The importance of emotional intelligence in the development of the child has always been recognized at The Willows. Character and heart are emphasized as essential to The Willows’ definition of a ‘great mind.’ Emotional intelligence, the ability to manage one’s own emotions and perceive the emotions of others, has been proven to improve academic and classroom performance, health, success, and conflict resolution.
“The case can be made scientifically,” writes Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. “Helping children improve their self-awareness and confidence, manage their disturbing emotions and impulses, and increase their empathy pays off not just in improved behavior but in measurable academic achievement.”
The Harvard Business Review has hailed emotional intelligence asRULER is an acronym that stands for the five skills of emotional intelligence– Recognizing, Understanding, Labeling, Expressing, and Regulating emotions.
ecognizing emotions in self and others
understanding the causes and consequences of emotions
abeling emotions with nuanced vocabulary
xpressing emotions in accordance with cultural norms and social context
egulating emotions with helpful strategies
© copyright Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence RULER
“In addition to academic studies, The Willows educational program focuses on communicating honestly, practicing inclusivity, working collaboratively, contributing meaningfully, and expressing empathy,” says Lisa Rosenstein, The Willows Head of School.
“When I heard Marc Brackett, the Director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, speak at the California Association of Independent Schools (CAIS) and discovered RULER, I immediately knew that this approach would be a perfect fit with The Willows’ mission and philosophy. It was apparent that it would integrate well with our DK-8 curricular and developmental goals for our children.”
Starting in 2015, The Willows embarked on intensive training with Dr. Brackett and the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence staff. As a RULER Flagship School, The Willows has integrated the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence RULER systemic approach to social emotional learning (SEL) throughout our school community. RULER is imbued in the life and culture of our school. Dedicated to bringing the RULER approach to as many schools as possible, The Willows hosted RULER training institutes in 2018 and 2019 for hundreds of educators and administrators, presented at conferences, and offered ongoing support to other RULER schools.
Developed over a 20-year period at Yale, RULER offers a flexible framework and versatile tools that our faculty, staff, administrators, parents, and students can use and adapt into daily life. RULER provides a unified method to identify emotions, to appropriately manage and communicate feelings, and to build respect and stronger connections. The Result: a more engaged learning environment and personal wellbeing. Emotionally intelligent students are more attentive, perform better academically, are less aggressive, and express greater empathy.
The Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence responds to the vital question, ‘Why do emotions matter?’
Emotions influence everyday life, including:
• Attention, memory, and learning
• Decision making
• Creativity
• Mental and physical wellbeing
• Ability to form and maintain positive relationships
• Academic and workplace performance
© copyright Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence RULER
These personal and social skills help people of all ages use emotions wisely and lead to success in school, work, and life.
Maya Angelou American Poet and Author
what is set down on paper.”
The charter is a mission statement for the classroom, school, and home that students, teachers, staff, and parents pledge to maintain. Each class charter is a collaborative document that promotes a productive, nurturing environment focusing on how each person wants to feel. By building the charter together, a class establishes strategies for sustaining a positive classroom climate and holding each other and themselves accountable.
The Willows Lower School Class Charters: A Willows Middle School Charter:
Our 5th grade students, who study American History during the year, created class charters in the style of the founders of our Constitution making history personal and relevant.
Using moods associated with colors, the mood meter, also an app, is a simple but dynamic tool designed to help students recognize and communicate their feelings and develop a nuanced emotion vocabulary. Students and teachers use this tool to label a feeling, express it verbally, and respond to each other, building empathy. The Mood Meter expands vocabulary and enables students to examine and communicate their emotions more fully.
Mood Meters are found in some form in all our classrooms. Throughout the day, the students are able to plot themselves in one of the four quadrants to demonstrate how they are currently feeling.
Developmental Kindergarten Class Mood Meter
Music
The Meta-Moment offers a brief step back from a situation when a moment is taken to pause and think before acting. Designed to help students and teachers align with their “best self”, the Meta-Moment provides a process for responding to any challenging situation with strategies that offer self-control. This tool leads to better choices, promotes healthier relationships, and reduces anxiety in students and the classroom.
The Blueprint supports conflict resolution and the development of empathy. This tool encourages a user to view a problem from the other person’s perspective and use healthy strategies to solve a conflict, overcome a challenge, or manage emotions. Together or independently, students and teachers consider each other’s viewpoints and feelings and formulate healthy solutions. Using the Blueprint enables students to see the world from another’s perspective, as well as their own, and leads to reduced aggressions lessening the time of classroom disruption.
Identifying, understanding, and being your best self supports the RULER tools, especially the Meta-Moment, by providing a process for pausing and using strategies that align with your best self to reduce conflict and foster well-being.
Everyone, children, or adults, need social skills, self-control, and empathy to navigate our connected society. With these RULER tools, students, teachers, and staff are asked to develop strategies for regulating emotions such as meditation, deep breathing, physical activity, visualization, journaling and listening to music. Regulating personal emotions is an often difficult but necessary positive step in attaining greater emotional intelligence. Students with stronger emotional intelligence are better prepared to handle interactions with the world around them and to focus, learn, and thrive at school, at home, and in society.
The Wheel of Choices, created by our Developmental Kindergarten teachers is used in both Developmental Kindergarten and Kindergarten as an engaging and effective tool for students to find different strategies to help them cope with their emotions. This simple tool teaches students independence and promotes independent problem solving. Prior to creating the wheel, the teachers brainstorm with their class and discuss the various types of effective strategies students might use when they are in the red or blue quadrant of the mood meter.
The impact of RULER in schools has resulted in:
• Positive shifts in school climate by enhancing teacher instruction and increasing student engagement
• Enhanced academic performance
• Better quality relationships strengthening student bonds with peers and teachers
• Less bullying and aggressive behavior
• Improved leader and teacher effectiveness and retention
• Less stress and anxiety with greater health and wellbeing
RULER has also impacted family wellness when families are engaged in RULER activities to support what students learn in school.
RULER Workshop for ParentsRULER-based creative projects and artwork are displayed in our hallways and classrooms reflecting the emotions, the words, and the students’ use of the mood meter. RULER is also integrated into our curriculum.
Instead of simply describing the character, students were asked to take a more empathetic approach and describe how characters felt. For example, the character of Cherry may be described as pretty and popular but using the RULER approach and inferential thinking, students understand that she often feels marginalized and misunderstood.
Our Middle School 7th Grade students created a Character Chart for The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton using the RULER Feeling Words Curriculum.
Our Upper Elementary presented an original work, The Window of Emotions, on Poetry Night, comprised of poetry, music, and dance, which reflected their work in SEL and the use of RULER in their daily lives.
The window of emotions opens… and the color green bursts out!
(GREEN)
I have a tree in me that waves when the wind blows, That sits there calmly hoping to be found. That waits for someone to trust its branches. I have a tree in me. Its roots keep me secure.
(YELLOW)
It’s my birthday! Confetti stars, dancing fireworks, rainbow birds! Smiling clouds, floating sparkles, tornados of fun!
It was like a circus in my house. Exactly what I wanted!
(BLUE)
I have an empty room in me that was once crowded with colors and laughter, that now echoes with disappearing footsteps, that holds the remnants of conversations.
I have a steep canyon in me, where the wolves howl until dawn
You never listen You make me want to scream
Don’t tell me what to do It’s not fair You’re so mean to me I hate sharing.
These emotions are the fuel for the engine of life.
We may not always think we need them, but without them, the world would have no color. As this window of emotion closes tonight, somewhere else another window opens.
RULER is one of the many tools that enhance our teaching practices and the academic performance and self-regulation of our students. In addition to RULER, we offer a comprehensive approach to sustain and build the emotional intelligence and well-being of our students. The following are a few other curricular examples contributing to student wellness:
• School Counselor available throughout the school day for all students, teachers, and parents
• Mindfulness
• Buddy System pairing our youngest with our oldest students to gain an understanding of different age groups
• Health and wellbeing experts, psychologists, and authors working with our faculty, staff, students, and parents
• Our Speaker Series featuring psychologists and other experts to The Willows to speak on a wide range of social emotional and parenting topics
• Outside consultants offering workshops on safety and wellness issues such as anxiety, peer pressure, substance abuse, body image, social media and more
• Life Skills classes and advisories
• Family wellness events such as RULER family charter workshops
• Diversity, Equity, and Inclusivity workshops, events, and curriculum
These tools and programs assist us in nurturing our students and maintaining our unique, positive, and vibrant school environment and culture.
We foster character by emphasizing the development of social and emotional skills hand-in-hand with academic skills.
From our Core Values on Character
“Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.” Aristotle