost every day, and I joined him as much as was possible. The kind women of Edison, New Jersey, filled in more gaps at the NICU than I know about, especially on Shabbosos. Finally, after six weeks of some NICU scares but mostly ups, we were informed that our baby was ready to come home. Hearing that brought such joy to our hearts—and made me feel dizzy. Baby? Home? Although we had anticipated this scenario over and over again during his time in the NICU, we’d shelved the dilemma until it was relevant. How was I going to care for this child when I myself was helpless like a newborn baby? Even having a baby nurse wouldn’t solve the problem because I was still in treatment.

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MEDICAL SAGA

Someone had to take this baby for the time being, until I recovered. My mother was the obvious choice. However, I didn’t want her to be bogged down by the needs of a newborn baby, especially when I was still so dependent on her helping me at home. Besides, she worked during the day, and it was impractical for her to find a babysitter for him. A couple of other family members also graciously offered to take the baby, but similarly, most of them worked and would require a nanny to babysit him during the day. Another young Lakewood family extended an invitation for my baby, and again, we had to turn them down because of the same issue. Then I remembered Blimi. In the cycle of visitors my good friend had arranged at the hospital, my old camp friend Blimi had come. Her youngest child was already in school, and back when she’d visited me, she’d suggested that when the baby was born, she could care for him until I recovered. Now, it seemed like the ideal fit. I called her to ask if the offer had been serious, and she assured me that she was as serious as could be. I felt pathetic with relief. Naturally, it set off a round of guilt, and I felt myself retreating. Was I sure I had to send my baby away? Maybe I really could manage with him at home with extra household help? Ah, mother’s guilt! That same day, we drove to the hospital and picked up our little son. He was adorable—a living miracle, yet tiny and fragile. We brought him home, and my husband “showed” the baby around the house. My kids came home from school a little later, and we took a photo of each child holding the baby. As late afternoon approached, I felt myself passing out from exhaustion. I dialed my mother with my emergency alert button. Mayday! Helppppp! There was no way I could deal with the baby at night. Could she come? She sounded distracted when she answered the phone. My single brother had been involved in a shidduch, and Hashem ordained that this would be the day he’d be getting engaged. There would be a lechaim in the evening. Mommy couldn’t come to save me. As I’d feared, it was an impossible night. I was up with a fussy baby most of the time. By the time the sun came up, I was falling apart. This night reinforced our decision to send the baby away. I packed the mountain of layette and baby paraphernalia, and trust me, there was a lot of it! We’d received so many gifts from the spectrum of family, friends, and support people—I only hoped he’d get to wear everything before he outgrew the selection. After getting in touch with Blimi again, we made our 42

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plans to deliver our baby to her. Before we took the baby, I had to go to the hospital for bloodwork. It would take an hour for us to get results and for them to prepare the specialized transfusion I usually needed after chemotherapy. But before we even entered the hospital, I felt a sense of urgency to drop the baby off at the necessary destination. “Let’s just take him to Brooklyn now,” I begged my husband as we sat in the car in the hospital parking lot. “Let’s already get him to where he’s going to be loved and cared for.” I called my friend and informed her we were coming. “Sure!” she replied. “Should I prepare anything for him? For you?” With a lump rising in my throat, I choked out, “Tissues!” and as the tears came fast and thick, I heard her respond, “I’ll get you chocolate as well.” With my husband carrying the suitcase filled with the baby’s stuff and me holding the baby, we knocked on Blimi’s door. I deposited my baby in her arms and ran down the steps into the car, without looking back. My husband, unsure of what was expected of him, said to her, “Call if you have any questions,” before he too absconded for the safety of our car. “Drive,” I said. “Let’s go.” I wouldn’t, couldn’t look back at the piece of myself I’d just left behind in a total stranger’s arms. Okay, not a total stranger, but anyway. I sobbed. My cell phone buzzed a short block later. It was Blimi. “You forgot the chocolate!” But I couldn’t muster a laugh. I called my mother and told her I was in Brooklyn and driving toward her neighborhood. I wanted to wish her mazel tov on my brother’s engagement the night before. “Call me when you’re here,” she said. “I’ll come to the car so you don’t need to bother with parking and the steps.” I ended up getting out of the car a block from my mother’s house where we did find parking and met my mother on the sidewalk in my snood and raggedy sweatshirt. I so badly wanted to wish her mazel tov with a happy heart and a giant hug, but instead, fat tears rolled down my cheeks as I bawled in her arms. Through a tangled few sentences, I managed to communicate where my baby was, and then cried some more. When I was utterly spent, I came to my senses. “Let me get out of here,” I mumbled as I withdrew from her embrace. “I can’t be in public like this. I’m a mess.” I fled to the safety of the car, and we drove in silence back to the RWJ for my transfusion. Back at the hospital, some nurses at the outpatient clinic seemed to remember me from previous visits. “How are you doing? Is your baby home yet?” one

tefillos.” My toddler—who’d stayed with my sister’s family for six months—returned home. He’d finally settled in at my sister’s house and having him back home was a challenging adjustment of its own.

nurse asked. You know what happened next: waterworks. “Hey, you’re not allowed to ask her about that! You just made her cry,” a nurse shouted from across the room. This nurse had already gone to visit my baby in the NICU in the past, even tying a helium balloon with a handwritten card to the crib. * Over in Brooklyn, my baby was happy and thriving. Blimi sent me pictures only ten times a day, and she kept telling me what a wonderful experience this was for her family. To this day, my son calls her Tante Blimi and her husband Uncle Yaakov. A week into his stay at Blimi’s, he was finally declared fit to have a bris. My husband drove to Brooklyn to pick him up, and we ecstatically welcomed “Yehuda Yehoshua” to the Jewish nation, among the dozens and dozens of guests who joined in our simchah. These spanned the gamut of our own loving family, friends, neighbors, and the new circles of people we’d met in the past few months. His “siblings” returned home to Brooklyn with him where he remained for the next five months. And then…I was declared in remission. Aside from periodic checkups I would need for the rest of my life, I was off the hook. Thank You, Hashem. Being declared healthy was one of the most jarring experiences of my life. On the one hand, all I wanted to do was dance, but at the time, the high I’d been on suddenly wore off, not unlike the crash that follows a sugar high. My life, although interrupted for a mere six months, would never be the same again. Nothing was the same anymore. Wherever I turned, people had comments. “I davened for you,” was triggering for me until I learned to respond, “Thank you, I’m only here because of your

I had also grown so accustomed to dysfunction at home. The new normal was comfortable—lack of schedule, lack of organization, lack of cooking, lack of structured family life. I’d forgotten about normal things. Slowly, very slowly, that too fell into place. I went to bed at 9:00 PM each night for the next two years, unable to lift a muscle from exhaustion. After many months, I attempted to make supper for my family. I started with buying all the pre-peeled, pre-sliced vegetables, having wondered all my life who even buys that stuff. Well, me. I’ll never judge a soul who buys ready-to-cook chicken soup ingredients ever again. Around a year after I finished chemotherapy, my girls’ school principal called to report a minor infraction. It’s hard to describe the strange sort of joy I felt after getting this phone call. It meant I was all better. It meant the schools weren’t afraid of calling us anymore. It also meant my kids weren’t getting the special “nebach” treatment anymore. Finally, we were “suffering” from healthy, regular issues. Now, I’m back to raising my voice with my kids and finding matching socks at the hosiery store. JJ is the cutest little boy, with big questions and funny comments. Will miracles ever cease? In honor of his bar mitzvah, my eldest worked on learning the entire Mishnayos in hope of making a siyum on his big night. At the bar mitzvah, my husband got up to speak. He praised my son’s efforts, emphasizing his determination to keep going even when the going was tough. Then, my bechor rose to address the crowd. “With gratitude to Hashem Yisbarach that we’re all here as a family in good health…” I caught a glimpse of my ten-year-old daughter looking at me intently as my son said these words. At home after the bar mitzvah, she asked me, “When, Ma, are we going to stop being that family that has to start every speech like that?” When indeed? Ever? Perhaps never, and that’s okay—so we will always have a stark reminder of Hashem’s love, as He carried us through that frightening chapter of our life, and as He does every day.

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SAMPLE

SAMPLE By Libby Silberman

WELLSPRING / FEBRUARY 2024

Herbal Tea: Real Stuff or Total Bluff? In the Chanukah issue of Wellspring, columnist Esti Asher explored various herbal teas and their health properties in her popular Tidbits column. I happen to love sipping a hot tea on winter evenings as I work, but to be honest, when I read of the health benefits of each tea, the cynic in me did make an appearance. Drink peppermint tea and tension headache be-gone? Drink turmeric tea and watch your blood sugar become more regulated? Could a whole host of ailments really be cured through the magic of some tea? Have you ever tried drinking chamomile tea to calm nausea or indigestion? (For me, it’s a throwback to my childhood where that was the be-all and end-all of every stomachache. I sure thought twice before complaining of a tummy ache, or I was doomed to a tea-downing ceremony.) Interestingly, within a short time of reading the Wellspring piece on the benefits of herbal teas, I came across another two articles in different publications regarding the health benefits of herbal teas. For the most part, even the most medically backed research is admittedly anecdotal. We know tea definitely works in the head, but does it actually work wonders to the body? That question lends itself to a Sample-worthy exploration, I realized. Although we’re at the second half of what’s been a really cold winter, temps are still hovering below freezing and there’s no time like now to explore the truths about tea. So, is it or is it not conducive toward the healing of a whole lot of ailments? Let’s find out together.

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SAMPLE

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The Theory Herbal teas and traditional teas can help treat and prevent many maladies and can help people be their optimal selves.

The Experiment Following a Samples’ call in this space, twenty individuals (all women this time) joined our herbal tea experiment to find out if the brew can actually do the heavy lifting it’s touted for. No one had particular concerns about joining. Teas have no known side effects, with caution given on an odd few varieties for specific conditions, and with awareness of caffeine content when drinking tea in the evening.

How It Went Over Each participant was asked if there was a specific symptom they were most intent on targeting through the trial. Some requested a regimen that would aid with bloating and digestive discomfort, others asked for energy boosting teas, and quite a few wanted something for stress relief, calmer sleep, and relaxation. Says something about the times we live in, doesn’t it? I sent each participant clinically approved articles listing which teas could be effective for their specific ailment. The participants were to select whichever tea they preferred or could find locally, and drink one serving of it daily for the duration of two weeks. Of the twenty participants, only 14 followed through and actually drank their teas consistently throughout the 14-day test period. Of these 14, ten were skeptical about whether the teas actually helped them, although most suggested certain improvement in symptoms, but were unsure if tea deserved the credit. Only four participants were positive about the outcome of their tea drinking experience. Enough with the stats, let’s talk the colorful details.

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SAMPLE

What’s Tea Anyway? Tea: a scalding drink made from dried crushed leaves steeped in hot water, meant to be sipped slowly and intentionally. Most people use tea bags to make their teas, but diehard fans claim that using the actual crushed leaves is both healthier and tastier. Traditional tea (black, green, and white) is produced from Camellia sinensis plant, with the various teas resulting from the way the leaves were processed. These naturally have caffeine, but it can be removed as well. Herbal tea (lemongrass, rosemary, raspberry, orange, lavender, and many others) is produced from the edible parts of other plants, including the leaves, buds, bark, and flowers. These plants contain various health and nutritional properties and when in boiling water, infuse our drinks with the good stuff.

Here are some teas we suggested to our loyal Samples:

Headache

Ginger tea, Peppermint tea, Willow bark tea, Clove tea, Chamomile tea.

Stress relief, brain health, mood Lavendar blend tea, Rosemary tea, Sage tea, Peppermint tea, Chamomile tea, Valerian root tea, Ashwagandha tea.

WELLSPRING / FEBRUARY 2024

Deep sleep

Valerian root tea, Lemon balm tea, Passion flower tea.

Digestive discomfort, nausea, bloating Peppermint tea, Ginger tea, Chamomile tea, Senna tea, lemon balm tea, Wormwood tea, Fennel tea, Angelica tea, Fennel tea.

Weight loss

Rose hip tea, Green tea.

Immune boost, cold

Anxiety

Green tea, Lemon tea, Elderberry tea, Echinacea tea, All herbal teas with oney.

Lemon balm tea, Lavender blend tea, Passion flower tea, Green tea, Fennel tea, Various herbal blends.

Here are some of our trial participants’ responses. Miri:

Sara Esther:

Ahuva:

Symptoms: Digestive discomfort (bloating)

Symptoms: Mild anxiety symptoms, insomnia

Symptoms: Chronic fatigue due to poor sleep quality

Experimental Teas: Ginger tea (with turmeric), peppermint tea

Experimental Teas: Green tea, passion flower

Experimental Teas: Valerian root tea, occasionally mixed with chamomile tea

Review: These teas tasted good but didn’t actually help. I think I would benefit more from an elimination diet to determine the trigger of the bloating, rather than treating the symptoms.

Review: I believe my insomnia has improved in the past two weeks. I have more energy because of it, and somehow, I’m feeling more centered and less anxious. Was it the tea that helped my anxiety? Possibly, but can’t say I’m convinced.

Review: I drank tea every night while sitting in a dark room approximately twenty minutes before going to sleep. I found that it really helped me get into sleep mode. While in the past I responded to text messages and made phone calls until I went to bed, now I made it my business to get myself into a relaxed state.

Rikki:

Bruchy:

Rochel:

Symptoms: Anxiety, bloating

Symptoms: Lack of energy, stress

Goals: Weight loss, immunity boost

Experimental Teas: Lavender, herbal blend

Experimental Teas: Green tea (fruity teas, occasionally)

Review: In all honesty, it was certainly the ritual that facilitated my more relaxed state. I plugged in the kettle to boil water and prepped a big glass on a saucer. No paper cups for this experiment! I added a sugar cube and a cinnamon stick and sat on the couch alone, slowly sipping the tea. So relaxing and rejuvenating!

Review: I joined the experiment hoping to boost my immune system, as I feel depleted for much of the winter, and also to help my efforts to lose weight.

Experimental mint tea

Teas:

Green

Review: Juggling a newborn plus five kids under the age of 10 and a busy job, I wanted to try tea to see if it could help me relax, calm down, and live more in the moment as opposed to constantly worrying about the next thing. While it was very enjoyable to sit for a few minutes and sip a cup of tea every night, it didn’t do much for my nerves. However, making a few minutes for myself on a consistent basis was actually a welcome break and I had some time to just unwind and rejuvenate. That in itself was nice!

I highly doubt the tea actually did anything for me, although I thoroughly enjoyed this experiment.

I didn’t expect to lose weight just from drinking tea. However, during this experiment I was more mindful of my eating, and I lost almost two pounds during these two weeks. With regard to my immune system, I’m not sure about the results. I had a cold before we started and it’s starting to wind down, but I doubt the improvement is related to the experiment.

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SAMPLE

Don’t Ditch the Tea Just Yet From our research here at Sample, it seems that drinking tea is not the magic intervention to drive away ailments per se. But before you ditch your tea bags, read this: What can tea do? Here are some excellent ways to use tea toward healing and and achieving a better picture of health.

1. Steep a tea bag in hot water for a couple of minutes and apply to a puffy eye, red eye, or stye. So soothing!

2. Trying to be mindful of your hydration, but water tastes too bland? Drink some tea, hot or chilled on the rocks, for a flavorful hydration boost.

3. Drinking tea at social events certainly lends toward boosting emotional health and a sense of togetherness. At a recent family simcha at my parents’ home, my mother served hot tea with the dessert (a warm fruit/vanilla ice cream combo) in pretty glass cups. It was cold out and so heavenly warm inside as we sat and sipped together.

Dessert Tea 1/2 bottle (Bgan) cranberry juice 1/4 bottle apple cider Juice of one lemon 2 fruit-flavored tea bags (we used Wissotzky Fruit Galore) Place all ingredients in a 9x13” pan and fill the rest with water. Cover pan and bring to a boil on the stovetop on a small flame. Remove tea bags before serving.

4. Remember that week this winter when everyone was sick? Whoever I spoke to was sick and/or had their kids home sick. I was part of the club, so lucky! During that long week, I drank lots of tea all day, finding the hot beverage so soothing. It certainly helped to clear up congestion, drive away the shivers, soothe my sore throat, and keep me hydrated. So yes, for these reasons alone you should definitely drink tea when you're feeling sick. Send more great uses for tea my way!

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Tea for Upper Respiratory Tract Infection This recipe was submitted by a reader, who got it from Dr. Ephraim Ben-Zeev when she was suffering with a serious bout of bronchitis this winter. She reported that drinking this blend made her feel dramatically better and she wanted to share the wealth so others can feel better too. Combine: Fennel tea (to loosen mucus) Peppermint tea (to open sinuses) Cinnamon tea (to warm the body) 1 tsp raw honey (antibiotic and antiviral properties to fight infection) 1/2 tsp lemon juice (to loosen mucus)

Results Herbal teas come in a variety of pleasant flavors and are naturally free of sugar and calories. Ten points for a soothing, yummy drink. Many teas also offer healthy properties, and while modern science has started accepting these of late, there is a lack of evidence regarding their actual efficacy. Reviews from our Samples indicate that while drinking tea is nice and soothing and certainly facilitates relaxation, the tea leaves themselves did not do much to make them feel better.

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CUP OF TEA

WELLSPRING / FEBRUARY 2024

Cup of Tea with

Dr. Rachael E. Schindler Dr. Rachael E. Schindler

AGE: 49 LOCATION: Woodmere, New York OCCUPATION: multiple degrees in psychology, nutrition, and naturopathic medicine; instructor in aerobics, Pilates, and yoga; biofeedback practitioner

PASSION: giving people the holistic picture of health that they can sustain for life.

SHE WISHES PEOPLE WOULD KNOW: most salts contain sugar, and even artificial sweeteners contain sucrose.

By Roizy Baum WELLSPRING / ADAR I 5784

CUP OF TEA

Rachael Schindler was raised by a mother who was a naturopath—a pro in aromatherapy, reflexology, and natural products—while her father, a top-notch cardiologist, added a medical touch to the mix. This blend of natural healing and medical know-how has crafted Rachael into a dynamic expert with a solid grasp of holistic wellbeing.

“Growing up in the home I was raised in molded my profession,” says Rachael. “I always knew that both kinds of healing have their merit—holistic and conventional.” Today, Rachael, a mother of four and a seasoned professional with a diverse background that speaks volumes, holds two master’s degrees and a triple degree in psychology. She’s racked up a total of seven degrees—talk about an academic powerhouse! From the onset of my interview with Rachael, it became abundantly clear that I was engaging with a woman who is perpetually in action, devoted to the wellbeing of others. “It gives me nachas,” she expresses emphatically, referring to her work with biofeedback. “There’s nothing like lending a hand to so many people each day.” What is biofeedback? “It’s a painless, noninvasive tool with the goal of finding the body’s perfect frequency. The biofeedback machine picks up the vibration for any physical or emotional issue and actually corrects it through magnetic resonance. It is an amazing self-analysis tool.” Imagine being connected to little electrical pads that give

WELLSPRING / FEBRUARY 2024

you the inside scoop on what’s going on inside your body. Not only do they provide insights; they aim to assist you in the healing process as well. This, in a nutshell, explains Rachael, is just what the biofeedback machine does. During biofeedback, a practitioner connects electrical pads or sensors to different parts of the client’s body. The pads submit data to a nearby screen and the practitioner uses that information to make suggestions that help control the body’s responses. Rachael explains that when someone is stressed or in pain, their body experiences changes. The heart races, the breathing quickens, and the muscles tense up. But with biofeedback, small tweaks can be made—for example, relaxing those tight muscles—and these can ease the pain and relax the body. Of course, a skilled technician guides clients on the necessary changes and supports them along the way to reach their goals. “Biofeedback is a form of frequency therapy,” says Rachael. “It signals, records, and learns from information gathered from the body’s organs, systems, and cells. A person’s heart rate, breathing pattern, temperature, and activity are

all indicators that tell a practitioner about the client. “The machine tunes into the body’s perfect frequency, and with the data we gather, I can guide clients to a level of self-understanding that is incredible.” Master of All Trades Biofeedback caters to a diverse range of clients spanning various ages and backgrounds. There are no limitations based on a specific type or group. “Whether it’s ADHD in children, emotional changes in middle-aged adults, or the functional changes that appear in elderly, biofeedback therapy identifies the major stressors—whether emotional, physical, or mental.” If you’ve ever met a jack-of-all-trades, master of all, according to Rachael, that’s the biofeedback machine. “It’s crafted to measure and effectively address these concerns for anyone seeking its benefits,” she asserts. It all sounds too good to be true, and hearing her laud the untold benefits of biofeedback, I sense the skepticism starting to creep in. Yet, as Rachael presents the case for

the machine’s accuracy and success rate, the authenticity in her voice is refreshing. “I’m amazed every time I watch a client’s reaction to the machine’s diagnosis, and you can see it in their eyes—that mix of disbelief and relief,” she shares. “They say, ‘I can’t believe how accurate this is.’ Or ‘Wow, this machine knows me!’ And I understand their reaction because it really is mind-blowing. The machine doesn’t just diagnose; it’s actually productive. If I wouldn’t be used to its accuracy by now, I’d get surprised every time anew.” Rachael shares how her expertise as a nutritionist and as a biofeedback practitioner work together for the benefit of the client. Many individuals come to see her with weight loss as their goal, and the biofeedback machine is exceptional at homing in on the factors influencing weight management. Given Rachael’s background in both nutrition and psychology, she sees it as a powerful tool. “Take a celiac patient as an example. When he arrives, I have already reviewed the detailed form he filled out. Drawing on my experience as a nutritionist, I craft a personalized plan and recommend suitable foods.”

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CUP OF TEA

Rachael uses a proactive approach prior to meeting a new client, giving them a detailed form to fill out and asking for the results of all relevant bloodwork. She describes herself as an intuitive healer. “I’m a very good feeler. When clients undergo multiple treatments, I consolidate the information and can often get to the crux of the main issue, especially when I work in conjunction with the biofeedback machine.” There’s a reason doctors spanning the gamut know about Rachael Schindler. The machine works with different levels and strengths, and it requires a skilled practitioner to operate the device and read the results. “You know what’s amusing?” Rachael says with a wry smile. “Sometimes people ask, ‘Do doctors doubt the effectiveness of the biofeedback machine?’ Well, what doctors are most concerned about is results. Show them results, and they’re on board.” Even skeptics get a surprise when they experience the wonders of the biofeedback machine. Its tangible results strip away layers of doubt. “I’ve had skeptics walk in, arms crossed and eyebrows raised, questioning its effectiveness. But once they feel the subtle shifts in their own energy patterns and see the data unfold before their eyes, the skepticism dissipates.” In every corner and across all age groups, the impact of biofeedback reaches far and wide. Rachael connects with clients ranging in age from 8 to 89, delving into thorough sessions that last an hour and three-quarters. “During a session, clients often experience deep relaxation, with some even drifting off to sleep. The experience is uniquely tailored to each individual’s comfort and needs. We cover everything comprehensively, crafting personalized plans to address their needs. Nutrition also plays a pivotal role.” Sometimes, Rachael will introduce exercises to help achieve a client’s objective of getting them off certain medications. How many sessions are necessary? Sometimes a single session suffices, but Rachael typically suggests around three to four sessions for optimal results. What about her children? How do they relate to all of this? “They love what I do,” Rachael enthuses. “If anyone has a stressful day, is not 56

WELLSPRING / FEBRUARY 2024

“I understand their reaction because it really is mindblowing. The machine doesn’t just diagnose; it’s actually productive. If I wouldn’t be used to its accuracy by now, I’d get surprised every time anew.”

feeling well, or is nervous about an upcoming test, they just get on the machine. One session later, they’re feeling so much better.” In addition to the powerful sessions for her clients, Rachael also offers ongoing support by being readily available over the phone whenever her clients need assistance. “Unbelievably,” she notes, “once the frequencies are programmed in the machine, they’re stored there. So yes, the process works remotely, too.” When I ask Rachael for an anecdote or two from her success files, she doesn’t know which one to choose first. “I recently treated an elderly patient who thought he had a heart issue, but my gut said otherwise. Turned out, it wasn’t his heart that was failing; an obstruction was the culprit. The machine’s codes, combined with everything he told me about his medical history, helped me put the pieces together, saving him from invasive surgery that would have involved so much pain and wasted time and money. “There are so many kids I work with, on ADHD meds and all. As a developmental psychologist, I see them for their weekly sessions, combining therapy with the biofeedback machine. The changes are incredible; the relief is immediate. More focus, better concentration—all without the meds. It’s not just a treatment; it’s a game-changer that makes a real difference in people’s lives. “And then there was the remarkable case of a patient who came straight from heart surgery—a triple bypass. He couldn’t move and was undoubtedly facing a tough recovery. With the aid of the biofeedback machine and my guidance, the turnaround was astonishing.” Biofeedback sessions also prove very effective in helping couples dealing with fertility issues. Through these sessions, couples see positive changes and progress in their efforts to build a family. “I’ve witness countless couples going off medication completely thanks to biofeedback. The machine works incredibly well for many hormonal issues as well.” While healing and recovery is in the hands of Hashem only, it seems like this machine— and Rachael manning it with her care and devotion—may be one incredible shaliach for many.

No cheese cheese snack 100% parve 100% plant based

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SERIAL DIARY

Recap: Ever the optimist, Fradel recalls the roller-coaster ride of raised and dashed hopes she experienced with each new attempted colitis drug. So far, none have managed to stem the colon’s inflammation. The threat of surgery hovers over her, yet she pushes it aside, hoping for the best. Imagine being stuck in a waiting room for a day. Make that a year. How about five? Well, in terms of my colitis, I dealt with periods of flaring and periods of relative calm while hoping against hope that the newest med would actually do what it was meant to do. But there was no putting my life on hold. That would be a surefire way to turn me into a patient, a pitiful creature that could otherwise go by the name of Mrs. Colitis. It would be a rather poor replacement for the multidimensional Fradel Bergstein. Oh, I won’t deny the difficulties of dealing with the stress and mess of this agonizing condition, but by the same token, I wouldn’t allow it to stand in the way of my daily routine. There was no need to shed any parts of my entrepreneurial, knowledge-seeking, and growth-oriented personality. Life was not on hold. Somehow, I summoned the strength to continue being a more-than-just-functional person, wife, mother, and breadwinner. Plus more. Ever practical and solution oriented, I brought all the inspiration and recreation I wanted right to my doorstep. This enabled me to enrich my life without

WELLSPRING / FEBRUARY 2024

having to trek out and deal with the complications that would have accompanied those trips. So 41 Leeds Road became the gathering place for a monthly Tiferes group. A huddle of like-minded women would drink in refreshing words of inspiration delivered via videos from the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation. At another point, my humble dining room hosted a twice-weekly morning yoga session. Granted, the instructor wasn’t there in person, and the group was rather small (just my next-door neighbor Esti and me), but I got my stress release and mood picker-upper on a rubber platter. Later down the line, when I wanted to polish my public-speaking skills, I invited two friends for a weekly lesson along with a hands-on exercise to get us closer to becoming the orators we dreamed of. Of course, with three little ones underfoot during the day, staying at home wasn’t always practical, or even desirable. I won’t say it was easy dragging myself and my little ones out—even the short distance to the neighborhood playground—but I soldiered on. Getting there was the hard part, but being there was wonderful. Ah, the fresh air, the sunshine, the bliss of happy children sliding down the slides and climbing right up the ladder again as I schmoozed with a fellow Mommy…it was all worth the effort.

Chapter 7 My Name Is Not Mrs. Colitis by Fradel Bergstein, as told to C.L. Beer

Even if I felt miserable when going out to meet friends, I often pushed myself and ended up enjoying the outing. I would take the kids to the park even when I wasn’t feeling that great. When my sisters-in-law invited me to join them on a brief getaway a short plane ride away, I found a way to make it work logistically. Copping out of duties or pleasure was not an option. It was never a matter of if but how we would make this work. The kids learned that sometimes, Mommy was simply unavailable to help them sort out their fight or play another game of matching. Left with no alternative, things somehow fell into place when I rested for half an hour or so to refill my energy stores for the suppertime-bathtime-bedtime routine. When my husband, Shaya, showed an interest in donating a kidney, I was his biggest fan. Like I said, life continued to move on, full force, even with the health complications casting a faint shadow behind the scenes. I took two colonoscopies while on different forms of biological treatments. Both clearly demonstrated inflammation, which meant that the medicine wasn’t being effective; however, my condition was stable. Did that mean I could just sit with my hands folded and hope for the best? For the time being, I went with the no-news-is-goodnews approach and left everything at status quo. Until it wasn’t.

I was expecting my fourth child when things took a downward spin. Bleeding hemorrhoids made my hemoglobin levels dip. Iron infusions became a part of my already busy schedule and restored my energy levels temporarily. Later, when I still didn’t feel my energy coming back as it had after previous iron infusions, I retested my hemoglobin levels. To my shock, they were way down at 5.5 (normal range is between 12 and 15)! Things went from bad to worse, and I eventually had to be hospitalized. The fear of the unknown, the weakness, and the longing for my children were all part of the package Hashem sent my way. The willpower that had pushed me to keep caring for my family was of little use from my hospital bed. Still, I tried to keep things as normal as possible. Swallowing my pride, I reached out to my toddler’s babysitter. “Can you watch Rochel a bit longer? My husband will come pick her up at 4:00 instead of 2:45.” There was no point in hiding what was going on; having the support I needed was crucial to the wellbeing of both myself and my family. I spoke to my children frequently and did my best to take care of myself… and them, at least emotionally. As I did my best to keep my home afloat during that rocky period, the possibility of surgery loomed larger and closer than ever before.

TO BE CONTINUED WELLSPRING / ADAR I 5784

DIY

Hand r e z i r u Moist By Miriam Schweid If you’d like to treat the cracked skin on your winter-shot hands with a pampering, soothing moisturizer that is all-natural, this one’s for you. Especially if your skin tends to dry up from the heating system, cold air, and/or the use of hand soap or purifiers, the combination of medicinal properties in this cream will facilitate healing and rejuvenation.

2 tsp beeswax 2 tsp cocoa butter 2 tsp shea butter 8 drops lavender oil 1 tsp almond oil 8 drops geranium oil

In a double boiler, combine beeswax, cocoa butter, almond oil, and shea butter for about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat and mix in lavender and geranium oil. Refrigerate blend for about 15 minutes, then whip with a spoon or hand blender. Once a creamy consistency has been achieved, transfer cream to a glass container and use as needed. Please note: Consult with your halachic authority regarding kashrus concerns of ingredients and usage of cooking utensils in the preparation process of this formula.

WELLSPRING / FEBRUARY 2024

What My Child Needs Most The one parenting response that builds connection and a healthier child

TO SIT AND EAT HOW CAN I OVERCOME THIS CHALLENGE?

TAP IN

TAP IN by Gila Glassberg, RDN, CDN,

Certified Intuitive Eating Coach

QUESTION I find it hard to sit at the table while I eat. I consume most of my daily fare while on the go. I really want to make my meals more structured because I understand how beneficial mindful eating can be, but I just can’t bring myself to sit and eat. It requires me to be so present! I recognize that this is not just a technical issue and that there are emotional underpinnings here. How can I work on this?

WELLSPRING / FEBRUARY 2024

Of course, make sure you’re practicing self-compassion during your meals and specifically in regards to this challenge—that you’re not shaming yourself for this difficulty. Understand yourself for seeing meal time as such a source of contention. This is hard, but it is only through understanding ourselves that we can make space for growth and positive change.

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While the circumstances are different for every individual, here is one general tip toward fostering more presence at your meals. First, identify something that can help you feel more comfortable while you’re sitting and eating. For example, playing relaxing music in the background or setting the table with a pretty placemat can help. Once you’ve identified one or more ideas, utilize that tool and try as much as you can to implement it during meal time. Set a 1-3 minute timer (or even just for 30 seconds), and aim to tolerate the discomfort for that amount of time. Once this amount of present eating becomes more bearable, focus on increasing the time.

SEE REAL RESULTS FAST 1

Presence, in general, is not an easy state to achieve. It requires that we allow various feelings to surface and that we pay more attention to our inner space. Especially being present while eating requires allowing for thoughts and emotions around food to come up for us. The Intuitive Eating approach is not just about the surface level eating—eat this and don't eat that. Rather, it’s about our entire relationship with food, starting from childhood. And for many, this relationship isn’t entirely positive. Most people grow up in an environment where they were either forced to eat, forced to stop eating, or there was just general tension at the dinner table. For this reason, they may find it challenging to be present while sitting at a table and eating.

Before

Thank you for your important question, one that is particularly addressed in the Intuitive Eating arena. Kudos to you for recognizing that this is not just a technical issue and that there are inner dimensions that need to be explored here in order for you to enjoy more mindful meals.

After

ANSWER

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Have questions about the Intuitive Eating approach? Send them to info@wellspringmagazine.com and Gila will be glad to answer them in this space. Gila Glassberg is a Master's level registered dietitian and a certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. As a teenager, she was faced with constant diet talk, body shaming, and obsessive guilt around food, but now that she has found food freedom through the process of Intuitive Eating, she's eager to share its wisdom with others. Gila works privately with clients and she also presents workshops. The name of her podcast is Get INTUIT with Gila, and she writes blog entries on her website, www.gilaglassberg.com. She can be reached at 570-878-3642.

WELLSPRING / ADAR I 5784

INNER PARENTING

Unprocessed Emotions Don’t Go Away 5 Common Responses to a Child’s Expression of Emotion—And Why They Don’t Work By Shiffy Friedman

It happens every day, multiple times per day: a child expresses or exhibits emotion. Whether during the morning routine (“I can’t find my shoes!”), when a child comes home from school either bursting with anecdotes (“You need to hear what my teacher told me today!”) or uncharacteristically withdrawn, or when they’re interacting at home as the day winds down, the opportunities for exercising wholesome parenting abound. While simply being in the presence of a child is an opportunity for parenting, the real, profound impact of our place as the child’s parent is most deeply felt when the child is in an emotional experience.

ing moments that the child learns most deeply about the world around him, about life, about us, and most significantly, about himself.

In other words, it is at the moment that a child exhibits or expresses emotion that we are most poised to make our impact as parents. It is then that what we say or do—or don’t say or don’t do— speaks volumes. It is in these defin-

Sounds simple enough, no? This is your chance to do it right, so go ahead and do it. Here are the steps. But what makes this so complicated? Because in that same moment when we want to be the strong parent for the child—the moment

WELLSPRING / FEBRUARY 2024

Which is why, with the help of Hashem, we want to utilize particularly these moments to impart the most positive, encouraging messages. What is it that our child needs most at a time when they’re expressing or exhibiting emotion? In one word, it’s validation. They want to walk away from the interaction with the adult in their life feeling, “I matter. My feelings matter. My space matters. My opinion matters.” More to the Mix

when they are experiencing their own intense emotion—we ourselves are most triggered. When a child exhibits or expresses emotion, a self-aware parent will instinctively note how many of her own feelings arise in that moment. Whether it’s feelings toward the child or the self—the kind of parent I am, memories from my own childhood relating to this incident/feeling, and so on—a torrent of emotions comes rising up like a wave for us as well. Intuitively, as parents, we all know what a validating response looks like. However, as we’ve discussed in previous installments, there’s one powerful barrier that gets in the way of us being able to implement that kind of response, especially at a time when a child needs it most: it is our own fear of uncomfortable emotion. When our response is driven by fear of emotion, validation becomes further and further away from our reach.

It is when our resistance to uncomfortable emotion gets in the way that our responses are at risk of being misguided, and it becomes exponentially harder to simply follow a checklist. And so, because this is the Inner Parenting column, as we explore five common parenting responses, we want to do more than just list them and say, “Don’t do this,” “Do do that.” We also want to understand what may be driving us toward each response so we can exercise self-awareness and take note of where our own unprocessed emotions may be getting in the way. Once we understand the cause and effect for each response, we can then tap into our intuition to choose with clarity what truly works best for the child and our relationship. The Example To illustrate, let’s look at a super-simple example we’ll keep referring back to in each response. (We’re deliberately going with a scenario in which the child’s emotional outburst may appear disproportionate with the cause—especially in the eyes of an adult—because it is in episodes like these when parents are most triggered and children most need validation.) Suppose you’re standing in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on tonight’s supper, when your ten-year-old daughter Sara barges into the room, angry and indignant. Her toddler brother rummaged through her drawer again! This time, he took off with a tiny ice-creamshaped eraser that’s very precious to Sara—she got it as a gift from a friend. She’s crying, she’s screaming, she wants to hurt her brother really badly, maybe she even wants to move out of this house… So yes, this is certainly a display of intense emotion. Many thoughts and feelings may have come up for you as you read the scenario. (If this particular one does not resonate with you and your parenting circumstances at all, picture in your mind a scenario that recently occurred in your own home where a

child exhibited any kind of intense emotion.) The Responses Now let’s take a look at five common ways a parent may be tempted to respond to this irate Sara, none of which are constructive toward giving the child validation. Notice that all five of these rather common responses seem relatively harmless from the outset; they do not appear to be overtly damaging. This list does not include responses that are outright invalidating, such as shaming, ignoring, or other more extreme forms of mistreatment. Rather, our

After a quick “Oy!” the parent turns to Sara and says, “Come, sit down, supper’s ready now. Look what I made tonight—just what you love!” conversation is focused on highlighting how even sometimes well-meaning responses by parents who truly want what’s best for the child can inadvertently communicate the opposite of what they intended, and foster the opposite of the kind of feelings they want their child to carry in their heart. 1. Immediate Distraction After a quick “Oy!” the parent turns to Sara and says, “Come, sit down, supper’s ready now. Look

what I made tonight—just what you love!” It’s the common lollipop/ prize response many parents turn to when a young child gets a boo-boo. In this response, the parent is intent on taking the child as far away as possible from their painful state, no matter the cost. Sometimes the distraction is in the form of a pleasant substitute, such as food or a prize. Other times, it’s with entertainment or a swift change in conversation. Notice that the title for this response is “Immediate Distraction”— with emphasis on immediate. There is certainly virtue in distracting from emotion and simply moving on, but when it is encouraged immediately, it is not for the good of the child. This response, like all others in the list, is driven by a fear of/resistance to unpleasant emotion. Because it’s too uncomfortable for me to see you this way or to feel helpless as a parent, I just want to draw you away from this as quickly and seamlessly as possible. What are some unhealthy messages consistent immediate distraction sends to the child, whether consciously or subconsciously? Emotions are a frightening thing; you’re best off not paying attention to them; the best way to deal with them when they come up is to escape them, opting for any kind of instant comfort instead. 2. Minimization This kind of response ranges in intensity, from a soft “Sweetie, let’s not make such a big deal over something like that…” to a more tough, “Oh, please! Stop making such a big deal over a tiny little eraser!” In this response, driven by their discomfort with emotion, the parent is intent on minimizing the child’s pain: “It’s not as bad as you think it is,” “He only took one? You have so many other erasers left…” This is the parent’s way of taking the edge off their own discomfort, but for the child this response is the opposite of soothing. When, for example, a parent speaks about their own childhood or recent experienc-

WELLSPRING / ADAR I 5784

INNER PARENTING

es that were “way more traumatic,” that’s resorting to minimization as a means to quiet the child. What are some unhealthy messages consistent minimization sends to the child, whether consciously or subconsciously? The child feels painfully invalidated and dismissed: My feelings don’t matter. My feelings don’t make sense. I’m not okay for feeling this. 3. Rationalization/Idealization In this kind of response, driven by a general resistance to emotion, the parent brings logic into the picture, steering the subject at hand from the emotional arena into the intellectual arena (which they perceive as “safe territory”). Often, with this response, the parent sees the child’s expression of unpleasant emotion as an invitation for a mussar schmooze, bringing up very fundamental values at a time when the child is not ready to hear them, thus only promoting negative associations toward them.

“This is your chance to work on your middos” “Where is your rachmanus?” or “You should be grateful that you have siblings—healthy siblings! Imagine what people would do to have a cute little brother like that.” Alternatively, putting the child’s pain into a lofty nisayon perspective, “The more disappointment/frustration we have in this world, the more sechar we get in the Next World.” Playing the dan lekaf zechus coin also falls into this category: “Try to put yourself in his shoes—these toys look so tempting to him!” Again, while most of these messages are one hundred percent true—and ironically, would provide a sense of validation under the right circumstances— the context in which they are shared is in negation with the needs of the nefesh and thus in negation with the Torah. Multiple sources throughout Tanach (including Avos 4:18) caution one to only give mussar at a time when the recipient is able to accept it. What are some unhealthy mes-

sages consistent rationalization/idealization sends to the child, whether consciously or subconsciously? Again, the child feels painfully invalidated and dismissed, this time thinking (especially when the parental response is preachy and Yiddishkeit-centered): I’m not okay for having these emotions. My feelings don’t make sense. If I would be more ehrlich/good/spiritual, this wouldn’t bother me. When I feel any kind of unpleasant feelings, it’s a sign I don’t believe enough in Hashem and in His goodness. I’m so ungrateful, such a kafui tov. 4. Blame In this response, driven by their fear of powerlessness and/or fear of feeling their own guilt, the parent seeks a culprit for the child’s pain—whether it’s the child herself, the one who perpetrated the act, or anyone else. It’s all about finding that guilty party on whom to project all hard feelings. “I warned you to keep your drawer locked. How many times do I

What a Parent I Am! When reading an article like this, which lists common parenting responses and why they should be avoided, we may find ourselves entering self-criticism mode. If we are honest enough with ourselves to admit that yes, we do resort to some or all of these responses in our interactions with our children, our instinctive reaction may very well be: What kind of a parent am I? But before we go down the dangerous self-berating path, here’s what we need to remember. As we’ve mentioned in the past, the reason why we may find ourselves drawn toward these maladaptive responses is not because we’re out to distance ourselves from our child or to impart unhelpful messages. Rather, it is because we are driven by a fear: a fear of uncomfortable emotion, whether the child’s or the one that is surfacing for us. It is essential for us to remember this piece as we

WELLSPRING / FEBRUARY 2024

explore the common responses that are not helpful: instead of viewing ourselves critically for being drawn to them, we want to understand ourselves for going there. As always, it is only through self-compassion that we can experience positive change. Also, it is important to remember that while we do want to give parenting our best shot, we are human beings. And so, all of us will, at one point or another, find ourselves resorting to one or more of these common responses. That’s okay. Children are more resilient than we may believe, and an occasional unhelpful response will usually leave no impact, with the help of Hashem. It’s consistently resorting to them that yields the effect we want to stay away from. And so, the idea is to avoid them as much as possible without living in intense fear of making a mistake. Every single time we make a choice to step away from an unhelpful response is a victory.

need to tell you that?” “You keep making this mistake,” or “It’s all your fault.” When blame is focused on the perpetrator, it looks like, “Where’s your little brother? Let me punish him right now. How can he do such a thing?” What are some unhealthy messages consistent blame sends to the child, whether consciously or subconsciously? Again, the child feels invalidated and dismissed, this time thinking: The way to soothe my pain is to project it outward; if I just find a culprit, I can focus all my anger and hard feelings in that direction. And, especially when the blame is projected toward the child: Everything is my fault; I’m not allowed to be upset because I caused this to happen.

dressed. However, it’s when the solution dispensing is immediate, before the child’s emotions have been validated, that this helpful response is accompanied by an unhelpful side effect. What are some unhealthy messages consistent immediate problem-solving sends to the child, whether consciously or subconsciously? Again, the child feels invalidated and dismissed, this time thinking: What are you making a big deal about? All we need is a practical solution and nothing else matters. Let’s just get over this feeling as fast as possible. See? The issue is already resolved, why the need to make a fuss over it? Taking a Step Away

5. Immediate ProblemSolving In this response, also sometimes driven by their fear of powerlessness and/or guilt, the parent becomes a solution dispenser. Practical solutions abound while the child is left to nurse their pain on their own. “Let’s go lock your drawer right now,” or “Here’s the credit card, go get another eraser.” It is this response that parents resort to when they are quick to call the teacher/principal/friend’s mother/other when the child reports an incident that happened at school and they don’t yet know all the details. As with the first response (distraction), of course there is a place for problem-solving, and issues that need to be technically resolved should obviously be ad-

If a child consistently receives one or more of the above responses when they exhibit emotion, however well-meaning the response may be on the parents’ end, the child ends up feeling invalidated—even if they can’t express it. An individual who feels invalidated may perceive themselves and their emotional world as flawed, unworthy, not good enough, and inferior. It’s an internal feeling they carry in their heart, one that no healthy parent wants their child to grow up with. So what is the response that fosters the opposite feeling? Having explored the sur mei’ra territory, our next article will bring us to the aseh tov approach toward raising emotionally healthy, well-adjusted children, with the help of Hashem.

The Language I Speak to Myself There’s one comment I get often from women I do emotional work with, one that communicates their grasp of an important concept. “How do I know that the way I’ve been speaking to myself has improved?” they say, usually after working together for a number of sessions and having shifted their self-perception. “Because I hear the change in the way I’m speaking to my husband/children.” How true! It is when we change our inner narrative that we start to speak to and treat those around us differently. Looking at the list of five common responses, see which of them resonate with you not only as a parent, but as a self-parent. When you yourself are experiencing an unpleasant emotion—whether it’s loneliness, disappointment, frustration, or sadness—how do you parent yourself? Are you quick to distract yourself, to minimize your own pain, to rationalize/idealize the situation, to seek a culprit, and/or to immediately enter problem-solving mode? Recognize that as long as you give yourself this unsympathetic treatment, not only will you find it harder to treat others more sympathetically, but you will only cause the uncomfortable emotion to fester. It’s when you avoid these responses that, with the help of Hashem, you enable the emotion to dissipate, making space for positive emotions in your heart.

If you have any questions or comments on this column, please write to Shiffy@wellspringmagazine.com with Parenting Series in the subject. In addition to her work as a writer, teacher, and counselor, Shiffy Friedman is the founding director of LAHAV, an initiative that spreads awareness about the pathways to connection, contentment, and inner peace through Torah. To sign up to receive her messages on the topic, please write to info@lahavinitiative.org. To hear more about LAHAV, as well as demos from LAHAV classes, please call the hotline at (646) 693-1700.

WELLSPRING / ADAR I 5784

Perfectly Balanced.

JEUNESSEWINES.COM Cabernet Sauvignon · Black Muscat Pink Moscato · Chardonnay · Duette MADE IN CALIFORNIA, USA

WELLSPRING / FEBRUARY 2024

FEBRUARY 2024 / ADAR I 5784 / ISSUE 97

WHAT’S FOR DINNER? 2 NEW FABULOUS ADDITIONS TO YOUR ROTATION

SWAP

THE SECRET TO THESE COOKIES' CHEWY TEXTURE STAYS BETWEEN US

ENCORE GOOD-FOR-YOU LOLLIPOPS

GET ACQUAINTED WITH 6 TYPES OF RICE

80 Encore By Malky Rosenberg

84 Rice Roundup By Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

73 Dinner in 30 By Yossi & Malky Levine

SWAP By Yossi & Malky Levine

My Table Wellspring contributors

WELLSPRING / FEBRUARY 2024

EDITOR'S NOTE

Dear Cooks,

With the extra month in our calendar this year, the winter feels longer than usual—and as this is Wellspring’s Adar I issue, you’ve probably come across an article or two that focuses on that. Here at Seasoned, we’re keeping that in mind as well. When routine seems to stretch into the horizon for another week and then another, and we’re thinking “dinner,” all we want is either a good break or a refreshing change. While it’s a great idea to take it easy every now and then—whether by opting for takeout or breakfast foods for dinner—most nights we want to whip up something wholesome in our own kitchen that the whole family will enjoy. Once we’re at it anyway, why not give everyone something that’s truly a treat for the taste buds? In this issue, the Levines present us with two such recipes that will add that welcome kick of flavor to our supper rotation. Best part? These dishes take less than 30 minutes to put together! For the days when you want to take it even easier, here’s something that really works in our house: If you have kids (even sons!) who are in the preteen stage or older, hand them the chef tools for the afternoon. The kitchen may end up in a greater state of disarray than on Erev Pesach

(so leaving the vicinity for the time being is highly recommended!), but if you’re patient enough about this, you’ll be amazed at the dishes your junior chefs will whip up for the family to enjoy. Whenever life gets hectic or I’m in need of a break, I give my kids a chance to step up to the plate (excuse the pun!), with cool results time and again. On such nights, our family has gotten to enjoy ground meat knishes, franks-n-blanks, and hot poppers. Even if I didn’t necessarily partake in the menu (just a taste to give my effusive feedback), the rest of the crew was well-fed and happy. In addition to the hearty meal the kids put together while Mom gets a chance to catch her breath, the benefits also abound in the emotional arena. Kids feel fabulous presenting their final product, knowing they can be trusted to feed the family with wholesome (or-not-so-wholesome!) fare. On this end, a good kids’ cookbook is a helpful tool toward menu planning and clear direction, so you don’t have to be busy guiding them along step by step. Kids Cooking Made Easy by Leah Schapira and Victoria Dwek is a favorite in our house. Enjoy the last leg of winter in good health,

Esther

WELLSPRING / ADAR I 5784

The New Look of

Dinner in 30 “I have enough dinner ideas,” said no one, ever. We’re always on the lookout for something new, especially this time of year when we seem to have exhausted all options. To ask for more than just a new recipe sounds like asking for too much, but this time we’re letting you do just that! Dinner in 30 minutes? Oh yes! Here are two simple chicken dinner recipes that are not only packed with flavor and will add some zing to your routine menu, but the best part is you can whip them up in a jiffy! They’re the kind of recipes you’ll be making over and over again… The Levines

Recipes, Styling, and Photography by Yossi & Malky Levine

DINNER IN 30

Miso Chicken and Veggie Bake This easy-to-prep, one-pan meal is bursting with color and rich umami flavor (thanks to the miso). If you’ve never tried miso in cooking, this is your chance to give it a shot. You won’t regret taking this risk!

Miso Marinade: 2 Tbsp dark miso paste ¼ cup water ⅓ cup silan 4 garlic cloves, minced ½ tsp salt ½ tsp black pepper 1–2 lbs chicken nuggets 1 red, orange, yellow, and green pepper, cubed 1 zucchini, cubed 1 purple onion, cubed 16 oz frozen broccoli

Preheat oven to 400°F. In a bowl, mix miso paste, water, silan, garlic, salt, and pepper to create miso marinade. Marinate chicken nuggets in mixture for at least 30 minutes, up to overnight in the fridge. In a baking dish, arrange marinated chicken and add cubed peppers, zucchini, purple onion, and broccoli. Drizzle remaining miso marinade over veggies. Bake for 25–30 minutes.

WELLSPRING / ADAR I 5784

DINNER IN 30

Honey Garlic Chicken Fingers Yes, you can have those sticky delicacies without the sugar or processed-ingredient overload! These sticky chicken fingers will quickly become a favorite among kids and adults too.

2 lbs chicken breast, cut into fingers 2 Tbsp cornstarch (or arrowroot powder) ½ tsp salt ½ tsp pepper 2 Tbsp sunflower or olive oil 4 cloves garlic, minced ⅓ cup honey ⅓ cup chicken stock or water 2 Tbsp low-sodium soy sauce or shoyu sauce Chopped scallions, for garnish

Place chicken strips in Ziploc bag and add cornstarch, salt, and pepper. Toss chicken with the cornstarch until thoroughly coated. Heat oil in a large skillet over high heat. Add chicken fingers and sauté for 4–5 minutes on each side until golden brown. Remove chicken from pan and set aside. To make the sauce, reduce heat to medium and add 1 Tbsp oil to hot pan, and stir in garlic. Sauté for 1 minute and add honey, chicken stock, and soy sauce, and mix well. Turn up heat and bring sauce to a boil, then simmer for 4–5 minutes until sauce reduces and thickens. Pour sauce over chicken and garnish with chopped scallions or chives.

WELLSPRING / ADAR I 5784

SWAP

SWA P

By Yossi & Malky Levine

Butter/Margarine

Mashed Avocado

Mashed avocado is a versatile ingredient that can be used in different recipes, including spreads, dips, dressings, and baked goods. The creamy texture can mimic the richness of butter, while offering many health benefits. Here are some of them: • Avocado is rich in monounsaturated fats, particularly oleic acid, which is beneficial for heart health. • Avocado contains much lower levels of saturated fat than butter. • Avocado is a good source of dietary fiber, which aids in digestion. • Avocado is packed with essential vitamins and minerals, including potassium (which can help regulate blood pressure), vitamin K (important for bone health and blood clotting), vitamin E (an antioxidant), and folate (essential for cell function and tissue growth). • Avocado contains antioxidants such as lutein and zeaxanthin, which are beneficial for eye health.

Double Chocolate Chip Cookies It feels good (kind of sneaky too!) to be using ingredients like avocado in a cookie! Send these with your kids for snack, or serve them as an afternoon treat when they get home… They’ll never guess which veggie to thank for this deliciously chewy texture.

1 ripe avocado, mashed (⅔ cup mash)

Preheat oven to 350°F and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

1 cup coconut sugar or brown sugar 1 large egg

In a mixing bowl, combine mashed avocado, coconut sugar or brown sugar, egg, and vanilla extract. Stir until well combined.

1 tsp vanilla extract

In a separate bowl, whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt.

1 cup whole wheat flour or allpurpose flour

Gradually add dry ingredients to avocado mixture and mix until just combined.

¼ cup cocoa powder ½ tsp baking soda

Transfer mixture to a large piping bag and pipe 2-inch diameter cookies onto prepared baking sheet.

¼ tsp salt

Bake for 10–12 minutes, or until edges are set.

½ cup dark chocolate chips

Allow cookies to cool on baking sheet before removing.

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Stir in chocolate chips.

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ENCORE

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Recipes & Text by Malky Rosenberg, Styling & Photography by Pessi Piller

Creamie Brownie Peebie Lollipop Yield: 30 lollipops A title like this needs no intro, but don’t take my word for it.

2 cans chickpeas

Glaze:

2 cups almond flour

4–5 dates, pitted and checked

⅓ cup cacao powder

¾ cup hot water

1 tsp salt

2 Tbsp crunchy peanut butter

½ tsp baking soda

20 almonds

½ cup maple syrup

2 tsp vanilla extract

¼ cup natural peanut butter (I used salted)

2 tsp lime or lemon juice, freshly squeezed

1 Tbsp vanilla extract

2 tsp tahini (100 percent sesame)

¼ cup mini sugar-free chocolate chips

1. Rinse and drain chickpeas well. Let dry on a towel. 2. Meanwhile combine almond flour, cacao powder, salt, and baking soda in medium bowl. 3. In food processor, blend together chickpeas, maple syrup, peanut butter, and vanilla extract. 4. Transfer mixture to bowl and mix well with gloved hand. Fold in chocolate chips. 5. Form balls and insert one lollipop stick into each ball. Let freeze for 30 minutes. 6. Meanwhile, prepare glaze. Soak dates in hot water. Transfer dates and water to food processor. Add rest of ingredients and blend for a few seconds. Pour into a cup. 7. Dip chilled lollipops in glaze and store in freezer.

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ENCORE

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Spiced Coconut Mango Lollipop Yield: 18–20 lollipops If dried mango is your thing, look no further. This is dried mango on steroids. Great flavor, great texture, and, best of all, great nutritional value.

3–4 Medjool dates, pitted and checked ½ cup unsweetened dried mango, tightly packed ½ cup plus 1 tsp shredded coconut ½ cup raw unsalted cashews 1 cup almond flour 2 Tbsp hemp seeds 1½ tsp ginger ⅛ tsp salt (omit if cashews are salted) 1 Tbsp lime juice, freshly squeezed

1. Soak dates and mango in very hot water for a few minutes until soft and flexible. 2. Meanwhile, blend shredded coconut and cashews in food processor. Transfer to small bowl. 3. Add almond flour, hemp seeds, ginger, and salt to the bowl and mix well. 4. In food processor, blend mangoes, dates, and lime juice on high. 5. Transfer to bowl and mix everything together with gloved hand. 6. Roll into balls and insert one lollipop stick into each ball. Store in freezer and enjoy chilled!

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TIDBITS

RICE ROUNDUP Get acquainted with 6 types

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

Rice is arguably one of the most versatile and family-friendly meal components. Since most people also find it to be an easily digestible grain, it makes for a popular component of many diets, including gluten-free. The general nutrient profile of rice includes carbohydrates, B vitamins, folic acid, magnesium, selenium, fiber, iron, and zinc. If you find yourself contemplating which variety of rice to choose in the grocery store, here are the six basic types and several unique qualities of each.

Brown Rice

Basmati Rice

Rice marketed as “brown rice” simply means rice in its original, unprocessed form. Brown rice is an excellent example of a whole grain that contains both the bran and the germ of the original grain. These components provide fiber and extra vitamins and minerals in their natural state. Because its outer hull is intact (and not removed via processing, as in the case of white rice), cooking time may be increased with brown rice, but the nutritional benefits are definitely worth the minutes.

Translated as “fragrant” in Hindi, the Basmati rice variety has a distinct aroma that can be described in numerous ways, including floral, nutty, or even resembling the smell of popcorn. This type of rice is very popular in the Indian diet, as well as in Middle Eastern and Persian cooking, and can be found either as white or brown.

Arborio Rice

Jasmine Rice

Arborio rice has a uniquely round shape and is a medium grain rice. Native to Italy, it absorbs liquids and flavors more easily due to its higher starch content. Most popularly used within risotto dishes, this rice has a creamy texture. Its name comes from the town of Arborio in the Pop Valley, located in the region of Piedmont, Italy.

This type of rice is native to Thailand and is a long grain rice. Also, due to its chemical makeup, Jasmine rice has a particularly sweet-smelling quality, which explains why it is named after an aromatic flower. Most popularly consumed in its white variety, Jasmine rice also comes in black, purple, and red varieties.

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TIDBITS

Sushi Rice This sticky short-grain rice is most commonly used for sushi. Its unique texture and stickiness is primarily due to its high amount of the starch amylopectin in comparison to other rice varieties. Typically, sushi rice is seasoned with rice vinegar, white sugar, and salt before being used in sushi or sushi salad.

Wild Rice A fun fact about wild rice is that it is not a true rice, but rather the seed of a type of grass resembling rice that grows in shallow fresh water and along streams and lakes, primarily in the United States and Canada, and its stalks can reach up to 12 feet high. Wild rice tends to be longer than other rice and has a nutty and earthy flavor with a thick and rigid hull, and it therefore requires more cooking time. In general, wild rice offers notably more iron, magnesium, potassium, zinc, and phosphorus than other rice varieties.

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD, is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Self-Care Enthusiast on a mission to help women reach their ultimate health and wellbeing potential inside and out. She shares credible, clear, and inspiring nutrition information with women via her virtual private practice. To contact Esti with feedback or inquiries regarding her nutritional services, please email her at: esti@ estiashernutrition.com or visit estiashernutrition.com.

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Middle-Aged Women Consuming a Heart Healthy Diet Are Less Likely to Report Cognitive Decline Later in Life The DASH (Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension) diet is commonly recommended for general heart health, and more specifically to lower blood pressure. This diet includes a plethora of fruits and vegetables, whole grains, fat-free or low-fat dairy products, fish, poultry, beans, and nuts. In addition, there is a focus on limiting foods that are high in salt, as well as limiting added sugars and saturated fats. A new study, led by researchers from NYU Grossman School of Medicine and published in the journal Alzheimer’s & Dementia, suggests that the adoption of the DASH diet among women mid-life could be helpful toward cognitive function decades later. Investigators analyzed data from 5,116 of the women enrolled in the NYU Women’s Health Study. Their diets were analyzed and the participants were followed for more than 30 years. Participants were asked to report any cognitive complaints, and these complaints were subsequently assessed using “six validated standard questions that are indicative of later mild cognitive impairment, which leads to dementia.” Ultimately, the findings showed that women who made the lifestyle change and adopted a DASH diet were about 17 percent less likely to report signs of cognitive decline such as memory loss later in life.

Exposure to Broccoli Sprouts Early in Life May Protect against Colitis in Inflammatory Bowel Disease High fiber diets have a plethora of health benefits, including regulating bowel movements, lowering cholesterol levels, and helping with blood sugar level control, to name a few. Fiber is found in fruits, vegetables, and grains, as well as in legumes such as beans, peas, and lentils. A study recently published in mSystems, a journal of the American Society for Microbiology, determined that high fiber diets, such as those that include broccoli sprouts or other cruciferous vegetables, may decrease symptoms and improve quality of life in patients who have inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). This study included four different groups of mice who had a Crohn’s-afflicted gut. The subjects were given broccoli sprouts to eat, and this high-fiber food was introduced at different stages of life. Results of the study showed that the younger subjects that were fed a broccoli sprout diet had the “mildest disease symptoms and the most robust gut microbiota” as opposed to the older groups. More specifically, there was a higher concentration of the anti-inflammatory metabolite called sulforaphane in the blood, which protected the subjects from severe disease symptoms such as diarrhea, blood in the stool, and extreme weight loss.

Crouton Crusted Salmon BY KOSHER.COM STAFF | YIELDS 6 SERVINGS

Heaven & Earth’s plantain croutons make the perfect crunchy crumb topping for this delicious salmon. These crunchy bites of healthy, completely plant-based flavor will be well appreciated by all! INGREDIENTS

2 cups Heaven & Earth Onion & Garlic Veggie Croutons 2 tablespoons olive oil, plus more as needed 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice, as needed for serving 1/4 cup fresh parsley, cleaned and finely minced 4 salmon fillets

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 400°F.

2. Crush the croutons in a food processor fitted with the “s” blade until they form fine crumbs. Pour the crumbs into a bowl and mix with fresh chopped parsley. 3. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and place down the fillets of salmon. Brush each fillet with olive oil and top with crumbs, lightly patting them down to adhere. 4. Bake the salmon for 11–14 minutes until the crumbs are lightly browned and the fish reaches an internal temperature of 135°F.

For more great recipes visit

In the pages of Wellspring, we share expert advice from some of the community’s most popular and competent dietitians and nutritionists. In this column, you get to see how they practice what they preach in their own kitchens. Pull up a chair at “My Table” and join the chat.

THIS MONTH

SPICE IT UP With this year’s double Adar, it feels like winter is taking way longer than usual. What’s one interesting way you’ve been changing up your meals lately to add more color and spice to your day? Or are you just the kind of person who doesn’t mind eating the same foods every day, day in day out? Tell us about it!

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Lately I find myself making frozen fruit smoothies for my crew. It’s always a welcome and refreshing treat after a long day at school and sometimes serve it instead of a hot soup. Additionally, I’ve been buying shelled edamame often these days. I simply microwave a bag of edamame for 5 minutes, add some salt and serve it alongside any protein and carb. It is loved by all!

Dr. Rachael Teichberg

Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC

Compiled by Shiffy Friedman

I’ve been spicing up my meals with fresh parsley, cilantro and dill—lots of it! I put fresh greens in my salads, even tuna, egg salad and roasted veggies. I also add cilantro or dill to fish and garnish everything with fresh parsley. Enhanced by these fresh herbs, the food looks, smells, and tastes so much better.

I never get bored of eating the wholesome food I love, just like I never get bored of eating chocolate!

Also, since fresh fruits seem to be more hit or miss these days (especially here in Eretz Yisrael now), I like to have dried fruit on hand to incorporate as well. Our favorite ways to add dried fruits to our menu (besides for eating them plain, of course) include stirring them into yogurt and oatmeal.

Sheindy Unger, CDC

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

We have been particularly enjoying soups this winter. A blended soup is a dinner component that seems to find its way onto our table most days of the week. I simply sauté an onion and then add whatever fresh or frozen vegetables that we have on hand and/or are in the mood for (then add some water, bring to a boil, then simmer for a while and blend with an immersion blender). One of my kids even commented that while he doesn't like zucchini on its own, he loves blended zucchini soup.

Luckily, since I'm a recipe developer, there's always something new in the making. Here’s one recent popular recipe for Tabouli Salad, an Israeli-style salad that contains bulgur, that’s been very well received. Get creative with add-ins (such as pomegranate arils). This recipe includes feta cheese and walnuts – scrumptious! For a non -dairy version, swap the cheese for chickpeas, olives, or both. Yield: 2 servings Bulgur 1⁄2 cup bulgur 1 cup boiling water

Tanya Rosen

Gila Glassberg, MS, RDN, CDN Shani Taub, CDC

D G

I’m quite a temperaturebased eater/ drinker, so my menu certainly changes according to the seasons. In the winter, I enjoy my coffee in the hot form, and in the summer in the iced version. In the winter, in my house, we’re obsessed with tea, especially blueberry tea. Most people haven’t ever tasted this flavor, but whenever visitors try it by us, they love it and buy it for themselves. Actually, the newest flavor I’m into (that I tasted at a friend’s house) is apple cinnamon. Highly recommended!

While some people prefer sticking to the same menu all the time, most enjoy some kind of change to add freshness and motivation to their routine. One very simple way to “spice” things up is to make slight changes and additions to usual dishes.

Place bulgur in a small bowl, then pour water over it. Let sit for 30 minutes or until water is absorbed. Salad 2 cups romaine lettuce 1 oz fresh parsley leaves 1 small cucumber 1 cup mini broccoli florets

A simple change such as swapping some spices, adding exciting ingredients, or tossing in pops of color can give a boost to your menu. It’s a great way to explore new flavors and keep things fresh and new.

1 small plum tomato

Here are some more ideas: Add a different spice to your usual dishes each time to change the flavor. Change pasta to quinoa or zucchini noodles. Decorate plates with garnish. Prepare pitchers of unsweetened teas for a variety of color on the table. Add citrus slices into pitchers, on glass rims, or as a garnish on plates. Get colorful napkins that match the season.

handful pomegranate arils, optional

The goal is to keep things fun and interesting to help you stay on track.

1⁄2 small red onion 1⁄2 cup feta cheese handful walnuts, shelled

3 Tbsp olive oil 1 tsp lemon juice Pinch salt and pepper Finely chop all vegetables. Drain excess juice. In a large bowl, mix all salad ingredients and combine with soaked bulgur.

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HOLISTIC

C I T S I L O H

Tamar Feldman RDN CDCES

Digestive Health

Understanding GERD (Part III)

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I have seen miraculous results in GERD patients when the underlying causes for their reflux were identified and treated, and most individuals are able to successfully wean off antacids over the course of a three-to-six-month period as the upper gut heals. Of particular importance is to focus on addressing food sensitivities, low stomach acid if it is suspected, and SIBO, which if treated can result in a complete elimination of reflux symptoms. The following are helpful supplements to utilize in the short term (3–6 months) while addressing underlying conditions: • DGL (deglycyrrhizinated licorice) taken 10–15 min before meals • Aloe, L-glutamine, zinc carnosine, and quercetin to speed healing of the upper GI mucosal lining • Digestive enzymes before meals • Digestive bitters and betaine HCl before meals, if low stomach acid is suspected Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE, is a dietitian whose mission is to improve lives by empowering individuals to use nutrition to improve their gut health and hormone balance. She is a recognized expert on IBS/SIBO and has developed the Gut Dietitian training protocols on IBS and IBD for Registered Dietitian education. She writes, lectures, and counsels extensively on IBD, IBS, PCOS/fertility, and thyroid health, and is the founder of the gutdietitian.com virtual practice and co-founder of the Belly app.

Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC

Physical Health

How To Set Attainable Goals So much about maintaining a healthy lifestyle is about setting attainable goals. How do we go about doing that? Once you’re clear with what you want to work on, I recommend following the “SMART” formula. SMART is an acronym for specific, measurable, attainable, and realistic goals, set within a time frame. Applying the acronym to your efforts will help you break down specific action steps, giving you a clear path to follow. For example, if your goal is to exercise more by walking to work, the SMART way to go about it is to set miniature milestones for yourself. Give yourself a few months to walk to work full-time. Your first step towards that goal will be to research the routes you can take and how long they are. Your next step will be to set one day a week aside to do so. Once you feel comfortable and get into a good routine, progress to two days per week and keep building until you reach your goal of getting to work without the help of a vehicle. SMART goal setting is effective because it prompts you to set hard deadlines that keep you accountable and makes it easy for you to see your progress. Keep in mind that people don’t achieve repeated success because they’re lucky. They achieve repeated success because they’ve found something that works – a formula, a strategy, or a tactic – and they’ve repeated it, adjusting as necessary. You can do that too and reach the goal you are trying to attain. It is also important to remember that what works for one will not necessarily work for another. Your sister might be consistent about getting out to the gym at 6:00 in the morning, while you feel great when you work out at home, once your kids are in bed for the night. Do what works for you and stick to it. Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC, a graduate from Mercy College and IIN, runs her functional medicine–based nutrition practice in Toms River, New Jersey, and virtually. Shaindy has tracks for teens, nursing and pregnant mothers, and women peri/post menopause, and tracks for women suffering from hormonal issues. She can be reached at 212.470.7660 or via her website at www.benefithealthprogram.com.

Shira Savit, MA, MHC, INHC

Emotional Eating

Eat While You’re Eating Nutritional science identifies several phases of digestion and their contributions to how food is metabolized. The first stage actually occurs in a person's head, not their stomach, and is called the cephalic phase (meaning “of the head”). This term describes the pleasures of taste, smell, visual stimulation, and satisfaction of a meal. Think about a time when you saw or smelled your favorite food, and felt your mouth water and stomach begin to rumble. This is the cephalic phase in action, which accounts for as much as 30 to 40 percent of your total digestive response. So let’s do the math. If we’re not aware of what we’re eating and don’t pay attention to the food’s flavor, appearance, and aroma, it means we are likely metabolizing our meal using only 60 to 70 percent of our body’s capacity for digestive response! When digestion is less than optimal (as in lacking awareness), there is reduced blood flow to the digestive organs; we end up wanting to eat more because we have not fully experienced the meal. Here’s how it works: Choose one meal a day during which you agree to refrain from multitasking. In addition, write down three things that you notice or enjoy about your food. The impact of paying attention while eating is profound. Most women who try this come back with excited reports and feedback such as: “I realized that I didn’t even need to add ketchup to my chicken because I became aware of the delicious flavor of the chicken itself!” Or, “When I ate without reading my magazine at the same time, I recognized that I felt full before I finished my plate.” Another client came to the wonderful realization that “this exercise helped me become more mindful and attentive in all areas of my life, not just food.” In learning to focus on “eating while eating,” we are able to maximize our body’s capacity to digest and burn calories. Shira Savit is a mental health counselor with multiple certifications in nutrition and health. She specializes in weight loss, emotional eating, and binge eating. Shira incorporates both nutritional and emotional components in helping her clients reach their goals. Shira has a private practice in Yerushalayim and works with women in any location via phone call or video session. She can be contacted at 516-978-7800, shira@cucumbersandchocolate.com, or via her website: cucumbersandchocolate.com.

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Playing games like peek-a-boo demonstrates your baby’s social and emotional development. Addressing a social / emotional delay early on, can prevent future struggles like social awkwardness and anxiety.

Medically fragile children often require assistance with early skill development. Obtaining the right EI services plays a pivotal role in preventing further delays. Concerned about your child’s development? Give us a call to see if we can help you get the services you need. Evaluations and sessions are scheduled at your convenience and at your location. We’re here to help master those early skills for later milestones!